#like i'm happy w it now but maybe tomorrow i won't be

[beneathsilverstars]

Oops.. I already wrote the Isabeau friendquest song... Guess I'm doing this!!

I don't usually share much about songs I'm working on, but this project is so big, I'll lose it if I'm not posting some sorta WIPs... so here are the lyrics (subject to change ofc)!

(Isabeau) Lying under the stars With you I don’t know them But I want to Tell me all of their stories Old and new I want to hear them From you (Siffrin+Isabeau) Lying under the stars With you You don’t know me But I want you to Tell me all of your stories Old and new I want to hear them (Isabeau) I used to know it all, I used to be shy I changed myself into a lovable tough guy But I promise this isn’t all that I can up be If I changed again, would you lo- like me (spoken) Isabeau: It doesn't feel great, when people think I’m stupid just because I act a certain way. So… I might change to be a mix between a jock and a nerd. Someone who’s both strong and smart. Doesn't that sound like someone you wouldn't feel ashamed of knowing? Siffrin: Isa… I have never felt ashamed of knowing you. Not even a little bit. Isabeau: Heh, you're gonna make me blush, Sif! And, well… You know I feel the same, right? (Isabeau) Your jokes are puntastic, your laughter so bright When you talk about the theatre, your smile’s such a sight When you pause for breath, I want to breathe with you too You’re the coolest person I know, I lo- love spending time with you (Siffrin+Isabeau) Lying under the stars With you You could know me I could know you Tell each other our secrets Old and new I want to share them With y- (spoken) Bonnie: Aha! See, I told you they’d be here!

[simplyvyn]

"THIS IS MY DEAR LOVER."

Hii!! I hope ur doing great! I'm that reader who loves ur kaiser fic last week hehe :] it's been over a week, so I wonder if reqs are open rn but I'd love to suggest a Kaiser x (german) fem reader who's really close to her father and wants to bring Kaiser to meet him 🥺 gn reader should be fine too!! Thank u♡ -req !

M. Kaiser x reader | wc: 1.8k

Warnings: ooc kaiser like very, implied fem! reader, fluff, crack or maybe not, german typings w/translation!, german! Reader

"Mikka!!" You shouted as you went into the living room where your lovely but not lovely boyfriend is there.

"You don't need to shout my name, Mein Liebling." He looks at you from the side and went back to his book that he was reading. He raised his reading glasses to fix it till you sat next to him making his focus on to you. You took the opportunity to speak.

"Meine liebe, look!! Wait no, don't look. I'll be the one to tell you." You cleared your throat and sat up straight while Kaiser closed his book and continued resting his head on his hand.

"My sehr geliebter Eltern, wants to meet you, mein lieber Liebhaber." You squealed as you held your hands as if you were truly excited.

"Well for context, i have been talking about you to my father, and if your gonna ask, its part gute dinge part part schlechte dinge. But they liked you!"

Thats what you thought. And here your boyfriend was kind of overthinking. Your parents liked him? As if! What if when they actually meet, your father will beat him up? Part schlechte dinge? Did your parents judge him for it? What if your father is like his? All his thoughts were completely opposite of yours.

Unlike his, your thoughts were more.. What should we do first? Where should they meet? Where should they eat? You were quite excited. But that completely changed your mind when you saw Kaiser, he was surprised. You can't tell if its good or bad, he didn't look angry nor happy. More like fear?

"I know what I'm assuming is so out of character for you but.." Your two hands sneaked up to hold his. "He really does like you. I'm 200% sure he won't assume anything negative at all."

"That is, if you're busy or have a match or practice. When are you available." You asked and he snapped out of his thoughts. "I guess tomorrow. Any time is fine."

"Eeeekk! Ich liebe dich so sehr!" You wrap your arms around his neck as you hug him. "Its gonna be very fun, i promise." You said as you sat down and laid your head on his shoulder while you text your parents. He thought he never saw you as much happy as you are now. You seem to be quite fond to your father. He was quite selfish yet even he was shocked. He was happy that your happy with your father.

That was fast. That tomorrow was already is today. He let you choose his clothes honestly. You just said for him to pick on his own and say that any is fine. Just not too formal. And he understood the assignment by the way.

He drove you guys to your old house or province. Your house wasn't too big. It was just perfect for a family. Kaiser took a notice to that. He parked your car and then went out to rush to your side of the car and opened it.

"Thanks, schatz." As you come out. Only theb you realized he was quite more.. quiet than his usual smug personality is.

Pinch.

"Stop being so nervous. 'Ts just my dad! You'll br fine." You pinched his cheeks."

"I didn't say anything!"

You knocked on the door awaiting for your dad and to your surprise, he's the one to open the door with your mom peeking from the kitchen.

FULL GERMAN TYPINGS START HERE!

"Hallo, Kleiner!" (Hello, little one!) Your dad spoke.

"Hallo, lieber vater! Das ist mein Geliebter, Michael." (Hello, dear father! This is my lover, Michael.) You spoke, introducing your partner to your father.

"Haha! Ich hätte nicht erwartet, dass er schöner aussieht, als Sie sagten. Sie übertreffen meine Erwartungen." (Haha! I didn't expect him to look more handsome than you said, you exceeded my expectations, young man.) You nudge your father with your elbow.

Haha, du brauchst einen gutaussehenden Mann für eine schöne Frau, weißt du? (Haha, you need a handsome man for a beautiful daughter you know?) Kaiser shook hands with your father and then you hit Kaiser with your elbow. He still had his ego.

Eventually, you two sat down at the dining table to talk with your dad while your mom cooks up food.

"Ich habe tatsächlich etwas von Deutschlands Nationalgericht, Sauerbraten, gekauft." (I actually bought some of Germany's national dish, sauerbraten.)

Honestly you were shock when he took out the food. You didn't even know he had brought some. How? Did he already prepare it? Or did he order it? Wait, is he trying to make a first good impression? That's funny.

Your mom squealed from the kitchen. "Sauerbraten? das ist eines meiner Lieblingsgerichte!" (Sauerbraten? this is one of my favorite dishes!)

Your father and your mother thanked him for the food and your dad decided to talk about your lover for a while.

FULL GERMAN TYPINGS ENDS HERE!

You have to admit, even you were slightly nervous. Its the first time in a while that your dad had slight tension.

"So, Michael. Do you have a job currently?" Your dad asked.

"Dad, i already tol-"

"I'm not sure if you're familiar with me but, I'm a famous soccer player in german right now. I have a match coming up next week, you should watch me." Then he brought out two front row seat tickets, one for your mom, one for your dad.

"None tickets for my daughter?" That definitely gave you more tension.

"She already has three front row seat tickets to my next three match. Including to the tickets i gave you, sir." SIR? KAISER WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

"Wait, may i ask, what's your last name?" My dad asked.

"Oh, Kaiser. Michael Kaiser." He answered politely.

"Oohh! Now i remember you, i remember seeing that tattoo on your neck somewhere. You're from Bastard München. Correct?"

Kaiser chuckled and answered, "Yes, sir. Its my pleasure to meet you." Then Kaiser shook hands with him again. You hope your dad don't see that as provoking him.

Your dad laughed.

"I like you, young man! You better marry my daughter soon, okay?"

"Dad!"

Then your mom asked from the kitchen, "Speaking of, how long have you two been together?"

Cough, cough

"A year.. and a half." You both answered at the same time.

"WHAT! and you didnt plan to tell us?!" Your mom answered. Then your father spoke.

"Only you, dear. Half of the year, your daughter has been chatting me about her boyfriend."

"Dad !" You called your dad, while Kaiser just laughed from it.

Wait. Laugh? Thats not much in Kaisers vocabulary. Wow, and he seemed much cuter when he has a genuine one. What a pretty boy. Maybe you are lucky.

"I'm expecting more from you, soccer prodigy of germany! I'm glad you have chosen my daughter." Your dad chuckled and even Kaiser laughed.

"Is that supposes to be an insult, dad?.." you answered with a sigh.

"I am glad too. Very glad."

Little did you know, his hand was sneaking up to yours under the table, holding it firmly but with gentleness.

"Food's done! Lass uns essen!" (Let's eat!) Your mom spoke from the kitchen as she walked to the dining room, putting down the food as she sat down next to you father.

"Now, i'll be the one asking questions to Michael." Your mom said with a grin to your father.

"Say, Michael, i expect that you and my daughter didn't do anything wrong, right? I don't want a police coming to my house.."

"Mom! I would never even!"

"Mrs. L/N, I assure you, those are not in my vocabulary. Other than being the best in soccer, and winning, taking care of and protecting your daughter might already be my top priority."

Your mom squealed. "Such words! I expect good from you Sir Michael, i'm also telling this to you, Y/N." Your mom then glared at you glare back.

"Oh please, wanna know my vocabulary? Its having patience with him." And your parents just laugh it of, while your looking at a blushing mess Kaiser.

He didn't expect he'd even be in a table like this with parents. And you. This is quite relaxing. Maybe he should have more of these. Kaiser thought.

Mein liebling - My darling

Der Schatz - dear

Mein liebe - my love

sehr geliebter Eltern - my beloved parents

mein lieber Liebhaber - my dear lover

Ich liebe dich so sehr - i love you so much!

A/N: chat im sorry if this is short☹️☹️ reqs r always open! Sorry if this took long too, requester..😓 I ALSOXWANT TO APOLOGIZE IF MY GRAMMAR IS SUPER BAD HERE... german, nor english is my first language😥

[mochalate]

[intro] new notification!

msby!atsumu x reader || w/c: 560 Atsumu discovers that the only thing worse than online dating, is dating advice online. a/n: oh look at that, another atsumu fic!! this one is less stressful for me though. its pretty short, with a cute little plot that won't cause me planning paralysis. making edits for atsumu is always so fun <3 i hope you'll read it!!

[chapter 1->]

r/relationship_advice • 3 hours ago

u/fattytuna95

I want to ask out my twin brother's girlfriend.

It's not as bad as it sounds. She's not really his girlfriend.

I'll try to explain.

We're colleagues, sort of. (Me and her— I'd rather starve to death than work for my brother.)

Last month, someone took a picture of us leaving the office. I was only walking her to her car but the person who took the picture wanted to imply that we were dating.

And that wouldn't have been an easy rumour for her to handle, so I got my brother (identical twin) to post a picture with her on his socials.

Obviously, just one picture wouldn't work to convince anyone, so they've been meeting up a couple times a week (they have similar interests, so they were friends already) to be seen together.

Now here's the issue— I never saw her like that before, and I thought it was just fucking annoying to watch people be lovey dovey, fake or not... but one of my other colleagues said it sounded like I was jealous.

And fuck, I am.

Do you think she'd be mad if I asked her out? I reacted pretty badly to the original picture. And I'm worried my brother likes her for real (those photos they're posting are kind of convincing...)

Edit: for everyone asking, no, I can't ask my brother. he'll know why, and if he really does like her I don't want to mess with it. and if he doesn't he won't let me hear the fucking end of it. i can hear the best man speech already.

↑ 25 ↓ •••

u/unicornpoodle • 2 hours ago

lol dude (I'm assuming you're a dude, unless you're a girl who unfortunately is built exactly like your brother) are you sure you like her and aren't just jealous of your brother being happy? fake or not

↑ 50 ↓ •••

u/fattytuna95 • 2 hours ago yeah i'm sure. I cut out a picture of one of my teammates and pasted it over his ugly mug and it made me even angrier. ↑ 35 ↓ •••

u/msbygirlie_13 • 2 hours ago

Oh hey!! I recognise you from the atsumu miya subreddit!! That's so cool you have a twin just like him!! And his brother got a gf recently too!!! (I think they're fr tho lol.)

Okay hmmm this is a tough one. wdym when yuo said 'reacted badly'??? and what was so bad about the rumour in the first place if it's an option for you now???? this is kinda weird ngl.

↑ 42 ↓ •••

u/fattytuna95 • 2 hours ago do you really they're the real deal??? I kind of laughed. And now that I look back at it, I think I might have looked way too eager to put it out there that we weren't dating. like I was disgusted or something. :( I wasn't, I just didn't want her to have any trouble. :( :( I'm sorry, I can't explain the situation any more for privacy reasons. ↑ 20 ↓ •••

u/guiltyassassin_ • 1 hour ago

well you don't have to talk to either of them... you said someone took the original photo. maybe they're still stalking?? ask them what they think?

lmfao you guys are either celebrities or highschoolers with this kinda drama

(also you keep calling your brother ugly, but then say you guys are identical? huh????)

↑ 5 ↓ •••

u/fattytuna95 • 55 minutes ago This is kind of an insane idea, but it does make sense. Maybe I'll do it. (and you wouldn't get it.) ↑ 2 ↓ •••

first chapter tomorrow! please like/reblog/reply/send me an ask if you enjoyed it :) it keeps me going lol [my other fics->] divider: @/cafekitsune

[loukaiitis]

Notes and Journal Entries by Kip Kinkel

A compilation of writings by Kip Kinkel. This is for informational and educational purposes only. Post is below the cut.

Disclaimer: the majority of his writing pieces (that have been released to the public) are only available in a typed transcript format, provided by PBS. Because of this, I am only able to include a few images of the original writing. This post will be updated if any new images come out!

Journal Entry by Kip:

"I sit here all alone. I am always alone. I don't know who I am. I want to be something I can never be. I try so hard every day. But in the end, I hate myself for what I've become.

Every single person I know means nothing to me. I hate every person on this earth. I wish they could all go away. You all make me sick. I wish I was dead.

The only reason I stay alive is because of hope. Even though I am repulsive and few people know who I am, I still feel that things might, maybe, just a little bit, get better.

I don't understand any fucking person on this earth. Some of you are so weak, mainly, that a four year old could push you down. I am strong, but my head just doesn't work right. I know I should be happy with what I have, but I hate living.

Every time I talk to her, I have a small amount of hope. But then she will tear it right down. It feels like my heart is breaking. But is that possible. I am so consumed with hate all of the time. Could I ever love anyone? I have feelings, but do I have a heart that's not black and full of animosity?

I know everyone thinks this way sometimes, but I am so full of rage that I feel I could snap at any moment. I think about it everyday. Blowing the school up or just taking the easy way out, and walk into a pep assembly with guns. In either case, people that are breathing will stop breathing. That is how I will repay all you mother fuckers for all you put me through.

I feel like everyone is against me, but no one ever makes fun of me, mainly because they think I am a psycho. There is one kid above all others that I want to kill. I want nothing more than to put a hole in his head. The one reason I don't: Hope. That tomorrow will be better. As soon as my hope is gone, people die.

I ask myself why I hate more than anyone else. I don't know. But my head and heart want him dead. He only knows who I am through reputation, and I know he is scared of me. He should be. One bad day, and there will be a sawed off shotgun in his face or five pounds of Semtex under his bed.

Oh fuck. I sound so pitiful. People would laugh at this if they read it. I hate being laughed at. But they won't laugh after they're scraping parts of their parents, sisters, brothers, and friends from the wall of my hate.

Please. Someone, help me. All I want is something small. Nothing big. I just want to be happy.

End. New day. Today of all days, I ask her to help me. I was shot down. I feel like my heart has been ripped open and ripped apart. Right now, I'm drunk, so I don't know what the hell is happening to me.

It is clear that no one will help me. Oh God, I am so close to killing people. So close.

I gave her all I have, and she just threw it away. Why? Why did God just want me to be in complete misery? I need to find more weapons. My parents are trying to take away some of my guns! My guns are the only things that haven't stabbed me in the back.

My eyes hurt. They hurt so bad. They feel like they are trying to crawl out of my head. Why aren't I normal? Help me. No one will. I will kill every last mother fucking one of you. The thought of you is still racing in my head. I am too drunk to make sense.

Every time I see your face, my heart is shot with an arrow. I think she will say yes, but she doesn't, does she? She says, "I don't know". The three most fucked up words in the English language.

I want you to feel this, be this, taste this, kill this. Kill me. Oh God, I don't want to live. Will I see it to the end? What kind of dad would I make? All humans are evil. I just want to end the world of evil.

I don't want to see, hear, speak or feel evil, but I can't help it. I am evil. I want to kill and give pain without a cost. And there is no such thing. We kill him - we killed him a long time ago. Anyone that believes in God is a fucking sheep.

If there was a God, he wouldn't let me feel the way I do. ....Love isn't real, only hate remains. Only hate."

Essay about love, written by Kip

"Love Sucks

No, I don't believe in love at first sight because love is an evil plot to make people buy alcohol and firearms. When you love someone something it is always taken away from you. I also would like to add that I hate each and every one of you. Because everything I touch turns to shit. I think if you think you fall in love with someone at first sight it might just be lust. Love at first sight is only in movies. Where the people in the movies are better than you. That is why you go to a pone [pawn] shop and buy an AK-15 because you are going to execute every last mother fucking one of you. If I had a heart it would be gray.

It is easier to hate than love. Because there is much more hate and misery in the world than there is love and peace. Some people say that you should love everyone. But that is impossible. Look at our history it is full of death, depression, rape, wars and diseases. I also do not believe in love at first sight. But I do believe in hate at first sight. Therefore love is a much harder feeling to experience."

Monologue written by Kip for a homework assignment. This monologue was written for the character Tybalt of Romeo and Juliet.

"But you know me, I loathe all of them. I am no longer blind in my hatred, I can see with my hate. Blood will flow until they are all dead. This was the first moment in my life where I had taken the life of another. I loved it. It dispelled all the anger and animosity I was feeling."

Note written by Kip, confessing to the murder of his parents. This was found on a coffee table in the living room of the Kinkel's home.

"I have just killed my parents! I don't know what is happening. I love my mom and dad so much. I just got two felonies on my record. My parents can't take that! It would destroy them. The embarrassment would be too much for them. They couldn't live with themselves. I'm so sorry. I am a horrible son. I wish I had been aborted. I destroy everything I touch. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I didn't deserve them. They were wonderful people. It's not their fault or the fault of any person, organization, or television show. My head just doesn't work right. God damn these VOICES inside my head. I want to die. I want to be gone. But I have to kill people. I don't know why. I am so sorry! Why did God do this to me. I have never been happy. I wish I was happy. I wish I made my mother proud. I am nothing! I tried so hard to find happiness. But you know me I hate everything. I have no other choice. What have I become? I am so sorry"

A concerning note written by Kip on a Spanish worksheet

Another concerning note by Kip

"Respect Sheet" filled out by Kip

[animehideout]

A Deal ( Ryomen Sukuna X Reader )

Part 5

part 6 here.

Part 4 here.

a/n: I hope you enjoy this part as well, sorry for taking too long to post this chap. →Since I didn't choose the ending yet, would you like a HAPPY ending ( with either Sukuna / Gojo ) or ANGST ??? ✨

you can vote here concerning the ending

Warnings: SMUT NSFW MDNI , oral sex giving 🔞⚠️

“I won't allow it.. Y/n won't leave with you” said Sukuna as his intimidating form approached both of you.

Turning his hands into fists, “With this treasure.. I summon..” started Megumi, but you quickly stopped him, and stood in front of him.

“Hah! summoning Mahoraga? is this how you thank me for giving you your body back.. completely harmless? how foolish” Mocked Sukuna.

“HE WILL LEAVE” you said, trying to protect Megumi, you turned around facing him “Go Megumi I-”

“No, not without you..”

“No please, trust me” you whispered, giving him a comforting smile.

One of Sukuna's four arms reached yours, pulling you to stand next to him. His second arm wrapped tightly around your waist,

“See Megumi! she is my property now..so you better leave before my mercy fades away”

You gulped as Sukuna started threatening your bestfriend, your eyes pleading him to leave this cursed place. You nodded trying to tell him that you'll be okay. Finally, after putting all of your nerves on the edge, Megumi left.

A wave of relief and depression washed over you. Relieved that Megumi is finally free, safe and soon he'll be reunited with your loved ones. But depressed because now you're utterly and completely alone. Before despite Sukuna taking control over Megumi's body, you still can feel him there, hiding somewhere deep.

A teat rolled down your cheek, oh how much you wanted to leave with him, and pretend that all of what happened was just a nasty nightmare and finally you'll be in Gojo's embrace all safe and sound.

“You agreed to let me see them one last time, why did you change your mind now?” you said in a monotone, eyes looking down.

“Huh? who said I changed my mind? I'm keeping my promise, but you won't go woth Megumi cuz I'm the one who'll be taking you, wait for you and leave again with you” he explained.

“Aren't you scared that Jujutsu sorcerers might execute you? you know they'd be prepared” you asked

“Me? scared of humans? Don't be silly now little one” he answered in a mocking low-tone.

His grip tightened around you, his other arms turned your body, your chest bumping with his. The moment you made eye contact with his glowing red eyes, electricity ran through your system, heart almost jumping out of your throat, his huge up close form scared you away and now you realize how silly you were to ask a stupid question like that...He is indeed the King Of Curses.

You flinched away but he held you in place,

“No don't be scared now, kitten. You know I won't kill you” he laughed enjoying your intimidated face, “I'll keep on sparing your soul as long as you keep behaving like the good girl you are ..right ? my sorcerer? ”he added.

Your hands shaking, forehead dripping with cold sweats, you couldn't do anything but nod.

“W-when are we g-going?” you managed to ask.

“Tomorrow night ..I take you to Jujutsu high”

A flame of hope lit up in your heart, maybe Jujutsu sorceress do something maybe, Gojo doesn't hold back like last time cuz it was Megumi's body and kill Sukuna this time. Maybe finally he'll free you from your misery, and wakes you up from this horrible nightmare, so you can live in your sweet dream that you've had with Satoru.

His long fingers reached your face, running his sharp fingernails on your soft skin and your jawline leaving a trace,

“But for now why don't you focus on me” he started.

“not again” you thought to yourself, you were already sore he just fucked you moments ago, your legs still shaking. As much as he filled you with pleasure you won't let him inside you this time.

“Don't you want to have a taste of this?” he added, taking off what was covering his bottom side revealing his two huge cocks.

You almost shocked at the sight if them, your mind running with thoughts wondering if he could fit both of them in your little hole. If he does, he won't only stretch you out he will tear you in half.

As much as you hate it, you couldn't help all the nasty ideas you've got only by one look, eager to test it.

“Like what you see? now why don't you get on your knees and please me? this body must be worshipped by someone and that someone is..you” he smiled,

as he sat on the edge of the bed pushing you down in a kneeling position,

“Let me see you struggle to fit all of this inside your pretty mouth”

Your hands found their way around his first cock while your mouth welcomed his second. Your fingers ran along his hardening length, rubbing it. Trying to please both of them equally.

His hand held the back of your head pushing you forward making his dick go deep inside your throat, making you choke and gag, tears forming in your eyes as you struggled to suck all of him.

Groans and low growls escaped his mouth from all the pleasure, throwing his head back driven by the thoughts of you swallowing his real body's seeds,

“Come on little sorcerer... don't fucking stop”

Taglist 🫶🏻✨:

@kiki17483 @bellagum @certainduckpalaceland @darlax @bontensbabygirl @aquatufana @saiyara05

[indigo-o]

The Pet clown

Pt 2

I think we know who it's abt lmao

Nikolai gogol x reader PLATONIC

And some fyodor

Reader is a teenager

Tw impatient stuff depression, fyodor drugging, sleep deprivation, those annoying blankets they give at mental hospital even tho it's like -1 degrees Celsius if you know you know, talk of death, yandere fyodor, Manipulation from fyodor, Nikolai gogol, I think that's it so yeah

Angst/fluff

I wish you were here, this room is empty. White walls, heavy doors, thin white blankets, and chained blury windows.

This thin gown can't keep me warm. I know him. He just wants what's best for me. I guess that even means putting me in this room. This room to keep me safe.

Safe from me. No possibility of me hurting. I'm to sick leave this bed and to tired to talk. He says I'm helping him.

Im helping him cleanse the world of evil. So I guess if my pain will save the world I'll stay in this room.

Everybody else deserves to be happy and well so I'll hurt for them. If one death would save the world I'd die.

My body's purple now.

I hear a click at the heavy door. To my surprise it wasn't a anemic rat, it was his pet clown.

"QUIZZZZZ TIMEEEEEE! WHY AM I HERE INSTEAD OF DOS-KUN?! I THINK I HEARD YOU SAY CAUSE HES HAVING FUN! CORRECT!".

I looked at him. My eyes were heavy. But he did bring some color to the room. I smiled at him.

I opened my mouth to talk but I couldn't.

"Oh dove you still can't talk! I forgot! Dos-kun told me to take you outside to have some fun.".

He lied, either were not going to have fun or fyodor didn't tell him anything. Either way I was going to have to walk. I knew I couldn't but I was going to try anyway.

Fyodor knew If I could walk I'd escape from him. So he kept me physically, emotionally and mentally sick. I would have no choice to stay.

As soon as I got to my legs I collapsed, but Nikolai caught me.

"Silly me I forgot you can't walk guess I'll carry you.".

He picked me up as if I were a little kid.

"D-dont dr-rop.". I manged to get out.

"Oh dove I may be crazy but not only do we need you, Dos-kun would kill me, but I want to protect you from harm. Not like you can protect yourself in this state.".

I looked at him. Then laying on him. We proceeded to go through his cape.

We were in what seemed to be his house/apartment.

He went to put me down on his couch but he's so warm.

"Wait w-warm.".

He looked down at me.

"I guess we can go out later.". He picked me back up and took me to his bed. Laying me down cuddled with blankets, pillows and now a pet clown. I shut my eyes and finally went to sleep.

I woke up to Nikolai looking down at me.

"Am I a good pillow?". I realized how I was very much on him.

I nodded my head.

"You want to go outside for a bit dove?". He was using a soft tone.

He wasn't ever like this

Maybe because I'm a teenager but I don't know.

He got up "You slept threw the whole night, but the good thing is we have a whole day today and tomorrow, you know why?".

He leaned in close "I lied Dos-kun is away and he doesn't believe in your freedom so I'm here to show him that you're a good kid who won't run away. You see Dos-kun takes away your warmth so you can't sleep making you so tired that's why you slept for so long he wants you to be weak, weak without freedom. I'm here to give you freedom. To fly like a dove.".

He went to his closet and pulled out some clothes.

"Here's so clothes to wear so we're not caught. That sounds weird. I my dear am a very wanted person so I must look different and you can't really walk let alone the sun should hurt you eyes so if I were to be caught you wouldn't leave be caught up in it.".

What ever he said I guess.

I changed and so did he and he look pretty different

He picked me up and took me to wheel chair that he some how got, but I shouldn't question it.

He placed me in the chair and we Leigt looked like sibling going out for fun.

"F-flowers please.". I looked to him.

"You want flowers we will get flowers.".

We went to florist.

"Hi! What flowers are yall looking for!". She sounded very happy.

"What do you want dear?". Nikolai asked

While I could barely see I knew exactly what I want.

"R-rose and Lillys.".

"Of course dear I'll get right to that!".

The rest of day was amazing

I got flowers, yummy pastries and other stuff.

Who knew a deranged clown could be so kind. But at last we came back to his apartment/house.

He made dinner for us and helped me get to the bed. He tucked me in.

"Good night dove.".

I woke up

Back in the room

The room with white walls, a heavy door, thin blanket and blury chains windows. But now there wad a desk but with roses and lily's on top of it.

I heard the door click. An anemic rat with his pet clown walked in.

"You've proven yourself for now, you may keep your roses and lily's. Nikolai may visit you now and then. One thing. You may not regain full energy but.".

He stopped his words and Nikolais smile grew.

"YOU CAN HAVE A NICER BLANKET AND I CAN READ BED TIME STORYS TO YOU ONCE A WEEK!".

He ran over to with a puppy dog smile.

"Don't make regret this.". The anemic rat walked away throwing the key at the pet clown.

That was alot longer than I expected but I hope yall liked it!♡♡

[harveybwabbit92]

{Akari showing photos of herself along with Mile and Nayaka and few other UFG members, one picture stands out to Leo who decides to poke fun at her.]

Leo, points at a teenage boy: Who's that? your boyfriend?

Akari, looks grossed: Ew, no! that's your grandson, dude! I used to change his diapers!

Leo, blinks:............My w-what?

{Akari gets an oh crap look on her face, when she realizes Leo didn't know about Mile's son.]

Akari: Okay, I just remembered I have this thing... to do... at this place, bye! *runs away*

Leo:

{Later]

Mile, singing under her breath: I don't want to set the world on fire....I just (Sees Leo sitting in her living room) Eek! *Ahem* Hey dad, everything okay?

Leo: Why didn't you tell me I had a grandson?

Mile: How did- *Leo holds up the photo of Akari and Mile's son* Oh.

Leo: I supposed your married then, what's he like does he treat you well?

Mile: I'm not married, dad. And the boy's not actually related to you I adopted him. of course calling him a boy a bit of a stretch since Kouki's a grown adult now with a child of his own.

Leo: I'm great-grandfather?!

{Mile pretty sums it up for him, when she was still part of the UFG's rescue unit she found a large house that was caved in she could already tell there were dead bodies in there, the smell gave it away... But what she wasn't expecting was the sound of baby crying.

Mile was in a panic as she dug into the rubble before finding a small niche where the body of a woman lay her bottom half was crushed under the rubble, but a few inches away; just out of her outstretched arms reach was baby boy covered in dust and scrapes, Mile carefully picked up the baby up and got him to the medics but a few days later she couldn't get the kid out of her head she checked in on him and found his entire family was wiped out.]

Leo: The whole family?

Mile: Yeah, it was some kind of family event and that's why they all there in one place, and then I took Kouki home.

Mile: Nayaka was soo against it. She said "Milene, we hardly know how to look after ourselves, what makes you think that you can take care of a baby?!" we didn't talk to each other for a while after that, we both used Akari to spy on each other, until she got sick of it and told us to to grow a pair and sort our own crap out..And we did.

*Points at a photo of Kouki's elementary school graduation with Nayaka and Commander Sato in attendance with Mile.*

Mile: Then a few years down the line he met a girl and got her pregnant before he finished high school... That's where your great-granddaughter Kairi came from. Kouki's raising her by himself, I won't talk about her mother, that woman is undeserving of the title. But Kairi is the sweetest little girl, She's only 3 and like to draw dinosaurs as astronauts. She says she wants to join the UFG when she's older though I'm not holding my breath, a kid's mind can change after all.

Leo: Why haven't I met them yet?

Mile: They're on vacation right now, but are due back tomorrow.

{The next morning Mile and an anxious Gen waited at the airport for Kouki and Kairi to arrive, Mile nudge her dad when she spotted her son and granddaughter among the crowd disembarking passengers. Kairi was the first to spot her grandma and ran into her arms as Kouki told her to slow down. Mile greeted them both, then Kairi noticed Gen standing off to the side.]

Kairi, points at Gen: Who dis?

Mile: This is Gen Otori, my dad. your grandfather.

{Gen nervously greeted his grandson and granddaughter and needless to say. they both took a shine to him very quickly, Kairi in particular became very a attached to grandpa lee whenever Leo visited Earth she always had something to show or give him pictures she drew which he proudly hangs in his room back home.]

_meanwhile_

Zoffy: You don't have any secret children I should know about, do you?

Nayaka: I'm too busy for kids...But, wait and see maybe someday.

Zoffy: Right. someday.

{Someday came in the form of a steamy "I'm so happy you're alive!" moment between Nayaka and Zero and a few months after that Alto was born.]

---------------------------------------

{Mile is short for Milene}

[smoooothoperator]

Save Your Tears

07: You're On Your Own, Kid

Driver! Mick Schumacher x opera singer! OC (Ophelia Becker)

Strangers to friends to lovers, love at first sight, long plane flight, personal drama, opera references

Words: 3.3k

Warnings: burial, feelings

Every way of feedback is very welcomed

Masterlist

previous part | next part

They fell asleep on the couch. She was holding him and he was holding her like it was the only thing that mattered, like if their hearts were magnets that finally got together and we're hard to separate.

Ophelia felt safe in his arms and Mick felt loved in her arms.

That feeling his chest had whenever he thought about being in love, a love that was one sided, was now different. His chest felt warm, burning with comfortable flames that didn't hurt him. Slowly, the letters of the name engraved on his heart started to change their shapes, starting to form a completely different name. Now, thinking about love means being next to her and making sure that she smiles, that she talks, that she eats and sleeps. 

Both of them have broken hearts, but he knows that the wound on her heart is fresher, more painful. He knows he has to help her heal, and he hopes that in that process he can heal himself.

The ringtone on his phone woke him up, making him and Ophelia groan softly, but thankfully she stayed in the same position. He sighed, rubbing his eyes and looked at the contact name.

"Josh, hey" he groaned, trying to wake himself up.

"Hey, you have everything ready?" he asked. 

"What?"

"For the rehearsal and the party after that" he reminded him. "Come on, good morning!"

"Yeah, about that… eh…" Mick sighed, looking down at Ophelia. "Today will be impossible to go. Really, I'm so sorry"

"Are you joking? What happened?"

"Yeah, family problems" he lied. "You know how those things work…"

"Is your dad okay?" Josh asked worriedly. 

"Yeah, yeah… No, it's not about him" he sighed. "But yeah, I'm sorry. I can't go today"

"Okay… Well, see you tomorrow"

"Yeah, see ya"

Mick sighed, leaving the phone back in the pocket of his joggers and hugged Ophelia tighter. Her hair smells like fruits, and it makes him happy to have her on his chest. He kissed softly the crown of her head, breathing her scent on closing his eyes.

This is more than a crush, he knows it. He only hopes it's not one sided. 

"Morning" she mumbled after feeling his lips on her head.

"Hey" he smiled. "How are you feeling?"

"I don't know" she whispered, hiding her face on his neck.

He's not supposed to smile at that moment. He's not supposed to be happy when she does things like that. But he can't help it. He can't help but feel more flames inside his chest.

"It's okay, you don't have to figure it out now" he whispered in her ear.

She wanted to stay in that position. She didn't want to move to leave his embrace. So she just clinged closer, hiding her face on his neck and with her hand on his hair.

"I wish I could stay like this all day" she whispered on his neck, making him feel goosebumps all over that zone. 

"We can" he whispered. "After we come back from the cemetery, okay? You'll have all the cuddles you want"

She took a deep breath and nodded. Right, the burial. The official goodbye of the only family she knows. 

Uhg.

"The one that called you was your friend?" he asked her, changing the topic.

"Yeah, I told him I won't go to the rehearsal and the party" Mick sighed.

"What? Why?" she frowned looking at him.

"Why? Because you are burying your mother" he said. "I told you I won't leave you alone, Ophelia"

"So you won't go to the wedding?" she frowned.

"Oh…" Mick sighed, looking at her. "W-well…"

Ophelia sighed, smiling weakly. He's a sweetheart, he doesn't want to leave her alone. But she feels bad because of it.

"You know what? Come with me" Mick said.

"What? Mick!"

"I'm serious" he said. "I'm really serious. I don't want to leave you alone and you are making me go. Plus, maybe in that way you just can clear your mind a little?"

"So what, I'll appear there with you without a warning?" she sighed.

"I mean, I said my sister would come" Mick said, shrugging his shoulders. "It's just a change of plans"

"But…" 

Mick smiled at her, making her sigh and hide her face on his neck again. 

A wedding the day after burying your mother? And going to a wedding of two strangers with a guy she just met a few days ago?

But he's not a simple guy. He's Mick. The one that threw her a lifesaving float to not let her drown on depressing. The one that refuses to let her go. The one that confessed his sins and demons. The one that, in a short period of time, has already a significant space in her heart. 

How can she feel happy to find someone like him on a day like that? How can she feel lucky to find someone that met her in her lowest and get he didn't run away? How can she feel safe in his arms to the point of believing that there is where she belongs?

How can a little crush grow so fast to the point of falling for him after he saved her? How can she think about kissing him and saying all her thoughts out loud? But… what if he doesn't feel the same and he only feels pity for her?

"Okay" she heard herself say.

"Great" he smiled, kissing her temple, making her blush. "You have a dress?"

"Plenty of them" she sighed. "But… in my apartment"

"Okay, so… I'll go to your apartment, grab one, and then we can come back here" he stated.

She sighed, blushing. He wants her to go, he really does. But why? 

"I know that what will happen today will be hard for you" he sighed. "And even if I want you to smile, I know that it will take a while for you to do that. But please… Don't let this get you down. You are not alone"

Ophelia nodded and sigh, placing a soft kiss on his skin before sighing. She knows she has to get ready, she knows she has to go to the cemetery. And knowing that Mick will be with her it relieved the pain.

"Do you want to get a shower?" Mick asked. "The bathroom is yours, yeah?"

"Thank you" she whispered.

She got up slowly, trying to not make him uncomforable with her movements and went towards the guest's room, grabbing clean clothes and the black dress she wore the previous day. 

"Just a few hours" she whispered, holding the material of that dress before going towards the bathroom.

She needed it. She needed to feel the water running down her skin, somehow calming her. She needed to be alone for a few minutes, thinking straight about what will happen in a few hours and what will happen the next day. She needed time alone to think about Mick.

The way he held her at night, the way he held her hand, the way he kissed her temple. She started feeling butterflies in her stomach and she's scared of them, of them showing up at the wrong time. 

She lost her mom and she's falling for someone the same day? Is that even good?

She finished taking the shower and got out of it, wrapped on a towel. The black dress was hanging behind the door and all she wanted to do with it was throw it to the trash, not look at it anymore.

"Just a few hours" she repeated, drying herself before getting dressed.

When she walked out of the bathroom and saw Mick's dog waiting for her, waving her tail excitedly, making her smile softly.

"Hey" she smiled, kneeling in front of the dog, petting her head softly and smiling when she saw her take small steps closer to her.

"Angie, hey! You are going to put hairs on her dress!" Mick said, looking at the scene from the kitchen.

"Don't worry, I can brush them off" Ophelia said, looking at him.

Mick smiled, looking at her. She was already dressed with a towel wrapped around her hair. She seemed more relaxed, maybe the warm water helped her to take the pain away.

"How are you feeling?" he asked her carefully, watching how she walked to sit in front of him.

"I just want this to end" she sighed. 

"Yeah" he nodded, smiling weakly.

What does she want to end? Somehow what she said got stuck in his mind. Maybe she doesn't want to be with him anymore. He was with her during the worst moment of her life, maybe she doesn't want to remember it again. 

"I'll go get changed" he said, standing up and kissing the top of her head before going to his room.

He wishes she never leaves. For once in his life his mind is not always thinking about Stephanie. He doesn't care anymore about when he should tell her that he was in love with her, or that she was the love of his life.

His only worry is to make sure that Ophelia is alright, not that he will see the love of his life getting married with another man. 

Black looked good on him, he knows it. His racing suit is black, his car is black. But he hates how his suit, a black shirt and a black tie look together. The previous day he didn't think about it, he just grabbed black jeans, a black jumper and a black coat to go find her again. But knowing that he will go to her mother's burial, it breaks his heart.

"Ready?" Mick asked, walking out of his room. 

While he was getting changed, Ophelia went to the bathroom and tried to do her makeup, just to not look dead. 

"Yeah" she smiled weakly, brushing the material of her dress with her hands and walking with Mick out of his house.

The way to the cemetery was silent. He was afraid of saying something and she was trapped inside her mind, thinking about what will happen next.

She got out of the car after him. It was weird, she didn't notice when she got out of the car, following him where a small number of people were surrounding the coffin of her mother. She felt his hand on her back, standing next to her and slowly holding her hand.

"Are you okay?" he asked her, squeezing her hand softly.

"Yeah, yeah" she nodded, taking a deep breath. "Yeah, don't worry"

Mick nodded and sighed, standing next to her. It was a quick act, the burial started immediately after they arrived. He looked at her worried, not knowing how she would react to it. Would she cry? Would she be stoic? Would she stand there and then walk away like nothing happened? He doesn't know what she will do.

People walked towards her and repeated those words she started to hate. Some of them said how wonderful her mother was, how great she was. Others said that now she is the heir, the only Becker and that they expect great things from her.

Ophelia wanted to laugh. But not the laugh when someone says something funny, or when you are happy and you want to share it to the world. No, she wanted to laugh out of sadness. She wanted to laugh in the face of those who only came to remind her that she's alone, that she has to do better than her mother. She wanted to laugh because people think they are friends with her, when they only expect good results from her job and lots of money.

Where are her grandparents? Where is her father? Did they show up and were one of those idiots that didn't say that they are sorry for her loss? Or they were hiding away behind a tree, making sure no one finds them?

How can she be so alone in a moment like that?

"Ophelia" 

Mick looked down at her, watching how she was holding her hands in front of her lap and slowly scratching the skin around her nails. 

"We can leave now" she said, taking him by surprise. "She's buried, and I don't know none of them"

Mick sighed. Maybe she's still grieving. Maybe she's in one of those phases of grieving.

"Are you sure you are okay?" he sighed, holding her hand and watching how her shoulders dropped after he asked that. 

"Please, not here, Mick" she sighed.

He sighed nodding, holding her hand and walking away towards the car. When he closed his door he looked at her, waiting for her to speak or just give a signal of how she's feeling.

"It's so hypocritical to say things like that in the burial of someone's mother" she said, looking down at her fingers. "That they expect me to do better than her? That they hope that I'm as great as her? Bullshit!"

"I know, Ophelia…" he sighed looking at her.

"You don't, Mick!" she exclaimed looking at him, feeling tears in her eyes. "You don't know what this feels like! Your dad is alive! He's alive but my mother is dead!"

Mick frowned, swallowing thickly and looking at her hurt.

"Do you know who they were?" she asked. "People that only watch us and think that they know us, that they have the right to tell us those things. You know what it is to be a musician? We spend more money on our job than the money we get paid. You saw how my apartment is. Then look at yours. How much do you get paid?"

"Ophelia…" he sighed.

"You know how much I got paid for only a concert of Romeo and Juliet? Only six thousand. And from those six thousand I only can keep for myself a thousand of them because I have to pay other people that work for me. I have to pay my agency so I can have more concerts, I have to pay my pianist and I have to buy scores…"

"I do know what it feels like!" he exclaimed looking at her. "You think I don't? You know what is it to get in a car and drive at the speed I drive? I have people that compare me with my father! I have people that think that only because they watch my races they can talk to me like a friend! I may not be a musician like you, but we are so much alike, Ophelia!"

She looked at him, flinching softly. She never expected him to talk to her like that, but maybe she deserved it. 

"I want to go home" she whispered, looking out of the window.

Mick sighed, feeling a weak stab on his chest after watching her flinch. 

"I'm sorry" he whispered, reaching for her hand.

"Don't be, I deserved it" she whispered.

He shook his head and rubbed softly her hand, watching how she sniffled softly and looked one last time at the cemetery.

Mick admires her. He really does. If he was in her position he would feel lost, not knowing what to do. He grew up with the love of his parents and his sister, and even if his dad is in the condition he is, the love is still there, it never ends.

He likes her. He knows he does. But now he's scared she might think he does all those things for her just for pity. That he's staying next to her because he feels sorry 

"You said you had dresses in your apartment, right?" he asked, trying to ease the tension inside the car.

"Yeah" she nodded, tired. "Are you serious about taking me as your plus one?"

"I am" he nodded. 

When they arrived at her apartment he got out of the car and waited for her. He only hopes she doesn't have another breakdown as the previous day, it would break his heart.

"Let's go" he said, holding her hand and going towards the front door, opening it and going directly to the elevator.

When she told him she had dresses he never expected to find those types of dresses. Her wardrobe looked like one a millionaire would have.

"All of them are from sponsors" she smiled sadly. "And most of them were from my mom"

Mick hummed and looked at the dresses, touching the material of them. His eyes stopped right on a blue one, making him smile.

"I like this one" he said. "I'll wear a tie that is nearly of the same color"

She smiled looking at him and nodded. Is the same blue of his eyes. 

"Mick… Is it right for me going to the wedding of… well… the woman you love?" she asked, looking away from him and searching for shoes to wear with the dress. "I mean…"

"You don't have to worry about it" he said. "I want you to be there, okay?"

"Okay" she sighed, slightly blushing.

Ophelia doesn't understand what is going on inside his mind. She doesn't understand why he wants her to go with him to the wedding. She doesn't understand why he holds her hand that way while being in the car, rubbing his thumb on her knuckles every time he hears her take a deep breath. She doesn't understand why the moment they went back to his house he kissed her temple. 

Why is he looking at her that way? Is it pity? He feels pity.

She doesn't want to get her hopes too high. She doesn't want to believe an illusion.

But she feels helpless, enjoying every touch, every smile, every tender kiss on her temple.

"Good night" he whispered, kissing her forehead the moment he saw her standing up from the couch. 

"Mick" she whispered, holding the fist of his hoodie. "I… Thank you for today. Thank you for everything you are doing for me…"

"Don't thank me" he whispered, looking down at her, feeling how close she was to him. "I would do everything for you"

"You don't mean that…" she whispered.

"I do, Ophelia" he whispered. "I would do everything just to see you smile"

He knew she was beautiful. 

But the moment he saw her walk out of the guests room he knew she was the most beautiful woman he ever saw in his life. 

Stephanie is nothing compared to her. How could he be so blind? 

"W-wow" Mick gasped looking at her. "You look absolutely gorgeous, Ophelia"

"Thank you" she blushed.

The red lipstick she wore matched perfectly with the blue of her dress and with the golden eyeshadow she chose to wear. 

He only wants to have that red on his lips. And not because he painted them with lipstick.

"Are you ready?" he smiled.

She nodded, grabbing the golden clutch.

Mick observed the way she moved. How her back was as straight as the one of a ballerina.

"If you don't feel comfortable just tell me and we'll leave, yeah?" he said. 

"Don't worry" she said. "It will be okay"

He was nervous, he won't lie. His heart right now is confused, blooming with feelings for Ophelia, but he still can feel Stephanie on it. What will happen? He only wants to be happy.

"Mick" he heard Ophelia "It will be okay, yeah? I'll be with you"

"I know" he smiled. "I know, and I'm so grateful for that"

She smiled softly at him and he smiled back at her. He doesn't understand why she changed suddenly, why she's smiling that way. 

But maybe she feels his anxiety, that's why she held his hand. Maybe she knows he still loves Stephanie, that's why she's going with him. Maybe she knows he needs to forget his feelings for her, that's why she looks at him that way.

Maybe Ophelia loves him? Maybe she loves him back?

"Ready?" she asked, walking with him towards the church.

"Yeah" he smiled, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

taglist

@racinggirl @elisysd @lorarri @musingsbyshreya @vellicora @rileynicol3 @generalnav @kakorrhaphiphobia

[zynchi]

a tyrant's vow

content: angst, hurt, a bit of comfort in the end (?)

pairing: riddle rosehearts x gn!reader

summary: you will finally leave nrc and decided to spend your last day with riddle

author's note: i wrote this like a year ago,, sorry for the grammatical errors

"the roses are very pretty today. the flamingos and hedgehogs are also looking healthy. don't you think so, too, my rose?" riddle smiles at you who were walking with him in the rose maze.

this isn't what you expected. you never imagined riddle would welcome you in heartslabyul one last time with a bright smile. is he not bothered by your departure? you were supposed to say your goodbyes to him but how could you when riddle looks like this. it would be bad to ruin his mood.

"my rose?" you snapped back to your senses when riddle called you. "uh....yes, i guess so" you faked a laugh to assure him that you were alright.

riddle held your hands while walking. he's looking very comfortable and enjoying the moment. maybe he's making up the best for your last moments with each other?

"we'll have a croquet competition tonight, my rose. if you'd like to, you could come to watch" riddle invited you. you don't know what to say. you will leave tomorrow and you still hasn't finished packing your belongings yet. "i'll try" that's the best you could say.

"oh and yes, tomorrow afternoon we also have a tea party. i assume you'd be present as well. i'll have trey to prepare his best cake and the desserts too. tomorrow will be just what i - "

"riddle."

riddle stopped walking when he noticed that you aren't following him anymore. he looked back, and you were standing there, looking down. you understand it clearly now.

"yes, rose? are you tired? perhaps we should go inside alread- "

as riddle was about to lead you the way to the lounge but you grabbed his hand. "riddle, please understand it. i'm leaving"

riddle halted, his eyes widening. you knew. you figured out that riddle is diverting the topic and his attention to the fact that his beloved rose will be leaving his side soon. not in a dead state, of course. he just doesn't want to talk about it. he's afraid.

"w-what are you saying, my rose? how about let's talk ins-" tears fell from your eyes, making riddle stunned. you held both of his hands. "riddle, please. at least let me say these things to you." riddle could feel tear drops hitting his hands and he hates it.

"i love you riddle. i love you very much. i don't want to leave but i have to. i want to stay here with you." for some reason, your tears won't stop coming out of your eyes.

riddle fell silent for a while, seeing you like that in front of him is making him....what? angry? sad? afraid? he can't describe it. all he knows is that he hates it.

riddle's hands made their way to your face. he wiped your tears using his hands. he cupped your cheeks and caresses them gently to comfort you.

"my rose" riddle called, making you look at his eyes. and there you saw his true feelings. pain. sadness.

at the end of the day, riddle still wishes for your happiness no matter what choice you made. even if it meant leaving and never seeing him again. it hurts. it hurts so bad but what could he do? stop you? beg you to not leave? nah. he's not that selfish. you deserve to reunite with your loved ones. your parents, your friends, your classmates.

"wherever you are, you will always be in my heart. be safe, my rose. each day without seeing your face will be painful to bear, but always remember that i will replace you with no one" riddle said, picking a rose from the garden and giving it to you. "you're the only one i love. and that's my vow" riddle placed a soft kiss on your forehead, an indication of his love, care, and fondness towards you.

you hugged him tightly. "i won't replace you either." you whispered.

[crystalninjaphoenix]

A Stranger of Yourself

Switch AU

A JSE Fanfic

A shorter chapter this week, and posted one day early so it won't conflict with the special October event I'm starting tomorrow (hope to see you guys there for that by the way! ^w^). I'll keep the summary short too. Schneep contacts the others and says he has stuff he wants to tell them about. After everyone meets up, he returns to his room and finds an unexpected visitor there. Hmmm...

More of This AU | | First Chapter | Previous Chapter

Breakfast in the house was silent. Marvin and JJ ate quietly, both of them still thinking about what happened at the hospital yesterday. The only sound was Mr. Fluffington occasionally meowing for attention. That was, until Marvin’s phone started ringing. “Ah, damn it,” he muttered, taking it out of his pocket. “Who could be callin’ at—oh.”

JJ put his cereal spoon down. Who is it?

“It’s Henrik.” Marvin hesitated. “Do I... pick it up?”

Of course you do! JJ said. We’ve been waiting for a call from him!

“I know, but—ah, I don’ know what I’m sayin’,” Marvin answered the call right before it went to voicemail. “Hey, Henrik. You’re on speakerphone so Jems can hear you. Is... is everyt’ing alrigh’?”

“More or less.” Schneep’s voice was quiet. “Ah, Jack called me yesterday. He told me what happened at the hospital.”

“...ah.” Marvin looked at JJ, whose expression was grim. “Yes. T’at. It was... a bit upsetting.”

“Upsetting?” Schneep asked. “But did you not figure out how we might—might revive Anti?”

“Don’ use t’at word, it sounds like he’s dead,” Marvin muttered. “But if you’re referring to how Distorter was distracted, yes, t’ere was t’at, but... ah... I-I wasn’ in the room, but Jems’ says Will’s reaction was... a lot.” JJ nodded silently.

“Oh. O-of course. Yes, that would be... emotional.” Schneep cleared his throat. “But, ah, I-I think we should try a meeting again. So we can discuss information.”

“Really?” Marvin noticed JJ lean forward, closer to the phone. “Do you want it to be jus’ me and Jems, or everyone?”

“Everyone who can come. E-everyone who is involved now. We can do it at the same park where we tried last time. What time would work?”

Marvin looked at JJ. “Do you have any plans for the next couple days?”

JJ shook his head. I’m in between shows. Some of my people are actually asking when we can start up again but I can’t right now. Not with everything.

“T’at’s understandable. I don’ t’ink Jack has anything, so we jus’ need to ask Rama and Stacy.”

Rama will have to get a babysitter so it’ll be up to them.

“Hmm. True. Volt, we’re goin’ t’call everyone and get things in order. T’en we’ll call you back with the time, okay?”

A moment passed in silence. “Yes,” Schneep said quietly. “Yes, but... but please try to get a solid time soon. I-I don’t want to... start being worried.” Before he could explain that, he hung up.

“Start bein’ worried?” Marvin repeated, confused.

He’s probably nervous to be calling a meeting, JJ guessed. After all, the last one left us with a lot of questions. He rolled his shoulder—the one that Schneep had shocked with his bare hands just a couple days ago.

“T’at’s probably my fault,” Marvin mumbled. “I was too eager to try out the invisibility. M-maybe I shoul’ leave the cards at home altogether.”

JJ shook his head. You don’t seem too happy about that idea, he said, a small, amused smile on his face.

“I’m not. I—T’is probably makes no sense, but I don’ want t’lose them again.” Even now, his hand drifted down to his pocket where he kept the deck of cards.

No, that makes perfect sense. And if you’re not happy about leaving them at home, there’s no reason you should do that. The smile faded from JJ’s face. And if something happens, it’s always good to have more magick on our side.

“Right.” Marvin nodded. He took a deep breath. “Well. Looks like we can’ finish breakfast yet. We have calls to make and messages to send.”

———————

Coordinating proved harder than expected, but eventually they decided on that evening as the best time. Five o’clock, about an hour before sunset so that there would still be plenty of daylight in the park. Everyone could make it except for Stacy, who said she had to buckle down and get some work done. “I do have to pay rent on this place somehow,” she pointed out. “Tell me everything afterwards.”

JJ and Marvin arrived a bit early, but they waited in the car until Rama and Jack showed up as well. Then they all went down to the lake, by that same bench they met at last time.

Schneep was already there. He sat on the bench, hands tightly clasped together, wearing that same black mask that hid the bottom half of his face. He tensed up the moment he saw the group coming, then started to stand but decided not to. Instead, he just waited for the others to all gather around the bench.

“Henrik,” Marvin said, nodding. “I-I’m really truly sorry abou’ the invisibility las’ time. I-I was tryin’ to not freak you out, I-I didn’—”

“I understand, Marvin,” Schneep said quietly. “It’s not a problem. Really.”

“Do you mind if we sit, Schneep?” Rama asked.

“A-ah... no,” Schneep said hesitantly.

“Well, you’re clearly not comfortable, so we’re okay standing,” Jack said. He looked at the other three. “Right?”

Right, JJ confirmed. Why’d you call this meeting, Schneep? Did you want to finish what we started last time, or is there something else?

“There is... both.” Schneep looked down at his clasped hands. He took a deep breath. “I owe you all... an explanation. But I-I am not sure if I can give one. Jameson, I... I am so sorry for the shock.”

JJ nodded. In your own words, I understand. It’s not a problem.

“Hah.” Schneep gave a little chuckle. 

“You know you don’t have to push yourself,” Jack said gently.

“No, no, you need to know.” Schneep shook his head. “I... Jack called me yesterday. H-he told me about everything that happened at the hospital. I already said this on my phone call this morning, but... he also... told me a theory he had.” He glanced over at Jack, not fully lifting up his head. “About me.”

Jack nodded slowly. “You really don’t have to talk about it. I-I said that when we—”

“You did, you did, and I appreciate that. But you all need to know.” Schneep closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and lifted his head up. “You all know I had some experience with IRIS, yes? In the time since I left?”

“That’s what they said you said,” Rama said, gesturing at JJ and Marvin.

“Yes, it was.” Schneep laughed again. “W-well, I... I did. I did some investigating into their activity in the next city over, and they... caught me. I was not prepared for their security, it is... much more advanced than it should be.” Another deep breath. He clasped his hands tighter. “They... Like Anti, I was... caught. Unlike Anti, I did not get out after three days.”

Silence. Marvin instinctively glanced around the park, making sure no one was listening. No one was. There was a small family passing by, but they were well out of earshot on the other side of the pond.

I think we understand what happened, JJ said.

“No, you really do not,” Schneep said darkly.

“Did they do the same thing to you as they did to Anti?” Rama asked. “Though we do not even know what that is, anyway.”

“I would be surprised if you did. I saw what happened, because I took some of IRIS’s security footage. But I do not think this is the time to show you. Or if you would even want to see. In any case, no, it was not the same thing.” Schneep shook his head. “IRIS did not know I was related to their case on Distorter. I showed no signs of contact with him. He has never been as involved with me as with... others... of our group.”

Marvin nodded. “He only really showed up to fuck with you.”

“Yes, exactly. Unlike Anti, who he was actively involving himself with. I think he may even be why IRIS found Anti—a-anyway, this is not the point.”

“You don’t have to keep going,” Jack said softly.

“I do. You all need to know about... this.” Schneep unclasped his hands. He turned one over, tracing a scar that ran down the length from his pinky to his wrist. “This is why I shocked you, Jameson.”

JJ leaned forward, visibly confused. What happened?

“I... am not sure... of the details,” Schneep said haltingly. “I was... asleep... when it happened. But... somehow, IRIS...” He trailed off.

“They... gave you the ability to shock people,” Rama summed up.

“Yes.” Schneep was relieved that he didn’t have to say it. “A-and that is not all. I am still... I am still learning it all myself.”

“Holy shit,” Marvin whispered. “You’re sayin’ IRIS does... experimentation? T’at’s fucked.”

“It is so fucked!” Schneep’s hands curled into fists.

JJ inhaled sharply. Is that what they were doing to Anti?

“They were getting to it. I think Distorter interfered before they could go through with it.”

Rama shook their head. “That is... that is... E-eso es lo peor que he oído jamás—oh!” They went suddenly pale. “Does Jackie know about this?!”

Marvin’s eyes widened. “Wait, yes, you said t’at Jackie’s on their staff. He has to—”

“No.” Schneep’s voice was firm. “Even though Jackie was desperate to protect us from Distorter, he was not desperate enough to forgo his morals.”

Rama nodded slowly, agreeing. “He would not stand for it. But... how can he be unaware?”

“IRIS has three different sections.” Schneep held up three fingers. “There is one that builds and sells their technology.” One finger went down. “There is one that looks for and captures strange things in the world. Anomalies, they call them. Many are given an ALTR number, though I am still not sure what ALTR is an acronym for.” Another finger down. “The last is their experimentation.” He grabbed the last finger and curled it down. “The other two sections both feed into that one. I am not sure why IRIS is willing to experiment on their... s-subjects...” He paled a little. “But... they are. And they do.”

So you’re saying Jackie can be in one section without knowing about the other two, JJ concluded.

“Exactly. I think he is involved with their technology, from what I found.”

“There’s also probably different clearance levels,” Jack added. “No secret organization is gonna tell the new hires about their secret human experiments.”

“Hold on a moment.” Rama raised a hand. “You said earlier that they did not realize you were involved with Distorter. Something about showing no signs? What about Jackie? If anyone would show signs of contact, it is him.”

Schneep’s silence was telling.

“No.” Marvin gripped the arms of his wheelchair. “No, no, no, we are not goin’ t’et IRIS turn a third one of our friends into a fucking guinea pig!”

“Damn right,” Rama added. “They do not get to touch my husband. We need to get him out of there!”

How?! JJ asked. We were making plans to break into the facility where Anti was, but we never got into it.

“We repurpose those plans, of course!”

Well, the facility might also be hidden from us. Remember what I said? I had to get help from the Magic Circle.

“Can you do that again?” Jack asked.

I... yes, I think so, JJ signed slowly. As in, I think they’d be willing to help again. But I wonder if they are capable of it.

“Jameson,” Schneep said quietly. “If you take the time to ask them, it will give me time to sort through the files I stole from IRIS. I can find out more about the facility where Jackie is stationed. And... maybe... find out their plans for him. If they know about him and Distorter.”

JJ looked at him. His expression hardened as he grit his teeth in determination, and he nodded. I can message them as soon as possible. But I doubt they’ll be able to get anything done today. There are a lot of people that need to work together.

“That is fine. Jackie has been fine this long, I doubt they will move suddenly.”

“Alright, I-I guess we focus on this now, then?” Jack asked. “None of us know what to do about Anti?”

In unison, Schneep, JJ, and Marvin all wince. “We... jus’... don’ know how to proceed,” Marvin said slowly.

I can maybe ask the Circle about that, too, JJ suggested. Perhaps they have some insight on breaking people out of trances.

“Maybe... maybe once we get Jackie back to us, he will have some ideas,” Rama added weakly.

“At least Anti isn’ bein’ hurt,” Marvin whispered. “...physically. And he’s not bein’... moved around...” His words quickly fell quiet. JJ put a hand on his shoulder.

Schneep sighed. “As upsetting as it is, we have to focus, and we are just more capable of getting Jackie back than Anti right now. We should keep an eye out for things that could help Anti, of course. Perhaps if we find something, we can switch. But for now... like I said, we must focus.”

JJ nodded. I suppose we go our separate ways, then. He paused. Schneep... if you ever want to talk about things, we’ll be here for you.

“...thank you,” Schneep whispered. “But not yet. I-I am fine with how things are now. And we... we must focus.”

“If you ever need anything,” Jack said. He didn’t continue. He didn’t need to.

“I will contact you all if I need anything,” Schneep promised, “or if I find something very important about Jackie. And JJ, you will tell everyone what the Magic Circle can do?”

Of course, JJ said.

“Great.”

After a few more pleasantries and farewells, the meeting dispersed.

———————

Schneep returned to the motel room a bit later than he wanted. His usual way of taking random turns to avoid being followed had led him right into the midst of a construction-caused traffic jam. And while he could technically have gone around it, motorcycles were not allowed on sidewalks, or in-between cars. He really didn’t want to attract attention by breaking the law, and so he was stuck. Then he had to make a detour to grab some food for dinner. But now he was... ‘home’ again. He unlocked the door with his key and pushed it open.

There was someone sitting on the bed.

Distorter was here.

Schneep froze, the bag of takeout food falling from his hand. “You—!” he gasped.

Distorter turned to look at him, his neck and head twisting in a strange way. The ever-present grin widened. He raised one blackened hand and waved, giggling.

“What are you doing here?” Schneep’s eyes darted around the room. There were no weapons. But he could figure something out if he really had to. Or he could turn and run. The door was still open, only a few steps behind him.

“I’m just checking in on things.” Distorter stood up casually, walking over to the corner of the room. Schneep’s eyes followed him. “It’s been so long since I’ve heard from you, you know. I thought you died. But I guess I wasn’t so lucky.”

“Y-you never just check in on things.” Schneep slowly stepped further inside. He made sure to leave the door open. If he could make it to the desk, he might be able to grab the lamp on top of it and use it as a blunt object. “What? Are you here to fuck with me some more?”

“Am I even really here in the first place?” Distorter moved across the room, always staying directly across from Schneep.

“No, I will not let you do this to me again.” Schneep bit out the words. “Of course you are here. I can see you, and there is no reason for me to be seeing things not there right now.”

Distorter stopped walking. “You can see me?”

Schneep scoffed. “This is not a very effective trick. I will not doubt my eyes again.”

“...you won’t, huh?” Distorter’s head tilted to the side. “What about your ears?”

“My ears are no different,” Schneep said fiercely. “I will not let you—let you manipulate my senses.” He continued stepping to the side, slowly, trying not to attract attention.

Distorter was silent. He kept staring at Schneep with those black empty eyes.

“What? Nothing to say now?” Schneep taunted. “Were you not prepared for this? A me who refuses to let you use my vulnerability?”

“Shut up.” Distorter walked to the left. Schneep’s eyes followed him. He walked back to the right. Schneep’s eyes followed him. He raised a hand, as if in a greeting.

“What are you doing?” Schneep asked, momentarily distracted from his goal by Distorter’s odd behavior.

“Shut up.” The corner of Distorter’s mouth twitched. He walked forward. Schneep tensed up and took a few steps back. He walked backwards. Schneep relaxed slightly. He got down to the ground, joints cracking as he crouched. Schneep’s head tilted down to look at him. A low growl escaped Distorter’s throat.

Whatever Distorter was doing, it made the hair on the back of Schneep’s neck stand up. He instinctively knew that something was wrong with this whole situation. And Distorter wasn’t happy. Schneep glanced towards the desk. He was so close to it, he just had to reach out—

Distorter leapt forward, impossibly moving across the room in just a second. Schneep gasped and lunged to the side, going for the lamp. He managed to grab it just before Distorter tackled him. Schneep’s head hit the wall behind him in a burst of white light. He went limp but managed to keep hold of the lamp. Distorter pinned him to the ground and wrapped his hands around Schneep’s neck, squeezing tightly. Schneep choked and began flailing, managing to strike Distorter with the lamp. But Distorter didn’t even flinch. He squeezed tighter, and Schneep abandoned the lamp, dropping it to instead claw at Distorter’s fingers.

“How?” Distorter hissed, voice simmering with anger as he leaned closer to Schneep’s face. “How are you seeing me when I don’t want you to?”

Schneep couldn’t answer; there was no air for his voice. But even if he could talk, he wouldn’t know what Distorter meant. He pried at Distorter’s blackened fingers but they were steel cords wrapped around his throat. His chest rose and fell rapidly, gasping for breath.

“Why aren’t you seeing any of the things I want you to see?” Distorter demanded. “You’re supposed to be easy to mess with that way! Why?! What did you do?!”

He didn’t do anything!

But...

Ice cold shock splashed over him. So strong that for a few seconds he forgot to struggle. They didn’t... Did they? But that was the only thing that happened to him since he last saw Distorter...

“Tell me!” Distorter shouted. “Tell me or I swear to god I’ll make you watch your friends die.”

Schneep tried to shake his head, but he didn’t have the strength for that. His vision was starting to waver. Despite Distorter’s demands that he explain everything, he didn’t let up on the pressure to let Schneep explain. He probably wanted him dead more than he wanted to know.

His heart was pounding in his chest. He couldn’t die! Not here, not now, not after everything he’d been through! He grabbed Distorter’s hands. This was probably a long shot, but he didn’t know what else to do. Schneep braced himself, and—

Snap! 

Distorter gasped at the shock. Not in pain—just surprise. His muscles spasmed involuntarily. His hands momentarily squeezed Schneep’s throat tighter before abruptly loosening. Schneep finally managed to push him away, rolling off to the side and gasping, sucking in as much air as his bruised throat could handle.

But it wasn’t over. Distorter lunged for him again, grabbing him by the shoulders. Schneep scrambled across the ground, barely escaping his clutches, his nails scratching his skin right through his clothes. Distorter growled again. As Schneep started to stand, he wrapped his arms around his legs and knocked him back down. Schneep cried out and kicked Distorter directly in the face. Distorter’s head snapped back with a sickening crack! but he didn’t let go. Schneep grabbed Distorter’s arms and shocked him again. Like before, Distorter’s muscles spasmed and loosened enough for Schneep to get away.

Schneep climbed to his feet and ran across the room. There was another lamp in here, this one a floor lamp that would provide a lot more reach. Distorter got to his feet right behind him and dashed after him. Schneep barely got to the lamp in time, grabbing it by the stand and swinging it right into the side of Distorter’s head. Another CRACK! rang through the room as Distorter was knocked over. He tried standing up again but Schneep hit him a second time—with enough force that the lampshade flew off. Then he hit him a third time. The lightbulb burst into shattered glass.

He went in for a fourth strike. Distorter raised his hand and grabbed the lamp by its stand. But there was still enough force in Schneep’s attack to make Distorter’s elbow bend back the other way with a SNAP! Schneep gasped, face going pale. Distorter didn’t so much as grit his teeth in pain. He just glared at Schneep, the malice in those black eyes a total contrast with the smile stuck on his face. He kept glaring, head not moving at all as the rest of his body stood, twisting to keep his head in the same place it was. Until his feet were on the ground but his spine was bent over, his neck bent at an unnatural angle.

Schneep’s face turned green and he felt sick just seeing this sight. His grip on the lamp stand tightened and he yanked it free from Distorter’s grip. Distorter didn’t fight back. He kept glaring—until he stood up abruptly in a single, oddly fluid motion. Then he turned and ran for the motel room door. He stopped in the doorway and looked back at Schneep. Not by turning around, but by bending his head backwards. A bit too far backwards. “You’re going to die someday,” he said. “You’re going to die some day, and then I’ll laugh.” Then he snapped back into place and took off in a dead sprint.

For a second, Schneep just stood there. Then he dropped the lamp and ran towards the doorway. He made it just in time to see Distorter disappear around the corner of a building. A minute passed. He stood there, half-expecting Distorter to reappear out of nowhere. But no. He was gone.

The day was quiet. Or, as quiet as it got in the city. There were still distant noises of cars and such, but Schneep wasn’t really hearing them. He looked down at the ground and saw his bag of takeout was still there where he dropped it. In a daze, he reached down and picked it up. Then he pulled the motel room door closed.

It was empty. The room was empty except for him. He put the takeout bag down on the desk and automatically went about putting the lamps back where they should be. There wasn’t much he could do about the broken light bulb. He pushed all the shards into the corner with his shoe. That was about it.

Suddenly, Schneep burst out laughing. There was something strangely funny about Distorter running away like that. They’d only ever seen him suddenly appear and disappear. But it turns out, this whole time, he was just running around and hiding from their sight! Using freaky mind powers! That—apparently—had no effect on Schneep anymore!

The laughter abruptly transitioned into sobs. He didn’t know that. It was a helpful ability to have—but he didn’t know about it. He didn’t ask for it. “Why?” he cried, clutching his hair. “Why?! Isn’t this my body?! Or is it, anymore?!”

His hand brushed against a spot on the left side of his head where the hair was shorter. A perfect square, in fact. The hair had grown back now, but he still remembered waking up and finding that a section of hair the size of his palm had been shaved away, faint scars around the edge of the shape. That had scared him more than the new scars on his hands, arms, or legs. He begged them—anyone he saw—to tell him what they had done, and yet...

At least he had an answer now. 

Probably. 

He couldn’t be sure.

That thought brought him to his knees. He wanted to scream to the heavens, to shout IRIS’s name for everyone to hear. But he couldn’t have everyone hear that. Because he couldn’t have IRIS find him. He didn’t want to go back.

So he swallowed the scream in his throat and shakily stood up again. He walked back to the desk and sat down, staring blankly at the computer screen before reaching for the takeout bag and opening it up.

Jackie.

Jackie was with IRIS.

He was safe for now, as a member of their staff, but Schneep didn’t know when that would change. He didn’t doubt that it would change. IRIS y would find out about Jackie’s experiences with Distorter sooner or later—if they didn’t know already. Which they probably did. And when IRIS made their move... Schneep wasn’t sure which would be worse. If Jackie went through what he did, or if Jackie went through what Anti did.

They had to move soon. They had to do something. Schneep had to do something.

He wouldn’t let this happen to anyone else.

[aces-solace]

Impartial sins

chapter 5: Emotionless emotions

Warnings: language, short, mentions of past trauma. I think that's it.

Recap: “There are more but those are the most common” Azrial says. “There's also… mm.. nevermind” I say, cutting myself off. “Come on Azrial, I'm tired” I say, pulling his arm towards the door. “Oh, ok! We'll see you guys tomorrow!” He says.

-----------

“Hey Ace, can I take over for a bit?” I ask. I still need to make that pact with Mammon and Ace doesn't know about it yet. Ugh… I'm so dead after this. “Mmm.. yeah sure, just go to bed at a reasonable time, ok?” He says before fading out.

I let out a shaky sigh, sorry Ace.. I go down to the kitchen, thankfully avoiding beel. You can do this, Azrial!

-------------

Ugh….. I feel so bad for keeping this from Ace. I let out a shaky breath as I let my shirt fall down over my stomach. Ace is gonna- huh? Someone calling me? I follow the voice through the halls and come to a staircase.

I sense magic. It's not dangerous but detecting magic. If I go past this point I'll be detected. Not if I teleport! Im met with a person with blue and white hair. “Um..” he stares at me. Maybe I shouldn't have come here…

-------------

Damn it! Not only did I make a pact without Ace's permission but now I have to rescue a human locked in the attic without Ace finding out! I'm definitely screwed! I let out a shaky breath, calm down. Ace keeps secrets all the time!

Not from me but still! This feels so wrong… just save the human and you'll be fine! And make a pact with all the others.. without Ace finding out.. I'm not gonna hear the end of it.. I lay down and try to take my mind off of it.

Key word being try…

-------------

Ace POV

the fuck did Azrial do last night? Why is he so tired? Now I have to be out. Plus my stomach feel weird. I walk over to my mirror and lift up my shirt… I'm gonna kill him…

The gold outline makes it clear who he made a pact with. I walk down stairs and open the door, “Mammon. Explain this on Azrials behalf” I say, venom flooding in my tone. He yelps, “w-what do ya mean?” He asks.

“Azrial said you agreed t’ it!” He says “just ask Levi!” Levi nods, “he did! Honestly!” I sigh. I'm definitely gonna kill him… “is Satan on a rampage again?” Lucifer asks. This fucking-... I can't right now.. I turn around and stare at the three behind me.

“Ace? What's going on?” Diavolo asks “Azrial lied and said Ace was ok with a pact when he wasn't so Ace is mad!” Levi says, surprisingly coherent. “I'm going to school early” I mumble and walk towards them.

“Can you move?” I ask, staring up at barbatos. “Of course-” I ignore him and move as soon as he does, last thing I need is a pointless conversation, and with him of all people. I let out a sigh as I realize they are following me.

I don't stop though, I never stop for anyone and I won't now, not ever again. I let out a sigh as barbatos puts his hand on my shoulder to stop me. Honestly, they are just as annoying as humans. Can't believe Azrial left me with them.

“take your hand off of me” I say, turning around to face him. He complies “would you like to join us at the castle later today?” Diavolo asks. How can he act like that? The small amount of emotions I do feel are Azrials emotions.

And from what I feel, they are draining as hell. “No, I'm not much of a tea drinker plus, if you hadn't noticed, I hate this situation as is, last thing I need is something to make me hate it more” I say. The brothers are draining as is.

Plus I can already hear Lucifer bitching. Barbatos smiles, “Azrial said cooking and baking make you feel the closest to happiness, is that true” I hum. Bit of an overstatement, “eh, yeah sure” diavolo beams. He reminds me of Azrial…

“He also said you good at it, why not join barbatos and cook with him?” He says. I glance at barbatos, “maybe” I say, although that maybe is awfully close to a no, it's something to get them off my ass. I should've got high when I had the chance…

“Is that a yes!?” Diavolo says, if he keeps this up it might turn back into a hard no… “it's a maybe, depends on how annoying the brothers are today” I say, turning around and walking away. I can hear Lucifer bitching already.

If I told him I was going that is… screw it, I'll go. To avoid Lucifer bitch about how ‘disrespectful’ I was this morning. Just get through school.

--------------

Diavolo and Barbatos practically corner me as soon as I leave class, “well?” Diavolo asks. He's practically shaking, does he need my approval this much? Probably not but still. I sigh, “sure” diavolo beams, more than he was before. If that's possible.

“Something tells me I'm going to regret this…” I say, “that something is wrong!” Diavolo says as he practically drags me away. What did I get myself into? I stare at diavolos smiling face and let a small smile make it's way to my face.

Maybe, just maybe, that something is wrong… Wait, the fuck am I saying? Ugh, Azrial and his unconscious emotions… I quickly shove those emotions away and go back to my frown. Remember why your here Ace.

----------------

I hum as I lay down on my bed, I still got an earful from Lucifer but it was worth it. The time with barbatos and diavolo was… fun.. I push those emotions away quickly. Remember why your like this in the first place.

“Um…Ace?” Azrial says. “Oh, so now you wake up?” I mumble. “I'm sorry! I know I should've told you about the pact-” I cut him off “I don't care about the pact, what I care about is the fact you're emotions work even if your unconscious” I huff.

“Ace.. no they don't. And if anything the only emotion that should work is nervousness” he says. “I felt.. happiness?” I say, though it sounds more like a question. “Ace.. that was you, your emotions. You felt your own emotions” he says.

…Shit. “Come on Ace, will showing emotions be that bad? I know it'll feel weird after all this time but I'll walk you through it!” Azrial says with a smile. He might be right. It's been years so maybe it's time to try again..

No, they are demons, if I'm gonna try again with anyone let it be one of the angels or a human. Maybe even Solomon. Not the demons though. “no.. I'll be fine blocking it out for another year or so” I say quietly.

I yawn and lay down, “your covering for me tomorrow” I mumble into my pillow. He sighs and nods, “just know you can't run from your emotions forever” I hear him say before I drift out of consciousness.

Fun fact!: Azrial is an amazing liar despite the fact that he hates lying.

Taglist:

@cuddlybelphie @doomsday-fae @a-crazy-little-goblin

@completelyshatteredbrokenmschf

[paleparearchive]

A Miraculous Birthday with Aniki

Monet's Birthday 4★ story (3/3) ( 1 - 2 - 3 )

Location: atelier 2 (night) | Characters: Monet, Renoir, Sisley, Bazille, Manet

Sisley: Monet! Happy birthday!

Monet: Woaah!? That scared me!

Renoir: Didn't you expect this was going to happen when you arrived at the party?

Bazille: Since we're talking about Monet, he didn't think anything about it at all.

Monet: Hahaha, Bazille exposed me. Thanks for celebratin' me this morning and at night too! I'm soooo happy!

Bazille: … I guess you don't have any congratulatory gifts, then.

Monet: Ah, that thing? I quit that, I'm givin' it back. I'm still a lil' unsettled, but when you're bein' celebrated, ya should accept it with open arms–

Bazille: Manet-san told you that, right?

Monet: Huh, how do you know…?

Bazille: I talked to him about it. About your situation.

Monet: You did…? But why Manet-san?

Bazille: You're the type of person who won't listen to me when I tell you that you don't have to pay anyone back. So I reached out to someone who you would've definitely listened to in order to tell you what you didn't want to hear.

Monet: I-I see…! Aaah, so that's why Manet-san knew ‘bout my problem. So it's no coincidence he came to the terrace…

Bazille: Well, it wasn't a bad idea in the end. I'm glad Manet-san changed your mind.

… Maybe that's how much he cared about your birthday.

Monet: M-Manet-anikiii…!!

Sisley: I wonder if there's something so special about Manet-san turning his attention to you on your birthday.

Renoir: If I had to sum it up in one word, it would be a "miracle", don't you think?

Bazille: You're actually right.

Monet: Sob… Sob… I'll follow Aniki for the rest of my life…

Manet: It looks like you've learned your lesson.

Monet: Aniki!

Manet: You don't have to think about what you're going to do, just accept it. Don't make the same mistake twice.

Monet: Yeah!

Manet: Keep up the good work.

Monet: …! Aniki, are these art supplies a gift…?

Manet: Your landscape paintings are not bad. Show me a work of art with these materials that will impress me.

Monet: A-Aniki…! I'll do it! I'll definitely, definitely paint a picture that'll impress ya! Aaaaaaaah, I can't do this! I gotta go paint it now!

Sisley: Uh, ah, w-wait!

Renoir: Sigh, he's already gone.

Bazille: This is no time to stay still. Let's go after him!

Hey! Monet!

Monet: Yeaaah, time to paaaint!

Sisley: It's late and the party is already underway. Come on, calm down.

Monet: But Aniki gave me art materials!? I got no choice but to paint, ya know!?

Bazille: So do it tomorrow!

Monet: Nobody can stop me now!

Bazille: I said stop, idiot!

Sisley: Please stop, Monet…!

Renoir: Wouldn't it be better if we asked Manet-san to stop this again?

Bazille: Wouldn't it be even worse if Manet showed up under these circumstances…?

Monet: Heck yeaaaah! Just you wait, Manet-aniki! I'll definitely impress yaaa!

[misfitclassismyfreetherapy]

Lied-kun's Sleepover.

.

.

~

LIED POV

I packed up all the stuff needed for the sleepover. I'm excited and nervous and the same time. I organized my Gyari collection in my bag and bought my toothbrush and toothpaste. I feel really honored that Iruma wanted me to sleepover. As I fold my PJs I thought about our conversation.

All though what does he wants to talk about?..

~Flashback~

I love Iruma I truly do (as a friend/brother in arms) but this is getting worrying. He hasn't replied in 30 minutes. I was annoyed at first, but I knew that Iruma isn't the type to leave me on read.

Ever since I sent him the picture, he hasn't respond. Maybe he went to the bathroo-

GYARI,GYARI,GYARI! ( his ringtone )

All of the sudden, my thoughts were interrupted by a phone call. It was from Iruma. I sigh from relief. I picked up the call.

"Hey Lied-kun! Sorry for the delay.." He sounded kind of..hoarse? I didn't think much of it. What he said next was more interesting.

"Hey..Lied-kun can you come over? I kinda want to know more of Akudols.. what if you sleepover the nigh-" I choked. Shit. Now we're having  ✨The Awkward Silence Show ✨. Great job me. As I continue to drag myself to hell, Iruma interrupted.

"You know what- you probably don't want to come over anyways, I mean I was already being rude in the first plac-" O' hell no, he ain't gonna talk shit about himself in front of me. " Iruma it's fine, I was more worried than annoyed. Plus I would love to come to your house."

I gulped and pause for a bit then continued " The only person your being rude to is yourself." Silence. That's all I heard until Iruma replied. "Oh, ok! Then 8 PM is okay? Tonight? I'll send you the location!" his voice sounded excited like a little kid. I chuckled. "Sure.."

Iruma sighed. What is he..? " I needed to talk to you tonight. So thanks. I'm only gonna say this once..." I can hear him sigh and continued.

" Arigato, Onii-chan." Then he hung up

It took a moment to process the information. When I finally got what he meant, I literally and internally screamed.

"YOU CAN'T JUST HANG UP LIKE THAT! WHAT THE DELKIRA SH-"

"Urusai Lied!" Shit. I forgot Nee-chan is still here. It's already 6:55 PM. I better start packing.

~Flashback ended~

I dozed off too long. I looked my clock and it was already 7:45 PM. SHIT SHIT SHIT WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO!? OH RIGHT NEE-CHAN! I shoved all my stuff in my bag and screamed "NEEE-CHAAAAN!" Boy, Nee-chan was not happy.

"WHAT!?" her voice was like a beast awoken from their slumber. I remember about the negotiation, oh my devi I never thought I would do this. " Hey Nee-chan remember when you always wanted to test your driving ever since you've brag about your driver's license?"

She quit her terrifying face and soften her gaze. "I'm listening..." She always wanted to drive ever since she got her driver's license but she's a terrible driver. "I'm giving you a chance if you drive me to this location before it hits 8 PM!" I showed her the location of Iruma-kun's house."

"Okay fine.. but I won't go easy on you.." she smirked as she picked on the apartment keys and open the door. I shivered. Oh Delkira-sama, save me.

TIMESKIP

"I'm gonna puke." I shouldn't have done this. How the devi did she get her driver's license. "Well, we arrived here in time,didn't we?" She directed her eyes on her watch. 7: 58 PM. I rolled my eyes as I got out of the car. "See you tomorrow, Nee-chan." I said as I slammed the car door. I looked up on Iruma-kun house. It's not really a house..it's basically a mansion.

I got startled by Opera-sensei as soon as I looked back down. " Welcome. Lied-kun." I was still shocked from how fast they got here. "A-arigato, O-Opera-sensei." They took my bag from my hand. " You don't have to call me sensei, just call me Opera-san when we're not at Babyls.

I looked around Iruma's house as we walked, it's not that I've never been here before but the view is quite beautiful at night here. Damn, Iruma-kun is so lucky to have such nice parents.. while my parents....

My thoughts were interrupted by a singing voice, Both of Opera san's ear went up. " Iruma-sama?.."

"♫ I could be, I could be your boyfriend ♫"

(This is a song he's singing, it's from his favourite Akudol, (in this fanfic series not irl) plus this song is sang by his voice actor so..)

Me and Opera-san slowly peaked inside.

*(I suck at side drawing)

"♫ Otoko to shite mi rarete inakute mo. ♫"

Translation: Even if you don't see me as a man

He sang the song peacefully while wearing his headphones. Wait.. I have heard this song before.. wait that new Akudol... He's been saying he wants to talk to me about it..

I looked over at Opera-san and got startled again when they were suddenly holding a recording device. How did they-? I didn't have time to think about it when Iruma suddenly noticed us.

"Oh Lied-kun, Opera san?"

.

.

~

ENDING

I thought it would be nice if he would decide to sing while waiting for Lied to come and of course Opera being the 2nd most doting parent to Iruma would record the whole thing. And more Lied and Iruma frienship because it's underrated af. Hope you enjoy my continuation.

.

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~

Claire has logged off

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary15

9/19-20/2023

less exhausted now than yesterday.

i got 5 songs re-mixed today, which puts me at 13/25 (yes there are songs i forgot i had to work on and there's one i added that's out already but i should redo it for like, bandcamp and spotify/whatever (and there's some i'm still not counting because they're pretty simple and honestly i feel like they won't be too difficult)).

today i did get really happy doing all of this at least, i had a breakthrough w/ the guitar processing stuff that's at least gonna help a lot on some of these songs/tones, where i use something that simulates a lossy mp3 and stick it early in the chain, parallel with something, and then use the chime-y sound that it creates, essentially a warbly reactive bandpass with some random elements, and it helps add a sense of real guitar, it also helps un-deaden and de-cotton-ball some of the sounds, but i think i can work on that still. there's an answer somewhere to that problem.

maybe i can go do that now, who knows. i've got some loose time i guess but i should actually let myself relax, all the best ideas come to me when i'm not overworking myself. i think partially the problem is the sound loses a lot of dynamics/transients which would give it more textural shape.

it's also just the nature of distortion. stacking so much makes the sound, i dunno, rounder, or not round, it's sharp, but it's kind of like razor thin in ways. i like the razor part, and i like thin, but i want it to be a little more present, i think that means needing some more low end, it could be a situation where there's two channels, one maintaining the lower end.

also what the hell is up with impulse response cabinet things and them sounding so freaking, i dunno, weak.

whatever. but this is all my life is right now. kinda. tomorrow i'm going to do errands (woo (actually crying but whatever)) and hopefully i'll get to do some of the short songs before i am whisked away.

oh my god i can get post-grunge impulse responses. honestly i could on a lark but honestly no thanks i don't need to fool around with an impulse response based on the guitar cabs the guy from hoobastank uses. what is the point.

there's people who would see that and say they're going to make the most fucked up music ever using that, like a dare, i'm going to be brave and say that i am too good for that. even if i'm stupid and cleaning up a 25 song (+ more) mess. maybe i sound like i hate fun but i just hate what some people treat as fun, or i don't hate it. i just feel bored and frustrated by it cuz it's like, i'm gonna handle trash and act above it and also extol it because x y or z and it's a lame impulse and also i guess gently tied to some weird revivalist bent people can take up.

sorry for bitching and moaning about something that's essentially really specific and dumb.

listening to other fucked up guitar music makes me feel good about where my stuff is at, it's like i can figure out some tiny things and get it where it needs to be. i think as it stands the biggest issue could really be the bass sounds, they still come out a bit loud, which is an easy thing to fix, i just wonder if lowering the db is actually what i should do, but what else, who knows.

vocals also are a bit tough but they always are, you just find where they sit and stick them there, is how i feel about it.

who knows how much longer this whole mixing talk is gonna go on for. it could be my life forever. i don't want it to be, i want to write again soon but my mind is wholly on this, on the communion w/ soundwaves through abstract graphical and numerical means. an extremely material circumstance i think.

i got distracted from my #superimportant diary by a conversation with a friend, it's veered into a discussion of when we've felt insulted by artists people compare us to. the two of us have been burroughs'd by people, and not to say he's a bad writer or anything, but it's not what either of us are going for, and it's interesting how people can be really appreciative of what you're doing or something and vocalize that, and you can sit there and feel, in the wake of someone being really nice to you, and honest with you, and a lot of things i feel like i should appreciate, i am left incapable because of a bad taste. this isn't what happens even most of the time with comparisons, especially with my music. it's always nice to hear what people think. often they feel kind of left field, but good, or they're so left field it's like, i'm glad you got that out of it, but something about how people do it with writing in particular, there's a level of people treating your voice like it's a party trick and a condescension i guess.

it's also such an asshole thing to complain about someone being nice to you, but at the end of everything, it's just whatever, it's a thing. i think i'm allowed to ruminate when it's something that's a strange feature of my life. it's an ugly kind of rock formation i see that isn't a terrible eyesore but it's strange the earth's mantle and crust and everything conspired towards that, and the strangeness not so great and not especially meaningful, you are just put before it and nod at it and think about it later, i guess.

i shouldn't have to justify everything about my life or inside my head but i do i guess cuz i'm cuhrayzzzzeeeeeeee.

when i type like that i feel like i'm actually getting myself across, not in a way where like, i know someone understands, it's just letting something deeper inside out. it's how i actually feel and i guess no one could understand why it makes me feel, i dunno, whatever cluster of things it makes me feel.

i just remembered ryuichi sakamoto's passing, and almost cried, might cry, kidn of crying, crying.

not much to say about it, just a real tragedy, a real legend and genius. i love him a lot.

it's a bad idea to listen to forbidden colors, but i will.

what a perfect articulation of something, that song. i don't know why sakamoto is one of the musician deaths that makes me the saddest, i really do cry over him more than any other, it's not new at all really, it's not fresh anymore and it still gets to me, and he was old, it wasn't shocking really. but i guess we all knew it was coming, those who keep up at least saw the stuff about his cancer. i think it's because his music and how he wrote music represents something fairly singular to me. it's hard to get me to sit and listen to anything classical adjacent, him doing solo piano stuff a lot makes that easier, since i love that anyways, but his particular interpretations of older kinds of music are just really moving. you can sense his entanglement with that music and the will to move past it, the recognition of others, through time.

now i'm thinking about house music. good house music always makes me really melancholy, even if the song is happy, endlessly joyless, really it's the joy that makes me sad, it makes the gulf apparent, i am here and now, and all the parties these old songs were made to keep going and start and end, never even expected me to be there. meaner kinds of dance music are what i end up making, because of that emotional reality. i guess it's not that house is uncomplicatedly happy or something either, dj sprinkles talks about that on an album. it's also where a lot of queer people collected themselves, and partied, but not really escaping a miserable material reality, things like that. the sense of loss and distance and alienation is greater now. only for a night, and in the night, do you and your body join, a question is asked, how long can the night go on for, and a journey starts there, and what are all the ways we can modulate time, and so on, not to escape, but to be embodied, to exit the escpaism that surrounds us at all times (something something the spectacle (which on some level includes dance music, especially now.))

us being general and not localized to queerness, only to the downtrodden, of which there are many.

this is a lame pick, but for these particular emotional reasons/resonances, the song i'm your brother by round one (basic channel basically) is one of the best house songs, it feels like it's speaking to that exactly.

and i guess i'll end this entry with a link to another dance song, colder, not house, but it's a song that perfectly captures how it feels to walk home from work at night, not liberated but feeling liberation on your tongue and that denial, the slim hours you have to live your life, all our desperate existences, and stuff.

byebye !!!!

[kazuyummy]

hiiii ani! hope yer doin good and feelin hot n pretty 😌 may I ask for an aot matchup? 🤍 please take yer time, love!

1. resilient

2. I asked me friends n dey literally said “trustworthy or precious😌” ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ 🤍🤍

3. interesting

4. unapproachable

a soooooong hm…. angels fall by breaking benjamin

I prefer a matchup with a male character n I like angst n romance

🍊 - idk, ye can choose but pls no smut or smth

- 🛖 (anon emoji)

HIIIIII MY DEAR i'm so happy that i finally got to your matchup hehehe! appreciate your patience so much 💕

i would match you up with JEAN KIRSTEIN. it's funny bc i self-ship w him and i think we're quite different BUT i think he'd really love your personality. i don't think he'd be off-put by you being unapproachable - and he would certainly admire your resiliency. however, what i think he'd like most is getting to know your sweet and thoughtful personality under all that. he's canonically good at drawing and i get a feeling that you'd be able to connect through his art (or his yummy cooking 'cause he's good at that too haha) and he'd really want to spoil you. i think he really values people who don't give up, as it's something he struggles with as well in the series. i can see you being a pair full of respect and admiration for each other, and enjoying each others' interests.

aot manga spoilers under the cut (as well as an angst / romance drabble) !

❀ THE NIGHT BEFORE

leaning on the rail of the ship, all you can see is starlight - a beautiful, fleeting distraction before the battle to come

you're interrupted by the sound of footsteps - one that you can recognize by their cadence alone

you don't even bother looking back when jean joins you looking out onto the horizon, the only sound you hear being the waves lapping against the ship

"nervous?" jean asks, and after a pause, "about tomorrow?"

you snort, not bothering to justify that with an answer. of course you're nervous, on top of a whole array of other emotions. if you start talking about them, they threaten to spill from your chest

"so? is it a bad time to tell you that i'm in love with you?"

now that has your head whirling at him

he remains staring wistfully ahead, and you swallow to regain your composure,

"... probably the worst time."

he laughs with a light shake of his shoulders, as if he expected that response,

"well? would there be a better time?"

a grin breaks onto your face,

"hm. not at all, i suppose."

with that, the tension dissipates, and the next twenty-eight minutes are probably the only truly peaceful minutes you've had in months - worries floating free as birds away as you laugh with jean, recalling fond memories, your mind wandering away from the impending battle tomorrow, as if it were never to happen

and suddenly he asks,

"is it a bad time to kiss you?"

your smile is yearning when you reply,

"... the worst."

"should i do it anyway?"

"of course, jean."

your kiss with him is filled with raw emotion - elation, that your feelings are returned and he's with you in this moment; dread, at the thought of the coming war; anger, that he hadn't told you any of this before when you could've run away and had a peaceful life with him; and something else dull and aching that you can't quite place. you pull back for a second,

"if i die tomorrow, d'you promise to move on?"

"the hell did that come from? of course you won't die tomorrow. neither will i."

he chuckles lightly, but his face is filled with concern,

move on, he scoffs to himself, as if i ever could

you shrug contentedly, throwing away the rest of your worries and fall into his embrace, kisses deep and longing

"i'm in love with you too, jean. as in... i love you"

and with that, you've completely and utterly melted his heart

but maybe - just maybe! he would, only because he'd do whatever you asked him to

and he swears he would've, had he not been the one to kill you on impact when he transformed into a titan

aaaaAAAHHHhh so idk i had this scene playing in my mind which is obv canon-divergent and i'm still not good at writing angst buuuut... every try means eventual improvement, right? anyway ily and hope you enjoyed, thanks so much for your patience 💓

read completed matchup here 💫

[dawnthefluffyduck]

IT'S DONE

THE DUCKS

Critique is tomorrow but I got this thing done at like, 3AM today and everything's all dry now and I'm so happy to finally be making this post so I'm putting it up earlier than I normally do 😭😭

Assignment details below but warning, it's like an adventure log cause holy crap I have so much to say about this

The assignment was to make a structure that:

Had a mechanical function (minimum two)

Included at least one found object (i.e., something that was not provided by the instructor)

Included at least one carved element

...so there was a lot going on for this. I've never carved before, hence why I panick made those ducks a few weeks ago. They were a failsafe, juuuust in case I couldn't figure out the whole "carve a bird" thing in time. Luckily they weren't needed, though if I wasn't in such a hurry I might not have gotten this weird looking cut on my finger that likely won't fully heal :') (battle scars, so it's okay)

They really did take a long time to carve though. For frame of reference, it took about:

~6 hours of listening to people play Phasmophobia for ducky #1

Another 5-6 of listening to Majora's Mask gameplay for ducky #2

About 3-4 hours of various My House videos for the smallest ducky #3 (thanks again for the recommendation 🙏 I was running out of things to fill the silence to)

I'm glad I started them as early as I could, especially with the breaks needed to let my fingers heal because I'm bad w/ knives.

I speed learned how use a sewing machine (thanks mom for letting me borrow it); I didn't have to make the outfits but they're cute so I don't regret it lol. I put elastic or snaps on all of them so they're all removable... maybe I'll make more outfits for them in the future?

I counted my found object as some plexiglass I picked up somewhere, and it turns out, it's not really hard to cut it. Apparently it's not hard to cut real glass either but I wasn't allowed to use it 'cause it's easier to break. I kinda like the window, I wasn't sure about how it'd look at first but I really think it makes it look more polished :D

The red handle was a last minute addition. I quite literally used a spare piece of wood at 1AM this morning and speed carved+painted it. Since it didn't have any major grooves like the ducks, I could saw it down close to the size it needed to be and then carve/sand off the edges to round it off, so I got it done in about an hour and a half. I'm glad I did because I accidently painted the frame a little took dark and needed something to help tie it in a little better. It's still dark, but it sticks out slightly less now??? I hope haha.

I had a lot less trouble using the power tools on campus this time around. That's not saying much because I never really had much trouble in the first place but still, they're nowhere nearly as intimidating as they look.

All in all it was a lot of fun, and I can't wait 'til it's graded cause I'm really excited to bring it home for good :D