#like if children learned about alpacas

[yelenapines]

"cHiLdReN sHoUlD'nT lEaRn AbOuT tRaNs PeOpLe It WiLl MaKe ThEm TrAnS"

mhm. you're right. ever since seven year old me read this one story about a trans girl my fate was written. I was DOOMED. oh no. (/sarc)

[ckret2]

Hi! I think I found a typo in this chapter "makes it hard for him to relate to other..." I assume you meant "others"

I hope Gideon's parents don't mess up his childhood anymore than it has been. I think his friends would be able to help him out more than his family :( Maybe Bud should work at the alpaca farm too.

Do you think Gideon chose to open the tent of telepathy himself? Or has Bud been pressuring him into making money from the start? I think it could go either way depending on how the bolo tie really works. He'd still be pressured into stuff in a way though which sucks.

Not a typo actually, it was meant to be Joy trailing off mid-sentence: "makes it hard for him to relate to other [kids]," but she petered out mid sentence and switched to a statement that makes it sound like it's not Gideon who's at fault, it's the other kids ("And honestly, I think most of the children are jealous of his talents"). I might could edit that to make it clearer that that's her trailing off.

Even though she's the more passive parent, and even though she's clearly afraid of Gideon's temper, she's still one of his enablers. And one of the ways that manifests is in blaming other people for Gideon's failings.

Honestly I think establishing the Tent of Telepathy was little of both. There's a mention in the previous chapter of Gideon starring in his dad's car commercials when he was younger; I think that's how he got his start in the spotlight and learned how to weaponize being cute, doing stuff like this:

When he got the mystic amulet, it was a natural progression. First Gideon starts using it for "magic tricks," maybe to impress other kids; next his dad goes "now that's something, can you do one of those tricks in our next commercial?"; next the commercials turn out to be a hit, so Bud gets the idea to do live shows at the dealership—lure people in to see Lil Gideon do magic, then try to sell them cars while they're there.

And so far Gideon's having a blast with it, he's always been pretty comfortable with the commercials because it's just what their family does and doing the magic shows is fun.

But it accelerates from there. At some point, other "tricks" get incorporated into the show, starting with your garden-variety cold reading, then escalating to spying, and that takes over as Gideon's main act. Now he's not just a clever child stage magician, he's a child psychic. The shows become popular enough that it occurs to Gideon's parents that he could make real money off them rather than just using them to advertise cars—and like, Gideon's a kid, making money from performing sounds exciting to him, he sees no downsides.

Maybe Gideon starts getting some serious attention at that point. Maybe a TV station from Portland does a little feel-good news story about this small-town child psychic; maybe he gets invited onto a local talk show; and that's when the idea of the tent of telepathy and/or touring comes up.

At this point, Gideon's probably been around the amulet enough that it's started to corrupt him—now he's getting hungry for the power and influence his new celebrity gives him, now he's the one going to his dad saying he wants to do even more shows and bring in even bigger audiences. But that only speeds things up. Without the amulet, Gideon might have gradually gone down that path by himself; and his dad, certainly, would've kept looking for opportunities for Gideon to perform as a child psychic so long as Gideon still seemed like he was having fun with it.

And that, I think, is the saddest part of it: at the start, Gideon was having fun with it. Bud wasn't thinking "I can make money off my kid," he was thinking "wow, my son has a talent. He could be rich and famous before he's a teenager. If he's really lucky, he might be set to retire before he's an adult and the whole family will be financially comfortable; but then if he wants he could keep on performing as an adult. Think of the possibilities! Sold-out theaters! A permanent residency in Vegas!" And even though Bud acted as Gideon's agent, i figure his mom felt the same way.

A parent whose kid REALLY loves gymnastics might get them a gymnastics coach, send them to contests, and if they keep winning, help them train for the Olympics. A parent whose kid REALLY loves singing might record them singing, put their videos online, start talking to agents about helping their kid record an album if some of their videos go viral. Bud's kid REALLY loved performing for an awed audience and all the attention and admiration it got him, so Bud set up more shows, arranged for him to start touring, got a tent, produced merch...

Kids who eagerly dive into Olympic training for a sport they love often have it take over their lives, and when that dream is passed—you're not in Olympic condition forever—many don't know what to do with the rest of their lives and regret pouring everything into one obsession. Kids who go into the entertainment industry for a talent they love are entering a world where the talent is very frequently abused and exploited and everyone's scrambling to try to make a living, and children are even more easy to exploit. A parent can support or even push a child toward making their talent a career, and genuinely think they're doing their child a favor; and it can still be terrible for the child. AND it can still slowly creep into the parents themselves exploiting their child as it becomes easier and easier to just live off their income, even if that wasn't the initial plan.

And by the time Gideon was arrested, his parents had poured so much into his budding career that they need to restart trying to bring in a sufficient income outside of that.

Gideon's career wasn't awful & exploitative from the get go. He was an active participant, he understood (insofar as a child could) what was being asked of him and what he was getting out of it, he liked it, he wanted more. At the peak of the amulet's influence on him and during the months after it broke when its effects still lingered, he was calling the shots, he was in charge. And it's not like the amulet was mind-controlling him; that was Gideon at his worst, but it was still Gideon.

To an extent I think his parents still feel like he's calling the shots. Seeing your child as your breadwinner is a messed up position and somebody needs to shake some sense into his parents, but they didn't end up there deliberately. Like boiling a frog, they ended up there too gradually to notice.

[motheatenscarf]

I keep telling myself I'm being too harsh and that other expansions must have been this slow as well, but actually, no, I'm on level 92 stuff and by this point in EW, the Tower of Zot had been done and in SHB, fucking Holminster Switch had come and gone.

This is just not economical storytelling and the pacing's off.

I was momentarily excited when Gulool Ja Ja summoned up the WoL to meet. The duel was cute and it felt like I actually got to do something, it was reminiscent of the duels with Raubahn and Zenos where the player character is given the chance to just. Have a fun fight for glory's sake and nothing else and revel in it.

I'd noticed that people had been prompting the WoL a lot for their input on how to proceed, but very little in the way of introspection and how they might feel about things or what their motives might be. Which, yeah, actually, that's been a little disappointing given how Endwalker was literally an expansion about, hey, how you feel about things matters, and how Shadowbringers was, hey, why people do things matters.

Like. I don't need the WoL to be the main character or the main focus of the story right now, I acknowledge that Dawntrail is Wuk Lamat's story and our role is, as stated in text, to guide her and mentor her. That's fun! That's new! That's different!

...

Let me do that! There's a difference between not being the main character and feeling like a non-entity in a story. And like. Kinda everybody here feels like a non-entity except for Wuk Lamat. And she's fine as a character, she's just. There's not a lot to her. There are no real flaws that aren't cute or endearing, and like, that's fine, not every character needs to be Oops! All Flaws, Aymeric is one of my favorite characters in this game, but the narrative isn't challenging her and her convictions beyond tummy hurty and alpaca's stinky. Aymeric was STABBED and spit on and had to watch people scorn his name and nearly watched children be murdered in opposition to his dream of peace. He got put through the ringer! Wuk Lamat gets motion sickness and isn't taken very seriously and she feels inadequate when comparing herself to her brothers. Cool. That's relatable, sure, but not compelling. I also get motion sickness and don't feel like I'm as smart as my brother and know that my mom likes him more than me. I'm not the protagonist of a Final Fantasy game! And if I was, I'd hope someone would make that family dynamic the FOCUS of the story at the very least.

Everyone else is like. Why are they here? The twins have nothing to do here. The WoL has nothing to do here. Krile in theory has a quest but she doesn't seem particularly driven or excited about it and we've learned almost nothing of consequence regarding it. We now know she was an orphan but she isn't interested in who her parents were or why they left, and also her earring is special, I guess.

Thancred and Urianger have more to do than this group. Koana and the other one are kinda one-note but they've at least got the advantage of like. Being withholding and letting me interpret the things they say and do sometimes, rather than telling me.

I keep thinking, god, maybe Erenville will be interesting but he's starting to feel a little one-note in his interactions with Wuk Lamat. We know a little more about him now but it's like. Trivia. He was from this village and his mother tasked him with finding the Golden City. Cool. What does that mean to him? How does he feel about it? Why did he obey her instructions to become a gleaner to search for this city? Nothing we've learned is of substance.

I'm... frustrated. We're at 3/7 of these Feats completed and I do not have any greater understanding of these characters and their reasons for being here or their roles in the narrative than we had at the start of the contest. We're still just establishing the setting 1/5 of the way through. It's frustrating. I've been pretty patient, but I don't think my continued urge to fuck off and do something else every hour or two is misplaced. I've almost finished grinding fates in the first 2 zones just because I wanted to take some time to sit and think and digest what I'm feeling about all this and why.

[rabbitcruiser]

National Alpaca Day 

Alpaca Day is a special day that celebrates the unique and gentle alpaca. It falls on September 26th every year.

People across various countries show their appreciation for these friendly animals. Alpaca Day highlights the importance of alpacas to agriculture, their contribution to the environment, and the need to conserve them and their natural habitats.

Alpacas, our companions for thousands of years, are more than just wool providers. With their soft, padded feet and gentle grazing that doesn’t harm pastures, they are the unsung heroes of sustainable farming.

The Alpaca Owners Association, established in 2014, is dedicated to educating the public about alpacas and their role in sustainable farming. Events across the U.S.A. provide a unique opportunity to experience these gentle creatures up close.

Why do we celebrate Alpaca Day? For starters, alpacas are known for their friendly nature, unique personalities, and their wool quality, which is softer and warmer than many others.

They play a significant role in maintaining ecological balance, making them valuable to both agriculture and wildlife conservation. Alpaca Day serves as a reminder of the bond between humans and alpacas and the importance of protecting these charming animals and their environment.

History of Alpaca Day

Alpaca Day is a day dedicated to celebrating alpacas, the adorable, fluffy animals native to South America. The day acknowledges their significance in agriculture and their contributions to human society.

Although the origins of Alpaca Day as a celebration are not clearly documented, various countries have adopted their versions, such as New Zealand’s National Alpaca Day on May 2, Peru’s National Alpaca Day on August 1, and National Alpaca Farm Day in the United States on September 26​.

The Alpaca Owners Association, established in 2014, plays a pivotal role in organizing events across the U.S. to educate people about alpacas and promote the alpaca farming industry. These events offer a chance to meet alpacas up close and learn about their care, lifestyle, and the products made from their wool​.

Alpacas have been part of human history for thousands of years, serving as companions and providers of luxurious wool.

They are known for their friendly and gentle nature, each with a unique personality. Besides their role in agriculture, alpacas are celebrated for their environmental friendliness, as their grazing habits do not harm the land​​.

Celebrating Alpaca Day involves various activities, from visiting alpaca farms to learning crafts with alpaca wool. It’s a day to appreciate these creatures’ contributions and promote awareness about their conservation.

How to Celebrate Alpaca Day

Get Cozy with Alpaca Wool Crafts

Why not knit or crochet something special using alpaca wool? It’s super soft and warm, perfect for that cozy scarf or beanie you’ve been wanting. Imagine the satisfaction of creating something unique while celebrating these fluffy friends​​.

Farm Visit Fiesta

A trip to an alpaca farm could be the highlight of your Alpaca Day. Feed them, pet them, and even snap a selfie with a new fluffy pal. Farms often have tours or open days, so check out what’s happening near you​​.

Learn and Share Fun Alpaca Facts

Did you know alpacas can hum when they’re content? Dive into some alpaca trivia and share these fun facts with friends and family. You’ll be the life of the party, spreading joy and knowledge about these gentle creatures​​.

Create and Donate

Consider crafting alpaca-themed items like plush toys or art and donate them to local children’s hospitals or charities. It’s a heartwarming way to spread love and awareness about these adorable animals and their special day​.

Celebrating Alpaca Day is about embracing these animals’ quirky and adorable nature. From crafting with their luxurious wool to learning fascinating facts about them, there are many ways to honor these remarkable creatures.

So, take part, be creative, and most importantly, have fun!

Source

[phoebe-the-autism-fairy]

Why Matt Walsh is a terrible "children's author"

So I study children's literature at university, and about a year ago I watched a video posted by Sam Collins, who is a wonderful trans YouTuber, and he was reacting to a children's book written by an infamous transphobe and self-proclaimed fascist, Matt Walsh. This book was called "Johnny the Walrus", and allegedly it's about identity. About a kid who pretended to be a walrus and the so-called "internet people" took it literally and forced him to actually be a walrus. He did this as an analogy to mock trans people and trans children.

Not only is the book inappropriate, hateful and horrendously transphobic, but it's just a bad piece of literature in general. And I get that opinions are subjective, but this is from what I've observed from the book and what I've learned at university.

Starting off, there is a concept in analysing literature known as "death of the author and birth of the reader", in which the reader is able to have their own interpretation of a piece of literature regardless of what the author intended for the story. However, children as young as what this book is aimed at most likely don't have this concept, and therefore won't understand the analogy that Matt is trying to make. Because gender and animals are two very different topics, the most the book will do is convince children that playing pretend games is bad and that it will get them into trouble. As a kid I pretended to be various characters from TV shows I liked such as Nuzzle from this show called Nuzzle and Scratch but nobody ever forced me to become a fucking alpaca did they?

It's so odd to me that someone actually let him into a classroom full of children in order to spread his propaganda when more likely than not, these kids are not gonna know what the fuck he's on about. And when he's reading his wasted tree to children, he is not truly engaging with the children, and in turn, the children look bored and uncomfortable with his presence. He just has no interest in the children, or in actual children's fiction, he's clearly just there to spread hateful ideologies. And plus he kinda looks like a nonce but I digress-

And plus, when you're writing children's literature, it obviously needs to be written with sincerity, and to actually entertain children. For example, if you look at children's authors such as Michael Rosen, when he performs his stories such as 'No Breathing in Class' or 'Chocolate Cake', he interacts with the children very well, the children who are listening to his stories are entertained and engaged in the story, because Rosen not only tells the story, he also SHOWS the story, making faces and using body language to further express his stories. He's funny and relatable, he makes jokes and the themes of his stories and poems are light-hearted and suitable for all ages. That's what makes a good children's writer.

On the other hand, in Matt Walsh's story, there's nothing remotely fun or exciting or creative about the story at all, it's just bland and there is no substance. And it's only purpose is to serve conservative ideologies. Not to mention the illustrations are abysmal. Just because the narration is rhyming and it has illustrations, doesn't make it good, or remotely appropriate to read to children.

Also for the love of jesus, if you are writing a book for kids, don't include things like "bigot" or "internet people", or anything along the lines of a "woke mob", because kids won't understand that, and also it's cringe. Things like that do not need to be in a children's book thank you.

And plus, even if this story was literal, it would be inaccurate anyway. Because actual parents of transchildren are not forcing their kid to surgically transition because that would just be irresponsible parenting. Yeah, the kid may socially transition, such as cutting their hair, wearing different clothes, etc, but it doesn't go any further than that.

Face it my guy, you can't write for children so maybe just stick to ya shitty podcast.

[sophieswundergarten]

Okay so I saw you reblogged the game so I'm going to take advantage of this fine opportunity to ask for the alpaca and Nicholas Benedict. If you want to do some Narnia characters, I'll also request Uncle Andrew and Caspian. No pressure if you don't want to answer.

I hope you're having a wonderful day because you deserve it!

Oh, Bods. You are slowly but surely dragging me into your alpaca conspiracies /lh

The alpaca. Many, many questions about this creature. I feel like the alpaca had a rich inner journey on which it learned something about itself (Whether this character development is positive or negative remains to be seen), and is also such a misanthrope. I think he likes Kate and that's it. Everyone else can go fall off a cliff or something, and he's actively plotting how to make it so /j

Mr. Nicholas Benedict!!! He's amazing. And also so, so very much in need of therapy. I think he's probably committed some crimes (ie: forgery and bribe distribution) but it was all for the greater good and also can you blame him? No, no you can't. I wish we could have seen more of his narcolepsy on-screen in the Show, but I still think they did a pretty good job all things considered! (I relate to him in the feeling like I need to protect everyone/if someone I interacted with (especially a sibling) does something wrong I am at fault)

UNCLE ANDREW THE BELOATHED. He's such a disaster. I would hit him with a golf cart, but I don't think it would help honestly. He was in a vehicle-related crash already and it did nothing for his character. He's. He really is a disaster. I would hate him even if he weren't a raving lunatic who tested on children, just because he's rude and selfish and has no respect for animals or the scientific method. I just know he'd hate me. ALSO. He wasted his OWN potential. That's not a comment on Lewis. Uncle Andrew drove his own self into the ground and had to deal with the consequences.

Caspian!!!! You know when you pick up a book, and no matter how many times you've read it there's that one character who you're like "Yes! It's them! My buddy my best friend my pal I've known since childhood!" Caspian is one of those people for me. I wish we could have known more about him!! Silver Chair made me so sad for him, because he spent so long without his family. I wish I could have adopted child Caspian because his uncle is insane and kind of a war criminal (Which is also one of the major reasons I think the boy needs therapy), but I think about him a lot. Not as much as MBS, because I don't have anyone to really talk to about CoN, but often his is In My Mind. I relate to him because I, too, would panic after being told to flee my home in the middle of the night under threat of murder, run into a tree and knock myself out, and them wake up and have the first thing I say be "Please don't hurt my horse :(" addsjfdfjk

[outofangband]

For the headcanon prompts: How about a tradition Morwen holds on to her entire life?

Or if that is too specific, any traditions in general of her people? I always find traditions surrounding the sowing of seeds and/or the follow-up harvest interesting, but feel free to tell me about any other aspects, you always have fascinating ideas!

scream this is from so long ago, I am so sorry

In the tags for Morwen, for Ladros, Dorthonion as well as my tag 'houseless for exiles' which is my Bëorian cultural trauma tag, there are others about this!

I also have a few posts on Hadorian marriage traditions in my tags for Hithlum and for Dor-lómin!

World building is obviously one of my favorite things so always feel free to ask more I am so sorry for the delay!

Some thoughts on a few traditions!

Morwen wears the braids traditionally worn by married Bëorian women and she wears them from her marriage until she dies! Traditionally the braids are redone every few months or so by the spouse Bëorian men have a slightly different style of braids that they wear too. Obviously Morwen has to redo them herself after Húrin is gone though I think once or twice she lets Aerin help her. (This is radical for Morwen as she tends to be very very particular about who touches her and how but it is not particularly unusual in terms of the actual tradition. Widows or widowers choose whether or not to keep their braids in and if they choose to do so, family members or loved ones will usually help them maintain them)

(fun fact for anyone who read the first part of my recent dark Aerin fic on ao3: this is relevant to what she was thinking of with regards to mockeries of wedding symbols :/ )

On that note I do headcanon that Húrin wears the style for Bëorian men! He wears three marriage indicators, the Bëorian one in his hair and two Hadorian ones; what's called a bonding stone which is a necklace with a specifically carved river stone. These are usually worn by both men and women. He also has a painted design on his leg which is traditionally done by Hadorian men. Like the braids, the paint is reapplied every so often!

Húrin loses all these in Angband of course. His braids are cut or undone his bonding stone is ripped off and the paint is deliberately washed off as is custom for prisoners arriving in Angband for both practical and psychological reasons; supplies is always needed for the fortress and removing any personal and identity related items is another means of dehumanization and control.

Morwen also continues the Bëorian style of embroidery that she learned as a child and knits the winter wear for her children in her traditional style. Some of these become harder to do during the occupation because of the access to dyes that Morwen no longer ha.

With regards to the sewing of seeds, I have lots of thoughts about this for both Dorthonion and Hithlum (and all other places!)

The profound differences in environment, landscape and flora and fauna in Hithlum as opposed to Dorthonion is very difficult for Morwen especially when she first comes there. Dorthonion is dry, cool, often windy. It is a land of craggy peaks, sharp slopes, clear pools and coniferous woods. The Bëorians keep goats, sheep, alpacas, rabbits and some donkeys mainly for transporting goods. Horses are only used in the highlands by the soldiers of Angrod and Aegnor.

Hithlum is humid, more mild, with much higher precipitation. Though Dor-lómin is surrounded by mountains, it is primarily fields and gentle hills. The Hadorians are horsemen and rely heavily on horses and cattle. Neither horses nor cattle are kept often in Ladros.

The diet and agriculture are extremely different and Morwen has difficulty transplanting growing practices she learned as a child to the lands in Hithlum. There are not many harvest related traditions that she carries from Dorthonion.

Morwen does plan her garden to some extent in a way that is more typical of Ladros than in Hithlum and she grows more herbs and medicinal plants (in Hithlum, these are usually grown in specific locales under specific practices). Gardens of houses in Hithlum also tend to be more curated in other ways.

(Note: diet and agriculture of both of these places need their own posts which I will gladly do if there's interest!)

[orangechickenpillow]

15 Questions 15 Mutuals

I was tagged by @eowyntheavenger (I’m so sorry it took me forever, I kept forgetting to answer this haha) Love you, friend!

Rules: answer the questions and tag fifteen mutuals

1. Are you named after anyone? Nope! My parents just heard the name from a friend and like it (but it’s spelled differently than literally everyone else in the world who’s named it because my mom thought the original spelling's repeat of a particular letter was “dumb and unnecessary” lol)

2. When was the last time you cried? A couple weeks ago I think? I don’t cry very often, and it’s usually because of a build-up of emotions when I do (don’t bottle things up, kids). Can’t even remember why, this particular time. 

3. Do you have kids? Nope, and unless my future partner would like to have children, I don’t really plan on it. 

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Absolutely, yes I do. Though, I’ve learned recently, to my horror, that most of my sarcasm is too dry and people tend to think I’m being serious. So... I’ve gotten a failing grade in sarcasm. Fuck me lol.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people? I’ve never really thought about that. When I socialize my brain usually shuts off out of panic, but I think I probably notice a person’s smile. I like when people smile with their eyes and not just their mouth. 

6. What's your eye colour? Hazel :)

7. Scary movies or happy endings? I don’t watch horror movies near as often as I watch movies with happy endings, so I suppose the latter. 

8. Any special talents? Um... I’m really good at making people laugh? That’s not really a talent, but I think my sense of humor surprises people because they don’t often expect it. 

9. Where were you born? No comment ;)

10. What are your hobbies? I love writing, it’s my absolute favorite thing to do. I like to read, though I don’t as often as I used to, and rewatch my dozen or so favorite movies. I like roller skating and painting, and I’ve gotten into embroidery recently. I also love working out, when I have the time and energy to do so. 

11. Any pets? This question is the equivalent of Pandora’s box for me lmao. I’ve had a ton of pets over my life, but currently: three cats, a dog, two leopard geckos, two goats, two hermit crabs, and some isopods. I’ve also had frogs, rats, and even two alpacas at one point. 

12. What sports do you play/have played? I played soccer in elementary school, absolutely loathed it. I... do not work well on a team, especially when that team is a bunch of mean twelve-year-old girls lol. I also horseback ride, but have not done that competitively.

13. How tall are you? I think I’m 5′4

14. Favorite subject in school? Once, long ago, it had been math. I hate math now, lol. In high school, my favorite subject was English for sure. Biology was also a lot of fun.

15. Dream job? Actually? Just, like... the owner of a nice little cottage. A gardener? Someone who lives in the woods, maybe... I would like to make art for the rest of my life and not have to worry about taxes and shit lol. 

For the longest time I wanted to be a vet, and then a zookeeper. I wouldn’t say those are still my “dream jobs,” though. Maybe a writer. 

Thanks again for the tag, lovely. 

I’m always scared I’m bothering people when I tag, so I won’t, but if you see this and you want to join in, please do! 

[kaneinstitute]

EH Farms: A Cozy Escape for Alpaca Enthusiasts and Animal Lovers

EH Farms, located in Strathmore, Alberta, is a charming, family-owned farm that has captured the hearts of visitors with its alpacas and other friendly farm animals. It offers a unique, hands-on experience for families, animal lovers, and anyone looking to escape city life for a bit of countryside relaxation. Known for its interactive tours, alpaca wool products, and educational opportunities, EH Farms has become a delightful destination for those seeking a connection with animals and nature. Here, we’ll take a closer look at what makes EH Farms so special, the best time to visit, what you can expect to do there, and how to plan a memorable trip.

Why EH Farms is Special: A Farm with a Personal Touch

EH Farms stands out not just for its lovable alpacas but also for its commitment to offering visitors an authentic farm experience. The owners, who are passionate about alpacas and sustainable farming, provide a personal, welcoming atmosphere that makes every visitor feel at home. Alpacas, known for their gentle and curious nature, are the main attraction at EH Farms. Visitors can meet these friendly animals up close, learn about their habits, and even participate in activities like feeding and brushing.

Beyond the alpacas, EH Farms also keeps a variety of other farm animals, including chickens, ducks, and rabbits, making it a fun place for children and adults alike. The farm provides a tranquil environment where visitors can learn about animal care and sustainable practices, all while enjoying the peaceful surroundings. EH Farms has also gained a reputation for its premium alpaca wool products, which are soft, hypoallergenic, and made from the farm’s own alpacas.

The Best Time to Visit EH Farms

EH Farms is a year-round destination, but each season offers a unique experience for visitors:

Spring: Spring is an ideal time to visit EH Farms, as the weather is mild, and it’s often when new baby animals are born. The farm is alive with activity, and visitors can witness young alpacas, also known as cria, exploring their environment for the first time.

Summer: The warmer months are perfect for exploring the farm’s open spaces and enjoying extended outdoor activities. With lush greenery and blooming flowers, summer provides a picturesque backdrop for photos and animal interactions.

Fall: Autumn is also a lovely time to visit, as the weather cools and the farm is surrounded by beautiful fall foliage. It’s a great time to experience the farm before winter, and the alpacas’ wool is extra fluffy before they are shorn in the spring.

Winter: Visiting in winter can be a cozy experience as the alpacas adapt well to the cold, thanks to their thick, warm coats. EH Farms provides seasonal activities during the holidays, and visitors can shop for alpaca wool products like scarves, hats, and blankets, which make excellent gifts.

Things to Do at EH Farms

Alpaca Meet-and-Greet: EH Farms offers a chance to get up close and personal with their alpacas. Visitors can feed, pet, and even take photos with the animals. The farm staff shares interesting facts about alpaca behavior and care, making the experience both fun and educational.

Farm Tours: EH Farms provides guided tours that allow guests to learn about the daily operations of an alpaca farm, including the care and maintenance of the animals. The tours are perfect for families, school groups, and anyone interested in sustainable farming practices.

Alpaca Walks: One of the unique activities at EH Farms is the opportunity to take an alpaca for a walk. Under the guidance of farm staff, visitors can lead an alpaca on a short walk around the farm, an activity that’s especially popular with children and photographers looking to capture memorable moments.

Shopping for Alpaca Wool Products: EH Farms produces high-quality alpaca wool products, including scarves, hats, gloves, and blankets. Known for its softness, warmth, and hypoallergenic qualities, alpaca wool is a sought-after textile, and EH Farms’ products are unique because they are made from their own alpacas.

Educational Workshops and Events: EH Farms offers seasonal workshops on topics like animal care, fiber arts, and sustainable farming. These events provide a hands-on experience and a deeper understanding of farm life and alpaca wool production. It’s also an opportunity to learn about the environmental benefits of alpaca farming and wool compared to traditional livestock.

Family-Friendly Farm Activities: In addition to alpacas, EH Farms is home to other animals, including chickens, ducks, and rabbits. Kids love interacting with these animals, and the farm’s safe, family-friendly environment makes it a great place for a day trip.

Planning Your Visit to EH Farms

Check for Reservations: While EH Farms is open year-round, it’s a good idea to check their website or call ahead, as certain tours and activities may require reservations. This ensures you have a slot for popular activities like alpaca walks or guided tours.

Dress for the Outdoors: Since EH Farms involves outdoor activities, dress appropriately for the season. In summer, bring a hat, sunscreen, and comfortable walking shoes. In winter, bundle up to stay warm as you’ll be spending time outside with the animals.

Bring a Camera: EH Farms is a beautiful, photogenic place, and visitors often want to capture their memories with the animals. A camera or smartphone will come in handy for taking pictures with the alpacas and the scenic farm landscape.

Explore the Farm Store: Before leaving, make sure to check out the farm’s store, which offers a selection of alpaca wool products and other farm-related items. These make great souvenirs and gifts, and purchasing directly from the farm supports its operations.

Consider a Group Visit: EH Farms is a popular destination for school groups, birthday parties, and family gatherings. The farm’s educational and interactive approach makes it a wonderful setting for group visits, and they can often arrange special activities or tours for larger groups.

Why Visit EH Farms?

EH Farms offers a peaceful escape from the hustle and bustle of daily life, allowing visitors to connect with nature and animals in a meaningful way. The farm’s focus on sustainability and ethical animal care makes it a model for small-scale farming and demonstrates how agriculture can be both productive and environmentally friendly. For those interested in eco-conscious products, the farm’s alpaca wool items are not only warm and soft but also sustainably produced, making them an ethical choice for fashion and home goods.

A Memorable Day at EH Farms

EH Farms provides a unique opportunity to experience the joys of farm life, surrounded by friendly animals and knowledgeable hosts who are passionate about their work. Whether you’re interested in alpacas, looking for a family-friendly outing, or simply in need of a relaxing day in nature, EH Farms offers an experience that is both enriching and memorable. It’s a destination that welcomes visitors of all ages and makes a lasting impression with its warm hospitality, cute animals, and commitment to sustainable farming practices. For anyone looking to experience a slice of Alberta’s rural charm, EH Farms is a must-visit.

[alpacaexpeditions]

Discover the Ancient Incas Machu Picchu with Alpaca Expeditions

When it comes to exploring the majestic world of the Incas Machu Picchu, there's no better guide than Alpaca Expeditions. Known as the #1 tour operator in Peru, we pride itself on superior service, ensuring every traveler experiences a unique and memorable adventure.

The Incas Machu Picchu is an ancient citadel located high in the Andes Mountains, above the Urubamba River valley. Built in the 15th century, it’s renowned for its sophisticated dry-stone construction that fuses huge blocks without the use of mortar, intriguing astronomical alignments, and panoramic views. This UNESCO World Heritage site is one of the most iconic remnants of the Inca Empire and continues to captivate visitors from around the globe.

We offer a variety of tours that cater to all types of travelers. Whether you are a family with young children looking for a gentle introduction to this historical marvel or a group of friends seeking an adventurous trek, we can tailor a package just for you. Our commitment to exceptional service ensures that each tour is designed to meet the specific needs and interests of our clients.

One of the highlights of visiting Incas Machu Picchu with us is the range of trekking options available. From the classic Inca Trail to alternative routes like the Salkantay Trek or the Lares Trek, we provide comprehensive packages that include knowledgeable guides, comfortable accommodations, and all necessary permits. we treks offer an immersive experience into the rich history and breathtaking landscapes of the region, providing insight into the life and culture of the ancient Incas.

Alpaca Expeditions is also dedicated to sustainable tourism. We strive to preserve the natural beauty and cultural heritage of the areas we explore. By working closely with local communities and employing native guides, we ensure that our tours benefit the local economy and contribute to the preservation of the Incas Machu Picchu for future generations.

Choosing us means you are guaranteed an adventure of a lifetime. Our expert guides, personalized service, and commitment to excellence make we the perfect choice for exploring the wonders of the Incas Machu Picchu. Whether you're looking to hike through breathtaking mountain passes, learn about ancient Inca civilization, or simply take in the stunning views, we will ensure your journey is unforgettable.

Experience the magic of the Incas Machu Picchu with us and create memories that will last a lifetime. Visit our website to book your next adventure and discover why we are the premier tour operator in Peru.

[batnana123]

Discover the Magic of Steiff Bears: A Collector's Guide to Finding the Perfect Teddy

Steiff bears are more than just toys; they are timeless collectables that have captured the hearts of young and old alike for over a century. These meticulously crafted teddy bears are known for their exceptional quality, charming designs, and rich history. If you want to purchase a Steiff bear, this guide will help you navigate the options and find the perfect addition to your collection.

The History of Steiff Bears

Steiff bears have a storied history that dates back to the late 19th century. The company was founded in 1880 by Margarete Steiff in Germany and initially produced felt elephant pincushions. These became so popular with children that Margarete expanded her product line to include other animals, including the now-famous teddy bears. In 1902, Margarete's nephew Richard Steiff designed the first jointed teddy bear, revolutionising the toy industry and creating a beloved icon.

What Makes Steiff Bears Special?

Several factors set it apart from other teddy bears:

Quality Craftsmanship: Each Steiff bear is made with meticulous attention to detail, using high-quality materials such as mohair, alpaca, and premium cotton. The craftsmanship ensures these bears are durable and retain their charm for generations.

Button in Ear: The signature "Button in Ear" trademark is a hallmark of Bears. This button, introduced in 1904, has authenticity and quality.

Handmade Artistry: Many handmade, ensuring each one is unique. This artisanal approach adds to their collectable value and appeal.

Limited Editions: Steiff regularly releases limited edition bears, often in collaboration with designers or to commemorate special events. Collectors highly seek these limited editions.

Where to Find Steiff Bears for Sale

Finding the perfect Steiff bear involves knowing where to look. Here are some of the best places to find these cherished collectables:

Official Steiff Retailers: Authorized Steiff retailers provide a wide selection of bears and the authenticity of each purchase. You can find these retailers online or in speciality toy stores.

Steiff Online Store: The official Steiff website features the latest collections, exclusive releases, and a comprehensive catalogue of available bears. Shopping directly from the source ensures you receive genuine products.

Auction Houses: Auction houses, both online and offline, often feature rare and vintage bears. Look at auction listings for unique finds and potentially great deals.

Collector’s Shows and Conventions: Attending teddy bear conventions and collector's shows is a great way to find Steiff bears, meet other enthusiasts, and learn more about the history and craftsmanship of these toys.

Secondhand Markets: Estate sales, antique shops, and online marketplaces like eBay can be treasure troves for finding vintage Steiff bears. However, it's crucial to verify the authenticity and condition of the bear before purchasing.

Tips for Collecting Steiff Bears

If you're new to collecting, these tips can help you get started and build a meaningful collection:

Start with Research: Educate yourself about the different types of Steiff bears, their history, and what makes specific models more valuable. Books, online forums, and collector's clubs are excellent resources.

Set a Budget: Steiff bears can range from affordable to very expensive, especially for rare and limited editions. Determine your budget beforehand to avoid overspending.

Inspect Condition: When buying vintage or secondhand bears, carefully inspect their condition. Look for signs of wear, repairs, and authenticity markers like the "Button in Ear."

Buy What You Love: While Steiff Bears' investment potential is appealing, it's essential to collect pieces that you personally love and enjoy.

Caring for Your Steiff Bears

Proper care ensures that your Steiff bears remain in pristine condition for years to come:

Display Safely: Keep your bears away from direct sunlight, which can fade their fabric. Display them in a dust-free environment, preferably behind glass.

Handle with Care: To preserve the fabric and joints, avoid excessive handling. When you need to handle them, ensure your hands are clean.

Regular Cleaning: Gently dust your bears using a soft brush. For deeper cleaning, consult a professional who specialises in restoring collectable toys.

Conclusion

Steiff bears are more than plush toys; they are pieces of history, works of art, and treasured collectables. Whether you are a seasoned collector or just starting out, understanding their unique qualities and knowing where to find them will help you build a collection that brings joy and nostalgia for years. Embrace the magic of Steiff bears and discover the perfect teddy to add to your collection today.

[starfleet-jelly]

Some Vulcan Headcanons

They have like no base in canon just things I thought about Vulcans most of them don’t have evidence either. Most of my Vulcan fanfics will probably be based off these headcanons, I’ll be adding and editing this post whenever I feel differently or think of new things~ 💕

* Vulcans can outrun humans with speed, however humans can outrun Vulcans by distance.

* Vulcans are better climbers

* Vulcans have death grips. Once they have you, it’s gonna be difficult to get away.

* They have slightly longer fingers, better for climbing!

* Vulcans can’t jump as high as a human can, however, it isn’t by much, a couple inches at most.

* Vulcans eat a lot more than they are shown. Even though they have slow metabolisms they have dense muscles that need lots of protein, luckily there are lots of high protein grains and vegetables on Vulcan.

* Ancient Vulcans were cave dwellers. The caves provided protections of predators and kept them cooler in the extreme heat of Vulcan.

* Due to the fact that the seas are small and in few numbers on Vulcan, most Vulcans cannot swim, however, in coastal towns, more of them have the knowledge on how to swim, but it seems most Vulcans still prefer to not to go for a dip. There is always the odd duck who loves to swim though.

* Before sonic showers, Vulcan use small bucks of water with a rag, or more commonly sand to bathe with

* Because of their muscles and flexibility, Vulcans don’t take a lot of fall damage, even a Vulcan child could fall from the a height that would easily kill a human and walk away with minor injuries

* Vulcan have very strong leg bones and muscles because of the slightly higher gravity than Earth

* Vulcans in the north prefer spicier food while people in the south prefer food with little, if any, spice. Humans to try the food are often stuck with something that seems boring to them, or just downright painful from the spice

* Because of their telepathic abilities, Vulcan babies need a lot of skin contact in their first few months after birth. It is not uncommon for a Vulcan mother or father to carry their infant child to their bare chest, even in public, usually tucked into their robes

* Because Vulcans are touch telepaths children get a sense of calm from their parents when they are in contact but also form familiar bonds, lack of touch can lead to malformation and damage to new neural networks in the infants brain

* Vulcan toddlers are volatile, they have yet to master their emotions and tend to throw fits over many things. Skin contact, such as hugging, holding and cuddling, from their parents usually calms them down. It’s common for children from ages 0-5 to sleep in their parent’s bed as they need near constant contact. During this time Vulcan parents begin to tech meditative practices such as hymns and monturas. As Vulcan children grow older, parents will begin to slowly step away from skin contact in exchange for led meditations

* On Vulcan, it is common practice for one of the parents to stay home and raise the child or children, however, if one of the parent die, close family such as grandparents or aunts and uncles will also help take care of the child or children.

* Young Vulcan children (5-12) do not completely suppress their emotions, they do however learn not to express them. Bullying, fighting, and rebellious behavior is not uncommon for this age group.

* For older Vulcan children (between 13-25) who have difficulty controlling their emotions, even with led meditations, the child is usually sent to a monastery for education.

* Vulcans aren’t fully mature until after the age of 30.

* Vulcans usually don’t experience Pon Farr until after the age of 30, usually between 30-35, but there has been some outliers. Some Vulcans can go through Pon Farr as early as 26 and as old as 40, but this is uncommon and usually means there is a health problem.

* Both male and female Vulcans go through Pon Farr.

* I don’t care what anyone tells me, Vulcans do and will have sex outside of Pon Farr.

* Vulcan ear shape is hereditary. The more curved ears you see on Spock, Sarek, Taurik are less common than the flat ears you see on T’Pol and Tuvok

* Vulcans with light colored eyes tend to have bad vision and worsens with age. They tend to spend more time inside because the sun can be unbearable at times. But Vulcans with light colored eyes can see in the dark better than Vulcans with dark colored eyes. Light colored eyes was a mutation that only accrued after urbanization of Vulcan.

* Vulcans are cold to the touch, like someone who has been outside without a coat in winter. Because they’re naturally cooler Vulcans don’t need to sweat to keep cool. If ancient Vulcans got too hot they could move into caves to cool down.

* Young Vulcans (under the age of 10) and old Vulcans (over the age of 130) have a difficult time keeping warm. On modern Vulcan it is fixed with indoor heating and cooling.

* Vulcan has many hot springs, most of which are underground, and are popular. However most tourists, such a humans, cannot use them as most are too hot.

* Vulcans have two different types of robes. Robes they wear during the day that keep them cool, and robes for night to keep them warm.

* The silk that Vulcans robes are made of are actually from a plant. The plant produces a silk like substance that is sticky to prevent animals from eating it. It’s very strong and ancient Vulcans scrapped the silk from the plants and ate them. Modern day Vulcans grow these plants near the seas in the north and far south near the pole.

* Other Vulcan clothing is made from wool from an animal that is similar to sheep and alpaca. Their wool is usually use to make evening wear. The wool also used in the making of blankets, pillows, and rugs

* The soles of Vulcans shoes are usually made from a hard woody root, which were better for walking on rock. Vulcan shoes can also be made from a type grass that is common on Vulcan, which are better for walking in sand. Shoes for military are made from rubber.

* The reason why Vulcans in tos have all kind of different hair styles is because at that time period Vulcan youth wanted to rebel against common standers, it’s also why T’Pring did not wear a traditional Vulcan wedding dress.

* It’s common for Vulcan women to cover their hair, whether it be long or short. Not only does it keep their hair clean from sand but it also protects their head from the sun.

* There is actually a wide variety of fashion on Vulcan, differing types of robes, dresses, and suits. Most common colors are usually neutrals but silvers, blues, purples, and greens are common in the south while golds, reds, oranges, and yellows are more common in the north.

* The common Vulcan bowlcut, humans call it, is more common in the government and military of Vulcan. The short hair is easy to maintain and keep care of. Many Vulcan citizens has varying hairstyles and most depend on what region they live in. It is not uncommon for Vulcan men and women to have long hair, especially if they do not work in manual labor.

* Most Vulcan men shave their faces. There are many reasons for it, such as, it’s cleaner, easier to maintain, keeps them cooler, and it looks more professional.

* When it comes to body hair, it is 50/50 on who shaves. The area around the reproductive organs are usually maintained but not shaved, as for legs, arms, and under arms, some areas it is more common to save than others. Young Vulcan men usually shave their chest, but as they get older is more uncommon.

* Vulcan women have on occasion worn makeup. Buying makeup on Vulcan is uncommon, many women on Vulcan grow plants that can be use for make up such as flowers that can be ground for lipstick or a crushed leaf for rouge. These plants usually have other uses such as medical or as food.

* Sehlats are not the only pets Vulcans keep. They also keep small rodents and occasionally a ferret like animal too.

* Vulcan pet names are usually old Vulcan names no one uses anymore or names of monsters or animals from ancient Vulcan literature.

* Sehlats aren’t fed meat, but instead high protein grain and vegetables and eggs. Sehlats are naturally omnivores but the need for meat was bred out of thousands of years.

[yourlmanburg]

benchsquad meetup // benchtrio (& others) + reader

i know nothing about london zoo

word count: 1,485

(this hasn't been proofread or anything pls forgive how bad it is smh)

---

You hadn’t felt excitement like this since you received your invite to the Dream SMP, barely containing your smile as you sat on the train on your way to spend the day with your three best friends. You’d known Ranboo, Tubbo and Tommy for a good few months now after you met them through the server, and your friendship quickly solidified and morphed into an iconic group known as the “Bench Squad”, and today was the day you’d finally be meeting them in person.

It’d been agreed that you’d meet in London, film a Tom Simons vlog, and then meet up with Wilbur, Philza, Jack and Niki to film another vlog for your own channel before spending a few nights at Tubbo’s house. You had a busy few days ahead of you filled with recording and streaming but you couldn’t care less; you knew these were about to be the best days of your life. You passed the time with your airpods in your ears with your guys’ collab Spotify playlist blasting through your ears and catching up on missed vods and YouTube videos, when eventually the train came to a halt at your stop.

This was it. You were about to meet the people who meant the most to you.

You pulled out your bags as quickly as you could, not wasting a single second that could instead be spent with them. Shoving through the congregation of people and stopping one or twice to greet fans who recognised you, you made your way over to a less crowded area of the train station to shoot Ranboo a quick “where are you?” text. It took a few anxious minutes for him to reply, but once he did there was nothing stopping you from practically running to where they waited.

And there they were. You could see them not too far away now, two tall figures and a slightly smaller one stood in a row, looking around as if they were waiting for someone. It was then that you were struck with an idea, what if you just…

You snuck round to the other side of where they stood, making an effort not to be seen. You crouched down a little and creeped towards them, praying none of them turned round.

“BOO!” you shouted, successfully scaring the three of them and even a few poor strangers around you. With a smile you jumped straight into Ranboo’s arms, and you held each other tightly as the four of you grinned like children on Christmas day.

“Y/n!” Tommy and Tubbo exclaimed in unison, while Ranboo simply commented on the pun you accidentally made. You chuckled as you pulled away, wiping the tears from your eyes and readjusting your bags. This is the moment you’d been waiting for for so many months now.

“How was the journey?” Tommy asked after you’d greeted them properly and had begun to make your way out of the train station and to the location of where the vlog was going to be filmed.

“Wasn’t too bad, it was a bit scary doing it on my own and it took way too long but it could’ve been worse, I guess.” you replied, the smile seemingly glued to your face. “Where are we going again?”

“This way,” Tommy led you through many busy roads and you really wished you had somewhere to put your bags, which is why you were grateful when Ranboo offered to carry one of them for you. You thanked him profusely, rubbing your sore shoulder from where the heaviest bag had been resting. It took a while to get there so Tommy decided to film the vlog intro while you were all walking, though soon enough you found yourselves standing outside the great entrance to London Zoo.

“Here we are,” Tommy said as he held his phone up to the sign, clearly out of breath from all the walking, “We’re at the zoo!” he showed you and the other two on camera and you all waved, just as worn out as he was.

You went in and got all the registration sorted, and now you were free to do as you pleased! As you walked into the main area the gorilla enclosure immediately caught your eyes and you ran to see them, Tubbo in tow. Tommy started complaining to the camera as he caught up to you and Ranboo simply laughed, standing back and watching the “argument” you two were putting on for content.

The four of you walked around the zoo for a while, filming the majority of it and laughing and joking around with each other. You were having the time of your life, and it was far from over; you couldn’t wait to meet the others.

“Hold on a minute…” you interrupted Tommy filming Tubbo trying to get an Alpaca’s attention as a certain species caught your eye, and being close to the one and only Wilbur Soot made it impossible to miss. “Are they anteaters?”

“Thank God Wilbur’s not here, huh!” Ranboo chimed in, walking over and standing beside you. This still didn’t feel real.

“Can we go and see them?” Tubbo asked, but there was hardly a chance of anyone saying no. So now you were on FaceTime with Wilbur (who was already with Niki) as he gushed about how much he hated those damn creatures, pulling up the infamous list. None of you could stop laughing rather loudly and you certainly got many dirty looks, but you didn’t care.

The aquarium was quite something, too. One of the staff members got particularly mad at Tommy for tapping on the glass and shouting at the fish while you recorded him for a bit, which was definitely a sight to see. Needless to say, you rushed right past that woman the next time you guys saw her.

You saw so many incredible animals and had so many laughs with your friends, and you didn’t leave until late afternoon. It didn’t really matter though, there wasn’t much planned for your vlog. You guys made your way out of the exit and caught a taxi to take you to another place, wrapping up Tommy’s filming there. You admittedly almost fell asleep, but the calm conversation you were having with Tubbo kept you awake.

The taxi eventually pulled up outside a post restaurant which is where your vlog was going to be filmed. You didn’t choose anything too extravagant, the plan was for a short but entertaining video with you and your friends. It took about ten minutes of standing and waiting for the other four to turn up. First it was Philza, of course he was the only one on time. You suspected Niki would’ve been too, but she was probably being held up by Jack and Wilbur.

“OLD MAN!” you shouted, zooming in on him as the first clip of your vlog. He burst out laughing as he greeted you, asking if the others were here yet. “Nope! Bet they won’t be here for another two hours.” you joked, stopping the recording and talking to Phil and the others until they did eventually turn up.

Soon enough all eight of you were sitting at a table in a fancy restaurant, trying to decide what on earth you were going to order. You were squished in between Ranboo and Wilbur which made you feel particularly small, and Tommy was laughing at you from the other side of the table, Niki jokingly scolding him for being mean.

“What? I didn’t do anything!” he retorted, amping up his personality for the camera again.

“Neither did Y/n and you’re being mean to them!” Niki said, a smile evident on her face as you caught her eyes and laughed.

“Thank you, Niki, I believe Tommy should learn his lesson from a responsible adult.” you thanked her, Wilbur tuning in from his conversation with Ranboo, Tubbo, Phil and Jack.

“Tommy, stop being a dick.” He said bluntly, causing you all to burst out laughing.

“I agree.” Jack said with a deadpan face, earning an eye roll from Tommy.

“Oh, shut up Manifold!” He whined, failing to notice the very confused waitress standing over the table, waiting to take everybody’s orders. Phil was, of course, the one to apologise for all the commotion and you all took turns to let her know what you wanted, going straight back to your previous antics the moment she left.

You left the restaurant hated by most people who were in there, and you all found it funnier than it really was. You said goodbye to the adults and finished up your very chaotic vlog, making your way to another train station and taking the train back to Tubbo’s house. You got back quite late and all of you pretty much immediately crashed after such a busy yet fulfilling day. And it was the first of many.

[absolutepokemontrash]

MC’s Half Demon and They Look Awfully Familiar Part 4

(The side characters strike again!)

Part 1 Part 2 Lessons 1-5 Part 2.5 Group Retreat Lessons 10-12 Part 3

L!MC= Lucifer’s kid | M!MC= Mammon’s kid | A!MC=Asmo’s kid

Let’s get right to it!

The Uncle That Hardcore Simps For His Spouse In the Most Wholesome Way (Diavolo)

Gasp! More half-demon kids? Oh my! Maybe if he tried again next year a kid of his own would pop down! Hang on- he hadn’t slept with a human in almost a century... dang. No kids for him...

...maybe...

Remember when I said Diavolo would try to do those stereotypical dad (tm) things and be hip with the kids? Yeah he keeps doing that.

The number of broken windows related to wayward baseballs goes up 150%. At least that’s how they all figured out that M!MC is nearsighted like their dad!

M!MC had developed a bit of a habit of telling Diavolo about cool human stuff and making the Crown Prince even more interested in the human world than normal.

You may be thinking “what’s so bad about that?” well, the number of yo-yos at RAD went up so high that Lucifer had to ban them.

Belphie and Satan, being the rebels they are, became yo-yo masters specifically to spite Lucifer.

It was sort of like the fidget spinners craze if you were in school for that.

Oh, hi Lord Diavolo. What’s a fidget spinner? It’s this- I should stop talking...

Since no one learned their lesson from the previous incident, Diavolo threw another BBQ.

“Why are we doing this again?” L!MC asked to no one in particular.

“Don’t worry, L!MC. I’ve taken every precaution possible to make sure that what happened last time doesn’t happen again.” Diavolo said and continued in his crusade to cover the entire pathway with sidewalk chalk doodles.

L!MC, Luke, Diavolo, M!MC, Belphie, and A!MC were all busily drawing a wide variety of doodles and drawings with chalk while the other guests milled around nearby. A!MC was in the middle of drawing quite the nice looking Cerberus chibi, while M!MC and Belphie were drawing a lot of stick figures. L!MC and Luke had just finished a wonderful drawing of... an alpaca? Giraffe? Thing...? Hell, even they didn’t know what it was.

Diavolo looked over at M!MC’s stick figure army with a big smile on his face. “So what are all of them doing? It looks like that one’s flying!”

You could practically hear the Addam’s Family theme play as M!MC and Belphie looked at each other and grinned.

“Oh Belphie was just talking about L!MC’s flying lesson fails and I felt that an artist’s rendition was needed.” M!MC explained, he began to point out certain doodles. “Here’s L!MC getting up off the ground, then there’s them actually flying, and this is them falling in the fountain.”

L!MC looked over at the chalk and glared at M!MC. “It’s generous to call that an artist’s rendition. It looks like crap.”

“And what did you draw?” Belphie smirked at the alpaca-giraffe-thing, Luke protectively covered up the drawing (side note, Luke was wearing white and playing with sidewalk chalk, by the end of the day he looked like a walking pride flag).

“None of your business!” Luke huffed.

“And what about that one?” Diavolo seemed completely oblivious to the hostility brewing between the two groups, A!MC was completely used to this and walked away to grab a drink.

“Ah, good eye, Lord Diavolo!” M!MC chirped. “This is a drawing of the time L!MC almost burned down your kitchen.”

Diavolo laughed and gave M!MC a few pats on the head. “Very accurate!”

“You’re so lucky I followed the rules and didn’t bring a water gun...” L!MC growled as they slowly reached for their backpack.

“Yeah... lucky. Real lucky...” M!MC nodded as they tried to casually reach for their bag, Belphie followed suit.

“I’m so glad we all followed the rules.” Luke smiled, his own hand inching towards his bag.

There was a brief moment of stillness before the four of them whipped out their water guns and pointed them at each other.

“This BBQ ain’t big enough for the both of us!” M!MC’s terrible cowboy impression aside, their gun was poised to shoot directly at Luke and L!MC’s alpaca-giraffe-thing.

“Everyone, I know this is a human world tradition but-”

Belphie silenced Diavolo by pointing his water gun at him. “Sh, don’t talk unless you have a water gun as well.”

Deciding not to smite Belphie for treason, Diavolo pulled his own water gun out of his shirt. “Okay, what now?”

“Now, we’re in a standoff...” L!MC glowered at M!MC, the air was practically crackling with hostility...

Until a burst of flames got everyone to whirl around to see A!MC with hairspray and a lighter.

“No water guns! I refuse to go home shivering and covered in grass again!”

Crisis averted. Everyone went to go fail at throwing beanbags into a hole instead of shooting each other.

That was probably for the best... Belphie filled everyone’s water guns with paint.

The Uncle That Does All the Cooking for Family Dinners (Barbatos)

Remember how I said that Barbs liked smol Lucifer? Yea, he likes smol Asmo too. Smol Asmo is willing to admit that they don’t know how to use an oven and is willing to learn.

M!MC is formally banned from being within 50 feet of the kitchen. It’s for the best.

A!MC often tries to get Barbatos to look into the possible futures so they can see if they can avoid messing anything up and A!MC is just so adorable that Barbatos actually thinks about it.

He still says no every single time.

“Could you at least tell me if I have the possibility of doing something embarrassing in the near future?”

“My apologies, A!MC, but no.”

“P-please?”

“The answer remains the same.”

A!MC sighed and went back to helping chop vegetables. Under Barbatos’ tutelage, A!MC’s cooking ability had increased tenfold, they could now make as many burgers as they wanted without worrying about burning down the kitchen.

Pitying the anxious half-demon, Barbatos sighed. “I cannot confirm nor deny a future where your outfit gets ruined.”

A!MC perked up. “H-huh?”

“I cannot confirm nor deny a future where your outfit gets ruined.”

Quickly understanding what Barbatos was trying to do, A!MC quickly nodded and spent the rest of the cooking time carefully taking note of their surroundings.

“Hey! What’re you guys doin’?” M!MC had managed to get in... damn! Everyone must have been putting their best efforts in keeping Solomon away from the kitchen and forgot about M!MC...

“We’re just finishing up, M!MC,” Barbatos had on his ‘oh no...’ smile. “We don’t need any help.”

“Really? You guys sure?”

“Why are you so interested?” A!MC asked.

“Lucifer said that idle hands are the devil’s playthings and that I should go look for something productive to do.” M!MC huffed. “Very ironic phrase.”

“F-fine, I guess you can...” A!MC searched for the least destructive task they could give. “Take the utensils and set the table.”

M!MC gave them a mock salute and grabbed the utensils, as they turned to leave, they knocked a large bowl of chopped fruit over, sending the fruit pieces flying.

Remembering Barbatos’ prediction, A!MC didn’t bother to try and stop the fruit from falling, they only grabbed the nearest big plate they could find and shielded their outfit from harm. The fruit splattered harmlessly against the shield.

“Whoops... my bad. You alright, A!MC?” M!MC asked as A!MC inspected their outfit.

“Y-yes actually...” A!MC turned to Barbatos, who was already getting the cleaning supplies.

“Thank you!” A!MC whispered.

Barbatos smiled and nodded. “You’re very welcome, A!MC.”

Barbatos now has two sorta-children. A!MC and Luke!

M!MC means well, I swear! He just shouldn’t be allowed in a cooking environment!

The Cousin That Your Mom Points at and Goes “Look at Him, He Helps With the Dishes, Be More Like Him.” (Simeon)

Oh man... time for some more embarrassing stories.

“Asmo was the most adorable child, it’s a shame he was such a troublemaker...”

“Really? My dad?”

“What about mine?”

“I think you can guess.”

I cannot comment on Simeon’s help with flying lessons because I refuse to Headcanon what Simeon’s wings look like until canon gives us a GLIMMER. LIKE SERIOUSLY SOLMARE IM CURIOUS-

I have a feeling the children were quite curious as well.

“What do you think his wings look like?” M!MC asked A!MC as the two peered around the corner of one of the hallways in Purgatory Hall.

“I bet they’re super nice. But besides that...” A!MC leaned over and squinted. “Why is Simeon writing with a pen and pencil? He’s writing a book... shouldn’t he use a computer?”

“Bold of you to assume he knows how to use a computer.” M!MC snickered.

A!MC frowned. “Don’t be mean... I’m sure he knows how...”

Simeon picked up his DDD and took a picture of his face, seemingly by accident, with the flash on, causing him to drop the phone in surprise.

“Probably...”

The two surveyed their angel friend like two wildlife documenters, here we see, the Simeon, not in his natural habitat, surrounded by confusing technology...

“Do you think if we scare him his wings might pop out in surprise?” M!MC wondered aloud, A!MC shrugged.

“Maybe... but I don’t think we should bother him...” A!MC whispered. “He looks busy.”

“What are you two doing?”

It took literally every bit of willpower for the two half demons to not scream in absolute terror at the sudden interruption.

Ah... it was just Solomon... in an apron... Solomon... in cooking clothes...

Oh no.

“Spying on Simeon?” Solomon asked.

“N-no...” A!MC giggled nervously. “Just crouching casually in this hallway...”

“...smooth, A!MC.” M!MC rolled their eyes.

“Well, it’s great that you two are here, I made lunch!”

A!MC and M!MC looked at each other in pure horror, they needed to get out of there!

“Uh- um... we’d love to but...” M!MC looked around frantically before just pointing at a random spot behind Solomon. “LOOK! A DISTRACTION!”

A!MC and M!MC ran out of there as fast as their legs could carry them. Finding out if Simeon had wings was not worth being poisoned. Not at all...

Good ol’ Simeon... Mr. Cristopher Peugeot on the other hand- M!MC had some questions for him.

“TSL is literally the most popular book series ever, does that mean you’re completely loaded?”

“Oh, no I’m not, I don’t have any use for human world money in the Celestial Realm. All the profits go to charity.”

“...Dude really?”

“That’s nice of you, Simeon!”

“You didn’t keep any of it..?”

Wait... Who the Hell Are You..? (Solomon)

So A!MC basically has three dads; Fabulous-dad, butler-dad, and wizard-dad!

“So you just... have capes lying around?”

“Yes, would you like a cape?”

“Okay if they don’t take the cape I want it.”

Solomon shows up to RAD with his nails painted different wacky styles every week, courtesy of A!MC.

Though- the unholy combination that is M!MC and Solomon is feared by all.

“Road work ahead?”

“Uh, yeah I sure hope it does.”

Solomon and M!MC’s rampant quoting of vines elicited another glare from Lucifer.

Despite Solomon having literally been alive since the seven rulers of hell were angels, he had kept up with pop culture fairly decently. Decently enough that M!MC had someone that wasn’t Levi to bounce memes off.

“Pff...” M!MC suppressed a laugh at a seemingly normal water bottle advertisement. “Enslaved moisture.”

“I’m not going crazy, right Simeon? You’re hearing this too?” Lucifer tiredly turned to the angel, who shook his head.

“This is just the tip of the iceberg. Solomon quacked at M!MC earlier and they lost their minds laughing about it.” Simeon shrugged, unbothered by the sorcerer and the half demon’s rampant meme-ing behind them.

Lucifer on the other hand, was quite bothered. Incredibly bothered, if you will. “If you two don’t shut up right now I’m going to-”

“Quick! We must abscond!” Solomon turned and heelied away, followed by M!MC. The shoes that Mammon bought to replace the ones lost during the casino incident were apparently heelies as well...

The day was saved when a rock jammed one of Solomon’s wheels and he slammed face first into the concrete. Yikes... that had to hurt.

A!MC had fun glow in the dark bandaids for Solomon to patch up his face. Even though he he could heal himself with magic, he let A!MC do what they wanted because they were just too adorable to say no to.

Asmo has pictures

The Cousin Squad (tm)

(Luke, L!MC, A!MC, and M!MC)

Ah yes, the bab squad. The most adorable group in the Devildom. Surrender your candy immediately or face destruction.

M!MC teases the crap out of Luke, and A!MC tries to stop it, but L!MC is the one who manages to actually make M!MC stop.

Only L!MC gets to pick on the smol angel. GOT IT?!

A!MC and Luke are already baking buddies because of butler-dad so they get along swimmingly.

Poor Luke’s the victim of many of M!MC’s shenanigans.

Luke: Are you sure this is safe, M!MC?

M!MC (about to put mentos into the bottle of coke Luke is holding): No.

L!MC and A!MC get along really well, being honest, everyone loves A!MC.

A!MC makes sure L!MC gets some sleep because they don’t want their cousin picking up on Lucifer’s habit of living off of coffee and coffee alone. L!MC doesn’t get it but they’re very grateful anyway.

M!MC and A!MC were friends from the start. Well... M!MC decided they were friends right from the start and A!MC did not have the ability to fight the power of friendship.

M!MC: You are being befriended. Please do not resist.

Since M!MC is great and amazing like their pop, they took it upon themselves to be the friend that speaks up when A!MC is too nervous to do so.

M!MC and L!MC? Lucifer and Mammon 2 electric boogaloo. Sorta.

L!MC and M!MC bicker all the time but the babs bounce back from their fights way easier.

One minute they’re at each other’s throats and the next they’re showing each other memes.

“There’s no escaping this.”

Lucifer stood between M!MC and the door... their one way ticket to freedom...

“You need to go to the dentist.”

The entire HOL plus the Purgatory Hall crew were getting ready to go visit the dentist to get their teeth cleaned. It was the time of the year that Mammon dreaded most... and his child felt the same way.

“My teeth are fine! Lemme stay home! I’ll hold down the fort with dad!” M!MC smiled and nodded as enthusiastically as they could, but even the most unobservant person couldn’t miss the sweat beading on their forehead.

“Beel.” Lucifer snapped his fingers and before M!MC could do anything Beel had thrown them over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

“Don’t worry M!MC, the dentist isn’t that scary.” Beel tried to assure them. By the way M!MC was still kicking and screaming, they were not convinced.

“Y-yeah kiddo, suck it up! Don’t be a baby! I’m just gonna take my car there-”

“MAAAAAAMOOOON?!”

“YIKES!”

Lucifer had the important task of keeping a hold of Mammon as the very large group made their way to the dentist’s office.

A devious little idea popped into L!MC’s head as they all sat down in the waiting room. They began to hum a familiar little tune.

“She said be a deeeentiiiist~ a dentist!” L!MC sang to M!MC, who’s attempts to escape increased tenfold after hearing the song.

A!MC began to hum along, not seeming to notice the commotion going on next to them.

“Son be a deeentiiiiiist~ people will pay you for causing them PAIN! She said be a deeentiiiiiist~”

Belphie perked up and smiled deviously as he realized what L!MC was doing, he began to sing along as well. The three were a veritable choir of terror to poor M!MC. Mammon did not understand his child’s terror and was more unnerved by what a great team Belphie and L!MC made.

Satan rolled his eyes and tried to focus on his book, Asmo was absorbed in his magazine, Levi was having a very in depth conversation with the fish in the aquarium, Simeon and Solomon chatted about school, and Luke was stuck watching the train wreck go down.

Thankfully, it was halted by Lucifer. “L!MC, A!MC, Belphegor, stop tormenting M!MC with show tunes.”

“You would have made a good dentist in another life, Lucifer,” Belphie cooed. “You know what they say, the only difference between a dentist and a sadist is that one has newer magazines.”

Asmo grimaced at his magazine. “Is it the sadist? Because I’m reading a magazine from 1843...”

The conversation was interrupted by one of the dental hygienists coming into the waiting room and saying that Mammon was up first. The Avatar of Greed’s final escape attempt was foiled by Satan (not even looking up from his book) clotheslining him.

Thirty minutes later, Mammon emerged from the forbidden dentist room, with the look of trauma in his eyes and eating a lollipop.

One by one, the group went in, A!MC took it upon themselves to try and make the rapidly panicking Luke feel better.

“It won’t be too scary, in the human world dentists are usually very nice.” A!MC smiled encouragingly.

“I-I’m sure that’s true but...” Luke looked around. “We aren’t in the human world...”

Asmo skipped back in and flashed a blinding grin to the group. “Absolutely perfect, no flaws! It’s your turn, A!MC!”

“If you die I get to say I told ya so!” M!MC shouted as A!MC walked into the dentist’s room.

They did not in fact, die because of the dentist. A!MC walked out and gave a thumbs up. “The dentist said they had never seen a kid with such perfect teeth.”

“That’s my baby!” Asmo chirped.

“M!MC, you’re up.” A!MC and Beel had to practically drag the poor kid out of the room and into the dentist area of doom.

“GO BE A DEEEEEENTIIIIIIST!” Belphie and L!MC shouted one last time as the doors shut. Wow, what dickheads...

Mammon probably would have tried to save his poor little bugger, but he was in the middle an impromptu therapy session with Simeon over the scary scraping dentist knife thingie.

Beel was the last to go, and he walked out of the dentist’s room with his face covered in blood, the dentist walked out after him, missing a hand.

“You tasted like toothpaste.” Beel sighed. “Not good.”

“Don’t worry,” The dentist said to Luke, who looked like he was about to pass out. “My hand will grow back in about four to five minutes.”

Luke, still terrified, nodded. L!MC patted him on the shoulder.

“Anyway, almost all of you are fine, but I have to recommend M!MC to the orthodontist.” The dentist flipped through their notepad one-handed. “Their secondary set of fangs are coming out crooked and need to be corrected with braces immediately.”

M!MC sat calmly for a moment, then attempted to sprint out the door. “NO NO NO NO NO!” One of the dental hygienists grabbed them by the back of their shirt and halted their escape.

“Sucks to be you.” L!MC smirked.

“And L!MC needs to fix their cross bite, braces are a strong possibility.”

The colour drained from L!MC’s face as the news dawned upon them. “Pardon, but what exactly are you talking about..?”

“Your top jaw and bottom jaw aren’t properly lined up.” The dentist explained. “It will lead to problems later if it’s not fixed now.”

Lucifer rubbed his temples and sighed. “L!MC, if you try and run away I swear...”

L!MC stiffened and shook their head. “I’m not some coward, I’m not running away. Just... what exactly are you going to do to my mouth?”

The dentist pulled up a few pictures of the braces and explained what would be done. L!MC nodded, and turned to their father with a big smile on their face.

“It won’t be so bad, mind if I go to the bathroom before I get the mold for my teeth made?”

Lucifer nodded and almost audibly sighed in relief. He basked in the glory of having a child that wasn’t afraid of the dentist and faced their fears like an adult-

L!MC sprinted past the dentist’s office, they had busted out of the bathroom window.

“...Beel.”

“Yep.”

A few minutes later, Beel returned with a completely irate L!MC who was screaming their demands to be put down and be allowed to run for the hills. Taking advantage of the distraction, M!MC ran for the door again, only for Belphie to tap them on the forehead.

M!MC collapsed into a snoring heap on the floor.

“FATHER! DON’T MAKE ME DO THIS!” L!MC practically screamed as they tried to wrestle themselves out of Beel’s bear hug.

Lucifer rolled his eyes. “L!MC, calm yourself down. It’s just braces.”

“AS EVERYONE HERE AS MY WITNESSES I’LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS! NEVER!”

The half-demons in need of braces were dragged right back into the dentist’s area... poor fools.

“They’ll be okay... right?” Luke asked.

“Of course they will be. It’s just braces.” Simeon patted Luke on the head. “They’ll both be fine.”

The scream that came from down the hall right after Simeon said that did not reassure anyone.

“Hey,” Mammon piped up. “How much do braces cost?”

“From what I know about dental procedures,” Satan rubbed his chin. “A few thousand Grimm.”

“Mammon if you try and run for that door I will cut your credit card into a thousand pieces.” Lucifer growled.

Overall, it was a fairly average trip to the dentist. 0/10 would not recommend. A few weeks later L!MC and M!MC were fitted with their mouth prisons- I mean braces, and the two cousins bonded over their horrific mouth pain...

Seriously- braces suck.

——————————————

So! Those are the headcanons! Four and a half whole parts... phew... To all the people who enjoyed this series, thank you so so much for reading! You guys have been so super nice!

Fret not, I plan on writing more for this universe! From what I know about season 2 of Obey Me things will get... interesting. Stay tuned for more! Or don’t, I can’t force you.

...or can I?

[thewriterowl]

Dinluke Modern AU Ideas

Luke is a vet and the only place that will seriously look at Grogu’s pet frog. Din just wants his son to be happy and has no idea how to be a pet dad...the cute vet is happy to help him out.

Din, a lawyer, has recently adopted his son and wants a tattoo for his son--he finds a very cute tattoo artist to do it.

Luke writes children's books and does his own audiobooks (and does all the voices) and Grogu is a massive fan and wants to go meet him at an event.

Din is a trauma therapist and Luke is a physical therapist and they both are working together to help a Grogu after he was rescued from Gideon. They both like each other but are trying to keep things professional for the sake of Grogu, though they all start to realize they are becoming a family.

Luke runs a farm and Grogu is fascinated by a farm life rather than the city...so of course Din is going to pick up his entire life and move into the country so his son can have the life he wants. Luckily, Luke is more than happy to help his new neighbors who are very out of the water in their new life.

Din is a comic artist and his work has been picked up for a series (like Invincible) and he is allowed to be part of the creative work and he is trying to find the perfect voice actor...and then here comes Luke.

Bread baker Luke...just bread baker Luke. Probably favorite AU position for him. He has a little shop that is doing great to the point he needs help...and well, this single dad has some really nice arms that’s great for handling bags of flour and is amazing in making coffee...and well...he’s hired! It just gets a little tight in the small store with a man this size working there, but Luke is not about to complain.

Yarn-shop AU! One owns a little alpaca and sheep farm and the other owns a yarn show that buys the materials. Yarn-shop owner teaches alpaca-owner how to crochet!

Sexy and sweet where Lando owns a BDSM Club and is trying to come in. Din is a professional Dom who does it cause he does like it but mostly lost his “passion” for it and is doing it because he makes good money...and then he is requested by the boss to help his shy friend unwind and learn how to be a sub.

Garden Witch Luke! He makes amazing herbs and flowers and other items that have great flavor or help cleanse areas or eases bad colds. Din isn’t a believer but poor Grogu has a nasty allergy or cold that won’t go away and he’s desperate and he goes to Luke’s little shop and Grogu is all better! Now he visits Luke at least once a week.

[jaskiersvalley]

Much love to you and your writing dearest!! I was scrolling the internet the other fine day and came across an animal called the Maned Wolf, researching it, it looks like a fox but it’s not a fox NOR a wolf, but why I bring it up, is because I see Jaskier as one. If you look at pictures, the maned wolf is quiet long, very long legs, and because of the fox appearance I would think it’s rather playful, any who, I love your work and I hope you’re having a good day sweet pea!!

Two things Nonnie, firstly, I’m sat here grinning because I don’t think anyone has called me ‘sweet pea’ before and that is just delightful. Secondly, Jaskier as a Maned Wolf is so spot on! You have the mind of a genius. Alas, an idea has run away from me and I wish to apologise for the silliness in advance.

Everyone had an animal form. Children first shifted around the age of five and often enjoyed extended periods discovering their animal form. There was such a variety of forms, everything was a possibility from soft lamb to fierce tiger. A few unlucky were butterflies or guppies. Birds were also quite wide spread, it wasn’t unusual to see a flock of mismatched birds learning to fly together. People often travelled in their animal form, it was often quicker and easier than as a human. There was no taboo around forms and people shifted between human and animal as it suited.

Despite this, witchers didn’t shift. Rumours split opinion as to why that was. Some people believed that the mutations made their animal forms monstrous. A dog morphed into Cerberus, a gorilla into a drowner. It was quite common to believe only the fiercest of animal forms got taken as witchers, mutated so they could fight their own kind, monster against monster. However, other people thought witchers didn’t shift because they couldn’t. They believed the mutations whisked away the animal form but pulled the mentality of the animal form into the human body.

Neither theories were quite right, as Jaskier learned. He had followed Geralt up The Killer on four legs, finding it easier and warmer to navigate the path as a maned wolf. His long legs certainly helped with that. It was a shame Geralt didn’t shift, he’d promised he would when they got to Kaer Morhen but no sooner. Jaskier could be patient, he curled up against Geralt during the nights, basking in the warm touch.

Kaer Morhen was strangely full. From the stories Jaskier had managed to draw from Geralt, it used to be just the four wolves wintering together if they all made it. However, they were greeted by an additional witcher and a human too. Plus Jaskier himself. Which meant Kaer Morhen was as full as it had been since the sacking.

They were all settled in and heading down for dinner. Frustratingly, Geralt hadn’t shifted yet, something about a time and place. Jaskier was too busy watching him to pay attention to where he was going and he almost fell face first as he tripped over a large rabbit. It was huge and so very angry, cute little brows pulls down and back leg thumping to express deep displeasure.

“Sorry Vesemir,” Geralt called as he righted Jaskier.

“Wait!” Immediately, Jaskier was peering down at the giant rabbit. “That’s Vesemir?”

In the blink of an eye Vesemir was standing in front of them and rubbing his hip where Jaskier’s foot had caught him.

“That a problem, bard?”

It was unexpected, a Belgian Giant as a witcher’s animal form. Jaskier couldn’t quite get over it but he shook his head. Not that things got any better. They walked into the dining hall and there was the most adorable creature sat on the table.

“What is that?”

“Aiden,” Lambert said as he strolled in. “Oi, brat! What did we say about butts on the table?”

The quokka gave a smiling glare and Jaskier was mesmerised. A rabbit witcher was surely a fluke. But with another innocent looking animal, maybe there was something going on. Turning to ask Geralt about it, Jaskier gasped. Geralt wasn’t behind him. Well, he was but not as a human. Instead, a roe deer stared up at him with large, dark eyes. His hooves clopped on the stone ground as he walked towards the kitchen, head held high.

“No animals in the kitchen!” Eskel’s voice called. Before Geralt could turn around, an alpaca bounded over. It was Cahir who had to chase them from the kitchen with a wooden spoon wielded like a weapon. Geralt had a cucumber in his mouth and he dutifully shared his spoils with Lambert in the corner. Even Aiden clambered closer and snatched some of Lambert’s portion. Jaskier had so many questions.

Vesemir stood by his shoulder, watching. “The first attempts were a miserable failure. The witchers were too violent, too aggressive. They were selected based on their animal forms, tigers, sharks, bears. But it was too much, they were uncontrollable. Something softer was needed. The meekness of gentle animals, lambs, sloths, chinchillas, they could weather the mutations without losing their humanity.”

Which left a question about Eskel. However, Vesemir shook his head and promised they would show more in the next couple of days.

It seemed that witchers loved spending time in their animal forms. As the most dangerous one there, Jaskier felt responsible for the witchers in their animal forms. Not that Eskel or Cahir ever shifted. They kept very much human and seemed content. When the weather allowed, they went on excursions. Lambert and Geralt happily bounced through the undergrowth, playing some intricate game of tag and leap. Vesemir and Aiden were more content snuffling around, close to Jaskier. While it seemed that Jaskier was the predator guarding his herbivores, the reality was very much the opposite.

On a sunny afternoon they made it up to the lakes. Jaskier watched as Cahir and Eskel happily waded in, clothes discarded on the shore. One blink and Eskel suddenly disappeared. There wasn’t a ripple on the surface to suggest he had dived down. Puzzled, Jaskier stood on the edge of the lake and stared at the water. He almost missed the oranda goldfish swimming up to him. Such a decorative fish was do out of place in the wild and Jaskier blinked. He shifted back to human form out of surprise.

“Eskel?”

Next to him, Lambert sat on the ground and reached into the water to poke the fish. If fish could scowl, Jaskier was certain he had just seen it, the goldfish looked pissed off and pushed away from under the questing finger. A splash drew Jaskier’s attention and his jaw dropped. Where Cahir had been was a giant freshwater stingray. He was magnificent, spanning several meters in size. But absolutely useless in terms of an animal form.

“Our little water babies.” Lambert almost sounded proud. “I had an aquarium for Eskel but then we found Cahir and, well, he can’t exactly fit in a large jar.”

Suddenly, Jaskier was so very grateful for his form. He could protect himself if needed but didn’t look threatening. Hell, he was even quite pretty, if he was honest with himself. Nobody started anything funny when faced with a snarling maned wolf. Add in the bonus of it being practical, he didn’t shift and suddenly find himself drowning in air, Jaskier found a new peace with his form. And, he knew he would guard the witchers’ secret with his life. Cute, fluffy and inoffensive. There was more of a chance someone would choke on Eskel as a fish than him doing and damage. It wasn’t like he could slap his opponent hard with a flick of his tail. Then again, Jaskier didn’t make a habit of fighting in his animal form. Geralt almost always stepped in when needed, fully human and imposing. Though, some part of Jaskier wanted to know what the reaction would be if a soft, harmless looking deer butted into a fight. He made sure he’d never find out though, too protective of his innocent witchers to betray them like that.