jinkookspencil

[jinkookspencil]

JIN IS BACK 🥹

[jinkookspencil]

always strong enough | jjk

something kept knawing at you... the thought that jungkook always wanted to recreate a kiss scene from one of his favorite romcoms...

tags/note: jungkook x chubby / plus size / curvy reader (f) / fluff / established relationship (they were friends to lovers!)

wc: ~1.5k words

description/note: this fic is based on that one time jk said he wanted to recreate the kissing scene in the film love 911 - in that kiss scene, the male lead carries the female lead and they kiss that way. as a big girl myself i always felt a bit sad about kisses like that knowing how unlikely it'll be that a man will be able to carry me... so this is all where this fic came from, but hey, i guess we gotta remind ourselves that strong men like jk exist right? / that being said, it's not mentioned that yn is insecure but she shares that same fear / no mentions of idol life, this jungkook can be whatever you want him to be / they're in the kitchen and mention that they each cook but there is no other mention of food / jin version available to read here!

Jungkook was kissing you.

You were kissing him.

It wasn’t your first kiss, of course, nor your first time being intimate together…

But all of it was still extremely unbelievable.

How your friendship took a sharp turn after an accidental confession. The fact that he’d been feeling the exact same way and you’d been oblivious to all his subtle hints. That your wildest daydream of feeling him, kissing him, having him… was now an everyday act.

Right now, he had you leaning against the kitchen wall - his lips on yours with brief pecks and bites on your neck in between, his fingers fiddling with the hem of your shirt and tickling beneath it while his other hand wanders from your hips, where it’d been rubbing and holding… and his muscled thigh ached between your plush ones.

It was good. It was really good… too good to be true, perhaps, you thought. As wonderfully unbelievable as it all was…something kept gnawing at you. Well, something besides that and Jungkook’s tugging and biting.

And he was beginning to notice.

“Baby, you’re not yourself,” he murmurs, stroking your chin as he pulls away from your lips. “What’s on your mind?”

“It’s nothing.” An obvious lie and a lame attempt at concealing the truth. Of course there was something. Of course he could tell. Of course you’d tell him what it is…. if only it wasn’t so goddamn embarrassing. “Just kiss me.”

He does, for a moment, only to pull away once again and properly sit beside you, his lips still in a pout. “Baby, I need you to tell me the truth. I feel it when we kiss… Are you…. Are you not into this anymore? Me? Us? Is this starting to feel weird?”

“Not at all,” you protest softly, pecking his lips in the same fashion. “I’m so happy…”

“If that’s true, I’m glad… I’m happy too,” he says, the back of his index finger grazing your cheek. “So don’t lie to me and say ‘it’s nothing’ because I know it isn’t nothing since.. well, since I know you. I know there’s something really bothering you, hun. I sensed it a couple days ago over breakfast… you always add too much hot sauce to your food when you’re stressed… and even I couldn’t handle how spicy your cooking’s been lately…”

“…Wuss..” you mutter jokingly, avoiding Jungkook’s gaze.

“Oh yeah? We’ll see who’s talking when you’re all relaxed and unassuming, and I’ll add my normal level of Buldak sauce to the recipe.” Jungkook smiles when you finally giggle at the thought, his hands now rubbing at your soft hips. “Whatever’s going on… whenever you want to talk about it… I just want to let you know that I’m here, okay? And that I love you no matter what. I always will.”

It’s hard to face Jungkook, but it’s even harder to hold back your tears.

“Hey, hey…” he whispers, cupping your face and using his thumbs to wipe away the wetness on your face. Jungkook bends down to kiss your lips and the tip of your nose before pulling your head against his chest, allowing you to sob into it and his embrace. “Honey….”

“I remembered something,” you blurt.

“What?” he asks, pulling away to cup your head and purposefully face him - he wasn’t letting you face away, not now. Not when you started to open up, and he’d been too lost in his worries to catch what you’d said.

“I remembered something…”

“What is it?”

“I can’t get this memory out of my head… and I’m at the precipice of a dark spiral, Jungkook… I think I’ve been here all along; I just didn’t want to admit it. I don’t want to speak all this into existence. Gosh…” The tears flow more rapidly now to match your racing heart. There was no hiding anymore.

“I… caught you at the perfect moment then, my love. Count on me to do that, hmm? Deep breath, baby, come on.” Jungkook demonstrates, forcing you into the anxiety-calming breathing technique he’d mastered and memorized. He only speaks minutes later when he’s finally assured you’re calmer. “Let’s start slow, okay? What did you remember?”

“Months ago,” you begin, swallowing your fear, “before we were, you know, a thing…. We were watching that movie you love so much? Love 911? Do you remember what you said at the very end?”

“… Love 911? I must’ve said that I liked that kiss scene?” Jungkook asks, his brows raised in confusion and intrigue.

“Yes! Yes… and…” You pause. There was no going back now. “You didn’t just say that you liked the kiss. You said you wanted to recreate it with your future girlfriend. Well, I’m your future girlfriend. And I feel so… horrible that I can’t make that a reality for you. I can’t help but think that maybe-“

“Wait, wait, wait… I don’t even want you to finish that thought. Why can’t we make that kiss a reality?”

“Jungkook, don’t make me spell it out. This is embarrassing enough…” you croak.

“What? You think I can’t lift you up like that?”

“Well, yeah…” you blurt, finally looking at your boyfriend and the offended expression on his face. “I know you’re strong, but come on. And it’s not only that - it made me think that, what if, because of my size - you won’t be able to do all that you want to… I know how limiting my own weight is, and I… I hate to impose that on you.”

Jungkook takes a deep breath, shaking his head before lowering it to your level. “My love, my honey, my life…. Impose?! You?! Never… Never.” In emphasis, he wides his eyes and cups your face once again until you meet his eyes. “Heard me? Never, okay? Plus, do you think muscles are just decorative? I most definitely can lift you up - don’t doubt me or yourself ever again.”

You exhale, but it wasn’t enough for Jungkook - you’d usually laugh at a comment such as that. It was time for him to confess as well… “Honey… my sweet, smart, but sometimes stupid girl… Me saying that I wanted to recreate the kiss was one of my ‘hints’. I was flirting. I was seconds away from asking to lift you up then and there. Gosh, I should’ve… we probably would’ve been together sooner…”

You watch Jungkook shake his head, disappointed with himself and partly shy, before casting his thoughts aside and rubbing your arms.

“Come on… why are you crying?” he chuckles, holding your hand while cupping your face with the other, ready to wipe the first few tears that fall from your eyes. “You were so worried about us not being able to recreate the scene, and now you have me quoting it as well.”

Jungkook places a quick kiss on your forehead.

“There’s always a way. With me? You bet I’ll find it. Please don’t let your beautiful body stop you from doing what you want… I won’t let it stop me.”

He tilts his head to kiss you quickly, once on your lips and then on your cheek, and when he pulls away, a wide smile is on his face. Just as your heart settled, it raced in a flash. Before you’d even realized it was happening, Jungkook’s arms were around your thighs, and he’d swiftly lifted you up. You yell out his name, grabbing onto his shoulders in fear, all while he looks up at you adoringly. Your panic subsided after a good minute had passed, and you noticed that your boyfriend showed no signs of struggle. None at all.

“I’m offended you thought we couldn’t do this. That I couldn’t do this,” he says, still smiling as he steps around in a circle.

Bending down, you kiss Jungkook deeply, feeling through his hair and pushing him closer to you with your hands at the back of his head. His kiss is eager, hard to break away from, or cut short. Just when you pull away for air, his lips are on you again - if not on yours, on your neck, your clavicle, anywhere he could reach. He groans when you try to slide down and away from his body.

“Happy?” you ask hesitantly, your boyfriend still kissing your skin. “I hope this is… how you imagined it.”

Jungkook breaks away for the first time, staring up at you with swollen lips and a giddy smile, his gaze as soft as ever. “It’s a million times better.”

You’re finally able to return a smile, your hands gripping your boyfriend’s shoulders.

“So what do you say… strong enough?”

“Always, apparently,” you tease, rolling your eyes at the perfect man you were lucky enough to call yours.

[jinkookspencil]

240215 - calvin klein on tiktok

[jinkookspencil]

i got you | ksj

back from his service, jin tests out his strength and a theory of his

tags/note: jin x chubby / plus size / curvy reader (f) / fluff + suggestive / established relationship (they're engaged!) / low-key seokjin has soft-dom loving energy here but it doesn't get that steamy

wc: ~1.3k words

description/note: just domestic fluff in the kitchen / spoiler alert for jin's theory: he's sure he can carry his fiance and wants to try it out / no mentions of insecurity on yn's part, she just doubts jin can actually do it / intended with a plus sized woman in mind, but i think you can read and relate even if that doesn't apply to you? as long as you have any doubts that jin can carry you lol / no mentions of idol life, this jin can be whatever you want him to be / they're in the kitchen and jin had been cooking but no other mention of food / i actually wrote a jk version of this first but i will post that second - very soon, it's basically done! i have such a thing for fics based around jin's return i miss him yall / i shared an update post recently detailing where i've been and how i'll be with this blog moving forward! /also, happy valentine's day, here's a lil love from me and jin to my fellow chubby/curvy/plus-sized beauties!! <3 again, jk version coming very sooooooon! / update: jk version available to read here!

The clang of pots and pangs echoing through your apartment warmed your heart. It was an irritating sound when heard regularly, of course, but considering how long it’s been since you’d had your fiance messing about in the kitchen… it was more than welcome. Following the noise, you find Seokjin with his back turned to you, cleaning his used kitchenware and cutlery in the sink and quietly humming a tune. You cursed yourself for not peeking in earlier just to see the man in action - it always was a turn-on seeing Seokjin’s dedicated, sweaty, albeit chaotic cooking. This still did something, though. Hopping onto the freshly cleaned marble-topped kitchen island, you take it all in: the faint smell of something delicious in the oven, the sound of the gushing tap water, more clangs of metal on metal, but you really focus on the man that stood before you. Your man. His adorable growing hair was too short to be long, too awkward to be short. His broad shoulders and new muscles now pressed through his tee instead of his bones. His silver singing voice, even as a gentle whisper, which you hadn’t realized abruptly stopped.

“Drink it in. I’m enjoying this just as much as you are.”

You wonder what gave it away. The sound of your footsteps, the ruffle of your pajama fabric, or perhaps an admiring sigh you hadn’t noticed escaped you. It didn’t matter. You were enjoying the view, surely, but it was even better now when he turned to face you, a shy smile on his face.

“Missed cooking that much?”

“Cooking, yes, I missed being in the kitchen. I don't need to tell you how much I fucking missed your bratty ass, but what I meant was that I am enjoying you. I’m elated I finally have my girl and soon-to-be wife ogling me instead of the men at the base.” He chuckles, turning away and hiding a sudden shyness while drying his hands with a kitchen towel.

“And I'm elated just to be with her... Now that that’s done…” he whispers, undoubtedly ready for what you were with his hands and eyes on your plush thighs, his fingertips toying with the hem of your pajama shorts.

“It’s like you read my mind,” you smile, wrapping your arms around his neck, trying to pull him in for a kiss, only for him to pull away.

That was a first. Since Seokjin was back, at least. The two of you barely kept your hands off of one another….

“Or not…” you ask curiously, cupping his face in your hands. “Seokjin?”

Your fiance silently continues tracing the skin of your plush thighs, squeezing the flesh in his hands. He exhales before doing it once again and finally looking up at you.

You jump from the counter and face him, trying to look into his eyes, but he’s lost in thought. You pull his hand to lead him to the bedroom, but he doesn’t budge.

“Seokjin…?” you ask once again.

“Jump back on the counter for me, love.”

You do.

“Wrap your legs around me, honey.”

“Well, I was going to anyways,” you say, following his orders. “In there…”

“I’ll take you there.”

“What? No!” you shriek, unwrapping your legs from his body.

“Yes, come on, honey,” he says, his voice steady yet soft as he reaches for your leg.

“Seokjin, you cannot carry me,” you say, now pushing him away while he tries to tug you closer.

“Yes, I can,” he insists with a sternness to his voice that reminds you where he’d spent the past 18 months.

“Just because you’re all buff now doesn’t mean you can carry me, stupid. I’m still big, you know?”

“Well, guess who’s also big now? I mean, I always was, of course,” he says with a giggle and a flushed face as he raises his brow and tilts his head downwards, reminding you that he’s still your Seokjin. You promptly roll your eyes with a smile, pinching his arm. He regains his composure in mere seconds, a hand brushing your hair and tilting your face up towards his.

“I will admit that I probably wouldn’t have been able to do it before enlisting, but… I can now, honey. I can.”

“I don’t want you to,” you pout, unable to meet his gaze no matter how intense you knew it was, so knew it was best to shut it down as quickly as possible. Seokjin never forced you to do something you didn’t want to do…

“You.. why not?”

“Because in the case that you try to carry me but then realize you cannot, we could drop to the floor and one or both of us will get hurt. You could get hurt physically since I have padding and you don’t. I’d get hurt mentally, and I’ll be so fucking embarrassed that it was because of my weight.”

“The number of things wrong with that…,” Seokjin tsks, cupping your face and forcing you to look him in the eye. “First of all, I can carry you. Second, muscles are a form of padding, too, idiot.” He pokes your forehead and puts your hand on his shoulders to feel how strong he’d gotten while he takes your soft thigh in his hand. “I can take it, sweetie - all this tells me is I haven’t told you just how much work I did in the service. Third, it’s not because of your weight - nothing ever was. It’d be because I wasn’t strong enough.”

“Seokjin… I don’t know.”

“And you have nothing to be embarrassed about, my love. Ever. I mean… it’s me. I’ve seen and touched you in the most ungodly ways possible, and this would be what would embarrass you? Falling? When I-?”

You shake your head and interrupt him with shushes - nothing he could’ve said would have helped his case. “Can’t we at least put a mattress down or something? In case we fall?”

“Babe, this isn’t Jungkook’s apartment. We don't have an excess of mattresses here…”

The comment makes you giggle.

The way Seokjin rubbed your skin calmed your racing mind.

The kiss he plants on your lips reminds you that this is home.

This is safety.

This is love.

“Just trust me,” he whispers.

You nod, allowing Seokjin to wrap one of your legs around his torso and then the other. His hands sneak their way between your thighs and the marble countertop, digging into your plush skin already. You’d expected Jin to start a countdown, ease you into it at least… but before you knew it, his head was nestled in your chest, and you were off the counter, held up high in his arms.

A loud shriek escapes you, making your fiancee giggle beneath you.

“See, love? I got you...”

He was holding onto you securely, with no sign of any struggle on his part…. If he had been struggling with the weight of you, he hid it well…

“The view’s nice up here,” you smile, resting your head atop Seokjin’s when he finally looks away from you and buries his face in your flesh, kissing and biting you there.

“Seokjin, I can’t smell your shampoo anymore. When was the last time you showered?”

“Mm,” he says against your skin. “Fuck, that’s… that’s a perfect idea, honey,” he says, wide-eyed and excited, though he misunderstands. “It’ll be like a movie scene. But first…”

Seokjin dashes towards the bedroom with you still in his arms, shrieking until he plops you down onto your shared mattress.

“Safe?” he teases, pretending to check your body for any bruises before you pull him towards you until he’s leaning over you, his face a centimeter away from yours, with his hands already all over your soft body.

“Safe,” you say happily.

[jinkookspencil]

If somehow you haven’t seen by now, while the Super Bowl is being aired, Israel is striking Rafah.

The people of Palestine had been told to go there, they were promised it was safe.

And while this is happening, even though earlier several tags on Palestine were trending, only one or two are now.

I haven’t written any posts personally on Palestine myself. I didn’t feel I had anything to add here aside from reblogging and boosting whatever I can but please. We can’t forget Palestine or its people especially now.

This has gone on too long and gone much much too far MANY times and now is when we need to push harder.

Many of the heads of Western countries are either beating around the bush and wasting time, or outright denying the things the Palestinian people don’t have the privilege to ignore. They don’t have the choice to look away from their pain, or the pain of friends, family, neighbors, their country. And even through all of this they’re still trying their damn hardest just to live. And we all need to listen.

So now, especially if you live in a western country like I do, now we step it up a notch. Now is the time if you haven’t already to read up on Palestinian history. Listen to what the people of Palestine are saying. Hold firm on the boycott like never before. Any and every way you can donate, do it. eSIMs, aid, anything that will reach. Save as much evidence as you can. Videos, articles. Don’t let Zionists pretend all of this never happened.

Even if you think there’s nothing you can do, I’m telling you, keep going. Even if you feel you can only give a little, if we all give a little together it becomes much more.

Hit imperialism where it hurts. In the wallet. Follow the BDS instructions, find protests in your area if you can, boost as much information about Palestine as you can find, call your reps, and do not lose hope. The people of Palestine are not dead. They are holding on even through all this and we all owe it to them to do the same.

A Free Palestine will happen in our lifetimes. But it will be hard fought. So go out there and fight hard! The governments can’t hide from their own people forever. The companies can’t bleed cash forever. The people will win. So push until we do. Do not look away. Free Palestine

[jinkookspencil]

whole | ksj

✰ pairing: seokjin x f!reader - engaged au ✰ warnings: a ton of fluff. christmas; reader has anxiety/self-esteem issues and comes from a not-great upbringing; seokjin is a clown; “honey” as a pet/nickname; discussions of illness (not serious, hypothetical); crying; a flick on the forehead but not violent/malicious. mostly unedited ✰ word count: 1.6k ✰ note: omg ya boi is back just before the end of 2023 yuhHH i miss seokjin and my new meds are working for me so here we are <3 i’m slowly getting back into writing so please be nice to me even if you think this is terrible! thanks

—

"What if," you say. 

A groan. "This again?"

You pout. Stick out your lower lip as far as it can go, for dramatic effect. Seokjin can't help himself—he releases his hold on your hip to slot your jaw between his thumb and index finger, pushing your cheeks together. 

"Aigo,” he laughs, tugging on your lip. "Is my honey upset about something?"

"What if," you insist, your words muffled into his thumb, “I get sick."

"Then I'll bring a box of tissues." Seokjin rubs against your slightly chapped skin. Reaches down, pulling the comforter up over your shoulder. "And some yuja tea."

"But what if I get everyone else sick."

"They'll live. And we'll pin the outbreak on one of my nieces."

"You're heartless." You close your fingers around Seokjin's wrist—wrap both your hands around one of his, relishing in the consistent warmth of it, and press a soft kiss to his knuckle.  "What if the car breaks down on the way to Gwacheon."

He snorts. Pulls you in a bit tighter so your face is nestled in his chest, your cheek pressing against the warm skin there, and you think you feel his heartbeat. Slow, steady. A bit like him. "We don't have to go to my parents' for Christmas, you know."

You sigh. "I know. But—"

"We could just stay here." His voice takes on that familiar tone. Light, teasing—his favorite thing to do to you. (Well... maybe his second favorite thing.) "Eat cup ramyeon and microwaved mandu for dinner. Disappoint my mother for the third year in a row. She'll recover, I'm sure."

You bite your lip. Hold back a sigh.

He's joking, you're aware, but still—the truth of the matter is that you've never been the type of girl that parents like, the kind of girl any respectable Korean family would want their son to marry.

For starters, you’re a complete novice in the kitchen. A little too shy, a little too awkward, interests a little too niche. Not all that close to your own parents, since they'd emigrated when you were a baby and left your grandparents to raise you. Not to mention that you’re not all that good with—nor thrilled about the idea of—children. And sure, you think you're pretty enough, but sometimes the tiny flaws in your features build up enough to eat at you, keeping you up at night.

Plus, you'll be meeting his whole family. All at once, for the first time. You'd met his immediate family soon after the engagement, per custom, and his parents and brother been nice enough, if a bit distant. But it's the prospect of meeting a million cousins and aunts and uncles and great-nephews-twice-removed that has your palms sweating. Has you praying for a biblical but ultimately harmless plague in hopes of getting out of the whole thing, which—oh, god, Seokjin deserves better than this, surely? A fiancée who can't even stomach the idea of meeting the family she'll be seeing for the rest of her married life?

Will they even like you? Are you even good enough? Fuck, do you even have the right to be this happy—to marry into a loving family you don't feel that you deserve?

"I can hear you thinking."

You bury your face into the bright blue cotton of his pajamas. Take deep, even breaths. Focus. Calm down. He smells like eucalyptus, like clean laundry. Home. "Sorry. I don't want you to feel like we shouldn't—ah, shit, like you have to—I want to go. I'm just—"

Man, you hate getting emotional. Partially because you don't enjoy being fragile, yes, but mostly because of the way Seokjin's face crumples when you do.

Because he'll joke. Tease you for being a baby. He’ll make fun, but you see him—really see him.

For a fleeting moment, you can see how much he hates to see you like this. How it breaks him, just a little bit, because he thinks it some kind of duty of his to keep you safe. 

What could you possibly have done in a past life to deserve someone like him?

"Yah, these are my favorite pajamas," he squawks, but you feel his arms closing around you. The way he pulls you even closer, throwing a leg over your hip to secure you in his embrace. "Don't get your snot all over them, now."

You hiccup through a giggle, but the tears keep flowing. You just feel... overwhelmed. Not enough. A lot of things, none of which Seokjin is responsible for, so the least you could do is suck it up, right? For him? Be brave, and try to be even half of what he deserves?

"Honey," he murmurs after a while, once your shoulders have stopped shaking. He strokes your back, pressing a tender kiss to your hairline. "What is it? I mean—I know you've been nervous about meeting everyone, but I don't mind if you really don't think you can swing it this year. Everyone will understand. You can just meet everyone for the first time at the wedding. They'll be over the moon to discover that I haven't been making you up."

You exhale a laugh. "It's nothing. I'm just...."

You take a deep breath. Because it's Seokjin, the single person who knows you inside and out, so you have no reason to hesitate to share your feelings. Still... admittedly, having cried it out, you feel a little silly.

"It's nothing."

"Tell me." Not a request.

You run a tongue over your lip, debating internally. Fuck, here goes nothing. "I just don't feel like I'm enough, you know? Like... there's this idea of a perfect spouse every family has in mind for their son, and I'm... not... that."

You feel Seokjin stiffen in your arms, but press on—can't stop now, not when you've already started. "I can't cook, I'm not all that maternal, I don't think I do nearly enough for you compared to every small and big way you show your love for me. I don't know how well I'll get along with everyone, or if they'll even like me—“

Without warning, Seokjin pulls back and looks straight at you, brows pulling together. His gaze burns so intense that your stomach knots itself, palms churning out sweat—you fear you've upset him somehow, and feel your heart rate picking up. 

Kind of the way you used to feel when your grandfather would ice you out for failing to come in first in your class at school. Kind of the way you used to feel when he punished you for a lot of things, whenever you fell even the slightest bit short—anything short of absolute perfection.

You don't realize you've started spilling tears again until Seokjin starts thumbing them away, and you catch that look in his eyes again. The utter devastation, before he quickly schools it into something less heartbroken. 

“God," he breathes, still holding your face in his hands. "Have I ever—I hope I haven't made you feel—"

"No, no," you interject, panicked. "It's a me thing, trust me—"

"—because, like, I know I'm ridiculously handsome and everything, a real catch, but if I've ever said anything to make you feel like you wouldn't be enough, I swear to you, I don't think that at all—"

"Honey," you say, trying to calm him down, but he won't listen.

"And, okay, you know I hate being serious, but I'll do it for you—I love you more than anything, I'd give up Maplestory for the rest of my life if it meant I could have you. I mean, I'd really have to think about it, of course, make a pro-con list and everything—"

"—Kim Seokjin—"

"—but I would choose you a million times over, and you're really too good for me if we're being honest, like I might be drop-dead gorgeous, but that's really all I've got going for me. Well—I suppose there's my universally beloved sense of humor, too—"

You don't have a choice. You cradle his delicate face in your hands and pull him down for a kiss mid-sentence, cutting off his ramble before he can get too ahead of himself. He makes a noise and deepens the kiss, slipping a hand up the back of your sleep shirt, and you hum with delight at his touch before he pulls back, a tiny smile pulling at the corners of his full mouth. 

"Thank you," you whisper, your eyes darting between his. You sweep a tuft of fringe off of his forehead. Soak in his tender eyes, his plush lips, his reddened ears. All of him—the person you would choose a million times over, too. 

The nerves might still be eating at you, sure, but what do you have to be afraid of when Seokjin's so entirely yours. What is there to fear when you have him, and he's devoted himself endlessly to making you feel his affection. To making you feel your worth.

"No." He leans forward to kiss you between your eyebrows, the swiftest peck. "Thank you. For trying. And for being you.” 

You let your eyes flutter shut and reach for him, feeling contented, but then feel a sting—a flick of his fingernails against your forehead, right where his lips were a moment ago. "Yah!" you exclaim, indignant.

"And that," he says—all smug, holding in a laugh—"is for talking badly about my fiancée.”

—

[jinkookspencil]

yooooooooo this made me gasp when i saw the notification, i went "7NDIPITY"?! like you're one of my faves on here too i'm so so honored thank you so much😭

Do you have any fav blogs and ff on here u could recommend !? I love all ur content sm! I’ve read through all your works multiple times 😅 I gotta know who u read on here too! 😩

Oh my goodness, there's so many blogs I love, it would take ages to go through them all, but I'll pick just a few favorites that come to mind.💜

@holdinbacksecrets is one of my absolute favorites, the way they write is so poetic and comforting, I wish I could write half as beautifully as them! I really love their 'boyfriend things' series (part 17 is one of my go-to comfort pieces)

@blu-joons has an insane number pieces for multiple groups on their blog.

@dreamescapeswriting also has an amazing masterlist in a range of styles and AUs for multiple groups.

@jinkookspencil has some really great pieces, especially if you're a Jk bias.

I've also really been enjoying 'Somebody Does Love' from @coffeedepressionsoup lately.

And of course, I have to mention 'Act On It' from @joonie-beanie , since it's pretty much the fic that got me into bts writings.

Again, these are just a few of my favorites. I love reading for so many different writers on here for so many groups, we could be here all night. There are so many amazingly talented people sharing their work with us, they have my full love and respect💜

[jinkookspencil]

hellooooo tumblr! is it too late to say happy new year's? it's been a bit too long since my last update/fic hasn't it? i never intended to take a break or stop posting on here, actually. i just got extremely busy working for a while and completely focused on that!! that work thing was really good for me, actually, and it's the main reason why i'm in a much better mental space at the moment. :)) anyways, a downside to that was that i didn't write at all! :(( i miss it and i definitely miss the boys... i miss them with all my heart.

i know writing and reading helps with that. so i do want to get back into fics - for me and for you - but i don't think i can actually promise anything or any consistency. i'll write/post whenever i can and whenever i feel like it.. (i have a lil holiday coming up so who knows) but i'm almost removing all pressure associated with this account, especially as i know i want to work harder in real life, and that'll give me enough pressure lmao also my brain was so focused on my real life for 2 months that i almost forgot how to daydream and come up with scenarios and stories :((

i guess that's the gist of my little update. a bittersweet one i guess? what actually made me think to post this was that i found another seokjin drabble i wrote in november but never posted/polished. it's gooooood, might just work on that tonight.. (don't count the amount of times i promised TYMI2 but went on to post a seokjin thing... the wrecker is wrecking).

so, yeah! thank you if you're reading this, to anyone that has ever read anything i've written, and for the new followers and the tags while i've been away <3

i talked way too much T_T hope you're all well, lovelies? xx

[jinkookspencil]

listen i know we’re all crying and emotional and upset and will miss the tannies very much but also YOU GUYS I THOUGHT OF MY FIRST JIMIN SCENARIO JIMIN JIMIN FINALLY :’)))))) swamped and have a late meeting today but I’ll try to finish writing it asap, it’s pretty short like the Jin waking up one <3

[jinkookspencil]

keep playing | ksj

jin helps you with your game…

suggestive jin drabble / established relationship / ~300 words / happy birthday my love seokjinnie <3

••••••

Again?

“Jin! Pin puzzle!” you yell from the living room couch, hoping the call reached your fiancee’s ears, wherever he may be in the apartment, your eyes still glued to the puzzle on the screen.

“Let me wash my hands,” he replies loudly from the nearby kitchen, appearing at your side a minute later and immediately snatching the remote controller from your hands.

You watch the screen closely as Jin carefully moves the pin to its rightful position - a seemingly easy puzzle, but entirely reliant on patience and a precise positioning of the dual joystick knobs, and different every time. It was something you could never figure out, a major inconvenience considering they had to be solved in order to unlock the best gear and in-game currency. And the puzzles only got trickier as you progressed into the game. Luckily, you had a gamer for a boyfriend.

“Just one, fuck, ahhhhhhhhh,” Jin moans, the completed puzzle coming to life on screen when he hands back the controller.

“I don’t know how you solve them so quickly,” you mutter to your boyfriend.

“I’m good with my fingers aren’t I?”

A wide smirk is on his face when you turn to look at him - it’s a smug look you could only answer by rolling your eyes in admittance. Laughing now, Jin plops down next to you, and his self-proclaimed excellent fingers scratch at your thighs as he watches you gather the unlocked loot onscreen.

No urgent mission. Not in the midst of a sidequest, Jin notes, scanning the television screen.

“Sit on my lap,” he whispers, bunching up your dress with his fingers.

Reminded of just what Jin could do with his fingers, you willingly sit between his thighs and spread yours before he could inch his hand between them and graze there in permission, as he always does. He slips his fingers beneath the fabric at your core within seconds.

“Keep playing.”

“Mmmh, you too.”

[jinkookspencil]

a way to wake | ksj

you're fast asleep and seokjin has to wake you up... an old method he used on his friend eventually comes to mind

description/tags/note: seokijn drabble / fluff + suggestive / established relationship / i had this idea in my head for a while, ever since i found out how jin used to wake up jungkook when they were younger... and i ended up writing the whole thing while stuck in traffic on a random afternoon / i am actively working on til you make it 2 whenever i have the time! i'm glad i took my time with it, i improved it in all this time and am still thinking of ways to improve it little by little / also, i often get ideas or scenarios in my head that could be mini pieces, not even a drabble - some are barely even 500 words. would you guys be interested in stuff like that? lmk!! / anyways, enjoy!! / edit: i edited this fic to make it even more suggestive. they both hint at yn wanting jin to wake her up by touching her.

wc: ~1.3k words

Seokjin didn’t have it in him. You were sleeping so peacefully beside him, as you had through all seven of your alarms, likely finally getting in a good rest after many sleepless nights… and he had to disturb it?

He knew he didn’t really have a choice - you were already running late. It wasn’t going to be a problem for Seokjin really, after you both showered, it’d only take him a couple more minutes at most to change into his suit. You, on the other hand, always needed some extra time to get ready, and that ‘extra’ time was getting shorter and shorter the more he let you sleep.

You’d want him to wake you up, he knew that for certain, as well as the fact that you would probably scold him as well as yourself for your sleeping in. That reminder is what finally got him to nudge and rub your shoulder.

“Jagiya?”

He repeats the action numerous times, raising the volume of his voice every time, but still, you slept.

“Honey,” he calls with a laugh, tickling your side, belly, and thigh. Your elbow twitches once, but never again despite him repeating the action over and over again. “We need to leave soon. You need to wake up now, darling.”

Nothing.

He gets up to pull open a bit of the curtains, letting sunlight stream in and disrupt the darkness of your bedroom.

Still, nothing.

Frustrated now, Seokjin pulls out his phone and quickly takes a photo of you sleeping - just for himself - before opening up the music app. He plays clips of several songs, and all you do is wince, sleeping through them as you did your alarms.

“Are you faking it?” he asks aloud to your sleeping body. “Jagi… if you’re faking sleep, I swear I won’t eat you out tonight. I’m serious.”

Nothing.

That definitely would’ve done it if you were faking sleep. Really, you had no reason to fake it - you'd panic at the mere thought of running late - but Seokjin couldn’t eliminate the possibility entirely. You could be a bit of a brat at times.

He half considers physically pulling you out of bed, throwing a plushie at you, or emptying a water bottle on you, until he remembers a failsafe. A way that couldn’t hurt you like manhandling could, nor anger you with wet pajamas and sheets.

Jungkook’s way.

Seokjin giggles to himself at the thought. He had never tried it on any of his exes in the past, just Jungkook, really. It wasn't uncommon for boys to do such a thing at that age, especially when they were playfully roughhousing, which, with Jungkook, happened every day and at any time of day. Seokjin always had the edge by starting off Jungkook's days just like that - it always did the trick... And considering the other similarities you shared with Seokjin's younger friend, it wasn’t something to dismiss entirely.

Slowly, he turns you until you’re lying entirely on your back against the mattress, facing the ceiling with shut eyes. He moves from his position next to you until he’s over you, straddling your body with a knee planted on either side of your hips. He never took on this position with Jungkook of course, and almost started regretting it already - you felt too good.

“Jagi,” he whispers, pulling away the blanket from your body and letting his hand graze the skin at your collarbone and your stomach by the hem of your pajama top. He kisses your neck once, calling your name. It was the final chance he'd give you before he’d pull the trigger.

And you didn’t budge.

He sighs in defeat, not holding back his smile any longer when he sees your hardened nipples peak through the thin fabric of your top. Ready. Just for him.

With his index finger and thumb on both hands, Seokjin pinches and fiddles with your raised buds for mere seconds before you shoot up, finally awake.

“Wh?! W..what the fuck?! Jin!” you yell, wriggling underneath your fiancé’s body as he laughs, tumbling over you.

“I can’t believe that worked,” he says between his giggles, stopping only when you lazily reach towards his chest. “YA! I only did that to wake you up. You slept through your alarms, bub. We’re running late.”

“WHAT?!” you yell, pushing him off of you and hurriedly searching for your phone. “Why didn’t you wake me sooner?

“I TRIED!” he protests, getting off the bed. “You slept like a rock. Who knew squeezing your nipples would finally do it? It’s what I used to do to Jungkook when we shared a dorm. Though, of course, I used to twist his nipples to the point where he was certain I detached them from his body somehow. I tried handling you with care, princess.”

“Couldn’t you have used your fingers somewhere else, Seokjin? A bit lower perhaps? You know, something Jungkook doesn’t have? Something you could only possibly do with your girlfriend?”

Seokjin stares at you. Despite the fact that you’d looked delectable asleep and under him already, the thought never occurred to him. Of course the thought wouldn’t occur to him. This wasn’t a conversation you had had together and he hadn’t gotten your consent or any hint that it’d be something you would want. Unless of course, he had been the reason you refused to wake up… Seokjin’s mind wanders with a desperate need within him to have the conversation then and there, knowingly unprepared if you’d admitted to it all. Wanting to be woken up that way. A dream, perhaps. They might have just forget the event altogether…

He begins following you around the room with pleas for a moment to talk, but you don’t turn back for a second until it is to do the exact opposite of handling him with care - dragging and pushing him into the bathroom.

Seokjin watches as you undress, doing the same and half hoping for a quickie, considering your eagerness. He almost felt his length begin to harden, but soon you’re pushing him once more, into the tepid shower with a loofah in hand. He tries to put his thought away for now, caring for your body in another way he felt so privileged to do. To maximize efficiency, you wash yourselves and one another before going about your routines at double the pace. Seokjin’s entirely dressed in minutes, save for his suit jacket, while you were still getting ready, wearing a lingerie set underneath a robe. Extra time for you, and extra time for him to admire you.

“Help me with my dress,” you command him, stepping into a dress he promptly zips up, but not before he drinks up the sight of you in brown silk and lace underneath. Stood behind you, he watches as you adorn yourself with jewelry but can’t stop his hand from snaking over your waist, softly cupping your breasts over the fabric of your dress. You don’t react save for a sharp inhale, continuing to adorn your look. You’re so stunning it almost brings him to his knees. He’d happily allow his body to get there, too, kneeling to tease you at the very least and at most, sneaking his head underneath your dress and pulling down your underwear - just for a taste. But instead, he nudges his head in the crook of your neck - softly kissing along the chain of your necklace. “Tell me, honey… were you dreaming of me? Is that why you didn’t want to wake up?”

You roll your eyes, playfully swatting Seokjin’s hand on your waist, his fake arrogance replaced with a wide smile in seconds. “We need to leave.”

“I made a promise,” Seokjin says, wearing his jacket. “While you were asleep. I made a promise.”

“Oh?” you question, spraying perfume on the two of you. The final touch.

“I said that if you were faking sleeping through your alarms, I wouldn’t eat you out tonight.”

The promise makes you stop in your tracks towards the front door, Seokjin getting there first with an intrigued expression on his face when he looks back. “Since you weren’t faking it, that means I have to do it. And since you slept through the many different ways I tried waking you up… I guess it seems I gotta get you to do something else.... gotta get you somewhere.... many different ways tonight…. Oh, and of course, you won't be faking it this time around as well.”

He’s unsure if the redness in your cheeks is heat flooding your system or makeup he simply hadn’t noticed a minute prior. As you make your way towards your fiancee, you see smugness only slightly present on his face, overshadowed by sincerity - that of a genuine promise. Your hands fiddle with Seokjin’s tie before resting on his chest.

“I didn’t realize dreams could manifest into reality that quickly.”

“I knew it,” Seokjin smiles, kissing your hand as his ears go red. The idea of you actually having a wet dream about him this long into your relationship… the fact that you’d dream of him and his body pleasuring yours, after only hours apart in sleep… it sent him into a frenzy.

“I mean, I know I’ll hear it tonight, but I kind of wish you’d been moaning my name in your sleep…”

“Well, you didn’t see my pajama shorts, did you?,” you whisper, flicking Seokjin’s nipple over his shirt. He winces but is quick to disregard the pain - his face flushed, and he suddenly doesn’t know what to do with his hands, trying to reach for your waist, thigh, or ass - you push him away.

“It was a very vivid dream, honey. Don’t you worry… I’ll tell you all the many different ways I want it. The ways you did it… And tomorrow, wake me up like it never ended.”

There it was.

“Can we stay in? We’re late already,” Seokjin whines. “We can get a head start. Morning to morning…” He feeling his knees buckling at the thought, slowly trying to pull you closer to him in persuasion. You don’t budge and open the door instead.

“You know we can’t…. Now’s your time to dream of me.”

The hunger within him only grew, already fantasising of the of the night to come. Now, he was in competition with himself and he’d make sure your reality is far better than anything you could dream of.

[jinkookspencil]

guess who is making progress on til you make it 2

again, my mental health has been rocky but i felt so good writing it today!! i made sense out of the nonsense i wrote 2 days ago!! it's helping my mental health i think!! slow but steady progress in both regards!!

[jinkookspencil]

pls do more of taehyung 😭😭😭

i would love tooooooooooo, even for jimin who I haven’t written for at all :( idk why ideas for vmin don't come to me as naturally and tae should be easier than it is too since i think i have a few things in common with him but :(( i'll try to i promise. i want to! & if you want something specific i'll definitely take a shot at it. my requests are open i just take ages to fulfill them >.< 

[jinkookspencil]

Helloooo how are you????? Could I plz request for a jungkook drabble where he and his gf spend an evening at a funfair...so stuff like them going on scary rollercoasters together...feeding each other typical funfair snacks...and ending their day on the ferris wheel with kisses (cliche i know hahaha)... also I saw how you wrote that you have been feeling down recently...Wish you better days :))))

hi!! tysm for requesting! this is adorable and unintentionally reminded me of the speak now taylor swift album, i listened to it as i was editing <3 and thank you for your words/wishes/concern - my mental health has been…. rocky but at the very least, I’m in a better place mentally than i was when you submitted this. and it took a whiiiiiiiiiile to feel better so it took a while to do anything and write this (sorry) - but better late than never! i hope you like it!! <3 

wonderstruck | jjk

jungkook convinced his fearful girlfriend to try out a rollercoaster at the funfair...

tags + wc: jungkook x reader (f) / fluff / one-shot / established relationship / clean / ~1.5k

“If I do this, you owe me a churro,” you say, looking up at the rickety death trap looming over you.

“Done,” Jungkook smiles, kissing you on the cheek. He forcefully pulls your hand from your own grasp until he’s able to hold it, giving you reassuring squeezes and pep talks throughout your short wait in the line to the rollercoaster cart. With your hand still in his, he pulls you to the very first cart.

“Oh fuck no,” you protest, trying to pull him away to another cart, but failing. He barely moves an inch.

“Baby, baby,” he giggles, succeeding when he pulls you closer to him. “The front is less scary!”

“Don’t lie to me!”

“Ask him!” Jungkook points to the attendant, who merely nods in response, hiding his annoyance that your resistance held up the visitors loading onto the ride. 

Reluctantly sitting on the cold piece of metal, Jungkook could see the terror in your eyes as reality sets in when the safety bar is pulled down against your bodies. 

“You good?” he peeks, trying to read your face and think of any possible way he could calm you down. Jokes, a kiss, ill-timed dirty whispers, and flashing his abs always did the trick - but none seemed appropriate or doable then and there. If all else fails, he hoped his smile could do something.

“If we die…. we die together. There’s something beautiful in that…. right?”

Jungkook smiles when your eyes finally land on him, and he sees most of your fear fade away, replaced by what he could only assume was love, if not comfort. Either way, it meant the same. Whether his smile was what did it or not, his happiness only grew.

 “There is. Pretty dark, baby, but… there is. I mean, I do want to spend the rest of my life with you.” 

The smile on your face was too brief. The cart is jolted onto its tracks, and Jungkook is deafened and delighted by the sound of your screams and calls of his name, which last all the way through the track until the cart comes to a complete stop once again. 

Peeking at you at once, he tries to conceal his amusement, yet it shines through along with his concern. “Are you okay, baby?” he asks with raised brows, a hint of a smile, and wide eyes as you catch your breath.

“….I think I can do that again,” you murmur. 

Laughing, he throws his head back against the headrest. “I knew you’d love it. Let’s go to another one, the scarier ones. I’m not letting you settle on this one.”

“Deal, Jeon Jungkook,” you say. The metal bar whizzes away from you and Jungkook hops out of the cart just as fast, holding his hand out for you to hold as you jump out after him. “But only if you hold my hand like this whenever you can, alright?”

“You don’t even have to ask.”

Jungkook kisses your hand before you can take another step, holding you tight as you whizz and weave through the crowds. 

“Wait, Jungkook! About that churro….”

+

“It all seems like toys from up here. Not scary at all, actually.” 

Looking over the funfair far below you, each ride, stall, and booth was now lit up in an array of neon colors and flashes. Distant screams and carousel melodies are faint from so high above, people seeming small as ants, pixels on a computer, or, he guessed, miniature toys as you described it. 

“I knew you had it in you,” Jungkook giggles, kissing your cheek and pulling you tight against his chest, not caring that it was practically impossible for you to be any closer. Already caged into his body, you rub your head in the crook of his neck, taking off your matching animal headbands to better fit against him. His other hand only leaves your thigh a couple of times to grab the occasional handfuls from the popcorn bucket resting on your lap. “There’s nothing you can’t do, honey.”

“I think that statement applies to you, Koo,” you giggle, gesturing towards the third-wheel accompanying you on your compact Ferris wheel seat: the giant plushie he’d won you at a game booth. “I nearly took the guy’s eye out trying to win it. And you beat me at the duck shooting game and that stupid guessing game.”

“Well, first of all, you won this,” he begins, showing you the cheap plastic watch on his hand, “- at the ring toss, which is notoriously difficult. Don’t sell yourself short. And you could easily win the guessing game, too, you know? It’s just physics! It’s not so hard to guess how much candy was in the jar!” Jungkook ignores you rolling your eyes.  I’ll give you the others, though. Darts is a skill I mastered in the dorms…. and I was going to let you win the shooting game but I won before I even realized I was in the lead. I guess I just have a good eye.”

“Well, obviously. If you didn’t have a good eye, you wouldn’t be with me, now would you?”

Jungkook chuckled heartily at your comment, and considering the way you moved your back and snuggled in position, he was sure you’d felt the laugh escape him through his chest against your back. He couldn’t help it - he loved seeing you all confident. “Well, obviously. It’s the perfect set of eyes, actually - it has a secret power, too. Want to know what it is?”

“If you see the future, then you probably missed a very cool job opportunity of opening up a booth here.”

“Make that two secret powers, actually. One for each eye!” Jungkook is too excited at his sudden idea, sitting up to face you directly and make sure you were following along and listening to every word. “This eye,” he begins, pointing to his right one. “This eye acts as a compass. It led me to my soulmate. That day we met, I noticed you the moment you walked into the room. I know it’s a compass pointing to my soulmate since I’ve been unable, and unwanting, to take my eyes off you ever since.”

You roll your eyes in an attempt to tease Jungkook’s cheesy words, but you know his words to be true - it was always hard to ignore both his gaze and the rush you’d feel whenever you feel his eyes on you, always lingering for far too long. 

“You were right about the other eye. The left eye sees the future. My future.”

“And what do you see in your future, O’ Mystical Jungkook?” you tease, widening your eyes and waving your fingers.

“I see you.”

Jungkook’s tone is serious, yet it doesn’t stop a shy smile from appearing on his face when he sees the same on yours. 

“Exactly where I should be,” you reply. “A mysterious, traveling fortune teller I’d met as a child told me that I’d fall in love and spend the rest of my life with another clairvoyant.”

“Then I guess I’m in the right place, too,” he smirks, wiggling his eyebrows. 

Before you could nod in response, his lips are on yours, and his arms pull you close to him once again. You don’t pull away from one another until a loud boom sounds out from behind you, alerting the two of you to the sudden visual of colored sparks lighting up the brighter night sky. Jungkook always loved fireworks. Every time, the sight of a colorful sky was always so enchanting… but was even more so was the love of his love right beside him. Captivated, he takes in every wonderstruck expression on your face, every burst reflected in your eyes, and every second. Yet he held himself there, resisting the urge to spill out his heart and kiss what enchanted him most, to take in the scene a moment longer. It was practically a scene from a movie or a fairy tale ending, too picture-perfect to forget. Jungkook could wait patiently to do what he wanted to - certain he’d have the rest of his life to do so…. yet no ride that day gave him the same burst of adrenaline as the second you pulled him by his collar and kissed him soft and slow with the same certainty of an eternity together. 

[jinkookspencil]

happy halloween! shamelessly reblogging this post of mine from last year, when i came up with it about a week after halloween lol

bts x halloween couples costumes

Description/Tags: Fluff / OT7 Scenarios / No Smut At All / This is an OT7 post that is basically little scenarios of each member and their s.o., but they’re inter-connected - they’re all getting ready to go to a couples costume Halloween party hosted by Hobi and his S.O! I'm sure you can guess what Hobi has planned.... You don’t have to read every member, it’s just that that’s the setting in my head and some members are mentioned in some of the other members’ scenarios.

Author’s Note: I had the idea to write a post on this a while ago, but I completely forgot about it and I just wrote this on a whim. I wanted to try something different! Pretty happy with how it came out, it’s my first time writing like this for a few of the members so I’m at least glad I tried that. I’m sorry it’s taking me longer to post my other WIPs! I’m not that proud of my Namjoon drabble I planned to post but I might just upload it soon. Also I sincerely want to thank you guys for all the love on take off your glasses - i didn't expect it to blow up and i think i reached 2 follower milestones since then, so thank you sm!! (gifs are not mine! can't find original sources, so please lmk if i should just remove them from the post)

namjoon

“Honey, I have a couples costume idea for Hobi’s Halloween party!”

“Oh, really?”, Namjoon asks, walking over to you from his office chair upon hearing you at the door. “I thought you were matching with Jin’s girl? And me and Jin were gonna do a Pokemon one? Wasn’t that the plan?”

“It was… Wait did you and Jin get your costumes yet?”

“No,” he sighs. “It felt weird if one of us was Ash and the other was Pikachu then we just couldn’t decide who got which Pokemon onesie. Now he wants Charmander and I want Bulbasaur, but they only had Eevee and Squirtle and.. forget it. I, of course, want to match with you instead. What’s up, what’s your idea?”, he rubs your shoulder. 

“Okay so, I have two ideas.”

“Of course you do.”

“Shh,” you smile. “The first one is a bug catcher and a butterfly. You’ll be the bug catcher and I’ll be a butterfly. You can wear a khaki or brown vest and shorts with a bucket hat and a net in your hands, and I’ll wear wings and do my makeup all pretty,” you say proudly, batting your eyelashes jokingly before looking at Namjoon to see his eyes in a crescent moon shape due to the wide smile on his face.

“That’s adorable, baby. I love it. My pretty butterfly,” he says, squishing your face. “I’m good with that, it already beats me and Jin’s onesies. What’s the other idea?”

“I think you’ll like this one more.”

“Oh?”

“So…. we’d need some more help with this, maybe Jungkook can come over and help us out since he’s a great painter, but…. What if we were Van Gogh and his sunflowers? We ca-,” you stop for a moment and restrain your smile, taking in the sight of Namjoon’s eyes widening. 

“We can do it in so many different ways, babe. We can both be covered in paint, you’re his self-portrait and I have sunflowers painted all over me. You can just dress as he does in that portrait of his with the hat? Maybe even with the bandaged ear? And I’ll have sunflowers in my hair either way. What do you think?”

Namjoon doesn’t answer, but pulls your head closer to his to meet your lips, sighing against them after a kiss. “I love you.”

“Nice, huh?”

He quickly kisses you again on the lips, staring at you in adoration with a big, heartwarming smile on his. “Amazing. My beautiful genius.”

“So? Which one?”

“The second one,” he laughs. “Is that okay? Let’s leave the butterfly for next year…..” Namjoon’s voice trails off, and suddenly he’s staring at the corner of the ceiling.

“Wh…. You’re thinking of more art costume ideas we could do, huh?”

"There's American Gothic too...." he mumbles before his gaze returns to you. “Have I told you that I love you?”

seokjin

“Seokjin, no.”

“Honey!”

Your plans for Hoseok's Halloween party were set. You and your bestie would match while your respective boyfriends - Seokjin and Namjoon - would match, a genius twist on Hoseok's "couples costume" theme this year. But when she texted you telling you the plans were off and that she’d be matching with Namjoon, you were back to square one and broke the news to Seokjin.

You didn't think it could get any worse..... But he got an idea when he heard that one of their initial costume ideas was a bug catcher and a butterfly.

“Seokjin. I am NOT dressing up as a FISH.”

“Why not?!” he pouts. “You’ll be a fish and I’ll be a fisherman! It’s cute!”

“Seokjin, I’ve been to Hoseok’s parties before, everyone is going to be in their most amazing, creative costumes and I’m going to be a fish? I still have to make a good impression on some of your friends!”

“Honey, everyone already loves you, don't worry about that. And we’ll be sitting in the corner talking to each other and the guys like we always do.”

“But a fish, Seokjin?”

“Yes, what’s wrong with it?” he defends. “You know I love seafood!”

“To eat! But dressing up AS a fish?!”

“You don’t get it, honey. It’s because you’re a CATCH.”

Seokjin’s expression brightens at his own ‘genius’, and you try to restrain a smile - you always admired his ability to make a pun out of every situation.

“But I’d be a FISH, Seokjin. A DEAD and SMELLY CATCH.”

Now it's his turn to laugh, but he erupts rather than holding it in. “Honey, you’d be my favorite hobby! Well, you already are,” he winks, “but you know what I mean.

Put on a little extra of that floral perfume you always wear and we'll say you're a magical fish from a pond that smells like roses and can survive out of water."

“I can’t believe I’m dressing up as a fish for you, Seokjin.”

“Yes!!!!” he cheers, kissing your forehead. “Thank you, honey. Ah, be prepared, I’ll go around all night making that catch joke.”

“Why couldn’t we have been Mario and Peach? We have those costumes in our closets….. Can’t I at least be a mermaid?”, you slump. “Like you caught a mermaid?”

“Honey, that’s not realistic.”

“I’ll find a way to be a sexy fish,” you pout.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

yoongi

“Okay.”

“Okay?” you make sure.

“Yes,” Yoongi nods. “I like it.”

“Tell me honestly.”

“Honestly?,” Yoongi asks. “It’s a bit uncreative for a couples costume idea, darling, but I like it……… But judging by the expression on your face, you don’t believe me.”

You hadn’t noticed your eyebrows were furrowed until Yoongi pointed it out. “You just said it was uncreative, Yoongi.”

“Gomez and Morticia Addams is not a creative couples costume idea! It’s been done, but I like it.”

“Well, you come up with something, if you’re so good at creative costumes!”

“Darling, let me finish. I like it. You know why? Because it’s accurate,” he says.

“Accurate? What does that mean? Because you’re pale?”

Yoongi chuckled before turning his chair to face you completely. “It’s accurate to me and you. I remember watching that Addams Family movie and Gomez was so in love with his wife…. And I’m madly in love with mine. What’s that thing he tells her? ‘To live without you, only that would be torture’? That.” Yoongi blinks. “I like it because it’s accurate. Okay?”

You grab Yoongi by his cheeks and pull him towards you in a kiss.

“What the fuck, Min Yoongi?!”

“What?! I just said it’s accurate! Just draw the mustache on me. Gomez and Morticia Addams…. I like it.”

hoseok

“Wait, what did you tell everyone we were dressing up as?”, you ask your boyfriend from the makeup chair.

“Woody and Bo Peep from Toy Story,” Hoseok replies from the armchair beside you.

“Oh that’s going to be hilarious,” you smile for a moment before instantly suppressing it so the makeup artist couple complete your look. “They won’t see this coming. Are you completely done?”

“Yep,” he replies.

“So are you,” the makeup artist replies with a final stroke of her brush. “Take a look, Mrs. Frankenstein.”

When Hoseok said he’d take care of everything and would go all out, he really meant it. The makeup artist he hired did a great job at somehow making you look both fabulous and creepy, and so did the hairstylist, who gave you permanent white streaks in your hair as per your request, to surprise Hoseok after the party. Even the sort of wedding dress you wore was tailor-made as per Hobi’s insistence, but he let you have a hand in designing it, resulting in an edgy, fitted white dress that was a mini at the bottom to show off your thigh-high boots and a lacy corset on top of a short-sleeved lacy top. You looked like a rockstar version of the Bride of Frankenstein and turning to Hobi as he got up to take a look at you, you realized he looked like one too. Green all over with dark circles under his eyes, but a rockstar nonetheless… Hell, he even made the bolts on his neck look natural and cool. Where did he find this team of artists to put together your looks?! Sure he loved spoiling you, but this was almost too much, even for Hoseok.... and it didn't help that he was fidgeting all day, which he only did when he was incredibly nervous, setting you on edge as well.

“You look so cool, baby,” he smiles, hands in his pockets. “Ready for the party? We should get going now so we can start welcoming the guests in.”

“I think I am... Baby, you look amazing… we look amazing,” you say, taking in your look. “But there's something.... different about tonight. Don't you feel it? You don't seem like yourself too."

As soon as the words leave your mouth, you regret it, because suddenly, it's as if he hadn't had jitters the entire night. "I'm fine, baby. I'm excited! This is going to be the best party I threw, I planned so many things that even you don't know about. How about you? How are you feeling?"

"I can't describe it. I’m kinda nervous or… excited but in a way, I’ve never felt before.”

“Why?,” he laughs. “This isn’t the first time we’ve hosted a party together.”

“I know, but this feels…. big? Different? I don’t know why.”

“It’s nothing, honey. Forget that stuff about it being the best party, it's just another party! Besides that are you feeling okay or is something bothering you?”

“No, I’m fine, it’s just…,” you look Hobi in his eyes, “something feels different.”

Hoseok’s smile grows as he shakes his head. “It’s just a Halloween party with all of our friends, who love us. No reason to be nervous.”

You nod, taking his hand in yours. "I don't think it's nerves."

“Can I tell you something funny to help ease you?”, he says.

“What?”

“I heard Jin made his girlfriend dress up like a fish.”

You and Hoseok burst into a cackle, despite that he already knew of the fact.

“Knowing her, she’ll find a way to make it cool, though,” you say. “That helped, baby. I’m ready.”

“Good,” he smiles, touching over his jacket pocket before grabbing your hand. “Let’s go, my beautiful bride.”

jimin

“Jimin, are you home?” you yell from the bedroom upon hearing the front door slam.

“Yes!” he calls out. “Who else would enter with a key?”, you hear him gush under his breath. His voice and his excited face are too adorable for you to get annoyed…. and you had a pressing issue at hand.

“Baby, hi. So I’m kind of stressed because I couldn’t come up with anything to wear for Hoseok’s party.”

“Oh, right, when is it?” he asks calmly.

“Jimin, it’s Halloween. It’s tomorrow.”

“Oh!”, he gasps. “Then I’m in trouble too. Isn’t it supposed to be a couples costume thing too?”

“Fuck. What do we do?”

“I actually think I still have my Mickey Mouse ears that I got from that Disney trip with the boys…. How about Mickey and Minnie?”

You had discovered that Jimin was even more of a sweetheart than he seemed as you got to know him, but this was damn near one of the sweetest suggestions he had ever made in all your time together. “Mickey and Minnie?!”

“Yes! Do you have Mickey or Minnie ears?”

“No….” you reply shyly.

“Then let me ask Jungkook, and I’ll make a note to take you to Disneyland,” he smiles, but it almost immediately turns into a frown. “Ay, I forgot he got Donald Duck.”

“I can probably do my hair up in little buns?” you suggest.

“You’d look adorable, baby.”

“But what would we wear?”

“Just black? We might look weird, huh?”

“Why did we both forget?! I want to match, Jiminie, you can’t suggest Mickey and Minnie and just give that up, it's too cute but we'll look like Mickey and his weird rat girlfriend instead of Minnie.... but I can’t think of anything!”, you whine with your forehead against his chest.

You feel his chest vibrate beneath your skin, and the sound of Jimin's giggles nearly makes you forget the issue entirely. “Baby,” he giggles. “You won't look like Mickey's weird girlfriend. It’ll be okay, even if we show up in our normal clothes with no costumes and say we’re dressed as us.”

You lift your head up and stare at Jimin. “Dressed as us?”

“Mm,” he says calmly.

“I have an idea," you reply. "What if we dressed as each other?! I know we borrow each other’s stuff sometimes but we still have different styles right'? What if I went dressed as you and you dressed as me?! I think we can use whatever’s in our closets…”. You stare off in the direction of your wardrobe trying to form a mental image of all the outfits you both had. “What do you think?”

Jimin tilts your head so he can look you in the eyes. “I love it. Unfortunately for Hoseok, for a couples costume party, we’ll be the most coupley couple there and we didn’t even have to think about it too much… this is why we’re PERFECT together, babe...." He brings his soft lips to the top of your head. "I love you."

taehyung

“Taehyung, isn’t this a bit of a sad costume?”, you ask your boyfriend while applying lipstick in the mirror.

“What do you mean?”, he replies suddenly appearing behind you in the reflection, in full costume.

“Well, Bonnie and Clyde?”

“Yeah?” he raises his eyebrows.

“Well, you know…” 

“I know…. what?” his eyes widen.

“Well, it’s a real story and I know we’re going off of the movie, but they die at the end.”

Taehyung licks his lips, his eyes darting around the room…. 

“You didn’t finish the movie, did you?”

He cringes, a faint shade of red appearing in his cheeks. “I slept before the ending.”

“And you didn’t even see it coming?”

Taehyung covers his mouth with his hand, biting his index finger. “I’m sorry.”

“Baby,” you sigh, turning around and cupping his face in your hands. “Why are you sorry? It’s a classic couples costume. I just said it’s kind of sad but you know what else it is?” His eyebrows raise quickly in question.

“It’s sexy. Well, not Bonnie and Clyde, that feels kind of weird and wrong to say. But this whole 1940s type of clothing on you, on us,” you say, your hands roaming over Taehyung’s chest before fiddling with his suspenders. “I know you like to wear this type of thing often, I mean, hey, you didn’t even have to buy anything, you just got everything from your closet but…. It feels good to actually wear them, you know? I’m not sad at all. I wanna walk into that party with my partner in crime.”

He brings the tip of his index finger to your chin, slowly kissing you… and as he breaks away you notice a bit of your red lipstick stains his upper lip. 

“Partner in crime, huh?”, he asks, a smug smile on his face.

“Uh-huh,” you giggle, wiping off the lipstick from his lips.

“I like that. Let’s go, pudding,” he jokes in an exaggerated, undetectable accent as he wears his fedora, grabbing your hand too excitedly as he makes for the door in a laugh.

jungkook

“Baby, isn’t Hoseok’s party in like 3 weeks? It’s the beginning of October!”

“And we’re already too late!,” Jungkook complains. “Look, I don’t mean to outshine anyone in that party, especially not Hoseok since he’s got a lot planned, but we need to have an amazing costume, baby, just for our sake.”

“Okay, so, any ideas?”, you ask.

“Too many to choose”, he says. “It’s a couples costume party, right? So I thought about the most romantic place to look for inspiration since I’m so in love with you and this is an opportunity for me to show everyone how madly we’re in love with each other.”

“Oooh, I like where this is going… Let me guess. Something from Jane Austen? Pride & Prejudice?! Or Shakespeare? Is it Romeo and Juliet?”

“Shakespeare? Jane? What? No, that feels like something only Namjoon and his fiancee will understand. No, baby….,” he pauses for dramatic effect. “DISNEY!”

“Disney?” you ask.

“Yes!” he says excitedly. “Do you… not like it?”

For the split second before your answer, you cringe at the idea of you having to wear a Cinderella-like ballgown, or an Aurora-esque dress… It was the first thing your mind went to, and it was the farthest thing from a costume you’d like to wear, but seeing the sparkle in Jungkook’s eyes, you couldn’t say no.

“I like it!” you reply, trying to match his excitement. “Which couples were you thinking? Cinderella? Snow White? Jane and Tarzan? Belle and The Beast”

“Cinderella and Snow White? Me, the Beast? What? Baby.....no,” he laughs. “ Where is your head at today? Imagine you in a Cinderella gown, I mean I think you’re always beautiful but that’s just not you.. Right?” he asks.

….Well this surely isn’t what you were expecting.

“Right…. Then… What did you have in mind?” you ask, more intrigued than ever, which Jungkook could sense, judging by the readiness in his eyes, and you immediately regret the disappointment you felt when he brought up the idea. Fuck, you could never hide your emotions from him.

“Okay,” he continues with a smile on his face, pulling up a collage of Disney characters on his phone. “I thought of many and I did my research. The only one we can’t do is Woody and Bo Peep because that’s apparently what Hoseok’s doing but I have other options. There are many Disney couples - baby we have to do a marathon soon. Anyways, there are some where one suits me and not you, or you but not me. I went through people like Aladdin and Jasmine, Peter and Wendy, Hercules and Meg, Flynn and Rapunzel…. I know some of those are princesses but they seem more like you? Or we could do Mickey and Minnie - we could borrow Jimin’s Mickey ears but it seems like a last-minute costume so, actually scratch that. We could do the Dalmatians? I know Bam will like that! What’s more ‘us’? I think some cool ones might be Mr. and Mrs. Incredible from The Incredibles? Or what about Jack and Sally from the Nightmare Before Christmas? Baby, there are so many options and I just don’t know what to do and -“

You stop Jungkook by kissing him on the lips - it takes him a moment before he responds and kisses you back.

“Uhm….”

“Jeon Jungkook…..I love you.”

“I love you too,” he replies shyly. “Are my ideas that good?”

“They’re that cute. I’ll tell you what, you pick your favorite.”

“Baby, that's the whole point of this, I can’t pick - you probably know Disney characters better than I do. Which characters are more like us? Or, actually, which ones are the most in love?”

“I don’t know I guess every couple’s love is different.”

“Is there one that’s similar to ours?,” he asks, eyes wide.

“No, our love is ours, Jeon Jungkook.” 

He smiles. “That doesn’t help. See? Do you see, baby? We need something as romantic as that. I’m starting to think we’re more romantic than Disney movies….”

“I have an idea, baby. Let’s pick a few of the couples, work on the costumes for the next few weeks, and then we’ll see what suits us best. I think you have the charms of Peter Pan, but you have the emo soul to be a good Jack Skellington…. and you’d make a pretty accurate Hercules….”

“Hercules, huh?” he raises his eyebrows. “I’ll show you the strength of Hercules rescuing his damsel in distress”. He begins to tickle your waist, and you instinctively attempt to push his hands away, knowing they were making their way to your thighs. 

“Okay, Jungkook, you really need to watch these movies because Meg says that she’s not a damsel in distress!”, you get out, with shrieks and giggles in between.

“Just let me make out with my princess,” he giggles, finally firmly grabbing your waist and pulling you up to his chest, kissing your lips more sweetly and lovingly than any prince in any fairytale you ever watched or read about.

[jinkookspencil]

hi i've been away from tumblr and writing fanfics recently for a number of reasons but first and foremost i have to say: free palestine.

that's really what i wanted to say most of all and it is the most important thing i have to say. i wish i came on here to say it sooner i just didn't think of tumblr at this time.

but while i'm here i just want to also mention that my mental health took a huge dip again and i think i've really fallen out of love with love, which is why writing has been so hard for me :( i just became such a pessimistic cynical person and i fucking hate it (that i've become this way). i think i mentioned this before since i've been struggling with this a lot this year and i've yet to see the light. i don't know how to believe in love anymore but i'm holding onto the fact that i still want to believe in love and believe it exists. at least i have that.

[jinkookspencil]

the quest | ksj

your boyfriend's friends are a great help on your quest for a new hobby, leaving him feeling... irked?

description/tags: kim seokjin / established relationship / angst + a little fluff (the angst slowly builds until it's basically hurt/comfort) / feat. the rest of bts / jealous boyfriend jin / pov switches from yn to jin / no trigger warnings i'd say pg-13 / request from this anon! i hope you like it, sorry it's taken me so long, i wasn't feeling the best. i don't know if that feeling had an impact on the fic - i felt such an urge to rewrite the whole thing and start from scratch because i read it over so many times! that'll just take much longer so.. i might rewrite this sometime in the future or upload a shorter version since it ended up being my longest work ever???

wc: ~8k words

Statistics and relationship coaches claim that every introvert needs an extroverted partner. The extrovert to ‘bring the introvert out of their shell and live a little’ and the introvert to show the extrovert the value of rest and healing in solitude.

But no one who believed any of that crap had met you and Seokjin. You and Jin fit together like the pieces of the puzzles you two loved to solve together on the weekends.

The two of you were too alike: introverted souls with charming social skills and a small group of friends who ultimately loved staying at home and indulging in your stress-relieving hobbies in much-needed peace and quiet. Or so it seemed.

Early on in your relationship, Jin had boasted about his gaming skills to no end, so his irregular, prolonged gaming sessions came as no surprise to you, but considering this, what had been so surprising was the number of friends and hobbies he actually had.

Sure, you had your fair share of the same as well, but Jin did so much more than he ever let on: snowboarding, tennis, fishing, golf, and cooking, to name a few, and he carried them out with friends of all ages, from grandfathers in their sixties who he loved cooking with, to careermen in their thirties he played golf with on the weekends. When he finally invited you to see him in action, you quickly found out that it was as attractive and inspiring as it was surprising…

“All this because I sweat when I play tennis?” he said when his breathing finally returned to normal following his high, still lying naked on the living room couch after he invited you to watch him play.

“Yes… just like you’re sweating now,” you murmured, sitting up from your position between his legs and admiring Jin’s glistening, flushed skin as you grazed his chest and traced the muscles he loved to hide. “I don’t think I ever got the whole ‘jock’ thing being attractive, but it was hot… seeing you all sporty. I wish I could be like that... I want to be. I need more hobbies.”

“What do you mean?” Jin says, sitting up. “You love to read. Everywhere I turn, I see books - if there hadn't been a bed in your old apartment, I’d have thought it was a library, and now my - our - apartment is beginning to look like one.”

“I’m in the worst reading slump of my entire life. I need to do something different. More hobbies. More friends. The girls are great, but… seeing you, I feel as though I want… more. I want to be a better version of myself - and for myself. Don’t they say that happens to you when you find the right person?”

Jin’s lips meet yours once more, briefly, before he pulls away and opens his mouth to whisper. “I understand striving for ‘better’ or ‘more’ baby, but I hope you know that you’re enough. You’re always more than enough. Just the way you are. You’re good. You’re great. You’re beautiful. I love you.”

The simple yet significant words, coupled with Jin cupping your face and brushing your hair to the side, were just what you need at that moment to put your mind at ease, and you easily fall asleep in Jin’s arms.

+

The quest for a hobby was supposed to be simple. Try, and try, and try until you saw what would ‘stick.’

It was clear early on that your boyfriend’s hobbies would never be yours.

Jin begrudgingly demoted you to ‘his sous-chef-for-life’ when you nearly burned the house down three times in your attempts to surprise him with dinner.

His own gaming etiquette got in the way of you ever enjoying a good game with him, for he had no patience with newbies, and you didn’t have the patience to learn all the controls. The only good that attempt did was him buying you a PC and every gaming accessory possible in your favorite colors, even though they mostly went untouched. For his sake, you’d use the Switch controller whenever he insisted on a game of Mario Kart, and you visited your PC every now and then for a slower game. “I’m a GAMER. AND I cook. AND I fish, too,” you tease Jin every time you play Cooking Mama and Animal Crossing for all of 15 minutes.

Fishing, on the other hand, was a scene from your worst nightmare. Being woken up at the crack of dawn to maybe catch a fish after hours of waiting while seasick… was something you swore to Jin you’d never do again. Luckily, he seemed to prefer it as his usual “boy’s time” anyway, even though he never voiced it, and you quickly found out that the exact same could be said for golf - but neither of you minded the occasional role you played from the golf cart, seeing your boyfriend in action and matching in the most bougie athleticwear on the market.

Tennis… was a sight to behold. You had always said that when it came to Jin, attending some of his practice sessions just to bask in the sight and sounds of him on the court, but the same could also be said for you, though in an entirely different context. The racket seemed to reject your very being, flying from your grasp on numerous occasions and putting Jin’s trainer at risk as well as the general public when it went flying over the court’s walls and onto the street. Jin went so far as to dub it ‘the most memorable tennis day of his entire life,’ despite the fact that he had won a small championship.

Until snowboarding season came around, you were left without any new skills or passions shared with your boyfriend. His support and endless words of encouragement meant the world, but iIt had to have been for the better that none of his hobbies were yours - you understood that those were spaces he needed for himself and didn’t want to be the girl whose entire hobby or life was her boyfriend.

Nights and days he spent away were left entirely in your restless hands - try, and try, and try….

“Are you seeing Mina tonight? Nana? Girl’s night?” Jin asks as he puts on his coat.

“They’re still sick,” you pout. “I’ll be waiting here for you, baby.”

“Do you want to come along? Mr. Baek’s kitchen is always open.”

“Didn’t you say you were making some kiwi pie thing today? You know I’m allergic.”

Jin resigns, taking off his coat. “I’ll stay, then.”

You don’t allow him to, handing the thick, fleecy material back to him. “No, baby, I’m fine. Tonight, I’m trying out a new interest: European classical movies. Apparently, French films from the 1960s are very influential and artistic.”

“And boring,” Jin adds. “I watched some at university. You’re better off with Asian cinema.”

“I’ll leave that for whenever you’re free, then,” you say, anticipating the day but quickly putting the thought away. “I’ll be blasting this film so loudly, not even your ‘soundproof’ gaming room would be safe from its jazzy soundtrack.”

Jin smiles before parting his lips, considering the words he was hesitant to speak. “What if… what if I called up Taehyungie and asked him if he’s free to hang out with you?”

You drop your head as you raise your brows. “You’re arranging a play date for your girlfriend? I’m a grown woman, Kim Seokjin. I can entertain myself, much like you can…...” Your voice trails off, thinking of all the failed attempts at entertaining yourself with different hobbies and interests that were anything but interesting.

“It’s just that I know Taehyung would love that! C’mon, you know he would! You seemed to be getting on with him whenever we see the boys, right? Didn’t you both fangirl over Frank Sinatra the last time we hung out?”

“It’s Bing Crosby, honey.”

“There you go - I can’t even tell the difference… but Taehyung can. For what it’s worth, he’s complaining in the group chat non-stop that he’s bored out of his mind. So… why not?”

+

Steps away from his front door, Jin could hear trumpets echoing from his apartment. Taehyung worked his magic, alright, he thought to himself as he inputted the keycode and swung the door open. Jin expected to see the two of you lounging on the couch, watching the film, or simply having the music play through your vinyl player while you chatted away with a glass of wine. What he did not expect was to see the two of you drunkenly dancing in horrible fashion with intertwined hands and Jimin laughing his head off from the couch.

“OH! Speak of the devil!” Jimin cheers, seemingly sober. “Jin-hyung, save me from these two - please.”

In a second, you rush to Jin, screaming his name as you wrap your arms around his neck and messily kiss him on the lips. “Thank God. I can do as the song says and finally dance with mon cherie. Tae, mon ours, go sit.”

A pout appears on Taehyung’s face as he plops beside Jimin, but your eyes are still on your boyfriend, attempting to manhandle him into some form of movement. “Oh, my baby,” he laughs, letting your head rest on his shoulder. “Taehyung, I expected you to take care of her.”

“And that’s why I called Jimin,” Tae babbles, forcing a not-so-innocent childlike expression on his face, pointing at their friend. “We-we’re staying over tonight, okay?”

“Seems like a sleepover already,” Jin tuts.

“Humor her, hyung. I was called in halfway through the film and we’ve yet to finish it because they keep repeating the same scene. She’s been saying she wants to dance with you all night like the girl in the movie does,” Jimin says.

“I’ve never seen this film. I don’t know what to do,” Jin says.

“We’ll teach you,” Taehyung says as tries to rewind the film to whatever dance scene you were talking about, in as bad of a state as you were, which Jin thought would help. “Jimin, stand up.”

Jimin does, allowing Taehyung to latch onto him, and thus is immediately suffocated by the weight of his friend. “Copy my lead, hyung.”

The following morning, Jin is as fiery as the breakfast he’s cooking up on his own, ranting to himself in pout while the three of you only watch on due to your shared lack of cooking skills, hungover and bundled up at the kitchen counter.

“Do you think yoga and meditation suit me as hobbies?” you ask the boys after you and Jin had explained how you came up with ‘the movie night to end all movie nights’ as Taehyung had labeled it.

“With your patience?” Jin scoffs, and you’re quick to shoot him a glare - it stung, perhaps more than it should've, so you quickly put the thought away. Nights alone and countless failed hobbies exhausted your patience, but he hadn't seen that... as you hoped. After all, Jin was always supportive and offered not only to stay the night prior, but also indirectly gave you one of the most memorable movie nights of your life with Taehyung. A soft glare was enough.

“That’s exactly what I mean! You need yoga and meditation, but can you do it? Sit still like that?" You open your mouth to argue but fail to do so at the sight of your shaking knees - he was right. "Oh, hey, you know who else can’t sit still?”

“Who?”

“Jungkookie. You seemed to get on with him, too, no? If you’re looking for something active, why don’t you let him teach you boxing?”

“We do pilates together too, twice a week, if that’s more your thing,” Jimin quickly adds, “You’re free to join us any time.”

“Yah, it’s not easy,” Taehyung jumps in, taking a bite of the breakfast that was now in front of him. “If you want to exercise your creative skills, which is a million times more fun, we can do a painting session together. Just for fun, it doesn’t have to be perfect.”

“Exactly! That’s what I’ve been telling her,” Jin says, pointing his hands in thanks towards Taehyung for echoing the words he'd spoken to you restlessly when you gave up origami and journaling. There had to have been some wisdom in the advice, you think, but your patience had been worn thin... how much more could one person try?

"She wants whatever she does to be ‘perfect’ at the very first attempt, but that’s impossible," Jin continues. "The only perfect thing in the world is her, but even she has to start as a beginner. That’s the point of hobbies - they don’t have to be perfect, you just need to enjoy them.”

“You called me perfect,” you blush, kissing Jin’s cheek. The reminder sufficed to get your legs to stop from beneath the kitchen table, now fiddling with the fabric of his hoodie. It was hard to envision being good enough or interesting, but at the very least, one person had seen you as such. Jin and his constant reminders were the only things that kept you from falling off the deep end... he never let you stray too far, even in your thoughts, nudging you towards Jimin when your head started to rest against his shoulder the way it always did when you needed reassurance.

“Pilates does sound interesting…” you mumble.

“Good!” Jimin cheers. “Tomorrow. You, me, Jungkookie.”

“Oh, but first,” you pause, holding Jin’s arm. His eyebrow is already raised, knowing you were about to tease him. “Are you sure it’s alright for me to go work out with your very fit and adorable young friends?”

“I am sure, brat,” Jin says, rolling his eyes before quickly whispering to Jimin, “Make sure Jungkookie keeps his shirt on.”

+

One pilates session with Jungkook and Jimin quickly turned into two, which turned into three, which turned into boxing sessions with Jungkook alone, regular morning jogs with Jimin, and a newfound love for fitness. Boxing made you feel stronger, and Jungkook’s thoughtful observations and comments were of more help and motivation than your now-shared instructor. And catching the sunrise at dawn really was as beautiful and as ‘worth it’ as the annoying health gurus claim to be, something you and Jimin begrudgingly admitted to.

Jin had been supportive as he always was.... up until the day you almost fainted, scolding Jungkook and Jimin for not being more careful of you and insisting you take a week-long break.

“But honey, I don’t want to stop so abruptly! I’m on a roll and I miss the boys already! And for the record, they are always so considerate. I messed up and did more than I should've, but I'm fine today!” you pout, laying on the couch with a hot compress on your core to relieve your soreness and snacking on a fruit bowl, as Jin instructed and prepared.

“My love, you’re exhausted. I don’t want to hear any more of it for at least five days….” he tuts, carefully placing kinesiology tape on your skin. “I hate seeing you this upset, though. You said you feel as though your brain ‘opened up’ when you began exercising, right? Well, why don’t you try exercising that beautiful brain? Take Taehyung up on his offer and take an art class together.”

So you do. Sandwiched between Taehyung and Jungkook at back-to-back painting sessions, you were inspired by their very different approaches to their shared hobby. Tae had his signature style that seemed to effortlessly flow out of him and onto the canvas every time, whereas Jungkook tried a different approach, concept, tool, or style at every session. Both boys seemed like natural talents, but you found peace and awe in Taehyung’s freedom of expression and especially Jungkook’s itch to learn and try new things so fearlessly time & time again...

It was hard to tell what you would create from session to session, slapping paint on a rough pencil sketch every time, but with every stroke of your paintbrush and conversation with the boys, you could breathe a little better...

“Ya, with all these colors… Is this what Namjoon-hyung calls ‘modern art’?” Jungkook teases, staring at your latest creation. You’re quick to poke him with the paintbrush for teasing you, and he’s quick to reassure you.

“It’s Pollock-y, dear Jungkookie the Artist Who Hates Learning Art History,” Taehyung explains. “It is art.”

+

to: my love [6:01pm]: hey, how’s the art class going? how are the boys?

to: prince charmjin [6:32pm]: good! we’re basically done!! we’re going out for dinner. jungkookie is hungry and i think I owe him for making him listen to my rant on the injustice women face and how society is built on misogyny

to: my love [6:34pm]: hehehe knowing jk, he was willingly listening, like i did. even he’d agree that you don’t him dinner. i made pasta at home..

to: prince charmjin [6:51pm]: aw :( we’re already at the steakhouse. maybe jk will be in the mood for pasta later too though

to: my love [7:01pm] have fun :)

to: prince charmjin [8:58pm] on my way home, honey. tae’s dropping me off. jungkook wanted to come but he’s asleep right beside me and he’s tae’s next stop.

to: my love [9:02pm]: good, they’re taking care of you just as i asked them to

to: prince charmjin [9:04pm]: they’re the bestest boys. i don’t need them to take care of me though. :3

“They’re my babies, and I love them,” you remark to Jin after showing him your latest creation, a matching one-of-three painted self-made pottery sculpture with the boys.

The younger boys were your safe space, he thought. Good. And… so am I.

“And I’m your biggest baby that you love the most,” Jin smiles, pouting his lips in want of a kiss. When you grant his wish, a feeling washes over him… one that he couldn’t help but identify as temporary. A seconds-lasting painkiller. “I guess you get the younger boys, and I get the older ones. I’m closer to them anyway. You’ve met them all, haven’t you? Namjoon and Yoongi? And Hobi, of course.”

“Hoseok is always here, Seokjin, so of course, but I think I’ve heard of Namjoon and Yoongi more times than I’ve actually seen or met them. Do they have any hobbies I can steal? The boys mentioned something about Namjoon and art?”

“Namjoon is art. In that he's beautiful and unbelievable, but also that he is interested in anything and everything art-related - museums, galleries, exhibitions, and all that crap. And fitness, so… there’s that,” Jin says, instantly regretting his words at the memory of Namjoon working out, grateful for remembering his friend’s most unenjoyable hobby to move on to. “Oh, he actually hikes! He meditates in the mountains like a wise old man afterwards. Hoseok likes dance, of course, but he also loves fashion. Yoongi likes fishing and drinking with me only,” Jin emphasizes, having always been proud and appreciative of the fact that he’d been the only one who was ever able to get Yoongi to join in on another’s hobby. “By himself, Yoongi plays basketball.... he’s studying, he plays tennis, fencing, he reads, produces, he scrapbooks, he gardens, he runs, he gardens, he flies, he soars! He actually might be Superman.”

You roll your eyes, prompting Jin to explain. “Sorry, inside joke with the boys. Yoongi does so much and is so secretive about it all that I wouldn’t be surprised if all of that is true. But he’d say he’s Batman rather than Superman, actually. I’m Superman… right?”

Jin places his hands on his hips, buffing out his chest and glancing at you through his periphery, hoping his extra hours at the tennis court paid off whenever you'd had an art or fitness session with the boys. He had to know if you saw him as such, as some type of Superman… especially after the countless times you’d trained with Jungkook and Jimin. Though he tried to push the thought away, the image bit at him, even now when was messing around. A seed of something he couldn't quite name...

When your hands are on his shoulders, trailing down his chest, he begins to relax. Even more so when you use his fork to finally take a bite of the dinner he’d prepared. Perhaps he’d been too worried.

“Well, we both know I don’t need saving, but I’ll play along, my handsome Superman. This Lois Lane wants to meet and investigate the interests of the rest of your Justice League, baby.”

“Okay,” Jin murmurs. “Who should we start with?”

“Namjoon? Hey, he’d probably be Aquaman, huh? Same nature shit, apparently, and definitely the same body.”

Perhaps he hadn’t been too worried.

+

to: prince charmjin [9:02am]: i am texting you from the beyond. from the spiritual realm.

to: prince charmjin [9:03am]: come climb up this fucking mountain and bury your girlfriend she’s dead and hates her life and didn’t pack enough water

to: prince charmjin [9:03am]: you’ll know the way, my blood, sweat, and tears left a trail

to: prince charmjin [9:04am]: i gotta admit it’s pretty tho (1 image attached)

Knew it.

Jin was rarely a smug man, but he couldn’t help but indulge in the feeling when he’d woken up to your texts and later when you trudged into the apartment, resigning from a hiking day with Namjoon and swearing you’d never do it again. He guessed you’d hate every second of it but didn’t want to hold you back from your mission and trying something new. His pride is quickly squashed, however, when you follow up the sentence with a declaration that he’d invited you to the opening of an art exhibit the very next day.

“I’m his VIP guest, honey,” you cheer, kissing Jin on the cheek. “And I’m going to the afterparty too so you can have a boy’s night - call your grandpa friends! Oh, it’ll be past their bedtime, won’t it?”

He forces a chuckle. “I hate that that’s true. Plus, I’ve seen way too many people this week, so I’ll game til the early hours of the day - just like I did when I was single.”

Jin hates that the thought had left his lips. It was honest, he had missed his gaming marathons when he never had someone to go to bed to, but it was cruel to mention. He hated the idea that some part of him meant it as such, as a signal, a cry, anything… you never said such words or guilted him when he’d been busy. It was spiteful, it wasn’t like him…. or was it?

“Oh, great! I know you used to love those game-a-thon things. I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t realize you stopped because of me. I hope you know you can do those at any time, okay? I won’t mind.”

Something turned in Jin’s stomach. The seed of what he could only label as worry was now an undeniable pit at his very core.

He should be ecstatic at the fact that you were so accepting of him possibly spending an ungodly amount of hours gaming… but it was too accepting. A smile was on your face, but for the first time in your relationship, Jin couldn’t read what it was - as though a sudden, unknown filter stood between you. Was it temptation? An unthinkable impulse he sensed on your end... Joy, relief, or freedom? Perhaps it was, Jin couldn't tell. It ate at him now, and instead of surrendering, he fought with what he had left.

This… this was the least he could do for you, he told himself, thinking of all the ways he came up short as a boyfriend where others succeeded.

He replayed the image over and over again - the way your eyes light up after every acquired skill or hobby. Your subsequent, beautiful smile seemed like the only thing he could hold on to, keeping aside the anxieties surrounding the reasons behind it. It had to be reminder enough. Seeing you happy made him happy. He knew that…. but he also knew that something dark festered within him. He didn’t like it… he didn’t like it all…

+

to: y/n [5:30pm] on my way home

to: y/n [5:35pm] just got here… where are you?

to: y/n [6:01pm] are you working out?

to: y/n [6:02pm] hey?

Jin needed to blow off some steam.

Gaming didn’t work. The incompetent online players he was paired with only infuriated him further, and the shot he took only made his heart race faster. He thought to spend some time in the kitchen, but he couldn’t help but overthink, indecisive over whether to cook dinner for the two of you or just for himself. When a thought came to mind - to cook something you’d hate just to spite you for not answering his texts and calls with no prior warning or explanation - he quickly discarded the whole idea. He wasn’t hungry anyway.

A best friend would do, he figured.

When it came to opening up, he could only ever trust his younger friends - the ’grandpas’ as you liked to call them, often gave him outdated advice he never cared for. Plus, they didn’t know him like the boys did - since they now know you as well, Jin figured it was the best-case scenario. Surely, they’d have something to say.

But another hour passes, and still, none of Jin’s messages were seen or answered. The younger boys hadn’t answered when he’d asked if they knew of your whereabouts, and the older ones didn’t answer his calls or texts to talk. His skin began to crawl…

until he remembered the failsafe. Out of everyone, Hobi was the only person who still revealed his live location on a social media app to his friends. It was something Jin in particular scolded him for, knowing it was a safety breach, but now, he was thankful for it.

Of course, he’s still at the damn dance studio.

+

Is that…?

Chills shiver down Jin’s body the second he hears the music through the studio’s walls. It’s a song he knows too well… and so do you.

Following the music with long and forceful strides that echo through the corridors, Jin bursts open the door to Hoseok’s own practice room. And his stormy intrudance is proven to be justified.

In front of the mirror were you and Hoseok, dancing too close together to a song from Jin’s secret sex playlist, surrounded by the rest of the boys, watching closely and making teasing noises that shook his very core.

“YA!”

Jin’s voice booms throughout the spacious room, overtaking the loud music playing through every speaker. The group scatters, every person with a horrified look on their face…. yours hurt the most.

Rage was unfamiliar to Jin. He didn’t know what to do with it, feeling it then and there. One would normally shout or yell, question and guilt, as he’s seen and studied before… but his lips were frozen in a frown. He wondered if it was common for one to cry out of fury, though no tears streamed down his face… he knew how to hold them back. His senses confused him, distorted, forced to venture into uncharted territory. Jin could hear differing calls of “Hyung” and what must’ve been excuses as someone turned off the music - all muffled and intelligible. Through it all, he could hear only the soft call that left your lips amidst the chaos, “Jin, my love…”

With his eyes still fixated on you and the words that ease his sole, the knot within him came undone.

His throat throbs and everyone knew what it meant, though no one was close enough to see the pools in his eyes.

“Everyone leave,” you command, and the room is empty save for you and Jin within seconds.

The downpour starts. Though his face was frozen cold, Jin’s body allowed him to move, and all he could do was pace the studio and ignore your small steps toward him. When he finally stops, you’re close enough to stand before him, your head no longer hung so low. The guilt on your face was almost enough to make Jin forget his feelings.

“….I’m so sorry, my love,” you say after a moment’s silence. His lips tremble at the words, wanting to refute them… he doesn’t need to say it for you to understand.

His breath is hitched when he sees your hand extend towards his face, which he tilts just as he always would when you did this. He exhales as you do when you cup his face so gently, moving to your touch as his tears are wiped away. But when your hand brushes over his mouth, he can’t bring himself to purse his lips into a kiss as he always would. The dark seed within him still tugged him back from fully diving in.

“Sit for a moment?” you ask, and he nods, feeling his knees giving way as you lead him to the two weirdly placed chairs by the giant mirror wall in Hoseok’s studio. While you sit with your side to the back of the chair to face him better, he slumps against the hardwood backing, staring at the ceiling as his eyes dry up so he can finally face you once again.

“I can’t talk much. I.. what is this? What am I?” he mumbles with a strained voice, pushing the skin at his temples. “Fuck… I’ve tried rehearsing this, and even then, the words just didn't come out. I can't put a name on it, but I don’t like what’s been happening. All of it. No… No, not all of it.” Jin breathes deeply before continuing. “My girlfriend is never around, and not only that, she spends all her time with my best friends… without me. I know you’re on your journey for more self-discovery and that you really like the boys, so I feel like a piece of shit for feeling this way and for saying this, but… fuck, I’m... I'm angry.”

Jin sees you take in his words, brushing away a couple of runaway tears. “I understand. You have every right to be pissed,” you repeat. “I… shit, I’m sorry, Jin. I never meant to exclude you, my love. The boys don’t either… but that doesn't excuse it... It doesn't." You go stone cold, as though you were replaying the time that's passed over and over in your head. "Will you allow me to talk for a little while? Can I… unpack it all on my end?”

How could he not? Jin nods.

“I learned a whole lot on this 'quest’ which started with your support, I may add - and I’m not blaming you here. I’m thanking you, honey… You’ve been incredible.”

Already, Jin starts feeling sick, hearing the words of a definite breakup speech and knowing that he was the furthest thing from incredible. His friends were. All he can do is watch, now looking at his fingers as he bites his own nails on an unsteady hand.

"Most guys would never even suggest to their girlfriend the idea of her hanging out with his friends - alone. I'm so grateful, honey, and not only that, it actually might be one of the sweetest, most attractive things you've ever done..."

H-huh? Jin tugged at his own sweater, thinking of the possible ways you'd get to the end of your speech and the conclusion that stated what he ultimately feared - that the attraction, or worse, the love, wore off with all you were left with.

“But most of all, I'm grateful. I'm different. I probably wasn't around that much for you to see, but... on this quest, it was as though I unlocked parts of myself I didn't know I had. That was a past version of me, the girl who was in an eternal reading slump, and was too scared to do much else but stay in that slumpish cocoon... I love my cocoon and staying in, don't get me wrong, but I just have more things that give me joy. I feel more certain of myself - like more of that confidence you rubbed off on me. It seems trivial, I know, but everything... everything helped."

You were right. Jin hadn't seen any of it - the rewards of your quest. He cursed himself, knowing he could have if he only paid attention, recalling warped memories of your pride and new experiments. He didn't have to take your word for it, seeing some of it now. You were more sure of yourself. Bold. Happier. That one note settled it - if this grand speech were to end the way he had expected, all that mattered was that. That you were happier.

"That's good," he croaks. "I'm proud."

"I'm proud of myself, too," you nod. "I am the slightly more improved version of myself I knew I could be. Maybe I could be even better, I don't know... but through it all, I kept repeating to myself the same phrase, over and over again. 'You’re enough. You’re always more than enough. Just the way you are. You’re good. You’re great. You’re beautiful. I love you.' Those words... that's what kept me going more than anything."

Jin's breath is hitched when he's finally able to look at you so directly, at the woman he loved with his entire being, quoting his own words. He had meant every word then, prior, all throughout, and would for eternity. If those simple words were enough to help, though he was certain they were not enough to capture the depth of his love, he had served his purpose in life.

"I was entirely motivated by self-love and your love for me, Seokjinnie. I fucking love you," you exhale, and Jin does too, coming undone. All he could do was hang his head low as the tears instantly return, and in seconds, you're at his knees, reaching for him. Like he'd foolishly been dreaming of...

"I don't deserve you. I've been so... so..." his low voice trails off.

"My love, let me finish, hmm? It'll help," you whisper, trying to hold onto any piece of him, and Jin lets you, feeling a rush through his very soul at him being called as such by you. He just hoped he wasn't awaiting more cushioning for a devastating blow... even so, it was one he was now reminded to fight for.

"I have to talk about the boys. I obviously enjoy the hobbies I do with the baby boys - you remember when I told you how I love how strong I feel now? How I feel creative for the first time since high school? That holds up, and in truth, the boys are just angels. I developed such a close friendship with Jiminie, Taehyungie, and Jungkookie that I don't think I can let that go. I just adore them…. and so much so that I’ve been trying to set them up with the girls - Nana, Kiki, and Mina.”

A breath escapes Jin, his fingers stroking his chin. It made sense, he thought. Nana and Taehyung in particular would be perfect together…

“I know you’re closer with the older boys, and I haven’t forgotten them. Namjoon is very cool, but… pretty much none of what he likes works for me. Hiking is as bad as fishing, no offense, and art is only fun when we’re mindlessly having fun in the studio. Otherwise…” You scrunch your nose at the thought, shaking your head violently in disapproval - the endearing act that never fails to make him giggle, even now. “The only reason we keep in touch is to talk books, which… you know I’ve always liked,” you explain.

Jin nods. You and Namjoon’s reading speeds always made him feel like a third-grader. You’d sooner finish reading a 700-page book than learn how to make a simple grilled cheese sandwich - Namjoon was the same. In a world where most people were not as such, at least you two clumsy nerds know of each other, he thought.

“Dancing was… always on my list of things to try, believe it or not. You were there when I brought it up to Hoseok,” you recall the interaction you’d had weeks ago, and so does Jin, who had been so taken aback at your suggestion to Hoseok, having assumed you’d want fashion or social media advice from his savvy friend. You’d never danced sober more than simply swaying, even on the most private occasions… there was never any reason for him to know dancing was always a thing you’d wanted to try... but then again, perhaps the 'new you' had been buried too deeply. But it took guts to ask Hoseok - he knew you knew that as well - the sheer courage and confidence that must've settled in only recently….

“But…. I pretty much told him that I didn’t want him to teach me anymore after the first lesson. He’s like… really fucking scary, Jin, holy shit. I know you've mentioned it, but I didn’t think he was capable of being like that! I thought he was going to kill me!” Another giggle escapes him at your shock. If you had simply run the idea by him, he’d have told you that already, he thinks to himself, as he did after your hike with Namjoon, but he chooses to say it out loud this time. “Oh, lesson learned, believe me, honey. I passed it off as me wanting a female instructor, which I do. Because well….I couldn’t tell Hoseok I wanted to learn burlesque dancing now, could I?”

“Bur-burlesque?!” Jin says, leaning forward as if it’d make him hear any better.

“Mhmm….” The faint, smug smile on your face calmed his heart - it’d been a while since he’d seen you as such - but it did nothing to calm his mind. Just the mental image of you…. “And pole dancing too. I keep telling my instructor that I want to surprise my boyfriend, so she helped me come up with some choreography involving… things you like.”

Jin’s excitement fades when he remembers - the song. “Was that what you were showing the boys?! When I walked in….”

“As if. That’d be for your eyes only, honey. When you walked in, we were just teasing Jimin about something stupid. The song just came up on shuffle.”

Jin shakes his head and stands up to pace the room, replaying the scene once again and scolding himself. Once again, it’s as though you can read his thoughts. “It probably looked odd from your angle…”

“Why was everyone there? Wait, was that Yoongi in here too?” It’d taken Jin this long to realize Yoongi had been present as well. Save for the makeshift therapy session Jin had wanted to have earlier in the day, he had been trying to schedule appointments with Yoongi all week - a needed fishing trip and a work meeting, but his friend only ever answered when Jin had been fast asleep. Had Yoongi been here for Hoseok? Jimin?

“My day started with Yoongi,” you sigh.

You?! The one person who knew of his desperate attempts to get to Yoongi?! he thought, so shocked he had to sit down, opting for the space on the floor in front of you instead of the chair.

”No secrets, especially since I’m laying everything out today. It was my first time hanging out with Yoongi, just so you know. I wanted to pick out a good anniversary gift for you since that’s coming up, and we went shopping for all these fancy liquors. Then, he was just meant to drop me off here at the studio, and after my lesson, I found out he just stayed since Hoseokie was already here in the other room with Jimin, Jungkook, and Taehyung. And Namjoon… he was just here, I guess. Actually, I think he’s hiding that he’s dating one of Hoseok’s dancers. The boys seemed to tease him about it?”

“Oh shit, good. He’s always had a crush on her,” Jin smiles to himself. It starts out as happiness for his dear friend, knowing how deeply Namjoon’s affections could run, and when the crush began. It was right at the start of Jin’s own relationship with you. At that time, for the first time in over a decade, Jin finally understood his friend. Namjoon loved love. He got so caught up in the idea and complexities of love, talking endlessly about how it’s the center of the universe, tying everything together. “It is science,” Jin would always rebuff until he couldn’t. Until he understood. He wasn't going to forget any of it again - not even for a second.

And once again, the woman he loved cups his face, searching his watery eyes, and kneeling on the floor in front of him.

"….Did you ever feel this way?"

You consider his words and think over yours. "Angry? A little jealous? ....Lonely? If that's what you've been feeling... Yes, sometimes."

“Then you don’t have to be sorry, my love. I’m sorry I got angry more than anything.  I… didn’t like that. That wasn’t me…. was it?”

“Not the usual you, but it’s the human you. It’s within reason… I never saw you get jealous before, which is a green flag since I know you trust me - as you should! And I trust you! But still, as someone who gets jealous over you often… it weirdly reassured me, I guess? That you still want me.”

“…. Wait, you get this often?!” Jin blinks.

“Honey, I feel jealous whenever anyone follows their urge to say you’re handsome, which is very often. I always wish I could answer with ‘AND HE’S MINE’ and giggle like a little leprechaun who's hoarding a pot of gold all for himself,” you say with a tone so serious it makes Jin erupt in his signature dolphin-noise laugh for the first time that night.

“I’m always yours! And I always want you! Honey… this is a dark feeling. How do you deal with it often…. I… I never want to feel this way ever again,” he exhales, tugging on the fabric of your top before your hand covers his.

“I deal with it because you always remind me that you’re mine and I’m yours, like you did just now. Because you make sure I know you love me. I… I try. I promise I’ll try harder, my love.”

“No, honey, you do more than enough. I know you love me. I do. I was just… blinded, I guess, which I fucking hate. I… I thought I’d be stronger, better than to fall into this stupid mental rut.”

“You’re human. You’re my human,” you smile, hand slowly trailing down Jin’s cheek but lingering your touch over his pursed lips. Jin’s hands find your waist, and your arms immediately wrap themselves over his shoulders. When your racing hearts calm together in sync, and your breathing follows, the world falls into place and both of your meaningless defenses yield. Your bodies and spirits rest against one another, tired, aching, and longing. Jin wanted just this. To keep you close, for all eternity, if he could… if you’d wanted the same. He’s reassured when his attempt to tighten his embrace falls short, realizing how closely you’ve been holding him in turn. It was physically impossible to be any closer, and still, it wasn’t enough. Exhaling against you, with a hand somewhere in your hair at your back and the other holding your head, his senses overwhelm him once again. It’s too much, the love he’d felt at that moment. Dreamlike, even when he notices that his hand had been lying right over your bra strap. And he remembers even more.

“So… burlesque, huh?” Jin smirks.

“What do you think the chairs are here for?” Turning, Jin’s jaw drops when sees the two now-empty chairs. He tries to hide his excitement by covering his face when he sees you, sure it is red already.

“Oh, with a reaction like this, I’m definitely keeping it as a hobby then. I’m good at it too,” you smile, brushing his hair. “It’ll be good and all for you, baby. Painting random shit and fitness has been fun, especially with the younger ones, and burlesque will be for the both of us. But! My quest is not over, and my introverted self is not fulfilled just yet. I still have crocheting, writing, blogging, and photography to try out. I want something that’s entirely mine.”

“I promise that I support you with trust, love… always,” Jin thinks over his words, fidgeting with his fingers.

“And…I’m…..entirely yours,” he says quietly, a smile finally fixed on his face.

“And I’m yours,” you say with a smile, finally pulling Jin into a kiss that he can’t help but melt into. It’s soft, quick pecks and affectionate murmurs until you straddle his lap. Suddenly, it’s as though your entire mature conversation and successful attempt at communication never happened, and you replayed it all then and there. He reaches for you, pulling you down and onto him until you gasp. At that, Jin’s hand at your nape pushes you into his kiss, and you let him. He bites at your lower lip, moaning when you’re quick to do the same back, yet his sounds grow louder when he lets you passionately kiss him all over. In a fight for stability, he grabs onto the nearby chair and breaks away so suddenly.

“The - the damn boys are still here. I think I heard something break in the corridor - it’s either Namjoonie or Jiminie.”

You open your mouth to say something but don’t, looking at Jin instead. “If they’ve been trying to eavesdrop and want the gist of it, how would you like it if I fake moaned your name a bit too loudly so they know I’m yours and only yours?”

“It doesn’t have to be fake, though, does it?” he asks, leaning back on his elbows and lying in wait, positioned in front of the mirror. Seeing a turn in your gaze seconds before you pounce on top of him, Jin is electrified. Your name leaves his lips and his yours, not just as a moan but a promise. A quest of his own. To make you happier and happier for as long as he lived and more. To find a new way to love you every single day. You deserved as many as the universe had to offer.