#like my routine and build up and emotions and reasons

[thepartyishere]

do I just live with the empty ache forever?

therapy in 10 min <33

[notanactressyayy]

₊˚⊹♡ 𝐚 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞

— ₊⊹ 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 . WandaNat x fem! virgin! reader

— ₊⊹ 𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 . [based on this request.] Natasha and Wanda's relationship was going well... when talking generally. — they completed each other. but something was still missing. and there was no better person to reach out to, other than you, their closest friend. will you allow them to show you a whole new concept of.. love?

— ₊⊹ 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 . smut! i am not responsible for your content consumption! — established relationship, soft doms WandaNat, subby reader, little bit of angst on the begining if you look very closely, swearing, reader's first time, threesome, making out, Wanda's enchanted strap, breast play (r receives), penetration (r receives), oral (N receives), multiple orgasms, cum eating, pet names, aftercare.

— ₊⊹ 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒔 . english is not my first language (🇧🇷) so i apologize for any spelling errors! feedback is highly appreciated!! <3

never thought it was so hard to write a threesome 😭

divider credits: @anitalenia . ݁₊

small droplets of sweat started to build on Wanda's hairline, ready to roll down — soft pants and huffs leaving her mouth as she desperately tries to increase the pace, the pace that was already fast — she tries to accelerate even more. to get Natasha there, like she always did. but for some reason, it wasn't working. it wasn't being of any use. no matter how she tried to change positions, or angles.. Natasha just breathed heavily, with no result.

"stop, stop.." Natasha pants out and pats Wanda's shoulder, multiple times. "stop, baby. 'ts okay."

the woman reluctantly slows down her movements and groans, a mixture of tiredness and frustration.. and a little bit of sadness. right now, she was feeling so, so incapable, worthless. since when did that happen? since when a woman couldn't even bring her girlfriend an orgasm?

eventually, she pulls the strap out of her, making Natasha hiss quietly due sensitivity. she turns on her back and removes the strap off herself, waving her hand to disenchant it. her hand reaches out and puts the toy on the nightstand. the witch's eyes squeeze tight, clearing her throat as she does her best to catch her breath again.

Natasha of course, didn't need Wanda to tell her how she was feeling. as a spy, and like anybody else in this situation, she knew it. the russian weakly turns on her side and wraps her arm around Wanda's waist, placing her head on her shoulder and looking up into her eyes. deep down, both of them knew this wasn't physical.. it was phychological. lately, whenever it came to sex, both their minds couldn't completely focus on each other — and it wasn't fault of either of them. their toughts always wandered to her, that girl.. you.

"i'm sorry," Wanda whispers, wrapping her arms around Natasha and pulling her to herself. she sighs heavily and nuzzles into her soft red locks. "i'm sorry."

her heart was at war. battling to decide between giving into her desires, or holding back, in respect to Natasha. she just didn't know that the russian felt the same way. both of them did towards you. you're their closest friend, not an avenger, but an ordinary girl. thinking about that, it made sense — two people with a fucked up past, heavy emotional baggage, needed someone like you in their lives. someone soft, gentle, almost innocent, to say at least. the way you dressed, the way you smelled. always captivated the redheads. in the middle of all the chaos they called life, you were their beautiful, sweet escape of routine.

"don't apologize." Natasha replies, voice low and husky as she traces imaginary patterns on Wanda's chest. "i can't read minds like you do, so why don't you tell me what you're thinking about?"

Wanda chuckles at the remark, and turns her head to look at her girlfriend. she takes a slow, shaky breath again. she knows she can't hide anything from Natasha, and wouldn't try to. "look. can you listen to everything i got to say, before making any conclusions or saying anything else?"

Natasha nods, giving her a small, genuine smile, that showed patience. so Wanda started talking again.

"it's.. it's not easy to talk about this, i admit. it's like a taboo, and stuff.. we've been together for three years now, and i love you. i love you so much. i always tell you that and i always mean it. we help each other, we work together, you're the perfect fit for me, Nat. but.. lately, i've been thinking a lot about.."

"i know." Natasha interrupts anyway, and her smile doesn't vanish. "i know you have. i see it. and god, I think about her too."

surprise immediately shows in Wanda's wide eyes, and she exhales the air she was holding. relief washed over her being, even if Natasha hadn't elaborated yet.

"Wanda, darling." she chuckles, nuzzling closer and placing her hand on the woman's cheek. "we struggle sometimes. and it's not our fault. she's a ray of sunshine. it's everything we need, don't you think?"

"are you saying that we should consider.." Wanda says, in a softer tone.. her hand finds it's way to Natasha's back, nails tracing her spine. the mere thought already got her in a better mood. "inviting.. her.. in?"

"yeah." Natasha bits on her bottom lip. both of them had never tried a threesome before, but it seemed like a good idea. it felt like a good idea. if they both had thoughts and maybe even feelings for you, why don't act on them? "let's invite her tomorrow. tomorrow night."

"oh, Natasha." Wanda chuckles, understanding the implication. she leans down to peck Natasha's lips, and looks at her with a new sparkle in her eyes. "are you sure? completely sure about this? i never, ever want to hurt you, or make things weird between us—"

"we trust her. and basically, the only reason that we've been failing is because we want her and don't act on it." Natasha raises her eyebrows and pokes Wanda's nose, then wraps her arms around her neck. "and also. she's not a child. we'll talk about everything, and if it doesn't work out, we'll just seek another solution."

they both stay silent for a moment, and Wanda agrees. she giggles to herself, pulling the blankets over them and snuggling against Natasha, their legs tangling. they went to sleep happily, the tension from before eased because of you. they would just wait for the next day, and hope for the best.

₊˚⊹♡

the word to describe what you were feeling in that moment was: anticipation.

Natasha and Wanda had never invited you over to their place like this: at night, with no special occasion. they had told you they wanted to see you again, and to talk about a few things. you had absolutely no clue about what it was, so jumping to the most probable conclusion was what you did: a casual catch up.

yeah, for sure.

Wanda was the one to open the door after you knocked, and she shamelessly looked at you from head to toe, which got your eyes to snap open. you cleared your throat as she took in the sight of you, in a small, pink dress that covered just a little more than your ass — hair falling down your shoulders, a light makeup.

"Natasha," she calls out, tilting her head towards you. "you gotta see this,"

okay, you were so confused. first, one of your friends that was taken, clearly looks at you in a not so friendly way, and now, she's calling her girlfriend to do the same? you stand there, flustered, a little disoriented.

the other redhead comes. she opens the door wider so she could see you better, and stops in track when her eyes land on your figure. they exchange looks, and silently communicate — as if saying, why didn't we think of this before?

"come in, sweetheart." the russian says and allows you inside the house, closing the door right after.

you observe as the two of them talk between themselves, quickly finishing so they could return their attention to you. they notice how nervous the greeting had made you, and decide to get straight to the business. they sit on the couch, letting a little space between them and patting on it, so you could sit. you place your purse on the entrance counter and chuckle nervously, then walk towards them and sit where they wanted you to.

"so... hi!" you finally speak, still feeling a little awkward. "uhm.. is everything okay with you two?"

"absolutely." Wanda nods, shifting on her seat. her knee brushes against yours as she places her hand on your cheek, thumb caressing your jawline. "you just look so beautiful right now, we couldn't resist."

as she speaks, Natasha's hand lands on your thigh, and you were absolutely sure you looked redder than a tomato right now. but it still felt wrong. you gently placed your hand above both of theirs to still their touches.

"i don't get it."

"alright, dorogaya. that's the whole reason we invited you over." Natasha says and Wanda nods, allowing the russian to explain. "first, we want you to know that is absolutely alright if you don't feel comfortable with this. you can just say 'no' and leave, we're not forcing you into something you don't want to."

by this moment, just with those vague words, combined with their previous actions, you had a slight idea of what this was about, and it made you shiver. ever since you met them, you had a little crush on both, but they were avengers. superheroes, powerful, and older than you. they're gorgeous women that unfortunately were taken— well, you felt lucky just for having their friendship.

"we've been thinking about you. a lot." Natasha admits with a deep breath and purposefully scoots closer, making you almost a little sandwich with them. "the way you talk to us.. the way you look at us whenever we're together."

"like right now. the way your eyes are sparkling." Wanda breathes, her arms sneaking around your waist and her chin on your shoulder.

"you're so perfect.. so precious to us, detka." Natasha whispers and wraps her arms around you too, tilting her head and pressing a kiss on Wanda's forehead, then on yours. "so we want to know, if you're okay with trying out with us."

a deep sigh leaves you, and you melt like a puddle between the women. your weight leans on Wanda's body, and your eyes travel from one to the other. your defenses vanished, completely, and the thought of this being.. uncommon, was buried deep down in your mind.

"trying out?" your voice sounds more like a whimper, and your hand grabs Natasha's wrist, that still rested on your thigh.

"yeah.. trying out." Wanda whispers on your ear, her hand turning your hair into a makeshift ponytail, exposing your neck for them. "just for tonight.. then we'll give you time to think."

"but i never.." you stutter, feeling Natasha's warm breath on your neck, as her lips began trailing kisses there — right above your pulse. "i-i've never.."

"it's okay." Wanda breathes in your ear, watching as Natasha took her sweet time to taste you, feel the softness of your skin. "we're gonna take care of you."

"i never.. i never had.." you continue, voice becoming weaker and weaker. "i never went beyond kisses.."

that was new information. Natasha slowly pulled away from your neck and exchanged a look with Wanda. so you were still a virgin. that just turned them on even more. they'd be the first ones to play with you, make you their good girl.

"god, sweetheart." the witch purrs, her hands cupping your waist and giving it a little squeeze. "you have no idea what you're doing to us."

the action coaxes a soft, needy sound out your throat, head lolling backwards against her shoulder.

"please, baby. let us have you." Natasha begs. you don't gotta be asked twice.

₊˚⊹♡

the room was dark — burgundy walls, the yellow light of the dim lamp casting on the furniture and being the only source of illumination. you couldn't put in words the way you felt. Natasha, naked, the freckles on her pale skin on display for you. toned breasts, muscular arms. red hair naturally wavy, not straightened like she usually had it. she looked like a true goddess. her gaze, hungry yet tender, had you frozen in place.

Wanda's hands guided you towards the bed — her chest against your back, an amused chuckle leaving her. you looked so innocent. it was clear you never even thought of the possibility of that.

"look at her," Wanda coos. Natasha's eyes remain glued on you, but travel to your body as Wanda starts to slowly get that dress off you. her pointer and thumb pull the zipper down and the straps fall down your shoulders, revealing your bra. she kisses your shoulder and places her palms flat on your stomach, letting them roam downwards, to your hips, and pulling the pink fabric of the dress down, as it pools around your feet. the woman hum together in satisfaction, being allowed to see your half-naked body. "such a precious little thing. now go with Nat and watch me strip."

you couldn't help but blush a little bit under their gaze, and the way they were addressing to you. doing as you're told, you climb on the bed, and Nat spreads her legs. your heart hammers against your ribcage. she only did that so you could lay against her chest, but accidentally — or not — your eyes landed on her intimacy, and the slick arousal that was almost dripping down her thighs.

"oh my god, Natasha." you moan, allowing her to pull your back against her chest. she smirks, unclasping your bra and tossing it aside.

now, it's Wanda's turn to get the unnecessary clothes off her. she firstly discard her blouse, then her jeans, and lingerie — she uses her foot to kick the pile of clothes away, and walks to the nightstand, opening the drawer and pulling out the.. toy. it does get you a little tense. but they had a way of showing you there was no reason to be. with a wave of her hand, the strap is enchanted, and she will be able to feel everything. everything she dreamed of with you.

"we will take good care of you, kotenok." Natasha whispers and grabs your chin, tilting your head up — and kissing you.

a kiss never felt so good. throughout your whole life, you never had a kiss like this one — warm, slow, needed. her tongue mingled with yours, slender fingers tangling in your hair to keep you in place. Wanda watches with a hungry, almost predatory gaze as she sees her two favourite women making out. she climbs on the bed with you and hooks her fingers on the waistband of your panties, pulling them down — your hips instinctively lifting to make her work easier. you were slowly letting yourself go.

Natasha releases your lips, panting. her hands pull you back even more against herself, pressing your body against hers and go to your breasts, kneading the skin, slowly, massaging them, knowing exactly how to pleasure you. you moan sweetly, throwing your head back against her shoulder as her fingers pinch your hard nipples.

"that's it, baby." Wanda hums, satisfied with the scene. she liked that you were comfortable with them, which meant she could do everything she wanted.

you don't even realize as they start to adjust your body, the positions — Natasha brings her knees up and spread them a little, Wanda bringing your legs around Natasha's, so you were completely spread and open.

"oh, fuck." she says, knees digging into the mattress as she takes a good look between your legs. "such a beautiful pussy. can't believe we're the only ones to have it."

her words make you gasp, and your back arches a little — but before you could do anything, her cock was already stretching you out, with little effort. the woman groans, placing her hands on your waist and hovering you. she leans up and kisses Natasha, a low chuckle leaving her as she whispers. "so warm and wet. she's a perfect girl."

"we're not gonna let you go," Natasha whispers in your ear. her arms wrap around your waist, securing you, and with that, Wanda starts moving.

her movements are gentle — not too slow, not too fast, showing you how it was to be deliciously filled up. the new, foreign sensations consume you, breath coming out in soft gasps. your eyes look at the redhead who was fucking you, half-lidded, in pure bliss, adoration. the strap drags up your sensitive walls, until the tip was the only thing inside of you, then pushes back in, discovering spots you had never found before with your own fingers.

"oh my god," you grip Wanda's shoulder with one hand, and intertwine your fingers of the free hand with one of Natasha's that held your waist. your hips buck upwards, matching the movements with Wanda's cock pounding inside you. "feel so good,"

"you're so tight, detka," Wanda mutters, feeling her climax starting to build up. she had to speed up, had to feel you more, clenching around her so perfectly.

"s-shit... ah.." you moan and arch your back, doing your best not to fall apart that quickly. but Natasha doesn't allow you to hold back.

her hand slides down your stomach, to where Wanda was connected with you, and starts to rub lazy circles on your clitoris, looking up at her girlfriend with a satisfied smirk. "you can come for us,"

"i'm close too," Wanda moans, head lolling back as she grips your hips tighter, chasing after her so needed release, which doesn't take long to come.

your vision starts to blur a little, not being able to focus on anything specific. your eyelids fall shut, and all the sounds around fade — the first real orgasm you ever had washing over you. an almost pornographic moan echoes on the room, coming from your throat, and your legs tremble around Natasha's — cum coating Wanda's strap, juices rolling down your legs and mixing with Natasha's who was under you. Wanda's climax comes right after and she quickly pulls out, painting your stomach white as you laid there, dumb and cute, drained.

Wanda rolls on her back and closes her eyes, the high still present. she hadn't felt that good in so, so long, she had missed it so much. now it's Natasha's turn to take control.

she carefully lays you down next to her and licks Wanda's release from your stomach, missing the taste of it. she takes some on her fingers and point them at your mouth. "open up,"

you blush softly, opening your mouth and welcoming Natasha's fingers in. your tongue swirls around her digits, swallowing obediently.

"good job, malyshka." she praises, cradling the side of your head and pressing a kiss on your forehead. you look at her up and down, then weakly sits up on the bed.

"wanna taste you too, Natty," you say, and it drives her crazy.

undoubtedly, Natasha was more than dripping, and yes, she wanted you to teach you how to eat a woman out. she leans back against the headboard of the bed and intertwines her fingers with her tired girlfriend, winking down at her. she spreads her legs. "come over here, princess."

your legs, still shakily, dig into the mattress and you settle yourself on your knees, hands holding Natasha's thighs apart as your face approaches her core. she was so sensitive and achy.. and you'd repay her, for everything she had done. it shocked her, you didn't show inexperience — your tongue licked a long strip, slipping between her folds and brushing inside her, stimulating her g-spot and making her mouth agape. her fingers gently tug on your hair, pulling you closer, pressing your face against her cunt. your nose brushes her clit, and it doesn't take long for Natasha to cum too.

"oh, malyshka.." she stutters out between moans and whimpers, hips bucking upwards as she released. "s-such a.. perfect.. mhm.. girl.."

you swallow her sweet juices, pressing a kiss on her inner thigh and pulling your face back. just by watching both of their expressions, a tired and proud expression showed on your face, knowing you did a great job.

₊˚⊹♡

now, the digital clock on the nightstand showed 2AM. the sheets were crumpled, blankets all over the floor, long forgotten. you laid there, naked and vulnerable on the bed, waiting for Wanda and Natasha to come back to the room.

when they did, they were both wearing silky robes — Natasha held aspirin and a bottle of water, and Wanda, a cloth, and an additional robe that they hoped would fit you.

they walk towards you and Natasha places the items on the nightstand, sitting on the edge of the bed. she carefully handles your body and pulls you onto her lap, holding you closely, your side against her chest. you felt warm again, fuzzy, happy.

"you were perfect, sweetheart." Wanda smiles, carefully spreading your legs and using the cloth to clean the sticky cum still there. you whimper, feeling a little stingy and sore.

"we got aspirin for tomorrow, in case you need it." Natasha grabs the water bottle and opens it, bringing it up to your lips, helping you sip on it. "there you go..."

"now, we'll sleep. and tomorrow we are gonna prepare you a nice warm bath." Wanda chuckles and puts away the cloth, closing your legs afterwards.

you all settle on the bed comfortably again, having to grab the blanket from the floor and cover you up. you sigh softly, lying between them and gathering courage to speak.

"was this just... a playtime?"

that question was expected, and they were ready for it. they sweetly smile and replied in sync.

"you are our missing piece."

para o anon que fez o pedido: mto mto obrigada!! eu sei que adicionei várias coisas, porém eu precisava de um contexto para encaixar o seu pedido. espero que tenha ficado bom! 🥹

[f1amour]

✧˚ · . 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐌𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐀 𝐒𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐎𝐑

pairing: max verstappen x mexican!reader, charles leclerc x mexican!reader

word count: 4.4k

summary: being introduced to their once rival and falling for them was not what you expected but after struggling in your current relationship to feel loved maybe they were exactly what you needed

authors note: i feel like this made no sense lmao no build up but i tried my best i never wrote about a love triangle so it wasn’t my best interpretation of it therefore why i felt i didn’t create a good build up. also google translate was my bff so forgive me for any mistakes. highly recommend listening to sailor song by gigi perez some of the lyrics (hence the title) heavily inspired me <3

warnings: ANGST but happy ending :) no cheating, suggestive content, established relationship, takes place in 2023 — 18+, minors please do not interact!

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You knew what love meant. The definition behind it and you knew people who were in love, you knew everything about love. You showed your love to your friends by making memories with them or gift giving and with each friend it was something special. You paid attention to their likes and dislikes because you love them.

But you didn't know love as you grew up in a household filled with yelling and resentment. Now at the age of 23 you felt that you finally had someone who will love you the way you love others.

Someone who will love you loudly and proudly.

Being in a relationship with Charles for three years now you'd think he would be a bit more affectionate in public. You didn't expect to make out, you just needed his touch. You wanted to hold his hand in public without him scolding you that it wasn't a good look.

Our relationship wasn't a good look?

A question you'd always ask when he'd imply any public displays of affection wasn't a good look for himself and his team. You are being overdramatic. Would be his answer all the time and you'd go along with it. You loved him so much that seeing his flaws would fly over your head. You avoided all the red flags in the relationship because for the first time you loved someone and maybe if you loved them enough they could learn to love you.

It took Charles two years to say he loved you and you were fine with it. You never rushed him to say those three words despite you saying them first only a year into dating. Love took time and everyone had their own time to say those words. The two years with Charles before he said I love you was your favorite time together. He was affectionate (behind closed doors). Kind. Patient.

He was everything you ever wanted in a relationship but that all changed after he told you he loved you. In a way you thought the only reason he said those words was because of your argument after the 2022 Abu Dhabi Grand Prix.

He had finished in 2nd and was disappointed with the results at him still not being a world champion. Being asked by the press if there was anything that was distracting him that could have cost him the championship.

"Some distractions are definitely the reason both professionally and...personally. I think some personal distractions won't happen again for next year."

You were fuming when you heard that and what was worse you were standing right there a few feet away and like the good girlfriend you are, you couldn't show any emotion. Your smile faltered for only a second but then immediately a fake smile stayed on, unaware a pair of blue eyes watching wishing they could comfort you.

Giving Charles the silent treatment for a week he could see you were prepared to leave the relationship after his comment so he decided to plan a weekend getaway on a yacht while on the Amalfi Coast. During a romantic dinner he said those three words and promised he'd be a better man in the relationship. That lasted only a month.

─────────────────────────

You were back in the routine of being ignored by Charles while out in public and sometimes even at home. Tonight was no different as you guys sit in a secluded corner of a local club while he talks to Pierre while you sit there awkwardly hoping for someone to at least acknowledge your presence.

If Lando or Arthur were here you'd be ecstatic because at least they would actually talk to you. You don't know why Charles even invited you to come along for drinks with him and Pierre but you assumed he wanted to spend some time with you. Now you regret coming out seeing as he is doing what he always does at home; ignore you.

"Max!" Your thoughts are interrupted by Charles voice calling the name of a person you have yet to formally meet.

Max Verstappen. A name you heard from everyone, especially your boyfriend who shared his hatred for the man when he first came into formula one but recently it’s seemed like they’ve both been getting along.

But that’s all you knew seeing as Charles never even introduced you to each other despite sharing many podiums together and being at the same parties a few times.

“Hello.” Max waves awkwardly at you after Charles introduces you quickly before focusing back on his conversation with Pierre.

“Hi.” You smile awkwardly not really knowing what else to say. Being in his presence was a bit intimidating, always hearing stories of his tough demeanor on the track so you assumed he’d be the same off the track.

“I’m leaving.” You whisper to Charles and it catches his attention. He begins asking why you’re leaving so early when you’d just arrived an hour ago and you make up an excuse saying you don’t feel well.

You’ve ignored me this whole time. Why would I want to be here?

You wanted to say that but knew it would lead to yet another argument so he just waves you off and you grab your purse quickly hoping to avoid anyone seeing your tears.

“It was nice to finally meet you, Max.” You tell the man, avoiding his eyes and walking off.

And that was the start of Max’s plan; to never see another tear on your face from the man you love.

He started that right away by following you out the club where the streets were quiet and empty. You sit on the sidewalk head in your hands sobbing uncontrollably.

At that moment he isn’t sure what he will say but he knows he wants to be near you. To comfort you.

So he sits right beside you carefully so as not to startle you and you look over ready to move away from whoever was sitting next you but meeting those blue eyes you felt a pull.

His eyes were so bright and welcoming that with a simple look and hand to your shoulder, you’re crying in the arms of a man you had only just formally met 5 minutes ago.

But being in his arms felt so right, like you had known them for years.

So maybe it was that or the way his blue eyes had such a calming look to them that you spilled all your feelings to him. From your failed relationship to your family problems. You expected him to defend his friend who he knew more than you but instead he held your hand rubbing thumb against it, "I think if Charles loves you he wouldn't make you cry. He would not make you feel alone, unappreciated…or unloved. His opinion about being private can be valid for the media but with friends? Family? Even in your own home? He should be able to express his love."

You nod along and let out a shaky breath, "It sounds pathetic but I always thought he was my soulmate at one point. So if he was my soulmate I convinced myself that this was it. That my only chance at love will be him and that is all I will ever get. But sometimes I think it might be better to live my life forever alone than to give all my love to someone who could never reciprocate it."

Max shakes his head and looks at you, his eyes flickering to your lips for a brief moment then back to your eyes, "I don't think that is pathetic. It's called love and sometimes being in love with someone you know won't love you the same is soul crushing but you'll stay in the relationship hoping that maybe one day what you give them will be enough to change their mind." He tells you, almost as he had gone through the same (he did).

"You know from everything I see and hear from people about you I'm surprised how wrong they were. How wrong I was…you aren't the same guy you are on the track. I'm sorry." You tell him sincerely, an apology he tells you is not needed but feels a flutter in his chest receiving praise from you.

"Never judge a book by its cover, right?" He smiles back at you, your arm wrapped around his and head against his shoulder. Maybe you shouldn't be so close to another guy that wasn't your boyfriend but there was a pull Max had that you wanted to be as close to him as you could.

Just friends.

─────────────────────────

And your friendship with Max sure did blossom for the last three months going into the 2023 season and Charles was fine with it. Mostly because he still was not paying you much attention so you being friendly with Max and joining him and Lando on trips was fine with him.

Until he realized how close you had gotten to Red Bull's superstar driver.

"I don't understand why you want to go there this race weekend. I doubt the PR team would even allow me to let you go, it's not a good look." He shrugs driving through the streets of Miami with you in the passenger seat.

"Actually, Max's team talked to yours already. People honestly think me and you are friends so they don't think it would cause any drama plus I'm doing a video with Checo and Max to try some of my pastries!" You tell him excitedly, a smile on your face he hadn't seen in awhile. Only this time another man was the reason for your smile not him.

"Ah well…okay." He says before shutting down completely and staying quiet the entire ride back to the hotel after dinner.

Once you arrive at the hotel room you wash your makeup off then go off to grab some pajamas, "You wanna wear this?" Charles asks holding up a red sweater that had his name on the back of it.

"Oh thanks, Charlie." You smile at him sweetly and throw the sweater on with some black shorts.

"I love you." He says pulling you in for a passionate kiss, something you haven't received in a week so your hands go to his hair pulling him in for a deeper kiss. You were so deprived from his touch that you felt yourself pushing him towards the bed wanting him to give you some more attention.

"Wanna be inside you, mon amour." He whispers in your ear before kissing down to your neck, your moans a little louder than usual and as his hands reach to take your shorts off there's a knock at the door.

"Mierda. Esperame aqui." You tell Charles and he just nods with a smile not knowing what the last two words are but he loved seeing how needy you were.

You walk over to the door opening it to reveal Max and Lando holding a bag full of junk food, "Shit. I forgot we were going to watch the rest of the movies on our list…Charles is here."

Landos eyes widen while Max's are filled with disappointment, "Ah you getting it on with your man!" Lando jokes and you slap his arm.

"Shut up! I wanna spend some time with him while he is actually giving me some attention for once. I'm so sorry guys." You apologize and Lando nods in understanding and says goodbye before walking off.

"Max, come on!" Lando yells for his friend but he waves him off asking to give him a second.

You smile at him, "I'm sorry, Maxie. I know I promised we would finish up the movies this week but he's paying attention to me right now and I know it's pathetic being so desperate for just one–."

"I'm always gonna remind you that it is not pathetic. You are not pathetic. Don't apologize, it is okay. We will wait for you to watch the movies and enjoy your time with him." He tries to keep his smile when he says the last sentence.

"I love you, Max." You wrap your arms around him, giving him a tight hug before pulling away.

"I love you too." He says, those words having so much more meaning than in the friendly way you had meant it. You wave him goodbye before going back inside enjoying your time with Charles for the rest of the night, but your mind was invaded with one person and one person only: Max.

─────────────────────────

It was Media Day and you were spending it with the Red Bull Team and while you were excited for it at first you had noticed Max was acting weird not really speaking to you unless for the video so you felt a bit down throughout the day.

"Estoy seguro de que no mas no se siente bien.” Checo talks to you while you sit beside him and Max who was talking to Daniel happily completely ignoring you.

"Pero claramente est�� bien con todos los demás. Solo soy yo. Él no me quiere aquí, así que... me voy. Gracias por invitarme, pero no quiero hacer esto". You smile sadly at Checo and his wife who ask you to stay at the team dinner but you can't. Not when someone you love is treating you like this. You already got that from Charles.

But you were unaware that Max understood every word you and Checo had said.

So as you walk out of the restaurant you refuse to turn back around as Max calls after you, "Oh so now you want to talk? Well I don't, so leave me alone." You yell at him and keep walking down the empty street.

"Please, I'm sorry." He begs stepping in front of you.

You stop and glare at him, "You…you know how I feel about being ignored by Charles all the time. How shitty it makes me feel and now you're doing the same?" You ask, tears welling up in your eyes.

"No I…fuck don’t cry. I promised to never be the one to make you cry and-.”

"What do you mean by that? What promise?" You ask, confused as to what he meant.

"I never want to be the reason you cry." He whispers, wiping your tears away.

"Why?"

“Because…because I love you.” He confesses, in his eyes you can see he means those three words more than the platonic type.

And in that moment you want to say it back. You want to mean it the way he is saying it as well. But then Charles fills your mind.

“You…love me?” Is all you can say. You knew there was something there you couldn’t deny. But you were a loyal person so you pushed those feelings to the back of your head because you were with Charles.

Max 's hands are cupping your face, “Mi amor por ti es tan fuerte que aprendí un idioma para ti. Tu idioma para poder decírtelo y demostrarte mi amor. Aprendí tu idioma en tres meses. Porque eres mi amiga es lo que me diría al principio. Porque valoro nuestra amistad y te respeto pero ¿ahora? Me doy cuenta de que este sentimiento es más que solo amigos. Quiero... no, te amaré. Te amaré fuerte y con orgullo como te mereces. Quiero que todos sepan que soy tuyo y tú eres mío. Quiero que las estrellas y la luna sepan que te amo. Quiero escuchar tu voz por horas. Gritaré mi amor por ti cuando quieras. Quiero ser tu mejor amigo. Te amaré hasta mi último aliento en esta tierra. Y en el más allá te encontraré y te amaré entonces.Te amaré como a un marinero. Fuerte y orgulloso” (My love for you is so strong that I learned a language for you. Your language to be able to tell you and show you my love. I learned your language in three months. Because you are my friend is what he would tell me at first. Because I value our friendship and I respect you, but now? I realize this feeling is more than just friends. I want... no, I will love you. I will love you strong and proudly as you deserve. I want everyone to know that I am yours and you are mine. I want the stars and the moon to know that I love you. I want to hear your voice for hours. I will shout my love for you whenever you want. I want to be your best friend. I will love you until my last breath on this earth. And in the hereafter I will find you and I will love you then. I will love you like a sailor. Loud and proud) He lets out a deep breath after his confession looking at you for answers.

Your eyes filled with tears hearing him confess his feelings, in Spanish. In your language. He learned your language in three months just because he loved you?

“Max…I-I-I don’t know what to say. You…fuck, you learned Spanish for me. I can’t…I want to love you. I know I can and I do but I’m still with Charles. I know he hasn’t proved anything to me but I can’t say what I feel at this moment knowing I’m still in a relationship. He may not care about it but I need to be loyal until the end.” You tell him. He had hoped you’d say something other than that but he also understood.

“I’m gonna wait for you. You can decide what you want with him but…if you decide to stay with him I need to give you this before you leave.” He digs into his pocket and grabs his keys, taking a key off the chain and handing it to you.

“I’ll send you the address in a text but I hope you love it. I hope I see you again.” He says before kissing your cheek and walking off.

─────────────────────────

You walk into the hotel room and you see Charles sitting on the bed waiting for you, "What are you doing here?" Your tone coming off a bit harsh.

"Oh, well I wanted to wait up for you. I was thinking we could spend the night together again. I've missed you and-."

"Why?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean why do you miss me? Why do you all of a sudden want to spend time with me?"

Charles sighs, "I just miss you and well seeing you get so close to Max I…I felt like you haven't made time for us–."

"Oh fuck you! I haven't made the time? I am the one who left my home country three years ago to follow you around the world like a lovestruck little puppy. I have all the time in the world to be there when you want it but it is you who hasn't. I have begged and cried for you to give me love. To show me you love me. You havent done that Charles one night that we fucked doesnt mean it all gets better."

"I know that! I want to try though. I shouldn't have let your friendship with Max make me so jealous but I see how he looks at you, Y/n. He loves you more than a friend–."”

"Yeah, he told me tonight."You interrupt him and the color drains from his body.

"He did? And…what did you say?"

You sigh and sit next to Charles, "That I could feel the same way. I do feel the same way but…I'm with you. And you may not believe it but I'm a loyal person. So nothing happened he just said that and that is all…he said he would wait for me."

"What does this mean for us?" He asks.

What does it mean? You were conflicted, Max…he was a breath of fresh air. What he makes you feel is something you wish Charles could have made you felt. Love should be given because they love you not because you beg them to do it. And thinking in that sense is enough to give you your answer.

"It means I am not ready for any relationship with anyone right now. I need to focus on myself and love myself because I haven't for a long time. We need to break up, Charles."

But I love you. I may not show it but I want to communicate my feelings to express why it's so hard for me.

"Okay…we break up then. Where will you go?" He says instead of what he wanted to really say to you, sadness in his eyes.

"Home." You tell him looking down at the keychain.

─────────────────────────

THREE MONTHS LATER.

When you had received the address from Max you weren't sure what else to tell him other than thank you and after that you lost contact for some time. He had bought a piece of land in Mexico, "a place where you can create your biggest dreams." He bought you a space where you create a cafe the way you had always dreamed of but you assumed no one ever paid enough attention to you to know that the dream was to have this cafe in Mexico.

Now having the space open it was thriving and everyone was raving about it even some F1 fans have realized it was your cafe and despite your break up with Charles now being out in the public they were still showing their support.

The Mexican Grand Prix was coming this week and you had received a few messages from some drivers hoping to catch up with you. You hung out with Lando for a day showing him around the city and then had dinner with Checo and his family. You were sad to hear Max was going to be there but bailed out.

When dinner was over you were headed home when you got a notification from your security system sensing motion at the front of your cafe so you went straight there.

When you arrive your heart stops at the sight of Max standing on a ladder in front of your door, "What…what are you doing?" You ask stepping out of your car and Max turns around, almost falling off the ladder when he sees you.

"Max! You gotta be careful." You put support on the ladder with your hands as he gets back to what he was doing.

"You got a broken light, it doesn't work." He states.

"Yeah I know. I was gonna fix it tomorrow morning. Not like a crazy person at night."

"Well the crazy person just fixed it so you're welcome." He says climbing off.

You thank him before unlocking the door to the place, "Do you want to see it?" You ask him and he smiles following you inside.

Max was in shock seeing how beautiful it looked inside, filled with tables and comfortable couches with a small corner that had books that you can pick from while visiting and he's most excited when he looks at the menu hanging behind the counter.

Two lattes named after his cats Jimmy and Sassy (who you have met and love very much). Then beside the menu is a small note thanking the customers, "And thank you to my favorite sailor." The same word he used when telling you he loved you.

"I'm probably gonna botch this but I'm trying okay?" You tell him and he looks at you confused when you grab his hands and clear your throat, "Don't laugh if I mess up!" You tell him and he chuckles.

"Could never laugh at you if it's this serious, my silly girl." If you hadn't been practicing this for so long you probably would have kissed him right then.

"Ik hou van je. Ik wil dat je luid bemind wordt, net zoals jij van mij houdt. Ik voel dingen voor je die ik nog nooit heb gevoeld en dat maakt me bang. Zo hard van je houden is eng, maar het is iets wat ik met je wil doen. Ik wil je liefde en je beste vriend zijn. Ik zal zo luid van je houden dat de hele wereld stil zal worden. Het spijt me dat het zo lang heeft geduurd voordat ik me realiseerde hoe graag ik dit wil. Ik wil ons leven samen opbouwen." (I love you. I want you to be loved loudly just like you love me. I feel things for you that I have never felt and that scares me. Loving you so hard is scary but it's something I want to do with you. I want to be your love and your best friend. I will love you so loud that the whole world will go quiet. I'm sorry it took me this long to realize how much I want this. I want to build our life together.) It's like deja vu as you take a deep breath after confessing your love in his language, something you too had been practicing for the last three months.

His face was hard to read at the moment and you frown thinking maybe it was too late confessing your love now, "Fuck I know it wasn't the best dutch and maybe it's too late telling you I–."

His lips stop you from finishing that sentence, you can feel his heartbeat close to you pressed against each other. Your lips on his felt like they were always meant to be there the way you could taste the coffee that you had made him beforehand. His hands on your hips with your arms around his neck trying to get as close as you can to each other, you both however pull away to take a breath.

"I love you. Te amo. Ik houd van je." Max kisses you all over your face giving you one last kiss on your lips.

"I'm sorry it took me some time to say it but after breaking up with Charles I needed space to breathe and remember I can still live my life without needing a man to love me…but these three months without you have been fucking torture. I miss all the little things you do and I just miss you. I want to hold you forever." You tell him, you both are now sitting on one of the couches in the cafe. You sit on his lap with his arms holding you tight hoping to never let go like you'd just said.

"I was a bit disappointed at first hearing about the break up and that you had left right away but then I saw you here making this place exactly how you dreamed of and that was enough for me to understand you needed your space…even if I was miserable." He says the last few words jokingly and you giggle, shaking your head.

"I still don't know how I can ever thank you for buying me this space." You smile at him, your fingers playing with his hair.

"Let me take you on a date and that is enough."

You nod, kissing his cheek, "Bit weird we said I love you before our first date."

"Loving you is out of this world, I expect anything ordinary is simply not what our love is." Max was a true romantic, something he did not think was in him until he met you. Maybe that side of him had been hidden for so long because he was waiting for you all along.

Your lips meet his once again in a sweet kiss, "Thank you for loving me, loudly and proudly."

[achrams]

𝐑𝐪-𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐞.

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: On your nightly walk you run into a stranger, who befriending seems a lot more beneficial that previously thought.

𝐂𝐰: Vampires, blood, biting and obviously some good dry humping.

Being a huge fan of all things mythical had always been a part of your life. The idea of living in a world full of creatures that were better and stronger, probably more attractive too, though that just might be your humble opinion, it all filled you with excitement. That fascination had transferred over to your later stages in life, given how often you had hoped to catch one of those creatures of the night. Any would do, you just wanted proof that you were right. That this world had more to offer than plain grey days mashed into one dull blob.

Though despite your biggest efforts nothing seemed to work, nothing  at all. You’ve practically tried everything you know! If you look past the fact that all the information you held had come from reddit of all places, but that's beside the point. What mattered is you didn’t give up. Not an ounce of determination was left unused. Every single day the routine progressed until you didn’t even realise it had become a part of your life.

---

The days had turned to months and those into years. The hope was not lost but it was faltering ever so gradually, the countless tries had formed smaller and smaller acts. If before you went out of your way to really create contraptions or play chemist in your kitchen, then now you murmured a few sentences from a ‘spellbook’ before bed. It wasn’t much but it was something, because you still had some hope. Even if it was little and fragile.

On a fortunate evening, you had decided to take a stroll around the park that surrounded your lousy flat. A sanctuary between the tall rubbled buildings. You didn’t know what urge had pulled you into the crisp nightly air but you decided not to worry your head over it, no need to start overthinking. ‘My body just needs some fresh air..’ That's good enough of a reason for you.

Taking the first step outside was nice and relaxing after having to escape the rotten to the core hallways and clunky elevators of your building. It was a nice reminder that even in a place like this, there was a chance at some peace. A deep breath in, you closed your eyes for a moment. Savouring the gentle breeze and fresh air that rejuvenated your tired body.

The stars looked back at you when you opened your eyes despite liking the use of your other senses. “This is nice… every night should glow like this..” The words had left your lips without any further thought. Seems your heart let the love you held for the night out without seeking permission from your brain. It was a pretty sight were it not covered by clouds or light pollution most of the time.

A crack was heard and you snapped your head behind you. Eyes squinted from the darkness but also to show the concern that threatened to paint the canvas of your face. ‘There's no one here. Calm down.’ You thought to yourself as you took small steps backwards, keeping your eyes in the direction of the suspicious sound. ‘Just in case.’ That’s what you told yourself as the silence you once found peaceful now turned into something more of a lingering tension.

“Ookay, one step at a time..we are good..we are okay. I am totally not being creeped out-!” Your inner thoughts had turned to a monologue, between yourself and this ‘totally not there’ being in a bush, somewhere in the middle of your descending steps. Another step backwards and a plethora of emotions filled your core. Fear, surprise and then relief on top. All because a cat decided to jump out of the bush you had your eyes locked onto.

“Oh thank god..” The words breathed out into the chilly night as you rested your hand on your heart for a moment. You knew for certain that you weren’t insane now, it had just been a cat! Nothing to worry about. Stretching yourself up straight from this odd half hunched position, you turned around to actually go on this walk of yours, instead of fighting with cats that probably wouldn’t even bat an eye in your direction.

As soon as you turned around you got a face full of something hard. “Ow!” Rubbing your hand against your forehead from the impact. A few groans left you before you managed to apologise to whoever you had turned into.

“Sorry about that, I wasn't looking where I was going.” You spoke as you finally opened your eyes to be met with a guy. Not just any guy, a guy whom you have never seen before in your building or anywhere near this outhouse of an area. It was surprising to say the least. Meeting up with a complete stranger in the middle of the night. Totally not suspicious.

“Ah, it's alright. You seemed distracted enough, I should have said something.” You shrugged back at the apology being granted to you. A little sheepishly, letting go of your head to try and get a better look at this mystery man in this low lighting. ‘An accent. Interesting.’

“Are you new here? I don't think I've seen you before.” The words were friendly enough despite the eerie way everything had been playing out thus far.

A moment of silence filled the air, sadly the awkward kind. ‘Nevermind..probably not the best idea to try and make friends at midnight-’ Your inner debate about continuing this conversation was interrupted. “Julien. Nice to meet you.”

Taking his held out hand, you shake it as a sign of respect while Julien continues speaking. “I’m visiting family here. Never seen this area before..quite uncanny of a place.” You couldn’t help but chuckle at the description. It fits this place a little too well.

“Yeahh, this is what happens when you work just to get by.” A shrug left you as you sigh, stepping by him as you bury your hands into your jacket. “Hope you find this place at least somewhat pleasing.”

One or two steps past Julien and the guy had seemed to scramble from his spot to walk next to you, awfully happy as he kept looking around and sniffing the air a little. To make the walk a little less awkward you coughed and asked, “Sooo, special day?” to which Julien looked at you confused.

“I mean, you said you were here for family and you look happy…?” A noise of understanding left Julien as he nodded and vibrantly began explaining how some family lived nearby and they were planning to get a whole party set up for a feast of sorts. ‘Foreigner things probably.’ You weren’t one to judge so you nodded and listened.

---

The walk went relatively well, it was honestly quite odd how well the two of you got along and so fast too. Almost like this was fate, if you believed in such a thing. Soon enough you considered Julien a friend, going on midnight walks one too many times to count while he was in the area, but it’s not like you minded. It was nice, Julien was nice.

He had a nice smile that always seemed to shine with every joke you did and his hair, oh his hair, the way it moved when he nodded along when you spoke. Last but not least of all his eyes, they seemed to speak more than Julien himself. So playful and warm with the way he looked at you, making you feel less alone in this city you had to call home. 

Though there always seemed to be a hidden glint in his eyes. When you spoke, seemingly distracted with making the stories more interesting with dramatic hand movements, Julien looked at you. No, he didn’t look, he admired. Took in every detail of your being from top to bottom. You noticed it. Julien wasn’t as slick with his hungry glances and licks of his lips than he thought. You felt his eyes on you more than you’d seen him look at the pathway you two were walking on.

One night, however. you had a lot of fun and out of the blue turned to him after having gained the courage to ask, “Do you want to come over?” Julien looked back at you for a good moment before smiling back at you with one of the biggest smiles you had ever seen. “I thought you’d never ask!” That was all you needed to hear to know that Julien wasn’t some stranger who’d leave you behind after his time here.

No clue where the need and courage came from, especially after registering in your mind that Julien seemed to be eating you up with his eyes every time you two were together. Perhaps you had the urge to hopefully prolong this friendship. It was nice to have a friend when all you knew were creepy elders that probably saw things that weren’t there.

---

With a smile you opened your front door and stepped in, holding the door open with a simple, “Come on in, make yourself at home.” The slight anticipation and worry on Julien’s face faded and he walked in. Muttering a small ‘thank you’ as he walked past you and now that you saw him in actual light, he looked even more ethereal than before.

Guiding him in you showed hospitality by offering drinks, foods, snacks, anything to welcome him but his eyes seemed to be glued onto the odd contraptions around your house. Refusing everything you offered with a smile. Your house gave off a rather interesting and floral vibe, but it seemed out of place for this dry block of a city. Embarrassment flushed your face as you stood before Julien, preventing him from eyeing everything so attentively, then looking down at him so he wouldn’t be inclined to stand up from the couch to take a closer look.

“Uhm, those are nothing, don't mind them!” You chuckled awkwardly, yet he seemed to tilt his head to the side to keep taking glances before Julien mumbled through a hearty laugh. “Are you trying to lure something into your home?” His face held an odd smile, like he knew something. You seemed to be too caught up in your embarrassment to notice that Julien seemed proud.

You averted your gaze to save yourself from the embarrassment of having to explain that from a young age you’ve been into mythicals and have been trying to catch one. With a sigh you sat down next to Julien on your couch and started speaking. Hoping to get this out the way so it wouldn't be brought up again. “You know those childhood stories of werewolves and vampires?” One look in Julien’s way and he was already nodding his head along with a small knowing smile. “So, basically I am convinced they’re actually real…and I might have been trying to see one. By…trying to catch one..”

The sigh you let out was deafening and so was the silence that followed, lingering and looming over the room. A chuckle brought your gaze back up to meet with Julien’s, effectively having broken your insecurity filled thoughts. “No luck then?” You had to laugh along at the absurdity of this confession. “No luck.” You let out an airy chuckle while shaking your head. “ Honestly I’m starting to doubt they were real in the first place.”

Julien seems to hum for a moment, his eyes lingering on you for a bit too long. Turning to properly face him, you give a slight brow raise and Julien smiles. “What if I tell you they are real?” His smirk widens and he seems more and more proud. Smug about something you can’t wrap your head around.

Instead of your confusion subsiding it actually increases. A lot. “You don’t have to lie to me to make childhood me happy.” Dismissing what you had heard. You didn’t need pity for something you had decided to not believe in as of 3 minutes ago.

“I’m not lying.” Julien pushes on and moves closer to you on the couch, trying to see when you would catch on. “They are real.” The scoff that left your lips couldn’t be helped. Looking away with a grumble, you had missed the frown that have made it’s way onto Julien’s face.

“Trust me..” Julien whispers oddly close to you now. You hadn’t even noticed the moment he had leaned over to practically kiss all the way up your neck. With a shiver you turn your head to try and look at Julien. Confused why he’s so adamant on having you believe this fantasy.

Within seconds you feel his lips on your neck, pushing you to lie down on the couch while he straddles you. “You see, I am one of these creatures.” Julien continues, his thighs holding you down on the couch while his hot breath fans your skin. “And my god do you smell divine. You probably taste godly too..”

No time was left for you to voice your scepticism and confusion about how you had ended up in this position. Pinned under Julien.  Because as soon as you wanted to say something, to ease the doubt behind your eyes, Julien had pressed his sharp fangs against your skin. Piercing through it with a satisfying rip only you could hear. ‘They are real. What the fuck!?’ That was your initial reaction before it began morphing.

‘Fuuck..’ your second thought was accompanied a sharp breath in, very well, so well in fact that it gave off the idea you had liked it. Which you, surprise surprise, did like. You had never expected to meet a guy, have him be a vampire, become friends, invite him over and then have him feast on you. Pressing your eyes shut as you came to terms with the tingly and slightly burning sensations that came along with being a blood bag for a vampire. 

To Julien’s surprise you didn’t push him off at all, just lying below him. Taking this. All pinned for him. He could hear your heavy breaths and the way your hands had moved to hold his shoulders. Hands tightening around his shoulders when it had become slightly painful, drawing out a low breath of pure delight. A groan if you will.

With slight hesitancy Julien pulled his teeth out from your skin, lapping the treasured bite clean to both save precious blood and to ensure you didn’t stain anything. Then he looked down at your flushed face with a twinge of amusement. His eyes travelled down to where he was straddling you. Your eyes still pressed shut as you’re more concerned with calming your erratic breathing even though you could feel Julien’s eyes travel down your heaving body.

Julien licked his fangs clean and shifted in his place, drawing out another groan from you. “Someone seems to have liked being fed on.” His words smug as he looks down at you, letting his fingers leave feather-like touches against your neck. The bite he had left there. It sent a thrilling sensation through his body. Seeing how you withered and shivered below him. A perfect guy to snack on.

“You’re mighty hard against me.” The words are more teasing than the last, purposefully grinding his hips against your hard on to prove a point. With a whimper you finally opened your eyes, staring at him with mild embarrassment. “Shut up-”

Your bratty protest was easily silenced by a meticulously constructed grind against you. “Shit- mmh..okay fine it..sort of felt good when you did that.” A fang bearing smile made its way onto Julien’s face. He ran his hand up your torso to play with his bite mark again. “That's rather cute. Getting all hard for me from a bite.” 

Julien leaned down to look into your eyes, holding onto your chin to keep you looking at him. The blush and slightly pouty look on you tugged at Julien’s heartstrings. “How bout this..” he proposed, his words sly and clearly in his favour. “You let me drink some more and as a reward I'll help you out with your problem.”

It didn’t take more than a second of consideration from you, because as soon as the words ahad left Julien's mouth you were already nodding. Begging with your actions to keep this going. You didn’t know why, but it felt so good. So good to have Julien feed off you. Not only did you have proof that these creatures were real. You had one right here on top of you. Only an idiot would let such a perfect opportunity go to waste. Aand you happened to be a self proclaimed genius.

A lick up the other side of your neck earned a shiver alongside a small groan. You could feel how Julien smiled against your skin. It was clear that he was enjoying this a lot more than he let on. You were certainly going to put that information to good use. Feeling how his fangs grazed along the delicate skin of a human, you let your hands sneak their way to Julien’s sides while he was distracted.

With a smirk you held him down against you and bucked your hips up. The sudden action made Julien’s fangs enter your system with a small yelp from him. Having Julien connected to you, sucking out your delicious blood, gave you a perfect recipe for satisfaction. 

Keeping him down atop you, you grind your hips up against him. Feeling the way both friction from your movements and the pressure from your jeans add to your straining dick, it was enough to draw out some breaths and shudders here and there. Though the star of the show was Julien and his fangs that were lodged right into you.

Julien in return had pressed his head against you harder, trying to get as much blood from you as he could. Hands holding your shoulders while he sucked on your neck. As a bonus it seems like your grinding had started to affect him and with small pants against your neck Julien began grinding his hips down against your dick. A perfect melody of pleasure and pain. It was wonderful.

Feeling how both of your straining hard ons pressed against one another. The friction from thrusts into nothing and pressure from trying to stimulate your erections made both of you needy. Feeling how your dick twitched in the limiting confines of your pants urged you to keep going. To satisfy yourself like promised by Julien.

Your already breathy and whiny mouth let out a louder whine from the loss of fangs in your neck. Julien was becoming sloppy, too pleasured out of his mind to continue feeding on you. Truth be told he didn’t need to anymore but you just tasted heavenly to him, so an extra snack later on wouldn’t hurt, yeah?

The sight of your neck stained red with iron, flushed face and parted lips added to Julien’s need for release. He pressed himself down harder and faster, desperately grinding against you with renowned determination. You followed along with just as eager moves against Julien as he moved against you. Hands gripping onto Julien’s hips as you murmur, “Pleasepleaseplease- Mmh!”

Feeling the pit in your stomach tighten, grow warm with every mutual thrust against one another. Pants and frantic bucks driving home the pleasure that threatened to consume. Julien moved down to finally lick your dripping neck clean, the sensation of his wet tongue adding to the immense pleasure of a nearing orgasm.

To your surprise however, it seemed that the licked up blood didn’t make it to Julien’s system, but instead was consumed by you. His lips pressing against yours as he forced you to taste yourself. The metallic liquid coating both of your mouths. It was a sudden chance and one that gave the final push.

With a groan into the kiss and a relatively more forceful thrust against Julien, you came with a shudder, feeling how Julien had done the exact same. Shuddering and panting against each other. Body convulsing against the couch as you come down from your high. Julien sat up straight, letting go of the kiss in a sensual way with his lips begging to stay connected to yours. To have your taste a little longer.

Julien breathed heavily on top of you, enjoying the sight of a satisfied human and being a satisfied vampire himself. Both of you letting out heavy whines and pants as blotches of sticky and wet residue slowly seep through both of your pants. It was a little pathetic. At least both of you came, right?

“You taste godly, and I bet you would feel even more exquisite.” Julien panted the words out as he watched you shudder when he touched your softening dick. “Unfortunately, I'm more than full for now.” 

Feeling how your chin was made to face Julien, you forced your eyes open and he smiled back at you. That same damned sweet smile. “I'll be back for a taste soon enough, make sure you rejuvenate yourself.” A quick cheeky kiss was pressed against your lips before Julien got off you. Swiftly moving to the closest exit, which happened to be a window, and leaving through that.

Your unfocused eyes only caught a glimpse of his figure turning to shadows as he disappeared into the night after murmuring something of a ‘Good vampire summoner’.

You were too hazed out of your mind to properly make sense of everything. Panting and overwhelmed, still coming down from your climax. ‘How the fuck did I get myself into this mess?’ You murmur to yourself as you finally let the activities of your day and now vampire filled night take over. Closing your eyes to get some rest and then maybe…hopefully think about this with a clear head tomorrow.

‘...shit.’ You couldn’t fall asleep at all. All you could think about was how it felt to have Julien sink his teeth into you and lap up your blood. Yeah…you better go and take care of your needy erection before you accidently manage to summon an incubus.

[astrobiscuits]

Solar Return obs 1

Before we start...

For the best results, always ALWAYS compare your Solar Return chart with your Natal chart. For pinpointing the exact timing when something will happen in your love life, look up at your upcoming Venus Return chart. When does it start? Now compare it with your next Solar Return. If you have planets in your 7th house in Solar Return, notice if they are proeminent in your current Venus Return chart. Bingo! You've just found out when these planets are going to get activated (around the date of the Venus Return chart)

Without further do, let's roll the SR observations!💗

🦩 Jupiter in 4th house indicates moving abroad that year

🦩 While Uranus in 4th house brings sudden, unexpected changes in your home life. Moving to another house? You bet. Redecorating your whole house because you just woke up with the urge to do so? Could be another possibility

🦩 Jupiter trine Venus in SR brings an easiness to manifesting everything you want that year. If Jupiter/Venus is in 2nd house trining the other planet, then you might also get lots of gifts

🦩 Venus in 2nd house also indicates spending more than usual on material possesions that year (compulsive shopping much)

🦩 Sun conjunct Saturn and Venus in 6th house = becoming "that girl". Your main focus will be on building a solid, stable routine for yourself, that also looks aesthetically pleasing

🦩 Stellium in 10th house/11th house = high chance of becoming (internet) famous. Bonus points is Jupiter is involved (i started my blog while my current SR has a 10th house stellium and i have to thank you guys for showing such big support for this blog🥹 thank you)

🦩 Jupiter in 9th house can indicate travelling abroad for the purpose of experimenting different lifestyles (For ex. you visit Guatemala because you want to experience what is like to be a Guatemalian - you want to try all their traditional dishes, learn their traditional dances and open up your mind to a different culture)

🦩 Another meaning of Jupiter in 9th house is that you might go abroad for college or if you start college in your homecountry, then you're probably going to major in foreign languages, philosophy or religion

🦩 Pluto in 4th house could mean uncovering a family secret. Don't be surprised if you find out that you're adopted or you have family members alive that you didn't know about👀

🦩 Moon in 4th house means that you'll feel much more nostalgic that year. You might spend more time with your mother than usual, reminescence on your childhood memories or look through old photos of you and your family

🦩 If you're in a relationship and you've got Neptune in 7th house in your next SR, then i'm sorry to disappoint you, but expect a year where you might question your partner's loyalty. I'm not saying your partner is going to cheat, but for some reason you might feel more suspicious of them than usual

🦩 Mars in 8th house = expect more sex than usual lol

🦩 If Pluto squares Mars and one of these planets is in the 4th house/5th house/7th house/10th house/11thouse, beware of power plays and toxic dynamics in your family/friendships/relationship (for 4th,5th,7th or 11th house) or at your workplace (for 10th house)

🦩 Moon in 12th house indicates that you're going to be more secretive with your emotions. You won't tell people how you feel and at times you might be confused about your own emotions, because you'll have the tendency to surpress them

🦩 With Jupiter conjuncting Ascendant (doesn't matter if it's in the 12th house or 1st house), expect to be constantly blessed by the Universe without doing anything. One of the most luckiest placements you could have in your SR

🦩 Neptune trine Mercury indicates a high chance of coming up with a creative masterpiece that year (it can be in any domain: arts, music, writing, acting, u name it)

🦩 Saturn in 2nd house can indicate going on a diet that year

🦩 Mars in 3rd house indicates being more argumentative that year than usual. You might speak at a faster pace or speak before thinking twice

🦩 Indicators in SR for meeting your future spouse:

SR Juno conjuncts SR Sun/Moon/Venus

SR Juno conjuncts SR Descendant

SR Juno conjuncts one of your natal, personal planets

Natal Juno conjuncts one of your SR planets

If the 5th house/7th house is involved, then you'll also start dating them/be in a relationship with them that year!!

🦩 If you've been struggling with fear of dying, Sun in 12th house indicates a year when you'll probably overcome this fear. During this year, you're more prone to dive deeper into what happens after death, which will naturally ease your anxiety

🦩 I had Capricorn rising with Pluto and Saturn in 1st house this year and it was ROUGH. Capricorn risings sets the theme for the year as a year with hardships, obstacles and difficulties in achieving happiness. Saturn in 1st house brings a lower than usual sense of self-esteem, while Pluto in 1st house tells us about a major change when it comes to how others perceive us. This change isn't as sudden as the changes Uranus brings, more like something that has been boiling for a while in the dark and now it finally comes up to the surface. This year i decided to pursue astrology as my (future) career and i've also told people in my life about it. I felt like i was truly reborn compared to where i was last year

[yuyusshinelight]

Dad thoughts feat ATEEZ

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♪ This post is about how I think they would be as parents; just that, some thoughts. This does NOT represent any of Ateez's members in any way.

♪ English is not my first language so sorry if there's any mistake.

Note: Hi my shining stars! Here I come with ATEEZ!dads because I have always loved kids (I have baby fever and Wooyoung being so extremely adorable with them doesn't help it) and I really like parenting headcanons. I hope you like it and enjoy your reading. Love you all!

SEONGHWA

✰ Proud dad of 'the cutest four years old girl in the world'.

✰ Seonghwa works so hard day by day to be the best father he can be to that little girl, strengthening their bond to the point that now your daughter is a daddy's girl who wants to marry her dad.

✰ Daddy-daughter time every day at 8 pm until bedtime when he's not on a tour or live in which they play with their respective Legos while singing whatever comes from the playlists on Seonghwa's phone.

✰ And talking about music, obviously his baby has a playlist with her favorite songs on his phone, and in yours too. Both you and Seonghwa have almost the entire Shinee and Mamamoo discography on your phones thanks to this girl. Although her favorite song is 'Star 1117' and she always asks both mom and dad to play it.

✰ Pajama parties every weekend, even if he has a concert the next day because spending time with the apple of his eye is much more important.

✰ Has it already been mentioned about incessant Lego afternoons that end in "A little more, appa" from his daughter that makes it too hard for Seonghwa to resist? But in the end he stands firm and does not give in. Schedules must be respected, routine is very important.

✰ One of his favorite parts of being a father is bedtime stories because Seonghwa has the pleasure of having his little star snuggled in the crook of his arm hugging her own Ddeongbyeoli while he reads her a story in the dim light of that little moon-shaped lamp.

✰ Seonghwa is at a crossroads. On one side, his concern for his daughter's safety and privacy prohibits his from uploading any type of content related to the minor's life, even minimal details like that time a butterfly landed on her finger while she was playing in the park; but, on the other hand, as the proud father of that beautiful little girl, there is a need to show the world the reason why he gets up every morning, the reason for his joy.

✰ In the end, his overprotective father facet has more weight so, although the world knows that he has a daughter, everything related to her is confidential, Atiny only knows that she is a four-year-old girl who likes lego like her father because once, while building a set in a live, he mentioned how his little girl had accidentally mixed up the pieces from both their sets the night before.

HONGJOONG

✰ It's not a surprise that Hongjoong doesn't like kisses, or at least that was until he started dating you. He would plant an innocent kiss on your cheek and didn't look like he was being tortured when you gave him one. Well now with your son he spends all the time giving him kisses on the cheeks, forehead or head and asking him for kisses too. Hongjoong loves when those little hands hold his face and those mini lips peck his cheek like a little bird.

✰ He gets emotional because his 'almost foud yeads old' boy wants to do everything by himself because he's already very old although he clearly has a different sock on each foot and one of them is backwards.

✰ Of course his son can record a song for their new album, but it's a very very exclusive song that only the family, and maybe his seven non-biological uncles if Hongjoong is feeling generous, can hear.

✰ Tours are always difficult. Leaving your home for so long... But now it's torture for Hongjoong. Seeing how his son's face turns red while it becomes wet from the exaggerated amount of tears caused by the fact that his father is leaving... Hongjoong tries to be strong for both of them, he knows that if his son sees him crying it only will get worse, but how can Hongjoong avoid it if his baby asks him not to leave between sobs? Hearing him say that he wants to be with his dad breaks his heart. There's nothing Hongjoong wants more than to be able to bring him to any travel he has but, bad luck, that's not always possible.

✰ Can be found sleeping on the couch with his son in one arm and a tiny blanket covering his chest in an ineffective way after coming home really late at night.

✰ His camera is full of pictures of his son doing literally anything. Eating a tangerine, looking at a snail, sleeping in his car seat, putting on dad's headphones. Anything.

✰ Hongjoong tries to hide his jealous side in front of his son after having been scolded by you several times because your child thinks it's a good idea to imitate dad. That comment about not looking at other children, too similar to the one his father usually tells atiny about not looking at other idols have you worried about his reaction if you bring him a sibling.

✰ And talking about imitating his dad, Hongjoong is also scolded for you and his mother for not being careful with what he says in front of the child. A four-year-old child swearing may be funny at times, but it is certainly not vocabulary for a kid.

✰ Obviously Hongjoong respects his son's privacy so he never publishes photos of his child but that doesn't stop the little boy from sneaking into the room when his dad is recording a video/audio for atiny so the fans end up hearing his little voice. Hongjoong is very quick when it comes to hiding his son from the cameras.

YUNHO

✰ There's nothing Yunho loves more than being greeted at home by that little three and a half years old photocopy of him jumping around him wanting to tell him everything he has done that day and that little baby girl with three hairs collected in two microscopic pigtails crawling to where her dad is just to sit on his foot and look at him with those big eyes she has.

✰ Those kids have his DNA, he knows their potential for destruction very well so no, they don't play video games with dad.

✰ While the eldest sleeps curled up in a ball between both his parents, the youngest decides that there is no better place to fall asleep than on her dad's neck. And don't get Yunho wrong, he loves that his daughter wants to sleep with him, it's just that he likes to breathe too.

✰ Of course his fans know about his puppies. Yes, puppies. Yunho has read a lot of interesting things about him for years so he calls them puppies on camera to see atiny's reactions.

✰ It's no mystery that Yunho has a passion for photography, and it only increased after the birth of his first child. Always with his camera or phone in hand ready to immortalize every little moment with his children.

✰ And talking about photos, he clearly has his phone full of photos of his children, photos that he goes through over and over again every time he is traveling or can't go home for work. The photos he like the most? When you or him have your kids in your arms. He can stare at them with that pretty silly smile for hours without getting tired.

✰ One of his favorite moments is family walks. Running with his children, playing airplane, ball, eating anything his son has begged him with those shiny eyes for, ending up in a park pushing the swings or helping them go down the slide because they are still very small... He tries to treasure and enjoy every second to the fullest for how rare these moments are due to his busy schedule. On the way home he always ends up carrying one of the children on a piggyback ride, in his arms or in his daughter's baby stroller together.

✰ He usually admires the size difference between him and his children, their little hands look even tinier between his own. Many times he ends up crying with the memory of how those same little hands surrounded his finger for the first time.

YEOSANG

✰ He is the last of the group to be a father, his little princess has resisted a lot but he has her in his arms already.

✰ Yeosang is at a very big crossroads. On one hand, he can't wait for his little girl to grow up so he can do with her all those things that his friends do with their children but, on the other hand, he doesn't want her to grow up that fast because that would mean that she would stop being his baby.

✰ At first he was afraid to pick her up, she looked so small and fragile that he was afraid of hurting her in any way. Six months later Yeosang has become a kangaroo dad, he always carries her in the baby carrier or in his arms.

✰ Yeosang is very innocent, he doesn't find any malice in all those questions he receives on lives from his fans about his daughter, so he ends up answering the most general ones such as "Has she started walking yet? " or "What was her first word?".

✰ He's going to go from driving drones to driving remote-controlled cars for when he goes out for a walk with his daughter and she can sit alone. Now she's too small for that.

✰ If not spending the night at home with you and your daughter is really hard for Yeosang, he doesn't want to think about his first tour far away from his lovely little bird. He has seen how sad his friends get when they have to go on tour, only being able to talk to their children through a screen, without being able to hug them and give them kisses. And what about those tearful "I miss you" from the kids? Thanks but no thanks.

✰ Yeosang is usually quiet and calm, something his daughter has inherited. Good and bad. Good because she makes the task of parenting not stressful or exhausting but... a six months baby who makes no noise and barely moves? Yeosang is always worried. What if something has happened to his little bird? But when he checks on her, he finds the baby looking at everything with those big shiny eyes while she eats her little hand or sucks her pacifier with overwhelming parsimony.

SAN

✰ He may arrive exhausted after a hard day of training, tired from an event or sleepy, but as soon as San crosses the door of his home and hears the voices of his two daughters and the babbling of his son, happy because their father is home, all traces of fatigue disappear. At least until it's time to relax on the couch with the three kids on top.

✰ San really appreciates that his children want to support him as an idol, but no, he doesn't take them to concerts or let them watch videos of ateez either, not after hearing his eldest daughter confessing him how much she liked uncle Seonghwa in certain performance with certain bandages in his mouth or after finding his middle daughter on a chair in the middle of what he though was an attempt to imitate certain dance step of his. They are children, they don't have to see those things yet. Much less from their father.

✰ San is a permissive, understanding and very attentive father, always smiling at them and treating them with all the love in the world; his face shines with pride and happiness every time he is with them. But, even if San doesn't want to get serious with them, he has to do it sometimes; when his two eldest don't want to do their homework, when it's bedtime and they don't want to get in their beds, when they act capriciously... They are kids, he understands that these behaviors are normal, and it is not like he yells at them or speaks badly to them, never... San simply explains things to them a little more seriously than what his children are used to.

✰ He can't help but laugh when he gets home and sees that his two youngest children are arguing with you because they want dad to bathe them, but, as I mentioned before, he gets serious with them because they have to understand that they can't wait for dad to get home to shower them every night. You already have had problems with your kids when San have spent the night away or is traveling.

✰ Atiny knows about his children and they know about dad's fans but there is no contact between them as the children of the other members because San is a very protective father that would never expose them to the Internet where a thousand of dangers lurk every minute.

✰ He may have uploaded in his Instagram stories a photo holding hands with his children but never more than that.

✰ San always tries to come home as early as possible to do all kinds of activities with his children and fulfil his duties as father of those kids.

✰ One of his biggest fears as a father is to end up being an absent father, one of those who apologize with a gift because they have missed an important event in their children's lives because of his work while all the responsibility of parenting falls on you. Many nights you have had to console him for it. 'Magically', the next morning your children appear jumping on him to give San lots of kisses and hugs while they tell him that he's the best dad and how much they love him.

MINGI

✰ Mingi loves his twins but he can't hear another of their incessant questions about everything that crosses their little minds "Why parents can't choose the color of their children's eyes? How do you know there isn't a chick in that egg? How does the music come out of the cd? Are we going to be tall like you or short like mom? Do Martian parents force their children to eat vegetables? Who do you love more of the two of us?".

✰ One of the most common things in the Song residence is to see Mingi sleeping with both kids because he can't let them sleep alone, without their dad to hold them through the night. More than once you have found your 1'84 husband sleeping with them in one of their tiny beds with his feet out and one child in each arm.

✰ When he's at home, Mingi and the children are the ones in charge of cooking because he thinks it's an entertaining and beautiful way to strengthen their bond.

✰ Mingi feels betrayed because his son is Carat and his daughter is a Stay madly in love with 'his future son-in-law ' Lee Know. She is five years old. Isn't every girl's first love supposed to be her dad? And if he also asks them who their favorite Ateez member is, his son says Yeosang and his daughter San.

✰ In Mingi's eyes, his children are growing up too fast and he doesn't like that. Two days ago they were new borns wrapped in their blankets between his arms and look at them now, fighting to make room on daddy's lap because they are already too big to be both at the same time, although they fit perfectly together, it's just that they want more space than the other.

✰ As his best friend, this man loves to see the size difference with his kids. It's common to hear Mingi talk proudly about how cute his twins look when they fall asleep on his lap or get emotional and ask daddy to hold them, also looking tiniest than they already are.

✰ It's not strange at all to see how one of his children's heads comes out of his hoodie while he's wearing it.

✰ Mingi may be one of the few members who does post photos with his children but always covering their faces or in strategic poses so that they remain anonymous. Atiny couldn't miss how adorable his kids looked following that duck or the smallest fix-on's in the history of his iconic phrase on his children nails matching with his.

WOOYOUNG

✰ This man was born to be a dad.

✰ Kisses are the order of the day. On the forehead, cheeks, head, hands... Before going to work, when they get up, when they go to sleep, when they show him their drawings, while helping the eldest with his homeworks, while they bathe with him, while they watch a movie, while he feeds the youngest... Wooyoung can't and doesn't want to stop giving his babies kisses all the time.

✰ Cooking time with his six year old son where Wooyoung teaches him small kitchen basics, always supervising that everything is safe and ensuring that it's very entertaining for both of them.

✰ Cooking time with his two year old son where Wooyoung cooks while having his kid in one arm away from fire, knives and other dangerous things; dancing and playing with the kid from time to time.

✰ Always, always, always has one of his kids in arms if not both. Wooyoung is dependent on his children, he needs to have them with him all the time.

✰ Wooyoung loves his job but since his eldest was born he no longer likes to go on tour because that means he can't be with his children. If he hasn't managed to bring his family with him, then he spends all his free time making video calls to talk to you and your children or looking for gifts for the three of you.

✰ He takes many photos with his children but only publishes those in which their faces do not appear, he wants his little babies to stay anonymous yet. Obviously he lets them record audios for atiny.

✰ One of his favorite activities to make his children laugh is to jump on the bed hard but carefully to make them fly. The laughs of both children often makes him have to take a few seconds before doing it again because of the laughs that it takes from him.

JONGHO

✰ Have you seen those videos of babies running around in cute sleepers like bears, stars, dinosaurs, etc...? Well, as soon as his son started walking, Jongho started uploading videos of the intrepid adventures of his little bear.

✰ There can't be apples in his house because his son loves to see how dad breaks apples with his hands. It seems to be so funny for the little boy that when they go to the supermarket he manages to pick up an apple to give it to his father to break it.

✰ OBVIOUSLY Jongho is the one who sings your child to sleep, not because you don't sing well or you don't like it, both your child and you prefer to listen to him sing for obvious reasons.

✰ Like happens with Hongjoong, his dislike for kisses ended when you started dating and now you and that little bear you have as son are the only ones Jongho lets give him physical affection, except those slobbery kisses every child usually gives, he leaves those for you. Jongho really appreciates that his son wants to leave his mark on him to show the world that he's his dad, but that's what the random bites he gets or the tiny nail marks are for.

✰ They are accomplices in crime, the moment Jongho appears in the kitchen with your child in arms you already know that whatever you are preparing to eat is going to reduce if not disappears like usually happens with your sandwiches, drinks or fruit.

✰ Jongho has bear-shaped a full body pajama that match his son's, and so do you. The very first moment he knew about your pregnancy he got the idea, wanting to be a bear family.

✰ People may think that now that he is a father Jongho handles his fear of bugs a little better, but no, if he sees a bug near his child he is not going to throw it away, in fact, he is not even going to go near that bug. He calls his son to go with him and runs away with the kid as far as possible. The problem comes when the child is sleeping. In that case, Jongho bites the bullet and, avoiding the bug as best he can, grabs his son and, again, runs away.

[sunny44]

The breaking point

Pairing: Max Verstappen x Teammate!reader

Warnings: arguments, crying and maybe other things

Summary: Max and Y/n, longtime teammates with a complicated relationship, find themselves in the midst of a heated argument that pushes their bond to its breaking point. As emotions run high, Max says things that he shouldn’t leading him to hurt the only person that matters to him.

I’ve known Y/n for years, and from the very beginning, our relationship was anything but simple. On the track, we were the perfect team, almost like we were made for each other. We pushed each other to the edge, always trying to be faster, stronger, better. But off the track, things were different. At the start it was just us not liking each other and then as time passes I started to like her, and as moras time passed I started to feel different e about her. When she was away from me I wanted her close and when she was with me I wanted her closer.

And after that I realized that I was in love with her, but there was always this tension between us, like an invisible wire pulled tight, just waiting to snap.

Today, that wire snapped.

It all started in the paddock. We were in the middle of discussing strategy, something that should have been routine. But for some reason, things escalated. Maybe it was the stress of the season, the constant pressure to perform, the fact that from being the top team and always winning races we were in fifth and sixth place in the last few races, or maybe we were just tired. But whatever it was, it made us both say things we shouldn’t have.

“I’m sick of you always blaming me, Max!” Y/n’s voice was sharp, cutting through the noise of the garage like a knife. She stepped closer, her eyes blazing, and I could see the anger in her eyes, the frustration that had been building for who knows how long. “I’m not the one that made the car a piece of shit in this last few races.”

I should have backed off. I should have taken a breath and calmed down because deep down I Ken I would snap at her even if I didn’t wanted to. But instead, I let my own anger take over.

“And I’m fucking sick of you and your bullshit! I wish I never met you!” The words flew out of my mouth before I even realized what I was saying. As soon as they left my lips, I knew I’d crossed a line. A line we’d never crossed before.

The moment the words were out there, I wished I could take them back. It wasn’t true—none of it was true. But the damage was done. Y/n’s face went pale, and I saw the shock in her eyes, like I’d just slapped her across the face.

She stood there, frozen, her chest heaving as she tried to process what I’d just said. I’ve seen her angry, frustrated, even upset, but I’ve never seen her like this—completely stunned, like I’d just ripped her heart out and crushed it.

When she finally spoke, her voice was so soft I almost didn’t hear her.

“Is that really how you feel?” Her voice trembled, and for the first time, I saw something I never thought I’d see—tears in her eyes.

My stomach twisted into knots. I wanted to tell her no, that I didn’t mean it, that it was just the heat of the moment and that I loved her. But my throat felt tight, like I couldn’t get the words out. All I could do was stare at her, my mind racing, trying to figure out how to fix this.

Y/n blinked, and a tear slipped down her cheek before she could stop it. She quickly looked down, avoiding my gaze, and I could see her fighting to keep it together. She was the strongest person I knew—nothing ever got to her, and she never let anyone see her cry. But now, because of me, she was on the verge of breaking.

I felt like the biggest idiot on the planet. Why did I say that? Why did I let my anger get the best of me? I knew how much she meant to me, how much I needed her, and yet I still said something so cruel, something I didn’t even mean.

When she finally looked up at me, her eyes were filled with hurt, and it cut me deeper than anything else.

“I never thought… you of all people would say that to me.” Her voice was barely a whisper, but the pain in it was deafening. “I knew you didn’t like me but that was cruel, even for you.”

I tried to move closer, to say something, anything, that would make it right.

“Y/n, I didn’t mean it.” I said, but my voice sounded weak, even to my own ears. I reached out toward her, but she pulled away, putting more distance between us. It was like a punch to the gut.

“Don’t.” she said, her voice sharp, cutting through me like glass. “Just… don’t.”

She turned away, her shoulders hunched as if she was carrying the weight of the world. She started walking toward the dressing room, her steps quick and determined, like she couldn’t get away from me fast enough. Panic rose in my chest. I couldn’t let her leave like this, not when she didn’t know the truth.

“Fuck… No! Y/n, wait!” I called after her, my voice cracking with desperation. I started running after her, my heart pounding in my chest. I needed her to understand that I didn’t mean what I said. I couldn’t lose her—not like this.

She didn’t stop, didn’t even slow down. She was almost at the door when I finally caught up to her. I reached out, my hand brushing against her arm, but she jerked away from me like I’d burned her.

“Please, Y/n, just listen to me.” I begged, my voice breaking. I could feel the tears threatening to spill over, but I fought them back. She needed to know how much she meant to me, how much I regretted what I’d said.

Y/n paused, her hand resting on the door handle, but she didn’t turn around.

“Why, Max? Why should I listen to you? So you can hurt me even more?” Her voice was so quiet, so filled with pain, that it made my chest ache.

“I didn’t mean it.” I said, my voice thick with emotion. “I was angry, and I said something stupid. I don’t wish I never met you—I could never wish that. You mean too much to me, Y/n. More than you could ever know.”

There was a long silence. I could see her shoulders shaking slightly, and I knew she was trying not to cry. It was killing me to see her like this, knowing I was the reason for her pain.

Finally, she let out a shaky breath, her voice barely audible.

“I never thought you’d hurt me like this, Max.” She turned to face me, and the look in her eyes nearly broke me. She looked so small, so vulnerable, and it was all my fault.

“I’m so sorry, Y/n.” I said, my voice trembling. “I’ll do anything to make it right. Please, just give me a chance.”

She looked down at the floor, her expression conflicted.

“I need time,” she said eventually, her voice tinged with exhaustion. “I just… I need to think.”

I nodded, even though the thought of being apart from her, even for a little while, made my chest tighten with fear.

“Take all the time you need,” I said softly. “I’ll be here when you’re ready.”

Y/n nodded, then turned and walked through the door, leaving me standing there alone in the corridor. I stared at the closed door for what felt like an eternity, my heart heavy with regret.

As I finally turned to walk away, I made a silent promise to myself. I would find a way to make this right, no matter what it took. Because Y/n wasn’t just my teammate—she was the one person in the world I couldn’t imagine living without.

Bonus scene!

Y/nusername instagram stories

“Rewatching old races, getting pretty and working”

This will have a part 2, if you want to be tagged let me know in the comments

[leighsartworks216]

Screaming crying crawling up the walls for your top tier Astarion content

Idk if you’ve seen this, it’s floating around the internet (I think it’s a tweet?) it says something like “I want someone to grab my face and say ON PURPOSE, I WILL CARE FOR YOU ON PURPOSE” and I’d love to see our love-deprived bi-centurion react to something like this.

Like maybe he’s caught feelings for tav and is starting to feel bad for manipulating them and starts self-sabotaging by saying/thinking stuff like ‘you only THINK you love me but it’s not real, I’m sorry I made you feel this way’ and tav getting v v serious and replying “I never loved you by accident”.

Him being confronted by the fact that things never would’ve gotten this far if they didn’t let it, if they didn’t choose him, that they’re still choosing him and that it has nothing to do with the act he put up or the situation he constructed, if they wanted nothing to do w him they could’ve and would’ve dipped.

Idk I’m just spitting ideas, have fun babe ✌����

- 🦇

I wrote this at 2am but I did proofread it (it's almost 4 now 💀)

Also the original tweet is by Jenny Slate (@/jennyslate) and says, "I just want someone to grab my little face and scream 'ON PURPOSE, ON PURPOSE I AM GOING TO CARE ABOUT YOU'"

Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader

Warnings: self-doubt, references to manipulation, self-deprecation, references to dissociation, dissociation mention, hurt/comfort

Word Count: 1,392

Main Masterlist

Baldur's Gate 3 Masterlist

AO3

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It began one night, almost a week ago. Astarion had gotten into the routine of joining you in your bedroll after feeding, cuddling close and relaxing to the steady sound of your heartbeat. That night, a week ago, he didn’t. He delicately bit into your skin and pulled away before you were even slightly dizzy, murmured something about how you’d need your strength for a fight tomorrow, and slipped off to hunt for animals. Truly, you didn’t think anything of it, then. And maybe you got so lost, so caught up in your daily stress, that was why you didn’t register it for so long. Comments under his breath about manipulation immediately covered up with Gale requesting a magical artifact or Shadowheart and Lae’zel fighting.

So, a week went by. And the realization finally hit. Guilt ate away at your stomach, but wallowing wasn’t going to help. When night started to creep in, your companions slipping into their tents, you slipped into Astarion’s. Sitting in a pile of pillows, he looked up at you with a smirk and a ‘Hello, darling’, but it didn’t reach his eyes. They were dark. Distant.

“I’m sorry I haven’t given you the attention you need,” you start. A baffled look flickers across his face, but it is not given the time to settle.

There is a twitch at the corner of his mouth, like it’s a strain for him to keep smirking. “It’s perfectly alright, darling. You’ve been busy running around camp, helping people - I understand.”

With any other person, this would have seemed a perfectly reasonable response. An apology accepted, a mutual understanding - the relationship goes on. Except, this was Astarion.

You sit down nearby, close enough to reach out and touch. Any closer and you worried you’d overcrowd him. You always tried to let him come to you first, though he usually struggled to initiate anything.

“You’ve been distant, too,” you point out. He begins to form the words to apologize, but you shake your head to stop him before they can build a sentence. “I’m not upset, I don’t need an apology. I just wanted to know why.”

To be honest, he didn’t expect you to notice. He assumed, quite stupidly, all things considered, that you would be too preoccupied to notice him slowly slipping away. Late night cuddles dashed for hunting, hand holding forgotten as he trails along at the back of the group, kisses never lingering and the ones that did lacking any emotion behind them.

“Is something wrong?” you prompt gently. “If it’s too much, we can work out what would be better for you.”

Guilt stabs at his own non-beating heart like a wooden stake. He’s drifting and you still throw him a rope, still ask for him to grab on and pull himself away from his past, from dissociating with the slightest hint of affection.

He smiles wryly. “I can’t hide anything from you, can I?” he teases, but it comes out a little too strained to be a joke. His fingers fiddle with the corner of the page of his book. He finds watching the paper fold and bend is much more interesting than looking into your eyes.

He sighs. “I’m sorry, my dear,” he says, but the endearment feels like fire on his tongue, “but it’s not real. This isn’t real.” Your brow furrows as you stare at him. He can’t bear to see the realization cross your face. “Two hundred years of manipulating - of course I would trick you, too. It’s instinct, darling, I don’t blame you.” Red eyes finally meet yours. You look confused, of course, but there’s an air of determination, like you’re ready to fight whatever plagues him. “But this… love… it’s not real. And for what it’s worth, I am sorry I made you feel this way.”

He expects anger. He expects tears, even. Crying and shouting and ‘How could you?!’s and ‘I can’t believe you’ve manipulated me all this time!’ But it never comes. You frown, sure, but it’s leagues away from being angry.

“You think… you manipulated me into feeling this way?”

It shouldn’t hurt as much as it does. Admitting it feels bitter. He blames it on his growing fondness for you, but he knows it cannot possibly be returned in any genuine way. Not with his underhanded tactics surfacing at every passing glance, soft brush, and gentle smile. “Come now, darling,” he smirks again, building a wall to separate himself from the shitshow that must be just ‘round the corner, “who could really love me?”

That only succeeds in making you frown further. “Astarion, I’m not with you because you’ve tricked me.” The baffled look from earlier surfaces again, but it lingers, mixed with doubt. “I understand that you started this to manipulate me into protecting you, but I’m not here because you successfully influenced my emotions - To be perfectly honest, I could tell from the start.”

He laughs dryly, suddenly, like it startles him. “And here I was thinking I’d learned some subtlety.”

You don’t laugh with him. You don’t even smile. “I chose you, Astarion. I still choose to be with you. Because I want to.”

Any lingering mask of confidence fell from his face. The creases around his mouth became more prominent as he frowned. His eyes darted around, glancing around your face for any tells of deception, any hint that you’re making this up to make him feel better. “How can you be sure? How do you know you’re choosing me and not just buying into another act?”

“Astarion.” You get on your knees and hold his face in your hands. He stares up at you with big, round eyes. “If I wanted to, I could break up with you. I am not staying because I feel stuck, or because I feel obligated to. I love you. On purpose. On purpose, I am staying with you. On purpose, I choose you.”

He opens his mouth, but no words form. His mind is reeling, chasing to catch up and process everything, all the while jumping and flipping, trying to find excuses or reasons why you shouldn’t care for him. He swallows the lump building in his throat. He speaks in a whisper, too stunned to speak louder. “Are you sure?”

Your whole face softens. Determination turns to fond affection, frown lifting into a soft grin. “Yes. I’m sure.” You press a kiss to his forehead, and he closes his eyes to savor it. It’s been a week without allowing himself your love - he deserves to enjoy it once again, even if he feels guilty for it. He wishes his thoughts would just shut up and let him have this. “If you still need space or time, I’ll be here. I’m not leaving. Just,” you pull his face back, “please talk to me about this next time. I know things have been hectic, but I’m never too busy for you.”

He sighs, slow and soft. Relieved. “Of course, my love.” He adores the way you smile brightly at the endearment. He turns sheepish. “Ah, could I, possibly, join you tonight? It does, admittedly, get rather lonely passing the time alone.”

You kiss his cheek. “Of course you can. C’mon, I’ll even play with your hair if you’d like.”

He chuckles, genuine this time. “I very much would.” His book is set aside, the page he left off on lost as he takes your hand and follows you from his tent. He can’t help himself from squeezing your hand in his, like he can’t quite grasp the fact you are physically holding onto him. Even when you lay down first and he settles in next to you, arms wrapped around your middle and his head on your chest, it still feels hard to believe. But the way you wrap your arms around him and gently detangle his curls and scratch lightly at his scalp cannot possibly be from his imagination. Nor the way you press kisses on his forehead and temple and hair with sweet praises and words of affection. His mind is not kind enough to imagine such tenderness.

Laying there in your arms, listening to the steady beat of your heart and even breaths that fill your lungs as you slip into sleep, is the closest he has ever been to true contentment.

---

Tag List:

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[anikaluv]

TOO MANY CURLS —

❤︎︎ pairing: Miles (e!1610) × Miles (e!42) × fem!black!reader

❤︎︎ genre: fluff

❤︎︎ cw: Miles (e!42) is named Myles (creative Ik), Myles being tender headed lol, reader gets relaxer, cussing, reader is tender headed :(

❤︎︎ summary: Spider-Man!Miles and Prowler!Miles as Twins where you get a relaxer and they lose their shit (feat. Rio Morales)

❤︎︎ w/c: 1k

❤︎︎ a/n: Thought it would be funny to write this like drabble, also I feel light in the Morales home they take hair routine VERY seriously so I wanted to write what would happen if this played out.

You’ve been embracing your thick curls since you were a little girl. Your love for your natural hair was absolute, but lately, the maintenance had become overwhelming. Wash days were a struggle, the pain of detangling made you dread the process, and the amount of combs you had broken was making a run for your money.

So you decided to get a relaxer.

“It was either that or the big chop” you reasoned with yourself. It had to happen at some point you concluded. 

Months have passed since you made the switch, and you've had mixed feelings. You sometimes miss the bouncy curls that used to define your look, but it’s like a weight has been lifted off your head, literally.

On this particular day, you decided to visit the Morales family after receiving a heartfelt text from Mrs. Morales,  “Necesito a mi dulce ángel de vuelta a casa (I need my sweet angel back home)."

Walking through the familiar corridors of the apartment building, you feel a sense of nostalgia. These hallways have witnessed your growth since childhood. As you approached the Morales' apartment door, you gave a soft knock, hoping to find the family inside.

The door slowly creaked open releasing sounds of blasted music, pots and pots clicking, sports of tv and various other noises. You giggled to yourself. This family will never change, you thought.

The door opened further, revealing it to be Miles. “Hey, chiquita, how are you-“ . His words trail off as he takes in your appearance. His jaw drops, and silence fills the air as he gazes at your transformed hair, clearly shocked by the change.

Miles’ eyes well up with tears as he embraces you tightly, his hands gently rubbing your back. "Oh, cariño (sweetheart)!" he exclaims, overcome with emotion. "What happened? Did some cabrón (asshole) come into your room and take down your braids?" His concern is evident in his serious tone as he looks deep into your eyes.

You raise your eyebrows in surprise, not expecting Miles to jump to such an extreme conclusion. Playfully shaking him off, you assure him, "No, of course not! I-"

Suddenly, Myles appears at the front door, searching for you. His reaction is no different from Myles’, “Miles is [your name] here yet- Oh lord.” He covers his mouth in shock, his eyes wide with disbelief. Anger fills him as he looks at your hair, his protective instincts kicking in.

“Who did this to you, mami?”, Myles asked bringing his fists together angrily. You wondered how this situation is getting out of hand so quickly. “You know me and Miles can run up on a guy.”, Miles nodded, agreeing with his twin statement as he also brought his fists together. 

Raising your arms in defense at the both of them, you tried to explain what happened carefully, “Guys, relax. I did this to myself guys, I just got tired of my hair. I had too many curls. It was too much”, you admitted. The boys scoffed in disbelief. They refused to believe that you would get rid of your perfect hair for that reason.

Before you could continue to further explain yourself, Rio Morales enters the doorway with a plate of snacks. She drops the plate in shock when she sees you, her eyes filled with sorrow. Cupping your cheeks, she exclaims, "Dios mio (Oh my god)! Who did this to you, angelita (angel)?” Her motherly instincts kick in, ready to protect you. "You know Miles and Myles can find whoever did this and teach them a lesson," she adds, echoing the boys' sentiments. The twins nod in agreement, standing by their mother's words.

Rio's fingers glided gently through your now straight hair, memories of the beautiful little girl with the luscious curly afro that you had proudly worn over the years flashed through her mind. It seemed as though time had slipped away, taking that part of you with it. She couldn't help but feel a sense of loss, and she knew she had to do something about it.

"We're going to the store. Now."

Confused, you furrowed your eyebrows. "What? Why?" But before you could get any answers, you found yourself being swiftly dragged out of the house, just as abruptly as you had been brought in.

The atmosphere in the Morales home was loud and vibrant. Soul music playing through the Morales speakers as laughter and lively conversations swirled around the room.

You sat comfortably on the floor as Rio applied the leave-in “curl enhancing” moisture conditioner into your hair. The sun setting casting a gold glow inside the room, adding to the cozy essence in the room.

As you gazed out of the window, watching the cars zip by on the busy streets below, you couldn't help but express your gratitude to Rio. "Thank you for today. Even though I tried to ignore it, deep down, not having my curls felt… different," you confessed.

With a gentle touch, Rio hummed and continued her work, applying the hair products she had carefully selected for your curls. She massaged them into your scalp with care and responded affectionately, "Anytime, baby." Her smile filled you with a sense of comfort.

As Rio went to set a timer for the conditioner, you turned your attention to the Morales twins. Miles had his bonnet securely in place while Myles sat below him, enduring the detangling process while having a fit. “Bro you doin it too hard be gentle!”, Myles whined. Miles popped him with the comb when Myles tried to put his hands in his hair and hold it down. “I don’t wanna hear this from you after you skipped cleaning your braids for almost a month!”, Miles snapped back while sucking his teeth and shaking his head disapprovingly.

You found yourself giggling at the twins antics, appreciating the support and love that the Morales family extended to you. They were there for you, even when you didn't realize you needed them, ready to lend a helping hand and stand by your side.

Now every time you feel like doing your hair is too hard , you do your wash days at the Morales home and receive all the help you need, and face the problems together.

ENDING A/N:  I thought this would be a funny idea lol, I tried to make it seem like the Morales family wasn’t forcing her back to curls against her will, yk? I think that reader would most likely miss her curls a lot, and be happy she got a lil push back to ‘em :)

TAGLIST: @janaeby @bellstwd @nmgstuff @axeoverblade @zaddyskye69 @agstuffsworld @spidrstar @laylasbunbunny@missusmorale @popeheywardssecretgf @lumineliax@fukingsad @wisteriaflowersss @crxss01

TAGS:

[thosefookinavacados]

This grief is a strange one. I woke up today, and I feel just as bad. But at the same time, I got up, I texted my best friends, I went on with my routine. Dressed up and left home to go for a driving class. I’m going to go back home, have lunch, do my work, call my best friend again. Attend a class, go out to a temple, come back and call my other best friend. There doesn’t seem to be any explanation, any appropriate term that coins everything i am feeling. My physical life remains unaltered, but there wouldn’t be this, there just wouldn’t be this if it weren’t for this band. I wouldn’t be here. If I hadn’t decided to find this band again back in 2020, I would’ve never met one of my best friends, never reconnected with the other. To put it really simply, One Direction saved me, the people I met through this band saved me. Liam may not have been the same person he was, we never actually knew who he truly was. All we know is that feeling. That feeling was the reason we decided to listen to another song, then another, then another ‘till they became such an integral part of our history, as we were theirs.

I have spent the last couple of months mulling over what it means to be an actual adult. The fact that I’m going to have to take my emotions on the go with me. The fact that life never stops for anyone, in the best and the worst ways possible. But the sudden glare of death has also got me thinking about how we as people are like russian nesting dolls. In the layers, there rests a child. When we grow up, we just build another layer over it. We don’t shed who we were, we just grow to become something bigger than that. The reason this grief is so layered is because literally speaking, it is. I grieve as the 9 year old who found this band in the first place. I grieve as the 12 year old who thought they were the coolest thing ever. I grieve for the 13 year old who found them all over again. I grieve for the joy they gave a 15 year old who finally started to find her footing again. I grieve about the fact won’t ever feel what my younger selves felt. And I’ll grieve, I’ll cry some more, I’ll get back to work. I won’t listen to music for a while.

But there will come a day, where a One Direction song will play again because how could I ever live without their music? It won’t ever feel the same, but it won’t feel all that different either- the grief exists because the love does. This love just hurts a little. It wont feel the same, but we’ll always remember how they danced. And even if it is for a split second, we’ll find home again.

[youronlylie]

hello people in my phone

BOONE head cannon list, just a mix of stuff that'll probably change later ( THERE WILL BE MORE ) 1/?

• He undoubtedly was ripped/heavily worked out being in the ncr, after moving to novac and loosing his wife he undoubtedly lost a lot of muscle but...guys he still is literally like beefed.

• He cannot fucking cook for shit, he understands what shouldn't be put in your body but from there he has no clue.

• Going off of cooking, he has strict times where he eats, like routine from the ncr.

• For some reason he strikes me as a guy who really enjoys fruit whenever he can get his hands on it.

• Cannot tolerate any sort of spice.

• Smells very mettalic, sweaty, like man must.

• Has a soft spot for cats.

• 1000% is not bald, just shaves his head as he probably prefers the look.

• I feel like with a romantic partner, since he isn't one much for talking his love language would be physical touch or gift giving, I could imagine him seeing stuff he knows they'd like and saving it for later, excited to see how they'd react.

• He would definitely have a special place in his heart for fantasy movies, he doesn't seem to be able to express himself well and I feel like the creativity of something like lord of the rings would get him going.

• I seriously cannot pick so I'll include both, he is either an extreme cuddler with a romantic partner or on very rare occasions, he's just terrible at expressing emotion.

• If the courier and him are something like romantic partners he'd definitely never be able to sleep, often awake staring and listening for noises, waiting for the next cascade of legionares but it never happens and he eventually learns that.

• I don't think he'd ever get married again unless it'd be over 20 or so years in the future, it's a type of commitment that I don't think he could mentally handle whatsoever unless he is totally over Carla.

• I definitely do think boone could find love again in another person, he's scared and alone, fearful for any sort of attachment.

• 10000% has really really nice man hands, like large hands with nice fingers.

• Is definitely tall but not close to arcade tall, 6' ish at MOST, I just feel like looking at his build and concept art that he is definitely a tall man.

• Secretly really has a thing for drawing whenever he can, especially when he was nested at novac, sitting up top the dinosaur scribbling stuff on old receipts or whatever else it helps him get his emotions and thoughts out.

• irl he would be so patriotic it's not even funny, like he'd go all out for fourth of July but is the somber type so he'd cook hot dogs and whatever else then sit in the corner and watch everyone else.

• Has a thing for memorizing features, very very very intuitive and will remember almost anything you tell him.

• He is so the type of guy to enjoy snow, like yeah he'd probably be kinda pissy for a bit but if you pushed his buttons enough I feel like he'd mess around with the courier.

• He absolutely like no doubt has nightmares, like the ones where you erupt in cold sweat and your throat is sore.

• If he does sleep like ever, along with nightmares he grips the sheets, rolls around a whole lot, mumbles. In the ncr he was the total opposite, stone faced, layed straight and slept some what peacefully until later on in his ncr years.

• Yearns for someone, even platonic, to just sit beside him, no words and scratch his back and kinda just touch him lightly. I don't think he'd cry but it's something I could imagine would bring him close to tears.

• He absolutely probably finds almost everyone annoying, like, he just is done with everything and doesn't give two shits about what anyone has to say unless the courier puts some sense into him.

• Really disagrees with gambling, just doesn't like it.

• Wishes he had a nice farm house, out somewhere away from everything, where it has everything he needs and could be away from absolutely everyone. ( of course after extracting revenge on the legion )

• He wants to learn how to play guitar, either he has tried and is horrible or has just never gotten the chance, I have a feeling he'd really be into (irl) like classic rock or something smooth.

• Cannot look at people with features his wife had the same, down to personality or looks.

• Absolutely dreads deep down without realizing going back to novac when the courier disbands him.

• He would like having books read to him, he's a listener not a reader, likes hearing people's voices just not his own.

• At a point probably had a nickname for his rifle, something like Beth or something that was a joke between him and Manny.

• Manny 1000% at a point tried hinting to boone or even confessing his love for him, either the point never got across or they got over it together. ( somewhat ish at a point )

• In all reality I play him out to be a really sweet guy, which I can imagine and he can somewhat tend to be but he ultimately really doesn't care, he'll kill in order to get what he wants ( so be it revenge or whatever else ) even if he isn't necessarily fond of it.

• At a point, consumed by guilt he forgets what Carla looks like and that eats him up inside, like the teeth gritting soul crushing ache for revenge, and a year or two leads him to completely forget her complexion.

[strayseraphine]

choice | one shot

pairing: bang chan x fem!reader

summary: The opportunity to work in the same place as your childhood best friend is a great, right? Unfortunately, it turns out that it's hard to control the emotions that have been swirling in your hearts for years when you're at arm's length. fluff, a little bit of angst, jealousy, friends to lovers, cheesy fic with our silly cute channie

The kdrama mentioned is called Tomorrow and the fic mentions about episode 5, you have been warned. Here is the song from the episode that also appears in the fic.

TW: menfions of suicide, death, depression

5 204 words

the one shot is also avaliable on ao3

bang chan masterlist | general masterlist | stranger things masterlist

Holding the handle of your suitcase tightly, you felt like a child lost in a crowd. You were breathless, and instead of slowing down, your breathing sped up and became more and more erratic.

What on earth tempted you to leave your entire life so far and fly to the other end of the world?

Then, as if on a call, a reason appeared in front of your eyes.

Despite the cap and mask covering his face, you immediately recognized him. However, not wanting to draw attention to you, you came closer and in silence went to the car, where immediately after closing the door you felt strong arms tighten around you.

"I missed you so much!" he muttered, snuggling into your neck.

"I missed you too, Channie." you laughed as you reciprocated the hug, smelling his perfume, which he had been using since you can remember. You didn't know it was possible to miss a scent that much.

"I can't believe I'm going to work with my best friend!" he said.

"First of all, you're lucky the boys can't hear it, secondly we won't."

"What do you mean we won't?"

"I, unlike you, will be locked in the office."

"But we will be in the same building! We will be able to spend our breaks together, I can bring you coffee and snacks!" he said excitedly with a wide smile on his face and squeezed your hand. You didn't complain about the fact that he didn't let go of you until the car pulled up to your new temporary home.

Two months ago, Chan called you saying that at JYP they were looking for someone for a temporary translator position. Since you were fresh out of college in the process of looking for a job, he thought you should definitely apply. Thinking little, you submitted your application.

Three weeks later, you received an invitation to an online interview, which resulted in a successful outcome and a contract signed for six months.

The experience you were able to gain working for this company was extremely valuable, but you were ashamed to admit that your main motivation for coming here was Chris. As children, the two of you were inseparable, but when he left Australia to chase his dreams both of you stubbornly made sure that contact did not disappear. When he came home on vacation you spent most of your free time together feeling as if he had never left.

Somewhere between playing together in the sandbox, sneaking out of the house for the late-night walks you used to go for when he returned to Australia during his teenage years and skipping lectures at uni just so you could spend the day and then the night with him, a strong bond formed between you.

In it there was something else to be found.

Something you both tried to ignore and push away.

Something that you were killing in each other thinking it was one-sided.

Something that you tried to keep in an iron, indestructible cage deep in your hearts.

Something that shattered the bars every time you saw each other.

The weeks at work were passing awfully fast. Your new co-workers welcomed you very warmly, meetings with Chris became your daily routine, and you felt more and more comfortable here every day. Keeping the promise, you spent all your lunch breaks together, sometimes joined by other members of the group. You quickly became part of the meetings. You even accompanied them during dance rehearsals and studio recordings. Especially Chan. Sitting with him in the studio until the morning hours and greeting sunrises together became almost a habit.

Today, however, you had the day off, while Chris had a full day of rehearsal for the gala to be held in a week's time. A strange feeling of emptiness and longing accompanied you throughout the day. You weren't afraid to admit that you were already used to his daily presence. However, you were afraid to think what will happen when you have to go back to Australia.

In order to focus your thoughts on something else after lunch you turned into a couch potato and started watching kdrama. Completely losing all sense of reality, you fully gave yourself over to the stories of the characters, which moved you to tears. You were snapped out of your trance by a phone call.

"Hello?" you said in a broken voice, not even trying to hide that you were crying. Unfortunately, the other side of the phone remained quiet and quickly hung up. Not caring much you wanted to go back to watching, but moments later Chan barged into your apartment without even bothering to knock on the door.

"Chris? what are you doing here?" you asked surprised still sobbing.

"What happened?" He asked. The sight of your heartbroken voice on the phone made his heart freeze.

"What?"

"We finished training, so I figured you were probably still awake and in the mood for something to eat, I called and heard you crying. What happened?" he explained quickly with a worried expression on his face.

"Oh god… Nothing happened! It just- It was just so damn beautifull and sad!" you laughed through your tears.

"Were you watching drama again?" he just sighed feeling small relief.

"Of course I was!"

"You almost gave me a heart attack!"

"I am sorry!" you threw a pillow in his diercion.

"Okay, okay, what was it about?" he shook his head, sitting down next to you.

"She died in a car accident, and he was someone who had to deal with a lot of deaths of his loved ones, his whole life, everyone blamed him for it! and he did nothing wrong!" you felt like your throat was shrinking. "His father blamed him for his mother's death because she died while giving birth, then when his wife died, her father also blamed him and he was in such a dark place, he wanted to kill himself, he believed them, that it was his fault!" you were ranting about character history, and he was just looking at you with a smile on his lips.

Despite the fact that your eyes were swollen and red from crying, he found something somehow adorable. Something pure. Something that made him want to hide you in his arms and kiss the tears off your cheeks. However, he quickly had to chase these thoughts away. After all, he was incapable of falling in love, wasn't he?

"And they show love in such a beautiful way here! Maybe I don't agree with "you are my whole life attitude" but in other aspects? They compare human beings to a tree, you know? People are like trees, And what matters is who makes the flowers bloom on the tree, which means your life can change depending on who you meet. At that moment she proposes to him, saying she wants to be the one to make the flowers on his tree bloom."

"A beautiful metaphor." he replied.

"Right? Later they present the red thread theory, which says that they are connected to each other and will find each other in each incarnation, which gives such a strange sense of hope! But I still think love is more of a choice than a destiny, which seems much stronger, because if I heard from someone now that I'm their whole world and their life doesn't exist without me I don't know if I'd be scared."

"How is it that you're one of the most romantic people I know, and you're afraid of such great confessions of love?" he asked.

"Imagine being in a relationship with a very toxic person, and when you want to get away from them they start threatening to kill themselves because they can't live without you. People in moments of desperation are able to go as far as anything, and love, despite the fact that it is very beautiful, can make a person very stupid." you explained.

"You are right."

"I am lucky enough to have some people who genuinely want the flowers on my tree bloom." you smiled. "You are one of them, by the way." you leaned your head on his shoulder.

"Yeah, you also take very good care of my tree." he replied without thinking. "Not only mine." he added quickly with a grunt. He began thinking about how other people feel in your company. About how there is always brightness and warmth in the room along with you. About how in his life the dark void was decorated with shining stars creating a beautiful night sky thanks to you.

"Who do you think your red thread is connected to?" you asked suddenly after a moment of silence.

"Mine?" he asked puzzled. Certainly not with the person I would like to. He thought. "Mine has probably been broken."

"I don't think so, in the show they said it only breaks at the moment of suicide. You are still here Chan, your thread surely leads to someone wonderful, as you deserve." You patted him on the knee. "Oh! there was also a very beautiful song in this episode, wanna hear?"

"Sure." He replied quietly and watched you get up from the couch to your laptop. He watched your every move, hoping to spot at least the thinnest red thread between the two of you.

"Can you focus?" Lee Know asked rolling his eyes.

"Earth to kangaroo! Where are you Chan?" added Han waving his hand in front of his face.

"I am focused, I don't know what you mean." he replied trying to defend himself.

"We have been practicing the same routine for an hour, and you are messing up the steps as if you were dancing it for the first time. " Minho squinted his eyes.

"Come on, give him a break, he is in looove." laughed Hyunjin.

"I am not!"

"We can see that there is something between the two of you, we can see how you look at her, you can't fool us, you do not look at a friend like that."

"I am not in love with y/n!" he said loudly, but without conviction. Saying those words caused him pain. Somehow saying that he doesn't love you felt wrong.

"But you know…none of us said her name out loud." said Changbin more peacefully.

"But-" Chan sighed and resignedly hid his face in his hands. For years he had pushed his feelings aside, but now that you were so close and had become an integral part of his life it was too difficult.

"Why you never let me bring her brownies that I made?" Felix laughed.

"Why do you always smile like an idiot when she sends you a photo?" I.N added.

"Let's just go back to the practice." He cut off the subject, knowing that the guys were right. Nevertheless, he knew that the moment he admitted it, nothing would be the same again, and changes can be scary.

In every job, no matter how wonderful, there are hard times. Today, some of your co-workers decided to take out their bad mood and frustration over non-functioning equipment on the team you were on. Although you knew that their bad mood was caused by the work reorganization, some unpleasant comments and remarks were particularly memorable and ruined your mood.

Due to a system failure that prevented you from working, you were told to go home before lunch, so you were not surprised to hear the sound of the phone at the hour when you usually meet.

"Where are you?" asked Chan.

"There was a system malfunction and they let us go home."

"So you won't be joining us?"

"What? Why?" Felix's voice came from the background. "But I made brownies! I brought them for you!" he took Chan's phone closer.

"Give me the phone, Felix!"

There was a commotion on the other side of the phone. You could imagine Felix running away with the phone and the guys helping him keep the leader at bay.

"Hey y/n!"

"Hey Seungmin, what's up?"

"Bang Chan misses you!" you could hear the smile in his voice.

"Tell him I miss him too," you chuckled.

"Okay, that's enough!" judging by Seungmin's mumbling and laughing, you concluded that the phone had returned to its owner.

"Talk to you later, bye!" he hung up before you had time to answer anything.

Since you had more time today, you decided to use it for cleaning, which always helped you to calm down to some extent, losing yourself in it and in the music from the speaker, you didn't know when a few hours had passed. Satisfied with your clean surroundings, you sat down on the couch, but after a while you felt a wave of fatigue hit you. With nothing better to do, you covered yourself with a blanket and fell asleep.

Unfortunately, this time the nap did not help your mood, and the sound of a knock on the door that woke you up made you even more upset. Covered with a blanket, you moved slowly toward the door. Then, as if by magic, when you saw Chan in the doorway, all your anger vanished and was replaced by…relief?

With a mournful whimper, you let your emotions carry you and without asking, you hugged him, cuddling into his chest. Surprised at first, he made no move, but he quickly woke up and you felt him embrace you. The familiar scent of his perfume created a sense of security in your mind that made every negative feeling inside you want to find an escape. Your breathing became more and more shaky as you fought back the tears that came to your eyes.

"Hey, it's okay," he said, sensing your stress. "Let it out, I'm here." His large hand began to slide up and down your back, caressing you.

"You are here." you muttered while snuggling even more into his shirt. He had the feeling that his heart was now on fire, but it wasn't the heat causing unbearable pain. It was the fire that slowly burns in the fireplace on winter evenings warming the house. Home. That's how he felt in your company.

"Come, let's sit down and you'll tell me all about it." he suggested, however, you still did not want to leave his arms. Selfishly you tightened your embrace without moving from your spot. "We can cuddle on the couch, come on." he chuckled seeing your reaction. Sitting snuggled into each other, Chan connected to the speaker and played your playlist with calmer songs in the background. It took a moment before you started to open up and talk about what had overwhelmed you today.

"I am so sorry." he murmured into your hair.

"I feel better now." you replied quietly.

"For real?"

"You are here so…yes."

A silence fell between the two of you but it was not awkward. At this level of friendship, shared silence was not something new or strange for you. The silence was broken by the sounds of another song.

"Ah, I love this song," he said. "I can't stop listening to it since you showed it to me."

"Well, I'm glad you liked it."

Along with the melody and the singer, Chan's soft and calm voice also began to spread around the room. You closed your eyes relishing the blissful moment, thinking you had found something good in this awful day. If it weren't for the nasty mood, you wouldn't have found comfort and solace in his arms.

How wonderful it would be if you could do this without any excuse?

"Do you remember when we fell asleep together like that, and Hannah took a picture of us and sent it out to all our friends and family saying that we were together?" he asked when the song was over.

"Yes," you laughed slightly at the memory.

"God, I wanted to kill her then." he also laughed.

"Why?"

"Uh, I mean its us, right? Best friends, how could anyone think we are a couple?" he replied embarrassed. This answer turned out to be a strong punch, which you had to take with clenched teeth and pretend that everything was fine.

The thing you didn't know was that what he said was just an escape from the truth. That day when everyone was congratulating you and telling you that you were finally a couple, he was afraid like nothing else that you would discover the truth about his feelings and that deep down he really wanted it to be true. Unfortunately, he did not know that you were on the same page.

Best friends, how could anyone think we are a couple?

These words haunted you for the next few days. No matter how good your mood was, they always came back ruining it instantly. They also pushed you to accepting a date to which you were invited by an employee from the marketing department. You were very often matched for joint projects, you worked very well together, you found nothing of agreement right away, but you didn't see this being blinded by Chan and your feelings for him. But since in his opinion you were just friends and had no chance to get out of this sphere, it was time to move on.

"y/n do you have any plans for tomorrow?" I.N asked, passing you in the hallway.

"I don't have until four, why?"

"We have a day off and we wanted to go shopping with Felix, why don't you go for a walk with us?"

"Sure!" the idea was good, you took it as an opportunity to buy something nice for your date.

"Cool, in that case we'll be in touch!" Maknae smiled charmingly, reminding you how similar he is to his skzoo.

"Sounds like a plan." you smiled back and returned to your desk. The rest of the day passed very smoothly and quickly for you.

Before you knew it you were already on your way to go shopping. Yeongin and Felix carefully browsed each hanger however you absent-mindedly only glanced superficially at the clothes. Your date was getting closer and closer however the less time left the more anxious and uncertain you felt. The fact that the person you were to spend the evening with was not Chan made it all seem…wrong.

How else were you able to move on?

Was it fair what you were doing now?

How would you feel if someone went on a date with you just to forget about someone else?

On the other hand, after all, that wasn't your only motive. In truth, you liked Minjun. He was handsome, kind, funny, you had many common interests, you really wanted to get to know him better.

"Earth to y/n!" the voice of Felix brought you back to reality.

"What?" you shrugged.

"Say hello to Chan!" Yeongin exclaimed happily, pointing his phone's camera at you. "We decided to show him how much fun we are having while he has to work."

"You are cruel!" at the sound of his voice you felt like you were caught in a crime. Not knowing what to do you awkwardly waved towards the camera, and then grabbed the first better dress and hid in the fitting room feeling embarrassed. What the hell is wrong with you? you thought looking at your reflection in the mirror.

"Hey, are you okay?" Felix asked lightly knocking on the fitting room door.

"Uh-yes!" you replied quickly, "I'm just trying on a dress!"

"In that case we are waiting for you to show up in it!"

The dress turned out to lie perfectly on you. The guys' assurances that you look good in it finally convinced you to the purchase.

When you got home it was time for preparations. Preparations that stressed you out even more. You tried to drown out your thoughts with music, but it was especially hard when a large part of your playlist consisted of songs by a band whose leader is the person you are trying to forget. The other part of the playlist was the songs you associated with him anyway. When you heard the first notes of Summer Flower you felt that you were in a no-win situation. If for so many years, being thousands of miles away, you had not managed to forget him how were you supposed to do it now having him at your fingertips almost every day? With a sigh you looked at the couch thinking about the moment when he held you there in his arms harmonizing his voice with the song.

What if he were here now?

What if now instead of getting ready for a date you were preparing snacks for a movie night together?

If you could spend the whole afternoon and evening cuddled up with him, holding his hand or playing with his hair if he laid his head on your lap?

Apparently, fate could read your mind, because as you combed your hair through the sound of the music a knock at the door broke through. Then you were greeted by the sight of Chris with a bag of snacks.

"I thought since I missed shopping together, we could make up for it with a marathon instead." he said dodging you at the threshold and entering the apartment.

Not knowing what to say you stared at him. The silence on your part prompted him to stop. Still not guessing anything, he noticed the brush in your hand and the knot in your hair. "Come on, let me help you." You went to the bedroom where you sat in front of the mirror. He hummed under his breath combing your hair with a slight smile on his lips enjoying this little moment. Whenever he combed your hair you laughed that he was giving you the princess treatment. That wasn't the case this time, which made him feel a little strange. "What do you feel like? a movie? kdrama? anime?" he tried to strike up a conversation. The fact that you haven't spoken a word since he came in increased this feeling.

"Chris…" Hearing your quiet, nervous voice he looked around. A dress hanging on a hanger, waiting to be put on, cosmetics scattered next to the mirror, an open jewelry box. It didn't take him long to guess that watching together today wouldn't work out.

"Are you going out somewhere?" he asked.

"I'm going on a date…" You said while sticking your gaze to the floor.

"Oh." visibly surprised, he stopped combing your hair for a moment. "Who's the lucky guy?" he asked in a forced joking tone, not wanting to make the situation seem even stranger.

"Minjun from the marketing department." you wanted to avoid looking at him at all costs. You were afraid of what you might see if you lifted your gaze. You were afraid that you would see disappointment, or worse, happiness and satisfaction that you were going out with someone else. However, if you actually looked at him you would see Channie's charming smile turn into a heartbroken expression. He could feel the jealousy building up in him, which he had to nip in the bud already. He couldn't let you notice, so he finished combing your hair as quickly as possible and left, explaining that he didn't want to disturb your preparations. You didn't protest, but something inside you was asking, begging even to tell you not to go anywhere and to stay here with him.

"I can't believe you lost to the guy from the marketing department." said Minho sitting down on the couch next to him. As soon as he left your flat he wanted to hole up in the studio however, halfway through a message about a movie marathon appeared on the group chat.

"Actually, he didn't lose because there was no competition," said Han.

"Exactly, if you had told her how you felt earlier she would have definitely chosen you" added Changbin.

"Can we focus on the movie?" he asked exasperatedly.

"Sorry hyung but this is definitely more interesting than the movie". said Hyunjin.

"You should go there and break the date." suggested Seungmin.

"Make up some excuse and call that you two absolutely must meet now!" I.N followed his idea.

"Can you guys just shut up and focus on the movie?" he asked more annoyed. There was a silence all around, which made him feel even worse. "I'm sorry…" he sighed. "I know I screwed up, but it's too late."

"We just want you to be happy." said Felix handing him a brownie on a plate.

"Even if it did work out…she doesn't deserve to hide and keep everything a secret."

"Maybe she won't mind? Maybe you can find a solution? Whatever is going on between you two has been going on for years, look how far you've come."

"Let's just focus on the movie, please."

Despite the fact that the guys had let the subject go and now the room was filled with laughter and loud comments about what was happening on the screen Chris couldn't focus at all. His head was filled with scenarios of what you can do now, did you have fun, did you let him hold your hand? hug you? kiss you? Jealousy bubbled up inside him but what could he do?

Somewhere near the end of the movie, his phone started vibrating with notifications, which he decided to ignore. Seungmin, however, annoyed by the constant vibrating, grabbed his phone to mute it but your nickname caught his attention.

"Chan you won't believe who it is." he said with a smile and started typing something.

"Who?" asked the unmoved leader, the only person he wanted to see a message from now was having a great time on a date with someone else. He didn't get an answer for a long moment.

"y/n didn't go on the date." This sentence made all the energy come back to him and he immediately snatched the phone from his hand to see the news.

c97b: why are you sending me tiktoks while being on a date? (your nickname): I am not on the date c97b: what? (your nickname): he cancelled last minute, so…

He looked at the phone in disbelief.

"Do something!" a shout from Lee Know brought him back to reality.

"This is your chance!" applauded Changbin.

Before he had time to think anything through his fingers were already running across the keyboard.

c97b: put the dress on. (your nickname): what? c97b: wear the dress, I will be there in 10.

What the hell is he doing? What will he tell you? How will he behave?

Thoughts and insecurities ate him from the inside out, and his hand was shaking when he was knocking at the door. However, when you opened it suddenly all the bad thoughts disappeared. All that mattered was how beautiful you looked now, and the struggle with the need to take you in his arms and not let you out of them.

Greeting you with a boyishly charming smile, he said it would be a shame if all your preparations for the going out went to waste. It was enough to make your disappointment with Minjun disappear. Enough for him to completely disappear from your thoughts which were once again completely possessed by your best friend.

Enjoying the last rays of sunshine today you went to the park for ice cream. You took a blanket with you to sit on the grass near the pond.

The meeting was not much different from the others, you were talking about everything and nothing, walking along the winding paths, watching the dogs playing, laughing how wonderful it would be to have little Berry here with you now and how she would love it here. The ice cream was the perfect cool down and sweetness, but Chan's showing dimples and his silly jokes were much sweeter.

Moments before sunset, you spread out your blanket and sat in silence watching the sky slowly turning orange and the sun disappearing behind the horizon directing its last warm rays at you, which you accepted with a smile.

"Thank you Channie." you said looking away from the scenery. Now you were able to notice that instead of watching the sunset, he was looking at you.

"You have nothing to thank me for." He shrugged his shoulders.

"For being there." You smiled slightly.

"I always will be." he replied without thinking.

"That's what friends are for, right?" You couldn't help the note of sadness creeping into your voice.

"y/n…" suddenly his face paled.

"What's wrong?" you asked worriedly.

"I think- I-" he began to stammer.

"Chris, whats going on?" The darkest scenarios appeared in front of your eyes, and panic rose in you.

"I think I am in love with you." he whispered.

"Oh my god-" surprised you covered your mouth with your hand. The shock on your face scared him more than it would have if your reaction had been instant rejection.

"I know, I know! But- I beg you even if you don't feel the same, let's just forget about it, I just had to tell you, finally after all these years, I couldn't hold it in anymore, but I understand that I'm just a friend to you, I don't want to lose you just because of some stupid feelings, hmp-" suddenly his ranting was interrupted by your lips. Sweet, soft lips that he had dreamed of touching for years. He had just fulfilled a scenario that had always seemed unattainable. Without wasting a moment he cupped your face making you cling even closer to him. The happiness that filled you pressed a smile to your lips that interrupted the kiss.

"If your feelings are stupid that means mine are too, because I feel exactly the same as you, you fool." you said quietly.

"I am a fool, a fool for you." he replied and kissed you again.

When you broke away from each other, this time hugging, you finished watching the sunset, which now seemed much more beautiful.

"It's gonna be hard…" he said after a moment of silence.

"Love isn't easy" you said. "b"But it's definitely worth it."

"How are we going to deal with all this?"

"We will find a solution, we always do."

"You think so?"

"Channie…" you took his hand, brought it to your lips and gently kissed the top of it. "I don't want to suddenly become your whole world, you won't be mine either, we both have separate lives, but love is not about the other person suddenly becoming the only thing we see. Love is about understanding that we both have separate worlds but we also have the desire to merge them. Love is finding a common path together."

"You are walkig hope, you know this?"

"Love is not fate, it is a choice. And that's what makes it powerful." You added again kissing his hand.

"You are my choice." he replied kissing your forehead.

No matter how crazy the collision of these worlds will be, he believed that as long as you are together everything will work out.

[ell-alexanderarnold]

Late again

Summary: To work at AXA training centre has its advantages when you get to work with your boyfriend, but what happens when people starts noticing what's happening behind the scenes?

Angst & Fluff

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You and Trent try not to take your relationship with you to work, but sometimes it just doesn’t work. Not too many of his teammates knows you’re together, but today everyone in the building will notice. You just don’t know it yet.

“I don’t understand why you’re lying to me” Trent said, as you changed into your branded Liverpool clothes.

“Oh my days, you have some serious trust issues Trent” You answered.

“Oh and you have not?” He responded and started to get ready to leave.

“I was literally at the gym! And you know that so I don’t get why we’re having this discussion” You defended as Trent walked down the stairs and you trailed after him.

“Whatever, you can say what you want. We’re leaving” He ended and closed the door.

You tried not to break down in tears, but you were so tired of hearing Trent’s overthinking get the best of him. It’s always been like that, he’s been insecure about you meeting other guys when you’re out or at the gym.

You walked outside and got into the car, and you could see that Trent was still frustrated.

“Trent, you can trust me” You spoke up after a few minutes of silence. He hummed in response, but he was still upset.

“Trent?” You repeated and he sighed.

“Please Y/n just be quiet because everything you’re saying right now is bullshit” Trent snapped, you couldn’t believe what you just heard. You laughed at the same time as tears were escaping your eyes.

“What’s so funny?” He scoffed and you rolled your eyes.

“You’re not thinking straight, that what’s funny” You argued and Trent looked at his watch, noticing that the two of you were late to the morning meeting.

“Fuck, we’re late” He huffed and you panicked, it’s not the first time you two are late. The reason mainly is because of your fighting all the time, which is sadly becoming into a routine. You two always work out at the end of the day and you don’t know how you and Trent manage to do it. It’s not that it’s an toxic relationship between the two of you, it’s just you have two different minds with different thoughts and emotions.

Eventually you arrived and got into the building as fast as you could.

“Don’t make a mess in front of everyone” Trent said quietly, as you were walking down the corridor towards the briefing room.

“I won’t” You blustered and as you got closer to the room you could hear the players cheering “Ooooooh” and when you and Trent walked in they all laughed.

“Look at her eyes, they’ve been fighting again her and Trent” Dominik pointed out and looked at Curtis who sat next to him.

You forced a smile to all the players and went to sat down at the front of the room with all the other staff.

You were pretty sure that everyone heard you arguing in the corridor, and you tried to forget about it all. After the meeting the players went to get breakfast and you did some paperwork. As you were in the office you heard a knock at the door and the person who entered the room was Klopp. You took a deep breath and feared the worst, is he going to fire you?

“Hi Y/n, can I have a word?” He said and sat down.

“Yeah of course gaffer” You smiled and put your work aside.

“How’s Trent?” He began.

“I know you two are pretty close, just wanted to check” Klopp continued as you started to figure out what you were going to answer.

“He’s a little bit stressed, that’s all” You explained and he nodded.

“And you?” Klopp asked as you knew probably all the people in the room before saw you teary eyed.

“I’m alright, tough morning today” You responded with honesty.

“You and Mr Alexander-Arnold need to learn the clock better!” Klopp laughed and you laughed with him because it was accurate.

-

Trent POV

Trent couldn’t deny his guilt for treating you like he has lately. All Dominik heard from Trent the entire training session was how he felt about the fight you two had.

“I think you should apologise bro” Dominik said to Trent in the dressing room.

“I will, see you tomorrow” Trent told him and left the dressing room.

-

You saw Trent walking towards you and figured that it’s time to go home. You walked beside each other, you didn’t say a word to him. But your hand were entwined with his as you walked to his car. He stopped you before you entered the car and met your tired eyes.

“Y/n listen, I know like you said I’ve not been thinking straight. It’s just that I’m afraid to lose you, maybe that’s a bad excuse but it’s how I feel” Trent expressed, and it really sounded like it was coming from his heart. But if he continues to act like he does in fights, perhaps he’ll lose you in the end.

You gave kissed his lips, as he wrapped his arms around you.

“I’m sorry, I love you so” He said and nuzzled his head into your neck.

“It’s okay T” You comforted and rubbed his back.

“Trent, I think there’s someone watching us” You whispered and Trent lifted his head up to see that it was Dominik smiling at the both of you.

“Get a room!” Dominik said and you both laughed.

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Thanks for reading! 💕

[johnnysuhbmarine]

Just Add Alcohol...you know, the Antiseptic Kind

Pairing: Jeno x reader Description: After getting into another fist fight, best friend!Jeno ends up back at your place for help, but you’re about at your limit of how much you can stand to see him like this before saying something about it. The only problem is, you still haven’t found a way to address it without bringing up your feelings.  Word count: 1,508 A/n: first fic :') wrote this sometime last year and I think it's the best out of my completed one shots, so now I'm sharing it with the world (that's you). shout out to @fullsunstrawberry for convincing me I wouldn’t die if I actually posted my writing <3333 please enjoy, or don’t…I can’t tell you what to do, but feedback would be GREATLY appreciated :) 

You squeeze the excess water out of the rag before stomping back over to where Jeno laid on the couch. Your heavy, rhythmic breath is the only sound to fill the tense silence between the two of you as you press the towel up towards his eyebrow, covering a freshly split-open patch of skin. The action provokes the usual wince in pain from Jeno, but you don’t say ‘sorry’ this time, instead just clenching your jaw.

It was routine at this point. Jeno would knock on your door barely able to hold himself up, you would help him to the couch, or on days where he was particularly bloody, you’d have him sit on your bathroom counter and just pray he even had the strength to make it all the way there. Then, you’d get to work on cleaning him up, because you always clean him up, from his fights on the playground in primary school to now, when some kind of fate lets the two of you reconnect after you moved away before high school only to end up at the same college. It was two years ago when you immediately recognized the crescent-eyed smile of the boy sitting at a table you passed on your walk to class. You froze in the middle of the science building, sure you were crazy, but it only took a second before he came up and grabbed your wrist to spin you around. “I knew that was you.” He stated in relief as he pulled you into a hug that you fell right into, just as you always had. Your best friend status seemed to stick through all those years apart, as had his fighting tendencies. Though now, instead of pressing band-aids over boo-boos, you were disinfecting deep, bloody cuts, and wrapping gauze around his rough hands, misshapen by the amount of fingers he had broken that he never gave time to properly heal. 

You never reprimanded him. You didn’t need to. He knew that seeing him in this state was hurting you. Though you never said so, it was always evident by the look on your face that you couldn’t be bothered to cover up. What he didn’t know was that you were only on the med-school track because, since kindergarten, you had wanted to be a doctor so you knew how to take better care of him when he got himself injured. 

“You’re mad at me.” His gentle voice, the one he spoke with only when he was talking to you, cuts through the silence and brings you back to the present. You take a second to think about how to respond as you move onto his next wound.

“Why do you get into fights?” You ask, no real emotion behind your words outside of genuine curiosity. Jeno shakes his head, wincing as he quickly realizes that the motion was too rough for him right now.

“No reason.” He replies calmly, and you look up to meet his eyes as you press your towel against the cut by his lips.

“No reason? You do all this for no reason?” You spit back, unable to keep your even tone anymore. Jeno rolls his head to the side, dodging eye contact with you as he replies.

“I knew you were mad.” He says, almost absentmindedly.

You take a sharp inhale of breath, annoyed beyond measure, finally breaking.

“Of course I’m mad! I can’t leave you alone for one second without you hurting yourself!” This time, when Jeno winces, it’s not because of the antiseptic or pressure, it’s your tone, one he was so unfamiliar with when it came to you. All he thinks to do is roll his eyes in response.

“I mean, I always end up fine so it’s okay-”

“No!” You yell, cutting him off as you throw the cloth haphazardly at his figure, getting him to move his gaze back over to you in confusion as he picks up the towel and presses it against his wounds in your place. You just look at him, eyes scanning his entire bloodied up figure on the couch, tears threatening to spill for the first time ever in front of him. “No, it’s not okay. Not when I go crazy with worry wondering when the next time will be that you end up on this couch for me to fix. Do you get it? Do you get how scary it is for me to see my best friend beat up like this?!”

“I mean, the other guy always looks worse…” He states, the tiniest laugh accompanying his words, enraging you even more.

“You’re unbelievable!”

He furrows his eyebrows as much as he can before it strains against his cuts. “Me? You’re the one all worried for no reason-”

“I love you! Is that reason enough?!” You yell, standing up and walking towards the kitchen in your best attempt to get away from him. 

“Oh, God.” He says softly from the couch, and that’s all it takes for tears to start their race down your cheeks.

“‘Oh, God.’” You mock, shaking your head in defeat. “Great. Great. You can keep that towel, but please get off my couch and go somewhere else. Preferably, to a doctor. The rib that I keep telling you I’m worried about every time I see you, it feels broken now.” 

There’s a beat of suffocating silence before he speaks up again. “Y/n…” He says, just as gently as before, though you take none of it.

“Just go!” You shout across to the living room. You hear him let out a heavy exhale before responding.

“First, it’s hard to move because I apparently broke a rib, so if you want me to go, you’re going to have to help me up and out of the door. Second, the reason I got into the first fight on the playground in kindergarten was because that kid, Seongho, made fun of your hair bow.” You render still, staring down at your hands splayed out on the kitchen counter. You don’t know if you can form any response, you’re hardly sure if you’re breathing. Thankfully, Jeno fills the silence himself. “I said ‘oh, God’ because I realized I should’ve just told you that when you first asked. That I get into fights because some part of me has always needed to protect you. That the fights I seek out are against people who eye you like creeps. Yeah, I get into other stupid fights because people wanna punch me so goddamn bad for some reason and I don’t know how to back down, but the ones I start are just so I can keep you safe and gentle in this stupid, hurtful world.” 

Time seemed to stand still. You couldn’t wrap your head around his words. They seemed too unreal coming out of his mouth, but he spoke so surely. In the consequential stark silence, you hear him groan in pain, finally getting you to move as you rush over to him on the couch, extremely scared he was actually trying to get up and leave now, which he really was in no position to do by himself. However, when you get over to him, he hasn’t moved an inch. Instead, a soft smile covers his face as confusion crosses yours.

“I just did that to get you to come over to where I can see you again.” He admits, and you deadpan before you can finally find humor, shaking your head with a small laugh as tears continue to run down your face. Then, he finally does move, reaching a hand up to caress your cheek as his other still holds the damp cloth to his cuts. “I love you, y/n.” He says gently, making sure you were holding eye contact with him as he did so. You use a hand to wipe the remaining tears off your face before leaning in to kiss him softly. 

When you pull away, Jeno moves his head up to chase your lips as much as he can without hurting himself, pouting when you take a step back and shake your head. “You can kiss me all you want later. I have to get you to an actual doctor before your fractured rib punctures your lung and you die.” You state plainly, reaching an arm under him to help him off the couch as the two of you hobble towards the door. 

“I got so lucky…you’re incredibly romantic.” He replies sarcastically, and you just turn your head to look up at him with a raised eyebrow.

“I don’t know why you’re teasing me. I don’t want you to die. That’s very romantic.” You respond with a smile, opening your door to get out into the dorm hallway. Jeno smiles lightly, kissing the top of your head as the two of you wait on an elevator. Then, all you can do is hold his hand as the doctor calls Jeno stupid for getting into fights (you slipped him a $5 for that one). 

[exactlymaximumgarden]

what i did for love (jschlatt x reader fic)

chapter 2: new guy

summary: after endless chatter about the so-called "new guy," you finally have a less than ideal run-in with him. word count: ≈2.0k warnings: fem!reader, use of (y/n), kinda angsty later on a/n: hi chat. this chapter is kinda tea so i hope you like it lol song: again and again - the bird and the bee

You never thought you’d be more grateful for a lunch break in your life. The cast had been dismissed for an hour just after running the emotional monologue from the character Paul, which promptly followed your solo dance number. Teching your routine wasn’t too much of a hassle, but the actual choreography was beyond grueling. You were more than ready for a breather.

Surprisingly, Schlatt, during the run, wasn’t a bother at all. You could’ve sworn you caught him glancing at you from the wings at certain points, and you couldn’t say for sure whether or not he had seen any of your solo at all, but during the monologue afterward in which everyone in the cast was offstage save for your castmate Mateo, Schlatt was nowhere to be found. 

Not that you had a problem with that, anyway. Hell, you didn’t care what all he fucked off to do as long as you didn’t have to be there for any of it.

Now, you could only do your best to rid your mind of all thoughts related to him as you sat in your dressing room, which you shared with Victoria and two other castmates, Sierra and Lola. Aside from your already established bond with Victoria, you’d taken it upon yourself to build a closer friendship with Sierra and Lola since they played the characters Maggie and Bebe respectively, so naturally you would have to stand near them in the chorus line formation. That was also partially the reason the four of you had been grouped together to share a dressing room, so it was only beneficial for you to have a good rep with both.

The four of you were plopped in a circle on the dressing room floor, accompanied by your other castmates Ari, Mateo, and Dante. All seven of you picked at your lunches, more interested in the conversation at hand than actually eating. However, the topic quickly shifted to the oh so mysterious new guy, and as much as you wanted to shut your brain off than have to listen to speculations about Schlatt, you were also insanely hungry. So, you simply forced yourself to sit there and listen.

That was just like Schlatt, you couldn’t help but think sourly. Always the center of attention, even when he wasn’t in the room.

“Has anyone actually gotten a chance to talk to him yet?” Lola asked, her amber eyes twinkling with curiosity as she scanned the group. 

“I accidentally bumped into him after we teched my scene,” Mateo piped up. “He was pretty nice. Apologized to me and all. Even though it was totally my fault.”

“Can I say he’s kinda hot?” Sierra was next to chime in, her silvery voice quickly filling the silence. A quiet laugh promptly rippled through the group, although it took a bit of willpower on your behalf to keep your own from sounding too forced. “Like, respectfully? I’d smash.”

���You’d smash anything that breathes.” Ari, seated behind her on the dressing room counter, nudged her teasingly with his leg.

“Hey, can you blame me? I’ve tried every dating app there is. I’m debating whipping out the last resort any day now.”

“eHarmony?”

“No. Becoming a nun.”

“Okay, but do we know why they brought in someone new so late in the process?” Victoria interrupts. “What happened to the old stagehand? What’s-his-face?”

“Who cares what his name was? He got fired, and good thing.” This heated answer was spat from Dante, who had been cast in the show as the lively tap-dancer Mike. His heavy Brooklyn accent was interwoven through every syllable as he continued, “He was a fuckin’ idiot, not to mention a total dick. Always actin’ like he knew everything, being a shit to Vanja and all. I’m surprised she didn’t kick his ass out sooner. But I heard they put out an open call for someone to fill in for ‘im. Anyone with at least basic knowledge of allat computery shit. I guess that’s how they roped the new guy in. Shat, or whatever he’s called.”

Of course. He made perfect sense for the job. He’d wanted to go into computer science before he’d gone down the rabbit hole of his own career. “Schlatt.” You couldn’t keep the correction from spilling from your lips. You weren’t all too thrilled to discover the way his name still tasted like acid on your tongue.

“Yeah. That.”

“Well, at least he seems nice.” Victoria shrugged. “Upgrade from the last dude.”

“Nice and sexy!” Sierra giggled, earning another nudge from Ari.

Despite yourself, you opened your mouth. You had the insatiable urge to say something, maybe a cryptic, biting remark directed towards Schlatt. Something about how nobody here knew what he was really like, how he was the furthest thing from nice, how he’d ruined everything. However, you were promptly interrupted by a knock on the dressing room door.

“Hello?” Lola called out, craning her neck to snag a better view of the visitor.

The door creaked open, and Lacey poked her head in. Lacey was a petite, curvy girl, her hair tied up in pigtails and extravagant eyeshadow powdered against her lids. She’d been cast as Val, so she figured going over the top in her stage look would fit the character. Nobody had the heart to tell her she looked clownish.

“Just wanted to tell you guys we have five minutes until we’re back,” she explained in her typical squeaky tone, a toothy grin spreading across her lips. “Vanja’s giving us a bit of extra time to get settled, though. She just finished introducing herself to Jay.”

For whatever reason, Lacey first-naming Schlatt created a strange feeling in the pit of your stomach. Nobody ever did that. Not in his circle, anyway. But you couldn’t necessarily fault her for that. She didn’t come from his circle. That was a you problem.

“Thanks, Lacey.” You quickly hopped to your feet, stashing what was left of your lunch back with your belongings. “I’m gonna go to the restroom real quick. Will someone let Vanja know in case I’m not back in time?”

“I got it,” Victoria instantly volunteered, to which you shot her a grateful smile.

“Go piss, girl!” Ari murmured, resulting in a collective snort among the group. He elicited a grin from you, too, but you’re already out the door by the time you clocked it.

___

Wandering through the twisting hallways of the backstage area reminded you of yet another thing you’d never get used to regardless of how long you’d been performing. It never seemed to fully register that the older the theatre, the more historic the building, the dingier the backstage was. And right now, you might as well have been traversing a maze.

All this for a piss.

You couldn’t tell how long it took you to actually locate the bathrooms within the labyrinthine hallways, and you could only imagine that, with your luck, it’d be even longer before you found your way back to the stage. And of course that proved to be true. Before you knew it, you were lost. It wasn’t your fault, you kept telling yourself. This is why you exclusively used the restrooms out in the theatre’s foyer. At least those were easy to find.

“Whoa!”

You were instantly snapped out of your daze as you collided with someone’s larger frame. You stumbled backward from the impact, but whoever you ran into quickly clamped their hands around your biceps to keep you from completely falling on your ass.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry, I-” Your vision refocused, your voice instantly trailing off as you gazed upward at the person before you. Schlatt’s eyes bore into yours, hints of both concern and amusement evident in his gaze. Suddenly, the grip on your arms turned from something relieving to much more revolting.

The corners of his lips tilted upward in the faintest of smiles as he let go of you, stepping back. You could feel his gaze raking over you, taking you in. “Hey, stranger,” he greeted, leaning against the wall beside him.

You wanted to walk away, turn your back on him this instant. But you couldn’t. You felt paralyzed. Rooted to the spot.

“Hi,” you muttered in return.

“How’s it goin’? Been a while, huh?”

“Yep.” No shit, it’s been a while. I never wanted to see you again. “I’ve been fine. Been busy with the show and all.”

“I can imagine. Seems like a lotta work already.”

“It’s Broadway. Of course it is.” Your tone came out a bit more biting than intended. Schlatt quickly seemed to catch on, his brow quirking up in a slight smirk.

“You’re right. Stupid thing of me to say.” He held up his hands in mock surrender. You huffed out a scoff, but it was clearly forced. “Well, uh, hey,” Schlatt tried once more after an awkward silence ensued. “I saw you dance a little bit. From the wings. You did… good.”

“Good, huh?” You folded your arms across your chest, a bit exasperated with how the conversation was going nowhere.

“Yeah. You did good,” he repeated, his eyes still glued to you. It was growing increasingly hard not to shudder under his stare, feeling like prey beneath him. Your stomach churned, and you could practically hear your heart’s frenzied beating within your eardrum. For a moment, he fell quiet once more, and you swore you saw his expression falter. Whatever air of confidence was there before seemed to melt, devolving into something softer, something unreadable… disappointment, maybe? Regret? “You look good, (Y/N).”

It felt like the world stopped at that. You had to fight every fiber within you that wanted to bark out an incredulous laugh. “Really?” you instead asked, bewilderment of his utter audacity clear in your voice. “Is this a joke?”

Schlatt instantly straightened, no longer leaning on the wall. An air of defensiveness flickered over him. “What? Can I not say you look good?”

“Are you actually asking me that?” It shouldn’t have been so easy for him to rile you up, get under your skin.

Schlatt’s lips flattened into a straight line as he heaved a heavy sigh. “(Y/N), come on. Listen, I know these aren’t ideal conditions, but-”

“Like hell they aren’t!” You ran a hand through your hair, feeling like you might as well have been on the brink of tearing every single strand out. “Just stop. Not now. Don’t do this to me.”

“Why not now? Look, we gotta talk at some point.”

“There isn’t anything to talk about. You made things very clear when you decided you were done with me,” you spat. Schlatt opened his mouth to protest, but you quickly interrupted. “Can you please just do me a solid and point me back to the stage? I’ve got more important things to focus on right now than this.”

He stopped dead in his tracks. His usually soft expression was icy, and it was evident by the way his eyes flitted all across your face that he was seriously debating what to do next. However, to your relief, he jerked his head over his shoulder. “Straight ahead behind me. Take a left, up the stairs, take a right. You'll find your way.”

You didn’t wait to say anything more. No sooner did the words escape his lips than you practically bolted past him, reciting the directives he’d given you over and over to occupy your mind. To anyone else in the cast, your exchange with Schlatt would have seemed entirely random. Up until this moment, you two hadn’t interacted once. How could it have bubbled up to this so quickly?

That was something only you and Schlatt knew. The history between you two. And yet, knowing that history like the back of each other’s hands, he still wanted to act like things were normal. He still wanted to try and pass off as if nothing happened. As if everything was fine. Tearing your heart and stomping on it, over and over and over again.

Furiously wiping your eyes as your feet pattered up the staircase he’d guided you to, you couldn’t help but ponder. He was so clearly over everything. Over it enough to feel confident enough to act all casual, anyway.

So why the hell couldn’t you be?

prev chapter, next chapter

[eldritch-spouse]

Belo my lovely silkie chicken I just wanna collect his fur and make a nice cozy sweater with it 💕

also I was going through your world building post and one thing I noticed is that Saiders are very heavy with punishments: humans who practiced magic without their say so, angels who had big disagreements, etc would all get severe punishments what would that look like?

[Belo sweater would be the most comfortable thing you've ever worn in a while and probably help when you're going through health/mood lows.]

Siadar are extremely heavy with punishment, regardless of who or what that punishment is targeted towards. They're harsh with angels, they're harsh with humanity, they're harsh with their own kind and they continue to be harsh elsewhere, to their newer projects.

The top of their hierarchy will find a million and one ways to justify the intensity of their punitive force, so it's not as if the siadar themselves see their actions as cruel. Neither do angels, as beings with very defined purposes instilled into them since birth (and no real biological or psychological reason to break them). In fact, humanity itself, devoid of any moral compass created by its own species, absorbed the moral compass of siadars for practically the entire duration there was interlevel contact. So many humans understood and accepted the punishments they saw happen or were subjected to as normal.

Now, humanity isn't very magically inclined by default. The species was designed to have less "magnetism" to that type or energy, to reject it, so the humans that are out there practicing it in that period of time are already deviants in some form or another. This means we're probably talking about a collection of "infractions" already committed by the humans in question. Death is a very likely outcome here. Or, at the very least, the removal of reproductive abilities, so that this particular human -If they happen to biologically be more attuned to magic than they should be- Cannot spread that ability to any descendants.

The sight of a particularly magically talented human is reason enough for siadar authorities to investigate other highers in charge of monitoring human populations, in the effort of judging whether or not a human was directly tampered with in forbidden ways.

Angels are a very organized species, to say the least. Out of most non-humans out there, these would be the individuals that are least likely to ever question their place in life, to ponder on concepts bigger than their routines and duties, or even seriously entertain intrusive thoughts. They're a lot more likely to report their own perceived defective symptoms to assigned siadars than they are to attempt to act on them. It's worth noting that angels also monitor each other, especially the ones of Worshipper rank, and will easily report suspicious behavior. They aren't malicious in this evaluation, but they're unwilling to cover up serious situations.

Big disagreements between angels, although rare (until the time Betrayer seeded doubt into the minds of some celestials), aren't very likely to escalate into angel-on-angel physical violence. In spite of any bubbling emotion, they're still practically hardwired to respect rank differences and have internalized that harming another angel is harming their kind altogether. These disagreements can entirely halt the productivity of many tasks if the celestials involved have equal standing in terms of authority. In these instances, both will eventually request the opinion of the nearest unoccupied siadar.

Angels are a self-punitive species as well. They'll perceive their failures -Even if not directly their fault- as punishment worthy and will inflict wounds on themselves or deprive themselves of participation on anything until they are "forgiven" by their highers. Celestials can and will die simply from feeling that they are consistently failing, becoming lethargic and weak until they simply perish.