#like london is London u know its where u go for a day out or a weekend trip or smthn

[truthundressing]

idk how to explain this but smtimes i forget ppl actually live in london lmao

[santaasi]

raison d'être

pairing: james potter x shy!reader

summary: james potter never thought that the most terrible day of his life could give him a new reason for existing

warnings: muggle au, fluff, no use of y/n, english isn’t my first language

word count: 2.3k

a/n: i’m alive!! but i feel like with all my uni and graduating stuff i just lost inspiration. but i promise that very soon there will be more fics! love u all. have a good time readings my new work <з

JAMES POTTER HAS NEVER BEEN A LOSER. On the contrary, his life has always been like an endless lottery win. Ideal and loving parents, who provided him with everything he needed and supported him at every step. Friends who were always there for him even in the worst. A perfect career in sports that was only going uphill every day and promised to take James to new heights. James Potter was a golden boy who always seemed to be surrounded by a halo of luck. In all his twenties, he didn't know what failure and lose were. Troubles avoided him and it was something familiar to him. That's why when everything went wrong on one of the most important days of his life, James was taken aback.

It was one of hundreds of other summer days when the weather in London was pleasing with its sunshine and warmth. And that was the day James Potter overslept for the first time in his life. And it would be fine if he was late for training or a regular meeting about plans for the week, but… James Potter overslept and was late for a meeting with their future sponsors, who would decide the fate of the team and its entry into a more perspective professional league.

But apparently this was not enough for fate (if it ever existed). The fate decided to mock James more by taking all his luck and replacing it with failure. Because as soon as he left the house and got into the car, it didn't start, although last night, when he returned from another get-together with Sirius and Remus at the bar, everything with his car was fine. He had to ride in a completely packed bus, breathing in sweat fumes and feeling someone's elbow dig into his lower ribs. By the time he got to the bus stop, the air in his lungs was starting to run out. And besides all that, James had to walk the long way to the sport base to protect his ass and buy coffee for everyone at the meeting, to pretend that this was what he had planned from the very beginning. It was Sirius's plan, which, to James' great surprise, sounded really good for the first time in what seemed like forever. But instead of going to the usual café on another street, James ran into a new coffee shop, which was right next to the sports base, which decently helped to shorten his time.

A bell rang over James's head as he entered a softly lit, bright space with a couple of tables and guests who were sitting here, working and drinking pleasantly smelling coffee. For a very recently opened place, the coffee shop probably really had a lot of popularity in the area. James covered the distance from the door to the cash desk in a couple of steps and opened a dialogue with Sirius, quickly rattling his order to the barista, whom he did not even deign to look up at.

"’m sorry, could you repeat the order more slowly? This is my first day and..." you whispered softly, biting your lip uncertainly, and James looked up. His gaze is full of anger, which made you swallow a lump in your throat.

You've never been good with people. Large crowds scared you, and even with your close friends you preferred to message rather than call. But when life shook you up and the deadlines for paying for college were already burning, you had to get over your fear and be interviewed at a new coffee shop near your house, where an employee was urgently needed. A week ago, you were over the moon when you were accepted. The job didn't seem difficult and learning the basics of barista work was even interesting, and most importantly, the customers were all friendly. And you even have a hope that working with people won't be so bad. But as soon as you were faced with James Potter's eyes full of irritation, all hope for something good immediately disappeared, replaced by fear and nervousness.

"Or... or I can call another more... experienced specialist..." you began softly, stumbling through the words.

When James Potter entered the café, he was really annoyed because of the plans that didn't go the way he wanted. But as soon as his gaze meet your frightened doe eyes, his face immediately softened and all the emotions that he had experienced before faded into nothing but pure adoration.

You were beautiful. No. You were lovely. You looked like a small frightened deer that has met a hunter in the forest. Innocent. Sweet. Elegant. James Potter didn't know that there were perfect people in this world, but looking at you, he was convinced of it. His world seemed to stop for a second, concentrating only on you and on awkward lowering of your stunning eyes and how you bit your lip and how your thin fingers was nervously fidgeting with the bottom of your apron.

You cleared your throat and said something. James didn't hear it. He was consumed by you. He wanted to get to know you. Beautiful pictures were already playing in James's head, like movie stills of how he would ask you for your phone number and how you would smile and hand him a crumpled tissue, which he would, of course, keep all day as the apple of his eye. He has already imagined your date. How he takes you to one of those silent film festivals that were taking place in London right now. How you will chat for days on end without thinking about anything. How at the end of the evening he will take you home and slightly bending down, the distance between you will be reduced, and then…

As soon as you turned around to leave, James immediately fell out of his fantasies, quickly trying not to let you leave. He reached across the counter and grabbed your wrist, forcing you to pay attention to him again. But as soon as he realized how uncultivated he was by violating your boundaries, he immediately took his hand away, stuffing them into the pockets of his jeans, guiltily lowering his eyes to the floor. It was not typical for James Potter to blush, but he could feel the heat rising up his neck, scorching his cheeks.

"Um... sorry... I-I can repeat the order," James said nervously, and you noticing his change of mood and awkwardness relaxed a little, listening attentively to his order once again.

You quickly handed him the check and asked him to wait next to the pick-up counter, smiling sweetly, which made James's heart skip a beat. He nodded wordlessly and swallowed, still feeling the tingling in his hand where your fingers touched his skin.

Waiting for his order, James couldn't take his eyes off you. Everything in him screamed that he should come up and ask you out or ask for your number, as he had done hundreds of times.… But he couldn't... something was stopping him. And so when his name came off your lips (he didn't think that his own name uttered by someone could make him almost faint) and you handed him a bag with his order, all he could do was whisper a quiet "thank you" and leave the coffee shop without even turning around.

He spent the rest of the day as if in a dream. James was sitting in a meeting trying to concentrate on the important things, but all he could think about was your smile, which made his heart skip a beat. At practice, James was also distracted, as if hearing your sonorous but soft voice everywhere, the memory of which made his body goosebumps.

James Potter spent the whole day in a daze until a bell rang above him and the door closed behind him with a thud. The cafe was empty, the chairs were raised on the tables and the one who completely confused his thoughts stood with her back to him, quietly humming some remotely familiar song playing on the radio. You slowly swayed your hips, moving backwards, mopping the white tile floor until your back hit James's hard chest. You suddenly screamed loudly and turned around, covering your mouth with hand in shock. James ran a nervous hand through his hair and frowned slightly.

"Sorry, I thought you were still working, I came in... to buy something to drink," James quickly rattled on one exhale, meeting your gaze.

You blinked quickly a couple of times, trying to move away from the shock that you experienced from an unexpected meeting with a visitor. In him, you immediately recognized the guy James, whom you first dubbed the last jerk that came to ruin your first working morning, and then you noticed how cute and sweet he was when a blu sh appeared on his cheeks and immediately melted away.

"No, no, we are still working... there were just no visitors and I decided to start cleaning early… But you can order... it's okay," you assured him, giving James a soft smile before turning around and standing behind the counter, putting the mop aside.

James looked at the menu carefully, and then at you. There was silence in the coffee shop for a couple of seconds, and you felt your cheeks start to burn from the piercing gaze of his coffee eyes. You slowly lowered your gaze, trying to hide a silly smile.

"What do you recommend?" clearing his throat, James asked without taking his eyes off you. He wanted to stay in your company as long as possible and get to know you better. At least for a little bit. "What's your favorite drink?"

"Hmm... I'm not a big fan of coffee," you thought, looking over your shoulder at the menu. "That's why I would recommend herbal tea with raspberries and mint..." you nodded, concentrating on the guy standing in front of you again and smiling. "Well, it's also my first day and I'm not sure I can make you a good coffee... so tea would be the safest option," you joked, biting the inside of your cheek.

James laughed hoarsely, throwing his head back and you shyly lowered your head, hiding the blush that became even brighter on your cheeks. James was the epitome of what the perfect man looked like in your fantasies. Slightly curly hair, warm brown eyes that when he smiled seemed to be able to warm the whole world and round glasses that brightened his face and gave him even more charm. Such a handsome guy must have had an equally beautiful girlfriend. You thought, but quickly pushed these thoughts away from you. He was just a client, you shouldn't have worried about these issues.

"Then I'll have tea... yeah... I'll have tea with raspberries and mint," James said, calming down a little, adjusting the rim of his glasses on the bridge of his nose, which had slipped off.

You nodded and turned away, brewing James your favorite tea, making yourself one cup along the way. He was lost in thought again, watching you do your job carefully and with concentration. Your finger was slowly sprinkled with herbs, mixing them with mint leaves and dried raspberries, along the way he noticed how you brought the herbs to your nose, inhaling their fragrance and gently smiled to yourself. You looked more relaxed and peaceful than you did this morning when James scared you with his impetuous words.

"Herbal tea with raspberries and mint for James," you announced the order as if there was someone beside the two of you, and James smiled brightly at you.

His hand lingered on yours for a couple of seconds longer than necessary, and you felt your heart begin to beat faster in your chest. There was not enough air in your lungs, and it was only when James took the cup of tea from your hands that you were able to take a ragged breath that did not pass James by. The guy grinned, sipping a drink from his mug.

"Wow, this is really good! I like it," James said enthusiastically, looking right at you. His brown eyes seemed to look straight into your soul, and you swallowed nervously again, licking your lips, feeling how for a second his gaze dropped just below your eyes.

"Thank you..." James tilted his head slightly to the side, looking at you expectantly.

You said your full name softly, and James seemed to echo it, tasting it. You were quickly caught again, feeling your fluffy eyelashes tickle your cheeks. James shook and lowered his head, trying to hide his spreading grin. Apparently, he was not the only one in this cafe who was fascinated by his interlocutor.

"Well, thank you for the delicious tea. See you tomorrow, love," he winked at you before leaving the cafe.

The endearing name came out of James's mouth so easily that for a second you were taken aback, standing rooted to the spot behind the cash desk with your mouth open, like a fish jumping onto dry land. But at the last moment, a quick goodbye escaped your lips, more like the creak of a door, and the ringing of a bell announced James's departure.

Through the big window, you watched him walk slowly along the street lit by lanterns, smiling like a madman and slowly sipping his tea, and something jumped in your chest.

You put your hand to your chest, feeling your heart beating hard against your rib cage, and then wrapped both hands around your cheeks, which pleasantly cooled your heated skin. And the only thing you could think about, standing in an empty coffee shop, looking at the door through which James came out, was that the barista's job might not have been so bad. At least as long as James appears in front of you, it definitely won't be bad.

And in order to see him again tomorrow, maybe you'll switch shifts with Marlene.

But only 'maybe'.

thankx for reading <3

for the first time in month, I had so much fun writing these one shot. so I hope you enjoyed it too. you can always share your opinion in comments or my inbox :3

- your santi 🪐

[adascore]

Sweet Dream Was Over

pairings: lionesses x young!arsenal!reader / beth mead x arsenal!reader / vivianne miedema x arsenal!reader

warnings: swearing. reader acts hostile with viv after being knocked out of the nations league by the netherlands.

author's note: wrote this right after the match to deal with the heartbreak :(( but proud of all of them anyway!

masterlist

•••••••

December, 2023

''They scored a last-minute winner- we're out.'' The staff member read out loud, the scoresheet open on his phone.

The huddle, once filled with echoes of celebration, now hung heavy with disappointment. Their Olympic dreams were over, even after winning the match 6-0. Their win at Wembley had given them hope that they could do it, but the Dutch team pulled through, winning their fixture against Belgium 4-0.

One goal.

One goal is what it took for Y/N's world to fall apart.

Teammates exchanged glances, their eyes reflecting the shared sense of loss. The collective effort and triumphs all seemed to dissipate into the air, leaving behind a bitter taste of what could have been.

She could feel Lucy next to her falling to the ground, her older teammate groaning as she took in the news. Y/N patted her shoulder, a lame attempt at comfort.

Sarina started speaking, but she wasn't listening. Her head replayed each moment in their six matches where the young player could have made a difference, but didn't. Y/N knew deep inside that she was not solely to blame for their early exit, football is a team sport and they all had the carry the burden of ''what if”.

As the team dispersed, players walked toward the section where the dedicated fans had stood, expressing their gratitude for the unwavering support they had given them throughout their UWNL journey.

Y/N could feel an arm wrapping around her shoulders, suddenly feeling the warmth of another individual.

As she glanced aside, she smiled at who she found next to her. ''Hey, Beffy.'' The youngster mumbled.

''Hi, darling,'' The Arsenal star sounded just as dejected as she did, ''how you feeling?''

“Not good.” Y/N's usually monotone voice lacked its usual humor, a reflection of the heavy atmosphere.

The winger nodded in understanding. “I know, me too.” She pouted, sharing in the collective disappointment. ''At least we'll get a break next summer.''

''I don't want a break, I wanna play.'' Y/N immediately objected, her tone almost sounding like how a toddler would whine.

Beth remained quiet, knowing that nothing she would say could cure the current heartbreak going through her teammate at the moment. Sometimes, silence spoke louder than words.

In the midst of said silence, Beth gently squeezed Y/N's shoulder, offering a supportive presence.

The next day, the car ride back to North London wasn't the traditional gossip session it normally was. Beth carried the conversation, her younger housemate nodding or muttering a single word once in a while. As they drove through the familiar streets, Beth tried to lighten the mood with a subtle joke or two, attempting to elicit a smile from Y/N. The atmosphere in the car, however, remained heavy with the weight of the recent defeat.

The ringing of Beth's phone interrupted her thoughts on the upcoming Chelsea game, however, a soft smile appeared on her face once she saw who was calling her.

''It's Viv,'' She announced, briefly glancing at her teammate, ''hey, sweetheart.''

Y/N turned her head, attempting to admire the view, but the English weather was making it hard for her. She sighed loudly, the name of the Dutchwoman bringing her back to the group huddle of the day before.

''She's sitting next to me,'' Beth's words pulled her out of her trance, ''sure.''

The blonde tapped her arm, making Y/N turn back around. ''Hmm?'' She confusedly hummed.

''You wanna say something to Viv?'' Beth asked, sweetly.

The teenager simply shook her head, shifting in her seat so she could look out the window again.

The older one frowned at the action, expecting her to want to talk to Vivianne. ''Uh, Viv, she's sleeping, sorry.'' Beth lied, coming up with the quickest excuse she could find.

''Oh, that's okay, I'll see her soon.'' The Dutch striker answered, slight dejection audible in her voice.

They talked for a couple more minutes, but Y/N drowned their conversation out- daydreaming about the day she actually gets to play for Team GB, and winning the gold medal with them.

It was again Beth who took her out of her haze she was in. ''Hey, you okay?''

''Yeah, just tired. Don't feel like talking.'' It had been the longest sentence she had said all day.

Beth nodded understandingly, deciding not to push further, occasionally glancing at Y/N, who seemed lost in her own thoughts.

Eventually, they made it home and their chauffeur helped them with their suitcases.

As soon as they stepped into the house, Y/N swiftly retreated to her room without much interaction. Beth, sensing the weight of the recent disappointment, decided to give her space.

The house felt unusually quiet without the usual banter and laughter. Beth, while sympathizing with her need for solitude, couldn't shake off the somber atmosphere. She figured she would wait for her partner, who wouldn't arrive home for at least another hour.

Beth settled on the couch, flipping through the channels on the television absentmindedly. The sound of a key turning in the front door signaled Vivianne's arrival.

The Brit immediately got up, greeting her girlfriend with a warm embrace.

Vivianne reciprocated, sensing Beth's need for comfort. They held each other for a moment, finding solace in one another's arms.

They moved to the couch, catching up with one another and either offering each other consolation or congratulations. Vivianne noticed the lack of noise in their home- their teenage teammate usually filling the space up with whatever had happened to her that day, and if it wasn't her voice, it was the music from her speakers.

''Is Y/N taking a nap? She must have barely slept if she was already sleeping in the car.'' She asked Beth, frowning.

Her partner sighed at the question. ''Uh, no, she's just… she's having a hard time with it. She really thought we'd gone through to the final four,'' she explained, resulting in a sullen look on Vivianne's face, ''she was actually awake in the car, but she wasn't in the mood to talk.''

Vivianne's expression shifted to one of understanding, but also concern. “I get it, it's tough for her right now.”

''Maybe you can go check on her? We've been home for a while now, maybe that's helped.'' Beth suggested, believing the youngster to have come to terms with it by now, or at least more than in the car.

The striker gently knocked on Y/N's bedroom door, but there was no response. She cautiously pushed it open, finding Y/N laying sideways on her bed, scrolling on her phone.

''Hey,” Vivianne spoke softly, ''can I come in?''

Y/N didn't take her eyes off of her phone, not a single acknowledgement. ''Don't feel like talking.''

''I understand, just wanted to check how you were doing.'' The Dutchwoman sighed.

''Hmm.''

It's like pulling teeth, Vivianne thought to herself.

She hesitated for a moment before deciding to sit on the edge of Y/N's bed. Her eyes stayed fixated on the teenager, hoping to find a sign of openness or willingness to share her feelings.

''Football is cruel. We all wanted to win, and have a chance to qualify. It hurts when it doesn't happen.'' Vivianne tried her best to convey understanding, her voice gentle. ''I wish all of us could go next year.''

It was quiet for a few seconds, the uneasy tension growing. ''Yeah, but we can't.'' Y/N responded, an uncharacteristic harsh tone in her voice.

Vivianne was taken aback by the sudden change, never having heard that tone come out of the girl's mouth. ''I get it, it hurts.''

''You already got to go to the Olympics. It's not fair.''

The older woman sighed at the frustration steaming off of her younger teammate. ''I know it doesn't feel fair, but you have to keep pushing forward. There will be more tournaments, more chances.''

''I wanted to go with Beth. She didn't get to go last time.'' Y/N wasn't directly answering to what Vivianne was telling her, still present in her own world of disappointment.

The older one could sense the resentment. ''Y/N, I get it, I really do. It's not the end, though. You'll have more opportunities, and you'll get to share those moments with Beth.'' She spoke softly.

''Who even says that? The next one is in 2028, Beth might not even play by then anymore.'' The teenager retorted.

''2028 is still a possibility. She has a lot more football left in her, and I'm sure you'll get to experience all of it together.''

Y/N rolled her eyes, dismissing Vivianne's attempt at reassurance. “Just save it. Your team already ruined our chances. Don't pretend like you care about my opportunities.”

“Come on, don-“

Y/N seemed stuck in her moment of frustration. It was hard to think about the future, when the present had become such a huge letdown. ''Viv, I mean this in the nicest way possible, but can you please leave? You're just making me more upset.''

It felt equal to being slapped in the face, in Vivianne's opinion. However, she nodded and gave Y/N's foot a little pat before quietly leaving the room.

Beth noticed Vivianne emerging from Y/N's room with a weary expression. “I think I made it worse.” Vivianne admitted, sitting next to Beth on the couch.

“Why? What did you say?” Beth asked, concerned.

“That it's tough, and that I wished that all of us could go. She just thinks it's really unfair that I already went to the Olympics, meanwhile she and you have never been.” Vivianne explained, her tone dejected.

Beth furrowed her brows, a mixture of frustration and empathy in her eyes. “She's not in the mood to listen, huh?”

Vivianne nodded, “Yeah, she's being a bit… resentful, I don't know.”

The Brit wrapped her arm around her partner, pulling her in as she caressed her arms. “Just give her a bit time. She'll come around. Losing hits her hard. I think it's been a bit much with the World Cup and the Champions League.”

Vivianne agreed. “Yeah, you're right.”

As dinner time approached, the Dutchie decided to prepare a meal, hoping it might lift the heavy atmosphere in the house. She opted for Y/N's favorite dish, a small attempt to lighten her mood. However, the teenager remained in her room, showing no interest in joining them.

Beth decided to bring the plate to the youngster's room, figuring she still wasn't ready to be in other people's presence.

A soft knock on Y/N's door preceded Beth's gentle voice, “Hey, I brought you some dinner.”

Y/N, still upset but hungry, mumbled an acknowledgment.

Beth smiled, and put the tray of food on her desk. “I thought you might be hungry,” she said, trying to break the tension. “It's your favorite.”

Y/N glanced at the food, her expression softening slightly. “Thanks, Beth.”

“Viv made it.” She revealed.

The younger one chuckled. “Yeah, I figured that out pretty quickly.”

“How come?”

“It looks and smells nice.”

“Hey!” Beth jokingly slapped her arm, offended. “You liked that omelet I made you a few weeks ago.”

“I was being polite, Beffy.” Y/N said, a small grin on her face.

The offended woman rolled her eyes. “Whatever, enjoy your nice-smelling food.”

Beth lingered by the doorway, wanting to see her younger companion eat the food with her own eyes.

“You know, Viv spent quite some time making sure it's perfect.“ She spoke up once she noticed Y/N just picking at the food.

Her gaze shifted from the plate to Beth, a hint of curiosity in her eyes. “That's very sweet. I'll thank her later.”

Beth smiled, appreciating the subtle shift in her youngster's demeanor. “I'm sure she'd like that. She put a lot of care into it.”

As Y/N began to eat, Beth hesitated before speaking again. “You know, it's okay to be upset about the game. We all are. But you don't have to take it out on her.”

The teenager looked up, meeting Beth's gaze. There was a moment of vulnerability in her eyes, a silent admission that the disappointment weighed heavier than she let on. “I know,” she whispered, “it's just too much at the moment.”

“I understand, lovey,” Beth stepped away from the door, walking over to Y/N, “we're here for you, okay? You can come talk to us when you feel ready.” She pinched her cheek, hoping her affection showed her genuineness.

Y/N couldn't help but crack a small smile. “I know, Beffy. Thanks.” She mumbled between bites, grateful for the comforting presence of her older teammate.

“You can come and put your plate in the dishwasher once you're done, and maybe apologize to someone…” Her eyebrow was raised.

The Arsenal prodigy chuckled, knowing exactly who Beth was referring to. “Yeah, I will.”

“She doesn't like when people are upset with her, especially you.” Beth admitted.

“I'm not upset with her. I just wasn't ready to be told that everything would be fine and that there would be more chances to go.”

Beth smiled at Y/N's words. “She cares about you a lot, you know? I understand it was a little too early- I'm also still upset. But she meant well, she hates it when you're sad. She wasn't trying to tell dismiss your feelings or anything, she just wants to be here for you.”

Y/N sighed, appreciating her perspective. “Yeah, I know. I'll talk to her later.”

“Good. Now, enjoy your meal, and take your time.” Beth said, leaving Y/N to her dinner and thoughts.

“Does she like it?” Vivianne asked as soon as her girlfriend walked back into the dining room, eager to know the answer.

Beth nodded. “She's eating from it, and said she would thank you later.”

Her partner smiled, a mixture of relief and satisfaction crossing her features. “I'm glad. It's hard seeing her upset.”

“She's still young. You know how these young players get when they lose.” Beth noted.

“Yeah, but still. She also deserves a chance to go to the Olympics, I'm sad for her.” Vivianne knew how much the teenager worked each day, one and off the pitch.

“I know, but we knew from the start that it was only gonna be one team.”

Vivianne nodded. “I just hope she'll understand that it's not about her abilities or efforts. Sometimes, it's just the way things go in this sport.”

Beth squeezed her hand in reassurance. “She knows deep down.”

The couple started their own dinner, taking their minds off the last couple of days and just focus on one another.

It was about two hours later that the Arsenal homegrown came out of her room to go put her plate in the dishwasher- most of that time was spend trying to find the right words to apologize to her Dutch housemate.

As she walked into the living room, she could see that the tv was running, but neither half of the pair was there. Y/N hesitated for a moment, debating whether to disappear into her room again. However, she resumed her walk to the kitchen, not wanting a dirty plate in her room.

In the kitchen, she was met with Vivianne, who had her back turned while being busy trying to make tea.

The teenager awkwardly moved to the dishwasher, and put her plate in, closing it afterwards. The noise startled her teammate.

Vivianne turned around to where Y/N was standing, her hand on her heart. ''Jezus, you scared me.'' She sighed, taking a deep breath to calm herself down.

''Sorry.'' Y/N nervously smiled.

The older woman simply shook her head. ''Don't worry, you just caught me off guard.'' She chuckled.

''Oh, okay.'' The youngster cringed internally at her tense answer. Vivianne offered a smile at the kid's obvious distress, but went back to focusing on her tea-making.

The kitchen atmosphere felt slightly awkward, although it might just have been all in the youngest's mind. Y/N cleared her throat, attempting to break the silence. “Uh, thanks for the food. It was really nice.”

Vivianne turned to face Y/N, her expression softening. “You're welcome. I'm glad you liked it.”

''Uhm, Viv,'' she started fiddling with her hands, ''I'm sorry for earlier. I was upset about the outcome of the matches, but I shouldn't have taken it out on you. You and your team really deserve to go to the Olympics. I'm really sorry.''

The Dutchwoman appreciated the apology, relieved Y/N recognized her behavior. ''Thank you for saying that. I understand it's a tough situation, and I would have had a hard time with it as well, so don't worry about it.'' She told her with a warm smile.

''Thanks, Viv.'' Y/N moved from where she was standing, approaching Vivianne and wrapping her arms around the striker's waist. ''And congratulations, by the way. I'm really happy for you. You worked really hard.''

Vivianne welcomed her hug, reciprocating with a gentle squeeze. ''Thank you, that means a lot to me.''

The tension from earlier had disappeared, and Y/N could feel all the anxiety from earlier, leaving her body.

''Oh, mijn meisjes!'' (''My girls!'') Beth broke the silence, running over and joining the embrace, relieved to see Y/N having followed up on her words. ''I'm so happy to see this. Only smiley faces!'' She exclaimed, her infectious enthusiasm spreading through the room.

''Beth, we were having a moment.'' Vivianne said in a monotone voice, but with a smile on her face.

The Brit jokingly rolled her eyes. ''I'm joining your moment.''

Y/N and Vivianne gave each other a glance before speaking. ''No!''

ideas are always welcome for this series!

[helen-with-an-a]

I was thinking a little piece for jflem where both her and her gf are in the Olympic village at the same time but for different sports - maybe they’re pretty fresh with each other too (u can pick which sport but I was thinking something niche like weightlifting or sailing - have fun with it!!)

Hiiii, so I was an artistic swimmer (aka Synchronised Swimming) growing up and that's a really niche sport so I chose that one hehe. Also this is my first time writing for Jessie but i think I might start writing for her properly. I liked the idea of a new relationship but I might make that into a fic of its own so I haven’t included it here. I hope you enjoy this one - I really liked writing it.

Meet Me at the Rings

Jessie Fleming x Reader

Description: Jessie and R reunite in the Village

Word Length: 1.5k

You cried the day you found out you were going to the Olympics again. It was technically your second time – you had gone to Tokyo, but you were counting this as your first proper time since you now had the crowds and the freedom to truly enjoy the competition.

You knew that your country had qualified for the Olympics some time ago now, but with the nature of all team sports, you didn’t know if you were going. You were an artistic swimmer. Some people called your sport easy, or pointless. But you knew what it had taken to haul your team into qualification. There were only 8 spaces on the full team, and 2 reserves. The nerves had been bubbling away since the qualification competition. You had swum in every routine since you made the national squad just before your 17th birthday, but you were well aware of how fickle sport could be. One bad performance, and you wouldn’t be on that plane to Paris. You were at home with Jessie when you got the phone call. The phone call. The one that told you, you had been selected to go to Paris. You could barely remember the conversation – too busy freaking out that you were to be an Olympian … again!

Not even thirty minutes after your phone call, Jessie’s phone buzzed. Her turn. She had confided in you a few weeks earlier that she was nervous about getting into the team. You knew her fears were unfounded – she was Captain for crying out loud. But you understood where she was coming from. It was the anticipation that made everyone nervous.

That night had been … eventful, to say the least. Tears were shed, excitement voiced, nerves expressed, and love shared. It was perfect. Even more perfect was knowing that this time, you were able to see Jessie and probably watch a few of her matches too.

It was far too warm in Paris. It was hot and sticky and sweaty in the bad way. The rooms didn’t have air con, and the tiny little handheld fan Jessie had gifted you before you left wasn’t helping much – although every time you used it, you remembered her little soft smile and wide brown eyes that graced her features when she handed it over. You had been teased mercilessly by your teammates. The blush that bloomed across your cheeks each time you thought of Jessie would have been embarrassing if you were bothered enough. Your coach had joked that you looked like a meerkat whenever someone in red walked past. You just couldn’t help yourself. It had been too many weeks since you last saw Jessie in person. Your training camp had been a month long; the first two weeks being in London and the second half being in Lyon. Facetimes and texts were not doing it for you. You needed to feel her again, you needed to have her arms around you, squeezing you just so and have her pepper kisses into your hair.

You were even more excited knowing that she was soon to be in the same location as you. Her group games had been in St-Etienne, and you had watched her matches religiously – ignoring the jeers from your friends whenever she was on screen. You had never been the biggest football fan, often favouring water sports rather than anything running related. But that had all changed the moment Jessie had entered your life. You were easily her greatest fan. Your off day was Sunday, which meant that more often than not, you were in the crowd, her name and number splashed across your back. But now that she was in Paris – you were shaking with anticipation. Not only of being reunited with her, but you were finally able to be in the crowd. And you hoped she was able to sneak away to watch you too.

Your competition hadn’t started yet, having it be scheduled for the 2nd week of the games. But you hoped she was able to sneak away. Your heart jumped at the thought. She had never been able to watch a full competition in person before. It seemed a little strange, you were at every home game (and a good few away games) yet she hadn’t been to yours. You had brought it up to her once – she reassured you that she watched every moment of the live stream, especially when it was your country’s performance. But your competitions were usually during the season, and often lasted a week or so that she just couldn’t take off from football. You knew this, and you completely understood – especially since she was the one that earned the most … far more than you ever would for your sport. When you first met her, you were training full time and worked two part time jobs to get by. When you eventually moved in with her, she had insisted you drop down to just one. She could see how much it was killing you – the early morning trainings, the late-night shifts, never having free time to relax. You knew with Jessie’s salary you didn’t have to work any extra jobs if you didn’t want to, but that felt wrong on so many levels that you never entertained the thought for more than a few seconds. But all the sacrifice was worth it. You were now in the Olympic village. Waiting for your girlfriend to join you. This is what you had dreamed about as a young girl.

Your phone buzzed,

My J ❤️🤍⚽️: I’ve just got to the village

My J ❤️🤍⚽️: Can you meet me by the rings in like 20 minutes?

My Baby 🩵💙🩵: OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

My Baby 🩵💙🩵: Ur here??????????

My Baby 🩵💙🩵: And yes I can meet u at the rings!!!!!

My Baby 🩵💙🩵: Already omw

The speed you leapt to your feet was comical. You were practically running out of the canteen towards the Olympic rings. You heard your friend’s laughter as you disappeared, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Jessie was here. Excitement bubbled up in your chest. You could already imagine her walking over, the grey team Canada jumper on, regardless of how hot it was outside. Her black joggers and white trainers. You could image the little pink blush on her cheeks fanning out over her freckles and her loose brown curls tucked behind her ears. You looked down at yourself quickly, double checking that you looked relatively presentable – although there wasn’t much you could actually do about it now. Walking past a window, you assessed your reflection. Hair? Fine. Outfit? Acceptable. Face? It’ll do. Why did you feel a little nervous? This was only Jessie. Jessie, your girlfriend. Jessie, the love of your life. Jessie, the girl you were head over heels for. Jessie, the person you hadn’t seen in more than a month.

Regardless of how in your head you were, you knew exactly when she was nearby. It was like a signal had gone off in your brain. You looked up, head whipping from side to side as you scanned the crowd.

There she was.

Dressed exactly as you imagined, down to the accreditation worn like a cross-body bag. You squealed, pushing yourself of the wall you had been leaning on and sprinting in her direction. You launched yourself at her. Arms around her waist and scooping her up so her feet were dangling in the air a little. It didn’t matter that you were in the middle of the Olympic Village, thousands of miles away from where you lived. You were finally home. You felt your heart lift, the pressure that had been baring down on you all week, all month really, was gone in a moment.

“Hi, baby,” she whispered, her head buried in your shoulder.

“Hey, J.” You felt the tears welling up. “I missed you so much,” you sniffled.

“I missed you too, my beautiful girl.” You leaned back slightly, using your hands to guide her face out of your neck and taking your time to let your eyes rake across her face. She looked a little more tanned than the last time you saw her. But beyond that, she looked exactly the same. Gorgeous and perfect and safe.

You saw her eyes flick down to your lips, a small smirk dancing on her face. You leaned in, pressing a kiss to her cheek. She frowned slightly, a crease forming between her eyebrows. You kissed the corner of her mouth this time, just slightly too far away from where she wanted you.

“Kiss me,” she whined, a demanding tone to her voice. You knew if you were at home she probably would have stomped her foot.

“So impatient,” you teased, although you were just as desperate to finally feel her lips on yours.

“Shut up,” she pulled you to her, effectively ending any more jokes on your end. She tasted like she always did. Heaven. Her lips were soft and a little chapped. You hummed softly, ignoring the fact that you were essentially making out in an incredibly public place.

You parted eventually, resting your forehead on hers.

“You smell like chlorine,” she smiled, her breath wispy in the best way.

“You taste like oranges,” you countered, pressing another swift kiss to her lips.

She sighed gently, wrapping her arms around your waist.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” you whispered.

“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else,” she whispered back.

I hope you enjoyed <3<3<3<3

[bobluvbot]

birthday blues

pairing: sirius black x f!reader  summary: first time godfather sirius goes shopping to find the perfect first birthday gift (jily + baby harry ♥���) wc: 5k a/n: me tryna heal canon trauma ❤️ because in my world everyone lives happily ever after !!! my lil celebration piece for hitting 200 followers! thank u all <3 not proofread, english is not my first language so plz be nice heheh

“What’s the store called again, sweets?”

even as a young kid, one of your biggest pet peeves is repeating yourself for more than four times. three is pushing it. your parents told you its a bad habit to take to adulthood because you’re bound to meet people who just don’t get what you’re saying the first or second time around. But one Wednesday morning, when you asked from upstairs where your favorite periwinkle socks were and your parents downstairs said something that the loud dishwasher and vacuum covered up, you asked them to repeat it again (still can’t hear), and again when you moved closer to the staircase down (barely heard any), then you heard your father’s heavy footsteps up, personally shoving in your waiting hand the said pair of socks.. only damp. “Honey, I said three times already, that they were still in the dryer,” your dad had huffed before heading back downstairs. That’s when you knew it was genetic. 

But, you love Sirius Black. It’s gotten to the point where in the honest, sensitive hours past midnight, while there was nothing much to do as you let sleep creep up from your tired limbs to your fluttering eyelids, but to watch peace settle on the raven-haired boy’s sharp features, ethereal and glowing like an angel even in the dark of the night; that you realize he may be the love of your life. It’s a scary thought, with fears of being too eager, too soon, too much—- so you tuck it in a little pocket and give it a nudge when you need a reminder of how big and true its growing with each second spent together. 

You love him, so you breathe out the snarky irritation away in slow heavy puffs and inhale peace, choosing to exercise patience because you know Sirius is nervous. 

“It’s Spintwitches Sporting Needs, love. ‘s right across Ollivanders if I’m not mistaken,” you say, taking his free hand in yours and rubbing small circles on his knuckles to calm some of his nerves down, while he drives through busy muggle London streets to park by the Leaky Cauldron. He throws you a soft smile and gives your hand a quick squeeze as thanks, grateful to the heavens that you’re here to keep him from going insane.

You know him enough that, while the day in question is not about him, or you, or your relationship, it meant a great deal to Sirius. 

He had one chance (even if you’d argue otherwise) to make things right, do things the right way the first time around with Harry. James knew this fact by heart, which is why he and Lily agreed in a heartbeat that Sirius should be little Harry’s godfather, as it was meant to be. He would do anything, go beyond means, hell, even against Merlin himself just to ensure the safety and happiness of his godson. 

No one, however, was expecting it to backfire and it caught you and Sirius off guard. Once the tears dried and elation diffused, the anxiety kicked in for Sirius, and in turn you. He knew what the opposite was, parents who robbed their own sons of happy childhoods and disowned him when he got brave enough to find happiness and protect it, he had lived it. And now that he has a chance to save an innocent soul from a similar fate, he was determined, but this fact scared him shitless.

He wanted everything to be perfect (who wouldn’t?) and gave everything he physically could to make James and Lily’s Harry’s life easy and happy. Seeing Sirius buy ‘How to Dad?’ books and pour over them at night or on his free time at work was undoubtedly an attractive and loving sight. In a span of a week, he knew which is the best formula to supplement with breastfeeding, toys to pick that stimulate early brain development, even clothes made with hypoallergenic materials that won’t irritate the sensitive newborn skin. It came to a point where James would ask him for advice when Lily’s at work, and Sirius would put on his trusty reading glasses and point at a specific passage of ‘How to Dad?’ that answers James’ question perfectly. 

Eventually, you did have to put your foot down when you found Sirius writing a howler to a baby food company when rumors started going around that their baby snack puffs (which Harry was obsessed with) had harmful chemicals in it. In typical Sirius fashion, he wasn’t convinced that easily. You’d bet that what pushed him off the howler letter route (and in turn protect the statute of wizarding secrecy) was seeing you spend lots of time in the kitchen to perfect making banana and strawberry baby snack puffs from scratch until the recall was over and the food was deemed safe to be consumed again by experts and Sirius himself. 

Hearing many iterations of how the newborn days and months go by so fast was difficult to believe at times, especially when you and Sirius were babysitting to let the exhausted parents get some sort of reprieve multiple times a month. It was almost always the same. Harry would sleep for four hours straight during the night, and almost hourly right after; and while you and sirius had gotten pretty good at dividing up the tasks like bottle feeding and nappy changes equally, the shrill cry of a hungry baby is difficult to ignore and sleep through. 

So despite of Sirius’s best efforts to crawl out of bed and tip-toe to the bassinet quietly not to wake your sleeping form, he gets sad but unsurprised to see you pad towards him and the baby, yawning soundlessly as you squeeze yourself between the soft armrest and Sirius’s side, head resting on his shoulder. It was his idea to get a spacious, soft recliner in the bedroom and it came in handy for situations like these, where getting back to bed once Harry sleeps is too risky as the boy would just wake up with the slightest movement, so the next best option was to try getting rest wherever you ended up in. The cries that once overpowered Sirius’s hushed whispers and cooing finally quiets down. A sigh of relief leaves both your lips, basking in the comfortable silence and bodies finding solace in each other’s warmth. 

You want to say so many things to your lovely boyfriend, things he just has to hear: that he’s doing such a great job, that you see him and all the extra steps he has to take to become and do better than what he was raised for, that you love him for every single bit of it— but the right words don’t come easy when sleep-deprived and exhausted at 4:25am in the morning. So you lift your lips up to meet his temple, the side of his mouth, then his lips; hoping it’d convey what words couldn’t at the moment. 

But time is an experienced thief. It was a Saturday afternoon in the middle of May and it was warm enough for you to whip out the frilly spring dresses that had been pushed to the back of your closet by the thick woolen coats from colder months. The boys had gone on a day trip to help Peter move into his first solo apartment, assembling furniture and stocking up on necessities to ensure he could survive on his own. Without the booming voices and bumbling energy of his father and godfather, little Harry had no choice but to match the calm and peaceful ambiance that you and Lily curated inside the Potter house. While it’s certainly different from what his everyday looks like (living with the likes of James), he seems to enjoy it. Gentle breeze from the windows Lily left open while she baked carry the smell of lemons and vanilla throughout the entire house, making it smell heavenly. You’d been sat on the floor by the dining table, surrounded by toy trains and colorful blocks, watching the ten-month-old munch on a toy graphorn adoringly. Recently, he’s been on a phase where he has to run anything he could get his hands on with his mouth. Some secret test or screening must be up there or something because that’s how Harry decides which toys are deserving of his attention for the day.

You’d picked up a toy set of magical creatures after work yesterday, and it won the almost toddler’s attention for the whole day. James had to snatch the toy niffler away from Harry’s grasp so he could say goodbye to his son and ask for a kiss. Safe to say there were no kisses exchanged because the little boy was too busy wailing and screaming at his father’s face. Lily had to create physical distance between her two boys so the younger one can calm down while the older got mopey. Sirius had to whisk his best friend away from the scene of the crime so that they can get on with the day, but not without leaving you a kiss. 

The said niffler had soon been replaced with the hippogriff, then now the graphorn, and it’s been sitting on your lap since. Harry suddenly pulls the toy graphorn out of his mouth with a resounding pop. You both share a second or two of shocked eye contact and silence, his bright green eyes wide with surprise, before triggering a belly flipping laughing fit. This child could shock himself with a sudden burp or an unexpected sound of hitting random things with a fork, and you’d laugh every single time like its the funniest cutest thing you’ve seen in your life. It’s likewise for the rest of the marauders. Being the first baby of the group had all the adults wrapped in his pudgy fingers and he has no idea. 

Harry’s eyes drop from your smiling face to the Niffler on your lap, and makes grabby hands. You almost, almost give in, but you decide to encourage him to go get it himself. Maybe today’s the day he starts to walk. You move to him a bit closer, probably a good seven baby steps in between. 

“You want the Niffler, bud? You have to go get it from me!” You make a show out of grabbing the toy from your lap multiple times, hoping it’d make sense to the little boy. 

He whines something sounding like your name and does more impatient grabby hands. But you weren’t giving up without a fight. “C’mon, Haz! You can do it,” you say enthusiastically. 

Harry did know how to stand and good thing you were both sat near the dining table chairs, so to alleviate some of your aunt guilt you tuck the niffler away and out of Harry’s reach, before helping him up to his feet and urging him to grab one of the chair legs for support. 

He stays upright, eyes still on the toy that you place again on your lap as you return to your original spot, and you clap with glee. “Great job, buddy! Okay, only a few steps to me and you’ll get the toy!”

Lily, curious to see the commotion happening on her kitchen floor, leans against the counter for a better view. Harry sees this and does the same thing, he looks at her pleadingly while making grabby hands and pointing to the niffler on your lap. You can tell the redhead’s fighting the mom urge to make her child’s life easier, but thank the heavens when she gives your same answer. She even moves to kneel beside you, waving to get her son’s attention and pointing at the niffler on your lap.

“C’mon, my sweet boy,” Lily says. “Mama knows you can do it!”

Motivated by frustration as his aunt and own mother won’t just hand him his goddamn toy, Harry whines angrily but makes a sideways step closer, death grip still on one of the chair legs. You and Lily squeal and clap in delight, urging the boy to do it again.

He makes a move for another step, but realizes that there’s no more legs to grab onto. Reluctantly, his right hand lets go and in turn faces you and Lily. This results in another round of applause, which serves like a drug to these little babies. 

An anxious expression fleetingly appears on his face as he looks to you both, but the encouragement and cooing seemed to scare those big feelings away. Determined, Harry makes an unsure step forward without support, which then makes both yours and Lily’s heartbeat jump. It all happened so quick, the fear of losing balance triggered Harry’s other leg catch him on impulse, then the same on the other leg, then the other. Harry’d made four successful steps on his own before his mom catches him in her embrace before he topples over to the floor.

You and Lily were a sobbing, exultant mess. Harry, clearly confused about the commotion, whines for the niffler while Lily kisses him all over his face. You hand it to his waiting palms like a trophy before ruffling his unruly hair.  An attempt for words has been made, but all that came from your mouth are garbled phrases about the miracle that just happened. Lily nods in agreement and you hug them both back. 

This ten-month old just walked. This is the same baby that kept you and Sirius up at night for his feedings. The same baby responsible for the drool and spit up marks on your shirts. The same baby that  laughs and babbles with you like he understands when you tell him random stories. The same baby that squeals in delight when you blow raspberries on his belly. 

It felt like he had just been born a few days ago, memories of changing hundreds of nappies and preparing bottles of milk still vivid in your mind. But it’s earth shattering to consider that he’s closer to being a one year old than to the little bundle handed to you by James in the hospital room. 

Time is unrelenting, stealing mundane moments behind your back and when you realize the loss, poof! The newborn you held in your arms is now a walking toddler. Soon, he’ll be the one talking your ears off, going to Hogwarts, driving a car.. You shiver at the thought. He was growing up so fast that blinking felt like cheating, afraid that you’ll miss a precious moment that you’ll never get back. 

His first birthday came in the same manner— too fast for both yours and Sirius’s liking, but the wistful feelings came with excitement as Harry being a toddler opened up lots more opportunities to play and discover the world around him. James and Lily had spent the whole month planning a big birthday bash to celebrate the kiddo’s life, inviting all their loved ones to share the special day with them. And with that, the pressure was on for Sirius, as the self-proclaimed best godfather to get the perfect first birthday gift.

It’s like the heavens knew it was a special day for you both that it made sure to put out the best shopping weather one could ever ask for—- not too warm or too cold. It was a Tuesday afternoon, which meant the adults were kept in workplaces and children sent to Hogwarts or in homeschooling, leaving Diagon Alley nearly deserted, minus the occasional stray shoppers entering and leaving shops here and there. Clad in color coordinated couples outfits (that was your thing recently, Sirius more than happy to oblige) and hand in hand, you begin the mission to locate Spintwitches Sporting Needs. 

Nostalgia always finds a way to seep into your bones whenever you find yourself in Diagon Alley. One blink and suddenly you’re ten again, both hands tucked in each parent’s as your mom pours over the list of school supplies you’ll need again for your first year at Hogwarts. You and Sirius see Ollivanders at a short distance and hear the entrance bell chime, the very same sound you heard when entering the shop for the first time, the shopkeeper taking one good look at you before immediately rummaging around the store, grabbing a specific box located on a random shelf four stories up. The look of confidence when he says it’s made just for you, a magical glow enveloping your tiny frame while opening the magenta box. That same magic guided you to a world where you truly belonged in, a castle that felt so much like home, and friends that soon became found family and lifelong partners. The thought of Harry soon experiencing these moments leaves a giddy feeling in your chest. 

The smoky sweet scent of freshly roasted chestnuts catches your attention and you discreetly look for the source of your favorite warm snack. This doesn’t go unnoticed by Sirius (hardly nothing ever does, even the things you wish he’d miss or forget), and he gives your hand a small tug. You try to be aloof as you return his waiting gaze, complete with a quirk of your eyebrow, to which he responds with an impish smirk towards your bad acting.

“You’re not fooling anyone with that look, sweets.” The amusement in his voice is palpable as he steers you away from the main walkway and towards the small chestnut stall tucked in an alleyway, almost hidden by the bigger shops surrounding it.

“But, the store’s right there, Siri,” you try to protest. He had been anxious and stressed out about this day in particular, you knew if you were in his shoes, you’d be beelining to the store as soon as you get off the car. But he just shakes his head like its the obvious choice and nods towards the cart. “Can’t have my girl hungry now.” 

After a failed attempt of trying to pay for the warm brown bag (you were no match for Sirius’s lithe, agile fingers in basically everything), you accept it with a sigh, giving yourself a few seconds to sulk before starting on the chestnuts. You weren’t the best at accepting things from other people just because, it always felt like you had to do something in return for them just to deserve it. Maybe that’s why the universe conspired to have you meet and fall for Sirius, who is a very enthusiastic giver, teaching you hard lessons on the daily.

As you begin the journey back to the shop, you carefully crack open one and hold it up to Sirius’s mouth, to which he happily obliged. “Mm, somehow chestnuts taste better when you handfeed me, dove. Do it again.”

You roll your eyes in response, but you find your fingers starting to peel another. “You’re lucky you’re good looking, Black,” you mutter to save some face, that you weren’t head over heels for this man and he to you. That’s a conversation to be had in another, less stressful day. 

The shop, painted electric blue and orange, wasn’t hard to miss. One step in and the welcoming aroma of broom polish, rubber, and smoky wood brings you right back to the Quidditch locker rooms; memories of frantically lacing up your boots a minute or two after James called you as backup for an injured beater, helping Marlene comb out the tail end to fix the broom alignment after practice, and getting pinned to the cool lockers during post-win celebratory makeout sessions with Sirius, replaying vividly in your head. 

It looked deceivingly small on the outside; aside from the expansive selection of different broomstick models, they had books and magazines about Quidditch strategies and featured famous matches, repair and maintenance kits for maintaining broomstick qualities, complete Quidditch gear for all shapes and sizes, and tiny practice snitches flying around the room. Squint and it’ll just be like how each Hogwarts common room would be decorated when there’s a big Quidditch match between houses or international ones in the world cup: streamers and accessories like horns and banners representing each team, posters of Chudley Cannons and Holyhead Harpies (in opposing corners to prevent unsolicited fights) accompanied by autographs of famous players and collectibles littering almost every surface of the walls. It was Quidditch dreamland. 

Still in awe admiring the displays as you both walk through aisles hand in hand, Sirius breaks the silence first. “What do you think Harry will play as in Quidditch?”

You hum in response and he continues, running his hands through the bat display they had for little kids.  “I bet he’d be a beater like me. You remember how that punk hit me straight on the face last week?” 

You nod in amusement. Sirius had played it cool as he gently laid Harry back in his playpen, still laughing and cooing, then as soon as little Harry turned his back on his uncle, Sirius ran to you for first aid and whined the whole time you were healing the already forming bruise. But not a few hours later, he’s bouncing the baby in his arms again as he gave him a tour of the backyard. 

“Yeah, those little fists definitely pack a punch.”

“How about you, love?”

Sifting through a year’s worth of memories, it was surprisingly easy to find your answer. “I think he’ll follow James’s footsteps and be a seeker.” 

Sirius’s pout becomes evident, making you giggle and tug on his arm in efforts to cheer him up. “Think about it. Ever since prongslet got those glasses, it’s harder to hide anything from him now because his eyes are so quick. Poor Crookshanks too, that cat can’t catch a break now when Haz wants to play because he tracks its movements.” 

Sirius lets out a soft chuckle and slings his arm around your shoulders to hold you closer. “Good point, good point,” he repeats, seemingly deep in thought as his fingers run up and down the small of your arm. “We shall see, whatever he decides to play as, or if he even plays at all, I’ll be proud of him.”

You look up to him as he absentmindedly stares at the Quidditch gear sets for little kids, a light, wistful smile on his handsome features. He might not say it out loud, but the love he has for his godson reverberates through his being, and its a warming sight to see. 

Before you confess your love for your boyfriend in the middle of a Quidditch store, you whisk him away and towards the toy broom display, the only thing you were both here for. Only the big bright signs directed you to the right place, which didn’t prepare you at all for the heart exploding sight.

You’re about to burst into tears seeing how cute and tiny the little toy brooms were, and how they came in complete with tiny versions of the headlights, seats, and bag compartments the usual adult broom comes with. Both you and Sirius stood with mouths agape for a solid minute as you took in the expansive display, before your lovely boyfriend proceeds to pick out the most expensive one with the most features on it from the batch.

Surprisingly, it was you who reminded him to grab a helmet before running off to purchase the toy broom, the giddiness and excitement spreading between the two of you. The cashier gives both of you a knowing look as you and Sirius both mellowed down from full giggles to bashful smiles, examines the broom to be purchased, and asks, “For your little one?”

Now, you were no stranger to conversations like these with former lovers in the past, and you could almost hear the typical response of denial that comes swiftly with the question. It used to hurt, even if you knew by heart that that person didn’t have the fifth date potential or that it just wouldn’t last. It’s that unexplainable feeling of shame and rejection when they’d realize that it won’t work with you before you would, or if they answer with a laugh, as if having a future with you is an appalling thought. You’ve gotten better with it throughout the years, but for some reason your skin crawls with the thought of Sirius saying the same things. Years of desensitization down the drain, you find yourself bearing your entire soul to the man beside you the entire relationship, and he can easily break you into two with his response. You cross your fingers that he won’t.

He was already looking when your gaze met his, a look of softness and tenderness from him so profound you wondered if you were deserving of it. The surge of butterflies in your belly was all consuming. 

Sirius shifts uneasily and shakes his head, you prepare for the worst. “For our nephew, not for our own child..,” he pauses, glancing back at you for a quick second. “Yet. But if all goes according to my sneaky plan, we might be back sooner than she thinks.”

The cashier chuckles at your stunned reaction as you shift your focus between him and your boyfriend who was both furiously blushing and actively avoiding your stare. Did you just get a marriage proposal? 

Taking advantage of your confusion, Sirius pays for everything including the gift wrapping, which you had previously argued about who was responsible paying (you won, not that that matters now). You let him tug your arm and guide you out of the store, saying a quick thank you to the amused cashier. The influx of butterflies were back, tickling your insides and spreading warmth in each crevice. Just seeing Sirius handle the rambunctious mini James with care and glee, makes it so easy for you to imagine a life with him, and eventually have a little bean that’s equal parts of you and him. You hope they’d get the best parts of both.

No one brings it up as you began your journey back to the car and you’re grateful. Gift bag swinging on your arm, you drag Sirius to go get ice cream to which he happily obliges. 

A gentle quiet settles on accomplished shoulders like a warm blanket as you settle in the car. Strawberry and vanilla fudge ice cream sticky sweet on each other’s lips as you exchange cones every once in a while. It would be enough to lull you to sleep, if not for Sirius’s deep breaths and sighs, the thundering of his heart that he tries to quell by discreetly scratching a small part of the steering wheel where his thumb usually lay. 

He breaks the silence first, an uneasy tone making his voice seem small. “Do you think he’ll like it, dove?”

“Yes, Siri. I know he’ll love it.” You try your best to enunciate the right words, but a conflicted expression marrs his handsome features, sending a twinge to your heart. 

It comes to you before he speaks. This was something that had been plaguing Sirius’s mind for a while, occupying his dreams and thoughts, embedding itself to his mind and causing unwarranted amounts of stress. You resist the urge to fill in the blanks for him because it has to come from him and him only. 

But after everything he’s been through, what seems easy for most sometimes is the hardest to muster. “Siri,” you pause, waiting until he looks up at you and you keep his gaze. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

His gray orbs still before the dam breaks. “I’m sorry, love.” He chokes. “If I’m being so difficult, irky, irritated, anxious, everything.”

Hot tears run down his cheeks and it’s a painful watch. wanting nothing but to wipe it off and tuck him in your embrace and promise him he won’t be hurt as long as you’re there, but you can’t. The best thing you could do for him is to let it all out and finally feel.

He stares ahead on the city road with fingers trembling on the wheel. “I’m just so scared. So scared. James and Lily have been amazing parents, I can’t say same thing for myself but I try my best. Sometimes I still feel like he deserves someone better to be his godfather,” he sobs. “I just love him so much. I want only the best for him. I just want him to be happy and healthy all the time.”

After a while, you say with a bittersweet tone. “You know we can’t promise that, Siri,” you sigh. “Storms will come and will do damage and hurt and things that we can’t undo,” you pause, sniffling as you take your right hand to guide him to face you again, vulnerable gray eyes meeting yours. “But you know what?”

You give him an assuring smile, speaking the truth. “He’s gonna be alright because little as he is right now, he is so loved and adored by so many people, so loved by his parents. And so loved by his godfather.”

It wasn’t said aloud, it doesn’t need to. Loud as it could be, Sirius knows what you’re about to say; that his ability to love despite of everything he’s been through, despite of his own family ruthlessly trying to rob him of the ability to do so. That’s the type of love that Sirius gives, a love that withstands rain and abandonment; a love that stays after a rough storm, offering a home always open to go to when times are rough and feelings are still hurt; a love that tells the truth even when its hardest to hear. 

You know all this as an easy fact because you’re at the receiving end. Even if you hadn’t heard it from his lips yet.

“Have I told you I love you?”

A watery smile spreads on your face as you shake your head. “No, but i feel it everyday.”

“I love you, Y/N.” It leaves his lips like breaths, naturally and easily. 

It’s the same thing for you, too. “I love you too, Siri.” 

And it ends with sticky kisses that taste of vanilla fudge and berries.

[holllandtrash]

london boy | lando norris (6 to 1) - smau

part of the lover x 6 to 1 series | lando norris x leclerc! reader

So I guess all the rumors are true You know I love a London boy 

takes place 3 months after part 12 of 6 to 1 vote for the next part here

ynleclerc added to their story

landonorris added to their story

ynleclerc 📍 London, England

liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc and 54,103 others

ynleclerc london night 1 + lando picking me up from the airport (merci to the person who captured him giving me a literal garden)

view all 508 comments

landonorris only the best for the best

ynleclerc i will expect flowers everytime now landonorris okay

givememclarens not a fan of the soft launch pics bestie everyone knows you're dating the least u could do is give us bf lando

liked by ynleclerc

charles_leclerc please return home in one piece

ynlelcerc no promises

lewishamilton my second home 🖤 let me know if you need recommendations

landonorris

liked by ynleclerc, arthur_leclerc and 314,484 others

tagged: ynleclerc

landonorris london rookie had to see all the sights today

ynleclerc you loved that double decker bus ride as much as i did landonorris i lost my bucket hat ynleclerc i told you not to wear it

charles_leclerc why aren't you sitting like a normal person

ynleclerc because i know how to have FUN charles

ynleclerc 📍London, England

liked by danielricciardo, riabish and 67,810 others

ynleclerc im sorry..the old y/n can't come to the phone right now

view all 315 comments

danielricciardo you know you're not just supposed to look at the phone booth right, you can actually go inside

ynleclerc leave me alone

charles_leclerc why are you wearing shorts in october

landonorris i asked the same thing ynleclerc its called fashion look it up

riabish cuuuute

ynleclerc can't wait to see you tomorrow ♡

ynleclerc added to their story

riabish added to their story

ynleclerc

liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell and 31,406 others

tagged: riabish

ynleclerc ria is a better tour guide than landon i said what i said

view all 830 comments

riabish love you♡

charles_leclerc landon

danielricciardo not the landon slander

mclaren landon?🤨

oscarpiastri i love my teammate, Landon Orris

landonorris my goodness

landonorris added to their story

ynleclerc added to their story

landonorris

liked by riabish, charles_leclerc and 478,309 others

tagged: ynleclerc

landonorris she cleans up nice for someone who didn't get out of bed until 4pm

view all 18,305 comments

ynleclerc i got ready faster than a red bull wins a race

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo and 5,607 others

mclaren but where's landon?

ynleclerc we are done with this joke oscarpiastri no we are not

thepaddockbulls never in my wildest dreams did i think i would ever see a leclerc make a joke about red bull winning

ynleclerc

liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell and 43,360 others

tagged: landonorris

ynleclerc day 6/6 🇬🇧 could this photo dump get any more british

landonorris there's no tea in any of those pictures

ynleclerc remind me to get some tmr before we leave

oscarpiastri where's landon?

ynleclerc OSCAR

nofornorris sad that her little london trip is ending i was living vicariously through her

sunnyseb petition for them to just move to london full time

landonorris added to their story

ynleclerc 📍home

liked by landonorris, mclaren and 89,205 others

tagged: landonorris

ynleclerc you know i love a london boy

view all 1,104 comments

landonorris im from bristol

ynleclerc not today you aren't

danielricciardo you kids grew up too fast

mclaren Well if there's ever an F1 race in London, we know who'll be the first to support it 😉😉

OscarPiastri thought you loved Landon Orris

landonorris mate shes gonna block you, i just watched her throw her phone across the airport

----- vote for the next part here

[melonsharks]

Tell us everything about the parent trap au immediately please please please

to give u an insanely quick rundown with a wip art i have:

aziraphale as elizabeth. wedding dress designer under his pen name A.Z. Fell. (hes an artist as confirmed in s2 and the whole "drawing on napkins" thing elizabeth would do appeals to me immensely)

crowley as nick. owns a vineyard. I NEED HIM TO OWN A VINEYARD SO BAD. shoutout to Old Vines on ao3 for changing me in a fundamental way. he makes wines and he tends to the vines and he is so passionate about it to an abusurdist degree. he yells at his vines when they arent growing right. you already knowwww.

when they meet for the first time, they don’t meet on a boat like in the movie, they actually meet at a wedding party :J crowley was a wine collector, just starting out. he loved offering aziraphale samplings of his most vintage collection out of impulse. (he likes seeing the way aziraphale savors them) (he’s besotted) Wants to own his own vineyard one day. aziraphale, on the other hand, has dreams of becoming a fashion designer of sorts, always drawing ideas on any scraps of paper he can find. his designs are very old fashioned, but thats like… part of the appeal. his work very much reflects who he is, and the people who flock to it understand that.

they enter this kind of… whirlwind relationship, they get married, and then eventually adopt two golden haired blue eyed baby boys. twins. :J warlock and adam.

they break things off because aziraphale leaves... alluding to their recent breakup in season two, the reason he left was because "we both clearly had very different ideas on where our lives were going. so. i packed up and left." (parallel s2 divorce 😋 they don’t know how to talk to each other) (aziraphale throws a book at his head after this argument, like the hairdryer in the movie LOL. it was pride and prejudice. crowley still has it.)

aziraphale leaves with adam. warlock is left with crowley. crowley eventually leaves London because he finds he cant stand being anywhere near Aziraphale (hes just irresistible in that way), and he goes to California where he finally fulfills his dream of owning a vineyard. a nice one on Napa, Northern California.

Aziraphale’s wedding dresses become more and more well known, Adam grows well-adjusted. Same kid you know from the show and book, natural born leader, a good head on his shoulders. (Aziraphale has no idea why Adam is like that, but he is so proud)

Crowley’s vineyard (The Garden Of Eden) grows and grows… Warlock is spoiled rotten, but he does love actually working at the vineyard with Crowley to and he and Crowley have a really good relationship…

Eventually the kids go to a summer camp together in London (i dont know if they . do this in the UK, but suspend your disbelief if you will) Adam meets The Them there, then meets Warlock after a nutty fencing thing, they kind of hate each other at first and the rest is history :J

side characters UM. LOL. idk……. i mean i kind of know but not really? theres just so many possibilities that make the rounds in my head. chessy could be anathema OR nina (ive had people suggest eric too?) and martin could be newt OR maggie (ive also had people suggest muriel????) gestures vaguely.

as for meredith…….erm…………🤷‍♂️ ive had everything under the sun suggested to me and i still……have no idea. LOL. gabriel, lucifer, shaX, FURFUR, THE WIFE FROM THE NON-SPOILER SPOILERS. I DONT KNOW. IT ALL FEELS WRONG. its hard to come up with this role in particular when these gay bitches literally only have eyes for each other. always. forever. u know. i think lucy is like. the classic answer. but idfk.

ask me about . more things if u want. this is consuming my every thought.

anyways the cover im working on for. for something:

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

Feb 15th

~*~

1. Hi! This is for fic finder. Its similar to "wide enough and wild" by impossibletruths. The difference is, in the fic that i want to find again is WWX is a sect leader of wen remnant. There are a fight between the wen remnant because of land and WWX has to resolbe it as sect leader. WWX and LWJ adopt Wen Yuan formally like they ask granny wen for permission to adopt Wen Yuan and there are some ceremony to solidify the adoption. LWJ get drunk and stole a goat (?). It involve a goat but i dont remember if it was LWJ or JWY who stole a goat. WQ has a student. Close to the end of story, WQ goes to Yunmeng with JWY and the title of sect healer goes to WQ's student. I think thats all i can remember. Thank you! @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

NOT FOUND stay, fury, your wrist wrapped in silk by spookykingdomstarlight (E, 228k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, YLLZ LWJ, LWJi loses his golden core, yiling wei sect, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Major Character Injury, Injury Recovery, Temporary Character Death, War Crimes, Wen Remnant, Wangxian Get a Happy Ending, Revenge, LWJ goes dark for a while, WWX has a hard time with the bad shit going on around him, JGS is a bastard, Protracted Sunshot Campaign, War is war and hell is hell and of the two war is a lot worse, temporary impotence, growing intimacy, LWJ and WWX and the Wen Remnant live in the Burial Mounds together, WWX travels with LWJ and stays at his side post-Sunshot, Spanish Translation)

FOUND! sounds like the epilogue chapter of A Narrow Bridge by FrameofMind, Jo Lasalle (Jo_Lasalle) (E, 700k, wangxian, time travel fix-it, slow burn, getting together, first time, pining, pining while fucking, burial mounds settlement days, angst w happy ending)… but that's a really short piece of that particular fic to remember so I have doubts ^^; the goat part sounds like way earlier tho, when they get a goat, if I remember well.

~*~

2. hello! I’m looking for a modern wangxian fic where wwx and lwj are high school (?) lovers but then lan qiren (who is also the director of the school I think) finds out about their relationship and sends lwj to the Lan school London. And then there’s a time skip and lwj ends up working at the school and the school system gets hacked so they engage the tech company that wwx started to fix the problem. And then they get back together - please help me!

FOUND? Tempo Rubato by Spodumene (E, 107k, WangXian, Modern AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Romance, Persuasion au, Separations, Mutual Pining, Depression, Miscommunication, Emotional Roller Coaster, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Reconciliation, Eventual Smut, Jane Austen Fusion, Underage Kissing) / Hello! I'm fairly certain that #2 on the most recent fic finder is in fact Tempo Rubato. I just finished doing a reread of that one and the details provided all line up :)

~*~

3. hello! i hope u guys can help me find this fic. wwx and lwj are camboys then one day, wwx watched lwj for the first time just before his stream. (i think lwj is the no. 1 in that site) lwj watched his stream, wwx gave him his address and lwj went to his house. i know that its in my bookmark but i cant really find it. thank you in advamce!

~*~

4. hi there are some fics that are continuously bouncing around in my head so some help in finding them would be very much appreciated and if my memory serves me correct all these stories were one shots

A) all I remember is that WY was a phoenix captured by the wens and LZ meets him during his capture and falls in love around this time, also not very sure if WY had healing powers or his tears turned to peals because he heals LZ and that LZ tells him to cry just because WY feels like crying

B) the story starts of with WY and LZ on a date arranged by all of their friends and other memories of it include NHS telling WY that LZ had made a separate group without him to warn them from ever repeating what they did WY also went out with LQY in (idk) high school and with WQ but they broke up because WQ had to focus on med school and didn't want to do Long distance and that WY seems to know that LZ is in love with him and LZ cries after telling WY that he's happy being his friend along with ending on the note where WY and LZ confirm that they are officially friends to every one else

C) this one revolves around WY being a sacrifice and LZ is guardian till his death but they fall in love I think WY was to be sacrificed on his 20 some birthday also the way the sacrifice was interpreted wrongly by the sects and in it WY and LZ also sleep together before WY is ultimately sacrificed but it was a happy ending that's all I remember I apologize if the descriptions are too vague but I read them a good while back and thank you so much for your help

4A)

FOUND! a thousand hills, no birds in flight | 千山鳥飛絕 by defractum (nyargles) (E, 26k, WangXian, Mythology, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon adjacent setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort)

NOT FOUND! Breathing Firestorm by ladyshadowdrake (M, 110k, wangxian, angst, fluff, captivity, creepy WRH, no non-con, dreamsharing, politics, people making the best decisions they can, epic length, mythical creature WWX, canon-typical violence, dark, happy ending)

4B)

FOUND! yeah theyre just bros thanks for asking by victortor (T, 10k, WangXian, Intimacy, Modern AU, Aromantic Character, Established Relationship, Communication)

4C)

FOUND! The Sacrifice's Last Guard by 0_Heta_0 (E, 24k, WangXian, Falling In Love, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending)

~*~

5. hi there! for the next fic finder — im pretty... sure... this is a jiang yanli-centric fic? but a lot of the POV was also madame yu. i remember that cangse sanren survived (this is not time charm). cssr, madame yu, and,, another woman who i forgot (possibly lwj's mother?) get into a relationship, and they raise the children together. im pretty sure jfm also dies alongside wcz (unless im mixing up two fics). either way, theres a scene where someone sneaks in the wives rm n mdme yu kicks their ass // (i'm the yzy/cssr/madame lan anon) i know for *sure* now that im mixing up two fics, but same ot3. it's not sami's sail away sweet sister. the character pov was yzy annd she was a lot more unsure about the whole thing bc she was painfully aware what she's like.

For the most recent fic finder #5 is absolutely Sail Away Sweet Sister. It's in Chapter 3, 2/3 of the way through. It may be conflated with another one, though, as that particular section is in Madame Lan POV (her name is Tang Lijuan). Sami tells stories in multi-POV though, so there are other sections from Yu Ziyuan's POV relating the incident.

~*~

6. Okay so, looking for a fic where lwj or wwx accidentally summon incubus/succubus wwx or lwj. (I can't remember who was the sex demon or who was the human but it is a wangxian fic)

So, the succubus needs food and it is, unsurprisingly, cum. As in they have to literally eat cum to survive. So the human lets the demon feed from him. The human is followed by this succubus/incubus everywhere he goes to including his university.

The human loves feeding the sex demon and even lets him feed in the uni bathroom during breaks.

Does a fic like this exist? Does it ring any bell?

~*~

7. Hi I'm looking for a fic in which Lan wangji and Lan Zichen got yin poisoning. And because Lan wangji in on the verge of death. Lan zichen decided to ask for Wei wuxian help on extracting yin energy but Lan Qiren prevented LAN zichen from fetching Wei wuxian because of his injury and decided the LAN Qiren himself will go and get Wei wuxian. And in this story Lan zichen and Jin gungyao will end up together jin gungyao was poisoned by his father. And wen Qing helps treat him thank you for the help @routel

FOUND? The Untamed: For the Love of Two Boys by YenGirl (Not rated, 181k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, JC/WQ, 3zun, Yin Metal poisoning, wangxian wedding, XiYao wedding, 3Zun wedding, Single minded LWJ, Caring WWX, Supportive lxc, Supportive LQR, Prickly JC, Sweet JYL, Good JZX, Badass WQ, Cinnamon roll WN, adorable a-yuan, Supportive NMJ, Redeemed JGY, Evil JGS, Supportive Madam Jin, Annoying JZN, Evil XY, Rescued SS, Jealous SS, Useless Sect Leader Yao, Supportive Lan Healer OC, Accupuncture, Golden Core Reveal, Yunmeng sibs reconciliation, Implied mpreg jokes, stygian tiger seal, Burial Grounds fight, Meng Shi's grave, Jiang Sect Ancestral Hall, Lan Sect Ancestral Hall, wedding nights, minor OCs,nMingshi & Calming Bell)

~*~

8. Hello I am looking for a fanfic where Wei Ying finds out that he still has family that’s alive on his fathers side. He travels with Lan Zhan and ayuan to meet them and finds out his father was from a rich merchant family but his father left them to become a cultivator. He meets his grandmother who has dementia and his family business ends up boycotting the Jins when they find out what they did to Weiying. I know I bookmarked this fanfic but I can’t seem to find it.

FOUND? Keep Holding On by abCEE (M, 316k, JC & WWX & JYL, wangxian, canon divergence, role reversal, YLLZ JYL, yunmeng sibling dynamics, good uncle LQR, sunshot campaign, PTSD, established relationship, angst w/ happy ending)

~*~

9. Hi I really loved the fic A Myriad of Blossoms!! It's one of my favs now! Thank you so much for suggesting that fic.

Next I was looking for two fics :

A) Where Wei Wuxian after being expelled from CR is also "expelled" from YMJ and he works as a spy for Madam Yu and later when she dies the spy organisation is taken up by Nie Huaisang.

B) Where Lan Wangji asks Wei Wuxian to give up the Yin Tiger Tally and as a result WWX loses his new Yin core all over again and is severely hurt and LWJ regrets.

Thank you again!! @yilinglaobunny

9A)

FOUND! 🔒 Pendulum by ShippersList (M, 69k, wangxian, graphic depicitions of violence, rape/non-con, underage, A/B/O, Canon Divergence, Non-Traditional A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Misunderstandings, Canon-Typical Violence, Spies & Secret Agents, Fake Character Death, Slow Burn, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, BAMF WWX, Attempted Sexual Assault, Canonical Character Death, Mutual Pining, Good JGY, Introspection, Self-Sacrificing WWX, Love Confessions, Protective LWJ, past child sexual abuse)

~*~

10. Hi! I was hoping to have some help finding a specific fic? It was really long, a zombie apocalypse au? Where WWX gives birth to A-Yuan and LWJ is the father and then they get separated? And there's a big cruise ship? I remember the title was something like Nowhere Man? And it was finished! But I can't find it anywhere! Appreciate any help in finding this fic, thank you!!! @ariel-nolikeshakespeare

FOUND? For #10 could it be that its this fic? nowhere man - Red (zuwujun) At least if you search on google "nowhere man zombie ao3" thats the first result and it is a wangxian fic from the summary snippet visible from google. Sadly its currently hidden for a challenge

~*~

11. Hi! I really appreciate the work you do. I'm looking for two fics: A) a deity!wwx au fic (not many tags beyond pairing, incomplete, hasnt been updated in a few years). Lwj meets night deity!wwx as a teen, befriends him, and during sunshot everyone thinks hes blessed by the sun god bc he has a branding iron he uses as a weapon. wwx turns himself mortal. B) The second is a cql post-canon fic: wwx sends lwj note hes in trouble from a night hunt. Family brings food to cave. Sex curse? Defeat Yao in lake. @classygreydove

11B)

FOUND? Fire in the Blood by Jo Lasalle (Jo_Lasalle) (M, 20k, wangxian, First Time, Post-Canon, Angst with a Happy Ending, hurt/comfort themes)

~*~

12. Hi! I'm looking for these two fics:

A) WWX is the boss at some company and wants to keep LWJ from leaving because he's such a good employee so he offers him to double his salary or whatever he wants, LWJ says he won't leave if WWX offers himself. It's a modern AU.

B) During his stay in cloud recesses, WWX overhears two guys planning on cursing a woman with a toy connected to her, WWX stops them and changes the curse towards himself. The issue is that LWY confiscates the toy. That's what I remember.

Thanks!

12A)

FOUND? What's Wrong With Secretary Lan? by silverclaw (T, 5k, wangxian, LXC/NMJ, Modern, Inspired By What's Wrong With Secretary Kim? (TV), JZX and WWX are best friends, LWJ is "going through a rebellious phase")

12B)

FOUND? 🔒 The Golden Cutsleeve by syrus_jones (E, 77k, WangXian, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, Humor, Aged-Up Character(s), WWX POV, WWX is a gremlin, Internally Screaming LWJ, No Sunshot Campaign, First Times, Accidental Sex, Masturbation, PWP, Porn with Feelings, WWX experimenting with things he shouldn’t like always, Happy Ending, Porn With Plot)

~*~

13. Hello— looking for a fic (au).

A) The Twin Jades go to Lotus Pier. Madam Yu makes WY stay out of the way (maybe even sleep outside?). LXC sees WY using talismans & is impressed. The next day he brings his brother & LWJ falls for WY:)

B) The twin jades are at Lotus Pier & MY makes WY sleep outside? But LWJ runs into him (and sees him using talisman:)

Thanks!!! @snowrose24

For number thirteen in the last item finder, I know that fic is an omega Wei Wuxian, but I can’t recall the title. Hope that helps? Definitely an alpha Lan Wangji.

~*~

14. Hello, I am not sure how this works 😅. I think I am supposed to write my request here. I am trying to find a WangXian fic. It is a modern au. Lan enterprises is hacked and Nei Mingjue send Wei Ying to help them and by the end of day Lan Wangji and Wei Ying are set for a date. In this fic Wei Ying is a CEO of a big security company I think. Also they decided that Wei Ying will be an intern to catch the hacker. @veeru19

FOUND? Wangji's Beautiful Stranger by xxxMiaHikarixxx (G, 47k, wangxian, WIP, Modern, Soulmates, older LWJ, younger WWX, LWJ is So Whipped, Not Jiang Family Friendly, A-Yuan and Jingyi are best boys)

~*~

15. Hi there! I'm looking for a fic that I sadly don't remember much about. The few things that stick in my mind are (1) Lan Wangji's father is alive, but they do not get along since his father left them, (2) Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian have a baby (can't remember if it's A-Yuan or an OC), and (3) there's some family event where Lan Qiren brings Lan Wangji's father and Lan Wangji (somewhat reluctantly) allows his father to feed the baby as a sign he's willing to try to start mending their relationship. Thanks for all the good work you do! @lucky-cat-13

~*~

16. Hi! This is for fic finder. I dont remember much, unfortunately. What i remember is WWX send a letter to other clan. Like, there should be someone who married in to wen remnants right? So he send letter to those family to ask if they want to take their wen family back or not. I think LWJ help him too. That is all i can remember. Thank you! @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

~*~

17. Hello! I'm looking for a fic where Lan Wangji is an emperor. Lan Xichen dies in the war against the Wen and none of the other clans provided support to the Lan. Wei Wuxian helps in the background, including saving the Dafan Wen. Lan Wangji demands Wei Wuxian as part of the treaty/alliance with with other clans post winning the war. Wei wuxian thinks he is a war prize/prisoner, but he is treated really well by the Gusu Lan for his efforts in the war.

It was WIP and I thought I had this bookmarked, but I lost it 😔

Thank you!!

FOUND! golden when the day met the night by glitteringmoonlight (Not rated, 95k, slow burn, sugar daddy LWJ, light, angst, fluff, developing relationship, eventual smut, WIP)

~*~

18. Hello again! Thanks as always for your help. Do you happen to remember that one fic where wwx has wildly overworked himself by taking in too many foster kids, and LWJ, his boyfriend, buys him a Fitbit to gently dom him into eating and sleeping enough? @balleyboley

I know number 18😭 I'll try to look for it. Wei ying wouldn't sleep or eat and didnt realize it, I hope someone finds it!

FOUND? underweight by sixstepsaway (E, 7k, WangXian, sex used as bribery lmao, Eating Disorders, Anxiety, full time dom!lwj, consensual control, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs)

~*~

19. Hi, So i'm looking for two fics a) pretty sure his one is a one shot but it's basically during the sunshot campain and wwx is putting souls to rest when one of them wants something for him. The soul is all flirty and so on and after some time they find out it's nhs and nmj's father. b) also during the sunshot campain, nmj sees wwx being sickly and is like I'll take you under my wing, he feeds him just takes care of him @thatperson0-0

19A)

FOUND! Win Some, Lose Some by nirejseki (G, 3k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Ghosts, Talkative Ghosts, Marriage Arrangements, NHS & LWJ friends agenda)

~*~

20. hii. this is for ficfinder

I haven't read this but the summary of the fic was smth like wei wuxian disappears and I think sometime later lan wangji finds a man named mo xuanyu, I think it's a modern au, but I might be wrong!

thank you!!!

NOT FOUND! 🔒 Where You Fell by Sweet_William (E, 303k, wangxian, 3zun, JC/NHS, JYL/JZX, Modern, Angst, Mutual Pining, Homeless AU, Getting Together, Slow Burn, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, accidental sugar daddy LWJ, Suicidal Thoughts, Self-Esteem Issues, Coffee Shops & Cafés, Autistic Character, WWX Has ADHD, Panic Attacks, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Sex Work, Implied/Referenced Substance Abuse, Eventual Happy Ending)

NOT FOUND! vintage youth by sami (E, 13k, WangXian, Modern AU, references to past LWJ/others, references to past WWX/WQ, Family, Sexual Tension, set in the early 90s, Background Xicheng)

FOUND! don't leave me waiting, don't leave me here by sassybluee (M, 13k, WangXian, WangYu, Modern: No Powers, Missing Persons, Sex Work, Lawyer LWJ, Ambiguous Relationships, Hopeful Ending, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, POV LWJ)

~*~

[darkchocolatedimples]

the tortured poets department (sponsored by my procrastination)

excuse my essays for each song the lyrics are so interesting to me so there’s like actual analyzation for each one.

fortnight - dex

that lingering resentment disguised by surface level friendship is that not literally him and sophie come on. “run into you sometimes, ask about the weather” the awkwardness!! “your wife waters flowers, i want to kill her” he was the #1 fitz hater for multiple reasons after all (although i think he was over it by the time keefe became prominent)

the tortured poets department - sophie

this is so keefe from her perspective come on “you’re in self sabatoge mode, throwing spikes down the road, but i’ve seen this episode and still love the show” “i chose this cyclone with you” “sometimes i wonder if you’re gonna screw this up with me. but you told [biana] that you’d kill yourself if i ever leave. and i had said that to [dex] about you so i felt seen. everyone we know understands why we’re meant to be.” also let’s be so real keefes drawing journals + goodbye letters, he’s giving tortured poet

my boy only breaks his favorite toys - fitz

guys he’s just a silly little boy with anger issues, and he’s MY silly little boy with anger issues stop hating him 😞 “the voices in his head called the rain to end our days of wild” “he saw forever so he smashed it up” he may have fucked up but it happens!!

down bad - dex

CUZ FUCK IT HE WAS IN LOVE!!! also if i may present to you: “i might just die it would make no difference” in the context that outside of sophie saw no purpose to his own life. he saw himself just as he is presented in the books: as her best friend and nothing more. so in losing that (blaming himself and his own feelings for it) what was left of him? who was left? sophie was also his ONLY friend. not to mention in the context of the fact that when he WAS presumed dead nobody cared, they still cared more about sophie.

so long, london - keefe

no not bc of london actually but because “and you say i abandoned the ship but i was going down with it, my white knuckle dying grip holding tight to your quiet resentment” is actually a direct reference to keefitz’ friendship falling apart as fitz got angrier and keefe got more closed off. “you swore that you loved me but where were the clues?” “im just mad as hell cause i loved this place” me when everglen is no longer keefes safehaven. nor anyone’s for that matter bc its haunted by alvars betrayal and alden’s mind break and fitz’ anger.

but daddy i love him - biana

“i just learned these people only raise you to cage you” “i just learned these people try and save you…cause they hate you” “dutiful daughter all my plans were laid…growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all.” i hate alden vacker. how do u manage to use and fuck up all ur kids by age 12 like wow. “i’ll tell you something about my good name: it’s mine alone to disgrace” she would 100% say this. she would also 100% say “im having his baby! no im not but you should see your faces.”

fresh out the slammer - keefe

sokeefe or keefitz take it as it comes. “in the shade of how he was feeling.” “as i said in my letters.” “my friends try, but i wouldn’t hear it…for just one glimpse of his smile” “swirled you into all of my poems” it’s so him it is truly.

florida!!! - keefe

THIS one’s about london! “well me and my ghosts, we had a hell of a time! yes i’m haunted but im feeling just fine” ethan and eleanor wright who?? “your home’s really only a town you’re just a guest in” candle shade/shores of solace type beat “i need to forget so take me to [london], i have some regrets i’ll bury them in [london]” “i don’t want to exist so take me to [london]” aw bae

guilty as sin? - dex

i don’t know how to explain but i just feel like this feeling of i shouldn’t be doing/feeling this the literal guilt and all these delusions and the sheer intensity of it all is just giving me dex. “this cage was once just fine, am i allowed to cry? i dream of cracking locks, throwing my life to the wolves or the ocean rocks” “i keep these longings locked in lowercase inside a vault” this must be the way he loves if he thinks so little of himself and doesn’t let himself have good things. “i choose you and me religiously” because at the end of the day when he makes a decision or chooses something or someone he puts his all into it.

who’s afraid of little old me - sophie

“you lured me and you hurt me and you taught me. you caged me then you called me crazy. i am what i am cuz you trained me.” all of it’s literally giving her growing into herself in stellarlune and making decisions on her own. SHE IS NOT A PAWN!!!

i can fix him (no really i can) - tam

idk its just giving him defending rayni with his life when everyone else including linh was like who tf is this girl.

loml - fitz

every sad pining song is fitz vacker to me. esp the refrences to the romance being dead but never buried... "still alive killing time at the cemetery, never quite buried...i'm your holy ghost" the way that sophie switched up on him in stellarlune (although i fully support her) didn't give him much time to recover. "are they second-hand embarrased that i can't get out of bed because something counterfiet's dead" give me heartbroken fitz!!! for once instead of angry fitz just give me tired, resigned fitz. "it was legendary, it was momentary, it was unecessary, should've let it stayed buried" is such a good summary of sophitz imo.

i can do it with a broken heart - linh

linh is so interesting to me as a parallel of fitz: meaning she, just like him, is always angry. however she masks it in smiles and kindness the way he never learned to, he just lashes out. this song feels like it’s talking about that mask: “i’m so depressed i act like it’s my birthday everyday” “i can read your mind ‘she’s having the time of her life’ …i can show you lies” “cause im miserable and nobody even knows” “i can hold my breath, i’ve been doing it since [i] left”

the smallest man who ever lived - keefe

it’s giving a letter to cassius/gisela/alvar. “and i don’t even want you back, i just want to know if rusting my sparkling summer was the goal. and i don’t miss what we had” “did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed?” “in 50 years will all this be declassified and you’ll confess why you did it, and i’ll say ‘good riddance’” “i would’ve died for your sins instead i just died inside. and you deserve prison but you won’t get time” “in plain sight you hid, but you are what you did. and i’ll forget you but i’ll never forgive.”

the alchemy - sophie

“cause the sign on your heart said it’s still reserved for me. honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?” aw sokeefe.

clara bow - biana

BIANA BEING COMPARED TO HER BROTHERS AND ALL THE VACKERS BEFORE THEM "the crown is stained but you're the real queen" "beauty is a beast that roars, down on all fours, demanding more...its hell on earth to be heavenly" i love her.

the black dog - fitz

bring back petty fitz!! i think the young girl not knowing the starting line could parallel with keefe not being able to understand things about telepathy that really connected fitz and sophie. i also think we could shift the angle and make it about alvars betrayal and how it sparked his angry trauma response. “you said i needed a brave man, then proceeded to play him until i believed it too.” “now i want to sell my house and set fire to all my clothes…even if i die screaming, and i hope you hear it.”

imgonnagetyouback - fitz

he is 100% this delusional. he's just like me. "you'll find that you were never not mine" "even if its handcuffed im leaving here with you." "told my friends i hate you but i love you just the same, pick your poison babe, i'm poison either way"

the albatross - keefe

“one bad seed kills the garden. one less temptress, one less dagger to sharpen.” “the devil that you know looks now more like an angel. i’m the life you chose, and all this terrible danger.” HE IS THE ALBATROSS. i can’t wait for the movie i want edits of him to this. ACTUALLY I WANT A LOT OF THINGS maybe I’ll make a separate post about that.

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus - keefe

you saw it coming. this song SCREAMS KEEFITZ. like- “you said some things that i can’t unabsorb…you needed me but you needed drugs more.” “changed plans and lovers and outfits and rules all to outrun my desertion of you.” “if you want to break my cold cold heart just say ‘i loved you the way that you were’” WHAT THE HECK DUDE IM SOBBING “back to the moment i crashed into you like so many wrecks do” that line solidified this as keefe’s pov for me. in conclusion. SOBBING.

how did it end - biana

i propose to you: not a relationship, but the vacker family falling apart and the way they became a huge subject of gossip in the lost cities. when alden’s mind broke, while fitz had turned to anger biana became depressed, and i think this song could relate to that as well. the whole part of “guess who we ran into at the shops” feels very much like conversations others would have about the vackers at the time and when alvar betrayed them. “soon they’ll go home to their [brothers], smug cause they know they can trust him.” and i think at the end of the day when all of it happened biana was just young and betrayed and lost, because she didn’t see it coming or understand why (who did?) “the deflation of our dreaming, leaving me bereft and reeling” “i can’t pretend like i understand, how did it end?”

so high school - biana

HER VIBES ALL THE WAY she’s so cute and lovely and i want this for her (and dex. specifically dex. not anyone else.)

i hate here - sophie

was leaning dex until “you see i was a debutant in another life but now i seem to be scared of going outside” but the whole idea of escapism applies to both of them. especially to sophie though when she lived with humans and was so alone because even her own family couldn’t understand her, and she canonically is a bookworm and probably found more comfort in those other lives than she ever could in her own. "I hate it here so I will go to secret gardens in my mind...i read about it in a book when I was a precious child" "ill get lost on purpose, this place made me feel worthless"

thanK you aIMee - tam

aimee 🤝🏽 the song parents. “everyone knows that my [sister] is a saintly woman. but she used to say she wished that you were dead.” “but when i count the scars there’s a moment of truth: that there wouldn’t be this if there hadn’t been you.” thank you song parents 🫶🏽

i look in people’s windows - fitz

i thought this song sounded so creepy till I actually listened to it and now the idea of like lowkey stalking someone just to see if they still care about you or have moved on is slightly making sense. "does it feel alright to not know me? i'm addicted to the if only." it's giving keefitz (when isn't it?)

the prophecy - dex

"let it once be me, who do i have to speak to about if they can redo the prophecy?" THIS JUST REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF THE BEGINNING OF STELLARLUNE WHEN HES LITERALLY MOURNING WHAT HASN'T EVEN HAPPENED TO HIS BROTHER YET i need more dex being the oldest sibling and shouldering that burden. the love-hate relationship with his siblings while simultaneously trying to make their quality of life so much better than what he had. also "a lesser woman would've lost hope, a greater woman wouldn't beg" is so him. he is so that middle.

cassandra - tam

"so they killed cassandra first cuz she feared the worst...do you believe me now?" "you can mark my words, i said it first. in a mourning warning, no one heard." tam when keefe joined the neverseen fr

peter - keefe

pls tell me you saw this one coming. "are you still a mindreader? a natural scene stealer, I've heard great things [fitz], but life was always easier on you than it was on me." "promises, oceans deep, but never to keep" "forgive me [fitz], my lost fearless leader...from when we were just kids. is it something I did?" i think I'm just in a constant state of mourning their friendship.

the bolter - keefe

obvious reasons but also "i can confirm she made a curious child, ever reviled by everyone but her own father." "hearts are hers for the breaking, there's escape in escaping." "she's got the best stories, you can be sure, as she was leaving, it feels like freedom."

robin - dex

had to do some research for this one but apparently its talking about preserving a child's innocence! for this reason it reminds me again of dex and his siblings because of the way he really wants to protect them from things that haven't happened yet (especially considering rex being talentless). "way to go tiger" definitely sounds like something he would say to them feeling all sentimental but then, knowing siblings, they'd probably grill him about why he's being nice 💀

the manuscript -

we know the drill by now, fitz gets all the breakup songs because they could be about sophie OR keefe. "afterwords, she only ate kid's cereal, and slept in her mother's bed" while the song is discussing reverting back to childhood habits in vulnerability, fitz's vulnerability made him angry (but it was still a big change from his regular self) "looking back might be the only way to move forward" I hope he does get to move on!!! im tired of the love triangle plot if we're not gonna focus on keefitz' friendship 😭

[gothcryptid-art]

simon 'ghost' riley x reader headcanons

fully gender neutral + no descriptors because ghost is for the people. implied that reader is military tho. all lowercase bc im cool. wacky ass writing. no other warnings besides ghost being a deeply insecure individual

(literally just writing this bc i have the brainrot so bad i spent 95 hard earned canadian dollars on this stupid game im not even good at it its amazing i love it anyways enjoy u filthy animals)

- he's a dog guy. he secretly wishes he couldve had a stabler life so maybe he could have one or two. If you have a dog, he is ALL over it. will buy treats, toys, enrichment, literally anything and everything. he just wants to spoil the lil baby

- absolutely does not know how to cook, he can only use a microwave smh. if you can cook for him tho, he will absolutely get all heart eyed kickin his feet under ur dinner table twirling his hair round his finger he is in LOVE

- THAT BEING SAID!!!! he makes a bangin cup of tea. his fav is earl grey and he loves a good london fog, but with his line of work he just doesnt have the time. thats why every time he actually goes home, the first thing he does is make a proper cuppa.

- it's very difficult for him to trust anybody, much less fall in love, so when he falls he falls HARD. he'll go out of his way to do nice things for you. if you're out on a mission together and have some downtime he'll just grab your knives and sharpen them for you. He's already doing his own, why not yours too? He lovesss doing small acts like that for u. he knows a little kindness can go a long way.

- the same goes the other way around, if you do literally anything for him the man is SWOONING. he's about to head out but can't find something, and u pop outta nowhere to place it in his hands with a kiss on the cheek of his mask? he's planning a proposal as soon as hes out the door. he loves u. amazing.

- he knows he's a good looking guy, but before he shows you his face he's super scared about you not liking how he looks. He worries that he isn't your 'type' and once you see his face you'll get bored of him and move on to someone more entertaining like Soap or Alejandro

- He's not great at verbalizing his emotions, and tends to bottle things up. if he does it for long enough he'll get way too in his head and he'll start distancing himself from u (unintentionally). one day it gets to be too much and u just sit him down and make him tell u whats up

- he's just. not good at talking abt his feelings. his sentences have super long pauses where he overthinks everything he's saying. he's trying not to hurt your feelings if it's something relating to you, but sometimes that means he wont tell u the whole truth. but hes trying ok? he WANTS to communicate with you, he's just gotta learn how essentially from scratch.

- but man if ur able to break down his walls a little, and he can tell that you see him as a person and not just some mysterious puzzle to solve, he will go to the ends of the earth for u.

- he will devote a lot of his downtime to just being around you. he just likes your presence, hes the type of guy to want to sit in a room together and do your own things. he'll post up at a desk and look over the next mission's paperwork while you chill in a corner with a hobby of yours

if u made it this far hell yeah i hope u enjoyed, this is absolutely just self indulgent but i figured the world must be blessed as well. have a good one yall

[loversj0y]

'tis the damn season

chapter one - we could call it even

its your first day back home from winter break, and the overwhelming extent of the holidays leads to some interesting rekindlings

'tis the damn season masterlist

pairing: cc!wilbur soot x gn!reader

fluff and angst (quite a lot of angst in fact)

trigger warnings: reader's mother is abusive (not physically) and father is emotionally absent. this will be talked about in extensive detail. alcohol, some suggestive themes, and a lot of anxiety.

author's note: WELCOME! to the very first installment of a multichaptered fic inspired by taylor swift's tis the damn season! this work has been in progress for about. 4 months now so !! yipee!!! hope u enjoy (chapter two should be out sometime within the next week; i wont make the wait too long between chapters) dont like tumblr formatting? ao3 version is available here!

word count: 6.3k

If you had to be honest, you despised the holidays. It was always stressful, no matter how prepared you tried to be. But regardless, being in your final year of Uni, it was pretty nice to get a final winter break before graduation. The idea of staying with your parents wasn’t ideal. They’d spent years neglecting you and taking a toll on you emotionally, but in the time you’d been gone, it had seemed like things had improved. You agreed to go home for the holidays under this idea, hoping to have a nice break from everything, despite the heavy feeling in your chest that came from being in your hometown – that you’d proudly left behind – and the general dread of the holidays.

Wilbur wasn’t exactly the opposite. While he didn’t mind the holidays themselves, he hated the social conventions of it all. Particularly the insistence that you must be with family or else the holiday isn’t worth anything. However, Wilbur seemed to luck out this year. His mother and stepfather happened to book a cruise for the holidays, and all they wanted from him was to watch the house while they were gone. It gave him both the convention of helping out family without dealing with the mental decline that he gets from actually being around them, mostly his stepfather. So, he’d spend a month in his old bedroom, in the town he dreaded because the number of good memories he’d had all involved one person that left not long before he did.

When you’d finally arrived, it wasn’t long before your parents were hugging you and peppering kisses on your face, talking about how much they’d missed you, and asking if you were eating alright. It was loving, and you did appreciate it, but you felt uneasy. As your mother hugged you, it felt unfulfilling as you looked around the room, each familiar surrounding bringing up memories of your mother’s yelling. You’d settled down fairly easily, which tended to be a perk of returning to your childhood bedroom. After changing into something much more comfortable, you’d returned to where it seemed your family members had accumulated.

“Y/n, darling, my goodness, you’ve grown so much since I’ve last seen you! What are they feeding you out there in London?” It was your aunt who spoke to you. She was tame enough, save for when she got her hands on enough cosmopolitans to feel the need to share everyone’s gossip. 

“It’s nice to see you too. And I cook for myself, in case you were wondering.” You deadpanned. Honestly, you just didn't feel like humoring her advances to pull information out of you. You’d fallen for them as a kid, but now, even with little to hide, you couldn’t quite trust her. 

“Of course, you are, my genius. How’s the dating scene been?” 

You rolled your eyes at the nickname, brushing it off, “Boring as ever.” 

She hummed, taking a sip of her drink.  Ah, looks like she may already be ready to gossip, you thought, noticing the soft flush on her cheeks consistent with her drunkness. Your suspicions were confirmed when she continued, “You know, your mum told me she saw that old fling of yours at the shops the other day. What was his name?” She hummed for a moment, “Wilbur! That’s what it is.” 

Your chest turned to stone in a matter of seconds, and you forced out a response, “Oh, cool.” 

It was not “oh, cool” however, it was very much not cool. You and Wilbur had been friends since the third form, and while you weren’t incredibly close at first, you became much closer as time went on and as social circles grew smaller and smaller.  It came to the point where you two were inseparable, the best friend you’d had even until now. Your “fling” couldn't even really be classified as such. Despite how much you loved Wilbur Soot, you and him just never seemed to break that barrier, save for one weekend in your final year of A-levels. You’d planned to go to prom together, neither of you being romantically involved with anyone else, but you never actually made it to prom. You both went and sat in a field outside the back of the school, sharing a bottle of vodka he’d lifted from his stepdad’s stash. It was then that he’d opened up to you about how embarrassed he felt to be leaving school without having ever kissed a girl before. The mixture of his vodka and your love for him ultimately amounted to a few sloppy kisses, a moment’s worth of making out, before the two of you both had to run from a counselor who was looking for any delinquent students. Neither of you ever addressed it again. 

The years you two had known each other eventually culminated in the same relationship that you had with most people these days: you leaving him and losing contact. You didn’t mean to leave him behind, but between a full scholarship in London and his insistence on how shitty London is, you had to leave. 

You thought about him frequently. There were numerous nights where you’d open up his contact and attempt to draft a message, but it always ended in watching the cursor blink as you struggled to find the words. Honestly, you never thought you’d see him again. You knew nothing about him anymore, what he was like, what he was doing. It was impossible to decide if you dreaded seeing him or would go out of your way to attempt to see him. 

After catching up with your family for a bit longer, you decided to step out. Honestly, you didn’t know where you were going. It was late, almost midnight, and you just needed the fresh air. After walking into town, you found the one thing that would realistically be open this time of night: the pub. It was mostly empty, save for a few older folks sitting in some booths around the wall. You recognized the bartender, he was a few years above you back in school, but he always made an effort to be kind to everyone. He grinned at you once you sat at the bar. 

“Well, if it isn’t Y/N L/N. Shit, I would’ve thought you died," he chuckled, "You visiting for the holidays?” 

“Yep. And trust me, I’d quite rather be dead than be around my whole family all day.” 

He laughed, “Let me guess, a martini for the sophisticated Londoner?” 

You laughed back, “God, no, I haven’t exactly been converted over yet. Just a pint.”

“Still the same as before?” 

“Mmhm,” you nodded out, sighing softly. Being here felt a lot less tense than being at home. At least here you didn’t have to deal with the hushed fights and curses whispered between spouses. 

Wilbur had been incredibly excited by the idea of being alone when he first arrived at his old house a week before. It wasn’t long before it got old. 

“Alright, chat, who should we raid?” 

His chat moved rapidly in response to his words. He’d been playing Minecraft with Tommy, not unlike usual, but he’d been live for an hour and a half, which was a long time to hold up a persona for. Once he’d ended, he stayed on call with Tommy through Discord. 

“I dunno, man. I like being alone, like having the place to myself, but I’ve never felt so lonely,” Wilbur paused, “This place is way bigger than I remember.”

“So go somewhere,” Tommy offered.

Wilbur groaned, “You do understand that there is nothing to do here. It’s part of the reason I settled on Brighton.”

“Oh, c’mon, there’s gotta be something there for you to do. Don’t you have at least, like, a park or a pub maybe? You could go meet women!” 

“Tommy, I know every woman in this town, nobody has moved here or left here since I left,” he sighed, “we do have a pub though. Honestly, that’s not a bad idea. I could go for a drink.” 

“See! Just gotta think outside the box. Have a little optimism, man. Maybe you’ll see that person you knew in school.” 

“Tommy, don’t.” Wilbur genuinely considered leaving the call, his heart sinking at the mention of his old friend, “They haven’t been back since they left, alright?” 

“Yeah, but you never know! Have you thought about what you’d say to them if you did see them?” 

“No,” he groaned, “I don’t know why I’m humoring this, but if I saw them, I’d probably be nice. As much as it hurts, I miss them, and it’s not like I reached out much either, so.” 

Tommy hummed, “Wilbur the Wise, you are. At least maybe if you do see them, you’ll be much less bored.” 

“Yeah, I suppose,” Wilbur sighed, pulling an old beanie on. “Alright, I’m going to head out, talk to you later, man.” 

“Have fun!” 

Wilbur hung up the call after a moment, sighing a bit as he stretched. While he didn’t actually want to go to the pub, it was a better idea than staying in another night. Plus, at least he could get to walk his old path and try and see some of the cats he always used to stop for. 

His walk did end up taking quite a while. He only spotted two cats on the way, but he’d given them as much attention and love as they’d allow. But that wasn’t really what took up so much of his time. He kept going back to what Tommy had asked. Honestly, he did not even consider he’d see you here. For a long time  after you’d left for school, he thought that one day he’d see you walking to the shops and he’d go up to you, and just by saying hello, everything would feel like it used to. After a while, he’d lost hope that he’d ever see you again. He’d tried to find you online, some scrap to see how you had been and to see if you were okay, but he knew he couldn’t exactly just follow you without the risk of questions. He cursed himself for a long while over his pettiness in never reaching out. He thought about that prom night often. Part of him couldn’t make peace with the idea that his best friend, someone who he’d fallen in love with the second they’d spoken to him, was now just a stranger to him. It didn’t make sense to him, but  what made even less sense was when Wilbur opened the door to the pub to find you sitting alone at the bar. 

Wilbur’s breathing went full stop when he saw you. He couldn’t feel his fingers, but whether that was from the cold or the shock he felt seeing you, he couldn’t tell. Once he could feel his body again, he felt his heart pounding in his chest. He’d have to make a choice right now, and he’d have to make one he wouldn’t eventually regret, but-

“Wilbur! Mate, close the door, would you, you’re lettin' in a draft!” 

You felt frozen in your seat when you heard the bartender– whose name, you were kindly reminded, was Liam– yell to Wilbur. You didn’t know if you wanted to look up at him or look anywhere but him. Eventually, curiosity got the best of you, and you looked up directly into his eyes as he stood in the doorway. He seemed to come back to life after a second, turning to walk towards the bar. 

“Uh, right, sorry, man. Could I get a pint?” 

He sat across the corner of the bar, close but still seemingly holding you at a distance. 

After Liam walked away, he turned back to you, and for a moment, you both stared, trying to find words. He’d grown quite fit since the last time you’d seen him. He was still  tall, but not quite as lanky. His shoulders have filled out nicely.  

You decided to start, stuttering a bit as you began, “Hi, Wilbur.”

He seemed to think for a moment before the look faded from his face and something kinder replaced it, “Hi.” 

“How- um,” you contemplated even asking, but you’d rather ask than be sitting here in awkward silence with the boy you’ve loved for years, “How have you been?” 

“I’ve been…” He took in a breath, a moment to compose himself, before responding, “I’ve been good, actually. How about you?” 

You considered lying. “I’m okay, could be better but…”

“But?” 

“Well, I’m still doing the whole uni thing, so still just living in London. Not many developments.” 

“Right. How is London?” 

You thought back to your apartment. Your shitty apartment and your three roommates who you never spoke to, the leaks in the ceilings, the constant noise, the crowds, the grey fogs that would weigh down on your lungs, the deaths on the tube, the harassment just from walking to campus, everything. “It sucks. The city is horrible,” you sighed, “The school is alright, though. The people are standoffish and don’t talk, but the education is good.”

Wilbur looked as though he was fighting off a smile, taking a sip from the beer he’d been given. “I’m sorry to hear that. Glad the school is good. It may not be my place exactly, but do you mind if I say something?” 

Dread filled your chest. “Well, you have to now.” 

A smile crossed his face, his eyes wrinkling at the corners. “I told you so.” 

A moment of processing passed before you burst into laughter. Of course, after all the years you knew Wilbur Soot, you probably could have predicted that would be the first thing he’d want to say to you. 

“Okay, okay, I can admit. Maybe you were a little right. I’ve got my regrets, but despite the city, I don’t hate my choice,” you took a sip from your pint, “what about you? How’s life been?” 

He shrugged a bit, “I’d say good. I did some schooling online and graduated a bit ago. Been doing some work, uh, online, so yeah. It’s been good.” 

“Oh, that sounds cool. Anything I’d know?” 

 “Uh, maybe…” He went quiet for a moment before continuing, “I work for Twitch if you know that company.” 

You shrugged, “I know of them. That’s cool though, I’m glad you found something you enjoy.” 

He smiled a bit, “Yeah, it’s been nice. I’ve made quite a few friends.”

“Really?” That was a bit of a surprise, “Shy little Wilby is making work friends?” 

He seemed to flush a bit, chuckling, “I’ve gotten better about the shyness.” 

“That’s good. You seem to be doing better in that department than I have. I haven’t changed much at all, I think.” 

He hummed, pondering. He stared for a moment, and you almost felt shy under his gaze. Finally, after what felt like ages, he spoke up, “You do your hair differently. You used to part it to the side.” 

You laughed, surprised by the unexpected statement, instinctively reaching up to fix some stray hairs. It brought a blush up to your cheeks, as you couldn’t remember the last time someone had noticed such a small detail as that. You bit your lip for a moment before responding, “Yeah, I- I guess so. Though, to be fair, we kind of had the whole edginess thing going on back then. Had to look the part.”

“Very true,” He snorted a bit, “I still listen to the same music for the most part though.” 

“Oh, let me guess. Favorite band is still Los Campesinos!?” 

“Yeah,” he laughed, “though I play a bit of my music now too.” 

“Oh?” that was a major development. Wilbur spent a significant amount of time in school talking about how much he wanted to play music, always humming some tune to himself, “Will, that’s fantastic. You’ll have to show me sometime.” 

“I could show you now, if you’d like. I’m just watching the house for my parents, so I brought some of my music equipment with me.”

You don’t know what made you so willing to say yes. Maybe it was the fact that you’d finished your pint. Maybe it was just the way that being here and talking to Wilbur made the heaviness in your chest finally lighten up since you first realized you’d have to go home. Either way, before you knew it, you and Wilbur were walking back to his place, chatting lightly the whole way there. 

“Wow, this place hasn’t changed.” 

You took off your coat as you and Wilbur entered his front door. 

“My parent’s haven’t made much of an effort to change things. They think the nineties are still in.” He joked lightly as he locked the door behind you both. 

You chuckled, “Yeah, I can see that.” You followed him up the stairs, “So, you said you were just watching the place for them. I take it you don’t live here anymore?” 

“Nope, I’ve been living in Brighton, actually. I think you’d really like it. It’s still England, so it’s not great, but the ocean is gorgeous.” 

“I’ve been meaning to go down there, actually. It’s only about an hour's train from me, so sometimes my roommates go down there for long weekends. I just haven’t had the time.” 

He hummed, “Well, whenever you do have the time, let me know. I’ve got a pretty nice spare room. Plus, I could introduce you to my mates.”

You smiled softly, mostly to yourself, “Yeah. That would be nice.” 

He sat down on his bed, reaching behind him and grabbing his guitar.  You  took a moment to look around the room. The same posters were still hung up, the dents in the wall from you and him goofing off and throwing things, even the scuffs on the floorboards from when you and him rearranged all his furniture. In the years of separation, you expected more of a difference. The only actual difference was that the room was cleaned for once. You hesitated before sitting next to him as you made your observations. He noticed. 

“What’s up?” 

I shrugged, “It’s weird. Being back here, I mean. I haven’t sat here since A-levels.”

He nodded, thinking it over for a moment. “Yeah. It is a bit weird. Doesn’t it kind of seem like nothing’s changed though?” He chuckled, “I mean, despite the time gap, you always did say being here made you feel safe.” 

“Yeah,” I sighed, “the feeling is still there. I just feel… weird. I’m used to missing you and all of our memories, but I’m not used to being here again after everything that has changed.” 

He smiled slightly, “you missed me?”

I chuckled, “Obviously, man. I missed you every day. Missed having a best friend to bully.” 

He snorted, “Hey, all of our bullying was friendly. Unlike some of the other wankers at our school.”

You laughed, throwing your head back, “Oh god, yeah. Bloody hell, man, I feel bad for their kids. Marshall’s going into medicine, and my god, I pray I never end up as his patient. I feel like his negligence alone would kill me.” 

Wilbur laughed, leaning into you a bit. “God, that is not a man who should have a medical license,” he sighed softly. “Don’t fret, though. I missed you a lot too. I missed having someone yell at me to go outside or cut my hair.” 

You laughed, “Yeah, my yelling comes from a good place, though.” 

He hummed, “True. It did help me not go stir-crazy for a while there.” He paused for a moment, turning towards you slightly. “Wait, if you missed me, then… why didn’t you ever call?” 

You took a deep breath, sighing softly. “Honestly, at first… I thought you might be mad at me for leaving. We did kind of have a whole argument about it, and I didn’t know if you’d want to hear from me. And then, once some time had passed, I considered it. I considered looking you up and trying to talk to you, or even just texting you, but I just felt like it might’ve been weird for me to just text you out of the blue. I didn’t want you to think I was just contacting you because I needed something or something stupid like that. I got busy, and more time passed, and reaching out just felt weirder and weirder each time I considered it.” 

He nodded softly. He didn’t make eye contact as he listened and thought. “If I’m being honest as well, I didn’t want to hear from you at first. I was pretty upset. But after a while, I just missed my best friend. And I was going to text you, but I thought you’d be upset with how we left things. I wanted you to reach out because if I had hurt you, I couldn’t handle reaching out only to get anger, or even worse, just silence,” He sighed, “but if I knew you were thinking the same, I would have dedicated as much effort as I have to keep you in my life.” 

You flushed a bit, “I would have too.” You made eye contact with him and everything felt warm for a moment, as if his gaze was sunlight peering through dark clouds. 

“Now that I know, though,” he started, “I am going to annoy the fuck out of you.”

You laughed loudly at that, grinning up at him, “I wouldn’t have it any other way. We’ve got a few years to make up for after all.” 

He grinned softly, looking down for a moment. He pulled his guitar up a bit, smiling, “Well, now that that’s settled. Let me play you something.” 

Wilbur’s music was beautiful. He played for an hour before he decided to stop, something about not wanting to play anything he hadn’t quite finished yet. 

“Always the perfectionist, you are,” you commented as he placed his guitar down. 

“Not always, I’ve gotten better about it. But I want to impress you mostly.” 

“Really?” He sat back down on the bed next to you, “You wanted to impress me?” 

He nodded, humming out a soft ‘mmhm’. 

“If I knew we were trying to impress each other, I would’ve made my life sound much cooler.” 

“Oh, really, how so?” 

“I dunno, would’ve made it sound like I have some millionaire boyfriend who takes me to Spain for a casual date.” 

He hesitated, his teeth taking his bottom lip in thought. “Do you have one?”

“A millionaire boyfriend?” You laughed out, “No, Wilbur, I d-“

“No, I just meant like, a boyfriend.” 

“Oh.” You frowned a bit, “No. I don’t. Haven’t exactly gotten to know many people there. Plus, all the men are quite shit.” 

He nodded, “Just like everything else in London?”

“Pretty much,” You chuckled softly, “What about you though? A handsome guy like you in Brighton, I’m sure you’ve gotten yourself, someone, by now.”

He shrugged, “Tried it out for a while, but I just didn’t have much luck.” He stopped as he processed your response in full, “Hold on, handsome? You think I’m handsome?” He teased. 

You lightly blushed, rolling your eyes, “Obviously, man. You’ve always been quite fit. Especially with that haircut rather than that straight line cut you used to have.” 

He laughed, “God, that was horrendous. Well, wait, how about now,” he took his hands and pushed his hair back, revealing his forehead. 

You burst out laughing, “Somehow, yes, even if your forehead takes up half your face.” 

He laughed, moving his hands and shaking his head to get his hair to fall back into place. “I can safely say, I find myself quite flattered. Especially coming from an incredibly pretty person such as yourself.” 

You flushed a soft pink, “You think?”

“No, I don’t think, I just know facts.” 

You blushed darker, chuckling. “Well, thanks.” You lightly nudged him with your side. 

He repeated the action, albeit slightly harder. You two did this for a moment, each going slightly harder until he’d accidentally gone a bit too hard, knocking both of you down. 

You both laughed, him laying his head against your side for a moment, before pulling himself up and holding himself up by his arm above you. 

“You’re still as goofy, Mr. Soot.” 

“Only with you.” 

“Oh?”

“Actually, no. But this kind of goofy, yes.” 

“And what kind is that?” 

He just stared down at you for a moment. You felt yourself flush a bit under his gaze, and you stared back up at him. The light from his room gave him a soft halo glow around his head that made him look completely angelic. You’d always thought him attractive, but fuck he was ethereal like this. 

“The kind I do to make pretty people laugh.” 

Your breath hitched, but you were quiet otherwise. You couldn’t remember a time when your best friend was ever so… bold. Maybe part of you was reading into the tension, but the most gorgeous man you’d ever know just called you pretty. That plus his position above you was enough to make your heartbeat faster. You wanted to kiss him. Something in you felt so strongly the urge to wrap your hands around his neck and kiss him. For some reason you couldn’t quite fathom, though, you didn’t. 

“Well, feels nice being special, then.” 

He laid down next to you, the both of you just staring at the ceiling for a few quiet moments as the tension diffused. 

He turned to you. “I can’t tell if I still know almost everything about you or if I know nothing anymore.” 

“I can’t tell either.” You turned back to him, sighing, “Honestly, you probably still know more about me than I do.” 

“You think?” 

You nodded. 

He thought to himself, “Still play Minecraft?” 

“God, no,” You laughed, “I wish. I just don’t have the time for anything like that. I’ve just been studying constantly.” 

“Unfortunate. If you ever need a break from studying, we could always play together.” He hummed, “ They’ve added a lot of cool things to the game.”

“You still play?” 

“Yeah,” he nodded, “I play a lot. It’s a fantastic narrative tool, in fact.”

“Oh, really?”

“If you have enough people willing to work out a story and act it out, it makes for a cool platform to tell stories.” 

You smiled, despite it being only for Wilbur’s sake. Honestly, you were sad that you didn’t know what he was talking about. 

“What’s up?” 

“Hm?” You questioned softly. 

“Something’s wrong. I still know one of your fake smiles when I see them.”

“Oh,” you mumbled, “no, it’s just… I missed you. I’m a bit bummed that I can’t see the cool stuff you’ve done since.”

“Well,” he started, rubbing the back of his neck, “actually, you can.” 

You gave him a confused look as he continued. 

“You know how I mentioned I worked for Twitch?” You nodded, “well when I say that, I mean that I stream, actually, so playing live for people and that includes all my stories.”

“Wilbur, that’s amazing.”

“I know,” he laughed, “I’m still shocked people are interested in what I write and create.” 

“If they’re anything like your DnD campaigns, I’m not shocked at all.”

He laughed again, throwing his head back, “Oh, man, I loved making those as convoluted as possible though, you were the one who made the stories make sense. These are more streamlined since we have to deal with so many different schedules and coordinate stuff.” 

“God, that sounds stressful. I can barely coordinate plans with one person.” 

He shrugged, “It’s easier since streaming is all of our jobs. It’s more like assigning work shifts.”

You hummed, “That makes sense.”

“Yeah, I can send you some stuff from it. Though, be warned, without your aid, some pieces of lore are wildly convoluted.” 

You chuckled, “I expect nothing less.” 

You and Wilbur continued to talk for hours, just catching each other up on life and new habits, and every detail missed between the cracks of time you two were separated from each other. You couldn’t be sure when you or Will fell asleep, but you woke up feeling safer than you’d had in a long time. When you’d briefly woken up to the morning light coming through the blinds, and you noticed his lanky arm wrapped around you, you gently reached down and held his hand in yours before falling back into the kind arms of rest. 

You woke up again about two hours later. You were facing him now, both of your legs wrapped between each other, and his arm was still lightly cupping your back. You opened your eyes to see him still sleeping, a soft and peaceful expression on his face. You gently reached a hand up to brush some of his hair away from his eyes. You were so busy staring at his soft features that you barely noticed his eyes open. 

“Good morning to you too, then,” he spoke, his voice laced with sleep. 

Your hand jumped back, a blush immediately rising to your cheeks, “Sorry.”

“‘s alright. Felt quite nice, actually.” He blinked the sleep out of his eyes after a moment, and he flushed himself, going to move his hand off your waist, “Oh, sorr-“

“No.” You stopped him, his arm halting midair, “It’s okay. It felt quite nice,” you said, mimicking his words from a moment ago. 

He blushed, cautiously lowering his arm back onto your side. 

“Did you sleep well?” He asked. 

“Yeah. Your room feels more familiar than mine, honestly.” 

He chuckled, his laughter slightly gruff from the early morning, “You probably spent more time here than at your own place, so I can’t say I’m shocked.”

You laughed, “Oh, almost definitely. What about you, did you sleep well?” 

He smiled at you, nodding, “Best I’ve slept since I got here. I felt much less lonely.” 

“I know what you mean. My room kind of just feels cold. Not temperature-wise, but just like,” you sighed, “you know what I mean.”

“Luckily, I do.” He smiled, “You’re welcome to stay here again, if you like.”

You hummed, “I might consider it. Though I would like to stop home to put on something clean.” 

He nodded, “Right, of course, yeah. I actually have to stream today, too, so, if anything, just,” he trailed off, “text me around eight?” 

“Yeah,” you nodded, “That sounds good. I can bring some food from home too, given that I know you have probably just been eating takeout or, god forbid, have been trying to cook by yourself.”

“Hey, I’m much better at cooking than I used to be,” he laughed. “You’re right about the takeout, though.” 

You snorted, “I know you well, Mr. Soot.” 

He smiled fondly, “You sure do.” 

The two of you just lay there quietly, basking in the early air and light. After a few minutes, you sighed, leaning your head against his chest quietly. 

“Is everything alright?” He whispered. 

You nodded against him, burying your face deeper against him while he wrapped his arms tighter around you. You felt emotional all of a sudden as you held onto him: Your best friend, who you’d secretly loved for years. And now, you thought about what held you back in the past. The main thing you were afraid of was losing him, but in the end, that ended up happening anyway. Love confession or not, you lost him, and now, you were given another chance by whatever fateful creature may exist out there. And as insistent as you were to not lose this chance, your logic stopped you. This trip was just that: a trip. In two weeks, you’d be back to your place in London and he would be back in Brighton. But yet there was an ache in your chest, consistent with longing and want but entirely unattainable. 

“Stop thinking so much,” he spoke softly, placing his chin on top of your head. 

“Wilbur, you know that is entirely impossible for me.” 

“Okay,” he trailed off, “then do you want to talk about it, so it can at least be out of your head?”

You did. You wanted to talk about it all, in its entirety, if only just to know if the ache present in your chest matched an ache in him. But you couldn’t. If that ache wasn’t present in him, who would you be to share it with him? The solution seemed to lie in half-truths.

“I’m just thinking about how I go home in two weeks and how much I’m dreading it. I don’t want to go back to schoolwork.”

He hummed, nodding, “It’s probably not helpful to say, but if you dwell on that the whole time you’re here, then it will come twice as fast. You’ve got to slow your brain down a bit. Try and just be in the moment.” 

You snorted, “That’s rich coming from you.” 

He chuckled, “Hey, my anxiety might take over sometimes, but it really does help to try and just focus on what’s happening, you know. You’re safe here,” he lightly kissed the top of your head, “so just focus on being here.” 

You sighed, “I’ll try.” You shifted your focus to the soft sound of his heartbeat against your ear, the feeling of his arms wrapped around your back. Every detail was comprised of him. 

You eventually did have to go home, after receiving a frantic call from your mum about how you “couldn’t just sneak off every time you got bored” which, granted, you disagreed with; you knew this town like the back of your hand, and you’re an adult so it’s not like she can dictate your every move. When you made it home, you went to your room to change and shower, but your thoughts immediately drifted back to Will. You never really noticed just how many minute details you had memorized, like the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed, or the way he would tilt his head back when something that caught him offguard made him really laugh. You thought about the way he would hiccup in between laughter so strong it made his ribs hurt. The sly smile he would give you when you made eye contact but neither of you had anything to say.  Your thoughts were entirely consumed by him. 

By the time it was dinner, you had done almost extensive research into Wilbur’s online persona. You watched as many videos as you could, some of his, some of them fan-made. It was a weird concept, your best friend having fans. You’d gone onto the online space briefly before backing away. You didn’t exactly want to intrude on fan debates given how much you knew about Wilbur really. It was odd watching him talk to his chat and everything. It was so different. He didn’t seem like the shy, almost moody, boy you knew. He was much more confident and comfortable. It did warm your heart to see him being so strong in himself. Your mind wonderer over this new information, how different he was from the person you knew, as you ate. You almost didn’t hear your mum speaking to you. 

“Dear, are you listening?”

You brought yourself out of your thoughts, grimacing. She hated when you weren’t listening, “Oh, sorry. No, uhm, what’s up?” 

She frowned, giving you a cold stare, “I asked if you’ve found any jobs lined up yet. For after graduation?” 

You sighed, “Not yet, Mum.”

“Because my old work friend, Charles, he could use the extra folks there. They’re looking into expanding into America.” She never actually cared much about what you wanted to do, always trying to push you into the field she wanted you to pursue. 

“I’ll be fine. I can find a job myself. And Charles doesn’t even work in the same field my degree is in.” 

“Just trying to help,” she tutted, tucking her arms defensively in front of her. “What’s on your mind these days?” 

You shrugged tensely, “School and work. I haven’t had time for much else.”

She cooed, almost mocking, “You really should be looking into a relationship, dearie. You don’t want all the good ones taken, right?” 

“God, mum, stop that. I’m fine on my own.” 

“But are you happy?” She laughed, as if taunting you. 

“I resent the implication that I cannot be perfectly fine and happy on my own without the presence of another person to fulfill me.” You spat.

“I’m not saying that specifically, I’m just saying, you really ought to try harder. I’m sure most people don’t find your constant sweatpants that attractive.” 

You groaned, standing. “I can’t be here for this anymore.” 

She did this every year. Constantly reminding you of your own loneliness under the guise of being thoughtful and caring, rather than just understanding that you are your own person who’d rather be alone before feeling like someone’s personal doll. 

You strode to the kitchen, filling a container with some leftovers for Wilbur as your mother tried helplessly to justify her own points. You waved her off, grabbing your bag before walking out the door.

You let out a sigh once you headed out. You walked to the end of the street and sat on the curb, pulling out your phone to text Wilbur. Once you got confirmation that you could come, you stood and walked the short distance to his place.

He opened the door, and you walked in casually. 

“You look annoyed about something,” he noted. 

“I would like you to take a wild guess,” you hummed, handing him the leftovers. 

He murmured a quick ‘thank you’ before responding, “Your mum?” 

“Still as bad as before, she is.” 

He sighed, “At least you’ve got mine to hide out at. Want to watch a movie or something?” 

taglist: @shubblelive / @superioritycomplexes (dm me or send an ask to be added!)

[cara-carabowditbowdit]

please tell me more about crowley and aziraphale im Very interested /srs

ok so. this is gonna be a looong post sorry

BASICALLY. aziraphale is an angel, crowley is a demon. theyve known each other for 6,000 years, at the creation of the universe (when crowley was still an angel. he created stars and everything. very nice job) and theyve become great... friends (wink) even though theyre not supposed to be! so theyre not friends! theyre eeeevil enemies. and then they go out for dinner

anyways. idk how to explain it well but theyre just SOOOOO!!

ok so now im going to try and do like. a whole thing explaining everything below so SPOILERS!!!!

okay so. in the beginning aziraphale and crowley were both angels. they met when crowley was making stars and galaxies and all that pretty stuff, and aziraphale came to say that they were going to shut it down after a bit. crowley gets upset and goes whaaaa this is so cool why would they do that (lil thing to note. aziraphale is like. interested in crowley but he doesnt really care) and then they have some really nice scene

d'aww. ok and so THEN! some big war happens i think? i dont know they dont show that part and crowley falls. demon moment!!! and then they go through all these different decades being friends, getting to know each other, and its great. aziraphale sins a little bit (gluttony), crowley saves aziraphales books, and they all have fun. oh btw. crowley can transform into a snake, and apparently hes the one that caused adam and eve to eat the apple? BUT! theres this other great scene where theyre talking, and its revealed that aziraphale gave his flaming sword to adam and eve, showing that he loves humans and has a soft spot for them, and theres this other great shot

THE PARALLELS!!!!!!!!! AUUUGh (^ this one came before. btw) and so this is sort of them showing how ohh, theyre not supposed to hang out because angel good demon evil waaah but they just KEEP ON FINDING EACH OTHER. oh and. speaking of like. showing off different softer sides of them. in season 2, theres a lot of bits where they show that crowley is pretty much putting up this show of being so meaaan and eeevil but hes actually nice and cares about humans (bringing jobs kids back, keeping that girl from dying, etc). ok now onto talking about season one. warning i havent watched this season in a bit so this is just me going off memory.

ok so! the big issue this season is "oh noooo we lost the antichrist!! big bad things gonna happen" and its awesome. OK SO. it starts off with crowley delivering the antichrist to this satanist church? and theres two women having babies that night. ONE is a normal family, who are supposed to have a normal baby. THE OTHER ONE is a rich family who is supposed to have the EEEVIL baby. can u guess what happens. BABY SWITCH!!! they didnt realize it tho so crowley and aziraphale are sent after the wrong baby. (to make him sin/be good) and then they realize on his 11th? birthday "aw crud! wrong baby." and go on some search to find the right antichrist. and that brings us to ADAM!!! hes the antichrist, and one coooooool kid. hes pretty normal tho and just hangs out with his friends. and then one day on his 11th birthday this dog shows up! (hellhound) and then off on the side theres this witch lady named anathema device who has a book that knows the future. crazy stuff. oh and this guy names newt whos kinda a dork and talks to this weird witch hunter guy shadwell and his neighbor madame tracy. oh and the four horseman of the apocalypse are around and free OKAY. into it now. anthma knows something bad is going to happen (book), and she moves to london because thats where its gonna happen!! whaaaat!!! and newt moves to london because uhh. witch finder i think? and he goes to meet shadwell and accidently meets tracy. not important rn. shadwells kinda bonkers and freaks newt out. ok now onto anathema. im pretty sure that aziraphale and crowley were driving around (oh btw. he has a magic bentley) and hit her!! yeoch. and after driving her home she accidentally leaves her book in the bentley and aww they gotta meet up again aw shucks. okay now they go searching for adam (antichrist) and i dont think they find him? anyways i forgot how but then tracy shadwell newt and anathema all meet up with crowley and aziraphale and do a seance. i forgot what about but ohh nooo aziraphale is in madame tracys body!!! ok so i kinda forgot how again but somehow theyre all at some big area and the four horsemen and running around i forgot what theyre doing and BLAM ADAM SHOWS UP hes mad. hes trapped his friends into doing what he wants. hes gonna start the apocalypse. average 11 yr old stuff. BUT!!! crowley and aziraphale manage to calm him down and newt blows something up. idk whats going on anymore. satan comes out, "grrrah im ur father adam". its a nice lovely moment. but oh wait!!! gabriel (heavens big man) and beezelbub (hells high duke) come down/up and r like "yall r in biiiig trouble! cant be doin all this" and they try to kill both of them. aziraphale in hellfire, crowley in holy water. that scene comes and yoo wait theyre both alive??? this is insane!!!! theyre both MILKING it, bein dramatic and then. at the end. WHAOOOAH THEYRE ACTUALLY THE OTHER ONE?????

and thats the end of season one. okay so i know that this is incredibly long but im not even done. im going to reblog this later with me talking about season two and that should be shorter. OH BTW

thats what everyone looks like ^^

OKAY BYE!!!!!!

[pacifymebby]

t r o u b l e // chapter two

Chapter List

A Peaky Blinders Balletcore Modern AU

Sylvia

I closed my eyes, stood en pointe, pushing myself beyond the limit, my whole delicate frame quivering with the effort, slowly pulling my left leg in towards my body. I could feel the strain, the tightness tugging and releasing with every breath as I forced my thigh up closer to my ear, breathing through the pain. All my concentration focussed on holding the position long enough to relax just enough to push my knee against my ear and hold it.

My sister had already mastered the position, she was afterall, born five minutes earlier and five minutes more talented than I. Thats what I'd always told her anyway. I'd spent my whole life doing things like this, hiding in the dance studio after class practicing longer and harder than her, exhausting myself to keep up with her. Trying not to hold it against her because it couldn't be helped.

I listened to the rise and fall of Moonlight Sonata, teetering with it as it climbed. For a moment I was nothing more than a body, a waif suspended on string, commanded by the music which filled my ears. Held by the music. And then just as sudden and as sharp as I had been delicate, the music cut out and my phone began to ring. Its shrill tone startled me and sent me down onto my knees swearing at the sting of my sudden release and when I saw my brothers name on the screen I cursed him, vowing not to take shit from him when he'd fucked my practice up.

"What the fuck is it John I'm in the middle of practice!" I snapped, flushing pink with frustration when he chuckled.

"Temper temper Fen," he grinned. I could hear traffic from his end of the line and the voice of another person talking to him, "Sonya with you?"

"No one calls me that," I hissed rolling my eyes, trust him to disturb me and not my sister even though it was her he wanted, "and no, shes not, like I said I'm at practice..."

"Don't you practice together?"

"Yeah well," I bit the tip of my thumb, gathering my things together as I sat on the floor, legs bent out of shape, like a wilted flower, "this is extra..."

"Nah, our Fen doesn't need extra practice she's too good for that shit..."

"Well now you're just admitting you've not seen a single one of my performances from the last three years..."

"Eh now thats not..."

"The nutcracker, christmas 2015..." I said sharp enough to shut him up because he knew I was right. I started tugging on the ribbon of my pointe shoes to undo them, using my teeth to pull the ribbon loose, more aggressive than I should have been.

I might not have seen my brothers for a long time but it didn't mean I'd lost my Shelby charm.

"Right, alright so we haven't exactly been close..." he sighed, "am sorry Fen..."

"Fuckin don't call me that dinlow," I snapped then, losing my temper because I couldn't stand to hear him talk like we were still brother and sister when they'd all but abandoned us down in London at the ballet. Our fucking Tommy probably would have sent us further had he not been so intent on keeping tabs on us. "Me own brothers don't have time to come to a fuckin Sunday matinee but they send their little spies to follow us into town every Friday night..."

"Thats for your protec..."

"Just tell me what you're phonin me for John, so I can get back to my fuckin life..."

"Alright," he sighed defeated, he sounded sad but not as sad as it had made me feel every time I'd put their names on a guestlist only for them to be crossed off it again as no shows. "Alright Syl," he said and it was then that I heard the tiredness in his voice, like he'd been up for days, "I'm at your flat right now yeah and your not home and your sisters not home and I need to talk to y'both its important alright so will y'jus let me know where you are an me an uncle Charlie will come pick you up so we can go get..."

"Uncle Charlies with you?"

"Aye lass,"

"Wait why are you at our flat? And whats Uncle Charlie here for?" call it Romani instinct but at the mention of my uncle I'd britsled, this goosebump creeping sensation shivering straight down my spine.

"Lets just get us all together first right an then I'll explain everythin sis, whats the address of your studio yeah? Then we'll go get..."

"I don't know where Sunny is," I said quickly, feeling guilty because when they'd first sent us off to ballet school when we were only little girls Tommy had made us promise we would always look out for one another. Family first and all that. But in recent months I'd not been brave enough to do that. Sonya had been keeping secrets, sneaking off in the evenings after training and I, not wanting to be another spy for Tommy, knowing how much it hurt to feel like you never really got a moments privacy, hadn't tried to push her for honesty.

"What?" John snapped, "why don't you know where your fucking sister is Sylvia?"

I flinched hearing the flair in his tone, the anger growled out between those words. John had never been the brother to lose his temper with me and Sonya, we'd always been his favourites, he'd always been soft on us, but just then as he'd spat those words down the phone he'd sounded more like Tommy or Arthur than John.

"I...sorry I don't fuckin spy on my sister John she's allowed to leave the house surely..." I stuttered losing my confidence, hearing Uncle Charlie chastise him for scaring me. He said something about how if he'd wanted to scare us Tommy would have come himself. That much was true.

"Fuck sake," groaned John, i couldnt tell if his frustration was self directed or still all for me but when he sighed and said sorry I felt that shiver down my spine again. Something had happened. Something was wrong.

"Look am sorry Fen," he said a little softer, all the stress bubbling just beneath the surface, "where are you? I'll come an get you, we can talk in the car..."

"I'm just leaving the studio now," I said softly, "I'll get the tube it'll be..."

"Nah you won't kid stay inside yeah, I'll phone when I'm outside, you stay put alright.."

"Yeah, yeah sure thats fine I'll stay here..."

"Good girl," he said, his voice sounding like a smile again, relaxing me a little, not really doing enough to quell the fear rising in my chest.

If Tommy had sent him and Uncle Charlie down to London to speak to us, that meant some serious shit had gone down in the family. Someone was either dead, dying or soon to be, and the way John had cut me off when I'd told him I'd take myself home, told me we were all threatened.

"Alright, right see you soon, love you,"

"Love you," i chewed my cheek. They weren't exactly words our brothers used often. He was obviously feeling superstitious.

I slipped my trainers on and shuffled my leg warmers down around my ankles, picking myself and my bag off the floor. As I left the studio to wait in the foyer I slipped one airpod in but not the other, knowing that if my brothers could have me watched anyone could.

In the foyer there was a large wall length mirror and I stood for a moment gazing into it, looking at my sister looking back at me. We were the kinds if identical twins people really did struggle to tell apart, even our brothers. Even occasionally our Aunt Pol who usually had a knack for these things. As youngens it had been a blessing, all the tricks we'd been able to play when we were still close, when we knew everything about one another and we never argued or fell out. Never kept secrets.

But I knew wherever she was now I needed to warn her about John, because if she was somewhere she shouldn't have been, somewhere in the city our brothers didn't run, there'd be more trouble than was worth.

She felt so far away now and I felt guilty because it wasn't exactly like it wasn't my fault. I'd distanced myself since she'd gone for a guest role with the royal ballet, Odette, Swan Lake. I'd wanted to go for it too but when she'd mentioned it I'd changed my mind and held back knowing she'd get the role over me. Now her name was all over this end of the city, Sonya Gray, and next year she'd probably be a Principle. I could try again then, it was only a year. I'd tried to reason with myself at the time, but now I had to admit, it hurt. It ached. I hated to feel jealous of her but I did.

And so rather than resent her I'd started to distance myself, let her drift away, let her sneak off in the evenings, pretended not to notice.

Where are u? Johns here!!!

I sent the text and slipped my phone back into my pocket, turning the volume up on my music as I drifted to a seat in the corner.

People watched us. We were infamous and it had nothing to do with how talented we were. Nothing to do with how many lead roles we could land. Everything to do with our brothers, the name we tried to distance ourselves, the reputation we just couldn't shake. She'd probably heard of my brothers, most people had. What I didn't realise was that she'd seen the news on the television, that I hadn't but when Sonya replied to my texts with a phone call two seconds later, I realised why that woman hadn't been able to look my in the eyes. It wasn't fear or suspicion. Only pity.

There was a woman sitting on the reception desk. A security camera on the ceiling behind her.

When I looked up at her she looked down at her hands trying to pretend she hadn't been watching me. But I wasn't naïve.

"Its fucking Michael! Someones hit michael!" she was sobbing, her voice was shaking and as the words sunk in I felt my own hands begin to tremble. I sucked my cheek in between my teeth and bit down trying to control myself, not wanting to cry now when someone could see me. Because they'd know I was only just hearing the news.

"Is he..." I started, not wanting to finish the question because I knew I was being listened to. Didn't want anyone eaves dropping.

"Hospital," was all she managed to get out before another sob overwhelmed her. For a second all I heard was her choked crying and I wondered where she was. Wondered who was seeing her break down like this. Wondered how long it would take for her pretty little face to start circulating the internet, her hand clasped over her mouth, her eyes red rimmed and swollen, her nose pinkish with sorrow. She'd be the perfect image for the pigs at the daily mail to run with, her pretty tears, the waif in distress. They'd push that photo on Twitter and Facebook, she'd be in the headlines. Poor girl.

"Listen Sunny where are you?" I asked her trying to be gentle, biting my teeth a little deeper into my cheek until I could feel the blood seeping, "you in public?" I asked and she started giggling through her sniffles.

"Uhuh," she said, "I need to get a fuckin grip i know," she said then probably wiping her eyes as she pushed her way through a busy London train station.

"Nah," i said sighing, pushing the wisps of hair which were coming loose around my forehead away. Twisting one a little nervously. "Nah its not that its John ain't it, he's coming to pick me up now and then we're coming to get you..."

"Oh," she sniffled, "yeah i spose that makes sense..."

"Yeah," I said thinking about our poor cousin, rushed to hospital in the back of an ambulance. Poor Pol, she'd barely been reunited with him and now he was being ripped away all over again.

"Shit," she shivered as she spoke, "look I'll be in Camden right, by the lock or something and we can say I was just with a mate..."

"Were you not?" I bit my lip, hesitant, wondering if I asked her now she would tell the me the truth.

"No..." she said quietly, "shit Sylvie," she was whispering now, still crying a little, her voice shaking a little though now she sounded more scared than sad, "if I tell you you gotta promise you won't say a word to John,"

"Cross my heart,"

"I'm in Little Italy," she said then, "Sabini's territory..."

"Oh..." I said, glancing up at the woman behind reception. She was still pretending not to be watching. I wondered if my face was going to be plastered all over social media too. There was less potential really, I wasn't crying, the photographs of me wouldn't have the same waif like prettiness because I'd only been frowning and chewing my cheek. I'd be tight lipped, sharp sullen jawed.

"I've been seein this lad..." she said, "he's Italian..."

"Oh..." I said again with a smirk, cracking a grin when she gasped and told me not to judge her.

"Honest he's not like the others.."

"Not a fucking..." i trailed off, "you know..."

"I mean, yeah but..."

"Oh fuck me Sunny," I grinned in disbelief, "ever likely you didn't want me to say anything to John!"

"Don't Sylvie he'll kill the poor lad..."

"Yeah," I said with a soft smile, "yeah he fuckin will..." I looked up then, just in time to see a swish black range rover pull to a stop in the road outside. I knew it was my brother before the window rolled down and the horn started beeping, but when she heard the beep from her end of the phone Sonya knew too amd smirked.

"Camden Lock yeah, just say I'd gone to the market..." she said, "I'll see you soon, love you,"

"Love you," I said as I stood up and made my way outside as quickly as I could, just wanting John to stop hitting that fucking horn and causing a scene.

Next Chapter

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

uk riots r fucking terrifying. there is a riot in my constituency today. the weather is my fav but i dont feel like i can go outside safely (south asian + afab, i might not be muslim (shoutout 2 all my muslim brothers, sisters n enbies, luv u n i kno u can pull thru this) but im legit scared

i wanted to go out 2 central london tmr n i had sm planned but im questioning if i shld do it. if its safe.

ugh ugh ugh im going to make a post urging my international friends to talk abt this shit bc it is not ok

have a great day and soz for this word dump (not rly but still). i hope u and ur family r safe*, whether u r in the uk or not

*omg the fact i fucking signed off with 'i hope ur safe' is terrifying. i've lived in the uk all my life and always seen it as somewhere safe. somewhere i can go out freely. and these fucking riots have changed everything.

Terrifying is honestly the best word for it. I've struggled to describe it in a way that doesn't just come back to terror.

And I'm lucky in where I live and who I am. We're situated in between two cities so it's not on our doorstep, or at least not yet it isn't Plus round here is a very diverse area with a pretty big South Asian population which makes it harder for them to get a foothold.

So we're in a very fortunate position, and the fact that I'm white also gives me protection from them.

I can't imagine how much worse it must be to not be white with everything going on, especially South Asian. If any of the rioters know the difference between Islam, Hinduism and Sikhism, I'd eat my fucking headphones.

Also gonna echo the sentiment of anyone international, please reblog the posts about this. It might not affect you, but it could easily affect someone who follows you, and also there is not enough attention on this. Like I will go as far as calling it domestic terrorism, it's a massive fucking deal.

You don't need to apologise for a word dump in any way. My inbox is always open even though Tumblr seems to be eating a lot of the asks I get notifications for. We're in terrifying times; if anyone needs to vent about it, feel free to send them my way.

Hope you and your family are safe too <3

[borathae]

Chapter 31

ok she apologised SHE APOLOGISED YES 😭 AND HE SAID WHAT HE MEANT WITHOUT BEING RUDE THEY TALKED

OMG LOOK OUR LIL DEVIL BEING A FUCKING TEMPTATION no seriously yoongi, she did all that just to talk to him

THEY KISSED MY PARENTS ARE KISSING wait no god no that was a mistake

Is this how Yoongi kisses? With such tenderness and care? With such patience and an almost obsessive desire to pay every second of the kiss his equal attention? Is this the Yoongi you saw on that portrait all those nights ago? The Yoongi who wanted his lover to see him before they died? The Yoongi who let them die because he didn’t want to condemn them to a fate of eternal bloodlust? And the Yoongi who kept that portrait all those centuries as a reminder of who he had lost?

OH NO SHE SAID THAT, i mean honesty but 😭

“Where do you even get all those items from?” FR DOES SHE HAVE HAMMERSPACE IN THOSE POCKETS?? oh its coat pocket STILL

i wanna cry this is so aah 😭😭😭all thats in my head is oh tae tae tae my baby tae tae tae love are u ok im ok please be ok

“There are so many parts which I know you would call silly and each time I read such a part it hurts because I can’t read it to you and hear your laughter”, you say, eyes filling with tears, “a-and there are words I don’t understand. Foreign words you could explain to me and yet I am left in nescience and loneliness while just three flights down you have to suffer in this cold room” a tear fell omg this is really a first

He doesn’t smell like Taehyung. He smells like imprisonment and wet cellar. And you hate it because for weeks you had to seek his scent in his cold clothes only to find unfamiliarity in his chest. It hurts so much. And so you sob, pressing yourself closer and hoping that lesser distance can help you find your favourite scent. STOP RUBBING SALT INTO THE WOUND

OMG HE TALKED ABOUT THE PLACE

STOP TAE STOP SAYING THAT YOU ARE QUITE THE DICK FOR THAT BUT NOT THIS MUCH SUFFERING PLEASE

ik jimin my baby didnt deserve to die im mourning for him tae

Go on, ask Jungkook about Hong Kong 1975, ask Hoseok about Vienna 2002 and Seokjin, ask him about London 1888. Jack the Ripper, you know that legend?” OH SHIT, i mean we know they are vampires, and werent always sweetie pies, at least until they learn to control but damn

HEAR THAT YOONGI

ok she apologised SHE APOLOGISED YES 😭 AND HE SAID WHAT HE MEANT WITHOUT BEING RUDE THEY TALKED

I LOVE THEM FINALLY BECOMING HEALTHY FOR EACH OTHER

THEY KISSED MY PARENTS ARE KISSING wait no god no that was a mistake

THEM THEM THEM THEMT HEMT HEM

OH NO SHE SAID THAT, i mean honesty but 😭

like she is actually so dumb for that sorry but I'd have made out with boongie 😶

i wanna cry this is so aah 😭😭😭all thats in my head is oh tae tae tae my baby tae tae tae love are u ok im ok please be ok

NO BUT I WANNA FUCKING CRY MY TAE TAE 😭😭

“There are so many parts which I know you would call silly and each time I read such a part it hurts because I can’t read it to you and hear your laughter”, you say, eyes filling with tears, “a-and there are words I don’t understand. Foreign words you could explain to me and yet I am left in nescience and loneliness while just three flights down you have to suffer in this cold room” a tear fell omg this is really a first

honestly same :( I listened to really sad music I wrote this. Till this day I get reminded of writing these scenes when I listen to the song

He doesn’t smell like Taehyung. He smells like imprisonment and wet cellar. And you hate it because for weeks you had to seek his scent in his cold clothes only to find unfamiliarity in his chest. It hurts so much. And so you sob, pressing yourself closer and hoping that lesser distance can help you find your favourite scent. STOP RUBBING SALT INTO THE WOUND

SALT IS ALL I KNOW 😌

ik jimin my baby didnt deserve to die im mourning for him tae

NO BUT ME TOO 😭😭😭😭😭

Go on, ask Jungkook about Hong Kong 1975, ask Hoseok about Vienna 2002 and Seokjin, ask him about London 1888. Jack the Ripper, you know that legend?” OH SHIT, i mean we know they are vampires, and werent always sweetie pies, at least until they learn to control but damn

I love how this one single sentence just changes the entire view you have about Sanguis 😶

[azrielslostshadow]

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Hi guys!! If you clicked this link then that means you think I'm worth learning about so thank you! :)

I've decided to make this a bulleted list so that it's easier later on if I want to add something new lol

I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE ORCA WHALES THEY'RE THE MOST PERFECT ANIMALS ON THE WHOLE EARTH

i'm 19

i study art history and religion at my university

i'm mexican-american and i love love love my culture <3

i'm the oldest of four

my favorite color is brown (bc honestly its just so comforting)

i love learning new languages (rn its french and um... yeah i'm just gonna leave that there babe)

i'm a huge Hozier/Noah Kahan fan.

i'm also a swiftie (yo where tf can I get my own travis??)

my biggest pet peeve is when people pronounce the n in thank you (seriously it triggers something animalistic in me like just thinking about makes me want to literally smash my computer on the floor rn lmfao)

also i'm a proud seaworld anti!! FREE MY WHALES!! TILIKUM IS THE REAL VICTIM!

anyways... i also want to travel the world (pls if u know how and its cheap i would love u forever)

I'm a casual kpoppie but i used to listen more and would love to talk about it w/ people

also kdramas (and cdramas especially) are so so good and cute!!

my little sister is my favorite person in the whole world and i would give up every one of my dreams to make hers a reality.

i got into university in London but ended up going to some random state-side school to make my mom happy (i'm tempted to drop out and run away)

i tell everyone i'm a remus girl but really i think i'm a james girl and i can't admit that bc james and lily break my heart every second of the day

the best movie ever created is A Little Chaos by Alan Rickman (seriously its amazing and my comfort movie and if u like bridgerton this is like a calmer/ slower version w only one love interest and a super kind but also girlboss! female lead who falls for her boss who seems cold, but is actually a sweetheart and u will love it)

I want to move to mexico and reconnect with my roots for a year

i think that percy jackson is seriously the greatest man ever written

percabeth and peraltiago are my favorite fictional couples

okay i think thats good for now.... I'll update later when i think of something cool