extinquishedstardust

[extinquishedstardust]

I. Wanna slit my wrists. Or kill myself. Either or.

[extinquishedstardust]

I feel like a fucking NPC. I’m trying so hard to not spiral right now but it’s 8am and I’m already thinking about suicide because everything is so fucked. Why do I bother doing anything when my voice doesn’t matter.

[extinquishedstardust]

[extinquishedstardust]

you can't expect someone who grew up ostracized to behave like someone who grew up loved.

[extinquishedstardust]

Update. Took one (1) Benadryl at work for the intended purpose of allergy relief and I did not get sleepy but I had such bad brain fog I could barely form a sentence

I don’t want to do Benadryl but I do want to trip so hard I forget all sense of self and time and I just stare vacantly into the void for a few hours

And I really want to go to sleep

Do you see my problem??

[extinquishedstardust]

you can’t be surprised that your coffee got cold after you leave it aside waiting for a long time. this post is not about coffee by the way

[extinquishedstardust]

communication is never hard for someone that actually wants you

[extinquishedstardust]

[extinquishedstardust]

[extinquishedstardust]

I don't regret you but sometimes I wish I had walked away at the start and left things at hello. Because I rearranged my life to fit into yours and that's where I went wrong. Now I have to rearrange my life again and find a new future without you. And that's the hardest part of losing you.

[extinquishedstardust]

[extinquishedstardust]

Give yourself permission to walk away from anyone who half loves you.

[extinquishedstardust]

[extinquishedstardust]

One step forward and ten steps back. Like. What if I actually just fucking killed myself. Then what. They won’t be able to do shit to me.

[extinquishedstardust]

Genuinely contemplating killing myself rn. Like actually.

[extinquishedstardust]

I miss my wings.

I miss flying.

I miss my family.

I miss the sky.

I miss sleeping and waking up to clouds in my face.

I miss the constant warmth from my fire.

I miss my scales.

I miss my powerful body.

I miss being free.

[extinquishedstardust]

Coming to terms with the fact that who I am currently and presently is *mostly* an introject fused with a portion of the OG host has been like crazy stupid fucking hard. Especially when I get memories and I just.

Get sad.