#like it did start as a book acct?

[macsdayoff]

rting benny n brax posts on my “booktwt”. take this app away from me

[ros3ybabe]

Daily Check-in: August 26th, 2024 🎀

first Monday of classes and it was a good day! It was super content packed so I was really tired as of like 2pm, but I managed to finish an assignment, and do some textbook reading and note taking. Didn't do as much as I wanted but I'm glad I did something. I booked a Japanese trial lesson on Italki to motivate myself to start studying Japanese again too!

🩷 What I Accomplished:

completed acct II assignment + submitted it

took notes + read (most of) chapter 1 for acct II

booked an italki lesson for japanese

requested an appointment with a study abroad advisor regarding summer study opportunities

picked up my new headphones (my old ones broke)

helped a friend who got really overwhelmed in our chem lab

drank lots of coffee without getting anxious

cooked a yummy, healthy breakfast

made a grocery list

purchased italki credits for future lessons

made a small payment towards my rent

morning skincare

morning journaling

wore a super cute outfit

💔 What Could've Gone Better

my friend didn't feel well, so no gym in the morning

drank lots of caffiene

spent more money then intended

didn't study japanese like I wanted

was super tired throughout the day

no night skincare

forgot to night time journal

💗 Stuff For Tuesday (August 27th)

study abroad appointment with advisor

study japanese minimum of 15min

attend acct II class at 9am

complete chapter 1 reading and notes for acct II + start chapter 2 (hopefully)

morning workout ✅️

look at intro to business class stuff

make new grocery list

work an ~8 hour shift

morning + night journal

morning + simple night skincare

I'm hoping Tuesday is a good, productive day for me! I love having good days so much, I'm so happy to be back to a sort of routine!

til next time lovelies 🩷

[anxiouslychill]

Cave Jivin'!

An excerpt from my Kataang/Kataango flash fic. ❤️ Also, if you've seen this on tumblr before, it's because my last acct was deleted so here we are 🙃

Summary: Aang's flirting has gotten better. Katara notices. Partly inspired by Episode 2 of Book 3: The Headband. And also the comic Aang's Epic Adventures/Love Potion #8

Aang flitted and flipped around, proudly showing off the dances he learned over 100 years ago, dances that the fire nation generations before them should have passed down. He was enjoying showing the fire nation kids how to express themselves with dance as he had learned to do, but his eyes searched for Katara. He spotted her looking downcast at her table with Sokka and Toph while they seemed to be having a great time. He saw Katara watching him earlier, smiling.  Could it be because he was dancing with On Ji?  He didn't want to assume this, but could it be possible she was...jealous? Aang blushed at the thought. He was only being friendly and showing OnJi some dance moves, but he quickly thought of what he could do to make sure Katara knew who Aang really had his eyes on. 

"Everybody freestyle!" Katara barely heard Aang over the echoing bass of the drums and sat with her chin resting on her palm, trying to look everywhere but the dance floor. She quickly realized that she didn't like seeing Aang dancing with OnJi and her staring at him in adoration, blushing. She didn't blame OnJi, because Aang was, admittedly, naturally charming.  

I have no right to be jealous…Aang is not mine. Katara could feel herself deflate, her stomach sinking, but wouldn't let it show that she was definitely jealous. Katara’s frown deepened, Aang’s approach going unnoticed until he held his hand out to her with a soft smile, a silent invite to dance. Looking up, she met his eyes and instantly smiled, her heart speeding up a bit, but quickly looked down shyly and began fiddling with her hair in the way she did when she was self-conscious or nervous.

"Oh, I-I don't know Aang, these shoes aren't the best and I don't know if I know how to-"

"Take my hand." Aang interrupted gently, his gray eyes so warm and welcoming. Katara didn't hesitate another second to take his hand. She trusted Aang fully.

"Okay." She grinned and allowed Aang to gleefully pull her to the center of the flailing fire nation students.

He whispered in her ear, "Just like water bending practice," Katara nodded eagerly, great idea! Now this she could do. 

Aang and Katara practiced nearly every day, sometimes just to relax they would push a sphere of water in a circle, so that's where they started. They crossed their wrists in a beginning stance, circling. Push, pull. Beginning stance. Circle. Push, pull. Repeat. Soon they found the rhythm of the music.

As they circled each other, more and more eyes became drawn to them and soon Katara looked around to see every pair of wide eyes on them.

"Aang, everyone is watching," she laughed nervously, looking at him to see if he noticed as well.

But Aang's eyes were not on anyone else, no one but Katara. When Aang answered, there was a new glint of self-assurance in his eyes.  His past flirting techniques got him nowhere fast, but right now in this moment, he felt more comfortable than ever to express his affection and attraction for her without actually saying the words. He wouldn't hold back this time. 

"Don't worry about them," Aang said reassuringly. Katara watched as his cutesy smile turned to a smirk. "It's just you and me right now."  

She flushed hotly for a moment, taken aback at first. She had never seen this side of Aang before…and she quickly realized Aang was flirting with her, no hesitation and no uncertainty. This stirred something in Katara, butterflies began fluttering in her stomach, and she instinctively returned his flirtatious energy, showing Aang she was on the same page. 

When they returned to the dance, Katara no longer paid attention to the eyes on them. She only watched Aang, their eyes stayed locked and in that there was a brief moment of unguarded vulnerability that connected them further.

As the music went on, filling the room with its exciting melody, Aang and Katara found themselves lost in a dance that mirrored the deep connection between them. They flowed naturally much like the water they pretended to bend.  The air between them crackled with an electric energy that neither could ignore as they whirled and spun across the dance floor smoothly. 

Aang let himself get lost in this spark that had was kindling between them there in the dimly lit cave. Most importantly, Katara seemed aware of the spark and invited it, reciprocated it even. Aang watched as the background blurred until all he could see was Katara and the way she moved so elegantly, a confident smile playing on her lips. At one point, they twirled into a move that brought their faces mere inches apart, the chemistry between them palpable. Gasps of awe echoed off of the cave walls.

Their moves had become more complex as they added flips and fancy spins, and sweat had built on both of their foreheads. Aang wasn't sure if the pounding in his chest was the drums echoing, or if it was his heart racing from the adrenaline of their connection, either way he didn’t care. 

For the end of the song, Aang took Katara’s hand and twirled her into a dip.  His heart still raced with new desire that their connection had ignited, as they stared wide eyed and grinning at each other, faces flushed and both out of breath.  Aang knew he could release her now, the dance was over, everyone was cheering, but there was a magnetism holding them there for a few moments longer. 

Thabk you SO MUCH for reading! 💖 But wait, it's not the end yet! ❤️ Please take a look at my AO3 for the rest of the story, you dont even have to be a member! What went down between Katara and Aang after they escaped the fire nation that night? Could a simple dance mean something deeper than what they intended? If not, why were they suddenly so nervous around each other? 😉

https://archiveofourown.org/users/anxiouscontent

[actuallycassidyiambusy]

You should get twitter so then you can post all the smutty stuff😈

Imma be real with you anon, I have a Twitter acct, but I have stayed away because of how fucking toxic and bitchy the people on there can be

I've gotten to the point where I really just don't give a shit and I enjoy my followers interactions on here so much that I'm reviving my twitter, but only to those who follow it for now. I'll start posting what I can and hopefully slip into a groove like I did on here. It'll mostly be my one piece stuff among other fandoms, and I plan on posting more of my original stuff on there too because my book is so close to being released.

[nikethestatue]

When did you pick up your first sjm book?

And what made you join the sjm fandom?

Actually both times, it was just an ad on my Kindle.

The first time, it was before the release of ACOWAR. I got a random ad 'get swept in a sexy fantasy romance' and I didn't know who SJM was, but i was curious, so I read ACOTAR, ACOMAF and then ACOWAR was released soon after. I read the three books, I liked them, but I thought the trilogy was over, so I was done with it.

Then in 2020, during Covid, Kindle again began dropping 'coming soon' stuff, about ACOSF. I was surprised that there were more books, and since I had nothing to do and was depressed and locked in my house, I went back and re-read the original trilogy and then ACOFAS and soon after ACOSF was released.

I didnt really have any intention of joining the fandom--i had this old Tumblr acct and i wanted to see what people were saying, because I was going through a 'I am in love with Rhys' phase. And then i started reading a ton of Nessian fics. I think generally, I was a Nessian first. But then the discourse around ACOSF really shifted, and there was a lot of IC hate and the whole Elriel vs Gwynriel thing started popping up and then people began hating on Elain and comparing her to Gwyn...and I kind of started posting a little bit. I was like no--it's definitely Elriel. The whole idea of Gwynriel gave me, and still gives me, the heebies.

And that's basically how it started. And I have thick skin, I guess, because I just never really cared about the haters and the vitriol. If anything, it used to amuse me to death.

[tomaytow]

ok so i got like a very insane idea some days ago, i was just studying and out of nowhere i'm like "hold on.. How would venti react to a scholar from the academia slaping reader right infront of him" and honestly my mind was blown, like imagine reader just wants to visit the traveler to see how he/she is doing and they end up going in the academia to get books related to machines, khaenri'ah machines specifficaly since nobody studies about them nowadays and like they get a pass from cyno and get allowed to go in, sounds great so far right? not until the reader just looks at some books searching for what she wants and a scholar comes out of nowhere starting a scene and slaping reader right there infront of venti🖐️😭, i finished my thought of this scenerio there because i'm never good at guessing how venti would react to anything honestly💔

oh hello!! you’re the one who replied to my recent post earlier JDHDJ thank the archons you sent me an ask because i can’t reply since it’ll be my main tumblr acct replying to you - this venti blog is just a side acct after all!

ANYWAY i’m answering this around 3am (edit: it’s 10pm because i fell asleep and now i’m editing at this point) so i hope i’m making enough sense but here we go

man honestly it’s so hard to know how venti will react! in my concepts or fics, there’ll be moments where i’m like huh… is this venti at all? and i’m just. so clueless. because even tho i love him sm, i feel like i don’t really know HIM that well—which is very disappointing—even tho i’ve already ate the venti crumbs hoyo had to offer me

also, i just love how a scenario strikes when you’re doing something because that’s me sometimes.

in response to your ask! here’s what i think,

venti, of course, will get very angry at that person because it’s so unnecessary. there’s no need for violence at all! like you’re just there, minding their own business, snoopin’ around the shelves for your research materials and then this person just straight up slaps you on the face??? then proceeds on making a scene??? what the???

this will be even worse if you and venti are together. it’s sweet that he joins you for your book searching in the akademiya even though we know how much he prefers noisy and fun places instead of the tedious and boring ones, but hey. he’s venti. your best boyfriend ever. everything is fun for him when he’s with you.

though, i’m sure venti won’t resort to violence. (as much as i want him to go crazy stupid, i remember that his citizens—his children—have told the traveler that barbatos is a benevolent and gentle god. he won’t harm mortals — maybe. not sure. unless it’s necessary.)

he won’t stoop so low, and if he does attack the person back, well—venti won’t be any different from the assaulter!

there are some holes to your ask, though, because first of all, what is the reason for said assaulter abruptly slapping you on the face? did windblume do something? did you do something? so i’m not sure how this will end.

but what i do know for certain is that again, venti will be very angry. at first, he’ll be stunned, and then he’ll be fuming in the inside because the audacity of this lad / lass to lay a hand on my windblume’s pretty face! and yes, he’ll be showing his real distaste and anger. it’ll be damn evident on his face.

his anger will increase tenfold if he notices that you’re mortified from the events, he’ll step closer to you and perhaps hold your hand for comfort. people are watching and people are whispering. archons, this is humiliating.

venti will probably confront the assaulter, and man, remember this: the anemo archon is downright terrifying if he isn’t smiling. there will be words exchanged in a tense, uncomfy atmosphere—venti will ask the assaulter if there’s anything wrong, and he’ll ask demand the reason for the slap. if it’s not valid, venti’s glare will send shivers down to anyone’s spine. because how can such delicate face be so ominous? if it’s valid—ugh, forget about that.

the rule is: don’t just hurt anybody, and talk it out! violence is still unacceptable to venti!

afterward, i imagine that the assaulter will be taken away by the mahamata for a questioning. then venti will take you to a secluded place and console you. it’s what you deserve!

he’ll sit you down and ask if everything’s okay. if he sees you lowkey traumatized, he’ll instantly shower you with affection and leave kisses on your red cheek. he’ll whisper that it’s all over, and that there is nothing to worry about now that the assaulter is gone.

+ also, venti will prolly have a conversation about this with the lesser lord kusanali later. but for now, his main priority is staying by your side and bring solace to your startled, anxious self.

his poor windblume, who only wants to study… venti will stay by your side for a while, surely.

[lemonhemlock]

Do you have any book recommendations?

i'm looking for book recs myself! saved a bunch on my storygraph acct if you're interested i'm sunsetcypress over there xoxo

i went a really long time just reading academic texts as i was scrambling to finish my phd so i'm really behind with reading fiction. more reason to find the previous post preposterous as i'm well acquainted with the feeling of poring ages over opaque texts and confusing methodology, trying to decipher the meaning of the damn article, only to find that not only did it not promise to do what the abstract claimed, but i couldn't even use it for my own paper 🤦‍♀️ neither could i relate to the "have you thought of not reading boring texts" mentality. LOL.

anyway i can deff recommend the book i'm currently reading, which is little friend by donna tartt. my goal for the end of this year is to squeeze the goldfinch in there as well (fingers crossed pray for me etc). i loved it so much, her writing style is so evocative and she has this very enviable ability to craft very vivid, very distinctive characters with rich inner lives. in this book in particular, the majority of the POV characters are female and it focuses on one family and the effect that the death of their son/brother/nephew still has on them years later. so we have a tween girl protagonist, her teen sister, their mother, their grandmother, their 3 aunts (all the old ladies are SO kooky), their housekeeper etc. little harriet is such a spunky adorable little girl, tough as nails and disobedient but surprisingly attentive and considerate towards her family in a way that's not soppy but really, genuinely endearing.

the narrator is omniscient so we get to hop through each perspective and inhabit their head a little while and it's done with such easy grace and artistry, just a proficient feeling for juggling when to show and when to tell. the "showing" / indirect characterisation is downright stunning and i don't want to fawn too much but miss tartt sometimes hits you with a detail that is just breathtaking - like, i struggle to describe it but i sometimes had to put the book down because it was tapping into the collective consciousness too much :)) whereas the "telling" part / exposition is done in such a way that it seems like she's imparting spicy gossip to the reader

^idk how much you'll be able to get from such a disjointed segment but harriet's mother has been living in a state of near-catatonic depression since her son died and their POC housekeeper has been the one to take care of the children and the house. there are racial politics in the book too and it's fascinating to see how much you can gleam from a character's throwaway comments or passing thoughts

i'm still easing into it as harriet is just starting to investigate the death of her brother but this world already feels so rich and organic and i honestly think i could just read about these women's mundane lives even if nothing of note happened.

i really wasn't expecting to like a book with a child protagonist so much or about this subject matter, but there you go. it's a marvel how a crafty author can engage your interest

^another little snippet: harriet had been reading about adventurers freezing to death in antarctica when their cat died and witnessing it awakened the inherited bereavement of her brother's untimely death

[twdmusicboxmystery]

New Details and Ties to Coming Spinoffs

@wdway:

This is a article from comic book that I just read and wanted to share here. A couple of new things, some things phrased that I think we could look closely at like Gimple sayinga something about, coast to coast, which made me think immediately of Daryl being called a cowboy and the frontier.

But the main thing that when I saw it I thought, "Oh My Gosh, I've got to show the guys this." Apparently Danai posted on her IG a picture of Rick with the question, "Have you seen this man?"

Which is a total call back to between s4 &5 when TWD did a promotional campaign putting Beth's picture on a milk cartons saying, "if found return to Daryl Dixon." Try to convince me that this is not a call back to the milk carton promotion. Nope, not having it, definitely a tie between the two.

@galadrieljones:

Super interesting. They also are sure to mention that Gimple was the showrunner for seasons 4-8. They also me that the Richonne spin-off is filming in Atlanta. Did we know that?

I’m very excited about this spin-off mainly because it’s Gimple’s. His seasons, particularly 4-6, are imo the strongest seasons in the series. His storytelling style is extremely cool. Just really excited to have him back.

The fact that they’re returning to Atlanta is so intriguing to me. Why? What will bring them back there? The last time they were in Atlanta, it was Coda.

They were also filming on the Grady site last March, when both Andy and Emily where in Atlanta, tho we still haven’t seen that on film. I mean I know what I would like for this to mean, so…just trying to stay rational here.

A reference to season 4 on the amc insta acct today !

They’re in Atlanta idk that just makes me so happy lol. It just feels like the beginning and like our predictions that the CRM was in Atlanta are more and more likely to come true with Rick and Michonne being back there. Like why else would they go if not for some reason that involves the CRM?

It also makes me excited that Gimple actually is going to make good on the story he started writing almost ten years ago.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

Awesome! Love it! I haven’t read thru the article, but I will shortly here. This one has also surfaced.

I’m assuming from Atlanta. People are saying it might actually be a stunt double rather than Danai herself. It’s too blurry to say for sure. But hey, hooray for filming pics!

I also feel like the picture of Rick, with blood on his face, is a callback to how he looked after killing Joe Claimer in A.

Two things. This description could apply to Beth and Daryl as well. It feels like a show wide theme to me. It also goes out of its way to mention the red machete.

Secondly, it talks about finding themselves as well as each other. Another show wide theme. Rick’s final episode was all about finding his true family. “I found them.” Not only can we apply that to Beth, but it shows that the theme Gimple laid down in that episode will continue. I love seeing stuff like that because it confirms that they start storylines, back burner them, and then continue them years later.

@wdway

Good stuff n thangs!

@galadrieljones:

The fact that gimple said this is so affirming! I agree. It sounds just like Daryl and Beth.

@wdway:

We were just saying last night how quiet they were being and now we have this.

[yersina]

Tbh I wanna ask the whole thing but to stick to the realm of reasonability may I ask 7, 10, 14, 23, and 29? And anything else you might want to answer if there's any. 🦭 [decompresses from the lack of pressure]

[weird questions for writers]

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

Ohhh what an interesting question! I think what I love most abt writing—why I still write even if it only results in unfinished wips—is… hm how to put this… an execution of an idea? Putting my own spin on a concept? Bringing smth to life from my mind and onto a page? Like I just love thinking about things, and writing gives me a way to share that w other ppl or put it into words, and that’s what’s best about it!

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

LOL uh the first definition that comes to mind for a piece of writing ‘haunting’ me is in the ‘god why did I write this’ sense, in which case I’d probably say my fanfic from my hetalia days……. A full ten years ago at this point…… But I’m also an advocate for not being ashamed of your writing no matter how old or cringy it is bc we all had to start somewhere right? And it still brought me joy at one point even if it doesn’t anymore, so I wouldn’t exactly say that it really does haunt me per se haha

The other sense of ‘haunting’ is probably ‘I think abt it a lot’ in which case—my wips haunt me. OTL

14. Do you lend your books to people? Are people scared to borrow books from you? Do you know exactly where all your “lost” books are and which specific friend from school you haven’t seen in twelve years still possesses them? Will you ever get them back?

I do! Not as much (read: at all) anymore bc my friends and I have all diverged in terms of preferences and also physical location, but in high school, sometimes I’d even give my kindle acct in order to share ebooks haha.

But I’ve also always been a library person, and my physical collection is exceedingly small. I also don’t tend to reread anything? So I only buy books if there’s a reason I’d want to display it and/or come back to it. And it’s hard to lend books if you don’t own them haha. I would lend them if I had any though!

23. Describe the physical environment in which you write. Be as detailed as possible. Tell me what’s around you as you work. Paint me a picture.

So. Most often I’m on my bed (full size, cheap, IKEA) and on top of my blankets (cheap, Amazon). I do most of my work in bed and lying down lol and also on my phone bc if I waited until I had my computer I would get nothing done. It’s probably either late at night or very early in the morning (bc I am unfortunately both a night owl and an early bird—no sleep for me!), so the light is rather dim. I have several larger stuffed animals w me on my bed (one is ice bear from CN, one’s a weighted dragon plushie, and one’s a really loooong shiba-dog-thing that’s probably close to my height) that I can prop my head up on or squash beneath me, depending on my mood. I also have an extra pillow to put against the wall for if I do decide to do anything while sitting up (currently cuddling it as I write this). A lot of what I own is a shade of blue or green. There’s a string of white Christmas lights around the wall next to my bed bc I can’t stand the brightness of the overhead light. Currently there’s a half-finished quilt rolled up beside me.

Really tho I write anywhere inspiration strikes me. Once I wrote a decent chunk while sitting in my car in the parking lot of a homegoods lol

29. Where do you draw your inspiration? What do you do when the inspiration well runs dry?

Hm… my inspiration probably comes most often from other people! I had a ton of fun with all the sctir prompts I got a while back :) A lot of my favorite ideas that I’ve executed comes from putting a spin on an existing trope or concept, or from seeing smth around tumblr or twitter and wanting to write my own version.

My inspiration well runs dry very often, actually. I’m a huge binge-writer—most of what you see from me is stuff that I wrote within a couple days, which is why most of my fics tend to be short. I’m definitely not one of those ‘write a little bit every day!!’ kind of people—that would never work for me, and kinda drains my soul. Trust me I’ve tried lol (case in point: I managed to do an entire nanowrimo a couple years ago (the whole 50k!) and never touched or looked at that fic ever again. Was a fantastic exercise, but just not the way I work). Usually if I have an active wip, I do try to go back to it every couple days, just to make sure I don’t forget about it entirely haha. If I’m not actively working on an idea, I try not to let it bother me too much; the waiting is as much a part of my writing process as the actual writing. I’m all for making it easier for yourself—fanfic writing is a hobby, not a job, and I’m here for my own enjoyment more than anything else. I want to lean into it most when I’m happiest, yknow? :)

Bonus question for fun: 11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve?

Yes absolutely!!! This isn’t to say that you should ruthlessly get rid of what you love most in your writing, but definitely don’t be too attached to every single word you write. The writing advice that I’ve found most helpful so far in my writing journey is: if you’re stuck in your writing, the problem isn’t with the current scene or paragraph, it’s what happened before. I’ve also had an English teacher suggest to us once that we should try rewriting something from memory to pare down to what’s most important (bc anything you don’t remember isn’t essential). I start over all the time if smth’s not working for me and I delete and go back if I get stuck. If I’m getting rid of smth that’s longer, I do try to keep it around or move it to a separate doc in case I need to use it later, or to try and incorporate into a different scene so that I’m not dropping it entirely, but I’ve found myself doing that less and less as I go. It’s annoying, maybe, but I don’t grieve haha

Kill your darlings, for sure 🔪

(ALSO the best part abt fanfiction is that even if a scene that you really love doesn’t work in the main sequence, you’re allowed to write spin offs and side stories and extra scenes as much as you want to lol. Like killing your darlings doesn’t have to mean you resign it to never seeing the light of day, maybe you just fake their death and move them to a different neighborhood skdnejcbjdd)

[luveline]

jadie (may i call u that ?) i was wondering how u deal with hate on ur page. does it ever get rlly hard to the point where u think about quitting or something? ive been going through some hate of my own and although im still a small acct and the love outweighs the hate, its still super hurtful and i just wanna know how someone with a following as big as urs would handle it ! thanks so much

you can call me whatever you like!! how I deal with it..

I think it's important to acknowledge that I have a 'bigger' account or a bigger following because if you tallied up the hate to the kindness I'm shown, there's always going to be more love. And I feel like I can stick up for myself more often because I know I've made friends here and have followers that will support me!! So I would definitely say those things are a privilege that I have to help me

That being said, I've definitely noticed a tenfold increase in hate as I gain followers and i think thats natural, it makes sense that the more people that are exposed to me and my writing, the more I will see people who dont like me or my writing. Sometimes I handle it by crying my eyes out, and sometimes I just feel really sick all day. Lots of the time, hate pretty much saps me completely and I find that I don't want to write anymore because you do start to internalise that and feel negatively about yourself. It's always worse when they kind of find the thing you're sensitive about and prod at it.

And hate feels to me like it is in two categories, actual stuff with value and then the troll/bait kind of stuff. Most of the mean anons I receive I block straight away so they can't send anything again. Sometimes I post it because I want my own say, like when I don't agree with the way someone's speaking to me.

Sometimes you get silly cruel ones, and sometimes you see hate and think like??? What does this have to do with me? Fanfic and writing in general can be so skewed toward personal preference because why wouldn't I write what I want to write? This is my hobby and its for fun, and so when you get those "this was awkward' "this was poorly written" "why did insert character do this" I can disregard that pretty easily cos its a comment based on their own perception and preference. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone if you don't want to!

I recently saw someone get a hate anon that said like "you need to use more full stops, I need to take a breath" and it made me laugh because there are literally millions and millions of books and billions of words of fanfic online and that person has seemingly never encountered a run on sentence before? I think you just have to keep in mind that your circle of experience in life is different to other people's , and there will be overlap but often the majority won't, like a Venn diagram. What I'm trying to say is I tend to not take that stuff too personally (though it's still hate, and still annoying!) because that person probably just hasn't realised the world doesn't revolve around them yet!

Hate sucks! We aren't goodreads authors, we aren't offering our work up for a five star rating and asking people to pick it apart, and it's always gonna be gutting when people don't like what we have to offer. But I just try to take it on the chin because rejection is a constant in life, and if you don't wrestle with it I'd imagine I'll turn into a bitter bitch. 😅

tldr: I let myself be upset by it! I give myself space to feel sad but ultimately I reason that you can't please everyone, and you shouldn't want to! Do what makes you happy and the right people will find you and love you for it !!

[presidentkamala]

Ok 2022 wrap up. First the good:

* killed it at work and on schedule for a huge jump in salary in january 2023

* finally let go of the worst years of my life by *gasp* leaning in2 and committing to my present self???

*moved to a banging new apartment WITH kitchen island

*volunteered for midterm campaigns

*went to chicago, cincinnati, honolulu and st. louis

*READ like 80% more this year than last year (the bar was the like 2 books i picked at and didnt finish last year but still improvement)

*more consistent with skincare routine

*hit 50k in my one savings acct in accordance w financial goals

THE BAD:

*didnt learn a new language, instrument, to code, pottery, or anything. Was grinding at work and not much else

*health took a backseat: too much doordash no fitness plan or even much activity

*didnt make any new friends

*stagnated in other areas. No volunteering for causes i care abt or even at community garden. mUST CHANGE THIS IN 2023

*struggled to stay consistent with much of anything. Scatterbrained for most of the year

THE UGLY:

*lost all muscle tone due to nothing other than lack of care

*no motivation. No real direction. No real sense or vision of the future i want and am working towards. No effort in the places where it counted

*phone and screen addiction. BIG TIME. losing hrs to this that i should be using to get out there and meet ppl and actually improve my quality of life LOL.

*deep-seated suspicion that im not well-liked at work bore out late this year. Not super pleased since that's been my main focus. Probably connected to this other stuff.

*loss of basic intellectual curiosity. In complete survival mode for the first 8 months of the year. Self is almost unrecognizable in many ways.

THE RESOLUTIONS:

I've spent the month of december devoting myself to prepping for the big three resolutions that i feel will have the biggest impact on my immediate health and wellbeing. I did a recipe plan for every day of december and gave myself a zero doordash/restaurant rule but no other real restrictions on what recipes i make and that's gone super well in terms of re-integrating cooking regularly back into my life and even enjoying it! I think in february im going to start paying more attention to making sure im incorporating the plate method to ensure im getting the right proportion of protein veg and carbs into my diet but for now its all about finding recipes that taste good and that i can sustainably replicate etc. I've been doing a lot to make sure im brushing my teeth and doing my skincare routine at least every morning so im going to start bumping up my evening care in January as well. I also downloaded the none2run app to get me up to a 5k which at least lays out the calendar of what i need to do and im on week 2?? I think of the beginner exercises before starting the runs in earnest. I've deep cleaned my apartment and kitchen and have been regularly washing my clothes and doing the dishes instead of letting it all pile up. All of these changes in routine have been gradual over the last 5 weeks or so but its already paying dividends and i love the idea of prepping for resolutions and planning them out so i don't lose track as the year progresses:

*Journal at least once a week (minimum 52 entries by this time next year)

*Develop nourishing recipes you actually enjoy and can replicate. Limit restaurants to once a week (non-holiday) or 3 times a week (with holidays)

*complete none2run 5k.

*sign back up for barre classes at least once a week (non-travel)

*on work travel, complete youtube pilates vid at least twice a week

*this is the year to tackle skin texture and pores. Set up derm appt in January

*complete liftoff program for beginner weightlifting beginning in June.

*volunteer for minimum 2 hrs each week. For anything.

*volunteer for dems at least once this year.

*SEE A FUCKING PSYCHIATRIST

*take one extra-curricular class

*check in quarterly on goals

*take one international trip

2023: We are being specific and intentional!!!!!

[shop-korea]

DEAR - KOREAN - GIRLS,

I'M - GOING - 2 - DO - PEN

NAMES - WHILE - IN - MAIN

LIBRARY - RAINING - HARD

RIGHT - NOW - TRYING - TO

FIND - AN - AUTHOR

READ - FUNNY - ROMANCE

JENNIFER CRUSIE

REAL - NAME - SMITH

BAD - WORDS - PROBLEMS

ALREADY - 1ST - PAGES

LEAD - GIRL - WANTED - TO

MURDER - HER - BOYFRIEND

WEEKS - ONLY

THEY - NEVER - SLEPT - YES

TOGETHER - JUST - KISSING

WHY - WOULD - U - WANT - 2

MURDER - FR - BREAK - UP

IMAGINE - DIVORCE?

NEVER - LOOKING - AGAIN

WASTING - MY - TIME

READ - INSTEAD

JOEL OSTEEN - BOOKS

VICTORIA OSTEEN - BOOKS

DR JERRY SAVELLE

JOSEPH PRINCE - SINGAPORE

SOUTH - CAROLINA

THEY'RE - WASTING OUR TIME

SHOPIFY - ONLINE - STORE

DROPSHIP - THE - FUTURE

AS - WE - NEED - 2 - CONNECT

INSTEAD - WITH - COMPUTER

EXPERTS

CREATING - OUR - OWN - APP

OUR - OWN - WEBSITE

WHERE - WE HAVE - COMPLETE

CONTROL - LIKE - MY - REFUND

AND - EXCHANGES

I - KIND - OF - SAW - WHAT - THE

CUSTOMERS - WILL - B - SEEING

NO - COMPLETE - CONTROL

AND - CONFIDENCE

KLAVIYO - EMAILS

OUR - OWN - COMPUTER EXPERTS

WHO - WILL - CREATE - THE - ART

DESIGNS - WE - WANT

WE - GO - WORLDWIDE - LOTS OF

SHOPS - SHANGHAI - BEIJING

TAX - FREE - HONG KONG ISLAND

OUR - INTERPRETERS

CAN - THEY - B - DEPENDED - ON

DROPSHIP - THEIR - STORES

COMPUTER - EXPERTS - 2 MAKE

THAT - HAPPEN

MY - TOKYO - MALE - SCIENTISTS

I - WANT - VENDING - MACHINES

I - WANT - HUB - LOCKERS

DIGITAL - THAT - CHANGES - SIZE

2 - ACOMODATE - PACKAGES

I - WANT - CARTS - THEY CAN USE

I - WANT - SHOPPING - CARTS

PAY - THERE - TALKS - 2 - US

I - LOVE - DIGITAL - ELECTRONICS

I - WANT - 2 - SELL

'HOME - ALONE - 4'

SMART - HOUSE - REMOTE - LIVING

AND - GADGETS

CONTRACTING - ALLIANCES

SHANGHAI - CHINA

HONG KONG ISLAND - TAX FREE

BOTH - HAVE - DISNEYLANDS

I - WANT - MY - OWN

TRAVEL - PACKAGES

I - WANT - 2 - START

CAILEY - CLUB

WORLD - TRAVEL - DISCOUNTS

PROMO - LAUNCH - PARTIES - 2

WORLDWIDE

SO - I - ASKED - AMBASSADOR

HERE - AT - CAPITAL ONE CAFE

TRIED - LAPTOP

AFTER - PUTTING - MY - MONEY

RE-START - APPLICATION AGAIN

DID - SMARTPHONE

BECAUSE - ONLINE - YANDEX

NO - ACCESS - AGAIN

AFTER - I - DID - CALL - THEM

WHAT - DID - FEMALE REMOTE

SAY - ENTER - LAST - 4 NOS OF

CHECKING

HAD - ENOUGH

SO - AMBASSADOR - DID - AND

JUST - CLICKED - OPEN - ACCT

WITHOUT - MONEY

DONE - GOT - MY - CHECKING

AND - ADDED - SUPERNATURAL

2 - MY - ACCOUNT

WITH - THEIR - OVER - $6,000

BUSINESS - APPLE - I PAD TABLET

GOT - IN - RIGHT - AWAY

EVEN - THEIR - PHOTO - TAKING

WAS - WOW

CAPITAL - ONE - APP - WAS

MISERABLE - SLOW - WIRELESS

THEY'RE - BOTH - HEAVEN - AND

TERRIBLE - MUD

WAS - HORRIBLE - BUT - SAME

TIME - MY - ONLINE - ACCOUNT

MAGICALLY - ADDED - NEW YES

CHECKING - HE - ADDED

SAVINGS - 4 - ME - AGAIN

JUST - 1 DAY

THEN - I'LL - JUST - DO - WHAT

HE - DID - JUST - ADD - ACCOUNT

60 DAYS - 2 - ADD - MONEY

5 DAYS

THE - UPS - STORE

BANK - DEBIT - CARD

APPLE - PHOTO - TAKING

NICE - AND - HUGE

R SIDE - CLICK - LOVE - IT

SO FINDING - DOWNLOAD

2 - ADD - CAMERA

CHROME - STORE

SO - NOW - HAVE - CHECKING

WITH - CAPITAL - ONE

0.10% - INTEREST - FREE

FREE - 360 - CHECKING

HOORAY

2 ATMS - CAPITAL ONE CAFE

BRICKELL - MIAMI - FLORIDA

SEPARATE - GLASS - AREA

DOORS - HOORAY

SATURDAYS - NOT - MANY

PEOPLE - ALSO - LIKE YES

THAT - VERY - MUCH

RAINING - HARD OUTSIDE

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary167

2/27-28/2024

wednesday - thursday

i'm sisisisitting here, and i have a bank acct. now.

my card is gonna be sent to my parent's place, i've gotta go over there to get it, in about a week i suppose. that'll be interesting but i talked to my mom today. not about the card yet, but i'll talk about it tomorrow i think, when we talk more. she is not mad at me, it seems like.

i got really dressed up for the bank today, look!

people were nice to me basically except in walmart where lots of people stared at me, and then this guy that worked there looked totally totally totally disgustedddd. it was fun. i wish i told him to fuck off. i need to stick up for myself better. i think that'd be like, sticking up for myself, right. or is staring back the only thing i should really do? idk.

i ate too many chips today, also, so i'm feeling yucky rn. blehh.

just found out about a really awesome seeming book:

gonna find out more abt this soon, the publisher too, the bits my friend is sending me from this book of poetry are really really good.

just really really beautiful writing, grounding itself in / exploring/ telling history, in ways it is typically not told. a beautiful project, at minimum. but it does not feel like it's just hitting that minimum, truly good writing. it's also from 2023, which is super exciting i think. good writing is still coming, you just have to look.

another thing today, i got new lyrics and vocals down on a song, i wonder if i care about the lyrics that much, but idk, i think it's good, it's definitely about a lot of stuff i've been thinking about lately, re: music people, dj scene and stuff. frustrations. it felt good to scream, today, cuz of being so fucked up yesterday i guess.

i think maybe i could go in and re-record the middle bit and parts of the end, but i think the way the song opens vocally is good. i might also just be having funny issues w/ the sound of the vox. idk. we will see how i feel tomorrow. but since i did that i did also mess w/ how the song sounds, did the saturation thing to it, and that does sound quite good, imo.

tomorrow i need to do some more songs, just re: producing/mastering, i wanna do at least 2-3, and maybe on the 3rd i do a song that has vocals but i want to replace them entirely, so i can start thinking of new ideas for the song.

i also have a new idea for a drawing, that's fun, a new little pixel art ornament thingy.

listening to a lot of the album now, to see how things are coming along, one song still has overly saturated vocals, and some little pieces that need cutting, should be easy enough, i think i like that vocal take, i should sit on the take still, not go in and do that, and for the most part everything is feeling like, good, i think. coming along well, and stuff i thought was worse off isn't too bad really. that might change tomorrow for me but we'll see. there's gonna be a time where i need to just let this all go, and put this out. that time definitely feels like it's coming. or idk, that makes it sound like i'm just putting less effort in, i don't think that's true, it's just that things really are wrapping up in a way i feel like. like how many more times can i conceivably mess with nuances of guitar tone, everything is getting closer and closer to what i want, what isn't that's just getting cut and put off for later, and i can tell at least one of the songs i cut is going to really benefit from that, since i can rewrite parts and have something last longer, i can have this part i really like be like, a closer for this next ep maybe.

anyway, it's like 1 am and i need to prepare for the next days of work where i'm going in at 11 am soo,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[obsessed-yan]

a little vent ׂׂׂׂૢ་༘࿐

my "friend" (using quotes cuz honestly idk if i rlly consider him a friend anymore cuz of this coupled w past stuff thats happened) is being a total pos whiney asshole

what happened was, last week i noticed my debit card had transactions on it that i knew for a fact i didnt make. i contacted some1 from my bank to dispute the charges to get my money back; guy walked me thru it n i cancelled my card. few days later i seen a small amount refunded but knew it wasnt the full amount. friend n i had plans to go to target friday n maybe get smthn to eat, well bc of the stuff w my card i decided i just wanted to go into the bank n talk w someone irl so since i was off work early i asked if we cld go there first n hopefully get everything settled (he said ofc n i did for the most part, the charges started all the way back in april of 2023 which is wild to me that i didnt notice it until last week- i got part of my money back right away so thats good). after that we went to eat then to target (i wanted to go cuz of the cute honeypot i kept seeing on my tiktok fyp also got one ver of jungkooks album n a bts book anyway) i got very frustrated while we were at target so after i paid for my stuff there i was ready to go home.

then the next day at work one of my co-workers asked me how my date went n i said i didnt go on a date..? when i got home i msgd him n asked why said co-worker asked me that; it doesnt help that also that day 2 separate customers asked me abt my ex or made a comment abt how i shldntve broken up w my ex, its been almost 6 months get over it. why do u ppl care so much its none of ur business n also i got yelled at n cussed out by 2 other seperate customers but the date thing happened first n was the main thing that ruined my mood.

he said he thought it was one n asked her for advice. i said it wasnt it was just basically running errands n that i thought ive made it perfectly clear im not n nvr will be interested in him in that way, ever. boundaries were re-established as well that night.

then the next day (sunday) right once i get clocked into work one of my managers pulls me into our accting office to talk w me abt friend bc he called off for his shift n was crying. she knows he likes me n is basically obsessed w me but that i dont like him back n she knows weve been friends n hav talked together for a while now at this point but she asked for all the details that day. i told her as much as i cld b4 i was needed up front. she basically said that he was upset that i was upset abt what happened the night b4 n that he was jealous of one of my other friends n is worried for my safety bc of said other friend. my manager said shes worried abt me to but bc of him n said i shldnt talk to him for a while.

i confronted him abt that (not abt the jealousy of other friend part cuz i honestly forgot abt that bit until just now) he claimed that all he did was call off cuz his stomach hurt n he didnt know why our manager talked to me. he showed me some ss between him n the co-worker that asked me abt friday n i said i wasnt mad abt her knowing i was mad cuz she called it a date cuz u told her it was one when it wasnt n that i was also mad from our manager talking to me abt him. i told him not to talk to our manager abt what i told him and what did he do, he asks her abt smthn i said. like are u fucking an idiot wtf!?

then he said his plan was to leave me alone "until things die down" THERES NOTHINF THAT NEEDS TO DIE DOWN FUCKING MAN UP N HAV AN ACTUAL CONVERSATION W ME FOR ONCE WHERE U DONT TRY TO LIE OR PUT BLAME ON SOMEONE ELSE FOR SHIT U OBVIOUSLY DID and stop talking to other ppl abt me its weird!!!

im sick n tired of whenever smthn happens w him i get asked abt it like what happened w him, idfk n frankly idc

i am so fucking done w him n his bs. he can try to make me feel bad or get pity from me all he wants but im seriously just so over all this bullshit. im not talking to him anymore fuck u. last time he stopped talking to ME cuz of how much i liked 🍫 n i wld talk w him abt it cuz i didnt hav any1 else to, plus we were friends i thought it was ok. but he said i was "unsafe" for him to talk to. i told my manager abt that.

its just like, when were talking before like the first time, he did basically the same shit when my friends wld point out bad things hed say or do n he wld deflect then default to being a crybaby abt it. like ur in ur l8 20's at best, learn how to take responsibility for ur actions man!! like are u joking w me rn

think ill hav to cut it short for rn, im getting tired n cant think str8 lmao

[forsakenmissives]

❤🚀🥳 for the fanfic asks :3

hehe thank u lavender my love!!! ^_^ 💚🌟

❤️ what is your favorite line that you’ve written in a fic?

damn i’ve got so many fics it’s rly hard to think of one 😭 ahhh…

The poems that ensued were rather sweet, though Merlin didn’t seem as into them as he did the first, and Arthur wondered who it was that broke his poor manservant's heart, and he wondered about being the one to hold Merlin’s heart, and then he looked at Merlin’s hands, holding the book of poems.

— from Circumlocution (E, 5.9k) on AO3

i really like the movement in this line, and ik it’s like “how tf is there mvmt that’s a fucking sentence,” but LOOK. it counts cuz of the commas. okay? ^_^ and i just rly like the cadence of it. very lovely. i’m sure there’s other lines, this is just the one that popped into my head first lol <3

🚀 do you like to outline your fic first or create as you go?

in theory i like to outline and sometimes i do if i have a lot of ideas for a fic at once (like how im doing with my football au) but sometimes i just write the og idea at the top of the doc (eg “Roy jamie “All I’ve ever wanted is you, you fucking idiot!”) and go crazy writing

🥳 why did you start writing fanfic?

i’ve always written, like, before i could even properly write, but fanfic in particular was because i was nine years old and really fucking liked the percy jackson series (my dad made me delete my og ffn account but there r fics on the new acct i made later when i was like twelve)

fanfic writer asks!! :3

[confused-alot]

1. i am currently understimulated in my class load and i have too much time on my hands

2. ive only had this blog since mid 2020

3. ive recently reached 10000 posts on here

---> in conclusion im gonna graph my hyperfixations by date and number of posts, corresponding to both important dates in my life and fandom events

lets see those peaks and dropoffs

im pissed i can’t remember exactly when everything happened (when did i read those books!!?!?) it’s my gd life and memories are all that i am as a person so can i please not lose this shit

edit: the above is almost finished but also just reached 400 fic bookmarks so i should analyze those too. if only i committed to making an acct earlier instead of lurking as a guest i’d have more data on the shit that actually got me to start reading ao3 back in the day like gomens and stucky lol