#like mentally im still there
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remember the day twp titles were released? yeah take me back
#dec 5 u will always be remembered#like mentally im still there#in my room with tears in my eyes bc actually what the hell#can't believe we finally have the titles after so so long#like i vividly remember calling the books twp 1 twp 2 and twp 3 and now it's been over 6 months that we know the titles :((((#and that was also the time when i started writing my silly little posts on here bc before i barely used tumblr at all#like HALF A YEAR???#HOW???#cassandra clare#the wicked powers#the last king of faerie#the last prince of hell#the last shadowhunter#twp#tlkof#tlpoh#tls#tsc
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can't even cat nap in peace 😾
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more windbreaker comics
#poor sakura couldnt even KO for 10 minutes before everyone started prodding and jabbing him like damn#EVERYONE LOVES HARUKA SAKURA SUPREMECY!!!!!#wind breaker spoilers#wind breaker 149#haruka sakura#and...gang... my energy lvls are too low im not tagging everyone closes eyes#wind breaker#wind breaker comics#comics#thecmart#cant believe its been two weeks since i made a post ashdfkj my dissociation is getting the best of me smh#dw i still have wb brainrot endou in those last two chapters was just FUELLING it hes a riot man what a guy#cant believe he really woke up and did the draw me like one of ur french girls poses this guy is so unserious#ILL BE BACK WITH MORE NONSENSE SOON... eventually.... i just gotta get my mental health in check like PHEW this noggin be foggin
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today i love the red metal crane in her long neck arching her body over the boston skyline, which means i am okay for a moment. when i am unwell, everything is a little ugly. i always tell myself look for the beauty but when it is bad, i will look at birds and sunsets and little ducklings and feel absolutely nothing.
when my brother got his puppy, i was in a deep depression. what kind of monster isn't affected by a puppy. i was gentle and kind to her - i just didn't have an emotional reaction. she's five now and i feel like i spend all of our interactions apologizing to her - i don't know why. i just didn't feel anything. how embarrassing. i feel like if i admit that, i'll seem cruel and jaded. it comes in waves. like, two months ago when i went out into the world - it was like that. life behind a pane of stormglass. a firework could go off over your head - nothing. like dead skin, no reaction. not to ice cream or rainbows or baby chickens. life foggy and uninteresting.
i love goslings again. i love their little webbed feet splayed over grass. i love good food and live music and long walks. i like puppies. i feel like some kind of my soul has been starved - i keep staring at everything with wide eyes, trying to burrow the sensation into my stomach. it's real. beauty is real. when it's bad again, remember this. i stop and smell the flowers, feeling cliche in the moment. i like the white-to-red ombre of my neighbor's roses. i like colorcoding and yoga and cold drinks. i try to pass my hands over every moment, feeling like i'm squeezing joy out of every instant. remember this. for the love of god, it's real - just remember this.
#and yet i NEVER DO REMEMBER IT#spilled ink#writeblr#i feel like due to tiktok ppl think >#deeply depressed & not having an emotional reaction to things MUST mean#you are cruel or uncaring#like girlie that is STILL a lack of mental illness awareness. it doesn't make us mean#it just means im like. ohhhh im not well. i don't really react to puppies. that's bad#Im still gonna be super nice to the puppy. like it just doesn't bring me joy.#bc the problem i have is CLINICAL. the dopamine ISNT being made.#but PLENTY of us are still kind#considerate.#GENTLE people. even if we're like '..........' all the time.#i actually think this is why i'm harsh on people who are so mean - you don't need to be emotionally attached to someone/thing#in order to be kind.... you just choose to be kind bc it's the right thing to do#not bc it's easy....... like it's extra effort sure. but it's worth it. bc ppl deserve kindness.#it's hard to describe this bc it's the ugly side of depression. the part that's like#not in netflix - the part where it's like ''i love this person. i just don't feel anything''
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please can we stop describing bigots as delusional. please. im so fucking tired. someone being sucked into a hate group surrounded by others who believe minorities should be oppressed and encouraging them to believe in conspiracy theories that the rest of the group believes, is fundamentally different from someone having a mental illness that causes delusions.
delusions, by definition, cannot be explained by things like cultural background - such as having a belief constantly reinforced by intentional attempts to rationalize it for the sake of maintaining power over minorities. yes, someone can be both delusional and a bigot, and yes conspiracy theories can feed into delusions, but the two are not fucking synonymous.
i did not spend my teen years convinced that i was being stalked by demons just to hear so many of you people equate my disability with incel behavior and genocidal propaganda. stop reinforcing harmful connotations about mental health struggles.
#ok to rb#mental health advocate#mental health advocacy#mental health awareness#ableism cw#sanism cw#madpunk#neuropunk#actually delusional#actually schizospec#im not gonna interact with the post that prompted this#because i do agree with everything that was said and dont want to sound like im defending the assholes discussed#but i also am still fucking pissed about seeing a bunch of misogynistic jackasses compared to a disability#which has caused me immense fear and suffering#and guess what! my delusions were never ''women shouldnt have rights'' or whatever else#bc thats not a delusion thats a tool of the partriarchy to maintain the status quo#genocide cw#to be safe
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painting test with a limited color palette
here's the moon equivalent!
#my art#daycare attendant#dca fandom#hm... no character tags. guess!#really put off posting this since i had no clue what to write for the image id... but it turned out to be fairly easy. sorry if its bad tho#i've been having a falling out with this series recently#its hard for me to like it these days. like theres still a lingering bit of affection for it#but i cant help but wonder if its time to move on from it. hm#i know im probably talking about it in a weird way but... its always been mentally distressing to leave my interests behind!!#sigh.. i know this blog is fairly ''big'' but idk if i'd be missing out on much by leaving. considering how isolated i am from the communit#and also how much i tend to dislike the majority of the community too. hm#eh who knows... we'll see
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[ID in alt text, transcripts for comics also found there!]
🎉🎇HAPPY NEW YEAR!🎇🎉
Sure was a year...This is just me taking the end of year opportunity to post the various DC comics doodles that have been gathering dust in my files! Disclaimer that I'm a heathen who mostly reads batfam comics (and also a lot of. Sidekick-y stuff? Like YJ98) and these are all for fun! (Image #3 is a direct adaptation of this text post I made)
#dc comics#dc#cassandra cain#damian wayne#roy harper#lian harper#cassie sandsmark#maya ducard#flatline dc#kathy branden#...im hesitant to tag steph bc i feel like everytime i tag her the post refuses to show in her tag#stephanie brown#anyway yeah uhhh recently bought the yj98 omnibus (IT'S FUCKING HUGE) so that's why cassie redesign#years and years ago i posted a draft of a cassie redesign that's like. similar to what i have but i vastly prefer this version#OH!#i forgot to tag stephcass :(#whoopsie#but yeah i did a lot of steph reading this year (STILL SO MUCH TO DO) and ouughh boy. she's had her claws in my brain ever since#damian and dick are there. nough said#<- I'm extremely mentally ill about them there's just still a lot for me to read. i have nightwing rebirth with them! and some early b&r 09#also robin 2021 issue. 4? i wanna say? the one where dick gives damian his bday present. makes me cry like a pressure washer#also I'm so sorry if I've somehow managed to (in my extremely limited presentation of them) present roy and lian as ooc in anyway#I've only read arsenal 1998 bc it was a mini. hit or miss but it did imprint a love of roy and lian on me#I'm only semi following the current green arrow run rn mostly for those 2#(also sidenote the guy who writes current GA is ALSO writing B&R AND SUPERMAN??? AND A G.I JOE COMIC????-#-girl say what you want about his work it's a miracle any of it is comprehensible at all w/ all those titles going on)#(he said he's not sure how long he'll stay on GA tho. I'm also low-key not sure how long he'll stay on B&R-#-though i imagine it'll be at least a years worth bc he said that's how much notes he has for plot? also idk if many other writers at dc-#-are interested in damian rn especially next to Bruce)#HOO this got away from me I'm outta tags. uhhhh see u guys in 2014! woo!
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oh noooo or whatever
bonus aka The Real Motive Behind This:
SURPRISE double bonus. textless ver of the first pic under the cut
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#professor x#magneto#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#erik magnus lehnsherr#max eisenhardt#snap sketches#guys i drew cherik after walking to the comic shop to see official cherik omg .....#context if needed: in like. issue 17-18 of the og run magneto hijacks the x mansion and sets up The Mental Wave Distorter trap#and unfortunately the second i saw it i knew what i had to do because I Cannot Be Salvaged#tbh this was suppoesd to be moooorrreee 2011 Yaoi Doujin Core but clakjkl i like it like this way i fear#i was gonna put dialogue bubbles for the first pic but like that a lot. even tho i did post a textless ver Bro My Head Hurts#this was also supposed to be quick and thats why its in a limbo of Effort Was Made and I Held Back#because after the sketch i realized i wanted to lock in. sort of 💀 still like it tho !!!!!!#more importantly dont take me to comic shops all ima do is think of ship art to make later !!!!!#on that note tho i did have a silly giggle to myself when i saw the resurrection of magneto#like it was the silliest reaction i felt like a dog jlvkjavlka#i also found another magneto-centered run im excited bout ...... both sets were missing One book so im gonna scream but moving on#uhhhh ok im done here. my heads been hurting all day i hope its nothing serious#whats funny is that i actually planned to draw movie cherik today but alas. plans were changed#theres always tomorrow !!!!!!!!! i love you tomorrow .....#bye bye im going to bed
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my martha knight au in a nutshell:
Danny/Martha: see up here?
Danny/Martha: *taps skull*
Danny/Martha: intense psychological damage
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Danny/Martha: *upon finding out she's pregnant*
Danny/Martha: oh my god i cant be a mom, I'm fifteen and homeless--
Danny/Martha: im going to be a terrible mother--
Danny/Martha: i live in a cAR--
Danny/Martha: what if the baby inherits my powers? Oh no--
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Danny/Martha post giving birth: i've only had Bruce for a minute and a half but if anything were to happen to him i won't even need to fuse with Vlad, I'm razing this goddamn planet to the ground myself
Danny, to Baby Bruce: you are the last remaining thread of my sanity. I'm going to give you the world :)
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Danny/Martha prior to getting pregnant: Fuck it, if everything in my life has led to this moment, i'm allowed to make one stupid decision. I'm getting drunk and getting laid
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Danny/Martha while Bruce was a toddler: i swear to fucking god i am going to kill the next person who talks to me--
Bruce: hi mommy!! i brought you something!!!
Danny/Martha, immediately flipping on a dime: hi baby!! what do you have?
Bruce, a weird child like his mother: a spider :)
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Danny/Martha, talking to Falcone after he made an unsavory comment at her and Bruce: If you ever come near me or my son again, I will dig up your shithead father's corpse and make you eat his skin.
Danny/Martha: do you understand me
Falcone:... crystal, ma'am
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Danny/Martha new in Gotham: *getting mugged*
Danny/Martha: *grabs man's arm*
Danny/Martha: I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU IN HALF LIKE A TWIG, FUCK BOY, DO YOU HEAR THE WORDS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH--
(she then proceeds to terrorize Gotham's night life for the next extended period of time, mostly unintentionally)
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Danny/Martha: Danny Fenton?? No. you must be mistaken, my name is Martha Knight.
Danny/Martha: this here is my littlest knight, Bruce.
Danny/Martha: I made him all by myself :]
#if martha could become the joker in one timeline if bruce died then she had to have SOMETHIGN going on up there mentally. im all for it#im a 'martha wayne may have been secretly batshit' truther. subscribing to bruciemilf's portrayal of the wayne parents#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc#fem danny fenton#female danny fenton#martha knight au#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpxdc au#dp x dc au#dp x dc#giving danny fenton psychological issues since 2022 folks#points at marthadanny: she's a hot mess with unprocessed trauma and psychological prblems. she's hanging on by a thread#LISTEN TO AFTER ALL BY CHRISTINE EBERSOLE THAT SUMS UP MARTHADANNY ENTIRELY#bruce your mom is even crazier than you. how is that possible. her trauma has trauma.#marthadanny: i dont wanna talk about my feelings OR my trauma i want to raise my son. go away#martha: who knew that being a child hero without any support would result in deeply rooted psychological issues and paranoia in spades#marthadanny: im fine (<- experienced liar. is not fine. please god someone restrain her before she claws someone's eyes out)#she has eyebags the size of the savanna and wields red lipstick like a weapon. she's going to rob a rich man blind. she has a baby to feed#what would a mother not do for her child? what heights would a mother not climb.#and you're shaken to your soul with an ache that you cant erase. like the tears you never cried but still keep scrubbing off your face.#there's a pain you cant imagine. the little talk that keeps you wide awake that somehow turns to bold determination that you wont ever make#the same mistake. so you've got to feed your little future and ensure her talent poise and charm might just grow up and save you after all#fun fact bruce and danny's birthdays are exactly one week apart. danny is Feb.12 and Bruce is Feb.19. take that as you will :)
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i just wanna be protected and cared for like i'm a tiny kitty with abandonment issues
#actually bpd#actually mentally ill#bpd fp#bpd shitposting#actually borderline#bpd favorite person#bpd problems#bpd#bpd vent#bpd mood#i lost electricity for two days and my fp said i could stay with him and his sister.. i love him so much#tho i can’t fall asleep because it��s a new space#so i might go see if i can sleep in his room in like a half an hour if i’m still awake#because i always get anxious when im in new spaces that someone is gonna break in and id be the first victim
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IM FUCKING BACK BABYYYY!!!! [Read tags for a lil info!]
(Please accept this silly doodle dump of my brainrot boys uvu ✨)
#HI!! HIHI!!#posting now when its a little dead lol but#omg sorry for suddenly disappearing ive been seeing all your dms and asks#just had college finals and a mental breakdown so had to take a break off tumblr xD#BUT IM BACK AND HAVE SM TO POST#i was still drawing a lot lol#im gonna go on an ask answering spree tonight/later today so I'll try get to most of them#also tysm for 5k here :') so cool u guys like my silly little doodles#cant wait to be silly here again hehe 🤭#SENDING KISSES!!#rottmnt#rottmnt leo#rottmnt mikey#rottmnt raph#rottmnt donnie#jax#tadc jax#huskerdust#husk#angel dust#tribbleart#tribbletalks
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Silly guys goin' on silly adventures:]
@rorydrawsandwrites's puppeteer au but the only difference is that jax gives consent
My contribution to this wonderful au has been long overdue:')
Rambling in tags ehe (cw: ribbun:p)
Well maybe it's not the only difference
#I think in this version of the au possesion puts you into an almost dream-like state#Slipping into a sort of weird trance#Like physically you still have control of your body#But mentally you're mindlessly following orders from a disembodied voice#Kinda works like that imperius curse in harry potter (yes ik rowling sucks)#And jax soon figured out it was great for dissasociating😀#Escapism and heavily dependant on those possesion sessions to preserve his own mental stability:')#But *cue dramatic music🥁*#He eventually realises that it was not the possesion that brings him comfort and peace no more#But the presence and embrace of gangle that did<3💖💗💞#Jskhsskhj sorry that was so cheesy🧀#Well more or less its because he hadnt have human interaction in AWHILE it seems#Goose did confirm that it has been a long time since he last got a hug:(#*almost* made me feel bad there#Mkay enough rambling about this slight very minor variation of the story#I hope this whole thing was coherent to even be readable=]#Maybe ill even add emojis✨#tadc gangle#tadc jax#ribbun#the amazing digital circus#Tadc au#tadc fanart#tadc fandom#gangle x jax#jax x gangle#Let me have this guys#Let me indulge-#Her head is a tad bit too small yes IM AWARE#This is actually probably my fastest post to reach 100 notes wth (in like 7-8 hours)
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woag .. otp
#fma#royai#riza hawkeye#roy mustang#talking to user chrysopoeias reminded me of this doodle i posted on twitter ages ago#im too dumb to make analysis textposts with my opinions so you get (checks notes) royai experiencing post nut clarity#about how funny i think it is that riza bases all her self value into how useful she is or isn't being#while roy is like wow.. i love riza can't believe she still by my side after all i've done ..#in the hospital scene after the lust fight where roy is scolding her there's a part he says he's going to keep trusting her with his back#and she looks genuinely surprised as if she really expected him to just throw her out because she failed and lost her utility#when he's mostly angry because riza gave up on life so easily and he doesn't want her to die. he can't live in a world without her#riza babe ur so mentally ill <3
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love when men cry about body hair bc "it's hygiene" and yet 15% of cis men leave the bathroom without washing their hands at all and an additional 35% only just wet their hands without using soap. that is nearly half of all men. that means statistically you have probably shaken hands with or been in direct contact with one of these people.
love when men say that women "only want money" when it turns out that even in equal-earning homes, women are actually adding caregiver burdens and housework from previous years, whereas men have been expanding leisure time and hobbies. in equal-earning households, men spend an average of 3.5 hours extra in leisure time per week, which is 182 hours per year - a little over a week of paid vacation time that the other partner does not receive. kinda sounds like he wants her money.
love that men have decided women are frail and weak and annoying when we scream in surprise but it turns out it's actually women who are more reliable in an emergency because men need to be convinced to actually take action and respond to the threat. like, actually, for-real: men experience such a strong sense of pride about their pre-supposed abilities that it gets them and their families killed. they are so used to dismissing women that it literally kills them.
love it. told my father this and he said there's lies, damned lies, and statistics. a year ago i tried to get him to evacuate the house during a flash flood. he ignored me and got injured. he has told me, laughing, that he never washes his hands. he has said in the last week that women are just happier when we're cooking or cleaning.
maybe i'm overly nostalgic. but it didn't used to feel so fucking bleak. it used to feel like at least a little shameful to consider women to be sheep. it just feels like the earth is round and we are still having conversations about it being flat - except these conversations are about the most obvious forms of patriarchy. like, we know about this stuff. we've known since well before the 50's.
recently andrew tate tried to justify cheating on his partner as being the "male prerogative." i don't know what the prerogative for the rest of us would be. just sitting at home, watching the slow erosion of our humanity.
#writeblr#warm up#ps edited so it is more clear where “half” of men is coming from:#15% literally don't even touch water#an ADDITIONAL 35% ''wash'' by just running their hands under water WITHOUT SOAP#15+35 =50%#like that is not washing ur hands. go back and use soap#btw the numbers for women are 4% never washing and 15% ''just water''#which is still gross but like. sooo much better yikes#ps i know we're all gay on this site but watching ppl ''correct'' my math on this has been wild#i have a learning disability im genuinely bad at math so i check EVERY time someone corrects me#but no they're just confidently wrong.....#182 hours is a week babes. 182/24 (number of hours in a day) is ~7.6#that's where i got that number from. also from rent we know there's 168 hours in a week.#ALSO btw if u read this and ur response is ''men are also struggling rn tho'' like babe you missed the point of it tho#this doesn't even make fun of men it's legit just pointing out that bigotry against women isn't founded#in anything men actually CARE about . like they don't actually CARE about ''being clean'' when they make fun of armpit hair#or they would be WASHING THEIR HANDS.#men pretend to be rollin' in cash and Apex Predators and instead they are trained to be lazy and unwilling to act in emergencies#i have never and will never make fun of men for asking for more support on important topics like DV and mental health.#this is so clearly not about men; it's about how common just being plainly misogynistic has become.#like they don't try to hide it anymore.
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ANGELA BASSETT winner of the Emmy Award for Outstanding Narrator for "Queens".
#911 cast#911castedit#angela bassett#angelabassettedit#emmys 2024#gifs#mine#im mentally still here🥹#the genuine shock on her face like she doesnt how amazing she just is🤧#and deserves all the love and praise#you deserve everything queen
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Does scar give xelqua a season pass for scarland? Bc he should, kid xelqua should be able to go whenever he wants!
absolutely, xelqua loves going and its good when grian needs a babysitter, but its also bad bc xelqua doesn't want to Leave
#ask#note: this message is months old and my inbox is closed until i can catch up bc i have left all these for so long i feel bad ADJGKADJK#but i can never get to them normally they get buried so quickly. so. forcing it now.#kidxelqua#my art#goodtimeswithscar#also im still vastly overwhelmed and not feeling 100% emotionally or mentally.#i dont like worrying abt messages while dealing with irl stuff so i'll get to it on my own time.
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You know what? You know what I think?
I think that if we lived as we were meant to, in larger intimate ("extended family") groups and with more shared labor and time to do it (UBI NOW) people like me would not feel so useless and burdensome because there would be people around to help and to do what neurodivergent people can't while making valuable space for the neurodivergent to do what they ARE good at.
The way we live right now, all right, the way we live right now forces units of two adults to be able to do EVERYTHING or PAY to have someone come do it for them. I have to do the housework. I have to do it! But I am having to do a million different things and most of them I am not good at. I suck at them.
I wouldn't feel like shit, okay, if I had more than one other person around who was not a child and who could do the things I can't, like do the yard and cook and do repairs and basic maintenance; and someone else to split everything else that I like but is too much for me. It would free me to do what I am good at and enjoy. Cleaning, as in the sink and toilet, the windows, the blinds. Taking out trash. Folding, hanging, and sorting laundry.
But because all the shit I can do often relies on other shit being done first, and I can't do or have trouble doing those things, the shit I can do often can't be done. And even the shit I can do, I can't do ALL of it. So I can't keep up, and things get very bad.
We aren't meant to live like this. We are not meant to live like this.
That thought hurts so much because being able to flee the birth family is integral to survival for so many people. I'm so afraid that living in larger family groups would create more opportunities for, say, queer kids to be isolated, rejected, bullied, and abused. But if we gave people enough money to survive, and stopped considering children the property of their parents with no system in place to help them escape bad situations except a system that is often just as bad, just different.
I'm aware that communes and collectives aren't all that successful and are kind of a joke. I don't mean that. I mean a fundamental shift to multigenerational families where taking in "strays" (which my family did) is also normalized so people escaping abuse into existing households was accepted, with these families centered in maybe a couple of different larger residences so not everyone has to buy and maintain their own fucking washing machine and vacuum cleaner, and so people can benefit from large group meals that yield leftovers, and so child and elder care can also be centralized.
Then disabled people and the neurodivergent and sick and injured people, and pregnant people, and grieving people, would not have to either labor through all those stressors or consign themselves to living off an unlivable pittance or being put under legal guardianship.
I'm not saying anything new. People live like this in other parts of the world and maybe it sucks and I am wrong. But I'm just really mad right now because I can either do laundry or clean the sink but not both, and I really think we could improve society somewhat by making it so I did not have to choose one without sacrificing the other.
#im feverish feeling (not a real fever just malaise that i have no other way to describe) from the IBS (which can affect you like that#)#and i don't actually want to do ANYTHING#i would have to even living with others but it would be easier#at the very least i wouldn't have had to clean the microwave earlier which is hard because my arms are like the size of a meerkat's#and i can only reach the back with my fingertips#where is my BF in all this?#WORKING FULL TIME WITH BACK PAIN#yes i AM going to want him to have to do as little as possible when he comes home#he's neurodivergent too and struggles with the same shit#it's all a mess#we are doing way better i didn't realize how deep a drain three very sick cats were#but there's still only two of us#if you are disabled physically OR MENTALLY you should at least get in-home household help once a week or so#there's places that do that but the limitations are usually severe and always rule me out#because im not single im not an elder im not a veteran and im not physically disabled#if we have to ration that sort of thing i can see how on the whole it is more caring to allocate those resources to for example elders#but the fact that i celebrate what help there is doesn't mean i don't get mad that more people can't access it#is2g if i was functional enough snd physically sound enough i would start a charity that did intervention cleaning for people like us#who have fallen behind and can't catch up but can MAINTAIN#and who helped people clean for a few months during and after an illness pregnancy trauma major loss etc. so they could stay on their feet
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