#like i've 100%ed it and i still couldn't tell you shit about it

[gender-euphowrya]

i love how vampire survivors is one of The most played games on steam and the devs keep trying to give it lore but it barely has any fandom content

[fettuccinewrites]

I AM HERE to give a fic review nobody asked for but i have no one else to talk about it

I have finished CWM couple hours ago and i've been obsessing over it ever since. Firstly would like to point out that cwm was already in my reading list and when i decided to start reading it after sending you that first ask i kept asking myself "why didn't i read it sooner?" cause i do have a severe case of love square brainrot and i have an unresolved passion with ice skating so why haven't i read that indeed.

Then I got the scene in which Adrien's ed is revealed and it was a big OH THAT'S WHY moment for me. I have been recovering from an ed myself for years and i try to avoid the topic because i dont think i'm there yet yk? ANYWAYS. That did make my reading take a little longer than planned, out of caution really, but nothing i couldn't handle (my therapist will be very proud). On that note, I would like to apologize for needing to skip some of the more in-depth ed related parts, but to also congratulate you on the way you handled the subject. I don't usually feel safe reading these type of stories, but cwm was an exception due to your writing and story telling skills.

MOVING ON cause i feel cringey talking about my ed but you really deserve the praise for this

It really is amazing how well you are able to sell rivals to lovers narrative. dymdc and cwm both had me invested in their rivalry. It didn't feel forced, the progression of the relationship had incredible pacing and the reasons behind were believable. Like, writing this trope is so hard because it's easy to fall in traps of the narrative – not making the rivalry strong enough or making it too strong and having to bullshit a reason to end it – but you do it SO WELL. LIKE. i actually don't have words, I keysmashed three times over this so yeah i guess that's what i have to say.

Something I would also like to point out: the choice of performances. bruh. You matched the characters vibes to the choreographies so well. Like I know nothing about the fem skater from the 2010 phantom of the opera but I can see Lila so clearly in her expressions that makes me want to punch her in the face. The way the snake dance has Kagami's seriousness and precision and Luka's edge and style. *chefs kiss*

Now on the note of Moulin Rouge for Adrienette, i feel like keysmashing is not enough i need to bark. The way the story of the performance is a parallel to their relationship AND andrien's condition. Part of me thought he was going to die. I lost cound how many times I cried while reading this and I wish I could have recorded the way i GASPED when they came in twelfth. Had me shaking and tearing up ngl.

The one thing i did not understand tho was why Marinette kept that Gabriel remade their costumes a secret. Like I get Adrien making his piece with the relationship with his bio father, and deciding not to pursue one with him anymore, but Marinette not telling him felt a little shady for me. Maybe I missed something, but I don't think that shutting that door was up to her. I like the ending for Gabriel and Adrien, but idk maybe i just don't like that Marinette kept it a secret from him.

Alright I think I've said enough for one ask holy shit look at the size of this so i'm gonna stop it here. I think I said everything I wanted to say, but if I remember anything else – and I'm still welcome in here –i'll come back to dump more unrequited opinions.

Thank you so much for sharing your amazing work with us 🧡

omg! thank you!! one thing about me is i LIVE for long comments, particularly about cwm (my forever favorite story) so you are always welcome

i figured the ed parts would be difficult for some people to read, so they are 100% skippable & i’m glad you were able to take advantage of that and still enjoy the story ❤️

i love that you actually went and looked up the performances bc i just feel like it enhances the reading experience so much??? moulin rouge felt like the ONLY choice for them, i am soooo glad the parallels were noticed bc it was very much my intention :)))))

re: costumes… really just needed to wrap up that plot line and didn’t know how else to do it haha. I’d spent far too long on it already, and thought of it as like a parting gift kinda thing? A was done with G so (in my head) she didn’t see a reason to tell him, i guess. 🤷🏻‍♀️

anywayyyyy always happy to talk cwm! or writing! or dymdc! or anything else <3333

[richierambles]

my opinion on IT ships

what??? richie tozier himself is giving hys opinion on getting shipped with his friends??? more likely than you think ;3 basically i was bored and currently procrastinating switching out so our academic can study (hate my life get me back to derry yall</3) BUT ANYGAY XD here we go ✨✨✨

Reddie: 7/10 I have a complicated opinion on this one. The fandom loves it, and as a concept? Sure it's fucking awesome. BUT. I've had a Bad experience dating an Eddie fictive, I won't say much besides that our old host (hate his ass) basically forced me into that relationship just bc he shipped reddie and that caused a shit ton of trouble 😃 But anygay I still ship it as long as I myself am not part of the relationship XD (I'm. actually writing a reddie fic rn. XD)

Stenbrough: 7.5/10 Another fandom favorite! The way I see it, they'd be sweet af. Like, healthiest relationship ever been. What's wrong with it then? The same thing as reddie, Belle (our Bill fictive, mtf, she/her, misgender and/or deadname her and imma be after your ass<3 and not in the MrsK way) got forced into a relationship with a Stan fictive, but it went So Much Worse than mine for some reason TwT And welp I still ship it but kinda eh-ish (the 0.5 it has more than reddie is bc im not in the ship XD)

Benverly: 6/10 I need y'all to know, I'm talking about IT 2017, not about the adult Losers. Adult benverly get a 9/10 at least, but teen benverly? I don't see it. I don't think bev is ok enough to have a healthy relationship, and I'm pretty sure they'd end the same way as most highschool sweethearts - breaking up. Though, I'm pretty sure they'd be sweeter than stenbrough for the time they lasted

Billverly: 3/10 1. POOR BEN????😭 2. In my exomemories they actually tried it and broke up (in good terms) like 2 months later so- nah they don't work XD

Steddie: 9/10 Stan x Eddie not the ST one 💀 our system's steddie are dating, another system's steddie are ALSO dating, and I can tell you they're a super healthy and sweet relationship. Basically the best one, but the fandom doesn't almost make content of them which sucks ass 🥲

Stan x Richie (idk the ship name 😭): 8/10 YES. I remember having crushed on Stan for So Much Time. Like. Not as much time as crushing on Eds (nor that big of a crush) but almost there. Stan is just so pretty ok XD

Bike: 2/10 2 points just because of the ship name, Mikey is aroace and I'll die on that hill<3

Bill x Eddie: 5/10 If we're talking about the book? Fuck yeah. If we're talking about the movies? Fuck no.

Bichie: 10/10 This is just because of my half-requited crush on Belle. Literally just because of that. I don't even make/read content of it. I've just been crushing on her for like 9 months that's the entire reason for this ship 😭

Connor x Richie: 0/10 No. Nothing else to say. Connor, at least in my exomemories, was a fucking ass and doesn't deserve me<3

Poly Losers Club: 1/10 We're Friends, poly feels weird 😭 how would even a polycule of Seven people work??😭 (no offense to people who are in polycules just. too many people with too many different sexualities. i can't see it XD) I'll still admit, I've consumed content of it just because I couldn't find what I was looking for in the other ships' tags TwT

Platonic Beverly x Richie: 100/10 PLATONIC, romantic would be weird af but PLATONICALLY dating Bev is awesome she's the best<3 (If anyone's curious, yes I'm platonically married to our system's Bev XD)

If y'all wanna see my opinions on any other ship, just ask! Or on anything else tbh, I love rambling about my source XD

[0-cal-princess]

I think my friend is cutting me off cuz she found out about my eating this order so I'm gonna complain and moan about it 🍓

So basically you wanna cut me off after nearly 4 years of friendship because I got a little too silly and developed an ed??? Even after everything we been thru together??? Girl what the fuck. I never fucking judged you for the dumb ass shit you do even when I knew you were 100% in the wrong. You have no fucking right getting on your high horse calling me sick, saying I need help and that I'm doing something wrong when you partake in equally self-destructive behaviors, what the fuck??? I literally was there for you when your life was falling apart (which was 100% preventable if you just stayed put and did things the right way like i fucking told you but oh well), drying your tears and holding your hand because i love you and i care for you no matter what you did so it really fucking hurts me to see you ghosting and avoiding, and treating me all dry. I understand it was my fault for being honest and transparent with you about my issues but you're literally my best friend??? Like i've never opened up to anyone like I have with you, that's why i felt comfortable telling you about my bulim1a. i never expected you to react the way you're reacting and it honestly really fucking hurts my feelings. Ik you're going thru a lot but if you dont like me anymore you can just use your big girl voice and fucking say it to my face instead of ghosting me and treating me badly. we are fucking adults so why dont you act like one???? I never fucking offended you, or body shamed you, or said anything about your weight so why are you telling ME im losing too fast and obsessing over it??? you could have just kept your mouth shut and let it go like I do every time you talk to me about some dumb ass shit you do. anyways your fucking loss i guess, thanks for being my friend and im sorry we broke it off this way i hope nothing but the best for you and i really hope you work on your issues, i will strive to do the same

my friend confronted me about my ed and then ghosted me after telling her it wasn't that deep. I feel like a fool for spamming her phone trying to get a response out of her. ig i'll wait another day then i will text her the classic "did i do something wrong :(" typa shit. i just wanted to vent cuz i cant get it out of my head. it bothers me so fucking much like sis what the fuck since when are you the moral authority??? but anyways

I broke my purge-free streak yesterday and it wasn't fun. I couldn't even purge it all cuz it got to the point where i gave myself a horrible headache so i just let it be. I think i will go over my cal limit today as well so yay aint it fun?? I feel like somebody beat the shit out of me, i still have a pounding headache, my chest feels like somebody punched the shit out of it, i have no energy and my throat is fucked. Im also very dumb so i weighed myself and got spooked so I took some laxs as if my life is not miserable enough yaay for me. Never purging again in my fucking life (that's a lie). anyways thanks if you read it all, stay skinny ladies <3

[homiro]

Medical Emergency

The only vetting this has is my own word.

Begging is always embarrassing and I hate to be doing it again. I need around 100 euros. That's it. I won't ask for any safety net extra amount.

I'm a mentally ill, adhd, autistic (diagnosed), intersex, trans person from the Mediterranean. I have lived my whole life in poverty, enduring abuse, and a bunch of things I really didn't want to get into, but include being exposed to criminal acts and forced to commit criminal acts, too, and SA. I live with CPTSD and can't find a job and only do sporadic freelance gigs that pay very little. And I had one that I submitted in June and have not been paid for yet.

I need money to go therapy, medication, and to pursue my education, which is the only thing I have, really. I never had the luxury of having dreams of anything and only found light in pursuing academic achievements. Before I started my degree, I spent my life until I was 18 thinking I would spontaneously die when I turned 18 because I couldn't stand being alive and that helped me have peace of mind. Since that obviously didn't happen, my mental health started rapidly getting worse and shit along the way made it even worse.

I asked for help yesterday sort of but maybe because my ugly face was attached to it nobody cared. I'm just in a bad mental space and asked for support in the stupidest way possible. I really need just around 100 euros, or I will be unable to get my prescription refilled and go to therapy. It is that expensive. Check the price tag on Ritalin. And I take more shit, including Risperidone. And not only that, the session is in another city and I have to take public transportation to go there and that's another 10 euros, plus the ride fare to go there because it's in a remote, well, mental health asylum, that is far from the city centre and there are no buses that go there because then it would be too easy for patients to escape. I was referred to that place because my mental illnesses are really not just a little bit of anxiety and distraction. I'm not even counting food money here. I have an ed and the wild anxiety I've been in in the past week thinking about this session has made me almost unable to eat. Especially because I also have had to forcibly taper off the anxiety medication to have some and avoid, well, dying. As much as I'm suicidal, I can't die because of my family and the friends who still care about me for some reason.

I'm really nothing but a burden, but well, for the sake of my family, especially my brother who would be destroyed if I did something irreversible, consider helping me if you can. I guess I have no choice but to say it how it is even if it sounds like a shitty sob story told a million times.

I'm scared shitless of going to that asylum, which doesn't help, but I don't have money for private therapy so I need to subject myself to this shit in order to stay alive. And I am a translator and proofreader. But freelance. I haven't seen a cent for my work since June. I translated a whole book and am translating another with nothing but the public library and a PC that takes over an hour to book and over half an hour to open MSWord. I know this isn't the right therapy for me because I'm so scared of this asylum (there are horror stories and the place is located on top of a mountain) and can't trust the therapist fully, but I need to go there or I won't get my prescriptions and well, I am in danger, but I can't tell that to the shrink, or I'll be immediately made to stay there and last time I was there I was already scared and feeling this intense awful energy in those hallways and even around it. I was fucking crying even before I stepped inside. But again, I have no choice and I need this money by tomorrow so that I can have it available to use on Wednesday. It needs to be paypal because stripe takes one week or something to let you use the money.

Coffee is /silverfurioso. There's more info on my carrd.

Please, if you can, I'm begging. I need my medication and I'm a fucking broke loser who can't find a stable job. All I get are small gigs here and there but that doesn't even cover half the meds I need and it's so sporadic, I can only pay for half of it every other month. I've locked my inboxes because last time I asked for help and advertised my services, I got spam and a scamming attempt from someone who wanted to pay with a check and could only "help USAmericans". Which I obviously am not. And that was the stupidest fucking scam attempt I've ever seen.

And I know that some people need money more than me and understand if this lands nowhere. I am aware that I have no voice and no platform and nobody in my corner to speak up and have support if I get in trouble for opinions. But I need to try anyway.

Thanks in advance and if you can't help, thanks if you read this.

[gonzogodzilla]

Anyway I'm simultaneously feeling the most mentally stable AND fucked up that I have in a long time. And I know why, the fucked up part is that I'm falling into old destructive patterns to feel like I have some sort of control over my life. Which is why I actually feel SO much more secure and stable, I've channeled the instability into a "controlled" pain.

Now the pain is that comfy old friend ED. She's a bitch. I know exactly what I'm doing and I will not tell anyone, not even my therapist. And I know that's psychotic, I know that's wrong. I'm aware of exactly what I'm doing.

It doesn't help that it started because one of my many glorious mystery chronic illness symptoms lately has been nausea. So I was eating less because of that, and then that empty feeling tickled a part of my brain and here we are. Today I've eaten... well honestly not technically nothing but none of it was a real meal. Mostly coffee and beer (beer has calories, is that a win?).

Its amazing how much more quickly my body reacts to abuse than it did as a teen. I think it's been like a month of this garbage and my hair is already fucked and brittle. I mean I guess I haven't been eating well for a while, it's just taken a severe dip recently. (I have never been good at eating when I live alone).

It's actually fascinating to watch? In like a really fucking morbid way. Do most people who do this shit know it's awful? I'm led to believe they're all in denial. I 100% know it's wrong and bad for me and all of that. I know it's not sustainable. I know it'll end in madness. I know it could very well eventually kill me.

I guess it's like smoking. You do it knowing literally all of the risks, and you just sort of assume it won't happen to you? Or hope. Or I mean maybe you subconsciously DO hope it'll happen to you. Do I really want to live another 40 years? 50? My grandma is 73 this year, I'm 32 this year. Thinking about having that much time left makes me want to be throw up, how the fuck am I supposed to go another 40 fucking years? I'm not even at the half way point? Fuck.

I'm not sure if the people who think life is short are happier than me or if they just don't see it. I have lived 31 years, it's a lifetime. And I have at least that left? Another lifetime? Unbelievable. Fake news. Couldn't be me.

This is rambling and I'm still going to post it and no one is going to read it. And that's fine. I'm not even drunk, for once. I am fully and totally conscious. Is this an autistic thing? Do we just KNOW ourselves so well we can be totally in the midst of... madness and self-destruction and just... choose it? I don't know how else to handle being alive quite frankly. And if SLOWLY killing myself is the answer to not immediately checking out then quite frankly it's an easy choice.

I have no counter. I know it's bad. I know I shouldn't. But I'm going to anyway. Because as bad as it feels, I know it could feel worse. I know it could be just over with no do-over. At least this way there is a chance of coming out the other side. It's harm reduction. It's genuinely the least destructive.

Because honestly I want a cigarette so fucking badly these days. But I know it'll curb my appetite and then I'll not only be starving myself but I'll also be poisoning my body to boot. Somehow this is the better option, and that is genuinely astounding. It's like when my doctor told my mum that he would prefer her smoking actual cigarettes to vaping, because we KNOW the harm cigarettes do but we don't actually know enough about vaping.

I apologize for the block of text to anyone who is still active and follows me. I'm posting it. I'm not deleting it. I want this for my own future reference. I'm sure someday this will be informative? I don't even know know how else to explain it.

There has to be someone as crazy as me out there.

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Madonna knew about my work in Harlem and how i got the children off the street by pounding nails and giving them food.

She wanted a song for everyone in the world but to dedicate it to the most hard-working Construction man or woman out there on my team

I said "they're all hard working... Tho but i say Jess-- because i don't pronounce the T and they all look at me but i also say it in different ways because of my accent always changing depending who I've been talking to most I always pick up on it so its sometimes with a y sound or an I or an e or even the U. So what do you think about that?"

"Oh yeah that would work the Jessies. Now how do you wanna spell it. But i just wanted to do it with one So how about i drop the last s? Oh that will work, see look Jessie and no s"

Jessies to Jessie when its usually Jesse.

"Because the song is about one individual and we are all about individuality the last thing i want to do is sing about a group and jam them altogether. They're not plums, they're people. Yeah?"

"Yes!!!"

"But they're too hard working for what they get"

"But they get them a house"

"What they do?! None of them said that!"

"Its a surprise we keep track of their hours. 1,000 hours is a free house for their families. But i made a mistake in the beginning i had 3 kids and they worked 2,000 hours well almost 2225 actually and so i gave them two houses. But look the houses were really small and the kids were gonna have to share a bedroom, the two girls and they worked hardest so we just tore down a wall and gave them furniture -- for the girls because they did 1757.5 and then the boy and dad we just got them new beds and they kept the two kitchens. That was fun. One was old and not remodeled and the other was brand new, thats the way they wanted it said the girls so they could see how much work they had accomplished. Single dad. Raising 3 kids in the Bronx"

"Oh well that's not a mistake thats a blessing. And oh my those are Jessies i am going to think of them. Two girls i will say they're twins so in my mind one pregnancy and one child. Okay good. Don't tell me any different but when im done i want to meet what is real behind my inspiration!"

"Done deal!"

Madonna she made me cry a lot she is just so beautiful.

We did Harlem the most but we hit the Bronx, lower Manhattan, Brooklyn, Staten Island, even Central Park, Times Square. We went everywhere.

John Gray's mom worked in Manhattan as a nurse but they lived in Harlem. They both worked to earn a house after his mom got onto me about slave labor and we moved her into a brand new apartment complex in Lower Manhattan i had just bought halfway finished and used the same construction crew to complete. That was closer to the hospital and had better schools. Eventually they saved enough money and were able to fulfill their dreams to move back South.

1000 hours bought a house.

The kids that knew nothing or were clumsy had nails pounded in partially and they just had to finish pounding them in. Help carry and move things. We had older people and professionals that we didn't pay.

Grab and go breakfast like pastry or bagels, lunch of a sandwich and chips and dinner of the same. Water always and soda on the weekends. Juice at breakfast. If it lasted it did. No one left without a bag lunch even if they had just ate. We paid people to make food in an apartment. We called it "catered" Usually the real old ladies they worked in an assembly line. We paid them $5 per day plus they earned their full hours. But they needed pain meds just to keep up with the demand so we gave them the extra cash.

The lawyer Steve would shop and make sure all the names and hours and dates were recorded proper.

Some kids just went and ate. Steve would tell them they were thevies and had to work a half hour to not go to jail. And they would. He told them to buy the food they owed 6 hours per "plate" so they never bought it they just paid their time to stay out of jail because he was their lawyer and i was the judge. The cop was their guilt.

So we had a pretty sweet set up to get kids to buy houses through work.

We always printed a certificate on dot matrix printer and framed it and had them hang it in the houses near the door so they were always reminded who bought it and that good work is an honest living and its how you earn a good life.

We always know that 1000 hours will never buy a house and will barely pay the bills.

Yet it was Harlem and people were so poor and Ms Chen really got to me about that voting shit. How blacks couldn't vote till the 1965 law and how in the beginning of time no one could vote till they were a land owner.

So I said let's beat the government and haters and hypocrites!

Give not only the poorest but poorest blacks and let them know they can now vote!!! That's how we ended up on Harlem. Also I had seen the Harlem Globetrotters on TV and I thought a lot of people in Harlem were in wheelchairs -- Hey i may be reincarnated but I was only 5 and hadn't been to NYC to live since slavery was intact and even then it was a fee short years! i was from Detroit in my last life! And NYC was big!! I didn't know if they had a special section or what. My uncle dad laughed at me and took me to Harlem so we could see.

"Nope i don't see any wheelchairs. Will it still work for you?"

"Yeah let me talk to the people and we will see"

I talked to about 50 kids from the street and playground and about 10 adults. All the kids said they worried about money and their parents and the adults said things were okay but one who said it was rough but they were making it.

"Thanks for waiting these 3 hours. Well this is the place! Now excuse me for I must cry for all these kids"

This is why kids (and adults that touched my heart) got houses for only 1000 hours

Stingy Steve I called him... I wanted 100 hours but he said 1000 is more reasonable. He said 100,000 hours is more respectable and accurate but they were kids so 1000 hours was very respectable.

But because the children worried about money and places to live and about their parents.

We bought apartment complex after apartment complex. Renovated on kids labor and paid the children houses.

No one waa too young we had a one year old work with her parents. Usually I just babysat him when they both worked but usually they carried him ina sling... But if she had been sick or it was hot and sunny or they were carrying something they had been working on in, I got the baby.

I got some toddlers, too. They learned to drive nails like no one's business. Twin girls driving their momma nuts "can I just drop them here for a few? Its hot"

I got a panel of nail driving practice so I had them hammer it in Then look the other side to see they got it in Then hammer it out the other way.

The panel always had nails where the nails went in real work. So that in practice they got real location practice. They could see how if they nailed a nail or did a screw crooked how it would affect the work badly. The back side had the frame the panel went onto so they could see if it was a hit or miss.

Usually it was the sheet rock practice. But they had to practice screws also but we began with nails. Before the drill. Some kids had stole our drills so drills were practiced inside. But the dedicated kids got our drills back they knew who stole them.

So that day we had a graduation of Drill work and i got the practice panel back and i had me some toddlers.

Their mom was a lifter because she wasn't good on nails. She saw her babies missing from the shade so she came to look for us because sometimes i took them to the park but i always told her or left a note on my chair. And so she went to check and she saw me and they were behind the panel somewhat having lost interest and were pulling at the nails and feeling them and the board while my back rested

So momma learned to drive nails better because she could screw to assemble because Jesse would start the screws on counterwork and she would finish. So her and her babies learned alot that week.

We liked the kids to hang sheetrock because that was the building of a house. Then they would install plumbing and all that stuff. If we didn't have adults we had the kids build cabinetry. Or often had them build it together.

But we had professional craftsmen (construction workers and plumbers and electricians) teach the kids all the ins and outs of their new house so if any thing went wrong they could fix it.

So they did all the wiring and plumbing.

Id see kids walk out "i just installed a toilet!" I would see faces of disgust and amazement and pride and sometimes all at the same time. I would always applaud that, "you've installed your throne!"

That was the only thing they had to tell me about. Although i liked to hear about the sink. The toilet I had to hear about for my own amusement.

And because we would explain to them the history of toilets and so they would learn all about out houses before earning their toilets.

That is how they earned their materials. History and usually they had a small test. If they couldn't pass twice they had to come to me. Usually they were untrusting or shy so they would test in front of me and then I would say "i know you know that answer because when he read it to you your eyes lit up so what is in the back of your head behind your ear? That's the truth to the answer"

We had a lot of special education students. But they always earned their materials. Even if we took to dusk to help them learn it. There was a small handful I had to help especially because they had too much doubt or fear they were smart or educated. So I did a small class outside and did all their history tests with them. So then when it got to that material they then we're just read it again or talked about it or were asked what they remember most or their favorite information.

Eventually I had to go to the schools to talk to their teachers as to why they were in special ed. I wouldn't say their names but would say "a kid that says your he's teacher...."

Because one kid had memorized 3 pages of history word for word and had been in special ed for 3 years.

I got his mom to go with me on her off day after she saw and the kid "read" what he saw in his mind while the teacher read off the paper.

"Well he missed a few words he said "thee" not "thuh""

"Well that's an accent not a reading defect. He learned it from me allot. I'm English from England not from New York"

"Well we will have to take speech then"

"You can't. Its an accent. It's a way of speech. A dialect not a defect. Would you put Yosemite Sam in speech therapy?"

"Well you're stup--"

"Okay well I might be stupid or stup-eh-eh with your throat drowning out the sound of what you're going to say but you're not getting this kid out of special ed, not with your attitude"

"You're right. I'M NOT. I'M GETTING HIM OUT BECAUSE HE'S SMART AND MAYBE EVEN SMARTER THAN ALL OF US SITTING IN THIS ROOM RIGHT NOW. He could be the next Einstein and for what?!? Because he's black? Because he's Latino? I'm taking this to the school board. You're full of shit. Come on"

"No wait".

She took him out that very day. He went to Harvard and is now a Law Professor at Yale.

Y'all can do anything.

She got fired. Because I went to the principal who actually did complain as well and i went to the superintendent who knew nothing.

So i invited the school board to the streets of the Bronx. (Its where i started -- i was still trying to buy homes in Harlem) invited them to my table and had a list of kids that said they were in special education and had the superintendent and other school board members test them right Then and there.

She wasn't a bad person... She just wanted extra money for the school. But she was fucking with little kids heads and that wasn't right. That next school year special ed was less than half and they were the best testing school in the district.

Now i could say the same for Harlem but they tested out of NYC. They were in the Top 3 in the state.

I have an expert to update you on the rest of the success stories we have because we took the time to care and encourage as i hope you are all doing in homeschooling during Quarentine.

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster

Rio: [Picture of messy Nancy] Buster: Fuck's sake Buster: Is this gonna be my fault too, like? Rio: Nah Rio: Sure she could make a case but School is stressing her, got that info 'fore we got here so you're good Rio: How's your evening going, like Buster: Being hungover's really gonna help her ace all those classes but whatever Buster: I'll be the boring twin for the night again Rio: It's alright, we got it sorted before we went out Rio: she's helping me get my CV out Buster: Yeah? Buster: Proud of you, babe Rio: Maybe I'll work at the gay club, keep an eye on her Buster: The way she's going, someone needs to Buster: Maybe get off my back mum, you know Rio: She reckons the teachers don't really help her out now, since you know Rio: Idk if I should tell your Ma or if Nance will flip if I do Rio: I've told her to ask the others for help more Buster: We should tell her, she thinks she's failed me so she can claw some good parent points back Buster: But yeah, be careful 'cause Nance might not appreciate it as much as mum will Rio: Why does she think that? Buster: 'Cause I had to tell her how unhappy I was, you know, before Buster: So she'd cut us some slack now Rio: Ahh Rio: Yeah, imagine she wasn't buzzing to hear that Rio: I think Nance was okay but she wants to talk to you Buster: You're not wrong Buster: Well, I'll await the drunk texts then Buster: Always fun Rio: Yeah, leave it 'til she's sobered up and make her accountable, like Buster: Yeah Buster: So how drunk are you? Rio: Not even! Rio: How rude Rio: professional Buster: Just checking Rio: 😒 Rio: No faith, honestly Buster: Nance drives the best of us to join her drinking, that's all Rio: I mean, not being a nun about it Buster: Good to know Rio: Idk if I fuck with the vibe of this one anyway Rio: not to be a fussy bitch about it but you know Buster: You're a know-it-all that's your vibe, gotta trust it Buster: You'll find somewhere else Rio: Not that I can convince her to move on just yet Buster: It's like that then Buster: I see Rio: You know Rio: suppose I could leave her to it and pick her up like the 👵 I've become Buster: Ma life Buster: It don't sound like she'd mind though, so do what you want, babe Rio: 🙄 Rio: I'm bored Buster: Me too Buster: It's shit Rio: What are you doing Buster: I got talked into going to the literal worst house party I've ever been at Buster: I'm just gonna leave Rio: Ahh fun times Rio: People stop having house parties when you're out of school, which is weird because it's your house now like, you can do what you want Rio: is there not even decent booze to steal? poor boy Buster: 'Cause they're always shit and not worth the damage cunts are trying to cause to ease their boredom Buster: Nah, not even, I've got better at home, cheers Rio: True Rio: the shit Indie and her mates have wrecked Rio: and that's just 'cos they're clumsy stoners, like Rio: but we sound 100 this is ridiculous Buster: 😒 Buster: Is this what happens when you put a ring on it 'cause sorry, like Rio: Ugh, don't Rio: and we're getting carried away Rio: Gracie is sending me dress options and your sister basically wants her fee now, like Buster: Fuck that Buster: Forget carried away I'm about to run away from all their bullshit Rio: Yeah well take me with Rio: I'm the one fielding most of their bullshit IRL Buster: I'm sorry, babe Rio: It's alright Rio: They're just compensating for how weird it makes 'em feel but Rio: already over it Buster: At the start of this convo I was gonna say I wanna come home but Rio: Baby Rio: I miss it just being us Buster: I wish we could go somewhere else Buster: Fucking school Rio: I know Rio: least when exams start you do most at home right and just go in for the actual tests Buster: Giving me more time to miss you, like Rio: Nah, I mean Rio: we can work with that Rio: you can come here or I'll go there whatever Rio: I just need to get this flat situation sorted for Inds, she's staying 'round the house but it's not ideal Rio: especially when Eds comes back Buster: I can get a flat for you Buster: Probably not Drew's but a better one maybe Buster: Until then could you two not stay in the one over the pub? Rio: I don't actually know Rio: but I should ask Rio: I know the last student they had in there graduated but that was a while back now Buster: Hit up Granddad he'll never say no to you Rio: Worth a shot Rio: Got any other good ideas whilst we're here, babe? Buster: Always Buster: Get a drink first Buster: Catch up to me Rio: Long Island it is Rio: gotcha Buster: At least you ain't in Chelsea, could run through all your funds with a tab like that Buster: A tiny silver lining for you Rio: Is it? Rio: not even gonna buy me a drink now, okay 😜 Buster: I reckon that was another thing going in the vows Buster: 'Cause you hate it when I buy you shit Rio: Yeah I mean, exceptions to the rule though Rio: not trying to bankrupt myself Buster: I love you Rio: Love you idiot Buster: Cheers for looking so good it keeps me on your socials instead of my sister's Buster: That's another reason, like Rio: Yeah? Rio: Good to know you're still interested, like Buster: Good to know that my absence doesn't make you into a car crash, you know Buster: Save that for her Rio: Little harsh Rio: but don't think you need to take responsibility for it either Buster: Don't worry I wasn't Buster: I didn't break her heart like that Rio: Reality always gonna take that shot Buster: Anyway, bit rich to call me harsh when I bet she was saying worse about me Rio: You wanna know or? Rio: Should probably let you tell you herself Buster: I'm sure I'll hear it all firsthand tonight with no filter Rio: It wasn't that bad Rio: I just put her right on some things Buster: You're cute Buster: Defending my honor Rio: You're not mad? Buster: Why would I be? Rio: idk Rio: 'cos I'm emasculating you or some shit Buster: Shut up Buster: I like that you wanna speak up for me Rio: I'm glad you aren't mad Buster: It's hot, babe Buster: You are Rio: Shh Buster: Never Rio: I miss you Buster: I know Buster: I want you here Rio: I wish I was Buster: Me too Buster: I'd even rather be there and deal with the bullshit than be here without you Rio: Yeah? Rio: At least you can come when this kid finally shows Buster: Thank fuck Buster: Even my mum couldn't fault me there Rio: Be in the shit if you didn't put in an appearance Buster: Yeah, Ro loves me so much you can't dull the shine, babe Buster: I'm the fave Rio: Charming Rio: Only 'cos you're such a 🤓 Buster: You love it too Buster: Win, win Rio: 😒 Rio: Oh yeah, we'll bond over that Buster: 'Course Buster: You're welcome Rio: Truly who I want as my new BFF Rio: not got that old and boring, tah Buster: Glad to hear it Buster: As shit as it is to miss you I don't want you to change so I don't, like Rio: 😏 Yeah trapped now dickhead Buster: Charming Rio: 😂 you didn't wanna change me, like Buster: Yeah yeah Rio: Basically in the vows, soz Buster: It's fine, I'll write my own Rio: Uhmmm Rio: Slightly concerning Buster: Rude Rio: You want your ego stroked go to your Auntie babe Buster: I reckon she's a bit busy right now but I'll bear it in mind Rio: Is she tho Rio: we all waiting Buster: Always on the verge of that breakdown, takes time and a toll Rio: Oh my God Rio: speak of the devil, that was freaky Buster: What? Buster: Rio? Buster: Why am I talking to myself? What the fuck? Buster: Babe Buster: Come on Buster: You're freaking me out now Rio: Sorry, sorry Rio: That was a whole thing Rio: Drew was here Rio: first time I've seen him since, first time anyone has but Indie, like Buster: Are you okay? Rio: Yeah, I mean Rio: he was gross as ever but what's new Buster: What did he do? Rio: Nothing, like Rio: he's just always got chat ain't he Rio: though no one asked him Buster: Alright then what did he say? Rio: You're not going to be happy but she didn't hear him, like he wasn't saying it to her Rio: just some shit about being able to turn her, every straight boy ever Buster: Are you sure she didn't hear it Rio: Pretty sure, she was chatting to some girl at the time, like Rio: distracted anyway when he saw the ring Rio: that was fun Buster: Do you wanna go home? Buster: Nance will understand Rio: Fuck that Rio: Only here dealing anyway he's had to go off now, like Buster: Good Rio: How has he still not changed, like at all Rio: he didn't even ask about Indie Rio: or Ro or the baby or any of it Buster: He's a cunt Buster: He don't wanna change Buster: Or deal with any of it Buster: There's only one type of dealing he knows how to do, like Rio: Christ Rio: it almost makes you feel sorry for him Rio: what's it gonna take, man Buster: Maybe on his death bed when no fucker cares he'll have an epiphany Buster: I doubt the next stint in prison will do anything Buster: Are you gonna tell Indie you saw him? Rio: What's the point Rio: Poor bitch Rio: she don't need to know Buster: Yeah Buster: You're right Rio: It ain't giving her any false hope by not she still hates him Rio: but I don't need to drive home a point she already knows too well, like Buster: It's so fucked Rio: Yep Rio: and I'm the one feeling like the fucked up one Rio: thanks, Drew Buster: Fuck that Buster: Don't Rio: I'm trying Buster: I know, baby Buster: I'm sorry Rio: Not your fault Buster: But you shouldn't have to handle this on your own all the time Buster: I should be there Rio: It's nothing I can't handle Buster: Still Buster: I wanna handle him for you, the cunt Rio: So cute Buster: I'll find him when I'm back it won't be hard to do Rio: No you won't Rio: you'll be too busy Buster: Promises, promises Rio: You know you will, golden boy Buster: Fuck off Rio: Rude Buster: It ain't my fault you're not selling this Buster: Do you want me back or do you want me to run in the other direction from everyone else, like Rio: Sorry Rio: I'm being a bitch Buster: Don't say sorry Buster: Talk to me properly Rio: I don't know, I just feel gross Buster: Are you sure you don't wanna leave? Rio: I just want to be with you Buster: I know Buster: If you can get somewhere you can hear me, I'll call you Rio: Alright Rio: I feel like a party pooper Buster: Don't Buster: I wouldn't be faring any better if I saw that cunt out and about Buster: You know I wouldn't Rio: It's so stupid Rio: why do I even care Buster: It's not stupid Buster: He gets under your skin, he's always been good at it, with everyone Rio: Yeah Rio: Gotta be good at something right Buster: Exactly Buster: You know you'd tell me he ain't worth it, babe Rio: Yeah but what do I know Buster: Please Buster: You're a know-it-all and I love it Rio: Don't take the piss babe Buster: I ain't Rio: I have no idea what I'm doing Buster: Who the fuck does? Rio: At least you all have plans Buster: We have plans together, don't we? Rio: Yeah but I can't just piggyback off yours can I Buster: You won't be Buster: You can do anything you want Buster: When you decide what that is Rio: This is exhausting Rio: I should've finished School Buster: Shit that's worth having doesn't come easy, babe Buster: and you still can, if you want Rio: Well it'd be nice if it did Rio: just for a change, like Buster: You're telling me Rio: Fuck it Rio: I'm going somewhere else Buster: With Nance or without? Rio: She's busy Rio: I'll give her my location if she cares, like Buster: You can't say fairer than that Buster: Or do more, like Rio: Yeah Rio: she don't need a babysitter Rio: and not the job I'm after Buster: Where are you going? Rio: Not decided Rio: see where I end up Buster: Just try not to end up where he is again Buster: That's all I'm thinking Rio: Wow Rio: like I'm that stupid Buster: Calm down Rio: Nah you know what, I'll go back find him, see if he wanna get high again Rio: for fuck's sake Buster: How about you leave your attitude in this club and walk out Buster: Jesus Rio: Fuck off Buster: Don't take this out on me Rio: Go away then Buster: You're an idiot Buster: No Rio: I know, you've made it abundantly clear you think so Buster: Bullshit Rio: Whatever Rio: I don't wanna talk Buster: Stop doing this Rio: What Rio: Doing what Buster: Shutting me out Buster: It's shit that you couldn't keep avoiding Drew, fuck knows I wish you could, but how is giving me the silent treatment gonna help? Rio: Look, it ain't personal Rio: I don't want to think anymore Rio: I'm just gonna go get fucked up Buster: Fuck you Buster: It is personal 'cause I love you Rio: I know you do Buster: Just talk to me Buster: Let it go that way Rio: I've got nothing good to say Rio: everything is just Rio: not even shit Rio: just mind-numbingly meh Rio: I'm back in my childhood bedroom, for fuck's sake Buster: So do something about it Buster: That isn't getting fucked up Rio: I fucking am Rio: but I'm pissed off because I sank so much money into making his place decent and he's probably trashed it already Buster: Let's get it back then Buster: Or somewhere better Rio: How Rio: Ask him nice Rio: it's not like it's his Rio: it's done now but it just makes me realise how much time I've wasted Buster: It's not a waste Buster: You did it to help Indie Rio: Yeah well Buster: Yeah well nothing Buster: We'll figure this out Rio: You're being disgustingly optimistic, you knos Buster: Shut up Buster: Let me help you Rio: I'm just being dramatic Rio: must be catching Buster: Hilarious Buster: I've texted Granddad as soon as he texts me back I'll let you know Rio: Why have you done that Buster: To see if the flat's free, obviously Rio: I could've done that myself Buster: It's done Buster: If you want something to do make me a list of anything you actually want from Drew's so I can go get it when I'm back home Buster: I know they only got your bedroom shit, I remember you saying Rio: Why are you even bothering right now Rio: I've been nothing but a dick to you all night, never mind being useless with it Buster: Do you actually need me to answer that? Buster: Come on, Rio Rio: I'm sorry Rio: I'll do better Buster: Don't Buster: I don't want it or need it Buster: And you're allowed to have a bad night, especially after seeing him again Rio: What do you want or need Rio: salvage this night from being a total write-off, like Buster: You Buster: That's all Rio: You've got me Rio: I'm here now, honest Buster: Yeah? Buster: Good Rio: [Selfie] Rio: See? Buster: You look so fucking good Buster: I see that Rio: Send me one back Rio: I miss your face Buster: [selfie] Buster: Feel better? Rio: 😊 Yes Rio: You're so pretty Buster: You and me both, babe Buster: God, I miss you so much Rio: I miss you more Rio: defending you just made me realize how much I actually love you Buster: Well good, 'cause it'd be a bit awkward if you didn't at this point Rio: Shh I'm being sincere Buster: Carry on Rio: 😏 Rio: I don't know, think the moment's gone Buster: [Sends more pics] Buster: Are you sure? Rio: Fuck Rio: you are oh-so convincing, aren't you? 🤤😻 Buster: You tell me Rio: You are Rio: you really fucking are Buster: That definitely felt sincere Rio: I'm more than down to prove it to you, babe Buster: Yeah? Rio: [Bathroom nudes] Rio: Believe me now? Buster: Fuck Buster: Okay I believe you Rio: Good Rio: I love you so much Buster, don't forget Buster: I won't Buster: You know I can't Rio: Don't ever wish you could Buster: Never, baby Buster: You're so fucking perfect I have to keep you forever Rio: Please Rio: that's all I want Buster: You're all I want Buster: And I want you so much Rio: How much Buster: I heard your name in class, meaning the place, obviously, but I was so distracted I literally heard nothing else all lesson Buster: If I could have gotten away with touching myself at my desk I would've Rio: Baby Rio: I get you in so much trouble, don't I? Buster: I get myself in trouble Buster: You're an angel Rio: No, you're a good boy Rio: you didn't touch yourself once/ Buster: I wanted to but I didn't trust myself to stop if I did Rio: Just because you heard my name Rio: what did it make you think of? Buster: I couldn't stop thinking about how much you like hearing me say it Buster: That's how it started at least Rio: I do Rio: It sounds better when you say it Buster: You say my name like you're tasting it and me Buster: I think I'd do anything if you said it in a certain way, like Rio: I wish Rio: I know you would Rio: but I'm never gonna ask you to do anything you don't wanna do, trust me Buster: There's nothing you could ask me for that I wouldn't wanna give you Rio: Interesting Rio: I'm going to have A LOT of fun testing that Buster: Me too Rio: Now I'm distracted Buster: I'd say sorry but since you left I've woken myself up 'cause of dreaming about you so many times that I'm actually not Rio: No fair Rio: you know that's my favourite Rio: I'd help you get back to sleep, your dreams would be so sweet, like Buster: The other night I had to watch a video of you begging me to cum to make me so I could go back to sleep Rio: Fuck Rio: I love making you cum Rio: it's my favourite thing to do Buster: If I don't get to really see you soon I'm gonna go insane Buster: It's so much harder than before Rio: I know Rio: I can feel you touching me and holding me and kissing me all the time but it's never enough it's the worst kind of teasing Buster: Yeah same Rio: You'll be here soon Rio: and you only have to be a little bit social Rio: I can keep you the rest of the time Buster: I don't care if none of the others get to see my face Buster: I just want you Rio: Motivation to get a place, we can be as loud as we need Rio: 'cos I need to tell you how much I've missed you over and over Rio: and over, like Buster: I really fucking need that Rio: I know baby Buster: Whether the pub flat is occupied or not, I'll find you somewhere perfect, babe Rio: I love you Buster: I love you Buster: Everything's gonna be okay Rio: Yeah? Buster: I promise Buster: Whatever we have do to make it happen Rio: Okay Rio: I believe you Buster: Good Buster: 'Cause you know I mean it Rio: You're so nice Buster: Shh Rio: You know you are Rio: I wish everyone else knew it too Buster: It's for you Buster: I don't care what anyone else thinks about me Buster: Unless you wanna tell 'em Buster: 'Cause like I said, that's hot Rio: You're silly Rio: What's so special about me Buster: I'm gonna have to work harder if you're still asking that question Rio: I wouldn't say no to you working me out right now Buster: I'm not gonna say no to that Buster: Where are you? Rio: Different club, same shit Rio: Where do you want me to be? Buster: You can stay there, we can make it work Buster: Tell me how you want me, you've had a shit night, you deserve everything you want Rio: 👑 right? Buster: You know it, baby Rio: Hmm, there's just so many ways I want you Rio: It's hard to choose Buster: Public or private? Start there Rio: If I don't get to be alone with you I want you public Buster: I like the way you think Rio: As if seeing him wasn't bad enough, every boy out here tryna prove how much they aren't you Buster: Forget them Buster: I'm right here Rio: I want to Rio: Make me Buster: [sends a video] Rio: Daddy Rio: How do you get me like this so easy Buster: 'Cause you're mine Rio: Yes Rio: Say it again Buster: You're all mine Buster: Forever Rio: Fuck Rio: I can't wait 'til you're here Rio: and we can be together all the time Buster: Me either Buster: It's the only thing keeping me sane here right now Rio: Everything is gonna be so good and so right Rio: I promise Buster: I know Rio: Not to mention you can fuck me everyday 😋 Buster: All day Rio: Well Rio: Might have to do some work baby Buster: Shh Rio: 😏 Okay Rio: all day every day Rio: I'm going to make you cum more than you've cum in your whole life Buster: I can't wait for you to prove that Rio: You won't need a video no more Rio: I'll be begging for your cum at your feet baby Buster: Jesus Rio: I want it so bad, it's all for me, isn't it daddy? Buster: You can have everything Buster: Anything Rio joined the chat 10 hours ago Rio: All I really want is you Rio: that's just how it is Rio: I wanna live good with you Buster: That's easy Rio: For you, 'cos you're the best Rio: no one has ever been this good to me Buster: It's a good thing you said yes to marrying me then Buster: 'Cause I always will so you don't need to worry about anyone else anymore Rio: I guess so Rio: How did they expect me to say no? Buster: My mum thinks I'm too young to know what I want Buster: Both hypocritical and hilarious Rio: Just one of those parental things they feel they have to say, probably Rio: when they don't know what they actually reckon Buster: Yeah Buster: Nobody in this family can just let there be a silence about anything Rio: Yeah, unless it's about Drew Buster: Literally Buster: It pisses me off,  I have to be held accountable for everything when I'm not doing anything wrong but he can do whatever he fucking likes Rio: It's a joke Rio: not even a good one Rio: I don't know why Grandad didn't fuck him up ages ago, he's far from being a kid now Buster: 'Cause he's the kind of petty cunt who'd take you down for making him look a mug Buster: Granddad's got too much to lose Rio: Yeah Rio: I know you're right Rio: I wish someone would though, Christ Buster: You should've let me Rio: What, like you've got nothing to lose? Rio: You got to break his nose, more than I did, like Buster: You could too, or worse Buster: I won't stop you, I'll help you Rio: You're funny Rio: but nah, that ain't how it goes down Rio: I just freeze Rio: I don't know why, him, Ryan, always happens Buster: Baby Rio: Don't be sad Rio: Like you said, I don't have to worry about anyone else anymore Rio: especially not them Buster: I just hate that all that shit happened to you Rio: I know Rio: I feel the same about the things that have happened to you Buster: I should have got my shit together and told you I loved you sooner Buster: I'm sorry Rio: Maybe it would've fucked shit up, who knows Buster: Okay yeah Buster: I'll take that Buster: I was a twat Rio: Awh baby 😂 Rio: I mean yeah Rio: we were all on our bullshit, just the age, idk how both our parents stayed so about each other Buster: They were both as bad as each other Buster: You were above me Rio: Please Buster: Come on Buster: Deny it Buster: You can't Rio: How good could I be Rio: I was such a hot mess, letting boys like that treat me like shit, like Buster: Shut up Buster: That wasn't your fault Rio: No one made me go out with wasteman Rio: I can own it Buster: It's not like you signed up for it Buster: You weren't there like let me find the shittest fucking prick in the 24 to get with Rio: Obviously I didn't know everything, I mean, I still thought he was alright, just a bit of a lad Rio: but there were plenty of warning signs I was happy to ignore like an idiot Rio: all his 'crazy' exes, for a start Buster: As someone who literally has a crazy 'ex' if we can give Chlo that much credit, it's not always that simple, babe Buster: You wanna see the good in people, don't let him think that's a mistake just 'cause he used it wrong Buster: make you* Rio: It's such a fucking catch 22 Rio: he knows how to play it, give him that Rio: 'cos now if I try to warn his next, I'm just one of those crazies who's actually obsessed with him, prick Buster: Yeah Buster: It'd be impressive if it wasn't so fucked Rio: You've got better game Rio: More fun Buster: Cheers, babe Buster: I'd fucking hope so, like Rio: Not high praise, fair Rio: but you already know you're the best I've ever had baby Buster: Tell me again though Buster: I love hearing it Rio: No other boy knows me like you Rio: so no other boy can turn me on like you because it's you, everything you do is my fetish, my fantasy, you're so Rio: Jesus, I need you Buster: You know no other girl knows me, yeah? End of story Buster: You're the only one Rio: So lucky Rio: seriously Rio: I'm so glad I know you, Buster Buster: I'm glad you wanna know me Rio: Of course I do Rio: I always have Rio: Why wouldn't I? Buster: I haven't really sold it before now, like Buster: Nobody else is trying that hard for a reason Rio: You were never as bad as you're saying, or think Rio: I want you to know that, no bias Buster: Shh Rio: I mean it Rio: You were just a kid Rio: it's ridiculous to judge yourself by those old standards, never mind anyone else still doing it Buster: I know what I was Buster: I can own it Rio: I'm just saying Rio: Maybe it's time to let it go Buster: Stop being right all the time Buster: So annoying Rio: You love it Buster: I love you Rio: I love you Rio: I'm gonna look after you Buster: I wish you were here with me now Rio: Me too Rio: My poor baby Rio: You need to destress Buster: We both do Rio: We're going away as soon as we can Rio: Somewhere hot and far away and it'll just be us Buster: That's all I want for us, babe Rio: First, gotta flex your brain and get those A*s Buster: On it Buster: I've been getting decent feedback in spite of the rest of this bullshit going on Buster: It'll be easy Rio: I know, you work so hard Rio: I'm proud of you Buster: I'm proud of you too Rio: I'm not doing anything to be proud of right now but I'm gonna make you Buster: Bullshit Buster: I see you working hard, baby Buster: You've even been helping Nance do hers Rio: Anyone else would do the same Buster: Nah Buster: You're an angel and you know it Rio: Baby Rio: you make me melt Buster: Prove it Rio: Ah, so daddy wants to see how hot he's got his baby girl, yeah? Rio: Hold on, can't upskirt myself here and now for you in this outfit, sadly Buster: That's what happens when you go out with my sister Buster: Priorities, babe Rio: I'm sorry 😔 Rio: I didn't know how badly I'd need easy access without you here but I should've known you'd have be needing to touch myself Buster: Lesson learned Rio: I don't know, I still think I'll need you to really show me when you're here Rio: [Snaps] See? Such a big wet patch, so messy Buster: Christ Rio: I know Rio: You see how much I need you, daddy? Buster: I'm this close to getting on a flight so I can fulfill that need for you that's all I know Rio: Such a good daddy Rio: loves his baby so much Rio: but you can take care of me from there, that's how trained you've got me Buster: If you keep talking like this I'm not sure I'll be able to do anything Buster: You're so fucking hot Rio: That's okay, I can do it Rio: I'm a big girl, let baby do all the hardwork and you just lie back and enjoy the show Buster: How do you not know that you're perfect? Rio: I know you think I am Rio: and that makes me so happy Buster: I don't think it, I know it Rio: Every time you say that, it makes me tighter Rio: I wish it was your cock inside me instead of my fingers so you could feel how good I feel Buster: Soon baby Rio: I know Rio: I try to be patient but you know I'm bad at taking my time when you're not telling me to Buster: It's okay, I feel it too Buster: I just fucking need you Rio: You've got me Rio: I'm fucking myself for you so hard Buster: Yeah you are Buster: You're gonna cum for me so hard too Rio: Is that what you want, daddy? You want me to make an even bigger mess for you?  I'm so fucking needy and helpless right now, your baby girl is whimpering your name, anyone can come in hear how fucking much you own her Buster: It's exactly what I want Rio: Good, I wanna be your good girl, I wanna make you as happy as you make me Rio: and I feel like I'm gonna squirt, so it's going to be loud and messy in here Buster: Fuck Buster: I wanna see you so badly Buster: You look so fucking beautiful like this Rio: I'm recording for you best I can Rio: so you can enjoy it whenever you miss me Buster: Oh god Buster: The sound I just made then Buster: I've never been happier about the layout of this house 'cause I swear if you turn me on anymore I could still wake my dad up Rio: I can't be sorry Rio: the way you moan could make me cum by itself Buster: I'll record it for you 'cause I know even with all the others you have of me you can't get enough Rio: I can't, I wanna hear every time I get you off Rio: it's only right Rio: You're moaning my name, fucking yourself to the thought of me and my body Buster: Every word you say gets me closer, I can't get over it Buster: You're so Buster: I don't even have any words, like Rio: I don't wanna waste a single one Rio: if I'm not telling you how good you are and how good you make me feel, what's the point? Buster: You're too good Rio: It's all for you Rio: No one else Buster: Good, I need it all Rio: My whole body is yours, daddy Rio: nah, all of me, heart, soul, whatever the fuck else, me, I'm for you Buster: Rio Buster: I don't know how this happened but I'm so fucking glad it did Rio: Me either Rio: it just did Rio: but it feels right, like it's how it was always meant to be Buster: It does Buster: I don't have any fucking clue how I ever got this far without you Rio: I know Rio: I barely function without you now and it's like Rio: I hadn't seen you properly for so long before, then there was so much waiting and wanting before anything even happened Buster: Yeah Buster: Stay with me, okay Buster: No matter what Rio: Of course Rio: I need to Buster: I love you Rio: I love you so much Buster Buster: Say my name again Rio: Buster Rio: My Buster Buster: Every time I reckon I can't moan any louder you do something to prove me wrong Rio: Good, be loud with me Buster: For you Rio: You're such a good boy Rio: know just what to say to make me go harder Rio: deeper Buster: I need you to cum Buster: Do it for me Rio: Yes, keep going Rio: Tell me what to do, I'm so fucking close Buster: Stop being a tease and go harder Rio: Oh God Buster: You know how you want it Rio: I do, I want it to be so good it hurts Rio: I love it when I make you lose control like that and you fuck me like the whore I am Buster: I need you to feel it tomorrow when you're back home celebrating with the fam Buster: Don't forget about me Rio: Baby that's so fucked up Rio: I fucking love it Buster: Do it then Rio: Yes sir Rio: I'm not as good as you but I'm really trying Buster: You're so good baby Buster: Don't stop trying Rio: Can I leave bruises Rio: as I'm pretending to be you Buster: If you can Buster: I want you to Rio: I don't know how I haven't been kicked out Rio: I'm nearly screaming Buster: Maybe they're all enjoying it too Rio: I like that, Jesus Buster: Or maybe they know you couldn't stop even if they tried to make you Rio: Seriously Rio: There's no way I can now Buster: Don't Buster: Finish what you started Rio: I promise Rio: I'm not going to do you like that daddy, I know you need your baby to cum so you can too Buster: Please Rio: You've earnt it Rio: If you were here I would reward you with letting you cum wherever you want Rio: before letting you clean mine up, of course Buster: Oh fuck Rio: Where do you wanna cum, daddy? Buster: You know how good your tits look tonight dressed like that Buster: Easy decision Rio: Mmm, I like that one too Rio: means I can look you in the eyes when I lick up every drop Buster: Baby Rio: Yes daddy? Buster: You've got me so desperate Rio: Is your cock leaking precum for me? Buster: Jesus, I'm so close right now Rio: Please cum for me, I want it so badly Rio: I'll do anything to make you cum, daddy, anything Buster: I'm making so much noise for you Buster: I just wanna cum Rio: Let go, baby Rio: I bet your Dad has already heard you Rio: it's okay Buster: I bet half the street has heard me by now Buster: Lose control with me Rio: Fuck Buster: You make me feel so good Rio: You're my favourite person Buster: You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Rio Rio: Marry me Buster: You're gonna be the best wife Rio: Yeah? Buster: Seriously Buster: I can't wait until you are Rio: Baby Buster: I can't believe you want that as much as I do Rio: Really bad Rio: to be honest, the way everyone's gone on made me wanna do it now just to piss them off Buster: I'll marry you now Rio: I know Rio: but fuck doing it for anyone but us really Buster: I know you're right Buster: Again Rio: We'll do it whenever we want though Buster: 'Course Buster: You're the only one who gets to tell me what to do, babe Rio: I'm not gonna spring a wedding on you though Rio: even if I want your name Buster: You do? Rio: Of course Rio: You know I do Buster: That's so hot Rio: Yeah? Buster: Yeah Buster: Fuck it, let's get married now Rio: You're so cute Buster: You are Rio: I want to show you off though Rio: don't reckon our turn-out would be all that hot right now Buster: We can have more than one Buster: Your parents did Rio: Well, their first didn't count but Buster: Still Buster: I'll marry you every year if you want Rio: You're killing me Rio: and making it sound like a good idea Buster: We have to do something for our anniversary, yeah? Why not, like? Buster: You can have a different dress for every one, that'd kill me Rio: and bankrupt you 😏 Buster: You wish, babe Buster: I'm gonna be a rich hot shot lawyer soon Rio: Yeah, I think I wish that more, babe Rio: 😻 Buster: So will you? Rio: Are you asking me to marry you again? Buster: Marry me now and then marry me again Rio: Can we? Buster: I want to, so if you want to Buster: Don't say yeah just 'cause I'm an impatient prick though Rio: I want to Buster: Just me and you? Rio: Yeah Buster: Where do you wanna go? I'll take you anywhere in the world Rio: I'll start looking Rio: This summer is going to be perfect Buster: It will Rio: I love you so much Buster Rio: I don't know how to say it in a way that explains how much anymore Buster: I know Buster: I feel the same about you Buster: And I always will Rio: I miss you Buster: I miss you too Buster: I'm sleepy and I want you here Rio: Baby Rio: if you can stay up a little bit longer, I'll facetime you when I get home Buster: Alright Rio: Nance already left off for home apparently so I've just gotta get a cab myself now so I won't be long Buster: I'm not gonna ask if she's alone, I don't wanna know Rio: I didn't ask for specifics Buster: If she tells you, don't tell me, like Rio: 🤐 Rio: 'Course Buster: I'm worried about her Buster: Don't tell her I said that either, obviously Rio: I'm not stupid, or that much of a blabbermouth Rio: You are? Buster: Like, okay worried might be a strong word but Buster: Going out, drinking, hooking up that isn't her, that's me Rio: I know what you mean Rio: but I think it's a case of, look where being me got me Rio: she's just trying things out, she's still her, she's sensible enough not to get too lost in it Buster: I don't want her to have more regrets just 'cause she reckons with all the shit that happened she has to be someone else Buster: I don't know Buster: Maybe I'm the stupid one, yeah? Rio: No, no Rio: It makes sense, I'm worried too but Rio: I don't think there's anything you can do, or any of us Rio: it's something she's gotta do, you know? Buster: Yeah Buster: At least she can't get pregnant Buster: Thank fuck for that Rio: I know Rio: The gays truly have that working in their favour Buster: And Indie's single now, right? Buster: I like our odds at keeping everyone out of too much shit Rio: Yeah Rio: Thank fuck again Rio: Bless 'em Rio: Heartbreak's a bitch Buster: Do I need to add him to my list of people to sort when I'm back home? Buster: 'Cause you know I will Rio: Stop being so hot Buster: If it matters to you then it matters to me Buster: We're a team, babe Rio: You're so daddy rn Rio: but seriously Rio: he's just a stupid kid, like a cunt but he didn't really do anything wrong you know Rio: it just weren't what she thought it would be Buster: Been there Buster: Not that I was ever leading girls on but you know Rio: It happens Buster: And sometimes being as honest as you've gotta fucks them over still Rio: Yeah, that's what I don't wanna ask her Rio: Sometimes you just want a thing a certain way, he might not have been selling it as that ever, idk Rio: like Nance really thinking her teach might be into it Buster: Yeah Buster: And my mum thinking I'm gonna wake up and realize I'm just not that into you Rio: Gotta get you worked up when she's in, clearly Rio: then she'd get it Buster: Probably not a good idea Buster: But I wouldn't be mad about it personally Rio: 😏 Buster: She's just obsessed with uni that's all Buster: Not like she can put pressure on Nance to go to Havard or Oxford or wherever so Rio: I'd get it more if I was stopping you from going, like Rio: show me where I said that Rio: I wouldn't Buster: She's losing her mind that I'm going to Trinity 'cause its not top for Law Buster: I've never cared about that Buster: I can succeed anywhere Buster: You're not the only 'distraction' she wants me to walk away from Chlo's kid too even if its also mine Buster: That's just how it is with her Rio: She knows it ain't that easy Rio: No offence but you wouldn't be here if it was that cut and dry Buster: Everything was a fight for her, it's easy for me so I have to do even better than she did Buster: Dad too Buster: Not make their 'mistakes' Rio: Damn Rio: does she realise how cold that sounds or? Buster: Have you met her? Buster: Babe she is cold Rio: Yeah but to say that to your face Rio: Jesus Buster: Maybe you don't get to go through all the shit she did and stay warm Buster: Or maybe that's just how she had to be to handle it, I don't know Rio: Probably Rio: I'm not trying to talk shit on her Rio: I just care about you too Buster: I know how it sounds, but it's not personal, she'd be like this if it was any other girl too Rio: Yeah Rio: I know Buster: And like it or not, I'm her only living son so Buster: I'll thrive under the pressure like always Rio: I know you will baby Rio: but you're allowed to not be perfect when you're with me, you know that, yeah? Buster: Please, you know I am perfect Rio: Yeah Rio: even if you weren't, I'd still stay Buster: You're gonna make me cry Buster: Behave Rio: That's allowed too, like Buster: Shh Buster: You're so nice to me Buster: And so cute Rio: Because you're nice Buster: It's so weird sometimes Buster: Remember when we weren't Rio: I know Rio: even then though, I knew you weren't as bad as you were fronting Rio: 'cos know-it-all first and foremost Buster: 'Course Buster: You had me all figured out, didn't you, babe? Rio: What, you think you were such an enigma? 😉 Buster: Well, yeah Rio: Awh baby Rio: shoulda left you living that fantasy Buster: Nah Buster: I prefer this one we're in Rio: Got to agree Buster: Good Rio: Town is so busy tonight, only just got a cab Buster: Do I need to get a coffee, like? Rio: You can go to sleep baby Rio: don't stay up on my behalf Buster: I'm just playing Buster: It's okay Rio: Hate to be distracting, you know Buster: Obviously Buster: I'm always saying that about you Rio: So you should be Rio: Very serious about your education Rio: who taught you how to kiss, like Buster: Damn I should have led with that argument when I was chatting to mum Rio: Missed a trick Rio: Keep it PG though, she ain't need to know everything I taught you Buster: Not with my competitive streak 'cause I'd have to let her know I've taught you just as much Buster: A very unnecessary convo Rio: Truly Rio: but I'm enjoying reminiscing very much Buster: I'm glad I kissed you that day finally Buster: I'd wanted to for ages before it Rio: Good thing you got dared to then so you couldn't bottle it Rio: I can't even remember who dared you now Buster: That annoying fucker who was always hanging around us Buster: What the hell was his name even? Rio: Oh I know who you mean Buster: He so reckoned I wouldn't do it Buster: He only dared me 'cause he was too scared to tell you that he liked you himself Rio: Awh Rio: he was probably gutted Buster: An irresistible heartbreaker even then, babe Buster: I know he was gutted 'cause he stopped hanging around, remember? Rio: Now I feel bad Rio: Would track him down but like, not got good news for you lad Buster: What so you'd have rather kissed him? Buster: Rude Rio: Obviously not Rio: could be the one that got away though Buster: 😒 Buster: If you wanna go marry him, like Rio: I'm tryna facebook him but I really can't remember his name at all Rio: I keep thinking J something but maybe that's just 'cos he was a twat too like a certain someone Buster: We all called him that same nickname but I can't even remember that Buster: Unlucky for you Rio: I'm gutted, like Rio: You cockblocking me forever Buster: You will only go to gay club lately Buster: Can't blame me for that Rio: Yeah, know you wouldn't stand in the way of that, babe Buster: I'm considerate like that Rio: You're a pervert like that Rio: it's okay, save you from the male gaze rant/your sister Buster: Cheers Buster: I've already had some drunk texts from her Rio: Maybe she did go home alone after-all Rio: anything worth hearing? Buster: They're hard to read Buster: I honestly don't know how that girl understood enough to wanna hit her up way back when Rio: Not gonna go there, you'll only get grumpy Buster: What is that meant to mean? Rio: There's plenty of ways to get wanna fuck understood, like Rio: ☛👌 Buster: It's Nance I don't reckon she went about it like that Rio: You reckon she sent her a poem Rio: She didn't even like her, like Buster: Shut up Buster: She's so awkward she can't even order her own coffee if we go out to breakfast Rio: Yeah, not drunk Nance though Buster: I'll take your word for that 'cause all I've seen her do then is wanna fight me Rio: You know Buster: Did she even fuck that girl though? Like you're saying she could've all but sent her nudes but like Rio: Apparently so Buster: She told you that or are you using your skills? Rio: Yeah, she told me Buster: Alright Rio: I didn't ask if that was her first time but sad if it was because she wasn't into it Buster: It would've been I know that much about her life, like Rio: Oh, that's shit Buster: Like I said, I'm worried Buster: But she ain't gonna talk about this to me Rio: I can try again Buster: I don't know Buster: Like you said, it's sad Buster: Do we wanna go there? Rio: Yeah, she might not want to Rio: I'll keep an eye best I can and be there how she wants but you know Buster: Yeah Rio: I'm sorry I didn't clock it Rio: I should've Buster: Don't Buster: You don't need to blame yourself for anything Buster: We don't even know the full story anyway, like Rio: Yeah Buster: Talk to her if it'll put your mind at ease Rio: I'm alright, just Rio: No one ever has a good time, you know Buster: Yeah Buster: Are we all cursed in this fam or what? Rio: I think it's weirdly standard, I don't know why Rio: impatience strikes again, probably Buster: True Buster: I know it did for me Buster: I had a good time until she dumped me after though Rio: Yeah Rio: Bit like Indie Rio: It's not the worst, I guess Buster: Had Indie not been with lads before him? Buster: I thought she had Rio: Not all the way Buster: I just assumed, I guess Buster: She's always got them around her, like Rio: Nah, those are just her mates Buster: Makes sense Rio: Yeah, she's not really one for other girl's company in general Buster: You'd never know it to see her with you Rio: Yeah well I'm great Buster: Obviously Buster: That's why I miss you so much Rio: Duh Buster: How far from home are you now? Rio: Not far now, promise Rio: 5 minutes Buster: I don't wanna go to sleep without seeing you Rio: I know baby, I can't do it either Buster: How did we ever? Rio: I've never slept well Buster: Me either, honestly Buster: It's hard to switch off Rio: Yeah Rio: Same Rio: I've never slept like I do when you're there Rio: not just because you've worn me out too Buster: If that worked I would have always slept well, like Buster: I used to drink and fuck so much Buster: It's always been different with you Buster: Remember when we fell asleep together before any of this Rio: Yeah Rio: Trying to look after me even then Buster: I've always tried to do that Buster: Wanted to Rio: I know Rio: even when I didn't appreciate it Buster: I behaved worse to you Buster: I don't know why you ever talked to me after some of the shit I said Buster: Well, I do, but Rio: You know, heard it all before Buster: Rio Rio: Hm? Buster: I hate that anyone has ever talked to you like that, me included Rio: It's alright Buster: It's not Rio: Well, I don't care now Rio: it is what it is Rio: easy target Buster: I'm never gonna hurt you again, okay Buster: Or let anyone else either Rio: I believe you Buster: Good 'cause I mean it Rio: You didn't mean any of it, did you? Buster: Baby Buster: Of course not Rio: Okay Rio: Good Buster: Did you really think I ever did? Buster: Seriously Rio: I wouldn't blame you Buster: Fuck Rio: Don't Buster: I have to Rio: Forget about it Rio: you didn't mean it, it's fine Buster: No Rio: Babe Buster: What? Rio: Sorry Buster: Don't apologise Buster: I should be Rio: You have and it's okay Buster: It's not good enough Rio: I say it is Rio: but what do you want to do to make it okay then? Buster: You don't have to do anything Buster: This is on me, not you Rio: No it isn't Rio: it's my bullshit Buster: I still have to own what I did and what I made you feel like Rio: It's not like this came from you, is it Buster: That doesn't mean I'm fucking excused, like Rio: You didn't mean it, you apologized Rio: I'm not asking for more Buster: You never do Rio: Are you judging me for that now? Buster: I'm not judging you for any of this Rio: Then accept my acceptance Buster: Fine Rio: I wish I'd not brought it up now Buster: You never wanna bring it up Buster: Have we even talked about any of this since you were high on Drew's mystery stash, like? Rio: Why would I want to? Rio: You wouldn't wanna sit here and talk about your flaws Buster: I'm not saying you have to Rio: Yes you are Buster: I was just asking the question, Christ Buster: Don't get mad at me Rio: Whatever, I want to drop it Buster: Like I said, fine Rio: It isn't fine if you're gonna be pissy is it Buster: Fuck off Buster: I'm not pissy I'm upset that you're carrying this bullshit around with you Rio: We've all got our own shit Buster: Obviously Rio: Just please can we forget about it Rio: I'm home now Buster: I'm not trying to upset you that's literally the opposite of what I was trying to do Buster: So yeah if you want Rio: Just Rio: you can't fix everything for me, babe, especially not tonight Buster: I know Buster: I'm just tired, alright Buster: I'm being dramatic Rio: Just taking off my makeup and getting comfy then I'll call you Buster: You still want to? Rio: Of course Rio: don't you want me to Buster: Of course I do Buster: But I get if you're pissed off at me Rio: Shh Rio: I'm not Rio: You're only trying to be gentlemanly and noble, as per, I'm not mad at you Rio: just myself Buster: I don't want you to be mad at yourself either though Rio: That's okay, I'll feel better when we snuggle Buster: I love you, Rio Buster: I'll be less of an annoying prick when we're together again Buster: I swear Rio: I feel it Rio: There'll be no room for miscommunication Buster: I'll do my best to make sure its hard for you to talk Rio: Promises promises Buster: You can hold me to it Buster: You know I really wanna hold you Rio: I know Rio: I want that so bad Rio: you make me feel so safe Buster: Soon Buster: I'm gonna look after you, baby Rio: You always do Buster: I try anyway Rio: You do Rio: Don't question it Buster: Okay Rio: Promise? Buster: I promise Buster: I believe you Rio: Good Rio: Okay, I'm in bed Buster: Good Buster: Call me Rio: 🧡

[mytastessuck]

Ween: The Pod

Ah, the album that nearly killed the band. An underrated part of the band's history, this album was recorded when Dean and Gene came down with a mean (Not Mean Ween, the handsome gentleman on the cover) case of mononucleosis which they self-medicated with huffing, explaining 100% of the songs on this album as well as a few flashbacks on future ones. I've always liked a few songs from this album but it took a couple of listens for it to grow on me. But trust me, when you give this album a chance, you will not only gain a new appreciation for music, you can pretty much listen to anything.

1. Strap on That Jammypac

A great way to introduce the album with the sheer what-the-fuckness of the warbling voice that sets you up for a hell of a lead-in instruments tackling you to the floor and beating the shit out of you in the name of the Boognish. Taste the curb, bitch.

10/10

2. Dr. Rock

One of the more recognizable songs from this album. You can clearly hear the guys having fun with this track to the point that it can be seen as a leftover from The Oneness. A great punk track that can kill vermin with how wild it is.

15/10

3. Frank

I know I'm supposed to be thinking about this Frank guy but this song just makes me hungry. My family wants me to cut back on cheese because that's unhealthy all of a sudden. Combine this with the fact that I can only eat fries if I get take-out and it looks like bad times are ahead for your friend. Now I'm sad.

9/10

4. Sorry Charlie

Geez, this Charlie guy sounds like a real sad sack. I feel pretty bad for hi---girlfriend in high school? Wow, never mind. Hope the diddling was worth surfing from couch to couch, Seth Rogen in Pineapple Express. Dreary...for the girl.

9/10

5. The Stallion (Part 1)

Yes...finally a song that lets people know who they're fucking with. Hint: it's the wrong person. Nicely garbled and violently vulgar, I think I speak for ever single American when I say this song should replace the pledge of allegiance.

50/10

6. Pollo Asado

Ah, the wonders of ordering food. Nice back and forth here, real distant and creepy...great, I'm hungry again. And I want lemonade. IT'S MY MONEY, I CONTROL MY DIET!

8/10

7. Right to the Ways and the Rules of the World

A sad song about how the cosmos truly work. Truly full of despair, can't you hear the instruments and the sorrowful voice? Don't pay attention to the laughter near the end. Pay attention to the incense coming from outside. Seems self-defeating, doesn't it? Just like the universe...

11/10

8. Captain Fantasy

My favorite song from the album and the best one to randomly sing to yourself on the subway when you're blitzed on Long Island Iced Teas from Ease. Awesome sound on this track and no other one can challenge that.

100/10

9. Demon Sweat

Surprisingly chill for the sludgefest of this album. I'm guessing this must have been the most difficult song for them to record considering how slow it sounds. An essential listening for people who need to know how nice Ween can jam.

66/10

10. Molly

What a nice fucked track that makes you think you managed to break the device you're listening to it on. I hope Molly appreciates that this song is better than the entirety of what my neighbors blast as they roll past the apartment window. I'm on the tenth goddamn floor. Turn down your fucking music!

17/10

11. Can U Taste The Waste?

Pretty everything is a waste except this song. So dirty, so brown, so good. Send this song through the sewers to battle dragons and rescue princesses instead of that Italian sell-out.

40/10

12. Don't Sweat It

This dude tells me not to sweat it but it's hard not to when the guitar is this violent is the percussion is this taunting. And here you are talking about tea again! I am going to let my family have it at our next meeting.

10/10

13. Awesome Sound

Look, Awesome Sound, I hate to be the one to tell you this but despite how tight you are, you're not best banger on the album. That's Captain Fantasy. Good effort with the strumming though.

10/10

14. Laura

Another beautifully garbled song about a man killing himself over a chick. Or maybe he's gonna kill other people. Tough to tell. Guys and gals, there's always fish in the sea. And one of the most important fish is you. Don't bump yourself off because one or more don't want to swim in your current.

10/10

15. Boing

A tribal (can I say that? I'm black and it sounds wrong) chant over sound drowned beats creates a nice scene to bong mask yourself to. Something tells me this should be the track you listen to when you stare at the album cover in a dark room for several hours.

9/10

16. Mononucleosis

Finally, we get to the root of the madness. Gene croons about the band getting so sick that they couldn't smoke or drink it away or play with their lovely cat. If that was the case, I would pray Komm, Susser Tod too. A freaky sludgy story that can legally give you a fever, do not mess this tale.

11/10

17. Oh My Dear (I Must Be Falling In Love)

My second favorite song that remains juvenile yet more serious than Ween's previous romantic output. Short, sweet and sounding like something SongDrops would put out if they hired better musicians, seduce your boo at your next sleepover with this.

90/10

18. Sketches of Winkle

And we're back to punk. Fast-paced, hard and loud enough to wake up a man that slept for a hundred years, this song will stick in your head for days on end.

50/10

19. Alone

Aaaaaaaaand back to soft. Very mellow, very chill. You can put this song as the ending to Texhnolyze and nobody would be the wiser because it is that much of a downer. Geez, I hope this is as dark as the band gets, eh?

9/10

20. Moving Away

More mellowness. Let's hope this song is talking about the guys moving out of their hellhole of an apartment. Escape the mold, fellas.

8/10

21. She Fucks Me

A bit slower about a girl that fucks. She fucks Gene, she fucks Dean, she fucks me, she fucks all of us. It's I'm guessing the guys were running out of steam at this point but this song is still pretty cool.

10/10

22. Pork Roll Egg And Cheese

A tune that wouldn't be out of place on Spongebob (wink), Ween sings about their love for a balanced breakfast in this nice ditty. Picks up at the tune of the album at the end and sets us up for a doozy.

10/10

23. The Stallion (Part 2)

Come hither for the album closes out by reminding the listeners of who they shouldn't fuck with, mang. Mr. Ed ain't got nothing on this shit where a man reveals that he runs the show. Nice way to close out an album.

75/10

Album Score: 27.7/10

Next week, we will tackling one Ween's objectively two best albums, Pure Guava. See you there.