#like my sister said you're gonna love this one it has old men in love but i wasnt fucking ready

[fritzllang]

let's make a deal you'll care for me and i'll teach you all about love

[percervall]

slipping through my fingers all the time — smau

Summary: A peek into the lives of girlypop and her gaggle of husbands Pairing: Kevin Magnussen x fem!reader, Lewis Hamilton x fem!reader, Mark Webber x fem!reader Warnings: none

images are all from pinterest, tumblr and instagram

kevinmagnussen and others liked this

girlypop take all the time you need, peanut

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susie_wolff congratulations! you're gonna be the best mama ↳ girlypop thanks Susie!

jasmiine so happy for you guys! can't wait to be the best auntie for peanut! ↳ girlypop peanut is lucky to have you!

girlypop, lewishamilton and others liked this

kevinmagnussen welcome to the world Agnes. Your mummy and dads love you so much already

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oscarpiastri welcome little roo

carmenmundt congratulations!

mickshumacher laila and I will come visit soon! congrats sis 😉 liked by girlypop

susie_wolff, jasmiine, and others liked this

girlypop Agnes wanted to look at every single flower before picking her favourites for her dads. Happy father's day my loves

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jasmiine your husbands are the luckiest men ↳ lewishamilton oh, we know liked by aussiegrit and kevinmagnussen

landonorris glad to see the bucket hat is appreciated ✌🏼 liked by girlypop

girlypop, aussiegrit and others liked this

lewishamilton words cannot express how happy we are. welcome Margot, you are so loved already

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georgerussell63 congrats mate!

charles_lecerc congratulations! 👶🏼

sebastianvettel congratulations!

susie_wolff Agnes can't wait to meet her little sister! congrats you four, she's perfect

susie_wolff, lilyzneimer, and others liked this

girlypop getting so big already!

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sebastianvettel look at my goddaughter getting so strong! liked by girlypop

lailahasanovic 🏃🏼‍♀️ omw for some baby snuggles ↳mickshumacher 🏃🏼‍♂️ wait for me!

aussiegrit posted a new story!

↳ oscarpiastri good to know I am not the only one she's got wrapped around her finger ↳ fernandoalo_ofical she's got better moves than him! 😂 ↳ jasmiine i'd say sorry for turning my niece into a swifty but you're welcome feels more appropriate 😘

aussiegrit, kevinmagnussen and others liked this

girlypop whoever said it was a good idea to have a baby with a 6ft giant obviously has never been pregnant before

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jasmiine if you need me to 🧹 lmk ↳aussiegrit do I even want to know what this means? ↳jasmiine no✨

susie_wolff oh I know, it's the absolute worst! but, also worth it in the end liked by girlypop

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aussiegrit Our family felt incomplete without you. Welcome Luke

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jensonbutton congratulations man. fatherhood looks good on you liked by girlypop

fernandoalo_oficial congratulations!

oscarpiastri congrats old man! liked by girlypop and aussiegrit

fernandoalo_oficial, oscarpiastri and others liked this

girlypop @.brittnyward is this yours?

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brittnyward ah, so that's where he went. pls remind him to pick up dishwasher tablets liked by girlypop ↳girlypop will do babe!

lilyzneimer can't blame him! baby luke is the cuddliest baby ever! liked by girlypop

landonorris, mickshumacher and others liked this

girlypop this is what happens when Oscar and uncle LaLa look after Luke for the weekend 🤦🏼‍♀️

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oscarpiastri cheers mum 😶 this was all Lando ↳landonorris whats that supposed to mean? he looks like the coolest toddler on the grid! ↳jensonbutton he looks ready to take over quadrant liked by landonorris

lilyzneimer how did Agnes' race go? ↳aussiegrit she did so well! roo came third and was disappointed she didn't get to spray the champagne. pretty sure I saw nano cry ↳fernandoalo_oficial so did you cabrón liked by jensonbutton

the next time I decide to do a smau, I'd appreciate it if someone would remind me of just how long this took me

please let me know what you think. your comments, likes, and tags mean the absolute world to me 💜

[raindrop-21]

Scarred Love - Chapter Seven: Sun And Moon

a/n: finally got some motivation and finished it, enjoy <3

Word count: 1,516

Cw: Ghoap x f!reader, soulmates, talk about scars, tiny mention if kidnapping[in a joking way] (Tell me if I missed any)

Ch1, Ch2, Ch3, Ch4, Ch5, Ch6, Ch7, Ch8~ Masterlist

Soulmates. You have them. They’re yours. All yours. How is this real? The happiness flowing throughout your body has made you energetic. The boys have taken you to a café to celebrate. Your entire body is still except for your mind and your leg that won't stop bouncing with adrenaline. You still can’t believe it’s real.

Johnny must be able to feel how the adrenaline is pulsing throughout your body with the way his hand is placed on your knee. You can tell he’s feeling the same way by the giddy smile on his face. Simon gets up to get your drinks once they’re ready, and when he’s back, he places your latte in front of you and Johnny’s mocha frappé in front of the two of you.

“I don’t think the two of you need any more serotonin in your systems.” He says with a huff as he places his own drink down; Earl Grey tea.

“We’re jus’ happy, ye’ big oaf.” You laugh at Johnny’s words.

The three of you spend a bit talking about small, mundane things before the topic of family is brought up. Oh no, you forgot that you had to meet their families… And they have to meet yours. Your family isn’t a big fan of them. All your family knows (thinks) is that your soulmate(s) didn’t give two shits about you and caused you a bunch of pain. That’s half true, they didn’t care about you because they didn’t know you were hurting with them, they didn’t know you existed. 

You can see it now; your mother red in the face, on verge of tears, a mix of joy and a mix of resentment, your father sitting on the couch acting like they don’t exist, keeping himself from yelling at them, your older sister looking at them with a look of jealousy and trying to figure out a way to steal them from you even though her soulmate is right next to her, the poor girl is so sweet, your younger brother wondering if the same will happen to him, but with two women, for the rest of the family; you can only imagine.

“Lass? Lass?” You’re pulled out of your train of thought by Johnny tapping your shoulder and calling for you. “Lass, you okay?”

“Yea… Just worried about the two of you meeting my family is all.” Johnny notices the truth behind your words by the sigh you let out and wraps an arm around you.

“Don’t worry Lass, me and Si can handle ourselves, right Si?”

“Right.” He huffs out.

You let out a sigh, “I believe you guys can handle yourselves, I do. It’s just that my family doesn’t exactly have… Nice opinions of the two of you…”

“Not nice opinions like how?” Simon says with a cocked eyebrow.

“Well…. They think you’re self-centered assholes who don’t give two shits about your soulmate and want to cause as much harm as possible to them.” The boys let out low whistles in response.

“Tha's no good…” Johnny mutters under his breath. “Could ye elaborate, Lass?”

You take in a deep breath, “I'm gonna say their hatred towards the two of you stem from the fact that not only was I born with a couple of scars, I continued getting small ones while I was little,” You hear Simon say something under his breath, you think he might've said “Curse that old bastard.”, “And between the ages of eight and now is when the scars and physical pain increased. I was badly bedridden for quite a bit.”

You can see the gears turning in both Johnny and Simon's head. What are they thinking about?

“Luvie, how old are you?” 

You look at Simon as he speaks to you, realizing you've never told either of them your age, and vice versa.

“I'm twenty-one, why, how old are the two of you?” Your curiosity is peaked, how old are the two men you're supposed to spend the rest of forever with?

Johnny sighs, “I'm twenty-six and Si's thirty-one.”

“Oh, that’s not that bad, only a 5 and ten year difference.” You say with a giggle.

“Yer still a kid.” Simon huffs out, which you take offense to, “I am not a kid. I can drink, drive, smoke, and vote, thank you.” You say, the attitude heavily present in your voice.

“A kid can do all that with a fake ID.” He counters, “Yer brain won’t fully develop ‘til yer twenty-five.”

You dramatically gasp at his response. The audacity of this man, “Then by that logic, Johnny’s brain just recently fully developed.” You snap back.

“Johnny’s a doofus, but the horrors of war matured him.” Johnny takes playful offense to Simon calling him a ‘doofus’.

The horrors of war, you might not have seen them, but you sure as hell felt them. The proof is literally etched into your skin by the hundreds of scars that are littered all over your body. A large one on your ass cheek for god’s sake, the recovery for that one was hell; you were either constantly standing or laying on your stomach. You couldn’t sit for weeks. It’s debatable what’s worse; seeing and feeling what’s happening to your body as it’s happening, or not knowing what’s happening, just being in pain. You don’t know what horrors they’ve seen, what plagues their mind, memories, and even dreams.

You sigh, you’re not going to argue and be stubborn, as much as you want to, you know whatever counterargument they have could easily prove you wrong or start an argument. So, you decide to use pure fact against them.

“Actually, due to brain metabolism, a woman’s brain develops three years faster than a man’s. Meaning, by next year my brain will be fully developed, and you guys know what horrors caused your scars, I don’t. I don’t know why I have a bunch of ragged lines and bullet wounds littered throughout my body. This may seem like an excuse or guilt trip of sorts, but it’s not. It’s just facts.” You say with a sigh.

Johnny and Simon just look at you, and it dawns on them that you were ten when Simon was eighteen, fourteen when Price recruited him for Task Force 141. Nineteen, with terrible scars that only multiplied when you were sixteen and Johnny twenty-four, a year into his military work and being recruited to the 141. Your scars only got worse and more visible, but instead of detesting the two who had caused you so much harm, you had walked up to them and spoke to them so shyly, thinking they wouldn’t believe you.

The strange silence is interrupted by a call you get, it’s from Eve. Holy crap, you forgot to call her. It’s nearly three in the afternoon. You look at the boys.

“Hey, this is important, I gotta take this. Do you mind if I take it at the table?”

“Go ahead.” They say in unison.

You sigh and answer the call, not too sure how Eve’s going to react, “Hello?”

“Girl! Why haven’t you called or texted me? I’ve been worried you got kidnapped!” She fussed, “It wouldn’t be hard…. Those two are freaking huge…” She mutters under her breath.

“I haven’t been kidnapped.” You respond with what seems like a sigh mixed with a giggle, your response makes Johnny and Simon raise their eyebrows, “I’m actually a legal step below being married and have full citizenship in Great Britain now.” After you say this you instinctively pull the phone away from your ear expecting her to happily squeal.

“Oh my god! You’ve found your soulmates!” She squeals out loudly, just as you expected her to. You can hear all types of giggles and congratulations from your other friends that are in the room with her, “You have to send us a picture of them!” She happily suggests.

You look over to Simon and Johnny before asking them, “My friends want to see a picture of the two of you, could I take and send one?”

You get an affirmative gruff from Simon, “Only if ye set it as yer lock screen after.” Johnny says with a grin, which you take as a yes.

You quickly pull up your camera app and position the camera correctly, “Say cheese.” You ring out playfully. Johnny smiles, pearly whites on full display, and Simon does smile, you can’t see his mouth from under the black surgical mask he’s wearing, but you can see the way his eyes crinkle at the corners. You quickly take the picture and send it to your friend’s group chat.

The other line of the phone is silent for what seems like forever before you get a response, “Ho-ly Hell they are good-looking. They compliment each other so well, like the sun and the moon. You can be their Earth, their bringer of life.” Eve says with a giggle.

“Oh my god, ew. I’m hanging up.” You said with a giggle before hanging up the phone.

“So…. Kidnapping, pictures, and bringing life… Interesting topics…” Simon chides.

Taglist:

@under-the-dirt @littlebluespoon @actuallyhiswife @cassiecasluciluce @darling006 @cdej6 @whynotbad @kaoyamamegami @oooof-ifellforyou @aldis-nuts @fanngirl19 @zealouspursecowboydeputy

[snowywolf1005]

@ruanime34 : It's hard to pick just one, but my mind will probably like more wholesome young ASL x mother reader. @snowywolf1005 Or what if girls like Hancock who love her sons try to impressed the mother reader but they always fail ( ps the mother reader now her some of sons love someone)

You got it! But let make it a real life, like the brothers go to school together.

ASL X MOTHER READER

Your son's is at school. You got a break from makino Restaurant. You live above the restaurant. It's an apartment.

As you sit on the table, staring at the person across the table from you. The person smiles awarded by your look of your eyes of bored holes into the soul.

It made you very sick when the person tried to be kind, and that person was none other than boa hancock. The most beautiful woman of the world.

Why are you angry at her? Oh, right, she's asking for your son's hand in marriage. YOUR SON, WHO WAS BARELY EVEN AN ADULT!!!! Luffy, she's talking about.

You're a single mother with three sons. You did good, take care of them, they grown into quite handsome you're proud of.

You knew about her reputation as being the most beautiful woman and having both men and women alike swoon over her, but you would not budge.

You had always felt that for one to be beautiful, beauty had to shine from inside first. Despite how angry you were at Hancock, you didn't want to harm her. She was a friend of Luffy's, and Luffy had all types of friends, and you weren't going to interfere.

However, Luffy had already rejected Hancock's proposal many times before. This changed things. It bothered you that an adult woman who was known for rejecting every man and woman would swoon over your teenage son.

"U-um... M-Ms. (Y/N)... would you... p-p-please... l-l-l-l-let me... m-m-ma..." Great, now she began to stutter out the question again.

You could hear her sisters Sandersonia and Marigold cheering her on, calling you a stingy old witch who couldn't rival her in beauty.

Are you gonna let hancock marry luffy? No. You knew her true nature, and before Hancock would blush feverishly from asking you to let her marry Luffy, you interrupted.

"No." You said.

Hancock face now all scrunched with in hate. "AND WHY NOT!! YOU OLD WOMEN?! DON'T YOU KNOW WHO YOU'RE TALKING TO?! LET ME MARRY YOUR SON!! I HAVE RIGHT!! I'M BEAUTIFUL!" hancock scream.

You sighed, "like I said. No. You're not married. My son. don't make me say it twice, I am not swayed by your beauty. That is nothing but conventional. Plus, you're too old for him. What's the media going to say about a thirty year old supermodel desperate for a teenage boy?" You ask.

"I'M TWENTY NINE!" She yelled, "Well, close enough..." You said. "EXCUSE ME!! HOW DARE YOU, YOU SCUM!" She yelled at you.

But you grabbed her shirt, which cost a lot of money to impress luffy, closer to you. In the look of fear of hancock looking at your eyes, like the prey is about to get killed by other prey.

"Have you gotten who you are talking to? I'm a single mother with three sons whom I'm very proud of. and if you want me as a potential mother-in-law, the first thing you wouldn't do is look down on me. You've done nothing but make my answer more solid and confirmed." You said,

She dramatically turned around, eyes big and doe-like with beautiful black hair swishing around her. You could've sworn that there were sparkles on her skin, too.

Then nyon came to stop the argument, "I am sorry." Elder Nyon said, made surprise you.

"I am truly sorry for Hancock's behavior. I understand that you are not happy with her proposal, and it is wrong to try and force the boy into something he didn't want at such a young age. I will not bother you again, and i will try to see to it that hancock will not bother you either." She said, you agree, but hancock refuses.

But you told her, you can't accept cause luffy is just a teenager and she has find a other man. And they left,

Not even five seconds later, you heard the honking of a car and groaned, the migraine in your head getting progressively worse. However, you slowly began to sit up as you heard a familiar chorus of cheers and whoops.

A big smile was plastered on your face, and you felt the incoming migraine fade. Kicking open the door, it was Luffy and his friends, the "Strawhat gang" as they called themselves. They all filed in, each smiling at along with a chorus of greetings.

The gang says hi to you. "Hey, mom!" said Luffy, already chewing on some of the food. You smiled brightly and went over to your youngest son, brushing back a strand of (h/c) hair. You didn't want to admit it, but you did spoil Luffy a little.

"Hi sweetie, where are your brothers? I didn't see them here earlier. Do you know where they went?" You asked, hugging Luffy. You let go once he brought up his hand to his head.

"What do you mean, mom? They're right over there." He said, jabbing his thumb towards the living room where you saw Sabo and Ace smiling at you sheepishly.

"Since you boys get here? You got me so worried!" You said, Ace tumbled over a bit in laughter as Sabo had a sweet smile on his face. "Mom, we've been here ever since we got back from school. There was no practice today." He said, grinning mischievously.

You realized that they had listened in on every word between you and Hancock. "Oh. Let's not talk about it. What you just heard, okay? " sabo and Ace nodded.

THANKS FOR REQUESTING!!

[melfinawins]

I'm going to write a longish post on this, but yeah.

Also, if you're not down for vague dooming, don't read this lmao

For me, The Bear is a Hallmark movie with more swearing and more teeth. It'll end in the same spot as a Hallmark movie. Carmy will find balance and either be on his way to healing those open wounds from his childhood or will have healed them. He'll be self satisfied. Balanced. Home is Where the Heart Is type shit with a dash of All the Answers I was Searching for was Here all Along!

The question of romance on the show for me was about which romance trope was being used.

Was it going to be Carmy reconnecting with an old flame from his past? Or was it Carmy meets a person who changes his life for the better, but they're quirky/awkward and even though she drives him crazy, she drives him crazy.

I've seen the BTS from S4. I'm of two minds on this. Either Storer and co decided to resolve the romance aspect of the show a season early (weird, but I kind of like that?? That's certainly not as common these days) and it's about other things in s4 pertaining to the suspicions some of us have about Syd's job prospects. And then s4 is about either getting her back or a rivalry or just connecting on a personal level again. There are more options I'm sure, but those are the ones I'm thinking about currently.

Or, Claire is really just the cold prep as @chefkids and @thoughtfulchaos773 and others have more eloquently said, and Carmy will realize he wants Syd at the end of the series and breaks up with Claire.

The part of me who loves interesting stories and unexpected turns wants the romance part to be resolved because that's fun to me. But the black woman that I am who is so fucking sick and tired of seeing black characters support and lift up white characters is like, over it.

Another way I can see this going on the romance part is really what Joanna Calo said about Syd and Carmy: they really are just platonic and messy! So Carmy gets the best of two women. Cool. 🤢

Anyway!

I like to keep in mind that The Bear is a story about Chris, Gillian and his sister. The show is biographical in nature and when I think about SydCarmy not happening, it's more because Chris is like ew, Syd represents my sister and that's gross and less I don't value the stories of black women.

Like, Claire is a doctor and I kinda hate that her position in Carmy's life is so on the nose and I want for men to fucking stop treating the women in their lives like their therapists and parents/bangmaids Jesus fucking Christ. But Storer is a man, and a white man at that, so. 🙃 Like, Carmy has real issues that need a professional. No pussy is gonna cure that, not even Syd's!

If Carmy is the literal worst in s3 and nukes all his relationships because he refuses to get therapy and deal with his issues, I hope he and Claire end up together and stay together because damn, Syd deserves more than that dysfunction because she really is already too good for him.

But he hasn't done anything that's not salvageable. Yet.

Anyway, thanks for attending my Ted Talk!

[fandomtherapy44]

Klaus x reader

Summary: This story is from the perspective of Y/n Marshall the younger sister of Hayley Marshall. Side note I love Hayley one of my favorite characters. Basically Y/n will be pregnant instead of Hayley and I will be changing some things up but then that it should stay pretty close to the series. I hope you enjoy the story! Also, if you like I have a Castiel x reader

Paring: Klaus x reader

Word count: 1,449

Warnings: Some language, Typical the Originals violence, Spoilers for season one of The Originals, Pregnancy

I got the divder from

saradika

 Chapter 4: Girl in New Orlens

POV (Y/n)                      

“Look I'm sure Y/n feels great right Y/n.” “Uh well-” “See she’s fine.” Agnes the witch had suggested that we go see a doctor for the baby and Hayley was not happy. “She’s overdue for a checkup Hayley.” I would love that but I can’t get my sentence without my protective sister talking for me. “ What is she gonna do? Pop into the Quarter for a quick ultrasound? A pregnant werewolf escorted by a witch and another werewolf? Nothing to see here!” I was about to speak for myself before Rebekah had something to say herself.

“A lot of women would kill to have a child. It strikes me as odd that you're not letting your sister take better care of hers.” I can hear the resentment in her voice because I use sound and feel the same way whenever I saw a pregnant woman before. “Um If I may Hayley I appreciate your concern but I do need a checkup and I'm sure there has to be some doctor that will see people in my special condition right Agnes.” “Yes there is, out in the Bayou, off the beaten path. Now, I took the liberty of making an appointment for you. Tonight, after-hours, just us. Vampires will never get word of it.” “See Hayley everything will be okay plus I'll have a werewolf bodyguard.” I moved to hug her and she rolled her eyes and caved in. “ Okay, fine. Bayou-baby-doctor it is.” I squeezed her with excitement. 

Agnes and Hayley walked out the room and I was left with Rebekah. “Shouldn't you be off to get ready for your appointment.” Ahh there’s the venom in her words again. “Look Bex, I hope that’s not to forward . I don't know if you knew but before a couple months ago it was a fact that I could not make my own children.” She looked stunned. So I went on. “So I know that pain of seeing around what you want but can’t have. But I was given a miracle so my wish is that you have the same.” I looked at my stomach with a small smile and walked out. “Wait, why tell me?” “So you wouldn't feel alone.” 

We drove up to the bayou doctor’s house and from the outside it did not look promising. “This is the doctor's office?” Hayley was looking and was thinking the same things as I. “Dr. Paige is only this far out because Marcel's men kept terrorizing her patients. Go! She won't bite!” Hayley and I get out and walk to the shady looking front door. 

“Alright dear you can go ahead and lay down here.” Dr. Paige patted the bench for me. “So first off all why don’t we go ahead and do the ultra sound huh?” She pulled out some gloves and blue gel and an old school medical tv screen. “Please lift your shirt and it might be a little chilly.” She put the gel on and I looked on the screen and there was my little girl. “Oh my gosh Hayley, do you see her!” Hayley grabbed my hand. “Yes I do, I can already tell she’s going to be beautiful.” At this moment only one more person could make it perfect, Klaus.

“Would it be possible to get some copies of it?” I asked with so much hope. “Of course darling just give me a few.” She came back with some pictures and I wanted to cry. “Thank you, thank you.” I was almost clutching them. “Why don't we finish the checkup so mama can get home and rest.” “Yes of course doctor.” “Your baby's heart rate is perfect.” “I knew it. She's a tough one, like her mom.” I said and smiled in response. She hands me some tissue to clean up the gel and looks at my shoulder.

“That's a unique birthmark.” Hayley handed my sweater to me. “We're pretty much done here, right?” She responded standoffish.  I looked at her in wonder as to what was happening. At that moment Bex sends me an text reading "Where are you?"” I responded quickly. “Your blood pressure is a bit high, I've got something for it.” The doctor turns away and Hayley get startled by a wolf howling. We get up and look out the window and see a car pull up and some not so friendly men get out. The doctor turns back with some medicine and Hayley gets on her defensive stand.

“Ahh, you know, I'm-I'm actually not that good with pills.” “Heh, neither am I, truth be told.” She turns around again to prepare some kind of shot when We see the men start to come to the house. She turns around with the shot but I quickly headbut her. And Hayley grabs the syringe and gives her the whatever was in there. At this point those men were about to enter the room I locked it. And we ran out the window into the woods just in time as they bested in.

The men who raided the clinic are still looking for us in the woods behind the clinic, and they pass us, not seeing that we are hiding behind a tree. Hayley runs up to them and kicks the first man she encounters in the gut before knocking him to the ground. I jump and kick the second man down as well as I snap his neck.

A third man tries to attack us but Hayley grabs a knife from his hands and cuts his neck with it as she spins in the air. When a fourth lunges toward her, I grab his shotgun and knock him to the ground, and possibly kill him as I kick him and beat him in the head with the butt of the gun. As I crouched into a defensive position on the ground, my eyes flash werewolf-gold as I look around for any more threats. A large, burly man descends upon her, but before Hayley can react, his neck is snapped from behind by Rebekah, who has just arrived.

"Have to say, I'm impressed.” “How did you find us?” I ask. “Your text got me halfway, vamping here did the rest. Who are they?” “Witches. Warlocks. Whatever.” “There're more of them. Run!” Bex yelled out and we ran as she fought them off. We hear grunt and i turn to see a arrows enter heart. “ Rebekah!” We both yelled out as we did arrows shoat us in the shoulder making us pass out.

I wake up with one Hell of a headache and realize I didn't see Hayley. “HAYLEY!” “Y/N!” I ran to give her a hug. “What happened?” “I have no idea N/n but let's try to find Rebekah. “I nodded my head in agreement. 

As we walked back to the clinic I saw the person I really wanted. “Klaus…” I whispered to myself. “Y/n! What happened? Tell me what happened.” He rushed over to me and started to check to see if I was visibly hurt. “ I can't remember. Can you Hayley?” “No.” “You've completely healed. There's not a scratch on you.” Klaus at this point was holding my face.

“One of the perks of being a werewolf, remember?” “No, not that fast.” Bex ran over to me to help sit me down on the steps. “Leave her alone! [She thinks for a moment] It's the baby. The vampire blood-- Klaus' vampire blood-- in your system. It can heal any wound.” “This baby really is a miracle huh.” Klaus just started at me smiling a little bit.

“How did you escape? You were outnumbered, unarmed? Those men were ripped to shreds!” Hayley answered for us. “ I think it was the wolfs. I think there trying to protect us.” “The witches were supposed to protect you! When I get my hands on Sophie Deveraux–” “ It wasn't Sophie. It was Agnes.” I now said with venom. “ Fine! Agnes, Sophie, it's all the same to me! I'll slaughter the lot of them!” “Not if Elijah gets there first.” “Elijah? Did you find him?” Hayley asked with hope.

“He's been in touch, and he has a plan. All he asks is that we take care of you two.” She finished looking at the both of us. “ Hey, so... can we go home now? I'd really like to sleep for a few days…” I started to get up but my body could not handle it and was about to collapse when Klaus caught me. ”Ooh, I've got you, love. I've got you.” That was the last thing I heard before I passed out from pure exhaustion. 

Hey Yawl hope you enjoyed the chapter. It was so fun writing about the werewolf fighting and of course Klaus concern with y/n. See you in the next one! Also if you like supernatural I have a Castiel x reader.

[honey-minded-hivemind]

X Men Evolution. Yandere Lance with little sister reader who has the ability to control air.

Aaaaawwwww! Siblings! Let's see if we can't give the rock guy a sibling! (I do gender-neutral Reader). Let's give you something good:

Being in the foster care system was tough.

It made Lance a rougher, harder person, hard to break and tough to crack. His powers only made him stronger, able to cause earthquakes and control the rocks underfoot. But he did have a soft spot for one person:

You.

You were his little sibling, his good luck charm, his Blarney Stone, the one person who could make him feel better with no effort at all. Just look at you:

You were perfect.

Not to mention your powers complimented his.

Air manipulation. The ability to control the air and use its full force, creating strong gusts of wind, cool breezes in the heat, and a powerful current capable of toppling someone thrice your size over.

Wind wears down rock, rock stands through wind, erosion and sediment and all of that.

Point was, you were the (literal) winds beneath his (figurative) wings. Where he went, you came with, and wherever you went, he wasn't far to follow.

That being said-

He hated having to share you with others.

The Brotherhood was okay. Not great, but a lot better than other places. He was more or less the leader, and the others (eventually, if not immediately) followed orders. They could fun to hang out with, each with their own unique gifts and talents (usually causing chaos with them). They were pretty alright with him.

Except for right now, when they were hogging you from him.

"C'mon, Lance. They're sweet as pie! Plus they say they can make it!" Fred told him, while Pietro was talking a mile a minute with you.

"Yo, man, they're a good one. Why can't we hang out with them more? Aren't we their friends too?" Toad wheedles, sitting atop his perch on Fred's shoulder. He almost acts like a parrot, or hawk, or some bird that isn't far from its falconry friend.

"And you've bothered them enough. Reader, come on! We're taking a ride somewhere!" Lance calls, and that catches his little sibling's attention, while earning him an annoyed look from Pietro. Yeah, look, he gets it, his sibling is awesome and listens to everyone and tries to be inclusive. But they're HIS sibling, and that means HE should be able to hang out with them without the others stealing them away every five minutes.

"Okay! Where're we going, Lance-a-lot?" you ask, using the nickname you gave him. The other teens snicker, until you turn and give them a sharp look. "Stop laughing! NOW!" The air in the room goes freezing cold, blasting sharply at them, earning a small shriek from Toad and Pietro. "Hmph!"

"Good job, squirt. You're my dragon in shining scales," Lance praises gently, and the Teo of you leave to head to his Jeep. "Oh, and guys? They're my sibling."

That earns a few shocked looks as well as questions, but the two of them are out the door and soon sitting in the old Jeep, picking out a destination. "So, what's it gonna be, squirt? Where do you wanna go?" he asks, giving his sibling a soft smile.

"McDonalds!" you cheer, a wide grin on your face. "That way we can share the chicken nuggets!"

"Okay, to McDonalds!"

Man, he loved being your brother...

"Hey, Lance, hey, kid. Can we get slushies?"

"AH!"

"Oh, hi Wanda!"

Well, at least it's just Wanda...

Wait...

"How did you get in my Jeep?!"

"I slept in here."

"..."

"..."

"Can we still get McDonalds?"

He sighs.

"Yeah, we can still get McDonald's."

"Oh yeah, man, can we come too?"

"WHY ARE YOU HERE?!"

"Stops screaming Lance and drive," Pietro orders from the back.

"Yeah, Lance! They have Ty Beanie Babies in their Happy Meals!"

... Well, at least he gets to spend SOME time with his sibling... Plus his friends. At least he doesn't have to fight the X-Teens over them...

[mermaidsirennikita]

hiii caro!! i'm looking for recs with a hairy mmc... like the hairier the better tbh. down for historical/paranormal/contemp, honestly anything that mentions a dude being hairy and the fmc or mmc (doesn't matter!) being into it. thank u queen you've never done me wrong and i trust your recommendations above all others. 🙏❣️

You're so kind! Whenever people say things like that I feel so undeserving lol, it's very sweet.

I also love pelt men. We need more.

SO! I would first off saying that Kresley Cole's werewolf IAD books generally feature big wolfy men (obviously) who tend to be pretty... scruffy. Pleasure of a Dark Prince is always going to be my go-to for entry-level Lykae (as she calls them) (though tbh, Garreth is still... a lot... and I mean that in the best way).

Knockout by Sarah MacLean features Tommy, who is bearded and has thighs like a giant oak trees, which is all what I want. He's supposed to give "the duke from Miss Scarlet and The Duke" (but he fucks) vibes.

A Holly Jolly Ever After by Sierra Simone and Julie Murphy has a hero who's both hairy AND dad bod-i-ful which is honestly just like a fucking dream.

The Game Plan by Kristen Callihan has a very brawny, very beardy, quietly strong NFL player who has been pining after the heroine (his best friend's sister in law) for quite some time. And he is! A virgin!

Devil in Disguise by Lisa Kleypas has Keir, a Scottish hero who is bearded for Plot Important Reasons, but also basically has to wear a beard because he's too pretty without it. Like. The women can't handle it. He's doing them a service.

A lot of Kleypas books have moments that note the heroes' hairy bodies, actually. Which is why she makes it a point to be like RHYS WINTERBORNE JUST CAN'T GROW BODY HAIR AND HE WAS BULLIED FOR IT. In Kleypas books having a smooth chest is like. Something people will spit on you for.

So yeah, basically every Kleypas hero aside from Rhys is gonna have her mention that he is Hairy.

I am not 10000% sure on this, but I feel like The Hawk by Monica McCarty has a hairy Scottish hero. Like I feel as if there's a scene where he pops out of the water completely naked and shakes himself off like a dog and the old man who's waiting for him for Spy Reasons is like dude your dick is just swinging in the wind

I believe Preferential Treatment by Heather Guerre, one of my favorite billionaire books, has a hero with a big hairy chest. He's also a Russian billionaire who pays the heroine, who works lower level shit in his company, to be his domme! And if you're asking "But Caro, does she use a vibrating butt plug on him?" The answer is I'd be mad if she didn't. You have to wait for it, but yes.

Pretty sure that the hero of Eva Leigh's A Rogue's Rules for Seduction is hairy. And big. And upset about his horrible past which is why he has to get down on his knees and eat the heroine out until said knees bleed on the cobblestones.

I believe the hero of S.M. LaViolette's The Bastard has a plot important beard at one point because he has some pretty bad Glasgow Grin scars. My poor baby John. But the heroine helps him heal, etc etc.

EDIT:

Oh, preorder The Wedding Witch by Erin Sterling! It was a 4.5/5 for me and the hero is so hairy that his family jokes about him being a werewolf (he's not he's a witch)

Matilda Halifax Learns the Value of Restraint by Alexandra Vasti has a hero whose virile beard makes him look Villainous.

[mugeesworld]

One Piece Fans Green & Red Flags!!

I seen someone do this on tiktok and thought I would do some of my takes😋 this is as a joke so don't take it to heart

Also these are HELLA specific so don't ask how I know I just do ok

Green

The one piece fans that are still in alabaster and instead of watching one piece they are scrolling on the tiktok # of it. +extra points if you're already doing fanart of them.

non binary luffy/chopper fans (quite silly people I enjoy your company. You probably have a saved collection of videos of cats with silly sounds. Don't lie to me ik you do)

Asexual Zoro and luffy fans

Platonic Nami and luffy shippers (ya know like brother sister dynamic)

Female plus size sanji fans (cough cough me. But I've seen all y'all out their. You freaky bitches)

Usopp fans (enough said)

People that love the usopp and Nami bestie duo.

Dadan fans (period)

People that make fanart of zoro and chopper being cute

People that draw robin with that one nose shape and also draw her like that one lady from criminal minds.

FROBIN SHIPPERS (RAHHHHH🔥🔥⁉️⁉️⁉️🗣️🗣️)

Trans men Franky fans (you started wearing button ups over t-shirts huh. Elite style and funny as hell)

Female Franky shippers (Bless y'all. Y'all my favs probably. Making the best edits I swear. Probably looking for a man's like Franky cause you kin robin)

LESBIAN NAMI FANS (PLEASE LOVE ME ALL Y'ALLS COSPLAYS BE EATING SO HARD BABES)

Nami x Vivi shippers (yeah😋)

Introverted female robin fans (hit my line)

Female buggy fans

Trans men zoro fans

FEMALE OR TRANS MASC WHITEBEARD STAN'S (very rare to come across. Y'all great but y'all need to heal your dad issues)

People that don't leave out Franky, jinbei, and brook in writing stuff

People that write for Franky in general.(he needs more love)

Marco simps (brave soliders right here. You really picked that mf? Yeah me you. IT'S ABOUT PERSONALITY OK???)

Sanji fans that actually find his training arc fun and not gross

Female Mihawk stans (naughty gal😼 you like them cold)

You know what?! Any trans masc one piece fan that picked a character and was like. Yep! He's literally me! Im literally him!

Jinbei fans (you guys are either sweethearts or middle school boys(the mean kind)

Brook fans that do fanart. (See cause y'all gonna eat every time)

Bon clay fans that actually like him and don't just make fun of him.

I forgot his name. Umm Coby? I think? Yeah Coby fans.

Rayleigh simps (insert sound *I'm so hungry I could eat at Arby's! She really is hungry!* Me too girl me too.)

Same for garp ^

The people that been making the shanks love actions edits 😋

People that make corecore/hopecore edits of one piece

Ik I've said it a bunch but the drawing community that has been carrying the one piece fandom on tiktok. (Ty for blessing us)

Plus size one piece fans +points if you cosplay

That hot old lady that took chopper in and the hot old lady with Rayleigh fans. (Those two would be such good friends and serve some major cunt. Drawers! Get to it you know what to do.)

Red

Sanji and zoro fans that ARE CONSTANTLY BICKERING IN COMMENT SECTIONS ABOUT POWER LEVELS AND BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH SHUT UP

People that feel the need to tell sanji fans about Fishman Island every chance they get as if other characters don't have their red flags. I said it.

That one person in every comment section with a luffy profile pics saying the most absolutely rude or embarrassing thing ever like "post the on IG reels" (you are immature and not in a good way like luffy)

Zoro fans that's also like Patrick Bateman for the wrong reason

"Yamato is a woman" ("we'll actually Oda said 🤓" EHHHHHHHH *family Feud buzzered noise.* GET OUT)

People that shit on the one piece live action cast. (specifically the ones complaining about nami and her sister. BOY I OTTA!)

People that talk shit about big mom just cause she fat. Like babes so is your mom....

People that still watch one piece and try to say how much they love it but are racist, homophobic, transphobic. When one of the biggest things for luffy is to not be judgemental. You are not him⁉️🗣️ you are a asssss

Akianu fans.

MOST black beard fans (I ain't forgiving no one for what he did to whitebeard I'm not hearing it)

"Zoro would kill the whole crew for luffy🤓" would you kill your whole friend group/family for your best friend/mom or dad..... I didn't think so.

People that hate on English dub watchers. I'm a slow reader y'all. Plus it's hella funny.

People that weren't at least a little mad about GARPS actions in marine ford.

Nami x luffy. Robin x Law. And robin x zoro shippers. Also Any gross illegal ones with gross age gaps.

Thats all I can think of right now!

[kaethefangirl]

I feel the need to yap about how much I fucking hate the new age of anime.

We used to get amazing plot lines and stories from authors who gave a fuck about their animes and actually put thought and time into making complex story webs that all come together and make sense at the end.

There was a time where we got anime's that had themes that made you sit and think, the type of shit that you have to sit and dwell on and it shapes your philosophy.

Philosophy is such a big part of anime, and maybe I'm biased because thats the field that I'm most interested in but you cannot tell me that Philisophy and good anime don't go hand in hand.

The time of good anime is over and I hate that, while there are some amazing modern anime's they just aren't as popular and get none of the recognition that they deserve.

Instead, we're getting the shitty isekais like "i got reincarnated as a.." and then its a old ass man in the body of a 14 year old surrounded by a harem of idiot airheaded girls who's only seperation and individuality is being "the big boobed one" or the one with the fat ass or the angry one.

Why are those animes getting the most popular you ask? The answer is quite simple. It's the 'people' you know and hate, the ones that ruined society, the one

the only...

MEN!!!!!!!

Men are the ones creating these dumbass animes for men. Men are also the ones assuming that women would only like to watch a romance anime, and while i can appreciate a good shojo, that's not the only thing I want to see. Fullmetal Alchemist is actually brilliant and I'll never stop praising it as one of if not the only shonen that hasn't a drop of fan service and gets straight to the point. Not a single weird ass beach episode where the female love interest has to wear a stupidly revealing bikini, no filler, and most importantly its written by a WOMAN!

Oh! Oh! I have an idea, what if we left deciding what women want to see to the actual fucking women. Men really just sat up in the writing studio and said, "For us, let's make an epic ass anime. I'm talking naruto, bleach, fairy tail!"

"What about the girls?"

"Oh.. them. Uh.. give em highschool boys or somethin'."

I fucking love certain romance animes, *cough* the ones that are written by women *cough* but that doesn't mean I don't ADORE a good shonen.

Bleach and Fairytail are my personal favorite shonens but the turn off was all the fan service, I can't even watch it around anyone because as soon as they walk in its like one of the girls is smothering a dude in her tits. I wanted to show my little brothers fairy tail like my sister did me but I had to turn it off quick as hell. Same goes for Bleach, the story line is amazing and Rukia made me think "oh hey, maybe it wont be so much fan service" then we got Orihime. And I'm gonna make a seperate post for how much I hate how women are depicted in anime. DONT GET ME FUCKING STARTED ON SEVEN DEADLY SINS EITHER-

The bottom line is, the anime's that are written by women might not be the most popular, but they're usually the best animes out there in their respective genres. Fullmetal Alchemist, Fruit's Basket, Ranma 1/2, and Kamisama Kiss are all examples of how amazing female writing has shaped the world of shojo and how good female writing is compared to shows written by men.

Also anime has so much misogyny ingrained into it its insane. The whole "traditional woman" thing probably either stems from or is fueled by the fact that in almost every major shonen, the male mc ends up with an airheaded woman with little to no personality. The girl's personality is just being the love interest of the mc. "I.. believe in you!" and thats it, no development, not jack shit.

Also women's taste in anime is better than men's, I rest my case. And this is all me generalizing things down to the statistics of men and women. If you're a guy and you don't think like this then that's actually amazing for you but that just means I'm not talking about you. On the other hand if you are a consumer of one of the weird shitty harem animes then I'm wishing nothing but the worst on you!

OH AND WOMEN = identify as a woman

MEN = identify as a man

[songliili]

writing patterns!!

tagged by @father-salmon, merci mon coeur!

rules: list the first line(s) of your last 10 posted fics and see if there's a pattern!

i don't even have 10 fics posted, literally. i'm gonna take two from my wips cause one of the posted is a collection of drabbles and i don't think that qualifies.

from oldest to newest, let's go.

you should floss more | T, Castiel/Dean Winchester, 15k

The thing is. Dean Winchester is not a teenager who doesn’t know how to act in front of hot people. He’s 32 and his reputation as a player says otherwise. He’s pretty smooth (most of the time), it comes with knowing his charming points and having no qualms in using them with women and men alike. In his younger years he liked to say he had a big heart and his mission was to give some love to as many people as possible. But once his 30s approached he started thinking it was time to settle down and he slowly stopped picking up people at dive bars, much to Sam’s relief.

You're a witch, Dean-o! | T, Castiel/Dean Winchester, 7k

When Dean is 25, a couple of things happen. The first one is, obviously, his birthday party: a full blown party organized by Mary and Ellen at the Roadhouse. The whole family is there and they have the time of their life. Dean even manages to convince Lisa to go home with him, which he's got nothing to complain about.

the great dean court off | M, Castiel/Dean Winchester, 21.5k

Of all the things Dean Wichester expected to find when he came back from the bathroom break, a folded piece of paper with ‘hey, if you’re not gay, my friend thinks you’re cute. here’s her number 316-557-9608 (and if you’re gay, here’s mine 316-997-2018)’ written on, was not it. Hell, he almost expected to not find his laptop.

I Had Some Time (With You) | E, Castiel/Dean Winchester, 23.9k

It's 2005 when things go to hell. Well. They go to hell for everyone except Dean, ‘cause he was ready for it. You see, Dean Winchester is a grumpy 36 year old paranoid bastard who spent a) the first 27 years of his life keeping up with his doomsday prepper of a father, until the bastard kicked the bucket in ‘96; b) his whole adult life running Chitaqua’s Survival Camp, that his father had started; and c) the last five years building the perfect apocalypse bunker in one of the cabins of said camp.

we all have a hunger | E, Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, 22.9k

Alex Claremont-Diaz, for all intents and purposes, is a smart person. He aced high school, he aced college, and he aced law school. He knows he is smart, and if that wasn’t enough, Nora once confirmed it. Sure, she also said that he’s just as dumb when it comes to, y’know, being perceptive, but beggars can’t be choosers; and actually, that doesn’t count because Nora was just getting back at Alex for not realizing she was dating his sister and they weren’t just best friends.

Fill My Stocking | E, Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, 22.9k

It’s silly, Henry thinks, that Alex is convinced of not being an open book for him by now. They’ve been together for three years, four if you count the one they spent as long distance friends with benefits, and Henry knows him and his tells pretty extensively. Alex’s media face might be blank and unknowable for other people, but not for Henry, who knows him and all his facets.

we started at the end | E, Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, ???

Henry’s alarm rings, as expected, at 8am on December 21st and, as usual, Henry blindly reaches for his phone to turn it off and then roll back to sleep, until his next alarm in ten minutes. Though, this time, there is a difference in his morning routine.

your body is the Sistine Chapel |  T, Castiel/Dean Winchester, 3.7k

The first tattoo Dean Winchester gets is an ugly stick-and-poke with one of his 'friends' from the school he's been at for two months. They're sixteen and Ryan has an uncle with a tattoo shop, so he steals some ink, a couple of needles, and they spend the afternoon hiding behind the school gym giving each other shitty tattoos.

bro, you're fucking hung! | E, Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, 3k

n💖💜💙 @hollerinn514 · Jan 20 oh my fucking god alex and henry are having an argument on who would top if they were a couple i shit you not alex just said “i think my dick is bigger so i'd top” i just know henry's face went fire engine red

can i ask you a question? | ??? (it's probably gonna be E, let's be honest), Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, ???

“Henry!” Henry’s head shoots up as he hears his name in Bea’s melodic voice, and smiles, closing the distance between him and his older sister. 

alright this is all i have. you can clearly see that the first four had a thing going on and it was fully intentional. i think i realised when i was writing You're a witch, Dean-o! then idk, i think i just didn't remember. i would've kept it up if i did, i would've found a way to make things work in the new fics as well. but it is what it is. maybe i'll go back to it one day!

---

no pressure random tags: @leojfitz @happiness-of-the-pursuit @read-and-write- @gayrootvegetable @littlemisskittentoes @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @firenati0n @nocoastposts @wordsofhoneydew @cactusdragon517 @rockyroadkylers @kiwiana-writes @user-anakin @inexplicablymine @anincompletelist and whoever else wants to play this game!!

[toomuchracket]

mads how’d you think d word matty would react to a family member in girlie’s family not liking their relationship together?

oh i'm imagining like you going for a girly day out with your mum and maybe a couple of aunts and cousins and whatnot, and one of them is quite outspoken and has the tendency to be a bit of a bitch - she's like "your mum told me you're seeing someone from work. in a band?", and you go all lovesick and blushy like you always do when someone mentions matty and say "yeah, i am. it's going well. we really like each other". and your aunt is like "how old is he?", and then when you tell her she's like "oh no, absolutely not". you're like "um what? why?", and she's quite patronising like "well you're only a baby. what could you possibly know about men? or about anything, really. no, you need someone your own age - this boyfriend you have now will inevitably dump you when the cluelessness stops being cute, or when he decides (as he should, at his age) to settle down and you're not ready. no, i don't like him for you. actually, i could set you up with-". at that point, your mum interrupts because she sees you getting upset like "that's enough. she's happy with him, he's happy with her, and he's lovely. let's change the subject now" (because, as we know, your parents really like matty).

anyway, the rest of the afternoon passes without incident. when you're on the train with your mum afterwards, she's like "don't let her get to you, honey" and you - lowkey seething about the whole thing now - say "easier said than done, mum"; your mum hugs you like "i know, i know. she was cruel". you're still seething when you get off the train - although you do laugh at the sight of matty and your dad in your dad's car, so engrossed in the football on the radio that they both jump in fright when you open the car door with a "hi!". once you climb in behind matty, he turns in his seat and leans past the headrest to kiss you sweetly like "hi, sweetheart. how was it?", and all you can do is sigh. your dad's like "oh dear. what was it with your aunt today?", and your mum says "disapproves of our daughter's relationship" - matty's aghast like "what?!", while your dad's like "oh, standard for her. what was her reasoning?", and you say "age gap, because i'm a clueless baby who knows nothing about men or the world, and i will inevitably be dumped when matty stops finding that cute or when he decides to settle down lol". matty's like "WHAT?! you're smarter than i am! and we LIVE together. that's settling down!", and you're like "yep, and mum said that we were happy and you're lovely, and she still wasn't convinced"; matty looks at your mum like "you really think that about me? awww. thanks", and she's like "of course,we love you!" while your dad ruffles matty's hair (lol) like "wouldn't worry about my sister-in-law's opinion, son, she still disapproves of me after all these decades". matty's like "really? why?", and you laugh like "oh you're about to hear family secrets. you genuinely can't leave me now, babe, or i'll have to kill you" - matty reaches his hand back behind the headrest for you to take and says "never gonna happen, sweetheart. you're stuck with me forever, i'm afraid. stuff what your aunt thinks lmao". but yeah, you go back to you and matty's and have a lovely dinner with your parents, and matty's very like "fuck her. let's continue to prove her wrong" about your aunt disapproving. cute! <3

[https-chaos]

I just got into a huge fight with my mom because she's pushing the hell out of me to bring her to pride and there are so many reasons I will not be doing that but it really boils down to 4 things:

1. Pride isn't safe this year. It's an anti-cop protest at its core, and it's in a big city in a year where there's a lot of hate and violence against the queer community. Not only do I not want my family to be unsafe in the case of violence from extremists or police, but I don't think people who don't believe in ACAB should go to an anti-police protest. She has a few local cop friends and genuinely believes all police want is to help people because those 3 small town cops in their 50s don't seem THAT racist or homophobic.

2. She makes a lot of lowkey homophobic comments along the lines of "I don't hate gay people at all, I just don't want to see them kiss. But I don't want to see straight people kiss either!" But she only brings it up when she sees a gay couple kiss. Never when there's a 3 minute straight sex scene in a movie, only when there's a 30 second gay kiss. She has also told me about a hundred times that she "could see me marrying a man one day" because she thinks if I find a feminine enough man I'll stop being a lesbian. Specifically I believe her ideal situation for me would be a lavender marriage with a gay man. You know, like it's the 60s? She also has an incredibly childish outlook on life and often quotes Horton hears a who and says "a person is a person" but her actions don't back up that innocent facade at all.

3. I don't think she would be able to keep her mouth shut about the kink, leather, men in thongs, people kissing and groping, people on leashes, people in fur suits, etc. When I brought this up she literally said it was just like Mardi Gras; she doesn't approve of people taking their shirts off and she thinks anyone who does anything she considers 'weird' is asking to be gawked at. She said if she saw a man in a thong she would go 😧, like she made that exact face. When I told her she can't do that because if a man wears a thong to pride he's looking for attention from other gay men, not shock from 55 year old straight women, she said I was too naive to understand. I told her that not only can she not make a face, a side eye, or a comment to anything she sees at pride, but that she also couldn't talk about it on the way home, at home, or ever. If you go to pride you know what you're gonna see and I don't wanna hear her disgust.

4. Even if she could keep her mouth shut about the kink, and she for some reason wanted to go somewhere that would make her uncomfortable on purpose, I don't understand why she would want to go with me when I was very clear that I will be talking to women, going to a lesbian bar after, and might even (gasp) kiss someone I don't know. I told her she wouldn't have taken my grandma to a bar while she looked for a boyfriend, because having your mother with you is kind of a deterrent to talking to people your own age. By my age she was married with a kid. I have no local friends, at all, and I would like to change that at pride. Going to the parade, standing silently to watch with my mom, not acting proud at all for fear of being shamed by her, and then immediately going home isn't going to help me make queer friends.

I guess I don't really have a specific point to all of this, I'm just so confused about why she is so desperate for me to never be in a situation where I might make a friend or even meet someone I could love. I live in her house. She sees how desperately lonely I am. She sees how badly I want to have a friend, or a girlfriend, or literally anyone except her and my sister and my dad. I don't understand why she takes every opportunity to preach her weird childish nonsense. Everyone should just hold hands and love each other, love is love, a person's a person, but please don't talk about politics or anything scary or negative because she can't take it. I don't understand her aversion to pda and I don't understand why she feels the need to pester me about it. I don't understand what she doesn't understand about the fact that I grew up terrified to tell her anything, to the point where she thinks I had an incredibly happy childhood. I can't afford to leave this house, and how does she not realize that if she had given me the support I needed in school and allowed me to be medicated maybe I could have gone to college and made something of myself? How does she think none of this is her fault? I'm going to be 27 in a couple days and between her and the man that beat my confidence into the ground for the last five years, I'm almost too traumatized to even leave the house. I don't know what to tell her that'll get it into her head that her barely adequate tolerance of my lesbianism doesn't automatically mean I want her at pride.

[pixyys]

At this point, I'm just used to your jokes now. Still doesn't mean that I cringe whenever I hear them /j

Indeed, I suppose I could become novice musicians along with Lippmann. Do you want to join us? It might even be cheap because of a two-in-one deal. I'll keep on learning the piano while you two can learn the violin. Maybe learn some musician pickup lines to impress Lippmann later on.

And for the Chopin? I thought about it again, but I think that it isn't considered sacrilegious. It still sounds nice afterall, and I'm pretty sure Chopin wouldn't mind. But I prefer the piano version as it sounds more clear.

Please don't give your jokes to Lippmann or anybody else. I can put up with it as I'm your brother, but other people will simply die of the cringiness of your corny jokes lmaoo /j. And afterwards I'll actually decapacitate myself because of the amount of terrible jokes I've had to hear. Pianoman don't you dare xD

An old couple, you say? Well, I don't know how to feel about that; we aren't even together. I convinced Silver to finally take a nap, but she just couldn't sleep. So in the end I had to literally hug her and stroke her hair to help her fall asleep... my heart has never pounded so quickly and loudly before.

Oh, my dear sister, how you make me laugh. I just wonder how you haven't thought up of such an easy reply, but I guess I am a genius. And do not worry, your secret is safe with me, because I definitely do not want to be strangled by those wires while being bombarded with your corny jokes.

Really? Is that what you know him for? Well, that Dazai definitely is cunning and mischievous. I'd have you know that he went head-to-head with Iceman, and Iceman even failed to assassinate him, so he isn't a 'poor guy'. And please don't try your jokes on him. He'd quite frankly punch you.

-🎹

P.S. At least you think so? Well, pray tell, what happens in those 'romance novels' that you read? And as for the date? I think it's still too early... however I think I know what Silver feels for me

ahh this is exactly why i love you <3 finee, i'll tone it down with the "cringy" jokes, at least in your presence.

see? i was right when i said you should change your name to "genius man." do you need to ask? i'm definitely down for it. finally, i'll get another chance. this time with the musician pickup lines. there's really no going back if i mess up again. i just hope i won't embarrass myself in either that or my violin learning process. thanks, genius man!

hm. by the way, do you think lippmann is "lippmann" because he has pretty-looking lips? /lmaoooo plss im cryinf asdfjkl anyway-

ooh, i'm glad it isn't some form of artistic sacrilege. i sometimes listen to orchestra performances, but you're right. having a single musical instrument-say, a piano- dedicated to a single piece will make the performance much clearer.

ha! bet! maybe i'll start saying it to someone i probably won't meet again. like the barista i buy my morning coffee from! or the newspaper guy, or the old lady walking her dog down the street-okay that may be a bit too cruel. i'll probably still say one or two things to the men you stationed near our house though. to alleviate their stress and tension for a bit./lmao the saga continues

you.. you what?? brother, you don't even hold me and stroke my hair to sleep when we were toddlers. i think i'm missing something. oooh boy, when's the wedding day? i can't wait to be an aunt. i wonder if it's gonna be a boy? or a girl? or twins! everyone should be invited. we'll have the grandest celebration ever.

aww this is why i love youu (2nd edition). seriously though. err, does this 'nakahara chuuya' has bright orange hair and uh, quite petite in stature? i bumped into him when i was on my way to see you, and he looked quite.. severe. my tongue just acted on its own, and that "axolotl joke" came out. he did give me a nasty sting eye, but i didn't get punched! i guess that's a good thing..? ahaha..

p.s. you know of her feelings?? excellent. this is all according to plan. i'm just a little worried a possible misunderstanding might breach you apart, though. you know, what if she thinks you're feeling attraction to someone else after you asked her about that "crush"? that sounds like a recipe for disaster.

[blissfullybloomed]

Yeah, it's been a while, but today felt like the right day to write again. I missed it. 

So let's get all the updates out of the way since my last post(Dec 2023). Oh man…it's a lot. 

I spent New Years with my boyfriend(yeah we're still a thing), and his best friend. Had to go home early though…cause like…im old, and we work in the mornings. 

February I picked up a few extra gig jobs to pay off school. I delivered for Instacart, Spark, Shipt, and Amazon Flex. While working two other jobs. I had to pay it off and I was tired of waiting for money to just appear….cause that's totally not a thing. 

March was my man's birthday! The first one I got to spend with him. Gifts that I got him don't matter…like i'm not gonna sit here and list them off…just his face was all i needed. That look of just you didn't have to do that..but he was glad I did. 

I started therapy to heal from a relationship with a family member that I actually never really understood until very recently. I'm learning that , in the words of Taylor Swift, “Hi, it's me , I'm the problem”- I know that now. I know a lot now actually. 

Started reading a book that has helped immensely with my healing as well. I won't mention the title in this blog as it's specific to one person in my life…but I will say this: No one is perfect, no matter the title they hold in your life. Additionally titles don't mean shit. We're all human and that's the only title I care about…unless you're an alien…then like, can we be friends. 

The Medical Board of Ohio gave me my massage license, and I have signed a lease for my own business and actually have two clients ( sister and friend.) Yeah…Blissfully Bloomed is actually a real , tangible thing now. 

I moved in with my boyfriend. Yup, the WHOLE sentence! It's been about 3 weeks , and let's just say we are slowly adjusting to the new. The animals are a little testy, but we love them all.Spray bottles are in every room now. LOL!  He has been incredible throughout the entire process. I even know how to plug my tire now. He is patient, and kind. Even on days…i don't want to be human…he is still right there. I will tell you this- I never knew love could feel this deep…this solid…this safe. He truly is the person I was supposed to find. Someone in my life once told me a long time ago,  “he has brought back what the locust stole”- When it was told to me the first time it didn't make sense, and in hindsight…I know why it didn't make sense. Now…I understand the phrase…I understand what a healthy and honest relationship looks like. I understand that MEN operate completely differently when they too feel safe and understood.  I love you like crazy baby. 

I started a solid vitamin regimen…and boy oh boy has it helped immensely. My anxiety only peaks during stress, and unknown areas of my life now. It's not at the forefront anymore. Vitamins, therapy, massage, counseling, coloring, legoing, and being surrounded by motivated individuals who only want to better themselves have been the key to my success. Sure I have days just like everyone else where I just don't wanna. But as my boyfriend says”it's allowed, just have to find a balance”- So i'm working on it…BUT vitamins are so good! 

So I think that covers it for the updates…Lets chat about whats to come! 

Moving through all of the above has required high energy and focus to obtain a goal. The focus was definitely fueled by my sister jessica. My sister was the entire inspiration to become a Massage Therapist. What's crazy…I had a client last week…she was a nurse at Nationwide in the pediatric unit….I think she would have worked with Jess at some point, and she was on MY table. Small world sometimes ya know. 

Massage gave me my heart back and I've said that since school…you can't be heartless and be a massage therapist. It's impossible. We comfort through the power of touch. We calm anxiety, recirculate blood to all the necessary parts of your body, we hold space for others to relax. Coming from someone that was very very selfish in her past life…to be able to have people on my table is a gift I will always attribute to my sister Jess. Man do I miss her. What I wouldn't give to wheel her into my massage studio and give her some relaxation for a brief moment. She showed me native american flute music too. I love ya sis. We all do. You can come visit me anytime anywhere. I love you. 

Okay well, on that note…I'm crying. So I think it's a good time to get ready for the day. I have three clients. One of which lost their mother last week. Like I said, massage is so powerful. It truly brings joy and I am able to give joy to others now. What an absolute gift. 

Thanks for listening to my ted talk- see ya on the flippity flip! 

[queenofhearts7378]

Reasons why I love The Other Woman completely and with my whole heart based only on the quotes

"I need to go to brain camp [....] like you go lay on a beach and get tan and drink gingko balboa all day and you come back and you're super smart." "It's gingko biloba. Balboa was Rocky." "..........Right. See? See? That's why I need to go to brain camp."

"I don't see why you work so hard. The best part of being pretty is you don't have to. You don't see me walking around worrying about my job do you? 💅"

"You wrecked two marriges!" "First of all one of them was mine so it doesn't count."

"I'm not equipped to go on dates! Last time I went on dates I was 24 and the dating pool was everyone! Now it's like a shallow puddle of age appropriate men who are old and gross and I don't want to do that!"

"If I let you in we are NOT braiding each other's hair and drinking cosmos alright?" *gets drunk and braids each others hair*

"I am not situated. I can't even remember to shave my legs. I need like, a week of prep minimum."

"I am like Martha Stewart, but with like....big underpants."

"I can't believe I'm in the mistress' closet." "I'm not a mistress. A mistress knows she's dating a married man. I didn't know, so I'm not a mistress. Can you say that please?"

*pulls out a box of lingerie* "This looks like a box of bungee cords."

"I told you to get your ducks in a row. This? This is not getting your ducks in a row. This is putting your ducks in a woodchipper."

"I bet your dad is hot." "Alright you and your vagina need to *claps hands*"

"Okay if you killed him; don't tell me. I can't defend you if I know you did it."

"Today is a light recon day." "A grappling hook? Really?!?!"

"I lost my shit because I was a mistress virgin and you were my first one. Now I'm all worn in like an old glove."

"It's like a mid life crisis mistress! She's a cliche version of every wife's waking nightmare!"

"I really thought we were soulmates 😔 Oh my god I am so sorry, I can't believe I just said that. You're his soul mate I'm a whore!"

"You smell amazing! What is that?" "I think it's just sweat."

*Talking about his other mistress* "Can we keep her?" "No we can't keep her, we already have a dog at home."

"I think it's good that she's super hot. I feel like it brings up our group average." "This isn't frickin' Sister Wives honey."

"If we find any more mistresses I'm gonna have to send her to rehab."

"You're talking about maximum pain, right?" "We should kick him in the balls!" "....You know that's a really good thought, and I like the way your brain works. But we're thinking about something a little bigger than that."

"When you put the lawyer, the wife, and the boobs together, you've got the perfect killing machine."

"What happened to you?" "I had a fecal incident. And the only person who didn't try to rob me was a hipster."

"Stop frowning before you break you face." *smiles a big smile* "Better?" "I don't know. That's the Evil Genius smile, is someone about to get screwed?" "You screw me, I screw you back. I'm a lady like that."

"I have a friend who could do it!" "No. No no no. We are not gonna hire a hooker to sleep with my husband." "She's not a hooker, shes just a slut."

*laying on the floor in a wedding dress and holding a can of whipped and a bottle vodka* "I think I'm having a nervous breakdown."

"I can't join a gang! I don't know how to make shanks! I have soft hands and a small mouth, I will be the bottom!"

"I swear to God, every time I look into another pair of binoculars this guy has another mistress."

"My wife's not some criminal mastermind! SHE NEEDS FREAKIN BRAIN CAMP!"

"Even though it brought us together, let's never sleep with the same guy again."