#like idek if they exist
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#femboii#sfw femboy#he him#im pretty#trans femboy#trans ftm#transmasc#minor#im a dude#maid cafe#bro i wanna actually go to one so bad#like idek if they exist#ima look em up
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In a world full of darkness and hopelessness you created something beautiful. People who can do that live forever.
#reita#the gazette#yeah i will never be over him#i was thinking what to put in the desc#like... i never knew hum personally but the fact he existed changed my life for the better in so many ways#and it is still so unreal to me that he is... gone.#i found so much solace in their music i know i kinda abandoned this blog but god knows my mp3 player is full of tG live rips#i've been rewatching their lives recently and looking forward to MASS. and then... this. i can't imagine how his family feels. and the band#idek anymore. may he rest in piece. i have no words. heaven couldn't wait with this one.
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Lazy redraw of a drawing (that I deleted you dont need to see it) from whenever the pregnancy update came out ... (+ full)
Also it's been officially a year now since I first played DoL!! Milestone or something !
#(I still need to make nice drawings of the other characters too.. they exist in my sketchbook but i dont like posting just sketches..)#i only started posting dol art in april and not that much but i originally played it on winter break for uni and got fixated like right awa#figuring how 2 romance kylar (the reason i played at first too cause canon yandere yay!) and then others and then just continuing to play..#its so fun and i like exploring everything all over again each time it updates hehe#kylar the loner#dol#degrees of lewdity#1am-yan#the original version of this picture was so dogwater btw. the redraw isnt crazy better but idek what was up the style was so weirdd#tw scars#jic#kylar#endo.art();
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- IM A MAGIC MAN -
Betty and magic man art!!!! Cuz!!!! Look me in the eyes and fuckin TELL me these two were not a fucked up / death spiral / make each other worse duo… you CANNOT!!! THEY ARE THE SAME!!! THEY UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER!! IN A WAY NO ONE ELSE POSSIBLY COULD… and! I just rlly wanted to draw them ghghg- cuz! I think there whole thing is interesting! Complicated as hell! Yes! But also interesting! Also made an extra meme thing w em too:
#adventure time#betty grof#magic man#normal man#king man#at magic man#adventure time magic man#doodles#THIS GUYS FUCKING NAME… bane of my existence…#I wanna like. scour the internet for any old fan content of him but it’s SO DIFFICULT… cuz of his stupid fucking name!!!#but uh. yeah anyway… THESE TWO ARE SO INTERESTING TO ME IM SORRY#cinematic parallels… they are dealing w the same fucking shit.#they can see themselves in each other… but they hate themselves…#it paradoxically makes them both viscous w each other yet also having this solidarity and understanding!!!#and I love that!!!!!#i wanna kno wtf they were doing together when they weren’t on screen!!!! how did they meet!!! what got them to first work together!!!#it’s so interesting!!!! I kno I keep repeating that but it’s cuz it’s true ghfh-#ignore the lil bar at the bottom of the meme image it’s from my phone ghg#I guess they probably first met and stuff cuz of Betty’s research into wizards and stuff actually.. that mystery has been solved ghgh#but STILL… I wanna… I want more of them interacting they like scratch an itch in my brain idek how to describe it ghg#also if… any of the words or tags in this post make no sense… it’s cuz I wrote all this after drawing for like 8 hours straight..#also I refused to turn my music off while trying to write which. didn’t help ghgh-#I stand by the fact that these two have an extremely interesting dynamic that I want to see more ppl talk about tho!#I just. feel there’s a chance I probably didn’t articulate my thoughts on it well on account of my brain being mush ghghg#also n regards to the ‘make each other worse’ thing. I actually think after U Forgot Ur Floaties magic man is actually trying to help Betty#he just fucking sucks at it gHG- but he is trying!#I kinda think betty is trying to be nice to him too honestly… like even tho bringing up trying to save margles is actually SUPER fucked up#I think it IS betty trying to be nice to him.. like ‘ur my friend! I’m gonna save my guy. we can fuckin save ur guy too…’ like!!!#these 2 are both trying to be helpful in there own ways but they both are fucking dog shit at it ghgh-
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Kenny and Violet anon here YES.
Violet is upset because someone she defended against her found family of 8 years let her get taken by brainwashing adults for 2 seconds and everyone flips their lid.
But Kenny refuses to stop a train, and gets into a whole fight with Lee over it (AND REFUSES TO HELP YOU FIND A LOST LITTLE GIRL WHILE YOU’RE FIGHTING OFF AN INFECTION, where as Violet always defends you in Episode 1 regardless of whether you ignored and/or antagonized her or not), and gets mad at an 11 year old for not being able to handle helping someone in labor by herself and everybody’s like “Nah it’s okay, his family died years ago so he gets to do whatever he wants.” as if Violet didn’t witness one of the only consistent family members in her life die in front of her 💀
There’s so many comparisons I could make and one day I’ll make a Venn Diagram about all of their similarities but for now I’m glad someone pointed this out.
there are some things kenny does that have No excuse (like refusing to help bitten lee look for missing clem all because hes mad you didnt side with him enough. leaving lee to singlehandedly save himself in the pharmacy because he got scared. threatening to slap clem for blaming herself for lees death. off the top of my head). but his behavior on the train is annoying yet understandable. he doesnt want to admit his son is dying and he feels like duck dying in the first place is his fault for not saving shawn. you can convince him to stop without things getting physical
the Problem comes in when people can understand and sympathize with kennys annoying/shitty actions, but when it comes to violet (who has the same "my family is dead and its made me bitter and closed off" backstory (and her whole arc is about learning to love and care again)), suddenly all understanding goes out the window. even tho shes not even a FRACTION as annoying and shitty as kenny can get 😭😭
violet is mean to clem for the One scene where youre introduced to her (ignoring your first moment with her in the courtyard where shes smiling at clem so you already know her shitty attitude later is a lie. louis even defends her. wingman lol. and depending on what you say in response to her you can Immediately see the regret on her face LOL). but before the scene even Ends shes complimenting clem and clem loves it. then youre forced to talk to her and tenn about the twins, you have a nice card game where you can joke around with her, then she shows up at the dorm and they have a nice heart to heart about how theyre BOTH struggling with the loss of people theyve loved, and they can sympathize about both being harsher than they intend (THEY GET EACH OTHER CANONICALLY)
and vi not being "a people person" is a huge part of her arc?? she doesnt like that shes like this 😭 but shes also better with people than she gives herself credit for and its why she makes a good leader. (and even if you pick the "came off strong" option clem is OBVIOUSLY teasing about it but vi cant tell and gets defensive ("its not like im trying to be bffs or whatever. sorry" is so "you want to kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid" of her)
and then after this shes never mean to clem again?? (unless you antagonize her but even then its mostly just about her standing her ground and not taking shit she doesnt deserve. which is fair). shes only mean to brody while fishing (and shes mean to brody because deep down she blames HERSELF) and the whole POINT of that scene is to try and mend their broken relationship which immediately makes vi a happier/nicer person if you do (also interesting how louis doesnt get any shit for His behavior while hunting 🤨 no hes just cool and fun). violet also apologizes for being "weird" in the dorms the previous night as well (bby girl why are you afraid that everything you do is weird 😭 she says that word a lot)
violet will Always have clems back (in EP1 and 2!!) No Matter What you do or say to her. i think people take her loyalty for granted. so if you dont save her in EP2 and expect to continue to have her unwavering loyalty in EP3? thats a You problem. she is Fucked Up mentally on that boat by lilly and her not-exactly-ex, and then gets caught in the explosion she didnt want anything to do with. AND THEN SHE APOLOGIZES because she recognizes she was WRONG
(not her literally trying to make a joke about it to ease the tension 😭 people dont give her credit for also having a sense of humor. like louis is the only one who cracks jokes around here) but again when it comes to kenny his actions are understandable and defendable even without an apology 🙄 i literally side with kenny on Everything except the larry thing and if you dont make the right dialogue choice with him? he will not help you look for clem. because of larry 😐 i killed your son for you bro and then took care of his walker doppelganger so you didnt have to. and this isnt even touching his behavior in S2. and yet despite everything he does hes still one of the most beloved characters in the fandom 🤨
i just have to remind myself sometimes that all vi options were made 53-61% and the vi haters are a loud minority. her always being above 50% is so interesting to me because i love when choices are split perfectly 50/50. but the way the fandom talks about her (and the women in general) you wouldnt think shes technically the more popular option (and i Hate playing the popularity card its so annoying, but im only doing it bc people also say shit like "maybe if vi wasnt so mean more people would pick her" they DO pick her!!! you just got mad she was mean for 5 seconds, never payed attention to her again, and used her determinate reaction on the boat as justification for not liking her 😑) (also ignores how mean louis gets in EP2 regardless of choice?? but like kenny His actions are defendable and sympathetic and hers arent 🙄)
#again just in case people cant tell I LIKE ALL OF THEM they are all interesting characters!!! but some of you only give grace to the men#vi i will defend you until i die because Someone has to#why do people hate and even want to kill the women in this game so bad 😭 its so weird#im literally just asking yall to Not hate her so vehemently when you LOVE male characters who do the same or much worse#its just weird all the excuses that exist for the men but when its a woman? shes just a bitch. why do the men get to be bitches 😐#the game is Intentionally very even between vi and louis' reactions but for some reason hes defendable/sympathetic and shes not#someone pretty much ended up proving my point on my last ask about this without even realizing it 💀#but i didnt even know where to begin. so i was so glad to get this ask almost immediately after hdskfjkd#also the numbers im using are TFS numbers not DE numbers. ive noticed the DE numbers are fandom skewed idek what they are for S4#i dont think i have much more to say about this and im afraid the men only defenders are gonna start coming out of the walls#i love you fucked up women of twdg :)#if anyone tries to defend the male characters on this post im gonna lose it. they dont need your help!!!#replies with lexi#incognito#twdg
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Osha, 2nd day of being in Qimir's cave:.. I wanna go home
The teacher: this is your home now
Qimir: home is where the heart is
Darth Plagueis peeking through the entrance: stay a little longer, you've barely touched your Qimir.
Osha: this s**t is exactly why I wanna go home
The teacher mentally blocking out Plagueis: eat your soup, you can't train on a empty stomach
Osha: .... I'm going crazy ain't I?
#the acolyte#qimir#qimir fighting qimir#oshamir#qimir the acolyte#qimir the teacher#idek give me the acolyte season 2#darth Plagueis the strange neighbor no one likes#osha is tired of their neighbor#qimir just ignores his existence
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hmmm when will the constant feeling of "I did something wrong, people hate me, I should be so embarrassed and die about it" end? real tired of that tbh
#like idek what exactly i have supposedly done wrong! brain! why!?#as if my entire existence is embarrassing and wrong somehow and i should definitely die about it or something. ugh.
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Why aren't Milevens and Bylers on the same level of "May the best man win" as like, Elmax and Lumax/Mucas when it comes to shipping
yall are so peaceful you have ELUMAX.
#why did we go to actual war#like.#what's the difference#i get that eller can't exist because that's... theyre siblings. yuck.#but STILL WHY ARE WE SO GRR#idek man#sleepyposting#stranger things#will byers#mike wheeler#byler#mike x will#will x mike#max mayfield#eleven hopper#elmax#max x eleven#eleven x max#lucas sinclair#mucas#lumax#lucas x max#max x lucas#elumax
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tie him up and don't let him go.
#there is SO MUCH CONTENT from this fanmeet#idek where to stop#like there is a whole video to this (which I cant find rn but it exists)#kiseki dear to me#kiseki: dear to me#louis chiang#jiang dian#taiwanese bl#chiang tien#natlouis#taiwanese actors#kdtm fanmeet#kdtm cast
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I have no idea why but Karasu thoughts are eating at my brain rn
@someprettyname a little help??
#gah#he's so#idek#HDUSNAKHSNZKSKAMZSJO#like i want to focus on the bluelock plot i really do and i do most of the time#but then some guys exist and my mind goes blank#the some guys being rin karasu and kaiser#literally the only thing common between them is that they're all pretty boys who would either judge me silently#or roast the heck out of me#rin itoshi#michael kaiser#karasu tabito
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the pandora hearts au as promised LOLL
im gonna guess this au makes 0 fucking sense unless u’ve read ph but u can read my 4am summary under goodluck
its the glen and child of ill omen situation between mykr, with kuros red eyes it was honestly kind of perfect. they were all part of this fancy victorian academy, and are known as the class that mysteriously disappeared some hundred years ago, and its bc of nana. maya does the succession thing and tosses clau into the abyss and everything falls apart. nana is devastated and pulls a xerxes to get an audience with the will of the abyss. she creates for her a chain, the Prince, that lets her rewind back to the day of the succession, and drag all of her classmates into a dimension where time rewinds from the start of the yr to the succession. naturally at somepoint hikaris like “where is my childhood bestie karen :(” and she goes looking for her. and before long she’s able to infriltrate into nana’s dimension. shit goes down from there
im thinking like they eventually do all get out of the dimension, but at the cost of maya staying behind. mykr have this ouughgg super dramatic like “I find you again, promise you’ll wait for me” parting while claudine is getting dragged towards the light and everythings crumbling around them and maya just looks up at her super emo and promises. they land back in the normal world a few hundred years into the future, and then its claudines Get her gf back quest
#revue starlight#mayakuro#my art#tendo maya#saijo claudine#pandora hearts#man this is incoherent#honestly idek if this sort of time travel is allowed in the canon#or if someone who gets their ass judgemented like the children of ill omen can exist again#if i remember correctly i think they get like super exploded and nothing of them remains#omg also the time logistics#its all ok tho i just want mykr to be angsty#but who knows i might rework this more#theyre definitely more og oswald/jack/lacie gang sooo i might be able to do something with baby elle?
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ppl who have dated, been flirted with, had their first kiss, have had sex so on and so forth are so mean and condescending to ppl who are ugly and have never experienced that. im 25yrs old and have never even been kissed or flirted with or asked on a date. ppl recoil when they accidentally touch me. ofc i have no self esteem or confidence and feel repulsive and unloved. and you as a person who have had ppl flirt with you and WANT to touch you have no idea what that feels like and how that fucks up your self image
#and i have rape fantasies even if i hate rape and it makes me feel sick#just bc i am so fkn repulsive i cant ever imagine anyone wanting to touch me#sigh theres no reason for me to write an essay dissecting that but#it makes me feel sick bc i hate it and i dont want to#and those fantasies dont even make me feel good i just feel empty and sad#but idk. it really is fucking insane to have gone so long having been unwanted#and i cant even imagine someone being in love with me#or looking at me and finding me pretty#or wanting to treat me kindly and gently#that is incomprehensible to me#i cant imagine anyone wanting to kiss me just bc im me and they love me#but i can imagine someone finding me good enough to get off using even if im rlly fkn ugly 💔💔#anyway i just.. it makes me so mad lmao#that ppl who know what it feels like to be wanted have no understanding at all#ofc i hate myself. ofc i think im ugly. ofc i have low self esteem. u could never get it ..#but tbh i dont think love exists generally and i dont think most ppl experience love#everything is just abt being able to use others so like... idk tbh#like idk.. i dont think most ppl are human#is it really love to find someone pretty and wanting to use them? is it really that great to be so pretty that ppl wanna use u?#i dont think genuine connection and love exist among most ppl anyway so does it even matter in the end?#sigh now idek what the fuck im talking abt anymor#anymore*....
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I don’t want to go anywhere else I like it here. I like yall it’s so rare to feel any sense of community in fandom. I just always feel like I’m fucking up whenever I’m in discord it’s so overwhelming and I feel like I never say the right thing. My impulse is always the wrong one etc etc
#but that’s where everyone is now#like. I feel like I’ll get left behind otherwise#the pace is so fast#I’m having fun guys I promise#and I’m like. having such a crappy time at work#its not you guys it’s the medium. I get so overwhelmed#it’s just making things worse in my brain#and I know I invented the clone torment nexus but also sometimes things get Too Torment Nexus but I feel like such an ASSHOLE when I get#precious about the clones. like they exist to be tormented and they’re a community exercise but I feel. confused#it’s like always fun to see when ppl are playing dolls w something that’s partially to do with me but. I feel like I’m just#I’m just There#idek#jan.txt#the problem is I. like. I feel like if I vent to any of you guys abt this one on one that’s shit talking and I don’t wanna do that#but I also can’t talk to my irl friends abt this bc they’re so weird abt me liking Starbreaker
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Constellations - 01/? (FFS Sequel, Efnisien + Gwyn)
Title: Constellations (Falling Falling Stars sequel re: Gwyn + Efnisien)
Rating: Mature
Tags: Contemporary, trauma recovery, men in therapy, references to BDSM relationships, past trauma recovery, complex family relationships, hurt/comfort, angst, historical child abuse, historical familial abuse, reconciliation, Gwyn's a stalker for five seconds
Summary: (Will make little sense if you haven't read Falling Falling Stars) It's been around ten years since the events of Falling Falling Stars, and Efnisien and Gwyn are living their respective lives, and haven't really been in touch since. Over time, Gwyn becomes more curious about his cousin, especially after learning something he hopes isn't true, and after seeing him by chance in a park, kicks off a series of events that helps create new opportunities for reconciliation, and discovering what it really means to be family.
Constellations - 01 - A Stalking Star (Gwyn + Efnisien reconciiliation) on Patreon ($10+ tiers)
In which Gwyn accidentally finds out that Efnisien may have been molested at Hillview, doesn't know how to deal with it, and then sees him by accident at a park and maybe just...keeps invisibly trying to watch him at that park during subsequent weekends, because he wants to get to know who his cousin really is and doesn't quite know how to be normal about it.
--
Will eventually go onto AO3! Not sure when. Posting a chapter once a month currently, similar to The Nascent Diplomat
#chapter update#pia on patreon#constellations#falling falling stars#efnisien ap wledig#gwyn ap nudd#idek how to tag this#found family#but also healing family relationships#it's so wild and scary to be posting this dsklfjsda#also thanks to the folks on patreon for making like my entire writing job possible#and to everyone else for being enthusiastic enough to make the patreon possible even if you can't be there fsdlakjsa#these stories really wouldn't exist without you all
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Darth Plagueis looming over Osha: ...Osha... Osha... Come to the dark side... We... Have... Qimir....
Osha waking with a start and screaming: WHAT THE F*********K
Qimir running in: what happened? Did your wound open again?
Osha pointing to Plagueis: your creepy neighbor is here again.
Qimir: we don't have a neighbor? That's the whole point of an abandoned island.
Darth Plagueis: that's it Osha... Now sleep with him... Make me grand children....
Osha:... I really want to go home now.
Qimir:
#the acolyte#qimir#oshamir#qimir the acolyte#qimir fighting qimir#qimir the teacher#qimir the stranger#idek give me the acolyte season 2#qimir is oblivious to darth Plagueis#darth plagueis the strange neighbor no one likes#darth Plagueis is the biggest oshamir shipper there is#i actually dont know anything about darth Plagueis#qimir automatically blacks out darth Plagueis#osha is the only one who acknowledges his existence#osha is tired of their neighbor#qimir just ignores his existence
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Help
Why am I reading Wikipedia articles about post-structuralism and anti-humanism when I'm stupid-tired?
#personal#random#philosophy#sorta get the critique of humanism and human rights as being...intrinsically tied to Western colonialist culture#but I haven't got to a part that explains a better alternative yet#also I can personally relate to all the stuff about like...existence and truth and reality being irrevocably tied to and shaped by language#I'm a super verbal thinker (and I can't draw for shit) and I can't communicate any of my thoughts or experiences without words really#buuuuuut I'm pretty sure that's not true for everyone so idk how that works#let alone for people who are non-verbal?#also I'm like 50/50 whether I understand any of this or not#I frickin hated semiotics in my methodology class because the professor did not explain it well#and I'm pretty sure none of knew wtf he was talking about based on looking around the room at about a dozen similarly blank faces#just something about what painting the Forth Bridge forever meant idek#I was so burnt out at that point#grad school was a mistake#nvm
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