#like i’m not even a ‘be the bigger person’ kinda guy myself

[genderqueer-karma]

i need his “woe is me” shit cut right now i can’t do this. like……… sorry your life sucked or whatever but you still did all that evil ass stuff man (with intention, mind you). idk what to tell ya 🤷‍♀️

[learnyouabiology]

Fun Fact: Hognose snakes are dramatic lil guys!

I am particularly fond of the snakes known as hognose snakes, and my reasons are both understandable and correct.

This is a hognose snake:

(They received their name by having the sweetest lil snoot to ever require a boop – image source)

They use these adorable snoots to burrow under sandy soil using a sort of nuzzle-y motion. They then use these burrows as a place to sleep at night, hibernate in the winter, and lay their eggs. 

(you could say they’re into... the Underground Scene! ...ok yeah i’ll show myself out – image source)

Plus, they come in a variety of delightful colours!

We've got brown! Beige! Yellow! Black! Red! Orange! Tan! Kinda greenish! Orange again!

(pretty sneks! – Here’s all the image sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

And, to be clear, the snakes pictured above are wild snakes. No selective breeding by humans in these noodly bois! At least, not in these specific individuals. probably. I guess a few of them could be escapees... 

But most importantly: These snakes know the true meaning of DRAMA

Hognose snakes are actors, first and foremost. When they feel threatened, the first thing they do is puff out their neck into a hood. 

(like cobras, this hood is made by FLEXING THEIR NECK RIBS. which: gross – image source x)

This superficially makes them look like a cobra, but what they’re actually trying to do is make themselves seem bigger, and therefore scarier. Possibly those dark spots on their neck helps with that! 

Any resemblance to real-life Eurasian cobras, real or fictional, is purely coincidental

Also, it makes its mouth do this:

(Snakes that SCREAAAAAAAM. – image source)

honestly, if I didn’t already know that hognose snakes were harmless, this would ABSOLUTELY make me leave it the hell alone 

But if all of that^ is unsuccessful at scaring away the predator, the hognose snake pulls its signature move: playing dead

If you think that is a lame signature move, then you are wrong, because hognose snakes put EVERYTHING into their performance and I love them for it.

(they’re serious, they’ll do it!  – image source)

((I’m actually going to stick the rest of this under a read-more, bc the pictures of the alive-and-physically-fine hognose snakes do kind of look like a legitimately-dead hognose snake, if you don’t know what to look for. 

So, uh: cw for a snake being too good at pretending to be dead))

Behold: a series of completely healthy, unharmed snakes!!!

(to help with their self-esteem, we ask that you at least pretend to believe that they are dead – image sources 1, 2, 3, 4)

Honestly, the photos don’t do it justice. Here’s my favourite video of the whole wonderous performance: 

But to review:

There's writhing! There's dramatic noises! There's flipping onto their back and opening their mouth wide and letting their tongue hang out! There's excreting a combination of  intentionally smelly substances!!! Truly a master of the art of being left the hell alone (*^▽^*)

(yep. deeeeefinitely dead. not just faking it. nothing worth eating here! – image source)

Personally, my favourite part of this is how they insist on rolling onto their back, even when they are rolled back onto their stomach. 

Seriously, if you try to roll them right-side-up, they will flip back over. It's as though they believe that a good, proper dead snek MUST be on its back, obviously.

(truly fearsome – image source)

Sadly, the hognose snake may have made itself too scary, according to humans.

Out of fear, these snakes are commonly killed on sight 😔. I once heard someone proudly brag about how they’d killed a dozen cobras! In southern Ontario! Where cobras do not live! This is both extremely frustrating and deeply sad.

(safe enough to hold! although maybe don’t, just because this snake IS probably experiencing mortal fear, which is not a good feeling – image source © Dean Stavrides)

So just to highlight: hognose snakes are completely harmless. They’re just pretending to be fearsome!

(not that people should be killing venomous snakes either, imo. Let the danger noodles LIVE THEIR LIVES)

(i is baybee, pls do not hurt me – image source)

And now some bonus facts to help raise us out of that downer:

Hognose snakes are toad specialists! Their favourite food is toads, which is unusual, because toads are poisonous. Hognose snakes deal with this by force of will and also, at least two amino acid substitutions, maybe (Mohammadi et al. 2016). Possibly a few other things help with this, also (Feldman et al. 2016).

(is snek eat toad? or does toad wearing cape of snek? impossible to tell, really – image source)

Also, I have a confession: hognose snakes... are venomous. Technically.

(itty bitty little fangs at the veeeeery back of their mouth!  – image source)

They are known as rear-fanged snakes, which means they have fangs aaaall the way at the back of their mouth. The venom they produce seems to be toad-specific, and is considered to be harmless to humans unless you happen to have an allergy but that's the exception rather than the rule

(the two hognose species. They are both baybee, but in different ways actually there might be more than two species but these are the two i’ve actually learned about so ALL WELL   – image source)

Also, hognose snakes are big cowards NOT aggressive and I've never even heard of anyone getting bit by a one (outside of one feeding mishap, which we can all agree was an ACCIDENT). 

The series of events that would need to occur for you to be envenomated are so unlikely and bizarre that I assume you would have to be TRYING to get bit.

This has been Fun Fact Friday, bringing you the forbidden noodly boys to try and keep them a little more safe!

.....................................................................

Sources, because I know me and SO DO YOU:

Averill-Murray, R. C. (2006). Natural history of the western hog-nosed snake (Heterodon nasicus) with notes on envenomation. Sonoran Herpetologist, 19(9), 98-101.

Buchanan, Scott W.; Timm, Brad C.; Cook, Robert P.; Couse, Richard; Hazard, Lisa C. (2017). Spatial ecology and habitat selection of eastern hognose snakes. The Journal of Wildlife Management, 81(3), 509–520. doi:10.1002/jwmg.21218 

CHS: Canadian Herpetological Society https://canadianherpetology.ca/species/species_page.html?cname=Eastern%20Hog-nosed%20Snake

COSEWIC. 2021. COSEWIC assessment and status report on the Eastern Hog-nosed Snake Heterodon platirhinos in Canada. Committee on the Status of Endangered Wildlife in Canada. Ottawa. xi + 45 pp.  https://www.canada.ca/en/environment-climate-change/services/species-risk-public-registry/cosewic-assessments-status-reports/eastern-hog-nosed-snake-2021.html

Cunnington, G. M., & Cebek, J. E. (2005). Mating and nesting behavior of the eastern hognose snake (Heterodon platirhinos) in the northern portion of its range. The American midland naturalist, 154(2), 474-478.

Feldman, C. R., Durso, A. M., Hanifin, C. T., Pfrender, M. E., Ducey, P. K., Stokes, A. N., ... & Brodie Jr, E. D. (2016). Is there more than one way to skin a newt? Convergent toxin resistance in snakes is not due to a common genetic mechanism. Heredity, 116(1), 84-91. 

 Jared, C., Luiz Mailho‐Fontana, P., & Maria Antoniazzi, M. (2021). Differences between poison and venom: An attempt at an integrative biological approach. Acta Zoologica, 102(4), 337-350.

Liu, C., Chen, Y., Zheng, Y., Bo, J., Yang, C., Xu, S., & Zhang, S. (2022). Wear Resistance Improvement of Keeled Structure and Overlapped Distribution of Snake Scales. Journal of Bionic Engineering, 1-11. Citing abstract.

Mohammadi, S., Gompert, Z., Gonzalez, J., Takeuchi, H., Mori, A., & Savitzky, A. H. (2016). Toxin-resistant isoforms of Na+/K+-ATPase in snakes do not closely track dietary specialization on toads. Proceedings of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, 283(1842), 20162111. 

 Nature Conservancy of Canada: https://www.natureconservancy.ca/en/what-we-do/resource-centre/featured-species/reptiles-and-amphibians/eastern-hog-nosed-snake.html

Plummer, M. V., & Mills, N. E. (1996). Observations on trailing and mating behaviors in hognose snakes (Heterodon platirhinos). Journal of Herpetology, 30(1), 80-82.

Rouse, Jeremy D.; Willson, Robert J.; Black, Ron; Brooks, Ronald J.  (2011). Movement and Spatial Dispersion of Sistrurus catenatus and Heterodon platirhinos: Implications for Interactions with Roads. Copeia, 2011(3), 443–456. doi:10.1643/ce-09-036     

Seburn, D. 2008. Recovery Strategy for the Eastern Hog-nosed Snake (Heterodon platirhinos) in Canada. Species at Risk Act Recovery Strategy Series. Parks Canada Agency, Ottawa. vi + 24pp.

Schwartz, V. & D. Golden (2002). Field Guide to Reptiles and Amphibians of New Jersey. New Jersey Division of Fish and Wildlife

VHS: Virginia herpetological society http://www.virginiaherpetologicalsociety.com/reptiles/snakes/eastern-hog-nosed-snake/eastern_hognose_snake.php#:~:text=Heterodon%20is%20derived%20from%20the%20Greek%20words%20heteros,meaning%20%22broad%20or%20flat%22%20and%20rhinos%20meaning%20%22snout%22

Young, R. A. (1992). Effects of Duvernoy's gland secretions from the eastern hognose snake, Heterodon platirhinos, on smooth muscle and neuromuscular junction. Toxicon, 30(7), 775-779. https://doi.org/10.1016/0041-0101(92)90013-U

Young, B. A., & Morain, M. (2003). Vertical burrowing in the Saharan sand vipers (Cerastes). Copeia, 2003(1), 131-137.

SARA: threatened https://www.canada.ca/en/environment-climate-change/services/species-risk-public-registry.html

[meaninglessrambles]

everything has changed.

ship: spencer agnew x reader.

summary: you move in next door to spencer.

warnings: none!

author’s note: not at all what i was meant to be working on but, hey, when inspiration strikes… kinda went into this with the idea that neighbor!reader may be a recurring character, so if there’s any scenarios you wanna see, let me know. 

'cause all i know is we said, "hello" and your eyes look like comin' home.

the first time you meet your neighbor, it’s with a plate of homemade chocolate chip cookies and a smile on your face. you’re nervous—desperate, really, to make a good first impression and worried one last minute gathering will ruin it—but damn near giddy at the idea of meeting someone new. always the people person, you look at every introduction as the chance to make a friend.

you knock, confident, loud, and if possible, your grin gets bigger when the door slowly opens and a man appears, angling himself so carefully in the entry way you have to assume there’s at least one pet lurking behind him. “hi! i just moved in next door.”

“hello?” it’s more of a question than a greeting.

you continue on, undeterred. “and i wanted to introduce myself.” which you did—finding out the person whose night you interrupted was named spencer—but that wasn’t your only goal. “there is one more thing…”

“okay…” spencer breathes. he’s not trying to be rude—really, he’s not—but it’s been a long week and he’s tired and you’re far too pretty to just show up at his door like this. 

“i’m having a few people over.”

that get’s his attention. “you’re having a party?” with the quirk of a brow, he really studies you now—he’d been keeping strong eye contact until this moment—if you’re not exactly his age, you’re close enough he would have expected you to age out of apartment ragers a decade ago.

“worse, actually,” you admit, almost sheepish. “having some friends over for the real housewives of oc premiere and, uh, bravo really brings out the worst in us.” you just your chin towards the cookies. “these are a bribe.”

“ah,” he nods. “cookies in exchange for no noise complaints.” a pause. “i like your style, dude. i’m no narc but since you’re offering…” he pulls the plate gently from your grip.

well, at least that was one less thing to worry about. “enjoy!” you turn, ready to go back to your place, and give him a quick wave. “see you around!”

“yeah,” he says, “see you around!”

─────────────────────────────

and you do see him around. you give polite smiles and quick hellos when you pass each other in the halls or run into each other in the mail room. but you don't really talk to him again until a week later.

you'd just step into the lobby when you hear a familar voice yell, "shut that door! don't let her out."

you come to a stop right as a big blur of fur comes running right at you, careening off your shins and bouncing back. you don't give the cat even a chance to do it again; with ease, you scoop the feline up, doing your best to be gentle while keeping it restrained.

it's only seconds later that spencer comes into view, curls dishelved, breathing labored and cheeks pink. chasing a four-legged friend down three flights of stairs will do that to a person.

"shit, thank you, seriously," spencer says once he catches his breath, extending his arms so you can give the little escape artist back to her rightful owner. "you're an actual life saver. if she had gotten out..."

he doesn't even need to finish the sentence. while work kept you too busy for a pet of your own right now, you'd grown up with them. losing one was akin to losing a family member.

you reach out, meaning to give a comforting pat on the shoulder, but your hand rests there a little longer than you intended. when spencer's eyes meet yours, for a minute you forget what your intentions even were.

you'd hadn't touched him before—why would you? he's just the guy in the apartment next to yours.

you blink.

once.

twice.

then a distraught meow pulls you back to reality and you shake your head. "no sense in thinking about the what-ifs. just get houdini back under lock and key, yeah?"

the two of you make your way up three flights of stairs. the whole time you're silent, while spencer mutters sentiments ranging from intense frustration to deep relief to the cat who, with his attention solely on her, seems quite content.

─────────────────────────────

when you part ways at your respective doors, you expect this to be the last of it. until spencer shows up at your door the very next day, your plate in hand, with some precariously placed brownies on top.

"hey, uh, just wanted to return your plate and the favor after you thwarted zola's escape attempt yesterday." he's a little nervous, a little on edge. "and don't worry, i didn't make these so they're edible."

"you really didn't have to do that," you assure him, although you're glad he did.

"actually, i'm pretty sure i did. and i still owe you, like, a million favors after this too."

you laugh at that. "you really, really don't. that's just what neighbors do."

"well, still... thank you."

with yet another expression of gratitude, silence falls over the two of you and you can sense with it's arrival, spencer is getting ready to say his goodbyes. before he can, you surprise even yourself by asking, "do you like thai food?"

when you get a nod of the head in affirmation, you continue on. "'cause i've got a delivery coming any minute now and i think i went a little crazy. if you're hungry..."

you've never needed help finishing takeout before, but you decided right then in that very moment, that you would like his company just a little bit longer.

"you got some pad thai coming?" spencer's first reaction is an immediate yes and he has to say something, anything, to sound less eager.

"duh."

"in that case, hell yeah i'm hungry."

that's all you need to hear. you step aside, giving him access to your humble abode and shut the door behind him.

in all the places you've lived, you've never once invited a neighbor over—let alone for a meal. it's about time that changed.

all i know is a simple name, everything has changed.

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

Requesting sizekink bam hcs because I rarely see them on here and I feel like due to his height feeling bigger than his s/o would get him going 🤷🏼‍♀️

Bam Margera Size Difference HC’s!

Bam Margera X Gn!Reader

Warnings: Suggestive content, height difference, Y/N is implied to be petite

An: Thank you so much for the request!! As a shorter/smaller person myself, I have plenty of experience in this department, and it’s always fun to put my personal experiences in my work :D I’m also on a huge Bam kick atm so feel free to send those requests my way!

Given the fact Bam is one of the shortest members of the Jackass crew (second only to Wee Man), you’d be hard pressed to find him dating anyone drastically shorter than him

Well, that is until he met you,

Now, he also never thought he’d care about that sort of thing, but that was also before he met you.

It started innocent enough with some lighthearted teasing;

Just because you’re dating Bam doesn’t mean you get any respite from his usual bullshit.

Like that time you were over at the castle and your boyfriend popped his head in the kitchen doorways while you were grabbing yourself something to eat,

“Hey, Y/N- I’m gonna go antique Ryan. Can y’grab the the flour real quick?”

Of course, that was the same flour he put on the highest shelf earlier so he could watch you struggle to reach it, standing close behind you with his hands on your hips

Because, in his eyes, it was adorable and hilarious, especially when he offered to ‘Lion King’ you up so you could get it.

Not to mention all the times he’s given into the impulse to throw you over his shoulder and run around carrying you in a fireman’s hold,

“Bam!” Your resistance was only met with hysterical laughter from him and the rest of the guys. “I swear to god, if you don’t put me down-!”

Just before he’d toss you onto whatever nearby soft surface because he also found it hilarious to see you so pissy over something like that.

The moment you found out there was maybe something Bam wasn’t telling you was when you mentioned something about the size difference between you and him,

I mean, it was no Peter Steele Playgirl shoot, but you were just on the cusp where people might stare at the two of you in public and it was kinda getting to you

“What’re you talkin’ about?” Bam shrugged, totally nonchalant, “If anything, that shits hot.”

Wow. You never thought about it like that.

He gestured for you to hold your palm out to compare up against his, “I mean, it’s not even that big of a difference! C’mere-“

Bam’s hand felt warm and intimidatingly wide against your palm- he had at least an entire knuckle on you.

With his previous words in mind, you could kind of see where he was coming from…

The chuckle that reverberated from your boyfriend’s chest led you to believe he was considering comparing his hands to some other parts of you to show off just how tiny you were next to him.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

Hi. I read a recent ask from someone else, where you say that you are now divorcing your partner, so this may be a little awkward but; I have seen your post about your (ex-)partner several times now, and I wanted to ask. I am AFAB non-binary. Funnily enough, I’m also pan. But I have recently started to think- albeit in the vaguest of senses- about dating, and I realised that I almost certainly will struggle to find cis guys who will date me and be chill with my gender. So, I was wondering if you had any insights? Feel free to ignore this!

I hope you're cool with me answering this publicly, because it's giving me the kick I needed to say some things I want out there for anyone who sees that post and finds my blog.

it's getting easier to talk about. the truth is, my ex treated me very badly in the last couple of years we were together, worse than I was willing to admit to myself before a lot of therapy and a lot of kindness and patience from friends. there was a lot of gaslighting and intense emotional volatility along with financial and legal abuse. I have lingering post-traumatic symptoms from it - frequent nightmares, panic attacks, even a massive months-long gap in my memory.

but none of that really has anything to do with your question, because the fact is, respecting their identity has fuck all to do with our relationship, or their character, or their actions.

I actually had a big fight with my mother recently because she was upset that I don't talk to her about all this enough, and eventually I was like, "after 7 years you still can't even get their pronouns right, how am I supposed to go to you for support about how that relationship fucked up my life when I have to stop to defend them from your ignorance every five minutes?" she seemed surprised that I still cared about being respectful and I was just like, yeah and that's why you and I have spent 30 years not understanding each other lol

and I think that's kinda the best advice I can give you: don't trust anyone who only cares about respecting the truth of who you are when they're happy with you. they should care when you've fucked up and hurt them. they should care when you're yelling at each other because they're being a selfish dickhead. they should care when you break up, or when they ask you out and you say no.

that doesn't mean they always have to get it right. people slip up on pronouns because of how they're used to talking, or they repeat dumbass stereotypes or ask inappropriate questions because they don't know better yet. but don't waste your time with anyone whose level of respect for your gender is based on their attitude to you in that moment. you deserve better than that. someone who only gets your pronouns wrong when they're angry is a way bigger red flag than someone who just occasionally gets them wrong at random times.

and yeah, you might struggle to find people who meet that threshold, depressingly low though it is. but the good news is, once you do find those people you're automatically in a better starting place than a lot of relationships. and knowing you've found the right person is way more important than how long it takes.

[hispanthicc]

I'm glad to hear you're feeling better now after your break up. I love guys like you whose weight gain has a direct landing in their bellies. Everything else on them is normal size, back, face, legs, feet, arms, hands. But when they turn around, there's this great big belly. Your watermelon belly looks astounding!

Well, I wouldn’t say that I feel better even though it was a few years ago. it was a 5 yr relationship and I was 100% planning to be with him for the rest of my life. Then he just threw me away lol. I’ll never get that time back and I still struggle with a lot of the harsh things he’s said to me and also a lot of his actions afterwards. In fact I got triggered a few days ago cuz I was going through my blocked list on a certain site and I saw him. His pfp pic was changed to a pic that showed his face. 1. I always had to beg him to send me a selfie. 2. He’s always been kinda ashamed of what he’s into and definitely was embarrassed to be seen with me or take pictures with me, especially in the end. So it kinda hurt my feelings I guess, but I’m just sensitive. I also feel terrible for even having any feelings about him at all but it takes a while to fully get over things. But he’s blocked on everything and I wish him the best. Every once in a while the photo cloud will show me a pic of him and I get triggered all over again. But at this point I’ve deleted everything.

I’ve mostly moved on and even my mom said that the best way to get over it and forget is to find someone else and that definitely was good advice. Unfortunately, though that hasn’t completely worked the way I would’ve liked and the past week has been a lot emotionally. I’ve been feeling lonely and horny, I’ve also just felt very left out. Some of it’s my fault cuz anxiety and sometimes just funds lol. I also suck at getting close to people. Abandonment issues or whatever. I also don’t just dive into anything it takes me a long time to just be like I’m okay and ready but I can’t and don’t expect anyone to wait for me to be ready and of course the consequence of that is they move on lol. Which is fine and dandy or whatever but I’m just experiencing a lot of emotions lately that I’ve never felt before and I don’t know how to handle any of it.

Anyways gaining and focusing on my body has definitely helped a little cuz I do feel a little more confident sometimes. I lost a lot after the break up and that definitely made me hate myself but I also thought maybe he’d come back if I did but he said I didn’t match his aesthetic (LOL) but he didn’t come back in fact after he dumped me he went to London lol. Literally within weeks. Didn’t even tell me which I guess he didn’t have to in retrospect but he kinda led me on for months making me think we’d get back together. Idk I was ignoring a lot because I wanted to be with him so bad.

Anyways fast forward I went to a film festival in Canada which got me inspired by life again. Enrolled in grad school the following year. Finished the first year and here we are.

I think I noticed I started to gain again during my first semester back in school. Like one day I just woke up and I was bigger. I noticed it in my face write away. It’s kinda hard gaining on a student budget lol but I did the best I could.

I’m not like super big or anything but I’m more filled out all over. Most importantly though, I feel very cute and pretty.

Sorry for this long ass post I know you probably didn’t want to hear the personal stuff. But it’s the internet. The land of over sharing.

[dreadnotau]

Happy three years everybody! As always, there’s a lot to say on the occasion, so pop in at the end of the post for the tl;dr if you don’t have time for my detailed diatribes, haha

Boy, time flies, huh? Feels like the second anniversary was just yesterday, but maybe that’s just the several long hiatuses getting to me. I’ve been scarce on uploading anything anywhere for a while now, even though I promised I’d actually pick up the slack this time around. What gives? Well…

For one, college hell, and for two, a lot of unfounded anxiety about putting my art out there. Allow me some theatrics for a moment and I’ll actually get back to the comic at hand… I’ve never had an exceptionally supportive environment for making art. It wasn’t suppressive, not in the slightest, but it also wasn’t… encouraging. It was always treated as a hobby or a distraction rather than something I was allowed to be fully proud of, especially because a lot of my art focused on more cartoon-y and fantasy ideas, rather than still life studies and painting (which people generally outside of the art sphere tend to value more, arbitrarily). Couple that with a childhood full of being bullied over minute shit you hadn’t even considered could be an issue before, and you get a teenager hellbent on never sharing his interests or ideas with anyone, mostly due to the fear of rejection.

I’ve grown, thankfully, but that paranoia and fear doesn’t go away overnight. As I’m sure you all know, Meowchela was the one who originally encouraged me to post this comic, and the only reason she succeeded was because she was the first person in a long time who listened and engaged with my interests and my art in a meaningful way. It’s kind of obvious her friendship had a profound impact on me, and I’d cite her as one of the reasons I was even hopeful enough to apply to an art college in the first place! This comic, and that bond with another person, proved that maybe these things I’m so passionate about weren’t duds, and weren’t something I had to keep to myself.

So, fast forward a few years. About three years, in fact.

During one of my classes, right before this hellish two weeks of exams started, one of the class assistants talked me into showing my comic pages to one of my professors. He’s generally a pretty open guy when it comes to new mediums, but I’m always… apprehensive about showing my less “traditional art”-y things to professors, but, he ended up being genuinely proud of it. Specifically, I showed him pages 85-87 (because they’re my favourites) and, he didn’t read the text, just the visuals were enough for him to say “good job, keep it up” (which is HIGH praise from that guy). When I mentioned I’ve been meaning to simplify the visuals because I didn’t have time to work on the comic very often because of college and classes, he dismissed it on principle. I was honestly caught off guard. Heavily paraphrasing, he suggested that worsening the visuals for an arbitrary deadline was counterproductive to making something that’s Good™.

That’s kinda stuck with me. For a good few years now I was more focused on optimisation rather than visual improvement for the comic, and though it HAS contributed to better visuals in some ways (cutting corners sometimes makes for a less pointy and jagged end result), it’s kind of weird I’m treating an art project that way, isn’t it? I set a lot of… arbitrary deadlines and standards for myself, in the form of expectations and what I “should” or “shouldn’t” be doing at certain stages in my life. I’ve thought of Dread Not as a passion project second and a stepping stone first, if I’m being honest. As if it was too… fandom-y and derivative to be treated with more gravity than that, like it’s an immature project because I was still a child when I came up with it. As if it was something I’m making to Build Up to Something Else, something Bigger and Cooler and More Important, and… the more I think about the future of Dread Not, and even my future career options, the more I realised that’s, ironically, a really immature way to think about it.

If there’s one thing going to this art college has taught me, is that there’s no “right” way to make art, and there’s no “right” way to success as an artist. There’s no clear-cut paths, just more commonly treaded roads, but even those are heavily overgrown. Why should I try to box myself into thinking I have to make things from complete scratch to be taken seriously? What’s so bad about Dread Not as a story and as a comic that’s caused me to vaguely keep it under wraps when conversing with people in my day-to-day life? Why wouldn’t I put all these skills I’ve acquired to improve and expand this project that’s Right There, WAITING for me to finally get off my ass and get pages out there again?

I wish I could say I’ve used all this time away in a particularly clever way, but I really haven’t - at least, it feels like I haven’t. My art has undoubtedly improved over time (though admittedly the art for this post was Very rushed, fuckin exams), and while I’ve been working on projects in the background, chipping away at them in a VERY disorganised way, I haven’t been posting that progress anywhere, and I haven’t made any good progress on my biggest project, Dread Not, because of the other ones. And, honestly? Admitting that kinda stings. This comic means a lot to me, and I wish I actually gave it the time and attention it deserves instead of letting it sit out hiatus after hiatus because I keep failing at structuring my time.

So, my new plan is a little more abstract: find a way to work Dread Not into my school schedule, and slowly build a habit of working on it more often. No clue how long that’ll take, but I think it’ll be worth it to consider it as an option, and hopefully finally end these long, drawn out hiatuses with short bursts of uploads in-between. HOPEFULLY. Building habits was never my strong suit, so please bear with me while I figure this out in what will probably be the most hectic upload schedule in this comics history, which is: no schedule at all.

From now on (until the end of Act 1), I’ll upload pages when they’re ready, and depending on how the weeks go and how complex the page is, they could be weeks or days apart from one another. Hell, some might even take a month to finish if school stuff gets REALLY hectic (god knows Hellish Exam Week number 1 and number 2 won’t be giving me much time to work on the comic), but I’m determined to do this. I want to be able to put my all into this project again!!

(And hopefully finish Act 1 by the end of this semester…)

TL;DR: College is giving me life lessons I didn’t expect, and because of them I’ve decided to give myself a non-existent upload schedule for Dread Not: Pages will be posted when they’re ready, and the spacing between pages could wildly vary depending on circumstances and the actual complexity of the page itself.

As always, thank you for being here, thank you for reading, and thank you for being patient!

If all goes well, there will be new content very, very soon.

[jinkookspencil]

hi! ive read your one two drop jjk!! what if y/n actually kind of like you know scary thing. like all the rides are actually fun but the thing is she doesn’t have a friend who want to do this with her so then jk is there ehhehe

shall we? | jjk

with no one to go on all the rides with, your friend encourages you to take a bold decision at a theme park...

description/tw/tags: ~1.9k words / jungkook x (f) reader / one-shot drabble / fluff / meet-cute / no warnings except swearing / feat jimin it made most sense to give them both a friend / happy, laughing jk!! i saw his recent weverse post and my heart hurts for him - i wish him nothing but happy happy days :( / i hope this is what you meant, anon, and i really hope you like it!!! thank you so much for requesting and for reading one two drop! / sorry for calling jk the bigger boy and jimin the shorter one - i'm kinda short myself so i didn't mean it in a teasing way! / ahhh idk how i feel about this one idk if i love it but i hope you like it anon / feedback is always welcome and it's appreciated!💗

There were many unspoken rules in life. Don’t propose at someone else’s wedding. Let people get off the elevator before you get in. Always pour in the milk after the cereal…

And, when planning an outing to a theme park, let your friend know whether you are a ride person or not.

Ki, your only friend at university, showed nothing but excitement when you suggested going to the theme park over the weekend. It was only natural that you expected her to be down to go on the rides with you… but when you see her in a flowy pink dress, white lace-up boots, and a beret, you quickly realize that that wasn’t the case.

“Looking very cute. But how are you going to go on any rides in that?” you question the moment you spot her by the park’s entrance, ignoring the fact that you'd coincidentally perfectly coordinated, considering your lavender jumpsuit.

“Who said anything about rides? There’s that new Sanrio pop-up with all the photo ops. I thought that’s why you suggested it.”

“I meant that as a bonus, Ki. So, what, are we gonna come back for the rides another day then?”

“Well… we can come back for something else. I hate rides, bestie, so you’ll have to go alone.”

“Oh, come on,” you pout, stopping dead in your tracks. “Just one ride.”

“They make me nauseous, boo. Even the kiddie ones. Sorry, I guess I should’ve told you, huh?”

“You guess?” you resign, briefly forgetting your disappointment until it actually sinks in during your walk around the park, when all you could do is merely look at all the rides after snapping photos at every single Sanrio-themed spot.

“I hate you for not telling me,” you utter beneath your breath, the roar of a passing rollercoaster cart right afterward only emphasizing your frustration.

“I said I was sorry! You can go alone, you know? I’ll wait.”

“What fun is that?” you sulk. “You, as my one friend, outweigh every other person I’ve ever known in my life in every regard but this…. I’ve never hated you until today, boo, because you and I both know I can’t just ask someone else.”

“Wait, no…. you can! Just do that!” she suggests excitedly, stopping.

“Do what?”

“Just… ask someone else. A stranger. I mean…. it’ll be very easy to find someone willing to go on a ride… you know, at a theme park. Would that be weird? If you just went up to someone and asked them?”

“It would definitely be weird, you freakish extrovert. Who’d do that?"

"Us? What difference does it make, whether it's a ride or a dance at a club? I know you've only just begun understanding my ways and finally tried approaching men at clubs, but... there's really no difference."

"It is different. A theme park is like... a date place. It's not just a dance."

"Well, both instances can involve a ride," she winks, laughing as you roll your eyes.

"I'd never go with a stranger anyways. There's no excitement there. Unless it was with a hot guy,” you joke.

“… And I’m sure a guy would be just as happy to go on a ride with a hot girl, too, boo.”

Ki goes on, seeing your eyes widen.

“If a hot guy came up to you and asked you, would you say yes?”

“Depends how hot…” you tease, “but yeah, I think I would. Why not?”

“Exactly! ‘Why not?’… Aren’t adventurous types your thing? Be it for a change. Think about it: if you’d say yes, why can’t it work the other way around? Provided he isn’t scared or prone to motion sickness like me…. Why would a single, fun guy refuse to go on a ride with a hot girl? And you’re a gorgeous girl who is usually sunshine in human form..... except for the last dreadful, moping hour. I’m sick of it. Find a hot guy, a ride, and get out of this funk already.” Ki’s eyes light up at her own suggestion. For the first time in her life… she might’ve been on to something….

“I just pick a guy? At random?”

“What do you have to lose?”

-

Finding someone in a sea full of teenagers and couples took longer than usual. Waiting around ride exits, entrances, and photo kiosks were all futile attempts at your now lame mission. that you’d huffed your way to the pretzel stand. You might as well eat something sweet and fluffy if you couldn’t find a guy you could describe with those words… You were a step away from cinnamony, twisty goodness when two figures whizz between you and the pretzel stand.

“YA! Jimin-hyung! You have to!” you hear, your eyes fixated on the chase unfolding in front of you when you realize it wasn’t a chase between two children but rather two grown men.

“Exactly! I am your hyung! Stop making me do this shit, or the next time, I’ll throw up on you,” the smaller man responds, darting ahead of the larger one, the both of them running loops around the pretzel stand until the shorter one jumps over a nearby bench, hiding behind it. "I know you're fucking strong enough to lift me and force me into doing it, so for God's sake, just stop, Jungkook-ah. I'll let you talk to me informally for a whole month if you don't make me do this."

The bigger man yields, stopping, seemingly to catch his breath, only to burst into a fit of laughter instead when the smaller one marches over to him, playfully hitting him with a plushie and scolding him between his low giggles as well. The few people gathered around had looked away at that point, brushing it off once they’d realized it wasn’t an actual fight… except for you.

You couldn’t. The sound tugged at your heartstrings. That loud, unstoppable, joyous laugh unlike any you’d ever heard in your entire life. And now that the taller man stood still and you could finally take a good look at him. He was big, which you’d noticed immediately, with a frog-eyed headband that somehow stayed on his head throughout the chase, adorning his long locks. Laughing heartily, almost out of breath, the shorter man beside him jokingly punched at his huge muscles… which were decorated with a vibrant collage of tattoos.

Ki gasps right beside you. “Oh, isn’t he so your ty-”

“He is. He really fucking is….” you whisper, in awe of the huge man with the frog-eyed headband.

“Look, it’ll end in one of two ways - you either will or won’t go on a ride with... the man of your dreams. He’s the hottest guy we’ve seen so far, and… tattooed, jacked... A man but happy like a kid... Damn, is he your type… You can’t pass this up. Still, if he turns out to be an idiot and says no, just look for another one. There are thousands of people here, and his friend is really cute too. Maybe even better, actually, damn.”

The man was still laughing. It was adorable.

“No, no… I want the smiley boy who can’t stop laughing… The one with the stuffed animal in his hands and that cute little matching headband. And the camera strap around his neck. The happy boy, boo. You know I like happy boys.… He's per- I… I want him.”

“I can see it in your eyes, freak. But remember, he's just a man. No difference between him and the others... even though he really does look custom-made for you.”

Frozen in your spot, you watch the man’s laugh fade away into a wide, bunny-toothed smile. Good God.

“Go. Go, boo. Now.”

Ki, ever the flirt, does what she always does whenever either of you spots someone you might be interested in - pushing you slightly until you’ve no choice but to reach her planned destination for you. Turning back was never an option. You knew better - if you attempted it, she’d just drag you back herself. A mere couple of steps away, the reflexed confidence you’d felt bubbling up from similar nights she encouraged you quickly fades away when the man is right in front of you. Though you’d only been a short distance away, he was bigger, happier, louder, and much more attractive up close. He wasn't the most attractive man you'd seen that day but... in your entire life. And when he blinks in your direction, noticing your sudden presence, you finally come back to Earth.

“Hi. Uhm, hello. This is a bit weird, but would you like to go on this rollercoaster with me?” you ask in a rush, gesturing to the attraction right behind him. “I’m here with a friend who doesn’t like rides and…”

The man’s wide smile remained on his face. It was hard not to get distracted.

“…and I thought I’d ask someone who seemed fun, unlike her.”

“What made you think I was fun?” he asks, his tone serious, despite the smile on his face.

“Well… you're standing right in front of the ride, and that little chase you guys did. It was funny.... and cute.”

“Cute?” he asks, his eyebrows raised in shock. If you weren't mistaken, somehow, his smile grew even wider.

“Yeah,” you reply, sure your expression matched his. With a reaction like that... He was either down for it or would reject you kindly... What did you have to lose? "Yeah, cute."

“How did you know he’s not afraid?” his friend interrupted. You’d forgotten the shorter man’s entire existence.

“Oh well, I assumed. Hot guys aren’t afraid of rides.” It was a weird theory you held, in line with your type and your own dating and crush history. You almost regret blurting it out, but it only sends the man into another laughing fit while his friend glared at the both of you.

“Thank you… Thank you for that - he was getting a little too confident,” the tattooed man laughs.

“For the record - I don’t hate all rides, just heights. He forced me to go on that drop ride. I feel sick, and he wants me to go on another one! That’s why... that stupid chase and that ridiculous laugh of his. He’s laughing at his friend’s misery if that’s your definition of ‘fun’ too.”

“Oh, sorry. I meant no disrespect,” you laugh, seeing the shorter man angrily and adorably all riled up.

“No, don’t worry, we know,” the hot guy adds, wiping tears of laughter away from his face, and luckily, the shorter man concurs, waving it off with a smile.

"So I hear you wanted to go on that ride too?" you ask.

“I’d… I’d love to,” the man states. Now that he’s composed himself, you could make out the rosiness in his cheeks - the happy crinkles by his eyes remained. “I’d really love to go with you. God knows I need someone cool too.” He side-eyes his friend at the comment, fiddling with the stuffed frog toy in his hands before continuing. “But hyung's cowardice is not the only reason I want to... Maybe I’ll win you one of these too later?”

The shorter man rolls his eyes, playfully punching the stuffed frog. “You have a name, tough guy?”

“Oh, sorry,” the man replies, outstretching his hand when he finally looks back at you with that same sweet smile. “My name is Jungkook.” You shake his hand and introduce yourself, noticing how nice his also tattooed hand felt…

“And I’m Jimin,” the shorter man says snarkily before continuing on. “Didn’t you say you were here with a friend? Can we hang out and gossip about you while you both go on that death trap? It’ll be nice to hang out with a sane person. I promise we’ll pray for your survival too.”

“Yeah, she’s here, but… I don’t spot her. Let me text her.”

[to: ki-ttycat]: hoe where are you? hot guy is up for it. going now!!!! but his friend is here and wants to hang out with you.

[from: ki-ttycat] are you fr?? the cutie? omgggggggggggggg running.

[from: ki-ttycat] go go have fun make sure to ride him too later.

“She’s coming,” you say with a giggle, pointing towards Ki, who you spot darting towards you with a fresh bucket of popcorn in her hands.

“Oh wow,” Jimin says under his breath when he spots her. “Go, you two. I’m done with Jungkook, that’s for sure. Y/N, you take care. The both of you. Go on all the rides if you want. We - hopefully - won’t be waiting.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes before looking back at you with a smile.

“Shall we?”

[thefederationfiles]

Uh? Hello?

/click/

Cellbit

Uh, hello? I’m not really sure how to start this... suppose I should introduce myself first, I am Cellbit, the new head archivist of the Federation Census Bureau. Still not entirely sure how I landed this position, but I’m not going to refuse it, a promotions a promotion in my eyes.

I was allowed to pick some assistants to help me out, they didn’t really give me a limit on how many I could pick (that they told me about) but I’ve decide to pick three, from various departments within the federation itself. Roier, from exploration, Fit from the clean-up crew and, Etoiles from security, all pretty chill guys, though sometimes ONE of them can get on my nerves…

But I digress.

My predecessor, Bagi, was a very organised woman, and everything, though weirdly done, is actually rather ordered when you think about it for more than five seconds. However, I personally enjoy audio recordings, if find them easier to listen back to if research is needed. For some strange reason however my usual recording equipment wont work, so here we are! With an old tape recorder I found in the desk here.

Anyways, suppose I should start the recording of the actual statement…

On then!

Statement of Phil… no last name given, regarding how he met his wife. Original statement given 23rd of February, 1934. Audio recording by Cellbit, Head archivist of the Federation, Census Bureau, recorded 27th of October 2023, recording begins.

Now, I know what you’re thinking, why the fuck is HE of ALL people giving a statement, well, consider it a gift! Don’t get so annoyed mate, I only want to repair the relations between us, trust me, just let me tell you my story! It’s a good one.

I first met her when I had supposedly died, I know, very typical of her, but I was just another guy back then! Well, like any self-respecting gentleman, I introduced myself. To say she was confused was an understatement, turns out you’re not meant to be able to speak after death, you’re not even meant to be able to move! Personally, I like to say it was love at first sight, she says, she despised me at first sight. To be fair to her, I was a man who couldn’t die, and her a woman who fed on the dying wishes of men, but plenty of couples have WAY bigger fights when they first meet!

Well, she let me go, I mean she couldn’t really take me, I wasn’t dead. For some reason though, we kept on bumping into each other, always when we were working as well so we could never have a proper conversation. Annoying right? She had to properly prepare the person for consumption, and I always had to get rid of the body! Really hard to flirt when you’re picking up organs that have been thrown against the walls (very messy as well, had to burn that shirt, I liked that shirt…).

To be honest, I always knew that I wasn’t normal, I mean there’s plenty of circumstances I’ve been in where I should’ve died, plenty! I just thought I was a lucky guy, but well, when one survives a hanging, people start to question a bit too much, and well, to put it simply I had to go into hiding! It was rather lonely; I mean don’t get me! It was nice, I made friends with the local crows, they turned into my first murder actually!

Anyways, it was about 25 years or so into this when she visited me, turns out she’d been getting pretty lonely herself! And, well, apparently the other immortal people she knows kept on trying to either fight her or get her to join their own groups, which, just rude! That is not how you get a lady’s attention! So she came to visit since were both so connected with death!

Well, she kept on visiting and eventually I realised everyone who wanted me dead would’ve been dead, so I came out of hiding! That was about 45 years ago, we got married a couple years after and well, you guys know the rest! We started our own group, made a pact with one of the hunts avatars, gotten pretty powerful!

Also I’ve learnt about all the guys and all that, kinda hard not too when you have my job!

Come on now, that’s what you wanted right? A story? A peace offering? Well there you have it! Enjoy, I have a meeting to get too.

/click/

/click/

Well. That was certainly something, I found that statement in the drawers of this desk when I was looking for stationery and thought it a good place to start.

I guess you could say I’m in shock? I mean it really just reassured what I’d already known, I knew stuff existed, I kinda needed too…

Either way, kinda hard to get information on a statement that’s nearly 100 years old, Fit was able to get some information on some serial killings from the 1800’s that he reckons might be related, but I say it’s a bit of a stretch.

/sigh/

Well, better than nothing for the first one! I swear I also heard him talking about an old war buddy…

/click/

[just-dino-maggie]

Matt Boldy!! Man is thick and tall, I would climb him like a tree!!

Lmaoooo, I don’t know who said this but I Stan you. I’m not sure if this was a request but I’m writing something anyway lol. I hope you like it! (Sorry I literally always write in first person because I imagine myself as y/n lmaoo)

I’m not a small girl so I’ve always kinda been into bigger guys. Luckily for me, my boyfriend Matt is a big boy. 6’2 and pure muscle, what more can a girl ask for? I’ve never been a PDA person, it’s simply not for me but some days I feel like I can’t help it. In the beginning of my relationship with Matt I was strict. We were only allowed to hold hands in public, untill he started putting his hand on my thigh whenever we sat down at a restaurant or when we were in the car. How am I supposed to say no to something like that. A hand on my thigh went to hand kisses which lead to forehead kiss and now whenever he kisses me in public I feel like we are the only people in the world.

Tonight Matt has a home game so I’m going to watch him play, of course. It’s against the Flyers which isn’t a very good team, I’m hoping that Matt will get some good play time and maybe get a few points. During the game he gets 2 goals and an assist. A point on every goal. It’s genuinely the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. After the game I run down to the family area to go see him. When he finally comes out of the dressing room I practically sprint to him. Before even saying a word I press my lips to his. His hands land on my hips and mine tangle themselves in his hair. His so big, he’s bending down and I’m on my tip toes. He breaks apart for a moment to put his hands on the backs of my thighs. It’s his signal for me to jump, so I do. I wrap my legs around his waist and we continue with our small yet public makeout session.

My hands are in his hair and I’m practically trying to climb in his skin. I’m pushing my heels into his back trying desperately to get closer to him. After a few minutes of being lured into his trap I break away and rest my forehead on his. “You were amazing.”

“Why thank you.” He smirks holding me with no issue. He moves his hands to allow me to get down but I don’t.

“Can’t you just walk me to the car like this?”

He shifts me so that I’m on his back instead of his front. “Come on babe let’s go.” I lean in to kiss his neck and we make our way to the car.

[sugarstainzz]

Send this to a stay! Have them describe themselves and see who their followers would “Ship” them with in the group!

i had no clue if this was supposed to be a physical desc. or a personality one, so i just kinda went with both?? or like my aura?? idek what i'm like tbh so this was kinda hard. don't do me wrong, stay <3

- my hair is a super big part of me looking like myself. it’s super thick and long and curly and i spend a lot of time taking care of it  - i go through a lot of sunscreen because i refuse to wear hats in the sun - i want to collect smiskis but i’m too broke rn ㅠㅠ - i talk to myself all day every day. 80% of the time i’m muttering to myself about something- i just narrate my day at this point - i love cute things. key chains, plushies, stationary, kpop albums, aesthetic spotify playlists, cutesy cafes. they make my heart explode - i cackle when i laugh. i can’t hide that i find something funny i practically scream  - i have more than a slight addiction to caffeine and sugar - literally i have the biggest sweet tooth it’s causing me issues - i love sleeping on other people. they’re warm and comfortable and if i lie still on a guy for a minute too long i’m out like a light  - i have a really pouty face. if anything annoys me i have this dumb frown on my face and i can't hide it. it's gonna get me in trouble at work - i go on friend dates all the time. best way to spend my days off tbh  - i don’t work out but i play volleyball at open gyms and i think that count - jellyfish 💕  - sharks 💕💕 - my end goal for my career is being a really well-off author. i love drawing and writing (duh) and webtoon’s only getting bigger and bigger so i may as well  karaoke + hot pot + boba or sago = perfect date  - ironically i’m really shy abt sex or even the fact that i’m attracted to people. i don’t think i’ve ever been brave enough to initiate a kiss with someone  - i cook for people to show that i care about them. i’m bad at words but you literally can’t deny that i brought you japchae or lemon bars or something - i literally go into cardiac arrest when someone i’m attracted to does something. something like leaning over a table or rolling their sleeves up can make my head spin for hours - i like sitting on my fire escape at night and watch the clouds. i live in an area with a ton of light pollution so they turn purple in the dark. it’s nice

sorry if this wasn't the vibe. i thought this was a super cute ask tho and wanted to include things that i think make me the person i am

-sugar🤍

[fr3man]

All Too Well - Part 2

Ghostface was well and truly back. Sam and Tara didn’t even get to the police station straight away the previous night, they were nearly shot at the bodega. The group were now being as cautious as possible. Mindy’s version of ‘cautious’ was rounding off the suspects.

The group were now currently sat on the campus of Blackmore University, Mindy stood in front of everyone.

“Okay, nerds! Listen up! As terrifying as this all is, I’m actually glad I get a chance to redeem myself for not calling the killers last time... It’s fine. Okay. The way I see it, someone is out to make a sequel to the requel.”

Anika raises her hand.

“Um, what’s a requel?”

“You’re beautiful, sweetie. Let’s hold questions till the end.”

Anika smiled at her before Sam spoke up.

“Stab 1 took place in Woodsboro. Stab 2 took place in college.”

Tara looked towards Sam.

“So we think the killer is trying to copy the movies?”

Mindy pointed at Tara.

“That is one possibility. Heroes now in college: check. Suspicious new characters brought in to round out the suspect list and or body count: check, check and check.”

She pointed at Quinn, Anika and Ethan.

“I don’t like this.”

Ethan said before Molly gave him a pat on the shoulder.

“But it can’t just be about Stab 2.”

Mindy carried on.

“Why not?”

Tara’s eyebrows furrowed.

“It would make sense if this were just a sequel. But we’re not in a sequel, because nobody just makes sequels anymore… We’re in a franchise! And there are certain rules to a continuing franchise.

Sam, Anika and Molly sighed.

“I had a feeling.”

“Rule 1: everything is bigger than last time. Bigger budget, bigger cast, bigger body count. Longer chases, shootouts, beheadings. You gotta top what came before to keep people coming back.”

“Beheadings?”

Molly and Chad said in unison.

“Beheadings. Rule 2: whatever happened last time, expect the opposite. Franchises only survive by subverting expectations. If the killers last time were whiny snowflake film nerds with Letterboxd accounts instead of personalities, you bet the opposite will be true here.”

Nobody seemed to notice the face Ethan made when Mindy made a comment about Richie and Amber.

“And rule 3: no one is safe. Legacy characters? Cannon fodder at this point. Usually brought back only to be killed off in some cheap bid for nostalgia. It’s not looking too good for Gale and Kirby. Oh and that’s not even the worst part!”

Chad continues to write in his notebook.

“This is the part where she tells us the worst part.”

“The worst part is franchises are just continuing episodic instalments designed to boost an IP. Which means main characters are completely expendable now too. Laurie Strode, Nancy Thompson, Ellen Ripley, Sally Hardesty, Jigsaw, Tony Stark, James Bond - I mean even Luke Skywalker all died so their franchises could live on! That means it’s not just the friend group. Any of us could go at any time… especially Sam and Tara.”

Sam and Tara exchanged worried looks.

“Wait? Any of us?”

Everyone turned their heads to Ethan as he spoke.

“Yeah.”

“Am- am I in the friend group?”

“Yeah.”

“Am I like one of the targets?… At least I won’t die a virgin.”

The entire group gave him puzzled looks whereas Molly hit him on the arm.

“Babe, seriously?”

Mindy looked kinda grossed out.

“TMI, keep it in the bedroom. But it brings us to our current suspects.”

She stepped in front of Ethan.

“Ethan. The shy and dorky guy who no one suspects because he’s so shy and dorky.”

“Okay, why am I on the suspect list because I’m randomly Chad’s roommate?”

Ethan motions towards Chad defensively.

Mindy looks at him like he’s an idiot.

“Roommate lotteries can be juked, you could’ve fixed it to get next to us! And the fact that you just so happen to be interested in Molly?”

“Okay, what does Molly have to do with this?”

“Well, we all know how her last relationship turned out…”

Tara and Chad immediately jumped to her defence and everyone else seemed surprised at Mindy’s audacity.

“Mindy, seriously?”

Tara looked at her angrily.

Chad looked very irritated.

“Mindy, come on!”

Molly was staring daggers against her.

“Can you not bring up Amber?”

Mindy shrugged her shoulders.

“Whatever, I’m just saying… be careful…”

Molly furrowed her brows and felt a pit in her stomach.

Molly blocked out the rest of what Mindy said. What if she was right? What if Ethan was the killer? What if he betrays her just like Amber did? She tried to snap out of it and tell herself that he’d never do that but the voice at the back of her mind was telling her to never say never.

She was snapped out of her thoughts she. Sam spoke.

“Okay, so we have our rules and we have our suspects.”

“Wait, what about you guys?”

Ethan motioned with his hand to the 5 survivors.

“I mean, I think it’s pretty safe to rule out the 5 of us who went through this last year in Woodsboro.”

Chad smiled at Mindy.

“Agreed.”

Quinn shook her head.

“Not agreed. What if the trauma you all went through caused one or more of you to snap?”

Ethan agreed with Quinn.

“Yeah, or if the fame you got from the killings made you thirsty for more. I mean, let’s be honest here, some of the theories online about Sam are-“

Tara immediately cut him off.

“Don’t you fucking dare.”

Molly hit him in the arm again.

Anika tried to diffuse the situation.

“Okay, she’s right though. I mean face facts, if we’re all suspects - you’re all suspects.”

The 5 looked at each other worriedly.

Molly gets up from her seat.

“As much as I love discussing which of us I think is a murderer, I’m going home.”

Tara gets up from her seat.

“I’m coming too.”

Molly looked at Ethan.

“I’ll see you later.”

He nodded.

“See ya.”

The pair immediately walked off before anyone else even moved. Tara just knew something was wrong with Molly.

“You okay?”

Molly nodded her head.

“Mhm… just thinking about what Mindy said.”

“Just ignore her, alright?”

“No, Tara she’s got a point. It could easily be him.”

“But it also might not be him.”

“Let’s face it, he’s either the killer or he’s gonna get killed. That’s just how it works.”

Tara linked her arm in Molly’s.

“As long as we stick together as best we can, that should keep us all safe. And I’ll always be here for you.”

They looked at each other and smiled softly.

“Thanks, Tara. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

After a few seconds of silence, Molly spoke up again.

“Y’know, he really reminds me of Wes.”

Tara looked at her.

“Yeah?”

Molly nodded whilst holding back tears.

“Yeah. They have the same stupid smile.. and they’re really good at cheering you up. When I first met Ethan I just immediately felt like Wes had come back to me.”

Parts of Ethan made her think of Amber too - the way they’d both comfort her when she needed it, the way they’d let her vent about her dad, the fact they were both the first people she’d go to if anything happened, the way she thought of them as her entire world - but she couldn’t bring herself to talk about it.

Tara and Molly arrived back at their apartment and sat down on the couch together. Not long after, the sound of keys could be heard and Sam came in.

“Hey.. are you okay?”

The girls shrugged.

“I just really don’t want to go through this again.”

Tara put her arm around Molly.

Sam sat down on the couch with them.

“Hey, I promise I’ll do everything I can to protect you. To protect you all. Which reminds me, I’ve told everyone to stay over here tonight.”

“That’s a good idea - safety in numbers.”

“Exactly.”

Sam smiled at her.

“Everyone will be here in a little bit so it’ll just be us three until then. If you want, we could go to the store and buy some food so we can cook dinner later?”

Tara and Molly nodded.

“That sounds nice.”

Sam got up from the couch.

“Come on, we should go while it’s still daytime.”

A couple of hours go by. At this point, everyone is at the apartment… except Ethan. He told Chad and Molly that he had an econ class. What was so urgent about a college class with everything that was going on?

Molly didn’t like Ethan’s absence one bit - it was just making her more and more worried. Tara and Chad were the first to notice.

Molly went into the kitchen to get glasses for the dinner table. Tara and Chad were in the middle of cooking when she walked in and her entire demeanour was off. They exchanged a look before Tara put a hand on her shoulder.

“Hey. You okay?”

Molly nodded but her face remained emotionless.

“Yep, fine.”

Chad knew better of course.

“Dude, come on.We know when something is bothering you.”

“I said I’m fine, Chad.”

“We know there’s a lot going on and I know you’re probably worrying because Ethan isn’t here-”

“Chad. Look, I appreciate it but I’m fine, alright?”

Chad and Tara looked at each other again before looking at her again.

“We’re here if you want to talk, okay?”

Tara’s voice was full of genuine care and concern.

“Thanks…”

She left the kitchen and placed the glasses on the table.

Mindy and Molly entered the kitchen a couple of minutes later.

“Sam!”

Mindy called her into the kitchen.

“Yeah?”

“We do not have to stay here.”

“Well, too bad. I insist. Safety in numbers.”

Chad had a big smile on his face.

“This’ll be so fun. A little slumber party with the Alive Five!”

Sam furrowed her brows.

“Alive Five?”

“Yeah.”

“The fucking what?”

Molly looked at him with a very confused expression.

Tara looked at him in slight disbelief.

“Did you just give us a nickname?”

“I sure did. We’ve been through a lot together, and it’s a pretty cool nickname.”

Molly and Mindy just looked at him like he was stupid.

“That’s debatable.”

Sam looked down at the floor, holding in a laugh.

“It’s extremely debatable.”

“You can’t just give yourself a nickname, dingus.”

Mindy smiled mischievously.

“Of course I can, dingus, because I just did. Alive Five, up top!”

He lifted his arm, waiting for a high five.

Mindy shook her head.

“No.”

He turned to Tara.

“Down low!”

“Get that away from me.”

He then turned to Molly.

“Come on!”

“Fuck off.”

He finally turned to Sam.

“Please, for the love of God!”

Sam was smiling and it was clear she was tempted.

“Don’t do it!”

Mindy begged Sam not to go along with his bullshit.

Everyone was on the verge of laughing.

“Y’know, I would actually like a little more respect and support from my fellow members of the Alive Five.”

Their attention was then turned to Anika when she shouted them.

“Guys! What the hell?”

She turned up the volume on the TV and everyone went into the living room.

The news headline read ‘PRIME SUSPECT SAMANTHA CARPENTER’.

“We’re hearing from sources inside the homocide division that the prime suspect is none other than Samantha Carpenter, one of the survivors of the Woodsboro killings in 2022, seen here attacking a woman on the streets last night.”

It then showed a video of her ‘attacking’ the girl who approached them after the Halloween party.

“In the wake of the Woodsboro tragedy last year, rumours sprouted online that Carpenter was responsible for the killings, blaming the crimes on her boyfriend, Richie Kirsch and teen Amber Free-”

Sam grabbed the remote and turned the TV off. She walked into the dining room and sat at the table, looking downwards.

Tara cautiously followed her and sat down next to her.

“I know you’re not a fan of the way I’ve been handling things, and that I’ve been giving you a really hard time. But I can say that none of us can relate to what you’re experiencing. And I’m really, really sorry that you have to do that alone.”

The twins, Molly and Anika listened to what Tara was saying to her sister and they were all relieved that Tara was finally getting along with her compared to recently.

Sam shook her head whilst holding back tears.

“It’s not your fault. And I know I shouldn’t care what people think.”

She pauses for a second and wipes a tear of her face.

“It just sucks being this hated.”

The twins and Molly then walked in.

“Hey. Just a reminder, not a single person in this room hates you.”

Chad said as the three of them sat down.

“Okay? We have all been through some fucked-up stuff, and we are coping with it differently. But, I mean we moved here together for one very specific reason… We’re a team.”

Sam smiled at Chad’s words.

“We are the Alive fuckin’ Five.”

Mindy smiled as she said this.

Chad turned his head.

“Thank you very much.”

“I hate myself.”

The twins exchanged a high five and Molly quietly laughed.

“You said it.”

Tara was smiling a lot, as was Sam.

Chad looked so proud.

“That’s what I’m talking about. It’s the Alive Five.”

Mindy looked at Tara.

“Say it.”

“No, I’m not gonna say it.“

“Molly, come on you say it.”

She laughed and shook her head.

“Definitely not.”

Chad tried to convince her.

“Come on, it’s got a nice ring to it.”

Sam suddenly spoke.

“I’ve been sleeping with Cute Boy from across the hall.”

The group went silent before they erupted into cheers.

“I fucking knew it!”

Tara clapped her hands together.

Sam looked confused.

“Yes! Chad, give it, come on!”

Chad rolled his eyes whilst smiling and handed Molly $20.

“Knew it from the day you had that hickey.”

Mindy’s comment made the group laugh.

“I feel like we should high five or something.”

Chad held his hand towards and the group all joined hands.

“The Alive Five high five, may we please?”

Tara laughed.

“Don’t call it that but we’ll do the high five.”

Sam’s phone started ringing and Danny’s name was lit up on the screen.

Tara’s face lit up and she held the phone up.

“No, Tara.”

Sam was holding in a laugh.

“Hey, so what are your intentions?”

The group burst into laughter.

“Tara, give it here.”

Tara went to pass it to Molly, the pair of them laughing, before Sam took it back.

“It’s fine. I’ll call him back.”

“Poor guy.”

The sound of Quinn moaning could be heard. Not like it was an unfamiliar sound.

“Oh my god, Quinn and her gentlemen called are back at it again.”

The group looked towards Quinn’s bedroom door.

“She’s getting it too? Okay.”

The group were still laughing.

Quinn’s moaning got heavier and at the same time everyone’s phones went off.

They all got their phones out to take a look. Danny had air-dropped them all a picture. It was of Quinn. Getting attacked by Ghostface.

The sound of Quinn shouting for help was then heard.

The group sprung from their seats and ran to the living room. Anika sprung up from the couch to see what was going on.

Quinn then screamed. Tara ran towards Quinn’s room before Chad pulled her back.

“Tara, wait!”

Not a sound could be heard. The group waited for any kind of noise but there was still nothing.

“Run.”

Quinn’s door burst open and Quinn’s dead body was thrown at the group, landing on Anika and pushing her on the ground.

Anika screamed in terror.

Sam and Molly got on the ground to pull her off.

Chad pulled Tara with him as he ran out the apartment.

“Guys, come on!”

Ghostface stood there and tilted his head, looking at Mindy.

“Oh, fuck.”

He sliced her in the arm with his knife.

She threw herself back in pain, holding her arm.

“Mindy!”

Anika grabbed onto his cloak as he tried to move towards Mindy again.

“Stay the fuck back!”

Molly quickly stood up and tried to pull him backwards. He immediately grabbed her and threw her to the floor and she hit her head on the ground. She held her head in pain, trying to get herself up but by the time she was in a state where she could, Anika was at the other end of the room and Ghostface was dragging a knife through her stomach and she was screaming in agony.

She quickly stood up but before she could get to them Sam came in and hit him in the head with an empty knife block. He fell on the ground, giving the girls enough time to run into Quinn’s room and lock the door.

Ghostface then started pounding on the door before it all went quiet.

Sam looked behind them and saw the bathroom door was still open.

“Molly. Bathroom door, hurry!”

She got up and went into the bathroom but stopped in her tracks and screamed when she saw Quinn’s boyfriend dead in the shower.

“Fuck!”

She then looked up and saw Ghostface standing in the doorframe and screamed again. She tried to shut the door but he kept pushing it open. Sam ran in the bathroom to pull her out and back into Quinn’s room.

They locked the door but he just kept pounding and pounding on it. He was strong so the lock kept unlocking. They pushed a dresser in front of it but it then got pushed backwards due to a hard kick to the door.

Sam and Molly stood with their backs against it to keep him out. Sam then saw Danny out the window, trying to get their attention. She ran to the window and opened it.

“Don’t worry, I got you!”

He pushed a ladder out his window.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“You got a better idea?”

“Fuck. No.”

She reached her hand out and pulled the ladder so it reached them.

“You gotta come one a time!”

Sam turned to the girls.

“You three go first!”

“No!”

Molly and Mindy were pressed against the dresser but they were still struggling.

“Guys!”

“Someone needs to hold the door, we’ll send Anika next. Go!”

Sam looked hesitant.

“Go!”

The girls said in unison.

Sam got onto the ladder and started crawling towards Danny’s window.

Mindy and Molly were still trying to keep the dresser against the door.

“Sam, she’s losing a lot of blood!”

“Say something more positive!”

Sam managed to get across and then the sound of Danny and Sam could be heard.

“Come on!”

Mindy looked towards Molly.

“Molly, go!”

“No!”

“Molly-”

“You’re injured, I’m not. I can hold the door. Get Anika on the ladder, then both of you go.”

She hesitated and then moved towards Anika and helped her off the bed.

“You have to go first-”

“I can’t!”

“You have to go!”

“No, Mindy no! I’ll be right behind you, I promise!”

They kissed before Mindy reluctantly got onto the ladder.

As Mindy struggled to make her away across, Ghostface kept pounding on the door. Molly and Anika kept yelling for her to go.

Mindy made her way to Danny’s apartment.

“Guys, come on!”

“Anika, go.”

“What?! No, I’m not leaving you!”

“Anika, go! I’ll be fine, I promise!”

The others continued to shout.

“Guys, come on! Hurry!”

Ghostface pounded on the door even harder.

Molly tried not to cry.

“Ani, please!”

Anika looked at her tearfully before getting on the ladder.

“Oh my god… I can’t! I can’t do it!”

Ghostface is slowly getting the door more and more open.

“Anika, go! Quick!”

Molly is struggling more and more to keep the door shut.

He bangs on the door which prys it open, pushing Molly forward roughly. She tries to push it back again.

“Fuck…”

She looked to see how far Anika had gotten, which sadly wasn’t very far due to her gutted stomach.

Ghostface manages to bang on the door enough so the cabinet is knocked forward causing Molly to fall to the floor.

“No!”

Ghostface approaches Molly and she tries to keep them away. Ghostface grabs her by the neck, lifts her up and shoves her onto Quinn’s bed.

Everyone is terrified for Molly and Anika’s safety.

“No! Molly!”

“Anika, move!”

Molly tries to block him so he’d be at least injured to give Anika more time.

Ghostface slashed her hand and she screams in pain.

Molly’s scream only slows Anika down.

He lifts Molly off the bed and slams her head into the cabinet, knocking her out and leaving her for dead.

By the time she woke up, she was in an ambulance. She tried to lift her head up but winced in pain. She noticed the bandage wrapped around her hand. The group immediately got to her side.

“Molly! Hey, you okay?”

She could hear Chad’s voice but her ears were ringing.

She looked around to make sure everyone was there and okay. She saw Danny, Sam, Tara, Chad, Mindy… her heart almost stopped when she didn’t see Anika.

“Where’s Anika?”

Mindy was distraught.

“She’s dead, isn’t she?”

The group all nodded.

“Oh my god…”

She put a hand on her stomach.

“Oh my god, Anika…”

She looked at Mindy.

“Mindy, I’m so, so sorry.”

She got up from the stretcher and sat down next to her. She put her head on Mindy’s shoulder.

“I’m so sorry, Mindy. I tried to help her but I just let her fucking die.”

She broke down crying as she said this.

“Hey. Hey, it’s not your fault, okay?”

She wrapped her arm around her shoulders.

Chad and Tara sat down with them.

“She’s right, Molly. Don’t blame yourself.”

Chad put his hand on her arm.

Tara grabbed her hand.

“You put yourself at risk just to protect her, you did the best you could, alright?”

“I didn’t do the best I could because she’s fucking dead.”

Tara was taken aback when she snapped.

“Sorry, I’m sorry Tara.”

She shook her head.

“Don’t be.”

Sam put a hand on her shoulder.

“I’ve got you some water.”

She handed her a water bottle.

Molly sniffled.

“Thank you.”

The group ended up spending the night at Danny’s apartment whilst the police inspected their apartment, not that any of them could really sleep properly anyway.

The only thing Molly could think about was where the fuck Ethan was.

[obsoleteozymandias]

Hello, hello! May I request a matchup for Stardew Valley please? I use she/her pronouns and am more interested in the bachelors. I'm 5'7", Virgo, ISFP, and a night owl. I have dark brown eyes and the same color for my hair which is shoulder-length which I like to keep tied into a tucked-in bun. My hobbies include drawing, playing video games, watching anime/films, and listening to horror fiction podcasts. I also used to keep a dream diary which would serve as creative inspirations.

I initially tend to be quiet and reserved but once I get acquainted with someone, I am actually quite open and can ramble on and on about certain subjects. Even so, if I am in a group, I'll mostly stay quiet. Because I'm more of a listener and can be quite understanding and honest with others, I think that's why friends often confide in me and I try my best to offer advice and consolation even though I personally am not great with words and am terrified of accidentally offending others. Despite this, I can curse like a sailor if I am annoyed (and I'm usually patient so if I'm ticked off, I'm go off like a bomb).

I am not an active person at all nor do I have enough stamina. Like if I go out somewhere and come back home, even for a simple errand, that is it, I need to stay in and recharge for the rest of the day. I dislike crowded areas so I actually prefer to stay in during weekends and chill. Other major flaws I have is that I keep seeking valdiation from others and am lack self-confidence. Sometimes I can be self-conscious and sometimes I'm just tired and don't give a crap. My work & sleep schedule and balance is all over the place especially because once I start working on something that I'm really immersed in, it's hard for me to give myself a break until it's done.

Some favorites and more preferences.. Even though I should be more compatible with cats, I adore dogs, especially the bigger breeds (but I still like cats too!). My favorite season is autumn (jacket & hoodie season! apple cider & pie! and Halloween!!) while least favorite is summer (I hate HATE humidity & mosquitos are my archnemesis). I like all sorts of foods but I gravitate towards cheesy, spicy foods and noodles (must have pickled side dishes). I am very selective with seafood and am not much of a drinker (though I will occasionally enjoy beer especially when paired with fried chicken). My favorite flower in the game is the fairy rose because it looks similar to my actual fave flower ranunculus. My ideal date would either be staying in with a dinner & movie or a peaceful afternoon walk at a park or alongside a riverbank.

Thank you for taking your time to read through this!

I’m a matchup-pilled request-maxxer

== Stardew Valley ==>

I match you up with…

Harvey

Harvey and you get along like a house on fire, kinda in a ‘love at first sight’ way. He’s immediately enamoured with you. 

I imagine you may visit him often due to your lack of energy, and he’s quick to give you an energy tonic, or encourage you to rest a bit on the cots. 

Then he tells you to go rest upstairs…in this apartment. 

And one time he comes back to find you asleep on his couch, your face glowing in the sunset…and he’s absolutely head over heels. 

Harvey’s passion for radio and planes matches well with your ability to listen. He’s embarrassed to talk about it at first, but he is so quick to feel comfortable around you that it’s forgotten soon after. 

The way you nod along and listen to him when he rambles has him a blushing mess. 

Park dates and watching movies together with this guy are soooo cute. He loves to tell you all about nature and the body as you two walk along hand in hand, and he’ll lean onto you as you watch a movie, entwining your hands and kissing your cheek. 

I imagine Harvey is the kind of guy who wants to help you just as you’ve helped him. If you help him overcome his fear of heights, then he’ll help you with your self esteem, especially if it means telling you he loves you and coating your face with kisses in the morning. 

[kaycode1999]

hi!! can i please request a demon slayer matchup? i’m bisexual & use she/her pronouns :)

for my personality, id say im pretty bubbly and excitable. i’m an isfj & cancer, & i try to look on the bright side and try to listen to/help when they’re sad. im very affectionate with the people im close to, and i tend to cling onto my friends arms and hug them a lot. i love anything soft or cute, especially animals!! im kinda scared of bugs though, but i still always try to take them outside. i get distracted pretty easily, and have a hard time dealing with change. i tend to be a bit bossy and unreasonable when it comes to something i’m interested in. plus i get really moody and irrational sometimes when it comes to something i want (im very stubborn lol). i also really like going for walks, shopping, yoga, gardening, baking (even though i’m dreadfully awful at it), and reading. i try to see the best in everything & everyone, though i can’t really tolerate it if somebody is overly cruel or rude to the people i care about. i have a very “do no harm, take no shit” mentality :)

for my appearance, im 5’1 & have fairly long light brown hair. my eyes are hazel, im fairly pale with a few freckles sitting across my face, & my cheeks are perpetually rosy andjfjjek. my style ranges from pretty soft and girly to a wannabe skater boy (i love the style but alas, it does not love me </3). i really like dressing up even if i’m not going anywhere. i also really like to do makeup, both on myself and others. also since i’m on the shorter side, i like to wear platform shoes since being tall makes me feel cool!

please and thank you!! have a nice day <3

I match you with

Giyu Tomioka

Grumpy/serious x sunshine with you two and it's very cute

In his eyes you're this beautiful ray of sunshine that he has to protect because you're so sweet

If you cling onto him it will actually make him melt

His fellow Hashira actually tease him about it (good-naturedly of course), because ever since he got together with you he often has this dopey smile on his face

He can't say no to you especially if something will make you happy, so whatever cute and soft things you want its yours and however many you want

He's seen and been through a lot worse than bugs so he has no problem getting rid of bugs for you. Actually, he thinks it's adorable that you're scared of a little bug when you're way bigger than it

He finds it kind of cute when you get distracted, for example if you’re out shopping he ends up dragging you back to the task or what you were looking at before like a parent with a child “ Thats nice honey, lets get back to the shopping ok?”. But always loving and with a fond smile on his face

Speaking of shopping, no only does he spoil you but he will carry everything for you

He gives me the vibe of that one post where someone was in a bookstore and saw a guy holding a few books when his girlfriend/wife kept bringing books over for him to hold and when the person had looked at him he said she could buy the whole store and he’d still carry it for her *naturally I can't find it as soon as I need it😭😭 but if I find it I will add it*

I think everyone to some extent can struggle with change, so he understands why you don't like it. Whatever help you need to get through it or deal with it he's there 💯

He knows you well enough to know how to navigate your bossy and unreasonable side

Going on walks together makes a cute date idea or just a nice way to spend time together

He just loves spending time with you so whatever makes you happy

I think he's actually fairly good at cooking/baking so maybe if you do it together it will end up well, and you get to spend time together so win win

He enjoys reading too, and I just love the idea of comfortably resting and just enjoying each others company in peace while reading

He adores the fact that you try to see the best in everyone and wishes he was like that too

If you don't like overly rude and cruel people I can see you getting up in Sanemi’s face or going after him when he's rude to Giyu and Giyu has to pick you and keep you in his arms to keep you from doing that

He will let you practice makeup on him but if he has to meet with his fellow hashira it has to come off😂

He loves your height and your freckles, and he still thinks its so precious that even if you wear heels you're still shorter than him

[korraofthereef]

this is a rant.

gosh I have a huge crush on this guy in my only in-person class. he’s beefy but in the ‘i got bulk on my big muscles’ kinda way, and it just makes your mouth water. I know he doesn’t have a girlfriend bc him and his one friend sit DIRECTLY behind me and talk very loud about shit that sometimes I’d rather not hear of hahahahahahahahahahahahah

he also wears glasses and I got a huge thing for glasses.

I guess my problem is that we’ve never had a conversation before and he doesn’t really care for my existence. also, I’m not the skinniest so that’s why I think I have a thing for the bigger (more beefy muscly) guys… but like I’m not too big, I weigh 185. I don’t think I’d be his type, especially for a guy who looks like he takes care of himself.

don’t get me wrong! I 100% take care of myself, now more than ever because I’m losing weight.

someone just please tell me what I should do 😭 a conversation is not something that we can just start out of nowhere… something has to build up to it..?

the hardest part of uni isn’t even the work istg

[white-collar-cannibal]

matching coming out agonies for sneeg and charlie >:) (disclaimer! i am cisgender (basically) so i don't have an first-person perspective on being trans. please lmk if i fuck up.)

While Ranboo is reading on the couch, Charlie walks into the room with a palpable nervous energy. “Hey can- Can I talk to you about it- the- the gender thing? I don’t want to be weird I just-“

“Yeah, you’re fine.”

“How- like, how did you know?”

They pause for a moment, “I- I wasn’t happy being a guy. I wasn’t unhappy, I just- I was just there. And I thought about it for a bit, whether or not I was a boy or a girl, and I realized that I felt like I just wanted to be. Like, if gender is a hallway that splits in two, I was trying to figure out left or right, but I really just wanted to turn around. I just… followed the joy.” Charlie nods a couple times. “Why’d you ask? Just curious or? I guess you wouldn’t hear a lot about it in Showfall.”

“Yeah I-“ Deep breath. “I figured you would know more because of everything, and Sneeg and I were- we don’t really know, and- I thought it was just because I was like, stunted or whatever, stuck as a kid, or because of Showfall’s, you know, their everything. But it’s happening out here too, and with people who treat me like an adult and I’m fine with that, you know, it’s just-.” Charlie pauses, takes a deep breath, worries at a fingernail. “I get… scared when someone calls me a man.” Ranboo sits up, snaps to attention. “It’s not- Boy and dude and guy are all fine but- but man feels like a threat. I’m never gonna get man right, and there’s consequences to that.”

Ranboo purses their lips together, “Well, I guess you know, cause you asked me, but- you don’t have to be a man. There’s options.”

“It’s… God, it’s terrifying”

“Yeah. Of course.”

“I, like, I almost don’t want- I wish I could be fine with it. Like I could just be fine and good being called a man, being- being a man? In general? And I think, like you said- I think I- fuck- I think I was just there. When I was a boy. Cause like, under Showfall there wasn’t really- being a boy was just not being a girl. It was just being there. It didn’t even feel gendered, it was just there. But I’m out here now, and there’s all of these other things to being a man or boy or guy- being male. And I think I could live with it, but I don’t think I want to.”

“Well, where do you think you’d be happy?”

“I- fuck- I feel like if I say it, I’ll never be able to unsay it. I’ll open a faucet I can’t shut.”

“Better out than in. You put all your feelings in a box and it’ll kill you. Please, please, don’t do that.” 

“Yeah, okay. Okay. I- I think I would be happier- I would- I think I want to be a girl- a woman.”

Ranboo squeezes Charlie’s hand reassuringly. “That’s all you gotta say.”

“No, I- I’m scared I’m not gonna get girl or woman right either, and then that’ll be worse than just being a guy, like, because it’s not gonna kill me to be a guy, I’d be better off here, because if I tried to be a girl, I’d notice everything that wasn’t right about me. Then all of those things- they’d have weight, and they’d crush me.”

Ranboo scrunches their eyebrows together. “Do you notice those things now?”

“I don- Maybe- I-. When I see my reflection, it’s not just me, it’s also Charles Slimecicle from Showfall Media. If I changed how I looked- went on hormones or something- it wouldn’t be him and I’d just be looking at me, and I’d have to judge myself for myself.”

“You feel like you look in the mirror and see a man that isn’t you? Charlie, I think if you tried to stay like this, it’d still crush you” 

“No it’s not just- it’s kinda of self-evident that I’m not the person they tried to make me to be. I’m bigger than the persona they made for me. So even if I was- oh God, if I was a man, what the fuck- I’d still feel like there was this other version of me layered over me- wearing my face.”

“Charlie. You’re looking at your own face and you’re seeing someone who isn’t you. This isn’t even- I know it’s not just a gender thing, but I still think you need to do something about that. You have to know that you’re a whole person and that’s not gonna happen if you feel like Charles Slimecicle is wearing your face.”

“That’s - I”

“Sorry. I know it’s- I was doing too much there. You’re, you can do whatever you want I just- I just think that it wouldn’t be easy to be a guy if you feel like this. I think all of those things you might feel bad about will still build up. Or you’ll get stuck in seeing yourself as him, and you’ll end up disconnected from reality.“

“No, I think you’re right. It’s just- it’s just so much. 

“I know. God, trust me, I know. But you’ve got us, and we’ll do literally anything for you.”

“I know. I get it. Okay. Give me a second.” Charlie takes a deep breath. “Hi. My name’s Charlie, and my pronouns are- are she/her.”

“It’s so good to meet you, Charlie.” and she’s crying, so much, and doesn’t even know if it’s because she’s happy or sad or scared or whatever, but Ranboo’s holding her and she’s holding them back, and maybe the faucet won’t even shut again, but she’s surrounded by love and she’ll stay afloat if it kills her.