#like literally give me ONE day where I don’t have to worry about one million things at once I swear to god

[digiditto]

oughggggghhhh sadboy era got HANDS

[cat3ch1sm]

you've made a lot of fics about killua, but never a general relationship headcanon? 🌸 could I request that?

By the way, I love the way you write the characters, it always feels pretty Canon and I enjoy reading your works a whole lot <33

🌱~ messages like this always make my day💚 than you so much!! im so happy you enjoy my works <33 more are on the way! ilysm 🫶🏾🫶🏾

these are way longer than i thought they were gonna be wow😭😭 turn out i have a whole bunch of killua relationship hcs in my brain and you seem to have broken the dam😭 i hope you like them lmaoo

𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬!

°˖ ⊹ ꒰🌱꒱ ♡ definitely don’t expect killua to be the sappy, super overly affectionate type. he will either call you a dumbass or stupid or some other insult. but when you protest he’ll just be like “whatt? i meant it in a nice way.”

killua is not a pda guy. the most he’ll do in public is hold your hand and even that’s a coin toss. he isn’t that fond of things like that anyway, but mostly he’s just worried that if an enemy of his sees you with him that they’ll target you in order to hurt killua. he’ll never admit that, though.

in private it is a different story. he lets you play with his hair and likes to lay with his head in your lap. once he fell asleep like that and woke up so embarrassed even though you told him over and over that it was fine and you thought it was cute, which just made it worse. it’s rare he’s the one initiating physical affection, but it does happen. it’s slightly awkward when you first start dating though, since obviously that’s a new concept to killua. i can definitely imagine him doing that yawn and stretch move when you’re watching a movie or something, but when you reciprocate his affection killua gets all flustered.

killua has legitimately no idea what to do in a romantic relationship. hell, he doesn’t know what a good family relationship should even look like, and he never made a friend until he was like 12, so healthy relationships are a foreign concept. he will be absolutely flabbergasted when you buy him gifts every once in a while just to make him happy, and he’s shocked when you buy him chocolate robots for Valentine’s Day, and he is beyond confused when you give him compliments or tell him that you love him.

killua always admonishes you when you buy him stuff. whenever you bring him something he’ll just stare at it and scoff. “why do you even bother buying me stuff? i’m rich enough to buy your whole family and more, so why do you even bother getting me stuff like this?”

he always takes it anyway so don’t even mind him. killua has a specific place where he keeps your gifts. when he’s away from home he keeps them on him in a knapsack or wherever he’s staying at the time, but when he’s at the zoldyck mansion, killua locks everything away in a box safely hidden and always keeps the key on him so his family can’t get to it.

speaking of his family. you are definitely out of your mind if you think killua is willingly taking you to meet them. absolutely not in a million years. if ever killua does need to go back to his home for something, usually to check on alluka, you are staying wherever you are until he gets back. he will also ask gon to keep an eye on you if gon happens to be traveling with you. killua would rather his family just not know about you at all lest the zoldycks do the same to you as they sometimes do with alluka- capture you, and then hold you over killua’s head and threaten you whenever they want him to do something.

okay enough with the angsty stuff and back to how literally clueless killua is about dating. when gon who is the rizz god for some fucking reason informs him that he needs to take you out on dates, killua is blindsided. at first he just takes you places he likes to go, like the skate park or heavens arena to watch fights, but gon pulls him aside again at some point and says that he needs to take you places that you enjoy. which is something that killua is kind of stubborn about at first, but he does actually want to make you happy, so he obliges.

there’s this post on like twitter or something where this guy is talking about how since spending time with his gf she has him watching stupid shit he would never watch like twilight or grey’s anatomy. that is basically what happens with killua. he’s doing stuff with you that he never thought he would do in a million years and enjoying it for whatever reason. don’t tell anyone though because he gets so embarrassed

one of the things he found out that he likes is wearing eyeliner. you made sone offhanded comment about it and that his eyes look like a cat’s and suddenly you were doing eyeliner for him. it took a lot of convincing, but when killua sees how good it looks on him, he’s asking you to do it for him every day. eventually you teach him how to do it himself as well

killua winds up going to gon a lot for relationship advice. what does he do when you’re sad? go to gon. what should he do for your birthday? ask gon! should he get you new shoes or a new jacket? what do you think, gon?

killua rarely lets you pay for stuff. he’s rich so he doesn’t see why he should

whenever you’re on your phone or reading a book or something, killua will randomly appear behind you and put his head on your shoulder and just watch what you’re doing in silence. but if he sees you’re doing something like online shopping, just scrolling through items, killua will tap the screen whenever he sees something he likes for you. he especially likes to pick out your clothes, and he’s actually good at it. unlike the going out on dates thing, he picks out what he thinks you will like and what looks good on you. honestly killua was the only character who actually changed clothes every day in the show so he’s good with fashion lmao. most of the time he’ll buy the item for you too

killua also doesn’t mind too much if you steal his clothes, like his hoodies or hats. he might not let you take the newer stuff, but he doesn’t mind letting you parade around in his clothes. on the flip side he will also steal some of yours.

killua is very much that bf who claims “im not hungry” but then proceeds to steal half your food. so you’ve learned that whenever he says that to order twice the food

around people he knows, mainly people he doesn’t like, killua likes to show you off- but in a subtler way. like he might casually hold your hand just to show everyone “yeah, i have a partner. no big deal haha”

you literally never have to worry about killua cheating on you. he is fiercely loyal. he’s not one of those bfs that, when approached by another girl or guy, is like “oh, im sorry, but i have a partner.” nah he’s sprinting full speed in the opposite direction of whoever’s trying to approach him. either that or he’s just super rude to anyone who asks for his number or is romantically interested in him.

*cue random mf who wants him* “hi! i thought you seemed really cool and i wanted to know if-“

“nah i got a partner”

“well i just was wondering-“

“fuck out my face im dating someone”

“just-“

“hell nah”

in addition to that, killua is very much the jealous type. if you haven’t watched the phantom rouge movie go watch it rn and tell me killua isn’t jealous. anyone else who makes you smile or laugh or makes the mistake of touching you, killua instantly hates. he always makes sure to be there whenever you’re around that person. situations like that are an exception to his PDA rule- he’ll throw an arm around your shoulder or waist if he’s feeling really protective, or hold your hand. he doesn’t get jealous about gon, though- all three of you are friends and he knows for sure gon wouldn’t try anything on you in a million years.

killua may or may not go a little overboard with his jealousy at times, though. he might mistake a simple interaction for someone trying to get with you

“yo, y/n- why was that guy talking to you?”

“*long sigh* killua. how else was he going to take my order?”

killua is on the protective side and doesn’t really like for you to be out without him or gon. if you aren’t back within a certain timeframe he’ll start spamming your phone with texts and calls to make sure you’re okay.

from: killua @ 10:56 pm

“yo”

“yo”

“y/n”

“yo”

“you good”

“heLLOOOO”

“you’re supposed to answer me im your boyfriend”

“why do you hate me”

“are u alive”

“are u alive”

“come back”

“pls”

“where u at”

“it’s almost 11”

“if ur dead im going to kill u”

“ANSWER BRO”

from: y/n @ 10:57

“HOW DID YOU SEND SIXTEEN FUCKING MESSAGES IN THE SPAN OF ONE MINUTE”

from: killua @ 10:57

“:3”

[marycorcaroli]

zoro and sanji with a reader who is insecure about her scars.

hurt/comfort, my fav boys.

req ♡ : hiii 🥹🩷 i don’t know if you do requests or are accepting them rn but i was wondering if u could write something for sanji and or zoro abt a reader with like scars from fighting or something and reader is insecure about them but they make reader feel better abt it 🥹 love ur blog ur stuff is soooo cute i love it i hope ur having a good day/night!!

mary ♡ : thank you for your request ! ! i enjoyed writing this so much that i even cried a little :( love your scars ! they are part of you and they make you individual 🫂💌 hope you enjoy it ! english is not my first language, i apologize for the mistakes.

rules ; masterlist.

sanji.

— he knows all about your scars and knows where you got them from. deep down, sanji wishes he could have prevented you from getting them and helped you when you needed his help and he wasn't there, and you could say he blames himself a little.

— he will notice how you look at them every time you look at them and your gaze grows dim, the sparkle in your eyes dims and your shoulders slump more and more with every exhale, you feel so bad about them and sanji is trying to help you, he will do everything in his power so that you can see the beauty in what you have.

— sanji will always be there for you when that moment comes again and you need support, he will be there for you, you don't have to worry, he will never leave you again.

— he wants you to tell him the burden you carry with you to this day, sanji will listen to you carefully, his eyes fixed on you.

"you know, sanji, they're horrible, aren't they? god, they're everywhere, i just can't live with myself because of it...i just h-" you hadn't finished your words before sanji's palms cupped your cheeks and brought them close to your face.

"let me stop you here kitten. please, i want you to know-" sanji's eyes became glassy like he was about to cry, unable to stand the way you hate yourself. "this, this and this — are you and your actions, the way you protected everyone and were brave, your heart is the strongest i've ever met, your soul is the kindest i've ever met. people appreciate you and love you, they know about your scars and they are grateful to you because you saved them and gave them a chance to live, so why don't you give yourself a chance? i'll help you, i'll be there for you, you know i'll never leave you."

— sanji has rarely ever been this sad, usually he doesn't show his emotions at all, but you make him feel so much. you made him a man with a pure soul again and gave him a chance at the love he wanted so badly and that's why he can't stand your sadness.

— he'll kiss every scar you have and say how beautiful they are.

"look, this one? oh, honey, it's so beautiful! i'll kiss it a million times, it makes you look so beautiful and even with it, you're the most beautiful person on this earth."

— he will never let you feel bad about it again, you will get the kindest words in your direction and the brightest smile from sanji, my god he will make you smile no matter what.

zoro.

— oh i think zoro is not good with his words, he is generally silent and not used to expressing his emotions, but the situation with you will not allow him to be silent. you are literally killing yourself around him and he can't do anything? his heart breaks into a thousand pieces when he sees your blank stare and all the pain in them.

— even if you say "it's okay, i'm fine" he will realize that nothing is okay, zoro knows you too well and knows the reason for your heavy sighs.

— he'll start by coming over to you and hugging you as tightly as he can and kissing your temple, trying to convey his warmth and support.

"zoro-"

— before you can say anything else, zoro's lips will join yours and give you the most tender kiss, conveying half of what he couldn't have said. pulling back to breathe a little, zoro will look deep into your eyes, where he always sees his past, present and future, and tell you what he wanted to say a long time ago.

"um, i'm not the best when i need to be, but you are very precious to me and i want you to know how much i love you. remember? you taught me to love myself and to love what i hate. i was alone, but then you came into my life and you saved me, you were the strongest, you came to me and you weren't afraid of anything, i've never met anyone like you before. you went to any lengths to get what you wanted and your scars are proof of that, because you became a leader for everyone, you led people and gave them protection, you were beaten, you fell a lot, but you always got up with your head held high and i love you for that-"

— zoro began to pant in his speech, afraid to say something too much or not to say something.

— he kisses your scars every day and runs his fingers over them, smiling at you with all his teeth so that you realize that your scars are the most beautiful and have a story behind them, you shouldn't be afraid of them or hate them.

— but also zoro will not let anyone else hurt you because of them. he will literally kill those people if they make you cry. yes you are strong but every strong man needs support and he will be yours by doing everything for you, he will go all over the earth and get you what you need if it makes you happy, he is not afraid of anything if it makes your day better.

[lays-little-world]

ZB1 as types of hugs

Hey !!! I want to put out zb1 content. So I got this idea about how the zb1 members would hug their partner and I couldn’t get this thought out of my head. Then I tried to put it in words and that’s the result. I’m quite new to this and I hope that you will like it. Feel free to let me know your thoughts and hopefully you enjoy my content. Here we go.

Jiwoong - straddle hugs

It is safe to say that Jiwoong and you know what’s best for the other one

So when you come home to see him waiting for you, you can only think about embracing him

As it’s quite the routine, you straddle his lap and lean against his upper body where you can finally calm down

Jiwoong slings his arms around you body and sometimes pets over your head

While hugging, you can smell his cologne which makes you feel secure and comfortable

You stay in this position for a while and talk about your day and anything you can think of

You love the intimacy you have and that you can always count on Jiwoong

Zhang Hao - hugs with resting head

Zhang Hao loves to be your protecter in this relationship

He'll be your biggest fan and greatest supporter

He can easily detect when your energy is low and just need to be hugged

So he'll wrap his arm around you torso and let’s you lean your head against his shoulders

That’s when you can finally relax and forget about all the stress and the things that are bothering you

Zhang Hao will gladly listen to all your worries and will do his best to lift your mood and put a smile on your face

Hanbin - cuddle hugs

Although people might not expect it, Hanbin and you enjoy your private time

This is where you can be yourself and feel comfortable

So when you watch a movie while laying on the couch, you start by leaning against each other

But you'll end up bodies cuddled up which you secretly like a lot

You'll start to play with his hands while watching the movie

You love his embrace and it makes you feel loved and like nothing can go wrong

In these times you realize that you couldn’t be luckier to have Hanbin in your life

Matthew - eye to eye hugs

For Matthew, physical affection is a key part in your relationship

He uses it as a tool to make sure that you are alright and content

So after a rather hectic and stressful day, he loves to hug you while looking deep into your eyes

He feels like he can see into the depths of your soul and connected with you

During the hug you feel protected and as if all your worries will just disappear into thin air because you know that Matthew will be there for you

You just love the way Matthew makes you feel at home and understood, like nothing can harm you when he’s by your side

Taerae - bear hugs

Taerae and you know how to balance each other

You don’t have to talk and he knows what made you upset

So he'll give you the tightest bear hug ever that will make you think of nothing else but him

All your worries will wash away and he listens to everything you want to say

You love that a simple act of affection makes you feel protected and at ease

You understand each other without verbally communicating and always know what the other needs

Taerae is your safe space and makes you feel loved and appreciated

Ricky - hugs at the waist

Ricky’s and yours relationship has always been a little flirty

You just have to tease each other all the time

So it’s no surprise that Ricky will eventually get a bit jealous

That’s when he'll put his hands at your waist, pull you close to him and make you look close into his sparkling eyes

Although it’s a quite simple act, this kind of affection will literally make your heart beat a million times faster and let’s you forget everything around you

You just can’t believe that you can call a person like Ricky your own

Gyuvin - hugs with twirling

You can only describe your relationship as goofy and teasing

It’s rare to see a moment when you two aren’t bickering or poking at each other

That’s the reason that when Gyuvin wants to show his affection for you, he just can’t help himself and has to be a little mean

So when he approaches you to hug you, he embraces you tightly and lifts you of the ground

As if that isn’t enough torture, he'll start to spin you around while he laughs his ass off

When he finally let’s you touch the ground again, you can only laugh at your goofy boyfriend and slap his arm as revenge

But all the unexpected and random displays of affection are the reason why you love him so much

Gunwook - catching hugs

Gunwook and you really value the time you spend together

So after not seeing each other for quite a while, all you wanted to do is to be in Gunwook’s embrace and nowhere else

All you could do when you saw him waiting for you, smiling, was to run straight at him

Although he was surprised at the impact, he still caught you and hold you as tight as possible

You nuzzled your head into his neck and wouldn’t dare to let go of him

You realize that you could stay in this moment forever and can’t think of someone that makes you this happy

Yujin - back hugs

Yujin and you are not the biggest fans of affection and showing pda.

Nonetheless, you still love to show your love for one another from time to time

You made it a habit to startle each other

That’s the reason why one of you will sneak up behind the other and wrap their arms around the other’s torso

You especially love the cute gasp Yujin let’s out when you startled him

The sound would always make you laugh and Yujin had no choice but to join the laughter

In the end, you'll stay in this position and just enjoy the presence of each other

[bullet-clubs-bitch]

Wardaddy

Summary: Reader finds out she's pregnant  after she lost her title at double or nothing. Will the nickname she jokingly gave her boyfriend “Wardaddy” gain a whole other meaning?  

An: I found this fit in my drafts, wrote it months ago but for some reason never published it? Enjoy, and pls remember to give Wardlow requests in my inbox

Word count: 1132

Main Masterlist Wardlow Masterlist

The internet was a weird place. You always hated the bird app with all of its negativity and BS but here you were scrolling on twitter after you found out why you were trending.  

Your face was shocked when you saw the amount of negative comments regarding your relationship with Wardlow. Sure he was 8 years older than you but for the most part everyone had been supportive of it. It was the AEW locker room who kept trying to set the two of you up for the longest time. You were quite confused on why all of a sudden it was now they were concerned with it. A few months ago you were deemed the power couple of all elite wrestling, on the top of the company both of you holding championships. You had just ended a feud with your real life best friend Britt Baker and her long time boyfriend Adam Cole. 

The fans loved it, mixed tag matches were surprisingly uncommon in aew so when they became a regular occurrence in your feud the fans were quick to eat it all up.

Having had enough of social media for the day you stepped into catering for the first time after losing your championship  two weeks ago at double or nothing. You ran into Britt who had beat you in a no DQ match for the women's championship. 

“Sup, Champ” You called to your friend

“Hey Mama, how’s it going” Britt replied back

“Not much, I'm literally starving. I’ve been oddly hungry the past few days and more bloated than usual.” you said hand on your stomach looking at all of the different options catering had to offer. 

Britt laughed, handing you a plate. The two of you got some food before you found somewhere quiet to eat. Far away from all of the cameras and wrestlers. While you enjoyed your food Britt asked you…

“How’s your shoulder doing?” 

“It can be better, still hurts like a son of a bitch though” you replied, looking down at your shoulder that had been taped together in a million different ways

“Sorry about that again” She apologized knowing she was the cause of your injury

“Why are you sorry, shit happens.” You said a little bit confused on why she kept apologizing. The injury wasn’t even her fault. You were the one that called out the spot with the steps. 

“Medical won’t clear me quite yet, hopefully within the next few weeks or so” you responded oddly calmly, secretly upset you weren't able to compete in the show tonight. 

“Good luck out there tonight, tho. I hope you kick Thunder Rosa’s Ass!” 

“I will don’t worry” Britt responded laughing 

Time skip: 4 weeks later 

“Is it still that bad?” Your boyfriend Wardlow called through the door of your hotel bathroom. 

“I feel like my insides are falling out” you said in agony clutching your stomach as you threw up whatever you had left in your stomach. 

“Can I come in?” he asked nervously 

“No! I'm hideous go away” your words laced with venom as they left your lips. 

The medical staff had finally cleared you to return on this week's episode of Dynamite but your body had other ideas. You felt like you were dying and your poor boyfriend had no idea what to do. He tried his very best and you appreciated it but it came to the point where you just wanted to be alone. You cleaned up and finally stepped out of the bathroom to be greeted by Wardlow. He handed you some fresh clothes. As you were putting on your shirt you looked down at your stomach.

“Did I gain weight” you said as you looked in the mirror

“I think you look fine Y/N” Wardlow replied annoyed you would ask such a question 

“No honestly, I think I did” 

“Y/N, your probably just bloated” he replied rolling his eyes

“Whatever” you scoffed 

You arrived to the arena, looking and feeling like shit. You decided to stop by the doctor to let them know that you weren't feeling the best, all it took was one of the doctors to look at the dark circles under your eyes and pale look in your skin to deem you uncleared for the show tonight. It made you feel like shit, working hard with physios to get your shoulder better only to catch some bug before your return. Thankfully Britt wasn’t booked for the show tonight so the two of you could hang out and watch the show from one of the skyboxes in the arena. 

“So you are still not feeling good?” Britt asked, curiously 

“Yep, I don’t know how this is even possible but I feel like I’m getting worse” You told her truthfully. 

“When was the last time you got your period?” Britt asked, shit, you never even thought about that

“Ummm maybe a few months ago” 

“Have you ever thought that you might be pregnant?” 

“I mean we are careful but that would explain a lot of things”  

“Since we both have nothing to do, how bout we leave the arena, grab a few tests and we can go back to the hotel and see. I’m sure you don’t want to take a test in the locker room with all those nosey people” 

That is exactly what the two of you did, you told your respective partners to meet back at the hotel and let everyone else know that you would be hedging out for the evening. You and Brit ended up getting four different kinds of tests and a few goodies to bring back to the hotel. Unfortunately a fan recognized the two of you at the CVS that just so happened to be next to your hotel. Lying, you said the pregnancy tests were for a segment for the next BTE, now you somehow would have to tell the bucks to include some kind of skit involving pregnancy tests in next week's episode to keep true to your lie. 

Currently you and Britt sat on top of the hotel bed, munching on some chips as you both stared at the blinking screen of the pregnancy test. “How long is this going to take? I feel like we have been sitting here forever” You asked Britt. “According to this it says 5 minutes” Britt responded. 

Just then the test stopped flashing. ‘Pregnant 4-6 weeks’ 

You and Britt had no idea what to say, the two of you in shock at what you were seeing. You were first to break the silence “This has to be wrong. No way I’m pregnant” 

Sure enough you were pregnant. You took 5 more to make sure, all 6 tests saying the same thing. What was Wardlow going to think? 

[writingforcuteppl]

Enchanted (Kyle’s Version)

PAIRING: Kyle Broflovski x Reader

SUMMARY: Remembering can be bittersweet, and each and one of them have been since you were little. That doesn’t mean all the memories are joyful. But in the end, you were enchanted to meet them.

GENRE: Angst, Fluff.

WARNINGS: Swearing, mention of eating disorders, depression, panic attacks, bullying (if you squint).

WORD COUNT: 5.3k words

PART: 2.1 (series masterlist)

3rd Grade

“This is our first year together, right?” you turned your gaze to the redhead boy who sat down next to you. You were waiting for one of your friends to arrive, or well, you were expecting him to be in the same class as you.

“Yeah. You’re Kyle, right?” you asked him. Even if you were in different classes, you knew who he was since it was easy to hear the girls in your class and his class talk about the cute redhead boy all the time.

“And you must be Y/n. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”

“You know who am I?”

“Well, last year I was in the same class as Kenny, who I know is your best friend. He just couldn’t stop talking about this fantastic friend he has.” you smiled.

“Yeah, he is my best friend. I hope he didn’t say anything bad tho. I’d punch him if he did.”

“Don’t worry. He didn’t. But I wished he at least mentioned you were cute” You hid your face in your hands. You felt your heart’s pace get quicker. You turned your head to Kyle.

“I think you are cute too.”

“It’s recess time. You’re supposed to be eating” Kyle sat beside you on the ground.

“I forgot my lunch,” you sighed. “And well, I’m not really fond of the idea of eating a ham sandwich again for the 100th time.”

“You are telling me all these days I’ve seen you eat a sandwich. It has been a ham sandwich every time?” You nodded, and Kyle was shocked. He always thought there were variations of it. “You’re kidding.”

“I wish I was. It’s just I know my mom tries hard to prepare me something for lunch, but I actually wish I could have something more for lunch. Or at least that the sandwich had more than just ham. I saw one picture where a sandwich had lettuce and tomatoes. That would be nice.”

“So it’s literally two slices of bread with a slice of ham in the middle?”

“Yeah.”

“You know what? I’m not letting that continue. Here have half of my lunch” Kyle gave you 4 pieces out of the 8 nuggets his mom sent him for lunch. “I’ll tell my mom to pack an extra portion from now on.”

“Kyle, I can’t accept, look, I can tell my mom to give me money for lunch,” you lied to him. You knew pretty well your mom wouldn’t give you money since she thought you would spend it on something else.”

“I won’t take no for an answer. We can give your sandwich to pigeons or another animal so it wouldn’t go to waste, but I’m not letting you keep eating only that. You need proper food at this age.” you sighed. You looked at Kyle directly into his eyes. He wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

“Fine, but let me repay you in some way.”

“I’ll think about it.”

4th Grade

“Are you gonna tell me what happened?” you turned around to where the voice was coming from. Kyle was standing behind you.

“What do you mean?” you were finishing packing up your stuff, ready to go home, when Kyle stopped you before leaving the classroom.

“Don’t try to hide it from me. I can see it in your face. Something happened last Christmas, and you haven’t been the same. I tried to not bother you for the past months, but you’re not the same” Kyle was able to see how you were trying to come up with something, but he knew he wasn’t going to get any information from you. “Just, I want you to know that if you ever need anything, you can count on me, Y/n.”

Kyle was ready to leave the classroom when you grabbed his wrist and pulled him in for a hug. The first hug the two of you shared. Kyle hugged you back, and he realized you had started crying. He didn’t know what to say next, but he knew something. He hated seeing you like this, making his heart break into a million pieces. You didn’t say anything at all. You stayed like that for what felt like an eternity until you could calm yourself. You really wanted to say something about what happened to you to Kyle, but it was way too personal.

“Thanks, Kyle. Maybe one day I’ll tell you, ok?” Kyle only nodded and kissed your wet cheek.

“What are you still doing here, Y/n? I thought you always leave with Kenny” Kyle saw you standing at the school’s entrance as if you were waiting for someone, no, for something to leave the school.

“Yeah, well, he wasn’t feeling good today and left early. His mom picked him up.”

“And why are you still here? It’s been 20 minutes since everyone has left.”

“I can ask you the same, Kyle.”

“Well, I needed some help from Mr. Garrison for my project, so I stayed behind. And you?” Kyle was looking at you, and you hid your face in your hands. He smiled.

“Promise not to laugh” You handed out your left hand to him with your pinky out while your right hand was still covering your face. Kyle linked his pinky to yours.

“I promise” For the first time since he found you, you were able to look at him in the eyes.

“It’s just that… Agh, this is so embarrassing. But I haven’t been by myself in the streets ever. And I know my house is just a couple blocks away, but I’m scared. My parents always came for me until the beginning of this year, and that’s when Kenny offered to walk me to my house every day. But today he’s sick, so this will be the first time I’m walking alone….” Kyle didn’t laugh as you expected, but he was smiling. He felt his heart flutter. You were just way too pure.

“I understand, but you know you can’t stay here forever.”

“It’s been only 20 minutes Kyle. I’m just waiting for the courage to come to me. I’m a big girl now,” you answered back.

“Oh well, I was going to offer to walk you home, but since you are a big girl, you can do it by yourself” Kyle started to walk outside the school when he felt your hands grab his arm. Kyle couldn’t help but smirk.

“WAIT! Since you’re offering, how can I say no to you, my dearest friend!” Kyle could see your relieved semblance. He noticed one of your hands never left his arm. Actually, he was able to feel your hand slowly making its way to his hand until you were holding hands. Kyle looked at you and then at your hands which were now intertwined. You looked at him with questioning eyes until you realized what you were doing.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. It’s just that I’m just so used to holding Kenny’s hand.” you were trying to let go of Kyle’s hand, but his grip was stronger.

“I’m not gonna let you go. I like it. You started it. Now commit to it.” You laughed and stopped trying to let go of him.

“If Kenny’s not able to walk you home, tell me. I will love to do it, ok?”

“Ok.”

5th Grade

“So you won’t believe who I saw crying outside Mr. Mackey’s office,” Wendy said to Red and Bebe.

“Omg, who?” Kyle rolled his eyes after hearing the girls gossiping once again when they should be helping him, and Kenny prepare the next project Mr. Garrison assigned.

“Y/n,” Kyle and Kenny froze. “She was literally bawling; she-”

“When?” before she could finish the sentence, Kyle interrupted her.

“A few moments ago. Why do you-” Kenny and Kyle didn’t even wait for her to finish when they made their way to Mr. Garrison. He was reading something on his phone, not even bothering if his students were working on their projects at all.

“Mr. Garrison, can we leave for a few minutes, please?” Kenny asked him. Kyle was able to see his nervousness.

“Why would I let you do that, Kenny?” Mr. Garrison turned his gaze to the two boys standing in front of him.

“A friend of ours, Y/n, we heard she’s not feeling right, and we want to make sure she’s ok. I promise we will return as soon as we make sure she’s fine, please.” Kyle answered, and Mr. Garrison was able to see the two kids were anxious. He saw they were telling the truth and not only a lie to leave class without permission. Mr. Garrison handed them the hall pass.

“Don’t get distracted and come back after making sure she ok.” Mr. Garrison returned his attention to his phone, and Kyle and Kenny quickly left the classroom.

Kyle and Kenny were running to Mr. Mackey’s office. Kyle felt his heart beating so hard. Something definitely happened to you if you were crying in public. The closer they were getting to the office, the more he felt his heart coming out of his chest.

They saw you sitting on one of the chairs that were outside the counselor’s office. Kyle could see Mr. Mackey was trying to calm you down, but you were still crying, and it didn’t seem you were stopping any time soon.

Kyle realized it wasn’t only crying. He could see your scared semblance. Kenny ran to you and knelt in front of you. Kyle got closer to Mr. Mackey and showed him the hall pass. Mr. Mackey just nodded and thought maybe your two friends would help better than him. He left the three of you to talk.

“Princess,” Kenny started to speak, trying to get your attention. Kyle saw the way you were holding your chest. You looked at Kenny and tried to talk, but it seemed that whenever you tried to speak, your breathing started to become more hectic than it already was. You were having a panic attack. Kyle saw Kenny also begin to cry, not knowing what was happening to you. That’s when Kyle stepped in.

“Hey, I need you to breathe with me, ok?” Kyle grabbed your attention and placed one hand over your hands that were still on your chest. You only nodded to him. He took one of your hands over his chest so you could feel his breathing. You slowly started to calm down, but the tears continued rolling out of your eyes. The two of you stayed like that until Kyle could see you were ok. Kyle smiled at you.

“You did great, sweetheart.” you only nodded.

“What are you doing here?” you asked them.

“We came as soon as we heard you were crying,” Kenny said, and you were able to see his puffy face.

“I didn’t want you to worry. I’m sorry” You almost started to cry again after realizing the two of them got worried because of you. Kenny knelt again in front of you and grabbed your face by the cheeks.

“Hey, hey, don’t you dare to think anything bad at this moment.” Kenny began cleaning your tears with his sweatshirt sleeve.

“Wanna talk about it?” Kyle asked you while he was tucking a strand of your hair in your ear. You shook your head, wanting anything but to remember the reason for your attack.

“Don’t you have to get back to class?” you asked worriedly. Your teacher knew you were with Mr. Mackey, but you knew they only had permission to leave for just a few moments since you could see the hall pass hanging from Kyle’s hand. Before they could answer you, Mr. Mackey came out of his office.

“You are better, Miss Y/L/N?” You nodded and gave your counselor a reassuring smile. “Then I believe you have to get to class, the three of you. If you need to talk, my door’s always open, kids.”

“Thanks, Mr. Mackey,” Kyle answered him, and the counselor returned to his usual spot in his office.

Kyle and Kenny were both grabbing your hands while walking back to your classroom. Having them by your side always made you feel at peace. When the three of you arrived at your classroom, Kenny kissed you on the cheek.

“We’re gonna talk later when school finishes, ok? Wait for me here.” Kenny moved away so Kyle could say goodbye to you.

“Just if you feel it’s going to start again, try breathing slowly, ok?” you nodded, and he gave you a sweet kiss on the forehead.

“Thank you, guys,” you whispered and entered your classroom. Kyle and Kenny let out a loud sigh. They may not have that much in common now, but they knew they would do anything for you.

6th Grade

Kyle saw you laying your head on your desk. He couldn’t quite see if you were just resting or if you actually fell asleep. He knows for a fact you haven’t been sleeping properly for quite some time now, so he doesn’t want to disturb you if you’re asleep.

He slowly made his way to the chair that was free next to you and sat down. Kyle could see your face better. You were definitely asleep. Your face was peaceful, and not a glimpse of stress was on it. You looked like an angel to him. Well, you always looked like one to him. Ever since he met you, he has thought you were way too perfect to be actually real.

“So pretty,” Kyle whispered.

Kyle was able to admit he was now in love with you. But unfortunately, he wasn’t going to be ever with you, all because of that stupid pact he made a few years ago with Stan and Kenny. He regretted that pact ever since he realized you were his everything.

He tucked a strain of hair that was covering your face in your ear. He tried to not wake you up, but of course, he managed to wake you up. You yawned and opened your eyes, trying to adjust your sight to the classroom’s light.

“I didn’t mean to wake you up, sweetheart. Sorry,” You didn’t care you woke you up, and most importantly, you didn’t mind if Kyle was the one who did it. You smiled at him.

“Don’t worry, I wasn’t fully asleep. I was just, you know, resting” You stretched out your arms and then grabbed one of Kyle’s hands, reassuring him it was ok.

“So… You think I’m pretty?” you asked the boy, and Kyle felt his cheeks burning.

“Yeah, I mean, you know you’re pretty right,” you let out a laugh.

“Oh, so you just said it because you think I think I’m pretty?” you asked.

“No.” Kyle knew it was now or never. “I do think you are pretty. Really pretty.” you smiled at him.

“I think you’re pretty, too, Kyle. Really pretty.” Kyle wasn’t used to hearing compliments, so when he heard those words coming out from you, his heart was ready to come out of his chest.

Kyle slowly started to approach you. You could see his face getting closer and closer to yours, and you held your breath. Could this be it? Was Kyle gonna be your first kiss? Kyle grabbed your right cheek and stroked it with his thumb.

"Fuck the stupid pact!" Kyle thought. He was looking at your eyes and then at your lips, going back and forth, just wanting to make sure you enjoyed this as much as he did. You smiled at him. That was enough reassurance for him to keep going forward. Since he was getting closer, you were able to perceive his smell. Cinnamon and apple. He smelled sweet. Before he could actually kiss you, he stopped just mere inches away from you.

“Tell me if you want me to stop.”

“I don’t want you to stop.” He smiled. Your lips were almost touching…

“Y/n!” Kenny entered the classroom shouting and looking for you. You and Kyle pulled apart before Kenny could see the closeness between the two of you. When you turned your head to the door, you were able to see Kenny was making his way to you, and Stan was looking at Kyle with anger. You wanted to ask Kyle about it, but you decided to brush it off and ask Kenny what he needed.

“I forgot we had an exam today. Can you please, please, please help me?” Kenny was giving you puppy eyes. Kenny knew he interrupted one really important moment for you, so he knew he needed to be extra sweet and careful with you.

“I swear to god, Kenny, you are so... God, why do you have to be so inopportune?”

“But you love me.”

“Yeah, whatever. You owe me big time, McCormick” You turned your head to Kyle and muttered a “Sorry” to him. You stood up so you could follow Kenny, but before leaving, you turned around and went back to Kyle and kissed him quickly on the cheek. You didn’t give him a usual kiss tho. It was tender and sweet. Kyle smiled.

“Maybe another time,” you whispered in his ear and gave him another quick kiss on the cheek.

You were sure Kyle Broflovski was going to be your first kiss someday.

8th Grade

Kyle was nervous. He went away for one year. Not only because his dad decided to move to San Francisco due to work, but he was also an important factor in his father’s decision. He needed time to forget whatever feelings he had for you.

The last time he was at South Park, he got into a fight with Stan and Kenny since he wanted to break the pact where the three of them decided that none of them were going to be ever with you for the sake of their friendship. Still, at the end of the day, the two of them were the closest ones, so why did he have to be involved in that pact too?

Anyways, Kyle was sure those feelings were long forgotten in San Francisco. He was really sure if he saw you again, he wouldn’t feel anything at all. And then you entered the classroom. Kyle’s breathing got stuck in his lungs.

You were different. He was gone for a whole year, and you were completely different, at least in his eyes. He could see your face, your eyes seemed lost, but they still had that same light he fell in love with. Your hair was longer. Physically you were skinnier. That definitely was something that changed the most. And, of course, last but not least, your smile. You always managed to smile, but he saw it wasn’t as sincere as before.

Kyle couldn’t help but notice the person that was on your left side. Kenny. Of course, he was there with you, but that was also different this time. He seemed more alert. As if he was protecting something, in this case, you. His demeanor was scary. Kenny was able to see Kyle was in the classroom before you were able to notice him, so he covered your view so you wouldn’t see him. Kyle’s blood started to boil. Who does he think he is? It took all the strength Kyle had for him to not go up to Kenny and start a fight.

Your first teacher of the day came into the classroom and started to talk about what you were going to be learning during that school year when they noticed Kyle was back.

“Well, look who came back! I don’t think it is necessary to introduce you to your old classmates, am I right, Mr. Broflovski?”

The mention of Kyle’s last name grabbed your attention really fast. You turned your head to where your teacher was looking, and for the first time in what you felt were months, you actually smiled out of happiness. You locked eyes with Kyle, and your heart skipped out of your chest. He was indeed back.

Your Kyle was finally back after a year. At that moment, you couldn’t care less if he just left without anyone noticing. You were so happy he was back in town. You waved at him, and he mouthed a “Hi” to you and gave you the sweetest smile. Kyle was definitely not over you and doesn’t think he will ever be.

“You seem different, sweetheart” You turned around and saw Kyle, who was sitting down on the entrance stairs.

“What do you mean, Kyle?”

“I’m gonna be completely honest with you right now, and I really hope you don’t get offended, but since the first day of school, I realized you were different, as if you were a whole new person… Something happened while I was gone, didn’t it?” you sighed. You tend to forget Kyle was way too observant and way too smart. Of course he was going to notice your change of attitude and your physical change.

“I cannot hide anything from you, Kyle…” You were debating if it was actually a good idea to tell Kyle everything that happened over the year he was gone. In the end, Kyle was one of the people you could truly trust, or at least he used to be. “What do you want to know?”

“Tell me everything, Y/n,” you were preparing yourself mentally. You promised yourself you would never let Kyle see you in such a bad physical and mental state, but at this point, you needed help. The only people who know what has affected you in so many ways during the last year were Kenny and Bebe, but you were starting to feel you were such a burden. Maybe Kyle could help better.

“Well, a lot has happened since you were gone for over a year. First of all, it was unfortunate when I didn’t see you on the first day of 7th grade. I felt like a piece of me had been missing for over a year. You know how important you are to me, Kyle. I should’ve taken that as a sign that it would be such a horrible year,” you chuckled.

You tried to smile, but Kyle noticed all the pain you had collected over a year. He grabbed your hand, and you continued. “I really tried to at least give the best and tried to stay positive, but there were these comments going around of how I looked at that if I continued doing whatever I was doing and eating, I was going to end up being as big as a fucking pig. I really tried to not pay attention to those comments, but the fact that even my own family and parents were saying those types of comments really took a toll on me. I’m pretty sure you did notice that change, am I right, Kyle?” Kyle only nodded.

“And, of course, my parents. I mean, you may remember how they were, right? Well, now they are worse. They don’t really see me as their daughter but only as a machine that has to do everything perfectly. They don’t see me as a human being anymore. They also expect me to be perfect at school, but mentally I just can’t….” you didn’t realize when you started to cry. The tears were rolling down your cheeks. “I want them to love me, and I know that if I’m a good student, they will finally be proud of me and tell me they love me, but I just can’t seem to do school right. I’m just useless.”

You cleaned the tears with your sleeve. Kyle was surprised and sad at the same time. He could see that those negative feelings affected you way too much. He felt his heart sink into his chest. He wrapped one arm around you, and you leaned into his shoulder and closed your eyes.

You were exhausted. Your parents and school have been really hard to handle, and at this point, you wanted everything to just stop. Maybe you were going to regret telling all of this to Kyle later today, but as for now, it felt good the way he was holding you as if you were the most fragile thing in the world that could break at any moment. You were really enjoying the physical contact.

“You are not useless.”

“I’m literally so fucking useless right now, Kyle. I’m unable to do anything right, and over the last year, my grades have just gotten worse and worse. I’m not the smart girl you used to know.”

“I don’t think grades get to tell how good or bad a person is. What you do is what matters.”

“Fuck, that’s even worse.” you tried to joke and laugh, but Kyle realized you were really thinking that poorly of yourself.

“I’m serious, Y/n” Kyle wanted to keep talking and show you how much of a fantastic person you were, but he realized he wouldn’t be able to change your point of view of yourself anytime soon. Whatever your parents have told you really affected the way you perceived yourself. He kissed you on your forehead. “I can tell people have hurt you so much over the past year, but now I’m here, and I’m not letting anyone hurt you anymore, sweetheart. Got it?”

“You sure you ok, sweetheart?” Kyle wanted to know what happened between you and Kenny. Everyone in the class could see that you and Kenny weren’t even acknowledging each other.

For the past 7 almost 8 years, you and Kenny were inseparable, so this was just new territory for Kyle and a shocker for everyone else. The two of you were supposed to be reading and making a summary of whatever new book your English teacher assigned this month.

You only nodded, not even looking up from your book, and Kyle understood you didn’t want to talk about it. A part of him (the most selfish part) was pleased Kenny wasn’t next to you 24/7, but of course, the other part hated to see you so distraught.

“He’s an asshole if he can’t see what an amazing person he had by his side.”

“He’s not an asshole...” you closed your eyes and tried to calm yourself. Even if you weren’t on speaking terms with Kenny, you still believed he was the best thing you could’ve had. “You think that?”That I'm an amazing person?” you finally looked at him, trying to change the subject.

“Of course, I think that.” Kyle tugged one strand of hair that was falling into your ear, and you smiled at him. Kyle always managed to make you feel better. You leaned into his shoulder.

“I just, I really don’t know what the hell happened. I mean, yeah, we fought a few weeks ago, but we made up, or well, at least I think we did. I don’t understand why he just started to ignore me and treat me like I’m the worst person he’s ever met.”

Kyle glanced at Kenny, who was not far from the two of you, and he could see the anger and betrayal he was feeling. He couldn’t believe Kenny was playing the victim in all of this, and he couldn’t quite understand why you didn’t do anything to at least make Kenny understand it wasn’t your fault, either.

“You know what’s the worse part? I don’t even know what I did. It looks like I did something to him and Bebe, but I’ve tried to remember everything that happened for those weeks, and I’m unable to piece any of it.” Kyle didn’t stop looking at Kenny during all that moment.

Definitely, Kenny was ready to pick up a fight with him, but something stopped him. No, someone got his attention, Red. Kyle found it suspicious since he never really listened to anyone but you, but it appears Red became closer to Kenny after his fight with you.

Kyle decided it was best to just get all his attention to you instead of Kenny. Kyle grabbed your chin so you could see him directly in the eyes.

“I don’t really know what happened. At this point, I’m pretty sure I know as much as you, but I promise you that I’m going to find out what happened. Just trust me, ok?” Kyle gave you a sweet kiss on your cheek, and you blushed. You were finally smiling for the first time during the day.

“It’s not that necessary, Kyle. I’m just happy you believe me. I’m serious. Thank you” You returned your sight to your book. Kyle smiled at your comment.

He loved making you feel better, he loved your smile, and he loved the way you always managed to make him feel. Loved. Kyle also returned his sight to his book. When he least expected it, he felt your hand grabbing his. You smiled when you felt him squeeze your hand. You really loved everything Kyle was doing for you, and of course, you really loved Kyle.

“You really aren’t going to go to the last day of school? You’ve been absent for over a week now. Also is the graduation ceremony. The last day we will see each other” You and Kyle were lying down on the floor of your bedroom; the bed was way too small for the two of you to fit in it. Your parents, thankfully, were out working until 8 pm, so for the last week, Kyle has been visiting you during the evenings.

“Yeah, it’s not worth it. I don’t have anything to celebrate about,” you sighed. For the past months, Kyle has been the only one you could trust in. And the only one that seems to enjoy your presence.

“C’mon, it’s gonna be fine. I’m gonna be there. Let’s show everyone they cannot get to us that easily. If you don’t go tomorrow, they will win.” you laughed at his comment.

“You’re making it sound like it’s war, Kyle.”

“Well, yeah. Those fuckers hurt you. Don’t satisfy them, sweetheart.” you moved your whole body to face Kyle.

“I don’t know Kyle. I don’t think I want to see Kenny yet” You closed your eyes, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall at any moment. You felt Kyle’s hand grab your cheek, and his thumb started to caress it.

“Open your eyes, please.” You slowly did what he asked you to do, and you realized he was closer to you than he was before. His face was just mere inches apart from yours.

“Kyle…” you looked at his lips. Your whole body was now aware of his presence. How one of his arms was below your head, giving it some support while his other hand was still caressing your cheek. How, somehow, both of your legs were now intertwined. How his breathing started to pick up the moment you looked at his lips. For just that moment, you forgot everything that has been bothering you for such a long time now. For just that moment, it was only you and him.

“Can I…” Kyle didn’t even need to finish the sentence. The two of you have been waiting for this moment for so long, and it was finally happening. You only nodded, and that’s when you felt Kyle’s lips touch yours. The kiss was short but sweet. And it was everything you ever wished for. The two of you opened your eyes, and you stayed in silence for some minutes, just looking into each other eyes. Kyle’s gaze was filled with adoration and love.

“Please, go tomorrow. I’m never leaving your side. Plus, it may be the last day we are going to see each other since we are going to different high schools. Please, sweetheart.”

“Ok, but you have to promise you aren’t leaving me alone at any moment. Promise?”

“Promise.”

n a v i g a t i o n

[eerna]

so glad to WHINE ABOUT TPT.

it should have been wren pov, I agree it seemed like there was a more interesting story going on on her side! And your theory it got rewritten for more jurdan makes sense … also so fucking stupid it’s third person - is there some asinine publishing rule going on? I know readers like to self insert these days, maybe the publisher was worried bc oak is male/a love interest? dumb. dumb.

why didn’t vivi come to the engagement feast? wren had such a hang up on what Vivi said about her, I wanted that resolved (and I just wanted Vivi in general!!!!) wren meeting her human family off screen without a mention of how it went fuckin SUCKED. at absolutely no point was I convinced she should be staying in the house of her abusers being a ruler for people she didn’t know instead of returning to her REAL family. and she didn’t even bond w oak’s family either.

I also enjoyed the dialogue in the garden scene so much, but without wren’s pov it felt out of nowhere or even like she was using sex as self harm. she is so deeply self loathing and so convinced oak will move on for her, so her propositioning him feels like she was trying to rip off the bandaid and get him done with her faster. again, I have to assume because the last time we heard her thoughts was when she would DO that kind of thing. if she’s had this great character growth we don’t fuckin know!!!!!

I had fun but it was also such a disappointment and wren deserves better

Welcome welcome to the whine party~

YEAHHHH presumably it was single POV for the mystery of why Wren is acting so weird, but imo it didn't work. It was so so so painfully obvious and the plot twist didn't twist, so why not just give her the POV. As for the third person, all the Cardan POV content we ever got was also in third person, so maybe HB just doesn't want to write her male leads from first person? The self insert thing occurred to me too, but Wren is one of the least self-insert-able characters I've ever read in YA, and she too had the first person, so idk honestly. Maybe someone who has more experience with HB's novels could figure it out.

I WAS WAITING FOR VIVI THE ENTIRE TIMEEEE like out of all of Oak's family, she was the one who hurt Wren the worst. So where was she!! She lives in the human world, fine, but she was there for Oak's official heir party, so why not for his engagement??? Heather would have Never missed it in a million years. The lack of content regarding Wren connecting to either of the families was sooooooooo bleh, since we KNOW that being a part of one is incredibly important for her and she desperately wants to be accepted by both Oak's big dramatic yet loving family and her own human one. Her returning to the Court of Teeth makes no sense, she only has the worst memories of the place, and it doesn't even EXIST as a ruling body anymore.

SAME on the garden scene! Like you said, it sounded like the Wren from TSH, who used his interest (which she perceived as customary and short-term) as a way to punish herself and treat herself as someone undeserving of proper love. Okay, it's because of the Endless Hunger of her magic, but it's strange to never deal with her pretty unhealthy views of her sexuality. IF ANYTHING, in the final chapter she STILL thinks she is too much and needs too much and won't be able to function properly in a relationship, and we just,,,, never get closure,,, Oak is just like "don't worry" and she's like "ok" and that's it. Head in my hands. This was a romance focused duology and somehow Wren didn't even get her proper closure on that.

Literally my takeaway. Fun. Disappointing. Wren my baby you deserved more.

[buttahpie]

god the previous chapter of Magnolia hit me right in the feelings - the emotional happiness, it was such a feel-good chapter with Ringo, John and Paul jamming together, it felt so right... and then the end hit me with thousands bricks, omg it was so sad!!

this chapter... my goddd that was sizzling, absolutely one of the top John & Paul smut scenes I've ever read, it just literally hit all spots?? (of course some other spot of that doe-eyed twink can be hit I bet)

gooodness, I imagined it all so clearly in my head, osjfakf it was so good! you really describe John and Paul the way I see them, and it makes the fic one of my absolute favorites. And then the ending was so sad again I cried! You truly put your readers through the emotional rollercoaster, I love u

I haven't even watched Groundhog Day, but I'm so invested, it's crazy

sorry for this jumbled mess of the review, I wish I could give your fic a million kudos more because I love it so much!

WOWOWOW I LOVE YOU!!

🥹

it means so much to me that people are so invested in Magnolia!! I love you all so much! It means so much to hear these things!

Also it’s SUCH a relief that you think my J&P are in character! This is literally like the first beatles fic i’ve ever written because I’ve always held myself back from writing about real people cause they are real! and they are complex! and they have legit personalities and you can’t just head canon them like you can fictional characters! So i put a LOT of thought and time into my characterizations of john and paul. also i had a lot of help from @johangeorghohman who beta read and helped me understand the direction I was taking the bugs!

Also i’m happy you liked the smut 😈 i’m literally crazy about those two they are so sexy to me. i am fascinated by the intricacies of their relationship both in the fic and irl. the psychosexual nature and possessive qualities that john and paul shared irl literally make my gears GRIND!

there will be plenty more smut… don’t worry ;))

also— i haven’t seen groundhog day in literal years (although i LOVE it). the premise is the only thing based off of GHD, so you really don’t need to watch it to understand anything! BUT Groundhog day IS inspired by “The Strange life of Ivan Osokin” which is obviously where I got my rules for time travel from and it’s also where GHD got their rules from!

Kloveyoubye!

[internetminestrone]

Reading fanfic today and thinking about the stories I read when I was a teenager and the parts that I thought were semi-normal.

- mc having literally no self esteem. I’m not talking about low self esteem I’m talking about none. They think they are a dirt person.

- anxiety and panic off the charts on a normal day. Any minor hiccup causes an emotional tsunami.

- no realistically healthy relationships. I couldn’t imagine these people being friends let alone able to sustain a relationship that lasts years!

- what is healthy communication with a significant or potentially significant other? Couldn’t say.

- no strong and practical support systems.

- no meaningful friendships.

- no navigating the part of the dating phase where you have to have tough conversations with your partner and you don’t agree on everything.

- no two people maintaining many parts of their lives they had before meeting each other.

I love fanfic! I love the fantasy and escapism of all of it. I love diving into peoples worlds and exploring their minds and creativity. But I guess sometimes, and even when I reread my own work i feel this too, my heart hurts for the teen or young adult just getting into it who doesn’t know much about real life or whatever. Because I think to them (and by them I mean the old me) it sort of is a kind of glimpse to that happily ever after.

And I fully believe lots of us will meet our person one day, but it may turn out to be more than one person. And maybe in order for your person and you to fit together like puzzle pieces you need to have hard conversations, learn a weird new hobby, and do some compromising.

Nobody should aspire to be like the millions of characters living life with any of the bullet points above. While some are out of our control sometimes they aren’t always. And they aren’t forever.

If we need to learn about healthy relationships, healthy communication, support systems, friendships etc. fanfic shouldn’t be the first place we run to. Which is should be obvious but based on dialogue or comments I come across sometimes, makes me worry it isn’t.

Anyways. Totally a ramble.

But shoutout to all the amazing fanfic writers out there, all those people working on original stories. I love you.

And to everyone out there wishing for some sort of happily ever after, don’t let the fantasy cloud your eyes from letting you have those rich, deep, and beautiful relationships life is all about. Even if they aren’t easy and maybe look different than you thought.

Be safe out there. And give a mental hug to your favorite fanfic character (or writer as a thank you) today. :)

[stars-tonight]

hi!! i would love to see who you’d pair me with whenever you’ve got time 💗💗 feel free to let this marinate until you have time to write it lmao

i’d love a long, romantic matchup, please! as long as it’s not the miya twins i’m pretty much good, lol. my pronouns are she/her, and i’d prefer to be paired with one of the guys (mainly cause the female options are pretty scarce in haikyuu…).

my ideal partner would be somebody who can make me laugh but can also bring an aura of healthy masculinity to the relationship so i can feel more confident in embracing femininity (i have a complicated relationship with my dad if that wasn’t obvious). i also like people who know their shit, like a partner i can share interests with and who can have an intelligent conversation with me. somebody who knows how to have friendly/healthy arguments without drawing on big things, and can have disagreements without blowing up. someone who isn’t always loud but can be if they feel comfortable with you, and someone mainly just who has a good sense of humor. perhaps sassy, but not in a full blown oikawa way. i’m definitely a very attentive person and will notice small details about people i like, care about, or find interesting. i like to spend time talking about my interests and just sort of infodumping whenever something happens in a hobby of mine and i love people who listen. i think one of my more redeeming qualities is hopefully my sense of humor, i think my music taste is on 🔝 but that’s subjective. i’m a decently loud person but not in a bokuto way, and i have a rlly long lasting social battery but tend to be more drawn to people who are relatively opposite to me. hobbies mostly surround various types of writing (books, on here, poetry, songs, etc) or things like listening to and analyzing music & just sorta daydreaming to it. i really like to read, too, but i’ve been in sort of a slump lately. oh & i love to paint but im not very good at it. i also love shopping so i need someone to find a job for me that makes 5 mil per second and is a 3pm-3:05pm schedule! my love languages are literally all of them, but for giving i prefer quality time, acts of service, & physical touch, while i prefer to receive acts of service, physical touch, words of affirmation, and gift giving. ideal date i think would be going and getting coffee at a cafe and then spending time just talking for hours, maybe stargazing if it’s late in the day. just something peaceful where we can talk. if we’re going for action though i’d be more inclined to say an amusement park date. i’ve always loved those. my mbti is estj, i’m a libra sun, i like the colors pink and orange, i like baking & ribbons, i have an extensive lipgloss collection, i like to journal & listen to music, i have about a million playlists, i like racecars and hockey, and ofc volleyball, im not the best at showing my affection but sometimes i think about people i love and uncontrollably start tearing up. i cry a lot and at almost everything, but not always in a sad way. i cry when im happy, excited, feeling love, scared, worried, nervous, angry, sad, jealous, anything tbh. i write songs about feelings i experienced for less than a day, and i love making mood boards. i love movies, pearls, music i can relate to, singing loudly in the car, headphones, polaroids & photo strips, comfort shows, video games, the smell of pumpkin flavored foods in fall, summer, the beach, when my cheeks hurt from laughing too hard, and singing in general. i don’t like waking up sweaty, having greasy hair, people who talk with food visibly in their teeth, people who pout and use a baby voice unironically, when it’s windy and my hair gets caught in my lipgloss, when tights start to ride down and you have to pull them up, ripping my tights on accident, when my socks fall down in my shoes, being one item short of having what i need to make a project, feeling unmotivated, misogynistic rap songs, when my mascara gets chunky & i have to restart, slow wifi, people who don’t communicate and make me feel judged, etc— the list goes on but i need to be done for your sake BAHAHA

anyway yes take your time but i’d love to see who you pair me with cause i feel like it’s not gonna be the answer i necessarily hope i’ll get, so i’m super curious who you’ll put me with cause i rlly have no idea who it could be. i think it’s super cool that you’re doing this & i love your blog!! thank you :)

headcanons

🥛 few scream "healthy masculinity" like sawamura daichi lol

🥛 i feel like he'd naturally fill in the traditional gender role and just act like a protector and provider for his partner

🥛 he's very mature and knows how to hold a good conversation and nurture a healthy relationship

🥛 he always takes a step back when he realizes he's getting riled up so he doesn't say or do something he might regret later

🥛 when he approaches a conflict, it's with patience and caring

🥛 daichi's very mature so i feel like conversations with him could get pretty philosophical or deep, but it's always in a good way

🥛 like a raw conversation you typically only have in the middle of the night

🥛 daichi tends to live in the moment / reality, so he isn't as big on books or music

🥛 but he always likes to see what his loved ones are interested in so he'd definitely take note of things you like

🥛 also he probably reads a bit before bed every day (i heard that it's good for the brain and sleep), but it's not going to be some romance novel

🥛 daichi's love languages strike me as quality time or acts of service, probably acts of service above quality time

🥛 but he'd always be there to take care of his partner like a true gentleman

🥛 for example he's always there for you when you're sick to make you some soup and get you medicine

🥛 my goodness daichi would be so good on a chill coffee date

🥛 and then stargazing would be awesome! he'd bring some blankets to make sure you wouldn't get cold and you'd have so many nice conversations

🥛 but he'd be totally awesome on an amusement park date too

🥛 i feel like daichi's personality is very malleable if that makes sense (in the best way though!)

🥛 because he was the captain of the karasuno team, he had to find a way to connect with or get along with all sorts of people (golden retrievers like hinata versus black cats like kageyama)

🥛 so he'd always be able to code switch depending on who he's with, but he's not being fake, just adjusting his energy levels if that makes sense so he and the person he's with can be on the same page physically and intellectually

runner up for you was iwaizumi hajime!

[farfromstrange]

Cavities | Matt Murdock x Reader

masterlist

Pairing: Matt Murdock x gender neutral!Reader

Summary: based on this request by a lovely anon. You need to have your cavities taken care of. Matt offers to stay by your side.

Warnings: none (not proof read)

A/n: I hope you like it! I’ve never had any cavities and the last big procedure I had was my wisdom teeth removal, so I tried my best to write something that’s comforting enough. It’s pretty short, I think you can count it as a Drabble. I wish you all the best of luck, anon, and that everything works out!

If you take a look at the doctor profession, there are some doctors we are naturally programmed to fear. One of those being the dentist. Don’t get me wrong, you go to your mandatory appointments — albeit hesitant — get your teeth checked like any other adult and then go on your way. You’ve always been a little queasy, but it’s been tolerable so far. Until your doctor walked into the room the other day and revealed that your perfect teeth, that you have claimed to be perfectly healthy, are actually quite a little damaged.

When he came in to tell you that you had eight cavities, you almost instantly lost your mind. It would mean you’d have to get it fixed because cavities and crowns are not something you want to wait with. But it’s one of those procedures that make you want to rather die than sit in that godforsaken chair and let them drill into your mouth.

You have already searched for your passport and found your travel-sized bag in the closet of you and your boyfriend’s shared apartment. If you left the country, it surely wouldn’t kill you, right? You can’t say it hasn’t actively crossed your mind. You hate going to the dentist, especially when higher things need to be done than just the occasional check-up. Your past experiences have not left you with a good memory. And even though your dentist is the kindest doctor you can think of, you can’t bring yourself up to relax. All you can think about is how you don’t want this and you’d rather die than let your mouth be poked open and drilled into. The sounds, the feeling, everything that you connect with the experience already drives you crazy long before you’re set for your appointment.

But unlike all the times before, you’re not alone this time.

“Eight cavities,” you whine as you roll over in bed, the piece of paper that signed your demise on the living room table. “Eight cavities, Matt!” you say louder and he flinches at your voice so close and loud to his sensitive ear.

“And they want to fill four. Four, Matt! At once.”

Matt chuckles. He's already dressed in his work attire while you’re left in your pyjamas. “You’ve said that about a million times, sweetheart,” he says.

“Because it’s not fair! What did I ever do to deserve this?”

“It’s a standard procedure. It happens. Most of us will get cavities at least once in our lives. There is literally nothing to be ashamed or worry about.”

You give a dramatic sigh. “God hates me.”

“He doesn’t.” He kisses your forehead gently from where he bows over you. “I strongly believe God loves you more than anything. You’re gonna be fine. I’ll be there and hold your hand all the way through, okay? I promise you. No one’s gonna hurt you.”

“The drill is gonna hurt me,” you retort.

When you weakly told your boyfriend about the whole Dilemma, he didn’t laugh at you, although it seemed like he wanted to. Instead, he understood and he offered his help. You were more than surprised to find him so willing to hold your hand, but you agreed. You wouldn’t say no to his everlasting support. Though the closer the date comes, the more nervous you’re starting to feel, and suddenly his support seems a little less important because it still feels like they are going to kill you in that stupid dentist’s office.

You haven’t properly slept since you got the news, he knows that, but he also knows he can’t take away your fear entirely, no matter how much he wishes he could.

“They’ll numb the area,” Matt explains. “You won’t feel a thing. The pressure, maybe, but that’s normal. It’s not gonna hurt you. You’ll see, you’re gonna feel so much better after. There is nothing you can’t do, okay? You’re one of the strongest people I know.” This time, he plants his lips on yours in a living kiss that screams in his supportive nature.

You ease into his touch, allowing yourself to relax a little.

“I love you, sweetheart,” he says.

You sigh. “I love you too.”

“Good. Can I leave you alone now or are you gonna start tearing the walls down?”

“I’m okay.”

“Alright. I gotta get work, get a head start so my missing tomorrow won’t be as bad. You know, new client and all that.”

His steps disappear out of the bedroom and into the living room. As soon as he’s even just an inch from you, your mind begins to reel again.

“What if they take my teeth?”

Matt groans. “They will not take your teeth!”

“They might,” you say. “And you can’t tell if they are because you can’t see them. You’d just be like, what are they doing? Sounds weird, but I’ll allow it. And in the end I’ll wake up without my teeth.”

“They won’t take your teeth. What would they want with a whole set of teeth anyway?”

“I don’t know, sell them? Use them as prosthesis for other people without teeth?”

“Okay,” he laughs, “No one’s gonna sell your teeth. They’re important, you still need them. Dentists are not teeth thieves. And even if they were, your boyfriend’s a lawyer. I can sue them.”

“You would do that?” you say.

He pokes his head around the corner of the bedroom. “Of course, I would. You’re the love of my life. Now stop overthinking or I’ll take you with me and tie you to Foggy’s desk.”

You don’t stop overthinking, not until you walk into your dentist’s Office the Next day and the sterile smell as well as the sight of all the instruments before you almost give you a heart attack.

You turn around. “Nope, not gonna happen.” But Matt has already grabbed your shoulders and forced you to stay.

“Sit,” he instructs.

“No.”

“Sweetheart, I know it’s scary, but you’re not alone. This is not a torture chamber and you are not on death row. So sit down!” He pushes you into the chair.

You groan. “Matt, please, let’s just fake my death. I… I don’t want to do this.” Your lip quivers and your voice starts to shake. The stress is tearing away at your bones and you’re this close to getting your passport and feeling.

This close.

Matt catches the frustrated tear that slips your eye with his finger. Your arms are crossed over your chest, and your head is turned away from him and all the torturous Instruments before you.

“It’s gonna be okay, baby. After this, I promise I’m gonna cuddle you for as long as you want,” he says oh-so-sweetly. “And when you’re allowed to have ice cream again, I’ll get all your favorite flavors. We’ll have an ice cream party.”

“Even chocolate?” you ask.

“Even chocolate,” he says.

“But you hate chocolate.”

“I’d do it for you. I’d do anything for you.”

You look at the hand he is offering you, then his soft smile and the white light reflected in his red glasses. And though your limbs are shaking violently, you take his hand and he instantly pulls you close. He holds your hand with an intensity that gives you strength. The look on his face and his hand are enough to ease some of the anxiety.

The nurse compliments you at some point, “What a great boyfriend you have!” she says. You smile and nod, but it doesn’t hit the mark.

You’re still shaking by the the time they pull out the sedative.

“I don’t like this,” you murmur. “Can’t we just go?”

“It’s that or the pain,” says the nurse.

“I don’t like to be numb.”

Matt squeezes your hand. “The pain is only gonna be worse if you don’t take it,” he says. “I’m here, okay?”

You think about it, but eventually nod to give the go-ahead. Your nails dig into his skin and it must hurt, but he doesn’t say anything.

As soon as the sedative has set and you can barely feel your mouth anymore, the rest of the procedure goes smoothly. There is no doubt in your mind that without Matt, you would have gotten a heart attack.

“Bad experience with dentists?” the doctor asks halfway through the procedure when he catches sight of how tightly you’re holding your boyfriend’s hand.

You glare at him. With his pesky little fingers in your mouth, you can’t speak.

Matt jumps to your defense. “Bad is an understatement,” he says.

“Well, we’re almost done.”

You thank whatever God he believes in once the ordeal is finally over and you allow yourself to breathe again. Your tongue is flapping around funnily in your mouth and you can't feel anything, but it’s better than the pain.

“Good job,” Matt cooes into your ear. “I knew you could do it.”

You huff. “Jus’ ‘ake me home.”

“You sound even funnier than when you’re drunk.” His eyes crinkle and he giggles when he senses the murderous look in your eyes.

“‘M gonna shove my foot s’ far up your ass…”

“Sure thing, sweetheart. You’d have to reach that far first.”

You land on the bed exhausted, drained and numb. When Matt tries to leave, you grab his hand, afraid he might leave you miserable like this.

He shushes your pleas. “I’m just getting some comfortable clothes and some water for you. I’ll be right back and then I’ll cuddle you, okay?” he says. “I promised to take care of you. I’m not gonna leave you.”

And he does. He comes back with a pair of sweatpants and a shirt. He gets you dressed, fluffs your pillows and gets an extra blanket. There’s water and some snacks once you can eat again on the nightstand and his arms land around you, finally, after what feels like an eternity.

Until you’ve found a comfortable position it takes a while, but once you do and his heartbeat sounds strong in your ear, you can’t help but sigh and let the exhaustion fall off of you.

“And,” he muses, “was is it really that bad?”

“The worst,” you slur.

He chuckles, rubbing your back with his large hand. “It’s alright. Dentists are scary. But you’re okay now. You did it and you didn’t kill anyone in the process.”

You snort.

“Kidding! You really did good. I’m proud of you. And now it’s over and you don’t have to worry anymore. There is nothing you can’t conquer,” he says, “and you prove it every day, sweetheart.”

Another tear slides down your cheek and onto his shirt. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me for telling the truth. I love you, sweetie.”

“Love you too, Matty.”

“C’mon, get some rest. I’ll be right here with you. And tomorrow, ice cream.”

You snuggle into his warm arms, completely disappearing as you melt like an ice cube.

“Ice cream,” you sigh in approval.

You couldn’t have asked for a better companion, let alone a better boyfriend. There is no one than can match up to Matt Murdock and the dedication he gives to the people he loves — the dedication he gives to you. And with him by your side, getting a few cavities filled feels just a little worse than it actually is.

[azol-otl]

Random Jason Hijinks I either wish would happen someday or find amusing to think about.

Rose and Jason break Eddie out of hell and steal his soul back from Neron. Jaime is dragged along by Rose because he and Eddie were “friends a few reboots ago”. Jason asked Roy who sent him Connor who is suffering™.

Pre-Red Hood Jason and Pre-Green Arrow Connor first meet up back when Jason was part of the All-Caste hunting a demon. It’s a one-shot adventure and the things you have to know are:  

a) this is before Jason’s growth spurt so he’s over a head shorter than Connor.

b) Connor isn’t a cape so excuse him for not understanding demons and fucking up hilariously a few times.

c) When Jason tries to kill the demon who is possessing the human, he and Connor fight about it. The fight ends when the demon explodes out of the person like the Pus of Man from Dark Souls 3.

d) Talia is the one who finds and picks up Jason from the adventure (Connor thinks she’s his mom and Jason just didn’t inherit the melanin) and is also the one who gives Connor contact information for Jason because she wants him to have some sort of friend.

e) They never actually learned the other’s name so anytime they’d hear about Red Hood or Green Arrow they literally don’t know it’s that guy they met as teenagers.

Jason decides to actually dust off his mystic training when Dick walks in and Jason gets hit with so many bad vibes he’s genuinely worried something is wrong with Dick.  

Jason: “Did they not fix the Brother Blood mind control thing fully? Did Raven miss something? Isn’t Dick friends with a million people? How have they all missed this????”

It ends with bringing Danny Chase back to life and the only person remotely happy about it is Jason and even that’s a stretch.

Rose, why are you part of the Wild Hunt?!!!

What do you mean Biz got taken by the fae?!

Roy, why is this werewolf saying he’s your husband?!

Eddie, why didn’t you tell me you were a prince of hell? What do you mean that one of Trigon’s sons is buried in Gotham?!!! No wait, you still haven’t told me how you’re a prince of hell!

Jason and Talia's road trip where Jason comes to the uncomfortable realization that he views Talia as a mother/aunt figure.

Bonus Artemis suffering Jason’s Mom Has it Going On.

Jason gets a new dog named Ellie and he loves her and Dog very much. What do you mean she’s a Blue Lantern!?

Ellie is short for Elpis and she’s absolutely Hope Corgi.

Roy finds out that he has a whole-ass checking account under one of his aliases that he never knew about. Turns out Jason created it for him years ago and Roy’s actually under W.E.  employed as an independent contractor and he’s been making 6 figures for years because Jason never bothered telling anyone that he still owns Wayne R&D.

Jason slowly but surely claims Park Row and the surrounding areas as his territory. It has the unforeseen consequence of magical folk moving into the neighborhood because Gotham is a nightmare to live in normally, Magic Gotham is even worse and the only people who can survive are big hitters like Blood, Zatanna, and Ivy or small fries like the kitchen witch near Leslie’s. Welcome to the big leagues, Jason.

Jason keeps getting mistaken for Jason Blood and it is annoying. One day some demon hunters threw something at Jason and did anyone know Jason used to be in heaven because he sure didn’t and these angel wings are a fucking nightmare.

Rose busts a gut laughing because she somehow became friends with the least demon-y demon Eddie and Jason as an angel.

Jason, Ivy, Sideways, and Impulse (Impulse voice: “Why am I even here?”) vs the Madness Wavelength in Arkham.

Jason kills Joker and finds out that he cannot. Not as in “He doesn’t die” or “There will be a new one” but a secret third option, “The universe literally resets the day every time he’s killed.” Instead of being a tragedy, it becomes a comedy as killing Joker slowly becomes Jason’s go-to when shit goes wrong/killing him is good stress relief. Stephanie discovers what happens because she’s had to write the same essay nine times once. Instead of being horrified they (and then Helena, Tim, Duke, etc.) make killing Joker a gag. The only ones not allowed to kill the Joker are Dick and Bruce because then the universe decides it’s the bad timeline instead of just resetting again.

Tim: *drops his latte on a hot guy and then embarrasses himself in public trying to apologize and becomes a meme.*

Tim: I guess I have to kill Joker now.

Jason and Kory remeeting and wow it’s really awkward that we only got close because of a universe meddler and then you dipped and never contacted me again even though I was a hundred percent serious that you were one of my first friends and are very important to me.

Oh no. Not the talking. Not communication! Kory take mercy on me and just drop me like a bad memory don’t have us open a dialogue where we reconcile all of the bullshit that happened to us and the fact that we did genuinely get close at very low points in our lives and be willing to try and be friends again!

Give! Kory! All! The! Friends! She doesn’t care if you think it’s a bad idea, it's her life!

Gotham Vigilante Tabletop Club (GVTC) featuring Jason, Tim, Stephanie, Duke, Helena, and Harper. They each get a turn as dm and every one of them brings in a different game.

Why is Damian’s friend (Colin) asking me for love advice? I’m a gay disaster ask anyone else please. ??? I guess I can try to help??? Who’s your crush?

It’s Lian and Jason regrets agreeing to help because Roy is going to murder him.

Countdown 2 Electric Boogaloo. Except for this time they were all shoved into the dimension separately and by separate events and there is no danger. It is just a multiversal road trip with the people who vexed you greatly but are slightly grown up now.

Bonus scene includes Jason’s gleeful face when he realizes he understands what all of those words Donna keeps muttering under her breath mean because Artemis was a bro and taught him Themysciran Greek.

[brunchable]

Dandelions Chapter IX - Cosmic Floop || Doctor Strange x F!Reader

Word Count: 2K Rated M: includes portrayals of elements such as violence and themes that require a mature outlook. Special Mentions: Iron Man Ant-Man A/N: It's been 84 years. . . my writer's block for this was so bad.

One day is closing into two since the moment you left Eric alone in the korean restaurant. He's left you millions of missed calls and texts but got nothing in return. He wanted to report the police that you were missing and more importantly inform your father but you made him swear not to do anything that will bring attention to you—but you’re not here and he’s extremely worried, so he decided to pay your Dad, the chief of police, a visit.

Eric stood at the front of your childhood home where your father still resides. He’s literally about to break his promises to you since he just didn’t know what else to do. Eric practised what he was going to say, until he was interrupted by Ren who spoke through the door cam.

“Usually people knock to get the home owner’s attention.”

Eric jumped and looked into the camera, “Uncle Ren! Thank goodness you’re home, please let me in.”

The screen turned black and Eric heard his uncle's heavy footsteps coming towards the door. A few moments later, Ren opened the door for Eric and stepped aside. Ren watched Eric closely as he entered and paced around the living room, clearly worried about something–the lad couldn’t stop mumbling to himself, giving Ren every reason to think whether his nephew took some illicit drugs.

“Why don’t you sit down Eric? You’re making me dizzy.” Ren told the lad and closed the door. He made his way to his armchair and took a seat, giving Eric a puzzled look, “What’s wrong?”

“It’s (Y/N)…” Eric fiddled with his fingernails, avoiding eye contact with his uncle, his leg shaking uncontrollably, “She uh…developed these powers—”

“What?!” Ren yelled out of shock, the look on his face darkening. Clearly he knows something, possibly more, “How long has she had it?”

Eric flinched when Ren raised his voice, Eric opened his mouth but nothing was coming out.

“Eric…how long has she had these powers?” Ren repeated his question with more grit.

“Since she came back from the blip—I tried very hard to convince her to tell you but she made me promise not to—I haven’t heard from her since she left me at the restaurant yesterday. I tried calling her but I failed time and time again to reach her. She’s missing.” Eric blurted out in one breath and felt relieved he finally got it out of his system.

“Did she tell you where she was going before she left?”

“No, she left in a rush—she just started feeling quite scared all of a sudden and told me that she’s getting this strong feeling in her gut that she needed to go.”

“This is bad…” Ren mumbled, “I don’t understand… Annie took her memories away.”

“W-what do you mean took her memories away—What’s bad? If you have something to say uncle, now might be the best time because I am so confused right now. Your daughter is missing! We should be reporting it.”

“The police won’t be able to help us Eric—this is beyond their pay grade.” Ren pauses with a big sigh, “The vision Annie warned me about. . .”

“Vision? What vision? You’re still speaking cryptic language—”

“It’s the infinity stones Eric—assuming the avengers travelled back in time to retrieve them, it only means they’ve been destroyed, weakening the universe’s defences to that ever comes next.”

Eric stared at his uncle like he was some kind of lunatic, “Don’t you think it would’ve been helpful to tell your daughter about her roots?!”

“You don’t understand, the more she knows, the more she draws danger to herself. I’ve been trying to protect her ever since she was a child—we need to find her.”

“I think I might know where to start,” Eric swallows the guilt in his throat for breaking his promise to you, “She brought home books after she met up with Doctor Strange.”

Ren closes his lids and exhales as if trying to keep himself calm and not snap, “Great—she’s associated herself with an Avenger. Looks like we’ll be paying his residence a visit.”

“Holy shit.” Those were the first words that came out of Tony Stark’s mouth when he saw you and Stephen for the first time, “Can I?” Tony asked as he stepped closer to you and squeezed your cheeks together, studying your face in astonishment, “Creepy.”

You stare at Tony the same way he was staring at you, “You don’t say…”

“So have you like…mastered necromancy?” Scott Lang’s eyeballs flickered from you to Stephen, making sure to keep a fair distance from you, in case you were a zombie.

“We don’t do that kind of magic.” Iron Stephen simply answered and then Scott turned to Stephen with a fascinated look. Stephen furrowed his brows at Scott, giving him a dirty look.

“Look at this clone—I’m still amazed at how you do this Doc, he looks so real.” Scott stood in front of Stephen with a broad smile and went for his arms squeezing Stephen’s biceps. Iron Strange opened his mouth to say that Stephen wasn’t a clone but it was too late, “Oh… feels real too.”

Scott moved his hands to Stephen’s face and patted his cheeks. With the most unimpressed look on his face Stephen said, “Get your hands off of my face.”

Scott took a small step back and pointed at Stephen, “He’s not a clone is he?”

“No.” Iron Strange shook his head, pressing his lips to a thin line to suppress a chuckle while Rintrah and Wong turned away with a snicker.

“Oh… Sorry.” Scott laughed sheepishly, “So if she’s not back from the dead and he’s not a clone—then where did the cosmic floop did they come from?”

“Have you not told Scott why I invited both of you here?” Iron Strange asked, sounding a bit annoyed at Tony while crossing his arms.

“Sorry, I thought you were the one who’s going to tell him?” Tony shrugged with a tight-lipped smile—he purposely didn’t tell Scott to mess with him. Iron Strange shook his head. They just wasted precious time trying to figure each other out.

“Hold on—What does he mean back from the dead?” You butted in with a worried expression on your face.

“Wait—she doesn’t know?” Tony pointed at you and Iron Strange discreetly gestured his hand over his neck to cut it out, in which Stephen noticed.

“Know what?” You look at both of them confused and concerned.

"Yeah what are you not telling us?" Stephen squinted his eyes.

“Wouldn't you like to know?" Iron Strange sarcastically replied towards Stephen first and then you, "It means exactly what it means. You’re dead in this universe.” He bluntly answered before anyone else did, he didn’t want to talk about it. Your face turned grim, “Anyway, to answer your question Scott, they’re from another universe.”

Scott cocked his head and began laughing out loud until he looked around at everyone and noticed that he was the only one laughing, “Ha…hah… He’s not kidding.”

"You're his wife in this universe!" Tony blurted out and then abruptly covered his mouth. He couldn’t help it.

"WHAT?" You and Stephen said in unison.

"Oh shit—did I just think out loud? Sssssorry." Tony drawled and shrugged nonchalantly all the while avoiding eye contact with Iron Strange. He had no business stirring the pot but their Stephen looked like he was in pain.

Iron Strange is looking away from you now in an effort to avoid eye contact. You now understand the reason he presented you with that necklace; nonetheless, you are perplexed as to the source of his anger towards Stephen. Is it possible that he is angry with himself?

Stephen’s annoying grimace disappeared only to be replaced by a sharp scowl in your direction. Me? With her? I'd rather shoot myself in the foot. Stephen thought to himself. He can’t imagine being with anyone else apart from Christine.

"What about Christine?" He glanced towards himself who only scowled back at him.

"Who’s Christine?" Iron Strange replied.

Stephen's eyes widened, and it appeared as though he was almost insulted—no he is insulted by the fact that this man does not know who Christine is.

You were about to say a few choice words to him when Tony stepped forward. Good lord, the man was still a sight to behold, "Anyways let's move on?"

Stephen agreed, “Yeah. I have a question. Can you just explain to me how Tony and Scott are supposed to help?”

“If Tony can make time travel possible, with Scott’s help, I’m sure he has the brain big enough to create a multiverse machine.” Iron Strange confidently answered Stephen.

“Wow. I never thought you thought so highly of me, don’t stop now.” Tony chuckled and earned a dirty look from Iron Strange.

“Could that even be possible?” Wong asked.

“There’s a chance it could be possible—I mean, the Quantum Realm is a mostly unknown domain, so if we can discover a method to combine magic and science into a single machine, that's one way for you to leave,” Tony explained but he had doubts in his mind, because last time he created a time machine, Thanos got through from the past, “But there’s always risks.”

“Yeah, no shit Sherlock.” Stephen agreed.

“The thing is, I have to rebuild the quantum tunnel, it was destroyed when Thanos attacked the Avengers compound years ago.”

“Maybe you can use my van?” Scott suggested.

“That ugly brown van is still in one piece?” Stephen turned to Scott.

“Doc…that van might be your ticket out of here, give it a little respect.” Scott placed his hand over his chest, slightly offended by Stephen’s comment. Scott pressed his car keys causing the van to play its infamous horn, la cucaracha, “And yes, it's still in one piece.”

“Great. Leave it to me, Scott and his ugly brown van.” Tony patted Stephen’s shoulder with a massive grin before approaching Iron Strange. They turned their backs towards the group, “I’m going to ask you one last time, are you sure they can be trusted?” Tony whispered to Stephen.

Stephen looked back and shook his head, “Well, no but if the Scarlet Witch is strong enough to send creatures here to kill them, then we have every reason to get them out of here. You wouldn’t want to bring the Scarlet Witch here would you?”

“Say this works, what if this is the reason we bring it into our universe? Look at what happened before, we brought Thanos here.” Tony argued.

“Stark, the longer they stay here the more dangerous it becomes and it will be out of our control—so you choose, at least if something comes through, we can just kick their asses goodnight.”

"Just?" Tony sighed, seeing that Stephen has got a point, “I’ll see what I can do— Alright Scott! You’re coming with me, I need data from your Quantum Research.”

“You’re doing the right thing Tony.” Iron Strange nodded.

“When am I not?” Tony smirks and pats Strange's shoulders before turning back around to face the group.

Scott lifted his hands up to imply that he wanted to say something.

"Yes? Scott?" Tony addressed him.

"Uh. I almost forgot. We need Pym Particles to enter the quantum realm and Hank ain't giving those out willy nilly." Scott chuckled sheepishly, "The Quantum Realm is a terrifying and treacherous place to be. We have no idea what might be hiding in there. It's possible that there are whole civilizations hidden in there.."

"We're going to steal it then, you're an expert at thievery, Scott. Maybe call up Luis—" Tony suggested.

"Oh god." Stephen said in the background.

"Are you serious? We can't do that, I've put that life behind me." Scott gave a little shake of the head, and when Tony moved in closer, Scott retreated a little further.

"We're stealing it." Tony reiterated what he had said earlier, but this time he did so in a more serious approach.

"Alright fine! I'll contact Luis."

TAGS: @elicheel @sherlux @stanny-uwu @frostandflamesfanfic @zdhunn @captaincarmel164 @justsomecreaturewandering @soiopathicdetectivekid @fan-of-fic @gaitwae @shit-post-things @seasonofthenerd @patbrdac @evelynrosestuff @singhfae @severuined @mischiefmanaged71 @farfromjustordinary @spideyyhoe @lovecleastrange @samisubi @dcgoddess @mochuchi @faithinhome @ohchoices @junkertown-princess @sigyncevans @giorgiblog17 @dragonqueen89 @the-royal-petals @hiddlechive @ghost-lantern @sleutherclaw @the-mouse27 @zelspktr @bobateadaydreams @lykaonimagines @valbensherstep @strangeobsessed @calsjack @romanvffa @crowleyspett @goldencherriess @jyessaminereads @fandom-lover-4 @tis-vereon

[aesethewitch]

#OcculTea - Conclusions

What are some topics of conversation I’d like to see more of in our community?

I do think that there’s a lack of intermediate to advanced content in the public eye. And I understand why, of course. Beginners find posts they don’t understand and ask a million basic questions: “How do I raise energy?” “Should I cast a circle first?” “If I don’t have this ingredient, what can I substitute? But I don’t have that either, what about this?”

And if they don’t get answers, or if the wrong person finds a post that speaks just a little too authoritatively, they get pissed. Tumblr’s hatemail game is, indeed, unreal. It’s hard sometimes to want to publish something personal or talk about something that the General Audience might disagree with or that’s more advanced than what can usually be found out there.

It would require beginners to recognize when something isn’t really for them (yet). It would also require people to give the benefit of the doubt and actually read a whole post before jumping to the replies or into the poster’s ask box to complain about their wording or tone or “how could you leave out such and such specific detail” or other annoying, disrespectful nonsense like that. Alas, this is the piss on the poor website.

What are my community needs?

My top priorities in a community are somewhere to ask questions, somewhere to have casual, low-stakes conversations, and somewhere to share and vet resources (books, PDFs, shops, materials, websites, blogs, etc.). I sometimes fall off the face of the earth and go hermit-mode for mental health reasons, so communities that require constant participation and look down on declining invitations are no-gos for me.

For the most part, I do think my community needs are being met! I wish I had an in-person place to go, hang out, buy or make things, and just exist as a witch without worrying about conforming to love-and-light ideals and/or cultural appropriation. I’ve been thinking about starting meet-ups at our local library, but the idea of no one showing is… well, it sucks and is scary. So. We’ll see how that goes.

Where would I like to be held and supported?

It really depends.

In this space (Tumblr), the greatest supports are reblogs. Liking a post does little for me in terms of exposure and connection. A reblog spreads my work to new eyes while also showing me that yes, the thing I’ve written is useful in some way. Replies are also good, but reblogs are really where it’s at.

Direct interaction with my work encourages me to write and publish more. I stopped putting up my research into digital divination (which has continued, by the way) because it wasn’t getting any notes. To me, that says that no one’s reading it. If no one’s reading it, I shouldn’t spend so much time cleaning up my notes for presentation, because that’s time I could use better elsewhere on work that will get attention and perhaps pay the bills.

Which kinda sucks! Research into theory and the history of these niche topics are very much passion projects of mine. I’ve got all sorts of notes dissecting Pick-A-Card tarot culture and clickbait tarot YouTube/TikTok videos that may never see the light of day, because it just… doesn’t get noticed. No one cares. I care, obviously, and that’s why I’m still doing it for myself. I’d love to share it, but… again, who cares, aside from me?

Basically, just… interact with stuff, lmao. Tip if you can, still interact if you can't. If you enjoy someone’s work, reblog it. Likes do nothing for creators on this platform. And as someone who relies on this platform to spread my business, reblogs really do make all the difference. (PS: Everyone who has ever recommended my services to someone else, either here or elsewhere, is literally an angel. Word of mouth does more for small businesses than any amount of advertising I could possibly do. You’ve got no idea. Ily.)

Where do I feel like I’m not truly being seen by my community?

I get a lot of attention for my free tarot stuff that I do every Friday. And that’s fair. People love a freebie. There’s a whole subculture of tarot readers here on Tumblr who just do different kinds of free readings for people, often for fun.

But again, the stuff I’m actually proud of tends to get less notes than the throwaway shitposts. It’s rough. I have a feeling that all the hours I’m sinking into writing out these questions and editing the posts will go to waste.

How can we help each other in removing the external peer pressure and grow in community?

Be the change you want to see. Here on Tumblr, there’s a sort of fear surrounding judgment. In the interest of never being judged, receiving hate, or otherwise being “called out,” we avoid publishing work that’s anything close to controversial. Even if it isn’t controversy, if something isn’t being talked about, it’s scary to be the first one to break into the topic. Because what if it’s terrible to talk about?

When you see something you don’t understand or disagree with, don’t instantly jump into OP’s replies or ask box with vitriol or basic questions. Try to find resources first. Check their tags; maybe they’ve talked about that topic before and have a more basic or detailed explanation on the topic somewhere.

Unless it’s actively harmful (bigotry, appropriation, etc.), if you can’t respectfully interact with someone’s post, leave it alone. The important thing to remember is that we don’t need to (and perhaps shouldn’t) form opinions on absolutely everything we see. Some things aren’t for us, and that’s okay. I see things I disagree with and dislike all the time as I peruse the witchcraft tags. Just scroll.

The other part of this is acknowledging that some people just aren’t going to learn how to act right. They just aren’t. We, as a community, need to learn how to ignore those people. There’s an age-old adage that I think we need to bring back into the public eye: Don’t feed the trolls.

How can we, as a community, come together more with constructive criticism without it seeming shady/passive aggressive?

The absolute first step is to learn the difference between hatemail, constructive criticism, and being fucking rude. Tone can be hard for some folks, especially when written out, but it’s critical that you either learn how to decipher it or find people who can help you do so if you’re not able to do it yourself before making assumptions about someone’s meaning.

Hatemail is direct nastiness written and designed to make someone feel bad about themselves, their work, their circle, their practice, or something else. The idea is to make the receiver uncomfortable. This would include attacks on someone’s character. This category includes sending people slurs, telling people they’re stupid for believing something, demanding that someone prove their worth, and unsolicited and harsh criticisms of the work being put out.

Constructive criticism is intended to improve the content you’re seeing. That’s what makes it constructive. It’s respectful to ask the OP if they’re open to receiving constructive criticism before sending it. This category includes helpful notes on content, correcting misinformation, pointing out problems in the language used, and structure of the post in question. For example, I’ve received constructive criticism that my posts tend to be very long-winded. And, I mean, yeah — that’s a fair criticism. But I like writing long posts, so that’s unlikely to change. However, I can include shorter posts in the mix to diversify and appeal to different audiences.

The prime example of someone being plain fucking rude is adding inane, off-topic, judgy comments in a reblog of an innocuous post or send unsolicited, long-winded trauma dumps to someone’s inbox. This could also apply to giving unsolicited advice or speaking in a condescending manner. For example, assuming someone knows less than you and handing out “advice” as though it’s gospel without checking to see whether they would or wouldn’t know that information/practice differently than you. This category refers to the people who aren’t (purposely) sending hate, but their words absolutely come off that way. I find rudeness comes from a lack of self-awareness and consideration for other people. These are the folks that when you tell them to fuck off, they get very offended and don’t understand why you’re reacting badly.

The key is reading comprehension, critical thinking, and compassion. Before you send an ask, reply/reblog, or DM them, try to see where the OP is coming from. What’s their culture, what’s their background, how new are they to their path, why are they posting about the thing they’re posting, etc.? Have you read their post correctly? Are you projecting any kind of expectations or assumptions onto the OP or their post that aren’t actually being stated there?

Will what you say hurt their feelings? Has the OP stated that they’re open to feedback? If not, should you ask them first? Will the OP suffer in some way or cause harm if you don’t reach out to them about the thing you want to tell them? Are you reaching out simply to have something to say, or are you actually adding to the conversation?

If more folks come into conversations with kindness and genuine curiosity, leaving their egos, assumptions, and impulses to be “on the same level” or “better than” other practitioners aside, better interactions happen. Just… don’t be an asshole. Think before you speak. Consider the consequences of what you say before hitting send. So on and so forth.

Consider a class or guide on providing constructive criticism. Creative writing or other literary courses and guides go over this kind of thing extensively.

How can we, as a community, do better when we do receive criticism/feedback?

Remember that, in general, even unsolicited criticism is rarely about you as a person. It is sometimes, but even that can be useful. The only times I would say you ought to throw out criticism entirely is when it veers into hatemail territory. You don’t owe hateful bitches anything, least of all your time.

But in the case of actual feedback, even if it’s not worded the best or if it arrives out of the blue, it’s important to at least read it and take it into consideration.

Take a step back. Take a breath. The knee-jerk reaction to defend yourself is a powerful one. Let the sting of criticism sink in, and do whatever you need to do to soothe it.

Then, read it again. Parse what the person is actually saying. No matter how they’re saying it, what is their actual problem? Is it something you can change? Is it something you’re willing to change? Even if not, is it something you can take into account for the future?

Constructive criticism, when given and received in a positive way, can create some really beautiful moments of understanding and growth. Consider, again, a class or guide on constructive criticism. When they talk about giving it, they also talk about receiving and using it. It really is a life-changing sort of lesson.

As for dealing with hatemail, fuck ‘em. Delete that shit, block the asshole, and don’t look back.

Who are some community members I look up to that are reliable resources and aspirations?

Ohohohohoho, spotlight time!

It isn’t something I can really direct people toward, since it’s a private Discord server, but I’m part of a group of practitioners who are constantly supporting each other. We ask questions, give advice, chat about projects, and just generally lift each other up all the time. That server is, by far, the greatest resource I’ve got right now. It’s a very small community of friends whose passions are diverse and incredibly interesting. The amount of learning and collaboration that goes on… man. I really do love it. (If you’re in that server, and you read this: Hi, I appreciate you! (: )

Now, let’s tag some people (going down my following list):

@elminx — Minx is amazing. The recipe experiments, the astrology insights, the clever techniques… She’s got something for everybody.

@fernthewhimsical — Two words: rainbowmancy and hopepunk. Seriously, go to Fern’s blog and go through the witchcraft tag. So much good stuff.

@jasper-pagan-witch — Our very own TBR and Blogs Georg. I very much recommend checking out their sideblog @jasper-book-stash for brief book reviews.

@coinandcandle — Click through Coin’s pinned post for all sorts of goodies, including deep dives on deities.

@breelandwalker — Tumblr’s resident witchstorian! Check out her podcast, Hex Positive, for beginner-friendly, funny, informative content that ranges from spell techniques to the history of witchcraft.

@windvexer — Chicken answers questions of all sorts! We share the gift (curse?) of verbosity. Their answers are detailed and informative, and I aspire to that level of coherency in my rambling.

@stagkingswife — Silly! Hat! Theory! Stag’s views on spirit work literally changed my whole mind about godspousing and what makes a deity a deity. Legitimately.

@asksecularwitch — Spells Georg. THE secular witch. An icon whose gumption I respect above all others.

And… I’m so sure there are others I’m forgetting about. [gestures] All of my mutuals are lovely, follow them and throw money at their respective Ko-Fi and Patreon pages. (:

Off of Tumblr, I tend toward YouTube’s witch ecosystem. A few people I follow there are The Green Witch, the Witch of Wonderlust, Mint Faery, and Hearth Witch. Again, there are more, but these are the channels I follow most closely for their content!

Final thoughts?

This was fun to put together! I won’t directly tag anyone to respond with their own answers, because… well, this has been a beast of a project that’s taken several days to type out and more to edit. But if you’re a witchy content creator here on Tumblr, please feel free to check out the list of questions and post your own answers!

Replies, reblogs, and asks on any or all of the topics covered in this post series are very much welcome.

This is the final part of a series! Click here to view the masterpost to see all #OcculTea posts in this series. Replies, reblogs, and asks on any or all of the topics covered in this post series are very much welcome.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Is It Really That Bad?

Dreamworks has such a stellar reputation these days thanks to things like the reappraisal of Megamind as a subversive superhero masterpiece ahead of its time and The Last Wish being one of the single most epic animated films ever made, but there was a time where the studio got very little respect. You see, the studio found solid footing a lot quicker than you’d think, with the first two Shrek movies becoming smash (mouth) hits and The Prince of Egypt being an animated Biblical epic for the ages. Sure, Sinbad is the fourth biggest confirmed loss in box office history, losing Dreamworks $125 million, but they could definitely rebound with some of that Shrek money, right? Maybe, but when you bomb that hard, you’re probably in need of a little bit more cash. Clearly the best way to go about getting that is to recapture that Shrek magic with a star-studded snarky comedy full of pop culture references! What could possibly go wrong?

Well, you’ve got the lowest rated Dreamworks Animation film on Rotten Tomatoes, uncanny valley CGI that was derided even back at the time, a star-studded cast that seems overly excessive even by animated studio standards of the time, a nonsensical combination of animated fish and gangster movie tropes, accusations of racism towards Jamaicans due to the two jellyfish characters, competition from The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie and Finding Nemo, and even one of the own stars looking back on voice acting in the film as bad. That’s what could go wrong.

Still, some people look back on this movie fondly. You go to places on the internet where this movie is talked about and you’re bound to find some people saying how this movie was their childhood, and how it’s a riot, and how Will Smith is great… There has to be something to this, right? Shark Tale must have something to it if people still sing its praises, right? Is it… really that bad?

I mean, take a look at Oscar and you tell me.

Alright, alright, I’ll actually give it a fair shake. Here goes.

THE GOOD

Look, when you have this much talent in a film, you’re bound to accidentally stumble onto a few good things.

Easily the best thing in the movie is Martin Scorsese as Sykes, Oscar’s boss and the fish who most has to put up with Oscar’s boneheaded antics. The acclaimed director really shows off his funny side with this one, and the fact he has to deal with the problems of an obnoxious Will Smith fish make him surprisingly sympathetic. He’s genuinely a lot of fun, and the movie gives him plenty of screentime so you don’t have to worry about him being underutilized, and he manages to make any scene he shares with Oscar more tolerable.

Then we have the sharks. Specifically we have Robert de Niro playing the mob boss Don Lino; despite this being the most basic de Niro role you could possibly give the guy, he still manages to make it entertaining. In a broad sense, the entire shark mob gets a fair share of solid jokes, which is compounded by the bumbling octopus lackey Luca, who gets a few chuckles with his comic relief antics. Overall, our antagonists are pretty solid… and more enjoyable than our hero.

Then we have Lenny. I think Jack Black’s vegan shark is a bit of a divisive figure, but rewatching the movie, I honestly liked him and his storyline. For a movie from the early 2000s (and a comedy at that), it surprisingly tackles the topic of homosexuality in a tasteful manner. Yes, it is blatantly obvious and heavy-handed, and it’s not executed in a way that the film can make better use of it, but I think it’s a pretty bold and resonant message. If only the film had focused on Lenny and had it be his story instead of letting Will Smith’s stupid “Shark slayer” plot steal all the screentime; the movie is literally called Shark Tale, why is this not the story of the gay shark?! Why are we spending so much time with some whiny fish who lies, cheats, and acts like a dickhead to everyone around him?

Oh yeah and there’s a shark voiced by Peter “Columbo” Falk. That kinda rules.

THE BAD

Hey, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I do not fucking like Oscar.

Oscar is easily one of the worst protagonists ever conceived. He’s selfish, self-centered, stupid, egotistical, oblivious, obnoxious… It’s honestly mind-boggling that they cast one of the most charming and charismatic actors of all time and had him play a character antithetical to everything that he is as a performer. The entire movie is founded on him lying and taking credit for something he didn’t do, scamming multiple corporations out of brand deals in the process, gambles away his best friend’s precious heirloom and loses all the money, rarely takes responsibility for his actions… Honestly, this whole segment could just be listing all of Oscar’s negative traits and actions. And all of this could be forgivable if he was funny, but he’s not! He is utterly cringeworthy every time he attempts humor, and don’t even get me started on the romance.

Actually, no, let’s get started on the romance! Oscar and Angie’s relationship is fucking awful and toxic. This is the original Reylo right here, an unpleasant romance between characters with zero chemistry that is just overwhelmingly miserable and unhealthy. Angie refuses to communicate her feelings to Oscar and gets mad and jealous when he remains oblivious, and Oscar s just pretty callous and oblivious to Angie. There is no way any relationship with these two would actually last.

And then there’s Lola, the Angelina Jolie fish. Now, I ain’t saying she’s a gold digger… But she ain’t messing with no broke fish. Her relationship with Oscar is so blatantly telegraphed from the start as being manipulative and superficial, but he goes for it anyway. And while that is basically shoved in your face from the word go, you know what isn’t? The fact she’s able to pull some strings and work with the mob to kidnap Angie! How the fuck did she get in league with the sharks? Why did this not come up before? Why is this movie trying to frame this fish as a sexy femme fatale?

And there’s another thing: The animation in this film is abysmal, even for the time. The Shrek movies have aged more gracefully than this, and have you seen how Puss looked in Shrek 2 lately? This movie was bad even back then, with all of these fish designed to resemble their actors. Funnily enough, the more tolerable characters like Sykes and Lenny are a lot easier on the eyes (relatively speaking at least), while the worst characters are just unbelievably ugly. Angie, Lola, the jellyfish, and of course our old pal Oscar. It’s just really weird and awkward.

And maybe all of this would be easier to deal with if the film wasn’t so relentlessly unfunny and generic. When you get down to it, this is the most by-the-numbers mob movie and “liar revealed” story you will ever see. And while it’s trying to be funny, it’s generally failing miserably. Almost every joke is either a reference or an incredibly lame pun; there’s even a point where, while hamming it up, Oscar just rapid-fire spouts off movie quotes. And on top of everything else, the characters being fish really adds so little to anything that changing everyone to humans would improve things exponentially. Like it still wouldn’t be great, but we wouldn’t have to look at the aquatic version of Cats.

THE UGLY

Okay, I decided to save this for last. Ernie and Bernie, the two jellyfish, are widely viewed as Jamaican stereotypes due to their designs, voices, and singing of a Bob Marley song. They are probably the least-liked characters in the movie, and are seen by some as racist stereotypes.

The way I see it, while I don’t particularly like them, it’s not an Apu situation we have going on here, these aren’t two white guys putting on offensive accents. This is full-blooded Jamaican Ziggy Marley (the literal son of Bob Marley) and part-Jamaican Doug E. Doug playing stereotypical characters. Are they instantly not bad or offensive just because the actors match the ethnicity the jellyfish are stereotyping? No, of course not! But I do think a little context and nuance is needed here. They’re more annoying and stereotypical than outright offensive, but if you see them as offensive I can’t say I blame you. I just don’t think Marley and Doug were intentionally trying to offend.

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?

Look, if you were hoping I’d be the shining beacon in a sea of mockery, here to tell you Shark Tale is an unsung Dreamworks masterpiece, I’m about to disappoint you. This movie is bad. Like, really, genuinely bad. You have to be seriously blinded by nostalgia to think this movie is good. It is basically “How Not To Make An Animated Film 101,” committing every single crime that made 2000s animation awful, from the bloated celebrity cast to the excessive pop culture references to the poor world building to the dance party ending.

That being said, this is an utterly fascinating bad movie. This is a film that’s fun to talk about, fun to mock, and like I mentioned above there’s still some genuinely good elements that keep this from being truly painful. This film is many things, but boring is not one of them. When it comes to “So bad it’s good” animation, this film is top tier, though your enjoyment of it will definitely hinge on how well you can stomach the terrible animation. That solid 6 is a little bit generous if I’m being honest, but at the same time, as far as bad movies go this one is an enjoyable one. I mean, what’s the Disney equivalent to this, a pop culture poisoned shitty, generic animated movie? Chicken Little. Shark Tale is a million times better than Chicken Little, so if it has one thing going for it, it’s that.

[4townie]

Road to 4☆TOWN

part 11

“You’re sure you won’t come in with me?” Taeyoung asked, hugging Aaron T.

“I know you’re nervous about going home, but I haven’t seen my mom in two months.” Aaron reminded him. “She just got engaged and we have to talk about moving out. Plus, she’s my mom and I missed her.”

“Then can I go with you?” Taeyoung held on tighter. “I’m sure my parents won’t mind if I stay at your place for a few hours.”

“Yeah, right. Your mom would kill me if I kept her baby away for a second longer than I needed to.” Aaron rolled his eyes. “I don’t know what you’re so worried about anyway. You know your mom’s gonna be ecstatic to see you again.”

Taeyoung was quiet. “And my dad…?”

“I mean, I know he’s a little quieter but I’m sure he missed you.” Aaron assured him.

The bus came to a stop.

“This is you, Taeyoung.” Courtney called him from the front of the bus. “I think I can see your mom at the window already.”

“Thanks, Courtney.” Taeyoung started to get up. “Guess I can’t stall. I’ll see you on—”

“Wait, Tae.” Aaron took off his hat and placed it on Taeyoung’s head. “I may not be going in with you, but I’m still there for you.”

Taeyoung smiled. “Awwww, thanks, Aaron.” He hugged him again. “But wait, you hate being without your hat.”

“I’m just going home. It’s no big deal.” Aaron shrugged. “Besides, you can give it back when you come over tomorrow.”

“I feel better already.” Taeyoung said with a small sigh. He grabbed his bags and adjusted the hat . “Well, here goes nothing.” He got off the bus and walked what felt like a mile to the front door. He looked over his shoulder and saw Aaron waving as the bus drove off. Before he could wave back, he was being pulled into the house.

“TAEYOUNG!” Dasom yelled as she hugged him. “Oh, baby, I missed you so so much. Don’t ever leave me for that long again.” She gave him a million little kisses.

“Mom, please.” Taeyoung chuckled a bit. “Plus, you know we have another tour in Australia this October.”

“Well, then your father and I will simply have to take a month’s vacation to Australia this year.” Dasom shook her head. “I can’t stand to be apart from my baby that long.” She hugged him again.

“I don’t think either of you can take a vacation that long. Especially not Dad.” Taeyoung grinned. “By the way…where is he? Is he home?”

Dasom paused. “Oh, uhhhh—”

“Jagi, the jacuzzi’s ready for—” Jihun stopped at the bottom of the steps. “Oh. Taeyoung, you’re back.”

“Hi, Dad.” Taeyoung waved awkwardly.

“Uh…how was the trip?” Jihun asked.

“It was okay. I got a little sad on Christmas since I was away from you and M—”

“Good, good.” Jihun cut him off. “I’m glad you had a good time.”

There was an awkward pause.

Taeyoung started walking towards him with open arms. “I missed you, Dad.”

“And I missed you, son.” Jihun nodded, stopping Taeyoung before they could hug. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go drain the jacuzzi.” He headed back upstairs with a look of disappointment.

“I guess he got used to me not being around.” Taeyoung said quietly. “Now I feel kinda bad for ruining your fun…”

“No, no, no!” Dasom rushed over to him, gently cupping his cheeks. “Your father and I missed you everyday you were gone. We just got a little taste of what it’ll be like when you get married and move out, and to be honest I didn’t like it one bit. Okay, well maybe a little.”

“Mom, please.” Taeyoung groaned. “He didn’t even hug me. You don’t have to sugarcoat it.”

“Oh, dear, you know how he is.” Dasom stroked his hair. “He’s just not very good at showing affection.”

“Every Valentine’s Day, birthday, and anniversary of yours, he buys you red roses, takes you out to dinner at your favorite restaurant, and spends the night with you at a hotel.” Taeyoung narrowed his eyes. “I get shipped off to Aaron’s house even though Valentine’s Day is literally my birthday.”

Dasom frowned at her son. “Awww, sweetie. I—”

“Jagi?” Jihun called from upstairs. “I accidentally added bubbles instead of draining it.”

Dasom started giggling. “I’ll be right there.” She called up to him. “Why don’t you unpack your bags and have some dinner? There’s some kimbap in the fridge.”

“But, Mom, I kinda wanted to talk about—”

Dasom rushed up the stairs and shut the bedroom door behind her. Taeyoung sighed as he was met with silence once again.