#like i know that so i've kept putting it off bc boring as fuck but i should get it done still (it's mandatory))

[why-the-heck-not]

26.08.23, saturday

today was what we like to call "productive procrastination" aka the rest of my life is in shambles but I now have a clean kitchen

[viktoriaashleyyx]

This is a pro Tamlin, anti Rhysand self insert revenge fic. All characters belong to SJM, but she wasn't treating them right. Tam x reader, Tam x Rhysands Sister (OC), First person narrative. This will also reference Elucien and Neris in the future but we aren't there yet. Contains slight violence, poisons, broken bones. Also profanity. I'm not sure what else to tw if I miss something let me know. This is my first fic. I honestly don't know how to find word count, but it's roughly 4 pages on word docs. Criticism welcome. Rhysands Sister is back and she's pissed. Rhysand gets his ass whooped and Tamlin gets shown love. Enjoy.

Ch 2. Ch3 Ch4 Ch5 Ch6 Ch7 Ch8 Ch9 Ch10

Tarquin BC

Chapter 1:

I crash landed on a stone surface. A balcony of sorts? It was well built if it was, considering how long I've been falling, I'm shocked I didn't crash right through it. I know now that making a deal with the gods is a lot like making a deal with a damn djin. 

“Who goes there??” A booming male voice barked. I could hear swords drawn. Fuck where am I? My ears were still ringing, vision blurred, and chest heavy from the impact. I blinked my eyes open to find a winged male looming over me. Another illyrian? Have I finally made it home? Fuck, then that means I am in the night court. Damnit, 7 fucking courts in Prythia and I just happen to land here. At my brother's court. 

This ones expression shifted from threatening to complete shock as his gaze landed on my eyes. “Sky?” 

At my brother's court and at his fucking house, Freya has a sick sense of humor. I slowly sat up, ignoring the hand the illyrian extended to me. 

“Your wing!” He gasped. So thats what that throbbing pain was. My wing seemed to have been snapped in the fall. “You need a healer, go get Madja” he commanded the other brute. 

“Don't bother” I dismissed, standing up slowly. I pulled a small glass vial out of my pocket, a healing potion, I always kept a few on hand, never know when you're gonna need it. I downed the bitter red liquid as I've done a thousand times and grabbed the dagger off my hip. I put the handle in my mouth and bit down on it as I grabbed my own wing and straightened out the bone. I held it right for about a minute until the potion worked its magic. It hurt like crazy but I was careful not to show these idiots, the fear and shock on their faces was satisfying if I am being honest. 

“I'm guessing you are Azriel and Cassian, though I can't tell which is which” I admitted, trying to seem just polite enough to leave. 

The one next to me spoke first “I'm Azriel, he's Cassian” okay, Azriel short hair, Cassian long hair “this is Mor and Amren and she is Feyre, High Lady of the Night Court” 

“So my brother is dead?” I had hoped my excitement would come off as concern. 

“No, no, they rule together, as equals” Cassian spoke

“Got it” this conversation is dragging. I need to leave. 

“It's so nice to meet Rhysands sister, we thought you were dead, I'd heard so much about you” Feyre gushed, “Rhys is out on important business at the moment but he should be back soon.” I had no use or interest in this small talk. 

“How old are you?” I looked at her as if to study the young thing in front of me. I was never good at pleasantries. I spent a good while in isolation and I tend to just blurt out the questions on my mind. 

“I am 21” Feyre replied sharply, yep I angered her with my lack of class. 

“Ew, 21 years? Ugh, my brother always did like them unreasonably young.” I'm just gonna keep going with it, hopefully she'll throw me out. 

“My age is not a disability” Feyre snapped. 

“It's adorable that you think that.” I'm in too deep. Oops. “Anyway, I am sorry I crashed into your home, I had little control, but I would like to leave now.” 

“You will apologize and bow to your high lady.” Cassian growled. Azriel stepped in front of the door. 

“She is not my high lady, I am not a citizen of your court, in fact, I am starting to feel like a prisoner.” It's not lost on me that I have bore the title of Queen, multiple times. In both cases I have dismantled the monarchy entirely, setting up a system in which the people vote on who leads them. Her title meant nothing to me. I bow to those deserving, not the one who rely solely on birthright. But she doesn't need to know this. I have more important things on my mind than to argue with a child "I will request one more time, you move and allow me to leave.” 

“Or what?” Azriel snapped. Unmoving. 

I did not want to show this much of my hand just yet, knowing this magic is not native to Prythia. But, if they want to twist my arm, so be it. A swirling purple circle opened up under me and I fell though, closing it quickly behind me. Portals were my favorite magic to do, in more cases than once it ensured my freedom.

Landing softly on my feet, I took in my surroundings. Cool air, rolling green hills, and the sounds of birds chirping in the distance, the Spring court. I was finally home. I eventually spotted the manor I spent so much of my time at as a child. Mother didn't make me train with the illyrians as she did my brother because she feared the treatment I would receive, also by the time I came along she had befriended the ladies of the other courts. We would spend weeks here at times, the children would play together and the mothers would discuss adult things we didn't care about. One of those things being alliances, and what better way to encourage an alliance between Spring and Night than by an arranged marriage.

I didn't mind them encouraging me to play with the cute blonde shapeshifter. He was kind and silly and only a couple years older than me. The other kids, mainly Autumn boys, were rough and volatile, and I just had no interest in what they considered fun. When I would get flustered by my wings knocking things over and getting in the way, the youngest Spring boy would remind me how beautiful they were, or how powerful they made me. The few times he would get a chance to practice his fiddle, I would dance and twirl, even if it was just the arpeggios. He was the 3rd born, and I the second and a girl, they didn't expect either of us to become High lord. 

The manor was about a mile away, I shot up another portal to the door, I was tired after all and, if I'm being honest, a little excited to be back.

When I reached the door it was broken in half and wide open. I creeped inside, cautiously. It looked to be abandoned. Dirt and dust coated the walls and floors, priceless artifacts shattered and books thrown from the shelves. I noticed claw marks in the furniture. “Please just be alive, after everything, I can’t be too late.” I whispered to myself. My heart sank as I looked around. 

Further into the dilapidated manor, I heard muffled voices coming from the kitchen. “Get out.” a tired weak growl. I ran to the entrance and just as I rounded the corner I saw my brother's boot kick in the chest of.. Tamlin. He began spitting up blood. 

“WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?” I hissed at my brother. 

Rhysand whipped around towards me, Tamlin looked up from the floor, eyes wide. 

“You're alive??” Rhysand darted towards me and I shoved him to the ground, rushing to Tamlins side. I knelt down beside him, held his head up from where he laid on the floor and pulled another glass vial out of my pocket. 

“It'll be bitter but swallow” I commanded gently. He didn't argue, he took the healing potion and I kissed his forehead as I laid him back down gently to address my brother. 

I stood tall. Nothing but pure rage in my violet eyes toward my brother. I always hated how much we looked alike. “THIS is the ‘important business’ you told your wife you had to take care of?” 

“I thought he killed you, he hurt my mate.” Rhysand admitted, no remorse. 

“And I finally make it back home after 300 years in exile to find you kicking mine” I state through gritted teeth. 

Rhysands eyes narrowed “your what?” It was obvious he wanted me to retract my statement, not going to happen. I didn't waste my time away, I knew I was more powerful than all of Prythia, I had to be, in case I had returned to Amarantha still terrorizing the place. 

“You heard me.” I maintained his gaze. In a split second he lunged for me and I reached my hand out into the small portal that appeared to my side. I grabbed one of the curved blades I was gifted by the warriors I previously trained with. These blades were specifically enchanted to drip poisons into the wounds they create. This one? Bloodbane, or as Prythians call it, “Faebane.” I slashed him across the face in a controlled move, just enough to leave a scar and allow the poison to sink in. 

He screamed in pain and looked back up at me. My eyes fell entirely black and cracks formed across my face as I spit my curse at him, lifting up his chin with my sword to make him look me in the eye “IF YOU, OR ANY OF YOUR LACKEYS, ENTER THE SPRING COURT BORDERS AGAIN, ALL OF THE AIR WILL BE DRAWN FROM YOUR LUNGS, AND IF YOU CANNOT GET OUT BEFORE YOU PASS OUT WE WILL FEED YOUR BODIES TO THE PIGS.” I relaxed, my face returning to normal. “Now get out.” A portal opened below him and he fell, leaving him only halfway up the steps to the House of Wind. 

I turned my attention back to Tamlin, he had sat up, the healing potion having done its job, looking up at me with a million different emotions on his face, shock, fear, concern, confusion and relief. I sat down next to him, draping my legs over his. He embraced me like I was going to disappear any minute. “You're alive. Or I am dead, I do not care as long as I have you in my arms again.” he sighed as we just sat there on the floor. 

I awoke the daemati powers I hardly used as I pressed my forehead to his. A gentle knock on the walls of his mind, and he allowed me in. I shared the memories I held dear for all these years, of us playing in the fields of Spring, the days he would spend with me in the gallery his mother gifted me, watching me paint, the mischief we would get into and the giggles we would share. His face relaxed into a soft smile as I kissed his cheek.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

@ladythornofrivia asked to be tagged❤️

[aithusarosekiller]

An Extensive List Of Ouizzy Hcs

Frenchie is a cuddler. If he gets the opportunity to latch on like a koala you know damn well that he will do it. This is often paired with soft kisses to wherever is closest to his face. He and Izzy were initially very casual with very little intimacy, until one day Frenchie just decided to cuddle up and Izzy had the realisation of 'oh shit, this is actually really nice'

Izzy's response to the first 'I love you' was a very panicked 'fuck off' until he remembered how similarly Ed had responded to his confession and freaked the fuck out because he didn't want Frenchie to feel that way. He was too emotionally constipated to apologise so he just left the room. It took two days for him to approach Frenchie and manage an apology, which was accepted a lot quicker than he anticipated.

Frenchie is so proud that he managed to pull the Izzy Hands and will not fail to mention it to EVERYBODY he comes across. He is very much the 'Well, yesterday, my husband said...' 'According to Iz- that's my boyfriend btw-' 'hey, this is Izzy, he's my beautiful boyfriend' 'I'm so lucky to have a husband like Iz' 'I have a partner too, his name is Izzy and-' 'sorry, I've got a date with my darling Izzy today' type of partner

Frenchie smiles in his sleep. It's adorable.

Jim is their no.1 supporter. They gave Frenchie the shovel talk, which he genuinely did not see coming. They think their relationship is 'cute', which made Izzy particularly grumpy and reluctant to talk to them for a week.

Izzy is a sub

Izzy always falls asleep first but he's a super light sleeper so Frenchie is careful to not move or even breathe too loud because he is terrified of waking him

Stede knew they were dating before Izzy did

Izzy will usually shut down Frenchie's superstitious theories but will occasionally indulge him if he's particularly adamant and it won't cause any harm bc at least it makes Frenchie happy to be believed.

The room they choose to hide Izzy in when he gets shot is the room the two of them had been secretly meeting up in for several weeks before the canon s2 timeline picks up. Frenchie just panicked and took him right there, having to come up with an excuse to give to Archie when she asked why he wanted to drag Izzy behind a dusty shelf.

Frenchie gives neck hugs, Izzy goes for the arms around the waist + face in shoulder hug. Occasionally Izzy will come up and hug him from behind but he finds it more intimate for some inexplicable reason so he rarely does it, especially in the company of others.

They can't go anywhere without walking into some big, scary guy Izzy once hooked up with. But Frenchie quickly grew to not mind because out of all of them, Iz still chose to stick the superstitious barely-pirate with no survival skills whatsoever so are any of them really that cool after all?

Lucius takes every opportunity to tease Izzy about their relationship. He will not stop until he gets a satisfying reaction. Or until he gets bored enough to make up an excuse for leaving...

Frenchie is a biter. No further information.

They don't usually do anniversaries but they DO frequently pretend that it's their anniversary when they want to get out of doing something for somebody else

In S1E4, Frenchie is the one that left the prosthetic at Izzy's door. He's also the one that told Lucius what to put on the note.

Izzy sometimes sings when he's really focused on something but he'll deny it to the end of time. Frenchie hears sometimes and just quietly listens. He'll switch between languages when he sings depending on his mood and Frenchie loses all human cognitive abilities when he brings out the French.

One day, Frenchie 'adopts' a rat he found onboard and calls it Maddy, Izzy hates it but still manages to convince Roach not to skin it and feed it to a seagull, all bc it made Frenchie happy. Ofc if you asked him, he'd say he had nothing to do with the thing being kept.

Frenchie manages to somehow slip the word 'babe' into every conversation

Izzy's a hand kisser. Especially the palms.

They both go to Wee John when they're stressing about gifts or smth and it gets to a point where he knows more about their relationship than they do

Izzy accidentally let the words 'my love' slip ONCE and is not allowed to forget it

There is nothing Frenchie wouldn't do to hear that man laugh. He'll do absolutely anything just to see him smile or laugh, which initially proves to be quite difficult.

They are girl dads idec

Izzy occasionally smokes, and it's one of the key ways Frenchie can tell if he is in pain or stressed out

They make bets about everyone else on the ship constantly. About almost anything.

Izzy tried to teach Frenchie how to read but his reading skills are relatively limited so it really didn't go well. They end up going to Ed for help because Izzy banned him from asking Lucius.

Frenchie knows a lot about flowers. He never says how but he'll go on about them for ages. Izzy secretly gives it endearing.

The black jacket Frenchie wears in s2 was given to him by Izzy. He made some adjustments and added the cat to the back and then started to wear it constantly; he quite liked wearing it because it felt like a comforting layer of protection and familiarity from the horrors around them

[clarenecessities]

ummmm what about. uhhh those women from the supergirl show. now that i type that im pretty sure one of them is supergirl

oh, buddy. yes, one of them is supergirl.

disclaimer: i have never and will never watch the cw's supergirl, bc i love myself

What made you ship it?

well it TURNS OUT that there's a lot of overlap in Supercorp shippers and Catradora shippers, for some reason. can't imagine why! [puts a blanket over my venn diagram's cage]

so i went a little insane after she-ra came out (you remember) and read about 6k fics, just scrolling through the tag with some filters on & clicking on anything that looked interesting. it was a very interesting time in our lives. a lot of me going "huh? whah?" in call. birth of the scorpia disclaimer.

but eventually i ran out of she-ra fics. and i like... i couldn't stop, you know? and it turns out that some of the best she-ra authors have written a lot of supergirl fics. so it kept coming up when i was on author-specific binges. and i got curious! i'm a curious guy!

and then it turns out they're really cute >:( they're adorable, damn it.

ik i'm never gonna be able to drag you into this hole with me, since you already have a designated CW trainwreck, but if you're ever feeling bored the first one i ever read was really fucking funny and requires zero knowledge of canon. i didn't know alex's pronouns until halfway through bc i'd never heard of her (literally supergirl's sister). initially i clicked on it bc "superhero pretends to date her civilian identity" sounded hysterical but like... kara is so sweet, and so socially inept. and lena is a human disaster who just wants to help. and they both have crippling abandonment issues and no chill whatsoever

What are your favorite things about the ship?

i like that they appreciate each other. the version of them that i've constructed piecemeal from other people's opinions is such that like... they've both been pretty miserable, right? lena watched her mom die when she was like 4 years old and then got adopted by the luthors, kara watched her planet explode & pawned off by clark (who was like 30 years older than he was supposed to be bc of DC bullshit) on some human family and had to pretend to be normal for a decade or so.

and they both hide that pretty well, kara with kindness and lena with unapproachable businesswoman...ness... but they're both immediately fascinated by each other. and they're both sort of genuine with each other, even when they're in 'nice but bumbling civilian' or 'ruthless luthor' mode. so where it gets interesting for me is those moments they reach a mutual understanding of something, or where they trust each other in spite of Every Other Thing.

in like their first meeting lena says she's just a woman trying to make a name for herself outside of her family & asks if they can understand and kara is like "🥺 yeah..." and like they were just kind of fucked from there. sigh. you don't know how good you have it with riverdale polycule man. fuckin CW.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

i have many but the one that comes up most often isn't an opinion, it's a fact.

“khap zhao rrip” is fucking nonsense. it does not mean 'i love you'. it's SVO instead of VSO and zhao is a noun why are you even including kyrptahniuo if you're just going to find-and-replace random words.

listen. listen to me. zhaoivodh khap rrip. it is literally easier than french. nobody fucking does it right logan it makes me feel insane

[mtndewpitchblack]

if you see this no the FUCK you don't but having said that. no reblogs vent under readmore

IF AT ANY POINT YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN PARSE THE IDENTITIES OF ANY FOLLOWING SUBJECT ALIASES [3, 4, 5, 5², 5³, 5⁴, 5⁵, 7] EXIT THE READMORE!!!!

It feels like all of my friends are so busy right now. Everyone I know and hang out with has something else going on, and it's not their fault. I can't blame them, life is busy! I get that! It just feels, really strongly, like they're all finding time for things, though. Just not me. [7] and [5] are busy as hell obviously but it turns out they, well, at least [7], is hanging out with [5²] despite saying that [7] and I would hang out like last week :(. And I tried this weekend and [7] was, again, busy, after I canceled plans with [5³]

post canceled i just need friends with not 5 letter names

post uncanceled. anyways i canceled rave plans with [5³] bc i just had a long emotional conversation with [5²] and even THEN i felt like I was ignoring the stuff I felt and wanted to say just to make [5²] feel better AGAIN. because it's not like I've been doing everything I can to make other people feel better for the last like 5 years of my overactive guilty conscience!!! but I had to make [5²] feel better, of course, because IM not the most hurt one here, but then, it turns out [5²] was JUST HANGING OUT WITH [7]!!! IVE BEEN TRYING!!!!!!!! [7] HAD [5²] HELPING [7] CLEAN [7] APARTMENT!!! LIKE I HAVWNT BEEN TRYING TO TEXT THE GC FOR TWO WEEKS TRYING TO SEE [7+5]!!!! [5] isn't even replying anymore, and I KNOW [5] is busy but fuck ME if it doesn't seem like it's just ME Specifically Getting Ignored!!! I shouldn't have to text [5] individually just to get some kind of response (note I have not actually done that yet. If [5] is ignoring me for some reason that's HIS thing to navigate.) but like. three years or so. I've been trying to be helpful and nice amd funny and interesting and trying so hard not to talk too much about my interests because I've already made [7, 5²] involve themselves in my interests a fuck ton as it is, and [5] doesn't always do well with recommendations, which I have been trying so hard not to take personally because I know [5] doesn't mean it!!

Anyways I canceled the plans with [5³] to relax and not break down and because I also was supposed to hang out with [5⁴] and either watch my fav movie, a new show [5⁴] showed me, or I'd get to show [5⁴] one of the abandoned buildings nearby, which are all activities that LITERALLY MEAN THE WORLD TO ME!!! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FRIDAY then. [5⁴] wasn't feeling good. so we raincheck for sat. Well now, it's sat, and [5⁴] has to go home to visit [5⁴] family, so we put it off for Sunday, and then it's Sunday, and [5⁴] gets back, barely texts about how [5⁴] water just got shut off and how there's an errand [5⁴] has to run, then about how "I'm sorry I'm so exhausted" which I GET bc it's your PARENTS HOUSE trust me brother i understand. so i try to reach out to literally any of my friends that I'm pretty sure might have time. See previous for results on this test with [7]. I didn't text [5, 5², 5³] or [5⁴], bc [5] isn't responding, I canceled with [5³], i still need time and space IRT [5²], and [5⁴] obviously canceled on me three days in a row which means [5⁴] MAY have lied about not being tired of me. But it turns out [3] was busy, and doesn't really ask me to clarify much on what I'm upset about, and ofc I'm not reaching out to mom and dad about this shit, and [5⁵+4] were supposed to play minecraft with me like ALL WEEKEND AND [4] kept canceling because of his late ass work shifts (ENTIRELY JUSTIFIED) and [5⁵] was barely on, bored, and isolated the whole time, and that was only like, Saturday, the only day anybody beyond myself alone played!! [5⁵+4] aren't even replying in our group chat sometimes!!! [5⁵] was just sitting AFK in the nether all day yesterday which means he was ONLINE SOMETIME BEFORE I GOT ON AND DIDNT TELL ANYONE DESPITE ME AAKING IN THE GROUPCHAT IF ANYONE WANTED TO PLAY YESTERDAY!!!! This shit is why losing friends always hurts me so goddamn much, because it seems like no matter how long it takes someone always eventually decides I'm too much and they start to step away. And what am I supposed to do, bring it up? Get my attention back out of guilt?? What kind of fucking egomaniac would I have to beeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!! And sure there's inevitably a healthy way to communicate this stuff, but if they're BUSY I don't want to BOTHER them and if they're IGNORING ME then it doesn't MATTWR WHAT I SAY I GUESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[autumnrory]

i virtually always finish a fic even if i'm not that into it because it's like well it's got tropes i like or i just wanna know how it ends or whatever like it's gotta be really egregious for me to exit out and based on (some of) the tags and the summary i thought i would like this one and i was so happy to have a big huge fic to read but i ended up just reading the first part of 100k and one of the one shots and then i was just like. there's a couple more one shots and another 100k of a sequel and it's gonna be exactly the same so i was just like yeah i don't have to do this

sometimes i don't understand something having so many kudos but this one was especially like??? some of the writing was technically good with descriptions and all but the dialogue, not so much. it's the same exchanges over and over (like jesus no wonder this is altogether 250k when you just rehash the same shit over and over) where steve is just like "you're so perfect for me, i'd do anything for you" which sure is technically accurate to how steve is about bucky but like they barely knew each other in this fic and even with the honeymoon phase, even with them both coming from shitty relationships and both knowing that they want, it's not gonna be seamless with getting together and communicating and easily being on the same wavelength like people in a long term relationship. and like. it wasn't completely gross as some but it was the kind of daddy kink that leans towards infantilizing and i'm just like it is so not sexy to talk to your partner like a child or a pet sdkjfjks i hate it but not only that but also like EVERY side character talking about bucky the way fandom does which like sure, i agree, he is sweet and adorable, but i think it's weird to have everyone going on about an adult like that, like i'm not gonna be mad if my friends say i'm adorable but if my partner's friends kept doing that i'd be like hiiiii i'm not a fucking doll i'm a human being it was just. weird. as if everyone sees bucky as a "little boy" not just steve when they're in bed ksjdfjks

and all the side characters just kind of acted the exact same and there wasn't much to differentiate them. and like i believe people are good and all but everyone rallies around bucky and acts like they've been friends for years and they know him even less than steve does AND steve told people about bucky's abusive stalker ex without permission and i was just like mmmm it's up to him if people know about that lol like he should not have gotten others involved, it would be different to go to bucky's friends for support bc they know the situation but steve's friends did not need to know all that unless bucky wanted to tell them so that bugged me but steve was still basically framed as being completely flawless which hey steve is my fave and i won't hear criticisms of him but even i found it overdone like he can be an overall good person and still make mistakes but that didn't happen here

and then it was just like cartoon villain-y especially with sharon which as i've said pissed me off bc she's put with the likes of rumlow and pierce but it was like oh my god the mcu villains are more compelling in their behavior than this which is saying something bc i think the mcu had interesting villains only a couple times tbh literally she had a "you ruined everything!" moment bc her plan didn't work it was so utterly ridiculous

anyway like i complain about a lot of things i read but this was ultimately just......so boring and irritating in the end so i was just like hey reading the main story is enough to see everything resolved which is all i really need

[bisexualhobi]

Yeah the way they went out with a half assed comeback? like why couldnt they have announced the break after the LV shows (or way before but ya know)... I think it would have been way better received whereas the lead up to what was simply a boring ass anthology money grab with not even a Muster concert in Korea was so underwhelming and disapointing. I do think as you have kinda hinted at before there was some serious almost power struggle going on with the company and I think their refusal to do even choreo for those music shows gave me the vibes of just fulfilling contractual obligations. I know I'm being a broken record but its just so frustrating how much better the whole thing could have been handled and particularly RM and Yoongi in how they worded things in that dinner live... their feelings of losing direction /being pushed a certain way were definitely valid and I did feel for RM but also the complete lack of accountability and humility just gave it such a hollow tone.

in my opinion it does show a lack of..... ugh i don't wanna say humility bc i think that word doesn't quite nail what i'm going for but it just comes across as tone deaf and highly unlikeable.

as i've said before - people get tired of someone that keeps winning and yet at every chance keeps reminding everyone of when they were losing. like holy shit dude we get it. you had it hard. that's life. what the fuck else do you want us to say? you are literally at the top of the fucking world now - let it fucking go already.

bts built their entire platform and appeal on the story of being the underdogs. bc everybody loves rooting for the underdog. but the problem w that narrative (and that i am 99% sure they never accounted for bc well - WHO in their right mind imagines they will become the single most popular artist of the 2010s) is that once they blew the fuck up that narrative was automatically rendered obsolete. bts can no longer claim anyone and anything is against them - (because even if they are who the fuck cares) - and that they've had it tough (because even if they have what the fuck does that have to do with the present). their success and popularity is so massive that everybody that follows them nowadays is aware that they are untouchable and have a multimillion business and a fandom that blinds them from anything.

all of that coupled with some very shitty management in the past two years has made bts' success a double edged sword.

on the one hand they grew exponentially thanks to the pandemic - on the other they kept crying about how they couldn't have concerts while people were dying by the millions.

on the one hand they managed to break into the US with two grammy nominated english songs - on the other they lost so much credibility bc of it some of their own fans stopped supporting them and the new fans that came in no longer cared about the music, just about the money and the achievements and the merchandise.

on the one hand they made millions off the english releases and sponsorships that came with it - on the other they put themselves in a position where the company saw the money coming in and kept pushing them for more while they burnt out creatively and have locked themselves in an insular echo chamber that no longer lets them grow as artists.

but then again, when you have the poor billionaires lamenting over how hard it is for them no one really gives a fuck except the people that made them billionaires in the first place. the rest of the public is just gonna see conceited celebrities who were fine with reaping the benefits of their own selling-out until it came back to bite them in the ass.

[desidarling123]

Reviewing the Grishaverse Couples (Canon and Non-Canon/Alternate Universe) just because I can, here we go:

These are not based *strictly* on the books, but rather the Netflix show, which appears to have spawned ✨all the ships✨ as of late.

DISLAIMER: I don't hate any ships! And I won't tolerate any slander. Creativity is the core to all fandoms, and that's what shipping (canon or otherwise) is ultimately all about. Cool? Cool.

CANON COUPLES:

Darkling/Alina aka DARKLINA: What I came for TBH, though not necessarily what kept me watching through the end (damn you, episode 5! you got me so confused! ahhh but also corruption arc for Alina? hmmmm) Jessie and Ben have chemistry in spades, and Ben emotes well for an ancient asshat. These two have great fic potential.

Mal/Alina aka MALINA: Sweet! A little boring to me initially tbh, but much better on rewatch. They are each other's safe haven, and there's something really lovely about that. I like them together.

Kaz/Inej aka KANEJ: GOD TIER. THEY'VE RUINED EVERYTHING ELSE FOR ME. NOTHING EVEN COMES CLOSE. THE FUCKING PINING BITCH. HE LOVES HER. SO SO MUCH. 1000000000/10.

Full disclosure: I came for Darklina, but stayed for Kanej. And, at this rate, will happily suffer countless seasons where the most they do is maybe hold hands but also Netflix please let them heal their trauma together and kiss at least once for my poor shipper heart PLEASE

Nina/Matthias aka HELNIK: They're cute. Almost a little too on-the-nose with the tropes for me, personally, but the actors make it work.

Jesper/Stable Boy: Honestly? Good for Jesper. The only person on the show who actually managed to get laid onscreen. He deserves it.

Genya/David: Also very cute, though they don't necessarily occupy much brain space. I like that David is this awkward little dork but he's just. So good for Genya. It's very pure and she really needs that.

Darkling/Zoya: Zoya, baby, you deserve better. That said, I wish the show had explored their backstory a bit more. These two would clearly put the T in toxic (Aleksander largely being the one to blame here, of course).

Ivan/Feydor: As someone else put it, these two can be summarized simply by -- be gay and do crimes. They're real cute. If only they weren't Team Darkling.

NON-CANON/ALTERNATE UNIVERSE:

AKA time for some ✨multishipper controversy✨

Darkling/Inej aka DARKEJ: I am extremely biased since I've written for them, but honestly? I would like to convert you all. This pairing has POTENTIAL. The sinner and the saint, the immortal and the ordinary. Also they both have this elegant, shadowy grace to them. Bonus points? Kaz getting a whiff of this nonsense and meticulously planning how to cut up Aleksander into a million tiny little pieces lol.

Darkling/Kaz aka DARKAZ: Sexy. So so sexy. Not in a physical sense (for obvious reasons' on Kaz' end, unless you go AU with that aspect, too) but more a battle of brains. Would inevitably end with Kaz slitting the Darkling's throat, somehow as he should, lmao.

Kaz/Alina aka KAZALINA: I didn't understand this, initially. They barely interacted and Kaz seemed more the type to drag Alina by the kefta than woo her. However, I saw a bunch of people on TikTok attacking someone who made a fantastic AU video edit, (and by a bunch I mean at least two attack videos amassing 10K+ likes total) -- so now I ship it purely out of spite, LOL. It only works in an AU where Inej doesn't exist or Kanej is somehow still endgame, but you know what? The saint and the nonbeliever has some potential. I dig it.

Kaz/Jesper aka KESPER: There's some basis for it in the books. I do prefer them as friends (and come on! Wylan!) but again, I get it.

Jesper/Inej: I... want whatever y'all are smoking bc it must be AMAZING (I kid, I kid). While I can't fully claim to understand it, I love both characters, want nothing but the best for them, and am not entirely opposed to it given the right premise. And Jesper did say he'd kill a man for Inej pretty much without hesitation...

Kaz/Jesper/Inej: OT3 vibes. I haven't read anything with these three just yet but I think, done right, it could be absolutely perfect.

Inej/Alina: I feel like Inej's piety would actually get in the way of a true relationship but I think it's cute as a one-sided crush, Inej on Alina.

Mal/Inej: This one is probably the most random of the Inej ships, but I'm team "Give Inej All The Love" so I'll let this one slide. Also, Amita and Archie low-key have crazy chemistry off-set so again. I get it.

Mal/Kaz: ... does this even exist? Lol I think Mal would definitely drive Kaz up the goddamn wall

Mal/Darkling: Objectively hilarious to me on several counts LMAO (that fight scene at the end of episode 8 PLS). BUT there's a fine line between love and hate... maybe it's not Alina they were after but each other all along

Alina/Genya: Again, god-tier. Also, makes Genya's later betrayal of Alina extra tasty in my opinion. So yeah, add in a dash of heartbreak why not?!?

Alina/Zoya: Enemies to lovers excellence. Though Zoya clearly has some internalized self-hatred to work through (baby WHAT was that half-breed comment?), I don't hate it. Maybe some day...

[syubub]

ENERGY CHECKUP: YOONGI (again)

Now, I know I've already done an energy check up on yoon but I wanted to see how he was doing now that he's gotten his shoulder surgery!

Disclaimer time: tarot is not to be takes as fact and is my interpretation if the cards :) entertainment purposes only~

SHIT IS STRANGE (it is Yoongi though so I'm not too shocked)

So. For starters, his energy is pretty calm and chill. He's also a bit more quiet?

I wrote a note that tomorrow is exciting... idk I wrote it down and I'm not sure if its exciting for him or for us? Maybe its just a general like, "tomorrow is a good day" type thing.

Now. 11... I wrote this down and I'm not sure why though I believe that he might be seeing 11:11 on the clock or possibly that something exciting is happening for him at 11:11 (I just checked and thats in like an hour and a half from when I'm writing this down(( update i just finished writing the whole post and it is about 11 minutes away)) idk. I make no promises but I wrote it down so there you go.

I also kept seeing plants and I'm not sure if people got him flowers or plants as a "get well" type thing or maybe he's stressing bc someone has to water his plants lol

Okay. Okay. Hear me out. Black bean noodles. It popped into my head and I was told to write it down but I'm also really hungry so take that with a grain of fucking salt. (I even pictured a nice elaborate bowl that was red as well as the take out container. Yum. Send me noodles)

MOVING ON

Here's the actual reading lol. He is bored.

Thats all. Thank you for coming.

Jk

I joke. The cards give me a kind of frazzled feeling? Its the struggle of knowing hes done something good but it comes at a cost. Yoongi works. A lot. All the goddamn time. So what now? He's having this shake up thats forcing him to deal with stuff. Him having this surgery also may have brought back some less than favorable memories/ feelings that hes being forced to deal with now. Over all though he feels like its good. The 6 of wands makes me think that he's thinking of our response when he comes back. Its like he's gonna be so much more confident in himself and his dancing and he can finally move on from the car accident? It happed so long ago but he literally carried this burden with him. Its good. The wheel of fortune and is about a change and the 8 of swords is about self imposed restriction, imprisonment and over all bad/ negative feelings. I pulled the wheel of fortune first and asked what was changing and that was the 8 of swords. This surgery is helping to free him from this restricting, painful thing that may have been reminding him of the past! YES HEALING

Now. For this section I just kinda asked "whats up?" And got, easy does it, divine life purpose l, balancing masculine and feminine energies and uplift your thoughts. He may be resting but he's got his mind working on 3,000 my dude. Its the regular "yoongi is woke af" bullshit but damn. The cards say what they say. He's preparing. I'll come back to this.

Now the 7 of cups and the 3 of swords. I asked how he felt about missing out on promoting. He's heart broken with the 3 of swords. It genuinely pains him. And with the 7 of cups he might feel like there's a lot of ways this can play out and he's considered a lot of options.

I was curious how he felt about me coming into his energy so I asked him what he thought of me. Lol. These each came out separately. We got, 2 of cups, four of wands, the empress, justice, the magician, the sun and the lovers. Ha

So. To add to the mood setting my guide said "he's a drama queen" lol yeah he is.

So so so so so. I was confused? Still am a little confused but I'm like 80.9% sure that he isn't bothered by me poking around in his energy n shit. In fact my theory is that he's using this connection to his advantage? Lol sounds dumb but my best guess is that home boy sees my energy/ what I'm doing as a way to figure out his own shit? Idk maybe he thinks I'm his energetic therapist. Maybe even a matchmaker (I mean... I have been putting a lot of energy and work into finding/ connecting with his soulmate so maybe he's letting me do all the dirty work) I really don't understand but I got no further explanation.

Oki oki oki. Now. I was drawn to 2 books. The kybalion and the prophet. I asked yoon if there was any messages that we wanted to point out through the books and I got a number for each book so I took it as page numbers. 28 for the prophet and 54 for the kybalion

Take what you will from these if it calls to you. I haven't read these since I was around 13? The sentiments for each felt important to me so I'm curious what you all might think/ feel when reading these? ( I also get the feeling that Yoongi has read the prophet idk why)

Okay. At this point I was like cool, let's wrap this up but I need to talk about his pjs? Green/grey? Plaid pj bottoms don't ask me don't ask me don't ask me I don't know but It wouldn't go away so I had write it down? Help.

I had written yoongis brother down too. Theres something about him? I'm not sure what but thats all I got lol

I was very strongly told that I needed to remember 7, that its important. Got it. Worth it down.

Oki. As I was going back to the platform blah blah blah the string turned blue too. The cord is usually white or silver but it was blue so that was a fun thing and then I was like "nice. Cool. Thanks. This was awesome, get healthy blah blah" and go to leave/ end the connection but the cord wouldn't go away.

???

What.

Then the string (idk if I said but that string shit is like on the third eye? Its connected to my forehead and his too.) Kind tightens.

I'm like, "oh shit."

Listen. Usually everything is smooth and nice and I just leave.

All is well though bc my guide is like, "stop being a little bitch" so I just let it happen.

Yoon shoves me back off the edge of the platform. Why he gotta be like that?

Now. This is strange. I had dropped down into a library.

Y'ALL

I almost shit my fucking pants. Dear god.

THE AKASHIC RECORDS MY DUDE

He started walking me around until he found a blue book. His mother fucking book.

Home boy brought me to his fucking Akashic fucking blue fucking book.

I was big mad. "YOU LITTLE FUCKER! YOUVE KNOWN ABIUT THIS SHIT?" And he was like, "duh"

I've never felt more disrespect lol

Also the way the library was presented was way way way different from how it looks to me. So thats an interesting note. Looking at his book, on the base of the spine is a number 7...

Oki. Cool. I asked if I could look and he said, "Sure, when you can find your way back."

This mother fucker threw me out of a meditative state. Have you ever woken up just before you hit the ground in one of those falling dreams? THAT WAS THE FEELING.

?? I'm not sure what the fuck just happened or if it holds actual significance.

Anyway. After cursing the fuck out of yoobi I started thinking what else 7 ment.

I was specifically told to remember 7 and it was on his book. Then It popped into my head (I want to say its because I'm smart and thought of it all by myself but I think that was my guide wanting me to keep my last brain cell safe). What is yoongis life path number?

Now I don't know shot about life path numbers but imma read up on them tonight. I used a life path calculator on Google. HIS LIFE PATH NUMBER IS 7 Y'ALL.

Maybe I'm dumb as fuck but yoobi never disappoints.

Conclusion: Yoon is fine. Hes just being a yoongi and a yoongi does.

⬆️Me after this reading⬆️

⬆️ Yoongi rn playing 12D chess⬆️

[steponmepinkjun]

THATS WHAT IVE BEEN WONDERING! maybe its cause i dont look a day over 13 and im 5'2. idk. i think everyone stopped being scared of me when i stopped clawing bitches in hs. maybe i should grow out my nails again... LMFAO i was feral fr. nah but when ppl tell me i talk to much i get more upset and less angry and wanting to ruin their life bc my track record w keeping friends is so bad my brain has convinced me it's a me problem and something i genuinely need to work on so i shouldnt hold it against them. it keeps me from sending them 6ft under but i still do hold it against them. like yes jade i remember every single little off comment u made to me in 8th grade. tbh looking back on it it's probably because i still wanted to be friends w them that i held back. the bitches who Really crossed me and i lashed out at, never recovered. i was deadass aboutta jump a bitch on the way home from work the other day for smth he did three years ago. guess i really am a scorpio LMAOOOO too bad im leaving the country i wouldve loved to knock his lights out -felix bi anon

My philosophy on yall shorties has always been this: the shorter they are, the closer to hell. Do NOT fuck w a shortie they will slice your achilles tendon and then go back to their iced coffee like it twerent no thang. Mess w someone under 5'5", they will burn your house down right after they ask for your help reaching the snacks on the top shelf 😂 IT IS NOT A GAAAAAME HOMIE 🤣🤣 anyone who thinks that shorties can't fight has never gotten an uppercut to the jaw from someone who looks like they should be on the schoolbus but harbors the fires of hell inside them at all times. Not a joke, just a fact. I promise you though it's absolutely not a you problem, I know it's so hard to overcome that mindset because we're constantly confronted w the fact that we live in a world that is not designed for us to thrive in, but it's not a you problem, some people just fucking suck. If I had a boring ass NT brain I'd probably be mad as hell that someone had so many cool things to talk about too, when all I had was a regurgitation of whatever mainstream news was out lately 🙄 If I wasn't easily able to juggle six topics and storylines at once during any conversation I'd be mad too 🙄 If I was the human brain equivalent of flat soda I'd be mad too 🙄 Scorpios do be ruuuuuthlessssss tho, straight out the jungle type ruthless 😂 that's what I love about yall. Yall don't miss, yall don't even play. Your shooters a scorp, they stay hot 😂 But I also really love the fact that Scorpios are so feisty and petty because they are deadass the most loyal fuckin people you've ever met, they've always been through shit and have been hurt and their heart is locked away behind all the walls all their past betrayals built. But if you stick around, put in some elbow grease, show you're a real one? Get past those walls? Actually get to touch that heart that theyve kept so soft and so tender, away from all that damage? They'll never leave you, never ever, theyll never dream of going against you or betraying your trust. They'll ride out for life. You gotta work for em, but they're worth it. And if you finally earn that trust, and then betray it? You go back on a scorp once they've allowed you into the triple-decker high-end-security vault that is their heart? They NEVER forget. They might forgive you, sometime 80 years from now, at your own funeral (which they showed up to looking hotter and more successful and more unbothered than anyone else), but they will never forget. Scorps are soft and extremely sensitive under that exoskeleton. Under it all, they're as soft as a scoop of strawberry ice cream melting in the summer sun. Softiest, sweethearts, good, loyal friends, protective as fuck, scary on the outside but only bevause they have reason to be. Every person I've ever fallen in love with has been a Scorpio for that reason, they fuckin get it. I ain't never had my ass checked quicker or more thoroughly than by a Capricorn, and I ain't never been whipped into shape faster than by an Aries lmfao you're swimmin in it, you're golden, boo. MY ass however hoooo lawd jeebus, I got the taurus moon (sounds of projectile vomiting) which is why these boys easily control my emotions from their fuckin dorm that don't even got a proper curtain rod 😂

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

i am very much enjoying my vague void! it's currently blasting hozier at full volume and that's almost louder than my internal screaming (don't worry, everything is fine, i just saw a spider)

i've never once in my life have followed a recipe correctly. all of my measurements are completely random and whatever happens happens. it is no longer in my hands. whatever eldritch entities exist take the wheel. and i absolutely refuse to spell anything in english without autocorrect because y'all have way too many double letters and random vowel placement

thank you! sadly, i won't have a break right now, because we just had christmas vacations, but the start of the new semester is always pretty chill. and you're absolutely right, i should take up necromancy! the snow and the cold will add to my mysterious vibes. i just need to get a big black cape with a hood to complete the aesthetic

i definitely picture everything above 5'6 feet as the same height. 5'7 and 6'2? the exact same thing. no difference here

how is morepork a real bird name. it's just... more pork? but the bird is magnificent. i completely approve of your first order as bird queen, not that you need approval from mere peasants like me, but it's a great order. ohhh salps look really cool, and it does look a lot like it! when you said boob implant i thought of mermaids and them using salps as boob implants but then i realised wait wouldn't jellyfish be better for that? because of their shape? ignoring their little leggies they're quite boob shaped, no? and then i realised that i was thinking about mermaids and alive boob implants... if i had to think it, you have to read it. i'm sorry

i was sold before but now i'm even more sure that i want to hire you. and I'll make sure to have lactose free cheese for the backflips (unless you want the lactose version? i'm not judging). will the biting of ankles cost extra?

that sounds like a brilliant set-up for a horror movie where they kill off all the children one by one. it's absolutely horrifying. if something like that would've happened to me i would've most likely just passed out. whatever happens afterwards is not my problem. and now i really don't want to know what the hell your leg was caught on because that seems like knowledge that would get me killed

ah so you're a fellow dirt eater? according to my mom my favourite thing to do outside when i was a little kid used to be eating sand. just shovelling handfuls of it into my mouth and crying when my mom made me spit it out. which i refuse to believe. if there are no photos it didn't happen

you warm climate people are starting to make me think that i'm better adjusted to the cold than i thought i am! it's either that or our buildings are better heated. i definitely don't know if anyone else calls hot water bottled hotties but i like it so from now on i'm using it

that's so cute! i was clearly a way more selfish child because when i found any amount of money i just kept it and bought candy as soon as i could. i clearly couldn't save money then and i can't now. we have stores like that (or i'm assuming that they're like that solely based on how they sell lollies) and they used to be my favourite thing because you could get so many lollies for such a small price!! and my mom even used to let me order for myself sometimes so i always felt like a very big girl jsjshsbsjk

also the fact that i can't send pictures on anon is a crime (yes i know why and it's good that that's not possible because can you imagine anons being able to send pictures? oh no is all i have to say about it) but anyways. because i have this one super cursed photo that reminded me of you and now i can't share it :((

duuuuude, sick void bro. sounds like a vibing void. I feel like I haven’t seen a spider in awhile. Other than daddy long legs. But they’re chill. They mind their own business. 

I nearly always follow recipes exactly. My mum is like oh cook this for about 7 minutes? Yeah sure. I’ll take a wild guess. I’m like they say exactly 7 minutes so I’ll set a timer for 7 minutes and start a stopwatch so if it does seem to need more than 7 I can keep an eye on the extra time and be aware of exactly how long it takes me for next time. Other people are like oh let's see I have [lists 5-10 things in their fridge], hmm...oh I know what I could make with that! I’m like I have beans in my freezer because one recipe required them and no other recipes I know how to make do so what am I supposed to do with these now,,, this is stressful,,, basically I barely know how to cook and recipes are the only things saving me in that area. That is entirely fair. Except for the fuck duck, and murder is not the word you want surely, situations, it’s pretty helpful.

Ohhh I see. At least the start is chill! For a little! Before your entire situation spirals out of hand and you’re behind in every class and it’s taken you a whole day to read 10 pages and you’re exhausted and it’s only week 2. Just me? ok. fair. anyway. I want a cloak so bad. One of my uni friends tempted me to class because she said she was wearing a cloak so my depressed ass honest to god dragged myself out of bed and to said class just to see it. It was worth it. They’re incredible. Everyone should own a big cloak for the aesthetic.

I’m glad it isn’t just me hahaha. I can visualise my own height in feet but everything else is just the same size that is a vague amount taller than me, mentally.

It’s also known as the ruru. But the name morepork amuses me. It’s named after the call it makes haha. It does sound like it’s asking for more pork if you know to listen for that. thank u for ur approval, it means a lot, turns out becoming bird queen didn’t ACTUALLY get rid of my anxiety disorder weirdly enough so validation is great! lmaooo. What if the jellyfish stung them tho? At least salps wouldn’t do you dirty like that. The mermaids would just look like there are hundreds of bugs crawling around in their boobs, flesh shifting as they float around. Which is a vibe. If you’re into that. Jellyfish WOULD make a more solid, single, implant, some of them are definitely boob shaped. But that’s kinda boring no one’s gonna be traumatised by that. Salps on the other hand...yeah, that sight will DEFINITELY traumatise someone.

To be PERFECTLY honest I haven’t done a backflip in years but for lactose-free cheese? Dude. I’ll be going back to training. Gonna be the best backflip you’ve ever seen. As long as it’s not Tasty cheese I am content, but lactose free IS better. The biting of ankles will not cost extra, it is a pleasure to be allowed to do that.

Oh it absolutely would be. It’d be very funny if it reached the wider world bc people would probably be like ok but who would send kids into the bush like that,, it’s an odd concept. meanwhile everyone who grew up in nz is gonna be like y’all, you’re not gonna fuckin BELIEVE what i experienced growing up, it’s real dude. On one hand, I feel like murdering kids in a movie is questionable, on the other hand, It exists, so maybe people would be down for it. I feel like it’d be a good concept even if it wasn’t murdery tho. Like psychological horror? I’m not sure if I’m using that category correctly I don’t watch much horror. A kid following the rope but then being shifted into a different horror dimension but they never take the blindfold off because their teachers said not to and they’d probably have to let go of the rope to do it...I feel like this could work super well as a short film. The viewers see everything. The child just knows something is off and no one is coming when they call for help. I am so down for this. I also do not want to know what my leg was caught on. Some things I am better off not knowing.

yes! I am a fellow dirt eater! We had a sandpit at home (that’s a little bold. It was a large plastic shell that my parents filled with sand. technically a sandpit. but not fancy sdflsdkfsdf) but I don’t think I ever tried to eat it. Then again, I possibly did and just don’t remember because there’s no photo evidence of that one. I’d have to ask my parents sdfhsjdfs, I would however fully believe them if they said yes. it’s very characteristic of me. I don’t doubt it for a second. muuuum that’s my emotional support sand don’t make me spit it out smh the disrespect these days.

Oh I’m absolutely terrible even by most people’s standards around here when it comes to cold and hot temperatures. I remember sitting in the sun in my school shirt and school jersey in summer on a blazing day like it’s a bit chilly, isn’t it? Meanwhile my friends were in the shade absolutely dying from the heat. Likewise in winter I’d be shivering, teeth chattering, dying with my long sleeve thermal, my school shirt, my school jersey, my school jacket, my longs, warm socks and sneakers and gloves and school scarf while ppl would be walking around in a shirt and shorts like it’s a bit warm this winter huh? my body didn’t learn how to thermoregulate and it shows. But yeah NZ does also have a reputation for shittily insulated buildings and such. It shows. skhdfsfs if it’s not common use maybe don’t say can i have a hotty to someone without context but otherwise go ahead lmao. it’s a fun shortened version.

I was typically a very good saver, to the point where my extended family started gifting me gift cards and vouchers for Christmas and my birthday because if they just gave me money I’d put it in my bank account to save towards uni once I hit like, 12 years old. Which I think was a smart move. But apparently, I’m supposed to buy myself ‘something nice’ with it. I think I’m still an okay saver but I’m not as strict anymore. I’m aware of how much I can spare and I’m not just like you can never get anything for yourself ever, so I do get lil things for myself sometimes. oooo yay! At least you know what I mean. But yes. They were the gold mine for lollies. Absolutely terrific stores. My mum would be like hey lindsey how about you order? And I’d be like mother, I am 7 years old and I have an undiagnosed anxiety disorder everyone assumes is child shyness why would you think I would want to do that. Instead I will whisper my choices to you. After therapy tho I felt pretty rad for picking my own lollies by myself. I was like 13 at that point but sdfkjhsdf listen I got there in the end.

sdfkjsdfkjhsdf I like that a cursed photo reminded you of me. That’s all I need to hear. Tumblr said no anon dick pics but they also said no anon cursed photos either,,, very sad. for the latter part. the first part thank god. If I could turn on photos on anon I absolutely would just to see this but I don’t think I can :(

[fuck-customers]

Holy Shit Buckle Up Y'all

(TW: mentions of transphobia, racism, and self-harm)

A little backstory:

In November we hired three new people to help with our workload around the holidays, and we've kept them on. Two of them are very hard workers, have great personalities, and nice work ethics. The third, who I will be referring to as J.....does not.

She constantly asks to switch shifts instead of putting in for time off or changing her availability (said that its "inconvenient" for her to change it), if you're even a minute late to covering register for her when she's supposed to get off, she'll just abandon the register and clock out and then shop for thirty minutes, and she is constantly walking away from her post bc she's "bored" and "doesn't feel like working" when there are literally people in line.

So about two weeks ago, she scheduled for five days off. Sweet, shes learning. She then proceeds to call off the day before her five days and the day after. So now she has a week off. Dick move, but I can't say no one has done it before.

Her scheduled day back is a Wednesday. She texts one of my coworkers, P, and asks her to take her shifts for Wednesday AND Thursday. P agrees because she wants more hours, but all of us, including the managers, are irritated now. This is now nine days off she's gotten.

On Wednesday, I got a text from her asking if I could take her shift Friday. Now as of this point, I've been sick all week - hacking my lungs out, not able to breathe, but working bc we're short staffed (bc of her) and bc I need the money. I had Friday and Saturday off for the first time in MONTHS so no way in hell was I gonna take it. I just said no, firmly.

She continues to pester me, asking why, since I don't work Friday I should be able to, etc, and I kind of snapped:

Which, okay, maybe I shouldn't have snapped like that. But I was exhausted and frustrated and so sick of her getting to do this that I just couldn't take it anymore. I expected her to call me a bitch and then ignore me but hoooooo boy nope. (Names are blacked out) (and if this many photos aren't allowed feel free to delete this submission)

First of all, the racism comment:

She was buying cigarettes and even though shes a coworker, I have to ID her bc she's 19 and I can get fired for that shit. She told me she had lost her ID and asked to just put her birthday in. My manager said it was fine, so I did, and I made the offhanded comment about how she should get a new one so she didn't get pulled over by a racist dick while driving. We live in an area where the cops just looovvve to profile people (if you know Ohio, you know where) and I'd had that conversation with so many of my friends that I didn't even think about it, I was just concerned about her getting home safely to her kid. She didn't react negatively at the time, just said "oh I didn't think about that, thanks" and we moved on. If she had really had an issue with it she would have spoken to our managers, so clearly she's only bringing it up now to scare me. I just.....I mean obviously if I am being racist I want someone to tell me so I can fix my actions, but I didn't even think that came off that way in the moment. Maybe I was out of line, but the same thing has happened recently to my 16 year old cousin (he's fine dw) and so its been on my mind.

Second, no, I am not a manager. But aside from four other employees, two of which only work part time, I am one of the oldest members of staff (time wise, not age wise, I'm 23). So the managers put me in charge of a lot of shit, which means that I end up being in charge of people. Which apparently she did not like.

And third no, I do not have a kid. I'm not married, I don't have a partner, and I barely have the income to make half of rent with my roommate sometimes. I would not bring a child into this world if I could help it, and it pissed me off that she would imply that if I had a child, I'd be more mature. I wanted to scream at her and tell her that if having a kid makes you more mature, it clearly didn't work for her. I feel so bad for her kid; he's like two, and she's already constantly using him as an excuse for not doing things and not going to work. She lives with her mom and her boyfriend, so she has a support system (her mom is retired, and a very sweet lady). Like again, I don't have a kid, but all my coworkers who do don't pull this shit ever.

Anyway

I was physically shaking by the end of these texts, crying, because I HATE when people yell at me, especially when they know me IRL. And especially cause she was accusing me of some nasty shit. I sent them all to my manager in the least professional set of texts I'd ever written and then two hours later had to go to work.

My depression was up, my anxiety was through the roof, and as soon as our floater manager asked me if I was okay I burst into tears again. I showed her and the closing manager the texts and they were both appalled but then

They fucking started trying to "comfort" me by making racist comments!!! "Oh, thats just what her people are like" "you know she grew up in the ghetto part of town" "that girl is straight up hood" like!!!!

I was furious. I was so mad it wasn't funny, but they're my MANAGERS and i need this job and they're both old, so they don't think what they're saying is wrong. I tried desperately to derail it by saying things like "where she grew up had nothing to do with it" but they just kept going and I just....that made it so much worse tbh I just walked out of the office to do my fucking job.

A couple hours later, right as I've started to calm down, one of my coworkers started making really transphobic comments about one of our old coworkers who I'm still friends with, deadnaming her, saying that she's allowed to deadname her bc its part of her religion, etc etc.

Y'all I just....walked behind the photo counter and had a fucking meltdown on the floor. I dragged myself to the pharmacy to get their trash so I had SOMETHING to focus on and as soon as I got there the tech took one look at me and held out her arms and I just lost it again.

I go to my manager and basically just ask to do trash and go home. I was supposed to close, and I have left early only once in my life, when we were too dead to need me, but I had just mentally had it. I knew that if I didn't leave in that moment I wasn't going to make it to the end of the night without hurting myself.

She agreed, I finished trash, and got one of my friends to come pick me up.

My GM texts me the next morning (Thursday) and says she's giving me PTO for the hours I didn't work Wednesday night and for my day off on Friday. I almost cried again bc I was so stressed about the money.

Fast forward to a week later, today, and J still has a job, but she has now also called off 16 days in a row. Claiming she's still stuck in Texas with her kid (which was why she was asking to trade shifts last week).

I don't know how much longer my GM can hold out before firing her. I really don't.

Tldr; coworker asks me to take a shift for the hundredth time after calling out for a week, I say no (albeit a bit rudely), they start screaming at me via text, and I have a mental breakdown.

[cuddleslutloki]

I have a genuine question. How often do you actually deal with antis? I've been following you for a bit now and it seems every so often you bring up antis. I've certainly kept my interest about thorki shut and locked away in a box from my friends for the simple fact that all of them think it's incest. It's not an easy topic of conversation but you just seem to handle all the antis so well? Also on an off note about beast!Thor, his favorite pass time must just be rutting into Loki 24/7 🤔

when someone tells you that you're romanticizing abuse [bc i made a stockholm moodboard for a fic] I don't know what I'm supposed to say other than I don't condone it but I write about it? Is writing about abusive relationships bad in writing??? you're the only person i ask for advice so thank you for anything in advance

i’m honestly really glad you came to me. i really do like discussing this topic in this kind of way bc i’ll never reblog an anti or answer an anti ask. even if you’re arguing against them, i don’t think it’s worth it to argue against them if it means also spreading what they’re saying

the basic premise of all anti behavior and ideology is censorship. that’s all it is. 

“i don’t like this topic, you need to stop writing it and making art for it. if you don’t stop there will be consequences.”

that is censorship and that is the kind of shit fandom has had to fight ever since there’s been fandom. women, poc, lgbt+ folks have been dealing with people telling us what we can and can’t write and enjoy for... well, probably forever. but we’re still here, creating the kind of content we want to see and indulge in.

as far as how to deal with antis, my advice is to ignore, ignore, ignore. they want what any bully wants: attention

you stop paying attention, you stop giving them time they don’t deserve from you, they’ll die off. there’s no point in fighting them directly. produce the content you want to see and enjoy what you want to enjoy. drown them out. you don’t owe them a response just because they come to you. they don’t have any qualms about being rude to you, so be rude back and just ignore them. i love blocking antis, personally. take out the garbage, y’know?

antis use the words ship and support as synonyms because they think that shipping is some radical call to action for lgbt rep instead of entertainment

shipping is not activism. shipping is about entertainment and enjoyment, nothing more

so this is why i have this very blasé attitude about antis. i just don’t give a fuck about them beyond making posts trashing their idiocy. because that’s what it is. it’s idiocy, but going deeper it’s puritanism at its finest. antis use fox news scare tactic logic under the guise of some pseudo feminist agenda because they don’t understand and don’t want to understand that enjoying dark fiction as entertainment isn’t equivalent to some greater moral stance

they use the same argument about shipping and fanfiction that WASP moms use against video games and loud music: that enjoying and consuming it will make you think it’s normal and there’s nothing wrong with it irl

okay, well, vlad the impaler never played CoD or far cry and caligula never watched hentai but we know why i’m bringing them up in this context without even heading over to wikipedia, don’t we?

they use the words abuse and pedophilia waaaaaayy too liberally and they’re doing more harm than good because they’re twisting and warping words that should have very specific meanings by using them so goddamn vaguely and irresponsibly 

my own personal theory is that these people are terrified that if they don’t yell in opposition to these topics 24/7 and actively attack content creators that they’d probably enjoy it, and they’ve been so programmed by the echo chamber of tumblr and twitter that they think this means they’re bad people. 

spoiler alert: that’s not what it means

i literally watched a circle jerk on twitter where screenshots of some mafia starker au got tweeted and retweeted w/ pictures of someone pouring bleach into cereal and people had asked to see more of the post. if you really don’t like something, you shouldn’t hate-read about it. it’s not productive, it does more harm than good if that’s the actual issue rather than some reverse psychology-style enjoyment they’re probably getting out of it.

they claim to hate this shit so much, but they’re reading hundreds and thousands of words and putting these images in their heads of their own free will. i don’t do that with shit i genuinely dislike. i avoid it.

i see antis say they enjoy thorki fanart because they think it’s cute, then they see it’s tagged thorki and they have an over the top reaction because the nature of anti ideology states you should never enjoy something like that, so if you do then you have to make the excuse of ignorance to prove that you’re still innocent and pure. enjoyment is apologism to them because they aren’t content to simply attack fan creators, they want to try and drive away the people who consume our art as well because they know you’re the cornerstone of fandom. consumers are why creators create. yeah, i write because i enjoy it, but i also write to connect to my readers and have people commenting on my fics when they like them.

it’s also worth noting that antis only ever talk about shipping. they only talk about sexual and romantic ships. i’ve never seen an anti talk about (often extreme) levels of violence in canon source material for the ships and characters they want to froth at the mouth over. 

seeing someone bleed out and choking on their own blood after being stabbed or shot or bludgeoned? meh

seeing a character who was once a child have a sexual thought about a character who was also once a child and is also their close friend? omg why are we trying to make fandom unsafe for people?

personally, i’ve also noticed that fandoms with darker canon material tend to have more chill fandoms most of the time. i think it also depends on the average age in a given fandom. there’s a major difference between fannibals and steven universe fans, let’s just say that.

creating a moodboard for a dark fic is not “romanticizing abuse” and at this point antis honestly have no fucking idea what that phrase is. they use those words the way a bored CEO uses social media buzzwords and hashtags in a staff meeting

if antis want to see true romanticizing of abuse then they can go to serial killer thirst tags and spot the fucking differences between shippers and people who forget that ted bundy was weak, flaccid, cowardly piece of shit

writing something dark or violent or whatever else and condoning the act or doing the act are different. this is why stephen king isn’t under government surveillance or in prison.

make no mistake, this anti shit only applies to fandom. they’re attacking creators here because creators out at the professional levels don’t give a fuck. they’ve tried, and they’ve failed. 

creators at the professional level understand something antis don’t: that being able to reconcile your enjoyment of dark media can be a sign of emotional intelligence and good emotional health. it’s cathartic. it’s allowed to be cathartic.

the most common consumers of dark fiction are members of minority communities and people who’ve been emotionally and/or sexually repressed for one reason or another. 

antis want to say that fiction doesn’t exist in a vacuum and they are 100% correct! because writing fanfiction and original fiction that relates to parts of my life that nearly killed me gives me control over something that was beyond me in the original context. writing about fucked up codependent, violent romance allows me to process my shit in a way that’s healthy and produces something fun and enjoyable.

my therapist knows i ship thorki, she knows i write thorki. i’ve had her read pieces of fanfiction i’ve written in addition to pieces of original fiction. y’know what she said? “wow, baylen, that’s vivid. you have a way with words!”

i read her a line out of smart boy and told her what the story was about and this trained professional said “well it’s a productive way to process some emotion that you clearly need to let out”

but you know what? if someone doesn’t have the trauma i have? let them write it, too! let them create and enjoy the fictional content they want! more cake, y’all!

finally getting around to one of the first parts of your ask, lol. thorki is incest. thor and loki are brothers. they were raised believing they were blood brothers, even. loki being adopted doesn’t change a thousand years of personal history where thor looked at loki and thought that they came out of the same woman, y’know? 

that’s his brother and in the comics his attachment to loki is even more intense. the mcu nerfed that shit. loki’s life has been intrinsically tied to thor’s ability to feel a full sense of joy. 

enjoying an incest ship isn’t some sign of moral depravity. writing abusive relationships isn’t bad. gone girl was made into an award winning movie. art should look like life, and sometimes life fucking sucks. dark stories, sad stories, fucked up holy shit idk if i can go to sleep after i read this stories exist for a reason. we need them. we have to have an outlet for our frustration, our anger, and especially our fear.

so which is the healthier option of these

to write up a piece of fanfiction where two siblings are in love in a way that might be cute and soft or might be destructive, depending on your mood?

or

attacking strangers you don’t know online and threatening violence against anyone who doesn’t think like you do?

i know what kind of person i want to be.

ship and let ship, thanks for reading my doctoral thesis office hours are always

[sluttycumfessions]

How do I eat out my girlfriend properly? We've been dating for just over a year and I've only made her cum once but I want to do it again

this is my favorite question bc my favorite thing ever is going down on my girlfriend. Like, the moment I started dating her I didn't feel confident because she brought up her old flings and that didn't sit right with me.but then when I went down on her she was shaking and pulling on my hair and uuuuuugh I felt like I was on top of the WORLD. anyway. crash course on eating out your woman 101:1. Don't just dive into it, as much as girls like that, they also don't. Sounds confusing, but trust me! I know this is foreplay for straight people but for two gay chicks I'm basically fucking her at this point so it might be different who knows. Anyway, kiss her thighs a lil bit. Put hickeys here or there, she'll be waiting really impatiently for you to just do it but just tell her you wanna take care of her and all that.(fun tip: tie their arms to the head board so they move more, there's so much satisfaction in watching that)2. Clit stimulation is a girls only stimulation. The first time I ate my gal out I was just kinda everywhere. I was getting frustrated and tired and I knew I was losing her interest because I didn't feel anything or hear her. She was so bored. Then I pressed the tip of my tongue into her clit and she fucking SPAZZED out. So I kept hitting that shit and she had to yank me up because she was feeling so much. 3. Start with just licking up her whole pussy. You gotta get a feel for what you're dealing with, amiright? Yes, I am. I'm a girl, and I'm dating another girl. I'm pretty sure I know what I'm doing. Anyway, feel her everything and experiment a bit. See what makes her breathe harder. Not all girls are the same. Maybe she likes being tongue fucked, who knows? Anyway4. Once you really have her going, grab her thighs and just yank her forward. Girls love it rough. Not like, beat the shit out of them rough, but all girls love to know that you're strong enough to pull them closer to them. I love doing that shit. And just eat her the fuck out at this point. Grab her thighs, sit up on yours, yank her forward so her lower half is basically off the back and on you and just go crazy.I hope you learned something, if not, maybe just buy her a vibrator for Christmas 😴

[somanypetals]

ok ok ok. are you a spuffy fan? i feel like i've seen spuffy on yr blog and if that's not true then please ignore but i've been thinkin recently and i'm very interested in what you think/how you reconcile spike's attempted rape?? bc as a spuffy fan i love them together but i also can't ignore this part of their history in good conscience. was it ooc? was their relationship building to a horrible climax? i'm just very interested in what people think abt that writing decision

omg I’m sorry for taking so long to answer this, I wrote like half an essayand then firefox crashed and I got grumpy about it for a few days lol ;___;

anyway in short: do I ship it? yes. is my relationship with the shipcomplicated? fuck yes. can I reconcile the attempted rape? on a base level, no.on a character level, I am able to move past it but not look past it. on awriting level, I don’t reconcile it at all. was it ooc? yes and no,which is the interesting part

this got really long and I’m hoping that I can remember everything I wassaying before I had to start all over again (rip) but I’m sorry it got so longunder the cut

so I do still ship spuffy, but I have a really complicatedrelationship with it. I’ve shipped it since I was a tween, before I reallyunderstood the unhealthy parts of it (rape scene aside, which I was very clearon), and I’ve come to see those in a new light the past five or so years, butI’m still also someone who is very adamant about people being allowed to shipwhatever the fuck they want in fiction whether it’s unhealthy or not becauseit’s fiction, and at the end of the day I’m shipping something because I findit entertaining or interesting, not because it’s the paradigm of relationshipexamples. in fact most of the time it’s not, because I find most of thoserelationships boring on screen. so like, I do still ship it, but not the way Iused to?

 anyway, was it ooc? in terms of mythology canon I don’tthink it was ooc at all. spike had no soul, he was at a base level evil. I don’t think this excuses theattempted rape at all, nothing excuses it or forgives it, but it does explain abit how the spike who dressed buffy’s hand wounds at the start of the seasonwas the same spike who flipped a switch and attempted to rape her near the endof the season. spike never became “good” when he had no soul, he was like aferal animal on a leash. he learnt to play relatively nice with others andbecame fond of some of his owners, but he still wasn’t cured and if you tookthe leash off at the end of the day he would have bitten them. yes, spike lovedbuffy in his own soulless way, but he still had a literal, animalistic demoninside him (we even see in angel in over the rainbow etc. what the actual demoninside vampires is like at its base level) and no soul to control it—only theintellectual knowledge that some actions would get him in buffy’s good booksand some would get him in buffy’s bad books and so he kept it under controlbecause he wanted her and he also wanted to not be killed by the scooby gang.again: this does not excuse the attempted rape at all. nothing forgives it. butlike, it does explain why buffy and many viewers are able to move past it. Idon’t think that on a mythology canon level it was ooc at all, I think thatpeople just forget that spike was stillevil when he was being nice to buffy or dawn or joyce. I think that’s partof the reason it’s so hard to piece together whether spuffy really could workor be good as a ship, because the show never separates spike with a soul fromspike without a soul the way they did with angel. with angel it’s so clearlytwo different people, but with spike it’s a muddy mess of the same thing and ifyou don’t write spike with a soul differently to how you wrote him withoutone—how are viewers supposed to forgive him for what he did?

 was it ooc on a character level though? that’s a wholedifferent thing because that opens the can of worms of spike being ooc ingeneral. the spike we see in season four onwards is drastically different fromthe spike we see in season two, and I do think part of that is just plain oldcharacter development but I also think that part of that is due to them wantinga slightly different character when he became a regular? spike was almost woobified by his own writing team? I don’t thinkit’s anything like the character assassination of britta for example, and Iwouldn’t even call it character assassination, but I do think that at somepoint late during season three or early season four they decided they wanted aspike who was funnier, a bit more sympathetic, and a bit more worthy of being afan fave. it's less like character assassination and more like characteradaptation? I feel like they saw that james had this excellent comedicpotential and wanted to use that, and I’ve seen that with other characters onshows too. I think they had to bend spike a bit along the way to get the spikethey wanted and who they could have fun with. he went from spike the genuinelychilling villain, to spike the comedic relief, to spike the stalker, to spikethe coping mechanism, to spike the love interest…and it definitely wasn’t astraight line of development. they definitelyhad to bend the character along the way and lose some of what was thereoriginally and add some of what wasn’t there. and like, it’s not necessarily abad thing, like I fuckin love comic relief spike and I can totally understandwhy they might’ve been like “fuck this james guy is good we want more of that”,but I do think that on a character level they ended up with something that wasquite frequently messy. if you’ve taken this villain and woobified himyourself, then even if he is still evilit’s not surprising that people are surprised or find it ooc for him to attemptto rape buffy because they made him a puppy with a temper instead of a wolfwith a playful streak, and then suddenly his fangs come out again. andobviously to a degree that was the point of it, to remind viewers that he wasevil and he wasn’t good and buffy forgot that, the scoobies forgot that, everyoneforgot that, but at the same time if you woobify a character that much doesthat point land? or does it just become ooc? I think a spike in love with buffyand protecting dawn and getting flowers after joyce died could be consideredjust as ooc as a spike who attempted to rape buffy. he became a bit of a messycharacter if you really think about it for too long, and they never separatedhis soulless state from his soul-having state enough to keep track of it

 so anyway, on a character level I’m able to move past itbecause I think at the end of the day…spike didn’t have a soul when it happenedand he was written kind of weirdly over the course of the show but I still likehim. I move past it as a viewer because I wantto move past it, and because I find the spuffy relationship interesting (yet Istill want more/better for buffy always? man, I said it was complicated hahah)

 NOW, FROM A WRITING STANDPOINT

 bullshit bullshit utter fucking bullshit.

 why though? well apart from the reasons I’ve already mentionedabout kind of messy character writing and it being impossible to tell whichparts of spike are ooc or not…………the attempted rape scene was not about buffy,before during or after it happened

 they wrote it as a gateway to spike’s redemption arc. theytraumatised their main character, this beautiful female character and one of mytop favourite characters of all time, to boost a man’s redemption arc, andthat’s just fucking awful and we’ve seen it too many times and buffy doesn’t deserver that bullshit.

 now I don’t know whether there’s a solid answer on whetheror not spike went to that demon at the end of season six to get his soul or toget his chip removed, but it also like…doesn’t matter, lol? I personally alwaysread that scene as he went to get his chip removed so he could kill her, andthen the demon was like lol psych herehave a soul! which I think also makes it easier for me to move past theattempted rape, because then it didn’t literally lead to him choosing to go have a redemption arc andbecome a better man for her, but like a lot of people do read it the secondway. and either way!! it’s a crock of shit!!

 not only did they put in this scene so they could kickstartspike’s redemption, instead of picking some other non-rape or non-violence againstbuffy related plot point to lead to him getting a soul, but then they sort ofmade it all about spike in season seven too?

 they do address bits and pieces of buffy’s trauma afterwardsand how it impacted her, but way way too much of the focus was placed onspike’s guilt and spike’s wanting to fix it and how it impacted spike etc., sonot only did they have buffy almost raped to kickstart a man’s storyline, butthey barely focused on her trauma over the “trauma” of spike and that’sjust…fucking awful. like it makes me so mad and it makes me feel so gross.

 as a writing decision I think it’s sexist, disgusting, lazyand unforgivable and the biggest fault with what is literally my favourite tvshow of all time lol (you wouldn’t think it is from this rant?? but it is?? andI like spike and ship spuffy??? god this is a mess) and I think it was probablythe worst fucking writing decision on all of buffy (and this is the show thatkilled tara, a literal lesbian angel)

 and honestly……the fact that I am aware of and think it’s theworst writing decision possible almost makes it easier to move past from acharacter standpoint? because it was a bad writing decision, it takes some ofthe weight off of spike’s actions for me and I’m aware that it was stupid and grossand it would’ve been better if spike tripped and accidentally fell into a gravethat had a stray soul in it that he inhaled.

 I don’t know if that makes sense, in fact I don’t know ifany of this makes sense…but it’s like: spuffy is interesting. to me they havechemistry, they have narrative and trope appeal (even though it wasn’tfulfilled, or wasn’t fulfilled right), they are two characters I likeindividually, and so…I continue to ship it and enjoy it despite the horriblefucking bad writing decisions that went down in season six. I know that evenwithout the attempted rape season or even without season six it’s still anunhealthy ship and it’s problematic (and I want better for buffy at the end ofthe day), but it is at a base level to me entertaining, and that’s what I likefrom my ships

 god this is almost two thousand words I’m so sorry I have alot of thoughts and I had to rewrite half of this so it’s really, really scattered and confusing butlike…yes I ship it, no I don’t think the attempted rape was a good writingdecision, no I don’t excuse or forgive it but I do move past it

 and in answer to what other people feel about the scene andship….it’s really divided lol, a lot of people feel like I do, a lot of peopleprefer bangel, a lot of people prefer spuffy, a lot of people can’t look pastthe rape at all, a lot of people look past the rape too easily, and a lot of people probably don’t know what to thinkor have no strong opinions lol

 god

this is two thousand words I’m sorry