#like im sorry it’s summer and i’m enjoying myself
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macbcth · 4 months ago
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having a staff accountability/ conduct meeting tmrw bc i broke curfew too many times 😗✌️
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james-spooky · 1 month ago
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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chipsinsalsa · 2 years ago
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Super excited for your next peeta/josh hutcherson fic! Hoping you can make more for his role of Josh Futturman!! Keep up the amazing work!! 💗
Missing You
Josh Futturman x Fem! Reader
Plot: What happens when you catch your boyfriend doing something he's not supposed to.
A/N: Changed it up a bit last minute and decided to write a Josh Fic based upon those steamy Gifs on here from Futureman! Thank you everyone for the support and interactions once again! I love it! I do apologize if fics come in late I am super busy with work but once summer roles around ill be free as a bird! Let me know if you want more like this :) <3 (sry for any typos)
contains: smut, switch Josh, catching in act,masturbation
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It had been 5 long days since you had last been inside you and your boyfriend's apartment. 
You had gone to visit your mother who had gotten sick and had no one to take care of her. He couldn't come along as he was too busy working at his job as a Janitor. Which may not have been the best job but ultimately the building he worked for had a greater cause. 
But after your aunt flew in to take over, you managed to come back home in one peace.
 You knew Josh didn't get home from work until much much later so as soon as you came in you made yourself comfortable, throwing the luggage to the side and plopping yourself on the couch. 
As you sat there, you took a deep breath and looked around the apartment. Not much had changed except a few dirty dishes in the sink which you made a mental note to clean up before Josh came home.
So you decided to take a quick shower to freshen up after your long trip. 
Once you came out you wrapped a towel around your body making your way to your bedroom to change. But that's when you heard it, the sound of your name being called. 
You froze for a moment, unsure if you had really just imagined it or if it was actually real. You listened carefully, but there was no sound. That was until you took another step closer and heard your name again, clear and coming from a voice that sounded almost desperate to call you. 
Your heart rate began to increase as you realized it was indeed someone calling your name from the other side. 
You wrapped the towel tighter around your body and cautiously made your way toward the source of the sound. Both afraid and curious you slowly opened the door to your bedroom. 
That’s when you saw him, your boyfriend sitting on his gaming chair. His eyes closed, face lost in pleasure. You looked down and realized his hand was slowly stroking his cock as he called out for you. 
You gasped in shock and quickly backed away from the door, crossing your legs, feeling warmth in your core.
You were shocked he was home and maybe even a little offended that out of everything he could be doing he was pleasuring himself without considering waiting for you. But on the other hand, the sight of him had turned you on, and you couldn’t deny it.
You decided to open the door again.
Josh’s eyes flew open as he saw you, he quickly tried to cover himself up. He looked embarrassed, and you could see the flush in his cheeks.
“I-I I’m sorry,” he said, barely managing the words while looking at you with apologetic eyes. “I didn’t know you were home. I-I thought you were still at your mom���s.” He spoke panting.
“You must have not heard me shower then-” You said as you took in the sight.
“I couldn’t help myself, I-I missed you,” his face now blushing uncontrollably.
You took a step closer to him, letting the towel fall from your body. “You know” you whispered, as you walked over to him climbing onto his lap.
“Now that im here,” You spoke slowly pulling off the blanket he had covered himself with, exposing his throbbing cock.
He whined at the feeling of your hands grasping it. “What did you imagine me doing to you,”
He began to whimper uncontrollably as he bucked his hips into your hand desperate for friction. “I-I fuck,” He gasped unable to speak.
You smirked as you continued to stroke him, enjoying the control you had over him. “Tell me, Josh,” you whispered in his ear. “What do you want me to do to you?”
He moaned loudly, his hands grabbing your hips tightly. “Anything,” he said breathlessly. “Anything you want, just please don’t stop.”
You leaned in closer to him, your lips brushing against his ear as you spoke.
“Anything?” you asked, your voice low and sultry. “You missed me that much?”
He nodded eagerly, his eyes filled with desire. “Yes,” he gasped. “P-Please, dont stop.”
You smiled wickedly as you continued to stroke him, enjoying the way he writhed beneath you. “Then promise me,” you said, still whispering in his ear.. “You won't ever touch yourself again without me.”
Josh’s eyes widened at your demand, but he didn’t hesitate in his response. “I promise, I’ll do anything, just keep going please,” He begged.
You chuckled softly at his desperation, enjoying the control you had over him.
Slowly, you leaned down and captured his lips in a heated kiss, your tongue tangling with his as you continued to stroke him. He moaned into your mouth, his body shaking with pleasure.
As you continued to kiss him, you could feel his hands beginning to roam. His hand moved up to your breast as his thumb rubbed your nipple. 
You broke the kiss looking at him with a stern look. "I didn't say you could touch me yet," you spoke firmly, your hand still wrapped around his cock. "You said we could do anything I wanted?" 
He looked you up and down his hands hovering over your body. “And you dont want me to touch you?” 
As much as you wanted to be dominant you gave so easily into his touch. He brushed his fingers down your stomach making his way to your warmth. You shivered grinding into him. “But your already so wet-” he said teasingly before stopping abruptly. "But I won't keep touching you until you let me-”
“You can-” You spoke now craving him more than ever.
Before you could finish your sentence, Josh's lips crashed onto yours, his hands finally finding their way to your body gripping at your thighs. You couldn't help but moan into his kiss as he explored every inch of you with his hands, driving you crazy with desire.
He picked you up off the chair and onto the bed laying you down.
As he broke the kiss, he looked at you running his hands through your curves. “Now I think it's my turn to get what I want-”
Josh grinned down at you, 
"And what is it that you want?" you asked, his hands still roaming your body.
"I want to be inside you," He spoke without hesitating, and he quickly positioned himself between your legs, and slowly began to insert himself into you. 
As he slid inside you, you moaned loudly, feeling his hardness filling you up completely. Josh began to thrust in and out of you, his movements becoming more frantic as he got closer to the edge. You wrapped your legs around his waist, urging him on as he picked up the pace, each thrust hitting that spot deep inside you that sent waves of pleasure coursing through your body.
Your hands roamed over his back, scratching at his skin as you felt yourself getting closer and closer to the edge. You could feel the tension building inside you, the sensations becoming almost too much to bear.
Josh's hands moved up to your breasts, squeezing and massaging them as he continued to thrust into you with increasing urgency “You dont know how much-” He spoke between thrusts. “I fucking wanted you-” 
You couldn't speak your mind lost in ecstasy. 
You moaned in response, the pleasure consuming you as Josh's movements became even more frantic.  
The sounds of your moans mixed with Josh's groans and the sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room, creating an intense atmosphere of passion and desire. 
As Josh's thrusts became faster and more powerful, you felt yourself approaching the peak of pleasure. Your body shook with ecstasy as you reached the brink of orgasm, and with a final thrust, Josh pushed you over the edge.
You cried out in pleasure as the orgasm washed over you, your body convulsing with waves of pleasure. Josh continued to thrust into you, riding out your orgasm before finally reaching his own release. 
With a final moan, he collapsed on top of you, his body slick with sweat.  
He turned to you caressing your face as he covered your naked body. 
“As long as you dont leave me I promise to keep my hands away-” 
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ihavemanyhusbands · 2 years ago
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Sneaky Link (18+ ONLY)
DBF!Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader
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WC: 3.5k words
Warnings: SMUT (MINORS DNI 18+ ONLY), DBF!Hotch, Age gap (still placing reader at mid-twenties), oral (m and f receiving), face sitting, dirty talk, cursing, unprotected sex (WRAP IT IRL!!), creampie, exhibitionism-ish? (it's poolside), anddddd lmk if anything else I missed!
A/N: IM LITERALLY SPEECHLESS RN PLDFNGBJKFNGB PLS ENJOY !!!!!!!!!
The summer was off to a great start.
Your parents decided to go sailing in Greece for three weeks, so you had been tasked with house-sitting. 
Well, to call it a house was inaccurate, really. It was more like a mansion. They had much more space than they needed, but your parents loved flaunting their wealth.
For your part, you didn’t care much about extravagance, even if you acknowledged your privilege. You’d rather accept their money for things like education, for instance.
 Still, it was nice to have a pool and a large garden for yourself. You were in desperate need of some unwinding, and you knew some sunshine and fresh air would do wonders for you.
You’d just moved out of your apartment, deciding to come back home for some time to hunker down and focus on sending out applications for a postgraduate degree. 
But that didn’t mean you wouldn’t procrastinate a little first. You had all summer, after all.
It was a nice, sunny day, perfect for lounging by the pool. Your parents had just left the previous night, so you filled in the silence with music blasting from your speakers. You brought a book and your laptop down to the pool area, and you were on your way back in for some lemonade when the doorbell rang. 
You hesitated for a moment, considering running up to your room to get a t-shirt. You were only wearing a turquoise bikini and a measly beach cover tied around your waist, and you weren’t sure if that was appropriate enough to greet someone at the door.
But then you figured fuck it, it was hot outside and this was technically your house, so you could do whatever the hell you pleased.
You opened the door to reveal someone you only knew from pictures and anecdotes — your dad’s best friend and next-door neighbor, the famous Aaron Hotchner.
Based on the pictures you’d seen, you already knew he was very handsome… but good lord, nothing could compare to the real thing. You couldn’t help blushing, suddenly feeling very exposed, but you tried to maintain your composure.
His dark eyes were drawn downwards before quickly returning to your face, a friendly smile on his lips.
“Hi, you must be Y/N,” he greeted, extending his large hand toward you. “I’m Aaron. Your father has told me so much about you. He’s having me keep an eye on you while they’re gone, make sure you’re good.”
“Oh, man, I hope he didn’t tell you any embarrassing stories.” You rolled your eyes playfully, returning the smile and shaking his hand. “I’ve heard a lot about you, too. It’s nice to meet you in person, finally.”
“Nice to meet you, too. You know, they’re both very proud of you, I can’t blame them for talking my ear off,” he said. “Sorry to show up unannounced, just thought I’d introduce myself.”
“Oh, no worries at all. I was just going to tan for a bit,” you said, gesturing to your swimsuit. “Do you want some lemonade or anything?”
“Sure, thank you, sweetheart.”
Your blush deepened a little at this. You stepped aside to let him in, his arm just barely brushing yours as he passed. In the kitchen, you poured him a glass and handed it to him. Covertly, you watched his throat work as he drank it all down, licking his lips when he finished.
You took a sip of your own, averting your gaze demurely. You weren’t usually very shy, but you were unsure of what to say to him. He was very close to your family, but to you, he was still virtually a stranger. A really, really attractive stranger.
And you just happened to be home alone with him.
He crossed his strong arms over his broad chest, his gaze wandering despite his best attempts at being respectful. He exhaled slowly.
“I have to say, your dad showed me an older picture of you. I almost didn’t recognize you when you opened the door.”
You shook your head in amusement. “I know he keeps one or two in his wallet. I’m surprised my mom never brought out the photo albums.”
He smirked. “I think she was waiting for you to be home for that. She probably wants you to get all flustered.”
You already were a bit flustered then, but you weren’t going to admit it to him. You fanned yourself a little with your hand, the expansive room suddenly feeling warmer.
“You’re welcome to join me at the pool, by the way. If you don’t have anything else going on, that is,” you offered. “Though you might need a swimsuit.”
“Oh, I don’t mean to intrude…”
“Not at all! Maybe that way we can get to know each other better.”
The truth was you were curious to see what was underneath that white polo and jeans, which hugged his lean muscles oh-so-deliciously. His thick eyebrows raised just slightly, and there was a certain glimmer in his eyes you wanted to decipher. Your eyes scanned his features, lingering on his lips for a long moment before moving on downwards.
You had the strangest urge to get your lips on that sharp jaw of his, just to hear what sound he would make. He had a pleasantly deep voice already, so you could only imagine…
You swallowed hard, trying to bat those thoughts out of your head. You needed to get a grip. Nothing could happen between the two of you, of course. That was impossible. Your parents would literally kill both of you.
But there was no harm in looking, right?
After a charged moment of silence, he shifted in his seat a little, but then nodded and got up.
“I’ll go get changed and come right back.”
“I’ll leave the door open.”
You brought an extra towel outside for him and settled onto one of the lounge chairs. Undoing your beach wrap, you began applying sunscreen to your legs. Then you moved onto your arms, humming along to your music.
“Here, let me get some on your back,” you heard Aaron’s deep voice behind you.
You looked back at him, eyes snagging on his bare chest and the smattering of dark hair across it. You couldn’t help it, your eyes betrayed you by sinking further down, right to the happy trail that ended at the hem of his swim trunks. 
You nodded quickly, handing him the bottle and moving your hair out of the way. Boldly, he sat behind you, rubbing sunscreen between his hands. Your body jerked slightly as he started tenderly spreading it on your back, and your eyes fell closed at his mere touch.
“So, do you have a boyfriend?” He asked casually.
You shook your head in response.
“How come?”
“I’m not really interested in guys my age,” you said with a small shrug. “They play too many games, and I’m not with that.”
“But you must have an army of admirers, surely.”
You huffed in amusement. “Not really. Boys ignore me because they know they can’t have me.”
He chuckled, his fingers grazing the top of your shoulders. “That’s surprising to me. You’re such a beautiful girl, I don’t see how anyone could ignore you.”
Butterflies burst in your stomach at his words. “Better to be alone than in bad company, right?”
“Yeah. You don’t need some silly boy, anyway. You need a gentleman.”
You glanced at him over your shoulder. “Well, let me know if you know any.”
All too soon, he was done with your back, but you offered to do the same to him. Okay, maybe you were a little too eager to get your hands on him, but this was innocent enough. You didn’t want him to get sunburned, either. 
“What about you?” You asked, trying not to sound too curious. “Where’s Mrs. Hotchner?”
He chuckled as if he’d been expecting this question.
“There’s no Mrs. Hotchner. At least for the time being.”
“Ah, I see. So you don’t need to be running home any time soon.”
“Not at all, sweetheart,” he smiled. “You’ve booked me for the entire day. Who knows what you’d get up to if I didn’t keep my eye on you.”
In a small moment of bravery, you smirked. “No good, of course.”
“Just as I thought. We can’t have that, now can we?”
You shrugged flirtatiously and batted your lashes prettily, not promising you were going to behave even if he was there.
Both of you lay in your respective lounge chairs, parallel to each other as you soaked up the sun. For a couple of minutes, neither of you said anything, but you surreptitiously snuck glances at one another.
Behind the cover of his sunglasses, his eyes trailed the thin rivulets of sweat trickling down your sternum. His fingers flexed as he suppressed the need to reach out. You glanced down at the movement of his hips as he readjusted his position, clearing his throat. You weren’t sure what sort of game you two were playing, but it was entirely too riveting. 
You sat up, hesitantly reaching for the straps holding up your bikini top.  
“Do you mind if I undo these? I’m not gonna take it off, but I have this cute strapless dress I want to wear, and I don’t want the tan lines.”
“Uh, um, sure, no problem,” he said, a little taken aback. “Let’s just keep that between us, okay?”
“My lips are sealed, Mr. Hotchner,” you said, keeping eye contact as you undid the straps, holding the top up with one hand as you lay back down. 
“Let me get you some more lemonade,” he muttered, getting up and quickly padding inside. 
You bit down a mischievous grin, knowing you were getting to him. If looking was all you could do, might as well make it more interesting. There was no harm in a little flirtation, either.
When he came back, you switched hands in order to get your glass from him. You smiled at him in appreciation, tilting your head back to look up at him. God, he was so tall. What the hell were you to do with so much man?
“Isn’t it crazy that we knew of each other from so many stories but never met before today?” You said as he sat back down.
“Well, I’ve heard you’re a busy girl. This is your first time home in a while, isn’t it?”
You nodded. “Gonna be spending some more time here, for sure.”
“That’ll be really nice. Hopefully, we’ll get to spend some of it together.”
You raised an eyebrow. “What’s that now? You like me already?”
“It’s hard not to.”
“I think I like you, too, Aaron.”
You smiled at each other for a moment, the tension between you on the brink of snapping. Your eyes kept being drawn to his lips. A spark of heat ignited low in your belly, and it was becoming harder not to pounce on him.
“I should probably shift onto my stomach, I need to even out my tan,” you said quickly, shifting over as gracefully as you could. Hopefully that way, you’d have a moment to collect yourself.
“Here, let me help you undo the back,” he offered, and you shot him a look that was both startled and exhilarated. “You said you wanted to even out your tan, right?”
You nodded, suppressing a gasp as you felt the last string holding up your top slide off.
“T-thank you,” you said.
“Anytime, sweetness. I’m gonna cool off in the pool if you wanna join me at any moment.”
You heard the water splashing and the small groan of relief that followed, which made you shiver. Of course, he knew what he was doing. He was not ignorant to the fact you were teasing him, and he figured two can play that game.
You were hyper-aware of his presence as you lay there, trying to keep still. Only a few minutes passed before you finally caved, your body’s instincts taking over.
He was swimming from one end of the pool to the other, fully submerged, so he didn’t see you sit at the edge and dip your legs in. Your arms were crossed over your chest, covering your breasts. You languidly kicked your legs in the water, watching his movements.
When he surfaced, he pushed his mop of dark hair back, blinking drops of water off his lashes. His movements ceased when his eyes fell on you.
“I was getting a little too hot,” you said, voice breathy and low.
“Well, no need to hide from me, darling girl,” he purred, wading just a little closer. “I promise I’m very well-behaved.”
You slowly uncrossed your arms, arching your back slightly and pushing out your chest. The coquettish smile on your face nearly unmade him then and there, but he held himself back. Letting you take control of the situation was quite titillating, and he wanted to see just how far you would take things.
He licked his lips. “There we go. What a gorgeous sight you are.”
You could basically feel your heartbeat in your pussy at that point.  You feared you might combust if he didn’t touch you soon.
“Don’t you want to come closer? I don’t bite.”
“I do,” he said, his smile taking on a lupine quality.
“Then I insist.”
He swam over, and you parted your legs so he could situate himself between them. Your hands landed on his broad shoulders, and you shuddered a little at the cool touch of his skin. 
Your nipples hardened, attracting his attention momentarily, and once more he licked his lips. 
“Are you sure?” He whispered. “You know we can’t tell another soul about this, right?”
You nodded eagerly. “You’ll find I’m very good at keeping secrets.”
“I’ll hold you to it.”
Without further warning, he dove forward and captured one of your nipples in his mouth. His tongue rolled around it as his fingers came up to tweak your other nipple. You couldn’t help the needy mewl that escaped you, back arching further.
“Kiss me,” you breathed, taking his face in your hands and bringing your lips to his.
The kiss was hungry, almost desperate, and he was still palming your breasts as his tongue tangled with yours. You moaned into his mouth, and the next thing you knew, he was pulling you in with him. You let out a little yelp of surprise, wrapping your legs around his waist.
He chuckled, moving to kiss your jaw. “Said you needed to cool off, right?”
“Jerk,” you teased, swatting his arm playfully.
His arms encircled you as he trailed open-mouthed kisses down your neck and chest. His tongue lavished attention on your breasts once more, and soon enough you could feel an insistent bulge prodding at your clothed center.
“Oh, I’d really like to give you a hand with that,” you said, raking your fingers through his hair with one hand, the other reaching down to caress him through his swim trunks.
He sucked in a breath at the small touch, pulling back in order to nip at your bottom lip. 
“Then I guess we should take this outside, right away.”
He sat you back on the edge and pulled himself out of the pool. You wasted no time in discarding your bikini bottoms, toweling yourself off under his scrutinizing gaze. He did the same, and you pushed him onto a sunbed under the shade of an umbrella.
And since you were already not wasting time, you bent down to lick a long stripe up the underside of his cock, which lay hard against his abdomen. His hips bucked as you kissed the tip, looking up at him through your lashes. 
“Fuck, you’re breathtaking,” he groaned, fingers grazing your cheek adoringly. “Simply irresistible. You could see the effect you had on me, hmm?”
You nodded, slightly rubbing your cheek against his hand in a silent plea. 
He smirked at this, twisting your ponytail around one hand and using the other one to feed his cock into your mouth. You hummed around him. He was so thick that you weren’t sure how much you’d be able to take, but you’d never been a quitter. 
The sounds he was making as you bobbed your head proved to be very efficient motivation, as well. You felt the head hit the back of your throat, but still, you kept going. His grip tightened each time he heard you gagging, but he kept relative control of his jutting hips.  
You reached between your legs to touch yourself, fingers easily slipping through your soaked folds. At the sight, something in him snapped.
“Come here, I want to taste you,” he urged, and you released him with a loud, obscene pop. “I need you to sit on my face right now.”
He pulled you up and you maneuvered to situate yourself atop his face, legs straddling his head. You hesitated, momentarily fearing you would suffocate him, but he pulled you down eagerly.
He devoured you like you were his last meal on earth. Your entire body tensed at the feeling of his tongue flicking and circling your clit. Your hips bucked, but his large hands were holding you down by your thighs. 
You reached back, palming his length as best as you could, stroking the head with the tips of your fingers. He thrusted into your grip, his deep moan vibrating against your cunt.
Pleasure was like a cresting wave, threatening to break. It made your body feel red hot as you neared the peak, but you wanted to hold off a little longer.
“A-Aaron… I’m-I’m gonna…” you trailed off, unable to finish your sentence.
At this, he only doubled his efforts instead of releasing you. He sucked on your clit before his tongue dipped inside you, and you ground against his face desperately.
Your orgasm seized you, rippling throughout your entire being. You cried out, head thrown back and eyes fluttering shut. He let you ride it out, prolonging it a little with languid strokes of his tongue.
You were still trembling a little when he placed a kiss on your inner thigh, beaming up at you, eyes glazed over with desire and pride.
“You taste like absolute heaven,” he panted. “Such a sweet pussy.”
“Were you able to breathe?” You asked sheepishly, biting your lower lip.
“Oh, honey, even if I couldn’t, I would’ve died the happiest man on Earth,” he kissed your thigh once more, making you sigh. “Think you can take my cock, pretty girl? Or do you need a break?”
You nodded frantically, moving back so he could sit up and kiss you. You tasted yourself on his lips, instantly hooked. There was something about him that was making you feel wild and unrestrained, almost animalistic.
Had you ever wanted someone so badly before? No, not like this.
“Are you on birth control?” He asked between kisses.
“Yes! Please, just fuck me already. I can’t wait any longer.”
He flipped you onto your back, pushing your legs up to put you in a mating press. Breath escaped you as he slowly sank into you, letting you feel the entirety of his length. He kissed you slowly as he bottomed out, overwhelmingly deep inside you in the best way possible.
“That’s it, good girl,” he groaned into your mouth. “You take me so well.”
His strokes were long and deep, making you see stars. All coherence flew out the window as you lost yourself to the all-consuming feeling of him. 
He continued to murmur praises into your ear, kissing a spot right behind it that made you shudder. You sighed his name, gasping as he ground his pelvis against you.
“You keep sucking me back in, honey,” he grunted. “Are you close again?”
You whimpered in response, eyes heavy-lidded as you looked up at him. He kissed the tip of your nose, smiling fondly.
“Good, because I want you to come with me. Can you do that, sweet girl?”
“Fuck yes! Come inside me, please,” you begged as he picked up the pace, hips snapping against yours. “Oh, fuck… give it to me. Please, please, please.”
You tumbled over the edge a second time, clenching him hard. Your nails dug into his biceps as you cried out. He hissed through his teeth, muscles seizing up as he spilled inside of you. His last few strokes were sloppy and shallow as you both rode out your highs.
He leaned his sweaty forehead against yours as you both breathed hard. You looked at each other and chuckled, flush with endorphins and utter satisfaction. He kissed you once more and you knew it was a feeling you would never tire of.
“I’m really glad I stayed to keep an eye on you,” he said, bringing your legs down to a more comfortable position, still sheathed inside you. “If this was you being a good girl, I have to wonder how you are when you’re bad.”
You smirked deviously. “I guess you’ll have to find out.”
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honey-crypt · 3 months ago
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ERM HI…. HAHA… I really like ur elliott fics and im wondering,,,,,, *looks at you with HUGE eyes* what if that one scene on Ginger Island where you have the dialogue option to “help him put sunscreen on” turns SPICY… Perhaps with an afab or genderless farmer…. 👁️👁️
Again, i love your stuff and i get super happy to see ur posts on my TL 🐝💕💕 long live the great bee 🤴
(For now i will remain anonymous… 🪳)
a/n: sorry that this took forever! i was in anti-horny mode. nonetheless, i hope you enjoy this fic!
word count: 1.6k
warnings: accidental boner, blowjob, deepthroating, semi-public sex (farmer and elliott fuck in the bathroom on ginger island), cum swallowing, farmer and elliott fail to realize that they're crushing on one another
summary: elliott needs help with applying sunscreen on his back and as his friend, you're more than happy to help! but what happens when you get too close and too intimate with the whole process?
★ the sunscreen incident - elliott x farmer ★
The summer breeze ruffled your hair and the sun beamed down warm rays on your skin, as you walked along the boardwalk to the resort. A rare day off in the summer season warranted a trip to Ginger Island and it seemed that many other residents had the same idea. An assortment of individuals scattered about the sandy beaches of the island, some soaking up rays while others chatted amongst themselves near the crystal clear waters. Your flip flops made contact with the sand and you let out a sigh of contentment, What a nice day.
Yet, out of the blue, your throat tightened and you groaned from the sensation, suddenly parched. Yoba, I need a drink. Thankfully, Gus had set up shop at the rental bar, serving drinks and snacks to the beach attendees. You made a beeline for the bar and greeted Gus with a smile, “Gus, my man, how are you?”
“Oh, (Y/N)!” the bartender flashed you a smile, “Things are well, very busy today. Can I get you a drink? Maybe a snack?” you eyed the menu and pondered your options, “I’ll take a mango smoothie,” you placed your order with Gus. He gave you a thumbs up and walked over to the blender, dumping the ingredients and blending them. Gus poured out the smoothie and garnished it with a little umbrella, “One mango smoothie.”
“Thanks,” you dropped a few G in the bartender’s hands. You took the smoothie and scanned the shore for any good spots to sunbathe. That was when you saw him, Elliott lounging on a striped beach towel with his glorious chest on display for all to see. Your face heated up at the sight and averted your gaze, not wanting to get caught staring at him like a creep. However, Elliott must have caught you anyway when he exclaimed, “(Y/N), my friend! Come here, please!”
You fulfilled his request and approached Elliott, plopping down in the sand next to him, “Hey, Ellie,” the nickname rolled off your tongue cheekily, “Enjoying the weather?” the redhead nodded, his ponytail bouncing with the movement, “Yes, yes, indeed. Despite living on the beach back home, Ginger Island’s waters seem more lively and fresh.”
“You think so?” you eyed the ocean before the two of you and sipped on your smoothie, “I guess it does look clearer than the beach back home,” you watched the people in the water, such as Kent guiding a floatie-wearing Vincent farther into the sea and Leah’s braided hair and snorkel straw poking out above the water. It brought a smile to your face, to see the residents of Pelican Town enjoy the wonders of Ginger Island.
“Oh, (Y/N),” you perked up at the sound of Elliott’s voice. He held out a bottom of sunscreen, SPF 70 to be exact, “Could you do me a favor and apply sunscreen to my back? I burn quite easily and I’m not flexible enough to apply it myself.”
“Of course,” you took the sunscreen and gestured to Elliott to lay down on the towel. He laid on his stomach and pushed his ponytail out of the way, allowing his back to be completely exposed. Your mouth watered at the sight of his toned back, adorn with freckles galore and prominent muscles. You had no clue why he was so in-shape, given his lifestyle of eight hour writing sessions and daily trips to the saloon for his meals. 
“Everything alright?” the writer questioned. You shook off your stupor and replied, “Yes! Just zoned out,” you uncapped the sunscreen and squeezed the white goop into your hands. You leaned closer to Elliott’s back and began applying the sunscreen, massaging it deep into his skin. Elliott let out a soft groan from your motions, He must have a sensitive back. 
“Need me to pause?” you asked. Elliott lifted his head up enough so you could clearly hear his response, “No need, I’m simply tender when it comes to my back. Please resume,” you squirted more sunscreen on your hands and swung one leg over Elliott’s legs, sitting down on his ass so you could get better leverage. 
Elliott let out a squeak of surprise, but quickly settled down and allowed you to resume your work. You continued to massage the sunscreen into his skin, humming a tune to yourself while you did so. Finally, after a few minutes, you finished up and announced to Elliott, “All done!” you hopped off his backside. Elliott turned himself over and smiled at you, “Thank you, (Y/N). I much appreciate it.”
“Of course, no–” you cut yourself short, your eyes locked in on Elliott’s crab-patterned swim shorts. Without realizing, the writer was displaying a proud erection, you held back a squeak of your own and hastily shielded his boner with your body. Elliott tilted his head like a confused puppy, “What’s wrong?”
“Ellie…” you swallowed your spit hard, “You got a, uh… you got a boner.”
Elliott’s eyes widened in shock and immediately covered the tent in his swim shorts with his towel, “Oh, dear! I’m so very sorry, (Y/N). I don’t know why I have one, I must go and take care of that,” with his towel as a shield, Elliott rose from the sand and walked over to the bathroom. 
To both parties’ surprise, you stood up after him and grabbed him by the wrist, “Wait, I…” you stared down at the sand, “It’s kinda my fault you, uh… have that little issue. Do you, uh–” your face was flushed with embarrassment, “I can take care of it.”
Elliott’s jaw dropped at your proposition, his freckled face a lovely shade of tomato red, “Oh! Oh my, I–” he covered up his surprise with a faux cough, “I wouldn’t… be opposed to that. Meet me in the family restroom,” he then entered the bathrooms. You waited a few moments, not wanting to arouse suspicion, before heading inside. Mustering up some courage, you approached the family restroom and opened the door. Inside, Elliott sat on the pull-out chair, towel still covering his boner. You gave him a small wave, “Hey.”
“Hello,” he returned the pleasantries. You walked up to him and removed the towel, staring down at Elliott’s boner. Elliott let out an awkward cough and you broke eye contact with the boner, “Sorry,” you apologized, twiddling your thumbs, “Do you want me… to suck you off?”
“That should do the job,” he answered, “If you’re okay with that, of course.”
“I’m okay with it,” you reassured the freckle-faced man, “Can– Can you pull your shorts down?” the writer nodded in confirmation and slowly slid off his swim shorts, his cock now free from its confinement. You gawked at its appearance, the mushroom tip red and angry with some pre-cum leaking out. It was on the bigger side, maybe six or seven inches, but it was nothing you couldn’t handle. After all, you were referred to as “The Blowjob Master” back in college for your blowjob skills. 
You folded up your towel and made a makeshift pillow, placing it on the water-soaked floor and resting your knees on it. Timidly, you placed your hands on Elliott’s thighs- Yoba, those thighs could crush watermelons- you waved off your horny thoughts and looked up at Elliott, “Are you ready?”
“I am,” he patted you on your head, “Thank you for your help again.”
“Of course, anything for you,” you flashed him a small smile. Taking a deep breath, you grasped the shaft and gave the tip a tentative lick. Elliott stifled back a moan, his face now a deeper red. You carefully guided his cock in your mouth and once inside, you began to suck Elliott off. The writer bit down on his hand to silence his moans while you bobbed your head up and down on his dick. 
Yoba, this exchange felt otherworldly to Elliott, his crush down on their knees and sloppily blowing him. Spit leaked from your mouth and onto the remainder of Elliott’s shaft, coating it in the bubbling substance. With his free hand, Elliott found his way into your hair and tightly pulled at it, earning a moan from you that vibrated down his whole cock. 
Elliott’s eyes rolled into the back of his skull when you managed to find his weak spot, a vein directly under the tip of his dick. You licked and nipped at it, relishing in Elliott’s descent into madness from your cocksucking skills. In one swift motion, you took his full length in your mouth, your nose touching his beautifully manscaped bush. 
Elliott held out a muffled moan and promptly climaxed, shooting ropes of hot cum down your throat and into your tummy. You groaned against his shaft while he orgasmed and as soon as he finished, you pulled yourself off his cock and wiped off any excess cum from your lips. Elliott cleaned off any spit and cum from his now flaccid cock; he then put his swim shorts back on and gave you a relieved smile, “Thank you.”
“Anything for you,” you winked, “I’ll see you outside?” Elliott nodded, “Yes, I just need a moment,” you gave him a thumbs up and exited the bathroom, leaving Elliott to his own devices. The redhead approached the mirror and steadied himself, hands gripping the sink hard.
“I need to buy them flowers as a thank you gift.”
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letsgetrowdy43 · 1 year ago
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I've never known someone like you—
Luke Hughes x musician!reader
I listened to “glue song” by Beabadobee (feat. Clairo) and that gave me the inspiration for the edit so enjoy!!
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ynofficial and Rollingstone just posted!!
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Liked by radvxz and 239 837 others
Ynofficial I met with @Rollingstone earlier this week to talk about my art, what’s coming next, and how I want to expand my creativity into different types of mediums!! Link is in my bio, please give it a read 🤎
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User64 bby you’re glowing!!
User20 dude you’re so well articulated! The interview was perfect
Taylornation we are obsessed with you 💜🕰️
Liked by Ynofficial
User48 no cause when she started talking about wanting to write a book and get more involved in the New York art scene I started shaking with excitement
User19 it would be so sick to see her involve herself in all sorts of creative scenes
Gracie Abrams I aspire to be you
Ynofficial I’m kicking my feet rn bae 🤭
Ynoffical just posted!!
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Ynofficial New York the last two nights have been literal dreams come true <3 New Jersey I’m on my way!!
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User29 they way I’ve never been so excited for anything in my life
Leithross you deserve it all!!
Ynofficial omg ily 🫶🏻
User40 THIS IS MY ERAS TOUR 😩
Jackhughes @Lhughes_06 so…. should we get tickets
Lhughes_06 yes.
User63 that was ominous…
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Lhughes_06 just posted!!
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Lhughes_06 is this considered a soft launch??
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Markestapa since when??
Dylanduke25 the question you should be asking is WHO?
User73 we lost him girls 😔
User47 this post will be a conversation in therapy today!
Umichhockey very softlaunch 💙
NJdevils he learnt from the best ❤️
Dougieham are the girls fighting?
Jackhughes did she buy you that shirt 🤨
Lhughes_06 I actually bought this myself…
_Quinnhughes disgusting.
Ynofficial just posted!!
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Ynofficial so sad that my first tour has come to and end!! But I’m so excited to rest and get back into the routine of making new stuff for you guys!! Stay tuned <3
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User37 we love you ❤️
User19 watching you preform was such an out of body experience, you’re truly a talent
Ynofficial you’re gonna make me cry 🫶🏻 ily
xboygeniusx it was a pleasure to open for you!! Loved watching you grow as the tour went on 🖤
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Dylanduke25 JUST SHOW US HIS FACE
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Lhughes_06 just posted!!
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Lhughes_06 dylan duke cracked the code
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Dylanduke PURR! I DID THAT
User28 I witnessed the revelation 😎
Edwards.73 I’m sorry what…
Lucafantilli he’s literally been gone a month.
Nicohischer congrats!!
User37 I was not expecting that. Like at all.
Ynofficial wait this is so cute 🤭
Lhughes_06 you’re cute
Ynofficial I’m gonna put my phone down and kiss you now
Jackhughes IM 😒 TIRED 😒 OF 😒 THIS
Ynofficial just posted!!
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Ynofficial I 🫶🏻 Luke Warren Hughes
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Lhughes_06 love you
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User92 I just know the booktok girlies are gonna eat this up…
User32 New Wag just dropped??
Ynofficial if anything I’m his sugar mommy
Lhughes_06 🤑💸
_Quinnhughes I don’t think you bully moose enough
Jackhughes agreed!
User48 MY HEART 😩
Dylanduke25 WAIT A SECOND YOU WENT TO THE B1G CHAMPIONSHIP GAME
Mackiesamo may we please get a timeline of this relationship??
Ynofficial we met last year when he visited Jack in jersey… We got together last summer when I visited Michigan!
Dylanduke25 I can’t believe he hid this from us 💔
Elblue6 sending my love ❤️
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jocelynscrazyideas · 5 months ago
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I Know You | Matt Rempe x reader
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Inspired by the song I know you by Faye Webster
Warnings: heartache, salty fluff/angst, language, depression, mentions of death, (if you every need help I’m always here to listen and support you- always reach out and I’m here bubbas), the blurb is kinda long lwk. NOT PROOF READ
Summary: after wanting to follow your passion and go for a job you’ve been dreaming of, Matt turns down your dreams and shuts you out. You feel insufferable without him but feel unseen for your love and potential when you’re together.
a/n: I’ve been thinking abt Matt and I was listening to this song on the shower and I was like “damn, this is it.” So I hope you enjoy.
📚💬: Lando Norris? Or I could make a new blog and post there but yippee 🥳 OML and I know everyone likes my smut work more but im proud of this piece so don’t be mean. MATT REMPE WOULD NEVER DO THIS IRL (READ THSI WITH A GRAIN IF SLAT)
.·:*¨༺༻¨*:·. .·:*¨༺༻¨*:·. .·:*¨༺༻
I had recently been really verbal about my dream job, being a Social Worker. I grew up in a family issued home, and I had recently gotten out. I want to let people know that there is safety and secure housing out there. That’s why this job has always been important to me.
It’s off season, Matt is off ready to train for the summer. Matt, my boyfriend if 5 months had recently told me to reach farther than the stars. “The sky looks like the limit, but there are most definitely more than one universe out there. Reach for the impossible.” He told me. Matty supported my dreams until he found out the job I wanted to take was in Wyoming.
Now it seems stupid but, I’d go across the world to take the job- im determined to rescuing the unseen.
“You should stay! Find a social worker association in New York! Please.” Matt begged. For weeks he would buy me flowers and take me out to dinner.
“Matt you just don’t get it!�� I yell from the other side of our shared bed.
“I know you better than I know myself y/n! Of course I get it.” He shouts in my face. He stumps towards me. I crawl over the large bed and run out the room. I slam the door. Running for my shoes.
“You can’t just run!” He screams from the top of the stairs. He watches me slide my shoes on, he runs down the stairs as he sees me darting for my water bottle and the keys to my car.
“You don’t get it Matt! I lived it! You didn’t!” I immediately shout, he takes a hold of my wrist. He scoffs and lets me go. Dropping my heart, my stomach, my air, and I leave.
I have a work cell and a personal phone. Matt has my work number but not the location so I purposely left my personal on the counter and left. “You left your phone! y/n!” He shouts as I get in the car.
“Keep it! That’s how you’ll remember me! How you treated me!” I mimic him. Mocking what I had thought was the love of my life- which clearly I was wrong.
He runs after me. I see him dash inside of the house letting the glass door shut into the frame. He rubs out of the house once more, this time sitting the door securely.
Surely he’s just going to the grocery. No. He’s driving after me.
I take a sharp left, right. I pass through a light, I turn into a neighborhood, behind a blue house was a path. I park in the Parking lot they had taht sits infront of a large pink and organge playground. I take my keys and let my water sit in the car.
I tie my shoes and sprint away. I make it to .14 miles and I check to see Matt isn’t behind me. No one is on the path. I set my phone down and I tighten my runners belt.
I stuff my keys and push my phone in. I put my AirPods in and stuff the case into the belt. I listen to sad songs to fuel my running crave. I stretch after that warmup.
I hear cars passing by. “I’m sorry, i am playing hide and seek with my girlfriend, she is hiding with my niece I was wondering if you have seen her.” I stand up from my stretches.
What the fuck.
I’m behind a wall of bushes that hide the running path. I slide my head over, I peek through. Shit.
It’s Matt.
“Her name in is y/n. If you see her just tell her to meet me at the green marble.”
Green marble. The place I took him when he had his first panic attack after an nhl game. I calmed him down at this lake and it was super clear- really beautiful. The green marble was the place we spend the most time at together, our first kiss happened here, our last date was here.
The real reason why we call it the green marble is because I was wearing a green dress and he had on socks that I made fun of, they were marble/ tie dye.
~
Matt turns as I jerk back. He made eye contact with me through the bush. “Y/n?” He mumbles. He apologizes to the stranger he was talking to and walked toward me. I ran. I ran to my car. Letting him think I was getting in. I watch him turn around and head to his car.
He thinks he’s going to follow me out of the park. Nope.
I take off. I start on a small jog towards the duck pond they have. I run around this pond about four times which lead to about 1.43 miles.
I get tired of letting Matt eat away my feelings. I run back to my car, I stretch before I get in and I drink my water. I’m covered in bug bites and sweat. It’s 92F out, I’m wearing pink gym shark shorts and a black bra from alo yoga. My hokas are worn down, and my Nike socks are covered in dirt.
I head back towards home, then I see Matt’s car isn’t there. He doesn’t park in the garage so I’m guessing he’s just out drinking his emotions away.
~
“Meet me at the green marble.”
I never him saying to the stranger.
~
I reverse my car out of the driveway and I head to the lake.
“You actually came.” He laughed. Matt got up, wiped his hands on his shorts.
“How many girls asked to take a picture.” I laugh.
My mom used to tell me, “sometimes you just have to be the bigger person, let the other person think they have won the argument, but really, letting them move on is the best win. Forgetting and forgiving is the best gift you can do for yourself, and especially in big moments and relationships you’ll have when you’re older.” I think about it taht all the time.
Does it work? Oh yeah. It sure does. Matt falls for it all the time.
Ms I doing it right now? Of fucking course I am.
Do you know how some people say that men push away their emotions? Yeah Matt is distant, and I want him to be more open. He just gets insecure.
~ after the beach ~
Matt tried to shower with me, and i was okay with the thought of us showering together again. Until, “bubs, the hamper is full again.” He spoke to me. He looked at me like I was the only one who was capable of doing siad laundry.
“Okay.” I stared at him. I didn’t shower. I put on pjs instead. While Matt showered I packed a go bag, you never know when you need it.
I stored the bag by the shoes downstairs. I ran back upstairs to lay in bed.
“Matthew. We need to talk.” I mumbled when Matt came into bed. He leveled his head to mine and pulled me closer to him. My back still facing his front I pull my hands towards my face. Covering my face from any chance that I could cry.
“What do you want ti talk about?” He asked and kissed my cheek. He lay back down on his back and sighed.
“I wnat you. I all of you, you here in New York with me.” He voiced.
I told him before he got drafted- when we were still friends, that I didn’t wnat him to leave. You know what he did? He left for New York anyway.
“I made a decision. You aren’t going to like.”
“Y/n. I love you, I will come to your senses.” He laughed. He thinks my words are jokes.
Before I tell him I am leaving, I get up. Sitting up straight, getting out of bed. I made this decision about for seconds after packing my go bag, “Matt, I love you. I also love myself, and- I… I wnat to go to Wyoming.” I stutter and I see him sit up. Without hesitation he looked at me like I was a piece of garbage.
“No. Y/n this is something we talk about together.” He shouted at me. Spot flies out of his mouth.
“It’s my job, they offered me a really nice deal, they house me for a year and that’ll get me enough money to buy a nice house. I’ll be able to pay everything off my name.” I present him the idea of me being successful.
“No.” He lays back down, thinking I’ll say okay, and sit with him in bed again.
That’s not what happened.
“If you leave right now, we’re done. Yiu hear me? If you leave the room, we are not a thing, we are breaking up if you go sleep on your car, or sleep in the guesthouse.” He adds before I stepped out of the room.
I left. I grabbed the door before leaving and I ran.
I shoved my bag into my backseat, I had extra clothes, I had snacks, my work cell, blankets, my personal belongings I was okay to sleep in my car for atleast three days.
~
It’s been a year without Matt.
It’s been a year without me.
When I was driving to a friends house to spend the night, I never made it.
A drunk driver had hit my car, I came flying out. Following that, another driver had ran a red light, running me over.
I had six broken ribs, a fractured wrist, I tore my meniscus and my acl from landing on the pavement.
When Matt came driving behind me looking for me, it was only after Sarah- my friend I was going to spend the night, with called him.
“Hey Matt, um, y/n didn’t make it to my house. She said you guys are getting in it and needed a place ti stay. It’s been an hour since she said she’s on her way, it only takes 15 minutes to get to my house.”
“Okay? Maybe traffic?” He answered.
“No Matt, you’re not listening, it’s 2:07 in the morning. There is no traffic, we’re in the suburbs, no one is up right now except drunk drivers, I have something in the oven because I thought she would wnat a dinner but she never made it.” Sarah sounded sacred she couldn’t leave.
“Okay fine. I’ll go looking for her.”
“Matt, it was always going be you looking for her. If I went out for her, she would have left you.”
~
I was on the cold black pavement waiting for someone to come get me. I couldn’t move. My lungs are crushing, my car is broken, the drivers taht and hit me all drove away. So much pain is going through my body it feels like nothing is happening.
I took a different way then I normally would have taken, just in case Matt came looking for me.
“Matt..” I kept whispering. I’m bleeding everywhere. My head is cracked open. My arm is twisted in ways it shouldn’t be.
I try rolling over, I could not get on my side, but before I feel back down, I felt my stomach. My actually guts. My actual organs were in my hands. I rolled back down in the cold now flooded with blood road.
I see a car roll up towards me. I know that car.
“Matt?” I cough out blood. I can’t see.
“Baby?!” He called 911.
He curled over me. Putting pressure onto my open wounds.
I know better than to pass out, but I give up. I felt my heart beat slow and I fell asleep.
Alseep forever.
~
At the hospital I was out in machines to stay alive. There was 5% taht I would wake up again, but I would not be able to function the way I could before the crash.
Matt stayed with me for days, he never left the hospital grounds he was always there, he showered at home but that was only during non visiting hours.
He would talk to me.
“I know baby.”
“It’s okay. I know you.”
“You can go. I’ll be here doing this for you.”
“I know you.”
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thrashkink-coven · 3 months ago
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A few weeks ago Lord Hermes very clearly and repeatedly told me my career was going to be slightly shifting soon. and because I was so incredibly anxious about the prospect of that, I tried denying it. Oops much have picked the wrong tarot card 5 times in a row. Oops sorry Hermes you’re cutting out oof bad signal sorry. What was that? Career change? Idk what you’re talking about. Let’s not fuck with my finances pls ☺️
Well :/ It’s happening now. And it’s not as a deal as I’ve made myself worry it would be. Just a slight lifestyle change, a bit more effort, a couple more things to do in a day. I got the news from my work yesterday, and last night Hermes visited me to “I told you so” and idk why but in that dream I was very sour about it. and he said something along the lines of
“a few months ago you were begging me for new opportunities because you were so eager to do something new. I told you to slow your role because new things are coming and now that they’re here you want to go back to your comfy corner and do nothing.”
and I was like yeah, I know. I need a hard kick in the ass and some new motivations, a new chapter, new projects. I just get anxious at having to get used to new changes. What if I fall short? What if I mess up because I try TOO hard? What if it’s difficult and overwhelming? What if I lose motivation and get stuck again?
And Hermes was kind of like “you know how Im ✨super fast✨ and cool, and you’re like… really slow?”
😒
“Well that’s actually just a trick of the eye. Every time I roam the skies, I have to get to my destination in a timely manner. Very important business. But Im not actually focused on going all that fast. In fact, I take my time to enjoy the journey. Every boundary I cross, I do so leisurely, because there’s nothing to be gained from rushing and worrying all the time. I’m always in the space between spaces, I’m very comfortable with the discomfort that comes with it. I got so damn good at it that I got faster and faster every time I tried. Now I go so fast, people don’t even realize how slow I’m going.
Basically, I never told you you had to adjust to everything right away, or that you’re going to seamlessly blend into every new chapter. Appreciate your surroundings for once. Appreciate the act of being unsure and take your time until you’re ready to pick up the speed. You can float on the water or fight against it, regardless, the waves are still going to come. And regardless of whether or not you want to sink like a rock, the tide will still move you. You’ve already won, so stop worrying so much about losing, cause my devotees aren’t losers”
So… anyways… I asked Hermes to help me start a small business with my friends selling art and clothes. The new hours will give me some extra cash to buy supplies finally. The added exercise will also help my mobility so I can slowly build up my strength and not be tired all the time- which will give me the motivation to make art and stuff. My disability is worsened by over exhaustion but it is also worsened by stagnation, so maybe a better balance of moving + resting will actually be better in the long term. Plus I’ll have a better opportunity to source supplies after work on my way home. Lord Ra has really been begging me to get outside more while the summer sun still lasts, maybe this is the catalyst I needed. Maybe I’ll do a spell for abundance and courage later.
Thanks, Hermes.
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dilfspitdrinker · 1 year ago
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Let The Light In | Joel Miller x f!reader
Description: You’ve been babysitting Joel Miller’s daughter all summer. No matter now much you try to deny it, you know you’re into him. But it’s just a little crush that you thought could never be reciprocated, until one fateful phone call. The shift between you two is irresistible, and you’re in for more than you ever anticipated. A/N: holy shit guys, sorry for the fucking hiatus?? Hopefully the smut in this chapter will make up for it. ITS HAPPENING! EVERYBODY STAY CALM! STAY FUCKING CALM! no guys seriously relax I'm already nervous don't make it a big deal shut up stop laughing. I've been mad busy with lyfe and college lately and had a hard time with this chapter, constantly having to remind myself that I do this FOR FUN and it literally does not matter if it's bad!!! BUT IM LOSING THE IDGAF WAR!!!! anyways enjoy and ily for reading
Warnings/tags: MDNI, oral + fingering (f receiving) (he give me brain like nyu), Joel is a talker, reader likes chocolate, age gap (reader is like 21 and Joel is in late 30s), (no his age doesn't canonically line up with what it should be since Sarah is like 12 here but idgaf)
Masterlist
Chapter 7
Once you woke, it took only a moment for you to recognize Joel’s bed, and your thoughts immediately began racing. You hadn’t slept together, had you? There was no way you’d had enough drinks to have forgotten if that happened, right? A quick flip of the covers revealed you were still in your dress. Guessing that meant no. He wasn’t in bed with you, didn’t look like he’d even been there, the covers on the other side looked quite undisturbed. Confused, you supposed he might’ve woken up before you and made just that side of the bed. Weird, but what other explanation was there?
You quietly followed the same routine as the last time you woke up in Joel’s bed, rushing to the bathroom to check yourself. Even after fixing your hair and dress that had gone askew, the thought of going out there in your little outfit from last night made you cringe. You thought briefly about going back to his room and stealing some of his clothes, just to avoid walking into the kitchen looking like you’d passed out after clubbing or something. After how great your date went, you prayed you hadn’t ruined it by saying or doing anything mortifyingly embarrassing, since you apparently didn’t even remember getting into bed.
You steeled yourself and padded down the hall. Peering around the corner into the kitchen, your voice came out small, “Joel?”
He was sitting at the table, dressed casually, a mug of steaming coffee in hand. A smile spread over his face at the sight of you, “Mornin’ darlin’. You sleep alright?”
“Yeah,” you gingerly sat across from him.
He could see the question in your eyes, and answered it to save you the embarrassment, “I slept on the couch.”
With that revelation, you quickly switched gears. Your tone was devoid of humor, “Are you kidding me?”
He gave you a quizzical look.
“You let me sleep in your bed while you slept on the couch again?”
He laughed you off, but you wouldn’t let him get away with it.
“I’m serious,” you crossed your arms, “Doesn’t matter if I’m here, it’s your own house, you’re sleeping in your own bed.”
“Yes ma’am,” he grinned, taking another sip from his mug.
You glared at him, but the hardness in your face dissolved as soon as he set a cup of freshly brewed coffee in front of you. Despite your outrage at the sleeping situation, Joel’s presence still managed to put you at ease. You’d even forgotten about why the dress thing made you nervous, he was probably enjoying the view.
“What time is it?” you asked between sips. You hadn’t registered the hour on the clock when you’d woken up in your alarmed state.
“Early,” he responded.
You hummed, soothing your mild grogginess with the coffee. You wished you’d slept in just a little more. You wished you’d slept in with Joel. Not ready to back down just yet, you asked sharply, “And how did you sleep?”
He was amused by your stubbornness, “You’re not lettin’ that go, are you?”
“Never.” 
He sighed, “Just didn’t wanna get all up in your business, darlin’.”
You rolled your eyes, “Oh please, you can get all up in my business anytime you want.”
He chuckled, “I’ll keep that in mind from now on.”
You two sat together, finishing off your coffees. Sunlight poured in through the windows, and you silently watched specks of dust float around him like a halo. His eyes still looked heavy with sleep, blinking slowly. More often than not, he would come home fighting exhaustion as he thanked you for watching Sarah. There were a few instances where he paid you a day late, accompanied with a text apologizing profusely for forgetting. You’d always assured him that it was fine, imagining how he must’ve passed out the second his head hit the pillow. In the quiet morning light, you wanted to pull him into bed, cradle his face, soothe the lines etched into his skin. You thought you’d do anything to relieve his stress.
He stood to collect your empty mugs, his broad frame towering over you.
Yes, anything.
You became newly aware of your dress, tugging the hem down a bit. While his back was to you, you cleared your throat, “Sorry for crashing here again.”
“How long ‘fore you learn…” he sighed to himself. He turned and crossed his arms, unexpectedly stern, “Will you quit talkin’ like you’re an inconvenience?”
The hand that fiddled with your dress stilled. You began fumbling through a sort of confession, “Sorry, I just, I don’t want you to think I’m… I don’t know…” You trailed off, unsure of exactly what image you were trying to avoid. Messy? Unpredictable? Opportunistic?
Brows turning up, he spoke, “Sweetheart, whatever it is, you gotta know that I only think good things of you.” He stepped forward and closed the space between you, capturing your face in his hands. He leaned down and kissed you sweetly.
As soon as your lips parted, the words spilled out. “This is gonna sound dumb,” you started, to which he immediately shook his head. You continued, wondering how much dumber you sounded with each word, “I just, I don’t want to do things that’ll make me seem– that’ll make you, like, not take me seriously. I don’t know if that makes sense.”
He pulled out a chair and sat facing you. “Why wouldn’t I take you seriously?”
So he was going to make you say it? You figured you’d have this conversation eventually if this thing was going to continue, but you didn’t expect to find yourself having it here and now. You felt unsteady, despite being seated. Inhaling, you willed your voice to come out stronger than you felt, “Because… I’m younger than you.”
The air stilled as Joel stared at you for a moment, thinking of the most careful way to say he didn’t give a damn about how it looked from the outside. Truly, he was old and gruff and undeserving of you. Indeed, you were young and pretty and lively and smart and giving and everything he fucking needed. He rested his elbows on his knees, leaning forward, “Right. Let’s clear up a few things. First and foremost, I care about your feelings and your wellbeing. If the uh, the age difference is makin’ you uncomfortable or unsure, we don’t have to do this.”
You pursed your lips together, palms feeling clammy. “I know it’s… unconventional, or at least most people would think it is, but I’m okay with it if you are.”
“I’m the same way darlin’. Don’t want you thinkin’ I have a- a thing for young ladies, it ain’t like that. It’s just,” he looked into your eyes, “you.”
You cracked a smile, “Yeah, I’ve never gone after an older man before.”
“I’d hope not. Even most of these grown men ain’t good enough for you.”
You quirked an eyebrow, “And what’s good enough for me?”
“I could be, if you decide to keep me around,” he winked. “But hey, I mean it. If you start feelin’ like this isn’t the right thing for you, tell me. Please.”
You nodded, even though the notion sounded impossible. You wanted Joel with a ferocity unlike anything you’d felt before. Now that you’d had a taste of him, you needed more, even if blindly going after him made you look like a dog chasing a squirrel. For the first time, you wondered what your friends would think of it. Or your parents- would they wonder in bewilderment what had possessed you to seek out a single father? But they didn’t know Joel, you were sure that anyone who stepped into your shoes could understand why this man had you obsessed. Despite your insecurities, you were confident that he would be attentive to your needs. You looked into his eyes intently, “I trust you, Joel.”
He took it as a warning. “I know you do. And I don’t take that lightly.” He shifted in his seat, ruminating on whether you knew what you were getting yourself into. He didn’t want to deny your autonomy, but god, he didn’t want to be the reason you felt trapped down the line. And most of all, if it turned into a burning mess, he didn’t want to get Sarah tangled in it. But the way you were looking at him, those eyes were his weakness. How the hell was he supposed to deny himself of you when you were giving him that goddamn look, eyes revealing that you were so eager to please, dying to be something real to him.
“You check me if I’m outta line,” he poked your nose. The way you scrunched it had him falling faster than he thought possible.
“Oh, that’s my new favorite excuse.” Your voice turned parodic, “Joel, you can’t make me do the dishes, that’s taking advantage of me.”
“God, you’re gonna kill me, girl.” His warm laughter filled the kitchen, filled your heart. He stood, pulled you to your feet and into an embrace. You buried your nose into his neck. His lips pressed a kiss to the crown of your head.
You sighed and mumbled into his skin, “I should probably get going, huh?”
He tutted in disapproval, “Go take a shower. Help yourself to my clothes.”
You pretended to contemplate, then said, “If you insist.”
In the shower, you reflected on last night, and finally recalled falling asleep on top of Joel. He’d probably carried you to bed. You cursed yourself for not being awake to remember the feeling. He’d probably lifted you into his arms like you were made of feathers. You focused on washing your hair to avoid getting too worked up, reaching for Joel’s shampoo yet again. Logically, you understood how one thing lead to another since the last time you did this, but emotionally, you could hardly comprehend how one phone call generated this sequence of events between you two.
The striking sense of deja vu followed your path back into his room. You rooted around his dresser, picking out a T-shirt and sweatpants. Pulling them on, you giggled to yourself, remembering your date banter about him wanting to see you in his T-shirt. You’d obviously meant it in a much less innocent way, but you supposed this counted too. While you were at it, you couldn’t resist the urge to snoop a bit. It seemed like he kept his room tidy, save for a few pairs of socks discarded on the floor. You slid open the nightstand drawer, not expecting much, but found some neatly folded clothes that didn’t look like his. In fact, they looked a whole lot like yours. Pulling them out, you confirmed, they were the clothes you had on the night Joel picked you up. You’d ultimately forgotten to retrieve them. You put them back as they were, deciding that your wardrobe didn’t miss these particular garments that much. But more so, you liked knowing that Joel kept a piece of you here, in his space, close to him.
Upon your return to the kitchen, he smirked at the sight of you, his shirt hanging loosely off your frame. You knew he’d like it. He leaned against the counter, nursing a second cup of coffee, “What you feelin’ like for breakfast, beautiful?”
You shrugged, “Anything.”
“You gotta gimme a real answer, darlin’.”
“Let’s do your favorite, I’ll help you make it.”
“Bacon and eggs it is, then.”
He was about to tell you where the pans and utensils were, but he watched you move around his kitchen with efficiency, already knowing which cabinets to reach for. He loved seeing you be so in your element in his house, like you lived here.
The moment felt insulated from the world. You, swaying slightly as you tended the stove. His hand on the small of your back as he moved behind you.
At some point, Joel snuck in some toast and fruit that you didn’t notice until you sat to serve yourself.
“When did we end up with such a spread?” you asked, baffled.
“When you weren’t lookin’,” he answered with a cheeky grin.
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You sat on the couch, struggling to stay focused on an assignment. The minutes crawled by, the afternoon sun casting sidelong shadows of everything in your apartment.
Your eyes lit up when the phone rang, a welcome distraction, and all the more welcome to see it was Joel calling.
You quickly picked up, “Hi!”
“Hey darlin’, whatcha up to?”
“Just finishing up some homework. What about you?”
“Sittin’ here in my empty house.”
“Sarah’s not back yet?” you asked, surprised.
“She was back for a couple hours, then left again to a friend’s house. She’s really been into sleepovers lately.”
“That’s cool,” you tried to sound nonchalant. “So, what, you want me to keep you company?”
He heard your smile through the phone. “You got me there. You can, uh, bring over your work if you’re busy, I don’t mind.”
Your heart tightened knowing that he didn’t mind if your attention wasn’t on him, he enjoyed your presence all the same. You liked the thought of doing your assignments at his place, but you knew you definitely wouldn’t have any hope of concentrating. “I’m almost done with this, let me finish and I’ll be all yours.”
He liked the sound of that a little too much. “Alright darlin’. See you soon?”
“Within the hour.”
“I’m countin’ down the minutes.”
You rushed through the rest of your assignment, crossing your fingers that your professor would get bored halfway through and skim over the drop in quality. You practically threw yourself into your car, only realizing that you hadn’t changed out of Joel’s clothes once you were too far from your street to care. Whatever, as if he would mind.
You arrived at his house, opening the unlocked door with a clammy hand. Here once again, with Sarah gone, just the two of you. After your conversation this morning, you weren’t quite sure where you two were going from here, and you were anxious to find out. You stepped into the living room, not finding him there.
“Hi Joel,” you called out.
You jumped a bit when a pair of large and strong arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you backward into him. His chest was so warm against your back, easing the tension in your spine.
He leaned down and kissed your temple, “Missed you honey.”
“Missed me? I was only gone for a couple hours.”
“Too many,” he mumbled into your neck, planting a kiss there.
Your heart fluttered. You hadn’t expected Joel to be such a lover, already treating you like his one and only.
“Have you eaten, baby?”
“Not since our breakfast.”
“You hungry?”
“I could go for a snack.”
“Then we’ll get you a snack,” he led you by the hand to the kitchen.
You sat yourself on the countertop while he grabbed something from the highest shelf. His shirt rode up a bit, and you got a delicious view of his skin. 
“I hide these up here so Sarah doesn’t get to ‘em,” he pulled out a box of chocolates.
“Ah, secret stash. Should’ve kept it hidden from me too.”
“You’re allowed to know,” he winked.
You reached to grab some, but he intercepted your hand. He held one in front of your face, and after a moment of staring blankly, it clicked, and you promptly opened your mouth.
He smirked, and barely whispered, “Good girl,” but you heard it loud and clear. He popped the chocolate into your mouth. It was dark, you thought you recalled him saying he didn’t like things that were too sweet. You hummed in enjoyment.
You noticed a smudge of melted chocolate residue on the pads of his index and thumb. A devilish idea occurred to you, and you held back a smirk so as to not reveal your plot. Feigning innocence, you took his palm and pulled it to your mouth, closing your lips around his finger.
He froze, eyes locked on your face.
You swirled your tongue around his finger, licking off the chocolate and savoring the taste of his skin under the sweetness.
He slowly pulled his finger from your mouth to replace it with his thumb. His index, still wet with your saliva, curled under your chin, tilting your head up while bringing his thumb up to your lips. Looking at him through your lashes, you sucked off the chocolate, teeth gently grazing the ridges of his fingerprint. He almost wanted to laugh in disbelief, laugh at himself for not giving you enough credit. You devious little thing, you knew exactly what you were doing.
“What game are you playing, hmm?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you narrowed your eyes at him, as if offended by the question.
“I know you want somethin’. What are you tryin’ to get out of me?” He came to stand between your legs, hands planted on the counter at either side of you, caging you in.
“Nothing. Seems like you want somethin’.” Your hands laced together at the back of his neck, drawing him in closer.
His eyes raked down your figure, pupils wide and dark. For the first time, you identified lust in his gaze. You wondered how many times you hadn’t noticed it.
Your lips met in an ardent kiss, and your tongues quickly found each other. His hands roamed your hips and waist, fingers pressing into your soft flesh. You felt the warmth of his skin slide under your shirt, but just barely.
You had him figured out enough. For all his flirting – and much as you wished he’d do as he pleased with you – Joel was too cautious, you’d have to draw it out of him. You nudged his hands to go further up, and with the encouragement, his large palms smoothed over your back– strategically braless.
A groan vibrated in his throat, and he detached his lips from yours just far enough to mumble, “That what you want?”
You looked deep into his eyes, testing the connection, seeing if he could read you.
He could. Like a fucking book. And from that gleam in your pupils, he knew exactly what you needed. He asked in a teasingly coy tone, “Want me to make you feel good?”
You bit your lip and nodded, buzzing with anticipation.
Immediately, he picked you up off the counter, palms spread over your ass and squeezing. Your arms clung to his neck as he carried you to his room.
He laid you on the bed, holding himself over you. His lips trailed from your face, down to your neck, nipping at your collarbone. Once he heard you taking deeper breaths, he leaned away to stand. You propped yourself on your elbows, watching him with curiosity mixed with disappointment. You voiced your dissatisfaction, “Why are you so far?”
Standing above you, he raised a brow. He grabbed your legs from the back of your knees and yanked you to the edge of the bed. You released a small yelp at the suddenness, but it only added to the desire swirling in your stomach.
“Better?” He splayed a large hand on your chest, pushing you back onto the mattress. He kissed a path from your mouth to your ear, and whispered huskily, “Or you want me closer?”
Your hands twisted in his shirt, wanting to pull him against you, but he was moving away again… only to kneel between your legs. He rested his cheek against your thigh, giving you a sultry look.
He toyed with the waistband of the sweatpants. “You look real good in my clothes, baby. Planning on stealin’ these too?”
“I didn’t steal them, just… haven’t given them back.” You could hardly string the sentence together with his knuckles running along your hips.
“Sure. Might as well take them back now,” he started tugging down the sweatpants, “y’know, ‘fore you forget.”
Past your knees, off your ankles, discarded on the floor. His lip curled at the sight of your little blue panties.
His hands slid under your shirt, pushing it up and finding your heated skin. Your heart raced and you clutched the fabric, “I think I wanna keep this on.”
His eyes flickered to yours, “Whatever makes you most comfortable baby. Can I still touch under there?”
“Please,” you nodded. It wasn’t that you felt particularly shy, the truth was, it turned you on more to have Joel doing this while wearing his shirt. It made you feel claimed.
You felt his breath against your thighs as he spoke, “I’ll go real slow baby, you let me know how I’m doin’.”
You nodded, heart racing with anticipation.
“Need you to use your words, baby.”
You swallowed thickly, then found your voice, “I’m ready.”
He looked down at the dark wetness staining your panties. His eyes flicked back up to yours with a smirk, “I can tell.”
He hooked his fingers into the waistband, and slowly, so damn slowly, pulled them down, revealing you to him. You felt his breath against your pulsing heat, “You’re gorgeous baby.”
His hands slid up your thighs, pushing them apart. With each thumb, he spread your pussy lips open. He groaned at the sight, “So pretty baby…”
Gingerly, you threaded your fingers through his hair. He looked up at you expectantly, a small smile on his face that you found reassuring. “Let me take care of you, sweetie.”
You gave him a small nod, and he dipped his head. He licked a thick stripe through your folds, eliciting a whimper from you. It reached a higher pitch when he attached his lips to your clit. Responding to your noises, he devoted his attention to your clit, licking and sucking at a pace that soon had you whining. One of his hands snaked up your torso, under the shirt, until it reached the softness of your breast. His thumb circled your nipple, adding to the warmth pooling in your loins.
He lifted his head briefly to check in, “How you feelin’ honey?”
“Good, keep going,” you rushed out, tugging at his hair.
He chuckled, “Yes ma’am.”
He replaced his tongue with his fingers, sliding two of them up and down through your wetness, circling your clit and teasing your hole.
“Joel, please,” you moaned.
“Please what?”
You whined in response.
“Gotta use your words, baby.”
You tilted your head back onto the pillow, faced with the ceiling. “I need your fingers,” you choked out, cheeks heating at the words.
He hummed, index and middle still giving attention to your clit. “Look at me,” he commanded.
You looked down at him between your thighs, and once your eyes locked, he began pushing in one thick digit. You moaned, eyelids threatening to close, but he captured your gaze again with a low voice, “Keep looking at me darlin', that’s it… good girl.”
Once his finger was up to the knuckle inside you, he started pumping in and out at a measured pace. When he reattached his lips to your clit, your head fell back and a long moan escaped your throat. His tongue swirled ceaselessly around the bud, making your hips squirm.
Slowly, he pulled his finger almost completely out of you, and you felt a second prodding for entry. They pushed in slowly, allowing you to relish the stretch.
“Joel,” you whimpered in a way that had him grinding against nothing. He pumped his fingers at a faster pace, needing to hear his name pass your lips again.
He curled his fingers up, and you clenched around him with a high pitched moan.
“That’s the spot, huh?” He looked up at you mischievously, “Yeah, I know.”
His other hand continued playing with your nipple. With your own hand, you pulled the shirt higher, exposing your plush tits. He suddenly pushed himself up, eagerly attaching his mouth to the swell of your breast. He pressed wet kisses down one side, nipping and sucking just hard enough to leave a few purple marks. His fingers never stopped massaging that perfect spot inside you, rapidly pushing you toward the edge.
“Joel- fuck- ” you panted, “I’m so close.”
He brought himself back down to your pussy, taking in the sight of you dripping around his fingers. He flattened his tongue against your clit, and the sensation made you jerk your hips up.
“That’s right baby, get yourself there,” he rasped.
You gripped his hair, grinding on his tongue. His fingers stroked your g-spot further with every movement. He had you right where he wanted you, thoughts reduced to nothing but his name.
“Joel,” you moaned brokenly, eyes rolling back. Your orgasm rippled through you, had you arching your back and curling your toes.
“So sweet,” you felt him mumble, his lips never breaking contact with your pussy. Like a man starved, he licked you clean, lapping at your juices. You whined every time his tongue brushed over your sensitive clit, hardly allowing you to come down from your high. You tugged at his hair, and he reluctantly lifted his head from between your thighs.
He kissed a trail up your torso, chest, neck, and finally reaching your lips. He kissed you softly, slowly, tenderly. But even through your hazy mind, you dared not think lovingly.
“What about you?” you panted.
He smoothed your shirt down and moved you onto your side, pulling you into his chest. “Don’t worry about me sweetheart.”
“But I wanna return the favor,” you mumbled into his chest.
“You’ll get to another time, I just wanna focus on you.”
You relented without much of a fight, still dazed and sleepy from your high. The steady rhythm of his breathing soothed you.
“I’m gonna fix us some dinner, how about that?”
You made a small noise of disapproval, curling further into his chest. He chuckled quietly, rubbing your back.
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mirrorballhughes · 1 year ago
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I MISS YOU IM SORRY
luke hughes x adelaide hunter
starting us off with a good old instagram edit, some text messages and a lil in real life !! so enjoy :)
adelaidehunter
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liked by stormallen, jackhughes, _quinnhughes and 115,130 others
adelaidehunter AHHH. words can not express how excited i am to say MY DEBUT ALBUM “good riddance” is out june 21st!!! ALSO “where do we go now?” is out TONIGHT AT MIDNIGHT!!
its difficult to imagine these songs living anywhere other than my most secret places, but rutger is my biggest supporter and reminded me that holding space for brutal honesty in songwriting is kind of the whole point.
i feel an unbelievable amount of gratitude for the opportunity to have made this album. writing this record allowed me to grow up in ways i needed to. it forced me to reflect and be accountable. it allowed me to walk away from versions of myself that i no longer recognize. it allowed me to let go.
also a big shoutout to my sister thats not blood, storm. shes one of the few people in this world capable of making others feel safe to their core when they are exploring the parts of themselves that are most raw. storm is rare and generous. im so glad you are my roommate, but fuck the canes btw!! ;)
thank you all for the support!!! im so nervous. im so relieved. i hope with my whole heart that theres something in here that makes you feel less alone. ill be thanking you all for the rest of my life for taking this record and making it yours!!! JUNE TWENTY FIRST!! AHHH see you at midnight!! <3
tagged: stormallen, rutgermcgroarty
COMMENTS
_quinnhughes Della!! I’m so proud of you! Cant waif to celebrate with you :)
adelaidehunter QUNNIIE!! thank you. see u soon
jackhughes Adds so proud of you.
adelaidehunter thx jacks. see u soon :)
user2 this album is gonna be so good.
user5 anyone think its gonna be about luke…
user6 u might be on to something..
user10 but his brothers commented??
user13 they are family friends, grew up together.
User30 Oh ik that tension in their summer lake house is gonna go CRAZY.
rutgermcgroarty STAR IS SHINNING !!
adelaidehunter thx!
stormallen MY GIRL!! I CANF WAIT TO LISTEN ( already have)
rutgermcgroarty yeah me too u arent special!
edwards.73 HEY I HEARD IT ASWELL!!
umichhockey i think we all heard it🙄
adelaidehunter I LOVE U STORMY!!
mackie.samo are we ignoring the fact that adel went out of her way to reply using the umich account?
luca.fantilli its lemonade she can do what she wants!
adamfantilli mackie dont be a hater now, ur just mad that u missed the listening party!!
umichhockey thx you fantilli twins!! :)
luca.fantilli we arent twins lemonade
adamfantilli last time i stick up for you.
adelaidehunter NOOO IM SORRY🙁💔
dylanduke25 good riddance: said to express relief at being free of a troublesome or unwanted person or thing.
user5 DYLAN???
adelaidehunter LMAOOO. duker thats crazy
seamuscasey26 DUDE THATS FOUL.
markestapa addieeeee LETS GO?? Im screaming at u
adelaidehunter IM NOT even WITH U??
markestapa okay.. u might be
user1303 WHAT.
lhughes_06 cant wait to listen. proud of you adelaide.
user3343 THE “ADELAIDE” HURT ME.
user559 shes definitely not replying to this!
caleb.hunter um im ur biggest supporter???
adelaidehunter thats true! i love u
user34 IM GGIGLING AHE TOTALLY SKIPPED OVER LUJES COMMENT.
user32 UR SO RIGHT OH MY GOD SHE DEFINITELY SAW IT
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hughes hunter moment !!
quinn: caleb just got here. now where are u della??
jack: YEAAAH. where are u missy???
quinn: jack. we arent playing bad cop good cop.
jack: i know that??
quinn: god ur annoying
adelaide: im pulling in right now.
enough fighting please.
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IN REAL LIFE!!
adelaide just parked her car, grabbing her bags from her car. she took in her surroundings, taking a deep breath in and out. the hughes hunter lake house was always her favorite place to be. something about this time seems different. the blonde let go of the negative energy before walking to the door. she opened the door, backing up feeling the door handle opening up from the inside.
“oh. hey adelaide. thought u were the pizza guy.” the youngest hughes brother was standing at the door, causing adelaide to go mute. “QUINN MOVE! IM TRYING TO GET TO THE DOOR. CALEB STOP HIM!” she heard the middle hughes brother say. “here do you want me to help you-“ the curly haired boy asked, “no its fine thanks.” the blonde spoke quietly walking into the house carrying her stuff in. “ADDS!! move LUKE!” jack said causing luke to move out of his way, the youngest brother was stood there admiring the girl.
luke checked up on adelaide a lot. always watching her stories, seeing her posts just never reached out. luke noticed how her hair still had little bits of brown in it from when she dyed her hair right after the two broke up. luke watched the two interact hugging each other and smiling. luke wished that was him. “shes my sister, why didnt i get the first hug?” caleb spoke as him and quinn finally moved over to where the group was. “she likes me more thats why cal.” jack said causing adelaide to roll her eyes, giving her brother a hug then hugged quinn. her and luke locked eyes, the three guys standing there noticed the love spark that were still there between the two.
the blonde girl broke the eye contact, “ill be back down. i gotta get unpacked.” she said shooting a small smile to the group of guys who nodded. there was a knock at the door, “great timing! the pizza here as well!” quinn smiled pushing luke to get the door as he was impatiently waiting for it. addie made her way upstairs smiling trying to make this lake house vacation will as best as she could.
caleb was at her door, seeing as though she finished packing. “you okay?” that caught adelaides attention, “im fine why wouldnt i be?” she said sitting down on her bed caleb following after her. “um i dont know, maybe its because of some certain boy downstairs? who you have been friends with since forever and then ended up to-“ “okay enough!” she said causing her older brother to laugh. “okay fine sorry! but if you ever wanna talk just let me know. im here for you, a.” the glasses wearing boy said, as the two hugged each other.
the hunter siblings went downstairs sitting at the bar with the hughes brothers already digging into the pizza. “so della how excited are you for your album and song release?” the oldest hughes brother asked, causing luke to feel smaller and tense. he was there when adelaide was writing the music, she told him about some of the songs. but once they brought up, luke knew she had to have some gut wrenching song written about him. sure he was nervous, but he would always be proud of her for any and all of her accomplishments.
“oh! im so excited, but nervous. it does feel good to have it released out to the world instead of being stuck inside with just me.” she said looking over at luke whos head was low, then brought her attention to grabbing some pizza. “so “where do we go now?”whats that gonna be about?” jack asked knowing most of her songs had meaning, jack always adored adds music he has to be her biggest supporter. “its basically me reflecting back on all the little white lies in a one-sided love that beamed as bright red flags, finally leading to ending things. and the question of where they should go, start afresh or not, looms over this delicate ballad, though remains unanswered.” she said causing luke to look up and then quickly brought his head down. “oh well i cant wait to hear it! any songs about our good man luke here?” jack asked causing luke to look up and glare at the older boy. adelaids face flushed, “you dont need to answer that a. jack is just picking.” caleb said sending the boy a wtf look.
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bullet-prooflove · 2 years ago
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Botany: Angel Reyes x Reader
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Tagging: @witches-unruly-heart @annetje @infinity-mars @danzer8705 @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @the-wandering-lunatic @anime-weeb-4-life @vannabanana1995 @multifandomloversworld @camelia35 @harperdoodle @queeniesdiary @laylasbunbunny @est1887 @briefpersonenemy @lilvampirina @creativitybeware @genius2050 @mortal--soul @buddinglinguist @spookyboogyuniverse @spaghettificationandpretzels @nu1freakshow @oureternalbond  @rubes2323
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Angel always washes his sheets when he knows you’re coming over, there’s something about being surrounded by the scent of fresh laundry and you that completely ruins him. He finds he sleeps better in clean linen, and it becomes a weekly thing instead of fortnightly, even when the two of you haven’t made plans.
He drinks less these days, his fridge actually full of food instead of orange juice and beer because he likes to make you breakfast in the aftermath, sometimes you like to cook when you come over. He enjoys having you around, he looks forward to the nights where you’re his and only his.
There’s a domesticity to the relationship, one that he’s never allowed himself to have before. The women he’s been with since Luisa are fast and fleeting, a place to drown himself when the world becomes too much to bear, and he needs to lose himself.
It’s when he comes home to you, wrist deep in dirt, pulling weeds from the flower beds that line the front of his house that he realises how serious shit has got between the two of you.
“Sorry.” You tell him, using the back of your hand to brush a strand of your hair away from your face. “It’s been bothering me for a while.”
“Yea, no it’s fine.” He tells you, kneeling down and taking up residence next to you. He looks at you wearing one of his shirts thrown over a strap top and those Levi’s that fit you just right. You’re completely in your element, your face streaked with soil, hair tied back as you work. His lover, the kush farmer, the gardener, the botanist.
“We need to prep the soil.” You tell him, letting the gritty, dry earth slip through your fingers. “All of this is devoid of nutrients, I’ll get some compost from the farm, maybe some manure from the horses up by Riz’s place, dig it out and liven it up a bit. Is that ok with you?”
“What will you grow?” His voice rough as he speaks because he’s never had someone so invested. He thinks it means that you’re here to stay because you know, he sure as shit has no fucking idea how to keep something other than himself alive.
“I was thinking we could choose something together.” You say, nudging your shoulder with his. “Play into your vibe, probably some succulents and cacti. I don’t think you’re a lilacs kinda guy, although they are a great pollinator, you’d probably end up with some butterflies and bees. They’re pretty good at smothering weeds too and the smell when summer hits…” You trail off, your cheeks colouring as you tilt your head to meet his gaze. “Sorry I’m getting ahead of myself. Your garden, your rules.”
Fuck you’re captivating to watch. He doesn’t know anything about this horticulture shit but for you it’s a passion, you light up when you talk about it, you’re in your element with your fingers in the earth. He doesn’t know what the hell he did to deserve you.
“I love you.” He blurts out suddenly and he expects you to be taken aback, to reel away from the force of the words that leave his mouth.
“I know,” You tell him, a smile gracing your features as you take in his surprised expression. “You think I don’t see it?”
He’s got nothing to say to that, he really hasn’t. He knows he’s not the most forthcoming of men, he plays his cards close to his chest when it comes to his feelings because he’s been burned before. However, he is impulsive, emotion driven, he feels deeply. He’s not surprised that it bleeds into his physical actions.
“The shit you do for me, it means the world. Making sure I eat in the morning, when you know I’m about to spend a day in the fields, giving me a ride home when I’m too tired to function, running a bath when you know I’m sore. I’ve never been with someone so attuned to me. So, yea, I love you too, and this…” you point at the flowerbed. “is my way of showing it. I’m just really shit at expressing myself, hence why I’m letting you pick the plants instead of just throwing myself into it.”
He laughs because what you don’t realise is that all of these things you’ve listed reflect the shit you do for him. The nights you hold him close in the darkness after he’s had a nightmare, hands soothing over his back as you whisper in his ear, the fact you know he always needs physical reassurance when the two of you are together. You never judge him for it, you never make him feel needy or clingy.
“C’mere.” He mutters, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and drawing you close. You smell like fresh earth, musky and rich, he buries his face in your hair, the contours of your body fitting perfectly against him.  “I love you and you can plant whatever the fuck you want.”
Love Angel? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.
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aanoia · 1 year ago
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So I love speak now (Taylor’s verison) and like I was lowkey hopping for you to do a better than revenge (Taylor’s version) for Sirius black/James potter x reader please?
HII THANK YOU FOR THE REQUEST so so sorry it took me a few days to get out, I hope you like it
Better Than Revenge
Sirius Black x reader words; 2,380 warnings; cheating, fake blood, reader is kinda a dick but its deserved ig uhhh idk how i feel about this fic, so give me some feeback please (if it's not the usual i provide please tell me so I can figure out what's wrong) but IM BACKK i stopped writing for a few days because I've had so much going on lately. I hope you guys enjoy though I know that as I wrote the first part of this yesterday there was something I wanted to mention up here but I can't remember so if something doesn't make sense than ig that's it also yall im so drained and overhwelmed right now so the stories will be coming out slower (they are what make me feel better, so i want to do im not gonna force myself too, they'll just take a bit longer to create) if you love a song, the marauders era, and my writing, request a song fic and your wish shall be my command. enjoy my loves
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Now go stand in the corner and think about what you did
Ha
Ha-ha, time for a little revenge
The story starts when it was hot, and it was summer, and
I had it all, I had him right there where I wanted him
I smiled happily as I walked onto platform 9 ¾, hand in hand with my boyfriend, Sirius Black. The group had hung out this summer and Sirius had finally asked me out. After what felt like a lifetime of waiting, he was finally mine. And only mine. At least, that’s the impression I received.
We greeted our friends we hadn’t seen since the year ended, and I didn’t fail to notice the way Sirius dropped my hand to tightly hug a blonde I had never met. I narrowed my eyes slightly, and it seemed James had the same idea as we shared a weird look. 
She came along, got him alone, and let's hear the applause
She took him faster than you could say "sabotage"
I ran into the Gryffindor common room, shock filling my veins as the painting slammed shut behind me. I stood in the entrance silently, mouth open and eyes focused on a piece of thread which was unraveling from a pillow on the ground.
“Y/n?” Remus asked as he, James, and Peter all walked over to figure out what was going on. 
“What happened?” Peter asked, scratching his arm lightly.
I looked at James and shook my head, tears threatening to spill. His posture deflated in defeat as his eyes widened.
“He didn’t? Did he?” 
“Who did what?” Remus asked, looking back and forth between James and I as the door flew open.
“Y/n-”
“Don’t.” James cut him off, gently pulling me to the side and stepping in between us. “Just don’t.”
I never saw it coming, wouldn't have suspected it
I underestimated just who I was dealing with (oh)
She had to know the pain was beating on me like a drum
She underestimated just who she was stealing from
“I’m not just gonna let her slut around and steal my boyfriend, James.” I explained and he shook his head. 
He sent me a teasing smile, “Whatever happened to girls supporting girls?”
I rolled my eyes, “Nothing. It’s girls supporting girls. Not girls supporting whores.”
“What has that man done to you?” Remus asked, shaking his head.
“He’s broken me, duh. And I’m gonna show both of them not to break things that aren’t theirs.”
She's not a saint, and she's not what you think
She's an actress, whoa
“So, Miss Standley, could you show us your potion?” The potions professor asked and the blonde nodded and stood up.
I winked at James as she began explaining what she did, he rolled his eyes, “So first, I put in diced Mandrake, and it has to be diced because if you just slic-” She was cut off by a yelp as her potion exploded in her face, the green goo covering her entire body. The entire class laughed as I silently slid my wand back into my pockets, missing the glare Sirius sent my way.
The girl ran out of the classroom, Sirius following after her, but not before making sure I saw the glare he sent my way. I smiled with a laugh, simply waving my hand and winking at the boy as he passed by.
He was a moth to the flame
She was holding the matches, whoa
“She what?” I asked Remus with wide eyes and he groaned.
“Don’t be so loud.” He pleaded, looking around to make sure no one heard him.
“She kissed you?”
“Yes.”
“And he breath tastes like garlic?”
“I’m gonna kill you.”
I shrugged with a smile, “At least we know she isn’t a vampire.”
Soon she's gonna find stealing other people's toys
On the playground won't make you many friends
She should keep in mind, she should keep in mind
There is nothing I do better than revenge (revenge), ha
“What are you doing now, Y/n?” Peter asked, causing Remus to look up from his book mid bite and James, who had his arm around Lily, to look over.
I smirked as I watched Sirius and Dolores together, and it only widened as she picked up her goblet to take a drink. I silently mutter an incantation to make her pumpkin juice turn to rum, causing yet another explosion and black soot to darken her face and hair. James and Peter bit back laughs as I sat proudly, arms crossed as people once again laughed at her. Remus just rolled his eyes and continued reading, only slightly finding this situation amusing. 
She looks at life like it's a party, and she's on the list
She looks at me like I'm a trend, and she's so over it
I think her ever-present frown is a little troubling, and
She thinks I'm psycho, 'cause I like to rhyme her name with things
I once again smiled proudly as people wore buttons around the school, telling people to vote Y/n L/n as Gryffindor prefect. 
I looked up from the small Bowtruckle I had found on a tree as a shriek filled the hall. The Bowtruckle crawled under my sleeve in fear of the annoying sound. Before I could stop myself, I laughed loudly as I saw Dolores fuming over what the buttons turned into when she came near them, Sirius stood beside her, trying to calm her down. Dolores Clitoris (horrible rhyme but it’s the best I got).
Her head snapped towards me, her face became unbelievably red, a vein popping out of her neck as she stormed over, Sirius trailing behind her like a lost puppy.
“You!” She screeched, pointing her finger at me as she fumbled to get her wand. In a moment, she put her wand up only to be met with mine already in her face.
I grinned, “Better think about your next move here, sweetheart. I’ve won against you in duels for DADA multiple times.”
She glared heavily, “Yeah well, you’re just a jealous bitch who couldn’t keep a boyfriend.”
I fake pouted at her, “Awh, you’re so cute. You enjoy your little puppy, I must be off.” I said, stepping to the side and grabbing my bag. As I walked away I paused and turned back around. “Oh, and, you were barely a hard component in getting prefect. I would have rathered some competition, but we both know what you did to them.” I smiled and she looked at me in shock. “Yeah, that’s right, I know what you did.”
But sophistication isn't what you wear or who you know
Or pushing people down to get you where you wanna go
They didn't teach you that in prep school, so it's up to me
But no amount of vintage dresses gives you dignity (think about what you did)
“Peter, what the hell happened?” I asked as I burst through the infirmary doors. 
“Y/n, chill out.” James said immediately.
“Was it her?” I asked quietly and he nodded. I looked at Peter in sympathy, knowing she did it only to get back at me.
“Don’t you worry though. She looks worse.” Remus added and Peter smiled at me. I quicked my brow as my eyes wandered to Dolores on the bed, a small cut on her eyebrow as her eye area puffed up largely.
I rubbed Peter's shoulder excitedly, “I’m so proud. I feel like a proud mother.”
She's not a saint, and she's not what you think
She's an actress, whoa
He was a moth to the flame
She was holding the matches, whoa
“No, he can’t know.” I heard a familiar voice whisper and I looked up from my potions essay.
“Dolores, I don’t like sneaking around with you. It’s risky.” Another voice said from behind the bookshelf.
“Baby, I’ll break up with him soon. Don’t worry. Just don’t leave me.” She whispered again and my eyes widened. Why am I not surprised?
Soon she's gonna find stealing other people's toys
On the playground won't make you many friends
She should keep in mind, she should keep in mind
There is nothing I do better than revenge (ha-ha)
“I’m serious. She’s cheating on him, guys. I don’t know what to do.” I told the three boys as we sat in an empty classroom.
“I think it’s time we join you in your pranks.” James decided and I smiled.
“I haven’t heard a smarter thing come from your mouth, Potter.”
“Oh Godric, I’m in.” Remus said begrudgingly and Peter nodded with him, saying he was in too.
I'm just another thing for you to roll your eyes at, honey
You might have him, but haven't you heard?
“There you go, sweeties. You know what to do.” I said quietly as I set down a mama Niffler and her babies, the small group immediately filing through the cracked open dorm of Dolores’ room.
I gave James a thumbs up and he nodded, standing in front of the girls stairway as I also snuck into the room. I cringed as I heard the god awful singing of Dolores and carefully opened the bathroom door. I snatched her clothes and quietly muttered a spell which would turn her water into fake blood in five minutes. Which means I had to be quick. I threw the clothes into the bag I had put an enlargement spell on on the inside and went to her dresser before stuffing all her clothes in it. I locked her friend's dressers with a spell only I could undo and snuck back out after carefully setting the Nifflers - who had gained quite the collection of shineys - into the bag.
I made it out just in time as the moment the door clothes loud screams rang out. I ran down to James who was talking to an angry Sirius. Sirius took a moment to look between James, me, and the bag in my hand while he listened to his girlfriend's cries. I looked at him hard and simply shrugged before walking past him and sitting on the couch, thanking Peter for the Nifflers and Remus for the bag as loud footsteps came down the stairs. I sniggered as Sirius gently led Dolores up the stairs to the boys dormitory, the rest of the Common Room laughing at her crazed figure that was barely covered with a towel. Oh how much fun that was.
I'm just another thing for you to roll your eyes at, honey
You might have him, but I'll always get the last word
Whoa
(Come on, can you take it back?)
(Come on)
“You’ve got some real nerve.” A cold voice said and I jumped slightly, thinking I was alone in the common room. I looked up from my book to see Sirius glaring at me from the bottom of the boys stairs.
I laughed, “Do I?”
Sirius rolled his eyes and stepped forward, “Yeah, you do. You’re just a jealous prick.”
I snorted as I stood from my comfortable spot on the couch, “That’s not how you talk to a woman, Mr. Black.”
“I don’t care. You an arse to someone who doesn’t deserve it. Someone who's kind!”
I scoffed, “That girl is far from kind. You know it.”
“You don’t know her!” He said, raising his voice slightly.
“Yeah, well, you don’t know her either, Sirius!”
She's not a saint, and she's not what you think (no)
She's an actress, whoa (you know that you deserve it)
He was a moth to the flame
She was holding the matches, whoa
“And how the fuck would you know?” He fully yelled this time.
“Oh, I don’t know, man. Did you know she tried to kiss James?” 
Sirius scoffed, shaking his head, “You’re a liar.”
“Maybe. She also put Peter in the infirmary.”
“He gave her a black eye!”
“Because she attacked him, for fucks sake!”
“She said he attacked her and you put him up to it!” He yelled and I barely picked up the sound of footsteps scrambling down the stairs.
Soon she's gonna find stealing other people's toys
On the playground won't make you many friends
“And you’re going to believe her over your best fucking friend? I mean, you’re goddamn delusional, Sirius.”
“And you’re jealous!”
She should keep in mind, she should keep in mind
There is nothing I do better than revenge (ha-ha)
“Goddamnit, she’s fucking cheating on you! She’s cheating on you, and you fucking deserve it. And I hope you two know that I’m not fucking done. I will not stop until I’m satisfied.” (I will never be satisfied, he will never be satisfied!) I yelled and stormed past him, hitting my shoulder roughly against his and ignoring the soft calls of Remus and Peter as James went to Sirius.
Do you still feel like you know what you're doing?
'Cause I don't think you do, oh (no, no, no, no)
Do you still feel like you know what you're doing? (No)
I don't think you do, I don't think you do (come on), let's hear the applause
“So, David, is it?” I asked the boy as I sauntered up to him, my button up purposefully unbuttoned enough to see whatever cleavage I had. 
The boy looked me up and down with a smirk, “And to whom does it concern?”
I fake laughed loudly, jokingly pulling on his tie, “Me of course!” I said in a sickly sweet voice, cringing inside at myself.
“What do you need, beautiful?” He asked as the doors to the library opened, in the corner of my eyes I saw Sirius and Dolores walk hand in hand. Bingo.
Come show me how much better you are (feels so much better, yeah?)
See, you deserve some applause
'Cause you're so much better
“This.” I whispered and pulled him in by his shirt, smashing my lips. I smirked as a broken gasp filled the quiet area, barely opening an eye to see Dolores standing with tears filling her eyes, and Sirius looking confused. I closed my eyes, deepening the kiss as I raised my middle finger to the two. Paybacks a bitch.
She took him faster than you could say "sabotage"
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desultory-suggestions · 4 months ago
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hi there, thank you so much for running this blog! i have been following you for a long time and appreciate what you do so much, and i’ve been struggling with something and was looking for an ear or some advice so i thought i would come here.
this summer has been pretty hard on me mentally for a few reasons. being back home with family, as I live across the country for university and even studied abroad this semester, it’s always an adjustment living with people I love but sometimes struggle dealing with. i’m also back to an environment where I have no strict schedule, less friends, no privacy, no personal space, etc., and i got pretty sick for a portion of the summer.
this is my last summer before i graduate and i put many expectations on myself for how it would go (fun/personal life wise, but also academics/career wise). despite this sense of urgency and also these expectations, this past month of june i basically just rotted away in my bed, feeling depressed and anxious and not really doing anything about it. i did go out and about a few times and even got myself hired for two jobs, but there were so many responsibilities i ignored while rotting away and just feeling miserable for myself. now im finally clawing my way out of this hole i dug for myself, and im realizing how much i screwed myself over—all of the things i need to do would have been so much easier and enjoyable (!!!!!) had i not procrastinated. it feels like my memory for june is mainly just a haze when it could have been so great.
my question is—how do i cope with these feelings of self-disappointment, and almost self-disgust for the time i lost? for the moments i could have been better but didn’t? how do i cope with the knowledge that my summer could have looked totally different now, and that the power was in my hands to change it? the rest of my summer is looking pretty busy as i scramble to pick up the missing pieces, and im sad because i wanted it to feel special since it’s my last summer of university. any time i acknowledge the challenges i faced and the victories i did have just feels like making excuses for myself.
anyways, sorry for this ramble, and thank you for your time! i hope you are doing well and enjoying yourself.
Hello, dearest. First of all I want to tell you that I am so proud of you. I know right now you’re struggling with these heavy feelings, and it’s important to know that despite your inner struggles you are seen and loved and respected by those around you.
It sounds like you have worked very hard and been very busy for a long time. I know as a full time college student myself that the amount of work expected of us is often unbearable. People talk about it like a simple process, a part time commitment. It is not! You have been working a constant minimum of a full time job, plus additional work for pay, plus travel, plus family and friends needs, plus basic self care. Of course all of this can be so overwhelming and lead to a sense of burn out. Changing the language you use is giving reasons is not making excuses. Cultivate a mindset of correcting yourself:
“I’m making excuses -> I’m acknowledging the challenges and moving forward.”
I found quickly into college my high achiever mindset flipped into a constant sense of failure. I felt like I couldn’t do anything right, and like I just fell behind everyone else I respect. I wallowed in this for far too long, so trust me when I tell you not to spend all your time worrying about the past. Everyone has had a time like these, sometimes weeks, months, and sometimes years. But it is never too late to change the present and future.
You may not feel like it, but if summer meant laying in bed and barely doing anything maybe that’s what you needed. If your body and mind were too beaten down to do much, that’s not your fault. Remember that you are just one person, and this was one summer. You will have countless more summers to live out your dreams. Summer 2022 I barely left my room, depression, anxious, I pretty much rotted in bed! I was burnt out and struggling. Summer 2023 I worked my ass off at my new job, made friends, and started going to parties and even a music festival. Summer 2024 is now, and I’m in a solid mix of work, school, friends, and working to take care of myself. Life will not always look how we imagine it too, but often it will turn out much better.
Nothing that has already happened can be changed, all you have power over is the current and the future. Tons of people express the same sentiment to me
“I didn’t do X and now all I do is Y and it makes me feel Z so I don’t do X!”
And I totally understand! But this is the trap right here! This is what resembles the grave but isn’t! The more time you spend contemplating what you should have done the more past you create where you didn’t do what you wanted. It is so important to develop the ability to go “oh well, what do I want Now?” This takes practice. When you catch yourself in the internal doomscroll of all that you should have done, literally say “oh well, that’s the past. What do I want to do right now and how can I do it?”
Actions you can take:
- Make a list of goals you have tiered by right away, short term, medium term, and long term. Make sure to include a tier for goals that feel impossible! You’d be surprised what you can do!
- Start by picking one thing you want to change. Go on a walk every day, listen to an audiobook or music on that walk. Bam! Two enriching activities at once. Cook one new recipe a week or every other week.
- When at home from school, work to establish your independence in the home. This is hard! Family dynamics vary, but if you can, try to communicate with your family about personal space and boundaries. Perhaps rearrange your space at home to fit your needs as a more adult space while still maintaining your nostalgic environment.
- Cultivate a positive mindset and excitement for what comes next. This summer is not just an end, it’s a beginning! What do you want next? You can have it if you believe in yourself.
A final piece of advice. I started college with such high hopes and dream of what it would be. The summers with friends, late night studying in the library, goofing off between classes, getting to be this dream idealized self. For various reasons, this didn’t happen. I felt so angry that my experience with college had been tainted and forcefully taken from me, and I stayed angry for a while. This constant obsession with regret starts to eat you alive until you can’t see how good things are right in this moment. This did not get better because I somehow changed the past, it got better because I accepted that this was an idealized dream of one tiny part of my life. It got better when I started aiming towards the future. It’s ok to feel sad that you didn’t get what you wanted, but that doesn’t mean you never will. I am happier for moving on and saying I’d had enough grieving a hypothetical. You are real, you are young and alive and filled with dreams. It will never be too late, and there is nothing you could have missed this summer that cannot be achieved in a happier and healthier situation.
Start making today special. You are filled with light, dreams, and love. You will create the life you dreamed of, filled with adventure and happiness. Treat yourself tenderly, this is your first time being alive, the first last summer of college. You are learning and growing. I am so proud of you as you are now, and all that you will become. Keep the sparks alive, and I’m always here if you need someone to support or another senior in college to lean on!
I hope this helps!
Evan
P.S. here’s a poem that’s helped me!
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minstrel-in-the-gallery · 4 months ago
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For the hang with me thing (sorry I didn't see it sooner!):
Tell me a bit about what your hobbies are and your interests if that's not too personal :) otherwise there's option b), about what topic would you like to see another Monty Python film? You can also answer both 💚
Thank you for the ask!!! 🫶 I’ll answer both!
My interests are basically exactly what I post on tumblr lol! Mostly Jethro Tull :3 I have very intense interests so I tend to care about 1 particular thing rather than lots of small things.
Other interests I don’t really post about is AFL, I love watching the footy! And cricket when it’s summer. I myself don’t play any sports but I lift weights sometimes. I like a little bit of history, but I’m not very knowledgeable at it so I don’t mention it too much. I did study Alexander The Great, though! I also enjoy dolls, which I feel is a very random interest but I really like Rainbow High, lol! Actually, I enjoy a great deal of kids shows, particularly aimed for little girls. I think it’s cause I love being able to engage with stuff I couldn’t really when I was little.
My hobbies are mainly just drawing, writing (which I’ve been doing a lot of lately!) and playing bass (though I’ve been slacking lately, uh oh). Im ashamed to admit I don’t do much 😭 I’m also learning languages, Japanese and Dutch, though I don’t do it very often. I’m also thinking about picking up German (my dads family is from Germany) but 2 is quite enough for now xD
As for what topic I’d like a Monty Python movie on… good question! I really like the long cohesive movies like LOB (compared to MOL), so definitely something like that. I think it’d be cool to be their interpretation of a mystery movie! Perhaps like a 40s mystery 🤔
Thanks for the ask 💛💛💛
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in-halingstardust · 4 months ago
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Hsr male matchup plz
Mild-medium is good
Gender: cis female
Pronouns: she/her
Sexuality: heterosexual ally
Zodiac: Capricorn
Appearance: 5’2 African American hourglass body (although I’m more top heavy if you know what i mean) black curly wavy hair blackish brown eyes chubby cheeks wears glasses sometimes (im far sighted so it’s usually when driving in class or at the theater)
Mbti: infj
Enneagram: 2w1
Personality: kind smart funny motherly responsible empathetic anxious emotional moody perfectionist helpful people pleaser caring compassionate nerdy curious protective polite respectful indecisive fearful nervous introvert shy awkward clumsy low self esteem low confidence (more pertaining to my talents or personality then my looks) sassy sarcastic (I’m mainly these things with people i feel comfortable with like friends or family) soft spoken cute (my friends think im cute because i can be pretty innocent plus I’m small physically)
Likes: animals books reading writing fantasy magic sci fi anime music video games friends alone time learning personality quizzes sweets and bread helping being a part of something bigger than myself
Dislikes: spiders loud sounds people who harm others people who don’t take others into consideration (like make insensitive jokes or don’t consider the comfort of others or are mean just cause they can) people i care about not caring for themselves (im a hypocrite on this i take care of everyone else but not me) not being listened to weird holes and patterns math and tests (I’m being tested for a math disability and i have test anxiety)
Love language:
Giving: acts of service gift giving and physical affection (if they’re ok with it)
Receiving: words of affirmation and physical affection (although i can be shy about it)
Extra: i pace a lot i sing when im alone i talk to myself im a picky eater (mainly with textures) i have a cat i have minor ehlers danalos (a hyper mobility disorder) but it doesn’t hurt me like it does my sisters i get abdominal migraines which is basically like a migraine but instead of headaches it’s nausea
Thank you
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I ALSO FORGOT TO QUE I am so sorry. I did not forget about you!
Also ehler danalos sucks, I'm so sorry that you sister gets migranes also, my family also has chronic issues that make it difficult to go through life normally!
Anyway! I'm going to paire you with Argenti!
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You both are in pursuit of something greater than itself. A distraction from the world maybe, but a principle connects both in this relationship 
It’s not complicated. Really. The first thing that attracted Argenti to you was your voice, especially when you sing. He loves it when you sing. Though never ask him to duet, music is one subject he is quite terrible at. 
Your relationship with him is basically him courting you until you feel comfortable enough. He brings you different types of flowers, not only roses, and explains each individual meaning. Oh, this week's bouquet means longevity, happiness and heart. I thought it fit well with the theme of summer, he says snipping off the roots before placing them in a vase. 
Lots of long talks over the phone. Lots of enjoying each other's company. Nothing too hardcore, maybe a nice performance that Argenti would find and no one else. For real, I feel he find the most strangest, yet professionally good, orchestra concerts known to man.
Surprisingly, not that much PDA. Everything he has for you is shown within the privacy of your own enviroment. Soft, chaste kisses, the way he fiddles with the end of your hair and a comforting hand against your arm.
A little spicy -> He likes tugging on your lips in between kisses. Really enjoys how red they turn and the way you look flustered.
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i love to imagine the boys with a friend who’s parents own a ranch, or just being on a ranch. it feels like it’d be adorable chaos.
Dally is afraid of horses. he can’t stand them BUT cause he always wants to seem all tough and cool and whatever he always helps feed the cattle (which happens to be at the top of a field and you can only take the horses there. over time he warms up to the horse he normally takes and after a while you can see him just riding it around the ranch for fun. he’s still afraid of all other horses though
Darry would do anything that needs strength of course, like carrying feed bags n stuff. he’d be great help. he’d also probably make snacks for everyone at least 4 times a week. darry just loves to bake ok? leave him be.
Two-Bit is probably my favourite. he doesn’t mind horses and will go out to the stables every once in a while, he likes to brush them and braid their manes. his favourite are the dogs though, im imagining you have maybe 3 dogs? something like a collie, working dogs yk? either way you can find two running around with them, then lying in the grass while they attack him with hugs n stuff. UGH I CANT TWO IS SO ADORABLE.
you won’t see soda during a day at the ranch. the first day he was there he claimed a horse and every time he’s there now him and this horse spend the day together. he takes it out on a walk or whatever it’s called, brushes it and feeds it a few sugar lumps. at the end of the day don’t be surprised to find them in some field asleep, both of them, soda probably uses the horse as a pillow.
Ponyboy isn’t a big fan of being out on the ranch all day but he won’t mind it so much if there’s a big tree somewhere. he’ll sit under it and read a book or he’ll paint the view. he enjoys that more than the being out doing work or being out on the horses. though he might pop into the stables to draw some of the horses, maybe to a field to draw the cows too.
Steve spends the day on the tractor or something. need the grass cut? steve’s on it! need a field ploughed? steve does that too. Need to bring some feed up to the cattle really far away? you guessed it, steve! he just loves driving, but i do think he’d spend some time with two and the dogs, as well as some time with the cattle. i feel like if it was the time of year where there’s some calves on the ranch he’d be out there, and he’s really gentle with them too which shocks most people since he’s so energetic.
and johnny,, i’m sorry i can never think of anything for johnny i just don’t really like him 😭 but he and pony would be similar, he’d sit under a tree and watch everyone, or maybe he’d be trying to figure out a book. i think that if you asked for a hand with anything he’d be on the job though. maybe he’d make y’all some lemonade if it’s a hot summer day, you never know.
i have a lot of thoughts and i just love them.
If there’s one thing I’m passionate about, it’s cowboys and ranching. Take a seat, get a drink. This is gonna take a while
Dally’s problem with the horses is that his cool, tough guy act doesn’t work with them. They don’t care who he thinks he is, they’re just horses and they act how they wanna act. This man makes friends with one horse, totally horse girl style. It’s gonna be that one trouble horse that nobody else could bond with. Dal gets to where he can feed that horse sugar cubes out of his hand and the horse chews on his sleeves. Anyone else gets close to that horse? They’re gonna get kicked to kingdom come. But not Dal. He likes the cows. Will not offer to help milk if that needs to be done, but is willing to feed and likes to pat their heads, right between their ears
I just wanna say, I regularly carry 50lb bags of chicken feed by myself and those suckers are awkward to carry. If you lug feed, you’re strong. Also. DARRY IN A COWBOY HAT. DARRY IN A COWBOY HAT. He’s the most helpful around the ranch, honestly. Does most of the cooking. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He’s up with the sun and likes to stand on the porch with a cup of coffee and watch the cattle move around the fields. Listen, that man could bake for me any day. I’d buy him anything he wanted if it meant a chocolate cake waiting for me at the end of the day-
Two-Bit is my favorite and you’re literally so right. He’s into the horses, but he hates sitting in the saddle all day long. He’ll do tack though! Loves to saddle them up and kiss their noses as he slips the bridles over their faces. I freaking love farm dogs. He’d go nuts over a heterochromatic-eyed collie or one of those big mastiffs. Especially one of those cattle dogs. Aussie cattle dog? They’d be besties. They’d roll around in the grass all day and trail after him when he comes out to work during the day. He’s a big fan of the cows too, especially the little ones. The thought of him carrying around newborn calves is swimming around in my brain-
Sodapop does nothing but horses all day long. I don’t know if you know it, but that picture of the guy asleep with a cow and the cow has its head on the boy’s chest? That’s Soda and his horse. They’re inseparable and they do some crazy things. Sodapop dotes on that horse like it’s his baby. He leaves early to take the horse out, comes in late cause he was finishing with brushing out his horse. When he talks, it’s about the horses. He’s a horse girl and that’s it, y’know? He’s living his best life on a ranch! Maybe not as into the cows, but when he’s not with the horses, he’s hanging around Steve
Ponyboy doesn’t like the cows, doesn’t like the horses. Two’s got the dogs, so there’s not a lot left for Ponyboy. Yeah!! He sits under a tree, perches on a fence and watches the ranch. He reads most of the time, hiding in the shade and from whatever work someone’s gonna make him do. He makes a few pictures, Soda with his horse, Two-Bit under the squirming dogs, Steve on the tractor. They find themselves pinned up to the fridge for everyone to admire. He’s got a real touch for the horses though? He’s good at calming them? But he just doesn’t like them too much-
The ranch is the perfect place for Steve because the ranch allows for endless tinkering and fooling around with machinery. Boyo loves the tractor. He comes in to mealtimes, smeared in grease and grime. You’re constantly having to remind him to wash up before he takes a seat at the table. He likes the dogs! Probably befriends one of them and brags to Two-Bit that the dog likes him better. And, ugh, yes. Him and the calves. He’s really good at bottle feeding the ones who need to be. He’s got callouses, but he’s got the most gentle touch and honestly I want to kiss him so badly it hurts.
Johnny likes the horses, but most of the time, he’d rather hang out under a tree with Ponyboy and listen to the youngest Curtis read a book. He’ll do horse tack I think, but he’d rather watch them. Like Dallas, he’s a little afraid of the big animals, but won’t admit it. He likes the little dogs and the little calves and foals and stuff. Doesn’t like doing cattle runs. Will help though! Likes to help around the house and with the chores. I can totally see him sitting on the porch, watching a sunset and just letting it soak into his bones. There’s something about country sunsets, dude. Defo the lemonade maker though, defo on the lemonade.
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