#like if you're traveling during old years day we know what you're doing and thats okay | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

batarangsoundsdumb · 3 years

Text

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

#this is only like half of it #but at least you can get like a few answers #yanno fuck it #bataranswers #ask #asks #anon

219 notes · View notes

houseisekai · 3 years

Text

House Isekai: A Realm Reborn - Part 2, Through the Maelstrom (3 of 3)

House Isekai ARR Masterlist Here

—

Client: Hilda Valentin Goneril

Refusing to work with the newly reformed House Isekai due to Class VII, Duvalie takes her orders and storms off to Goneril territory, trying to get home faster. Not wanting to leave Duvalie completely alone, Raelyn and Fireteam Alpha-Nine accompany her.

Reports indicate of a giant serpent-like beast terrorizing the ocean trade routes near Goneril territory, and an unknown entity accompanying it…

[Respite and Sunlight - Fire Emblem: Three Houses OST]

The carriage carried a group of knights as it made its way towards the fishing town.

As the horses leisurely drew the carriage forth, the dirt kicking up on the path, the driver turned his head and shouted out.

(Driver) "We're almost there, milady."

Hilda sighed as she stretched, putting her head back onto the carriage.

(Hilda) "Finally. That took forever."

She looked around and noticed the two knights accompanying her were calmly sitting still, not saying a word.

(Hilda) "Am I seriously the only one who noticed?!"

(Knight 1) "No milady, we feel the same. Now isn't the time to be lax, however."

(Hilda) "Percy, I remember you being the one telling me that this town wasn't anything to be concerned about!"

(Knight 2) "It was, until that letter came in. We only put the request out three days ago, how could mercenaries possibly have responded that fast? And I do not like the descriptions of them either..."

(Percy) "I agree with Jonas. Tech that looks too advanced for random mercenaries to have? This seems like it's a trap..."

(Hilda) "I sincerely doubt the Separatists would cause any trouble for the Alliance. And what strategic importance would a fishing town like this have?"

(Jonas) "I think that's all the more reason to be wary, milady. Besides, orders from Lord Holst were specifically to-"

(Hilda) "Yeah yeah, I know, make sure I'm safe and everything. It's when we get out to the ocean, you guys can start doing your jobs properly."

Jonas looked at Percy, in which his response was just a shrug.

(Percy) "Hmph. I wonder what those mercenaries are like..."

...

Duvalie woke up and quickly looked around before her shoulders relaxed. They were still inside the building the Class VII members led them to.

Duvalie noticed the ODST's were already awake.

Dutch was near the window, looking at the small blue device curiously.

(Dutch) "Hell is this thing?"

It was making a small static noise, Dutch poked at it until Mickey came close and examined it himself.

(Mickey) "Looks like a jamming device of some kind."

(Buck) "Yeah, it's messing with my helmet's visor a little. You think a fishing town like this would have something that'd warrant a jammer?"

(Romeo) "Oh, you're finally awake."

The ODST's turned to Duvalie who picked up her sword and shield.

(Duvalie) "No one bothered to wake me up?"

(Mickey) "Hey, Fie's orders. Not ours."

Duvalie rolled her eyes and noticed Raelyn and Class VII were gone.

(Buck) "They said they were going out to patrol the area, wanted us to stay in here in case someone tried snooping around."

(Duvalie) "Guess that's fair enough."

Duvalie stood next to Buck, both of them not saying a word while Romeo cleaned his sniper and Mickey and Dutch were still examining the supposed jammer.

(Buck) "So...what exactly is your problem with those kids? If you don't mind me asking."

(Duvalie) "Ugh, we were enemies during a war, then we fought alongside each other and thats IT. Don't wanna talk about it. And we're NOT friends."

(Buck) "Alright, I believe ya. Dunno why you have to say it so forcefully."

(Duvalie) "Because it doesn't go through THEIR thick skulls! I DON'T LIKE REAN EITHER!"

(Buck) "Listen, Duvalie. I am right next to you. Stop frickin' screaming."

(Dutch) "Plus, you're making it harder to figure out what this is."

Duvalie and Buck turned to Mickey and Dutch who were still staring.

(Duvalie) "What in the hell is so fascinating about it that you two are still looking at it?!"

(Mickey) "Because, I don't think it's just a jammer. It's something else..."

That caught everyone's attention.

(Romeo) "...What makes you say that?"

(Dutch) "It's making some static noise, and it's sticky too. What kind of jammer is this small?"

(Duvalie) "Huh. I don't think we had anything like that in our world, so where did those brats...?"

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!

(Raelyn's voice) "We have returned."

The door opened with the members of Class VII and Raelyn.

(Fie) "Coast looks clear, and looks like we already got someone to help out with the Serpent problem."

(Buck) "Damn, that was fast."

(Raelyn) "I recommend we hurry, lest we make the townsfolk angry again."

Everyone grabbed their equipment and left the house, Class VII leading the way.

(Mickey) "Hey, so those blue things you put in the house, what exactly are those?"

(Laura) "It's best we not say just yet."

(Dutch) "That's...reassuring."

(Elliot) "Anyways, we visited the tavern from yesterday and he said someone wants to see us there."

(Fie) "And you can leave your weapons down, it won't be a fight."

(Duvalie) "What makes you say that?"

As they were walking to the tavern, Hilda and her two knights exited and saw them.

[Musica Universalis - Final Fantasy XIV: Shadowbringers OST]

(Hilda) "Oh my gosh!"

(Elliot) "Ha, aren't you a sight for sore eyes?"

(Laura) "It's been quite a bit hasn't it, Hilda?"

(Fie) "Yo."

Hilda smiled as she ran up and grabbed all three of them into a hug.

(Hilda) "It's so good to see you guys again!"

(Percy) "Hey...you were with the professor when you came to Derdriu all those years back!"

(Jonas) "Don't think we've seen their friends though."

Hilda noticed the new group behind Class VII and raised an eyebrow.

(Hilda) "These your friends?"

(Raelyn) "Raelyn Amuto, at your service."

(Duvalie) "...Duvalie."

(Buck) "Call me Buck. Squad behind me is Mickey, Dutch, and Romeo."

(Elliot) "Hopefully, we just got here super recently ourselves. Though, Rean and the others can watch over them."

(Hilda) "Wait, everyone else is here?"

(Raelyn) "Not exactly."

Raelyn quickly caught Hilda and her knights up to speed.

(Hilda) "I see...So it's happening again?"

(Laura) "That's what we're here to investigate. Originally we came here to see what was blocking communications from Sitri to us, and find out what teleported this group here."

(Elliot) "After a day of investigating, we think it may actually have to do with the serpent problem you're having."

(Buck) "Huh, isn't that convenient."

(Duvalie) "When exactly did this problem pop up anyway? We only got here three days ago."

(Hilda) "Hm...I think it was about a week ago. Same time Claude let us know something was coming from the Tower, actually."

(Romeo) "...Too convenient."

[Briefing Time - Trails of Cold Steel 3 OST]

(Raelyn) "It seems to line up with our arrival. Has there been anything in the past House Isekai and your Houses have fought that can cause this amount of trouble?"

(Hilda) "Too much to count..."

(Laura) "It wouldn't be the first time for us."

(Fie) "I think we can kill two birds with one stone here then. We can investigate that Serpent and determine if it has anything to do with our problems."

(Hilda) "Sounds good to me."

(Dutch) "So...how exactly are we going to fight a giant water monster? Our gear isn't equipped for aquatic fights."

(Percy) "We have that taken care of. We're going to use a boat and investigate it the old fashioned way."

(Duvalie) "...That is the worst idea I've ever heard."

(Buck) "Inclined to agree with the lady. That seems a good way for our asses to get eaten out there."

(Elliot) "I'm kinda drawing a blank on what else to do. It's not like they have any high tech boats."

(Jonas) "Unfortunately, he's right. All of our efforts on expanding our sea travel has been fruitless, or its too early to tell. It only has been two years before we began these projects."

(Raelyn) "Us Space Marines are engineered to breathe underwater."

(Romeo) "Damn, is there anything you guys can't do?"

(Raelyn) "Have good luck."

(Duvalie) "Was that a joke?"

Raelyn's head slowly turned to Duvalie.

(Raelyn) "It is the last thing I would joke about. You all being near me already carries a risk of a violent death, including myself."

(Dutch) "What, your gun malfunction on you in battle a lot or something?"

(Raelyn) "It is a curse our Chapter seems to suffer. For one reason or another, something unfortunate happens, and I guarantee you it will happen when we attempt to hunt this beast."

(Hilda) "Jeez, quit that downer talk, we'll be fine! We've survived plenty worse than just some monster. Heck, it's not even our first monster we've fought!"

(Laura) "If that is the case, where is this boat?"

(Percy) "This way."

Percy and Jonas led the way to the docks, everyone following them.

Fie looked behind them and saw a small boy and girl staring at them. Specifically Raelyn.

She noticed an older girl walk up to them, she couldn't be older than 15. Fie put a mental pin on them and quickly followed along.

The older girl knelt down to get on their eye level.

(Older girl) "Hey, why are you staring at them so intensely, they didn't say something to you, did they?"

(Young girl) "Nuh uh, Mila! The big yellow man was super nice!"

(Young boy) "Yeah, he helped her out and everything!"

Mila had short brown hair and a small stature, carrying two daggers on her back.

(Mila) "Did he now...?"

...

The group took an Alliance controlled ship out into the coast, being helmed by the local garrison.

They set out to the last known location to where this Serpent had been reported, which fortunately was only an hour away from the town.

The day was bright and the winds were strong, and not a cloud in sight.

They skipped across the waters with relatively little trouble.

Hilda stood next to Class VII while everyone else was scattered.

(Elliot) "Man, I can't remember the last time we've been out by the sea."

(Laura) "A shame it wasn't for a more pleasant reason."

(Fie) "Oh, hey Buck."

Buck walked up to Hilda, followed by Raelyn and Duvalie.

(Buck) "Mind if we ask you something, miss Hilda?"

(Hilda) "What's up?"

(Buck) "Who exactly are these Separatists your townsfolk are so quick to anger about? An insurrection?"

(Laura) "I remember hearing about it while we were investigating the area as well."

Hilda frowned and looked back out to the sea.

(Hilda) "After House Isekai left Fodlan, our three nations decided to form a temporary pact in order to fix the damages done by Those Who Slither and the Church. It...hasn't been easy.

For the first two years, the Empire and Kingdom were at war, until it suddenly stopped with the Church to be the ones on the offensive.

The Battle of Gronder had all our blood shed, and its nothing that everyone can easily forgive with how recent it was.

So when news that we'd all be fighting as one, it made our citizens outraged. The only people who knew the truth about Zanado and Byleth was our militaries..."

(Elliot) "So, these Separatists...-"

(Hilda) "They've been wanting us to split up and leave each other be, just like it's always been. The Alliance has a mixture of Imperial and Kingdom Separatists, and Claude has been doing his best to keep the neutrality. It hasn't been easy, in addition to the Zanado Tower acting up again."

(Raelyn) "Which is why you sent this letter of the Serpent to Garreg Mach, correct?"

Hilda nodded.

(Hilda) "And if it requires House Isekai's help again, I fear the worst..."

(Laura) "Rest assured, we will do everything in our power to help Fodlan."

(Buck) "Not sure how long we'll be staying but, might as well. It's either that or be stuck here."

(Duvalie) "Wait a second, if you guys were stuck here before and got out, then how did you get in?"

(Fie) "Teleportation with the help of the Doom Slayer."

(Hilda) "Wait, he was the one that set you guys up with that?!"

(Raelyn) "I am not sure who he is, but perhaps he can teleport us out of here."

(Buck) "With how troublesome everything sounds, I sort of doubt it'd be that easy to get out of here."

(Fie) "Only one way to try."

Fie reached out a small crest of House Isekai's logo and pressed the center.

...Nothing happened.

(Fie) "Uh oh."

(Duvalie) "W-What does that mean?"

(Elliot) "Huh? That's how we were able to teleport from our world to the base! Why isn't it working?"

(Hilda) "Does that mean you're stuck here too?"

(Buck) "Well, that's fantastic..."

Dutch, Mickey, and Romeo were listening into the conversation.

(Dutch) "They got Insurrectionists to deal with too?"

(Romeo) "Great, that means we'll be here even longer."

(Mickey) "Their teleportation isn't working, so what is the cause of-"

(Percy) "Hey, we need everyone up here!"

[Dark Clouds Gather - Fire Emblem: Three Houses OST]

The groups looked up and went to the top deck where the wheel was. Percy and Jonas stood near the captain.

(Hilda) "What's the problem?"

(Jonas) "The skies in front of us are suddenly starting to darken."

(Captain) "The weather the way it was, this was too fast for it to suddenly darken! Something's about to happen!"

(Buck) "...Motion tracker's picking up something!"

The ODST's turned on their visors, blocking out their faces while Raelyn silently looked at his tactical display.

(Raelyn) "I am detecting something as well."

(Romeo) "Hey, remember that conversation about your luck from earlier? Suddenly beginning to believe it..."

Everyone drew their weapons as the crew of the ship shouted, readying cannons and bows.

Hilda drew out her relic axe and looked in the water.

(Hilda) "Where exactly are you sensing this thing?"

The ODST's had their weapons drawn, slowly looking to their left. The movement was quickly circling around them.

(Elliot) "U-Um, how big is this Serpent, exactly?"

(Percy) "Not sure, reports are inconsistent."

(Raelyn) "If it is as big as we expect it to be, what's stopping it from tearing this boat in half?"

Raelyn readied his Bolter and quickly turned around to the back of the ship, finally seeing a shadow.

(Buck) "ON OUR SIX!"

Only the ODST's and Raelyn turned to the back at first.

It took everyone else a second to realize what Buck meant, turning around and facing the same direction.

[Wreck to the Seaman - Final Fantasy XIV OST]

The shadow quickly vanished underneath the ship, making everyone nervous of what its about to do.

The ODST's and Raelyn paid attention to their motion tracker, and realized it was suddenly in place.

(Romeo) "Why the hell's it stopping?"

(Raelyn) ...!!! "It's not! CAPTAIN, TURN YOUR SHIP TO THE RIGHT, NOW!"

The captain quickly got on the wheel and steered right, the wind forcing the ship to make a hard right.

From the waters emerged a massive serpent, the water splashing onto the ship and blowing back some of the crew members.

The waves rocked the ship violently, almost tipping it over.

(Elliot) "AGH!"

Elliot lost his footing and was about to go overboard before Dutch grabbed his arm.

(Dutch) "Hang on kid!"

The ship barely managed to balance itself, throwing itself back with a force that made everyone lose footing again.

Duvalie was the first to stabilize herself when she realized the serpent was staring at them.

As the serpent opened its mouth, it was about to strike before Duvalie leapt forward and hit its face with her shield, making it stagger back and roar in anger.

Duvalie used the force of her attack to launch herself back onto the ship, twirling her sword.

(Duvalie) "Little help?!"

(Percy) "FIRE THE CANNONS!"

Crew mates rushed to the cannons and lit the matches.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

The cannons opened fire, most of them missing their mark while only one managed to hit the torso of the beast.

Raelyn and the ODSTs rushed to the side and held the triggers of their guns, the bullets rushing towards the head.

The serpent dove underwater to dodge the gunfire.

(Crew) "IT'S COMING AROUND THE OTHER SIDE!"

Its head emerged from the water on the opposite side of the ship, its head about to strike into the heart of the ship before Laura ran to the middle and swung her sword upwards, the blow knocking it away.

Fie used her gunblades to fire at its head as well, but the bullets deflected off the scales and it dove back underwater, this time no one being able to see where it went.

(Buck) "Dutch, Mickey! Heavy weapons, NOW! Romeo, crow's nest and snipe that son of a bitch!"

The ODST's nodded and quickly did as they were told, Raelyn going to Duvalie with his Bolter still raised.

(Duvalie) "Hey, Amuto, got any ideas?"

(Raelyn) "One, but with my luck-"

(Duvalie) "Grr, SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR BAD LUCK! It's either that, or we let the ship get torn in half!"

(Raelyn) "If that is the case, please hold onto this."

(Duvalie) "...Wha-"

Raelyn put his bolter into Duvalie's arm, almost making her tip over from the weight.

(Duvalie) "HUARGH!? H-HEY...W-WHAT TH HELL?!"

(Raelyn) "I will be right back."

Raelyn pulled out a knife and looked over to the side.

(Hilda) "H-Hey, what's the yellow guy doing?!"

(Elliot) "Huh?"

Elliot, Fie and Laura turned around and saw Raelyn peeking over the edge.

(Fie) "What is he...?"

(Laura) ?! "WAIT, ARE YOU GOING TO?!-"

(Raelyn) "BROTHERS, SISTERS! PREPARE FOR ITS RESURFACING!"

[Through the Maelstrom - Final Fantasy XIV OST]

Raelyn hopped over the ship's edge and dove straight into the water.

He quickly looked around, and noticing a shadow emerging from the depths as it was rushing upwards at him.

He did everything in his power to swim away from the ship and-

(Buck) "The hell is he-"

Everyone saw Raelyn shoot upwards as the Serpent's mouth grabbed him, the Space Marine now in its teeth.

Although it tried to devour him, the armor's weight and size made it extremely difficult to do so.

(Elliot) "OH AIDIOS!"

(Percy) "Is he insane?!"

(Romeo) "QUIT STARING AND FIRE DAMN IT!"

Romeo cocked his sniper's handle back and pulled the trigger, the shot ringing out across the air as the bullet attempted to hit the wildly flailing serpent.

Raelyn was being thrashed around, the teeth unable to go through his armor. He swung his knife into the beast several times to no effect despite it piercing the scales.

(Raelyn) "INCOMING!"

Having no option, he grabbed the beast's upper jaw and slammed his fist onto it, the force of the blow knocking the beast's head onto the ship.

The ship almost submerged itself into the water from the sheer weight of the serpent's head.

Everyone managed to keep their footing, letting Duvalie, Hilda, and Laura strike fast.

Duvalie dropped the Bolter and let it slide onto the floor as she stuck her sword into the teeth, breaking a few off and letting Raelyn awkwardly roll out of it's grasp.

Hilda smashed it's skull with her axe overhead, Laura swinging her sword sideways to strike at its mouth.

It recoiled back in pain, tipping the ship over again.

Raelyn was about to get on his feet before the cannons from the right side slid over and hit him back into the water.

(Hilda) "Wow, he wasn't kidding!"

The Bolter slid over into the water and landed near Raelyn, which he quickly grabbed and looked for the serpent again.

It was coming through the other side, but it was only now he realized how huge it was.

The tail was coming near him, and he rushed over to grab it as the tail violently dragged him along the water.

Dutch grabbed a Spartan Laser while Mickey had a rocket launcher, both of them checking their motion trackers.

(Buck) "Right side!"

Romeo reloaded his sniper and quickly spun around, being the first one to see the serpent emerge and fly towards the boat.

(Romeo) "It's gonna ram us!"

(Dutch) "Like hell it is!"

Dutch's Spartan Laser began to form a red line as it whirred up making a high pitched activation noise.

Mickey fired first, the rockets flying off and trying to lock onto the serpent. They went into the water as it nimbly swerved to the left and right, the waters catching the explosion.

Raelyn held on as the water's currents fought against him, using one hand at a time to climb up the serpent until he got near the eyes.

The pupil looked directly at Raelyn and widened, realizing he was there.

Raelyn's hand with the knife stabbed directly into the eye, making the serpent thrust upwards into the air, roaring and shaking into the air.

(Dutch) "GOTCHA!"

With another second passing, the Spartan Laser shot out a force even stronger than the cannon, a burning red beam of death searing through the Serpent's skin, making it drop into the water dead.

(Buck) "Good work, gentlemen."

(Elliot) "Whew, is everyone okay?"

(Percy) "Check on the equipment and for any wounded!"

(Jonas) "Captain, get us closer to the body we need to-"

Jonas stopped midsentence when he looked up.

Percy noticed it and turned around, seeing what he was staring at.

[Blinding Indigo - Final Fantasy XIV: Shadowbringers OST]

"An assassin from our homeland? Or a foolish trespasser upon these waters?"

(Jonas) "What in the hell?!"

(Percy) "SOMETHING'S UP HERE!"

(Buck) "OPEN FIRE!"

Fie and Buck pointed their guns and pulled the triggers, the bullets passing through the aquatic creature's body, letting them drop onto the floor, water splashing from the impact.

"Very well. Then Her power shall crush the miscreant that dares pollute these waters."

The creature began glowing, making the clouds above them start pouring rain and the water glow as well.

The Serpent Raelyn was still attached to started glowing a pale blue, the wound quickly regenerating. He was quick to aim his bolter and open fire on it, but had no effect.

Hilda and Laura ran up to it with their weapons swinging overhead, it quickly teleporting away as it vacantly stared at them.

Elliot was about to cast a spell with his staff until he realized the rain was forming puddles on the ship, slowly bubbling.

(Elliot) "Uh, guys?!"

Birds made of water emerged from the puddles and flew at Elliot, the force of the impact making him fall onto the floor.

Romeo immediately turned his attention to the bird and pulled the trigger.

The bird exploded into water, it calmly splashing down onto the ship.

Hearing something behind him, he reached for his pistol and spun around, pulling the trigger.

The bird exploded, and it was then he realized a puddle was beneath him.

From the puddle emerged a wolf-like creature that leapt up, knocking Romeo off the tower.

Before he could land, Duvalie caught him and set him down to the floor and raising her shield as the wolf leapt on top of her.

Its teeth was made of water as well, but Duvalie didn't want to find out if it hurt just as bad as a real wolf, so she plunged her sword into its body making it explode.

Mickey switched to an SMG and opened fire on the other puddles before anything else could show up, Buck and Fie joining in while Hilda, Laura, Jonas, and Percy fought other wolves.

Dutch was about to switch weapons before hearing the water explode behind him.

The Serpent was glowing the same blue as the winged creature, Raelyn still on top of it, stabbing it with his knife.

(Dutch) "Oh for the love of-"

He aimed his Spartan Laser at the Serpent again, only for the shot to be taken and hitting birds that flew in the way.

Elliot rushed over and healed Romeo of any injuries, making him push away the staff.

(Romeo) "Stop healing me and get to killing these things!"

Romeo reloaded his pistol while Duvalie dispatched of another wolf that was trying to attack from behind.

(Duvalie) "They just keep coming!"

Meanwhile, Raelyn lost count of how many times he stabbed the head of this beast, it would not stop moving.

It tried ferociously to be rid of Raelyn, eventually dunking its head back underwater and using the tail to swipe him off.

Raelyn flipped several times underwater, trying to steady himself as the Serpent bit Raelyn again, this time half his body inside it's mouth.

He said nothing as he remained calm, putting his bolter into the mouth before he was thrown out of the water and into the air.

Raelyn broke through the top deck and landed onto the bottom, creating a massive hole on the top part of the ship.

The Serpent's tail slammed onto the side of the ship as it wrapped its head around to the front deck of the ship.

Dutch aimed the laser at the head, until realizing it was too close to the ship.

(Dutch) "Damn it, I'd just rip this ship apart if I took the shot!"

Fie hopped onto the Serpent's back with both her gunblades anchoring her onto it, making it twitch only a little.

She pulled the triggers several times as the bullets went into its body.

It loosened up its grip on the ship, Laura using her sword to chop off part of the tail, making it roll over and tripping some of the crew and water-formed creatures.

Buck picked off one target after the other, struggling to reload.

A wolf jumped onto him, the teeth scraping against his helmet's visor as he grabbed his knife and plunged it straight into its neck, making it disappear.

As he got up, he noticed that the winged creature only staring at them.

(Buck) "The hell is this thing?!"

Elliot tried to heal any injured crew member he could while Hilda, Percy, and Jonas covered him.

Slamming his spear into a wolf, Jonas turned to HIlda.

(Jonas) "What do we do?! There are too many of them!"

The ship slowly began to crack loudly as the serpent's grip refused to let go.

(Captain) "At this rate, the ship is going break!"

(Percy) "Wait, wheres your yellow friend?!"

(Duvalie) "Think we saw him make a hole into the lower decks!"

(Dutch) "Then what is he-"

Cannons fired onto the serpent's side that was directly next to the ports, before an entire cannon was thrown out, a rope attached to it making the serpent drop from the weight.

It finally loosened its grip and struggled to get the attached cannons off of it.

(Raelyn) "The rope will not hold, TAKE THE SHOT BROTHER DUTCH!"

(Dutch) "GOTCHA!"

Dutch grabbed his Spartan Laser and charged it, aiming at the head.

Multiple puddles formed around Dutch before the others rushed to it and stuck their weapons inside.

As several birds were about to fly into the shot again, Raelyn emerged from the lower decks and opened fire with the bolter, the shots thundering out and completely shattering them into droplets.

Dutch's Spartan Laser kicked back as the beam hit his target, its head being completely blown off, making the serpent's body go limp and dissolve into the water.

The winged creature suddenly stopped glowing, making the ODST's spin around and open fire, the bullets going into the creature.

Hilda, Fie, Laura, and Duvalie swung their weapons at it, the streaks of their weapons severing it.

Elliot's staff formed into a violin-like shape as he casted a spell that formed a circle of light, blasting upwards and making the creature finally dissipate into the air.

[End Song]

The weather finally began to clear above them, everyone now trying to catch their breath.

(Dutch) "Lord, can you please get us out of this ocean now?"

The ship began to making an uncomfortably loud screeching noise before crewmates were on it, trying to fix the damages.

(Dutch) "...So was that a yes or no?"

An explosion occured where the serpent's body was, a mixture of the rain and saltwater pouring down onto them. A tiny rainbow formed from the storm in sight of the direction back to the town.

(Dutch) "...Amen."

(Fie) "Ugh, finally."

(Elliot) "That wasn't like anything we fought before..."

(Hilda) "Whew...to be fair, don't think we ever had to fight in the ocean."

(Duvalie) "So, do any of us have an idea of-AAAAAGH!"

Duvalie suddenly fell to one knee, grabbing her head.

(Buck) "H-Hey, what's-URGH!"

Buck quickly followed suit, then the ODST's fell to one knee as well, mimicking her action.

The members of Class VII and Raelyn were soon to follow, their heads pounding as their vision suddenly faded to white.

...

It was an empty lake with a strange platform in the middle, the sun was bright and the skies only had a few clouds.

And going towards that platform was a blonde-braided man and a small floating companion.

(Paimon) "Hm...Is it a good idea to mess with this?"

(Aether) "It's where the villagers told us that this...thing was, so it's not going to get rid of itself.

(Paimon) "Yeah, but still-"

Before they could continue their conversation, they heard something appear behind them.

It was a small floating creature with a staff, laughing maniacally.

(Aether) "Damn it, why now?"

Aether's sword materialized into his hand and was about to swing before a bright light appeared in front of them, catching the both of them off guard.

(Abyss Mage) "Eh?"

(Aether) "What the?-"

The bright light made the both of them step back, Aether accidentally triggering the platform, and the weather suddenly clouded up.

(Paimon) "Uh oh!"

(Aether) "Damn, now we have to deal with this-"

Before he could finish, the bright light exploded and made the air push them back, before slowly pulling them in.

The Abyss Mage and whatever was summoned with the platform was sucked into the light.

Aether and Paimon came dangerously close to before he shot a powerful gust of wind out of his hand, making him fly further back as the light quickly disappeared.

The weather returned to normal as he got up trying to catch his breath.

(Paimon) "What the heck was that?!"

(Aether) "I...I have no idea..."

Everything started to turn into a static mess as Aether and Paimon slowly faded out of view...

...

(Hilda's voice) "Hey...HEY!"

Everyone's vision returned to them as they looked around confused.

(Percy) "What was that about?"

(Buck) "Alright...we all saw that too right?"

(Duvalie) "Agh...you mean that lake platform thing...?"

(Laura) "I...saw it too!"

(Raelyn) "As did I...None of us possess any psychic abilities I am unaware of, correct?"

(Mickey) "If I had the ability do that crap, I would've in that fight!"

(Hilda) "What are you guys talking about?!"

Everyone turned to Hilda and her knights. It seemed they were unaffected.

(Fie) "You...didn't see that?"

(Hilda) "No, you guys just all reached for your head at the same time!"

They all looked at each other now.

(Elliot) "Was that some kind of dream?"

(Dutch) "Looked more like a memory to me."

(Romeo) "Memory of what? Who the hell were they? And what was that winged bastard we were just fighting having to do with that?"

(Jonas) "Captain, take us back to port."

(Captain) "No need to tell me again. RAISE THE SAILS, LET'S GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"

Everyone slowly rose up, with Raelyn helping Duvalie up.

They all remained quiet on the ride back.

An hour passed as they finally reached the shore, reaching for their heads.

(Laura) "If we go to another ocean, it will be too soon..."

(Fie) "Let's go head back to the building and-..."

Fie frowned as her ARCUS unit was now beeping.

(Fie) "...Someone's been inside."

They all reached for their weapons and slowly approached it, including the door.

Percy and Jonas quickly scattered the townsfolk, Hilda drawing her axe and joining them.

The ODST's went near the door and silently held up their weapons, turning to the others and nodding.

Duvalie raised her shield and was the first one in, kicking down the door and drawing her sword.

(Duvalie) "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!"

(Mila) "AAAAAGH!"

The young girl fell backwards, completely terrified of all the weapons suddenly pointing at her.

Romeo and Raelyn looked around the room to make sure no one else was present.

(Fie) "Hey...you're that girl who was talking to those kids."

(Mila) "I-I'M SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN TO MAKE YOU ANGRY! I WAS JUST CURIOUS!"'

Fie turned to the blue devices she stuck on the walls and back to the girl.

(Mila) "U-Uh, I was just wanting to talk to the big yellow guy!"

Everyone turned to Raelyn, who looked back at the girl.

(Raelyn) "...What is it?"

(Mila) "I-I was just wanting to thank you for helping those kids? From yesterday?"

(Raelyn) "...Ah. I do not believe she means us harm."

Everyone slowly put away their weapons while Raelyn took off his helmet and knelt down.

(Raelyn) "Why did you break in here?"

(Mila) "The door was open, promise! At first I checked to see if you were home and...well, then I got curious."

(Elliot) "You could've gotten hurt! You're lucky it was just us, I don't think other mercenaries would be nice enough to let you go unscathed!"

Mila was about to say something before noticing Hilda.

(Mila) "M-MILADY!"

She quickly scrambled to get on one knee before Hilda sighed.

(Hilda) "Hey, come on kiddo. Get up, no need for that around me."

(Mila) "Are...are you guys just mercenaries?"

Raelyn cleared his throat to catch her attention.

(Raelyn) "Yes, we are. Do not mistake our intentions, we were just for the coin. But...give the children my regards. My name is Raelyn. Yours?"

(Mila) "M...Mila."

Raelyn nodded.

(Raelyn) "Then I will see you home. Everyone else we should prepare to get moving."

(Buck) "Right. Pack it up ladies, let's get ready to move."

(Dutch) "On it."

Mickey and Romeo nodded and checked around the house for leftover equipment.

Duvalie shrugged and stood in the corner with the members of Class VII. Hilda stayed with them as Raelyn walked out with Mila.

Fie activated her ARCUS unit and checked the screen.

The blue devices started to beep rapidly, making everyone turn around to see what the noise was.

(Mickey) "So...now can we know what that is?"

(Fie) "Yup. First we just gotta get away. No evidence and all that."

(Mickey) "...Oh, that explains why it looked familliar."

(Duvalie) "Huh? W-What is it?"

(Buck) "...Are we safe-"

(Fie) "I gotta push the button first. We're fine. We put these here last night in case we had to leave early."

(Elliot) "We made sure this building was abandoned and out of the way of everyone."

(Hilda) "Uh...what are they talking about?"

(Laura) "We have our things, let us get moving."

...

Raelyn walked alongside the girl, his helmet underneath his arm.

(Raelyn) "Mila, do your parents know you like to snoop around like this?"

(Mila) "Hah...y-yeah. It wasn't for anything bad, I promise!"

(Raelyn) "Hmph. Those children, who are they to you? Siblings?"

(Mila) "Nah, they're orphans. From the war..."

(Raelyn) "War?"

(Mila) "You know...the Five-year war? The one with the Church and Empire?"

(Raelyn) "Ah. My apologies, it seems I forgot."

(Mila) "Are you really mercenaries? Figured you would've remembered that at least."

(Raelyn) "...I am. My age is getting the better of me is all."

Mila raised an eyebrow at Raelyn's half assed excuse.

(Raelyn) "Regardless, you did not answer my question."

(Mila) "Oh, right. Well they were kids that were on the streets for a while. None of us really knew what to do, so I became friends with them! They ended up following me around everywhere for the past three years."

(Raelyn) "Then you have a good heart it seems. What are their names?"

(Mila) "The boy is Emil, and the girl is Lena."

(Raelyn) "Well then, take care of Emil and Lena. They are going to need you for the coming times."

(Mila) "Yeah..."

Raelyn stopped following when Mila approached a door, assuming it to be her house.

(Raelyn) "Take care then, Mila."

(Mila) "W-Wait, where will you guys go?"

(Raelyn) "I cannot say. Wherever the wind takes us I suppose."

(Mila) "Will...we see you again?"

Raelyn put on his helmet and turned to her.

(Raelyn) "If the Emperor wills it, then yes."

(Mila) "Emperor? Like, Emperor Edelgard?"

(Raelyn) "Er...different one."

KABOOM!

Raelyn turned to the source of the explosion, seeing his group semi-casually walking away from it.

(Mila) "What the?!"

(Raelyn) "Get inside. I will investigate."

Mila nodded and quickly went inside while Raelyn walked over to the group.

(Citizen) "Good goddess, the building collapsed on itself?!"

(Citizen 2) "No one was hurt, were they?"

(Citizen 3) "N-No, just-" cough cough "Some dust!"

(Fie) "Aaaand that's your answer to what they were."

(Duvalie) "Bombs?!"

(Laura) "We wanted to cover our tracks."

(Raelyn) "Would that not make them suspicious of us even more?"

(Elliot) "No more than they already were."

Buck's visor picked up signatures to their side, quietly watching them.

(Fie) "There's been people watching us ever since we arrived."

(Dutch) "Think it's those insurrectionists?"

(Hilda) "Too early to tell. We'll investigate things from our end."

(Mickey) "Well, good luck to ya then, ma'am."

Hilda nodded and went joined Percy and Jonas who were looking at the collapsed building.

(Buck) "Well then, mission accomplished on our end. Wonder how the other kids are doing."

(Duvalie) "More importantly, I want answers to whatever the hell's going on with this talk of separatists and that vision thing."

As they walked away from the town, Mila watched from the window.

(Mila) "Just who are you...?"

PART 2: ENDED

TO BE CONTINUED…

[Lost in Paradise - ALI]

Gotta get it homie gotta move it If you gonna do it then, push everything to the side Everybody just talk nobody really do it You should keep a secret until you actually do it No need to double check with someone Use your judgement only, break the walls Let’s do flashy fake More Cool, keep it low, prove them wrong I won’t give up the fight in my life 'Cause my life is living for love I won’t give up the fight in my life Stand off and groove on time Tokyo prison Going to relight your feelings When times get too rough Night and day are fading Going to relight your feelings There’s no time to explain Gimme your love Access to your love Oh yeah Lost in paradise Night and day are fading out When times getting rough Access to your love Lost in paradise Night and day are fading out Keep on dancing now Hеy hey hеy hey heyeah

#House Isekai #House Isekai ARR #duvalie #buck #romeo #dutch #mickey #raelyn amuto #elliot craig #laura s arseid #fie claussell #hilda valentine goneril

3 notes · View notes

willgayers · 7 years

Note

Omg you're from Finland?? So cool!! As an American that is very seriously considering moving out of country somewhere and is considering moving to a Scandinavian country, I'd really appreciate it if you'd share a little bit about what life is like there? Do you enjoy living in Finland?? Sorry if this is weird...America is just a pretty scary place to be lately.

first of all; i spent half an hour writing the answer and then accidentally closed the tab. i am sCREAMING INSIDE !!!!!

but, lets do this again, so:

hey!! yeah i am from finland! born and raised! and its not weird to ask ,, tbh i kinda get your point. i actually answered to an ask yesterday telling what are my 5 favorite things about living in finland, but i can tell you some more under the cut, especially differences etc ! this was actually fun to write

ok first things first, food is very expensive. ofc not in fast food chains like mc donalds etc, but restaurant-restaurants are expensive and also grocery stores, unless you’re buying the store’s own product so at least we’ve got a cheaper option. but yeah restaurants are very expensive (salads starting from 12euros, pizzas from 13euros, chinese/nepalese starting from 12euros, sushi is so damn expensive dont even get me started on that, i only ever eat it in a lunch buffet… and if you wanna order a steak or something like that lmao prepare to pay nearly 20euros OR MORE),, anyway during lunch hours there are usually special offers. coffee prices aren’t that bad. we also have starbucks! but not all the drinks that you guys have

just like food, alcohol is very expensive, so if you like your liquor be ready waste a lot of money on it. thats why finnish people actually go to estonia by ship to full the cabinets bc their alcohol is so much cheaper! its a finnish tradition lol. same goes with cigarettes. its 8 euros for a pack in here so 9 dollars.

traveling abroad is pretty expensive, but mostly just to the states and some very exotic places like the maldives idk. its like 1000euros to travel to california (i would know because i’ve always wanted to visit but im poor af 3). traveling inside finland is not that expensive , gas is p expensive but depends on the gas station

clothes are not that expensive, at least it depends on what you’re buying. mostly anyway its the same price range that in usa i think but we don’t have the same stores, at least not forever 21 and primark for example but we do have h&m and zara and then some european stores like bik bok (which is my personal fav!) also victoria’s secret is super expensive cause it’s not normal for finns. there are only 2 of them in here anyway, one in the capital city aka helsinki and a small one at the airport

now to holidays! in actual calendar order ;-) valentine’s day; not big on celebrating, stores have stuff and some people do spend it but… not like… many easter; we have a thing similar to trick or treating, kids only dress as bunnies and witches tho may day; basically students (from like college) get “crowned “with student caps. everyone goes out to a park for a picnic and to drink. a lot. im telling you finnish people are huge drunks,, also its part of the tradition to dress funnily, stores sell weird may day clothing (like glittery hats and neon colored sunglasses), also there are sugar donuts and a either alcoholic or non-alcoholic (you decide) drink called sima. aaand decorations like balloons and paper streamers are literally everywhere midsummer; other finns go to their cottages and barbecue and go to sauna and swim in the lake. others go to a festival to get wasted. either way its a beautiful finnish tradition lmao, also this is the night when the sun shines for the whooole night!! not like literally shines but its not dark at all. there are bonfires and honestly, i’d say midsummer is the one holiday where finnish people really drink. like its -the- heavy drinking holidayhalloween; NO trick or treating which was very sad to kid-me bc no one gave me candy when i went t-o-t as a kid. also still pissed off cause it’s my fav holiday. stores sell halloween stuff and people dress up for parties, but no one really decorates. which sucks. finland sucks for halloween tbh. one plus is that we have the perfect halloween weather because its super dark and chilly and rainy and orange leaves everywhere during halloween-time!!thanks-giving; very very very little people celebrate this. definitely not a common thing. i only do it with friends and we call it friends-givingindependence day; obviously finland’s independence day. 100 years this year!!! christmas; 1000000% celebrate. so much snow. so cold. every store has christmas things and plays christmas music. everyone decorates. i mean it’s only fair bc santa claus lives in finland duhnew year; well i don’t think theres a country that doesn’t celebrate this tbh. stores sell stuff again. we have fireworks. also a lot of drinking. againalso obvs moher’s day and father’s day

concerts happen, not as often (especially with big stars) as they do in the states, but they happen! so do festivals. i actually summer-work at the largest one in finland ayyyyyy

also, finnish people swear. like. a lot

MINUSES;- it can get freezing in the winter. last winter the lowest we hit was like -32 degrees- most of the time during summer it rains. this is also a finnish people joke because there was a meme saying “in the bible it rained for 40 days and 40 nights. they called it the apocalypse. in finland it rained for 40 days and 40 nights. they called it summer”- some finns are very narrow-minded, so expect not everyone to definitely not agree with you. i actually have a hard time dealing with this and usually always stood out from the mass mainly bc i am way too social and open-minded and everything to hang out with kids my age because their opinions and standards never really match to mine. finns are tbh kinda raised to be cold and they have to be well educated. oh boy if you only would’ve heard all the things they have told me after i have told them that i wanna make a living out of singing and acting and writing! - well the expensive things that i mentioned and the lack of halloween :-( - also if you wanna make it big, like international-big, in the music industry for example, it is very hard to try and do that from here because literally no one either knows that we exist or thinks that we live in igloos and have polar bears in our backyard. also everyone loves sweden more lmao and we hate that. there’s actually a finnish joke ,, we won them in hockey one year with 6-1 and every time we argue with a swedish person… thats always a great comeback, no matter how long its been :-)

PLUS- THINGS;+ we are mostly a very safe country with an amazing president+ free health insurance+ free studying + same sex marriage is approved+ summer is very beautiful if its not raining. especially in the countryside. amazing!!! + finns aren’t over-all bad, for example there is an incredible bond between finns when it comes to extreme finnish stuff, like midsummer drinking, seeing dramatic movies that revolve around finnish history (like war for example, a re-make of an old movie called the unknown soldier just came out and it was intense in the cinema!), hockey victory and this especially!!!! like it doesn’t matter if you hated that guy from your math class, if you two run into each other on a victory night, you fucking hug for three hours because WE FUCKING WON and tbh that is what i find most beautiful in our culture. its cute + ok honestly, just christmas again. finland is the winter wonderland i am telling you!

overall, i enjoy living in finland very much. it is a home and even though i wish to live abroad one day, finland will always be my home!! so if you really wanna move out, i suggest you at least consider finland. we are actually an amazing country. i hope this helped you! XO

#answered

2 notes · View notes