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#like it feels like you are supposed to feel guilty for it
moonstruckme · 2 days
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CONGRATS ON 7K!!!! I've never seen a blog that deserves it so much!
for the bake sale- id love apple pie number 14 (laddered tights). I'm not sure if poly! marauders is an option- if not James would be great!
hope you have an amazing day ☀️
Poly!marauders is always an option ! Hope you have an amazing day too <3
poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 418 words
You hear Sirius’ quiet hiss, followed by James’ “now you’ve done it” before you can even look down. 
You see the chipped polish of your boyfriend’s fingernail at the epicenter of a new tear in your tights. 
“Sirius,” you sigh. “Really?” 
“I’m sorry.” He presses his hand over the tear as though to stop it from spreading. “You said these were supposed to be un-rip-able!” 
“That doesn’t mean you’re supposed to try to rip them.” 
“I wasn’t!” Sirius pouts at you. “I wasn’t, baby, I was just…I was…” 
“He was feeling you up,” James supplies. 
“I was admiring how your tights look on your legs. Through a tactile lens.” 
“Can they be fixed?” Remus asks, leaning over to see. The four of you are squished into a corner booth at a cafe. You and James had a craving for hot chocolate when the weather turned earlier this week, and you’d brought out your new tights for the occasion. 
“No, there’s no fixing them,” you sulk, cutting Sirius a look. “You owe me a new pair.” 
He manages to look chastised. James brushes his hand aside, poking his own finger into the tear. Like he’s pulled a thread, it snakes up the rest of your thigh. 
“Shit!” He pulls back.  
“It’s okay,” you say, though you sound dejected enough that Remus coos and wraps an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side. “There’s really no way to keep it from getting worse.” 
“Oh, so when he does it it’s fine?” Sirius crosses his arms. “When did we get so blatant with our favoritism?”
“They’re already ruined,” you remind him. “Anything anyone does now is just speeding up the inevitable.” 
You take a long, slow sip of your tea while he sits with that, but when your boyfriend starts to look actually guilty you crack. 
“It’s really okay.” You offer him a smile.
“I’ll get you a new pair,” Sirius vows. 
“You don’t have to. I was only giving you a hard time.” 
He narrows his eyes at you playfully. “I know you were. But I want to anyway.” 
“You don’t have the backbone to be a very good tormenter, angel,” James teases you. Remus hums his agreement. “You give in too easily.” 
You scoff. “Like you can talk.” 
“Seal the deal with a kiss?” Sirius simpers at you. 
You roll your eyes. “Fine.” 
You lean towards him, but neither of your other boyfriends seems at all surprised when Sirius leans down to kiss your laddered tights instead. 
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vrystalius · 1 day
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Would be willing to do like ,, Rengoku x reader that takes care of Senjuro while he’s away on missions ? Rengoku deserves some love but so does his little brother <333
Visiting the smallest Rengoku.
You had nothing to do with Kyojuro being away on an important mission, so you decided to visit his younger brother.
Pairing: Kyojuro x reader, platonic/familial Senjuro x reader
(A little angsty by the end)
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Your husband has been away for a couple days now. You prepared a large pot for miso soup and some sweet potatoes for your husband to enjoy when he returns from his long mission. After finishing your chores, you decided to pay Senjuro a visit and to help him out a little. You knew that he’s working hard to keep everything together in his family home with Shinjuro doing nothing but cause a mess and drink all day every day, leaving the youngest Rengoku family member to take care of himself and his drunkard father.
You always pitied Senjuro for needing to grow up so fast and barely experiencing childhood. His mother died too early in his life, meaning he barely remembers her. But you also know how much your husband Kyojuro dotes on his little brother and wishes for him to be nothing but happy. Sometimes, you two thought about moving Senjuro to your house, away from Shinjuro and the verbal abuse.
You made sure to prepare Senjuro a small home cooked meal before heading out. You weren’t sure what his favourite food was, so you went with something Kyojuro would’ve liked: sweet potatoes with some rice and fried vegetables and some Mochi you bought from a vendor on your way to the residence. You were sure Senjuro’ll appreciate some home-cooked food! He hasn’t been cooked for in a while.
Upon your arrival, you sound hin sweeping the porch, removing the yellow and orange coloured and dried leaves.
“The leaves match your hair, Senjuro!”
Hearing your voice call out to him so suddenly made him flinch and stiffen up, but his shoulders visibly relaxed after spotting you. Senjuro smiled shyly and waved.
“My brother isn’t here if that’s why you came to visit. He still should be on a mission.”
You knew that Kyojuro’s little brother still has to get used to you being around and marrying his older brother, but you also heard from him that Senjuro really admires you. You haven’t interacted a lot, but everytime you did, his eyes would sparkle in fascination. He always asked you about what you do and how it is to live with his older brother. He is also very curious about your cooking and even mustered courage (he received a lot of pep-talking from your husband) to ask for some of your recipes!
After setting down for lunch and presenting your home-cooked meal to him, Senjuro thanked you with a bright smile. He really missed getting cooked meals that aren’t prepared by himself. You insisted on cooking for him and Shinjuro, preparing more lunch and dinner. That way, Senjuro doesn’t have to cook anything today and maybe even tomorrow. He was extremely grateful and tried to help you out as much as possible, feeling a little guilty for you cooking, even though you are supposed to be a guest. He watched you cook over your shoulder, tip-toeing to try and get a better view.
“Can you teach me that recipe? It looks very tasty.”
He’s extremely fascinated by your whole being. You’re so kind, so talented and beautiful, no wonder why his brother married you. Senjuro is extremely glad to have you as a sister-in-law.
After the meal, you suggested to play a round of Shogi with him. You knew that Shinjuro barely ever leaves his bedroom, meaning Senjuro has no one to play or talk with. That poor boy was forced to grow up to fast and never got to enjoy his childhood, so you wanted to help him be a child again. Even if for a little while. You two sat on the porch during the game. He was extremely happy during the whole match, ranting about his older brother and papa the whole time.
“One time, my brother was teaching how to use the fire breathing technique, and I saw flames sparking out of my sword! It was small, but Kyojuro was so proud of me! We went to town and got a bowl of ramen together. Our father scolded us for coming home so late…”
Senjuro’s eyes were sparkling and a big smile was plastered on his face while moving his pieces. In the end, you let him win to make him just a little happier. But just as he was about to celebrate, Kyojuro’s crow quietly flew above the residence, landing right beside you two. It was quiet for a couple moments before finally announcing what he came here for.
“The flame pillar! The flame pillar fought Upper Moon Three! Upper Moon Three!”
Silence draped over you three as all of you and Senjuro both knew what was the crow was about to announce next. You glanced over at the youngest of the Rengoku’s.
His hands were tightly gripping his hakama pants as his gaze was fixated on the shogi pieces. Tears started forming in the corners of his eyes.
You knew your husband won’t be coming back for the miso soup and sweet potatoes you left at home for him.
💠
I am going to sob during Akaza’s backstory reveal and death, but I probably sobbed more over Kyojuro’s. Senjuro doesn’t deserve anything that happened to him and I’m so glad Shinjuro changed for the better in the end!!. Thank you for requesting this and sorry for the wait!
Anyways, make sure to EAT, SLEEP and DRINK enough!!
Take care of yourselves <3
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kaiser1ns · 2 days
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#. LIKE A BOY IN LUV
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featuring 𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗼 𝘆𝗮𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗼 𝘅 𝗳𝗲𝗺!𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿
fluff + slight angst + slight suggestive. welcome to the top 10 moments in your relationship with the one and only yamato!
word count :: 3,4 k. he may be a little bit ooc but we all love him anyway
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DATING ENDO YAMATO is its own category of experience. You wanted a boyfriend, but instead, you got a loyal, loving, wild man who's always by your side with open arms, gift bags, and tons of surprises because he's unpredictable and you never know what he's thinking and what he's going to do.
"You remind me of Alice in Wonderland." walking in the park enjoying the pleasant night air when he spoke squeezing your hand and making you turn your gaze to him. He was smiling, what he was saying clearly really mattered, even if it came out of nowhere. "And I'm the Chesire Cat. I'm always there for you, even when I'm not." Now that you thought about it, he really did resemble the fantasy character. A grinning cat who teaches Alice "the rules" of Wonderland — him teaching you how the delinquent world works. Sarcastic and playful, he can appear and disappear in any location. He is quick to play jokes on others, he is mad, but unlike the others, he admits it with pride. But despite that he is giving you advice on which path to take during your journey called life, practically acting as your wise guide to the point where you're overly joyous to see him every time.
HIS KISSES ARE ALWAYS surprising and unexpected. One day he will kiss you like there's no tomorrow, fast but smooth because he can't get enough of you, the flavor of your lipstick is long gone when you feel his lips making rough motions, a little biting on your lower lip. His hands can't find a place on your body, but you are still as close as ever. He smiles into every kiss, and you can feel it, you can feel his love.
But there are occasions when he takes his time with you. There is no rush or insatiability, only you and him under the dim lights. Slowly, everything is so slow that it makes you dizzy. He kisses you everywhere starting from your face, and then your lips are doing a slow dance, so captivating that they make you want more of him. Your hands play with his hair and his holding you tight on your waist, giving it a light squeeze once in a while, because this is where you are supposed to be. Every part you are insecure about, he will kiss it. Every beauty mark or scar you don't seem to adore, he will kiss it. He will take all of your insecurities and pain away just by worshiping you — you are a Goddess and should be treated as such. Loving someone, and devoting yourself to them takes time, but for him, time has stopped and only you exist in that moment. Only you are important and he will show how deeply he has fallen for you.
HE IS OBSESSED WITH YOU to the point where there was no way out, and you liked that, seeing someone go out of their way to make sure you were okay. But that didn't mean you didn't give him anything in return. Often your dates were outside, whether in a coffee shop, a mall, or an arcade, and every time he paid, it made you uncomfortable and guilty. There was no need for him to pay for everything, but he insisted that you keep your money. And so you saved every bill and penny to give him the perfect birthday surprise when he gets home. 
You planned this for months, knowing exactly what would make him happiest. dolling yourself up, every detail perfect, every thought just for him. The apartment was dark, lit only by the soft glow of candles and the path of rose petals leading to you. You stood there, holding the cake with his favorite flavor, your lips curved into a smile so genuine and full of love that it lit up the room brighter than any candle.
When he opened the front door, his eyes widened in shock, then softened in pure affection. He followed the path slowly, taking in every petal, every flicker of the candles, but mostly he took in you. “Happy birthday, my love!” you whispered, your voice a melody just for him. For a moment, he was speechless. no words could convey the overwhelming emotions flooding through him. Your home was transformed, but you were the true gift. He couldn’t help the tears that welled up in his eyes — tears of pure joy. He wasn’t Endo Yamato, the prodigy, or the man who carried the world for others. He was just your Yamato, your boyfriend who deserved to be loved so deeply and sincerely.
Without saying a word, he gently set the cake aside and pulled you into a tight embrace, kissing you with all the love he had to offer. “You are the best gift in my life.”
ENDO YAMATO TAKES YOU TO A POOL HALL at least a few times a month and you still haven't learned how to play. But it didn't matter to him as long as he spent time with you and now it was your turn, he was leading you with the points, of course. "Come on, sweets. you can do it." Easy to say, but hard to achieve. You bent down and set the cue, the angle was perfect and you just had to hit the white ball using moderate force. Yes, but no. The white ball went in instead of the colored one and you heard your boyfriend laugh.
"Let me help you then.” He came up behind you, his body touching yours as he placed his hands on top of yours, caging you in his strong arms. You swallowed hard too, not that you weren't used to physical contact with him but it just felt different now. "It's simple, doll. You just have to aim well and hold the pole firmly, but not too hard. And then–” and your ball went into the pocket, but only because he controlled your movements. “You score!” he pulled away from you but you could still feel his warmth. "No matter how hard I try I can't…” but that's okay because no matter if you can or not, he is always the winner, but you won his heart. Fair enough, right?
EVEN A SECOND WHERE HE hasn't seen you, heard you or doesn't know where you are will drive him crazy, and at the moment you were neither picking up your phone nor answering his messages and he was expressing emotions he didn't know he had. Your boyfriend had a lot of trust in you, he never had doubts for a second but when you come home drunk, you don't know where you are, your hair is messy, your makeup is smudged and you can barely walk on those heels. He couldn't help thinking of something he shouldn't. You hiccuped as you tried to take them off and even though he was feeling a thousand new emotions of anger he still helped you up and left you lying on the couch. “Yamato~ I missed you!” if you didn't smell like someone else's perfume he would tell you the same thing. Endo poured water for you and there were pills on the side in case you got sick as he sat next to you but not as close as usual. 
“You were with someone else?” you couldn't even understand the question, you couldn't understand what situation you were in right now, and that smile of his was gone. Rubbing hands over your eyes, you stood up from a lying position. "I was with my girl friends. I told you a few days ago.” 
You groaned, trying to sit up, but the room spun in all directions, the lights seemed too bright, his voice too loud. "Yamato... I told you," you muttered, fumbling with your words. His usual cheerfulness was replaced by something you hadn't seen before—jealousy, frustration, anger? It didn't feel like him. "I was with my friends... and their cousin drove us home. He was just looking out for us. That's it. Nothing else," you repeated, blinking up at him, trying to steady your thoughts through the alcohol haze.
He wasn't convinced. Crossing his arms, tapping his feet, glancing at your phone—dead and useless. "Convenient, isn't it? You come home smelling like some guy, looking like you’ve been out all night doing God knows what, and your phone is dead. How am I supposed to believe you when all I see is the opposite?"
You winced at the accusation, your heart pounding harder now from more than just the headache. "Yamato, you know me. I wouldn’t—"
"Do I?" he interrupted, voice harsher than ever before. "Because right now, I think I judged you too fast from the start." His words cut deeper than anything you'd ever imagined he could say. He never doubted you, never questioned your loyalty, and now? 
Tears blur your vision as exhaustion overwhelms you. "I don't care if you believe me or not right now. Go crash at your place or Takiishi's, clear your head, do whatever. I just... I can't do this now." You tried standing, wobbling slightly as you grabbed the doorknob on the front door, holding yourself steady. “If I'm such a person to you, then why are you still here?”
Endo stared at you, his anger softening into something that looked like regret, but he didn’t need another push. You looked and were sure in what you said, and he started something he couldn't finish. Grabbing his shoes, he stormed out as you slammed the door so hard, that the whole apartment seemed to shake—but nothing compared to the ache in your chest. Crumbled to the floor, sobbing, it was clear: the person you loved most had just hurt you in a way you never imagined
ARGUMENTS WITH ENDO YAMATO are bad, and by that, I mean really bad. You blocked him in every social media app, and his number because you don't want to see or hear him. Even blocked him on Roblox and unfriended him in any game you both played. You just need rest to gain your composure, to focus on your mentality, and not have him suffocating you with his obsessive tendencies. It doesn't get any better when you suddenly receive an email from [email protected] with the title "i miss you, please don't be mad." with a written roman in the text field saying how sorry he is, how he will make sure not to do that anymore and how much he loves you and if you can open the door because he is freezing. 
You can't believe this man and how he will do everything to be with you. Your eyes widen as you go to the window of your apartment and see him there, wearing only a top and jeans, for all his outer garments are in your wardrobe, and you are wearing one, despite saying you hate him. But he will withstand the cold, he always withstands absolutely anything, and to be away from you seemed like torture. You felt another vibration from your phone and it was him again, sending you another email. "i know you see me and i'll sit here as long as it takes♡"
He has no idea the way he makes you feel, you still let him in your heart, and in your home after two hours of him sitting on the bench and when you go to open the door for him, he is hugging you tight, he will never let you go, never make you mad again.
THE TYPE OF BOYFRIEND WHO DOES TIKTOK TRENDS with you, will it be dancing, putting a finger down, or when his whole face is covered in red prints from your lips and lipstick. Almost everything is done. He liked the new trend, especially the song, and part that was on every edit that came out on the for you page. According to him, it perfectly described your relationship and how not to take a video of you fixing yourself in the bathroom mirror putting on some make-up while he was behind you, phone in hand, and the music playing.
“Back to the kitty, 'cause she's kinda pretty. I couldn't stop lookin’ at her ta-ta-ta…” he panned the camera and you saw his reflection moving the phone to your chest and then to your face after you were done with the lipstick and he smiled in the mirror. “Face.” You didn't pay much attention to him, not when you were doing the same thing when there was trendy couple stuff. Flipping the front camera around and quickly set up the phone on the counter as he then quickly walked behind you again and wrapped his arms around your waist, his tattoos on full display as your hands were on his.
“Me and cat mama rolled into the distant fog,” he was looking straight into the mirror where your eyes met and he just smirked, kissing your neck and then looking down at the camera, gently squeezing your torso before the last line came out from the phone.
“Little did she know I'ma nasty dog.” his hands went up to grab your chin and turn your face to his so he could kiss you. The clip was done and you didn't know how many times the audio would repeat, but he wasn't done at all. He held you tight, and he didn't stop, and you were out of breath but your hands went to his chest and pushed him to get the hint. You both couldn't catch your breath because you just had a little make-out session in the bathroom. He went to turn the phone off before saving the video and looking back at you. “Want to ditch the others and continue in the be–?” 
“Yes.” you didn't have to think so much, you were categorical and so was he. Noroshi can have fun themselves fighting people left and right while your boyfriend will show you a different type of fun.
BEING HIS GIRLFRIEND MEANT THAT you are used to hanging out with Takiishi Chika a lot too. You were at the mall, purchase after purchase but you two didn't hold any bags, Endo held everything, and even when you wanted to get something he insisted that a princess like you should hold nothing but a pretty smile on her face. The redhead didn't even look back, he didn't care but you did. “Chika, stop." for some reason he listened to you, maybe it was because you had known each other since childhood and had a great influence on him. It might not matter that much to him, but thanks to him, you met Endo and more or less he had to be nice to him. 
You went to get some bags from Endo, giving them to Takiishi who hadn't reached his hand out at all. At first, the two of you made eye contact, your eyes more insistent than his as he looked away, losing this fight as he took the bags from your hands and you smiled sweetly. “Thank you, Chika.” Turning to your boyfriend who was stunned at how you got none other than Takiishi Chika to carry his own shopping bags. He blushed and laughed a little at this heroic deed of yours. He didn't know how you even did it, how you had such a huge influence over the two of them, especially him. One of his hands was now free and you grabbed it as you started to walk forward. “What a woman you are. Please, teach me your ways.”
HIM HAVING TATTOOS MEANS ONLY ONE THING and that is you can turn him into a coloring book. Sitting on his lap, his arms outstretched and you were creating art – pink, purple, blue, whatever markers and eye shadows were on his buffy arms. You were very focused on making his scorpion tattoo shine, literally because you put pink glitter on it and drew a cute little face. "My nose itches." looking up at the ceiling, wiggling his nose as you carefully made a ribbon on the scorpion's tail, "You have to wait, baby." Of course, he had to wait for the good things, and art is a slow and painstaking process in which the artist shows and expresses their emotions in the paintings. He let out a soft sigh, knowing he had no choice but to endure it if he wanted to keep you happy. His body was a canvas that you could look at all day, it was so intoxicating, he had chosen interesting designs, and how he arranged them ... just beautiful.
“Isn’t it the palette you just bought?” The compass tattoo on his right hand now gleamed with bright colors, and the flames were reddish and fiery, as they reflected your burning love for him. “Yes. Now let me focus, please.” You smiled as you turned the star on his middle finger into a vibrant one with cute eyes, straight out of Super Mario. For the grand finale, you applied some eye shadow to the infinity symbol tattoo on his neck, turning it into a delicate pink bow. "Go look at yourself in the mirror!" you quickly got up from his lap, gently taking his hand with yours so as not to smudge anything.
"It's like a unicorn threw up on me," he grinned, running a finger over his colorful scorpion. He turned slightly to the side to see his back, the Frank tattoo he had with Takiishi was colored in pretty blue hues. "Cute." He gave you a quick peck. Maybe he should let you do this more often—it definitely made you happy.
ENDO YAMATO LOVED TO ANNOY YOU as much as he loved to make you happy. No matter where or when he nagged at you every second you ignored him – maybe because you wanted to take a nap on this lovely afternoon after a stressful and busy day. To have some peace and quiet, but no, someone decided to give you light pokes on the butt, making you let out a heavy sigh. You were almost close to drifting off into the world of dreams, you were so snuggly wrapped up in the blanket, cuddling with the stuffed toy, until someone named Endo Yamato decided it was a good idea to wake you up. "Stop it. Either go to sleep or go annoy Chika." But the touches didn't stop even when you turned on your other side, you mumbled something, it sounded a little like you were screaming into your pillow. You stood up angrily and threw the stuffed toy and pillow at him. "Leave me alone!"
"It will never happen, not even in your dreams." it was your last drop of patience, the last string you could pull as you pushed him off the bed with all your might and he fell on the ground with a loud thud, "Stay down in Hell." Wrapping yourself in the blanket again, and though your pillow was on the ground with him, his was still on the bed, and by the time you placed it under your head, Endo, with all his weight and insolence, lay on top of you. You started banging your hand on the mattress like a time-out because you couldn't breathe. He rose as you gasped and quickly flipped him over, straddling him with your legs as he held your wrists. “Yamato, I will kill you in every possible way.” "Don't, I'm going to like it." that nasty lovely smile on his dumb-looking handsome face, you just wanted to wipe it off and when you realized the position you were in, your nerves just couldn't take it. How can he annoy you and want extra attention only when you are sleepy? You immediately stood up but his arms pulled you down laying on his chest and his heart was beating like crazy because he had fallen madly for you…or in this case, you fell for him. Your breathing started to calm, your eyes closing, his fingers playing with your hair making you relax as much as possible "I love you, you know…" he whispered, wrapping his arms around you and leaving a kiss on your forehead. "I know."
Snuggling into him, but how much more as you were already a part of him, forever and always. "But you'll still be sleeping on the couch." he only hummed in response, slowly drifting to sleep but he knew your love was better than any dream because you were his entire world, the one that made him, the hopeless boy, experience something real.
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taglist :: @maruflix @heartkaji @17020 @stunie @kazuhaiku @meidiary @nyxypoo @mydream-synopsis @slerixx
©2024 kaiser1ns do not copy, repost or modify my work
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possiblyreallyme · 2 days
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Once a Beckman girl, always a Beckman girl
warning: very spicey/smutty but no actual penetration, toys (vibrator), size kink if you squint, big dick benn canon.
hello! i got this idea from one of my favorite one piece writer on tumbler, @innerfare!! everyone, go check them out!! thank you so much!!
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"Come on, honey. Don't you wanna come back to my cabin?" Shanks asked drunkenly through his hiccups and wolfish grin, staggering over the countertop to hold onto the wood and wink at you.
You'd giggle, but you shook your head, cleaning the counter when he knocked over a glass of alcohol with his one elbow.
"I'm sorry, sir," You told him with that sweet smile, though you didn't seem very sorry. "I already have plans with your first mate."
Shanks backed off immediately, nodding his head and walking away before you could ask why. Even in his drunken state, he knew it was a complete waste of time to try and woo one of Benn's girls.
Plus, his first mate wasn't one to sleep around, so Shanks knew better than to interfere when he needed a night to relax. He was drunk, not heartless.
"Tough luck," Lucky Roux murmured through his mouthful of meat when Shanks told the table of pirates about the barmaid, not even looking up to console his captain. "No one gets one of Benn's girls."
"Yeah, no shit," The captain murmured with a hiccup, before slouching against the table with a few more, spinning a bottle cap around like a pouty child.
"I just wish we knew what he does to get girls so crazy," Yasopp replied under his breath, though he didn't necessarily care to keep his voice low. Anyone who knew Benn knew he was a charmer, even if he didn't go around flirting as much as his captain.
If only they knew. If only they knew how their Benn could drag his fingers across a lady's skin and make her feel like she was a work of art. How as much as Shanks told him one-night stands and hookups shouldn't last more than 30 minutes, he just can't leave a girl like that.
Was he not supposed to stretch her with his fingers? How was she supposed to fit him if he didn't— while you're at it, doesn't it feel better when you let her ride your face until she's squealing and pulling at your hair? And it would weight much too heavy on his conscious if he left a woman alone in bed when she's tired and sore and in need of some love, when he could put his left-over energy to use and make her a nice meal, maybe give her a massage to ease the ache he caused.
Of course a man like him was so popular with the ladies. He was practically made for women, with how he could memorize your body like the back of his hand, as if he's known you his whole life, but he only just learned your damn name.
He'll coo in that deep voice of his, say things a pirate most certainly shouldn't be saying to someone he'll never see again, with that charming smile on his face and slowly rolling his hips into yours, thumbing at your clit until you've coated the sheets in as much cum as you could give him.
And yet, he's never come across as a player. He isn't a womanizer; he isn't someone like Shanks who can't be trusted to remember his partners names after a week. He's tough as nails and brutal, but to the women whose hearts still throb for the first mate, he was a sweetheart. The type to empathize and sooth when he's just a little too big to fit all the way in your cunt, wiping your tears with kisses and assure you that you've taken more than enough for him to enjoy, so don't feel guilty.
"Benn," You're whining that night, just after you close and the Red Force was snickering when Beckman puts his hand on the small of your back, dwarfing you so intensely you felt your face go hot. You should have fucking guessed that a man with hands bigger than your head had a cock to match.
"Shh, I know, sweetheart. Just relax," He soothed, large fingers parting your labia and pulling up the hood of your clit, circling the little nerve with an ease that made you wonder if he'd done this before with you.
You knew good and damn well you'd remember if a man like this had ever been with you before, but he hadn't even taken his eyes off your face and yet he found your clit almost faster than you could.
You couldn't focus on that though, already fighting off delirium you only thought a cock could bring you, taken by surprise how he could get you so dumb when all he had done was fuck you with that big black vibrator. He kept you sat upright on his desk by letting you lay your head on his shoulder, fluttering kisses against your jaw and rubbing your back when you clenched around the toy and whined for more, soothing you with his whispers like a father soothing his baby in the dead of night.
"Not yet, little one." It had been not yet all damn night, and you were ready for more. Eyes locked on the tent in his pants, large and clearly thick enough to stretch you to your limit, but you couldn't find it in you to care how much it would hurt. He cared though, and thank God for that. He couldn't live with himself if one of his sweethearts got hurt when it was his job to make sure they were well taken care of and happy, even though Shanks tried to explain to him that his job was simply to get off and go.
When he finally pulled the vibrator out and let you slump against hi desk, he kissed along the inside of your thighs and cleaned up the mess dripping to your knees, murmuring enough poetic praise to keep you high on orgasm for longer than your ego appreciated.
"Aw, baby doll," He chuckled faintly against your cunt, a smile stretching across his lips when you squirmed and whined when his stubble brushed along your sensitive thighs. "You still wanna take my cock, don't you?"
"Yes." Your mother would be ashamed at how fast you answered the pirate, who merely chuckled again and lifted you into his arms.
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xtractors · 1 day
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As my account says I am just here for the headcanon and The angst. So stick with me. [It looks longer than it is, but you can skip the bracketed section for my headcannon]
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I've been thinking since I saw Deadpool and Wolverine whether Wolverine knew who Wade was as Deadpool? I came to a pretty solid conclusion, because when Paradox zaps Deadpool away, wolverine's first reaction isn't to be like, "So what's going on?", it's to automatically try and jump Paradox for disappearing Wade [which like maybe it wasn't because he knew it was Wade. Maybe it's just because he just really enjoyed flirting with him, but I think it's cuz he knows who Wade is]. Then in the void it's to attack Wade, which he doesn't seem to be surprised about his healing factor.
And this led me to, if Wade existed in worst wolverine's universe and had a healing factor. Then he probably could have been a version of origin's Deadpool?
And I have decided for THE ANGST, that absolutely origins happened, and worst Wolverine saw what happened to origin's Deadpool.
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[And here's my thing. I really wish origins had focused more on his relationship with his teammates, especially with the whole him and Wade making eyes at each other. Ignoring my feelings on the Kyla Silverfox lady, like I really wish the movie had just focused more on his teammates and relationship there. I think that he should have been "friends" with Wade and I think when he said "they finally found a way to shut you up" it should have been more emotional, and hurt and less sassy. I also really wish that Wade hadn't been just a mindless machine. Which I suppose we don't know how actually conscious he was, but could you imagine? Wade who's always expressed himself by being sassy and dealt with his trauma and being a mercenary by making jokes being unable to speak at all and unable to control himself as he attacks his friend?
Like I seriously don't think origins Deadpool was that bad of a character. I think there was just no emotional attachment to him. Cuz the whole mouth Sewn shut thing could have meant so much more if Wade was actually friends with Logan. ]
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Anyways, back to the plot.
So my thing is if there is origins Deadpool in worst wolverines timeline, do you think worst Wolverine ever just thinks about it?Do you think he ever has nightmares about his Wade being the one with the mouth sewn shut?? Unable to make his crude, but adorable jokes? Unable to call him Peanut and honey badger? Nightmares where his Wade, the one who saved him and gave him meaning and a new life, is staring into his eyes, as Logan's voice echos "They finally found a way to shut you up, huh." What if he wakes up guilty, a bitter taste on his tongue hearing how cruel those words really were to someone who means the world to him, someone who he never truly wants to shut up. Worrying his mind over not being able to save him once, not just not being able to save him, but having to kill him? Every once in awhile when he tells Wade "do you ever shut up?"[affectionate], he gets a flash of origins Deadpool in his head and goes quiet and regrets saying it?
could you imagine the angst?
Logan seeing his good "friend" who expressed his trauma through never shutting up unable to talk?Logan's "they finally found a way to shut you up" being breathless and painful and not just mean
Do you think Logan listens to Deadpool chatter and ever think about origins Deadpool and regrets not being able to save him? Regrets that one his last lines was taunting him for finally being unable to ramble?
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hi!! I’m very aware that this was requested on the 13th of August, and literally over a month later I’ve finally managed to write it up. I feel unbelievably guilty for not getting it done sooner and I’m sorry it even took this long. I really really hope you enjoy it and I’m ever grateful for the patience 🤍🤍
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title: there’s always another mystery
pairing: jameson hawthorne x reader
synopsis: avery kylie grambs is spending a little too much time with your boyfriend than you’d like… but when jameson starts lying about it questions are raised and tension rises until it all bubbles over
warnings: mild swearing, violence, assault
a/n: the synopsis sounds really cringy so forgive me, this fic is kind of long and very dialogue heavy and ermmm… I hope you enjoy the ending ;)
tag list: @bewitchingkisses @whatsamongus @wish-i-were-heather @inmyheaddd @never-enough-novels @sweetlikeanangel @midiosaamor @sweetreveriee @emelia07 @f4iry-bell @zaraaaabear @thoughtdaughter3 @benny1989fredd @elysianwayy77 @maybxlle @sheisntyou @anintellectualintellectual @aleatorio1234 @adalia-jaycee @off-to-the-r4ces @lyra-kane @reminiscentreader @lyrakanefanatic @imaseabear @elizaa31
You sit on the bed waiting for Jameson to arrive. You wonder how long he’ll take this time. You’d just seen him and Avery ascending the set of stairs that lead to his dead uncle’s wing. Him and Avery. The pretty new comer with those big hazel eyes and long soft hair, pocketing a billionaire’s fortune overnight. She had it all: the looks, the brains, the humour. She was perfection and that bugged you greatly. She was a mystery.
Literally. When Tobias had finally decided to fall asleep forever, she was the result, the heiress, the consequence. She was big masterful puzzle had popped out of nowhere, from nothing. Not that you hadn’t had you fair share of experience with that. You’d earned yourself a scholarship to one of the most prestigious private schools in Texas and raised from the ashes into a burning flame. Then you’d met Jameson Hawthorne.
He had always been an interesting character, you had just never expected his interest in you. You were the scholarship kid nobody knew or cared enough to know and somehow he was intrigued. He had found you studying the the library one day and the two of you just clicked, it was like you’d known each other for years. He’d walked you home that night and had done so ever since. From that day on you were the closest of friends. It wasn’t long before you met his brothers, mostly absent mother and extremely judgemental grandfather. Hawthorne house became a second home. The two of you sat for hours, mostly on the rooftop, staring up at an endless sky of stars and talking about anything and everything. You actually don’t think there’s a topic you haven’t covered. Everything seemed to be going swimmingly… then he started dating Emily.
From the beginning, you didn’t like her at all, but you bit your tongue from pouring out your true feelings to Jameson when he’d asked for an opinion on her. You didn’t want to make his relationship feel awkward. She was everything you didn’t want him to be with. And she wasn’t you. It shattered you, but you saw how his face lit up when he mentioned her name and you vowed you wouldn’t ruin that for him. To see him that happy was worth it.
You should’ve trusted your gut. Everyday since she broke his heart, you beat yourself up for not saying anything. There were so many chances and you took none of them. She used him, abused him and left him to rot, you supposed she didn’t account for that fact that you’d be there to save him. And then she died. It was one destructive milestone after another. Explosion after explosion. But you helped Jameson through the hardest time of his life, you fixed him when he was too broken to mend.
It wasn’t until then that you realised you loved him. I mean you’d always known you’d loved him, but never in a romantic way, it had always felt so plutonic. But judging by the pure fury that built up inside of you when Emily was mentioned, the passionate way you protected and defended him in situations and the fact that you wanted nothing more than to kiss him until he couldn’t speak, you were pretty sure you were in love. But you never acted on the feeling, too afraid you’d ruin the closeness you had. It wasn’t until one night when you’d been stargazing together that he took your face in his gentle palms and kissed your tender lips. The whole act took you by surprise suddenly, but it didn’t stop you from kissing back. It felt so natural, so normal, like it was supposed to be this way. He was sweeter than you’d imagined but in the best way possible.
“I’ve always loved you,” he’d whispered as you’d pulled away, “always.”
“I’ve always loved you too,” you’d smiled shyly, cheeks flushed with colour, “and to be honest I don’t think I’ll ever stop.”
You can’t remember when it was established that he was your boyfriend but from that kiss onwards, that’s what he was to you. He was still your best friend but in a different way. There was more chemistry and kissing, but the banter remained the same. The two of you were actually planning to go on a backpacking trip around Europe but then Tobias had died and it was another round of pain and healing for Jameson, who turned to alcohol for respite. But then the will happened and Avery Kylie Grambs had appeared out of nowhere and the old man’s final game had unfurled. So the mystery girl had been an adjustment for you to say the least.
Avery wasn’t bad. In fact you liked her a lot, you could see yourself forming a friendship with her, a tight bond but the problem was the sheer amount of time she was spending with your boyfriend. After discovering she was the key to solving his grandfather’s final mystery Jameson became obsessed. He craved the answers, thirsted for knowledge. You didn’t mind at first, you let him play his game, you only ever objected the dangerous parts when he risked himself getting hurt. Other than that you said nothing. Then he let on that this all had something to do with Emily. Emily had destroyed him, from inside out. A broken, bitter shell was formed over the real Jameson. You had worked so hard to get him to see that he wasn’t broken or damaged and you feared this might undo it.
But you knew how important Emily had been, how much of his life she’d ruined, you knew Jameson needed the closure and Avery would help him to get there, but after that you expected their interaction to die down. But they didn’t. Not in the slightest. You weren’t jealous at first, you trusted Jameson and didn’t see Avery as a threat, but after a while the meetings felt too frequent and too elongated. It was a little suspicious. When you’d asked Jameson he insisted it was all part of the game.
But then that game finished and it opened up another. Of course there always had to be more to a mystery. They were Hawthorne’s. But you’d had enough, you were tired of the endless myserties. Was it so selfish to want things to go back to how they were before? When the old man’s games were not as dangerous, a little less time consuming and uninvloving of recent billionaire girls.
You’re reeled in from your deep train of thought as Jameson walks in. You look up from your desk, placing your pen down. You flash him a sweet smile in which he returns.
“So where have you been?” you ask, a hint of a forged giggle in the back of your throat.
“Nowhere,” he shrugs, the blatant lie so easily escaping his lips cuts right through your heart.
“Nowhere with brick dust on your blazer and shoes?” you raise an challenging eyebrow, arms folded across your chest.
“I climbed a wall,” he says. Lie number two, you make a mental note.
“I saw you with Avery and Xander in Toby’s wing,” you say bluntly, your face expressionless so he can’t read it.
“Are you spying on me?” he replies, gaping.
You give a delicate shrug in response and don’t answer the question directly, “what were you whispering about?”
“What do you mean?” he furrows his brow, confused.
He’s playing dumb. Fine. He can play dumb. But he won’t able to for much longer.
“I mean what were you and Avery just whispering about,” you ask directly, your tone flat as the tyre you’d burst on his car earlier that morning.
He hesitates. He doesn’t want to tell you, that’s obvious.
“Oh, was it personal?” you ask, raising an eyebrow, opting a cold, curt, feigned sort of concern to your tone.
“Oh no,” he mumbles, “well kind of…Tobias Hawthorne is alive.”
You try not to the let your jaw drop, “your grandfather?”
How had that slimy bastard managed to fake his own death and-
He shakes his head, “my uncle.”
Of course, why hadn’t you seen it sooner? Him and Avery going into his wing, the sneaking around. But then how is the question, Toby had died before Jameson had even been born.
“And so the plot thickens,” you muse, pursing your lips.
“As always,” he says, flashing you a lopsided grin that was so like him, it reminded you of the old Jameson. The one that you got closer and closer to forgetting the less you saw of him.
“Who else knows?” you ask.
“The family,” he shrugs in response.
“And Avery?” you prompt.
“She knows,” he nods, not meeting your eyes.
You raise an eyebrow, “you didn’t mention her name?”
“She was implied when I said family,” he replies.
“She was and I wasn’t,” you ask, the words not being filtered through your brain before you blurt them out. You don’t know why it hurt you so much, it just did.
“It’s not like that,” he shakes his head.
“Okay,” you reply flatly
He shoots you a knowing look and sighs, “y/n.”
“What? I said okay,” you exclaim, throwing your hands up into the air, “that means it’s okay, I’m okay, we’re all okay.”
“You don’t sound okay,” he says gently.
“Well I’m fine,” you snap.
“I didn’t mean it like that, of course you’re part of this family,” Jameson replies, trying to make up for it.
“Forget it, I don’t care,” you retort.
“Common y/n,” he groans.
“No it’s fine, I don’t care,” you shrug, very obviously caring as your voice is high pitched and you’re being far too defensive, “do what you want.”
“She just worked it out,” he explains, “she found out that-“
“I said I don’t care,” you say sharply, eyes pinned to his.
“I know you do,” he murmurs, taking a step closer.
“No I don’t,” you shake your head in denial, “end of story, what’s for dinner?”
“I know I’ve been with her a lot recently,” he sighs.
“A lot is an understatement,” you blurt out, unable to stop the thoughts that circle your mind from finally surfacing.
“It was all part of the game, you understand,” he says as a statement, not a question.
“Of course I understand,” you reply, your voice a little colder than you’d intended but it’s too late to take it back.
For a split second hurt flashed across Jameson’s features but he swiftly continues, “it was the old man’s game.”
“It always is with you,” you say curtly, with an eye roll.
“You knew what you were getting into when you became my girlfriend,” he says, growing irritated, “I warned you-“
“Getting into?” you scoff.
“The old man always has a game,” he presses on, regaining his cool.
“And you always play it,” you snap, the fury inside of your raging a little too violently to be tamed.
“I have to play,” he says, his voice strained.
“No. You don’t. You think you have to play and your grandfather knew that,” you reply, “he knew you had a thirst to play and wouldn’t resist. Prove him wrong Jamie, make him stir for the flipping grave.”
“And what if I don’t want to do that,” he asks, raising his voice slightly.
“Then you’re not the Jameson I know,” you murmur in a low, dark voice.
“Maybe I’m not anymore,” he shrugs, “people change.”
“No,” you shake your head, “people have changed you, one person in particular.”
“Avery is just a friend,” he rolls his eyes, “I don’t understand why you’re getting so hotheaded about it!”
“You’re dimming yourself down for her,” you yell.
“So what?” Jameson challenges, making the volume of your voice.
“That’s not you,” you tell him.
“Maybe it is now,” he cocks his head to the side.
“You know you’re just talking shit,” you spit.
“I like her company,” he shrugs, “and I don’t want to prove the old man wrong, I want to make him proud.”
He’s trying to get under your skin and you know it. He’s doing a good job.
“You can’t live your life trying to prove something to him, he won’t be proud, he’s dead Jameson,” you snap.
“I know he’s dead,” he shouts, “I don’t need you to tell me.”
“Good, now that information is consolidated maybe you’ll come back and live your life,” you say, the harshness in your tone making your throat ache.
“I am living my life,” he retorts.
“Running off with girls to the Laughlin’s cottage at 3am, that’s living your life?” you ask.
“Is this still about Avery?” he asks, then laughs, “you’re pathetic.”
“I’m pathetic?” you yell, “you have spent the majority of the past few weeks at her side, working this shit out and I’ve been patient and I let it happen and I waited but now there’s more to this mystery and I can’t do it again and it’s not fair for you to put me in that situation again. So forgive me if I’m sounding a little pathetic.”
“Fair? My uncle is still out there, still alive,” he replies.
“You never even knew him,” I roll my eyes.
“He’s family,” he roars.
Something about Jameson was that he was loyal to the bone when it came to family.
I shrug, “so was your grandfather and look how he treated you.”
“Don’t speak a word against him,” he says, his voice low, warning, dangerous
“You were never good enough for him and that killed you,” I reply, my voice failing to stay stable, “he broke you and I helped fix you and now we’re going back around the same cycle. Why are you still letting him continue to break you?”
“I said don’t speak a WORD against him!” he tells, his voice powerful
You could cry. You feel like it. But you don’t. For some reason you’re past tears now.
“But when you did it was okay?” I scream back, “when you’d come to your bedroom a wreck and shit talk him, who listened to you then huh? Don’t throw this all back in my face now, don’t you fucking dare.”
“I’m not trying to-“
“Well you are,” you cut him off,
He runs a hand through his hair and shakes his head, “look I don’t know what the hell you’re on this afternoon but-“
“What the hell I’m on?” you scoff.
His face softens and so does his tone, “all this arguing we’re doing, it’s not us,” he says, “it never has been so are we really going to carry on this stupid fight?”
“I don’t know, why don’t you ask Avery?” you ask, it’s petty but you didn’t feel like being mature in this moment
“This keeps circling back to her,” he sighs with an eye roll.
“You have spent the entirety of the morning with her,” I stated “again.”
“I don’t see anything wrong with that,” he says.
“Seriously?” I ask, my jaw hanging slack.
“What?”
“You know what, it doesn’t even matter,” you shake your head and begin to walk out.
“Sweetheart,” he says, lunging forwards to grab your arm. You spin around and can see the desperation seeping from his eyes.
“I’m going out,” you tell him harshly,
“Where?” he asks immediately.
“For a walk,” you shrug, going to turn again. But he holds you firmly in his grip.
“I’ll come with you,” he says.
“No, I need headspace right now,” you snap coldly.
“Okay, that’s fine,” he nods, eyes wide with understanding. You hated that he was being so nice when you were supposed to be mad at him, it wasn’t fair, “but at least take a bodyguard with you.”
“No,” you immediately say.
“Yes,” he argues back.
“I’m not one of you, Jameson,” you quip. You can see in his face that pains him but you’re too furious to care, “people aren’t coming for me, I’m not taking a bodyguard.”
“Look I’m sorry about before but-“
“It’s not about you Jameson,” you yell, “I just need a walk.”
“Okay, but I’m still sorry and please baby, take a bodyguard with you,” he begs.
“I’m not going to,” you reply, “I need to be alone.”
“Fine, okay then,” he shrugs, pretending not to care, “yeah fine, go have fun in nature or something.”
“I will,” you snap, charging out, slamming the door behind you.
***
You start walking with no intention of going anywhere. In a headspace of anger, your pace is swift and dominant. You needed air, you needed a clear head, you needed to get away. Bringing a bodyguard felt claustrophobic. You didn’t want another person breathing down your neck. You just needed to be alone for a while. A million and one thoughts swarm your mind. He probably complained about you to Avery, you think, kicking a rock violently. He’s probably with her right now, telling her what an annoying, selfish, jealous person you are and she’s probably comforting him. The thought of it makes your stomach squeeze.
It was getting darker and colder by the second. In your rage you’d forgotten to bring a hoodie and now you’re absolutely freezing. The street lights flicker on and you suddenly realise you have no idea where you are. You’re cold, alone, lost and a little hungry. You pray it doesn’t start to rain. You get out your phone quickly to look on google maps, but two red words flash up: no connection. Great. Just when you thought today couldn’t get any worse. You wish you hadn’t left the house now, but didn’t know which way to turn to walk back. You walk around the corner of a tall white building, hoping to see a signpost nearby.
That’s when you notice the footsteps of someone behind you. You turn absentmindedly to see a stranger dressed in all black clothing. You couldn’t properly see their face or decipher whether they were a man or woman. Feeling a little sceptical, you choose to cross to the other side of the road, trying to shake or anxious feelings that were creeping in. You spin the ring on your finger, trying to breathe in and out slowly. You side glance at the figure a few times to see that they’re still on the opposite side of the road. You exhale and turn the corner, feeling stupid for getting so het up over nothing.
You hear more footsteps and paranoid you look behind. You feel sick. The mystery stranger is back. Panic seizes your throat and you walk a little faster, noting their feet also pick up the pace. You turn a second corner. So do they. A thousand and one questions flashed up in your mind. What did they want? Why were they following you? And more importantly how long had they been following you for? You’re breathing heavily, maybe too heavily. You don’t want them to know you’re scared.
You fumble to reach your phone, hurriedly finding your contacts. You click Jameson’s name but the call fails. Your eyes flick to your internet, still none. You try again, the cycle repeats. Tears well up in your eyes. You were hopeless, helpless and frightened to death. You begin to fiddle anxiously with your necklace trying to work out what to do next, but your mind was blank. You couldn’t think. The person was a good few meters behind you now. A silent tear of rolls down your cheek as you carry on walking forwards, pretending you’re going somewhere in hope the follower might get bored a leave. They did not. You bite back and audible sob and notice one bar lights up in the top right hand corner of your phone screen. You have one bar of internet and you’ve never felt more relieved. Your finger rushes to hit the call button. One ring and he picks up. It’s a miracle.
“Sweetheart,” he breathes, a sense of relief and a smile in his voice.
“Jamie,” you say, your voice more panicked than you’d intended.
“What’s wrong?”
His voice is immediate and assertive but thick with anxiety. He can sense there’s something wrong, he knows.
“Jamie there’s someone following me,” you hyperventilate, the sharp sudden breaths hurting your chest.
“Where are you?” he asks.
“I don’t know,” you say, your voice shaky, “and I’m panicking.”
“Okay, don’t worry, just keep walking straight,” he instructs, “okay sweetheart?”
“Okay,” you murmur.
“Just breathe,” he soothes, “I’m tracking your location.”
You exhale unevenly and carry on walking.
“Are you near any buildings?” Jameson asks, strategically. You can tell he’s concentrated.
“There’s a housing complex and a few shops across the street,” you describe.
“Good,” he replies, “cross the road and go into one of the shops and stay in there.”
“Okay,” you answer, jogging across the road, taking note of anything that might help Jameson find you.
“What’s the name of the shop you’re going to go into?” he asks, “it might help me track you a little faster.”
You step back to read the cursive white letters, “Betty’s,” you reply, stepping in.
“That’s it?” he confirms.
“That’s it,” you say, carefully stepping inside, seeing the follower cross the road in the refection of the shop window.
Your heart thuds in your chest as the little bell rings to announce your entrance in the shop. It was one of those little knick-knack type shops, small but compact. You pretend to admire a china tea set.
“Are you inside?” Jameson asks, his voice washing some sort of comfort over you.
“Yes,” you say quickly, subconsciously tracing the tablecloth deign with your index finger.
“Have they followed you inside?” he asks.
“No,” you reply, though you haven’t looked up, the shop bell definitely has not rung since your arrival. You are the only customer in this shop. You look up and see them standing outside, you catch their eye and fear flicker through you as you quickly turn away, jolts of sheer nauseating panic runs up and down your abdomen, “Jamie they’re waiting outside, oh god Jameson they’re waiting outside, for me to come out, oh god.”
“Hey! Hey! You have the stay calm,” he says sharply but kindly, “as long as you’re in there you’re safe and I’m on my way now.”
“You found where I am?” you breathe, sounding too much like a child than you care to admit.
“I’m getting into the car as we speak,” he replies.
He’s coming. You tell yourself. You’re going to be okay. You say in your head.
“Stay on the line with me,” you blurt out, “please.”
“Of course baby, I’m not going anywhere,” he says, the concern in his voice made you yearn to be in his arms.
The other end of the phone goes silent except for the sound of a car engine, gently groaning in motion. You try to distract yourself by admiring the little collection of ceramic mouse figurines and try to give all of them a name. That’s when you catch the stranger in your peripheral.
“Jameson I’m scared,” you bite the inside of your cheek, “I’m really scared.”
“I’m coming, just hang in there okay,” he comforts “breathe for me.”
“Jameson,” you exhale, your hands becoming increasingly more restless.
“Hey, sweetheart, take a breath with me okay?” he says, “together?”
“Together,” you nod, despite the fact that he can’t see you, but somewhere deep down you know he knows you’re nodding.
“In through your nose and out through your mouth, okay?” he replies.
I’m through your nose and out through your mouth. You repeat the motion over and over with him over the phone, until you’re bored.
“I’m nearly there,” he mentions after a while.
“You promise?” you say, your breath hitching.
“I promise, just stay where you are,” he says calmly.
“Okay,” you reply.
“Sorry honey we close at 11:00,” comes a voice.
It makes you jump at first, as you yelp in surprise at the old woman beside you. Where had she appeared from? You drop your phone and it crashes to the floor. You realise for the first time how tightly you’d had it pressed to the side of your face as the cold air rushes to that spot and you feel the sticky sweat. You scramble to pick up your phone.
“I’m fine,” you reassure Jameson quickly, before turning the the woman, “sorry, would I be able to stay a few more minutes?”
She glances disapprovingly at you and then her watch, “I don’t think so.”
“It won’t be long, I promise,” you rush.
“I’m sorry but I have to lock up now,” she shakes her head and waves the keys between her fingers.
“Just until my boyfriend gets here,” you try again, desperation slicing through your tone.
“You’re not purchasing anything and it’s closing hours,” she replied sternly, “I need to lock up.”
“Please,” you beg.
“Store policy I’m afraid,” she shrugs flatly.
“I’ll but the whole damn place of you let me stay,” you exclaim, not really sure why the sentence left your mouth but it was too late to take it back now.
“This place isn’t for sale,” she says sourly with pursed wrinkled lips.
“Not literally,” you sigh, “look I’ll make a purchase.”
“No purchases after 11:00,” she responds, blunt as a baseball bat.
“But you just said-“
“We’re closed,” she snaps.
“Please just let me stay for five minutes,” you ask, hoping by some miracle she’ll agree.
“I really can’t do that,” she sighs, with an almost apologetic look on her face “I’m sorry.”
“Two minutes?” you try to compromise.
She stares through you, “I’m going to call the police.”
“There’s someone out there following me outside,” you burst, “so please, if you’re going to call the police on anyone, do it on them.”
The woman gently cocks her head to see the mysterious figure outside the window, her eyes widen by the tiniest fraction and she stares back at you. You wonder what she’s thinking. She chews her lip thoughtfully for a while and then finally replied, “there’s a back way out, I can take you through to there.”
“Thank you,” you exhale in relief.
She walks hurriedly walks away and you follow her, ending up at the very back of the shop. It couldn’t be seen from the window, but how long would it take for the follower to realise? Not long enough, you pray, hoping Jameson would arrive in time. There is a small green door with a lacy translucent curtain across the window.
“Here,” she nods towards it, “get home safe.”
“Thanks,” you say gratefully.
You almost trip out of the back door but managed to stabilise yourself, the old woman slams to door and it nearly clips your heals. You quickly press your phone back to your ear, realising Jameson is still on the line.
“Jamie?” you say.
“I’m still here,” he replies, reading your mind, “Betty’s a bitch.”
You choke on your own spittle, “what?”
“Betty,” he states as if it’s obvious.
“Betty?” you question, hoping he’ll elaborate.
“Well I assume it’s her name,” he says, you could practically hear him shrug, “the woman who just kicked you out of her shop.”
“Oh, you heard all of that?” you say.
“I did,” he confirms, “but I’m two minutes away now.”
“Two minutes?” you check, hope returning your voice.
“Yeah,” he confirms gently.
“I’m still at the back,” you mention, “but I’ll walk to the front to meet you.”
“Okay,” he replies, “I’m so close sweetheart, don’t worry.”
“Okay I-“
All the air is knocked from your lungs as you turn the corner and someone grabs your shoulders and it’s so sudden you forget to scream. Fear runs cold and thick through your veins. You can’t move. The grip is strong and foreign, their hands are callous and your arms ache the longer you’re in their hold. Paralysed, you fail to struggle free. It all happens in a blur. You feel yourself being thrown to the side and you land on the pavement with a hard thump after rolling over your ankle. Pain seizes through it and you bite back a yelp. You look up, struggling to your feet and see Jameson has arrived.
Jameson. Jameson. Jameson.
He’s fighting the mysterious follower who you can now see is man. He’s a few inches taller than Jameson and has much more muscle but Jameson is quicker, more agile. You wish you could help him but the searing agony deriving from your ankle would’ve only made him slower. So you’re now just watching. It’s a tête-a-tête of frantic hits and blocks, all scarily aggressive. The look in Jameson’s eyes is not one you recognise, it’s like the green had been frosted over with ice. The follower lunges at him suddenly and an audible gasp escapes your lips. He has Jameson in a headlock. You stumble forwards, ready to attack him from behind when Jameson twists the man’s arms in an awkward direction, leaving him vulnerable. In the split second Jameson knees him in the stomach and begins to punch him repeatedly.
Jameson’s jaw is clenched, his hair is ragged and wild. A flow of crimson red liquid falls from one nostril and from a new wound just above his eyebrow. His eyes are fierce and gleaming, like a predator on its prey. You’re not sure you know who this man is, he’s not Jameson, he’s a mutation, a weapon, a unrecognisable being.
“Jamie,” you murmur, your voice shaking. You can’t stop yourself, you’re too scared.
He can’t hear properly, he doesn’t even acknowledge you. He carries on punching and punching but the follower seems to be cold out.
“Jameson stop! You’re scaring me!” you yell, fear in your throat but fire in your belly.
He looks up and he freezes, all but his hands that are shaking from the adrelenline rush. He looks down at his bloodied knuckles to the limp figure on ground, then back to me again. He can see the fright in my features that I’m so desperately trying to conceal.
“Hey, I’m sorry,” he says, “it’s okay, let’s go home.”
“Is he dead?” you say, the words so much harsher than you intended.
“No,” he shakes his head gently, “just knocked out, I promise.”
“I-“ you can’t finish the sentence.
“You’re shaking,” he murmurs tentatively, wrapping an arm around you to still your trembling torso.
“I’m fine,” you say, trying to sound strong, but synthetic strength only made you sound weaker.
“You’re not fine,” he shakes his head.
“Let’s just get out of here,” you sigh, then look at him with sparkling eyes, “please?”
“Of course,” he says, concern bleeding across his features.
You begin to walk but have to bite your lip as pain rips through your ankle with weight pressing down on it.
“What wrong?” Jameson asks, his reaction instant and lightning fast.
“Nothing,” you shake your head, trying to carry on without displaying the pain.
But he’s too vigilant for his own good, “are you hurt?”
“No, it’s fine,” you reply, in denial, “I’m fine.”
You’ve found that things are easier to believe if you say them out loud. Unfortunately not in this case.
“Where?” he asks, stopping still, pressing gently down your arms to check for tentative pressure points.
You pull away, “Jamie I’m-“
“Where?” he asks firmly, giving me that look.
“I just rolled over my ankle,” you sigh, “it’s not a big deal.”
“Do you want me to carry you?” he offers.
“No,” you say quickly, too quickly.
The truth was, you did want to be carried. The thought of being in his protective arms, pressed up against his chest was very appealing. But just like he could see your winces and hear your sharp breaths in, you notice his. The fight hadn’t been easy on him, no matter how stubbornly he tries to hide it.
“Just support me and I’ll support you,” you reply.
“I don’t need support,” he says.
You stare at him, “you don’t have to be the knight in shining armour with me, I thought you’d stopped that.”
You’d made a pact at the start of your relationship that Jameson couldn’t play that role. You were there for each other, it wasn’t one or the other.
“Fine,” he grits through his teeth, “we’ll support each other.”
You both walk, labouring, limping and leaning on one another. In the silence of it all you have time to think about all that had happened, a chances you hadn’t previously had with your mind always preoccupied on something else. A tidal wave of guilt almost drowns you.
“I’m sorry,” you burst out suddenly, feeling all of a sudden emotional, as tears run down your face.
You didn’t realise how much yours been keeping it in, your fear, your pain, your guilt, your sorrow.
“Hey, shhhh,” he soothes, caressing your cheek, “shhh shh stop that now, hey, hey.”
“I shouldn’t have left,” you shake your head, “I shouldn’t have got so angry and walked so far alone and it was dark-“
“Y/n, breathe,” Jameson murmurs, “I’m not angry, it’s not your fault, I’m just glad you’re safe now, okay? I would never let him hurt you, you know that right?”
You nod.
“Let’s get to the car and then we can go home, okay?” he suggests softly.
“Okay,” you murmur in response.
He wraps his arm back around your shoulders and holds your hand with the other, steering you towards his car. He walks around to your door, looking over his shoulder cautiously, making sure you are in and safe before he thinks of himself. You’ve never felt safer in a car, your back pressed up against the seat. Your leg bobs up and down uncontrollably, even when your try to stop it. Seems the adrenaline had gotten to you more than you’d thought.
Jameson is swift to get into the driver’s seat and start the car. He silently places his hand on your upper thigh to still the shaking. The warmth of his familiar touch relaxes some of the built up worry in your chest. One knot has been untied from the incomprehensible ball.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
You nod numbly. You didn’t reply with words in fear that you’d spill out the truth. Lying to Jameson was a challenge.
“Stupid question,” he mumbles, “of course you’re not.”
“I think I’m still trying to process what just happened,” you murmur, not a complete lie. You’d only processed parts.
“Okay, that’s fine, take as long as you need,” he says reassuringly, “I’m here if you want to talk.”
You nod again. Then take a breath.
“I’m sorry,” you say, choked up with emotion, “I’m sorry for fighting, I don’t know why I get so annoyed it’s just-“
“It doesn’t matter, all that matters is that you’re safe,” he tells you gently.
“Safe,” you repeat, the word has an odd texture on your tongue.
“You are safe,” Jameson replies firmly.
“I am safe,” you repeat, believing it a little more.
***
The two of you had gotten back to Hawthorne House late. No one was around so no questions were asked. But whilst you showered and changed Jameson insisted on getting the security team on it and you didn’t object. You join Jameson in your shared room after your shower, he’s already waiting with open arms. You clamber into the bed and fall onto his chest. The smell of him indescribably addictive. He wraps his arms around your torso and you wince, tenderness spreading across the tops of your arms and upper back.
“What hurts baby?” he asks, eyebrows knotted with worry.
“Nothing,” you reply, shrugging the pain off.
He looks at you, “you don’t have to lie to me.”
You’re silent for a few beats but then finally murmur, “my arms.”
“Let me see,” he says.
“It’s okay-“
“Let me see,” he whispers, sending a hot shiver down your spine. 
You slowly slip of your jumper and expose the rounded bruises from the follower’s fingers. You’d discovered them moments ago in the bathroom, it must’ve been from where he’d grabbed you. You can’t see Jameson’s face but judging by the thick blanket of tense air that had enveloped your surroundings, you have a good idea of what he’s thinking.
“He did this?” he asks, tracing every bruise so delicately it nearly tickles.
“Jamie he grabbed me,” you explain.
“I’ll kill him for laying a finger on you,” he spits, a foreign violence in his tone you weren’t sure you liked.
“Don’t say that,” you say before you can stop yourself.
“What?” he looks at you in wild disbelief.
“Talk of killing him,” you close your eyes, “you’re not a murderer.”
He opens his mouth.
“Don’t you dare argue with me,” you snap, a raw intensity in your voice. You struggle to recall where you found it.
Silence you like a car hits roadkill. Swiftly and out of nowhere with a sickening thud.
“You know you scared me back there,” you murmur, meeting his eyes shyly.
“Me?”
“When you were punching him…” you trail off, “you looked so angry.”
“I was angry” he retorts, “no one should do that, especially not to you. Never to you.”
“Yeah but I really thought you might…” you stop yourself.
“I might what?” he urges you to continue.
“I don’t know,” you say trying to brush it off, “it doesn’t matter.”
“No it does,” he replies, “you thought I might kill him right?”
“It just wasn’t you punching that guys, it wasn’t my Jameson,” you murmur.
“Your Jameson doesn’t protect you,” he yells and you flinch slightly.
You don’t meet his eye, “no, not like that.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, I just…” he sighs, “I never would’ve forgiven myself if something had happened to you.”
“It would’ve been my fault for storming off like that, god I’m so stupid,” emotion rises thick in your throat.
“Hey, stop beating yourself up about this,” Jameson says, “it was my fault in the first place.”
“No it wasn’t-“
“Yes it was, let’s just forget about this okay,” he insists.
“But what if he comes back? What if he knows where I am? What did he want with me Jamie? What if-“
“It’s all going to be sorted okay, we have so many staff on it right this second,” he says tracing the outlines of your knuckles, “you just need to breathe.”
“I am breathing,” you grit through your teeth.
“What’s worrying you then?” he asks softly.
“I don’t know,” you reply, biting back a sob.
He senses the emotion, “come here.”
You practically collapse into his arms, keeping your tears at bay just barely. There’s something about being in his arms, against the warmth of his body that made the bad things go quiet for a second, that stopped the overwhelming voices in your head, that silences your thudding heart. But even now, things were unusually playing on your mind, despite the comfort.
“I don’t know Jamie,” you murmur into his chest, “I’m scared and exhausted and anxious and I can’t stop thinking about it.”
“Let me help you,” he whisper, gently running his fingers through your hair.
“I don’t think you can,” you mumble, your eyes grappling to stay open.
“I will find a way,” he says, you almost laugh at his stubbornness.
“I don’t want to lose you,” you reply, your voice breaking, “I don’t know anything bad to happen.”
“You’re not going to lose me and I won’t let anything bad happen,” Jameson kisses the top of your head, “I promise.”
“I don’t feel safe,” you admit.
“What’s making you feel unsafe baby?” he asks, aching concern in his voice.
“Before today I’d never even imagined potentially being kidnapped and it just happened today,” you ramble, “and that means there’s so many other things that I couldn’t ever have imagine that might happen.”
“If we spend our whole lives in fear of what might happen we’d forget to live,” Jameson says.
You meet his emerald eyes and try not to melt, “I’m scared.”
“There’s no need to be,” he comforts, “I’m here.”
“You promise?”
“Always,” he says. His voice is so sure, so strong. It almost makes you believe.
“And you’re not going anywhere?”
“Not anywhere without you,” he grins lopsidedly, the real Jameson shining through making your cheeks tint a pale pink.
“I’m sorry,” you say again, the residing guilt flowing back in.
“If you apologise one more time I’m going to do a lyrical dance routine to ‘hot stuff’ only dressed in sequinned hot pants and a top hat,” he says.
“I think I’d quite like to see that,” you can’t help but smile, “I should apologise more often.”
He chuckles softly and kisses the top of your head. You nuzzle into the nape of his neck and allow one tear to slip from the under your mask. Just one.
“I’ve got you baby and I’m not letting go,” Jameson whispers.
“Please don’t let me go,” you murmur, sounding as small as a child.
“I’m not, never ever,” he murmurs, kissing your nose, then cheeks and then a soft kiss on your lips.
You smile, a fluttery feeling in your chest and you kiss him back. His hands snake around your waist, the tentative touch making you tingle a little. You wish you could just focus on Jameson and nothing else but the problem was the scene kept replaying in your head. The man grabbing your shoulders, the bruises left on your skin, the smell of his cologne in your hair. He was everywhere.
“Hey sweetheart, it’s okay,” Jameson soothes, “you’re safe now.”
It’s only then you notice how your entire body is shaking, your bones rattling together. You try to stop but you can’t. He brings you into deeper his arms and holds your quivering limbs together. You wonder if he let go you’d fall apart all together.
***
You didn’t go to school the next day, instead you stayed curled up in Jameson’s arms as he gently traced spirals across your back with his index finger.
You can’t remember the last time you’d felt so in love.
***
Thursday rolls around far too quickly and you know you have to go back. Word about the stalker had been kept quiet but you know you couldn’t stay under your duvet forever. No matter how badly you wanted to. So you wake up early and take your time getting ready. Jameson sleeps like the dead all the way through it, even when you blow dry your hair. You meet Xander who is already at breakfast, eating muffins. You’d promised the week before you’d come and observe his biology project for him, so he could have a second opinion and you didn’t want to break that promise.
“You know you really didn’t have to come,” he says, still chewing, “after you know…”
“I want to Xand, really,” you say, “I can’t avoid it forever and I want to see your project.”
“If you’re sure?” he checks, with an eyebrow raise.
“I’m sure,” you nod, “I swear.”
“Well then, have a muffin or two and then we’ll be on our way,” he grins, handing me one from the plate in the centre.
“Roger that sir,” you smile back, saluting him as you take a bite.
***
School was difficult that day, not the content, just the energy. The problem was you had none. And it was one of those long modified timetable days where your first break of the day was lunch and it wasn’t even until 2:00pm. That in itself was a mood killer. On top of that you couldn’t get the follower out of your head. The events played on some sort of endless loop in your head. You wonder who it might be, why they might have been following you of all people. It was known you were dating Jameson but not that known. Apparently, according to Xander, Oren had been put on high alert and Alisa was working on finding their identity. That should have brought you solace. It didn’t.
But the more you thought about it the more your realised that part of you selfishly didn’t mind that it has happened too much because last night you’d felt more connected to Jameson than you had in forever. It had been a while since it had just been the two of you, no mysteries, no arguments, no Avery. Yesterday had solely been the two of you, all day. Just in the presence of one another but, at school, you hadn’t seen Jameson all morning, seen as you’d left for school early with Xander but he had sent you a string of text messages that you only see at first on your very late lunch break.
morning sweetheart
are you okay??
I know you left early with Xand but I’m still worried about you
text me for ANYTHING okay??
I love you xx
And then an hour later…
you still haven’t text back
are you okay??
I bribed the woman at the front desk for your schedule so you’re probably in class right now
unless you’re not!!
just answer me when you can okay
I love you
Then in the next hour…
ARE YOU OKAY!?
I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU IN THE HALLWAYS
PLEASE ANSWERRR!!!!
I love you ;)
You almost laugh at the cuteness of it all. You type a couple of messages in response incase he bribed the headteacher to let him use the announcement speaker to find you next.
I’m fine Jamie, don’t worry
late lunch break sorry I couldn’t text sooner
They bleep through one after the other, sending through.
meet you after school for our plans
You close your phone quickly and get to the next class, holding your books tightly to your chest. The next few periods better go fast.
***
They didn’t go fast. In fact every millisecond felt like an hour, the day seemed endless. You get out of class and don’t pass Jameson in any hallways yet again sk decide to go to your usual meeting spot after school. You send him a quick message.
waiting outside business studies
You wait for him by the curb. One minute passes, he’s been a minute late before, many times. So you figure it’s okay, leaning on the wall behind you. Five minutes go by next and most kids are leaving or have left the school premises. Maybe his class has run over, your brain suggests. Then it is ten minutes, barely anyone is walking out. The odd person, sure, but never Jameson. You begin to wonder where he might be. Detention? No, he always finds a way out of those. Basketball court? No, he doesn’t like to play with the other guys. Classroom? No, he wouldn’t spend longer than he had to in the school. You sigh, ten minutes isn’t that long after all. Maybe you’re overreacting. Still, you send him another text ‘hey, are you nearly here?’ Half an hour passes. That’s when you get really confused. He should definitely be here by now. Slowly you wonder down several hallways, checking your phone for any messages, calls or voicemails, but there are none. Few students are around and every time you look into a classroom Jameson isn’t there. You make your way back to your original spot, incase he turned up. Forty minutes pass and you try his phone for the last time, ringing him rather than just texting but it goes straight to voicemail. So you resort to calling Xander, hoping he’ll be able to help and ease the tightening knot of worry growing in your chest. There is only two rings.
“Hello y/n,” Xander’s cheerful voice says down the other end, “is there any reason you’re phoning the best Hawthorne on this fine afternoon?”
“Yeah, sorry Xand,” you reply, “but have you seen Jamie anywhere?”
“Don’t be sorry,” he tells me, “and I think I saw him come in earlier, I just presumed you were with him.”
Too many juxtaposed emotions hit you at once. Relief, he’s okay, he’s alive, he’s at home. Hurt, he left without you, abdomen or forgot the plans you had. Annoyance, he’d left without sparing you a second thought.
“No,” you mutter, “I wasn’t.”
“You sound annoyed,” Xander comments.
“I’m fine, sorry Xand,” you reply, putting some more life into your voice to wash away and tense notes, “it’s been a long day.”
“Don’t I know it,” he sighs, “but hey it’s the weekend now, fancy a game of strip bowling when you get back?”
Strip bowling was one of your favourites, mostly because you were very good at it and barely had to strip and also because Jameson usually ended up in his underwear. Xander must’ve sensed the false happiness in your voice and suggested it to be nice.
“Maybe tomorrow,” you say, trying to let him down gently. You did appreciate the gesture, but the thought of playing stop bowling right now did not match the mood.
“Yeesh your day was that bad huh?” he asks softly, playing it off as jokey.
“I’ll be okay,” you reassure him quietly.
“I’m here you know,” he reminds you.
“Thanks Xander,” you reply, but don’t elaborate. You didn’t feel like talking right now.
“Talk to Jamie, he’ll know how to make you feel better,” he suggests sweetly.
You smile through your pain, “yeah, I’ll give it a go.”
You hang up and exhale slowly, he doesn’t know that Jameson is your problem.
***
You get back to Hawthorne house about twenty minutes later. It sounds relatively empty, though it always does, seen as there were so many possible places for people to be. You wander through the entrance, trying to think where Jameson might be. You hear footsteps approaching and spin around to see a blonde in a suit. Wrong brother.
“Have you seen Jameson?” you ask him before he can greet you.
“He was upstairs earlier, with Avery,” Grayson replies.
All the air is knocked from your stomach, “Avery?”
“You didn’t know?” his expression flashed for a fraction of a second into something between guilt and shame before it is composed.
“No…” you trail off.
“Oh,” he replies, with an unreadable expression back on.
“Well thanks anyway,” you say with a synthetic smile.
You walk away quickly before he can respond, looking up with glossy eyes. You ascend the stairs quickly and don’t look back. You feel you need to see for yourself did this is true. But where would he take Avery? You could only hope it wasn’t the roof where the two of you stargazed, that would hurt like hell. You trail down a hallway where voices are coming from and stumble upon a door that is ajar. Inside, Jameson talking to Avery. Your stomach rolls uncomfortably. He’s positioned barely a foot a way and he’s laughing. He looks so beautiful when he laughs, but now it’s ugly. It’s like biting into something sweet and getting a sour taste. It’s not the fact that she made him laugh, it’s the fact he’s laughing like he laughs when he’s with you. That’s the thing that cuts deep. The way his eyes are sparkling and his smile is wide and carefree, you thought he reserved those kind of smiles only for you.
Clearly not.
You turn your back on the scene and rush to your bedroom. You swing the door open forcefully and then slam it shut behind you. So he’d ditched your plans for her. Great. You sigh as you collapse down on your bed feeling an unwelcome tightness squeezing across your chest. Tears well up in your eyes. You didn’t like to cry, you rarely ever did. But right now, you couldn’t do anything about it. The tears just flowed down your cheeks and your whole body shook with each sob. Your heart physically ached, something you hadn’t thought was possible until this moment. A searingly mournful agony rippling through the left side your the chest. You felt so vulnerable, so exposed. You didn’t stop crying the blanket was soaked through, weighted with wet emotion and your throat was so raw it was numb.
***
You binge movies for the rest of the evening, the only feeling left in your system was anger, you’d cried all the sadness out. You felt so done with feeling shit and binging movies gave you that outlet of doing nothing, thinking nothing and feeling nothing. Exhaustion is beginning to win the ongoing battle between the two of you when you hear soft footsteps approaching. Jameson had been practically out of your mind the whole evening, Disney movies are a good distraction, but that is until he walks in. You hear as the door handle turns and he enters. Your eyes flicker to the clock, it’s just gone midnight.
“Hey sweetheart,” he murmurs, taking his suit jacket off and undoing his top button, “you’re up late.”
“What do you want?” you ask, eyes glued to Elsa’s performance of ‘let it go’ on the tv screen.
He immediately notices something is off and walks over, “woah, hey, what’s wrong?”
“Oh so now you care?” you scoff, looking him dead in the eye.
“What did I do?” he asks quickly, cluelessly.
“You are unbelievable,” you exclaim, switching the movie off before hurling the control across the room.
Jameson stares in disbelief, “why are you so pissed off?”
“You don’t know why I’m annoyed?” you ask, dumbfounded.
“No…” he replies hesitantly, like he’s treading on egg shells.
“Seriously?”
“Seriously,”
“Oh my god,” you laugh bitterly, shaking your head, “tell me you’re joking, please.”
“I’m not joking,” he says, the desperation and worry evident in his tone.
“Do you even know what we were supposed to do today?” you ask with a withered look.
A moment of realisation strikes and you notice as his eyes widen and his jaw drops a little.
“Shit. I’m sorry, I forgot,” he says, actually looking guilty. You almost feel sorry for him.
“Yeah I know,” you deadpan, folding your arms across your chest.
“There’s just been a lot going on lately and with the following and then I was days behind on the thing with Toby and-“
“Am I some sort of burden,” you retort, eyebrows raised.
“What? No! I never said that,” he exclaims, his voice raised.
“Okay,” you shrug, nonchalantly. The small display of passive aggression would get under his skin, prickling it like an unscratchable itch.
“Last time we argued it ended with you being followed, I don’t want you in that situation again,” he says, his voice dominant and definitive.
“You’re making this about you!” you yell, rage blinding your vision, “what you want, for me!”
“Oh so you want to be followed, stalked?” he asks, with a forced cruel laugh.
“That’s not what I said,” you snap, eyes narrowed.
“Sounds like it,” he bites back, the bitterness in his voice hurting you far more than you cared to admit.
You don’t say anything for a long while but eventually cut through the long silence, “I even text you about it,” you say quietly.
“What?” he replies, head cocked to the side, confused.
“About tonight,” you say, raising your hands into the air with an eye roll.
“No you didn’t!” he yells back, defensively.
“Yes I did,” you scream.
“Look, this is the last message I got,” he exclaims, shoving his phone’s bright screen into your face.
‘late lunch break sorry I couldn’t text sooner’
You stare at the message and then quickly open your phone to double check. Your message hadn’t gone through, you look up glaring at him. You were mad he didn’t remember, mad the message never went through and just mad in general.
“It didn’t go through, I couldn’t help it,” he defends.
“You still forgot,” you press on, getting mor annoyed by the second, “I shouldn’t have to remind you that you have plans with your girlfriend.”
“Look, I’m really sorry,” he replies and you can see the meaning in his face, “we’ll reschedule.”
“I don’t want to do it anymore,” you tell him nonchalantly. You know you’re being petty, but you can’t help it.
“Oh common y/n,” he says.
“No I don’t,” you shrug. He’d messed it up, that opportunity was passed now.
“Look I just needed to-“
“What you needed to do was stick to your word, what you needed to do was remember when you had things plans, what you needed to do was think before you acted,” you say in a low voice, interrupting him, “but you did none of that.”
“I can’t have a life now?” he scoffs, growing irritated, “that’s not you.”
“What’s not me?” you scowl.
“This, right now,” he says, “you’re being so controlling!”
You raise your eyebrows, almost laughing, “controlling? You started this argument!”
“No I didn’t!” he argues.
“You know what, if you didn’t want to have it out then you shouldn’t have asked why I was angry,” you roll your eyes, “so just forget about it.”
“Oh would you STOP doing that,” he yells.
“What?”
“The whole ‘forget about it’ thing, it’s so fucking annoying,” he retorts, anger creeping up in his tone.
“You know what else is annoying?” you ask him, “when your boyfriend is hanging out constantly with some random girl who inherited all his grandfather’s money, that’s really fucking annoying.”
He’s silent. Nothing to say for once. No witty reply, no deflection, nothing. His face is impossible to read, blank.
“Hang on, that’s not quite the right word,” you continue, “what about aggravating, demoralising, hurtful-“
“You know I never would’ve pinned you as a jealous possessive girlfriend,” he shakes his head, with a cruel chuckle.
“I’m not!” you snap, “but you lied Jameson, why did you feel the need to lie!?”
“Lie?”
“You told me a few days ago you’d climbed a wall and if I hadn’t known any better I would’ve believed you,” you say, “but you weren’t climbing a wall, you were with Avery.”
“This,” he says exasperatedly, “this is exactly the reason I lied.”
“What?” you ask.
“This overreaction,” he explains, making some weird hand gesture.
“I’m overreacting?” you scoff, as your eyebrows shoot to your forehead.
“Completely,” he exclaims.
“So let me just get this straight,” you begin, “you’d have never pinned me as a jealous possessive girlfriend but you lied to me about ditching our plans to spend time with another girl because you were worried about an overreaction? Right, that makes sense.”
“I’m sorry,” he exhales, “I’m sorry.”
“No you can’t just say sorry and then think it’s all going to be okay,” you shake your head, “sorry is just a stupid word, it means nothing.”
“I didn’t mean to say what I said just now and I am sorry that I hurt you,” Jameson says desperately, “I didn’t mean to.”
“It’s not just that! You blew off our plans for her,” you yell with a sob, “so yeah that kind of fucking hurts.”
“Sweetheart I didn’t mean to-“
“Yeah well you did,” you laugh bitterly, aggressively wiping away your tears, “and I’m crying over it which is just stupid.”
“It’s not stupid,” he tells you gently.
“Yes it is stupid Jameson,” you snap, the tears only flowing thicker and faster, “I feel like an idiot.”
“You shouldn’t,” he insists.
“Well I do, I’m such an idiot. I’m an idiot for fighting with you, I’m an idiot for getting myself followed, I’m an idiot for thinking that someone could actually love me, I’m an idiot for not seeing the signs sooner and I’m an idiot for crying over it all now,” you snivel, roughly scrubbing your tear-stained cheeks.
“Woah, hey,” he says, “sweetheart I love you. Just you.”
“Well it doesn’t feel like it lately,” you say, choking back a sob desperate to leave your throat.
His face softens, “sweetheart…”
He reaches out to touch me but you flinch away. His gentle touch is only a reminder of the good person he is and how much you love him for it. And you can’t afford to fall for it, not again, the pain was too much.
“You’re hurting me Jamie,” you say, your voice breaking as you jab a finger to your heart, “this is hurting me.”
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he murmurs, as his eyes mellow.
“If you want to be with her I’d rather you just tell me,” you whimper, “it would save me the pain of all this back and forth and sneaking around and finding out. Just tell me straight.”
“I don’t want to be with Avery,” he says, “I never have.”
“You don’t look at me how you look at her,” you say bitterly, getting it off of your chest.
“You’re right I don’t,” he agrees. Your heart plummets, here it comes, the confession, the break up, the empty sorrys and eyes filled with tears. “I don’t look at you like I look at her, because I look at her like any other person on this planet, but when I look at you I’m looking at my world. And I’d sure as hell hope that differs from the look that I gave to everyone else.”
A wave of emotion coats your skin, soaking you through. His world. The words repeat over and over and over until you feel delirious.
“Do you mean that? Do you really mean that?” you whisper.
“Of course I do,” he sighs, “don’t you understand? I love you, it’s always been you, it will never not be you! You’re my person, you’re my other half, I was supposed to meet you and fall in love with you. You give me purpose and passion and so much more. When you called me the other night after our fight I’ve never been more frightened in my life, I was freaking out over here. I’ve never felt so panicked, so sick with the thought of someone being hurt. I’m in so love with you that I can’t even explain it and I can’t believe I led you to doubt it. Avery is a friend, I promise, she means nothing to me compared to you, trust me. How can I prove that to you?”
“I don’t know Jameson,” you shout, your head aching from this endless circle of arguments.
“Then marry me!” he yells, then his voice softens, “marry me.”
You freeze, every muscle in your body suddenly falling into a state of paralysis, “what?”
“You heard me,” he says, his expression too serious.
“Jameson,” you murmur, barely getting his name out.
“Marry me.”
a/n: I’m a sucker for fat dramatic impulse decisions (it’s a problem, you may have gathered from my more recent fics) SOZ GUYS 😘😘 anywayyysss the time frame is roughly (and I mean very ROUGHLY) based around chapters 11-13 of the Hawthorne brothers incase you were wondering
thanks for the req anon, so sorry again for the wait, hope you enjoyed the read 🤍🤍 if you made it to the end and didn’t DNF halfway through, well done!! can you guys tell I got way too carried away, this fic was so all over the place but I posted it anyway bc yolo
there will be no part 2!! sorry!! I really need a break from reqs… you decide how you answer 🤭🤭
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icarusredwings · 2 days
Text
It's bed time, kiddo 2/3
Wade's being a brat. Althea ain't having that.
Tw: Mentions of alcohol and voices
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Opening the fridge, He leaned over to get a soda. Turning, he kicked it closed, beginning to hum as he popped open the tab. Putting it to his lips, he glanced up, jolting hard. Spitting out the soda, his hand coming to his chest as he fell back against the couter.
"Wade! Jesus fucking christ!!"
"Hi wolvie..."
"You just almost got sliced in half!! What is wrong with you!? Do you want me to hurt you!? For fucks sake!"
"...." his eyes widdened and frowned, pulling Fluffy up to hold tighter.
"Im sorry.. sorry.. I just-" he took a deep breath and sighed. "Aren't you supposed to be in bed?" He asks, looking as if he had just seen a ghost, trying to calm down, gripping the counter.
"...My tummy feels sad."
"What? You were just asleep. I saw it."
From the living room, Al spoke up with a soft smirk. "How does it feel? Fuckers so silent. Scares the shit out of me all the time."
"But... my tummy is sad."
"What does that mean??" He squinted some, trying to work out this weird puzzle of words.
"He's either hungry or he's anxious about something." The older woman says. "Now shut up, I'm trying to watch Wheel of Fortune."
Logan rolled his eyes. "Sure you are..." He turns to see Wade looking a little too scared for his liking.
"So... uhm.. Are you hungry?"
But he dosn't awnser, staring at him with such hesitancy as if Logan would snap at him again if he awnsered.
Grunting, Logan mentally stabbed himself. Wade was so sensitive to him yelling. He knew this. All that trust.. so easily taken away. "What do you want to eat, kid? Hot dogs?"
Still, he stares. His shoulders slouch, bringing his hand up to rub his face. "..Come're," he tells him, opening an arm to him. Immediately, he came, starting to sob.
Rubbing his back, Logan let out yet another sigh. "I know.. I know, Im sorry. I didn't.." he didn't mean to scare him. He hated scaring him, actually. Made him want to get his claws surgically removed, but you know, declawing your kitty was unethical. He needed to be able to scratch sometimes.
He had been so freaked out that Logan had to pick him up again, softly bouncing him and telling him it was okay.
"Wade, cut that shit out! You're a big boy remember?"
"He's allowed to cry." The man says, confused as to why Al was rude, seeing as she's the one who told him to be nice the first time.
"Logan, sweetheart.. You know he's faking, right?"
"...what?"
"That boy is pulling a burlap sack over your eyes and water boarding you."
Logan blinked at the woman. ".. I dont think thats how that saying goes.."
"Oh well, anyway, he's fake crying. He does that to get what he wants and he's turning you into a fool."
Logan shifted him to the counter, giving him a suspicious glance. "Is that tru- oh you little shit!"
Wade's face wasn't even wet. Sure, his eyes were glossy but nowhere near the amount of crying he was claiming. Holding fluffy closer to his face, he looked at him like a guilty dog, almost ashamed if it wasn't for the tiny pull at the corner of his lips. He was proud of his preformance.
"Are you happy with yourself? Hm?" He crosses his arms, looking at him sternly.
A soft nod.
Logan snorted softly. "At least you're telling the truth... so what do you want?"
Again he whispers, "My tummy is sad."
Thinking about what Althea said, He rose a brow, beginning to playfully and driamtically sniff over him. A soft squeal and giggles came from him, trying to push his face away. "Noo!! Kitty! Don't bite!!"
"Fucking freaks.." Al grumbled, Petting the rat dog in her lap.
"Hmm.. Okay. You're telling the truth about that. But why is your tummy sad? Does it hurt?"
He shook his head.
"Are you hungry?" He asks again. For a moment, Wade thinks, trying to see if he was hungry.
"Cup?"
Logan shook his head. "Nope. Bed time."
"But.." he was trying to find his words.
"Mommy said I can ask for cup whenever I want."
His brows raised a bit, both surprised and proud of how many words he said. "That's true but I'm not mommy."
Instantly he began pouting, frowning and crossing his arms, mimicing the way Logan did often. "Why?"
"Ppft. Yeah, Logan, why are you not Mommy?" The grandmother asks, teasing him. It seemed that the closer he got with people, the more teasing he got, too. It made him feel home.
"You're not helping." He gives her a quick glare despite the fact she couldn't see it, now turning back to Wade, putting his hands on either side of him as he sat. "Why what? Why no cup?"
He nods with a huff.
"Wade, It's bedtime. No more cups."
"You're being mean." He whines, kicking the back of the counter with a loud grunt.
Rolling his eyes. "It's not being mean, You don't need anymore alchool. You've already had 5 shots tonight. No more. Especially not if you're going to act like that." He grumbles, wishing he didn't act like a brat every time Vanessa came over. She always spoiled him too much.
He whines loudly, being quite annoying. "But you get a lot."
"Im big." Logan says blatantly, having learned that this usually stopped him from questioning any further.
"Oh yeah....." He mumbled, begining to think as he petted Fluffy. "Hmm...can I just have milk?"
"Juice. Take it or leave it."
"In my cup?"
He groans. "Yes in your cup."
"Okay!"
And so, He comes around the counter, opening the fridge once again as he grabs the grape juice, filling up the Spiderman cup after rinsing it out decently well.
Taking the cup, He began drinking it, now kicking his feet happily that he not only caused a scene, got his cup, but also stayed up later, then he was told. To him, that was a massive win.
"There. Now go to bed."
"You come?"
"Sure, why not. If it'll make you go to bed, then fine." By now, he figured he probably wouldn't go to sleep and stay asleep unless someone was in bed with him.
He's gotten used to sleeping with Althea for years now, so it made sense why he wouldn't be able to stay asleep if alone. He usually only slept by himself if it was a sick day and he wanted to be left alone.
"Come on. You want me to carry you?"
His eyes widden as he nods quickly only to pause. "Kitty..."
"What now?" He wanted to lay his head on the counter and just not awnser him anymore but he knew this wasn't a good idea. Then Wade would just get into things and make a mess for them to clean up.
Either that or end up with the whole bottle again to chug what was left of it. He knew that it made his head shut up for a little bit, he knew full well that, that 5 minutes of silence was worth the loss of balance but he didn't want Wade following into his bad habits... He was trying to be a better role model for him.
"Im hungry..." Though the way he says this was as if he knew Logan would be upset with him, smiling sheepishly as he held fluffy tight, close to his face. The cuter he looked the less he thought he'd get introuble.
"What!? But I just asked if you were hungry like 5 minutes ago?!"
He batted his eyes, whining softly. "...I wasn't hungry then.."
So. Here they are. All 4 of the housemates on the couch, Wade with a plate of microwaved hot dogs and ketchup all over his fingers, Logan in the middle trying his damndest not to fall asleep, and Al, who was snoring already as A re-run played on the tv.
Giggling at whatever was going on in his head, Wade seemed happy as a clam as he clapped. At least, that's what Logan thought. In reality, He was sneaking pieces of hot dog to Puppins, who was wiggling her bare tail and spinning in cirlces as well as licking the ketchup off of him.
It wasn't until Wade let out an audible yet giggly "Ewww you're so yucky." From the feeling of her tounge trying to wrap around and eat his finger instead that Logan sat up. "Hey! What did I tell you about feeding her ketchup!?"
Squealing again, He gave her an entire hot dog and shooed the dog. "Run puppy!!"
And so she did, taking her prize from being adorable and doing tricks, running away from them, slipping under the table in which Logan grunted, reaching under to try to get it away from her.
Look- Its not that the hot dog was bad, it was the fact that it wasn't cut and was slathered in vinegar and tomato paste. He didn't want her to puke, nor choke but by the time he got it from her, she has already devoured half of it.
"Damn it, Wade!"
Picking up the little dog, He couldn't stop giggling, the sugar from the grape juice working through his system. "Kitty's gonna get us, Puppy!" He says to her as she barks, happily wagging more as she was having the best time, so many scraps tonight.
Running from Logan, he huffed, glaring. "I'm too old for this shit!" He growls. Catching Wade was like trying to grab an oiled weasel. Slipping through your fingers and biting your arm once you got ahold of them. How Al slept through the chase? Who knows. But when he did catch him, he threw him over his shoulder, carrying him away to the bed.
"Nooooo!!" He whined, reaching out for the dog to save him though she just sat here, panting and wiggling her behind against the floor.
"Traitor!" He called the puppy, whose head tilted and itched her ear, watching her owner get dragged away to his doom (bed time).
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ninyard · 2 days
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i am a BIG supporter of create what you want for your own joy, so absolutely do what you would like to do for the trial!! no one should be pressuring you to do it a specific way unless that’s how you Want to do it.
but if you were asking about what we’d like… personally i would love to see the whole trial as much as possible (i really don’t want you to overwhelm yourself) especially for higgin’s and nicky’s parts!! i like when we see more than just Big Main Parts, especially bc you flesh it out so well <3 sometimes it’s even more hard hitting when it’s Not from the people we expect, you know?
also, thank you for making the socmed aus!! they make me giggle and kick my feet every time, and also wail in agony and clutch at my chest… you have the range <3
GOD i wrote a whole long ass response to this and i didn't realise until too late that my phone was going to die </3 and it died </3
But it was something along the lines of I'm really glad that the general consensus seems to be to do all five days of the trial, or however many days it ends up being, from start to finish. For me personally it'd feel unfinished if I skipped parts just to get to the ~interesting~ parts, and I think if I'm going to make something like this then I want to show it all.
It's not this deep, but I guess it's like... It's fucked up. People are making memes about a murder trial involving rape and other things that are just not funny at all. And skipping parts just to get to "GOD NEIL IS SO CHAOTIC ON THE STAND" or whatever feels,,, insensitive? Unjust?? I don't know
but people are also doing that shit in real life. About real people, real trials, with real victims and real perpetrators. Sensationalising trials just because it's a celebrity on the stand, or it's an "interesting" murder trial or whatever. People are making memes and jokes about them. And people are making their own minds up about the verdict because of it. I want to show people who think Aaron's guilty because of something the cop who arrested him said. I want to show people who think Andrew is an unreliable witness because of something Higgins says, somebody who thinks Aaron isn't guilty because a forensics team mentioned something about the crime scene that they don't think sounds right. I want to make this from the outsider view on the publics reaction to a trial, and specifically people who almost idolise Aaron, or Kevin, or Neil, or Andrew. People who don't see them as human, but as celebrities, as people who are supposed to be perfect. People who see a trial like this and think, "it's okay for me to make jokes about this, or to post about this, because they're just famous people. They're not like real people to me."
People are at home becoming twitter lawyers and making up their minds based on what they read or see online, and it almost separates the reality of the situation from the "characters" that people create out of defendants and victims. You see people hopping on bandwagons or hate trains or whatever when it comes to these kind of public trials. People making clips of something "funny" a lawyer or witness said for the sake of content. People making temporary celebrities out of the judge and jury and legal representation. For what? For likes?
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want to show the different sides of how people actually react to trials like this without becoming insensitive to the fact that trials like this,,, do actually happen. But by making a fan tweet a joke about murder, I'm making that, I'm thinking of the words that go into the tweet. So it's tough. And again I know it's not that deep, but that's kind of... most of the reason why I've been putting it off? Because it's hard. It's hard not to feel like it sensationalises those kinds of things. It's hard not to feel like "God, am I just making fun of this situation here?" while also being reminded that yeah, maybe, but people actually react like that.
So is it worth the tumblr post to make memes and tweets out of something that happens irl, and affects real people? Is it insensitive, or is it just fandom stuff that isn't perceived in an insensitive way at all, because it is just that, a fandom post?
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nekkomaa · 16 hours
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Warnings: Violence, inappropriate language, manipulation, toxic relationships.
Notes: I finally managed to finish this chapter without hating it!!! If you notice any errors please let me know, I know very little English and so I end up translating everything using an online translator, and you know sometimes there are errors...
Portuguese version published on Wattpad
Word counts: 1.435
The job was simple: break into the house of one of Markrov's henchmen, get any clues about their connection, and hopefully more clues about the human trafficking that had been going on for months. However, the job proved complicated when he had to deal not only with the guards but also with a woman, well, he was told that the guy had a wife, but he didn't expect her to be in the house.
The job was supposed to be simple. So why instead of just two in the car were there now three?
He actually considered the idea of killing her, leaving her in the house and making it look like some kind of ridiculous accident, just to confuse them and give them more time to act. But he felt sorry, Simon never liked killing women, he didn't even know if you were lying to them or not, but Ghost never minded killing women, not if they were involved in anything illegal.
You could well be in on it with your husband, and he wouldn't know until it was too late. Deep down your instincts tell you that you're just an ignorant woman who doesn't even know about her own husband, which would explain some of your behavior, but Ghost doesn't usually give people the benefit of the doubt, he's more of a shoot first ask questions later kind of guy.
So why is he taking you along? The only answer Ghost has come up with at the moment is that you could be of great help, a decoy perhaps. If this were a kidnapping, he could even use you as a bargaining chip, to find out how much the husband would be willing to pay to get his beautiful trophy wife back, but everyone knows that her husband wouldn't pay a penny to get you back.
As soon as they arrived at the safe house the first thing they did was tie you properly to a chair, they knew you wouldn't be able to escape even if they let you loose, not with two trained men of their size, but it was good to be safe. Ghost barely looked at you, he prefers not to memorize too many faces of people who will probably end up dead, he already has enough people to haunt his dreams, he doesn't need one more.
As soon as Ghost removed the tape from his mouth, he was ready to leave, anything not to be in the same room as you. He wasn't too surprised when you didn't scream, I mean, he realized you were a clever little thing the moment you decided to collaborate with him, maybe deep down he expected you to scream and shout at the top of your lungs even though you saw you were in the middle of nowhere and knew it wouldn't do any good, he kind of expected any reaction from you, just so he could be rude without feeling so guilty. He doesn't even know whether or not you were involved and aware of what your husband was doing.
“I thought she'd have some resistance, you know screaming and all.” Soap seemed excited by the discovery, a little too excited, but Ghost had learned to ignore strange comments and actions during his time in the army, after all, none of them had a good sanity, not even him.
“I think she understood that no one will come even if she screams.” Ghost just turned and left the room, heading for the room he would be staying in, he would leave you for Soap to deal with, meanwhile he would find out more information in other ways.
Soap appeared at the door a few minutes later, saying that you had fainted, overwhelmed by everything, Ghost just nodded and told him to try again later.
And then Soap was in charge of trying to get more information out of you when you were awake. Ghost felt he'd already had too much interaction with you, and let's face it, Soap was great at getting people to open up, so he was an infinitely better chance. Even though he initially failed, Ghost still believed that Jonny could achieve something.
“Why can't we have a clean safe house for once in our lives?” Soap complains as he throws himself on the bed and dust rises, he coughs a few times trying to shake the dust away in a failed attempt.
“We're in a safe house, not a vacation home Jonny. At least this one has furniture.” Ghost's voice comes out sarcastic, he doesn't take his eyes off the computer, grumbling when something doesn't go as he expects.
“How long is this going to last?” Soap rambles to himself, not really caring whether Ghost listens or not.
“Preferably as little as possible.” He answers back and lets out a strange sound, a muffled, croaking laugh. “I found something you might want to read.” Ghost passes the computer to Soap, the small print on the screen showing something interesting.
The night was colder than he thought it would be, probably because winter was approaching. Ghost stood guard in the early hours of the night, Soap was passed out on the dusty bed in the bedroom, at least this safe house had some comfort, in the last few missions the safe houses had nothing more than just the bathroom sink and the shower, of course, only cold water.
He busied himself going over the information he had about the mission. It was routine, something he was used to and something he could relate to now, if he let his mind wander to any other thought than the mission he knew he would lose himself in a spiral and Ghost couldn't let that happen. Not while he still had a mission to finish, not while he was still on that mission.
He wouldn't give you anything more than a few glances, just to make sure you were still in your sleep/fainting state. It would be tedious for anyone else to sit up half the night watching someone else, without much to occupy themselves, but Ghost doesn't really care, too used to babysitting at night to care that much.
It's actually kind of pathetic now that he thinks about it, the fact that he's watching you. A weak, untrained woman, tied to a chair and passed out. You'd never get out of that house without one of the two of you noticing, Ghost could be mistaken about you, you could be a clever little mouse playing dumb, but he still doubts you'd be able to get rid of the ropes holding you down without making a sound.
He's only awake to keep people out of the house, that's the truth. You're no danger to him. Too fearful, not even able to take the pressure of a few questions and already fainting.
Ghost remembers somewhere in the back of his mind that you're just a civilian, and as far as he knows you have every right to cry and faint out of fear and exhaustion, he sometimes forgets that people aren't like him, that most people aren't in the army.
And in a corner of his mind comes the nagging voice reminding him that for all he knows you might actually be being held in private. But again, it's just an assumption, not confirmed information. He found almost nothing about you in the files, your name was mentioned once in a file, but it was so vague that it could easily have been forgotten.
Ghost rolls his eyes at the thought and snorts, he'd rather not think about it too much, if he knew that bastard was holding you against your will he certainly wouldn't spare his fingers when he finally managed to catch the lowlife. Ghost simply hates violence against innocent, unarmed women. He also hates the memories that come with that thought.
A heavy sigh leaves his lips, he would definitely kill for a cup of tea or an alcoholic drink right now, anything to slow down his mind and relax his tense body. But well, unfortunately there's nothing in this house apart from drinking water, and if they're lucky, some kind of canned food.
The sound is very low, but it's still noticeable if you're paying attention. Ghost looks away from the window and sees you looking around, your gaze unfocused and lost, surely it would take you a few seconds to fully regain consciousness.
That's when Ghost knows it's going to be a long night. Maybe he'll wake Soap up and let him deal with it.
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buckysgrace · 2 days
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5. You Broke Me First
Broken Hearts Club Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader
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You enjoy your time with Steve.
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Life without Patty was nice. Even if it had just been a few weeks. Two to be exact. Fourteen days with no drama, no petty arguments or feeling like you had to prove yourself to be something. It was nice, refreshing.
The realizations made you feel guilty, but your grandma had said it was probably for the best. You were allowed to feel thankful for Patty’s kindness at one time, but also able to move on from that point. You didn’t have to owe her for the rest of your life. 
Every single day was spent with Steve. You drove to work with him in the mornings, shared breaks with him, rode home with him at night. Usually you snuck over to his, as you were too afraid to have him over after the last conversation with your grandmother. But you feared she knew about your sneaking out as well. 
You felt comfortable, more relaxed than you had been in a long time. You had never felt so spoiled, so desirable. It was intense, but in the best sort of way. 
But now you were stuck. Technically you were still a part of Patty’s stupid idea despite her going silent on you some time ago. You had no way of confirming if she still wanted to do this. But most of all, you had no way of really telling her that this was off. That you weren’t sure if you wanted to do it.
You didn’t.
You supposed you could come clean, but the very thought of hurting Steve made you sick to your stomach. It was even worse when you looked at you with those big brown eyes, full of adoration and joy. You couldn’t be the one to break his heart. There was no way. 
“What are you thinking about?” Steve asked, breaking you from your thoughts of watching the water ripple against your fingers that were dipped into his pool water. His floaty was next to yours, bouncing against you gently with the drift of the wind. 
You turned towards him, breathing in the soft look in his eyes. You loved to stare at them, loved how big and gentle they were. You traced your eyes over the curve of his nose, then over his freshly tanned skin. You were close enough that you could see a few freckles across his skin. 
“Nothing.” You replied a second later, gulping harshly as you weren’t able to come up with an answer. You didn’t know what to tell him, how to explain the web that you had tangled yourself into. 
“Right,” He chuckled as he brought his thumb between your eyebrows, “You just had this intense look in your eyes for nothing.” He pointed out, as if he could see you behind your sunglasses. 
“My car,” You lied, swallowing roughly once again, “Just trying to think about how much more I need to save up.” You nodded your head quickly, not wanting to spoil the moment between the two of you. 
“Patty should pay for it.” He said as he turned away, pressing his sunglasses over his face once again. You blinked at him in surprise. 
“I let her in the driver’s seat.” You replied as you furrowed your eyebrows together, feeling like you’d been through this conversation many times.
“So?” He asked you seriously, leaving you a little surprised. Apparently he was the only one who didn’t think it was entirely your fault. 
“It’s my responsibility,” You grinned, mimicking your grandparents speech, “It’s fine. I just need one before you leave.” You teased him, dragging your foot off of your floaty to nudge your toe against his warm skin.
He was quiet for a moment, not at all phased at your antics as you stared at him in confusion. He hadn’t said a lot about college, but you figured he’d at least be gone by the beginning of the new year. 
“I think I’m going to quit my job. Family Video is hiring.” He said at last, making you blink in confusion. You tilted your head, not understanding where that was coming from. But perhaps he’d had enough of what his dad had said. 
“What do you mean?” You asked him, shifting on the rubber beneath you so you could look at him better. He exhaled roughly as he linked his fingers over his stomach. 
“Summer’s ending,” He shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t think ice cream sells very well in the winter. Plus, I can finally get out of that stupid uniform.” He grumbled, racing his fingers through his hair as you thought about it. 
“I like the uniform.” You admitted, pulling a smile to your lips as he snapped his head towards you. You thought it was geeky, but it looked very good on him. You especially liked the tuft of hair that stuck out from his shirt. 
“You do?” He looked at you stunned, lips parted as you felt an amused grin forming on your lips. It felt wrong to admit that he looked attractive, but you weren’t going to think about that at the moment. 
“It’s very sexy,” You teased, “I enjoy it quite a lot.” You grinned, reaching across to press your fingers gently against his shoulder. His skin felt warm against yours. 
“Oh.” He flushed for a moment before his lips curled into a grin, smiling brightly like you had just made his whole year. 
“But if you want to sell movies, I won’t mind that either. You can pick out the best ones for us to watch.” You added as you thought about it, tilting your head as you tried to remember all of the new movies you had missed recently. 
“I can do that,” He grinned, looking flattered by the suggestion, “What’s your favorite movie?” He asked you curiously, gripping the arm of your floaty and pulling you closer to him. You wrinkled your nose at the sound of plastic rubbing together. 
“Hm,” You thought about it for a moment, racing through your options, “What was the one we saw together? You know, when you got all frisky at the movie theater?” You grinned mischievously as you thought about it, not missing his little gasp. 
“Ha,” He chuckled, cheeks burning as he looked at you, “You’re funny.” He shook his head, his laughter mixing with yours as electricity settled over your body as you thought about that event. He hadn’t failed to make you feel fiery since then. 
You both settled into a comfortable silence after that, your fingers linking with his over the water as your floaties continued to bump against one another. You crossed your ankles, the area between your thighs still sore from earlier today. 
“Do you want to come over for dinner?” You asked him suddenly, turning to face him as he snapped his head towards you so quickly that his sunglasses nearly toppled off. 
“Tonight?” He asked you for clarity, making you press your lips into a smile as you nodded. You figured it was about time. Maybe then you wouldn’t have to sneak around as much. 
“My grandma always makes something,” You told him, “And your fridge is bare.” You reminded him, thinking of the very bare sandwich the two of you had shared earlier. You were getting hungry and you figured he must be too as he was always snacking. 
“I need to go shopping,” He admitted, nodding his head in agreement. He hadn’t once mentioned where his parents had been since you’d been coming over, “Sure. That sounds like fun.” You wiggled your way out of the floaty, gasping as the cold water hit your skin before you made your way to the ladder. He followed closely behind. 
“Just don’t let them be weird,” You told him quickly, “Because they like to embarrass everyone.” You pouted as you thought about it, hoping they wouldn’t pull any embarrassing stories out. Although Steve probably knew them all. 
“Or you just don’t like being teased.” He told you, passing you a towel as you began to dry yourself off. You stared at your pile of dry clothes, hoping they’d feel good from where the sun had been roasting them. 
“That too,” You agreed with him, “I’ve never brought a boy over before.” You told him playfully, taking a quick glance around before you shifted your swimsuit off your body. You no longer felt embarrassed about being naked in front of him. 
“I’ve been the only one?” He asked, grinning at the subtle way you nodded your head, “I’m flattered.” He told you, eyes lingering against your body for a second too long before you shoved your wet swimming suit at him. 
You headed down the familiar path once you were both dried and dressed, trying not to fall to your knees as Steve linked his fingers with yours. You liked the feeling of his skin against yours, how large his hand was in comparison to your own. 
“Steve,” Your grandpa nodded at him once you had made your way inside, “Good to see your face. I’m used to seeing your back as you leave.” He grumbled, shaking his head as he turned his attention back to the TV. 
“Grandpa.” You hissed, eyes wide in fear as you felt your insides warming in embarrassment. You wished they could just act casual for once. 
“Just saying,” He held his hands up innocently, “I hope you like meatloaf.” He replied, grinning as he sent him a little wave. 
“I do,” Steve nodded his head along, cheeks still flushed, “Thank you.” He nodded as he glanced around, brown eyes breathing in the new decorations within the house. Nothing special, just the occasional item your gran found at garage sales. 
“Hi,” Your gran piped up, moving forward to give him a big squeeze as you tried not to hide your face in embarrassment, “It’s been so long.” She rocked him back and forth for a minute, leaving you with a smile on your lips. 
“Yeah, it’s been a few years since I’ve been here.” He said seriously, lips curling into a polite smile once she released him. She gave his cheek a little pat, making you roll your eyes at the way she doted on him. 
“Well, since you’ve been in this kitchen,” She clarified, making the two of you gape in horror at her casual revelation, “But you can tell me how well you like the touch ups.” She said in a sing-song way before she shouted at your grandfather to join them at the table. 
“They’re great,” He squeaked out, “Really nice.”  He ran his hands through his damp hair a few times, eyes flittering towards you for a brief second. 
“Food looks amazing,” You said next, trying not to die as you sat down across from him, “Thank you.” You told her honestly, glad there was no tension despite their teasings. 
“We should pray,” Your grandpa muttered as he held his hands out, one for you to grab and the other for Steve to take. It was the same routine every night. You clasped your gran’s hand next, nodding your head toward Steve, “Any requests? Maybe no early pregnancies?”
“Grandpa!”
Dinner was surprisingly well, despite the little digs they kept making at the two of you. You huffed underneath your breath the entire time, wondering why they wanted to torture you in such a way. 
“I was so upset you stopped being friends in high school,” Your gran started as she scooped another plate out for Steve. His eyes widened, apparently not planning on three servings, “But people do grow apart. And then back together.” She added, smiling sweetly at you. 
“Yep,” You agreed, feeling the embarrassment sinking into your bones, “That happened.” You weren’t sure why you invited him here in the first place, but it wasn’t so they could act like you were going to marry him. You weren’t even really dating. The whole thought process made your stomach twist and churn. 
“She’s pretty special,” Steve spoke up, making you jerk your gaze towards him once again, “I was dumb to let her go before.” He added, eyes locking onto yours as your throat suddenly felt too dry to speak. You didn’t know what to say, or what to do. You forced a smile, suddenly filled with guilt all over again.
You both took the role of cleaning the dishes while your grandparents retreated towards the living room after dinner, discussing something that one of the church leaders had said today. Their gossip was something you didn’t care to hear about at the moment. 
“Why are you still friends with Patty?” He asked you suddenly, eyebrows furrowing together as soap leaked off of his fingertips. You blinked in confusion, unsure of where that had come from. 
“She’s not that bad,” You said softly, “She took me in at school.” You shrugged your shoulders, supposing that a bad friend was better than none at all. She knew all of your secrets too, so she couldn’t be that bad. Maybe just whiny, but you still cared about her. 
“Yeah for her own selfish reasons,” He shook his head, “She’s kind of a bitch.” He mumbled underneath his breath, leaving you stunned. You hadn’t heard him ever say that before. 
“You weren’t the nicest either.” You reminded him gently, not trying to start an argument but wanting him to understand where you were coming from. He jolted at your response. 
“I’ve changed,” He defended himself, cheeks reddening, “She’s still the same. I don’t want her to hurt you.” He mumbled, fingers brushing against yours as he handed you a plate to dry. You felt a bit better suddenly, getting down to what he was upset about. But he didn��t need to worry about her hurting you. He needed to care for himself. 
“I haven’t spoken to her in a while anyways,” You told him honestly, “Why did you break up with her?” You asked softly, even though you had heard the story a hundred different times. 
“What did she tell you?” He asked suddenly, making you pause your motions for a second. You chewed on your bottom lip. 
“That you had gotten tired of her,” You started, trying to word it as carefully as you could, “Basically you dumped her for someone else.” Nancy Wheeler to be exact. And that was the nicest way you could explain it. 
“Yeah,” He laughed, “I caught her in between fourth period with her hand down Carl Johnson’s pants. It wasn’t working out anyways.” He said with a little shrug, smiling at you as you thought about her story once again. Perhaps a few pieces were off. 
“Oh,” You blinked slowly, “She never told me that.” You muttered, furrowing your eyebrows together as you wondered what else she had lied about. Hopefully not anything. But it didn’t make you feel very ecstatic about your situation. 
“Why would she?” He asked as he brushed his fingers across your palm, “It doesn’t make her sound very appealing.” You nodded your head in agreement, figuring that you owed her a call. 
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The truth is that if Snape had a standard beauty like Sirius and wasn't poor, he would be one of the most beloved characters in modern literature, like Anakin Skywalker.
But he is ugly and poor, so in our view as a society he needs to be labeled as an abuser/villain, his story, which is incredible and full of nuances, needs to be passed on to someone who fits the mold of what is considered appropriate (almost always Regulus).
Even Tom Riddle, the boy who killed 4 people before finishing Hogwarts, receives more love and understanding from fans than Snape.
I always thought that this new gratuitous hatred that I saw Snape receive came from the portion of fans who never read the books, only fanfics.
But seeing him being stripped of his story and the staunch defense that part of the fandom makes of others with a story a thousand times worse than Snape's makes it impossible not to connect this to his lack of status on the two fronts that “matter most” (money/beauty).
A study conducted in Great Britain proved that ugly people are more likely to be convicted of a crime. I will leave the source below.I am a lawyer, in college and throughout my professional life, I have seen underprivileged people being marginalized many times.
Their lives mean less. They are much more likely to be convicted of minor crimes than people with more income.
We judge fictional characters with the metrics we have for our reality. It is difficult to feel empathy for someone who is different from you/lives in a different reality than yours.
Someone who has been marginalized and bullied is much more likely to feel empathy for a character who goes through the same thing than someone who has never lived that reality.
There is also the issue that Snape was based on a real person, who had many characteristics of an autistic person, but these characteristics were villainized by the writer. Of course, we cannot lose sight of the fact that Harry Potter is a children's book, written in the 90s, and Snape was supposed to be this villainous teacher that we all had at some point in our lives.
But we all grow up and are able to see more than just the children's story; we are able to see the patterns we apply as a society and how we can combat them.
Would Snape, who was marginalized throughout his childhood, have had a better life if he had received the necessary support at school? To what extent can we blame someone who did not have structure/support, whether in the family environment and/or in society itself?And this of course does not apply only to Snape, but to a greater or lesser extent to other characters.
Ultimately, society itself creates its own villains, by ignoring doing the minimum necessary for the well-being of these individuals.
Source: https://www.standard.co.uk/hp/front/ugly-defendants-more-likely-to-be-found-guilty-than-attractive-ones-7276212.html
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rose-icosahedron · 9 months
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I miss Harry Potter.
Let me explain, since this sounds both weird and potentially like a red flag off the bat. But here we go.
We know now that JKR is a transphobe who uses the platform granted to her by the popularity of her book series to spread and justify her views. Talking positively these days is a dog-whistle for TERFs and Transphobia. And I know that retrospectively re-reading some of her works knowing her views it seems obvious in someways.
However, none of that mattered when I was a little kid who thought magic was cool and didn't have much media literacy. And tones of people who did liked the books too.
I have fond childhood memories of having the books read to me by my dad in the evening, and of going to the Harry Potter park(I think its in universal studios although I don't know) and absolutely loving the butterscotch slushie they had that they called butterbeer. I remember having incredibly detailed conversations with my family about the fact we were probably all Ravenclaws.
The first fanfic I ever read was "harry potter and the methods of rationality" a fic that was a complete re-write of the entire series that showed off various logical fallacies and addressed them, adding logic to the original series and being really the sort of thing my geeky family loved, which note, my dad read this fic to me when I was little, and it is honestly still one of my favorite fics of all time.
These were all good memories, and there was nothing wrong with them. My family enjoyed this series and the media around it and its fandom, tons of people did. We all did, honestly.
But now adays I don't think I could say all this without this context. Because of everything, it is almost impossible to say that you did enjoy this thing as a child and not call your younger self bad for that. For something that you could not have predicted or known about. And its sad, and I miss Harry Potter.
I'm not saying go and ignore what JKR is doing with her platform now and try and be giant Harry Potter fans all over the place, I'm just saying I'm sad. That that book series was, in many ways, good, or at least good enough to capture our imagination. People read and liked it for a reason and the joy many of us found in it was good, the work may not be but the memories were. I'm saying that those good memories weren't bad for happening, and that it sucks that it has all become what it as.
Don't feel bad for enjoying what you enjoyed.
You had fun as a kid, don't let an asshole take away the joy from those memories.
Or well, you don't have to. If you don't want to.
And I'm going to re-read the methods of rationality sometime because it was great and someone made an awesome audio book recording of it and I like the nostalgia that comes with it.
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imaybe5tupid · 3 months
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if you see absolutely anything that has kabru in it. And are unable to stop yourself from making it about L/abru (even when Laios doesn’t even appear or is irrelevant to the content in question!) and reduce kabrus entire deuteragonist-level character into wanting to fuck laios. I’m stealing something out of your house!!!!!
disclaimer: If you ship l/abru and gaf about kabru and don’t do this then this post isn’t about you 🤓
#I love kabru so much but finding content of him is so painful bro I cant#Flames flames flames up the side of my face!#I constantly consider just nuking my account and forgetting I ever read or cared about dungeon meshi many times bc of this lol#I care him so much. More than I care about dungeon Meshi as a work as much as I respect it and it’s fun to create for#I can’t be normal about this genuinely I never get like this but I turn into A.M from I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream#Laios and kabrus connection is really sweet in the end and I don’t ship it but like the ship it’s so inoffensive in abstract just not for m#But in reality every day I get jumpscared by the things people are doing to my angel#Like just do laios self shipping that’s clearly what you daft cunts actually want why puppeteer kabru free my boy#I promised I would never post like this but like it really makes me so mad lol. And want to just go back to not looking up anything online#And I already specifically curate my experience to a crazy degree.#But the way that this fandom revolves around babying laios is crazy dude#Like every single thing is about poor poor laios#like he’s the main character but it’s insane even people who LIKE him have to put disclaimers when saying even jokey mean things#Because then 1000x idpol white autistic people will descend upon them otherwise#And I say this as an autistic person of colour it’s annoying asf lol I do not respect any of you! To put it mildly!#If the only way you can engage with characters or stories is through vectors which You can personally project onto and relate to#I’m doing a lot more than fucking stealing something out of your house!#It’s the most normal thing on earth to not like the main character of a series but I feel if you genuinely hated laios#And are not just “guilty” of criticising him or appreciating his flawed character. Then the legions of cornballs will descend on you#The only good spaces are small pockets of people engaging with each other together. The rest lol nuclear devastation#but I suppose that’s the nature of fandoms lol why complain about clowns at the circus 🚶#Like there’s literally characters whose main purpose in the story IS their relationship/dynamic with laios. Kabru is NOT JUST THAT!!#He is a deuteragonist!#Treat him like one!#Like why are people talking about labru on my freaking kaburin and kabushuro posts dude free me
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sen-ya · 9 days
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I know i already said this but i don't like lawlu but i di really like Your art (edgy law) and it's kinda weird, i feel guilty, especialy for law mpreg, i mean, it's.. pretty weird
Anyway i love Your art and i so i Guess it's ok
hi! this is a weird ask to get but let's talk about it! because my first thought is hey if you dont like it good news: it's not for you. it's for me! and i was absolutely terrified to share my art on the internet after a decade of not doing that for these exact reasons: people won't like it, people will think im weird, people will say shitty things about something thats personal to me. it may change who i am as an artist! and at first, esp w pregnant law stuff, it was really important to me that people knew if i was gonna share it it's because im a trans person with a uterus who was working through some feelings using a fictional character as a vessel. but now?? it's just FUN. im having fun!!! with people i would have NEVER met if I hadn't braved this wide internet! it doesnt have to be that deep -- sometimes it is -- it can just be fuckin fun!!! so im glad you think my art is nice. im happy that for the first time in years i also think my art is nice!! but if you can't look at my work without feeling judgemental enough that you need to let me know -- none of it's for you :^) every law i draw is trans. every law i draw loves luffy. every law i draw is a wet cat of a man who is also low key what i wish i looked like. if you think im weird he's weird! get out of our sandbox kindly!
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iwonderwh0 · 1 year
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More like a headcanon, but I like this one
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willyhoos · 7 months
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a very self indulgent twipri au i made... vampire!zelda x vampire hunter!link..
in which a rancher from ordon is suddenly afflicted with lycanthropy, and hunts down the cursed hylian queen who is absolutely, DEFINITELY responsible for it...
(spoilers: he's Mega Wrong)
a bit more info about the au below the cut!
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"Link, go assassinate the Hylian queen so we can go back to living normally." instructions unclear i have fallen in love with her
midna is somewhere probably maybe once i figure out what to do with her .
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