#like it does feel like the logical conclusion but like

[qqueenofhades]

do you have any advice for those in the very early stages of thesis-writing? currently desperately clinging to the mantra of "shitty first drafts," et al

Unfortunately, there is no place where you will more whole-assedly have to embrace the "shitty first draft" mantra than in academic writing, especially in thesis writing, especially if this is your first-ish crack at an advanced and major piece of original research. I'm not sure if this is for an undergraduate senior thesis, a MA-level thesis, or (my true and heartfelt sympathies) a PhD dissertation, but the basic principles of it will remain the same. So there is that, at least. This means that yes, you will write something, you may even feel slightly proud of it, and then you will hand it into your supervisor and they will more or less kindly dismantle it. You have to train yourself to have a thick skin about this and not take it as a personal insult, and if your supervisor is remotely good at their job (not all of them are, alas) they will know how to be tactful about it and not make it feel like a direct and extensive commentary on your private worth as a person. But you will have to swallow it and do what you can, which can include -- if you're the one who has done the research and know that's how you want to present it and/or you are correct about it -- pushing back and having a conversation with them about how you think your original approach does work best. But that will come later. The first step is, yes, to mentally gird yourself to receive critical feedback on something that you have worked hard on, and to understand that no matter how much you grump and grumble and deservedly vent to your friends and so on, implementing the feedback will usually make your piece better and stronger. That is the benefit of working with a trained expert who knows what makes a good piece of research in your particular academic field, and while it doesn't get easier, per se, at least it gets familiar. Be not afraid, etc.

If you're in the writing stage, I assume that you've moved past the topic-selection and general-research stage, but allow me to plump once more the services of your friendly local university library. You can (or at least you can at mine and probably in any decently well-equipped research university) schedule a personal consultation with an expert librarian, who can give you tips on how to find relevant subject databases, create individual research guides (these might already be available on the university library website for classes/general topics), and otherwise level you up to Shockingly Competent Research Superhero. So if you're still looking for a few extra sources, or for someone else who might be reading this and is still in the "how the heck do I find appropriate and extensive scholarly literature for my thesis??" stage, please. Go become a Research Ninja. It's much easier when you have a minion doing half the work for you, but please do appreciate and make use of your university librarian. It's much more effective than haphazard Google Scholar or JSTOR searches hoping to turn up something vaguely relevant (though to be fair, we all do that too), and it's what your tuition dollars are paying for.

Next, please do remind yourself that you are not writing the whole thesis in one go, and to break it down into manageable chunks. It usually does make sense to write the whole thing semi-chronologically (i.e. introduction, lit review, chapter 1, chapter 2/3/4 etc, conclusion), because that allows you to develop your thoughts and make logical connections, and to build on one piece to develop the next. If you're constantly scrambling between chapters and zig-zagging back and forth as things occur to you, it will be harder to focus on any one thought or thread of research, and while you might get more raw output, it will not be as good and will require more correction and revision, so you're not actually hacking yourself into increased productivity. You should also internally structure your chapters in addition to organizing your overall thesis, so it makes sense to draw up a rough outline for section A, section B, section C within the body of a single chapter. This will make you think about why the segues are going in that order and what a reasonably intelligent reader, who nonetheless may not have the specialized knowledge that you are demonstrating for them, needs to move understandably from one section to the next.

Some academics I know like to do an extensive outline, dumping all their material into separate documents for each chapter/paper and kneading and massaging and poking it into a more refined shape, and if that works for you -- great! I'm more of the type that doesn't bother with a ton of secondary outlines or non-writing activity, since that can lead you away from actually writing, but if you need to see the fruit of your research all together in one place before you can start thinking about how it goes together, that is also absolutely the way that some people do it. Either way, to be a successful academic writer, you have to train yourself to approach academic writing in a very different way from fun writing. You do fun writing when you have free time and feel inspired and can glop a lot of words down at once, or at least some words. You do it electively and for distraction and when you want to, not to a set timeline or schedule, and alas, you can't do this for academic writing. You will have to sit your ass down and write even when you do not feel like writing, do not feel Magically Inspired, don't even want to look at the fucking thing, etc. I have had enough practice that I can turn on Academic Writing Brain, sit down, bang something out, sit down the next day and turn on Academic Editing Brain, go over it again, and send it off, but I have been in academia for uh, quite a while. The good news is that you can also automate yourself to be the same way, but the bad news is that it will take practice and genuine time invested in it.

As such, this means developing a writing schedule and sticking to it, and figuring out whether you work best going for several hours without an interruption, or if you set a timer, write for a certain time, then allow yourself to look at the internet/answer texts/fuck around on Tumblr, and then make yourself put down the distraction and go back to work for another set period of time. (I am admittedly horrible at putting my phone away when I should be doing something else, but learn ye from your wizened elders, etc.) You will have to figure out in which physical space you work best, which may not be a public coffee shop where you can likewise get distracted with doing other things/chatting to friends/screwing around on the internet/doomscrolling/peeking at AO3, and to try to be there as often as possible. It might be your carrel in the library, it might be your desk at home, it might be somewhere else on campus, but if you can place yourself in a setting that tells your brain it's time to work and not look at WhatsApp for the 1000th time in a row, that is also beneficial.

Finally, remember that you do not have to produce an absolutely world-beating, stunningly original, totally flawless and perfect piece, even in its final form. Lots of us write very shitty things when we're starting out (and some of us, uh, still write very shitty things as established academics), and you do not have to totally redefine your entire field of study or propose a groundbreaking theory that nobody has heard of or anything like that. A lot of academic work is small-scale and nuanced, filling in spaces on the margins of other things or responding or offering a new perspective on existing work, and it's best to think of it as a conversation between yourself and other scholars. They have said something and now you're saying something back. You don't need to be so brilliant that everyone goes ZOMGZ I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF THAT BEFORE; by its nature that happens very rarely and is usually way out on a limb (extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence, etc); you just need to continue the dialogue with a reasonably well-constructed and internally plausible piece. So if you think of it that way, and understand that a shitty first draft will usually develop into something that is good and valuable but not SHOCKING NEW REVELATION clickbait hype, you will take some of the pressure off yourself and be more able to shut up that perfectionist voice in your head. However, all of us have some degree of imposter syndrome and it never entirely goes away, so you'll have to manage that too. Etc etc as before, it doesn't vanish altogether, but it gets easier.

And last but not least, though I'm sure I don't have to say this: for the love of fuckin' god, do not use ChatGPT. Even the genuinely shittiest paper in the world that you still worked on researching, organizing, and writing with your own brain is better than that. Trust me.

[ok8oriska]

you show me yours, i'll show you mine

remus lupin x scarred!reader | reader wears makeup

When you meet Remus for the first time, you start to rethink everything you had ever thought about yourself. There are a few truths you believe to be self-evident. First, you did not fit into the society-accepted standard of beauty. You felt ugly on the best days and horribly and utterly disfigured on the worst. Second, because of this, no one would ever love you. A truly terrible misfortune granted to you by accidental circumstance.

Remus is the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen, which is funny because he is covered in scars, too. Where yours are volcanic red, scattered across your face and neck like shattered glass, his are slivers of pure starlight, stitches of silver skin holding, creating a kintsugi masterpiece. He takes your breath away.

Your scars aren’t the most visible, hidden by layers of thick makeup that you wear like armor. You’ve avoided sleepovers as a rule since your accident, never allowing anyone behind the mask. But now, after weeks of courting and months of dating, Remus is in your flat, intending to stay the night.

You’re antsy and borderline a nervous wreck. What if he doesn’t like you? The real you. What if he takes one look and heads for the hills? Then he’s a hypocrite, you decide. You know him not to be. The Remus you know, kind, gentle, loving, could look past something like your scars right? He wouldn’t let them come between the two of you? You hope, you beg, you plead.

Said Remus exits the bathroom, dressed in his sleep clothes, to find you gnawing your lip on the couch, deep in thought.

“You alright?” He asks, kneeling in front of you. Your eyes don’t meet his, instead, they stare off into a distance. You nod, despite this and he doesn’t believe you for a second.

“What’s wrong?”

You sigh. Closing your eyes and opening them to bore into his soul. “You might not like me anymore.”

“What? Whatever for?”

“I’m going to take my makeup off and you might not like me anymore.”

He nods. “There are very few things you could do that would make me stop liking you. I doubt baring your face is on the list.”

You stand and head to the bathroom. Heart in your stomach. The process of getting unready is one that you dread. Facing yourself after a long day of hiding away. They’re just scars, you tell yourself. He has them, too. But Remus hates his scars, so won’t he hate yours? The thought makes you nauseous.

You exit the bathroom and find him in your room. For a moment, you just stare at each other. You duck your head to avoid the weight of it all.

“Here I am,” you say, fidgety.

“Beautiful as ever,” he stands, moving to hold your biceps in his hands. “Why were you so afraid, dove?”

You look up at him. “You hate your scars; why wouldn’t you hate mine, too?”

He winces, and one hand moves to rub at the back of his neck. “That is, unfortunately, a logical conclusion.”

You give him a look. See? I told you so. A look that normally would melt him, but instead, now he feels incredibly guilty.

A sigh escapes you. “Maybe we both need to work on being kinder to ourselves,” you chide a slight smile playing on your lips.

A crooked grin makes its way across his. “Maybe.”

“Will you kiss me now?”

“Of course.”

And he does.

[babydollslibrary]

THE GREAT WAR — JACK HUGHES

jack hughes x fem!reader

published: March 17th, 2023

summary: in which y/n sees a picture of Jack talking to a girl at a bar and her insecurities come to light. // the night y/n accuses Jack of cheating and they almost break up.

specific lyrics: “and maybe it’s the past that’s talking, screaming from the crypt. telling me to punish you for things you never did.” and “somewhere in the haze, got a sense i’ve been betrayed.” and “that was the night i nearly lost you. i really thought i’d lost you.”

warnings: past relationship trauma, mentions of cheating (but no actual cheating), not proofread.

GIF by nicodaws

my past relationships were a graveyard of toxicity. full of cheating exes, manipulation, and verbal abuse. i accepted the love i thought i deserved. i would stay with these guys for months or possibly longer before being convinced by my friends to break up with them. but the cycle came to an end when i met Jack.

he’s kind, caring, loyal, loving, and always made sure that i knew how much he appreciated me. maybe that’s why i had so much trust in him. it’s why i never felt the need to check his snap map and find out where he was, or file through his instagram dm’s to see if he was talking to other girls. it’s why i felt comfortable and content staying at home if he wanted to go out and celebrate a win with his team; like tonight.

but somewhere in the haze of love and admiration, i’ve got a sense that i’ve been led astray and possibly betrayed. maybe it’s my past sneaking up on me and placing doubts in my head, maybe it’s insecurities overtaking my mind. all i know is that in this moment, laying in our bed, time has frozen as i’m locked on a picture of him talking to a girl at a club. with the Devils winning their game tonight, he had told me he would be going out with a few of the guys to celebrate, even offered for me to come, but i had a migraine and i didn’t feel like partying tonight, so i had given him the go ahead to go without me. i trusted him, i figured he would go out and have some drinks and then come home and slip in bed with me. but with this picture posted five minutes ago by a fan account claiming he was spotted flirting in a club in Hoboken, all my worst fears have come to light.

logically, i know i shouldn’t jump to conclusions. that the account could be wrong and that i should trust my boyfriend more than to assume he would try and cheat on me. but i’m here, and they’re there. i have no idea what could’ve been happening, maybe they’re right. this girl is definitely prettier than me by a tenfold, i can’t even blame him. maybe she doesn’t have the relationship trauma that i do, maybe she’s better than me in every inconceivable way. i don’t know, but now he does.

turning off my phone and dropping it on my nightstand, i spend the next hour tossing and turning. my mind constantly drifting to where my boyfriend may be, what he might be doing. and when it passed twelve thirty and he still wasn’t home like he usually would be, i immediately jump to the conclusion that i was right. he cheated on me. all my previous boyfriends have, so why wouldn’t he? there’s something wrong with me. i’m not enough. i’m not worthy of one of the great loves. this is what i must come to accept.

it’s around one thirty in the morning when i finally hear the distant sound of the front door opening and closing, Jack’s footsteps quiet once he’s taken off his shoes and i know he’s tiptoeing in order to avoid waking me. but i’m already awake. which he discovers when he opens our bedroom door.

“hey, baby.” he gives me a soft smile, making his way over to press a kiss to my forehead. “what are you doing awake?”

his clothes aren’t disheveled like my previous lovers would’ve been after a rendezvous, and he doesn’t smell like perfume.

maybe she doesn’t wear perfume.

“who is she?” my voice is barely above a whisper, but he makes out what i said. his brows furrow in confusion, and i have to hand it to him, he does look genuinely confused.

“who?” he asks. i grab my phone, pulling the picture back up. shoving the device into his hands.

“her.”

“oh. i don’t know.” he shrugs, turning the phone off and placing it back on my nightstand. “she came up to me and said she was at the game. congratulated me on the win. why? do you know her?”

“no. i figured you did. the caption said you were flirting with her.” i shrug, trying to feign indifference. he huffs out a laugh, stripping down to change into his pajamas.

“flirting with her? i think i spoke about five words to her before i went back to the guys.” he tells me, pulling his pj pants on. his brows form a ‘v’ and he looks back at me. “wait- do you think i was cheating on you? or even trying to?”

i shrug, not giving him a proper response, and it only seems to frustrate him.

“what the hell, y/n?” his voice is a mix of anger and hurt.

“what?” i mumble.

“when have i ever given the impression that i want anyone else?” he asks.

“none of the others gave the impression.” i explain. “they just, did it.”

“well i’m not your exes, y/n/n. i’m not the self-centered assholes that you used to date.” his words are harsh, and finger pointing. sounding like he’s putting blame more on me for dating them in the first place than the actual guys who used me. “i thought we established that a long time ago.”

“all i know is i’ve been in this position before and they were lying.” i rise from the bed now, sick of feeling lower than him in more ways than one.

“so you think i’m lying? is that it?” he raises his voice, obviously not happy with my accusations.

he’s deflecting.

“i don’t know!” i yell back. “i don’t know anymore!”

“right.” his one worded response is spoken scarily calm, joined by a nod of his head. he wanders around the room, slipping a t-shirt on and grabbing clothes off of wire hangers from our closet, stuffing them in a duffle bag.

“what are you doing?” i ask him, frantic and nervous.

“i’m not staying here while you accuse me of things i haven’t done. i’m going to sleep at Nico’s.” he tells me.

“you’re just gonna leave?” he zips up the bag, walking out of our bedroom. i follow him down the hall like a shadow, attached to him.

“i don’t know how we’re gonna work if you can’t trust me.” he says, slipping his shoes back on. he grabs his keys from the hook and turns back to me. “i love you. but i can’t be with you if you’re not gonna at least try and trust me. you asked me who she was, i told you the truth, and you still can’t accept that someone might love you enough to choose you.”

i don’t even get to respond before he leaves, too frozen to form words. my lips are parted and i stand in the entryway for a good five minutes before the weight of what just happened finally falls on me. crumpling to the floor in a mess of sobs and useless pleas for him to come back. Nico’s apartment is only a couple floors above our own, he must already be there, so my words are worthless now.

this has never happened before. he was telling the truth and i couldn’t even believe him because i’m so broken by my previous experiences. i knew that he didn’t do anything. i knew that he loves me and he would never do anything to purposefully hurt me, but my past was screaming at me not to listen to him, not to believe him because we’ve seen this before. but i was right this time. not my past. me.

i’ve lost him. i lost him because i couldn’t believe that he would choose me over another girl.

it feels like years before i’m able to move myself to our bedroom, when in reality it was probably more like twenty minutes. in bed, curled into the fetal position with tears still streaming down my face, i’m unable to fall asleep once more. tossing and turning for the second time tonight, only this time, due to my own actions.

**

i’ve lost track of the time. the sun beams in through the open window blinds now, but i’ve yet to sleep. i ran out of tears hours ago, now just blankly staring at the wall as i replay the events of last night in my head for what must be the millionth time. my heart aches in my chest and my head hurts from all the crying and the lack of sleep.

i’m zoned out. apparently enough that i don’t hear the sound of the front door or the footsteps echoing through the apartment. i don’t notice the dip of the bed or someone else’s breathing. it isn’t until i feel an arm snake around my waist that i know Jack has returned. i jolt in surprise when his skin presses against mine, and i turn over to look at his face. he looks just as rough as i feel.

“you left.” i state, my voice raspy from disuse and the sobs i let out mere hours ago.

“and i came back.” he whispers, tucking an awry strand of hair behind my ear. “i just needed some time to think.”

“oh.”

“Nico helped me realize that i need to be patient. you’ve trusted me this long, and i can’t expect everything to be sunshine and rainbows. you’ve been through hell. you’re so strong for putting up with what you went through, and i can understand now why you might have some doubts. because, i’m not your exes, but you didn’t think they were who they were either. they led you to believe they were amazing people and then called you crazy for thinking they were with other women. but you weren’t. and i’m not them, but i need to let you figure that out on your own. you saw something and it triggered you, it made you think of your past. i should’ve been more understanding about that instead of blowing up at you.”

“no. i should’ve been more trusting. i know you, and i know you would never hurt me. i just had this voice in my head telling me that you were like them and in order to protect myself, i listened to it. but, you’re not like them, and i only ended up hurting us both. you’ve proven time and time again that you aren’t them. i just- i need to remember that. you’re so good to me, and you’re such an amazing guy, and i think i just thought you might be too good to be true, so i was searching for something wrong. but i’m sorry, Jack. i’m so sorry for not believing you.”

his lips press against mine, soft and slow, pouring all his love into a sweet and tender kiss. pulling away, he lays his forehead against mine.

“i love you. it’ll be a process; having to unlearn all your overly-defensive mechanisms. you were trying to protect yourself, and that’s understandable, but i’m never going to hurt you. at least, not on purpose. but, i’ll be here every step of the way until you realize just how important you are to me. i don’t need anyone else. i have you.” his voice is soft, his words spoken gently and yet confidently.

“i really thought i lost you.” i murmur, burying my head into his neck and i cling to him tightly, refusing to let him go again.

“never.”

-

[1moreff-creator]

You've done this before so this is exclusively self indulgent but can you give your thoughts on DRDT foil theory again haha... I'm enamored by it and think about it daily.

I'll point out as well that there's been a trend regarding which characters are relevant to the chapter's case based on the order of the foils so far.

In chapter 1 it was [Xander, Min, Teruo & Charles] while in chapter 2 it was [Eden, Arei, Nico, Ace] - following this train of logic next chapter's main players would be [Hu, Veronika, Rose, J].

Hu's arc has just started (her beliefs are being challenged), Veronika became worst + Arturo is going to be centered at the start of chapter 3, Rose's arc just started + a money motive would be relevant to her & J's conflict with Arturo is going to be centered at the start of chapter 3.

Feel free to ignore this if you feel it's too repetitive, I just like it when I see people talking about my theory lol.

Well, if the creator of the recap foil theory asks me to talk about it, who am I to deny? It's probably, like, in my top three theories about DRDT, so I'm gonna enjoy talking about it! :D

(Btw I totally get you about enjoying when people talk about your theory. Whenever I see someone mention one of my posts I always go ":O that's me :D" it's great lol)

CW: Murder, electrocution, execution, suicide, self-harm, eating disorders, discrimination against a non-binary person, manipulation, poverty, harmful environments during childhood.

As a quick recap (heh): at the end of the CH1 recap video, the characters are paired up in a certain way. The theory states that they're paired up in a way that represents some of the most important foils in the cast. And... well, it seems to hold up quite well! I'll talk about them here in the order they show up in the recap video.

1) Xander & Min

And what a start! These two are basically eternal foils, with everything about their characters being contrasted with each other in some way or another. From the very first moment they're seen together, in Min's introduction, they immediately start beefing simply due to their respective talents.

The biggest point of contrast comes from their past with education. From Visiting Graves, we know Xander used to be a diligent student like Min, but he stopped when his family died while he was away studying. He's come to the conclusion that the things taught in school are oftentimes kind of useless for most people's lives, and his rejection of the education system kickstarted his rebellion against systemic issues in general.

Min, for her part, actually has a lot of the same views. Her Bonus Episode makes that pretty clear; she doesn't think things like Hope's Peak's history are really all that useful, and feels insecure because she doesn't see the same value in her talent as she does in others. However, Min still wants to maintain her talent, at least in title, seen as her first instinct when the killing game started was to grab an anatomy textbook and start studying it. Meanwhile, Xander dislikes his talent title greatly, as he believes calling him a "Rebel" undermines the stuff he does.

All of this is literally baked into their first interaction, as mentioned before. Xander seems to project heavily on Min upon first meeting her, assuming that she probably has no hobbies or friends if she's the Ultimate Student and judging her for it quickly. Min isn't particularly thrilled over that, given he knows nothing about her life.

Speaking of backstories, there's other points in those where they contrast. Particularly, the involvement of large companies and rich people in said backstories. Duke Spurling did a thing that killed Xander's entire family, which was the inciting incident for Xander officially leaving behind his studious nature. Meanwhile, XF-Ture Tech helped Min's family out of property, but pushed Min into studiousness for the Ultimate Student title; more or less the opposite of what Spurling did for Xander.

The same can be said of their relationship with Hope's Peak, which is elaborated on in the Bonus Episodes. Xander went to Hope's Peak for some kind of ulterior motive-

Unnamed Classmate [BE2]: I think your ability to get back from adversity is really admirable. That determination of yours is admirable. If you set out to do something, then never give up on that, no matter what obstacles may stand in your way. Even if it's risky or against the rules, as long as it's for a good cause... I'll trust that you know to do the right thing. Xander: Yeah, of course. That's why I've come to Hope's Peak, isn't it?

-which we can somewhat confidently assume to be bad for the school given Xander's... Everything. For Min's side, just getting to Hope's Peak was Min's entire goal for the entirety of her childhood, playing right into the hands of the Ultimate Contest for Eminent Students, and thus into the school's hands.

By the way, if you go back and look at what Absolutely-Not-Mai says to Xander, the idea of "bouncing back from adversity" could be connected to Min's whole "mistakes are to be corrected" thing. This one's an insane stretch, though.

For another point, though I don't know much about this particular topic, I find even their designs are opposites in some ways. Although arguably that's more a result of them being foils in general and DRDT having good character design but y'know.

Both of them seem to wear some kind of school uniform, but in totally different ways. Xander does everything he can to stylize his, be it wearing his coat as a cape, or getting a tongue piercing specifically because they weren't allowed and he could hide it, as stated in a Q&A, doing everything he can to fight against this institution. On the other hand, Min wears hers normally, and several Q&A answers clarify that she finds comfort in the colors and style of her uniform. One fights against institutions, the other works withing their systems (Min even wants to be a teacher which is an extension of that idea), you get the point.

Also this plays into the theme of fate because of course it does. Just replace "institutions" with "fate" and you kinda get the point. Xander fights against it, Min accepts it. Or, she accepts the fate of being the Ultimate Student, at least.

Their relationships with other characters, Teruko and David in particular, is another point of foiling. I've brought this up before, but as a recap: Xander betrayed Teruko so she openly hates him even though her real feelings are much more complicated than that, while Min tried to save her only to then panic and try to win the class trial, which causes Teruko to openly hate her even though her real feelings are much more complicated than that. But Teruko takes on Min's philosophy of fixing mistakes in the second trial, which is notable because in the same trial, David calls Min pathetic before his magical girl transformation, only to reveal that he's following Xander's ideals a while later. And while Teruko and David may not be recap foils, they sure are foils in general, so the foiling Xanvid and Terumin duos are formed. Cool!

As a minor point also connected to relationships, I could see the angle that Xander's friendship with David might parallel Min's thoughts on Mai. This one's iffier because anything about Mai is iffy, but I think it's worth mentioning.

The starting point of the Xanvid thing is the fact that they both used to idolize each other, but eventually decide that they should just be friends like any other friends. Cue the whole "foxes and children" quote from The Little Prince that shows up in LGI in the "I hate the things I love..." scene- I don't know how many people can follow what I just said, but I hope the main idea got across, at least.

Xander [1-5]: Enough with these idols or role models, okay? Let's just be friends.

In the same way, everyone loves Mai, but Min's Mai quote is:

Min: An average girl with nothing special at all about her.

Which can kinda be said about Min too, but the whole point of the end of the Bonus Episode is how Min is special to Mai.

Think of David as Mai and Xander as Min. David and Mai are idolized by everyone who knows them (pre 2-11 anyways), but Xander and Min see them as regular people (post 1-5 for Xander), while Xander and Min aren't idolized (by most of the cast at least) but are special to David and Mai respectively. I don't really know if it works perfectly, but it's close enough for me to mention.

You can even try to fit in some kind of point about the theme of cooperation vs competition, though I'll admit it's a bit of a stretch.

Competition is greatly important for Min's character, but she doesn't often go out of her way to help others. She helps when asked, sure, as she does when Surely-Not-Mai asks her to help her study in BE1, or when Eden asks for help baking and the subsequent clean-up. However, there's several scenes where she avoids conflict by reading that anatomy textbook of hers, such as in her introduction and when Arei's yelling at the Baking Squad.

Meanwhile, Xander doesn't really compete on anything with anyone aside the arm wrestling contest (which isn't much of a competition anyways), but he constantly tries to butt into other people's issues. It happens in Min's introduction, in his chat with Nico in 1-5, right before stabbing Teruko, you get the idea. So, he constantly tries to cooperate even without the consent of the person they're trying to cooperate with. Again, a stretch, but kinda works.

All of these foils culminate in Xander's death and Min's murder. Xander, like always, is proactive and acts even with incomplete information:

Xander [1-5]: Then, why did I do this? I don't even know... Why? Just why did you ask me to kill Teruko?

Trying his best to cooperate with an unknown ally to, presumably, hinder the mastermind's plans; fighting against the killing game like he fights against any other system.

But then Min barges in. She was just trying to fix the mistakes of the past, aka cleaning up the remnants of the baking thing. But just like her being randomly sponsored by XF-Ture Tech was in some ways both a blessing and a curse, she once again finds herself in a situation where, depending on how you look at it, she's either in the right place at the right time (to save Teruko) or at the wrong place at the wrong time (because she'll end up dying from this).

Xander attacks, and there's a bit of brain vs brawn thing that happens. I hadn't mentioned that theme before because Xander is intelligent and Min is arguably not the smartest in the cast, but it's true that Xander's physical prowess and Min's intelligence are some of their most notable strengths. This is brought to the forefront when Xander tries to kill Min by overpowering her only for her to outsmart him with the light switch trick.

However, again similarly to how she was pushed into a corner by the XF-Ture Tech contract, Min now finds herself in a position where she must compete with others for her own survival. And not just any form of competition, but a class trial. Once again, Min has to compete under the rules established by an institution, as she did in the UCES. She ultimately gets executed, but kept trying to survive until the very end, fighting for her life the same way she'd been fighting for her future her entire childhood; by trying to give the right answers in a test.

Look, there's probably more foils (because each time I look at these two I find more of them), but I need to stop at some point. These are characters who foil even in their fucking custom weapons for God's sake. Xander's "gun" looks extremely dangerous, when in reality it's nothing but a piece of plastic; and Min's pen looks totally safe, while actually hiding a knife. If I keep looking, I'll keep finding, and I have to talk about 7 other foiling pairs, so I'll keep it at that for this post :v

2) Teruko & Charles

There's plenty to talk about with these two as well! The main point of foiling is their respective character arcs so far.

Charles started out as a prickly and judgemental guy, pushing the others away as he felt superior due to his talent. However, after the events of the first trial, he started opening up a bit more, and hanging out with the others, mainly Whit.

Teruko, for her part, started out friendlier. She made a quick connection with Xander, and we saw her socializing with the elevator scene with Ace and Levi, and the baking squad scene. However, she went the other way after the first trial, pushing the others away to avoid getting attached and trusting no one. She's swinging back to trusting now, but the point stands.

Basically, Teruko and Charles went in opposite character arcs in the first two chapters. In that sense, Charles exists as an early warning to Teruko about the dangers of pushing others away, as the only reason Charles managed to get through the first trial is because Whit trusted him and his hemophobia. So, trust, relying on others, important themes their stories share.

And it's not just the in-killing game arcs, as their backstories also vaguely foil. Charles had a pretty privileged upbringing, while Teruko obviously had a lot more issues with her luck and all. Funnily enough, this includes them having scars they don't properly remember getting. Charles believes the dog bite wound on his arm is a birthmark, while Teruko doesn't know where the scar on her back came from.

Which is what gets us to the theme of memory we got going on. Both of them have memory issues, albeit different ones: Charles has childhood amnesia, Teruko has prosopagnosia. They even both have a brother of indeterminate fate, what with us not really knowing what happened to either "Kyo" or Elliot. Well we know Elliot's dead at least but you get the idea.

Speaking of the Elliot situation, one can tie this pair to a theme I can best define as "challenged preconceptions." Basically the idea that there's preconceptions these two carried into the killing game which are challenged by the events within it. That can technically be said about a lot of characters, sure, but Charles and Teruko have a fair amount of very specific notions which are only begin doubting in the killing game.

For Charles, this would be the existence of Elliot; that's the point I was trying to make with that segue back there. Charles thought he was an only child, but turns out he had a brother at some point.

Charles [2-7]: From birth all the way to the present, there are probably many things that you had taken for granted to be true. Things you never thought to question before, like those frivolous lies about "Santa Claus" or the "Tooth Fairy." Or perhaps less frivolous lies, like the idea that your parents know what's best for you. Once you're given some hitherto unknown information, you may begin piecing together a bigger picture of your past. Things you had accepted as truth your whole life begin to reveal themselves as lies. And once all the pieces are in place, you realize you were blind for never seeing the whole story before.

It's what Charles' numeral in LGI references: "if you doubt, brittle things are broken."

For Teruko, there's a few preconceptions that get challenged over the course of the killing game, but probably the most notable one is the idea that she's doomed to live a horrible life due to her luck.

Teruko [2-16]: I have always said that my misfortune, my personality, the choices I make, everything was all a product of a bad luck that I can't control. That I grew up in such horrible circumstances, so I was destined to grow up to be a terrible person. That everyone else abandoned me, so it's not my fault that I'm alone. I want to say that it's fate's fault, and that I had no choice in the matter. But, even so... Even so... Everyone. Xander, Min, Arei, Ace. Maybe even Levi. Is it my fault that they died? [...] Whether it was the fault of fate, or my fault... I already knew the answer. I had known what the answer was since a long, long time ago.

I think you can kinda see the point.

Their aptitude in class trials can also be mentioned. Although Charles was sorta out of it during the first one, he was definitely pretty good in the second one. And Teruko is far and away the most influential character in trial discussion overall. The fact they're equally matched intellectually speaking helps them play off each other pretty nicely.

Like with Xander and Min, there's probably more to talk about, but that's enough for me in this case.

3) Eden & Arei

The girlies! Arei's playground breakdown very neatly captures a lot of the themes these two foil on. Mainly, the theme of kindness and being a "good person." Arei used to try and be kind, but she was hurt because of it and thus decided to fight back against her sisters through becoming mean. Eden, meanwhile, remains kind and compassionate even through the despair of the killing game. This also plays into the idea of strength; while Arei is physically stronger and more forceful when it comes to getting what she wants, Eden is stronger in her resilience, her ability to remain Silly despite the horrors. Both have their merits, as we see for example when Arei defends Eden from Arturo and when Eden manages to move Teruko in the 2-3 kitchen scene, respectively.

Meanwhile, when we speak of being a "good person", Arei's breakdown of what that means in 2-13 is really all we need to talk about. Eden's seemingly unending patience and kindness is not what's truly needed to be a "good person", as even she must have made mistakes and hurt people in the past (cue fork CG). Rather, being a "good person" just means trying to change for the better whenever you mess up, represented by Arei. Not to say Eden's not a good person; she is, but you don't need to be like her to be "good"- you get the point.

In the same ballpark, we have the theme of friendship, what it means to be friends. In fact, Arei's little 2-10 reconciliation speech connects both this theme and the last.

Arei [2-10]: Being a good person means doing nice things. So if there's anything you need from me... Whether it's defending you from scary jerks like Arturo or baking some stupid fucking cake... I'll do it. I promise. I'll do anything for you. Okay? Eden: I... Arei: Because... because... Because that's what friends do.

Arei believes friendship to be all about doing things for the other person, protecting each other. This is pretty central to her character, seeing as "Because that's what friends do" is her secret quote. Eden brings up the same thing when acused of murder.

Eden [2-14]: I just wanted to help Arei.... I didn't kill her... Teruko: You know I can't just take your words at face value, Eden. Eden: Please, Teruko... You're my friend, aren't you? Friends help each other.... So please, help me...

So. That.

One could also connect Eden's theming around new beginnings (birthday right before New Year's, favorite color is daffodil yellow and daffodils represent new beginnings, her name references the Garden of Eden which comes from a story about the beginning of the world) to Arei's redemption arc, as Arei gets a "new beginning" in the kindness she once showed. This even ties into Arei's death thematically, as Arei not only dies trying to be a good friend to Eden (tying into the theme of friendship), but she specifically dies in the playground, a place connected to childhood. So we once again get "new beginnings" by connecting her place of death to her origin point and the time when she was kind, if you get the idea.

Again, probably more here, and for this one in particular I'm not even sure I really scratched the surface, but I'll call this good enough for now.

4) Nico & Ace

So these two have a ridiculous amount of beef and that's not really new. Even their very talents have foils; both work with animals, but Nico loves all animals, while Ace hates them, especially horses. 

Ace [1-5]: Animals are fucking lame, anyways. Seriously, they suck hard. If someone told me their cat was acting up or something, I’d give it a good punt.

But the main point of contrast is the theme of agency and taking control of their situation.

Ace’s thoughts on this are expressed quite clearly in his secret quote, “I don’t know what to do with myself anymore.” He feels he lacks control over his talent (forced into it despite being deathly afraid of horses), over his feelings (obvious), over his relationships with the cast, etc. And so he tries to feel in control by bullying Nico, especially when he gets their secret so he can try to blackmail them. Not that Ace doesn’t bother Nico before that, but it does get worse in CH2. He repeatedly does self-destructive things just so he can feel in control of something, be it killing Arei because he feels everyone hates him and he has no way of fixing that before he dies, or trying to find reasons to get mad at Levi so he can try to control his feelings towards him when they become inconvenient for the whole murder thing.

Nico, for their side, keeps having their agency undermined by people around them. They get pushed by both David and Ace into revealing their secret before they were ready, Hu keeps defending them even after they ask her not to, they keep getting spoken over during the trial, etc. You can even extend that to stuff like feeling like they have to present as a man at the start of the series because the people from their backstory don’t respect their identity, or more minor events in the killing game like Ace reproaching them for just… wandering around.

Nico [1-8]: The motive was on my mind. So I was nervous. I tend to pace around when I’m nervous. That’s not a problem, right?  Ace: Seriously? You were ‘wandering around’ all alone? You’re definitely the killer!

Basically, Nico struggles to assert themselves a lot of the time, which means they end up going from 0 to 100 pretty fast on the whole “murder Ace” plan. 

That’s how we get to the theme of victims/perpetrators, or rather, how sometimes things are more complicated than that dichotomy. The theme is explored throughout their relationship, with Nico originally being a victim of Ace's bullying, then Ace being a victim of Nico's attempted murder, then Ace being a perpetrator of actual murder, you get the idea. Pretty straightforward there. 

Going further, this also connects to the theme of forgiveness and apologizing, which comes up a few times in the trial. Nico doesn’t apologize to Ace after explaining their plan because they still hate him and know Ace isn’t going to forgive them, so they see no point in doing it. This parallels how Ace doesn’t expect anyone to forgive him for killing Arei, though with Nico, the question of forgiveness is currently open-ended, as there’s several characters who either have shown a willingness to ignore their crimes (Hu) or don’t know what to think of them (Rose). Basically, Nico has a chance to move past their mistake, which Ace isn’t getting.

And as usual, Ace’s death is the culmination of the themes his character embodies. He kills Arei, who is connected to him via the theme of bullying. He does it out of fear of death, because he feels he doesn't have enough control over his life to avoid getting killed by the enemies he made by insulting them all. Arei was on the path of forgiveness with Eden, which Ace cut short. Ace replicates what Nico did to him because Ace’s murder is the conclusion to everything that’s happened to him in the killing game, with everyone hating him and all that. You get the point. Hopefully.

For a relatively smaller theme, we can bring up dissatisfaction with their body. Nico is non-binary, meaning they’re presumably not very happy with the sex they were born with. Meanwhile, Ace has an eating disorder, not to mention that he always wears gloves for some reason (hiding his hands), and he wears heels to be taller because he’s shorter than he’d like, even though he’s also tall for a jockey. Can’t win, this guy. 

Again, probably more to talk about, but I’d like to get this post out at some point this year :v

5) Hu & Veronika

You mention in this ask that, since the first two recap foil pairs were important for CH1 and the third and fourth were important for CH2, it's possible that Hu-Vero and Rose-J could be important for CH3. That's certainly an interesting observation! We could also extend that to CH4, I guess, but that's a bit too far for me to talk about... so I won't! I will talk about CH3, though.

I'll get to Rose-J in their section, but I could definitely believe that Hu-Vero could be important for CH3. There's a fair bit of setup for both of them going through some kind of arc in the chapter, which you kinda mentioned in the ask (Hu has to deal with the fallout of the Nico situation, while Vero's reactions to Levi's near death and Ace's execution imply she's getting worse), and there's already a narrative connection between them through their pact about the secrets in the second trial. Not to mention that Vero's always given people CH3 death vibes, which I get even if I'm hesitant to say that myself.

But that's just speculation. What about the foils we already have? Well, the main point of contrast is their reaction to conflict, especially when it comes to a specific person they're particularly interested in. Hu always tries to mediate conflict and defend the people she considers good, mostly seen in her white knighting of Nico all throughout CH2. Veronika's the opposite. She enjoys watching conflict, stirring the pot with her psychoanalysis, and particularly enjoys whenever Arturo does some bullshit. Basically, Hu goes "I can fix them" while Vero goes "I can make him worse." Classic dichotomy there.

Then there's the matter of change, metamorphosis even. Hu’s character is designed around it, with her butterfly hairpin and the fact her name means “still lake”, as water is often connected to rebirth. And we know she has changed, from the hopeless child who attempted suicide three times into someone who seems quite attached to her life, if her secret quote is anything to go by.

Hu [Profile Source Code]: I want to pay for what I’ve done. But even then, I still want to live.

Much in the same way, we know Veronika in present is not the same person she used to be years ago. She mentions having been quite outdoors-y back in the day, some of that bleeding into her excitement about the playground, and of course her motive secret is that she used to self-harm, but no longer does.

And yes, the theme of self-harm/suicide is another one where these two foil, which has even come up with their motive secret pact in CH2. We don’t have many details on that yet, though.

That said, the reasons for why they harmed themselves seem to be quite different, which is noteworthy. Although we don’t know what exactly led Hu to attempt suicide, we do know that nowadays she desperately wants to be relied on so she feels useful, meaning it’s very likely her suicidal tendencies came from a feeling that her life had no meaning, or something equally depressing. Meanwhile, provided her secret is to be believed, Veronika just hurt herself when she was bored. Definitely very different reasons for self-harm there.

Looking over your original post on this (have I mentioned I’ve been cross-checking my own thoughts with your own? ‘Cuz I’m doing that), you also bring up maturity, which is indeed an aspect in which they foil. Hu’s character profile states she acts motherly, and the highlighted word in her subtitle quote (“Can you please try and act with a little more maturity?”) is, in fact, maturity. Meanwhile, Vero has childish tendencies, most evidently seen in the scene where the playground gets introduced.

There’s definitely a lot of things about these characters which we currently don’t know about, so I’m sure this section could get significantly larger in the future. But for now, this feels decent enough for me.

6) Rose & J

According to the extension of the original theory stated in this ask, J-Rose might be an important pair for CH3. And I can definitely see that! Rose's mental state has deteriorated a lot, so CH3 is primed to be a turning point for her character. Your point about Arturo being important at the start due to Levi's condition, and that possibly leading to attention being drawn to J, is also very reasonable. Not to mention that, as you seem to be aware of given what you said in the ask, DRDT's motives have so far aligned pretty well with the THH motives, with the first one being videos of their family and the second being secrets. This is important because, if that pattern continues, the third motive might be related to money. And one of the themes in which these two foil is wealth and poverty, which we'll get to in a moment, so it's entirely possible this pair could be quite relevant as a result of that. Not a bad idea in the slightest.

In any case, this is another set that mainly foils through backstory, at least for now. Rose was born into poverty, J was born into wealth. Rose tried to do everything she could for her family, J tries to distance herself from her mother as much as she can. Some parallels can be drawn between the influence the Spurling Foundation has on Rose’s life and the things Mariabella tries to force J to do. I can’t recall if this actually got mentioned in the series itself yet, but based on the childhood drawings post, we can tell J was probably forced to wear dresses despite disliking “girly” things per her profile, and from there infer that she was likely forced into doing a lot of things she didn't want to do.

These backstories can additionally connect to the ever prevalent theme of fate. Rose has accepted her fate, in a sense, believing that she’ll never escape her contract with the Spurling Foundation (see: her secret quote, “In the end, the only thing I can do is watch my wretched life go on”). On the other hand, J constantly rejects her fate by going against her birthright and hiding that she’s a Rosales (see: her secret quote, “Please don’t call me your daughter ever again”).

This is literally baked into their designs btw. Rose’s apron is stained all over, as if to signal she’s stained by the mistakes of her past, while J wears a hoodie as if to hide her identity as much as possible. Notably, J’s shirt actually has a paint splatter design, so she literally is hiding the stains (which in her case would be her last name) that Rose doesn’t bother covering up. 

(Btw while I was looking at their designs for this I noticed J’s hoodie has two zippers, which threw me off a lot lmao. Apparently those are a real thing, but it still caught me off guard and I wanted to mention it lol)

On the topic of design, why do they wear the same shoes?

(Rose's on the left, J's on the right)

Like, Rose’s are a bit less saturated and maybe a bit more green than blue, but that’s the only difference I can see. I don’t think there’s any other pair of pairs of shoes that look this similar in the cast. Whit and Arei’s are similar to these, but they have a few different details. I don’t even think this is a foil thing I think Rose and J just have very similar taste in shoes. I find this amusing. 

Anyways. Their talents are artistic.

…Yep, that’s the parallel! Admittedly, it does come up a bit, with J saying the decor looks new during the prologue, and Rose saying she could figure out a few things about the building if she could analyze the paint on the wall. They be detective-ing and stuff.

Arguably, the theme of betrayal can also be brought up, though it’s very minor. Rose got betrayed by Nico, who used her turpentine for their attempt on Ace. And something like that kinda happened to J around the same time, as she dragged Teruko into a dressing room to avoid Arturo and got a knife to her throat for the troubles. It barely counts, but given Teruko is one of the only people J seemed to genuinely like before that point, I’d say the situations are similar enough to mention, if nothing else. 

Leaving it off there!

7) Arturo & Levi

Let’s get the obvious one out of the way. Their talents are aesthetic related, be it related to people’s physical appearance or the clothes they wear. These talents connect to some of the other themes of their characters, such as Arturo’s obsession with beauty and Levi “styling himself” as a good person by doing things good people do, if that makes sense.

Then there’s the other big one; their family situation. Arturo’s home life was likely pretty bad, which we can infer from how desperate he seemed to get the hell outta dodge; and his sister committed suicide because Arturo left. Levi also left his family behind, although in his case he says everyone was a “bad influence” on everyone. Plus, he directly killed his father for one reason or another. We did get to see how Arturo felt about Levi’s nonchalance about the death of his father in the second trial, and that furthers their foiling. 

Arturo [2-13]: How could you simply *forget* that you murdered your own family member?

Yeah that.

Going back to the talents, there’s some contrast between how they got them. Arturo studied from a very young age and for years to become a Plastic Surgeon just as he entered adulthood, while Levi admits to being relatively new to fashion. They both kinda use their talents to escape their past in some way (it was part of Arturo’s plan to get the hell away from his home and Hope’s Peak is the reason Levi was never convicted for his murders), just that one had a little more planning behind it. 

Then there’s the matter of protection. Arturo repeatedly resents the idea that because he has some medical training, he has to be the cast’s doctor every time someone gets injured, and panics when he’s asked to do something as serious as saving Levi’s life.

Arturo [2-16]: I–! I’m not that kind of surgeon! I’ve told you, over and over, I have no experience with saving lives!

Levi, conversely, actively wishes to protect the others, seen for example when he attacked MonoTV in the Prologue and when he jumped in front of Teruko right before she got shot at. It’s even clarified in the subtitle quote of his profile (“I will do my utmost best to make sure that you all are safe”). Levi likes to protect others so they see him as a “good person”, which segues nicely into a more vague theme of categorizing important people in some way. Levi wishes to be seen as a good person and thus is quite interested in those he considers good (eg Eden), while Arturo is only interested in talking to beautiful people. It’s very vague and I don’t have much to say about it, especially since we don’t know exactly where Arturo’s obsession with beauty comes from, but it’s there.

Speaking of that, another point of comparison is the way both of them seek the approval of one specific person in the cast. For Arturo, it’s J because of her mother. For Levi, it’s Ace because of what happened in the first trial. They do it in quite different ways, but it is a thing that happens, and the differences help highlight the main narrative points these plot points bring to the table.

I’m calling that good enough!

8) Whit & David

We sure left a pretty interesting one for last. This is probably one of the ones I’m the least clear on, mostly because both Whit and David are sorta unclear characters. However, there are still a few interesting things I can bring up.

Let’s start with the theme of idolization of the dead, because it’s quite literally what Whit’s secret quote references.

Whit [Profile Source Code]: We tend to idolize the dead. 

Whit idolizes his mother, and thus tries to be like her in any way he can. He dyes his hair blond, he completely ignores the fact she’s dead, you know the drill. Meanwhile, David idolizes Xander. Take a pick from any of his 2-12 lines or any of the Xander related LGI bullshit to see what I mean by that. 

Though, speaking of family members, Diana Chiem. Given we have no idea what the deal with her is yet, I won’t speak too much on it. But if you’ve watched my Vivisection of the David MV, you might know that there’s a theory brought up there that Diana may have died during Hope’s Peak time and that David’s started saying she never existed when that happened. The link sends you to that section of the video. It’s kinda insane, but there’s some basis for it, and it would create a pretty clear connection between Diana and Elizabeth (Whit’s mom) so I’m bringing it up. 

Then there’s the theme of hiding/avoiding sad topics and the like. David is obviously not as happy with his life as he presents himself as, at least for most of the story, while Whit has a history of horrendously avoidant behavior when it comes to anything that’s even remotely negative.

David does occasionally talk about heavier topics, but always behind some kind of persona. Either as the inspirational speaker who takes on a leadership role in CH2 (see: revealing his family history of depression (which I think is true, even if he probably never thought that was actually his secret), comforting Arei in the playground) or as the cartoonishly evil person he pretends to be immediately after his magical girl transformation (see: “Arei was a weather spell” line). He’s seemingly a bit more candid when it comes to Xander in 2-12 for a bit, but then he mostly reverts back to just being an asshole most of the time, other than a few outbursts of genuine emotion (funnily enough, one of them being David shouting at Whit to take things seriously). Meanwhile, Whit (in my opinion) doesn’t seem to have a persona, per say; he’s just kind of an unserious person who repeatedly uses humor and other tactics to distract from the Horrors. He’s a deeply strange person, but that’s kinda just who he is.

Then there’s- say it with me everyone- the theme of fate. David believes people can’t change, that they’re fated to remain the same no matter what happens during their life. He’s made that stance relatively clear. Whit, for his part, has a much more optimistic view on humanity and the like, as he tells Teruko.

Whit [2-3]: Charles… No, everyone here… we might act callously, but we’re all only human. We're all real people with our strengths and weaknesses.  You included, Teruko. Just like Charles, even if you’re acting cold, there’s still a part of you that’s good–

(And yes, “we’re all only human” can be contrasted with the whole “David doesn’t really feel human” thing from LGI and Tally 5)

Thus, his connection to fate is actually something that hasn’t been talked about in the main series yet, but rather comes from his character profile. All it takes is noticing the repeated references to luck and thing that are “guaranteed” (aka fated) to happen, and you can kinda piece it together from there. 

Whit [Profile]: It’s said that if you get the Ultimate Matchmaker to find you a romantic partner, you’re guaranteed to have a happy and stable relationship for life. Unfortunately for Whit Young, he seems to lack all luck when it comes to finding a relationship himself.

And since that profile talks about his talent, I'll use it as a segue to look at similarities between Matchmaker and Inspirational Speaker. Both are talents based around influencing and advising people on how to achieve happiness, either in their love life or their… life life. Thus, both require some level of understanding on how people think and act, which manifests in Whit’s self-proclaimed intuitive nature and David’s confidence in his beliefs when it comes to people not changing and all that. 

And… yeah I’m gonna say I’m okay with that for now.

-

Wow, that was quite a bit, now wasn’t it! And it still feels like I could find more if I thought about it long enough, but I hope this was enough for you. Thanks for the ask! The DRDT cast is really fun to talk about, though, so the excuse to do so is always welcome :D

[scoobydoodean]

also brett matthews was Crazy for not only implying assault can turn you gay but then writing dean hurting his stepson after being turned into a vampire (gay) like. brett matthews your homophobia is unmatched

like yeah the fans who insist the monsters represent gay people have a point but it's literally this singular episode and it's done in a way that is so deeply homophobic it's crazy

sorry if that last ask was too much but it drives me insane whenever people ignore the insane amount of homophobia in twi-hard.

Okay so here's the thing. I'm not a particular fan of the tone of Brett Matthews episodes. I don't mind exploring non-consensual themes but I think he has a very odd fixation on them. At least in "Live Free Or Twi-Hard", this serves a purpose to the larger storyline surrounding soulless Sam and what he's willing to do, as well as the alpha monsters and how the alpha vampire is building an army. It even gives us some insight into Samuel's moral framework and his perception of Sam and Dean. It also unburies memories of some of Dean’s past experiences being used as bait by his family (or using sex to get them information). In "Caged Heat", Matthews repeated references to non-consensual sexual acts just feel like edgy set dressing for the most part.

The thing is that I also don't think Brett Matthews means to imply anywhere in "Live Free Or Twi-Hard" that being assaulted makes you gay or that Dean's gayness then harms Ben/the family. I think I understand how one can build that reading out of the episode, but I do not ultimately accept that reading. I also don't think monstrosity or vampirism is inherently queer. I do not accept that premise. Monstrosity in general or vampirism in particular certainly can represent queerness, and vampirism has been used as a metaphor for queerness in media many times, but vampirism doesn't inherently represent queerness. If it did, then almost every piece of media about vampires ever made would arguably be sowing the same uncomfortable homophobic narratives because vampirism has been connected with sexual assault from Dracula onward, and vampires in stories are almost always people who were turned against their will at some point in their life or have turned others.

I do not think any kind of monster in Supernatural has to and always represents queerness anymore than I think Sam having powers/feeling lonely makes his storyline inherently queer (which I don't). I understand that there are at least a couple of metas connecting Dean's experience in this episode to queerness not just because it involves vampires but because it also leads to Lisa and Dean's breakup and because Boris also clearly has a sexual interest in Dean, but while I respect these interpretations (as well as the choice to read vampirism as a metaphor for queerness in the episode) I don't personally find these metas that alluring (at least what I have seen of them). This has partly to do with (1) me having a VERY different take on Dean and Lisa than most of spnblr (I don’t dismiss their relationship as “comphet” for example) and (2) having a different take on Dean's relationship to his sexuality up to this point in the series than a lot of people, but it also has to do with (3) me disliking how this reading of 6.05 leads to uncomfortable linkages between queerness and rape that do not spark joy for me and that I do not think deserve to be treated as a forgone conclusion.

Some of the things I have read before from fans regarding this episode feel a little too close to saying "Dean was attacked by a bisexual man who wanted to fuck him and that means Dean is queer" which I do not find logical and which I think aligns with some pretty harmful ideologies, and if fans choose to believe that Matthews intentionally connects the story with those ideologies (either because he himself believes them or thinks Dean does) that's their prerogative, but I don't think it means when other fans reject that reading or fail to absorb it, that they're ignoring some kind of interpretive forgone conclusion about the "meaning" of the episode or what Dean being turned must represent. This is all media analysis. It is ultimately subjective. There are different takes and perspectives here. I don't think there's an inherently right and correct reading and I do not believe this is the only reading of the episode, and while I'm happy to see people play in the sandbox writing whatever metas they'd like about it, and I think one can build up a lot of support as desired, and there's certainly commentary one can make about this episode being homophobic/biphobic regardless, I don't personally think what Brett Matthews wanted me to get out of this is that being assaulted makes you gay and ruins families.

I do think this episode has a lot to say about Dean's relationship to his body and how it has been objectified and used because he has been treated as a weapon or a tool for almost his entire life, and how Dean has internalized that. I do think this episode has a lot to say about internalizing blame as a victim of a variety of non-consensual experiences—the fear that the things that have been done to you throughout your life have "sullied" you and made you a danger who needs to be put down/who will harm the people you love. This episode has a lot to say about Dean's overactive sense of responsibility and guilt, his tendency to internalize blame for things he can't control, and his failure to see that he was a victim in many MANY situations where he was absolutely victimized. From my perspective, vampirism in this episode serves as a metaphor for all of Dean's trauma (from hell, from being raised as a hunter and never having any other choices, from all the people he's lost, from a variety of non-consensual experiences, etc) and how he internalizes the effects of that trauma on himself psychologically as something that has turned him into a monster who cannot grasp happiness or safety and instead will ruin everyone else's if he tries. It is devastatingly tragic and painful to watch. This is also why I happen to be very uncomfortable with a lot of deanlisa takes that criticize Lisa for (in usually nicer words but nontheless) allowing a filthy animal like Dean into her home and how she should have known he was disgusting damaged goods.

[phantasmatoucan]

Character ask game for mod Owl: I was gonna ask about Smitten, but I'm sure someone else will do that-

So how about instead... tell me about Skeptic. That fluffy bird-

THE FLUFFIEST GUY EVER

[Send Me a Character and I'll List Ask Game]

FAVORITE THING ABOUT THEM

I ABSOLUTELY ADORE HOW INTELLEGENT HE CAN BE, HOW HE CAN COME UP WITH A PRACTICAL PLAN THAT CAN HELP TLQ OUT AND MAKE IT WORK [including also whatever other voice was already there into his plan because im sure he knows he can't do this alone] BUT I ALSO LOOOOVE HOW DUMB HE CAN BE AS WELL AND NOT BECAUSE HES AN IDIOT BUT BECAUSE OF HIS DISTRUST OF OTHERS AND GETTING TOO MUCH IN HIS OWN HEAD THAT HE STARTS MISSING THE POINT OF WHAT THEYRE EVEN DOING, HE NEEDS ANSWERS NO MATTER THE COST, I LIKE TO THINK IF HE HAD SOMETHING LIKE RPG STATS HE WOULD HAVE THEM LIKE 20 INTELECT AND -2 WISDOM, HE HAS A HARD TIME JUDGING THE CHARACTER [in this case the princess] UNLESS HE CAN GUESS WHAT SHES TRYING TO DO, HE DOES CARE ABOUT THE PRINCESS, AFTER ALL HE CAME TO BE BY TRYING TO FREE HER BUT FOR HIM TRYING TO DECIPHER EVERYTHING THATS HAPPENING IN A LOGICAL MANNER COMES FIRST AND FOREMOST, ALSO I LOVE HOW HE CAN ADAPT AS WELL IF PUSHED ENOUGH BY OTHER VOICES, LIKE WHEN PARANOID TOLD HIM ABOUT THE SHACKLES BEING TO RUSTY AND HE GIVES IN INTO PARAS LOGIC, THE SAME WITH HERO IN THE DEN, HE CAN BELIEVE IN THIS HONESTLY ILLOGICAL THINGS BUT HE NEEDS A REASON TO BELIEVE, HE CAN'T JUMP INTO CONCLUSIONS WITHOUT QUESTIONING THEM ITS NOT IN HIS NATURE

LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT THEM

ERM.... ERM... ERM.............................. I DONT KNOW... I THINK MAYBE THE FACT THAT THE LINE WHERE HE SUGGEST GETTING THE HEAD OF THE PRISIONER AND BRINGING IT WITH THEM WAS CUT OUT AFTER PRISTINE CUT... BUT THATS NOT HIS FAULT HE WAS LOBOTOMIZED A BIT 💖

FAVORITE LINE

"Looks like we've seen through your lies at last, Mr. The Narrator. If that even is your real name." HES SO STUPID

BROtp

SMITTEN AND SKEPTIC ARE THE BROS OF BROS FOR ME, GREY BROTHERS MY BELOVED, SMITTEN HELPS OUT SKEPTIC TO UNDERSTAND OTHERS A BIT MORE AND DISCERNING HIS EMOTIONS A BIT BETTER, ALSO HELPING HIM OUT ON NOT GETTING FRUSTATED AS EASILY IF THINGS DONT GO HIS WAY AND SKEPTIC HELPS OUT SMITTEN TO THINK MORE ABOUT HIMSELF AND DOING THINGS FOR HIMSELF, NOT REVOLVING HIS LIFE AROUND THE PRINCESSES SO MUCH, AND THEN SMITTEN INVITES SKEPTIC TO A TEA PARTY AND THEY HAVE A GOOD TIME JUST HANGING OUT

OTP

IVE BEEN INFECTED WITH THE SKEPTUNIST AGENDA AND LET ME TELL U I THINK THEYRE... VERY CUTE TOGETHER ACTUALLY, SKEPTIC TRYING TO UNDERSTAND OPPORTUNIST MOTIVES WHILE OPPORTUNIST TRIES TO GET ON SKEPTICS GOOD SIDE AFTER ALL HAVING A SMARTY PANTS ON HIS SIDE WILL ALWAYS BE GOOD FOR ANY PLAN HE CAN COME UP WITH BUT SLOWLY THEY REALIZE THAT DAMN.... I KINDA ENJOY THE COMPANY OF THIS PERSON THE MORE I TRY TO GET CLOSER TO THEM, MAYBE THEY CAN EVEN BECOME PARTNERS IN CRIME....

NOtp

I ACTUALLY HAVENT SEEN THAT MANY SKEPTIC SHIPS SO I WOULDNT EVEN KNOW IF I HAD ONE LMAO

RANDOM HEADCANON

I THINK HE HAS ANGER ISSUES AS HES PRONE TO GET FRUSTRATED VERY EASILY, HE JUST HAS A CALMER WAY OF EXPRESSING IT BY TRYING TO LOGIC HIS WAY OUT OF IT BUT ITS HARDER WHEN HE ONLY FINDS DEAD ENDS, ALSO A HEADCANON FOR MY VERSION OF SKEPTIC IS THAT HE CAN FLY AT ALL BECAUSE OF THE POSITION OF HIS WINGS AND THAT HE NEEDS GLASSES TO ACTUALLY READ lol

UNPOPULAR OPINION

HAVENT LOOKED AT THE FANDOM LONG ENOUGH TO THINK OF THIS ONE, I HAVE NOT SEEN MANY PEOPLE TALKING BADLY ABOUT SKEP OR ATLEAST IN A WAY I FEEL LIKE IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE FOR ME LMAO

SONG I ASSOCIATE WITH THEM

GOLDEN NUMBER BY IYOWA [I PUT THE SUB VERSION BUT CHECK OUT THEIR OTHER SONGS IN THEIR MAIN CHANNEL THEYRE VERY GOOD, I ASSOCIATE THIS SONG TO HIM SPECIFICALLY THE LAST PART A LOT lol]

FAVORITE PICTURE OF THEM

SINCE YOU KNOW, THE VOICES DONT REALLY HAVE LIKE SET IMAGES OR DESIGN ILL JUST PULL FROM MY ART O21L3KR12R, U GET MY FAV PIC I DREW OF HIM

[idiotsinkdaisies]

(longer post) once again over analyzing network tv shows trying to recreate the high i felt when S8x06 "Confessions" first aired - the one scene that I never liked was the Josh Glee speech, but now looking back I have thoughts about the why/who of it all:

Josh comes in and the first few lines of dialogue are him saying "right, you're with Tommy. Unless there's another boy?" and Maddie replies with "There's another woman."

reading in, this is on the nose about bucktommy as a relationship not just being between buck and tommy!! There is a third person in that relationship - and this scene frames that third person as being Abby Clark.

(Third person as a disruption/source of conflict, not in a poly way.)

Regardless of how you feel about Abby, she was Buck's first real adult relationship and made him realize what he wants within one - he learned how to "step into the circle" and meet his partners where they are at with her - it was Abby and Patrica in S1, and Eddie and Chris in S2 onward.

he never steps into the circle with Tommy because that relationship never developed emotional depth

(IMO) Buck realizes that Tommy left Abby in a way that mirrors how she leaves him - a serious partner coming to terms with the fact that they have to leave you to find themself/do what is right for them. He's both emphasizing with Abby for being left, and realizing Tommy hurt her in a way that she hurt him. Buck jumps to a logical conclusion, very much an if A=B and B=C does A=C? Could Tommy hurt him?

Abby is less a third person in bucktommy and more so haunting the narrative with great hair, a well traveled passport, and her annotated copy of eat pray love.

Still, she's talked about and discussed a few times that episode (introduced during the bucktommy date as a conflict, at dispatch, then during the breakup scene.) So explicitly - is she why they break up? no... but is it a part of it... yes (?)

Is she the third person?

Bucktommy always had a third person!! And It is not Abby Clark!!

buck bothered and bewildered was like look! he's so jealous eddie has a new friend. and then 9-1-1 goes um actually he's jealous of the new friend :) obviously :)

even tommy replies to "I wanted your attention" with "my attention?" just for buck to go "I guess so."

buck lurks in the diaz home but eddie lurks in buck's relationships... who is the real #obsessive...

They never explicitly said that eddie diaz is the reason bucktommy struggles/falls flat as a relationship.. but there were signs for those with eyes to see ("bring eddie" "really?" "and die")

Back to the Josh scene - we get into this part I like a lot, which is what is right before he goes into the Glee bit:

It was scarier, more confusing, and not half as accepting. And so sometimes we did things to protect ourselves, things that we might not be proud of, that now look less noble.

The Glee part is.. a choice.. and as someone who watched Glee and would attribute Santana as part of my lesbian awakening and being amazed that they were allowed to have LGBT characters on screen.. I should have fully emphasized with Tommy. At face value it's a scene to make Tommy more relatable/empathetic/forgivable. Unfortunately for Tommy, i think he's at best uninteresting and at worst racist/misogynistic and the scene really didn't do anything to change my opinion for better or for worse.

So then there's a choice that was made - why have Josh give a speech about repression and the struggles queer characters have to Buck in the same episode where he breaks up with the boyfriend in question?

Buck (seemingly) is not going to have any internalized homophobia plot lines, so it is a good theme to introduce! Just because Buck had an "easy" sexuality realization where his queerness is not a point of angst, that does not mean other characters are going to have a simple one.

(we do see this with Micheal in S1 specifically - but if this is truly introducing a theme - it's a little late for it to be related to him)

Is there another character on 9-1-1 that might have battle scars related to sexuality, might have seen a scary confusing world that is not accepting and done things they're not proud of... who might have married a woman and lived as a heterosexual man for years...

in summary: it feels clumsy because they're talking about a "third person" haunting the bucktommy relationship and they have the wrong third person!! they talk about repression influencing a character's choices and they have the wrong character!!

will josh's speech be referenced/re-quoted in reference to Eddie i can only wonder ...

is this intentional or am i reading too far into things?? anyways.

[essektheylyss]

I know I made a post about it but I really just need to lay on the ground and think about the description of dunamis as "the very nature of the cosmos" I have been saying this for OVER THREE YEARS

[ego-similis-testudines]

I may very well be swinging a bat at a hornet's nest, but I find it very interesting that the crowd that (rightfully) says "Read another book" to Harry Potter fans among the J.K. Rowling bullshit has a not-insignificant overlap with the crowd that has also only read one book (and that book is Whipping Girl).

[princsstwilightsparkl]

saying "if aroace people can date, then can lesbians date men?" is absolutely aphobic narrative btw!

[thedreadvampy]

unwarranted Cis Opinion but I'm getting really uncomfortable w people responding to bathroom bills by posting pictures of trans men like DO YOU WANT THEM IN WOMEN'S BATHROOMS

bc like. no they're men. they should be in men's bathrooms unless that feels unsafe. but. it really feels like it's not helpful to lean into the idea that seeing someone presenting masc or being read as a man in a women's bathroom means You're In Danger.

like I know several butch women and NB ppl who are really scared around being on T or getting top surgery bc they're not men and they don't want to be in the men's bathroom, and in that circumstance stuff like growing facial hair or reading more androgynously can be really fucking scary when people are being primed by propaganda to be on edge and hyperreactive to anyone who doesn't look like their idea of a Cis Woman.

and I'm not laying that at the feet of the people saying "hey uhhhh trans men are men and don't belong in women's bathrooms" bc it is not their fault. it's the fault of a concerted effort to make it difficult and dangerous to be trans or substantively gender nonconforming in public.

but at the same time idk I guess it just worries me cause sometimes it feels like "you fools! you are worried about this group of trans people bc you think they're the Lurking Danger of Men In Bathrooms? WRONG! the Men Making You Feel Afraid In Bathrooms are actually THESE trans people!" when in fact neither of those groups using the fucking bathroom is a problem. just piss and mind your business. people need to go where they need to go.

anyway this country is a hot fucking trash fire that somehow accelerates its descent into open fascism more every day so it's all super good and normal. so don't take this too seriously tbh cause it's somewhere near #2535654476457899009765 on the list of priorities for Queer Discourse right now when the fucking human rights commission is actively rescinding protections from trans people. Please ignore my gibberish.

[mistresscitrusslice]

Does anyone else find it weird that Jayce’s gimmick in the show (teleportation) and Jayce’s gimmick in the game (hammer-gun afaik) are not remotely related? I know he uses the Mercury Hammer in the show eventually, but doesn’t it feel like the teleportation thing is kind of a big element to ignore? Does Jayce have a teleportation power in the game that I just haven’t heard about? Arcane led me to believe that Jayce could teleport in-game and upon seeing gameplay footage, he doesn’t seem to do that. Am I wrong?

[icewindandboringhorror]

I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently

[fleshcarverfugitive]

........... wtf Nyssala? @unhingedbutpretty

"...Interesting."

ANOTHER BLACK OUT???? HUH??? HELLO??? NYSSALA INCOMING WITH THE STEEL CHAIR??? ))

[sketchy-scribs-n-doods]

to add on to the philosophy of 'you're not unattractive you're just not your type' -

sometimes, you gotta see yourself in other people first in order to comprehend your own beauty

this works both in body positive and in gender affirming ways of course. who among us has not felt better about the things that cause us gender dysphoria after seeing someone else w the same features absolutely own it?

but today i'm mostly thinking about being at the grocery store and seeing the beauty in a stranger's exposed belly as their skin folds when they reach around for something and their croptop rides up, hips turning and revealing pale stretch marks.

like. oh. yeah my belly folds like that. my hips look like that. and they're beautiful.

or when a cashier at the gas station laughs at a joke you made and when they smile it's all pink gums and little peeking teeth.

and you think wow. what a lovely smile. i smile like that.

idk. i just think that falling in love with the mundane beauty of the people around you can sometimes help remind you of your own quiet beauty.

[procrastinationaccount]

Production of American Psycho where all the instrumental tracks are just played from yt or spotify and Bateman goes on semi-scripted tangents about each product, and a few nonsensical ads for poisons industrial weapons etc are sprinkled in with increasing frequency as it goes on. Also all the songs are different because I fucking hate what they did with that show.