#like i was literally having a breakdown this one time crying to my sister and she looked at me ignoring everything i said and went

[werewolfbneimitzvah]

vent post. There are two stories i was told in my teenage years that even before i had a real concept of trans issues made me uninterested in discussing the supposed sacredness and safety of separated sex-based spaces.

First, when i was like 13 or 14 my PE teacher told us about a time she went to a women's public restroom, some guy was hanging out outside the bathrooms, she didn't think anything of it, went to the bathroom, and he walked in after her and like, creeped on her over the top of the stall. She was ok, she wasn't telling us this to scare us, just telling us what to do in situations like that (and iirc she was telling the whole co-ed class this, not just girls, bc it's useful for everyone), but this taught me immediately and forever that there's nothing actually keeping these spaces separate really, that anyone can be a creep in any space, and that establishing a space like that as for women only isn't actually particularly useful for safety.

Second, when i was 16 i was at an anime convention, a friendly acquaintance of mine and i ended up in conversation outside, and he showed me his bare wrist and told me he'd been kicked out. A female friend of his had stepped in dog poop outside, and between that and the stress of the convention she'd had a bit of an emotional breakdown, so being her friend, he started comforting her and ushered her into the women's restroom so they could wash the poop off her shoe together. And because he was a man who went into the women's bathroom, he got kicked out, no matter that he was doing something that was actually beneficial to a woman. Punishing a woman's friend for supporting her was supposed to... protect her somehow? This made it clear to me that a no-exceptions rule separating the sexes like that wasn't actually inherently good for everyone.

And this isn't even getting into me as a child needing to accompany my younger sister to the restroom when we were out with just my dad because she had certain support needs past the age he felt comfortable bringing her into the men's room with him. And what if I'd been born a boy, or she'd been the first born? Who's helping her then?

And of course even putting all this aside, we should always prioritize compassion and support anyway. But i never even needed to meet a trans person to know that "keeping men out of women's bathrooms" is silly nonsense. But trans people also need to pee anyway and as humans they have that right, so leave them the fuck alone. your precious women's restroom is just a fucking room with a door, holy shit give it a fucking rest, if someone is attacking you in the bathroom that's bad and if someone is in there to pee that's good and it doesn't fucking matter what their junk is or was when they were born.

a woman could have done the exact same thing to my PE teacher and it would have also been bad no matter how "supposed" to be in the restroom she was, and no one should ever be punished for helping a crying friend wash their shoe.

Anyway i know I'm speaking to like-minded folks here, i just think about those two stories literally every time bathroom gender shit comes up and it pisses me off.

[hello7soone]

i really win in life knowing i look cute when i cry <3

[anarcho-smarmyism]

genuinely my ex is all over reddit right now accusing me of doxing and suicide baiting him while I told him repeatedly someone had hacked my Google account and Tumblr and he refused to even consider he could be wrong about that, no matter what I said, just like he refused to believe that I would ever leave him for refusing to make ANY friends outside of me that he could talk to duing his constant nervous breakdowns, usually cumulating in threats of self-harm and suicide. he attempted suicide in front of me MULTIPLE TIMES and told me over and over that if I left him he would die because his wealthy, "respectable" abusive Mormon family wouldn't take him in (they did, immediately, as soon as he actually asked. Go figure). He hated everyone I introduced him to, insisted people were "glaring at him and yelling at him" whenever we went out even to the GYM, and would incessantly bother me every time I went out alone. he would accuse me of "yelling" anytime I sounded angry, even if I was speaking at regular volume. every time I said I wanted to leave him, especially if I was crying, he would give me this condescending look and remind me that I would lose my job and my housing if he stopped letting me borrow his car -the car his older, better sister gave him, BTW, because he has never (and probably WILL never) earn a single thing for himself in his entire life. when i did leave him, he was NONSTOP trying to use financial incentives and/or threats of calling the police to falsely accuse me of stealing that damn car to get me to somehow interact with him -even though I told him over and over that we shouldn't be talking at the moment because I was too stressed and angry to be civil. He didn't care; he wanted to manipulate me into staying and being his free nurse maid for the rest of my life however he could.

the last straw after roughly 5 straight years of this was when he refused to stop texting and calling me about where his fucking Playstation remote controller was, even though I told him getting notifications while I drive is dangerously distracting for me (I have severe untreated ADHD; if you're poor in the areas I live doctors straight up do not give a fuck), even though he knew I was working as a home healthcare aide and needed to focus on the needs of my physically disabled patient while I was at work he would NOT stop bothering me no matter what I said or did. Then when I finally managed to get my most important stuff out of that house and he wouldn't stop calling and texting threatening self harm again, and I called the local police telling them he needed to be committed to the psych ward again, the cops beat him up and left him there....which he CONTINUES to blame on me, as if I control the fucking police. The last couple times I talked to him he admitted he's been hearing voices for weeks but the local hospitals won't take him because he won't tell them he's suicidal. So which is it?

For years, he was literally only not accusing me of neglecting or abusing him when I was either working or at home, paying attention to him or whatever he wanted to watch on TV. He wouldn't even put noise canceling earphones on so that I could play video games while he slept (im loud when im having fun; he was raised with upper middle class Mormon suburban social mores, I wasn't). He didn't care what I needed or wanted in my life or from our relationship whatsoever; no matter what I did to improve my mental health or try to go back to school or encourage him to also take better care of himself, he always found a way to sabotage me so i ended up wasting my life sitting next to him on the couch, so he would never have to cope with a single evening of social anxiety by going anywhere at all with me or anybody else! I made the mistake of trying to help him with his mental health when no one else would, and he decided that meant taking care of him was now my life's work.

He ruined so many jobs and friendships for me this way, my family who took us both in cut me off for not leaving a man who would literally throw himself to the ground like a toddler if he was """having a panic attack""", and when I left him what does he do? Make multiple phone numbers to harass me while I was trying to stay away from him and secure housing for me and our cats (2 of which HE insisted on getting, all of which he wanted to abandon in a shelter instead of even just asking his stepdad if he could take HIS cat home with him!), multiple tumblr accounts to cyberstalk me, and go on Reddit to recruit these sexist, gullible mouth-breathers to try and ruin my life for something I didn't do but he actually did. I have proof of him ADMITTING to this, to going off his medications and not sleeping for over 7 days ("handling the breakup badly" in his words); I have proof of everything on the same device I finally blocked him on. whoever has my Google account used it to send my new email a threat that they would follow me to the ends of all worlds to make sure I'm known as a monster at the behest of this actual fucking admitted insane person who actually abused me, financially and emotionally, for years because he assumed he could trap me and I couldn't do anything about it. it got so bad he was trying to control my MEALS and insisting i was insane for not eating the way he wanted me to. Even now I'm struggling to get someone to let me borrow an actual working computer so I can secure ANY of my own stuff, and I'm being slandered as some kind of abusive criminal matermind by a bunch of idiots who armchair diagnosed me as a narcissist borderline psychopath ETC because redditors are easy to goad into an online mob against any Bad Woman, especially someone's ex. if you tell them someone's a crazy bitch, they just take you at your word.

so yeah. For the time being that's my side of the story, as loath as I am to dignify this and have an embarrassing messy public flame war with my ex, it's clear I can't just ignore it because him and his "hacker buddies" are actually guilty of what they're accusing me of.

[dmercer91]

ebug's sister, dm91

part one / part two / part three / part four /

i accidentally deleted this with ctrl z THREE TIMES i was going to have a mental breakdown

blakefriarr_

liked by dawson1417, edwards.73, and 5,612 others

blakefriarr_: my brother's an ebug, episode four!

i thought my last post was missing something, and i decided it was eyebrows looking horrified at something in front of him, so that’s back. see slide four

from the top, though, slide one is rowdy and merc sitting on the bench. nothing special other than dawson very closely inspecting the blade of his stick

then we have daws in the sin bin repenting for his crimes. they give them little juice boxes like school children!! go to timeout and have your lil drink, it’ll make you less prone to felonies <3. he’s even matching with the zebra, cute!

fifth and not finally, we have dawson, again, looking all cute n shit, to balance things out, obviously, cause this post didn’t have enough of him already.

actually finally, we have me and jj (we’re about to express a light to moderate amount of emotion, babes. viewer direction is advised)

jj let me literally cry on his shoulder last night, and this morning he brought me (i drove, but that’s besides the point cause he initiated it) on an impromptu shopping spree!! some old hag looking bitch at work screamed at me for something that was entirely out of my control and made me cry about seventeen minutes into my eight hour shift yesterday, and twin mode was very activated in him.

he even bought us those dazzling glasses and posed for my photo, AND he stood outside the dressing rooms while i tried clothes on and gave me very crucial information on wether or not i should buy things (one nod for yes, a look of complete disgust for meh, and a dumbass smile for ‘this looks great but i refuse to say it even though we are biologically the same and look almost identical’)

thank you, slightly older brother, for being there for me and listening to me complain about my often overwhelming and underpaid job <3 i love you like 96% of the time

view 691 comments..

jj.friar31: you're welcome, slightly younger sister <3 i love you like 97% of the time

→ blakefriarr_: aww that's like a lot of the time

jj.friar31: every time you whip out hockey vocab like stick blade i am painfully reminded of the year i didn't try out for rep and we played on the same team

→ blakefriarr_: why are you acting like stick blade is extravagant hockey lingo

→ jj.friar31: mom calls it the bendy part

dougieham: i'm scared to ask.. you played hockey??

→ blakefriarr_: i was an enforcer.

→ jj.friar31: she's not kidding.

rutgermcgroarty: slay

adamfantilli: slay

nicohischier: the face was cause i saw jj in the stands and i know you're his ride. also, don't call me 'eyebrows' ever again

→ blakefriarr_: well what else am i supposed to call you

→ nicohischier: nico????

→ blakefriarr_: why would i ever call you nico that is completely absurd

seamuscasey26: slay

dawson1417: i feel appropriately appreciated every time jj is the ebug cause i get ample screen time in these glorious things

→ blakefriarr_: what is the inappropriate amount of appreciation

→ dawson1417: this, usually. but for you there is no inappropriate amount, appreciate me as much as you want

→ drayanewman: AYO

dawson1417: also, you got yelled at?

→ blakefriarr_: customer service core

→ dawson1417: text me :(

→ jj.friar31: you have his NUMBER!?!?!?!!?!?

→ blakefriarr_: shhhhhh you're sleep typing go back to bed

dylanduke25: slay

jackhughes: did you just call me rowdy

→ blakefriarr_: it can read

→ jackhughes: how did you find that classified information

→ blakefriarr_: there's a groupchat.

→ jj.friar31: you have MULTIPLE of their phone numbers?!?!?!?!

→ blakefriarr_: i thought i told you to go back to sleep what are you still doing here

→ trevorzegras: can i be part of this groupchat you speak of

→ blakefriarr_: ariana what are you doing here

→ blakefriarr_: but also yeah i'll get quinner to add you

mackie.samo: slay

ryangraves27: your camera is on dawson

→ blakefriarr_: whatever this was (a question? a statement? an observation? a complaint? all of the above? fucked if i know) i hated it

→ blakefriarr_: please use at least a question mark, a period, something, ANYTHING, gravy i'll give you your own post. do you want jj? you can have jj this is like an ad for him tbh great emotional support entity

→ dawson1417: gravy i will pay you actual american dollars to ensure you do not get your own post before i do

→ blakefriarr_: that is really sweet, daws, but i cannot go on like this please

markestapa: slay

edwards.73: slay

→ blakefriarr_: ok i've had enough @/lhughes_06 WHAT have you done

→ lhughes_06: i have no idea what you're talking about

→ blakefriarr_: i am living in your bones.

→ lhughes_06: ... i'm not even really sure how i can reply to that

luca.fantilli: slay?

→ blakefriarr_: @/lhughes_06 sleep with both eyes open. one is not enough.

→ lhughes_06: you said i was dumber than quinn which is just entirely incorrect

→ blakefriarr_: that was more than TWO WEEKS AGO??? have you been plotting this since my birthday?? and this is all you could come up with??

→ lhughes_06: i was aiming for confusion

blakefriarr_: update: groupchat participant that will remain anonymous has sent me the video of luke calling hockey a business. i'm laughing so hard that i can't even threaten the university children

→ lhughes_06: QUINN??

→ _quinnhughes: i plead the fifth

view more comments..

[kozumesphone]

also, second one (cause i couldnt resist)

if u seek amy! i think thatll be fun

my hobby is reading and playing the guitar!

i think i read like fifty books last year..

my fav books are pjo tlt (its nostalgic ok!!) and the hunger games series

i like to play mostly taylor swift and gracie abrams songs on the guitar!

i basically steal my sisters guitar whenever i want to play cause i dont have my own lol (im better than her)

my favorite taylor swift song is youre on your own kid

my favorite gracie abrams song is feels like

my favorite color is yellow (pretty obvious i think) it reminds me of sunshine and just overall happy things yk?

my favorite season is spring! the flowers start blooming and theyre so pretty (downside are the bugs)

i have a lot of favorite shows: stranger things, brooklyn 99, the good place, modern family

my favorite subject is chemistry! i love learning about the world around me and its properties etcetc

some random stuff about my personality: i get distracted so easily its a nightmare to study, i am an emotional wreck i cry easily, definitely a night owl, hufflepuff, daughter of poseidon

i dont mind if u pick someone from a book i dont recognise, that will just give me incentive to read it!!!

oh forgot to mention im a straight girl

love uuuu and congrats again!!!

⊹ ࣪ ﹏����﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖

CORASON⭑.ᐟ

⟢ “I love you, okay, darling!”

a/n: okay but the way the ship name is corason? which sounds so close to corazon? which means like ‘my dear’ in italian, I think?? MADE FOR EACH OTHER MUCH 🤭💓

I think you’d best match with jason grace!

I mean, daughter of poseidon x son of jupiter? hello?? PERFECTION!!

jason would learn to play the piano while you play the guitar, so you guys could play music together

he LOVES laying on your stomach while you read on your bed and run your fingers through his hair

^ sometimes, he even falls asleep like that, and you both slowly shift into cuddling

he definitely hypes you up to finish your goodreads reading goal, if not exceed it (what can I say? he’s jason grace)

he definitely went to the ballad of songbirds and snakes movie with you (supportive bfs even when they have no idea what you read/watch >>)

he once asked you why you love yoyok by taylor, and straight up bawled while you explained to him what the song meant

he’s a very sunshine-y person, just like you, so when you guys are together, leo pretends to faint and says “too much sun! i’m getting sunstroke! help!!” and he thinks he’s really funny (i’d laugh, ngl <3)

come springtime, he lets you put all the flowers you collect over the summer into his hair

^ he also does the rapunzel braid on your hair and puts in matching flowers in it

(he drives away the bugs for you, dw!)

in an au, he’d never have heard of any tv shows, but after hearing you yap to him about them, he watches them ALL and makes notes about them too (about what? only he knows.)

okay, here we’re going off the rails so badly, but it’s a very ooc and personal hc of mine: jason sucks ASS at geography and chemistry. he will literally breakdown at the very thought of them.

he gets you to help him out with the chemistry part, and he teaches you math (if you’re not good at it already)!

he makes sure you don’t let yourself get burnt out while studying, and also makes sure you don’t get distracted and procrastinate

he comforts you at any time of the day: you say it, he’ll be over asap to give you free cuddles with your favourite chocolates & drinks

sometimes, he doesn’t even need you to tell him. he’ll just. know. when you’re feeling off. and his jacie senses tingle, and he calls you up and goes, “is it cuddletime?” and then drives over

while you’re a night owl, he’s an early bird (he must teach me his way, tho, because h o w)

^ you stay up till 2-3 am reading/studying and wake up by 9 or 10 am, while he sleeps by 10 pm and wakes up by 5 am to the dot

so you guys leave each other sticky notes before going to bed for the other one to see when they wake up

you guys 100% go on bookstore dates (he buys you everything you can carry on your own), library/study dates (especially while grinding during finals szn), museum dates (to mock the statues), beach dates (so he can get mesmerised while watching you do silly little tricks with the water and talk to the fishies), etc.

his love language is 101% physical touch & acts of service <3

temp. taglist — @nuncscioquidsitamor-14 @mqstermindswift @puffoz @skeelly @urmomabby

@sunnitheapollokid @jgracie @canonfeminine @cinemaconrad @roses4plvto

@urbanflorals @aezuria @thetunnelunderoceanboulevard @cherigall @percabethluvr

@pjoverseluvr @maybxlle @mershellscape @riordanness @starlitszn

@metyouattherighttime @a-beautiful-fool @sequinsnstars @ssparksflyy @fayvpor

@iheartgirlzn @nomournersnofunerals @over-the-ocean-call @seaglass-and-string @cer3lia

@lara20aral @bloophasarrived @xoxochb @auroraofthesun1 @sophiesonlinediary

@solangelotus @brodieland @s1utlvr @imasimpdealwithit @waitingonher

@nqds @skyrigel @daydream-of-a-wallflower @hermidastouch @catastrxblues

@moon-drop18 @d4rkdi0rrr @hopelesslyromantic-shark @saltwatergirl6 @hope92100

event masterlist

[fairychev]

Arcane Brainrot 2

Caitlyn, i believe is going to be used by Ambessa to push forward her agenda. Ambessa definitely wants revenge over Zaun because like i said previously, i believe Mel to be dead.

But it is also a factor that Noxians love to conquer, they are known for it as far as i have researched. So I believe Ambessa will try to rule over both Piltover and Zaun.

And she will use Caitlyn's rage, fuel it to further her plans. Caitlyn might be manipulated for a while in this season, whenever she falters, be it be her humanity or compassion coming forth when Zaunites are hunted like crazy as she leads the charges or if she sees Vi go through breakdowns regarding Jinx. Ambessa is going to make it seem like Cait is a failure for letting emotions come into play.

And whenever Vi would try to interfere, and make Cait see reason at some points, its gradually going to make it seem like Vi is protecting Zaun. And thats going to cause so many issues with CaitVi ( Imma cry at this, why are they doing this to us).

and i think this is all in the beginning. Because I do think there would be a time skip (also taking into factor the Annecy spoilers). The more Cait becomes obsessed with finding Jinx, the more she would push Vi away. At one point, Vi is going to leave.

Before leaving, i do think Vi might try to find Jinx one last time, in hopes that it would end this. I dont think it works out and that might make Cait lash out even more.

Like it was said in the sneak-peaks, vi isnt accepted in either Zaun or Piltover. So she becomes a street fighter, trying to feel something. it might be Cait who tracks her down and somehow convinces her to come back.

The thing i cannot place is if Vi becomes an enforcer after or before the timeskip. both theories work kinda well but in different ways.

Maybe both of these things happens after the time skip even? Vi is already an enforcers when Cait becomes obsessed and she leaves for Zaun. And when she comes back, she resumes her place as an enforcer.

the more i think, the more i cannot understand what my brain is trying to piece together.

If Vi is made to come back as an enforcer to Cait, I think she would ask for a few people she's made friends with to be on the team as well. Not everyone on Cait's team look like Pilties. So maybe Vi made connections during her time as an underground fighter and brings in people who she thinks would help them reach their goal.

Another theory that i've been toying with is that, perhaps, Vi never actually abandons her search for Jinx. I think even when she's literally GOING THROUGH IT and hallucinating Cait and is trying her best to cope, she is constantly keeping tabs on Jinx and everything that going on in Zaun. She's collecting evidence and leads (might even be sending it anonymously to Cait or someone she trusts in Piltover) until the time is right to strike.

MAYBEEEE (im getting more theories as i write wtf) jinx and Vi stay in touch during her fighter era. This could've happened after the entire Warwick reveal and the sisters having to be cordial situation , or something to together for like i mentioned in my previous theory post. So Jinx and Vi might be trying to track Warwick or see who's behind all of it, how to keep Noxus out of Zaun (and Piltover). so this might be mid Act 2 or early Act 3.

[pearldog30]

Ghost has a sister? Pt2

All right so this is part 2 to ghost has a sister. and this one is so cute, y'all enjoyed the last one, so much. it made my heart melt, I genuinely didn't think y'all were going to like it. but you did, so here we are! Also if y'all want like a reference song to them, mockingbird by Eminem is 1,000% them Idc IDC! It's literally their bond and it makes me cry 😭 (Read part 1 here first if you didn't) here's part 3

Simon Riley X little sister reader

Other works 👉Master list

Warnings| one word mention of death, fluff.

as you sit in your bed staring at the wall, thinking about life, and the fact it's been almost 8 months since that first encounter with your brother, Simon Riley. you can't believe it's been that long, you honestly felt like it's been longer. especially since you've still been in foster care the whole time, and still currently are. but you couldn't complain too bad, you were grateful your brother decided to actually try to create a bond with you. and well it was Rocky in the beginning with y'all only texted a tiny bit, you would maybe send him letters, or something when he would go on missions somethings. but as the months went by he started opening up and coming around more, texting more, sending letters back. which eventually led to very rare phone calls, and now he calls you practically every day to bother you. And you were grateful for it, grateful for all of it. The fact that you actually have someone there to talk to. about your past, and that wouldn't run off from you. because well. you guys both went through the same thing, it may have not happened together, or at the same time, but it happened. while you may not share the same mom, it never changed anything. To him you were still his sister, even if it meant you guys only share the same dad, it didn't matter to him. you told him about everything, through multiple breakdowns on phone calls/text because you've never had anyone. the only person you had was sadly murdered by your guys's abusive father. Which is how you ended up in foster care.

You both may not like to admit it, but he's actually done a lot for you. Even though in the beginning it felt like he hated you. he would often send you money that you didn't ask for. So that he knew you could go out buy new clothes, and some extra stuff that you wanted, or snacks. He knew the foster care would take care of you, but he also knew they wouldn't give you money to go buy whatever. so that's where he stepped in. you've told him multiple times to stop, but he never listened. he'd also never let you give him the money back. so you kind of just had to deal with it.

You were snapped out of your thoughts, when you catch your phone screen light up next to you. picking up your phone looking at it, you see it's from your brother.

Skelly

Him: Hey kid. where do you want to eat tomorrow?

You: I don't know it's your birthday you choose

Him: can you just fuckin pick!

You: no sorry, Skelly

Him: I told you to stop calling me that

You: oh well Skelly deal with it choose where you want to eat

Laughing to yourself. you decide to turn your phone off, to leave him to decide since it was his birthday. he told you he never celebrated it, and you talked him into celebrating it, because to you he deserved it. You even got him to bring the 141 along for his birthday since he actually agreed to celebrate it for once. and you were more than happy, thrilled actually. properly meet them, well it's not like you haven't talked to them you've talked with price, soap, Alejandro, a little bit when you're on call with him, and they're around but that's about it. so you're excited to actually see what they're about. You turn on your side, pulling the sheets up, drifting off to sleep.

_________________________

The next morning.

You slowly drift your eyes open, hearing the sound of your alarm screaming at you to wake up, to get your day started. Groaning as you reach your hand over to turn the obnoxious alarm off. you hated mornings always have, never really been a morning person. You lay there contemplating your decisions on to lay in bed and get an extra hour of sleep, or to get up and get your daily routine started, and just wait for the late afternoon to come so you can go see your brother. but as soon as that thought jumps into your mind, you're wide awake so the extra hour of sleep is thrown out the window.

Even though you've seen each other quite a few times, it still made you nervous. especially that since today was his birthday, and you were meeting his entire crew. you are always nervous around new people, especially men. so even though you were happy to see your brother, you were also very nervous. You get up, get your day started. pick out your outfit, make sure you have your present for him in your bag. and just wait for the time to come. You hear your caretaker call for you, so you go to where they are. Concerned if something happened to the plans.

"hey going to have to drop you off to Simon at the base. because I just got work that called in so if that's okay we're going to have to leave now." Your caretaker says, and you're relieved that the plans didn't get changed. The car right there was pretty silent, as usual you never mind it though. You pull up to the gates and it's the same old why are you here, ID, yada yada yada. you just kind of zone out, just too excited to see your brother again. But this time though when you pull up Simon is different. he's not in his usual military clothes he's in some regular civilian clothes, and you're kind of in shock at this whole different of person. no vest, no tactical pants, no gloves, nothing. just him in regular jeans, with his black leather jacket, and his dog tags. but the shocking part of it all was there was no mask! he was not ghost no, he was Simon your brother.

Simon looks up from one of the men he was talking to. who you assumed was 141 who was coming along, noticing he puts his cigarette out. looking at you, waiting for you to get out of the car. and you do rather quickly, you haven't seen him in a few months due to his long deployment. and you're more than happy that he's back and alive. You tell your caretaker goodbye, before closing the door hearing her say she'll come by later and pick you up. "How you doing there little sis" he says. when you go to embrace him into a hug, you knew he never liked physical touch. well neither of you did, but y'all were each other's one exception. "I'm okay Skelly did you figure out where you want to eat" you say trying not to laugh. you knew he would kill you saying that in front of whoever he was standing next to. Sighing already annoyed "no Johnny said there's this good burger and wing place so I guess we're going there" he says, looking down at you. Pretty much towering over you, that was the one thing you hated, he always picked on you about it.

"oh shit Simon is this your little sister" the man standing next to him interrupts curiously. Simon turn around looking back to him, forgetting he was there. "Oh yeah this is y/n, y/n this is gaz." He says looking back to you. you guys exchange hellos, as you wait for the rest of the 141 to come out. About 5 minutes go by and Simon's getting annoyed " what the hell is taking them so long" saying pissed off, before sending gaz into grab them. And before you know, it they're all walking out. and you know 3 of them, the other 1 you've never seen before, but he looks like a shorter version of Alejandro. "Sorry we didn't realize we were actually leaving right now" prices as he gets out his car keys walking to his car. "Are we all riding in the same car" Scottish accent speaks up, and you know exactly who it, is your buddy soapy boy. "I don't know me and y/n are going to ride in my car" your brother says as everybody else goes along with price "sounds good" price says.

It's a quiet little walk to his car, a very nice one. you knew Simon was always smart with money, so of course he would have a nice car. When y'all get, in you quickly call dibs on the Bluetooth. "Fuckkk come on man don't be playing none of that mean stupid shit whatever you do" he says knowing you're up to something. "I would never do that to you Simon it's your birthday" you say chuckling. and he knows you're up to no good, you hear him Huff out in annoyance. As he starts the car and starts pulling out of where he's parked. As your phone connects to the Bluetooth, your scrolling through music. before you pick a song he stops you. "Before you start I have something important to tell you" he turns his head to you, then back to the road. And how he says it, makes you nervous. so you just shake your head. "So you remember that nice house I was talking about getting" and this sentence makes you stop. You're hoping to God he didn't get rejected, because he's been talking about this house for a while. And all you want to do is see your brother happy for once. "Yeah well we got it, will be moving in in about a month. so get ready kid things are about to get crazy" he says happily. and you're just looking at him in shock. What does he mean by WE, he told you from the beginning he wasn't going to take you in. and now he bought a house that you guys are moving into. he doesn't even have your adoption papers, or guardianship, what is he thinking. he doesn't even have time for you.

"Simon what do you mean WE" you say wanting answers. "Well there's something I didn't tell you about. I did some talking with price, and your caretaker, and they said as long as I got a house, and since I have a good job. I can technically be your legal guardian and you can live with me. for now on I don't want you living somewhere else, where I don't know where you are. it's not safe I can't do that. Not again" he whispers the last part trying to make sure you don't hear. and for once you see there's a bit of vulnerability in him. You can feel tears In your eyes starting to swell up, you never thought he would do anything like this for you. go through the trouble of buying a house just for you. But it also makes you question what does he mean by not again. "Yeah but Simon what about your job" you say choking a bit. knowing he could die any day, and then what would happen to you. "Don't worry about it kid, I got that under control. I just want you to be happy so don't worry about it" he says, trying to soothe your nerves. he always does this he hates seeing, you stressed, worried, upset.

After that the car ride is silent. Until he puts on his '80s music that you only tolerate for him. You always wondered why his old ass likes this stuff. As y'all pull into the restaurant, you guys noticed the others aren't there yet. so you decide to give him his present as you wait "oh yeah Simon I got you a present I know it's not a lot but I hope it's something" you say digging in your bag pulling out a little small box, handing it to him in his big hands. Looking at you almost shocked as if you weren't allowed to get him anything. "Thanks kid" he says as he opens it and he just stares at it. (This is the present click here) "do you like it" you say. You see him taking it out of it's little box, and putting it around his wrist. "yeah I do" smiling at it. and this is the first time you've seen him genuinely smile at something, you don't see often. Before y'all are both interrupted with banging on the Windows. From none other than soap himself making you jump, and Simon just sign heavily to himself annoyed.

Opening the door you hear soap. "Come on hurry up I'm hungry" he says. ushering you guys out of the car and up to the restaurant. "Johnny really. you really had to do that" your brother says, getting annoyed with him. And you're already loving how this shit show is going to go down. "Yeah yeah I did" Johnny says patting him on the back, before he opens the door for you guys. "Ladies first" gesturing Simon in and then the rest of the 141 "fuck off sergeant" Simon says giving him a warning. As y'all walk in, you hear a heavy Hispanic accent next to you. "How's everything going with you kid" Alejandro says looking at you. "I'm doing okay" you say kind of forgetting he was there. getting too lost in the bickering of the other 2. Standing in the middle of this big large group of men. you kind of feel out of place, but just happy to be with your brother. As they're all getting lost in conversation, you kind of just stand next to Simon in the sidelines waiting for y'all's table. "Right this way" you hear a waitress snap everybody away from conversation, gesturing you guys to y'all's table.

You get to your table, and it's one of those big booths. and since you're the smallest you're stuck in the middle. but it's not too bad at least you have Simon on your left, but then Johnny is on your right... As soon as you get seated, y'all order your drinks as well. "So Minnie Simon how's school going" price says staring at you from across the booth. "It's going okay" you say with a smile before you're interrupted, with Johnny next to you. "Any boys involved Simon has to worry about" he says with tease. trying to get on Simon's nerves, and this just makes everybody at the table, stop and stares at you and Simon. Simon giving you that deathpan stare "no" you say cheeks heating up, not wanting to hear it from your brother. "Better not be" your brother says with a huff under his breath. But before the conversation can carry on, y'all are interrupted with your drinks. which you are more than grateful for, but you see Johnny with this huge ass thing of beer."Johnny you're really not going to drink all that, remember what happened last time." price says not sounding too happy. "Come on it'll be fine captain" Johnny says before he takes one big swig.

You get lost in conversation. watching everybody bicker over missions, or stupid things that they did, or about get on each other's nerves. And honestly you never thought this would make you so happy watching this all go down. But then you remember. "Hey Skelly, I forgot to tell you but there's this prom thing coming up. and I kind of want to go" you say turning to your brother. and you hear Alejandro, and Johnny, spit out their drinks. looking at them confused. "I'm sorry. but Skelly" Johnny says through tears. And you can tell your brother is about to jump over you and slap him. As price, and gaz, are just shaking their head. and Johnny, Alejandro is losing it. As Alejandro's trying to catch his breath on a shoulder of a man, you still don't know the name of. "Lt that's going to be your new name Skelly the Lt" Johnny says after calming down from laughter. "Johnny boy I'd stop that, before he deck slams you. we remember what happened last time" prices already over it. "What about this prom thing" Simon says trying to change the conversation. "Oh yeah I just need someone to drop me off, I already have money saved up for the dress. could you pleasesssss do that" you say. giving him puppy dog eyes. And you can tell he's crumbling "finee just let me know what time" your brother says giving in. "Ooh what kind of dress is it, it has to be big, down in Mexico when me and Rudy had ours everybody always went all out. you have to it's tradition" Alejandro says gesturing to the man next to him who you assume is now Rudy. Rudy shaking his head along agreeing with him. "Nothing fancy, just something small so I can have money left" you say happily, and this makes your brother stop and look at you. "No don't worry about it I'll pay for it" your brother interrupting you. "N-" before you could finish. "Yes end of discussion" your brother says getting irritated, you always hated when he does this. But you didn't have a choice just to sit back and let it be.

As it gets towards the end of dinner, your brother gets up to use the restroom. and you see Johnny grabbing the attention of one of the waitresses over "hey! It's our Buddy's birthday, he just went to the bathroom. could we get a birthday cake, and sing Happy Birthday but instead of his name. could you say happy birthday Skelly" Johnny says with drunken laughter, knowing what's about to go down. Price trying to stop this but it's too late. The waitress agrees going along to get everything. And before you know it, your brother's back in the booth. sitting calmly, not knowing what's about to happen. When all of a sudden all of you guys see a birthday cake, and tons of people clapping, coming to your table. your brother already know what someone did. Bringing his head down to the table already fuckin over it, before It even starts. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU" everybody says. Putting the cake down on the table, the rest of the guys losing it. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR SKELLY" and that's what made Simon bring his head up, and glare at everybody. As they finished the song, Johnny's on your shoulder crying from laughter. When they leave Simon turns his head to Johnny. "Sergeant you better sleep with one eye open on our next deployment" your brother says in all seriousness, and you're scared for what he's about to do to the poor bastard. "We tried getting him to stop" price says butting in. Y'all enjoy the cake, and the rest of your evening before it gets a little later.

Simon pays for you and his meal. And y'all adventure off to his car to go back to the base. "Simon did you like your birthday" you say with your hopes up. "Actually you know what, kid I did" he says looking back to you, raffling his hand in your hair. "Come on Simonnnnnn can you not" you say, trying to get his strong hand off your head. But you got your revenge back, when you got in the car and you got a hold of the Bluetooth. annoying him with your music, you always loved the moments like these. where you could feel like the kid. The car ride back to the base was fun for you, annoying for Simon. Simon pulls in back to the same building, y'all were at earlier. He looks around and sees your caretaker isn't quite there yet, so you wait outside with him. And you see the other guys pull up "HEYYY PEOPLE" Johnny says drunkenly getting out of the car. Gaz gesturing him in the building to go to bed. As everybody else kind of follows, you can't blame them it was late and everybody was kind of tired.

You finally see your caretaker pull up. And you see her getting out of the car to talk to Simon and you, before you guys head off. "How was it" your caretaker says happily. "It was fun" you say smiling. Happy that you got to spend the day with your brother. "All right well we better get going you got school in the morning" she says looking back to Simon. Saying your goodbyes to your brother. as he stands from the door, watching you follow your caretaker to her car when.........

And that's going to be the end for this. I know this is actually probably shit but I struggled okay. I hope at least one of you enjoys this. if you want part 3 please request! reblogs and comments are always appreciated 🖤 as always I hope you are having a good day/night wherever You are

[kitkatopinions]

If yang is treated like an awful sister in volume 9 and her paying attention to blake and ignoring ruby is treated as a flaw and was called out for said flaw how you feel about that?

I think in general, I completely agree with the people calling Yang an awful sister in Volume 9. I've heard every defense imaginable for why she was acting the way she was acting in V9, but really, Ruby's growing breakdown and her suffering was obvious. Like Ruby quite literally fainted from her trauma, and went through almost the whole volume in uncharacteristic gloom while showing complete disinterest in trying to get back her once beloved weapon, only having small two second moments of happiness here and there that quickly got crushed, being self-deprecating, hunching in on herself, trying not to fall apart, and then she had a panic attack during the fight with Neo's Jabberwalkers at the Paper Pleaser's village, and.... Yang was doing what? Not noticing.

Giggling and flirting, and smarting off and rolling her eyes, and having a grand old time in her fights, and dismissing it when Ruby did start to talk about her regrets by saying it's like Ironwood. Yeah, Yang shows some minor concern sometimes before Ruby's breakdown, but to me it felt like less concern than one of my coworkers had shown one time that I was sick at work and they had to drive me home. It didn't feel like the care a good older sister would show to a traumatized and clearly struggling beloved younger sister, it felt like the passing obligatory sympathy a stranger would show to another stranger if they found them crying at a bar. Like 'Oh are you okay? Yeah? Okay, if you're sure. I'll get back to my friend group.' And then you just move on and try to have fun for the rest of the night. That's how Yang prior to Ruby's breakdown feels to me.

Then while Ruby's having her breakdown, what does Yang do?

Yang 1. treats Ruby like a threat to Blake and glares at her. 2. does absolutely nothing to console Ruby or protest her words in any way. 3. does absolutely nothing when Jaune starts yelling in her face victim blaming her for things outside of her control and essentially saying she's not allowed to feel bad things or express that she feels bad things while she's standing there crying. 4. Doesn't immediately run after her when she takes off alone in a dangerous chaos world after she just demonstrated that she might not be able to fight, is clearly emotionally compromised, and being actively targeted by Neo who just made it even more clear that she's gunning directly for Ruby. 5. Gets angry like "how could she be kinda mean to me? Why couldn't she talk to me even though I shot her down the one time she expressed negative feelings to me? Ugh she's so impossible, not being one hundred percent okay after the death of her friend and being upset that I'm treating this like a romantic fun getaway while she's spiraling into an obvious breakdown that I didn't notice at all."

And then when Ruby ascends, Yang is like beaming away hugging Jaune like five minutes later? And when she sees Ruby in the tree, she's at least somewhat affected - although still much less than I'd want her to be, like compare Yang seeing Ruby in the tree to when the Doctor in Doctor Who thought he lost Rose for the first time, or Jack Harkness when Rose "dies" in front of him (since they didn't even know each other that long,) or Martha the first time Jack "dies" in front of her despite the fact that it was the first time she'd seen him, or Rose the first time Jack "dies" in front of her, or Amy and the Doctor the first time Rory "dies" in front of them, or Amy and the Doctor the second time Rory "dies" in front of them- You get the point. Yang is supposed to be Ruby's sister, but her reactions go between limited and not nearly emotional enough to near non-existent, and we're supposed to buy it as the single most caring and loving older sister that raised Ruby on her own and just loves her oh so much? I don't buy it.

Especially because Yang then completely ignores all the suffering Ruby's been through and how Ruby explicitly said she didn't want to be treated like a perfect girl with all the answers and didn't want to be the leader anymore, and was like "oh yeah Ruby is our perfect leader who never doubts herself and never shows weakness and has never been confused a day in her life." How am I supposed to think of Yang as a caring older sister when she completely ignores Ruby and disregards what she says and what she needs, in order to over-rely on her? Volume 9 made Yang look like a terrible sister tbh.

I will clarify: The problem isn't 'Yang gives Blake attention,' it's that the writers can't seem to write both 'Yang gives Blake attention, cares about her, and loves her as a romantic partner' and 'Yang gives Ruby attention, cares about her, and loves her as a sister.' They tend to push Ruby and Yang's relationship to the back and focus on Blake and Yang's relationship when they could and should be focusing on both sets of dynamics. Because of how much Ruby's relationship with Yang is shoved to the side and Blake and Yang's is emphasized, it does make it feel like Yang cares much more about Blake than she does about Ruby - coupled with things like Yang protectively stepping in front of Blake when Ruby is upset or even earlier, her pulling Blake out of the house with apathy in V6 while Ruby was still in the building and Qrow was passed out drunk on the counter. But the problem isn't 'Yang is written to care about Blake' it's that it feels like the writers only write her to care about Blake and don't care about her other dynamics, which makes it feel like she doesn't really care about Ruby that much at all.

It's very sad, because one of the reasons I originally loved Yang was that I connected with her as an older sister. I love my younger sister very much, I would do anything for her, I want to protect her, but I also think of her as very strong and able to protect herself, similar to how Yang acted in the first five seasons. Yang was one of my absolute favorite characters in RWBY - if not my number one favorite - partially because of how good it felt to see a sibling relationship where they loved and cared about each other and prioritized each other. Now I'm really struggling to like Yang's character at all, and a big reason for that is that it no longer feels like she really cares that much about Ruby. So yeah. XD

TL;DR: I actually completely agree with the people saying Yang is being a bad sister, and her ignoring Ruby is totally a flaw that I'd call out.

[darkchocolatedimples]

keeper characters as things my friends and i have texted!

i'm cleaning out my phone and found wayy too many screenshots

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sophie: i've almost got keefe convinced that storks drop off babies

sophie: this may or may have not incited a breakdown 3:30 am but i've almost done it

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keefe: i'm at the mall with biana she's looking for shoes i'm looking for hot people

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sophie: how does one develop insomnia in level 2? don't know but i'll call it endurance training

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fitz: shut up you simp for my sister

dex: i'm proud

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dex: HOW IS A DEAD PERSON GONNA BE TRAUMATIZED

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keefe: i think i kissed my pillow once when i was 12 or 13

keefe: you know, 70 years ago

keefe: when we still lit things with candles

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sophie with mallowmelt: rock bottom tastes better than it sounds

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dex: idk what it's like to pull a girl i was the one pulled

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keefe: bro my brain waves feel like a siren

keefe: yk what i mean

fitz: i do not

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dex (with braces): imagine loving someone

dex: ...

dex: who has braces

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keefe after sending a picture of himself: omg whos the stylish one i wanna meet him

biana hyping him up: me too he seems so hot wtf

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sophie: YOU WANT PROBLEMS

sophie: ILL GIVE YOU SOME

fitz: this doesn't sound good

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alden: i'm taking a samoa

biana: okay they're five bucks

alden: what no discount? i'm your dad

biana: six bucks

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keefe: i just have the need to be the hottest smarted person in the room at all times to make myself feel valid

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dex: i just wasted 20 mintues of my life on a koala i will never get to see

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fitz: i'm in a whole foods crying by the bobo's toasters

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marella: 420 what's your emergency

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biana: ur so bagelicisous

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marella: shut up band kid

dex: shut up lesbian

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marella: i hope sometimes when the guys at our school are getting a little too cocky they remember that there are literal 2d drawings pulling more bitches than them

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sophie: projection>>>having problems

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biana to keefe: sugar baby would look so good on you

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biana: i love being able to hit men's booties knowing they can't fight back

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dex: british people (derogatory) what tf is beans on toast

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keefe: i WILL breathe more air than you

tam: is this a threat

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dex: this be lookin a little homosexual 🫣

biana: ^us when we see keefe and fitz

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sophie: kmsing 🤭🤭🤭🤭

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biana to fitz: hate to break it to you, you don't like her, you like the boy you think she has a crush on

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grady: maybe getting older is...beginning to like and appreciate bananas

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kenric and jolie: i hope i'm important enough to be the main character from my grave

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sophie: lmao why should i care about anything i'm 15 and i eat chocolate 🤷‍♀️

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keefe: just bc you know you're making me sweat shake and shiver doesn't mean you can or should use that to your advantage (please do) like what the fuck

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fitz: i'm not that much of an asshole

dex: this is untrue

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dex: good news! no more cannibalism. bad news, beastiality?

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keefe about sophie: the way we're twinning

keefe: she drinks red bull and cuts bangs at 2am i impulsively get stitches with no thoughts in my head bc i think its cool

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stina: currently about to fight this seagull will update

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dex: i wouldn't mind a shorter guy actually if they're too tall i'm gonna have to break their knees to kiss them

biana: that's the fun part! like glowsticks 🤩

[greeneyed-thestral]

I BOOKED A TICKET TO SEE MICHAEL IN NYE

so here's the thing

I went to London for the first time last october and going to the theatre there was a wake up call, as if a voice in my head that had been silent for a really long time whispered 'hey this is actually all you need to feel better? to sit in the dark and experience something special with other people that love it as much as you??'; so I wanted 'London at least once a year' to become a thing

right now I don't know what I'm doing with my life and some days I just feel like I want to hop on a plane and forget everything and everyone, sometimes I just stop and turn my head and realize oh I'm... not in London, but I remember who I was there??

one january evening I kinda mentioned to my sister that Michael would be doing a play at the National this spring; she got me all excited like we looked for planes, hotels and possible dates that could work for both of us and I literally couldn't switch off my head, which scared me, for I stayed awake all night 'till five o' clock writing a detailed schedule for this hypothetical crazy weekend

and then I kinda gave up the idea 'cause I don't have a job at the moment but what if someone calls me?? what if I'm away and I lose the chance of a lifetime? should I even go back so soon like shouldn't I wait for a better opportunity or something special?? but c'mon it's a weekend I mean who is going to need me AND YET--

my sister kept insisting for weeks but I didn't want to be bothered anymore 'cause I've been feeling really down and I didn't want to fool myself like last time, and everything felt pointless anyway

but last night she sent me screenshots of a plane and hotel option for a weekend in march when there's nothing going on here that binds me to stay, and I said you know what... maybe?

so she rushed into my room and not even two hours later we had booked the plane, the hotel and a theatre ticket for me to see Michael Sheen in Nye anD I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU BUT I HAD A BREAKDOWN and started crying

'cause moments earlier there was nothing and now there was this thing and I felt overwhelmed like-- I'm actually going to London just for a day, but I get to see Michael?? like I'll be in the same room as this person that is so so special???

and I felt guilty and scared even though I never leave the house and I don't really do nice things just for me, yet still I ask myself if it's worth it and if I deserve it

there are actually many pros: I had a plane voucher to spend within the year, this is the last weekend my sister can come with me, we get to see London in spring, the hotel is great and very close to the theatre and to the underground, if everything goes according to plans we get to see another play in the afternoon as well, also it's not like Micheal performes live so close so often, who knows when I'll ever get the chance to see him again, and c'mon these past months are proof that I clearly love him in everything he does, don't I owe him this?

on the other hand I get so scared of what might happen like what if I go all the way there and then Michael can't perform that day, what if I wasted the voucher, what about delays and unexpected problems, also the show is going to be filmed, maybe I should have said no and stream it instead of choosing to go there...

I just feel like I'm always waiting for a perfect moment, the perfect occasion, and maybe this is one and I can't seem to see it; must it be that I need others to push me this way otherwise I would never do anything? I mean to me it's scary that I have to reach this breaking point to experience something when I'm well aware that booking a plane to a place that is two hours away it's the norm for other human beings

I just need someone to tell me I did the right thing. 🥺

[claudemblems]

Yo Can I request a script that you write for me, please? It's related to Moriarty the patrio ,I don't know if requests are available but if not you can just ignore this

أThe scenario is as follows: The reader is Albert's little sister, four or five years younger than him. She is the family's beloved and spoiled. She does not know anything about the outside world because she is sick and usually stays at home. She has no idea that their parents are bad and corrupt people When she witnesses the fire incident in the house, she witnesses the corpses of her family, which creates a psychological shock for her that makes her lose all her joy and smile. She becomes isolated even from Albert. As for Liam and Louis, she does not pay any attention to them, as before. She was watching everything from behind, and she's not bad either, she's just afraid to intervene and defend them from her family's mistreatment of them, but they all try to tell her that this is for their own good. After the incident, she began to completely ignore them and even despise them, because she had suspicions that they were the reason for the death of her family, but she remained silent.The situation remains like this until they grow up and become adults. One night, she passes by the study room in the palace and hears the voice of Albert, Louis, and William. She tries to listen only to hear Albert say that perhaps they should have left her to die. In that burning house with their family, and you hear him apologizing to Liam and Louis for my hateful behavior towards them, and that he did not expect me to grow up to be like our family, here the reader will have a psychological breakdown, but she does not cry, She also loses hope in Albert and sees him as a criminal like the rest of them, because for her, he has robbed her of the warmth of her family.

Sorry that this was very long, it literally looks like a newspaper. Anyway, if you like it, please write it. The problem is that I probably wrote the script with all its details myself lol, I don’t know, dude, it’s my first time submitting a request. Also, this scenario was on my mind forever before bed and I can't really forget it lol

Hello!! Thank you for sending a little MtP thing in :) I'm not really a request blog and I actually kinda stopped fic writing, BUT I'll see if I can write a little something for this okay? ^^ It may be short and I may just take a few ideas instead of the whole thing. I need to practice my writing anyways!!

As long as you're patient with me (doing college and content creation) I'll see what I can do! 🩷

[what-if-queen-camilla]

Chapter 41

04rd September 1997

Camilla had vehemently refused to even discuss the completely insane idea of Theodora attending Diana's funeral - first with Charles, then with his Private Secretary, and eventually with the Queen’s Private Secretary. Under no circumstances was she going to allow her poor little daughter to have to go through that awful ordeal - no matter how much her brothers apparently wished for their sisters to be by their side. She herself attending the funeral was of course out of the question, Charles and the boys would have to walk behind the coffin - so who would even look after Thea? She was only 10 years old, she could hardly attend such an event on her own, especially not given how public it was all going to be - not to speak of the controversy her attendance would undoubtedly cause. No, that was not going to happen.

"Maybe Granny can take care of her…", Charles, once more, suggested but Camilla was relentless. "No, darling. I'm sorry for the boys but I can't do that to her. I get that they'd want her by their side and that means a great deal but we can't allow that. It would be too traumatising for her." "But it wouldn't be her first funeral. She did attend your mother's!" "But that wasn't a fucking State Funeral!", Camilla replied. She couldn't believe that they were even discussing this. "This isn't a State Funeral either.", Charles pointed out and Camilla rolled her eyes. "It's a State Funeral in all but name. And it's… darling, please! Do you have any idea what the press will say if the literal product of your affair shows up at the funeral of your ex-wife??? They'll rip it into pieces, they'll rip HER into pieces, and I'm not going to allow that! The answer is and always will be no!" With that, she hung up the phone, sunk down on her bed and started crying. 

She couldn’t count all the tears she had been crying since the dreadful day that had changed everything anymore, not even for her own sake, but for Charles, William and Harry, and of course also for Thea who so longed to be there for her brothers which of course was incredibly sweet and touching but the mere imagination of her daughter at that funeral, without her, surrounded by that family and millions of people watching live all over the world almost caused her a heart attack. Thea herself had expressed her wish to support her brothers several times but Camilla was too afraid to even consider any of the suggestions that had been made so far. “We will light a candle and say a prayer and then watch it together on television.”, she had promised her, but Thea hadn’t been convinced. “I want to be with my brothers!”, she had declared over and over again and a part of her understood that. For nothing in this world would she have let Annabel and Mark alone at their mother’s funeral, but apart from the fact that they had all been adults at the time of Rosalind’s death, they had all been her children. In this case , however, it wasn’t only about Thea not being Diana’s daughter but actually being Camilla’s, the one person that was once more being blamed for the breakdown of Charles and Diana’s marriage, Diana’s misery and heartbreak and eventually, even her death. The atmosphere in the country was hugely emotional and the hatred she was facing had dramatically increased again; she had stopped looking at the newspapers and was very glad that a very kind neighbour was doing the shopping for her at the moment as she hardly dared leaving the house. It was all hard enough for Thea already, how could anyone in their right might even consider exposing her to the public like that? 

The phone rang and Camilla expected it to be Charles again, of course he wasn’t accepting her to end the call the way she just had and, actually, she wasn’t either. Especially following Diana’s accident they both made sure to assure the other how much they loved each other even more often, for you never knew what might happen… “Darling, listen I-”, she began, but was then interrupted by a totally unexpected voice: “Camilla? Sarah speaking…” “Sarah?” It was indeed Sarah, daughter of her good friend Susan, and, coincidentally, ex-wife of Charles’ brother Andrew, The Duke of York. “I’m sorry to be bothering you…”, Sarah started to excuse herself, but Camilla rushed to ensure that she was not bothering her at all. “That’s a lovely surprise. How, um… how are you doing?” She hadn’t even finished her question when she already regretted it: How was she supposed to be doing? She and Diana had been close. She had to be heartbroken. “Sarah, listen, I’m so sorry for… everything. I know you were close…” “We were…”, Sarah answered with a teary voice. “Thank you. But I reckon it’s not easy for you either, is it?” Camilla sighed. “That is so kind of you to ask.”, she said. “No, it’s… it’s been a very sad week for us, too.” “I can imagine. How is Thea? Bea told me that William and Harry told her about…” She didn’t have to go on, Camilla knew what she was talking about immediately and wasn’t sure whether she’d feel ashamed because so many people knew already, or maybe even relieved because she was aware that Sarah wasn’t in the easiest position either following the York’s divorce last year so in some ways the two of them were pretty much fellow sufferers and could possibly support each other. “Thanks for asking. She is… alright, I’d say.”, Camilla replied. “As best as possible under the given circumstances. She so wants to be there for her brothers and, apparently, William and Harry want her to be by their side on Saturday but…” Her voice broke and she couldn’t hold back her tears anymore. It was so sad. These poor children shouldn't have to be suffering from their parents’ mistakes the way they were. A sister should be able to be there for her grieving brothers if she wanted to, especially if that was the brothers’ wish as well. It was not fair. “I don’t know whether anyone has told you, Camilla, but I’m going with the girls. I’d be happy to take Thea, too. She could sit with us, with her cousins. I’d take care of her, I promise you.” For a few seconds, Camilla was speechless and didn’t know what to say. No, she had not known that Sarah was going to attend the funeral but her offer was so generous. Of course, that would be a great solution. Sarah had always been a wonderful mother for Beatrice and Eugenie and would surely take good care of Thea on the day as well. Thea and Bea were close in age, almost exactly one year apart and, of course, cousins. They knew each other from Balmoral and got along exceptionally well. “Oh Sarah, that… is so kind of you, I… I don’t know what to say.”, she stuttered, still with a teary voice. “It’s nothing, Camilla, really.”, Sarah said. “Ask her and let me know how you both will decide so we can arrange everything.” “I will. Thank you, Sarah.”

[i-love-dopamine]

tw vent

my mom is the only person who can make literally everything about how hard it is for her and how her husband is evil.

my dad has this character he made up. shes like this steampunk fairy thing and ive wanted to draw her since i first heard about her.

today my dad was like "hey u should draw my character" so i thought it would be cool because i was bored and he described some more of her actual design to me and i drew it

i went to show my mom and she was just like "ok. cool." and i just broke the fuck down

when i was 6 fucking years old i started drawing things because she liked art and i wanted to impress her. she had a huge big loving warm reaction to it and i felt amazing. i started drawing all the time and she even put me in an art class. this was like one of my core moments that literally changed my entire me. ever since then i drew every day on any slip of paper i could get my little paws on.

at the start of covid everything was terrible. everything sucked and i started learning things about myself. depression, gender dysphoria, anxiety, full nine yards. i was stuck in my home with my family for months and i just wanted to interact with people. i was all of the depression. i couldn't get up in the morning, i couldn't sleep at night, i couldn't eat, i couldn't run around, everything sucked all the ass.

i lost motivation. all of it.

any motivation to wright or draw or do anything. i lost motivation to live. drawing was my escape mechanism. it made me feel like my mom cared. it made me feel good. and i just couldn't do it anymore. it hurt. it hurt so so much.

eventually i figured i was a lesbian and told my sister who told my dad and he reacted poorly and said i was to young to know. after that, everything went numb. i couldn't feel happy, or angry, or sad. i actually lost my ability to cry for a year. just all of the tears were gone after being a very emotional feeling kid.

i started public school after my mom finally decided i was worthy of not being homeschooled (the art class was my only interaction with other people). i met people i cared about. who cared about me even if i couldn't draw. i met people who were some of the worst people ever. i met people. it was amazing. i went to school every day and talked to people i liked and liked me even though i wasn't special or important.

i started getting motivated again. i started doodiling on any scrap of paper i could find. i started wanting to wright again. i started to get past the numbness. i did get passed the numbness. everything was better. i started finding a personality i liked instead of one just to make my parents happy.

my moms opinion has always mattered. it still does.

going back to what actually brought us to now.

after my mom disregarded my art that i wanted her opinion on i went to my room to go have a breakdown. i started crying and my dad came in and asked me what was wrong. i told him that i showed mom the art and she didn't even look at it. then mom came in and asked what was happening and dad told her. she said shit like

"i was busy."

"i like your art /lie"

"dont do art for other people without them paying you"

"dont get involved with your dads bullshit"

and i told her that this has nothing to do with that, and that i just wanted her to look at my art.

she said all the same shit again

she just would not admit that she fucked up

she kept passing it onto my dad

she kept making up excuses as to why she wasn't in the wrong

eventually dad stepped in and backed me up

and she just said all the same shit again

eventually i told her to fuck off and went to my bed, still crying rivers.

shes literally just in her room watching reruns of her childhood crush right now. like none of this matters to her. like she didn't just rip my heart out of my body, throw it to the ground, and step on it infront of me. like she didn't just fuck up the thing ive hidden in my entire life.

i dont think i can keep drawing

i dont think i can keep thinking about my characters i want to wright.

i dont think i can keep doing this.

fuck this shit man she always says shit about how i shouldnt let others dictate how i feel and not give me an environment i can develop like any sort of healthy relationship with anyone ever

im gonna go doomscroll mlm fanart till i feel better. if you read this, please help me.

[snailsgoingdowntown]

i loved your latest bsd work! also its v realistic (at least for me) bc i keep seeing these works of like, staying with them through thick and thin and while it is cute! kinda unrealistic 😭 i hope u have a good day 🫶

Gdhd thank you!!!

It really is unrealistic. A lot of people, myself included, would make the argument that everything would turn out alright if you would just stay. But that's neither healthy nor possible (majority of the time). Obviously yes, in some cases that works, but in many more it just won't.

I would know, because once upon a time I tried to stay with someone who was just... Toxic. It was not good for my mental health and I stayed up all night barely getting three hours of sleep in talking them out of well... Yeah.

The amount of times I cried and had mental breakdowns on the daily was not. Ideal. But it was exactly the memories of that, that made me think: "a relationship with these characters is impossible."

They have may issues that many people are just not equipped to handle, either because they were never told how or because they simply can't, regardless if they're in the same situation/have the same thoughts/feelings as these characters.

Like, realistically, ik many people would not be able to deal with Dazai. I wouldn't be able to, that man would make me fall down into a pit of despair where I return to my old habits and thoughts I don't want to go through again.

Kunikida would be horrible to deal with, at least Dazai would make a person laugh. He's way too strict and I have a fear of people like that, not only that, he tends to speak with his chest out in a loud voice. That's not a bad thing, but for him specifically, it makes him feel unapproachable, to me at least. If you're caught up with the manga, then you know how Aya's dad is, and I am afraid of him becoming like that if he were to ever find a lover or have a kid. Sure, it wouldn't be on purpose, but realistically, there is a decent sized chance that MIGHT happen.

I wouldn't be able to deal with Ranpo, we'd get into fights 24/7. He would make me cry and I would punch his face.

Chuuya... Haha, I honestly can't see him with anyone. Dazai and the sheep probably ruined that for him, along with that one guy in stormbringer who's name I forgot. They're lucky he still has trust in him for them.

Aku and higuchi are a very toxic dual, and keep in mind she likes him the way he is. So imagine if her affections were to shift to someone new, and based on how obsessive she is with him, it would probably be the same story, and remember, in one side story, she literally used her off day to stalk him. Not only that but she wanted to kill Gin simply because she THOUGHT she was romantically involved with Aku. And she did a total 180 when she found out she was his sister.

Tbh I think Gin would make a better choice for Higuchi cuz at least she doesn't slap her around.

But yeah, a relationship with any of these characters would probably be impossible for most, not all, but most. It's always good to be there for people, but please set boundaries, know your limits.

But yea, that's the joy of fan fiction, you can make anything work in fiction. But in reality it probably wouldn't. But fiction is nice. Idek what I'm saying anymore, it's 3am, but thank you for the ask and remember to take care of yourself too!!

[quodekash]

FINALLY IM WATCHING THE ABAAB EPISODE 

i was so busy the last couple of days and the only moments i wasnt busy i was exhausted and fell asleep unwillingly (either that or i was having a mental breakdown but thats neither here nor there) 

ANYWAY IM HERE NOW, FOUR DAYS LATE BUT IM HERE 

note from the future: i mention how pretty everyone is a LOT in this episode. so take a shot of water every time i mention someone (or perhaps their hair) being pretty. stay hydrated, kids. 

now the question is. what the hell happened last episode because i have, once again, forgotten everything 

there was the thing that happened with thoop’s sister that i dont rly want to put in words because it disgusts me 

thoop apologised for what he said to/about guncher 

umm.... guncher had a sexy sexy scene at the end 

jack is still pretty and his hair is still pretty 

OH AND THREEZO KISSED, I REMEMBER THAT 

okay im all caught up, let’s get to it 

bro what the hell 

“i just love you” awwww 

“you love me every time you do me” noW HOL’ UP A SEC 

“come on cher, have sympathy for me” “Why would i do that?” “because im cute and adorable” he’s got me there. he is, in fact, very cute and adorable 

and pretty 

theyre all pretty 

why is everyone pretty 

guys im pan i cant deal with this rn 

AWWWW THE CHEEK KISSSSSS 

guys im a sucker for affectionate cheek kisses. i think akkayan broke me bc that cheek kiss in episode 10? jeez i am not okay. i think about that scene more than i am willing to admit. 

actually no, im willing to admit it 

i love akayan so much 

anyway, we’re not akkayaning rn, we’re abaabing 

NOOOO IT’S CHER’S LAST DAY AT WORKKKKK im almost certainly gonna cry 

weLL NOW ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS SOUNDWIN 

EVERY TIME I TRY TO FOCUS ON WHAT’S HAPPENING ON THE SCREEN MY BRAIN IS LIKE ‘ooo look at the brainrot hyperfixation people’ and im like BRO CONCENTRATE ON T H I S BRAINROT and my brain is like ‘nahhhhhhh we can focus on it laterrrrr, like when youre trying to do something important but realise you havent watched the episode yet and its been days, how about then!’ 

anyway 

i keep getting sidetracked 

sorry 

the adhd meds wore off hours ago and ive had two cups of hot chocolate today (one which i just had) so the brain thoughts are more everywhere than usual 

anyway 

anD NOW IM THINKING ABOUT YAK FROM MSP 

WILL I EVER GET A MOMENT OF PEACE 

JUST LET ME WATCH THE FREAKING EPISODE 

WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS BRAIN 

i got distracted for an hour and a half. whoops. (raise your hand if youre surprised? that’s right, no one raised their hands. anyway lets get back into this.) 

“can i join you” BRO IS SO HORNY RN, JEEZ 

GUYS WE FINALLY MADE IT TO THE INTRO, IT ONLY TOOK LIKE TWO HOURS 

okay so i just started crying 

i havent seen his hair on my screen in literally 11 days 

this is a really emotional moment for me 

i love his hair so much 

jack your hair is perfection 

someone needs to tell mike chinnarat that his hair is perfection 

i love him so much 

help 

hes also so pretty 

look at his prettiness 

hes so pretty 

anyway 

i love how he’s walking in on them gossiping about his best friend, he’s gonna talk them down 

(but also i can totally see him squealing and giggling and getting his nails done with them and gossiping a bunch about chergun (just not the mean kind of gossip)) 

HE’S SO PRETTY IM LITERALLY SOBBING 

HE’S SO PRETTY AND HES SO AMAZING AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH 

AND HIS HAIR

hes so freaking perfect. holy hell. 

i love him 

i cannot express in words how much i love him 

HES SO ICONIC 

HES SO FREAKING ICONIC 

HIS HAIR AMPLIFIES HIS PERSUASIVENESS 

HE IS AMAZING 

HOLY FREAKING HELL 

“is anyone troubled much by our gossip?” FREAKING YES??? 

HIS SARCASM 

HIS SASS 

HIS PASSIVE AGGRESSION 

IDK IF ANY OF THOSE WERE THE RIGHT WORDS BUT ANYWAY 

I LOVE HIM 

i want to stare at him forever please 

PLEEEAAASEEE HE’S SO ICONIC 

how is he so pretty 

how is this man so pretty 

i love him 

hes so pretty 

hes so freaking pretty 

okay back to guncher 

i love them 

theyre so sweet 

JACK TIME AGAIN 

LOOK AT HIS HAIR 

ITS PERFECTION 

ILYSM JACK 

jack and aoi are amazing i love them 

they point the guncher moments out to each other 

also HIM CALLING HER SIS??? IM CRYING I LOVE THEM BOTH SO MUCH 

“i mean the behavior report and the feedback field. i wrote a lot.” I LOVE HER SO MUCH SHES SO ICONIC PLEASE LET ME BE YOUR FRIEND AOI 

^D^ HE SMILEEEE 

“you kept the promise to him so well. you also promised me you wouldnt tell the boss that day. such a double standard” hes so dramatic i love him so much 

shes so pretty 

and hes also so pretty 

why is everyone pretty 

is that allowed 

are they allowed to be that pretty 

i love them all so much 

im too pan for this freaking show 

i love you ink 

COFFEE TIMEEEEE 

OH YEAH THEYRE GOING TO GO BUY COFFEE I FORGOT ABOUT THAT 

hes so confused and so pretty and so happy and so in love and i cant deal with this 

HEY 

NO 

BAD 

*sprays him with water* BAD 

GO WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND TO BUY COFFEE 

please 

“and why wont you be around?” lmao he desperately wants to hire him 

“yes boss” UM- 

k-kinky? 

“or should i call you babe” thATS THE NAME OF THE SHOW! 

i know nothing about this man but i think everyone loves him 

his name is yacht?? i think thats it 

anyway i know nothing about him but i agree. i love him. 

hes very pretty. 

and his hair is a pretty shade of blue 

WHY IS EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW PRETTY 

AND LIKE A SPECIFIC TYPE OF PRETTY THAT MAKES ME SPECIFICALLY WEAK 

WHOEVER CASTED THIS FREAKING SHOW WAS OUT TO GET ME AND ME SPECIFICALLY 

PRETTY 

i may need to make a second post of commentary for this episode if i cant get myself under control 

im screenshotting too many pretty people because there are too many pretty people 

at this rate i will certainly go over the 30 image limit 

to me. please. just chill and appreciate and screenshot WITHOUT needing to put them on this tumblr post. you can do it. itll be hard but i believe in you. sincerely, me. (buTISHOULDTELLYOUTHATITHINKOFYOUEACHNIGHT. IRUBMYNIPPL- sorry) 

“see? ordering coffee is a piece of cake” well now i want cake 

WHY DOES CHER HAVE TO GO 

IM GONNA CRY 

I HATE GOODBYES 

OH HEY THAT RHYMED 

i wanna see thyme 

yes mentioning thyme was just an excuse to rhyme again, but i rly do miss seeing drake laedeke’s face. and also eyebrows. i love his eyebrows so much. 

PLEASE HES SO FREAKING PRETTY JACK IS SO PRETTY AND HIS HAIR IS SO PRETTY 

THE HUG 

I AM EMOTIONAL 

MY EMOTIONS ARE BIG 

WHY 

gun appearing out of nowhere and jack’s nervous smile- omg 

GHREKDBG ITS SO FUNNY WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY 

i have never seen less food on a fork before 

THE LOOKS THAT JACK AND AOI SHARE- OMG 

EVERYONES REACTIONS TO “both” PLEASEEE 

i know im tryna dial it down on the screenshots a little bit but his hair was at a great angle in this shot and i just had to share this 

you can see all the curls 

all the sections of his hair 

the messy curly perfection 

the fluffy poofy wonderfulness 

GUN SMILES SO MUCH NOW, HE’S SO SMILEY 

“i will not get to visit for a while” WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN 

everyone’s little “aoeeeee” when cher fed gun- i love this group so much 

CELEBRATING THE END OF THE INTERNSHIP WITH BBQ PORK WITH THE SQUAD, HELL YES, THAT MEANS THREEZO, IMMA TRY TO NOT COMMENTATE UNTIL THAT PART BC I WANT THREEZO ON MY SCREEN AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, I MISSED THEM DEEPLY 

“can i take a quick nap” bro its your last day 

cher why do you keep looking sad 

what are you not telling us 

and can you please tell us 

please 

and thank you 

HELL YES OKAY ITS ALREADY BBQ PORK TIME WITH THE SQUAD 

AND THEYRE ALL SO PRETTY 

I LVOE JACK’S FACE IN THIS ONE FRAME 

I WONT PUT THE SCREENSHOT HERE THO BC I DONT WANNA WASTE MY LIMITED PHOTO SPACE 

BUT I LOVE IT SO MUCH 

THREEZO 

“we didnt think he was gonna make it!” honestly, fair 

I LOVE SEEING HOW SMILEY JACK IS NOW 

it really brings out his hair 

(im kidding) 

HE MAKES ME HAPPY WHEN HE IS HAPPY 

seriously how is he so pretty 

jack how are you pretty 

and why are you pretty 

hes pretty while drinking a cup of water 

what the hell 

FHBFHBFHBFHFBHFBFHBFHBF I AM SUPRESSING THE SOUNDS OF DYING BECAUSE ITS 10:30 AND MY FAMILY ARE GOING TO SLEEP NOW BUT GOSH DARNNIT THREEZO ARE TOO CUTE 

“im drunk” “but you just had plain water” “im drunk in LOVE” GIUJEBRDNGOIREHNDL 

man has never seen a vegetable in his entire life 

THE WAY ZO SMILES AT THREE 

IM DYING, SOBBING, CRYING 

THEY’RE THE WORST 

I LOVE THEM 

“boss, if you’re shaped by our society, you’ll be great. no worries. you will do so great.” i wholeheartedly agree, their group is perfection 

I WANT TO IMPLANT THIS SCENE ON MY SKULL 

literally all i can think about rn is jack’s hair 

I LOVE CHERJACK’S FRIENDSHIP SO FREAKING MUCH 

MY BOYS 

GHRKDBGRHKDBG 

chergun are so pretty 

theyre both so pretty 

i love them 

theyre so pretty 

no i will not stop mentioning how pretty people are 

AWWW THE LITELL KISE 

“your latest kiss and every kiss from now until forever. im the only one allowed to kiss you.” GUERJDHJOB 

i love all the litell kisez 

look, i know all the translations say the same thing. but somehow it just feels like the the italian translations of it are always so much more beautiful and poetic than the english translations. 

im gonna go on a bit of a languages rant for a sec so if you dont care, ill end it by saying COCKADOODLEDOO in all caps like that so look for that and read from there 

anyway 

in english it’s “you’re my happiness, cher”, which, yeah, that’s super sweet 

but then the italian translation is “tu per me sei la felicità, cher” which means ‘you for me are the happiness, cher’ 

and then he says “the happiness that ive never had before” which is just all the feels at once 

but then it’s “quella felicità che non avevo mai raggiunto prima” 

which is ‘that happiness that i never had reached before’ WHICH IS JUST- 

its the way its worded 

i cant explain it 

its just better 

and then cher says “remember this.... if im your happiness, boss, it will never be gone” 

OR IN ANOTHER COUNTRY, HE SAYS “tieni a mente questo... se io per sono la felicità, capo, niente potrà portatela via” 

in other words, ‘hold in mind this... if i for i am the happiness, boss, nothing will be able to take it away’ 

DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN NOW??? 

"i will be your happiness forever” BORINGGG 

“io sarò per sempre la tua felicità” AWESOME 

‘i will be for always your happiness’ DUDE 

(also obviously these are all very literal translations, i havent bothered to switch around the order of words to fit the english language because you know what the english option is, i need you to understand just how poetic it is in italian) 

i freaking love it so much 

anyway COCKADOODLEDOO 

NOOOOOO WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DO THATTTT 

guys i think the bed is still on an angle 

theyre not listening to me 

its a safety hazard 

seriously 

fix the freaking mattress ITS NOT THAT HARD JUST SCOOT IT OVER A LITTLE BIT 

gun wakes up to cher gone and his intern badge thingy on the pillow 

i sure hope cher sent him a text or something 

cos otherwise hes gonna be real worried 

ive seen how this plays out in too many bls 

before you know it, gun’s gonna call his closest friends and eventually cher will show up, only to reveal that he put their friend’s nephew in a children’s home on the other side of the country, and they all freak out and it turns out cher was messing with them 

hypothetically of course 

just a situation i randomly pulled out of my head 

PHEW OKAY he left him a note 

gosh freaking darnnit its 11:15pm already (how did that happen), i started at 8pm (how did THAT happen), and im literally only halfway through the episode (HOW DID THAT HAPPEN), and im way too exhausted to continue. ill have to finish it tomorrow. 

BYE BYE FOLKS, I LOVE YOU, HAVE A WONDERFUL EVENING/DAY/WHATEVER, ILL SEE YOU TOMORROW FOR MORE REALLY BAD COMMENTARY WHERE I JUST SAY HOW PRETTY EVERYONE IS 

(btw i rly hope everyone managed to stay hydrated) 

[liu-lang]

my mum's birthday just passed ; we're still in the midst of surviving it. my little sister decided to fly out to vegas to be with her and within like 48 hours texted my twin and i that she was overwhelmed and was having "a bit of a mental breakdown / depressive episode"

my twin actually brought up the last text our mum sent about not having a mother but... our mum just ignored it ? it was pretty jarring to receive the above in response to us just wishing her happy birthday ? but then again it's the standard fare of : the twins are evil, don't cry when she dies bc we were unloving and unkind when she was alive, vitriol towards my twin's husband etc etc

as for myself, i started feeling discomfort and pain saturday june 17 then by the day of her birthday, i had to go to urgent care right after the facetime call and turns out i, for once, tested positive for a UTI. now i'm on one week of macrobid.

i don't think i mentioned this but may 9, i saw another gynaecologist where they used a catheter to collect a sample directly from my bladder. in addition to the standard tests, they ran additional ones and detected ureaplasma parvum and i was on 100 mg doxycycline for 2 weeks. i had no other symptoms during this time

previous to my may 9 appt, i had saw another gynae in the bronx in like ... april ? whose specialty was pelvic floor stuff ...and she brought up interstitial cystitis as a possible dx which makes me think of this article. (there are parallels like going to grad school in nyc and life getting smaller and this being a bit of an embarrassing issue)

but anyway, it didn't even occur to me that this set of symptoms coincided with my mum's birthday ... since nov 2022, there's this pattern where if i'm under stress related to my mum i will either have abnormal uterine bleeding or these painful UTI-like symptoms without the tests ever coming back positive.

during the facetime call my mum expressed immense hurt and displeasure that my twin and i didn't come and that her friends' kids will just drop everything and fly out even for one day to see their mothers. it stung when she said it literally "costs us nothing" when in actuality... it costs real money ?? and also my physical health to be in contact with her. i know no contact is an option but disentangling oneself from this family dynamic is difficult. even i don't understand my thought process fully behind continuing to communicate with her if i'm having such bad physical reactions.

the one good thing about the facetime call was it actually wasn't as horrible as i thought it was going to be (i know, if this wasn't terrible, then what actually would constitute as terrible ?) ... my main fear is that my mum can exert some sort of control over my life or make me do something that i don't want to (like move back to the west coast) but if this fear is rooted in a narrative that i developed in childhood when i had no power then it is also a story i can un-tell myself. i was genuinely fearful i was going to have a more debilitating emotional reaction...... that i'll actually take the physical pain and bleeding over the mental and emotional anguish that would have pushed me into engaging in eating disorder behaviours