#like my shit WOULD act up day before this stupid holiday...

[maxellminidisc]

Pray for me fellow ibs warriors, I'm getting my ass beat today

[nicoscheer]

Ending it with Miles 😭🫶🏽🥹 we’re gonna cry so bad.

But also I love this so much cause like obviously the band and the management heard all the hateful ‘fans’ back when they had to cancel Marlay Park because Alex dared to get laryngitis and this; giving them not only one but 3/4 shows with Miles and an access code is so hilarious to me cause like yeah you very fuckin nasty and disgusting but here ya go ya lil shits now what do you say (pretty please) like this makes all those haters look sooo incredibly dumb and childish (like no patience at all obviously they need time to schedule and arrange all the venues and what not, like have some faith in them just lean back and trust) anyways long story short love this move

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I’m having a mental breakdown

Miles via email

[kawaiianimeredhead]

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[amourane]

hate the way you smile

pairing: theodore nott x fem!reader

genre: fluff, angst, comedy, e2l + childhood enemies??

w/c: 4.7k

summary: from the second you met theodore nott you knew that your life would be torturous and that the boy would never leave you alone but maybe forever isn't so bad with theodore nott.

warnings: none just a lot of bickering

a/n: omg this one is a bit long but i finished it!

From the moment that you met Theodore Nott at the bright age of five you knew you would hate him forever. Maybe it was the way he would sneer at you with distaste or the way he would mock you for being a big crybaby whenever he took your toys. All you knew was that you simply loathed his presence.

Your families had been friends and they had initially thought that you and Theo would get along since you were both the same age. What they didn’t expect was the young boy to rip the heads of your dolls and proceed to mock you for crying your heart out. Yet even with all of your constant bickering your families still met up every holiday, bringing the demon child with them to torment your life.

Since that day your childhood was filled with cruel laughter and the mischievous eyes that would watch wherever you went.  At age seven, Theodore Nott found it appropriate to fill your bathtub with toads causing you to shriek out in terror when you opened the bathroom door, and him, to run away with glee at your horrified face. At age nine, he thought it would’ve been funny to surprise you by dumping a bucket load of pumpkin juice all over you and he cackled at your expected screams of anger. What he didn’t expect was for you to retaliate by smashing a tray of cauldron cakes into his face. 

Needless to say the war between you two started way back then and it had continued, the only difference being that now you both were more mature and civilised and there was no room for childish pranks.

“Suck my cock you mangled prat, I hope you trip and fall to your death you insignificant shit goblin!” 

At least so you thought.

You made a move and lunged for Theodore Nott’s throat as anger flared in your eyes. No one paid mind to the scene that was unfolding before them afterall it was a common occurrence for the last six years. 

“You enchanted my hair green!” You shrieked as you shook the brunette violently. “Are you out of your mind Nott? I thought we agreed we wouldn’t mess with each other’s appearances, what happened to that?” 

Theodore simply smirked and you felt your fury bubble inside you. He tilted his head to the right and acted as if he was actually pondering your question. If you could you would have been breathing flames as you felt yourself grow more livid as every second went by. 

“Hmm…I like your hair L/n, really suits the whole vibe you’re going for, don't you think bella?” Theo flashed you a wicked grin as he reached out to twirl a lock of your hair between his fingers. You slapped his hand away.

“And what vibe am I going for Nott? Please enlighten me since you apparently are the one making decisions for me.”

You should’ve just walked away. You really should’ve just cursed him out and gone to Madam Pomfrey for some sort of remedy instead of staying and entertaining whatever shit-faced idea he had come up with. The moment you saw the smug smirk that spread across his face and the dangerous twinkle in his eyes you knew he was going to spew some absolute bullshit. And you were right.

“Well obviously it’s a statement declaring that you’re mine, why else would you dye your hair to match my house?” The Slythering feigned disbelief, clutching his hands to his chest innocently. “But Salazar, I didn’t know you would be so bold about your feelings towards me bella.”

You felt heat rise and settle on your cheeks as you tried to come up with a colourful comeback to wipe the stupid smirk off his face but the words die in your throat. It was against your will but you could feel your face growing hotter as he continued to stare at you with that flirty glint in his eyes. Your brain spluttered to a stop and you scrambled desperately for something to say.

“Fuck you Nott.” You seethed before storming away with your hands balled into fists. You could hear the whispers of students and you could feel their stares as you stomped to the infirmary, determined to find some way to get your hair back to normal. 

Theodore Nott was the biggest pain in the arse you knew and he had never stopped being one. You still remembered when you had received your letter to Hogwarts and he had scoffed at the sight asking why Hogwarts would want a half-wit like you. Needless to say your parents weren’t surprised at the cries that erupted a second later from both you and him.

Throughout your years the two of you had become known for the obvious tension and pure hatred you harboured for each other though it did seem to lean on your side a bit more than it did to his. It had been the same for the first three years, bickering, pranks and whatnot. Then fourth year came and the scrawny boy you once knew had magically grown much taller and his face had lost a lot of the baby fat it once had. All at once Theodore Nott became one of the most sought after boys in Hogwarts and it only made you loathe him more. It made his ego triple in size and it made him much more flirty towards everyone but you seemed to be his number one target. All you wanted to do was to take your wand and puncture that bloated head of his.

Though his appearance changed he still was the boy you knew since you were a child and whenever he smiled you could see the same boyish grin he had way back when he was five. He had always been the same but now he just had a much more pretty face to disguise the fact he was a blithering idiot.

Theo watched as you stormed off, his smile never once leaving his face. He loved to mess with you purely to see the visceral anger that radiated off you every single time. The way you would try to stare him down but the action proved useless as he was much taller allowing him to simply look down smugly. It amused him to see how your reactions never changed. 

Ever since you were five you held the same expressions: whenever you were mildly irritated by him you would chew on your bottom lip, whenever you were pissed your eyes would double in size and you’d look like a fire-breathing dragon, and whenever he made you upset you would stare blankly without a word. He’d only ever made you truly upset once and when seeing your face he knew he would never do it again because even if the two of you bickered and fought he would never hurt you.

“Sometimes I think you’re secretly dating because you should see the way you’re daydreaming hopelessly while staring at L/n’s retreating figure Nott, you look like a bloody imbecile.” Draco slapped Theo’s back startling him out of his own thoughts. He scoffed after realising what his friend was implying.

“Oh Salazar’s balls I think I’m going to regurgitate my breakfast. You’ve gone insane if you even think for a second there’s a chance I fancy that creature.”

Laughter erupted from his friends and they continued to mock and tease him obviously not being mature enough to handle the situation with grace.

“I would rather shag the giant squid than date L/n and I’m sure the feeling is mutual.”

Mattheo hummed to himself and smirked. He placed his arm on Theo’s shoulder. “Well then can I ask her out? She’s real hot and I think she’d be interested.”

“L/n might be stupid Riddle but she wouldn’t ever go out with you or even give you the time of day. So don’t even think about doing it.” And with that he left and his friends exchanged knowing glances before bursting into another fit of laughter at their friend’s own obliviousness.

//

This was so not your day. 

Never in your life had you forgotten to hand in homework yet one silly slip up had cost you to spend your free afternoon in detention. It wasn’t your fault you had mixed up the dates on when the transfiguration homework was due. 

You begrudgingly opened the classroom doors, finding a seat to sit down for the next hour. At least you were able to catch up on some other classes while you were in detention otherwise you thought you would’ve gone mad. You looked around the classroom save for Professor McGonagall who had already greeted you when you walked in there was no one else there. 

It hadn’t even been a minute when the doors burst open to reveal a very tall and very smug Slytherin.

“Mr Nott, glad for you to join us, find a seat please.”

Theo's grin faltered as his eyes locked onto yours, a flicker of confusion dancing across his features before it was swiftly replaced by his trademark smirk. He made his way toward you, closing the distance until there were mere centimetres separating you from him.

“Now L/n, Nott, I have important business to tend to so I assume the both of you are mature enough to sit through this detention. I hope that I don’t hear about any incidents when I am gone.”

It was as if your nightmare had all of a sudden come to life as you watched McGonagall leave the classroom. You tried to protest but it fell upon deaf ears as the professor had already left the room, leaving you stuck with your nemesis.

You whipped your head to face the brunette, irritation flashing in your eyes. Why had he chosen to sit next to you when there were plenty of other seats available? The classroom was far from crowded, yet here he was, invading your personal space with his mere presence

“Why are you sitting next to me Nott?”

“Why can’t I? Do you happen to own every seat in this classroom?” He teased. “I didn’t think you did, so I’m going to sit where I want.”

You grumbled under your breath at his stubbornness, getting up to pack your things. “Fine, but then I’m moving.”

Before you could make your move, Theo reached out and grabbed your arm. “Hey slow down, I have a perfect seat right here.” Your irritation flared at his audacity, and you shot him a scathing glare as he gestured to his lap with a smug smirk. “Why don’t you-”

“Nott, if you seriously propose that I sit in your lap I will hex you to oblivion.”

“Okay!” Theo held his hands up in mock surrender, his expression feigning innocence as he cocked his head to the side, the smirk never once leaving his face. “Stay here, I won’t bother you, I swear.”

You eyed him cautiously, your scepticism evident. You weighed the options before you reluctantly sat back down. “Fine.”

A quiet hush befell the classroom and all that could be heard was the scratching of quills on parchment. That is until you were interrupted by a persistent poking sensation that disrupted your concentration, each jab of the quill more annoying than the last. You clenched your jaw as you tried to ignore Theo but you knew he wouldn’t stop until you gave him attention and there was no way you were giving him the satisfaction of reacting. So he continued to poke and poke and poke. 

His incessant poking finally pushed you over the edge, prompting a sharp hiss of irritation from your lips. "What?" You snapped, unable to contain your frustration any longer.

“What are you doing here?” 

If there was a competition for incompetence Theodore Nott would sure have won first place.

“Detention obviously.”

“Oh you know what I meant, why are you in detention? Did you do something stupid? Wait, you do that all the time I forgot.” You rolled your eyes, resisting the urge to roll them right out of your skull. "Tell me, bella," He continued, his voice laced with faux innocence. "I don't bite."

“Forgot my homework.” You reluctantly mumbled under your breath, feeling all too claustrophobic at how close he was to you. “Not that big of a deal.”

“Oh but it is.”

“What does that even mean, Nott?” Your eyes narrowed. Theo’s face twisted into a playful smirk and he was so close that you could practically hear his heart beating.

He chuckled, undeterred by your hostility. "But it's not like you to forget your homework," He teased, leaning in closer. "There must be something distracting you. Perhaps... thoughts of me?"

As if on instinct your hands reached out to push the unbearable boy away from you and you immediately got up at his incredulous words. You saw the way laughter bubbled and slipped from his lips, mocking you which only added more fuel to the evergrowing fire.

"In your dreams, Nott," You retorted, your voice laced with venom as you rose from your seat, your movements quick and determined. "I would sooner volunteer for a Dementor's kiss than waste a single thought on you."

Theo’s smirk only widened and his eyes gleamed with mischief. "Oh, believe me, the feeling is mutual," He quipped, his voice dripping with amusement as he rested his chin on his palms, his gaze never wavering from yours.

You huffed out an angry breath before picking your stuff up and stalking to the opposite end of the classroom. Luckily, he didn’t follow and you were left in peace for the rest of the detention.

//

It had been a week and a half since your detention yet Theodore Nott hadn’t approached you once since. In fact, you hadn’t seen him around school a lot, not that you were paying attention of course. It was just weird. Usually his face would pop up in front of you multiple times a day yet he was nowhere to be found. You had even lingered around the Slytherin table at lunch to see if he would show up but he never did. 

There was this sick feeling in the pit of your stomach. Even though you did despise Theo you had known him since he was a kid and he never was one to skip lessons much less disappear for over a week. Even his Slytherin friends didn’t know where he went.

That is until today. The moment you had walked into the dungeons ready for your Potions lesson you spotted him. There was a part of you that hoped you would see him today, after all he was your Potions partner. But there was something wrong. His face looked gaunt, pale, sapped of life and his eyes were merely blank as he sat unmoving. His usual demeanour was replaced with one of hollow emptiness.

“Where have you been Nott?” No response. You frowned as you looked at him, he seemed to not even hear you. “Nott? Have you suddenly become deaf?”

“It’s none of your business.” He snapped voice obviously laced with malice as the words cut through the air. The sharpness of his tone caught you off guard, a twinge of hurt gnawing at the edges of your consciousness despite the fact you both had said worse to each other.

You chose to ignore the fact that Theo was obviously in a sour mood and sat down beside him, unpacking your things. There was nothing special about the lesson, nothing that you needed to particularly pay attention to. Not that you did since you were too focused on trying to figure out what was wrong with your partner. Theo didn’t look okay, not in the slightest. He seemed exhausted and his sluggish movements proved you correct as he diced the various ingredients. 

You were in the middle of stirring the cauldron when Theo dropped a dandelion root in the mixture causing it to bubble and spit. The concoction spilled onto your hand and you shrieked at the sudden burning sensation that seemed to consume your hand in flames. The sensation is unbearable, a sharp, burning agony that seems to penetrate deep into your very bones. By now the whole class had stopped to look at you not fully registering what had happened. You turned to Theo, tears threatening to fall from your eyes at the pain but he stood there frozen, an expression you couldn’t decipher on his face.

“Theo-”

"Fucking hell, L/n." He spat, his voice dripping with disdain. "Would it kill you to not be such a clumsy moron? You could've hurt me as well. How can you even call yourself a witch?"

His words were sharp and spiteful. Through the many years of knowing Theodore Nott he had never blamed you for something he did. He might have been an incorrigible prick but he would still apologise if he had ever hurt you genuinely. But as you looked at him you couldn’t recognise the cold harsh look he gave you and you bit back your tears. You wouldn’t cry in front of him. 

Despite the fact your hand was in pain you felt something tighten around your chest and it made the air around you feel thick as if you couldn’t breathe. You stood up angrily, opening your mouth to snap back but your vision starts to fade, black spots invade your senses and that was the last thing you remember before you tumbled to the floor.

You woke up a few hours later as you felt the sun shine on your face. You blinked, disorientated, as you tried to get used to your surroundings. The familiar walls of the infirmary materialised and you felt some ease at knowing where you were. Confusion still gnawed at your mind as you struggled to piece together what had happened. How had you ended up in the infirmary? And why did everything feel so hazy, as if viewed through a foggy lens? 

Your gaze drifted to your hand, the source of the searing pain. And there, wrapped in a pristine white bandage, lay the answer to at least one of your questions. The memory flooded back in fragments, disjointed and incomplete.

Theo's careless mistake, the scalding mixture splattering across your skin, the sharp cry of pain that had torn through the air, all of it came rushing back with startling clarity.

“Miss L/n you’re awake!” Madam Pomfrey’s voice cut through your thoughts and you saw the woman make her way towards you hurriedly. “That was a terrible burn you had, lucky I had some burn-healing paste on me otherwise you would have had an ugly scar.”

You were still a bit dazed, trying to piece together how you even managed to make your way here. You distinctively remembered collapsing to the floor but that was where your memory stopped and it refused to give you any more.

“Sorry Madam Pomfrey but do you know how I got here? I really can’t seem to remember.”

“Oh dear.” The nurse frowned at your condition. “Mr Nott brought you here. He’s been here the whole afternoon. He's only just popped to dinner. I'm sure he’ll be back. Merlin, the boy did look worried.”

You resisted the urge to scoff at her words. Theodore Nott, worried. Not a chance. He probably only brought you here because Slughorn insisted, and he couldn't risk getting on the professor's bad side. No, you highly doubted he cared about what had happened to you.

The memory of his harsh words repeated in your head like an echo that refused to go away, a reminder of his indifference to your situation. And yet, despite your efforts to brush it off, a bitter laugh escaped your lips. Why were you even upset? After all, the two of you were experts at hurling mean insults at each other. It was practically a pastime. 

Rather you should have been mad at the fact he was the one who caused you to get this injury anyway. If it wasn’t for his stupid mistake you wouldn’t be in this predicament. Then again, you remembered his movements, how his usual nimble fingers were fumbling the ingredients, how he stared at the pages of his book as though they were in a foreign language. Something wasn’t right.

“You’re awake.”

The words startled you and you spotted the Slytherin boy approaching your bed as his face held the same blank expression as before. He sat down beside you and your eyes narrowed. You shuffled away, not wanting to be near him.

“I’m sorry.” He murmured quietly and the words caught you off guard. “These past few days just haven’t been the best and-”

“That’s your excuse?” You bristled at his pathetic apology, hoping that you had misheard what he had said. “You mess up our potion resulting in me getting hurt and then hurl insults my way trying to blame me for what happened. And you think simply saying ‘I’m sorry’ is enough? Using the excuse of having a few bad days as your way out?”

He stayed silent allowing you to continue.

“Theodore Nott, you always were an idiot.” You spat, the words tinged with disappointment. “But I never expected you to be such a heartless prick.”

As the final syllable fell from your lips, a heavy silence settled over the room, punctuated only by the shallow rise and fall of your breath. You held Theo’s gaze and as you studied him you noticed something you had failed to notice before. The dark circles that marred the skin beneath his eyes, the redness that rimmed their edges. The weariness that had been etched into his features. 

“I went home.” He finally said, breaking the silence with his words. “Father sent a letter saying it was urgent, that I needed to return home at once.”

You felt yourself deflate and your gaze softened. Theo and his father had never been on the best terms and ever since his mother died they drifted apart even more. Suddenly his attitude made sense and you felt the guilt seep into your senses.

“Turns out his urgent matter was that he found himself another potential wife. Some poor woman to endure his torture and he wanted to happily announce it to his son. He burnt all of my mother’s belongings and if I hadn’t stopped him he would’ve gotten rid of her grave as well.” Theo scoffed bitterly and you saw the way he was trying to stop the tears from falling. “That bastard calls himself my father but not once in his life has he ever cared about me.”

A heavy silence enveloped the both of you as you sat not uttering a word. You knew that he had always struggled with the strained relationship with his family. The death of his mother had resulted in Theo being distraught for weeks as he relived the nightmare whenever he closed his eyes. 

“I’m not going back there. I’m never setting foot in that house ever again.”

You placed your hand on his shoulder as you tried to offer some sort of comfort. His eyes locked with yours and you saw how his tears glistened as they fell silently. You felt ropes tighten around your heart and you squeezed his shoulder gently. It had been a long time since you saw Theodore Nott cry. It was a rare sight but that was what made it that much more painful.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.” You whispered. “I honestly…I’m so sorry Theo. He really doesn’t deserve a son like you. You’re incredible, you know that? You might be irritating and loud and downright infuriating at times but he doesn’t deserve you because you’re amazing Theodore Nott. And, Merlin, if I’m saying that then it must mean a lot because we both know my word is golden.”

You offered him a small smile and your heart warms when you see one tug at his lips too. He looked away for a second and you saw his eyes land on your bandaged hand and he winced.

“I really am sorry for messing up our potion. I didn’t mean what I said, you’re a brilliant witch Y/n, you always have been. I was just being a prat, I’m really sorry.”

“It’s fine, it’s honestly nothing bad. My hand will probably already be back to normal, I heal quickly you know.” You paused as your smile faltered and you chose your next words carefully. “If…if you don’t want to return to your house, you can always go to someone else's.”

Theo chuckled as he shook his head. “No one is going to accept me into their house without turning me into my father.”

“I will.” 

Silence. Theo looked at you, confusion clear on his face but your gaze was strong and he could tell you had meant what you had said. You felt yourself flush at his stare and you realised your hand was still on his shoulder and you quickly removed it.

“Accept you into my house I mean. My parents love you and you know they haven’t been on good terms with your father ever since what happened. We would be more than willing to take you in.” You watched as his face contorted into expressions that you couldn’t formulate. “That is if you promise not to fill my bathtub with toads again.”

Laughter fell from his lips, cascading like a melody. He lifted his hands to wipe away his tears that had been streaking down his face. His eyes no longer held the blank emotionless look but rather a certain warmth that you had missed seeing. Your grin widened upon hearing the sound and you found yourself joining in.

“At least you look pretty-”

Your words were cut off abruptly as Theo leaned in, his lips capturing yours in a sudden and unexpected kiss. You froze, unable to comprehend what exactly was happening as disbelief rippled through your body. His hands found their way at the back of your neck and you feel his thumb caress your cheek tenderly. You were still in shock when he pulled away and the last few words of the sentence you were about to say tumbled out of your mouth.

“-when you cry…”

You blinked as your mind tried to grapple at what had just happened. Theodore Nott had just kissed you. Theodore Nott, the boy you had despised since you were five, had just kissed you. He kissed you. Kissed…you. Immediately, your body erupted into flames and you felt your face flush hot at how close the both of you were.

“Your body temperature has risen extremely quickly.” Theo teased and you felt yourself grow even hotter.

“Shut it.”

“Like you’re actually a human radiator.” He continued undeterred by your glare.

“Nott if you don’t want to lose your head I would advise you to shut up.”

Theo grinned and you felt your heart stutter at the sight. “Oh so now I’m back to being Nott? What happened to Theo?” He said his name in a high pitched croon in an attempt to mock your voice and you smacked the backside of his head which only encouraged his laughter.

“You’re actually going to be the death of me.” You groaned as you slumped back down the bed, pulling the covers over your face as a feeble attempt to hide yourself from the pretty Slytherin.

Theo poked your arm and you peeked out to find him staring at you with a bright grin on his face. 

"Don't worry." He reassured you, his voice light and teasing. "I'll make sure to stay by your side forever and ever, like a blood-sucking parasite."

“How romantic.” You drawled as you rolled your eyes, trying to maintain a facade of annoyance as you retreated under the covers once more.

“Aren’t I just?” 

You ignored Theo’s playful whines for you to let him see your face. Your heart threatened to break out of your chest as you tried to calm yourself down. But even so, you were unable to stop the grin that spread across your face. Maybe, just maybe, forever wouldn't be so bad with Theodore Nott by your side.

[starcrossedreaders]

A/N: Tumblr is LACKING in Toge headcanons and over all fics, so I'm here to help the cause. These headcanons do have NSFW under the cut and will be marked with '✥' so MDNI!!! Dividers are from benkeibear on Tumblr

✦ StreamerToge! is the type to make a whole ass living off of streaming with a schedule and everything. He has his whole gaming room that gives off a minimalist white vibe with posters and figurines everywhere.

✦ StreamerToge! Who keeps his streaming schedule up on a whiteboard somewhere in the house so you see it and know.

✦ StreamerToge! Who begs for snacks when he games.

Toge <3: Please, just some cheese 🤲🏽 You: Seriously cheese? Toge <3: Mommy?🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️ You: fine. "Yay, chat I'm getting cheese."

✦ StreamerToge! He finds ways to slip you into the conversation with chat, like he could be mid Val game and he's rambling.

"Yea no, I don't know how I pulled them when my only real defining trait is the grind on Val." "Like no seriously, they are just with me for the carry."

✦ StreamerToge! Who (if you played games too) would beg for you to join him with his games, even if you don't stream yourself he still enjoys the quality time together.

✦ StreamerToge! If you aren't the type to play games he would for sure put like a small couch, day bed, or chair somewhere just so you can spend time with him while he games. He calls it the Y/N corner because he would keep your favorite blankets, a plushie, and maybe a snack drawer somewhere near your spot.

Scrolling on your phone, you walked towards Toge's gaming room. He's been streaming for a few hours and you thought it was finally time to join him. Opening the room door, his laughs flooded out of the room before you stepped in and closed the door behind you again. Toge didn't notice you step in and sit down in your little corner till his chat started blowing up. divinedawgs: RIP to chat Jennifer4lifers: is that who I think it is⁉⁉⁉⁉ strongerinurmom: still amazes me that bro could pull 3panda: didn't you literally get rejected on your last stream? strongerinurmom: stfu sakibara: naw I'm with stronger how did bro pull at 10 while be a 4 Toge turned around to see you sitting down while scrolling on your phone, his smile could light up the whole room as he took his headset off to around in his chair. "Hey, my love." He pushed his chair towards you leaving his current match behind. Looking up from your phone you smile as Toge leans down to scatter kisses across your face. "I love you," he mumbled over your lips before he kissed you. "I love you too." divinedawgs: please turn your camera off when you do that shit strongerinurmom: bro is fr rubbing it in Jennifer4lifers: jealous fr fr

✦ StreamerToge! Even when you act annoyed to bring him snacks you still interrupt his streams to bring him dinner

✥ StreamerToge! If you get annoyed with his constant streaming and lack of attention you would definitely give him that under-the-desk support to hopefully get him to get off and give you attention.

You supported your boyfriend and his successful career with streaming. What you didn't support was how much of his time he's put into it recently. His excuse? "I need to give the fans good content before the holidays, it helps keep money coming in. I swear once I'm done I'm all yours." That stupid excuse is what led you to your current situation. Tears ran down your face as the tip of Toge's dick kissed the back of your throat. Looking up past your lashes was a sight that would bring you to your knees if you weren't already there. Toge squeezes his eyes shut as he throws his head back trying not to groan. His bottom lip was caged between his teeth and he opened his eyes to try to focus on the game in front of him. Gagging you pulled your head up, leaving a trail of pre-cum and saliva mixture from your lips to his raging red tip. He let out a big sigh, taking the time to try to compose himself, but what type of girlfriend would you be if you didn't him finish? A cruel one that's for sure. Despite the palm of his hand trying to push your head back you continued to hollow out your cheeks and bob your head up and down chasing for his release.

✥ StreamerToge! If you streamed with him, or just in general he definitely seems the type to try to convince you to stream with one of those Bluetooth vibrators.

You've never regretted agreeing to one of Toge's idea till now. The shorts you had on were soaked, along with your chair. Your thighs twitched once more as another orgasm ran through your body. Black and white dots danced around your vision and the game in front of you faded in and out of your vision. Before you could slump your body you could hear your friends through your headset. "Seriously Y/N are you sure you're okay?" opening your eyes they roamed around till they landed on your second monitor where you had the chat pulled up. Jennifer4lifers: OH NO ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE OKAY Y/N?!?!? sakibara: Girl is going through it rn strongerinurmom: calling for medical help as we SPEAK 3panda: get help divinedawgs: bruh riceballwh0re: poor baby :(((

✥ StreamerToge! He definitely tells his stream that he has to take a fat shit when he is actually running to your guy's shared room to fit in a quickie before his next match.

✥ StreamerToge! Hot and sloppy make-out sessions before each one of his streams, he claims that it gives him the luck he needs to win his games.

A/N: damn it's been a long ass time since I have written in a creative matter, so hopefully you guys enjoyed this. Requests are open but they might take a while to get to so please keep that in mind. I hope you enjoyed the new JJK content I hope to be writing more soon!

[silencesscreams]

santa doesn’t know you like i do

james potter x f!reader (smut)

summary: you and james had been distant for a month, until you saw him at a christmas reunion. you thought he didn’t see you the way you wanted him, until he couldn’t help but bringing you over to his apartment next door.

a/n: did this in a rush but i needed to do a christmas james fic, also stream fruitcake (i love you sabrina carpenter) happy holidays!! didn’t really check for mistakes so just tell me if you see any (please), also keep in mind english isn’t my first language so sorry about any errors.

warnings: smut with plot, muggle + modern day au, afab!reader, she/her pronouns referring to reader, reader knows how to bake, james is taller than reader, wolfstar, friends to lovers, petnames (love, darling, sugar), casual drinking, use of y/n once, kissing, hickeys, swearing, praise, fingering, oral (f receiving), slight dom!james and sub!reader dynamic, james loves biting, orgasm denial?, a bit of a size kink, unprotected (sorry) penetration

you loved the winter time, especially christmas.

gifts, snow, hot chocolate, good food, what could be top that?

you and your friends had planned a christmas reunion, you were so excited you felt stupid. sirius and remus were hosting the party in their apartment, which was right next to james’, so you assumed he’d be there.

even though you and james were very close friends, since you had developed a crush on him you both had been a bit distant, especially because he was in a situationship with a girl you barely knew and you didn’t want to get in the way. even if you were attracted to him, you wanted what has best for him, though you couldn’t handle being around him while he was obsessing over her.

you told your roommate, lily, about it and she said that you were acting silly, distancing yourself from him like that and that you should try and talk to him normally at the party. you guessed she was right, you just wondered if he was going to bring the girl there, you would absolutely hate it.

you and lily went separately, which you realized was a bad idea once you stood in an elevator with a very heavy glass tray filled with chocolate mousse not being able to press the floor buttons without dropping the dessert on the floor or getting your dress dirty. and so you heard him.

shit.

“remus, are you sure she’s not coming?” you heard james say from far away. “no, i just don’t want to-” he saw you. “listen, i’m getting on the elevator, see you soon” he stepped in, cheeks flushed looking at you. you knew he was talking about you in that phone call.

“hi, it been a while” he says, trying to look away from you.

“james, could you press the button please?” you request, signaling to the buttons on the elevator with your head.

“oh, yeah, of course. going to the party?” he asked, already knowing the answer. you nod a yes, hating how awkward the situation felt. the elevator doors close and you feel obliged to say something

“how’s anna?” you question, remembering the girl he had been with for the past month.

“alright, i think” he looks at you. “it didn’t work out between us, you know? we broke up one or two weeks ago”

“sorry to hear that” you weren’t sorry at all.

“it’s whatever, i’m not even sure if i really liked her, just felt like i was trying to get over someone” he stated, the doors open and he held up his arm, holding the door so you could get out before him.

“that sucks. thank you” you step out, staring at him as he got out. he looked pretty like this, his hair looked messy-cute, just the way you liked it. he was wearing the black pants you bought him once and a sweater. he was probably freezing outside. sure, you weren’t wearing the best clothes to keep you warm, specially with the length of the dress, but you took an uber, he walked everywhere.

“hey, could you help me out with something?” he asked, opening the door to his apartment.

“sure” you follow him, closing the door behind you with a bump of your left shoulder, gently placing the tray you were holding on his entrance table. he looks at you, blank look on his face, he looked like his mind was fully empty. “so, what is it you want help with?"

“right, hm, could you help me pick out a sweater?” before you distanced yourself from him, he would always call you randomly and ask you to pick out his clothes. you loved it, it felt like playing with dolls again. you nodded a yes and he went to his room, you looked around his living room. it looked the exact same as it did a month ago, except it had a small christmas tree in the corner between the tv and the framed mirror. you got on your knees to look at the ornaments. they all had pictures of him and his friends. once you saw a picture of you and him in one, you felt like crying, it was the cutest thing. you were smiling and his face was glued to the side of yours, pretending he was biting your cheek. you quickly took a photo and put your phone back in your cardigan's pocket.

“you like the tree?” he smiled, you turned your head and got up, straightening your dress. he had given you quite the fright.

“it’s cute” you smile back, he was shirtless, holding two options in his hands.

“did you see that photo of us from thanksgiving?”

“yeah, i did” you look away. he holds up two sweaters, a cream colored one with little blue patterns and an awfully ugly one that had christmas lights. you were sure he had worn the ugly one to last years holiday party, it was ugly sweater themed.

“i would go with the one that doesn’t have lights” you were sure he was joking when he brought that one. “also, that has to be some sort of fire risk.” you joke as he put son the cream one.

“good choice, thank you, love” he referred to you like that, you just didn’t expect he would feel okay with doing it now.

“you’re welcome, james” you smile, looking at him, but not directly into his eyes. he goes to the door and picks up the mousse effortlessly.

“i’ll get this for you, don’t worry” he said before you could question him. you follow him and open the door.

once he steps out, you close the door behind him and he looks at you that way again.

“we’re doing okay, right? we’re not fighting or anything like that?” he asked, your brows furrow, feeling bad for not treating him like you usually did this past month.

“of course we’re okay, aren’t we? i’m okay” except you weren’t okay with loving him, you weren’t okay at all, but it was better to love him and him not corresponding than not having him in your life at all.

“good, ‘cause i wouldn’t know what to do without you, darling” he said, smiling.

“i wouldn’t know what to do without you either” you smile back and ring the doorbell to the apartment next to james’. it takes him a while but remus opens the door, looking at you and james in shock.

“hey, guys” he said in an awkward tone, the one that his voice turned into when he was nervous. “come in” he said, opening the door wider and mouthing something to james as he held the door for you.

“i’ll take your dessert to the kitchen” james says to you as you head over to lily, who was talking to mary.

“okay, just put it in the refrigerator, alright?” he nods and sirius follows him as he goes to the kitchen.

“why’d you lie to me?” he interrogates remus as he opens the door of the refrigerator.

“listen, i knew you wouldn’t come if i told you she’d be here. i didn’t want you to spend christmas all alone in your apartment, plus, you guys weren’t even in a fight, you’re just distant” he explains himself nervously moving his hands.

“he saw her?” sirius questions, coming into the kitchen and seeing his boyfriend nervous.

“went up the elevator with her.” james stated and looked at remus again “she could’ve heard what i was telling you on the phone, you know?” james said almost whispering, scared you’d hear that too.

“please, everyone knows that you’re in love with her. don’t torture rem’ over it” sirius jokes, giving the man next to him a kiss on the cheek.

“listen, chill out, drink a bit. it’ll be fine” remus says, looking at james with empathetic eyes.

james was trying to not think about you. he had been trying for the past year. until he met anna a month ago, as time passed and he spent more time around anna, he realized that everything she did reminded him of you. it seemed like he had been falling for someone who was a bad copy of you and he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he stayed with her. that month was by far the worst in his year, it was the one without you. you pulled away and he didn’t understand why, so when he saw you that night, he thought you hated him. he didn’t know what to do.

until you talked to him.

that was when he felt like everything good was happening to him, like somehow the universe had brought you back to him. and when he saw you taking a picture of his christmas tree his heart could’ve just melted. he knew you didn’t hate him and that was the biggest relief possible. so he stayed at the party.

“hi” you greeted him, sitting down next to him on the couch. everyone was doing their own thing. james would usually be around the boys joking and drinking, but that night he had spent most of his time sitting on the couch across from you, eyeing your every move. when mary, who had been talking to you for the past twenty minutes, saw him, she announced that she was going to get a drink and chat with peter for a bit. and so you were left making eye contact with james from across the room. after thirty seconds you got up and sat next to him.

“hey” he smiled, you took his drink from his hand and took a sip, not breaking eye contact once. the heat burned your throat in the best way possible, it was way stronger than what he usually had.

“changing it up for the holidays? you’re usually a beer guy, aren’t you?” you ask, putting his drink on the coffee table in front of you both.

“decided i needed something more for tonight, 'was feeling kind of tired, you know?” you nod in answer, your leg brushed against james’ and you immediately looked away from him, he casually put his right hand on your knee and led it up to where your dress ended in the middle of your thighs. you were so incredibly close it was driving you insane, what was he even doing?

“have you baked those cookies recently?" he looks at you, like he wasn’t doing nothing at all. was he drunk?

“i haven’t, but i can bake some for you another day, i know you like them. how much did you drink?” you ask, his tolerance was high, the party had been going for about an hour and a half, he didn’t drink much, did he?

“almost nothing. two cups of that you drank” his hand there was driving you crazy, you tried to hide it but your nervousness was pretty noticeable. “i really like the cookies, what do you put in them that’s different?” “hm, usually i put more salt and vanilla extract than what’s recommended by recipes but that’s it” you felt a lump in your throat, he was making you so nervous. he looked so good and you felt like screaming because he had never touched you like that before. sure, very long hugs and sometimes cuddles, but not hands on thighs and whatever it was he was doing to you.

“are you alright, love? you seem a bit pale” he questioned, smiling at you, that damned smile.

“i’m fine. i’m going to the bathroom to freshen up, but i’ll be back soon” you got up and walked quicker than usual to the guest bathroom, locking the door behind you as you walked in. you looked at yourself in the mirror, trying to calm down. no, he wasn’t flirting with you, you were just being delusional, it was all fine. plus, you both were really good friends. it was completely normal for friends to touch each other like that, you were just letting your feelings for him get in the way of some friendly physical touch. that was probably it. you checked your makeup and flushed the empty toilet, to at least fake you were actually in the bathroom.

as you opened the door, you were faced with james potter, in all his glory, staring at the door of the bathroom you were just in.

“sorry, did i take long? i-” he interrupted you.

“listen, y/n, i have been trying to brush this off for about a year now but i can’t. i hope this doesn’t affect our friendship, but im interested in you. as more than a friend and i really like you. i think you’re pretty, funny, i think you smell great and have an amazing taste on basically everything. i want to take you out on dates and treat you better than anyone ever has, this past month i have felt so bad without you around me and when i saw you again today i just felt better. well, that was until i realized about half an hour ago that i hadn’t bought you a christmas gift, but just text me your wishlist and i’ll get you whatever you want because i just want to make you happy. that’s all i want this christmas. also, is this bad timing to point out the mistletoe on the doorframe?”

you couldn’t believe it. you loved everything he had just said, you wanted him more than you’ve ever wanted anything in your life. you loved him.

“kiss me” you said simply like your heart wasn’t pounding crazy quick in your chest.

“what?” “kiss me. isn’t it bad luck not to kiss under mistletoe?” so he did. his lips crashed with yours, his right hand holding you by the back of your neck and his left on your hip, closer to your ass than it normally would be in any kiss. he spent a while like that, lips glued to yours, taking the situation in. he pulled away, looked at you from top to bottom and then went back to the kiss. his tongue entered your mouth smoothly, but the kiss was feral and hungry. he craved your taste, he kissed you like a starved man.

soon enough, the left hand was grabbing your ass for dear life. he pulled away again, leaving you craving the feeling of his mouth on yours.

“you’re not feeling well, can i take you home?” he asked, looking at your lips. it took you a while to understand what he was implying.

“please” you whisper, he takes your hand and leads you to the living room, grabbing your cardigan from the chair it was on.

“wait here” he said to you, going over to sirius and telling him you were feeling a bit sick. sirius waved to you and mouthed a get well soon, it was sweet he believed james, specially since his mouth looked pink from your tinted lipgloss.

as soon as you stepped out of the apartment you looked at james with a big smile on your face.

“this is so weird, i suddenly feel better” you joke.

“really, huh? should take you to my apartment just to be safe” he picked you up, holding you with one arm.

“james!” you shouted, laughing.

“don’t worry, darling. ‘gonna take good care of you” he opened the door to his apartment, closing it with his foot. he took you to his room, throwing you on the bed and jumping to lay down on the spot next to you. he took his shoes off lazily and took off your heels for you.

“you’re so stupid, you know that?” you comment, rolling your eyes at his gesture. you loved it.

“yeah, i am the one who’s stupid” he smiled, crawling over you, his legs between yours and his face right over yours, giving you a sweet smile. he kissed you again, that same starved way, this time he wouldn’t have to stop though.

his hands roamed your body, cupping your breasts through your dress. your hands went over to his hair, tugging on it lightly. he chuckled into your mouth when you did it the first time, but he liked it more than anything. he pulled away from your mouth, now kissing from your cheeks to your neck, biting it lightly, leaving marks. you gasped at the feeling of his teeth nipping on your skin, the wet patch on your underwear becoming absolutely undeniable.

his kisses turned sloppy once they reached your chest, he pulled down your dress to get a good look, you weren’t wearing a bra. your breasts looked absolutely perfect, your nipples perked up because of the cold.

“you look so fucking gorgeous” he whispered “hate to mess you up like this” no he didn’t. he was loving every second of it.

his lips sucked on your right nipple, his hand grabbing your left boob. you moaned at the warm feeling of his mouth on you. his tongue flicking your nipple before moving onto the other.

“james” you gasp, shivering under him. he’s loving the way you react to him. your hand goes down to palm him through his jeans, he can’t help but groan.

“needy, aren’t we?” he teases. he’s been waiting for this moment for so long, at the same time he wants to take it slow, he wants to absolutely wreck you.

“please” you beg, he wants something else first.

“not yet, princess. be patient” he slips his hand under the waistband of your underwear, feeling how wet you were. “all for me?”

“all yours” you tried not to stutter, holding back a moan once he pinched your clit.

“good girl” he says, putting one finger in you, using his thumb to stimulate your sensitive bud. you bring the back of your hand over your mouth to hold in a moan but he stops you.

“nonono, none of that. i wanna hear you, love” he puts another finger in and you moan, lightly arching your back. he smiles and trusts his fingers into you whilst stimulating your bud.

“you’re being so good, sugar. so pretty like this” he praised you, your walls clench around him and you moan loudly at his words. he smirks, already knowing how much you love being praised like that. being told you’re a good girl. he pulls out his fingers and you whine at the empty feeling. he pulls the sweater he was wearing from off of him, discarding the piece of clothing you had picked for him earlier that night. he takes your lacy underwear off and opens your legs, holding apart with his wrists and getting a perfect view of you.

he kisses the inside of your thighs upwards in the direction of your pussy, he was kissing you everywhere except where you most wanted him. until suddenly he kitten licked your hole, his thumb moved in circular motions on your clit. you groaned at the feeling of his mouth on you. he sucked on your clit and put two fingers in again, flicking over your sensitive bud with his tongue.

“fuck!” you moaned once he nipped at your clit with his teeth, you were so close. your hands tug on his hair and you can feel his cocky smile against you. he kept on thrusting his fingers into you, sucking onto your bud harder. you moaned loudly at the feeling, not being able to hold it in.

“shit, james, i’m gonna cum” you say in between moans and groans. you were almost reaching your high but he pulled his fingers out, giving your cunt a peck before pulling away, making you whine.

“not yet” he took off his pants hurriedly, he was wearing white underwear and you could see his hard cock pressed against the fabric. he was bigger than what you thought was. james took himself out of his underwear, he was on his knees towering over you, not breaking eye contact as he stroked himself before penetrating you. it was probably the hottest thing you had ever seen. he gave you a quick kiss before lining himself up against your entrance, the tip against your aching hole.

“tell me if you want to stop, alright?” he asks, looking into your eyes as you nod. you close your eyes as he begins to put it in.

“no, look at me, love” he demands, you open your eyes and look at him over you. holy shit. once he’s fully in he groans, not moving an inch. “you’re so fucking tight, feels so good” he whispers, pulling out almost fully and then trusting back in. you moaned at the exciting new feeling.

it took him a few thrusts, but once he finally picked up his pace he didn’t hold back, hitting your g-spot perfectly with every thrust. he made you a moaning and shivering mess beneath him, scratching harshly his back. you were sure it would leave marks.

his head was in the crook of your neck, biting the soft skin beneath him. it felt better than anything, it didn’t take long for you to start feel your orgasm coming onto you. he thrusted deeply, hitting the perfect spot even harder.

you moaned loudly, your walls clenched around him, he groaned at the feeling.

“are you alright?” he teased you, voice sounding strained as his thrusts hit deep inside of you. he lifts your hips, thrusting harder and hitting everywhere you needed him to. you threw your head back, completely taken by the pleasure he was causing over you, your eyes fluttering shut.

“shit, james. ‘m gonna cum” you state, scratching his back roughly.

���do it, be a good girl and cum for me” he said, groaning as your walls tightened around him. your climax hits you hard and you're moaning and arching your back as he holds you against him. his thrusts don’t stop once you’ve finished.

“gonna cum in you, is that alright?” you nod in answer, not being able to form a coherent sentence because of how fucked out you were. the sound of his hips slapping against yours filling up the room along with your moans and his swearing. after a few thrusts you felt his cock twitch inside of you, his hot juices mixing with yours.

once he’s finished he collapses over you, not pulling out. he leaves a trail of kisses from your collarbone to your mouth, kissing you firmly once he gets to the end.

“i think i should take you out on a date sometime” he says, grinning. he was so stupid.

“you really should” you kiss him softly and you knew what it was. he was also in love.

[valarie-is-lovely]

ADAM REQUEST. i've been thinking about what it would be like to spend holiday's with him. could you write about that ? like watching christmas movies , baking food , eating halloween treats together. stuff like that :)

Adam Stanheight — Holiday Headcannons

(Please don't steal my writing! Takes place before the bathroom trap. Reblogs and likes are encouraged ♡)

Warnings: romantic gestures - gore mention - cursing - Slight vomit mention - slight NSFW mention - Alcohol mention

SFW, GN romantic headcannons

HALLOWEEN

• Has always preferred Halloween over any holiday. Enjoys the scares and the stupid horror movies with the main characters that seem to have an IQ less than 10.

• Drags you to every thrift store in town to try and find anything Halloween related. A shirt with Ghostface on it? Bought. A tiny chain that says 'Childs Play?' Bought. A hat, one he knows he'll never wear, that has Micheal Myers with a knife? Bought. And he only acts like this in October.

• Likes snuggling up under the blankets with you just so you guys can watch horror movies, no matter how bad or good. He commentates on the stupidity of the characters in the movie you guys chose.

• Favorite horror villain is Michael Myers. He gets angry when people say that he's 'overrated.'

• Definitely perfers slasher films over others. Can't really do gore. Those movies make him pretty ill to the stomach. Just doesn't like seeing someone get sawed in half while their intestines fall out.

• Tries his best to decorate the apartment for Halloween, but can't do much since money is tight. He perfers when you make different cut out banners to hang on the walls or shit like that.

• Makes obnoxious comments during the movies you guys watch. Can't keep his mouth shut for a moment.

• At least once he'll have a nightmare during the month and then literally won't sleep for the rest of the night like a child. He gets angry when you try to comfort him, claiming that he 'doesn't need that bullshit.'

• On Halloween night, you two obviously dress up. He takes photoshoots of you guys in your outfits, you two are always matching, and then hangs them up in his darkroom every year. That night, you two eat a ton of Halloween candy, meaning one of you two end up vomiting from the amout of sugar you consumed.

CHRISTMAS

• Depsite trying his hardest, will never ever be able to bake Christmas cookies without your help. They'll always end up being some sort of burnt, black blob or so undercooked you can taste each raw ingredient.

• Favorite Christmas movie is The Santa Clause.

• Absolutely despises the cold. Yet, if you beg hard enough, he will go out in the snow with you and throw snowballs. After a snowball fight, he likes to tackle you to the ground and kiss you all over in a way to warm you up.

• Really likes hot chocolate. Will do anything you ask as long as he gets a mug full of hot chocolate after.

• Goes to the mall with you, if money isn't tight, and buys you two ugly Christmas sweaters to wear on Christmas morning.

• Not too good at gift giving. Maybe he'll throw some perfume / cologne into a box along with a cute little glass trinket of your favorite animal. Something small and stupid that means a lot.

• All he wants for Christmas is a box of cigarettes ♡

• Will watch Christmas movies with you, but probably won't pay much attention. As figured, he'd probably talk through the whole thing.

• Christmas morning, he wakes up around 9-10 A.M. and opens the gifts you two got each other. There's not a lot, but it's still special to him, even if he's not the gift kind of guy.

• If having a bad day, he'd perfer to stay inside with you. Maybe have a nice, hot bath with you with a little Christmas bath bomb. Something corny like that.

• After building gingerbread houses with you, he will slam his fist into his in order to break it so he can just lick the icing off of the gingerbread pieces.

EASTER

• Used to be utterly terrified of the Easter bunny when he wa younger.

• He honestly doesn't do much for this holiday other than hide little plastic eggs around the apartment for you to find.

(Sorry for the shortness of this one 😭)

VALENTINES DAY

• Showers you with affection all day.

• When you wake up in the morning, he's not in bed. A note lies on the bedside table that reads, 'Went out to get some groceries for us today. Your coffee is already made for you.' The note makes you aware that he will be the most loving guy he can be all day today.

• Leaves kisses all over your cheeks, neck, collarbone, etc. All day.

• Asks to shower alongside you. Nothing happens behind the shower curtain besides soft kisses and hugs as you two wash each other's bodies and hair.

• At around dinnertime, you guys sit in his living room, talking and cuddling while watching some dumb romance movie. He hands you a small book. Inside lies a bunch of photo collages between you two, thus being your Valentines gift.

• Takes you out to your favorite bar after dinner and gets you two drunk off your favorite alcohol.

• Once home, he brings you to bed, lathering you in kisses and soft love bites.

• (NSFW) Asks you if you two can have sex that night. If so, he makes sure it's all slow and sensual, unless suggested otherwise. Still, marking you as his with tiny kisses and hickies.

• Aftercare includes him holding your head against his chest and whispering how much he is in love with you. Gently plays with your hair, peppering kisses over your jaw and lips.

———

Hope this was good! Sorry for it not being too long. My first ever headcannon / fic on tumblr so I hope I did well. More requests would be appreciated. Ty for reading ♡

[sunny-mercya]

Sandcastles

James Maguire x Male Reader

Fandom -> Derry Girls

Masterlist

James didn't thought much about it, when Michelle—his one and only beloved Cousine from Northern Irlands Derry—said to him, that he wouldn't be the only lad in their school and Squad.

James thought, it could be much worse—like being in all Boys school, where they probably gonna torment him, like a football, because of his english upbringing—than being in Michelle's girls squad—or actually, that's what his Aunt said, because James thought he could handle himself just fine in a all boy school—but Aunts, like mothers, like to worry over their children.

When stepping out of the bus and onto the grounds of Our Lady Immaculate College—a mouthful of a name—James did his best to look like a toughen up boy, acting chilling cool, like the lads from the 60's—because they had some style, but with his school uniform it doesn't really brought out what he intended to look like—still, James hold his chin high.

The girls just all giggled at him, pointing their fingers—and James felt silly now, just a little, but he doesn't stop in his act.

»Ya really look stupid, ya know that asshat? Stop with yer acting of being some lad. Yer an embarrassment for me.« Michelle scolds, slapping him good on the arm and a scornful expression adorns her makeup'd face.

James wouldn't tell a soul—because Michelle would kill him—but Michelle without makeup looks like a different person.

»Well, I'm the only boy here, in a herd full of girls, what am I supposed to do then?«

»No yer ain't. I told ya, yer won't be the only lad. I told ya about [Name], didn't I? So, would ya stop with yer nonsense fucking whining.«

»I thought you meant that as a sort of joke, with that [Name] person....«

James flinched when Michelle turned to him in a flash—anger radiating off her like a heater and her grimace of a expression, was unsettling.

Erin and Clare stared at him, brows raised and looking rather offended—and Orla? Orla stepped a good foot away from him, as if he just had said something unpleasant.

»I'm sorry?« James didn't know why he apologised, but he felt as he should—only because he doesn't want to be Michelle's punching bag for the rest of the day.

»Yer better be asshat! Don't dare say such mean things about [Name] again! He's a precious friend and we ain't gonna hesitate to punch anyone who talks shit about him. This includes you as well.« Erin ranted, Orla just nodding along with her candy.

James rolled his eyes, shaking his head slightly—great, he thought.

»POP-TARTS! MY FAVOURITE GIRLS! HELLO!«

The girls turned away from James, Michelle squatting down like a sports player—ready to catch whomever just shouted this.

James looked over Orla's shoulder, seeing a boy—this must be this [Name] lad, Michelle was talking about, James concluded—sprinting over to them and right into Michelle's arms, who she hugged tightly and spins him around like a rag-doll.

Once Michelle had sat [Name] down—squishing his cheeks in a greeting, before releasing him completely from her clutches—he turned to James.

[Name] had been all excited this whole morning, to finally meet Michelle Cousin and now, when the time has come—[Name] couldn't help himself but to grin brighter than ever and pulling the other boy into a welcoming hug.

»Welcome to Derry and Our Lady'a College! It'a nice to finally meet ya James!«

And James thought, this [Name] lad was rather weird—and God forbid, the girls hear his offending thoughts.

~~~

It's summer now—temperatures have risen, weather mostly pleasant, suns brighter and longer out—the long holidays had started and James didn't believed he would survive a whole year in Derry—but he did and he's ready to, excited even, for his next upcoming years in Derry.

What James also didn't believed—and thinking back to this year schools beginning, it truly seemed unlikely to happen—that [Name] and him would befriend one another, but they did.

Although, if James being honest—but he never would dare to tell either the girls and especially not [Name]—he was a bit reluctant to even talk with [Name] at all, after all his way of speaking and how he is—his little habits and other personality traits aspects—were just a tiny bit off putting for James.

»I'mma ella looking forward to our small summer trip! Dad brought me'a this'a ella cool sand scooping and bucket set. James, Orla we're gonna build some Sandcastles, don'tcha we?« [Name] rambles in excitement, finishing of Michelles hairstyling—which were just two buns and some hairclips, Michelle could've done this with ease, but always letting [Name] doing it, because she knows how much her friend loves to do it—and plopping down next to James on the bed.

Normally they would've meet up at Erin's house, but Mary was doing some grand cleaning and shooed them away instantly once she saw them—so now, they're all at [Name]'s, scooped up in his room, which James had been in many times.

Orla agrees in a heartbeat to [Name]'s sandcastle idea, starting to ramble excitingly about decorations and when Michelle looks at James expectantly, he just shrugs his shoulders.

»It's alright to do, I suppose.« he says, letting [Name] do what he was about to do—putting some real girly, all coloured in pink and purple and blue with stars and other ornaments on it, hairclips into his curly hair.

»Ya don't wanna build with us Sandcastles? But Dad even brought a second scooper, in green, becausa I'mma told him to do, becausa yer like green and I'mma ella wanna build little tiny castle of sandy sand with ya and like—«

»Yes! Yes I love to build Sandcastles with you and Orla! I promise you [Nickname] I really do and I even will bring some tiny flags, okay? Yeah, alright.« James cuts his friend off, arm going around his shoulder and pulling [Name] in for a hug—the (hair.c) laid his head down onto James shoulder, hands reaching for James and playing with his fingers.

James had once asked, during dinner, his Aunt—she's a nurse, she probably knows better than Michelle or Erin, who would punch him blue and purple if he dared to utter his questions, especially such sensitive personal ones, about [Name]—if there might be something, medical wise, wrong with [Name]—because his friend had a weird way of speaking and overall just not really being “normal”.

Michelle was close that night to scream more than just profanities at James, but her mother hold her off and explained calmly to James—that yes, mental wise, there is something wrong with [Name].

And when James asked for an elaboration—he wanted to know, otherwise how he should know how to help [Name] in whatever dry situation may occur, if he doesn't know what's wrong—his Aunt, thankfully, had given him the short story—and reprimanded Michelle not to get always so protective angry over [Name], when someones being curious about him.

It took a bit of time to figure out [Name]'s speech pattern and what he was trying to say at all, but James manages quite good—and could proudly disclaims himself as [Name]'s Translator.

»You do James? You really do?« Michelle crossed her arms, questionable raising her eyebrows at James—not believing him in the slightest, because her dear english cousin did actually once forget a promise to [Name] and boy of the lord, was her friend heartbroken about it.

»Yes, Michelle. I do. Here by I, James, declare my promise to [Name] and Orla, that I will bring tiny flags and build a great sandcastle.«

»My knightly knight James!« [Name] moved, albeit a bit harshly, away from James hold—giving a big smooch on the cheek—before jumping from his bed and taking Orla by hand and shouting down the stairs to his dad if the cake is ready for devouring.

James lips quirked into a smile, he really wouldn't mind another kiss from his prince.

[hairstevington]

Hi! I would love to see the 1st Valentine’s Day prompt(a bouquet of their favourite flowers) for steddie! Specifically Eddie bringing Steve flowers(idk why but I’m a firm believer that Steve secretly loves getting gifted flowers lol!). If you do do this thank you so much!! <3333

Ahhhhhh yes LET’S GOOOO!!! Thanks for the request! (Ao3 link here!)

Word Count: 1.3K

Warnings: Some reeeeal fluffy shit, Eddie secretly pining over his best friend Steve, gay scheming, romance

A/N: This ended up being a bit more than just flowers, but hopefully it suffices! If anyone else is interested here is the prompt post, I also took inspiration from this cute lil post by @grandwretch :)

🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼

Eddie always teased Steve about his romantic conquests. They frequently discussed best practices for him to woo women - including knowing their favorite color, their birthday, their favorite movie, etc. Eddie watched Steve date beautiful woman after beautiful woman, always putting in so much effort and getting so little back.

That's probably why Eddie started doing it.

"Should I get her the blue bracelet or the green one?" Steve would ask.

"I dunno man, what's her favorite color?"

"Blue. But her eyes are green."

"Get the blue. The two colors look good together anyway," Eddie answered as if he was somehow the person to ask about such things. He'd never really dated anyone, but he'd seen a lot of movies, and watched a lot of high school couples date each other.

"Thanks," Steve would say. He was always appreciative for the second opinion, even though the opinion was based on nothing.

"No problem," Eddie smiled. "Hey, what's your favorite color?"

Any time Steve asked for advice, Eddie would eventually turn it back on Steve. It was all part of his master plan, you see - he wanted to make Steve feel special on Valentine's Day. Not in a gay way, he told himself. Steve's my friend, it's not like that.

He tried to convince himself he was doing it platonically, or because it would be funny to see Steve all flustered, but deep down Eddie knew that it was far more than that.

But him and Steve were friends, and that's all they'd ever be, and he'd accepted that.

A week before Valentine's Day, there was a package on Steve's doorstep addressed to him. He wasn't expecting any mail, and the box was so haphazardly wrapped it was almost scary. Like, he was pretty sure he'd seen this exact set-up in a horror movie. Main character gets mysterious package that ends up ruining their life.

(It didn't end up ruining his life, but it sure as hell changed it)

Inside the box was a teddy bear - one of those real cutesie ones you find at a giftshop this time of year. Steve was confused, and wondered if it was even delivered to the right place - sure enough, there was a handwritten note that confirmed it. I call him Steve Bearington, it read. Steve smiled, but still had no idea who it was from. The girl that he'd gone on a few dates with could never have been responsible for the disastrous way the gift was wrapped. He shrugged. It must have been a secret admirer - he got those sometimes.

He told Eddie about it the next day, and Eddie pretended to act surprised. He didn't want to give his secret away, especially when he went so far as to ask some random person to write out the stupid note so that Steve wouldn't recognize his handwriting. He probably should have asked them to wrap it, too, but whatever. Steve was so happy about it, so Eddie continued with his plan.

Eddie learned that Steve liked sour candy over chocolate, so he got him some. Then he wrote him a poem - it wasn't, like, the greatest thing ever written, but Eddie did tend to have a way with words. He delivered the candy two days before Valentine's Day, and on the eve of the holiday he had one of his other friends discreetly stick the poem on Steve's front door and ding-dong-ditch while he and Eddie were hanging out, just to throw him off his game even more.

"Oh my god, they did it again," Steve said when he picked the poem from the door. "Who is this person?" Eddie appreciated that he said person, instead of woman.

"What does it say?" Eddie asked, biting his lip to keep from grinning. He watched as Steve read it to himself first, his brow furrowing.

"It's, uh," he said, folding it nicely and putting it in his pocket. "It's good."

Hell yeah it is, Eddie thought to himself.

Steve had a date on Valentine's Day - Eddie knew this, and it was to be expected anyway, since Steve almost always had a date on most days. He was leaving at 7, so Eddie showed up at 6.

-----------------------------------------------------

Steve didn't have much more to do to get ready for the date - he was already having a good hair day, and he'd picked out an outfit that had done him well in the past. He just was still caught up on who wrote him that poem.

Nobody had written him a poem before, like ever. Steve hadn't ever attempted to write one for anyone else. He wasn't that good at analyzing them in English class, so he'd grown a bit tired of poetry as a whole.

But the one left on his front door sparked a new appreciation for it.

He was confused when the doorbell rang, because he wasn't expecting anybody. Then, he wondered if maybe, he'd find another poem out there.

Instead, he found Eddie. Well, actually, he found a person standing there with flowers covering their face, but the mane of curly brown hair surrounding the flowers gave him away.

They were daisies. Eddie was probably the only person in the world that knew Steve liked daisies, and it wasn't even something he'd explicitly said. He just knew he was drawn to them when he saw them, and he'd pointed them out a few times while he was with Eddie.

"Special Valentine's delivery for Harrington!" Eddie announced, letting himself in. Steve watched as he set them on the table, confident as always, a bright smile on his face. But Steve was mostly just confused.

"What...the hell?" Eddie's bravado faltered just a little bit.

"Hasn't anyone ever gotten you flowers before?" Eddie asked.

"No, but I've bought a lot of flowers before, and -"

"Tsk tsk tsk," Eddie interrupted. "My point exactly. You deserve flowers too, Steve."

"God, what's with all the gifts from people this week?" Steve whined, completely overwhelmed. "Between this and the secret admirer thing, I just -"

Steve's head was spinning, and he wasn't the most observant person, but he did have enough sense to notice the way Eddie winced at the mention of the secret admirer.

"Yeah, well," Eddie said, his tone softer than before. "Like I said, you deserve it."

There was a thick silence as Steve realized what was happening.

"Eddie..." he said, putting it all together. Eddie was the only one who would have known to get him any of that stuff. Steve openly told Eddie all kinds of things he never admitted to anyone else, because he didn't think Eddie was paying attention. He certainly didn't think Eddie had been filing it away to do this.

"I hope you have a good date tonight," Eddie said, suddenly feeling quite stupid about this whole thing. He turned to leave, but Steve stopped him.

"The poem - you wrote it?" Eddie nodded.

Steve thought about straight-up reciting it to Eddie in that moment, to prove to him just how much he liked it. He'd read it so many times it was burned into his brain, just as he wanted it to be.

Huh.

He wasn't expecting this from his best friend, but he was shocked at how weird it didn't feel. Finding out Eddie had been his secret admirer just made sense.

"Doesn't have to be a big deal," Eddie mumbled. "I just - I don't want this to - Like, I'm sorry if -"

"I gotta go cancel my plans with Deb," Steve said.

"What?"

"She'll live. Besides, it wouldn't be that cool of me to go out with someone when I'm thinking about someone else."

"What?" Eddie repeated. He really didn't expect to get this far. "What are you saying?"

Steve smiled - his brilliant, trademark smile that always made Eddie feel warm inside.

"Do you wanna be my Valentine, Munson?"

🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼

[diazsdimples]

Writing Patterns!

Rules: list the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern!

Tagged by @exhuastedpigeon @wikiangela @cal-daisies-and-briars @rainbow-nerdss @tizniz @puppyboybuckley @spotsandsocks @thekristen999 @hippolotamus and @aroeddiediaz thank you loves!

Starting from most to least recent.

You've got me whipped (Explicit, 10.8k)

It had only been a matter of time, Eddie reflects, before Buck did something really stupid. He’s heard all about the days of Buck 1.0, where Buck was very much act first, think later, and Hen had given him a thorough retelling of how Buck had scaled a crane after Eddie had been shot, imminent sniper threat be damned, but this is the first time he’s seen Buck go completely, well, Buck, and put himself into an insane amount of danger.

In a drought I'll give you water (Explicit, 8.2k)

Eddie’s hanging out the washing when he notices it. Just for the record, it’s not like he regularly inspects Buck’s underwear, thank you very much, but he’d felt something tacky on the inside of the flimsy fabric when he’d been about to peg it up, and had investigated like any sane person would do.

Kilty Pleasures (Explicit, 8k)

When Eddie had suggested that he and Buck attend a Scottish festival he’d seen advertised, he hadn’t really expected Buck to take him up on the offer, much less turn up at home two days later with two kilts and a shit eating grin.

With you I'm home (Teen, 20.6k) - WIP

“Daddy.” “Hmmm, go t’ sleep, Aid.” “Daddy, up!” “Five more minutes.” “Up now, Daddy!”

Play me like a fiddle (Explicit, 34k) MY BELOVED MUSICIAN FIC

Eddie Diaz likes to think he is a strong man. Physically and mentally.

Buck's Baby (By Accident) (General, 119k)

Buck had just gotten off a long 24-hour shift and was finally relaxing on his couch, beer in hand and TV set to a station that showed crappy reality shows. The shift had been taxing, with the alarm going off all night for various medical calls and then a five-alarm fire that had taken a few hours to get under control. Bobby’s dinner had cheered him up a little and had gotten him through the drive home, but he’d been relieved to finally pull up in the parking lot of his apartment building. Buck had the next 3 days off and planned to spend those days doing as little as possible. He’d organised to meet Eddie and Christopher at the zoo the next day, but the meeting had been organised for late enough in the afternoon that he could sleep in. Hen was going on a brief holiday with Karen for their anniversary and Chimney had made it clear that he and Maddie were not to be disturbed as they were trying for a baby and apparently Maddie was in her fertile time. Buck screwed up his nose as he remembered how thrilled his brother-in-law had seemed at the idea of a weekend of sex with his sister. It was not something he needed to think of right now.

Fucking Finally (Finally Fucking) (Explicit, 3.9k)

The car ride to the hotel felt much longer than it was, mostly because Eddie was fighting the urge to shove his hands down Buck’s pants that second. It was clear Buck was fighting similar urges as he fidgeted in the passenger seat, glancing over at Eddie and biting his lip every so often. When they pulled into the parking lot, Eddie quickly grabbed an overnight back he’d stashed in the back seat.

Burning with Need (Explicit, 3.8k)

The hot July sun was beating down on Buck’s bare back as him and Eddie hiked through Franklin Canyon Park, enjoying one of the few days off that aligned for them. It was a weekday, so Christopher was at school and, being bored and childless, the two men had decided that a hike was exactly the right activity to pass the time. They’d driven through Beverly Hills to get to the bottom of the trails, wistfully staring at the lavish homes and comparing notes on what they’d buy for their family if they had that much money. Eddie, it seemed, went for the more understated homes, generally single story with a large backyard, whereas Buck was of the mind of the more rooms the better, picking out large sprawling mansions that Eddie claimed would be an absolute nightmare to clean.

In sickness and in health (General, 3.7k)

When Eddie woke up with a pounding headache and a nose full of snot, he knew he was fucked. He wasn’t generally one to get sick, something he put down to his immune system constantly getting small doses of exposure to viruses between his job and parenting an elementary-school aged child, but when he did fall ill, he fell hard. He blearily creaked open an eyelid, squinting as the morning light filled his room, and fumbled with his phone to switch off his alarm. Flopping against his pillows, Eddie let out a load groan which quickly transformed into a hacking cough. Deep down he knew there was no way he was going to manage to get to work that day but he pulled back the covers and pushed himself off the bed regardless. He barely got two steps before the room spun sickeningly and he had to grasp his dresser to keep himself upright. With a sigh, Eddie accepted defeat and dragged himself back to bed, pulling up Bobby’s number as he settled back against the pillows, wiping his nose with the back of his hand as he did so.

Your Hands on my Body (Explicit, 1.9k)

Buck stood under the cold blast of the shower in Eddie’s bathroom, willing his erection to subside. It was the first morning in 3 weeks of staying with his friend that he’d woken up with morning wood, all because of a dream he’d had about Eddie. Buck wasn’t usually one to have sexy dreams about his friends and this one had him unusually hot and bothered. He could feel his heartbeat pulsing in his groin as his erection jutted proudly out from his body. When he first got into the shower, Buck had had full intentions of drowning himself with cold water and willing his erection away, but it looked as though that wasn’t going to happen. It almost seemed that the more he tried to ignore it, the harder he got. He tried firmly to not think of Eddie but all he could see in his mind’s eye was Eddie in the ocean, water dripping from his torso, his swimming trucks delicately cradling his package in a way that made Buck’s mouth water.

My writing style has changed SO MUCH. I have 2 eras, the before Buck's Baby era and the after Buck's Baby era and I really learned how to 1. be more concise and 2. where the enter button on my keyboard was adkjhashkdj. Recently I've been going for short starting sentences it seems.

Tagging some mutuals if you want to do it!

@theotherbuckley @daffi-990 @watchyourbuck @disasterbuckdiaz @bucksbackwardcap @fortheloveofbuddie @jesuisici33 @steadfastsaturnsrings @wildlife4life @evanbegins @slightlyobsessedwitheverything @spagheddiediaz @kitteneddiediaz @elvensorceress @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @smilingbuckley @actuallyitsellie @epicbuddieficrecs @sunflowerdiaiz

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #343

Ohhh. Sephiroth. Today was entirely too busy. I had a fun time, but... I had very little time to breathe between everything that happened.

So! I'll start at the beginning!

If you did oblige my small favor to think positive things at our little pumpkin friend, it's definitely working because this morning, I discovered that a THIRD leaf is starting to peek out!! Look!!

I'm excited for the little seedling. Recently, we improved the lightbulb that we use in the kitchen, so now it produces something a little closer to sunlight. I'm hoping that this will be enough to help get it through the rest of the winter.

...Wow. It's only a few paragraphs in and I can't seem to focus for shit. Fwhoof...

...Okay. So. I went to work again today, and it was very good! I was there from 9am until 2pm, on my feet and super busy the whole time! Everyone is trying really hard to make sure everything is well-stocked for the looming holiday. People are going out a few days ahead of time to gather up the ingredients they need in order to make their traditional holiday dishes. And lots of the traditional holiday dishes involve breads, rolls, and glutinous sweets.

Before I went in, it rained, and the water running over the pavement made interesting patterns, so I snapped a picture:

So I was bagging up breads and rolls. I was tending to customers. I was boxing up cookies and pastries. I was applying labels to things and putting them out on shelves. I was all over the place today, and it was good!

Also... I thought maybe everyone would be stressed out all to heck. So I brought in some of the pumpkin brownies I made yesterday to try to give the others something to be happy about. The manager of the whole store was bustling in and out of my department today.

...Apparently, he thinks I'm a delight to work with, and he's very confused about why I don't have more hours, just in general. He's supposedly going to try to fix that. I guess we'll see.

...I have recollections of my mother telling me that in the “really real world”, no one was gonna deal with my clumsiness or slowness or inefficiency. She said that I was lucky that she was my mother instead of my boss, or else she would have fired me. And. You know. Sephiroth... in this space, I'm still kinda new. 4 hours per week isn't a whole lot of practice time. There's still a lot that I don't know. There are still a number of movements that my dyspraxic hands struggle with executing. I drop things sometimes. I print one too many stickers. I don't know all the tricks of the trade yet, or all the most efficient ways of doing these things.

...And. I know that if my mother was my supervisor, she'd be screaming at me and calling me all sorts of things, like “ungrateful”, “oblivious”, “stupid”, and even the r-word from time to time.

...But these people. These “really real world” people that she tried so hard to warn me about. They accept mistakes as part of learning. They accept that I'm not always gonna be maximally efficient. They accept that I'm going to need to ask questions and be reminded of things from time to time. A bit of clumsiness from me is expected by them.

Sephiroth. These “really real world” people treat me a whole hell of a lot better than she used to. Even during the peak stress part of the business year, they still treat me with grace and have faith that I'm earnestly doing my best. And... that's not something she was ever able to give me. In those days, anytime I wasn't perfect, it was treated as a purposeful act of stupidity, ungratefulness, carelessness, or disrespect, and...

...I kind of want to go up to her and tell her to go fuck herself for all the shit she put into my head. For teaching me that I was some kind of insufferable and annoying piece of shit, and that I shouldn't expect anyone to treat me any better than she used to. For teaching me that her “love” for me was the purest and most complete that I would ever receive.

Except. Ya know. All of that is false. The fact of the matter was that her expectations of me were absolutely fucking unreasonable and unattainable. They were ridiculous and wildly developmentally inappropriate. You cannot please someone who resents the very fact that you were born.

Even when I make mistakes, I don't have to fight to be treated with kindness and respect here. All I have to do is earnestly do my best. And that is what I am naturally inclined to do in the first place. I never had to be screamed at, guilt-tripped, insulted, intimidated, or belittled.

...But. Going to people's houses and trying to make them feel small, worthless, and unlovable by telling them to go fuck themselves is not how we do. It is not the way. I could try to have a conversation about these things with her, but she'll just list some 50 bazillion excuses as to why her treatment of me was justified and totally not her fault, and so I shouldn't be upset about the way it affects me now (we've been through this conversational cycle a lot, and... it kinda gets old).

When the person who did wrong by us cannot be reasoned with, the solution is not to try to hurt them or try to hurt ourselves or try to hurt someone else to get them to listen. Because they're not gonna, and because hurting people is wrong. The thing to do instead is to simply walk away from them, in favor of walking towards those people who are better capable of loving you. And... that's what I've done. The notion that no one will ever love you better than your biological family is a fucking myth and a lie, and I am proof of this.

Anyway, so I wasn't able to get many pictures today because I was all over the place. But I did manage to get this one; I put together a bunch of bags of stuffing bread:

Once my shift at work ended, I went home. I snagged this picture on the way out:

M needed to run an errand, so I decided to tag along with him as a means of spending time together. We went and got some snacks at a favorite spot. They have a new kind of sandwich there now – it's called a “chopped cheese” sandwich??? But it's more like ground beef mixed with American cheese and thrown on a roll with some burger toppings – stuff like onions, tomatoes, ketchup, mustard, mayo, and lettuce. It was REALLY GOOD:

And then, before I knew it, it was time to go to some gathering of people testing the board games they made. In a nearby town, there is a board game cafe that holds events like these. One of the games that some local person developed was a rather interesting take on Plinko – it was simple, yet strategic, and utterly delightful! The other game was some kind of card game with different classes of fantasy characters – a fighter, a bard, a mage, and a rogue. There are challenges, and you have to pass them by pulling cards. I'm having a hard time articulating the rules right now. But it was fun. Not as fun as the first game, but still! I played the fighter:

I heard of this event through a connection I made on the friend-making app I told you about before. M was supposed to go with us, because board games is one of his many passions, but he suddenly didn't feel well, so only J and I went. Still, it was a very good time!

And now I'm home. I've been home since maybe 9pm or so, and then I started writing this letter, and doing a load of wash, and... I also gotta get in the shower before bed, and... fwhoof.

My job wants me in tomorrow for another 9am-2pm. And I'm looking forward to it, but at the same time, I feel like I've not had much chance to breathe. I think tomorrow after work, I'm maybe gonna try taking a nap or something.

...Maybe I'll dream about drinking a tea with you. With a version of me whose face is already fixed, and so I won't have to worry about pulling out my braces beforehand and scrubbing out the inside of my face after the fact, hahaha...

...I ought to stop writing now in favor of taking that shower and heading to sleep. I... don't really want to. I could keep writing to you for a long time. But I've gotta tend to my body; bad things happen when we don't take care of ourselves.

Hey. I love you a whole lot. So promise me that you'll take good care of yourself, too, okay? Stay safe, and make kind, loving, and gentle choices while you're out and about, all right?

I'll write again soon.

Your friend, Lumine

[blushk1tten]

12 days of kinkmas 2024 ꨄ day 3

the naughty list (spanking + degradation)

schlatt was ready to snap, and you were anxiously awaiting it. you woke up that morning feeling irritable, like your skin was too small for your body. originally, you couldn’t figure out what was wrong, or how to fix your attitude. maybe it was the anxiety of the upcoming holidays? then, the more you noticed schlatt growing short with your temper, the more you realized your answer: you just needed a good, rough fuck from your boyfriend.

as a result, you began acting brattier than usual. you just lounged around, whining at schlatt to do things for you, and complaining about everything else that needed done without helping. you were acting like a spoiled princess, but you were close to getting what you wanted.

at least, you thought you were, until a final complaint from you caused schlatt to scoff, and his frustration began to leak out.

“i know what you’re doing, toots.”

“what am i doing?” you asked, voice dripping with faux innocence.

“you’re acting like a brat so i fuck you.”

“is it working?”

he chuckled, standing up and throwing you over his shoulder. “i’ll show you how it’s working.”

you were excited as he took you to your room and tossed you on the bed. then, he gave a single command: “strip.”

for once that day, you listened without complaint, tossing your clothes aside. once you were completely naked, schlatt grabbed you once again. however, rather than manhandling you beneath him or on top of him, he put you ass up across his lap. before you could process it, his heavy, large hand came down on your ass with a loud smack.

“jay!” you yelped, trying to look back at him and receiving another rough smack in reply.

“keep your head down and don’t complain,” he growled. “if you want to act like a brat, i’ll treat you like a brat.”

you tried to look back again, still protesting. “but—”

the crack of his hand against your skin had you going silent, save for a small whine. truly, being spanked wasn’t bad either, but you knew schlatt would draw it out and tease you. sure enough, schlatt began to list the rules, his hand gently kneading your ass.

“i was only gonna spank you ten times for being bratty today, but since you don’t know how to be quiet, i decided we’re adding five every time you talk,”

your mouth opened to complain, but you thought better of it and stayed silent. schlatt smirked at the sight. “good. you ready, toots?”

knowing the response he wanted, you nodded. then, it began. schlatt counted every slap and smack to your rear, all while you bit your lip to stop yourself from talking. however, to make it more torturous, he began talking you through it.

“i can see you biting your lip— eight—” he chuckled, bringing his hand down for another hard smack. “does my dirty little slut like this? are you trying not to beg for more?”

a whimper escaped you at schlatt’s words, making him give a small tsk on his next slap. “i could add five more for that, but i think you’d enjoy that too much. you fucking love the feeling of my hand on your ass, don’t you?”

as if proving his point, when he spanked you particularly rough for the tenth strike, your back arched and your ass came even higher up. it was like you were begging for more, even without your words.

“shit, toots,” schlatt groaned. “i don’t even feel like this is teachin’ you a lesson. you’re soaking my lap like the horny little brat that you are,”

he counted three more spanks, all done in rapid succession. then, he adjusted you in his lap. your head was hazy in the best way from the “punishment,” so you barely noticed until he began speaking again.

“i think i need to spank your stupid little pussy to teach you a lesson instead.”

a shriek of pleasure escaped you as, true to his word, schlatt’s fourteenth smack came down right on your core. the intensity you had been feeling turned up to eleven, and you could feel yourself growing wetter against his lap. after slap fifteen, you knew you were in trouble. your boyfriend clearly had a new goal in mind besides “punishing” you. his new goal was to make you cum while he spanked you. the feeling was creeping closer as well, especially as schlatt continued degrading you between strikes.

sixteen.

“you gonna cum, toots?”

seventeen.

“are you gonna squirt all over me like the naughty little slut you are?”

eighteen.

“i’d ask if you’re ever gonna act like a brat again, but i know you will after this.”

nineteen.

“you just can’t get enough of it, acting like you’re on the fuckin’ naughty list.”

it was perfectly timed, with your orgasm striking along with the twentieth and final spank. you could feel yourself soaking schlatt’s lap as you cried out, but couldn’t bring yourself to care. you couldn’t even process anything beyond the pleasure you felt and the pleasant sting in your ass and pussy.

when you finally came back to earth, your vision was still fuzzy. however, you could feel schlatt gently lying you on the bed so he could clean you up.

“you did so good, toots. i’m so proud of you.” he murmured, gently wiping you clean with a washcloth.

you giggled softly, watching him as your vision slowly returned to normal. “am i on the nice list now?”

schlatt just chuckled, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “yeah, you’re on the nice list now.”

[borntoocry]

the bread bully

synopsis: ellie has been a bully to YN for a while—since she arrived to jackson. and it’s been killing yn… because she has a crush on ellie. and what’s worse, she’s friends with her friends dina and jesse. on her birthday they throw a small get together for her, but what yn doesn’t know is that ellie is invited too. tension is high.

pt 2 soon ?

________

If I was born 20 years before the apocalypse began, I would have been celebrating my 19th birthday by sneaking into 21+ bars and drinking odd combinations of drinks beside a hot woman. Instead, I am celebrating my 19th by opening my father’s bakery. I’m invited to Dina’s to drink and smoke with her and Jesse, but as I set up the shop, I remind myself of who enjoys hanging around them… 

Ellie has never liked me. I say that despite her recurring presence at the shop every week. In exchange for sweet treats, she slaps a rude comment across my face and waits for my reaction. Said comments never fail to dim my smile, which I assume is what she wants. 

I like Ellie. She’s gorgeous–from her build to her hair and skin; the freckles that dot her face and make her look like the inside of a holiday snowglobe. I’ve had a crush on her since the day she arrived in Jackson. But to confess that, especially now, is like making a terrible joke to a room full of snobby teenagers and waiting for them to laugh in your face. 

When I shut the door to the pretzel rack, the door to the shop swings open. I look to the floor, knowing who it is walking in–Ellie, of course, with her old raggedy Converse and faded black jeans. I turn around and plug the coffee machine in, the smell instantly pouring out. I may not be a rude person, but the least I can do is fill the room with the scent of black coffee. 

“Hey,” Ellie says, her singular word sending a deathly shock through my chest. It felt as though I ate a bag of needles. “Get me a couple of chocolate muffins.” 

I feel my jaw twitch. I hate serving people whose vocabulary lacks please, and thank you, or “Could I get,” instead of “Get me.” Also, what number is a couple? Am I supposed to know that? 

I roll my eyes and reach for my gloves. However, before I slide them on, I pause. “Excuse me?” I say, which would have worked if I responded immediately. Now I just sound stupid. 

“Get me a couple of muffins.” Ellie doesn’t move a muscle or even a stupid brain cell, by the looks of it. She doesn’t catch on to the fact that I won’t get her, however many muffins constitute ‘a couple’ until she asks for them respectfully. 

I drop my gloves and tightly grasp the counter until my knuckles turn white. “I know what you said, I just–” 

“Then why are you acting like you don’t?” Ellie snapped. 

“You are literally just telling me to get you shit without being respectful. It’s like you know I’ll have to give these muffins to you.” 

“You don’t have to,” she answers with a shrug. That stupid, ugly shrug she does when she wants to sound smart. Like she has the entire fucked up world in her hands and she can do as she pleases. “But isn’t that what you do? Serve people? That’s your job–to get me what I need.” 

“Yes, I serve people, but that doesn’t mean you can be a dick. Why don’t you just say please, or thank you or–” 

“YN!” my dad shouts from the kitchen. He steps out with a rag mushed up in his hands. “Stop being rude and give the lady what she wants. Just because it’s your birthday doesn’t mean you can treat everyone how you want.”

I feel like ripping Ellie’s tongue out and slapping her with it. It was my birthday and she had already embarrassed me in front of my own dad. I was over her. 

“Oh shit!” Ellie exclaims. “It is your birthday, huh. That’s why I was invited to Dina’s.” 

I nodded. 

“Happy birthday young one,” she says as if she wasn’t rude to me a second ago. She pauses, steps back a bit, then taps her fingers against the countertop. “Could you still get me a couple of muffins though.” 

I rolled my eyes. “How many is a couple?” 

She scoffs. “Four.” 

I throw on my gloves, pick up her stupid muffins, and wrap them in the cloth she kindly slid onto the counter. I push them back to her and give her a curt smile. “Here ya’ go.” 

“Thanks,” she murmurs, grabbing her muffins and running off. 

It isn’t some kind of secret that I gained weight. Everyone knows, but no one has said  a thing. I guess it’s because it suits me well. I’ve been walking and running and lifting more than my dad, so I eat more. And with that… almost every part of my body has gained a bit of fat. The only issue is, my bra’s no longer fit. They suffocate my skin under my boobs and make them spill over. 

I stare at my body in the mirror and simply give up. My boobs are spilling out and I know my skin will bruise if I keep it on. I opt for a no bra kind of night, and wear two shirts: a spaghetti strap camisole and a long sleeve. I throw on my black jeans and boots and run over to Dina’s without saying a word to my dad. He knows where I’ll be. Plus, we already shared a birthday cake before we closed up shop. 

When I arrive at Dina's, I shove my shaking hands into my pockets. I don’t know if Ellie will be inside, but the thought of her staring into my soul with her ridiculing smile shakes me. 

The brown door swings open and there stands Dina holding a joint. “Come in,” she says with her large smile. 

I nod and step in, the shakiness slowly pooling beneath me. Until I hear the sound of her stupid Converse scuffing the floor followed by her laugh. All of a sudden the shakiness shoots up my body and paralyzes my bones. I stare at Dina as if Ellie didn’t tell me she was invited. I had an ounce of hope that she would decide to stay home–but she loved Jesse and Dina and wouldn’t miss hanging around them. 

“You okay?” Dina asks as her hand slides onto my shoulder. I flinch and my bones snap. 

I nod. “Yeah,” I respond, shaking my body out and taking a step. “Just forgot she’d be here.” 

She sighs and rubs her cool fingers down my shoulder. “Just… don’t acknowledge her.” 

I roll my eyes and walk past her, her hand falling and sweeping past my ass. “As if that’s easy to do.” 

She cackles and follows behind me to the kitchen where Jesse and Ellie are making drinks with homemade cranberry juice. They pick up the glasses without realizing we’re walking up to them. They almost drop them until I slide a hand over Ellie’s hip, gripping onto her and taking the drink from her hand. 

“Be careful,” I mutter and place the glass back on the counter. 

She clears her throat and steps back, her hands awkwardly maneuvering down her waist where she dusts her hips off. “You bumped into me,” she spits. 

“Sorry,” I say and raise my hands in mock defense. 

“Hmph,” she mutters. 

I laugh and take the glass back, sipping it quickly. “You surprised that someone has manners?” 

She wraps her hands around the counter and leans down until she’s staring down my eyes and breasts. “You’re still mad at me for that?” 

I take another sip and raise my eyebrows while the strong taste of liquor seeps down my throat. “No, just pointing it out,” I say, my voice implying another comment is lying on my tongue. 

She lets the silence become murderous before she speaks. A smart tactic, because I want to pull away and rethink all that I’ve said to her despite nothing overly insane snuck out of my mouth. I almost do–pull away and walk out of the room–but she speaks. 

“Why do you not like me?” she asks. She slides her hand across the surface and steals my drink–which was, I’m assuming, hers to begin with. She takes a sip and raises her eyebrows while I laugh absurdly. “What?”

I shake my head and push myself off the counter. I step back and shrug. “You asking that is the funniest thing I’ve heard all day,” I tell her. “Which is crazy considering what you were telling me this morning.” 

She finishes the last of her drink and pushes it into the sink. She hurries to me in long strides and grabs onto me. I turn to look at Jesse and Dina, hoping one of them would look at me and pause the situation, but they’re laughing, fucking one another with their eyes. Ellie slides me back around and I follow her to the back porch. 

The door slams and I’m next: Ellie slams my body on top of hers as she drops onto a chair. I dig my nails into her shoulders and gasp in her face. The natural scent of mint and cranberry wafts back into mine and I swallow down my breath. 

I pat her shoulder where my nails sinked in and push away from her. However, she grasps my biceps and presses me back into place. 

I look at her with small eyes and a frown etched onto my mouth. “I’m trying to get off,” I utter. 

“I know,” she replies. “But just stay. I want to know all about your little resentment towards me.” 

I can’t help but roll my eyes for the fifth time. I look away at the reviving grass and laugh. 

“Why are you laughing?” 

“Because.” I return my focus onto her and my smile fades as she doesn’t have one across her face. “Because you hate me.” 

She scrunches up her face and shakes her head. “What?” she asks–like she doesn’t know what the hell I mean. “No, I don’t.” 

I push off her with enough force to bounce off her lap. I stumble over my boots but hold onto the wood pole behind me. “No, you don't?” I gasp, trying to catch my breath after almost dying. “You come into my shop almost every single day just to make fun of me.” 

“That’s not true.” 

I scoff and shake my head, in such an angering way that it might spin off and knock her unconscious. “How? Are you going to gaslight me into thinking I’m just going crazy? Because I’m not. I might be a little younger than you but that doesn’t make me clueless.” 

“I didn’t say you were,” she mutters. 

I purse my lips and throw my hands in the air. Why try with this girl if it’s going to end in me almost popping a blood vessel. 

“I can’t fucking stand you,” I exclaim and walk back into the house. I walk directly to Jesse who is so happily making drinks in the kitchen. I grab the whiskey bottle and pour it directly into a glass. I’m not much of a whiskey drinker, but why not. 

I take the full glass to the front porch and drink it slowly as I look at the remaining people entering their homes after a long day. Soon enough, the streets will be empty and I’ll be left with the sound of chirping cicadas. 

And slowly, it does happen. I continue sipping on the never-empty whiskey in my glass and listen to the insects rummaging in the shrubs. No one really interrupts me besides Jesse who comes out to fill my glass and ask how I am. I say I’m fine, but he knows I’m not–he senses something happened with Ellie earlier, but he doesn’t ask. He knows I’ll talk about it later. 

As the night gets more lonely and darker, I feel the whiskey warming up my body. At one point my nipples were harder than rocks and I began shivering, but now I feel like a blanket has slid across my entire body. 

I feel nothing. Not even the disappointment from Ellie treating me like trash. But I don’t know why I didn’t expect her to act as if nothing happened when I brought it up. Now I just feel stupid. 

A knock at the door alarms me. I turn around and almost sink into the wooden steps. Ellie stands there with a joint in between her fingers with a box of matches and a drink in her other hand. 

“I’m okay,” I tell her and turn around. “Tell Dina and Jesse that I’m good.” 

“It’s your birthday,” she says. 

“Yeah,” I mumble, “I know.” 

“So why have you been outside for the entirety of this celebration? You do know this is for you, right? It’s not Dina or Jesse’s birthday.” 

“If you’re here to make me feel more like shit, you’ve done your job. Now please, go back inside.” 

“No.” 

“Ellie!” I exclaim, setting my glass down and wobbling up onto my feet. “What the fuck is your deal? Go back inside and leave me alone!” 

She extends her hand, palm up with the joint laying across it. “Peace offering.” 

I shake my head. “You just came out here and told me I ruined the night.” 

“Not what I said.” 

“You essentially did.” 

“Did the exact words come out of my mouth?” 

“Fuck you,” I spit, and bend down to collect my drink. But I guess I’m not as balanced as I thought I was, so I almost slam onto the ground. 

Ellie reaches out for me and grabs my waist, sitting me down alongside her. “Be careful,” she tells me, copying my words from earlier. 

“I don’t like you,” I mutter. 

“Cool,” she replies. She places the joint between her lips and lights it with the already burning match. She sucks in and blows out, the strong smell of weed funneling into my nose. “You wanna hit?” 

I take the joint and suck in as hard as I can. I almost cough out a lung, so I sip on my whiskey. Ellie doesn’t ask if I’m okay, but I have a feeling she cares because she takes the joint from me and grabs her drink. She pushes away my whiskey glass and instantly I drink whatever is in her cup. 

Juice. Homemade apple juice. 

I wrap my hands around her own and sip until there is nothing left. Her laugh overflows my senses after I drink enough to burst my bladder. She takes the empty cup and sets it on the ground, the same hand settling down on my back two seconds later. I feel her fingertips rolling over my spine and I shiver. I know what she’s doing–she wants to sleep with me so she can prove that despite being an asshole, you can still have your way; because she always does, have her way. 

I swivel around and stare at her and the hand that has fallen onto her lap. She runs it down her thigh then digs her nails into her knee. 

“What?” she asks. “Did I do something?” 

I nod and stand up, my balance remaining wobbly. “Yes. I mean, you come out here to talk trash about me, then you let me hit a joint, and you let me drink some of your juice. And it’s all for you to try and seduce me. So you can show everyone in Jackson how much of a spoiled whore you are.” 

Ellie’s eyebrows crinkle and her mouth falls into a frown. She stands up and walks towards me, her hand stretched out in an attempt to make me stand still. I stand still, but not for her. I want to let my words knock her down. 

“I’m not going to be another gay girl in Jackson that gives you what you want,” I tell her. Ellie seems hurt, her shoulders dragging on the ground, her chest heaving like I punched the air out of her. I shouldn’t care because she never does, but I feel like sewing my lips together. “What number am I?” 

“Stop,” Ellie mumbles. “That’s not even it. I’m not trying to seduce you, Y/N. I was trying to be nice .” 

I scoff. “Oh really?” 

She turns around and walks down the steps, kicking down the cup in her path. I don’t have a clue where she’s going, but with the guilt slowly chewing my insides, I follow her. 

I say Ellie’s name. 

She turns around and tries to walk faster, but there is nowhere to go or hide that I wouldn’t know of, so she stalls. “What?” she huffs. 

“I sounded rude,” I tell her. 

“Okay?” 

“I should have tried to word it differently.” 

She turns around with a smile. She dips her hands into her pockets and begins cackling, her hair shaking out of its ponytail. “You were rude, and you never are. It’s cool. Just surprised that you called me out on my shit.” 

I shake my head and head over to her. I stand directly in front of her with only a foot of distance between us. “I like you, Ellie,” I whisper. “But it hurts knowing you mess with other girls in Jackson. And you’re being mean to the one girl that truly likes you.” 

She avoids my gaze, instead shoving her fists deeper into her men’s jeans. I want to shout at her to look at me. How is it that she can throw foolish words at me while staring me down but as soon as I confess to her that it hurts liking her because of this, she can’t even bare her eyes. 

I laugh and take a step back. “You won’t even look at me when I’m talking to you. This means a lot to me–just telling you how I feel! And you won’t even share a fucking glance.” 

I stand there hoping she’s only quiet because she’s forming a coherent apology, but all she does is rock back and forth with a cold look on her face. 

I nod. She’s not going to apologize. She doesn’t even feel bad for what she’s done to me. So I back away and turn around, the alcohol draining from the bottom of my feet. 

— 

I’m sober when I walk back to Dina’s. I pick up my shattered glass outside and throw it into the trash. I pick the glass out of my hands and bandage it up. All in silence. Music streams from some part of the house, but I can only hear my humming. 

Dina and Jesse are somewhere, but I don’t know nor care. I just clean up and leave. 

I’m on my way home when I see a shadow grow behind me. The smell of pine–that isn’t the trees around me–invades my nose and I begin walking faster. 

My name is called a matter of three times before I even acknowledge it. 

“What?!” I shout. “Leave me alone, Ellie. I don’t want to talk to you.” 

Her body speed walks beside me. “Can you just listen?” 

“To your dumbass apology?” I ask. “No.” 

“Y/N,” she pleads. “Just look at me.” 

I scoff. “Why should I? You didn’t do the same for me.” 

“Okay well I’m looking at you right now. And I want you to look at me so I can offer a true apology.” 

I try to walk even faster to my house. Right now I’d rather run into the forest and let the clickers eat me. 

“Y/N!” she exclaims. 

I want to cry. I desperately need to release a tear. 

Ellie shoves herself in front of me and grabs my shoulders. “Please,” she says. “Please just listen.” 

I look into her eyes with a tear plopping onto my cheek. I shake my head and grab her hands, shoving them off me. “Why would I after you’ve spent so long ridiculing me in front of my own family?” I cry. “Fuck off Ellie. I don’t wanna hear it.” 

I push past her and make it to my house three minutes later. I push the door open and as soon as I step one foot inside, I cry my lungs out.

[shipskicksandgiggles]

I’m sending you this in an attempt to get my writing brain going. This idea just came to me like five minutes ago and is poorly thought out but here we go!

It’s the Fourth of July and Steve is hosting a party at his house for all his kids and the rest of their friend group. Everyone had shown up relatively on time except for Eddie. Steve had expected the metal head to be late since he’d protested the idea of celebrating patriotic capitalist ideals the minute that Steve had told him about the party. So when the phone finally rang almost two and half hours into the party, Steve was expecting it to be Eddie calling to make some bull shit excuse about why he couldn’t make it.

Steve had not been expecting Wayne to be on the other line. Steve’s heart felt like it had stopped dead in his chest and like his stomach had dropped down to his feet as he listened to Wayne explain that some of the jocks from high school had apparently come up with a plan to burn down the trailer and stage the scene like a firework mishap.

Eddie had caught them in the act but hadn’t been able to hold his own against Jason’s stupid gang of jocks. They had apparently beaten Eddie to a pulp and tossed him just inside the trailer before starting a fire and booking it out of there.

Wayne explained that he’d been awoken by the smell of smoke, Steve had not been happy to find out that their fire alarms had apparently been broken for some time and neither Wayne nor Eddie had the spare cash to buy new ones but that was beyond the point right now. Wayne had woken up just in time to rescue his bloodied and bruised nephew before the fire could do any real damage. However, Eddie had been close to the point of ignition and had sustained some minor burns to go along with his other injuries.

Wayne had apparently gotten Eddie to the hospital as soon as possible and wasn’t sure what state that the trailer would be in when they got back. He knew that his neighbors had been trying to put the fire out as he hurried to get his nephew help but who knew how much of the trailer as well as their belongings had been damaged…

But anyway so yeah that’s all I got. Just imaging Steve being pissed and worried all at the same time and he immediately invited Wayne and Eddie to stay with him and he nurses Eddie back to health etc. as usual I didn’t proof read this so hopefully it’s legible lol

oh wow I love this. if I was in any state to get up and get my computer, I’d be half way to writing this into a fic where Steve uses the experience as inspiration to become an EMT, because the Fourth of July is one of the more dangerous holidays out there, and he wants to be able to prevent anyone else from getting hurt like Eddie did

he’d take to it like a fish to water, and now when Eddie goes on his anti-patriot spiel, Steve just kisses his head and agrees, because he works with real heroes every day who aren’t nearly as recognized as they should be given the lives they save

[silverstarfics]

Virgil’s day of @thunder-pride !! Here, have something I wrote at 2am because who needs sleep schedules? (I’m joking. Please get some sleep, guys. Yes, this is directed at one person in particular). It technically follows on from my fic for Day 3, but it can be read as a stand alone too :)

AO3 link

Virgil hesitated in the doorway, quickly backed away before he could be spotted, then began pacing back-and-forth along the corridor again. At this rate he was likely to wear a hole in the patterned rug which Grandma had brought back from holiday, lying in pride of place at the foot of the stairs. He’d taken off his sneakers in an attempt to reduce this risk but even in socks it was still a distinct possibility.

“What’s wrong with you?” Gordon asked, knocking the front door shut with his heel. “Yo, Virg.” He kicked his shoes under the coat rack and peeled off his sweaty socks, tossing them at his brother’s head. “What’s up?”

Virgil slowed to a momentary halt. “What are you doing here?”

“Um…” Gordon shot him a weird look. “I live here?”

“Don’t you have swim practice?”

“That ended like twenty minutes ago.” Gordon’s voice grew muffled as he disappeared into the living room on the hunt for his hoodie. “So? Why are you acting like more of a freak than usual?”

“Thanks for that.”

Virgil propped himself against the wall and knocked his head back against the plasterwork with an inward groan. Gordon’s practice finished an hour after school, which meant he had officially been pacing in this corridor for seventy minutes. It was official – he was a disaster.

There was no reason for this to scare him so much. He knew his entire family would love and accept him regardless of his identity. And yet the idea of telling his grandmother that he had a boyfriend seemed comparable to holding a fully grown Huntsman spider in his bare hands which was saying a lot given his fear that was fast becoming undeniable arachnophobia.

God, this was so stupid. He knocked his head against the wall again, this time with an audible thud.

“Uh, Virg?” Gordon peered around the door. “I know I was giving you shit before, but, like… are you okay? Because pacing in the corridor is usually Scott’s thing. You don’t have to take over just because he’s at Yale now. This house doesn’t actually need holes in the floor. There are already enough in the walls.”

“That’s because you keep kicking soccer balls indoors.”

“Really? That’s the part you focussed on?”

Virgil slid down the wall to land in a sorrowful heap.

“I’m…” He flapped a hand vaguely.

“Annoying? A total dork?” Gordon grinned. “I’ve got a whole list, I can keep going.”

“I don’t know how to be a functional person,” Virgil corrected, drawing his knees up to hide his face.

He wrapped his arms around his legs and willed himself to become invisible. Or maybe sink through the fabric of reality into a universe where conversations didn’t fill him with dread and ordinary, everyday things such as speaking in class or getting a lower grade or holding a boy’s hand in a corridor didn’t terrify him.

It was so, so dumb. Sometimes he wondered if Scott had stolen all the confidence genes and left none for the rest of them, only Gordon seemed to flourish in any environment which sort of disproved that theory.

Steps creaked on the broken floorboard to his right that no one had gotten around to replacing. He didn’t lift his face from his knees. It was easier to keep his eyes shut and just focus on breathing, which had suddenly become a lot harder than it should have been. Someone flicked him on the head but he only registered the sting as background noise.

“Virgil?”

At fourteen, Gordon was now steadfast in his belief that he was ‘basically an adult already’ but every so often a very childlike fear would creep back into his voice. This was one such instance.

“Um, Virg? You need to breathe. That’s an actual thing humans have to do to stay alive.” He let out a nervous laugh. “Dude, I’m not kidding. You’re kinda freaking me out here. Do I need to get Grandma? Or we could call Scott but he’s probably busy with annoyingly cool college stuff. I mean, we could try ringing John because he’s a nerd with no social life so everyone at Harvard definitely thinks he’s a weirdo, but I’m not sure what use he’d be.”

It was easy to tell when Gordon was nervous because he started rambling. And yeah, he’d recently undergone a transformation into a bit of an obnoxious, rude teenager, but he still had a kind heart and behind closed doors he was still a good brother too, even if he refused to let the rest of the world see it yet. So, it wasn’t really too much of a surprise when he plonked himself down next to Virgil and shuffled close enough to press their shoulders together.

“So,” Gordon declared with a healthy dose of fake cheer. “How’s your day going?”

Virgil choked on a damp laugh which made him cough. This had the bonus of resetting his breathing rate even if it was fairly gross. “You know, shockingly, I think I’ve had better.”

Gordon elbowed him lightly. “Do I need to murder someone?”

Virgil dragged the back of his hand across his eyes with a sniff. “Yeah, right. How are you gonna murder anyone in my grade, short stuff?”

“Fair point. Why are all juniors so freakishly tall this year? Apart from you, obviously. Anyway, I could totally take out their kneecaps. I know a girl on the lacrosse team and she’d lend me a stick. Just… whack, you know? Or I could publicly humiliate them. I’ve still got stink bombs left over from last summer. Just say the word and I’ll ruin them.”

Virgil exhaled in a rush. “Nobody did anything.” He twisted his hands together. There was still paint dried under his nails and he longed to return to earlier’s art lesson when he’d made up his mind to come out to Grandma and had felt so certain about it. “It’s just… me.”

“The thing that’s bothering you is… yourself?” Gordon tilted his head with a confused frown. “I know I’m the family idiot, but that doesn’t make a lot of sense, Vee.”

“Hey.” Virgil thumped him on the arm. “Don’t call yourself an idiot.”

Gordon just looked at him.

“You’re not an idiot.”

“Yeah, okay, tell that to my Physics paper. Anyway, that is so not the point right now. How are you upsetting yourself? Seems kinda dumb to me. Unless this is a new thing you’re trying? Tortured young artist, some crap like that.”

Virgil fought a smile. “No, it’s not a thing. It’s just…”

“You?”

“Me.”

Gordon slid down the wall with a loud groan. “Virg, you’re killing me here. We’re going in circles. I feel like I’m swimming laps again. Just tell me already, jeez.” He shuffled to sit in front of Virgil, propping his chin in his hands with a mischievous smile. “Tell me, tell me, tell me. Are you getting annoyed yet? Because I won’t stop until you tell me, tell me, tell me, tell-”

“I think I’m pansexual.”

“-me. Wait, what?”

Virgil stared at the flecks of dried paint on his jeans. His voice sounded embarrassingly small as he repeated softly, “I think I’m pansexual.”

“You think or you know?”

“I know.”

“Huh. Cool.” Gordon frowned. “Wait, is that what’s been bothering you? Because you know none of us are homophobic asshats. Also, like, have you met John? No way he’s straight. And I made out with Robby at Taylor’s party so I’m definitely not- I mean, uh, I made out with Robby at a place that was totally not Taylor’s house because of course I didn’t go to a party when Dad said I was grounded.”

Virgil wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry. There were too many emotions crammed into his chest. He ended up making a humiliating broken noise that was partway between a sob and a laugh.

Gordon awkwardly wrapped his arms around him, uncertain whether a hug was welcome, and Virgil melted against him, trying to pretend as if his eyes weren’t welling. He tucked his face into his little brother’s shoulder and fought back tears.

“Hey, Virg?” Gordon sounded uncharacteristically genuine. “It’s okay. You know it’s okay, right? Like, you’re my brother and I support you and, I dunno, love you or something. So, um, you don’t need to worry about that.”

“Thanks.” Virgil drew an unsteady breath. “Really. Thanks. That… helps.” He withdrew to wipe tears from his face, ducking his head to hide his expression. “You need a shower, by the way. You stink of chlorine.”

“Dude, I just spent an hour in a pool. What did you expect?” Gordon moved to sit beside him again, stretching his legs across the corridor and cracking his knuckles just to see Virgil cringe. “So… have you got a girlfriend? Boyfriend? Partner?”

“Oh my god.”

“What? I’m curious.”

“We’re not having this conversation.”

“Oh, but we are.” Gordon fished a celery crunch bar out of his pocket and tore the wrapper open with his teeth. “So?”

“I might have a boyfriend.”

“I knew it!” Gordon let out a delighted laugh. “I’ve always wanted to threaten someone. Like, if you ever hurt my brother I will hunt you down and destroy you.”

“I’m officially never introducing you. Anyway, I feel like you’re forgetting the part where I’m the big brother here. It’s my job to threaten your dates.”

“Yeah, but you’re… you know?”

“No?”

Gordon gestured vaguely. “You have soft feelings.”

“Okay, we’re done here.”

“Aw, Virg, c’mon…”

“Bye, Gordon, see you later.”

“Don’t you mean bi Gordon?”

“Huh?”

Gordon hauled himself upright with a sigh. “Never mind. Go tell Grandma about your boyfriend. She might get distracted enough that she forgets to make dinner and we can order pizza.”

Virgil hesitated. “Hey, uh, Gordon?”

“Nope. I don’t want to hear it. I know that face. Don’t go bringing all your gross emotions into my space. You’ll ruin my vibe.” Gordon pushed him towards the kitchen. “Go!”

[huffelpuff210]

Tis the season Part 1

Tis the season part 1

You absolutely hated Christmas time. It wasn’t because of all the cheerful music, Or the festivity that would happen in the tower, You really came into you're own since the day Steve and Bucky rescued you from HYDRA three years ago, And sure you were just a teenage girl but there were certain things you just couldn’t discuss with them.

You were just a normal girl before everything went to shit. You were only five years old when someone broke into the house that night killing you're entire family as you hid in a hidden compartment under the floor boards, listening to you're mother and father’s screams from above. hearing the entire home being torn to pieces as if they were looking for something. You're life changed drastically after that, running from the home the moment they left. You were absolutely terrified.

“Hello? You still in there?” You are brought out of you're thoughts as Peter waved his hand in front of you're face. “What did you say?” You asked looking at him as the two of you walked out of the school. “I said you going to the Christmas party tonight?” He asked “No thanks, I have somewhere i need to be.” You say dryly Peter looked at you questionably. Not really sure where you had to be since everyone in the tower was going to the Christmas party. You never told Bucky or Steve about why you didn’t like Christmas. You didn’t tell them what had happened that night. all they knew was that you're parents were killed. But they weren’t stupid they knew for some reason you're demeanor always changed for some reason or another. But they never pushed you to tell them. sure they are considered you're guardians since you don’t have any, and because they can handle you when you get out of line since you are a super solider like them with the same amount of strength as them.

“You and peter got off the elevator and you just wanted to stab you're ears with a knife. there was Christmas music blaring. you can hear Tony giving Steve and Thor instructions where to put the tree. You see everyone doing some sort of chore, hanging lights, to baking cookies, to decorating, you let out a frustrated sigh, “Hey kids how was school?” Tony asked “Good! So glad it’s Christmas vacation!” Peter says letting out a sigh as he flops on the couch, You just roll you're eyes and start walking towards you're room, “Where you going?” Tony asked “My room.” You say dryly and continue without waiting for any kind of response You arrive to you're room throwing your bag in the corner of the room. letting out a sigh, You stare out the window of you're room as see that it has already started to snow. you walk into the walk in closet changing into a pair of Grey leggings, a plain black tee shirt with a zip up hoodie and a pair of running shoes, You leave the room with a sigh taking the back staircase so no one catches you ditching the party that you didn’t want to go to. It was useless you didn’t like the holidays around this time of year anyway. So why bother acting like you do.

Bucky was in the living-room looking out the window watching as you left the tower without telling anyone again, it was the same year after year since they rescued you, always around the same time every year. He crosses his arms. Steve is now standing next to him seeing what he’s looking at. He lets out a frustrated sigh. “Looks like she’s ditching the party again.” Bucky says “Looks like it.” Steve sighs “You two got any clue on where she even goes?” Nat asked they both shake their heads. “Wish I knew.” Bucky says Steve nods agreeing with his friend. “Girl really doesn’t like Christmas parties.” Tony says They both give him a glare He holds his hands up in surrender “I’m just saying, “Well don’t no one asked you.” Bucky says and starts walking towards the elevator “Where are you going?” Nat asked “To find out where the hell she goes.” He says not waiting for a reply You stand in the cemetery with two roses in you're hand laying each one on top of both of the graves. looking down at both graves. “Hey, I’m sorry I haven’t come by lately…” You say as you look down at the graves almost in a daze, You come here every year, since they died, You were the reason they were killed. You're uncle organized the entire thing, to hand you over to HYDRA for money, HYDRA needed a child to withstand the super solider serum. The guilt you carried always weighed you down. It was your fault they are no longer here. that is why you never tell anyone where you go. what happened. And why you hate Christmas so much. It was all you're fault and you needed to carry that guilt with you until you are no longer living.