#like imagine what it feels like to lose your faith in something that was your WHOLE LIFE
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what-have-i-unleashed · 2 days ago
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i'll make you lose your way
guess what this is about 😇😇😇 yeah! double homicide be upon ye!!!
(cw: violence)
sans stands outside of the house, uncaring of the way the cold winds bite into his bones through the layers of his clothes, now stained with dust. with his shoes rooted to the ground, he stares at the window to the kitchen, where he can see the silhouette of his brother flitting around in the warmly lit background.
papyrus, who is inside.
papyrus, who has always trusted in him.
papyrus, who is now standing in the way.
sans can’t find it in himself to move, to take a step forward, to take away that light.
“what’s the matter?” a familiar voice breathes out behind him. “getting the jitters?” a couple of footsteps crunches in the snow, then sans feels the presence of his shadow at his back – solid, trustworthy, yet unnerving at the same time. “it was like this for me once, too. but i got over it. you will too, in time.”
sans doesn’t say anything. he can feel the white eyelights of the other burning into his trembling form, unable to tell if it’s from the cold or something else. his shadow continues to speak, “listen, kid. think of it this way. if you don’t kill him, the human will get too him sooner or later. and then, he’ll die begging you to save him. he’ll die cursing your name for not being there. you think this is cruelty, but it’s not – it’s mercy. for him. for you.”
sans can easily imagine that. he’s even seen it a hundred times before, hasn’t he? papyrus, slain by the human. papyrus, with his skull crushed under that creature’s gleeful boots. papyrus, with his death prolonged by a sadistic being who doesn’t care about him at all. all for what? for this song and dance to play out again and again and again and again and-
and sans couldn’t take it anymore. he must take matters into his own hands. it’s been a grueling job, but he’s not alone in this crusade at least.
ash is… strange. allegedly a future version of him where he’s finally won, and yet the lone skeleton wouldn’t tell sans about his world. so tight-lipped about everything except sans, or himself basically. despite having no lv or exp, ash is unnerving, making all of sans’ senses stay on alert whenever he’s near. sometimes sans turns around just to see something else under that hood that ash refuses to put down – something unnatural, something too human-like. but it’s always gone before sans can put a finger on it. maybe he’s seeing things, the hallucinations having evolved from just sounds to full-blown sights.
it’s normal, ash has said a many loops ago. seeing things, hearing things that are not there. all just a product of our brains inside this hell. you’ll learn to differentiate them after a while.
how do you know what’s real and what’s not? sans has asked, all wide-eyed and desperate to escape from his constant nightmares.
… you just gotta have faith in your judgement, kid.
ash has a lot of advice like that, on how to deal with all of this. little tips on how to compartmentalize his feelings to process later. how to get past the pesky puzzles in hotland. how to search for the easy targets to dispose of first. how to deflect and lie and run away when things get difficult.
ash is strange, yeah, but he’s also reliable. so, when he said sans needs to kill papyrus, the younger skeleton has some rare reservations for once.
“is this…” sans exhales slowly. “… the only way?” when ash flickers his eyes at sans, the younger skeleton fights an urge to look away. “i mean, it’s papyrus! he’s not- he doesn’t deserve this!”
ash clicks his tongue. “deserve? what he deserves doesn’t matter. i’ve lived through this before, remember? he dies every single time. you can’t stop it. you can only control how it goes.”
sans swallows, something uncomfortable settling in his nonexistent stomach. “… are you sure about that? you’ve… done this before?”
ash’s grin widens, his eyelights flickering with something unreadable. "i’ve been through this so many times. and, like i said, it gets easier. so stop worrying.”
sans forces himself to meet his mentor’s gaze, unwilling to let the topic wander away this time. "how many times?"
ash is silent for a long moment before tilting his head, looking almost thoughtful. "i stopped counting a while ago,” he mumbles, staring at a spot just on top of sans. “anyway, it doesn’t matter. that papyrus wasn’t real. none of them were."
a chill sets over sans’ bones. “what?”
“what?” ash grins at him, his sockets crinkled at the edges. “what did i say?”
unconsciously, sans takes a step backwards, away from his doppelganger. ash grabs his wrist, the grip unrelenting, almost bruising. sans lets out a hiss. the world around him feels so much smaller, and the air feels even more frigid.
“come on,” ash says, still smiling serenely, his voice deceptively calm. “don’t tell me you have cold feet right now. this is an important moment for you, kid. time to see your commitment to the cause. how much are you willing to sacrifice to make this all work, sans?”
sans stares at ash, at the way he looks so assured, so convinced of whatever nonsense he’s just spouted. something at the back of his mind, a voice sounding suspiciously close to the human, crows about how stupid he’s been, how oblivious he’s been to all the red flags popping around his older self. all the times ash has guided his shaky hands to kill his fellow monsters. all the times ash has patted his back, murmuring encouragements and praises as he stares down the frightened eyes of his targets. all the times ash supposedly stands guard over him as he gets his few precious seconds of sleep, only to wake up without seeing the older skeleton anywhere.
when has his judgement become so horrendous?
(ha, has it ever been good before?)
something inside sans cracks.
“you’re insane,” he whispers. “you don’t care about him. you don’t care about them. you never did.” you don’t care about me.
ash’s eye twitches. “what did you say?”
“you’re just making excuses for your actions. you're just trying to make yourself feel better because you couldn’t take it. because you gave up.”
ash’s expression darkens. “gave up? no. i ascended. i became what i had to be. and now it’s your turn.”
sans’ magic flares, clumsily. he barely has time to act before ash is on him, grabbing him by the collar and slamming him into the snow. a sickening crack echoes as his skull meets the frozen ground. his vision swims. ash presses him down by the skull, pinning him beneath his knees, his breath coming out in uneven huffs, half-laughing, half-growling.
“you thought you could win against me?” ash says, voice tinged with amusement. “look at you. you can’t even land a hit. weak. like i was.”
sans cries out as a bone attack pierces through his shoulder, rendering his hp down to a single digit. the grip on his skull lightens only a bit, and the voice above him drops to something more patient, more affectionate. “you have to let go of this – your fear, your weakness. they’re a detriment to your conviction. your goal. you know i’m right. you could be so much more. you could be everything we were meant to be.”
sans squeezes his eyes shut, letting the poisonous words coil around him like a noose around his neck. he can’t focus through the pain, through the burning thought that his brother is inside the house, unaware of what’s happening outside right now.
papyrus. the only reason he’s doing all of this.
(isn’t it?)
“i’m not-” sans gasps. “i’m not like you. i won’t be you.”
the grip on his skull tightens for a blinding painful second, then it loosens as ash exhales, a breathy laugh escaping, as if he’s amused, as if he’s disappointed. “yeah, yeah, paps. i might be a little bit impatient there. but he needs some tough love, doesn’t he?... sorry, yeah, that was terrible.”
ash releases sans and stands up. sans opens his eyes and freezes upon meeting the red hue that has been haunting his dreams for so long now. ash’s bi-colored eyes regard sans as if looking at a puzzling specimen.
“clearly, you’re not ready,” ash says, hands in his pockets as he summons a cage of cyan bones to trap sans within. “but we have all the time in the world. don’t worry, i’m not going to have you kill your papyrus now. but still, someone has to.”
with that, he turns around and starts to walk towards the house. sans’ hands claw weakly at the ground, but it is no use. he can’t move. he can’t breathe. he is trapped, pinned beneath the weight of his own failure, of his own weakness. he’s always been too weak, too late for everything.
just a failure.
“one day,” ash calls out as his voice gets more muffled by the wind, “you’ll look back and see that this is a blessing. you’ll be grateful.”
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teunip · 1 year ago
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Who am I without my armor?
Inspired from the song Loyal Brave True by Christina Aguilera. I thought it was perfect for Rian and the moment when he discards his castle guard armor.
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aledmorningstar · 11 months ago
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╰┈➤Misunderstood
Summary: How the gang finds out about Sukuna's girlfriend in a misunderstanding.
Relationship: Ryomen Sukuna/Reader
Word count: 3.0k
Note: I'm a liar, I know I said this would go up yesterday, in my defense we set very optimistic goals. Please comment and feel free to send me anything to my inbox
-‘๑’-: No curses au, uni au, sfw, humor, fluff, bad english
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The house of the twins Yuji and Ryomen seemed more lively than normal, as every weekend they had planned a movie afternoon, the meetings began early after leaving school, buying snacks, preparing comfortable clothes and choosing some games of table.
Yuji's face wrinkled into a displeased grimace at seeing his twin dressing casually to go out for a walk down the street, while he and his friends were already prepared wearing their comical pajamas, it wasn't fair. This time it was Yuji's turn to choose the movie so as not to let his brother get away with it.
“What are you doing?”
Sukuna turned to look for a second indifferently at his brother while he finished fastening the buttons of his dark shirt. How could he take seriously his brother who maintained an irritated pout while wearing those ridiculous tiger-themed full-body pajamas?
"I'm going out, tell mom I'll be late"
Yuji's moan of annoyance echoed throughout the house, drawing the attention of Nobara and Megumi who were stealthily trying to spy on the conversation by hiding behind a wall.
"You said you would watch Human Worm 4 with us today!"
The one with the caramel eyes began to complain about the injustice that was occurring, a perfect time for his faithful friends to take action.
“We already prepared everything, you can't leave us stranded for an afternoon of movies!”
Nobara grumbled as she tried to fix the sleeves of her raccoon pajamas.
"We made a pact, you must suffer with us"
Megumi was supposed to be the most mature of the group, perhaps Sukuna had overestimated him because he never imagined seeing him share the same neuron as his friends while also wearing ridiculous beige dog pajamas.
“It's a shame brats, it'll have to be another day.”
The older twin's hands didn't stop moving trying to find the car keys; he had somehow managed to look appropriately with a hint of elegance, but without losing that menacing aura, a pair of black pants held up by an expensive belt that he had stolen from his father, a dark gray shirt with the first few buttons open showing his collarbones and the sleeves perfectly arranged at his elbows showing his tattooed arms.
"You look like a criminal"
“Who said I'm not?”
Itadori's intentions to plant some blame on his brother for abandoning them on a seemingly important night were noticeable for miles.
"At least have the decency to tell me where the hell you're going."
Sukuna took a while to respond, his eyes straying suspiciously and the trio could see a slight nervousness on his face. Wait, nerves? Sukuna? Those words were naturally contrary, it even seemed strange to put them together in one sentence. Here was definitely another shoe that was taking a while to drop.
"Mind your own business, don't be nosy"
Itadori instantly stood between his brother and the front door, blocking his way, he would get to the bottom of this matter at any cost.
"Are you planning something bad? Mom will be angry if you get into trouble again"
"Yes, yes, yes. I plan to do many bad and illegal things, in fact in this mood I plan to strangle the first person in front of me"
Itadori, Nobara, and Megumi looked at each other before leaving the hallway clear, letting Sukuna walk.
"Behave badly, take good care of yourself and if they discover you, deny everything"
“See you”
Once the so-called evil twin left the house, the hallway was completely silent for a few seconds.
“Don't you feel...? Curiosity?"
An excited Nobara looked at her friends with bright, gossip-hungry eyes.
"No not really"
Megumi's voice was ignored as Itadori pushed the Fushiguro boy's face away with his hand.
"I was hoping you'd ask, Nobara! In fact, my brother has been acting strange lately."
Itadori put on a thoughtful expression as he remembered his brother's unusual behavior in recent weeks.
"What do you mean he's been acting strange?"
At that moment Nobara had taken on a detective attitude, while the previously disinterested Megumi began to listen attentively to his friends.
“He's been coming home late, more than usual.”
“That doesn't seem strange for someone like him.”
An exalted Itadori raises his hands dramatically as he defends his argument.
“But when he is usually late it is always because he is causing problems in the streets and he is not at all careful with his arrival, now it is different!”
Sharing a room with Itadori, Sukuna didn't care how scandalous he could be when he showed up at home after curfew. He didn't pay attention to the fact that the noise of his shoes being thrown to any side of the room or that the sound of his swear words every time he tripped over something could disturb his brother's sleep.
Lately, however, the nights that Sukuna had spent late away from home had become more frequent, and Itadori couldn't help but notice even in the dead of night how messy his twin's clothes were every time he returned with silent footsteps and he also did not overlook the large number of marks that stood out on Sukuna's neck.
“Also, he has been trying hard in all his school subjects, he has turned in all his homework and sometimes he goes out to the library to study. Did you hear what I said? He goes to the library to study!”
“That's definitely not the Sukuna we know, something is happening to him.”
The three teenagers headed to the living room to sit down to discuss more calmly and solve that mystery.
“Do you think someone is bullying him?”
Itadori looked worried for a split second at Nobara's statement until Megumi gave him a strange, brief sarcastic smile.
“Are you serious right now? Do you think Sukuna, the most feared man on campus, could be bothered by someone? Jesus Christ even earned the nickname “The King of Curses”
They didn't need much time to agree with Megumi, it was impossible to imagine Sukuna being submissive to anyone.
“True, it would make more sense for him to be the one who bothered someone… It can't be possible”
“I told him clearly not to get into trouble, but he never listens to me!”
“Wait, Yuji, calm down. Don't you think that if that's the case, he's spending too much time on that person?”
Itadori seemed to think about it for a second and his face transformed into one of much more dramatic horror than before.
"So he really hates that person! Maybe he's planning a murder? Your brother isn't exactly known for being patient"
Nobara's words were the little push Itadori needed to panic.
"Sukuna definitely can't go to the correctional facility again!... Mom was very sad back then..."
Nobara and Megumi looked into each other's eyes, unable to abandon their friend in such a situation.
"Fine! Our mission today is to prevent your brother from becoming a criminal.”
"Are we allowed to use force? I still have to get revenge for the books I lent him."
The brown-haired girl, Kugisaki, was the first to stand up and was followed by Fushiguro. It seemed like a scene worthy of a movie, this was the motivational part because both friends extended their hands to the boy in tiger pajamas.
“Wait, wait, wait… What happened to your books?”
“I'll ask your brother when I see him.”
It had been approximately 30 minutes since the trio of friends had located and followed Sukuna, a difficult mission that had begun with the friends running after the older twin's car. The fatigue was overcome by surprise when seeing the target enter a flower shop.
“We're late, he's already planning the funeral!”
“Wait, give him the benefit of the doubt, maybe… Maybe he's going to visit a friend?”
“Impossible, my brother has no friends”
Nobara and Yuji's brief talk was interrupted when they saw Sukuna leaving that flower shop with a huge and pretty bouquet of yellow carnations.
"You see it? Maybe your brother is not as bad as he seems” Nobara's voice tried to be optimistic, and it also seemed strange to her that a man would buy flowers for no apparent reason.
“Now I'm quite confused” Itadori, for his part, narrowed his eyes, staring at Sukuna, trying to read his brother's mind.
Megumi spoke with a stiff voice drawing the attention of his friends.
"Don't be so surprised, in the language of flowers, carnations of that color mean contempt"
"Is he turning his assassination attempt into a performance? He's getting creative"
"Hey, he's leaving. Hurry up"
The gang quickly got into a taxi and like every chase scene, Itadori and Nobara yelled at the driver to follow the car in front of them, Megumi had to apologize to the driver at the end of the ride.
Sukuna drove his car until he reached the darkest and most dangerous neighborhood that anyone could imagine, clearly that place had an invisible sign indicating that it was better not to be there, there were few passers-by and the streets were cold with graffiti everywhere.
The older twin got out of his car after having entered the area a little, he walked as if that place was his territory, as if he felt at home, he adjusted the sleeves of his shirt, raising them to his elbows, with a bored look he observed the time on his watch and then leaned his back against the wall waiting patiently. Meanwhile, the trio had remained hidden behind a pile of boxes and seemingly useless objects, thinking about Ryomen's intentions.
"There isn't a soul in this place, what is he planning to do?"
Itadori's question was answered when Megumi held his jaw making him look to his right, his eyes widened as he saw a girl with a small frame, transmitting an aura of delicacy and fragility, she was the complete stereotype of a little princess wearing a pink dress and white sneakers, light makeup and a flower crown adorning her hair, she looked out of context walking with a smile and humming a song in that horrible alley.
"It can't be her... There's no way Sukuna..."
Nobara's words were cut off when the red-eyed man put out his cigarette and walked over to where the girl was with a proud smile on his face.
The fear that this small, fragile woman could be hurt by his violent brother made Itadori quickly get up from his hiding place and stand in front of his brother.
"Sukuna! Stop right there, don't do it!"
The sudden entrance of his nosy brother surprised Sukuna who maintained a displeased scowl at his twin's actions.
"What the fuck? Get out of the way brat, I'm on something important right now"
"Don't you dare take another step, don't do something you'll regret!"
Itadori's voice took a drastic change, sounding too threatening compared to his usual cheerful tone.
"What the hell are you talking about? Leave me alone, I don't have time for this."
Sukuna looked at the horrified girl who was just a few meters away from him, he pushed his brother away with one hand with the intention of walking towards where she was, however he was stopped and subdued on the ground by Megumi.
“Don't even try it, you disgusting scoundrel.”
“Leave me alone, you fucking bastards!”
While the three men argued and fought among themselves, Nobara also came out of her hiding place and walked towards the frightened woman, being careful not to exalt her even more, Kugisaki placed his hands on her shoulders trying to calm her down.
"Are you okay? “Did he do something to you?”
The girl's hands remained covering her mouth, completely surprised by the situation. She instantly left Nobara and ran quickly to where Sukuna was lying on the ground.
"What are you doing?! Get your hands off him!"
Megumi and Itadori's movements stopped, still holding Sukuna on the ground, they turned to look completely surprised at the owner of that little voice, their minds went blank as they watched her approach, she put her hands on Fushiguro's chest. making an attempt to push him away from the red-eyed twin.
"What are you doing to my boyfriend?! Leave him alone!"
Still bewildered, Itadori was the first to move away and placed a hand on his friend's shoulder for him to do the same, allowing Sukuna to stand up a little dazed.
"I don't know what 'Kuna did to you, but what you are doing is not right, it is not right to intimidate others, problems are solved by talking"
You stood in front of your boyfriend trying to be the one to defend him this time, you used to be a little shy when talking to strangers, but you weren't going to let your lover be the victim of such an unfair situation.
"Honey, calm down. They are—"
"No, love! They were very mean to you, no matter who they are!"
You knew that Sukuna had a special weakness for you that made him want to protect you from any danger, everyone told you that, obviously he would also want to take control of this situation in his hands. No, this time it was your turn to protect him, to be his knight in shining armor.
On the other hand, there were also the three idiots who had tried to play detective, watching the situation in astonishment.
"She... just called him love"
“Yes, she really did”
"I can't believe it"
Ryomen had tried to calm his girlfriend's little anger by taking her hands and caressing them, it worked for a few seconds until that trio spoke again.
Upon hearing the incredulous voices of those strangers, you let go of Sukuna's hands and walked a few steps close to those you thought were criminals.
"Listen, my parents are very important people, I will make sure you are punished appropriately"
Your acute and sweet angry voice was silenced by Sukuna's lips, one of his large hands finding a place on your waist while the other caressed your soft cheek.
"It's okay, princess"
"No, it's not okay-"
You tried to reply to his deep voice, you would be lying if you said it didn't make you shiver, his voice was only directed at you, only for you to hear, that made you calm down and also lowered the tone of your voice.
"Pretty, this is my stupid brother and his friends."
"...Impossible, it can't be…, they were subduing you"
"Don't worry, I'm sure they have a good explanation for doing all this, right?"
The affectionate look that Sukuna had given his supposed girlfriend had changed drastically when he turned to look at his friends, removed his touch from his beloved and walked towards the frightened trio, cracking the fingers of his fists.
"Last words?"
Approximately 10 minutes had passed after that disastrous encounter, Sukuna had considered himself generous that day so he decided to take his brother and his friends to the house where they should have stayed from the beginning, very kind, it had nothing to do with his girlfriend will look at those three idiots like abandoned puppies.
"How were we supposed to know you were visiting your girlfriend?"
"What kind of dates are you taking her on?"
"Yeah, you looked like you were about to commit a crime!"
Of course Itadori, Megumi and Nobara tested their patience throughout the car ride, complaining from the back seats and trying to alleviate the pain caused by the car owner's blows. Your curious little eyes turned to look at the trio with intrigue.
"Why do you say that?"
None of them knew how to answer your question, the answer was so obvious that they thought you were stupid or blind, of course none of them said that thought out loud, not when they felt Sukuna's psychopathic gaze in the rearview mirror. However, that didn't stop Yuji from continuing the conversation either.
"You were alone in that horrible and dangerous place, it is the perfect opportunity for a madman"
"Oh, that..."
Your calm reaction to that comment only confused them more, you were too sweet to be in those places and even worse to be there with Sukuna for no good reason.
"Her parents are renowned people and they do not agree with our relationship, that is why we must meet in the most discreet places possible"
"Sometimes dad hires people to watch me, so our meeting point for dates is that place."
The older twin's words left the dynamic trio thinking, especially Itadori and Nobara, Megumi didn't really care much, your complementation made them imagine a current version of Romeo and Juliet. The explanations of your strange relationship had clarified most of his doubts regarding the strange day.
"Wait, what about the flowers?"
Nobara's comment made all the attention focus on Ryomen who wrinkled his face in confusion until he remembered the detail that his friend was talking about at the same time that he stopped the car in front of his house.
"What flowers?"
"Oh right, I brought you something"
Sukuna got out of the car and went to the back taking something out of the trunk, a nice big bouquet of flowers appeared in front of you held by your handsome boyfriend.
"Oh, honey, you shouldn't have bothered."
"It's no bother when I can make you happy"
You received the beautiful flowers in your small hands, allowing yourself to smell them, such a fresh smell while you lovingly observed your loved one and he returned the same look, absorbed in that cloying atmosphere.
Of course that beautiful moment was not the most comfortable for everyone present, much less for Yuji Itadori imitating his twin with a shrill and annoying voice, since he had never seen his brother in that silly state.
"It's no bother when I can make you happy"
“I'm going to kick your ass”
Megumi couldn't stay silent for long either, because something kept echoing in her mind.
"But the meaning of flowers..."
"Excuse me?"
You looked at him with a smile so sweet and innocent that he hesitated for a second on his next words.
“Those flowers have a negative meaning…”
"It's funny you think my 'Kuna knows the meaning of flowers"
"We should have assumed that"
⋆·˚ ༘ *🔭 master list is here
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plutoasteroids · 23 days ago
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PAC - What advice would the elderly you give the current you
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PILE1 > PILE 2 (TOP 2 FROM LEFT TO RIGHT)
PILE 3 > PILE 4 (BOTTOM LEFT TO RIGHT)
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My readings aare allegedly for entertainment purposes only! Anything said in my readings does not replace any professional advice from qualified and educated persons respectively!
Tarot readings are NOT a replacement for seeking professional guidance.
This reading MAY or MAY NOT contain triggering content - proceed with caution
This is a general reading if you want a specific one for you and YOUR energy you can get a paid reading! - PAID READINGS!
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PILE 1
They are telling you to be kinder to yourself, you have a bad habit or this nature of taking yourself too seriously and being in a way cold to protect yourself. From a young age you have been weighed down by the world's problem and it definitely wasn't fair to you but even though the world wasn't gentle to you at least be kind and gentle to yourself for your own good and for the sake of your inner child. Embrace who you really are and love yourself through the good and the bad. There is still a lot for you to learn specifically finding peace within yourself, learning to let go and seeing the brighter side of life. Life isn't always so serious, find a balance.
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PILE 2
The elderly you acknowledges that you are going through a tough time, and you are weighed down by expectations and honestly life has just been pretty heavy for you more so lately. You may have problem with finances, or you are in a situation you just don't want to be in completely. Don't lose hope, there is a lot top look forward to more than you know. It's hard to see the bright side of things when you feel like you are drowning and suffocated but trust me there is don't lose hope. Good things are coming for you this year (emphasis on this year)
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PILE 3
for you guys, the elderly you wants to focus on your finances. Right now, you feel like you are going through a tough time right now, there is no steady financial flow. You aren't making the money you hoped to be making at this time or at a point in your career or finances that doesn't feel fulfilling to you. To you it may not feel like there is any improvement, but your guides and the universe are working hard to make the path a little easier for you. There is going to be a lot of improvement in your financial life and career, you are going to make more money, and it will flow in more consistently, your spark and thirst to life is going to come back 10-fold, life is going to get so much better for you!
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PILE 4
You have been made to feel that there is this certain order or structure that you must follow, that you must follow the system to a T (being a slave to the system) when in reality you are worth much more than that you are here to do a lot more than you can imagine. You are going through a tough time, you failed at something important, or you are dealing with societal pressure but whatever this situation is proves to be necessary for your own growth and development. All you need is a little confidence and faith in yourself and the divine, things will work out in your favour!
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feyascorner · 11 months ago
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“I love you.” The first time he says those simple three words, he doesn't mean it. Not really. And he knows you're aware of it too, with the stern glare you give him in response to his smug grin. He's teasing you—or, it looks that way anyway. In reality, he hopes that there's a glimmer, a sliver of your heart that welcomes his enticing and open arms. It’s routine. A habit. It feels more natural to lure you in with songs of promises than to simply tell you what he needs. He hopes you take his hand and ignore the sharp nails digging into your skin. He hopes you fall.
“I love you.” The second time is months later. He thinks he might genuinely mean it this time, considering how heavy his heart feels in his chest as the words leave his lips. But it’s hesitant. You can tell. And ever so patient, you only smile at him, taking his hand this time to squeeze it gently. Ah, that feels nice. Does he love you? Have you grown on his cold, dead heart? The fact that he doesn't want to recoil from your touch is enough if an answer..
“I love you.” The third time is at his grave. He’s confident now. Feeling. Wanting. He wishes he could hold your fingers against his skin forever. He doesn't want to even let go, because he fears you might vanish into thin air, like every other caring thing in his life. You're good. Understanding. Nothing like him. You deserve better than him. But he's always been a selfish man, and even though your presence urges him to be better, he remains selfish when it comes to you. He doesn't--no, he won’t lose you.
“I love you.” He’d feared he would never get to say the words again. He had faith in you of course, but an Elder Brain is no easy feat to defeat. But as he watches the brain sink into the darkest depths of the sea, the others cheering behind him, he feels the sun begin to prick at his skin again. It stings. Gods, does it sting. For a moment, he wonders if he should even run. He's had a taste for the sun kissed glow and he's not sure if he wants to part ways with it if it means he’ll rot away in the shadows forever. But when he feels you hurriedly toss a cloak over his shoulder, covering his face with the hood just enough for him to meet your eyes, you offer him something he doesn't want to ever imagine himself without again. Something he’s still in disbelief he has. Someone to worry for him.
I love you, I love you, I love you. As years pass, the words become more frequent, yet they never lose their weight, no matter how they're said or when. It’s funny, really, how he'd almost feared saying the same exact words just a few decades ago. To Astarion, they remind him that you're still here, allowing him the privilege to let him love you as much as he does.
“I love you.” The last time he says it, whether it be after an untimely death or simply from old age, he’s holding your hand again. He hates that instead of the adoration it’s supposed to convey, he hears more of the wobble in his voice as he realizes his time with you is up. Even though he's said it so many times, he finds that it still wasn't nearly enough. Open your eyes, he pleads to nobody in particular. He breathes. Why is he breathing? He doesn't need to. But the breaths become faster, and he realizes he’s crying too. Curses, how immature. Ah, your hand is so cold, almost like his own. He hates it. Don't be like him. And when he begs, he begs. Squeeze his hand again. Touch him again. Smile at him again. Live again.
Let him love you again.
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whocaresstillthelouvre · 6 months ago
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Fifteen Weeks
Din Djarin x Cam Girl Reader AU
Rating: Explicit. 18+ (Minors DNI)  Summary: It's been fifteen weeks since Din Djarin first entered your life, now you can't imagine it without him. You take a leap of faith in your relationship and visit him at his farm. Warnings: Smut, loss of virginity, face sitting, premature ejaculation, unprotected p in v sex (reader is tested and has an IUD, protect yourselves IRL), mentions of sex work, anxiety, Din is bad at feelings, farmhouse emotions, goats!, yes I made Din Djarin a schnauzer owner don't judge me. Words: 5,050
A/N: Here it is folks, the follow up to Fifteen Minutes, which I originally wrote as a standalone. Thank you to @goodwithcheese for speaking so highly about Fifteen Minutes thus making me revisit this draft and finally finish it. I also want to thank @frannyzooey for taking a look at the bare bones of this months ago. I really love these two and I’m so glad they finally get to eat soup together.
Fifteen Masterlst Masterlist
___
“So, where ya’ headed?” the Uber driver asks, turning toward the departures terminal.
“Just to see a... friend."
“Hm. Must be a special friend to catch a flight this early.” 
“I guess he is,” you smile through a yawn.
___
Waiting to board. Can’t wait to finally see you! xxxx🙂
Hitting the send button, you shake your head still finding it hard to believe you’re traveling almost halfway across the country to meet a man. A man you’ve fallen head over heels for.
Can’t wait to see you too. See you soon.
His response arrives just in time. A nervous rush of excitement courses through your body before turning your phone off for departure. 
You wonder if your seatmate can feel your leg shake as the nerves tap out against the plane floor. Sure, you’re excited, you’re ready to meet Din in person but there still is trepidation twisting inside of you. You’ve never done anything like this at all. You’ve never met a client and now you’re on a plane headed to one. You’ve known him for only four months, but the connection the two of you share is something you’ve never believed to be something you’d find. You’ve dealt with enough men wearing wedding bands who tell you they love you, that you’re the most beautiful woman they’ve seen, that you’re their whole world. Love is a ridiculous concept when you charge ten dollars a minute. 
With Din, it’s different, it’s something that can be named, can be felt, can be solved, and yet so many questions about it remain. What do you call the quiet silence that exists between the two of you, happy to be on the phone keeping each other company every night? The small laugh and head shake he does whenever you tell him he’s cute? The random texts of his life that always brightens your day? The way he nods with zero judgment when he hears the ding of your new client alert? What do you call the decision that got you here on this plane? 
You read the same page over and over in your book. Will you sleep in his bed tonight? 
You give up on reading and stare forward at the little map on the seat screen. What does he smell like?
You look out the window and watch the clouds disintegrate around you. Is he just as nervous as you?
You turn the volume up and try to drown out your racing thoughts. Will this all be worth it?
Two hours left to find out. 
___
You step off the escalator, eyes scanning the crowded baggage claim area for the reason why you’ve taken a six hour flight halfway across the country. Your hands grip the backpack strap tighter trying to calm the nerves overtaking your heart and brain.
There, right there, leaning against a column alone in the shadows is Din and the brown eyes you’ve only dreamt of seeing in real life. He straightens when you make eye contact, but makes zero attempt to move, still frozen against the column. You lose the fight to hide your smile and excitement hurriedly shuffling over to him, he smiles as you get closer, the same shy half grin he gives when he says good night. His hands slip out of his pockets as you approach. Goodness, he’s so big and handsome, he could be a heartbreaker of all sorts to anybody he sets his sights on. The phone doesn’t do his beauty any justice.
“Hi,” you smile.
“H-hey, I can’t believe you’re… here,” his voice sounds even smoother and deeper in person.
“I am,” you shuffle on your feet. Hug me, kiss me, let me hug you, let me kiss you.
He tucks his hands back into his hoodie pocket, his silent rejection shoots a pang of longing through you. 
You thought it’d play out like a grand romantic movie, you’d jump into his outstretched arms and he’d never let go. Din’s rejection fills you with jealousy… screw all of the happy couples. You hate those movies now.
Touch me.
Of course he’s nervous, you’re nervous too, you’re just better at hiding it. He still leans against the column, shielded by the liminal space.
“Do you have luggage?” He’s right in front of you and yet you’re too scared to touch him, too anxious you’ll scare him away. 
“Nope, just my backpack and carry-on.” 
Hug me, kiss me, let me hug you, let me kiss you.
“Oh, okay, did you want to leave then?”
“I didn’t come here to see the airport Din,” you place a hand on his hoodie clad arm. He looks down and stares. 
Did you overstep? You couldn’t have, you just watched this same man orgasm for you last night while chanting how he couldn’t wait to paint you with his cum. 
“Din,” you snap him out of his stare, “come on, I’m ready to leave.” 
You know he’s not trying to reject you, but his nervous aloofness is overwhelming when all you want is for him to touch you… just once. 
“I—uh, here, let me take your bags,” he mumbles, reaching past you to grab your suitcase. “It’s really cold, do you have a heavier jacket?” 
“No, but I’ll be okay,” you reassure. The cold won’t sting nearly as much as Din’s seemingly innocent rejection.  
“Here,” he pulls the collar of his hoodie over his head. “I’m used to this cold. You aren’t.” 
You take the bundle of black fabric from his outstretched hand, not realizing just how cold you were until you put the hoodie warmed by his body heat on. It smells of him. Faint hints of campfire, wood, leather, citrus, and cinnamon. You wish you were wrapped up in Din himself, touching him, smelling him, tasting him. Hug me, kiss me, let me hug you, let me kiss you.
“Thank you,” you whisper. Whatever is happening inside of him seems to be bleeding over into your mind. You’re now second guessing every decision to come here. He was excited last night, he texted you this morning how he couldn’t wait to see you, is he disappointed? 
“Yeah, of course,” he nods and turns towards the door, walking away in quick strides leaving you alone in the dark corner near that damn column he’d rather touch than you. He has your suitcase and backpack, so either this is a really expensive way to get robbed or he has zero clue how his actions are affecting you. 
He turns back to you as he reaches the automatic doors, his eyes wide with guilt when he spots you still standing in the same place he left you. Well, at least he feels bad. 
You let a deep breath out to steel yourself and walk to him.
“I-I’m sorry, just not used to ever having to… you know…”
“I know, it’s okay Din,” you gently smile. What in the world have you gotten yourself into?
“I’m just—“
“Nervous. I know Din, it’s okay. I understand this is a lot.”
“It is, but just… know that how I’m acting is not how I’m feeling. I’m really happy to have you here. You’re so… beautiful and I—thank you for being here with me.”
There it is. Everything is worth it now. The early morning Uber to the airport, the neverending TSA line, the cramped airplane seat, the nervousness you feel. You’d do it all again to hear that sentence. 
“Of course, I know. You’re okay,” you take his hand. If he’s not going to do it, you’ll do it. “Come on, let’s go.” 
His eyes stay downcast staring at your hand wrapped around his.
You clear your throat to get his attention, his eyes snap up to yours. “Din, let’s go.”
“R-right. Of course. Right.” 
He leads you out the door, gripping your hand harder when the bitter wind lashes against your skin. 
The two of you weave your way through the parking lot until you reach a large silver truck. It’s clean with a few dents and scratches. Well taken care of but old. 
Din opens the creaky door and helps you step up. The black leather seat is smooth as you slide across it.
Din places your luggage in the back before opening his door and deftly stepping in. 
You hide a deep exhale when he starts the engine.
He clears his throat and you look over. “It’s–uh nice to see you in here.”
“I’m glad,” you smile, turning and reaching your hand out to touch his cheek. Your thumb finds the little heart patch on the side of his face, you’ve been thinking about how it’d feel since you first saw it. You can’t help yourself, he looks so delicate, as if he’s aching to be touched but too scared to ask for it. You’re holding a scared fawn in your hands. Don’t scare him, don’t move too quickly, let him figure things out on his own. 
His lips part as he inhales, deep brown eyes staring into yours, the nervousness radiating off his skin fills the truck cabin. You wish you could just throw caution to the wind and force him to tell you exactly how he’s feeling, to slide across the bench seat and beg him to take you right here in this airport parking lot. You don’t. You pull your hand away and put your seatbelt on.
“I can’t wait to see your home. I’ve never been to an actual farm before.”
___
You’ve seen glimpses of Din’s home in random pictures he’s texted you or your nightly FaceTime sessions, but you never imagined just how picturesque it could be. A large white two story farmhouse situated in the middle of a vast expanse of green grass, a small tin roofed barn sits to the side with a herd of goats happily grazing. Din’s life must be so peaceful here, very different compared to your townhouse in the middle of suburbia.
“It’s beautiful,” you muse as he pulls into the driveway. “I can understand why you never wanted to leave.” 
The truck stops in front of his home, a german shepherd and a little schnauzer run down the porch steps and head for Din’s truck.
“They’ll be fine with you, but let me get out so I can control them.” 
Din gets out of the truck, you chuckle to yourself as his clipped directions to the dogs are drowned out by excited barks. 
He opens your door and reaches his hand out.
“Grogu! Boba! Back!” Din shouts as he helps you step down. His raised voice makes your heart skip a beat. You didn’t know he could ever be this loud.
“It’s okay, I like your dogs, you know I think they’re cute,” you bend down and tap on your knees to beckon them over. “This must be Grogu,” you scratch his soft ears. “He does have big ears.”
“They’re not that used to other people.”
“Hmm,” you stand up and pat the top of Boba’s head, “sounds like someone I know.”
He chuckles as he walks up the porch steps and unlocks the front door. 
Warmth fills your body as you walk over the threshold. White walls, worn floorboards, antique furniture, all of it taken care of and clean. Tidy and well kept up, a lot like his truck, aged but in better shape and made to last; a far change from your newbuild townhouse and IKEA furniture. 
“Diiin,” you breathe, “it’s beautiful in here. Like… I knew you lived in a nice house, but wow, between this and the farm… when do you sleep?”
“I sleep enough. I’ll go get your bags, make yourself… at home.”
You take a seat on his couch, it’s perfect for him. Beige, simple lines, nothing fancy, not too comfortable, but probably the height of cozy after a long day working on a farm. Grogu jumps up and sits next to you, his little bearded face panting happily next to yours. You scratch his chest and praise him as he inches closer towards you. Boba stays near the entry, waiting for Din.
“Think he likes you,” Din says as he places your bags by the steps. “Don’t take Boba’s standoffishness personally he’s–”
“Like you. I know,” you smile.
“Did– what would you like to do?”
“Can I see the computer where you first talked to me?”
“Um, yeah,” he walks down the hallway leaving you behind yet again, “it’s just in here.”
You shake your head and rise off the couch to follow, obviously he’s not used to company.
You walk into a small office, everything has a place, efficient and tidy, perfectly Din. Paperwork stacked in neat stacks, a calendar with his sharp writing all over it hung on the wall, today’s date circled with your name written in the box. 
A black monitor sits on a mahogany desk. 
“This is the computer, huh?” you ask, running your hands across the black keyboard,
“It is.”
“So this is where it all began? You sat there, clicked on my picture, and now look. I remember when I first heard your voice,” you face him taking both of his hands in yours, “it was so deep and warm, it lit something inside of me.”
You guide his arms to wrap around you, his hands rest on your lower back.
“I couldn’t stop thinking about you after our first session ended. There was something so pure and mysterious about you, I knew you weren’t lying about wanting to know. It wasn’t some kink you had, I knew you needed help. I felt lucky to be the one to show you.” 
He sighs as you rest your head against his chest hearing the rhythm of his heart. “I closed that window so many times before finally agreeing and joining. I-I kept on thinking about how I could talk to someone as beautiful as you, all it would take is just a click. You were so pretty.” 
“Just a click,” you whisper, craning your neck up as Din lowers his head. His nose bumps against yours, his plush bottom lip is captured between your lips, another part of him you’ve wanted to touch since you first saw him. You finally kiss him, sweet and tender, his lips molding to yours perfectly. He pulls you in closer, his tongue hesitantly dipping into your mouth as you lick against him. The past fifteen weeks have finally led to this moment inside of this old farmhouse office in the middle of nowhere. Your Din and his soft lips, tense hands against your back, your soft coos mingling with his low groans, you could stay in this moment forever, if it wasn’t for Din’s phone beeping in his pocket. 
“I’m sorry,” he pulls away, a bashful smile adorns his face, “I need to go take care of the goats before sundown.”
“Of course.” 
He hugs you, planting a soft kiss against your forehead and inhaling your scent before leaving. He’s warming up…
___
Din loves soup. You know this by the nights you spend with him over the phone. The man eats soup almost every single night. Soup with bread, soup and a baked potato, soup and steak, soup, soup, soup. 
You can’t blame him, the stew and homemade rolls he serves you for dinner are delicious. He shyly tells you it’s his speciality when he places the porcelain bowl in front of you. 
You could get used to the farm life. A fire burns in the fireplace while the tv plays Din’s favorite movie he’s been wanting to show you, some film about a galaxy far far away and an unlikely hero. The man loves space. 
His arm slung across your shoulder lies heavily on you, warming you inside and out. Grogu sleeps on your lap, softly snoring as you pet his gray fur. Din occasionally sneaks a kiss against your hair, you don’t know if you’ve ever been more comfortable in your life. 
The movie ends, a grand symphonic score plays over the credits. 
“That was really good,” you smile towards Din. “I liked it.”
A grin slowly stretches across his face. “Yeah?” 
“Yeah, thank you for showing me it.”
“You’re welcome,” he gazes at you, the same look he smolders through the phone, like he can’t believe his luck that you’re talking to him. 
You attempt to fight a yawn and lose. Your eyes blink tiredly at Din when he reaches and rubs his thumb against your cheek. 
“Did you want to,” he clears his throat, “sleep in my room with me tonight?”
“Only if you want me to Din.”
“I, uh, I do.”
“Okay, I’d like that.”
___
The airplane and long day washes off and rinses down Din’s shower drain. You use his washcloth and think of his hands touching you. You smell his soap and think of inhaling the scent as he holds you close. You don’t know what’s about to happen once you leave this room. If you’re this nervous, how does he feel? 
Din looks up from the book he’s reading and watches you step out of the bathroom shyly padding over and getting into bed.
“What are you reading?” you whisper.
“Some book about a cowboy warrior in space…”
“Sounds interesting.”
“It’s good.”
“You know,” you look around the simple bedroom, “I see this room all the time, but only the wall behind your bed, hardly anything else. It’s been really nice seeing more of your life.”
He nods, blinking back to his book. 
The night can’t end like this. 
You grab the book from his hands and place it on the table.
“What are you thinking about Din? I never know what’s going on inside of you.”
“H-how pretty you look wearing that.” 
You look down at the pink silk tank top and shorts and swallow down a smile. You specifically wore it because you know how Din’s eyes light up whenever you put it on. “It’s my favorite because it’s so soft. Do you want to feel it?” 
He turns to you wide-eyed and gives you a solitary nod. 
“Go ahead Din.”
His tan hand splays across your stomach, golden toned skin rests against the blushy silk of your tank.
“S’soft,” he murmurs to himself.
“Here,” you place your hand over his and press down, “really feel it.”
His eyes angle down watching your hand navigate his around your stomach to just below your breasts. His mouth sits slightly agape, thick brows furrowing in concentration as you slip his hand underneath the fabric, his trembling calloused fingers making contact with your skin. 
“Am I soft here Din?”
“Y-Yes,” he stammers. 
“Touch me, as little or as much as you want. Wherever you’re comfortable doing, okay?” you remove your hand from his. “I came here for you… whatever you want… I want..”
“I want to,” he gulps, “I want to touch you all over.”
“I’m all yours baby.” 
His shoulders deflate with a groan, he trails his hand higher to cup one of your breasts. The tips of his fingers peek out of the top of your tank. Tan, well worked strong hands lay against your smooth skin. The sight makes you moan, your teeth gnawing at your lip, trying to qualm the temptation to touch him further. 
“Take it off Din.” His dark brown eyes beam up to yours. “Go ahead baby.” 
He grabs the hem of your tank top, softly bundling it in his hands and lifting it over your head leaving you bare chested. 
“Kiss me and touch me baby,” you gently will. 
His lips form over yours, his hands return to your skin, petting and caressing your breasts before you cover them, pushing them farther down your stomach. His breaths quicken against your mouth when you slip his hands underneath the band of your shorts. 
“Fuck,” he pants against your lips when his hand meets the wetness seeping from your pussy. “Fuuuuuck.” 
“You feel me baby? That’s how wet you always make me, ever since the first time we talked and all you were was a black square with a sexy voice. It’s like we were destined in the stars.” 
“God damnit, you’re so soft,” Din’s hips buck into the air, his head thuds against the headboard when his thick finger slips in between your folds. “I-I-I oh god, I’m– I think I’m going to cum. I’m sorr–” 
“It’s okay baby, I’m here, cum for me.” Your hand reaches down and grips his hard cock through his black sweatpants. “Cum for me Din.” 
You feel a warm wet spot spread against your hand, pulling a moan from you.. 
“I’m--agh– sorry,” his big eyes stare at you, a hint of shame rounds them. “You feel so amazing.” He pulls his hand out of your shorts.
“No,” you whimper at the loss of contact. “I like it baby, I like that you like me so much that happened. Please don't apologize. Keep touching me if you want to. Do you?” 
“God,” his eyes shrink in determination, “yes I do.” 
“Okay baby.”
You sit in between his stretched out legs, lifting your hips to take off your shorts, spreading your legs wide, much the same way you do for your clients. 
He stares at your exposed skin, eyes mapping every dip, curve and dimple of your body. 
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers. “I can’t believe you’re here… for me.”
“Of course I am baby.” 
His fingers trace the plains of your legs, moving their way up to your thighs. His face set in a determinative scowl, eyes fixated on your core as he inches closer to it, now aching and soaked for him. 
“I-I’ve never done this.”
“I know baby, you remember our first call?” 
He nods.
“Remember what I told you what I liked?”
Another nod.
“Do that for me baby, touch me. Make me feel good.” A thick finger meets your lips, tracing a line up from your entrance to your clit before softly rubbing a circle around your sensitive nub. He remembered.
“You’re so wet for me,” he breathes out, his eyes staying planted staring at your pussy beguiled by his own actions.
“I am Din, only for you. I think about you every time. I-I,” you moan when he sticks a finger inside, slowly pumping it in and out, “I only want you.” 
“Only want you too, baby. C-can I taste you?”
“Ye–oh my god, yes Din, I’m yours, do whatever you want to me.” 
“I’m yours, anything you wa–”
“Sit on my face,” he growls. 
“O-of course.” 
You crawl towards him, leaving a chaste kiss on his lips before straddling his face, your dripping cunt hovers right over his mouth. He grips your ass and pulls you down, smothering himself with all of your slickness. You cover him like a mask, he worships your taste like a religion, moaning and groaning into your sweet pussy. Your praises about how good he’s doing and how amazing you feel incant out of your mouth as he takes you to paradise. Plush lips suck and savor you, your hands grip the bed frame like a precious artifact, his devotion to you and your pleasure pulls a melting orgasm from you. 
“Din, Din, Din,” you pray at his altar, knees bowed and quaking against his ears as he drinks your offering down. You’re shattered, everything you’ve ever believed in replaced by Din and his idolatry of you. 
You move your lust drunk body off and lay down next to Din. His face shines with a gloss of you, his tongue peeks out and licks his lips, before sending you a shy smile.
“You’re amazing,” he incredulously mutters. 
“You are too,” a doting grin lights your face before pulling him in for a kiss. You can taste yourself on him, a moan leaves your throat at the realization. 
Strong arms envelop you, pulling you closer to him, his hard cock juts against the soft skin of your thigh. 
“Already?” you pull back and tease. 
“C-can I feel you?” 
“Feel me?” 
“Yes, c-can I… can we….?”
A rush of anticipation thrums through your body at the implication of his nervousness.
“Yes Din, we can. Are you sure this is what you want tonight? We can wait.”
“N-no. I want you, I-I want this,” he moves his sweatpants down, kicking them off. 
“Okay baby, okay,” you kiss him, grabbing his face, petting the soft hair of his sparse beard.
He rolls on top of you, cradling your head between his strong forearms, a heated kiss licks into your mouth as his naked weight covers you. Your legs open in a silent offer for Din to take everything you have. You can just feel the heft of his cock ghosting against your entrance. 
He looks down at you, brown eyes wide, plush mouth parted, brows softened with adoration. 
You send him a silent nod and smile when his cock enters you, feeling a sense of honor that you’re the one Din has chosen for this. You wouldn’t have it any other way. The green accept button, the reserved man dressed in all black, the deep voice, the connection between two screens. Now, you’re here with Din, moaning and rolling your hips to accept the length of him.
His neck strains when he sheathes his cock fully inside of you, panting and groaning as he slowly rocks back and forth.
“You … feel … like … heaven… I love your pussy… I love your body…. I… love you.”
He freezes at the divulgence, body locked in shock at his slip. 
Your face lifts in a reassuring grin. “I love you too,” your hand grabs his chin, bringing his lips to yours. 
You love him, you’ve known it for so long, but here in this farmhouse bed you can hear it, you can feel it. 
Your bodies meld, hips meeting, lips locked, he gives you everything, you give him everything. Your pussy clenches around his slow, full strokes. This is making love. 
“Baby, I-I.. I’m going t–” he strains. 
“Go ahead Din, I got you.” Your hands trail up and down the expanse of his smooth back. He grunts, burying his head into the crook of your neck, fevered breaths hit your skin as his cum fills you.
He rolls off, pulling you to his side and kissing the top of your hair. 
“Wow… I.. are you okay?”
“What?” your head perks up.
“You didn’t… uh–”
“I did when you fucked me with your tongue Din, I’m very happy and satisfied.” 
“Oh, I just… I want to make sure you’re good.”
“Baby, I am very good. Trust me.” 
“I love you,” he breathes.
“I love you too Din…” you rest your head against his chest, the exhaustion of the day settling in, quickly lulling you to sleep. This is the way to go to bed.
___
The faint sound of running water gently rouses you from the most peaceful slumber you’ve had. The sun has barely peaked over the horizon, the room’s still shrouded in a lazy darkness. 
Din’s long sigh echoes against the tiles of the shower like a siren song. 
You pad out of bed toward the bathroom, pushing the door wide open. 
Your mouth drops at the sight ahead of you… Din’s muscular, toned golden body shines underneath a glistening sheen of water. He runs a gray wash rag across his stomach, the mop of dark, curly hair right underneath his hand beckons you to look farther down. You’ve seen him so many times before, almost every night, but this is the first time you’ve been able to see all of him in person. Din is a big man, his cock matches his stature. Just as long, just as broad, just as golden. God, he’s gorgeous. 
You knock on the doorframe catching his attention, surprise tensing across his whole body. 
“Good morning,” you purr, “can I join you?”
He nods, his cock grows visibly hard when you walk over and get in. The warm steam, Din’s naked body, and the smell of Din’s cedar body wash engulfs you, this is the way to wake up. 
“Mmm, the hot water feels good,” you sigh, leaning your head against his chest. Din’s cock rests heavily in between you, tempting you to touch it. “Want me to wash you?”
He groans a yes. 
“You can wash me too,” you propose, squeezing a dollop of body wash onto your palm, running it across your chest before leaving suds on your hands. “Go ahead Din.”
Drops of water land against your skin as his trembling hands slowly reach for your breasts. He massages and kneads, both palms laying against your tits, his touch turns more searing when your hands land on his chest, rubbing in the soap along the dusting of hair stretched across his broad body. 
Your nipples pebble under his nervous, firm touch and undivided attention. He hisses when your hands slink farther down, running across the damp curls of his happy trail leading you to his cock standing between his thighs, thick and dripping. You wrap a fist around his length, his knees weaken causing his body to smash against the wall, his face grimacing in pleasured agony.
“Fuck,” he pants, water rains down into his wide open mouth, splashing out with every exclamation of your name he repeats as he cums all over your stomach. 
Your tongue runs up the column of his neck to his mouth, swallowing his rapid breaths. 
“You feel so good against me,” he gasps against your lips. “I can’t believe you’re here.” 
“I am baby, I am,” you coo, wrapping your arms around him, wishing you could live in this tiny shower forever. This is the way to wake up.
___
Din settles on the porch swing next to you, pulling your blanket wrapped body close to him. 
“Is this what you do every morning?” 
“Just about,” he says before taking a drink of his coffee. 
“It’s nice,” you yawn, “early but nice.” 
He chuckles, “You get used to it.” “Mm,” you rest your head on his chest, smelling the fresh dew and hay on his flannel jacket. 
“I really like you being here,” he softly says.
“I really like being here too.”
“You know,” he gulps, “you can do your job here… with me.”
___
A/N: Thank you for reading! This ending makes me feel:
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starmocha · 14 days ago
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Hi hello so im back again with a smaaaaaaallllll rant about Colonel Caleb and general's daughter. I just got the ideea and i had, once again, nowhere to rant about it.
Ahham. So....them having their own 'myth' lets say. They were lovers in their past lives(historical maybe the 1800 or the 1900)but couldn't be toghter since she was of lower status then Caleb, him being a Colonel in the army (i love Colonel Caleb so bear with me) and her being a commoner or someting and she dies in his arms and he swears to protect her in their next lives and faith makes sure to have them be of the same 'rank'??? so he could fullfill his promise FUCK MY MIND IS IN RUINS 😭😭😭😭😭😭
I hope i made myself clear if not blame my mind, thank you! Good night! 😭😂❤️❤️
MINA I AM DELIGHTED TO SEE YOU AND YOUR LOVELY AU AGAIN. <333 gosh I wanted to answer this immediately last night, but Caleb’s latest trailer had me losing my mind and things spiraled 😭😭😭
Giving you all of my attention, because EXCUSE ME. WHEELS ARE SPINNING.
Can we…can we just indulge on this a little more? 🥹 omg excuse the slightly heavy Moulin Rouge! influences sprinkled in here, but this is the vibe I am getting, especially for their “tragic” ending.
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A Colonel and His Lover
Imagine Colonel Caleb is dragged to a brothel by his associates and superiors. He finds the whole thing disdainful, but is pressured by his own superiors to indulge in a little nightly fun and let loose and forget their duties for a bit.
He doesn’t plan to. He had planned on leaving the moment everyone finds their partners.
Until he sees you.
Literally lust love at first sight.
He’s captivated by your beauty, your wits, and he’s falling hard and fast before he realizes what is happening.
One night with you leaves him yearning for more. He has already remembered how you felt under him, the way you quivered and moaned for him.
He remembers the sweet nothings uttered between the two of you, and though a tiny part in his mind is telling him that you are just a whore who is good with her tongue, he wants to believe that there is something genuine blossoming between the two of you.
He starts going back to the whorehouse more often. Nightly, if he could. He still puts on an act that he was being pressured to tag along, but in reality, all he wants is to see you again. No matter what it takes, what the price, he wants you and only you.
In the beginning, he was just another client. One of those military brutes who only saw you as something that can be bought for and used until they were satisfied.
You did intentionally charm him in the beginning. A false smile, a few sweet words to prickle his male ego, but it soon becomes apparent to you that Caleb is not like all of your previous clients. When he sees you, there is genuine feelings in his eyes, he is truly looking at you for you and not just a body to be used.
You try to discourage your own feelings, reminding yourself of the different classes you belong to. This can never happen—could never happen.
A prestigious colonel on his way to greatness and a common whore? What a joke. It seems almost insulting to entertain such an idea that you could ever truly be his. You quiet those feelings, try to imagine him as any of those other bastards who drag you to bed.
Except you can’t.
Caleb won’t let you. He sees you for you. He wants to know you, the real you, who you have hidden away for years.
You no longer wait for him to come to you as a client. You begin to sneak around whenever you both could, having regular rendezvouses where he is no longer a client or you’re a whore, but two lovers meeting to be together.
After one afternoon delight, you lay with him in an inn bed, tangled in sheets and wrapped in his warmth, and he paints you a beautiful picture of the life you both could have together.
He would buy you all of the beautiful dresses for you to wear, show you off with pride, his equal at his side wherever he goes. Men may still lust after you, their wives green with envy, but to Caleb, he couldn’t care, because he knows you are his and his alone.
You would live in a beautiful house, your days filled with idle contentment and no longer have to worry about anything or want for anything. Caleb promises to provide you with everything you could want and more.
When you tell him, though, that he is all that you want, his cheeks tinge pink, but his smile is layered with joy and also…gratitude? He looks at you like you are his whole world, because that’s just how it is: you are his world now. He had never thought he could cherish someone as much as he cherishes you.
A beautiful life awaits you. He asks you to marry him.
For just a moment, you hesitate, and he is confused. He gently questions you, wondering if you have any doubts about his feelings.
“No! Never!” you tell him, and then reluctantly, you reveal that you could still feel that distance in classes between the two of you. You worry about his reputation, and Caleb seems surprised.
He reassures you there is nothing for you to worry about. He can handle whatever happens, and he promises to keep you safe.
You agree to marry him.
Life continues as normal as the two of you plan to run away and elope. He had promised you an extravagant wedding, but you want him now, already wanting to be his wife and he your husband.
This rosy life you are seeing turns grey in an instant, everything grinding to a halt when you start to display symptoms of an unknown illness. You start coughing up blood more often, your body weakened some days to the point you need to be bedridden. Secretly, you hid everything from Caleb, not wanting him to worry.
Caleb starts wising up, realizing something is wrong when you continue to evade his questions or even outrightly avoid meeting him again.
When a physician reveals to you that you only have less than five months to live, you realize that the dream life Caleb promised you would never come true. Not wanting him to bear the pain of seeing you dying, you start to drive a further wedge between the two of you, consciously doing things to make him hate you so he wouldn’t ever have to feel the pain of losing you.
It works.
You fight with him to the point that you’re both yelling and screaming at one another until he loses control of his anger and drives his fist into a wall, scaring you briefly, having never seen this side of him before. He doesn’t want you to see him like this either, so he leaves, leaving you with these bitter harsh words and some bills tossed at you in spite:
“I have paid for my whore. My debt is paid and she is nothing to me.”
When he is out of sight, you fall to the ground sobbing, angry at yourself for doing a good job of driving him away and making him hate your existence. The man you loved is gone, and though it hurts, you still wish he would find someone to replace you, because you still love him with your whole heart and never want him to be alone like this.
Caleb is angry and it shows. The Colonel has always been very disciplined and strict, but everyone has noticed his temper seemed even more short. There is no leniency with him. You mess up, he will make sure you learn from your mistakes. You talk back to him, and it will be your last words in his presence.
He starts to drink more often, wishing to numb his pain, to forget your fights, to forget you. There is no alcohol in the world strong enough to cure him of this heartache. In spite of everything, he still loves you. He replays the memories often, wondering when everything had gone wrong.
One night as he sits at the bar, on his fifth glass of scotch, he pulls out a ring box, opening it to look at the dainty little ring he had secretly chosen for you. It wasn’t a huge diamond, but still perfectly sized, and he knows it would look beautiful on your finger.
He downs his glass, pays his tab, and stumbles out of the bar. He staggers through the streets disoriented, not even thinking clearly of where he is going.
He finds himself at the brothel again, and he scoffs. He goes in, demanding to see you.
The madame there tries to turn him away. She knows who he is, and also knows of his secret relationship with one her girls. She knows what you two had planned, because you had revealed everything to her and begged her to never let him come near you again—for his sake. Always for his sake. Even as you are dying upstairs, each day, you breathing growing weaker, you still think of him.
Caleb doesn’t take “no” for an answer and in his current drunken state, he is more prone to violence than usual, slurring insults about you in spite. It isn’t until one of the other girls screams out that you were dying, that he freezes, sobering up instantly.
“What…did you say?”
His whole world had stopped. The colors drain from his face, his heart slowing as he replays her words in his mind. The dots start to connect as he remembers all of your final fights, realizing your expressions had always seemed off somehow.
His throat is dry, his limbs rigid as he tries to move. Suddenly, he runs off in a mad dash before anyone could stop him. He rushes up the stairs, passing several rooms, pushing anyone in his way to the side until he finds your room, the door bursting open and he freezes again, not recognizing the frail woman laying in bed under multiple covers as a nurse is tending to her.
Caleb doesn’t leave and rushes to your side, dropping to his knees as he reaches for your hand, begging you to look at him. He apologizes profusely, his eyes glistening with tears.
“Why didn’t you tell me?! Why did you lie to me?! Why, why…why…”
His large hands wrapped around yours, holding it close to his face as he sobs.
“Ca..leb…”
He looks up, seeing you smiling at him weakly.
“I’m here,” he assures you, “I’m here…I’m not leaving…Not again…”
Too weak to fight, too relieved to see him, you let him stay and you close your eyes.
He stays by your side for your remaining days, cherishing the little time you had left.
One afternoon as he watches you sleep, he sits on the edge of the bed, his fingers brushing aside your hair, his eyes heavy with sadness as he realizes how frail and pale you are now compared to who you were months earlier. Quietly, he pulls out the ring box, taking the ring out, and slipping it on your ring finger. It looks perfect on you, just like he had known it would.
When you wake that evening and see the ring, you start to protest, saying it’s wasted on you.
He silences you with a kiss, and once again, he reassures you that nothing he does for you is ever wasted effort. You are his only bride, and no one will ever take your place.
Time dwindles, and he watches you waste away each day, his heart heavy with remorse and anger that he is losing you before his very eyes and there is nothing that he can do to stop this. For all of his strength and glory, Caleb has never felt as weak and helpless as he does now.
He tries to fill your days with as much comfort and happiness as he could.
It was a spring afternoon when he lays in bed with you. He leans back against the headboard, your body resting against his, the cover up to your neck for warmth, but nothing felt more comforting than his own body heat against you.
He tells you stories again and as you listen to him, you wonder why his voice sounds more distant even though he is right here next to you.
Caleb watches, realizing, he has lost you, your body growing colder and unresponsive.
He breaks down crying as a warm spring breeze rustles into the room from the opened balcony door. He holds you close to him and just sobs and curses every deity in the world.
He promises in the next life, he will be a better man and give you what you deserve. In the next life, things will go right. The story of you and him will be rewritten, he swears on his life.
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galedekarios · 9 months ago
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gale & karlach
i think out of all the dynamics between the companions, i've come to enjoy gale and karlach the most over my time with the game. karlach especially bc she's the only one who genuinely seems to care about and for gale.
she repeatedly checks in on him after the orb reveal and doesn't turn it into a joke about slurping carrots, or sipping wine, or wanting him to be gone entirely from the group.
not only does she advocate for him to stay three times, depending on which dialogue path you pick:
gale's background story reveal & the reveal about the netherese orb
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Karlach: Come on. We all have our secrets - and our risks. If Gale leaves, we might as well disband completely. - Karlach: Absolutely. We're all risky in our own ways. We stick together anyway. Right? - Karlach: If having dangerous, otherworldly objects stuck in your skin is wrong, then Gale and I both have to go. We're not really splitting up, are we?
but she's also the only one who repeatedly asks him throughout the game how he is doing, to make sure how he's faring, both in general and with his debilitating condition:
act 2 - shadow-cursed lands banter
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Karlach: Doing all right, Gale? Gale: Oh, you know... Still alive and kicking, despite being surrounded on all sides by an endless manifestation of darkness and decay... devnote: Almost with a sigh. That's just how things are - Grim humour to it. Karlach: I feel it too. Here if you need a pick-me-up.
act 3 - after mystra stabilised the orb
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Karlach: How's the orb treating you, Gale? Gale: Oh, quite well as a matter of fact. Since it was stabilised, it's been humming along nicely. Gale: I have noticed one adverse side-effect. I seem to be losing hair in some, er, unexpected places. Karlach: I can only imagine.
i think it really bears repeating/stressing that no other companion does this. not one checks in on gale like karlach does, after his affliction has become known to his companions - with the exception of the protag potentially.
karlach also arguably has the strongest reaction in response to mystra's demands in act 2, showing again her care for gale, as well as her protective side:
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Karlach: Aw, was that Gale's granddad? Player: That was Elminster Aumar - the most famous wizard in the realms. Karlach: Huh. Doesn't ring a bell. But all right! Must've had something important to say to Gale, if he came all this way. Good news, I hope. Player: I don't think it was. It turns out Gale has an explosive bomb in his chest - and Mystra has asked him to use it to blow up the heart of the Absolute. Karlach: Whoa, now. He's got a... well, I guess that would explain a little, but... Mystra... I mean, this is a lot to take in. Karlach: What's he going to do? - Player - Option 1: I think he's going to follow through with it. Karlach: Fuck me. There's devotion, and then there's stupidity. If the god of magic can't handle this without sacrificing Gale, she's no god at all. - Player - Option 2: I don't think he'd do that to himself, even if Mystra commanded it. Karlach: Good. I'm one hundred percent sure there's another way to bring down this cult. No true god would ask such a thing from her faithful. That's for certain. Karlach: Poor Gale. He must be in bits after hearing that. I'll distract him. Tell him I haven't read a book since secondary school, watch his face melt off. - Player - Option 3: I'm not sure. I think he's of several minds. Karlach: Well, tell him to pick the right one. Better yet, I'll do it. Fucking wizards, man! They always need help picking the simple, obvious option. Karlach: If Mystra can't think of another way to stop the Absolute than sacrificing Gale, she's no god worth worshipping. I'll say that to Gale - in, you know, gentle terms. - Player - Option 4: You know that bomb in Gale's chest? Mystra has asked him to use it to explode the heart of the Absolute. Karlach: She what?! Is she mad?! - Player - Option 5: Don't worry about it. Karlach: Karlach doesn't worry, she acts. So if Gale needs me, now's the time to tell me.
i particularly like that last response bc it really echoes throughout her relationship with gale ("karlach doesn't worry, she acts. so if gale needs me, now's the time to tell me.").
their banters are often playful, but also genuine. both karlach and gale tease each other, they joke with each other, showing how comfortable they are with each other despite their many differences, but there are also moments of understanding and care between them, allowing them to emphasise with each other:
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Karlach: Man, it's good to be home. First round on who? Gale: She who thirsts buys drinks the first. devnote: Like it's a well-known saying Karlach: You won't pin me down with a rhyme, wizard! devnote: Jockeying with Gale (prob supposed to be Joking with Gale) Gale: She who declines gets the worst of the wines.
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Karlach: Just when I was getting used to the sky again... Gale: Fear not, Karlach. Sun, moon and stars will still be there waiting for us. devnote: Reassuring Karlach: Meanwhile, this place is pretty spectacular, isn't it? Gale: No book or painting could ever do its strange beauty justice. But perhaps our stories might, when we return to the surface. devnote: Agreeing with Karlach, enjoying the sense of wonder as you explore
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Gale: I've always felt flames to be a rather perfect expression of love, Karlach. Gale: Passionate, primal, capable of bestowing the most life-affirming comfort, or inflicting the profoundest damage. devnote: Listing the qualities of fire, Romantic, indulging in the poetry of the image Karlach: That's... pretty nice. Never thought about it like that. But now I will.
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Karlach: Wouldn't mind a dancing axe of my own. Gale: A simple movement charm wouldn't be too hard to apply to such an object. I could conjure one up for you if you like? Karlach: Yes! I like! Gale: Very wel then. Once the city is saved, Karlach's Kinetic Cleaver will be first on my list.
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Karlach: So, Gale - got any book recommendations for me?devnote: With concern Gale: You can read?! devnote: Taking the piss - knows full well Karlach can read, and that she's always claimed not to enjoy it Karlach: Very funny. Yes - I can read. School put me off big boring tomes. Sometimes I wonder what I'm missing. devnote: Friendly rather than flirtatious Gale: Say no more - I'll find the perfect book for you. I might even lend it to you from my library in Waterdeep. devnote: Jumping on the opportunity to give a book recommendation (a favourite hobby) Karlach: Ooh! Something with magic, please. And no devils.
even at his most vulnerable moments, karlach is there to support him:
before the stormshore tabernacle audience with mystra
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Karlach: You can do this, Gale. And I'll be right here when you're done.
she allows herself to be protective of him and get angry on his behalf not after when it comes to mystra, but also when he is potentially kidnapped by orin:
karlach's reaction to gale being kidnapped
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Karlach: That bloody freak won't get away with this. That's my wizard she took. And we're going to get him back.
once again, it's a good callback to her previous line: "karlach doesn't worry, she acts. so if gale needs me, now's the time to tell me."
she's willing to be needed by him - and he does need her. whether that is as a friend, or (if you chose to play so during an origin pt) as a romantic partner. it's a lovely dynamic either way.
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f1amour · 2 months ago
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Hiya!! Can I pretty please request a blurb that’s both angsty and a lil fluffy?
🍮 Lewis Hamilton - “I’m scared of losing you”
❝ i’m scared of losing you ❞ — lewis hamilton
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pairing | lewis hamilton x reader
content warnings | angst, comfort, age gap mentioned (not specified)
★ navigation | main masterlist
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“lewis is ready for this season to end” “lewis wants a fresh start and it’ll be with ferrari” “seems like hamilton just wants a a fresh start with life in general…does that include his girlfriend?”
the tweets did not stop rolling in and you couldn’t help but get lost in them. you couldn’t help but believe the words many were saying. maybe lewis was over this season, done with mercedes, and maybe he was over you too. he noticed the distance you had put up after the brazil gp. there was a two week break and you had spent it at home trying to relax but that was not possible with your constant checking in on twitter to see what people are saying about you.
you weren’t one to be on your phone so much at least when you had free time with lewis you guys tried your best to be in the moment. so when he came home from taking roscoe on a walk only to find you in the same spot you were in before he left almost two hours ago was concerning. it was concerning enough when you didn’t join them on the walk which you usually do, telling lewis you wanted to stay back and start on dinner. dinner was nowhere to be seen as you say on the barstool in the kitchen phone on in your hands with tears in your eyes.
lewis quickly lets roscoe off his leash and walks to you, “baby, what’s going?” his finger lifts your chin up to look him in the eyes but the tears in your eyes just make him frown. “please talk to me. i’m worried about you.” his soft voice fills your ears as you let him wrap his arms around you giving you a hug you didn’t know you needed until now.
your body shakes shading his as you let all your tears and frustrations out until you finally calm down his hands rub your back as you take deep breaths, “i…i’m scared, lewis. i’m scared of losing you,” you tell him what you’d been feeling for weeks now. lewis was not expecting those words to come out of your mouth. in fact, he felt that he was losing you due to this distance you’d been putting up.
his hands cup your face and gives you a smile that makes you believe your thoughts of losing him were just your imagination, “oh honey, now why would you think that? i can’t imagine my life without you. who told you something?” he asks, knowing damn well you’d never just start having these thoughts for no reason.
you look down at the countertop as you hand him your phone which had your twitter feed full of negativity, “lewis looks over this team and ready for a fresh start either ferrari he probably feels the same in his love life as well, lewis wants to focus on his 8th world championship not shopping for wedding rings for his young girlfriend who brings bad luck—,” lewis stops after the last tweet and looks over at you, your hands covering your face trying to avoid his gaze.
“look at me. plenty of people feel the opposite of these tweets. you got sucked into a thread that is all people who don’t actually support me. my fans, my true fans adore you. maybe even more than me. you’re only a few years younger than me and that isn’t an issue with me, love. i love you. you’ve brought the good luck for me. you bring faith every single race week especially this year where it’s been fucking hell most of the time. i can’t imaging my life without you, ever.” his words soothe your mind despite still feeling a bit anxious from those tweets you realize maybe listening to complete strangers rather than the love of your life wasn’t the best idea. however, lewis always validated your feelings and why you may have gotten lost in the dark side of the media where people aren’t always so accepting of your relationship.
“i’m sorry, lew. shouldn’t have listened to them i just…i don’t know how you deal with everything and still keep your head up. i’m exhausted,” you confess, you were never one to be on social media and read comments unless they were from friends or family. seeing how the last few races have been brutal for lewis you wanted to defend your boyfriend but ended up on the wrong side. “baby, you were with me for 2021. you are probably the only reason i didn’t quit and why i still haven’t. you’ve got faith in me, i hold that very dear to my heart. i’m with you till the end.” his last words make you cry some more but happy tears now as he chuckles at your smile, “there’s my girl. now, let’s take a break from the phone and cook some dinner together.”
he helps you off the stool and you grab his hand turning him back, “i love you too.” you pull him into a kiss and all lewis could think about is the engagement ring hiding under roscoe’s bed ready to make an appearance once the season is over.
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weneeya · 11 months ago
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Hear me outttttttttt
the Gojo scene with Hanami.. but imagine him being that unhinged and pissed because someone touched you.. like 🥴 Please bless us with your work with this!! I’m begging
overprotective m.list | rules
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pairing. gojo x reader
note. ur brain 🤝 my brain I've literally thought about this a thousand times omg thank u for requesting this
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You were supposed to be alone on this mission. Everyone had faith in you and they were right to think that way: you were a strong sorcerer. But Satoru had a bad feeling about it. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe in you, in fact he was probably the one who believed in you the most ; but something was off and he couldn’t find what. 
He couldn’t just follow you there, because he knew it would hurt you. You were an overthinker and he didn’t want to put this weight on your mind. So he simply waited for you to come back to Jujutsu Tech, still worried that something could go wrong. 
The first thing that got him out of his mind was his phone ringing. When he saw your name, his heart skipped a beat. It was unusual from you to call him in the middle of a mission, especially as hard as this one. He didn’t hesitate before he picked up the phone. When he heard your trembling voice asking for help, the world stopped around him. Nothing else mattered or even existed right now, except you. 
He had never been this fast in his entire life before. He knew where you were for the mission, so he didn’t have to ask anyone else to come with him. He didn’t need anyone actually, because he was going to destroy the thing that touched you all by himself. 
When he finally arrived where you were, he really thought about going crazy. You were almost on the floor, as way too much blood was leaving your body. You were so pale, he could tell that you were just about to pass out. He reached your height in a second, carrying you to put you on the floor behind him, where you would be safe. He left a kiss on your forehead, sounding way too calm for it to be normal. 
“It’s okay, my love. Stay awake, it’s gonna be quick.” he sounded so soft to your ears, as you closed your eyes and finally breathed again. Everything was going to be fine now that he was here, you knew it. 
When Satoru stood up again, facing the creature that did that to you, a smile appeared on his lips. The last time he felt this angry, he was completely out of control. The only thing that was able to calm him down was when he was sure that his opponent had suffered twice more than what he had done. And this one, it hurted you ; so it needed to suffer even more. His piercing blue eyes were looking at the curse who soon rushed on the exorcist. 
Or at least it tried to. The curse was quickly stopped in his movement, not able to move at all. As it started to panic, trying to fight back, Satoru kind of appeared in front of it. His psycho smile was even more terrifying than before as he slowly tilted his head to the side. 
“Now, we can play,” was the last thing you heard before losing consciousness. The sight of Satoru being feral like this worried you a little, because you knew the man was unstoppable when he was like this. But at the same time, you knew that the mission was going to be handled just right. There was nothing to worry about anymore.
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OMG FERAL GOJO he's really driving me crazy I don't even have the words anymore with this man
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powermakar · 11 months ago
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This is me Trying - LS2
A/N: I feel so bad for Logan after what has happened. Please don't send any type of hate to Alex.
Summary: James tells Logan that he won't be racing on Sunday and everything goes down hill.
Logan Sergeant x female!reader
Warnings: panic attacks and some swearing
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I just wanted you to know that this is me trying, at least I'm trying. 
“-so you won’t be able to drive this weekend” 
“What?” 
“Alex is going to be driving your car this weekend since his car is severely damaged.”
“Oh, okay,” Logan felt numb. He couldn’t feel his hands shaking, but he could see them physically shaking. 
“I know it’s a lot but the team really needs this Logan. Thank you for doing this,” James said before walking off. 
Logan began to feel himself lose touch with reality. It was a feeling he was beginning to feel comfortable with. I mean at this point it was happening every race weekend now, so he just HAD to get comfortable with it. At first, he didn’t know what it was, maybe he was just getting sick; but after a few times and some Google searches, he figured out what it was. 
Panic attacks. 
No one knew that he experienced them. Not James, not his trainer, not Oscar; hell, his own girlfriend did not know that he got them. He had to get out of there fast so no one found out. God, he couldn't even imagine what the media would do if it became public knowledge. 
Tears and ragged breaths while hidden in the corners of his driver’s room became his go-to when he didn’t know what else to do. This time it felt different though. The sobs were louder and his vision was blurrier, he felt weak. He felt stupid. How could someone fuck up so badly and he still would get punished. He knew life wasn’t fair and he knew that Formula 1 wasn’t fair either. 
But fuck, it wasn’t fair. At all. 
The knock on the door did not register the first time, nor the second or third. He only realized someone entered the room when he felt someone’s hand on his shoulder. 
You, the love of his life, was seeing him at the lowest he had ever been. Gasps in between sobs were loud and short, and Logan felt embarrassed. He felt shameful and afraid. He couldn’t breathe and he was scared for his future. 
“It’s not fair, it's not fair, it’s just not fucking fair. I'm trying. I’m trying so fucking hard. Can’t you see that? Can’t anyone see that,” he babbled out. 
“Logan I- I know that this is hard, you worked so hard. You deserve to be driving, you shouldn’t be placed on the back burner because someone made a mistake. You’ve worked so hard for so long and it kills me to see you like this. Have you thought about how Alex may-,” Logan cut you off before you could say anything else. 
“No, no. Do not even start with Alex. I know he’s better, I know I am a liability, but I know I can try to be better,” he got up suddenly. He felt lightheaded, he felt dizzy. Stumbling around his room trying to get away from you. “I finally out-performed him and it just gets ripped out from underneath me. Literally,” Logan laughs bitterly. He didn’t care what he looked like now, he probably looked like a madman, but who the hell cares anymore?
“Logan- please just listen to me. Alex probably feels like shit. Yes he crashed his car but it's not his fault the team gave him your car. It's the team,” she pauses “It’s- it’s James’ fault.” 
“I don’t care whose fault it is. I just care about the fact that this is probably going to be one of the last times I'm going to be in F1. My time is going to get cut short, no one has any faith in me anymore. I don’t blame them though, I’m failing and I'm terrified,” Logan says. He could finally breathe normally but he could still feel his heart pounding in his ears. 
He didn’t understand any of it. How could he be failing so badly at something he used to be so good at? He glanced back at you, ready to face the disappointment he knew you secretly hid. 
“Just tell me you can’t stand me anymore. Tell me that I embarrass you. Tell me that you hate me. Tell me that you are disappointed in me. Please just tell me, please.”
“Logan-,” you were in shock. You never knew that he felt like this, about himself. He hid it so well, almost to the point where it was impressive. “You know I could never say any of those things to you. I love you so, so much and I'm so proud of you,”
Both of you heard a knock on the door and one of William’s PR managers called out, “Media in 10, Logan!”
How they expected him to go out into the media pen and act like everything was fine was beyond you. Reaching up to cup his face in your hands, you quickly wipe away a stray tear that fell at your confession. Logan gently squeezed your wrist and smiled sadly. A silent, but meaningful conversation.
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onskepa · 1 year ago
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Yay requests are open!
What about a platonic Ronal x scientist? Yes they study the planet but ronal cannot help but like them because they respect the culture, her medical skills and only seems to find the silver lining in her stiff comments. Like come on human I am trying to make you leave through the power of rude and you just gave me a freidnship bracelet? Wtf I imagine tonowari just snickering every night as she complains about her new best friend
Hellooooooooo darling~!!
Yes! Another ronal fic! Thank you for requesting and I hope this cute fic will satisfy you and everyone else! Enjoy~!
Irayo pt2
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Irayo
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“You are good to go, if anything goes wrong or if they are not very welcoming, just say the word and we will get you” the head director of the ocean na’vi program says. In front of him was the new girl. Determined and open minded to learn new things, and was given the ultimate task. 
Make the first human contact with the reef na’vi. 
Nodding in excitement, the new recruit gets into a canoe with her prepared items. Making sure she is set for sail, she looks at her comrades. “I will let you know everything. Hopefully, this can go well. If doctor Agustine has faith in us, we can't lose” she says with optimus in her voice. 
Saying her last farewell, she sets off to the Metkayina island. 
“This will be good, I can feel it!”
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She arrives at the island, her eyes in awe as she gets closer to the shore. So many na’vi! They all stare at her, many in fear, others in curiosity, and many ready to fight her. Raising her hands, she gets out from her canoe and displays she is of no harm. 
“I come in peace, I bring no harm” the human girl announces in perfect, fluent na’vi. 
Many, from what she suspects are warriors, stare at her in surprise. 
“You are a sky demon! Leave or we will not be easy on you!” one of the warriors warned her. Another warrior follows after. 
“We heard what you did with the forest na’vi, leave! You only bring death and sorrow wherever you go”. 
The tension was building fast among the other people. Mothers protecting their children, might warriors standing in front of the weak. Any wrong move and she might end up dead. Which is a high factor. 
The crowd breaks as two significant looking na’vi walks through, from how they are dressed and the others willing to step aside, the human knew exactly who they were. 
And it gave her excitement. Already the first and she is seeing so much! 
The human was quick with the traditional na’vi greeting of “I see you”. In hopes that the tension can lessen if she displays their ways. 
The Tsahik and Olo’eyktan looked at her carefully. Observing her every move and detail. Small hint of disgust but also confusion as to why a human is here. 
“Hello, I bring no harm. I am here to learn your ways. Allow me to prove myself to you, perhaps you have heard of the dark stories of what the humans did to other na’vi, but I promise you that I only bring peace. Please, teach me your ways”. 
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Ronal doesn't know what or how or even why. But after a lengthy discussion with Tonowari, they granted the human permission to enter their home. And learn their ways. As best a human can learn. While Tonowari was more loose on letting the human in, Ronal felt different, at first she came defensive and was always on alert should the human do something that seems bad under her eyes. 
But the human was aware where the line drew, only did what she was allowed to and dared not to push boundaries. Ronal wasn't making it any easier for the human. None whatsoever. In fact, Ronal planned to make things so difficult for the human that she would have no other choice but to leave. 
Now if only it worked that, and not Ronal making it harder for herself. 
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 “Put more strength in your arms. It must be thinned out and easy to separate. Any thicker and it will be difficult to mix” Ronal instructed the human with a harsh tone. She was teaching the human how to make crushed, thin, dust-like green material. Very dry leaves that were thoroughly picked from their small forest.
The human woman smiled and obeyed, “alright tsahik”. Doing exactly what she is being told. That is the thing that irks ronal. The human doesn't fight back. She doesn't do anything! 
“A child can do a better job than you,” Ronal says with a snarky tone. The human just takes it, “I don't doubt it. This is more of their ways” the human replies with such calmness in her voice. Not a hint of anger, impatience, nothing. 
“Dont think this will be enough, there is still much more to grind down” Ronal says, as she places a lot more dried grass in the already big pile. The human stops for a few seconds to look at the bigger addition. Ronal smirks, surely this will be it? “Guess I better grind faster to finish all of these” the human says in glee and continues to grind. 
Ronal’s smirk left her lips, fine then. Tomorrow will be worse. 
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Harsher insults, harsher training, harsher practice. Ronal threw everything at the human, but nothing breaks the human girl. And it infuriates her to the core. Why wasn't she fighting back? Why was she accepting everything? Why was she letting ronal belittle her? 
Ronal’s anger grew to where Tonowari had to enterfier. 
“Ronal, perhaps you are pushing her too far?” he asks her one day. Ronal scoffs as she does her small tasks in their home. “The human can bare it. Anything I give her, she accepts. That utter fool” she replies. Annoyance heavy on her tone. “She won't break so easily. Not made of sea glass” she continues. 
Tonowari sighs, walks up to her and places a hand on her shoulder. “Perhaps not, but your tolerance is thinner than these fibers. Perhaps by surprise, it will be you who will break first”. 
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The human began to make and wear her na’vi like clothing to fit in more. And as she talked more with the other clan members, more began to welcome her with open arms and even into their homes. Adapting more into their culture and ways of life. They began to accept her. 
Ronal wasn't so ready to accept the human. 
Not yet at least. 
One night, after the communal dinner, Ronal took the human away from the noise and into a more quiet part of the small forest. Yet, along the way, the human not once asked where they were going. Never questioned ronal’s actions, her odd behavior. Nothing. 
When they arrived at a beautiful blue glowing waterfall, Ronal kept a bit of distance from the human. 
“Tell me human, why do you accept?” Ronal asks after a few minutes of silence. 
The human blinked once, “accept what tsahik?”. 
Hissing in frustration, Ronal turns to look at the human in anger. 
“Why do you accept everything?! I keep pushing you to do beyond what you physically can. Accept any insulting word I give you. Force you to do things clearly you are not very comfortable with. Why do you accept my harsh treatment towards you?” 
The human sees Ronal and sees how she truly feels. Taking a deep breath, relaxing her shoulders, the human does what she does best. 
Give her an honest smile. 
“You have every right to treat me that way. While I am not personally responsible for the thousands of killings of the na’vi, I still feel ashamed and guilty as if it were my own crimes. My kind has treated your kind terribly. So, I understand if you feel any anger or hatred towards me for simply being human. But I accept, I accept it all. If it means to be part of your world, your clan. I would gladly accept anything you throw at me. This is a dream come true for me. This planet, the life it holds. The environments, plants, animals, you. I love and respect everything about your world. All I desire is to learn how things are. From learning about Eywa to learning of the na’vi ways. My only desire is to learn. To have you personally teach me, it is a high luck I could never get anywhere else. So that is why I accept all that you give me. A price to pay for the things I can see and experience. So Tsahik, that is why I accept it. As my way to thank you” 
Ronal saw the human, looking deep into her eyes to detect any lies, but all she saw was the truth. 
“You fool…”
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“Irayo, just in time for breakfast” Ronal welcomes her human friend. Irayo, that is what Ronal calls her ever since that night. It's been stuck to her ever since, not that she plans to defy the tsahik wishes. 
Irayo sits in the home of ronal and tonowari. Accepting the food, she begins to eat. But not soon after, she felt a little tug from her wrist. Looking down, Irayo sees little tsireya playfully tugging at her bracelet. Taking it off, she hands it to tsireya who tries to bite down on it. 
“Has tsireya began teething?” Irayo asks, ronal nods but gives a disapproving look.
“She will rip off the beads. You worked so hard to make it for us” Ronal says as she points to her own matching bracelet. Irayo laughs, “that is fine. It will give me an excuse to make better friendship brackets for us. I will even make another for cute little tsreiya” Irayo replies as she playfully pinches tsireya’s chubby cheeks, making the child squeal in delight. 
Tonowari sits down to join them. 
“Today irayo and I will attend to the elderly, tsireya will be under your care until noon” Ronal says to him. 
Tonowari nods, but couldn't help but smirk a bit. Leaning in, he whispers into Ronal’s ear. “Your friendship with irayo has improved greatly. I still remember when you called her many foolish names”. 
Ronal rolls her eyes and taps his forehead lightly. 
“I recall no such things. Irayo has been my good friend from the start”
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Aaaaaaaaand that is all for this one! I hope you all enjoyed this fic! Until next time, see ya!
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Irayo = Thank you
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qvrcll · 1 year ago
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nsfw, fem reader + borderline phone sex
teasing coriolanus snow through a line whilst he’s out parading himself as a peacekeeper with new responsibilities and goals? absolutely.
the ordeal is messy at first. you’re not sure if this is a good idea in the first place (considering the whole good man act he’s piecing together to get back to the capitol, so fragile already) but what is there to lose? you miss him terribly and on the off-chance, you get to catch him off guard, much to his dismay.
so, it starts.
“snow, there’s a caller out for you,” a stone faced peacekeeper yells, voice like gravel. really, not a mouth for conversation, so snow goes as much as to nod before reaching the relevant station. his hands are clammy, oddly, and he wishes the call were from back home. tigris, grand’maam… you.
you, who has kept his faith in this place with just images in his mind. memories.
but to hope is to lose and to lose is beneath him - so, snow keeps his wits about him. he finds a seat and sticks to it like glue, spreading his back and finding space for his feet as the machine ahead whirrs gently. there’s no one here at this point of time - calls are short and rare, which reminds him to not bide his time too much, to not panic and, admittedly, he’s never felt his heart in his throat until now.
“hello?” his voice is crisp, weak in its echo.
there’s cracking on the other end, before a face blends within the static, a smile already tinged in the viewer’s feedback. teeth he recognises by sight alone, smile he recognises by warmth alone.
it’s you.
“coryo? god, is this thing working?” you gasp, and he would laugh if the urge to have you wasn’t overwhelming his senses. his nose was already twitching, reddening with an onslaught of emotions as he could hear your words transmitting clearly over the machine’s whirr, “oh my god! coryo!”
the two of you break into smiles and he can sense you on the cusp of tears - not that strange, knowing he’s been away from you for far longer than he ever has. the remedy is always sweet: he coos at you, reassures you.
“have you been crying? what, you missed me?” he asks, clutching the receiver tighter and then loosening his grip a little. there’s a smile in his voice, but you can already see it.
you shift, curling the telephone cord around your finger and nodding, “of course i’ve missed you, coryo. have been missing you so much,” your voice is dripping with the spell of his absence, to which snow sadly smiles at. of course you’d been missing him.
but then, something slips up. time, his breath or the strap of the slip you’re wearing - pretty pink, a rememberable flush of salmon that hugs your body firmly, from what he can see. he almost misses it, almost chooses to focus on the wall nearby instead, out of courtesy. because it was surely a mistake, a little slip up (ironically). but when you fail to pull it up, instead staring at him like he was the loon here, he clears his throat.
“w… well, how have you been?”
“good.” (did you just scoot closer or did he imagine that?)
“how’d tigris… (cough) been?”
“she’s great.” (okay, your thigh definitely hitched up on purpose.)
two questions and he’s already losing his mind. he knows there are no others in the room, but he feels wholly lost, a string of yarn being pushed against nimble fingers - and when he finally looks at you, a warning painted in those azure eyes, he can finally see what you’re getting at. your face is prettily composed, like he remembers, but there’s heat in your shoulders. an ache that he wants to get beneath, curl against his fingers.
he steels himself, gripping the receiver harder and feeling his jaw tighten under the effort of staying calm, “what are you doing?”
you act dumb, of course. there’s that smile - same as before. sickly sweet and barely squashed off of your face as you stare at him, “doing what, coryo?”
“you don’t think i’m dumb, do you? i can see what you’re trying and it’s-“ he casts a wary look behind his shoulder, and spots no one, not a soul, “it’s unfair.”
“unfair?”
“precisely.”
“is this unfair too?”
before he can even squint at that, ask you what exactly you mean, you do your worst: drop the slip and reveal what’s beneath. the skin of your chest is as he remembers, your fingers skirting against your nipples. it all makes his leg jump, his heart clinch uncomfortably under all those bones and all that blood. he’s already hissing, moving closer.
“what the hell are you doing?” he asks, though there’s no malice in his voice. no reprimand. just a small fear and a large amount of desire that spills into a small whimper when you lean back and have the decency to lower your fingers past your belly and beneath.
“i missed you coryo,” you practically eat the words, moaning softly into the receiver as you work yourself open until it’s quite enough. but it never is - you know this and so does snow. one of his many faults, his dexterity that is - pretty, nimble fingers that reach parts of you that need teasing, pushing. fingers that go farther and don’t come back until you’ve had your fill. but you’re making do with what you have and that’s partly why he grits his teeth.
he knows he can do it better.
“talk to me,” he licks a stripe against his lips, eyes zoning in on you. he can’t see below for certain, but with the soft sounds that leave you, he’s plenty satisfied. besides, the thought of those stone faced peace-keepers stepping in and taking an eyeful of you gets him angrier than he would like to be, “how does it feel? good? better than mine?”
“no, no, never-“ you gasp, craning your head backwards and angling your body so you’re resting your weight on your free elbow, “never, coryo - ah - you’re better. need your fingers.”
he feels a strain in his pants. a pain is forming in his dick and the blood is rushing soon down, and he knows this is unruly. unadjustable. he could lose his position. but maybe that’s the thrill in it, isn’t it? closing an eye to his duties is rather easy, and as he palms his dick through the svelte material, the groan that leaves him is inarticulate and roughly pushed out of his throat.
“poor thing needs me all the time, don’t you?” he gasps, palm catching on that sensitive area down below, “have you been doing this - fuck - since i’ve been away?”
he spreads his legs, palming harder and somehow, messier. though the static betrays him, the feedback in the device in front of him does him wonders: your face, contorted just the way he loves it, your fingers inventing some thick, loud sound the more you work your way into your cunt, the weight of your release hung above the two of you like a threat.
“just my fingers - ah - been using ‘em” you cry out, voice high suddenly, “miss you so much. i can’t do this. i need you here - ngh - coryo!”
the noise that leaves you is heavy and it hits him so hard his dick throbs in his pants, so he presses harder onto the muscle and moans painfully slow.
“shit - miss you so much, sweetheart,” he picks up his ordinary pace, “when i’m back home, i’ll give it to you good.”
“promise?”
“fuck - i promise.”
the seconds of orgasm are embarrassing. he clutches the screen and stares open-mouthed at you. wishes he could kiss every bend and curve, every dot and line, but as soon as he feels himself about to spill into his pants, the line cuts. there’s a darkness washing over the screen and he can no longer hear your voice through the wasted receiver.
it clicks - those stupid call times. he’d probably used all his minutes.
he clenches his fist and loosens it up, tossing the receiver back into its apt position. and as much as he is exasperated as he is disconcerted, he composes himself.
several minutes later, a peace-keeper enters. stone faced and dull, just as he remembers them.
“time’s up, snow. get back to your room.”
snow nods, pinching one look at the dark screen of the feed before walking out. as he steers clear of the room, a thought occurs: he better get back home quick so he can fill you up the way you both like best.
(requests for snow / tbosas are open!)
© 2023 qvrcll. do not repost any of my works on any platform.
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islandofsages · 1 year ago
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Hey ! I wanted to request a Ignihyde!Male!Reader that look like a little like Grim ? Like, they have the same ears and tail, the same fire (even if the reader controls his fire better than Grim) and people think they are from the same family/are connect ?
Just Grim and Reader looking at each other and asking to themselves if they have just meet their secret brother, and Ace, Deuce, Ortho, Idia and parental figure!Trein being confused to their friend (Grim for Adeuce, Reader for Ortho and Idia) having (a possible) brother.
(Ignore it if you don't want to write it)
Have a good day.
characters: ace, deuce, the shroud brothers and trein x male ignihyde reader
tags: platonic, fluff, imagines + scenario format; implication of yuu, mention of azul
warnings: nothing
author's notes: sorry this took a while! and that i strayed a bit again help. hope you like this <3
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You’re one of the only beastmen in Ignihyde - and you’re okay with that. It gets a little lonely at times but that’s nothing new for an Ignihyde student. People mind their own business, you mind yours. And the only friends you have, in this case the Shroud brothers, basically forget that you’re different from the others. Days are hardly interesting, despite the college’s many atrocities - or maybe because, and now you’re desensitized.
Until one day, you spot a creature, all feline-like and sitting on someone’s shoulder. Okay, not the weirdest thing you’ve seen at NRC so far, so you’re about to shrug it off. Then you see it; a tail and a pair of ears that are eerily similar to your own. What’s next, it can manipulate fire as freely as you do?
“Hey guys, I’ve got a new trick up my sleeve. Watch this!”
One thing you didn’t expect for it to have something in common with you is that it can talk. Though maybe you should be less surprised, considering even the paintings on the walls can talk in this place. But still. You forget that you should be expecting something from the words it just spouted and are caught off guard when it starts spewing fire next. This creature is way too talented at throwing out stuff from its mouth, you think as you jump out of the way just in time to avoid being burnt to a crisp.
“Grim, you can’t just spit fire whenever you want to! We’ve been over this!”
A redheaded student in front of you starts to scold the creature whose name is Grim apparently. He looks familiar but you can’t quite put your finger on it-
“You’re just jealous, Ace.”
Oh, you feel like Idia’s talked about this Ace person before. He described him as “crafty” and seemed to think of him as some sneaky extrovert but you’ve learnt to not put much faith in Idia’s descriptions of other people. No offense to your friend but at least he’s somewhat self-aware of how anxious he gets around others.
“I definitely am not??? This is the same thing that almost got us expelled, you know!”
You feel like you may also have heard of a group of first years almost getting expelled until they somehow got their hands on a magestone the headmage told them to get, as if you can just swing by a store and buy one. You know how hopeless Headmage Crowley and dumping a lot of work on a bunch of freshmen is in character but you can't help but feel disappointed anyway.
“I can’t believe I’m saying this but I agree. You really have to learn how to keep your pride in check…”
Another student, blue-haired and you assume is Ace’s friend, chimes in on the scolding. The student whose shoulder Grim has made himself at home only shook their head, most likely accustomed to his behavior. You watch them bicker as you ruminate on the resemblance of that strange creature to you.
After a few minutes of thinking (and walking so that you don't lose them), you decide that the fact that you were almost a victim of Grim’s flames is strong enough of an excuse to allow you to approach the friend group.
“Hey. You four.”
They turn around to notice you finally (though you can hardly blame them – save for Idia and his glow-in-the-dark-esque hair, Ignihyde students are not noticed as much). It takes them a second to realize that you're no ordinary student. When they do, their jaws fall open, letting out a wild “Huh?!”.
Grim himself jumps off the quiet student's shoulder and stands on his two feet. The day is getting crazier and crazier the longer you entertain this coincidence. He then points at you and begins his bullshit-spewing again.
“W-Who are you?! And why do you look like me?!”
You should be asking the same questions right now but the lack of answers for them makes any word on the tip of your tongue die before they can escape. Plus, the way he's saying his words sound more accusatory than you’d like to admit.
“Don’t look at me! I'm just like this!”
Grim doesn't seem satisfied by your answer and honestly, you can't blame him. You both are quite confused by what's happening at the moment. You two resort to unconsciously recreating the two-Spidermen-pointing-at-each-other meme. The other three students also seem to be at a loss from what they're witnessing.
Ace Trappola
He would laugh at Grim and point out how he's not special anymore but he's too stunned to even say anything (at least for now)
He looks you up and down again then pinches himself to make sure he’s not hallucinating
He feels like he should be less surprised and that the uncanny resemblance could just be passed off as a coincidence but he has to admit, seeing you two as not brothers may prove to be a little difficult for him
He gets used to you two over time and stops questioning it altogether. Sometimes he even forgets
At times, he’d poke fun at Grim and say how you two are way too different personality-wise to even be correlated in some way
But deep down, he’s happy for Grim he found someone similar to him 
He won’t say that aloud obviously.
Deuce Spade
His eyes dart from you to Grim then you again. This goes on for a minute
He almost asks you if you can also breathe fire so recklessly
He ends up interrogating you, like a parent doing a background check on the friend you just brought home
Sooner or later, he concludes that you two are “bros”, despite not having the same feline characteristics
He’s glad Grim found his long-lost brother (he gets a smack from Grim for this)
He would notice how Grim’s smiles oftentimes are wider when you’re around, probably feeling some kind of kinship with you
And he gets that - since you all are “bros” now, he’s more than willing to have your backs now
After sorting things out with the freshmen, you return to your cave like the nerd that you are, feeling more exhausted than usual. To your surprise, you also return to two nerds being in said cave. A Shroud brothers ambush is not something that happens too often.
“Hey (Y/N). We decided that your place needs trashing. Also Ortho wants to try out this new game he found but it needs at least three players.”
Sounds about right. The geeks are geeking out as usual, just at your place this time. But you need them to hear about how crazy today was. You open your mouth to say something-
“I tried to convince him to get Azul but you know how stubborn my brother is.”
Ortho cuts you off and you force a nervous chuckle as a response. You agree but you should really get this off your chest-
“Hm? Did you guys hear something~?”
Idia teases and it brings a genuine laugh out of you and Ortho. Then you take a deep breath and release it. Third time’s the charm, right? You try again.
“Listen, you two. You wouldn’t believe what happened today.”
They perk right up at the promise of gossip (specifically, gossip related to you). You jump a bit from the excitement, finally glad you got their attention. Your hands start to gesture while you tell today’s story.
“I found this… cat. His name is Grim? He has the exact same ears and tail that I do! And he can breathe fire too! Except he does it with no regards to his surroundings whatsoever. That’s kinda concerning.”
Idia Shroud
“You saw wittle Gwimmy??? Man, I’m so jealous… I’ve been in need of some cat therapy for a while now…”
By the sound of it, he already knows who he is. You gasp dramatically at this, feeling betrayed at the fact he never told you about him
He tells you to chill and simply excuse that he didn’t think it was that important or anything
Of course, at first he was shocked but then he pondered about the coincidence - concluded that weirder things have happened and can happen
You’re unamused by this but it is very Idia. You suppose if you have a curse where it burns blot in your body nothing can really be seen as weird
Still, he entertains the possibility of you having a non-human distant cousin
If he isn’t already so nerdy, it feels like he’s growing a second brain trying to theorize what your relation to Grim is…
Ortho Shroud
Also already knows who he is. This truly is a Shroud brothers ambush… of betrayal at that
Theatrics aside, you try to pry him for further information and maybe explain how you and Grim may be related
“Sorry (Y/N), I’d love to help but Grim has been avoiding both of us for a while now. Whether that’s intentional or not, I’m not sure, but I sure wish I was with you when you ran into him. I’m sure I could’ve gotten some valuable information from him!”
You have your doubts about that.
While you keep things to yourself, Ortho provides you with Grim’s surface level information - which is basically nothing
So you two vow to get closer to Grim; even with the ulterior motive, it doesn’t hurt to have more friends Idia would beg to differ
Grim-like traits aside, it’ll be eye-opening to him to see if you two are similar in any regard at all - whether it be from your healing presence to your dazzling smile.
The next morning, you walk to your first class of the day: History of Magic. A fairly interesting class regardless of your stance on the subject. Professor Trein goes on and on about something, you write things down in your notebook. Your eyes are on Lucius for half of the class too. Your mind is still stuck on the events of yesterday. You feel like you’d be reminded of Grim any time you lay your eyes on anything feline - including yourself.
At last, class is dismissed. As much as you enjoy the class and genuinely like Professor Trein, you can’t help but feel that classes are dragged out way too much in this college. You pack up your things and you leave around the same time the professor does. So when Grim comes running and tackles you to the hallway floor, he’s there to witness it all.
“Hey twin! Wanna have lunch with us later? You’ll be seating with us cool kids!”
As you try to regain your composure over being literally knocked over and the fact that Grim has already warmed up to you, Professor Trein attempts to comprehend the scene unfolding before him.
Mozus Trein
Yes, of course he needs to scold Grim over misbehaving for the umpteenth time that week, but he’s also in awe of how… similar you and Grim look.
If he’s seen either of you before, whether in vicinity of each other or not, he’s never noticed blame it on the old grandpa eyes
People (and creatures now too, accounting for Grim’s being here) of your traits and abilities are far and few between
As much as he’d like to inquire you two on your ancestries (and their possible connection), he does respect your privacy
He always liked having you in his class but now, he finds himself looking out for you more often, a way to put his energy from his curiosity about you into something else
He’d ask you about your day and jokingly ask how your relationship with your long-lost brother is doing as if he’s not acting like a dad himself
Needless to say, he’s definitely your favorite teacher now.
You accept Grim’s offer for whatever reason and have lunch with the “cool kids”. You feel a little out of place at first, hanging out with people who aren’t the Shrouds, but then you start having lunch with them every other day. Then you start visiting Ramshackle Dorm where Grim is staying and spend time with the others there. At some point, you brought the Shrouds along and they would bring their games.
Suddenly, you know a lot of people. You think to yourself how crazy friendships start. You go from not knowing their name to knowing what they named their pet rock when they were a child. And in Grim’s case, you went from pointing at each other confusingly to pointing at each other for stealing each other’s food.
For the record, he definitely stole your pudding first.
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starryglitterdreams · 1 year ago
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my understanding of "the state of the wish fulfilled":
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you completely accept that you already have what you want in your imagination (4d).
you have absolute faith/trust in your 4d, so much that you stick to it like glue.
you'll be so damn confident in yourself (the inner man) that nothing can literally shake you. and when i say nothing, nothing. not even the 3d; circumstances, logic, time, or intrusive thoughts.
you literally don't falter at all because of the absolute faith you put into your imagination. when you see the 3d you go like "uhm ok whatever, it's not final anyway lmao it will bend and shift according to my imagination (4d)" basically you're unbothered, literally.
you may even be so engrossed in your imagination because of how good it feels that you don't even care about what you see in the 3d anymore.
naturally, negative or intrusive thoughts will disappear because you already have everything you want. it doesn't make "sense" for you to question something that you already possess??
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also if you are "trying" to manifest your desires right now, i believe in you. you got this. you can do this! i know that circumstances can be hard and that it's annoying because it's in your face. but to that i say, what do you have to lose when you can simply look inwards to your imagination and fulfil yourself there?
i highly recommend reading jani's post here on the state of the wish fulfilled if you're still doubting yourself!
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etherfabric · 7 months ago
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Which part of you wants to be felt? + Affirmations
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Choose a pile by which picture you resonate with the most.
If your mind is too busy to clearly decide, take a few deep breaths, and use the finger of your non-dominant hand to hover over the images. One will give off the most subtle yet prominent signals, like tingles, a magnetic pull, or temperature. This is your pile. Multiples are also possible.
You have free will. I merely provide my perspective in these readings. Sometimes the Universe lines you up with something that doesn't resonate with your truth, so you have contrast to find out what does.
Pile 1
Death, Wheel of Fortune
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The part of you that wants to be felt is your optimism. This feels to you like putting a boulder on a butterfly - dooming it from the beginning. You lost all trust in your right and ability to imagine good scenarios. Anytime one creeps up to you, you swat it away like an insect carrying a disease. True, you had to face some dark truths about the world and yourself - but don't forget why you started this process: You wanted to be happy and healthy again.
This means recalibrating your focus on what is good and fun. Things that make you glad to be alive. Even if you will fear losing them all over again. But if the past taught you one thing, it should be your ability to stand up and rebuild, right? You and your skills are the secret ingredient. You can afford risks. You are abundant in your ability to find the next good thing. Looking back at all you lost, doesn't it make sense? Didn't it make room for all this, that is so much more you? Whatever loss you will have to face in the future will just be the predecessor of an even further upgrade. Don't wait for guarantees. Seize what you have now, and trust in divine timings. You will get your fill. But you have to give access to your cup first.
Your affirmation is:
I am aware that being happy means I am on the right path.
Pile 2
5 of Wands rx, The Fool rx
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The part of you that wants to be felt is your willingness towards repair after conflict. I know there have been countless occassions where you were the "stupid" one to extend a peaceful hand first, only for it to be slapped away, or used to pull you down even further. No one deserves that, you included. While we can't expect a foolproof (eheh, because of the Fool, get it? ...sorry) guarantee to always have the right timing with our peace offers, it's still worth a try. I feel this resentment towards yourself for being even able to do that. "Not this idiot again getting us hurt even further after a fight." But this idiot is exactly the one who will bring you closer to those who actually just had a bad day when they hurt you. Who truly wished things would have been different. And are probably desperate to reconnect, but just don't know where to even begin. You do. Dare to risk it again.
It might bring up old pain that feels unbearable, but remind yourself (if you can) that you are much more powerful than in the past, where those low blows were truly devastating. They will never feel nice, but if you let them be a reason to never get close to someone again, you run the risk of being lonelier than you'd realistically have to be. The malicious intent you feel might be a remnant from unprocessed hurt, instead of a reliable source of purely present information. Let the dust settle and reassess the situation. If in the calm, this still feels like war, and you worked through your shadow to see clearer, then by all means, please leave. But don't destroy something good because it touched a sore spot.
Your affirmation is:
My capability to show my true feelings is always a step towards love and life.
Pile 3
The Star, 2 of Swords rx
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The part of you that wants to be felt is your faith, to be more precise, your confidence in being worthy of having faith. You are still on the fence with a lot of big and small things regarding it. You feel like you just started consciously allowing yourself to even entertain that dimension of existence, that there might be more than the eye can see, that science and logic don't paint the whole picture. Even reading that sentence felt kind of... wrong, right? That's actually super normal. This image of sudden enlightenment, never waivering in one's beliefs and always flowing on a cloud of omniscience and serenity is a product sold to us. To keep us discouraged from our inner strength and voice, and assign our own power to supposedly better people than us. "I am having doubts, I feel kinda silly doing this sometimes, I forget a lot of the practices, I do it haphazardly, I don't cleanse/pray/meditate/worship/offer/affirm enough, or do it the wrong way..." And then we feel guilty when we turn towards our faith in times of desperation and hopelessness, despite our "lousy performance".
Pardon my french, but cut that shit out. You are worthy. You are a spiritual being, point blank, whether you are in a ceremonial robe humming psalms or sitting on your toilet watching TikTok. Performance doesn't determine relevance. Performance or lack thereof will never be able to erase the deep truth you already tapped into. You discovered your spiritual side, but not in lieu to your physical, logical self - no one wants you to abandon or replace anything. It's an addition for the spaces 3D can't fill. The times you turn towards it are exactly the times you should. Give yourself grace and patience to let this gigantic new dimension unfold in its own time for you. It's a lot, and that's the beauty of it. Now, with this, there will always be something new to learn and explore!
Your affirmation is:
There is no way to get my life wrong. My connection to source is eternal.
Pile 4
5 of Pentacles rx, Temperance
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The part of you that wants to be felt is your relief. When I tap into your energy, it matches the archetype of a man on his porch with a shotgun in his lap. He is already falling asleep in his rocking chair, because there is no actual danger present that would cut the lulling sound of crickets, but then this thing inside his head goes off and he jolts awake to point the weapon at the dark. There hasn't been an intruder or dangerous animal in years, but he is so afraid of it happening again, that he ruins his own divinely orchestrated time for recuperation.
Yes, the horrors of the past were real, but you can wait forever to feel relaxed now that it's over, if you don't loosen your grip on your defenses (which are, quite frankly, premature offenses a lot of the times). It will feel terribly vulnerable and like the dumbest thing you could ever do, but your body needs your help. It. Is. Tired. Being scared is hard work. I know I am being the opposite of original here with my suggestions, and I invite you to moan your annoyance clearly, and roll your eyes at me with vigor when I say: Deep breath in, hold it for as long as you can, and exhale slowly. Repeat until you feel different. It might take a while, depending from how high of an adrenaline level you have to climb down, but golly, you need it. Don't be surprised if a pocket of fear comes up to be felt, the up and down is the way it goes towards equilibrium. Just keep breathing, dear. Your body knows the rest.
Your affirmation is:
I have the power to create peace within myself.
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