#like i still see people commenting on the dream daddy situation because they remembered that one post years ago about something that wasnt

[cryptidjeepers]

Im not going to say specifics but theres so much 'through the grape vine' discourse on the internet that is so frustrating for a lot of reasons. But the most frustrating kind is the "baseless or otherwise unnuanced/overdramatic accusation of someone or something" that is either debunked, old and outdated or proven to be a much more complicated topic. But all most people will see is that first callout post and will internalize it as fact for years. Theyll continue to parrot it on other platforms whenever its mentioned and then outsiders will see that out of context and internalize that as well. Until its so far from the context and the damage is irreversible.

Or will take what might have been a understandable criticism but will turn it into a "this thing is irredeemablely bad and youre a bad person for liking it." If you so much as mention the thing you will have people saying "isnt this thing evil and bad?" Because of a tumblr post they read 5 years ago.

[watchmegetobsessed]

TO LOVE AND BE LOVED - Part Two (Harry Styles)

a/n: you guys thank you so much for all the love you’ve showed part one!! 🥺 im so happy you like the story! i wanted to post part two a little later, in the weekend but i got so happy for all the reactions that i decided to move it earlier so here it is! i’ll try to update soon, the longest it will take is one week probably. im working on my thesis and have a lot of school work so please be patient with me! feedback is very much welcomed, as always, your reactions and comments mean so much to me!!

pairing: CEO!Dad!Harry X Reader

warning: mentions of death, cheating and divorce

word count: 10.4k

SERIES MASTERPOST masterlist

Pulling Izzy out of daycare dramatically lessened the amount of time she could spend with her friends, so the situation needs extra attention on her socializing. You’ve been trying to take her to the park as much as possible so she could meet with kids her age and Harry has been arranging a lot of playdates for her with her friends from daycare.

When you come back from meeting your brother for lunch on a Sunday, you are greeted with not two, but eight little feet running around the living room, many of Izzy’s toys have been brought downstairs and the coffee table is filled with fruits, snacks and drinks for the kids. You know the two little guests, it’s Yara and Zac, the three of them were like a little gang back when Izzy was attending daycare. Yara’s moms and Zac’s mom are sitting on the terrace, letting the kids roam around freely, Harry is in the kitchen preparing some sandwiches for the guests when you arrive back.

“Hi, do you need help with anything?” you ask, catching his attention.

“Oh, hi! No I’m fine, thank you. How was lunch with your brother?”

“Great,” you smile at him before leaving him to do whatever he has to do.

“Miss Y/N!” Yara greets you, waving in your way while munching on an apple slice.

“Hello Yara, Zac,” you smile at them before walking out to the terrace to greet the parents. “Hi! Ava, Saige, it’s nice to see you again. And Linda, hello!”

“Y/N, hi! Harry told us you might return soon, so good to see you!” Ava greets you as you join them at the table. They’ve been the nicest parents while you were working at the daycare, though you weren’t the only victim of the closed-minded cowards that got you fired. Ava and Saige have faced quite a lot of backlash for basically daring to be a same-sex couple out in the open. You’ve heard many complaints from other parents about how they don’t want them to pick up their daughter together. Apparently, it’s confusing for the kids to see two women to be the mothers of the same child. Ridiculous.

“I was out having lunch with my brother. How have you been?”

“Things are the same, you know,” Saige shrugs with a scowl. “But your firing has got us thinking about pulling Yara out as well.”

“Oh!”

“Yeah, it’s starting to get really ridiculous. I mean it’s one thing that we get weird looks, but firing you was kind of the last straw,” Ava nods.

“And how have you been here, Y/N? How is working for Harry?” Linda asks.

“Oh, it’s amazing, really. I love taking care of Izzy, she is so easy to handle and I love seeing her learn and grow. And Harry is a great boss, I got really lucky.”

“Lucky indeed!” Ava smirks, making them all laugh as you feel yourself blushing. “Even I sometimes dream about the man,” she adds, keeping her tone down.

“How do you keep your cool?” Linda sighs. “If I had to live with this man, I would go nuts.”

“Well, Izzy keeps me pretty busy, and he is my boss, so…”

“It’s not like HR would be up your ass if you got involved,” Saige shrugs, taking a sip from her iced tea.

You don’t get to react, the kids run out, taking over the playground, Harry arriving right behind them with a plate filled with sandwiches for the guests.

“Ladies, sorry for the wait,” he smiles, placing the food to the table as he joins your little circle.

“Oh Harry, thank you so much!” Ava sighs, grabbing one already. “We were just talking to Y/N about how big of an upgrade it is for her to work here.”

“Is it?” he asks, slightly surprised as he glances over at you.

“I mean, the paycheck is better and it’s clearly a better environment,” you chuckle shrugging.

“I just don’t know why Claire lets those assholes control the place. She is the boss there, she should stand up against them,” Linda scowls.

“She is just trying to avoid confrontation.”

“No, she is afraid they would stop paying the daycare the money, so she is an ass-kisser,” Saige scoffs, making you laugh.

“Well, at least I have Y/N now to take good care of Izzy,” Harry smiles, his eyes meeting yours and you swear your heart skips a beat when he says that he has you.

“Lucky bastard!” Ava throws her hands into the air, making everyone laugh.

Enjoying the company, you stay outside instead of locking yourself up in your room. It’s nice to see the moms occasionally pick on Harry, they surely like to joke about him being a hot single dad, but he usually just blushes and smiles at the compliments. Linda and Zac leave first, then Ava, Saige and Yara head home as well when it’s nearing five in the afternoon. Though Harry tells you to just leave the cleanup for him, you insist on helping.

“Now I feel bad you are working on your day off,” he huffs as you help him around in the kitchen.

“It’s not working,” you roll your eyes. “I live here too, of course I’m gonna help keeping it clean.”

“You know, if your brother ever wants to come over, feel free to invite him.”

“Might take your word, because he is very curious about the place,” you chuckle. Harry smiles as he starts washing the dishes.

“He is welcomed anytime.”

“Thank you.” Putting away the snacks that was left you start drying the dishes while he is washing them, working next to each other in silence. Unlike his usual attire, he is now wearing just a plain white t-shirt with light-washed jeans. “You’re quite the moms’ favorite,” you tease him, earning a soft chuckle from him.

“Saige and Ava like to pull my leg, but I know they mean well.”

“They are great people, I always liked them,” you smile glancing at him.

“I remember when I first met them at a parents’ meeting, they spotted how lost I was among all the moms and asked if I wanted to sit with them. Then Izzy became friends with Yara so we met quite a few times.”

“I find it a little funny we never met while I was working at the daycare. Izzy was in my group for almost a year and we just never ran into each other.”

Harry licks his lips before turning his gaze to you, finishing up the dishes and turning the water off.

“I saw you.” Your eyebrows shoot up. How did you not see him?

“Really?”

“Yeah, just a few times. Mostly it was Ruth who picked up Izzy these past few months. I had a huge project that ended just before you started here, so I didn’t have the chance to pick her up that much. But I saw you a few times. You were just always busy with the kids, I guess… you didn’t notice me,” he shrugs, holding his arms on his chest as he leans against the counter.

“It could get pretty intense sometimes even though it was just a daycare,” you chuckle, remembering to all the tantrums and fussy dramas that happened between the kids. Sometimes it felt more like a high school than a daycare, especially when friends were taken and lovestories happened through lunchtimes.

“Daddy! What are we having for dinner?” Izzy runs into the kitchen, tippy-tapping her hands on the counter that she can barely reach.

“Macaroni and cheese.”

“Yes! Maccy cheese!” Izzy cheers throwing her hands into the air. Harry smiles down at her, ruffling her hair and you can’t push down a smile at what she just called mac and cheese.

Harry starts prepping for dinner, he puts on some music that Izzy dances to and though you try to leave them be and enjoy their alone time, Izzy insists you stay and help as well.

“Izzy, let Y/N do what she wants, this is her day off,” Harry warns her, making her pout her lips at you. Not that you would have said no to her, but now you definitely can’t leave.

“It’s alright. I’m happy to help.”

Izzy sits on the counter in a safe distance from the stove, her duty is to watch the pasta cook while Harry takes care of the sauce and you set the table, knowing it won’t take long for the food to be ready.

“Daddy?” Izzy speaks up, tilting her head to the side.

“Yes, baby?”

“I love Maccy cheese. Does mom like it too?”

Harry’s eyes flicker over to you, as if he is embarrassed you caught a moment that shouldn’t have been revealed and you can tell he is still kind of torn how to handle the mentioning of his late wife. You keep a straight face, making yourself busy with cleaning off the counter top. You wouldn’t want to make him think he can’t talk about Maggie in your presence.

“Um, yeah. Mommy loves mac and cheese,” he nods, giving her knees a little squeeze before moving her off the counter to take care of the pasta.

Your eyes meet Harry’s gaze when you bring some water to the table and you can tell he is still thinking about the slip you just heard, but you give him a soft smile, trying your best to assure him nothing bad happened.

Izzy babbles through dinner about everything she did with Yara and Zac today, excited to see them as soon as possible and Harry promises her to arrange a meeting for them in the park sometime next week. You try to help with cleaning up, but Harry doesn’t let you, so pouring yourself a nice glass of wine you sit in the living room to watch some TV before going to bed. After dinner, Harry takes Izzy upstairs to give her a bath and once that’s done she is allowed to play some more in her room.

Harry joins you soon on the couch with a glass of wine as well, seemingly tired from all the socializing he did. Peeking at him while the evening news is playing on the screen, you notice that he is not even paying attention, deep in his thoughts he is pulling on his bottom lip like he always does whenever he is deep in focus. You have a guess what he is thinking about, but you want to give him the time and space to figure out if he is ready to share or not.

“I, uhh—I never really told you why it’s just Izzy and I,” he speaks up and you turn to him with patience, knowing the importance of him bringing it up. “My wife… Maggie, she… We got married about six years ago and then two years later we had Izzy. She was six months old when Maggie…”

He is struggling to find the words, or to just even think about it and you don’t want him to feel like he has to tell you about any of it.

“Harry, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“No, I want to. I always feel bad that I don’t talk about her, makes it look like I’m trying to forget about her, but that’s not at all the case, it’s just… hard to think about how long it’s been and I still feel like it was just… last week.”

Harry sniffles and you’re not sure if it’s because he is getting emotional to the point where he is going to start crying or it’s nothing significant, but you feel the urge to assure him about your support. Reaching over you put your hand to his arm, giving it a gentle squeeze. His eyes first fall to your hand and then to you, a sense of softness shining back from his green irises as he lets out a shaky breath.

“It was a car accident. She was driving home late night from her sister’s and a drunk driver ran the red light, crashed right into her car. They both were rushed into hospital, but Maggie’s lungs collapsed and she… they couldn’t help her. The guy had surgery and though he broke quite a few bones and had a serious concussion, he survived.”

You have to bite into your bottom lip, already feeling the tears welling in your eyes, but you quickly blink them away. You can only imagine what it’s like to be called and find out your wife was killed because of the dumb mistake of someone else. And to think that Izzy was still so small, Harry was left with a baby and the immense grief so suddenly, it must have been the toughest time he had to go through.

“I’m really sorry, Harry,” you quietly tell him, his eyes flickering up to meet yours and they are glistening from the tears. He just nods, blinking a few times before drinking up his wine.

Before anything else could be said, you hear Izzy running down the stairs, soon throwing herself to the couch, cuddling to Harry’s side.

“Hey baby, want to go to sleep already?” he asks, softly brushing through her hair with his fingers. Izzy nods, blinking sleepily. Harry scoops her into his arms standing up from the couch and he is reaching for his empty glass, but you take it before he could.

“I’ll wash it, don’t worry about it,” you smile at him.

“Thank you,” he breathes out, holding Izzy tight before the two of them disappear upstairs.

You don’t stay out too long yourself either, washing the glasses you let a single tear run down your cheek before quickly wiping it away and heading up to your room.

The past two years you’ve been taking gigs as a photographer more and more, going to weddings, birthday parties, baby showers or anniversaries to snap photos of others’ most precious moments. You are not a professional, nor do you treat yourself as one, but the more events you attended and the more work you put out, the more popular you started to get. Now you have about two bookings every month and you are able to ask for a quite impressive amount of money for a session that people are willing to pay for your pictures.

You’ve been putting off your gigs since you moved into the Styles mansion, wanting to focus on all the changes in your lives, but now that you’ve gotten quite used to your new life one month into it, you are getting back to your usual. This Saturday you’re doing a photoshoot of a soon-to-be-wedded pair who also booked you for their upcoming wedding in a few weeks. It’s kind of an engagement photoshoot since they couldn’t do one when they got engaged months ago, but they didn’t want to miss out on the chance to do one before they official tie the knot.

Harry and Izzy are planning to go to the zoo today, something she’s been begging to do for weeks now and Harry finally gave in, so all three of you are going to be quite busy today. The photoshoot takes place at this fancy, mid-century styled café the couple chose, so you decide to dress up yourself a little too. Putting on a maroon colored pencil skirt that hugs your hips and waist tight, you tuck into it a white silky blouse, making you appear like some kind of eyecandy assistant straight out of a Hollywood movie, especially with your low bun, which is less for the look but more for practicality, since you don’t like it when your hair gets caught in the straps of your camera.

Swinging your camera bag to one shoulder and your handbag to the other one, your camera hanging from your neck, you head downstairs, rushing a little because you’re short on time already. Izzy is sitting on one of the stools at the kitchen island while Harry is packing them some lunch and snacks for the day.

“Oh! Y/N, you look so pretty!” Izzy beams at you when you near the corner. She is dangling her legs playfully, her piggy tails curling adorably on each sides of her head. Harry’s head snaps up and his lips part upon spotting you.

“Thank you, Sunshine,” you smile at her, caressing her cheek, tickling her a little that makes her giggle.

“Where are you going?” she asks curiously.

“Izzy, don’t question her all the time, that’s not too nice,” Harry warns her, but you just shake your head.

“It’s alright. I have a photoshoot today. I have to take pictures of a couple that’s going to get married soon,” you explain to her and Harry’s ears perk up, eyeing the camera that’s hanging from your neck.

“I didn’t know you are a photographer,” Harry hums, closing the cooler.

“Well, I’m not a professional, but I’ve been doing photoshoots here and there.”

“That’s amazing!” he smiles warmly.

“Thanks. Well, I gotta go because I’m running a little late. Have fun at the zoo!” you smile, at them before walking out. You reach the front door but stop for a moment to read the text the bride has sent you letting you know they are running a little late as well. That’s when you hear the conversation between Harry and Izzy coming from the kitchen.

“She looked so pretty!” Izzy sighs. You expect Harry to just hum or ignore her words, but for your surprise, he answers her.

“Yeah, she really does.”

You blush like a teenage girl, feeling your heart fluttering in your chest as you smile, walking out of the house.

The father-daughter duo is still out when you get home later. You make yourself a tea and sit out to the terrace with your computer, starting to edit the photos right away so you can send then over to the couple as soon as possible. They turned out pretty good, you love the colorful vibe the café had and it went well with the pair’s outfits.

You get so into editing that you don’t even notice Harry and Izzy arriving home, just when the sliding door opens and Izzy runs up to you, holding a stuffed animal that appears to be an otter.

“Y/N, look what daddy got me!” she cheers holding up the toy.

“Oh my god, it’s really cute!” You pull her to sit on your lap as she hugs the toy, clearly happy to have a new addition to her already existing army. Harry walks out with a bottle of water and a glass. Joining the two of you at the table, he pours some water for Izzy and makes her drink it.

“We spent an entire hour watching the otters,” he chuckles, brushing Izzy’s hair out of her face as she chugs the water down.

“Can’t blame you, they are really cute,” you chuckle. Izzy puts the empty glass down and hops off your lap before announcing that she is gonna show her new toy around in the backyard before running away from you.

“Are those… the pictures from today?” Harry shyly asks, eyeing your laptop’s screen.

“Oh, yeah. Wanted to get a headstart on editing,” you nod turning it so he can have a better look. “Want to see what I got so far?”

“Of course!” he nods smiling.

You click through the photos you’ve already edited, there are about ten in total and you’re quite satisfied with how they turned out to be.

“Wow, they look… really good, Y/N.”

“Thank you,” you smile blushing a little.

“What events do you usually do?”

“Mostly weddings and engagement shoots, birthdays, these kinds of stuff.”

“It’s really amazing,” he nods smiling.

“I… Hope you won’t be mad but I’ve shot a few pictures of Izzy too these past weeks,” you admit, hoping he won’t get upset for you, doing it without his permission. “I didn’t use them anywhere, I wasn’t planning to, I just thought they were nice moments.”

“Oh, can I see them?”

“Of course!”

Opening up the folder you put her pictures into, you start clicking through the few photos you took of her. There’s one of her during her swimming lesson, laughing happily as she holds onto the edge of the pool, her wet locks sticking to her head. Then there’s one when the two of you were baking cupcakes and she got icing all over her face and tried to lick it off, her tongue sticking out on the picture. There are some of her just roaming around the backyard, exploring the bugs hiding in the grass, some of her napping with her favorite stuffed animals on the couch and then the last one was taken when she was jumping in her bed, you caught her up in the air, the widest smile on her face as she was laughing straight into the camera.

“Y/N, these are… wow. They are all so good, I love them!”

“Really?” Your smile grows wide, happy that he likes them.

“Yeah! Do you think… do you think you can send them to me?”

“Of course! I can get them printed for you, if you’d like. There’s a place where I go to get my photos printed, they make them look like they were taken on an analog, old school camera, I love that little extra touch on the pictures.”

“That would be fantastic,” he smiles, clearly in awe of your work.

You spend the rest of the afternoon editing while Harry and Izzy take over the kitchen as usual. When you’re on your way up to your room with your laptop after you decided to call it a day, you catch them in there, Izzy making Harry dance around with her while they are chopping the veggies. Harry is swaying his lips to the rhythm, humming to the song as Izzy is jumping and twirling around, singing from the top of her lungs. Despite the terrible loss of her mother, there’s no doubt Izzy is having the best possible childhood, getting all the love she deserves from her dad and you feel happy you are here to witness them grow together.

You did not see your parents’ divorce coming, probably because it’s been over six years since you’ve moved out and you only saw them every other week at best. You always tried to come around as often as possible, wanting to spend time with Trevor and of course, them as well, but you had to focus on building your own life. You had to worry about your work, your own living space and not much later you started dating Keith so you were pretty busy to say the least. You weren’t there when things started to go downhill, but Trevor was. He had to suffer through every fight and screaming match they had without any support and you’ve always felt guilty about it, but you couldn’t just move back home. However you’ve always tried to do everything you could to support him through these hard times. He knew he could call you anytime he had enough of the spiteful atmosphere at home and you were quick to come to his rescue.

You were mad at your parents, there’s no need to lie about it. But not because of getting a divorce, you knew better than to expect them to suffer in a marriage they weren’t happy in, but the way they handled has always been just… unacceptable. Especially because in the midst of their anger and hatred towards each other they started to forget that they still had a kid living home who had to listen to everything they threw at each other, things no son should ever hear about his parents, no matter if they were true or not.

Being a teenager in high school is stressful enough as it is, but having to deal with your parents’ nasty divorce is just something no teenager should have to go through. Trevor has been dealing with it for a while now and he is trying his best to just shut them out whenever they are going at it, but sometimes it’s not that easy. That’s when he seeks comfort at you.

It’s a Thursday evening when your parents decide to drive Trevor up the wall with their screaming and fighting again. You’re watching a movie with Izzy and Harry in the entertainment room, working on your laptop simultaneously, confirming some photoshoots for the upcoming weekends. Harry has let Izzy play with his hair while watching the movie, so now she is all over her daddy, decorating his hair with little hairclips and hair ties while the man is just sitting there without a complaint.

Your phone starts buzzing on the couch and Trevor’s photo is flashing on the screen. Putting the laptop aside, you grab your phone and walk out of the room not to disturb them with your call.

“Hey!” you greet him happily, but your stomach immediately drops when you hear him draw a shaky breath on the other end of the line. “Trev? What’s wrong?”

“Can I please spend the night at yours?” he pleads weakly.

“What happened, are you alright?” you perk up right away.

“It’s just… dad came over this afternoon and they went at it again and now they are doing it over the phone, mom is like really out of her mind right now. I have a math test tomorrow and I don’t think I can sleep here like this. She is still screaming at him over the phone.”

“I’m leaving right now, pack a bag, alright?”

“Thanks,” he breathes out and ends the call. Rushing back into the entertainment room Harry turns to you while Izzy is still busy with his hair.

“Uh, I know it’s really sudden and all, but my brother just called, would it be fine if he spent the night over here?” Even though Harry himself told you it’s fine to have people over, you still feel like you need to ask for his permission, especially if your guest is planning to stay the night.

“Is he alright? Of course he can come over.” Sitting straight up he asks Izzy to sit down a little which she gladly does, turning her attention towards the movie.

“It’s just, um, our parents are having another scream match. They are… They are in the middle of getting a divorce and they are not handling it right,” you let out a bitter chuckle.

“Oh, I’m sorry about that. Do you need me to come with you? You seem very upset, you sure you can drive?”

“No, it’s alright, but thanks. I’m fine. I’ll be back soon with him and thank you so much for letting him stay,” you breathe out. He just nods with a sympathetic smile before you turn around and leave.

Through the drive over to the house where you grew up your anger just grows with each turn you take. You love your parents to death, they raised you in a quite unusual and hard situation, they had to grow up with you when they had you so young, but they always made sure to give you everything you needed. And you know they have the same kind of love towards Trevor, but their hatred for each other is blinding them and they probably don’t even realize how much it affects him, but you are not letting them ruin everything because they fell out of love. Trevor deserves the same kind of supportive and loving environment to grow up in just like the one you had and there’s nothing that could change that.

Pulling up to the driveway you take a deep breath as you march up to the front porch and use your keys to let yourself in. The shouting hits your ears right away, it’s coming from the kitchen, but Trevor is the first one you spot on the top of the stairs. His hood is on and he has a backpack in his hands as he comes down the stairs with a pained and tired face.

“Hey! Left the car open, go get in there, I’ll be out in a minute,” you softly tell him as you give him a quick hug.

“Thanks,” he mumbles before walking out.

Following your mother’s voice to the kitchen you find her with a half empty bottle of wine, cussing your father out through the phone.

“Go and fuck that bitch you went out to have dinner with last weekend! Yes I know about that!” she spats and you wince at her words.

“Mom!” you call out, but she doesn’t even register your voice.

“Fuck you, Fred! Fuck you!” she continues, so you raise your voice a little more.

“Mom!” This time she finally hears it and turning around she looks at you with wide eyes.

“Y/N! What are you doing here? You didn’t say you were coming,” she adds, her voice soft and weak this time, the anger long gone from it.

“I’m here to pick Trevor up. Put dad on speaker, I want to have a word with you two,” you tell her firmly and she gulps hard, nodding as she sets the phone to the counter, putting your dad on speaker.

“Y/N? What’s going on?” you hear him question from the other end of the line.

“I could ask the same thing!” you snap back, fed up with the way they have been acting. They might have lost a good chunk of their youth because they were busy taking care of you after having at just nineteen, but that doesn’t give them the right to act like literal cavemen in front of your brother.

“Trevor called me all upset, begging me to come and get him. What is wrong with you two? You have been at each other’s throats all the damn time, it is not healthy not just for Trevor but to either of you!”

“Y/N, sweetie, there’s just a lot going on—“ your mother tries to explain, but you cut her off.

“I don’t fucking care! Whatever is going on between the two of you, Trevor should be first! No matter what! He needs you both, he needs the support and love, but he is only getting the screaming and fighting. This is not right!”

“It’s a hard situation, you have to be patient with us, Y/N,” your father sighs over the phone and you can’t hold your ironic laughter back.

“Patient? I’ve been patient with you these past about five months since you’ve been literally tearing each other to pieces. Do yourselves and everyone else a favor and just get it over with. Dad, pick up all your stuff and don’t come here for mom’s sake. Mom, don’t snoop around dad’s life, because it’s not your business anymore. Stop being ignorant and maybe start to think about the kid you still have living near you.”

Your words might have been harsh, but it needed to be said. You can tell by your mother’s shocked expression and from the way your dad is dead silent in the call that your message finally hit them in the head and you hope they are willing to get their shit together so Trevor doesn’t lose his mind.

“Trevor is staying with me tonight, we’ll see when he wants to come back, but you better think about what I just told you,” you warn them before walking out and leaving them to think about their actions finally.

Trevor stays silent on the road back to Harry’s and you don’t try to force him to talk, it’s clear he has had enough for today. Arriving back home you park your car next to Harry’s Range Rover and the two of you walk inside in silence.

It’s past Izzy’s bedtime so you’re not surprised to find only Harry in the kitchen when you walk into the house. Harry seems cautious, almost worried as he spots you and Trevor in the hallway.

“Trevor, this is my boss, Harry. Harry, this is my brother, Trevor,” you introduce them to each other quickly. They shake hands with a manly nod.

“Thanks for letting me stay here tonight,” Trevor clears his throat, feeling a little out of place.

“No worries. Feel free to use any of the guest bedrooms,” Harry smiles softly.

“Oh, we’ll be fine sleeping in my room,” you assure him but Harry shakes his head at your words.

“We have plenty of space. Please, use them!”

“Thank you,” Trevor mumbles and you shoot Harry a thankful look before walking your brother upstairs.

You opt for the room next to yours, Help Trevor get comfortable, making sure he has everything he needs for the night.

“Did you get into a fight with mom and dad?” he asks, when you are sitting on the edge of his bed, about to leave him alone.

“I just told them to get their shit together,” you chuckle, giving his leg a squeeze under the covers. He cracks a smile at you, but it’s not as genuine as it should be. “I’ll drive you to school in the morning. My room is right next to this one, come over if you need anything, alright?”

“Thanks,” he mumbles, pulling the covers up to his chin.

“Good night, Trev,”you tell him switching the lights off and walking towards the door.

“Good night, Y/N,” he calls after you before you close the door, letting out a long breath.

As you make your way down to the kitchen you see that Harry is still there, his eyes snap up to you, filled with concern and worry.

“Everything alright?” he asks as you make yourself a tea.

“Yeah, he was just fed up with the constant screaming. I can’t blame him, my mother didn’t even realize I was there until I raised my voice at her.”

“I’m sorry about that. Must be hard dealing with high school and a nasty divorce.”

“It is,” you sigh. “But thank you for letting him stay, really.” “I meant it when I said it’s just as much your home as it is ours. He can come over anytime, don’t worry about that,” he shrugs.

“Thank you. I’ll drive him to school in the morning, but I’ll be back by the time you leave, is that alright?”

“Of course,” he smiles warmly. “You two look a lot alike.”

“We get that a lot,” you chuckle. “It’s the eyes and nose shape, I think. We got those from our mother.”

“People say I look like my sister too, but I don’t really see it, if I’m being honest,” he chuckles lightly.

“Yeah? Why?”

“No idea,” he shakes his head laughing. “I just don’t see it, but I couldn’t tell you really.”

Sipping on your tea you stay in the kitchen with Harry, the light conversation about his sister and eventually his mother eases the stress that has been gripping on your chest from the encounter you had with your parents earlier. You’re not sure if he tried to talk you through it because he saw how much you needed the distraction or if it’s just how he is, but either way, he really helped you to relax.

Cleaning after yourself the two of you head to bed, saying good night to each other before disappearing in your rooms.

“This place is like… really huge,” Trevor sighs in awe when the two of you are eating breakfast together the next morning.

“I told you, it’s a mansion,” you chuckle, digging into your oatmeal. “I’ll show you around next time you’re here.”

“T’was nice of Harry to let me stay,” he hums.

“Mhm, he is a cool boss,” you smile at him.

“And kinda handsome…” Glancing at Trevor you see the sly smirk on his lips and you give him a stern look.

“Stop right there, alright? No funny thoughts!”

“Funny thoughts?” he laughs leaning back in his seat. “I just made a statement that he is a nice looking man, that’s it. Do you not agree?”

“I’m not commenting on the topic,” you diplomatically answer.

“On what topic?” Harry appears from the stairs, making you both turn his way. “Good morning,” he smiles warmly.

“Morning!” Trevor nods his way before he turns back to you, still smirking. You narrow your eyes at him before answering Harry.

“The topic doesn’t matter. Morning, Harry!”

He pours himself some coffee that you brew earlier before joining the two of you at the dining table. He strikes up a conversation with Trevor, asking him about school and his future plans once he graduates and luckily, Trevor is on his best behavior despite the comment he made earlier, he is not trying to put you into an uncomfortable situation. He knows better, because if he upsets you now, he will not be returning to the mansion, that’s for sure.

“Alright, get your stuff, we are leaving in five,” you tell him when both of you are done eating. Nodding he disappears upstairs as you take care of the dishes quickly.

“Is he staying tonight as well?” Harry asks, following you into the kitchen.

“Oh, no. I’m sure mom wants to talk to him after last night, so it’s better if he goes home.”

“Hope things will get easier for him,” he smiles and you return it, thankful that he let him stay here when he really needed a place for himself.

“Thanks for everything, Harry” Trevor smiles at him when he arrives with his backpack.

“Of course, come back soon, but under more peaceful conditions,” he chuckles nodding in his way.

“I’ll be back soon!” you call out before walking out of the house with your brother.

“So how long have you been crushing on your boss?” Trevor asks in the car and your eyes widen as you try to keep the car straight in the lane.

“Excuse you?”

“Come on, Y/N. It’s kinda obvious, you swoon at everything the man says, haven’t seen you this soft since your high school graduation,” he chuckles, finding your reaction quite entertaining, but you’re not enjoying the situation that much.

“I do not have a crush on Harry,” you shake your head laughing, but you can’t ignore the knot in your stomach at your own words. Was this that big of a lie?

“That’s too bad because I think he has a thing for you too,” he shrugs, carelessly staring out the window, like it’s that casual to discuss you and your boss having possible feelings for each other.

“When did you become an expert on these stuff?” you huff, glancing at him shortly before turning back to face the road.

“I’m not an expert, but I’m not blind either. And I saw the way he looked at you.”

“What way?” you scoff.

“Like he is thankful you are walking this Earth.”

“Did you take this from a rom-com on Netflix?” you tease him, but he just shrugs. “Of course he is thankful, I’m helping him with his daughter. It’s not easy being a single parent and I’m helping him immensely. But there’s nothing else behind that.”

“Sure, good luck convincing yourself,” he sighs when you park the car down at his school. “Thanks for the ride and the night too. I’ll call you later.”

Leaning over the console he gives you a quick hug before hopping out of the car and walking towards the main building.

Arriving back home you find Izzy sitting on the couch with a bowl of cereal on her lap, watching her favorite morning cartoon, but no sign of Harry and for a moment you get scared you got back too late, but then you realize he wouldn’t leave Izzy home alone.

“Hey Sunshine, did you sleep well?” you ask, caressing her rosy cheek as you join her on the couch.

“Mhm, what are we doing today?” she asks, showing a spoonful of cereal into her mouth.

“You have French class today with Lyon and in the afternoon I thought we could learn about otters. You seemed to like them a lot at the zoo.”

“Yes! They are so cute!” she cheers happily just when you hear footsteps coming from the stairs. Turning around you spot Harry walking towards the living room, but your lips part immediately when you see that he is putting on another shirt, his naked chest on display since he hasn’t buttoned it fully. What you saw not long ago from your balcony is now so much closer, the swallows peeking out from under the shirt and you see the little cross pendant hanging between his pecs, something you’ve only seen if he pulled it out of his shirts which didn’t happen that often.

Harry stops in his tracks when he sees you on the couch with Izzy and a blush paints his cheeks.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Didn’t know you were back,” he breathes out, his fingers working fast on the buttons to get himself presentable again though you wish he would just get rid of the whole thing… “Izzy spilled some juice on me so I had to change quickly,” he explains, finishing with the buttons and he quickly fixes it so he looks just as spotless as always.

“You poured too much into my cup!” Izzy defends herself furrowing her eyebrows at her dad.

“Of course it was my fault, who else’s would have it been?” Harry huffs as he presses a kiss to the top of her head. “Y/N, I have something to ask you.”

“Go ahead.”

“I know it’s pretty sudden and on a very short notice but could you maybe look after Izzy tonight? Niall called me and begged to meet up with him for a few drinks. I would call Ruth, but she is out of town this week.”

“Oh sure! No problem,” you smile at him.

“Are you sure you don’t have anything to do? Don’t feel pressured to say yes, I should have asked in advance, it’s just—“ “Harry, it’s fine. I’m okay looking after her tonight,” you assure him before he talks himself down from letting you do it. “Go have fun, you barely get out of the house without Izzy.” If you’re being honest the only place he goes to without his daughter is work and it’s a little saddening, he deserves some time out from his daddy duties.

“Thank you,” he smiles at you with gratitude. “I won’t be out too long, I promise.”

“No worries, have fun with Niall,” you wave in dismiss.

“Thanks. Have a great day. Be good, baby. I’ll see you in the afternoon.” Harry kisses Izzy’s forehead before grabbing his suit jacket, wallet, keys and phone and heads out to start his day.

“Alright, daddy is off to work and we also have a day ahead of us. Come on, let’s get started,” you smile at Izzy who nods in agreement.

Harry swears he didn’t come home earlier than his usual because he feels bad for asking you to cover the evening, but you know that’s a blatant lie. He is home by three and frees you for the rest of the afternoon, leaving you with about two extra hours. He informs you that he would be leaving around seven, so dinner time will still be his duty, but you’ll have to put Izzy to bed at her usual time, which works perfectly for you.

A little before seven Harry disappears to take a quick shower and get changed before heading out, while you sit out in the living room with Izzy, reading her from a book she chose after dinner.

When Harry returns, he is dressed more casually than he usually does for work, wearing a pair of beige slacks and a black shirt tucked into it, the first three buttons left undone, showing just a hint of his tattooed chest for the viewers.

“Okay, I just called a car, it’ll be here any minute. Please call me if anything happens, I could come home anytime.”

“Harry, I take care of her all day, I’m sure we’ll be fine for one evening as well,” you chuckle, trying to ease his nervousness about leaving his daughter home at a time he is not used to.

“Right,” he lets out a soft chuckle. “Thank you again. And Izzy, be good. Y/N will put you to bed tonight, but I’ll be here in the morning, okay?”

“Okay!” she sings, completely fine with the new arrangement.

“Alright, see you soon, good night!” he calls out on his way out of the house.

Sitting at the rooftop bar, Harry and Niall take up a small table for two near the railing so they have a nice view of the city below them. The waitress brings their order, tequila on the rocks for Harry and a good pint for Niall, and the latter man can’t ignore the fact how pretty she is in her tight white shirt and short black skirt, smiling coyly at the men as she asks if they want anything else.

“We’re good for now, Darling. Thank yeh,” Niall smirks and even winks at the woman, who is seemingly enjoying the attention from him, but deep down she would be happier if it was Harry who was trying to flirt with him. However he is busy on his phone, typing out an email even at this ungodly hour, which pisses his friend off.

“Would you stop being a workaholic prick and maybe glance at the woman that wants to fuck the shit out of you?” Niall snaps at him, grabbing his attention, but he just rolls his eyes.

“That would require my interest as well, which is not there.”

“That’s fucking sad. Really, mate. How long are you going to act like a crybaby? I’m getting tired of your long face. I get it, shit happened, but you eventually have to move on.”

Harry tries to ignore his words, eyes glued to the screen of his phone hoping his friend would just drop it, but that’s not what Niall is like. So instead of leaving him to be, he grabs his phone, snaps it right out of his hands and then shoves it into his pocket.

“Hey! What the fuck?!” he growls at his friend who just gives him a hard look.

“Harry, I’m worried about you. You do nothing, just work and be with Izzy.”

“So you’re saying I shouldn’t spend time with my daughter?” he asks twisting his words.

“You know that’s not what I mean. Spend as much time with her as possible, but don’t forget to take care of yourself.”

“I’m taking care of myself. I sleep and eat well and I workout regularly. I don’t see what else I might need.” “Fuck. You need to fuck,” he points out, making Harry roll his eyes again.

“You know, sometimes I question why we are even friends…” Harry grumbles under his breath as he takes a sip from his drink, feeling like he definitely needs the alcohol if Niall is gonna pick on him all night.

“Because I’m the one who pushes you out of your pit of sorrow, m’friend. And right now I feel like I need to step in, because you are turning into a bitter old man.”

“I’m not bitter,” Harry narrows his eyes at him.

“And neither are you old, so why are you acting like you are?”

“Look, I know that you are a fan of the bachelor life, going to parties, sleeping around with any woman you can get, but that’s just not for me, it never was, not even a long time ago.”

“I’m not trying to get you to act like a frat boy, Har. I know you are too soft for that, but I think it might be time for you to, I don’t know, open up a bit.”

“Open up?”

“Yeah! Go out, meet new people, preferably women,” he adds with a knowing look. “It’s been more than three years, Harry. You can’t stay at home and mope around forever.”

“I really don’t think we should be having this conversation right now.”

“If not now, then when? I tried to talk to you about it many times, but you always just dodged it, so I gave you more time to adjust to the situation, but I think we are over that,” Niall sighs, leaning onto the table. “We both know time flies by. Soon Izzy will go to school, she’ll have her own little life and before you could even blink twice, she is gonna be a teenager, barely talking to you, only caring about some boyband, her friends and shows. The time will come when you’ll have to step back a little and I don’t want you to stay alone.”

“First of all, Izzy is 4 and she won’t be allowed to even think about being independent until she is twenty,” Harry starts off as Niall rolls his eyes at him.

“Yeah, sure. You’ll have an amazing time when she becomes a teenager.”

“Don’t even talk about her being a teenager.”

“It’s going to happen!” Niall snaps and Harry narrows his eyes at him. “Okay, let’s just calm down.” He takes a deep breath even though he is the only one getting mad right now. Harry might feel uncomfortable, but he is not one to lose his temper that easily. Niall on the other hand is known to be a little too passionate at times.

“Alright. Please know that I’m just trying to be a good friend. What happened is tragic and I can’t even imagine what you went through, though I was here all along so I have a slight guess. I’m happy that you are doing vehemently better now, it’s amazing, but I know that you’ll be miserable if you stay single forever.”

“I’m not gonna start dating, Niall. It’s just… too soon. I can’t get into a relationship now.” Harry shakes his head, gulping from his drink again, the alcohol burns down his throat as he grimaces shortly.

“I get it that you don’t want a relationship, but dating might not be that bad. I’m pretty sure there are some hot single moms you know who would love to go out with you for dinner or some shit.”

“I’m not interested in any of them,” he shrugs.

“Then what about Y/N?” Harry’s eyes snap up at his friend, flexing his jaw out of instinct.

“What about her?”

“She is pretty, nice and funny, completely your type. Why don’t you try it with her?”

“She works for me,” Harry replies right away.

“No one fucking cares,” Niall scoffs. “And because you didn’t say that you don’t like her, I assume you are into her.”

Harry lets out a heavy sighs shaking his head. You’ve not been the only one who’s been noticing the other. Ever since he has caught you watching him while doing his morning yoga, he couldn’t shake the thought of you and he took a special notice about a lot of things about you. Like the way you scrunch your nose every time you smile when Izzy says a word wrong, or the way you like to put up your hair into a ponytail when you’re playing with her in the backyard and there’s always a tiny strand that hangs lose at the back of your neck because it’s too short to reach up to the ponytail, but his favorite thing is how your voice is a little hoarse in the morning when you come down for the first time from upstairs. The thought that he is always the first person you talk to in the morning just brings this pleasant feeling into the pit of his stomach, something he hasn’t felt in a long time.

He can’t deny that he finds you beautiful either, how could he not? You’re just a wonderful person inside and out and he is thankful his daughter is in such good hands when he is away at work. But he hasn’t dared to think further than this, his mind just doesn’t let him, however Niall’s words are now poking at the sleeping giant.

“Stop assuming things,” Harry mumbles, looking away from his friend, feeling like he is being grilled.

“Stop denying things,” Niall retorts, earning a huff from Harry. “Okay, don’t ask her out just yet, but try to get closer to her. Become friends, try to open up and get to know her a little more!”

“I don’t want to get closer to her!” he replies, but he can easily point out how big of a lie that is, even though he is trying his best to make himself believe that it’s not.

“So you don’t have a crush on her?” Niall raises his eyebrows at him.

“Where are we, in middle school? I’m 31, I don’t have crushes,” Harry scoffs.

“Okay so then you don’t mind it if I ask her out?”

“You are not asking her out, Niall,” he sternly replies, reaching for his drink once again, that’s nearing its end very closely. He needs to order another one if Niall decides to be an asshole all night.

“Why not? He seemed to like me when we met, I think we both would have a nice evening, might even take her home—“

“Shut up, Niall. You are not going out with her!”

“Really? What’s stopping me?” he smirks, knowing well what he is doing and where this is heading. Harry opens his mouth, but then no words come out, because he realizes what he wanted to say should not be said out loud.

Because I like her, a tiny voice tells him in his mind. Niall’s smirk grows even bigger, because even though Harry didn’t answer, his face tells it all, confirming what he has been trying to force out of him all evening.

“Yeah, just as I thought,” he laughs, taking a few gulps from his beer. “I’m not telling you to fuck her brains out immediately, but it might be nice if you just got to know her a bit more. And if things seem to take, like… a turn, if you know what I mean, don’t chicken out, just go with it.”

“You know, Niall, you should worry about your own love life the way you worry about mine.”

“There’s nothing to worry about!” He beams, clearly without a worry. “I’m too good of a catch to be tied down, so I’m enjoying life to the fullest right now.”

“Aren’t you tired of waking up next to a different woman every morning?” Harry sighs, feeling exhausted just to think about the way his friend lives.

“Don’t judge for something you never tried. I like it, it fulfills all my needs, why should I change?”

“Because you worry about me ending up alone when it’s most likely gonna be you.” Harry gives him a look, but it doesn’t seem to affect him. He shrugs it off easily.

“Difference is that I like being alone, but you don’t. You are wired to have a partner in the long run while I’m perfectly fine with my adventures. So do me a favor, and be less of a little hermit. You’ll thank me later.”

Niall’s words stick to Harry’s head more than he would have liked it. The two friends stay at the bar until about midnight and while Harry leaves to go straight home, Niall heads to another direction with the pretty waitress on his arm, who served their drinks relentlessly all night.

Arriving back home Harry tips the driver generously before heading inside, seeing that you’re still up, the lights in the living room and the TV illuminating the area. Walking further inside he spots you cozied up on the couch, a thick blanket thrown over yourself as you watch some kind of detective documentary, chewing on your bottom lip in focus. He can’t help the smile that tugs on his lips at the sight of you, taking just a split second to savor the moment and wrap it up in his mind.

“Hey, why are you still up?” he questions walking inside. Your eyes tear away from the screen, blinking up at him as you smile slightly, pushing yourself up into a sitting position. Rounding the couch Harry joins you, sitting down as he runs a hand through his hair.

“Got caught up a little,” you chuckle, nodding your head towards the TV. “Did you have a good time?”

“As much as it’s possible to have a good time with Niall around,” he chuckles, making you smile.

“He is not that bad, is he?”

“He can be a little asshole sometimes,” he admits. “But it was fine, we had a nice… talk.”

“I’m glad,” you smile sheepishly, before turning back to the TV.

Harry’s eyes snap to the screen as well, but he is not following the case at all, his mind is busy thinking about everything Niall has told him.

It really has been three long and torturous years without his beloved wife and just as Niall said, the beginning of this time was almost lethal. He never thought there would be a day when he would wake up and not feel like curling up into a ball and just cry all day. Those times are now gone, because with a lot of help from his friends, family and even a therapist, he was able to find his purpose in life again: his daughter.

Harry knows that his friend is right, he can’t live his life on his own, that’s just not how he is built, but it’s not as easy as it seems. Especially with the haunting thoughts he has been harboring, kept away from everyone in his life, because he has always been too afraid to say them out loud. That would make them become even realer than they already feel to him.

Sitting on the couch next to Harry you glance at him for a second and can almost see the gears turning in his head.

“Everything alright?” you softly ask. His green eyes flicker over to you, as if he is debating whether he should talk or not.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” you nod.

“But it’s kind of personal.”

“Okay, then ask and I’ll decide if I want to answer or not,” you chuckle softly, pushing yourself up a little so you can focus on him better.

“After things ended with your… ex, when you found out that he was cheating on you… How long did it take you to get back out to the field, if you know what I mean.”

His question surprises you, it really is a personal matter and you’re not sure why he felt the need to ask you about it especially now, but you have a guess why it’s relatable for him. You lost someone you loved and though the situation is a very different nature, somehow it’s still similar in a way.

“Well, I told you earlier that it was the kind of situation where I blamed myself for what he did,” you start off and Harry nods, patiently and curiously listening to what you are saying. “I was convinced that he cheated because I wasn’t enough, because I didn’t give him everything he wanted and that it was all my fault. It took me weeks to see clearly and realize that even if I wasn’t giving him everything, it wouldn’t have given him the right to cheat on me. Sometimes it’s really hard to lift the blame off yourself, especially when you were the one putting it there.”

Harry’s lips part at your words and because he is not speaking, you’re not sure if it’s the good or bad kind. You really wish you could just read his honest thoughts, but it seems like he is keeping them to himself so you continue.

“I think it took me a good, like… four months to actually move on. I went on a date for the first time about six months after Keith and I broke up. I’m not saying I’m over the fact that I was cheated on, but it’s not stopping me anymore to live my life. I had to accept that just because of what happened, I still deserve happiness and to be loved.”

Love is a beautiful thing, but it’s very powerful and you learned it the hard way. To love and be loved is essential, love makes life so much better and more special, but it can also scar you terribly and leave you dried out and in pain. You have to learn to accept the love you get and remember it whenever you are not getting enough. It’s a rollercoaster, but the highs make the whole ride worth it.

Harry stays silent as you turn your attention back at the TV, seeing that he is busy chewing on your words. Whatever his reason was to ask you, he is clearly processing the answer he got, making his own conclusions and you wouldn’t want to bother him while he does that.

The documentary soon ends and you realize how late it really is. Saturday is your day off, but you don’t want to sleep through the whole thing, you have a few errands to run. So switching the TV off you fold the blanket and drop it into the basket next to the couch. Harry snaps out of his thoughts when you stand up from the couch, realizing that you’ve shut the TV off already.

“I’m going to bed, you should too,” you smile at him softly as he nods, standing up as well.

You’re already on the stairs when Harry calls out after you. Turning around you keep one foot on the next step, glancing over at him, still standing by the couch.

“I’m… I’m really sorry he couldn’t appreciate you.”

You smile at him warmly, because it says so much about him as a person. Apologizing for something he had absolutely no control over, something someone else did, someone he doesn’t even know. Yet he still felt the need to say sorry.

“It’s alright. I’ll find the person who’ll give me the love I deserve,” you tell him before turning back around and walking away.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

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[yostresswritinggirl]

One of the first few girls I'll ever write in here wobdoswsn- I'm going on my base knowledge of Jean here and it's not gonna be a pretty start, mind you. I don't ship characters really but I see the dynamic in this one, honestly one of the fics that are easiest to write for me. Also I just realized how many poly asks are there aodhsosnxons—

Chivalry Isn't Dead

Poly Relationship Scenarios with You, Jean and Diluc!

Background (How It Started)

You are a knight in Ordo Favonius, the place where you met Jean and Diluc for the first time. You were there when they both started and you were also there when they ascended to be the Dandelion Knight and the Cavalry Captain.

You became close first with the captain, the first one you've met between them, because of the fact that you were under his unit. Back then he was very open and close with you, teaching you and making sure you were intact.

When Jean ascended, that's when she found out about you due to the nature of her work as one of the higher-ups. She found you so endearing with your whole-hearted desire to secure Mondstadt.

Jean knew about Diluc for a while now due to his status as one of the youngest to ascend in Captain hood and how their work was closely aligned, and they both collaborate with their silent oaths to protect you. The trio of you are VERY confused over your own feelings, wondering what exactly this entails or which one would you have to choose.

In the span of that mulling, you three had become very close due to your intervention, the glue that keeps you all together literally. You're very physical when you're dealing with people you consider very close, and the both of them always melt upon your embrace.

Between the both of them was light-hearted competition on who can make you feel safer, protect you better. And you are ever so dense over their friendly banter, and the sexual tension between them.

When Diluc left the knights, you had been under the comfort and command of Jean instead, taking your place away from the Cavalry unit to be those of the stationary knights to assist her after she became the Acting Grandmaster. You were devastated over his disappearance the most due to your closeness and Jean was the only person who could keep you sane.

The relationship starts in that period with you and Jean as the first set of couples.

When Diluc came back, his relationship with Jean became estranged and yet there was still a hint of comfort when he was under your presence. Jean was a bit devastated at their new status quo as she had come into terms of her feelings about him during his leave.

You spent most of your time then trying to get close to Diluc again and his feelings came back tenfold, making him finally confess. In front of you and Jean. the tension was thick when Jean finally caught her breath to inform Diluc of your relationship with her.

Horrified yet still adamant, Diluc stood his ground and looked at you both, millions of emotions flashing through his red irises. Jean looked at him longingly and of the old memories they shared protecting you. And you... were trying to understand why you desire them both in the same level.

Your honesty over the situation suddenly opened up the idea of polyamory and it seems that despite the tension between the two ex/knights, with you as their mediator and lover, they were willing to try or wait until you choose only one of them.

Spoilers: You chose both in the end.

How The Relationship Goes

While things go nicely between you and the other two, when it comes to them alone it was... weird. You pretty much carry the triangle here as they were both wary of displaying affection with each other, and most of it has to do with the reputation they have to uphold.

Jean protects you at day, Diluc makes sure you're safe at night. The nature of their work had you evenly split between the both of them and you three chance a fully present meet up by evening when Diluc is still on his shift and Jean has finished her work early.

Speaking of, you and Diluc fret over Jean's overworking albeit different in approach. Diluc would be brash about his opinion, calling her out while still offering materials that may help ever so subtly. While you are more adamant, sometimes dragging her off her seat and you taking over her work while she rests on the couch.

Since her work correlates with yours, you always put double the effort to help her with commissions to make sure it gets cut faster. This sometimes backfires with the both of you overworked, a disappointed Diluc pulling you both to the Winery to relax by the fireplace without the scandalous rumors sparking.

When you show physical affection Jean, she always reciprocates it the best she can, happily granting you attention and letting you cling to her during work. Your presence grounds her, relaxing her at the same time with your bouts of comfort.

When you indulge Diluc with affection, he's stoic and cross armed usually. Because of the nature of his work at the tavern, giving him some loving would need to be done while he works or not at all. The customers would find you behind the counter, clinging to his waist as Diluc serves the drinks nonchalantly, sometimes he wears glare if people were about to comment on it and that usually shuts them up.

Behind closed doors however the Ragnvindr indulges you too with his affection, still stoic but reciprocal, the rarity of it making it the more precious.

Dates RARELY happen between you three because of the fully loaded schedule all three of you have. It only ever happens when you all suddenly have free time or you cry about it.

The both of them spoil you a lot more than you'd realize. Diluc gifts you and Jean materialistically, while yours were small trinkets, Jean's are more for functionality or items that had slipped past her lips once of which Diluc remembers.

Sugar daddy Diluc for the both of you, motherly Jean in retaliation, and you're just their precious darling that will never be hurt under their supervision.

In time, Diluc and Jean would end up getting closer but still behind closed doors for safety. It was only ever you that's so shameless to pour out affection in full display and these two are too intoxicated by your love to pull you away.

During daytime on a weirdly usual occassions the people of Mond frequently spots your trio strolling hand-in-hand around the city, lively chatter about anything and everything before going back to your stuffy workspaces. Diluc would part a few feet away from the headquarters with a kiss on the head for you two. And when he turns back, you and Jean would giggle to yourselves before going to work.

Bonus: Diluc has asked for a professional painter to paint you and Jean, said canvas hanging at his office in the Winery. Jean has a Kamera photo of you three by her office too. And you have them both in a locket.

As Leverage

Your highly advantageous position to garner the heart of not only the Acting Grandmaster's but also the holder of the wine tycoon (and Darknight Hero) had made you a target for many lecherous beings.

While those with mind do not outright take you away, opting to trying to get to your good side as leverage, there are rascals like the Abyss Order who just does what they want and can.

The moment you disappear, both of them are immediately alerted due to their schedules coinciding with yours. And with your kidnapping, they too slip into the shadows, never to return for days.

It was one of the scarce moments that Diluc and Jean are in perfect sync, knowing each other's plans and next move, falling into each other's pace as they carefully concoct their plan for your retrieval.

Jean would definitely cry. As she was the one who mostly basks in your presence, there are many parts of her breakdown that comes to play: the heavy work left behind, your comforting presence that keeps her alive, and the fact that she lost you when she's supposed to keep an eye on you as per silent agreement with Diluc.

She'd cry at him, telling him she's sorry for being careless, and Diluc would comfort her in his arms without ending up as broken as her. This moment had established a bond between them that would be a solid foundation to your triangle, but also a better understanding of how important you are to them.

You disappear three days maximum with how quick and smart they are about the kidnapping.

Abyss Mages were almost forgotten with how quiet they suddenly got after that incident. That massacre.

While traumatized, you are also more than happy to see the newfound closeness between your lovers, as you melt into their tight cuddles after rescuing you.

There may or may not be talks of plans about you and Jean moving in the Winery officially.

Ugh, so cute!!! my bi ass was on full blast here-

@moaa @dandelion-dreams @witchsungie @zelos-simp @legionqueensav @snackgod @rxsalinee @cala-ran @wind-wheel

[calpalirwin]

Diplomatic Affairs

Summary: Being Queen as a figure-head position is almost a walk in the park. If one can look past having dinner with the newly elected officials of government, some of whom happen to be ex-boyfriends.

A/N: Part 2 to The Suitors

Word Count: 2.6k

And away, and away we go!

__

5 Years Later

“Ma’am, the King is requesting your presence,” Michael said, his head peering through the doorway.

You straightened your necklace, before smoothing your hands down the skirt of your dress, giving yourself one last lookover in the mirror. “Where is he?”

“Office, ma’am.”

“Thank you, Michael,” you smiled as you moved past him. “How long until the guests arrive?”

Michael checked his watch. “A half hour.”

“Perfect.” 

While it would have been customary for Michael to accompany you down to the offices, and announce your arrival to the King, Michael knew you preferred the less formal approaches when the circumstances permitted. You rapped your knuckles once against the door, waiting for the call of “Come in,” before pushing your way into the room.

The King had his back to you, staring out the window. His suit jacket lay neatly across the back of his chair, and the sleeves of his button down were rolled midway up his forearms. It was his preferred way of wearing his suit when he could, and you couldn’t disagree with the choice. “You sent for me?” you prompted when he still didn’t turn his attention from the window.

He turned then, a warm smile on his face. “Yes, I-” he paused to clear his throat, his cheeks coloring. “You look amazing, darling.”

“Looking pretty sharp yourself, Cal,” you returned the compliment as you each crossed the room to each other, meeting in the middle.

“No,” he said with a shake of his head, his tone a low rasp you knew well. “You look like we’re bound to get in trouble if we’re alone much longer.”

You sighed, titling your head to the side as his lips found your neck. “Michael did say something about there being a spare half hour.”

“The things I have in mind will require much longer,” Calum said, before straightening up and clearing his throat.

You sighed again, this time in discontent. “Well, I suspect we’ll find time to finish that particular business later?” you asked, your fingers grazing where his mouth had just been, wishing it was still there.

“Earliest convenience, promise,” he winked.

“And what’s this particular meeting about then?”

“Right. Yes. Uh, it’s the guest list.” He went around to his desk, shuffling through papers, his fingers trailing down one of them.

“What about it?” you asked, moving to stand by his side, looking at whatever held his interest.

“It's dinner with members of Parliament.”

“I’m aware. What of it?”

“None of these names look familiar to you?”

You glanced down at the list. Prime Minister Lord James. Secretary of Commerce Duke Charles. And Secretary of Defense Lord Sebastian. “Oh, it’ll be lovely to see James and Charles again! I’m glad their elections went in their favor.”

“Yes, the more amiable of your ex-boyfriends. And then there’s…” Calum let his sentence trail off, and you could easily guess the words of disdain for the newest Secretary of Defense.

“Our favorite person,” you deadpanned. “Pleasant.”

“False. Collectively, our favorite person happens to be the Prince. Individually, you’re my favorite person.”

“I would certainly hope your wife and son would top the list of your favorite people,” you laughed.

“Speaking of our son, where is he?”

“Either with the nanny, or running security ragged. Most likely both.”

“We should go rescue them, huh?”

“We definitely should.”

“Oh, look! There’s Mommy and Daddy!” Kaykay, the nanny, breathed in relief as you and Calum came out to the garden in search of your son.

“There is a god,” Ashton, the head of security, joked, clasping his hands together and thanking the sky, making both you and Calum laugh as Noah ran straight for you and Calum with a shriek of “Mommy! Daddy!”

“Well, don’t you look handsome!” you cooed at the boy as Calum lifted him up in his arms. “Just like Daddy.”

“All clean!” the three year old beamed.

“Yes, you did stay clean for dinner. Great job, bud,” Calum told him, and you each mouthed thanks to Ashton and Kaykay knowing they had more to do with keeping Noah clean than Noah did.

“Want to play,” Noah said sadly.

“All day tomorrow,” Calum said.

“With you?!”

“Yes, bud. All day tomorrow. Me, you, and Mommy.”

“Pwomise?”

“Promise,” you smiled sweetly at him. Then, “Are you ready to meet your guests?”

“Weady!”

Perhaps it wasn’t the standard to have a three year old sit in on a stuffy dinner, congratulating the newly elected officials in government. But with how busy you and Calum could become, you both liked to include Noah in your affairs whenever possible. And the idea of subjecting the young boy to a dinner without his parents wasn’t an idea that you found all that appealing, having remembered growing up with about as many dinners with members of staff as your own parents. A childhood you didn’t want to subject your son to if you could help it. And, as the Queen, you could.

As luck would have it, as you all made your way inside, you spotted Michael rushing your way. “First guest is here, ma’am.”

“So it begins,” you said, putting on a smile. And begin it did, because when the door opened to let in the first guest, Lord Sebastian was on the other side. Punctual bastard…

~~~

“Is there a spare bedroom or…?” Calum let the sentence hang in the air between the two of you.

“There are several. But when I asked you to stay over, I meant with me in my room if that’s alright.”

“It’s more than alright with me. I don’t want there to be any insinuation. There’s already going to be a scandal with the Little Lord as is.”

“As far as I’m concerned, Lord Sebastian had a lapse in judgment, and then you escorted me home. That’s my side of the story anyway. What say you?”

“I say you’re already thinking like a queen.”

Quietly, the two of you made your way into the castle and towards your room. “Can you, erm…” You twirled your index finger in a circle.

“Yeah, of course,” Calum nodded, closing his eyes and facing away from you. “Just say when.”

Quickly, you changed for bed and got yourself situated under the covers. “Okay, you can look now.”

“And I suppose now it’s my turn to ask you to close your eyes?”

You covered your eyes with your hands, peeking out at him through your fingers. “Cheeky thing, you are,” he laughed, stripping out of his clothes and lying them neatly on a chair. “Is this what I have to look forward to in the future? You peeking at me through your fingers?”

“Well, there are separate bedrooms for the King and Queen, so you could have your own privacy if you wish.”

“Mmm, now where’s the fun in that?” he asked, and you felt the bed dip as he got in next to you.

“A remaining product of when the castle was built, unfortunately. Although, they were kind enough to make them adjoining rooms. In recent years, not much use has been made of the Queen’s room, as one can imagine why.”

“Well, when I’m King, my first order of business is to have that wall taken down. A remodel for the modern age.”

“If you’re King,” you corrected in a teasing tone. “Don’t consider yourself safe simply because you’re the only one I’m seeing now.”

He chuckled softly. “If I’m King,” he said, “it’ll be the greatest title I ever hold to my name. Not because it's the title of King, mind you. But because it means you’re my Queen.”

“Keep talking like that, and that day may come sooner than you think.”

“What you call talking, I call making plans.”

“In that case, I can talk all night.”

Calum chuckled again, drawing you close to him. “As much as I would love that, we’ve had an eventful night, and no doubt have an eventful morning ahead of us. Try and get some rest, okay?”

“Okay,” you nodded, settling into the pillows and Calum, feeling the exhaustion set in. “G’night.”

“G’night, darling.”

You weren’t sure how long you had been asleep, nor if you had even fallen asleep at all before you were startling awake. Adrenaline pounded through your veins as you oriented yourself, realizing you weren’t in fact still stuck with Sebastian in a horrible nightmare. However, your relief at waking from the dream was short-lived when you calmed down enough to be aware of an extra body in your bed. You froze in terror, not daring to make a sound, while also contemplating screaming at the top of your lungs.

The body next to you stirred, and you scurried from bed, breathing heavily, both ready to confront whoever was with you, and run for your life if necessary. “Darling?” Calum’s voice rasped heavily with sleep. “You alright?”

Your body went weak with relief, and you put out your hands to catch yourself on the bed before shakily crawling back in. “That… Was terrifying.”

“Mmm, what happened?” he asked, trying to rouse himself awake.

“Nightmare coupled with forgetting you were here.”

Calum stiffened. “That bastard… You sure you’re alright?”

“Better than I was a few moments ago,” you answered honestly.

“I know the nightmares will probably persist for a while, but know that future King or not, I’m never going to let him get close enough to you for him to even think of laying a hand on you ever again.”

“Between you and the new security detail I’ll no doubt be assigned by my father once he learns what happened, not only will I be the most protected heir in history, but having any sort of nightmare will feel incredibly foolish. In fact, it already feels foolish. I know I’m safe.”

“It’s not foolish. However you have to process this event is however you have to process it. And I’ll be here to help you through it as long as you let me.”

~~~

“Your Majesties,” Lord Sebastian greeted with a bow.

“Your Lordship,” you and Calum each returned, you with a small curtsy, and Calum with a bow of his own.

“Your Royal Highness,” Lord Sebastian then bowed to the Prince.

“Your Wordship,” Noah replied, with his own little bow.

“Raising him well, I see,” Sebastian commented offhandedly.

“Never too young to learn how to behave Princely,” you smiled sweetly.

The blue sea stormed over briefly at the dig, then Sebastian cleared his throat. “Yes, well.”

“What my wife meant to say was congratulations on your election. We wish you success in your new position,” Calum stepped in.

“Yes, of course,” you nodded.

“Thank you,” Sebastian said, turning his attention to Calum. “And I suppose I should offer you the same congratulations on your successes since we last saw each other. A wedding, a coronation, and a son. Quite the list of accomplishments.”

“Congratulations carry the notion that I won something, Your Lordship. I assure you that my accomplishments, as you call them, are the natural progression of living my life. A natural progression I’m sure would have befallen anyone else in my position.”

“Yes, quite. Although, some would consider marrying into the most royal of families a win of the highest regard.”

“Some lesser minded folk, I’m certain.”

“Ah, yes. A reluctant king, how could I have forgotten.”

Calum’s jaw ticked slightly, and for a moment, the three of you were five years younger on a London street, Calum and Sebastian one insult away from pummeling each other. “Reluctancy suggests that there was hesitance, of which I assure you there was none on my part whenever it came to the Queen. In fact, if memory serves, it was you who was the hesitant one. Now remind me, what were your hesitancies with becoming King again? An archaic notion of gender norms, was it not? Pity. However, I suppose your position with the military, and now your newest rank brings you great joy. Not a lot of women to outrank you in your current status I assume. Yes, a great joy indeed for you, isn’t it?”

“Are you suggesting I have a problem with women in positions in power?”

“No, of course not. It’s not a suggestion at all. One needs to barely glance your direction to come to that conclusion for oneself.”

Sebastian’s eyes darkened again, and his mouth twisted to continue trading insults with Calum, but Michael came in to announce the arrival of more guests at the same time Luke came from the kitchens to announce dinner was ready.

“Foot hurt?” Noah asked with concern as you all made your way into the dining room, pointing a little finger at the way Lord Sebastian’s right foot slightly dragged.

“Residual effect of a training exercise gone awry a few years back. Likes to flare up from time to time is all,” Sebastian explained, more for your and Calum’s benefit than Noah’s.

“How terrible,” Calum deadpanned.

“Otay?” Noah checked.

“Yes, Lord Sebastian’s foot is fine, sweet one,” you told your son.

~~~

“Well, are we right in assuming that Lord Sebastian would put out a statement about how the Princess attacked him?” your mother asked, after you and Calum had relayed the story the following morning.

“Attacked him?! Oh, please…” you scoffed.

“If Lord Sebastian puts out a statement, that could very well be the story he leads with, at the very least. At most, he puts forth a statement that he was attacked both by you and Calum,” your father put in.

“So, what are our options because that’s exactly what he’ll do,” Calum asked.

“Lord Sebastian is the military one, yes?”

“Yes,” you nodded.

“Hmm. I can work with that.”

“And the Princess’ wrist and her nightmares?” Calum pressed.

“It’s a small bruise, Cal. Nothing that won’t fade in a week’s time, or that a little makeup can’t cover,” you assured him.

“And the nightmares?” he continued to press anyway.

“I suspect the nightmares will subside in their own time. But there will be a new security detail assigned to you,” your father directed at you.

~~~

“Well, that was…” you started as you and Calum got ready for bed, but faltered on what words you wanted to use.

“Dreadfully boring?” Calum supplied.

“So dreadfully boring. Men and their politics are always the same. Grandiose are the plans they promise to the people for advancement or change. All for it to die on the Parliament floor. If any change is made at all, it’s only to secure a re-election, and it’s subtle and underhanded in just the right way that nothing actually becomes of it. A complete mockery of what it’s supposed to be.”

“Usually, I’d be in agreement with you. That the original intention of the government was to do what the crown neglected to do. But, as the crown, we now have the power to make sure the government is responsible to the people it governs. After all, isn’t that the function of a constitutional monarchy? For the crown and the government to hold each other accountable?”

“In an ideal system, yes. However, for that to work, it would require us to play nicely with a certain Lord Sebastian, and I quite despise the man.”

“Yes, that will prove to be an obstacle. But he’s one man in comparison to the rest of the government. Surely we can institute change without needing him on our side.”

“I suppose you’re right. But, all that business can wait until later, as we have plans with the Prince tomorrow.”

“That we do. And if I remember correctly, we also have unfinished business ourselves that needed attending to.”

“Mmm,” you hummed, carding your fingers through the curls at the nape of his neck. “And, remind me. What business was that precisely?”

“I think this might help jog your memory,” he rasped, before his lips attacked the sweet spot just above your collarbone. Then, his hands were guiding you to jump in his arms, where you carried you to the bed, giggles and then sighs echoing off the walls, as his mouth trailed a path lower and lower on your body.

__

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[dramaticviolincrescendo]

Okay, what are your thoughts on Ian's relationships? With his family, his boyfriends, and Mandy (since I think that's the only friend he's had)

Oh, no. Ohhhhhhhh, no. Now you’ve done it. You’ve asked about my dear, darling favorite character on the show. My love for one Ian Gallagher runs deep, which means this answer is going to run super long. The good, the bad, and everything in between—Ian Gallagher lives rent free in my brain and always will. I derive so much satisfaction from seeing Ian interact with other people, in whatever capacity that might be. I admire and aspire to the compassion he has shown for others over the years, even and perhaps most especially those who arguably haven’t earned it. He tries so hard to be good to people, and seeing their love for him manifest when he’s reached such lows where he can’t even fathom why the love of his life would want to be with him forever? That’s powerful.

So, yeah. I said I could write essays on these characters, and that’s exactly what you’re about to get: five hours and 6k words’ worth of my thoughts. (I am so sorry. There will be text walls.)

Let’s dive into Ian’s many and multifaceted relationships—his family, his friends, and his romantic pursuits.

Ian and Family

Ian told us where he stood on this in the very first season, and it set the standard for his character for eleven years to come. Faced with a prospect that others in his position could only dream of—not being Frank’s son and having a wealthy father with a functional, prosperous lifestyle mere miles away—Ian refused to buy into it. He refused to do what might have been objectively better for his future by seeking a relationship with Clayton. In that household, he would have had access to a better public school, more financial resources, a tutor to help him where he was struggling, and less urgency for him to work so that he could enjoy being a kid. When he got sick, he would have had access to better healthcare, too. Perhaps he would have had a better shot at West Point from that background than he did at home. But that’s just it: home was with his family, and he was very clear that they didn’t live in that nice house. All he wanted—all he wanted—was to be with his brothers and sisters. He has never referred to them as only half-siblings or half-cousins; he has never even used the words, “you’re not my dad,” on Frank. That’s his family, the people he loves most in the world, and he’s always been at his best when he’s with them and at his worst when he’s not. Let’s look at each of them:

1.      Frank: It is so striking to me that Ian doesn’t appear to hold the outright contempt for Frank that Fiona, Lip, and Debbie have exhibited at different points over the years. Aside from the handful of instances where they’ve gotten into physical altercations (which Frank always initiated) and kicking him out of the house on occasion, Ian is simply indifferent to him. But there are these moments, these brief glimmers of mutual attachment and loyalty, if those are the right words. In the scene where Ian famously doesn’t count to three before using the pepper spray on him, Frank starts saying how his New Gallaghers weren’t his real kids—that Ian is his real son, and Frank is his real father. It’s a passing thought uttered while trying to manipulate his way into the house that neither of them think much of, nor does the audience…until you remember that biologically, Frank isn’t his father, and he certainly hasn’t behaved like one either. Ian has more right than anyone to comment on that, but he doesn’t because Frank is his father. He’s the father that Ian idly hoped wouldn’t come to his wedding yet sat joking about with Debbie rather than getting pissed off that he was making out with some lady in front of everyone. He’s the father who sat at the table with them eating breakfast in 11x03 and claimed Mickey was the man in their relationship without Ian saying a word to him about it, and who Ian saw no issue with taking Franny to school when no one else could. In s4, as far removed from his family as he’d been for a while, Ian still went straight to the hospital when he heard that Frank was at death’s door. We focus so much on his attitude towards Monica because of how obvious it was that we frequently miss these tiny moments and their implications. It would take an awful lot of patience, compassion, and love not to write Frank off completely after all he’s done. Not necessarily our standard definition of love between a son and his father, perhaps, but a loving soul.

2.      Monica: I have actually written a pretty lengthy post about his relationship with her because while their shared mental illness definitely plays a role in his feelings toward her, that grew complicated far earlier than his diagnosis. The first time we meet her, we see that he has a visceral reaction to news of her presence. He runs. When Ian can’t process strong emotions, that’s what he’s done in the past. I happened upon an interview Cameron did just after the end of s1 where he mentioned something I had already been thinking: Ian’s age when Monica left is extremely important. He was a kid in s1, but one who could roll with the punches, sometimes literally. She left them two years before that. Ian would have been in middle school, roughly as old as Debbie was when she still called Frank “daddy” and forgave him for everything he did. It’s an awkward age that once again set Ian in something of a danger zone—too old to accept an excuse or no explanation at all, but not old enough to process the situation in a healthy way. And then she’s back all of a sudden with no warning. Ian doesn’t cry like Debbie, and he doesn’t typically get explosively angry like Fiona. He can’t deal, so he runs. He hangs back. He only speaks when he has to and compartmentalizes: Monica wants to take Liam, and they need to stop her. It doesn’t have to be about her leaving. They have a goal—he can focus on that. And then she’s back a year later, saying she’s here to stay while Fiona seems to take her at her word and Lip isn’t there to ground everyone. Ian tries so hard to behave like Lip would with his biting sarcasm and attempts to stay emotionally distant in a way that seemed pretty exaggerated for Ian, but he’s also dealing with a fresh wave of guilt over Mickey going to juvie—and Monica gets it. She’s the only person to acknowledge that he’s in pain and actively try to make it better. She’s the only one who really knows at the time, but that hardly matters. This poor kid, whose mother left him when he still needed her, has her standing in front of him and saying she’s sorry and listening when he speaks and taking him dancing—just the two of them. Embarrassing as it was and harmful as it could have been, she tried to facilitate his dreams when no one else wanted him to go into the military. She was there for him when he went AWOL. She came for him when he was arrested and even wanted to make a place for him in her new life, unrealistic as it was. This goes so much deeper than them both being bipolar. Ian’s comment about her parachuting into their lives in s7 wasn’t about Mickey or her role in them breaking up. He trusted her. He wanted her. He needed her. And she’d convinced him that she would be there—until she left. Over and over again. She was there for him and unintentionally took advantage of how desperately he still needed his mother. She made him keep loving her, and that’s both a blessing that has him crying into a voluminous man’s arms when she passes and a curse that wrecked him more than once.

3.      Fiona: The trust these two have for each other cannot be understated. Fiona has discussed things with Ian that she never brought up around any of the other kids throughout the entire series. In the pilot episode, she tells him about feeling needed and takes his opinion on the matter to heart. At the end of the season, he’s the one she talks to about the car because she can trust him to give her an answer even without speaking. In s2, she tells Lip that the two of them are her rocks, and we see that time and time again. That’s part of what makes their falling out over the church hit that much harder: it’s Ian and Fiona. The only time they’d been on the outs in any serious manner up to that point was when Ian was adjusting to his new reality and they were trying to find a balance between sister and caretaker. Otherwise, that bond of trust had never been severed—not until Ian literally sold himself only for it to amount to nothing in the end because she had no idea the lengths to which he’d gone to get that building. That damage gets mended, thankfully, but what a powerful period of time when those two were the only ones who’d never really been at each other’s throats. There is a downside to that trust, though. As I mentioned before, Ian was so responsible and put together when he was younger that Fiona didn’t think twice about his situation with Ned or that he ran away. Not even seventeen yet, and she was telling Debbie that she didn’t like his decision to leave but trusted him. That is one of the things I love about this show—even something like trust that we always prop up as an important factor in our relationships can betray us in the most unexpected ways.

4.      Lip: I won’t go into it here, but the relationship they share is something that means a lot to me on a personal level. It’s part of how I knew that Ian would become my favorite character pretty early on. The way he simultaneously admires and envies Lip, loves and is annoyed by him, relies on him and is desperate to pave his own path in the world—what a beautiful and accurate depiction of what it means to be a younger sibling. Lip is the first person to discover that he’s gay and openly accept him for it. (I think what he tried with Karen came from a well-meaning place even if it was horribly, horribly misguided.) Lip is the one who tries to get him into West Point, hate it as he does. He helps Ian when Terry is after him, takes care of him in the aftermath of the wedding when he realizes just how deeply Ian feels for Mickey, searches the whole damn city for him when he finds out that Ian is in trouble, gets him a job, leans on him in his own time of need… He’s not perfect. He slips up, just like Ian does. Some things break my heart, like Lip insisting that he’s earned his own space when his little brother is asking him for safe harbor or Ian thanking him for being his brother outside the prison. But they love each other so much, and I just… I can’t possibly put into words how much I love their dynamic.

5.      Debbie, Carl, and Liam: I’m grouping these three together because they’re further separated from Ian in age, so we see a lot of the same trends with them as a whole. Ian loves taking care of people. We know this. We also know that Fiona and Lip don’t typically want him taking care of them—they’re the ones who take care of him when he needs it, specifically Lip. With the younger three, however, Ian can be the Big Brother. He can shake his head in utter bafflement at Debbie’s obsession with holding her breath for two minutes, walk Carl through what he needs to go camping, and promise his baby brother postcards when he leaves. The difference here is that his relationship with them is so much less fraught with conflict. We don’t see him fight with Debbie, Carl, or Liam the way he has with Fiona or Lip. While Ian tends to be the voice of reason during conflicts overall, I think it’s also because he relies on his older siblings in a way that he doesn’t with his younger siblings, and the latter don’t tend to rely on him as much as Fiona or Lip as well. There’s a lack of tension in most of their interactions growing up because that pressure isn’t there. Perhaps this is where Ian’s age and standing in the family is a bit more beneficial: young enough to have people he can rely on while too young for anyone to really rely on him for more than his share of the squirrel fund.

Ian and Friends

I’ve seen it mentioned that Ian (and Mickey) not having more friends is bad or lazy writing. I tend to believe that that fails to take something into account that, admittedly, most of us don’t really have to think about: having friends is a luxury. It requires time and effort to cultivate friendships, especially lasting ones. As a kid, Ian spent a lot of his free time working or helping to manage one family crisis after another. Going AWOL, losing his health, struggling to acclimate to his illness, trying to find a new career path, spiraling into the Gay Jesus movement, going to prison, adjusting once again to normal life, getting married, a pandemic… I’m sure he’s had plenty of acquaintances over the years, but having a family to support and constant upheavals would have made it extremely difficult to really forge strong relationships with them. I think that’s part of what makes his relationship with Mandy so special and valuable to him: she’s sort of the same way.

When we met Mandy in s1, she had other friends. We saw her meet up with them and go shopping; she told Ian a story about how one was mad at her for not sharing her make-up. As the trauma in the Milkovich household reached its zenith for her in s2 and she started thinking seriously about getting out of there, we saw those friends fall by the wayside—all except Ian. He saw her and let her see him early on. That’s a level of trust and respect that nobody else in their neighborhood would have displayed, certainly not to her. But then there’s this guy who defended her against their creepy, perverted teacher and treated her like a human being, not an object. It’s no wonder she developed an obvious, unrequited crush and sought physical comfort from him occasionally. It’s no wonder she tried to repay the favor by giving Mickey a hard time in s3 and s4, misguided and rather uninformed as we know it was at the time. (It’s also no wonder that she went for the closest Gallagher to Ian, either, but that’s for another meta.)

And Ian… Ian is loyal to a fault. We have watched Ian cut out his own heart and let the blood drip down his arm to pool on the floor at his feet if it would make a damn bit of difference for the people he loves. Like Fiona and Lip, Mandy immediately accepted him for who he is and suggested an arrangement that would protect him as well as benefit her. That is enormous where they came from. To him, that had to feel like the ultimate sign of friendship: he could trust her with a part of him that he hadn’t even entrusted to most of his family yet. From that point on, she was on the List of People Ian Gallagher Would Do Anything For. Finding out about Terry and what had happened? He held a bake sale, of all things, to fundraise for her. Seeing that his brother—his best friend—was treating her like garbage? He put him in his place. Her boyfriend was beating her? He brought her home and made it his goal to find a safe place for her to stay, even if it ultimately didn’t work. She was going to move away from all of her meager support with that boyfriend? He didn’t just rally his own arguments—he brought in outside help with Lip, who he thought might tip the scales. It’s usually just a saying that true friends will help each other hide a body, but Ian literally tried to do that. Lucky for him, he has a good head on his shoulders and used it.

No, Ian doesn’t seem to have a lot of friends. We’ve seen that he has spheres of influence, if you will, and acquaintances that he can call upon when he needs them. (For example, the guys that helped with the preacher.) However, Ian has always struck me as a “quality over quantity” type of person. Being a soldier or an EMT isn’t lucrative, but they’re meaningful for someone who sees them as vehicles for helping people. Seeing more parts of the world than just Chicago has appealed to him in the past, but he seems perfectly content to carve out a spot for himself right here at home. Having only three best friends—Lip, Mandy, and Mickey—doesn’t seem like much of a hardship for him.

Ian and Romantic Pursuits

I hate to say that there were five, but from Ian’s perspective, there were. So, let’s talk about all five. Even though…there weren’t five. There was only one. We’ll save the best for last.

1.      Kash: The first of Ian’s perceived romantic pursuits that really wasn’t. I hope it goes without saying that I hate this man with the passion of a thousand burning suns. I hate him so much. However, their interactions taught me a whole lot about how kind and compassionate Ian really is—and how naïve. Of course, he would believe that Kash loved him. The man was buying him all sorts of expensive gifts, and that’s what we see on all the commercials and in so many movies, isn’t it? Grand gestures of affection through expensive gifts. Poor as they were, Ian still scraped together the money to buy him baseball tickets and CDs, convinced as he was that that was all part of what you did in a relationship. That desire to do things like a “normal” married couple in s11? Yeah, that starts here. Ian has always been a planner, and he’s always bought into certain stereotypes. We can see that here. What we can also see is Ian’s compassionate, kind, loving soul. He cares so deeply for other people, even ones that he doesn’t know very well, especially if they are living in circumstances that mean something to him. (For example, the mentally ill woman they tried to help at work and the shelter kids whose situations were so similar to Mickey’s.) Kash being a closeted gay man living in misery with a wife he didn’t love and two children he never meant to have clearly tugged at Ian’s heartstrings. Even after everything that happens, even though Ian behaves as though they’re awkward exes who just happen to work together, he still covers for Kash. He gives him that head start and takes it upon himself to break the news to Linda that he’s gone. He defends Kash to Lip when the latter finally says exactly what we all know: he was a pedophile who deserved to rot in prison for what he did. As with Fiona’s trust, Ian’s loving soul, compassionate heart, and desire for love outside his siblings are virtues that have done him harm in the past. This is one such instance.

2.      Ned: The second of Ian’s perceived romantic pursuits that really wasn’t. To be honest, I don’t believe that Ian would even characterize it that way. He seemed very aware that Ned was a distraction from his problems—from Mickey being in juvie, Monica falling into a depressive episode, the money in the squirrel fund being gone, Lip moving out, losing his shot at West Point, and getting denied for service due to his age. Again, though, Ian has always wanted to feel valued, and this rich dude was letting him stay in a fancy hotel room with anything he wanted readily available. This (disgusting predator) guy was giving him attention and a distraction with no strings attached. Then the complications roll in, and he’s once again faced with being the mistress to a closeted, married man. The difference here is that he’s not comfortable with it. He tries to tell Fiona twice, which is enormous for Ian when he has never been very good at communicating if it means burdening others with or even merely facing his own problems. But he tries to tell her. He rejects the GPS unit and tells Ned that he has a boyfriend, boxing him into a strictly sexual arrangement. (This, unfortunately, makes sense. It aligns with how Fiona viewed things: where Jimmy was concerned about it, she told him that it was “just sex.”) He is also visibly embarrassed to admit to Lip and Fiona what has been going on with Ned. By that point, Ian is a year and a half older and, while still scarred and warped in his views because of Kash, perhaps a bit wiser. Emotionally, he kept Ned at arm’s length most of the time. He used Ned not just as a distraction, but as a way to galvanize Mickey into taking their relationship a step forward. But Ian is still Ian, and Ian is compassionate to a fault. Ned played that card by asking if he could have a little understanding for a man whose life was falling apart. Sure, he can. He’s Ian, the Gallagher too empathetic for his own good at times. We know how that spirals out of control. It just goes to show that even when Ian was trying to maintain some emotional distance, his heart is simply too big and his perceptions too heavily impacted by the grooming he’d experienced with two different people by then, and so he [SPOILER ALERT] still feels enough of a connection to Ned after all these years to be mildly bothered that he passed away.

3.      Caleb: The third of Ian’s perceived romantic pursuits that really wasn’t. Ian’s relationship with Caleb strikes me as being similar to what he had with Ned. While more age-appropriate, Ian was very much using Caleb, just as Caleb was using him. That’s why it was so easy for both of them to walk away. Ian was in a difficult spot when they met. He was grateful to the firefighters who saved his life, but he had also just saved someone else at a moment when he was perhaps at his absolute lowest. That’s what he’s always wanted, isn’t it—to be a bit of a hero and help people? So, he’s understandably drawn there, first out of gratitude and then to be surrounded by very attractive gay firemen who helped people, saved his life, and invited him to be part of a function they were holding. But he made himself pretty clear from the start: he was interested in sex with Caleb. That was the draw. He still hasn’t come to terms with being bipolar and losing Mickey, but Ian has never not been with anyone for any extended length of time. That’s just who he is: he’s always sought some level of outward validation—from the army, Kash, Monica, Mickey, and so many others. We’re seeing him struggle with that now as he deals with the opportunities available to him as a mentally ill ex-con felon. So, he pursues Caleb as a distraction just like he did with Ned, only Caleb is a predator in his own right and can smell that his interest is coming from a place of weakness. He immediately (and initially unintentionally) preys on Ian’s desperate need for structure and order by insisting on a traditional date where Ian is very much out of his element and even goes so far as to instruct Ian on how to be intimate. It’s no wonder he mentions Mickey in these moments, as Mickey never wanted him to change, and Ian leans heavily (even slightly hyperbolically) into the fact that Mickey wasn’t a paragon of order and stability like Caleb outwardly appears. 

And I think why Ian puts up with it so long—being taught like a child, being used to upset Caleb’s parents, being paraded in front of his friends to make them jealous—is because he was getting something out of it too, just like with Ned. A stable place to live when their home ownership was in flux, a place away from his family when they weren’t providing the support he needed as he adjusted to his disorder, someone who validated his desires to help people regardless of their ulterior motives, and a physical distraction from his own problems. All of these parallel his relationship with Ned very closely. It was never going to last, of course. Ian is a strong person who temporarily forgot how strong he was because he forgot who he was, and Caleb didn’t want to be cared for—he wanted a project, like all of his sculptures. Being a project, being something that others see as needing to be fixed? That’s a hard no for Ian. It always has been. There’s a moment I love later in their relationship where Caleb tells him to turn off the lights when he goes out and lightly reprimands him for leaving one on the day prior. Ian is in a better place at that point, having regained a lot of his sense of self, and stares after him with indignation at being treated like a kid. He’s then lied to and cheated on, but I think that to mention those things to Caleb when they break up is to admit weakness on his own part—that he stuck with Caleb knowing that he was being mistreated, and Ian is not one to be called a victim. So, while we know from his discussions with Lip and Sue that the cheating and distrust bothered him most, he merely focused on Caleb lying about his sexuality, which removed a lot of the emotion from the situation—just like he did with Ned. It ultimately turned out to be a bad move since Caleb, being a skilled predator, made him question even his own sexuality in return, but we’re starting to see that Ian isn’t here to be someone’s toy anymore. Not an older, married man like Ned, but definitely not anyone his age either. I’m glad this pseudo-relationship happened because it showed Ian how strong he really was and that he could be in control of his own life. Sure, it destabilized him a little in the aftermath, but he worked through it. He leaned on his family, specifically Lip, who has always been his rock without the blurred lines that Fiona represented between sister/mother-figure/caretaker. Caleb is a garbage person, but Ian was the one who pulled the treasure from the trash, not him.

4.      Trevor: The fourth of Ian’s perceived romantic pursuits that really wasn’t. Trevor is perhaps the first relationship where we don’t see Ian dive in. Whether that’s because of his confusion over Trevor’s gender identity or the fact that he was really beginning to fully mature as an adult by that point (ostensibly finishing his education, getting a career, being fully self-sufficient, etc.), he tried to take his time and not jump right in. They hung out, talked around the neighborhood, and yes, engaged in some casual intimacy at the club. Again, Ian might not be in a full relationship, but he’s never without someone for long. At that point in the series, all he was missing was a relationship when it comes to traditional, “normal” goals for people to have. But Trevor posed a situation he’s never been in before since, while gay himself, Ian has never been very interested in activism or engaging in the LGBT community. It’s just not in his culture or environment, so to be faced with someone he’s interested in that challenges a lot of his views of gender and sexuality is something he takes his time with. Unfortunately, Trevor is younger than him and not quite as mature, not quite as experienced. He tells Ian he has plenty of friends and doesn’t need another, which is an ultimatum that has never really sat very well with me personally because I’m generally of the mind that if a person needs time and you really care for them, you’ll let them have that time. I’m not unsympathetic to Trevor: he’s been burned before and has his own trauma stemming from responses to his identity, so it makes complete sense for him not to be patient in this regard. He shouldn’t have to be—but then, Ian shouldn’t have to rush into anything he’s not 100% certain he wants either. That’s exactly what he does, though, because Ian does for others without thinking of the implications for himself a lot of the time. They make great friends, but they don’t make great partners. Trevor treats Ian similarly to Caleb in that he’s a bit of a project. Trevor educates him on the LGBT community and incorporates him into his ventures for the shelter without ever really showing much interest in Ian’s life or family, which suits Ian just fine because for as interested as he is in helping with the shelter and as attracted to Trevor as he is, he seems to know they’re not compatible. Ian, who has been having sex since he was far too young, takes a step back from it when they run into compatibility issues. (And pushes back on the pressure to bottom with some of his own—neither of them were in the right on that.) He doesn’t ask much about Trevor’s family or try to be part of his personal life. They sort of embody the “friends with benefits” stereotype: they hang out, they have sex, and that’s really all there is to their relationship. 

The reason Ian doubles down on trying to make it work isn’t because there was a future for them before Mickey broke out. It’s because he thinks he’s lost Mickey forever, he knows he’s lost Monica forever, and he’s not going to get the support he needs from his family when they couldn’t stand Monica and Fiona told him what he already knew to be true, namely that Mickey being an escaped convict would destroy everything Ian worked so hard for if he got involved. So, he does what Ian does. He needs that distraction—he needs to run from these strong emotions he can’t process, so he bottles them up and unfairly hopes that Trevor will provide some of that comfort after cheating on him with Mickey. (Had Mickey been released, I think they would have broken up. Instead, that was the first match Ian lit, but certainly not the last.) Now, the thing is, Trevor said at the start that he didn’t want to be Ian’s friend. He’s also younger and less mature in a relationship, which means he threw the concept of love out there prematurely, just like Ian thought what he had with Kash was love. The death throes of their relationship were a back and forth where Ian was spiraling and seeking comfort, and Trevor was providing some while keeping their relationship pretty amorphous. (Were they exes? Were they friends? Were they people who shared interests and danced around each other? Were they going to get back together? They never officially broke up—it fizzled and resurged, then fizzled for good.) Ultimately, whatever it was that they had couldn’t survive Mickey, Monica, or Gay Jesus. Trevor wasn’t prepared to deal with a full-blown manic episode, and based on his hands-off approach with involving himself in Ian’s life even before the Mickey-shaped bomb got dropped on them, it doesn’t seem like he really wanted to anyway. He did what he’s always done: prioritized his shelter, which I’m not deriding in the slightest. By that point, Ian was too far gone to care that he disappeared anyway. Had the situation been different and he was getting the support from his family that he needed, it doesn’t seem like he would have cared much there either.

5.      Mickey: Finally. Only took over five thousand words to get here. I’ll preface this with something that anyone who knows me from other fandoms is already well aware of, namely that I don’t do romance. Ever. Never been interested. The relationships I’ve always been most passionately interested in are platonic ones, especially “found families” and siblings, which is probably obvious from the other five thousand words here. Ian and Mickey are the first relationship I’ve actively shipped or written for in a fandom. They’re the first I’ve been invested in to this extent. As such, one of the biggest pet peeves I had when I first joined this fandom was the saying, “Ian fell first, Mickey fell harder.” These two wonderful dumbasses face planted on the concrete in front of the Kash and Grab in s1 and never recovered. I could go on forever about these two, but that particular wall of text would probably be too daunting for even the most avid Gallavich stan to traverse, so I’ll keep it fairly brief. As we can see above, Ian has a very strict sense of what he “should” want in a partner. Someone who is moderately successful in their chosen field, makes enough money to at least live comfortably, and typically does something that helps other people (a doctor, a fireman, a youth counselor). These aren’t passionate people. They’re not men who operate on instinct the way most of the people in his life have always had to by virtue of their social standing. They have life goals and opportunities that he envies, and Ian has a great deal of compassion for them when they hit a roadblock or things don’t work out. The amazing dichotomy of Ian Gallagher is that he straddles a line most people can’t between the rough neighborhood that has instilled in him all of his values/behaviors and the middle-class mentality of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps and aspiring to more. Ian has always aimed for what Lip said wasn’t possible for poor people: being successful without having to scam or steal. But as I said way back at the beginning of this manifesto, the South Side is his home. His family is his family. And none of the people he’s been with personify the South Side quite like Mickey—they don’t personify home like Mickey. 

And I think that’s where the initial draw for Ian is. (I’m going to focus on Ian’s side since he’s who your question focused on.) The other guys look great on paper, and Ian’s brain says that that’s what he should aim for. We know better, though. We know that Ian has an enormous heart that belongs first and foremost to his family and their home. His heart says that this person—this dirty, rude, mean, violent person—is home. His heart says this person is everything about himself that he denies having, just like Ian was everything about Mickey that the latter declined to openly acknowledge for so long. I don’t like relationships built on “making each other better.” I really don’t. The wonderful thing about this is that it’s never been that way. Ian didn’t change Mickey. He’s exactly who he’s always been, but he’s grown past the fear of his own emotions and Terry’s response to them. He’s still a thief, a con artist, violent, and rude. Mickey didn’t change Ian either. He’s still rigidly conforming to certain stereotypes of what he thinks he should want, seeking structure (to his own detriment at times), and not a great communicator. The point for them is that they complement each other, not that they make the other a better person—not even that they bring something out of each other that wasn’t already there. That’s what Ian’s other relationships did. They made him shave off his edges so that he could fit a square peg into a round hole, and that’s not happiness. It’s simply what he thought he was supposed to do—what “normal” people did. 

With Mickey, he doesn’t have to worry so much about what is normal or acceptable. He doesn’t have to worry about whether or not his life is objectively “on track,” not until fairly recently. Mickey is the only person he’s ever been with who has accepted him for who he is, faults and strengths alike, without the underlying insinuation that he should be aiming for something else or pretending to be whatever the other person needs him to be in order to care for them. Kash needed an escape—Ian provided it. Ned needed a very specific brand of toy—Ian played that role. Caleb needed a project to feel fulfilled—Ian went along with it for a bit. Trevor needed someone who accepted him as he was but did things his way—Ian did that. To care for Mickey has only ever meant being himself because all Mickey ever really needed was him. Mickey didn’t need an escape from his home—his relationship with his family is more complicated than that. Mickey didn’t need to be saved from his upbringing—it’s what made him the person Ian fell in love with and who he is happy to be. Mickey didn’t need someone to change who he is on a fundamental level because unless it is going to get him into trouble and separate them, Ian never wanted him to. (Even then, it’s about what he does, not who he is.) And yes, I’m sure that there’s a level of excitement that Ian finds exhilarating where Mickey is concerned, but I tend to believe it goes a lot deeper than that. What he finds exciting about Mickey is what Mickey embodies about the South Side—about home. About his own upbringing, but also Ian’s. About Frank and Monica, his siblings, school, work, ROTC—existing and surviving in an environment where it’s not guaranteed that you’ll have money to keep the heat on this winter or feed your family. They spent the early seasons living in a constant state of fight or flight. They couldn’t afford not to. And there’s excitement in that. Look at how many people say that the first seasons are their favorite! There hasn’t been a huge shift in the quality or direction of the writing, just the trajectory of the characters. They’ve gotten older, and their problems have been different. It’s not about survival so much of the time anymore, but those are the storylines that excite us. For Ian, that exhilaration in the constant battle of survival in their neighborhood is sewn into the fiber of his being just like it is Mickey’s. He saw his home in Mickey before they truly fell in love, and when that followed, Mickey became home.

In Conclusion

Ian has spent his entire life looking for the “right” path only to realize that it was laid before him: his family, his small circle of friends, and Mickey. I love that that is coming full circle this season, where [SPOILER ALERT] marriage has almost made him regress a bit to that place where there must be a right way of doing things going forward, and slowly but surely, we’re seeing him loosen up.

Good morning. It’s Ian Gallagher loving hours.

[salandition]

10 and 126 with Raihan please 💖

A/N: i love writing these because I’ll look at the prompt list and then my eyes will bug out when I see what y’all chose. It’s very fun. ESPECIALLY for this one- my eyes got all big and I went “YEHHH” out loud. So that’s great lmao 

Prompt(s):  “I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.”/ "I think about you all the time, it’s freaking annoying."

---

You’ve known the Dragon-Type Gym Leader, Raihan, for a long time. He’s got quite a few different names, actually, which was pretty interesting. The Tamer of Dragons, The Dragon Lord (that one always made you snort), or even The Great Raihan. In a way, he kind of fits those names, but you just like to stick to ‘Raihan’, ‘Rai’, or ‘Daddy Long Legs’. 

He hates it when you call him that last one, so you make sure to use it often. 

You can easily call Raihan one of your best friends. Though time has a history of bad effects on some relationships, you don’t think that’s the case for you and Raihan; the more time you spent together, the more your friendship solidified and became reliable and comfortable. You didn’t ever get bored or tired of Raihan, and despite your first initial anxieties that he’d get that way towards you, he didn’t. So the two of you are best friends, though and through. 

And that’s exactly where your problem lies. 

Raihan is your best friend, so- you can say confidently that you know him pretty well. And you know that Raihan isn’t the most enthusiastic about relationships- deeper, romantic ones. He likes to indulge himself every so often, but whenever you talked about crushes or something like that with each other, he always seemed distant and reluctant about entering a serious relationship with another person. The only reason this created a sense of unease in your stomach is because- well- lately… You’ve found yourself liking him a bit more than you used to. 

You’re not sure when it happened. You just realized one day that maybe you stare at him for just a bit too long, maybe you’re just a bit too excited whenever the two of you are able to hang out, maybe you stay up with him a little too late on the phone when he calls. 

Realizing that perhaps you have a crush on Raihan- it created a fit of anxiety within you. Because falling in love with someone you’re so close with- when did that really ever turn out well? Sometimes it worked, if you were lucky, but you don’t really think the word ‘lucky’ describes you very well. And then there’s the fact that you’re keenly aware that Raihan is definitely not interested in you like that. 

Even if he was, you know he doesn’t like deep relationships- and you’re not sure how comfortable you are with being a fling or thrusted into a ‘benefits’ type situation. 

So, once you realize your feelings, you do your best to squash them before they have the opportunity to get even worse. You drill the fact that Raihan doesn’t like you and you can’t like Raihan deep into your skull; you remind yourself over and over that you aren’t in love with him and you’re just friends. 

And that’s fine. You’re happy to be his friend. That will always be the truth, regardless of the little hiccups along the way. 

Usually, though, hiccups don’t last this long, and they don’t hurt this badly. That’s something you’ve come to realize as time has passed. 

Because, hiccups- they’re temporary things. Unexpected bumps in your throat- and sure, sometimes they can hurt and leave a funky ache in your chest- but hiccups are supposed to go away after a quick glass of water or something like that. 

And this particular hiccup isn’t going away. So it’s probably time to stop calling it that. 

You’re not sure what to call it. Torture? That’s a bit too brutal. What about ‘agonizing, lovely, awful torture’? Still a bit dramatic. 

It’s a problem is what it is. You know what? It’s almost like a virus, actually. Because it started out as just a tiny problem- a little crush, and then it slowly spread throughout your body and created lots of other problems in it’s wake. Problems that are getting worse as time goes on. 

Things like how your body will tingle and ache when Raihan hugs you, how your face will burn when he compliments and teases you, how you don’t even know how to look at him correctly anymore without giving away that you’re slowly falling in love with him. Which wasn’t supposed to happen in the first place. You weren’t supposed to fall in love with The Great Raihan, The Tamer of Dragons, The Dragon Lord. 

You were supposed to just be friends. So what happened to that? 

---

You know Raihan is starting to suspect something is wrong with you. He has a way of accidentally clueing people in that he’s thinking about something or that he’s curious. It’s the little way he lifts his left eyebrow, his lip quirking up with it, and his head will tilt just a tiny bit. It’s a subtle tell. 

You kind of hate that you’ve stared at him long enough that you can recognize such meager things. But it helps you, regardless, because it lets you know when you’re being a bit too obvious and you should leave before he starts to ask you questions. 

Except you can’t really leave without giving him more questions right now; because you’re hanging out at his house, planning to spend the night as you drink together and watch movies, and if you left now, that wouldn’t be any good. He’d certainly grill you about it tomorrow, and you’re not sure if you’d be able to come up with a good enough lie as to why you ditched him. 

“So,” you clear your throat, trying to look away from his gaze on you as you lean on his kitchen counter, beer bottle in hand as it leaks wet condensation on your hand. “Tell me more about your challengers this year. Anyone catch your eye?” 

Raihan hums, lifting his own bottle to his lips and you definitely don’t watch as his throat moves when he takes a drink. “No one in particular yet,” He tells you. “I did hear one of the challengers really gave Melony a run for her money, though, which is pretty interesting. She’s a tough lady- I look forward to seeing who can battle so well against Ice Types, considering they’re one of my team’s weaknesses and all that.” 

You nod along as he speaks, and you try not to look bothered when he crosses the counter and leans on it, same as you- right in front of you, actually. Which would only make sense, considering you’re talking to each other- you want to look directly at the person you’re speaking to. But does he have to lean in so close? 

“That’s a good point,” you take another drink to distract yourself from his piercing eyes. Maybe it’s not really a good idea to drink with him in the first place, considering he already makes your stomach do pathetic flustered flips, but it’d be odd if you rejected it now. “Besides the frivolous chit-chat, as much as I love talking about your work- I want to see the movie you picked out.” 

“Of course,” Raihan grins, leaning off the counter and leading you into his living room. Not like you need to be led, considering you’re more than familiar with the layout of his apartment. “So, I know you hate horror,”

“Raihan,” you groan before he can even finish, and he laughs as he shows you the case of the movie.

“Okay, but we have to! It’s a classic, and it’s not that bad. It’s old, so the effects look shotty to begin with. You’ll be fine,” he assures you, but you doubt he’s being honest. He’s lied to you before to get you to watch horror films with him. You purse your lips, crossing your arms together, still holding your drink between your fingers at the rim. 

“You just want to see me scared.”

Raihan turns from you, putting the disk in the player, and you huff. “Maybe,” he singsongs, “you can cuddle into me and hide if it’s too much, don’t worry!” 

You fall against his couch and roll your eyes, trying not to let him see you blush as you lean against your hand. “In your dreams, long-legs.” 

“I like that better,” Raihan hums and sits next to you, said legs already taking up a lot of space as he crosses them. 

“Ah, sorry. Daddy long legs.” 

“I guess I deserve it if I’m making you watch this,” he huffs, and you smile. 

“Exactly.”

The movie starts, the two of you quieting your banter as the intro scene plays. But you’ve always been chatty during films, especially when it’s horror- talking helps ease your nerves as you groan loudly at the screen, and Raihan absolutely thrives off some of the comments you make, so it’s a good time overall. He also makes some jokes and crude comparisons to the things on screen that makes you laugh, so that’s nice, too. 

Despite your nerves and your growing affections for the man sitting beside you, you try to remember these moments. He’s your friend- your best friend. Even if he doesn’t love you like that…

You sneak a look at him during a particularly slow moment in the movie. His eyes are focused on the screen, face lit up blue from the screen, and he laughs at one of the jokes that’s made in the script. You quickly chuckle, turning away from him so he doesn’t catch on that you weren’t paying attention- and your stomach does that funky flip again. 

Even if he doesn’t love you like that, at least he loves you at all. You should be grateful for that. For what you have. 

Before you even realize it, the movie is over, which is surprising. Usually you can’t wait for the ending, but you were zoning out in your thoughts so much that you didn’t even realize the credits were rolling until Raihan leaned forward, grabbing the remote and turning the TV off. It’s significantly darker in the living room without the light of the television, but you can still make out those blue eyes when he looks your way. 

“So,” he relaxes back on the couch, one of his hands grabbing at his knee and the other rests in his lap. “You’ve been weird.” 

You snort. “If you wanted to get my guard down for a talk about feelings, you should have chosen a better movie.” 

“Would it have mattered?” He raises an eyebrow. “You hardly even reacted to most of it.” 

You suppose you can’t argue with that. 

Raihan shrugs, sighing a bit through his nose as he turns his head away from you. For that, you’re glad, because he just looks too intense when he looks you in the eye. “Figured I’d give you an opportunity, since you’re not bringing it up yourself. Don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.” 

You frown. You’re still holding your beer bottle, now empty, and you place it on the floor before you lift your feet up on the couch and criss cross. “It’s not a very big deal, Rai,” you tell him softly. “Honest.” 

“Doesn’t matter if it’s a big deal,” Raihan looks back at you, “we’re mates, right? Doesn’t have to be a big deal for you to tell me.” 

There’s little room to argue with that. He’s right, and you know that, but this is different. Your shoulders drop as you purse your lips. “I don’t want to bother you with this,” you say, and Raihan just laughs through his nose. 

“You once called me in the middle of the night because you felt something weird on your bum and you acted like it was the end of the world because you had bum-cancer.” 

Without even thinking, you grab a pillow on the couch and you hurl it at him full strength. “That was a valid concern! And I told you that you’re not allowed to bring it up ever again!” 

Raihan barks out a laugh, giggling like a child as he grabs the pillow you threw at him and he tosses it back. You smack it on the floor, making him laugh harder. 

“My point is, we’ve been close, yeah?” He says once the giggles finally end, and he smiles at you so genuinely that you have to look away. He notices. “That’s it. You keep doing that. Why?” 

“Doing what?” Acting dumb. Grade A plan, sure to work. 

Though you can’t see it, you can hear how he rolls his eyes based on his tone. “You keep acting distant. Looking away from me like I’ll jump you or something.” 

That’s funny. You actually want him to jump you, but, you know. In the cute, kissy way. 

Why’d you think that? Shut up. You shake your head, as if that will shake away the thoughts as well. “It’s not that,” you tell him. There’s a dread building up in your chest once you do- because you know where this conversation is going. 

Raihan is nice and respectful of your boundaries, and he’d never make you tell him something you’re not comfortable sharing. The issue is that he’s too nice, and it makes you want to tell him that much more. Because he deserves to know, right? 

There’s really only a few ways that this conversation would go. You know- you know that the next thing he’ll say is going to be something like ‘then what is it?’ 

“Then what is it?” He asks, and you curse yourself. You knew it would be a bad idea to hang out. 

You finally look at him again, biting your cheek as your eyebrows furrow. “Raihan,” you shake your head again. “I can’t.” Your voice is soft- a whisper, at best. 

Truthfully, you didn’t notice how your hands began to tremble in your lap- but Raihan did. His lips tug into a frown. 

“Why?” 

You huff, and he shrugs. 

Maybe you should rip off the bandaid and get it over with. If Raihan has figured out that something’s been bothering you, and if you leave the conversation tonight without telling him what it is, you know he’s going to pry it out of you eventually. It’s only a matter of time, now. 

“You really wanna know, Raihan?” You hold your hands in your lap, trying to get them to stop shaking, and Raihan nods. All right, you think with a deep breath, this is it. Time to tell him and have the awkwardest rejection of your life.

You don’t have the guts to look at him, so you look up at the dark ceiling, and honestly, your eyes are already burning. And you’re definitely not going to cry. Despite that, you sniff, and your voice leaves you shakily, “I think I’m in love with you, and that terrifies me.” 

It’s quiet, and a rush of anxiety courses through you again. You stutter and stumble as you try to explain yourself. “I- We’ve been friends for so long. And- and I’m not- not interested in ruining that. I don’t want to ruin our relationship. Because- well, because I love you,” you laugh, “and I- I don’t want to ruin it by getting all weird and reading into things. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, either.”

Finally, you lower your head and let it hang as you sniff again and lift a hand to run through your hair, ruffling through it harshly. Come on, you think, get it together. 

It takes a lot of courage to look at him- and you honestly don’t have the courage, so you basically just turn your face his way and then stare at the couch cushions instead. “...Sorry,” you apologize weakly, though you’re not sure why. 

From your peripherals, you see him uncross his legs, his body leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. He sighs, which doesn’t really make you feel good as you quickly look to the floor instead, even further away from his eyes. “You don’t need to be sorry about that. Not like you can control your feelings,” Raihan finally speaks. “That would just be silly.” 

You shrug. 

“I guess I can understand why you didn’t want to tell me,” He continues, his hands coming together and rubbing before he entwines his fingers, cracking his knuckles with a swift movement. “Would you like to hear something funny?” 

Your eyebrows furrow, suspicious. “...Sure.” 

“Well, it’s funny for you, maybe, but it’s been annoying for me,” Raihan chuckles. “It really is. Cause the thing is, I think about you all the time. So much that it bugs me. It’s distracting, too, cause you really shouldn’t be popping up in my thoughts the way you do when I’m trying to ride on Flygon. That’s just dangerous.” You finally lift your eyes to meet his, and he shrugs with a smile when you do, his pointy tooth looking odd when his face is so soft and bashful. “You do anyways.” 

You squint. 

Raihan rests his face in his palm, laughing gently under his breath. You’re both in a weird staring contest, as if it’s a test of wits. He reaches forward as you stare, and before you realize what he’s doing, he flicks your nose. 

You jolt back in shock. “Hey!” 

Raihan just laughs, his nose scrunching up and his eyes squinting as he chuckles. “What I’m saying is, I think you’re not alone with your feelings. Either I’m a creeper for thinking of you so often, or I love you, too.” He raises his brow. “You pick which one sounds more appealing to you.” 

“Don’t joke around, Raihan,” you can’t help but sigh as you rub your nose. 

“Sorry,” surprisingly, he apologizes. Which is odd, catching you off guard as he finally looks away from you. “I’m not real good at this, either.” 

“Raihan...” You softly call his name, and he purses his lips. There’s no other way to describe his demeanor other than ‘shy’, which is never a word you’d think you would use to describe him. 

“The feeling is mutual, is what I’m saying.” 

You almost want to laugh. “What happened to not liking serious relationships? Would- do you still feel that way?” You can’t help but ask him. Just because- wow- maybe he loves you, doesn’t mean that’s changed. 

“Well, I’ve never loved anybody before.” Raihan lifts a hand, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck as he finally stops slouching over his knees and straightens his posture. “But if you’d be into it...” He trails off. 

...Hm. Slowly, your hand reaches forward, and you grab Raihan’s as gently as you can. It makes your heart speed up a bit, and Raihan’s eyes snap toward you when you do- but you smile. “We can go slow. See what happens. If it doesn’t work for you- I’m still going to love you.” You tell him, honesty in your tone. “I can’t expect you to be the world’s best boyfriend if you’ve never even thought about being one before.” 

“I’ve thought about it sometimes,” he mumbles, and his hand is absurdly long in yours- you notice it even more when he fumbles with how small you are before squeezing your palm. “Are you sure you’re okay with that?” 

“Yeah,” you nod at him. Surprisingly, you’re honest- you feel sure of yourself. “You’re my best friend, Raihan. You’ll always be my best friend, no matter what happens.” 

Slowly, he smiles back, and it’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever seen. In the back of your mind, you realize that Raihan is actually a sweetheart, and you wonder how he’d react if you added that to his long list of nicknames. 

Perhaps you’ll try it out. 

[johannstutt413]

(requested by stephenvares; continuing from this)

Less than a month after returning from their honeymoon, Anya noticed something amiss; the next day, a trip to her primary physician told her what she’d already expected: she was pregnant. This was going to be a massive issue back home, no doubt about it...but honestly? She couldn’t care less - she had the Doctor, and it’s not like the Goddess herself minded. Hell, the Goddess was the first person she told, and She’d seemed pretty happy about it. (That was a fun conversation to tell the Doctor about that night, once he’d calmed down enough to do so.) Time passed, Pyara was born, and life was...life was…

Life was exhausting, for both the Doctor and his beloved bride, for the next few months. Paternity leave saved him from his duties with HR, Personnel, and Tactical Deployment (taken up by at least seven Operators to fill the gap), but not from helping Pramanix sort out the complicated situation back home while she took care of their daughter. Sleepless night after sleepless night, week after week. Anya was crankier than ever, and even the Doctor could feel his nerves fraying.

And then, one day, there was peace.

“...Hey, Anya?” The Doctor scritched behind her ear, trying to wake her up. “Aaaaanya.”

The priestess’s eyes popped open mid-snore. “Hrrrrgh. What?”

“Pyara’s not crying right now.”

“She’s not...She’s not? She’s not?!” She rolled out of bed - quite literally, landing face-first as usual - and flailed onto her feet and towards her child’s crib. “She’s...she’s asleep? But normally she’d be awake right now, right?”

He nodded. “Yeah, that’s why I’m confused. Did something happen?”

“I don’t- oh, my Goddess.” It wasn’t an exclamation as much as an acknowledgment; like picking up a phone receiver, Pramanix began to commune with the Goddess on the spot.

“Well, that would explain the miracle.” The Doctor chuckled to himself as he made his way to the kitchen. As good of terms as he was on with the priestess, interrupting her prayer-time wouldn’t end well for him, no matter how much he wanted his morning kiss. “I’ll make some coffee.”

 A few minutes later, with a pot half-brewed, Anya emerged from their bedroom with Pyara nestled against her. “Little Pi here is old enough to hear the Goddess; She calmed her down for us.”

“Oh, thank the Goddess - literally,” he declared, looking pointedly at his wife’s bell when he said it.

“You know, She doesn’t do favors like this often,” the priestess noted with a smile. “You should do something nice for Her.”

Well, he knew exactly what that really meant, but hell, he could afford to spoil his wife more than a little. “And what would She like me to do for Her this morning?”

“She told me we should have chicken pot pie for dinner tonight.”

“...That’s it?” The Doctor shrugged. “Cool, that was my plan for tonight anyway. We have an anniversary to celebrate, after all.”

Pramanix blinked. “Anniversary? Don’t we still have a couple months for that?”

“For our paperwork and such, yeah. Not for our first date, though.” He winked at her before starting to pour two cups of coffee.

“Oh. I guess it has been a year, huh?” She sighed, landing in a chair at the dining room table for the little one’s breakfast. “Between that and this one, I feel old now...”

A sentiment the Doctor could relate to, honestly. “Time flies when you’re having fun, and I’ve certainly had fun with you~”

“You just wait your turn, mister.” Anya would have swatted him, but he was safely out of range until he brought their coffees to the table.

“I am, I am.” He managed to steal a kiss anyway, thanks to the mugs in his hands. “Your coffee and sugar.”

The priestess wavered between a giggle and a sigh and ended up just giving him a look. “You are so lucky I’m lucky to be here with you.”

“Luck had nothing to do with it - it was all your hard work that got us here.”

“Mmhmm.” She clicked her tongue while shaking her head. “Lying to the clergy.”

The Doctor chuckled. “Did you forget? If you hadn’t worked yourself to exhaustion during those first few months, I never would’ve had a chance to let you sleep on the office couch.”

“Oh, I didn’t forget that. For the first couple of days I was here, I was sleeping in the closet they gave me for an office; I only stopped because Steward came to offer a prayer and found me drooling on my desk.” Not her proudest moment, for sure.

“You’re kidding,” he replied in genuine disbelief. “And I was your first choice after that?”

Anya blushed. “Your office was neutral territory, and...and I already had a crush on you.”

“Really? We didn’t talk much until you started crashing in my office.” Then again, it’d taken him about five minutes to fall in love with her, so-

“It started when you held the door open for me my first day here.” She rushed through the end of the sentence because a certain small creature needed to switch sides.

He took a moment to see if he could remember doing that...nope. “So love at first sight?”

“Basically,” Pramanix admitted. “I saw your face underneath your hood, and that was that.”

“Huh. Maybe that’s why Kal’tsit told me to wear it...”

The Feline giggled. “Because you of all people need a limiter like that...Actually, she’s right. Someone else might’ve gotten to you first if it weren’t for that, after all. I’d thank her, but I think she’s still mad about the night I spilled wine on her.”

“I think she was more mad at Encio than anything that night,” the Doctor replied, vividly remembering that experience. “It’s always the little things, huh?”

“Always the little things.” As Anya said that, Pyara burped.

Her father smirked. “Speaking of. Is she almost done?”

“I think so.” The priestess held her out to him. “Can you take her while I clean up?”

“Absolutely. How’s daddy’s little angel, hmm?” As he took her, the infant began to purr, and the Doctor dashed into the kitchen for the paper towels he’d inevitably need.

Pramanix giggled again. “You’re catching on, huh?”

“One ruined keyboard pad is enough...Hmm. Maybe it was a false alarm.” A few seconds later, and it definitely was not. “Never mind. Do you think our Goddess would mind helping with that, too?”

“One second...Hey, Goddess...Uh-huh...Uh-huh?...Wait, really?...Alright, I’ll tell him. Thanks. She said sure.”

The Doctor’s head poked around from the corner as he continued cleaning up the mess. “I was joking.”

“Ask and you shall receive,” she smiled back. “Speaking of which, put her on her blanket when you’re done.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice. We good, little princess?” The response was a wobbly nod, enough for him to walk her into the living room and set her on a blanket.

Payload delivered; Anya filled the Doctor’s empty arms with a warm smile, draping her tail behind his head. “Now you can carry me~”

“We’ll see about that.” He’d earned the playful slap on his shoulder with that comment, but to her surprise, he picked her up in a bridal carry and sauntered over to the couch, where they could watch their personal miracle work on what it meant to crawl. “So...one year, huh? Any regrets?”

“Regrets? Beyond not waking up to your face in the morning earlier? None I can think of.” Now she was the one purring.

He went for their first proper kiss of the morning - the first of many, especially today. “None for me, either. You are, without a doubt, the best thing to happen to me.”

“The absolute best?” The Feline booped his nose with a finger. “Even when I’m cranky?”

“I love my Anya in every mood she comes in.”

“Even when I scratch and bite your hands?”

“Even then.” The Doctor winked at her. “Maybe even a little more, since you remind me this isn’t a dream.”

Her purring was now audible as well as palpable. “Mmm. Would you mind helping this sleepy kitty wake up a little, darling?”

“Gladly.” And at last, it was ‘his turn.’

[echo-three-one]

A Forgotten Memory

An Alex x OC fic

This is Chapter 6 (is everyone still counting)

Link to the beginning here

Prev (V - Alex)

Next (VII - Alex)

Reviews and comments appreciated as I would like to grow as a writer

Content Warning ⚠️ below chapter title as to avoid spoilers (if anybody cares about being spoiled)

VI - Samantha

CONTENT WARNING : Kidnapping, Mind Control and Being bound and gagged.

Her back leaned against the cold stone wall sending a jolt of shivers across her body. She wriggled around, trying to move but despite not being bound ang gagged, she couldn't talk.

She found herself in an empty room, an interrogation table with a swinging lightbulb at the center ominously matching its swing with the thunping of her heart. No one was pushing it but instead of swinging slowly like it should be, it went faster and faster along with her heart.

She blinked. Maxine sat across the chair behind the interrogation table. Eyes and mouth covered, her expression almost lifeless. She tried to call out her name but no voice came out. She blinked again. Two shady men with heavy thumping boots marched toward her. Their steps matching along with the heartbeat and the swing of the lightbulb.

She closed her eyes permanently praying this will all be over soon. Afraid that when she opened her eyes another set of horrors would appear.

"You're safe here." a faint male voice echoed against the room, lighting up the whole area. She peeked slowly as the room was now well lit, she saw the abductors run away from the light, bringing Maxine with them. She tried to scream out her name one last time but she was slowly being guided by what seemed to be polica authorities back to safety.

"We'll get her back soon. Don't worry." She remembered Alex telling her that before she slept. She couldn't trust a normal person to say that to her so she starts to doubt the credibility of this man.

~

Samantha took a deep breath as she slowly came back to her senses. It smelled quite odd which made her whiff again. It's way too far from Maxine's shampoo or cologne, it almost smelled...

Manly.

That's when she remembered. Her eyes quickly opened to the view of a bare chest followed by a very well carved set of abs and her thighs just below it. Her heart raced once again as she slowly tilted her head up to look at the man whom she was leaning to.

It was Alex. He looked peacefully asleep, his arms bent behind his bed showing off the colored tattoes covering his biceps. A soft snore escapes his mouth as her head starts to feel the rising and falling of his chest.

She can't believe the circumstances she found herself in, shaking her head in disagreement, slowly moving away from him in an attempt to not wake him up. 'Really Samantha. You didn't even let him wear anything?!' she said to herself in shame as she slowly steps out of his apartment. Mentally apologizing for stealing his shirt and sweatpants.

She couldn't handle it anymore. She has to find Maxine. She quietly closed his door and descended to the streets of her city, making her way back to her apartment. Her thoughts were clouded with circumstances surrounding her dream, Maxine, the abductors, the voice that lit the whole room. She convinced herself it wasn't Alex, it could probably be someone else... someone she's been trying to forget but she can't. But then again, those words would fit Alex at all. Maybe because he was beside her whole night. Maybe she heard him from way outside her dream.

Her cheeks suddenly turned red as she once again remembered how she clung on to Alex. If she did that for the whole evening, then she possibly couldn't see him ever again. It was too embarrassing for her to cross paths with him again. She knew full well that what they had going on was not gonna be what she wants to happen. She could feel him having no actual interest in her, he was just being friendly because she believes he's trying to pry information from her. She's convinced that Alex is somehow involved in Maxine's loss.

Shaking her head and clearing her mind from all thoughts regarding that man she won't name anymore, she slowly ascended the wooden steps of her apartment, hoping for Maxine's safety.

She swung the door open, peeking at their room seeing Maxine plopped on the sofa.

"Maxine!" she shrieked in excitement as she grabbed her and hugged her tight.

"Hey Sam, why the tight hug?" She asked, patting her back and escaping from her warm embrace. Tears fell from Samantha's eyes as Maxine pushes her and tried to ask her about her weird behavior.

"What's wrong with you? I just went out last night. Oh and by the way I met a pecuiliar guy at the bar last night. He says he knows you.

Samantha's head pinged and she looked at her with raised eyebrows. Could it be...

"Does he go by Alex? You know, brown hair, blue eyes and a whole lotta tattoos on his arms?" Maxine's eyes widened at the accuracy of Samantha's description.

"So you met? Since when? I was still about to set you up today!" She got up, looking shocked.

"That was last Friday night! You went missing just last night!" Samantha corrected.

"I swear I'm right. That's what my mind could recall." Maxine trailed off to the kitchen as they make breakfast.

Samantha wanted to go back to Alex. She had a feeling he would know what to do. But because of last nights embarrassing act of stupidity, she'd best be letting this mishap slide.

~

Samantha noted that at certain times of day, Maxine would just stare out the window, and everytime she calls her out, Maxine wouldn't respond. As if she couldn't hear her even at close proximity. At this point, she began to extremely worry and texted Alex about her friend's situation not minding meeting him again. She thought that she shouldn't let personal things interfere at this kind of danger.

But she was all too late. She didn't expect that she was dazed for a reason. She wished she never left Alex's apartment. She wished she kept on hugging him for just a little more while.

Her eyes were open but she couldn't see a thing, her mouth was open but she couldn't say a word. She was bound and gagged, but this time it's for real. She didn't show any sign of struggle as the foreign people pushed her, babbling using their language it almost felt they were bickering.

And then she found herself in a laboratory of some sort, wincing as the harsh lamp light flashed across her. An old man donning a lab coat covered the light.

"We finally got you, Samantha Coleman. Smile at the camera so I can send this to your father dearest." The old man spoke, each word irritated her. A tear fell from her eyes as she remembered how her father tried to promise her that his work wouldn't interfere her. She knew it isn't his fault entirely but somehow fate tangled her up to thid point. She isn't gonna survive this.

"I want something that you have. You may not know it, but I know you saw it." He cackled injecting her with some sort of anaesthetic. She knows this because as soon as 30 seconds she already felt sleepy and her mind began to black out.

***

Samantha found herself by the pier, just beside Charlie, her boyfriend's families' yacht. They're out for their annual family summer outing and she can't join as she has to look after her mother who's at the hospital.

"Babe, I'll send you pictures once I get a signal. I promise. I'll also pray for your mom while we're there..." Connor smiled at her, the strong seaside gust blew his collar, as she held her sun hat tight.

"Thanks honey, you take care there, okay?" Samantha's words started to echo in the background as the horizon quickly shifted from day to night.

Maxine sat beside her as uncontrollable tears flowed out of her eyes. It has been a full day since she last heard from Connor and word was his whole family hasn't returned yet.

"Do we need these?" a muffled voice was echoing from the sky. Samantha just sat there, unbothered by the strange noises in the sky, her tears start to fall on her real body.

"It's still a failed project. It's supposed to look for memories but this is the one she's recalling."

"So how do we know if she'll show us her memories of the code?!" a loud slam translated as thunder in her dream.

"I don't know Boss Nero, maybe we could influence her to think of the code."

"Listen, Princess. Think of your childhood memories. Think of what you saw when you accidentally looked on your Daddy's drawer."

Samantha winced as her memory swirled back to her childhood. She heard excited laughter from the sky as she found herself in her room, as a kid. The radio from her dream immediately interrupted her as news flash about a missing yacht, cruise ship and cargo ships that sailed on that fateful day when Connor had his family vacation. Hundreds of people were either dead or missing and the main cause that was officially declared was a storm and big waves. Many speculate about possible pirate invasions but their wreckage wasn't found.

She found herself back at the pier. The sky started yelling curse words angrily toward her. Then another loud sound manifested as thunder.

"Boss Nero, we're being compromised! Multiple armed forces are out for us.

"Gah! Of course they're catching up to us! Quick evacuate and do not engage whenever possible. Let's save our numbers for later."

"What about her?"

"She's still induced. She's just going to be a pain to carry. Leave her be. If they successfully retrieve her they won't be after us." Nero commanded as they left the scene.

Samantha on the other hand, was trapped in her own personal memory realm, flashing about the moments where she felt utter sadness when she found out that her boyfriend was gone forever.

[smolbeandrabbles]

My Last Name - Ralph Anderson x Reader (The Outsider)

@wltz-bby​ @happyskywhale​

GIF CREDIT: X

Author’s Note: I was supposed to get this off the ground before the Holiday period so I could write my winter wedding fic and like... completely forgot about it until it was a little too late.  So while you won’t get the Wedding this year, though I’m not promising inspiration won’t strike late, or... y’know if there’s demand, I thought I would still give you the proposal. Special shout out to a very good friend who keeps giving me SO much Ralph Anderson inspiration. I needed it and didn’t even know. Keep doing what you’re doing!  💕

We stan the pure form of ‘Daddy’ on this blog. 

My Last Name - Dierks Bentley 

Disclaimer: The Outsider (Book/HBO) Nothing to do with me / gif not mine / lyrics not mine / I’ve had this in my head so long and I’m not really sure this is the pay off but... here we are!

Premise: Ralph Anderson has a lot on his mind and that list is only going to get bigger. He’s not one for believing in confluence - it’s up to Yune to remind him sometimes things do just work out...  

Words: 4517

Warnings: ....Insulin warning? For a buncha reasons. I mean I know you guys know what’s coming but reader doesn’t! / Swearing

_____

I learned how to write it When I first started school Some bully didn't like it, He said it didn't sound too cool So I had to hit him And all I said when the blood came It's my last name Daddy always told me far back as I recall Son, you're part of somethin', You represent us all So keep it how you got it, as solid as it came It's my last name Passed down from generations Too far back to trace I can see all my relations When I look into my face May never make it famous But I'll never bring it shame It's my last name So darlin' if you're wonderin' Why I've got you here tonight I want to be your husband, I want you to be my wife I ain't got much to give you But what I've got means everything It's my last name Oh, it's my last name

---

Whenever Ralph used to be woken up in the middle of the night it was usually a call. The kind where he would groan and for all of 10 seconds - whilst glancing bleary-eyed at the clock flashing some ungodly hour of the morning - wish that he wasn’t a man of the law. It still happened occasionally these days, but a little less and less; people seemed more respectful of his situation now and wouldn’t call him unless absolutely necessary. Or unless the scene really needed both of you on it, and right away. Instead Ralph was woken by the tugging of sheets. You were still fast asleep, and he wasn’t surprised; the case you’d been working on meant putting in the late hours. He was at least glad you’d hauled Yune onto it with you, even though as your partner (in every capacity) Ralph felt a little guilty about it. You kept telling him not to be silly, he had bigger things to focus on right now. But he couldn’t help it, and he always thought ‘bigger than this case, though?’ As he sat up to figure out what was going on, Ralph came face to face with your adopted daughter Renée. “Oh, oh, Renée, sweetheart, what’s wrong are you okay? Honey?” Although also half asleep she was currently crying and whimpering and Ralph was immediately alert and concerned, “Oh, honey… honey it’s okay… what happened?” He wound his arms around her and hoisted her up into bed, and she kept crying, burying her face in his soft sleep shirt, “Daddy… don’t let the monsters get me, daddy…” “Shhh… Shhh… It’s okay, sweetheart it was a bad dream… I promise it’s just a dream.” It better have been, because if anything like that shapeshifter ever came for the people he loved again Ralph Anderson would give it more than just hell. But Ralph couldn’t help but be a little flustered. She had never, not in all the time you’d been together, nor in the joint decision for him to move into your house, called him ‘daddy’ before. Not even on accident. ‘Ralphie’ was as close as he got to a cute nickname - although he despised it from anyone that wasn’t her. He couldn’t help but be overcome with joy as he wrapped her in his arms, rubbing her back, nor that it spilled to his heart, now beating faster. Ralph had wanted to hear it from Renée for a long time, he certainly wouldn’t deny that. But he wouldn’t force it out of her until she was ready - he was just a little concerned that it had come to her after bad dreams… Ralph’s eyes flicked to you, luckily still fast asleep, he didn’t want to worry you with this if he didn’t have to. Kissing her forehead gently he was glad to see that she wasn’t crying anymore, but she was still holding him so tight and whimpering every so often. “It’s okay, Renée… they won’t get you I promise. I’m here…” That only caused her to hold him tighter, mumbling into his shirt, “Can I stay with you and mommy?” Ralph chuckled gently, another spike to his heartrate that he knew was ending with a stupid grin, he wiped it off to be appropriately concerned, “Of course you can… C’mere, we’ll protect you…” She snuggled in the sheets between you, and Ralph put his arm around both of you, feeling your body move under his touch and your subconscious hum of content. “Goodnight Renée…” He mumbled, hoping he’d be able to settle back to sleep easily. “Goodnight, Daddy…” She already sounded like she was drifting. Ralph smiled again before kicking himself. Don’t get ahead of yourself… she’ll forget by tomorrow morning...

***

He was standing in the kitchen with his what felt like his fourth cup of coffee when you returned from dropping her at school. “You best be careful with those today… what with your Captain’s interview!” You chided, pouring what was left into a cup of your own, before kissing his cheek. Ralph’s smile came off as more of a grimace, “I’ll need all the help I can get.” You shook your head at him, leaning against the counter, “Come on. Don’t be ridiculous, you’ll ace it.” He shook his head, “No.” You sighed, taking his hand and tugging him to you, forcing his eyes to look at yours, “Ralph Anderson, I’ll tell you good luck if that’s what you really want, but you don’t need it.” He laced his fingers with yours, “It’s only contention, Y/N. It’s not a dead cert.” You raised an eyebrow, kissing his knuckles, “Nope. You’ll get it.” Ralph’s eyes flicked back to the garden and he chewed the inside of his lip frowning, you tried searching his face for any clue as to what was on his mind besides the interview. But this detective had you stumped. “What’s wrong?” “Renée called me daddy last night.” You froze, and not only because that was so out of the blue, you knew what that meant to him. How many times you’d teased him about the moment it would finally happen. Now she’d done it, but it wasn’t the FIRST thing he’d said this morning?! “And you weren’t gonna tell me-!?! Ralph, that’s-! That’s so good!” Ralph squinted at nothing in particular, “Look, she… she was half asleep. I don’t think she’s gonna remember it.” “Does that matter? You do.” You pushed yourself up on your toes to turn his face back to yours and you smiled, “Babe… tell me how you felt. Right now, tell me how you felt.” “Like when you first told me you loved me.” You scoffed, but Ralph continued, “My heart kinda… went on overdrive. I know I was grinning like an idiot. Just… overjoyed. I guess, but Y/N she won-” You pulled him to your lips to stop him from getting negative, “Channel it. That feeling and that positivity. Into your interview.” “Y-Yeah okay.” Ralph sighed, knowing he wouldn’t get away with it, and then couldn’t help but smile, “I’m sorry I didn’t wake you. But it was bad dreams, I didn’t wanna worry you.” “Ah, I did wonder why she woke up in our bed.” You kissed him again, “I gotta go, daddy, but I’ll see you after your interview.” Ralph hesitated in your arms at your repeated phrase; “...I’ll need 20 drinks at this rate.” You laughed, but the fact that he was now blushing didn’t escape your notice, “Me too!” “How’s it all going-?” “Oh no.” You shook your head, “Interview first, case later. I got some more interviewing of my own to do!” You turned to him at the door with a smile, and blew him a kiss, “Later, Mr. Anderson.”  

***  

Flint City PD needed a new Captain. This rumour of retirement had been circulating a while with absolutely no weight to it. But earlier this month the Captain had announced that this time, those rumours were true and he would be retiring in a few months’ time - interviews starting imminently. Ralph hadn’t needed any encouragement to sign up, he knew he was getting to the age where he ought to be thinking of desk work as the main part of his job. Also, how often did the opportunity come up? You’d had one simple chat with him about it, that one where he tried to convince himself of all the reasons why he shouldn’t apply, and you told him to shut up and go for it. So Ralph had, and his interview was today. He knew he wasn’t the only one in the precinct to apply for it, and he knew that there were applications coming in from outside Flint City - heck he’d seen a bunch of ‘em walk in to be interviewed. (Always with you and Yune looking at them and throwing comments around that Ralph thought were supposed to help encourage him, but wasn’t always entirely sure) But from what he’d gathered, most of the FCPD wanted it to be him that got the position. Ralph was - obviously - humbled, but he wasn’t one for counting his chickens.

As his interview approached, he’d broached the conversation more seriously with you. Right now you were his detective partner. There wasn’t a lot of conflict of interest there, because you always worked cases together.   But if he was the Captain, and you were a detective under him, he could see why that would cause an issue. You’d moved to Flint City PD to further your own career, and Ralph didn’t want to put a halt on that just because he was the Captain of the department. And Ralph liked working cases with you - aside from you actually being his girlfriend - so there was that element that might disappear too. And he wasn’t sure he wanted that: “So, if I do get it - theoretically - I’ll have to promote you into a senior role. Otherwise you’re a ‘junior’ detective working cases that someone of my current role should be doing. Or I can just put you in my role… But then, do I pull someone else in? Y/N, I want to partner with you still. Would that be okay?” You raised your eyebrow and played into his ‘theoretical’ world: “You’re the Captain.” “Yeah, but conflict of interest.” You frowned, considering it, “Well, no-one has exactly said anything before now. But I see when you’d be in a position of authority over me why it’d cause trouble.” You shrugged, “See what the general consensus is; at work, with the people of Flint City. The DA’s office.” The legal side was very important. You couldn’t risk cases getting thrown out. “I don’t give a damn if the DA’s office cares-!” With that jokey tone - and the inference of your friendship with Samuels behind it - Ralph leant across and kissed you, “Good idea, Ms. S.S. Andersson.” You smiled, but shook your head at his nickname, he was always after that double-S. “I do have them, occasionally!”  

**  

Ralph knew that he wouldn’t get the peace and quiet he really required to prepare, when he rolled into the parking lot and Yune was standing outside the precinct doors, arms folded. ‘Just perfect.’ He took a deep breath, running his hands through his hair - really Ralph wasn’t sure why he was panicking so much about the interview; he knew enough that was fairly certain. Maybe he wanted it too much… maybe - with the consequences of your relationship - he didn’t want it enough. He chewed on his lip, sitting in silence for a minute. You were likely right about him being a dead cert, but Ralph was not about to bet on it until that paper arrived on his desk officially.

Yune came strolling over the second Ralph opened his car door; “How you feelin’?” “Honestly, pretty terrible. I’ve had more cups of coffee this morning than I can count. I haven’t had a real interview in years. I don’t even know what I’m expecting in there. Usually I’m the one asking questions.” “Well don’t act like a suspect and you’ll be fine!” Yune chuckled, but the quirk of Ralph’s eyebrow told him that wasn’t helpful, so Yune jogged his arm instead as they walked towards the precinct, “Man you got this in the bag!” “Look, can I just have the interview first-? Speaking of, I thought you were helping Y/N today?!” Yune shrugged, “I offered to get everyone coffee.” “So you could stand outside and wait for me?” Ralph pushed open the door, turning to his friend, “A little. But while she’s in there I can talk to you!” Ralph’s smile was a little crooked as he opened your office door, “About what?” Although he knew full well where this conversation was going. “C’mon man! About what!”  Ralph threw his jacket over the back of his chair and booted up his computer. His interview notes were still on top of his desk where he’d left them yesterday; you had little cue cards you’d been asking him questions from and he’d been able to answer with a confident smile on the drive home. Maybe he just had to pretend the Captain was you - Ralph had second thoughts on that helping. “Can I just get through today before you get onto me about any of that.” “Geez, what are you so worried about today for?!” Ralph bit his lips together and again blurted it, “Renée called me daddy last night and I- I just… I dunno what I do with that.” Yune’s eyes immediately widened, “Holy shit-” “Don’t get ahead of yourself. It was after a bad dream, she wasn’t properly awake-” Ralph waved his hands towards the floor to calm Yune down, but it didn’t work. “-This is all falling into place! Especially when you’re thinking of…!” Yune’s face lit up, “HA!” Ralph shook his head, “Geez, but it’s all a little too convenient right? Like it’s all just happening a little too… at the same time.” Yune let out a frustrated sigh, making sure the door behind him was closed, “For fuck sake Ralph, just propose to the girl already, you’re killing me here-!!” Ralph looked panicked for a second as he waved his hands once more and pressed his finger to his lips to shut Yune up, looking pretty stern, “Shush!” “She loves you, her kid loves you, you’re gonna get this Captain’s job. It’s all gonna work out. Sometimes things just work Ralph. I know you’re not a big believer… even when you know there’s other forces at work out there.” “...Things don’t just work… there’s gotta be reasons!” “Yeah, I just gave you three, they aren’t connected, they’re just happening at the same time. Stop looking for trouble where there isn’t any.” Yune crossed the room and shook his friend’s shoulders, “Cheer up! Ace this interview!” Then he chuckled, “Now I’m gonna go get coffee before Y/N kills me.” Ralph couldn’t help but chuckle back, “Yeah. I would, and I won’t be stopping her!” “Aw,” Yune feigned hurt as he walked back through the door, “now that’s unfair-! After all my support!?”

Ralph sat back at his desk, finding himself needing to take an even bigger deep breath and wishing Yune hadn’t brought up the proposal. It had been a tentative idea thrown out there the last time the two of them had after work drinks, and Yune had immediately leapt on it. He liked asking if Ralph had thought about what he was going to say, and where, and how, and if he’d got a ring yet. And although Ralph was serious, and he knew in the back of his head such a proposal was imminent, he didn’t know anything beyond the fact he was going to do it. He placed a hand to his forehead and groaned, turning back to his notes - this was priority one, everyone was right. Once Ralph knew what his future was going to hold, he could start thinking about what his future with you would look like - and exactly how he’d change that last name of yours.  

***  

Anderson and Andersson had been a running joke between nearly the whole damn city since you’d arrived here. Yune had refused to tell Ralph your name until the Captain had introduced you. And you’d had to on the spot explain to a surprised looking Ralph that ‘mine is spelt with a double-S’ - hence his sometime-nickname for you. With Yune standing by trying his very best to hold in his laughter with a poker face. How you had to introduce yourselves as “Detective Anderson & Andersson” and everyone got that look on their face. And how you started adding the quip of “Yes, we’re partners.” when you’d started dating. But people started to think that you were already married - and then began the process of explaining the spelling, to every person in Flint City who gave the same little amused smile.

When Ralph had started to joke with you about the possibility of getting married, he’d always said something along the lines of; ‘We need to get rid of that extra S - shouldn’t be too hard!’ You’d never really known - or particularly cared - if he was serious or not. You never seemed to be fishing for marriage, the only time you’d brought it up semi-seriously was when you’d had a tentative conversation of having kids of yours own, your comment being ‘At least change my last name first-!’ Your main concern really was his influence on Renée’s life - and you didn’t need to be married for that to continue the way it was going. She didn’t need to refer to Ralph as her father, but he was certainly a father figure for her. Although ever since that night he’d wanted her to say it again, accidentally, or maybe again in a half-asleep state; it hadn’t happened. And you’d watched Ralph try not to look disappointed, or try not to look like he was wishing for it so hard… You both knew it would take her time, but it looked like it was killing him.

He got the Captaincy easily enough, it was barely even an interview; basic competency questions before what felt much more like a chat. Although Ralph was very cautious of slip ups even then. Of course the Frankie Peterson case was brought up, and all Ralph really had to say was that lessons were learned, no-one was perfect, Terry was done right by in the end. We got the guy - though for obvious reasons he didn’t add that. Ralph was fully prepared to admit to mistakes, but thought the rest of his career would speak for itself. And it clearly did. Basically the whole precinct had been called together when it was announced and had a party for him. (Your little family and his closest friends had a more relaxed and intimate dinner together afterwards, where Ralph let himself go a little bit). Ralph was very humble about accepting it, and careful about his transition period. Especially when it came to you, everyone seemed alright with things as they stood - they had watched you both for several years as partners and how the relationship had played out there. It was all very ‘let’s see how it goes’ - and Ralph would take any complaints or comments about professionalism, favouritism or conflicts of interest very seriously. He had sent a general enquiry to the head of county police, but hadn’t heard anything back yet. Ralph just didn’t want to have to move you somewhere when you were so settled. You joked about going to the DA’s office, but that didn’t go down well - for obvious Bill Samuels related reasons, but also because Ralph thought that might make things even worse. You only ever rolled your eyes at him, “For the millionth time I’m not gonna run off with the guy-! He’s a very good friend.” “I thought he was your best friend.” “Ralph Anderson.” You smiled gently, brushing your lips to his, as if he didn’t know. “You have gotta be out of your mind.” Of course, once the position was in hand, there was barely a day that went by that Yune didn’t give him a look of significance. Ralph quite often had to kick him under the desk or strategically hit him with a folder. ‘Now isn’t the right time.’ ‘No, now is perfect! Don’t tell me you’re scared!?’ ‘I’m not scared-!’ ‘Good, cuz you faced off against a shapeshifting thing in a Texas cave, you can propose to your partner.’ Ralph’s laugh was choked, ‘How is this less scary than that-!?’

Ralph was a little scared of getting down on one knee. He had no plan. No game play. Heck he didn’t even think he knew your ring size - some detective he was! - and Ralph didn’t think he had the skill to enquire nonchalantly, or steal one from your jewellery box to get measured somewhere without you noticing.  And he wanted it to be a surprise for you - another reason why Ralph wanted Yune to keep his damn mouth shut. Either you were bound to overhear, or gossip would get it back to you. But it was his last name. Would you want to change yours? It might have been one letter, sure but… you’d still be taking his name. You’d often said of his last name that it was ‘lazy’ when he told you yours was spelled wrong: ‘Somewhere along the line someone got lazy and decided they couldn’t be doing with that second S.’ ‘Why can’t yours be spelled wrong!?’ ‘Most popular surname in Sweden, definitely not spelt wrong.’ Then you’d look up at him; ‘Or you’re Scottish. Anders-son. Son of Anders. Vs… I think yours is Andrew. With that missing S.’ He’d quirked his eyebrow ‘Something wrong with that-!?’ ‘No.’ Though you gave him a teasing little smirk as you’d mused on it for a minute, ‘I’m still going for that lazy angle!’ Not that Ralph thought that would factor any into your decision to marry him, but it was a conversation that kept flooding his brain as he got more and more anxious about asking you. 

Then, suddenly, the perfect idea came to him…

***  

You’d had another day visiting smaller ‘crime scenes’ and filing legal paperwork. Overjoyed when Bill kept congratulating you on being the only one who actually did half this stuff yourself. “One of a kind, Y/N, I tell ya!” “Anything for my favourite DA, of course.” “Which is why we gotta work against those idiots in the PD, right?” “Team work!” You grinned, “Although one is about to be the permanent Captain.” “Ah yeah, well, I’m still the DA. So, if he gives you trouble-!” Although Bill’s smile was warm - Ralph and he had their differences in the work place, but would certainly consider each other friends out of it. You laughed, “Oh, I’ll be right over!” Now you were back at the precinct and pretty buzzy with good energy. All your work was done for the day, and there was nothing too strenuous to pick up from the crimes either.

Your new Captain was standing outside, hands on his hips and smile on his face. You stopped in the grass and tilted your head at him. Ralph looked so happy, but also a little shy about it. You wondered what was up. But couldn’t help but think how lovely it was to see him looking like this. “Captain.” You grinned as he crossed to you, “You need me for something?” “Well I have been waiting for you.” “Oh, not long I hope?” “Well, I mean, I guess I’ve been waiting a while but… better now than never.” “What is?” Ralph reached into his jacket pocket and held out a little booklet for you. It looked like a detective badge, although you wore your own on your belt you always liked the ID booklet ones. Maybe you’d start using one more if this was a new one. You knew that your own promotion was imminent, in line with his own. “It’s about time you started spelling your last name right.” That smile on his face was gorgeous, and yet altogether quite indescribable and you couldn’t help but smile back.

A little confused at first, you took it from him delicately, opening it up. At first you noticed the title at the top. Quite correct: you’d been bumped up a rank; that didn’t surprise you, Ralph already had discussed with you that was something he would do if he got the Captain’s position. Then you scanned the rest of the document and paused. 

‘Y/N Anderson’. You stared at the name for a good few seconds, even though you knew exactly what this was. Your small smile ended up stretching across your cheeks and you could feel your blush rise as you looked back up at him again slowly. Ralph looked like he was trying to fight a smile until he had the answer, although how he could think he’d even need one was really beyond you. “Yes.” “Yes?” Somehow he looked surprised, even at the confidence in your voice. “YES!” You threw your arms around him, perfectly aware that you’d just shrieked it and you were about to start crying. “God, I love you SO much Ralph Anderson!” Ralph held you close with a laugh, “I mean I don’t have a ring; we’ll have to go shopping. but I-” “Are you kidding!?” You pulled back for a second looking back at your new badge, that wasn’t something you cared about right now, “What were you going for, most original proposal ever!?” “I mean I can get down on one knee and actually ask the question, if you want me to. Heck maybe I should I just--” You shook your head and wiped your eyes, “Just ask me. If you want to ask, you don’t need to. This is… perfect.” Ralph chuckled again, and took a deep breath, “Y/N, will you please let me take that damn ‘S’ out of your last name?” You couldn’t help but cackle, thinking that he might just ask you straight, “You may!” “So you’ll marry me?” He grinned, and instead of answering you pulled him into a kiss. Wrapping your arms around his neck as Ralph pulled your body closer to his. He would change her name too, that significance was not lost on you. If he was your husband, he would be Renée’s step-dad… and maybe he’d get called it regularly. Time would surely tell if Ralph Anderson would get his unspoken wish.

Your making-out in the parking lot had not gone unnoticed by Ralph’s best friend, and Yune’s whistle broke you apart. “Hey! Captain! Did she say yes!?” You both looked to each other and then to him. You were still holding that little booklet in your hand and you looked from Ralph to Yune and back. Ralph’s eyes remained on his friend, grinning although he didn’t answer, arms still around you. Of course Yune knew about this, of course he was in on it. You left your very-new fiancé and sprinted across the parking lot to hug the police lieutenant, very nearly screaming: “WE’RE GETTING MARRIED!”

Ralph shook his head watching you almost drag Yune to the ground with your hug, but laughed. Oh, he knew what he was getting himself into alright. He crossed the parking lot to help his friend before he got too smothered. Day 1 of the rest of his life, and that proposal hadn’t been so bad. You had just specifically agreed to take his last name, and Ralph’s heart swelled. If he was a crier, he’d let the happy tears he could feel prickling at his eyes fall.   He guessed the jokes would have to change now… Still, he’d trade those jokes for this.

Detective Anderson & Anderson didn’t sound so bad to him, after all.

---

Thank you for reading my precious babies! 💙💙

[jpegjade]

The Blind Date - Spencer

Request: I'd love one where the reader has dated around with no success (terrible tindr dates, disappointing connections through work, etc). Somehow her and Spence cross ways and go out. He treats her really well and looks at her like she's his world. Shes been dying to have a good man look at her like she's precious and melts at it 🥰

hey hi hello! im working though my requests lists faster than i thought lmao. i do have some ideas that i’ll work through but if you have an idea, my asks are still open. 

Warnings: if you hate dad!spencer, then you will hate part of this. But this is fluffy tbh. 

“Hey babe, look what I found!” You said, flipping through a stack of polaroids hidden away in another pointless stack of papers and other items. 

It was time to clean out the attic since all those dusty boxes were really filling up the space. It had been your dream to build a cave up there just for yourself, away from both your husband and your three kids. 

Spencer climbed up the stairs, squinting to see where you were as his eyes adjusted to the terrible lighting.

 “What did you find? Aside from Asbestos and lung disease… Are you sure you want to build something in here? I can’t imagine it being comfortable considering the way the house is made. There’s nothing to cool you down in the summer months and who knows how winter will fare here.” Spencer looked deeply concerned. 

“Spence, honey, would you come and look at this?” You held up the first ever picture you took of him, your first date written on the back of it in metallic sharpie with the words “I really like him…” in your handwriting. 

“‘I really like him?’ What’s that supposed to mean?” Spencer asked, bending over to look over your shoulder at the photo. In the photo, Spencer was giving the most awkward smile, one hand in the air in a semi-wave motion. He looked like his mom asked him for a photo and he was just doing it to make her happy. 

“I wrote this on our first date… I wasn’t even sure about going on the date before that night…” 

**10 years ago**

“Just one date.” JJ said. “You don’t have to love him but I know you’ll like him.” 

Your friend was insistent that she could set you up on the perfect blind date but you weren’t convinced. You went on so many different Bumble dates, had Tinder hook-ups, and even accepted John from marketing’s proposition to take you on a date last week. It ended in you faking food poisoning and having JJ pick you up from the restaurant because you didn’t have the heart to tell him that you didn’t want to hear about his mom’s weird growth that she needed to get checked out. He was supposed to be showing you pictures when you got back to the table but you knew that was going to definitely give you food poisoning. 

“JJ, if this goes south, I’m just going to swear off dating for a while.” You said, agreeing over the phone. 

“Great. He’ll pick you up at 5 pm for dinner and a horror movie tonight.” JJ said, hanging up before you could protest. 

A horror movie for a first date? What did she expect from you? You knew this wasn’t going to go well but you promised her that you would try. 

He was 15 minutes late. He kept you waiting for 15 minutes and for what? He better have a good explanation. In a huff, you swung your front door open to see if his car was even outside and you came face to face with a messy haired brunette with his arm raised to knock. 

“Hi.” He said, arm still frozen in the air. “I’m Dr. Spencer Reid.”

“What kind of medical doctor shows up late to a first date?” You asked, crossing your arms over your chest. 

“Well, you see, I’m not that kind of doctor but that’s a common assumption. I have three Ph.Ds so you can say I’m more of a specialist in scholarly knowledge and I get to put it into practice with my job as a profiler at the FBI, which is how I got here. Not being in the FBI, per say, but being in the FBI with JJ. As to why I’m late, I was given information that I blindly followed from this other agent, Derek Morgan, which I probably should not have followed.” 

You noticed that Dr. Spencer Reid hadn’t taken a single breath until now. 

“Was that advice to piss me off before you even met me, Doctor not a doctor?” You said, still annoyed. 

You knew JJ had talked about Spencer before when you guys met for breakfast or girls’ night out. You didn’t think about what he looked like until now, though. He was pretty but not so pretty that he knew it. It was more like an understated thing. 

“He said that pissing you off in the beginning would give me a better chance of being able to woo you with my charm and charisma, to quote him exactly. I now realize the flaw in my thinking was that he would be correct and misunderstanding that he was kidding because JJ didn’t tell me you would be so beautiful and while I have a genius IQ, I’ve been told that I lack the social skills needed to accurately assess a situation where I have a beautiful woman staring at me like you want to punch me but also intrigued at the sight of me.” Spencer stopped and realized he still had his arm in the air and dropped it by his side. 

You stared at him quietly. You weren’t sure what to make of him but you did know that you were getting hungry. Your stomach growled loudly. 

“You’re a talker.” You said. “I appreciate that.” 

You turned to lock up the front door before dropping your keys in your bag. Walking to the car, he opened the door for you before you could put your arm out. You looked over at him, stunned. Other guys you “dated” didn’t do anything like that. Yeah, it was a simple thing but it was something that mattered at least a little bit to you.

“Wait.” You said, pulling a small Polaroid camera out of your bag. “Smile for the camera.” 

Spencer smiled, showing all of his teeth, and raised his hand in a wave. You hoped to god that wasn’t his real smile as you snapped the picture. The polaroid came out nicely, his face well lit, and you noticed that in the light, his purple shirt looked nice with the black skinny tie and black pants. 

“I like him” You wrote on the back of the polaroid in metallic marker before getting in the car.

The rest of the night was a breeze. Dinner was filled with intelligent conversation and responses beyond what any of your Tinder “Dates” could comprehend. He ordered the nicest wine on the menu and you nearly choked on your water. So he had money, check. That meant he wasn’t attempting to live off his friends’ couches like the last guy you went on a date with. He let you order whatever you wanted and didn’t care about how much or how little you ate. He didn’t make snide comments about how you should “slow down on the wine.” He didn’t want to make you run out of the building. He made you want more. Of him, of the night, of him. Oh and him. 

The movie was filled with jumpscares and things that were generally uncomfortable to watch but Spencer remained unphased. In fact, he nervously slipped his hand into yours about 20 minutes into the movie and you stayed like that the whole time. When you got particularly scared, he would talk to you in your ear and tell you about the inaccuracies of what was happening, straightening out the facts. As if any of the movie was logical, he kept talking to you like everything could make sense, and it calmed you down. You even found yourself leaning into him by the end of the night. 

When he took you home, that was a bittersweet ending to something you hoped would blossom. 

“Do you...” You started. 

“Can I...” He said at the same time. 

Mumbling a chorus of “you first,” you paused long enough for him to say it. 

“I enjoyed spending time with you tonight. When JJ said it was a blind date with her friend, I didn’t think I would enjoy it as much as I did. I don’t have the best luck with people so I thought I might mess this up too. I can only hope you had as much fun as I had...” He trailed off. 

“I did.” You said a little too quickly. “I mean... I enjoyed your company tonight.” 

There was a weird pause and you waited for him to do it but he kept staring at you. You had to do it, you decided. So you did. You kissed him. And at first he was tentative but then he really got into it. 

“Okay, wow.” You said, finally breaking away. “Do you want to come in? I don’t really want this to end...” You said. 

“Yes.” 

****** 

Spencer was sitting on the floor next to you as you recounted your thoughts on that night to him. Sure, he remembered it but he didn’t remember it like you remembered it and that was what kept him intrigued. 

“Y/n,” Spencer said, looking over at you. “I was 15 minutes late because I was standing at the door practicing my opening line.” 

You looked back at him and you knew the look he was giving you, the one he had given you every time you saw him since that first night. He was staring at you like you were the only thing that mattered. 

“What had you planned to say?” You asked, completely curious. 

“Baby, are you on fire? Because you’ve got me all hot.” He said, looking down at his hand, which you suddenly noticed was holding yours. You were so caught up in telling the story that you didn’t realize what was happening around you. 

You burst out laughing. “Spencer, that’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard you say.” 

He smiled and looked up at you through his glasses. When your laughter finally died down, you were able to concentrate on him again. He was staring at you in that weird way again. Ever since your first date, he always gave you that look. 

“What?” You said, still smiling. 

“Nothing in particular.” He said, looking over at the staircase. Your 7-year-old was climbing up the stairs. 

“Mommy? Daddy? What’s going on? Did daddy tell a funny joke?” She asked, walking over to sit in her father’s lap. 

You looked over at them as she got comfortable. He kissed the top of her head and went back to staring at you. 

“Yes but it’s a joke you won’t get until you’re much older. And one you won’t hear until you’re much older, if ever.” You said poking her belly. 

“Hey, why don’t we go fix lunch?” Spencer said, putting your daughter back on her feet and standing up. 

“That sounds good.” You said, thinking about how hungry you were. 

Standing up, Spencer stopped you for a second while your daughter climbed down. 

“Can we come back up here once the kids are asleep and go through more of those photos? I remember each one you’ve taken of me but I want to know why. You never explain, even now.” He pulled you into a tight hug. 

“Sure. I have enough stories to fill hours of dates.” 

“You know I loved you since that first photo, right?” He said, kissing your cheek. 

“Really? You’ll have to tell me about your version of some of the dates one day.”

_____________

Okay we had a flashback sequence for this one. i tried to keep it simple so there wasn’t a lot of flashing back and forth. I wanted to make that as long as possible bc idk if anyone wants more, honestly. 

ANYWAY HELLO im so sorry for my longass one-shots

Tags: 

@winchestertardis

@ancailinaerach

[reithel1]

Lucifer: Revelations (Outline for a Movie)

OR

Lucifer: Season 6.66

(How I Would Have Written Season 6):

I Love the actors, the characters and have deep appreciation for everyone in front of and behind the cameras… the story had quite a few good things… but parts were missing, some were confusing and some parts that were just plain mean… you naughty writers!

Lucifer Season Six was a disappointment to a lot of people. I swear, if I hear one more person say “bittersweet” I’m going to kick someone right in their dark chocolate.

It wasn’t “bittersweet” … much of the Chloe-and-Lucifer story was just bitter, period. (Also, a lot of folks are appalled at the way Trixie was snubbed…)

First, it’s obvious that none of your writers are old enough to understand the pain they are trying to write about…

They say, “it’s ok because they know Lucifer and Chloe will have eternity together”… This is something that a younger person would write… someone who has never had to live for several decades without that one person… the love of her life, raise his child alone… missing those milestones… first steps, first giggles, birthdays and holidays… it’s even worse, much worse, if he is somewhere else missing them too and she has to feel his pain too. And that is just HUMAN suffering.

Compound that with knowing your loved one is in a place where a month of your pain is a thousand years of torture for him, and it becomes unfathomable.

I have done the human part and wouldn’t even wish that pain on a fictional character.

That Time Travel nonsense just doesn’t work if it means that Lucifer has to sacrifice everything he has worked through, trying to so hard to come to grips with his own daddy issues. There is NO WAY that he would agree to walk away from his own child after all of that. NO WAY that he becomes a deadbeat Daddy.

So, I learned a new word… RETCON… it means “Retroactive Continuity”… something can be changed so that things that come after it can also be changed…

This can be corrected if it is shown that parts of the sixth season were just old, sick Chloe’s dementia, bad dreams, an injury or an illness-driven hallucination...

For one thing, once Rory returned to Chloe’s deathbed, couldn’t she have EASILY just sent up a prayer to Uncle Amenadiel aka GOD, and said, “I know the truth now, please tell Dad it’s time to come home, Mom needs him... it’s time!” and Lucifer could have been there within seconds! So the final scenes of Chloe dying without him don’t make any sense. Amenadiel not taking Chloe to see her Dad and Mom in heaven before heading to Hell also doesn’t make any sense… if she lived to be old, Penelope would have joined John by then.

So, I present: LUCIFER: REVELATIONS OR SEASON 6.66:

NEW GOD: I would change the plot so that Lucifer initially ascends the throne, attempts being God, (people AND angels died for him to become God, you know), he discovers what a hard job it really is, (remember when he said he hated the cacophony of voices in his head? How hard would it be for him to have to deal with 7.79 billion people praying to him in different languages, almost all at once, and see how he handled THAT!), then discovers Chloe is pregnant and THEN figures out that he doesn’t want the God job... How hard would it be for him when he’s God to constantly hear what she is thinking and have to turn a “deaf ear” to it? Not comment on it out of respect for her... adjust to letting her have some kind of privacy? After awhile, Lucifer begins to take more and more time away from his God duties, as if pretending he’s deaf and turning off his “hearing aid.”

NO GOD: On a celestial level, the other angels get frustrated because Dad has vacated the throne, Michael was gone (being punished in Hell) and Lucifer is gone frequently because he wants to step down — spend more time with Chloe as she nears her due date, then with the baby and Trixie, settling in to being an “earthly” Dad, and sort of neglecting his “Father of the Universe” duties… and Amenadiel doesn’t want it either... New rumbling began regarding who should rule... Since earth is once again basically without a God, things begin to descend into chaos, both on the earthly plane and in Heaven...

MICHAEL: Lucifer’s counsel helps Michael understand that the same parental issues that caused him to be rebellious and mischievous has caused Michael to be resentful and devious… This revelation helps them both, Lucifer forgives Michael and after awhile, Michael finally forgives himself for being a dickhead, and finally self-actualizes his wings back. Michael returns to the Silver City, and is happily reunited with all his siblings who are pleased that he has found his way... but soon, he feels the tension of the empty throne, he considers trying to claim it, but he is a different angel now, feels that it is no longer his destiny or his desire to rule... he feels unfulfilled in Heaven and returns to Hell to help Lucifer with his giant new task of helping lost souls find their own way out.

Lucifer is surprised and very pleased to be working wing-to-wing with his brother and it helps lighten his work load, but is dismayed to hear of the unrest in Heaven and the disintegration of things on earth. Since Michael has made such a transformation, while Lucifer was still God, he fixes Michael’s wing and shoulder, removes his scar and makes him beautiful again, with shimmering gold wings. Now he’s just as lovely as Lucifer and has no further reason for jealousy.

AMENADIEL: I wanted to see Amenadiel in a situation where he saved that racist boss by stepping in front of him and deflecting a bullet… the same black guy he has been so horrid to has now saved him… Amenadiel could have a few choice words for him, maybe pulls his shirt open and show him there is no bulletproof vest… right before leaving to go back to the Silver City.

NEW REBELLION: Near the end of the Movie: Wouldn't it be great if Lucifer and Michael could return to Heaven for a battle scene and fight together with Amenadiel against a new rebellion led by someone other than Lucifer or Michael? Now Lucifer is finding out how his father felt when Lucifer rebelled against Him all those many years ago! Surprised? Betrayed? Angry? Hurt? (Maybe it could even be Rory or some as-yet unborn angel child that starts this rebellion against him... but this time, it’s not because he wasn’t a good Dad, but because he is not being a good God in their eyes.)

They would find a way to make their brothers and sisters stand down by stopping the rebellion by a show of wit and power but not fighting... maybe just as the battle is about to begin, Lucifer (who is still God at this point) slices a veil of clouds with the flaming sword, showing a brilliant white and diamond view of a Heavenly Host of souls, millions of them... (CGI) all the good souls who have agreed, plus all the souls that he has saved from Hell and ascended to Heaven who have vowed never to serve any angel who takes the throne by force... (this scene would be great close to the end of the movie for a chance to see everyone one last time as they all stand together in the clouds in support of Lucifer), and can include any/all main characters that have recently deceased — if any — Ella, Maze, Eve, Linda, Trixie... previous characters: John and Penelope Decker, Dan and Charlotte, Father Kinley/Dromos and Squee, Delilah, Jimmy Barnes, Father Frank, Candy Morningstar, Reese, Cain, Abel and LeMec and Mr Said Out Bitch and any angels like RayRay, Zadkiel, Sara, Gabriel, and any other fan favorites from the past that we’d recognize, anyone who is available and willing to do it for the right price), and it is an amazing, breathtaking sight to behold... and with Chloe, Michael, and Amenadiel by his side, Lucifer says, “What would be the point of sitting on a throne in an empty kingdom where the only ones to bend a knee will be a few of your own brothers and sisters?”

This has paved the way for the New God...

(Note: For a couple of seconds each, show a view of the couch back home in Hell’s Therapy Office: Julian and his dad Mr. Tiernan are waiting for their session, squabbling. In another room, Malcom is sitting in a lumpy chair in front of a big screen TV that doesn’t work, with a table of food looks beautiful but has no taste or smell, and a glance into another room with Pete surrounded by lilies, listening to angry women — Ella’s voice and his mother’s — screaming at him 24/7. He and Malcom are both staring at a sign above a Red Light that isn’t lit... “Come to Therapy Office when Lit”)

NEW GOD/OG GOD: The three brothers calmed the rebellion, but they still have an empty throne that none of them really want to ascend to... Lucifer is still technically God, and Michael and Amenadiel try to convince Lucifer that he should resume his duties but Lucifer and Michael are now humble enough to know that it is not their calling... their work in Hell needs them.

Big fanfare! Dad comes back, and Lucifer gladly returns the family business back to its rightful owner... ALL of Lucifer’s lessons are NOW FINALLY completed, FINALLY he has a whole new understanding of how tough God’s job was, he has a whole new appreciation and respect for his Dad and the two of them can finally have the relationship they have always needed and Lucifer has always craved and Lucifer will finally have the chance to have a real family with his Dad and Mum, since they worked out their shit in her dimension, (He’s GOD for Heaven’s sake, you damn well know He can travel between dimensions if He wants to, and I’m sure Goddess is equally powerful and can come and go as She pleases too... gimme a break!

PS: Uriel and Remi can make an appearance too, because I am quite sure Dad is very capable of snatching his children’s souls out of their bodies, or creating replicas or holograms or whatever… removing them from harm’s way just in the nick of time, or giving them new bodies up in the Silver City. He IS God!)

God tells Lucifer he saw him at the Colosseum and was practicing blinking his eyes at the end (we saw three quick black outs at the end of season five while Lucifer held up the flaming sword and said, “Oh my Me”... figured it must’ve been God blinking, but it wasn’t mentioned again).

The three brothers now understand the pecking order, Amenadiel is second in command and has his ability to slow time plus almost as many powers as God (but not quite all the “omni’s”), and Lucifer and Michael are 2nd and 3rd in line, having slightly less powers than Amenadiel but more than the other angels, are happy to facilitate the transformation of Hell while helping out in Heaven whenever called upon to do so — those rare times when God, Goddess and Amenadiel are absent, need extra help or errands run somewhere in the world. Lucifer is still the Lightbringer but that is about all that stands him apart from Michael at that point, as they stand together as matching archangels.

And maybe in the end, the seven of them, (Dad, Mum, Amenadiel, Linda, Lucifer and Chloe and Michael) all working together to make earth and hell better places, and raise Charlie, Trixie and Rory and any future angel babies to be the next generation so that Grandpa and Grandma, Moms, Dads and Uncles can actually take a Vacay once in awhile and visit Mum’s dimension... or... Boca maybe? French Riviera? And Michael helps cover the workload in Hell’s Therapy Office, while Lucifer is away.

LINDA: Speaking of Linda, Linda and Amenadiel should realize eventually that they miss each other and really do love each other. In my story, Dad returns and takes his throne back so that would give Amenadiel and Linda plenty of time to fall back in love, especially now that Maze has married and no longer has a reason to be jealous of them. God and Goddess may retire eventually, or at least lighten their load in this dimension so they can work part time in Goddess’s dimension, so it would be nice if Amenadiel wasn’t going to be alone for eternity since he will obviously be second in command, and in charge, when God and Goddess are busy elsewhere. Plus, there’s Charlie and maybe future angel babies???

DAN: I would have shown Lucifer spending more time with Dan but getting frustrated with him like he always did, (and like he did with Mr. SOB), until he finally takes Dan through a rewind of every important scene of the last days of his life, in reverse, to see why he was feeling guilty... he would have landed on Trixie and their game of unicorn armies soon enough. (And by the way... how is it that Lucifer instantly knew the source of Lee’s guilt, and the Professor’s, and apparently everyone else’s in hell, but couldn’t figure out what Dan was feeling guilty about???) The way Dan ended up in Heaven with Charlotte, waffles and chocolate pudding cups was pretty perfect. I wouldn’t change that.

They didn’t need the whole time travel bullshit to pull it off... and it would have made a much better story without it.

MAZE and EVE: Maze and Eve was pretty good... in a movie, we could see more of their daily life, find out if they have a dungeon in their basement... you know, for Saturday night orgies... (or for some quick, fun torture before turning in their bounty catches)... find out if they ever decided to raise a kid together... maybe Trixie went to stay with them when she turned 18?

Plot twist! Maybe something happens to Trixie and Maze sacrifices herself to save her and dies... ends up in Heaven after all. (See below.)

ADAM: I thought the guy they cast for Adam was an odd choice... Eve looked like she came from that region, but he didn’t look like someone who supplied a rib to make her... all things being equal and taking DNA into consideration.... He should have looked more like her.... But oh well, not my place.... Anyway... maybe God can park Adam in Mum’s new universe and see if She can “pull” something better out of him, LoL. Hopefully his first two sons in Her dimension won’t set us all up to be potential homicidal maniacs.

ELLA: Ella and Carol seemed to be getting along ok, we could find out if she finally found a good guy... or does she like tequila too much to stick with him? Does he backslide into drinking and become violent with her? Does she have to defend herself with the taser she keeps on her key ring these days?

LOL. Anyway, there should be a scene where RayRay comes for a visit... maybe two scenes... one where she stops by to say hello right when Ella finds out that celestials are real and then again at the moment of her death. And Ella should feel welcomed and comforted by her friend RayRay in that moment... which could be something violent and dramatic (and very poignant) if it happens when she’s young... like a shooter in the police station or something.

Then she could see Amenadiel and Lucifer when they welcome her into Heaven. After Michael redeems himself, he and Ella might be a great pair in Heaven... she’s always been attracted to bad boys, and Michael, being an ex-bad boy, might be just what she needs... and her heavenly brightness, might be just what he needs! Michael needs somebody to love him and give him the balance that Chloe gives Lucifer. Yes... perfect... and then Michael would also have his eternal mate. Michael could even fly her down to Hell at some point to peek in on Pete… just for shits and giggles.

One final note about Ella... once God returns, now that Ella knows the truth... she will demand a wedding. We all know Ella wouldn’t let Chloe’s baby be born without Chloe being married to the baby daddy... even if he is an angel... and even if the officiant is God... she would want the pomp and circumstance and the flourish for Chloe and for all their friends. (Because their police friends don’t know that Lucifer is an Angel and God-frey is GOD and Lucifer’s brother/aka Officer Amenadiel is an Angel...) she would want to put on the whole shindig as much for them as the for the happy couple! (The fans want it too!) And woweee what a wedding night!

TRIXIE: I would have shown a few short clips and bits or a montage of Trixie as she reached adulthood… not only milestones like getting driver’s license and a not-catholic-Chloe giving her the keys then crossing herself… first kiss, cap and gown pic of high school graduation, but also brief scenes of her holding pic of Dan crying… maybe even looking at her mom’s gun… sitting on Linda’s couch…

Maybe Trixie follows in the family tradition and joins the LAPD when she’s old enough... Pete has been in a mental institution but has conned everyone that he’s sane and is out now… Trixie is in the precinct when Pete shows up bearing a grudge and a semi-automatic pistol… Maze and Eve are there with their latest bounty, Ella is there with some evidence on a case, and is scared when she sees him… Pete shoots at Ella, but Maze jumps him, takes the bullet, starts fighting… Pete isn’t great with a gun (and he’s still crazy) so he misses Ella, but he keeps shooting… then RayRay shows up, tells Ella not to worry, to close her eyes, everything will be fine,(nobody else can see her of course)… Maze ends up saving Trixie and Eve and several other people in the office with her ninja skills, but during the scuffle, one of the bullets hits Ella and several others are deflected, but Maze takes two more hits that would have killed Trixie and Eve and a couple of other officers receive non-life-threatening GSWs. Maze is a tough cookie, but even she can’t survive being shot three times at close range… and RayRay makes sure Ella feels no fear or pain as she transcends then goes back for Maze who survives a little longer. Long enough for a tearful, heartfelt goodbye to Eve... maybe she sings a few bars of Wonderwall? Eve, who, being 13 billion years old herself, may follow her to Heaven with a broken heart (or an aneurism or a ruptured appendix) soon after. Who knows. She’s never been sick before... will she know what to do if she feels a pain in her right side?

Ooooo! I just added this:

As she is dying, Maze thinks Eve’s wound is superficial, (but is it?), and tells Eve she thinks she is “Done, ‘over-and-out” and probably headed for Squee’s chamber of torture in Hell since she’s not sure Lucifer ever finished making the changes regarding who could rule…

After RayRay drops off Ella in Heaven she returns to the precinct massacre… Maze thinks she’s there to take Eve and begs RayRay to let Eve live… To keep us guessing, the scene changes…. SO, did RayRay take only Eve back to Heaven? Or put one under each arm and fly away? Did she take one to Heaven and one to Hell? Stay tuned…

Trixie was saved by Maze’s sacrifice and ultimately becomes a Detective like her mom and dies heroically, in the line, years later, after marrying and giving Chloe and Lucifer a couple of grandchildren to dote over. Happy reunion scene in Heaven with Dad-Dan and Grandma Penelope Decker, meets Grandpa John Decker. Maybe it could do a quick view of the person Trixie gave her life to save who goes on to become a doctor and find a cure for a disease. Framed on the doctor’s desk is a newspaper clipping of a headline, “Ninja Cop Saves Kid” subheading “Officer Subdued Three Suspects Using Karambit, Freed Hostage Before Being Shot”

LINDA: It doesn’t have to be Rory that helps Lucifer figure out that he’s supposed to be a therapist is Hell... LINDA could be the one to point out to Lucifer that he offered Lee, (Mr. Said Out Bitch), some excellent advice, the same way she’s been offering Lucifer advice for the past five years, only Lee actually took that advice (unlike Lucifer who usually skews or screws up her advice)... And that’s why Lee was there in heaven to help him when he crash-landed... “And hey... wouldn’t it be wonderful if someone could give that kind of advice to other souls down in Hell? Because until the moment that YOU TOOK THE TIME to explain it to Lee, NOBODY DOWN THERE KNEW what was causing their hell loops or that they had ANY CHANCE or ANY METHOD of escaping them! Maybe they just needed somebody to give them that clue. What do you think Lucifer? Do you know anybody who might be UNIQUELY QUALIFIED for that job?” — you see??? No need for a friggin' time travel plot device... no need to torture Lucifer, who has already spent billions of years in hell, by taking him away from the love of life and his child for billions more years!

I could also see Lucifer having a standing weekly appointment with Linda both while still living and in Heaven after she passes, to discuss his most difficult cases and get her take on them and opinions on what he should say, which he will get right sometimes and spectacularly fuck up other times!

Linda loves her role as therapist to the celestial world, and her man is God and Goddess’s 2nd in Command now, her son is an angel... she is set for eternity! The doctor is IN!

CHARLIE, RORY, OTHER ANGEL BABIES: After Amenadiel and Linda come to their senses and finally commit to being together, they should have a set of twins, possibly more babies later. Lucifer and Chloe should have at least one more. Angel babies are smart… half humans start normal… get their wings around the time they are potty trained. Linda and Chloe provide discipline, human education… empathy, sympathy, joy, and as much human history as possible. The children would be extremely smart, could skate through school jumping grades… so being home-schooled seems more logical. Controlling excitable, hyperactive children who can fly will prove quite challenging for the human parents, but the angel Daddies are thrilled with their role… teaching them to fly, schooling them about celestial business… Also, they could grow in stature faster than normal human children. They would look grown up by the age of five, but would still be as immature as children and need their mothers to guide their emotional maturity to catch up to their rapid growth.

DECKERSTAR: In my story, we get to see Lucifer and Chloe happy together, raising Trixie and Rory... Chloe always trying to keep her devilish side in check while Daddy's always having fun. Rory has him wrapped around her pinky and he is a doting daddy. She’s a handful, brilliant in school.... Sometimes a little “spirited” and that gets her in trouble.

She gets bullied at school, she says, “back off Billy, you got no idea who my daddy is! Remember the girl that bullied Trixie?

I can picture her first date... Lucifer says, “have her home by 9:30 OR ELSE” and flashes his red eyes...

The first time a date gets fresh with her and she says, “No means NO!” and tosses them out of the car!

Oh hell, watching Lucifer and Chloe raise Rory and Trixie and any other little angels that come along would be hilariously funny... could be it’s own spin off “Devil Daddy Knows Best” or Daddy Devil Knows Best... I can’t decide.

NUDITY: In a movie, we can see more of Lucifer in the nude, and have hotter sex scenes.... Not x-rated or anything, but we could get closer to R-rated... definitely expand on that orgy scene in “Orgy Pants to Work”!!! (Tom’s wife looks enough like Lauren that with the right lighting and camera angles, they could do a lot together using her as Lauren’s body double and with editing, we would never know which was which!!!). And maybe he’d actually KISS HER.

Sure, the whole “Chloe growing older while Lucifer stays young” plot thing is a pain in the ass... for some of the years, he could dye his hair greyer to match hers until it was white, even though his face wouldn’t have aged.... People see what they want to see... but it would have been a lot more heart-wrenching to have a scene where an older-looking Chloe calls a family meeting and asks the children to please understand that society just won’t handle the truth, and they must fake Lucifer’s death so that they can start a new life someplace else where nobody knows them... that means they won’t get to see him very much because he will have to live elsewhere and they can only go visit and have to pretend he’s dead. At least that way, Chloe can see him on weekends and vacations, and he can fly in for quick visits in the middle of the night when either of them get too lonely. They can set things up ahead of time for rendezvous.

At some point, she can retire from the LAPD and announce that she is moving to Florida or Vegas (some place where folks are used to seeing older women with younger men), or whatever, and she can be a cougar and he’s her pool boy? Massage therapist? Chef? (Could be a running joke.)

When she reaches a certain age, it could be a tear jerking scene if she asks him to leave her because she is embarrassed about her failing body, but would he? Why wouldn’t he just agree to allow her to lie to people and say he was living with her because he was her nephew or male nurse or something? Or simply say he was her caretaker… which wouldn’t be a lie… At that point, nobody would know them, and it’s nobody’s business anyway...

And he would definitely be by her bedside when she died, and so would Trixie and Maze and anyone else that was still alive, (if any... or did she outlive them all because she was stuck with the Tree of Life??? Nobody told us if that, and being able to conceive angel babies were the side effects of being stabbed with the Tree of Life...) and upon her death there would be a tender, tearful, “see you soon,” then RayRay would show up, she would transform into her younger self, and Lucifer would fly her to Heaven to see Amenadiel and her Dad, probably her mom by then, and any of their friends if any of them died first.

OR... DECKERSTAR 2nd OPTION:

We could dispense with the whole “she’s growing old and whatever shall we do???” problem, and just have Chloe die doing what she loves best.. protecting somebody in the line of duty. She could be approaching retirement... she and Lucifer could already be having the “I’m starting to look too old to be with you even though you’re dyeing your hair grey... what should we do?” conversation when one day, they are coming out of a fast food joint with the grandkids and bank robbers step out of the bank next door, she yells “LAPD!” they both step in front of the grandkids as she pulls her gun... RayRay shows up one second later… you see where I’m going with this right? Tearful goodbye scene… no rescue this time… Lilith’s ring is empty… this time, it is her human destiny.

After her death, Lucifer would carry her to Heaven to visit her dad and anyone who predeceased her, and then they would travel back and forth together where she would help him redeem souls part of the time in hell. Same outcome as Season 6.

Maybe, since she was a handmade gift from God (via Amenadiel) to start with, God will turn her into an angel and give her matching white luminescent wings so that she can stand beside Lucifer as an equal, and that way, they can also fly to earth now and then for vacations all over the world after all their friends and family members have crossed over (so nobody on earth freaks out from accidentally seeing them again, LoL, but if she outlived everybody anyway... problem solved.) Hey, He’s God, He can do anything, right? ;o)

Along those same lines, in special consideration for all the help and happiness they have brought to Amenadiel and later to Michael, I could also see God and Goddess granting wings and angel status to Linda and Ella so that they can be suitable mates for His sons for their eternity in Heaven, and able to enjoy all of the perks that go along with that… Maybe, if Chloe outlives them all and she is the last to arrive in Heaven, they could even have a little ceremony, where God and Goddess bestow wings and angel status on them all, including Maze and Eve, which might come as a HUGE surprise to Maze, who never dreamed she’s make it to Heaven to begin with.

They could keep the parts where Chloe and Amenadiel work toward cleaning up the LAPD… and we definitely need to hear Tom sing more… a lullaby to his baby… childhood songs when they’re older and of course, show him teaching them the piano and guitar… of course we must have full blown staged musical numbers… maybe have him sing softly to Chloe as she’s sleeping… and/or as she’s dying… it could be amazing. And I loved Bob the Drag Queen… Lux should bring the RuPaul Review and enjoy several of them… they put on a great show!

One more thing... we NEED a making-love scene with Lucifer holding Chloe in his arms while flying! Wings covering everything important, of course, but it is obvious what they’re doing! Joining the mile-high club! How about on the wedding night?!? Whooohooo!!!!! (If Chloe isn’t already pregnant when this wedding night flight happens, maybe this is when Rory is conceived???)

There’s enough there for a movie or about a dozen more episodes of the show... This is only an outline, but but I could write stories myself for some of these ideas… hell, they practically write themselves. Anyway, THAT’S how I would outline a Movie: Lucifer: Revelations… or Lucifer Season 6.66!!!

Now... let’s get busy and do it different this time (with no time travel nonsense and no sadistic torturing DECKERSTAR)! LOL

[twinklecheeks]

Friends With Benefits (Jeff Wittek Imagine) Part 6

Summary: Jeff and Y/N have been hooking up for a while. The whole vlog squad assumes they’re dating and Y/N does too but Jeff doesn’t like labels. He eventually starts to express interest in Natalie.

Note: Planning on making this a multiple part series, depending on how good it does.  You’re 21 & Latina in this (maybe) series. Also, I’d like to apologize for the typos, if there are any. I’m just illiterate lmao.  

-I’d also like to say that I am SO sorry about not updating the series in 8 months. I started writing this the week school started last semester. I attempted to do it during Thanksgiving & Christmas break but I didn’t have the energy to do it. I know that we’re all struggling in quarantine and going through withdrawal because David has only 1 video in almost 2 months. I’m going to *TRY* to update this 2 times a week.

Warnings! Pregnancy, smut, nsfw, 18+

Don't read this if you don't like smut

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

Word Count: 1.5k

You and David have practically been dating soon after the gender reveal and finally made it official but you don’t plan to announce it on social media anytime soon. He’s been helping you a lot. Since you’ve found out you were having twin girls, you went straight to planning on how the nursery would look like. Everytime David comes over, he brings stuff like baby toys, clothes, the whole shabang. I know that David isn’t the father but he’s very excited about the babies. You thought your first trimester was difficult and it was but there’s a big problem when in the second trimester…. You’ve become horny 24/7; before pregnancy, you had sex often and you loved it. But since being pregnant, you’ve been deprived of it! You bought a bunch of dildos and vibrators cause you just couldn’t handle it anymore. You would rub yourself, fuck yourself with the dildo or use the vibrator several times just to get through the day.

Texting Kylie:

Y/n: “why didn’t you tell me the second trimester makes you super horny”

Kylie: “GIRL STOOOP. Looking back on my pregnancy, that was the funniest part. Your hormones are just all over the place. I used toys and it helped but I also was with Travis”

Y/n: “I’ve been using them but it doesn’t feel the same as actually fucking someone.”

Kylie: “Why don’t you ask David? ;)”

Y/n: “Whaaat noo! I can’t”

Kylie: “Why not? Isn’t he your boyfriend? It’s not like he would turn you down and plus, it’s not like you can get more pregnant than you already are.”

Y/n: “I mean true but idk. I just feel weird. I’m fat and pregnant with twins. I love my girls already but why couldn’t they just be one baby”

Kylie: “blame Jeff’s super sperm”

Y/n: “I also blame myself. We were fucking all the time, anytime, anywhere”

Kylie: “Anywhere?”

Y/n: “Yeah… remember Zane’s earthquake challenge video at target? Jeff and I may have had a quickie in one of the dressing rooms…”

Kylie: “What the fuck”

Y/n: “Yeah. I know. Not my proudest moment”

Kylie: “but girl i’m serious, ASK DAVID”

Y/N: “Ugh fine. But if he says no, I’m moving away and changing my identity because this shit is embarrassing”

*On the phone with David*

Y/n: “Heyy, can I come over?”

David: “Yeah, of course. Are you okay?

Y/n: “Well… technically yes but… ummm…. I’d rather just discuss this in person”

David: “Sure”

*Y/n arrives at David’s house*

Y/n: *Gives David a quick kiss* “Hey Dave.” David: “Hey babe. You sounded a little weird on the phone.” Y/n: “I mean you’re not wrong… I just have a little tiny problem and I’m going to lose my mind if it isn’t resolved” David: “what’s the problem?” Y/n: “Ugh this is so awkward I don’t want to ask” David: *David wheeze laugh* “Dude just tell me”, Y/n: “Okay umm… i’msuperfuckinghornyandi’mwonderingifyoucanhavesexwithmeifnoticompletelyunderstand.” David: “Can you please say it slower cause I only understood like 2 words.” Y/n: “I said that I’m super fucking horny and I’m wondering if you can have sex with me if not, I completely understand…” David: “Like, how bad is it?” Y/n: “Ooo boy it’s baaad.” David: “Well, we’re technically together and I wasn’t sure if you were thinking about taking that step because you’re pregnant.” Y/n: “I’m open to ANYTHING rn. I just need to be fucked HARD.”

David: *Grabs y/n’s hand and leads her to his room* Y/n: “Is Natalie home? I don’t want her to hear us.” David: “Don’t worry. She’s at Todd’s.” Y/n: “At Todd’s?” David: “Yeah, Todd had a thing for her before Jeff did and he basically went for Natalie when Todd told him that he was going to ask her out.” Y/n: *pulls in David for a needy kiss and moans* David: “wow you really are horny.” *Pushes y/n on the bed and takes off her shirt* Y/n: *unclips her bra* “Do anything that’ll make me cum please.” David: *looks at y/n’s tits and sucks on the right nipple* “Wow. Your tits have gotten… wow.” You cry out in pleasure, letting your head fall back, your mouth open. They were so sensitive that every twirl of his tongue made your pussy even more wet. Y/n: *smirks* “You’ve noticed?” David: “okay... I may have had wet dreams about you.” Y/n: “good.” David: *gets undressed and pulls off your pants* “you have no idea how much I’ve dreamt about eating you out.” Y/n: “please. Do something.” David: *His fingers reach your clit.”  Y/n: *You gasp at the feeling of him pressing down on your clit* “mmmm oh my god. Please suck on my clit.” David: *David twirls his tongue around your clit and fingers you* “babe you’re so wet. I can’t wait to fuck you sensless.” *David sucks your clit and fingers you faster* Y/n: “please don’t stop. I NEED to cum.” David: *feels her walls pulsate and she squirts on him* Y/n: “oh my god. Please make me cum like that 10 more times tonight.” David: “are you sure you want to do this?” Y/n: “I haven’t been this sure about something in a long time.” David: *aligns himself with your center and slowly thrusted into you.*  Y/n: *moans, almost screams* “holy fuck. I know your going slow not to hurt me but Dave, I want you to fuck me until I can’t walk.” David: *he hears you out and the lust took over and started pounding into you fast and hard* Y/n: “DAVID OH MY GOD PLEASE KEEP FUCKING ME I’M SO CLOSE.” David: “Shit I’m close too babe” *pounds y/n as fast as he can and cums inside her.” Y/n: *cums right after* “oh...my…” David: *pulls out and sees his cums drip out* “Damn. I don’t think I’ve ever cummed that hard.” Y/n: “If you keep fucking me like that, it’s going to be hard for me to keep my hands off you haha.” David: “I would not have a problem w/ that at all.”

(it’s getting close to thanksgiving and Jeff decides to fly home to Staten Island early and the only people who kind of know about the situation are his siblings)

Jeff: “Hey ma.” Jeff’s mom: “Hello Jeffrey. Natalie couldn’t come?” Jeff: “yeah no. We’re kind of on a break rn.” Jeff’s mom: “Oh well that's too bad. Hopefully she’ll come for Christmas.” Karyn (Jeff’s older sister): “hey Jeff. Can you help me out w/ shopping? I have to go to Manhattan” Jeff: “Sure.”

*On the Staten Island Ferry*  

Karyn: “Okay so now that we’re alone, can you actually tell me what the fuck did you do.” Jeff: “Excuse me? The fuck you talking about?” Karyn: “I know that made up bullshit about y/n getting knocked up by a rando and Natalie asking for a break is a damn lie. Y/n was in love w/ you but you ignored all the signs and Natalie, she would only ask for a break if you were being a fucking idiot. I’m your older sister. I know when you’re lying.” Jeff: “Ugh fine… Y/n is knocked up w/ my kids and I basically said some horrible stuff that wasn’t true. As for Natalie, she was there to see me say all those horrible things and she dumped me on the spot, in front of the whole friend group…” Karyn: *stares at Jeff dumbfounded* “Excuse me did you say KIDS as in PLURAL??!” Jeff: “Yeah… She’s pregnant w/ twin girls…” Karyn: “Oh Jeffrey why the fuck did you act that way. You’re such an idiot. If mom and dad found out about this, they’d literally murder you.” Jeff: “I don’t know… I think it was because I got into something so serious less than a year after being dumped by Cierra; I panicked and I sabotaged myself. I know I’m wrong but I already fucked everything up. Everybody hates me.” Karyn: “I thought you changed Jeff when you got out of Prison.” Jeff: “What do you mean you *thought*” Karyn: “You have trouble w/ responsibility. When we were at your trial, you said you were not guilty, even when you got to prison, you still said you weren’t guilty but you were.” Jeff: “That’s different.” Karyn: “How?? You’re refusing to accept responsibility for those 2 babies. Jeff, you’re almost 30 years old. It took you 4 years after you got out to come to terms with what you did. Is it gonna take you until your 34 to realize you fucked y/n and those twin girls over? What is she gonna say when they ask for their dad huh? Sorry, daddy didn’t care about you? You either fix things with y/n ASAP or I’m gonna tell mom and dad.” Jeff: “what the fuck are you 5?! Why we gotta bring them into this?” Karyn: “so they fucking knock some sense into you Jeff and you know they are 100x worse than I am. I ain’t doin’ nothing to you rn because we’re in public. Imma give you until New Years... if you don’t tell them, then they gonna hear it from me...”

Karyn was never afraid to tell Jeff and their other brother how it is. Jeff knew that Karyn was right but he had no idea how he could possibly apologize for being a horrible human being to you. Will Jeff apologize before New Years? Will y/n forgive him?  

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[thebrotherssalvatore321]

Keeping Secrets Ch. 33

Keeping Secrets Masterlist

Pairing: Current: ElijahxOc. Past: DamonxOc, TylerxOc.

The first thing to enter Katie’s semi conscious state was the feel of Elijah sweeping her hair away from her neck. Half asleep she scooted forward following his scent of clean linen and cologne then found his arm and laid her head on it as she tucked herself into his chest with one arm thrown over his side and the other tucked between them. He smiled at her and simply watched her chest rise and fall. He still found it hard to believe that after one hundred and seventy one years she was there, in his arms once again.

Some things had changed, physically and personality wise, but so much had stayed the same. Like the way she sought him out in her sleep, the fact that she was one of the most observant people he knew yet she still had ditzy moments. Even some of her mannerisms had stayed the same. Her eyes were still the same shade of kelly green with golden flecks, her nose still thin bridged and slightly upturned. The only things that had changed about her physically were her lack of freckles, her hair was more relaxed and naturally darker and her breasts were a cup bigger, all of which he thought were improvements, not that she ever needed improving.

As he took her in she started getting the feeling that she was being watched and it pulled her from her semiconscious state to fully aware. Well, that along with the fact that he had rested his hand on her side and was absentmindedly rubbing it with his thumb. “Are you staring at me?” she asked sleepily with her eyes closed. When he didn’t say anything she cracked her eye open to see him looking at her in awe. “You’re staring at me.” She sighed with a small smile then closed her eyes. She would never tire of seeing him look at her like that or the feeling it always sparked in her.

“I prefer to call it gazing.” He told her with a thank you so much tone.

“Gaze away, I’m gonna go back to sleep.” She sighed not really planning on going back to sleep, she just wanted to continue to cuddle with him.

“You always did like your sleep.” He commented.

Katie opened her eyes and looked up at him. “And you always reminded me that nothing good ever happens while you sleep, but these days I beg to differ.” She told him with a smirk. “When I went to Duke for the summer we took a tour of the neonatal nursery and I held a baby. That night I remembered that you and I were thinking about adopting a child together.”

“A two year old little girl named Nora.” He recalled. “That was just another thing that Niklaus took away from me when he killed you.” he told her sadly.

“We never got the chance to talk about it before Klaus killed me. Do you really think we could’ve raised her without her asking questions about why mommy got older, but daddy didn’t?” she asked as she propped her head up with her elbow and hand to look at him without craning her neck.

“We would have had to tell her what I am, but I thought at the time we could have made it work.” He told her honestly.

“Maybe sometime, years in the future, we can revisit the idea.” She suggested.

“Perhaps.” He told her with a small smile.

“Right now, however, I just want to make it to graduation, walk across that stage, get my diploma, and get the hell out of this stupid town.” She told him with a sigh. “I know it probably sounds stupid to want to graduate and go to college when I can live forever and do anything or go anywhere, but-”

“You don’t have to defend your dreams to me.” He cut her off.

“What are your dreams?” she asked curiously.

“I’ve never had time for dreams.” He told her with a shake of his head. “You were the only thing I ever looked forward to.”

“Well, here I am.” She said with a cheesy smile that made him smile. “Now what?”

“We figure that out as we go.” He answered.

“Okay, step one of figuring it out as we go…” she told him as she slid on top of him and started kissing his chest making him think she wanted a repeat of last night. But she kissed her way to his ear. “Food, I’m starving.” She sat up and slipped her hands down his chest to his stomach. “What’s the blood situation like here? Damon and Stefan kept a deep freezer of blood bags in the basement.”

Elijah flipped them over and kissed her neck then down to her chest then looked into her eyes. “We are not cavemen. There are blood bags in the kitchen, bottom drawer of the icebox.” He whooshed out of the bed and held his hand out to her.

She took it and slipped out of the bed.

“So food or shower first?” he asked as Katie walked over to the dresser and pulled the top drawer open to see seven matching bra and panty sets.

“It doesn’t matter to me.” She answered.

“Breakfast first.” He told her as he walked over and pulled the second drawer of the dresser open to reveal some pajamas and lounge clothes. “I’ll meet you downstairs.” He pecked her on the forehead then left her to go put on some clothes himself.

She threw on a pair of pajama shorts and a tank top then went down stairs to see Elijah standing at the bar in a pair of black sweat pants and a white t-shirt. She observed him as he emptied a blood bag into a clear glass that was sitting next to an already full one. He gave her a small smirk as he handed her a glass and grabbed the second one for himself. “What are you contemplating?” he asked seeing the familiar look on her face.

“Trying to decide if I like your butt better in suit pants or sweatpants.” She answered then took a drink of the blood in the glass.

He gave her a cheeky smile that showed off his nice teeth then quirked a brow at her. “You are much more brazen than you used to be.” He pointed out.

“Is that a bad thing?” she asked a little unsure of herself as she looked down at the rich red liquid in her glass.

“No.” he told her as he hooked his middle finger under her chin and lifted her head and she met his eyes. “You have to quit assuming that just because I point out how you’ve changed that I don’t like said change.”

“Okay.” He replied quietly and he dropped his hand from her chin.

“So which is it?” he asked, bringing them back around to what she had been contemplating.

“I don’t know, I think I need to do more research. Turn around.” She told him with a smile and a twirl of her finger. He smiled, turned around and walked over to a stool at the bar then sat down and faced her. “Suit pants, hands down.” He simply smiled and leaned back in the chair as he took a drink of the blood in his glass.

When her text tone chimed she saw that it was from Caroline and frowned. “What is it?” he asked.

“Caroline wants to talk to me. She asked me to meet her at her house.” She answered.

“You do not want to go?” he asked curiously.

“I don’t know what I want.” She answered as she walked over to stand at the bar across from him.

He watched her take a large drink from her glass. “I know you.” she set her glass down and looked at him. “You love your friends. Even Elena despite how much you say you hate her. It’s your hurt talking, not you.”

“So you think I should go?” she asked as she watched him tap his fingers on his glass with pursed lips.

“I think you should do what you feel is right.” He replied as he sat up and took a drink.

“Sometimes the things I love most about you are also the most aggravating.” She told him and he gave her a confused narrow eyed look. “You, unlike Damon, don’t tell me what to do, even when I want you to.” She answered and he finished off the blood in his cup and stood up.

She threw back what little was left in her cup and he held his hand out for the glass as he walked past her. “So what are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking that I love you and now that I have you back all should feel right in the world, but it doesn’t.” she answered as she turned and watched him rinse the glasses out and put them in the sink.

“And why is that?” he asked as he turned and leaned against the counter with a narrow eyed look at her.

“I thought by cutting ties with them, giving Caroline back the charm bracelet they gave me for my last birthday, I would feel better, but I don’t.” she said with a head shake. “When I walked into class Friday Caroline pointed out that I was strangely chipper and I wanted nothing more in that moment to gush and gossip with her like the giddy school girl that I am, but I couldn’t. We’ve been best friends since first grade and losing her and Bonnie because of Elena’s pettiness and my own…? It’s stupid.”

He walked over to her and placed his hand on the bar, tapping it with his fingertips before he looked up from it to her. “When you envision your future, are they in it?” after a few seconds of thought she nodded. “Then I think you know what you need to do.” She pursed her lips and pulled them to the side as she nodded. “Come, let’s shower then you can go to Caroline.” Katie nodded and grabbed her phone, texting Caroline back as they made their way upstairs.

TVDTVDTVD

When Katie knocked on Caroline’s door, she couldn’t help but wonder what exactly was waiting for her on the other side. She could see Caroline through the window on the front door as she walked up and pulled it open. “You came.” Caroline looked surprised.

“Should I not have?” Katie asked politely. “Because if Elena and Damon are waiting inside to vervain me again we’re going to have some major problems.”

“You attacked Damon.” Caroline countered.

“Since when do you care about Damon?” Katie asked with a shake of her head.

“Good point.” Caroline replied then stepped aside and motioned her in.

Katie walked inside. “So why am I here?” she asked as she followed Caroline to her room only for Bonnie and Elena to come into view sitting on Caroline’s bed. A tray of candles sat on the bed between them and the smell of burned sage filled the room.

“What is she doing here?” Elena asked before Katie could.

“We’re all going to work out our differences.” Caroline answered. “I’m tired of sitting back pointlessly hoping the two of you will work it out.”

“She threatened me!” Elena yelled at them with wide eyes.

“And you all but threw yourself at Damon while we were still together.” Katie said with a glare.

“I don’t have to sit here and listen to this.” Elena said as she got up off the bed and headed for the front door. Caroline smirked at Bonnie who smirked back. Katie knowing something was up walked past Caroline out of the room to see Elena try to walk out only to be stopped by an invisible wall. She hit it a few times with her open hand then turned back to look at Bonnie who had also left Caroline’s room to watch Elena. “What did you do?”

“Simple boundary spell.” Bonnie shrugged. “Neither of you are going anywhere until I say you can.”

“Okay, I’ll play.” Katie sighed as she walked into the living room and sat down on the sofa.

“You’re not going to call Elijah for help?” Elena asked as she walked in and sat down in the recliner across from her.

“Why would I? He doesn’t fight my battles for me.” Katie asked as she threw her arm across the back of the couch.

Caroline and Bonnie walked into the living room and sat down forming a circle of girls. “Okay,” Caroline sighed and looked at Elena, “vent. Tell Katie everything she’s done to make you mad.”

“Well for starters there’s Damon. You let him think you were going to choose him over Elijah all the while you practically pushed him away and made it seem like he was the one falling out of love with you when you were the one who fell out of love with him. You strung him along knowing that you were still in love with Elijah.” She told her coldly.

“We fell out of love with each other and in love with other people. It’s as simple as that.” Katie countered. “Next issue please.”

“You sat by and watched Klaus make Stefan kill two innocent people and didn’t do anything to try to stop him, you actually thought about joining him and you acted like killing me would be doing you a favor.” She told her with a sneer.

“One, I’m not stupid enough to think I could physically stop Klaus from doing anything. I tried to stop him from hurting Tyler and he threatened to kill me. Two, you have no idea how hard it is to resist fresh blood. Three, I was pissed at you and lashing out. If you haven’t noticed I had a temper as a human… shit get amplified as a vampire, get over it.” she told her as she leaned forward and put her elbows on her knees. “Next?”

“You told Damon you would go to the dark side in order to get Elijah back.” Elena pointed out.

“I told Damon I didn’t know what lengths I would go to get him back.” she corrected her then made a come at me motion.

“We were right not to trust you because you did work with Klaus to get him back.” Elena told her.

“Because my friends who I would have thought would help me, turned their backs on me and left me no other choice.” Katie told her with anger flashing behind her eyes.

“Okay, Elena, is there anything else you want to say?” Caroline asked and Elena shook her head no. So Caroline looked at Katie, “You have the floor.”

“Okay, I was told to vent so here it goes.” Katie said then leaned back. “You flirted with Damon while we were still together. You stabbed Rebekah in the back despite the fact that she helped all of you get Klaus here. You, unlike me, really are stringing two men along. You turned Damon against me. You gave Rebekah to Klaus and told him that she knew that he was the one that killed their mother just to ensure that he would not only never un-dagger her but would also never un-dagger Elijah because he knew one of you would tell him and turn Elijah against him yet again. You would think that ensuring the love of my life would never see the light of day would be what hurt the most, but it’s not. I don’t have family. I considered all of you family and YOU turned them away from me.” she didn’t bother pushing back the blood that rushed to her face or the tears that slipped down her cheeks as she stood up to glare at her. “I have never felt more alone and isolated than I did then. That, Elena, is what hurt the most.”

“Katie I think that was a bit much.” Bonnie spoke up seeing the tears slipping down not only Katie and Elena’s cheeks but Caroline’s as well.

“Esther is planning on killing all of her children.” Elena told her as she wiped at the tears on her face. “She’s linked them together so if one dies they all die.”

“Elena!” Bonnie scolded her.

“What?” Katie asked as she stumbled back to sit back down on the couch.

“I’m sorry, Bonnie, I can’t let her kill Elijah. He found a way to save me when Klaus wanted to sacrifice me.” She looked at Katie as a few more tears slipped down her cheeks. “He doesn’t deserve to die and I can’t hurt Katie any more than I already have. We’ll find another way to kill Klaus.”

Katie grabbed her phone and dialed Elijah’s number, but Bonnie knocked the phone out of her hand and stomped on it. “I can’t let you tell him.”

“Bonnie!” Elena stood up at the same time Katie did.

“Drop the barrier.” Katie told her as her eyes grew dark.

“No.” Bonnie argued. “I’m sorry, but Klaus has to die and it’s happening tonight, on the full moon. Esther needed a celestial event.”

“You’re working with her?” Katie asked in disbelief.

“She’s channeling the entire Bennett ancestral line for power.” Bonnie told her as she lifted her chin in defiance.

“Drop the barrier Bonnie!” Katie yelled as once again the blood rushed to her eyes only for her to be knocked to her knees in pain as Bonnie held her hand up. Not knowing what else to do Katie closed her eyes and called to Elijah.

In less than a minute he was at the front door, but couldn’t come inside since he hadn’t been invited in. “Katie!” he called hearing her groans in pain.

“Bonnie stop it!” Elena begged and Bonnie stopped.

Katie whooshed to the door and threw it open only to be stopped by the spell that was still in place. “What is going on?” he asked with a look at her friends behind her.

“Bonnie’s trapped me in here.” She told him then turned to look at Bonnie then Elena. “Tell him what you told me?”

Elena walked over to stand next to Katie on their side of the barrier. “My blood was in the champagne toast last night. Esther used it in a spell to link you and your siblings together. She’s planning on killing you all tonight during the full moon.” She told him and Katie saw anger flash in Elijah’s dark brown eyes.

Katie turned and walked over to Bonnie. “If you do not drop that barrier I will never forgive you. What would you do if things were reversed? If it was Jeremy that Esther was trying to kill.” Katie asked, hoping to appeal to Bonnie’s humanity. “Please.”

Bonnie reluctantly closed her eyes, holding her hands out to the side for a minute then dropped them and opened her eyes. “It’s down.”

Katie waved her hand through the doorway freely then whooshed the short distance into Elijah’s arms. As they hugged Elijah whispered in her ear, “Grab Elena and give her to me.” She pulled back and gave him a questioning look. He gave her a hard faced nod so she turned and looked at Elena who was still standing inside the house.

“Sorry in advance.” Katie said as she grabbed her and moved her out of the door. Elijah took her and whooshed away. Katie whooshed after them, keeping track of them with her link to Elijah since he was faster than her. When she caught up to them Elijah had found one of the tunnels that ran under the town, made a hole in the ground and put Elena inside. “So why did we just take her and put her in a random tunnel?”

“We are going to need the Salvatore’s assistance. Elena’s safety will be their motivation.” He answered as he pulled out his phone and called Rebekah. He informed her of what was going on and gave her the task of keeping an eye on Elena. “Some of your friends might die today. If you do not want to participate I will understand.” Elijah told her matter-of-factly.

“If I’m being completely honest I’m still in a bit of sock over the fact that your mother is trying to kill all of you and…I don’t like this.” She motioned to Elena in the ground and Rebekah who pulled up in Elijah’s car.

“Do you have another suggestion on how we should precede?” he asked with narrowed eyes.

“No and that’s the problem. I don’t want anyone to die today, but it seems there’s no way around it. So I’m going to participate and do everything I can to save everyone.” She told him and she saw a fleeting frown. “You would prefer me not to?” she asked and he nodded.

“You are aware that you can’t save everyone, right?” he asked seriously.

“I am fully aware, but that won’t stop me from trying.” She told him with a shrug of her shoulders. He pursed his lips and looked past her with a glare. “I’m pissing you off.”

“No, you are not.” he told her as he looked at her and placed his hand on her neck. “Things could get dangerous and I do not want to lose you again.” He told her solemnly.

“I’m not going anywhere.” She told him sternly. He was tucking her hair behind her ear with his middle finger when Rebekah got out of the car and walked over.

TVDTVDTVD

Elijah sat in the high back chair in the parlor of the boarding house while Katie stood behind him with her arms crossed over the back of it. “I couldn’t find her.” Stefan said as he walked through the front door and his eyes landed on Katie and Elijah then looked at Damon who was leaning on the archway that led into the parlor.

“They have Elena.” Damon told Stefan without looking at him.

“Actually Rebekah has her.” Katie corrected. “You can probably guess at all the screwed up ways Rebekah has imagined killing her.”

“So, if you want to save Elena’s life, I need you to help me stop my mother.” Elijah told them as he rubbed his thumb over his fingertips of his hand that rested on the arm rest of the chair.

“I’m a little embarrassed to admit, but when it comes to killing thousand year old resurrected witches…I’m a little rusty.” Damon told them with a sarcastic eye roll.

“Yes, unfortunately even when killed my mother doesn’t seem to want to stay dead. Not with the spirits of nature at her side.” Elijah told them.

“So what are we supposed to do?” Stefan asked as he walked down the two steps and into the parlor.

“The witches that released my mother, she’s drawing her power from their bloodline. That line needs to be broken.” He told them.

“Broken?” Stefan asked.

“Yeah, he means…” Damon said, then drew his pointer finger across his neck.

“You want us to kill them.” Stefan said more than asked.

“Actually I’ve been thinking. No one needs to permanently die.” Katie chipped in making Elijah look up over his shoulder at her since she hadn’t said anything to him about it. “Turn Bonnie’s mom. Turn a witch into a vampire and she’s no longer a witch. That should put a kink in the bloodline and cut off Esther’s power.” She walked around the chair to stand next to Elijah.

He gave her an impressed look. “That is extremely clever of you.” Katie just shrugged.

“Why don’t you two do it?” Damon asked.

“We would.” Elijah answered. “But we have absolutely no idea where they are. Besides, seeing one of us, they’d immediately know our intent.” He stood up and wrapped his arm around Katie’s waist. “They won’t expect to be harmed by the likes of you. In any case, you have until 6 minutes after 9 to find them.” Katie reached over and grabbed Elijah’s suit jacket off of the chair he had draped it over and handed it to him.

“Oh, how super specific of you.” Damon popped off.

“By 9:07 the moon will be full. My mother will have the power she needs to kill me and my family. If you do not stop her before then, Rebekah will kill Elena. So we all have our timeline.” Elijah told them as he walked over to stand not far away from them. “I suggest you get started.” He walked between them hitting both of their shoulders with his.

With him on his way out Katie walked over to stand close in front of Damon. “I’m sorry we took Elena. I don’t like it, but it’s the only thing that we knew would light a fire under your asses.” She placed her hand on Damon’s chest and looked him in the eyes that she once loved. “Please don’t let her take him from me.” Damon swallowed hard and gave her a nod. She dropped her hand and walked over to Elijah who was waiting for her at the door.

TVDTVDTVD

They had parked outside the grill where they knew Klaus and Kol were and were getting out of the car when Elijah fell to the ground with a groan. “Elijah?” Katie asked and whooshed around the car to see him turning blue grey. “Damn it Damon.” She growled to herself realizing that someone had daggered an original and Damon and Stefan were most likely behind it.

Katie and Klaus both heard a scuffle and whooshed at the same time almost colliding at the entrance of the alleyway beside the grill, but she saw him and came to a grinding halt while he went down to the ally and pulled the dagger out of Kol’s chest, threw Alaric into the wall then when Stefan came at Klaus, Katie whooshed down grabbed him by his neck and body slammed him into the ground so hard he was knocked out. “Hello there, Sweetheart.” Klaus greeted her as she turned around and whooshed to his side, glaring at Damon.

“I asked you for one thing. One thing, keep Esther from killing people I care about!” she yelled at him.

“What did you just say?” Klaus asked with a look between the two of them.

“Leave him.” Elijah’s voice from behind them made them turn to see Elijah standing at the top of the stairs that led up out of the ally. “We still need him.”

“What did mother do?” Klaus asked. “What did she do Elijah?”

Elijah stuck his hand in his coat pocket as he walked down the steps past Katie and Klaus to Damon and pulled his phone out. “You tell me where the witches are or I’ll have my sister kill Elena right now.”

Damon looked up at the clock tower. “You told me we had until after nine.”

“I’m sure Rebekah would be more than happy to start her work early.” Elijah pointed out.

“They’re at the witch massacre house.” He told them with a sigh.

“I should have guessed. That place is a witch juju hot spot.” Katie said with a sigh as she walked over to Stefan, picked him up and shoved him into Damon. “Hop to it and don’t screw it up this time.” She motioned him to the stairs and he whooshed off. With him gone and Kol starting to wake up Katie looked between Elijah and Klaus. “I’ll give you three a minute.” She entered the grill through the side door and to the bar where she grabbed a bottle of bourbon and a glass as she walked around the bar and sat down on a barstool.

She was a fourth of the way through the bottle when Elijah came in and took the bottle from her hand. “Would you mind doing me a favor?”

“Anything.” She told him as she slipped from the stool and stood up straight.

“Come with my brothers and me to stand against our mother.” He told her and she let her shock show on her face. She thought for sure that he would ask her to sit it out and let his family take care of family business.

Katie kissed him on his cheek. “Of course I’ll go with you.”

TVDTVDTVD

Katie held Elijah’s hand as she and the brothers walked up the hill to the house where a salt pentagram with a lit torch at each of the points had been drawn on the front lawn. “Katie, your presence here is highly disrespectful.” Esther pointed out. “This is a family affair.”

“Katie became my family the moment Fiona linked us, mother.” Elijah argued.

"Elijah, I find your attachment to this girl surprising. I would think that by now you would understand that any woman you love is fated to die." Esther told him.

"That’s why we’re linked." Katie spoke up.

"How many times do you think you can return from the dead before it starts to take a toll on your soul? There is a price to pay for cheating death. Nature always finds a balance." She told Katie who only glared back at her. Elijah pulled Katie into his side and Kol took a step closer to the salt circle.

“Stay beside me.” Finn told his mother as she walked into the circle.

“It’s okay. They can’t enter.” She said as Kol tried to enter and the torches flared.

“That’s lovely. We’re stuck out here while the favorite son plays sacrificial lamb.” Kol said. “How pathetic you are, Finn.”

“Be quiet Kol. Your brother knows virtue you can not even imagine.” Esther told him.

“Whatever you think of us killing your own children would be an atrocity.” Elijah told her with a glare.

“My only regret is that I did not let you die a thousand years ago.” Esther told them with a hard face.

“Enough, all this talk is boring me.” Klaus spoke up. “End this now, mother, or I’ll send you back to hell.” Katie looked at him to see an evil smirk on his face.

“For a thousand years, I’ve been forced to watch you, felt the pain of every victim, suffered while you shed blood. Even you, Elijah.” She turned her eyes to Elijah, “With your claim to nobility, you’re no better.” He shifted his weight on his feet and Katie gave his hand a squeeze that he returned. “All of you… You’re a curse on this earth stretched out over generations. If you’ve come to plead for your life, I’m sorry. You’ve wasted your time.”

They were all forced to watch as Esther closed her eyes and held her hands out to the side not long after she started working her spell the flames started misbehaving. “No.” Esther whispered. “Sisters, do not abandon me!” she yelled out but the torches spiked so high and hot that they all turned away and Elijah pulled Katie into him covering her with his jacket to keep her from the flames. When the torches went out they looked in the circle to see Finn and Esther gone.

TVDTVDTVD

Katie stood on Elena’s porch, a note from Elijah in her hand as she lifted it and rapped on the door with her knuckles. After a minute Elena opened the door. “Katie.” She said a bit shocked to see her.

“I think it’s time we had an actual talk.” Katie sighed. “One where I don’t yell at you.”

“What’s that?” Elena asked with a point to the cream colored envelope in Katie’s hand.

“A letter from Elijah.” She said as she held it out to her. “For once I wasn’t nosey. I don’t know what it says, but I know neither of us feel very good about how things went down today.”

Elena took it and stepped aside for Katie to come in. “Rebekah threatened to burn me alive.” She told her as Katie came in and Elena shut the door behind her.

“Like I said, we’re not happy about it.” she told her as Elena walked into the living room. “We both did things we’re not proud of. He used his sister like a weapon against you and I suggested that Damon and Stefan turn Bonnie’s mom.”

“What?” Elena asked with a shocked look.

“The only way to keep Esther from using Bennett magic was to break the Bennett line. So that meant one of them had to either die, or turn. At least this way Bonnie’s mom keeps breathing to see another day.” Katie told her as she walked over to the couch and sat down. “I didn’t get a chance to thank you for telling me about Esther’s plan.” She watched Elena sit down in the white armchair that sat adjacent to the couch. “Why did you?”

“Because I’ve hurt you enough and it’s time we stopped fighting. We’ve gotten into our fair share of fights over the years. This one’s by far the worst, but we always manage to work it out and move on.” she told her with a shake of her head.

"The key difference between this fight and all the others is even though we were fighting, we were still friends." Katie pointed out.

"Do you think we can be friends again?" Elena asked.

Katie shrugged, "I wish I could say yes and things could go back to how they used to be. But...no, I don't. You guys are always going to be looking for a way to kill Klaus and yeah, there was a time when I wanted him dead too, but that’s changed." Katie told her as she stood up. "We can't be friends, but I don’t want to hate you anymore either. It's exhausting if I'm being honest. I came here to thank you and apologize for what I've done. So, Thank you, I’m sorry and," she walked over to the door and pulled it open then turned and looked at Elena, "Goodnight."

Elena gave her a tight lipped smile and a nod. "Goodnight.

TVDTVDTVD

She stopped by her house and grabbed her school stuff then headed to the Mikaelson mansion. It was quiet when she walked in and she found Rebekah in the kitchen eating ice cream. “You got me hooked.” Rebekah pointed at her with the spoon in her hand and Katie gave her a small smile.

“Where is everyone?” Katie asked as she set her heavy bag on the counter.

“Elijah is waiting for you in your room and if I had to guess Nik is in his studio.” She answered. “Kol has fled.”

“I’m sorry things didn’t work out.” Katie told her then grabbed her bag and put the strap over her shoulder then headed up stairs. When she walked into the open door of her room she found Elijah sitting in the armchair in the corner. “What’s up?” she asked, feeling that something was off.

“We need to talk.” The four words made her heart plummet to the pit of her stomach.

“Nothing good ever comes from that sentence.” She said as she walked over and pulled the chair at her vanity out and sat down, putting her bag on the floor.

“I've been thinking about what my mother said." He started and the fact that he wasn't looking at her made a knot form in her stomach. "You have plans for your future, hopes, dreams, and if I am in your life you will never achieve them."

It suddenly felt as if the knot in her stomach formed painful spikes making tears pool in her eyes. "What are you saying?"

"I'm removing myself from your life. If I stay, you won't live long enough to have a life. I know that if you die you will come back, but how long will it be before you remember me and what kind of damage will it do to your soul?" He asked his face hard as he stood up from the armchair.

"You're leaving me?" Katie asked loudly as she stood up, the tears now slipping down her cheeks. He gave her a nod. "You let her get into your head. She's a liar, Elijah. Just because your history with women is tragic doesn't mean I'm fated to die."

"You have already died once because of me. I'm not going to let it happen again." He told her, his face still hard, as if he was putting on a face to keep from crying, but she could see the tears pooling in his eyes.

"You said you would never hurt me, that you would always love me." She sobbed pointing her finger at him accusingly.

"I don’t want to hurt you and I will always love you..." he placed his hand on her cheek, wiping at a tear with his thumb, "That is why I'm letting you go."

"Please don't leave me." She whispered as she nestled her cheek into his hand.

A tear slipped down his cheek, "I don’t want to, but I have to." He took a step closer to her and kissed her forehead then whispered, "Goodbye, my love." with a whoosh he was gone.

Her hands started shaking and she stumbled back until her legs hit the footboard of her bed and she sank down to sit on the floor as her body shook with sobs. Rebekah heard Katie’s heartbreaking cries and couldn't help going to her. When she saw her sitting on the floor with her arms wrapped around her knees she walked over, quietly sat down next to her and wrapped her arm around her shoulders. Katie was thankful to Rebekah. It felt like forever since someone had been there for her like that.

Eventually Katie quieted enough that Rebekah got her to get up off the floor and tucked her into bed. "There now..." Rebekah told her as she brushed her tear dampened hair out of her face, "get some rest." At that moment she didn't care that she felt like a child getting comforted by an adult. She was just glad Rebekah was there for her.

Rebekah walked over to the door and was about to turn the light off when Katie said, "Hey, Rebekah?" Rebekah turned and looked at her, "Thank you." Rebekah gave her a small smile and a nod.

She eventually fell asleep, but it didn’t last long before she woke up and looked at the clock on the wall to see that it was two in the morning. Knowing she wasn't going to get any more sleep she pulled herself from the bed and gathered some clothes and went to the bathroom.

After a cool shower she went down stairs to the kitchen where she grabbed a blood bag then started wandering around the house aimlessly. When she found a room with paintings on the walls, an easel with a blank canvas, and several drawings lying on a table she assumed she was in Klaus’s studio.

She was looking at the drawings on the table when she found one of her in her ball gown. Tears started slipping down her eyes again. "No tears on the artwork please." She heard Klaus say from the entrance of the room behind her. She wiped her face and finished off the blood bag in one go. She looked around the room and tossed the bag into a trash can that contained wadded up sketch pad paper. "I hate seeing you like this." He told her as he walked over to her then gently grabbed her chin in his hand and made her look up at him. "He has extinguished your fire." Her face twisted as she squeezed her eyes shut and started sobbing again.

Not knowing what else to do he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her into him. He was surprised when she wrapped her arms around his thin torso and nuzzled her face into his neck. With one smooth fast movement he picked her up bridal style and she wrapped her arms around his neck. He carried her back up to her room and laid her on the bed then lay down across from her.

"What's going on in that beautiful head of yours?" Klaus asked, but Katie just shook her head no. "Answer me sweetheart before I decide to bleed the vervain from your system and compel you to forget all about Elijah."

"How could he leave me?" She asked, his threat not even fazing her. "He waited a hundred and seventy one years to find me and he just… leaves?"

"How Elijah or any man for that matter could leave you is beyond me." He told her quietly. With a sigh she slid from the bed and grabbed her school bag and her car keys that were on the corner of the vanity. “Where are you going, Love?”

“My house.” She answered, sounding just as numb as she felt.

“I would prefer you stay here. At least for a few days.” He told her as he got up off the bed and walked over to her.

“You know what I would like?” she asked and he just blinked at her. “For people to stop hurting me. Just once, I want my emotions to not be a roller coaster ride.” She told him, talking with her hands. “I care too easily for people and regardless of what they say, people don’t care about me. If I stay here I’ll get attached to you and Rebekah even more than I already am and it will only hurt that much more when you leave too. Call it self preservation.” She told him then walked away.

[elavsmessymind]

Soft Touch ♡ Draco Malfoy ♡

Warnings: None (maybe one minor curse word?)

Word Count: 3.4k (sorry it’s a bit long...)

A/N: I literally spent all night writing this. I’ve been on the Draco side of tiktok for a while and was inspired by all of them, so I wrote this. This is my first non CNCO fic, and I’m nervous about it but also kind of excited?! Anyways, sorry for any misspellings, or typos. Please enjoy, and give me feedback. ((: p.s. I don’t own this gif.

It was almost nine at night and I was finishing some homework in the courtyard when I heard Draco’s dreading voice.

“How pathetic. Do you ever do anything else other than study?” he proclaims.

“Do you ever do anything else other than intrude other people’s life?” I responded.

He looked at me not expecting me to give him a snarky response. As he walked past me with his friends, he looked at me an irritating cheeky way. I ignored him, and tried not to pay him or his friends any attention. It was hard to do with their obnoxious laughter and abrasive comments about some of the other students. It was almost time for curfew so I started gathering my stuff so I can head to my house. Draco and his friends did the same, however, I saw Draco tell his friends something and they left without him. I avoided his gaze as best as I could and hurried for the exit, but he beat me to it and blocked my way. 

“Going to bed already?” he asked in an annoying tone.

“I thought I’d give it a try.” I said forcing a nice smile. He looked at me trying to find some words to say.

“Are you going to say something or just stare at me?” I tell him now a bit more impatiently.

“Wow it doesn’t take much to get under your skin, does it?” he said not getting the hint that I was very much annoyed right now.

“I was going to ask you… if umm...” he said scratching his head.

“If you could tutor me?” he asked hesitantly. I brought my hand up to my mouth as I sarcastically gasped.

“Draco Malfoy is asking me to help him with his studies? I feel… honored.” I tell him.

“Ha-ha.” He responds to my sarcasm.

“You should feel honored.” He states proudly. He stays quiet for only a second before continuing, “So, is that a yes?”

“No.” I stated as serious as I could. I tried making my way around him and through the exit, but he just made himself much stronger.

“Why not? You said it yourself, you should feel honored I’m asking you for help and letting you be anywhere near me.” He said proudly.

“You’re unbelievable. Are you so conceited that you don’t know what sarcasm is or are you just dumb?” I genuinely ask. He doesn’t respond. He just steps aside and lets me through.

“Thank you.” I say unemotionally. I make my way to my house and finally get some goodnight’s rest.

The next day in class, I take my spot between Hermione and my best friend. Hermione catches Draco stare at me as he enters the class and gives me a puzzled expression.

“Why did he look at you like that?” she asked.

“I don’t know.” I responded hoping she’d let it go. She’s not the gossipy type so I trust that she won’t ask again. My best friend on the other hand... Well, she knows everything about everyone. She doesn’t go around talking about people’s business with the whole school, but she always comes to me and Hermione with some story she heard from so-and-so. I hope she didn’t hear Hermione ask about Draco, and when she doesn’t mention it right after I shut Hermione down, I think she didn’t. However, halfway through class, she asks me about it.

“Shh, I’m trying to pay attention.” I tell her.

“Okay fine, but I’m not letting this go.” She whispers. I look at my notes and gulp nervously because I know she won’t. After what feels like hours, the bell finally rang and I pick my books and backpack up to go to my next class. I walk a bit faster hoping my best friend gets the hint and drops the subject, but she doesn’t.

“Thought it was that easy, didn’t you?” she tells me as she catches up to me.

“Well a girl can dream, can’t she?” I responded slyly.

“Why did he look at you like that?” she asked eagerly.

“You really aren’t going to let this go, are you?” I asked with a small smile.

“Nope.” She said as she put an arm around me and chuckled.

“Alright, fine. Can I tell you at lunch, though?” I ask. She nods with a smile on her face, and walks very excitedly to class with her arm still around me. We make our way to our seats and I dreadfully wait for lunch to come. At lunch, she doesn’t wait even a second after I sit down to ask me.

“Can you let me enjoy my lunch, first?” I joke.

“The longer you prolong answering my question, the more annoyed you’re going to get at me for asking.” She stated in a matter-of-factly attitude. Hermione looked at both of us with a very amusing face. I sit down and sigh.

“Fine, he asked me if I could tutor him.” I say trying to sound nonchalantly.

“Wait. Really? What did you tell him?” she asked me with big surprising eyes.

“He who?” Hermione asked.

“Draco.” I told her.

“Was he serious?” Hermione asked.

“Probably not. Why would he care about getting good grades when his daddy can just pay his way all the way up to graduation?” I admitted.

“Damn, so I’m guessing you told him no?” my best friend said. I tilted my head a bit sideways and raised my eyebrow. All three of us laughed for a while about the situation.

“Maybe you should.” Hermione finally said after our laughter winded down.

Perplexed, I responded, “why? It’s not like he needs it.”

“I agree. We all know the way Draco is. What if this is part of a prank or something?” my best friend stated, siding with me.

“I don’t think so. Draco isn’t the type to plan out long elaborate pranks. If he wanted to prank her, he would’ve done it already.” Hermione told her.

“It doesn’t matter. I already told him no, and I don’t think he’s the type to ask twice for something.” I told both of them.

“But listen, what if you could do more for him than just tutor him?” Hermione asked looking at me.

“What like turn him into a nice decent human being?” I said fighting back a laugh.

“Tutoring him won’t change the way he is, Hermione. He is extremely vain and full of himself. You know what he told me? He said I should feel honored that he’s allowing me to be in his presence. As if!” I exasperatedly said.

“People like him don’t change. They think they have some kind of privilege and are above everyone else. I can’t stand his ‘I’m better than everyone’ attitude. If he really wants to get tutored, he should look for someone else, because I’m not going to waste my time on him.” I protested, finishing my rant. They both look at me with blank faces.

“What?” I ask a little bit annoyed. They don’t say anything. They just keep looking behind me. I turn around and see Draco already walking away from our table. I feel bad that he overheard what I said, but then I remember that he’s Draco and what I say can’t possibly hurt his ego.

“Maybe you were a little too harsh.” Hermione mumbles quietly.

“Harsh? Please, Draco can’t actually feel offended by her opinion.” My best friend tells her as if reading my mind.

“Can we just finish our lunch, and forget about it?” I reply.

Later that night, I skip dinner and go up to the rooftop to study a little bit. After a couple hours alone, the rooftop door opens. I turn around to see who it is, and to my amazement it’s the one and only Draco Malfoy. ‘Just my luck.’ I thought.

“Is this sit taken?” he asks, walking to the empty spot next to me.

“No, go ahead.” I tell him going back to studying. We sit there for a few minutes without saying anything. I steal glazes of him, and start feeling bad for what he had heard me say during lunch. I sigh and close my book and journal.

“I’m sorry.” I tell him as I look at the night sky. He looks at me confused.

“For what you heard me say. I shouldn’t have said it at all, and I’m sorry.” I finish.

“Don’t be.” He says shaking his head.

“To be honest, I think I deserve much worse than what you said.” He confesses as he looks at me. Now I’m the one who looks at him confused.

“Well regardless. That’s not the type of person I am and I don’t want to be.” I reply looking at him. He looks taken aback by my response.

“What are you studying for now?” He asks trying to change the subject.

“Oh, umm… nothing from here. Some friends from back home sent me the book they’re studying in English class.” I respond.

“English class?” he repeats.

“Yes, this is the book they’re suppose to read for this semester. Before going on Christmas break, they are each to turn in a 5-page essay on it.” I clarify for him.

“Semester?” he repeats after me again.

“I thought you knew.” I say slowly.

“I come from a muggle family.” I quietly tell him. He just looks at me with a shocking expression.

“I honestly thought you knew. I thought that’s why you were giving me a hard time.” I continue.

“I- umm… I didn’t know.” He answers. We just sit there in silence. My mind starts wondering off into an anxious state of mind thinking that he might use this against me, or tell everyone and throw it in my face later. I’m taken out of these thoughts when Draco speaks up again.

“Can I stay here with you while you finish the book?” he looks at me with a soft expression.

“Yeah, that’d be nice.” I tell him as I give him a small smile. He lays by my side as I continue reading and making notes. After about half an hour of peaceful quiet, Crabbe and Goyle bust through the rooftop door. Once Draco sees them, he’s whole attitude changes. The soft kind expression he once possessed is now taken over by his natural serious/ mean face. He gets up and shouts at me, “You really thought that was going to work? As if someone of my stature will ever be with someone like you. Don’t mistake my niceties as any kind of flirtatious behavior.” I look at him stunned at how quickly he can go from being tolerable to a complete ass.

“Don’t worry, that’s a mistake I’ll never make.” I responded trying to sound as complacent as possible. Hoping that he couldn’t see the hurt on my face. I got my book and journal and walked away from him and his dull-witted friends. As I make my way to my house, I can’t help but laugh to myself at what just happened. ‘Why am I surprised? I always knew he was a pain, but acting as if I wanted to be with him on a romantic level in front of his friends? Ha! Get a grip. Telling me that someone of his ‘stature’ couldn’t possibly be with someone like me? Please. As if someone like me would ever give him a chance. And niceties? When has he ever been nice to me or to anyone? That boy really needs some therapy.’ I think to myself.

Days later, I’m outside enjoying some sunshine, when Draco comes sits next to me.

“I’m so sorry about the other day.” He says as soon as he sits down.

“Go away.” I tell him rolling my eyes. I wasn’t hurt or mad anymore, I just don’t want anything to do with him.

“Let me explain.” He tries again.

“No, I don’t want to hear it Draco. What you say and what you do are two different things.” I say refusing to look at him. I sneak a glance while he isn’t looking at me, and see a hurt expression on his face. He shuffles in his seat debating on whether or not to try again or leave. Before he makes a decision, I tell him, “You know what your problem is, you are so full of yourself. You think people like me or others who aren’t at your ‘stature’ owe you something when you haven’t earned anything from us. I don’t know why you act so rude and obnoxious in front of others, and then when you’re alone with me you act like you have real human feelings. I don’t know which Draco is the real Draco, but I suggest you figure it out and fast because by the time you do you might not have anyone by your side.” By the time I end my second Draco rant, this time to his face, I’m staring at him. I look away and close my eyes to continue enjoying my time in the sun, hoping he gets the hint that I’m done talking and done listening.

“Hey, thought you might be hungry so I brought you some food.” My best friend says as she sits down on the other side of me.

“Thank you, I was a little hungry.” I say laughing softly. She looks to my opposite side and asks, “Is Draco hanging out with us today?”

“No.” I say turning to face him, surprised he’s still here.

“He was just leaving.” I state looking him straight into his eyes. He gets up and leaves without saying another word.

“What was that all about?” she asks with some hope in her voice.

“Nothing, that you need to worry about.” I tell her. “thank you for the food.” I say trying to change the subject. She smiles at me in response, understanding that this time, I don’t want to talk about it.

That same night as another friend and I were departing ways outside the library, Draco pops out of nowhere.

“Oh my- how are you everywhere? Don’t you ever have anywhere to be?” I slightly shout at him for the mini heart attack he gave me.

“Can we talk?” he asks me in a serious tone.

“Draco, I can’t do this right now. I’m tired and all I want to do is go to bed.” I tell him.

“Please, I really want to explain myself for the other night.” He keeps trying.

“I don’t have time for this. I heard you earlier, you’re sorry. I get it, goodnight.” I say more desperately trying to walk away from him. He blocks my every move, and with every no he just looks at me like a starving puppy who has been rejected of some food.

“Draco let me through.” I demanded getting tired of whatever this was.

“It’s way past curfew, and quite frankly, I don’t mind getting caught, I just don’t want to get caught with you.” I admit trying to go around him once more.

“Dammit, please just give me a second.” He yells at me.

“That’s how you try getting a girl’s attention?” I yell back.

“I’m sorry, but you’re not listening.” He tries to sound calmly.

“You want me to listen? Then try being a decent human being.” I declared. I can see some pain in his eyes, but I push that aside because now I’m getting upset. He moves him hand to grab my arm in a way to tell me ‘sorry for yelling.’

“Don’t.” I mumbled. “Someone may catch you being nice to another person.” I added. He dropped his hand to his side, and sighs as he looks to the ground.

“I’ve ruined it haven’t I?” he asks in almost a whisper.

“Ruined what?” I implore. Hoping he finally tells me what’s on his mind

“Nothing.” He responds as he starts walking away from me.

“Really? That’s it? All I had to say was ‘try being nice’ and you go running? I should’ve told you that a long time ago.” I yell at him infuriated at how easy he walks away from things.

“I don’t know what you want me to do or say.” He confesses desperately turning to face me.

“I want you to stand up for yourself. I want you to be brave enough to be that nice guy from the rooftop. I want you to be the guy I know you could be. Not this self-absorbed prick who everyone thinks you are.” I tell him as I walk closer to him.

“You’ve shown me that you can be compassionate and kind. You don’t have to go through an identity battle to decide who to be. Just be the person that makes you happy.” I catch his gaze but he looks down. Maybe in an ashamed way.

“What? You don’t want people knowing you have a heart? Or you don’t want to be seen hanging out with me?” I ask him not wanting to know the answer. I haven’t told anyone about what happened in the rooftop because then I’d be forced to talk about these feelings I keep pushing away. But if I’m being honest with myself, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the Draco I hung out with that night. I came to a conclusion that he probably just needs someone to give him a chance, but a person can only give so many chances.

“No… it’s not that.” He replies still not meeting my eyes.

“Then what is it, Draco? You don’t think I’m also running a risk of being the school’s gossip for hanging out with you?” I stated as nicely as I could.

“Show me that you’re worth that risk. Prove it to me, and I’ll be the person you need me to be.” I cried out. We both stayed silent for a while.

“Draco, please say something.” I begged him. Nothing.

“Fine,” I sighed, “I need to go.” I stay a few more seconds giving him a chance to say something. I finally give up and walk past him. He gently grabs my arm and makes me face him. He finally looks into my eyes. I want to look away, but his eyes are hypnotizing. He lets go of my arm and turns his body towards me so that he is facing me completely. I get nervous and look down at the ground. He picks my head up slightly so that we make eye contact once again. He looks down at my lips and then back at my eyes. His hand moves to caress my face, and his other hand rests on my waist. As he’s leaning in, I whisper his name.

“Can I?” he asks me before making any other movement.

I look into his eyes and very lightly nod my head not wanting him to let me go. I close my eyes as he gets closer, and feel his soft cold lips rub against my lips. Both of us take our time to enjoy this moment. He breathes out delicately before finally kissing me. I’m taken aback by how perfectly his lips intertwine with mine. It seems to last for eternity. He lets go just for a moment to catch his breath. He leans his forehead on mine, and opens his eyes to look at me. I keep my eyes close trying to take in what just happened. Not wanting to ruin the moment by overthinking, I allow myself to be present and open my eyes. I see Draco staring at me with a small smile. I let out a mellow laugh and he response with a full grinned smile. We stay like this for a few minutes, until I sadly told him that I really have to go. Without taking his eyes off of me, he whispers okay. Neither of us move to do what we just agreed to do. If it was possible to stay in this moment forever, I would and I’d bet my life that Draco feels the same way. Finally, we break away, when we hear a door slam and footsteps not far away from the hallway we’re in. We both look at the direction of the noise and then back at each other. Without saying anything, Draco grabs my face and kisses me one last time before telling me goodnight. He grabs my hand and quietly says, “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” He kisses my cheek tenderly and then walks away. I stay where I am completely perplexed at what just happened. I bring my hand up to my lips and then my cheek and shyly smile to myself. ‘Who would’ve thought,’ I think to myself.

[thewatsonbeekeepers]

Chapter 10 – Oh No Love, You’re Not Alone [TLD 2/2]

[A line from Rock’n’Roll Suicide, which titles the previous chapter – listen here! X Possibly Bowie’s best song.]

This chapter aims to break down the infamous hug scene step by step – I couldn’t handle this scene for a long time, Mary and Irene seriously breaking with the otherwise reasonably coherent series, but I have a reading. This reading is complicated in that it relies – like this whole meta series – on every character in the scene being a part of Sherlock. This is obviously sad because it means that our boys don’t come together in one of the only moments of physical affection they’ve been allowed in the last ten years, but bear with it. There are three important symbols we need to know going into this scene: our three main characters. The grounding of this meta series is that, within the EMP, Sherlock is our eyes, the part of his brain that is consciously navigating the subconscious and trying to make sense of it. John represents his heart, normally in antithesis with Mycroft as the brain, but in TLD really taking centre stage himself. To get a handle on Mary, I refer you back to my TST metas [XX]; TLDR, at the end of TST Sherlock stages Mary’s assassination attempt on himself via Norbury, only to replace himself with Mary at the last second because he cannot cope with the implication that it is the loss of him that has made John suicidal. To be colloquial, then, Mary is comphet – which is essentially her function in every Sherlock Holmes adaptation anyway, but you know. Thinking about Mary in terms of comphet is useful particularly in terms of her obsession with Sherlock wearing the hat which dogs the end of this episode, and which for many spoiled this scene the first time around (i.e. me). Wearing the hat is a euphemism in tjlc for masking one’s sexuality, drawing on the Victorian phrase ‘a hat of someone else’s choosing’ X – Sherlock’s throwing off of the hat was so momentous in TAB that many of us were reluctant to see it brought up again. However, this all makes sense.

Before we take this scene from the top, I feel the need to say that someone has brought me tea in a glass, by pure coincidence. I feel this is a good omen.

The scene opens talking about Eurus!Faith, and one of the first possibilities touted is that Sherlock made up a dream woman who gave him all the info he needed. Not subtle – although Eurus has other purposes in the narrative which become very important, she does also kick the narrative along quite nicely here. However, as mentioned in the previous chapter, she’s not the only character who does – think of the random comments that allow Sherlock to piece together ‘everyone’, despite having nothing to do with the case. So what our boys are saying about Eurus!Faith, if we think about it in the context of the episode, instead of just her, points to the artificiality that is casting such a massive shadow right now. John’s ‘magic dream woman’ comment comes straight after Sherlock talking about being able to predict anything – undermining the entire basis of the episode as magic and dreamlike, so we know where we stand. Sherlock is only experiencing all of this semi-lucidly – kind of like TAB – so it’s up to his heart to try to get him to twig it I suppose.

Sherlock then suggests that Eurus!Faith was a hallucination brought on by drugs, in keeping with the theme of the episode, but also with our own themes. Drugs are used to cover up one’s true sexuality, and Eurus up until this point has only been used in her various disguises to veil Sherlock’s desires as heterosexual, so in that sense she is linked to the mirage that drugs can cause. Heart!John’s response is to keep Sherlock off the ‘sweeties’, which is a good sign for us – the more we fixate on the sober region of Sherlock’s brain, the more we’re in the place where he can’t hide from who he is, and his heart is pushing him there.

It seems that comphet!Mary is the one pushing Sherlock to talk to his heart here, which might raise questions, but as we’ll see one of the first things she tells heart!John to do is to ‘make him wear the hat’ – everything she says is fitting in with the paradigm of Sherlock Holmes that the heart cannot cope with and needs to leave behind. Mary also suggests that Sherlock should wear the hat to her as a tribute, because she’s dead. I like to read this as the weird sense that we should be respectful of old classics, as though queering them is somehow disrespectful – this gets thrown up a lot in relation to Sherlock Holmes. One time it really got thrown up though was in the making of TPLoSH – the reason it’s not more explicit is because the Conan Doyle estate didn’t want Wilder to damage ACD’s legacy. The necessity for comphet of the Victorian era is dead and gone, but we still consistently pay tribute to it in our culture.

Sherlock keeps mentioning Culverton’s confessions, which we’ve talked about in the last chapter – but in this world of mirrors, he’s unable to map them onto himself perfectly yet. It’s the same thing as Eurus heterosexualising his interactions – we’re working in a world of mirrors and proxies, because the reality of queerness is so off limits in his mind.

Then we get the text alert. Irene Adler has long been established within the mind palace as a symbol of Sherlock’s sexual desire. So, at the end of this, as Sherlock is about to neglect his heart and let it descend out of Baker Street, we get this sudden cry of sexuality – and the heart turns back. Comphet!Mary, through the hat linked to conventional storytelling metatextually propelling Sherlock’s comphet well into the 21st century, immediately jumps to the conclusion that Sherlock loves Irene Adler. There are several reasons why this is absolutely wrong. Firstly, we are dealing entirely in symbolic people here, so why Irene would suddenly be a real person instead of a metaphor is tonally dubious. Secondly, Irene is a long established metaphor for sexuality anyway. But thirdly, and most importantly – this scene, which revolves around the Irene Adler text alert, is the beating heart of the episode and arguably the entire series. For Irene Adler to be referenced once more in the series, in a minor line, suggests that she is not the actual focus. It’s about what’s going on within Sherlock.

[A side note: Mary’s exposition in this scene makes me cringe – I hope I’m not the only one? But if you will set up a complex network of metaphors and then leave several years between series, maybe you need that.]

John then deduces that it’s Sherlock’s birthday – again, reasonably unbelievable that he wouldn’t know this, given that Mummy and Daddy Holmes would definitely have made a big deal of it. It’s difficult to know for sure what the birthday symbolises, but John saying he has always wanted to know it might make us remember Sherlock actually seeking out John’s birth certificate to find the name Hamish on it. This meta [X] explains why this represents hiding a part of ourselves that is essential – i.e., from birth – which would fit the concept of the birthday. However, this may be tenuous.

Heart!John’s outburst at the discovery of Sherlock’s sexual desire – not necessarily how it is directed, but that it exists – is basically: well, what do you do about it? Why don’t I know about this? It is incredible that Sherlock has managed to compartmentalise this from his heart for so long, but that’s the pro of having an incredibly intricate mind palace I suppose. The Harvester in High Wycombe situation is sex without strings attached – I think the veiled suggestion here is masturbation, because Sherlock has refused the heart any involvement in it, but Sherlock denies the suggestion. The level at which heart!John is losing it is desperate, and the idea that ‘High Wycombe is better than you are currently equipped to understand’ suggests an affection starvation of epic proportions. I had problems with John’s claim that romantic entanglement would complete Sherlock as a human being (Sherlock being ace is a common reading, often touted by the writers themselves, and whilst I don’t subscribe to the theory such a statement plays into a pretty harmful narrative about ace people). The line is still dubious when said by heart!John because of the wider narrative it plays into, but spoken by Sherlock’s heart to himself does suggest that Sherlock’s denial of his sexuality has been crippling him.

The idea that comphet!Mary sent heart!John back to Sherlock is a difficult one – there are two warring versions of Sherlock’s heart here, and comphet!Mary’s idea of heterosexuality (posh boy and dominatrix, even whilst metatextually acknowledging that it’s a boring cliché) does require the unity of Sherlock and his heart, just in a way that isn’t possible. However, another possible reading about letting Sherlock die without comphet!Mary might take us back to TST – the hypothesis assassination when comphet!Mary took the bullet for Sherlock at the last second admittedly slowed down Sherlock’s analytical processes, but it’s quite possible that his heart wasn’t ready for it, that the heart wouldn’t have let him realise it and Sherlock would actually have died in the mind palace. His heart was too afraid to show up – which, true or not, is echoed in the idea that heart!John wasn’t there when Sherlock/Mary were shot by Norbury, but attending to heteronormative domesticity (sorry Rosie). It’s also devastating that the heart wants to be the Sherlock Holmes of the stories still – and we’re breaking through, but it’s TFP which will finally push through that, not this scene.

Heart!John’s admission of cheating here is vital. Eurus as mirror for John has long been discussed, and as we’ve seen in a previous chapter (X) she takes on a female form to give Sherlock’s desires an acceptable outlet – but here we have an acknowledgement from heart!John that he betrayed comphet!Mary in his texting of Eurus. The texting is made to parallel Sherlock’s own engagement with his sexuality in terms of Irene – he’s later revealed to have texted her too. Whether that just suggests merely thoughts or masturbation (or something else?) I don’t know, but the parallel suggests that such engagement with his sexuality is the same as heart!John’s covert engagement with gay trauma Eurus – in other word, both romantic and sexual illicit desires have been acknowledged, and have existed simultaneously though compartmentalised. We can see the paralleling of heart!John’s romantic desires with Sherlock’s sexual desires in moments like when heart!John admits that he still wants more – the camera focuses on Sherlock, who looks at heart!John like a moment of realisation (possibly because he’s recognising the form his heart has taken – that’s the headcanon).

But this is not a happy scene. Heart!John declares that he has never been capable of comphet, but that he wants it, and comphet!Mary tells him to get the hell on with it – taking special emphasis to call him John Watson. There’s no Hamish here, which in a conversation begun on birthdays might make us worry, but crucially calling him John Watson rather than John is a link back to the original stories, when we know that using just first names is a big indicator of the modernity (read queerness) of the adaptation, not least in the EMP (see TAB). Comphet!Mary’s heterosexual compulsion is thus still going strong based on the historical stories. And what’s sad here is that the impulses are acknowledged! Sherlock not only acknowledges his sexual desire but even that he acts on it (the texts), and heart!John acknowledges his romantic attraction, and where they had been compartmentalised the hug as a moment of unity tells us that Sherlock has joined those dots, acknowledges his existence as a romantic and sexual being. And then – he puts the hat on, he still needs a high of some description to cope with his birthday. I believe that Sherlock’s acknowledgement of Mary’s ghost at the end, previously visible only to John, is a new recognition of the compulsory heterosexuality that his heart has been grappling with – but he puts on that hat in order to capitulate to it. (Never fear, the hat is coming off later).

The hat wearing comes in a separate scene, in terms of framing, to the official hug scene, although logically they must happen within 20 minutes of each other in the same room. [I am resisting the urge to make a crack joke about what happened in the interim. I’m sure there’s something on AO3 about it.] It’s a horrible addendum, because heart!John has just confessed his biggest secret, and Sherlock acknowledges it – but then immediately downplays it. Just texting. In superficial terms, this downplaying is personally not what I would want from a friend – in metaphorical terms, it’s deadly. It’s a subtle undermining of the entire previous scene. We can see that the wall hasn’t been broken through, that he’s still chickened at the last second (much like at the end of TST) in other ways – he still has the appearance of drugged Sherlock, in particular the facial hair, which is used to reference bearding typically in the show. I also maintain – though others may take issue with this – that Cumberbatch’s gait changes when he plays a high Sherlock, and although ostensibly not high here that slightly clumsy gait remains the same. It is not a good vibe. And then, the final shot of this scene isn’t one of acceptance or closure. After Sherlock acknowledges Mary’s presence, the look on Martin Freeman’s face is one of quiet but terrible sadness, as well as anxiety.

A final thought before I leave this scene, having discussed what happens at the end of TLD in a different chapter – it’s worth noting that Sherlock has a mug of an unspecified hot drink throughout this scene, but it’s left ambiguous whether it’s coffee or tea. (Yes, it could be something else, but given the heavy focus on coffee and tea earlier in the episode, along with the pre-established drinks code, we can assume.) This ambiguity, I think, is deliberate – it allows Sherlock to acknowledge desire but still mask it through vagueness and ambiguity. It’s a way of lying to himself – and goodness knows we’re all capable of that, and can probably see how such a fudge might apply to a mental analysis of such a situation. I’d love to hear others’ thoughts on this scene though – do let me know! Until next time.

[shewritestheblues]

the Elevator Bae - 13

Chapter Thirteen

Erik Stevens x Black OC (Phoenix) 

A/N: This series is almost to its end. I will be ending with Chapter 15. Thank You so much to everyone who has read and shared this story. I adore all of you soooooo much :)

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How did two months go by so fast? Tour was coming to an end and It was bittersweet for Phoenix. She was able to finally see just how many people enjoyed her music and travel alongside one of her greatest friends but she missed Luna. She missed Erik? That’s been the confusing part. She didn’t really miss him but seeing how he’s been with Luna has warmed her heart. He’s been sending her videos and pictures daily. His bright smile seems to light up her world when she FaceTimes him to see Luna.

The closer she’s been getting to the last performing date, the more her anxiety has been surfacing. Since Erik’s been back, it was dropping Luna off because she had rehearsals and meetings and then tour. (A week during tour, Erik flew in to Detroit for Phoenix to have Luna while she visited family and he was on his way back to LA.) Their only interactions have been for Luna and they were good with that. She was good with that. There wasn’t any time for anything else. But soon, the tour will be over and she’ll be taking some time from work. Will things change? Have they already started to change?

Phoenix knew she was sure that this is what she wanted. For them to only focus on their daughter. All of these thoughts were swimming through her pool of a mind. Currently sitting in her hotel room, reading the comments under Erik’s latest IG upload weren’t helping. He just posted a picture of him and Luna while they were out. He had taken her shopping with him and snapped a picture of them in the dressing room mirror. It was the cutest picture. Luna looked unbothered while looking at the phone through the mirror. This kid had so many moods to be new here. Phoenix’s mom joked that Luna’s been here before.

Phoenix found herself smiling at the caption.

‘Luna ain’t having it with you hoes today.’

Erik’s captions were always… very Erik. And the comments full of women that Phoenix assumed were from Erik’s past or women who dreamed of being a part of his future.

‘She’s beautiful Erik.’

‘I still can’t believe Erik Stevens is somebody’s daddy.’

‘Lol, she’s so cute. Does she need a brother?’

‘Damn E. You make beautiful babies.’

‘Call me, E. 😘’

Phoenix wasn’t jealous. He was single. This was her decision. But sometimes, she hoped he would post something about her. Well, you know, because she is Luna’s mother of course. Maybe a shoutout?

No, no. She caught herself. She didn’t actually need that. Everyone following Erik knew who Luna’s mother was. Phoenix was fine. She. Was. Fine. These feelings? These thoughts? They will pass. So, she exited the app. It was time for rest and rest is definitely what Phoenix needed.

—————

Everything was… okay! Phoenix had worked herself up and things between her and Erik were good. They had the perfect schedule since she’s been back home. Erik would have Luna every other weekend. He’d come over to spend time with her during his ‘off days.’ They’d joke like old times. Even Ava had warmed back up to Erik. Of course things could never be what they used to be but this was a good start to making their situation feel somewhat normal.

“So tell me Phoenix, how has your transition back home been?” Dr. McKee wasted no time. She was eager to hear how Phoenix had been managing on her own.

Phoenix didn’t go back to therapy right away when she came back home. She figured she would take some time to test the waters and see if she would handle things with the methods she’s learned.

Releasing a deep breath, “Everything is good.” Phoenix finally says. “I’m happy.”

A genuine smile grew onto Dr. McKee’s face. “That’s amazing Phoenix. I’m honestly so proud of you.”

“Thanks. I’m proud of myself too.”

“So,” Dr. McKee paused, “What made you want to come in today?”

“I don’t know what to do with myself. I’m supposed to be using this time off to relax but I can’t. I feel like I should be doing something. Too much down time makes me think and when I think, I overthink. When I overthink, I get antsy. Then I feel anxious. Which only leads to a panic attack. I just don’t know what to do with this energy.” Phoenix stops herself to take a deep, calculated breath.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Did I make the right choice— No! I know that I did but…” Phoenix trails off.

“But what?”

“Luna loves him so much. The way she lights up when she sees him. She deserves to be that happy every day. I want her to feel what I feel. I’m happy.”

“Sounds like you’re trying to convince someone of that.”

The way Phoenix rolled her neck, she felt offended. How dare her own therapist insult her like this? Phoenix was happy! She didn’t have to convince anyone. She rolled her eyes at the idea. The nerve of this highly educated woman.

“I’m not trying to upset you Phoenix. I’m just trying to understand.”

“So are you saying I don’t make any sense right now?” Phoenix snapped back.

Cool, calm and collected, Dr. McKee blinks, “I’m not saying that at all. You make perfect sense. I just want you to share as much as you can so we can get to the root of what brought you here today.”

Phoenix closed her eyes and chewed on her lip. She internally chastised herself for being snappy. “It’s just,” she slowly began, “the way he looks at me with those puppy dog eyes. Even when he’s laughing, his eyes are saying something else. Like… he’s trying to slowly drown me. When he looks at me, his eyes linger like they’re trying to get me to catch on to something.”

Phoenix opens her eyes and focuses on the floor. “I’m not changing my mind. He’s always been a smooth operator but unfortunately for him, I know that. He doesn’t get to come around and make me feel guilty for choosing what’s right for my baby.” Phoenix paused. “Our baby.” She whispered that last part.

Dr. McKee takes some notes. She opens her mouth to speak but Phoenix beats her to it.

“I understand. I really do. Erik wants to give Luna the family experience. I want that for her too. But the family we’ve all created for her is fine.”

“I agree, Phoenix. So many of us get caught up in the idea of a traditional family. But family is whoever loves you unconditionally. From what I know, you, Erik, Coby, Ava and the entire tribe you guys have around you love Luna beyond this world. That’s more than enough. You’re a great mom. Great moms make tough decisions every day, but great moms also know each decision is for the greater good of their family.”

Phoenix smiles. It feels good to hear that someone sees you and your hard work and the sacrifices for what they are. Dr. McKee was right. They may not be the traditional family, but Luna is still surrounded by a loving tribe that is unique to her.

“But,” Dr. McKee continues, “you can’t attach yourself to Erik and what he may be feeling about this. You’ve made yourself clear what you wanted. You’re happy and Luna’s happy. There’s no need to ruffle anymore feathers here.”

Dr. McKee turns to her laptop and begins typing away on her keyboard. After a few clicks, she turns to Phoenix again.

“I’ve emailed you a list of things that could help you during your free time. I want you relax and enjoy this time off as best as you can before it’s time to get back to work. You deserve it.”

“I’m going to my best.”

—————

Phoenix wasn’t in a rush to leave the parking lot of Dr. McKee’s office after her session. She sat in her car going over the list in her email.

Ways to Relax Your Brain:

-Workout.

-Take an art class.

-Plant a Garden.

-Read some good books.

-Get out in Nature.

Phoenix wasn’t gifted with a green thumb, so gardening was out of the question. She works out pretty consistently, but it hasn’t worked out with calming her thoughts so that one is scratched off. Art class felt like work and books? She’s read every book that resides in Coby’s house. She was tired of reading. Looks like getting out in Nature would be worth a shot.

She’s always loved the beach but she couldn’t remember the last time she’s been to a beach.

—————

Phoenix found herself in a very familiar spot. A picnic table on the beach, watching the beach goers enjoy themselves. The waves look beautiful as they rolled in onto the sand. The sounds of splashing seemed more soothing than Phoenix ever realized. Time seemed to be passing so slow. Everything in the world has come to a calming pause. Her mind wasn’t racing. Her heart wasn’t pounding. Tranquility was all Phoenix could come up with to describe this feeling. She had no worries, no fears, no anxiety.

The sounds of an ice cream truck moving through the parking lot near her, caught her ear. The thought of eating something sweet without her infant bullying her into sharing seemed like a great win. She stood from her seat and seemingly floated to the truck.

“Hello, what can I get you?” the older man inside the truck said with a contagious smile.

“Um,” she tapped her chin with her index finger, “I’ll go with chocolate on a waffle cone.”

“Coming up.”

Moments later, Phoenix exchanges her money for the ice cream cone and travels back to her spot at the picnic table. She picked up where she left off admiring all that surrounds her. She ate her ice cream with a pleased smile pinching at her cheeks.

The small vibration of her phone pulled her from her trance. Erik is facetiming her. She assumed he was calling to see Luna so she swiped to answer the call.

“Hey, E. I’m not with Luna right now.”

“That’s cool. I called to talk to you.”

“Oh, um, okay. What’s up?” This made her suspicious.

“The Outreach Center will be opening this Friday. We’re doing a whole big thing and uh, I wanted to invite you if you aren’t busy. Shuri told me that if I didn’t call you right now, she would never talk to me again.”

Phoenix was mid bite into her cone and almost dropped it from laughter. “Well, you know I have nothing to do. Tell Shuri that me and Luna will be there.”

“Alright.” Erik paused, eyeing Phoenix’s background through the phone. “Aye! You’re at the beach?”

“Yeah. I just needed a moment. Needed to get out of the house, I guess.”

“Everything’s alright?” His words were soft, genuine.

“Yeah, yeah. Everything is good.”

Erik didn’t believe her. He could tell something was bothering her but he didn’t want to push her. That wasn’t his place. Well not anymore at least.

“Well you know, no matter what, you can always come to me.”

“Yeah, E. I know.”

“Alright, I have some shit to get done before Friday. I’ll let you get back to your me time. I’ll text the details later.”

“K…”

“Kiss my baby for me when you get back home please.”

“I will.”

The call ends and Phoenix is frozen. Erik calls her while she’s sitting in the very spot he’d taken her when he needed to clear his mind. This use to be their spot. Her peace was broken then. Erik was everywhere. Even when he wasn’t there. She looked around and threw in the towel. Her time here was up. She finished her ice cream cone on her walk back to her car. She was ready to get back home to get her daughter.

---------------

The week had flown by. Phoenix was just sitting on Dr. McKee’s couch. She was just at the beach. But now, it was opening day for the Outreach Center. Phoenix couldn’t understand why she was feeling so nervous. She had this gut feeling that something was off. Her and Erik were good. She loved T’Challa, Shuri and Queen Mother and they all adored her. She wrecked her brain trying to come up with an answer.

Phoenix called her mom. She would understand and maybe help her with her feelings.

“Something just doesn’t feel right, Ma.” Phoenix props the phone up on her dresser while she gets Luna dressed.

“That’s your intuition, baby. If you feel like something ain’t right, it’s because something ain’t right.”

“But I don't know what it is. It’s driving insane.”

“The only way to find out is to go and face whatever it is.”

Phoenix finishes dressing Luna. She places her in her bouncer in front of the phone so that Luna can see her grandmother on FaceTime.

“Hey baby girl.” Phoenix’s mom dotes on the bouncing baby. “You’re looking more and more like your grandma everyday.”

Phoenix cuts her eye at the phone. “She looks like her dad.”

Phoenix catches her mom rolling her eyes.

“You can’t hate him forever, Ma. He’s going to be around for a long time.”

“I don’t hate him. I just think he’s stupid. Maybe if he pays for a round trip for me to go to Wakanda, I’ll forgive him.”

“Mom!”

“Those are my terms Phoenix and I ain’t changing them. Ain’t that right Lulu? Tell your stupid ass daddy to send me to Wakanda.”

“Alright Luna,” Phoenix picks Luna up, “Your grandma is on all bullshit today.”

“Hey! What your mouth around my grandbaby.”

In disbelief, Phoenix looks at the camera, “But you just said a bad word.”

“Ass isn’t a bad word.”

“Okay, ma. Whatever you say. We have to go so I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Alright. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

----------------

Phoenix was roaming the large, empty halls of the Outreach Center. She had been inside multiple times while dropping off Luna to Erik or picking her up. She had checked Erik’s office, looking for him but he was nowhere to be found. She was making her way back outside when she sees Shuri. 

“Shuri!” Phoenix stops her, “Have you seen Erik?”

“Philly! I’m so happy you’re here.” She pulls Phoenix into a tight hug. Phoenix embraces her back and their body’s rock. “I missed you. Hey Lulu.” Shuri adds pinching Luna’s chubby cheeks.

“I told you that you can over whenever.” Phoenix adjusts Luna on her hip. Luna was getting heavier every day.

Before Shuri could respond, she looks up and sees Erik walking straight toward them. “Oh there’s the little T-Rex.” She points in the direction of Erik.

When Phoenix turns around, Erik is walking with that famous dip. His dreads are back into a ponytail and he’s sporting a navy blue suit that’s tailored to perfection. He’s always had great style. The smile on Phoenix’s face slowly began to drop when she noticed the tall, curvy, well dressed woman walking alongside Erik. That uneasy feeling she felt when she was home crept up from her stomach and settled in her chest. She tried to control her breathing before it picked up. She wouldn’t allow herself to get worked up before knowing what was going on.

“There you are. Philly was looking for you.” Shuri says. She turns to Phoenix, “Come find me later. We have so much to catch up on.” Shuri walks off.

Phoenix isn’t sure what she’s supposed to do. She awkwardly stands there looking around to avoid looking at the woman standing next to Erik.

“Hey, Phoenix,” Erik grabs her attention and motions to the mystery woman. “This is Alicia. Alicia, this is Phoenix.”

Alicia sticks her hand out and shakes Phoenix’s hand. “Oh my goodness, you’re Phoenix? I’ve heard so much about you. Hey Lulu.” Alicia rubs her thumb on Luna’s arm.

Lulu? The only people who calls her Lulu are people who are close to her. It’s obvious that this woman has been around Luna a great deal.

“Oh…Hm. It’s nice to meet you.”

Her eyes bounce between Alicia and Erik a few times before they lock in with Erik’s. She can’t read him. These are not the same eyes he usually looks at her with. He licks his lips. This woman isn’t just a random woman that Erik decided to introduce to her. Something was up between the two of them.

Luna throws her body backwards trying to get to her dad. Erik scoops her up with one quick motion, taking her from Phoenix. He peppers kisses all over her cheeks before checking his watch. “We’re gonna miss the opening ceremony. We should get outside.”

“You guys go ahead.” Alicia says, “I have to use the lady’s room. I’ll catch up.”

“Okay. You know where to find me.” Erik says with a smirk. Alicia places a hand on his arm and walks off toward the restroom.

Erik and Phoenix began the journey outside to watch T’Challa give the opening ceremony speech. As they approached the big door that led out, Phoenix looked to Erik. “She seems nice.”

“She is.” Erik tries to bite back his smile.

“Good. You need someone nice.”

Erik stops walking. He was stunned by her words. How did she manage to put those pieces together? His words got caught and he struggled with a response. Phoenix picked up on his struggles.

“She called Luna, Lulu. That told me everything, Erik.”

He caught on. “I wanted to tell you before now, but I didn’t really know how.”

“It’s fine. As long as she makes you happy, there’s nothing to talk about. Things may not have worked out with us but I can see that you’re a better man. Someone should get to experience that.”

Phoenix doesn’t stick around to hear how he may react. She walks ahead leaving him and Luna and goes outside. Erik stood there processing her words. Alicia catches up to him. She could see that something had shaken him up.

“Erik, is everything okay?” her eyes searched him for any kind of answer. “Did something happen with Phoenix?”

He finally looks at her, “No, nothing happened. She just, uh, she thinks you’re nice.” A single dimple appearing.

A small smile forms on Alicia’s face. “So does this mean that I’m Phoenix approved?”

They laugh. He steps closer to her and plants a kiss on her lips. Alicia’s face goes red. “Not in front of Luna.” she plays.

Erik opens the door for them and they walk out just in time as T’Challa takes the stage.

As the day progressed, Erik was talking to so many people. He found himself explaining different parts of the Outreach Center over and over but he didn’t complain. Alicia stayed by his side, mingling while Luna bounced around between the two of them and Queen Mother. It wasn’t until T’Challa pulled Erik aside to ask where Phoenix was that Erik realized that he hadn’t seen her since their exchange. His eyes searched through the crowd hoping to see her somewhere. To his disappointment, she was nowhere to be found.

He texted her.

Erik: Hey, Philly. Where did you go?

Time passed and he never received a text back.

Phoenix’s thumbs hovered over her keyboard but she just couldn’t find it in her to say anything back. When Erik didn’t come outside for the ceremony right after her, she snuck out and left. Luna was in good hands and she just couldn’t stick around. She meant what she said. She really did see Erk for the better man that he had become. He was an amazing person and even more amazing father. It wouldn’t be fair for her to want him to not move on. Again, she reminded herself that this was best.

“Philly. Come get your glass.” Mica yelled from the kitchen.

When Phoenix got back home, she told Ava what had happened and Ava called Mica and Camren over for girl talk and wine. They were all between their third and fourth cups. Hours had gone by and Phoenix still couldn’t text Erik back. She just says “fuck it,” and tossed her phone on the couch and heads into the kitchen for her refill.

When Phoenix gets a hold of her assigned wine glass, she downs it in seconds. Her friends watch on in shock.

“Damn Philly, calm down.” Camren says.

“I’m grown, Camren. You don’t have to tell me how to drink some weak ass wine.”

Mica clutches her pearls. This isn’t like Phoenix at all.

“What’s wrong with you?” Ava asks. “Is this about Erik?”

Phoenix throws daggers at Ava with her heavy eyes. “Everything ain’t about Erik. I’m good.”

“You’re not acting good.” Mica adds.

Phoenix begins filling her glass up again. “Well since yall just know me so well, how am I acting if I’m not acting like I’m good?”

Ava snatches Phoenix’s glass. “You’re acting like you’re trying to drink your problems away.”

“I don’t have any problems to drink away. If I did, I’d be killing off something way stronger than wine.” she reaches for her glass but Ava pulls away.

“It’s obvious that this Erik shit is bothering you, sis.” Ava says.

Camren and Mica both nod in agreement.

Phoenix slams her hands down on the island counter. “Yo, fuck Erik. I don’t give a shit about what that man is doing. He’s moved on. He’s happy. I’m happy. Why are y’all holding on to this shit?”

“You’re holding on to it.” Ava yells. She’s fed up with Phoenix’s rudeness.

The gloss appearing over Phoenix’s eyes alerted her friends that she was struggling to hold back her tears. Ava reaches for her but Phoenix pulls away. She looks off at nothing when a few tears escape and flow down her cheeks. Her lips shake and she wraps her arms around herself.

“I don’t get why you’re torturing yourself. You clearly still love him.” Mica says.

“Yes!,” she aggressively wipes tears from her cheeks, “I still fucking love him, but this love ain’t mean shit. He doesn’t get to do this. He can’t just pop back up after all of this and have his life back like nothing happened.

“So,” Camren hesitates for a moment. “You’re punishing him?”

“I’m protecting myself.”

Ava steps closer to Phoenix in a nurturing way. “No, you are punishing him and yourself. Look at you. I hate what his stupid ass did just as much as you. But she’s right. We’re right. You're torturing yourself while trying to prove a point.”

“No I’m not!”

“You keep saying that he can’t do this.” Mica joins in again. “That he can’t just come back. But you can’t just pretend like you don’t care. It’s not fair to either of you.”

Phoenix doesn’t respond. She’s listening but she wishes that she wasn’t. They were right and she wishes they weren’t.

Camren breaks the silence. “We’re not trying to hurt your feelings Philly or piss you off in any way, but you can’t be hurt that he’s moving on when you’re the one that told him to.”

Mica interrupts, “So, either you can move on too or tell him how you really feel.”

The group of women notices Phoenix’s lack of responses. She’s in shut down mode. They didn’t want that but they couldn’t sit back and not tell their friend the truth about herself. Phoenix finally gets her hands on her abandoned glass of wine on the counter and downs it before silently walking away from her friends. She goes upstairs to her room. They give each other knowing looks. They would give her some time and they’ll go up to console her. Moments pass and they all suddenly hear the front door slam, scaring them. When the women rush to the door, they barely catch Phoenix just as she is nearing the end of the driveway.

Ava runs out toward the reversing car but Phoenix quickly shifts the car into drive and drives off.

“Fuck!” Ava yells. “We have to get Coby.”