#like idk if I’d end up liking doing on a date or being flirted with

[sarcodyne]

Changed a lot when I was also figuring out my gender.

I remember identifying with Pansexual at one point and irony know of I had any other stops between that and Asexual? Oh I was unsure of asexual or demisexual at one point.

Then after I was pretty set that I was asexual I focused more on my romantic identity. I think it went down a very similar path eventually settling on Aromantic.

And my relationship with my understanding and feeling about labels and sexuality in general has also fluctuated.

When I get was younger I was very into labels but that’s more on my autism than anything. I’ve always been very into anything that and organized the human existence, like cliques and tropes and personality quizzes (mbti, hogwarts houses, zodiac, etc). So labels for sexuality or mental disorders were very important to me.

Now I more so see labels especially for sexuality gender as useful tools to communicate the generic area you stand in. Like one would for the political compass (America flavored), ones shouldn’t assume someone’s opinions on any and all policies based on the words republican or democrat because they are a spectrum. Or like with colors I can call something orange and it can be all over many different shades and people might disagree that that one shade is orange and not red but to me my perception and experiences in the world deem it orange.

I see the same with sexuality and gender. I would technically call myself now unlabeled but I know what my labels would be considered as.

Agender aro/ace just doesn’t fit my full depth of experience with either. I’d say my gender is along the lines of “I just exist and alone in my own space I have no gender identification. It is only society that creates the need for me to identify as anything” and my sexuality is Asexual but aromantic is where I get much more nuanced where it’s more what I’d call “Relationship anarchy” in that my relationships to people are individual and not based on preconceived notions of what certain feelings make a relationship. Personally I feel like I could have what would be called a romantic relationship with a friend even do date stuff or kiss them and still consider it a friendship and vise versa with a “significant other”. Same with how others feel to me where they could call me their dating partner but I know I’d never feel the romantic attraction they feel to me but I’m okay with being seen in that capacity.

I view actions as parts of individual relationships and not based on what type of attraction you feel to a person. So because I’d technically be okay with dating and being in romantic relationships idk if I’d be “classified” as purely aromantic. I know there are many other places along the spectrum that have names but personally just like with my gender I am comfortable knowing I am somewhere along that part of the spectrum but don’t feel the need to know or clarify exactly where.

So I think I’d call myself label light. Or like my labels have a lowered opacity and that you need to look behind to fully get the full understanding of what it is labeling. Like desserts. I have the label of chocolate chip cookie but you have to look at what it is directing to to know if they’re soft or crunchy or dark chocolate or milk chocolate or fancy or store bought.

…and I could rant and make a hundred analogies about my philosophy towards labels and sexuality and gender for forever. I’ve ranted enough as it is lol

*this includes if you've gone back and forth. so if you went from straight to bi to gay to bi to gay, that's 5 times

[flemingsfreckles]

Pretend We’re Good

Niamh Charles x Reader

Synopsis: based off this request!

Warnings: toxic behavior from both Niamh and Reader, suggestive at the end, fighting, angsty

WC: 3.3k

A/N: this is the first time I’ve written for someone other than Jessie, but I follow Niamh as a player so idk thought I’d give it a go.

Also shout out to whoever this anon was, this song is a banger and has found its way onto my driving to work playlist which I am extremely picky about, so thanks for the indirect song suggestion! 🫶

Seeing the match announcement was one thing, actually showing up and playing it was another.

Playing England was good preparation for the Olympics, they were a quality team, you knew that, but that meant you’d have to see Niamh. That meant you’d have to mark Niamh on the pitch. It meant you’d have to give her a silly handshake before the game and wish her good luck.

You and Niamh had a complicated history. You played at Liverpool together for a season before she left for Chelsea. You had always had a flirty friendship as teenagers but it never amounted to anything.

Then when she left for Chelsea, it broke your heart. Which made you realize how strong your feelings were for the girl, bawling when she said goodbye and then again at home in bed. For hours at a time you would remain motionless on your mattress, wishing she’d come back. You had been a mess for a couple weeks not knowing how to handle losing your best friend and the girl you had seemingly fallen in love with. The two of you kept in touch but it wasn’t comparable to seeing her everyday, to being her travel roommate, to being her bus buddy.

Then you got a call a season later. A call offering you a spot at Chelsea, you barely thought about it, the club's reputation, plus being back with Niamh, you easily said yes, signing your name on the line to become a blue.

Niamh was your first call, she was ecstatic about you joining the club. It didn’t take long for the two of you to fall back into your friendship and with the friendship came the oblivious flirting.

“You two are insufferable. Will you just admit you want to makeout.” Erin had teased the two of you. Her teasing, while not appreciating in the moment, had forced you and Niamh to actually sit down and talk about your feelings. You both admitted to wanting more than just a friendship and you went on your first official date after.

The next two years with Niamh were pure bliss. You played well together, you’d spend your holidays together, you met her family and she met yours.

Everything was good, until you became unhappy at Chelsea. You were progressively losing playing time to new signings, only seeing the pitch as a sub, it was impacting you heavily mentally and hurting your playing time internationally as well.

So when you got the offer to move to the NWSL, you took it. You took it and you didn’t tell Niamh until the day you confirmed the transfer.

You had broken the news at dinner in your apartment and an argument had quickly unfollowed.

“I can’t believe you’d just leave like that!” Niamh stood from the table grabbing her plate, not offering to clear yours like she typically would.

“I’m not happy here Niamh!” Niamh would be lying to herself if she said she didn’t know you were unhappy. She’d heard you rant and complain about your playing time, your struggles in training, and she had been supportive thought it all. She just never imagined you’d go as far as to leave her, to leave her and leave the country, the continent behind.

“What? I don’t make you happy?” She screamed across the room at you.

“You do! You’re the best thing I have here!” It was all you could yell back.

The defender grew quiet, looking at you with hurt eyes. “But I’m not enough, am I?” She asked quietly.

“Niamh.” You wanted to scream at her that this had nothing to do with her, she was the only reason you had stayed at this team so long. You had been given other offers but you thought maybe, somehow you’d end up with more playing time again and you’d go back to being happy where you were but that day never came.

“No, you should go, enjoy New York. Go where someone or something is enough for you.” She slammed the door behind her leaving you alone in your apartment.

The next day, your final day at Chelsea, you showed up, puffy eyed from crying instead of sleeping all night. It was quickly picked up on by the other girls, especially when Niamh didn’t come in with you, and she didn’t show up to training.

You gathered everyone in the conference room before film review. You stood up, explaining that while you loved the friendships and connections you’ve made here, to better yourself as a player it was time to move on. As you spoke you noticed Niamh slip in through the door, she looked just as rough if not worse than you did. Red cheeks, bloodshot eyes, her hair was a mess, she wasn’t dressed for training. You finished your speech before quickly saying goodbye to everyone all the girls lining up to hug you and wish you well, all the girls except Niamh who remained seated in the back of the room.

You left the facility shortly after, taking all your belongings with you before hurrying home. You were set to leave early the next morning, your belongings to be packed up by hired movers, anything you shared to be left with Niamh. You packed up just the essentials, enough to get you through the first week of your move before you could get settled.

You sent Niamh a text, asking if she wanted to come over for a bit, thinking you could talk it out, but you got no response. The next morning you hopped on a plane, having no idea if you were even still in a relationship with the girl.

It took a few weeks until you heard from her. A drunken phone call after they had won the league. A phone call that part of you wishes never came. You could tell from her first words that she must’ve been hammered, standing outside a loud nightclub or bar. Her voice brought back all of the feelings you had managed to push down for the past few weeks. Her proclamation of love over the phone, begging and pleading with you to forgive her for her stupid behavior. She begged to have you back in her bed, saying she missed the intimacy with you, the connection. She begged for a chance at long distance, to still be the one you wanted.

You never called her back. You weren’t even sure if she remembered calling.

And now here you were, standing less than an arms length away from her as you both stood waiting to enter the pitch. When you had stopped next to her, she had looked at you, when you made eye contact she gave you a small “hello” with a look of guilt across her face.

The game was easier, it was easy to forget she was there. She just looked like any other England player. You were able to push her from your mind, putting you more at ease than you had expected to be being this close to the woman after all that had happened.

It was after the game where you found yourself in uncomfortable waters with her. You had shaken her hand last, avoiding all eye contact. When Niamh tried to speak to you, you quickly dropped her hand and then made a b-line for the locker room.

“Please wait.” Her voice pleading with you as you heard her follow you down the tunnel.

“Niamh, no.” You don’t even turn back to look at her. You couldn’t, if you looked at her your body might convince you to hear her out.

“I don’t need you back, I just want closure, you deserve closure, I didn’t give you that.”

“Do you want closure or do you just want to feel less guilty for what you did to me?” You spit back at her, turning around you watch as her already guilty looking face twists into one of anger.

“You left the country with one days notice! Don’t blame this all on me!” She shouts back at you.

You sigh, you couldn’t believe this was happening. You and Niamh, standing less than three feet from each other, face to face for the first time since she left your apartment. You couldn’t determine your feeling, half of you wanted to grab her, kiss her hard and make up for all the time you two had missed out on. The other half of you was ready to shove her out of the way, leave here and hope you’d never have to play the Lionesses again. “And you walked out! You didn’t even try Niamh!”

“I didn’t know how. I didn’t even know where to start! It was such late notice. I didn’t know what to do, I loved you, I still love you.” She’s making eye contact so intense you can’t look away. This is exactly what you feared. Unable to hold back from the girl you start rambling.

“I still love you too Niamh, you think I don’t? You’re the only reason I stayed Niamh, because I loved you so fucking much, I couldn’t leave you, until playing for Chelsea became so unbearable, I had to leave to save myself, I was ready to quit.” You feel the tears on your face, suddenly very aware that you were crying.

You had only expressed how miserable you were to Niamh on the day you told her your contract was signed. She didn’t know you were on the verge of quitting, giving up on your love for the game.

You notice some of your teammates starting to filter into the tunnel. You and Niamh both stop talking as they pass by. Catarina slows down as she walks by, you try and duck your face to hide the tears. She looks between you and Niamh, giving you both a sympathetic smile before she moves on.

“Quit?” Niamh's face matches the look of your empathetic teammates in the tunnel.

You nod, avoiding making eye contact with Niamh, not wanting her to see right through you. She could always read you, she knew, you expressed your emotions too well through your eyes.

“I didn’t know it was that bad. Why didn’t you tell me?” Niamh grabs your hand, you start to pull it away but the feeling of her hand in yours again makes your stomach flutter so you leave it. “I don’t know what I can do. But,” you feel her squeeze your hand. “I want you back, or I want you again, I’m not sure I lost you, ever I don’t know what we were doing for those few months. Please?”

“We weren’t together during those months.” Sure you never confirmed a break up but you had decided not hearing from her meant you were no longer a couple. But you also hadn’t started seeing other people, the feelings of Niamh still too fresh.

“No, I know, it’s just we never broke up.”

“Niamh, I don’t know.”

“Please don’t make me beg. Even if it’s just a night? Just dinner or drinks, I’ll pay, or we can go to my place and I’ll let you yell at me, or tell me everything I did wrong, or we can just sit, whatever, just one night, me and you can we pretend we’re good? Pretend we’re something again? Go back to how it was?”

“Niamh.” You breathed out. You knew you shouldn’t. You knew both of your behaviors were toxic, you leaving with little notice and her storming out and drunkenly calling you begging for you back. You two shouldn’t be doing this. You shouldn’t, but you wanted to. You loved her still.

You wanted to have a night with her, a date, an afternoon, something! In reality you wanted her for the rest of your life. You missed her hugs, you missed the way she kissed you, you missed the way you’d sing in the car together despite both having less than excellent voices. You missed falling asleep next to her. You missed her body on yours. You missed getting up early to make her coffee or tea and bringing it to her in bed, the way she’d sit up to sip it with crazy bed head. You missed everything about her.

You missed her and this was your chance to have her again. Even if it was just to pretend, for a night.

Niamh must’ve been able to tell you were pondering. She didn’t plea with you anymore, she didn’t beg again. She just waited patiently, studying your face, the face she’s been longing for.

“Okay. One night, like we used to be.” You finally give in.

“Really?” Niamh’s face lights up at your answer. A smile across her lips. “Okay, I’ll pick you up from your hotel? Can we have dinner? Or just drinks? Or I don’t know.”

“That sounds good.” Drinks and dinner would be harmless, a good way for the two of you to talk, in public, keep it civil.

When Niamh picked you up she was dressed up. You thankfully had dressed up as well. Subconsciously when you packed, you threw in a nice matching lace set, which you had put on underneath a simple shirt and nice pants. She had gotten out of the car to open the passenger side door, something she did when you were together.

“Thank you. Thank you for agreeing to this.” She said one back in the driver’s seat.

“Yeah.” You clasped your hands in your lap, when you were together you’d have your hand on her thigh or her hand in yours, today you kept them to yourself.

“I was thinking dinner?”

“Yeah that sounds good, I haven't eaten yet.”

Niamh nods before starting to drive to dinner. She pulls into an Italian restaurant, one the two of you had frequented while together.

When you sat down Niamh ordered a glass of wine, before looking at you. “Would you like one?”

“Yeah that'd be great.” you order the same wine as Niamh. When the glasses come Niamh holds hers up, tapping it to yours before you both take a sip and fall into silence.

You break the silence first.

You apologize for leaving on such short notice. You apologize for not telling her that you were considering leaving. You apologize for not expressing how you were feeling, truly upset at Chelsea. You apologize for never calling her, for never reaching out. You apologize for everything.

Niamh just sits, listening to you, really listening. She doesn’t interrupt, she just sits, making eye contact when you look at her. You find yourself looking away most of the time, feeling embarrassed as you list all the poor behavior, all the places you went wrong.

When you’re done, you sit back looking across the table at Niamh. Thankfully your food had arrived just as you finished apologizing and you were able to occupy the silence by eating. As you start to eat, Niamh begins to speak. She hasn’t started to eat and she’s hardly looked at the pasta in front of her.

“Niamh.” You interrupt, it was rude but you wanted to ensure she knew she could eat. “Please eat, we can talk after, don’t let it get cold.”

She nods, picking up her fork and swirling it into her meal. You eat for the most part in silence. Niamh asks a few questions about your new place in New York, your new team. When you tell her it’s going well, you’re playing more, you are often in the starting IX she replies with “I know.” When you told her you scored in your first game with them, she replies the same “I know.”

You look at her. “You keep up with me?”

“Of course I do.” She says. “I watch your games, I keep up with you, you have me rooting for you all the way across the pond. I, uh, I have your jersey.”

“Really?” You definitely didn’t expect her to own a jersey of yours. You had a couple of her Chelsea jerseys and you knew she had a couple of your old Chelsea ones as well, you just didn’t expect her to buy a new one, for your new team after what happened.

“Yeah.” She sighs.

She then begins an apology list of her own. She apologizes first for the drunken call. She had remembered doing it. She apologized for storming out on you, she apologized for ignoring you when you said your goodbyes to the team. She apologized for not reaching out, something you were both guilty of.

“I do still love you.” She ends her apology with those words.

“I still love you Niamh.” You can’t help it, you loved this woman, everything about her.

You don’t get to follow up on what that meant for either of you as the waiter comes with the bill, Niamh grabbing it before you can, when you let out a pouting huff, she just gives you a glance.

“Please it’s the least I can do, plus I asked you to this.”

“Fine.” You cross your arms. “But I get the next one.”

“The next one?” Niamh’s face breaks into a small smile, just creeping on her lips. “As in, another time?”

“If that’s something you want to do?”

“Yeah.” She says. “Does that mean, we’re…” she points a finger between the two of you.

You knew it was maybe too soon to let her back in, too soon for both of you but you really didn’t care. Sitting here being able to see her, hear her, admire her, made you miss every inch of her. You wanted her back, you needed her back. Long distance would be something to figure out, but not right now, right now you had her in front of you, within reach.

You’re not sure what to call yourselves yet, so you nod. “If that’s something you want too.”

“Yeah.” The waiter comes back to the table to give Niamh her card back. You both thank him before leaving the restaurant and heading to her car. Niamh goes to open your car door, just just barely cracks it when you push it closed.

“Hey!” She turns back to scold you, coming face to face with each other.

“Hi.” You breath out practically whispering, this was the closest you two had been in a non-match situation in months. Your faces inches from each other. You look at her eyes, temporarily getting lost in their beautiful blue color. Your trance is broke by her blinking a few times. Your eyes fall to her lips and then back to her eyes. Niamh gets the hint and brings her hands up around your shoulders, pulling you slightly closer.

“Is this okay?” She asks, looking up at you with wide eyes.

You find yourself leaning in, pressing your lips to hers, they feel better than you remember, you can feel your love for her flooding through your body, your hairs standing on edge, its electric and soft and it feels safe. You were kissing Niamh. Your Niamh. The love of your life, the girl you had waited for, the girl who was with you through your teenage years and into young adulthood. This was your girl, she was yours, you promised to never let her go again.

You kiss for a second, your front gently pressed to hers as her back is leaned up against the car. It’s a passionate kiss, both of you pouring months of built up feelings into it. When you break away you can’t hide the smile across your face and by the looks of it neither can Niamh.

“I love you.” You say.

“I love you.” She then turns opening the door again, you let her this time and you get into the car. When she climbs in the drivers seat she asks where to.

“Yours?” You suggest. “I can think of a few more ways we can make up for lost time.” You give her a wink and Niamh gets the hint, quickly starting the car in the direction of her apartment. It only takes a few turns before her hand finds its way to your upper thigh, giving it a hard squeeze.

Sure it wasn’t the healthiest way of working out your problems together, but it worked, you both got your frustrations out, you were able to express your emotions, show how much you missed each other, how much you loved each other, and by the time morning came the two of you had decided you were back together.

Girlfriends, just long distance ones.

[letstalkaboutfandomsbaby]

Hi honey! Idk if requests are open? If yes, I’d like to request something with a handsome character (it can be whoever you want) who loves to work out and play sports and he’s soooo in love with the chubby reader but she’s oblivious to his feelings until he’s jealous cause he thinks the reader has a crush on another guy so he confronts her and asks her what's going on, even tho, they don't have any romantic relationship and they end up making out and something more

Such a yummy idea, i love it 💕

───────────────

Imagine the captain of the football team having a crush on you. You're in a few of his classes and he can't focus on anything but you, the chubby cutie that he always tries to sit next to. He's always so nice to you, trying to win your favor but you think he's just being friendly.

Oh, if only you knew the thoughts he had about you, imagining you in all sorts of ways. He really wants to fuck you standing up, hearing you gasp when he picks you up with ease, holding you against the wall and pounding your pretty pussy until you squirt all over his abs and thighs. He wants to feel your chubby pussy cling to his cock, squeezing him tight, milking him for all he's worth. And then he wants to do it all over again, and again, and again and again until you're completely spent and can't even think.

But he's fine with being friends now, he knows you'll come around. So he carries your books to your next class and invites you to his practices and shows off while he works out just so you'll notice him. He wants all your attention on him so you'll realize that he's perfect for you.

But one day he sees one of his teammates talking to you while you sit on the bleachers, and he's making you laugh and you're touching his arm and it makes his blood boil. How dare another man come up to you and try to steal you away from him? He saw red and stomped up to you, pulling you away to the locker rooms to confront you.

"Why're you talking to Jacob? What's so special about him?"

"Dude, what are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about just now! You were talking and laughing and acting all cute around him. Are you trying to flirt with him? What's he got that I don't?"

"What... what do you mean?"

"I mean, I've been trying to date you for months now and it seems like you're not interested. Am I not smart enough? Am I not funny enough? What do I gotta do to get you to notice me?"

"You... like me?"

"Of course I do! I've liked you since the moment we met! When are you gonna realize how much I want you?"

You're both silent for a bit before he steps closer, backing you into the lockers and leaning in, hesitating right before he locks lips with you. You're both nervous, but you kiss each other nonetheless, lips melding together slowly. You introduce your tongues soon enough, slurping around each other, making you moan into his mouth. His hands move to your waist, going down to your hips to your ass, giving it a squeeze. He pulls your hips towards his and you can feel him getting hard. He pulls away from the kiss, looking down at you with lust blown eyes.

"Do you wanna come over to my place after practice?"

You swallow, your face burning.

"S-Sure, that sounds fine."

He smiled wickedly, and you knew that you'd be in for a long night.

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[howlsofbloodhounds]

Do you have any sexuality + gender identity head cannons for Color & Killer?

Idk if you ever mentioned this already or not so if you did then sorry lol

I probably made a post like it awhile ago but I’m not gonna go looking for it, mostly because my views might’ve changed since then.

Well for one I’d like to say they’re both definitely on the AroAce spectrum somewhere. Killer is definitely Demiromantic to me, and I’m just gonna say he’s Aceflux because I can’t decide on either Asexual or Demisexual or some other label—and also because his relationship with things like sex and intimacy is most definitely effected by whatever Stage he is in.

I highly doubt Stages 1, 3, and 4 are gonna be able to do the Sex, even if 1 may want to with someone he trusts and wants to be closer with (Color for example, since we’re talking about them.) even if he feels the desire and attraction to, so possibly Demisexual or just Ace and wanting to feel closer with someone he trusts.

He may get there eventually, compared to Stage 2 who definitely would be more willing to give it a try (if only because he’s curious and also probably definitely likes the power/control elements).

But I ultimately just think regardless of Killer’s sexual orientation, he will flirt with people because he thinks it’s amusing (in Stage 2), but ultimately he will struggle with being intimate. It’d probably be a lot easier for Stage 2 if he’s able to be in control of these encounters (cuffs and restraints definitely lmao), if only to avoid the risk of murdering his bedmate. (And also to avoid the risk of debilitating flashbacks and dissociating through the entire thing).

(Killer’s probably the type who prefers to give pleasure rather than receive anyway.)

I ultimately think that Killer does have his romantic fantasies, especially in Stage 1. I think she enjoys the idea of being romantic and possibly even idolizes it in Stage 1, but ultimately he believes it’s just a fantasy. Killer would probably actually find it hard to believe that anyone would feel that way towards him—Stage 2 is likely to dismiss as a funny joke at first, before eventually just calling whoever seems to show interest in em like that downright delusional.

Doesn’t mean she won’t take advantage of it anyway if it helps him achieve a goal or something. If whoever is dumb enough to trust him, then that’s not his problem now is it. (Of course, this is a Stage 2 that’s still with Nightmare. How they respond to this in an ending with Color, where he’s recovering and healing, may be different. And of course things will be drastically different if this person has been able to make him trust them while in Stage 1. Because if so, then that’s just fascinating.)

All in all, I don’t think Killer of any Stage has ever actually considered labeling themself anything; either in terms of sexuality or gender. Buddy is doing what she wants.

And honestly I don’t think Stages 3 and 4 are even in any state to consider things like romance and sex, or lack thereof at the moment. Bros think they’re fighting for their lives and they have no clue what’s going on.

I definitely think Stage 4 uses only it/its pronouns. But this is due to dehumanization. Bro probably doesn’t even respond to any type of name either. I doubt it even comprehends what the hell romance or sex or intimacy or a hug is.

So I have some ideas for Killer, but if I’m being fr, I don’t think Killer would give a fuck about my ideas. She’s doing his thing.

As for Color, I view him as somewhere on the AroAce spectrum too. I personally like @ozziethegreat’s HC that Color and Delta dated for a bit before breaking up, probably because this was how they both discovered they’re at least somewhere on the Aromantic spectrum and also they were both pretty lonely, but were better off as friends.

As for pronouns, perhaps he/they, but I am projecting that Color just ultimately doesn’t really grasp the idea of “gender” and so just really goes by whatever. Most call him he/him and he doesn’t bother to correct them because there’s no need. He doesn’t really consider any “social norms” in regard to clothes or gender, so he wears whatever he feels comfortable wearing.

( @lovelyheartclover ).

[chaosology]

condensing it all into one post, here’s my…

works in progress

i’d abbreviate it to WIP but that looks too close to WAP and unfortunately i have the maturity of a 12 year old boy

this is in no specific order and it’ll be updated as they come in :) if you want to navigate thru the blog, i’ve organised it here and the masterlist is here

request # 1: barbie girl

“Can you do a follow up from chills where Sam does actually wear the barbie hoodie to a training or something?”

request # 2

“cannot stop thinking about sam x popstar reader and having cheesy ass love songs written about her like taylor swift’s reputation and lover albums omggg like imagine sam blushing in the crowd while reader sings to her during her concert i’m literally going insane”

request # 3

"lol what about having to fly with sam? she said it’s like her worst fear. or her getting scared"

lurking p3

social media fic with actress!reader

request # 4

“could you write one where Sam plays through a game but she’s sick? and she’s really struggling so the reader is like super worried?”

request # 5

“writing for this prompt (when the other holds onto their waist briefly as they're passing by and it just send chills down their spine) with Sam Kerr (((:”

request # 6

“i was wondering if you would want to write something with sam kerr and the reader and like they have kids and they watch sam play soccer and cheer her on or something?”

request # 7

“could you write a sam kerr fic where the reader got REALLY badly injured and trampled on in the World Cup and she’s got a bad fear of blood, so when she sees that she’s bleeding she faints on the pitch and sam immediately runs over to her (u can write the rest)”

request # 8

“Could you do one when where Sam an reader are going with Ivf an reader has a miscarriage and then later she gets pregnant if you can’t that’s fine love your writing”

request # 9

“Ok so ik that I've already sent you a prompt but I just had the BEST idea. Close your eyes and imagine this: last 10 minutes of the final, you get subbed on, and the score is 1 all, you are awarded a penalty, after final whistle bc sUsPeNsE. You aim for the goal, line it up perfectly and score, the final goal, winning the match. (Sam x reader bc why not)”

request # 10

"have u considered the other height difference option… i am a 5’11 girlie and i find sam’s aerial shenanigans hilarious like. 😮‍💨 girl doing all that jumping just to get to wendie renard’s normal height.. if you were taller you’d be jumping 10 feet easily but alas. anyway um. consider this a prompt for a taller gf height difference (no pressure obv!! just an idea if u felt like it lol)"

request # 11

"Heyyy could I request a sam kerr x reader where the reader is prone to like anxiety and during a match they struggle to breathe because of anxiety and the stress of the game and Sam like takes notice and tells the ref and helps them calm down. 👍😊"

request # 12

"it’s just off the back of your “bad idea right” one shot (fan btw)- just cause i’m soft asl, could we have a follow up please where it’s maybe the morning after or even later and sam is being a bit cocky/teasing/flirty and suddenly reader gets genuinely upset bc it feels like this will never end and they’ll never get over sam and sam doesn’t feel the same way. and sam immediately snaps out of it and it becomes all soft and vulnerable and hopefully happy ending?"

request # 13

"oh shiz i need like a straight mans trying to flirt with reader at like a game or an event and sam just coming up and mans is shook"

request # 14

"what about a proposal? would she do it at a game or like would the other tillies get involved? also like wedding vibes? xx"

request # 15

"ok but what about sam dating a preschool/primary school teacher? like idk but like i just thought it"

benched pt 2

"Part 2 of benched where reader goes into labor and Sam is running around like a headless chicken"

[wolfxplush]

Hey, how do you feel about interaction between my OC Mary (and I have another OC Oliver, Mary’s second cousin) and your OCs? I’d really be interested in seeing this ^^

OFC!! Here you go!!

MARY

Lovette:

•They would get along though- mostly cause Lovette is putting on a show

•Not to say they wouldn’t get along! Lovette though close to the preps hates their guts. (Some)

•Mary would need to prove herself to earn Lovette respect let alone friendship.

•It’s not that hard, just don’t snitch about her illegal ways to her uncle and your as good as gold.

•After awhile she will warm up to her though!

•Lovette is a very serious person on the job, Mary constantly seeks out to annoy her on it.

•begs Lovette to let her do her makeup. Lovette keeps saying no till Mary makes her give in to her constant begging

•Talks about derby. Lovette gets teased for being his ex. While Lovette teases her for liking Gord.

•Mary likes to pay for Lovette. Ice cream friend-dates? It’s on her.

•they wear friendship bracelets but Lovette keeps hers hidden on her ankle.

Romeo:

•Romeo does NOT like preps. Seriously cannot stand them. I’m so sorry.

•jealous of her most likely.

•envy’s people he thinks are pretty.

•I highly doubt a friendship between them but he won’t bother her if she leaves him alone.

Max:

•Your worst enemy and best friend.

•This motherfucker is annoying

•forces her to go to town with him

•shopping sprees aupon shopping sprees

•Max has definitely flirted with her before and quickly got put in his place by Gord.

•Stays up late to talk to one another due to maxwells insomnia.

•teases him for his name

•Tried to bake cookies and they ended up almost burning down the H.house.

-Oliver-

Lovette

•Now this is a prep Lovette can get behind.

•Honestly probably good friends

•Met cause Lovette got him out of trouble with the greasers.

•Constantly doing his hair for him.

•Oliver likes to tease her when they share classes by passing annoying notes to her

•Has begged Lovette to get him out of trouble with teachers if her forgot his homework

•Idk why but they seem like nappers. Would find a quiet place and school like a tree and take a nap.

•Bought her expensive earrings for Christmas despite not liking to send money. Lovette was embarrassed to give him a homemade teddy bear she sewed. (He cried.)

•Everytime Lovette smokes he shoots her with a water gun he has in his pocket.

Romeo:

•Again not a prep liker

•But would tolerate Oliver more than the others though

•wouldn’t start fights with him if they after passed by one another

•closest they got to a hangout was when they stood next to eachother at a party.

“…Weathers nice.”

“….yep.”

Max:

•Oliver hates him.

•And I can’t blame him.

•They are constantly arguing about something dumb.

•max offers to pay him to shut up

•aka no one should be friends with max

[streamdotpng]

Enid ending up on the floor because Wednesday suggested sharing her bed is so funny. It’s as if Wednesday’s gambling or playing a dating sim, like she picked all the right answers to get Enid to stay in her room, but picked the wrong choice by being too forward, causing Enid to sleep on the floor. It’s okay Wednesday, you’ll get another chance to try again.

I must admit something, I don’t read into the crackships of Enid with Jenna Ortega related characters, because my brain only feels it’s okay if she’s with Wednesday. I do like the creative what ifs that come about them however (idk how I’d feel if I was Wednesday, like would you feel jealousy or confusion, like your crush is flirting with what could be a clone of you). Honestly, Enid deserves the best, so I do find it funny if she was just dating all the Jenna Ortega characters. In a weird way, it kind of reminds me of teen titans, when Beast Boy meets all the different personifications of Raven’s emotions. Wenclair will always have my heart tho.

Totally valid mate, I'm just doing the crackships for shits and giggles and to recharge my Wenclair battery with silly aus

Just lemme throw out my goofy lil doodles for Tara and pheobe so we can continue with our regular broadcast of Wenclair in a few days or so

Fluff seems to be the winner so these doodles definitely fit!

As for bodyguard Enid, she does take her job seriously so if Wednesday were to make rediculous requests in the name for 'protection'

Enid will do so

Even if she's aware that it's most likely a lie

[sohmiya]

oc tag game

thank you @sussoro for tagging me!! this was so fun 🩷 tagging @wayhavenots @pierceaugust + anyone who wants to do it!! no pressure <3

FAVOURITE OC: emory chan from merry crisis. also because the qiu brainrot is currently taking over my entire being but yeah. despite the pride emory feels in making her dream as a musician happen, she carries the guilt from knowing it’s not exactly what her parents want for her. she’s the typical eldest daughter who acts as a third parent. another favorite is maya quimby from golden. i wrote a whole list of facts about her a while back so idk what else to say but that’s My Girl. she’s so so special to me <3

NEWEST OC: althea solis from take two. she’s vv underdeveloped right now but in the take two universe, she’s an only child. in an au, she has an older sister named athalia <3

OLDEST OC: sutton hart from midnight hours. before she became an iaos hunter, she was a detective in wayhaven. she’s very ambitious and curious. she’s definitely one of those people who have bucket lists and actually plans to do the things on her list. she felt like wayhaven is too small for her dreams so she left and now she’s in new york

MEANEST OC: cloe hoffman from infamous. idk if i should call her mean but she’s bratty and she complains a lot LMAO literally orion’s nightmare. cloe loves the spotlight and isn’t too bothered being part of the drama as long as attention is on her. because bad publicity is still publicity 🤷🏻‍♀️ she hasn’t done much self-reflection so she’s not yet aware that it stems from her parents not giving her enough attention when she was young. i think once she gains enough self-awareness, she’ll realize that it’s actually her thinking “they didn’t notice me when i was a good kid. maybe they’ll notice me now”

SOFTEST OC: piper ellis from midnight hours. another former detective from wayhaven. she’s a huge disney fan. she keeps tickets (plane, concerts, movies, amusement parks, etc) and pins them on a cork board alongside polaroid pictures. she’s introverted, soft spoken and sooo shy. she’s so easily flustered that she makes nikolas look like the biggest flirt 😭 also kirsten adler from golden. she’s sentimental and timid but less introverted than piper. she’s just self-conscious because she knows that one wrong move and the media will twist it into something that can ruin her dad’s image. she talks nonstop once you bring up something she’s extremely passionate about <3

MOST ALOOF/STANDOFFISH OC: lira kinsley from golden. she’s not a snob but she’s tired of people buttering her up for connections. when she’s moody, she straight up tells the person “my dad’s right there.” she’s selective of who she lets in to her social circle

DUMBEST (AFFECTIONATE) OC: riley cromwell from college tennis. she’s not dumb but clown blood flows in her veins <3 she can be unapologetically cringe lololol one dumb thing i’d say she does is barely controlling her junk food intake and justifying it with “i play tennis a lot. it’s fine”

SMARTEST OC: annika munroe from arcadia city. not because she’s a genius whatsoever. she just reads a lot and constantly tries to stay informed. also because she loves it when people argue with her and the looks on their faces when she ends up being right. she used to be one of my wayhaven detectives as well.

OC I’D BE FRIENDS WITH: sutton. but also because i can put her in any if i play and she’ll end up being friends with someone there 😭 she’s loving, nurturing and thoughtful and she’s very expressive about it. i think it’s also due to having dated immortals (first, nate. now, kian. she likes old men ig) that really put into perspective how short her life is and how quickly time passes. she’s trying to learn how to not overextend herself but sometimes she just can’t help it. being affectionate comes naturally for her

[evansbby]

For the Flirty Asks, #2, 3, 7 & 8 please.

Thank you 😊

Thank you so so much for the questions🩷🩷

2: do you like anyone right now?

Not particularly 😭 I wish my real life love life was more interesting but I currently don’t really have a major crush on anyone. The guys I do have crushes on end up always being in a relationship and obviously, THANKFULLY, that puts me way off them hahaha.

3: how do you act when you have a crush?

Not very smoothly I’m afraid 😂 With guys I do like, I’m always super quiet and stand-offish and I hate it 😭😭 I’m a naturally flirty person and I flirt with everyone EXCEPT for guys I actually like… then I just get super shy haha. BUTTT, after a few weeks of being shy and when I actually get comfortable around the idea of talking to my crush, THEN I get flirty. Like there was this one guy I used to work with I had a huge crush on him but bc of that I literally NEVER spoke to him. It took me three years to finally get fully comfortable around him AND THENNN I was super flirty lmfaoo. Like three years is actually crazy but tbf I was only 19 when I first liked him and in my teenage years I was INSANELY shy! Then in my 20s my personality kind of changed and I decided to stop being shy IDEK!

7: how could someone make you swoon?

Okay so when men do the thing where they put their hand on your waist or lower back and move you to get past you? I KNOW girls hate that and honestly if some weirdo were to do it to me I’d hate it and probably shove him away BUTT. When a hot guy does it?!? OMFG IT MAKES ME SWOON… bc it’s like wow, look at you taking charge! UGH IK I SHOULD NOT LOVE IT BUT I DOO. Also when a man smells of fresh soap, I LOVE that. When a man plays with my hands and fingers, I think that is so cute 🥹🥹 IDK JUST SMALL TOUCHY FEELY LIGHTHEARTED THINGS I love those 🥹🥹

8: what’s something romantic you wish someone would do for you?

Plan a treasure hunt type date for me. The one where there’s a clue and then you have to find another clue etc etc. IDK I FEEL LIKE GUYS ONLY DO THAT IN BOOKS AND MOVIES but if someone made the effort to do that for me in real life??? I would find it so cute and romantic 🥹🥹

[shippingfangirl013]

The Cowboy Hat Rule

(Established Steddie & Byler & Jancy & Lumax & Elmax & Henderhop —> basically a mini ficlet with the Party being equestrians. This might make its way into one of my AUs. Idk.)

——————————————————

Eddie knows the cowboy hat rule.

Steve doesn’t.

Steve takes Eddie’s cowboy hat jokingly one night when they’re goofing off and mostly drunk at a bar.

Nancy, Robin, Vickie, Jonathan, and Argyle are hanging out at a quiet high top in the back. Max and El are playing darts, while Max is getting more and more frustrated because El might be cheating and using her powers to hit the bullseye every time.

Lucas, Dustin, Mike, and Will are sat at the bar, watching a more than tipsy Steve shamelessly flirt with their DM.

“Do you think he knows the rule?” Dustin asks, swirling whatever was left of his rather disgusting beer inside of the tall necked bottle.

Lucas rolls his eyes, “Does it look like Steve knows the rule? He just ran off with Eddie’s hat.” He takes a sip of his drink, wrinkling his nose as it burns down his throat.

“I didn’t know about it until Dustin had that, uh encounter, at that bar we went to a few months ago.” Will chimes in, leaning against the bar top to get a better view of Eddie chasing Steve around the bar. “I swore Mike was going to kill the guy because he kept hitting on me after Dustin turned him down,”

“I would have killed him, too.” Mike mutters from next to Will, instinctively grabbing Will’s hand to pull him closer.

Will rolls his eyes, a teasing lilt in his voice, “Well yeah, I knew you would, but I much prefer your jealousy not end up with a man buried six feet underground. I don’t know that I would want to be with an outlaw.”

Mike huffs, mild irritation overcoming him, “I was just trying to protect your honor,” he objects, leaning his chin on Will’s head.

“Mhmm,” Will hums, glancing up at Mike before turning back to say something to Dustin and Lucas.

After a few moments of silence, Mike breaks the quiet again, still not quite over the last encounter involving the hat rule.

“Will, he didn’t even ask if you had a boyfriend!” Mike outbursts, well aware that he is shamelessly whining because he’s jealous. Sue him. He didn’t like it when other people flirted with Will, and he never claimed to not be a bit of a jealous boyfriend.

“What if he was some weirdo that just tried to hit on you and then murdered you if you had said yes to going home with him?” Mike argues.

Will makes a noncommittal hum in response, as he leaned his head on Mike’s chest, the buzz of alcohol warming his body. Will wasn’t going to complain, in all honesty, he found it a bit amusing that even after months of being together, Mike was still a little jealous.

“You know, I wouldn’t ever leave you, right?” Will mumbles.

“Not even for Dustin?” Lucas interrupts the couple’s private moment, as is the usual when the Party goes out together.

“William, if you’d leave me for Dustin, I’d leave you for Lucas - and that’s never going to happen.” Mike says as he flips Lucas off.

“Well,” Will replies, pretending to think it over, “Dustin is possibly the nicest person I know, and he’d be the best boyfriend because he pays attention and he doesn’t forget to come to Vet appointments for his horse,”

“That was one time!” Mike all but yells, flabbergasted that Will would actually consider leaving him for Dustin, but equally as horrified at the prospect of dating Lucas who is also dating Max who is also dating El who is also dating Dustin.

Lucas blows a kiss at Mike, as Mike glowers at their best friends… and if Will noticed Mike’s hold on him tighten a little bit, he doesn’t say anything to indicate that he’s uncomfortable.

“Besides, you ride hunt seat! You didn’t even have a cowboy hat on, you had your baseball cap on,” Mike mutters to Will, keeping his voice quiet enough that the others can’t hear.

Will laughs lightly, because of course Mike Wheeler is the most jealous person he knows, but only when it comes to Will… and Will often finds it at least little endearing.

“The hat rule applies to cowboy hats for the most part, but sometimes it’s modified to baseball caps,” Will points out, before placing a kiss on the back of Mike’s hand, lacing their fingers together.

Mike huffs in slight irritation, before his focus shifts to the older crowd of adults with them.

“Stevie, come on, can I have my hat back?” Eddie all but whines.

Steve had been running around with Eddie’s hat for nearly fifteen minutes, and Eddie is seriously regretting dating a jock that did track growing up. Who knew Steve Harrington could run around that fast while drunk?

“Steve, please just give me the hat back, babe,” Eddie asks again, walking towards a drunken Steve as if he’s approaching a wounded animal.

“No, Munson, I like your hat. I think I want to keep it on, sorry.” Steve grins, making finger guns at Eddie.

——

“I’m shocked no one told him the hat rule,” Nancy mutters, shaking her head.

“Oh, and you know the hat rule, Wheeler?” Jonathan asks, quirking an eyebrow at his girlfriend.

“Jonathan, I’ve been riding horses since I was seven, and I’m not new to the mounted shooting scene, you get hit on at a few bars, and you figure it out.” Nancy shoots back, leaning her head against his shoulder. He shrugs, moving to lean his own head against hers.

“Maybe we should have told Steve about the hat rule before he got drunk. . .” Vickie chimes in, her finger drawing patterns on the lacquered wood of the high top table.

“No way, this is so much funnier!” Robin says, watching as Eddie finally retrieves his hat from his boyfriend.

“Hey, Eddie!” Max yells from the dart board, “isn’t the rule that you have to fight or ride the person that stole your hat?”

El is beside Max, nearly doubled over in laughter.

“Ride it like you stole it, and all, right?” Max grins at Eddie as he sends her his most withering glare.

“Really, I hate all of you.” Eddie gripes, adjusting his hat, and helping his very drunk boyfriend back to their spot at the high top.

———

“Hypothetically, if anyone ever tries to take your hat, would you let me challenge them to an old fashioned duel?” Mike’s breath is warm against Will’s ear, he shudders in the warmth of the bar, and it feels as if his every nerve has been set on fire. He shifts out of Mike’s grasp for a moment, to look at his boyfriend, puzzled as to why the topic is still being discussed.

“Okay, but, Mike, first off I’m not dating an outlaw. No matter how endearingly jealous you may be, I don’t want to marry a criminal. And second, you’ve never shot a gun in your life?” Will means to say it as a statement, but it comes out as more of a question. He’s almost certain that in the years he’s known Mike, Mike has never shot a gun, let alone a dueling pistol.

“Growing up with Nancy doing mounted shooting has its perks,” Mike shrugs, turning his face into his shoulder to try to hide the red tinge coming over his face.

He takes a sip of his water before turning back to Will.

(I’m probably adding to this later, but that’s as good as it’s getting so far. I’ve been in a bit of a writers block funk lately, but wanted to try adding to this idea.)

@punkharringtxn I’ve had this idea in my head for weeks since you posted about Appalachian!Eddie and well… I keep ending up on cowboy TikTok so, I felt this was a necessary addition.

[redheadbigshoes]

hey no pressure but do you have any advice for like…figuring out when you like someone platonically or possibly like romantically if that makes sense?

I have a few friends that like certain ppl when I talk abt them say they think I have romantic things for them and I don’t think so but like I can’t really tell the difference. I mean. one of them it’s a no but I’m not hard against the idea of dating her, like, in the future maybe (which is good because she’s the only one of these friends that does not identify as some type of sapphic). the other I have very strong feelings for but I think they’re platonic/famial but we did have a very homoerotic friendship a few years ago and like. idk. sometimes when I daydream we went up flirting with eachother and if we were in a time loop I’d probably kiss her but I wouldn’t explore that in this world where I have to live with the consequences of that (I think that’d be a very easy way to loose her) and the final one. I think it’s platonic but like I’m also not against the idea of dating her. If she asked me out I don’t know what I would say? I’d be scared if loosing her but I mean if she asked me out we’ve already crossed over into affecting the friendship territory. She is objectively very attractive too. If future ne showed up and said we were married I don’t find that unfathomable. Like. Makes enough sense. I also apparently talk about her quite a bit. I do get kinda nervous before we hand out but I think that’s just like…I think she’s really cool and I want her to liek me, yk? I do have social anxiety. Although for a point against, I know she wants kids one day and I 100% do not.

anyway, I don’t really know how I feel abt all them? I think probably not. Buut. I do want to get a girlfriend one day (I mean soon but do I see that happening soon? no ngl) and I fear I’m gonna end up in very similar situations as I make new friends because I don’t really see myself not dating my friends I don’t know how you do that really how do you date someone without being friends with them first yk?

I feel like it depends on what you mean by romantic attraction.

A lot of people use romantic attraction to mean when they have a crush. But tbh I think to be romantically attracted to someone it doesn’t necessarily mean you have a crush on them, in your case I do believe it could be considered romantic attraction because from what you said you can imagine yourself dating her and kissing her.

And ofc platonic and romantic feelings can coexist.

I’d say to understand the difference between romantic attraction to having a crush: if you’re only romantically attracted to the person you wouldn’t mind if they dated someone else or anything like that. But if you do have a crush on them you’d probably care if they dated someone else that isn’t you.

Tbh I’ve never dated someone I was friends first. Everyone I dated I met with the intention of dating them. But I get dating friends, it’s someone you’re already familiar with and have a stronger connection.

[heythere-depression]

5/5/2024

Do I love him or love the idea of being someone’s girlfriend again? Honestly I shouldn’t be looking to date. Manny actually said something that made me feel dumb about my crush.

He told me that I need to stop chasing toxic men and that for as long as he’s known me, I’ve always been someone’s girlfriend. I also don’t need to be sleeping in the same bed as him when I see him, it’s weird and I was like no it’s not and he said it was because apparently we’re too old to be playing games and that I need to think about what the future looks like if I were to actually tell him that I still want to be with him.

I also have a thing I kind of like with this guy who is in Nigeria and I like him but he’s ridiculously far and I just don’t know about how it would happen if. We did meet. Again, flirting but not committing to seeing what the future would look like. I didn’t think I was playing a game. He’s cute and wants to be a pro soccer player. We message every day and honestly I like how he makes me feel. But I’ve firmly told him that he will make it big in soccer overseas and is determined to fly me out to see him play a game in person. It sounds romantic and stuff, I know it’s also idealistic and kind of improbable to happen but I stupidly like the attention. So I told him that I told Johnny I was in love with him and that he and I were together again and he was supportive of it because he said he just wants me to be happy. But he’s still very flirty and I told him it’s never going to happen but he said he likes the chase anyway and honestly I do too.

Anyway, I haven’t told Johnny anything because idk what I’d say to him. I miss him, I want to sleep with him again, I want to help him celebrate his ongoing sobriety. I want to be his girlfriend because he was a very good boyfriend in the moments he was sober. He was really great, he tried, and he’s starting welding school on Monday. It’s an 18 month program, and I want to get my own place within that time frame because I want us to both be in a better place in our individual lives before we try again. If I try again, it ends with him. I’ll either stay with him in a long commitment kind of deal, or we decide we really are better off as friends.

It comes down to whether or not I want to wait for him or not . Wait for him to get his shit together, support and cheer from afar, treat him to a kick ass Airbnb for supercon Saturday tickets and wanting to tell him that weekend that I want him again. But I don’t know, he deserves someone consistent with his feelings, and that he doesn’t want to be settled for just because I’ve had bad luck on the apps and I still like him anyway. I fucking miss him. I hate long distance.

Sam said it’s not really long distance. I just need to be completely sure before I say anything. I want it to be him, but manny made me feel dumb about that. I always go for the broken, toxic, cheese sandwich guy because he paid attention to me. It hurt because I just want attention because I miss having someone always wondering what I’m up to and kind of being obsessed with me? It’s just different.

[bisluthq]

Need some advice queen, since you’re the best at it.

So I had this mild thing with somebody, whatever. We both like each other, blah, blah. They were pretty wild for me too, mind you, once upon a time. We’re in different cities tho, up until I move (so it’s a couple hrs).

Anyways, I was in their city for a week but couldn’t meet up with them, and they decided to talk about how they want to “rip off my shirt” and just sexual talk, whatever.

Shortly after me telling them I’m unable to, until x date (few months), they said they would wait. Then I noticed their demeanour changed, leaving me on read if I get flirty, etc, OBVIOUSLY they got a girlfriend.

NOW I notice they tend to watch all my Snap stories, which (most will argue it means nothing) but my intuition tells me it does mean something.

So I stopped sending them snaps for a week, they stop sending me snaps for a week, I haven’t bugged them. Then I decided to delete them after I saw some push-pull manipulative method bragging on Tik Tok.

After deleting them, this confirms my suspicions they’re watching me, because I haven’t sent them anything. Which means they’re constantly checking my profile, and or Snap score. That’s how they knew I deleted them.

I then get an angry msg from them, saying I confuse them, they’re upset with me cause I told them they’ll forget me, blah, blah I felt bad so I just BS’d them saying I did it while drunk, and not out of malice.

They got happy again, and then send me a pic flexing their Mercedes Benz (mind you they use to drive a diff car but they see me in the Benz, now suddenly they have one?) And then saying they’re going to THEIR girlfriends house.

Now I feel so fucking icky, because I flirted with them weeks ago, and they didn’t mention the gf (just my intuition) they never post her so idk.

But like why stalk me? ESP when they have a girlfriend I don’t … Get it? What do I do? Ghost?

I think the best thing to do is send them a polite message saying “listen, I don’t feel comfortable with our dynamic now that you have a gf. I’m also not sure I want to be friends for now because of the past history/the dynamic we’ve got going on. Best of luck with your relationship! Hopefully after this settles down a bit, we can all meet up when I move there in a couple months and be friends :) for now though I’d prefer no more contact. I’ll let you know when I’m in [their city]. Thanks!” That’s transparent and honest. It’s not accusatory. It’s just setting a super healthy boundary, reminding them of their gf and their responsibilities to her, and saying you don’t want to be part of any untoward shenanigans. And then if they keep messaging after that like yeah ghost them. But say something like that first (in your own words obviously) just to explain what’s going on on your end and also to have the power tbh and like not play games because that’s just gonna be a mindfuck for everyone and eventually pretty inevitably lead to drama and hurt feelings. The gf might not be around by the time you move there, you don’t actually have the be friends with any of them, but this way you’re being positive and constructive rather than yk confusing which is what they’ve already accused you of being. And like they’re very confusing themselves but maybe also confused so just unconfuse this whole situation with a dose of transparency.

[cozycryptidcutie]

Two girls right? They are best friends. One day one of them starts just like being annoyingly flirty, it’s taken as like teasing and became just a silly thing she does that’s normal. Like they’ll idk be play fight wrestling idk it’s a random thought that popped into my head or like more accurate to say they’re playing keep away with her phone. Their one guy friend is like “well as much as I’d like to see how this ends…” gestures to how close the two girls are “I have a meeting I have to go to” liek idk for a club? And like girl b is like 😉😏 to girl a

Girl A is like “ugh why do you keep doing that?”

Girl b is like “cuz we get married in the future”

Girl A not believing her in the slightest is like “uh huh very funny and how would you know that?”

Girl B is like “cuz I’m from the future and as much as I like the backstory of us being friends for years and then getting close after you break up with (their one guy friend) after you realized you’re gay, I think I like the idea of just messing with you now and then maybe we could skip the whole dating (their one guy friend) for 7 years”

Which is a ridiculous story. It has to be a joke. But trees so much detail in what they said. It makes girl A start getting more conscious of girl Bs presence and their actions. Always always doing little things for her without being asked. And starting to get flustered more at her flirting instead of annoyed. Making her think…. She might be gay. Until one day girl A is like “why don’t you try to make me date you? Instead of just flirting with me as a joke”

Girl is like “who said I’m joking?”

Girl A is like “you know what I mean”

Girl B is like “well no spoilers but…. You really like our anniversary date. It holds a big place in your heart and you said that I’m glad I can be apart of that meaning too… so when it gets close to that date I’ll be sure to woo you 😉”

WHICH SOUNDS SUPER SPECIFIC AND NOT LIKE ANJOKE AT ALL???

[xangareplaced]

Saturday, January 28, 2023

Idk how to feel again. I’ve been in a funk this week and I’m really just exhausted from it. Last week, I was super excited to throw myself back into the dating game or at least flirting. And this week, I’m barely giving effort to respond back to people. I want to feel motivated, excited, idk. Like I want to feel like I’m cared for, that someone wants to be around me, hug/touch me constantly. I want companionship and maybe meaningful conversation. Someone I could talk to about literally anything without judgement or awkwardness. It doesn’t have to be serious. Not yet at least. I mean ideally I’d like to grow in a relationship with someone, but who knows if I’m even ready for that right now. I know I want it, and that it’s totally achievable. I just, idk man. I’m so in my head and in my feels but I can’t even fucking describe it. It was just so nice at the end of last year to fucking have a crush and be infatuated with the thought of that. It was nostalgic really. Of how it used to be, how my “friendliness” was flirty and worked on those I imposed it on.

I’m in this weird place of like, do I just give up on even trying or do I just hoe out and fuck anyone and everyone that shows even the slightest interest in me?

I’ve got maybe two things on my mind: one being that I’m tryna hit up an old fwb to do things with and two, am I just vibing with this other person I know through work that has very similar upbringing and interests as me or am I just hoping that because we’re so similar this could be the start of something new? But we’ve also super friendzoned each other so who knows.

Tbh, idk where this post was going to lead me or what I was really trying to convey here. I think I just needed to braindump or word vomit honestly.

Until my next emotional rant, ✌🏽

[restartingthisifirelapse]

day 1 (tw: self-harm)

i don’t know why i’m doing this. part of me thinks i just want attention. idk. i want something tangible i guess. something i can actually lose the next time i mess up. cuz right now it’s like “oh nothing bad will happen”. i know that’s wrong, but i can’t convince myself of that.

i fucked up really bad last night. i was almost at a year clean. i was so proud of myself damn. the thing was too, i was having such a damn good day. we went to see the nutcracker, like a professional one. typically we would go to this children’s production, which is good in its own right, but damn this one was so impressive.

and everything with my family was so good too, you know? nobody was upset at me, nobody was being mean to me. i was having a good time with my brothers, my stepmom didn’t seem pissed off, my dad seemed chill. and then i fucked up.

it’s always stupid to see what ends up getting me. i’ve already been in a bad place, i just went through a rough breakup. (as i alter this and see my writing get confusing talking about two exes, i’ll call them percy.) rough in the way of i’m still in love with percy but they started being mean, and manipulative and confusing, so i broke up with them. that isn’t the whole story either, though. i was feeling lonely cuz percy wasn’t talking to me. another ex, i’ll say sunny, has been lowkey flirting with me throughout my entire relationship. but one night, when percy wasn’t talking to me, sunny just kept complimenting. it made me so flustered and i went to bed giggling. i can’t believe i did that to percy. i love percy, i really do, i care about them so much. and i fell asleep flustered, heart fluttering from somebody else. that was when i knew i had to break up with them, cuz now i’m the problem. i’m the asshole in this situation.

that was such an unnecessary tangent oh my god. i do that a lot. but regardless, that to say i was already feeling like shit. then my dad knocks on my door, and he’s really upset with me. i’ve been really busy recently, and my parents don’t know my schedule. up til now i’ve been too scared to drive, but recently with job opportunities opening up for me, i’ve been wanting to learn. less stress on my parents. my stepmom works mornings, and we have one car. i had to be at my place by 9am. and he was so upset. “i don’t want to have to wake up at 3 to drop of your stepmom to come back and take you to your thing at 9″. that’s what got to me.

one reason why i fell in love with percy was because of how thoughtful they are. we were friends before dating and i had been complaining to them about dishes, and they told me “yeah, i always feel so bad about not doing dishes cuz then my parents have to do them after work.” and i felt so embarrassed for how thoughtless i was, and i felt so in love with how thoughtful they were. and now i’m not even thinking about my parents’ sleep schedule. god i’m so awful. i’m a horrible person. maybe i shouldn’t have broken up with them.

a few minutes of tears later and suddenly i’m opening up my stupid tracker app because of an oopsie. i feel dumb about it though. not, like, horrifically stupid. that’s an upgrade and i’m proud of it. typically when this has happened before, i’d be so low. i’d just keep going, and going, for at least three days but usually a week. but now i don’t feel like that. now i just think “damn. now i gotta get it back up again.” i’m really proud of that.

i don’t have any, like, big big reason to not cut myself. i have tiny ones though. for one, obviously, it hurts. in the moment the hurt is so good, like that’s the whole point. shuts up the emotions and whatnot. but after the fact? when you’re trying to go through everyday life? when you’re taking a shower and the water hits the cut? it fucking stings, oh my god. and i used to love the sting, but now it’s the worst. like jesus.

another reason is, like, i have kids. not ones i birthed or adopted, but i teach. and i have little brothers. my stepmom told me when she found out “how would you feel if you found out they were hurting themselves?” it was so scary cuz, in the moment, i was so scared i wouldn’t care. but now i’m watching kids go through really bad moments of self-consciousness, and i just want to hug them and make sure they’re never hurting again. i’m supposed to believe that somebody feels that way about me. i’ll get there someday.

also, i’m a gamer lmao. i’m a kind of person who wants to beat my high score. i can’t wait for when i get to 226 days this time.

so, yeah. i want to make this blog so i can have something i know i can lose. i’m a writer too. typically, if i write something i’m proud of, i want to save it in my notes. if i write something like this, like a journal entry type deal, i want to save it in my notes to look back on. i’m not going to save anything until i get to a year. i don’t want to save anything, so that way i won’t want to delete anything. i don’t know. hopefully it works. no copy paste for me.

but yeah. wish me luck lmao.