#like it's all true things that happened but i'm mocking this asshole

[thebearer]

baby blues |carmen berzatto x reader|

prompt: two blue lines change all your plans, and carmen doesn't take it well. or how you tell carmen you're pregnant.

read the entire dad!carmen berzatto masterlist here!

contains: language, pregnancy, angst, carmen's an asshole, alludes to past parent trauma, hurt/comfort.

"Shit."

The hiss of your tone bounced off the green tiles of your bathroom, an eerie echo that rang dully through your mind. A reminder that this was all too real, happening right now in front of you- to you.

After weeks of what you thought was a stomach bug- retching at almost anything, exhaustion, aches- you had come to realize it might not just be a virus when you looked at the unopened box of tampons under the sink.

You were late.

A frantic trip to Walgreens, an hour of avoidance out of pure fear, three glasses of water, and two tests later; you were here. Looking at the two mocking blue lines on both tests. You were pregnant.

You called your best friend, Alicia, unsure of who else to confide in. Scared, emotional, overwhelmed, you sobbed into the phone, hand holding your head on the edge of the bed. "Carmen is gonna lose his shit."

"Carmen is not gonna lose his shit." Alicia soothed over your heaving gasps. "He will be fine. You both will be fine. You're married. What's the issue?"

You shook your head, swiping your thumb under your eyes. "You don't... Carmen and I haven't, like, ever really talked about kids." You muttered. It was mostly true. You hadn't really, other than euphoric pillow talk ramblings where you both were just bubbly with love, spilling shared wishes under sheets.

"I thought you said you wanted kids?"

"Yeah, but not now." You sobbed into the phone. "I don't... I don't think I'm ready to be a mom. I'm not gonna be good at that. I don't-I don't know anything about kids! And-And I can barely cook, and- Alicia, I couldn't keep our cactus alive! I killed our fucking cactus, and you think I'm ready for a kid?"

Alicia laughed lightly on the other end. "Ok, true, but you won't kill your kid. You'll be much more attached to it than the cactus." She countered easily, calmly. "And you'll be a good mom, babe. I know you'll be. And Carmen knows too. You know he does. Call your OBGYN and get an appointment. Make sure this is legit and get your vitamins and let me know what you need from me."

Two days later, you were laid on the cool paper at the doctor's office, eyes wide watching her drag the wand over your tummy. Seven weeks. The ultrasound clutched in your hand had an arrow where the baby was, it was still so small. A blip, a splotch right on your plans.

You decided to tell Carmen that night. He knew something was off with you, starting to get more and more suspicious. It was only a matter of time.

"Hey, baby." You grinned as excited as you could when he came home.

"Hey," Carmen chirped, grinning back at you when you kissed him sweetly, a little longer than usual, not that he minded. "How are you doin', baby? Good day?"

"Yeah, it was." You quipped, throat tightening, desperately trying to keep your voice from cracking. "I, uh, I have a surprise for you."

"A surprise?" Carmen's brows lifted, dropping his bag by the door. "What kinda surprise, huh? Somethin' under this?" He teased, hand sliding up your shorts, palming at your ass and making you squirm.

You couldn't help the fleeting thought that he wouldn't be able to do that for long. Not when a baby was in the house. Your throat burned with tears at the thought.

"No." You shook your head. "Just... Here, sit right here for me and I'll be right back." You kissed his cheek sweetly, running to the spare bedroom for the ultrasound. You wondered if this would be the baby's nursery. Or maybe upstairs in the makeshift workout room Carmen used. It felt odd planning this type of thing, thinking about this.

Your hands were sweaty, trying not to wrinkle the printed photo. It was your first after all. The first picture of many. Ones you secretly hoped would line the walls of your house. Pictures of the baby, with you and Carmen.

You hoped Carmen would be in them.

That horrid thought always made it's way back into your mind, rattling you to your core.

"Close your eyes." You tried to sing-song, playful and light like you usually would. The kind of tone that was silly, left Carmen grinning and doing what you said. Instead, it sounded tired.

Carmen still covered his eyes anyways. You took a soft breath, placing the photo in front of him. "Ok, y-you can open." You whispered.

Carmen's brow lifted, looking at you carefully before down at the table. He stilled, face unmoving, body halted, eyes zoned in on the ultrasound.

"Wh-What-What is this?" Carmen's tone was hushed, tight, like his chest felt. He was sure this wasn't what he thought it was. It couldn't be.

"I, um, you know I-I've been feeling not great." You started, wringing your hands in front of him. "And I... I haven't had my period in a while, so I went to the store and... and I got a test, and it was..." You motioned down to the ultrasound. "I'm pregnant, Carmen."

The house was still. That same eerie stillness creeping back in, looming over both of you in such a sickening way, it had your stomach twisting.

Carmen blinked, shaky hands picking up the ultrasound, refusing to look at you. "Oh."

"Oh?" You repeated. "Carmen, I-I said I'm pregnant."

"No, no, I, uh, yeah, I-I heard you." Carmen nodded, leg bouncing under the table. "I just... I thought you were on birth control."

"Carmen, what?" You snapped. "I am."

"Then-Then how the fuck-"

"-Oh, don't you fuckin' dare, Berzatto." You hissed, rolling your eyes at him, snatching the ultrasound off the table.

"I'm not fuckin' blaming you, but-but how?" Carmen could feel his heart rate rising, ears ringing and head spinning with that old, familiar feeling of a panic attack coming on.

"How?" You gawked at him. "Carmen, it's not, like, a one-hundred percent guarantee, and-and... Come on, Carmen, we've been fucking a lot lately."

"I don't..." Carmen stopped himself, his hand rubbing over his eyes. Your heart skipped, chest aching with fear when you looked at him. Carmen pushed his chair out, standing and pacing around the kitchen, hands on his hips, lips in a thin line. "I-I need to think. Fuck, I need to think, just-just..."

You tracked him, your own heart hammering loud in your ears. Carmen snatched his cigarettes, hands shaking when he turned them over in his hands slowly. You could practically hear his thoughts, when the baby is here, he can't smoke anymore.

"I need a fuckin' second, ok? I need to fuckin' think!" Carmen boomed, voice thundering off the walls, making you jump. Carmen snatched his lighter and Spirits, stomping out the front door, the slam of the door the last thing you heard before the house settled and stilled again. Your worst possible scenario played out in front of you, becoming a reality too.

You were alone.

"Cousin, can I ask you, what the fuck your fuckin' problem is?" Richie grit, sliding beside Carmen. "The fuck are you being such a jagoff about, right now?"

"I'm being a jagoff?" Carmen snapped, slamming the knife down. His eyes were wild, hair even wilder. Curls matted and sticking out like they did when Carmen was stressed, when he'd ran his hands through them too much.

"Yeah, you're bein' a fuckin' jagoff." Richie countered, voice raising over Carmen's. "You look like shit, you smell like shit, and you're treatin' everyone here like fuckin' shit. So what's the fuckin' issue?"

"Fuck you, Richie, alright? Fuck you. Get the fuck outta my fuckin' face!" Carmen roared, the vein in his neck protruding when he did, sending the few chefs still in the kitchen retreating before they were screamed at next.

"Y'know why don't you just fuckin' calm down? Makin' everyone here fuckin' miserable with your bad attitude. No wonder-" Richie stopped, eyes flicking down to Carmen. His shoulders dropped, sighing heavy at his own revelation. "What'd you do?"

"What? What did I... Fuck off, I'm not in the-"

"-Nah, Cousin. What did you do?" Richie shook his head. "Why's she not here today, huh?"

"I'm right here." Natalie muttered, turning the corner, balancing two cups and a large work bag. "I had to take Chelle to Pete's office so he can take her to dance, and traffic was..." Natalie laughed cynically, shaking her head.

Carmen felt his stomach twist, jaw tightening. That would be you two before you knew it. All over the place, late to shit because of the kid. Just like Sugar and fucking Pete. That made him Pete.

"Not you, but I'm glad to see you. How are you?" Richie muttered, pressing a chaste kiss to Sugar's cheek. "Carmen fucked up."

"I did not-"

"-You fucked up? On what, bear?" Natalie blinked, frowning lightly. "Oh, before I forget, where's my favorite sister in law? I have her-" Richie gave her a pointed look. Sugar stopped, face falling in realization. "Oh, that's... Carm, what did you do?"

"Can you two just fuck off? Fuck!" Carmen roared, kicking a pot under the table.

"Wow, anger issues much?" Sugar rolled her eyes at his dramatics. "Is this what you did? Is that why she isn't here?"

"No, Natalie, you're pissin' me the fuck off-"

"Alright!" Richie clapped his hands, cutting them both off. "Family meeting. Ok? Meeting time. Right now."

"I don't have time-" Carmen started, Richie just clapping his hands on his shoulders, shoving him away from the table.

"Natalie, family meeting." Richie waved her in.

"Family meeting?" Fak turned the corner, eyes lit up hopefully.

"Not with you, you fuckin'..." Richie huffed, shaking his head. "Me, Nat, and Carm are having a meeting. Do your jobs, ok? Don't bother us, just... handle it, alright? Thank you. Every second counts and all that bullshit." Richie nodded towards the staff, shutting Carmen's office door behind him.

"Carm, you... Are you ok?" Natalie winced, looking at her younger brother.

Carmen ran his hands over his eyes, slumped in his desk chair, knees bouncing nervously. His breaths labored and ragged in his hands. Richie's eyes cut to Natalie's.

"Cousin," Richie's voice was softer this time. "What is goin' on?"

Carmen took a shaky breath in, Richie stilling at the sound of his emotions. "You... You were right. I fucked up." Carmen muttered. "I fucked up. I fucked up so bad." Carmen's voice was tight, thick with tears he was trying to choke back.

Natalie stepped forward slowly. "Carmen, what did you do?" She said as calmly as she could. "Just-Just tell us, and we'll... we'll try and help you."

"Did you cheat on her?" Richie asked, brows furrowed in disgust.

"No, what? Why the... No, no, no, I-I..." Carmen leaned back in the chair, hands knotted in his hair. "She's pregnant."

Richie and Natalie paused, both sighing slightly in relief. "Oh my God, that's great!"

"Yeah, I mean, Cousin, I thought you... I'm glad you didn't, but that's great!"

"Aw, is that why she's been sick? Poor thing. I knew it! You know Pete said that, and I-" Natalie started, Carmen's sudden jerk of his body, sitting in the chair with frantic eyes stopped her.

"I don't know!" Carmen blurted, shaking his head, refusing to look at them. At their furrowed brows of concern. He couldn't face them. Tell them what he'd done.

"You don't know?" Sugar frowned in confusion. "You don't know if she's pregnant?"

"I-I..." Carmen felt his chest tightening, burning with that familiar ache. He tried to breathe in, slow and long, counting back from ten like his therapist told him, but his chest still ached. "I left."

The room filled with that same eerie silence, the one that seemed to be following him around lately. The one that crept into the room when you showed him the ultrasound, the same one that followed him into the restaurant last night.

"You left?"

"You fuckin' what?"

Natalie and Richie gawked, eyes wide and frantic, looking down at Carmen.

"Cousin... What the fuck? You don't... Holy shit." Richie muttered, shaking his head.

"Carmen, have you lost your mind?" Natalie snapped. She was angry- no, furious. "You left your wife? You left your pregnant wife?"

"Yes, fuck, yes, I just... I needed to fuckin' think!" Carmen threw his hands out. "I can't think! She just... We weren't planning it and-and then... I just needed to think!"

"Then think at home! Or-Or with the person you're having a baby with, Carmen, Jesus!" Natalie roared back.

"Cousin, you... you fucked up." Richie said solemnly, nodding in agreement. "I mean, I've done a lot of shit. A lot, ok? Just ask Tiff. But I...I never fuckin' left."

"No, she just fuckin' left you, right? Tiff couldn't take you bein' an-"

"Hey, woah, take it fuckin' easy, Cousin. Watch it. This ain't about me." Richie snarled, finger jabbing in Carmen's direction. "I didn't fuck this up, ok? You did. This is your shit. We're just tryin' to fuckin' help you, so why don't you do all that de-escelatin' bullshit and take a fuckin' breath and relax."

Carmen's teeth ground tight, eyes flickering over to Natalie. "I'm with Richie on this." She snapped. "You did fuck up. Huge."

Carmen could feel the burn, rising in his throat. Was it fear? Vomit? Tears? Regret? All of the above?

"I know, I know, fuck, I know." Carmen muttered, falling back into the chair. "I just... I know, and-and now I don't know..." Carmen could feel his heart rate, waves of guilt and realization crashing over him, leaving him feeling sick.

Carmen stood quickly, hands tangled in his hair, pacing in the small area of the office. "Holy shit, she's gonna leave me. She-She's gonna leave me, and-and... Fuck! Why do I always do this? I always fuck up! Always! Like... What the fuck? Why-Why-"

"-Carmen." Sugar said slowly, hands on his shoulders, stopping him. "Hey, breathe. Breathe. Just... Just relax, ok?"

"No, no, no, I-I can't fuckin' relax. I-I got to-" Carmen rambled, his chest squeezing, burning.

"Carm, look, just... Just do the breathing thing. Listen to Natalie." Richie nodded towards Sugar. "And we'll get it handled, alright? We can't fix this until you calm the fuck down."

"Richie," Natalie hissed, rolling her eyes in irritation. "Carmen, breath in through your nose, out through your mouth. Innnnn and Out." She mimicked for him, slow pulls of air and soft exhales.

Carmen could hear you. Hear you in his head telling him to calm down, feel your hands on his cheeks, your soft praises and coos. His heart ached but it tricked his mind enough to listen, shaky rasps of air falling in and out until he was on sitting in the chair, knee bouncing with adrenaline.

Natalie shook her head lightly, looking over at Richie, then Carmen. "You need to go talk to her."

"I know. I know, Nat, but I got a dinner rush-"

"Carmen." Natalie sneered, in that tone. The tone she used usually with her own kids. A tone of finality.

"I got it covered, Cousin, alright? I got it." Richie nodded, patting Carmen on his back. "Just... Go figure your shit out."

"Yeah." Natalie huffed, eyes narrowed at her younger brother. "You better bring that poor girl some flowers or something. Better make it up to her, Carmen, that is so gross of you."

Carmen nodded softly, grabbing his back pack, shedding his apron. "I-I'll have my phone on me-"

"-Go!" Richie and Natalie yelled in unison.

"I got it, Cousin." Richie shook his head.

"Yeah, and you have other things to worry about." Natalie snapped. "More important things, like your marriage, and your kid."

Carmen's heart skipped at that. It sounded weird, unnatural. His kid. Mind racing back to images of you with his niece and nephew. How Chelle took to you so naturally when you first met her, cradling her in your arms while Natalie scampered off for a shower. Carmen's heart swelled at the thought, how he had watched you, how good you were at it.

He knew you'd be a good mom. Had no doubt about that. That wasn't the issue. No, the problem was him.

Carmen Berzatto, who's family was the epitome of chaos, and who's genes this baby would have. Would the baby have your eyes and his crippling anxiety? His curls and his coping skills? Your nose and smile, and his family's addiction gene?

You would be the perfect mom. You were already so perfect in every way to Carmen. Too kind and forgiving and funny and sweet to him, he couldn't understand why you loved him sometimes. You would be good no matter what.

You'd be better without him.

His mind screamed it over and over. He couldn't shake the thought last night, sitting on the steps of your home, chain smoking through half a pack while his mind raced, horrible voices mocking and sneering at him, telling him he wasn't good enough; that he wouldn't be good enough. That you would be better off alone.

Then he was walking. Walking as fast as he could away from your home, back to the restaurant, where he could distract himself. Where he could trick his mind to focus on anything else other than you.

It didn't work, of course. It never did.

His mind still raced, all the way back to your home- his home. The home he shared with you. The place you bought for the future; your future together. A future that now, looked like it would be a little fuller.

You gripped the porcelain of the toilet seat, stomach lurching again, spilling the contents of- you didn't even know what. How there was anything left, you weren't sure.

Your nose burned with tears, head drumming with a dull ache, throat burning with the acidity flare of bile. And worst of all, the only person you wanted was Carmen.

You were furious, hurt, just... confused with him, but your body still ached for him. For him to come in, rub your back and coo at you. Settle you and calm you, like he always did.

The front door closed softly, the thud of the latch echoing through the all too still house. Anchovy chirped and trilled, Carmen's soft, raspy greeting back to him making your body jolt.

You stayed still, waiting and quiet with each muffled footstep of Carmen's, his sneakers falling closer and closer until the door opened gently. Your gaze on his, watching him with wide, red rimmed eyes from the bathroom floor. His own reflecting down on you, hand still gripping the door knob.

"You... You're still sick?" Carmen asked, awkward and unsure. He didn't know what to say, where to even begin.

"Yeah." You sneered, hand slapping on the knob, flushing the toilet. "Guess that'll be happening for a while."

Carmen flinched at your tone. You were angry. No, you were hurt. The revelation made him feel like he needed to throw up next, the ache in his stomach rivaling the one in his chest.

You pushed up off the tub, Carmen's hands reaching to help you. You slapped them away with a menacing scoff. "Don't touch me." You snapped. "I've got it."

Carmen nodded, backing out slowly, giving you space to brush your teeth. He didn't miss the tremor in your hands when you held the toothbrush, refusing to meet his eyes in the mirror.

"I..." Carmen's voice shook, a squeak of a word that had wobbled when he spoke. "I, uh, I-I'm sorry."

Your eyes flashed to his furiously, lips pursing. "I know that's... fuck, that's not..." Carmen sighed heavily, a grounding breath to soothe his nerves, get the shake out of his voice. "I don't know what-what else to say other than... I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" You sneered, turning to him, your tone unnervingly calm. "You're fucking sorry?"

"Yeah, I-"

"-You left me!" You roared, chest heaving with fury. Your fears and sadness had turned into rage, pure rage.

"I go outside to check on you, and you're gone! Who the fuck does that, Carmen? What the fuck is wrong with you?" You screamed.

"I-I don't know, I just..." Carmen's chest tightened, strangling his words. The pounding in his chest had returned, as had the queasiness in his stomach.

"You just? Just what, Carmen? Just don't want to be with me anymore?" Your voice cracked, tears brimming your waterline.

The silence was back. Uncomfortably loud and suffocating. Neither one of you moved, just stared at each other through heaving chests.

"I-I..." Carmen swallowed the bile rising in his throat. "How could you... You think I-I don't want to be with you?"

"Well, what else am I supposed to think, Carmen?" You scoffed, throwing your hands out in exasperation. "You left!"

Carmen winced at the harshness of your tone. "I didn't... I just needed to think-"

"-Think?" You scoffed. "Think about what exactly, Carmen? Huh? Whether you were going to stay-"

"-No! Fuck, no!" Carmen barked, mind racing and overwhelmed. Hands trembling, heart pounding, he stared at you. "About... About how it would be. About how I would be."

"How you would be?"

"Yeah, how I would be." Carmen snaps, a little too defensive even for his own liking. It was habit, even after years of trying to be better, it still crept out at times.

Carmen took a breath, turning to you. "I'm... I don't think I'm going to be a good dad."

Your own heart sunk, a dull ache in your chest, heavy with the weight of his words. The fall of his face, lips curling downward. "Carmen," You said softly. "Why-Why would you... We've talked about having kids before."

"Yeah, but not... I thought I had time." Carmen admitted, hands shaking when he crossed his arms over his chest to still them. "I-I thought I would have some time to-to get my shit together."

You paused, watching his face crumble. The deep breath he took to keep himself from crying- from breaking. "I don't- I don't wanna be a bad dad. I don't wanna fuck this kid up." Carmen whispered, eyes darting everywhere but your own. He couldn't look at you when he said it, sure when he saw the sorrow in your own eyes he would crumble at your feet.

"Carmen," You said softly, taking a step towards him. He took one back, distancing himself. He knew what you were going to do. Reach out and comfort him, make him feel better- he didn't deserve that.

"Carm, please," You begged lightly. "You... You know you're gonna be a good dad-"

"-No, no, I don't know that." Carmen scoffed, shaking his head. "I mean, my fuckin' dad was a piece of shit, so was his dad, so-so will I. And-And I don't wanna do that to this kid. I don't wanna do that to you."

"Stop." You snapped, lips pressed together, sniffling to keep your own tears at bay. "Just...Just stop. Ok? Stop. You're... Do you really think I would have married you if I thought that bad of you? Do you think I would have ever even entertained the thought of having a baby with you, starting a family, if I thought you'd be shitty?"

Carmen's own eyes shone with unshed tears. You blinked, wiping the hot tears that ran down your cheeks away. "I'm scared, too. I-I called Alicia over you because I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how you would react." You admitted.

Carmen nodded, you could see the hurt in his eyes. "So you knew I would react like this? You didn't tell me because you knew I'd be a bad-"

"-No, I didn't tell you because I know you don't like surprises." You snapped. "I know you don't like to be fuckin' blindsided and-and shocked. I don't either. I knew it would shock you. I knew it wasn't apart of our plan right now." You held his gaze, eyes hard when you met his.

"But I never thought you'd be a bad dad." Your tone was firm. It made Carmen's heart swell. "I still don't think you'd be a bad dad, for the record. I think you're an asshole, and I'm furious with you." You said pointedly.

Carmen nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I... I don't blame you f'that." He muttered, looking down at his hands, wedding band shining almost mockingly back up at him. "Sugar's pissed at me. Richie, too." He paused, eyes lifting to yours. "I'm mad at me too."

"Yeah? Me too." You sigh, looking at him. "You can't just leave-"

"-I know." Carmen nodded. "I-I know. I don't... I'm sorry." Carmen looked at you, shoulders falling slightly. "I'm so sorry."

You nodded gently, wiping your eyes with the back of your hands. "This is not how I thought this would go, honestly." You admitted with a small, wet laugh.

"Which part?" Carmen hummed, hesitantly reaching out to wipe your tear stained cheek with the pad of his thumb.

"All of it." You sighed. "But telling you. I-I always thought I'd do one of those cute, little Pinteresty things and surprise you."

"Yeah? 'm sorry." Carmen muttered, his heart fluttering with guilt again. "Maybe next time?"

You scoffed, rolling your eyes at him. Damn him, making you smile when you were supposed to be mad at him- you were still mad at him. But you were tired even more. Exhausted emotionally, physically- you just wanted to crawl into bed.

Carmen pulled you closer to him, his hand running down your spine. "Maybe you can do that cutesy shit to tell everyone else." He suggested. "I mean... Fuck, well, I-I told Richie and-and Sugar, but... Tina? Or all them?"

You bit back a smile, the curl of your lips betraying you. "Yeah." You hum, your body betraying you as you sunk into Carmen's chest.

"Here," Carmen muttered, pulling you close to him. "I'll get you in bed, and I'll go on the couch-"

"-No," You sighed, shuffled steps down the hall. "I don't... Just sleep in the bed with me."

Carmen hesitated. "No, I-I can stay on the couch. I know you don't-"

"-I can't sleep without you, Carm." You pleaded. "I didn't sleep at all last night, and-and... I just want to sleep."

Carmen nodded, following you into the shared bedroom. Stripping out of his jeans, trading them for sweatpants, before climbing in the bed with you. You stayed on your side, Carmen on his own. There was still tension, still lingering feelings of that familiar eeriness, but there was also comfortability.

Carmen would make it up to you. He'd be at every appointment, paint the nursery- be everything you knew he would be. Later. In the coming weeks as you two welcomed, embraced the baby coming. You'd get to tell everyone in your cutesy way like you'd dreamed. Tina's reaction would make you cry, and the baby shower would make you sob. You'd mull over baby names for hours with Carmen, going back and forth, testing each name tentatively until you found the perfect one.

For now, you were happy just to know Carmen was here with you. You were happy just to sleep. There was still so much ahead of you- of both of you.

[blitzwhore]

Stolitz, and their fear of rejection and sense of worthlessness turning into a self-fulfilled prophecy.

Blitz—

Does anybody love you, Blitzo? / No.

Eventually everyone goes...

Stolas only cares about having a rugged peasant raw-dog him into his mattress. It's nothing... You know. It's nothing else.

I'm going to die alone, aren't I? Just a wrinkly, old, withered waste.

Royal demons don't give a shit about guys like us. They're all the fucking same.

Stolas, don't act like what we have is anything but you wanting me to fuck you. You make that really clear all the time.

But you don't want to do things alone, Blitzo.

I mean, Stolas is just a loud, thirsty bitch who loves feeling the thrill of being dicked by the lower class. It's a novelty to him.

And then he'll call me and try to see how my day was, and he'll pretend to care about me, and comment on my photos, and laugh at my jokes... /Oh well that's definitely your clue right there that it's all bullshit / I know, right?!

It's all my fault. I'd hate me too. I mean, I do hate—

You're going to die alone. You're gonna die alone, Blitzo.

[My worst fear has come true. He couldn't possibly want me. This has to be a joke. He's selfish and an asshole, just like the rest of them. He's trying to get rid of me; that's the only explanation. I'm just a broken toy he's finally gotten bored of, just like I knew would happen. He won't even fight for me, and why would he? I could never be good enough for him. It's happening again. I'm being abandoned by someone I care about. I really am going to die alone.]

Stolas—

Would he want me if he was free? And if he's only here as a prisoner, what kind of monster does that make me?

I mite b bsuy / I wouldn't want to bother you!

You see... I seem to have found myself with, um. Feelings for him. And I'm not sure if it's a mutual thing.

Dearest, I know better now, I must give you this choice.

I'll save us both before we grow cold.

What's between you and I? Just a comfortable lie.

I'm sorry it's a bad time yet again, Blitzy...

He deserves the choice to stay or go.

So I'll grant you this mercy, this bind on our souls needs to end...

Next time you come over, maybe we can talk about what happened at Ozzie's? / Y? / I'm sorry! Nevermind, it's not a big deal.

What's left for me and my broken heart if I cannot have you? Unless it's me, and no matter what in this world I could give, it's not enough to get through the walls you've conjured up to live...

I'll believe him, and not the voice that says I'm not enough.

I'll fucking die alone if this goes bad!

[My worst fear has come true. I truly am not worthy of being loved. He's rejecting me— no, mocking me for even thinking he could ever want to be with me if he didn't need my book. I've been taking advantage of him all this time, all the while believing we had something real and being naive enough to think he could love me back. I am a monster. And now that he can, he has chosen to leave me. So now the least I can do is quietly let him—the only person I have ever wanted and felt alive with—go. I really am going to die alone.]

[theanimeoftheblackbunnymask]

Yandere Sabo Alphabet

Author's Note: I've deadass been off the rig for like, half a year. I'm lowkey sorry, at some point I forgot about this blog. My creepypasta blog kind of became my main and I wasn't watching anime fr, but I got back into One Piece and Sabo has stolen my heart-

Warnings: Emotional Abuse, Mental Abuse, Manipulation, Physical Assault, Guilt Tripping, Rape Mentioned, S/A implied, Deception, Mind Games, Sadism Mentioned, Burning, Injuries, Death, Two Faced Behavior, Jealousy, Amnesia Mentioned, and Being Held Captive.

Links: {Masterlist} {Alphabet Used}

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

He is very cuddly, I can say that the ASL brothers in general are very touchy people (especially Luffy.)

Since Sabo is often on missions, he doesn't get to see you as much as he'd like to, so when he does see you, he's hugging and kissing you at any chance he can get.

He also loves seeing you in his hat, it's the cutest thing to him.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

The thing is, Sabo is willing to kill for his darling, but I wouldn't say it's messy. I can definitely see Sabo killing a few people while on missions, so I'd say he's pretty clean with it.

Sabo isn't cruel, so he wouldn't kill them infront of you, but he'll definitely make you know that they're dead, and that it was by his hands.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Sabo is scary. He's charming, kind, and chivalrous to the max. He's pretty much every girls dream guy, and when you met him you probably fell for him hard.

Sabo is deranged and unhinged however, but he can hide it extremely well. Once you two started dating and you already went with him to the revolutionary army, that's when his strange behavior starts to slowly surface.

He'd never hit you on purpose, but sometimes his sadism get in the way. He never makes you aware of his true intentions, sometimes he's completely in love with you and your own little golden retriever, doing everything you say with no question, but sometimes when you two fight, he becomes a completely different person. I can see him sharing Ace's temper (despite him being the calmest and nicest brother)

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

He is so manipulative its not even funny. Sabo loved playing mind games with you, he often tells you that you knew that he was like this, but you went with him anyway, so technically it's your fault your in this situation, which couldn't be further from the truth.

Sometimes he hates seeing you cry, but when you cry wuth rage in your eyes, yelling at him about how much he fucks with your head and how you can't even remember what really happened and instead you remember the false memories he told placed in your head, he can't help but chuckle.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

I don’t see Sabo being vulnerable with you at first. Most of the time he's vulnerable, it's often with Koala because he trustes that woman with his life, and they're pretty much best friends.

But I'd say the first time you saw him vulnerable was when Ace died. He had so many break downs in front of you and all you could do was try and comfort him the best way you could. Times like those really fuck with your head because Sabo is kind of holding you against your will, mentally and emotionally abusing you, and kind of an manipulative asshole, but the times he's genuinely a sweet guy who just wants to make you happy just pop into your mind and you can't help but hug him and tell him it'll be ok and that it wasn't his fault.

Sabo genuinely wants you to be happy, just his method of doing so is fucked up.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

It only adds fuel to the fire. Sabo is pretty patient for the most part and often wants your arguments to be as quick as possible. But, if you keep arguing and yelling at him, his patience runs thin, and that's when you see his Ace like temper.

You two could go at for hours, and he'll eventually just erupt into Flames (literally) and end up hurting you. He'd end up feeling terrible because Sabo never wants to hurt you (Physically of course), so he'd just stare at his arm, surrounded in Flames, before looking at your curled up position in the corner of the room, holding your arm as you cried in pain.

So yeah, try not to fight with him.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

If you escape, he's panicked. Losing Ace really fucked him up, so you leaving him is his biggest nightmare. If the world government knows about your existence, either as his S/O, or you were part of the revolutionary army before hand, or you were a pirate or something, that only makes his paranoia worse because you most likely have a bounty on your head.

He'd look for you everywhere, that man wouldn't sleep until he found you.

I feel like Sabo has developed a fear of forgetting, so he probably writes down everything that happens to him or other people in a diary of some sorts. So he'd write about each day he looked for you, doing anything he could if there was a rare chance that he would forget you.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

The two of you got into a really bad fight. Like, the worst one you two had ever had.

You were sick and tired of Sabo's lies, his manipulative behavior, and just all the bullshit he pulled on you. At first he was dismissing you, telling you that you were making a big deal out of such a small issue, but you kept pressing him and telling him to stop down playing his actions.

Eventually he started arguing back and things got even more heated, and when he got too close, you punched him right in the face. When you realize what you did, you slowly started to back up as Sabo placed his hand on his face in shock. You've never hit him before, ever.

He started at you in silence before slowly making his way towards you.

"I-I’m sorry, I didn't mean to..." You say over as over again as you backed yourself into a corner, your hmeyes tearing up as he got closer.

He'd grab both you wrist in one hand, causing you to yelp in pain as you cried further. He only started at you with cold eyes.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry... please..." You mumbled, you legs almost giving out as you shoot.

He'd then grab your chin roughly, ans then kiss you. But it wasn't a rough kiss, but a gentle and genuine one. It wasn't like the ones he'd give after not seeing you for weeks on end, but it was different, it was kind. It caught you off guard, why was he so gentle?

But eventually you leaned into it, closing your eyes in the process. He eventually loosened his grip on your wrist, but you didn't feel his hand slowly make it's way to your neck.

"I'm sorry, love..."

Then, his grip tightened as you felt burning sensation on your neck. Before you could scream, Sabo smashed his lips against yours, grabbing the back of your head so you couldn't break away.

Your legs gave out in that moment, and Sabo went down with you. You were practically screaming into his lips, it hurt so fucking bad. So, he shoved his tongue in your mouth as a way to muffle your screams. His hands weren't on fire, but he heated them up so they would burn your neck.

When he pulled his lips back, a long trail of saliva connecting your lips, he quickly covered your mouth as he stared to your pained face.

"I'm sorry," He'd say, wiping the spit away before kissing your tears as you slowly passed out from the pain.

When you wake up in the morning, you don't remember a thing. But when you touch your neck and feel bandages, memories start to flood back to you as you cry into the pillow. Sabo was sent on a mission the same day you woke up, so he was long gone before you woke up. But, he felt fucking awful for what he did.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

World government taken down, his book published, and you two living happily together.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Sabo gets jealous a lot easier than he would like to admit.

When he's jealous, he gets a lot more touchy and often makes back handed remarks about said person.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

When Sabo isn't manipulating you or the two of you a arguing, he's a fucking golden retriever boyfriend. Follows you around, is at your beck and call and will do pretty much anything you want, crazy affectionate, and loves to tease you. If it wasn't for his manipulative and abusive behavior, he pretty much acts like a normal boyfriend.

This also plays a key part on why Sabo is so good at manipulating you. The way he treats you the majority of the time, this kind loving boyfriend, makes you fucking think you're crazy. Like, didn't he guilt trip you into sleeping with him last night? But hey, he gave you the best aftercare of you life, and he got you that jacket you kept looking at when the two of you went shopping. So it wasn't that bad, right?

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

Sabo would pretty much go up to you and just start being his charming self. Sabo is extremelylikeable, and he'll get you to blush and laugh a few times. Eventually, he'll start sending love letter to you if you're a pirate or a normal citizen, but even if your part of the revolutionary army, he'll still send you little love letters.

He'll get you gifts and even offer to pay for your drinks if you two ever went out for a drink.

I'm telling you, if you're his darling, you fell in love with him before he started to abuse you.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

When he's upset, yes. Sabo can be pretty unhinged when fighting, but that's about it. When the two of you are just living normally, no fighting or anything, he goes back to the Sabo you fell in love with.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Sabo doesn't actively punish his darling. He actually let's you get away with escaping. But, he does get physical when you piss him off, so that's your punishment.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

You can do everything besides escaping, and telling anyone about his abusive behavior. He'd be so fucking pissed if he found out that you told someone.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Very patient. He had to deal with Luffy and Ace growing up. Luffy's energetic, dumb behavior, and Ace's short tempered, rude behavior made him gain a lot of patience, even if he forgot them for many years.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

If you die, its like Ace all over again. He's blaming himself, even if it wasn't his fault.

If you leave and or, escape, he's looking for you. He's not resting until he does.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

He didn't technically abduct you. If you weren't part of the revolutionary army and a civilian, you moved in with him, and when you tried to leave, that's when you realized you were pretty much a hostage.

If you're a pirate, that's when things get complex because if you're not a captain, that's something he'll have to deal with, but if you are a captain, I can't see you just leaving your crew for your boyfriend. So he'll figure something out.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

I feel like a mixture of trauma and the death of Ace.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

If you scream/cry, he'll try to comfort you the best he can. He wants to see that smile he loves so much.

If you isolate yourself after he was on a mission for weeks on end, he'll be pretty upset. He'll keep asking you what's wrong, and he won't stop bothering you until you tell him.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

He's a controlling, manipulative yandere, but the amount of freedom and how you can pretty much get him to do whatever you want is kind of crazy. But he isn't stupid or blind, he'll know when you're taking advantage of him immediately, and that's when he shuts things down.

He's revolutionary afterall, he enjoys freedom, and even though he can't give you 100% freedom, or at least just yet, he'll give you the most he can, but not too much to where you'll leave him.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

His overprotectiveness. He's not only overprotective you, but his friends as well, especially Luffy.

It'd be hard to manipulate this, but if you play your cards right, you might be able to get him wrapped around your finger.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Yes, but not purposefully.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

He kind of worships you, but also kind of doesn't. It's complicated. But he's willing to go hell and back to keep you safe.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

As long as it takes. Sabo is willing to wait a long time for you to love him blindly once again, even if it takes years.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Yes. It wouldn't be on purpose. It could be a punishment taken too far, or just the mental abuse.

[reareaotaku]

You're an Idiot

Summary: Eddie realizes he's inlove with an idiot Pairings: Eddie Kaspbrak x Reader Tw: Slight Angst, Slight Jealousy

He doesn't know when he came to the conclusion that you were an idiot, but it must have been all the little things adding up. The first incident was a few months ago.

----

The group was at a party, buying stuff to celebrate New Years. You, Eddie, and Richie were looking at party hats and noisemakers. The last thing the party needed was noisemakers, which is what Eddie and Richie were arguing about.

"I don't want to have my fucking eardrums blown out by those stupid things," Eddie says, taking the noise makers out of your hands.

"Oh, you're such a wet fucking blanket, Eddie," Richie rolls his eyes, snatching the noisemakers back and giving them to you.

"You guys New Years Revolution should be to stop arguing with each other," You offhandly remark, causing them both to stop and stare at you.

"Revolution? Do you mean RESolution?" Richie mocks you, causing you to blush. "God, that's so funny. You're such a stupid bitch."

"Leave her alone, you asshole."

"Aww, does this princess need her knight in shinning armor to save her?" He makes a clicking noise as he taunts you both.

Eddie grabs your hand, dragging you off, leaving Richie there to make a fool of himself.

---

Eddie hadn't thought about it much, but then another incident happened less than a week later.

You had been holding a can of Tuna by Chicken of the Sea and you turned to him and said-

"Is this chicken or fish? I know it says Tuna, but it says..... it says Chicken of the Sea?"

In that moment he had questioned every life decision he made. He thought maybe he had misheard you, so he asked you to repeat yourself. Though, you just repeated yourself, making him lightly sigh.

The final straw, when he really had to accept you were the stupidest person on earth.

He was at your house, just the two of you and you wanted a burrito. You put it in the microwave and he watched when you took it out, threw it away and grabbed another burrito.

"Why did you throw it away?"

"It wouldn't heat up."

You had said it like HE was being stupid. His jaw was nearly on the floor. When he finally gathers himself, he decides to question what the hell that meant.

"What do you mean?"

"It was still cold."

"Why didn't you heat it longer?"

"I heated it for the time on the package and it was still cold."

You were so simpleminded and he was actually impressed. He respected you, but not in the way as one respects someone. He just respected you lived this long being so stupid. He couldn't go another day without saying something.

"You're so dumb."

You turned towards him, confused, "What?"

"I love you, like a lot. But, god you are so stupid."

"That is so rude." You were looking at him wide-eyed, as he covered his mouth, trying not to laugh.

"You're so dumb, though. Like don't get me wrong, I DO love you, but come on."

You frowned and didn't speak to him for a solid week.

Fast foward to now, you were sitting across for each other at a cafe. Neither of you were talking, but he was looking at you, wanting to talk to you.

"So..."

You looked up at him, glaring. He could sense your anger and he leaned in, reaching for your hands.

"You know I love you-"

"Oh really? I thought I was an idiot."

"You are-" When he saw your glare sharpen his eyes widened and he coughed into his hand. "I mean.... Sometimes, your light isn't as bright as it could be."

"You're just calling me stupid in a metaphorical way."

"That's not true." He tried to justify, and your head dipped, your face going blank.

"Oh, don't patronize me."

There's a moment of silence as he watches you, trying to think of what he's supposed to say. Finally, he speaks-

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine. Richie's called me worse."

"Well, you and Richie aren't dating and he's just an asshole."

"Thank god," You joke, lightening the mood, "Imagine if we were though." You close your eyes, thinking about it. Though, with your eyes closed, you couldn't see Eddie's glare.

"You like Richie?" He accused, causing you to quickly open your eyes.

"What? No- God, no." You repeatedly shake your head, "I'm just saying, imagine. God, that'd be terrible," You laugh and Eddie finally lightens up.

"Nightmare fuel," He jokes, "I'm sure I'd be mad if you were dating."

"Oh yeah?" You lean on your hand, smirking. "Why would you be mad?"

His eyes follow you, a light smile growing on his face, "I'd be jealous, because that idiot would be dating the most incredible, amazing, pretty-"

"Oh, flattery? You're really trying to win brownie points."

"Is it working?"

"Well, it sure isn't hurting you."

"Then I won't stop."

[randomnameless]

Reverse uno card : Jugdral edition

2014 : "yay, i can't wait for a Judgral remake, with updated graphics!!!"

2024 : "gods please no remake"

What happened in ten years to make me dread the remake I would have sold my soul for back in the days?

Well... IS's policies and new writing, mainly.

While I was joking about "Genealogy of the Holy Self Insert" in 2015, I still had faith in eventual Jugdral remakes. Sure, we were in the big Fateswakening era where the only things I could frown at IS were the "writings" worshipping self inserts (Ryoma being jealous of Corn's talents, when Corn was like, 5?) - but I still had hope for a more "serious" FE, and I first I was very delighted by FE15 - no self insert, a more "serious" setting, no hyperbolic time chambers to try to explain in watsonian words why second gens exist, etc...

But there was still something ringing dead wrong with FE15, which I only noticed thanks to FE16 and its years of discourse - at one point, IS's writing went in a certain direction that makes it impossible, imo, for us to have a "correct" Jugdral remake, as long as IS still follows this direction.

I'm not talking about uwufest - even if it is part of the larger problem - but back in FE15, I remember being really pissed at the schizophrenia of the plot : saying one thing and the inverse at the same time.

The narration reminds us of the classic Kaga lesson : whatever madness exists in dragon/gods, a greater madness/evil lurks in the heart of men.

And yet, we have the Hero (who was so cajoled by the plot that, at times, you have to wonder if Alm wasn't the devs's self insert, he's lavished with praises almost as extensively as Ike was!) saying nonsense - without being contradicted by characters at all (or when Celica does it, she admits later she's wrong) - like Duma being responsible, mainly, for the events that transpired in Valentia and, novelty that wouldn't have been in the original game since the character was made for the remake, Berkut's fall and madness.

By that point in the game, the player saw that Berkut hunts low class people for what he sees and perceives as sport, is the textbook classicist asshat noble, but has a lot of pression on his shoulders due to his role of being the heir of the Empire, pression that isn't alleviated at all by his Uncle who mocks him and refuses to give him a third chance... to fight against a person said uncle very well knows cannot be defeated by Berkut himself, especially as said Uncle pretended to "care" for him, only to pit him against his trueborn son whom he names his heir just before dying.

Point is : Berkut feels betrayed by Rudy and goes mad - because of this betrayal : Rudolph named him heir when he fully knew Alm was alive and was the true heir he always wanted, in Berkut's eyes, no matter what he did, it wouldn't have mattered to Rudolph since Rudolph planned on giving Alm his throne since day 1 - of course, without telling him a thing and making him believe he would one day become Emperor.

Is it Duma's fault that Berkut went off the deep-end in Part 4? Because Rudolph's shit gambit involved playing with the life of his nephew and crush it in a bid to have Alm unify the continent against Duma ? Or... it's just Rudolph being an asshole, not curbing the worst of his nephew tendencies (and in a larger part, of Rigel in general) ?

Now, Rinea. She too, is called one of Duma's victims, and yet, who pushed her in Duma's magic pyre that turns women in witches? Duma himself?

No.

Berkut, who already, when pissed tells her "silence woman" pushes his fiancée and love of his life in a pyre to sacrifice her, because in his grief and rage (caused by Rudy!!!) Rinea is only a pawn to be sacrificed to gain more power to kill Alm. Sure sure, Berkut is redeemed in death and Rinea - in a classic Kaga style writing that wasn't here made by Kaga since this plot is basically new so where the fuck does this sexism come from - forgives him and they both die and ascend to another plane of existence.

The point is, despite what Alm says, Berkut and Rinea's fates weren't caused by Duma's degeneration - but by Rudolph and Berkut's own actions.

Heck, I remember when I was sort of live-blogging my run back then, Desaix's greed and lust for power wasn't fueled by Mila's apathy : it wasn't Mila who burnt Celica's house and tried to cook Conrad, it was Desaix, and why Desaix did it? Because he wanted to become king. That's it, and that's all.

So why FE15 - while giving the Kaga message - still tries its hardest to pin the blame of everything "wrong that happened" on... dragon gods, refusing to acknowledge the own responsibilities of humans in their suffering?

I think we had that lunar dialogue at the end of FE15 (or in part 4?) where Clive (i think?) tells Alm without gods giving their blessings, people in Valentia will starve, and Alm saying that may be so, but ultimately Valentia will survive and work hard through those upcoming harsh times to demonstrate how humans, when they work together, can achieve things without needing to rely on Gods - basically, King Alm tells his people to starve now because Humanity will come out stronger afterwards, since they will have learnt to grow their own food without needing magic dragon blessings to make the ground fertile.

... yeah. That's definitely going to work.

FE15 took the Kaga lesson to try to hammer some "humanity fuck yeah!" Square JRPG message and it completely messed up what FE2 tried to say.

(I confess, retconning Duma'n'Mila in dragon gods like Naga from Archanea was a big part in this shitstorm - that was also retconned to explain Grima from FE13! - i mean Duma'n'Mila have to die because they're degenerating, but they didn't get the memo from Gotoh living overseas that degeneration can be stopped by using dragonstones, instead of being a fatality that must be dealt with death...)

Humans cannot be held responsible for what they did, everything BaD that happened is somehow due to the influence of dragon-gods : even if it means "suffering" and sacrificing a part of your population, this choice is a good one to get rid of the obviously nefarious influence of dragon-gods.

So, is it so surprising that FE16 - the most popular title in the franchise uwu - went in the same direction?

Even if it tried to mitigate the "gods BaD" spiel because the avatar - Billy - is the Goddess reborn, the thing is the CoS - aka the dragon - is blamed for humanity's mistakes through each route (AM dodges the question completely) and all routes end up with the dragon going away (her skull being cracked open, or she retires, or she dies off-screen, or she dies because the plot commands so unless you want, as the player, to shag her).

"But in VW, Claude reconsiders his initial stance!"

And yet, it is only off-screen that he seemingly becomes aware that Fodlan people are not superpals with Almyra because Almyra raids them, not because Rhea told them Almyrans are BaD, that's why he tries to negotiate - off-screen and post-game - some sort of ceasefire between the two parties, or at least make it so Almyra doesn't try to raid Fodlan every Thursday for their weekly dick measuring contest.

No matter the ending, Rhea retires and in the worst support, muses on her failings for "having turned a blind eye" to Fodlan and its people in her quest to resurrect Sothis : aka, Rhea (and the game, since Billy doesn't tell her anything) believes Fodlan's state is due to her inaction and not, you know, the action of the humans who lived in the continent and ruined it of their own volition.

Which is also what fuels the endless discourse about what kind of power she has - or not : Rhea BaD for using her power, but also BaD for not using it and letting humans to their own devices.

Supreme Leader's memetastic line from the trailers ring even more true : in Fodlan, Crusts are to blame for everything. For Adrestian being attracted to young women because otherwise without crests they surely wouldn't seek to bed a 12 years old Doro, for Miklan trying to murder his younger brother (and not because, at least FE16 wise, Miklan is a terrible person who is very jealous and not afraid to kill even a child to get what he feels like he deserves), and for people basically killing their wives/letting their daughters die to get a "suitable" heir.

Humanity/Humans can get a pass for doing horrible things (Berkut burning his fiancée alive) because those horrible things can sort of be linked to "dragon-gods", and so, the blame exclusively lays at their feet.

I am always reminded of that Obi-Wan reply to Anakin when Ani accuses him of having turned Padmé "against" him, Obi-Wan basically tells him he brought this upon himself.

Now, what would Obi-Wan tell a non-recruited Doro who blames the Goddess for the War, the leader she is actually protecting, started?

Billy is no Obi-Wan, so we are left in this limbo where characters are telling you everything wrong that happens in Fodlan is due to "dragon blood" aka their existence and presence, even dragons who blame themselves for "being blind" - but not once do we have the Kaga message, or an Obi-Wan reminding people that they have to take responsability for their own actions : Hanneman will blame crests (dragons) for having killed his sister, but not the man who forced her (marital abuse?) to bear him many heirs until one was "good enough" for him.

Claude blames dragons for creating, both literal and metaphorical walls between Fodlan and Almyra - and it's only in his best ending, after the game credits and off-screen that he seems to realise that those walls were built by Almyrans raiders.

"enough about the fodlan rant, what about jugdral?"

Jugdral was sort of unique for not having a giant eldritch abomination as a boss, unlike the later FE8, we never fight Loptyr in his "original" form, Loptyr is fought through his host, Julius.

And I love Jugdral because unlike Fodlan, the local evil death cult might stage a few skirmishes and manipulations here and there, but Jugdral people are... asses, in general.

Elliot will mount an army to seduce Raquie while Eldie is away - and it's not because Manfroy told him to seduce her, no, Elliot does it from his own will.

Reptor'n'Langobalt'n'Andrei rebel against Kurth and Azmur? Sure, Arvis is pulling some of their strings, but Reptor'n'Langobalt are ambitious, even without Manfroy whispering anything.

Arvis pulls out his gambit... with Manfroy's help (and blackmail?), but also because he genuinely thinks he can sacrifice lives to make HIS world a reality because HE has great ideas about how the world should be and will torch anyone who opposes him.

F!Lewyn, as much as I dislike the character, reminds the cast that while Travant's actions might seem justified to him and to the Thracian people, he is still a man who assaulted a bunch of randoms + non-combattants in a desert, amushed them and slaughtered them : no matter his reasons and how justified he was, Travant is still a criminal to Jugdral people.

In Jugdral, people do things and have to take responsability for it - Oldvis basically dies after losing everything he had - by Seliph's hand (and with his own participation!!) because Oldvis has to take responsability for what he did in Barhara. Ditto for Travant, who accepts to die if it means the peninsula will be united (tfw his son doesn't understand what he meant !).

Dragon blood and Dragon people are never blamed for the shitty state Jugdral is in in the 1st or even 2nd gen, if Danan turned Isaach in giant brothel, it's not Julius-Loptyr who asked him to do so, nor Manfroy.

At least, that was the case for the pre FE15/FEH/FE16 Jugdral.

Now...

While I want to blame FE16 for this shift, I know the roots are more ancient (FE15?), IS's writing seems to favour a certain narrative, aka people having sad and or complicated fates because of their brands and Holy Blood - when the ONLY case of having a fate tied to Holy Blood was the Curse of the Gae Bolg, aka a sibling quarrel between Dain and Noba that will eventually "curse" Noba descendants, but through the events of the game we know that curse is more like a prophecy : Quan doesn't die because he had Noba Holy Blood, Quan dies because Travant kills him in Yied. Why Travant kills him? FE5 reveals Quan and his forefathers are basically letting Thracians starve and refuse to "give" them arable lands, or even export food.

Now, did Travant kill Quan because Quan had major Noba Holy Blood, or because Quan (and his forefather)'s policies made Thracians so desperate that their king feels like he has to resort to murder to "save" his people?

The issue is more complicated than "he has Noba HB so I had to kill him".

Come FEH and we had, in 2018 (before FE16 but after FE15) this :

My blood has granted me gifts, it's true. I have expended every effort to be worthy of those gifts. That same blood makes it impossible for me to live a peaceful life. That's a lesson I learned from my mother...

Now, even if I was dissecting and hc'ing and posting about Saias a lot for 5 years, I fully understand Saias is a character with maybe 20 lines in FE5, so you can only dissect the script and theorise and read between invisible lines to get something about the character.

But this?

It might be a reference to Cowen's last words who basically tells him his job is to "pass on" his Fjalar HB, and how having major Fjalar HB was the reason why Manfroy tried to kill him when he was younger (his mother Aida died to protect him).

And yet, FEH here seems to imply Aida died because Saias had Fjalar HB, and not, y'know, died because Manfroy wanted to kill him due to this HB.

It wasn't HB who killed Aida, but Manfroy!

FE5 never reveals why - but if Fjalar HB was the reason why Manfroy targeted Saias, then why the fuck wasn't Oldvis iced earlier, since he has the same brand and blood?

In a way, Saias blaming HB here as the "reason" why his mother died and why he cannot live a "peaceful life" is similar to a Leif who would blame Quan'n'Ethlyn for being the reason why Travant and the Empire were after his life : what is to blame, their "blood" that makes people want to kill them, or the fuckers who want to kill them?

Granted those lines from FEH completely miss the point of Saias as a character - FE5!wise Saias is in a class that cannot use fire magic, when his HB automatically gives him the highest rank in fire magic, and he is funnily enough the only character who "retreats" in his death quote -> Saias doesn't "expend" every effort to be worthy of HB, he hides and doesn't use the abilities given by said HB!

We can say, mkay, this was just FEH trying to fit their "gods and their influence BaD" narrative and missing the real culprits, aka humans themselves (Manfroy is one!) - from FE15 - in Jugdral, even if it meant retconning a character no one cares about.

But then, last year, we had Galzus' FB :

You speak of the blood of the Sword Saint Od. Perhaps. Is that the reason you have been set on a path of violence and bloodshed?

Nyx says Galzus' "curse" isn't tied to his HB, but it's basically his regret at not having been able to save his daughter.

So far, it's completely the inverse of what I decried, so this was a good FB, right?

:)

There is no doubt that the blood within you compels you to lead a cruel life. However, the loss of your daughter was the wedge that split your life into pieces and let the curse in.

Damn it Nyx, why???

Why Galzus's brand "compels him" to lead a cruel life - when it was just established that Galzus fell to despair and became a mercenary who kills for money after the loss of his daughter?

Before losing Mareeta, Galzus, at least per this FB, wasn't killing people right and left as the merc he now is (or was in FE5).

Now, much like Saias...

Why was Galzus left to roam around Jugdral with a toddler to begin with?

I had a daughter. When my wife died, I brought my daughter with me as I traveled around Jugdral.

This FB establishes that Galzus settled with Mareeta's biomom for a while, but when she died he "traveled around". Why Galzus couldn't return "home" and had to "travel around"?

You know the Ribaut family was devastated by our own House Isaach.

Timeline wise : Ribaut is already demolished during the prologue of FE4, and Mareeta is no older than Leif himself, which means she was born after Galzus' grandfather and Ayra's brother, aka, his uncle, beheaded his dad and demolished his kingdom. Galzus, in exile, had Mareeta, and then had to "travel around" Jugdral because his home had already been demolished by "House Isaach" -

Note how Ayra talks about the Ribaut (i prefer rivough but meh) family when she talks about her very own sister - Galzus' mother. Jugdral family trees being what they are, Shanan, Larcei, Scatach and Galzus are actually cousins, Galzus is Ayra's own nephew, just like Shanan!

Anyways, in FE4, the reason given behind Ribaut's destruction is their attack on Darna, so the Isaachian royals killed them.

Galzus' "cruel life" wasn't compelled by his HB, Galzus' life took a turn for the worst when his Uncle and Grandpa knocked at his door and slaughtered his entire family, destroying their Kingdom.

So why FEH tried to fit his backstory in some sort of "dragon blood is to blame" Fodlan narrative?? They at least acknowledge the bad blood (lel) between Isaach's royal family and Ribaut's, hell, Ayra even wants to say Mareeta is a part of Isaach's royal family in her FB with her son, so it's not to whitewash the Isaachian royal family because their units are more popular and would sell more...

Contrary to Saias, Galzus's writing and his FB seem to have been made by people who cared and didn't completely ignore what the character was about so... why this emphasis on his HB ??

Are we bound in post FE16 releases to have, at least with the current writing team, the excuse of "dragon blood is to blame" ? Galzus cannot blame the Isaachian Royal Family or even the slavers for his (and his daugher's!) fate, but he can blame his HB, aka, a non-entity?

Will HB be now used as a "responsibility free" card, because the fate a character suffers or their actions are only tied to said HB? Arvis will get a pass because his HB compelled him to save the world (tfw Victor prefered to "seduce" women instead), Lewyn will be lightly chided by his mom instead of receiving the beatdown he has in FE4 because his HB now makes him unable to stay in place? Ditto for Ced, Karin won't chew him out for abandoning his mother and sister because his HB compelled him to travel around, so in the end, dragons are to blame for him abandoning his sister and mother?

That's what I'm the most afraid in future Jugdral remakes, that had humans characters with human flaws in a crapsack/shitty verse, the insertion in a future remake of a very Squenix "but aksuhally gods and church bad" when Jugdral is the pinnacle of "the world sucks because people living in this world suck". No need for secret sects manipulating everything in the shadows like FE16's Agarthans, Chagall is a horrible person without needing Manfroy's help, and Hilda will not say "Holy Blood is to blame" when she tortures Tailte to death.

When Tailte is caught and Hilda'd, it's because she participated (or even commited) in parricide, and because her camp/army lost the battle. She doesn't die because of her HB, she dies because Hilda kills her, most likely, for having killed Reptor (Hilda wants to avenge her "father" when fought, i'm pretty sure she means her father in law aka Reptor!).

As befits a game called "Genealogy of the Holy War", people aren't targeted because of their HB, but they are targeted because they are part of a genealogy - see the Leif comparison earlier on : Leif is hunted because he is Quan's son, even if he doesn't have Noba major blood. Seliph is hunted because he is Siggy'n'Deedee's son, not because of his Baldo HB.

In FE4, Manfroy tells Julius Arvis was a thorn at their side because "Fjalar's ways" ran too strong in him - implying he had some moral fiber that would make him oppose the return of Loptyr (but those same "ways" didn't prevent him from torching his own brother and conquering the world...) - I will have to check the translation and og script, but was Saias targeted because he had Fjalar HB, or because he could develop the same moral fiber Arvis does in his later years, or just, because he is Arvis's son? Cowen seems to suggest it is FB, but we know Fjalar HB cannot harm Loptyr so... what was the true reason?

Blaming dragon-gods reduces the complexity of Jugdral's setting and characters - and in a post FEH world where tropes win character contests and sell a lot of alts if they are flanderised enough + a post FE15/16 world where characters, to be likeable enough, have to ditch their responsibilities or at least have the plot elude them to pin them instead on vague and non-important (gacha wise) gods, what is going to happen to Jugdral?

Fanfics are fanfics and people are free to write whatever they want - but I wonder (especially after Nopes and the plethora of 'golden endings' fics that ended up with the CoS as the big bad lol) if fics where Mareeta and Ced blaming their HB for their various hardships is going to become the new canon...

I seriously hope it will never, and it if happens then...

I guess I'll still yell at cloud and nerd about the 1990s versions of those games, completely ignoring the new releases (save for maybe updated artwork).

Tl;Dr : FEH makes me afraid Judgral remakes will borrow the "humanity fuck yeah" page from FE15 and FE16 and put the blame of Jugdral's shitty situation from Jugdralians to... Holy Blood and "dragon-gods", completely missing and rewritting the point of those games. IS already said "fig" to Kaga once or thrice, but this might become the most contentious "fig" they ever give him if they decided to write a Jugdral remake this way.

[sureuncertainty]

okay so like how do you set boundaries with an internet friend that you don't wanna be friends with anymore? this is no one here, this is someone i know via instagram and I kinda just realized is actually a dick to me? all the time? and i don't wanna talk to them anymore much less have them edit my book (which they offered to do and I stupidly already said yes)

I don't wanna block them without saying anything, i literally have trauma around being blocked for no reason BUT like is that worse than like? just ghosting them forever? cause that's what I've been kinda doing already

this person CLAIMS to like my book but they've also given me stupid super nit-picky and mean spirited criticisms on it that make no sense that are literally like suspension of disbelief things (also they tried to say that it was "unrealistic" for Cain to not be arrested for tax fraud, which like. buddy you're european and you have no fucking idea what CEO billionaires in the US are fucking capable of getting away with apparently lol)

These criticisms were basically unprompted btw. they were like oh can i make some comments and I said yeah sure thinking it'd be something small and then they proceeded to tell me that my entire story makes no sense and kinda mock it and make fun of it and make me feel dumb

so they made me really insecure about my writing and also literally none of my headmates like them and we get that we can't stop them from reading our book when it's published BUT we just don't want to talk to them about it or have them read it for free

i asked a friend about it and they think they're jealous of me and that's why they say they like my book but are also picking it apart and idk if that's true but I don't think they're like... PURPOSEFULLY being an asshole they just are. i literally dread every message I get from them. OH also they called one of my headmates an ableist slur which like okay fine, it's a common slur that people throw around but it was still hmmmm not great (we are not out as a system on instagram btw)

they send me videos that are completely irrelevant to my interests, they've been BUGGING me about when i'll send them the chapters of silence agenda I told them they could edit (which now will not be happening lol). also our very first conversation was them trying to tell me that studying titanic history doesn't matter WHEN I WAS LITERALLY GRIEVING AFTER THE SUBMERSIBLE DISASTER LAST SUMMER AND VENTING MY FRUSTRATIONS ABOUT IT. and i did snap at them that time and we worked it out and both apologized for making assumptions which was fine but still. like i almost blocked them the moment they sent me that message and now i really really really wish I had bc I feel like i'm in too deep

we also have several mutuals in common and i would worry that if I blocked them on everything, they'd ask one of our common mutuals about it (or a mutual would share my art or something) and they'd realize that I have them blocked, and then i'd have to like. explain myself. and i don't feel comfortable telling those mutuals about it bc i DO NOT want to be that person that's like 'hey jsyk you're following this person who is Problematique' bc i DESPISE when people do that

anyway yeah i just don't know how to handle it and any advice would be appreciated. idk how i've been putting up with this person's bullshit for so long like dear lord i kinda felt like i yanked the wool off my eyes today and realized how fucking awful they are to me

[rametarin]

Yes, please continue going completely mask off.

Been observing the usual "I'm the smartest person in the room" type leftists at work, again. These are the ones that've been handed books on theory and further literature, and think they're hot shit for it.

After every carefully planned out thing they hope goes off and leads to bigger things, that just winds up blowing up in their face and jeopardizing their objectives or setting them back, they have tantrums, let their worse selves get the better of them, and go on tirades to let their real selves out for a bit.

Usually this means not passive aggressively trying to get someone to read between the lines of things they believe, without spelling them out, and instead just out and out saying shit that'd be incriminating if it was recorded. So they may indirectly indicate that "diversity is a good thing," and then add, "immigrants improve America," but certain people when pressed will go mask off and declare the desire for the death (and yes, even replacement BY NAME) of white people.

Sometimes it manifests as some manbun wearing dude riding a segway, drinking a soy latte and snidely mocking a black cop, "jokingly" calling them house-slurs and acting like a smug asshole.

Sometimes it manifests as the TERF randomly shoving a man they don't know and going off on them as a totem representing all men.

However it manifests, it isn't pretty. But it's their true selves. That part of them that they have inside of them, but usually keep an indoor voice while mocking you in their mind with it. When stressed? It comes out, and you see how they REALLY feel.

They really believe that they can turn a knob and make the liberals just, disappear out from under the floor of the democratic party and inherit the platform. To neutralize and silence them, force them to comply. The problem is that, no, they can't.

The far-leftists are not, nor were they ever, liberal. They co-opted liberals and the democratic party and tried to top from the bottom as the minority in the party, but the ones that get to set policy, principle and lay the rules. And when the liberals do liberal things, circumventing the polylogues, suddenly it's "FUCKING LIBERALS!" this and that, from people that most decidedly are not conservative.

And sometimes I remind myself how they argue, by watching them. Because how they operate is so cold blooded and insidious. The kind of insidious of a sociopath that thinks because they can mask their intentions as normal people things, they can manipulate and deceive you, and that makes them smarter than you. That this betrayal of human trust makes them your intellectual superior.

That is an absolutely abhorrent way to think, and if a healthy human mind is not suspecting it, just by acting, they can really distract, deceive and hurt you. If they perceive you as a potential enemy, they are not beyond lying to you, deliberately sowing mistruths, half-truths, outright lies, or trying to educate you in ways that only reinforce their beliefs and feelings, or just their principles. And all soothing their own conscience by saying, "it's for the greater good," while dressing up subjective feelings as if they're objective, empirical conclusions.

Exploitation of trust and human contact is just kind of how these fucking demons (I don't mean literal, abrahamic demons) operate. Bad faith arguments, trying to incite your ego by insulting you while you're discussing things with them to keep your mind hopping from analytical to emotional and shock your system, to make you lash back out at them or throw off your thinking process.

And often operating with at least one other person there to play impromptu bad cop for them, so your attention is forked. Performing hostility, to get you to perceive them as a potential source of violence and expend energy and attention on them. Just, the most petty, pseudo-intellectualist assholes that operate covertly.

Whenvever something like this happens (Trump's election), the thin veneer of composure breaks and they just expose themselves. But the people watching seldom understand the breakdown they're experiencing. It's genuinely hard to imagine anyone but an immediate threat behaves this way, because thinking this way has absolutely horrifying implications. You cannot drop your guard around people like this, but tipping them off you understand what they're about will also alter their behavior.

And the manipulative probing. One thing these people love more than anything is to exploit your lack of information on something to try and "set the record straight" according to their interpretation of reality, which is usually a complete mental gymnastic flip of athing, and then berating and snottily condescending to you as an intellectual inferior if you disagree and won't prove their assertions wrong, as to why. Performing and letting you know, with that smug expression and mannerisms that they will treat you as an intellectual inferior from then on.

This is usually followed by confiding with another far-leftist (usually bad cop 1, possibly bad cop 2, if present) where they talk about you as if you aren't there.

In fact, they'll often try to shallowly reduce you to a caricature that is conveniently a Bad Person(tm). They can tell you're a Bad Person ("A RIGHTOID! An ANCAP! A centrist-translation-conservative!") because you don't agree with them, the supposedly secular, intellectual, data and facts driven thinker! Then stop midway through whatever conversation you're having to try and appeal to that human reaction of a group of peers deciding someone is in the wrong and being outed. Like artificially manufacturing that response, to make someone question themselves. No matter what the topic, or hoe wrong they are.

It's a combination of practiced performance, outrage, prefabricated argument and emotional manipulation. And the more times they perform it just to mold peoples experiences, the more people notice the patterns of their behavior.

This fact and the simple insistence of demanding Latinos call themselves, "LATINX" is single handedly why Latin America and Anglo America are coming to an understanding that these guerillas don't wear uniforms and don't fight with weapons- they lie, they manipulate, they deceive, and they use.

And the fact these people feel obliged to try and get into the hearts and minds of every non-white demographic in the states (or world, more accurately) and fill their heads with revolutionary garbage that tells them white people are genocidal monsters, just one election away from ethnosupremacist fascism and ethnic cleansing, is starting to become apparent and catalogued in ways that cannot be denied.

Despite the language and culture barrier, we both understand bullshit artists, liars and predators when we spot them.

[wrongcaitlyn]

i started rereading tyt and i had a question. it’s probably answered within the fic but my english is not really that good but what exactly happened between nico, jason and bryce in the start of the fic??? was it a cupid situation or something totally different??

ahh no worries!! yeah it's intentionally made pretty vague, i think that i gave a short-ish summary of it but if that wasn't super clear that's 100% on me lmao - basically, i think towards the end of their freshman year-ish? or like mid freshman year. not entirely sure when but some time during their freshman year, it was bryce, jason, and nico in an empty classroom (i never put a reason why, but the image i pictured was like nico accidentally forgot smth like a pencil or his phone or something in the classroom and went to get it, meanwhile bryce was holding up jason and trying to get him to talk about stuff/be friends... like clout-chasing shit. he's an asshole but anyway

jason being the people-pleaser he is just stands there and kinda listens as bryce brags abt things that he doesn't even care abt, and then nico walks in to get his pencil or whatever it is, and bryce just takes this as an opportunity to like - gain jason's approval? or something? keep in mind that bryce is just a total dick, and jason is not, but bryce does not know that about jason. but anyway, i don't think he *actually* knew that nico was trans/gay, but just made assumptions/very negative remarks in relation to that in a sort of mocking manner.

it wasn't really ment to parallel cupid, because cupid most definitely knew that nico was gay. and he's a literal god. in this case, it's just a teenage boy doing a very shitty thing because he thought it'd make him cool (not excusing that at ALL hopefully this doesn't come off in a "boys will be boys" way because that's not what i'm intending)

nico, obviously, when hearing the implication, immediately dashes, assuming that bryce has somehow figured it out, and will then be telling the entire school, but really, bryce just picked on nico because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. unfortunately, nico doesn't see jason do a complete 180 on bryce (he's no longer just tolerating him), and eventually gets him expelled too. jason doesn't necessarily *know* if what bryce said was true, but he makes the assumption that based on nico's reaction, it was true to some extent, and it leads to him deciding on sitting at nico/leo/will's table the next year (partly because he's like, ah, gay friends for piper because i am totally a straight ally, and partly because he just doesn't know anyone else at this school who isn't a complete asshole- seeing that octavian and the others were friends with bryce)

so yeah it's pretty vague in my head, and it's not necessarily "nico was outed by someone who very definitely knew about his sexuality" but rather "bryce was pulling assumptions out of his ass to try and make bullying seem cool when it really really wasn't and nico was just unfortunately the one who was there at the time"

but obviously, that's not going to make a huge difference in nico's opinion. there was no way for him to know that bryce was just guessing. and so when he's able to very vaguely and briefly explain the situation to will and leo, he just thinks that he's been outed. he's shocked when he gets to school the next week and realizes that literally no one knows, and no one cares about him, just the same as last week

thank you for the ask!!

[lesslie-sass]

Average experience with nuzi shippers

Heavy stuff under there, mention of su1cide ideation and how whole "getting cancelled thing" affected me

Yeah I'm still bitter and so what? Those, let's call things their names, assholes get off scoot-free after insulting me, sending me death threats, cancelling me, basically ruining my reputation and making me some kind of toxic monster that has nothing good to say. And according to some lizard12323 bitch I also don't deserve good life.

That definitely didn't worsen my suicide ideation and feeling of worthlessness, making me have fear of stabbing myself with kitchen knife, and I do in fact still feel dread holding a knife, or made me practicly shut down for almost two month. But I guess it doesn't matter because I ship problematic, abusive ship. Which I repeat for how many times again I DO NOT THINK IS HEALTHY AND I'M NOT SERIOUS ABOUT IT. add that this accident wasn't main reason for my decline, I had rather terrible graduation that practicly broke me, with it hitting me with everything that's wrong in my life, but this whole thing definitely didn't help during that time.

And it's really funny how those people preach about "acceptence" and be "free and cringy", that an unstable brat like Uzi (reason why I hate Uzi is rather personal, which I don't wanna unpack here right now) deserves all the sympathy, yet the second those like her, me, don't agree with their opinion and are vocal about it - they do everything to shit on them, make them shut up and leave. Ignoring how someone acted worse, sending literal death threats, even going as far to cut that part off screenshot when I said about retrieving them.

And what's even funnier - I actually thought of apologizing, unbelievable from someone like me, huh? That maybe I was too crude and was egging, "ragebating", people with my tone and that certain post, but that quickly got thrown out of the window once death threats came and everyone ignored it. Some even encourage it.

Do I say I'm just innocent victim and didn't nothing wrong? Oh hell no, I was pretty cocky and don’t feel any guilt (low empathy hi) for shitting on n*zi ship and Uzi, I still stay true to my "wrong" opinion and "bad" takes, and I did wish for something bad to happen to kittydragondraws, moonmarooned, lizard12323 and this Nori Doorman user. I was indeed mad at these people, some more than others. I do wish for them to suffer at least some consequences for making me feel like that, blowing out situation by arguing with me, instead of just leaving me alone, and making bunch of people block me. Which honestly feels like they got butthurt I didn't change my mind after their "criticism" of me, which was just dismissing my opinion as "wrong" and shielding themselves with stupid headcannons, that don't hold any weight in argument from neither side. Also these whole thing did remind of simular incident in the past, where I got practicly in the same situation with everyone hating me and me being helpless to do anything about it, don't wanna elaborate on it, it’s really personal. And I know, I'm an adult (though let's be real, no one feels like adult in 20), should've know better and all, which makes everyone automaticly have less sympathy towards me, especially with my choise of otp to draw. But in the end, I didn't do anything THAT hurtful and deserving of such hate, I wasn't wishing someone death, insulting someone's interests, calling those who don’t agree with me bigots and all other kinds of "ism" for sure. Wasn't hypocritical, saying I care about everyone who left fandom early, but then mock and throw those who had opinion I don't agree with under the bus, which might cause some to leave early (hi kitty).

Was it self-pitying? Honestly, don't know, I just needed to get this out of my chest for good, to finaly move on. I didn't made this post for starting this drama again, but to spread awareness of how terrible some people with popular aka "right" opinion can be to those individuals who think differently. And that n*zi still sucks pretty hard and Uzi is a brat.

[mesillusionssousecstasy]

The Summer I Turned Pretty 2x06 - "Love Fest"

In this episode, I really didn't know what happened to the writers, because from episode 5, Belly just wanted to stay focus on Jeremiah and being kissed by him, to the next day remembering Conrad all over again. This is so fucked up, even more so that it has only been six weeks that Susannah has passed away and now, Belly is playing a very very messy game with the two grieving brothers. Teasing to an extreme Jeremiah on one side then remembering the past with Conrad on the other. Do the writers know we are not in a Game of Throne's episode, I really don't see an incestuous relationship taking place between the three of them here.

Anyway, one thing I can tell is that the chemistry between Jeremiah and Belly is undeniable, the sexual tension is so so strong. It's just unrealistic that she hasn't kissed him already. And if I'm not mistaken Belly had more cuddling and scenes with Jeremiah than Conrad.

What I didn't like in this episode was those unrealistic scenes that didn't make sense at all: - This inheritance nonsense, because now we know that the house went to Susannah and Julia, so the Susannah's part should have been to Conrad and Jeremiah. WTF - Belly asking kindly for alcohol, it's not Europe you guys. - The "retro" cloths for the party? Come on, no one used to wear that in the 90's, nor really listen to those songs. - The horrible blue light inside the house which just happened to be there. - The middle name to prove that someone will like you. - Jeremiah and Belly not kissing on the sofa. - The random fight around Conrad asking Jeremiah's blessing for Belly, taking way more proportion than selling the House and Susannah's death. - This obsession over Taylor Swift's songs.

But, let me tell you this episode was a big win for Taylor and Steven relationship. They were the one concerned by the title of the episode. Good for them. Now, we know why Sheila didn't come back (sorry is in Ibiza) this season. I feel sad for that, but in the same time a bit joyful, because otherwise we would have never get those two together.

Finally learning approximatively when Susannah has passed away : "six weeks ago" from what day? The timeline reminds still a mystery to me.

I really didn't understand why they have created this Aunt Julia nonsense. She is useless and not interesting. I think they had to create content. But the same story could have worked with Conrad and Jeremiah's father trying to sell the house.

I don't understand this sudden excellent friendship between Steven and Conrad, this didn't make sense at all, because next season Steven was always hanging out with Jeremiah.

What I liked was the pool scene with Belly and Jeremiah as a call back to season 1 with this time a Taylor Swift's song entirely for them.

I still don't know if I really care about Skye and Cam at all. It's ok, but not necessary to the storyline.

I really didn't like Belly apologizing to Conrad about the words exchanged during the funeral. She wasn't the one to be blame. Conrad acted as an asshole like he always does.

Interesting Belly, so Jeremiah's kisses are the hottest.

Conrad not being serious for one minute while Jeremiah was showing him their old pictures in the garage. Even mocking Jeremiah's greek portrait painted by their deceased mother. Way to go Conrad.

Taylor's advice to Belly was good and logical.

It was nice to see Nicole again and the gang back, even for a short moment, but their only interaction was with Belly, why???

I'm very astonished that Jeremiah and Conrad's fight have taken place only now and not days or months before. I thought the situation would have exploded way earlier.

I didn't really like the beach scene between Belly and Conrad. Belly facial expression wasn't good. Conrad being is true self, almost tossing Belly on the sand. Honestly when he used "We did". It was so harsh. Like she didn't even matter to him. He has moved on from her a long time ago.

Overall, a strange episode that I haven't seen coming at all.

I will post the quotes and the new prediction that I found tomorrow, going directly to bed (having slept only 2h30), dreaming about Jeremiah and Belly kissing and not being interrupted this time.

Good night.

[stalkersdiary]

I was amazed by your content, Sir, and I was wondering: How did you find out about the way you feel/view love? Like, as if you dated someone and realized "Wow...I feel this way". Just curious! (If this is too much, please feel free to ignore me)

Pd. Can I be your "🥀anon" for now? (If you are confortable, that is)

This is a bit heavy, so I apologise ahead of time. I feel like I should provide context as it’s really relevant for the escalation of my mental state. I’m not upset about answering this, but you are getting the warning that the answer is… A lot. Honestly, it’s nice getting some of this out of my system so I’m not complaining. ^^ I never really thought I felt different from anyone else, because I didn’t used to. I was probably normal once; I think. It’s just that the feelings became more corrupted and unfortunate due to personal experiences. I had my first crush in middle school. I dated someone we’ll name V. I had no friends aside from them and I was being bullied severely (sexual assault, violence, and just general bullying like people gossiping about me and my body, and stealing my things) so I wasn’t going to turn down V’s request to date me. I figured it would almost feel like I had a normal life, even when I didn’t. Problem was. V was a shitty person who cheated on me, belittled me, mocked me, and manipulated me. I stood up for them a LOT. I would excuse their behaviour because I was lonely and because they treated me better than anyone else. (The bar was that low) I would basically do anything for their approval. Later, they broke up with me because I had found out, and I stood up for myself instead of for them for once. I assumed that because they “loved” me, they’d learn how much I was hurting and be kinder to me. I was very wrong, and I was devastated. I was so deeply upset that I assumed everything they had said about me was the reason I was a "bad partner", why I had no friends, and why they were so abusive. I was too ugly, too clingy, too annoying, too rude, and too “much” in general. I thought I was the problem. I thought that that was why everyone hated me. At this specific point in my life, I decided that the next person I dated or even befriended was going to stay even if it was by force. I’d train them to love me the way I thought love was supposed to be. I’d make sure they didn’t leave me. I read up on psychology, and I was deeply invested on how to make someone actually love me even when they probably wouldn’t. I would then go on to learn about different chemicals and weapons I could use if something went wrong so I wouldn’t have to… Dispose of something incorrectly. I had fantasies of abducting someone, keeping them, and training them to love and respect me, and that if anything happened, I’d end it on my own terms. I’d ruin them. I was so broken and alone that everything sounded better than being tortured for the rest of my life being an ugly, friendless, asshole, who no one wanted around. Keep in mind, this all happened while I was still in middle school.

Through moments of clarity (usually after hours of crying), I had flashes of being fully aware that my intentions were... Somewhat toxic. I felt really bad that I was about to subject people to my instability. I ended up deciding that all of what I had planned was too drastic and figured out that I was being unstable due to my pain and suffering. I still want the things I once craved. I still want someone who can love me. I still want someone who won’t hurt me. I still want to keep someone and make it so they can’t ever leave me. I want to force someone to accept me, even though I'm still an ugly, friendless, asshole no one wants. That's right, that part didn't change, because I'm aware that those things are somewhat true. When you’ve been hurt, it’s hard to move forward from a mentality that basically works to save and protect you. However, I am working on myself as I know this is from a place of trauma, fear, abandonment, and depression. I’m not perfect. No one really is. I try not to hold my feelings against myself as I usually don’t act on them. Usually… We'll pretend what happened a while ago was just a very interesting dream as I've been on my best behaviour since I'm single again. Oh and as for the "flower anon" thing, you may have to DM me the meaning of that and how exactly that works. I might be 22 at the time of me writing this, but I'm bad at human interaction and I tend to not know what things mean online.

Thank you for opening the Stalker's Diary.

[kfinalgirls]

PSYCHO

*ೃ༄Admin Nana Presents

*ೃ༄Pairing: Wen Junhui x Nana (OC) 1st pov

*ೃ༄Genre/Trope/Au: horror, established relationship trope,

*ೃ༄Rating: R rated

*ೃ༄Warnings: mentions of death, violence, hallucinations, mental health, meeting in the afterlife

*ೃ༄Word count: 920

*ೃ༄Credits to @kitsunecafe

*ೃ༄Synopsis: one minute she was breathing, then she wasn't. But Jun can't accept that he is the reason because of it. And she seems to make it her endless goal for him to realise it.

"Shut…just shut up already!" Junhui yelled as he stared at her, her legs crossed as she sat in the chair in front of him, the same chair that many people had died in at his own hands. A twisted smile playing on her lips, causing the grip on his hammer to tighten. This has happened every single day since this incident happened. "You're not real…you're not real!" Your laughter bounced off the walls of his hideout. 'Not real not real' his mind screamed over and over at him. The grip on the hammer became even tighter at the sound.

"Then why can you see me? Why can you hear me? If I'm not real, what does that make you?" She tapped your nails against the armrest of the chair. "Insane. But you knew that already right? Fucked up freak who enjoys seeing others in pain and completely at your mercy." She mocked playfully.

"I'm not insane! Don't fucking call me that! Those people deserved what they got." It's true, Junhui was a killer yes, but he was a killer of reasons, taking down those who caused pain to others and got away with it. He wouldn't kill without reason…right?

"Or what? You'll kill me again?" She snapped this time, the playful tone in her voice gone completely now, causing him to flinch. His Nana never raised her voice at him. It was one of the things he loved about her, always kind and gentle but never angry, this was not his Nana. "Did I deserve what I got? Did you enjoy making me rot in the ground? After all the fucked up shit I did for you? Bring them assholes to you so you could play god?"

"I-I didn't..I didn’t kill you!" There were blank spots on what happened the day Nana died, he remembered two main things. They fucked in the morning and argued in the afternoon and then…blank. One moment she was there and the next she weren't.

"But you did KILL me Junhui! with that exact hammer in your hand. Like you did with all the other people you brought down here..THAT I BROUGHT DOWN TO YOU. And that's the thanks I get? Putting my neck on the line for your fucked up fantasies as some fucked up justice warrior? All because I said I didn’t want to do it anymore." Shehissed. "Because I wanted us to flee and start somewhere new and finally be a normal couple! A happy couple!" He remembered her pleas for him to stop that day. Stop killing, stop yelling…stop the swinging of the hammer until eventually it was her who stopped. Stopped pleading, stopped crying, stopped moving…No, that's fake too, he would never do that to her. It never happened.

"You're lying." He gritted through his teeth. "I'd never- I would never kill you darling!"

"But you did! You did and this is what has become of you. Lying, denial, desperate little psycho who still gets his rocks off on killing others. You're so fucked up and so deep in you'll kill the ones you love in a fit of rage and all because they wanted a normal fucking life!" She screamed.

"FUCKING STOP!" That was the last straw as he threw the hammer, eyes closed and directed at you. Causing a loud thug as it made a connection, eerily like the sound of when it hits a skull. Once his eyes opened again, a smile quickly turned into sinister laughter. Nana was no longer sitting in the chair, instead it was a now headless mannequin, which he likes to practice on before actually committing his crimes, yet somehow always becomes the image of you. He laughed so hard he cried. Tears of hurt? Tears of anger? He could never tell.

He cleaned up the mess once his episode had ended. Looking around his murder room. As if checking she was still lingering there. "I told you…you're not fucking real." He mumbled before turning the lights off on his way out.

It was a warm evening with a slight breeze as he reached the empty car park, or what he thought was empty. He saw how the stars seemed extra bright which was unusual for the area he lived in. He remembered how much Nana loved the stars, on the nights he didn't have a kill on the mind and they both could be a normal couple, and how she would talk about the constellations that could see even though he wasn't interested in them, but more her passion for them. He was so invested in the memory he didn't realize the car speeding right towards him.

A cry of his name was the last thing he heard before the impact. before it all went black. When he woke up she was the first thing he saw, dressed in a white and a rose was in his hand instead of the usual weapon.

'Darling?'

'You're here..I thought you'd keep me waiting.'

'You were waiting for me? Even after what I did?'

'You're a psycho Junhui.' She hummed as you moved closer. Taking the rose from his hand. "But my Psycho. And maybe this was my only way to have a peaceful life with you. I just had to be a bit more patient.' Her lips met his and his body relaxed for the first time since that day. After two years after losing you. He was finally at peace.

[the-firebird69]

Tenacious D - ...Baby One More Time (from Kung Fu Panda 4)

He's singing this song and it is mocking her son and he's looking at this Warhammer video and he's noticing something awfully gross and we told him that we don't want to hear his s*** and all sudden our son has another little dose of why don't you get off me you idiotic bully and he's going to have to try and swallow that too

Thor Freya

Olympus

We did a lot of work on it too and we know that people don't like these guys and we know that they are fighting beforehand but we saw the Paris Hilton stuff come out and thought it was intense and he says it is very intense and we knew about it a little and others too but really only a few of us this is intense stuff and these people are massive assholes about everything and now they're faced with ultimate humiliation and we know what it does to him and this guy could care less is too young for this poop it's actually true he's had it with him years ago the second he said I can have your key I thought he was going to kill him right there and he was thinking about it he said but not do it right there in front of them and we did see him again tomorrow so come over here and say stupid s*** and he's a coward and the guy wouldn't do it we should tell you that he intended to kill you so you wouldn't come back you're asking both of them and your son lost and it makes a big difference and we should know we were watching it happen we didn't necessarily orchestrate this it's turning you people into complete s*** and he didn't do it either and he says you're doing it on your own because you're arrogant idiots who are not used to driving a car and think it's the best thing since sliced bread and we saw you back and call him names call them fruitcake and he said I invented the fastest car on earth I can see what I want you can't learn it and they went around saying he's the one who invented it that's why you can say what he wants he says I invented them with clearing your fat f****** moron it's the only one with a roll cage and you guys are too stupid to have make it happen you have a gross society and they said this it's actually true and they're trying to get the cage back to them with clarin this is how would you go about doing that you pull it away from the Steven homo and you have your bud put it back in there to get back in them so they started doing that and it's not easy but they went ahead and did it and it's good we

Macs

We've had enough of them too we can't stand how you talk some guy that vampire guy from the space show is saying stuff he says we want to prove that you're not one of them I'm going to interrogate you to get to it I mean that's what we do this is not a kids f****** show you're not on channel 2 or something

Thor Freya

Olympus

[livusos]

CHAPTER 4: HEARTS IN CONFLICT.

Fans begin to question the future of The Shield after Seth's betrayal. What will happen now? Is it the end for The Shield?

JUNE 6, 2014

7:30 PM

Amore and Raven were sprawled out on the couch in the locker room , their laughter filling the air as they engaged in lighthearted banter about trivial things that somehow managed to hold their interest.

Amore was the one doing most of the talking, her words flowing freely as she regaled Raven with stories and anecdotes that had them both in stitches. Raven, on the other hand, listened with amusement, her laughter punctuating Amore's ramblings as she shook her head in mock disbelief.

Just as the girls were settling into their comfortable routine, the door swung open, and Roman and Dean entered the locker room, their expressions serious at first before softening into proud smiles as they watched the scene before them unfold.

Despite the weight of their responsibilities as members of The Shield, Roman and Dean couldn't help but feel a sense of warmth and pride as they watched Amore and Raven laughing together like old times. In that moment, they saw not just their friends, but their little sisters, and they couldn't help but feel a surge of affection for the two girls who had become such an integral part of their lives.

With a shared glance, Roman and Dean exchanged knowing smiles, silently acknowledging the bond they shared with Amore and Raven. They may have been warriors in the ring, but in that moment, surrounded by the laughter and joy of their friends, they were reminded of the true meaning of family.

"I'm happy to see you two idiots finally talking again," Roman said with a smirk, his tone teasing but affectionate. "And I don't wanna ruin the moment, but we have to go to the ring in a few minutes. Vince McMahon asked us to open SmackDown, and you know," he let out a breath, "talk about what happened last Monday."

"That asshole wants us to talk about this already?" Raven exclaimed incredulously, her voice dripping with disdain as she scoffed at the idea. Amore sighed softly, her fingers delicately playing with Raven's hair as she offered her silent support. "We'll be fine," Amore reassured Raven, her tone soothing. "And we shouldn't be too surprised that he asked us to do this so quickly... you know how Vince is."

Everyone in the room nodded in agreement, acknowledging the truth in Amore's words. Dean, ever the blunt one, finally spoke up with a scowl on his face. "He's a fucking dickhead, that's what he is." His words were met with a chorus of murmured agreements, the frustration and resentment towards Vince McMahon palpable in the air.

Roman let out a small chuckle at Dean's blunt assessment of Vince McMahon, but he nodded in agreement nonetheless. "Anyways, let's get our heads in the game and try not to be too distracted, okay? We need to keep our professionalism in the ring and bite our tongues so we don't say certain things. Make sure your gear, makeup, and hair are all good because time is ticking." His tone was firm but encouraging, reminding everyone of the task at hand and the importance of presenting themselves well in front of the audience.

As The Shield's theme song blared through the arena speakers, the crowd erupted into a frenzy of cheers and excitement, eager to see what would unfold next. Some fans watched with bated breath, their hearts pounding with anticipation, while others whispered anxiously among themselves, wondering if this would mark the end of The Shield as they knew it.

As Roman , Dean , Raven and Amore made their way down the ramp and towards the ring, the energy in the arena reached a fever pitch. Fans screamed and chanted their names, their voices echoing throughout the stadium in a cacophony of sound.

Despite the cheers and adulation from the crowd, there was a palpable sense of tension lingering in the air. The members of The Shield kept their heads held high as they marched towards the ring, but the pain of Seth's betrayal still weighed heavily on their hearts.

As they climbed into the ring, the anticipation reached a fever pitch. Fans leaned forward in their seats, their eyes glued to the action unfolding before them, unsure of what would happen next. For some, it felt like the beginning of the end, while for others, it was a turning point that would redefine the legacy of The Shield forever.

Amore made her way to the ropes where the commentators were stationed, her steps purposeful yet graceful. A staff member approached her, holding out four microphones, one for each member of The Shield. With a soft smile, Amore accepted the microphones, thanking the staff member for their assistance.

Turning back towards her fellow Shield members, Amore's gaze softened as she approached them, the weight of the moment settling over her like a heavy blanket. With careful precision, she handed each member their individual microphone, her touch gentle yet firm.

As she passed the microphones to Roman, Dean, and Raven, Amore's eyes met theirs, silently conveying her support and solidarity. Despite the turmoil and uncertainty that surrounded them, they were united in their purpose, standing together as a team in the face of adversity.

Roman's deep voice resonated through the arena as he brought the microphone to his mouth, commanding the attention of everyone present. The hushed anticipation hung heavy in the air, a palpable tension that seemed to reverberate with every word he spoke.

"Last Monday night, something unexpected happened," Roman began, his tone measured yet laced with emotion. "None of us knew that Seth had this plan... plan of betrayal brewing up inside of him."

As his words echoed through the arena, a somber mood settled over the crowd, the weight of his revelation sinking in. Roman's expression was grave as he spoke, his eyes reflecting the pain and confusion that still lingered in the aftermath of Seth's betrayal.

"We're all filled with resentment and pain after it all happened," Roman continued, his voice steady despite the turmoil roiling within him. "The man I once called my brother, backstabbed me - backstabbed US."

The words hung in the air, heavy with the weight of their shared betrayal. The silence that followed was deafening, the crowd absorbing Roman's words with a mix of shock and disbelief. But amidst the pain and uncertainty, there was also a sense of solidarity, a shared determination to overcome the challenges that lay ahead.

As Roman lowered the microphone, his gaze swept over the crowd, his expression resolute. Despite the betrayal they had faced, he knew that they would emerge stronger, united in their resolve to reclaim their honor and their bond as brothers.

As Amore raised the microphone to her lips, a hush fell over the arena, the fans hanging onto her every word with bated breath. They had not expected her to speak, let alone to address the betrayal with such fervor and conviction. But as her voice filled the air, laced with resentment and pain, they couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness for the once-unbreakable bond that had been shattered by Seth's betrayal.

"All of us are torn between what to think and believe after Seth had done to us," Amore began, her voice trembling with emotion. "But if there's one thing we're sure of, it's the fact that..."

Her words hung in the air, heavy with the weight of their shared pain and disillusionment. The fans leaned in, their eyes widening in shock as they listened to Amore's impassioned words. She was always the epitome of kindness and compassion, but now, her voice carried an edge of anger and betrayal that was palpable.

"No matter what happens," Amore continued, her voice rising with each word, "the Authority will never cherish or love him the way we did. Because the Authority isn't family. They are just sick people who could care less about Seth."

The arena erupted into murmurs of disbelief, the fans stunned by the raw emotion in Amore's words. They had never heard her speak with such intensity before, and it was clear that her anger was fueled by the depth of her love and loyalty to Seth and their shared bond as a family.

As Raven slowly raised the microphone to her lips, a sense of hesitation flickered in her eyes, betraying the turmoil raging within her. The fans watched with bated breath, their anticipation mounting as they waited to hear what she would say. Many of them had shipped Raven and Seth together, captivated by their undeniable chemistry and believing in the depth of their connection.

"It pains me to even have to acknowledge the fact that Seth betrayed us, his family," Raven began, her voice tinged with sadness and disappointment. "What Amore said is true, though. The Authority would and probably will betray him very quickly."

Her words hung in the air, heavy with the weight of their shared pain and disillusionment. The fans listened intently, their hearts aching as they felt the rawness of Raven's emotions.

"As soon as they cannot use him anymore," Raven continued, her voice growing stronger with each word, "they'll throw him out like he was nothing but an empty cup need to be thrown out."

The arena fell into stunned silence, Raven's words echoing in the air like a solemn proclamation. The fans could feel the truth in her words, and they couldn't help but be moved by the depth of her love and loyalty to Seth, despite his betrayal.

Dean brought the microphone to his lips, his expression dark and his voice laced with anger. It was evident to everyone present that when Dean was hurt, his anger was quick to surface, masking any other emotion.

"We did everything for Seth and loved him like a brother," Dean began, his tone low yet brimming with raw honesty. "If anybody was to try and hurt him, we wouldn't hesitate to tear that person to shreds."

His words resonated throughout the arena, carrying with them the weight of their shared history and the depth of their loyalty to Seth. The fans listened intently, their hearts heavy with the realization of the betrayal they had all experienced.

"It was a jackass move from him to do what he did last Monday," Dean continued, his voice growing more impassioned with each word. "We all know that the Authority will get bored of him soon, and he'll feel what we felt last Monday."

His words were met with a mixture of murmurs and nods of agreement from the crowd, who understood the truth behind Dean's blunt assessment of the situation. As the weight of their collective anger hung heavy in the air, it was clear that Seth's betrayal had left a deep scar on their hearts, one that would not easily be healed.

"But I promise you all that our revenge will come—" Dean's words were abruptly cut off as the microphone was knocked out of his hand, sending a jolt of surprise through the arena. Before anyone could react, chaos erupted as Dean was suddenly attacked by an unseen assailant.

The crowd erupted into a cacophony of boos and screams as members of The Shield found themselves overwhelmed by the sudden assault from the Authority. The air crackled with tension as the two factions clashed, fists flying and bodies crashing against the unforgiving canvas of the ring.

Despite their best efforts to fight back, The Shield found themselves struggling to gain the upper hand against their adversaries. The Authority's ambush had caught them off guard, leaving them reeling and vulnerable in the face of their enemies' relentless onslaught.

Amidst the chaos, Roman, Dean, Amore, and Raven fought side by side, their bond as strong as ever even in the face of overwhelming odds. With each blow they exchanged, they drew strength from each other, their determination to overcome their enemies unshaken by the chaos unfolding around them.

As Raven finally found her strength and pushed Charlotte harshly against the ropes, a sense of triumph surged through her. However, her victory was short-lived as Charlotte retaliated, launching another attack that left Raven reeling and gasping for breath in the corner of the ring.

Amore, seeing her friend in distress, sprang into action, landing a harsh punch on Charlotte and momentarily stunning her. But before she could follow through, Rhonda intervened, pulling Amore back and launching a vicious assault of her own.

The crowd erupted into cheers and jeers as Seth made his presence known, his eyes scanning the chaos unfolding in the ring. But when his gaze fell upon Raven being attacked in the corner, a wave of anger washed over him. Triple H had promised him that Raven would be safe, and yet here she was, vulnerable and under attack.

Without hesitation, Seth's hands clenched around the steel chair in his grasp, his focus shifting from Triple H to the chaos unfolding before him. In a sudden burst of rage, he swung the chair with brutal force, the metal connecting with Triple H's back in a resounding clang.

The impact sent shockwaves through the arena, the sound reverberating through the air. The crowd fell silent for a moment, stunned by Seth's sudden betrayal, before erupting into a frenzy of cheers and applause.

As Raven caught a glimpse of Seth betraying Triple H, a small smile tugged at the corners of her lips, a flicker of hope reigniting within her. Roman, on the other hand, stared at Seth with wide-eyed shock, his anger simmering beneath the surface.

The tension between Seth and Roman was palpable, their fractured brotherhood casting a shadow over the chaos unfolding in the ring. For a moment, they simply stared at each other, the weight of their shared history weighing heavily on their shoulders.

But before the moment could stretch on any longer, Randy Orton launched himself at Seth, intent on delivering a punishing RKO. Without hesitation, Roman sprang into action, leaping up from where he was seated and intercepting Randy with a powerful spear, sending both men crashing to the mat in a heap.

The crowd erupted into a frenzy as they watched the chaos unfolding before them. Seth paused for a moment, his lips pressed together in contemplation, before lifting the steel chair high above his head once more and bringing it crashing down on Triple H once again.

Meanwhile, Raven tapped into a well of newfound strength, fueled by the betrayal she had witnessed and the determination to fight back. With a fierce determination, she overpowered Charlotte, seizing control of the situation and delivering her signature finisher with precision and force.

As Seth turned to face Dean's accusing gaze, a mix of guilt and determination flashed across his features. Before he could respond, Triple H seized the opportunity to strike, shoving Seth forcefully onto the mat with a brutal shove. Seth hit the canvas with a thud, momentarily stunned by the unexpected attack.

Triple H wasted no time, immediately following up with a series of punishing wrestling moves. He started with a vicious clothesline, knocking Seth back to the mat, followed by a powerful spinebuster that sent shockwaves through the ring. With Seth reeling on the canvas, Triple H locked in a tight headlock, squeezing with all his might to cut off Seth's air supply and weaken him further.

But just as Triple H seemed to have the upper hand, Raven launched herself at him with a ferocity that took everyone by surprise. With a fierce determination, she tackled Triple H to the ground, unleashing a flurry of punches and kicks

The crowd erupted into cheers and screams as they watched Raven take on Triple H, her relentless assault fueling their excitement. Amidst the chaos, Dean's anger and confusion only intensified as he watched Seth's actions unfold before him.

As Raven unleashed her fury on Triple H, her punches and kicks were fueled by a potent mix of anger and determination. Each blow landed with precision and force, sending shockwaves through Triple H's body and leaving him reeling on the mat.

The raw intensity of Raven's assault was evident in every movement, her eyes blazing with righteous fury as she fought tooth and nail to defend Seth and stand up to the tyranny of the Authority. She didn't hold back, channeling all her pent-up frustration and pain into each strike, determined to make Triple H pay for trying to even place his hands on Seth.

But as the adrenaline of the moment began to fade, Raven felt a gentle hand on her shoulder, pulling her back from the brink of her rage. It was Seth, slightly injured but still standing strong, his presence a soothing balm amidst the chaos of the ring.

"I'm okay, pretty girl," Seth reassured her, his voice calm and steady despite the chaos around them. His words cut through the haze of anger that clouded Raven's mind, grounding her in the reality of the situation and reminding her that they were in this together.

In that moment, as Seth's comforting words washed over her, Raven felt a sense of calm wash over her. She took a deep breath, allowing the tension to melt away as she leaned into Seth's reassuring embrace. Despite the chaos and uncertainty swirling around them, they found solace in each other's presence, a silent reminder of the strength and resilience that bound them together as friends and allies.

As Stephanie McMahon rushed down the ramp in her high heels, her face contorted with worry and fear as she saw her husband lying injured in the ring. She struggled to maintain her balance, nearly tripping several times in her haste to reach Triple H's side.

Behind her, a team of security guards followed closely, their expressions grim as they assessed the situation unfolding before them. With practiced efficiency, they rushed to Triple H's aid, carefully helping him to his feet and ushering him out of the ring.

Stephanie's heart pounded in her chest as she watched the scene unfold, her mind racing with concern for her husband's well-being. She couldn't bear to see him hurt, especially at the hands of those she considered allies.

As Triple H was escorted out of the ring, Stephanie turned her attention to the Shield members, her gaze meeting their defiant stares with a mixture of anger and frustration. She knew that they were responsible for her husband's injuries, and she vowed to make them pay for what they had done.

But even as Stephanie glared at the Shield with fury in her eyes, she couldn't shake the feeling of unease that lingered in the pit of her stomach.

As Stephanie McMahon and the rest of the Authority members were escorted backstage, the arena erupted in a chorus of boos, the crowd showing their disdain for the group that had long held power over the WWE. Their anger was palpable, a tangible force that reverberated throughout the arena.

In the ring, the tension between Seth and Raven was thick, their eyes locked in a silent exchange that spoke volumes. Amore, still recovering in the corner of the ring, watched them with a heavy heart, her own injuries forgotten as she observed her best friend and the man she had once cared for deeply.

With a heavy sigh, Seth finally broke the silence, his voice barely above a whisper as he uttered a simple "I'm sorry." It was a fleeting moment, but in that brief instant, Raven could see the regret and pain etched in his features.

Before Raven could respond, Seth slid out of the ring and began to make his way backstage, leaving her alone with her unanswered questions and a heart heavy with emotion. As she watched him go, Raven couldn't help but feel a sense of loss, knowing that things between them would never be the same again.

[pasta5284]

'idk why my roommates tried to tell me a fishtank was a bad idea. it's not like i killed over 10 fish/aquatic animals, largely due to repeatedly putting them in unacclimated water that i knew was unhealthy for them because i couldn't put aside my own selfish desire for an animal life to control longer than two seconds to just wait for the tank to be livable! and who cares if it was against the lease, that i share with someone else and did not ask before getting the tank, and also it will be my roommates' responsibility to hide the tank most of the time whenever someone comes for an inspection. and the lease ends very soon anyway- and we all know packing and moving a 20 gal fishtank while also hiding it from the apartment workers is easy (so long as my friends help, but luckily i volunteered them for it without asking), and not at all stressful for the animals. i'm a great friend and pet owner! that's also why i wanted to get a kitten when i knew i would be moving in a month or two, because that definitely wouldn't be stressful for it. see i've pet a stray cat before and dropped a kitten on its head (which is actually good for their development just fyi not dangerous at all) so i know how to properly care for them, especially a baby in a new environment that even i'm unfamiliar with! and let's not forget my dog who i neglected to the point of gaining like 20 lbs in just a couple of months due to lack of walks, and who would piss all over the apartment floors almost every day (also my friends' responsibility to clean up lol gross) also due to lack of walks, aaaand was visibly depressed and anxious due to her lack of exercise and stimulation! did i mention i want a snake, even though i will loudly complain any time my roommate feeds his because i think the frozen mice are disgusting. oh and i think now would also be a great time to get a puppy! i'm a great person who truly cares about animals, unlike my roommates who only care about things like """water quality""" and """stress""" and """considering the animals' wellbeing""" 🙄 '

[starlightxsvt]

3 dates | c.sc

pairing ➳ badboy!Seungcheol x female!reader

genre ➳ badboy au, romance, some fluff, angst, bad attempt at humour, gets spicy at the end.

word count ➳ 12.4k+ (i have NO idea how this became so long so strap in for a ride)

warnings ➳ cursing, mentions of killing, mentions criminal activities, slight violence(non explicit), smoking, ma man Seungcheol ain't your typical badboy, self doubt, blackmailing, reader does all sorts of risky things cuz she's a SIMP, blood(nothing explicit), kissing, marking, some breast worshipping, grinding, reader is horny lol. (Please lemme know if I forgot anything.)

synopsis ➳ after one fateful encounter with him you cannot get him out of your head. so you opt to do some crazy things to catch his attention and even snag a few dates with him. only trouble is he isn't the type to stay after the whole disposition is over.

Swirling the third drink in your hand you heave yet another depressed sigh. You are so tired that you feel like you can just slump on the counter and pass out. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to stop for a drink, you alcohol riddled brain thinks.

The plans you had with Katelyn was cancelled last moment; she called to tell you that her thesis submission date was moved forward and so she couldn't hang out with you tonight. You're in the middle of an existential crisis quite literally, the too many part time jobs yet still lack of money and copious amounts of study getting to you. Staring hard at your drink you contemplate if it is worth giving up on college and your dream of becoming an arts major. It sure feels tempting right now, the long hours at the diner and not enough sleep at night proving to be the worst nuisance.

Sighing you put down your drink. It's still early, you should go home and try to catch up on the much needed sleep. You really had no intention of grabbing a drink tonight; you have morning classes tomorrow but you made a last moment decision to stop for a drink on your way back home. You didn't take your usual route to home today, and while trudging through the streets tiredly you came across this bar called Seventeen's. You've heard stories about this place, how it is the home to local gangs and how it's bad people's turf and what not. Your curiosity, probably too much of that made you get inside for a drink even though all the bones in your body ached. The inside is what you expected, nowhere near fancy but dingy, just decent enough. The people inside didn't look friendly and if the chains and tattoos on them gave any indication you'd say the rumours are true; this is the turf of gangs. The drinks taste decent, not the best but not the worst and from the overall look of this place you don't really have a reason to come back.

You're about to stand up from your stool when a large, clammy hand grabs your wrist out of nowhere, making you jump. "Hey sexy, sit down. Let me buy you a drink," the owner of the hand, a large, tattooed middle aged man slurs making your nose scrunch out of disgust. You're wearing nothing that can be called sexy; a plain cardigan and jeans and the way he looks you up and down makes you want to poke his eyes out.

You really shouldn't have come here. Clenching your jaw, you meet his eyes, "What makes you think I'm interested to have a drink with you?"

"Oh come on, why would you be here then, lookin' all nice? Just sit down," the man drawls, an ugly smile on his face. He still hasn't let go of your wrist and it's making you impatient. Looks like you're gonna have to kick his balls tonight. Maybe the self defense classes didn't completely go to waste.

"Get your disgusting hands off me while I'm being nice, sleazeball," you hiss at him, trying to get his hand off. The man stands up growling, "What did you say you bitch?" You're preparing to break his nose when out of nowhere a punch lands on his face that sends him tumbling to the ground. The attacker gets on top of him and twists his arm and you can literally hear a bone snap.

Shit.

"I think she said she is not interested," the man hisses, landing yet another another hit on his face before kicking his groin and getting up. When he turns around and his eyes meet yours, your heart skips a few beats and you almost The man is drop dead gorgeous, someone you would not expect to see here but probably on the cover of a high end magazine. His blond hair is long, crossing the nape of his neck as well as some covering his forehead. What takes your breath away the most is his eyes, the most beautiful pair you've ever seen. They seem to have their own galaxies in them, so deep and mesmerising and decorated with lashes long enough to make you jealous. His dress up, black jacket and jeans, immediately tells you what he is; a gang member.

"You should get home, lady," He speaks in a no nonsense tone, his face cold as ice. But you're offended. "Excuse me? Who are you calling lady? You make it sound like I'm old." You puff your cheeks and cross your arms, trying to appear intimidating. "Besides I had the situation under control, you didn't need to butt in." The man keeps looking at you with that no nonsense look, his features displaying annoyance if you are right and he's clearly not intimidated. The dude on the floor grunts and makes an effort to get up, only to be kicked by your saviour once more. "Hey Mingyu, get him out of here. What was this piece of trash doing here anyway?" The man orders to someone before turning to look at you, "Do you live far?"

"Uh- no, a ten minutes walk from here maybe," you reply unsurely, surprised at his question. The blond haired man nods before grabbing your wrist, "I'll walk you home. Hurry up, lady." You have a feeling he's purposely calling you that and though you start following him out of the bar, you make grunts of protest.

"Oh yeah, why? Trying to find out my address? So you can come later and hurt me like that guy?" You would not be this brazen if it wasn't for the alcohol in your system, after all the man next you isn't a friendly one if the rumours are true. The man raises a brow at you, "Did you do something that requires me to beat you up?" You hiccup at his serious tone. Does he not get a joke? He lets go of your hand now that you're at a safe distance from the bar but still stays close enough to you as your steps are rather stumbling and messy. You aren't fully drunk but your body is tired and feels like will shut down any second.

You really need some sleep.

"You know I'm not that drunk. You don't have to walk me home." You complain. "I'm walking you home because this isn't a nice place you should be alone at night. What happened earlier could happen again." He says not looking at you. "Mhmm," you keep on trudging behind him, "Thank you so much for your kind gesture, sir." You mock him but he doesn't reply, staring straight ahead, completely ignoring you as he walks quietly. In silence you two walk the rest of the path, before finally stopping as your apartment comes into view. At this point it feels like your bones will break and you will plop down on the concrete any second, but you manage to keep standing. "Well, thanks for walking me home." You shift your weight from one foot to another. "And for helping me back there." He shrugs coolly, a bored expression on his face. He's turning to walk away when you call, "Hey- I didn't get your name."

"What do you need it for?" He side glances at you. You shrug, "I don't know. You helped me so I thought it'd be nice to know your name." "You don't need to. Go inside, lady." He says, his tone final and starts marching away. You wait a couple moments before yelling, "Asshole!" and quickly rushing inside your building, partly afraid he's gonna come back.

You won't be surprised if you get killed tonight.

-

"So you are telling me Choi Seungcheol walked you home?" Katelyn screams in your ear, jolting up from her seat, earning glares from other people at the library in the process. "That's his name?" You whisper-yell, grabbing her hand to pull her back down. "I'm guessing from the blond hair you said," Katelyn shrugs. "Uh huh." You mean back in your chair, "He was hot though."

"Is that seriously all you have to say?" Katelyn whines exasperatedly. "No, I mean, if it wasn't for the way he dresses or talks I would have thought he's a model or something." You murmur.

"Are you sure he didn't hurt you?" Katelyn questions. "Hell no!" You frown. "He saved me from that creepy old dude. I was surprised too. I wish I didn't drink so much, I could have gotten a better look at his face," you sigh. "Seriously?" Katelyn raises a brow at you.

"Girl, you should have seen him. His aura and the way he carried himself was...so hot." You grin to yourself. Katelyn watches you like you've grown two heads. "Are you trying to tell me you have a crush on that gangster?" You smile sheepishly, "Maybe, I mean it's harmless. He was broody yet charming and I'm a girl so.... Also, it's not like he likes me too and is gonna come running whenever I ask him to bang me." You mutter.

"Oh he's gonna break your bones and bang your skull against a wall. That's what he's gonna do."

"Come on! Maybe he isn't so bad. Maybe the rumours are just rumours. Maybe he just looks intimidating and dresses up like that and people thinks he's a gangster." "Really? His name is on every bad thing that happens around here. From illegal racing to murders. Do you know that people say he has killed too?" "Like I said, rumours," you shrug being your stubborn self. Katelyn holds her hands up in surrender, "You know what? It doesn't matter. I'm glad you're alive so let's just put this behind us, shall we?" You don't reply but wiggle your brows at her, a conspirational look on your face. "Oh no, don't look at me like that," Katelyn warns. "Let's go to that bar tonight. Please?" You give her your best puppy eyes. "What are you? Fucking crazy? You wanna get killed?" She whisper-yells, scowling at you. "No. I just wanna take another look at him. Without the alcohol in my system you know. Besides, the place isn't that bad." You reply.

"Well then get killed by yourself. I'm not coming with you."

"I'll help you with your papers for the rest of the semester."

"Shit."

-

"Well, looks like your wish won't be coming true," Katelyn muses chugging down her fourth glass as you keep playing with your first one. It's nearing an hour since you've come to the bar and there has been no sign of the man you desperately seek. The place is exactly like it was the other day, filled with people who you wouldn't want to mess with.

Yet here you are.

"Let's call it a night," Katelyn sighs. "We're just wasting our time." You know that too but you don't want to leave; not just yet. You are well aware that this is just pathetic but you've this crazy urge to see that man once again. You don't know why you feel this way; you never felt like this before. Why are thinking yourself to death about a complete stranger? Has some kind of spell been casted on you?

"Yeah, let's get going," you murmur half heartedly. You help your friend stand up as she's a little wobbly on her feet and together you make your way through the door. "Should we call a cab?" You ask Katelyn. She shakes her head no and you nod, you arms wrapped around hers to support her in case she looses her balance. You start stepping away from the bar and towards the road to her place until a noise from behind makes you stop in your tracks.

"Did you hear that?" You ask, whipping your head behind. There's no one around and the street is mostly dark other than the light flashing from the name of the bar. You hear the sound once again and this time you can locate where it's coming from. There's an abandoned playground at the back of the bar and you've a feeling that's the source.

Katelyn hisses as she sees you step towards there. "What are you doing!"

"Didn't you hear that?"

"Yes I did. That's why I say we leave!" You ignore her and cautiously keep on stepping forward, mentally cursing yourself for wearing heels. Katelyn follows behind you murmuring all kinds of warnings. "You know curiosity killed the cat, right?" She whispers.

You roll your eyes, "Well I'm not a cat. Just- be quiet. It can be nothing." You both move past the bar gingerly and towards the playground at the back. There are old gallons of oil and abandoned materials just around the corner and you two quickly hide among them. It takes you a while to get adjusted to the low light after you poke your head up from the hiding spot.

You're eyes fix on him immediately. His blond hair makes him easily recognisable amid the darkness. There is a few more people around him, all kicking something in the ground. Not something, but someone. The man lying on the ground groans in pain and you realize this is what you both heard. "Shit," You hear Katelyn curse from beside you. "We need to get going." Instead of replying, you keep your eyes trained on the scene unfolding, holding your breath. You're tranced. Seungcheol lands continuous punched on the guy laying below him and after a moment his writhing frame seems to stop moving as it falls limp.

Fuck.

"You know in movies this is the part where people get caught." Katelyn whispers, her voice hoarse and her hand clutching yours in a tugging motion. "Uh-huh. But I can't seem to move. I wonder if he's... really dead." You whisper back. "Are you fucking crazy!" She hisses. "You wanna witness murder?"

Before you can reply you hear a sound that echoes through the empty field and it takes a second for you two to realise that it came from any one of you two. You don't have the time to figure out who made it as you both are crawling away from the playground without looking back, head crouched low to avoid being seen. You don't know if they heard that or if they're coming behind you, you both just keep scrambling, moving until you're past the corner. As soon as possible you both get on your feet and run like the grim reaper is chasing you, stopping only when you are far enough from the bar.

"I am never listening to you again!" Katelyn yells.

-

It's been a good few days since your near death experience and you somehow find yourself in front of that bar once again. You and Katelyn have not brought up that incident after that night. You made yourself believe that it was over and came to a conclusion that it is better to forget that man and leave all of it behind, no matter how much your heart disagreed. But it's easier said than done; you may not mention him out loud but in the back of your mind you think of him. He's like a ghost, haunting you all the time, plagueing your thoughts when you go to bed at night. It felt like he was ever existent and there was an itch in your heart that drove you insane.

Maybe that's why your subconscious brought you here, in front of Seventeen's, once again. You were on your way back home from library and you thought you took your usual route, until you realized you were standing in front of that place. But what is even terrifying is that the man haunting your mind stands in front of the entrance of the bar and you blink a few times to make sure you are not hallucinating. He's leaned against the entrance door, cigarette between his lips and from his pocket he fetches a lighter to light the poison in his mouth.

Damn, lighting up a cigarette never looked this sexy.

He hasn't seen you yet and you contemplate running the other way. That's the sensible thing to do but you, not being a sensible person, start walking towards him. Your footsteps make him look up and notice you and like the last time, there is no expression on his face. It's the same bored yet handsome face except now in daylight you can take a better look at him and this time, you notice a little mole on the left of his face, by his nose. Realising he's gonna stay silent you decide to speak, "Hi... It's me... Do you remember me?" Wow. That's such an intelligent thing to ask.

With the monotoned yet serious expression on his face, he goes, "Why won't I? I don't have Alzheimer's."

So he can joke.

You laugh, an awkward, probably exaggerated laugh. "What are you doing here? Did you not learn your lesson last time?" He cuts to the chase, his voice brassy and deep, almost threatening. You want to roll your eyes. "Who are you to say? I can be wherever I want whenever I want, thank you very much." "Well then, have fun getting in trouble like last time." He's nonchalant as he blows a smoke right past you and stands up straight, turning away. "Wait!" You almost grab his hand, desperate to stop him.

What is wrong with you? Your subconscious slaps her forehead. What are you holding him back for? To say 'hello sir, I think you're hot, can you please put your dick inside me'? Seungcheol turns his head back, his eyebrow cocked up.

Why do you find everything about him so attractive?

"Um...I know your name, Seungcheol." You speak, trying to sound intimidating, like knowing his name gives you some power over him. There's something definitely wrong with you which is why you don't want him to leave just yet and which is why you're stalling time. But it seems to have done the job as he pulls the cigarette out of his mouth and turns towards you, an annoyed look on his face. "How do you know that?" The timbre of his tone is deep and it rakes shivers down your spine. "Well, you've built quite a reputation for yourself so it isn't hard to get your name." You shrug coolly. "Well, if you know so much about my reputation, you should know what I'm capable of." His lone is low, almost threating as he starts to take slow steps towards you making you step back out of reflex.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Maybe you will also end up like the curious cat.

"Oh yes, I know. People have got a lot to say about you," you try to sound unfazed, not meeting his eyes that you feel are burning holes on your face. "What are you doing here, lady?" he asks slowly, pausing between each word and glaring at you as he continues to step forward. You can feel his patience thinning.

"I swear to God if you call me that-"

"What are you doing here?" This time his tone is scary, too scary. It makes you lose the ability to speak for a second as his dark gaze bores into you. He has backed you up against the wall behind you and you swallow. Right, what are you doing here? It probably has something to do with a very hot individual and his insanely attractive aura. Scratch that you are a hundred percent sure it has something to do with the blond haired, enticing man in front of you. He's driving you mad and you need to get your fill of him.

"Go out with me," you state and you are sure you've never spoken words more stupid than that. Internally, you cringe and pray that the ground below you would open and take you straight to the fiery pits.

This is the first time you see some sort of expression come across his face; surprise. He looks utterly shocked and somewhat confused. His mouth opens just a little and he squints at you, "What?"

There's no going back now.

"Go out with me. Let's go on three dates." you say once more, looking him in the eye. He seems to appear even more surprised, a dumbstruck look sitting on his face. He observes you quietly for a while and you can feel the gears in his head shifting. You wonder what he's gonna say next. Or maybe he won't say anything but bang your head on the wall and leave you to die alone. "I'm sorry I'm not following," he looks genuinely perplexed. "I want to go on three dates with you. They say after three dates you can figure out whether you like that person or not and I think I like you so..."

I think I like you.

The biggest understatement of the year.

Seungcheol tilts his head, an amused expression on his face as he studies you, those sharp eyes of his settling on yours, "What is your deal, sweetheart?" He crosses his arms, a brow raised. Sweetheart? That's new. And definitely better than lady. You can't deny how hearing him call you that makes your insides melt. "Nothing. I just want to date you," you shrug, trying to keep your wits together. His proximity is driving you wild; you can sniff a faint smell of cologne and cigarette, him being inches away from you. This time he laughs loudly, a mocking laugh you'd say. "Who sent you?"

Oh my god.

You roll your eyes. "Nobody sent me! Do I look like I'm a gang member or something?" "Then I don't see a reason why you'd want to date me," He states, throwing a challenging look at you.

"What if I said I have a thing for bad boys?"

He snorts. "You don't look the type to date bad boys," he mocks. "Who are you to say that?" You cross your arms. "I want to date you because I think you're hot, okay?" You can not believe you just said that. Looks like you don't have control over your mouth anymore. Warmth spreads throughout your face like a forest fire.

Seungcheol narrows his eyes on you, his tongue poking his cheek as he stands in front of you as if trying to read your mind. After a beat he sighs before looking at you, his eyes becoming darker than usual and his gaze unforgiving. "Hey. Does it look like I'm playing house here? Do you have any idea about the shit I do? The dirty work I do? I don't care if you have a fucking fetish or whatever but this is the last time I'm warning you. I don't want to see you around again. If I see you here once more, you're in fucking trouble," he spits and starts stomping away. His tone is serious and you know very well he is not joking, which is why you use your last resort. You're embarrassed at yourself for being so desperate but at the same time you feel shameless. It has almost turned into a game at this point, you want to make him surrender. That's right, you want him to give in. "You shouldn't be like that with me. I saw you, a few days ago. That night, when you and your friends were beating up that guy...in the playground," you casually stroll to come stand right behind him.

You can't believe you are blackmailing a gangster. Your death must be near.

Seungcheol whips his head back, his eyes glaring at you and you can almost see fire in them. Finally, you got his attention.

"My friend also saw it, we both did. You killed him, didn't you? Me and my friend witnessed a murder. What do you say? Should we go to the station?" You can see his jaw clench and you can't hold back a victorious smirk. Moments pass by as your words hang in the air and the tension between you gets thicker. Yet once more he surprises you, breaking the silence with a chuckle, "Well I killed one person, what makes you think I can't take care of another?"

You swallow.

"Well, my friend already knows so if I go missing you can be sure that the cops will come to you first." You throw back at him.

When did you get so wreckless?

Seungcheol stares at you for a few more seconds before shrugging and moving his hand dismissively, "Well then go tell the cops. I don't give a shit." He starts walking back to the bar leaving you starstruck. He stops and turns towards you before opening the door, "Also, I meant it. I hope I don't see you around. Otherwise I may just have to hurt that pretty face."

-

You don't show up after that.

Mostly because you are embarasssed.

It's been a good while after your last encounter with Seungcheol and you didn't go to the police, obviously. Because you don't have evidence and from what you've heard Seungcheol is pretty influential around here and you don't need to go to an extent to get on his bad side. You're definitely gonna end up dead if you do so, which you don't want just yet.

Classes have just finished and you and Katelyn step out of the classroom together, walking through the hallways and into the main campus. She rambles on about some bad sushi she ate yesterday while your mind remains preoccupied. Maybe you need to get laid. Maybe that'll make you forget about Seungcheol. You just need good dick that's probably why you were so desperate for him.

That's just a stupid lie.

You don't realise Katelyn is calling you until she shakes you by the shoulder and you snap back into reality. You notice her face is as pale as a ghost and following her line of sight your eyes stop on him.

Him. Seungcheol.

What?

You double take, blinking furiously to confirm your vision. He's standing there, in the parking area of your uni, leaned against a convertible Ferrari, a cigarette between his lips. He looks relaxed, like he does this regularly. Students whisper in each others ear while gawking at him curiously. "What did you do!" Katelyn yells. "Nothing!" You hiss back.

"Then why is he here!"

"I don't know!"

Your eyes meet with Seungcheol's and a smirk spreads across his face making you shiver. He stands up straight and tilts his head, an indication for you to come closer to him. "Fuck, he's here for me," you mumble. "Of course he's here for you, dumbass," Katelyn snaps. "Well, if I don't return, you know who killed me." You sigh starting to walk towards him. "Wait- you're going with him?" She asks incredulously.

"Don't worry. I'll keep my phone on. I don't think he's gonna murder me, I mean there are so many witnesses." You inhale deeply, leaving behind a lost looking Katelyn.

Seungcheol says nothing as you stand right in front of him raising an inquisitive brow but he only holds open the door for you to get in. Deciding to follow him you enter the car quietly and a wave of gasps go through the crowd.

There's gonna be talk about this tomorrow.

Seungcheol, still smirking victoriously for some reason rounds the car and gets inside and within seconds you're hitting the road. There's a thick silence for a while, which feels like ages to you. You're overwhelmed, bewildered to say anything; your poor brain still processing what is happening. You're nervous, jittery as you fiddle with you bag and look out on your side, for some reason scared to look at him.

What if he really kills you? He wouldn't, right?

"You're awfully quiet," Seungcheol says matter of factly as he spares you a glance while driving.

"I'm... processing."

"What are you, a robot?"

"Why are you doing this?" You question instead.

"Doing what?"

"Okay, you know very well what I mean. Why are you picking me up from uni all of a sudden? How do you even know I'm a student there?" "I have resources and...you didn't protest at all. You came along nicely," Seungcheol raised a brow at you, a cocky smile on his lips. You don't answer but continue to stare at him, trying to pin him down with your gaze. He finally sighs and pulls the car to a stop by the side of the road, the sudden brake making you slightly jerk in your seat. "I've decided to give you those 3 dates. That's why," He is calm, unreadable and you wonder if this is a prank. Then again, he has no reason to prank you, does he? "Really?" Your voice comes out breathy. "Yes. I thought I'd give you a taste of how it feels to be with someone like me. I can scare people without physically hurting them you know," He says in a menacing tone.

"So what? You're taking me to an underground fight or something?" You question. "Nah, we're keeping it simple today." He smirks as he starts the car again and turns on the radio, an indication that he doesn't want to converse anymore.

Shamelessly you take a good look at Seungcheol; he's dressed in another jacket today paired with a black tee underneath. Today, you notice he has upped his accessory game, his fingers full of rings and chains dangling from his neck. But what catches your attention is a tattoo, something like a dragon and words written in a language you don't understand, peeking from underneath his sleeve. You almost ask about it but decide it'll probably be too much and he wouldn't answer you anyway.

As you do so, in the back of your mind you think you should have dressed better, something cuter, more appropriate for a date rather than a plain blouse and jeans. But then again who knew Choi Seungcheol was gonna show up out of the blue. You're gnawing at your lower lip, lost in your thoughts when the car is pulled to a halt and you realize your ride is over. You're parked in front of a diner called Lacy's and from the vibe that the place is giving, you can tell that this is place where people like him hang out. You raise a questioning brow at Seungcheol who says, "I know it doesn't look fancy but trust me I has some of the best food I've ever eaten." Taking his words for now you quickly type out a text to Katelyn letting her know you're in one piece and get out of the car.

Once you're seated you look around the place which is relatively empty except some men playing pool at the far end. You watch Seungcheol who has gone to the reception booth to place your orders; his posture relaxed as he leans against the counter and talks to the girl standing there. They seem to know each other because their chat takes longer than it should and the girl has a shy, almost flirty smile on her face.

He probably fucks her.

You shake the thought off your head as the gangster comes back and sits in front of you. There's silence for a second as you wonder if you should just ask the questions that run free around your mind. "Are the rumours true?" You blurt out. He's raises a brow.

"About you. You know..."

"Do you want them to be true?" He asks back. "I don't...know," you reply. "Well, I think it depends on each person. If you want it to be true it is true, if you don't it isn't," he shrugs, leaning back in his chair. "Why don't you just give me a straight answer?" you snap. He smirks as if he's having fun but doesn't reply, watching you with his arms crossed. You roll your your eyes, blowing out an exasperated breath. "You know, I haven't seen one like you. Willingly hanging out with dangerous people, going to dangerous places. You say you saw me kill someone yet you're here. You're almost desperate to get in trouble," he observes. "I'm not desperate to get in trouble. I just...I'm just- attracted to you alright?" This is so embarrassing. You need to shut your mouth. "You've been on my mind ever since that night. I wanna see exactly how deep I'm into you." You bite your lip.

That's enough. You will boost his ego through the roof like this.

Seungcheol studies you for a bit before grinning cockily, "Well, if you didn't know, I am trouble baby. Just you being with me might end you up in a mess." Before you can reply, your food is served, that same girl from the booth setting down your plates and looking at Seungcheol for a bit too long with that same stupid smile which he returns. You don't know why but you feel jealous, jealous of whatever these two share, whatever she has with him.

You've lost your mind at this point. You're on a high that is Seungcheol. He has made you forget your morals, made you completely lose your mind. Or maybe you've been too good all your life and seeing him brought out that crazy, thrill seeking part of yourself.

Silently you dig into your food and as Seungcheol said, the food is really good. This is one of the best meatloaf you've ever had and you can't help but moan. Seungcheol watches you with an amused smile before popping a fry in his mouth.

"What's your major?" Seungcheol asks out of the blue.

"Uh- sociology."

"Mmhmm."

You're about to ask him what he studied in college but you assume he probably never went to one so you seal your lips. You wonder what his background is and who his parents are but you don't want to get too personal on the first day. So you ask something else, "How old are you?" He laughs out loud before he deadpans, "Thirty five." "What!" You almost choke.

There's no way he's-

"Why? What did you expect?"

"I... I don't know! A few years older than me? You're kidding right? You don't look thirty five." He has to be bluffing. "And how old would you be?" "You shouldn't ask a woman her age," you try to make a point. "Don't you have any manners?" He smirks,"I don't, sweetheart. To answer your question, I'm twenty eight."

Uh huh.

"Well, I'm twenty one," you mutter under your breath. You don't know if he hears it because he doesn't give any reaction, busy twirling a fry in sauce. The rest of your meal is full of silence as you wonder if your date will end like this; dry and boring. He's awfully silent and seems to be lost in thoughts as he doesn't engage in a conversation. You're about to take your last bite when the silence is broken by him.

"What did you see that night?" He leans over, his elbows resting on the table as he suddenly regards you with a sombre look, his earlier cockiness vanished. His eyes have once again gone dark and his demeanor says he's not being superficial right now. You're caught off guard as you cough loudly, reaching for your glass to take a sip of water. "What?"

"You heard me. What did you see that night? Exactly how much did you see?" He repeats. You're confused. You thought he didn't care about it. He said it didn't matter. So why is he bringing it up now? You've worked hard to push that night in the deepest part of your brain, pretending it didn't happen.

And then suddenly it clicks.

"You!" You point an accusatory finger at him as you catch on to his plan. "You've agreed to go out with me so that you can find out what I saw that night!" Seungcheol groans, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Ugh, just fucking tell me!" He snaps, annoyed that you've found out his little scheme. You scoff, "I thought you said you didn't care? Besides it's not like I'm going to tell the police." He rolls his eyes and leans back into the couch. "Just tell me and let me go."

You're baffled. His actions didn't make any sense and you actually thought he had no other intentions behind dating you but holy shit this sneaky bastard. "You sly little asshole!" You hiss at him. "Call me that once more and you'll regret it." He threatens. You roll your eyes sagging back into your seat, "Whatever." Then an idea hits you. "You know what, I'll tell you exactly how much I saw that night." You have Seungcheol's full attention now as he stares intensely at you, waiting for your next words. "On our third date. When this whole deal is over, I'll tell you. But in return you'll have to keep your promise and take me out on two more dates."

"Oh fucking hell," he groans rubbing his face in frustration. His state makes you smirk and you feel accomplished.

Choi Seungcheol is stressed because of you.

What a day to be alive.

You murmur, "Besides this isn't even a proper date. This was more like an interrogation. But I'll go easy on you and won't make you redo this date." You give him a sweet smile and he sees red. You can literally see fury blaze in his eyes. "Whatever!" He yells and abruptly stands up. "I don't have time for this. Your stupid play date is over. I'm dropping you home."

Before you can reply, he's marching towards the door. You've to admit this wasn't the best date but at least you've trapped Choi Seungcheol.

-

It has been a good week after your so called date at the diner and you haven't heard from him. You expected him to call or text you since he was gracious enough to ask for your number but he didn't. You now realize it was a mistake to not get his number; you had asked him for his when he took yours but being the prick he is he denied to hand over his number to you. You should have forced him to, you sigh. As you sit in the library the ping of your mobile distracts you from your racing thoughts as you realize you have a message. Picking the device up you tap on the notification. Even though it was from an unknown number, you have no trouble figuring out who it is from. A smile graces your lips as you read the words over again.

I'll pick you up from your house tomorrow evening at six.

That's all it says and that is good enough to send a thrum of excitement throughout your body.

-

You have not held back in dressing up today and you realize it's been a long time since you've dolled up yourself. A long before the clock strikes 6 you are ready; dressed in a cute pastel top and a matching skirt. You've also went ahead and applied makeup, not too much but just enough to maybe catch his eye. Maybe.

You wonder what he has planned for today.

A text from Seungcheol saying he's here has you flying out of your apartment as fast as your feet can carry your desperate self to see him. He stands in front of your apartment with his convertible, dressed in a white jacket that matched his pants. You take a deep breath before walking towards him, trying to calm all your nerves down.

"You know I expected to hear from you earlier. I've been waiting all week," you voice makes his head turn around to meet your eyes as you are skipping towards him with a teasing smile in your face. "I've been busy," he shrugs coolly, his eyes going over your whole body, from your legs to your face. He doesn't hide that he's taking a good look at you, in fact does it unashamedly.

You wonder if he likes what he sees.

Someone dressed up today," he comments. "Too bad we aren't going to a place where you can show off your pretty clothes." You frown, "Where are we going?" Seungcheol holds open the door, a mischievous smile on his face. "I've decided to grant your wish." With a confused face you get inside the car, the gears in your head running. What does he mean?

"I'm taking you to an underground fighting ring," he says with smirk as he reaches for something behind his seat. He pulls out a large hoodie and tosses it towards you, "Put this on. Otherwise you are going to attract a lot of attention and you don't want that." You gulp, taking the hoodie and putting it on you. You're slightly embarrassed. You were so excited to try this outfit but it's not like you knew he was taking you to a fight club. Hell you would have dressed like a guy if you knew. You shrug on the hoodie and it falls almost to your knees but it's huge and comfy and most importantly it smells like him. There's a hint of cologne, nothing too strong; a subtle, expensive scent that makes you want to take a deeper sniff. You wonder if you can keep this with you.

Stop it, pervert.

Seungcheol's voice pulls you out of your haze, "You can take it off later. Just wear it until we're out of there," he says and brings the engine to life.

Then you actually think about it. Underground fighting ring? Holy shit. You were only kidding when you mentioned it. Admittedly, you're shocked, somewhat horrified. Everyone knows it isn't the best place to be at especially for someone like you who never had such an experience. Seungcheol must have seen your expression because the smile on his face gets bigger, "Why? You not up for it?" His voice is teasing.

He's challenging you.

Oh well.

"Of course I'm up for it," you square your shoulders, keeping your voice cool. "Bring it on."

-

Seungcheol leads you into a bar and then through a door at the back that leads down to a lot of stairs, reaching a place similar to an underground parking lot. Quietly you follow Seungcheol, staying as close to him as possible, your bodies occasionally touching. He leads you to a pair of double doors and from the other side you can hear men shouting and chanting.

This is it, I guess.

Seungcheol throws one more smile at you before pushing open the doors as you scramble to follow him closely. The sight that greets you something you only see in movies. There's a boxing ring where two people are throwing punches at each other and surrounding them from all sides is a wild, loud and excited crowd. They continue to cheer loudly as the two men in the ring continue to box and you hear their grunts and groans.

Holy shit.

Swallowing your eyes meet Seungcheol's who is regarding you with curiosity. "What do you think?" He has to speak loudly for you to hear over the screaming throng. "Uh... It's loud," you say dumbly as you try to think of a reply. But it's too loud for you to even think properly as you take in your unfamiliar surroundings. You see a tall man approaching towards you and out of reflex you shuffle closer to Seungcheol until you realize it's his friend. The guy from the first night. He and Seungcheol grin at each other, patting their backs as they talk close to each others ears. You gawk at them curiously and realize they must be talking about you because his friend takes curious glances at you occasionally. His friend is tall, really tall and well built but unlike his body his face is sweet and puppy like, almost cute. When he grins his canines pop up just like a puppy and you wonder if all his friends are good looking.

After he's done chatting with his friend Seungcheol pulls you close and says, "This is my friend. Mingyu. Always stay near him, you hear me? Don't stray away unless you wanna get hurt." His eyes are stern as he pins you down with his stare but you have other thoughts running in your head.

"What do you mean? Where are you going?" You yell over the noise.

He just smirks at you and starts taking his jacket off. "About time you see how we do it around here." His tone is cocky as he hands his jacket to you, "Hold this for me. And stay close to him."

Giving a look at Mingyu Seungcheol starts walking away towards a door that you're guessing is the changing room.

He's gonna fight.

"Wait- but-" Mingyu stops you with a hand on your shoulder and offers you a kind smile. "It's fine. Just stay with me." He then ushers you towards the crowd, spotting a place where you can get a good look at the ring. "Do you guys do this often?" You look up at Mingyu. He smiles sheepishly, "Not me. I tried a few times and I always end up beaten to a pulp. But hyung does this often, he's really good."

"Uh huh, I'm sure he is," you smile dryly. "This is your first time watching a fight, no?" "Definitely." He grins, "Watch carefully then. It's really fun."

You have your doubts on how watching people beat each other up can be fun but you don't comment anything, instead chew on your lip anxiously. Seungcheol really didn't have to go this far? What if he gets hurt badly? Is he trying to impress you?

Don't flatter yourself, your subconscious rolls her eyes.

As the loud cheering that had died down ensues again, your train of thoughts are halted as you see Seungcheol in shorts and his hands covered in boxing gloves, step into the ring. You can't help but ogle at his naked torso, his finely defined and chiseled muscles. He has the perfect body, not too bulky, not too lean just the right amount that gives you a hard time taking your eyes off him. He seems to have noticed your gaze because the second your eyes meet, he throws a haughty, knowing smirk at you. Embarrassed you avert your gaze elsewhere.

His opponent is a muscular man who's growling and banging his chest with his fists, a gesture of intimidation, you suppose. You are definitely intimidated and you wonder if Seungcheol can actually win against him.

The fight starts with a whistle and in mere seconds they are on to each other, throwing punches left and right. Your eyes have a hard time keeping up with them and their fast reflexes and your hands fly to your mouth as a punch lands on Seungcheol's face, followed by repeated blows as Seungcheol falls back. There's a moment of silence as he wipes his bottom lip and you realize there's a cut.

He tilts his neck, popping the bones and glaring at the other man before launching himself on top of his opponent. The next moments are a blurry mess, Seungcheol beating the guy repeatedly until he ends up on the floor but he doesn't stop there. Seungcheol ends it with a sharp jab to his spine and you have no doubt the other man has broken bones with the ways he howls in pain. The match comes to an end like that as the people cheer wildly while Seungcheol steps down from the stage. Mingyu grins at you happily as if what you witnessed was just a regular occurrence, something you should be cheerful about. Shaking your head at the situation, you let out a deflated sigh.

Their life is really so different than yours.

-

Seungcheol seems to be in a very good mood after the fight as he buys you both some sandwiches and drinks from a deli after you both step out of the bar. You both sit down at a park nearby to eat and watch the night sky. "You know, I thought you were gonna lose," you speak after taking a few bites of the sandwich. Seungcheol scoffs, "You underestimate me, sweetheart. I've been doing this for a long time."

"Do you enjoy it?" You ask quietly, focused on peeling the wrapper from your food. You feel Seungcheol's stare on you. "Yes. Why? Are you scared already?"

"No. I was just... curious. Your definition and my definition of fun is totally different." You murmur. "Of course. What did you think? I go to the mall and shop and watch movies with my friends when I'm bored?" His tone is sarcastic. You bite your lip. "No I didn't. It's just...I feels different now that I have experienced it first hand." Seungcheol offers nothing more, taking a sip of his coke and leaning back into the bench. A silence stretches between the both of except the rustling of the wrapper of your food. "How long have you been doing this?" You blurt out. He frowns at you and you don't expect him to answer but he surprises you.

"For a long time."

He doesn't offer anymore and you don't have the heart to prod him for an actual answer. "And how long do you plan on doing this?"

"What?"

"I mean... don't you have any other plans. Like...do you wanna keep doing what you are doing for the rest of your life? Don't you wanna like... settle down maybe?" Your voice is soft as if you are talking to a child. Seungcheol looks annoyed. He doesn't speak for a while as he stares at the ground, a frown etched to his face. You're about to take back your question when he replies, "I really don't think you understand. I've been trying to tell you that my life is completely disparate to yours. So I don't think like you. I don't have plans like you but neither am I expected to follow a certain pattern like you. I can do whatever the fuck I want, ___. So don't look at me like you pity me. I'm the last person here that should be pitied. " His tone is sharp and it makes you feel bad, like a sensation of needles pricking your heart. "I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry," You whisper, feeling timid as you look down at your lap. He mutters, "Don't go poking your nose in other people's business. Specially people like me."

He's right. You shouldn't have asked that. You are not close enough to ask things like that. After that there is a silence, this time, an awkward one. There's palpable tension in the air and you feel jittery. Should you just ask him to take you home?

It's still early and truth be told, you don't want to leave him just yet. You only have one more date to go and judging by his reaction, he is in no way interested in a relationship. You heave out a long sigh. You knew very well what you were getting into, yet you couldn't stop yourself. Seungcheol is like a poison, the sweetest one, the one that has you addicted and unable to let go, no matter how much it hurts.

This is a fucking mess.

"Let's get going. I have plans," Seungcheol announces, standing up. You want to protest but you feel like you have ruined the mood, so you follow him mutely to his car.

The drive to your house is awfully quiet, to the point you want to scream out of frustration. Seungcheol seems to be lost in his head as he makes no move to talk. It's like you are alone, but you're not and it's worse, the air full of tension. Soon you have reached your house and he stops the car but keeps the engine rolling, indicating his rush. He keeps still and stares ahead while gripping the steering wheel as you step out of the car in silence. "Thanks for dropping me home," you say lamely, your voice meek. You turn around to walk away but his voice stops you in your tracks.

"I promised you three dates and I will keep my word. I expect you to keep yours, ___. I hope you will tell me what I want to hear when we meet next time." His tone is sharp with an edge of threat and you barely get to nod before he drives away.

It's not until you're inside your apartment that you realize you still have his hoodie on. Quickly fishing out your phone you type out a text.

I'm sorry, I forgot to return your hoodie.

After a while, his reply comes.

Keep it.

-

You watch Katelyn as she fills her lunch tray with food before walking over and taking a seat opposite to you. She looks extra radiant today, which probably has something to do with the way she's dressed; a bright colourful outfit which undoubtedly she put a lot of time into considering. She has a date, with a guy she has been talking to for the last few weeks. It reminds you of your pitiful situation and you sigh, trying to shrug off those thoughts.

It has been a good couple weeks since you last saw Seungcheol and you have not exchanged a word after that night. In the back of your mind you wonder if he is even alive. You want to message him, you really want to because you are going crazy but after how your last date ended, you can't bring yourself to. You are scared, exactly of what, you can't put your finger into.

The entire situation you have put yourself into is fucking scary. They say you become sure of your feelings after three dates but it did not take that much for you. You already are very certain about your feelings for him and how deep they run exactly and you also know that in the end you will be left scarred. He would never be yours. He has probably forgotten about you or decided that it is not worth another date to figure out what you saw that night.

You let a desperate, pitiable sigh.

"I know you are hiding things from me but I understand that you are not ready to talk yet. But I want you to know I am here for you okay?" Katelyn's voice makes you blink your way out of your thoughts. She squeezes your hand tightly and gives you a reassuring smile and you're left feeling guilty.

"I ...I will tell you. Soon. Just give me a bit more time," you whisper. She nods in understanding. A grateful smile touches your lips as her words make you emotional. Then there's a ping from your phone letting you know there's a message. Without giving it much thought you open the device and your eyes go wide.

I'll take you out for dinner tomorrow night. Wear something formal.

-

You wait outside your apartment for Seungcheol. Your day has passed by in a flurry of excitement and nerves as you carefully picked your outfit and did your hair and makeup. A soft baby pink dress that stopped just above you knees adorns you as your hair rests just above your neck in a loose bun.

You are fiddling with your fingers as you think about how this night is gonna end and wether you will ever see him again when a car screech that grabs your attention.

Seungcheol's convertible has taken a stop in front of you and you see the man getting out the vehicle and take big steps towards you.

You're mesmerized.

Perhaps there is not enough word in this world to describe his looks or perhaps you've simple lost the ability to speak; either way, you just stand and stare, drinking the godly man that stands in front of you. He looks delectable, completely flawless and agonizingly gorgeous in his sharp black suit and pants, with a silk black shirt underneath, the top couple buttons undone that reveals a beautiful porcelain skin. His hairstyle completes the look, parted to one side in a sleek way and showing his forehead and oh god is it sexy. You realize you have a forehead kink, if there is anything as such.

If you weren't in love with him before you are now.

He looks ravishing, and you wonder why it isn't illegal to look this good. It should be because you have completely lost control over yourself. Nothing exists in your world except for him and you feel paralyzed, unable to do anything but drink him in. You wonder if you are even worthy to stand beside him.

"____?" Seungcheol calls you, snapping his fingers in front of your eyes. He must have been calling you while you were eye fucking him. "Oh! Um, hi." You're flustered. "You- you look really, really nice." It isn't enough but it's what you can get past your lips. A knowing smirk kisses his lips before he teases, "Well, you look really, really nice too." Motioning you to his car he says, "Shall we? We'll be late for our reservation."

"Yeah, of course," you say, hurrying over to his car, embarasssed at your foolery. Seungcheol must have noticed you ogling him like that. But you don't really care when he looks like that. It is his fault for looking so devilishly handsome and idly you wonder if he did that on purpose. If he's deliberately teasing with, trying to make you the most miserable before letting you go with a slap of reality to your face. Pushing away those plagueing thoughts, you sit up straight and clear your throat as Seungcheol comes to sit beside you and brings the engine to life.

A decently long and quiet (except for the music from the radio) but not quite uncomfortable car ride later, Seungcheol stops in front of a really fancy and expensive looking restaurant just by the sea. You did not except him to take you to a high end restaurant, otherwise you would have put some more effort in your looks.

Feeling slightly out of place you quietly follow Seungcheol into the beautiful European styled building after he hands his keys to a valet. The interior is dripping with polished furnitures and extravagant chandeliers and marble floors as guests dressed elegantly have their dinner. As you look around the place in awe Seungcheol talks to the receptionist who then guides you towards a staircase that leads to a pair of large double doors decorated with gold which then, opens to a large balcony. In the middle of it sits a table with two chairs and an unceremonious gasp escapes your mouth as you realize this is where you will be having dinner.

The man from earlier takes his leave as Seungcheol helps you sit down before taking a seat for himself while you take in everything, overwhelmed with all your surroundings. Why did he put so much effort for a lousy and fake date?

"What do you think?" He asks with a smirk as he rests one of his elbows on the table.

"I'm overwhelmed," you reply quietly, honestly. He chuckles, "Well this place has really good food and a fantastic view so I thought it wouldn't bad for our last date."

Last date.

"It's really beautiful. I don't know why you did this but thank you, really," you murmur, eyes on the satin table cloth with intricate golden lining. Everything about this place is so pretty.

"Well, I decided it would be beneficial for me to extract words from you if you are wooed," his words have a teasing tone to it and his demeanor is completely different from last time, giving you a whiplash but you are not sure if he's fully joking. Before you can say that you are definitely wooed, a waiter appears to take your order and you leave the duty of ordering to Seungcheol since he seems to frequent this place. Prior to his leave, the waiter pours you Seungcheol's champagne of choice and then, you two are alone once more.

Reaching for the flute, you quickly gulp down the champagne to soothe your dry throat and to calm all your nerves.

Over dinner you talk about your uni and your parents back home and the farm they own. While Seungcheol mostly keeps quiet he doesn't ignore you but listens carefully, occasionally passing glances your way or commenting. He does not offer anything about him, which you expected and you don't ask any questions about him either. Instead you try your best to keep his interest in your words despite the lack of it from his side.

After a hearty meal of poached lobsters and wagyu beefs and creamy soups comes dessert; a chocolate orange mousse with spiced fruits and yogurt sorbet. You start eating your dessert in silence, the occasional crashing of waves filling the complete lack of sounds.

This location is truly magnificent and breathtaking, almost having a feel like you're in a fancy resort in a luxurious tropical island. It is undoubtedly the most beautiful place you have ever been, let alone have dinner at and you wonder if you would ever have the chance to visit some place like this had you not met Seungcheol. The man in question, continues eating quietly, seemingly lost in his thoughts. He looks lovely as always, if not more and you try to burn this image in your mind for you to look back at later. You want to ask him so many question, you want to tell him so many things but you're scared. Sacred if you do so this moment will break, scared it will annoy him and end your final date all too early. So you bite your tongue and finish your food as he does and after your plates are cleared away, you are served another expensive champagne as an end to your luxurious dinner.

Even though Seungcheol doesn't say anything, you assume it is time to spill the beans, to say what he has been wanting to hear from the beginning. You have teased him enough and it is time you give him what he deserves. Taking a deep breath, you open your mouth. "Me and Katelyn heard noises from the playground that night so we decided to check. It was pretty dark and we were tipsy but I recognized you and you were... beating someone up. We stayed there and watched until one of us accidentally made some noise. We were scared that you heard us so we ran. That's all that happened."

You have Seungcheol's full attention now as he listens cautiously, his sharp eyes trained on you. Gulping, you clench your hands together underneath the table, waiting for his reaction. There seems to be an eternity of silence as Seungcheol simply stares at you as if he's debating whether your words are true or not. It's torturous, awfully agonizing and when you can't bear it anymore you're about to speak but he beats you to it.

"I didn't kill him." His voice is quiet. You let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding. Somewhere in the back of your mind you believed it, you believed he wouldn't be cruel enough to kill someone just like that and as soon as he speaks those words you believe him, without a doubt, without a second of delay.

"I believe you." You whisper, holding his gaze. "That asshole deserved what he got. He shouldn't even be alive but I let him go. He's in a hospital now, if you are wondering." You nod quietly. It's scary how much you believe him, how much you trust him even though he is pretty much a stranger.

There's a moment of silence as you bask in his presence before he speaks, "____, men like me, we aren't the nicest people. But we are needed, the cops need us around. People like me do the dirty works for people like you so y'all don't face troubles. We do things in an unconventional way but that's just who we are. We aren't as bad as the rumours say but we definitely aren't someone you should be with." You open your mouth to protest but his sharp gaze makes you stop. "If you have not understood it yet, let me say it out loud. I am trouble. People like me is always bad news. Whatever we did until now, I hope you forget. That's the best, ____ trust me. I think we both got what we wanted so let's call it a night." Just like that, he stands up, not waiting for your reply.

You gawk at him, baffled as he pays the bill and starts walking away. Tears burn the back of your eyes and you bite your lip to hold them back. The ending that you had expected has taken place but you are having a hard time accepting it. Your subconscious reminds you that you deliberately got yourself into this even though you saw this coming. So there is no one to blame for it but you. Grabbing your purse, you stomp your way out of the restaurant and towards Seungcheol's car.

Seungcheol barely acknowledges you as you both get in the car and he presses the key to the ignition. You are fuming in your seat, his words and the way he dismissed you cutting you deep. His words come to you, I think we both got what we wanted. You want to laugh. How can he possibly think that? Is he really so stupid or is he deliberately ignoring your interest in him? You want to smack his perfect face, curse and scream at him but all you can do is sit still with your arms crossed as steam comes out of your head. Is he really not curious about your feelings? Does he possess none for you? Does these few days with you mean nothing to him? You have so many unanswered questions. Leaning back into your seat, you close your eyes and let out a frustrated sigh.

It feels like in the blink of an eye the drive to your place is over as Seungcheol halts his car in front of your apartment. He does not utter a single word, doesn't even spare a glance at you while patiently waiting for you to get out of the car.

Asshole.

You inhale deeply, trying your best to gather yourself together as you take off your seatbelt and turn towards him.

"Seungcheol?" Few seconds pass before he looks at you. Words are stuck in your throat. When your eyes meet his, you become mute, overwhelmed with emotions as your words die in your tongue. He keeps staring at you, not opening his mouth but waiting for you to speak. "Is this goodbye?" Your voice breaks.

"I believe we don't have any reason to see each other. We both got what we wanted," He says without batting an eye. You're left bemused, one step away from landing a slap on his face. How dare he say that?

"Do you really believe that?" Your words come out as an accusation. "I wanted to go out with you because I thought I have feelings for you! And I do! And my feelings have only increased since I first saw you. I want to see you again, Seungcheol. You may have gotten what you wanted but I didn't." Your fades into a whisper as tears burn the back of your eyes.

Seungcheol stays quiet, staring ahead, his brows knitted as if he's annoyed. "I promised you three dates, ____. And I gave you that. It's over. Your feelings? You'll get over them. It's better to be in pain for a while that be with someone like me."

"You can't say that! I get to decide for myself!"

"____," he sighs, rubbing his temples. "I'm a bad man. You should leave while you still have a good image of me. You'll get hurt because of me and I've caused enough pain to enough people. Just...go. Just forget me." You stare at him as frustrated tears roll down your cheeks. He doesn't meet your gaze but turns his head the other way. You are angry, infuriated and heart broken all at a time. Clenching your fists you inhale a shaky breath before reaching for him.

Before you can chicken out, you tilt his face towards you and quickly press your lips against his. Seungcheol seems to be shocked as a small gasp leaves his mouth but you don't let him push you away. Instead one of your hands come to rest on his thigh as he other cups his face to keep his mouth against yours. You kiss him with all you have left, pouring in every bit of passion and love for him as your tongues intertwine. By the time you are both breathless, Seungcheol gently pushes you back and peers into your eyes. "That's all I can give you, ____." He says, his voice the softest you have heard. You are broken into a million pieces and as much as your heart wants to cling to him, you suddenly feel tired, deflated like a popped balloon. Your emotions have drained you out and left nothing and right now, breathing almost seems too painful for you. Taciturnly, you grab your purse and step out the convertible. You hear another door shut behind you but you don't look back as your heavy steps carry you to the entrance of your building. When you are about to enter your apartment, you accumulate all your strength and courage to spare one final glance at him.

Turning around you see Seungcheol standing by his car, hands in his pockets, simply watching you. Even though your eyes are locked on each other, you don't see any emotion in them. He looks like the same expressionless, mysterious man you saw the first day. The man you fell in love with. Taking in his gorgeous features one last time, you bite your lip and turn away, forcing yourself to walk inside your apartment building.

Your chapter with Seungcheol ends here.

Epilogue

A/N : Okay so idk why this fucking app is being like this but it says I reached the maximum of 250 blocks but I thought tum1r didn't have a word limit?? Anyway so I've decided to break it up and put the rest of the fic in another post. Please click epilogue to read that.

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