#like it really is sad what that kind of mental policing can do to you
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pro-sipper · 7 months ago
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is it okay to be a shotacon(to fictional characters only) despite being around 12-15 yourself Σ(っ °Д °;)っ
i feel guilty to be thinking dirty thoughts about characters i like that are my age (12-15) (┬┬﹏┬┬)
i really cant control my own thoughts huhu .·´¯`(>▂<)´¯`·.
There's nothing wrong with having those feelings about people your own age. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with having those feelings towards fictional characters. It's normal to feel those things at that age, and there's not anything to feel guilty about.
Hope you make peace with it, nonny!
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flippinpancakes64 · 7 months ago
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could you write the cullen's being jealous??
The Cullens being Jealous
Thank you so much for requesting and I hope you enjoy this!
Also I mentioned it in my last post but I know not everybody would have seen it because I didn't put as many tags, so I'll say it again.
My requests are open!!!!! Please request, I'm bored :(
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Edward:
I feel like he would get jealous pretty easy
Like he can hear everybody's thoughts
He already knows if someone starts expressing interest in you before they can even do anything
But the most he would do in that scenario is maybe keep you a little farther away from that person
You know like moving your seat in class so you're closer to him and farther from them
Walking different ways to class to avoid them
Stuff like that
He wouldn't say anything to you or to them
Now if they act on it?
Completely different story
No matter your gender, physical appearance, race, literally anything, the second you guys start dating everyone knows it
So for someone to know that you guys are dating and still try something?
He is seeing red
It doesn't matter what the other person did
A flirty note, asking you on a date, literally touching your fingers while they hand you something
All of it's the same to Edward
If it wasn't your fault or you weren't reciprocal, it's very likely that you wouldn't even know anything happened
To you, Edward just stepped away for a moment at lunch
But in reality he cornered the poor, stupid person and not-so-nicely told them to never even look at you again or they were gonna be dead
But if he sees something that you did as meaning that you were into it?
The same thing happens to the other person
And he sits down to have a talk with you
Maybe he only heard about what happened and didn't get to read your mind as it was happening
Or maybe he can't read your mind for some reason
Just explain to him that he's the only one for you
And let him read your mind if he can to let him know that you mean it
Overall he's very protective and pretty prone to jealousy
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Alice:
I don't really see her as the jealous type
She has that mentality of "they come home with me every night so it doesn't matter what other people do"
Like she's got you already
And she doesn't ever see you cheating
So she's not worried
The only time that she would get jealous is if you show a liking to human nature
AKA anything that she can't give you
If you mention something about someone's hand being so warm or mention having a sleepover with someone she gets a bit jealous
The sad type
It just reminds her that she can't be everything for you
If you're a human it's even worse
She knows that she's cold
She knows she can't sleep
She knows that she'll never be able to enjoy your favorite foods with you
It just hurts to be reminded of it
But she's also not the type to stew in it
She will tell you straight-up if something is bothering her
She won't ask you to never make comments like that ever again
Obviously that's not really something that can be controlled
But she just wants you to know why she's a little more down than usual today
"Oh nothing, I was just reminded that I'm not human"
Please give her so many kisses and tell you that you love her no matter what
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Jasper:
I can already tell I'm gonna get carried away
Jasper in my mind 🤝 angst
He gets so jealous
But again it's the sad kind
He's not perfect
He's not human
And he's not good for you
The fact that you agreed to date him at all is still a wonder to him
So he's very sensitive to seeing you with other people at all
He knows that you have friends obviously and that you can't be with him 24/7
But when he sees you and your lab partner laughing and making jokes, when he sees one of your oldest friends leaning way too close, when he finds a note shoved in between your papers, it gets to be too much
It just reminds him of how many better options there are for you
He wouldn't say anything to the person making moves on you
He knows that it would definitely end up in a police report and the Cullens needing to move again
But I feel like he would take some time to talk to you
He would take a while to psych himself up though
Maybe a few practice convos with Alice
And a threat from Rosalie that she is going to take matters into her own hands if he doesn't say anything
He would be very open about what's bothering him
He doesn't like keeping secrets from you
So he would tell you about how he felt seeing the way someone acted with you
The type of emotions they were feeling
And how it was bothering him
He would accept all of your explanations that the person was just a friend, or that you don't feel that way
But I feel like what he would really need is some intense reassurance that you do want to be dating him
And that you love him
Aww so sweet
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Rosalie:
Yeah she doesn't get jealous
She's a bad bitch
She's hot
And she knows that you love her
It doesn't matter if some nobody from your highschool starts hitting on you
Because there's no way they have a chance with you
And she knows that
Because guaranteed you are a bad bitch too
The only time that really any reaction would come from her is if somebody physically hits on you and makes you uncomfortable
And it's not jealousy it is full protective rage
Like how dare someone touch her SO and think they can get away with it
A note or two, maybe some longing glances she can get past
But harassing for a date, pressuring you for your number, or even making physical advancements that you are not okay with?
Yeah suddenly they wake up the next day with a broken arm
And she goes full exposé
If they sent you any nudes they are getting leaked to the school
She doesn't play around like that
Fuck around and find out
But she will never be jealous of some losers trying to take what's not theirs
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Emmett:
He's also not really one to get jealous
In fact he kinda likes the opportunities
Like if some guy is hitting on you he LOVES being able to sneak up and go
"Babe is this guy bothering you?"
And then the dude just turns around and sees this 6 foot something 300 pounds of pure muscle dude standing there
He loves it
He does get a bit annoyed though
Like if there's one person that keeps sending you notes, asking you on dates, trying to sit next to you in class, he gets frustrated
He offers to beat them up
To get them to leave you alone of course not because it's annoying him
Even if you say not to he's still gonna do it
He's like a 50's gangster waiting in an alleyway for the person to show up
He doesn't physically beat them up
Yet
If the person persists after his "stern talk" their ass gets jumped
And he will always deny it if you ask him
Oh well :)
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Esme:
I feel like she might be a bit insecure about being one of the "normal" ones
She doesn't have any special powers
And she didn't have any particularly strong characteristics that manifested themselves when she turned
In her mind she's just a little "blah"
So I feel like she would get jealous easy
But it wouldn't have an opportunity to present itself as much
She wouldn't get jealous over most humans
And since she spends most of her time in the house, she doesn't even get to see you out and about interacting with people all that often
So I feel like the moments in which her jealousy makes itself known would be when other vampires are in the area
Especially if they're vegetarians
And ESPECIALLY if they're gifted
It was her actual waking nightmare when all of the vampires were collected to protect Renesmee
(Not that she really had time to be worrying about that but yk)
The only other time I could see her getting jealous would be if you two were out and about together and someone started hitting on you
And even then she would only tell you about it after the person left
"I can't believe they were flirting with you while I am literally right here" "...are you jealous?" "...no..."
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Carlisle:
This is a man who is secure in his relationship
He trusts you completely because he knows that you trust him completely
SO many people flirt with him at the clinic (I don't blame them I would too tbh) (actually no I wouldn't I'm too scared to do that)
He knows that people find him attractive
And he knows that people find you attractive because how could they not
But he has full faith in you
And he is very transparent
He tells you all of his stories from the day when he comes home from work
"This woman came in today with a broken foot, like completely turned around, bone showing and everything. And she still looked at me and asked for my number! And then she passed out..."
He thinks it's funny
Because he would never, not in a million years, even CONSIDER cheating
The only thing would be if you're describing an interaction you had and you don't sound completely put-off by it or if he finds that you kept a note someone gave you that was very clearly flirtatious
He, once again, does not let it stew, though
He directly asks about it
Prying into the details of how you feel about this person and why you talked the way you did/kept the note they gave
I can't imagine anyone cheating on him tho so just tell him the truth that you didn't mean it that way or just forgot to throw the note away
He still fully trusts you tho
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Vampire! Bella:
She sort of has the same problem as Esme
In her mind she still thinks of herself as the boring, plain-looking girl who just blended in
She doesn't consider herself to be anything special
So when she sees you talking to someone else, maybe laughing a bit too hard at someone's joke, or even hanging out with someone, she gets super jealous
I am sad to say though that she does immediately jump to conclusions
She gets sad for a bit but then immediately she flies into accusations
Asking you what you were doing with that person, if you want to break up with her, if she's not good enough, if you already cheated on her
It gets a bit exhausting after a while
I feel like this would be a genuine problem
Once she met Edward, she basically left all of her friends
So she has a little bit of a skewed idea of what a relationship is supposed to be like
I mean you can't entirely blame her
Her only other experience with a relationship was complete obsession
So she thinks your relationship should be the same
You just need to tell her that
That most normal people in relationships do actually have friends
She'll get it at some point... maybe
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arsquare · 1 month ago
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Merry Tanabemas @desfraisespartout! Here's a picture of Miguel and Robin getting birdmarried to fill your Robin x Bat wish!
Thoughts under cut
As to how the relationship is in this scenario... hm... I think Robin and Bat eventually get married post canon for political reasons. In my complex postcanon worldbuilding marriage isn't an institution that birdmen really participate in, and while you can have a ceremony, being married confers no additional rights to you. Most rights are either rights of an individual, or rights of a flock.
This is more of a show for the humans: marriage is something they understand. I don't think the stain on Miguel's reputation as "violent" will ever really go away, and he becomes the face of the negative stereotype of birdmen in the public consciousness.
Robin's faction obviously never even considered something like this, but as new birdmen and flocks began to pop up around the States, some began to spread rhetoric that birdmen as a whole should just abandon the violent and uncontrollable beasts like Miguel to the police entirely. When this thought persisted to a point that it was actively damaging efforts to unify birdmen in the US, Robin and Alva (it was mostly Alva tbh) made the decision to stage this wedding as a show of unity, that birdmen would not abandon their abused or mentally unstable members.
Robin, after all, is the face of the good birdman; she was the one in the photoshoots, who made the speech at in Washington DC, who was respectable in all ways. Their marriage is essentially Robin putting her stamp of approval on what Bat represents. Did it work? For the most part, yes, but there remains a small but conservative faction of birdmen who still kind of think those violent Latino birdmen are fucking it up for the rest of us even if they don't say it out loud. Sad but unfortunate.
To be totally honest Miguel had no say in this. Alva and Robin decided this on their own and kind of dropped it on him during one of their meetings and he couldn't really do anything about it (not that he really objected... it's not like he was in love with someone already, it's just. you know. shocking. I don't think he's someone who ever had marriage on his radar because his own parents' marriage ended badly)
But I do think Miguel and Robin have a special connection... Rooster of course also knew Arthur before he died but I think he looked up to Arthur more as a mentor. Miguel and Robin both treated Arthur as their leader so they still kind of had him on a pedestal, but I think both of them loved Arthur in the same way. This I think is the crux of what Robin and Miguel's relationship means to me. There's nobody else who understands my love. It isn't for you. But you're the only one who gets it.
I don't think they particularly WANT anything from each other in the relationship, either; they don't particularly want to be loved, or even feel that they deserve to be loved. They love each other as one might love a grave, because it was proof that the one who left had been there and it had all been real. Robin leverages the entirety of her political power to stand by Bat. He takes a bullet for her. They leave room for Jesus when they dance. And when they cross the dance floor you can see the Arthur-shaped negative space between them.
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onlymurdersintheafterparty · 4 months ago
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OMITB S4:E8 "Lifeboat"
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This episode was really interesting. More questions answered and even more created now that we know what went on with the Westies. Given all the theories out there the ending wasn't too surprising but I do wonder how all of this will be explained in the final episode. At this point I don't have many theories left I'm just waiting on the denouement. All in all I enjoyed it. Spoilers ahead!
I can't believe Dudenoff's death was that simple. I'm not even going to lie I just found the whole thing so sad. He was lonely and grieving his wife and then created a found family that he loved so much he wanted to protect them even in death. Poor Helga who was so scared and convinced that someone did something to him. What I don't understand though is why they called her the wrong kind of Westie and scratched her face out in the picture. They acted like she was a villain or something when all she was trying to do was figure out what happened to Dudenoff. There was a theory on the subreddit that Helga was the one giving Sazz information and now it's confirmed so this is a new turn of events. I'm with Mabel on not ratting them out but with Dudenoff confirmed to be dead how are they going to continue this rent scheme? The police know so the jig is up. Or is this reveal just so that the trio would sympathize with them and not rat them out to the police?
Glen being the stuntman that Sazz was referring to still feels like a red herring to me. We know that he is mentally unwell because of the hallucinated rats but I still don't think he's our killer. I'm thinking Glen is part of the group that killed Sazz and the mastermind shot him to keep him from confessing or it's as simple as the common theory that Marshall is the killer and shot him because he recognized him outside of his disguise. With Glen being in a coma we probably won't learn either outcome until the season finale or the very end of the next episode. Sazz said that this stuntman messed up badly and would be the death of her. She's dead and he's in a coma so she was right but the fact that he was shot means that some sort of cover up is in place for whatever it is that he did and whoever else knows it.
The Westies showing up and waving a knife and everyone just going along with it is so wild to me. It was 6 against 5 and I know Rudy is fit but surely they could have still held their own. It makes sense they didn't react though because they needed the confession. Rudy doing the entire monologue and everyone progressively getting emotionally drained was so funny. Zach has had the funniest quotes this season and I hope someone does a video edit including them all.
Charles really needs therapy when the case is solved because the way he's unraveling and doesn't even know how to process his anger is so sad to watch. Eugene better be careful what he wishes for because when Charles fully snaps and lets all his anger out it's not going to be pretty. I wouldn't be surprised if upon learning who killed Sazz he attacks them (not fatally) and has a full breakdown.
Every week I see the same theory that Loretta will die and I'm starting to get scared this may actually happen. I get them being sentimental about The Arconia but it's full of so much death I can't believe that they would plan their wedding there. Oliver has lost so much and Charles just lost his best friend so do you think the writers will really go there? Maybe it will be a bridesmaid or someone else in the bridal or groom party who is killed. I just feel like instead of killing her off they can just write out her character by saying that she and Oliver travel back and forth to see each other and that explains why she's not onscreen. They've been making it work now so no need to take such a dark route.
I'm so excited for the last two episodes and to see how this all plays out. The Westies never confirmed that it was them sending the letters or bugging the apartments so the mastermind is still out there waiting. This also means that there must be another murder that has gone unnoticed. On a recent youtube video, Matt & Jess TV mentioned Charles' quote in the pilot about the bodies buried in the back of a 14 story building as well as Marv mentioning the Sixth Street Slasher so it looks like there's still a cold case to solve.
And to wrap this all up I just have one question: WHERE IS THEO?
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crazy-pages · 8 months ago
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People like you showing Biden and other democrats that even genocide won’t stop you from voting for them, no matter what, have destroyed this country.
Fucking genocide apologist.
Okay I'm gonna rag on you for a moment because you're dropping anon-hate and anon-hate always deserves that, but then can we talk seriously?
First of all, lol, this is hopelessly optimistic of you to think that Biden's loss would change the mentality of the Democratic party when Hillary Clinton's loss didn't. It makes me look fondly back on my childhood when I was fresh-faced and naive enough to believe that a presidential loss could change the trajectory of a political party whose election officials, party apparatus members, and most of their elected officials will remain unchanged regardless of the outcome of a presidential election. I know you think you're a cynic kid, but trust me you have levels deeper to dig. Get on my level.
But to move past ragging on you and to speak seriously-
Sometimes, there is no winning move in an election.
Let's talk about an issue a bit more abstract than genocide first. I would really like the United States' business system to function more in line with socialist principles, where holding any sort of position of authority over others in a company requires the voluntary and democratic buy-in of those they oversee. I think unions don't go far enough, I want business executives to be elected and constrained in their actions by internally enforced constitutions.
And there is no elected official I could vote for to make that happen. They do not exist. But I can make decisions about which elected official will be easier to organize under, to get closer to making that happen. Who's going to be easier to fight? I'm not talking about voting for someone I think can be pressured into giving me what I want, I'm talking about someone who will simply be less hostile to organizing efforts. Sometimes that's as simple as "which state officials will let me have a graduate student union at all in this state?" and sometimes it's a question of what Supreme Court precedent I expect to be set by a president's judges, and which will be easier to fight later through other non-voting actions.
So here's the horrible, awful, sad truth I have for you.
There is no voting option for USA citizens, including non-participation, which will save the Palestinians in the Gaza Strip. We can hope for protests to continue to erode support and keep the issue in focus, we can use our financial positions to donate aid (as much as is allowed through), hell those of us with access can perform sabotage. But there is no voting option which will affect whether the genocide is permitted to continue by our officials, because this is a two-party oligarchy, not a genuine full democracy.
There is no voting option which will influence the long-term trajectory of the Democrats or the Republicans and whether they continue to be the kind of parties which will support genocide either. Neither is there a no voting or third party voting option which will replace either of them.
If you want that to happen, you're going to need to do organizing and disruptive actions outside the voting system. Maybe if we form enough connections at pro-Palestine protests, do enough organizing work, we can mimic the March on Washington and show up at Washington DC with a hundred thousand people and the implicit threat of "we are capable of putting this many people in the capitol, do not make us come back here". (It worked to get the Voting Rights Act passed).
But that organizing will not occur independent of our voting political system. Obviously not, Biden has been happy to give his seal of approval to police violence against pro-Palestine protests. But Trump's response to the Portland protests was worse. Much worse. He sent in federal troops who were even more violent than the college crackdowns and who black-bagged random people off the street to intimidate protestors, without even the fig-leaf of legal justification the college crackdowns have used (which is scary because it opens the door for even further escalation).
If you want to continue organizing outside the voting system, who is voted in is going to matter for that organizing. Biden is making it difficult, but it can be worse.
Also, Trump is going to make things much worse for a lot of different demographics, who will have much less available bandwidth to help with pro-Palestine organizing. One of my close friends is a trans woman living in California and right now she can and does help with the pro-Palestine movement. But if Trump is elected and passes federal anti-trans laws, that's not going to be possible for her anymore. She'll have to hunker down and go into defensive survival mode, just for the right to exist.
I know this probably sounds like me being derisive and saying, "Ohh, you're a single issue voter about genocide, tch, how naive!". But it's not. It's the practical reality of organizing. People who can commit hard, on the level necessary to affect change outside the voting system for people on the other side of the planet, are not people who are desperate and barely surviving. People who can help are people who are in a position to help others. And if Trump gets elected, a lot of people are suddenly not going to be in a position to help anyone but themselves, if even that.
As an extreme example, when Hitler came to power in Germany, well before the Holocaust got underway, he successfully killed socialist organizing in Germany. But not just because he was directly targeting them with police and the army. The previous regime had been doing that too and they hadn't successfully killed German socialism (hell they'd slaughtered socialists with cops after the socialists saved the freaking government from a coup, they were certainly no allies of socialism). But Hitler, by targeting Jews and disabled people and Romani and queer folk directly, hit populations who otherwise represented possible socialist allies. He made them hunker down and focus on purely self-defense, which allowed him to fully clean up socialist opposition before turning on minority demographics with the full force of the Holocaust.
Direct police violence against political opposition (what Biden has to offer) is less effective than that and a prejudicial campaign of dehumanization and oppression against demographic groups aligned with political opposition (what Trump has to offer).
If there's no voting option which will free Palestine (and there isn't), ask yourself the next question then. Is there a voting option which will free up people to help fight for Palestine's freedom?
If there is, and you're honestly more concerned about Palestinians than your own feeling of moral gratification, take it. Vote, get it over with, and then go back to doing the actual damn work.
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helpallthenamesaretaken · 1 year ago
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EPISODE 6 (just realised no one is asking me to do this too bad) spoilers for series up ahead
ITS NOT A MUSICAL EPISODE 😭
Disney was too broke to show us the animals in the zoo truck WHYY
why am i so happy for the second seaweed brain, man the things being a pjo fan does to you
The way you could see luke’s smile drop when they say that they found the lightning thief (:) —> :/)
The way luke didn’t even let them finish he was like “CLARISSE YES CLARISSE SHE MUST BE THE ROBBER”
No one’s talking about “Chiron should arrest her” Not the mental image of chiron holding a gun saying “ANY WORD CAN AND WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU IN COURT” while clarisse is pushed into a police car lollll
Old married couple im falling out of my chair plsssss if luke did something right in his life it was this
i love annabeth’s face like she knew this was coming the older brother-sister dynamic is POPPING
Disney really needed a way to show that grover liked animals and had convos with them without actually showing them lol
cue the “omg animals are so elegant” speech which served nothing at all
WHATS THE POINT OF ZEBRA TO VEGAS IF THERE AIN’T NO ZEBRA MR HOUSE OF MOUSE????
Idk but i kind of miss the trio action so far this show has only been percabeth + grover instead of percy + annabeth + grover you can tell they’re focusing more on fan service and developing percabeth than developing the more important dynamics which are the three of them having fun
oh HELLO RANDOM CAMEL WHO ISNT EVEN A ZEBRA BUT WHATEVER
“You are two seconds ahead of meeee” the simp eyes the simp eyes
The lotus casino from the outside is so COOL
LEVITATING BY DUA LIPA (some of yall still stuck in poker face era so im leaving it at that)
WISE GIRL I REPEAT WE GOT WISE GIRL (i was honestly expecting it to sound super corny on screen but walker pulled it off like he always does)
look im so mad about the fact that there’s no montage of them being silly little kids and having fun at arcade games. It hits so hard since percy has never afforded to visit fun places, annabeth has never left camp so is absolutely thriving with her architect games, grover is hunting down humans which was so funny and cool and they decided to make it more serious and plot centred
”ill take percy this way” WHY CAN’T GROVER TAKE PERCY THAT WAY HUH ANNABETH? 🤨 (girl just say you want to spend time with him)(and disney say you just wanna write more percabeth scenes)
I love the ‘if you dont know, i dont know either 😄’ mentality that percy has, he knows annabeth wants to be in charge now so he’s just feeding into the hubris
The augustus plot was so weird ngl but it was a great way to introduce the pan stuff
“Biaannncaaaaa biancaaaaaa” NICCOOOOOOO
He sounds so little and innocent and cute 🥺 im so sad now
GROVERRRRRR REMEMBERRRRRR
i gotta say, i guess that i was taken away by the people making fun of lin manuel miranda, but his acting was really really good
We got some may castellan exposition early
Percy thinking that the only thing he could do to sally was hurting her 🥹
i really hope they talk about that later on, you know we love some angst around here (especially with the dreams of the headmaster which was from the books!!! I was thinking that they’d cut it! But they didnt!! But it speaks volumes about percy that he has nightmares of headmasters)
I WANT ANNABETH FLASHBACK ANGST
annabeth pickpocketing the god of thieves will forever be her girlbossiest moment
”Im multitalented” percy: 😍💙🥰🥹 🤩(walker’s acting be that amazing is it not obvious by now that percy likes annabeth)
“Who’s grover ☺️?” “Wait, i know grover 😅!” Walker is cementing himself in the percy throne every single episode
”wow grover got really old😃”
“you lose sight of what’s important when you’re alone” “we weren’t alone 🥰” poor grover
The eons long wait to see how percy was hugging while falling the way down is finally over
The way that you can see percy’s empathy shining through his eyes as grover talked about pan>>>> (honestly tho, hug!)
the way they focused on percy’s reaction, i know this is going to be something he brings up as a reason for him to sacrifice himself for hades
Percy and annabeth looking at grover like “ ok mr. 24 DRIVE US”
Percy trying to drive a car will forever be cinema and comedy peak
The road rage this child has its so funny BEEP BEEP
annabeth: 😁 percy: 🥹 *cutely crashes car and almost kills her* PERCY IS TRULY GIVING A LOSER BOY WHO HAS NEVER HAD A GIRL LOOK AT HIM AND THATS SO PERCY OF HIM
the heartbreak in percy’s eyes alexa play the moment i knew by taylor swift
Four pearls?? *cue that one meme where that girl is calculating*
the way my smile faded when i saw annabeth hanging over the cliff TOO SOON RICK TOO SOON
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stanleyvampire14 · 11 months ago
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Hi! To clear up some confusion because multiple people keep asking me this; “Who is the Emerson family?” Or at least a member of them TW FOR MENTIONS OF DEATH AND SEMI-VIOLENT SCENES
Let’s start with Mr. Emerson himself! John Emerson!
John is a policeman that usually either gets stationed in the neighborhood he lives in, or he goes around patrolling other neighborhoods in the town. He’s been in the police business for a while (years) and he likes doing it! He loves helping people! However he does have a side to him that can and will kill you (or at least seriously injure you) if you hurt the people he cares about, mainly his family. His immune system isn’t very great and he gets sick a lot around the flu season, which kinda sucks, but he refuses to not go to work, which kind of worries Mary (and Ryder as well). It’ll get to the point where Mary forces him to stay in bed, she will literally wrap him in a blanket to make him stay. He is very loyal (COUGH COUGH. @lord-of-the-bundle-of-sticks @todds-diary @that-fruitier-emo) and we love him for that. He taught Ryder basic manners and to actually respect women, despite most fathers at the time not caring about the latter, which is why Ryder is so insistent on teaching that to the other kids (island kids and daycare kids). Ryder really looks up to him, even after the island, although he’s more subtle about it after the island because he’s more reserved in general. Overall a great guy, I’d talk to him about my problems and he’d hug me as I rambled.
Next is Mrs. Emerson, Mary Emerson!
She is a saint I swear…and pretty…Beautiful even…Anyways! She’s a daycare worker, she made her own daycare because the others in the area kinda sucked in her opinion (discrimination issues among various types of people + “what about the poor people with children :( we have to help them somehow”) she will literally give discounts near the holidays please go to her daycare. Literally the most comforting person aside from Ryder himself. She doesn’t care who you are (and she might know who you ARE before you realize, in Ryder’s case…🏳️‍🌈) she will be there for you, it doesn’t matter how hard you breakdown, she will find a way to comfort you. She says that she doesn’t have a favorite child in the daycare, but she definitely does (it’s technically Ryder but he works with her so he doesn’t count) nobody knows who it is and the kids try to play guessing games, and everytime she leaves the room to do something, the children repeatedly ask Ryder who’s the favorite and he doesn’t know either, but he says that he likes Klaus a lot (@lord-of-the-bundle-of-sticks oc) and Ira (will reveal all of the daycare children soon enough, also Ira is they/them). She taught Ryder how to cook and somehow Ryder surpassed her skills in cooking, but Ryder always says she’s better, because he IS a mama’s boy and he can’t bring himself to make his mum sad ever. I just wanna hug her and melt hhgfssmhgh….Oh I love her so…💚💚💚 She’s my wife but also not-
Lastly, my favorite little guy (he is 16, he is not little) Ryder Emerson!
Despite what all the kids think, he’s not actually an angel, he does typical teenager stuff (sneaking out at night, occasionally drinking because of Lust, and rotting in his room for months after the island! Y’know, totally usual behavior for teens please don’t rot in your rooms that’s bad for your mental health) and he might’ve indirectly caused a few deaths on the island, but we aren’t talking about that- He scarred Gluttony because he killed Sloth and Ryder obviously didn’t like that he bit Jack and Maurice out of self defense, and he might’ve smacked Roger on the head on the island at least twice…He got tired of them eventually. I swear he’s overall a good person, that island just really messed him up mentally and physically. In the fight between Jack and Ralph at the end, Ryder ended up getting scars from Maurice because Maurice slashed him with his spear, meaning to stab him (it was Jack’s command and Maurice was kind of a little gone). Speaking of the Merridew kid, he and Ryder are therapy partners/friends together due to their therapist thinking that exposed therapy would be a good thing for them, which it kind of was. Ryder got so much better after talking to everyone that survived on the island, even though he still feels iffy with some of them (Ralph, Roger, Maurice, Samneric all technically betrayed him in some way). His relationships with the sins (also @lord-of-the-bundle-of-sticks ocs) got so much better, although Gluttony’s was…Not good for a while, they eventually forgave each other in their own way, I’d like to say it started here, which I believe would take place a couple months after they got off the island: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52156768/chapters/131921551
Thank you for listening to my rambling, if you did.
Have a gallery of them, I really do love them…💙💚🩷 (I accidentally made it a timeline of events, oops)
This post was mostly for @cve-th3mvsic , but I hope this clears some questions up! ^_^
I will be linking this on my pinned post, just in case it gets lost in the massive amounts of posts I reblog and such.
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uncloseted · 14 days ago
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What do you think happened to cook after killing dr. Foster? Do the police know that he killed him or what do you think? If the police did, i think that they would look for motive and find freddie's bloody clothes. So i think that its strange that effy doesn't know that freddie was killed or that cook killed her doctor. Or do you think that cook is on the run just for doing that? Its so complicated and im so sad that we didn't get to see if everyone gets to know about or no.
Is there any confirmed information about this? I'm always thinking about this when I rewatch skins or see some skins edits
Based on Skins Rise, Cook has been on the run since the end of series 4, but I think that's because he escaped from jail (???) rather than because he killed Foster. If Cook was smart enough to dispose of Foster's body, it's possible that the police never found out what happened, especially because it seems like Foster didn't have a ton of people in his life. And even if Foster's body was found, I don't think there's really any way that the police would be able to prove that Cook did it, although I imagine he might have been wanted for questioning. I do hope that Cook at least told Freddie's family what happened or returned his body to them.
There isn't any confirmed information about what happened or who knows what. Kaya has said that she doesn't think Effy knows what happened to Freddie, and I think that makes sense based on the kind of person that she is in series 7. But that doesn't necessarily mean that nobody knows - I can imagine that after Effy was hospitalized in series 4, the people around her might feel like telling her anything difficult or disturbing would destroy her mental health for good.
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glitter-stained · 27 days ago
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Dude when I was in the adolescent psych ward one of the staff members called a teenage girl a whore to her face and she threw a chair at them. I get that throwing a chair isn’t an ideal response but I can’t blame her and I hope it hurt them. That definitely isn’t the biggest or only reason I am skeptical of the whole field but it is the simplest example of why a bad therapist is worse than no therapist. You can’t blame someone who has been through that kind of casual routine mistreatment (by someone who knows all their deepest vulnerabilities) for deciding to say any lie that gets them free and never cooperate with doctors again. It’s not that the whole industry is bad but a lot of people can’t make themselves run through that minefield again.
I hope it broke their nose 🥰
I totally get it, I've had a couple of fucked up ones myself, there's so much work to do in the structure itself it's exhausting (though in my country at least i wouldn't say it's an industry since there's public healthcare...) But yeah psychophobia does spread around like a disease around the infrastructures it's terrible. And I totally agree that a bad therapist is worse than no therapist, some of those ideas are harmful as fuck -that's why I'm so bitchy about psychoanalysis for example, it can be at least a space to vent for people who need a place to talk and be listened to but with disorders such as ocd autism schizophrenia or ptsd this bullshit is dangerous as fuck. I totally understand getting fed up and losing faith in the system (I mean, my girlfriend is antipsych, I've heard the arguments and I understand completely.) It's also really sad and infuriating because I've seen many patients for whom it went great and it saved their lives (like, people tell you that, there's a continuity sometimes about the impact you can have on someone's life), and knowing that some asshole moron who couldn't keep their stigma in check and act with basic human decency traumatized people so bad they couldn't get those resources they would have needed to get better, it's just so fucking unfair (also why conversion therapy is fundamentally evil, fuck this shit, if I meet a conversion therapist it's on sight.)
The more we work to deconstruct psychophobia in our societies, the more impact it has on mistreatment of mentally ill people, both from healthcare staff and institutions in general. It's exhausting work that's probably not gonna be fixed in my lifetime, but I dare to be cautiously optimistic about therapists in my country (as the old ones retire, more and more new young therapists get taught about psychophobia, decide to reject psychoanalysis, we talk about it more and more and there are formations we didn't have access to before...) I'm far from as optimistic wrt to nurses and doctors, but with therapists at least I'm hopeful for this country. I'm afraid this is probably not the case for every country in the world though tbh idk what's going on everywhere I heard some places they have to call the police if you're suicidal? What the fuck is even going on. That's just absurd.)
Anyway, the system is incredibly flawed, and even with all the work it's gonna continue to be flawed and not enough as long as we live a capitalist society that evaluates human worth on profit. Mental healthcare is always gonna be using a bucket to throw out the leaking water in a pierced hull ship to keep it from sinking.
Personally, I have to believe that it's better than nothing, and with a lot of work and deconstruction as a community we can wrangle the discrimination that leads to abuse in those institutions, and I have to believe that it's worth it when I see all the people it has helped; but I understand the weariness, and I could never fault you for losing trust in it.
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rubbishmor · 4 months ago
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One direction used to be my favourite band.
Liam was my favourite member.
He remained as my favourite solo artist among the boys after the hiatus.
When Teardrop got released earlier this year I never thought it'd be the last song we get from Liam. I still remember listening to it on loop, hoping that he will get better and come back with a new album. I loved the song so much.
And now, the sudden realisation of 'this really is the end' hits too hard.
I remembered those afternoons many years ago, when I watched 1d music videos again and again in my room. The boys were laughing, splashing water onto each other's face. They were the definition of youth and happiness themselves. They were innocence and sunshine. I miss them just like I miss the 2010s, my 2010s.
Years later I found myself in the UK. I've been to some places where they filmed their mvs. I walked on the night streets in London and thought about the nights they sang on top of the open air double decker as it drove around the whole city.
London is too old a city for any building to have changed through the decade. But there's no band called one direction to be found around the same places any more.
I know the old times will never come back, just like the boys would never come back and be the same as before. But I always thought future can be anything. They were all so young when it started, so I naturally believed that one day the boys will get back together and share the stage again, and that would be the time they laugh and chat about all the things they did in the past.
How could it not be?
Liam's death is like shattering the most beautiful memory into pieces, the sharp edges brutally cut through my skin. It hurts. It bleeds. It shouts the painful truth out too cruelly. And as blood slowly spreaded on the floor, we eventually came to the end, to the realisation that we really can never get back any more.
I barely experienced the same level of mental pain he must have come through. But I knew it's a terrible feeling to not be able to be good enough myself. Even these days, a few days before his death more news and comments critisised him, I still can't develop any hate. He used to always be the kind and caring one. He used to be the one speaking for the group. He did charity. He was always kind to his fans. He loved being a good person and he wanted to be loved as a good person too. How could I possibly hate him?
When I saw Liam's name trending on Wednesday night I clicked the name thinking okay what did he do this time?
The heartbroken feeling was what eventually came to me. At the very beginning it was just pure shock. I felt like I suddenly don't understand english words anymore.
I simply can't blame him for anything. I can't be like those ones saying bad things like 'it's his fault he must have taken drugs'. They said it that easily, making it almost like he deserved to die. I'm just sad for the boy smiling and singing many years ago. He used to light up my day, make my eyes shine bright when I look at them. I'm so sorry he didn't grow up happily, so sad because he became the victim of a terrible industry. He was the one who started the first line in What Makes You Beautiful, he finished the last line in History in their last group performance. They sang in their lyrics, they could be the greatest team that the world has ever seen, they said that it was not the end, that they could make some more, could live forever. This really is not how it is supposed to end.
The police said they found anxiety medicine in the hotel room. They said he was completely clean before. They talked about him being dropped by the label and the album he couldn't finish. They suspected that he might not be conscious at all when he fell.
Had he thought about dying one day, would he still have chosen this career? Was he regretful when he talked in an interview about the struggles he almost could not make it to the day? Had he thought about not waking up from the mess the next day any more? Was music his last hope when he talked about the past suicidal thoughts? I almost found myself hoping that he had never fully recovered from the depressing thoughts - if a tiniest part of this nightmare was something he had ever thought about doing, would it make this tragedy a bit less pitiful? Because I would be too heartbroken if he suffered from all the bad things and didn't give up his hope, only to be coldly killed by fate in the end.
But his girlfriend shared that in his personal notes he was planning a proposal. Other artists he used to collaborate with shared recordings of their unreleased music. People from various organisations talked about the donation he made. Some I didn't even know as a fan. Everyone mentioning how kind and charming a person he was and it makes my heart break now that he was gone and his future forever lost to the void.
In the end I still felt lucky to have people telling me it's Ok to feel sad for someone I've never seen, grateful to have my friends who weren't fan to check on me and see if I'm alright. I felt being loved and I wish Liam could as well see how much he was loved after his death.
I will miss him. I will miss the shyly smiling boy with his curly hair, the worldwide famous lad with the 4 arrow shaped tatoos on his arm, the solo artist who created Sunshine, Polaroid and Live Forever, his jumping while singing along the song, body vibing to the rythm, the careful, gentle start of One Thing, like the heart fluttering of the first love, hesitant asking in the bridge of I Would, and husky, deep voice in Drag Me Down, right to the beat.
I wish in a different universe, the boys achieved their dreams in the end. I wish they did everything they loved and became the people they wanted to be. I wish the story ended with a happy ever after. Maybe in that universe, there are still dinosaurs alive, and people never invented spoons.
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doukeshi-kun · 2 years ago
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honestly, imo, the BSD fandom needs more dark content. Like, the premise itself is basically a seinen, and all the characters (with the exception of about 2-3 characters) are all extremely mentally ill or really messed up in the head. The fandom always waters down the characters into either "uwu shy soft boy who can't do anything by themselves", or "sad boi who had sad past :(", and it's kind of a. what. moment. I mean, I understand the appeal, but maybe it's because I like reading fics (and writing for that matter) where the character is as close as it can be to the cannonical character, so usually its kinda a pet peeve of mine esp in the bsd community when everyone hates that kind of content. cause like. the characters themselves are dark. they're not light-hearted characters, they're fucked up for a reason.
so tldr; thank you for giving us the dark content that was very lacking
i think nowadays the fandom doesn't really reduce the characters to one characterization only (except for mori. poor that guy). or maybe it's just me blocking and muting accounts hdgshshs my bsdtwt is quite centred on japanese fanartists and jujutsu kaisen. i don't really find bsdtwt in my timeline unless i follow one or two.
i understand well about your opinion. i think dark content in this fandom are still going around and there are a lot of people who enjoy it. in tumblr and ao3, at least. let's not talk about bsdtwt or bsdtok lol
idk whether dark content in bsd fandom is lacking or not, but probably.. they are? i rarely see dark content fic nowadays here in bsdxreader tumblr. and i dont really go that tag so much anyway😶but here's the thing, some people here are quick to police someone who likes to write or read dark content, going as far to report the fic. you can't even thirst for mori w/o being called a pedo apologist. when yk, block button is there for a function. do these trolls never block people? yall never get followed and bombarded by pornbots? must be so nice bcs there's a lot of pretty ladies liking my posts😔👎
i've seen a few trolls policing writers on what they could write or not. to the point of harassing them in their inbox. like, if you (in general. not YOU as in you, anon. you get me yeh👏) prefer dubcon than noncon, then it's fine! it's your cup of tea. it's your tea, so put and control how many sugar and milk you want in your tea. but that doesn't mean you can police and control and tell people what they should write. if you want to control how much the writer can write, maybe, pay them???💀 the fact that majority of darkcon writers are tagging their fics as 'dark content' or 'dead dove' is already showing that they know the thing they write is very not right/good in real life.
tldr; don't be an idiot and use the block button instead of harassing people
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magnumdays · 2 years ago
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Magnum PI 5.10 ‘Charlie Foxtrot’ review
So lots of stuff happened and at the same time not that much stuff happened. Some rapid fire thoughts.
(spoilers...obviously)
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We did get some Miggy heart eyes... never gets old!
For me I think the first 5 minutes and the last 5 minutes were the best.
I liked it but also preferred the season 4 ‘Higgy spy adventures - MI6 don’t care about you...I do’ mid season finale to this (I mean there was the x-mas one too but plot-wise it was the spy episode that was the season finale right?). Like IDK, more emotional impact in that one was better?
Maybe Magnum should have been the one that got snatched or shot here. Just saying.
Poor Cade! Like even though TC is the one that got shot and paralysed (:O) I feel worse for our poor baby Cade!
RIP Childs, you were just starting to grow on me. No funeral? Is that going to be the start of 5.11? Or do we just not care enough about Childs for there to be one?
Very little Miggy in this one, even if soft + banter was cute, I feel like it was a pretty quick flip from kind of feel-y end of 5.09 to start of 5.10 which was all banter though really was meant to be like what? half an hour apart?
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(Magnum being domestic and making Higgy food (or hot milk) and stuff has been like the running theme of this season and I want to nominate him for some boyfriend of the year award. Not just for the cooking but, you know, a little bit for that.)
(Higgy just keeps on going - seriously she was drugged and had crazy wacky nightmares like a few hours ago? This girl can not catch a break.)
Why is it so hard to make a villain still scary after learning their motives/backstories? 
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Anyways...
Higgy sharing recipes from childhood, Magnum being all ‘you’ve had a rough day, how about we take a break (from watching news stories about the lady who tried to kill you and totally drugged you up a few hours ago’ and stuff’ is adorable. We almost got the “why does Higgy not drink tea” story which now is a story I must know. Like come on! It’s almost as enticing as maybe one day learning what her tattoo is...
Juliet looking out the guest house window and noticing commandos - you cannot tell me that was legit not her worst fear coming true - and then our faves being all badass (that flip!), very much a good start.
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Then, because I’d somehow gotten it into my head we were going to have ‘Robin’s Nest under siege’ for like a good chunk of the episode, I felt a little bummed out. Because I wanted like hostage, drama, no police, gang vs, baddies. But I didn’t get that.
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Now, other than the fact that Rick is the person we’re looking for and TC is in the hospital, this case feels weirdly like just a normal case.
Don’t get me wrong, I liked it, but somehow it lacked a little of the ‘wow shocking! thrilling! excitement’ I’d hoped for in the mid-season finale. Maybe-just maybe because we kind of know Magnum, Higgins, Rick and TC and even Gordy and Kumu probably with 99% certainty aren’t going to die.
Which is nice.
But it also makes them being in danger less scary than for example say Cade had been taken or Suzy or even Childs (if he’d not gotten blown up.) Why Beth or Dennis being in danger is scarier than Rick. Because they could die. There is actual bad things that could happen.
I think that’s why Higgy in the mental hospital still felt scary and had lots of potential, because we knew she was going to be alive - we just wasn’t sure what kind of messed up visions, drugs, weird electro shock stuff that could have happened to her, right?
So I am kind of excited to see what they do with TC not being able to feel his feet/being paralyzed. Because you know, that is scary stuff, and super duper emotional and scaring to go through (good thing he rigged the chopper for Shammy to fly!)
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Bad guy (well gal) of the season instantly became less badass when she became an actual person, which is sad. If that was her backstory of falling for a terrorist, dead child or just how not scary she felt IDK. I just felt a little sad for her.
Did it all also go kind of fast?
Fast can be good, it means it’s entertaining enough the 42 minutes flew by fast. But it also maybe means it was a little unmemorable. Which I think is what this episode ended up being for me.
Also random small question - would anyone ever get found or saved or stuff figured out without Higgy’s hacking skills? Just you know, asking for a friend...
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(I’ve also been watching some K-dramas lately and IDK, I guess I wanted more melodrama and more cute-y feels and angsty accidental car accidents and evil CEO father figures than I got...)
Depressing for my Miggy heart, that this episode failed to really deal with Higgins ‘I’m scared Mangum will die’ worries and I doubt we’ll get it next “season”. Rather brought up Magnum’s worry about the gang maybe being broken up if TC or Rick didn’t pull through. Just because he said that and Rick made the video, I almost wondered if they would kill of Rick.
So when they didn’t it felt a little bland.
Mean of me to say, but that would have been pretty interesting and brave of them to do. Kill Rick I mean.
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Like that would have been something! Suzy getting that video and it would also maybe be a “ahah” moment for Magnum, making him feel a little of what Juliet have been feeling with Richard and why she’s so worried. It could have gotten us a Miggy ‘I love you’ moment too, because though we know our two idiots love each other they haven’t said it yet.
Yeah, Rick’s death would have made for character development everyone too, going forward. Like maybe suddenly super over protective Magnum in the B part of the season? TC being suddenly a sad boi and not himself and struggling with a depression sort of thing, freaking Cade out, making him consider moving with his family on the mainland, making it worse. Higgy feeling like she failed the guys and Suzy because she was too focused on Magnum’s safety. Suzy could just be a big mess and we could have Miggy babysitting moments? But it’d be sad because Rick is dead... So much potential for angst and stuff.
Whatever. I’m not considering writing a fic where Rick died. I’m really not.
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Anyways, I did like the ending with Cade and Higgy talking a lot. Higgy somehow being her normal ‘feelings?what are those’ while at the same time really saying awesome and uplifting things and just all around being the new spokes person for Happy Endings... 
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They guys all joining up and it feeling pretty hopeful was nice too. It was a nice place to end it, because while I got some angst and worries about the TC recovery plot, he’s alive and kicking and got his friends. And he’s TC! Come on, he’s going to big bear his way back to running after bad guys in no time. And if he don’t, he still awesome!
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(Though what happened to TC’s girl? Is she not his girl anymore? Did I miss something? Maybe she’ll show up in part B of the season!)
Yeah, over all I enjoyed the episode, but it did not feel super-duper much like a midseason finale. I’d also like to inform everyone that it’s 132 days until September 3rd. So basically forever! How will we ever survive!? I guess we do have some pretty epic Miggy fluff and content to re-watch...
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Anyone know when we’ll know anything about season 6? 
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boxx-sama · 1 year ago
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Mahiru and Heaven: A Small Analysis
CW: Mentions of Suicidal Thoughts/Ideation
Mahiru really did emphasize fate in a lot of her interrogation questions, huh? She even goes as far as to say this:
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What do you think happens when people die?
They go to Heaven!
Heaven is definitely a place welcoming the souls of the dead. Not only that, but the mere premise of Heaven existing in the first place is definitely an implication that everyone’s fate is to die once their life withers away.
According to this website, Heaven can be described as many things:
The Bible affirms that heaven, defined as “the place where God dwells,” does indeed exist. In the Bible, the term heaven generally refers to areas beyond the earth. These areas can be the air, outer space, or the realm of God (often called the “highest heaven”).
But now that Mahiru’s boyfriend has presumably, you know, “gone to Heaven”, is she so sad because she wants to join him there? Wherever he may be…
She did say that she can’t live without love. After the one she lost died, I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s just seeing herself in that kind of light right now. Especially considering her mental health deteriorating…
Oh yeah, there are apparently two known paths to Heaven, sourcing from the Bible.
The first path is called “the righteousness based on law.” Verse 5 says, “For Moses wrote about the righteousness that is based on the law, that the person who does the commandments shall live by them.” The righteousness based on law is the path of good works. This is the person who works hard, tries to live a good life and earn their way into God’s presence. (Source: here)
Hm… where have we heard Mahiru mention hardworking people before?
Es: I’m your prison guard. Even if I have an aversion to something or if there’s something I can’t understand, I won’t just hopelessly give up on you like that… Not until I’ve judged your sins, and decided on whether I forgive them or not.
Mahiru: [happy] Does that mean you’ll always keep your eyes on me? 
Es: What? Well, it’s my duty after all. 
Mahiru: [exclaims] 
Es: What is it? 
Mahiru: My heart skipped a beat. 
Es: Just what on earth are you saying? 
Mahiru: I… guess I love people who are so enthusiastic about their work. 
So Es is the hardworking person. I guess in the end, this isn’t a super important detail. And the person who has sinned will live by their condemnation… I think I’m connecting the dots here!
Saying I love you but doing what I did, I know I have no right, crossed and covered in sin
Yep… I don’t think it’s just her boyfriend she’s really referring to in general, but herself as well.
She thinks that if she were to die, she would most certainly meet her boyfriend. Poor Mahiru. ):
There is a high chance that she considered this in the past as well! Considering the location of her “murder”, the Aokigahara Forest, which is well-known for being the location of hundreds of attempted suicides. Especially lovers’ suicides. Wikipedia says this:
Aokigahara is sometimes referred to as the most popular site for suicide in Japan. In 2003, 105 bodies were found in the forest, exceeding the previous record of 78 in 2002. In 2010, the police recorded more than 200 people having attempted suicide in the forest, of whom 54 completed.
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Maybe Mahiru attempted suicide with her boyfriend, and she wasn’t the one who died in the process? The ratio of 200+ suicides to only 54 having gone through definitely says something. It also kind of doesn’t make sense to me that she wouldn’t have done that, in a way. Her trial one voice trailer line is:
“Is this… love? This is… love…!”
It is heavily implied that the lines take place after the characters have committed their crime. If Mahiru romanticized suicide that much… “together in death”, as they say.
And I have mentioned before, that Mahiru sees EVERYTHING that is shared as love. The death of another? That could definitely be romantic in her warped perspective…
All in all, Mahiru is not only (possibly) considering suicide yet again with her current mindset, but she does believe that she will meet her boyfriend in Heaven if she goes through with it.
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grumpybreakfastfriend · 10 months ago
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The discord screenshots are really not that damning, like esp the ones that people are posting from mid-late 2023 where he is legitimately -having- a mental health crisis. Weird af to me that people are using these screens of a r*pe survivor spiraling as some sort of gotcha.
How I see that "go defend me" stuff is that he was 15 years old when he went through the most horrific and brutal shit that i 100% think is way way worse than we will ever know, he saw so many faces in that court room on Brian's side and he felt completely and utterly alone, and then after Brian was put away, still barely anyone was on his side, people didn't believe him or even worse, blamed him. He was 15 going through all this -alone-, I don't agree with him doing this because it's not healthy but I understand the need to want to be defended, to want to be believed, people had been calling him a r*pist for 3 years and telling him that he was a p*do and he should off himself.
And during this time he was spiraling about all of this nobody knew that he was also dealing with the fact that all these memories about his trauma were coming back, I can't imagine how triggering shit got for him having to see that everyone everywhere was "against him" so to speak. I -get- that pain, I get that defensiveness, he was 15 and alone and in a lot of ways that hurt will never ever go away, not completely.
But now people know what happened to him and people are supporting him and on his side and it probably feels so validating and I get that too.
People claim to care about victims / survivors but I've seen a LOT of people attacking Alexa, Drake and anyone who shows them any kind of sympathy even if we are also pointing out that they are not perfect people, it feels like there's a checklist that people have to mark before they are "deserving" of sympathy, and if someone reacts to being abused like an abuse victim, such as Drake reacts in some of those messages, then they are deemed "unworthy" of sympathy and support.
It's really sad.
I do have a message for Drake and other survivors like him though, I know that need to be believed, to believe other people are on your side, and I want you to know that we are on your side and though I understand that urge / need to have people supporting you but you also need to take a step back and realize when things are out of line, talking to your discord like this and mobilizing them against attacks is not a healthy coping mechanism and I think it should be brought up in therapy. We do support you, but you also have to get to a point where it's okay if people aren't ever going to change their view on this, some people won't, just like the letter writers, some people will never come out and say it was wrong for them to support Brian Peck, and some of them will obviously be lying if they did, but thats the thing, you have to eventually be able to be "okay" with that.
My two cents? I don't think that Drake should be as involved w/ social media as he is because it can be antithetical to healing properly. My other two cents? I'm a r*pe survivor as well, and I can sympathize with his actions and outbursts in Discord because I have been in that headspace so many times, it's hard, but it's harder to be a survivor and have everyone police how we feel and how we're supposed to react to this.
People always bring up "there's no such thing as the perfect victim" but then they also hold survivors up to intense scrutiny when we ACT like we are traumatized and we lash out and we say stupid shit.
Thanks for sharing anon. This 100%.
The posts from 2023 are just sad to read. He's said in recent interviews how social media destroys his mental health and how he knows he needs to stop using it. But I understand the allure of finally having his story out there and wanting to read the (mostly) positive feedback, even though he'll inevitably come across hateful trolls. At least now he's in therapy and is hopefully working on healthier ways to navigate all of this attention.
I don't know what people even mean anymore when they say he has to take accountability. I think he's handling everything as well as he can and is trying to heal. But at this point a lot of people say "take accountability" when they actually seem to mean "shut up and stop acting traumatized". Also, fuck anybody who says this is some PR campaign. So what if he does want to get his career back? I hope he's able to thrive after this.
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fairy-switchblade · 11 months ago
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Another life update (quick but sad, tw: breakups, intrusive thoughts, su*c*dal ideation, and academic anxiety)
A note to those who are reading this who are worried, do not call the police, I am safe, those around me are safe, I have made no active plans. Thank you for looking out for others. Sorry for giving you a heart attack.
Now that’s out of the way. I went through a breakup recently, and I am single again. Since I’ve mentioned my butch a couple of times on this blog, it felt off not to say anything. However this happened a couple of weeks ago, I wanted to give myself a grace period to process everything.
The combined stressors of that happening, plus getting started on writing my masters dissertation, plus looking into PhD options and trying to access a pathway to study at Oxford (which I am fully aware is going to be a Goliath of a task despite my academic record, my area of interest is interdisciplinary and niche as all hell, also money) has lead to a mental health maelstrom.
I deal with intrusive thoughts on a daily basis. I also really struggle with having a healthy relationship with academics. My mindset since I decided to pursue this PhD has been “I must do this exact topic, and I must do it at Oxford, and I must do it in my 20s. If I do not manage to do this, I will commit su*c*de.” I quite literally can’t not succeed at this, life without it is a gaping void. I wish I was exaggerating. And it’s horrible, y’know, cause academia can be wonderful and exciting, and I love and am excited by what I study. The problem is that I love it so much, it kind of hurts. And if I can’t have it, I don’t know how I’m going to keep going, genuinely. That scares the hell out of me.
I wish I didn’t feel so much. I wish I didn’t always have to take things to extremes. I wish I wasn’t so intense. I wish I wasn’t always such an ‘all or nothing’ person. I wish I understood so many things. I wish I understood why I don’t feel good enough. I wish I understood why I can’t just try hard, I have to try my very hardest, at everything. And I wish I understood why when that fails, it feels like a kind of death. I wish I wasn’t as lonely. I wish that had less to do with being femme for me that it actually does. And it does, because performative femininity is just another thing I have to do perfectly. Whatever that means.
I’m sharing all of this not just because I’m an over-sharer generally, but because I have a gut feeling that someone else is also feel kind of ‘Betty Friedan’ this evening, and needs a mirror. And a hug. Please? I really need a hug.
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a-tad-bit-obsessed · 2 years ago
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I’m rewatching 2x01 in prep for the finale and noticed a bunch of stuff (some questions I still have, or things that only appear now after everything)
Why was Adam last seen by friends and family in Texas? Especially as his licence is New Jersey anyway suggesting he’s been there for some time?
I had completely forgot about Shauna and Jeff in Adam’s art studio
It still amuses me that it took 8 episodes for us to return to Misty killing Jessica Roberts
At least Taissa does actually say she hasn’t taken office up yet, this kind of explains why she has so much free time at the moment
I kind of want a whole chore chart by card
The police know that Shauna was with Adam, so the fact that in his art studio, there’s tonnes of paintings of a woman with the face scrubbed off with be very suspicious
Did Misty really not care about musicals before Crystal
You know, if I had to ask the show runners one question, it wouldn’t be about he mythos or the antler queen, but instead about Nat’s hair
I would love to know how the conversation in the cult went of Lottie telling her people to kidnap Natalie as it seems like this is a one off
Wait the Jeff car scene was episode 1?
Love how Taissa had mentally divorced Simone as early as season 1, calling the smelling the jumper as some ‘sad ass divorce shit’
Callie wearing a blue and white striped jumper when that pattern is something I really relate to Jackie
How on Earth was Lisa’s hand not more injured
I love Tai and Van so much and their inevitable explosion with wreck me (this was said at the time, but is still very true).
I wonder if Van’s thoughts of Other Taissa not being Tai but just something that happens to her is still what she thinks? (I can’t remember if we ever get an update to this)
(There’s also just something about Can leaning back with a smile after writing on Tai, arms behind their head)
And not only do Van and Taissa mock others, they also mock each other, so it’s fair
And it still amuses me how little we talk about the naked guy being buried in the woods by the cult
Is the tree that Nat and Travis find at the very end the one Ben finds that Javi had been in?
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