#like i used to be SUPER into it as a little baby middle schooler

[raetreaderarts]

now that i like women ive gained an appreciation for nastasia (when i was younger i was super into count bleck so its funny how my tastes have shifted from him to his secretary lmao)

also a little bonus comic of my oc being a mega simp

[just-another-author-i-guess]

More Judd smut?

More Judd smut yay (,:

Tags: fem! Reader, porn with a little plot?, what the fuck is hormone monster dialogue, everyone is horny fr, Nick and Andrew are creeps, but also scared of Judd, and very curious, questionable babysitting?, smoking, participating in the act of “getting stoned”, smoking inside, use of the word simp un-ironically, Judd gives super useless dating advice, not so safe sex, please use protection! please do not read if you’re uncomfortable with smut(,:

Summary: you and Judd are the designated babysitters for the night.

Read my OG Judd story? Here

Author’s note: hi gang (,: I remember when I was like “mental illness funny haha” but it’s really not funny anymore 🥹 I know I disappear all the time,, and I don’t even wanna apologize this time lol. But anyways, this has been brewing in my docs for like MONTHS and now I’ve come back, humbly offering you another Judd smut since the other one is surprisingly popular. Eat well, my children

The one where Judd gives dating advice

4,4K words

(Note, Judd is so cute and I love him :,)

“I don’t care about those horny little shits, I’m just saying they’re old enough to fuck off and do whatever they want. I don’t want my pissstain of a brother hanging around you, your sister is also fucking weird—“ 

You gently elbowed him. “—You’re fucking weird, Judd. And the kids aren’t really that bad, you’re a bit dramatic, babe,” you said, and he angrily grumbled something in response as he slammed the microwave shut. The microwave made a noise, and you watched the third batch of popcorn slowly expand and start to pop. 

Unfortunately for Judd, your parents had collectively decided to go out the day you had promised him a date. Mr and Mrs Birch got a coupon for a recently opened Thai restaurant and decided to invite yours, Missy’s and Andrew’s parents out for dinner, making you the designated babysitter of the night. Leah had ditched the whole ordeal, and Judd was planning to ditch as well until you sent him a picture of your tits and told him he could still come over if he behaved. 

With Maury clouding his judgement, there was no fucking way he could say no to that. 

So now, he was stuck making popcorn for a bunch of middle schoolers. Not to mention he had a pretty bad track record with the kids, they were all absolutely terrified of him. Except of course Jessie, who was deeply in love with him. He grunted in annoyance, turning around to face you with his arms crossed over his chest. 

He had been muttering complaints under his breath ever since you started setting up for the movie. He was absolutely livid that the kids stole away his one-on-one private time with his girlfriend, but for you (and your boobs) he tried to somewhat restrain himself. 

“Judd, baby, look at me,” you stepped out in front of him, reaching up and gently rubbing his cheek, forcing his attention on you. “I know this is not ideal. But, if you play nice, I have a little something for you when the kids go to bed,” you purred, leaning up to kiss his cheek.

He grabbed your waist, kneading the soft flesh in his big hands. Even though he looked intimidating as all hell, not to mention he absolutely towered over you, he was wrapped around your pinky finger. 

He leaned down and buried his face in your neck. “It better be good, slut..” he grunted, brushing his lips over your neck. You slapped the back of his head, feeling him frown against your skin. “I said behave, bitch-boy.” Your tone was sharp, and he knew not to push you any further. 

“Fine, alright. Whatever.” He grumbled, hugging you closer to his body. 

-

It was precisely 7’oclock when the kids arrived. Jessie was still in her room, not wanting to hang out with you and Judd alone; she had refused to come out after your parents left. 

Surprisingly, Judd was the first at the door. He grinned evilly. “Welcome to purgatory, you little shits.” He said, looking down at the 8th graders menacingly. “Bitch! Your sister's dumb friends are here!” He called over his shoulder. 

You huffed audibly. “Are you gonna let them in or what, numbnuts?” You called back to him, pouring the last packet of popcorn into a bowl. 

He frowned and stepped aside, letting the now pretty frightened kids inside. Missy walked in first, smiling nervously at Judd, then came Andrew and Nick. 

Nick was about to step inside, when Judd put a hand on his shoulder. The younger boy stopped dead in his tracks, praying to whatever god he could think of that his brother would let him off easy. “I didn’t do anything! Judd, I swear, please let me go!” He shouted, voice breaking multiple times.

A ghost of a smirk crossed Judd’s face. “Don’t try shit, or I will rip your tiny dick off and force it down your throat. Got it, asslicker?” 

Nick swallowed thickly, frantically nodding his head. Of course Judd had picked up on his brother's crush on you, as if it wasn’t the most obvious thing in the world. 

“Y-You got it, Judd!” He confirmed, panicked chuckles escaping him. 

“Judd. Let him inside.” You stomped up to them, looking so livid you scared Judd back into being nice as you crossed your arms over your chest. Nick looked away quickly, a pink flush covering his face and neck. 

Judd pushed Nick inside with a frown, once again not being able to refuse you. The kids looked on in bewilderment as the intimidating teen seemed to slightly cower under your glare, complying to your will. He looked down at them with something akin to shame, before following after you like a lost puppy.

The kids were in complete shock. Had Judd been fucking possesed?

You called out to Jessie, telling her to come out of her room, before dragging Judd back into the kitchen. 

-

“Y/nnn! Can you start the movie already?” Jessie whined loudly.

A bit of shuffling could be heard in the kitchen. ”I-In a minute! We’re just fixing some drinks!” You called out, voice slightly shaky.

“.. do you really think they’re getting drinks?” Missy asked, after an agonising minute of silence. The kids sat stiffly on the couch. 

You had told them to make themselves at home, but none of them were able to really calm down with Judd in the house. 

Jessie scoffed. “Does it sound like they’re getting drinks? My sister's kind of a slut if you haven’t noticed.” She spat. 

Nick rolled his eyes. “So is Judd.” 

The two of them weren’t able to get over their jealousy of your relationship, somehow not yet registering that they didn’t stand a chance with high schoolers. 

“Come on guys, that’s not a very nice thing to say,” Missy said nervously, glancing at the kitchen door. 

“Jessie, do you think it’s possible I can get a glass of milk? I feel very dehydrated right now,” Andrew muttered, wringing his hands. 

Jessie sighed and Nick immediately began explaining in detail how Judd would murder him. But ultimately, after a long and intense discussion, the kids decided to venture into the kitchen.

-

“You promised to be nice,” You said over your shoulder, holding Judd’s hand as you pulled him to the kitchen. 

“I am nice.” He huffed, letting go of your hand and instead reaching out to grab your waist. He gently lifted you, setting you down on the counter top before stepping in between your legs. For a moment you thought he would lead it somewhere, but your face morphed into a gentle smile when he buried his face in your neck, hands gently rubbing up and down your sides. 

You softly stroked his hair, making the angry agent of chaos visibly relax as he melted into your touch. “You didn’t even last ten seconds,” You muttered, immediately recognizing his actions as jealousy.

He breathed out against your neck, and you couldn’t help but softly laugh at the tingly feeling. “It was nice enough for me to make the popcorn, do you want me to fucking hand feed them too?” He grumbled, straightening up so he could glare down at you. 

You rolled your eyes. “Calm down there, Mr. grumpy-pants. All I ask is that you remain civil for the night, or at least until the movie’s over,” You gave him your very best puppy dog eyes, reaching up to gently brush your hands over his jaw again. Reluctantly, he leaned into your touch, fighting to keep his angry glare. 

Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t deny how absolutely soft he was for you. Your touch calmed him like no other, not even horror movies or tormenting the neighbourhood made him feel as gleeful as when you touched him. 

He hummed in response, not really registering what you said, too focused on your touch. His own hands travelled from your waist to your thighs, gently squeezing. You let out a soft little sigh and instantly Maury appeared. 

‘What? What’d I miss? You’re gonna fuck?’ The hormone monster asked, observing the situation. ‘Oooh! You should totally have a quickie, let’s see how many fingers you can stuff in her before the kids find out!’ He grinned, shaking Judd by the shoulders.

“Shut the fuck up.” Judd growled, making Maury let out a series of horse laughs. ‘Oh ho ho ho! At least get a good feel of her boob, we need something to get through the movie!’ He said dramatically, before patting Judd’s head and walking off in search of new entertainment. 

Judd thought about it for a moment, before slowly sliding his right hand up your tummy until he could palm one of your tits. 

“Judd,” You said, placing your hand over the one he had on your chest, but not removing it. “You gotta behave, alright? Just for tonight. And you can touch aaall you want after, I promise,” You said, finishing the sentence with a long kiss to his cheek. 

“Fuck. Okay, fine.” He relented, removing his hand from your boob and intertwining his fingers with yours instead. He leaned in, pressing a series of wet kisses to your jaw and neck. 

You hummed happily, half closing your eyes until you caught movement somewhere over Judd’s shoulders. You immediately straightened up, opening your eyes fully only to make eye contact with four completely stupefied middle schoolers. 

The kids were too stunned to speak, literally.

Andrew was stammering incoherently, Nick seemed to find the ceiling very interesting, Missy and Jessi had both turned completely red in face but for very different reasons. 

“Oh. Hello,” You said awkwardly, pushing Judd away and jumping off the counter quickly. 

Your boyfriend in question let out a disappointed grunt, murderously glaring down the kids but keeping quiet. You all stood in complete silence for a few, agonisingly long seconds, until Andrew finally spoke up.

Still wringing his hands, the preteen stepped slightly closer to you. “Y/n, I’m very sorry to interrupt. But could I maybe get a glass of milk? It would really help with my nervous stomach—“ You cut him off before he could go into further detail about his digestive system and smiled warmly at him. 

“—Of course. Why don’t you follow Judd back into the living room, he’ll start the movie for you and then I’ll be right out. Okay?”   

If looks could kill, you’d be six feet under. 

Judd bore holes through your back with his eyes, as you turned to open the fridge. “O-okay! Once again, thank you Y/n,” Andrew said, seemingly relieved.

Slowly the kids turned to walk out the kitchen, drizzling out one after the other. Jessi bore a somewhat mischievous smile, walking a bit slower on purpose in hopes she could walk next to Judd. Your boyfriend sighed heavily, uncrossing his arms and following after the kids. He was slowly coming to realise that he had no other choice, than to be a slave for a gang of middle schoolers. 

The kids were again stiffly seated on the couch, this time with Judd sitting in the far end. Jessie had glued herself to his side, shamelessly sitting as close to him as possible. He was sure he would accidentally hit her if he moved his arm just the slightest.

He was holding the remote, quickly flicking through movies on netflix as the kids fought over what to watch. 

“Shut the fuck up.” He barked. “I’ll find you a good movie,” And by “good movie'' he meant the absolutely goriest horror flick netflix had to offer. 

Judd grinned sinisterly as he chose a movie, looking over to see the kids all sporting comically shocked expressions. 

Andrew carefully glanced at Judd. “Excuse me, Judd, but are you sure this movie is suitable for children?” He asked. 

“Y-yeah. Doesn’t that say you have to be sixteen..? My mom said I shouldn’t watch scary movies until I feel ready,” Missy added.

Nick didn’t say anything. He was scared enough of his brother already to disagree openly with him, and he also didn’t want to seem like a wimp in front of Jessi. 

“It’s about time you little pussies grow up. Be quiet and just watch the fucking movie,” Judd said, as mischievously as his monotone voice would allow him to sound. 

Jessi nodded gravely. “Yeah, guys. Shut up. It’s just a movie,” She said, looking up at Judd with big eyes for approval. He only grunted, pressing start on the remote. 

Within the first few minutes, Andrew and Nick were clinging to each other. Missy was curled in on herself, watching the movie through her spread fingers. Judd grinned evilly, satisfied with his choice as he started digging through his pockets.

He was quick to dig up a lighter and half a blunt. A bloody jumpscare in the movie made Jessi jerk and grab onto Judd’s arm, slightly shaking. He sighed deeply, annoyed, but let it slide. He lit the blunt, throwing his feet up on the coffee table and tilting his head back as he inhaled deeply. 

“Judd, I told you not to smoke inside,” You grumbled, returning to the living room with drinks and even more popcorn. Judd raised his head slightly, cocking an eyebrow at you. “Shut up,” He simply said, gesturing to the way Jessi was clinging to him. 

You had to stifle a laugh, quickly setting the snacks on the coffee table and handing the milk to Andrew, who reached out to take it with a shaky hand, refusing to look at the tv.

Upon noticing the lack of space on the couch, Judd beckoned you to his lap. You happily sat down, Jessi giving you a disturbed look as your body gently pushed hers away. 

“What the hell are we even watching?” You asked, Judd shrugged. “Dunno. Summer camp massacre something,” He said, handing you the blunt as you got comfortable on his lap. 

You took a long drag, nuzzling into Judd as his hands came down to hold your waist, pulling you closer to him. “Guys,” Missy suddenly whispered, eyes glued to you and Judd. “Is that.. Marijuana.. As in drugs?”

Judd chuckled, you could feel him move beneath you as you struggled to keep from laughing yourself. 

You said the only appropriate answer you could scrape from your brain; “Well.. Yeah.” 

Missy’s eyes grew to sorcerers. “You can’t do that! Marijuana is a gateway drug! It could mess up your brain- Oh fudge! It could mess up my brain from inhaling secondhand!” 

This time you couldn’t conceal your giggle, handing the blunt back to Judd as you leaned forward. You smiled softly at the younger. “Don’t worry about it, Missy. You’re way too smart to be corrupted by secondhand smoke,” You said. Missy nodded reluctantly, a small smile appearing on her face as she accepted the compliment.

“Mom will actually kill you,” Jessi mumbled and you fondly ruffled her hair. “She won’t if you keep your mouth shut.” You teased, as she scowled at you. Her eyes quickly left yours, to blatantly stare at Judd as he blew clouds of smoke out his nose. He truly looked like an angry dragon, staring at the movie screen with furrowed brows. 

Jessi went bright red, looking away immediately when Judd turned to meet her gaze. You grinned, ruffling her hair again before relaxing back into your boyfriend. Judd gave another annoyed grumble, but soon relaxed himself. 

Somehow, the kids managed to be quiet for the duration of the movie as you finished the blunt and most of the snacks.

Jessi fell asleep against you, having ended up clutching your hand for safety (probably from the masked killer on screen). Missy fell asleep against Andrew, the two huddled in a pile. Nick had slid down from the couch, attempting to hide from the movie but ending up sleeping under the coffee table.

By the time credits came on screen, you and Judd were the only ones awake. Pleasantly hazy from the smoke session, you turned your head to smile at him.

“You were so good. I like nice Judd,” You muttered, leaning up to press a soft, slow kiss to his lips. 

He immediately deepened the kiss, claiming his price. In a horny daze, his hands migrated to your butt and his tongue invaded your mouth. You sighed, a bit too loudly and let your own hands wander. Over his shoulders, rubbing down his chest and abdomen till eventually they rested just over his belt. 

The hiss that escaped him as your hands pressed to his crotch, definitely did not go unnoticed and you responded in kind by moving from his lips, messily gliding wet kisses down his jaw and neck. You bit him playfully, but still hard enough to leave indents in his perfectly smooth neck. 

‘Oooh, baby!’ Right on time, Connie appeared at your side. She purred like a cat, curling around you and Judd on the couch. ‘Why don’t you hurry and jump right on up on that delicious dick of his? You know he can make you feel reeeeeaaaal good,’ She drawled.

Barely acknowledging her, you dumbly nodded in agreement. 

‘Hurry, dumpling! Don’t got much time before the kiddies wake up,’ She urged you, poking Jessi with a long fingernail, and indeed, your sister was starting to stir. 

You could only let out a frustrated huff. Judd had your hair fisted in one hand and your hip clutched tightly in the other, helping you rut yourself against his growing bulge in long, hazy strokes. He felt good, you felt good, everything felt so, so good and moving away from the heavenly friction could not be more of a bother. 

You leaned forward a bit, which came with resistance considering his tight grip on your hair, and whined lowly in his ear. 

Gently, you nosed at his cheek. “Judd.. the kitchen. C’mon,” You breathed.

He retaliated by grinding up into you, much harder than before, allowing you to feel the entirety of his now, very hard, length. You moaned loudly in response. 

“We need to.. the kitchen— they’re waking up,” It was a difficult task to form the right words, with the increased amount of pleasure, so you scratched his shoulders, gently, to get your point across. 

Leaning in, he captured your lips in a hard kiss, licking into your mouth with such fervour your head was spinning. He let go, biting down on your bottom lip and dragging it back before pulling away completely. 

“Stupid fucking kids,” He gritted, tongue swiping over his lips, plump from kissing. 

Heaving, you bit your bottom lip and batted your eyelashes at him in a most sultry display that was sure to make Connie proud. A sinister grin spread across his face, when he got an idea and he let go of your hair in favour of kneading your ass in both his hands.

“I’ll fuck you on the table, slut, be grateful.” It was a demand, but you didn’t mind because right at that moment, nothing truly sounded more pleasing than getting railed on the dining table in your mothers kitchen. 

A shudder went through you at the thought, warmth slushing in your belly and still, you grinned coyly at him. “Only because you were so well behaved. I’m starting to think you actually like them, Juddy-Wuddy?” You said, motioning to the four kids as you cooed at him. 

You got him with that one. Watching with glee as his jaw clenched and he sent you a look that could only mean one of two things; he was going to kill you or plow you until you could no longer walk. You highly suspected the latter.

Your boyfriend scoffed. “It’s almost cute how damn smart you think you are, huh? You fucking bitch.” He glowered. He despised when you called him that, one of the many terrible nicknames you had overheard his mom call him, and he always fell right into your trap. 

Before you could start to respond, he was rising from the couch, hands manoeuvring under your thighs to lift you up with him. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, legs tighter around his waist to keep his clothed cock pressed up against your core, and nuzzled your face into his neck. 

His hands were warm on your thighs, so big they almost covered them entirely when he spread his fingers. You latched onto his neck again, engraving lots of little purple marks, just how he liked it. 

His response came as a strained grunt, as he barreled into the kitchen and dropped you on the corner dining table. 

The table was cold, you squealed as your thighs dragged along the cool surface and Judd wasted no time, leaning over you and pushing your skirt up to expose your panties. 

A sinister grin spread across his face when he found your panties were already damp and soaked, his award for being a prime example of a boyfriend this evening.

You bucked your hips, mewling for attention and hoping he would be quick to relieve you of the throbbing between your thighs. 

He laughed, low and husky as he watched you writhe on the table beneath him. Your lips were swollen and plump, a deep blush covered your cheeks and your hair was messily spread out over the table’s surface. His dick ached.

‘Boi-oi-oi-oing!’ Maury was right behind him, a wild smile split his face and he let his tongue hang out, looking more like a rabid dog than a hormone monster. 

‘C’mon! Shove your fist inside her, she obviously wants it!’ Maury barked, shaking Judd by the shoulders. The teen shook him off, grumbling a threat as he returned to the task at hand. 

You heaved in a breath, tongue coming out to wet your lips again. “Judd, I swear to god, do something—“ You pleaded, desperately. 

“— have patience. And shut the fuck up.” Judd grunted, long fingers creeping towards the wet patch on your panties. Then, he pressed down, right in the middle of the wetness where your much neglected clit sat.

Gasping, you reached out to grasp his bicep. He pressed down again, keeping his thump there and swirling it in circles. You gasped and whined his name softly, the wet fabric glided over your most sensitive part so well it was hard to think about keeping quiet. 

He was quick to silence you with a kiss, however, as his left hand finally, finally, left the wet patch to pull your panties off. You helped him shake them off, too focused with the cool air blowing on your hot core to notice how he crumbled up your panties and stuffed them in his back pocket. 

You begged for him again, whines disappearing into his open mouth as he kept it slotted over yours. 

He shushed you, putting his weight on his right hand as he leaned in further between your legs, suddenly stuffing two fingers into you, in one smooth motion. You cried out so loudly and desperately that not even Judd’s wet kisses could conceal it, he gave you another rough thrust of his fingers in retaliation.

Your eyes were half closed, lips forming an ‘o’ as he pulled away from your mouth to bite at your neck. His fingers reached a depth that your own could not, hitting a softer, mushier spot in your pussy that had you seeing stars each time. He was so rough with his thrusts too, working quickly and effectively to bring you to ecstasy and making the table rattle slightly. You could only pray that the slight scraping on the tiled kitchen floor could not be heard in the living room.

What was much louder, however, were your own loud gasps and breathy moans of your boyfriend's name. The closer you got, the louder your pleas became. 

Judd bit your neck again, hard enough to turn the skin purple. “I said, be quiet, bitch.” He groaned into your neck, panting slightly as the pace of his hand increased. 

You tried, but really couldn’t. The lewd squelching sound and the rapid stroking of his two fingers against your g-spot had you mewling and bucking against him. And it certainly didn’t help, when his thumb pressed down on your clit as well. 

His slender fingers didn’t create much of a stretch, but you knew he was preparing you for his monstrous cock and because his fingers were so deliciously long the waiting time was never disappointing. 

You could vaguely hear Connie bustling about in the background, shouting her encouragement and coaxing you to tell Judd all sorts of lewd things. You didn’t listen, you couldn’t when you were so, so close to your breaking point. 

With your body on fire, liquid pleasure in your veins, your toes curled and you tilted your head to allow Judd better access to the unmarked parts of it. He graciously took the opportunity, returning his grip on your head to position you just how he wanted.

Your thighs clenched around Judd’s arm, lip trembling as your eyes crossed in pleasure. “Judd..!” 

And then he was pulling away, you whined desperately in the process, only to be silenced with a large hand slapped across your mouth. 

“I told you to be quiet, bitch.” He snarled, his voice now so deep and feral it made you shiver. He squeezed your cheeks together, a bit of drool escaped your mouth and smeared on his hand, as he pulled you to a sitting position. “Didn’t I?”

Your pussy throbbed, clenching around nothing at both the rough treatment and being so suddenly void of stimulation. 

With your cheeks squished together, you couldn’t respond, so you opted for frantically nodding your head, softly whining out for him. You needed him inside you, and it had to be now. 

You rutted yourself against the table, slick following you and making a trail on the wooden surface, it felt good, but definitely not as good as Judd’s cock would feel. 

“Pw-pf..a..e.. Pwase!” You begged him, hands wandering towards his belt, feeling him up and unbuckling his belt buckle. You gasped quietly, he was so hard it had to hurt and the feeling of him pressed to your palm made you clench around nothing again. Despite the layers of clothes between you. 

He moaned, but reached down to gather both wrists in his free hand and pinning them together. “You think you think you deserve that? After all the fucking noise you made?” 

You cried out and nodded. Judd grinned sinisterly. “You’re so pathetic, you little slut. You know that?” 

You wanted to kick him, or at least insult him back but the throbbing in your cunt and the fact that his words only made that throb so much worse, made it quite hard to do so. 

Then, he leaned in, resting his chin on top of your head and inhaled your hair deeply. “You’re my little slut.” He grunted and, oh, you could have cum right there. 

You nuzzled into him, burying your head where his neck became his chest and started leaving small, wet kisses. 

He didn’t let go of either your wrists or mouth, instead he barked one simple order; “Off.” and brought your bound wrists towards his crotch again. 

You didn’t need to be told twice, immediately getting to work and shoving both his pants and underwear as far down as your position would allow you to grab at his dick. 

Hissing in pleasure, he pulled you closer to him. He was throbbing and warm in your hand, heavy and so swollen the head had almost turned purple, you tried lifting yourself up, tried to get just the tiniest bit of friction. 

You pumped him slowly, he was sticky with pre-cum already and he dropped his head into your hair again, burying his face into you with a strained groan. He, too, was close to his breaking point.

Letting your wrists and cheeks free, he opted to grab under both your hips, lifting them up to hover above his dick. You let go of him, fingers coming to scratch at the table as he did the remainder of work for you and you fell back on the table. 

“This what you want?” He grunted, thrusting experimentally and nudging his cockhead against your swollen little pearl. 

“Yes.. yes, yes! Please, Judd, it hurts, I need it..!” You blabbered, cheeks puffy and face screwed up as you felt your empty pussy ache with anticipation. Only your boyfriend's dick could ease the twang in your lower belly. 

He inhaled sharply through his nose, face set in stone and brows drawn together as he finally thrusted into you, filling you so completely in that one thrust, that you suddenly felt too full. 

The bit of pain from the wide stretch you felt melted into white-hot pleasure almost as soon as it appeared and when Judd pressed a bit more into you, his hip bones meeting yours, you came instantly. 

You cried out, overwhelmed by the sudden and immense pleasure. Judd cursed, rather loudly and tried pressing further into you, holding you flush against him as you clenched uncontrollably around him. You were even tighter now, so tight it almost hurt and so he waited for you to ride out your orgasm, breathing heavily. 

“Shit.. fuck you! Ah!” He nearly whined at the feeling, blunt nails digging into the plush flesh on your hips. 

Panting, sobbing and sighing, you slowly came down from your orgasm, not at all ready when Judd suddenly started thrusting again. You were already overstimulated, but the wide stretch and feeling of his cock inside felt so heavenly.

You couldn’t help the never-ending mantra of his name that escaped you, matching each of his violent thrusts. He wanted you to feel him as deep as possible, you knew, and he made sure of it. Leaning in over you to hit you at a deeper angle, pressing down on your belly as he fucked you to see himself bulging through. 

“Judd, m’so full,” You slurred, digging your nails into his shoulders, as deep as they would go. He grunted a response, sweat gathering on his dark brows; “You gotta be quiet, baby.” He was strained as he spoke, teeth clenched and warm breath fanning your face.

Then, he squeezed under your thighs again, sliding you towards the edge of the table. “Spread your legs.” He demanded gravelly, and you easily complied. He pressed himself to you further, barely pulling out after each thrust, but doubling the force in which he thrusted. 

The table scraped loudly against the floor, you whimpered and tried to quiet yourself, face heating as the room filled with squelching sounds that definitely didn’t leave anything to the imagination, should anyone overhear. 

Already, you started to tighten around him again, your thighs quivered as you did your best to keep them apart. Judd noticed almost immediately, bringing his thumb down upon your puffy clit. 

“C’mon pretty girl, cum for me again,” He panted and you followed suit, before you could cry out, though, he captured your lips with his own, chest pressed to yours. 

You sobbed into his mouth as his tongue licked flames into you, clutching him to you. His thrusts became irregular, driving you into the table until he couldn’t hold out anymore. He moved to pull out, but you stopped him, keeping him pressed against you. “Don’t.. they’ll see— in-inside.” You panted into his mouth, and almost immediately felt a slush of warm liquid fill your lower belly. 

Judd grit his teeth tightly, jaw fully clenching and breath heaving. His green eyes were dark and glazed, he straightened up a little, raising himself on his forearms to look down at you. 

You were drooling slightly, makeup a bit smudged as you laid out on the table, revelling in the feeling of complete satisfaction and Judd’s cum filling you.

He waited a while to pull out, watching with interest as your tummy swelled ever so slightly from the combining force of his dick and his spend. 

“You’re fucking horrible at being quiet,” He eventually stated.

You puffed out your cheeks, sitting up and wrapping your arms around his shoulders. “It wasn’t me who made the table move,” you countered.

Judd’s hands ventured up your back, holding you to him. “You whine like a bitch in heat,” He countered, monotonously, in the most endearing way he could possibly put it. Because honestly, he loved the sounds you made. 

Maury clapped him on the back and barked something at him, reminding him that the two of you were indeed not alone and he pulled out of you. You sighed as he slipped out, feeling your combined liquids leak out a bit as well. 

He was quick to pull his pants and boxers up, turning from you to fetch a roll of paper towels. As he always did, he insisted on cleaning up for you. 

You had asked him about it once, getting the lame response of; “I like to keep my things clean.” 

Fixing your skirt to cover yourself, you found that your panties were nowhere in sight and fixed Judd a look. 

Your boyfriend shrugged. “This is your house, just get another pair.” You blew a raspberry at him. “I’m actually gonna run out of underwear because of you.” 

He didn’t care, it was quite obvious, so you kissed his jaw and jumped from the table, to get yourself a new pair. Judd didn’t miss his chance to roughly squeeze your ass as you walked past him. 

-

Nick awoke to a strange sound. The loudest being the scraping of something on the floor, then he heard you cry, loud and continually as though you were in pain. 

Immediately he sat up. The room was dark and the tv static, he drowsily looked around, his four friends sleeping soundly on the couch. Andrew moved his foot, coincidentally pinning Nick down with it. Groggily, he sighed and pushed Andrew off him. 

He swayed a bit as he stood up, rubbing his eyes to get the sleep out of them. His brother and you weren’t anywhere to be seen, the spot where you previously was sitting now occupied by Jessi, sleeping in a starfish position. 

That was when he heard the sound again, the scraping and then the desperate gasping. This time, though, he heard his brother’s raspy voice as well. What the hell was going on?

‘Judd and Y/n are wrestling,’ Suddenly his temporary hormone monster, Tyler emerged from the kitchen with a disturbed look. 

“What?” Nick was way too tired to process something like that. 

‘They’re rolling around on the table! Like this!’ Tyler got on top of the coffee table, and started intimidating something that definitely did not look like wrestling.

Tyler noticed Nick’s confused expression. ‘Yeah! And she keeps crying and saying his name— like, like this!’ The monster proceeded to do an utmost terrible impression of you calling for Judd and Nick cringed. ‘— and then, Judd told her to shut up and called her a slut! I think he’s gonna get her in a chokehold. I wouldn’t put my money on Y/n, though, she’s not even trying to fight him off—‘

“— Yeah, I don’t think they’re wrestling, Tyler.” Nick deadpanned, cutting the deity short. He felt his face grow increasingly red, as your sounds grew. Now, even he could hear you beg Judd for all sorts of lewd things. 

‘Oh.’ Tyler blinked a couple of times. Nick shivered, he definitely did not need to hear his brother bone his girlfriend (on whom he had a crush) or explain the situation to his hormone monster. 

The two of them remained in uncomfortable silence for a while, Nick pacing back and forth to clear his head of any inappropriate thoughts that Tyler was coaxing him into, once he had figured out the situation. 

Eventually, Nick settled on waking Andrew. 

“Andrew,” He pushed his friend and whispered again. “C’mon, wake up, Andrew,” 

The latter mumbled something incoherent, adjusting his glasses in his sleep. Nick groaned and shook him, not relenting. “I never peed in that pool!” Andrew woke up shouting, and Nick tumbled back in surprise. 

“What?” Nick hissed. Andrew looked about wide eyed, seemingly as groggy as Nick. “I— what?” Andrew repeated. He blinked at his friend slowly, not yet aware of the circumstances. 

He pulled Andrew from the couch, and put a hand over his mouth. “Listen,” He whispered, and watched as his friend's expression turned from annoyed, to confused, to very very startled. 

“Oh my god. Oh my god, oh my god!” Andrew stammered. Nick removed his hand. “Is that— are they?” His head snapped from Nick to the kitchen entrance and back again. 

The shorter nodded once, stiffly. “What do we— do we do anything? We could go back to sleep before Judd— oh god, what if they find out we heard?”

Nick turned to his panicking friend, determination clear in his eyes. “We need to go see for ourselves.” 

Andrew’s eyes grew impossibly larger, to the size of sorcerers. “What? No! No, no, normally I come up with those kinda terrible ideas— are you okay, Nick?” He put a clammy hand to Nick’s forehead, fauxingly checking his temperature.

Nick clicked his tongue, annoyed, and waved his friend’s hands away. “Think, Andrew! You have a crush on Y/n, I have a crush on Y/n, haven't you imagined her like that a lot of times, anyway? We can just look, really quickly,” 

“Uuhh, I— I don’t know,” He stammered, eyes flicking to the kitchen door. 

Nick sighed. “I’m going to go look.” His statement was final, as he marched off. Andrew wrung his hands, definitely not unaware of his own desire to see what his two designated babysitters were up to, and his legs seemed to follow after Nick all by themselves. 

The two stopped by the door, neither daring to actually peek inside yet. 

“Judd, m’so full,” 

Both boys stiffened at the sound of your voice, breathy and begging and definitely not how you usually spoke to them. 

Then, Judd grunted; “You gotta be quiet, baby.” Followed up by a harsh command of; “Spread your legs.”

Nick swallowed, and Tyler pushed him further towards the door, squealing at him to look. Suddenly, his previous courage had completely disintegrated and he looked at Andrew, panicked.

The other was just as alarmed, sweat beating his forehead as the scraping sounds picked up and they realised the weight of the situation. 

They stood there for a while, completely perplexed, having been so scared off by your vulgar statements that neither dared to move. Andrew shut his eyes tightly, shifting his weight from foot to foot as he heard Maury in the room as well. He was barking orders at Judd, all of which went completely ignored, and cheering the two of you on.

Then, after what felt like aeons, the noise quieted down and the two preteens listened as you had a quiet conversation. Judd was way less mean, when he talked to you in private, they both noted. Only when you went off to get another pair of briefs, did they realise their mistake. But it was too late for them to move, instead they both stood there with rapidly beating hearts, faces bathed in red with sheepish expressions as you exited the room. 

You stuck your head out the entrance first, yelling in surprise when you caught sight of the two boys. “Oh my god.” You breathed, then realising that they probably heard most of what just went on.

Caught red handed, you couldn’t bear to look neither of them in the eyes. You straightened, quickly walking past them and holding your skirt tightly around your bottom. 

Levelling your voice the best you could, you called to them over your shoulder; “Judd’s in the kitchen, if you need anything,” You squeaked, bounding upstairs to your room before they could properly take in your dishevelled appearance. 

Nick panicked, now they had to go in the kitchen, or suspicion would surely arise. He grabbed onto Andrew’s sleeve, willing his legs to move and take the final few steps into the kitchen.

Into the dragon's den, where Judd, the dragon resided. 

“H-hi. Judd.” Nick stammered. Judd had his back to them, raiding the fridge for anything to drink. You had only stocked up on diet sodas.

The older teen acknowledged them with a grunt, not bothering to turn before his drink-mission was complete. The two boys stood awkwardly in the middle of your kitchen, waiting for whatever reign of terror Judd would have prepared for them; but none came. 

Judd slammed the fridge door shut, and to their total surprise, threw each boy a Diet Coke. “Need anything else?” He drawled, sauntering to the table and slumping down in a chair. He opened a coke for himself and got comfortable in his chair, downing almost the entire can in one go. 

Andrew and Nick shared a glance, and simultaneously inched towards the table. The two of them sat down quietly, still waiting for Judd to scare them away. 

But he was completely out of character, for once, he looked kinda relaxed. Albeit a bit sweaty and tousled, but as calm as Nick had ever seen his older brother. His eyes lingered on Judd’s neck, where he bore a collection of teeth indents, smudges from your lipstick and hickeys.

The three sat in silence for a bit, listening as the light under the cabinets buzzed and eventually Judd got up to fetch another soda. 

“You want any more?” He asked the two, and they politely declined. He shrugged and returned to the table with a new can. 

Nick fiddled with the top of his can, eyes flitting around the room nervously. “Judd. Can I ask you a question?” He dared not look up as he spoke, keeping his eyes planted on the table.

Judd grunted, his way of saying ‘go ahead.’

“Why are you being so nice to us?” The question visibly caught Judd a bit off guard, he stopped drinking for a brief moment, thinking the question over before his stoic exterior returned. 

“Y/n wants me to be nice to you. She likes you small assholes,” He shrugged. 

Andrew looked at the older bewildered. “Y/n told you to be nice to us?” He asked, voice cracking as if he couldn’t believe his own ears. 

Judd frowned. “That’s what I said, wasn’t it?” He snapped.

Andrew swallowed thickly. “Y-yeah. Sorry,” 

“But— I mean, why? She’s not even here, and, you usually don’t listen to anyone,” Nick was unrelenting, now past the point of caring if Judd would beat him up for asking questions. 

A pregnant pause wove through the room, as Judd thought about the question. He still looked considerably less angry than usual, but his features were set in a frown and his brows drew together and made it look like he was planning something sinister. 

“I do what she says because I love her.” He said eventually, glaring off into space as he thought his answer over.

Neither of the two boys could believe their ears. The Judd Birch had just declared his love publicly. It must have been the post-nut clarity. 

When they failed to respond, he continued on; “Sometimes you gotta do dumb shit, even if it’s fucking annoying, to keep a girl.” He mumbled, still deep in thought. Had the situation been different, Nick would have found it quite funny to hear Judd talk about such tender things in his gruff voice. 

Andrew leaned over the table, adjusting his glasses. “Is— Is that how you get a girlfriend?” 

At that, the corners of Judd’s lips moved upwards ever so slightly. He turned fully to them, a wicked look in his eyes. “That’s how you get laid, numbnuts.” 

Then Nick cut in; “But what after? What if I like this girl, and I really wanna touch her boobs, but I also want to talk to her. I mean just talk. Because she’s smart, and funny, and really nice,” 

Judd dug through his back pocket, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and opened the window on the wall behind him. He stuck one between his lips, and offered the pack up to the boys. 

“We’re twelve.”

Judd merely shrugged and lit his own cigarette. “If you wanna touch her tits, you gotta talk to her first. And don’t be a little creep. Charm her and shit,” He explained. 

Nick deadpanned. “Charm her?” Judd was everything but charming. It would forever remain the greatest mystery to him, how his brother managed to pull any girls at all. 

Andrew pushed up his glasses. “Actually, what Judd is saying is true. You need to make her feel as if you care about her—“ 

“—I do care about her!” Nick protested. 

Judd flicked a bit of his cigarette off over the window still. “Then it’s easy. Just talk to her, pussy.” He inhaled a long drag. “If she’s into small pricks, you’ll be just her type.”

The younger pouted. “Not funny, Judd.”

Judd cackled, lowly, sinisterly. “Then, how do you know if a girl likes you?” Andrew asked. 

“She lets you touch her tits.” 

Nick sighed. “C’mon, Judd! There has to be more to it— I mean, you have a girlfriend, so you obviously know.”

The eldest grunted and exhaled smoke through his nose. He thought for a bit before replying; “I was at a party, and I saw this girl, Y/n, and she was really fucking hot. Is really fucking hot,” He fixed the two middle schoolers a pointed look. “So I talked to her, turns out she’s really fucking sweet too. And when you meet a girl like that, all the rest comes naturally,” He finished his explanation, a bit smug as the two boys looked at him in wonder. 

“Not to offend, b—but haven’t you dated lots of girls? How’d you do that?” Andrew asked. 

Judd put his cigarette out in his, now empty, coke can. “Sure I have. You can also just fuck girls, but it’s a lot more fun if you like them,” He said. 

“How do I do that, then? Do I have to talk to her too, even if I don’t like her?” Andrew was a bit eager now, but Nick had to admit that he was also itching for answers. 

“No matter what, you gotta talk to her. Maybe not for long, and if you just wanna fuck, you have to say the right things,” He said, and then quickly added. “But don’t do that. I don’t want you two turning into little dicks,” 

“Then.. What if you’re already friends with her?” It was a bit of a jump in topic, but Nick had to get answers, and right now was probably the only time he had the opportunity to ask. 

Judd snorted. “You want to fuck one of your friends out there?” He cackled, motioning to the living room. 

Nick turned red very quickly. “No.” 

“Fuck, you’re a little simp!” The eldest was finding Nick’s personal troubles a little too funny, and he huffed, glaring at his brother. “But all the rules still apply. Be charming, talk to her, and don’t be a creep.” Judd eventually added, nodding at his brother. 

“Thank you, Judd.” Nick muttered, and he meant it. 

“Yeah, thank you, Judd,” Andrew echoed. 

Judd grunted. “Yeah, whatever. But don’t, ever, spy on me and Y/n again. I mean it. Or I will gut both of you like fucking fish.”

Hi, hello,, thank you of making it this far!

Originally, I wanted to label this “16+ do not interact if you’re younger” but honestly I ate shit like this tf UP when I was 13 💀 idk if I made Judd a little too OOC, sorry big mouth writers ☹️✋ I hope you enjoyed, though

Small rant + update; tumblr has been acting up on my phone lately, idk what I did to make it so laggy lately, but I have to post from my computer now ),: ALSO I’m so mad I keep forgetting that the cursive I make in Google docs doesn’t work in tumblr ahhhhHHHH so I had to go over the whole thing again, I’m pressed

And anyways, I’ve been working on a really big project for a while now, it is literally my baby, and it’s a Loki x reader because I finally watched some marvel movies lol, I’ll wait with posting it till it’s completely done bc rn it’s kinda a mess (and not nearly done) but if anyone would be interested in beta reading the first 5 chapters please don’t hesitate reaching out to me!

You are wonderful! Thank you for reading <3

Request something? HERE!

Tags? @dlfvrr (this was the only instance I could find of someone wanting to be tagged in my Judd stuff, please reply to this if you do want to be tagged)

[morganbritton132]

For the teacher!Steve trying not to curse I think it’s harder when he becomes a middle school teacher. He definitely will slip into the second grade teacher voice when he is in his civilian state (aka at metal concerts) when he is a second grade teacher, but like as a ninth grade English teacher it becomes much easier to slip back and forth when you’re faced with a bunch of pre/baby teens. It is much harder to not slip up and just go “what the fuck man” when you’re faced with a fourteen year old getting his phone out to play some stupid iPhone game thirty seconds after you told him to put it away, bc there’s something about little kids that makes it easier to not curse around them. So I think the fact that the shenanigans Eddie gets up to are way to similar to the thirteen year olds’ shenanigans makes it super hard to remember which ones he can curse at freely.

Oh man, I love this. And also, absolutely yes to all of it.

Steve really thought that he had it in the bag when he decided to started teaching middle school because he already has experience dealing with the worst kind of middle schoolers. At least none of his students will be adopting monsters as pets or shoving his unconscious body into a car, but no. He was not prepared for pre-teens in the age of the internet.

He was also not prepared for how much he wants to swear at these kids.

He could swear at Dustin. And he did! Often!

When Steve starts teaching middle school, he started to get more creative with his swearing substitutes (i.e. he uses the substitutes that I use at work). So, when one of his students switches out his dry erase marker with a permanent marker and he realizes it halfway through writing an equation on the board, he doesn’t say ‘are you fucking kidding me’ like he wants to. He says instead, “Are you shark-finning me?”

The first time he uses this exact phrase backstage at a CC show, it’s when he accidentally spills coffee on himself. Jeff turns around to look at him so fast that he walks into a wall.

Steve’s been know to drop a ‘frickity-frack’ or a ‘bull shark’ once or twice, and his students think it’s hilarious but it nearly kills Corroded Coffin every time. Eddie once snapped at him for interrupting him in the studio and instead of telling him that he was acting like an asshole, Steve said that he was ‘being a bunch of words’ and ‘not very nice ones at that.’

It honestly was more hurtful than being called an asshole.

Sometimes Steve will tell his students that they’re acting like a real ‘Dustin Henderson’ and they don’t know what exactly that means, but they don’t like it.

The opposite happens too, Steve has accidentally swore in front of his students and they freaking love it. It’s the funniest thing in the world to them.

Once a kid brought a baby squirrel into his classroom (a true thing that happened in my nineth grade Spanish class) and Steve said without thought, “Jeremy, what the fuck.”

[saltedriceball]

How I imagine the Mystreet characters

Because they’re block-shaped in the show, but my 12 yr old ass imagined them as real people. 🕺

* I mainly kept up with Aphmau when I was 10-12 years old, I fully stopped watching after Mystreet 5 *

* I didn’t watch MCD 🙊 *

*this is mostly PDH (my fav, I was 12)*

Aphmau

It’s just Jess.

Kawaii Chan

Like average height

5’4” ish

Thick thighs save lives

Whole wardrobe is baby pink and white

Idk grown me thinks she was a cam girl (in Mystreet, not Phoenix Drop ✋)

And she made bank too

She’s not very athletic, but she’s just like blessed proportion-wise

Pale, but not as much as portrayed

Idk I always thought she’d actually be Japanese since she uses Japanese terms

Pin straight hair she curls only at the bottom

Like ribbon

Katelyn

Quite tall

5’9”ish

Muscular but in like a

~she’s a runner she’s a track star~

Type of way

She just looks athletic

Flat though

Paler than KC

Her hair is wavy-curly naturally

She kinda lets it just flow or it’s in a ponytail

Zane

Quite chubby

Idk how anyone watched that show and thought

*man who despises the outdoors, hates exercise, and enjoys sweet things*

“Must be tall and skinny”

The fan art I viewed in middle school legit surprised me.

He was definitely super duper skinny in high school

Adolescent metabolism and all

He is definitely like 5’8”

He is very pale

Does indeed burn almost immediately in the sun

Has an emo boy hair cut

Like Anthony from Smosh way back in the day

He also has piercings: lip, ears (multiple), septum, eyebrow)

Also has tattoos

Freckled, especially on his body

He has random scars from injuries growing up

Inflicted by his brothers

Mostly Garroth

Garroth

Muscular

But also quite chubby

Just kinda in the middle

Like 6’

Overall just a big guy

Just looks like he gives good hugs

He also has a beard

Not a big floofy one

But it’s there

He looks very Northern European idk

Has a lot of arm hair, and it’s very blond

So you don’t see it until up close

Also pale

And very freckled

Also wears a watch

And his outfit is the most average outfit for a man

Khaki shorts, a white tee, a plaid button up unbuttoned, a watch, and sneakers

This outfit could be spotted on an elementary schooler’s spring picture day

Or on my literal father 👨🏻

His hair is quite curly

Not in a spiral curl, but more of a wavy-curly way

Laurance

This man is brown imo

Very tall

Like 6’3”

Super skinny

To where he looks even taller than he is

Just built like that ya know

His hair is a pony tail as an adult

But it was in a Superman sort of curly situation in high achool

I get the vibe he likes being outside

Doesn’t work out, but loves a good hotgirlwalk

Aaron

A little more like the common fan art of 2016

Tall, but only like 5’10”

Absolute beefcake of a guy

But also like has some body fat

He is not rock hard, but you can see his muscles

I imagine he has thick thighs

Fat ass too

But that’s just how his body fat distributes, so like yeah he has visible abs

Idk that’s all I’ve got

There was enough consistent fanart in my atmosphere at the time that that’s how I imagine him

Dante

Never thought too hard about him

His hair is definitely curly

More than Garroths

He has especially big eyes

He’s like lean muscular

Just very average white guy

Like 5’11”

Looks young for his age

Michi

Absolute 2014 tumblr girly

Owns something with galaxy print

Very thin

With tig ole bitties

Wears thigh high socks, mini skirts, and tank tops with sweaters

Has the swoopy bangs of the era

Poses in up angle selfies like 🙂

So her head looks like a raindrop in the photo

Edits her ig photos to look more aesthetic

Teony

Tall

Girl next door

Well done, natural make up

Straightened hair

Smiling a lot

Even if it’s fake

Idk her character that well

Never thought too hard about it

But she’s like supermodel pretty

Ein

I only remember high school him

But he was like

Young guy skinny

Like you could see he had arm muscles in a tank top

In an old 5SOS type of way

His head is actually boxy shaped

Like 5’11”

White

Never thought too hard about adult Ein

Lucinda

White

Her hair is dyed with spells

It’s styled well, in a Jessica rabbit hairstyle

It’s curled

Body shaped like a coke bottle

Hourglass for days

She’s just hot

Gene

Hi why was this cast so white washed

White

His hair is not naturally black

It’s like medium brown

It’s also straight but he gets it permed

Wears eyeliner

Lots of bracelets and piercings

Tall guy like 6’1”

Cadenza

She spends a lot of money dying her hair that color

White

Tall like 5’10”

Her dress is floor length

And loose

Could command a room

Guy

Barbie doll

Hi Ken

Built like an upside down isosceles triangle

Muscular

Back muscles for days

Looks like he could do triathlons in Ancient Greece

Like 6’5”

This man is good to look at

Ivy

Michi but pink

Jeffory

The most golden retriever man you could imagine

Like 6’3”

Athletic muscular

Melissa

The most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen

Tall like 5’11”

Long legs

Nicole

Don’t know don’t care

Miscellaneous really

Wasn’t in the show enough

Reese

Nick Bean dyed pink

Vylad

Drake Bell in his Drake and Josh era precisely

No more no less

Except he always has a scarf even if it’s hot out

Sylvanna

Aphmau, tall

Zianna

Button nose

A really petite lady

Her hair is black but with gray sprinkled in

The most smiley lady you ever did see

Mother gothel if you breathed life back into her

Hot

Kai

Forgot about him for a sec

Ok gears turning

Tall

Very calm energy

Redhead

Idk he wasn’t that relevant for me

Jenny

Also in the 2014 tumblr girly category

But a little more Bethany Mota with it

A little less galaxy print

A little more Jennxpenn vibes

Wears hella eyeliner

Her outfit is black cutoff jean shorts, an oversized shirt so you can see her white tank top underneath

Her hair is naturally that light

Wears converse only

[v-tired-queer]

Hi!! I'm a Christian, and while I've encountered people who combine witchcraft with their Christian faith, I've never understood it. I saw in your pinned post that this is something you do. If you're willing/interested/have the energy, would you be willing to share more about that? Or point me in the direction of some more information on it?

I know really little about this, and I really want to understand more. I'm not coming here to be critical, just super curious. :D Hope you're well!

Hello there! 😃👋 I hope that you're doing well, too, and sure, I'd love to share a little more about combining witchcraft with my Christian faith!

I think, for starters, that it's important to remember that, like for everything else in life, how I've experienced this might not be how another Christian witch experiences it, views it, or even came about it. But I think that as Christians we can also understand that fairly easily, as that's just how a lot of us experience Christianity in and of itself. How one person came to Christ won't always be the same way that another person has come to Christ, and how we worship won't always look the same, either. It's just like that for Christian witches, too.

In an attempt to make a very long story short (spoiler alert: I failed), I feel like I am very lucky and blessed to have grown up with a Methodist mom, Southern Baptist father, aunts who were Catholic, cousins who became atheist and agnostic and friends at school who were Muslim and Jewish. I was surrounded by all sorts of different paths to take, and my mom had always encouraged my brother and I to choose our faiths for ourselves when we were old enough to understand what having faith really means, which is why we weren't baptized when we were babies, but raised in church nonetheless. I grew up very faithful. Sunday School was my favorite part of the week, and I loved to learn more about God and Jesus and say my prayers at meals and at night. God always made me feel loved. Still does 🩷

When I was in middle school, I was very, very traditional. I was open minded to others, but I was always hesitant to let myself explore more things for myself. I think I was afraid that exploring meant that I was a bad Christian, that I was questioning God, and I didn't want to make Him angry or upset with me. But I eventually met a friend who was a Wiccan, worshiping a god and goddess, living by the cycles of the moon and seasons, doing spells and rituals and worshiping at home or in nature. I loved things like that growing up, but always thought that it was just something from Hollywood or the mideavel period at best. I didn't think people actually did it, though I had always wished that they did. Little middle schooler me thought that maybe this was God's way of giving me permission to explore more, so I asked questions, watched spells and rituals, learned correspondences, and eventually asked, "Is there a Christian faith that's like this, too?"

Turns out there wasn't really one specific faith in Christianity that I could find, but rather, a practice instead. Google led me down so many different paths of people who were both Christians and witches and I decided I wanted to give it a try, too. And honestly? It felt like my faith was renewed. I felt like by choosing how I specifically worship and "do Christianity", I was making a relationship with God and Jesus and even the Holy Spirit that was closer than ever before because I was letting myself actually feel my faith instead of just going through motions at church, which was a rut than even middle school me was stuck in. I wasn't just doing what I thought I had to, I was doing what I wanted to do to show God my love and faith, and it really empowered me to form my own path in life, one that was and still is Christ centered, even if not in a way that tends to be expected for Christians.

So, the witchcraft itself: personally, I don't know if I view my spells an rituals the same way that other witches do. I don't really do a spell and think of it as me bending the wills that be to my desire, but rather, I view it as a really intense prayer. I see it as me using visual representations of my goals, needs and wants as a way to show God what it is I feel like I need (or just really, really want lol), but I always still leave it up to Him and His plans at the end of the day. I can do a thousand spells for the same thing over and over again, but if God says no, than the answer is no, ya know? My rituals are just ways to show my love, devotion, and gratitude. I pay special attention to seasons because the world God made is beautiful in all of its many ways, and personally, when I take the time to rest in the winter or come alive in the summer, I feel like I'm using the natural patterns of the Earth to further build my relationship with God, and Jesus, too. I feel like God made so many things in a natural rhythm and pattern--I just try to live by those things to strengthen the relationship between us.

I'm sure you can tell by how many times I've said it, but at the end of the day, it's all about my relationship with God and our Savior, just like for other Christians. I'm just doing things a bit differently. I'm 1000% that there are people who don't believe that this is a "valid" thing to do or that I'm sinning or that I'm going to Hell for all of this, but their opinions don't matter to me. My relationship with the Lord, His Son, and His Spirit matters to me, and when I do the things that make me feel the closest to Him, that make me feel His love and grace, then I feel like I'm doing fine.

Allllllll of that being said, there's lot of different ways that other Christian witches worship or practice witchcraft, which I think is really cool! There are some that have Mother Mary as a huge focus in their worship, or the Saints, or even the Disciples! I especially like witchcraft that involves the angels (Gabriel, my beloved 🤍). Personally, I steer clear of anything that involves demons or dark spirits and the like, but I'm always on the lookout for signs that angels are near or that the Lord is with me (which He always is, like he's always with you).

Unfortunately, I can't think of any sources or materials off the top of my head that would be good for further research. But maybe there are some other blogs on here that would have some good starting points, or would share their own views, too! You could search by denomination and then put witch after, like "Catholic witch" or Methodist witch", things like that. There are some books about Christian witchcraft, too, but personally I haven't read any of them. I think there might be come Christian witches on YouTube, too.

I hope this post made sense! If you have any other questions, please don't hesitate to ask! 😊

God bless! 🕊

[themetalvirus]

I really want to know about your magical girl au idea please I’ve admittedly asked multiple times I think but I just love a good magical girl au

IM SORRY I HAVENT RESPONDED TO THOSE it's just a Lot so trying to summarize it is also a Lot plus i wanna find and gather a bunch of my old sketches

some info:

sonic is a teenage track star hedgehog who's a freshman in high school on an island populated mostly by trees and non-sentient animals. he lives with and takes care of his baby brother tails, who is a genius, while still taking him to elementary school / picking him up. tails has his two tails but can't fly, sonic goes fast but only normal fast.

one day, eggman shows up on their island, and one of the chaos emeralds appears to sonic after he hustles a bunch of people to safety, determining that he's pure of heart. he goes thru his first transformation sequence, beats up eggman, gets his actual super speed in his magical boy form. after he's done and de-transforms, the chaos emerald turns into a necklace on twine string with wooden beads, bamboo beads, and a wood setting. looks like this

all the chaos emeralds are their transformation items, and eggman is after them! they're all controlled by the master emerald, which knuckles is guarding. he's well versed in magical person lore, but isn't one himself.... yet. eggman also wants the master emerald but it's hidden on angel island and he has no idea where angel island is. yet. the master emerald also is the one who actually decides if a hero is pure of heart enough to be a magical person and blesses them with one of the chaos emeralds. which is why eggman wants it so bad

when the chaos emeralds bond with a hero that is pure of heart, they become an accessory that suits them and their true heart. when one of the heroes transforms with their emerald, the emerald disappears as it's temporarily absorbed into their body for power. if you beat a magical person in battle (basically when they are too weak to fight or use their cute magic anymore), their clothes revert into simple white glowing dresses (like precure, also knuckles gets a big glowing poncho instead) and their accessory is back on them, turned into nothing but a thin string of chaos energy with the emerald dangling off of it. you can easily steal a chaos emerald off of someone like this.

more accessory concepts:

eggman already has one chaos emerald, which he has given to still-bent-on-revenge sa2-characterization shadow who is just biding his time as he works for eggman. he doesn't transform with it, he uses it for ~evil~ and only after he remembers his actual promise to maria does he get to transform. he and maria were both magical people until she died while fighting evil, after which he and gerald both renounced magic. shadow was engineered to be the ultimate magical boy to protect maria, which he just resents (before his memories go back to normal).

also rouge and omega work for eggman, they're the recurring bad guys whose monsters they have to fight or whatever before the finale where they all punch eggman into space or something. but they obviously stop working for him way before that happens

order that they turn into magical people: sonic, tails, knuckles (after they go to angel island, knuckles is very honored for the opportunity to actually become what he admires so much), amy (sonic hates that he has to work with amy at first since she's a middle schooler who chases him around trying to get him to date her), silver, blaze (very shortly after silver), shadow

only after all seven chaos emeralds have their heroes and the heroes have all come to work together can you unlock their true power (and your fun little powered up magical person dresses for the finale fight, a MUST-HAVE)

sonic has the dark blue one, tails has the yellow one, knuckles has the green one (the master emerald's baby brother, as sonic called it once), amy has the white one (taken from rouge after she said she didn't even want it for its power and i imagine that in the tv show in my head there's an episode dedicated to the pursuing hullabaloo and amy's transformation at the end), blaze has the purple one, silver has the cyan one, and shadow (of course) has the red one

all of them have like, individual character arcs as well. but this post is mostly chaos emerald magical girl lore SORRY. i like making up chaos emerald magical girl lore its fun. its FUN.

[atopearth]

Brothers Conflict (Brilliant Blue) Part 6 - Asahina Wataru Route

I still think it's super weird how Wataru has a route but oh well we'll see how it goes lol! It's so cute how he insisted on getting Ema to go "ah~" so he can feed her ice cream lolll. Awww, how cute of Wataru to cover Ema from the water splashing on her during the dolphin show. I love how Yusuke and them teach him gentlemanly stuff hahaha. LMAO when Ema was telling Subaru to take off his jacket so she can wash his with hers since they're both wet, and Wataru was like taking clothes off is something you do for fun at night isn't it😂😂 Lolll at the CG with Wataru hugging Ema in her swimsuit, he's just a kid!!😂

I know it should be expected since it's Wataru's route but it's just so weird when Ema thinks about Wataru as a potential love interest lolll. The kid's like a baby lol! Anyway, it was funny when Maho helped Ema out and dragged Masaomi away at the cultural festival so she could spend it with Wataru lolll, and when she said she wanted to chase after Masaomi since he's nice and is a doctor lol. So awkward when Ema thought about how Wataru would grow up after Miwa said Ema should marry one of her sons😅😅😅 Ema, nooo lol😂 It was really sweet how Wataru said that he was crying because Ema was crying, such a soft little kid😭 Even though it's not as emotional and sweet as the with the other brothers (when she finds out she's adopted), it's cute how Wataru tells her in his own way that they should all go home because she's not alone and that everyone is looking for her so she gets the gist of their feelings in the end. Wataru is such a boss though, he told Masaomi to wait over there so he could cheer Ema up himself hahaha, I was wondering why Masaomi didn't do anything even though he was there lol. It's super reassuring to hear from Wataru that Ema will never be alone again because he'll always be there for her every Christmas, that's really sweet. HAHAHA, I love Tsubaki, he really knows how to get Wataru to follow him and cause trouble😂😂😂 Legit died when I saw Yusuke's test paper on the Christmas tree and the 1 point score hahahaha, and Subaru's boxers with his name on it😂😂 It was obvious the condoms were from Kaname's room but lmao that they're like in purple packaging 😂 Masaomi is the oldest but most innocent, he just has the first version of usa-tan (the rabbit doll) hahahaha.

I ended up binging the rest because I wanted to finish it asap since it just feels too weird to play an otome game but keep hanging with a literal child hahaha. I think Wataru writing his wish on the ema hoping that he'll be Ema's boyfriend one day was cute. However it's kinda silly how completely oblivious Ema is even though she caught a glimpse of it lol. To be fair, I guess you wouldn't think a kid is interested in dating you haha. I think them making a promise to basically be together forever was cute but yeah, the CGs are nice because it feels like Ema really is taking care of Wataru nicely haha. It was kinda funny when Wataru said he wanted to get into the same school as Iori because he wanted to be "high spec" enough to not lose to his brothers loll! At least contrary to his cute and oblivious looks, Wataru is actually very smart and athletic haha. Okay, I didn't expect to see an older Wataru lol!! That felt so weird!? I'm so used to his cutesy voice lol! And then the kiss CG omggg, very unexpected and still quite uncomfortable because he's like a middle schooler? Yeah nah man loll.

Overall, considering it's a route for a little kid, it actually wasn't too bad. Wataru was pretty cute, innocent and very sweet. He learns a lot of random gentlemanly things from Kaname and Tsubaki, some good some bad (but hilarious) so it's always such a highlight to see what he's learnt from his brothers and how he applies it to his life hahaha. He gets shy and a little jealous sometimes but he's mostly a very kind boy who Ema watches over and you can see why she's attached to him because he's very cute and tries his best at whatever he does. Him mimicking his brothers is hilarious and I loved seeing them throughout the game haha. But yeah, I think it would have been okay as a more platonic route because Wataru kissing her at the end was just so awkward, he's still a baby to me!! Lol. Otherwise, the route is basically filled with events of how it feels to hang with a cute kid and it really delivers in that area, not that I needed it though because I want a man LOL.

[that-was-anticlimactic]

wha... whats mob psycho 100 about

the only thing i know about the window is when the ginger lost to sans

*deep inhale*

okay! so mp100 is about this fourteen year old named shigeo kageyama (aka, mob) and he is an esper and a SUPER powerful one at that!!! he works at spirits and such which is reigen's psychic business. here's the thing, tho, reigen arataka (ginger who lost to sans) is Not a psychic - he pretends to be one because he got bored one day.

mob is scared of his powers and doesn't like using them due to an incident from his childhood involving his younger brother, ritsu kageyama (aka best character baby boy my favorite my blorbo my skrunkly my silly little guy i have feeligngs). i won't spoil that tho! anyways, he has ✨trauma✨ because of it (so does ritsu) and reigen actually helped him out with it, even tho he was kind of just making stuff up, he actually really helps mob and is like a mentor to him!

along the way, mob meets dimple - an evil spirit who started a cult and then follows mob around everywhere!

teruki hanazawa (aka, teru) (today is his birthday!) - a fellow middle schooler esper except this boy is so very cocky and beats up thugs! he gets in a big fight with mob but the fight is very one-sided! they become besties <3

the plot really thickens in s1 at the bg clean up arc! ritsu is just a normal middle schooler - he's on the student council, he's *popular* (lol not really but he Is but he Isn't), he's good at sports, his grades are amazing... he's everything mob wishes he was. and yet... mob is everything ritsu wishes he was. all ritsu wants is psychic powers. he has a MAJOR inferiority complex.

luckily, he gets so stressed out about framing a middle schooler for stealing girls' recorder mouthpieces to lick them that he develops psychic powers! dimple manipulates him for a bit, ritsu has a breakdown, someone tries conning mob into giving them five million yen, ritsu starts becoming like teru was...

anyways, he ends up going to a facility that's trying to like... learn how to develop psychic powers and meets other kids with powers there (he goes under mob's name because he was mistaken for mob - he starts before he develops his powers) and that facility is how this organization called "CLAW" finds him.

CLAW is made up of *mostly* adult espers and they like... want to take over the world lol

also mob is in love with tsubomi but is a wuss (affectionate), he joins the body improvement club instead of the telepathy club because he just wants muscles and that pisses tome off (tome is the telepathy club president and she just wants to meet aliens <3), reiegn is conning people, teru gets a wig... it's a lovely show <3

[thearcanecat]

ok, I have a really interesting DND villain idea: a fire and brimstone preacher who quotes the bible for his spells. like he'll say "Numbers 21:6: 'Then the Lord sent poisonous snakes among the people, and they bit them so that many Israelites died.'" and he summons snakes or smt.

Oooh! It makes me think druid, for summoning. Also, the KJV calls them “fiery serpents” which could also be fun. Maybe some summon elemental along with the animals/beasts. Maybe a cleric multi class for thematic appropriateness. From the plagues of Egypt you could get frogs (probably conjure animals) and locusts (infestation or swarm keeper ranger?). There’s also Daniel in the lion’s den, maybe the golden lion figurines of wondrous power. And of course Noah’s arc has every animal ever.

Okay now time to ramble aimlessly about DND and church. Because I have stories. And I was going to put this in the tags. And then I found out there was a tag limit. So they are going here now.

So, my church youth group had a campaign for a while. Because for a long time the only two people who showed up were me and this other kid we’ll call Isaiah (because that was his character’s name) and me. We both play DND and the youth pastor wanted to connect with us so she found a module that was us playing the shepherds that go find baby Jesus. And there’s some evil dragon that’s a metaphor for all the bad stuff. Like if we the players make evil choices such as killing people, the dragon gets more powerful. So, Isaiah has a brother and they do not get along. They bicker all the time Like every word that comes out of their mouth has to be a barb at the other. And the GM gave Isaiah a luck sword, even thought it was very op for our level. Because she thought he would never use use the wish because of choice paralysis. But the we fought the dragon. And it was really bad. Like several people were down and barely getting healed each turn. And health potions ran out. And Isaiah’s brother’s character died. And we did not have diamonds for revivify. So Isaiah uses his one wish to bring him brother’s character back to life. And it just made me very happy that they could get along. And I could write an essay on the positive benefits of playing DND with youth. And this would be the anecdote at the very beginning.

Also, I played a bard for this campaign and made the mistake of not having a damaging cantrip. So when I ran out of spells I had to find a rock to throw. And the GM had me roll every time. And I could not find any rocks. Ever. Not one. It was the joke with my character. Like the others would give her rocks before a fight because we all knew I wasn’t going to be able to find any.

I’ve also played DND at the Christian summer camp I go to. A lot of staff play, and I have two friends who do as well. So our first one-shot was the post Covid year. Because we had a small enough group that it was feasible. We can’t turn people away because camp. It was still a way to big group like 7-8 players and more people watching. But it was fun. The GM made a little dragon from air dry clay and he’s still in the youth room. My friend played A-Aron the Bird, who was a chaotic like goblin. They stole the show.

Second time was last year. The camp changed how they did free time so there was a structured time as well. And the week that my friends and I went we pitched DND, because we wanted to do it. So one of the counselors ran a table for the middle schoolers and one of my friends ran one based on the summer camp. There were so many inside jokes, like one of the buildings on site was a mimic and one of the counselors was an old wizard (because he totally is). And all our weapons were based on camp stuff. Like my character had a whip that was made of lanyard string and health potions were this one caffeinated tea everyone at camp drinks. And it was super fun! I’m going to be on staff this year and want to see if I can help run a DND elective because I would love that.

Finally, please pretend I answered this ask on time.

[rainbowfurbylove]

      Dasni woke up in his bed,  alone. He was a twink with a major obsession with cock and ball torture. He was also a he/him lesbian. He loved getting butt fucked. He wished his crush, would butt fuk him, perchance, mayhaps, even. His crush was Fiji, the most popular water in school. “Erm…” Dasani-chan started flicking his bean. It was suuuuuper small. It's like two inches. “UWU I wish Elijah could see my cock. He’d relate sooooooo much!” Elijah was Dasani-chan’s bestie, uwu. “DESsuSUUUUUUUUUUU” Dasani-chan screamed as he creamed. He also squirted because he's a water bottle. He wanted Fiji to impregnate him. Then he heard his mommy wommy calling him from downstairs. It was feeding time, it was time for him to suckle upon the breast of his creator for sustenance. He also had an e-girl Tumblr. He went downstairs to see his mother with her tits out. His mom is Tucker Carlson by the way. “Come hither my offspring, your nutrition is ready.” Said Tucker Carlson. Dasani-chan crawled to his spawn point and began to greedily suck the tit juice from his mommy. “Now go and get ready for school, you abomination to god.”

Dasani-chan went back up to his room which was the bathroom because he liked to sleep in the bathtub at night and sippy sip on the toilet water when he got thirsty. When he got to his room he put on his maid outfit and his 12-inch platform boots. He then grabbed his bookbag and went outside to the bus stop to wait for his bus. Dasani-chan was a 14-year-old freshman who went to Ligma Balls High School. Or lbhs for short. The atmosphere of the school was kind of depressing tbh. Everyone was still recovering from young Ben shapiro’s suicide. He overdosed on Flinstone’s gummies in the girl’s locker room. The story goes that he cheated on his boyfriend, Jesus, with the high school bad boy scooby doo. Jesus and Ben were the year above Dasani-chan. They never interacted much but Dasani-chan has biology with Jesus. Anyway, Jesus was treated as a god, or the son of god, due to his boyfriend offing himself. There was a portrait of Ben hanging in the cummins of the highschool. It looked really bad. Ben was wearing a pink maid outfit. 

Dasani-chan headed over to his locker. He opened it up and saw Jesus inside. Jesus stepped out from the locker with a somber face. “Uh, hey there baby girl.” Jesus said with finger guns. He flirted with everyone, it was his thing, he was just hot. “Errrrm, how can I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I h-help you, sir?” Dasani-chan stuttered. “I hear you have an A+ in Biology, I was thinking maybe you could help me on a project.” “ERRRRm….” *Dasani-chan shit himself from nervousness, he could feel the liquid shit running down his nonexistent leg*..... “Suuuuure, but I have one request *tips fedora*” “Oh sure anything.” Jesus said with excitement. “I would like you, to be my wingman in my pursuit of the lady gentleman known as Fiji Water.” Dasani-chan said. “Ummmm, aren’t you guys related?” Jesus asked, Dasani-chan gave him a look that shut him up. “Ok, you’ve got a deal” Jesus said. Jesus turned and walked away. You could see the waistband of his Hanes boxers peeking out from his skin-tight black jeans that he could barely walk in. Rumor has it that he used to wear tighty whities but he changed after Ben’s death. He’s just that bitch(tm) now. 

Fast forward to biology class. Dasani-chan sat down in the back of the classroom and proceeded to take a nice long sip of his cumminade. This was a new energy drink that was super popular and hip with the middle schoolers these days. It was made by dream so all these kids were running around screaming “THAT’S WHAT The MASK IS!!! THAT’S WHAT THE POINT OF THE MASK IS.”. Dasani-chan’s little brother, Britta, was obsessed with the Dream smp even though they broke up and are now irrelevant, because dream touched children. 

Jesus strutted over to Dasani-chan and said, “Heeeeey there Baby gourl.” He had to say it like shrek so dasani-chan knew he was kidding. Jesus was too hot for him. Jesus had standards. He is LITERALLY the son of GOD. Rumor has it he stole God’s credit card and bought a dodge hellcat and a bunch of mods. Don’t worry, He’s insured. “S-s-so…. Erm…. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING OF FOR THIS PROJECT?!?!?!” Dasani-chan yelled/stuttered while he shit himself because he only eats copious amounts of laxative chocolates. “Eww what is that smell?” said Jesus. “O-o-o-oh I just have the runs if you know, you know.” Jesus looked at him disgusted. 

Dasani-chan had already finished his project so Jesus just started copying off of him, but with bigger and better words. Dasani-chan was quite illiterate. “Anyway strawberry shortcake is throwing one of her parties….. Fiji will probably be there. I can get you ready, plus I have all exclusive access to the basement.” said Jesus. “Golly gosh son of god that sounds like a real spectacle!” Said the bottled H2O “Never say some stupid ass shit like that again you fucking dumbass.” “Sorry, I'm just so excited for this party.” “Alright, you can meet me at my place at 4:00 pm tonight so we can start to get ready for the party. My address is 420 analwart cream dr.” “Rightio daddio, I’ll be there in a jiffy.” Dasani-chan jumps out the window and starts running off into the distance. “What the actual fuck is wrong with him?” said Jesus.

Jesus walks into his house and straight to the fridge. His mother was at the hospital doing brain surgery. She works very long hours. He opens the fridge to find Dasani-chan. “WHAT THE FUCK, How’d you get into my house?!” Jesus exclaimed. “SSHHHhHHhhhhhhhhh…… You don’t want the mice to hear…” Dasani-chan said while shushing Jesus with a carrot. “WHat? There are no mice here.” Jesus said. “Were….” Dasani-chan said. Jesus rushed Dasani into his room before he could do any more damage. 

The two start getting ready for the party. Jesus gave Dasani-chan his Happy Daze shirt. Jesus was quite perplexed as to what to do with Dasani-chan. He was just a water bottle. He had no face. Jesus settled for just sticking some fake eyelashes where he thought Dasani-chan’s eyes should be. “Ermm… do you have any of those little chocolate laxatives? I can feel my wittle tummy grumbling.” Dasani-chan asked shamelessly. “Uuuuuh, No? My mom might…. Um I’ll be right back…..” Jesus said. ‘“What the fuck have I gotten myself into….” Thought Jesus. 

              Jesus came back into the room with Dasani’s laxatives. Dasani somehow ate them despite not having a mouth. “Ok, so listen, I’m not really allowed to have friends over, so you’re gonna have to leave. This was a lie. “Ope okie dolkie uwu. Dasani-Chan waddled out the door. Dasani-waddled his way the 3 miles down the road to his house and barged through the door. “I’m home mommy wommy!!!!! Tucker Carlson didn’t answer. She was probably busy filming a collab with James Charles or some shit idk.

Dasani-chan waddled into his room, leaving a trail of liquid shit behind him. He went in his room and chugged a bucket of his own homemade cumminade. He then spent the rest of the time until the party rewatching Ron Desantis cock and ball torture porn. A few hours later, it was time for Dasani-chan to leave. He waddled out the door, layed on his side, and started rolling on down the street. 

Dasani-chan was able to sneak passed the security at the party. The first thing he did once he was on the inside was locate the bathroom. He raided the bathroom of any and all laxatives, chocolate or not. He was a hungry lesbian. He then made his way out to the dance floor and started busting it down sexual style. Dasani-chan noticed that Jesus had arrived, and tried to fight his way through the crowed to go see him, he was unsuccessful. It was at that moment he noticed his crush, Fiji-senpai, dancing in a corner. Dasani-waddled his way over to him, with a shit eating grin on his face. 

Fiji noticed him and tried to get away,  but Dasani-chan managed to corner him. “H-h-hey there daddy waddy!!!” he said. Fiji looked at him in horror. “Would you like to come dance with whittle old meeehhhh?!?!?!” Dasani-chan asked, in his anime voice. “Ummm I think I’m good, thanks tho.” Fiji answered with a look of disgust on his face. Dasani-chan then proceeded to start rolling around on the floor crying while screaming “PWEEEAASE DANCE WITH ME UWUWU!!!!”. People started to look over. “Hey there bro, what’s good?” Jesus was standing over Dasani-chan. “You know this loser?” Fiji asked Jesus. Jesus leaned in and whispered something to Fiji. Fiji looked back down at Dasani-chan and said,”Fine, I’ll dance with you, but only if you shut tf up.” Dasani looked up at him, with Tears in his eyes, and smiled. “Weeeally????” Fiji looked to Jesus for help but he was nowhere to be found. Dasani-chan and Fiji then started waddling around in circles, the closest thing to a slow dance. Dasani-chan was so excited. He could feel his two-inch member growing. He started making small anime girl moans. He then felt the warm, arousing, feeling of shit running down his non-existent pant leg. As the shit hit the floor, He shot a load of his baby batter onto the floor, right in front of Fiji-senpai. Someone in the room started screaming, and the rest of the room followed suit. “Oooopsi poopsie dooopsi…I made a poopoo mess on the ground. UWU!!!!.” Dasani-chan said. Fiji-senpai then looked at him, paused, and then smirked. “Hey, that was kind of hot, how about we go somewhere more private?”. Fiji then led Dasani-chan upstairs to one of the bedrooms.

They went upstairs to the master bedroom. Fiji-senpai looked down at Dasnsin-chan’s shit-covered cock. It was throbbing and pulsating with excitement. Fiji-senpai then took his tiny dick, which was about the length of his tongue, and put it in his mouth. His shit tasted like a colonoscopy. He licked Dasani-chan’s dick cleaner than a Mexican lady could clean a house.

Dasani’s cock was so small, smaller than your average white man’s cock. You see, Dasani-chan suffered from ED. Also known as erectile dysfunction. Even when it was hard it was somehow still soft and flaccid and cold. It was very sad. Fiji-senpai then rolled Dasani-chan over and just started pounding away at his plastic bubble butt. Dasani-chan had an absolute DUMPY. He actually had a Brazilian butt lift when he was 7 years old. Shortly after that Fiji-chan came in his ass. 

After that absolute monstrosity of a scene, The pair went their separate ways. 

(In SpongeBob narrator's voice) Two Weeks LATER………

Dasani was walking through the halls of Ligma Ballz High, when he felt a rumbling in his tummy. He thought he was just having his normal day to day runs, but something was off. He was walking right in front of Ben Shapiro’s portrait, when a log of shit flew out of his ass, and hit the painting. Then something fell out of the ball of shit. It was a child. Dasani-chan decided to name it Aqualfina. He then shoved it in his backpack, and took it to class to show everyone. 

 In class

The health class teacher, Ms. Samsung WF45R6100AV Washer & Dve45r6100v Electric Dryer Front Load called everyone for their presentations on rabies. When it was Dasani’s turn, he enthusiastically bounced (fell?) off his seat with his bag that was leaking of shit and blood. He walked in front of the class. “Before I-I-I do my presentwation,” 

Danasi opens his zipper and dumps the  Aqualfina looked dehydrated, its watery insides evaporating in the 100 degree classroom. “He’ mwa new child!” Dasani squealed as he bounced up and down as the class looked at the snack-sized bloody child in disgust. Jesus smacked his face. “Why do I know this dumbass?”

“WHaT DOES THIS HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH RABIES?!?” Ms. Samsung WF45R6100AV Washer & Dve45r6100v Electric Dryer Front Load buzzed.

“H-h-h-h-h-h-h-he’s mwa favorite kind of rabies~” Dasani said as he gave Ms. Samsung WF45R6100AV Washer & Dve45r6100v Electric Dryer Front Load puppy eyes. Ms. Samsung WF45R6100AV Washer & Dve45r6100v Electric Dryer Front Load goes into heavy load and explodes it’s insides with sheer irrational teacher anger.

“DeTeNTION!” 

Dasani rolled on the ground, whining. “But wwhhhyyyy?”

After about fifteen minutes of that debauchery, Dasani just flung himself out the window, and rolled down the street, where he jumped through the window of the Spanish room. 

[kageyuji]

secretly dating (until you forget his camera is on)

⤷ atsumu, oikawa, iwaizumi, suna ; [gn!reader]

warnings/genre: secret dating trope, fluff, crack if you squint, ‘baby’ used as a petname (iwaizumi)

notes: reblogs are super helpful !! so pls reblog ;-; i’ll kiss you, not clickbait

━━ atsumu;

good luck </3

atsumu.exe has stopped working

he probably panics and leaves the class LMAO

still doesn’t change the fact that people realized what was happening; his phone lit up with several notifications from people

stepping into his room, you saw your boyfriend half asleep at his desk. he lifted his head at the sound of his bedroom door clicking open, humming softly. you smiled at him — he was adorable when he looked so sleepy.

“hey,” you said, setting your bag by the door.

you walked by him, kissing the top of his head as you went. he hummed softly again, smiling. after ruffling his hair, you continued to make your way to his bed. you sat cross-legged at the foot of it, waiting for him to finish whatever it was he was working on.

a chime was heard in the room, followed by two more. curiously, you looked towards his phone. he did too, a similar look of confusion on his face.

then his eyes widened, and he quickly moved to click the ‘end call’ button on his computer screen.

“what’s wrong?”

you moved to peek at his phone. he’d unlocked it and showed you the message from suna before you’d even made your way over to his desk though.

“angel, i had my camera on.”

“oh. just tell them you’re studying with me or something.”

“no, i mean,” he looked worried. “you kissed me. on the head, sure, but you wouldn’t do that if we were ‘just studying’.”

the reason you’d decided to keep your relationship a secret was something he’d done to protect you. he loved you, and he of course he wouldn’t let you doubt yourself.

that didn’t change the fact that his fans could get a little... possessive.

you hummed, stepping forward to kiss his forehead. “it’s fine. i know not to believe petty, jealous little middle schoolers.”

he laughed at that. “alright then. but... tell me if something happens, okay?”

━━ oikawa;

ngl a part of him was alright with this

he knew how protective his fans could get, and he hated the idea of one of them getting under your skin

but then again, he likes people to know you’re his, and that he’s yours

so he might be a little flustered at first, but he won’t deny it

“oh, tooru, listen. so-”

whenever you walked into his room, you hadn’t paid any attention to the fact that oikawa was still in class. but you heard the quick snap of his finger, looked up at him pointing at his computer.

“oh,” you say. a lot quieter this time. “sorry, baby.”

you try to be quiet about stepping out of your shoes. oikawa looked terrified though, so you were quick to walk over to him. that was when you noticed that there seemed to only be a few people in his class.

no, that wasn’t right, you realize. they were working on a project together — you’d heard oikawa complaining about it the other night. which means that his camera was on, and so was his mic.

“was that y/n?” iwaizumi’s voice sounded.

“uhm.” oikawa really couldn’t say anything else. he cleared his throat, then looked over to you. his chair rolled over to you a little grabbing you by the wrist and pulling you back over to him.

his hands found your hips and he pulled you down onto his lap. still, he didn’t answer anyone. he just hooked his chin over your shoulder and smiled.

“lucky bastard.”

━━ iwaizumi;

he doesn’t care that much honestly — it was a mutual decision to keep the relationship quiet, neither of you wanted the attention that it would inevitably bring

after all, seijoh’s ace didn’t seem like the soft or romantic type

(he is, to the point that it surprises even him sometimes)

he’s not concerned for himself, he just doesn’t want you to be upset with him over it

“y/n? could you hand me a pen? should be on the nightstand.” iwa muttered, right after the ding signifying that he’d joined his class.

your eyes followed where he was pointing, and you reached over to grab the pen he was referring to.

“here.” you tossed the pen over to him.

he caught it with ease, clicking it and turning back around to face his desk. “thank you, baby.”

it was quiet for another second or two, and then you heard iwaizumi’s phone start to ding. hearing the noise twice made you look up, a third and fourth time coaxed you to crawl across the bed. a fifth made you speak.

“who is that?”

he just hummed, reaching for his phone. oikawa had a habit of double texting, which iwaizumi didn’t really mind, but he was supposed to be in class at the moment and didn’t want to get distracted.

and then his eyebrows shot up his forehead. quickly, he looked towards his computer, and you watched him click the camera and mic buttons. as they turned red, you realized.

“did... did you forgot to turn off your camera?”

“and my mic.” he said with a sigh, running a hand through his hair.

you could see the annoyance on his face. if you didn’t know iwaizumi as well as you do, you might have assumed all of it was annoyance. but it wasn’t — there was worry pooling in his stomach.

“are they off now?”

“yeah.”

you stepped off of his bed and padded over to where he was at his desk. your arms wrapped around his neck, pressing a kiss to his temple.

“it’s fine. we can ignore them, kisses might distract us, no?”

“that is an option, yes.”

━━ suna;

suna loves you, which is why he wanted to keep the relationship a secret

while most of inarizaki’s fans fawned over the twins, particularly atsumu, it didn’t mean suna was without his own fans

besides, the attention that came with it wasn’t really something he wanted

whether that be from fans or his own friends

“rin,” you whined, stepping into his room.

you found him sitting on his bed, his computer in his lap and his back leaning onto the headboard. a smile tugged at the corner of his lips when he looked over to you.

“hi, angel. what’s wrong?”

“tired.” you groaned, and made your way over to him.

he moved his computer off of his lap and patted the bed beside himself. you took that as an invitation to cuddle, so you moved over to lay beside him.

your back was pressed against his chest and one of his hands was wrapped around your waist. he propped his head up with his other arm.

he could see the computer from this position, but he couldn’t be bothered to turn over and check his phone. it was blowing up with notifications, but he figured it was just atsumu or someone yelling about something else.

“are you gonna look?” you said, though there was a slight slur to your voice; sleep was already beginning to takeover.

suna huffed and turned over, and before you could ask him what the notifications were about, he reaching over you to you his computer. you watched the camera button on his computer turn red and realized it’d been on.

“did- was that on the whole time?”

he gave you an apologetic look. “yeah, i didn’t-”

you shook your head. “jus let me nap. can worry about everythin’ later.”

he smiled and hummed, then wrapped his arm around you again. he pulled you into his chest and kissed the top of your head. “yeah, of course. sweet dreams.”

[introvert--weeb]

Tokyo Revengers Boys with a s/o who competes in dirt bike competitions

Mikey, Draken, Mitsuya, Baji

TW: none

---

Mikey

Mikey would only find out when he had come around to your house for the first time.

You had left your boyfriend in your room alone as you went to collect some refreshments for the two of you. Mikey had taken this as an opportunity to look at the stuff you had displayed on your shelves.

Books, mangas, the usual stuff he would expect in a middle schoolers room. That was until he noticed the trophies you had standing together on the shelf over your desk.

Curiosity got the better of him as Mikey reached out to take one of them to inspect. Just as his hand connected with the nearest one, the door to your room opened to reveal you with your arms filled with packets of snacks.

"You wanna look at them?" Even though you had caught the blond snooping, you weren't in the slightest annoyed. In fact, you hated to admit that a bubble of pride had surfaced in your chest at the fact he was trying to look at your trophies.

Mikey simply nodded, bringing the one trophy in his hand off the shelf so that he could examine the engraving. It surprised him to see that it was a first place award for a dirt bike MX race. After all, you didn't have a bike, right?

"You ride dirt bikes?" You simply gave a grin before confirming that you in fact did.

The rest of his time at your house was spent with you showing off your dirt bike and explaining all of your trophies. Mikey would be a proud boyfriend at your accomplishments, so much so where he bragged about you to most of Toman.

Will be the type of boyfriend who will drag his friends to your races just to cheer you on. He will always wait at the finish point to congratulate you, your favourite snack in hand.

Draken

You had gone to visit your amazing boyfriend at his bike shop, a bento made with care tucked in your backpack. This was a regular occurrence, so much so where Draken would be disappointed if you didn't come over as you had other things to do.

As you were off to practice for the next MX race taking place in a few weeks, you had decided to ride your dirt bike to the shop. Not thinking how Draken had yet to see your precious baby, you simply parked it right outside the shop opening.

"Kenny? Babe, I've brought you a bento!" You called out to the male, noticing his head pop up from behind some shelves of tools. You noticed how his eyes lit up when you had mentioned the bento, a small giggle escaping past your lips. He reminded you a little of young Mikey sometimes.

"Thanks babe," Draken placed a quick peck on your cheek, hands taking the box from your own before his eyes caught sight of your bike. Confused, he made his way towards the vehicle before looking around for the owner, even more confused when no-one but you had turned up.

"You like her?" You smirked in amusement at Draken's face as realisation hit him. His eyes widened slightly and he was speechless. He could never have guessed that his partner was into extreme sports like dirt bikes. "Anyway, Ken, I really need to head off to the track soon."

"Didn't realised you rode. When were you gonna tell me about this, huh?" You simply grinned sheepishly at your boyfriend, his amused smirk making your heart skip a beat. Your heart couldn't handle how much you loved the former delinquent.

After your 'secret' had been revealed to your bike loving boyfriend, he would accompany you when he could spare the time to watch you ride around the course. When you had races, he would attend each one, either by himself or with some of the other former Toman members.

Super proud boyfriend. He would provide free check ups for your bike, even adding his signature dragon tattoo on the sides so you are reminded of him every time you are riding.

Mitsuya

Mitsuya was planning on surprising you by turning up at your house unannounced, expecting you to be in your room doing some studying or more likely, binging your favourite show. After all, it was a Saturday and that is how you would spend your days without any plans.

So he was seriously surprised to turn up and find you tinkering with your bike, making sure that the parts were all in working condition. You didn't seem to notice your boyfriend pull up a few feet away from where you were working, your mind focused solely on the checks you had to complete.

"What you doing, sweetheart?" Mitsuya called out to you, trying to hide the amusement he felt when you jumped out of your skin. You seriously weren't expecting anyone to break your concentration, especially not your boyfriend. While it melted your heart that the boy had taken the time to come and visit you, you were trying to use your spare time to prepare for the upcoming MX race.

"Just making sure my bike is in competing condition..." You mumbled, glancing over to the purple haired male as he titled his head to the side a little. Since when did you ride? And especially a dirt bike? Competing? Too many questions were filling Mitsuya's head at what you had replied with.

"Competing?" Turning your attention away from the machine towards Takashi, you gave a small smile as your mind relaxed. You felt like you could breathe now that your loving boyfriend was around and your thoughts weren't filled with what ifs.

"There's an upcoming race that I have entered. I just need to make sure my bike is in good enough condition to ride," and with that explanation, a small smile graced the boy's face. He had a mixture of feelings bubbling inside him; part of him was proud that you rode as well, but another part was concerned over you getting hurt.

The conversation you both had revolved around your riding and racing experience, explaining how you had won a few small competitions when you were younger and just carried on the hobby. Your eyes seemed to shine the more you recollected memories of your past races, Mitsuya noted. His heart fluttered as he watched how enthusiastic you were when talking about dirt bike riding.

When the race had come along, Mitsuya had convinced a few members of Toman to join him and his sisters in cheering you on. Would even design and make you a jacket for you to wear when riding. Proud boyfriend when he heard his friends say how good you were and even more when you had come in first. Quick to check you over for injuries and provide you with a bottle of water. His sisters thought it was so cool and insisted on coming along to watch you practice in the future.

Baji

You seemed to be getting more and more random bruises on your arms and legs, Baji noticed. He wasn't so much concerned as he was curious on where they were coming from. Were you out beating up gangs all on your own without him? If so, you had a lot of explaining to do as he would love to get in on that action.

Instead of asking you about them, he decided he would follow you in case his assumption was right and he could jump in to help. You had left school not that long ago, your boyfriend riding his motorbike while you clung to the back of him. Bidding you a usual goodbye with a kiss to your forehead, he was quick to hide himself and his bike behind a wall once you had entered your house.

It was really only a gamble if you would leave the house again. Baji knew this but his curiosity was keeping him there. However, the gamble paid off as you finally left your home on your bike.

That is what surprised the boy. You had never said you could ride. In fact, you usually rode behind him on his bike when you both went out for late night rides together. If he had known you could ride, he might have insisted on you riding your bike alongside him. After all, you both could race each other around Shinjuku.

Starting up his own bike again, he followed behind you as you were heading to your destination. The more he observed you on your bike, he could tell that you had been riding for a while. But he also noticed how your bike was different from the ones he and the others at Toman rode.

You arrived at the practice area you would frequently visit on your bike. Being a Freestyle dirt bike rider meant that you had to spend a lot of time perfecting your jumps and flips. Adjusting your helmet, you revved your bike and sped down the ramps, gaining enough momentum to send you in the air long enough to do your trick.

Baji had stopped a little way away from you, close enough where he could clearly watch you but out of sight so you didn't get distracted by seeing him. After all, he wasn't meant to be there. He couldn't believe him eyes though when he saw you performing some of the flips. You were amazing in his eyes, especially when you successfully landed. So this must be where your bruises were coming from.

The next day at school, Baji had confessed to you that he had followed you and saw you practicing on your bike. At first you were embarrassed, especially when he was gushing about how cool you were when completing your flips. Especially with how you were still so young and able to do these insane feats.

The next freestyle competition you had entered, Baji had dragged Chifuyu with him to support you and watch how amazing you were. While you didn't win, Baji couldn't be more proud of you and congratulated you for competing by peppering kisses all over your face. Definitely a boyfriend who would brag to anyone who would listen.

[inupibaldspot]

Letters and Fights

Request by : @aliendoggo

Paring : Baji x Female Reader.

Synopsis: You kick Baji and then help him write a letter to make up for it

Baji has had enough! He huffed as he walked along a path which led him to a quiet place a bit out of school campus which had an area covered with bushes and trees. I'll write my letter here.

Chifuyu always helped Baji when he wrote his letters but yesterday the former ended up laughing at the way Baji made an error on his letter which was so not cool of him. Baji thought.

Now Baji was walking to this quiet area where he was sure not many people would come and interrupt him.

So he pulled out his pen placing a paper on top of a book and started writing.

Deer Kazutora,

Recently I have been studying queet a lot, I even brought glasses.

Mickey and Draken said people who wear glasses are more intilijent.

Baji was going to continue more when-. "Meow~" His ears perked at the tiny sound and he started looking around.From the corner of his eyes, he saw movement in the bushes so he started making his way.

A small kitten popped its head out and looked at him,meowing. Baji laughed to himself making him extend his hand and gently starts petting it. "Hey there."

The kitten leaned into his touching making Baji melt on the spot. Upon hearing the kitten still meowing, he smiled. "I'll bring you some food later- URK!"

Baji was sent flying. He cursed as he pulled himself up. That kick was probably as strong as Mikey's. He thought as spit out the blood he had formed in his mouth.

"You're the one who did that to Mayo aren't you?" The person started pointing at him.

"The hell?" Baji whispered in confusion as to why a girl popped out of blue,kicked him several feet away and now was shouting at him. Plus why is this girl so strong?!

"I can't believe people like you exist?! What did the Mayo even do to you?" The girl shook her head.

Baji snapped. "Who the hell are you and Who the hell is Mayo? I was just writing a letter when you suddenly came here and kicked the shit outta me!"

The person's expression flattered. "You're not the one... Ehh?" The person trailed her eyes to indeed see some stationaries lying around.

The girl suddenly did a deep bow. "I'm sorry! Recently someone has been harassing the kitten over there and even taped her mouth so that she couldn't eat." They explained. "I came up here and saw you near the kitten and thought it was you who did those."

"My name is Y/N and the kitten over there is Mayo..." You introduced yourself.

"My name is Baji Keisuke." Baji sighed, his anger dissipating. I mean... They were just looking after the cat.

"By the way I just peaked into your letter and..." You nervously played with your hand. "You have a lot of spelling errors over there."

"Wait really?" Baji approached you and picked up the letter as he leaned towards you. "Which part?"

You picked up the pen which was on the ground and pointed at the errors. "Here and here... this part too."

You suddenly beamed,clapping your hands together in realization. "How about I help you proof read your letter as a way of apologizing for the kick earlier?"

Baji beamed at the suggestion. "You will? Thanks!"

This meeting continued even after Baji finished writing his letter. Y/N said she'll always be there to help him with his studies so it became a sort of regular meeting between Y/N, Baji and Mayo.

When Baji would write his letters, you will be playing with Mayo but when you started proof reading Baji would be the one playing with Mayo instead. Baji enjoyed these moments a lot.

The way you would patiently explain where he made mistakes, the way you scrunched your nose figuring out his handwriting, the way you made baby voices when talking to Mayo. All of these made Baji feel happy? Relaxed? Content? He wondered what word could be used to describe what he was feeling.

Baji walked to their usual spot but instead of you,he saw a group of boy. There were six students and from their uniforms he could guess that they were High School Students.

A sharp cry of a cat was heard followed by laughters. On a closer look one of the boys had Mayo held whereas the poor kitten was obviously struggling. Your words on how Mayo had tape stuck on her mouth flashed into his brain.

"Damn,this cat won't stop struggling." One of the boys said. "Maybe we should tape it's limbs this time."

Suddenly a large impact was felt on his face making him drop the kitten. "What the hell?!"

"What were you doing with Mayo?!"

Baji went into crazy mode as he jumped on the boy and punching him until he passed out. The remaining boys also joins the fight.

Don't get me wrong. Baji is strong but right now he was heavily outnumbered and his opponents were high school students. They were physically bigger putting Baji in a disadvantage since Baji was only in middle school.

"Shit..." Baji huffed as his vision start to blur. He managed to beat two more of the high schooler but then three more still remained. One of him hit Baji hard making him fall onto the ground.

"You need some help?" Why the hell was he seeing you face? Just when Baji was about to pass out your face suddenly came into view.

"Go away, little girl~" The high school said in a mocking tone. Baji confirmed that you were indeed here and that he wasn't imagining anything.

"Guess you're the guys who were tormenting Mayo..."

"Mayo? Who the hell is Mayo-"

Before the boy could complete his sentence, you jumped at him,punching his face in. Before others could react you quickly turned to the other dude and kicked him,making him stumble.

The last high schooler ,taking advantage that your back was facing him was about to punch you when a suddenly blow was dealt. You turned to see a smirking Baji. "Y/N,are you a gorilla or something? Why are you so strong?"

You gasped at him. "Why would you ever call a girl gorilla?" You asked as you started punching a guy who was bout to stand up making Baji laugh loudly.

Both you and Baji huffed as you sat side by side after you finally beat the shit out of high schoolers. You turned to look at Baji. “Gonna write a letter to Kazutora-san again?”

Baji smirked and nodded. “I’m going to write everything that’s happening around so that when he comes back he wouldn’t need to try and catch up. It’ll be as if he never left in the first place!”

You smiled as you started rubbing you hand on Mayo’s head. “You’re a nice friend, Baji...”

After that both you and Baji did your usual thing.

Dear Kazutora,

I’ve made a new friend. Her name is Y/N.

And get this! She is super strong. Just now we beat the shit out of six HIGH SCHOOLERS.

I can’t wait to introduce her to you when you come back.

Y/N loves animals a lot too. Right now she is taking care of a stray cat but then she is sad since she can’t take the cat home because her mother doesn’t like them.

She is very fun to be with and smiles a lot!

Baji left a weight on his shoulder to see that you had fallen asleep on his shoulder. Mayo on your lap had fallen asleep too. Your lips were slightly open making you look adorable.

Right now she is totally passed out. Hopefully she doesn’t drool on my shoulder. Do you think she would get angry if I drew a beard on her?

Her mouth is slightly open and I think she looks cute.

Although she fights scary, Y/N is quite pretty. When ever she smiles, she closes her eyes making her look kinda adorable-

“Are you done, Baji?”

Baji flinched as he quickly stood up making you almost fall since your support stood up. “What the hell? Why did you get you so suddenly?!” You complained.

Baji quickly crumbled the paper he had written on and laughed nervously looking at you. “I did a self check and found too many errors. So I’m going to write it again.”

You noticed that his ears were rather red.

.....

“Hanaemiya Kazutora. A letter arrived for you...”

Dear Kazutora,

I made a new friend. Her name is Y/N.

She fights like a gorilla and looks like one as well. Living up to that nickname ,she is quite strong.

#GirlBoss

With love,

Baji Keisuke.

Kazutora tilted his head,confused as to why his friend had suddenly written about a girl and keeps calling her a gorilla.

[in-tua-deep]

Are you into my hero academia? What about an AU or crossover with tua?

UHHHH I am technically, like, peripherally? I watched some seasons of the show like two or three years ago and since then have simply absorbed all content through osmosis, reading fanfiction that has canon events, and my sister telling me about the arcs of her fav characters lmao

so a crossover hmmm

First of all you'd have to like, establish whether bnha is an alternate universe or just The Future If No Apocalypse with quirks being traced back to the descendants of the kids born without mothers

So let's say it's that - the glowing baby was the "first quirk" but the truth is people had powers before that. But - well, the Umbrella Academy was obviously a marketing gimmick to those in the future! There were even comics based on them

In the future, you might find some of those comics in museum exhibits dedicated to depictions of powers in the pre-quirk era, but they're just fun depictions and much less popular than, oh, DC or MCU comics which are also in the exhibits!

End of s2 doesn't happen I guess in this au?? No sparrow academy at least lmao. So, the Umbrella Academy stop the apocalypse (again) and the Commission threat is? Neutralized? Whatever. They decide to jump back to the future

Five warns them that time travel is a crapshoot, that he has no fucking idea when they'll land beyond some nebulous "future" because Five can at least control the direction if not exactly how long

Also, Five is like. Super tired. Incredibly tired. Homeboy still has a healing gut wound, time traveled twice, has been jumping all over the place, gotten even more injured, experienced paradox psychosis, and managed to undo time all in the space of like, two weeks. There actually more than that but we don't have time to get into how fucking tired Five is from his ~Month of Hell

Like genuinely this is like putting someone almost delirious from lack of sleep in the driver's seat of a car and expecting to get to your destination in one piece

But hey, the siblings are like "do it uwu" and Five has sacrificed everything for them already so why not get behind the wheel again

So Five jumps them, and of course something goes wrong because Five has pushed his powers like a great big rubber band and honestly it was only a matter of time before he lost his grip and it snapped back to hit him

So here be the umbrella academy: spilled out into the future like a cup of bad coffee.

Five probably isn't in too good of shape tbh, like they're hundreds of years in the future (but hey at least confirmation of no apocalypse am I right) in a world full of superpowers and Five is like. bleeding from his ears and nose probably idk

Let's handwave a little bit - Reginald made them all polyglots so the squad all speak varying levels of Japanese. Allison is the best at it, Five is second best but tends to use more archaic words bc he had missions in Japan back when he was with the commission, and Klaus is third best.

(Ben is the worst bc he decided when he was 16-and-dead that he didn't have to do anything regarding lessons and maintenance and hasn't given a shit since - but also he's dead so)

So you have a bunch of weird adults with a bleeding child in like, an alley who have appeared from nowhere

so of course heroes get involved

Anyway, the squad get taken in and Five is conscious but like, barely? And he's not going to let himself get separated from his siblings again fuck-you-officer and there is a lot of confusion

anyway detective tsukauchi ends up getting involved and ends up having to hear this batshit story and be like "...truth." which sends all kinds of people scrambling because fucking time travel? Like yeah, it's been theorized to be a possible quirk but there's no recorded cases of any sort of time travel that is for more than 24 hours let alone hundreds of years

"I'm an adult." Five says sourly, "I just happened to be returned to my 13 year old body when I time traveled one time."

"True." Tsukauchi says, feeling his soul leave his body, but like. absently. the way he does when he's called in at 2am after getting off of work at midnight.

"I'm 58." Five says.

"Lie." Tsukauchi says, because this is a headcanon hill I will die on.

"I'm probably 58, but it was hard to keep track. I'm at least 50." Five corrects.

"True." Tsukauchi sighs like these six (seven? they keep referring to another sibling and Klaus said 'ghost' like that was fine and it registered as true and Tsukauchi is not nearly paid enough for this) are not giving him a migraine by just existing

on the bright side there's like, probably protocols in place for individuals who are Legally Chronologically Adults but thanks to quirks are Not Physically Or Not Mentally Adults with tests to determine if the individual needs a guardian or not

though i'm gonna be honest idk if Five would pass the test bc he literally cannot take care of himself at all, has never paid taxes or understands how to exist legally, and also his emotional maturity is stunted as all hell. also like. we don't actually know how much being in his thirteen-year-old body affects his mental state but yeAH Five is vibing

anyway Tsukauchi probably phones a friend on this bullshit because Time Travel Child alone is probably enough for the Hero Commission to be like "find a way to control and use it or nuke it from orbit" and that's not even touching whatever the fuck Klaus is doing (shit gets real once 'dead men tell no tales' stops being true) let ALONE Allison's whole deal

on the bright side like, at least Vanya isn't getting side-eyed that much bc Big Destructive Quirks aren't exactly unknown? if vanya wanted to i guess quirk suppressors exist for that until extensive training on how to control a super powerful quirk happens

Tsukauchi in the group chat: Aizawa please I am literally begging you to take this bullshit on

Aizawa: in this economy? with my class?

RatGod: lol we'll take them ;3c

Aizawa: no

Anyway they probably end up having to live at UA while Five insists on trying to get them home still and everyone else is like "oh hey we used to be child soldiers as well! (:" and Aizawa is like "i hate everything about this and everything about all of you but also like nedzu is making me interact with you so :/"

nedzu is out here vibing like "lol i just don't want the hero commission to get their little paws on these time traveling fuckers, i think you should make then teaching assistants or something"

honestly the siblings are probably like. figuring out how to function in the bnha universe and getting like, legally registered and stuff while Five ferally refuses bc that's like saying he's giving up on getting them home and he can do this

Recovery girl tries to heal him a little when he arrives and he passes out for two weeks like, immediately bc homeboy is running on fumes and spite at this point

also i think on principle it would be REALLY FUNNY if the squad got to tag along with the class bc like. Five is thirteen and the class are all 15. this does not sound like a large age gap. anyone who has interacted with teenagers know that the class would squint at Five and be like "who is this sassy lost middle schooler."

I feel like when I was a sophomore we were still like "freshman... babie" even though we were literally only one year older.

i think the difference between the umbrella academy and school kids would be pretty funny like. objectively the bnha kids are lowkey child soldiers?? like they're 15 and fighting villains but like, there's all this red tape and laws and stuff but,,, deku still be breaking his limbs in a child fighting ring against equally superpowered children for like. entertainment and sponsorships sooo

but also like Five would be like "oh cool when is the experimentation class"

"the what"

"you know, when your powers are pushed real hard by putting you in different terrible situations while your dad and sibling stand by with clipboards writing down the exact voltage it takes before you can't use your powers anymore when being electrocuted"

"hound dog's office is right there. therapy is available to you at any time. i need you to know this."

all might calls Luther "my boy" like one (1) time and Luther just breaks down crying probably because he is starved for positive attention

klaus and midnight get along like a literal house on fire, aizawa tried his best to keep them apart for as long as possible but god damn

(klaus: your name is shimura nana??

all might: immediately dies choking on blood)

i feel it absolutely necessary to point out that aizawa, present mic, and midnight are all like, 30? and the umbrella academy are all between 29-early 30s? they are PEERS but like. the umbrella academy are more chaotic due to childhood trauma

the umbrella academy probably get offered to like. also train to be heroes. i mean,, there HAS to be some sort of track for people who change careers right?? you don't have to cement your future as a hero when you're 15 i'm sure there must be something and the squad already have experience if they want to go be legal heroes

diego probably does at least?? diego just vibes honestly. diego gets momo to make knives during a team exercise and they just go feral on everyone else and it ends with diego highfiving momo and someone getting way to close to being stabbed for comfort

Five might just be. legally enrolled as an Actual Student? But also i think it's funny to picture the entire squad just. all in the back of the classroom with luther trying to fit into a high school desk as they take notes on the laws of The Future surrounding heroics

every word out of the umbrella academy's mouths just make everyone more concerned on principal but like, five and klaus are probably the worst offenders. Klaus just says whatever comes to mind with no filter and Five doesn't get what people would consider to be abnormal anymore like

Five: yeah our dad bought us when we were babies and experimented on us throughout our childhood in order to make an elite team of child soldiers superheroes, it happens

Todoroki: ...have you heard of quirk marriages?

izuku probably has an aneurism bc he's is the only person who might recognize them from the comics because you know ya boy extensively researched the idea of heroics in pre-quirk eras (batman was an inspiration alright???) and might dredge up a memory of a less popular comic series

Five: I can time travel but it is very hard, which is why we are hundreds of years in the future. And why I look like a child.

Kaminari: so are you a kid or not?

Five, serenely: whatever is most convenient for me at any given moment

Mina: hell yeah game the system

they have a brief lesson on astronomy and Luther raises his hand like "ooh! i was isolated on the moon for four years and did SO MUCH research" and then just gets up and starts infodumping like way too much information on the moon

Izuku sitting there like "damn if quirks hadn't popped up we could have achieved so much in terms of space travel. please tell me more giant man who lived in pre-quirk era."

Vanya finds out about the quirkless and is like "oh mood that genuinely sounds like my childhood, being ordinary in a house full of extraordinary people, and then i found out that i did have powers but only much later in life after i had already been emotionally scarred by the experience"

deku: vanya we have so much in common

iida and uraraka: concerned noises

aizawa: hound dog. therapy with hound dog for all of you.

there's probably some conflict with like, the hero commission wanting to get their hands on the time travelers?? but probably especially five and klaus as a) time travel and b) ghosts (the hc def has bodies they would like to stay buried)

five has a pavlovian reaction to anything with 'commission' in the name and hates them on site, probably plays into his age in order to become a ward of UA or something to protect him from the commission a little bit.

(this makes nedzu Five's legal guardian. aizawa has his resignation papers all prepped in a drawer marked 'in case of emergency' but let's be real, if nedzu wants to take over the world aizawa should probably be on the rat-bear's side of things :/)

five: ah, i do recall the inhumane experimentation that we were subjected to

nedzu, who was experimented on: haha same hat! want me to dig up the location of reginald hargreeves's remains so you can spit on them?

klaus: nah no worries we dumped them out in the courtyard unceremoniously like, a while back. how long ago varies for each of us because of time travel!

luther: you said hound dog's office was down the hall and to the right?

on the bright side, Luther probably feels like. way less self conscious about his body, partially bc of his fighting and all that in the 60s but also bc !! now he genuinely doesn't feel like a freak. no one even gives him a second glance. one of the teachers looks like a slab of cement with a face. gang orca looks Like That. there is literally a student with an entire bird head and goth aesthetic. Luther does not stick out at all

allison and shinso bond over having "villainous" voice-based quirks

allison and shinso having worn muzzles at some point in their youth as punishment 🤝

aizawa probably helps train vanya as well with the whole, being able to erase a world ending quirk safely thing he's got going on which makes for a very nice safety net

i don't think vanya would want to be a hero at the end of things though. maybe the assistant teacher in the music class or something?? all vanya wants is to be able to not end the world

i feel like as time goes by, five brings up trying to get home less and less. part of that is because like,,, genuinely what do they have to go back to?? Allison has Claire, but like. I'm 100% sure the first thing she did in the future was try track down Claire's records and found out Claire was like. fine. became an adult, had a family, probably became the ancestor of the first "quirked" kids who officially popped up after light baby. had a good life, died at an old age etc. etc.

they start settling into the bnha world with like, "we can always hop aboard the five express into where the fuck ever" as a plan Z if things go completely pear shaped (again)

i'mma be real, five himself doesn't give a fuck as long as there is a) no apocalypse and b) his family is alive. Like that's it. His bar is so incredibly low and yet his life keeps fucking trying to limbo under it

i just think it would be funny to have like, Five trying to get along with his "peers" and make friends while the siblings do the same but like, in the staff room

also think it would be funny for five to just walk into the staff room and get coffee occasionally.

a teacher: why is a student in here -

Five, sipping coffee: i'm an adult

nedzu like "what kind of guardian would i be if i didn't teach my new son all the tunnels around ua so he can pop out wherever"

five like "hey new dad can i put stashes of supplies all around ua of weapons, money, food, and other assorted things that might be useful if one needed to fight or make a run for it" and nedzu is like "haha just put your list of what supplies you want in your go bags on my desk and i'll critique it later!"

anyway a bnha/tua crossover would be incredibly chaotic but probably very funny

[xlysaaa]

Ahhhhhh

Ok, so this might become a bit of a long post. After reading the latest Kono oto Tomare! chapter, i just have to get these feelings off my chest. It'll be random & full ramblings.

i put some panels of chapter 105 but also from 99.5 in this post.

-> lot of spoilers, so read at your own risk <-

this wont be a review or something. I just want to ramble and scream.

First of all, Chikas father . . .

I have literally no fucking words for this sorry excuse of a father! seeing this flashback made me wanna puke my fucking guts out on the floor.

how much do you have to sink as a human being to make YOUR VERY OWN CHILD think this?

What kind of human scum do you have become to tell to YOUR VERY OWN SON " It's hell. Ever since you were born, Its always been hell." ?! What kind of heartless huge shit being do you have to be to treat your very own son like he's the worst, like he isnt worth of human affection or care?!

While Chika was scared & uncomfortable, because he punched someone for the first time to defend himself, instead of talking about it the father looked at him like he was dirt.

When Chika went to the Takaokas that day in Chapter 99.5, he brought back come of the selfmade cake from Tetsukis mum, because he wanted to share it with his father, he thought he could make him happy.

look at this adorable sweet baby bean? how dare you make him cry. ༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽

Imagine a little smiling chika hoping his father would come back early from work to share this delicious cake with him. . . and THEN! imagine the father telling chika in his drunk state all those horrible things, while chika still cares for his father and put a blanket on him to keep him warm. Only for the faher to say ".. I cant bringt myself to love you."

We read in the latest chapter that his mother left with another man, chika cant even remember her face, because he was 2 years old. If its because of the dad, why wouldnt she take chika with her? i dont care whatever her business is, she is as much to blame as this human trash called father. There were so many moments were i had to pause for a bit cause these scenes were too heartbreaking.

Of course Chika would never treasure himself when never once did his father! How should he know how to hold himself dear, when his father never did?

I cant find even the words to describe, what i'm feeling. I feel so sick to my stomach.

I'm so glad that he had his grandpa who cherished him and gave Chika affection. He always encouraged Chika. "Hey, Chika. Dont give up on yourself" & showed him the Koto. He & Tetsuki literally pulled Chika out of the deep darkness & showed him light.

Look Chika, they're all waiting for you! T____T

- - - - - - -- - - - - - -

When Tetsuki transfered into Chikas class, a boy told him that he shouldnt get involved with chika because he's a loner & he's trouble. He said "Instead you can be friend with us" to which Tetsuki replied "Thanks. But no thanks." IN YO FACE YOU SHITTY BULLY CHILD.

Anyways, after school the boy & his friends planed to isolate Tetsuki & bully him . . welp, these boys forget chika "LAME. You guys are super lame." and off they go :'D thank to these shitty children ⬇️

a wonderful unbreakable friendship started! They became best friends who were inseparable. /chikas adorable blush q.q sweet baby bean!!!

When Chika had an argument with his father & left the house, he was bullied by middles schoolers & fought. . . it was then when they started to slowly fall apart.. Chika started to avoid Tetsuki & isolated himself again. Even when Tetsuki tried to ask what happened or tried to help him, Chika would only say "Its got nothing to do with you, do dont butt in." Tetsuki blamed himself "If only I had been there the first time Chika had fought. Maybe we could've run. Maybe we could've feigned defeat. Anything so he didnt have to deal with their attention. Any maybe he would still be . . ." He missed his best friend & was worried what would happen to Chika if he keeps going on like this..

Tetsuki was told by the teacher that his mother had an accident & needs surgery. He's waiting anxious in the hospital, hoping for the best, trying to keep the worst case thoughts away . . thats when Chika comes running into the hospital he was worried!

NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS THEIR FRIENDSHIP IS SIMPLY PERFECTION, I CANT!!! ૮₍ ꒦꒳꒦ ₎ა❤

When Tetsukis dad said to Chika that he heard a lot about him from his wife & thanked him for supporting Tetsuki, he asked about his wounds & if they hurt. . thats when Tetsuki learns the reason, why chika kept his distance from him. He didnt want to involve him or put him in danger. "E-Everything's fine! I'm not hanging out with Tetsuki anymore, nobody's seen us together, nobody knows we're friends or anything. I would never drag him into my problems. Never."

Takaoka-papa is as wonderful as Takaoka-mama, jesus the Takaoka family is a bunch of lovely human beings, help me!!!

BONUS:

WHY ARE THEY SO DAMN WONDERFUL??/Tetsuki is so happy for chika *ugly sobbing deluxe*

I'm so glad that that he had Tetsuki right beside him, i dont wanna imagine what would have happened to Chika without his support & affection.

For me, they have one of the most wonderful & most strongest bond ever. I love their friendship so much, seriously i could probably write an essay about them & would never be able go stop. 🥺❤❤❤

Chika went through so much already, he fought his way through life, suffered, so NOW! Let him finally become happy!

Ufff, i didnt mean to make it THIS long.. but there's so much to say about this manga & the relationships chika made or the persons met.ヾ( இ⌓இ)ﾉﾞ

[ghostietea]

Furuba autistic headcanons

With it being April, or autism acceptance month, I wanted to finally drop my list of characters from Fruits Basket that I read as autistic! This is based a lot on my own experience, as well as that of other autistics I know or have seen talk online. I hope some people can get something out of it, feel free to tell me what you think 😊, though please refrain from getting upset that I would dare suggest your fave is autistic.

Hanajima

Before becoming able to better control her powers, she would be constantly overwhelmed by the things she heard to the point that she couldn't even really go out in public. This reads a lot like sensory overload.

Constantly picked on in school because other kids thought she was weird. Eventually reclaimed this weirdness and turned it into a whole persona.

Seems to talk usually in a relatively flat tone.

Had trouble socializing with no friends outside her family until middleschool.

Has a very funny, dry sense of humor that I find very similar to a bunch of autistics I know, including myself.

Hatsuharu

Listen. You have seen the funky little man, you have seen the way he talks, the way he acts around others. He is, and I mean this in the best way, a weirdo. I do not know how you could look at him and see a neurotypical.

Once again, like Hana, Haru is funny in a way that feels very autistic.

Very flat, dry, tone delivery. Sometimes just Says Things that make everyone else go huh??? Suuuuper blunt. Doesn't emote facially a lot of the time.

When this man sees a social norm he doesn't get he WILL NOT follow it. Pierces his ears just because his hair got flak, defends Momiji wearing whatever he wants because sometimes y'know the social rules are just dumb and don't make sense. Especially dress codes.

Sometimes says things not befitting the current tone of the situation.

Represses (masks) a lot of his emotions, leading to outbursts that seem uncharacteristic.

His main childhood trauma revolves around adults branding him as "dumb" and ridiculing him. Haru, however, is super smart and wise!! Just in an offbeat way that not everyone may get.

Machi

Reads as very "flat" emotionally to the point that others would call her boring. Also has a flat vocal delivery.

Relies on specific habits or ways of doing things or else she gets super upset (her hatred of imperfection.

Has trauma surrounding adults completely misconstruing her intentions and thinking she's doing something malicious when she's not.

Generally behaves in a way that's hard for others to understand, one of her formative moments with Yuki was him saying he wanted to "see how the world looks" through her eyes.

Once again, trouble socializing.

Tries super hard to please her parents but in the end they still see her as somehow inherently "defective."

Listen. A lot of this one and the last two are mostly vibes, hard to verbally define. You just have to look at them and trust me.

Tohru

Displays behavior very reminiscent of masking throughout the story, a huge part of her arc is about how she hides a lot of herself and has a very controlled persona. I think it would fit very well if she had other autistic behaviors that she suppresed also it helps explain why she is relatively socially adept, it's learned behavior to make people like her more.

Yes she is very good at saying what others need to hear, but especially early on she is pretty blatantly imitating her mother's words. She only gets better at getting through on a more personal level later on (see her with Rin and Akito v. early series Tohru). She does this by relating her own experiences, a very autistic way of showing empathy that often gets us written off as self centered. The way she relays things her mom said could also be seen as this, and she even worries at a few points that she's being insensitive for going on about things like that.

While emotionally repressed she is hyper empathetic and feels other's emotions so strongly she cries.

Her speech patterns are all imitated from her father and she often copies verbal things from others (see Ritchan-san). Noted in canon that people think her way of speaking is slightly off/not befitting of someone her age. Additionally, her father was polite more sarcastically, while she plays it straight and sometimes takes things very literally or fails to get the message, indicating trouble with reading tone. Has numerous strange verbal tics, including saying parts of her internal monologue out loud without context.

Very expressive with her hands including waving them around and flapping them up and down.

Does have a bit of trouble with accidental insensitivity in social interactions, like how she constantly fixates on her mom and realizes that might bug the Sohma.

Has trouble paying attention in school since it doesn't have much to do with her interests

Her only friend until she was a middle schooler was her mom

Has a pretty unique outlook on things compared to others, people seem to think she's pretty eccentric. There's always a "this girl is nice but in an odd way, she's our weirdo and we love her" vibe.

Sometimes has an "inappropriate" emotional response to situations

Has a lot of trouble with change, similar to Akito. Which oh, look at the time, next hc coming up.

But first, a disclaimer. It is cathartic for me to read Akito this way, but with that reading comes the baggage that she would, mayhaps, be showing a more negative side of things... It doesn't bother me since it's a joint hc with other characters and she does develop at the end but yeah, general villain hc baggage. This is in no way me trying to excuse her being The Worst being autistic doesn't absolve you of being able to do wrong . Also, a lot of these points can and do have other explanations related to her upbringing, but things can be for more than 1 reason. With that said, she really strongly comes off as autistic to me, in a way that's sorta hard to explain. I wrote a lot more for her than the other, both because I felt I needed more to convince people and that this headcanon was more sensitive and I needed to be careful in my explanation. Also hey! She's my special interest within a special interest.

Akito

Shown to have a dislike of summer weather due to heat and brightness, could be due to sensory issues in tandem with sickness things. Also covers her ears when people raise their voice sometimes which is partially her trying to shut down opposition but also 🤔 can read a different way. She'd also avoids louder Juuni like Ritsu and Ayame because she can't handle them.

Wears pretty much the same outfit every single day. Said outfit is also pretty loose fitting.

Always seen sitting in a pretty unconventional way. Evidence:

Of course this is also the isolated in a cult thing and there is a level of her purposefully doing things to intimidate but: doesn't follow a lot of social rules (overly touchy with strangers, legit doesn't get that what she's doing is wrong, ect.). Repeatedly confused when people indicate she should act otherwise without explanation. Has a breakdown when this comes to a head and approximately says that "they" shouldn't expect her to know "common sense" if "they" never explained it to her, that the way that she was was her "common sense."

Often talks in a way uncharacteristic of her age when shown as a child in a more faux mature/pretentious way. Might just be the translation and idk how to explain it but her speech as an adult also seems off from what one would normally use in conversation. Additionally, when she tries to fake being friendly in her intro chapter, it comes of as extremely stiff and unconvincing.

Generally displays behavior that could be thought of as childish as an adult, but a lot of this behavior could also read as autistic (covering ears, emotional deregulation and meltdowns, ignorance of basic social norms, ect.). It's also important to note that she knows that this behavior makes her seem younger and more helpless to the older zodiac and uses it as a manipulation tactic. Has issues regarding people treating her like a child or only hanging out with her because of pity. While she does weaponize it, we can tell that this grates on her, as seen with her finally blowing up on Kureno, which is partially triggered by the maids saying some sorta infantalizing stuff about her. Irl, a lot of autistic adults and teens struggle with being infantalized for our behavior generally or treated as little babies that can do no wrong. Even in fandom, you see people doing stuff like jumping to call autistic adult characters, such as Entrapta from Shera, "minor coded." It is also common for us to have at least one bad experience with someone hanging around us out of pity. This is something that really gave me a similar feeling in Akito's arc. She's not a baby and she can understand and do better if she is given the chance to learn and break from all the freaky cult indoctrination she's been subjected to instead of just being constantly enabled. In the end, a lot of her growth is represented by her showing that she is capable of changing and being independent.

Shows particular difficulty with socialization, often sits by herself spacing out at social events. A lot of her fear is rooted in the fact that she doesn't know how normal relationships work, becoming overly reliant on the curse because she doesn't know how to make friends.

Clings desperately onto the notion of being "special" and in some way superior to others to be worthy and to make up for perceived inherent "flaws." It's the nd gifted kid burnout vibes for me.

Easily bothered by things that don't bother others. Feels emotions very strongly to the point of getting physically ill and has bad emotional regulation.

Relatively good at reading others in an analytical sense (though has more trouble when it comes to seeing how they feel about her since she's wildly delusional) but brings up her observations in a very cold, detached way and hurts people even on the rare occasion she didn't mean to. Has extreme trouble connecting to others and understanding their point of view. This makes her come off as pretty unempathetic even though that might not fully be the case. Also thinks that people like Momiji are trying to look down on her when they try to empathize with her. A lot of why Tohru can get through to her is that she manages to convince Akito that she's not condescending by relating shared traits and experiences. As I said earlier, autistics often empathize by sharing their own experiences with someone, and I know I often have an easier time confiding in other autistics because of a fear of being seen as lesser by those that don't understand me. I think the connection between these charachters and the way that Tohru manages to reach Akito like that while others couldn't makes a lot of sense through an autistic lense!

Additionally, when Akito herself gets around to trying to help others instead of just projecting trauma, she tries to reach out to the old maid by relating back to her own experiences. This however, doesn't work.

Has "cold" emotional reactions sometimes even to things that do make her upset. For example, how sort of calm and detached she acted after her father's death can make her seem uncaring. However, we know that this event did mess her up a lot and she is still (poorly) dealing with a lot of grief from the death of her father years later.

Copies mannerisms from others, the most blatant example is with Ren, who she directly parrots lines from as a child to Yuki.

Partly just her posturing, but gestures a lot with her hands when she talks. Also seen several times clutching her hands in her hair.

Deals extremely poorly with the idea of things changing to the point that it is a driving force of the story.

Does not understand when people tease her.

Ect. Ect. Ect. Listen, I could go on for ages but just trust me, the mean gremlin lady is autistic.