#like i’m reading and i see MY OWN POST IN THEIR RBS

[satoruzlove]

I WAS STALKING ONE OF MY FAV WRITER’S BLOGS N I REALISED THEYRE FOLLOWING ME GET OFF MY LAWN RUGHT NOW IS THIS WHAT BEINF IN A COMMUNITY IS LIKE

[vettelsvee]

GOODBYES ARE BITTERSWEET | Sebastian Vettel ✩₊˚.⋆ PART 1: I'LL SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN [NEXT PART]

goodbyes are bittersweet masterlist f1 masterlist | ao3 | requests or let's talk!

rb sebastian vettel x gf!reader

word count: 4095

summary: seb's gf finds out she's pregnant, and she decides that hiding her pregnancy is the best she could do due to seb's career

warnings: pregnancy, mentions of cheating, curse words, angst, fighting. set on may 2013. for a bit of background: reader and seb have been friends since they were literal babies, but growing up their feelings changed and started dating on 2006.

a/n: this is actually the first chapter of the very first series, Infinity, i posted here! i had to cancel it because i had some problems with wattpad people telling me through indirects i copied their work and i got very, very unmotivated with this story i absolutely love (when actually this was a draft I had of a tom holland fic back in 2017 lol), but i'd love to post the following parts if you like this one! feedback is appreciated, as well as reblogs <3

© VETTELSVEE (2024). please, do not steal, copy or translate my works. thanks for reading!

You pulled the flush and got up, being careful not to get dizzy. You took some paper and wiped the corners of your mouth to remove any possible traces of vomit. You headed to the sink automatically, quickly pulling out the toothbrush you’ve gotten used to carrying since nausea became part of your daily routine. You really tried to get rid of the acidity in your throat and the bad taste in your mouth, but as you expected, and knowing you've been experiencing this more times than you'd like in the past month and a half, it was impossible.

"Y/N, are you still there? Are you okay?" Britta's voice, accompanied by a few knocks on the door, snapped you out of your trance. You startled and forced yourself to answer, even though it was the last thing you feel like doing.

"Yes, I’m coming. Just a sec!"

"Don’t take too long," she replied. "Not that I don’t want you to take your time, but Seb is worried."

Panic-stricken, you suppressed a laugh that almost escaped.

If only he knew what you were about to do…

"Don’t worry, I’ll be right out," you answered.

You stared at yourself in the mirror, contemplating your own reflection longer than you’d like. Minutes passed, and you almost completely lost track of time, aware that you needed to put an end to the intrusive thought that was telling you that what you were about to do was, wrong but inevitably the best thing.

You were going to break away from everything you’ve wanted since you were a child just because things hadn't turned out "right." Seb was at the peak of his professional career, constantly surpassing himself in every race, making history, while you remained stuck in your hometown, working at a bar, dealing with drunks and immature kids pretending to be adults daily, because you didn’t have the luck, or perhaps the financial means, to study what you had dreamed of since you were a child who just wanted to make music.

You leaned on the sink, feeling the cold starting to penetrate your body. A great tremor shook you, and it became increasingly difficult to stay on your feet. Your eyes filled with tears as you confronted the reality of what you were about to do, of the decision you'd made.

Since your boyfriend began not only achieving his dreams but making a name for himself, you thought you didn’t deserve him because you were heading in the opposite direction. Now that you’ve gotten pregnant by him, possibly because the birth control pills you were taking failed for some unknown reason, you felt like this even more.

Despite the love you still felt and possibly always will feel for Sebastian, since you took the pregnancy test with Hanna at one of the most secluded malls in Heppenheim, you knew that letting him know he was going to be a father was never part of your plans.

"Come on, Y/N…" you told yourself, still staring at your reflection. "This is for Seb. You're doing this for him and his career."

You took a deep breath a couple more times, feeling the knot in your throat choking you. You looked at the girl full of insecurities you were one more time. Her eyes reflected doubt and, above all, fear, and you sadly sensed that it will continue to be this way from now on.

Trying to control yourself, you slowly opened the bathroom door, as if wanting to torture yourself. Britta was sitting in one of the chairs, reviewing something in a notebook until you closed the door a bit harder than you meant to.

"Are you really okay?" she asked again, giving you an uncertain look. "I've been hearing you vomit for several weeks now. Don’t you think you should go to the doctor?"

The knot in your throat seemed to tighten even more. See a doctor… Of course you’d been to the doctor! Four weeks and, as of today, four days pregnant was the answer, but no one beyond your parents and your best friend could know.

"Yes, I’m fine," you replied quickly, trying to fake your answer as best as you could. "Don’t worry. It’s probably just a bit of stress," you added, praying she believed you. "I haven't had time to see a doctor, but I assure you, with all my heart, that everything is fine."

And that's why you're leaving the love of your life today.

Britta seemed to hesitate for a moment. Her lips remained slightly open, as if she wanted to say something. Her look gave you the feeling that she didn't quite believe what you were saying.

"Whatever you say, Y/N," she finally said, standing up from her seat. "But seriously, if you need to talk or anything, I’m here for you."

"I know."

"Well, seeing that you're as calm as a lake, we’d better hurry up," she told you. "The last free practice session is about to start, and Seb is probably worried why we haven’t come back yet."

You prepared to leave the room with her. You were more than sure to go with her, but as you were almost out the room, you realize it was now or never.

You stopped before going from the driver’s room to the garage, watching Britta hurry down the stairs, probably aware that you were running late even though there were still about forty-five minutes before the session started.

"Wait, Britta. Just a sec!"

You were convinced your shout from the top of the stairs was heard by more people than you’d like. You wished you could turn invisible as you saw some eyes on you, including Britta’s, which made it hard to speak, and not to mention the variety of emotions you were feeling inside you.

You needed to calm down and act a bit better, or everything you’d been mulling over will end up falling apart.

"I’d like to talk to Seb… alone," you finally said.

"Y/N Y/L/N," she said your name much more seriously now. "You’ve told me that everything is fine, but… are you sure it really is? Are you sure nothing’s wrong?"

No, everything is wrong, and yes, more things are happening than I’d like.

You knew you could trust Britta completely. You were sure that if you told her the news before you did to Seb, she wouldn’t say anything, at least not right away. You wanted to do it; in fact, you’d love to do it because she was like a second mother to you, but you knew you couldn't because, once you left, there’s a really high chance she might end up telling him everything in a moment of weakness.

"Yes, yes, I’m fine. It’s nothing serious, don’t worry," you replied with a sigh, trying to console the PR woman and yourself. "I just need to talk to him about… well, a minor issue."

"Of course. Go get him, I’ll wait here. He’s probably talking to Rocky or Horner about who knows what. He hasn’t gone far, especially considering how eager he was to see you."

"Can you get him for me?" you let it out casually.

You ignored her last comment because now, your nerves were eating you alive. Britta seemed to notice your anxiety, so you were grateful she ignored it and acted as if nothing is wrong.

You sighed in relief when you saw her nod, and you couldn't stop thanking her out loud for what she just did for you.

"Lie down on the physio’s couch and try to rest a bit, you look a bit pale," she insisted. Reluctantly, and after repeating it a couple more times, you finally listened to her. "Seb will be here soon. You know he’ll drop everything when it comes to you."

And it was true. Once she left, you remained lying down, drawing small shapes on your stomach with your index finger. As you whispered things to what would supposedly be your child, a whirlwind of varied thoughts flooded your mind.

A small pressure settled in your chest as you became aware that the idea of breaking up with Sebastian was becoming a reality. You didn't want to face it and largely refused to, but you knew that for both of you, especially him, it was actually the best.

Hiding the truth from the guy you’d loved longer than you’d like to admit is exactly the opposite of what you should do, but because he was the most important person in your life, and you knew him almost as well as yourself, you knew he'd have time to play moms and dads in real life.

This year, the only thing he should focus on was winning his fourth Formula 1 World Championship, not learning how to change diapers or feed a baby.

Your thoughts vanished when the door opened abruptly, startling you. Seb appeared with his suit hanging at his waist, hair completely tousled, and a face revealing worry matching the situation you haven’t told him about yet.

"Sunshine! Britta told me you’re not well. What happened? Do you want to go to the doctor? I don’t care about missing the free practice: you’re the most important thing."

The German quickly took your cheeks in his hands. You hadn’t even sat up, and he was already trying to warm your face with his palms, moving it from side to side and examining you as if he was a doctor with the solution to your problems.

"I’m fine, love, relax," you said, breaking free from his grip.

"I know you better than I’d like, Y/N. You’re pale," he pointed out. "You rarely get pale. The last time I saw you like this was when the police chased us after they caught you doing an illegal concert in the school square."

Your anxiety grew more at his perception. You couldn't hide the lie you concocted with Hanna for much longer.

"Seb, really, I’m fine," you insisted, swallowing hard as you tried to find the right words.

He didn't seem to agree with your answer once again, and he didn't seem willing to let it go easily.

For a moment, you were tempted to tell him the truth, especially when you noticed his eyes fixed on you, not intending to look away until he found out what you really wanted to say… As if he wants to know that he was going to be a father next January if your gynecologist’s calculations and the latest technology were correct.

You mustered the courage to look him in the eyes. His concern overwhelmed you completely. When he made a move to hug you and you fell into his arms, you knew you couldn't keep dodging the truth.

"Seb…" you started to say, slowly pulling away from him, "the truth is that... well, there's something wrong."

He clenched his jaw and got very serious.

"Tell me, Y/N. Whatever it is, you know you can tell me."

"I know, love. I want to tell you everything, but…" you began calmly, your voice breaking. "This is different, and it’s going to be a bit difficult."

"What do you mean by different and difficult? Y/N, what’s going on?"

Your hands fidgeted nervously as you tried to find the best way to cause him the least harm possible. You noticed that the German's nervous and worried tone had dissipated, and now it was anger that seemed to be consuming him.

"I want to tell you, but I don’t know how to do it without hurting you," you admitted in a whisper.

There it was, you had let it slip.

You didn’t know what else to say, so you decided to wait for Sebastian’s response. Anguish had taken hold of him, and you knew he was waiting for your words as much as you were waiting for his.

His behavior wasn’t helping you; on the contrary, the feeling of guilt was consuming you, as you had foreseen, but there was no turning back now.

It was impossible for you to even think coherently enough to say something that made sense.

You watched as your boyfriend’s gaze turned into pure pain, a pleading search for answers that you didn’t dare to give him.

"Seb…" you spoke again, struggling to maintain your composure and reaching for his hand at the same time. "I need you to listen to me, please."

"I just want you to tell me the truth, Y/N," he called you by your full name. That was the indicator that things weren’t going well and wouldn’t be again. "Whatever it is, I’ll be able to deal with it."

"I don’t want us to be together anymore," you declared. "I’m not in love with you anymore. I haven’t been for about a month or so."

The silence that flooded the room after your false confession was too uncomfortable. His eyes filled with tears; yours did too, but for a different reason than his.

He thought you had stopped loving him when, in fact, you loved him more than ever, especially now.

"Why are you telling me this? Why, Y/N?" he wanted to know. "I thought we were great… I really believed we were better than ever."

"I don’t know, Seb," you murmured between sobs, trying to hide your face so he wouldn’t see how truly affected you were. "There are… there are couples that stop loving each other, and that’s what I think has happened with me. With us."

"What can I do to make you fall in love with me again? I can’t lose you. I can’t lose the sunshine of my life, not when we promised each other a life together."

"You can’t do anything, Seb, and I’m really sorry," you falsely admitted with sadness, trying not to succumb to his desperate plea.

"Sometimes things stop being what they were in the beginning, and, well… ours is no longer what it used to be."

"Of course, it’s not what it used to be! Everything was getting better until you decided to drop this on me, Y/N!" Sebastian yelled at you.

"I was even going to ask you if you wanted us to get…"

"And that’s why I feel it’s better if we move on, but each on our own path!" you interrupted with another shout.

It’s not real, Y/N. Everything you’re saying is a lie.

You inhaled and exhaled more times than you would have liked, but it felt necessary. This charade to try to make Seb’s life a little better was not only costing you your relationship but also your mental health in the long run.

"Is there someone else, Y/N?"

Vettel's voice denoted anger. Rage consumed him at the possibility that there was an answer he didn’t want to hear. His fists, clenched tightly and turning his knuckles white, were proof of it.

"No, not exactly."

And once again, the camouflaged truth.

"What are you saying?" he spat at you, getting closer and closer, consumed by anguish.

"I mean not exactly, but… yes. There is someone else, Seb," you admitted.

The shouts, full of reproaches, insults, and slurs, flooded the room.

You tried to turn a deaf ear. You thought this was all part of a performance and tried to convince yourself that in the future, everything would be fine when you knew it would be the opposite.

"How could you do this to me, Y/N?! How could you cheat on me after almost seven fucking years together?!" Sebastian shouted, taking out his anger on a vase on his desk, throwing it to the ground, spilling the water and the flowers he had given you just a day ago.

"We’ve been through so many things together. We’ve grown up together and fulfilled our dreams together, and now you’re leaving me for some guy you must have slept with on a whim?!"

"Do you think this is easy for me, Sebastian?" you replied, your words true for once. "Stop lying, okay? The only person who has fulfilled their dreams here is you," you said, showing your disagreement on that topic that you knew hurt you and that he had mentioned to hurt you. "While you’ve been living your life as a driver and being the center of attention, I’ve kept working in the same disgusting bar full of creepy old men I’ve been working at since I finished high school," you shouted, furious. You knew this kind of stress wasn’t good for the baby, but right now you didn’t care. "I’ve been saving as much as I could to build a prosperous future even though my salary was a pittance, composing songs and singing them with the hope that they’ll reach someone someday and not be forgotten."

"I’ve told you a million times that you don’t need to work in that fucking bar full of drunk old men who fuck you with their eyes to have a good life," he protested, now much calmer. "With what they pay me we can live comfortably. It's more than enough for both of us."

"I know," you responded calmly, though you were on the verge of an anxiety attack, "but I also know that I can achieve things on my own without anyone’s help."

The blonde let out an ironic laugh. Immediately, he crossed his arms, lifted his head, and looked at you.

"You’ve always been too stubborn, Y/N. Now I see what your future expectations are. After all, I understand: if you never got into the Berlin Art Academy on your own, and you’re still working at the same place after so long…"

You stood still, not knowing what to say or do because you knew exactly what he meant with every word that came out of his mouth. It felt like your feet were cemented to the ground; his words continuously hitting you, wanting to hurt you more and more.

"How dare you to say that to me?"

If you were already shaken and almost broken after this whole conversation, now you were completely sunk. Seeing your reaction, tears streaming down your cheeks non-stop, he seemed to regret it.

Quickly, he approached you, opening his arms intending for you to bury yourself in them. You, as stubborn as he said you were, refused not only the hug but any physical and non-physical contact he wanted to have with you.

"Y/N, I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to say that," yes, that was clear, but it had already been said, and the damage was done. "I was wrong. Please forgive me."

No matter how much he kept talking, trying to apologize and make amends, there was nothing else to do.

Without saying anything else, you began to gather all your belongings from the driver’s room of who could now be considered your ex-boyfriend. You didn’t want to do it; you didn’t want to start the zero-contact phase with the boy you had loved since you were ten years old, the one who had loved you like no one ever had before and like no one ever would.

You were saying goodbye to the father of your child to venture into raising her alone so he could pursue his dream in peace and achieve all the successes he so longed for.

“What are you doing, Y/N?”

“Packing. I’m leaving.”

Your eyes were fixed on the floor, your hands fumbling with the few belongings left to pack in the small backpack you usually took to the paddock. Now, you would have to return to your hotel room and quickly pack everything into the suitcase, rush to the airport, and pray you didn’t miss the flight.

“What do you mean, you’re leaving?” the blonde frowned, incredulous. “It’s Friday, Y/N, we have the whole weekend ahead of us.”

“Well, from now on, you’ll have all the weekends to yourself,” you shook your head, unable to bear his comments trying to make you stay. “From now on, you won’t have me here on weekends, nor in your life. I’m leaving your life, and I’m not coming back,” you repeated, emphasizing the finality of your words.

Vettel was speechless at your declaration. He kept shaking his head, approaching you, trying to take your belongings, but you stopped him.

No matter how much you wanted to, you weren’t going to stay.

“What do you mean by ‘leaving my life and not coming back’?”

“It means I’m going back to Heppenheim, Sebastian,” you turned to him, trying to maintain composure. “I’m going back, you’ll also end up going back even though we live… you live in Switzerland,” you immediately corrected yourself, “but I hope we never see each other again.”

The firmness behind your words scared you. Everything was a lie that, as the conversation progressed, had grown until you doubted what was real and what wasn’t.

“I really hope you achieve everything you are working hard for,” you continued, insisting to yourself not to break down right there. “I hope you win the championship this year and get the four consecutive ones you’ve wanted for. You, more than anyone, deserve all of it, and I know you’re capable of that and much more.”

You said nothing more because you had stopped being strong. You left, without looking back, the room where you had spent much more time than imaginable, and one of the many places that made up the story starring Sebastian Vettel and you.

You carefully descended the stairs. You walked with a false sense of security through the RedBull garage, dodging any questions about why you were crying, where you were going, and if you had argued with the team’s golden boy, including the endless questions from Britta Roeske that you were trying to ignore at all costs.

You felt curious eyes following you wherever you went, but you didn’t care in the slightest. It was all done.

Now, it was just you and the little pea, or whatever size the baby was.

“Y/N, wait!”

Sebastian’s desperate shouts echoed behind you, getting closer.

You stopped dead, clutching the only strap of the backpack hanging over your shoulder. You slowly turned toward the direction the voices seemed to be coming from and saw the driver running to you, almost choking, as he wiped tears from his cheeks and even those still falling from his eyes.

“I love you, Y/N.”

His voice was choked, and his hands acted on their own. Still, it didn’t stop him from taking your face in his hands and pulling you into a kiss that unleashed a whirlwind of emotions, where you tasted each other’s tears as you had done many times in your relationship. Where you silently said millions of I love yous that only you and he knew perfectly.

“Please, don’t go, sunshine,” the German expressed. “Whatever it is, we can work on it, but please, don’t let us end.”

“I love you too, Seb, but there’s someone else.”

You finally confessed… not in the most ideal way, but in the right one, especially considering what your goal was after all this trail of lies.

“There’s a new person in my life, and I’m afraid to say that no matter how much I love you, I love them more than I love you, and I always will,” you continued, knowing that every word you were saying about your baby was true. “I love you, Sebastian Vettel, and I’ll never stop loving you, but that person is my main priority right now.”

“Have you been unfaithful?”

Sometimes silence is worth more than a thousand words. In this case, it was the exact opposite.

You stood in front of him for a few seconds, debating internally whether to answer or leave as calmly as possible, without attracting more attention than you already had. You decided on the latter because you couldn’t speak, and the tears wouldn’t let you see clearly; not to mention your judgment was so clouded that you couldn’t think clearly about the next step to end this nightmare.

You finally directed one last look at Seb; whispered that you loved him and always would, even though it was over between you.

All it took was for you to lower your head, turn around, and continue walking, fighting not to look back, to realize that you had made the biggest mistake of your life and would never, for anything in the world, be able to forgive yourself.

And you knew perfectly well that Seb wouldn’t either.

[squidpedia]

HI I’M PEDIA, MASTERPOST DOWN BELOW BUT HOLD ON REALLY QUICK READ MY FAQ:

Boundaries on reposting, dubbing, and pfp’s?

Please ask for permission in my messages/inbox before reposting my work or dubbing it! PFP’s don’t need permission, just include credit in bio please. Most likely I’ll be ok with it so please don’t be shy! it’s just a boundary I like having respected. Also cmon girl if you make a dub of my work I want to see🥺

Do you like [other show/video/series]?

Maybe! All my my non utdr fanart goes to @squidpedias-fanart so maybe check/ask there?

I sent you an ask a while ago/tagged you in a post but you never responded, did I upset you somehow?

NOOOOOOOOOOOO I’M JUST AWFUL AT RESPONDING TO ASKSSS OR TEND TO MISS A LOT OF NOTIFICATIONS I’M SORRYYYYYY YOUREE FINEEEEEE. ITS YOU AND LIKE 150 OTHER PEOPLE I PROMMY IM JUST TERRIBLE. don’t be afraid to rb it and tag me in the rb again, sorry for that!

I liked this drawing concept you made. Can I make fanart, redraw it in my style, or make something inspired by it?

YEAH!!!! Flattered and happy I inspired you in that way!! Just 1) tag and credit me, because I would be so sad if I didn’t see and would love love love to rb it and 2) if it’s a redraw, try to link back to original post if possible (but I forget to mention that a lot so that second part isn’t as big of a deal)

What about writing fics?

A FEW OF YOU ARE WILD FOR THAT BUT YEAH GO OFF. Still let me know, give credit, tag me if possible, and check out this other post I made too regarding fic writing and overall boundaries about my fallen kid oc’s. If you still have questions after reading that and there’s anything I didn’t go over, reach out and ask in my inbox or dm’s! I’d be happy to elaborate on anything!

What other socials do you have?

I have a Youtube, Twitter, Bluesky, and a Switch (SW-2670-2211-5056) (thats not a social but you should friend me on there anyways and crash my splatoon lobbies lmao).

Do you have any oc’s or personal works?

@an-unconscious-effort-comic and @dragontry-comic (neither stories are connected to each other and are their own projects)

Pronouns?

Please refer to Frisk, Chara, Kris, and any of my fallen human designs with they/them strictly here (or Chara by they/it) (This includes Lilac). Clover also uses they/them my take too (well they/she actually but I usually just refer to her by they they/them in posts because,,,,,nervous)

Oh wait you meant me. Any👍

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

UTDR/UTY COMICS MASTERPOST

(uty comics are highlighted in orange if you’re more interested in the strictly undertale comics)

Clover’s Memories (ongoing - i prommy)

(10/12 update - the voices………….theyre telling me to work on it again………………..meanwhile i got a big project due at midnight and have to study for a test tomorrow, some halloween related ask doodles, and commissions from both sides of my family for their individual family businesses IM GONNA EXPLODEEEE)

Silence | Memory 1 | Memory 2 | Memory 2.5 Coming Soon | Sound | Memory 3 | Discrepancy | Memory 4 | Static

Clover’s Hat (post revive au)

Part 1 /// Part 2 /// Bonus

Kanako Integrity Duo (really short mini doodle comics)

Reconciliation // Introductions // Ceroba // Chujin

Miscellaneous:

Kris and Clover Interaction // Clover’s Sacrifice // Frisk vs. Clover’s POV // Clover Tells Martlet a Secret // Who’s Your Friend? // Pipe Down // Family Visit // Unwell // Letter // Humor // Gamer // They // Kicked Out // It Keeps Happening // What’s In A Name

TAGS:

#Happily Ever After and Then Some -> everyone lives au (based on the events of undertale and uty) including chara, flowey/asriel gets his body back, fallen kids, where i offer very limited explanation for why or how because it simply makes me really self-conscious to try to come up with reasoning and really i just want to imagine these characters in fun and interesting scenarios. Theyre all alive, just go with it and have fun. Note this is not a comic series or anything, i just like doodling the scenarios sometimes

(It doesn’t really have any posted content to it’s name yet,,,other than maybe revived clover au content ig,,,and im just not even sure how hard i’ll commit??? But i think and doodle about it often enough to justify it being mentioned for now. i think)

#Phantom integrity au -> someone sent an ask once about what if clover’s narrator was integrity. It’s a fun idea to explore and where I got the concept of Lilac’s design for! It’s not something I think about very often plotwise but I like drawing ghosty lilac

#Lilac -> yes they deserve their own tag. My integrity design that i like to draw, they have diseases i love them

#Pedias art

#Other peoples art -> you should check them out please 🥺

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

Syd is the pattern breaker

Which is great news in terms of Sydcarmy ENDGAME.

It's not like we all, Sydcarmy truthers, haven't seen that one coming. Of course, we have always known this lady came to turn it all around in Carmy's world from the very get-go, it was always painfully obvious.

BUT

Here is another pattern that she has come to erase from the life of Carmy (and the show)

(He's fighting it like a champ, I must say)

Storer likes strong women who take charge and take the initiative to go after the men they love so the man doesn’t have to (in fiction, IDK about his real life). The guy is the one who gets to decide whether he accepts her advances or innuendos and responds to them, but he doesn’t really take the first step; she does.

Refer to my napkins theory (handkerchief section) please.

Exhibit A: Jess

Jess made it clear she was into Richie in 2x7. Also, at Syd's party. She is up for it and made it clear, even when Richie has not picked up her handkerchief yet.

I don't know about Tiff, nor do I care

Exhibit B: The C person

He created the C person and I will not elaborate on that one. Fuck her!

Exhibit C: Sugar

He created Sugar who is clearly the one who wears the pants in the relationship, and taking into account Pete’s personality, was probably the one who was all over him from day 1, and he was just like: “Yeah Nat, whatever you say, you’re so great, ILY.”

Exhibit D: Tina

He created Tina, same energy as Nat but her husband is no Pete, so I’m not sure about how her relationship with her husband began, I can only safely assume she always speaks her mind. So I’m sure she was open about her feelings when she met her husband, no riddles.

Exhibit E: Donna

He created Donna and same, there’s no version of the story where Donna was ever shy or quiet and not open, if not too open, about her feelings when she met Carmy’s dad (like you know who: the C person) and that’s probably why they got together to begin with and also one of the reasons why he left her eventually. She’s overwhelmingly vocal about how she feels for ppl because the excessive booze removes any social boundaries and barriers and she’s always ready to shout it in everyone’s face. That’s changing though. But that's how she was written into existence by Storer, to begin with.

The game changer → Sydney Adamu

So, that takes us to Syd who never openly flirted with Carmy, unless we count Pasta 2x2 (which I don’t).

And never really read the awkward signs he was trying to give her (which I hate but totally understand because they are business partners and she's a professional).

And so… we have a pattern breaker here. That in Storer’s book means MEAT.

We've reached the meat of the matter, chefs! YAY!

So, there are about a zillion foreshadowing leads we could analyze of how that game change in terms of the female role in the courtship dynamic will play out SOON, Storer wasn't precisely slick throughout the series, but the most obvious and recent one was brought to us hidden in plain sight, in S3 -3x5- and I already went over it here (my own RB notes from 7/27):

The point is that as the post it says: "ALL QUESTIONS ASK SYDNEY!"

That means that dynamic will have to be reversed for Sydcarmy to happen, CARMY WILL HAVE TO POP THE QUESTION. LOL!

No, not that question. Well... maybe eventually, but I'm actually talking about the CONFESSION and asking her out, asking her out on a date or something and I don't mean a symbolic date like the fucking funeral he completely ignored her at and where he then ditched her too. I'm talking about really and openly telling her how he feels for her, and exposing himself to her rejection. Not the other way around.

She has to enable this, of course, so in a sense, she will have to break her patterns for Carmy too, because love is an act of mirroring, as we all know by now.

But it´s Carmy who will have to grow a pair and put into words what has remained unspoken between them and is starting to decay inside -and it's ruining their whole relationship-. He will have to turn the dynamic around and take the role that Storer usually puts "strong women" in, and open up and go after who he wants. He will have to be the strong one and say it out loud. ASK ALL THE QUESTIONS because Syd has all the answers and her answers are the game changers of the show.

I wish it went like this (let's imagine Tanner is either Shapiro or Luca):

Fun fact: Demian Lewis said that he characterized Bobby Axelrod by playing him like a wild animal, tapping into that energy and bringing in it on set every day to play his scenes. He didn't say the beast was a bear though.

Bonus track: Ayo Edebiri. Ayo´s pattern is to be the pattern breaker of the plot. The → plot twist.

Ayo always plays the game-changer character. In Omni Loop, she did too, I'm sure her next movie with Luca Guadagnino will be the same thing. She is drawn to that type of characters and plays them beautifully.

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs💋

[gunrave]

Ideas that I want to discuss on this blog

This isn’t in any order or anything this is just a bunch of thoughts I’ve wanted to talk about regarding this lovely series.

Trigun/Gungrave narrative & themes comparison: On a scale of "love and peace" to "kick their ass"

Brandon Heat is a combination of both Vash and Wolfwood

Is Bunji Kugashira similar to Nicholas D. Wolfwood in certain aspects besides appearance?

Vash & Knives vs. Brandon & Harry: Expectations of trust/loyalty

Bunji Kugashira's hangups about brothers (first Juji then Brandon?)

What's the history between the Kugashira brothers?

How canon is the Gungrave anime to the first Gungrave video game? Was Overdose supposed to bridge the two (appearance of Sherry???)

Why isn't there more Gungrave/Trigun crossover content?

Tsuneo Imahori is so good at music dude: How the Gungrave soundtracks create another layer of atmosphere & emotion

What the fuck was up with Gungrave VR & Gungrave G.O.R.E.?

How and why is Rocketbilly Redcadillac?

I want to see more hijinks with Juji and RB, they are sooooo

Why is Juji not in G.O.R.E.? (Sad but probably not canon idea that he was eventually overcome by the SEED in him)

What it's like to be a deadman aka why don't we let the Gungrave cast experience body horror too

Madhouse wanted the Gungrave anime to be a spiritual successor of the 1998 Trigun anime

Will there ever be another entry in the franchise after G.O.R.E.?

Trigun and Gungrave say aliens are real folks (maybe canon maybe not)

Beyond the Grave & Vincent Valentine: Two ultra sad goth bois that just want to take a nap in their coffins

Feel free to make your own post for any of these ideas or something. As I said before my activity on this blog is going to be pretty inconsistent so don’t expect anything from me anytime soon. Then again just last night I started writing a short little Juji story but I don’t know when I’m gonna finish it. I also plan to do fanart but motivation to draw has honestly become more evasive than wanting to write. If you have any questions or suggestions I’d love to read them in the comments or tags at least. See you guys later!

[the-whumpening]

Intro Post (v2, Bigger and Better!)

About Me

I’m Ruben, but you can also call me Ruby or any variation of those. I’m a 28 year old bi/pan transmasc guy from the US. I’m also disabled (chronic pain, autism, other stuff) so I have both plenty of time to be online and plenty of barriers to keeping a regular schedule, so your patience is appreciated.

Askbox is open and anon is on! Feel free to send in prompts, asks, and general conversation!

My Ao3 account

Schedule

Aiming to post one chapter a week of The Pet Tiger, usually sometime between Sundays and Tuesdays

If you'd like to be added to a taglist, send me a message or drop a comment with the blog you want tagged!

Asks are open for suggestions, comments, questions, and requests

————————————————————

Writing Masterposts

Tigerverse (fantasy/dnd universe whump, multiple arcs/AUs)

Son of Bat (modern setting, bandmates, injury/sickfic)

Weekly Themed Posts [On Hiatus]

————————————————————

Things you’ll likely find here:

General whump and hurt/comfort

Violence/gore/blood

Non/dubcon and intimate whump

Recovery/injury whump and sickfics

Emotional whump

Occasional emeto triggers

Some pet whump

Male whumpees, whumpers, and caretakers

LGBTQ+ and disabled characters

Not currently here but maybe in the future:

More pet whump/BBU

Carewhumpers

Vampire and/or werewolf fics

More NSFWhump

Lady whumper

Royal setting

Robot whump

Non-whump fics (angst, fluff, smut, etc)

Big maybe: fanworks, probably Fallout or DC Comics

You likely won’t see:

Lady whump (no hate, it’s just not my thing)

Military settings and political intrigue

Fanfic (I greatly prefer writing for OCs, but I could be persuaded)

Minor characters, outside of flashbacks (no judgment, just not my thing)

Religious whump

Superhero/Villian/Team whump (don’t mind reading it, just not interested in writing it)

————————————————————

Some whump blogs I'm loving rn (off the top of my head, I'm sure there's more I'm forgetting!):

@kabie-whump @echo-goes-mmm @secretwhumplair @whumpzone @whumpcereal

@sowhumpshaped @whumpurr @doomeddestination

————————————————————

My Tags:

#rublewriting (All my writing and masterposts, does not include weekly posts)

#not whump (Any post that's not writing, like memes or personal posts)

#rublogging (reblogs of others' posts)

#self rb (self explanatory)

#ruby replies (replying to asks)

#Tigerverse (any of the fics set in that universe, each has their own tag as well)

#Son of Bat (any of the fics set in that universe, each series has its own tag as well)

#Meet the Characters Monday

#Worldbuilding Wednesday

#Fuck It Friday

[sixpennydame]

"so if eruri is triggering for you, I’d suggest you start filtering certain tags so you can curate the kind of experience you want here."

I guess you think I don't really filter them out, but you're wrong. Believe me, no matter how much I ban everything related to this ship, it comes up in every way. For example eruri shipper Levixreader writers. Even in the Hcs/fanfic's they write, they are in every way squeezing their own ship under the guise of "this is not ship discourse" and they write the dynamics of that ship under the name of 'levixreader' in order to show that their ship is canon. And you naively Rb'd them and think that Levi's character is really like that. He's a perpetually angry man, he's a cruel selfish man who hates the weak and who hates the weak and who immediately abandons you because he's weak, who puts his feelings for erbin ahead of his duties 🥺 who puts humanity through hell for erbin. but someone who is a dog and a softy for him and someone who threw S/o out of the window for him. Yes he loves S/o but he would even sacrifice S/o for the landlord whose dog he is 😔 But again keep saying "great Levi fic post 😭".

And that's what I'm talking about when I say don't let them manipulate you, because even one of your recent articles is similar to their writing style. I wouldn't be surprised if you soon write Levi as an ass upturned, bed whining, super fanon twink whiny lowlife sub. One of your Rb's in particular is a super delulu shipper levixreader writer, and they so much portray Levi as Erwin's lapdog, order dog, loyal dog, someone who never questions whatever action he takes, never wavers in his loyalty, that Cosmic finally had to write them a misleading reply that Levi is not like that Lmaoo. And they are egotistical and self-righteous enough to say "I know better than you" when they see criticism that contradicts their fanon thinking. Man its 2024 and fucking ackerbond has been debunked years ago and even Isayama's dusty old interviews deny it. Yeah, no matter how much I filter eruri, I see exactly that in both Levi tags and Levixreader tags 🙃 and now whenever I want to read fic or browse Levi posts, I have to look at them with hesitation and fear. I don't understand if I should filter Levi directly?

I'm so tired that I would love for Isayama to drop a bombshell that will disprove both the selfshippers and shippers and all their rhetoric, all their Hc's, and leave us all in a big disappointment. For example to give him a really random female partner. Or I would like him to write a characterization where he really doesn't care about everyone and throws them into the fire, where he thinks about himself and his life instead of thinking about them, where he focuses on himself, where he is truly selfish. Then we wouldn't have to see discourses, dramas and fights like "Levi cared about X the most" "He did this and that for X" "Levi doesn't have a canon ship, but if he did it would be X"

*sighs heavily*

I don’t know what to tell you, Anon. If my reblogging and my moots bring you so much distress, you are free to block me.

I refuse to get involved with ship discourse - that’s not what I’m here for.

But I will say this: the writing I do is xreader, but I love to read and view Levi in many forms - canon and AU, eruri, LeviHan, and everything in between. I’ll be sure to make that clear on my ‘About Me’ page.

I love my moots’ writing and art, and will continue to reblog anything that I find beautiful or pleasing to me. Because that, dear Anon, is why I am here.

[sp-high-au]

OOC Info Yapping😔

Hey! Welcome to my little shitstorm of an au! Obviously I’m gonna talk about it for a little bit because I never learn when to stfu and I feel like there’s a couple of things that I need to bring up to tie the whole thing together.

So this layout is kinda new to me. Technically is a roleplay but also at the same time there’s not gonna be any interaction with other rp blogs. Y’all are more than welcome to rb for your own roleplays though. There’ll be plenty of random shitposts that can be taken out of context.

This blog is being made to mimic an old school website. Y’know the ones where there’s an interactive wall for the students to post on? Yeah that. The post on this blog are going to be a mix of three things (technically four but I don’t think my ooc/admin posts really count).

ANNOUNCEMENT POSTS: Announcement posts are going to be used in place of actual posts for a site admin. Most of the time they’re going to be for lore drops that aren’t really relevant but are kinda fun to put into the storyline. For example: a background character or a character who isn’t that relevant to the story arcs birthday.

WALL POSTS: These wall posts are supposed to be posted “by students.” Once again they’re going to be used to drop more lore crumbs because high schoolers gossip a ridiculous amount and I think it’s funny.

FIC POSTS: The final type of posts are going to be fic posts! These will be link drops to my ao3. The fics will contain the main lore/arcs. They’ll also be reblogged to my main.

This story has odd publishing schedule to say the least. There are twenty-two story arcs. The storyline itself starts September 2nd 2024 and ends June 18th 2026. Each story is also planned to be posted on an accurate date, like in real time.

One arc is equal to one month. For example Arc 1: Intro to The Losers Club, takes place throughout September. The first official fic is going to be labeled like this on any master list: 1.1: (INSERT TITLE HERE). These works will either be oneshots or multi chapters. Any multi chapter will be split into “parts” like if a multi chapter is four chapters in total and there’s only two chapter total it’ll be labeled simply like this: 2/4.

Also there are some darker themes in these stories! Firstly, it’s high school. What high schooler doesn’t have issues? Secondly, it’s South Park and that itself is pretty self explanatory. And finally, I’m fucking delusional and think it’s funny.

Speaking of me though, HI!!! If you’re a mutual on my main who’s stumbled upon this mess, yes it’s Clouded. If you don’t know know who I am you can find me at my main: @justyourtypicalwriter where I am much more active and my posts are very much unplanned, unlike this blog. It’s become a favorite project of mine in the short time I’ve been working on it though and I hope you grow to enjoy it as much as I do!

Here’s one of my many, many picrews of myself that I normally use as pfps because I have a problem and that was a lot of writing💀

BUT I’M STILL YAPPING BECAUSE YOU MAY BE ASKING:

“Oh Clouded what are the ships in this au?”

And to my rare pair lovers I say:

“You’re eatin’ good tonight bbg😘”

Because as much as a Style girlie I am, there are SO MANY absolutely amazing rare pairs that get such little recognition. I know how excited I get when I see a rare pair in a popular fic or comic so there’s some food for my fellow rare pair lovers.

SHIPS:

K2

Staig

Weidi

Tyde

Dip

Rebstella

Gregstophe

Jimmy/Nichole (what’s their ship name y’all)

There’s probably more but I can’t think of any lmao-

HAPPY READING!!!

[pastriibunz]

Heyy

I just wanted to thank you for the amazingness that is the KDIH/Kai Drew-niverse lol. You inspired me to use script format instead of the pain that is book formatting and it's, like, the first piece of work I've actually been proud of lol.

So yeah, thanks for being an inspiration, even if it's just to a socially awkward, musical obsessed little creature haha

okay, this made me almost cry. had to take a bit to recover from it (2 days)

genuinely, thank you for reading. i’d love to see what you wrote :]

honestly, i. i can’t believe im a “big” (if you could even call me that) enough creator in the hatchetfield space to inspire people. i can’t believe my fics are “well known” enough to help people discover a writing style they like better. i cant believe KAI is “big” enough to the point she’s inspiring people.

if you told me a few years ago that people like my writing, my goofy ass character, and there’s a community of 20+ people who enjoy my content and wanna see more of her, i’d fucking laugh in your face. this is all wild to me.

i’ve never thought of myself as a source of inspiration, honestly. i just always had an affinity for writing and plotting out stories in my head. so hearing people say they like her, and having people tell me that KIHF (more specifically NMK) helped inspire them to write their own hatchetfield oc inserts, their own oc-centered nmt eps, it just. makes my heart swell. i promise you guys that if you tag me in that stuff, i see it. i don’t interact because i just. truly don’t know how to respond.

people ask me for advice, sometimes. people ask how i got people to care about kai. and my answer is: i truly don’t know. you all are wonderful people who could probably write so much better than me, and yet. you stayed to read my story. and i really can’t thank you enough.

but. i do have some advice: be annoying about your work. post every thought, and maintag everything until you can’t anymore. people might block you, but you’ll also find those who really care. make your friends read your work. have them be a test audience. have them point out stuff you could work on. have them rb and advertise for you. it worked for me.

and, hey. i wouldn’t mind being apart of your audience :]

sorry for getting all rambly on you, anon! asks like this just make me really happy. i’m glad i could inspire you :]

[allastoredeer]

what kinda radioapple fics do you like? asking cus like. i kinda wanna spread the one i wrote around as it's my first fanfic in terms of actual shipping and it took me a while so i wanna know if you'd like it ^^ sorry if this is weird or a disturbance,, if you say yes i'll rb the answer post w the link jrkenfhjkls

I really like fics that explore the nitty gritty in Alastor and Lucifer’s relationship. Like, it doesn’t shy away from BOTH of their flaws.

Lucifer and his pride with Alastor and his insecurities.

I really enjoy fics that take into account Lucifer’s ego and don’t shy away from giving him repercussions to his actions (like his estranged relationship with Charlie, for example. I hate it when he’s given a free pass for being an absent parent, or when all blame is put on Lilith and he’s made out to be a hapless victim who had no say in his and Charlie’s relationship). I like it when Lucifer is in no way intimidated by Alastor’s power and Alastor has to deal with being around someone who has the potential to make him feel incredibly vulnerable.

I also like fics that involve Alastor and Lucifer getting to know each other. Genuinely getting to know each other. Like Lucifer starting to see Alastor as an actual person, not just an evil little Sinner who’s getting too close to his daughter. And Alastor learning more about Lucifer outside of him being a) king of hell and 2 an absent parent.

Whats better is them wanting to get to know each other, but they keep getting in their own way. Lucifer VS his pride and Alastor VS his insecurities.

I do like cute, wholesome stuff too. Like them being silly with each other or combining the might of their sass to take down a common enemy. Or soft fics when it’s just them and they can bring their walls down, if just for a moment. I think I naturally gravitate towards rough and complicated relationships when they’re just starting out, but I’m a sucker for soft established relationships where they’ve been together for a while and knows each others ins and outs.

Also!

WHOO 🙌 congrats on writing your first shipping fic! And fuck yeah for wanting to post it!

I’m a picky reader T.T it’s something I’m very aware of about myself, so I typically hesitate when people want to send me links to their fics. Theres always the chance it doesn’t click with me, and I really dont want anyone’s feelings to be hurt in that case, especially in regards to something they spent so much time and effort creating. Like you said, it took you a while, and I don’t want that to feel invalidated whatsoever 😭😭

I’ll still read it if you want to post the link (I’m always in search of some yummy fic 😋), and I’ll reblog the link too in case anyone else wants to give it a looksie,

but,

if it doesn’t end up being my cup of tea, please completely and utterly disregard that and continue doing what you’re doing ^.^ I’m just one person on the internet, so my opinion is that of a grain of sand haha.

With all that said, yes please, I’d love to see what you’ve written!

[an-unconscious-effort-comic]

Hello and welcome to An Unconscious Effort!

What is An Unconscious Effort?

At its heart, AUE is a story I wrote to one day be a webcomic about 4 kids being forced to navigate through the depths of the dream world, who all have their own attempts and ideas on how to establish a balance between their dreams and the real world, all while learning how to rely on others and be kinder to themselves.

The story follows 4 different POV’s.

The first quarter of the story will follow Abigail, a 14 year old girl who’s better at talking to plants than she is to people, and trying to figure out this whole ‘growing into the adult she wants to be’ thing, or whatever her mom says. Less and less people in the world have been able to report having dreams as of late, with many speculating if this could mean the start of something much bigger than themselves. So, when a mysterious entity from the dream world offers the opportunity of a lifetime for Abigail to help in reestablishing a balance between the dream world and the waking world and being apart of something that could change the lives of billions for the better, how could Abi even reject this offer?

Current status?

At the moment, the outline for this story is still being workshopped. I have 1/2 of the outline written, but still would like to go over it again once I reach the ending to probably rearrange and tweak some things before properly and officially starting to post the comic for-realsies.

There is already some beta chapters I posted to webtoon and tapas that I made while trying to get a feel for making webcomics in the first place, and while I am still proud of having made those, their quality and story is not representative of what I will be trying to create when I officially start the comic again. They were mainly made to be a learning experience at the time and I guess I did learn a lot.

Main Characters?

I’m glad you asked!! (you didn’t).

Abigail (Abi) - 14 y/o, she/her - Friendly neighborhood girlfailure who takes care of the plants.

(For anyone who remembers my utdr fanart, she was the oc I turned into patience)

Prawn - 15 y/o, he/him - If he sees you sitting on a bench all alone he will sit down next to you and strike up a conversation. This is not a possibility, it is a threat. He knows your location.

(Oc turned into kindness)

Marzipan (Marzi) - 16 y/o, she/her - Girlbossing her way through life, but at what cost.

(Oc i hid under the cut that I had turned into justice)

Meadow - 13-15 y/o?, she/they - What a cute little deer guy! Sure hope they’re not hiding any horrors in them!

(Oc that I turned into perserverance)

Whats this blog for?

Fuck if i know im bored lmao. I doubt this blog or comic will even be seen by anybody but I still sorta want to post some oc work on here and just…have some fun? Maybe organize some stuff about the comic here and post about characters sometimes. Idk I’ll figure it out I suppose

And if you’d rather see my art blog where I usually just post utdr fanart and be cringe then its @squidpedia while @squidpedias-reblogs is my rb account

If you read this far, you have bad taste but thank you

[shellxrls]

cw for (light) discussions of noncon

first of all, ddne is an umbrella term. it's sole purpose is literally to act as a warning to emphasise that you will find dark and triggering content on my blog, not to specify the type of triggering content because there could be a variety of thing that aren't going to appear consistently (namely, you’re calling me out for writing rape but i’ve only written 2 noncon fics, and the rest of the dddne content on my page has been due to other things). it’s an initial warning that literally stands to indicate: you will definitely find dark and triggering content somewhere on this blog and read at your own risk!!

these forewarnings - before you even click follow or look at any of the other contents on my blog - essentially mean that you cannot be mad if you end up viewing dark and triggering content on my blog, a page that literally explicitly states it contains dark and triggering content - you should've just left my blog seeing that as a warning and knowing you didn't like noncon (which is a strong element of dark fics & ddne content).

secondly, i clearly and explicitly mark everything triggering that i post/rb with the appropriate and specific triggers beforehand - both in the tags and in the warnings. so its not like you (or anyone else) can’t just block out the tags ‘cw noncon’ & ‘cw rape’ if you have an issue with seeing that type of content at all, that way you have a direct filtering system and you won't have to see any of that type of content.

thirdly, the dddne warning is there for a variety of reasons, not just to warn others. for one, to avoid scenarios like this where i'm unfairly called out - if you don't like something, simply don't read it. i have enough warnings throughout my entire page to prevent you from actually going through the process of reading what may be triggering for you, and if you make the choice to read a noncon fic all the way through, i'm sure you would've also read the content warnings and actively made the choice to disregard the triggers.

i apologise if even the words noncon or rape are triggering (and even seeing them in the content warnings triggered you), as i understand they could be, but then it circles back to the fact that i have a massive dddne warning on my pinned post in the first place - which means you should’ve just clicked off my blog/blocked me knowing that dddne explicitly indicates you could eventually find triggering content.

lastly, i’m not going to go into an in depth explanation on why i shouldn’t be penalised for ‘writing rape’ and i don’t owe it to you to explain why i personally choose to engage with or write noncon content. but i will say that fiction is there for a reason and writing is an outlet for people to explore things - especially dark media and traumatic situations - the important thing is that it’s done in a safe, controlled way and in the end, it’s not real. people cope in different ways and writing is actually an incredibly healthy way to do so. as long as everyone is over the age of 18 (as they should be to be on my blog) - able to think rationally, consent and form objective opinions about these kind of topics - then i’m not actively hurting anyone by producing this kind of content.

[stunie]

cw topic, whatever spoilers — ex: cw zevie, wind breaker spoilers

.recs — general recs tag, see masterlist here!

.favorites — stuff i re-read on a reg basis

eviewrites — writing tag

boost! , resources! — important stuff etc

🐇 — text ! — my thoughts, misc posts

🥠 — icymi ! — srbs

🗯️ — queued ! — rbs (usually when i’m asleep)

🦢— mail ! — all asks

art! — alllllll the art, selfship art from others too

evie’s treasures — made this for me hehe :> cute stuff

use 🤍 from: name !

adlery, ai, aki, amor, ands, april, ares, aria, ash, audrey, awea, bambi, bee, bitti, candy, carina, cherie, cid, coco, cotton, crys, danyl, des, em, em!, eve, euphie, flora, foxx, hana, hazel, honey, io, jasper, kady, kai, kaze, kiki, kisa, kruin, lena, lex, lin, logan, lu, luma, macaroni, manu, marena, mari, maru, marquie, megumi, melody, melon, mii, mino, minx, miu, mothe, neha, nie, nina, nyx, oakie, paradis, riri, risu, romy, roxy, rye, rylie, ryu, salem, sam, scarlet, sen, skipps, sua, suki, tea, tea!, tuva, venus, venus!, vera, vie, violet, ume, whimsy, yam, ying, yue, zebra, zen, zoya

use 🤍 from: emoji ! ⊹ the link in each emoji just leads to their own tag. it’s for me to show each anon posts i think they’d like! this is coming soon… im really busy right now rip ):

🍒

🥟

🐌

🐋

💌

🐧

🔑

🎀

(◡‿◡🌸)

[starsweets]

hello!!

hey! i’m nix or starburst/starb, and this is my art blog!! he/him, love/loves, or star/stars and i’m 19. i’m a marginalized artist and cartoonist with a passion for my original characters and stories! i almost exclusively draw furries and original content. i like drawing cutesy stuff, romantic scenes, or object characters like pool toys! i’m also an aspiring animator with a hope of pursuing a career in it one day! thanks for checking out my art, any engagement helps out a ton!!

my commissions are always open! or if donations are more your style, i have a ko-fi as well! you can also find my adopts over on toyhou.se. art is my only way of making money currently, so anything helps out a lot!

i recommend reading through my carrd, and i’d ask you to please read my DNI as well. i use the block button liberally! my main is @captainstarburst if you’re looking for posts that aren’t art related, and my oc blog is @gr1evance if you'd like to know more about my characters and settings.

as a general warning, i have stories that involve topics like murder, violence, abuse, and paranoia. as such, i occasionally post works with darker themes, as it's something that's important to me in my own art. i try to tag anything that could be upsetting, but if i miss anything feel free to let me know! feel free to also block the tags #not art and #self rb if you only want to see my individual pieces.

feel free to send an ask or a message, i love to talk to people! thanks for stopping by!!

[surfacelvl]

Hello! Would you be willing to share more about danny ric's developmental input? Or share sources where I could read more? I am really interested. I am newer to f1 tumblr and feel like I don't even know where to start. No pressure! Thank you!

Hi!! Yes, I would be happy to. Basically, find the current Ricciardo storyline very muddled. Whatever you do, don’t fully believe the Instagram & Twitter comment sections saying Daniel is washed. I’m realizing more and more how many faceless F1 “fans” online have no idea what they’re talking about. There’s just a lot more to it than being fast or being slow. Along with Daniel’s popularity, the quick ousting of Nick de Vries last year makes Daniel’s race seat a hot one. Everyone wants to know if he’ll be thrown out without a result.

To make things short, he won’t.

To make things long, it’s a lot more complicated than that. Daniel is more experienced, has already yielded better results than de Vries, and, to be frank, is marketable. My main reason for my original post was that, while there are a lot of interviews and sources talking about Daniel’s beneficial input to VCARB, I would love for Netflix (or any in-depth content!) to really get into his specific role in the team. He’s a driver, of course, but how does his experience and skill make him more of an asset than another driver?

I say this as a massive Danny fan. He’s my fave driver on the grid! I’m just curious.

Without further ado: some sources about Daniel at VCARB.

PlanetF1:

Laurent Mekies talks about how the car has fit Yuki better and that in any team, there will be a driver that the car suits better. He goes on to explain how Daniel’s input has made the car better for both of them.

GPToday:

Daniel & team talking about the relief from his 4th place in Miami.

There are plenty more sources online. I recommended searching Laurent Mekies and anything surrounding Ricciardo at VCARB.

I guess my point is that I want to see a backstory to these scattered sources! The world of F1 is transparent until it’s not, and this is one of those times where we can’t seem to get past the “Daniel is great! The car is what it is.”

It should be said that Daniel is just popular, and therefore under more scrutiny than a lower profile midfield driver. Bottas is in a similar boat (a situation with its own nuances!), as well as the Haas boys, although that story has been developing for a while.

I wouldn’t expect a podium this season. Hopefully a couple of top tens! But when VCARB improves in any aspect, let’s not forget how lucky they are to have Daniel. He’s putting in work.

[torawro]

the way i’m slowly and extremely gradually treating my blog like my diary or just like….instagram or something is becoming increasingly concerning to me by the day. i just post and rb a bunch of stuff that i like or supporting other creators on here or screaming about my thoughts (that have so much range by the way). uncontrollable venting under the cut .

TLDR -> i am in my feelings and im feeling sad and wallowing in self loathing things because i want to write so so bad all the time but there are so many other factors discourage me from doing so, like im not good enough because i don’t publish things enough, & not many people read anything i write anyway

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i really am trying not to hate myself because another 2-ish months have passed since the last time i have posted a fic, but it is so so hard not to. SO HARD. mutuals are doing kinktober events left, right and center, other moots post fics and blurbs as easy as sending a 5 sentence text and here i am. envious of them all. rereading and proofreading and staring at the same drafts i have had in my google docs for weeks. months, even!

i just get discouraged coming on here sometimes. it’s not that i don’t have the motivation to write because i do— i really do. i have so so many ideas that i want to share with everyone and my writing style keeps evolving and it makes me want to experiment with different tropes with my favs and see how well i can execute them. but the actual doing it….finding the time and trying to balance is just :( sob. it’s hard.

i internally cringe and silently scold myself at the wips i have and remembering how at the time i created them i was so excited to write them but then never finished for one reason or another. abandoned series make me sad :/ i feel guilt when people talk to me about how much they liked a headcanon i did and how i promised to expand on it, or multichap series i only posted the prologue and first chapter over a year ago. guilt bc i want to write everything but just can’t and i’m still struggling to accept that.

and in the process of struggling with this fact it turns into a self loathing cycle that then turns into disappointment when interactions on my writing pieces are low and have become stagnant, and the pieces are 4+ months old or something, and it’s like will i become irrelevant if i don’t post something soon? i have nothing new to offer at the moment, all the ideas im excited about and i have a feeling people will like im still working on or in the brainstorming phase so im like what do i do? idk. then i just close the app.

don’t even get me started on how admiration at just how good other people write makes me feel awful about my own writing…..

anyway sorry for boring you with my feelings but yeah :,) maybe i should stop being so hard on myself

if u read this far then….wow. thanks for listening 🤍