#like i'm sure by the end my opinion will simply be: it was fine

[ranger-kellyn]

Roku, "For the Avatar, friends can be...a liability."

WHO WROTE THESE GUYS???????????

[gentlemanjuniper]

If I could inject just a little positivity to the news...

Season 2 has a lot of filler and stretches out a pretty simple mystery to six episodes. That's the appeal to some, I get it. But tightness and focus was not its strong suit. I remember feeling like it wasted a ton of time on side characters and it's possible shaving the story down to 90 minutes will skim things down to its most essential beats and be stronger for it. Basically, S2 got a lot of time given to it, and this is obviously my personal opinion but I don't think it used all of it well. I think S2 itself could have been half the length simply by employing more efficient storytelling and we'd not mourn too much.

A lot of S2's weaker plotlines feel built around people that Neil wanted to work with again, with so many recurring actors (I'm thinking of the zombies specifically, when that minisode could have easily been tighter without them). A lot of s2 to me feels like Neil just making work for the people he likes and wants to work with and a movie has to be more accountable to things like that.

Lots of entire fandoms exist around single movies. 90 minutes is not nothing. It's enough for many, many films to tell a complete story with cute character interactions and satisfying emotional arcs, especially when A&C are the only real significant connecting threads between both seasons thus far.

I don't think there are as many loose threads that absolutely need resolving as people may be thinking. Would I like to know why Aziraphale did the '40s apology dance? Would I like to see his bookshop gun? Sure. Are either of those necessarily essential to closing out the story? I don't think so. Really, what needs resolving is the second coming and, directly connected to that, Aziraphale and Crowley's rift. To me, not knowing the story obviously, that seems super reasonable to do in 90 minutes?

I don't think anyone involved in the final season can possibly be blind to the appeal of the show being Aziraphale and Crowley over anything else. That's certainly the reason why their roles were expanded to begin with from the book and why the second season was, nominally, all about them. They also now have to pay MS and DT for appearing in a movie rather than an ensemble show, there's no way they won't be front and center. Amazon wants a show that will make money and market itself; there's a reason why all the promo material for S2 was of Crowley and Aziraphale, because people engage with that stuff, reblog it, make art that promotes the show, etc. It makes no artistic or financial sense to make a movie that sidelines them.

GO is at its best when it has Terry's voice most strongly in it. That's why to me, S2 was a weaker, more meandering season overall (that, and I think the minisodes, while fun, just make the season feel comprised of different voices not always working in tandem towards a common goal). If I was a writer hired to condense a season into a film, and one of the authors had been rightfully disgraced, I would go out of my way to ensure the clearly Terry stuff is most significantly emphasized. It's telling to me that the Pratchett estate is producing and it's possible that the end result will result in more Terry, less Neil.

Think of it this way: everything we've gotten after S1 has always been extra. Imagine telling a fan of the book in the 90s that not only will you get a six episode adaptation, you also get a totally new second season, AND a movie?

Basically: I know this is disappointing but I think a lot of the pleasure of the Good Omens fandom was ALWAYS people picking up on and expanding on details, and y'all managed to do that just fine when A&C were only ensemble members in S1. You can and will do that with a movie too. And this solution both a) ensures first and foremost that Neil won't be involved or the allegations swept under the rug, and b) gives an opportunity for the heart of the story to be emphasized with greater focus, clarity and less filler.

Will we lose good stuff? Probably. But it's also possible we will get a tighter, more condensed, focused version of the best bits, the Terry Pratchett-est bits. I can easily see a 90 minute movie that, knowing they HAVE to focus on the important stuff now, is more Crowley and Aziraphale centric than ever.

[russellsppttemplates]

I never knew anybody 'til I knew you (Lando Norris)

Your new job is allowing you to have new experiences, and your heart is not too mad about it either

Note: english is not my first language. After a long time in the books, I'm finally writing for Lando! This is my first long piece and I hope I did well enough!

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: curse words, mentions alcohol consumption

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

"I'm just saying, it's closer that way. We can go and get the packages ourselves and sort out any issues with them straight away", Lando reasoned, opening his text message app so he could continue what he wanted to do. "Okay, fine by me. He's got a point, Y/N", Max raised his hands in surrender, looking at you for your opinion.

Working for Quadrant hadn't been a goal you had set out to accomplish in the strict sense of it. You didn't see yourself working for a massive company where people were stuffed in offices where the only way they could know their colleagues' names was when they had online meetings that took far too long and discussed the baseline of the issues. So, when you saw the job offer for someone in the Graphic Design area of work, you looked up the company name and saw their work, fascinated with how the guys had grown this business from streaming online gaming. Later, as you progressed in the recruitment process, you came to learn that Lando and Max also had a more public presence than you had initially figured out, despite all of your friends' insistence that "you can't be that clueless, Y/N, how did you not know that Quadrant was Lando Norris'? I thought you applied because of that", they would say as you shrugged your shoulders, "in this economy, do you think I am that picky about a job? I have my preferences, sure, but I know what I'm worth and I saw the offer was actually quite okay!", you defended yourself.

You ended up getting the spot and, so far, you couldn't complain. Most of the time you worked with Callum, Max and Tara, since your work overlapped with theirs, and every now and again, like right now, Lando would also meet up with you.

"Are you sure it's fine if I go? Your parents know Max, but they haven't met me before. Are you sure they won't find it weird?", you spoke directly to Lando, thinking that his idea, as lovely and kind as it was, didn't account for the facts you were stating.

"Max is coming because he's from the team, and you're from the team, too, so you're coming with us as well", Lando said simply, not seeing the problem.

"But he's been your friend for so long now, I'm a Quadrant Team member", you attempted again, "they don't have to provide for and give a roof to a stranger, I'll find an hotel to spend the night", you offered, wanting to be clear about it.

"You're part of the team, too! Don't worry about that, okay?", Lando said, "besides, mum loves having a full house, she's definitely the host of the family", he smiled, checking the item on his list nd carrying on the meeting.

"When we're there, we'll be able to get our hands on the embroidered Originals collection", Max began, "hopefully they're perfect and we can start working on the website", he gestured as you turned your laptop so they both could see, "this is the concept I've come up with, since this isn't as flashy or as colourful as past collections", you showed them the mood board, looking for disapproval signs but being met with looks of surprise instead, "I know it's not usually what you go for, so I also have another idea here, if you just let m-", you were about to change when Lando slapped your hand away from the mouse and holding it in his, "I really like this one, especially these posts here, I think the ideas are great!", he noted as he set your hand down on the table, "okay, then I can keep working on this", you said, closing the other tab, "do you have something better than this?", Max asked, "seems as good to me!", he offered.

"This is just a draft, I'll invest more time in this and I'll have it ready for the end of the week. That way we can have it ready when the clothes arrive. I'll text Tara to ler her know", you smiled, grabbing your phone as the boys flickered through the ideas, pointing out the different details they liked and wanted to keep.

.

"I'm way too young for my life to be just this, so please drive safely, Max", you said, buckling your seatbelt and exaggerating your hold on the door handle, "if you weren't such a crucial part of this team, I'd make you reconsider your jokes", he teased back, reversing out of the parking space and initiating the trip.

Lando was already at his parents' house since they had a family gathering the day before, so you and Max were driving up to meet him, "they're really nice people, really chilled as well", Max began, "Adam and Cisca, that is. I can hear you thinking and I'm assuming that is what's going on in your head", he stated.

"I don't want to step on anyone's toes, and I don't want to embarrass anyone or myself even. Can you imagine Lando's parents finding out their son's company has questionable employees? They'll mark me off as some sort of strategy fool or think that I want to take this company down, and I don't!", you uttered out, sharing more than you meant to.

Impostor's Syndrome was a bitch, and it often showed up the moment things got progressively harder, and while you knew you were able to deal with it, the little voice still nagged you.

"Y/N, you're one of the most valuable people we have on the team, and I don't say that lightly. This is Lando's baby, and yes, he's the face of it and that counts for most of it, but the work behind it is just as important and with the numbers we're having, it all comes down to you. Since you joined us the designing aspect of it, - obviously, you wouldn't be the one responsible for accounting, duh -, the compliments have been non stop, it has improved the interactions, too!", he said honestly, "you have nothing to worry about, truly", he comforted, "it's this exit here", he mumbled, checking the GPS and turning on the blinker, slowing down the car as they entered the city.

You didn't have to wait long before he pulled up to a big house, the gravel sound quieting down until it came to a halt when Max stopped the car, "Lando said he'd meet us at the door, I really don't fancy being mistaken by a burglar", he joked, getting out of the car as you did the same, stretching your legs and taking in the sight.

"Max, Y/N! Did you have a good trip?", Lando made himself be heard and seen, walking up to you and grabbing the bags his friend was taking out of the car boot, "I'll take these", he offered, picking up your luggage as you pulled on your backpack, "thanks", you smiled, following him as he led the way into his parents' house.

"My parents are in the kitchen", the Formula One driver said, ushering you to the roomy space after he and Max dropped the bags by the stairs, "Max, dear! We haven't seen you in so long, how are you?", a beautiful woman said. Her hair was brown and her skin was tanned as she hugged Max and Lando, "this is Y/N, she is our graphic designer", he presented you, the older man hugging you and his wife doing the same, "I'm Adam, it's so nice to finally meet you", he smiled warmly, "likewise", you smiled back.

"You can call me Cisca, darling. We've heard so much about you, it's nice to finally put a face to the name", she winked at you as you didn't miss Lando elbowing his mother as he closed his eyes, sighing at her, "thank you for having me over, I hope it's not too much trouble", you thanked again, feeling more at ease at their genuine welcoming greetings.

Lando quickly scrambled an answer, seemingly not wanting his parents to talk, "of course it's fine, no trouble here! Let's get your things upstairs so we can settle in and work!", he clapped his hands, walking to the corridor and up the stairs with Max as you excused yourself.

"This is your room, you have the bathroom on the next door", he pointed on the corridor after he placed your bag and backpack down in the small sofa, "Max is in the office, it's just across the hall and I'm at the end of the hall, if you need anything", Lando offered.

"Thanks, again. Do you guys want to begin now? I just need to put on some fluffy socks and I'm good to go", you said, "yes! Is the dining room okay with your parents? The table is big enough to layout everyhting", Max chirped in, whistling at your room as he looked around, "she got an upgrade, good move!", he tapped his friend's back.

After Lando cleared it with his parents, he was quick to remove the table runner and flower vase from the dining room table, extending it to its biggest size so you had all the space you needed, "you can sit here, Y/N, it's usually where the room heats up faster", he pointed out the radiator, pulling up the chair next to your and typing on his iPad.

"So this is the video idea? I like it, we just need to find some background music for it", Max asserted, grabbing his phone to check the time, "we should get going to pick up the order", he uttered.

"Do you need all of us to go?", you asked, saying the changes in your laptop as you did,

"You can pull your the backseats of your car down, can't you, Max? That way we can bring more boxes, and you and me go", Lando reasoned, looking over at you, "do you mind staying here while we go get them?", he asked, not wanting you to feel uncomfortable.

"I'll be fine, you go", you smiled, opening your notebook and writing down some notes.

"Oh, darling, you could've turned the lights on. Soon enough you'll be like me and need glasses", Cisca said as she stood on by the door, flickering the lights on as your eyes got used to the brightness, "I already wear them, or I should more often anyway", you blushed, suddenly getting caught with your hand in the cookie jar, grabbing your case from your backpack and putting them on.

When Lando and Max left, you decided to work on the website graphics, checking how the campaign would work with the current layout, that you lost track of time.

"May I see what you're working on?", she asked, "it's okay if I may not, I don't want to intrude", she smiled as you pulled up the chair next to you, "I don't know much about these things, but I always get quite fascinated with this part", she said, sitting down and looking at the screen.

Already driving back home, Lando and Max talked about the plans once they arrived, "and that way Y/N can also finish the social media stuff, and maybe you'll have more time to actually make a move on her", he teased.

Lando scoffed, "I'm not trying to make a move on her", he defended himself, "I'm glad to know, because if those moves were what you had, it wouldn't surprise it that it didn't go very far", Max yelped as his friend took the opportunity of the straight road ahead to hit his thigh, "so that's what you talk about? Here I am thinking about business and you're meddling in my love life?".

"I never said it was love life, but since you've admitted it, it's saving me time. So, what are you planning? I could help since this seems to be stalled", Max tried again, holding his hands in protection of his body in case Lando hit him again.

"I wouldn't know where to begin, I mean, it will make things awkward if this goes south, right? I'd never be able to look at her again, much less work with her", Lando admitted, "She's very kept to herself as well, I highly doubt that she'll want to be involved with me in that way. Whoever I date or interact with has to deal with enormous amount of public eye and I wouldn't spring that up on her", Lando mumbled, taking the road exit on his left.

"So you've given this some thought, too. Here we are thinking you're coming to the meetings to help and now you're just blushing when we talk about Y/N", Max joked back as Lando shook his head.

"We're back!", Lando announced, walking inside the dining room while pushing the boxes with Max, "don't worry, mum, we're not scratching the floors", he said, sweetly kissing the side of her head, "are you planning to work for us?", he noticed she was sitting next to you, notebooks of the projects open and sheets and fabrics all over the table in front of you.

"Y/N was kindly showing me the project you're working on, for the launch, and it looks really nice!", she complimented, placing a hand on your shoulder and the other on your arm, "she's been showing me everything, I've probably stolen some valuable time from you, darling, I'm sorry", she slumped her shoulders slightly, "not at all, it's all under way, don't worry", you smiled, easing her worries, "I'll leave you guys to it, how about I make some tea?", she suggest as the three of you nodded.

"We have the boxes here, they're sorted by colours", Lando opened the first box, "these are only for the Originals collection, right?", you checked over, peaking at the blue hoodie he pulled out.

"The sizing is right, right?", Max wondered as Lando stretched it out, "Y/N, can you try these, please? We need to check if the model is good for guys and girls".

Getting up from your spot, you grabbed the vibrant blue piece, feeling its soft texture against your fingertips, "I have wider hips that average, I'm not sure I'm the greatest test model for that", you shrugged your shoulders, "keep that in mind". Taking off your sweater so your torso was covered in a strappy top, you pulled the new garment on, adjusting the strings around the neck so you could pull it all the way down, "Oh, it's so soft", you noticed, "and warm, too. And feels quite good actually, it's not too tight", fumbling with the ribbed material on the bottom as you checked yourself out on the windows now that it was dark outside.

Lando gulped as you did so. Oh, had Lando noticed your hips. To anyone else, it would be another feature of your body, but he was enamoured by them. Your body's curvy outline enticed him and he would be lying if he said that it wasn't the first thing he noticed at first glance when you arrived for you last interview, especially with the tapered pants you had been wearing.

"Looks nice. What do you think, mate?", Max turned to Lando, hoping to get an answer but finding him looking at you, "is there something wrong? I told you I'm not the best mo-".

"It's gorgeous, looks gorgeous", he breathed out just as his mother walked inside carrying a tray with tea and some biscuits, "Here's the tea, guys", she said, setting it on the table, "wow, that's a very nice piece!", she complimented.

"It is, isn't it, Cisca?", Max said, covering up her son as he kept looking at you as you tested the front pocket, not noticing his gaze on you.

"You also have a very beautiful model, you can't ignore that factor in the equation", she complimented you while you grabbed a mug, taking a sip of the warm liquid and hoping it hid your pink cheeks, "thank you", you whispered.

While Lando helped his father with dinner, Max convinced his mother to show you both family albums, and once you had the delicious food they prepared, you excused yourself so you could use the shower, wanting to wash the day of travelling away. Max and Cisca stayed in the living room while Lando helped his father prepare dessert, checking on the apple crumble in the oven so it could get golden brown and not burnt, "so, any life updates recently?", the older man asked.

Lando wasn't around as much as they both would've liked, so often times his visits also came along with news and updates, "not much, racing has been good, it's nice to have a break now, even if it's just two weeks", he offered, looking at the oven.

"And nothing else? I mean, no one special? Your mother is usually the blunt one, but I'm going to try it myself: Y/N is just a Quadrant Team Member?", Adam questioned, noticing his son's cheeks become redder.

"Is it that noticeable? I just hope she doesn't see it as much as you do", Lando groaned, rubbing his cheeks, "maybe you should hope she notices, you know? Maybe she'll admit she likes you, too. You never know", Adam patted his son's back, grabbing the gloves so he could take the tray out of the oven, "she seems like a really nice girl, kind, good work ethic, intelligent, and she's beautiful", he finished as his son sighed, grabbing the vanilla ice cream from the freezer, "she's all of that and so much more".

.

"Kygo is doing a set tonight", you heard Max say as you walked inside the living room, taking the spot on the sofa next to Lando since his mother had taken your previous spot when you went to use the bathroom, "I've been meaning to ask you guys if you wanted to go, actually. He texted me saying to tell him if we were planning on going", Lando stated.

"Go and enjoy being young, life is not all about work if you can't enjoy yourself", Cisca shared, "dad and I won't complain if you make noise when you get back", she winked.

"Would you like to go, Y/N? You can say no, that's fine, too", Lando turned to you. He knew Max would be down on a heartbeat, but he didn't want you to feel pressured to do something you didn't want to because you were at his parents' place as a guest.

"I'm good, I like his music, too. I've been wanting to see him live for a bit, actually", you smiled, thinking about how lucky you were to be able to have these experiences because of your job and friends.

Later that night, you're getting ready in your room, sitting on the carpeted floor and applying your make-up for the occasion. The dressier outfit you had brought with you consisted of a burnt red top and some pants as it had become the outfit you had felt the most comfortable and confident in to go out. The top complimented your chest and your midsection as your pants looked really good around your hips and butt, your legs elongated by the small heeled shoes you had spent years looking for. They were comfortable, pretty and functional, ticking all the boxes for what you needed for tonight.

"Y/N, can I come in?", your heard Lando knock on the door, welcoming himself when you said he could, "we are leaving in about ten minutes, if that's okay", he said, taking a good look at you as you fiddled with your earring, "yes, fine by me", you smiled looking back in the mirror propped on the bedside table and finally clasping it, looking back at him.

You took his breath away. It was as simple as that. Your hair had your natural curls he loved so much, your makeup complimented your naturally soft beautiful features and your outfit made you look incredible.

"You guys ready?", Max patted the door, propping himself on it as you grabbed your shoes, "I'll put them on downstairs", you said, carrying them in your right hand as you had your small purse on the left.

While you did the small, dainty tie on your shoes, Lando's eyes went straight for your chest, the slightly bent down position granting him an agonisingly teasing angle as he tried his best to look away, "you might want to be less obvious, you don't need to creep her out to get her to be yours", Max whispered in Lando's ear.

As soon as you arrived, Lando and Max walked with you to the VIP area, asking you what you wanted to drink before they went up to get it.

Lando looked great on his white shirt, the light coloured shirt looking great against his tanned skin as the relaxed fit complimented his back, prompting you to make sure you weren't drooling in public. You worked for his company, it would never be a good idea to get romantically involved with him, no matter how many times your heart leaped.

"A very weak Gin and Tonic for you, as requested", Max said as he pushed the cup towards you, carrying nother drink for himself, Lando sitting next to you on the booth and empty handed, "you're not drinking?", you asked, "I'm driving us all home today, I'm want to do it safely", he stated, tapping his hands on the table when he saw Kygo, signalling him to approach you.

"Hey Lando, Max", he smiled, "I'm Y/N, I work for Quadrant", you smiled, greeting him with a half hug as he introduced himself too, "my set is in a few minutes, you got here just in time. If you want to see it up close, Y/N, let me know and I'll make it happen", he winked at you.

The wink was not missed by Lando or Max. While Max wanted to laugh at his friend's jealous expression, threatening to send the norwegian DJ to a place that was less than nice and sunny, Lando couldn't believe his eyes. Yes, it was only fair that others, too, saw your beauty and noticed you, but to put themselves out like that, that was a different story. You didn't seem to bothered by all of it, sipping on your drink as you spoke to Max, pointing out different people you remember from Silverstone earlier that year.

"Kygo's starting, I want to dance!", you said, getting up and gesturing for the boys to join you. While you were used to having a lot less space to dance in, the welcomed freedom was appreciated as you playfully placed your pointer finger on Max's head, making him do a little spin, "now, no need to be jealous, Lando, you can twirl, too!", you yelled over the music blasting from the speakers, doing the same and sinking your finger on Lando's curls.

"I'm going to get another drink, want anything?", Max asked, excusing himself when you shook your head, "you know you can drink, I'm the designated driver", Lando offered, "I know, thank you for that. I just don't want to drink more", you smiled, recognising the next song, feeling brave and pulling Lando by his hand so he could dance with you.

I never knew anybody 'til I knew you

I never knew anybody 'til I knew you

And I know when it rains, oh, it pours

And I know I was born to be yours

Lando twirled you would face him, chest flush against his as his colourful eyes looked into yours intensely, "I know this is very forward, and very unlike me to be fair, but I need to get it out", he gulped as he spoke loudly in your ear, looking for any sign of discomfort from you, "I really like you, like, a lot. And I would like to know if you feel the same. Because Max and my parents seem to think you do, but all I know they're just saying so that I shut up about how much I love you and how much it would mean to me", he spoke loudly against your ear as the song played.

You were struck by his confession, not expecting it to ever happen, much less like this and in these circumstances.

"If you consider this a hostile work environment, I didn't want that, but I had to be honest with you", he gulped, "just say you don't feel the same and I'll drop the subject, okay? I might have to pretend to go somewhere else so I can be away from you a bit until things are not awkward, but don't worry, I won't drink because I'm driving and-", Lando belted out before you interrupted him, moving your face closer to his neck this time and speaking into his ear, "It's not hostile if it's consensual, right?", you smiled, a glint in your eye as his own widened, chuckling as he sang the the words in your ear, taking the opportunity to kiss your cheek near your earlobe.

"Took you two fucking long enough!", Max yelled as he approached you, tapping Lando's back in congratulations, "you know what this means, Y/N? I won't have to listen to him mope about how he thinks he was made for you and you were made for him, and that the universe would have to be playing a very bad joke of you two didn't end up together!".

"What makes you think I'll stop that? I just got the girl of my dreams, now I'll have the confirmations of all I've said! You'll just hear how amazing all of it is!", Lando smiled, hugging you close to him and kissing the top of your head.

[superprincesspea]

Courted by the Dragon

Chapter 19 - Criminals

Aemond Targaryen is both the cause and witness to the greatest humiliation of your life. You would rather die than see him again. Yet summer at court and the precipice of civil war have other ideas.

Masterlist

~~~

Only when Vhagar settles on the beach, do you notice the crumbling ruins of an old castle, its shattered walls peeking through the trees like a mischievous child.  

People had lived here once, you think, and for a moment, you almost envy them, spending their lives in a place where the forest meets the sand. How strange and beautiful, you’d never seen anything quite like it. But even the beauty of such a place, could not distract from its location.  

How much time had passed since you’d left the party? Surely close to an hour by now, yet here you were, on a beach instead of your chambers. 

“This is not the Red Keep,” you say, anxiety quietly twisting in the pit of your stomach. 

But Aemond laughs, not nearly as concerned as you are on matters such as time or propriety.  

“You have a keen eye, Lady Baratheon,” he says, and his tone is flippant, teasing. 

"Need I remind his grace that he was supposed to be returning me home?”  

“All the way to Storms End? Now that would be quite a ride.” 

You turn to face him, “you're not funny.” 

But he was funny, at least in his opinion, and his cheek twitches with amusement, while his eye widens with feigned innocence, “I'm simply trying to clarify what my lady means by home .” 

“Is that so?” you begin, a little tartly, well, very tartly, “because I’d say you were being a fastidious arse who knows fine well what I mean by home.” 

Any ordinary man might have been aggrieved by such an accusation, but not Aemond. His grin is entirely guilty and fiendishly unapologetic.  

“Fastidious arse ?” he repeats, “that is what you call your prince when you want him to return you home?” 

Your eyes widen, but there’s not enough alarm in the world to douse the fire suddenly burning in your belly, “I will not beg you if that’s what you imagine.” 

“On the contrary, I'm quite content to know that my lady will have me grovelling at her feet for the duration of our marriage.” 

So cocky. Even if you actually wanted to marry him, you wouldn’t do it. 

“Oh?” you say, “and who is this lady that has agreed to be your wife?” 

He purses his lips, and there’s a wicked spark behind his eye, before his hand settles on his thigh, reminding you just how dangerously close you’re sitting to him. “I’m working on it,” he nods to the ropes on Vhagar’s neck, “now climb down so I may continue.” 

“And if I refuse?”  

Aemond’s head tilts, his hands suddenly grasping your hips with far too much enthusiasm, “then I might start believing that my lady would rather stay seated on my lap?”  

“I’m not your lady,” you insist, sliding your fingers around his wrists to pull him away. But he seems to have just as much enthusiasm for the way you're fighting him than he did for touching you. 

He struggles against your grip with a soft breathy chuckle, his efforts not enough to free himself, but enough to make you hold him tighter. Firm and steady, the illusion that you could ever truly hold power over him.  

“Vhagar needs to rest,” he says, as though it explains your stop at the beach, but it only forces you to glare at him. 

“You’re lying.”  

He doesn’t even try to deny it, he only grins wider, testing the strength of your grip again. 

“I’m not going to ask you to take a dip in the water, if that’s what you imagine... unless you want to, of course,” he teases, and why you let him crawl under your skin with such ease, you cannot say. But it seems that's all it takes, to get you to do exactly what he wants.  

Blowing out a breath of frustration, your leg swings over the pommel, and if you weren’t so irritated by him, you might have been more afraid. As it happens, you’re beginning to think you rather prefer Vhagar over her master. At least she doesn't speak, or look so dammed smug. 

This is what you think, as you climb all the way down her long neck with the kind of frenzied confidence only anger can provide, and before you know it, your feet have hit the ground and you don’t wait around. You storm down the beach, away from the tooth and fire end of the dragon, and more importantly, away from Aemond. 

"Will my lady be walking all the way back to Kings Landing?” he calls after you, and you do not slow.  

Maybe you will walk back. Maybe you’ll walk right into Alicent’s chambers and say that her precious son stole you away on dragonback- though she’d probably like that. She may have even been the one to suggest it! And the very thought makes you want to scream, so you do, feeling powerless as you kick up a big clump of sand.  

“If that is your wish, then you are heading in quite the wrong direction,” he calls again, the sound of his voice so much closer than before, and you stop, anger quickly turning into rage. 

“Just when I think that perhaps you might be somewhat tolerable, and that maybe we can actually be friends,” you snap, hair tangling wildly with the wind, as you turn to face him, “you prove yourself to be the most insufferable man that has ever lived!”  

“Are we not to be friends on a beach?” he says, as though your reaction was a surprise to him, though you can see he’s enjoying it either way, and why wouldn’t he? You’re completely at his mercy. 

“Were we friends, you would not trap me here!” you shout over the crash of a wave before crouching down to scoop up a ball of sand, which you promptly throw at him. 

He dodges it, arms spreading wide, “I see no shackles, no prison walls.” 

“Do not press me,” you throw another ball, which he dodges yet again, “or take me for more of a fool than I have already been!” And you were a fool, yet again you were the most foolish girl on the beach. 

It was hard to remember what exactly you had been thinking in agreeing to leave the party with him. Certainly nothing rational. But Aemond didn’t want you rational, he wanted you here, miles from home, with the sea lapping at the shore and the stars your only witness. 

He could keep you here all night, and even if he didn’t lay a single finger on your skin, you would be his, no questions asked. 

“I do not think you a fool,” his voice is soft, coaxing, “I think you’re...” 

“ What ?” 

His lips curl, “the most terrible aim imaginable.” 

You throw a third ball of sand, and as if to prove his point, it misses, and he proceeds to laugh. So, you throw a fourth, a fifth, and a sixth in quick succession. 

“If you actually manage to hit me with the next one, then you have my word that I will take you home this instant,” he baits, knowing you’re just as competitive as he, and you suppose that’s part of the fun, if you could call it fun. You'd rather call it attempted murder with the only weapon you had at hand. 

Crouching down to scoop up a fresh ball, you don’t waste it on a shot that might miss, you charge towards him, and Aemond runs away, clambering up a grouping of large rocks which form a sort of staircase towards the old ruins.

“Craven!” you shout, pursuing him as quickly as you can go, but finding your dress, and Aemond’s cloak, enough to hamper your every step.

You’re panting by the time you make it over the rocks and onto level ground. But you’re not giving up. You’d rather eat this ball of sand than let him win. 

So you edge closer to the thick of trees surrounding the old keep, hoping his hair might give him away in the dark, but he’s vanished, or to put it another way, he’s hiding. 

Returning to the beach and waiting him out would surely be a more sensible strategy. Yet, your patience has already worn too thin for strategy, and you can feel him watching. No doubt wearing that oh so familiar smirk he seems to acquire whenever you feel your blood begin to boil. 

“Come out, come out, wherever you are,” you say, the words more demanding than playful, and the sound only met by the screech of an owl, and the rustle of leaves. 

Still, despite the rush of nerves which shiver along your spine, you keep moving. Creeping towards a watch tower covered in ivy, while the ground below your feet, changes from grass to checkerboard tiles in the places where nature has not quite reclaimed the earth. 

If it wasn’t so dark, you might have found it more enchanting. But with the tree cover filtering the moonlight, and another screech of the owl, your heart begins to thud. 

This was yet more madness. There could be wolves or boars or bears lurking in this place, and you have to dare yourself to keep going, deciding to never speak with Aemond again if he jumps out and startles you.  

But it's a whistle which catches your attention, and you spin around, looking up to see him standing on the second floor of the tower.   

“How did you get up there?” you demand, moving to where the stairs have caved in, leaving only two steps to bring you closer to him, and both of them slippery with moss. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” he taunts, walking to the edge of the floor before crouching down. 

“Do your worst,” he dares, and if he stays still, you’re feeling quietly confident with your chances as you take the time to roll the sand between your hands, fashioning it into a perfect sphere. 

Then you arch your arm back, and launch the ball as hard as you can, before watching the way it soars through the air, fast and sure, but too heavy, too flimsy. Aemond doesn’t even bother to flinch as it collides with the floor, eliciting yet more laughter. 

“This is why I hate you, you know!” you say, wiping your sand coated hands onto the soft folds of his cloak, and finding at least some pleasure in that. 

Still laughing at you, Aemond scrambles down from the tower with relative ease, before stalking closer, slowly , as though it's you who’s the most dangerous creature in these woods.  

“You don’t hate me,” he decides, “you just hate losing.” 

“I can hate two things at once, and I only lost because you ,” you point your finger at him, “had the advantage.” 

“What advantage?”

“Well, for starters, you’re wearing boots, not these,” you hitch up your skirt and kick out your foot to show your shoes, dainty and made for dancing, “nor do you have to wear a gown. I should very much like to see how you’d fare if you had to scale a tower without any trousers on-” 

Just as the words leave your lips, you hear them, “I mean , you know what I mean.” 

With his laughter simmered to a soft chuckle, he lets your blunder stew in the air before inching closer. 

“Then perhaps I should remind my Lady Baratheon that she has two eyes, and the aim of a blind woman.” 

You scoff, taking full offence even if he is right, “and I suppose you're an authority on throwing balls of sand?” 

“I’d say that hardly matters anymore, and now you’re obliged to stay until I say we leave.” 

It was strange, but you’d somehow forgotten the reason you'd been chasing him in the first place, and anxiety quickly returns to the pit of your stomach. “And if someone notices I’m gone?” 

“It’s still early. They'll be drinking and dancing for quite some time I should imagine.” 

Deep down, you knew he was right, but there was always a chance, even if it was a small one, that one of your family would retire before the party was finished, then what? “That’s easy for you to say, you’re a prince, you can do as you please.” 

“Don’t worry,” Aemond promises, his voice serious even if his eye betrays him, “if my lady's virtue was to come into question, then you can be assured I would do the honourable thing and marry her.”  

“The honourable thing?” you repeat with a sharp laugh, “a punishment far worse than the accusation, I’m sure!”  

He moves closer, the toe of his boot grazing against the hem of your gown, “but not the crime?”  

You try to laugh, but really, it wasn’t hard to imagine such crimes as letting him kiss you, or the way you might fall together on the soft mossy ground. In fact, it was all too easy. 

“We are not speaking of this,” you whisper, though you hadn’t meant for your voice to lose all strength, or your body to lose all resistance, when his hands bunch into your cloak. No, his cloak. His smell.  

“Only thinking it,” he suggests, fingers curling tighter, reeling you in, “I must admit, I seem to think of little else.”    

You can’t look him in the eye, if you do, you might say something crazy like ‘so do I.’ Instead, you say, “then his grace needs better hobbies to occupy his time.” 

Aemond snorts, “perhaps you could teach me to embroider, that would certainly take up some time.” 

Trying to act more annoyed than you feel, you attempt to wrench the cloak from his grip, “perhaps lessons in manners would be better suited?” 

“Oh, I’d say it's far too late for that, wouldn’t you?”  

And he does let go of the cloak, but only so his hands can slide to cup your cheeks, and force you to look at him.  

“It’s never too late...” your words trail off, evaporating into the crisp night air. In fact, the whole forest seems to have fallen silent, perhaps the whole world, and you know you can pull away from him. But your heart is pounding, and there is something dangerous, something wanton, curling in your veins.   

Perhaps Aemond feels it too, perhaps he notices the way your breathing has slowed, just as you notice the way he’s looking at you, so tenderly- 

“Do you think Vhagar supposes where we have gotten to?” you blurt, and his eye brightens in surprise, as you tear yourself from his hands, before quickly turning towards the beach. 

Though your swift exit is certainly hampered by the rocks, which seem even more difficult to descend than they had been to climb. You almost fall down them, before Aemond overtakes you, his hands catching your waist to stop your escape. 

Or perhaps he’s just trying to stop you from breaking your neck. Either way, you can’t help but be reminded of the last time you’d been running away from him at the beach. 

The sound of the waves had been just the same, and your heart had been beating just as quickly, but your reasoning had been different. He'd been a stranger then, now he was the opposite, too familiar.  

“Perhaps it would be best to return to the party,” you say, as though returning to the party was not the least of what you wanted to do.  

“Why?” he almost laughs, “ so you can dance with Lucerys Velaryon?” 

You’d forgotten all about Luke and his half-hearted offer of a dance, but Aemond hadn’t, couldn’t , and even though his tone was light, there was quiet fury in his eye. Fury which could be abated so easily, except you didn’t want that, you wanted to turn the tide of conversation. Needing to shift it from a place where you might easily fall into his arms.  

“Why do you hate him so?” you say, even if you’re almost certain you know the answer. 

“You know why.”  

“I know rumours.” You’d heard a dozen since arriving in Kings Landing, but you’d often wondered at the truth, Aemond’s truth, even if it didn’t feel like your place to know.  

“Of the night I came to lose my eye?” he says, and hearing it said like that, you realise this was a stupid, awful , thing to bring up.  

“I shouldn’t have asked you that, I’m so sorry.” 

“Why ?” his head tilts, “you think me ashamed of the way I look?” 

“I...” you stutter, “didn't say that. I don’t-” 

He scoffs, “everyone pretends they cannot see my eye, when for most people, it’s the only thing they ever look at.”  

"It’s not the only thing I see,” you say, and you’re not sure why it's so important for him to know this. You were supposed to be hating him after all, but you can’t stand to think he’d ever imagine you don’t see him. All of him.   

He doesn’t say anything, and his attention turns towards the sea, his hands no longer interested in your company, and you can sense the old wound, still fresh and sore, as though it had happened only yesterday.  

Now it was you who felt like the most repugnant person in the world, and you hate yourself for the way his shoulders have stiffened, the breeze feeling so much cooler than before. Because no matter how you might have felt about Aemond Targaryen, you were sure you never wanted to hurt him. 

"Aemond ,” you reach for him, your hand finding purchase on his arm, and his muscles tense beneath the leather. Perhaps you shouldn’t notice such a thing at a time like this, but you can feel his strength, feel how he could break you apart if he really wanted to.  

“You don’t have to tell me anything,” you say softly, wanting to bring him back from whatever dark place you’d sent him. But it's too late. 

He stares at the way your hand is touching him, before his eye slowly scrapes to meet with yours.   

“I was ten when I saw Vhagar on the beach,” he begins, his voice small, raw, and hearing him like this, somehow feels more intimate than any of the times he’d held you in his arms. 

“You were so young,” you say, picturing the white-haired boy, who’d dared to face the largest dragon in the world.  

“Not for a Targaryen,” he swallows, his words garnering more control, “you can’t imagine what it’s like to grow up in this family without a dragon, even the bastards had them. So, when I saw her, all alone, it was like she was waiting for me, while the rest of the world looked the other way.”   

You glance at her, sleeping peacefully on the brow of a hill, but still so fierce, so terrifying.  

“At the risk of giving you another compliment,” you say, trying to lighten the mood you have created. “I cannot believe you had the courage to tame her.”  

“You never tame a dragon.”  

You frown, uncertain, “but she is yours, is she not?”  

“It's a bond, one that will last a lifetime. And I don’t know if it was courage, so much as desire...” he steps up, so he’s standing on the same rock as you. Then his eye crinkles with the beginnings of a smile, or perhaps it's just pride for the boy he was that night. “The first few minutes of the flight almost killed me. But I clung to her so tightly, and then we were flying as one, and I knew she was mine.”  

You both turn to her now, and she snorts as though she’s listening. Perhaps she is. Perhaps her eyes are closed but her ears are open. 

“When we landed,” he continues, and together you settle down on the edge of a rock, knee pressed against knee, “I was so excited and... perhaps a little too proud, I could hardly wait to tell everyone of my triumph. But my nephews were already waiting for me, with Rhaena and Baela, and they already knew what I had done.”  

“What you had done ? You make it sound as though bonding with her was a bad thing?”  

He tilts his head, looking at you strangely, quizzically , “Rhaena wanted Vhagar for herself.”  

“But ... she chose you .”  

“And so we fought.”  

“You fought all four of them?”  

When his eye narrows into a pointed look, you cannot help but laugh, “of course you did.” This was Aemond, a child who’d mounted the largest dragon in the world, he wasn’t about to run from anything or anyone.  

“Hand to hand at first, and naturally ,” he shrugs, “none of them were any match for the hours I’d spent in the training yard. But even so, I was only one boy against four, and they just kept coming.” 

“After a while, I picked up a rock, I just wanted to frighten them,” he holds out his hand, his fingers curling at the ends, as though he can remember the very shape and weight of it, “but Jace drew his sword, just a little thing, a needle really.”  

He looks at you, and your stomach tightens, afraid of what he’s going to say next. 

“He tried to swing at me, but I was taller and faster, so I knocked him down, and the sword fell away. I thought if I just kept hold of the rock, then surely they would run. It was already over, you see? Vhagar was already mine. And I’d bested them, they knew that.”  

Suddenly his hand tightens into a fist, and you imagine the rock crumbling into dust, before he wipes his palm along his thigh as though he cannot even stand to touch the memory of it. 

Then he laughs sadly, “but my nephews and I have never held any love for each other. So, when Jace saw an opportunity to throw dirt in my eyes, Luke picked up the sword, and -" 

His hand reaches towards your face so quickly you startle. But his touch is not pain or blood, it's a slow caress across your eye, sealing it shut. Yet only for a moment, instead of forever.  

“An eye for a dragon is a fair exchange,” he shrugs, but the words feel too well practiced; the hurt pushed away as though its nothing more than a speck of dust.  

Yet it was so much more, and you have to swallow the swell of tears which has caught at the back of your throat, as you think of that little boy, so proud, so excited, then broken .  

“No ,” you say, your voice strained, “what they did to you wasn’t right, and it certainly wasn’t fair.”  

The way he looks at you, almost surprised, makes your heart ache all over again. And if he was one of your sisters, you would wrap him in your arms, and hold him so tightly he'd have to fight to break free. But doing so, would cross a line you were trying desperately to avoid. 

“You know, the strange thing is, I don’t even hate them for taking my eye. We were children, and the fight was far out of hand, but they never apologised. Even now, they laugh about it, like it was a joke, like it meant nothing .” 

You hadn’t wanted to cry, but your eyes are too full, and a tear dares to break free, rolling lazily down your cheek, before its silvery trail is interrupted by the brush of Aemond’s thumb.  

“Lady Baratheon... don’t tell me you’re crying for the most repugnant man in the world?”  

Sniffling, you force a laugh before wiping the back of your hand across your eyes. “ I'm not .” 

“You know, now that I think of it,” his voice is lighter, his eye more playful, “it seems I have a habit of finding all the best things waiting for me on beaches.” 

You roll your eyes, before finding a length of cloak not sullied by the sand to pat your cheeks dry, "I’m not a dragon.”  

“Not yet .”  

The way he says that last word, so certain, you almost believe him, and force another laugh to hide any other emotion which might slip onto your face. Because sitting and talking with him like this was far too easy and far too comfortable.  

“Speaking of which,” he continues, “since my many charms have yet to convince you to stay in Kings Landing, does that mean I am to invite myself to suffer a winter in the Stormlands? Or will you be so kind as to bestow me an invitation yourself?” 

“Suffer?” you repeat with mock surprise, “I happen to like the stormy weather; I think it very beautiful.” And cosy, there was nothing better than a warm bed and a raging storm to pound against the walls.  

He brushes your hair from your shoulder, his eye tracing your face, “I’m growing rather a taste for storms myself.” 

“You should think me tame if you ever flew through a storm over Winter Solstice.” 

“That I refuse to believe,” he says, close enough that even a whisper is easily heard over the waves, and leaving you to wonder why every moment, seemed to shift into a moment which felt like he might just lean in and kiss you.  

“Well ,” you stand, pulling yourself from his gentle touches, “thanks to your mother, and this gown,” you gesture along the green silk beneath your cloak, “we are not leaving tomorrow after all.”   

Aemond’s eye widens, the blue so much brighter than before, “you’re staying?” 

“Only so we can entertain Tyland Lannister.” 

His jaw ticks, “Tyland Lannister?”  

“It's just tea ,” you add, thinking Tyland might not have been your favourite person, but he wasn’t bad, and you hardly wanted him to suffer over tea and cake.  

But Aemond doesn’t seem so convinced, and his laughter is almost a growl as he stands, and begins to climb back down the rocks, before turning to offer you his hand, “then we should leave at once, I wouldn’t want my lady to miss an afternoon in the company of another man.” 

“I’m not your lady,” you remind him, climbing down haphazardly without his assistance, “and if you must know, it was my mother who invited him.” 

“Your mother?” he ponders this information as you walk back towards Vhagar side by side, “then we shall have to remedy that .” 

Alarmed, you stare at him, trying to read his expression, but his face shows no tells. “And what exactly is that supposed to mean?” you say. 

His lips quirk and he has no intention of telling you. Instead, he mounts Vhagar with the same swiftness he’d used in the dragon pit, leaving you to wonder. 

Then again, you don’t wonder for too long, because all too quickly, you begin to remember that you weren’t supposed to be on a beach with Aemond in the first place.  

Then you’re only wondering one thing; if it's late enough for you to be caught. 

~~~

Thank you for reading!

[eff-plays]

Long Taash storyline rant by an enby 2, electric boogaloo

I think I finally figured out what to say about Taash's storyline so walk with me here.

It smacks a little bit of white lib homonationalism. If you don't know what homonationalism is, it's when Western countries see themselves as enlightened for being "more" accepting of queer folks compared to other cultures, and when this is used to justify racist (particularly anti-immigrant) politics. Usually you'll have far-right wackos claiming to be so so so pro-gay rights that they simply MUST keep the immigrants away in order to protect those sweet fragile white gays, who will surely be totally fine under a fashy regime.

Now, I'm not a sociologist and I might be talking out of my ass by making this connection. But as a nonbinary, non-white first generation immigrant, who was raised by a single mother who wanted to be free of the politics of her home country and thus moved in order to create a better future for me, when I played the Taash storyline, I got the distinct feeling that the writer of it either had a blissfully conflict-free coming out, or that they have no idea how complex the interplay of identity and culture can be. Or that they're a white lib who thinks getting somebody's pronouns right is more important than being an open-minded and fundamentally compassionate human being at heart.

Thing is, I understand what they were going for, kind of. In isolation. It was supposed to be a tragic death where Shathann finally revealed that she accepted her child as they were, right before dying, and it left Taash feeling like they were cut off from her when things were finally looking like they could be fixed. At least they know their mother loved and accepted them at the end, which makes it bittersweet, right?

But that's kind of what pisses me off about this, y'see. Because in practice, Shathann died for the sin of unknowingly misgendering her child, and for attempting to call them trans instead of nonbinary specifically. And she died because it was the easy way out for the writer -- kill the complex mother who comes from a culture deemed problematic in order to avoid dealing with how they'd move forward together, and how their cultural upbringings would clash with yet be mitigated by their familial love for each other. Help Taash choose between Rivaini or Qunari now that their mother's influence and opinions are gone and they don't have to wrestle with her culture anymore, just what they themselves think of it.

I don't think Taash's mother has any actual right to decide which culture Taash belongs to, that is Taash's decision, but the writers know that her influence would still make things more complicated for Taash. And we can't have that, right? Taash has to decide for themselves, as is their right, their right as a queer person to make decisions independent of and not affected by their mother's backwards culture. Their queerness takes priority, nay, dictates how they relate to their nationality/cultural belonging. Anything that might infringe upon that holy self-realization must be removed.

Y'see where I'm going with this? Y'see why it makes me a little uncomfy?

Now for the part where I put my on stink on it. My mom does not get my being nonbinary. She asked me a bunch of really ignorant and gross things when I came out in her attempt to understand it, or rather, refute it. The whole discussion lasted for about 2 panic-filled hours, and I don't think I changed her mind on anything. She still makes uncomfy comments about trans people. She still misgenders me, though this is partly due to our mother tongue not having any gender-neutral pronouns.

And yeah, all of this hurts, no doubt about it. But the thing is? My mom still loves me. She shows it with nearly everything she does outside of this enby stuff, but even with this stuff, she never pushes me to be more feminine. She said she'd switch to my new name if I ever decide to change it. She once apologized for putting "female" for me on a form she had to fill out because there were no nonbinary options. She bought me a perfume for men just because I idly remarked it smelled nice.

And I know what you're thinking, and yes this is a difficult situation to be put in. It's hard, but it happens every day, in families like mine. When your parent was raised to believe one thing, and have for decades, and they're confronted with something new, the switch won't be instant, or happen at all. And I knew that before coming out to her.

I was Taash's age when I came out to my mom, so Taash would've known that, too. And what's even more frustrating, is that Shathann doesn't even resist the revalation, like my mom did. She tries to apply a concept she is more familiar with in order to understand Taash, but since that concept isn't 100% exactly what Taash identifies with, she's in the wrong, immediately. Taash blows up at her for not instantly getting the name and concept of a completely new term dropped onto her head. And all we can do is console Taash on how poorly it went, but whose fault is that? Shathann removes herself from the situation when she notices Taash is about to blow a gasket, because what's the point in discussing anything with somebody who's already rejected your attempts at understanding them, while demanding you understand them?

And before somebody says that I don't "get" what Taash is going through, start reading the post from the beginning but really read it this time. For those who might say that Taash is justified in expecting the worst on account of how Shathann has been raising them up until now, then I raise you this: If Taash knew their mother wouldn't initially get it, why did they blow up when she immediately tried to get it? If they expected her to reject them, why are they still mad when she doesn't? Did they expect her to attempt to use a cultural concept she's familiar with in order to understand their identity, but didn't have an explanation ready to also frame it in a way that'd be familiar to her?

Instead, the order of events is essentially this: Shathann raises Taash in an overbearing way and places high expectations of femininity on them > her and Taash clash over this frequently > Taash, knowing how their mother is but feeling the need to come out to her anyway, says they're nonbinary > Shathann is confused yet calm, asks if they're trans > Taash gets instantly upset > Shathann, still confused, leaves the situation > Rook comforts Taash on how bad that went and says their mother will surely come around > Shathann, off-screen, figures out what nonbinary is, dies using the correct pronouns and confirming that she does love them for who they are > Taash is sad their mom dies but hey, at least they know she loved them at the end.

Shathann being a somewhat traditional Qunari, her expecting femininity, are all initially framed as obstacles for Taash to overcome. The overbearing, traditionalist parent must be confronted with the truth and realize their idea of their child is wrong. But before things can get too complicated, too bitter, and Taash has to actually confront this "obstacle", Shathann is instead removed from the equation entirely and killed in order for Taash to have their identity confirmed.

Except in that coming out scene, Shathann's characterization takes a strange, seemingly unintentional turn, and rather than reject her child's identity as the plot structure demands, she tries to understand it through her own limited framework. What's telling is that the narrative frames this as equivalent, that not immediately grasping a new concept and term is the exact same as outright rejecting it. It's framed as it being just another instance of her rejecting Taash's personhood and being dogmatic in her beliefs, but that only works if you're in that white lib mindset of "if you don't immediately understand my specific view of things and use the exact correct words that you might not be familiar with, you're a close-minded asshole and a bigot". If you're like me, whose genuinely very loving mother doesn't grasp the concept of being nonbinary, or if you just have a sliver of basic reading comprehension, you'll realize that Shathann is literally, in that scene, TRYING. But because she doesn't immediately get it right, it's deemed as insufficient, we're made to comfort Taash over their mother's grave insult, and Shathann is then killed for drama, but not before confirming that omg, she got it!! She got the fucking words right, and that means she finally loves them for who they are, which she apparently didn't do before!! All is well!!

Nevermind that Shathann is fine with Taash having female lovers, nevermind that, in Qunari culture, Taash being a dragon-hunting warrior would've effectively made them trans already and Shathann seemingly had no issues with that? (This is probably just a plot hole lbr.) Nevermind that she uprooted her whole life in order to provide a better life for her child, and nevermind the part where she admits she's done a poor job as a mother yet still clearly loves her kid. She didn't immediately get the new words and concepts right!! So she has to use the right words before she dies, in order for Taash to finally know that their mother loves them properly.

It's. Kinda gross. You know? It feels like Shathann, rather than being her own person, is essentially a prop to confirm Taash's identity, while hers is shifted around as the plot needs it. The plot both wants her to be an obstacle for Taash to overcome in affirming their identity, but also for her to affirm said identity. It conflates Shathann not immediately understanding and asking questions as her not accepting her kid, as her not loving her kid. And to fix that idea in Taash's mind, she has to die for them while also using the correct pronouns. That's an insane fucking thing to write.

If Shathann was instantly accepting, then that's boring and low-stakes. We can't have a parent who instantly accepts their kid, we want that family drama and painful coming-out story. Taash needs somebody to assert their identity over. BUT we don't want to deal with a parent not accepting their kid at all, that's just a bummer. So Shathann has to be unaccepting enough for Taash to have a conflict, but accepting enough that Taash doesn't have to assert themselves or fight too hard to be understood and accepted. Because that's just a bummer. And might signal that being nonbinary isn't valid and a-ok and totally cool and epic and awesomesauce and take my upvote and leave my good sir.

What's frustrating is that it could have worked. Have Shathann be like "Well you're a warrior, I thought you were aqun-athlok but didn't want to bring it up" and have Taash be like "No it's different, not like that" and Shathann be like "Ok then explain it to me." And maybe don't have Shathann get it fully at the end, but have her try. Have Taash come back from an off-screen conversation with Shathann and say that "We're good. She doesn't quite get it yet, but I think we'll be ok."

But instead, Shathann gets it!! Woo!! But then dies so. Don't even worry about it. At least Taash's enby-ness is validated with Shathann's dying breath. Because that's what really mattered in the end. Taash being so so so so so valid.

[heavyhitterheaux]

Treat You Better Preview

“Urb, here me out. Why are you so against this? I like Y/N and I'm 98% sure that she likes me back and I'm good enough for her! I'm not like these other dudes out here that don't deserve her. I know and you do too that I'm going to treat her like she deserves.” Jack expressed as he pleaded his case. He knew that it would eventually come down to this.

"You are literally the biggest WHORE that I know of. Ain't no way in HELL. She's been off limits from the beginning and you know that."

"Look who's talking! We're adults now and she can decide for herself who she wants to date." Jack quickly shot back looking at his best friend in disbelief.

"Her track record says otherwise. She's my godsister and I'm going to do what I need to do in order to protect her."

"But from me? Protect her from me? Do you hear yourself right now? So you’re going to shelter her for the rest of her life?”

"Especially from you. I've seen your track record too with relationships and she's not someone that you hit it and quit it. And I’m not sheltering her. I’m protecting her from no good assholes.” Urban replied keeping his voice low in the hopes that you wouldn't hear him.

"I'm not going to do that with her and did you low key just call me an asshole? You know how important she is to me!” Jack was now fuming and shaking his head at him in disbelief.

"Like I said. She's my baby sister and I said no. I don't give a fuck about how you feel. End of discussion.”

“The fuck it is. We can agree to disagree.”

As Urban was getting ready to respond, you walked in the room beaming, holding Jack’s dog CoCo in your arms.

“Jack Jack, are we ready to go?” You asked as you scratched behind her ears.

“Where are you two going?” Urban asked while getting a slight attitude.

“Jack promised me an ice cream date with just the two of us. Since we couldn't do it yesterday.” You responded and Urban shot Jack the evil eye while all he did was come closer to you.

“Are you two okay? You both look tense.” You asked looking at both of their faces and Urban couldn't help but to blurt it out.

“I don't want you dating Jack.” Was all he said and you looked at him dumbfounded.

“Well Urby, that isn't for you to decide. I can date whoever I want. But I would at least think that you would approve of me dating your best friend.”

“I don't want you to get hurt.”

“Jack would never hurt me in a million years and you need to get that through your head and get over it. We mean a lot to each other and I would think that you would be happy. You don't want to see me happy?”

“Yes! Of course I do, but…”

“But what, Urban?”

“He thinks that I'm going to use you essentially and when I get what I want, leave you high and dry. Oh and also said that I'm the biggest whore he knows.” Jack finally spoke up and you looked at Urban who simply shrugged.

“I've seen him do it countless times before and he's not a relationship type of guy.”

“Urban, I love you with all of my heart, but until I ask you for your opinion, stay out of my love life. I am tired of you coddling me like I can't take care of myself. I'm not a baby anymore.”

“Fine, but when he cheats on you and breaks your heart remember that I warned you. Oh, and don't come crying to me because all I'm going to do is say I told you so.” Urban replied as he walked away bumping Jack’s shoulder on purpose but he decided to ignore him.

“Urby!”

“Nope, don't want to hear it.”

“URBAN HENRY WYATT!”

“Enjoy your date.”

As he walked off, you turned back to Jack Who could tell that you were clearly upset.

“Just give him some time. He'll come around.” Jack told you as he kissed your forehead, but he wasn't quite sure if he believed those words himself.

[ceilidho]

Me: I don't like fauxcest so I'll avoid the tag/ block any accounts.

Also me: I want a daddy Dom who's really big on being a prodiver, probably got daddy issues himself, is an older man and financially secure. Makes sure I'm fed, well dressed and happy. Maybe even makes me live with him so he can just freeuse me and have something to look after because he just really wants to-

Like. I know it ain't the same but everyday it feels like it's borderline treading into that territory and idk if I can face myself or have the strength to accept that about myself. Like I use to be a puritan prude in my youth so the fact I ended up with a daddy kink would make my teen self disgusted. But ya know, shit happens.

I probably won't ever pass over that territory as I do get icked out by the idea of referring to a sexual partner as 'dad' or anything like that. So it's clearly not for me but I need some people to look at themselves TRUELY look at the stuff they're into or want in a partner coz probably like me, they are one kink/good fic/wild fantasy away from the "gross icky kinks!!" They wanna ban so much

Ever since I became an adult and started exploring what I like, letting myself read fics I was like "I'm not gonna like this but I'm desperate for content" and then come out of a changed person - I do start caring less. Do I still have my own opinions and icks and such? Yeah but like, the best thing about the Internet is that you can just block tags, block people or images that don't agree with you. Keep to your bubble of people who agree with you and such, but like, if you're not atleast aware or open to the fact your views may be hypercritical or even abit weird or taboo yourself - that's just destined to fail.

I think a lot of people can't separate identity from interests either, or they feel incredibly locked in with their identity.

like, you're allowed to find things gross, block them, or enjoy reading certain topics but only to an extent (like you won't allow yourself to enjoy anything beyond your limit because you're scared about what you'll uncover about yourself). it's also fine to one day come back to those same things and reevaluate your original opinion.

I'm not sure how to describe this but I feel like a lot of people have this tendency to equate any Thing they enjoy with subsuming that thing into their personality/identity, and if you think that way, then obviously any potential interest seems like a Threat to the persona/identity you've been meticulously building your entire life. which is terrifying! i do understand that there's a large group of people that probably equate reading/enjoying any content that's remotely dark to a real life want.

I personally think the most generous thing you can do for yourself is say "okay, I enjoyed that. it doesn't have to mean anything." you can read the kinkiest erotica ever and then go on to enjoy a vanilla sex life (or no sex life! tons of asexual people enjoy erotica). it simply doesn't have to be a big deal.

and this is also not saying you have to enjoy or force yourself to enjoy content that disgusts you. the brain is just complex. if you're living life in a way that is compassionate and avoids causing harm to other people, but some of your interests/kinks tend to veer towards the dark/taboo, just give yourself the grace to realize that an interest is not this Big, Horrible thing that'll destroy you and turn you into something monstrous.

[bugs1nmybrain]

Fruity Drinks: L x Reader - Drunk Sex (Minors Don't Interact)

Writer's Notes: Can you tell that I'm running out of ideas? First Shigaraki's stoned smut and now L's drunk smut. I don't encourage substance use!! It's just funny to write about with my favorite characters.

Warnings: VERY ooc L, silly L, fem reader, alcohol use, drunk sex (L and reader are both drunk), the reader is described as a young adult, oral sex (m and f receiving), 69, no penetrative sex, comedy smut sorta, lame and cheesy but kind of fluff ending

How L ended up agreeing to this little arrangement was beyond him. It wasn't that he had never consumed alcohol before. There were a few times when he'd buy a sweet drink from a nice restaurant when he went out. Drinking enough to get drunk, though? L couldn't recall ever doing that. He hated the idea of his judgement and self-control being impaired.

However, he had recently solved a very internationally significant case. You insisted that he and you should celebrate. L didn't really understand the point, he solved cases left and right all the time. He had so many under his belt that it didn't necessarily add to his notoriety anymore. In actuality, though, you simply wanted a night where you and L felt like two typical young adults, wanting to have some fun and loosen up. His solving his latest case was merely an excuse, a poor one in L's opinion.

So you and him sat in one of his more cozy rooms at his house. The room was big and decorated nicely. You questioned if L had chosen the interior design or if it was how the room was before he purchased the house. Or maybe a product of Watari's doing? Themes of white and gold rained prominent throughout the room, which added to the novelty. In front of you and L were many drinks, accompanied by juices and soda that you thought would make the drinks more tolerable. L expressed to you that he could hardly bear the taste of alcohol, so you made sure to accommodate him with some easier options.

"So, it must feel nice to have gotten that case out of the way," you comment.

A part of L was agitated by that question, perceiving it as petty small talk. "Yes, it is. Admittedly, every time I solve a case, I feel disappointed knowing there's no more to uncover from said case; that the war has been won. The satisfaction from my victory is more to compensate for it, though. I'll just have to go searching for another, now."

"Mhm. Did you have any ideas on what drinks you were interested in?" you asked.

"Hard to say. Something sweet, for sure."

"No need to over-explain yourself. I'm sure it'll be perfectly fine."

You chuckle at his very obvious statement, "I could've guessed that. I heard that vodka cranberries were sweet, so I chose stuff for that, if it's alright. I will warn you that I am not someone who mixes drinks often. I kind of don't even know what I am doing, but I tried coming prepared."

So you continued to pour L a drink, mixing vodka and cranberry juice like an amateur bartender. You also made yourself one, hoping that the matching drinks would provide some nice bonding between the two of you. When you were done, you handed your lover his drink and he held the glass with his pointer and thumb, eyeballing it for a moment.

"This would have been nice with some cherries," he comments.

"I'll remember that for next time," you chuckle, taking a sip from your drink.

L began drinking his beverage as well, furrowing his brows at the sting of the alcohol in his throat. You eyeball him, finding his face of discomfort adorable.

"Are you alright?" you ask.

"Yes, love. It's not as bad as I thought. I think the cranberry juice dilutes the taste of the alcohol, but there's still a burning sensation."

"Makes sense."

"Why exactly are we doing this again?"

"To have fun. Loosen up a little."

"Ah, I see. You know that I'm not one to do this sort of thing. Especially not anything that would impair my reasoning abilities."

"I know. Is it okay? We can stop if you'd like."

"I didn't mean that, exactly. Honestly, I'm a little curious to what you are like while intoxicated. Is that strange of me to say?" he questions, giving you an engaged expression.

"That's true, though. Perhaps I should indulge your curiosity. You deserve the privilege for being such an outstanding girlfriend, " he eyes you with a neutral expression.

You blush and laugh a bit, "No. I don't mind that."

Honestly, L being nosy was something that was a surprising turn on often.

"I actually wanted to see how you'd be, honestly. I've never seen you drunk or high or anything like that and I was curious on how your behavior would shift."

"You're the perfect psychologist."

You chuckle abruptly in response.

You laugh at his compliments, feeling a sense of comfort in knowing his admiration for you. L continues to drink his vodka cran, watching you as you drink yours as well.

------------

About an hour rolls by and you and L are absolutely hammered. This was a surprise for sure. L had never submitted to this kind of lack of cognitive control, and you had surely never seen this side of him.

The two of you hadn't simply sat there and drank. You had turned on some crime documentary and sat side by side, with your form leaning onto his shoulder. L seemed to really be enjoying his drinks, as he downed one after the other. It was actually very concerning. In truth, he just really liked the taste of them and you two hadn't gotten snacks.

It seemed that L could hold his liquor quite well, and he did when he was simply watching TV. Until now. You sat as the documentary began to give the viewers options as to who they thought the suspect was in the series of murders. L went from dead quiet to deeply and prominently vocal, so much so that it startled you.

"It's him. How..? A seven year old could guess who the murderer is...that one-uh-guy."

Your eyes shot wide open and you tried your hardest to hold in a laugh.

"I'm shutting this off," L announces, clumsily reaching for the remote. He grips it sluggishly and flicks the tv off, slouching back onto the couch. He still sat in his typical position but with his head titled to the side, looking as though he was about to fall over.

You hadn't exactly processed your own intoxication up to this point. It was terribly difficult not to hold back your laughter, and ultimately, you failed. You let out the most uncensored laugh, and L shot his face your way with his finger pressed to his lip.

"What's funny?"

"You. You're cute."

"Oooooh. Yes, you tell me that very often."

"I'm sorry."

"Oh no need..my love. You're, quite "cute" yourself. Did you know that?"

Your flustered face beams a glow, both from the alcohol and your embarrassment. You continue to chuckle for way too many seconds. You sat rigidly in response, thighs pressed together and hands on top of them.

"You..."L begins. You could tell that him never being drunk before contributed to his very apparent intoxication.

"You're so pretty. Your hair,,, and your eyes...you're..how did I manage to end up with such a beautiful lady?? You're so gorgeous, Y/N."

He was plastered. This was hilarious. You thought he was lying but when you looked at him and saw his cheeks flushed and eyes heavy, along with his finger teasing his lips, you could tell he was genuine. He was cute, so much so that you couldn't control more flustered laughter escaping your lips.

"Am I funny?" L asked. You couldn't tell if he was insulted or not. You hoped that it wasn't the case, as your laughter was far from out of a malicious nature.

"Yeah. I think you're the funniest person I know. You make me laugh without even meaning to, like all the time."

"Hmm...you like me that much? Do I have really have that affect on you?"

Even though you were very drunk, you could hear the tone of his voice become rather flirtatious, though uncoordinated.

"I've noticed, Y/N. You're rather addicted to my attention. And when you look at me, your face lights up. Your body tenses. Your speech becomes stammered. I'm not referring to the alcohol, nuh uh. You love me."

"Yes, of course, I love you. Why wouldn't I?"

You felt hurt a little, so you held your head down. It made you upset, because yes, he was a rather sneaky and occasionally manipulative partner. He wasn't harsh or anything, or trying to corrupt you, at least you thought. But he would try and pry out information and reactions from you, and get you to say things that would help him understand your tricks and own manipulation tactics.

"Because I am a treacherous, inhumane liar. Who's to say..I'm not lying right now? About how pretty you are, hm?"

L is always a thousand steps ahead of you, easily picking up on your suspicions of the genuineness in his compliments.

"Lovee...don't frown. I didn't meaan that. I actually, have proof. That you're pretty."

"Huh?"

"Yes. Do you want to see the evidence?????"

The drunkenness of yourself and his slurred speech confused you and so you cocked an eyebrow and let out another, "Huh?"

"Come here..Sit right here, next to me."

So you complied. You scooched directly next to L. He reaches to cup your shoulder and presses you close to him. He takes your hand carefully and sets it down over his crotch. Your heart jumps at the touch of his stabbing bulge, straining against his jeans.

"You see, do you see my point?"

You could feel his point, for sure. An unexpected moan escapes your lips, and you can feel yourself become wet instantly from the knowledge of his attraction to you. It didn't help that you loved his cock, either. You feel incredibly embarrassed at the noise you made uncontrollably, and bury your face into your hands.

"No, don't do that, my love." He takes your hand and sets it on his bulge again. "I want you. Would you be willing to indulge me? In your beauty?"

"Mmmmm...yea. Yea, I'd..like that a lot," Your verbal communication has gone out the window and you are unable to manage your composure at all. "Y-yes..yes please..."

"You're so cute," without much warning, L crawls on top of you, fumbling as he does so. He hovers over you and looks you in the eyes for a moment as his hair falls downward. With lustful, lidded eyes he makes his way to kiss the nape of your neck. Even intoxicated, he manages to maintain his romantic and calculated movements, even if they are a little sloppy.

"Mmm!"

"That's it..."

L's desperate need for stimulation encourages him to grind his clothed cock on your thigh for relief. He groans as he kisses your neck, lightly nipping at it. Your gasps cause him to twitch in his pants and he yearns out in painful arousal.

"Mmm, you're soooo pretty. Can I see your breasts? They're so nice. I want to see them."

It was a little humorous when L would talk about your body. He hardly used slang terms, such as tits. His use of clinical language was cute, though awkward. You nod with an eager, "mhm."

It took him a bit to remove your shirt and unhook your bra. Surprising for him, L is usually so good at coordinated actions. Once you were exposed for him, he merely stared at you for many seconds, cock pulsing at the sight of you.

"Oh my goodness," he comments, making you embarrassed.

You can feel your face flush and grow hotter and hotter, as well as your cunt. You couldn't help it when you began squirming your thighs together in arousal, and L let out a sigh at the impact of your movements against his erection. His penis was painfully sensitive, perhaps caused by blood flow from the alcohol.

You gripped his pants, pulling the hem to release his member so you could touch him. You tuck your hand under his waistband and wrap your fingers gently around him. He sighed heavily as you stroked him clumsily. His hips rocked himself into your hand, basking in how good it felt.

"Are you,, do you feel good?" you ask with a slurred tone.

"You have no idea."

He continues nipping at your neck. His hands were relentless, searching for any part of your body to squish or tease.

"Are you turned on?" L asks with a tone of voice that makes him almost sound guilty. He knew full well he was losing control of his gravitation toward you and perhaps wasn't being the most romantic or courteous.

"How about you look for evidence?"

"Hmm.."

L did just that, hand slipped into your pants to feel your pussy. When he discovered you had a hot, wet secretion that drenched you, he slowly plunged two fingers inside out you. You whimper in tension, but once he began rubbing your special spot, your body relaxed to his touch.

His fingers pulled out, making sure to rub your clitoris a bit. The lubricant from your pussy made his motions much more fluid. Fuck, even while he was hammered he was so precise. Sloppier than usual, but still knew exactly what they were doing.

"I...i want to taste you so badly right now," he yearns as he stops fingering you. He begins moving his way down to your crotch but you grip his hair before he can make it.

"I want to..to make you feel good, too. Let me do it to you."

"What? No. I want to bury my face in you, like right now. I don't have time for your mouth."

wow.

"I think people do like, 69? Right?"

"I'm not extremely educated in that department. But...that could be nice.."

You and L exchange a few more lusty kisses until he pushes you to lie on top of him. "You should turn the other way, right?"

Without a response you turned your body so that your ass was facing him. Your cunt hovered above him, to which he glanced at for a few moments. He cupped his hands around your ass and pulled you down so that your heat was pressed against his mouth.

You yelp quietly at the contact. You hadn't ever tried 69 and the position was rather vulnerable. However, the way L was devouring your cunt made it clear he wasn't bothered in the slightest.

He lied down with his legs crunched so that his knees were bent. You took his cock in your hand, giving it a few tender strokes and finally stuffing it in your mouth. L moaned against your pussy, enhancing the stimulation. He sucked on your clit vigorously while holding you in place.

L was interesting in that he adored eating you out. You felt bad as if you were a burden for wanting that kind of pleasure. He never objected, though. He had a pretty significant oral fixation, and running his tongue along your cunt was strangely soothing. Plus, the added bonus of the pride he felt when he made you cum was incredibly rewarding.

Blowing him was kind of difficult right now. Your mouth had a hard time coordinating, but you managed to bob your head along him. He must've been enjoying it by the muffles he made against your cunt. L's cock was a bit long, which made taking his whole length tricky. His hips jolted forward on impulse, gagging you a little.

"Shit! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."

"It's..okay," you said in between kisses along his cock. L wanted to chuckle at how you were treating his length, but he was far too concentrated on making you cum. You were taking a little longer than usual, but it was alright. L simply thrust his fingers inside of you for a bit and rubbed your G-spot.

He could feel himself building slowly, and he wondered if he could make the two of you orgasm at the same time.

"Mmfm...you taste incredible," he comments. "You're so pretty down here, too."

L's praise always made your heart jolt a little. Sometimes you questioned his sincerity, but he seemed to want you to feel good about yourself for whatever reason. It still made you feel validated nonetheless.

You hummed on his dick in a pleasant response. L kept running his tongue along your clit in consistent motions, and you can start feeling your cunt quiver. L knows, recognizing the way your pussy twitched in his mouth. A smirk grazes his face as your cunt spasms in convulsions and you have to pop your head up for air as you mewl uncontrollably. L allows himself to let go as well as his cum spurts out onto your face while you gave him a mess as well.

You and L both were panting, absolutely overwhelmed by your sensations. An instant exhaustion washed over and you collapsed on top of him.

"Come here," L requests. You pull yourself to face him and L kisses you deeply, not caring about the swapping of genital fluids. "Tonight has been very pleasant, wouldn't you agree?"

"Hehe...I suppose. That felt very, very good."

"I thought so, perhaps we should do that more often."

"What about the drinking, should we do that more often?

"Honestly, I'm not the biggest fan. I feel very out of control of my inhibitions," he admits. Tonight was surely fun, though.

"That makes sense."

"I liked tonight though. And I'm happy I got to spend time with you."

"Me too," you fall on L's chest, and if he wasn't so drunk, he'd probably leave once you fell asleep. But he let himself drift along with you this time, enjoying your warmth. You were already sleeping, but he planted a kiss on your temple and allowed himself comfort in your love for him.

[idontmindifuforgetme]

u don’t have to answer this if u don’t want to or u feel u don’t have anything to say on it (obvi) but how do u deal with jealousy and comparison?

i genuinely just like my shit. i love how i look like, i love my stuff, i love where i come from, i love my family and friends, and i appreciate all the circumstances (good and bad) that have led me to be the person i am today. i've done a lot of esteemable things that have bolstered my confidence growing up, like getting an extremely hard degree and pushing myself outside of my comfort zone more than ever before. i treat other people w kindness and respect. i make sure to be a source of support rather than needless negativity. what people think of me (or have) doesn't get under my skin anymore, bc i've already proven my worth to myself. the fact of the matter is, i'll always hold my own opinion of myself higher than i do other people's opinions of me. i'm at a place where i just don't care that much. i've lost the need to correct people on their takes of me a long time ago.

my own happiness is king--everything else is secondary. if i like it, that's enough for me.

i find it pointless to compare myself to somebody else, simply because no two people have been dealt the exact same cards. i wouldn't compare a rose to a lily, so why should i be comparing myself to people who're--no matter who they are, no matter where they're from--never gonna be me? i'm me. the only person i should be comparing myself to is my past self. i am only in competition w myself. that is all.

as for jealousy, viewing people who have things i want as proof of concept has really helped. if another person gets a higher score on a test, i don't get jealous that they outdid me. i just view them as proof that i can get that score if i studied more efficiently. someone else's success isn't a lack of your own--it's just proof you can reach that success, even if the route doesn't look exactly the same, even if it might take longer.

contentment is entirely subjective. i've known wealthy people who're incredibly miserable. i've known people who struggle financially but could not be happier. other people's advantages don't rattle me, bc i don't care about them, bc i'm so eternally grateful for what i already have. i've also never really been that materialistic to begin with, so i've always understood that a person's worth lies in who they are rather than what they own (whether it be things, money, opportunities...). i can say w my whole chest that i wouldn't swap places w the most famous, most rich celebrity there is. i legitimately don't want to. i know that even if i have to work harder for things, i'll have more to say by the end of it all, and that in and of itself is so profound. not to mention the satisfaction from having challenged myself to get there--and i love a good challenge.

i've unleared the idea that i should view other women as competition. life is hard, we all struggle, we'll be living in a man's world for a long time, and it's just not worth the energy. yeah i'm ambitious, but not at the expense of other people. there's enough room for everyone. another woman's achievement doesn't mean less space for mine. we'll all be fine.

w all that said!! there are bad days. no human is just confident all the time, doesn't feel jealous all the time, doesn't compare themself all the time, doesn't let people's opinions get under their skin all the time. don't feel bad for doing it every now and then. it's natural and normal and just part of the human experience. nobody is perfect. just focus on you, view other people as inspiration rather than competition, and compare your progress to nobody else's but your own. it's been a game changer for me :)

[cripplecharacters]

hi sorry this may be a bit of a strange question and already telling you right now if you don’t have any mods that cover skin conditions maybe leave this ask alone.

basically I made a character a very accident prone character. Often getting bruised and having very sensitive skin in terms of getting hurt.

honestly a bit of projection from myself since I am very accident prone and am often getting hurt. so I didn’t think much of it. But then kinda started to realize how much of that is affected by my own skin condition. Symptoms I have not given my character.

I’m not sure how people’s stances are on skin conditions and if they’re considered disabilities to the general public (I mean mine has affected me quite a bit in my life both medically and socially so I feel like it fits but also I’m not entirely sure.) but if it is I was wondering if this feels off putting and strange, and maybe if I should look into giving them a skin condition of their own. Or if this is a perfectly fine character trait and keep it as is.

Hi asker,

If it affects your life and makes some things more difficult, it can be a disability. And skin conditions can also definitely be disabilities.

This is completely fine, in my opinion. It doesn't feel off-putting or strange, it feels realistic. Many people can be accident prone, and some people don't have any underlying condition for it and some do. Me, I'm pretty accident prone. I don't have the best sense of where my body is in space, and I can end up with random bruises.

Yes, you could have your character have a bleeding disorder or a skin condition or dyspraxia if you wanted to. But it's also realistic, and not weird or bad at all, to simply make being accident prone a characteristic of theirs. This is a perfectly fine character trait!

Hope this helps,

mod sparrow

[firstkanaphans]

i'm so tired of seeing posts of people are asking for the downfall of cps. cp marketing works so no sane company is going to ditch a working concept. i am also tired of people acting like gls are superior to bls when in reality there are simply way more bl shows/cps to pick from compared to gls. if we had as many gls as bls those numbers would even out a lot more and i say this as someone who adores gls. i just do understand why everything always has to be a competition idk

I truly, honestly, deeply do not understand the hatred for CPs. I've seen people say the CP system makes shows predictable because you always know the two leads are going to end up together at the end—even though this is true for all romances as it is a requirement of the genre. I've seen people say production companies (or really just GMMTV specifically) are editing their scripts so that their CPs appear more likable—even though most of these shows are based on novels that are already fully written and also the directors and scriptwriters usually don't work for the production company anyway. I've seen people say CPs are stripping the queerness from BLs—even though that is literally impossible because all BLs are queer media.

If you want my honest opinion, I think what the dislike of the CP structure actually is is a dislike of the fan culture that surrounds it. Some people like to interact with media on a purely academic level, which is fine, but believe it or not, fangirls (gender neutral) are capable of critical thought, too. A lot of the pseudo-intellectual arguments I see in fandom boil down to a certain segment of fans thinking they are better than the other simply because they choose to interact with the source material differently.

Regardless, CPs have become an integral part of Thai BL and they aren't going anywhere. So if CPs are a deal breaker, Thai BL is probably not for you.

As for the GLs, I understand why you're frustrated—especially if you're spending any time on Twitter because the GL fandom over there is not friendly to BL watchers...and that's putting it mildly. But I'm actually not sure I agree with your statement that GL viewership would go down if the market was as saturated with GLs as it is with BLs.

Yesterday's episode of Pluto pulled higher engagement numbers than 2gether back in 2020 when the BL market was less saturated. That's insane. One thing I think it may be hard to understand unless you're a queer creative who's been around for a while is that we've been told for years and years and years that sapphic media isn't being created because it doesn't sell. That men and straight women won't watch it. Thailand is proving them wrong and I'm very excited to see where this takes us, not only within Thailand, but internationally.

I do agree, though, that I wish everything wasn't such a competition. I would love to see more melding of the BL and GL genres, but every time a company tries, they get huge backlash from the GL side of Twitter who don't want any men in their media at all. They're like the radfems of QL and I wish it would stop.

[1moremilgram-enjoyer]

Your (Curtain) Call - Thoughts

Hey, it's been a while, huh? But the call of plot progression was too exciting for me to remain silent any longer. Trial 3 baby here we go!!!

And what a way to kick off the trial! There sure is a fair bit to talk about, so let's do just that.

CW: Murder, suicide, suicide threats, psychological torture (Unforgiven votes)

General Thoughts

WOOOO MILGRAM TRIAL 3 IS COMING!!! The excitement is through the roof!!! I am very desensitized to character deaths so my desire for more content currently supersedes the sadness I am feeling!!!! Still, without any other info on T3 atm, I should probably talk about the thing we do have, no?

First thing to establish, I'm going in with the assumption that the three who didn't show up in Your (Curtain) Call are just dead, because I see no reason to believe otherwise. So, Haruka, Shidou and Mahiru are gone.

I'm frankly not all that surprised. Like, we knew what Haruka was gonna do from the moment Muu's verdict came out Unforgiven, the conversation Mahiru had with Kotoko in Kotoko's last birthday made it pretty clear she wasn't going to last much longer, and Shidou's death was always on the table when Amane's voting period finally closed. The big question was whether the writers would commit to killing off the characters before the true start of T3, and I'm actually kinda glad the answer to that was yes. Obviously I would have appreciated more time with them, and I sincerely hope against hope that we still get a T3 song for all of them, but the deaths are a good way to send the message to the audience that yes, consequences exist in Milgram, and yes, they're very serious.

Basically I'm actually kinda chilling, but that may just be because I... Look I like all the Milgram characters, but these three were never my favorites. I appreciated them, I enjoyed their existence and discussing them, but I'm ultimately more attached to other characters. So, in a sense, I kinda lucked out. Very sorry to those who can't say the same.

Where We Go From Here

Now, before talking about where I think we may go from here, I'm going to talk a bit about the verdicts that led to this. But since this is a contentious topic, I'll establish a few things that I'm sure you're all aware about, but bear repeating just in case.

-I don't believe there are any "right" or "wrong" verdicts, just those which I agree or disagree with. The decisions are difficult and multi-faceted, and usually had to be made with limited information. We're all trying our best here, so even if you disagree with someone else' perspective, it's important to remain respectful of it. If at any point in this post I come off as insulting to anyone else's choices, I apologize, it's not my intention.

-Hindsight is 20/20, but that means it's a distorted perspective. No one was completely certain of many things throughout the voting process. Even if things turned out exactly how you thought they would, or nothing happened like you hoped it might, keep in mind that no one could be 100% sure of some things before the release of Your (Curtain) Call. Basically, going "I told you so" doesn't help anyone.

-At the end of the day, these are fictional characters. It's perfectly fine to be emotionally invested in them, and feel strongly about their fates, but perspective is important. No one actually died, no one's hurt. You can regret your choices or be upset at the verdicts, but keep in mind it's ultimately just a web series.

With that established, the voting. Now, the arguments about Forgiven or Unforgiven have already been had and I have little interest in repeating discussions from the past. But I've never talked much about some of these verdicts here, and I know some of you may be interested in knowing my perspective on them and how I feel about them. Again, the following is simply my opinion, no better than yours, we're gonna disagree on some things and that's fine.

Haruka, Shidou and Mahiru will never get to react to their T2 verdicts in earnest. The verdicts to discuss, then, are Muu's and Amane's from T2, and Mahiru's and Kotoko's from T1. Obviously there's other verdicts involved here, but those are the most pressing ones in my eyes.

-I don't agree with the Unforgiven Muu verdict, and I held that opinion for a long time before Your (Curtain) Call released. I fully understand why it happened, I'm not upset it happened, and I don't hold it against anyone who voted her Unforgiven, but I respectfully disagree with the decision.

Of course, it's easy to say I would have Forgiven her when we now know for sure it would have avoided a death, but an Unforgiven vote was always way more dangerous than a Forgiven vote. Sure, Haruka, could have survived the attempt, but the best way to guarantee his safety would have been Forgiving Muu. That's why I held this opinion before the release of Your (Curtain) Call, even if I don't think I ever mentioned it.

Mind you, a Forgiven vote came with its own risks. It would have enforced a very dangerous mindset on Muu's part, and bending to the suicide threat would have enabled Haruka's self-destructive and manipulative tendencies. He probably would have made the same threat in T3 if we'd let him have his way. This is one of many reasons why I understand the verdict.

But those are things that can be dealt with once everyone's out of the hell prison; death isn't. And while it's true that an Unforgiven vote is the only way we have to get across to Muu that she did a bad thing, that doesn't mean we have to take it. Especially since mentally torturing a teenager to get a point across is... morally dubious, on its face. There's no shame in admitting we lack the tools to properly help someone and stepping back to focus on damage control, as helping without the proper tools can do more harm than good.

Again, though, that's my perspective, one which comes from someone who can only talk about the vote in hindsight as I wasn't around when the voting was actually happening. So, it should be taken with a lot of salt. I sincerely hope those who didn't Forgive her get what they wanted out of the verdict and that Muu will become a better person because of it in some way, even if I have my doubts about it. What's done is done, we should just hope for the best now.

-The Amane vote was a lot harder, because neither option came with a guarantee of safety, and neither option came with a guarantee of death. The setup was always there for a Forgiven Amane to kill Shidou (which is what I assume happened), but there was also setup for someone like Kazui saving him. It was entirely possible that Shidou could have survived with injuries, and just because it didn't happen, we shouldn't forget that it seemed like a real possibility at the time.

That isn't to say I blame Kazui or even Shidou or anyone else for what happened. Trusting a child isn't a crime, and people shouldn't have to be babysitting Shidou the whole time. The fault is entirely on the people who raised Amane, the audience who allowed her freedom of movement, and Amane herself.

In the same vein, an Unforgiven vote could have carried no inter-prisoner fatalities, but it would have been Amane's second Unforgiven, meaning there was a real possibility she'd die. We don't know how that works, after all. I don't even find it particularly likely, but it's a real concern that I took into account.

Basically, unlike Muu's vote where one option was clearly safer than the other (in my eyes), Amane's vote was a gamble either way, and we had no way to genuinely tell what the odds of Shidou's death (and Mahiru's, as we believed back then that they were linked) on a Forgiven vote were compared to the odds of an Amane death on Unforgiven.

Which is why I don't regret voting Amane Forgiven. We can speculate on what we'd do with the information we have now and the information we may get later, but with the information we had at the time, I find it a perfectly reasonable decision. If the information we'd had was different, and you could guarantee that no one would die to an Unforgiven vote and that Shidou would absolutely die on a Forgiven, I might have ended up voting Amane Unforgiven. It would have hurt me a lot and I'd feel gross doing it, but I stand by the principle that preserving human life is always the priority.

However, such a guarantee didn't exist. So I had to weigh the possibility of life and death against the other aspects of the vote. And to put it bluntly, I've never personally found any Unforgiven argument unrelated to Shidou's safety to be particularly convincing. We've seen what an Unforgiven vote does for Amane, and it's not good. I sincerely doubt that doing the same thing again would carry different results.

Also, there's another reason I found voting Amane Forgiven when Shidou could die easier to justify than Not Forgiving Muu when that could get Haruka killed: it's just easier to sell me on a Forgiven vote than an Unforgiven vote. That's a personal bias I'm aware of, but not one I particularly mind having and acting upon. Hot take, mentally torturing teenagers is Bad actually, and should be avoided whenever possible.

-I didn't talk about Mahiru much in the previous section, because I'm pretty sure she was dead from T1.

[2024/12/15 Timeline] Mahiru: I also have to, say my thanks, to Shidou-san. Kotoko: I can’t even laugh at how carefree you are, going out of your way to call me over. Well...... if you have any grudges in your last moments, I guess I’d consider listening.

In this recent timeline,, Mahiru talks about Shidou as if he's still alive, but Kotoko seems pretty convinced Mahiru's not going to last much longer. This seems to imply, at least to me, that Shidou wouldn't have been able to keep Mahiru alive for T3 even if he hadn't gotten stabbed by the child. She was likely just kept alive to explore her character further before killing her off.

Now, I don't hold any votes cast against anyone in general, but I especially don't hold anything against the votes from T1. From my understanding, that was the wild wild west when it came to voting, as there was no precedent for what the votes would actually do. I don't even know what I would have voted Mahiru, since by the time I joined the fandom, the consequences of the voting had already been made relatively clear. I have no basis for what I would have taken into account when it came to casting votes in T1.

That said, I would have voted Kotoko Forgiven, probably. I tend to trust fictional characters more than I probably should, and the partnership she offered in TASK sounded quite appealing when we had no precedent for inter-prisoner violence beyond John Doe. HARROW made it look (at least to me) that Kotoko did a lot of research before attacking her victims, so I'd have given her the benefit of the doubt and thought she wouldn't attack the others until she learnt more about their crimes. Without Deep Cover, there wasn't any reason to believe she had that info at the time. Clearly, I'd have enabled the bullshit that happened in the T1-T2 intermission. Oops.

Okay that's way too much yapping about things that no longer matter. The votes are cast, the decisions are made, we move. What's next?

Well, that would be discussing how these deaths affect our choices moving forward. I don't feel like speculating on how characters are going to act in T3 when it's likely we're gonna get more info on that soon anyways (I can't believe it!!!), but what are my plans for voting?

Well, you can probably guess, but I'm hoping for an inno sweep. Unless we get confirmation on what our votes are gonna do before casting them, the possibility that a T3 Unforgiven will kill the character is too dangerous for me to consider that, unless there's some reason to believe a Forgiven vote would also carry risk of death. I think I've made it clear that I don't usually find the mental torture that an Unforgiven vote carries to be particularly helpful, so unless the consequences of the vote change, full Forgiven is probably the best we can hope for. I really doubt it's going to be so simple, of course, but I can't comment further without more info on the trial. I'm very excited to see how they try to avoid the full Forgiven sweep over at MILGRAM HQ (?).

And I'll actually get to vote for all of them this time! Well, the ones who are alive, anyways. Yippie!!!

On a completely unrelated note; really love the title of the video. The play on "your call" (your decision) and "your curtain call" (the end) is fun.

I wonder what other routes would have been called, though. Because obviously you can't have a name for every possible combination of T1 and T2 verdicts, so you need general names like Your (Curtain) Call for most of them. I kinda wanna know what decisions could have led to a different route name. If I feel like it, I might make a post with some other route ideas for the fun of it. But I have like a bajillion posts I want to write on my main still, so. God knows when that would come out.

Alright I've evidently run out of meaningful things to say. Hope you enjoyed this massive rambling session, that you don't hate me if you disagree with my opinions, all that stuff. In any case, thanks for reading, see ya'!

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

This was the hardest monthly wrap up I ever had to do because I forgot about it until like two days ago and my brain is not at its best and I'm tired so I can't really write a lot. So anyway as usual, spoilers and opinions below, read at your own risk.

QL - Currently Watching

🇹🇼 Blue Canvas of Youthful Days [2/12] - I really like the look of this show and all the art. I'm not yet sold on the main couple as a possible item but I really like the characters individually. I adore the second couple. The scene with the hearing aid was beautiful and I like the fact that it's not about the couple. Perhaps in a bl from a different country this would be about them finally being able to communicate, but because Liu knows sign language, it's simply about helping Tan Yin. Don't know why but I really liked this.

🇰🇷🇹🇭 Eccentric Romance [8/12] - It's not the worst thing ever but at several points during the episodes I find myself asking, what am I watching?

🇹🇭 Every You, Every Me [4/8] - This show constantly surprises me. The different stories every week and the aspec rep was how they got me at first but now I'm invested in the meta and the absolutely adorable mains. And this show is just so gorgeous to watch.

🇹🇭 Fourever You [5/16] - Beautiful Pond. Cute Earth. I'm annoyed. Hopefully the next couple is better in terms of storyline.

🇹🇭 Jack & Joker [8/12] - Can they just get together first and then give me all the drama? I'm okay with that. I actually liked Love Mechanics, so give it to me. But Jack is all over the place with his behaviour, he says Joke is family and they seem to have a shared view of the future, and they sure behave as if they're a couple, but then he hides things from Joke, supposedly 'for his own good'. I feel for Joke, because he's being jerked around by Jack.

🇹🇭 Kidnap [8/12] - I love Ohm. And that is the one and only reason I'm still here.

🇰🇷 Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo [6/8] - I'm obsessed. I think about this show way too much. It's painful and beautiful, brilliant writing and visuals and I need it to be over but I don't want it to end. I think we're gonna have a second time skip since they are not in our present yet and I just want to see them happy.

🇰🇷 Love in the Big City [4/8] - Obsessed in a total different way. This story is like an open tab in my brain at all times. I'm dreaming of edits and gifsets. I think of Young and my chest tightens. I'm having a hard time writing about the second part of the show because it's just so much, although it feels lighter than the novel. I'm dreading the next part.

🇯🇵 Love is a Poison [7/10] - I love it here. Everything about it. This being Shiba's first love sure explains a lot, and the onsen date was amazing. I think the actors are nailing this.

🇹🇭 Peaceful Property [10/12] - I've said enough about it. I'm here for TayNew and trying to just ignore everything else.

🇹🇭 Perfect 10 Liners [1/24] - And so it begins. Every gmmtv boy is here and they are all playing engineers. They got two Flukes and everything. I wish Force wasn't once again an asshole jock and Book the clueless fool but I guess that's too much to ask. This is the couple I'm least interested here so I want to see the rest.

🇹🇼 See Your Love [3/13] - Taiwan just doing giving all the rep with disabled characters and as usual a parade of bl actors. It's fine for now.

🇯🇵 Smells like Green Spirit [6/9] - I love Mishima. I think the scenes with him and Kirino are always great. I'm still not totally on board with the romance but I'm somewhat fascinated with Yumeno.

QL - Finished

🇹🇼 First Note of Love - I feel like I need to rewatch this as a binge because I think this format didn't help this particular show. Although I like the mains and I really liked the actors, their romance never truly clicked for me. I need more of the sides. The language banter was my favourite thing about this.

🇹🇭 I Saw You In My Dream - This is super cute. They are all adorable and they actually communicate. Ultimately I was a little underwhelmed about the concept.

🇹🇭 Monster Next Door - It's fine. I like Big and he was great here. But I've already forgotten everything about this.

🇭🇰 Our Golden Times - I watched it. It was okay.

🇹🇭 Reverse 4 You - Pretty show. Good concept. Not great execution all the way through.

Dropped / On Hold

Waiting to binge - 🇹🇭 The Loyal Pin | 🇹🇭 Apple | 🇻🇳 Teenager Judge

Rose Watches OJBL

Same Difference aka Docchi mo Docchi (2014) - I don't even know what to say. It's not good. That's it.

Others - Watched

🇯🇵Densetsu no Head Sho| 🇰🇷Black Out | 🇯🇵Double

Upcoming Shows - November

As usual my ask box is open. Have a wonderful weekend💜

[nyxthejinx]

Heya!

I just saw your open for request post and want to commission an Cyno x gn!reader, please? :) a fluffy and spicy drabble would be lovely. Maybe smth like.. the reader is good friends with Cyno and Tighnari but the reader went on a journey thru teyvat and met the Aether (traveler) on their way and since then they traveled together and been thru much so they have a connection ofc and then when the reader and Aether visit sumeru and they meet Cyno - he will get all jealous? Cause he sees how close they are and he fears that he missed his chance with the reader? But obvsly its not like that and yeah. A lil bit of making out at the end, please? cause Cyno needs to let out some steam after his jealously :^)

Thank you for doing requests btw!

FIRST. It took ages but I was able to sell my soul in exchange for inspiration only recently, I'm so sorry. SECOND thank YOU for asking, I wasn't sure about this until the 3am among us potion made it work. THIRD beautiful pfp, akaza bb fr i love him a normal amount I promise. FOURTH it's 5 am, literally I'm not kidding, I tried to proofread and all that but I don't even know what's my name anymore so I'm sorry for typos and shit. FIFTH I hope It makes sense, enjoy 💀

𝐓𝐖: Fluff and obviously spice (making out, vague allusions to the dirty deeds ;) ), use of petnames (dear, love), lemme know if I missed something.

𝐅𝐭.: Cyno, Aether (but he's your homie) - GN!Reader

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2.5k

𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨: Rendezvous - Little Mix (god this song is such a banger)

Cyno fears nothing.

"Cyno, this is Aether."

Cyno fears one thing.

He'd felt so happy after reading your last letter. You said you'd be back in a few days with a special surprise, but honest to Archons the fact you'd be coming back to him - for him, he’d wanted to say, but not dared to- was enough of a present.

He surely wasn't expecting that this "surprise" would be none other than the Traveler who's saved Sumeru, though. A charming blondie who drifts a bit too close to you, in Cyno's opinion.

"We met in Liyue, he's amazing." You smile, squeezing the blond's shoulder. "He's a well known traveler across Teyvat, even in regions he has yet to visit!"

"I just help those who need it, not that much of a big deal."

Aether blushes and rubs his neck. Aether blushes. And you're touching him in a way that only close friends do.

It's fine, Cyno wants to think. You're allowed to do whatever you want in your life, he sure as hell won't stand in your way. He already stepped aside back in the days, as you excitedly told him how one of his worst fears came true you were leaving for adventure.

Everything to make you happy.

But his mixed feelings would always get in the way and unleash endless internal conflicts. It wasn't simply about not having you around, it was some kind of longing sitting inside his chest and screaming at you not to go.

It was the distance that made him realise: he was, and still is, far too in love for his own good.

And Aether could get in the way of that.

"We meet again, Traveller." The General nods, pushing down such shameful thoughts. "I'm glad to see you are both fairing well."

"It's all thanks to [Name], actually." Aether nudges you in the ribs. "They're really helpful, no matter the task."

You smirk. "Oh, what an honour. The traveller complementing me, a common, mortal nobody."

"Hey, I'm not that annoying!"

"Maybe. But you sure snore at night. That is annoying."

"Wh-! I don't. I know for a fact-"

No, you don't sound like close friends. You sound like a married couple. What just happened in this handful of months? Did Cyno hesitate too long and lost his chance? Now that he had decided to expose his deepest feelings?

"You guys! Paimon is starving here."

Paimon's shrill voice cuts short the bicker, as the Matra's jaw clenches. Good time, credits to Paimon, but seeing the two of you stroll towards the tavern didn't ease the knot in his chest the slightest.

Your laughter wasn't addressed to him nor to his uncanny jokes. He wasn't the one making you smile.

He was the moon and he'd just been eclipsed by the Traveller's brightest light.

Dinner was... Gut wrenching, to say the least.

You'd known Cyno long enough to tell apart his feelings even as he wears that stoic facade of his. While Paimon and the Traveller didn't have a single clue about the situation, you could feel his dry gaze burning holes on both of your figures, as if the sun had ascended back to the skies and everything around had turned desert.

He was feeling something you'd never quite seen within him.

It took you a bit too long to realise that the fair, lawful General Mahamatra was jealous, of all things.

He was so subtle with it, carefully hid his resentment in his voice and choice of words, in his gestures and mannerisms. But worst of all he didn't propose a single joke during the meal, not even when you laid the chance on a silver platter for him.

That had your mind reeling for the rest of your time together, and even afterwards, as you waved goodnight to Aether and Paimon. As you walked these streets you still know by heart with your dearest friend by your side.

As you choked on the thick air surrounding the two of you.

Maybe you should've left Aether out of it, for the first day, at least. Cyno hadn't seen you in so long, perhaps he didn't like the way Aether inadvertently hogged your attention the entire time when all he wanted was to hear about your adventures.

Yeah, you'd been an idiot for that one.

But, you still had an ace up your sleeve. Quite literally. One that would grant you his forgiveness and hopefully help you say the words to him.

Because of course, it took you less than a week far from him to realise you were smitten for this dad-jokes-spitting being.

You patted your side as you approached Razan Garden in all its glory, and sighed at the feeling of the rectangular box still inside. You could do it, you had to! It took you months of preparation, you wouldn't let it go to waste.

"[Name]." Cyno's voice was soft, as if to match the atmosphere lingering in the marble gazebo. He'd stopped a couple steps ahead of you, but didn't turn to meet your eyes. "My congratulations and best wishes."

You alt abruptly at that. Where the hell is it coming from?

"Uh, thank you?" You quirk a brow. "Did I do something special without knowing?"

He chuckles under his breath. Yes, you are special and he's grateful a being so perfect can exist in this world and is part of his life. But he would never tell you that.

He turns instead. His eyes rich with emotion, gentler. "I'm beyond glad that you found the right person out there, [Name]."

Oh. Oh.

"I only ever hoped for your happiness and well-being, during this period of time."

"Cyno, wait a sec-"

He takes a step forward. "If I had to voice my honest thoughts... I must admit I couldn't find peace of mind knowing you would've been out there alone."

"Cyno-"

"But I see you're perfectly capable of handling your own," the man sighs, shakes his head. A small smile curves his lips. "Just like you've always done."

"Oi-"

And then he's placing loose hands on your shoulders, as if he's in some kind of automatic mode and has to finish the speech at all costs.

For a moment you think he's gone absolutely senile. "Still, I'm relieved you have someone who can watch your back, now. He's a kind-hearted person, level headed, the best you could wish for-"

"Archons' fucking sake, Cyno! Will you hear me out a damn second?"

Cyno almost jumps back, taken out of his weird reverie, but you're quick to trap his face between your hands. You're close, closer than you'd wanted to, unfocused in your frustrated fervor. So much his breath warms the apple of your cheek, as it wasn't burning already.

You take a breath and force more words out before you can cower away from it. "I get where you're coming from, I neglected you today and acted like a shitty friend. And I'm sorry for that."

You lower your gaze to the ground. Now or never. "But it's you, okay? It's always been you! I could travel across all Teyvat and even Celestia, but it's you and just you. So drop that thing you're on about please."

That was disgustingly corny. But hopefully did the trick, you guess.

A beat passes. Then two. You don't see his face, you don't have the courage to take a look at the mess you've made. Him being jealous didn't mean he liked you, not necessarily. Maybe you should've given him the TCG deck and call it a night.

Another beat goes by.

"So... You and Aether are not...?"

He's gonna be the death of you.

You groan, a guttural sound that shouts exasperation from the deepest parts of your chest. All rationality goes to hell as you drag him closer and slam your lips together.

You're kissing him. Archons you're kissing him-

There's no time for Cyno to react. You're pulling away in a frenzy, hoping the ground will open for the Abyss to swallow you right now. You kissed one of your friends only to prove that you're single, and in fact attracted to them. Could it be worse than that? More humiliating and disrespectful to him?

"I'm so sorry!" You wave your hands around. "I shouldn't have without your permission! Are you okay?"

You search his expression for any sign of discomfort; he looks absolutely flabbergasted, but somehow weirdly composed like a bronze statue. His lips -god you'd just kissed them- are parted in the slightest, his eyes wide and yet still. The calm before the storm.

He's showing yet another sentiment you've never really seen him wear.

"Again." Cyno says.

You blink. "Uh?"

You feel his hand slither behind you and circle your waist, as he pushes your body closer. His skin is running hot like the desert's sands and you curse at his choice, or better lack of clothes.

His silver hair falls like a curtain, his eyes sharp. Dangerous, even, if you're not careful enough.

"Please, do it again. I think I've just seen the gates of Celestia." He mutters close to your lips.

That sounds more like him. You can't help but snort at his choice of words, shuddering all the same. The implications of said words dig a flaming hole in your chest.

"How can you be so smart, but dum dum at the same time?" You whisper, one hand traveling to the back of his neck, the other busying itself with stray locks of hair.

And you dip in for another kiss. One you sigh into, one that can be called kiss, actually. It's slower, but full all the same, scorching hot, pushed by feelings that were repressed for too long.

Cyno locks his free hand at your nape, never possessive, although firm. Small sounds bubble in the back of his throat when you bite at his lower lip, then backs just enough to mutter a couple words.

"Can you really blame me? It feels like a dream coming true." He pecks your lips, then presses his forehead to yours and closes his eyes. "I was scared you'd chosen him."

"So, all those pretty words from before?" You exhale a breathy laugh, cradling his jaw.

"I'd give away everything I have and am if it meant you'd be happy. I could only wish you the best and support you." Cyno smiles, pouting after the next words leave his mouth. "But it doesn't mean I would be fully content with the outcome."

Your brain has turned to mush. This man is too dangerous for this world, a hazard for you and your poor little heart that feels like exploding. It's a threat to your common sense and rationality. But most of all, it's damaging your brakes.

What he's telling you should not be legal.

"Archons, come here." And you kiss, and kiss, kiss again and again. You map each other's bodies with your hands as if it was the last time you'd be seeing each other. You press your mouths, clatter your teeth, intertwine your tongues.

You're straight up devouring in the dead silence of the night, in a public space. But as indecent the sounds you're both making are, it feels as if the world around blurred and blended into nothingness.

You've found yourself with your back to a wall, somehow, a couple buttons loose, skin hit by the cold air of the night. You -surely more clothed than Cyno- are an absolute mess, whereas his appearance doesn't falter much even at your hands' mercy.

It's unfair, he's unfair. He has no right to be this damn perfect even in the face of chaos.

"Not here, Cy." You manage to utter. "Let's go home."

His hand stops halfway up your shirt and he detaches from your neck with a small grunt, red splotches forming already thanks to his work. He doesn't sound pleased with your choice, but wordlessly complies, knocking you off your feet and picking you up so easily it's unfair.

And embarrassing.

You deadpan. "Seriously?"

He finds your eyes, suddenly composed as if nothing happened. "You seemed quite unstable on your legs, dear."

You're audibly gasping at that, whacking his chest and glaring daggers. "You!"

"Let's continue it home, now."

Cyno is really going to be the death of you, in many ways you'd never even considered.

It's almost dawn when you finally let yourselves snuggle up to each other in the peace of your home. More like his home, since yours needs more than a bit of cleaning after months of disuse, but he's made it clear already: everything that's his is also yours.

Cyno traces patterns on the bare skin of your arm, as you card through the knots on the back of his head, formed after... Recent activity. He seems too lost in your touch to even be awake, when his fingers stop.

"What was the surprise, in the end? Was it the confession?"

Your hands still, your face tightening at the question. When did you even... Oh, right.

"Would you be satisfied if I said yes?"

He pinches you.

"Owie!"

"You should know that what has been of this night matters more than anything, to me. Of course I would be satisfied." Cyno raises a thin brow, as his hand starts to descend agonizingly slow, leaving a trail of goosebumps in his wake. "Was I not clear enough about my feelings? Perhaps you need a reminder-"

"Whoa, hold your horses, General." You chuckle, planting a kiss on his forehead before leaning over to your bedside table, where your bag had been thrown previously. "There was no way I'd come back empty handed after all these months, yanno?"

You pull out the wrapped box, place it in his hands. Cyno stares at it quizzically, but opens the packaging with care after you nudge him in the side.

Oh, his expression is so, so priceless. Cute, too cute, so cute you could die right now on the spot for excess of sugar in your blood. He looks like a kid who's just received the toy he oh so wanted and ranted about.

"It's not just any deck," You explain. "It's a deck made of cards I've gathered around from different regions. Some were more challenging to get, but I've been playing with you for a long time, haven't I? Of course I'd win."

Meanwhile Cyno takes the liberty to browse its contents, and just like you said, they're not from Sumeru. He's barely ever seen them, some are literally unknown, and he's ecstatic at the sight. How long did it take? How much effort?

"This is…" there's no right term to describe it. "Wonderful. You are wonderful, [Name]."

He goes for a hug and you feel like your bodies fit perfectly in each other's arms, as if it was meant to be. Right now, all that matters is this. And it will always be for all you care.

You smile into his shoulder, smooch the base of his neck. "Is it too early to say 'I love you?'."

"I would actually say we're late, Love."

"I love you, then, you Dum-Dum."

"I love you."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"You are like my asthma. You just take my breath away."

You make sure Cyno slams his head as you throw him off the bed.

Do not translate/rewrite/repost/feed to AI ©2025 nyxthejinx

[looking-to-rattle-the-stars]

So I'm reading The Hobbit right--been going a bit slow because of travel and being suddenly called into work--and I just finished Chapter 9.

I cannot stop thinking about the friendship disparity between Bilbo and the dwarves. It's driving me up a wall in all honesty. Cause like, even if Bilbo didn't fully see them as friends in the beginning, he always refers to them as his friends or the dwarves. And he always seems, despite their complaining and his brief moments of "God I wish I wasn't here with them and their ruckus", to hold a high level of respect for them. But the dwarves don't return such a favor. They don't even start to like him until Chapter 8! It was always "Oh they forgot about him." and complaints about how he shouldn't be accompanying them.

Like, just to provide some quote examples (mainly for myself lol):

"Yes, lots,” said Bilbo, before he remembered not to give his friends away. “No none at all, not one,” he said immediately afterwards. (Pg. 35)

“What’s all this trouble? Who has been knocking my people about?” “It’s trolls!” said Bilbo from behind a tree. They had forgotten all about him. (Pg. 38)

“He wondered whether he ought not, now he had the magic ring, to go back into the horrible, horrible, tunnels and look for his friends. He had made up his mind that it was his duty, that he must turn back—and very miserable he felt about it—when he heard voices.” (Pg. 85)

The dwarves wanted to know why he had ever been brought at all, why he could not stick to his friends and come along with them, and why the wizard had not chosen someone with more sense. (Pg. 86)

“From which you can see that they had changed their opinion of Mr. Baggins very much, and had begun to have a great respect for him (as Gandalf said they would).” (Pg. 152)

“They all thought their own shares in the treasure would suffer seriously if the Wood-elves claimed part of it, and they all trusted Bilbo. Just as Gandalf had said would happen, you see.” (Pg. 162)

Like when they refer to themselves as Bilbo's friends it feels, at least to me, that they don't really see him as one. That they simply call him a friend because Gandalf is there and thinks highly of Bilbo. Or in like the way where they don't really see him as a friend they intend to keep, more of an acquaintance but saying "friend" is more polite/formal to do. Friend in the way where they are forced to be friends with each other but one thinks low of the other and therefore finds every opportunity to complain about it.

And then in Chapter 9 Thorin says to Bilbo, “A pretty fine burglar you make, it seems, when the time comes. I am sure we are all for ever at your service, whatever happens after this.” (Pg. 165) and I just crumple and fall over because I know how this story ends and what is to become of, at the very least, Thorin and his nephews. (I have been told that more of them die by LOTR, but I am unsure who!) And like perhaps you can argue that Balin had a bit more respect for him than the others, Bilbo does note how they get along a few times, but that is still 1/13. I am just head in hands.

And, since I already have a decent length post going, I cannot stop thinking about these quotes:

“There is nothing like looking, if you want to find something (or so Thorin said to the young dwarves). You certainly usually find something, if you look, but it is not always quite the something you were after.” (Pg. 55)

“But all night he dreamed of his own house and wandered in his sleep into all his different rooms looking for something that he could not find nor remember what it looked like.” (Pg. 104)

LIKE JUST OH MY GOD. KNOWING ABOUT THE RING AND HOW THE STORY ENDS AND I JUST THE THORIN QUOTE AND APPLYING IT TO BILBO AND THE ADVENTURE!!! Like I don't know how to express the words right now but... the idea that Bilbo wasn't looking for an adventure but he found one and it offered him a sense of connection unlike anything in the Shire and embraced the "Tookness" inside of him which inherently reconnects him with his mother. And the second quote, I just- I don't know a lot about the ring. But my best friend has lightly explained some of the implications as they appear in LOTR, and I just... Bilbo searching for the ring in his dreams. Although I do also think that the quote would more relate to my previous sentiments with the first quote, but I just wonder if his dream was like that because of being in possession of the ring I suppose. Anyways it's 3am so time to go get some sleep!

[archivalofsins]

How I'm feeling right now,

Me: Gah-

Mikoto: Get back to work!

Me: It's my day off-

Mikoto: Those don't- exist we don't stop working around here!

Me: Fuck this post and fuck your birthday! We do this every year- it's the same thing it's never ending! Why can't people just fucking read-

Mikoto: Why can't you stop bitching and write?! Huh?

Okay all joking aside I did read the timeline on the app and since it's Mikoto here comes the age old game of guess who. Where everyone tries to discern if it's Mikoto or Mikoto (John) based on the language and pronouns used. So, let's go over my opinion on that and why I think it's just Mikoto.

Well, with all that out of the way let's clock in for-

UNPAID OVERTIME

(Star who's trapped in this hell with me after seeing this probably: Yippee.....)

TIME CLOCKED

Gunsli: 16 hours (Not the longest I've worked on a post honestly. At least it's actually done.)

Star @sinfulequity: 7 hours (tired... also I wrote some stuff. Not a lot though)

Gunsli: Ahn, I say we made good time.

My, oh my what harsh language you use~

Why, one could say it's like a punch to the face.

Mikoto within his birthday timeline today was using casual language that could lean towards antagonistic or combative to some. The wording here served to invoke imagery of delinquency.

What I want to interrogate is if only the words used were harsh or his tone overall. Also, why that may be.

First of all in the text provided through the portal timeline today there is no indication through punctuation that this is a hostile conversation. One could say that the words being used allude to the tone. 

Yet, that may simply not be the case. 

It would have been immensely easy to put in exclamation points in order to illustrate that if it is the case. Especially since the text provided was very capable of adding a coma.

Kayano: Wait, Fuck- uh, get back.

Outside of this instance, previous portal timeline interactions have had exclamation points and other punctuation marks to allude to tone.

This timeline mainly uses ellipses. Those have been shown to usually denote either a long dragging pause or nervousness within the Timeline. Ellipses have also been used in the context of all the characters to denote discomfort or anxiety outside of just registering a long pause.

It's been used this way with Mikoto from the beginning of the series. One could say Mikoto and Mahiru are the first display of the use of this punctuation and the tone it is meant to convey,

Mikoto: ……I’ve really got caught up in some trouble, huh. What even is this place? It’s probably a TV reality show or something. ……but to think someone in this day and age would try to do a project that could land them in so much trouble. Uh……

Mahiru: Ah…… I’m Shina Mahiru! You can just call me Mahiru. And you are……?

Mikoto: Kayano Mikoto. I’m fine with just Mikoto too. Ahh, I’m glad there’s someone here who’s easy to talk to…… It’s nice to meet you, Mappy.

Mahiru: ………… ……Mappy???

So, let's take a look at this new timeline,

23/10/06 (Mikoto’s Birthday) @doctorbunny (translation)

Amane: …….Who are you? How peculiar. Could it really be that you aren't Kayano Mikoto?

Kayano: Huh, who am I? Yeah, that's what I wanna know. Wait, Fuck- uh, get back. I'm in my rebellious phase, so I can't guarantee I won't beat you to a pulp. So just keep your mouth shut about this and get lost.

Amane: ……I'll be sure to heed your warning. However, if you wish to be saved, you should come to us, let's pray together. No matter who you are anyone can be saved.

Kayano: That's stupid….. If there really is a god, he should just show up and save us. I'd pray to a god like that as much as he wants.

This translation is by DoctorBunny; he used Kayano here instead of Mikoto to keep to the vagueness of the timeline. The timeline itself uses the self-referential pronoun ore. This and the harsh language used has led people to believe that the one speaking is Mikoto (John). I'm not here to completely debunk that idea, just offer an alternative interpretation along with my reasoning behind it.

I said that I believed this to be Mikoto speaking pretty early.After I’d woken up, before there was even a proper translation for the timeline. I just went off the tail end of what was provided on the app and the machine translation there.

Unlike many others I didn't assume a hostile tone when reading the timeline interaction. This is because I read text in monotone then assign tone to it through context clues, about, on the fourth or fifth read through. I believe this is a very normal thing to do and won't take criticism on it. 

I also don't tend to project tone onto text conversations generally.

This makes it easier to avoid miscommunications. Since I won't go creating them in my head by projecting a tone on something without one based either on my feelings at the time or feelings towards the subject speaking. 

In my opinion, anyone who may have assumed a tone from the text provided today which has very little textual indicators of hostility choose to do that for reasons they can interrogate or not.  It’s not as though this is a bad thing either. This is just something everyone’s brains may go to due to someone’s perception and relation to the subject speaking. 

Ergo it’s none of my business or my concern. If someone wants to think the text on the screen is angry or happy that’s their perception, not my responsibility. 

But the words used were harsh!

The punctuations weren't; I don't know what to tell anyone other than when the characters are upset or excited within the timeline the writing punctually does a good job at displaying that.

Now don't make me pull out this song again guys~ Come on I really love this song but this can't keep happening.

"Interjections! Show excitement or emotion. They're generally set apart from a sentence by an exclamation point or by a coma when the feelings not as strong!"

It's not difficult or scary! I swear it's writing and everyone loves it~

Let's look at a timeline conversation as an example. Preferably an interaction with only one speaker that still manages to highlight the spectrum of emotion punctuation can convey.

But could there be such a perfect example that could pertain to our topic of the day?

23/10/06 (Mikoto’s Birthday)

Mikoto: …… (ellipses a dragging open showing the character may be hesitant to speak or pondering) I wonder if there really is another version of me. (Hard stop or period denoting the end of sentence and a statement.) And the fact my clothes are in rags and everyone is scared of me is his fault. Even being a “murderer”…… but it’s hard to just believe something like that.

Mikoto: If I talk like this can you hear me? If you can hear, (use of a coma because the feelings isn't that strong yet remember the song) please respond. Why would you do something so horrible. Hey, it’s all your fault, right? ……answer me! (exclamation to highlight this is a interjection this character may be upset and exclamation highlights that along with other context clues.)

Mikoto: ……Aaaaa!! (Oh no this character may be screaming in abject agony or frustration. The reader can tell from not only the word illustrated but the exclamation points.) But I did it for me……! (Trailing off but still frustrated.) If not, I would’ve broken!! (The context implies that the subject may be frustrated at not being able to communicate something or trouble by what could have occurred. All insinuated by you guess that exclamation point!)

Mikoto: ––What am I even doing…… (this character isn't upset just trailing off and probably tired or at a lost of what to do. Illustrated through the ellipses.) Of course I won’t conveniently just get a response like that. I should just stop thinking about everything now…… I’m tired……

What I'm getting at by bringing up the punctuation is Mikoto in his October 06, 2024 birthday timeline Mikoto isn't speaking angrily. He's speaking crudely. Something that can be done without raising one's voice or even getting emotional in anyway.

Something alluded to by the punctuations being used.

Now the other thing being ignored here is context. Mikoto makes these statements towards Amane. Amane Momose the child abuse survivor, the person who was electrocuted, waterboarded and beaten by her mother regularly.

Beaten with a blunt object and or rod. He calls her a brat and states that he can't guarantee he won't-

Amane has very real in character reasons to be greatly bothered by this sort of thing possibly happening to her again.

Yet, with Mikoto Amane would have very little reason to believe that he would do something like that to her. Especially since she did attack him once and he did not hit her. Unlike Shidou who threatened to fight her.

21/04/16 (Amane’s First Trial)

Amane: …………

Mikoto: Oh, welcome back Amane! ……what’s with the grim face? Ah, right, the guard summoned you! How was it? Did you cry? I bet you were so scared you cried, right!?

Amane: ……alright then. If it’s a fight you want, it’s a fight you’ll get.

Mikoto: Huh? Oooi! Hey, are you listening?? Ooooi!

22/10/24 (Shidou’s Birthday)

Amane: ……Kirisaki Shidou. How long do you plan on continuing this foolish behaviour?

Shidou: I wonder what you might be referring to there. I’m just doing what I need to do. If anything, I’d be happy if you would lend me a hand.

Amane: I warned you. I can no longer turn a blind eye to this wickedness taking place right in front of us. You’re bringing ruin unto yourself. Do you understand?

Shidou: No, I don’t understand. It’s my job as an adult to teach you that throwing a temper tantrum isn’t going to make everything go your way. If it’s a test of endurance you want, I’m happy to oblige, Amane.

So, Amane's response to Mikoto making what could have been an incredibly triggering statement being to invite him to pray. Highlights to me that contextually he was showing enough genuine concern for her to be able to tell this is something he didn't want to do and he needed help.

If not Amane is really dedicated to the cause and has no interest in her own personal safety. Something that very well could still be the case. Something that would strengthen her similarities to Kotoko and Haruka. People who find themselves and their feelings secondary to what they seek to do or protect.

But we'll cross that bridge if it's built. For now this is quite a calm and leveled response for her to have to words like that given her background.

Secondly, while Futa has called her a brat too, she responds in a different manner. With Futa, she snipes back.

20/06/03

Futa: ……huh? What’s your problem? You’re just leaving all your meat? What a weird kid.

Amane: You say that, but you’re not eating all of your food either.……are you not able to eat your vegetables? Even though you’re an adult.

Futa: Huh, what, so you’re just eating grass? What are you, a rabbit or something? Since you’re just a brat, you should be eating your meat properly. You won’t grow if you don’t.

Amane: ……you make some really funny jokes, don’t you, Futa-san.

However, she's more willing to let it pass by with Mikoto. Taking his words for their face value instead of any tone that could be read in them. You could argue that it's ruder with Futa, since they knew each other for less time here. However, it's also another instance where, if you just read the words as is, someone is showing concern with abrasive phrasing.

Mikoto also uses this word right before he issues this warning (well, more of a demand as the language he uses is more commanding apparently)-

-which indicates that he was startled or thrown off. Whether that be from realizing something, Amane sneaking up on him or something else is up to interpretation. However, he has a history of becoming too comfortable with Amane and letting his guard down before she reminds him that she's younger than him.

So it's possible that's what happened again here. Since she asked if he really wasn't Kayano Mikoto (something brought up to her by Es in her own voice drama). She even goes far as to comment about how peculiar-

-or maybe interesting it is to her. The idea of lacking a singular "identity" may be something that is of personal interest to her. Given how she refers to herself within her second voice drama.

Es: … We’ve digressed. So – just what are you right now? You’ve been saying “we” this whole time. Does that mean you are not Amane Momose right now?

Amane: Right now, I am both Amane Momose and I am not. I am speaking on behalf of our faith. I am speaking as “we”, who believe that dialogue and warnings are in order since you made the misjudgment to not forgive us.

Es: So you’re saying I’m talking to the very concept of your faith right now?

Amane: We don’t mind you thinking of it that way.

That being said, she still refers to him in the same pattern she refers to almost everybody as pointed out by DoctorBunny. The pattern being referring to people by their full names. And, to go further, in kanji when her speech is written down. To be more specific, when she asked if he's really Mikoto Kayano.

Examples of this can be seen with,

Futa

Yuno (23/06/27)

and Shidou (22/10/24)

Whereas an exception can be seen with Mahiru here. Since Amane does not refer to her by her full name but by just Mahiru it's unclear if she would remain an exception if Amane does refer to her by full name at a later date.

(evidence shared by DoctorBunny)

According to DoctorBunny, the usage of kanji for everyone's first name is a bit of a peculiarity as they're usually just written in katakana. He also cited an incident that happened in a manga. Where a character switched from using kanji to katakana for their given name as a shorthand to show a partial loss of identity.

I believe these are interesting narrative tropes to take into consideration in regards to Amane and her dissociative displays. Especially since in the instances she's used kanji she was either trying to invite someone to her religious endeavors (Futa & Mikoto) or scorning them for breaking a tenant of them (Yuno & Shidou).

This further gives credibility to the Mahiru being an exception because in this time line Amane is giving her a warning for taking Shidou's help but still does not use kanji. The use of katakana here could imply saying a persons name with emphasis of some sort either harshly, gently, or in a way that makes it feel as though one is looking directly at them and their being.

"…….Who are you? How peculiar. Could it really be that you aren't Kayano Mikoto?"

The Timing

After Mikoto’s guilty verdict he became closed off. This resulted in other prisoners avoiding him out of discomfort. Not necessarily because he became violent but because to them, he was no longer the Mikoto they had gotten to know. Something that scared some and was off putting to others.  

Q.07 Are there any prisoners you get along with?

Shidou: Kayano-kun has become like that, and I can’t spend my time smoking at the moment, so the smoking trio has disbanded, which is a bit lonely.

After his timeline interaction with Futa Kajiyama on October 06, 2021 Mikoto no longer spoke in the timeline.

21/10/06 (Mikoto’s Birthday)

Mikoto: ……ah, Futa? What’s up? Did you come to celebrate my birthday?

Futa: Hah!? Like I care about your birthday. ……what’s up with you, though, you’re usually a lot more excited. I thought you were the sort of idiot who’d make a big deal over your birthday.

Mikoto: Yeah, usually that’d be the case. ……I think I must be getting tired. It’s like I’m anxious over something but I can’t really explain what it is…… Like, the feeling that I’ve been totally wrong about something. Haha, but it’s not like talking to you about it is gonna do anything.

Futa: Yeah, yeah, just like you say. Talking to me about it isn’t gonna help. ……but, it’s not like I don’t get what you’re saying. Or rather, I understand exactly what you mean. And if it’s the same thing as I’ve been feeling, then it will just get stronger as time goes on…… probably. But anyway, rather than talking to someone like me you should go and bother the others. Go and get showered with their stupid birthday wishes.

He didn’t begin speaking in the timeline again until after the second trial of Milgram had officially commenced after August 3, 2022. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChehsI3E4OQ&t=62s)

22/10/06 (Mikoto’s Birthday)

Haruka: Mikoto-san. Um, are you ok……?

Mikoto: Ah, Haru-kun. It’s been a while since we last talked, huh. Yeah, I’m fine. Are you doing ok……?

Haruka: Ah, I’m fine. I’ve been enjoying myself, a lot. Um, I’m sorry, for avoiding you. I was a bit scared. Of you, honestly……

Mikoto: Ahhh, yeah. I’ve been lashing out whenever I go to sleep, right? ……it’s fine. Even I think you’re right to be scared. You know, I kinda just hate that I don’t even know what’s going on myself…… haha. Ah, but despite all that you still came and talked to me because it’s my birthday, right? Thank you, you’ve grown into a good man.

The reason that Mikoto was no longer as present in the portal timelines as he had previously been, is stated to be due to Mikoto (John) coming to the forefront as a response to their guilty verdict.

The impact this has had on his relationships within Milgram is made apparent during his 2023 birthday timeline interaction where he goes from being wished Happy Birthday by only Haruka to no one,

23/10/06 (Mikoto’s Birthday)

Mikoto: ……I wonder if there really is another version of me. And the fact my clothes are in rags and everyone is scared of me is his fault. Even being a “murderer”…… but it’s hard to just believe something like that.

Mikoto: If I talk like this can you hear me? If you can hear, please respond. Why would you do something so horrible. Hey, it’s all your faut, right? ……answer me!

Mikoto: ……Aaaaa!! But I did it for me……! If not, I would’ve broken!!

Mikoto: ––What am I even doing…… Of course I won’t conveniently just get a response like that. I should just stop thinking about everything now…… I’m tired……

Something even worse when you considered he’s went from getting birthday wishes from everyone to that.

20/10/07 (Mikoto’s Birthday)

Mikoto: ■■…… gh…… Gah…… ■■…… aaa…… nh…… ■…… ■■■■■……!!

Kotoko: …………hm. Have you finally calmed down? Kayano Mikoto.

Kotoko: ………… So you want me to wish you a happy birthday? I don’t really mind, but is that really something for you to be saying to me?

Mikoto: You’re the last person I need to have the whole group. If there was just one person left it’d be bugging me all night and I’d never get to sleep, right? At times like this you have to abandon your pride and just say something, right~?

Kotoko: Ok, here you go. Happy birthday. ……if this is what will help you sleep soundly.

Mikoto: Oh, thanks! Now I don’t need to worry~

Put a pin in this timeline by the way we'll be talking about it again soon. Point is, after Mikoto's birthday on October 6, 2021 before the end of the first trial and even the beginning of Kotoko's-

Mikoto stopped talking in the timeline and didn't speak again until trial two began.

21/10/26 (Kotoko’s First Trial)

Kotoko: ……come, Es. Let’s fight together.

Jackalope’s “Second Trial Commencement Notice” Date: August 3, 2022

After that we saw Mikoto in the timeline again on his birthday 22/10/06 (Mikoto’s Birthday) where he spoke to Haruka.

Mikoto: Ah, Haru-kun. It’s been a while since we last talked, huh.

Then he bluntly states what one could already assume from everything else that has occurred on Kotoko's birthday,

22/12/15 (Kotoko’s Birthday)

Mikoto: Ah, Koto-chan. It’s been a while. Both of us have kinda split off from the group, but how’ve things been? A lot’s happened, but fr now let’s try to get along. I mean, it’s your birthday today, right? I got the feeling nobody else was going to do anything, so I came to celebrate.

Kotoko: ……how carefree. It doesn’t matter, a villain like you won’t be forgiven next time either. And when that time comes, it’ll be the end for you. I’ll make sure of it myself.

Mikoto: Ahh?? Just try and do it, you nutjob. I’ll crush anyone who hurts me…… You’re gonna be totally beaten at your own game……!

Kotoko: Hm. The border between the two is getting a lot vaguer. Your entire existence is a crime. And I will see you’re punished for it. That is what Milgram, and Es, and I have chosen.

Plainly for everyone to see. He just straight up says that they've both split off from the group. Comparing how he's alone to how Kotoko is on her own as well to an extent.

All of this illustrates to me that Mikoto (John) was not communicating with anyone over the course of the first trial intermission in general. Not just from what we as the audience could tell.

So, this drastic shift from not appearing at all during the intermission to appearing within two portal timelines over the course of this trials intermission is a change that could be considered a direct result of the change in verdict.

On top of that, unlike before, none of the prisoners seem to be afraid to approach Mikoto or be approached by him. This could very well be because they know it’s the Mikoto they got to know from trial one. Unlike the situation with the previous intermission where he became

"Like that."

In Shidou's vague words,

Shidou: Kayano-kun has become like that.

If none of that is enough- which it really should be. I cannot state enough how much that up there should be enough for this point to stand on its own.

However if it isn't this framing is further supported within his voice drama,

Mikoto Voice Drama 2 Neoplasm

5:03

“But, you know… This isn’t a good thing, probably.”

What do you mean?

“I (boku) might be trying to disappear.”

…

“Evidently, the time I (ore) have been fronting has been getting longer, so this “me” has been able to stabilize. Isn’t that the reason we can talk properly?”

So, if during the time even Mikoto (John) themselves stated they were out longer out of the them was spent being completely antisocial and avoiding speaking to anyone. Why would that suddenly change with now? Why would he start directly antagonizing people especially the youngest person here.

Wouldn't the bigger threat be the guy built like a wall that walked up and basically went if you need help keeping yourself and check I can fold you any time. Not Amane the middle schooler? Like he didn't feel threatened enough to intervene in any part of that conversation but certainly this child inviting to him to pray deserves to be beaten to death for offering him salvation.

Because,

“I” (boku) will save “me” (boku)

Yes, I'm dead ass right now- Both uses in MeMe are just boku.

Oh my gosh it's like people can use whatever way to refer to themselves they want at their convenience or something. Wow, shocker oh my gosh.

Or does anyone want to posit the idea that Mikoto (John) also referred to as ore did not appear in MeMe at all? He visually appeared. That much is for certain no matter how you slice it.

However, this plays into what's said in the subtitles of Double that Mikoto (John) is Double and Mikoto is as the cover of Double alluded to MeMe.

So, that's just Mikoto's song he claimed that shit. He claimed that shit heavily. Under that framing MeMe using boku predominantly throughout while Double uses ore,

Would make a lot of sense. However it would raise the very compelling question of Mikoto what the fuck?

Since MeMe is very much the,

"I did that shit and I'd do it again too."

Song out of the both of them. Where he literally goes fuck you I'm not sorry you're just fucking wrong and-

"The truth will come to reveal itself- I will NEVER forgive you if this is happening to me even though I’m right." - "Why, hey why, please let me out of here."

Well that's some boku shit right there, can't argue with preferred pronouns. Boku all the way through. That's just how Mikoto is. Killing that man, discarding the evidence, having a nice bath after all boku damn. It's hell of unfortunate that things simply were that simple. Yet, ya know all that anger, resentment and hate was simply all Mikoto.

Then there's the whole issue of what Mikoto (John) said within their second trial voice drama. Which not only continues to support the idea that Mikoto (John) was the one mainly out and about during the intermission,

5:45

“As for alters… Why do you think they’re born?”

In precise terms, it’s called dissociative identity disorder. Generally speaking, when a person experiences severe pain or stress a new personality is created to try and isolate the original from the resulting trauma.

“Yeah. I… probably come out to ease the stress I (boku) experiences. The fact that I come out for longer just means that I (boku) is constantly under extreme stress.”

Stress… Namely the environment of Milgram, right?

“Right. Especially the fact that you judged against forgiving Boku is causing a lot of stress. That’s why he’s entrusting me with his heart.”

I see.

10:06

“It’s true that I was the one who wanted to destroy everything… and the weakness of Boku, who couldn’t stand up for himself all alone, might have been the origin of that. But… that’s all there is to it. Is that a sin?”

I’ll be considering that after this.

“After talking to you, I get that you couldn’t forgive what I did. And I’m fine with that.”

…Yeah. That’s right.

“The one Milgram is supposed to judge is Boku – Mikoto, right. He’s not me – so, not John.”

Precisely.

“Please, forgive Boku. If you don’t… I’m sure he won’t be able to deal with this any longer.”

“A sin committed by another personality isn’t a sin”... you’re telling me that’s how I should judge?

“Yeah. If you forgive Boku… I’ll disappear.”

After this Mikoto Kayano regardless of how either refers to themselves was found overwhelmingly,

Innocent. So, if all of this were true (which it doesn't have to be he could have just lied) then I have one question,

Why the fuck is he still here?

If it was as simple as Mikoto (John) presented it to be within their second voice drama then why is he still being implied to be here or here at all?

Why is Mikoto telling Kazui he's concerned about lashing out again?

24/08/05 (Kazui’s Birthday)

Mikoto: ––No, it’s just…… I’m happy for the thought…… But I don’t even know myself what I’ll do next. So I can’t really hang out at the moment, y’know? But…… haha, aren’t you scared, Kazu-san?

Kazui: Hmm, I guess because of my work, I’m used to dealing with rowdy youngsters. Obviously you have your reasons. I don’t feel like prying, though. Well, whenever you feel like it, you’re always welcome. If you’re always on your own it’ll just make you feel worse. I’ll be company if you need to relieve some stress.

Mikoto: Yeah…… I’m not really, y’know, used to relying on other people. Like, I start to worry that I’m being a burden. And it’s hard for me to deal with feeling so pathetic…… If I do say so myself, I’m super Japanese, haha……

Kazui: Hm…… well, I’m fine whatever. If this is what’s easiest for you, I won’t force you. But you know, being in your 20s is still super young. It’s great that you’re so disciplined, but most people won’t worry if you’re a bit of a burden. I mean, I’m almost 40, and I feel like I’m still a kid now.

Now let me shot down my own point real quick-

It makes sense that Mikoto would tell Kazui to stay back because he's concerned that he may lash out again. He doesn't know about the deal Mikoto (John) made with Es. The one where he blatantly states that he will disappear as long as Mikoto is voted innocent. For all he knows it could happen again.

So, let me rephrase,

Why the fuck would Mikoto (John)- Someone who would know about that deal and under this framing have the unrestrained capacity to just destroy Amane and anyone else here warn her about himself?

If he doesn't want to hurt Amane he can just not fucking do that. That's a very real option he has and has taken in the past with others. He fought Kotoko back without injuring her at all- Furthermore, why would it even be necessary for someone only interested in defending themselves to throw hands with anyone else here outside of an instance where there's an attack happening already?

Neoplasm 11:03

"That’s right. I’ll have to disappear eventually, anyway… Disappear, and take all of it with me. I… was born to protect boku, after all."

You were… born for it…

"Yeah. If it’s for boku, I’ll… do anything."

Trial two Written Interrogation

Q.16 Is there something you'd protect at the cost of your life?

Mikoto: MIKOTO'S LIFE.

Even when Mikoto attacked Kotoko it was when she had already begun attacking others. It isn't unreasonable to interrogate the idea that he attacked her while she was preoccupied because he knew she might come for him next. Especially given he was aware of their verdict at the time.

Unless everyone has conveniently forgotten the details of their altercation that Kotoko herself admitted to,

Yonah 0:23

"I attacked everyone in order, but because of the interference caused by Kayano Mikoto and Mukuhara Kazui, who was protecting Kajiyama Fuuta, I couldn't finish it properly. But I was still able to do some damage. After attacking Shiina Mahiru, I had no time left for Momose Amane."

Even so I don't even have to go this far to display that the autheticity of this warning is questionable at best. Because again working under the assumption that the warning is from Mikoto (John) makes it a moot point.

Since as I said before if he didn't want to attack Amane he could just not do that. It makes sense for Mikoto to be concerned about what could happen without his knowledge. He has no control over Mikoto (John) or their actions to our knowledge at this time.

But for Mikoto (John) to behave in a manner that implies that his actions may be out of their immediate control as well and tell Amane to keep her distance- Is noticeably odd. Again he can just not do that shit no one is holding a gun to his head telling him to kill more people or attack anyone.

23/10/06 (Mikoto’s Birthday)

Amane: …….Who are you? How peculiar. Could it really be that you aren't Kayano Mikoto?

Kayano: Huh, who am I? Yeah, that's what I wanna know. Wait, Fuck- uh, get back. I'm in my rebellious phase, so I can't guarantee I won't beat you to a pulp. So just keep your mouth shut about this and get lost.

Amane: ……I'll be sure to heed your warning. However, if you wish to be saved, you should come to us, let's pray together. No matter who you are anyone can be saved.

Kayano: That's stupid….. If there really is a god, he should just show up and save us. I'd pray to a god like that as much as he wants.

Based on the punctuation this isn't a hostile conversation. There are no exclamation points used. It's mostly ellipses and full stops. The only time Mikoto gets noticeably startled in a way that is readable is when "- " is used to show an abrupt cut off.

This may imply that he may have taken a step back from Amane as she tried to move closer to him. Amane also doesn't respond to his warning harshly instead stating she'll heed it. Then invite him to pray together with her. Something that an individual who was just overtly threatened wouldn't usually do if they can safely get away which she can.

She can just leave, she's inviting him to another thing. Directly after he told her to leave. All of this together gives the impression of a hushed and anxious conversation. Not a particularly hostile one.

Under this framing, it could be Mikoto (John) warning Amane about Mikoto. Which would could explain why the text can read as jumpy and concerned about who may be overhearing.

Mirroring the conversation between Kotoko and Haruka in a lot of ways,

23/12/15 (Kotoko’s Birthday)

Haruka: ……please, don’t tell anyone. And also, please, don’t get involved. All I can do, is ask, you……

Kotoko: ––Fufu, fufufufufu. That’s a crazy thing to be thinking. Honestly, it’s weird. But I don’t hate it. If only all the wrongdoers were like you.

Haruka: No…… that’s wrong…… That’s not, why I’m doing, this…… This, isn’t for me…… I have to protect…… so, Kotoko-san……please……

Kotoko: Eh? Ah, yeah, yeah. Well, I promise I won’t get in your way. Honestly, if I could, I’d love to do it myself, but I’ll step back this time. As for what happens next…… I wonder. It depends on Es.

Mikoto (John) is very much in control of his own actions but he doesn't know what Mikoto may do. Now that he's innocent and during the intermission the prisoners are unrestrained.

It's also incredibly different from how Mikoto conducts himself when talking to Kazui about keeping his distance. In that interaction he stays calm and is even somewhat curious asking Kazui,

"But…… haha, aren’t you scared, Kazu-san?"

Then proceeds to have a leveled conversation with him after that.

Unlike when Mikoto was talking to Kazui on August 5, 2024 where Mikoto is calm and leveled. If this is Mikoto (John) his panicked anxious and speaks in a way that implied he physical jumps back to keep away from Amane.

Now if this Mikoto (John) why would he be discussing this in such a way to imply he doesn't have control over his own self. Why would he be pondering about who he is as we see Mikoto do throughout the timeline and in his voice dramas,

"You know, I kinda just hate that I don’t even know what’s going on myself…… haha." - 23/10/06 (Mikoto's Birthday)

Neoplasm

"It’s pretty tough, isn’t it? (laughs) Ever since I came here, so much has been happening that I don’t understand…"

… You really… do laugh when you’re suffering, huh?

"Huh?"

You don’t get angry. You don’t scream. You laugh, like it’s a minor inconvenience.

"Ah… I guess so. I might have that kind of trait."

20/07/08

Yuno: Hey, Mikoto-san. Don’t you get tired being so conscious of others all the time? I mean, you’re free to do what you want though.

Mikoto: Eh…… Aha, what are you talking about? I’m not being conscious or anything. It’s normal to make sure to get along with everyone, right? I mean, when you put it like that, aren’t you the same, Yun-chan? You’re always smiling and getting on with everyone too.

Yuno: I don’t smile unless I actually want to. But with you, when you’re talking with other people it’s more like you only smile deliberately. So I kept thinking, don’t your cheeks get tired? Ah, is this just what happens when you become a working adult? ……you see people like that sometimes.

Mikoto: Haha, you don’t mince your words do you. …….that was never my intention, but now that you mention it, yeah, I guess I do. This might’ve been since I started my job too…… But like, if I was rude to everyone I met, all my efforts would come to nothing, right?

"Why, hey why, I’m nowhere to be found?"

Mikoto has repeatedly brought up difficulty with understanding himself and his habits. Along with put his anxiety when it came to being at fault or to blame for all of this on full display out the gate-

"I’m probably not to blame, it’s probably nothing I’m probably just having a bad dream, I need to wake up soon."

In contrast Mikoto (John) isn't shown to have this crisis of identity bluntly stating in the second voice drama that he was born to keep Mikoto safe and in the second written interrogation that he's willing to give his life for that.

Q.16 Is there something you'd protect at the cost of your life?

Mikoto: MIKOTO'S LIFE.

"I… was born to protect boku, after all."

So, why would he be questioning this now? When he was so ready to to end his own life just to make sure Mikoto wound up innocent. Why would he suddenly feel uncertain about his identity?

Insecurities so similar to the same ones put on display through all of MeMe where boku is only the term used.

"Is this selfish? This isn’t too much is it?" - "Ahhh, it’s the same anywhere I go. It’s like what’s wrong isn’t wrong- I’m already the fake one."

"Could it really be that you aren't Kayano Mikoto?"

"Wait, fuck- uh,"

20/07/15

Amane: Eh, my studies? I enjoy it. To me, studying is something I do for fun. Do you not think the same, Mikoto-san?

Mikoto: Not at all! It’s just a means to an end…… I just did the bare minimum needed to get into a good company. I actually went to an arts uni that had a pretty low subject requirement to enroll, and from there I studied curation and…… uhh, you don’t really know what that is huh. Hmm. Since your way of speaking is so mature, I keep forgetting I need to explain myself properly……

Amane: It’s fine. If there are any words I don’t understand I can look them up later. An arts university, though…… Does that mean you’re good at drawing, then? It may be a bit rude to say, but that’s rather unexpected.

Mikoto: No, not really…? I mean, I could do the bare minimum needed to pass the entrance exam though. Even though it’s called an arts uni, there’s still subjects where you don’t need to draw at all. I’m the sort of person who tries to be efficient, so I worked backwards from the job I wanted to get into and chose to study subjects like direction and management~ ……ah, I’ve done it again……

It seems like Mikoto may have a habit of letting of his guard down around Amane and saying too much as a result or as he says it,

"I need to explain myself properly......"

Not explaining himself as properly as he should. Because he starts speaking too casually and a lot because Amane won't stop him and will just listen. Which can lead to him possibly saying some things he shouldn't have-

"Wait, fuck- uh,"

Mikoto (on his last resort if I picot and act like the other guy I can get out of this): Fuck you kid I'll kick your ass don't tell anyone about this-

Amane (understanding the dissociative horrors): . . . You can always come pray with me sometime.

Mikoto: That's stupid. (So stupid of a suggestion that I actually forgot what I was upset about.)

Amane: ... (He may have to die with the doctor.)

Amane hitting him with the let's pray together was the equivalent of that one post that's like I told somebody I was having an episode and they asked if it was a beach episode- or even the are you like for real sad post. It was such an outlandish fucking suggestion it just balanced him right back out. Like that "That's stupid." ws the most blunt and immediate response he's ever had to anything in this series and it greatly amuses me.

Because like sir-

Q.19   Do you believe god exists?

Mikoto: I don’t believe, no. I don’t feel so strongly that I’m gonna deny the possibility but like, what do I gain from believing?

"That's stupid….. If there really is a god, he should just show up and save us. I'd pray to a god like that as much as he wants."

Like still true he's not denying the existence of god outright and still saying his faith is dependent on what that god can do for him first. So again definitely just Mikoto. Like I'm sorry it's just clearly him.

Even down to going save me and then I'll pray to you aligning directly with his-

"But like, what do I gain from believing?"

All of that self doubt and insecurity throughout MeMe is fully attached to boku meanwhile Double does only use ore. However in the case of Double that is blatantly stated to be a conversation between the surface and the underneath.

Source: Maristelina

This timeline also seems to begin in the middle of a conversation not at the beginning of it. Since I doubt Amane would start a conversation with Mikoto asking who he is.

Outside of that the beginning of this timeline mirrors the end of Amane's one with Mahiru,

23/01/17 (Mahiru’s Birthday)

Amane: Happy birthday. Mahiru-san. How is your body feeling?

Mahiru: ……ah, Amane-chan. Thank you. Yeah, I’m fine. Now I can move around if I use a wheelchair…… It’s all thanks to Shidou-san looking after me……

Amane: I’ll give you one warning. The two of you are dabbling in something tabooed. If you continue to go against the way of nature like this, you’ll just bring an early death upon yourself. Think hard about this.

Mahiru: Amane-chan……? Are you really Amane-chan……?

Also Amane unlike Mikoto when it came to Kazui's timeline where he didn't wish him happy birthday isn't impolite. So this conversation probably began with her wishing him happy birthday and they cut past this to here.

It would also align with Amane's recruiting habits as she went up to Futa and propositioned him on his birthday as well. Using his the day it was as a pretense of sorts.

22/04/19 (Futa’s Birthday)

Futa: Ahh…… I’m not wrong…… I wasn’t doing anything wrong……Shut up, why are you going on an on about something so minor…… It has nothing to do with you…… Aaahhh……

Amane: Oh, were you talking to yourself, Futa-san? Or maybe there’s something there you’re able to see?

Futa: ……! O-oh, it’s just you. It’s nothing. ……but well, on that note. Hey. Don’t you have anything happening too? Since being in here, just suddenly getting anxious. Feeling as though loads of people are all there condemning you, telling you you were wrong.

Amane: ……I’m fine. I don’t know what you’ve done or what it is you’re worried about, but I think if there’s something you believe in, you should stay true to it. It’s not something that should waver just because other people said something. I personally don’t plan on changing my own beliefs even if I’m told I’m wrong either…… ……today is your birthday, correct? I’ll pray for God to keep you under his care.

23/04/19 (Futa’s Birthday)

Futa: ……! Oi, is it just you. Don’t scare me like that. You shouldn’t just stand there saying nothing. Hah, what? Did you just come to laugh at me for being weak? Dumb brat.

Amane: No. I just came to observe. To see what people are thinking. To see who is being corrupted. What about you, Kajiyama Futa?

Futa: I understand even less of what you’re saying than I did before. Brat, you’re on the side who weren’t forgiven too, right? ……so why can you still stand. Don’t you can hear it too? The voices blaming us. ……I don’t have the energy to do anything like this.

Amane: It goes without saying. Because there’s something far more important than the voices of people we can’t even see. People are able to get back up again. As long as there’s something to guide them. Kajiyama Futa, by coincidence today happens to be your birthday, correct? Don’t you think it’s a good opportunity to be reborn? If, right now, you could shake off those around you trying to drag you down to depravity, and could change––

Since this interaction ended with a similar proposition and Amane has wished Mikoto happy birthday before. Implied in his very first birthday timeline she'd remember it. Just as she remembered Futa's without needing any reminding. So she probably wished him a happy birthday prior to the point we were allowed to listen end.

Making this the tail end of their conversation and why it seems to start so abruptly.

Outside of that there have been some interesting things with time concerning Mikoto's timelines.

The one between him and Kazui was released at five pm JST August 5, 2024 and the one today was put up at seven pm JST. This aligns with the times that Amane and Mikoto state to be up and sleep at during Milgram.

Q.15 What time do you go to sleep and wake up?

Amane: I sleep at 9pm and wake up at 6am.

Q.20 Are you more of a morning person or a night person?

Mikoto: I used to be basically nocturnal. Recently though I’ve been falling asleep pretty early.

Something that conflicts with the timing of his first birthday timeline that from comments that can be seen on that was posted in the middle of the night.

Though this very well could be a manner of time zones and there's no way for me to tell when exactly this was posted. Not for lack of DoctorBunny trying.

But the timeline itself implies it's the middle of the night as well. Not only that but Mikoto (John) was lashing out because Kotoko not wishing Mikoto a happy birthday was troubling Mikoto.

And as we learned trial two-

Q.15 What's something you can't forgive?

Mikoto: THINGS THAT TROUBLE MIKOTO

20/10/07 (Mikoto’s Birthday)

Mikoto: ■■…… gh…… Gah…… ■■…… aaa…… nh…… ■…… ■■■■■……!!

Kotoko: …………hm. Have you finally calmed down? Kayano Mikoto.

Kotoko: ………… So you want me to wish you a happy birthday? I don’t really mind, but is that really something for you to be saying to me?

Mikoto: You’re the last person I need to have the whole group. If there was just one person left it’d be bugging me all night and I’d never get to sleep, right? At times like this you have to abandon your pride and just say something, right~?

Kotoko: Ok, here you go. Happy birthday. ……if this is what will help you sleep soundly.

Mikoto: Oh, thanks! Now I don’t need to worry~

Yeah, remember when I said put a pin in that. Okay, time to take that out. This timeline serves to foreshadow Mikoto being unrestrained. Since here Mikoto (John) attacks Kotoko while the first trial is still underway. Something that we learn in trial two the prisoners aren't allowed to do.

"By the way, fighting between the prisoners will be prohibited once you’ve woken up. It’s for the sake of MILGRAM progressing. So relax, and take a breather for the moment. That is to say, anything note-worthy will happen after the end of the second trial."

Jackalope specifically says it's for the sake of Milgram progressing. So, this measure was more than likely in place from the start. Just like the barrier that was meant to protect Es from the prisoners attacking them. It just didn't work on Mikoto (John) because he's not the prisoner.

This also serves to highlight that the portal timelines do have foreshadowing within them that aligns with the information observed from other parts of Milgram Something I feel better highlights the point I'm trying to make. There isn't just one thing that will allow people to know what's going on at a glance when it comes to this series. Milgram is a series that actively rewards viewers for engaging with it.

Trying to keep things simple will just make Milgram into the joke many of the prisoners already believe it to be. Well, there's nothing wrong with a good joke every now and then just try to make sure it isn't on you though.

It's like the series said from the start-

“UNDER” Which way will you throw down your weight? To be the deceived, or the deceiver.

It's up to the audience how far this goes. Backing out is always an option but if the audience is unthinking then the only destination from here is hell. And a lot of those innocent verdicts were done with very little thought weren't they?