#like maybe I’m the one taking it too seriously but only the worst fandoms cheat on harmless polls like

[kyluxtrashpit]

Been hearing from multiple people I know and trust in the fandom that apparently people have been botting that hottest man poll that everyone’s been yelling about? And that kylux fandom specifically is the one guilty of it

And honestly I’m extremely disappointed in anyone who thinks that’s appropriate. These are supposed to be fun and you’ve gone and ruined it for everyone participating AND made all of us look like assholes in the process for being unable to be normal about a harmless, just-for-fun poll

Hope you’re proud of yourselves. Genuinely pathetic behaviour. I expected better from the fandom I’ve called home for nearly 10 fucking years

[biolizardboils]

Crumpled Up Pages: Old Captain Underpants WIPs #1-4

The First Epic Movie turned 5 earlier this month, and I dug through some old folders to write this post about it. In the process, I found some fanfic ideas I’d written down, fleshed out a little, and then forgot about for years. So while hyperfixation still has its grip on me (and while there’s still some extra activity in the tag), I figured I’d finally set these dust bunnies free!

A few ground rules before this deep dive descends:

When I say “fleshed out a little,” I’m putting major emphasis on the “little.” Some of these docs contain detailed notes and snippets of dialogue, but others are just a title and a vague one-sentence summary. I’ll be transparent about what each one contains, and try to fill in the bigger gaps by memory.

If you were around for the CU Fandom Renaissance of 2017, some of the ideas here might sound familiar, ‘cus I refitted them into fanart and headcanon dumps that actually got posted. I’ll link to those where they’re relevant.

These were all written and abandoned months before a CU show was even announced, so there’s no Epic Tales content or characters in here. Sorry if you were expecting any!

I’m splitting this into two posts cus it was getting and taking too long. This first part will cover the 4 simplest, fluffiest WIPs; the second one will tackle the 6 sadder, more character-heavy ones. And with character-heavy stuff comes spoilers for the movie and books — especially the books. If you haven’t read all 12, you’re probably wondering why anyone would care about Captain Underpants spoilers. First off, your loss; second off, BEWARE!

And finally: if you write fanfiction and feel inspired to use any of these ideas? You have my permission to do so! Seriously, steal anything here and put your own spin on them! I don’t care much for credit, but if these old things help fuel someone else’s creativity, I’d love to know!

That’s enough prep, probably. Plug your nose!

WIP #1: Inspiration

It can come from even the worst of places. ...And people, in this case. [Book!Verse, pre-Book 1.]

This document contains a long script, but no context; I can remember the gist though, so I’ll insert that in-between dialogue. Basically it’s third grade, and George and Harold are in detention again. They cheat to fill up the blackboards like usual, but they’re too bummed out to start a comic afterwards. George sits around stewing in his frustration while Harold angry-scribbles Mr. Krupp yelling.

“...Why does he hate us so much, George?”

“I dunno. Maybe ‘cause he can’t handle our coolness? …Nice drawing, by the way.”

“Thanks. …It’s making me sad just lookin’ at it, though.”

“Yeah, me too. …I wonder what he’d look like if he smiled.”

“...?”

“...I mean, like, a real smile, not an I’ve-got-you-now smile.”

“Oh. Hmmm…”

Harold erases Krupp’s wide yelling mouth and draws a goofy smile in its place.

“Aw, man, now it’s just creepy.”

“Darn.”

The boys keep editing the drawing until it stops being creepy and starts being funny. George erases Krupp’s toupee, remembering the time they stole it and the teachers couldn’t take him seriously without it. Harold draws one of his office curtains around his neck, adding more color and kinetic energy. Soon they’re struggling not to laugh out loud, but they manage to calm down… until George gets an idea that takes the sketch from great to legendary.

“Waitwaitwaitwaitwait. Remember what my pop said about Superman yesterday?”

“That he looks like… DUDE. Duuuuuude.”

Harold redraws Krupp’s entire lower body so he’s only wearing underwear. Then with a flourish, he adds the finishing touch – two dots on his chest – and they both lose it. All their laughter finally prompts the real Krupp to check on them, and predictably, he rips up the drawing. It upsets the boys in the moment, but they’re still in much higher spirits than before, and brainstorm a new comic about their new creation as they skateboard home.

“You think we should make his origin issue first?”

“Naw, let’s get right to the action! His outfit’s already the perfect hook – finally, a superhero who actually does fly around in his underwear!”

“Yeah, and he could fight with Wedgie Power!”

God, rediscovering this gave me the most uncontrollable grin. From the date it was last opened, I think this fic was meant for September 1st, 2017 (Book 1’s 20th anniversary), and I gave up after missing it. For shame, 2017!me. For shame.

——————————————————————————————————

WIP #2: Untitled Boomer One-shot

Harold won’t admit it, but he’d slay a dragon for his little sister. [Book!Verse but only cus this scene was deleted and is thus dubiously canon]

This doc’s nothing but notes, so I’ll paraphrase the plot: Ms. Hutchins takes Heidi and Harold to Boomer the Purple Dragon: Live! Harold was gonna stay with the Beards but they cancelled last minute, and he’s grumpy about it the whole time. When the show ends, kids gather in front of the stage to meet Boomer; Ms. Hutchins suddenly gets an important call, and makes Harold walk Heidi up there. 

But the dragon’s mascot suit is big up close for a 6-year-old, and Heidi gets so scared she starts crying. She’s rooted to the spot and waves her arms in panic, but “Boomer” thinks she wants a hug and waddles closer and closer... until Harold kicks him in the groin. Their mom understandably grounds him for it, but Heidi is grateful and calls him her hero :)

This one was based on the classic “kid hits mascot in the weak spot” genre of AFV, but also on an early memory of mine! My sister and I loved Arthur as babies, so our mom took us to see this thing. The characters suddenly being real (and huge) was so upsetting that we scream-cried until she took us home early. (Speaking of Arthur, it’s a shame Heidi’s never really done anything in canon, I can see her having big DW energy.)

——————————————————————————————————

WIP #3: When Worlds Collide

It was less “love at first sight” and more “love at first squawk.” [Book!Verse, Book 7.]

A quick refresher: George told Harold to take Crackers back to dinosaur times, but he left her in the treehouse with Sulu instead. Later in the book, they’re shown snuggling in their sleep 🥺🥺 Anyway, this fic was about what they got up to in between! It’s actually the most complete of the lot, but only because it’s so short and simple.

It opens with Harold introducing them to each other, leaving out some treats for them (hamster food for Sulu, crackers for Crackers), then telling them to play nice until he comes back. They do not. Crackers pulls a Thunderclap the moment Harold leaves, Sulu karate-chops her throat until she spits him out, and they wreck half the treehouse in the ensuing chase.

Eventually they settle for standing in opposite corners and hissing at each other. Then Sulu… *squints* …records Crackers’ hisses with his bionic ears and plays them back so they can communicate? …Yeah, okay, why not. The outline ends after this sudden development; I’m guessing they talk things out and start to catch feels, before settling in to sleep. Anyway here’s the few sentences I actually wrote out:

Harold opened the door, Sulu got on the floor, and in walked the curious dinosaur.

[…] As predator and prey faced off, a little boy and his mother happened to be walking down Vine Street. “Mommy,” said the little boy, “I can hear a bionic hamster and a pterodactyl fighting in that treehouse!”

“Oh, please,” his mother scoffed. “How do you even know what that would sound like?”

The boy considered pointing out the CHOMPs, SQUEAKs, and SQUAAAWKs emanating from the tree in big blocky letters, but decided it wasn’t quite worth the trouble.

The doc ends with a reminder to not refer to Crackers with any pronouns until the two pets can understand each other. Also I was gonna title this after a Tony Orlando and Dawn song as foreshadowing, but I couldn’t choose one, so instead I went with this Spongebob song lol.

——————————————————————————————————

WIP #4: Untitled Tommy One-shot

The school’s been near bully-free ever since Treehouse Comix Inc. was formed. Tommy reflects on this from the safety of his locker. [Movie!Verse with a hint of Book 9. CW: discussion of bullying.]

A Kid I Never Named knocks on Tommy’s locker and offers to trade Pilkeymon. They have to be sneaky, because it’s the 90′s and they have to slip a Link Cable through the locker vents without being spotted.

As they trade, the other kid asks Tommy why he hides all the time. He explains that it’s a habit from when Kipper Krupp terrorized the halls. But Kipper left four years ago, and the legend of Wedgie Magee has kept other bullies at bay ever since; the other kid points this out and asks why he still hides. This led into “a somber discussion on adverse school experiences and the long-lasting coping mechanisms they cause” (exact words from the doc). Unfortunately 2017!me never wrote any dialogue, and I’m mad at her for that.

Trivia drop! I used the Pilkeymon joke a few times at @treehouseblogsinc, but it’s way older than that, and also not mine: Pilkey.com used to have a coloring game named Pilkeymon’s Paintbox. It even had art of Dav’s old spiky-haired avatar with Pikachu ears! There’s no trace of it on the Internet anymore, but I swear I’m not making this up.

I left a note here to add that Tommy has glow-in-the-dark stickers in his locker, which ended up in this headcanon dump. There’s also a list of last names I came up with for him but never chose between: Chambers, Lakatos (which I shared once here), and Lockenspiel. Right now I’m leaning towards the last one, it rolls nicely off the tongue.

——————————————————————————————————

That’s it for now! Not gonna lie, I’m still nervous about posting the other 6 WIPs. Most of them deal with Book 12, and all the tough subjects that that entails. But hey, I made this bed, and by God am I gonna lie in it. Thanks for reading so far!

[xaibaugrove]

Everyone in the Krew is Problematic

I was inspired to go on this rant by someone who recently brought up a question in a server I’m in, asking why so many people in the fandom seem to hate Mako and Makorra and why. This wouldn’t be the first time I defend Mako and it most likely won’t be the last, but it might be the first time I tear him and everyone else in the Krew down in the process, only to bring them back up. Hear me out though.

I think I’ve totally accepted that a lot of people in this fandom will always hate Mako and that I will have to perpetually defend him, I understand that this is the relationship I’ve chosen with this world. But what I still will never understand are the reasons why people hate/dislike him because compared to how much they love other characters in the Krew who honestly aren’t that much better than him (in some cases, even worse!), it doesn’t make any sense.

Let me also preface this by saying, I love these characters with all my heart and soul, probably more than I should love fictional characters, but this is the life I live and with that being said, I am going to tear them apart just to prove a point. Okay, here we go.

MAKO

Most of his detractors list the usual criticisms, which are valid when isolated. He cheated on Asami, he lied to Korra, he was a terrible boyfriend and essentially he treated the women he claimed to love or care about horribly. Gee, it’s almost like the man was a teenager with no experience in having long-lasting, healthy relationships and was raised in the streets by gangmembers while doing anything to survive and provide for his younger sibling after seeing his parents killed right in front of him and suddenly being orphaned…

I think Mako has been torn down enough, so I won’t get too deep into the tearing down part for him. It really does baffle me how someone can claim to be woke and not comprehend how someone coming from poverty could possibly be a product of their environment. Like, does everyone think that poor people automatically have hearts of gold and turn out like Little Orphan Annie? Why are people surprised that when someone has a shitty life, they might do shitty things?

Also, sooo many people love Zuko, who actively tried to cause harm to Aang, Katara and Sokka numerous times, and sympathize with his troubled past. But like, sure Zuko had an abusive father and his mother peaced out of his life for whatever reasons but at least he had his uncle. Mako had his parents for maybe 8 years before they were murdered in front of him and then had...no one for the next 10 years? Except for Bolin, sure, but no other parental figure in his life. Dude literally had to become him and his brother’s own parent and joined a gang to survive, and after all that, the worst he does is acts as a bad boyfriend toward Korra and Asami and he is instantly thrown to the wolves. Something doesn’t add up. It’s just...I don’t get it.

Yes, the way he treated people was bad, but people can grow? That’s a thing humans can do. And he was a teenager, my god. No, we cannot allow our past to be an excuse for how we treat others, but we have to be aware that there is a growth process to being human. And being human in and of itself, isn’t pretty. You think Mako is problematic? Don’t get me started on your fave.

KORRA

Ok, I love this woman to death but she is ridiculously problematic. She pursued someone in a relationship and essentially forced Mako to cheat on Asami by kissing him against his will, that’s already pretty awful and shows a lack of empathy on her part, also kissing people without their consent is no bueno. But also I just have to say it for the people who might not know this. One of the fundamental reasons why Makorra didn’t work was because KORRA WAS ABUSIVE. Okay? It wasn’t just that Mako was inadequate at relationships and didn’t know how to people, it wasn’t that she was secretly confused and wanting Asami the entire time (biphobia at it’s best) one of the main problems in the pairing was that Korra was crazy abusive towards Mako. Seriously, why don’t I see this more often in those discussions??

If we need examples, I have dozens. Honestly, it’s really easy to see how terrible Korra was to Mako, I’d actually argue that she treated him worse than he treated her. I mean, they were both terrible to one another, but in Korra’s case she went through the motions of being completely infatuated with your first teenage crush, getting with said crush, then crashing and burning once you realize that you have no idea how to treat a romantic partner so after the butterflies wear off you subject them to all the wonderful aspects of your anger issues. Not only did she scream at Mako during every argument they had, she also threatened him with bodily harm if she got really angry. Remember how their relationship crashed and burned in Book 2? Here are the things that Korra did during that time. Let me reiterate, this was not okay.

Mako is visibly shaken by this!

This woman burst into her boyfriend’s place of work and violently kicked his desk out from in front of him with all his coworkers present. That is not normal behavior. That is a red flag. And after she came back, had amnesia or whatever and forgot they broke up after that scene, let’s not forget that Mako was legitimately Afraid to break up with her again. Korra made her partner frightened that they might suffer bodily harm if they upset her. Again, and I can’t stress this enough, this is not okay!

The little scene in Book 3 when Korra is lifting Mako like 100 feet off the ground with airbending while he’s screaming in fear just to make Asami laugh is cute, right? I’ll admit, I loved that little moment too, it’s one of the only instances of Korrasami development that we got, but also, there were sooo many things wrong with that scene lol. Not only does Korra terrify Mako for literally no reason, it’s also sort of just her continuing to exercise some degree of power over him for her own amusement. Almost like a subtle reminder to him saying, “I am stronger than you in every way and I can break your femur like a twig if I wanted to… but I won’t, so look how much fun we’re having!”

Now of course, there are reasons why Korra acts like this. She was isolated for almost her entire life and never learned how to treat people and be around people. The Avatar is human because they must live amongst the people they protect and that helps them develop empathy and cherish life. The White Lotus deprived her of that fundamental aspect of her duty as the Avatar and it showed throughout the beginning of the series. Clearly, she was young, didn’t see how her actions could negatively affect others and hurt the feelings of not just her partner but also friends and family (she was really awful towards a lot of people in her life!). But as the series went on, we see her having less outbursts and learning to control her temper more.

One can only assume that she does not have the same behavior with Asami because for one, I don’t think Asami would play that shit, she seems like she would electrocute a bitch in a heartbeat and not hesitate if needed, but also Korra is not the same shitty partner she used to be as a teenager. Again, kids do stupid things. Adults do stupid things. And we learn and we grow. Korra will probably make some more mistakes in her relationship with Asami. I don't think anyone can have one bad relationship and suddenly learn all the lessons they can from it and have a perfect one the next go around. I can totally picture Korra losing her temper and raising her voice at Asami if she gets frustrated and forgets who she’s dealing with. Managing anger issues is hard, I know this from experience, and it doesn’t magically get easier. Of course, if Korra does pop off, Asami would definitely put her in her place because she’s a bad bitch who doesn’t take anyone’s shit, next character.

ASAMI

You know her, you love her, you fantasize about her and you probably have her on your list of fictional characters you would totally bang if you had the chance (I know I do), yes, even your best girl is problematic. It’s interesting to me that a lot of people sympathize with Asami and very few openly criticize her (so few that I’ve never seen anyone say a bad thing about her). What’s there to criticize though? The poor girl was cheated on by Mako, had her feelings disregarded by Korra, who claimed to be her friend but pursued her then-boyfriend behind her back and then made up for it by simping for her for the rest of her life? Also her mom was murdered when she was just 6 years old, her father threatened to kill her once and physically abused her, then died right after they started repairing their relationship, essentially making her an orphan at the ripe age of 22. Suffice it to say, Asami has been through it.

So, how could she be problematic, you ask? Why, of course, through the classic Bryke technique of romance progression in storylines called Kissing People Without Their Consent

To be honest, I did gloss over this with Korra, simply because there were sooo many other issues with that woman and I just couldn’t go through every single one in as much detail but that doesn’t negate how serious this whole sneak attack kissing thing is. Sure, Asami is very emotional and lonely and sort of desperate too, (it's a little sad, really) but Mako is clearly uncomfortable and completely caught off guard by the kiss. This is also the second time this happens to him in the series! There are a couple factors that might contribute to why Asami does this and acts this way, maybe Korra’s general awfulness rubbed off on her (don’t make a dirty joke) but this is still wrong.

AND that’s...pretty much it. Kissing people without their permission is a big no no, though. Not wanting to gloss over that, but Asami really is a good person who just did a not-so-great thing. Getting burned by Mako twice probably made her a little less inclined to be as forward with anyone though, and it looks like she now takes her time and is patient in her relationship with Korra. It even seems like Asami is the only person Korra is afraid to upset, as Korra does seem more gentle and calm when around her. And who knows? Maybe Asami living a life where a majority of the time she got whatever she wanted when she wanted it might have also influenced her to be more assertive or even imposing within her relationships.

If anything, those three fools getting into relationships with each other just showed how not ready they were to be in relationships in the first place and also how not okay they were.

BOLIN

Originally I titled this as “Everyone in the Krew is problematic (except Bolin)” but then I remembered that Bolin totally kissed a woman without her consent so I deleted the shit out of that!

This asshole looks genuinely pleased with himself after essentially assaulting Ginger. Not a good look.

Sure, Bolin is baby. He will always be baby to me. But that does not erase the fact that he also actively supported a fascist dictator. Not only was the kissing without consent thing bad, but there’s also that. No matter how many times people around him warned him about the fact that he was on the wrong side of things, that he was helping someone who was putting people into concentration camps...Bolin wanted to believe the best of Kuvira. He ignored obvious signs that the woman was a dictator committing human rights violations like crazy and you know, there’s gotta be a reason for that too.

Maybe Bolin wanted to feel like he was doing something good for once. When you think about it, with his role as the comic relief in the Krew, and sort of constantly being infantilized by his older brother, I wouldn’t be surprised if the man developed some insecurity in his ability to do anything good or useful for anyone without screwing it up in some way. In Kuvira’s army, it seemed like he was actually taken seriously, he felt like he was doing something that mattered. Korra had being the Avatar, Asami had her business and mindblowing philanthropy (honestly, her ability to be as charitable as she is profitable is insane) and Mako had his police work (ACAB, tho). Bolin had...the role of being a joke. A superficial actor. A former pro-bending meathead.

Bolin lived his entire life following after his brother that once they were adults and Mako finally decided to live his own life for once, it left Bolin completely lost. And lost young men are perfect recruits for fascists.

So, in conclusion, my whole reasoning behind destroying the integrity of my favorite characters is to prove a huge point. All of these characters are problematic. They have flaws, some bigger than others (looking at you, Korra. Just...wow), but ultimately, even if your fave is problematic... that’s okay. A lot of people, mostly younger people it seems, are really obsessed with being right about everything that they do and stan. And that’s a wonderful thing, so much change has come about by the younger generations calling out people who do fucked up shit, don’t want or try to improve, and get away with it. But it’s also caused a lot of people to be unforgiving and completely unwilling to acknowledge when people do improve and try to be better.

Personally, I love my problematic Krew because having issues that you’re constantly working on internally is human. It’s human to make mistakes, it’s human to grow from those mistakes. And it’s inspiring to me, who is wholly imperfect, to see myself reflected in fictional characters who aren’t perpetuating unrealistic ideals of human nature, characters who are messy, crazy and ultimately human.

As one of my favorite manga artists and queen of impeccable character creation Rumiko Takahashi once said:

“I think that perfect people are not very interesting.”

And I will always wholeheartedly agree.

[about-faces]

The director Joel Schumacher has passed away, and everyone's reactions have boiled down to two topics: 1.) "He was the guy who made the bad Batman films," and 2.) "Hey, he did lots of great films besides the bad Batman films!"

Thing is... I get it. I remember being a teenage comic fan in the 90's. Not just any comics: especially Batman! But ESPECIALLY Bart especially Two-Face. I remember how "Joel Schumacher" was a name that could invoke white-hot rage in myself and everyone in the fandom. He was our modern equivalent of Dr. Fredrick Wertham, the boogyman who had (far as we were concerned) single-handedly destroyed the mainstream credibility of superheroes.

Look at that picture, and try to imagine that this was the face so loathed and mocked by Batman fanboys in the 90′s.

Never mind that Schumacher didn't WRITE the Batman films. The main credit for that goes to Akiva Goldsman, who has gone on to win an Oscar and continues to find A-list success despite ruining other geek properties like Jonah Hex and Dark Tower. Never mind that Schumacher was at the mercy of producers who wanted the movies to be nothing more than merchandise machines and toy commercials. No, Schumacher was the only name associated with the films, and he was cast at the villain.

The fact that he was openly gay played no small part in making him an easy target.

One year after the disastrous release of the infamous Batman & Robin, the beloved fan-favorite cartoon Batman: The Animated Series (then rebranded as The New Batman Adventures on the WB network) produced an episode that featured a pointed jab at Schumacher. The episode was titled "Legends of the Dark Knight," a reworking of a classic 70's Batman tale where a group of kids share their own ideas of what the mysterious Batman is really like.

Halfway through the episode, the kids are overheard by another kid, who shares his own ideas about Batman. The kid, whose name is Joel, has long dirty-blond hair, and works in front of a store which bear the sign "Shoemaker," despite clearly being a department store. He waxes dreamily about the reasons he loves Batman: "All those muscles, the tight rubber armor and that flashy car. I heard it can drive up walls!"

This last line--a reference to a silly bit in Batman Forever--he says as he flamboyantly tosses a pink fur stole around his neck. To drive home the joke, one of the kids dismisses, "Yeah, sure, Joel."

At the time, it seemed like a cathartic joke for us REAL Batman fans. Now, it's clearly just cheap and gross. Instead of any actual criticism about the films, Joel Schumacher was just seen--even if just subconsciously--as the fruit who ruined Batman.

Over time, the hatred for Schumacher lessened. Starting with Blade, X-Men, and Spider-Man, on through to Batman Begins, Iron Man, and onward, superhero movies became huge mainstream successes, with greater fidelity to the source material than most adaptations we saw up to the time that Schumacher "killed" the superhero movie. There was no point in hating him anymore, if there ever was (again, Goldsman more deserves that ire, if you're gonna be angry about anyone. Why does he still get work?! WHY IS HE NOW WRITING FOR STAR TREK?!?!).

But even still, especially among Millennial and Gen-X fans, Schumacher is still--at best--considered a low point for fandom. Even though the same generations have come to appreciate and love some of his other films, such as The Lost Boys, Phone Booth, and the chillingly-prescient Falling Down, there's still this need for people to dismiss the Batman films as embarrassments that are best forgotten in favor of Schumacher's better films. And if they're to be remembered at all, it's to trash them all over again in a tone suggesting that the films are objectively, irredeemably bad.

Except they're not. Oh sure, if you go in looking for a grim and gritty capital-M "Mature" take on Batman, of course you'll hate them, just like you probably also hate the Adam West Batman show. Remember, that show also used to be hated by decades of Batman fans because of how it didn't take the comics seriously.

... except it did. The show was VERY faithful to the Batman comics of the 50's, which often out-weirded and out-sillied its TV counterpart. If anything, the show made some of those stories even more entertaining with camp value and jokes that added different levels of enjoyment to the adults watching. Comic fans resented how Batman became a pop culture joke, and increasingly fought against anything that was colorful and campy (which makes me wonder if this might also be related to latent homophobia). Whether or not they admitted/realized it, the Batman fans of the 70's and 80's carried a chip on their shoulder about a show that DARED to make Batman FUN.

And really... how is that any different than Schumacher's two films?

You don't have to agree, but I think Schumacher's films are fun. I think Batman Forever is highly entertaining, that Tommy Lee Jones and Jim Carrey are bringing their hammy A-games as much respected actors like Burgess Meredith and Caesar Romero brought to their roles. Same goes for Arnold and especially Uma in Batman and Robin. They KNOW what movies they're in, and they're all having a blast.

(How many of us remember the exact line Eddie says at this moment? I bet you probably do too, which should tell you something about how memorable this movie is)

Now, BF and particularly B&A are by no means GOOD movies, but you can't tell me that you couldn't have a blast putting the latter on at a party and riffing it with friends. It's not a pretentious, ponderous, self-serious slog like, say, the shit Zack Snyder cranked out (apologies to the one or two cool Snyder fans here, I just find his films interminable). Even besides the many things I could say to defend Schumacher's Batman films (that's a whole other essay), you can't say they were boring. They were entertaining, even if on a level of making fun of the film, and that is NOT as easy as it looks.

Let me put it to you this way: Batman Forever has, objectively, one of the worst takes on Two-Face I've ever seen. He's one-note, he's kind of a rehash of Nicholson's Joker, he gets completely overshadowed by the Riddler, he gets killed by Batman in a way that completely betrays the whole “DON’T KILL HARVEY” arc with Robin, and worst of all, he CHEATS on the coin toss. That alone would be enough for me to condemn this depiction in any other Two-Face story.

And yet, even I--the most passionate, opinionated, and picky Two-Face fan you will EVER know--still have a soft spot for Tommy Lee Jones' take on ol' Harv. He’s just too fun, too flamboyant, too damn extra not to love. If only all bad takes on Two-Face could be this fun!

But that’s the thing: it’s not because the script was good. Oh god no. I've read the script, and if it were put on the page like a comic, I would have hated it just like any other bad Two-Face comic. I have to imagine that, as director, Joel Schumacher deserves the bulk of the credit for pushing the restrained and laconic Tommy Lee Jones into that oversized performance, and making it a delight to watch despite everything it does wrong.

I'm rare for my generation to have learned how to stop worrying and love Schumacher's Batman. But the younger generation, the up-and-coming Gen-Zs getting into Batman, don't share the same grudges we did. There's a genuine, shame-free enjoyment of those films among The Kids, many of whom are LGBTQA+, who love the jokes, the silliness, the camp, the Freeze puns, the swag of Uma Thurman, and the homoerotic subtext between Two-Face and the Riddler. Maybe it's just a reaction to so much GRIM, SERIOUS shit that DC and their fanboys are trying desperately to push even today.

But comics--especially Batman--have a long history of colorful, stupid, fun shit. Schumacher's films carried on in that tradition, and they should be appreciated on their own merits by those of us who aren't limited by narrow ideas of what Batman "should" be, and who still remember how to have fun.

Schumacher's Batman films should no longer be seen as embarrassments. They didn't ruin superheroes. They didn't ruin Batman. They didn't even ruin Two-Face. Nor should they be disregarded in favor of Falling Down, like losers in a respectability competition. They're fun. They're entertaining. And they didn't pretend to be anything else.

And if you still think they're bad... I mean, objectively, you're not wrong! But be mindful of the reasons WHY you think they're bad, because on another subjective level, you may not be right either. And it's certainly not worth holding a geek-grudge over after twenty-five years.

[chayacat]

Devil’s Sweet Star (16)

Fandom: Dead by Daylight

Ghostface x Female Reader  

Rated M for Violence, Language and Smut  

***

Yesterday was a day full of revelation. And that night was a long night's work for Danny. You think that being a murderer, especially Ghostface is as easy as stealing a lollipop from a baby?  Well, you're wrong. It’s not enough to kill someone in cold blood or just for fun without worrying about the small details to be a murderer. You have to be smart; you have to calculate each of your moves, study every potential victim, neglect no details. That's always how Danny did it, and he never changed.  

He had spent the whole night watching McKellan and his guards. 4 guards were watching the house, all as chubby as the gorillas. But the raw strength and muscles are worthless in face of Danny's flexibility and agility. He'll be able to avoid them without any problems. McKellan spends three-fourths of his time in his office, studying statistics and turnover. In case he earns less money. As if he didn't have enough already... What a miser.

But soon he will no longer have to worry about his fortune, earned dirty by lying and cheating. For soon he will become a true masterpiece of bloody art. Which unfortunately will not be appreciated by anyone. What an indignity. But good news came to Danny’s ears during the night: someone finally found Mike's body. The police are on the spot and obviously two officers, surely new ones, have obviously vomited their guts. An image that made Danny smile a lot: that's exactly the reaction he wanted. Wilhelm is going to have a job, and it's deserved. Danny couldn't stand him and it was reciprocal.

“Have a good day, my bastard... I hope you're going to have nightmares about it in addition to the other cases you have to deal with.” He said with a smirk, thinking of Wilhelm’s face.  

He looked at your picture and landed on his bed, remembering what you told him yesterday. So that's why you refused to talk about your parents. And in a sense, it's normal: Who would want to remember such a tragic day? You had a good life, you had great parents and suddenly.... everything falls apart. You're alone. That's also why you came to Roseville: To escape all this. Making a clean slate of the past. Move forward without looking back. Start a new life. For Danny, of course, he left Florida for reasons you know, since he told you everything too. Why did he do it? He himself didn't really know. Maybe because he felt obligated because you had done it? Or. Because he needed to empty that weight that weighs so much on his heart? And that you are strangely, the only person who can comfort him and with whom he feels comfortable?

He took out a picture of his bedside table, a little worn out by time and bent but still as beautiful in his eyes. It was just Carla and him, kissing her on the cheek as he takes the picture and she smile. They had been dating for a year at that time, but for him, it meant a lot to him. All these years spent together... that go up in smoke because of a man.

“I’m really sorry Mr Johnson...she passed away. We were not able to resuscitate her in time.” That’s what that bastard said to him.  

It took four nurses to master and comfort Danny. And it didn't work. And the worst happened when he learned that that bastard had let her die. What for? To justify his requests for a budget increase. Because inevitably, who says dead, says lack of staff and suitable equipment and therefore a larger budget to "fill" these gaps. But of course, the money he received... it was for his personal well-being.

His blood only done one lap. So, one night, he went to see him in his office. Without being spotted. By the window, a knife in his hand. He remembers the rage with which he had struck him until he fell to the ground, moaning in pain. He was begging him to leave him alive! Seriously?? After what he had just done? Did he dare ask him to let him live? It's a good joke.

“You took the only thing that mattered to me, and now you're going to pay for it.” Danny said before slaughtering him like a pig.  

The adrenaline he had, the satisfaction and even the pleasure he experienced, he never wanted to forget. That's how Ghostface was born. And since that day, he has improved a lot in his way of doing things. He is attacking everyone, without mercy. You're the only exception. Danny looked at the photo with a smile, melancholy before kissing her. he folded the photo where a small inscription was: I will never forget you, always in my mind.  

He put the picture in the drawer of the bedside table and got up to take a shower. He said he'd come and get you, so he might as well be a presentable minimum. There's something else that perturbated him: your reaction when "Ghostface" came to see you. Certainly, he expected it to happen one day but not so quickly. What game are you playing? Unfortunately for him, you're the only one who knows. But sooner or later he finds out. Like he always does. But McKellan is the priority for now. For real.  

The article to bring down Hoggins and Mckellan was making its way, but they were not going to publish it first. Since a journalist from Georgia had tried his move, we will give him the opportunity of exclusivity. And so, if Hoggins go after someone, it will be them and not the Roseville gazette. A clever little change of plan, proposed by the boss Hembrook himself. Having worked in the middle for years, he knew all the tricks. After all, it's not the old monkey you're learning to make grimacing, is it?

And when tensions rise between Hoggins and McKellan... That's when Ghostface will come on stage. All this promises to be wildly fun. The wait is worth it. Danny already imagines this "poor detective" heading for a false trail, who will feel humiliated when he realizes that Ghostface is making fun of him. His face will twist in unimaginable anger. He took his keys and left the apartment before driving to Zanesville Hospital. He received a message from you, telling him that you will be ready to go out soon, time for the doctors to make one last check-up before letting you go. It's better to be careful.

As he was about to start, his phone rang. It was his boss, Mr. Hembrook.

“Ah Jed! I’m glad you're answering! How are you? Ready to go back to work son?” He said on the other line.

“Hello Sir. I’m fine, I needed that break. I’m ready to track any information that Roseville needs to know. Do you need something?”

“... I guess you know... Or maybe not. But the police discovered Mike's body last night. Ghostface struck again. Apparently, he is in such a state... that two young rookies threw up their guts.”

“Goddamn... He was a big jerk, narcissistic and horrible with everyone but... He didn't deserve that. What happened?” replied Jed while Danny's holding back from smiling. Of course, he deserved it, he was just one too many bastards on this earth.

“The autopsy has not yet been performed. But in view of the initial findings, this Ghostface massacred him. and not just a little bit. since you are usually in charge of these cases... I was wondering if you'd like to go to Mike's house to write an article about this new murder. If you don't want to, I'd understand, after all you just...” said Hembrook.

“Don't worry, sir. I’ll take care of that. I just have to pick up my friend from the hospital. She's going out today. I dropped her off at her house and set off for Mike's house right after.” interrupts Danny trying to stay as neutral as possible.

“Say hello to her from me! This little girl is a lucky girl. I hope I can taste her pastries! I would like her to do it from time to time for the newspaper... she will be paid for, of course.”

“Promised. And for your proposal, I will talk to her about it, but it seems to me that she would be happy. I have to go. Good day to you Mr. Hembrook.” said Danny before hanging up.  

He started his van, and took the road. He turned on the radio to make the journey less boring and less time-consuming. It still takes about 20 minutes to get to Zanesville. It's still a long way off. Count the time he parks, picks you up at the hospital and you both leave and you arrive at a little half an hour.

He was planning to spend some time with you, but unfortunately, he just told his boss that he'll go to Mike's house once he drops you off at your house.  If he doesn't, his boss is very likely not to appreciate this. When you promise something to Johann Hembrook, it's better for you to keep your word. How many noses had he broken since the beginning of his long career? A lot too much. He often had problems because of his temperament... Explosive. Too often even. But at least he got what he wanted... In a way.

Danny couldn't help but smile as he thought of his boss in front of his boss explaining why an informant ended up in the hospital. He would have wanted to see it with his own eyes. He finally arrived at the Zanesville hospital and parked, then put his glasses back in place on his nose before descending. He looked at the façade with a lump in his stomach. Until he can turn the page, those bad memories will resurface. But how can you forget, the reason you became a murderer?

He took a deep breath before entering and heading towards the reception. The young woman told him that you were going to be able to leave your room in a dozen minutes and that she was going to inform you of his arrival. All he had to do was sit on the benches in the waiting room and wait for you to arrive.

And he didn't have to wait very long. He saw you coming from afar, talking to the doctor who had taken care of you, and when your eyes crossed, he got up and you trotted towards him, hugging him. He could not help but smile and put a kiss on your forehead, even if the urge burned him to taste your lips again.

“Well...I see that you’re really happy to see me.” He said with his angelic smile.

“And you don't push me away, so I conclude that you're glad to see me too.” you answer, smiling at him too.  

“That’s true. Did the wounds heal well?” he replied, looking at the doctor.

“Faster and better than I thought. She still needs a rest but she can go back to work without overworking herself. If you ever feel bad pain, I've prescribed medication and if it doesn't work, come back to me urgently. My professional phone number is on the prescription. I'm counting on you, young man, to watch her and take care of her.” respond the man, clearing his throat.

“Oh, don’t worry about it... I'm not going to take my eyes off her for a second. Ready? We've got a little way to go.”

You nod and you both get out of the hospital. The return journey was livelier between your laughter and the music, the few anecdotes you heard from the nurses making Danny smile. Once in front of your building you both head to your apartment, Danny smirks as he looks at you, lying behind you. And he can say that the view... is superb. You had to do a lot of sports, to have such a firm buttock. That's another part of the body he'd like to touch, plus, the rest.

“Well, this is where we separate. Unfortunately, I have work to do, my boss wants me to deal with the new murder committed by Ghostface. But if you want, we could make a little restaurant one night. I'll pay for it this time.” Said Jed with a little smile.  

“Sure! I missed it a lot... a new murder? I pity the poor victim of this sick man. Jed... Take care of yourself. You never know who his next victim might be.” You answer before kissing him, hugging tightly. Then you released him and enter into your appartement, Saying goodbye with a wave of the hand.

Danny smiled and left for his apartment. Once inside his smile disappeared, vexed to see that you like "Jed" more than he does. But it's only a matter of time before the trend reverses. Once you've passed into the expert hands of Danny... I mean Ghostface, Jed Olsen will gradually begin to fade. It's high time for Danny Johnson to take his place. One way or another. He took his work bag and left for Mike's house where he stays the rest of the day. He held back a smile, thinking back to the massacre that had taken place there and imagining these two poor policemen who vomited their guts as his boss told him.

The evening came and it's time for you to have your daily one-on-one with Ghostface. But this time he won't come empty-handed! he has a little gift for you! You were showering when he walked into your apartment through the window. Hearing the sound of the shower, the idea of entering to join you made him smile. But he's not silly he knows you surely lock the bathroom door. So, he waited for you to come out of the bathroom, in a towel, and into your room. The little start he caused in you made him smile even more.

“Goddamnit ! You can't leave me alone even one night!?” You said hiding as much visible skin as you can with your towel.

“No. And I'm especially excited to be here tonight. I have a very nice view. But it would be better if you took that towel off. But let's move on. I've got a little something for you. A small gift for... show you that sometimes I can be nice.” Danny said, handing a packet to you.

“If it's a cut limb or a knife you can keep it. I'm not a fan of the massacre like you.”

“Hahaha...very funny my little angel. But it’s none of that. I made an effort... you could do the same and accept my gift. For once.”

You took the package from Danny's hands and opened it. He smiled slyly when he saw you pulled out a black dress... very, very sexy. Short and quite open at the chest.

“The dress that your little nerd offered you is pretty good I have to admit ... But this one makes your shapes more valuable to me. I hope you like it.” He replied approaching you, taking your face in his hands. “I know he and you kissed... and not just once. I am vexed that you chose him instead of me. He's so annoying... You'll get tired of him very soon believe me.”

“What do you know about that? At least he is not a mentally ill man who kills for simple pleasure.”

“It's been a long time since you've broken my heart. It’s clear that he only thinks about his work. Me on the other hand... I will treat you like a queen, in exchange for keeping silent on my.... Activities. Which, by the way, will fix you when McKellan will be dead. I haven’t forgotten that you’ll owe me a favor when it’s done. And this dress... will be a part of what you owe me. I hope you'll wear it that day.”

“Don't even think about it. Creep...”

“Oh, I gonna think about it every single time my sweet little star. And it’s better for you...” He starts pushing you on your bed, pulling on the towel to get you naked. Then he passed the plate of his knife on your belly rising little by little. “It’s better for you to obey. It would be a pity for you and for me to damage this sublime body. Don't you think so?”

“Get...get off of me...” you said hardly, biting your lips by feeling the cold blade touch your breasts.

Danny chuckled as he gradually raising his blade. He could enjoy it so much now but... He knows that sooner or later he'll have his reward. He took his camera and took a picture of you before backing away and laughing as he saw you hastily looking for something to dress.

“I keep it as a little memory. Until I can touch the real merchandise, I'll just look at your curves in pictures. I still have work to do. McKellan's death must be perfect and spectacular. I have to plan everything in every detail, you understand? Until we meet again... take care of that nice body for me, will you? Have beautiful dreams... hoping I'm in it.”  

Danny sends a kiss to you and his smile grows wilder when his saw your disgust and your anger. Then he disappeared. Is there just an emotion that doesn't make you so cute? Danny would have liked to spend more time... intimate with you, explore your body to make you vibrate with pleasure but as he told you …

He still has some preparations to do. And this murder will be the most spectacular Roseville has ever known.

You can count on that.

***

(Well, it’s done! I started the code to get my driver's license and for now I'm doing pretty well! (yes at 22 it might be time for me to have it I know! U.u) But I have an excuse! (or not) I've always been afraid of driving and seeing some of my generation driving like sick didn't reassure me either. But I know I'm going to make it! In the meantime, I hope you will like this chapter as much as the others! See ya!)

[girlofthefandom]

Tales from the smp thoughts and random quotes I enjoy (essentially delayed live blogging) Part 1

I love all these npcs already

“Hurry up camera man!”

Yes! Gladiators! I remember seeing someone say that idea

Just some joes

Porkeous the 7th. Oh no I can see the fan girls now.

Yes! Punch em off!!

“Yeah same.”

“That’s good cause I don’t” “we build a new colosseum every time”

I can’t want to see the names of everyone’s characters. Especially Philz’

Stairs everyone’s worst enemy

Tubbo... sweet child

She disappeared!! Witch craft! Burn the witch!

Tubbo=Jacky (forced off streets)

Fundy=Laggius Maximus (I love this name so much with the spinning)

Please don’t kill both the boys in this fight. But also I’m cheating for Laggius.

Subbin Empire? Subbin to Technoblade!

Go Laggius! This is not going to go well... this is really not going to go well...

No I refuse to root for Jacky. I like Laggius the bit will be funnier later.

I want to know what happened to the last camera guy! Let us know!

Vertical feeling! Heaven forbid! Also look at them insulting TikTok

I love the background music. Feels magical.

A lovely jump

Surprises... well that’s ominous. And wait the first one!

Tower! Towers are always good.

We got our popcorn. Ready to watch this fight.

Laggius is... coming... maybe...

GG Jacky... he hasn’t won yet but gg.

Lava!!!! Hooray! Love us some good lava

Poor Laggius... he was burning too early

And Laggius is still lagging

Why isn’t Jacky burning?? He won???

Knocked unconscious in the lava. What is this a Pokémon game?

GG Jacky.

Nobody needs to know the way around here.

“Almost like a video game” just break that fourth wall right down

Keeps looking at sapnaps character and talking about strong. How sweet. We love some fiancé’s.

Please don’t throw Laggius to the wolves

Jack Manifold = Bartholomew

Phil having to translate. I love it.

Watson = Phil

Good pun. Very good pun.

Nobody likes Punz. Gosh everyone’s so mean

We love Watson. Let’s go Watson.

Bartholomew with the drugs and Watson.

Crazy drunk man with fire resistance

I agree with Watson why did we come to this cousin.

Sapnap in a hole

Also I love the drinking age being 3

Let’s go Watson!!!

Where are my Pom poms? I’ve got a Watson to cheer for.

Execute those architects.

And their first Borns.

Watson! Watson! Watson!

“Welcome to the land of the living Bartholomew.”

I love the slow fight.

Come on Watson shoot em!

Oh no. Oh no. Come on Watson. You’re so close!

Noooooooooo.

Why Bartholomew???? I can’t spell that! I’ve been relying on autocorrect this whole time.

Watson would be so much easier to spell.

Still must go down the stairs.

Speed running life. That’s what I do.

No one dies. Just take them to nurse joy.

Poor Punz being so bullied

Punz=Levi

Levi? Really? Oh well I like the name. He won’t like but I like the name.

Also why does Levi have such a full backstory.

Has weapon hands with a horrible southern accent. I love it.

“Hmmm”

Who is Ol’ Sap?

Sapnap = John

And no creativity apparently.

Laggius had the best name for a gladiator. All the others are too boring.

Why are we beating up BBH

Hannah=Genevieve

Genevieve! I can spell that thanks to old Barbie movies!!

Go Genevieve! Trained her life! I love this woman!

Mostly women upstairs. I love it our fandom is so biased.

“Are you sure about that?”

Darlin? Really that’s not the right word.

Go Genevieve! I probably shouldn’t cheer for her since everyone I’ve cheered for has lost.

But still GO GENEVIEVE!!

Our empire is millions in dept

Let’s step up the battle! Let’s gooooo

“Ayyyyy!!!”

Go Genevieve! Levi hush up with your gills.

Jump in! Splish Splash!

Wait why are we listening to Mario Kart music? Wait I recognize this song.

Go Genevieve!!

YES FINALLY! I PICKED THE WINNER!

Levi hush. You done lost messed up southern boi.

Go Genevieve! I can actually spell your name!

I straight forgot Porkeous the 7ths name for a second and had to check my notes.

Stairs. Woop de doo.

“Pick the most handsome” wow

Ol’ Sap = John as I remember. And he’s sticking with it. Bold man sticking with it.

Ranboo = Ran

Just Ran and it’s just the enderman part of the skin. Haha. Very funny.

BBH = Edward

He went from strange voice to normal(ish) voice

I don’t like Edwards speech pattern. At the very least. Yucky.

John v. Edward letsa go

Go John!

Wait we renaming? This is going to get confusing.

Handsome. Can you two quit flirting (not really keeping going)

Alrighty then Ugly v. Edward

Go Ugly! (Sentence I never expected to type)

The seat thing

And saying king Julien. Sigh.

Just BRB real quick.

Thinking about buying things. Oh he meant ad.

Alright Ad 1/3 let’s go.

No I can’t even open chat to watch them instead of the ad. Boooo.

2/3 let’s get this done!

3/3

Snickers just loading for forever

Alrighty we survived.

And a crown really? Just wants his normal skin back.

Let’s go Ugly!

Bo-at battle! Let’s go!

Please don’t shoot Ugly.

Go Ugly!

“King Are you ok!”

I still hate Edwards speech pattern so much

Please. Just pretend to have a fair fight.

The rabbits???? Cant rabbits swim?

Hooray rabbits! I don’t what purpose they serve but I love them.

Edward or Edwardo? Did I miss something?

Ok it seems both.

Shooting a rabbit? Disowner on you disowner on your cow.

Killing pets reference? The references are so good.

YES UGLY!!!! Thank heavens!

I’m 2/4 for choosing the winner.

I hope ugly keeps on winning

“Colosseum Remote Control”

3 in 1 battle how did they not plan correctly for an even number

Nerds hold cameras you heard it here folks

I don’t want to hear deeper for some of these stories. All I want to see is Genevieves further story. She seems deep.

“Massive pigs growling at us. No offense”

Watson trying to clean the table.

We bringing in the Harmonika.

Harmonika fits the moment.

Yes name him handsome! Haha

Grievous is how I’m spelling that stupid sounding name. But it’s better than John and ugly.

I can’t get over the name Ran.

BE GONE LEVI!

I love Watson having to take care of Bartholomew. Translating for him and waking him up.

Phil just can’t resist playing the dad.

No no stopping just fighting.

Also I love Watson saying break it up. I wish Watson had won.

Genevieve sounds like such a lovely lady and she deserves to win.

As much as I love Grevious I want Genevieve to win.

Sapnap=Grevious good gracious this is hard to follow.

Ran is cool. I’m going to kill over listening to them just saying Ran.

Complicated backstory. Found the main character.

Ran is cool.

Wait this place is going down??? Pardon me???

Three person fight is...

Grevious v. Ran v. Bartholomew

Genevieve v. Jacky

Puns! Let’s go! And of course Levi likes Puns.

Everyone is so mean.

GO GENEVIEVE!

And Watson just babysitting Bartholomew

I’m going to get good at spelling Bartholomew. Because I was horrible at it before.

Empire of women!

Cages=Lava

“Mmm what smells good”

Battle star!!

“Boing Boing Boing”

Water dome?

Water Dome in Lava?

Well he tried zombies/bunnies

Lava in the water sphere?

Only fight at top of fishbowl got it.

GO GENEVIEVE!

Come on girl you’ve got this!

No Genevieve babe please don’t lose.

“The boats going down.” “It’s yelling timber.” “Like that song that hasn’t been made yet.”

Hurry up and die. I love it.

NO GENEVIEVE!!!!!

Do do do do

That was a longer fight. But pretty good.

To the cellars! Not to the cellars!

No! The boat is gone!

That was close.

This feels like a funky Pokémon game.

Jacky is a finalist! Good for him. I’m not cheering for him but good for him.

TRIANGLE FORMATION

Who’s missing? Oh wait it’s Bartholomew

“Intense prison cosmetic surgery”

Rabbits! We love rabbits.

Oh no faceplant mode!

What is even happening?!?!

Thinking creatively.

Just don’t die. What a game.

Cant wait to watch the thinking creatively animatic.

In a boat to avoid floating.

Attack!

Go Ran!

Oh we’re lagging.

Disable the dive mode!

The zombies are a bit much. Oh everyone’s actually fighting.

Rats why weren’t there baby zombies when Watson was going. They even made a Phil reference.

No treaties.

Go Ran! Keep on running away.

I love Ran.

GO RAN! I love Grevious. But GO RAN

Faster Zombies. Zombies go zoom.

Oh Grevious won.

Wait why does Ran have grass and why do they see him again.

Placing more dirt to clean old dirt.

Poor Grevious.

I feel sorry for him now.

Stand on da dirt.

Put the rabbits in the cages!!!!

I cheer for Grevious.

And yes there are many a loser.

Everything is so spicy. As in lava is there.

You can’t kick your fiancé’s future descendent out of the gang.

A full inventory

Watson with the backup button!

Seriously all he can do is be a dad.

OH BOY LAGGIOUS IS BACK!

And he’s here for the picture.

And Watson is (still) bullying him!

Bartholomew is pure trouble.

Ooops. The root beer was on the brain.

Watson! Come get your drunk!

Oh wait he actually did! I love this so much.

Petition for more Phil in Tales.

Only Genevieve voting for Jacky

Some people refusing to vote.

I’m sorry who asked if Laggius is ok.

He is always (not) ok

He is fine. See.

I love Laggius’ character the most.

Go winners!

Reformed kinda. If that doesn’t sum up the whole of the smp.

All the grass in the cage.

And Laggius being his slow self.

Nothing v. General

I love how it went from King to Emperor to King

And there is Laggius.

I don’t know how anyone else is spelling Laggius but I like this way and refuse to edit it if it actually spelled different.

Oh we’re getting more ads.

1/3 let’s go

[zodiyack]

Speeding Cars

Requested by anon: Hello I wanted to ask if you could do a Tommy Shelby x reader angsty song!fic based on the song speeding cars by walking on cars. Also thank you in advance and if you can't no hard feelings.

Pairing: Thomas Shelby x Female!Reader

Warnings: Angst, swearing, cheating, mentions of abuse

Words: 2,164

Song: Speeding Cars by Walking On Cars

Key: Lyrics = Bold + Italic, Memories (and sometimes emphasis) = Italic

Taglist: @captivatedbycillianmurphy, @stydia-4-ever, @matth1w, @redspaceace, @simonsbluee, @jenepleurepasbaby, @peakysputain, @fandom-puff​, @darling-i-read-it​

Masterlist | Peaky Blinders Masterlist

So if I stand in front of a speeding car, Would you tell me who you are, what you like? What's on your mind, if I'd get it right? How I love that no one knows. And these secrets all that we've got so far, The demons in the dark, lie again, Play pretends like it never ends; This way no one has to know

He loved her, so Polly understood his pain. The family had recently told him about Y/n’s betrayal. How she never actually loved him. And even if she had, he had to give up his love for her to be with another woman. It hit him. Hard. But she understood his need for space.

At least, that’s what she imagined he was going through.

In reality, Tommy was going through the downfall of their relationship. Y/n had actually loved him, confessed her betrayal one night. Though his reaction was not ideal, expected- yet not ideal, he loved her nevertheless.

She came to him, just the other night, and fessed up the newest information. Her employer offered a deal; Tommy take the man’s daughter’s hand in marriage for peace, or their war would continue. Accepting would mean he, the employer, would no longer be a threat to the Shelby family, but it also meant Tommy could no longer see Y/n, as that would be crossing him.

His palms slammed down on the wooden surface of his desk, splinters piercing through his soft pale skin. The water in his eyes formed into droplets, splashing down on the papers in front of him.

“You don’t love me, do you?”

“That’s not what I said. And frankly, I believe I should be the one to ask that, of you!” The hurt in his voice made Y/n wince. “You’re playing the victim, after telling me you work for my enemy. How wonderful.”

“I understand, Thomas, you’re hurt-”

“Hurt is an understatement. I... I’m letting my family down by falling for you. I’m putting everyone I love at risk, because I was dumb enough to fall for you.”

His angry ranting continued as he paced the room. Y/n felt her own anger bubbling up to the surface before she finally snapped. “You think you’re the only one with that problem? I hadn’t intended to fall for you, but in the end, I did! I fell for you and I don’t regret anything besides working for that... that.. that dick!”

Tommy’s head snapped upwards, finally noticing the tears that streamed down her cheeks, how red and puffy her eyes had become. Her expression showed him just how genuine her confessional outburst was.

“You mean that?”

“Of course I mean it, Tommy. I would give anything to be able to live a normal life with you. No enemies, no living in fear of your life or my own, just a normal life.”

He hesitated, breathing slowly as he processed the information. Tommy scoffed at himself before walking over to Y/n and pulling her flush against himself. “I love you. I know, we’ll have to talk about this in the morning, but for now, I need you to know that I love you.”

“Promise me.”

“Promise you what?”

She pulled away slightly, looking into his eyes, “Promise me you’ll never forget me. If I betray this man... I could die. So, remember me. Whether I run or die. If I run, and the man forgets about me or dies or... so on, promise you’ll look for me?”

The silence that began to crawl it’s way into the room haunted Y/n. She held a breath, fearing the worst of his response before- “Do you even have to ask? How could I ever forget a woman like you?” A smile formed upon his lips, a chuckle following suite.

Even the half smile would have slowed down the time, If I could call you half mine, Maybe this is the safest way to go.

We're singing, Heya heya heya heya, Heya, heya heya. This is the safest way to go nobody gets hurt. We're singing, Heya heya heya heya, Heya, heya heya, You go back to him and then I'll go back to her

So if I stand in front of a speeding car, Would you give your little heart? Say the word? Due to just me and you, This way everyone will know; 'Cause these secrets all that we've got so far. The demons in the dark, lie again, Play pretends like it never ends, This way no one has to know

Tommy excused himself from a conversation with a friend of his wife’s, following something only he seemed to see. It had to be. He was certain. His heart began to pound in his chest.

Only a week ago, he’d married the daughter, gained mercy for his family, and broke his own heart as well as Y/n’s. He really wasn’t in love, despite convincing his wife and the people who’d attended the wedding. Deep down, his heart belonged to the woman he know held against the wall.

His lips traveled up her neck, hand gripping her thigh against his waist. Kissing was the only thing they’d done that night, but her hesitance told him something.

“Is there anything you’d like to tell me?” He mumbled against her jawline, the tingle-like tickle causing her to giggle softly.

“We have to stop this.”

He stopped, smile dropping from his face, and pulled away. “What do you mean?”

“Thomas.” He pulled away, allowing his eyes to scan her features fully. Though the light was dim, he could see every detail. The seriousness they held made his heart drop. “You have a wife. Her father... my employer... he found someone for me. Not my choice, as I would love to continue this... he just...”

“Knows you love me.” Tommy’s eyes fell to the ground, realization hitting him as he finished her sentence. “I understand.”

“Re-remember your promise?” Her words caught his attention once more, “Even though this is the way to live...don’t forget me. We can find a way to push through this.”

“You’re right.”

“I love y-”

“You made your point. I have to forget about you. This is the way to live. And if I still have you on my mind, it won’t seem real.”

“Tommy-” Y/n’s hand came to his cheek slowly, but he pushed it away. “Tommy, don’t do this-”

“No.” He scoffed, chuckling mockingly. “You tell me to give us up, then you tell me not to. Make up your mind, Y/n. Either risk our lives so we can be together, or be a coward and give us up.”

His words hurt her, stabbing her with figurative knives, until she put up the same emotional barrier she held when they first met. “You’re being just as much of a dick as he is. Maybe you should give us up. Cause I would really prefer not going through being under his influence again. So, this is goodbye, Mr. Shelby.”

Her shoulder bumped into him as she walked away. He didn’t miss the redness in her eyes, the way her voice struggled- like she was holding back. Making sure to break in front of him.

And she was; as soon as she left the back doors of the building, her eyes began to pour, just as hard as the rain over her head. Her fiancé waited for her at the front of the building, smoking his cigarette and laughing with his friends.

He was not the best of partners, and neither were the people he chose to spend his time with. She debated, truly, whether she should run back to Tommy, tell him just how bad their choices were, but she was too late. He spotted her, stubbing out the stick, and walked over, grabbing her harshly and announcing their leave to the group of men he had previously been chatting with.

Even the half smile would have slowed down the time, If I could call you half mine. Maybe this is the safest way to go. We're singing Heya heya heya heya, Heya, heya heya, This is the safest way to go nobody gets hurt. 

Their attempts of straying from each other were useless. Tommy found himself realizing quite a bit that night. How unwise and cruel the words he used were, how he couldn’t ever try to pretend he loved her.

It wasn’t until he found his wife cheating on him with the man Y/n had married, did he realize they were both fucked over. The employer knew full well of his daughter’s status in loyalty, as well as the man he forced Y/n to marry, yet the grief they both went through from being split gave him a lot of amusement.

But he still wouldn’t let Thomas divorce her, or Y/n her partner. They were stuck, and Tommy didn’t like it one bit. Neither did Y/n. The bruises on her skin were hidden by her long gown, but revealed by the wind. While he was thankful for the sudden topic of discussion, he was beyond angry for obvious reasons.

“What happened.”

Her sharp inhale and slight jump cued Tommy in on her surprise to see him. He saw her eyes light up but dim down when she realized who she was talking to. “Tommy...we shouldn’t be conversing.” 

They began walking, perhaps for a disguised conversation, or for the sake of avoiding being in the same spot- where anyone could hear. “Did you know?”

“That our spouses were... yeah. I found out, confronted him...”

“Is that how you got those?”

Her eyes widened. “Thomas- you can’t... you weren’t supposed to see that.”

“Yes, I’m sure I know that, but I did. And I’d like it if you told me what happened.”

“You really want to know what happened? The day you... the day we stopped seeing each other, he grew upset, thought I was planning an escape and slapped me. That was the only time he’d done something as fiancés. However, when I married him...it just got worse.”

His heart panged with guilt, anger, and so many mixed emotions. He wasn’t sure if he liked it or not; emotions stripped away from him when he stopped seeing Y/n. “I could kill him, you know. I’ve got friends-”

“Yes, but then your wife’s father will go after me, your friends and family, as well you.”

“He wouldn’t know.”

“Really?” She chuckled, “Yes, yes. The man who managed to get the Thomas Shelby to fear him would surely never notice a planned death, in which the mighty Tommy set up to get the love of his life back. If she even is that.”

“You are.”

Y/n stopped walking and turned to face Thomas. “Tommy...”

“I know, we must not see each other. I’ve got that part engraved into my brain due to my eternal hatred for it. Just- please, Y/n. At least spend one last night with me?”

The way her e/c orbs flickered away from his made him lick his lips out of nervousness. He hadn’t been this anxious since he was a teen. “Thomas- you know the answer. The least I can do... is this.”

He was about to ask her what she had meant, before her palm lifted to his cheek, her lips touched his, and his hands darted to her waist out of memory. They stayed there for a moment, wetness beginning to travel their cheeks, mixing together where their faces touched.

She pulled away, giving him one last pained look, “Goodbye, Thomas Shelby.” Then, just as they both feared, she walked away. She didn’t give him a chance to say it back, for a reason Thomas knew and clung to.

They wouldn’t let it be their last goodbye.

We're singing, Heya heya heya heya, Heya, heya heya, You go back to him and then I'll go back to her

So if I stand in front of a speeding car, Would you tell me who you are, what you like? What's on your mind, if I'd get it right? How I love that no one knows. These secrets all that we've got so far. The demons in the dark, lie again, Play pretends like it never ends. How I love that no one knows

Advertise my secret- I don't really need it. I know you can feel this, So advertise my secret; I don't really need it. I know you can feel this; So advertise my, Advertise my secret

The distance was too much for either of them to handle.

Y/n took it better than Thomas, clinging to their previous meeting, the softness of his lips bringing a red hue to her cheeks every time she thought of it, and the feeling of his smooth skin against her palm sending shivers down her back.

Tommy, however, was hellbent on getting her back. Their kiss was enough to send him over the edge, to find a way to get her back into his arms. He thought of many tricks and loopholes, but none ever played out successfully in his brain.

So he tried to drag Y/n into it.

He nudged her harshly, “Tell them. I could care less.”

“But I care. It could get us both killed.”

“Say that you threatened me with it.”

“Threatened you with the fact that I slept with you a number of times the week of and the week after your wedding? Yes, what a wonderful thing to tell the man who has the trigger at the ready. Tell him that I slept with his daughter’s husband despite, oh- you know, his daughter getting married to him.” Her sarcasm was painful.

“I’m trying to think of ways for us to be together, Y/n.”

“Maybe there isn’t one! Have you ever thought of that? Maybe- maybe fate’s keeping us away from each other for a reason. Maybe we just aren’t meant for each other.”

Tommy leaned against the wall, chuckling to himself.

“What?”

“Nothing...” He lit his cigarette and brought it to his mouth, still chuckling. “Just... fuck fate. I say we write our own destiny.”

The line brought a smile to Y/n’s lips.

“So, any luck?”

“Nope. I’m still working for the bastard.” She frowned, snatching the cigarette from his lips and placing it between hers. “How about you? Think you can take him?”

“Not currently. He’s clever, I’ll give him that, but clever doesn’t beat the Shelby’s. ...He thinks it’s fate, ya know?”

“What’s fate?”

“That he’ll be the downfall of the Shelby family.”

“Well...” She handed him back his cigarettes, “fuck him. And fuck fate.”

Her smile fell. She shoved past him and walked down the hall. He could hear arguing, voices belonging to Y/n and her husband, before the clacking of shoes returned. Y/n and her husband walked past Tommy, her husband sneaking a not so sneaky smirk to Tommy, in a rush.

The door slammed shut and that’s when he noticed it. The paper that had fallen from Y/n’s pocket. Words out of his view until he picked it up. The rushed handwriting returning the grin to his pink lips.

“Fuck fate.”

We're singing, Heya heya heya heya, Heya, heya heya, This is the safest way to go nobody gets hurt. We're singing, Heya heya heya heya, Heya, heya heya. You go back to him and then I'll go back to her

If I stand in front of a speeding car, Don't know who you are, Don't know who you are...Heya heya heya heya, Heya, heya heya, You go back to him and then I'll go back to her

[colour-outside-the-liness]

First of all!! Loved the MoU fic update! left you a comment on AO3 and all. 10/10 ratings haha.

Secondly, moving countries is great you should try if you ever get a chance. I've always wanted to do that and jumped in on the first opportunity I got to make that dream come true, and I recgozine how lucky I am to be able to do so. It's definitely not easy but I'd do it again if I could (in true sag fashion 😎 haha). Where would you want to live? You ever been outside the UK?

Hahaha you and I in a team would be a nightmare to play against I think. Oh come on you absolutely do not deserve people questioning your intelligence! I like to play dumb in addition to the taunting so people underestimate me, they never see it coming when I win. They never see the cheating coming either, my friends are always shocked when they find out, but I do it almost every single time! 😂 I'm competitive too but I like to play it cool especially If I lose I'll be like "it's just a game calm down yall" but if I win I'm like "in your face losers!" (very mature I know).

I love your drunken story, though does sound like it was very dangerous so I'm glad nothing bad happened to you two! Ah I love yalls nordern accent (me and everyone in this fandom 😂) haha your friend's sense of humor is golden.👌 I'm glad you enjoyed my worst drunken experience, that was the last time I did something like that, I felt bad bc my best friend had to take care of me the whole night and you're right she should've told me it was just a rock! Lucky you you didn't get a hangover the day after, I certainly regretted drinking too much that night however fun it might have been haha.

Like I said before your niece is a really cool kid haha I'm glad you have someone to talk to about Bly Manor, don't know anyone who watches the show and my friends don't like scary stuff so I have to talk to myself about it 😂 and now you! Thank you for entertaining me ;) and I only watch the parts I really like now, I'm tired of crying every time I watch the whole show haha.

Do you do random accents really badly like Dani too? 😂 it is kinda funny your mom said it like that yeah hahaha maybe she just meant the good bits? And I mean, do you think you need help? Lol

I have a sneak peek of that damie fanart here, don't think I'll ever finish it tho. I want to do a medieval AU inspired fanart. Maybe it will also inspire someone to pick up the idea and write it haha.

How's your weekend been so far? My neighbor is making me watch Grey's Anatomy season (???) 500 idk but I wish I was reading that pirate AU instead 😂

Awwh thank you so much!! I will get around to replying to the comment on AO3 tomorrow when I reply to the others I've had a very busy day today though so haven't even had chance to read any comments yet but thank you so much for giving it a 10/10!! I wanna do it as soon as I get chance but I know it's gonna be hard and that I am gonna need a bit more money behind me first but I definitely wanna do it when I can... yeah I've been out of the UK twice- one time I went to France for the weekend when I was doing my A Levels and was like 17 the college I was studying at took some of the art kids and since I was doing a photography A Level I got to go and then a couple of years ago I went to LA for a few weeks which was great but I've never been out of the UK for longer than that!! A nightmare for everyone else but it would be hilarious for us I just know it would haha... I sometimes do I have said some dumb things, I actually used one of my dumber moments as a funny little story in one of my fics- people still laugh at me now for what I said and it's been 10 years... my roommate will not let me live it down!! See surprising people that way is always brilliant like when people just expect you to lose and then you win? That's the best kind of win in my eyes!! I don't cheat at games I am just ridiculously competitive and can't stand losing unless it's something like a video game I am okay with losing those but board games I can't stand losing and I am also a terrible winner my roommate won't play games with me anymore!! I can't say anything about anyone being that kind of a winner because I know I am and one of my sister's is terrible too we literally make a song and dance over winning Oh it was so dangerous and we were so dumb to do it like anything could've happened and we both sit and look back at that and go "man we were dumb" but I also sit and go "oh my god she's gonna be a mum in like 4 months" because we've done some crazy / stupid stuff!! My roommate is without a doubt one of the funniest people I have ever met and she's not afraid to tell it how it is... I'll admit because I have a Northern accent Jamie is like the only character on Bly Manor to not have an accent to me so when I hear people talking about her accent I'm always a little like "what?" Because to me that's just how people talk around here haha I did enjoy your drunken story and honestly we've all been there I have had to be taken care of on more than one occasion for being too drunk like to the point of people having to help me into my pyjamas and everything I've been in some bad ways haha!! She should've definitely told you it was just a rock and not a turtle!! Yeah I've only had one hangover and that was after a night of drinking where I blacked out and don't remember any of the night!! Yeah the night of the drinking is always fun- the hangover isn't though and often makes you wonder if it was worth it haha She's so cool like genuinely just a cool and funny kid and she just asks all the questions about shows she's watched so with me its Bly Manor with her mum and dad it's Stranger Things she asked me about it once but I had to tell her I'd never watched it she didn't seem impressed but yeah I'll talk to her about Bly Manor any day of the week- and you too now honestly I will talk about it to anyone that will listen... I can't not watch it all if I watch it because there's just so much about it that I love even if it makes me cry... episodes 4,6, and 8 are my favourites though and are probably the ones I have watched the most!! Yeah I do random accents all the time and they're always terrible but I always find myself really funny- I had this friend at Uni that had a slight southern English accent because he had spent most of his childhood there before moving up north and he still said certain words in a southern accent and I used to do his accent all the time but it was always terrible!! Oh yeah my mum is pretty blunt with stuff like she'll say things sometimes without thinking about how it sounds that or she just doesn't care like she's said

somethings haha I am sure she did mean the Dani thing in a nice way though because she said she liked her- Dani and Owen were her favourites and I mean some help for me wouldn't be a terrible thing I'll admit haha That fan art is incredible!! Like seriously amazing!! I would love to see some medieval fan art for Damie!! I have been sent a few medieval prompts for Damie and I have started writing some of them but it's taking time to actually get full chapters together but once I have and once I have more time from wrapping up other WIPs I'll make a start on editing and uploading those because medieval stuff is always great!! It's been good thank so far today I went to a little beach town with my mum, 2 of my sisters their partners and two of my nieces (my cool niece was one of them… not that my other niece isn’t cool but you know what I mean) and me, my two brother in laws, and my nieces all played a game of crazy golf while my mum and sisters went to a cafe and had cups of tea... they didn't wanna play with us but we still had fun while we played (I came second which I was very happy with)!! I hope you enjoy Grey's Anatomy and that you get chance to read the pirate AU soon!! It's soo good!! ☺️

[flying-elliska]

Since I know you're watching 9-1-1 now, I would want to hear your thoughts on that show! (You can also add 9-1-1: Lone star there or do it separately. Your choice. 🙂)

yess thank you i love this game !!!!

9-1-1

The first character I first fell in love with: honestly i was a bit eh whatever about all of them at first

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: but they all really grew on me, the character development is awesome, it’s the rare ensemble show where i’m never bored no matter who takes center focus. but ESPECIALLY Buck like his first few scenes I was like oh great another procedural douchebag whose assholery is glamorized like Tony from NCIS but thank god it’s 2021 things have changed. (I haven’t watched a procedural in a long time lmao). Now he’s honestly one of my favorite characters ever, which i did not see coming. the Buck Begins episode was like, so cathartic, it fucking killed me. i’m still processing.

The character everyone else loves that I don’t:  hmm idk i’m pretty on par with the fandom most of the time

The character I love that everyone else hates: not sure either except i don’t like how parts of the fandom vilify female characters

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: can’t think of any

The character I would totally smooch: every time Buck and Taylor were on the screen together last episode i was like stop I’m too bi for this, help. this show is just full of hot people in general it’s great

The character I’d want to be like: honestly Hen has got it going on, she’s warm and competent and funny, she has a beautiful rocket scientist wife and an adorable family, she’s going after a new dream at 40, she has just great chill vibes, so she is absolutely goals for me. (without the cheating bit that sucked)

The character I’d slap: none of the core cast their lives are already dangerous enough. Maybe Hen’s awful ex. Or no, Buck’s parents. Absolutely Buck’s parents. Worst parents ever. Seriously.

A pairing that I love: Maddie and Chimney are super sweet, I love them. I love Athena and Bobby and their family thing with Michael and David, the whole dynamic is just awesome. I love the unconventional families in the show. Also I do ship Buddie, I think they have great chemistry and the slow burn potential would be next level. That said, I’m annoyed at the fandom’s insistance that they have to be in love because Buck helps out a lot with Chris it just feels so ...Weirdly heteronormative to me. Real talk, this happened in my own life, some of my mom’s best friends helped raise me and it was totally platonic, I love the idea that your friends can help with the kids and vice versa, and the idea i’ve seen going around that it’s ‘abnormal’ or whatever is just...so narrow minded and obsessed with the nuclear family as the only valid family unit which is so regressive and the show is absolutely not about. Anyway yeah and if that can’t happen I do think Buck and Taylor have potential if they write them as friends first, I really liked their scenes last episode.

A pairing that I despise: i didn’t like Hen’s cheating story line, honestly. Doug and Maddie were horrible together but like, obviously on purpose. Also not to sound like a disgruntled shipper but Eddie and Ana are super cringe so far. Her first ep was about her not knowing how to deal with Christopher, not a great start and that last episode... WTF was that are we sexualizing somebody being an elementary school teacher teaching math now who even came up with this like ????? i don’t want these

Lone Star :

The first character I first fell in love with:  TK, troubled gay sweetheart with attachment issues, what’s not to love

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: Tommy and Nancy are awesome and I want to see more of them and more of the paramedic squad. Tommy is such a badass (also Gina Torres <3 <3) and I love Nancy’s sarcastic humor, and their dynamic with TK, it’s so fresh and funny.

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: can’t think of one

The character I love that everyone else hates: same

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: Owen. He was great at the start, we need more fathers that are so openly caring and affectionate, he can be a great supportive captain. But then at some point it became clear he’s written as a vanity character for the actor, a male Mary Sue, he can’t go wrong, he always has to be the hero at the center of every plot line, the show spends so much time on his petty drama about his hair or not being able to get it up while more interesting characters are kept in the background...it’s annoying, super frustrating, and it makes him a lot less interesting. every convo I have with @beeexx about the show sooner or later turns to ‘we want less Owen’ lmao

The character I would totally smooch: again, too many hot characters in this show, impossible to choose

The character I’d want to be like: Marjan, just so badass, secure in her own identity, funny, amazing, roller derby queen, she deserves better plotlines

The character I’d slap: Owen in s2 like what the hell dude. Carlos’ father also came close last ep

A pairing that I love: Tarlos, obviously, great chemistry and everything, would be better if we actually saw what’s happening with them. Grace and Judd are super sweet and I can’t wait to know more about them next ep.

A pairing that I despise: Owen and Gwyn were so annoying and immature, they tried to sell us that they were this great love when they couldn’t spend 5 minutes without arguing and then they decide to have a baby together when they were never able to pay attention to their son properly like what the fuck ???? i don’t want to see them fighting about bowls gtfo. Also the thing with Marjan with her fiancé, a lot of Muslim fans have said that it was a bad cliché so I’ll leave it at that.

[imogenlefay]

oooh, a ship game! tagged by @perfectromanceinmymind​ who i just started adoring more for reading Imzadi. ok, let’s get into this!

rules: Movie/TV ship questions; answer with a GIF; no repeats

1. First ship - Janeway and Chakotay (Star Trek: Voyager)

yeah, I KNOW. since i started my rewatch i’ve been complaining about how boring chakotay is and how captain mom - i mean mommy - i mean janeway deserves someone way more interesting. hell, i’m pretty sure i’ll be shipping Q with her over chakotay. and just see waht will happen when seven of nine shows up. ...but yeah. sue me. it’s THERE. it’s obvious. it’s just also very, very boring. 

2. First OTP - Lily and James (Harry Potter)

so, i know, tons of issues with harry potter. but that was a fandom i was super invested in. ctually, not sure that’s the right way to put it. i was super invested into the books, waxed and waned a bit... and the funny thing is, i didn’t care about the whole harry-ron-hermione-ginny thing until i started reading fandom things and was totes fine with whatever was happening (actually kinda rooting for ginny since book 2). didn’t really care about these ships. but lily and james? from first finding out about the marauders, i was on board of that ship. also, snape was a creep and a horrible person, and a nice guy, and that was not romantic

3. Favourite current ship - Sebastian and Blaine (Glee)

do i have to say it? seblaine from glee. these two have barley 15 minutes of screentime, but the chemistry is just there. i still think they were set up to be at least a midgame ship that fell through when grant gustin was busy with the flash, which given the writing on glee and the insistance on klaine as an endgame might have actually been for the better, but there’s just something about them. if blaine’s in the room, sebastian’s eyes are on him. when sebastian shows up, blaine’s mood lifts. Just so much potential, wasted again - but that’s the glee thing. 

4. Shipped from the first minute - Dean and Castiel (Supernatural)

sooooo, i won’t say they’re canon, but they’re half-canon and broke the internet. now, keep in mind, i stopped watching supernatural around season 8? the one in which metatron showed up, idk. it got so boring how every season another main character was the bad guy, the winchesters got more toxic, and of course, the treatment of cas. so i’ve seen from gift that got super toxic. but come on. i’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition. best entrance ever, electric chemistry, gradually growing connection... i’m ignoring most of supernatural canon, but that was magic. 

5. Wish they had been endgame - Barney and Nora (How I Met Your Mother)

my shipping history with himym is... spotty. i liked ted/robin, was fine with them breaking up, and reaaaally got into barney/robin. until they got together, were awful and broke up. sure, i blamed the writing, but that short stint killed my enthusiasm. enter nora. sweet, smart, confident nora who is not ashamed to admit she’s a romantic and clearly state what she wants, who calls barney on his bs and won’t let him walk all over her. and also, the first woman barney actually wanted to be in a relationship with. even with robin, lily had to bully them into it. i thought she was really good for him, and he was at his best with her. hated how she was pushed aside to bring back more barney/robin drama (who srsly brought out the worst in each other) still my headcanon that he runs into her again when he’s more mature, caring for his daughter. but alas, has to remain a headcanon. (also, it’s a pic cause i literally can’t even find a gif)

6. Wish they had been canon - Bashir/Garak (Star Trek: DS9)

sorry, not sorry. the dynamic between is amazing - the brilliant but naive new doctor, excited like a freaking puppy, meeting the mysterious spy pretending to be a tailor while trying to move away from his past. there is SO much chemistry, fascination, intrigue between them, even if they aare so fundamentally different. just... damn. except at some point midway they stopped giving them scenes. were they afraid of the chemistry? idk but i’ll spread the rumor. because we were cheated. 

7. Ship everyone else hates - Ted and Robin (How I Met Your Mother)

i get it. the writing had issues. writing an endgame ahead of time can backfire. ted backtracking to robin again and again gets really annoying. the mother was seriously amazing and i still can’t believe they pulled her off so well after all the buildup. and the pacing of wasting a whole season on a wedding for a couple that gets divorced within like five minutes is awful. i know all that. but i honestly think they work. their first relationship was seriously sweet - nothing like the trainwreck between barney and robin - and for them to come together when the timing is right, they both grew and matured, and are in the right places in their lives... idk, they work for me. 

8. Don’t even watch the show but still ship - Rory and Jess (Gilmore Girls)

i literally only know gifsets of them. they look cute. 

9. Wish they had a different storyline - House and Cameron (House MD)

i seriously shipped them so much in season 1. their date was sweet, especially how before wilson told her to please not break house’s heart. but after the date, they just threw it out. i had some hope again when she left his team and returned as head of the ER, just cause i thought it changed the power dynamic and maybe they had a shot. that’s what i would have liked to see. that they work together occasionally, and he starts seeing her more as an equal and maybe build something from there. would probably been way healthier than the toxic crap with cuddy. 

10. Actually endgame - Emma and Hook (Once Upon A Time)

oh hi, jennifer morrison, haven’t seen you in a bit. so, i also stopped watching once upon a time, as the stories got too wild and i never got into regina’s big redemption, which consisted of *checks notes* deciding she’s redeemed now and screw anyone who disagrees. but i did love captain swan. did not see that coming. like, sure, hook flirts from their first interaction, but i was against them, given how antagonistic they were. but come season 3 and neverland, and their kiss? and damn. they took chemistry, and actually built something from it, and this time, it freaking worked. which is rare. so yes, so many issues with the show, but these two? ready to set sail, captain! 

tagging @blainesebastian​, @seblaineaddict​, @glitzgustin​, @ejaycaswell​ and @liloandsoon​, as well as anyone else who wants to take a spin at this

[triviasfolly]

Of Empty Casts

Fandom: MZDS / Rating: G 

Lan Wangji is dreading the four weeks he'll have to have a cast on his broken leg. He's already plauged by a series of questions about how it happened, how long he has to wear it and (possibly the worst) can I sign it? Suprisingly, it is Wei Wuxian who comes up with a solution to one of his problems.

Read it on AO3

It had only been fifteen minutes since his arrival to school and Lan Wangji already felt drained. He was thankful Lan Xichen had been able to help him navigate the stairs and into his classroom, fielding the questions that were already grating on his nerves. As he watched his brother disappear down the hall, the fear of having to ask someone for help began to move in like a storm cloud.

Which only furthered his determination to do everything himself. As he progressed into the classroom, he was glad he was the first to arrive. He could feel the small furrow in his bow as he tried navigating his way through the desks on his crutches. Why did the desks need to be so close together? Perhaps they’d see a decrease in note passing if they moved them further apart. He’d have to mention it to his Uncle.

“Lan Wangji, can I sign your cast?” A voice sounded just as Lan Wangji managed to lower himself into his chair. The mere question grated on his nerves, the feeling only worsened when he saw it was Su Minshan who’d asked it. His patience, and goodwill, for the day already worn thin by the trek in and people, all he could manage was a glare. “Gee, I was just asking. Don’t have to be so rude.”

“Haven’t you heard Su Minshan?” Wen Chao’s nasally voice sneered from the doorway as he came strutting in. His girlfriend of the week hanging off his arm. “Only friends sign casts, and Lan Wangji doesn’t have any.”

“Are we projecting onto others again?” Wei Wuxian’s voice announced his arrival, his brother and Nie Huaisang close behind him. “I thought we talked about that last week.” He added with a wink to Lan Wangji as he dropped his book bag on his own desk next to Lan Wangji’s.

Wen Chao huffed, blowing past them to get to his own desk purposely jostling Lan Wangji’s cast in the process. He tried not to grimace as he readjusted his leg. He was surprised to find Wei Wuxian sliding his desk chair over for him.

“What, we both know I’m going to have it taken from me in like thirty minutes anyway,” Wei Wuxian laughed with a wink. Lan Wangji let out a small sigh as he remembered his doctor's instructions. He carefully lifted his cast onto the chair Wei Wuxian offered. He watched the boy’s smile grow a bit brighter.

“How long do you have to keep it on?” Nie Huaisang questioned politely as he made his way to his desk on the other side of Wei Wuxian’s. For the sake of Nie Huaisang’s friendship with Wei Wuxian, he answered.

“Four weeks,” He stated simply. Four long weeks of people feeling the need to ask him if he needed help and asking what happened. As if having a broken leg wasn’t bad enough.

“Can I-”

“Huaisang, did you do the math homework last night?” Wei Wuxian questioned cutting off Nie Huaisang.  

“Math homework?” Nie Huaisang stuttered. “We had math homework? Wei Wuxian please help this poor soul!” He wailed, flopping into Wei Wuxian’s arms.

Lan Wangji found he didn’t have the heart to remind the two boys that cheating was forbidden. All he wanted to do was get the day over with so he could go back home. Lan Xichen had said the first day was going to be the worst.

“Lan Wangji, can I sign your cast?”

Lan Wangji sighed, not enough to where the person would catch it. It was going to be a long day.

“Can’t you see he’s in his preclass meditation?” Wei Wuxian’s voice fired back before Lan Wangji acknowledged the request.

“Like you give a shit,” Jiang Cheng snorted. He was sitting backwards in his desk chair, watching Nie Huaisang furiously scrawling out his math homework. “The only reason you know about it is so you can interrupt it yourself. Hey, how’d you get fourteen for number seven?” His brow furrowed as he shifted Wei Wuxian’s homework to look at it.  

As the rest of their classmates filtered in, Lan Wangji was almost thankful for Wei Wuxian’s annoyingly bright socialization. Everytime someone asked Lan Wangji if they could sign his cast, or what happened, Wei Wuxian was brightly cutting in.

“Lan Zhan have lunch with me,” Wei Wuxian whispered as the teacher came in. Lan Wangji glared at him. “No seriously, I’ve got a solution to one of your problems.”

“Wei Wuxian! You just lost your sitting rights!” The teacher barked.

“Already gave them up!” He replied cheerily. “Trust me.” He added with a wink to Lan Wangji.

Lan Wangji wasn’t sure what made him nod curtly. Maybe he had just used up the patience that was usually reserved for dealing with Wei Wuxian. He put the agreement out of his mind, focusing on the teacher. Still, he found lunch approached far too quickly.

When the lunch bell rang, he was surprised to find Wei Wuxian wordlessly handing him his crutches. Before he could even protest how he took his lunch box, Wei Wuxian was already clearing a pathway through the classroom by shifting desks. So, Lan Wangji bit his tongue and took the quick exit.

“Down here,” Wei Wuxian gestured, pausing to wait for Lan Wangji to take a short flight of stairs. He led the way around the corner, pulling open a door. Lan Wangji recognized it as the art room. “I’ve got permission to eat Lunch in here from the teacher if I want to work on projects.” He explained, probably to abate Lan Wangji’s question on whether or not they were allowed. “Sit,” He gestured to an open spot.

Thankfully the art room was a chaotic sea of open spaces, desks set up for viewing still lives. As a result, it was fairly easy for Lan Wangji to hobble his way to a chair. Wei Wuxian had slid a stool over moments within him sitting, handing him his lunch as he did. Lan Wangji carefully balanced it in his lap as he lifted his cast. He threw a curious glance at Wei Wuxian as he darted about the room, searching for something. He let out a cry of excitement as he found it.

“Alright,” He grinned, bouncing over. Lan Wangji eyed the tub of permanent markers in his grasp. “I figured the reason you don’t want everyone signing your cast is because it can look messy.” He started as he popped open the tub of markers. “But people are going to keep asking as long as it’s blank. So, I figured if I do a large drawing over your cast they’ll leave you alone.” He grinned brightly. “I promise it’ll be appropriate.” He added holding up a three finger salute in oath.

Lan Wangji sighed, he supposed trying something would be better than the constant questions. He didn’t hate Wei Wuxian’s artwork either, at least when it was on a proper canvas and not his school desk. He nodded, gaining an even brighter smile that made Lan Wangji’s heart skip.

“Go ahead and eat,” Wei Wuxian hummed as he knelt down by Lan Wangji’s cast, his eyes scanning over the surface. He reached into the tub with one hand, the other coming up to rub his nose.

Lan Wangji carefully started his lunch, offering Wei Wuxian a dumpling when he got to them. He let out a hum of thanks as he shoved it in his mouth, not even pausing in his work. It was hard to see what he was doing upside down, but he recognized the clouds from his family’s seal.

“All done,” Wei Wuxian grinned. “Just in time too!” He laughed looking at the clock. He pulled out his phone, snapping a few photos and handing it off to Lan Wangji.  

It was a landscape, of sorts. The upper part of the cast was covered in the distinctive Lan Clouds. A large magnolia tree filled the space around the ankle, the branches curving out and around the side. Nestled in the roots of the tree was a rabbit, a few more scattered out throughout the grass Wei Wuxian had filled the foot of the cast with. Lan Wangji found a small smile turning the corners of his mouth.

“I’ll take that as a sign you like it,” Wei Wuxian laughed, taking his phone back. He leaned over to pick up the tub of markers, moving to cap the last one he had open. Lan Wangji reached up to stop him. “What is it?”

“Sign it,” Lan Wangji replied. He watched a bright smile break across Wei Wuxian’s face. He rubbed his nose with the end of the marker as he looked at the cast to find an unobtrusive spot to sign.  He found a small space between the clouds, on the inner side of his knee.

“Now, I don’t want to find you selling this in thirty years now that I’ve signed it,” Wei Wuxian teased.

“Mn,” Lan Wangji nodded. When Wei Wuxian’s back turned to put the makers back, his fingers ran across the signature. A small smile forming on his face.

“Now, let's see if this crazy plan of mine worked.” Wei Wuxian winked, handing Lan Wangji his crutches.

He didn’t have the luck to be the first one back in the classroom, but Wei Wuxian darted in front of him to clear a path again. He settled back into his desk, propping his foot up on a stool that had been produced during the break. Wei Wuxian reclaiming his chair.

“Now I get why you didn’t want anyone to sign it!” Nie Huaisang loudly exclaimed as he saw Lan Wangji’s cast. He heard a roll of similar murmurs throughout the other classmates. He shifted slightly under the attention. “Wuxian, how come you never offered to draw all over my cast?”

“First off, we were nine,” Wei Wuxian snorted in reply. “Secondly, you had everyone's signatures all over it! There was nothing left for me to work with. Lan Zhan on the other hand,” Wei Wuxian winked. “Will and patience of a saint. Giving me a beautifully unmarked canvas.”

Lan Wangji nodded, feeling his ears flush at the comment. He wasn’t fond of the attention as his classmates gathered around to look at it, but at least they weren’t asking any questions. The bell sounded and everyone shuffled to their seats. Wei Wuxian gave Lan Wangji a wink as he settled into his.

“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji called softly. Wei Wuxian looked over with a raised eyebrow. “I have to get a new cast next week. Would you be willing?”

“I’d love to,” Wei Wuxian beamed at him.

Lan Wangji nodded, pressing his lips together as he turned his attention to the teacher who had just entered. Perhaps the next four weeks wouldn’t be so terrible.

[comradesummers]

3, 17, 27?

Hi, thank you for asking!

Top 5 underrated TV shows

Idk what really qualifies as underrated, but I’ll try my best.

1. Legends of Tomorrow

Like, outside of the cult following, people don’t give it credit for being one of the most creative and batshit crazy shows on TV. I think what really gets missed in the conversation about Legends, even when the show is brought up, is that it’s not just a weird, kooky show. I genuinely believe LoT is doing something that no other show on TV is doing rn. Like it may be silly, and not take itself too seriously, but it’s actually super creative, it tries new things, it takes risks that shows that take themselves more seriously don’t have the luxury of taking. It’s out there doing something genuinely different from the regular serialized drama format that’s overtaking television, and that’s unique and important and we should appreciate it more.  

2. Every show for or about women that’s ever been referred to as a “guilty pleasure” by men, including but not limited to: BtVS, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Jane the Virgin, Sex and the City (I haven’t even seen it, but I know that it changed television as we know it, and men still dismiss it as meaningless fluff), Gilmore Girls, and too many other shows to list here. All of them are underrated by assholes who think they’re too good for girl things.

3. Blackadder

Y’know, the concept of something being underrated is super weird, because like the question becomes: underrated by who? I mean, if you’re in the know about British comedies or whatever, then of course you know that Blackadder is one of the funniest and most innovative shows ever. But with everyone else I’ve talked to in real life, I’ve had to explain that Mr. Bean and Dr. House dress up in period costumes, and hang out with different important historical figures in British history, and it’s really funny and great (except for maybe the first season).  

4. Don’t Trust the B in Apartment 23

And then on the other hand, I’m pretty sure a lot of people on Tumblr know what this show is, and know it’s hilarious, but I would still probably consider it underrated and pretty unknown outside of certain circles.

5. Sense8

Again, I’m not sure it’s underrated on Tumblr but more people need to see it, so I’m counting it. I like Sense8 for the same reason I like Legends: it took risks, and did things other shows weren’t doing, albeit on a much larger and more unruly budget, which is probably why it got cancelled. But it really was a great, if short lived show, and I wish it had gone on for longer.

Top 5 “deserved better” characters

1. Kendra Young

Yeah, so I think there are two reasons that Kendra’s death makes me so angry. The first being just how much potential was wasted with her death. Yeah, they made her do a goofy accent, but she was still a really interesting character. Her worldview was completely entrenched in that of the Council. She was raised by them, and had never rebelled like Giles had. She would have made an amazing contrast to Buffy and the gang, but I also think there’s a really great story there about her coming to terms with just how exploited by those assholes she had been. Also, her dynamic with Buffy was already fascinating, and I think they had really good chemistry (I ship it).

The other reason her death makes me so angry is that she is the most obvious example of the horrendous treatment of people of color on BtVS. It really is unacceptable how white that show is, and once the writers finally did create an interesting and powerful (if admittedly pretty stereotypical) woman of color, they killed her off after three episodes. Kendra deserved better just like every other non-white character on BtVS deserved better.

2. Meg Manning and Paker Lee

(Yeah, I’m cheating, it’s a tie.) So one of the main issues that I have with Veronica Mars is that there just aren’t that many women on the show. With the exception of Veronica herself, most of the main characters are men, and most of Veronica’s important relationships, be they romantic, familial, or platonic, are with men.

The female characters we do have either have very little screentime, in spite of their considerable awesomeness (Mac and Jackie). Or, in the case of Meg and Parker, are used and disposed of according to the needs of the plot, often to create drama in Veronica’s love life. Meg surviving the bus crash, only to be killed off once she’d given birth, basically because she was no longer relevant to the Duncan/Veronica story is super icky and gross. And Parker getting dismissed as nothing more than road bump in LoVe’s story by both the show and the fandom drives me a little crazy, especially considering how she was introduced to the show.

Also, while we’re at it, every single ‘feminist’ character in season 3 deserved better from Rob Thomas.

3. Tara Maclay

She deserved to live, and we the viewers deserved better than Bury Your Gays.

4. Martha Jones

I mean, Martha Jones deserved better from the fandom more than anything else. And I’m adding her to the list because I’m one of the many people who owes Martha and Freema Agyeman an apology. I was like 12 when I watched Doctor Who for the first time, and I totally bought into the racist sexist bullshit (she’s boring, why is she in love with the Doctor, etc.). To be fair, I also bought into a lot of sexist bullshit when it came to Rose, so I hated her too, but obviously Martha got the shorter end of the stick, because of racism, and she deserved so, so much better.

5. Donna Noble

Fuck the amnesia bullshit and erasing her character development. Why did they have to do this to her? What possible purpose did it serve? Why not just give her a reason to leave and go home like every other companion? Wtf was the point? Was it just so that the doctor would have manpain about it?

Nevermind, I think I just answered my own question.

Top 5 brotps

Ok, not including any relationships I view as purely familial (Dawn and Buffy, Giles and Buffy, Tara and Dawn, Holt and anybody, etc.). Friendships only.

1. Buffy and Willow

Buffy and Willow love each other so much, and they hurt each other a lot too. This relationship isn’t simple and sweet, it starts out that way, but it becomes difficult, and they both do things to one another that I don’t think either one of them ever fully forgives the other for. But even still, at their worst, they love each other so deeply and so completely. This relationship is at the core of the show, I think. It’s arguably the first relationship the show establishes, and the one it spends most time on. The ups and downs are painful, but they feel real (even when they involve things like bringing someone back from the dead without their consent or whatever). And through it all, they never stop loving each other. As flawed as it may be, I think it’s also one of the most complex, interesting, and important relationships between two women ever on television. And that’s worth celebrating.

2. Jane and Petra

So I’ve been on a bit of a Jane the Virgin kick lately, and I’ll be honest, I can’t decide if this is a brotp or an otp. But I love Petramos too, so let’s go with brotp.

In any case, these two were pretty much my endgame for the show. I really didn’t care who Jane ended up with (unless it was Petra, but I knew that wasn’t going to happen), and I got sick of her love triangle real quick (to be fair, I just really can’t stand love triangles, which is why I didn’t give the show a shot for a long time). As for Petra, I just really wanted her to have a healthy relationship with someone, and Jane seemed to be the only person who seemed interested in having a healthy relationship with her.

Plus their dynamic is just amazing and hilarious. My favorite scenes in the show are always when they’re on screen together. The way they grudgingly grow to care about and love each other is genuinely sweet and well developed. And I love how even when they do become friends, their basic moral divide never changes. They still disagree very strongly about certain things, but they love each other regardless. And btw, the scene where they say “I love you” to each other for the first time might be my favorite “I love you” scene ever, platonic or otherwise.

I just love them so much.

3. Gurl Group (Crazy Ex-Girlfriend)

This is another show about romance where I’m far more invested in the female friendship than I am in any of the romances, but to be fair, I think CxG kind of wants you to do that anyway.

Regardless, I love everyone in this Gurl Group, individually and together. And their individual relationships are already fascinating. Like, Rebecca and Valencia’s frienship is pure enemies to lovers friends bliss and I love it. Rebecca and Paula’s relationship is the heart of the show, and like Buffy and Willow, this relationship is often difficult and complicated, but the love is always there. And we never had enough scenes of Heather and Valencia interacting. Every scene where they were together was pure comedic gold. And the group together as a whole was just so powerful and amazing to behold.

4. Amy and Rosa

They do not have enough scenes together. This relationship deserves the same amount of care and development as Jake and Charles get. Melissa and Stephanie have great chemistry. And like, their characters are so different, so the contrast is always so funny. But they also love each other, and support each other, and it’s so much fun to watch. I need 10000% more Amy/Rosa content.

5. Buffy and Veronica

This one’s probably also cheating because it’s a crossover and all, but I’m just kind of obsessed with the idea of them meeting, sparks flying, enemies to lovers friends, the works. They would just have such a fantastic dynamic. Like, think of all the verbal sparring that we would be blessed with. Think of all the drama and angst of them coming to understand and respect each other. If there is one crossover that I would will into existence if I could, it would definitely be this one.

[greed-the-dorkalicious]

Actually, you know what? I’m gonna come right out and say it. The FMA fandom is blatantly arophobic, and I’m tired of it. No, maybe it’s not as bad as some other fandoms (particularly the one that starts with a V and ends in Oltron), but enough to piss me off. Let me explain why.

The FMA fandom is deeply entrenched in shipping as being the default. It’s generally assumed that if you’re not into pairing A, you must be into pairing B, and vice versa. I’ve even seen posts along the lines of “Why would anyone be into FMA if not for (insert pairing here)?”, which, while generally innocent jokes not meant to be taken 100% seriously, are still hurtful to aros (particularly those of us who are romance repulsed). 

Of the 14,332 FMA fics on AO3 as of writing this post, 4,813 of them are tagged as gen. If you filter out fics that are also tagged with M/F, M/M, F/F, multi, or other, that number drops to 3685. This means that of all the FMA fics currently on AO3, only about 25% are accessible to people not interested in romance- And that’s not even accounting for improperly tagged fics, or filtering out crossovers for those who aren’t interested in those either.

I pretty much never see aro headcanons (or any sort of aspec headcanon, for that matter) from anyone other than me, or other aros. When I talk about my aro headcanons, while they’re not always outright rejected, they’re not particularly enthusiastically welcomed either. Usually, the only followers of mine who reblog such posts are people who are already in some way aspec themselves, or have been at some point questioning aspec. My alloromantic, allosexual followers don’t like to acknowledge my identity.

Al, the only main character to not have a love interest from early on in FMA history (May didn’t start showing interest in Al until about halfway through the series, and most major pairings have been around since the 03 days) is often overlooked. Despite being a protagonist and the initial driving force of the plot, he’s rarely the center of fandom discussion or content. When he does appear, he’s often pushed into the role of wingman for other characters, or the focus is on his relationship with May- Despite the fact that in canon, he’s at best been shown to sort of ignore her romantic advances, and at worst been pretty uncomfortable with them. I am sincerely not trying to hate on May here, nor people who ship her with Al. I don’t think it’s necessarily wrong to ship them, and I do think May is a genuinely really cool and badass character aside from her relationship with Al. But am I really the only one made uncomfortable by how much people ship them, given the way she treats him in canon? She’s very pushy, often refers to him as “her” Alphonse, and has even gone so far as to get angry at him for “cheating” on her just by hanging out with a close friend who’s also a girl. I am not trying to demonize May, I really do like her, but... I mean, imagine if Al were a girl and May were a boy. Would this be remotely acceptable? No. By the way, there are currently 4261 fics on AO3 tagged with Alphonse Elric. This means that less than 30% of all FMA fics on AO3 feature Al, THE GODDAMN DEUTERAGONIST OF THE SERIES. If you only include gen fics, that number drops to 1,817, or a mere 12% of all FMA fics on AO3. That’s right, only about 12% of FMA fics on AO3 feature Al, one of the series protagonists, without including a romantic pairing. Sure, maybe people just don’t like Al- But I definitely find it suspicious that the main character who isn’t involved in a popular pairing is the one to get this treatment.

Many of my FMA mutuals (and I’m not going to name any specific names, because I’m not trying to single out any individual and I do genuinely love all my FMA mutuals and I believe they don’t mean any harm, and also because there’s just too many to list at this point) continue to reblog or even produce aphobic dogwhistles, such as posts that include lots of different LGBTQ+ identities but specifically and deliberately do not include aros and aces (or worse, posts that only talk about L, G, B, T specifically), posts that use aspec identities or issues as a punchline, or posts made by aphobic bloggers. A lot of FMA fans also seem to identify as “neutral on the discourse”, which... While I can see why they might think that’s the best way to avoid hurting anyone, it’s really not. Saying that you’re “neutral on the discourse” does not signify to aspecs that you mean us no harm. In fact, it usually makes us distrust you. Exclusionists have done a huge amount of harm to aspecs; They deliberately try to erase us, harass us, belittle us, and for those of us who do have some other LGBTQ+ identity (such as me, a bisexual aro), they make us feel extremely unwelcome in our own community and like we’re not LGBTQ+ “enough”. Saying that you’re “neutral” on the discourse is saying that you do not feel a need to condemn such behavior, or to extend a welcoming hand to your aspec siblings. In the wise words of They Might Be Giants, can’t shake the devil’s hand and say you’re only kidding. While I understand that many of you may be afraid of receiving hate for supporting aspecs... I mean, come on. Those of us who are aspec cannot choose to be “neutral” on our own existence- We have to either repress our own identities, or deal with the consequences. If an allo gets anon hate for supporting aspecs, they’re still not attacking you directly. If aspecs get anon hate, they’re saying they want us, specifically, gone. Are you really so afraid to take one or two hits that you’re willing to sit by and let us get mistreated?

Oh also, this is just talking about the FMA bloggers I’ve seen who are not blatantly aphobic. God only knows how many people I’ve blocked for outright posting shit about how much they hate aspecs, or trying to tell me that the discrimination, erasure, alienation, dehumanization, and harassment I face aren’t real. I’m only addressing the parts of the fandom at this point that try to pretend they’re not aphobic/arophobic. There are plenty of FMA fans who are very clearly, deliberately, and outwardly aphobic.

I realize this post may piss people off. It may make me sound whiny, or accusatory. But you know what? FMA means more to me than any other story. FMA is what got me through everything when I was a young teen struggling with feeling inhuman and alone for being aromantic (though I didn’t have a word for it at the time- I simply thought I was broken). I’ve poured my heart and soul into FMA-Facts since 2015, and been involved in the fandom since 2009. Isn’t it time I start getting something in return?

Why should I continue to lie down and let other members of a community that’s supposed to be my safe space just walk all over me? Why should I have to sit down and shut up and bite my tongue rather than be so demanding as to ask for basic respect? I’m tired of being treated like this. I’m tired of seeing my community get treated like this. I’m tired of remembering the misery I went through as a young aro in the FMA fandom who didn’t have a support system, and knowing that little has changed since then, and knowing that there are likely still aros in the FMA fandom going through what I did.

Stop silencing me. Stop perpetuating this shit. Start treating aros like human beings who are worth celebrating.

[tickletastic]

Poker Face

Rating: G/SFW

Warnings: N/A

Word Count: 1307

Fandom: 9-1-1

Ship: hints of Buck&Eddie, Athena&Bobby, and Maddie&Chimney

Summary: The station 118 crew, Athena and Maddie has a game night, except not everybody has a great poker face.

Notes: I hope you guys like this! I love this show but sadly there’ are no fics for it.

“I’m sick of poker, can’t we play something else?” Buck whined, putting his cards down on the table.

The 118 team had decided to have a game night, Maddie and Athena tagging along of course. They had played monopoly until Bobby had to stop Athena from flipping the board, and Hen had suggested poker. The only downside of that is that a certain pouty 26-year-old sucked at his poker face.

“Aww, c’mon Ev, don’t be a baby,” Maddie teased her younger brother. “Stop whining, you’ve gotta work on your poker face.”

“Nah, maybe Buck’s right, poker’s getting a little boring,” Hen began, smiling to herself when Buck’s pout went away, “I think I know a game that would be better in helping Buck improve his poker face.”

Buck groaned and his pout returned, Maddie gently poking him in the side, causing him to quickly push her hand away. That caught Chimney’s attention, but he quickly let it go.

“It’s called cheat,” Hen began to explain, removing the chips from the table and shuffling two decks of cards. “All you have to do is put one or more card face down on top of the first one in a circle, except it has to be the card directly above the last one put down. So if I put down a 2, Bobby would have to put down a 3, Athena, 4, and so on.”

“So why’s it called cheat?” Eddie questioned, placing his hand on Buck’s thigh.

“I was just getting to that part. So, you can’t pass, no matter what you have to put down the next card in the series, so even if you don’t have it, you have to cheat and put down a different card. If someone thinks you’re cheating, they can call cheat. If we check and you were cheating, you take the whole deck, if you weren’t, they take the whole deck.” Hen finished, having also dealt 7 small decks for each of the players.

“Sounds like fun, I’m in,” Athena smirked, knowing her poker face is the best of the bunch.

They started the game, starting with Maddie playing a 2 and going around the circle from Maddie, to Chimney, to Bobby, Athena, Hen, Diaz, and finally to Buck. When it finally came time for Buck to play an 8, he fumbled, looking through his cards until he finally played two.

“Two 8s.”

“Cheat,” Eddie said, turning his head to look at Buck.

“Seriously?” Buck groaned, rolling his eyes and grabbing the pile from the middle.

This is how the game continued to go, the circle would go around for a few rounds until Buck was low on cards, and someone would call cheat. After a couple games, Buck was getting obviously exasperated.

“I thought you would’ve grown out of being a sore loser,” Maddie joked, turning to her younger brother.

“You don’t grow out of wanting to be the best,” Buck commented, still shuffling through his cards to organize them. At this point Buck had almost an entire deck in his hands.

“Being a baby isn’t the only thing you haven’t grown out of,” Maddie spoke, reaching her hand up and poking Buck in his upper ribs.

“Hey!” Buck squeaked, dropping his cards on the floor.

“What was that?” Bobby inquired, looking towards Buck for an explanation to the sound. Buck quickly got up from his spot on the couch and climbed over the back, knowing what was yet to come if Maddie decided to spill his guts to the group.

“I believe that was a squeak,” Maddie began, an evil smile finding its way to her face, “You see, my little brother is super ticklish.”

“No way,” Chimney gawked, looking in Buck’s direction.

“Not true! Maddie just touched a scar. Only babies are- Hen, Chim, sit back down. Maddie is lying to you.” Buck’s mind was going miles a minute, he knew he could take on one of them if it came to it, but taking on both Hen and Chim? That wasn’t going to work out for him. His fight or flight kicked in and he turned around to run, until his ankle was grabbed and he slid to the floor with a light thud.

“Hey guys, you don’t have to do this. Maddie was just messing around, only kids are ticklish.” Buck spoke in an attempt to sound cool-headed, a smile on his face attempting to mask his nervousness.

“Then this part shouldn’t bother you,” Chim teased, pinning Buck’s arms above his head as Hen sat on his legs. Suddenly 20 fingers were touching his body and Buck was trying his very hardest to grit his teeth and ignore the sensations.

“Aww, c’mon Buck, you’re gonna have to break eventually,” Hen teased, her fingers tickling his tummy. Chim’s fingers were at work on Buck’s ribs. Despite his efforts and his gritted teeth, a huge smile was taking over Buck’s face.

“Aww, that’s cute, you’re like a little kid Buck,” Eddie teased, watching Hen and Chimney do their work on Buck.

Buck wanted so bad to tell his boyfriend to shut his mouth, but he knew that the dam would break if he opened his.

“Chim, there’s a spot on Buck’s top rib, closer to his back, get there,” Maddie encouraged.

Buck frantically shook his head, attempting to free his hands, and looking like an absolute deer caught in the headlights.

The reaction was immediate when Chimney touched the spot, and Buck instantly attempted to buck his attackers off of him, the smile on his face taking over.

“Nohohoho, cuhuhut it out!” Buck squealed, shaking his head left and right.

“Did he just squeal?” Bobby asked, looking towards Maddie.

“He most certainly did, and it’s not hard to get him to do it again.”

“Aww, who knew Mr. Alpha Male Buck giggles like a child? Not so tough anymore?” Hen teased, her fingers teasing Buck’s hips, causing his struggles to increase.

“Dohohont! Hehehen stahahap!” Buck screamed, desperately trying to get his hands free.

“Looks like it gets him pretty bad there Hen, I think you should stay there for a little, he deserves to suffer a little,” Chim spoke mischievously. “C’mon Maddie, give us the scoop, where’s he worst?”

“I’d say his thighs, his armpits and feet are pretty bad too,” Maddie disclosed, smiling at the scene.

“C’mon kid, we’ll let you decide which two to get, if you say none we’ll just have to choose for ourselves,” Chimney reasoned.

“Plehehease nohohone! Hahahave mercy,” Buck giggled, desperately wanting to curl up.

“Looks like we’re choosing Chim, I say thighs and feet,” Hen chuckled.

“Good idea.”

Suddenly Buck was sent into a ticklish hell as his feet and thighs were tickled, his arms were now free but all he did was attempt to curl his whole body, getting blocked by Hen and Chim’s bodies.

“WAHAIT! NOT FAIR! SHIHIHIHIT,” Buck belly laughed, his entire body shaking, he resorted to his last option, considering who he would get sympathy from on the couch. “EHEHEDDIE HEHEHELP! PLEHEHEASE!”

Eddie chuckled and walked over to his helpless boyfriend, standing over Chimney and Hen.

“Alright guys, I think Buck’s had enough now, his face is getting redder than our trucks,” Eddie shooed them away, lifting Buck up and walking him over to the couch.

“Ihihihi hahahate you guys,” Buck giggled into Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie tickled him up and down his sides for a few seconds eliciting a new round of laughter, “Ohoh mihihihi gohohosh.” Buck completely collapsed into Eddie’s chest, his body bouncing with soft giggles.

“So suffice to say, Buck, you definitely gotta work on your poker face.” Athena joked.

Buck shot up a weak thumbs up, everyone else in the room laughing.

Maybe it made Buck feel like less of an ‘alpha male’, but maybe he didn’t mind having no poker face.

[moonlightreal]

Winx Club season 8/21

In which we all do some DDR.

21 Dance Contest on Melody

More Musa/Riven stuff, strap in guys!  I swear, this season turned me from not caring about that ship to hating it with a fiery passion.  Come on relationship, redeem yourself already so I can go back to standing peacefully outside all fandom drama sources like I want to!

Alfea!  Grizelda is teaching “magical self defense class”  in the courtyard.  I like how we’re seeing all the teachers—except Avalon, I wonder what happened to him!  They’re doing magic shield practice and Knut and Kiko are shooting cannonballs with a catapult to be shielded against. I wonder if shields against a physical object and shields against a magic zap are a different spell.  But grizelda says the cannonballs ‘simulate a magic attack’ so maybe not.

Stella’s shield is a gold star.

Musa is up next, she practiced a lot but her phone rings just at the wrong time. Riven wants to go out for ice cream!  Musa does not sound enthused, like at all.

So they’re back together?  I don’t really remember them getting back together.  My guess is here’s what happened: the second-half writers were told that part of the plot in the first half was that Musa and Riven would get back together, and then the first-half writers… flubbed it.  It happens to us all, you get to the end of the story and realize you didn’t manage to do one of the things you were planning to do.

Or else this ice cream date is Riven’s attempt to actually get back together.  

  Because she’s paying attention to her phone she nearly gets beaned with a cannonball, and then Knut launches Kiko from the catapult, and then the star box appears to save us from the slapstick.

...Is this a glitch?  The box floats there silently and the Tecna says something about the world of music.  I think the dubbers forgot to put in the sound file!

I like that the minor fairies also gather around to hear the star box.  I wonder if some of them are hoping in their hearts that this time the box will say it’s someone else’s destiny to find the prime star.  We never see the minor fairies being jealous, but they must be, the Winx get to do everything and they’re singers too!

Bloom asks to be excused and Grizelda says the fate of the magic universe is indeed more important than their lesson.

So Musa texts Riven that they have to go save the universe again.  Flora says Musa should give him one more chance, “it’s just ice cream.”  Flora, I love you but quit pressuring Musa! -_-

Musa: ‘I don’t need him telling me his feelings unless he can show me!”  Uh, I agree with the sentiment Musa, but that’s what he did with the hologram projector and all that showed was that he’s a bonehead. But Musa perks up because she’ll get to see her dad.

Bloom is concerned about the Trix getting there ahead of them, but Stella says there’s no way the Trix could be there already and we cut to…

The Trix were there already!  Aerial zappy battle for the star, which is on top of one of these really cool giant rock spires that have the tops carved into treble clefs.  Love the geography!  I want to imagine who carved these things, I wonder how people know when they move into a realm what kind of magic it will have.  The girls’ home realms each have a certain flavor, while Magix isn’t associated with any particular kind of magic. Imagine being an explorer visiting new realms to discover their magic...

In the fight the prime star gets dislodged and its little hamster ball goes sailing off towards the city.  Everybody follow it!

Musa says, ‘it’s flying toward the Melody disco!”  wait, is that whole thing a disco?  The scales of things are sometimes confusing, I thought it was a whole city but maybe it’s just one building.

Cut to… a disco! Or some kind of… do nightclubs really look like that?  Colored lights, big speakers, several levels of dance floors, big screens. Very cool.  The partygoers do not look particularly traditionally Asian, they’re all colors and wearing big pants and hats and sweaters.  I think this is like, Asian punk clothing?  K-pop style? I don’t follow K-pop and I don’t go to night clubs, but if they looked like this I might.  

And there’s Galatea!  The art style has actually made her look older than she was, she’s wearing the same dress as when we saw her in the sovereign council, that super skinny dress with the ruffles up front. I feel like the very classical-music Galatea should look more uncomfortable at this not-classical club, she doesn’t fit aesthetically, but she’s having a grand time announcing the annual Melody disco competition.

The Winx come in, Musa says this is Melody’s biggest party and Galatea organizes it every year.  it’s like her pet project, I love it!  Galatea holds up the prize for the “dancing queen”, a crown with a treble clef on it, and the prime star landed inside.

Ok, it flew from outside and landed perfectly in the crown and Galatea’s holding it up and doesn’t notice?  Come on. ...was what I wrote when watching in Italian, but in English it’s even worse because Galatea did see it and she just says, ‘this crown and a special extra that just fell from above.”  So Galatea doesn’t recognize an important magical item or wonder where it came from or why… groan.

So Musa goes, “Hey, Galatea, old friend, we need that star and then you can go back to enjoying your contest!” and Galatea gives it to her--

Not.  That is not what happens.

Flora does suggest they just ask for the star but Musa says it won’t be that easy, “Princess Galatea takes this event very seriously.”

The Trix are here too.  Icy tries some magic to “bring down the house!” and it doesn’t work and all the punk kids glare at her.  She looks quite worried for just being glared at by a bunch of punk kids!

Galatea says very prissily, “Remember, the disco is protected against magic attacks, so no cheating please.”  I dunno if it’s just me but I’m seeing Galatea as, she acts all prissy but she’s like a stealth nerd who pretends to be all formal but secretly just has a ball going off on nerd stuff.  Or in this case, disco.  Maybe that’s just me reading what I want to see into the character ‘cause it’s such a fun image of her.

Anyway, we’ll just have to win the contest to get the prime star!

Bloom seems pretty happy about this, and Aisha says the star case mentioned harmony so winning a music contest would make sense as a way to get the star.

Stella says, ‘everybody, hold still!” and gets everyone dressed up. Gradient-colored outfits with neon edging.  Bloom comes off worst, the designers couldn’t bring themselves to go with blue so she’s in mostly a muddy purple and her hairstyle is not good.  Flora’s is similarly blah, Musa has cute banding across her top and I like her very ninties hair.  Tec is cute in green and Stella in yellow. Aisha’s turquoise with purple neon looks the best, and she says this might be the best outfit Stella’s ever put together.

Are these dolls?  I hope so.  I not-so-secretly want Winx dolls with glow in the dark elements, because I want them to be Moondreamers.  Cosmix totally granted my Winx-moondreamers wish, except for the glow in the dark stuff part!

Musa’s ready to dance but the others tell her to go see her dad while she can.  The others mention Aisha is a talented dancer, yay for them remembering that.  So Musa goes to visit her dad.

The Trix notice Musa’s leaving and Darcy wants to go after her to make sure she doesn’t “know something we don’t.”  Smart, Darcy!  Icy grabs her sister and says they have to win the crown.  But Darcy says, ‘You don’t need me, you have our secret weapon.”  What weapon?

  Icy and Stormy get their dance clothes on and they look awesome!  Way better than the Winx.  Icy’s hairdo is a bit much but other than that they rock.

We cut to Red Fountain.  Sky and Brandon are sparring.  Riven is brooding about Musa avoiding him.  Sky says he should try talking to her, but Riven says every time they talk they end up arguing.  Brandon suggests they argue because they have strong feelings.  Sky says, “Talk to musa face to face, show her your feelings.’  which is what Riven’s been trying to… sigh.

Back on Melody Stella offers to help explain the dance contest rules.  Galatea recognizes her by name so the girls totally could call on their friendship with Galatea to get the star.  it’s also cool that one royal recognizes another.

This dance contest is like DDR Twister, anywhere on the floor can light up and also spots in the air.  I cannot wait until this is a real thing in AR. It’s coming, people.  It’s coming.  

Stella eventually flubs it, she gets catapulted off the stage and lands in Bloom’s arms.  Galatea explains if a dancer misses even one step she’ll be eliminated

Icy vs Flora dance! People recognize Icy, Galatea does… and nobody calls the police to report public enemies on the loose and in the same room with the princess!  People cheer for Icy like she’s a normal contestant. Maybe they don’t realize she’s THAT Icy..?

Bloom says, “Icy’s not bad!” in both Italian and English.  Flora grins cutely the whole time and is pretty adorable, but she loses and gets carried off the stage in a bubble which pops, dropping her in Aisha’s arms.

I used to love DDR. I was terrible at it, but it’s fun.

Darcy is following Musa to her house.  Musa meets her dad!  Hugs!  Musa’s house is cool, it’s Asian-ish with like, lines of music along the roof..

Inside, screens, sliding doors, Asian style tea set.  Musa remembers her childhood with her parents, it’s really sweet.  Baby Musa has two pigtails. There’s a huge double-harp, it has part an upright normal harp and part a bench with harp strings over it and Matlin and Ho-boe played it together.  I wonder if that’s a real thing, it’s like the sofa of harps.  Hoe-bo calls it the “Harmony harp” and says even the stars come to listen.  It can only be played by two people whose hearts are in harmony, so hoe-bo hasn’t been able to play it since Matlin died.

Darcy: ‘What a sweet moment.  I’d better ruin it right away.”

pffft!  Darcy, I love you, never change.

Tecna vs Stormy dance!   Stormy says it’s time for the Trix to unleash their secret weapon, but Tecna isn’t worried.  She says the dance contest is kind of like a video game.  And it is, but you need physical strength and speed too.   If I were writing this I’d have Tecna say, “Anything where you can ‘level up,’ I can win!’

Stormy turns out to be “better than Icy… a lot better.”   Tec gets farther than Flora did and ends up in a perfect tie with Stormy.  Galatea chirps, “Double perfect!” and tec says ‘achievement unlocked” again. They go to a higher level that’s like breakdancing where you have to spin around on your back and stuff.   Eventually Stormy wins.

Galatea should not be so chipper about public enemy numbers one and three winning her contest.  She knows who the Trix are, she’s calling them by name…

Stella runs right up to icy, “wait-wait-wait, STORMY was your secret weapon?”

Stormy: ‘Five time dance witch champion.”

Icy: ‘She’s kind of a rising star in the world of dark dance competitions.”

Bloom: “Dark dance competitions?”

Aisha: “It’s a thing.  Unfortunately.”

Ok that was great.  and Aisha’s delivery of that last line was spot on.

Musa is eating ice cream with her dad, it’s sweet.  He asks why ice cream and guesses it’s about Riven.  Musa says, “It’s not about Riven.  It’s never about Riven actually.”  Hmm.

Darcy is lurking outside, she says ‘Musa’s making this too easy.  I’ll finish it with a single shot.” O_o

thankfully riven turns up to save the day.  They fight but Darcy can do all her illusion stuff and she wins without too much trouble, and puts a mind control spell on Riven.  She sounds just delighted at her new plaything.  Now she can cause even more havok!

Musa hears a noise outside and thinks it’s the Trix, but it’s Riven.  She invites him in, and she sounds… not drama-y.  She just apologizes for canceling their date and says they can have ice cream now.  Darcy gloats.

Next time: more dancing!  Riven and Musa!  Stormy wins the contest!  Gee, that’s a spoiler.

[aerialflight]

BTS fic recs (or: a continuation with less magic!aus but there still is some on this list)

It’s been around six months and I’m again sucked into the BTS fandom, mostly because of the BTS World album and game. Seriously, how they manage to spit out so many songs so fast is amazing. And you can thank my dad for getting me back into the fandom cause he is just as obsessed as I am about BTS, which I find hilarious and my mom long-suffering XD.

Anyway, so I’m recommending yet another list that has cumulated over the months, some recommended to me by @onceabluemoonwrites (thank you for the recs and continuing to spur my obsession) and those I stumbled upon and ended up loving. Hope you all enjoy and I apologize that there aren’t as many magic!aus in advance, but there still is some since it wouldn’t complete without it!

-

girls just want to have fun by fitzgarbage

Ship: Suga/J-Hope

“Namjoon told me you’d probably be haunting a corner. I didn’t know what he meant, but I think I get it now.” He’s breathing hard. “I knew you right away. You look really good, by the way.”

(suga is transgender, he's a she in this fic. suga is amazing and the background ships had me invested and oh man, this is one of those fics that steal your heart if you let it.)

Stars Lost in the Sea by smiles

Ship: Jin/Suga

2018 In a desperate attempt to overcome his writer's block, Kim Seokjin rents a cottage by the sea on a remote island in the southern part of Korea for the summer, intent on successfully completing a story.

1933 Min Yoongi spends his nights tending the lighthouse, providing a light on the horizon for lost sailors to navigate safely, all the while feeling lost by himself, a lightkeeper without a guiding light.

There are some people who are meant to cross paths, even if it means time itself must bend to accommodate them.

(editor!Jimin is high strung and gungho and this alone made me fall for this fic for giving me this. this story is the definition of ‘star-crossed lovers’, i was rooting for them so hard. bless.)

rumour has it (but maybe it'd be better to just ask me) by Curionenene 

Ship: Jimin/RM

"Tae! I think Kim Namjoon asked me out on a date?”

That, makes Taehyung look away from his phone for once. “The Kim Namjoon? Sex on walking stilts, Kim Namjoon?”

“No, Kim Namjoon who’s my cousin third removed. Of course, the Kim Namjoon, you walnut.”

“Walnuts are actually really good for brain development.” Taehyung says distractedly before he frowns. “Wait, Kim Namjoon is your cousin?”

-

(Or: Namjoon and Jimin like each other, Taehyung and Hoseok are great friends, Seokjin and Jungkook aren't as great, and Yoongi is paid far too little for this.

Oh, and there are rumours. Supposedly, Namjoon is a sex god. Everyone is saying it, so it must be true.

Spoilers: it's not.)

(you know those fics that has gloriously disasterous characters that makes you feel like you’re less of a mess than they are? this is it. this is your pick up fic. so pick it up please.)

jack i'm flying! by ameliabedelias  

(honestly though, this author has written some of the funniest bts fics i’ve ever read, definitely recommend)

Ship: Jin/Jimin

“Are they okay?” A concerned booze cruise attendant walks by. “They’re not gonna jump, are they?”

“Please, just ignore them,” Hoseok sighs, flopping into one of the deck lounge chairs as Seokjin and Jimin get into position. “They’ve been doing this for three years now. It's kind of their thing.”

//

Or, five times Seokjin and Jimin do the Titanic Pose™.

(this fic is proof that this is the most chaotic pairing i’ve ever seen the sheer chaos man i’m not kidding. this is gold. solid gold.)

you are so gorgeous it makes me so mad by ameliabedelias  

Ship: Jimin/RM

Park Jimin is Instagram famous. Or he was, until Kim Namjoon walked into one of his pictures and stole the spotlight. 

(same author as previously, i just had to people this fic is incredible. jimin is characterized so beautifully here. the title alone should make you want to read it.)

light at the end by fruitily

(you don’t know what you were missing in life until you read their fics)

Ship: Jin/Jungkook

death follows jungkook. death is crashing at his place and not paying rent. death is eating all of his cinnamon toast crunch.

(seokjin is not death. he’s just the guy who’s nice enough to take you to the last stop.)

(i cried tears of laughter enough to fill a lake. jin is a grim reaper. yes. you heard me right. and jungkook has to deal with it. its amazing.)

in all dishonesty by fruitily

Ship: Suga/V

while taehyung is trying to figure out whether or not min yoongi wants to stab him with a fountain pen, they find out they make an excellent team when it comes to board games.

(this gave me so many flashbacks to when i was a kid. they are perfect for each other and my brother laughed so much when i read him a few lines. because he is a cheating cheater who lies and is very impressed by this pair. you'll see what i mean.)

can't get it up without you by Curionenene

(i love their fics. LOVE)

Ship: Jin/Suga

“Actually,” Seokjin speaks up then, because it looks like Yoongi's friends are having a hard time believing him. “I think the most dramatic one was when we literally tried to migrate to escape each other, but our planes went down, and we both drifted to the same deserted island.”

Now even Taehyung looks incredulous. “You're kidding.”

“No. We ended up fucking just so we could hasten the process and go onto the next life. Because the mosquitos there? Worse than death.”

“Wait…” Jimin says slowly. “You mean you actually die?”

~*~

(Or: Yoongi and Seokjin are soulmates. They hate each other.)

(the summary should be enough incentive to be honest, but yeah, if you want to die laughing, please read this. p l e a s e.)

So Collapse, Fall. by Curionenene

Ship: Jungkook/V

“Mmm… but what was it that made you decide to come back?” Seokjin rephrases.

Taehyung glances at Jungkook, and deliberately, his lips twitch up into a smirk, eyes darkening just a little bit. “I’m a human after all. Foolish. Figuring out my intentions shouldn’t be rocket science.”

For a moment, the other three in the room just stare at him. Taehyung doesn’t let the stares unnerve him, only deciding to cock his head to one side, eyebrow raised as the silence drags on. And then finally it breaks when Jimin shakes his head before letting out a true blue giggle, “well. He’s interesting at least.”

-

(or: Jungkook is a god, Taehyung just wants to be his friend. They both end up as something more.)

(i actually usually don't get into this pairing (surprising since this pairing is actually the most popular on ao3), but the worldbuilding and magic pulled me in.)(laugh and point at me for finding another magic fantasy fic. i won't blame you.)(i love v's characterization in this. he's delightfully complicated and straightforward and manipulative in a good way? i know it sounds weird, but you'll know what i mean when you read it.)

you say witch like it's a bad thing by Curionenene

Ship: Suga/Jin

“It's still a lot of work, even if you have magic on your side.” Yoongi glances over at a jug filled with what looks like pieces of pineapple. And then, as both cat and witch stare at the jug, the pieces are suddenly no more, instead replaced entirely by liquid. “Heck. Magic is draining. I’m going to need a nap later.”

“Why do you think I start at 5 am and only open at 11?” Seokjin grumbles, before he sighs, “yeah, okay. I get your point. No tea then. But we gotta think of something to make with avocados.”

“Why the fuck are we doing avocados?” “Because I ordered avocados.”

“Oh. Ok. Let me rephrase that: why the fuck are we doing avocados?”

~*~

(Or: Seokjin is a witch, Yoongi is his familiar. 99% of their life is bickering like this. The other 1%? Well, you'll have to read and see won't you?)

(blue recommended this to me and i read the whole damn thing. and let me tell you, it wasn’t the magic (well, not just the magic since the worldbuilding makes me want to swoon) that made me stay. it was jin. and his goddamn puns. puns galore. puns everywhere. every shade of pun imaginable, it’s all here. suffer with me along with yoongi. it is glorious.)

something tells me we'll be alright by czar (cmajorchords)

Ship: RM/V

“You’re absolutely right. This is a childish, petty feud, and I’m sure Kim Namjoon is an upstanding citizen and exceptional researcher. I’m sure he is a thousand times more of a professional than I am, and isn’t late to work all the time, and probably doesn’t occasionally sneak into the lab after hours so he can touch the pretty little vases with bare hands instead of using gloves –”

“Doesn’t what?”

“- it’s just that I don’t think I can work him. On, like, a moral level. Like an ethical one. An emotional one? Maybe even metaphysically?”

His supervisor sighs loudly. “So what’s the problem exactly?”

Taehyung scrambles for the first thing that comes to his mind. “Once, when we were at a mixer, he ate the last cranberry-chocolate chip muffin and didn’t even offer to split it.”

Six weeks in the desert at an archaeology dig sounds like everything Taehyung had ever dreamed of. Too bad Kim Namjoon's coming, too.

(this is a really cute fic and just, namjoon is this rambling mess and v is so humanely insecure and all of it is just, ugh. ugh i couldn't stop grinning.)

Fixing Christmas by jeoncrocs

Ship: Jungkook/RM

Namjoon is having the Worst Christmas Eve ever, and it's chiefly his own fault. A kind stranger turns it around.

(I COULDN’T STOP LAUGHING THIS WAS SO FUNNY XDD)

Hold Still by Oh_Hey_Tae

(i’ve recommended a fic from them before and there’s a reason for it. all their fics are just, yes.)

Ship: J-Hope/Jungkook

Jungkook’s going to say that he wasn’t scared, but he literally screamed and was about to throw down with a pan so he says instead, “How’d you get in, anyway?”

“Door was unlocked. Didn’t think anyone was home. Be glad I’m not an actual creep.”

And then this amazing thing happens.

It’s small and simple, quick as can be, but it leaves Jungkook stupefied, mind melting, like he’s lost on a wave.

Jung Hoseok winks at him.

Oh, no.

(Or: Jungkook falls in love easily, Hoseok doesn't open up easily, and somehow they manage to meet in the middle.)

(jungkook is precious here. precious. i want to wrap him up and hug him tight. and i really like how they portrayed hoseok here. and also, theres some representation and i connected to this. a lot.)

Words of Power by rkatz

Ship: Suga/J-Hope

All words have power. Some more than others. And none more than a name.

(behold, a magic!au soulmate fic with stellar worldbuilding. seriously, i am crying over how creative this is, i want to pick at this author’s mind and ask how they came up with this. thank you blue for recommending this!)

Law of the Jungle by MmeIrene

Ship: Jin/RM

“You’re an actor,” said Namjoon after a moment, and Seokjin nodded, looking pleased with their progress.

This was decidedly different, Namjoon thought, staring at Kim Seokjin’s bemused expression, than how it went in movies. Which, all things considered, was terribly ironic considering that Namjoon was being told he couldn’t study in his own library so that the aforementioned Kim Seokjin could film there with his movie crew.

Or, Namjoon is a frazzled grad student who just wants to finish his thesis, but somehow ends up getting cast as an extra in a movie instead.

(you know this is good when a character is accidentally in a movie. any student who wrote or is writing a thesis will understand namjoon’s dilemma on a spiritual level. he stole my heart in this fic, he really did. i don’t blame you one bit jin for falling for this boy.)