#like its clear what they are but they arent that
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also, if youre a fat dude like me and you had top surgery + liposuction around the sides to remove side boob and the extra skin, guess what! We get long exagerated scars! My scars start in the center of my chest and go all the way around my torso, leaving only about 6 inches of clear skin on my back. Id say each sides scar is about 14 inches long. We exist. Our scars arent cringe or scary. Theyre not botched. This isnt just transandrophobia and bullshit cringe culture, its also fatphobic and ableist. No scar is cringe.
thinking about top scars again, but I'm seeing the link here between "you can't make top surgery scars in artwork look exaggerated/"cooler" because that's unrealistic and you're being cringe" really ties into a LOT of transandrophobic/anti-trans masculinity rhetoric that relies on trans men being "cringe" or "lame". Like some people within the community (and even outside of it) excuse their cruelty (in more casual settings such as engaging with media or creating artwork) with the age-old "Well you're cringe and embarrassing, your joy is embarrassing to me so it's okay for me to treat your like you're lesser"
It's not the same as the systemic oppression that trans men face ofc but there's always this lingering cloud around trans masculinity that A: assumes that your existence and joy is childish and embarrassing and B: doesn't permit you to actually HAVE something cool, like stylized top scars in artwork, because then you're trying to be cool which is also cringe.
As a side note; Non-binary people also face this a lot, it was the basis of the argument I had with that other person who insisted that non-binary people don't experience oppression to the same magnitude as binary trans people while he peppered his takes with "Moss only has to worry about people not accepting their pronouns while they dress like a girl" (where this means feminine person who was afab but is not a woman = attention seeker who doesn't deserve respect.) I'm not non-binary though and encourage other ppl who are to speak on their experiences.
Cringe culture needs to die. But it's not as easy leaving people alone who watch whatever show they want to no matter how shitty and childish we think it is. It also means challenging internalized bigotry that we may have deemed okay because everyone else is doing it.
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not the same anon but chiming in on your feminine men conversation, to learn not to disagree.
i agree the 'rejecting male assignment' thing is clunky and flawed, but suzie eddie izzard IS a woman? (i know you never said she wasnt, that's not what im saying). she may not reject maleness, plenty of nonbinary transfems have reasons they dont, but even before she described herself as a woman (which she always kinda has) that being female was core to her facing transmisognyny right? the same with closeted trans women, including ones who arent feminine?
i think the violence feminine men face is grounded in transmisogyny, and can be life-defining, but theyre not the target right? its 'oh youre like a trans woman, we hate them, we're gonna deride you for being like them, you better not become one.' the path splits based on whether you are actually a woman, same threat different consequences. which is then why you can get some pretty transmisogynistic feminine men, who grasp that the 'leg up' they can get in the gender hierarchy is by kicking down. i also see how for a lot of feminine men its a very ambiguous situation, and some embrace sisterhood while identifying fully as men. ive known ppl whod see themselves as transfeminine men, and ive known cis feminine men, i spose the delineation is so situational.
what if we posed it that all homophobia, actually, is rooted in transmisogyny? cis gay people arent TMA, but trans women are at the heart of that system of oppression, so transmisogyny defines how homophobia is practiced and enforced, and defines how cis queers break solidarity too
i mean first of all, plenty of transmisogynised people do not have this internal “woman” sense that you are talking about. i think you’re being very reductive & resorting to an identity politics slanted view of something that is in fact material in nature.
also i don’t know how the conversation changed from crossdressers & femboys specifically to the ever elusive “feminine men”. i think it’s pretty clear to me that paradoxically, whilst these identities try to conceptualise themselves otherwise, they are in fact gender identities (or gendered identities?) that reject a male assignment. if it was just a kink or a preferred clothing, it wouldn’t be conceptualised as an identity. people into spanking don’t think of themselves as “Spankers” and people who like wearing skirts don’t think of themselves as “Skirtdressers” like it’s being conceptualised as part of Themselves. seems like a pretty veiled but decidedly gendered rejection of male identity to me. 🤷♀️
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How to explain that when I say I ship zanemau I don’t actually ship zanemau like I ship them together but its not a ship like its kinda a qpr but also never canon zane & aphmau only the very specific ideas i have of them in my head based off of seasons 1-3 of mystreet like they love each other but its not romantic but its more than platonic its a secret third intense option idk
#like frodo and sam or dan and phil#like its clear what they are but they arent that#BUT ONLY MYSTREET i dont ship mcd!aphmau with anyone#and ive made zane have toxic yuri so#UGH#zanemau#zane mystreet#aphmau mystreet#i wanna rewrite mystreet now#aphmau#minecraft diaries#minecraft roleplay#aphblr#mystreet
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More than ever, i feel like executives should be the first people in a corporate structure to see a pay cut before any employee is laid off
THAT is where the wasteful spend is. In CEO and other executive suite salaries. The actual people making the product being sold arent the waste
#like what do you contribute to the project huh?#and yet your salary is absurd#you could easily cut your salaries to keep staff on but you dont#also specifically with EA like.... YOU made a lot of the bad decisions?#the decade long development due to trying to force the project into something the dev team isnt known for#and shelving it to work on a different project... that is something the dev team isnt known for#and i gotta be honest i do think the top level of bioware has probably not been the most... on top of things?#but i think EA has as much a part to blame with their meddling#i would say if you arent willing to fund the kind of games the team makes sell them but.....#either they would have gone to Embracer who overspent and still hasnt produced a single worthwhile game out of it#or they would have just gone under anyway#but like... its clear EA has had it out for Bioware for years#you know what OTHER game underperformed? .... FC 25 (:#but you arent hearing about layoffs in EA sports!!! (:
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time to make your choice only you can be the one
#undescribed#bonk.png#ggg#great god grove#great god grove spoilers#ggg spoilers#<- bc of king n hand gesturing stuff for the au this one gets the spoiler tag#caption is a line from legend of everfree from eg movie of the same name bc its now linked to ggg for me bc of brainrot#first au stuff i dont like have anything really planned out n also dont really plan on doing anything with this beyond doodles#settled on inspekta being a horse bc i want him capochin patty n king to all be earth ponies bc of like permanent having it ingrained from#being an mlp fan as a kid that earth ponies are seen as less special bc they cant use magic or fly n that fits for story similarities#bc inspekta n capochin hating on patty for projection reasons AND inspekta's replacement anxiety n envy of king who in the au#is the only other earth pony lined up to become an alicorn (bc again being specifically an fim fan since i was a kid ingrained in with fanon#that ponies that become alicorns are almost exclusively pegasus or unicorn bc of earth ponies not having as clear of a connection to magic)#in my mind patty is the main character like the bizzyboys are also main characters but its like how the mane six are the main six but#twilight is the MAIN main character its like that n then godpoke is her sidekick (like spike ig but like mysterious stranger style <- idk#what i mean by this) she gets to be the protag bc the type of character godpoke is in the game n how im fitting them to be in the au doesnt#really work for a protag role while patty can be more readily slotted into mlp protag shes the only bizzyboy who cares about solving in the#game (as shown in hobbyhoo) n i like her so she gets to be the protag v-v inspekta is still doing the whole like shit from the game just in#a different way bc of mlp related restrictions n tone differences. the episode where luna goes to nightmare night after being freshly reform#ed walked so milldread section could run however cobigail's deal does run closer to that episode that to the game counterpart but like witho#ut cob having been banished for a thousand years theres no rift in the au bc its. mlp so sort of vague direction is related to the tree of#harmony n like maybe thats how inspekta powers up for the two parter transformation. a thought i had for a workaround for how inspekta keeps#king isolated was maybe turning king to stone n hiding her in plain sight but while that would slide in mlp (they turn a child to stone in t#he series finale apparently??) it leaves a bad taste in my mouth from the ggg angle so probably gonna do something else#art comments both inspekta n cobigail's pony names are taken from ponies i already had inspekta's comes from a different mlpied thing#n cobigail's comes from a fankid (spelled like kandi corn tho bc fankid's a rave girlie) the rest of the gods get to keep their names aside#from maybe bauhauzzo (whos role is undecided) huzzle n click clack arent ponies bc i felt it suited them more huzzle gets to be discordesc#bc i think its fun if like this versions god of chaos wasnt evil BUT that angle is used as slander against huzzle by inspekta#n click clack's a breezy bc small n bratty (we will be ignoring that breezies are mortal if i remember right bc thats not relevant)
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see i do think there have been actual instances of fandom people just deciding two characters are siblings with no real basis and acting like its canon and forcing that interpretation on others and getting mad at people who disagree . but a lot of the characters i see people list as examples of this happening with are just actually stated to or heavily implied to see eachother as siblings by the source material and at that point i think you just dont see adopted siblings as real siblings idk what else to tell you
#like if i were to give some sonic examples of this happening i would say (game/comic/etc) sonic and knuckles or sonic and shadow#ive literally seen people get hate comments on their art of those ships saying its incest or whatever even though. thyere not brothers ..?#but whenever i see people talk about this sort of thing happening in the sonic fandom their examples are always fucking.#sonic and tails?????? or shadow and maria?????????#what are you TALKING about those characters are literally outright stated to view eachother as siblings#and in sonic and tails' case even if they werent brothers the age gap is still reason enough to be grossed out by people shipping them ..#i think your ejust being stupid about it on purpose#also to be clear i dont care if people wanna decide characters are siblings with no real basis ive literally done that before#i love doing that actually#i just dont think its reasonable to do that and expect everyone on earth to agree with you#thats not the point of the post though the point of the post is people pretending that adopted siblings arent actally siblings
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kon sweetie im so fucking sorry that someone would even say something stupid like that oh my god.
#rimi talks#paraphrasing the beyonce gif bc i dont remember exactly how it goes but.#sometimes people follow me and i really genuinely don't know why at all because their blog header and desc make it extremely clear#that they are someone i want on my block list PRONTO. like. what are you doing. why are you coming into my house#have i not made it clear enough that i hate that shit. why are you trying to follow me. get OUT of my activity page block button SAVE MEEE#PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY READ COMICS AND ARENT STUPID SAVEEE MEEEEEEEE#anyway i apparently have not been clear enough about my opinions so let me speak my truth.#i think jason todd is really fucking annoying. i don't like 99% of fan content about him and i don't like 99% of his fans.#i think that jay // tim is a dumb ship and i think that jay // kon is an even worse one and i think jay// tim// kon// sucks SHIT#i also think that you should simply read comics before you start posting about the characters from said comics.#like i recognize that i cant stop anyone from posting bad opinions but i would love to not see them <3#anyway im chasing people out with a broom. OUT OF MY HOUSE. OUT. OUT#IM A COMICS BLOGGER. NOT A ''BAD TELEPHONE GAME ABOUT SOMETHING SOMEONE HEARD ABOUT A COMIC ONCE'' BLOGGER#OUT OF MY HOUSE ! ! ! !! ! ! !!#merry shitscram. now scram your shit and go. is this anything#<- i have to make bad jokes or ill die. you understand.#and like tbc this was just case of ''blog desc header and top posts were all really fucking annoying''#and not ''something actively harmful or evil'' like its fine its just Extremely deeply not my cup of tea yk#but i do also have to be dramatic about reading words in an order that i really hated sometimes. or i will also die.#anyways. take my hand. read superman (1987) 155
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you think you're a regular guy and totally not one of those scary rural people from a horror movie and then a visiting friend is like "is someone else in the pasture, I hear talking" and you're like "oh nah, sound just travels weird in the holler" and you have to admit some things about yourself
#like. it manifestly does. travel weird. in the holler#and sometimes you can hear stuff happening clear across the valley like its next to you#but the thing is i am like oh this person is from georgia i can say holler#and theyre from atlanta.#people from Atlanta arent people who wont ask you what a holler is as it turns out#follow for more hot mountain people updates next week i shall use the word yonder in a sentence#ga t
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suicide cw
look i have been in this area before mentally. it sucks and i wouldn’t wish this on anyone. but, and this is going to sound callous, but i don’t feel any sympathy for james somerton. even if i hope he’s like. not dead. But thats all the amount of goodwill im willing to give him. The more i think about this really, the more angry i am.
ngl this entire situation is another example of how white people weaponize their mental illness to avoid consequences. Im seeing it in real time.
this man has a continuous habit of using self-harm as a get-out-of-jail-for-free card. in both of his apologies, he has worded his supposed attempts in ways that were clearly meant to guilt people who displayed his plagiarism and overall horrendous history of racism and misogyny. i say supposed because, while i’m not saying those are lies and this would he such a fucked up thing to lie about that i don’t want to think he has, unfortunately, it’s been proven again and again that his word can’t be trusted, as he’s known to lie to try get out of consequences. Hes a proven liar. him lying about this is actually the best case scenario, because no one should go through this entire situation, wouldnt wish this on anyone, but you can only do this so often before people stop sympathizing with you. is this callous? Yeah, but like. I’m actually fucking angry he cant straight up take no as an answer. that this is how he reacts realizing he cant be one of the Cool Kidz™️ on youtube anymore. he acts like he DESERVES a career, like its not a privilege hes lost due to his own actions.
He lied about apologizing and forgiving people, he lied about giving the money to hbomberguy to give to ppl he ripped off (yknow, instead of doing it himself), he lied about the jessie gender situation and rewrote the narrative to make it so he isnt the bad guy, and hes the victim all along actually!
you can’t tell me that supposed last message of his isn’t meant to be a 13 reasons why esq attempt to deflect the blame “look i’m going to kill myself and it’s all YOUR PEOPLES FAULT for not letting me achieve my DREAM of being filmmaker IN PEACE!!! I just wanted Nick’s (the guy who I have thrown under the bus again and again) portfolio up!! Im just being a good friend dont you all FEEL BAD” he refuses to take ANY ACCOUNTABILITY of any of his actions and he IS STILL trying to shove the blame over to other people again.
it’s also pretty ironic people are like “uhhh well hbomber’s fans harassed him!!!” like hbomber outright told people NOT to HARASS JAMES!!! ALSO acting as if james doesn’t have a very real documented history of STRAIGHT UP sending his fans to harass and threaten smaller creators, more notably women, trans, and bipoc creators. especially after he’s stolen typically very personal anecdotes so he could profit from them. so why can he do it but the second people are like “hey this guys an actual piece of shit.” and he can’t handle it suddenly people are trying to white knight his shit? like no he doesn’t get that. he doesn’t get that at all just because he couldn’t handle the consequences of his actions.
what? were supposed to stay quiet about a man profiting off of other minorities because he wanted to be the spokesman for all gay people? people tried to solve this on a smaller, more private scales for YEARS and he kept doing it. it was clear that the giant public video was the ONLY way to get people to notice. HE WOULDVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH STEALING 87 FUCKING THOUSANDS WORTH OF DOLLARS. HE CANT HANDLE THE FACT HE CANT GET AWAY WITH IT.
am i supposed to feel bad for the guy who basically threatened a trans woman with the police? i don’t care what anyone says, it’s so fucking obvious that he threatened jessie by implying he was getting the police involved in their conflict. what am i supposed to act like that didn’t happen? are we supposed to pretend like he didn’t glorify nazi’s and outright said that gay people made up a good chunk of the nazis? That he didnt say america joined ww2 bc they were jealous of the NAZIS. WHAT WOULD POSSESS YOU TO FUCKING SAY THAT. but then? He gives women (not even women most of the time, he misgenders nonbinary ppl constantly) shit for writing mlm. are we supposed to act like he doesn’t straight-up sees himself superior and better than people of color and steals their works to put himself on a pedestal? Are we supposed to act like he didnt spit on our elders by saying “only the boring gays survived aids” like man! Fuck you! He BLANTANTLY MAKES UP HISTORY TO PUT HIMSELF ON A PEDESTAL!! HE ACTIVELY TRIED TO REWRITE LGBT HISTORY TO SUIT HIS FUCKED UP NARRATIVES!
yes this sucks ! no one deserves this but no one should be making him a martyr. Thats what he fucking WANTS! He wants to be immortalized as a victim!! (again, supposedly, it was reported hes alive but its not confirmed).
The shit he got isnt near the amount of fucking callous behavior hes done again and again. Again, to drill this point, EVEN IF HE DIDNT CALL THE POLICE HE THREATENED A TRANS WOMAN INTO THINKING HE DID!!! The fact he tried to use a head injury to justify years of the outright ghoulish shit fucking astounds me. Why the fuck did anyone in his life thought it was a good idea to let him TRY to come back. in the end, he had options. he didn’t need to try to make a comeback. HE DIDNT NEED TO FUCKING LIE OR IGNORE THE SHIT HE WAS CALLED OUT ON the reality is, he wanted to come back thinking he could shove it under the rug, was told that no dude, you’re not allowed to be a youtuber anymore. you’re done. you need to move on and went full nuclear. it’s not on anyone’s hands but his own. HES BEEN DOING THIS TO HIMSELF!! But nah man we cant call his shit out bc hell may or may not kill himself. Fuck the other minorities who have the same issues but worse and sometimes BECAUSE of him. This is going to SUCKKKK so bad when other ppl, specifically white gays, are going to weaponize this shit to get away with their stuff.
#warning: do not read this post if you want me to be nice to james somerton. i am extremely mean in this post.#before anyone accuses me of shit i legit never contacted him myself or anyone involved. i am someone who witnessed this behavior repeatedly#again. i hope hes alive and well. the fact is him lying about this WOULD BE THE IDEAL SITUATION. BC NO ONE SHOULD GO THROUGH THAT. but.#he HAS to forever be the victim in his eyes. attempting doesnt automatically mean youre free of sin.#its just terrible to see that regardless whether or not he did do it#its very clear his attempts to run away from his consequences are working on some people#we need to acknowledge that if your shitty ex friend can weaponize a threat to kill themselves#so can this internet person after being called out for horrendous shit#like what was the alterative? what were people supposed to fucking do? be nice about it?#yeah as if poc and trans women arent historically given shit for being 'too mean' about wanting justice.#this isnt just the plagiarism this is the fact a white dude has been parading himself as THE speaker for the gays(tm) but has been using hi#gayness to shield himself from his misogyny racism transphobia and antisemitism#its very clear regardless this means that ppl r going to side with him and then give him benefit of doubt#if you cant handle the heat stay out of the fucking kitchen dude. this is the consequences of your fucking actions.#hes a disgusting person who cant handle being told no so hes going to drag everyone down with him#like. idk this entire situation is frustrating to me.#its also frustrating ppl trying to be moral abt it like 'see! i knew this was bad all along!' no you didnt. shut it.#for the record im like mainly talking abt twit watching those spineless uwu cutesy ppl basically saying hes done noting wrong#oh and also alt righters who are clearly weaponinizing this where u know they wouldnt give a shit if a right ytber did this.#james somerton#idk might delete this later its just. ugh...
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I'm gonna be anonymous when I say this because I have seen this done by many people... I strongly dislike the "Error and Nightmare gang are the good guys and trying to make the universe stable while The star sanses are the idiots who will not see reason" .. Like... I .. really? I'm not sure if the reason why I don't like it is because I have seen it so many times or what but it annoys me dearly. The members of the star sanses are reasonable and they are just often made as one sided ignorant people- I mean okay Lets go on the different pov, on the bad sanse side: You see them risk their lives every day getting themselves hurt over and over again all to defend different worlds for the sake of bringing what they believe to be peace and you label them as the fools who just want all the glory- really??? people who get hurt over and over again just do it for that stupid reasons??? I mean come on! Seeing as generally it is shown that the bad sanses want peace as well why not be trying to reach an agreement??? you fight over and over again and you couldn't even be bothered to try and reach their heads to finally listen to what you are saying like what "in a way" dream has done with nightmare countless times but they cant do the same? Just have them fight knowing that the other side are in the wrong and you choose to do nothing but break them?? Like is this your pride or something?? Why are they labelled as good guys yet they allow the other side to fight to their deaths with a good motive in mind but they only lack the full picture?? How am i suppose to "root for you" if this is what you do????? We get inside information of how peaceful they are and how they care for each other deeply, but if you care so much for each other why would you allow the other side to keep fighting your loved ones when they are missing the big picture, you know the big picture yet you say... NOTHING. NADA. ZILCH!! you cannot tell me that they don't listen to you when you barely speak up about the true issue or find a way to show them- you maybe say it once or twice in the whole story and then any other time you go straight to fighting or just avoid them.. COWARDS!! ALL OF THEM!! And in these stories the star sanses always state their reasons for their interference yet you cannot tell them why you are doing this?? All that comes out your mouth are insults and sneers, who would want to believe you when that is all the comes out of your MOUTHS... Excuse me... Just pissed sorry for the long rant.. Oh my gosh AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON DREAM AND NIGHTMARE, DUDE YOU GOT THE BALLS TO BLAME YOUR KID BROTHER FOR BEING A KID AND NOT RECOGNISING YOUR TRAUMA EVEN NOW AS YOU ARE MUCH MORE MATURE AND HAVE THE ABILITY TO REALIZE WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU BOTH AS CHILDREN????? Is he the one holding onto the past or is it you??? Night is always depicted as the dadmare, boss, the caring lover, the brother yet he doesn't even have the decency to face the fact he abandoned his brother in stone for 500 years or so, when he comes out you automatically hate him for something he had no idea or control of and choose to ignore his pleads, when your brother wants to reach you, you break him over and over again not wanting him in your life ever again when as i said before he was your "KID BROTHER" and you want to tell me your the good one for just wanting to cut him off with no answers or anything? You gotta be pulling my leg bro... and it would be a different story if the dreamtale background is different but no! it isnt! nothing is said to make it seem dream was an abuser of sorts, they were both hurt and yet you blame dream for all of it you have a whole ass support system yet that is your mindset??? I cant.... I really cant Uh sorry again for this long ass rant though =w=
anon our souls are holding hands resonating as one
my two cents on this (that isn't something i said. a million times before already) is that it's usually because people refuse to see the star sanses in the same light they do the bad sanses the people who actively dislike the star sanses and what they do usually do so because they can't relate to them, from what i've noticed
the bad sanses are easier to root for because of the fact that they are made of struggle and the dirty, gritty parts of morality and life so to say it's easier to think of good things in the middle of so much bad, because it's in our nature as people to look for hope or root for the good, no matter how little it is having the ability to look for goodness and love in so much evil is a form of love in of itself everybody struggles and life sucks and sometimes the world is evil and sometimes we do bad things, but that's the thing, the fact that we as people find something good in the middle of it all (like finding familial love bloom in the bad sanses, as an example) is very inspiring. at least to me!!! that's how i see it!!!! that's how i like to think people see it as well because that's how i see and enjoy them together so i can totally see why people find more relatability and love for the bad sanses. i really do get it and i agree!! like a lot!!!!! i love them too
but that exact reason is also why it really sucks that people just don't see the star sanses in the same light?
i wanna reemphasize my point in relatability: it's difficult for most people to relate to the star sanses because inherently they are the heroes, the protagonists, the main characters, because nobody are any of those things i feel like people often put them on a pedestal because of their central tropes and characteristics. they have it all already, they don't need more praise, right?
i think the biggest problem people have with the star sanses, like your whole ramble very clearly shows, is that they don't humanize them i feel like a lot of people assume that just because they are good and choose to be good and are praised for being good, they are unreachable people don't think they struggle. that it sucks being that.
it's often why i like writing the star sanses with so much struggle and so much mental illness lol, because being good is fucking HARD and they're as imperfect as everybody else. dream is anxious, ink is brash, blue is a workaholic, stuff like that
there's a lot to say but it's just....the bad sanses and the star sanses are two sides of the same coin. the bad sanses is finding good in the middle of, basically, evil and misdeed the star sanses is finding struggle in the middle of trying to do good
people often portray both of them black and white morals and it's why it gets frustrating and flat and badly written.
idk, just like how i find inspiration in the bad sanses of finding hope and love in the middle of darkness, i really admire the implications of the star sanses when you actually decide to humanize them. because if you make the star sanses struggle throughout their praise, glory, and righteousness, it's...really admirable that they still choose to do good.
like you said, the star sanses risk their lives often and fight, offering treaties and agreements, just to make things right that's so??? admirable????? like for the amount of times the bad sanses fucking fight them, i genuinely would've just given up completely, but they just....don't??? and that's so admirable and sweet? it makes them so deserving of their titles as guardians.
idk!!! this is a massive ramble too, i don't even know where i was going with it but like, yeah, i think i wanted to talk mostly about why people preferred the bad sanses over the star sanses and how it makes me sad i get you anon. with my whole body and my whole soul. i understand what you mean and i see you
#Anonymous#idk like. if these fuckers were real and protecting my multiverse id spare some sympathy for them#i would hate for people to call them stupid for not trying or not being the best bc theyre literally the only ones keeping me alive#< (hypothetical situation btw. thought id say that again in case it wasnt clear)#ive already talked enough about how i dont like people making the star sanses evil (unless its written well)#and pretend that everything the bad sanses do is good and that theyre sweet wittol babie beans#like what if i like them evil. they would kick my ass and that's what i prefer tbh#anyway yeah............different flavor ramble from me today i guess. im just sad the star sanses arent humanized ever
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Have you been assesed for adhd?
nope, though im pretty sure i got it ... or its something similar bc although also not officially diagnosed there is no way im not autistic OTL
the only things i have been .. 'diagnosed' with is anxiety and chronic depression, though both of which by a therapist that got arrested for fraud and harassment (hahaha .. ._.) and im not sure how much weight that can hold both bc of .. THAT and bc i honestly have no idea how much a therapist can do (its been many years since then too) and the only meds he ever offered me where like .. drugs ('herbs')
i have been thinking of asking our family doctor about it but im rather afraid of whatever process i gotta go through to get anything that might help since im sure its also not JUST adhd that causing all this (and ... im afraid it could impact how i am treated ... like if they know im autistic are they not gonna take me seriously anymore or stop me from making choices about myself.. welp theres the anxiety ndfjkgndfknvgfdk)
(and a new therapist is pretty impossible bc theres a really big problem of not enough therapists around ESPECIALLY where i live ... also fear bc of the previous one .. haha ._, )
#ganondoodles answers#ganondoodles talks#personal#i am german so whatever process it is in america is not gonna be how it is here#.....also doesnt help that i nearly got put in a ... mental health .. facility (idk what its called in english) when i was younger#and uuh .. barely managed to make them not do it#one of the scariest moments in my life#mom made the plan with my oldest sister in secret and drove me off to the doctor .. idk if they told me just before and forced me to go#or literally on the parking lot of the doctor .. i think it was the latter#being out on a parking lot and being talked down to by my sister (who never tried to talk to me about anything mental health wise btw)#AND by the doctor .. i had to convince him to not do it .. literally so scary#-and mom about putting me in some facillity .. cant even describe it .. to me it was pure horror#im sure those facilities arent that bad or soemthing but i felt like they where trying to kick me out and into a prison#i do NOT do well anywhere that isnt home#AND doing the thing i haven been trying to make it clear makes everything a thousand times worse-#-talking about it behind my back and then just doing things without me gettign any say in it and then given no choice#its literally the worst thing you can do!!!!#sorry TMI perhaps but!!! many things have happened!! bad!!
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You know, when I kept getting asked "so you didn't ever have severe pains before now?" in the hospital and I kept replying "I have a high pain tolerance" I meant it. However, there is only so much pain my tiny 4'9" body can hold... (aka I am sweating and in agony bc I'm getting told to use LESS severe pain meds so I don't rely on them too much and it is AWFUL)
#moe talks a lot#i was shaking earlier and despite the fact i sound like im gonna cry#and the fact that my mom can pick out im about to cry from pain bc im trying to take less pain meds#LIKE MY MOM IS INSTRUCTING ME TO DO#shes like well why arent you taking any pain meds#BECAUSE THERE ARE TWO AVAILABLE OPTIONS AND ON A SIX HOUR TIMER#i cant take both at once or else what happens to me if i hurt before the six hours is up#i have to manage them in a way that allows me to benefit from both and being told im doing it wrong#after being told well its your fault it got so bad because you never complained about pain before#YEAH NO JOKE? REALLY? I NEVER DID? because everyone acts like im too young to feel that kinda pain#oh youre hurting? just wait until youre older#and its currently agony to breathe again but that i guess is also my fault bc im trying to use pain meds#holy moly i just want to not get dizzy standing up cause wow dang#sure would be nice if the multiple incisions in my stomach didnt THROB every time i sneezed or coughed or cleared my throat#but since i didnt use much pain meds before because i would be mocked for being too much of a baby its like#welp damn now i could really use some and im being called out for being too reliant#anyway time to sleep more because that means im not noticing my pain#im literally smaller than most children and so i do understand my body size makes people worried about the medication intake#but can i please just go a day without being asked how much im taking or when i last took it or if im gonna cry#anyway sorry for the excessive rant today never really had surgery or anything so this is brand spankin new suffering
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Why are vetted accounts sending people stuff like this.
I mean it's clearly copy-pasted and sent to multiple people but this isn't even a donations ask. Imma guess the reason people aren't responding is because you're accusing them of not doing enough for Palestine and sending it to multiple people who you clearly don't check because I've been posting about and for Palestine since oct 7th when I learned about it.
Also yes he is looking for donations, you can check his account and find it. Why are you sending this guilt trippy stuff to people and accusing them of not caring enough? You don't know me? You send these to multiple people so your clearly not checking the account in question. This dose nothing to help you personally or the Palestinian cause, it just pisses people off and makes them question vetters.
#levi speaks#the second i put the daily click for palestine on multiple of my other popular non politcal blogs#i got a bunch of non vetted spam donations asks to the point i had to turn off my inbox#like why are they being sent to my completely empty blog without even a post on it nor a mention of Palestine#like a blog with litterally nothing on it but its pfp header and a tiny bit of type#im not saying they shouldn't reach out to as many people as possible but clearly spam accounts with stolen pictures have started#claiming they are vetted like ones with ai generated supposed irl photographs with so many fuck ups and water marks its not gunny#before you say im trying to claim hes a spam bot im not but seriously#ive gotten child gore like actual guts out child gore sent to my inbox by vetted accounts#like no i cant post your donations ask because it could get my whole account taken down you put gore in it#im native i get the plight but you cant be doing this#dont go harass this guy idk what his deal is and i dont care ive already blocked him#but seriously dont send gore dont send guilt triply stuff dont do any of it its why ive offically decided that no one is exempt anymore#from my no donations posts rule how can i trust vetters when copypaste stuff like this and gore get tossed around#i had one rule#in your ask state who vetter you so i could double check#ive deleted probably over a hundred copypaste donations requests because they couldnt state who vetted them#usually cause no one had even when they got suggested vetters to help#again i wanna be clear idk whose real or not and im not following that stupid conspiracy theory that they are all bots#or its a scam ring i dont believe that#i however absolutely believe that theres a bigger bot problem than people want to admit to#cause unless some of these victims are just copy pasting into thousands of inboxes all day every day#then its probably a bot and not one by a victim because bot campaigns cost astronomical amounts of money#like enough money to help them cross the border 6 times over#and if we follow Occam's razor well they arnt goong to waste thousands of dollars trying to buy bots to get more#they are just gonna feed themselves and escape#or give it to other loved ones who need to feed themselves and escape#or medical expenses but you get the jist they arent buying bots so if it read like a bot its probably not an actual victim#im sadly getting to the point where i only trust organizations#meant to help there
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#my art#vtubersona#pls do NOT think this is ai bc of any small discrepancies tht i got lazy to fix 😭😭 im literally j tryna brainstorm outfits 🥲#no ai usage (fuck that)#all pinterest outfit inspo and like concepts i Wanna Have (big sleeves n asymmetry etc etc)#anyways. be honest w me. do the colors read usamerican patriot. bc i was thinkin abt it n i got. concerned. bc Ew.#ESPECIALLY bc i wanted to have a star motif n i was like 'NO WAIT. ITS A LIL TOO RED WHITE N BLUE N STARS N STRIPES N SHIT#the color palette was based on colors some irl friends said they associate w me (bc i have trouble choosing sometimes) but im like 🧍🏽♀️#also. is it too shigaraki bnha coded???? red eyes + light/white hair?? 🤭🤭 like he dont OWN tht right??? 😭#anyways would love input on choosing a fit or even elements to keep n leave fr the diff designs. or more inspo/ideas even!!!#io vtuber concept#my ocs#my sona#uuuuuh i be forgetting what to tag always. also i made this draft on the wrong blog bc i usually post on the art blog first then rb here#but its whatever 🤷🏽♀️ life is life. ANYWAYS#mutuals pls feel free to offer input if u have any 🙇🏽♀️ ily#any n all little discrepancies are 1000% MANMADE bc i get TIRED and LAZY TO FIX SHIT and also these arent supposed to be like. Rendered#do not use for ai#idc if the lady doth protest too much ik my art doesnt look like ai but too many ppl are being accused of it lately tht its like.#Let Me Be Clear: I Fucking Hate That Shit (AI)
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one thing that continually astounds me i feel like many many people who arent engineers or engineering majors or whatever genuinely do not get that engineering Well has a lot of math. Like a pretty notable amount of mathematics. which sounds pretty intuitive when you think about it for like a second but many out there do not
#like ok bc on twitter earlier somebody posted a speedpaint of like a fisheye lens perspective drawing pretty epic pretty cool#and in the speedpaint they drew like a sphere and lines at angles for like perspective reference#and someone qrted it and went on this whole spiel about the false dichotomy btwn engineers and artists#and how many engineers would make good artists and artists make good engineers#and to be clear i definitely agree there is a false dichotomy there#But also. well im gonna be honest engineering problem solving requires you to be able to solve the problem#which at the very least includes. A lot of math. Which from my experience#most artists arent particularly inclined towards .#anyways this tweet had like a billion likes and like kind of annoyed me because i know what theyre getting at but also its not true#😭.#^also yes im deeply and profoundly aware there are many people out there#who are both artistically and engineeringly inclined. Myself included#that being said well the venn diagram overlap is not as big as apparently some would like to believe
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is anyone else kinda annoyed how obvious it is the SL game just wants to appeal to a certain cishet male audience because dude. how is it that nearly all the recent hunters added are women, half of whom haven't ever even showed up in the original story?? like, you can make a cool looking dude too you know. you could have another half of the population play your cash grabbing game if you just treated both genders with equal fanservice mindsets
#i havent read ragnorok so maybe they are in that but that also wouldnt fucking make sense#because thats a different setting anyway!#solo leveling arise#solo leveling#i just want liu zhigang....#ig they dont wanna add canon hunters yet bcuz they show up later but like??#and the recent summer skins are boring as FUCK#its just bikinis! and its ALL skins for the women. make the fanservice a lil less obvious wouldja?#im not saying only cishet males are appealed to by this but its very likely the studio's intention to be for them#at least fire rifle girl and the recent healer were in the story! why is there a japanese hunter who doesnt show up#isnt there still the other B team hunters from choi jong in's guild? there's even another woman there!#why yall keep making up new people#just counted and a MAJORITY of the ssr women added are original characters#also what the fuck is bigrock. when did this ever come up.#to be clear. i think having women is cool but i dont think theyre doing it with the intention to empower#like. all the hunter assoc npcs are also women and they arent even the women we've seen at the association!#why?? because they arent hot enough? cute enough?
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