#like idk what about it that makes me so genuinely angry and hateful nothing else in the world makes me so primally angry

[wolfisland]

i dont have the patience for any technical difficulty shit ever like discord send my messages or i will kill myself im not playing

[jellybeanium124]

Do you legitimately think men don't harass women in bathrooms? Like genuinely? Cause I can tell you right now, my middle and high school had shared bathrooms and the boys absolutely fucking harassed the girls all the fucking time.

To make fun of them when they heard period product wrappers and to make sex jokes.

I'd love to live in your world where people avoid eye contact in bathrooms 100% of the time, but alas, some of us live in the real world.

You not having a shitty experience with a predator or an abuser doesn't mean others have never experiences such.

I'm sorry that happened to you and I am aware this thing happens sometimes.

on an unrelated note, trans women are women. they aren't men. and they are much, much more likely (MUCH MORE!!!!!!!) to be assaulted than do the assaulting.

on a third unrelated note, you can go into whatever bathroom you want because there are no bathroom police. I (cis woman) have gone into multi-stalled men's bathrooms multiple times and nothing happened. I did not cross dress in order to do it. I didn't have to! because there are no bathroom police. I especially did not have to go thru the mega-hassle of getting T or doing any other sort of medical transition. I walked in there, boobs boobing, hair long, no make-up, and did my business and left. crazy how you can just like, walk thru doorways, huh. that's always the thing that gets me about your arguments. you can go into whatever bathroom you want, and so can everyone else, and the only thing stopping you are societal rules we impose on ourselves. there is no potty police. no bathroom brigade. no privy vigilantes. no can commanders. no facility fighters.

on a fourth unrelated note (brought to you by innuendo studios), you are falling for the conservative framework where bad things either happen, or they don't. school shootings happen or they don't. people either die from preventable illnesses or they don't. sexual assaults either happen or they don't. therefore there's no point to doing anything about it because you can't regulate evil. or, really, you can't regulate all evil. there is no world where every single assault, shooting, death from preventable illness, or whatever doesn't happen. you are leaving absolutely no room for scale. if one woman gets assaulted in the bathroom, then assaults happen and we all need to fear the penis!!!! when that's just not the world we live in. penises are not evil contraptions of the devil constantly trying to penetrate you. most people, regardless of gender, do not give a shit about you. most people mind their own damn business. nobody is out to get you. men are not constantly thinking about preying on you. they're probably thinking about football. or work. or music. or their kids. or shopping they need to do. or about their blorbos. or about plans this saturday they're looking forward to. or a million billion things that have absolutely nothing to do with you, some stranger they will never see again.

I'm not saying we should all go walk down strange dark alleyways at night hugging the wall but like... I am really genuinely sorry if you spend all your time afraid and angry. I've perused terf blogs on occasion. all y'all are afraid and angry all the time. and sure, that's just a tumblr blog. idk what you do offline. but anyways, you don't have to be afraid and angry all the time. you shouldn't be in a community that constantly affirms your worst fears in order to keep you afraid and angry. terfs prey on hurt, confused, scared women and tell them "yes, all men are evil!" and "yes, you are valuable just for being a woman!" and suck them into this ideology of hate (ironically this sentence is also a borrowed observation from the alt-right playbook, and maybe the fact that your movement does the same thing to you as the alt-right does to vulnerable, hurt, confused, and scared cishet white men should be a red flag but idk).

maybe that just sounds patronizing. but I mean it. you really don't have to be afraid and angry all the time.

but if you send me any more asks especially if they're nastier you're getting blocked.

[bibibbon]

MHA chapter 420 rant

New chapter new rant it's become somewhat of a thing at this point 😭

So hori's out here deflating any stakes or tension as always. I personally hated what happend last chapter with Izuku losing both his arms but I did wish for hori to continue on the path he chose instead of completely reversing it with some bs in this chapter. Heck I don't understand how Eri even had enough energy to heal his arms considering it was stated chapters before that she couldn't and shouldn't help Izuku it wasn't her fight and neither should she be forced to watch what's going on but here we are.

Heroes are hypocrites when it comes to Eri and she deserves better. Oh Eri the ever so lasting plot device. As someone that likes Eri's character and wished for her trauma and what she went through to be explored this is just bs and shows that the heroes are incompetent hypocrites at their jobs for allowing Eri to mutilate herself (the same thing overhaul did to himself) so she can be useful to these people who she views as her saviours?!?!?! Let's not even tall about the fact that ECTOPLASM stated that he helped her with that and allowed her to do that like?!?!? You're an adult who is supposed to be supervising the child and you almost failed to stop her from running away into the battlefield but allowed her to do that to herself. Let's also talk about how aizawa horribly failed as a guardian like its clearly stated in the chapter that she did want she did because she was inspired by aizawa and how he cut his leg off so she mimicked him so she can be helpful?!?! Aizawa isn't angry, worried or disappointed but shocked and that's it nothing else he doesn't even reprimand her like seriously 😑.

Present mic and kurogiri deserves better. We still don't know where present mic is but he deserves better than this I still hate how his feelings aren't acknowledged in this bs and he is just there pushed to the side as support. Kurogiri is a mix at this point they seem to realise that oh oboro is dead he ain't coming back but kurogiri is acting on memories that haven't died and to be honest Iam sick of hori drawing the same memory panel over and over we should just get new content show us them play fighting or doing something that friends do idk 🤷‍♀️

Wasted potential aizawa at this point. I lasted made a post about aizawas wasted potential but dam does it really show and basically at this point hori reduced all the characters involved in the kurogiri situation to just that and it's sad like we could of had more and we should of. Aizawa was doomed from the start as he was hori's mouthpiece which sucks

Iam not a fan of everyone coming in to fight AFO. I already hate the fact that AFO is back but having everyone who hasn't had a big moment or can still fight yet come into the fight is horrible. Iam ok with having a few characters come in but having some endgame avengers type of thing is horrible especially because class 1A and izuku aren't shown to have a strong bond a lot of the time it's one of the reasons why the vigilante arc fails and why a lot of other moments concerning class 1A and izuku fail.

Iam a fan of the civilians trying to help however they can but no inko?!?!!?!!. I loved that we got the page of civilians genuinely wanting to help Izuku and offering their shirts to stop the bleeding also even though we don't get much from the all might guy I genuinely loved the development he has gone through. Sadly, I was expecting to see inko in this chapter and considering we had a whole page dedicated to the civilians it's sad that we didn't get any update on inko as she was probably there watching what happend to her son

Eri's dream. I loved that Eri's dream is something way outside of heroics and it's something that doesn't involve her quirk at all. It makes me remember of izuku holding her hand and telling her that he supports her dream. I wonder if Eri and jirou hang out often or anything considering that jirou is Eri's inspiration or if present mic also inspired Eri. it's sad that Eri's character is never truly explored considering what happend to her this chapter and the double standards that are with both heroes and villains.

ALSO MONOMA YOU DESERVE BETTER YALL TELLING ME THAT DENKI ALREADY QUIRK EXHAUSTED IS OUT HERE FIGHTING BUT MONOMA CANT FOR SOME REASON IS VILE

[mangora]

Was thinking about this at work but as much as I love the twist at the end of No One Eggspects the Spanish Inquisition and actually enjoy the whole episode, I also think it’s kinda…misplaced?? If that makes sense? Like I think Alejandro switching out the idols was clever, I genuinely didn’t expect it, and I thought the dialogue during the confrontation and the other cast reactions were pretty solid; but the thing with Aleheather for me is that they’re perfectly matched. Having Alejandro pull one over on Heather like that just felt unsatisfying, because it wasn’t like in WT when Alejandro and Heather would both win some interactions and lose others until Heather eventually won because she leaned into her more heroic side and/or Alejandro was defeated as both a symbol of antagonism and as a climax in his characterization wherein his pride and manipulative tactics finally resulted in his own downfall— Heather spent her time bickering with Jo or trying to prove Alejandro was lying, he spent it mostly being snarky with her, and then she got booted because he just…did something kinda clever that he would’ve done to anyone else who also posed a threat. It wasn’t a constant power struggle like it was in WT, it was Heather losing because in the AS narrative specifically, Alejandro simply was smarter than her; it felt empty, especially when held up to her victory in WT— which, side note, why is Heather exactly the same personality-wise as she was in the beginning of WT instead of growing since the end of it?? It would’ve been a lot more interesting for Alejandro to see Heather leaning into her heroic side more while still being on the villain team for her past, and maybe struggle with connecting with her because of that, or start picking up those characteristics when interacting with Mal, or become angrier and more distant and villainous in a cry for attention or an attempt to feel in control still despite being more pathetic than ever. And conversely I think Heather seeing who Alejandro’s become after her win/loss (depending on the ending) and feeling guilty or angry, and maybe struggling to relate to the other villains as much while still being hated by the heroes as well, would be really cool to see; it would also maybe add some flair to her rivalry with Jo, who maybe has a similar internal struggle or even has gotten worse since ROTI. There were so many other options that would’ve upped the heroes vs villains/good vs evil motifs and elevated their characters and tied up their storylines for the final season they appeared in, maybe showing the depths of what competitive reality TV has done to them and made them crave. But instead it was just kinda nothing. I feel like the twist would’ve worked better if it was reversed so Heather got Alejandro out while he desperately tried to stay in a game that was hurting him, or if Alejandro got someone like Jo or Lightning out instead— maybe because he sees himself in them and feels guilty or scared, but justifies this to himself because they’re “threats” (even though, to him, they certainly aren’t) because he’s afraid to admit that he’s still soft somewhere deep down— which he uncovers by working with Heather or working against Mal or etc. Idk something like that, maybe I’m talking out of my ass here because I haven’t seen WT or AS in a while but I feel like, while the twist itself was good, having Alejandro get Heather out specifically (especially considering how poorly the writers portrayed Heather that season within the context of her arc in WT) felt cheap and almost cynical.

[robyese3]

K. I'm writing this into the void but I have nobody to talk bridgerton to. I blow the dust off my Tumblr to rant. Season 3. Here we go

PT. 1

Trash. All four episodes could have honestly been condensed to one, maaaaybe two to compensate for all the side plots. It did nothing to redeem Penelope.

It did however make me love Cressida, and further convinced me Eloise is queer. That said - Claudia Jessie so far has had chemistry with every single person (Benedict, Penelope, Cressida, Theo). Maybe it's just her. Philip was cardboard though so... We'll see if she can rescue that.

Why would the wig department do my boy Colin like that? Dirtyyy.

Francesca is GORGEOUS. She does look older than Daphne and Eloise, but I don't even care. Stunning. And John is a button.

Where did Luke and Nicola's chemistry go?!

KANTHONY. Only redeeming factor, and not enough of them.

What happened to Debling? Why wouldn't they just have HIM marry Cressida???? Like...?? It would have been perfect.

I love the Mondrich's story line - why is everyone hating? I do agree that it would have been a great way to reintroduce the Duke into the story though. Kinda mentor them through it. I get Rege-Jean wanted out but like... Recast it?

PT 2

Ahhh there is their chemistry. Found it.

I am HERE for mama Featherignton's redemption arc. Only works because she seems genuinely remorseful.

Incredibly disappointed with the Cressida storyline. Just wrecked a really dynamic story. Ruined Eloise's character growth (which she desperately needs) and just undid the awesome set up from pt 1. Felt so wasteful, unnecessary, and sad.

Most of the sex scenes were hot as hell but there was one (I don't remember which) was kinda awkward getting off the ground. They were like... Talking too much? Haha

Daphne not being there for Colin NOR Francesca's wedding? Yeah right. Get your casting contracts figured out bridgerton! This family can't be this close and just be missing major events. Would never happen. Lock them actors in from day 1.

I felt like Colin's arc from finding out to supporting her was really vulnerable, realistic, and well done. He was hurt and angry, but never stopped loving her. Just needed to process and he defended her tooth and nail despite knowing she didn't want to quit it. Good job kiddo.

Ok does Benedict do ANYTHING else but fvck? So grateful they finally admitted he's queer. And I wish they would have gotten to that part of his development in pt 1 so we could see him navigating it more.

When Colin said he had to talk to Benedict about getting the money, and implying that Benedict has some responsibility in the family with Anthony's absence - that was the biggest character development for him outside of his sexuality.

Philippa has NOT gotten enough screentime during this series. How are we just seeing how delightful she is now?!

Part 2 did such a better job at redeeming Penelope. I drank the Kool aid, back on team Penelope. Wrecked Eloise though. Sorry girl. Be better.

Michaela Sterling. Was kinda digging the "soft" love, and autistic thing that was circling the Internet so I was a little disappointed to see that all it was is that she's actually not attracted to him (knew the second they kissed haha). BUT the actress is stunning and I'm intrigued on how they'll develop Francesca's yearning for children with the queer storyline.

I would have loved for another King George cameo. Or just an update on his health, idk. Anything.

All in all, this show could do with adding another episode or two to it's roster and figuring out their pacing earlier on ESPECIALLY if you're going to be splitting the season. And even more so, if you're going to be juggling 82 different storylines.

If we're slowly shifting back to traditional tv practices (weekly releases episodes, commercials, etc), let the next thing be a full episode count. Done with this single digit amount episode. Order at least 10-12 episodes!

[mazzystar24]

idk who else to go to with this but i have so many people sending me hate because i don’t like bucktommy when i literally never even post about them????? they keep calling me toxic and a hater and i’m not i just have shipped buddie for years and i don’t vibe with tommy…. it makes me sad because this fandom used to bond over buddie so much but now i just see angry tommy fans (and admittedly some buddie fans but nowhere near as many) spreading so much hatred and rudeness while turning around and calling buddie fans toxic when we just want to ship our 6 year long standing ship… and like i said i genuinely never post about bucktommy, and if i do say something about them that can be perceived as negative then i always tag it “anti-bucktommy” and i NEVER tag it bucktommy so that they don’t have to even see it! It hurts to open up the app not knowing if i’m going to have another person calling me homophobic or a fetishizer (i’m literally queer) or calling me a toxic bitch when i literally don’t do anything but post happy buddie content 9/10 posts! and like i said i know i’ve seen some buddie accounts go to extremes and i’m not defending that, but i’ve seen people who will call out even the slightest apprehension to bucktommy as if they stepped on someone’s grave, while simultaneously bullying and harassing buddie shippers for minding their own business… like i can’t even go into the buddie tag and it’s people attacking us left and right while the bucktommy tag is nothing but everyone gushing over them… i hate that we can’t enjoy a 6 year old ship anymore because half the fandom decided to jump to this other one that has barely gotten any screentime between two characters that don’t really have chemistry with each other and they want to berate us for it and call us names. I’m not a fetishizer and I’m not toxic, I’m just a late 20s queer girl who wants to talk about buddie without a barrage of hate and insults thrown at me but I can’t do that anymore… 9-1-1/buddie used to be my safe place but now i can’t even come on tumblr because i’m worried a stan will be lurking in my asks/replies waiting to tell me how awful i am.

i’m sorry to dump all of that on you but i just opened a really nasty ask and it hurt a lot to read what they said about me and you were the first person on my dash

Hey anon!

Okay so I can already guess I’ll be late posting this cos i think I’ll be replying to this in increments throughout my day today, and also I can tell this is really bothering you so I don’t wanna just give like a short rushed answer - oh wow I actually wrote this in one sitting cos I can’t shut up once I start

Yes the fandom has been a downright mess lately and it’s like I always say, people if you wanna engage in discourse that’s your prerogative and no one is faulting you for that but it’s the utter lack of fandom etiquette these toxic fans have that’s the real issue and I also feel like as you said a huge issue is this kind of imaginary high horse they seem to have

Like I totally agree that there is like this section of toxic bucktommy fans who try to warp not liking bucktommy into being biphobic- which look if people are actually being biphobic by all means call them out but when you’re going to actual queer people who posted 166283894 posts celebrating bi buck, only to attack them for not liking the ship?? Then that’s just plain stupid I’m sorry, like being happy to have the queer rep and not liking bucktommy isn’t mutually exclusive and it’s ridiculous people are trying to make it out to be

Like I’ve personally been sent an ask like that where they implied that I was biphobic for not being a big fan of bucktommy and that “I don’t know how exhausting it is for bi people” - which I gotta say made me go what about my blog would ever make someone think ah yes straight 🤩

And thing is at the time they sent that my most note filled post was my celebration reaction meme extravaganza to getting bi buck which I feel added some fun irony to the whole thing

And calling people shipping two MEN (buddie) homophobic takes a special kind of cognitive dissonance that I gotta say I’d almost be impressed with the leaps in logic if it wasn’t so annoying

Now I personally don’t know what state the bucktommy tag is in cos I mostly stick to the 911 abc and the buddie tag but I know how the buddie tag has been and I agree the misuse of tags to make a negative space is absolutely ridiculous and again that all goes back to the etiquette part

And the fetishising thing is also just another thing that absolutely grates my nerves, because these toxic fans really need a dictionary thrown at their heads because buddie is like the polar opposite of that.

First of all a large section of buddie shippers im aware have asexual Eddie headcanons and that aside let’s say we want gay Eddie and buddie and all those things, let’s even say we want them to fuck nasty *gasp🫢* and sloppy and write 156273 smut fics where they plain fuck like rabbits (*nun faints in the background* also probably some pearl clutching occurred upon reading this),

THAT’S NOT THE POINT HERE- the point is the main appeal of buddie as a ship isn’t that ooo look two hot guys kissing; it’s the history it’s the friendship, it’s the vulnerability, it’s the will scene, the shooting, the trust, the parallels, the understanding of each other, it’s the domesticity and it’s all these moments that have nothing to do with sex or objectifying their dynamic or mlm relationships but rather shipping them because they are two people with this amazing connection and these experiences

and THAT? That’s the furthest thing from fetishisation

Now I could be controversial and talk about how SOME and some is the operative word of this sentence- SOME toxic bucktommy fans have been blatant in not really caring about the story or the characters or buck and Tommy as individuals or the team dynamic or anything other than seeing these two men kiss, these being a lot of the same fans who refuse to watch the show other than the bucktommy and Tommy scenes and then will act like they somehow understand the show more than fans who’ve been here years or seen the whole show BUT I digress because I know that saying this is me basically asking for spam hate (so shhhh let’s pretend I didn’t say that 🤫)

who said that? 👀not me👀damn that’s crazy a ghost just ran across my keyboard 🙄

Anyways back to you specifically, because I really do think it bares mentioning, if you’ve been respectful to others then that’s all you can do and thank you on the behalf of everyone cos it really makes a difference, and I wanna say sorry on the behalf of every asshole who’s deciding to attack you for ridiculous reasons, the best advice I can give you is to genuinely not let it get to you I know it’s easier said than done but you know who you are and you know your intentions and some dumbass sitting behind a screen who can’t even properly comprehend what biphobia or fetishisation actually is (or worse DOES know what it is but is just using it as a way to put others down over a tv show to have an imaginary high ground) isn’t worth your time or your distress and they cannot change who you are

This part might be over explaining the obvious but in case you don’t know/ are new to tumblr or whatever: If you wanna continue to have fandom spaces as a safe place filtering should get rid of a lot of the posts and so should blocking but ofc you’ll see a few so just skip past and enjoy the content you like, if you wanna make posts and are scared of asks from toxic shippers maybe you can turn off your asks temporarily until you feel like you’re in a better place mentally to deal with it

Oooo or an idea that might work is you can ask your followers and mutuals (who are the ones most likely to be sending the nice asks) to use an emoji at the start of their asks to indicate to you that this is an ask you’ll like then you can delete any ask without that emoji without even having to look at the hate if it’s causing you that anxiety - if that makes sense?

I hope my reply somehow made you feel better and I really hope that you can have your fandom space and enjoyment back 🫶🫶🫶🫶

[raelle-writing]

DFF is such great show and I enjoy the portrayal of the characters and the plot. Although I am not much into JinPhee ship (even though their scene was hot) - meaning I won't actively search fics of them;-D. But I absolutely don't understand the hate this ship gets. Or Jin character gets? Like, did I miss something? Why there is so much hate towards this pairing? I don't get it. Or do they dislike Jin character so much?

So I think there are 3 main reasons that people hate PheeJin and specifically Jin as much as they do, and I'll see if I can explain it coherently below lmao

First is cultural differences.

I've noticed that by and large a lot of the hatred directed at Jin comes from international fans being extremely harsh, and I think it's partially because they don't understand some of the nuance of Thai culture. Which to be fair, why would they?

One aspect is that they get angry that Jin lied to the police without taking into account that the police are corrupt - both in the narrative and also in Thailand in general.

Another is they get mad at Jin for recording Non - which to be fair, really does suck lmao. But they make it about Jin recording Non instead of reporting the assault happening, without taking into consideration that the age of consent in Thailand is 15, which means that what happened with Non and Keng isn't technically statuatory rape. Still bad and awful and Non was coerced and assaulted, don't get me wrong - but that makes it slightly less clear cut IMO when it comes to the question of Jin seeing Non "cheating."

You can even see within the show that the reactions to that video are by and large slut-shaming and not "omg that kid was assaulted."

So to recap: Taking the video = bad. But I think people get a bit too self-righteous about the reasons why Jin took it.

Second is purity/cancel culture.

I'm sure it hasn't escaped your notice that in the internet age, if you make one mistake you're a terrible, irredeemable person and should be canceled forever. I think that's playing a part in this. All of the characters make mistakes, and because of that they're all irredeemable pieces of shit who deserve to die. Except for Non who is just a victim and has never done anything wrong (sarcasm).

In seriousness, I think that's part of it. And the fact that Non is SO sympathetic it kind of overrides people's sympathies for the other characters. I'm not 100% sure why people hate Jin the most out of everyone else considering he's the one who has tried to help Non the most out of the friend group... I guess they just have higher standards for people who try to help? Idk. Either way it seems to me that they expect Jin to be a perfectly-well-adjusted little hero who always does what's right and never makes mistakes. Instead of what he really is: a kid.

And last is fan favorites/shipping.

A big part of the reason that PheeJin shippers are getting so much hate is because TaCode shippers and PheeNon shippers have decided their ship is The Ship of the series, and think that Phee is just using Jin for revenge and anyone who genuinely ships PJ is fucked up, etc.

It's just ship war bullshit waged by largely Barcode stans, but it's certainly tiresome.

To be clear, I have nothing against PheeNon. I am of the opinion that Phee and Non were a cute high school romance that wouldn't have lasted because they had conflicting styles of showing affection and love (I'll write a post about it someday lol) but that doesn't mean I hate the ship. I thought they were very cute and it was fun to see TaCode on screen since I wrote MacauChay in my KPTS days ahahaha I just like the spice and fire of PheeJin better, and Jin is my favorite character.

I just wish that PheeNon shippers would live and let live instead of acting like they're waging some moral war. They were even crying in BOC's comment section on IG today after they posted the PheeJin poster for episode 9 saying "nooooo Phee is there for revenge he can't really have feelings for Jin!" It's exhausting... 🫠

General disclaimer: if you don't like Jin or like PheeNon better I'm not saying any of the above things applies to you. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, I'm just dissecting some of the over-the-top hate I've seen/experienced in fandom spaces lately.

[thebottomfromhell]

Heyyy!!! i dont know if ur gonna see this but I was wonder if you could write headcanons or like anything really with a male reader who is the disgust clone and is not subtle with how disgusted by EVERYTHING he is but then again hes like gorgous but untouchable cuz hell hurl insults at you for looking at him could you do that the other hantengu clones idk if thats selfcest or nah if u dont want to thats cool!!! I hope you have a good day and I love ur writing<333

Hey anon! Thank you for the concern, I'm glad you like my works, it makes me happy when people show their enjoyment with them.

And yes... it would be self-cest. Any ship with any Hantengu clone x Hantengu clone is self-cest. I could start on with how the theme of multiverse has normalized this types of relationships but nobody wanta to go into that rabbit hole.

I was conflicted when I first recieved this, but then again, I never said anything about self-cest so it's on me(tbh I never thought I would need to). I will make it platonic and leave some hints with Karaku [this work will be mostly focused on the inability to scape their respective emotion], but I won't be giving the idea a positive light nor will I romantize it (same thing I mostly do with non-con, I write it but I don't think it's ok and somehow it shows). Hope it comes acceptable.

Disgust Hantengu clone! Reader (Male Demon) dynamic with Clones

Warnings: Cannibalism, Hints of implied self-cest, Implied hint of sextal content, Use of excesive violence, Sekido deadnames reader, Slight angst and non-erotic "slut-shaming".

Your name is supposed to be Ken'o, you know that, it's what you are, what you were created to exclusively feel. Disgust, dislike, antipathy... Ken'o... It's only fitting that you felt disgust of your own name. You hate it, you already hated it the second you heard it in your head and felt it in your heart the second another's demon head was becoming your own body, feeling the gross sensation of flesh stretching, the ticklish bone growth and the scent of blood and organs that were being produced on that same second. Disgusting, it's all togustings, since just after that you have to meet the dirty ground and slayers, usually ending with your perfectly tidy and clean robes stained with whatever dust, earth or blood you will be facing. It doesn't help to see the others. "Would you stop FUCKING complaining about EVERY SINGLE DETAIL for ONE SECOND?! I swear Ken'o, you are making me so angry I will blow up your pathetic ass!"

That is that again, you have repeated several times that you wanted to go for another name, Y/N. Everyone but Sekido seemed to respect that, but he only got irritated with you, but you just had to complain. Everything is so awful, and nobody tells him anything when he lashes out. That asshole thinks he is the only one having a bad time? You bet his problems are nothing compared to yours "Shut up, Sekido! Your voice is making me have a headache!" He makes an ugly face once you answer back, why is everyone else so coward? Only Aizetsu has the guts every once an eternity to tell the truths to this asshole's face. And even the, when he does he also seems keen in the idea of fighting you. That little-

"Hey! Hey! Calm down, everyone. We just defested some slayers, why don't we take a bite before Urogi beats us to it?" Karaku interrupts, always trying to make averything sound as if was pleasurable, as if it was something good. You genuinely want to throw up the secon you see the corpses on the ground with Urogi kneeling in front of one, munching so much of it that his cheeks as full and not even swollowing all of it before putting more into the cavity, showing the chewed flesh inside his mouth. "Urg. As if I would want to eat with such an animal." Aizetsu seems to only look at everyone else, gaze making you uncomfortable. "And what do you want." To that Aizetsu just looks away and goes where Urogi is, not even bothering to answer you. How rude! Sekido smiles as he sees the offense in your face.

You feel an arm around your shoulder, you see Karaku smiling, the smell and heat coming from his mouth not being pleasant, even if it's not the worst you have felt against you face. "Now, if you are not hungry, Y/N, we can always find something to have fun, ya know? If you can't see anything good, I can always teach you how to have a good ti-" You don't know what repulses you more, the indecent proposal or the stains of blood in your shouldet once Sekido stabs the pleasure clones in the mouth through the back of his head with his staff. "Stop whoring yourself! Have you no shame?!" A part of you wants to defend Karaku, another one sums just wanting to spite Sekido, but other part of you agrees with the anger clone of how disgusting the behavior of the pleasure clone is, seeking his respective sensation like an addict.

And there is the smaller part of you not only likes the attention, making you feel less disgusting with yourself, it also happens when slayers see you. Your emotion doesn't let you tell, but Aizetsu and Karaku have reassured you that you are good looking. But you could never give into such a nauseating touch, with dirty and uncomfortable hands, it's awful.

None of you can fight your respective emotions, even if sometimes you can feel other things. You yearn to be with the others, to be able to spend a good time (not in the way Karaku sometimes offers, but to actually spent good moments), you yearn to be satisfied and content, instead of having to rely in pride for some positiveness. You can't help to resent Urogi and Aizetsu the most, who manage to work through their emotions, the first one just uncaring as long as he is not hurt or caged, the second one managing to stay calm and be understanding. Both of them get along well, and you can see them talking and eating together. You want to complain, to take the off-putting sensations out of your head and chest, but there are never gone. The second everything seems fine, you find another thing that disgust you and center everything on it. (You have not stopped thinking that Sekido feels that same way in his anger.)

"Let's just go back, we don't need to be here and stay divided any longer. We are clearly just wasting time in here. I don't want to see any of you!" Urogi is the first to protest. "Huh? C'moooooon, Sekido, just one more hour! Pleeeeeease?" "You are not going to be able to convince him like that." Part of you wants to also protest, you don't want to be grouped with this freaks! And you just came out! What would be the point? "C'mon, Y/N, handsome. Help me convice Sekido to relax. There is no need to rush back." Part of you wants to explore, to get away, to move away... but another one knows that inside Hantengu's head you won't have to deal with all this disgust. "Go fuck yourself, Karaku."

[cbsxreader]

IDK IF MY ASK IS SENT SO IM SORRY IF YOU SEE THIS THE 2md (I ask for like ex blu merc s/o or smthn-) So like, imagine if Christian had an S/o that was like an Ex BLU Mercenary (had nothing to do with what happened to him, or prolly saw it and like can't do anything to stop it) I like ang- I mean..., silly idea

Christian with an S/o who is an Ex-BLU mercenary Pt.2 (Pt.1)

"I knew it all along...you're just like your teammates..." Brutal says in a low voice, staring with his wild eyes at his S/o.

His S/o tries to plead back once they hear his voice, understanding that it really is him. They feel his large hand around their neck and they stare back at him with wide eyes.

"Mick? Is...that you?" They want to understand why their lover is this way and what happened to him, despite them being threatened by him.

The mention of his old name makes him growl. Brutal doesn't respond verbally, he's blinded by his hate for the rest of their team and instead gives them a rough punch to the gut. Anger now fuels him and it's apparent in his eyes.

"Who else could it fucking be!?" He snaps back at them with a roar, showing he's nothing like the man they knew before.

His S/o puts a hand where he hit them, clearly in pain, both from the actual physical hit but also the fact that he seemingly didn't think twice about hitting his beloved. He pushes them more into the wall with his body and his hand moves up to their jaw, squeezing it painfully and making his S/o panic.

"Why are you doing this to me??" His S/o cries out desperately, still in pain.

Instead of getting a normal answer, they get an angry glare before their skull is pulled back and smashed into the wall. The force isn't light and it makes them yelp in pain. They don't even have time to recover before they get a real dose of the man they thought they were in love with.

"BECAUSE YOU LEFT ME FOR DEAD!!" Brutal practically screams at them, still keeping them trapped.

Something changes in his S/o's eyes. The look of realization. The realization that he's angry and confused, just like they were. Their heart beats with love instead of panic. Their lover might be a complete psycho now, but it's still their duty to help him understand the situation.

"But...I didn't-" They try to sound sincere, only to earn another sudden punch to their body. Now he's boiling over the rim, breathing angrily through his clenched teeth. His S/o winces at the pain again, trying not to say anything as to not piss their lover off more.

"WELL? GOT NOTHING TO SAY BECAUSE I'M SAYIN' THE TRUTH??'' He yells again with wide, insane eyes.

And in that moment, remembering that night, their partner being angry at them and causing pain, makes them burst into tears.

His gaze softens as he listens to their sniffles and sobs. His heart flutters from love mixed with confusion. His love that he had buried deep down can't keep him mad at his S/o, especially not when they're breaking down in front of him. Not a single person would cry if they had genuinely meant to really fuck someone up like the BLU team did to him.

Through their tears, they explain how they wanted to stop their team, but it would have raised suspicions. And despite their best efforts to convince their colleagues, they just got told off saying he'd just respawn. They told him how they've lost sleep because of what happened. It wasn't like they didn't care, they just couldn't do anything to stop it.

His eyes wander around his lover's face, his iron grip on them slowly loosening. If they had defended him, it meant trouble for the both of them either way. And how could he really blame them if coming back to life without a scratch was a possibility and they thought he'd just respawn?

He's snaps out of his thoughts by his lover calling out to him by his old name. He looks at them for a moment before slipping into his thoughts again. He just hurt them...for no reason...before they even tried explaining their side of the story...What is it going to be like between the two of them after this? Of course he still loves them but...how can he be completely sure they won't try to finish him off? Or that he won't get angry and kill them? Wouldn't it be easier if...they split ways?

With that thought, Brutal just starts walking away, ignoring his lover's confusion. In his mind, it's better to not think about it too much and start acting. As they piece together what's happening, they beg him to not go, which doesn't help. Just as he's about to turn a corner, with all their emotion they can muster before their voice cracks, they pour their heart out one last time, making him stop in his tracks.

For a moment, he hesitates, trying to convince himself he doesn't need his S/o. But he turns around, only to see his lover desperate for him to stay. His soft expression made them a bit more hopeful, a glimmer in their eyes that wasn't hard to miss.

"Darn it all..." Brutal mutters before catching his S/o and trapping them in a kiss, giving in to the love of his life. It's gentle, yet passionate, his heart is full of love for the first time since he's been tortured. He feels his S/o's tears on his hand as he caresses their cheek. And, for the first time as CBS, and the last time ever (at least he hopes so), he sheds a tear as well.

[instructionsnotincluded]

urgh i’m sure you’re sick of hearing about it but i have no friends who watch obx and idk where else to channel my feelings 😭 I AM SO UPSET. I genuinely can’t believe they’ve done this, i was lulled into a false sense of security by the announcement for season 5 because i thought surely Rudy would hang on for one final season. I was so convinced rafe would die after his goodbye to sophia that i was distracted from the real danger (sidebar i hated that they build up that relationship just to end it in one sentence over a phone call, i really had hope after rafe telling her it was okay).

I wish they’d brought it to a close this season so badly and just given them a happy ending. The worst part is i was genuinely enjoying part 2 for the most part even with the crazy plot lines. I was hopeful we’d get some real resolution following JJs crash out with him facing up to his issues and talking it out, particularly with Kiara.

The lack of Jiara was genuinely so jarring and obvious i assumed it was intentional and would come to some sort of head wherein JJ would acknowledge how distant he had been and there would be some kind of emotional breakthrough/makeup for the couple but NO. like they really gave us nothing like the handshake when they parted ways had me screaming WHAT WAS THAT.

the death was so so badly done like obviously we would never be happy with JJs death but there were so many better ways around it, having him actively die protecting the pogues not just randomly being stabbed while standing around, having him actually get to say goodbye to them?! POPE NEVER GETTING TO SAY I LOVE YOU BACK?? and like why was he buried in the sand in fucking morocco that literally broke my heart like alone and to be forgotten and never visited in the fucking desert?? Im so angry i’ve been so excited for this season for the longest time and had so much hope based off part 1, i really felt like they’d been listening to the fans and giving us what we wanted in terms of season 1 vibes and i was so hyped to rewatch it all once i finished yesterday, but now the entire thing feels so tainted??

he suffered so much for absolutely nothing and no reason whatsoever. i feel i can’t even rewatch the parts of pt2 that i enjoyed again because they’re so tainted by the jarring energy between rudy and maddison now that i know it’s not part of the plot. it’s so glaringly obvious that none of this was planned, even if there’s some truth in them initially wanting JJ killed off there’s no way they would’ve followed through with it after seeing how much of a fan favourite he became. like they really gave bro an entire arc of suffering with no resolution other than him saving sarah then just killed him??

i feel so upset today idek what to do with myself, i can no longer enjoy any of my jj content without feeling so heartbroken. at least if they’d just had him leave or given him some form of resolution before his death the whole series wouldn’t feel so tainted… sorry for this insanely long ramble i just needed to offload this somewhere. thank god for people like you working harder than these god damn writers to produce actual good plots 😭💗

Never be sorry! We're all upset! I haven't seen any post or response defending the season, like I do really think everyone hated the ending and hated the way it went down. I've seen a lot about just wishing it had gone down different, not that he didn't die, but that it was for an actual reason. Which is a complaint I have about a lot of actual books. I'm not upset someone died, I'm just upset that it always feels pointless and makes the story feel like it should never have happened.

I was also lulled into the false sense of security with season five. I thought for sure it was because Rudy wanted to leave and they decided to give it a proper ending and not doing anything drastic with his character. Oh how I was wrong. My hope is that Rafe and Sofia are able to work through things in season five, and that they can get to a better place, because I do think they really love each other, and I do think they still do. But I guess we'll see if they force Kiara and Rafe together or not...

You can very much tell that there is a lot of tension between JJ and Kiara because there's a lot of tension between the actors. It was not hidden well at all, they barely interact with one another and if you haven't watched Season three or the first part of season four, you would never know they were supposed to be in love. If anything, it looked like they hated each other.

JJ's entire death scene and the scenes following were just piss poor. Everything about it was bad, and I think it's because everyone knew that this was going to be bad. Everyone knew this would end the show. They're literally watching and filming the end of this series and these stories and they couldn't do anything to make it better. I think it feels and looks so bad, because they felt the same way we do about it.

I'm upset too, it's been a trash week and it feels like the one thing we were looking forward to made it so much worse. It's ok to be upset, and it's ok to not want to see or read anything to do with the Pogues right now. Totally understandable. I felt the same way right after, like do I want to take a break from Audrey and JJ for a while? But I decided that JJ's still alive as long as we write him, as long as we love him, and I think we all deserve that.

[lottieurl]

tagged by @mistyquigly and @lesbianlotties

rules: share some unpopular opinions about 5 different fandoms of your choosing

tagging @lesbianalicent @itsheliotrope @marlokelly @sameensass @ethanilsa @narraboths

okay Please do not read it if you might get angry or upset ok? pinky promise me rn

yellowjackets

everyone who follows me is pretty familiar with all my unpopular opinions i think? jeff is a shitty person AND a bad character, laura lee could have a fascinating corruption arc linking her faith to their cannibalistic rituals, i think lottielee is insanely toxic because they both enable each other in the worst ways even tho they genuinely do care about each other and have the best of intentions (which seems unpopular because lottielee is seen as this pure sweet little ship? which it is Not to me), jackie could Eat People you just lack imagination, mistytai is fun and compelling, shauna's pregnancy/motherhood s2 storyline was disappointing and retconning of her character. can't think of much else? um one thing i don't think i ever talked about outside of dms - although it's more of a fandom pet peeve than a show one but still - is that i Hate when people make all their munchausen by proxy jokes about misty. firstly because i have an intense aversion to that entire label like it's wild to me that there is a "disorder" that in order to have you have to abuse another person? be so fucking real with me right now. it's just an excuse used in courts to defend abusive parents and other legal guardians really. and secondly because that doesn't even fit misty. and it never did! like i KNOW people base those jokes on misty's behavior around ben in those like four episodes but we have a modern timeline in that very same season where misty snorts goddamn coke to stop nat from relapsing. like it just irritates me because it's such a boring take and such an unfunny joke and well the entire disorder is something i take issue with

person of interest

regardless of what you think about the plot of s5 due to the season being much shorter the pacing is really bad and it's so rushed none of it feels satisfying and earned and that goes for everything so whether i liked some specific direction they took a character or a plot or i hated it doesn't even matter. and this is i think not quite that unpopular but giving the machine root's voice was a terrible choice especially in a show that is so well known for making an AI character that has no distinctly human features. i think it's lazy and cheap

lucifer

mazikeen/eve is so bad SORRY i hated it so much it was so rushed and there was no built up. realistically if maze ended up with a woman it would be linda and their relationship was far more interesting and developed across seasons

the last of us

don't doxx me but i didn't like the gay old men episode it didn't make me feel much and i think it contributed to the show's overall bad pacing. i am a casual viewer and i have no idea what the fandom at large thinks but i didn't like it. i'd say more but i don't care enough to do that really it just did nothing for me much

a league of their own

i'm soooorry to the enjoyers but carson/greta does nothing for me and in general i wish the focus was more on a character like lupe or jess or jo instead. it's like okay i think although i wish there was MORE of max screentime she got a good amount but i did not care for the carson/greta romance. plus like. yeah yeah feminine white lesbian romance at the forefront idk i'm yawning there is literally lupe there. can we focus on lupe

[mieczyhale]

note: i spent quite a bit of time rambling, and it truly is rambling, so i have not gone back and re-read any of this.

-

you can hate someone all you want and say whatever you want about them, but to attack their appearance and a speech impediment is gross. idc who the fucker is. his appearance has nothing to do with his behavior and making fun of the way someone talks?? really?? not only does that also have nothing to do with his behavior, but a lot of people have speech impediments and he's not gonna see your ~jokes~ but they will

go after him for shit that's relevant. go after his actions

anyway

dude needs a psych eval, therapy, and anger management at the very least imo. he's never really hidden that he isn't mentally thriving, but there is a lot more going on up there than depression.

-

as someone who can react aggressively, even violently, when frustrated enough or angry enough - and has said some awful shit in the moment that felt out of my control (there is no brain to mouth contact in that moment) - i know there is shit that can be done to help that. medications, therapy, learning redirection, knowing when to exit a situation before you hit that point, and other shit.

i've been struggling with this again lately as my mental health is shit, but it's still better than it used to be years ago, and i'm aware of it and what a problem it is. bc real talk: i did not think it was an issue. it was like "yeah i'm yelling and screaming and throwing things and breaking shit (not all at once, thank god) but so what?? that's just how i am". you can truly be so unaware of yourself and your own shit it's ridiculous

not saying he's got the same shit in his head but from personal experience i wouldn't rule it out entirely. there are a lot of mental illnesses out there and things that can get messed up in you. nothing excuses his behavior, but there could be an explanation.

once again: explaining =/= excusing

and if there is something genuinely fucked up (well..) then he can get help. people don't like to think about or consider it for some reason, but even people who do abhorrent things can get better and change (if they want to) not that that would make up for anything but it would keep a repeat from happening with someone else. and idk i believe there is good in almost everyone. he fucked up a helluva lot but i don't think he's this unsalvagable evil demon. he's a human being

okay yeah editing one thing in and that is that there could be something mentally at play, or medically, or he could just be an asshole that needs to learn and do better (i'm not ruling it out entirely) or it could be a combination deal. idk. i'm just not a big fan of calling someone a piece of shit with the tone that that IS who they are. the end. that they've always been a piece of shit and they always will be and there is no hope for them.

and maybe that's one of the reasons i'm being so unwell about this. because, top 10 anime betrayals aside, i've seen bits of myself in his videos prior to all of this blowing up - the good and the bad. i've seen a bit of the worst part of me in the clips of his aggression and threats. but despite what i feel and say when i've gotten like that in the past i never meant it outside of that moment. you calm down and you genuinely hate yourself because what the fuck was that shit and you feel embarrassed (and for me getting embarrassed usually manifests as anger) and it's just shit

i dont tend to develop parasocial attachments but in the span of like.. a month maybe here we fucking are i guess. it's not great, i'm not thrilled by it - especially now - but it really got me out of nowhere and bc i have attachment issues (there are many reasons i'm in therapy thanks) that's.. probably also part of the unwellness i've been feeling (i keep calling it "unwell" bc truly i do not have the words to describe it beyond that)

there are people who say they "got a vibe" or "never liked him" or whatever but could not be less me. he quickly became a comfort channel and there was nothing that tipped me off that anything was wrong. his channels spark(ed) joy (serious videos aside, but even then there was comfort in seeing someone get so passionate about things that mattered)

i enjoy him and his content, both solo and joint, and - saying this bc i've seen more than one comment on it - i like listening to him speak and i like watching him speak. his lisp is cute and he has a nice voice. his humor is great, the fashion and vibes were immaculate before whatever the fuck happened that ended up in him removing color from everything he owns. and growing that mustache situation

he's someone who is seriously not well, he did and said godawful trash shit, and he should face consequences. none of this post is me saying he should be forgiven with zero punishment. people shouldn't push it aside just because they're fans

this was not a victimless situation, nor was it a first time, from what some people have said

you can be a fan and admit when the person you're a fan of fucked up / did something awful. being a fan does not mean excusing their every word and action. a*ex is a person. a human being. not a demon but also not a god. and he should be treated as such. stop putting strangers on pedestals. i might be incredibly unwell about things but at least i never thought he was perfect or whatever. anyone can let you down at any time, be it content creators or actors or whatever, so please be careful and be at least a little sane about them)

i'm sure i have more to say about this but my brain really said "we've done enough with serious words for now" and i can't remember where i was going with this - if anywhere. maybe this was just supposed to be a rambling vent - which, if so, mission accomplished. i know it was triggered by people attacking a*ex for the wrong things, bc going after shit like a speech impediment is so low and so not relevant to the situation, and then i just got my feelings and thoughts everywhere. eugh.

i've watched a couple videos on the evidence (sound off w/ captions bc reading vile things is easier than hearing them) (i do the same thing with my voicemails tbh. i never listen to them, i read them. not bc they're vile but bc i just get less anxious if i don't have to hear it. idk) and while each covered the biggest things (so far anyway) i certainly am not going to claim to know it all. but there have been video clips, audio clips, screenshots across them all - each video having some of the same pieces but also pieces the others don't show or touch on. so.. i've seen.. enough.

i really need to disengage from all of this, and i sure would like to, i'd love to not be aware of this level of "drama" regarding someone i'm a fan of as it's breaking, but i can't go back in time and stop myself from clicking on his channel and i can't undo liking his videos so here i fucking am

-

"he's cancelled!" bitch shut the fuck up. canceling isn't a real thing. look at anyone with a fanbase who has done bad shit. they still have a fanbase, they still do whatever.

"his career is over!" maybe, maybe not, i for one can't see the future but i wouldn't place bets that it is. because again: look at what people have been accused of, and have done, and even if they suffered real consequences for their actions they came back from it.

maybe focus on what genuine consequences there could be

OR - better yet - focus on showing support for the victim. yeah actually maybe lets do that. maybe care about a victim more than you hate their abuser. just tossing that thought out there as an option

-

i keep thinking i've reached the end of what i have to say and then some part of me, the apparently country part that stormed out the saloon doors, comes slamming back through a moment later - cowboy hat waving wildly - with a yell of "AND ANOTHER THING-"

-

on top of everything else - and i know this is going to sound so shitty and so immature - i do not like being told what to do. to like.. a really aggressive degree. it's one of the traits i got from my mom. if you tell me to stop watching something or stop listening to something, to do or not do something, you have almost guaranteed that i am going to do the exact opposite.

and tbh... if we cut off content from anyone who ever did bad things there would be like.. no content left. which might sound fine to you, you weird purity culture angel fucks, but i personally like to find relaxation and joy where i can get it. i personally like to enjoy life when i can. mostly because it isn't an easy thing for me to do, so if some band's music is a vibe or some guy posts random videos that make me smile or laugh then brother i am in. not necessarily on a personal level but then maybe yeah on a personal level. i don't know. i'm just saying words at this point. not that i don't mean them, but they're a bit of a mess.

i've been awake for over four hours

it is 7:52 AM

i don't know why i'm still trying to get my thoughts and feelings out.

maybe because i want those things to get across as clearly as they can. i don't want there to be a misunderstanding if it can be avoided. i want it to be understood (as much as it can be) why i think the way i do about all this and what i don't think about it all (like no, i don't think a*ex is innocent. do i think we have the full story?? i don't know. probably not. even with evidence we've only heard half directly, but he certainly did more than enough wrong and there should be consequences. real ones.)

all this and i still don't feel like i've gotten out everything i wanted to properly, which is whatever. i can make another rambling vent post later if i have to. i just hoped unloading all of this would make me feel a bit better, maybe a little less anxiety-induced nauseous, idk. it kind of worked i guess

-

wildly oversimplified and comically surface-level tldr: i'm not an empath but i can be intensely empathetic, as well as intensely sympathetic, to my own detriment and my brother in christ has all of this really driven that home

wildly oversimplified and comically surface-level tldr 2.0: person who is multiple mental illnesses in a trenchcoat and feels Too Much affected by situation Too Much at least partially due to mental illnesses

[gayspock]

ok 1 menty b for me

i dont know. i think its just always been so alienating. i think theres something wrong with me and its unfixable. and sometimes, if i cant have anything else, i just want at least the fucking chance to express that without people thinking even less of me. and ik in reality nobody even gaf or sees me. but i also know know that if they did, 9times out fo 10 people would be rolling their eyes. whatever. idk. i feel so lonely and i dont think im ever not going to be lonely and its never going to get better because even when given the resources, the opportunities i just can never manage . i just cant . i swear i try . but every single time. my whole fucking life . i just walk away from everything with even less, it feels like. and its getting so much harderand harder. and i dont know how to express it liek ... i fucking feel myself SEETHE as ppl keep insisting "theres still a chance! there's still hope!" like sure bro. but i dont want to fucking keep living my life along the fucking asymptote of getting consistently closer to dying alone but "haha technically its not a certainty" and . like theres just something so fucking repulsive about me and i just cant seem to fix it no matter what. and im so exhausted all the time. and i genuinely dont think theres any way out of that . i go to work and i come home so burnt out and tired. and people are nice there but i dont think i can really connect with anyone . i just cant seem to get close to people . and i dont have it within me to meet anyone else because im so fucking tired all of the time .

and even if i did and i mustered all the energy and spent all the little time i had left in the world i dont think theyd have time for me. not just bc nobody in their 20s does but also because i dont know . it just never seems to work . and i cant do it again where i try to invest every little piece of me into it when its jsut always left me fucking miserable and pathetic. bro do you know what i mean. not to be 16 and lame as shit still. i feel like im always the idiot ppl take pity on at best . i dont think ive ever been real to anybody. like alwaysssssss...... and even now i feel like every time I HAVE existed within circles of others. its literally 10 times out of 10 just constantly fighting to be included and seen as someone whos not a fucking joke and i just feel like such a fucking . loser for caring so much about it when. REALISTICALLY. pretty much all the people ive met in life will have forgotten i exist. and ok. ok. i just dont think ... like its not like some trait within me right like ... im not As melodramatic to be like oh . oh theres an actual innate trait within me thats activated and stops people liking me. just. the contrary like. i just think theres nothing within me to actually like . or to gravitate towards. so likeyeah sure . that makes sense. why WOULD you want to bother with someone whos just kinda hollow or whatever.. something something or other. and i kind of wish i was more resilient about tht. but i jsut . i guess as is a Guy of that Nature, its just ... im trying to fucking not fucking spiral but i just feel myself fucking filling up with fucking . miserable SHITTY bile or whatever because i just wish i felt normal or whatever. its such a fucking human fucking thing that other people can MANAGE. but i cant . its so so fucking hard and i cant do it and i cant handle it. and i just feel so angry sometimes anyways . bc i hate it . and i keep trying bc i wanna make peace with it because i know theres no out . like ive long since given up on ever thinking its going to work out . because nothing fucking helps but makes it so much worse . anyways. i dont know. but i dont know bro. it drives me fucking insane when people always spout some bs about how "haha everyone has someone! everyone will find someone! like no they dont no they wont . its so .. so much more isolating. or like "EVERYONEEE feels lonely sometimes" like HOW does that help. HOW. and it makes it so MUCH FUCKING WORSEEEE when people tell you about how lonely they are too!!! like cool . i dont have a chance then. sorry i know thats such a bitter bitch thing to say. but idk if it rlly matters like ... at the end of the day idc when ppl have partners. or people they talk to. family who loves them. and youre still lonely. cool. thank you for letting me know, dude. go back to the people who will look out for you and love you whilst i sit in the dark and not speak to anyone for weeks whilst not a single person would even notice im gone .

or like. bro. i dont think a single person has taken me seriously for long enough to ever fucking like me or hold me in enough regard to like... want to talk to me again nevermind like be with me in a certain sense so i jsut. i dont know. sits alone. every fucking day for years maybe. i dont know. i feel so fucking sad and angry knowing deep down that i can know all this and know its true but even then . i cant even have that . people wont even take THAT part of me seriouslyand think im just some fucking idiot whos not even trying. when i really reallyhave but its just so... worthless it feels like . it feels like im never getting anywhere and everyone thinks i just gave up when i didnt. and i dont know. thar makes it sound like people actually see me and really are laughing or something when i dont think its nearly that much. i think its like oh people see me make that as a snap judgement and i fall out of existence again. and i dont know. it shouldnt matter but i feel so fucking strung out and exist between these instances only and idk. idk bro. im trying to be okay with it. but as im getting older i just feel like theres so many more things that are revealing themselves as worse and worse. and im going crazy. im going crazzzzzzyyyy . whatever . insert the mental breakdown gifs . the funny ones where those guys aremoving really fast

[roseworth]

What don’t people like about Tom Taylor’s Nightwing run? (Genuinely asking.) I haven’t read any other Nightwing runs in full but I have read some old one-shots like Old Friends, New Enemies (alright) and The New Order (absolute garbage), as well as the entirety of New Teen Titans and the 2003 Titans run. I’m not that emotionally invested in Taylor’s run. Every time I see Babs as Batgirl I get so angry my vision blurs but besides that I just kinda read it every month like “that was kinda fun” and then I forget about it. Do people dislike it because of how frivolous it is or is it too two-dimensional a representation of his character or…? I’m just confused because I love being a hater but I see him bullied a lot more than other authors who deserve it more (like Scott Lobdell, who we should guillotine) and idk why (besides the obvious ableism problem with Babs, but that’s a company wide issue). I hope this ask isn’t annoying or unintentionally rude or anything. I’m genuinely just curious. I mean, hey, if we’re all lining up to attack Tom Taylor with hammers, I’ll get in line but I gotta know why, y’know?

idk why everyone else doesnt like him so i cant speak for anyone but myself (i also havent read any other full nightwing runs so maybe my opinion doesnt count hfsadkjhfsaj)

but personally my biggest problem with it is babs being batgirl :/ even batgirls is making half an attempt to put her in the wheelchair sometimes, but this run feels like its going out of its way to make babs be batgirl

other than that there arent like. Major Problems its just bad lmao, the writing feels so forced all the time and its like hes structuring the whole story around moments that he wants (like dick hugging bruce and calling him dad) but then all the moments seem unearned because he barely built up to it and it feels out of place. also theres like,,, no actual plot. he keeps pretending that theres actually a story but then nothing happens every issue

not to mention the way he writes dick is so. ugh. its like dick cant do anything with help which is really annoying bc hes getting knocked on his ass by random villains every month and then its like "oh but he has so many friends and the titans are here to help him <3!!!!" and then that happens 50 times

anyways. i think that a big reason he gets a lot of hate now rather than someone like lobdell is because lobdell isnt currently writing anything (afaik? hes not writing anything that i care about at least fhdjsahfk) so even though i want him to die hes not in my line of vision and i have no object permanence. TAYLOR on the other hand is writing multiple books rn and i see people hail him as one of dc's best writers and its sooo frustrating so i hate him. he also annoys me so i think he should die

most of what annoys me personally is that he writes the most bland stories with no actual characterization but there are still people acting like hes gods gift to earth in the form of a comic writer ://// like hes not a good writer, hes writing moments that are intended to be screenshotted and posted on twitter instead of writing stories

im not trying to convince you to hate tt or anything ofc, theres nothing wrong with his nightwing run (other than the ableism which like you said is prob more of a dc editorial thing than him specifically) so if you enjoy it thats great, godspeed 🫡

[the-chronicles-of-a-bookworm]

hi Hannah!! I'm slightly late but 🤷‍♀️

(for the nosy ask thing)

13, 14, 15, 16, 18 (only if you're comfy tho), 19, 20, 21, 22, 25, 26, 28, 44

(I'm a super nosy person so)

I noticed your nosiness last time I had a last game! My hands were so tired after typing 😭 im not complaining tho THIS IS SO FUNN

13: biggest turn ons Nice hands. A professional speaking voice. Perfect grammar. Someone who doesn't curse, whispering some curse word under their breath. Like "fuck" really quietly that almost no one would hear. Someone who can genuinely make me laugh. Stupid, witty banter (like percy and annabeth before and after they started dating). A nice smile. WOAH WOAH WOAH STOP HANNAH STOP

14: Biggest turn offs Inflated ego. Insulting people for just existing (like james did to snape) Dishonesty. LITTERING. Being rude. LITTERING. Being really shabby or unhygienic. Someone who makes a mess when eating. Someone who doesn't use cutlery in the appropriate situations (i mean, im indian. we practically invented eating with our hands, but I use cutlery when its appropriate okay? I don't attack my rice of something with my hands in formal situations.) Did I mention littering?

15: Favorite Movie (answered here) but I also want a malayalam movie "Ennum Ninde Moideen" ITS SO GOOD

16: I'll love you if... (tbh I already love you <3) BUT YOU SHOULD READ PERCY JACKSON IF YOU ALREADY HAVEN'T (idk if this counts as an answer tho *sobs*)

JUST A WARNING: THE FOLLOWING QUESTION HAS TRIGERRING STUFF LIKE RAPE, FAMILY STUFF, AND SHITTY FAMILY MEMBERS, SO DONT READ IF YOU'RE NOT COMFORTABLE This is the first time I've ever talked about this to anyone. I don't ever talk about stuff like this, but I think it's time I open up a little.

18: Traumatic Experience When I was 12, I noticed that my grandfather was being a little too touchy. Whenever he got the chance, he would find a way to touch me and make me uncomfortable. I thought this was normal for grandparents to do. I'd known him my whole life. I trusted him, loved him, told him everything. Until he started calling me into his bedroom. Started telling me to undress myself. Started telling me let him "check" my privates to see if there is any problem. For a while, I let him. I let him touch me. Why would he do anything to harm me? I always thought. It got a little too much. Too much that I started screaming for help. I thought, somebody, anybody would help me. Because I knew a grandparent wouldn't do this. I knew this was wrong. And once it all settled, and my parents sorted it out. I was guilty. I blamed myself. I kept thinking "How many time has your mother told you about people touching you. How many times?". And as I was sitting there, I could hear my mother literally wailing. She was screaming. My father and uncle knew about this as well. I had never seen them this angry before. The worst part? We could do fucking nothing. My grandfather was the only reason we could stay in our apartment. It was a hard time and we were struggling with money. My grandmother was facing depression. Her mental state so bad, that I knew she couldn't know about this. My grandfather got away, scotch free. Every time I see him, I think about telling my grandmother. The man she fusses over everyday is not who she thinks he is. But I couldn't. My aunt went into denial. She kept saying that her father wouldn't do such a thing. No one else knew. Whenever I see him, I go into a state where I feel ants all over my body. It goes after a while, but it always stays. (It's a lot to consume. But it felt good to let it all out)

19: A fact about your personality I can get angry easily, and once you've done that I can get so damn scary. My aunt told me that, after she saw me and my brother fight with eachother once, when he broke my laptop.

20: What I hate most about myself I'm ugly.

21: What I love about myself I'm actually pretty smart. It may sound really egoistical, hence why I don't like answering this question, but I know I'm smart. That's why I keep trying to achieve more, you know?

22: What I want to be when I grow older? Oncologist or gynecologist surgeon. Once I retire from actually working in the medical field, I'll be a professor for a medical school.

25: My idea of a perfect date Something at home. Maybe napping a little, eating takeout, watching a movie, listening to music. If we're going out, I want to go to some amusement park. or some 24/7 grocery store. Or McDonalds.

26: Biggest pet peeves Someone chewing with their mouth open. Scraping your plate WITH A METAL FORK. PLEASE FOR GOD'S SAKE STOP. Chewing gum loudly. Not covering their coughs and sneezes. "You act so gayyy" UGH SO ANNOYING I KNOW I ACT GAY OKAY?

28: A description of the people I hate most

44: A random fact DID YOU KNOW THAT A PIG CANNOT PHYSICALLY LOOK UP TO SEE THE SKY? DID YOU KNOW A SHRIMP'S HEART IS IN ITS HEAD? DID YOU KNOW SOME PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY REALLY STUPID SOMETIMES?

[poochie]

le sigh

it makes me so angry, pissed off that (white) people i know are like genuinely feeling violence and rage toward people who "threw their vote away" to not vote harris over trump. sincerely. this was going to happen either way. you've seen the rise of supremacy in this country, you've seen how women were still/are treated poorly in every way, how much transphobia is ramping up and what's being done about it (nothing), and most of all how we are funding a genocide and will continue to be, because of what our country is.

i threw my vote away. i didn't care, and i'll admit it. i added myself as a statistic to...i don't even remember who i voted for. i just picked whichever the first name i saw that wasn't harris or trump, i think there were 2 choices? but yeah, i didn't want to vote for harris, who was right there by biden signing off on sending the military to break up protests on campuses. who stands with biden in saying this

oh thank god you won't be silent about genocide, i mean humanitarian issues, while you show your unwavering commitment to the ones leading the genocide, i mean causing some humanitarian issues. thank goodness! i thought you were one of them. phew.

meanwhile what did she say about 10mos in when they were being wishy washy and teasing a ceasefire deal that was never ever ever going to happen not even a little?

anyone can fucking "realize their rights" ...did anyone else wake up one day and realize they shouldn't be hunted down for existing where they've always existed? or are you stupid?

whatever.. but why are acquaintances and friends of mine actually being so bitchy and aggressive to people that voted not blue no matter who? did you think the nightmare was all going to go away? did you think the supremacists and hate groups that have been thriving just as much under biden as they did trump would just disband? that they wouldn't be encouraged and invigorated to start going out and hunting you down if harris won? they may be emboldened under trump, but they're emboldened enough to exist in the first place. it's our country itself that is the problem.

i didn't want to vote for her because of my personal opinions and morals regarding the war, and my feelings on just how helpful their reversal of trumps license to discriminate regulation did for my state - nothing. what did their creation of the office of gun violence prevention do overall, nationwide? felt like nothing to me. i can go through the HRC timeline of what biden did for LGBT+ rights and how much support his administration showed for stopping hatecrimes, but i can still think of many hatecrimes and protests that were torn apart and how children in foster care that were different were still abused and still left behind in a system that doesn't care about them. idk. just felt like nothing to me..

our votes didn't matter with the electoral college right there. it was always up to others anyway and it will be for many many years to come. you're angry at the wrong people.. i voted like it didn't matter because i know it didn't matter, i felt for a very long time that trump would win, and i knew it. i live in right and red as fuck texas and my parents are fucking mexican and i know they love and support trump. sincerely i only paid attention to policies here in texas and in my county that i thought would benefit my immediate quality of life...our lives don't matter to the fucking president. did you really think it was going to be so easy? why are you mad at people like me who felt hopeless under trump, still felt hopeless under biden, and will go back to still feeling hopeless under trump? we are hopeless. unless we stay alert and pay attention to what is going on in our own states? does change not start from the inside out? how are you white and gay online living in a primarily white fly-over state that still ended up blue freaking out about your right to be alive more than me, a lesbian person of color with a transgender partner who can't transition for quite some time in a very large and very diverse state that's still opposed to people like us being alive in it? versus your state that doesn't really bat an eye at you because you look like them? i live in a suburban area and know plenty of gay people in person who are older than me and live with their partners but i still get scared. i was leaving work yesterday and passed a white guy holding his phone in such a way that i thought it was a handgun and i started walking much quicker past him. do you see a gun in public and wonder if it'll be pointed at you, white person? idk. idk. this sucks for everyone. i'm sorry you feel that way. are you still angry with me for being alive and tossing my vote because it didn't matter to me? are you more angry with me for doing that than you are with the white people in your own blue state sitting around doing nothing about their privileges and power? are you scared for your safety in your own state? i never saw you advocating for anything until after the results. i'm happy for you that you get to be angry with the wrong people.