#like i wanna cry guys i can’t do it anymore
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problematicfanfics · 1 year ago
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rant/vent but
since i’m on vacation with my family i’m actually at my wit’s end. i have no privacy. i have been sleeping in the same room as both my parents, my sister and my grandma for the past two weeks. i’m genuinely crying dude. like i can’t be happy around them. they decimate everything i find joy in and everything about myself i like. i’m so over this. sleeping in close quarters is just making me feel like shit again and reminds me of all those fucking years i spent as a kid fucking battling poverty and couch surfing with my family. like i hate it. it’s so traumatizing. my sister has like no memory of it because she was like 3 so for her this is all cutesy poor core aesthetic. i’m ripping my fucking hair out. before we left my mom was hounding me, asking me if i wanted a hair appt, a nail appt, to go buy clothes. i said no. i said the only thing i wanted was a wax because shaving is a pain in the ass. she forgot. but u wanna know what she didn’t forget? my sister’s wax appt. my sister’s chemical hair straightening treatment. all the stores my sister wanted to go to. my sister’s $160 nail appointment. like are u fucking kidding me? then the day before i asked my mom “when is my wax appointment?” and she BLEW UP at me saying i should’ve made it, it’s my job to make it. last month i made a dentist appt for my tooth whitening like she told me to and she got mad because I MADE THE APPOINTMENT. i can’t fucking win. then on top of it all for the first time in like months i wanted to get my nails done bc they’re hella cheap and really high quality in greece and once again, my mom forgot. she said “if you wanted it you should’ve gone.” i said mom, i can’t speak greek like that. i don’t want them to scam me. i don’t know what nails are supposed to cost. i’ve gotten my nails done professionally two times in my seventeen years of existence. idk shit about them. but no, i’m the issue. i’m the fucking issue. every time i open my mouth they say i’m giving them attitude when i’m literally just speaking or asking a question. they say i’m too quiet then yell at me for being too loud. they say everything i enjoy is stupid or childish. they won’t give me ANY personal space. they keep ganging up on me with my sister. my sister has been the biggest thorn in my side though. she’s such a pos. like idk how to explain this to y’all. she’s a fucking brat. we couldn’t be further from different. i’m scared to buy myself food with my parents’ money. my sister spends upwards of $100 a week on food, clothing, makeup, etc. with no regard for my parents’ time or finances. she steamrolls over everyone’s emotions to make room for hers, which are usually disgust and anger, and constantly puts everyone in a bad mood. my dad is ALWAYS out to get me despite the fact i try my fuckin hardest to keep the peace between us. my mom is so fucking bipolar i never know what i’m getting. my dad and mom are at each other’s throats. my yiayia lectures me on shit when i’m mad that isn’t even remotely related to the reason i’m mad ever and it pisses me off even more and i desperately try to give her the benefit of the doubt bc english isn’t her first language but she does the SAME DAMN THING IN GREEK LIKE BRO. i met ONE GIRL in this STUPID fucking horio BUT I LEAVE IN TWO DAYS. AND TOMORROW IM NOT EVEN IN THIS HORIO IM OFF TO THE MAIN AREA. like fuck off bro. and the girl mainly speaks greek which is fine but it gets hard bc i’m not the absolute best in it (i’m sm better in other languages bro no one bothered teaching me greek and you’d THINK my GREEK FAMILY would teach me greek and wouldn’t be mad over the fact i don’t know greek bc yk THEYRE MY FAMILY AND THEYRE SUPPOSED TO TEACH ME but no everything is my fault). and she’s sweet but this is her summer vacation spot so she has hella friends here already and i can tell i’m just “the girl next door she has to hang out with”. i feel bad i don’t want to drag her from her friends or insert myself in her plans but for the first time in god knows how long i felt normal today just because i finally had someone close in age.
elevator music and the smiths have carried the brunt of my emotions these past two weeks i can’t lie.
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girlyteengirl16 · 18 days ago
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when i remember the way things went and my stomach starts twisting
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flowercrowngods · 1 year ago
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always so funky to be reminded that your parents might love you but they don’t actually like you very much
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friedroses · 2 years ago
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#you guys ever just get that random urge to burst into tears over something very small#i felt stupid bc I asked a friend in a different timezone if they wanted to talk on the phone when it was like midnight there#they said they couldn’t sleep so my ass was like oh do u wanna talk then#as if that’s not the opposite of what they’re trying to do#and they very nicely in the most polite and lovely way declined bc they have work in the morning#and were very sweet about it#and i’m not upset with them at all but i just got so upset with myself#like i felt stupid and selfish to ask because i know it’s really me that wants the company and it feels like i can’t talk to anyone anymore#every friend reaches a point where they get tired of me and can’t handle it anymore so they leave#and i understand! i’m a lot. even for myself#and i don’t know how to stop being unlikeable and unloveable and just shut the fuck up for oncr becsusr i always a say too much#i can never leave well enough alone#and i cry so easily now it’s annoying#even my family members have all gotten sick of me#my mom started screaming at me the other day and basically told me that I’m annoying and she dislikes me#and i couldn’t even acknowledge her for 3 days not bc i was trying to be petty but bc i could not handle seeing her#without thinking about what she said#and she’s still fucking pissed at me for the original conversation where I was asking if we could divide the cleaning in the house equally#or at least more equally. bc everything gets so messy and cluttered and it stresses me out so much#and i feel like i’m the only one cleaning up after 3 other adults who don’t give any consideration to leaving shit everywhere#and she basically told me to shut tf up and stop trying to act like i’m her parent#as if she didn’t parentify the fuck out of me as a child and use me as a therapist and tell me to be the bigger person every time my older#sister did something fucked up to me#and she- my mom- is being hella passive aggressive now and the vibes are just so toxic i feel like i can’t breathe ar home#like i just want to sleep i don’t want to be home or even conscious#i’m so tired of making myself as tiny as I can and still being made to feel like i take up too much space#emotionally and physically#i just want it to be over#and i want to tell someone but i don’t want to burden anyone or talk too much bc it’s all negative and i don’t want them to get tired of me#i finally made some friends through school and it’s fun to be in a group of people again but i’m so scared i’m going to ruin it
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harukaluvr · 2 days ago
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guys I cant
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back2bluesidex · 1 year ago
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Standing Next To You - JJK (18+)
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Pairing: Idol!Jungkook X Fem!Reader
Theme: PWP, SMUT, Angst, Fluff, established relationship au
Wordcount: 1.2k+
Summary: Your and Jungkook's relationship is all about dark rooms, shadows, rendezvous and secrecy. It pains you to even think that you can't claim him as yours in front of the world. But Jungkook is always there to set your fears free because he loves you even more than you love him.
Warnings: public sex, backstage sex, explicit sex, crying, moaning, dirty talk, spitting, unprotected sex (don't try this at home), creampie, multiple orgasm, Jungkook is whipped. NSFW!!!
Minors are not allowed in this blog!!
A/N: This turned out to be more angsty than I intended it to be lol. But it's spicy regardless.
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“Baby please! Just one kiss?” Jungkook whispers right next to your ear. 
“Jungkook… we can’t!” you reply as silently as possible, shoving him a little bit, making sure not to shake up the makeshift changing room. 
“We can. Just a quickie won’t hurt, baby.” He presses his body on yours even more. Your steps falter, being unable to take the weight of his body on yours. 
“Quicky? Are you out of your mind? You are two minutes away from your performance! You wanna exhaust yourself now?” you try to put some senses in his mind, while shoving him away again. But he won’t budge and you are no match for his well-worked-out, manly, buff physique. 
“Come on, Y/N. Please. I beg you.” Jungkook’s mouth already sits on your throat, placing soft and small kisses, which will soon turn into bruising possessiveness painted just for the world to see.
So bad you can’t paint him like you. You can’t claim him to be yours in front of the world. 
Jungkook’s mouth does its part of reaching to your sweet spot and nibbling as hard as he can. 
You hiss. The sensession gathers heat in your stomach.
“Don’t mark me!” you spat at him, a little more harshly than you intended it to be. But you can’t help it. This secrecy of your relationship has been taking a toll on you lately. You have been drowsed into a spiral of overbearing thoughts. The continuous surveillance of his label on your life, your relationship, is unsettling you way too much. 
Jungkook’s pretty eyes widen at your harsh tone. 
It’s new. The way you have been protesting today, almost shoving him away from your body, resisting his kisses and now asking him not to mark you, all of it is new. 
In two years of your secret relationship, it has become pretty usual for you guys to find a rendezvous and claim each other inside shadows. You never had a problem with it… until today. 
“Has anything happened? Did the company do anything again?” Jungkook stares deep into your eyes. Confusions, questions and even fears spill out of his dark orbs. You know if you don’t distract him now, he will read you out and that may hamper his upcoming performance. 
“No-nothing.” your murmur, this time pulling him closer to you, “I signed an NDA, Jungkook. Do you want your label to come after me for sporting your hickeys in front of all the staff and reporters backstage?” 
Jungkook’s skilled hand unbuttons your jeans and slides inside your underwear within a few seconds. Your eyes fall shut as soon as his rough fingers come in contact with your clit. 
Jungkook smirks at your reaction. It’s amazing how contrasting your statements and your reactions are. He knows only he can do this to you. Only he can break your resolve and take away all of your senses. 
“All I want, darling, is” he plunges two of his fingers into your leaking hole while the fat of his thumb draws smooth circles on your clit, “to fuck you raw in front of everyone so that they know you belong to me. I don’t want this secrecy anymore. I want to tell everyone that I am all yours and only yours.” 
Your fingers dig on Jungkook’s naked biceps as he scissors his fingers and stretches your hole out. His words set your heart on overdrive.
“My fat cock drilled you so many times but you are still so tight, fuck! You-” he groans as you moan his name, “you are perfect. I love you so fucking much.” with that he twists his fingers and presses on your g-spot and then within a few seconds you are spasming all over his hands and your underwear. 
“Fuck baby. You cummed so much. You will take me now like a good girl. Won’t you?” He does a quick job of undoing his belt and pants. 
You probably should thank his stylist before heading home. These dress pants and buttoned up vest have elevated his entire look on a different level. The sleeveless vest provides the entire view of his tattooed arm, something that you are totally weak for. You started salivating the moment he emerged from the green room. But before you could compliment him, he was dragging you towards this dingy space. 
Jungkook’s cock springs out of his boxers and slaps against his abdomen. 
Your eyes greedily fall on his erection as he spreads his palm before your mouth. You look up at him feigning innocence.
“Spit.” he orders. And you spit. 
He pumps his length a few times preparing it to lodge inside you. Meanwhile you kick your heels off, strip off your jeans and panties and make yourself ready. 
“Good girl” Jungkook murmurs as he lines his cock on your entrance. Wrapping your hands around his neck, you keep him as close as possible. 
Once Jungkook’s tip is inside your cunt, he pushes the rest in one go. Your body jerks up as an impact, silent curses falling out of your lips. Giving you time to adjust, he unbuttons your blouse, pulls down your bra and sets your tits free. 
“Move now.” you whisper, which Jungkook complies to. 
Your back hits the wall as he thrusts into you roughly making you groan.
His thrusts are so rough and deep right from the start that you start moaning even when you know you should not. Even when you know what the result could be. 
Jungkook winds up one hand around your waist to keep you steady, places another hand on one of your tit massaging it gently and seals his mouth with yours in an earth-shattering kiss. 
His lips are desperate. He raves you with so much passion that you want to cry. Nobody can love you as much as Jungkook and yet you can’t even show off this love. 
His hips are restless. His cock deliciously pounds into your sloppy cunt making it tough for you to even breathe properly. 
He groans into your mouth as you cum for a second time in less than ten minutes, coating his cock with your juices. 
Your orgasm triggers his own and Jungkook unloads himself inside you. Shooting his white, thick, hotness inside you, he paints your walls, claims you in his own way.
“Jungkook, you are next in the line.” his manager screams from outside. There is an annoyance in his tone that suggests that he knows what exactly are you two up to. 
“I’m out in two minutes, hyung.” Jungkook screams back breathlessly. 
You get teary. Jungkook is about to return to his place. He will perform and thousands of souls will fall in love with him yet again. All while you will stand under his shadow, in secrecy, so that no one knows of your existence, of the love that is blooming in between you two.
As if reading your mind, Jungkook opens his mouth to ease your fears, “We'll survive the test of time, Y/N. No matter what the situation is, they can’t deny our love. They can’t divide us. Just a few more days, baby and then I will proudly be standing next to you. I promise.” 
Your tears fall free and he kisses those away. Two pairs of lips meet again as he tries to seal the moment before he leaves you alone for the rest of the night.
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Taglist:
@phenomenalgirl9 @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @sukunabitch @chimchimmarie @coffeedepressionsoup @meowstake @vonvi-blog @nochuel @chimmisbae
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sserasin · 8 months ago
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ruination
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cw nsfw under cut, noncon, dead dove do not eat, female reader, degradation, car sex, use of degrading names (fucktoy, slut, cumdump), choking, overstimulation, heeseung cums inside.
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“what did you fuckin’ expect?” heeseung grunts, your hair wrapped around his fist as he pulls your body up against his, breath hitting your ear. your eyes are squeezed shut, small whimpers escaping your mouth the harder heeseung slams into you. “going around and wearing shit like that? wanna go show off your ass and tits to a bunch of horny fuckers, might as well give you what you wanted.”
“hee—heeseu—” a loud cry leaves your lips when he gives a swift but just as hard smack to your ass, barely even able to feel the sting from the millionth time he’s done this.
“shut the fuck up,” he pushes your head back down into the backseat, “fucktoys don’t talk.”
squeezing your eyes shut tighter didn’t do anything for your tears, just pushing them out even quicker. if you could think of something happier… but the feeling of him stuffing you full was overwhelming, making you lose grasp of reality.
“you can’t fool me,” heeseung hisses your name through gritted teeth, as if he’s even disgusted to say your name, “saying you’re a virgin… no virgin would be easily sucking me in like this.”
your head turns to the side, revealing your teary eyes with tears rushing down your cheeks, “heeseung, p-please, stop. i-it hurts!”
“‘cause you like it like that,” he huffs, hips snapping into yours at a brutal pace. “like all dirty sluts do. you like to be put in your place, you like the pain. i know you do.”
you gasp out in a mix of mortification and pleasure as the head of his cock kisses your cervix. heeseung notices, chuckling as he pulls out without warning and flips you over, quick to push himself back in your wet, puffy cunt. you whimper at the intrusion, blinking back tears as you keep your eyes on the necklace that swings from his neck in your face.
“see, i knew you liked it,” he whispers, leaning down to press his lips to yours only for you to turn your head to the side so his mouth was against your cheek. his brow raises, slowly thrusting in and out of you but with enough force to make your entire body move. “i suggest you let me kiss you.”
with tears streaming down your cheeks, you turn and keep still as he moves his lips against yours, not all caring that you weren’t responding to the kiss. he was right. you were a dirty slut, weren’t you? you had to be— how else could you be this wet?
heeseung pulls back, glee in his eyes, “i’ve always wanted to do that.” his eyes then darken, “but you never gave me the time of day, did you?” you didn’t notice his hand had moved to your collarbone, slowly increasing your anxiety as his hand finally rests on your neck. his rings are cold around your burning hot neck. he doesn’t squeeze, not yet. “stupid slut was always busy fucking around with her friends’ boyfriends and giving fuck me eyes to all the wrong guys.”
your eyes widen, “no, no,” you attempt to shake your head, but his hand tightens around your neck. your eyes dart to his necklace again, trying to copy the calm swing and repeat it with your breathing. up, in. down, out. but it’s your mistake— heeseung’s grip keeps getting tighter and tighter.
“i told you, you can’t fool me,” heeseung says, eyes burning a hole straight through you. you’re letting out choked gasps, but it only has his cocking twitching inside you.
dots begin to blur your vision, chest tightening with the squeeze on your neck. your walls tighten around his cock in retaliation, making him groan before letting go of your neck and lifting your leg up over his shoulder. there’s a burning in your thigh, but it doesn’t matter when your vision isn’t just colors anymore and all you see is a blurred heeseung over you.
“i’m going to ruin you and that perfect fucking image of yours,” he snaps his hips up, immediately slamming into your g-spot. your hands clutch at the top of the car seat, squeezing your eyes shut and biting down on your lip. think of something else. not his cock hammering repeatedly into you, not the tightening in your stomach or your legs trembling. you wish you could focus on the necklace again.
you cream around his cock, a weak whimper finally leaving your mouth. but heeseung continues to fuck you, his thick cock dragging against your walls. the pleasure soon turned into pain again, grunts coming from his lips as your hand weakly tries to push him away, “ah, ah, heeseu— stop! ‘t’s too fast, please—“ you weakly sob out, but not a tear leaves your eyes. you wonder if you’ve cried all your tears out.
“shut up,” he groans, hips snapping up to hit the soft spongy spot with each word, “and lay there and fucking take it.” his hand comes to grip your jaw, pulling you into a kiss as his thrusts become weak and sloppy. “f—fuck, i’m go—going to fill you up with my cum,” he grunts making your eyes widen.
“wh—what?” you stammer, fists trying to punch him away again. “heeseung, don’t—”
“ruin y—you for all oth—other guys,” he continues like you’re not even talking, writhing under him for him to get off. “no guy wants a fucking cumdump as their girlfriend,” he grits out, bottoming out in you with a low groan and releases inside of you with three quick squirts. his head is thrown back, ecstasy shown on his face as he pants above you.
you watch him through lidded eyes, hoping this was it. he was done with you. you could go get plan b, and forget this day ever happened.
heeseung’s head lowers, dark eyes settling on you and dread begins to fill your chest again. you can feel his cock hardening in you again, a squeak leaving your lips as it stretches out your abused walls.
“i’m not done with you yet,” he whispers in your ear, pressing a soft kiss under your jaw. it feels misleading. “i told you i was going to ruin you.”
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citricacidprince · 3 months ago
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doodle request on relativity falls - id love 2 see ur vers of fiddleford and where he stands in the story!! :DD
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Of course!!!
Oh Fiddleford, my dearly beloved Fiddleford, he’s just a little guy who makes machines that hurt people and I love him for that <3
In my Relativity Falls AU Fidds is a kid from Tennessee who moved to Gravity Falls pretty recently, like in the past year.
He’s still really handy with mechanics, like a genuine prodigy, but he’s so riddled with anxiety that it’s a battle to get him to share any of his projects outside of his robots he makes to get revenge on those who wrong him!
He really does like hanging out with the twins, he thinks their both fun and is very happy they actually wanna be his friend, however their constant ‘Getting into weird and magical trouble’ is so stress inducing to him he’s going to get gray hairs by the time he’s 20 (Dipper can relate-)
I don’t have a lot of things solidified for him yet, other than I want him to be EXTREMELY tempted to use the Memory Gun on himself, to forget a lot of the horrifying things he’s seen over the summer, but is stopped by Candy (The inventor of the gun) at the last second. You see, Candy didn’t spiral like Fiddleford did in the show, she only ever used the memory gun on herself once. However, she used it to erase every bit of knowledge she ever learned about the weirdness of Gravity Falls, and Candy had spent YEARS of her life dedicated to it, she was arguably more curious about the weirdness of Gravity Falls than Dipper was. He was only curious out of morbid curiosity, she saw the whimsy and wonder in it all. So when Candy used the Memory Gun on herself and erased such a huge chunk of her memory it cracked her psyche, not leaving her a rambling and insane kook like Fiddleford, but more oblivious and unaware to everything around her while also being a liiiiittle ‘not all there’.
Between the two of them Candy definitely got the better end of the stick. Fiddleford was deemed insane and used the memory gun over and over again until he couldn’t even remember who he was anyone, his life falling apart. Candy used it once to make sure no one could ever use her research to hurt anyone after she learned her lab partner was literally working with an otherworldly being who could go into peoples heads and it cracked her mind because her research WAS her entire life, leaving her oblivious and dazed. However, Candy managed to find people who cared about her and were willing to care for her despite this. Sure she lives in the dump, but whenever a storm comes through or she gets hungry she can always go up to her friends Grenda, Mabel Mason, or even Pacifica at some point to help her out. Fiddleford had no one.
I want Candy to give Fidds a little pep talk, convincing him that despite those memories being scary and uncomfortable he’s going to need all of them because they’re what will help him grow as a person. He can’t just pick and choose which ones he wants because one day he’ll realize he doesn’t have any memories left to burn.
Maybe there could even be a moment where Fidds tries to use the memory gun on Candy because he convinces himself he NEEDS it and doesn’t want to deal with the consequences of hating choice, but freezes up when he realizes it does work on her anymore. The realizes what he just did because of how badly he wanted that memory gun seconds after he did it and starts to tremble, dropping the memory gun as he begins uncontrollably crying that he ‘didn’t mean it’ and he’s sorry. Candy wouldn’t hold it against him, just seeing a scared kid who was so desperate to make the mind numbing anxiety that he would do anything, and she’d hug him and tell him it’s okay before leading him back to the rest of the group.
Fiddleford makes me soooo ill I love him <3
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tinystarbites · 2 months ago
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accidents pt. 1.5 | Spencer Reid x Reader
Okay so, WOW. I am completely blown away by the response to my first fic on here, 120 followers in 6 days are you guys okay? Because I am definitely not :,). While accidents pt. II isnt quite finished just yet (thank you so much for being so patient with me<3 uni is kicking my ass already rip), I thought I'd give you all a small sneak peek, aka the first 800-ish words of the second part. I hope you enjoy and thank you all so so much for the generous feedback so far!! <333 I'll go rewatch my genetics lecture now yippie :,,,,)
here you can read the entire first part, please head the warnings! Same ones apply here. also, if you wanna get tagged in pt. II, let me know in the comments!
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Spencer’s never sprung from his bed faster in his life before.
His heart is a jackhammer in his chest, chipping away at his ribs one bone splitter at a time because-
It’s you. In front of his door. And Spencer is so hard it hurts but- he can’t just-
“Spencer?”
He sucks in a haggard breath, hands reaching up and messing up his hair even more. His thoughts are everywhere and nowhere at once and he just needs to- needs just a moment to-
“Uh, yeah, just a second!”, he calls back, voice scratchy and used from the- the moaning Jesus Christ because he was about to come with your mental image and he somehow, magically, managed to apparently conjure you up in front of his door with his pathetic pining and oh god-
He has to- ugh- has to wash his hands and make it go away and –
“Okay, I’ll just…chill with that weird plant here.”
An overwhelmed whimper slips past his lips and he just, stands there for at least another five seconds before something in his mind snaps back into place and he rushes to the small, adjacent bathroom of his room.
After he thoroughly washed his hands, his erection has flagged off enough so that it’s not the first thing greeting you when he opens the door and thank god for that.
And oh- seeing you after doing that actually knocks the wind out of his lungs because you are just so goddamn lovely it makes Spencer want to do stupid, stupid things like cry or kiss you or spontaneously combust into a million pieces.
For once, he does something okay-ishly sensible though.
“Hi.”
You look at him, one eyebrow raised in amusement or scepticism, he doesn’t know for sure. Your eyes hold mirthful sparkles in them when he finally manages to meet your gaze, so he settles for the former of the two options.
You’re not wearing your work clothes anymore. Rather, you went for a cozy looking, oversized sweater and funkily patterned leggings. Your fashion sense outside of work always reminded Spencer of Penelope’s.
“Hi to yourself”, you chuckle, “Can I come in or are you too busy reading ten books at once?”
Spencer feels himself flush under your gentle teasing.
��Only seven books. But, yes, of course you can come in.”
He turns out of the way, creating room for you to pass him into his room. As soon as you are inside, you don’t hesitate to jump onto his bed and flop on your back with your arms spread wide.
Spencer’s breath hitches and he has to do some very extensive mental gymnastics to supress all the inappropriate thoughts from escaping the box he banished them into. Controlling his body’s response to seeing you in the same bed he was just jacking off in is… a different story. He pulls down the hem of his shirt as discreetly as possible, as he takes a seat next to you. Making sure that there is not too much distance between you two as to raise any suspicion and make it obvious he’s trying to get some distance between you, but also enough space so that he isn’t enticed to do anything unwise. Like, reach out and feel your warmth underneath his fingers. Or the softness of your skin. Or anything else really.
The more seconds tick by in which neither of you say anything, the more nervous Spencer becomes. He starts fiddling around with his fingers, aborting more than one move to steal a glance at your face to see what you’re thinking.
“Spencer”, you then finally say, voice kind of pout-y and if that didn’t make Spencer whip his head around to face you, the next thing you say for sure does. “Do you hate me?”
“Wha-“, he sputters your name, “No- no! Of course, I don’t- whe- why would you think that?”
You let out an exasperated groan, moving around until you are lying on your side, head propped up on your arm and frowning up at him. “Because you’ve been acting hella weird these last few days and you won’t tell me whyyyy”, you drag out the last syllable, pout on your lips and Spencer has to look up at the ceiling or else he’s just going to confess everything without second thought and that will definitely not happen.
“I haven’t been acting weird, really, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
You remain silent again and Spencer feels the judging glare you send his way without having to look at you. Yes, he has been acting weird, he knows that, but you can never ever know the reason why tha-
“Is it because you saw my nudes?”
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oh spencer, you weren't quite as subtle as you thought. rip my boy. also whooops another cliffhanger? haha my fingers must've slipped my bad
tags: @sebastiansstanswhore @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx
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aphroditesswan · 1 month ago
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orgasm denial w kinich 🙏🙏 like he's ramming into u hard but once he feels that ur abt to cum, he slows down his pace and repeats until he finally lets u cum all over him🤭🤭
how could i ever say no to requests? esp when you guys match my freak 🫦
fem reader + mexican kinich, orgasm denial obviii, praise, rough sex, p in v, implied squirting, implied dumbification, biting n such 👅👅
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he’d do absolutely anything to hear you cry his name. now kinich wasn’t evil, but he was mean.
if anything, he was bordering on cruel with the pace he set. archons sake, you couldn’t even think of a time today or in the past few days where you could’ve warranted this treatment. sure, kinich was mean but not often was he this mean.
you couldn’t even really think straight anyways with how he picked up his pace, almost completely ignoring the dangerous creaking of the bed.
“kin-! please, pleaseee don’t slow this time.” how you managed to get that through moans and whimpers he couldn’t believe, but you’re crazy if you think he’s letting up.
“shhh, it’s barely been an hour, just a bit more hermosa.”
it wasn’t his fault, really. with him at the edge of the bed with you in front of him, just looking up at him and holding onto his shoulders for dear life, kinich swore he would’ve came ages ago if not for the shred of self control he had.
he enjoyed your begging above all else. seeing just how much you could plead with him before either your voice or your brain gave out. he could tell a lot from just your voice, how it pitched a bit when he hit just the right spot inside you, how you pleaded just a little bit more desperately when you were close for the nth time that night.
that was his signal to slow to the most agonizing pace he could with how he could feel his own self control slipping.
he couldn’t keep this up forever and he knew it, even he had his limits and they most certainly were being tested tonight. he had closed his eyes to focus on not cumming when he felt your hand snake up to the back of his neck with the other still holding his bicep. fuck, he was gonna cum if you kept touching him like that.
he was already leaning over you, but he could feel you pulling him further down so his chest almost touched yours. the slow of pace was very necessary now because damn it he was so close and damn you because you could tell.
“please kin go faster?”
he heard the breath and the desperation in your voice and he suddenly didn’t care anymore, his own moans filling your ears as he picked up the pace again.
“fuck, you were waiting huh? cum when you wanna, mi hermosa.”
he grabbed the hand the held the back of his neck and kissed your knuckles before leaning down to kiss down your neck and leave bites where he saw fit. this time, his pace didn’t falter when he felt you were close. he brought his hand down to rub quick circles to your clit, mumbling something in your ear that you could barely comprehend in your state.
“there you go baby, thats it. you wanna cum, yeah? almost there, princesa- fuck,,”
he held your hip with one hand just to steady you, going a bit harder than before just to get you to finish with him. he enjoyed the way your hands held onto him so desperately, how your legs twitched and moved to wrap around him before he pushed them back down. kinich is a responsible man, he can’t cum inside you yet. he still has the smallest shred of self control.
he enjoyed the way your voice pitched as you coated him with yourself, but the satisfaction on his face when he got you like this showed so much more than just enjoyment. he could almost see that same look in your eyes when he released onto your stomach, panting from both of you filling the room instead of harmonizing moans.
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happy freaktober yall 👅👅
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marvelfanfn2187a113 · 7 months ago
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A Father’s Love?
Sam Winchester & daughter!reader, Dean Winchester & niece!reader
Requested by Anonymous
Synopsis: You (9-10) are left alone with your dad, who currently is missing his soul, and it doesn’t go well
Update: part 2 is here
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“Uncle De, please don’t go.” Your voice was low as you tried to keep your dad—who was in the bathroom—from hearing. “I-I don’t wanna be alone with him.”
Dean felt awful for leaving you like this, but he had no choice. You hadn’t been comfortable with Sam since the moment you’d found out he was back—the same time Dean did. You’d been living with Dean, Lisa, and Ben, and when Sam revealed that he’d been back all along, you instantly didn’t trust him. Dean had been angry, sure, but somehow he just hadn’t seen what you had—that your dad wasn’t really himself.
Of course, eventually the three of you—including Sam, who hadn’t been sure what was wrong with him—discovered the truth: he was soulless. As soon as Dean find out, he felt horrible for not understanding your hesitance before. Now that he knew, he tried to avoid leaving you alone with Sam whenever possible, especially since he didn’t really trust Sam without a soul.
But sometimes it was unavoidable.
“Kiddo, you know I don’t have a choice,” Dean said.
“I don’t like it here with him,” you insisted, refusing to let go of Dean’s sleeve. “He-he’s like daddy’s evil twin or something.”
Dean swallowed. “Sweetheart, he’s not evil, ok? He’s just a little weird right now.”
“Daddy’s weird,” you argued. “This guy is bad.”
Dean ran a hand over his face.
“Baby, please. You know I have to go. He’s gonna be good, I promise, and soon enough he’s gonna be back to regular-old dad, I swear.”
Dean left without another word, and the silence that hung in the motel room was deafening.
“Dean left?” Sam asked as he exited the bathroom. You ignored his question—he didn’t actually care, after all—and you went to sit on your bed. You could feel Sam’s eyes on you as you went. The motel stayed the worst kind of silence as you pretended to read while Sam just stared at you.
“What do you want?” You demanded finally, dropping the book. Your voice was nowhere near as firm as you wanted it to be.
“You hate me.” It wasn’t a question.
“You hated me first.” Unlike Sam, you couldn’t look at him while you accused him. Even without looking at the shell that used to be your dad, you could feel tears pricking at the back of your eyes as you waited for him to speak.
“I don’t hate you,” he huffed. “I mean, I don’t particularly care about you, but I don’t hate you.”
Somehow, apathy was even worse.
“Just leave me alone,” you mumbled. You shouldn’t have been surprised when Sam shrugged and obeyed. You felt your eyes drifting to him as he pulled a beer from the fridge and took it to his bed. His eyes caught yours and he frowned.
“What? You said leave you alone.”
“Dad wouldn’t have listened,” you mumbled, but Sam heard you anyway.
“Well, I’m not your dad,” Sam shrugged. “I’m not Sam, not anymore.”
“Ok.” You turned to face away from him. “Now I mean it. Leave me be.”
But Sam was suddenly intrigued, and he ignored your request.
“You and Dean wanted me to stop pretending to be him. This is just me not pretending.”
“Doesn’t mean I have to like you,” you said, your eyes downcast.
“Exactly, and I don’t like you either. I mean, you’re kind of a brat.”
“I told you to leave me alone,” you said, finally looking up.
“You beg Dean to keep you with him all the time like I’m gonna hurt you or something, it’s pathetic.” Sam seemed to be getting a real kick out of finally saying all that he’d been thinking over the past few weeks.
“I said leave me alone!” You yelled at him, but he didn’t listen.
“I mean, I remember caring about you when I was that other guy, I just…I just can’t remember why.”
“Go away! Leave me be!” You were on your feet now, shoving and pushing at Sam, but the giant man didn’t even flinch.
“I mean your just a little pest!”
“Stop it! Just go away!”
Crying, overwhelmed, and so unbelievably hurt, you started to slap at the guy who used to be your dad, smacking his neck, his face, whatever you could reach. Suddenly, Sam wasn’t having so much fun anymore.
“Hey!” Though your slaps had little effect on him, one harsh blow from Sam had you flat on your back, dazed and breathing hard. You could still feel the impact of his palm against your cheek, and you couldn’t scramble away from him fast enough.
“If you’re gonna give it out, you should be prepared to take it,” Sam muttered gruffly.
You were on your feet in an instant, and you were out the door before you’d even made the decision to leave.
“Hey!” You could hear your dad—no, not your dad—following after you, and you barely made it five steps out of the room before his arms were around you and dragging you back in.
“Stop it!” You were crying now, and you couldn’t remember when you’d started. “Let me go!”
“If I lose you, Dean’s never gonna help me,” Sam grunted, shoving you back into the room and closing the door behind him. “So how about we all just calm down here.” It wasn’t a request; it was a command. “You don’t hit me, I won’t hit you.”
That would’ve sounded reasonable enough, if not for one thing—your desperate smacks to his skin had done nothing to him, they hadn’t even hurt, but you could already feel the side of your face swelling where he’d hit you. But you didn’t argue with Sam. You didn’t even speak. You just sat on your bed and turned your back on him, pulling your legs up to your chest and burying your face in your knees so you could cry in peace.
Sam left you alone for several minutes, but his sudden hand on your shoulder had you flinching back violently and scrambling away from him.
“Would you calm down?” Sam huffed as he let go. He was holding out a frozen bag of peas. “Put this on it.”
You took it hesitantly and slowly pressed the cold bag to your face.
“Look…” Sam’s hand was back on your shoulder, only now his giant fingers were right at the junction between your neck and your shoulder, and they were squeezing way too hard. “Dean would kill me if he figured out what happened, ok? And he certainly wouldn’t be helping me anymore. So maybe…maybe you just tell him you fell in the shower or something, ok?” He said it like a question, but the grip on your shoulder and the ice in his eyes told the truth; he expected you to lie to Uncle Dean, and you didn’t know what he’d do if you didn’t.
“Ok,” you whispered, and his hand was gone in an instant.
“Ok,” he said firmly.
Then he turned his back on you and left you alone to cry.
The swelling was down by the time Dean returned, but you’d looked in the mirror long enough to see a black and purple bruise forming along almost one whole side of your face.
You resisted the urge to run to your uncle the moment he stepped in the door—if you acted scared, he would figure it out, and Sam would be mad. Instead, you stayed where you were with your head down, your hair covering most of the bruise.
“Hey,” Dean greeted. “You guys ok?”
“We’re fine,” Sam said simply. You’d been hoping that he would lie for you, so you didn’t have to, but he seemed content to leave things quiet.
“You sure?” Dean was watching you now, noticing your uncharacteristic silence.
“I’m ok,” your voice was hoarse from crying, and Dean wasn’t fooled.
“What’s wrong?” Dean was in front of you in an instant, brushing your hair behind your ears. His hand recoiled when he saw the bruise. “What happened?”
“I—“ you looked up to face Dean, and your voice caught in your throat when you saw Sam staring daggers at you from behind your uncle’s shoulder. “I f-fell.”
“Fell?” Dean frowned.
You nodded. “In-in the shower.”
“Sam.” Dean’s voice was dangerously quiet. “Out. Now.”
“Me?” When had Sam become such a good actor? He looked as innocent as ever. “What did I do?”
Despite his acting, Dean wasn’t buying it for a minute.
“Get out! I need to talk to her alone.”
The moment Sam was out the door, Dean was tilting your chin up with a feather-light hand at your chin.
“He hit you, didn’t he.” Dean wasn’t asking.
“I fell,” you lied, the tears in your eyes giving you away.
“Don’t lie for him,” Dean pleaded. “Don’t do that.”
“Don’t kick him out,” you pleaded. “We-we have to help him get his soul back. This isn’t him, Uncle Dean.”
“I know it’s not,” Dean sighed. “But I need you to be safe.”
“I’ll be safe when my dad is back.”
“You stay away from her.” Dean didn’t give Sam a chance to speak when he let him back into the room.
“Fine.” Sam was done lying—it hadn’t done any good.
“And if you ever touch her again, you’re gone, understand?”
Sam didn’t look happy, but he couldn’t argue.
“I understand.”
You slept in Dean’s bed that night—you hadn’t shared a bed with your father since he came back soulless—and Sam went out to do whatever it was that he did while you guys slept. Apparently being soulless meant you didn’t sleep.
“Are you ok?” Dean asked. “And don’t lie to me.”
“It doesn’t hurt so bad anymore,” you mumbled. “I just…I just miss him.”
Dens pulled you into his arms as you started to cry.
“I know, sweetheart. I miss him too. We’re gonna get him back, ok? I promise.”
“Ok Uncle Dean.”
Taglist:
@nyotamalfoy @mrvlxgrl @chocorade @aestheticdaisies @inlovewhithafairytale @that-wannabe-vangoghgurl
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rosemariiaa · 9 days ago
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𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 01, 𝙅𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙪𝙨𝙚𝙧.
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“I wish I was a normal girl, oh, my How do I be,
how do I be your baby?”
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rosie speaks: ahh first chapter! i’m really excited to see how this series goes..(i hope you guys are too). i do wanna say I will not be dropping chapters back to back just because ik each chapter will be long enough and also i have other things to do. but you never know what i have up my sleeve sooo just wait! i actually did cry a lot writing this so yw. happy reading lovelies 💌
pairing: Paige x Azzi
themes: hurt/comfort, mentions of depression, some fluff
enjoy!!!
May, 2014. Virginia MN
Azzis days felt like she was wading through an invisible fog, where each step felt heavier than the last. She moved through school in a daze, surrounded by classmates and noise but feeling distanced from it all, as if she were behind a glass wall. Teachers spoke, friends laughed, yet nothing seemed to reach her, and nothing seemed worth responding to.
She leaned against her bedroom wall, her gaze fixed on the ceiling, the thoughts came like waves, too heavy to escape but too constant to ignore. At home, the silence only deepened. Her puppy was her only real source of comfort, a small warmth that reminded her she wasn’t completely alone.
Yet, even with him there, the sadness was like a relentless wave, threatening to pull her under. As she lay in bed, Azzi’s mind circled around her own thoughts, dark and tangled, the weight pressing down on her chest. Sometimes, she felt the urge to cry, but the tears would stall. Other times, they would pour out uncontrollably, as if her body knew it needed to release the heaviness she carried.
Azzi remembered words that lingered in her mind like a mantra:
“Cry. Cry for an hour, cry for a day, cry for a week. Cry until you can’t cry anymore, until the tears stop coming, until you feel better, until you heal.
Crying is your body’s way of releasing sadness; let it out and then let it go.”
But the letting go part felt impossible.
She knew she was lucky—talented, even—but that didn’t stop the weight pressing down on her, making everything she did feel more like a chore than a choice.
Sometimes it felt like she was just going through the motions: school, basketball practice, homework, repeat. But there was a deeper loneliness, one that made her question what any of it even meant. Every now and then, she’d think, Would anyone even notice if I disappeared for a day? A week? That quiet thought haunted her, lingering in the back of her mind as she navigated her days, waiting for someone to prove it wrong. But no one ever did.
Grabbing her laptop, she opened up her anonymous Blogspot account. Writing had become her escape, a safe place to let her thoughts spill out without anyone knowing they were hers. She’d been posting as @unicornpuppy35 for a while now, hoping someone out there might understand her, even if they never knew her name. A new notification popped up.
Azzi blinked at the screen, surprised to see a comment on her latest post. It was from someone called @boogers_p.
“hey, I saw your post about feeling stuck. I get that. I feel like that a lot, too.”
For a moment, she almost ignored it. Just another user on the internet, right? But something about the way they’d phrased it struck a chord. She found herself typing back before she even knew what she wanted to say.
unicornpuppy35: Oh yeah? What’s got you feeling stuck?
The reply came quickly.
boogers_p: lol, how much time u got? but mostly… everything’s just movin’, and i’m still here. it’s like ur doing all this stuff, but half the time u can’t even tell if u actually care abt it.
Azzi frowned, feeling that weird sense of familiarity in the words.
unicornpuppy35: Exactly, like a constant loop. But what’s the point, right?
boogers_p: fr! it’s like… i’m goin’ thru the motions but who even knows why.
A smile tugged at her lips. Whoever this was, they got it. They actually understood what she was feeling. And it was strange, but it made her feel just a little less alone.
unicornpuppy35: So, what’s your thing? Like, if you had to pick.
boogers_p: lol basketball. but sometimes i’m like… is this all there is?
Azzi blinked. Out of all the things they could have in common, it was basketball. Funny, or maybe just ironic.
unicornpuppy35: Wait, seriously? Are we living the same life or what?
boogers_p: guess that means we’re stuck in the same boat, huh?
Azzi let herself relax into the conversation, forgetting for a moment that she was talking to a stranger. She leaned back, fingers tapping against the keyboard.
unicornpuppy35: So, if we’re both stuck… what’s the plan? How do we get out?
boogers_p: girl, if i knew, we’d be out already, trust. maybe we keep chattin n figure it out.
Azzi laughed softly, a weight lifting from her shoulders that she hadn’t even realized was there.
unicornpuppy35: Deal. Looks like I just made a new friend.
There was a pause, then @boogers_p’s next message popped up.
boogers_p: btw, ‘unicornpuppy35’? gotta ask: what’s the story there?
Azzi rolled her eyes, smirking as she typed back.
unicornpuppy35: What? You don’t like it?
boogers_p: nah it’s cool, just funny. u like unicorns that much?
unicornpuppy35: Who doesn’t like unicorns? And I have a puppy, so it made sense at the time.
boogers_p: lol alright then, unicorn girl.
unicornpuppy35: “Boogers” is somehow less embarrassing to you?
The reply was fast.
boogers_p: hey! don’t come for my name. so do u even keep up w ball like that?
Azzi laughed, a real laugh, and typed, I mean, I love the game, especially the wcbb, but I barely keep up with men’s college basketball.
boogers_p: WHAT i can’t believe that …u at least know who Kyrie is right??
Azzi smiled, rolling her eyes as she typed, I know who he is, I just don’t watch him like that. I’m more into Breanna Stewart.
boogers_p: ohh okay stewie’s dope. but trust, kyrie’s handles r insane. hold up lemme get u the link.
Azzi barely clicked on the link before skimming, smiling at Paige’s excitement.
As Azzi sat back, scrolling through this user’s texts, a small part of her was overwhelmed by everything, like a weight on her chest she couldn’t quite shake off. It felt strange how this stranger’s blunt and funny messages could draw her out of her own head—even if just for a bit. She was used to feeling invisible, yes, her struggles buried under her quiet exterior, but this strangers presence, even from behind a screen, felt real.
A few seconds ticked by as she sank into her thoughts, that weight of loneliness and uncertainty creeping in again. She knew people saw her as the “soft one,” but beneath that, her emotions felt raw, and she wondered if anyone truly understood.
Suddenly, her phone screen lit up with rapid notifications.
boogers_p: hellooooooo? did u leave?
boogers_p: r u asleep already or smth??
Azzi’s lips turned up in a small smile. She quickly replied.
unicornpuppy35: “Geez, relax. I’m still here.”
boogers_p: “finally! thought I lost ya for a sec. kinda rude to just ghost me like that, you know?”
Azzi smirked, typing back slowly.
unicornpuppy35: “Yeah, yeah. Guess I was just thinking.”
boogers_p: “Ooooh, deep thoughts? Or like… deep-deep thoughts?”
Azzi hesitated, fingers hovering over the keyboard, but she quickly brushed it off.
unicornpuppy35: “nope, just regular deep, I guess.”
boogers_p: “good, I thought you might’ve been drafting your escape from my endless questions.”
unicornpuppy35: “ y’know you’re kind of funny , i’ll give you that. lol”
boogers_p: “ik ik. btw, where do you go to school? And don’t tell me it’s some fancy private place or whatever.”
unicornpuppy35: “Haha, what are you, a stalker? why do you wanna know?”
boogers_p: “what? nah, just curious! alright, lemme guess… you seem like a midwest kid. Iowa?”
unicornpuppy35: “nope, not even close. Try again, Sherlock.”
boogers_p: “alright, alright… new jersey?”
Azzi laughed, shaking her head at her screen.
unicornpuppy35: “nope. You’re pretty bad at this, you know.”
boogers_p: “whatever, I’m warming up! Um… cali? bet you’re like, all into the beach.”
unicornpuppy35: “keep guessing P! maybe you’ll get it right before I graduate.”
boogers_p: “damn, you’re killin’ me here. fine, one more—Texas?”
unicornpuppy35: “Guess you’re gonna have to stay curious, stalker.”
“P” sent a string of laughing emojis, clearly frustrated but amused.
boogers_p: “oh, okay, I see how it is. mysterious and all that. fine, keep your secrets.”
Azzi smiled, finding herself genuinely entertained by Paige’s playful determination to figure her out. It was nice, having someone care enough to ask.
Azzi shook her head, laughing at the sight of P typing “helloooooo?” over and over.
unicornpuppy35: Still here! Just still laughing at your terrible guesses.
boogers_p: ohhh shut up 😆 one day you’ll tell me!
As they continued chatting, Azzi couldn’t help but feel a little lighter, like maybe she wasn’t quite so alone after all.
————-
I glanced at the clock in the corner of my screen. Midnight. Crap. How had it gotten so late?
unicornpuppy35: alright, P, it’s late. I should get some sleep—school tomorrow and all 😊
I typed, hesitating for a moment before hitting send. I didn’t want the conversation to end, not when it felt so… easy.
The reply came almost instantly.
boogers_p: lame but yeah, same here. don’t oversleep, though, or I’ll roast you about it next time
I smiled softly, my fingers moving across the keyboard.
unicornpuppy35: gnn P
boogers_p: night unicorn, catch you later.
I closed my laptop, leaning back against my pillow with a soft sigh. My room was quiet except for the gentle snuffling of my puppy curled up at the end of the bed. I hated how much I didn’t want to stop talking to her—or whoever she was—but I could already hear my mom’s voice in my head if I overslept tomorrow.
Still, the flicker of warmth in my chest wouldn’t go away. For the first time in a while, I didn’t feel so alone.
————-
The warm weight of my puppy’s paws jolted me awake, followed by his enthusiastic tongue licking my cheek. I groaned, shoving him away gently before squinting at my phone.
“Crap.” 7:40. At least practice was after school today, but I still had school before then.
“Azzi!” Mom’s voice carried from the kitchen, sharp and frustrated. “Do you even know what time it is? You’re going to be late—again!”
“I know, Mom!” I called back, stumbling out of bed and tossing clothes around my room.
When I finally trudged downstairs, backpack slung over one shoulder, she was waiting, arms crossed. “Do you? Because this is becoming a habit. You need to start taking this seriously, Azzi. Coaches notice stuff like this.”
I rolled my eyes, grabbing a grabbing a piece of nutella toast from the plate on the counter. “It’s not like I’m failing or anything.”
“That’s not the point!” Her voice rose a notch, and I flinched. “You’re juggling basketball, school, and everything else. If you can’t manage your mornings, how are you supposed to handle the rest?”
“I’ve got it under control.” The words came out sharper than I intended, and guilt immediately twisted in my stomach.
She softened slightly but shook her head. “You have so much potential, Azzi. I just don’t want you to waste it. That’s all.”
I sighed, hugging the puppy briefly before heading out the door. “I won’t.”
Her voice followed me, softer now. “Make sure you don’t.”
As I stepped outside, the crisp morning air hit me, making me shiver slightly. My puppy barked once from the window, his tail wagging furiously. I couldn’t help but smile, even as Mom’s words echoed in my head.
She wasn’t wrong, but sometimes it felt like the pressure of living up to everyone’s expectations, especially hers was just all so suffocating. I jogged toward the bus stop, earbuds in, my mind already racing through the day ahead: school, practice, and maybe—if I had time—another chat with P.
The bus ride wasn’t much better than waking up. Just the usual hum of the engine and kids mumbling into their phones. I leaned my head against the window, the cold glass biting at my cheek, and zoned out. School wasn’t exactly a place I looked forward to.
By the time I walked into first period, I was already tuning out the chatter around me. The teacher called for us to break into groups, and I found myself sitting with three classmates who barely glanced my way.
“We should start with the data chart,” I said, glancing at the worksheet.
“Yeah, yeah,” one of them mumbled, already scribbling something down.
Another classmate leaned over to add something, completely ignoring what I’d just said. My lips pressed into a thin line. This wasn’t new. It was like my words existed in a bubble, bouncing off everyone and disappearing into thin air. I tried again.
“If we divide the work, we’ll finish faster—”
“Wait, no, let’s do this first,” someone interrupted, their voice cutting over mine.
I stopped mid-sentence, letting my pen drop to the table. They didn’t even notice. Just kept talking like I wasn’t there.
I didn’t bother saying anything else for the rest of the class. It wasn’t worth it.
By lunch, I was drained. I slid into a chair at the edge of the cafeteria, next to a group of friends who were already knee-deep in some conversation.
“Azzi, did you see that ridiculous shot Ty took in practice yesterday?” one of them asked, barely waiting for my answer before launching into their own commentary.
I nodded, offering a small laugh. It wasn’t worth jumping in. Every time I tried to add something to a conversation, it either got talked over or shifted in another direction.
But it didn’t stop me from noticing.
As I picked at my food, my thoughts drifted back to last night’s chat with P. They actually listened. Responded. It felt… different. Maybe that’s why it was still on my mind.
————-
By the time I got to practice, my head was already in a fog. It felt like no matter where I went, no one really saw me. At school, at home—was it too much to ask for someone to actually listen?
“Azzi, let’s go! You’re up!” Coach’s voice snapped me back. I jogged to the front of the line, grabbing a ball. Simple drill. Layups. Easy.
Except I missed.
“Come on, Azzi!” one of the captains called, exasperation clear in her voice. My jaw tightened.
I grabbed the rebound and tried again, but my footwork was off. The ball clanged off the rim.
“Focus, Azzi!” Coach barked.
I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat, and got back in line. When my turn came again, I nailed the layup, but the damage was already done.
As we transitioned to scrimmage, it only got worse. I called for the ball—wide open on the wing—but my teammate didn’t even look my way. I sprinted to the other side of the court, yelling louder this time. Nothing.
“Azzi, move the ball!” someone shouted when I finally had possession, cutting me off before I could even make a decision.
It was like being invisible. Nothing new though.
By the time practice ended, my legs ached, and my chest felt even heavier than when I’d started. I stayed behind to shoot free throws, trying to shake off the weight.
One ball after another swished through the net, but the sinking feeling didn’t budge.
By the time I finally walked out of the gym, the sun had dipped low, painting the sky in soft pinks and oranges. My legs felt like lead, and I slung my bag over one shoulder, the strap digging in just enough to annoy me. God.
I spotted our car parked at the far end of the lot, Mom’s silhouette visible through the windshield. She was scrolling on her phone, waiting. I sighed, tugging my hoodie tighter as I trudged toward her.
As I got closer, I caught sight of my brothers in the backseat. Jose was watching something on his tablet, headphones on, and Jon was playing with a Rubik’s cube. Lucky them—they didn’t have to deal with “the talk” I was sure was coming.
The second I opened the door and tossed my bag onto the floor, Mom started in.
“So, your coach called me today,” she said, her tone sharp but controlled.
I froze, mid-seatbelt click. Great.
She said you’ve been distracted. Not focused. Is something going on?”
I stared out the window, watching the streetlights blur past. “I’m fine,” I mumbled.
“Azzi, ‘fine’ isn’t good enough. You’re not putting in the work, and it’s starting to show. You need to get your head in the game. You think colleges are going to be interested in someone who’s half-assing it?”
Her words stung, but I bit my tongue, glancing at Jose and Jon in the backseat. Jon was tapping away on his tablet, and Jose had his headphones in. Good. I didn’t want them listening to this.
“I’m not half-a wording it,” I said quietly.
“Oh, really? Because that’s not what I heard today. Your coach says otherwise.”
I clenched my jaw, willing myself not to argue. I couldn’t let this turn into something bigger, not with my brothers right here.
“Mom, I said I’m fine,” I repeated, more firmly this time.
She sighed, shaking her head. “Azzi, you can’t afford to slack off. You’ve worked too hard for this. Don’t throw it all away now.”
I stared straight ahead, tuning her out as best I could. My chest felt tight, but I refused to let it show. I nodded along, letting her words wash over me without sticking.
When we finally pulled into the driveway, I bolted from the car, mumbling something about needing to shower. The second my bedroom door shut, I collapsed onto my bed, burying my face in the pillow.
For a few minutes, I just lay there, letting the weight of the day press down on me. Then I grabbed my laptop and opened the chat.
unicornpuppy35: “hey, you around?”
The reply came quicker than I expected.
boogers_p: “yup what’s up?”
I hesitated, fingers hovering over the keyboard. How much could I even say without sounding like I was whining?
unicornpuppy35: “rough day.”
boogers_p: “wanna talk about it?”
I stared at the screen. Did I?
unicornpuppy35: “not really. just needed a distraction.”
boogers_p: “fair. ok, here’s a distraction: what’s your dream ice cream flavor? like if you could invent anything.”
I blinked at the random question, a laugh escaping before I could stop it.
unicornpuppy35: “that’s… so random.”
boogers_p: “that’s the point. distraction, remember?”
boogers_p: “but… you do know you don’t have to push it down, y’know? sometimes it helps to just let it out. Especially with me.”
My chest tightened again. It wasn’t like I didn’t want to talk—I just wasn’t sure how.
unicornpuppy35: “oh um okay, it’s just been a lot. school sucks, practice was worse, and my mom’s acting like I’m throwing my whole future away. But what’s the point in saying anything? It’s not like it changes.”
I stared at the screen, half-wishing I could take it back. But, I typed again.
unicornpuppy35: “it’s like… everybody talks to me like I’m supposed to change. like they’ve already decided what’s wrong with me and what I need to do to fix it. but how am I supposed to change when I don’t even know who I am yet? it’s like no one cares about that part.”
The typing bubble appeared almost immediately.
boogers_p: “damn, unicorn. that’s real. people are so quick to act like they know what’s best for you, but they don’t live your life. you don’t owe them anything.”
I felt a lump rise in my throat as I stared at P’s message.
unicornpuppy35: “exactly. like… they’ve already made up their minds, and nothing I say matters. but I don’t even know who I’m supposed to be yet. And then when I try to figure it out, they’re just like, ‘No, not like that.’ it’s so exhausting.”
boogers_p: “i get it. they want you to follow their script, but maybe their script sucks. you’re allowed to write your own, even if it takes time.”
My fingers hesitated over the keyboard. I feel the tears running down my cheeks and falling onto the keypad.
unicornpuppy35: “sometimes I feel like I’m never gonna figure it out. like I’ll just keep messing up until everyone gives up on me.”
P didn’t reply right away, and for a moment, I worried I’d said too much. I’m trying my best to wipe the tears that are falling, but they just won’t stop coming.
But then their message popped up
boogers_p: “ listen to me. you’re allowed to take up space, to mess up, to figure things out in your own time. screw what everyone else thinks. you’re not a project they get to fix.”
A shaky breath left my chest, and I swiped at my eyes before more of my tears could fall onto the laptop.
unicornpuppy35: “thanks, P. I mean it. you’re the only one who really listens.”
boogers_p: “anytime you’re stuck with me now, remember?”
I didn’t mind that one bit and for the first time all day, I let myself breathe.
————-
March 21, Minneapolis, Minnesota
I stared at the screen, the cursor blinking against the blank message box. Her words replayed in my mind like a song I couldn’t shake off.
“Nobody listens. Nobody sees me.”
I didn’t know what to say back, not really. Azzi didn’t just sound tired—she sounded done. And it scared me more than I wanted to admit.
My fingers hovered over the keyboard.
“Azzi…”
I typed..wanting to send but no.
I couldn’t. Not yet.
————-
taglist ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
@thaatdigitaldiary @patscorner @ohbueckers @sierrale8ne @mrsarnold @absolutelydreadful @authentic-girl03 @lupinqs @d3arapril @pboogerswbb @imaginespazzi
₊˚ෆ always lmk if u wanna be added to my taglist muah ₊˚ෆ
269 notes · View notes
jaylaxies · 1 year ago
Text
RULE NUMBER 1: DON’T FALL IN LOVE
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PAIRING: jeno × fem!reader
GENRE/CW: smut, fake dating, fluff, slight angst, unprotected sex, drunk sex, blowjob, cunnilingus, penetration, usage of nicknames, themes of jealousy, mentions of jaemin and other dreamies, mentions of karina and yunjin, lmk if i missed anything!
WORD COUNT: 16.2k words
SYNOPSIS: your ex getting a girlfriend after just two weeks of breakup was enough to infuriate you to the point where you had to step up and make him regret breaking your heart. solution? fake date his best friend and make him jealous!
WARNING: 18+ content, minors dni
A/N: hihi, my loves <3 i couldn’t get lee jeno out of my head and here we are now :3 i hope you guys enjoy it! i wanna thank my loves @ddeonuism and @celeste-hoon for helping me with the ideas and dialogues <3 all likes, comments, reblogs are highly appreciated! it keeps me motivated! iloveyou all and happy reading <33
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Drink and forget. 
That was your plan for the night, and what’s a better way to achieve it than attending a party with your friends? 
“Woah! Girl, slow down,” Yunjin scolded you, taking the shot glass out of your hand, “it’s been half an hour, Y/n. If you take another shot then you’re going back to the dorm.”
You groaned, “you know why I’m doing this Yun. I should’ve listened to you and Rina.”
Hyuck whined, “what’s the point anymore? You didn’t listen to them and still fell for him instead of me which resulted in him breaking your heart.” 
That earned him a smack on his head by Ningning, who now turned to you with a smile to lighten up your mood, “it’s been two weeks already, babe! Let’s forget about him and dance—” she said, her last word trailed off as she stared at the party entrance, the same time the music got loud. 
“I can’t believe he left so easily,” you whispered to yourself, gulping down your sentiments before paying attention to where your friends were staring, turning around to look at the entrance gate. 
There he was, the reason why you had been cooped up in your room, crying your heart out. The reason why you were drinking to numb your feelings, yet it all went downhill the second your eyes fell on him. 
Na Jaemin. 
His walk was confident, his sculpted face looked more charming than ever as he sported his ever so gradient smile looking indifferent to what had happened between you both. 
Topping it all, he had a girl clinging on to his arm, giggling as she pulled his arm to be pressed between her tits. She was clad in a mini dress which barely hid her ass and your friends glanced back at you with a nervous expression on their faces. 
Your face, however, remained stoic as you exhibited no sign of emotions despite feeling the anger burning up inside you, your fist clenching as you saw them walk towards your group. 
You couldn’t believe how Jaemin was the same guy who used to give you shy smiles whenever your groups used to sit together as he was a close friend of Mark and Hyuck. 
Your friends had warned you, they did, but you were so blinded by his innocent face and pure smile which held secret promises of sincerity and a hope of something more. You took your time to notice that he cared for you, even waiting outside your classes with a bouquet at times. 
He had you swooning, ignoring the warnings and signs you should have seen coming. His sweet talk lured you right into his trap, and you found yourself saying yes to him in a heartbeat, marking the onset of your honeymoon phase. It was dreamy, to the point even your friends were convinced he had changed his ways and finally decided to settle down. 
Yet, deep inside you could feel your gut telling you that it won’t last, and he proved it just right when he forgot your one month anniversary, when he forgot the flavour of your favourite ice cream, when he didn’t bother calling you or taking you out on dates. 
When he admitted that he was bored and wanted out. 
It lasted for two months before he decided to break up, leaving you standing by yourself in your dorm, tears cascading down your face before your roommates heard a broken cry leave your mouth. Yunjin and Karina never left your side after that. 
Others tried to talk some sense into Jaemin but it was as useful as a chocolate teapot. 
The hope of him regretting his decision went downhill when you saw him with this new girl, barely two weeks after your break up, the corner of his lips turned up into his usual smirk as he stood in front of you all, getting no smile or greetings yet he didn’t mind. 
It was a rare sight to see his best friend frowning, nonetheless a frown of disappointment settled on Jeno’s lips. 
Despite the loud music and the array of sweaty bodies dancing all over the room, you could feel the deafening silence in the circle of your group until a small whine came out of Jaemin’s new girl toy, who pouted and whispered something in his ear, giving you the opportunity to look at Yunjin, who looked equally disgusted at the exchange. 
The girl must have asked him to introduce her because he nodded with his usual smile, turning around to face everyone as he spoke up, “hey guys! Meet my new girlfriend.” He motioned at her to speak up. 
Her fake giggle made you want to throw up, and you noticed how you weren’t the only one who felt this way as Hyuck excused himself from the conversation, rolling his eyes, which made you smile. 
That didn’t stop her, “hi guys!” She exclaimed, dragging out the hi, “I’m Linda.”
A series of snorts and coughed up laughs emerged as she proceeded to introduce herself, which included you who tried your best not to laugh at her oblivious state, completely disregarding the fact that she was not welcomed here. 
No matter how heartbroken you were, feeling like a fool as Jaemin’s eyes took your outfit in wasn’t something you’d allow to happen. You didn’t bother excusing yourself as you left the circle, Yunjin following you in a beat as you just missed the whine Linda let out at your disrespectful actions. 
“The fucking audacity?” Yunjin was furious, your inner turmoil matching her expression, “I can’t believe he’s got the nerve to bring that bimbo here.”
You wasted no time in gulping down your fourth shot, no one bothered to stop you this time, knowing well you needed it as you tried to keep your tears at bay, it was too late to say you regretted saying yes to the player. 
Your body felt hot as your mind clouded into a hazier state, the confidence overpowered your painful state, your legs taking you to your friends who knew you were drunk beyond your capacity as you danced with them, rolling your body and letting yourself free. 
Yet the one thing that never left your mind was revenge. 
You wanted revenge. 
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The booming voice of your alarm clock was successful in contributing to your raging headache as you opened your eyes with a deep groan, feeling disoriented and your hangover building up. 
“Fuck—” you muttered, shutting up your alarm. 
You were surprised to notice the medicines and a bottle of water that was kept on your nightstand, and you didn’t waste a second before gulping it down to help your headache as well as your parched throat. 
Being grateful that it was a Sunday, you slumped back down, trying to recall the night but the only memory that stayed in your head was the one of Linda squishing Jaemin’s arm on her boobs. Your jaw clenched at how easily he moved on. 
Just then, Karina entered the room with a small smile. She was the only one who looked normal as she wasn’t at the party yesterday. 
“Oh! I was just coming to wake you up. We’re all going out for brunch since no one is in their right mind to cook,” she informed you with an amused look, noticing how you were still wearing your dress from last night.  
A shower was exactly what you needed at the given point as you tried your best to get ready in fifteen minutes, your mind filled with ideas to take revenge, no matter how childish it sounded. But how? Well, searching the net didn’t help much. You weren’t going to post a bad picture of him in the name of revenge.  
It also wouldn’t work because it was impossible for him to have a bad picture. 
You sighed, linking your arms with Yunjin and Karina as you got out of the car which the latter drove as you walked inside your usual diner to see everyone sitting together after aligning the tables. 
Hyuck pulled you to sit with him, he barely had his eyes open as Mark went on telling everyone how Hyuck got pissed drunk last night and made out with his knee while crying. 
The scene was easy to imagine which made you all burst into laughter at the poor boy who could only whine, “your knee tastes like mustard!” 
The laughter died down when you felt a repeat of yesterday happening yet again. It was a friends only brunch, but apparently, Jaemin’s Linda didn’t get the memo. 
You could see his best friend trailing behind him yet again and you wondered how Jeno handled Jaemin despite his actions which now made everyone uncomfortable to some extent. 
“Should I punch that asshole?” Hyuck asked, whispering in your ear and you sighed for the tenth time today, shaking your head as you completely ignored the two people and focused on eating and chatting with the ones who made you feel better, however, you could feel Jaemin’s eyes staring at you. 
You just wanted to go back, already tired of the couple who couldn’t keep their public display of affection at bay. Now you were sure it wasn’t just the hangover that made you wanna puke. 
“I think I just lost my appetite,” you commented, causing the guy in front of you to snigger. 
You looked up for the first time to see Jeno sitting opposite to you, sending you a smile once he saw you looking his way, which you returned easily. 
He usually kept to himself and he wasn’t the talkative one in the group. You had only talked to him while greeting him whenever your groups met, and once when Jaemin got drunk beyond control at a party and so you had to call Jeno to pick him up. Your interactions were limited to him because of one person. 
Your smile dropped the second you heard that annoying giggle again, Jeno only looked your way with a small frown after as you averted your gaze back to your lap, gulping down your anger. 
The sound of a message notification from your phone grabbed your attention, and you opened it to find your group chat being active. 
Uni haters 🤬👊🏼 (minus Jaemin)
mOrk: uhh yo guys this is awkward 😬
hyuckie: can’t believe i lost my title of annoying king to jaemin’s gf??? 🤬
ningx2: she’s not even a guy
yunjinnie: but she’s annoying
ningx2: can’t argue w that 🤪
rinaa: let’s just eat and leave as soon as we can, the air is suffocating me 🤕
you: too late i can’t eat anymore 🤡
injun: im leaving i can’t w this bullshit, she didn’t even wear her wig properly 
mOrk: holy shit? she’s got a wig on?!?! 😨
You laughed as you noticed Renjun calling the waiter for the bill, which you all split as soon as you can and made your way out of the suffocating place, leaving the two in there as Jeno too decided to leave early. 
The drive back home was barely five minutes long, which soothed your nerves as you sang along to old songs Yunjin played on the speakers. 
They could notice how you looked exhausted, but it was more than that, they knew you had something in your mind and it was related to none other than your ex. 
“Okay, what’s going on?” Yunjin asked once you entered your shared dorm room. 
“What do you mean? I’m perfectly fine!” You tried laughing but it came out fake, causing Karina to raise her brows. 
“Spill. Right now,” she ordered, making you sit in between them as you clicked your tongue in annoyance, which wasn’t directed to them. 
“Fine. I want revenge,” you confessed, “he looks so happy and unbothered as if nothing happened? How can he say hi to me as if it’s the most casual thing in this world after he broke up with me saying he got bored? Ugh I hate his guts!” You ranted. 
“So, do you have any plans for that?” Yunjin asked. 
“Not really,” you muttered, “safari really recommended me to flirt with other guys in front of him,” you laughed, picking at the pillow cover of your couch. 
Yunjin refrained herself from snorting, “would he be jealous of a random guy though?” 
Karina laughed along, “yeah it’s not like you can date his best friend to make him jealous?” 
Your eyes widened, your head turning slowly as your lips curled into a devilish grin, immediately causing your friends to exchange nervous glances and speak up. 
“Don’t fucking tell me you’re considering this,” Karina blinked, incredulous. 
“Listen—” you started, only to be cut off midway. 
“No way,” a breathy laugh left Yunjin as she tried to contain her words and make you understand without any cussing. 
“It’s not a bad idea, okay?” You tried to convince her. 
“So what? Are you gonna seduce Jeno?” She asked. 
You laughed which sounded more like a pfft, “of course not, silly! We’ll fake date each other!” You said, face shining as if you had presented the greatest idea known to mankind. 
“Be so for real right now,” Karina deadpanned. 
“Lord, Y/n think straight. This is real life, you’re not in a cheesy rom-com movie or a book,” Yunjin provided her input. 
“I know! But I just have to make him jealous for what? A month before he gets bored of that Linda girlie, and maybe Jeno would agree to it too!” You nodded at the possibilities. 
“I can’t believe this is happening.” Yunjin rubbed her eyes, “me either,” Karina said as they both looked at you with an expression you couldn’t decipher. 
Your smile only got wider, “this is the best way to make it work!” You announced before looking at Karina sheepishly, “please send me Jeno’s number Rina,” you said in a sweet voice, knowing she was the social butterfly of the university before you waved a goodbye at them, walking into your room, formulating a plan alongside. 
“This is gonna be a disaster, right?” Karina asked Yunjin, sighing. 
“Oh definitely, it’ll be a show.”
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You walked in your room, contemplating if it would be alright to discuss this on text or if you should meet up with him, the latter option was more plausible yet scary because what if Jeno laughed at you? What if he didn’t agree to work with you for the sake of his friendship. 
With such a stupefied idea, the possibilities were endless. Besides, you weren’t gonna ask for a lot, just a little hand holding, maybe hugging but nothing beyond that. You have to play pretend and smile a lot around each other. That would sell your drama and that would make Jaemin jealous and realize that he lost a gem. 
You waited and thought about it for a few days before finally giving in. 
You took a deep breath, giving yourself a last nod of encouragement before you picked up your phone, saving the number Karina had forwarded you and clicking on his profile before sending a text. 
To: Jeno🐾
You: heyy jeno! 🥰 it’s Y/n, can we meet up? 
You wondered if that emoji was too much, but you did not get enough time to ponder upon it as Jeno texted you back in a minute. 
Jeno🐾:  Hey, Y/n :) sure, is everything okay?
You: yess! i just need to talk to you about something :3
Jeno🐾: How about Starbucks at 5? 
You: perfect, i’ll be there ^^
Jeno🐾: See you <3
Your mouth widened at the heart at the end of the text, before you brushed it off, thinking that he sent it by mistake. You kept your phone on the nightstand, standing in front of your closet to select an outfit for your meeting. 
The plan was made, you just had to discuss it with Jeno but you had never talked to him before, maybe that is why your heartbeat rose up. He was a good looking guy, there’s no denying that and you’ve heard that he was one of the smart ones too. 
You bit your lip as you straightened out your top, rethinking your life decisions. There was no backing out now. You looked in the mirror again, satisfied with your outfit and makeup. You knew you looked stunning as you grabbed your phone and bag before driving Karina’s car to your desired destination. 
The place was almost empty except for a few people who sat and worked on their laptops. It was easy to spot Jeno, his dark hair shone under the dim lights of the cafe, he pushed his specs up for it to rest on his perfectly pointy nose, his lips parted ever so slightly as he focused on reading a book which you had never heard the name of. 
His aura looked calming, which boosted your confidence as you made your way towards the table he was sitting at. It was near the window, at the end of the cafe, which gave you enough privacy. Somehow the seating choice felt very Jeno to you. 
Clearing your throat, you mustered up your courage, smiling slightly. “Hey, Jeno!” You spoke, looking him in the eye. 
That was enough to capture his attention, he looked up at you with a smile that reached his eyes. 
He looked adorable. 
“Y/n! Hey, come sit please,” he said, gesturing at the seat on the opposite side of him. 
His eyes were soft as they looked at you sitting down, noticing a strand of hair which you tucked behind your ear, finally looking up at him, trying to find the right words to start the conversation. 
“Isn’t it weird how we’ve never talked before?” You chuckled, causing him to nod with a small laugh. 
“That’s true. How can I help you today?” He asked, keeping the book aside, carefully placing a bookmark before doing so. 
You kept your confident smile on, “I needed your help with this hypothesis I have,” you nodded as you explained it to him, and he was sure that the meet up was for academic purposes now, “so I need to take a little survey. Can you answer some questions for me?” You asked.
He nodded as you took out a notepad and pen from the bag you were carrying. 
“Sure, I’d be glad to help,” he smiled, eyes turning into soft crescents, which you stopped to stare for a second too long before realizing that he was waiting for your questions. 
You snapped out of your daze as you started scribbling on your notepad, “your full name?” 
“Don’t you know it?” He asked, confused. 
“Shh just answer, it’s the official protocol.” You huffed. 
“Lee Jeno.”
“Gender?” 
“Seriously—” 
“Just say it!” 
“Okay, fine. Male.”
“What’s your age?”
“I’m 23.”
“Introvert, extrovert or ambivert?”
“Introverted.”
“Marital status?”
“What?”
“Single? Okay. So on a scale of one to ten, how willing are you to help me get back at your best friend by being my fake boyfriend?” You asked, your smile never faltering. 
Jeno blinked once, then twice. “You lost me on that one,” he spoke up. 
His eyes displayed a mixture of shock and amusement, and maybe it was your figment of imagination that you saw him snigger but you weren’t the one to give up. 
Your lips jutted out in a pout, eyes shiny as you looked up at him, “c’mon! You won't let a girl beg for a little help, right? Especially when she was hurt so very deeply by the said ex, right?” 
Jeno looked at you, your pout only deepening in the hopes of him accepting your idea. He only leaned on his arm, coming closer with an enthralled smile. 
“So what you’re suggesting here is that I fake date you to get back at my best friend for hurting you?” He confirmed and you nodded enthusiastically, “how’s it going to work?”
“Easy! Jaemin isn’t the one who gets affected by a lot of things but if I date his best friend, that’s you, then he would get jealous and would regret breaking up with me,” you explained, “then I won’t take him back,” you announced, triumphant. 
Jeno nodded, as if contemplating whether the offer was worth it, “what do I get out of it?” He asks. 
“A fake and pretty girlfriend of course,” you smiled, “and a chance to teach your best friend some manners,” you shrugged as if it was a win-win situation. 
Jeno’s expression didn’t give out what he was thinking and you were patiently looking at him for some sort of answer, hopefully a positive one. 
“Do I have time to think?” He asks. 
“I would give you some but then I’m an anxious being,” you stated which elicited a laugh out of him as he never expected that coming out of you. 
But he had seen it all, the way Jaemin behaved with you. He forgot all important dates, gave priority to his parties and the friend group which was potentially harmful for him, not to mention that his reason for breaking up was worse than the worst excuse, saying he got bored, only to find a girl two weeks later. Jeno truly hated Linda as she accidentally broke his favourite vase while he made out with Jaemin in their shared apartment. 
“Fine. How are we going to go about this?” Jeno sighed, giving in finally as he saw your face practically lighting up with excitement. 
“Wait! Does this mean you’re in?” You asked just to be sure. 
“I don’t think I have any other option,” he teases but you don’t mind, you were simply enjoying the feel of victory already, “so, now what?” He asks, finally realizing what he had gotten himself into. 
Fake dating. 
“Now, we’re going to set some ground rules, which of course, we’ll write down and sign as a contract,” you say, getting a page out of your notepad. 
“Like that one movie by Jenny Han?” He raised his brows. 
You stopped to think for a second, “yeah but it’s not like we’ll fall in love or something,” you shrugged with a laugh and he nodded. 
Y/n and Jeno’s rules of fake dating! <3
Don’t fall in love 
Hand holding is okay
Drive to the uni together 
Nicknames are a must!
Kissing is not allowed!!
Don’t tell anyone except for Yunjin and Karina 
Break up once the goal is reached. 
Goal: make Jaemin regret breaking up!! (Additional: get rid of Linda)
Signatures
You passed the sheet to Jeno, “anything you’d like to change?” You asked as he read it all, and you noticed his brows slightly scrunching as he did so, exactly how they were scrunched when he was reading his book earlier. 
“I’m assuming you told your friends already,” he pointed out rule number six, to which you nodded sheepishly. 
“No kissing?” He asked, “you know no one’s gonna buy it if we don’t kiss, right? But of course, if you’re not comfortable then it’s fine.”
You bit your lower lip, wondering if you should consider it since he was right. Kissing is the easiest way to show affection, “I think you’re right, we’ll do it only when it’s required,” you said, and he nodded. 
You wondered how he was so calm with all of this, and you liked that he was asking questions about it all. 
“What’s with the nicknames?” He read rule number four. 
“Jaemin is big on nicknames, I bet he calls you some too. He used to call me princess,” you sighed, remembering how it used to be. It hurt but the current hatred overtook that feeling. 
“Alright, sweetheart,” he whispered. 
Your eyes widened at his deep tone, but he only smiled, “just practising,” he said and you nodded, gulping down. 
“Okay, so is the list done?” You inquired. 
“Yeah, I just have to add one thing,” he said, scribbling down another rule while you asked him random questions. 
“Have you ever dated before?” 
He shook his head, “you’re my first,” he winked, and you wondered how he was so good at flirting. 
“So—” you were going to ask another question but it seems like he knew what it was. 
“I know I’m silent but it doesn’t mean I’m inexperienced,” he stated, and you were amused as it was the first time he saw him being this way, “besides, this deal of ours would benefit me by driving the girls away.”
“Right,” you snickered, looking at what he had written, “why PDA?” you asked. 
“Because that’s the key to irritate Jaemin, especially with Linda around who sees no other seat but Jaem’s lap,” he explained as your face scrunched at the image. 
“You really are smart,” you muttered, signing the contract before handing it to him, who was quick to sign it too before you extended your hand. 
His big hand encased yours in a handshake and you couldn’t help, but notice how his fingers were slender, veins visible on his hands as his grip was firm on your hand. 
You had sealed the deal. 
Y/n and Jeno’s rules of fake dating! <3
Don’t fall in love 
Hand holding is okay
Drive to the uni together 
Nicknames are a must!
Kissing is not allowed!!
Don’t tell anyone except for Yunjin and Karina 
Break up once the goal is reached. 
PDA whenever the target is around!
Goal: make Jaemin regret breaking up!! (Additional: get rid of Linda)
Y/n       Jeno 
Signatures
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“Listen, I know plans don’t work at times, there’s no reason to be sad over it—wait why are you smiling? There’s no way—” Yunjin asked as soon as you entered your dorm after your meeting with Jeno. 
“He agreed,” you squealed. 
“You’ve got to be kidding me. Jeno? The scholar guy who’s silent for the majority of the time, the guy who’s never had a girlfriend before, he agreed to fake date you?” Karina’s mouth was hung open and you only nodded excitedly. 
They both looked at each other before nodding, “now, you need a day out. We’re talking waxing, getting your hair done, and preferably your nails too since you’ve had that colour for too long and new clothes—” they made a list as they successfully dragged you out for all of it the next day, saying it’s a little something they’d want to contribute to your fake dating strategy. 
You didn’t mind a bit of it, being pampered was something you loved and it was long due as you had devoted all your time to crying after your breakup. 
It was when Monday rolled by when it finally settled in. You were going to pretend to date Lee Jeno, in front of everyone. Your friends gave you last minute pep talks and you were more than glad that they had decided to help you dress up too. Just then your phone rang with a notification. 
Jeno🐾: Morning, sunshine <3 Ready to sell our show? 
You: good morning!! i'm more than ready! are you tho? 👀
Jeno🐾: I’m already waiting for you outside, love ;)
You almost choked on the water you were drinking as you remembered the rules. You had to go to the university with him, “bye guys! He’s here,” you said to your roommates, getting up and grabbing your bag as you made your way out in a hurry. 
Jeno was standing by his car as he lived in the apartments and not the dorms, which was ten minutes away from your university campus. As for your dorms, they were a solid five minutes walk from your room. 
He looked up from your phone as he heard you walking closer to him, “hey,” he smiled. 
“So punctual, you’re right on time,” you said, “seems like you’re excited.”
He chuckled, opening the passenger seat door for you, “I can’t say I’m not excited to see other’s reactions,” he admitted as you sat down inside, thanking him softly. 
Jaemin had never once opened the door for you. 
He got in the car, focusing on the road, “what’s the goal for today, princess?” He asked in his deep tone. 
You blamed your overly sensitive skin for the tingling you felt due to his voice, also sitting to notice how his face looked like a sculpture.  
“Soft launching our relationship,” you answered, clicking his picture. 
“In the cafeteria, during lunch then?” 
“Exactly! You just have to sit next to me and smile, that’ll be enough for Hyuck to suspect something,” you explained the basic plan just in time as you reached the university parking lot. 
“Why? Do I never smile?” He asked, getting his seatbelt off. 
“You do, but only to our group. Others get a neutral expression only,” you pointed out as if you had analysed him fully. 
“Wait,” he stopped you from opening the car door, getting out and opening it for you with a tiny smile. 
Well that worked since people were nosy enough to notice a girl coming out of Jeno’s car, which is a scene that never occurs. 
He politely offered you his hand as he helped you stand up. His hand was warm juxtaposing your cold ones, as he pulled you towards him, your shoulder pressed against his chest, which you could feel was chiselled, he definitely had pecks. 
“Smile, princess,” he whispered, and you overcame your state of hyper focus on him before putting on your best smile. 
“What are we doing?” You asked, your smile never faltering. 
Jeno was somehow really good at looking at you with fondness in his eyes, he’d be a nice theatre guy if he takes up acting. 
“Dropping my girlfriend to her class, of course,” he said smoothly, and you started walking, hand in hand. 
“You’re pretty good at this. Are you sure it’s your first time?” You teased, noticing others staring at your hands. 
“Why? Do you think I’m a good boyfriend?” He asked back and you were truly amazed to see him retorting to your questions, given that you had barely seen him talk before. 
He felt your hand slipping and quickly intertwined your fingers. The gesture made sure to send a shiver down your spine. 
Jaemin never held your hand while walking. 
“We’re just getting started, we’ll see how it goes,” you suggested, causing him to nod and continue the conversation you had left off. 
“So what you were saying back in the car is that people perceive me as someone who’s mean?” He tilted his head in question. 
“Of course not! They perceive you as someone who’s unapproachable.” You say seriously, you both stopped walking as you had reached the class. 
He blinked at you once. You blinked back. 
And you both burst out into soft laughter before he ruffled your hair slightly, bending down to your level, “study well, princess.” He winked, walking away to attend his own lecture. 
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You tried your best to focus on the lecture as you jotted down the notes alongside, however the feeling of thrill kept your leg bouncing the entire time, your mind working out possible scenarios with everyone’s reactions. 
Soon, the classes were over and it was the time for your lunch break, which also meant that it was the time for you and Jeno to act in front of everyone else. 
“We’ll cheer for you,” Karina said and you could only laugh at her expression. She still couldn’t believe that you were going through with this. 
From the entrance of the big cafeteria, you could easily spot the table where everyone had already assembled. 
“Ready?” A deep voice whispered in your ear, successfully causing you to jump back. 
But Jeno was quick to grab your waist and pull you closer before you could trip, his eyes equally widened as yours, “god! You scared me,” you said, breathing in deeply to calm your heart. 
You could feel his scent infiltrating your senses, it was a perfect blend of woody and citrus, which was also paired with slight musk and mandarin. He smelled really good. 
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to,” he said, letting go so you could stand straight. 
His eyes were full of worry, mouth slightly agape and you smiled to let him know you were okay. “Now, smile and talk,” you said as you both walked into the cafeteria. 
“Do I really never smile?” He asked you, “because people are staring.”
“I told you already! You smile only with our friends and we have never really talked before, at least in front of others,” you laughed. 
The whole group went silent as the two of you approached. Haechan was the first one to raise his eyebrows as you sat down with him, but Jeno didn’t sit next to Jaemin. Instead, he sat down next to you. 
Linda, as usual, was sitting on his lap, but that didn’t stop Jaemin from staring at you and Jeno. 
“Something is fishy,” Hyuck pointed out. 
“What is?” You asked, feigning innocence. 
Jeno was silent when he wrapped his strong arm around your waist, pulling you slightly closer to him. You could feel your stomach tingling, and he simply smiled your way. 
“Firstly, I saw you getting out of Jeno’s car in the morning,” Hyuck noted, “secondly, he was holding your hand and he walked you to the class. Thirdly, he’s been smiling nonstop.”
“Dude, no way!” Mark simply laughed, thinking it’s another one of Hyuck’s joke. 
Ningning looked lost while Renjun seemed to be focusing on your expression, “I don’t think it’s one of his jokes this time,” he said. 
“It’s really not!” Hyuck whined, glad that Renjun was agreeing. 
“Does this mean—” Mark’s eyes widened. 
“—that they’re dating,” Yunjin said, acting her best as she widened her eyes, almost standing up at the confession. 
A series of gasps left their mouths, “what?” They collectively exclaimed. 
You tried your best to hold in your laugh as Jeno turned to look at you, and from the side of your eyes, you could notice Jaemin staring at you deeply with his jaw clenched. 
“They are! Look! He’s got his arm around her waist,” Hyuck exclaimed in an overdramatic way. 
“Guys—” you tried to say but Jeno stopped you. 
“It’s fine, princess. They know now,” he smiled, pulling you even closer in a side hug. 
That caused Ningning, Mark and Haechan to scream while Linda squealed, jumping on Jaem’s lap. 
Jeno caressed the corner of your lip adoringly, “no need to hide it from our friends, baby,” he said before looking up, “Hyuck is right, we are dating.”
“What the fuck?”
“Since when?”
“Excuse me?”
“Did you fuck?”
All eyes turned to Ningning in disbelief as she asked the question, “what? I’m curious,” she shrugged, everyone looking at Jaemin subtly to observe his reaction. 
You leaned into Jeno’s chest, making yourself comfortable as you saw everyone chatting excitedly, your eyes settling on your ex for just a moment to see his furrowed brows and hardened eyes, a vein popping out from his neck. 
Day one, successful. 
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“So you’re dating now, huh?” Jaemin’s voice asked Jeno as he entered their shared apartment. 
Jaemin was sitting on the couch, face devoid of expressions as he asked the question. 
Jeno chuckled softly, gripping his bag tighter as he walked into the room, standing in front of Jaemin, “yeah. Who would’ve seen that coming?”
That caused the other boy to chuckle along, but it sounded strained, almost ending with a scoff, “I certainly didn’t see it coming.”
“You don’t sound happy for me,” Jeno said, his tone teasing. 
Jaemin was trying hard to keep his smile up, “What makes you think so?”
“Your smile. It’s strained,” Jeno pointed out, grabbing the bottle of beer in front of Jaemin and taking a sip out of it. 
Jaemin clicked his tongue, looking Jeno dead in the eye, “how can you date her? What happened to the bro code?” 
Jeno remained calm, “why? Weren’t you the one who was done with her?”
“She’s my fucking ex, Jeno,” he snapped. 
“That’s right, she’s your ex. She’s not yours anymore, she’s my girl.” Jeno smiled, keeping the beer back on the table before walking away. 
“Oh! And, try to be happy for us now, I don’t want my princess to be sad because of us, yeah?” Jeno gave him his infamous eye smile before returning to his room.
The plan was working. 
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You didn’t have morning classes the next day, which is why you had to walk to the main campus instead of getting a ride with your fake boyfriend. Yet you left your dorm an hour before your lecture to meet up with Jeno as he had something to tell you. 
The one thing you liked about your University was its beauty, the gardens and fresh flowers only heightened up your spirits as you tried to find Jeno in the garden of the STEM faculty, which was mostly empty. 
You spotted Jeno waiting for you by a tree. He was reading the same book he had in the cafe the other day, you had also noticed how frequently he used to go to libraries during your relationship with Jaemin. He loved to read. 
“Hey,” you said, standing in front of him with a smile. 
“Hey there, princess,” he replied, making you tilt your head. 
“Why are you calling me that? We’re alone right now,” you laughed. 
“For practice, of course,” he said in a beat before he handed you a cup of coffee, the exact one which you get from your favourite cafe nearby. 
“How’d you know?” You blink, surprised at his sweet gesture, also thanking him for it. 
He shrugged, “I’m known to be attentive,” he said. 
Jaemin never knew your favourite drink. 
“Jaemin talked to me yesterday,” he told you as you took a sip of your coffee. 
“Yeah?” You asked, stepping closer to hear what he had to say. 
“Yeah, he truly hates this setting. He asked me how I could date you.”
“Oh my god, he didn’t even hesitate? What did you say back then?” You asked. 
“Hold on—” he said, grabbing your waist and turning you around, his hand resting on the back of your head as he pushed you against the tree. 
“What’s wrong?” You asked, eyes widening as he leaned closer, making your heart beat out of your chest as you looked into his honey brown eyes which were surrounded by little specks of gold. 
“Jaemin,” he breathed out, “he’s here and he’s looking our way.”  
To Jaemin, it might look as if Jeno and you are kissing but his lips are still inches away from yours, his scent pleasing your olfactory receptors as your ex only scoffed and walked away. 
“Oh,” you said in understanding. 
Jeno only chuckled, “so, he went on saying how you are his ex and I shouldn’t be dating you,” he continued to tell you the story. 
Only Lee Jeno can talk so calmly in such a compromising position. You wondered if Jaemin had left already. 
“What did you reply?” You asked, voice coming out in a whisper as your body became aware of his hand which rested on your waist. 
“That you’re not his anymore,” he claimed, “that you’re mine now.” He said, breathily. 
You gulped down your nervousness. You knew it was a part of the act yet you couldn’t help but feel your skin tingling ever so slightly as you nodded. 
“Is he gone?” You asked, referring to Jaemin. 
Jeno blinked twice, finally looking up to see no sign of your ex anymore as he stepped back and you breathed in deeply. 
“The plan is working perfectly then,” you let out softly. 
He nodded, eyes crinkling. 
“I almost forgot,” you gasped, “Yunjin gave me this idea that we should go on a date!” 
“A date?” He asked, knowing that it’ll just be the two of you there. 
“Yes. It’s honestly just to make it believable. We can go out, click pictures and have a good time by eating good food,” you said, looking in his eyes for confirmation. 
“Sure, let’s do that,” he agreed, making you smile as you said you’d text him the details before rushing to your lecture. 
Jeno simply leaned back, staring at your rushing figure with tender eyes. 
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Another week had gone by swiftly and the only thing that bothered you were the girls who came up to you, asking if you were truly in a relationship with Jeno, to which you said yes with the sweetest smile you could muster, crushing all their hopes of having a future with your fake boyfriend. 
Hyuck was hellbent on knowing more about this newfound relationship of yours, Ningning simply wanted to know if the calm and silent guy was good in bed, Yunjin and Karina were amazing at acting as if they didn’t know it was fake. Mark approached Jeno as he tried to get a few tips out of him since Mark wanted to man up and confess to his crush. 
As for Jaemin, you haven't seen him for the past two days. He didn’t sit with your group during lunch, nor was in any of your shared lectures. Even his girlfriend came to ask you guys if you had seen him. Only Jeno knew that Jaemin had spent the past two days drinking at their apartment. 
That was the least of your concerns as Ningning kept asking you random questions. 
“Favourite hair colour on guys?” She asked. 
“Black looks heavenly,” you admitted. 
“And haircut?” She asked Karina.
“Anything as long as it’s not a bowl cut,” she winced, distaste for that haircut clear on her face. 
“But guys, undercut looks so fucking hot, you have to admit that,” you pointed out and everyone seemed to agree with you. 
The conversation was casual but Jeno decided to take it up a notch and surprise you with something you had decided upon, yet never executed. 
“Let’s go on a date today, baby,” Jeno suggested, again making everyone stop and stare at you both. 
“Dude, how are you so cool?” Mark whined, wanting to do the same with his crush. 
“I thought you were shy, but I guess the silent ones are the freakiest,” Ningning commented. 
“He’s literally talking about a date, Ning,” you sighed. 
“I can't believe he took you away from me,” Hyuck shook his head as you gave him a look. 
“You guys were never together in the first place,” Karina reminded Hyuck, and he sobbed dramatically. 
Jeno looked at you expectantly, his eyes seemed bigger than usual and you could swear they were shining just the perfect amount. It somehow made you look away, biting your lower lip in the process before you nodded. 
“I’d love to,” you admitted. 
“Perfect, I’ll pick you up at five,” he said, grabbing his bag and swinging it on his right shoulder. 
He noticed how you looked happy this particular day, your face had a certain kind of glow to it and your smile was brighter. It seemed as if you were doing better now, and your friends really loved to see you this way. 
He bent down, touching your cheek tenderly, pressing his lips on your forehead ever so gently, making your eyes flutter close at the soothing sensation. 
“See you then, princess,” he whispered, looking at you one last time before going to attend his next lecture. 
“Did he just?” Hyuck covered his mouth. 
You were just as shocked as the others, not expecting any kind of PDA at all, especially when Jaemin wasn’t around. That was the first time he had done it. You bit your lip yet again, looking down at your lap, trying to contain your smile. 
Yunjin and Karina looked at you before looking at each other with a knowing look. 
Then they smiled, wishing for the best.  
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“What do I even wear?” You huff in distress, looking at your roommates who looked like statues seeing your bed full of random clothes tossed around. 
“You can simply ask him where you guys are gonna go, it’s not like you’re actually dating and it’s a surprise,” Karina pointed out. 
You stopped, saying, “you’re right actually,” but then you whined, “I don’t wanna ask him such simple things, help me out guys.”
Yunjin sighed, mustering her stylist expression as she gave your wardrobe and your bed a once over, quickly getting all articles of clothing she wanted before handing them over to you, solving your problem in two minutes maximum. 
“Don’t you think this dress is a little fancy? I mean, we’re probably going to a local cafe,” You asked, cocking your brow. 
��Just trust me and wear this babygirl,” Yunjin said, using her usual nicknames. 
You had just finished applying your lip oil, concluding your makeup as you got a notification from Jeno saying he was outside your dorm. 
You smiled unknowingly at the text, a feeling of excitement, or rather, giddiness creeping up your stomach as you bid your roommates goodbye, grabbing your purse and not forgetting to thank them for tolerating your tantrums. 
Walking out of the dorm and towards the exit, you stopped as you saw Jeno leaning against his car, which wasn’t an unusual sight for you, however, you had never expected to see him in a black jacket, thinking that he’d be clad in his usual hoodies. 
His hair was neatly trimmed as he sported an undercut, which he didn’t have in the morning, meaning he got it cut right after your classes. 
Right after you revealed your liking for the particular haircut. 
“Jeno,” you whispered, walking closer to him, noticing how he wasn’t wearing his usual specs either, probably opting for the lenses instead. 
He was lost in his own thoughts, his eyes fixated on the flower he held in his hand, completely immersed in his thoughts before he looked up to see you standing right in front of him. 
“Y/n,” he murmured, his heart pounding slightly as he noticed the light breeze gently swaying the hem of your dress, “you look beautiful,” he smiled, dissipating your jittering nerves and sending a wave of warmth through your chest. 
“You look so—” you tried to find the right word, eyes never leaving his face as you had never seen him look so bold before, “captivating.”
He laughed at your statement, “here,” he said, extending his arm and passing you the flower he had gotten for you, the tips of your fingers brushed against his ever so slightly, “glad I could captivate you, sweetheart,” he whispered, winking at you. 
You were left stunned, wondering where did he get his sudden boost of confidence from as you sat inside his car, watching him start the car, gripping the steering wheel normally, yet it made the veins of his hands pop out. 
You cleared your throat, “so, where are you taking me today?” You asked him. 
“Well, that’s something you’ll have to wait and see,” he teased, building up your anticipation. 
“Okay, is it far though?” You asked, falling into a conversation with him so easily, and he told you it would be an hour long drive, making you wonder where you were off to. 
There was something so endearing about others sharing their favourite things and talking about them, you loved to hear all of it and you felt even better seeing Jeno comfortable around you as he went on telling you about the books he’d been reading and recommending the ones you’d like. 
One hour felt like a few minutes with him, time passing by effortlessly. Your lips parted in surprise once you saw where you were.
It was the fancy restaurant you’d been wishing to visit from the past year, but never got a chance to do so, “oh my god, I really wanted to come here to eat,” you told him, smile brightening and you were glad you had dressed up for it. 
“I know,” he said, extending his arm for you to hold. 
You looked at him, incredulous, “how?” 
“I asked Karina,” he admitted as you held on to his arm softly. 
You were thoroughly surprised at his revelation, knowing that he could’ve taken you to any normal place nearby but he chose this. You were in awe at how beautiful the interior was as you focused on the little details here and there. 
“You didn’t have to do so much, Jeno,” you whispered, loving how his skin shone under the light of the chandelier. 
He shook his head softly, eyes never leaving your face, “I know it’s a fake date but it doesn’t mean that I’ll take you to our usual cafés, you deserve more than that.”
You breathed in softly, breaking eye contact and looking at your fiddling fingers. You felt as if your heart was beating out of your chest. Everything he did felt so genuine and well thought of. He cared about your likes and dislikes, he always took a note of your preferences. 
Jaemin never did that. 
“You’re too fucking sweet,” you muttered under your breath so he can’t hear it. 
“Hm?” He asked, menu in his hands as he scanned it thoroughly for all possible options. 
“Nothing,” you smiled, getting your phone out and clicking a few candid pictures of him, which did capture his attention. 
“What’s that for?” He looked at you with big eyes, his face giving out the cutest expressions despite him looking tough in his undercut and newfound style. 
“Why not? Can’t post my boyfriend on my story now?” You asked cheekily. 
It was something you both had decided you’d do, the likes and replies flooded in soon as your friends were flabbergasted at the fact that Jeno had cut his hair and dressed up so well. 
You both decided upon the dishes you wished to have and the waiter noted it down kindly, leaving you two alone to talk after. 
“Won't you post me too?” You asked. 
“I will, you just have to wait for a while. I promise it’ll be the prettiest picture ever,” he said, full of confidence. 
“Well, that’s a challenge then because I don’t usually like my photos,” you smirked and he leaned in. 
“We’ll see how that goes,” he challenged. 
It was great that you could share any kind of emotions with him, whether it was you being goofy, him being silent, or you being nervous as he turns to be confident. It was a mix of everything. 
Soon, your food was served to you and even the scent of the scrumptious meal was enough to make your mouth water as you hummed with delight with just one bite, saying it melted just perfectly in your mouth. 
You didn’t notice him watching your eager face, loving your reaction as he felt like he did the right thing bringing you here. Until you catch him watching you. 
“Is there something on my face?” You asked cluelessly, pouting as you ate another bite. 
“Actually, yeah there is,” he said, leaning closer to caress the corner of your lip with his thumb, brushing away the crumbs gently as you simply sat with your heart pounding at his gesture. Even more so when he smiled, licking his thumb, “all done.” 
“You’re really so good at it,” you muttered, and this time he heard it. 
“At what?”
“If you do this,” you said, gesturing at your lip, “to any girl then she’ll definitely swoon over you.”
He raised his brow, “why? Did you like it that much?” 
An awkward chuckle left your mouth as you tried to dismiss his question, “I’m just saying,” you state, trying to be as nonchalant as possible. 
He only laughed, “alright, sweetheart.”
You whined, and the other families around looked at you both with soft eyes, thinking you both were cute together as his eyes turned into crescents at your behaviour. 
You couldn’t remember the last time you felt so at ease being out with someone. That wasn’t just all, Jeno insisted on taking you to another place for a little walk. Night had fallen as you walked together on a rather empty bridge, yet it was a pretty sight—water reflecting the glistening stars along with the crescent moon. 
“How’s Jaemin?” You asked all of a sudden, not noticing Jeno’s smile faltering for a fraction of a second. 
“He’s coping in his own way. I bet he’ll be back to uni tomorrow. But he definitely regrets it,” Jeno lets out slowly, “isn’t that your goal?” 
You stop walking, trying to find the right words, “yeah,” you whispered,  “but it’s not over until he confronts me himself. I need some closure,” you said, looking at him with a teasing smile now, “why? Don’t wanna be with me anymore?” 
He licked his lips, biting his tongue as he smiled, which you noticed was another habit of his, “of course not. It’s good to have someone to talk to.”
“Yeah? Then tell me more about you,” you said, looking at the water as you folded your arms over the railing. 
He was silent for a few seconds, joining you to lean on the railing, “I’ve always been the shy kid I guess. I was the one who always used to read sitting in the corner of a class and so, I never really had friends.”
You didn’t glance at him, letting him speak freely. Jeno was one of the kindest souls you had ever met and it was obvious even in the little time you had known him. You wanted him to be happy. 
“Jaemin was my friend ever since we were kids, our families are really close so he was forced to befriend me. He didn’t mind it, he was the kindest child and helped me talk to others, he was also the reason why I met you guys,” he sighed, “Jaem was always first when it came to everything, he led the way for me and I let him do that each time.” He turned his head, looking your way as he whispered, “until I realized I should’ve been the first this one time.”
You couldn’t understand what he was referring to, yet you understood that Jaemin was dear to him, however his recent actions caused him to drift apart from Jeno. 
A flash of light took you out of your trance. Jeno had clicked your picture, “show!” You said, almost jumping closer to him and his shoulders rose up as he laughed when you tried to get his phone from his hands. 
“You’ll see when I post it,” he said. 
You whined again, “but what if I look bad in the picture?”
“You can’t ever look bad, sweetheart,” he said earnestly and you could feel your cheeks heating up as you closed your mouth shut, biting your lip as you looked away shyly. 
He chuckled, “let’s get you home now.”
You checked the time on your wristwatch, “oh, yeah. It’s late.”
You both started walking towards his car, getting off the bridge as Jeno saw you shiver with the sudden gust of chilly air hitting you. 
He wasted no time in getting his jacket off and passing it to you, “here, it’s cold.”
Your eyes widened to see him wearing nothing but a white tank underneath which displayed his muscles as the moonlight accentuated it further. You never knew he worked out, your eyes travelling to his arms which were veiny. 
Jeno looked unreal, almost like the bad boys you’d see in a movie but his well sculpted face made him look like a Greek god. He really had it all. 
You didn’t even notice you had stopped walking as Jeno wrapped his jacket around your figure, smiling slightly as you reached the car, his scent enveloped you aa you hugged the jacket closer to you.  
“T—thank you,” you spoke, mentally slapping yourself for stuttering. 
“Can’t let my girlfriend freeze now, can I?” He stated more than asked. 
He helped you get in the car by opening the door, which he always did. It was another habit of his which you found endearing. He got in the car soon, looking your way before he leaned in all of a sudden, his face inches away from yours, causing you to stop breathing for a few seconds. 
The shape of his lips was beautiful. 
He leaned back soon, dragging the seatbelt with him as he secured you in your seat. The proximity reminded you of how he kissed your forehead in the morning, and your mouth worked before your mind could as you asked him about it. 
“Uh, so—why did you kiss my forehead in the morning?” You inquired. 
He most certainly was not expecting that question, and his expression gave it away, “your friends were watching,” he stated, licking his lips, “and Mark was suspicious as we never kissed before or did anything other than hand holding,” he explained. 
“Did he ask you about it?” You questioned, hugging the jacket closer to your body. 
Jeno hummed as a reply, seeing you get comfortable on the seat with droopy eyelids, he knew you were going to fall asleep soon and he let you. 
His heart could only take so much for one day. 
He made sure to drive safe, glancing at your sleeping figure from time to time and he swore you looked like a baby when you slept. 
You reached back safely and he stopped the car, he didn’t wish to wake you up when you looked so at peace. He called out your name softly, coming closer to pat your shoulder. 
You stirred in your sleep, opening your eyes slowly to find Jeno close to you. 
“We’re here,” he spoke, voice low. 
“Oh,” you blinked a few times, trying to adjust to the street lights as you got out of the car, not expecting Jeno to get out along with you. 
You looked at him in question and he just shrugged, his muscles flexing in the process, “let me walk you to your door,” he said. 
Jaemin never walked you to your door. 
“Don’t you ever get tired of being a gentleman?” You asked with an amused smile. 
“Not when it comes to you,” he uttered quietly. 
Heat rushed up the tip of your ears now that you stood in front of him, “Jeno—” you whispered, “thank you so much for today. I can’t remember the last time I had this much fun on a date.”
A fake date, you reminded yourself. 
“It’s good to see you happy,” he took a step closer, “good night, princess.”
He was gentle as he slowly brushed his fingers on your forehead to tuck your hair behind your ear, he leaned in closer, his lips grazing your forehead in a featherlight kiss. You closed your eyes, the warmth of his kiss lingering on your skin as he bid goodbye to you. 
He was walking away by the time you could open your eyes and breathe again, not even bothering to ask for his jacket back from you. 
You looked around your place once to see if your friends were watching this time. 
They weren’t. 
Your room had a tranquil atmosphere as the moonlight coming from the window lit it up. Your roommates were already asleep in their respective rooms as you got changed into your sleepwear and took your makeup off, carefully keeping Jeno’s jacket on the bed, not once thinking that your pillow would exude a scent like him too. 
It was hard to sleep, as if you had a feeling of giddiness bubbling up inside of you. Even after tossing and turning, you couldn’t find a perfect position to sleep, not to mention how your mind had created a montage of today’s date, replaying it over and over. 
You sighed, staring at the ceiling before closing your eyes shut, hoping you’d get some sleep before waking up for Uni in the morning. And slowly, you drifted to dreamland with Jeno’s scent lingering in the air. 
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Your alarm clock was your enemy. You really needed a few more minutes to catch up on your sleep, grabbing your phone to see if there’s something that could drive your sleepiness away. 
There was. 
Your picture was the first thing you saw when you opened Instagram, it was posted by Jeno instead of being put up as a story, which was unusual since he only had two pictures on his account—one of him and the other one of his cats. 
A soft gasp left your mouth, heart thumping out of your chest as you saw the picture. The flash made you glow and you had the tiniest hint of a smile on your face as you looked at the night sky. 
It was indeed your prettiest picture anyone had ever captured, it was exactly what Jeno had promised. 
The caption, however, made you turn around and grab your pillow as you screamed into it, kicking your feet. 
My girl, that’s what he wrote in his caption, paired with a red heart. 
You knew it was for show but that didn’t stop the butterflies in your stomach from going feral. It felt too real, the gestures, the little things. It felt more real than your previous real relationship and you weren’t sure how you felt about it. 
It was another day where you had afternoon classes, and so you did not go to the uni with Jeno. You had not liked or commented on the picture yet, pondering about how to go on about this. 
Jeno had texted you twice, wishing you a good morning first and then asking if you had your lunch yet. You were tempted to reply but first, you gained a slight amount of courage and liked his post. 
You typed a comment with the first thing that came to your mind. 
You’re mine forever ❤️
Your cheeks burned up as you kept your phone down on one of the picnic benches kept around the campus, as that was the exact place you were sitting at after your classes had ended. 
A very whiny and feminine voice called out your name, and you looked up to see Linda along with your ex and your fake boyfriend. The smile on her face was sickening and you wondered what they were doing together. 
Yet again, you did not think twice before getting up and burying your face in Jeno’s chest, wrapping your arms around him in an embrace. This shocked Jeno, you could feel him go still for a negligible second before a deep laugh boomed up his chest, you could feel him vibrate as he wrapped his arms around your frame. 
“Missed me that much, baby?” He asked, patting your head. 
Jaemin watched the scene unfold with dark eyes. 
“I missed you so much, baby,” you whispered. 
It was the first time you had used a nickname on anyone, heck you never even called Jaemin that. 
A cough separated you both and now you couldn’t muster up enough courage to look at Jeno while he couldn’t stop looking your way. 
“Linda wants to have lunch together, like a double date,” Jeno told you and you saw Linda nod excitedly. 
“It’s so romantic! We even got the lunch packed, see!” She raised her hand to show you two bags which probably had the lunch she was talking about. 
This day couldn’t have gotten more weird. 
“That sounds great!” You tried to sound cheerful but it only came out awkward. 
Good for you, Linda didn’t pick up your tone and clapped excitedly, “we only have thirty minutes because I have my salon appointment after so let’s be fast,” she spoke in a go. 
You noticed Jeno sporting the same look of confusion as you, it was an awkward situation indeed. Jaemin didn’t say a word, only observing you and Jeno. 
Jeno took the paper bag and got the packed lunches out. He had gotten you your favourite salad with grilled chicken as he opted to get the same dish for himself, not forgetting to get you coke, which you preferred to drink while eating. 
He really paid a lot of attention to your likes and dislikes. 
Linda really couldn’t read the room as she never once stopped talking about this new lingerie set she got for herself, “Nana liked it too,” she giggled and you tried to focus on eating, not having it in you to picture it in your mind.  
“I’ve told you not to call me that,” he spoke, his words harsh. 
That was the first time he opened his mouth ever since you started eating. Linda didn’t care, pouting slightly as she started talking again, “let’s play couples quiz!” She squealed. 
You could feel your headache growing with her high pitched voice. 
“Jeno, when’s Y/no’s birthday?” She asked. 
He fixed his gaze on you, answering the question correctly. You tried not to be shocked, displaying your sweet smile for them. He actually knew a lot about you, the eye contact made you bite your lower lip before you asked. 
“Jaemin, when’s Linda’s birthday?” You asked now, questioning him directly, which he did not expect. 
“Third of February,” he said and Linda gasped, offended. 
“That’s not my birthday!” She almost screamed, bickering with him for a solid minute as Jeno passed you a few tissues, seeing the salad get on your fingers. 
“Okay, next question,” she said and she kept on asking him questions as if it was a rapid fire round and Jeno answered each of them correctly. Your heart was thumping out of your chest, he knew your favourite colour, your favourite tv show and singer, your favourite cake and song. 
Jaemin knew nothing. 
Linda didn’t know a thing about Jaemin either, just like he never knew a thing about Linda. 
Jaemin slammed his fist on the table, getting up and walking away without any second glance, you almost jumped with how loud the sound was, your hand resting on top of your chest to soothe your nerves. 
Linda ran after him, or rather she tried to run after him in her heels. 
“Are you okay?” Jeno asked you softly, his fingers caressing your cheek as he searched your face for any kind of discomfort. 
You nodded, gulping and looking away. 
This wasn’t supposed to happen. Your skin wouldn’t stop tingling where he had touched you, it was almost impossible for you to breathe when he was so close to you. 
“Y—yeah, I’m okay. I think I should go and get my assignments done now, yeah,” you said, fumbling over your words as Jeno frowned, wondering if he did something wrong. 
“Y/n—”
“I’ll see you tomorrow!” You waved at him, almost running away, leaving him with a dejected sigh. 
Of course, you didn’t have to answer his questions, he reminded himself. It was a fake relationship after all. 
So, while you laid in your bed with your pillow clutched close to your chest, Jeno stood in front of Jaemin at their apartment. 
“Since when do you eat salad?” Jaemin asked, tone somewhat disappointing laced with a hint of jealousy. 
“Y/n likes it,” Jeno smiled softly, “It was hard not to like it after.”
“You hated coffee,” Jaemin almost accused. 
“I like it now, it’s normal to develop your taste,” Jeno replied calmly. 
“You’ve never gone on a date before, you’ve never had this kind of hairstyle before. You’re changing yourself and for what?” Jaemin sighed, shoulders dropping when he accused him again. 
Jeno only bit his lip, “love does things to you and I think I'm changing for the better.”
Love. 
That’s all Jaemin had to hear before leaving the room. 
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“Why are you sulking, babygirl?” Yunjin asked you the next day, seeing you sitting with your blanket wrapped around you, a piece of chip in your mouth as you lazily snacked on it. 
“Nothing,” you mumbled, hiding your face. 
Yunjin rolled her eyes, “you were squealing in the morning yesterday, what changed?” 
You sighed deeply, “I guess I’m just feeling a bit down today,” you shrugged. 
She sat down on the bed, right in front of you before pulling you in the most warm and comfortable hug. It was something you appreciated even more this particular day. You felt conflicted with your feelings. 
It’s the little things, it’s always the little things when it comes to Jeno, it creates a bigger picture for him. But for Jaemin, it was only the larger picture with no elements supporting it. 
“That’s the problem, babygirl. I’m not gonna let you drown in your own blanket all evening. You’re coming with me to the party,” Yunjin stated, opening your closet to select an outfit for you already. 
Turns out that Yunjin can be a great manipulator because there was no way you’d be standing in the middle of a party with a vodka shot in your hand otherwise. 
Maybe drinking would help you, it always does. It’s almost pathetic how you’re ready to get shitfaced for a whole night just to get rid of intrusive thoughts, the thoughts which consisted of Jeno and Jeno only. 
You drank that shot in a go, getting another one as Hyuck tried to stop you but to no avail. Once you had taken three shots, all in a row, you turned around to find Karina, who looked as if she spent a while trying to find you. 
“Y/n! Where have you been?” She asked, grabbing your hand, “come, we’re gonna play upstairs.” Without much fighting, she dragged you upstairs and Hyuck followed behind. 
You wondered what Jeno would be doing right now. 
The multicoloured lights were shining bright as they covered the expanse of the whole staircase, which you had trouble walking up, courtesy of your heels and a very short dress. 
Karina opened the door to a room and your eyes immediately scanned the surroundings to understand who you were going to deal with tonight. 
It was your whole friend group and some of their mutual friends too, however that wasn’t why you stood frozen in your spot at the given moment. 
Lee Jeno, the guy you had been avoiding since yesterday, was sitting in the same circle, the bean bags, sofas and chairs were arranged to be that way, as he sipped on a can of beer which he held in his slender fingers. 
Seeing him at the party was shocking enough as he rarely attended any, but to add on to it, he was all dressed up as well. 
He sipped on the drink, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he gulped. The side angle gave you the best view of his undercut and defined jawline, your eyes travelling down to his chest, which was exposed as the top few buttons of his white shirt were unbuttoned, a black leather jacket covering him up as he also sported a few rings on his long, veiny fingers, a necklace gracing his slender neck. 
You almost forgot how to breathe until Karina pushed you forward, which gained the attention of Jeno, who smiled your way as he expected you to come over to him. 
Karina and Yunjin high fived in the background, meaning; it was their plan for you both to meet at the party. 
Your heels clicked as you walked towards him, it was as if you both were the only ones in the room at the given moment. He wasn’t being subtle as he stared at you, especially how he looked up when you stood next to him. 
“Baby,” he whispered, pulling you to him—which was something you never expected. 
You landed straight on his lap, his arm wrapped around you securely as the other one rested on your thigh, covering up your skin which was showing, courtesy of your short dress. 
Your mind blanked, you couldn’t think anymore as goosebumps rose up your arms when he spoke in his deep voice, the others also stopped to stare at you both as he was not the one to show affection in public. 
Hyuck and Yunjin teased you both, yet that wasn’t something you paid much attention to. You didn’t even see Jaemin sitting in the same room, as if he wasn’t anyone to you anymore. 
“I missed you so fucking much,” he whispered, making you sit close to him, your hand working on its own as it held on to his broad shoulder for support. 
You should have been used to this whole fake dating plan of yours, yet you couldn’t ever get used to Jeno’s constant surprises. It didn’t feel like it was fake when it came to him and it most certainly wasn’t a help how you could feel the alcohol kicking in, his hand felt warm on your cold skin. 
“Jeno,” you whispered, looking at him with hooded eyes. 
However, you never got to say anything further as others had decided on playing a classic game of twenty one dares. 
The first dare went to Mark, who was given the dare to kiss his crush who sat right next to him. 
“Why were you avoiding me all day?” Jeno asked in a whisper when everyone else was busy cheering for Mark. 
You had no answer for it, nor did you have any way to control your heart which was thumping out of your rib cage with the proximity. 
You breathed out with a chuckle which sounded forced, grabbing a beer can which was on the table in front of you, “avoiding you? Why would I?” You asked, looking away. 
That wasn’t much help as he was quick to grab your chin, making you look his way again, “did I do something wrong?” 
His actions were bold, yet his voice was sweet and full of concern. You shook your head, resting it on his shoulder, “of course not,” you whispered, not having it in you to look at him, “you’re really perfect, Jeno.”
He wasn’t given any time to react as others cheered. 
Apparently, it was your turn to get a dare and the evil smile on Renjun’s face gave it all away, as if he knew exactly what was going on between you two. 
“I dare you to kiss Jeno,” he smirked as everyone minus Jaemin clapped, Mark nodding, still red from the kiss. 
“True, we’ve never seen you kiss,” Hyuck muttered in realization. 
You stopped breathing, seeing everyone cheering for you. You had fake kissed him when Jaemin was watching that one day in the lawns, yet this was a whole different story when they were demanding an actual kiss from you both. 
Jeno’s hand tightened around your waist, your dazed eyes taking in his expression as he raised his hand to cup your cheek, caressing the corner of your lips gently, as if he was asking for your permission. 
You knew you were drunk, yet all your senses made you feel as thought you were the sanest person alive. The anticipation felt so painful and you could feel Jaemin’s stare on you both. 
With a tender sigh, your eyes closed shut as you grabbed the collar of his jacket, pulling him into you. 
Your lips collided in a fervent kiss, your fingers tangled in his hair, tugging it ever so slightly, causing him to groan into your mouth as his hand supported the back of your head, tilting it slightly as your desire and passion fused together, transcending your surroundings. 
You couldn’t hear the whistling or screaming around your surroundings, your mind completely gave in to the pretty boy, who was kissing you like his life depended upon it. 
His lips were soft, perfectly moulding against yours as you moved them in harmony, letting the sheer pleasure take over your senses to the point you couldn’t differentiate between whether you were drunk which made you feel as if you were in the state of unadulterated ecstasy or it was simply Jeno’s effect on your body. 
You didn’t pay attention to Jaemin, who threw the beer can on the floor, walking away from the room, nor did you care about Linda who ran after him. 
All you knew was that Lee Jeno was kissing you and he was exceptionally amazing at it. 
He squeezes your waist as you gasped, letting him bite your lower lip, lacking his usual self control as he mentally claimed you to be too intoxicating for him. 
“Hey! Get a fucking room!” Renjun shouted. 
That was enough for you to break the kiss, your eyes still closed as your chest heaved up and down, blood rushing to your cheeks as you felt tingly all over, the shiver going down your spine all the way to your abdomen. 
Jeno was already staring at you by the time your eyes fluttered open. His lips looked plump, slightly swollen from how you had kissed him, the veins on his neck seemed even more prominent but his eyes—they were dark, laced with lust. 
He didn’t wish to stop. 
You didn’t want him to stop. 
He got up from the chair, making you stand up along with him, his fingers quick to intertwine with yours as he pulled you with him, your wide eyes drifting to look at Karina who only winked at you, giving a thumbs up alongside it. 
“Jeno,” you breathed, following him out and into an empty room, which he locked before pushing you against the wooden door. 
You could barely stand given how weak your knees felt at that exact moment. It most certainly didn’t help that Jeno bent down to your level, the dim lights of the room making his skin shine as he asked you again. 
“Why were you avoiding me, Y/n?” His tone gave you goosebumps when you heard your name roll out of his tongue. 
Forming sentences felt like a tough job when his lips were borderline touching yours, “because,” you whispered mindlessly, wrapping your arms around his neck, “I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” Your voice was quiet, just like the room, which made it sound louder than intended as you looked him up through your lashes. 
His jaw was clenched, you could notice him breathing deep, his hold on you tight and you chuckled deeply, alcohol taking over your senses, “I can’t stop thinking of you, Jeno.”
You didn’t let him reply before you pressed your lips onto his, your bodies pressed against each other, mouths moving as your lips melded and parted, his hands all over your body, every touch igniting a spark in you. 
He tapped your thigh twice and you got the memo, jumping into his arms as he picked you up with ease, muscles flexing in the process but his lips never left yours while he walked towards the bed, helping you lie down as he got on top of you, your legs wrapping around his waist as your dress started riding up your thigh. 
He leaned back, eyes fixated on yours but you only continued to pepper kisses along his jawline, and down his neck, making him growl as he stopped you from unbuttoning his shirt. 
“You’re drunk, baby. I don’t want you to regret anything in the morning,” he says softly, breathing in your scent as he inhales deeply. 
“I’m not,” you whined, switching your positions to be sitting in front of him, trying to remove his jacket, before he stops you with his fingers wrapping around your wrist. 
He cupped your cheek as you looked at him sadly, “tell me, do you not want me?” You’d ask, playing with his necklace. 
“Fuck,” he muttered. He couldn’t hold himself back, not when your eyes sparkled with innocence and undeniable glimmer of need, “you have no idea, darling,” he chuckles, running his thumb on your lower lip, which was still wet from your kiss, “I want you so fucking much.”
That was enough for you to smile at him, eyes hazy as you slid off the bed and got on your knees, unbuckling his belt as you fumbled with the button of his jeans while Jeno couldn’t believe this was happening. 
The strap of your dress slid down, revealing more of your cleavage, that’s exactly when you helped him get out of his jeans, revealing his boxers. Your fingers grazed his clothed cock, your lips tugging up as you saw him groan, even more so when you kissed his semi-hardened cock. 
His eyes never left yours during the entire time you teased him, getting his leather jacket off, leaving him in his white button up and boxers, which you pulled down in a go. 
A shiver went down your abdomen, making you close your thighs with how big he was. His cock was hard, leaking with precum that made your mouth water. He had the biggest cock you had ever witnessed in your life, girth and veiny too. 
He sucks in a sharp breath when you take him in your small hand, squeezing it a smidge before planting featherlight kisses all over his length, swirling your tongue around his head, he bit his lip as he took the scene in front of him. You licked big stripes of his length before taking his head into your mouth. 
That snapped him out of his daze, he couldn’t take your teasing any longer. Pushing himself up slightly, he spread his legs to accommodate your body between it as he grabbed your nape, gathering your hair in a makeshift ponytail as you took him in, your hands stroking the base where your lips couldn’t reach. 
“Just like that, sweetheart,” he growled, pushing your head to hold his cock in you even deeper. 
You can’t help but think how he looks nothing like his sweet self in the given moment, he looks like a devil who’s thirsting for lust, his eyes dark and so immersed in your activities. 
His length throbs in your mouth as you continue your ministrations, quickening your pace as you sucked him off with all you had, hearing him growl made you realize how your panties were soaking wet when you release him with a satisfying pop sound, looking up at him again.
He sat straighter, his thumb wiping the saliva that was all over your chin and lips before pulling you up on the bed, spreading your legs to see a wet patch on your panties as you struggled to take your dress off. 
He chuckled deeply, “Oh, bunny. Let me help you with that,” he says cursing once he sees you without any bra, his fingers tracing your neck, your clavicle and goes down all the way to play with your tits. 
However, that’s not all he does. Your toes curl when he yanks your panties to the side, immersing his tongue to tease your clit before he licks and sucks you thoroughly, humming against your folds as he gets drunk on the taste of your juices. 
His tongue prods on your entrance, pushing it in as your fingers grabbed his roots, tugging on his hair which also elicited a deep groan from him, your eyes rolling back with how ecstatic you felt. 
He fucked your cunt, pushing his tongue in while his thumb worked wonders on your sensitive bundle of nerves, making you squirm around, finally moaning out, “Jeno, oh god!” You cried out. 
“That’s it baby, scream my name,” he whispers against you, the moist squelching noises filling up the room as you arched your back, your body shaking with how you could feel your high approaching, as he yearned for your pussy, not stopping once, as if he had completely plunged his body to focus on your pleasure and your pleasure only. 
You chanted his name as if it was a mantra you had to recite, and that’s exactly when you felt your stomach tightening, a teardrop leaving the corner of your eye, cascading down your neck as you allowed yourself to feel the unadulterated bliss Jeno provided you with. 
It wasn’t the alcohol, you admitted. 
You were drunk on Jeno. 
You breathed in deeply as he licked you up, finally getting up as he rolled your nipples between the rough pads of his fingers before he also removed his last article of clothing, leaving you to see the shadow of his abs and pecs clearly. 
“Tell me you won’t regret this in the morning, baby,” he breathes out, searching your eyes as his length brushes against your sensitive cunt. 
“I won’t,” you promised, “I want you, I need you, Jeno,” you cried out as his eyes turned hooded. 
He silenced your loud moan with his lips on yours, your nails digging into his back as he gave a sharp thrust, filling you up till he bottomed out easily with how wet you were, kissing your tears away and giving you a minimum of two seconds before he grabbed your wrists, holding them above your head. 
“Do you know how pretty you look right now, bunny?” He asks, giving you another sharp thrust, this particular one hitting your g-spot, which had you whimpering out his name, “all mine, yeah?” He asks, thrusting harder, his hips slapping your ass. 
“Y—yours!” You managed to speak, eyes closing shut with pleasure. 
“Open your eyes, baby. Look at me when I fuck your pretty little cunt,” he whispers as your wail out when his cock hits your cervix. 
He takes his time to kiss and mark your neck, his teeth digging in as he sucks on your sensitive skin harsh enough to leave marks. 
It was effortless how he moved in and out of you so easily despite groaning about how tight your little hole was and you felt dumb, you couldn’t think, you couldn’t speak. You just knew one thing and that was Jeno. 
He manhandled you easily, turning you around and lifting your ass up, your face buried into the pillow as your mascara smudged, just how your lipstick was smudged all over your cheeks. 
He thrusted into you yet again, smacking your ass as he saw it jiggle with the impact, another moan reverberated the room, which made him spank you twice more before he started fucking you again, your walls clenching around him with need as he gave you almost brutal backshots. 
“I’m—Fuck!” You cried out, almost passing out as you breathed in deeply. 
You both were so close, his cock twitched in you as his thrusts got sharper, “go on, bunny. Cream my cock like a good fucking girl,” he growled. 
You withered beneath him as you screamed out his name with sheer pleasure as you reached your high, coating his cock with your juices before he also moaned deeply, fucking his cum into your glistening pussy. 
He breathed in deeply as he pulled out, staring at your cunt which was dripping with your juices mixed together. 
He sighed softly, holding you in his arms, “baby,” he whispered softly as you initiated a soft kiss, getting on his lap again as your heart beat rose up to the point you could hear it in your ears while Jeno felt the same way. 
He could see how exhausted you were by how you started dozing off in his arms. He didn’t know what would happen tomorrow, he didn’t want to know. All he wanted was to have you in his arms now and freeze the time. 
It took him time to get up as he helped you get dressed up again, before he picked you up in his arms, getting down to see the party winding up. You were asleep and cuddling into him, his heart still racing as he saw Yunjin smiling at you two, “take her home with you,” she said, “and you better take care of her,” she added as a genuine warning, which made Jeno nod earnestly. 
He would never hurt you.  
He really was perfect with how he took you to his room safely, with how he tried to remove your makeup even though he had no idea what he was doing, yet he was gentle as you slept with how drunk and exhausted you were. He made sure to change your clothes to his loose ones, just so you would sleep comfortably. 
He had fucked you, however he still was respectful and tried to not look your way while he changed your clothes. 
You looked so peaceful as you snuggled close to his pillow in his bed, he couldn’t help but stare at you with a soft smile as he kissed your forehead, “sleep well, baby.” He whispered as he slid under the covers next to you, holding you as if he was scared he’d lose you, his body shivering ever so slightly at the thought as he cradled you in his arms. 
Jeno really was perfect. 
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Your body was sore, the sunlight almost blinding you, adding on to the throbbing pain in your head as you shifted around the covers, opening your eyes with a groan to find yourself in unfamiliar surroundings. 
A low cry left your lips as the memories of the past night flooded into your mind, the graphic details of Jeno and you, the way he had asked you if you’d regret it. 
You didn’t regret a thing. 
And neither did you know how you’d face him after this. Yes, everything that started off as a fake relationship but even you couldn’t deny that none of it felt fake to you. 
Butterflies erupted in your stomach as you saw a little note on the nightstand saying—
Good morning, sweetheart <3 Please take this medicine when you wake up and also drink the hangover soup! I’ll be at Uni and will be back by the time you wake up, love. 
“Why do you have to be so perfect?” You whined to yourself, kicking your feet, “why do you have to make me feel this way?” You whispered to yourself, gulping and looking at the medicines and a bowl of soup on the nightstand. 
You didn’t realize that you were wearing Jeno’s clothes till you spilled a little drop of soup on it, eyes widening for the nth time today as you gasped. 
You couldn’t stay anymore, you got up and rushed to grab your clothes, which were folded neatly before you changed into them with a rush, getting out of his room while you checked your phone, bumping into a hard chest. 
You winced, looking up as your expression dropped. 
Na Jaemin stood there, his eyes sad as he searched your face for some kind of emotion, any kind of emotion, however you didn’t give him anything, choosing to walk away but he was quick to grab your wrist. 
“Y/n,” he spoke your name in desperation and you tried your best not to turn around, yet you did, looking at his regret stricken face as he spoke further, “I broke up with Linda,” he started and you almost snorted. 
“Well, good for you,” you said, turning around yet again, only to be stopped. 
“Don’t fucking do this, Y/n,” he breathes, eyes watery, “I know you and Jeno aren’t dating. Come back to me, baby, I regret everything I did to you, please?” He almost begs. 
“Don’t call me that,” you seethed out, “you know nothing about us and it’s too late, Jaemin. I don’t want you.”
He didn’t let you leave, pulling you into a hug as you struggled to get away, “I know you’re angry and you don’t mean it. Let’s be together again, we used to be so happy,” he whispered. 
“And you fucking ruined it,” you cried out, pushing him away, “you ruined everything and you never cared about us! But y’know what? Jeno isn’t like you. He’s kind, caring and he’s genuine about everything,” you let out, stepping away, “I love him.” 
Saying that out loud felt like you had lifted a boulder off your chest. Your face was equally surprised as Jaemin, but you didn’t stay any longer, shaking your head as you rushed out of the apartment and got into the safety of your own dorm. 
You loved Jeno. 
And you were sure he didn’t feel the same, it was all fake for him. You sat in your bathtub for hours, pondering and mentally slapping yourself for letting this happen but it was beyond you. Jeno was so easy to love. 
What scared you the most that he hadn’t called you once, nor did he reply to any of your texts throughout the day. Your heart broke into pieces when he didn’t show up in front of your dorm to pick you up. 
You were sure he hated you for drunkenly acting up that night, maybe that’s why he kept avoiding you. You had ruined everything. 
The plan for the day wasn’t to attend the classes, but to find Jeno. Every second that passed by without him talking to you felt like a punishment, as if your anxiety would eat you up through and through. 
He wasn’t by the lawns, he wasn’t in the cafeteria and you could feel your eyes welling up with tears of frustration when you couldn’t find Jeno. Yet you didn’t lose hope as you thought that he’d be in his lectures. 
A big smile etched your face when you found him standing in front of his locker and you sprinted his way, which startled him. It was as if he didn’t expect to see you in front of him, his eyes leaving yours for a second before he smiled at you. 
It was forced. 
“Jeno,” you breathed out as you felt fidgety, “can we talk?” 
He bit his lower lip, not answering for a few seconds before he nodded, guiding you towards the rooftop for privacy, not uttering a word throughout the way. 
You stood side by side, watching the cloudy sky as he finally looked your way, “congratulations,” he let out, trying to smile. 
You looked at him, confused which only made him speak further. 
“I saw you and Jaemin hugging,” his voice broke but he gained his composure, “I know you’re probably back together now and you don’t need me—”
“Jeno,” you whispered, shaking your head as you stepped closer to stop him, yet he continued. 
“We don’t have to fake date anymore,” he nodded, looking at his feet, “I’m glad I could help you forget about him for some time and also with your revenge—”
You were on the verge of crying by now as you whispered his name again. 
“I’m so stupid to have thought that maybe it won’t be fake, but I know you want Jaemin—”
“Don’t you fucking see that I want you? Jaemin and I talked, yes we did and I told him I don’t want him. I don’t fucking want him, Jeno. You’re not a rebound to me, This isn’t fake to me anymore, I don’t think it ever felt fake to me,” you let out your frustrations, shutting him up fully. 
“My heart feels like it would beat out of my chest every fucking time I’m near you, this longing intensifies each day and it scares me so much,” a crystalline tear escaped your eyes and Jeno was quick to cup your face, as if on instinct and wipe it away, “you do this sweet things no one ever did for me, you remember the smallest details about me and I feel restless when we don’t talk. I’ve grown so used to being around you, it’s not fucking fake. I think—I’m falling in love with you Jeno,” you finally let out. 
“You—you love me?” He asks, voice barely a whisper as he finds it hard to breathe and you nod, his slender fingers still cupping your cheek, “you hugged Jaemin—”
“I pushed him away,” you said in a beat, “he hugged me, I didn’t,” you assured him, grabbing his hand which rested on your cheek, “I told him I love you.”
Jeno pulled you in his embrace, his body shook slightly which broke your heart thinking how he had it all wrong, you never wanted to see him hurt, just like how he always wished for you to be happy. 
He held you tighter, making you feel safe as warmth bloomed up your chest, “I liked you ever since I saw you painting with Renjun on the day we met, but Jaemin was faster to reach out to you,” he confesses and you part your mouth with surprise as he leaned back to look at you, chuckling ever so lightly, “I hated how he treated you but when you came to me for help, I got selfish and used this to get closer to you, even if it meant that I’d have to fake date you,” he muttered, pressing his forehead against yours, “but I fell harder each day, even more so when I had to hold your hand and it felt so small against mine yet it fit perfectly, when you dressed up so beautifully for a fake date with me, when you looked so adorable in my jacket, when you remembered my birthday and my likes which even I hadn’t noticed before. I fell in love with you, baby,” he smiled through the tears as you pulled him in for a kiss, both of you smiling uncontrollably as it full of tenderness and affection, your hearts beating together as you shared unspoken promises through it. 
You weren’t fake dating anymore as you looked at him with a silly smile, taking the document of your agreement out before scratching out a line. 
Rule number one: Don’t fall in love. 
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THANK YOU FOR READING
dedicated to @jayzdaze just like i promised <3
TAGS: @celeste-hoon @ddeonuism @angleticaaa @girlwholovekpop
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konniesreality · 10 months ago
Text
There is always two sides to a coin and you’re choosing tails.
(void state post)
you are victimizing yourself. whether you like it, or not. You complain that you can’t enter the void, you whine and cry and you send thousands of asks to bloggers for help. stop victimizing yourself and expect something magical to help you get into the void. Do the inner work.
okay, i seriously have no idea how many times i have to repeat this. i have been repeatedly saying this so many times, yet it goes in one ear and out the other. please, for the love of everything divinely possible, stop over complicating the void state!
It is NOT HARD. You make it seem hard because that is YOUR ASSUMPTION! And I know that you are tired of hearing that, but this applies to everything in life. We are always manifesting unconsciously and consciously, and there is nothing we can do about it. How do you expect to get into the void if you keep telling yourself that you can’t?
it makes absolutely no sense. Do a method that is comfortable for you. Don’t do things because other people are doing it. If you don’t like a method, or a certain position, then do the void state how you want to! You like yoga nidra? Perfect. Do that then. But you don’t like affirming “I am in the void state” while doing the lullaby method? Okay. Just affirm “broccoli” and boom you are in the void. Why? Because you assumed it would work for you.
I get countless asks of people saying things like, “I worked on my self concept, but I didn’t enter the void state” NO SH*T SHERLOCK!! That’s what you told yourself!! I’m sure if you were actually a void master, you wouldn’t come into peoples asks complaining that YOU CANT DO IT!!
the void state is genuinely easy. It’s you. And it can be achieved so easily if you would persist and tell yourself it’s easy. so many of the success stories you see are people doing this thing: finding what works for them.
here is the thing: you can do it. You are just telling yourself that you cant. The biggest reason you guys aren’t entering the void, is your lack of persistence.
going back to the title, you could have been ONE second away from entering the void, but you complained like usual and rolled over. You guys aren’t focusing on the void state while attempting. You’re focusing on your body, symptoms, “am I doing this right, ugh my body hurts, did I choose the right subliminal” LIKE NO!! That’s why you aren’t entering the void like cmon now. Isn’t this obvious?!
focus on the black behind your eyes and relax. focus on your affirmations or whatever you’re doing. think about you getting your dream life, and use that happiness to persist in the void state. find what works for you. stop complaining and going into mine and bloggers asks complaining the void doesn’t work for you.
going back to the title, there are 2 sides to a coin. And you guys are choosing tails. instead of “I’m tired and don’t wanna affirm anymore” say “I’m so happy I’m in the void, my dream life is here!”
stop being a victim in your own reality and step it up!! I hope this post gave you a wake up call and reality check because oh boy, y’all need it.
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successfulgoddess333 · 8 months ago
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MY LONG AWAITED SUCCESS STORY PLUS RANT/YALL NEED THIS STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING AND READ
First things first
I’m tired of being nice
I have took time out of MY day to help you guys
EVERY DAY
I have given tips methods
Advice answered questions
Replied to countless amounts of DMs
Etc etc I’m not providing false hope here I AM trying to help you guys
I’m getting so many different suggestions and asks
Let me say this
STOP
from now on
No more questions
If it’s urgent
Like you really wanna know something
DM me
I WILL respond
No more questions asking how to enter the void
My account is literally talking about HOW TO ENTER THE VOID STATE
Are instructions not clear?????
Get off your butt and fucking do it!!!!
Stop procrastinating stop being lazy stop asking questions you spreads know the answers to
And for the love of God
STOP ASKING ME TO ENTER FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!
I’m doing what I can to help you all manifest
But it’s YOUR job to make it happen
Y’all used my kindness against me and it’s pissing me off I’m tired of people not even asking anymore
Just begging me
I AM NOT A MAGICIAN
I was literally YOU
not too long ago
I am a nice person but I am at my limits
Stop repeating questions
Look at my page for the answers you need
Stop asking me to enter for you
If it’s not happening
DM me for ADVICE
I used to be the kid that got asked by others to do their homework for them
If I didn’t put my foot down
Y’all were gonna drive me insane
Literally
I love y’all but stop depending on me
Just ask
For advice
But stop treating me like a Genie
And I manifested for someone and it doesn’t work
Then what
Am I a liar now???
Am I fake??
Like are you serious
Bruh I’m serious when I say
I’ve had enough
Read this story to see how YOU CAN ALSO
Transform your life
I literally went from
TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️
I went from slitting my own wrists and going in my closet trying to hang myself EVERY FUCKING NIGHT
I used to stare in the mirror
Crying about how my body looked
I used to go to school scared because I was getting abused by guys there and bullied by girls
All my friends turned their backs on me and I literally said
FUCK IT
I don’t deserve this fucking life so you know what I did????
I changed it
It’s so easy it’s insane
I too over complicated it
I too was desperate
But your desires are yours
They just are
Ignore them MF negative thoughts
Matter of a fact don’t even call it that
You are giving your “intrusive” thoughts power by saying they are negative
Don’t label them as intrusive thoughts
THEY DO NOT EXIST
THEY WILL NEVER MANIFEST
And I’m not just saying that it’s true
It’s soooo fucking true
By labeling them as “intrusive” or “negative” you’re giving them power
To take over and control your life
When this is not what you want
Don’t fear your own head
Bitch it’s YOUR BRAIN
It can’t NOT listen to you
Change your goddamn assumptions
You are a bad bitch you’re hot beautiful
You’re THAT bitch
Bad bitches don’t beg we make shit happen
Get off your cute ass and go get your dream fucking life
Bitch you can have it all
You can marry Shawn Mendez
Be the sexiest model on the planet (but you’re only 5’3) OK ANDDDDD
Marissa Rose is the first 4’11 runway model
You mean to tell me it’s not possible???
They have plus size models
Shirt models
Models with tig ol biddies
Models with tattoos models with piercings models with scars etc
ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE
You can get a call back from that job
Better yet fuck 9 to 5s
Bitch YOU ARE RICH
You are literally Jeff Bezos
Don’t manifest “small shit” cuz if you can get an apartment and a job
You can also manifest $100 million and 2500 square feet mansion
You can have superpowers
You can be a master manifestor
You can become a celebrity and overnight
You can meet your favorite celebrities at awards shows
You can sit next to Ice Spice at the Grammys
EVEN SHE MANIFESTED HER DREAM LIFE
There’s proof in her old tweets and in your interviews
YOU CAN HAVE HARRY STYLES TICKETS FOR WHENEVER HE DECIDES TO DROP AN ALBUM
YOU CAN BE THE NEXT BEYONCÉ
YOU CAN MEET OR EVEN PERFORM WITH TAYLOR SWIFT
YOU CAN HAVE ALL THE MONEY YOU WANT
YOU CAN SHIFT TO ANOTHER REALITY AND MEET MICHAEL JACKSON
YOU CAN HAVE THE SINGING VOICE OF AALIYAH OR MF MARIAH CAREY
YOU CAN MANIFEST THAT YOUR DOG NEVER DIED OR THAT
YOUR EX STILL MISSES YOU
KANYE WEST MANIFESTED KIM K
TOM HOLLAND MANIFESTED ZENDAYA
YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU CANT HAVE
MICHAEL B JORDAN WAITING ON YOU HAND AND FOOT????
YOU CAN ENTER THE VOID MANIFEST YOUR Sp
AND WAKE UP NEXT TO YOUR CRUSH
YOU CAN MANIFEST BEING IMMUNE TO BAD SHIT BEING A GODDESS BEING SO BEAUTIFUL THAT PEOPLE FORGET MEGAN FOX EXISTS
YOU CAN MANIFEST LOOKING LIKE MARILYN MONROE
OR MADISON BEER
YOU CAN MANIFEST TALENT
BITCH ITS ALL POSSIBLE
You OWN THIS SHIT THIS IS YOUR LIFE BOO
Go fucking get it!!!!!!!
SUCCESS STORY
I was tired of own shit so I used the method that I created
I already posted it
Go read it
Here’s what I manifested
1. SP
I manifested a girlfriend because I’m bisexual asf
And I created her on my phone
Just write if list of what she looks and acts like
I manifested my dream career
I manifested platonic SPs
As in friendships
Money
A strong intuition
More knowledge
A better self concept
Immunity
The ability to hypnotize with my eyes(OK I HAVENT TESTED THIS OUT BUT IM EXCITED TO)
Meeting a celebrity
Can’t say who but I manifested it for the future
I even got pets now!!! A puppy two kittens and two snakes!!
I manifested lots of cool talents
I improved my dancing!!!!!!
I was insecure about my voice
So I changed it
Deadass I sound kinda sexy now
I wanted a whispery ass voice😭😭
So I got oneeee
I also manifested a LOT of personal stuff that I won’t share
Unfortunately I’m SUPER protective of my soul and just overall self
And I’m not posting a face reveal
This might seem surprising to most
My passive aggressive behavior but this is literally how I am daily
I really am nice but y’all just make me ANXIOUS
But still
I love you darlings soooo much
Like for real
But please just pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Don’t make me your wish granter
Make your own wishes come true
If it’s cool with y’all
I’ll manifest tonight
That entering the void will be easy for you guys
But you HAVE to do it yourself I can only guide you
You got this babe
If you got offended it’s working
That means you needed this
Take this tough love and go use it for good
I better see some goddamn success stories this month or we gon fight
(Not literally that’s just my humor talking)
Love you bitches
Now go meditate before I appear under your bed tonight and yank yo shit
Love youuuu💗💗💗💗💗
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moremaybank · 1 year ago
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I would just like to say that s2/3 Rafe OR Trevor from Hellraiser is absolutely the kind of guy to slap your hand away as he’s fucking your brains out in missionary.
Like it’s just becoming a lot and you can’t deal and the hand on his abdomen is to give him some kind of hint but he’s not having it 😵‍💫😵‍💫 he’s so lost in how good you feel but he also needs you to feel him.
“You can take it, baby, I know you can.. fuckin’ know you can, don’t try to move me. Keep givin’ me this pussy, I know you can take it”
genie, baby, how could you do this to me? (please keep doing it). 18+, mdni.
Rafe's going in for the kill, overpowering every one of your senses, and it's so, so good, but so mind-boggling at the same time; how much pleasure he can provide you with, free of remorse once you’re completely exhausted.
It doesn’t matter how many times he makes you cum, he always wants for more. And he’ll get it.
That’s for damn sure.
"Don't you wanna make daddy proud, princess? You're doing so well for me. You can do this, I know it."
"I-I can't, feels too good," you whine.
He ignores you, too wrapped up in the way your warm, wet pussy is encasing his cock. He's too lost in how you feel around him and it's hard for him to even catch his breath.
Your manicured hand strokes down his sternum, down to the indentations of his abs, pushing at him and trying to get him to slow down and take it easy on you.
“Please, daddy. Don’t think I can take it anymore,”
“‘Course you can,” he assures you. “You can take it, baby, I know you can. Don’t try to move me. Don’t fight it. Keep givin’ me this pussy, I know you can take it.”
He yanks the hand you have plastered on his abdomen and pushes it beside your head, restraining you as he now towers completely over your body. He leans on his elbows and his fingers intertwine with yours as he slips into you deeper.
“Rafe,” you plead.
Tears are flowing down your heated cheeks, and your legs begin to quiver as you get closer and closer to cumming again. All other thoughts have left your brain. All you have on your mind is him.
Rafe’s nose nudges your jaw, and he shakes his head.
“Uh uh. What’s my name in here, baby?”
“Daddy,” you sob. “Please.”
“Fuck, keep crying. Gettin’ so fuckin’ close. Look at those tears. So goddamn pretty.”
Your sore and exhausted walls begin to squeeze at him, almost cutting off his circulation as you fall over the edge. Your moans mix with your cries for him, and it’s heavenly.
Like music to his ears.
“Shit, gonna fill you up. Such a good girl for me. So fuckin’ proud of my girl.”
concepts
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