#like idk. making money. or smth.
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the fact that there are dudebros out there that take inclusion of different pronouns and body types in modern vidia games as attack on men and masculinity as a whole...
#they write whole articles and essays about it... *pfffft!*#my dudes. my guys. i think that vidia game industry has different priorities than attacking your whiny masculine asses...#like idk. making money. or smth.#and there are far more burning problems within that industry than it just 'being woke' and deciding to include they/them & other pronouns#yt recommendations really took me places today LOL#blah blah text post
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Okay but why did they never have any holiday themed POI episodes?
More specifically, how come they never had a Halloween episode and played “Somebody’s Watching Me” by Rockwell in the background?
#THEY MISSED AN EXCELLENT OPPORTUNITY THATS ALL#BUT ALSO CHRISTMAS#SANTA CLAUS IS COMIN TO TOWN PLAYING AND FINCH AND REESE GIVE EACH OTHER A SIDE EYE WITH ‘HE SEES YOU WHEN YOURE SLEEPING HE KNOWS WHEN—‘#LIKE CMON#also I wanted a team machine secret santa gift exchange in the midst of all the Samaritan craziness#like Reese gets Shaw - Shaw gets Root - Root gets Finch - Finch gets Reese#I’d picture Reese gifting Shaw the keys to his old motorcycle#(cuz he’s a cop now and doesn’t use it)#and it’s in a small box so at first Shaw’s like ‘this better not be a necklace’ and he’s like ‘just open it’#and they’re all aloof and it’s funny but also touching#then I picture Shaw just gifting herself to Root like#*slaps a bow on her head* ‘for the next twenty four hours we can do whatever you want’#and idk they have a girls day (you know getting their nails done - shopping for shoes - going to the gun range - making out - etc)#Root gifts Finch a rare painting or smth sentimental to him like that#but she tries to do it without like stealing anything (to ease his conscience)#(she’s mostly successful)#‘relax Harry I bought this. with money.’ ‘your money?’ ‘…’ ‘it was your money right??’#and idk what Finch gets Reese but I imagine it’s both sentimental and practical so he can use it often#and they have another ‘thanks for giving me a purpose’ moment and it’s gay as hell and we’re all happy#and they all pitch in and buy Fusco some funny ties or smth#and Bear gets lots of toys and treats cuz he’s the best boi#wow uh#you know what I’m not deleting all that imma just keep it in but just to recap this was about Halloween and a funny song they could’ve used#person of interest#poi#john reese#harold finch#sameen shaw#root#🎶song sings🎶
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So I was looking at waiter Yakumo and noticed that he had wavy hair. His hair straight normally so who was the one who curled his hair? DOES KLEIN EVEN HAVE CURLING IRONS???? Anyways all of this is to say please imagine Eiden helping Yakumo get ready and that involves putting those old timey curlers in Yakumo's hair before he went to bed so he can have curls the next morning
uhdisomFINMF u are making me IMAGINE!!!!!! yakumo about to apply for the job and wondering if he should present himself a certain way eiden going ;))) you look sexy with your hair pushed back ;))) (but before yakumo can stutter out his embarrassment) eiden gives him the very encouraging "but for real i think you look great as you are!! <3" then aster crashes onto the scene and announces that he will not have his servants treasured colleagues looking anything less than PEAK presentable!!!!! *whips out the old timey pink hair curlers*
#aster asking if a uniform is gonna be provided and if it's not up to his standards he will get it TAILORED for yakumo or smth#he'll get the custom made snake brooch ready within a day LOL#aster's generosity of spirit gives Master Eiden more eye candy#and anything that makes Master happier is worth the time and money <3#idk why but i just imaged aster being the only one in the mansion to own hair curlers#'but mr aster!! i... i haven't gotten the job yet!!'#'pishposh this is you we're talking about of course you're gonna get the job NOW STAND UP STRAIGHT n lemme get a look at u'#not like aster needs to actually look at yakumo to get his measurements. that lil vampire has everyone's measurements memorised LOL#after aster establishes yakumo's beauty routine and uniform standards ahahah he leaves it to eiden to enforce#so eiden does indeed end up putting curlers in yakumo's hair every night before work#not for too long though! one time yakumo did it himself but fell asleep reaaally early and the next day he was extra wavy#like.... full on princess curls... how did he accomplish that... how dense is his hair actually......#i imagine blade hustling in during aster's demo and going#OH!!!! you know what!! i got better at drawing maps on people!!! darling got a little lost last time#but for little yakumo i'll make sure to draw the MOST helpful map for you!!!! i've been practising!!!#*draws a compass on yakumo's wrist*#eiden in the background: heaves a silent sigh of relief that blade didn't actually stick-and-poke tattoo yakumo#puzzling invitation#nu carnival yakumo#feesh answer
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i want (need) new glasses so badly but i HAAAATEEEEEE shopping for them it's always so awkward when the workers just glare at you the whole entire time lmao i understand that they have to keep an eye on the customers bc well what if somebody steals/breaks them right but man you don't have to shoot lasers into me
#LIKE YOU'RE MAKING ME NERVOUSSSS#AND THEN I CAN'T FOCUSS#HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#anyway i think i want the 'office siren' glasses#idk what the real name of those are#well there are different types#mine are round and relatively big but i feel like smaller ones would suit me a bit better#there's another big con about this whole new glasses thing#they're so#expensive#SOOOOO EXPENSIVEEEEEEEEE#i need to get my eyes checked too#hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#maybe.. i'll ask my parents to give me money as a christmas present or smth....................................#sighhh i want i want i wantttt#mayor of loserville
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what if i snapped and made an oc carrd
#i mean.... i could#this isnt the first time ive thought of doing it but i drop ocs so easily its not even funny. so idk if itd be worth it#id consider toyhouse or smth but i dont have money lol. right now everythings on artfight but thats more for drawing purposes#what ocs would i even talk abt... i have some standalones like auggie and ocs i think look cool but dont plan on using#but some others have their own stories.. not like a huge thought out plot but something i pick up and twirl around in my head#like luckys whole deal is being a hiking guide who accidentally gets tied up with some werewolves pretending to be a hiking group to eat pp#and then i have the magician rivals. although i kinda wanna tie theirs with the nightguard and thief story ive been cooking. maybe in the#same universe? it would be pretty funny if they lived in the same apartment complex since a couple stories i have in mind revolve around th#its like some sort of omnibus or anthology to me. kicks my feet#and then fan characters like xin ya and sleight who i want to have their own expanded lore and stuff. i think that would be cool#im making crow a powerpoint of xins updated lore but the assignmence are making it hard. hopefully it turns out good though#i have a hard time writing personality and xins is always the hardest bc theyre probably the least like me. i tend to stick to#characters similar to myself to get in their head. but bc their backstory affects their personality so strongly i have to do some thinking#anyway. hopefully i remember this later#yapping#oc#oc talk#ive also been playing neko atsume recently for nostalgia and why did we as a society ever stop playing it. its so chill#you just take pictures of silly little cats and leave them silly little toys and treats. and the music is cute
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im a little embarrassed to post this one but i spent so much time on it so here
#puts this down and runs away#im a firm believer in a gnc jon but only when it makes him look like a librarian or a cougar#i dont think he can do anything else#anyways they're at like an institute event or smth idk. my fav genre of tma fic is ''elias throws a workplace party for no reason''#maybe its fundraising or smth. trying to get the lukases to give them more money#thats not how it works but idc <3#my art#tma#the magnus archives#jonathan sims#martin blackwood#jonmartin#takes place in like late s1 probably
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Guess who just bought a keychain of the Jin-eating-burger photo that I won’t stfu about!!!
#thank you eBay 🙏 thank you Wendy’s collaboration 🙏 amen god bless peace on earth#im so low on money but I’m breaking myself for the fucking Jin eating burger keychain/standee 😭 I meannn how can I not it’s literally my pf#Jin really do be eating that burger tho damn that’s crazyyy 🍔🍔#im so excited hehe#watch the package not deliver or smth LMAOOO ID CRYYY#I never use eBay im nervous lowkey 😞#my mom deadass bought it on her account idk why I’m tripping#💀#Jin-eating-burger standee/keychain pls make ur way to me carefully and safely and packaged w care pls…pls….🙏🙏#my first piece of Jin merch omg…#I wanted to get the takaya one so bad but I’m soooo fucking broke lmfaoo 😭😭#me applying for a job and listing my reason for applying as “want money for takaya sakaki merchandise’’#LMFAOO#I’d also like the chidori one so I could have all of Strega#but alas#as long as I have Jin I’m good to go 🙏🙏#if you EVER hear me complaining in the future say “Gio remember you have Jin-eating-burger standee in ur possession’’#and I will immediately stop complaining and instead start counting my blessings ☺️#very excited abt this if you couldn’t tell#im so normal guys i promise#persona 3#persona#p3#persona 3 reload#jin shirato#(posting this from my drafts and I did end up buying the takaya one as well LMFAOO IM DONEEE#the lack of self control is craaazzzyyyy#takajin wedding alter creation upcoming?#IM JOKINGGG
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so sorry for disappearing :( i miss yall lots. i open tumblr every day and think ill finally reply to people and reply to asks but then i just don't do it. i feel bad that i always have to come here and apologize (even though i know i shouldn't have to or feel the need to) and i always feel like im being down 24/7 /:
truthfully i stepped away because my depression has been at it's worst and everything is beginning to feel like a chore and i don't want to bring that energy here at all :(
i miss you guys and i'm going to try and get my shit together soon and reply to everyone. hope everyone is well ❤️
#ive been mostly on twt tbh#but yea#im sorry guys#im just like#not okay#this has been a very bad month#and life is very overwhelming and im overwhelmed and tired and just#im trying so hard#everything fr just crashed all at once tonight and i felt like i should come say smth tonight lol#i really need to come back and write but it's not making me feel better#i've also been busy trying to find online work because i have no money and nobody is taking me#there's just#so much going on#between money issues and me being soooooooo lonely that it's eating away at me i'm just dusbsjsshxjsj#anyway#idk if im gonna post again after this for a hot min i kinda wanna wait till march#we'll see
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Just saw your head bonk comic so are you better????? You went to a doc right??
my forehead is fine 👍 ive seen a doctor who actually listen (incredible shit) and im going to have to do another test (😔) and MRIs (😱) cause doc want to see if smth is pressing on my optic nerve (🫣)
#i just wokeup snd its fibeam. huh i did split open my forehead like three other tikes after thst#sound dramatic. VERY tiny scratches. Teeny tiny. all healed.#will keep updated if we find smth. if not then silence till we do idk.#it was epic tho. seeing a doctor who looked at my results and immediatly said ‘hm. thats not normal.’ and went on to order some tests!!#thats so different from ‘heh. doesnt even look That bad. dont worry about its nothing at all’ after going back and forth for half a year#unfortunately it cost money. sort of reumboursed ish but might make commish again if i need it#for a while i was starting to think ‘hey. maybe nothing is jappenîg and im exagerating. but doc went ‘thats not normal’ and im like oh#there IS smth happening agter all. this isnt like. me making it up. doc immediatly caugh on my right beong shit. yeayy#shouldng maybe andwer ask ag five am
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idk i think it fucking sucks that the only art i see for persona fics nowadays is art that was commissioned
#literally ask any writer we are not gonna be mad if you draw smth for our fics#just#link to it#or just say the name of it even like#in fact if you ever draw anything for smth ive written. i am kissing you gently on the forehead#and screaming and crying and throwing a fucking party#I dunno I just hate modern fandom culture that treats creators like content farms!!!#why do we have to pay ppl to get anything good in this world#im not shaming the artists ftr get that bank im fine w making money off fandom fuck copyright but like#as a pattern. this sucks#sera rambles#maybe I'll delete this in the morning idk
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not to get too real but we're reaching that phase of the job hunt where i can feel myself becoming less human with every application
#rambles#where's that one clip from the office where he's just slamming the table n screaming#this is in part due to seasonal depression. though i am eating fucktons of fish to try and offset it#salmon my beloved....anyway.#like. survival wise i'll be fine. even if i'm free floating for a little bit i know i have the skill and the safety net to be ok#but like. ego wise. it may not go very well for me i fear#my mom's telling me to start thinkin abt grad school if i can't get a job right away like? ?? you think i have that money#or that motivation? ...mother.........#i guess. neutral case scenario. i work part time or freeload while grinding leetcode and stupid little projects. until smth clicks#grinding leetcode is miserable btw. like. idk how ppl do it. i know u have to make it a habit thing but its so soulcrushing
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I hate how if you do art ppl will tell you to do something more valuable with your time. Dont get me wrong, they'll tell you your art looks so nice and stuff but then turn around right after like they didnt just say that and spout 'advice' at you. I hate how you have to prove the value in something to make it seem worthwhile. Like no Nisha, i dont do art because im good at it, i do it stay sane. I do it because it makes me happy. I do it because i stopped for a year and it was the most miserable year of my life. I dont care that it doesn't 'have value'. Shut up.
#esha rambles#art#what even decides the value of something?#does something that makes you happy not have value if its not making or going to make you money?#i hate this society that places so much value in time=productivity/money#what about happiness?? mental health???#ppl keep discussing declining mental health in society like its some big mystery#like idk have y'all ever thought maybe its the fact that everything we do has to have some kind of profit for it to have value?#i cant sit and think about life enough to find the beauty in it#every time i sit still all i feel is anxiety about life‚ the things happening in this world‚ whether I'll even get a job in the future#and thats not even scratching the surface#im feeling the anxiety crawling up right now as i sit and write this#and you know when i wasnt feeling this anxiety? WHEN I WAS PAINTING SMTH#im not even good at painting‚ i dont know enough about composition and color theory and hell about how the paint works#but GOD it gives me peace#i feel peaceful when im painting flowers#even if they look a bit weird and flawed‚ those are the only flaws in something of mine that i dont mind#i hate that people are alwas trying to take that away from me#i hate that i let them once#the tags are a bit big im sorryyyy#i just had to get it off my chest
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weird question but does anyone's know if there's like. a program or a site (preferably free) where you can create a timeline and you can click certain events on it to open like an explanation of each one or smth? 🤔 like an organized and interactive timeline basically. yeah
#i feel like it's smth you can do in fucking. i wanna say canva??? but idk how to use it so. yeah#i wanna make my au super fancy. so i won't actually spend money on this#unless it's like smth you can use for other things too ig.
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Jesus. Relevant to probably nobody but I’m reading War and Peace and wanted to know the translation of those 43 thousand roubles. A fucking 100,000,000 isk. Holy shit bro. HOW do you keep gambling that long??
#I mean what is Nikolai at this point? 20?#I can see myself like… idk. not being able to pay off a credit card bill of 100K (totally not smth I’m going thru rn. not at all)#but that’s…#genuinely not sure I will make that much money with all my paychecks in my life put together#what do I make a year? maybe 3-4 mil#before tax#Jesus Christ Nikolai#and also like. that’s not..#a morally acceptable sum from Dolokhov#I mean the whole thing was gross from the start of course#but. he chose THAT number#that’s just dooming the entire fucking family#over a turned down proposal from a 17 year old who loves someone else#god. no one did drama like Tolstoy. fuck
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I originally said it as a bit but my roommate and several friends have prompted me to actually follow through with doing it and tbh i kinda live for The Bit so i'm making another New tier on patreon for the funnies
#it's gonna be both funny to me and also scary#cuz i will cry and piss and explode if anybody subs to it#but just like. idk smth abt the idea of this tier is SUPER funny to me#it is very much not that I think anybody should spend this much money to support me monthly it's GENUINELY for THE BIT#i gotta be so so clear for that#i guess that's sorta what makes it funny to me like the concept anybody would be willing to spend that much money supporting my content hng
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#I did get to talk to a crisis counselor for an hour and it was more helpful than other hotlines I’ve used#what I rly need is for the structural issues to be solved n no counselor can do that. I face that on the other end of it as a social worker#and the interaction did feel v much like they were following a set of steps. but they personalized it enough to feel supportive#they validated me in ways I never rly get and I’m always saying I wish someone would just believe me n recognize what I go thru#we also talked abt how I’m like tired of always having to solve huge problems but that’s also smth im best at#like it sucks to have to handle all this but I’m good at handling it bc I have to be#the words they used were ‘drive’ and ‘independence’ which like lowkey meant the world even tho they don’t know me#n I told the person that. idk it didn’t make me feel better abt the situation but it made me feel better in that someone acknowledged it#n that I was even able to get a hold of someone competent n compassionate#it takes away that feeling of ‘and on top of it all I can’t seek help + a hotline will feel pointless’#idk. I may delete this and/or a bunch of my venting from today#not even as a shame thing but just. I need to be able to be honest Somewhere without being reminded of it too much after I’ve processed it#man it’s just like. it always feels condescending trying to help clients w Coping Strategies when what they need is money#and it’s like. if they only knew we have the same problem ourselves. would they trust us more or less#mine#txt#personal
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