#like it does feel like the logical conclusion but like

[rosyandraw]

idk if this is redundant on your end but thoughts on Damen needing to talk during sex? in the books it isn’t even dirty talk it’s just endless want for Laurent and how long he’s been waiting for him and how different Laurent feels. Also in canon & in ur own writing

Definitely not redundant! You have just knocked on the Damen Character Study door in my head lmao but it's late and idk how much sense this will make so i'm sorry in advance.

Mini meta on Why Damen Likes to Talk During Sex in Canon

First and foremost words are hugely important to Damen, not just during sex but in general. It is part of the reason that Vere trips him up so badly, why he just doesn’t get it. Because Vere is a veil of word play and innuendo, it’s double speak and flowery bullshit and lies.

That’s not Damen. His word is his bond, it’s tied to his honour and they mean a great deal to him. He never says anything he doesn’t mean. Ever. If it’s coming out of his mouth he is saying that shit with his whole damn chest and doesn't give a fuck.

The few times he is forced to lie or to say something he doesn’t mean he says it as a strategy play but it barely makes it out of his mouth and he hates it.

For a long time by the time they get to Ravenel Damen has been playing a part. Living a half truth and not saying everything he means. Or wants to say.

Likewise, in Akielos, Damen keeps himself held back. We know this because in 3 books, despite being the darling crown prince and heroic military leader, he mentions 1 person by name that he is actually and genuinely close to. One. He’s never been in love with anyone before Laurent, he doesn’t get close, he doesn’t get particularly attached. If he did Jokaste would have been a Princess and not just his mistress.

It speaks of a whole heap of childhood trauma and issues, thanks in large part to his father and Kastor and this picture that is painted of strength in Akielos being The Most Important Thing. (And i have too many thoughts on said implied trauma to write it all out properly here because it's an essay unto itself.)

We also know that Damen does the talking thing with Jokaste too. So we know it's an indicator of intimacy in bed for him. He's certainly not doing it in Vask, for example. Because Damen values words so highly he does wear his heart on his sleeve, but he guards that heart close. Sharing his feelings becomes something then tied to both the value Damen places on words and the lack of emotional intimacy in his life. To Damen, opening up like that especially during sex, is an act of giving unto its self.

Damen is strong, yes. Crazy strong and the perfect warrior. But he also likes the wordy sad poems and has craved approval (and affection) from his father and Kastor seemingly most of his life. For example, Kastor stabbed him and made Damen believe with words that it was a good thing because it meant Kastor respected him enough to fight him like a man.

It’s the perfect anecdote to draw all of those ideas together. Damen being happy about being stabbed at 13 by his brother because Kastor said it was a good thing to be strong enough to fight properly and bear the consequences.

Words matter to Damen, he assumes they do to other people too. It's what nearly gets him killed.

It’s funny really, because Damen values words but he himself is a man of action and Laurent values action but is a man of words.

When it comes to sex we see them swap places from their usual dynamic and therein lies the intimacy.

Laurent acts and Damen talks. It’s a complete role reversal and it was always meant to be. Pacat has said, several times, that Laurent tops Damen with words all the time and it was a purposeful choice to have Laurent bottom because of this. So to follow that through to it's logical conclusion for the sex scenes to really hit we needed to see them swap places completely and Damen needed to talk.

Laurent is a mouthy little shit but when it comes to his important scenes (the building of their intimacy and their sex scenes) it's never his words that he's speaking loudest with. Like when he just hugged Damen after the meeting with Jokaste in KR or when he went to get ice for him in PG, it's an offering in place of words and Laurent does it frequently: letting his actions speak louder than any of his words because to Laurent words don't really matter, lies are too easy. He's been taken in by words before.

Damen gets to Laurent through his actions and it's Laurent's moments of honesty, of saying something unexpected, that make Damen really pay attention. This isn't to say that Laurent's actions don't get to him, they do of course, but only really when Damen comes to realise that's how Laurent is being honest. Likewise in reverse for Laurent.

It's the language the other understands that allows the distance to bridge, but the intimacy comes in the opposite every time.

So when they fall into bed Laurent instigates with action, all three times they are together. And Damen talks. Because it’s the thing that is important to them that they are willingly giving and sharing and that is what makes it intimate.  

Quite simply, Damen holds himself back emotionally so talking during sex like that is a way for Damen to let go and to let his partner know that's it not just sex. Laurent, in reverse, shows his want through the instigation and by the time it happens they both know what it means: Laurent never does that and Damen knows it. Laurent knows Damen says what he fucking means.

It's such an intimate sex scene because of that awareness.

In my writing I kind of try to take that and run with it. Damen says what he means and what he wants Laurent to hear, because words of affirmation are important to him personally so he makes sure to share that.

Plus, it’s just sexy, you know? Got to love a man who talks in bed, that sex rough voice when he’s so far gone you know what his saying is just the shit flying through his head?

Hot.

Loved this ask so much. I could literally write a thesis on Damen lmao

[essektheylyss]

I know I made a post about it but I really just need to lay on the ground and think about the description of dunamis as "the very nature of the cosmos" I have been saying this for OVER THREE YEARS

[princsstwilightsparkl]

saying "if aroace people can date, then can lesbians date men?" is absolutely aphobic narrative btw!

[thedreadvampy]

unwarranted Cis Opinion but I'm getting really uncomfortable w people responding to bathroom bills by posting pictures of trans men like DO YOU WANT THEM IN WOMEN'S BATHROOMS

bc like. no they're men. they should be in men's bathrooms unless that feels unsafe. but. it really feels like it's not helpful to lean into the idea that seeing someone presenting masc or being read as a man in a women's bathroom means You're In Danger.

like I know several butch women and NB ppl who are really scared around being on T or getting top surgery bc they're not men and they don't want to be in the men's bathroom, and in that circumstance stuff like growing facial hair or reading more androgynously can be really fucking scary when people are being primed by propaganda to be on edge and hyperreactive to anyone who doesn't look like their idea of a Cis Woman.

and I'm not laying that at the feet of the people saying "hey uhhhh trans men are men and don't belong in women's bathrooms" bc it is not their fault. it's the fault of a concerted effort to make it difficult and dangerous to be trans or substantively gender nonconforming in public.

but at the same time idk I guess it just worries me cause sometimes it feels like "you fools! you are worried about this group of trans people bc you think they're the Lurking Danger of Men In Bathrooms? WRONG! the Men Making You Feel Afraid In Bathrooms are actually THESE trans people!" when in fact neither of those groups using the fucking bathroom is a problem. just piss and mind your business. people need to go where they need to go.

anyway this country is a hot fucking trash fire that somehow accelerates its descent into open fascism more every day so it's all super good and normal. so don't take this too seriously tbh cause it's somewhere near #2535654476457899009765 on the list of priorities for Queer Discourse right now when the fucking human rights commission is actively rescinding protections from trans people. Please ignore my gibberish.

[sketchy-scribs-n-doods]

to add on to the philosophy of 'you're not unattractive you're just not your type' -

sometimes, you gotta see yourself in other people first in order to comprehend your own beauty

this works both in body positive and in gender affirming ways of course. who among us has not felt better about the things that cause us gender dysphoria after seeing someone else w the same features absolutely own it?

but today i'm mostly thinking about being at the grocery store and seeing the beauty in a stranger's exposed belly as their skin folds when they reach around for something and their croptop rides up, hips turning and revealing pale stretch marks.

like. oh. yeah my belly folds like that. my hips look like that. and they're beautiful.

or when a cashier at the gas station laughs at a joke you made and when they smile it's all pink gums and little peeking teeth.

and you think wow. what a lovely smile. i smile like that.

idk. i just think that falling in love with the mundane beauty of the people around you can sometimes help remind you of your own quiet beauty.

[socially-anxious-wizard]

Denji is on the Aromantic and Asexual spectrum, send tweet.

[blackgumball]

i know intellectually that america isnt over yet but it seems like the last season of a tv show that was never any good but has been noticeably decreasing in quality for the past couple years

[quietwingsinthesky]

like. okay. i have no real horse in the race of “which brother is the secret bad abuser” because the show does not actually care about that or think that either of them is actually treating each other that badly (except for when sam get manipulated, which is always his own fault and he should suffer for it /s)

but what i will say is that the way dean is written sometimes manages to make me more uncomfortable than any of the villains on this show. dean scares me. completely unintentionally, they did write a guy who only gets Worse over time, and it’s compelling, and it’s upsetting for me to watch.

[soft-serve-soymilk]

Actually I’ve come to the conclusion that Cynthia would like Kingdom Hearts for the exact same reason she likes Graces f (the homoerotic tension,,,,,,)

[acaciapines]

writing is so funny actually bc im in the last stretch of my owl house daemon au and im just NOW like holy shit what if i make the azura book series subject to intense banned book bullshit for daring to show unconventional human-daemon relationships a la what luz and mari have going on. what if it violates the middle grades unspoken book rule of always having your child characters settle by the end. what if azura is the name of the DAEMON

[holydramon]

I do think some people need to understand that like. Sometimes people have different opinions on things. Like just because someone dislikes something it doesn’t mean the person is stupid and doesn’t understand the story and nuance. People can still understand everything and still come to a different personal conclusion than you, and you just. Need to accept that.

Your take is not inherently more correct or valid or smarter than anyone else’s, and just because you disagree with someone it doesn’t mean they don’t know what they’re talking about.

[dullahandyke]

was gonna make a post bitching about how being a princess of heart works but then i remembered the whole union cross 'the 13 darknesses are sentient' thing and came up with my own theories but ive looped back around to being mad again. goddd why does shit actually work when you think about it im so mad

[crowtits]

okay im late to the party but like. are y'all taking claire/carmy seriously? bc like all this narrative framing is presenting a very clear choice between claire and the restraunt. this is not even me having my syd/carmy hat on (tho, yea it's on), im talking about the actual commitment that carmy has to the restraunt. everyone is concerned about his focus (the fridge as the most obvious example), and carmy keeps saying that he is focused but claire is always there (as a thought or a phone call if not in person). she literally calls him as he is about to call the fridge guy in ep9. the one thing that everyone's been asking him to do, and while he doesn't answer her call, it distracts him and then he gets distracted further by something else. this is Right After the big talk with uncle jimmy about focus. this can't be any more obvious.

im not saying i dislike claire, im saying the show is not presenting her as an actual character. like. this is 100% a set up for carmy having to choose between claire (a stand in for a normal life/personal happiness) and the restraunt (the restraunt)

[the-best-bagel]

ok final verdict tiger and bunny 2 is really good and a huge improvement on the og HOWEVER. lunatic's ending was bizzare rushed depressing and went against everything his arc was pointing to. like it felt like some hayes code contrived bullshit

[curiouschaosstarlight]

Me in any and every social situation I don't wanna be in:

[fagmegumi]

finally gotten around to completing my csm pt1 reread and im also up to date on p2 and im about to say something i could be hung on the cross flayed and quartered for but. Jjk is literally a better manga