#like it just drives me fucking bonkers. i love men.

[kakushusband]

Top surgery scars are hot and transmasc tits are hot. Transmascs are hot. Most of my male f/os are transmasc bc that's fucking hot.

[magstorrn]

every few years im reminded that the war of the worlds stage show exists which is never good because i always find something new to hate about it

[boreal-sea]

I love how intersectional feminism is bringing back the old-school "girl power" vibe that I grew up with

So, I feel like a lot of people forgot the importance of empowerment, and it's evident with all the transphobia today

And the rationale behind it is, especially to radfems, is that it's ""cringe"", that we don't need it anymore since ~women's safety is waaaayyyy more important~, blah blah blah it's too optimistic yada yada... We both know what they believe so yeah

But, I have to ask,

IN WHAT WORLD. IN WHAT WORLD IS THE SAFETY OF WOMEN (or non-cis men for that matter) SEPERABLE FROM OUR EMPOWERMENT? IN WHAT WORLD CAN THAT BE CONSIDERED FEMINIST?

Yes!!! The 80′s and 90′s were frankly full of women enthusiastically chanting “anything you can do, I can do better!” It was an era where women were genuinely trying to join in men’s sports including football. It was a time when women pushed to be allowed to do more jobs in the military. It was a time when women openly said “we are not lesser than men, and we will prove it!”.

It truly was an era where the message of feminism was “Women are equal to Men”.

It was extremely empowering growing up in the 90′s, and that’s why it drives me bonkers to see radfems now shilling for the patriarchy, claiming that women are actually super fragile and constantly in danger and that this is all the fault of “men and males” who are just way too big and strong for any woman to possibly stand up against...

It’s fucking ridiculous.

[leiflitter]

Some of my favourite Felix quotes from the early chapters of YAH! because I love that idiot so much.

“It was two thousand and six. I wasn't about to start batting my eyes at the rugger lads, Ollie. And I'm lazy. Girls were easy.” - Chapter 4

“I won't be alone, I'll have Oliver with me. Gives us a chance to do some middle-aged man stuff- sit around and watch 1917 or Das Boot-” - Chapter 10

“So you do want to kiss me?” - Chapter 12

“Not to ruin the moment, Olls, but my knees are killing me. Reckon we could wriggle about a bit?” - Chapter 14

“He should be thanking you. Don't get me wrong, Olls, I'm not angry- but you should have crept into my room. I'd have tossed him out on his ear if you'd woken me up, gave me an impromptu handy and asked me nicely.” - Chapter 15

“Christ alive, if I had a monster like that I'd sack off the degree and go into adult entertainment.” - Chapter 16

“Oh, yeah. Firstly, I've learned- from much experience- that if you cum in hot water it gets a bit… sticky. Googled it once- something about the protein- it's just rather grim. It's why I try to float about a bit- not to ruin the mood, though, I know how you felt about runny eggs- tell me to shut up if I'm cockblocking myself, yeah?” - Chapter 17

“Well- you touch me, I touch you. Take positions, count down from three and off we go. One hand only, first to get their, erm, horse to the finish wins.” - Chapter 18

“Then at breakfast you can go oh, how's Sir Catton today? And I can go oh, ha-ha, raring to go- but do call me Felix. And nobody'd be any the wiser… Ooh, and I can send Fredders to come find you, and if he goes Sir Catton would appreciate your presence you know I'm up for it, eh?” - Chapter 19

“I was fed up with everyone going on about Wimbledon- Federer was everywhere in those shorts, Venetia and mum kept going on about his legs, and I just thought the whole look was pretty awful. So…Formal Tennis.” - Chapter 20

“You're driving me absolutely bonkers. I had to lie to Lu- told her I couldn't get off because I was sad about Venetia.” - Chapter 21

"It's you, Professor. I'm hopelessly in love with you and I just can't do anything except think about you.” - Chapter 22

“Christ on a bike. Runny eggs at mach fucking five." / “Olls? Your cock's out, mate.” - Chapter 23

“But indulge me a little- this sex with men business, Ollie, how do I hold up in the rankings? Top ten- top three- oh no, don't tell me-” - Chapter 24

“We can always do with another hand about the place- and you're already settled in at the house. You can cuddle Dozie in the Mornings, tutor Harry in the afternoons and we can be boring old men in the evenings. Sounds perfect to me.” - Chapter 25

[hawkesque]

i finally got up to “sometimes you hear the bullet” in my MASH rewatch and i have so, so many thoughts about the queercoding of tommy gillis and by extension hawkeye in this episode that it is quite literally driving me bonkers, and so here are…so many words about it, i’m so sorry in advance. 

Anyway. 

honestly, even if it was entirely unintentional, i don’t think the queer coding of tommy can be denied. MASH has plenty of queer jokes which don’t necessarily indicate to the audience that we’re supposed to read a character as queer, sure, but with tommy, the sheer volume and percentage of his time on screen these take up makes me wonder, like…what’s the point in all that, if we’re not meant to read him that way? he’s basically introduced by kissing men (hawkeye on the neck (plus an “i love you”), henry on the mouth). there’s also the matter of him being stated to be a communist (or at the very least a former communist)—and the fact that in the 50s communist sympathies and homosexuality were often lumped in together (forgive me for citing wikipedia, but this is not an academic paper). 

which brings me to hawkeye. it’s immediately established that tommy is a close friend of hawkeye’s—and if we’re assuming here that tommy is meant to be read as queer within the text, this establishes that hawkeye at the very least tolerates “subversive” behavior (MASH canon is all over the place, so it’s unclear if this could be intentional characterization set-up/follow-through for his canonical—again, at the least—tolerance of homosexuality in “George”). in fact i’d say the episode has him participating in subversive behavior, but in another way—and i’m probably about to lose some people here, but—the fucking joke about leather being in one of hawkeye’s dirty mags that dish reads while he’s away…leather culture is also closely associated with homosexuality and considered subversive (it’s less frequently associated with homosexuality itself in the early 50s, but by the early 70s, absolutely; and it’s under that “subversive” umbrella regardless). 

there’s also of course tommy referring to a younger hawkeye as a “sissy” (i don’t think i need to explain that one). while you can definitely read this as just a punching-down sort of joke, i’d argue that the episode has tommy share hawkeye’s canonical tendency to hide things behind jokes (honestly, this episode practically sets the two of them up as personality clones, which adds to my hawkeye-by-extension thoughts). he quite literally makes a joke on his deathbed—he’ll joke about anything, any time, like hawkeye does. if, like i do, you use this tendency of hawk’s to explain his queer jokes as alluding to his actual queerness, it’s pretty easy to map this on to tommy—and then on to hawkeye, as the subject of the “sissy” joke. (that, or it’s a self-referential comparison…like, ‘look at this sissy, that could never be me’ [limps wrist]). 

lastly—and i’m running out of coherency here, sorry—tommy’s sole reference to finding women attractive is a quick “we’ll split a nurse” to trapper as he’s leaving, followed by a quick look to hawkeye. i keep coming back to this and hawkeye’s “don’t say prance” line, which given the rest of the episode feel more like defenses than anything else—tommy’s an in-text one to retain plausible deniability to trapper, hawkeye’s a more meta one to retain plausible deniability in the narrative. if anything, given the state of TV and politics and such at the time, this just adds to it for me. why are you defensive, if there’s nothing to defend? 

anyway, this was roughly 600 words just to say: this episode is gay as fuck, and i’m rotating it in my mind forever

[anachronistic-falsehood]

SO. ON THE TOPIC OF LOSS OF AUTONOMY. i am having the analysis brainworms now i hope u dont mind me going off in ur inbox. hi :]

there is something to be said about how vash's name is used against him constantly. that loss of who he even is as a person. i think about this so much. his name, his very identity is taken away from him. just the mere mention of the name vash the stampede is enough to send an ENTIRE town into a panic. it happens so much and its DEVASTATING to me. hes been labelled a monster across the entire world, and people who stick by his side after hearing his name are few and far between. theres been so much fear tacked onto his name, so much so that OTHER outlaws have used it on multiple occasions to make themselves more powerful. using his name to commit crimes that the real vash would be horrified to even consider. power in names and all that.

vash even. leans into it himself at a certain point. in order to protect the people of augusta he runs through the city shooting bullets into the air and solidifying his image of a deranged killer in the pursuit of. saving everyone. the only way theyll listen to him is if they think hes going to kill them all. if theyre afraid of him. theres also the part in hang fire (? i think its that one) where hes walking through the halls of the sand steamer singing about killing people in order to scare the bandits into not hurting the hostages.

and then you think about. eriks. how lina and her grandma took him in and accepted them as part of his family. how the town around them accepted him only because they had no idea who he actually was. he was a good guy... up until they learned he was vash. and then we get the conversation between the two men in the bar talking about how they should chase him out of town, despite living around him and knowinf him and seeing how good he is for . two years.

but lina and her grandma still accept him after that. theyre one of the only people besides milly/meryl/wolfwood who genuinely love and care abt him despite his name. they still want to keep him safe, grandma asks wolfwood to protect him and keep him out of trouble, even after learning hes the legendary outlaw gunman. because shes seen the true vash ans doesnt let the name scare her.

aughhh im rambling now i probably should have made this into my own post but this makes me SO fuckign crazy dude . give me ur thoughts id love to hear them.

I. YEAH. YEAH. OH MY GOD. Like. nothing is his own anymore. His name is used against him, his face is plastered on wanted posters. There is nothing about himself that he can truly call his. Not even his Plant powers! Because those are used against him time and time again by Knives in EVERY ADAPTATION!!!!

Like. Vash is no longer the name of a kid who once argued with his brother and laughed with his mother and celebrated his birthday and rolled around in grassy fields. It's the name of an outlaw who will kill at the drop of a hat. It's the name of an out-of-control human natural disaster who's leveled cities. If he doesn't even have his name, then what part of himself is really himself anymore?

AND THAT'S WHY I LOVE ERIKS! He finally has something of his own! He's got a name that attached to no one, and a life where he can settle down and stay out of the public eye. He finally has something that is truly his. And no one lets him keep that except for Lina and her grandma.

This guy really has no control over his own life doesn't he!!! He's a passive character in the story of his own life!!! He has nothing of his own, no identity past "humanoid typhoon" because everything about his identity has been stripped from him and morphed into something he's not. He has no say in anything in his life, not even who he is as a person, AND IT DRIVES ME BONKERS N FUCKING YONKERS!!!!

[cha-melodius]

20 for the writing meme, please!

Thanks for asking! You picked a doozy, lol. (Ask me questions about my writing)

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

All right, here's some meta for chapter 2 of Nova, Baby (why chapter 2? Because it's an entire 5+1 inside a single chapter of a multichap fic, which is meta enough reason to choose it).

So yeah, it's a 5+1! I thought this was very clever, lol. Also a little bonkers, but there you go. I love this chapter because it really is a huge arc in Alex and Henry's relationship development, plus I got to play with these little encapsulated moments, and some other characters got to come in too (Nora, Pez). I'll give you some "behind the story" and lists of references for each section!

Below will be spoilers for the entire fic, so be forewarned.

I. My excuse for food-as-a-metaphor-for-love. I love that canonically Alex is a good cook, and this was my excuse to have them indulge when normally you might not get much of that in spy fiction (although, this is also a bit of a reference to my other fandom, The Man from UNCLE, where one of the spies is also a good cook; fancy dishes at safehouses is kind of my jam). I chose molé as a dish because making a traditional one has so many ingredients, to really drive home Alex putting a lot of effort into his relationship with Henry.

II. I had such fun writing this one so that, even though it's from Alex's POV, the reader doesn't know he's wearing a vest until Henry does. He might not have been risking his life (much), but he was definitely risking some broken ribs. This one has a bunch of little references in it, mostly to other spy media:

jumping through a fifth story window into a swimming pool—this is a Burn Notice reference. Throw a mattress into the pool first. Also I just love the idea of Alex being a little Extra when it comes to being a spy.

three guys who look like they walked off a Guy Ritchie set—TMFU is a Guy Ritchie movie, plus I love his movies in general.

Alex hadn’t gotten any confirmation from Langley that MI6 would be a part of this op, Henry had just shown up and Alex hadn’t really questioned it—Meant to sow a tiny thread of doubt in Alex's mind, which would pay off later when the fake burn file comes through.

he notices the way Henry’s eyelashes are wet and clumping together and his eyes are rimmed in red—Henry fucking lost it here. See also the part where he kills the men rather than his usual incapacitating, nonlethal shots. This is probably the point where he realizes how deep he's in.

Turns out, they don’t argue about what to do with it. They destroy the hard drive—direct TMFU reference, (spoilers for that movie), this is what Illya and Napoleon do at the end with the missile plans.

III. The classic Nora-and-Alex-have-a-conversation-about-his-bisexuality scene. Also I just loved the idea of Alex being so oblivious to his bisexuality that he's actually sucked cock before and written it off because 'that's just what spies do'. The layout of desks/offices in this fic roughly comes from the show Covert Affairs, since it's one of the few I've watched that actually regularly shows CIA interiors.

IV. Behind the story peek: Henry bails on this mission because he's concerned, after Lisbon, that he's getting in too deep. Also this scene Alex being a Henry-sexual (not interested in going home with any other people in the bar but can't figure out why), which I love. Also Pez in a poncho, because he would. Pez and Alex have an absolute blast on their mission, and Pez gives Henry no end of shit about Alex when he gets back.

V. Tender wound-tending my beloved. This was such a moment of honesty for them. I mean, not completely honest, but I think this is the first time Alex really realizes just how much Henry cares about him (save the full romantic feelings). There is, of course, a massive callback to this scene near the end of the fic where Alex tells Henry that he can't die because promised he'd always take care of him. All that time, he's carried that in his memory. So yeah, this is a pivotal moment.

+1. Ah, the kiss moment. I always love a kiss-as-a-cover trope, and it made for a good first kiss in this one where it would be easier to write off the potential for feelings, since it was all for the mission. Lots of canon references in this one:

in another life, he would have made a great politician—obvious reference is obvious.

I suppose I could, I don’t know, fall into the dessert table or something—a refence to Cakegate of course.

Christ, you’re thick sometimes—I changed the quote because I wanted it to be a bit less severe than "as thick as it gets." Alex is only thick sometimes in this universe, lol.

Henry’s back hits the wall next to some kind of small, indoor tree—always kissing under a tree, these two.

public displays of affection can be strategically useful for diverting scrutiny away from yourself—yes, this a CA: TWS reference

ALL RIGHT, that's probably enough lmaooooo. You asked me to ramble and I rambled. I hope this was interesting to at least one person.

[mirror-to-the-past]

Hi. Boom. Here's long assorted sleep deprived thoughts I'm gonna be face palming at later about my current KH3 impressions.

Finished Olympus, Corona, now I'm on Toy Box.

PUNTING DONALD INTO ORBIT. And low key, Goofy, too. Like, on one hand, they're just Some Guys and also cartoon characters that make me giggle every cutscene they're in and they just try to lighten the mood or whatever. On the other hand, narratively, NOBODY is getting off Sora's case oh my god. Like, they've teased him before but it feels much more frequent and pointed this game towards the things Sora is insecure about. "Haha, you know Sora, our forgetful, stupid, careless, rash, powerless, weak, codependent idiot! We love him. <3" (exaggerated for comedy but they really don't stop with the punches and it's so uncalled for lol) And he either takes it or lightly goes "hey..." half the time. Donald keeps talking shit, Goofy just lets it happen and whenever there's actually disputes where Sora sasses back a 'lil then he steps in and it gives off vibes of "now don't make your mother angry." They're questionable guardian figures. Rehoming Sora to Supportive Dad Mickey Mouse real quick out of saltiness. That said, Goofy kind of laying a steadying hand on Sora on the Trinity Sled and when he was upset about Eugene's "death" in Corona is sweet.

The face of someone doing completely well who says "I can take it" twice in a row just to prove how well he's doing:

Bestie. You're fifteen years old and running around in a world where tripping acid on identity issues, amnesia, and listening to vague monologues from strange predatory darkness men is another Tuesday.

Sora keeps spacing out and giving thousand yard stares especially throughout this game, and when Ienzo told him "yeah, your heart's not entirely yours!" And Sora just stared blankly at the phone like "figures." I just laughed, lol. He's just constantly pivoting between being occupied by and amazed by the Wonder™ of the world/absorbed by the hype of meeting new people and the Horrors™ presented by the constant tumult of foreign emotions and memories running through his little head, clearly to such a degree that it's no surprise to be told that there's whole fuckin people within him. Teenage experience, honestly. Love coming of age narratives that are just crazy fucking magic bs manifesting in dissociation central. What a guy.

I was in tears laughing when Sora was hearing voices in Twilight Town and thought Hayner and co. were those same voices for a sec and very enthusiastically, as though to prove himself went: "See?? :DDD Voices!" SORA, HONEY.

In other news of AAA-

Way to the Dawn just fucking broke? Why was everyone so calm? Am I missing something? Riku's like "aha gives me an excuse to skill up and get a better one-" child, I am gripping you by the shoulders. This blade is manifested as an extension of your heart, they don't just BREAK. Should I be concerned about the integrity of your soul, brother?

THE SCENE WITH KAIRI AND LEA/AXEL WAS SO SWEET, I WANT MORE OF THEM. NEED MORE OF THEM, ACTUALLY. When Kairi was like ":3 hehe I'm gonna beat your ass in the ring," and when he started CRYING because he caught a glimpse of Xion in her. 😭 Her letter to Sora was so fucking sad I am heartbroken how she becomes more alienated from her friends as time goes on. She went from sending the letter as a waypoint in KH2, like "please come back, here I am" to "you know where I am, but I'm still here talking to myself anyway." I. 👏 NEED. 👏 CLOSURE. 👏 Preferably for Kairi with both Sora and Riku, but they'll probably do just Sora but I dunno I don't want to get my hopes up or down. I just... I dunno, even if things aren't necessarily the same with all of them, I'd just like there to be something affirming where they stand because like even though the care they have for each other is obviously there, you can see it with all three of them in KH1 and KH2 (drives me up the walls bonkers when Riku shielded her with his body and Sora caught her when they were flashbanged), it's also like that feeling of a dwindling group chat kind of scenario. "That's right, no more waiting for you to come back from your adventures..." Props to VA that line was delivered so laden with hollowness. I hold Kairi in hands. Devastated.

THE FOCUS ON SAVING ROXAS HAS ME EXCITED. THAT IS ALL. I WAS YELLING AT SCREEN FOR FOREVER LIKE "USE A REPLICA" and then Riku finally was like "🤔✨...Replica?" And I went and mentally hoisted him onto my shoulders for a little "hip hip hooray" because the dots are connecting with the characters, fellas. I might see at least one of my peoples, soon.

Riku's VA just sounds like he's given up for this game and it's killing me, lol. Voice direction just hasn't been in his favor so far.

Mickey Mouse and Riku bonding time in hell. Riku's like "wow, mouse dad, I feel less riddled with self doubt these days. It's pretty nice to feel like a go-getter, haha, wonder why tho?" And Mickey Mouse is like... "Well... 🏳️‍🌈...! :D" Riku goes: "🤔... 🏳️‍🌈👍." strength to protect what matters And then that's that. Back to reconnaissance mission for lost veteran. Cinematic perfection.

Sora is still a certified Disney princess, if anyone's curious. He got his dance number in for this game, and he had birds gently circle around him and land on his finger.

Marluxia: "Ah yes, we finally reunite." Sora: "who"

I still can't tell if anyone has debriefed Sora, Donald, and Goofy about what happened in Castle Oblivion yet in any way. I'm wondering why they're (writers) playing that particular plot line so close to their chest.

Adorable how well Sora and Rapunzel got along. While Sora is a friend to all and shit it's really sweet seeing how he still seems to have bonds where he personally clicks with some characters more than others. And all for good reasons- like matching with his traits. I imagine him, Rapunzel, Ariel, and Hercules get brunch at the Bistro now, and no one can take this from me. Also Hercules is such a Sora hypeman, cheering him on even when he's getting crushed by a building. He passes the vibe check 100%.

I manifested my gag attack concept from my BBS post halfway into being and I'm so happy about it, lol. Thank you Hercules from hit movie Hercules for swinging Sora around in a circle like a broadsword in your special attack. I think more people should use him as a broadsword for enrichment reasons.

THEY CUT OUT THE SNUGGLY DUCKLING FROM TANGLED. SO MUCH POTENTIAL HAS BEEN LOST FROM CANON. I WILL NEVER RECOVER.

"how do I get power of waking when it didn't work the normal way Hercules," "idk Sora maybe you've got to be in love like I am," "well shit. guess I should get me some of that love superpower. Oh btw how come happily married Mickey Mouse and my best friend Riku are the only dudes that have the power of waking I'm confused," "...idk Sora" "okay, bye herc" (can you see my sleep deprivation leaking yet, I'm connecting the dots though, I promise, trust my methods 🤣)

IT TOOK ME 7 TRIES TO CRACK A FUCKING EGG. Remy Ratatouille looks at me like a disappointed father

Weaponized amusement park ride powers are so badass actually. I love the teacups and wish I could inflict them on my enemies, too.

Sora now has GUN. "Shooting" Star, indeed.

Sora and Rapunzel splashing in da water. 💦🥰 So cute.

WHY DID THEY PUT THEIR WHOLE ASS INTO THE FAKE VIDEO GAME TRAILER IT LOOKED SO SICK. I was so confused though I saw the dude and was like... Riku?? Wtf you're HD, my guy! Wait, you've got heterochromia and are chasing after a girl, mistook you for someone else, my bad.

There is a dog on my gummi ship roof and he will stay there until I finish the game.

Twilight Town is gorgeous and I now know the answer for "if I could pick a video game place to live" that's not just Stardew or Pokemon or something.

"I can't computer so... do that." Me too, Sora. Helping him learn his phone by having him take a ton of pictures, though. I'd like to imagine he sends them to his buddies or is excited to show them later or something. That would be so <3

The Kingdom Hearts social media posts are so funny to me for some reason btw. You get surreal shit like Riku pain-posting "I wonder if I'm the reason Ansem looks the way he does :/" and. The sideway frown just sent me. No, I can't explain why. Just comedy gold. "Mfw when possession :/" "sometimes I think about when my friend was in a coma for a year :/" "y'know I wonder what my family felt when my home was overcome with darkness because of me. Did it hurt? Were they afraid? Well they're back now but I wonder that sometimes. :/"

Maleficent is me trying to track down Luxu and shake him for answers. I don't even care if it's bad she finds it, I need to know what's in the damn box.

Buzz Lightyear going "this plot sounds ridiculous and absurd. Of course you're acting like this is normal, pitiful JRPG character." Sora: ":'D"

GET IN THE ROBOT, SORA.

[jedusaur]

@there-must-be-a-lock asked fic authors to share never-before-seen playlists/moodboards/background lore for their fics here. I don't really do playlists or moodboards, but I can do some background!

No Consequences, No Hangovers—when Clint feels the vibrations of Bucky talking after he already said he can't hear and internally gripes about it, Bucky is actually testing whether they're being monitored by talking loudly about one of his weapons they missed in the patdown to see whether they'll come take it away. I was gonna come back to that in the fic, but I just couldn't find a natural way to work it in.

just trying to matter—in this fic Roy uses food to communicate sympathy/support (stuffed pasta), capitulation (popcorn), reconciliation (tacos), annoyance/spite (millionaire's shortbread), and love/affection (all of it, really, but particularly the breakfasts and the Toblerone). he has absolutely no idea at any point that he is expressing himself this way.

Fuck-You Money—the spinach and cheese pastry Stiles gives Derek as a grand gesture is based on the ones from Konditorei in Davis, CA, which I just googled to find a picture and found out they closed last year :( but the pastries looked like this! ahhh they were so GOOD

The History Bros—Shitty's pop-quiz interjection was born from my utter astonishment when I searched for women's hockey history and learned when women started playing college hockey. male hockey fans LOVE to "pop quiz" when they find out anyone they perceive as a woman is into hockey and it drives me bonkers, so it's a subversion of that; I guarantee you not one of the men who has ever done the "pop quiz" thing to me knows the answer to Shitty's question. (for the record, I have known the correct answers to every one of the questions those douchenuts have ever asked me. TWO of them then tried to "correct" me to a wrong answer and wouldn't accept that I was right even after I brought up proof on my phone)

remembrances ⊻ memoria—when Clint and Bucky first fuck in 1986, Bucky's hair looks like this XD

Check and Mate—when Jamie goes out in the stands to kiss fans looking for his soulbond, most of the people he's kissing have already kissed him after previous games. he just doesn't pay enough attention to notice all the repeats, and they don't tell him

something in consciousness—the reason the nanites can't control thoughts and decisions is because they work by positioning themselves all through the person's hair and sending signals to each other through the brain, and the prefrontal cortex falls mostly outside the area they can access that way. the strongest effects are visual and tactile because the occipital and parietal lobes are the areas with the most nanite coverage. (this is not in the fic because it's Clint's POV and Clint does not give a shit lol)

Mounting Available On Request—the IKEA entertainment center situation is based directly on my own dumbass decision to ignore the instructions and do it alone, which resulted in a shelf snapping clean off >.< still less embarrassing than accidentally hiring a hooker tho

Hugs Gimme Hugs—I wrote this 12 years ago and probably no one remembers it except me, but it made me a lot more aware of my own water use and I still think of it every single time I see a bathroom sink starting to fill up

[prismatoxic]

if there is one thing i really hate, it's queer people pitting themselves against each other. my least favorite/most fucking beloathed example is trans men being pitted against trans women and vice versa.

if you feel the need to explain "most" trans men or trans women as behaving a certain way (usually negative), you are encouraging a divide between those two identities. i do not care what bad experiences you have had with some binary trans people--if you are trying to generalize one or the other as being worse, you are the fucking problem.

i usually see it against trans men, but as a trans man myself i am more sensitive to that specific derision and probably notice it more than i notice anything else. one weird thing i saw very recently however is someone claiming that people are saying "most trans women are/were transmeds", which... is just patently false? and a weird insult to levy at trans women.

i was a transmed for several years in my late teens/early 20s. most of us were trans men, with a handful of cis people thrown in. (yeah, i see the issue with that now. hindsight.) the person who coined the term "tucute", to combat transmed ideology, was a trans woman. (the term came from how we had "reclaimed" the term truscum, which was our main label until someone came up with transmedicalist.)

now, we all know transmeds are bad. however in the thick of things, at the time, the tucutes actually were not behaving better. it was very Trans Women vs Trans Men. do you know how often me and the other guys i knew got "shrimpdick" levied at us? the coiner of tucute was a HUGE part of that, but everyone who liked her or was friends with her was pretty much just as bad. this was very specifically two ideologies at war, but almost all of the people involved made it about our identities instead. none of us were in the right on that front.

transmed ideology is wrong, i agree. however, attacking the people espousing a certain ideology for their personal identities is never fucking okay! ESPECIALLY in queer spaces! you cannot base your fucking argument on how someone identifies their gender. you cannot.

what drives me the most bonkers about the whole thing is how often it is based on the idea that men are bad, in general. not only is this not true (the patriarchy is bad, the men At The Top are bad, this does not filter down to every fucking average joe on the street), but you straight up cannot generalize the trans experience that way. you can't! identifying as a man or even just as masc does not make you fucking evil. it does not predispose you to a certain way of thinking or behaving. that's radfem shit.

we know, by now, that infighting is the tool of the oppressor, don't we? TERFs and conservatives want to divide and conquer, and the more we fight, the more we try to claim our identity is The Superior One, the easier it is to take us down. i am begging everyone to try and see fellow queer people as worthy of protection, no matter what label they choose.

we have to stop relying on sweeping generalizations in our arguments. we have to stop alienating people who are not Exactly Like Us. the people who want us dead see us all as the same brand of degenerate, and trying to pick a side amongst ourselves is not going to convince them otherwise.

i want to make it clear that i am in no way trying to exclude anyone who lies outside the gender binary; i just see this gender infighting the most on that binary. but, if you have your own experiences with any of this, i'd love to hear it. these are just my personal thoughts and i am by far not an authority.

[stunads]

can you ever delete memories and feelings from your brain hard drive?

bryan is so interesting

i literally can’t help falling in love with him? scientifically speaking of course

it’s just so interesting

interacting with him from this much more mature place, as someone who understands herself a lot more, and understands life a lot more, and probably him a lot more even though there’s actually so much i don’t know about him now

it’s almost like i can see the past in the present

gosh i wish i could put this in to words

hopefully this is enough for my chronicles

i wonder if we’ll ever get to unlock the mystery of who we are to each other

memories flash in my mind, i can’t see them or conceptualize them but it’s like a feeling

i’ll just randomly smile during the day

and somehow i’ll know it’s because i remembered something about bryan

i mean, i haven’t changed all that much in my core, if anything .. i have become more myself

and that girl is the same girl that fell in love with him

i’m her, heyyyy it’s me

and he’s still so him

so it’s just interesting that after all this time, it feels like no time has passed

and my brain just snaps back to heart eyes, heart boom, smiling at my phone, thinking about .. that thing we used to do

gosh i literally haven’t thought about sex in a minute

that primordial blood oath am i right

let me stop typing

this was supposed to be scientific note taking

i truly need to stress to myself in the future and any potential stalkers or future invited readers that i absolutely do not care about romance at this time in my life

i have absolutely no desire to be in a relationship

i have no relationship gas in my relationship tank

all men are insane

bryan included

i don’t even know if that’s the guy i would even want to be my husband when it’s all said and done

he has on numerous occasions demolished my heart, annihilated my confidence, warped my body image, scrambled my brain to the point where only God knows the extent of how clinically insane that relationship made me, used me for my body? , lied ?, cheated and got away with it ??? , humiliated me, many many more nightmarish things the last of which i will mention here is straight up tell me he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me lmfao

woof. a lot to unpack still lol

so

when i say scientific i mean scientific

i’m like the most normal genius girl on earth, i know future me will know if she ever needs to go back and review her field notes

that this girl is not tripping over bryan cromwell

just so curious to unravel all of these strange feelings

dreams that feel so real

the unstoppable feeling of wanting to catch up with him if it’s been too long

the undeniable truth that seeing his name pop up on my phone is still in my top favorite feelings

and let’s just say it our fucking sex was bonkers what are we going to do about that

i never want to have sex before marriage ever again stupidest fucking dumb ass idea of my retarded life thanks a lot dumb ass bryan for ruining my fucking life idiot ass

not with the sex that was awesome

by breaking up with me and ruining my life long vow of celibacy until marriage you dumb fucking piece of shit

and then i went insane and had a few accidents because being a girl is very very hard and guys don’t understand this at all and guys are very pressurey and i was raised to perform whatever tasks and fulfill whatever requests were asked of me and there are many other things that contributed to my dumb assfuckign idiot ass being perpetually retarded for a few years

not that you asked or cared piece of idiot shit

sometimes guys threaten you and throw things at you or start screaming or threaten to hurt themselves or start failing out of college if you don’t agree to hang out with them

or get you way more drunk than they got and sometimes even put things in your drink!

or fucking kiss you when you fall asleep in your own house like a fucking freak of nature

so yeah once SOMEONE you ONLY had sex with because he also believed in God and Jesus and also was planning to wait until marriage and then one day he said okay let’s go for it because obviously we are gonna get married we just can’t yet because we’re 16

when that guy dumps you forever right before college starts and he’s going to the same college as you even though he was going to penn state his whole life and said he would never go to tcnj probably just to make sure you don’t fall in love with kevin ramos

because he didn’t see or hear all of the many times you tried to tell him kevin ramos was a dare i say abusive, incredibly manipulative, scary freak that you only fell into the clutches of because aforementioned virginity taker couldn’t decide which of his fan girls he wanted to claim

when that guy dumps you before college, the guy that made you feel guilty about having premarital sex and the imminent afterlife in hell even though he pulled the trigger and you only did it because Jesus personally told you it was totally kosher because we were the most cutest couple ever, married in our hearts and in the eyes of the Lord who knew our hearts

when that guy DUMPS YOU right before you embark on another 4 years of being trapped in the same habitat, and says it’s because he doesn’t like your personality at all he is just using you for your body and that is wrong

when that happens to you, and your sacred seal is broken along with your mind body and soul

and you don’t have the protection of purity any longer

or the will to live lol

welp you get into some precarious situations and girls are taught to fuck their way out of them lest we be stabbed or strangled or punched or something

so anyways woof a lot to unpack there LOL

what was i talking about

oh right

i also only had *** with dumbass mother fucker even bigger idiot evil piece of dumb ass h**** because i thought i was gonna marry his stupid ASS because i’m so fucking RETARDED and i was legally brain dead after my last dumping and as the laws of the realm decree if i get shattered by bryan i have to fall into the hands of a diabolical lying manipulating violent psychopath

but i finally stopped being retarded

so by the power of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ through the grace of God and the guidance of the Holy Spirit i really really really really don’t want to have sex again with anyone on planet earth unless that man is my husband actually ring on, church saw, God saw, locked in

okay but here’s the crux of the issue - what if he’s trash and got a small dick and no stroke and doesn’t have beautiful eyelashes or crooked pinkies or the voice of an angel or makes those cute little faces and noises or grab me and the right way

okay some of those things i can verify pre maritally

i’ve honestly lost track of things a bit got myself a little flustered

it’s so funny how just thinking about how cute bryan is just wipes away any bad feelings i could have lmfaooo now im like girl chill out why did you pop off for 7 paragraphs he can use us for our body that’s fine

LOL i need Jesus to come pick me up fr like i need to hang up my human body in the rafters of this mortal coil like a jersey, i’m at the retarded mall of life and i need a ride home,

anyways i think i made my points for tonight’s field report

to recap

1. i love being friends with bryan

2. i hope one day the nature of our true meaning to each other will become more evident

3. i hope we both find the perfect partner and will be able to each have a beautiful wedding to exact person God made for us and that we can both be at each other’s wedding and God willing that process could happen at the same time so it’s just perfect and we can be truly happy for each other and friends with each others partners and friends together forever

4. life is so beautiful but also so scary and it makes me happy that even though many things change, i can still talk to bryan cromwell and things don’t feel scary anymore

[ultraericthered]

I think you're misreading "insecurity" here, and it's partially my bad because I even used "insecure" before even when that really isn't the proper term to ever use regarding Dr. Roboyolking Eggman.

Eggman is not an insecure person. He's as opposite as it gets from one. Perhaps he once was a bit insecure and needy for attention and recognition for his IQ and natural talents when he was a young Ivo Robotnik, but he completely conquered and dispelled all those insecurities with ease via what he was able to achieve as he grew up, due to what he discovered he truly was (the Greatest Genius In The Universe!). This "I'm the best at everything, pay attention to me and recognize my genius!" mentality and behavioral patterns that likely began as a coping mechanism for self-consciousness and feeling like others, even his own family, might think him inadequate became pathological to Ivo when he came to see that "Wait, I really AM that fucking awesome and brilliant and superior to everyone else!". Upon that self-discovery, he's been utterly in love with himself, enthralled by what he can do with his gifts, 100% confident in his brainpower and skills and what they can make, and insistent upon gaining what a superior being such as himself so obviously deserves to have. Narcissistic self obsession and a ceaseless hunger for power and glory are ingrained in him - they're what make him him.

He's not insecure with himself: he's discontented with the reality around him and how it has not bent over to reward and service him. He resents that the world does not revolve around him even when he's come to adore himself so much that he believes the world really should revolve around him. He hates that there exists anything in the world, in life itself, that don't play along with his "god among mortal men" self-image colored worldview and even threatens to tear down that image and knock him down several pegs, as though he were just some beta specimen rather than the alpha he perceives himself as. And he's never worried or anxious that he's not good enough - no, he's constantly worried and anxious that the accursed hedgehog and his furry friends will keep shutting him off from world domination in what he considers to be one futile (he wishes) but aggravatingly long act of defiance of his ideas and values, and denial of his egomaniac outlook and the rewards he thinks such an outlook entitles him to. Constant setbacks and humiliating defeats, continuous failure to get what he wants, having to go on living on a planet not dominated by him where all the other "lesser" lifeforms with whom he shares it don't pay him their endless attention and shower him with endless appraisal, adulation, and recognition of his greatness...those are all so antithetical to Eggman's internal world that it drives him bonkers. That's what fuels his animosity towards Sonic the most. He would be a rock solidly, perfectly contented person with an easy path to world domination were it not for this one hedgehog and his friends, and it's because of that that the doctor's self-obsession on its own can never quite be enough for him to feel like he exists within a satisfactory place in life, and not even loyalty and efficiency from his creations makes it enough for him - so long as Sonic is around to defy him, insult him, break his beautiful machines and thwart all his best laid plans, Eggman feels deep within him this compulsive need to place himself higher above everyone else in existence ('cause he IS just inherently higher above everyone else in existence in his own view!) and make all those lesser others worship him as their better, and to eliminate all who'd not comply with him or dare try to stop him.

(Which isn't to say Eggman doesn't also on some level respect Sonic as a worthy opponent and doesn't take enjoyment in his efforts to destroy him and his allies, especially when it gives him opportunities to indulge in malicious cruelty and destructive supervillainy.)

And about Ego City - that's actually the one place where a single lingering insecurity does manifest from Eggman's subconscious, in his line of "Do I really look like an egg?" Obviously, Eggman sees absolutely nothing wrong with his body shape and is proud of what a handsome devil he is, to the point where he ran with Sonic's "Eggman" nickname and even named his empire after it out of spite, so I don't think it'd even bother him if he did look like an egg. What really bothers him deep down is the idea that others could look at him in a way that's different from how he looks at himself. The very concept is so incomprehensible to a pathological egotist like him.

If you think Eggman, the man who confidently demands that everyone immediately submit and worship him, erects massive statues crafted perfectly in his precise image, insists that his visage is plastered everywhere from his logo to countlessly creations, constantly talks about how he's the greatest genius and best person on the planet, and hypes himself up in brilliance and genius and handsomeness constantly- is somehow secretly insecure deep down, you don't understand his character and his specific type of egotism and narcissism, feelings of superiority and god complex

There's absolutely nothing to suggest it's just a farce or that his desire to rule to the world is an attempt at validation for something that he doesn't truly believe at his core. He wants the world to worship him because in his mind he KNOWS he deserves the world and to be hailed by all. His goals are because of his genuine self love and extremely bloated ego. He doesn't lose this confidence in himself, his entitlement to all the love and attention, or stop the constant praising of himself when he's talking in more private settings

Such as his SA2 journal in the mission recaps, where his version of "dear diary" is literally "I'm Dr. Eggman, the greatest scientific genius of the world" every time. And in the Egg Memos, he's constantly talking about how much of a genius he is and how he can do anything, that it's why Sage is so great because he's the genius who created her, and even shows his bratty entitlement to all the attention by saying he should've had all the attention instead of the sick and tragically dying Maria

How you can see and hear all this and actually believe he's somehow insecure and that his egotistical self loving behavior is just some show, as if it doesn't continue into situations he believes he has privacy like his personal journal and memos, is beyond me. The reason he's so passionate, determined and devoted to accomplishing his goals is because he believes he's so amazing and deserves and is entitled to everything he wants and truly has the power to take over and enforce it himself. His confidence is genuine and unshakeable

That's literally the entire point. Never once has he gone "why does nobody love meee I'm not good enough :(" in the games. It's always "I'm AWESOME the best person ever, I love me and I know you do too or will when I force you to see the truth and hail me for the brilliant genius and powerful emperor I am >:)" And his true passion and belief in it is a huge part of his charm. This is the man who dreamed up fucking EGO CITY in Dream Team. He's the antithesis of insecure in every way, he's so deeply secure in himself to a dangerously entitled and narcissistic degree lol

He doesn't know what it's like to doubt himself, feel insecure, or lack confidence. He wants to be on the spotlight and for the whole world to see and hail him and give him all the power and control. He builds everything in his image and slaps his visage onto everything confidently. When he dreams his dreamworld is full of him, where he gives himself employee of the month awards and dreams of a city ruled by him full of crowds and floats hailing him and golden statues everywhere. He doesn't have an insecure bone in his body, not even in his sleep XD

[thiswasinevitableid]

For the meet uglies, 41, Sternclay, NSFW?

Here you go! And if you're a fan on "Let me be good to you" this has very similar vibes.

41: I’m at the 24/7 gym at 2 in the morning and I thought I was alone so I’m singing in the showers, but when you start singing with me, I’m startled and slip so the first time we meet, we’re both wet and naked

Stern blames the playlist he had on at work for the fact his morning devolves into chaos. He works better to the blues (or 2000s pop hits, but those don’t feel right when going over files on suspicious incidents in Appalachia). So he hums as he rinses the remnants of his workout down the drain. He’d never sing where someone can hear, but since no one is here.

I want a little steam on my clothes

Maybe I could fix things up so they'll go

What's the matter daddy, come on, save my soul

He goes to rinse his hair and realizes the song is still going.

I need some sugar in my bowl, I ain't foolin'

I want some sugar in my bowl

His lizard brain yells two separate messages; “baritone voice very hot” and “oh god who’s there.”

The second message leaps into the driver seat and, in his attempt to turn, peer out of the stall, and be sure it’s just another patron, his foot finds the traces of soap on the floor.

“Shit” He falls backwards out of the stall, thudding to the floor.

“Oh fuck.” A man emerges two stalls to his left, soaking wet and flailing for a towel, “I’m so fucking sorry, I’m so used to singing along with the radio. Are you okay?”

Joseph scans his body, finds nothing broken, “Yes.”

“Thank god.” The other man flicks shaggy hair from his face. In the split second before he gets the towel around his waist, Joseph’s gym manners fail him and he glances down. At least he’s getting several weeks worth of masturbation fodder from this humiliating moment.

“Here man, lemme help you up.”

Joseph takes the offered hand, then grits his teeth and swiftly turns to grab his own towel from where he hung it. He’d rather not show a stranger his ass, but this is how his night is going. As he turns back, he spots the other man quickly redirecting his stare from his ass to the floor.

Once both showers are off, Joseph changes and packs his bag. The stranger is at the mirror, tying his hair back and combing his beard.

“I’m sorry, my singing probably startled you too.”

A shrug of broad shoulders, “I work in kitchens, I’m so used to background noise some of it barely registers. And I always have the radio on when it’s just me in the mornings.”

“Hence the singing along?”

“Yeah, and why I’m here so early. I try to get my exercise in before work. Gotta admit, when I joined this gym I didn’t expect anyone else would be in for a 2 a.m workout.”

“My hours are all over the place. I’m with the FBI and when I’m on a case I tend to, um, lose track of time. Or work way later than I should.” He shoulders his bag, raises his hand in a wave, “it was nice meeting you. Even it was alarming at first.”

“Same to you” the man smiles at him over his shoulders, “and if you’re ever here at zero dark thirty again and want a gym buddy, I’m happy to keep you company.”

--------------------------------------

It’s a month before Joseph runs into him again. He swipes his card at the gym, finds the clank of a weight rack in place of the usual silence. The man from the showers smiles at him as he puts his bag near medicine balls, and when he’s done with his set he crosses the 80s-colored carpet to join him.

“It’s much nicer to see you when I can see you coming.” Joseph smiles politely, not catching his own subtext until the other man blushes.

“No kidding. I, uh, this may sound weird, but could I work-out with you? I’ve been doing the same routine for years because it’s what I know, but it gets so fucking boring.”

“I wouldn’t mind the company, though be warned that I do a lot of core and don’t use the machines all that much.”

“Totally fine. I’m, uh, I’m Barclay, by the way.” He holds out his hand and Joseph pictures twisting it behind his back while pinning him over one of the benches.

Instead, he shakes it, “Joseph.”

-----------------------------------------

“I’m serious about skipping this if you need to” Joseph starts up the treadmill as Barclay jogs on the one beside him, “if you’re on your feet all day at work this could make that really uncomfortable.”

“Nah, I’ll be fine.”

It’s the truth; he may not be as in-shape as Joseph, but he’s still pretty fit, and they only do thirty minutes of running. But it’s equally true that he’d rather suffer some extra-sore legs than lose out on a half-hour of his limited time with his friend.

He’d been hoping for someone to spot him and maybe teach him some new lower body exercises, with the added bonus of having some basic things (like music taste and bonkers work schedules) in common. What he’s gotten is someone with a dorky sense of humor, and extensive knowledge of cryptozoology and mystery novels, and the stamina to make engaging conversation about those things while running or working a rowing machine.

It helps that Joseph is so hot that he could caramelize sugar just by looking at it. The glimpses he caught of him when they met were tantalizing; the way his dark hair gradually loosens from it’s gelled state, the way his cheeks turn pink when flushed and sweating, the few times his voice turns truly breathless? Barclay is ready to get on his knees and beg for him to do obscene things in the locker rooms.

What makes this desire impossible to shake is the suspicion that it’s shared. He’s caught Joseph looking at him in a way that isn’t just about his form, and when he shows Barclay a new exercise he stands closer and lingers longer than strictly necessary. And his Freudian slips are so frequent and obvious they may as well be Freudian nightgowns.

Just when he thinks Joseph can’t get any hotter, the agent texts him around their three month mark of working out together warning that he’ll be late. When he arrives, Barclay drops the five pound plate he was moving.

Joseph hasn’t changed clothes. He’s in a full, black suit, shined shoes, and a silver and blue tie that Joseph wants him to take off and loop around Barclays throat instead. The agent smiles with a promise to be right back, seems bemused when he returns to find Barclay in the exact spot and position he left him.

“You okay, big guy?” The nickname is one of the many ways he built a home for himself in Barclays daydreams.

“Uh. Uh, yeah, sorry, got lost in thought. I haven’t started on the full workout, did some extra stretching since I’m kinda tight from yesterday. You wanna do weights first?”

“Sure.”

Their routine lasts about an hour. It’s an act of god that Barclay gets through it unscathed. Joseph is even more hands-on than usual, and his cologne (bergamot and citrus, if Barclay has his scents right) hasn’t had a chance to fade. The most distracting element of the whole morning is his friend’s voice; there’s an edge to it, like a knife in a velvet sheath, and Joseph gives fewer suggestions and more orders.

Barclay wants him to sound like this forever. But only if he can rearrange his life so that he can follow every command.

After a very cold shower, he falls in next to Joseph as they push through the double doors into the warm night. When he reaches his car, the other man touches his cheek.

“Drive safe, big guy.”

He wonders if Joseph can feel him blush in the dark, “I will, agent. I promise.”

-----------------------------------------

“I told them to get those dark spots checked” Joseph shakes his head at the notice on the door informing them the gym will be closed for the next two weeks to repair massive water damage in the ceiling.

“I’m just bummed I won’t get to work out with you. It’s not as fun alone in my apartment.”

“You could come over to mine, if we can find a time where it works.”

“I’d love to.”

Barclay double checks that the address on the apartment in front of him matches the one Joseph sent, while trying not to fixate on the text that came with it.

Joseph: Be ready, big guy, I’m going to work you hard

He knocks on the designated door, pushes it open when Joseph calls for him to come in. There’s a yoga mat on the floor and a stationary bike in the corner, and far too little space for two grown men to work out together.

“Do you want me to help move the couch? That might give us...more...room.”

Joseph, in his full suit and dress shoes, leans against the kitchen doorway with a confident smile.

“Y-you’re not working out with me, are you?” Barclay’s hopes hurry to the front of his brain, tripping up his tongue.

“No. I did mine earlier today.” He runs a finger along Barclay’s chest, “I designed a special one, just for you. If you get through it all, you get a reward.”

“What kind?”

Joseph leans in to kiss him softly and swiftly, “I’ll let you fuck me.”

Barclay’s hands fly out to grips his shoulders as he groans, “fuck, babe, really?”

“Really. But first, you have to pick two things from this list.” He hands Barclay a sheet of memo paper with a neatly written list of the lewdest exercises he’s ever seen. He’d offer to do all of them, but then he might not have enough energy to enjoy his reward.

“The, uh, the push ups and the crunches.”

Joseph raises an eyebrow expectantly.

“Please?”

“Okay, big guy, we’ll do those. Get on the mat, push up position.”

Barclay hurriedly obeys. Freshly shined shoes step onto the top edge of the mat.

“We’ll just do thirty today. I’ll count. Ready?”

He nods.

“Good boy. Down, one”

Barclay bends his elbows, only stopping when his lips touch the top of Joseph’s shoes. He holds there a two-count, then rises.

“Down, two.”

He repeats the motion, keeps time with Joseph’s count as a hint of polish curls into his nose. It should be boring, maybe even degrading, but fuck him if it isn’t the hottest fucking thing he’s done in years. Joseph is so put together, so poised, Barclay feels like an unkempt beast next to him in his gym clothes. Yet he’s letting him kiss his lovingly shined shoes, telling him he’s a good boy as he works up a sweat.

“Down, thirty.” Joseph joins him on the floor as Barclay sits back on his heels, “well done. Now, on your back please.”

Barclay lays down. Joseph grabs a silver item from the side table and holds it in front of him. It takes his lust-glazed brain a second to grasp it’s a cock cage.

“Can I put this on you? You’ll have to wear it the rest of the workout.”

“Ohfuckplease.”

Joseph leans forward enough to kiss his chest, then shifts his shorts down to his thighs and locks the cage into place.

“If you need to stop, just say red. Okay?”

He nods frantically.

“Okay?” Joseph repeats with a stern look.

“Okay.”

“Good boy.” Joseph lifts his legs and sets them over his left shoulder. Barclay whimpers as there’s a snap of a latex glove and a pop of lube. Joseph smirks as Barclay whines at his teasing touches.

“Two sets, forty each. Go ahead and count in your head.”

“Okay” He curls his body, only gets through two more crunches before a finger presses in. “fuck!”

“Focus, big guy.” Joseph kisses his knee.

“I am, I’m focusing on the fact you’re a fucking genius.”

“If you lose count, you’ll have to start over” he presses in the second finger, “and that means longer until your reward.”

“I’m, I’m on twenty!”

A kiss to his calf, “Keep going.”

By the time he hits the second “forty” his legs are burning and Joseph is stretching his ass open with three fingers. He pulls them free but keeps Barclays legs in place, tugs the glove off and removes a blue, silicone plug from his jacket pocket . It slides in comfortably, but Barclay whimpers his name all the same.

“You’re doing so well Barclay. Are you ready to keep being my good boy?”

“Yes, please yes.”

Joseph sets his legs on the floor, guides him to his knees so he can pull his shorts up, and then helps him to his feet, pausing to kiss him sweetly and run his lips along his neck.

“Twenty minutes on the bike. Whatever speed you like.”

Barclay eases himself onto the seat, starts pedaling and watches longingly as Joseph heads into the kitchen saying he'll be back in a minute. The plug isn’t too uncomfortable to sit on, so this should be a breeze.

He hunches forward with a moan as it starts vibrating. Joseph strides back into the room, remote control in hand, only stopping to give Barclay another kiss and run his fingers through his hair before dropping onto the couch.

“Let me know when you’re done.” He picks up a copy of Empire and starts reading, heedless of Barclay’s increasingly loud moans.

The vibrator starts and stops, sometimes a gentle buzz and sometimes a furious pulse, and Barclay fights to keep the pedals going under the onslaught, desperate not to lose time and eager to please the man stealing tender, hungry glances at him from the couch.

“Time” He gasps, pulling his feet free from the pedals. Joseph is up and to him before his legs have a chance to wobble. Once he’s on the couch, shirt soaked with sweat, Joseph straddles him and kisses him demandingly, mouth moving from lips to cheek to neck without a care for sweat.

“Will you be a good boy and let me get off on you?”

“You know I fuckin will, fuck, babe, wanna be so fuckin good for youAH, ohgod” He throws his arms around Joseph, clinging and groping as he grinds on the cage and the aching cock within it.

“You look so good like this big guy, exhausted and obedient for me.”

“Yes, yesyes all for you, Joseph, please cum on me.”

“I will baby, don’t worry.” He brushes their lips together, “do you want some more kisses while I do.”

“Uhhuh” He whines, the noise only growing as Joseph kisses him and works his hips recklessly, his hands slipping up Barclays shirt to squeeze his pecs and toy with his nipples. When the tempo of his jerking hips changes, Barclay holds him tighter, needing to feel the way his body tenses and shudders as he cums more than he’s needed anything in his life.

“There” Joseph grins, panting, and pulls the key to the cage from his breast pocket, “now you can have your reward.” He slides to the floor, yanking Barclays shorts with him on the way. The cock cage hits the carpet and then a wet, enthusiastic mouth swallows him almost to the root.

“Ohfuck, Joseph, babe I’m gonna cum in like two seconds you, you might wanna-”

The agent pulls off, lazily licking the head, “I don’t want cum on the carpet, big guy. So be a good boy and cum down my throat.”

He gets exactly three and a half ecstatic thrusts into Joseph’s mouth before his orgasm knocks the breath from him and he cums, moaning out thanks as he does. When he’s spilled the last of it, Joseph sits back, breathing deep and wiping his lips.

“J-joseph? Will you, uh, will you kiss me again?”

The other man clambers into his lap, bitter taste on his tongue when Barclay glides his own against it. When he finally stops to breathe, Joseph pets his beard.

“Was all that okay?”

“So fucking okay. It was incredible. I, I feel so fucking good. Sweaty, but good.”

A kiss on the cheek, “Shower is just down that hall. Go get clean while I order dinner.”

“Okay.” Barclay looks at him with dreamy hope, “do you, uh, wanna do this again sometime?”

“Often. If, um, if that’s okay with you?”

Barclay nods, “as long as we can still work out together? I like doing that with you.”

“Of course, big guy.”

[justice4sasuke]

We share the same big brain when it comes to Nart opinions, so now that I'm starting Jojo I wonder.... What are your spicy Jojo takes? Idc about spoilers btw so go off 🔥

I can't think of many hot takes off the top of my head...most are like headcanons I take too seriously...if you have any while reading/watching let me know and I'll let you know if I agree though lol.

Part 1:

Speedwagon was gay and was in love with Jonathan.

Part 3:

Polnareff and Avdol were going to go on a date.

Both Jotaro and Kakyoin are autistic.

Part 4:

Josuke is gay, Okuyasu is bi. They are boyfriends.

Hayato is good actually.

Part 5:

Abbacchio is gay and in love with Bruno.

The ages of the main squad are fucking stupid. Bruno and Abbacchio are 20? Fucking absurd. Giorno is 15? More absurd. Really it would be fine if we just ignored it, but fandom has to use this as a reason to hurl abuse at each other over ships.

Part 6:

Jotaro only got married because he thought that is what he was supposed to do thus why it didn't work out. Despite his lack of emotions for the marriage when Jolyne was born he was like "well, shit".

Dio and Pucci have one of the most compelling relationships in Jojo and the fact that we can never talk about it without someone being fucking obtuse bc Araki made Pucci a teenager when they met despite the fact he doesn't look/talk/act/think like one (and he's working to become a PRIEST which you need a degree for) so he didn't have a main villain in his 50s by the time of the story drives me fucking BONKERS.

Part 7:

Johnny and Gyro were in love. Point blank. Period. I'm not accepting other opinions.

Men think Gyro was the main character of part 7. This is absolutely false. Johnny is the emotional core of the story you repressed dolts.

Lucy Steele is one of the most powerful Jojo characters. She should strike fear in the hearts of all who see her. Absolute queen.

Hey Ya is best stand.

Part 8:

Josuke vs Jobin is the best "fight" in Jojo.

Bonus: Araki hates cops and he's right.

[theangryjikooker]

I get the anger. But also anger comes from care. That’s not something that can be denied easily. So factually, you do care.

Now that I have probably pissed you off. I will say this : I absolutely agree that a thirty pages essay on JK and JM’s relationship status is absolutely not needed. That it is not healthy for anyone doing it or reading it. It can get obsessive, it can become toxic. I know what I am talking about: The Sherlock BBC fandom and Supernatural fandom were so similar in those aspects. With fictional characters. But is your anger any better than what they’re doing, at the end of the day? Because this is just fuel. Anger like this, without true argument and passive aggressive behavior will not be taken seriously. I respond here, simply because I see someone who define themselves by their anger and say that they don’t care. Things like that would make anyone worry. You have a whole blog about it.

Anger is a feeling that makes you so full with it. It’s hard to keep with it. It’s hard to manage it. It’s hard to trust it. It’s even harder to look back at our words once the anger is over. There is no consequences, here, on the internet if you let your anger out. But real life is a whole set of rules concerning emotions like these, that takes over. Be careful with it.

I have no idea if my words sound condescending or not. I wish they are not. That they you see they’re sincere and honest. I have no idea why you need a whole blog just to call-out people. But don’t define this space by just simple anger. Because that’s how you get more frustrated, that’s how you get more hurt over time. I hope this place you created on the internet will be positive. I hope you will care more in the future. I hope these seven men will be with along the way.

I have no idea what age-range you are in. But I can tell that you do spend so much time on the internet that a ship is getting time out of your life you could spend with people you can touch and laugh with. A ship and people that you don’t know makes you angry.

I have no idea if I responded with kindness or if I was rude to say all of this. I don’t know who you are. But one post was enough for me to want to send this to you. Because anger is such a hard feeling to feel. It’s torture and so frustrating. I truly do not wish anyone to feel it so much. I hope you are well. I hope you are not angry anyone too. I hope you are smiling from these seven men’s stupidity and charm.

This ask waffles between being (I think?) sincere and (unintentionally?) patronizing, but also misses the point entirely. I'm not insulted, but I'm confused.

This space is "defined" by anger because a lot of the comments I would make on my main, where my persona is largely a 180 from this account, would absolutely not be received well there on the basis that my opinions are different. I could speak as nicely as I want for all they care. People should be able to say things that they disagree with and not be bullied for it, but dare to dream in this fandom. To you, this means I'm no better than they are, but I'm not going to sit idly by without being able to express myself. I won't be addressing specific people because there's no specific person I have these feelings against, but it's the thought train that consumes that side of fandom that drives me bonkers. If you (not you, but general you) happen to fall under the umbrella of "fans" that don't know your own boundaries, that's on you.

I'm not angry with the ship (I love the ship, thanks); I'm deeply annoyed by a certain sub-group of Jkkrs who love to stir the pot and fuck all to anyone who isn't on their side. It would've been the same if I created an alternate Twitter account, but why settle for a set number of characters when I can write more to my heart's content?

I'm not sure what my private life has to do with anything, but because you seem to be vaguely interested: I have the luxury of working from home. I'm aware of that privilege, and it allows me to do a multitude of things at the same time (I'm literally watching Netflix, working, attending an online class I've applied to for fun, and answering this at the same time), that's the beauty of it. I'm quite happy with the life I've built for myself, my social life is healthy, thanks for your curiosity..? Not sure what correlation you're trying to make.

Otherwise, I appreciate your concern. I think. Again, I'm not sure what to make of your ask; I'm getting wrinkles in my forehead because I've been like this the whole time:

P.S. Anger might be hyperbole, but theannoyedjikooker just doesn't have the same pizazz, you know what I mean?

[rukunas]

I swear, I'm so close to going back to my whore days 😩👌

I've been off and on flirting with this guys but he just won't fucking fuck me or ask me out and it's driving me bonkers(he is built like Toji too, which is fuckjwodjwojwodfj). Why can't 2D men be real 🥲 I'm sure I'd be able to reel at least one in, but nooooooope 😩 they ain't here. Sorry, I just needed to rant.

Also, I hope you are doing swell love 💗💕 you are an absolutely amazing being and I am sending all the wonderful vibes your way 💖❤💕

-🐍

OMG ASK HIM TO FUCK YOU !!! and the fact that he’s built like toji... i’m jealous of you

the other day a guy added me on snap bc he saw me on my college insta page... he was super fugly but kept hitting on me and i was like ahaha ummm. he unadded me when he finally caught on that i was not flirting back with him.

anyways, 2d men are superior. their cocks are all 8+ inches too <3