#like i know it was for a joke but the entire previous season established her as a bit grating but genuinely A GOOD THERAPIST

[aj-lenoire]

THE NEW BOYFRIEND IS THE THERAPIST???

AS IN THE RELATIONSHIP THERAPIST WHO TED EXPLICITLY MENTIONED WAS MICHELLE’S PERSONAL THERAPIST FIRST???

THAT THERAPIST???

HEY ASSHOLE IT’S FUCKING ILLEGAL TO SLEEP WITH YOUR CLIENTS

[wildemaven]

strangers : climax | dave york

pairing: dave york x fireader word count: 6307 content warning: 18+ blog; established relationship, workaholic Dave, Soft Dave, miscommunication, implied/ alluding to infidelity (there is none, reader just doesn't know this), Dave's phone deserves its own warning, mention of food and alcohol consumption, a moment in a dressing room where reader inspects her reflection/self image judgments, smut (oral f receiving, fingering, semi public sex, kissing after oral, public affection, some praise if you squint), angst and sad feels, somewhat jealous Dave in a kind of joking manner, lots of tears, reader is mentioned wearing a dress and jeans- but zero description features, no age given but it's implied she's at least over 30, no y/n, established relationship, this is au- no Carol or kids, if I missed anything let me know notes: it's finally here!!! I'm so sorry it took so long to get this chapter out into the world. I was working through lots of writing blocks, kids, travel, and sickness. But it's finally here!!!! This one is a doozy in so many ways but I'm so excited for it!! I'm so grateful for everyone who takes the time to read, share, comment and like each chapter of this series. I'm sad it's almost over!!

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It’s almost sadistic. Taunting every single fiber of your being as each chord of the melody, so perfectly orchestrated, looms over the hotel bar. 

Your body betrays you. So easily giving in to the song's familiarity as each word reverberates through your chest. Flashes of Dave dressed in black, spinning you in front of your closest family and friends drowned out the urge to ask for the song to be skipped. 

The liveliness of the crowd pouring into the dimly lit space helps block out the music. Your fingers swirl around the condensation slowly settling around your drink that sits untouched on the mahogany bar top. Your mind sifting through the day's events leading up to this moment, where you’re sitting alone, annoyance raging in your veins, in a dress you're starting to regret buying. 

*

Lunch was relaxed and pleasant. The oceanfront views of the small cafe were something straight out of a movie. The weather was warm enough to enjoy the patio dining, a subtle breeze cutting through periodically. The ocean swells breaking masked the bustle of beach goers and passing cars. It was everything you had wanted to experience in this beautiful city.

Dave had been fully present since the intimate moment you both shared back at the hotel. More than he had been the entire trip thus far. Keeping you close to him, his hands never leaving you once stepping out of the room. As if to silently say I’m all here with you and I love you. 

You relished in the closeness of him. Internally screaming with increasing avidity at his electrifying advances all afternoon. 

Pulling your chair closer to where he sat so his free hand could nestle between your thighs. Too focused on twirling the pasta around your fork between discussing the most current events Dave had read in the morning paper while waiting for you to return from your walk. 

Growing and falling Stocks. Government scandals that could trickle down and affect parts of his job. National affairs of all levels that jumped out to him. All things you hadn’t really kept up with until meeting Dave, were now things you looked forward to listening to him talk about and giving your input with your own perspective. 

It's when Dave starts discussing something about sports or sports related that throws you off balance. Not necessarily so much in what he’s saying, but in what he’s doing when he’s saying it. 

“So if they draft him this year, he’ll be a starting rookie…” Dave says as he shifts forward in his chair to adjust his position, hand slightly shifting where it still rests between your legs, his pinky sliding up the crotch seam of your denim with an ample amount of pressure. 

“I’ve got money on him this season…” Your mind is too cloudy to even focus on what he’s saying. 

An instant jolt of arousal splinters across your body, you use your napkin to hopefully muffle the moan you nearly choke on. Oh! It’s deliberate, Dave’s expression collected and unphased as he carries on, continuing to drag his digit up and down the thick layer of fabric. 

“You okay, Honey?” He smirks, applying a little more weight behind his touch, before directing his attention to the server passing by the table and signaling for the check.

“Mmhmm— y-yeah! I’m fine. Great!” Your voice pitches at an unusual tone, frantically nodding in response as you wring the napkin between your fingers trying to not succumb to the pleasure currently building in your core. 

It’s a tragic feeling when his hand abandons the heat of your thighs. His focus now is on inspecting the bill, pulling his wallet from his back pocket and tucking the proper amount of cash into the server’s book. 

“That’s good.” He says all blasé as he looks at you with deadpan expression, situating his wallet in place again. 

“Oh my god— Dave! You are the worst!” You toss your napkin at him, shaking your head as you laugh at his flirtatious behavior. 

*

A proper casualness flows between the two of you following lunch— a familiar domesticity that had become so foreign to you. It now almost seems too far-fetched to think things have been strained in the last few months leading up to today and this seemingly perfect afternoon with Dave. 

A stitch of guilt begins to weave through your mind as you take in Dave’s unreserved laughter and the way he looks so, extremely happy. Maybe you were premature in believing that there was anything wrong to begin with. 

There’s a liveliness to Dave that has felt so rare to witness as of recently. No signs of stress. No closed off demeanor. No inkling of any distress that threatens to disrupt a marriage you so desperately desire to keep intact. 

He’s remarkably your Dave— through and through. 

The sun becomes far more dominating as the day passes. It’s fiery intensity has you squinting as you step out of the cute little ice cream shop you dragged Dave into after lunch. 

Thankfully you’re more than prepared. A pair of dark sunglasses now perched on the bridge of your nose and the light fabric tank you opted for thanks to Dave’s attentive nature for planning, always checking the weather forecast incessantly as he sips from his morning coffee.

It’s no surprise at the influx of tourists that crowd the sidewalk as you both amble about. Your arm wrapped around Dave, his free hand gently resting at the nape of your neck, both of you working against the heat to keep your ice cream from dripping down the cone. 

There’s a silence that hangs around the enjoyment of the summer treat, but it’s not uncomfortable. People watching and window shopping paired with brief moments of sweet banter have seemed to reignite the flame that had slowly begun to dwindle. 

“Woah!” A swarm of teenagers rocketing by on skateboards out of nowhere has you stunned, several of them nearly knocking into you. 

“What the fuck!” Dave’s quick like reflexes immediately turn on and he’s pulling you into his chest as the last few of the trailing skateboarders roll by. “Get off the sidewalk before you hurt someone, you punks!” 

“Yeah yeah! Fuck off old man!” The last of the bunch, a typical backwards hat wearing unphased teen, yells over his shoulder raising his middle finger as he skates off into the distance. 

“You okay?” Dave asks, giving you a quick once over. 

“I’m fine. They didn’t hit me— just startled me more than anything.” You assure him. 

“Still— those little assholes almost sideswiped you. And that little fucker calling me an old man?” Dave grumbles, following your lead to continue walking despite wanting to track down the group and give them a piece of his mind. 

“Easy, they’re just having fun. If I remember correctly, you too were once a little asshole. There’s a laundry list of stories your mom has shared with me to back that up too.” He scoffs at your comment, knowing exactly which stories his mom has divulged to you about his wild adolescent years. 

Your favorite being when a senior year prank almost resulted in suspension and losing scholarships. Dave and a few of his high school friends had decided to toilet paper and egg the principal’s home one night. The group of teens had thought they pulled it off until they came to school and their pictures were plastered in every classroom— security cameras were not taken into account while planning such a prank. Dave’s parents caught wind of the incident and the missing rolls of TP from their home and forced Dave to turn himself in. Dave confessed as a lone prankster, adamant that he didn’t know who the other students were in the images, resulting in tutoring lower grade classmates the remainder of the semester and a few weekends of community service. 

“I’m not an old man.” He murmurs against your temple, pressing his lips to your warm skin. His hand settles into your back pocket directing his attention to his almost finished ice cream. 

“Didn’t say you were.” Grinning at his annoyance. “Your mom earlier— How is she? Everything okay?”

“She’s good. Everything’s good. Just checking in. Making sure we’re settling in okay here— you know how she is.” It feels like he’s saying a lot without saying much of anything. 

“Yeah— definitely sounds like her. Feels like it’s been forever since I’ve talked to her. We should invite them over for dinner when we get back. Proper catch up— share about our trip with them in person.” You look at him, his head nodding along at the suggestion. 

You’ve always had a close relationship with his mother, Carol. Weekly trips to the farmers market and coffee dates became a regular thing after you and Dave married. Family dinners took place once a month, rotating between each other’s houses or restaurants. Carol never wanted to be one of those overbearing mother in laws, always making sure that you and Dave didn’t feel suffocated by her and Dave’s dad’s presence. 

“Okay. I’ll umm— I’ll call her when we get back. See what her and dad’s calendar looks like. I’m sure they’ll jump at the chance to get together, since our busy schedules haven’t seemed to line up in the last few months.” 

“Perfect.” 

There’s a beat of silence that follows making plans with his parents. Like there was more he wanted to say but left it unsaid. You don’t push for more and let any needling thought dissolve. 

“How was it?” Dave points to the remaining milky soup that’s settled into the top of your semi soggy cone. 

“It was delicious.” You tell him, then lapping at a few random drips racing down your wrist with your tongue, savoring the last of its salty sweetness.

“Let me have a taste of it.” He says, pulling you both out of the main flow of people walking behind you. 

“What? You don’t even like this flavor, Mr. Vanilla is the only flavor that truly matters.” You playfully mock his go-to choice of a single scoop of plain vanilla, not even a punch of vanilla bean or a sprinkling of chocolate chunks— he’s a simple man. 

“Maybe my taste buds have evolved?” He counters, pulling you flush against him under the shade of a store awning. “Give me a taste.” 

Everything around you fades to the background, it’s just the two of you. Dave’s lips molding to yours. His tongue gently skims over your lower lip, silently seeking entrance. 

It’s unhurried and thorough. A stark contrast from the chilly sensation that still lingers from the frozen dessert and the heat emanating from the way Dave’s tongue languidly traces over every bit of surface he can reach. Dizzying your senses, your mind fully immersed in the way he still tastes of sweet vanilla as he explores every detail of your mouth. Lapping at the remnants of the melted salted caramel that coats your tongue. 

It’s vulnerable and thrilling— feeling so right and fully present together. 

Your ice cream cone falls from your hand, crashing hard on the cement walkway, giving you the freedom to wrap your hands around his neck and relax even more into the kiss as Dave guides you through it. His hand squeezes your ass through your denim pocket, securing you against him. His other hand cradles your face as he swallows the small moans you produce when he nips tenderly at your bottom lip. 

“Dave—“ Is the only coherent word you can think of when he finally breaks the kiss. Your fingers tighten around his short hair as you float back to the ground. 

“I like the way it tastes on you. Might be my new favorite flavor.” He smiles, releasing small puffs of his breath over your lips. 

*

It was the first shop that caught your attention, the front display had you stopping in your tracks. Your initial interest to merely window shop, a signal to Dave that you were interested in the possibility of checking out more of their inventory. 

“Sweetheart? You doing okay in there?” Dave asks cautiously, as if to not scare off any potential decisions you might be deliberating over from behind the velvet curtain of the dressing room. 

It’s nothing new, a song and dance you’ve been through before— turning and inspecting from head to toe. Your mind in an epic battle with the reflection framed in front of you, dreading anytime you step foot in anything that resembles a fitting room. 

Except this time you’re not tearing apart every little thing about what you’re seeing, finding all the negative reasons as to why this particular dress isn’t working.

It’s the complete opposite, because you love the dress and you can see yourself wearing it on many occasions without a doubt. 

An ambered hue that reminds you of autumn when the leaves turn, and Dave spending hours in the yard gathering pile after pile while you bake a seasonal pie, watching him from the kitchen window. 

The tiered tulle fabric plucks a peculiar scene from your memory. Its flowy and dramatic silhouette is reminiscent of the dress you had worn to last year’s CIA Gala. Dave kept you close for the entirety of the evening. Your arm wrapped around his as he talked with colleagues, some new whose names you wouldn’t remember and others who had slowly worked their way into a more permanent place in your lives with regular dinner parties and monumental celebrations. Dave’s hand planted on the small of your back, his thumb drawing soft shapes where your dress strategically exposed your back, you were his grounding force among a sea of highly regarded men and their significant others.

“Hey- is everything okay?” Dave’s head now visible as he pulls the curtain back just enough to check in with you, his hushed tone barely audible over the upbeat music that the trendy boutique has playing through the store. 

“Yeah, everything’s fine.” You say flatly as you continue to inspect your reflection, the hang tag with the bold asking price of the dress held between your restless fingers.

“Wow— Sweetheart, you look… Wow!” Speechless. Dave stands stunned behind you, taking in every bit of you, completely captivated.

“Yeah? It feels like a lot. I have a dress back at the room I can wear instead…” You say, watching the arduous battle he’s sorting through in his mind, his smitten smirk doing wonders to help settle your dress turmoil.

“No— No this, this is perfect. I love it so much. You definitely should get this one.” Dave says persuasively, a beat of sensualism exuding from where he now stands with his chest flush to your back, his hands attempting to bypass the layers of fabric in search of somewhere to efficiently affix himself to you. “Reminds me of that dress you wore to the Gala last year. You looked stunning. So much so I couldn’t keep my hands off of you the entire night. Pulled you into that closet and fucked you while the awards ceremony carried on.”

“Hmm, I remember.” You smile, your stomach flipping at the way he so vividly remembers that evening too. “But the price is a little much though. Like too much.” Dropping the price tag, allowing it to hang freely from the dress instead of mocking your sticker shop distress.

“Don’t worry about the price— it’s fine.” You gasp when he connects with your skin, a shiver zipping up your spine, his lips fervent and assertive as they work up the expanse of your neck.

Dave’s hand catches your head as it tips to the side, allowing him more ample space to roam. Your skin in his teeth triggers a soft whimper in your throat, your eyes fluttering closed as you get lost in the sensation of him.

It’s a blur of calculated movements on his part, your body receptive to his smooth control, moving along with ease until your back settles against the wall of the dressing room. The carpeted floor envelops the sound of him falling to his knees. Dave’s eyes glazed over as he stares up at you, their usual golden hue dappled with gleaming eagerness. His hands fumble with the hem of the dress skirt briefly, delighted when he finally manages to breach the abundant layers of fabric. The brush of his fingers on your skin as his hands skim up your legs is all the forewarning you’re given before he’s pulling down and removing the lace panties that you’ve been soaking through all afternoon because of him.

“Dave— what are you doing?” A breathless question, one you don’t really need a response to as he looks up to you one more time, his pointer finger resting on his mouth then lifting your leg over one of his shoulders. 

He takes in the sight of your glistening wetness, his mouth watering at how you’re dripping for him. The urge to taste you is strong and he gives into it fully. 

From above all you can see is bunched fabric and brown tousled locks when he connects to you, his angular nose pressed into the patch of hair that covers your mound, that first tentative kiss to your sex delicate and heady. The soft pressure of his flat tongue has your eyes rolling back when he starts to lick up and down, savoring the deliciously sweet taste of your arousal. Desire forging through your body with a deep buzzing intensity. 

“Oh fuck! If we get caught— Ah!Shit. Dave— Baby, that feels amazing—” You purr in what you hope is a hushed tone, tilting your pelvis just so, a dire need for a climactic release. 

Dave’s tongue moves in slow circles, teasing and flicking at your clit. His ministrations causing a slow tingle to build in your lower abdomen, steadily increasing in strength as he goes. 

“Ma’am, how’s everything going in there?” The store attendant asks, completely unaware of the lewdness taking place on the other side of the current. 

“Mmhmmm! Great! The dress is p-perfect!!” Your voice shoots up an octave when Dave inserts two fingers into your fluttering pussy in one quick thrust, moving them in and out, matching the rhythm of his tongue on your aching clit. 

“That’s so great to hear. If you need any help, don’t hesitate to holler.” She says before you hear the clicking of her boots retreating. 

You are squirming and quietly moaning, your knees nearly buckling as the fiery pleasure gains momentum, completely lost in the blissful sensation.

“You hear that, Baby. She said don’t hesitate to holler. Doing so good for me— I can never get enough of you!” His fingers hitting that delicious little spot that makes your toes curl, over and over again. 

“Dave— don’t stop!” And he doesn’t. 

He senses the tension building in your body, your walls seizing up around his deft fingers, intensifying his movements, his tongue lapping at every inch of your folds as your arousal runs down his hand. 

“Baby, I'm coming.” You say right before your jaw goes slack, a silent whine only noticeable to you and Dave fills the small space. Your vision dusted in white, a euphoric sensory cloud of light bursting behind your eyes. 

Dave catches you when it becomes too much to stand, whimpering at the loss of his fingers seated so firmly inside you. 

Your skin is dewy. Glowing under the small dressing room light. The beads of sweat running down the length of your neck, sliding down the slopes of your breast, migrating somewhere below the fabric of the dress. 

Dave catches a few salty drops, his tongue trailing over your clavicle makes you aware that he has removed himself from the underside of the skirt. 

You taste the brininess and the sweet tang of your arousal when he licks into your mouth. Zero time to catch your breath, his tongue tangling effortlessly with yours. 

“Hmmm— I take back what I said earlier. I love the way you taste— only flavor for me!” He says smirking against your tingling lips. 

“You are such a menace. But I love you for it.” You pull him in for one last chaste kiss. 

“I love you so much, Sweetheart.” He kisses your forehead, then bends to pick up your discarded panties, stuffing them in his front pocket. 

“Seems like it would be wrong to not buy the dress after that little move you pulled.” Giggling as you begin the process of undoing the back zipper. 

“Knew that would help sway your decision.” He says with an impish grin and wink. 

*

Your reservation has come and gone. 30 minutes to be exact. Misery and frustration fill your veins as you stir the tiny straw in the watered-down concoction. The cocktail-soaked cherry, normally your inaugural sprinkling of how well the drink was mixed, now lays overlooked and forgotten at the bottom of the glass.

The bartender, who checks in with you like clockwork every 10 minutes or so to see if you needed a refill albeit your obvious lack of consumption from the original drink he made, has shown zero annoyance over the fact that you have taken up space in not one, but two chairs at his bustling bar. Your small clutch placed in front of the empty seat reserved for your husband who was supposed to meet you here an hour ago.

*

Dave and you had made your way back to the hotel after purchasing the dress, giving yourselves plenty of time to get ready for the evening Dave had planned out.

It was hard to keep your hands off each other. a magnetic effervescence had you contemplating whether to call off the reservation all together despite Dave’s ecstatic adamancy to make it to the reservation on time. Both of you managed to work against the intense pull, only sharing shy glances and brushing of limbs standing side by side in front of the bathroom mirror while getting ready.

Dave didn’t shy away from flattering you as he helped zip you in, causing you to fight against tears that threatened to ruin the dramatic makeup that paired perfectly with your dress.

I love you. You are so beautiful. How did I get so lucky? I can’t wait to get you out of this dress later.

Dave’s hand molds to yours, a corner of his mouth lifted as you eagerly drag him from your hotel room. Taking advantage of the privacy the small offshoot hallway provides from the main corridor of the floor, he draws you back to him and without hesitation he kisses you with a fiery tenderness. 

“Alright. We need to go.” He says, breathless and not all that convincing. 

“Do we though? We could just swipe the key, make our way back inside, order room service— you can get me out of this dress. See what I may or may not be wearing underneath.” You murmur against his smile, your tongue sensually gliding over the underside of his upper lip causing him to release a heavy sigh, as if he really wants to do exactly just that. 

“You drive a hard bargain, Sweetheart. And as enticing as all of that sounds— amuse me and go along with what I have planned. The sooner we go, the sooner we can get back here and I can slowly undress you.” He counters, leaving you little room to dispute his well thought out plan for the evening. 

“Alright, Mr. York. We'll play by your rules.” You bat your eyelashes at him. “Dinner. Then straight back here—“

A soft buzzing cuts you off. Dave’s body tenses against yours, releasing you from his hold to retrieve his phone from his black slacks. 

“I need to take this— it’s work.” His demeanor completely shifting from his usual sweet carefree self to closed off and mysterious. 

“Okay. Call them later then. They can leave you a message.” You reach for his hand to continue to make your way down to the restaurant. He pulls away, promptly taking a few steps back, his focus still on the number flashing on his phone screen. 

You’re not sure what hurts more. The fact that Dave is putting work first once again or how he so quickly recoiled when you reached for him. 

“I can’t. I need to take it.” He says, finally looking at you with pleading eyes, and you hate how much you so willingly give into his need to brush off the plans he was only moments ago so eager to get to. 

“Dave— Fine.” Releasing a heavy sigh into the narrow hallway, tightening your grip on the small purse that holds your phone, lip gloss and key card, doing your best to mask the resentment and defeat simmering just below the surface. 

“I’ll be quick. Go grab us a seat at the bar and I’ll meet you there when I’m finished.” He doesn’t give you an opportunity to get another word in, turning to let himself back into the room. 

The bottom of your dress floats in the air, kicking out with each step you take, making your way to the main hall of the floor in the direction of the elevator. Further from Dave. Closer to being alone yet again. Suppressing your swirling emotions for the time being.  

Dave’s hushed voice echoes down the walls. Never actually making back into the room before answering the call. Out in the open. Zero care that his wife is still within earshot. 

“Hey, Ashley… Yeah, she just left. I told her to just wait for me at the bar.” 

You stop dead in your tracks. The swish of your dress is now still at your feet, hanging in its normal wearing state. Your blood runs cold as your brain rapidly tries to digest what you just heard. 

Your heart clings to how easily Dave had been so present and affectionate since this morning. That sinking feeling of your suspicions being revealed. I knew this whole day was too good to be true. 

Everything feels like it’s narrowing. The hallway. Your vision. Your airway. Smaller and smaller. 

Something compels you to keep moving. Further from Dave. Closer to being alone at the bar, away from this man who you no longer find recognizable at this moment. 

*

“Excuse me. Can I get a Scotch, neat, side of water please?” Dave’s whereabouts are no longer unknown to you, leaning an elbow onto the bar as he orders himself a drink, his other hand resting on the back of the chair that has kept you comfortable while you wait. 

“Sorry, that took longer than expected.” Dave apologizes, sealing it with a kiss to your cheek. 

You hum a lackluster response. Gnawing at your bottom lip as you focus on the dilapidated napkin you’ve been rolling and unraveling, folding and unfolding for the umpteenth time. 

“You okay?” Dave asks, his hand moves to rest on your back but now it’s your turn to recoil from his touch, leaning forward before he’s able to make contact. 

“Yeah— I’m great.” You say flatly, only briefly looking at him to deliver your annoyed smile, then back to the crinkled napkin that’s now serving as an absorbent to pooling condensation. 

“Here you are sir.” The bartender interrupts, placing the single malt and ice water on the bar, Dave nods his thanks. 

You don’t have it in you to pry or question his tardiness. So you continue to sit in silence, watching Dave out of your peripheral properly dilute his drink so it’s suitable for sipping. 

“You’re not wearing your ring?” He points out to your bare ring finger then takes a light sip of the diluted scotch. 

The fingers of your left hand pause, fanning out so you can inspect the observation yourself. The usually adorned finger is stripped, lacking your wedding band and engagement ring.  

“Oh— I must have forgotten to put it back on after we went to the pool…” You hadn’t realized how naked it felt all day, the fingers of your right hand soothing over the indent skin, recalling when you had tossed the jewelry haphazardly into your bag yesterday. 

“You don’t think these strangers will get the wrong idea?” You sense an attempt at humor in his voice, only he has failed to read the room. His government skills not sensing you have zero interest in Dave’s untimely decision to be a humorist. “A beautiful woman, alone at a bar, without her wedding rings— Don’t want—“

“Excuse me— can you put my drink on his tab? He’ll be taking care of it, along with your generous tip.” You alert the passing bartender. You swivel your barstool just enough to reach around Dave’s solid form to grab your purse, then swivel in the opposite direction to stand. You tuck your purse under your arm, before delivering the irritation that has finally begun to boil over. “I think the only stranger confused about our marriage is you, Dave.” 

“Wait— Where are you going?” His hand gently clasped around your upper arm, halting your departure. 

You glance down at where his hand holds you, his thumb actively moving in soft circles over your skin, trying his best to distract and diffuse the air between you. Unfortunately, too little too late. 

“I’ve been sitting here waiting for you, Dave— for a fucking hour. I’m going back to the room.” You pull your arm from his grip and leave without another word. 

Dave somehow manages to catch the same elevator, but you don’t bother acknowledging his presence as he stands on the opposite side of the small metal cabin. The other riding passengers don’t suspect you two even know each other or the emanant rift that is unfolding between you, just two lone hotel guests sharing a lift to their designated floor. 

2 stops allow for the other guests to get on to their respective floors, leaving only you and Dave left to continue the ride to the final stop. 

The striking silence is met with electric chords spilling from the small speakers in the elevator. The familiar tune feels like an old friend you’ve been reacquainted with after months apart. Those first few lines wrap around you, embracing you fully— I’ve missed you so. The chorus drawing your gaze to where your husband stands slouched against the mirrored wall, looking equally as somber as you feel, his eyes already drawn to you in the same manner. 

A smile tugs at your lips, a fleeting moment of remembrance to that night so many years ago. That night where Dave was more than just a stranger in a bar. He was your future. Your home. Dave without a doubt was the best thing to happen to you. 

The memory of meeting Dave is interrupted by a soft ding and the doors slowly unveiling your intended destination. 

You stalk towards the room with a graceful backbone, a beautiful facade to how you truly feel inside, keeping yourself together with each poised stride. Dave takes his position two steps behind, vigilantly in tune with your body language. 

There’s a sense of relief that overcomes you the second the door closes and the lock clicks. No longer needing to keep a composed demeanor to prying eyes. No longer allowing the hurt to fester and torment your heart in a stealthily manner. 

They flow furiously once they start. Tears streaming down your face. Silent sobs cracking in your throat. 

You move about busily, grabbing and tossing, too lost in your own blurry thoughts to even notice Dave standing there watching you. 

“What are you doing?” Dave asks, perplexed by the way you’re flinging item after item into your suitcase that lays open on the bed. 

“You’re a smart man, Dave. I’m sure you can figure that out.” Grabbing a drawer’s entire contents and dropping it messily into your bag. 

“I get that you’re packing. Why are you packing is my concern.” He takes a timid step closer towards the streamline process of you moving about. 

“I’m going home. I’ll catch a ride to the airport. Book a new flight when I get there. I can have Jacey pick me up when I land.” A plan you had thoroughly developed before Dave had arrived at the bar. 

“Wait— you’re going home? Why? What’s going on?” He steps directly into your path, hindering your progress. 

“I don’t know anymore, Dave. I thought this was what we needed. Some time away together. Away from work. Away from our normal lives. Just us reconnecting. But it seems like this whole thing was just wasted effort.” You try to wipe the tears, but they just continue to fall. 

“Baby, you’re not making any sense right now.” He knows he should allow you space, but the urge to pull you into him is stronger. 

“It’s been months. Months of you working long hours. Months of missed dinners and late nights at the office. Months of being alone at night wondering if you’re okay and when you’ll be home. Months of worrying that something is happening between us and trying to figure out how to fix it.” Each convulsive gasp for air you struggle for fans across Dave’s neck. His arms tightening around you, every word slicing through his chest. 

“Fuck—“ He murmurs, his cheek pressed into the side of your head, your tearful confession not anything he expected to hear tonight. 

“If you didn’t want to c-come with me— I would have u-understood.” Your shoulders jostle in Dave’s arms, your own arms hanging at your side, still holding a few loose garments in your fists. 

“What? No! Baby, I wanted to come. I want to be here— with you.” Dave pulls back, enough so you can see the sureness in his eyes. 

“What about her? Wouldn’t you rather be here with— h-her?” Your voice cracks at the thought of Dave with someone who isn’t you. 

“Her? What are you talking about?” 

“Ashley— She’s the important phone calls you’ve been taking. The work that can’t wait. She’s why you’ve been so distant with me for months.” It feels like glass the minute it leaves your mouth, shattering across your tongue, nearly choking on the tiny little shards. 

“Honey, you think I’m having an affair?” A nod is all your weary state can give. An affair— it’s the only thing that makes sense to you right now. 

“I heard you talking to her several times since we got here, Dave. The last time being when you told me you had to take an important call and you would meet me at the bar before our dinner reservation.” 

You’re not sure what you expect him to do now that he’s been caught. Confess to his actions. Tell you everything from the beginning. Get on his knees and beg for forgiveness. It was a mistake, it will never happen again. 

What you don’t expect is to see a single tear fall down his handsome face. To see a look of rich tenderness in his eyes. Warmth in his touch as he wipes away the wet worriment painted over your face. 

“Baby— Fuck, I’m so sorry. To say that this trip so far has been stressful would be an understatement. Nothing I had planned for this trip has gone right— even after months and months of preparation. And you’re right, they weren’t work phone calls— not all of them at least. I’m so sorry for making you feel like I didn’t want to be here— I do. I want to tell you everything, but I think it’s best if I show you first.” 

“Show me what?” You ask him. 

“Come with me so you can see for yourself. And if you still want to go home afterwards, we’ll leave tonight.” Dave’s head tilts, his eyes searching yours hoping to relieve any reservations you still might be internally feeling. 

“I look like a blubbering mess right now.” You use what you now realize are a pair of socks to wipe any streaks of makeup smeared on your face. 

“No you don’t. I think you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” He says, his lips molding over yours are a sobering reflection of his love for you. 

Not much else is said on the trek back down to the lobby, allowing Dave to take you to wherever this mysterious place is. 

There’s a nervousness about him, his jitters, while subtle, are loud and obvious. Holding his sweaty palm against yours. His other hand actively fidgeting in his pocket. Head tilt back, then forward, stretching his neck from side to side. 

You lean into his shoulder, tucking your free hand under his arm, hoping to ground him a bit. It helps, you feel him relax instantly into your touch. His lips pressing to the side of your head, Thank you. 

“Dave, where are we going?” You ask as you walk in an unfamiliar area of the hotel. 

“Almost there.” He says, his fingers squeezing in small bursts against your hand. 

It’s a long hallway covered in an elaborate wallpaper with rich details of floral patterns and bold hues. It's dimly lit due to the fact that there’s zero windows, the only light is given by the mid century style sconce fixtures lining the walls. Potted plants strategically placed around sculptures and empty velvet chairs. 

You’re met with two large wooden doors as you approach the end of the hall, but it’s the woman standing in front of them that has your attention. She’s beautiful, actually she’s stunning. Her smile is so warm and inviting, beaming at you as you and Dave walk closer to where she stands. It’s as if she’s been expecting you, waiting diligently for your arrival. 

“Good evening Mr. and Mrs. York. My name is Ashley.” 

[genericpuff]

The Mishandling of LO's S3 Midseason Hiatus - Part 1

So Lore Olympus' return is right around the corner, and I realize I've never actually talked about the S3 midseason finale. I think I said I was going to, but then I just sorta didn't, probably because I was still reeling in the absolute absurdity of it for weeks afterwards. In hindsight, I should have written about it back when it was still fresh, but I feel like I can do it just as much - if not more - justice writing about them in hindsight, now that they've had time to sit and I've seen what Rachel and WT are clearly planning to do after the comic ends (whether or not they succeed... that's a different story).

CAUTION: THIS IS PART 1 OF A 3 PART SERIES IN WHICH I WILL BE SPOILING MUCH OF EPISODES 251-253. THIS EPISODE CONTAINS DEPICTIONS OF VIOLENCE INVOLVING STRANGULATION. THIS WILL BE A LONG POST. BRACE YOURSELF.

So one of the things that really motivated me to finally talk about this was a conversation that happened recently in the ULO Discord - the realization that there are many readers who still don't know what happened after the free to read finale cliffhanger.

Y'know, the one where Hades gets possessed by Kronos and attempts to choke Persephone-

Now, awful dark jokes aside about how Persephone frankly deserves to have her balloon head popped, this was a wild cliffhanger to leave on for free readers, but the strange thing this time around - unlike with the previous midseason hiatus - is that this is where the cliffhanger has stood for free readers for the past 3 months, and it will be 4 months by the time the series returns.

And frankly... this just highlights a huge problem with LO's writing, because this cliffhanger? Like all the others, it's literally resolved within the next episode. The one that's currently under the FP lock.

Man, isn't it a little fucked up that we only ever get trigger warnings when it's concerning Persephone? Where was the warning for when Minthe got turned into a plant? Where was the warning for the entire episode that depicted Hera's trauma from Kronos and how it's still affecting her in the present? It's always either the Persephone, Hades, or Apollo focused episodes that get the trigger warnings, they couldn't care less about the violence being done onto other people in the story.

Anyways. Episode 251 opens up by reminding us, oh yeah, Kassandra exists!

Remember back in Episode 227 when Psyche stole Apollo's USB drive (and by "stole", I mean she picked it up off the ground where Apollo had conveniently dropped it?) And they found a folder with a picture of Kassandra? Well, Episode 251 opens by reminding us of her... 24 episodes later. SEVEN MONTHS OF REAL LIFE TIME, LITERALLY THE LENGTH OF BOTH THE SEASON 2 AND SEASON 3 MIDSEASON HIATUSES COMBINED-

Anyways, I guess Rachel finally figured out what she was gonna do with Kassandra after all that time, and it's... really stupid.

But wait, don't worry about that yet, because only the comic's opening reminds us of Kassandra, we gotta establish the title first and get back to that cliffhanger from before, the one that free to read users have been waiting 4 months to see.

(pay attention to the episode titles here btw, it's probably one of Rachel's lamest 3 parter title sequences yet)

Turns out Kronos is still intent on getting his hands on Hera, even though we've literally already seen Kronos haunting Hera. Is he just a ghost? A hallucination of her traumatized mind? We don't know, it never really explains itself. So Kronos is still looking for Hera.

(kinda weird that we're getting all these redrawn fullbody angles of Hades-possessed-by-Kronos choking his noodle-bodied wife who is doing literally NOTHING to actually fight back besides yelling at him, but okay.)

Turns out Hades isn't really hyped about this choking game going on between his dad and his niece wife, so he goes full on "release the beast" Naruto mode on his ass.

And that's it. That's literally the conflict resolved. The cliffhanger that free to read users were left with over the 4 month hiatus is resolved literally within a handful of panels and Hades just "believing enough" to save his wife.

And then that's just it, it cuts away, and we get this sorta awkward conversation between Persephone and Hades (now himself again) over the fact that he just choked out his wife.

The scene transitions to Hades waking up in his bed (literally that last shot of him and Persephone was it, it transitions immediately). I'm trying not to use up Tumblr's 30 image posting limit so I'm not posting the 3 fucking copy pasted panels of this that just involves Hades waking up, use your imagination lmao

There's literally no actual conversation here, no amount of Hades asking "what happened", somehow despite his possessed state he remembers everything so succinctly that he jumps right to demanding Persephone to see her neck.

(literally removed the panel of Persephone saying "Hades..." because these types of "let me do the thing" "Hades :(((" "let me do the thing" exchanges are literally just Rachel trying to hit her panel limit, once you start seeing these '3 panel' exchanges that copy paste the same shit over and over again, you can't unsee them and you realize this is why so little happens in the comic as a whole, because it's just constant repetition of dialogue and reaction panels to pad out the episodes).

And then we get what I like to call "guy in a position of power manipulating his more vulnerable partner into pitying him without actually apologizing":

No for real, I didn't cut out a single thing from this exchange aside from a couple copy pasted reaction panels, this is the entire conversation. Hades doesn't apologize, he doesn't ask Persephone if she's okay, he just pulls the "you can leave if you want toooo :(((" baiting Persephone into further trapping herself with this jackass. SHE'S the one who's stuck with HIM.

Like, obviously Hades wasn't the one who choked her, that goes to Kronos, but he doesn't even ask her if she's okay. He just looks at her moldy ass bruises and immediately goes "YOU CAN LEAVE IF YOU WANT TO I'M A MONSTER OH GOD-" and then of course she's having to comfort him which is fine but where's the balance? It's always Persephone having to comfort him and listen to his trauma and we never get Hades doing the same for her - the times we do get Persephone talking about her trauma and struggles with him, he always finds a way to make it about him.

Hades proceeds to talk more about his childhood and more of the shit he's already talked about multiple times before, I don't even need to go over it at this point.

That said, Rachel does remember to bring his stutter back. When's the last time he stuttered? 200 episodes ago ?? (literally I don't remember, it's like when he used to twist his napkins, he doesn't have these character traits consistently anymore).

THERE we go, finally some semblance of an apology. It came after more trauma dumping, but at least it's something-

Oh for fuck's sakes.

This is literally such generic "you've come so far!" motivational jargon. And it's made even worse in LO because what has Hades overcome exactly? Just a reminder, here are the things we've seen in Hades' backstory since he was rescued by his brothers:

He started a business in the Underworld that he's been operating with slave labor and profiting off ever since as a tyrannical oligarch

He entered a multi-century-long affair with his brother's wife, his own sister in law

He cost Demeter - Persephone's own mother - the role of Queen of the Mortal Realm and Persephone still does not know this.

He abused and neglected his adopted son - who was literally abandoned on his doorstep - for hundreds of years and used his role as his adopted father to guilt trip his son for getting "special treatment".

He never took responsibility for the financially dependent relationship he created between himself and a lower class nymph and tried to bribe her out of his life as soon as he fell for a 19 year old intern

HE LITERALLY FELL FOR THE 19 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER OF A WOMAN WHO HE HAD SCREWED OVER AND PRETENDED LIKE THAT WOMAN WAS IN THE WRONG FOR NOT APPROACHING HIM DURING THE EVENTS OF THE ACT OF WRATH, AND THEN HE HAD THE GALL TO PROPOSE TO HER DAUGHTER RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER WHEN SHE BASICALLY HAD NO OTHER CHOICE BUT TO SAY YES.

Everything he's legitimately had to overcome involving his trauma has gone completely ignored until pop in comes the pink cinnamon roll girl to solve all his problems and do for him what apparently even a therapist couldn't do (because haha he thinks his therapist is a hack.)

Persephone saying "look at all you've done" should be a reminder of all the crimes Hades has committed against people weaker than him, but instead it's used as a term of endearment, because Persephone literally got with him when she was 19 years old. And apparently the whole "eternally 19" thing applies to more than just her body, because even now, 10 years later, she's still lacking all the smarts and self-awareness and maturity to realize marrying this man was a mistake.

At this point Persephone isn't too naive or stupid to realize what she's gotten herself into, she's just a terrible person who's entirely complacent in Hades' bullshit and frankly, they deserve each other.

They literally keep talking about him for several more panels. Hades literally whines on and on about how much of a failure he is, how he feels like he failed the child who's trapped in Tartarus, and then of course Persephone tells him "no honey, you're the most important being in this process!" and she's LITERALLY STILL JUST TALKING ABOUT HIM, THIS WHOLE EPISODE IS PERSEPHONE TALKING ABOUT HOW WONDERFUL HADES IS, NOTHING ELSE HAPPENS. HAVE YOU NOTICED WE HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN KASSANDRA YET ?? HAVE YOU NOTICED THE COLD OPEN FOR THE EPISODE HASN'T BECOME RELEVANT YET ?? I'VE ALREADY HIT THE 30 IMAGE LIMIT AND I HAVE TO START CUTTING STUFF OUT-

Persephone and Hades talk about how they should name the interloper, but they don't come up with anything before transitioning to Leuce and Thetis.

And y'all, this has gotta be one of Rachel's worst cases of backpedaling in the entire series. You thought how she turned Leuce - Hades' first wife - into a homewrecker was bad? You thought it was absurd the plot tried to turn Leuce into Minthe 2.0?

Remember those text messages that Leuce and Hades sent between each other? The ones we never saw but kept getting alluded to? Well of course we couldn't have Hades actually text Leuce during Persephone's banishment, because then that would mean he isn't 100% loyal to his little pink cinnamon roll "qween", so what was the next best thing? Kronos possessing Hades and texting Leuce like so many people - even fans - assumed? No. It's worse.

The text messages... weren't real.

This literally makes no sense. First of all, it's once again Rachel creating drama out of "haha woman delusional!" much like she did with Minthe. But second, it literally doesn't make sense after what we've seen leading up to this.

Leuce didn't just talk about Hades texting her. She went to his office, intent on seducing him, with the knowledge of these text messages being real. She even TALKS ABOUT THESE MESSAGES WITH HADES.

But of course, they were interrupted before Hades got a chance to respond, so this was convenient enough for Rachel to try and pull off some 'twist' where she could easily absolve Hades of "cheating" on Persephone (again, the girl he only knew for like 1-2 months) but also not have to deal with the weird logic of Kronos possessing Hades just to text some random nymph.

This is absolutely one of the most absurd retcons Rachel has ever tried to pull to get herself out of the corners she writes herself into.

Now the episode is still going and FINALLY, it gets to Kassandra, after teasing her at the beginning of the episode and proceeding to do a whole lot of nothing throughout the entire thing.

This has to be one of the funniest panels in the entire comic, bar none. Rachel's gotten worse at drawing men despite making this comic for 5 years and having plenty of opportunity to improve, and he literally just looks like the fucking Amazing Bulk, haunting this poor mortal woman with his very presence.

So yeah, it turns out that the "curse" Kassandra suffers from in this "retelling" is, rather than having prophecies no one believes (or at least, if she does, we don't see that), she sees Apollo and no one believes her. Again, Rachel takes these weird liberties with the original myths that don't make a whole lot of sense all for the sake of seeming original, but whatever, Rachel hit her panel limit for the week, because that's essentially where the episode ends, with Apollo greeting Kassandra. As quickly as it was shown at the beginning of the episode, the one part of the episode actually featuring Kassandra is wrapped up in literally 7 panels.

THOUGHT VOMIT TIME

So with Episode 251 now summarized and out of the way, I really wanna talk about how this episode operates as the first FP episode after the midseason finale for free readers.

Despite the fact that it was a 4 month break and despite the fact that WT has always still released these episodes for free on schedule - with the idea that every reader will be up to date with the current content and can start fresh with a new set of FP episodes when it returns - this time around Episodes 251-253 have remained locked.

And I say Webtoons specifically because as far as I know, the creators typically don't have control over this type of decision. From what I've heard from other Originals creators, it's often WT who decides shit like coin costs, FP release dates, etc. This is why during hiatuses the numbers on the episode unlocks never actually align with their real return dates, sometimes they completely undershoot and reset, sometimes they overshoot and tell people LO is coming back in January despite the fact it's been confirmed it's coming back in November. This isn't Rachel's doing. It's clearly Webtoons trying to squeeze as much money out of this series as they can so they think the 4 month hiatus will motivate people to pay... but even the newest episode is still only sitting at 17.9k likes, which is just slightly above the average amount the FP episodes normally wind up sitting at by the time they're unlocked after 3 weeks, but this has been after four months. The hiatus of the comic and its communities absolutely put LO out of sight, out of mind.

That said, I don't know what this means for the series' return, if it'll have 6 FP episode unlocks going forward or if it'll just return with one new FP episode and Episode 251 unlocking for free readers, but holy shit, if that's the case, this is gonna be a shitty way to return from 4 months of nothing. The cliffhanger from 250 implies so much more than what it ends up being and it's, again, highlighting a fundamental issue within LO - it operates purely on a week to week basis, producing episodes on the fly, and concerning itself more with filling up its panel quota so that it can get readers from beginning to end when they can drop some new cliffhanger that likely won't lead to anything or will be completely resolved within three swipes of the next episode. Season 3 has been especially egregious with this and it's clear Rachel has run out of track to run on.

There is speculation that perhaps the reason the timing of this cliffhanger is so off is because Rachel didn't know the hiatus was going to happen and WT forced her on it. That said, it's not something anyone can really confirm besides Rachel. I wouldn't blame her for taking the time she did considering she was attending both NYCC and SDCC this past summer, and it's hard enough for her to keep up with any sort of buffer to begin with, so those conventions would have definitely resulted in episodes getting postponed anyways.

What I'm really interested in seeing is the reception when the comic returns. Hiatuses like this are brutal for traffic, it's incredibly difficult to get every single person who you started the hiatus with to return after it's done. It's not uncommon for comics to come back to only a fraction of their readerbase - and that's where the marketing comes in.

S3's return has been incredibly undermarketed. I've talked about it already but I'll mention it again here - they have done nothing to hype up LO's remaining audience for the ending of LO. Not only has the fact that the comic is even entering its final part been mentioned on either Rachel's or WT's social media pages, but the fan groups have been shut down for almost the entirety of this hiatus, shutting fans away from discussing the comic, making predictions, and just participating in their most active and direct part of the fandom. This was an absolutely absurd decision on Rachel's part, I don't know if this was her trying to shield herself from criticism or if she genuinely just doesn't give a shit about her fanbase anymore, but it's not a good thing if the only active groups to be found online during a comic's hiatus - it's final hiatus before the series ends - are the critical ones. Fans of the comic should not have to find out about its ending from me. I know I've got a way with words, but it's not fair to the long-term fans of this comic that they're being shut out by the comic's own creator, simply because she either doesn't care or is just so afraid of the critics that she'd rather hurt her relationship with her fanbase by shutting them out just to maybe shut out any critics who are nearby.

I don't know what the reasoning is and I don't know how it could have been beneficial. But that leads us to the other theory, one that I can see as plausible-

I don't think Lore Olympus was supposed to end here.

We've talked about this theory before, but to reiterate - it's been speculated for a while (prior to the news at NYCC that the comic would be ending) that S3 of LO wasn't going to be the final season as so many people had been assuming based on past info. There was no indication or marketing implying this was the final season - meanwhile webtoons like City of Blank were marketing their final seasons from day 1 of the premiere - and there were loads of new plot threads being established in S3 that we knew couldn't possibly be wrapped up by the end of the season. Case in point, it took Rachel seven months to get back to Kassandra, and while during that time she's rushed plotlines that shouldn't have been rushed (the wedding) other plotlines have proceeded to drag at a snail's pace or been dropped altogether. The speculation that S3 wasn't going to be the final season was plausible.

But now, suddenly, LO is coming to an end, likely within the next 20-30 episodes, and neither Rachel or Webtoons have said a word about it. No announcement post, no hype, no promotional art, no statement from the Webtoons VP of what to be excited for (which he's done before). It seems like they're either intentionally trying to bury it to keep people from panicking while Rachel retreats into the shadows to hide from the crimes she's committed, or they're intentionally keeping the ending of the comic unannounced so they can backpedal on it later to generate hype over it "deciding to stick around". Chances are, it'll be based on how the return of the series goes, and whether or not it's able to get the performance numbers back in the green.

I do not think it will. As I said already, hiatuses are already notorious for destroying built up traffic, especially on Webtoons where people (many of whom are teenagers and children) are conditioned to expect regular content on a schedule. But there's one other thing that's been bugging me - there hasn't been a shred of promotional art. We're currently less than a month away from the return of LO and not only are Rachel and WT being incredibly hush hush about it, but all the art Rachel has put out has been largely on her Blue Sky, where she has the smallest following, and none of it is exactly indicative of being "promotional art", rather just random sketches and doodles that she's doing on her downtime. Everything else has been promos for her books, SDCC/NYCC, of course, Rachel Smythe Presents, her next venture which she has been hyping up more than the actual return or ending of the comic that made her famous in the first place.

At this point, I'm not even fully convinced she's even started working on the next episode yet, let alone any sort of buffer. If anything, she knows that she's coming back to the series with 3 episodes still locked under FastPass, so all she'll need to technically have ready for launch is one new episode. Rachel has never been good at building buffers, not even in the beginning when she apparently started off with 2-3 episodes of buffer. Even when her comic is nearing its end, she's not learning any lessons, she's not setting herself up for success. And I'm not setting myself up for the hope that the series could possibly come back any better than it was when it left - if anything, I think we're about to see Rachel and the comic outdo itself once again on how bad it can possibly be.

And we still have two more episodes to talk about, which includes the cliffhanger for FP readers that we've been waiting four months on. Part 2 and 3 of these FP episode analyses will be going up as soon as I can get them done, ideally I'll have all three parts done before it returns so we can start off fresh with the newest episode.

Buckle up folks. Pour yourself a drink. We're gonna need it.

[variousqueerthings]

MORE GUILT!!!!

Let's Kill Hitler (the episode not the imperative). this episode has a couple of things I really like, and a lot of things I don't

sexism rank objectification (female character is ogled/harassed/turned into a sex joke by the doctor and/or a lead we’re supposed to root for and/or the camera): 3/10

sexism rank plot-point (lead female character is only there to serve plot, not to have her emotional interiority explored): 2/10

interesting complex or pointlessly complex (does the complexity serve the narrative or does it just serve to be confusing as a stand-in for smart, this includes visually): 6/10

furthers character and/or lore and/or plot development (broader question that ties into the previous ones, at least two of these, ideally three should be fulfilled): 5/10

companion matters (the companion doesn’t always have to be there, but if the companion is there, can they function without the doctor– and overall per season how often is the companion the focus or POV of the story): 2/10

the doctor is more than just “godlike” (examines the doctor’s flaws and limitations, doesn’t solve a plot by having it revolve entirely around the doctor’s existence): 7/10

doesn’t look down on previous doctor who (by erasing or mocking its importance, by redoing and “bettering” previous beloved plotpoints or characters, etc.): 8/10

isn’t trying to insert hamfisted sexiness (m*ffat famously talked a lot about how dw should be sexier multiple times, he sucks at writing it): 3/10

internal world has consistency (characters have backgrounds, feel rooted in a place with other people, generally feel like they have Lives): 3/10

Politics (how conservative is the story): 4/10

FULL RATING: 43/100 (if I can count….)

yikes, well, one point more than the previous episode

OBJECTIFICATION: there's this whole bit where River regenerates into the body we know and she goes on a whole BIT about her body and how hot she is (and makes a Mrs Robinson reference -- the second we've had of her in this show), and see it's not objectification, because River is just sexually confident that she's so sexy!

and then we continue to see this sexually liberated River be hot in various scenes. on and on and oooooooooooon, but it's in a craaaazy way because they establish she's craaaazy (more on that below) but also craaaazy hot

and also she goes to weigh herself as one of the first things in that regeneration, because she is A Wooman, and women care about their weight first and foremost

one thing I'm not sure if to put here or somewhere else, so it goes here: kid!Amy has a line about how she's "basically a boy" because kid!Amy is not like other girls, you see. she's kind of a tomboy is the suggestion. and of course the best thing about girls who aren't like other girls, is when they grow up to be super fucking banging models, but still One Of The Guys... it was a comment that annoyed me, considering Amy's characterisation. just let her be a girlygirl, she is as an adult! she is very much like girls, she likes being a girl! "not like the other girls" is either "I'm sexist because I want boys to like me," OR "I'm about 10 years off from a diagnosis and/or lesbianism and/or a new gender"

we also get another casually sexist moment of the Doctor asking Rory for permission (again!!!) to hug Amy, just to say hello??? where did this come from??? it did not exist this season until these two episodes! it's bad characterisation!

PLOT-POINT: Mels... Melody... wooow.... get it..... so Mels is someone Amy grew up with, except we've never heard anything about her before. in fact, something this episode does is highlight that Amy's life doesn't matter to this story. Amy's parents allegedly came back, but they exist even less than before, because at least before there was actually a plot reason why she didn't ever mention or care about them, Amy's aunt? doesn't exist? Leadworth? not a real place

we see Amy's school-life now and her bestie Mel, who wasn't there in s5 at all, and didn't come to the wedding because she "hates weddings" and it's really just to make the plot happen, because I'm not convinced M*ffat had any idea who Mels was until he started writing this episode

how does Amy feel about having spent all her youth with this person? well, we don't really know because it was covered in a montage. how does she feel about the child she bore without knowing, the child that was taken from her, suddenly being her old (new) best friend of ever? Idk, it's not important I suppose

Amy's whole everything is just about what the plot needs it to be, and none of it affects her. she just pivots as a character to become someone slightly different than we've known her to be until now, because now the plot has decided to be something different

but River! River also doesn't make sense, she's just vibing with whatever is required for her, and it's because she's a psyyyychopaaaath so she's craaaaaazy and can pivot whenever she wants! that's what crazy people do

I also note some things about how the Doctor continues to affect this family, it's so messed up but it's just how it is. I'm sure there's good fanfic out there exploring it

COMPLEXITY: it's soooort of complex but also not. the plot about the tiny people in robots travelling time to exact vengeance on criminals is quite nice, but then it's on top of the River thing happening as well, and River is a war criminal because she... kills the Doctor in the future. and that part is... ehhh, doesn't make sense

because the other plot is that this religious order (the Silence, we met them in the beginning of the season) "bred the perfect psychopath" or something, to kill the Doctor and it's kind of going "trust me, this is a perfectly reasonable plot, don't even think about how stupid it is"

it's basically a continuation of the Pandorica plot, where they tried to put the Doctor in space prison and didn't just idk... kill him then, and undermines the whole idea of that plot, because River could just shoot him and that was fine, and even this time around didn't have a great deal of trouble and only didn't kill him because she chose not to

the Doctor is not that hard to kill!!! yes, the Doctor is hard to kill, but not so hard that we need a three season conspiracy arc that's just about the Doctor being the biggest most interesting person that stays alive not because the narrative needs to continue, but because of... idk... being cool I guess

would've been fine with a plot about the little guys in the big robots (I wonder if they'll come back............................................)

CHARACTERS/LORE/PLOT: River becomes our first moment of being River, confirming that this is definitely not a chronological non-linear set of meetings, but it never could have been anyway

River can regenerate because she was conceived in the Tardis and so she is basically a Timelord, and then she uses her regenerations to unkill the Doctor, and also kisses him with her first "hello sweetie"

Amy and Rory... are chill with her being their adult daughter, because secretly growing up with your abducted kid who was "raaaised to kill the Doctor (sigh)" is the same as raising your kid

it's really... more about the Doctor... than about Amy and Rory (shocker)

there's a Question of some kind, (let's hope it's not something stupid like "Doctor Wh-" siiiiiiigh)

THERE IS A BIT THOUGH! WHICH I MENTION IN "PREVIOUS DOCTOR WHO" POINT where the Doctor sort of acknowledges the issues with his presence in Amy's life starting waaay back when she was a kid! talk more about it below, it is my favourite scene of the episode

Amy hasn't figured out that River Is Going To Kill The Doctor because she's kind of dense when the plot needs her to be

COMPANIONS MATTER: they do not! this is about their kid and they do not!

I will note three Moments of mattering

. Amy asks the Doctor what to do and he tells her to figure it out and she comes up wtih a plan in a snap second -- this is notable because she barely ever gets to do that in the show

. Amy gets the robot to show River that she is, in fact, River, prompting River to save the Doctor's life

. Rory punches Hitler and then nervously stutters "shut up, Hitler," and I acknowledge that did make me laugh

GODLIKE” DOCTOR: the Doctor also just hangs around this episode. he is pretty sure of River saving him I suppose, so yay for that?

oh and there's this stupid bit that is so very Sherlock of the Doctor and River "outsmarting" each other, which also belongs in the annoying sexiness category

there's a scene that I mention in the next point that's pretty neat though!

PREVIOUS DOCTOR WHO: HIGH POINTS! the past exists! best scene oooof the episode!

the Doctor is dying and asks the Tardis to give him a visual interface

The Doctor: Give me someone I like [Rose appears], (sarcastically) thanks, give me guilt. [Martha appears] Also guilt. [Donna appears] MORE GUILT!  Come on there must be someone in the Universe I haven’t screwed up yet! [Kid!Amy appears]

this also doubles as a moment where the Doctor acknowledges that his effect in Amy's life has been... less than great..... that perhaps Amy was not better off for meeting him.... Iiinteresting...

“SEXINESS”: Mels entire Thing is being sexy, but in this unhinged way, and then it gets muuuuch much worse with River, because River (as seen explored below in "politics") is Cu-RAAAAZY you see, so she can be so sexy and changeable and fucked up but in a sexy way, because she's a woman (wait this is also sexism, up in the objectification box with you!)

the Doctor says all of this basically

it's so prevalent throughout, because River is so prevalent throughout. and then she does the thing mentioned in the first point of admiring how hot she is, her breasts, curves, etcetcetc. sigh

because... she's.... a woman

also right at the beginning Mels is like "you didn't mention he was hot," and the Doctor all offended goes "you didn't mention I was hot!?" whatever

and when River is being all I'm sexy and matuuuure now, she presses herself up against the Doctor without his consent, and then when she runs off to... weigh... herself...... he covers his dick. S I G H

INTERNAL WORLD: I mean, it's Nazi Germany, but it does a shitty job, see below

POLITICS: we're in subjective land again, but I am... veeeeery tired of the way Hitler and Nazi Germany come up again and again in stuff like this

a lot of the time people do this for Flavour, rather than because there's anything important to say here and it's uncomfortable to me, this thing of writing Nazis for Spice

and of course it's also done to do a wee bit of Old Blighty Gee Whizz propaganda, because it's the Nazis, the ultimate bad guy, a good opportunity to let everyone know how much better the British are than the Nazis! it's just not good writing in my opinion, it's a simplistic depiction, it's dull, and it's politically a bit suspect

and for the next part: SHE'S A! PSYCHOPATH! I GET IT! YOU'VE SAID IT A MILLION TIMES IN THE SCENE!

River: I’m a psychopath, I’m not rude Amy: You are not a psychopath. Why would she be a psychopath? River: I was trained and conditioned for one purpose. I was born to kill the Doctor The Doctor: This is what they were building. My bespoke psychopath River: I’m all yours sweetie [kisses the Doctor]

firstly, takes "psychopath" away from M*ffat and puts it on the shelf next to "sociopath."

secondly, ooooh all the fucking. it's fine if she does all this boundary-crossing sexual shit to the Doctor because the Doctor is a bloke, and secretly all blokes like it

FULL RATING: 43/100 (if I can count….)

So the good is these couple of tidbits that give us something to work with, and also give a bit of emotional continuity (for the Doctor, not for Amy...)

while the bad is like. the setting. the characterisation. the emotional depth. the dialogue

on the upside, the next episode wasn't written by M*ffat

[scientistofdeduction]

Ok, I live tweeted a rewatch of Study in Pink

And I had a lot of thoughts about it, but main take away was how much I found myself genuinely enjoying it for the first time in years without getting depressed or bitter.

Like a “it is what it is and I’m still going to have fun” attitude.

Under the cut I’ve compiled all my tweets into a single little weird post. Enjoy if you read it.

Alright

So it’s Sherlock rewatch day

For the anniversary of SiP.

I’ve had so much distance on this show since it ended. I wouldn’t say I never rewatch it but I certainly put it down a few months after with the intention of never getting back into it in the same way.

I still know every line of this episode

Probably of the entire first season

It’s not bad, not this first season, but there’s still glaring issues to me that jump out considering the changes they made from the Pilot to the aired SiP episode.

Let’s be honest, Greg Lestrade is the best bit of this whole damn show.

“How do people keep themselves safe?”

“Well, don’t commit suicide.”

Rupert Graves’ deadpan delivery got me on that one this time.

Listen, Lestrade is the one thing I won’t pick apart.

Give points to the editing in this show.

Pretty op tier throughout

Cut from John “who was the first” to the zipper body bag reveal of Sherlock, upside down

Everything about that is really good.

Try not to think “wasted potential” every 10 minutes of this challenge 😂

I Will forever headcanon Sherlock as ace/gay and unbothered by people knowing or finding out. He formally came out to Mrs Hudson and because he loves her, cares not for her parading his business.

Hudson: establishes John is NOT Sherlock’s boyfriend

Immediately relate that she’s ok with it all but in a way she thinks is subtle

Spend the rest of the episode “outing” Sherlock to John

“Please date my awkward son, Mr Army Man, he’s lonely”.

Season 1-2 Hudson is the other greatest character in this show let’s be honest

So many possibilities set up in such a short screen time.

I think contrary to previous belief that actually Sherlock being a “villain” for lack of a better word here is set up pretty well in ep 1 and that thread is continued well in ep 6, but I think they dropped the ball in between.

“Stay away from Sherlock Holmes” is appealing—they could’ve set him up better to be misunderstood by all except those closest to him, and have Holmes not pretend to be anything he isn’t

But I think the whole weird sociopath thing really funked with that thread.

God there’s about to be a million and one fix it fics in my head after this isn’t there?

(Edited: I will definitely post a link if I start doing BBC fic again)

Mark Gatiss as Mycroft is also great casting I just god really loathe the writing of this Mycroft

“Yada Yada bully Mycroft we know, Ro”

It could’ve been a goofy joke! Between brothers! Sherlock reluctantly “Yeah thanks for checking out my new roommate bro but we’re chill” Mycroft laughs it off

No real creepy older brother, he doesn’t spy on them after that, drops the whole Bond villain act etc

This is in fact one of my least favorite Watson’s on screen

(Fanon John doesn’t count he’s cool and soft)

The characters play off each other and it’s silly goofy

Still just a fun watch

Ik I complain alot but it’s nice to have this goofy little first season

This show also could’ve been a deep little meditation on mental health but that and the whole “Sherlock does drugs” bit were missed potential

Phil Davis plays such a creepy Jefferson Hope/cabbie killer

I like the moments too where he and Sherlock have little calmer funny human moments

What gets me is that Holmes is very close to canon age in this (BC was like 34) but damn trying to picture a 5 or maybe 8 year younger man playing this but versus the cabbie over the pills just imagine.

The confrontation with Hope is super well written and still fanfic fodder for days

Hope playing up on this Holmes’s need to be right, his addiction to solving puzzles for stimulation

At the time his inability to look beyond himself for solutions

—this Holmes was willing to risk death for a stupid brain game (he was wrong) (he was so self centered in that moment he believed he was right despite it being very easy to see he was wrong)

Missed beat on the mental health note— assume a Sherlock who back of his head realizes he’s being goaded into taking the wrong one and back of his mind /doesn’t/ care. Instead of asking Hope if he’s right he just chucks the thing away, frustrated because the moment is gone.

“Are you alright”

“Yes of course I’m alright”

“You have just killed a man”

“That’s true..

… but he wasn’t a very nice man”

This departure from the pilot script right here set up the toxic relationship between these two and every time I mourn the loss.

Instead of John getting real and trusting Sherlock, “I saw men die in the war good men” and admitting his ruined sleep because of it. Instead of “I’ll sleep fine tonight,” because Sherlock gave him a war worth fighting for

We get a joke, a little laugh

And this only continues.

Anyways I always get a little laugh at the wonky Mycroft dialogue that’s there just to end the episode with “Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson” as the final words

This show has always been goofy and it makes it fun to revisit.

Happy 13th, Sherlock.

[glassessence]

Elriel Hint and Analysis - includes analysis of Feysand & Nessian (ACOSF Spoilers)

I’m pretty new to the fandom, but I am currently obsessed with Elriel. This is my ship and I will go down with it until the day I die. As a fairly casual reader, I honestly had zero doubts the next book would be Elain’s and that the couple would be Elriel. 

Then I discovered the existence of the extra POV chapters and Azriel’s threw me in for a bit of a loop. Especially with the ending (which I genuinely believe is a red herring. I lean very heavily into the lightsinger Gwyn theory).

However, stalking Tumblr made me come across this again: 

Life and death and rebirth

Sun and moon and dark

Rot and bloom and bones

Hello, sweet thing. Hello, lady of night, princess of decay. Hello, fanged beast and trembling fawn. 

Love me, touch me, sing me.

And then my brain accidentally vomited an essay on the symbolism in each sister’s journey... 

Life and death and rebirth so clearly symbolise Feysand’s journey. Feyre leaves behind her life of poverty for a brand new one with Tamlin. She journeys Under the Mountain for love of him and ultimately succeeds in saving not just him, but all of them. In the process, she dies. Not just in the physical sense, but spiritually too. Feyre the human perishes, giving rise to Feyre the High Fae. In a purely physical sense, this is definitely a rebirth. But it’s stilted, incomplete. She’s the newly born phoenix - young, fragile and yet covered in the ashes of its fiery death. Her spiritual rebirth lags behind her newly changed body. Like a bird in a cage, she is trapped in Tamlin’s realm, unable to finish developing, to spread wings and fly. 

That all changes when she is whisked away to the Night Court. She learns to read and some of the ash falls from her body. She makes friends and some more ash is brushed away by the Inner Circle. The final remnants of ash are blown away by the taste of freedom and the kiss of wind, and Feyre’s rebirth is finally complete. Spiritually and physically, she is changed. She becomes Feyre the High Lady. From life back to life, she is returned through the power of love. Take note that while love is important in all the sisters’ journeys, it is the focal point and highlight of Feyre’s. She is someone who has never been loved in that wholesome, selfless way Rhysand loves her. Tamlin was possessive and abusive; Nesta was barbed and sharp. Elain was fragile and ethereal. Love was something she had never really known and consequently something she desperately, desperately needed. That’s why the phrase that symbolises her is love me.

Sun and moon and dark refers very much to Nessian. Nesta is the sun and she is burning. Has been burning for a long, long time. She is aflame, nothing but ashes inside, and her words are fire. She scalds anyone who dares approach, just as everything melts before the sun. Like Feyre, she has had her physical rebirth, but not her spiritual one. She is trapped in her own head, locked behind her own self-hatred, her own raging inferno that yields to no one. Like Feyre, she is also a phoenix, but one whose fire never stopped. In that sense, she has never died. Her spiritual rebirth is not simply incomplete; it has never happened.

Until she starts training with Cassian. Until she starts befriending Emerie and Gwyn. This is what marks the death of Nesta the human and the emergence of Nesta the High Fae. (I use the term ‘human’ loosely here, mostly as a way of conveying my point about her spiritual journey rather than the state of her physical being). She loses her solar flare, that inner blaze that was killing her and blackening her soul. She mellows from unapproachable sun to a softer moon. It’s here that she stays a while, seeming to progress and regress in her healing journey as the moon waxes and wanes. It’s not until the hiking scene that she finally breaks. She weeps despite Cassian’s expectations to the contrary. Through her tears, she finally extinguishes the long-raging fire and hatred that has been destroying her. No more blazing sun, no more wavering moon. Only darkness to cradle her, and acceptance. Through Cassian’s ceaseless efforts and her friends, her journey reaches its apex. She finally becomes Nesta the Valkyrie. 

Her journey hinges heavily upon the fact that nobody could reach her through the flames. Nobody had kept trying after getting burned again and again. Nobody except Cassian. He reaches out, time after time, even when she hurts him. Even when she burns him. Until he succeeds and touches her soul. That’s why the phrase that symbolises her is touch me.

Of course that leaves only the last line: rot and bloom and bones. I wonder who this could symbolise! Surely not the Archeron sister who is associated with roses and has a complicated romance dilemma with someone from the Autumn Court (rot) and someone else from the Night Court (bones)! Surely not!

Jokes aside, I strongly believe this line reveals Elain’s journey. If we continue thinking of the words as a progression, I think it makes a lot of sense. Keeping in mind the theme of life, death and rebirth, this is how I think of it: 

Life / Rot / stagnation, the start of the journey

Death / Bloom / change, the start of healing

Rebirth / Bones / ascendance and acceptance, the start of the future

There are several interesting things to note about the sentence: 

The word bloom is nestled among rot and bones

Elain’s two potential love interests both have strong associations with those words

I’ll address each point as we delve into Elain’s analysis. 

Let’s start with Elain the human. As previously established, this is when the character is at their worst, blind in the dark before the dawn. I see this as Elain’s forced transformation by the Cauldron. Everything she knows is ripped away from her and her marriage crumbled to dust. She is thrust into a world both unknown and at war. She emerges changed and cursed with powers she cannot control and does not understand. Her life, once a slow-blooming flower, has just rotted into nothing. She is lost, confused and deeply depressed. Her physical rebirth may be complete, but her spiritual rebirth cannot begin until she gathers the shattered pieces of herself back together.

This happens slowly. So slowly, in fact, that it’s hard to notice and easy to dismiss. She befriends Nuala and Cerridwen. Begins gardening again. Talks to the Inner Circle and buys them gifts for Solstice. Slowly, so very slowly, she is starting to piece herself back together. Off-page, she quietly unravels Elain the human and emerges from her cocoon as Elain the High Fae. Like a wilted flower that has dropped its petals, a new season has come, bringing with it new buds. She is blooming, opening herself to new possibilities for companionship, love and for a new self to rise to the surface. But blooms are fragile, newly born things. Elain hasn’t dealt with the full force of her trauma, of her lifelong lack of choice (I’m not going to delve into this as there are so many amazing analyses out there!). She is a trembling fawn, still trying to learn how to walk.

But her spiritual rebirth will remake her. Bones. It’s so different from the previous two words that it really leaves an impact. Blooms rot and fade. Flesh breaks and dies. But bones are strong, the frame that holds up our entire beings. Bones are unyielding and solid, taking no other shape like blood nor bruising like flesh. I see this as Elain standing up for herself, unswayed by external forces that have always governed her life and breaking away from the fragile flower people have always thought she was. By cutting away the rotting flesh, she will reveal the backbone beneath and ascend as Elain the Kingslayer/Seer. 

Of course, closely tied to each sister’s personal growth arc is her love interest. For me, I don’t see it going any other way than Azriel. 

SJM chose rot not only to represent the ‘life’ section of Elain’s personal journey, but also to represent Lucien. He has connections to the Autumn Court, a season that is often associated with decay and rot, but also with harvest and bounty. Highlighting the negative aspects of autumn invokes a strong sense of wrongness. Lucien is not right for her. Not to say anything bad about his character; he’s just not right for Elain. His presence in the books eats away at her newfound boldness; he rots away the path she is trying to carve for herself. 

On the other hand, Azriel is closely tied with death, with blood and bones and shadow. He’s not only Rhys’ spymaster, he’s also his torturer. His association is with bones, a word that invokes a sense of everlasting, of persevering beyond death. Bones is also used to describe the ‘rebirth’ section of Elain’s personal growth arc, the final aspect that leads to ascendance, and acceptance of one’s past and present. Meanwhile, bloom represents Elain herself and the ‘death’ portion of her story, the aspect that heralds change and healing. 

Rot, bloom and bones represent both her personal journey and her love interests. It’s all intrinsically linked. Lucien is ‘life’ and stagnation, Elain is ‘death’ and change, and Azriel is ‘rebirth’ and acceptance. As a progression, this is how I interpret the sentence: 

By rejecting the bond with Lucien, she is stepping into herself and forging something everlasting with Azriel.

Lastly, let’s not forget that the phrase symbolising her is sing me. This didn’t make much sense to me until I read Azriel’s bonus POV. In it, he confesses to Gwyn that he does sing. Why include this if it’s not a subtle callback to this prophetic paragraph in ACOMAF? It feels like a treat to hardcore fans who like finding all the little connections (since they’re the ones most likely to have read the bonus chapters). The fact that Gwyn also sings signals to me there’s an important plot point regarding song. Maybe homegirl Elain will be forced to throw a hardcore metal concert to save Az XD Wouldn’t that be a plot twist HAHAHA. 

I don’t know when SJM started planting seeds for Elriel in any serious capacity, so perhaps I am reading WAY too much into this. Either way, I am super keen for the next book!

Please feel free to comment and let me know your thoughts! I am desperate for Elriel right now hahaha. Thanks for reading! 

OH, BUT ONE MORE THING. 

The greetings are really interesting. Sweet thing obviously refers to Feyre. Lady of night and princess of decay are clearly meant for Nesta. 

Fanged beast and trembling fawn are left for Elain. It’s easy to write this off as being about her LI and herself, respectively, but I don’t know. The sentences build upon each other. A single moniker grows to two - the first separated by a comma, the second expanding to use an and. It’s something you see a lot in poetry, generally used to emphasise a point. I’m not entirely sure what the point is; it might just be a nice writing flourish, but wouldn’t it be interesting if both those statements were referring to Elain herself? Wouldn’t it just be juicy? 

[kjack89]

An Agreement Between Gentlemen (Chapter 1/?)

Because nothing says ‘independence day’ like writing the participants in a French rebellion as members of the British upper class...

The Bridgerton AU that no one asked for. Will be at least 4 chapters, probably, to be published on a schedule only God herself can predict. Developing E/R, hijinks and shenanigans. All of the shenanigans.

One might recall when, not too long ago, the author of this paper hung up her pen and retired from reporting on the drama that each new season of fresh-faced debutantes and their endlessly anxious mothers brings. But alas, dear Reader, the excitement of this season has proven too much for this Author to suffer without company – which is why the pen has been passed to a new scribe.

But the fortuitous timing of the season has not been met with equally thrilling events for sharing here, as indeed, the most recent ball, hosted annually at the start of the season by the ever-insufferable Thénardiers, was positively under-attended. Not by the eager mothers that are the backbone of any season or their equally eager daughters, but by the young, eligible men who usually at least deign to make an appearance, dance a few dances, and exchange niceties as is expected for men of their station.

Instead, the only poor sap who wandered into the Thénardiers’ den of matchmaking was the Baron of Pontmercy, who was positively beset by hopeful ingénues, the most brazen of which was undoubtedly the Thénardiers’ eldest daughter, Éponine. While this Author notes that Miss Thénardier has had a patchy history with suitors and thus cannot be fully blamed for attempting to sink her claws into one as eligible as the baron, this Author must also sympathize with Baron Pontmercy, who seemed only to find himself with one moment to himself. 

Then again, rumor has it that his single moment was interrupted by an unknown young lady with an equally unknown chaperone who whisked her away posthaste. Her identity is one mystery both this Author and Baron Pontmercy are equally eager to discover, but the more pressing question is where the others of Baron Pontmercy’s gender were when they should have been equally beset by potential brides.

Never fear: Whatever answers I find, dear Reader, I shall certainly share with other enquiring minds. For a nominal fee, of course. While there are rumors of young men meeting in the backroom of a certain gentlemen’s club to discuss the overthrow of society, capitalism, and the King himself, this Author, being of the gentler sex, finds herself unable to obtain an invite, and as such, alas, cannot bring herself to comply with their lofty goals. LADY WHISTLEDOWN’S SOCIETY PAPERS, 20 MARCH 1831

The air in the backroom at the Musain Gentlemen’s Club was hazy with smoke and thick with plentiful conversation as its guests, all young men dressed in their dinner best, traded stories and jokes in between sips of their drinks.

At least one among them was not drinking, though – Enjolras, who sat in an overlarge armchair towards the back of the room, his back to one of the large windows that spanned almost the entire height of the wall. He alone was also not joining his friends in their merriment, his brow instead creased as he read over something.

When he had finished, he glanced up. “Combeferre,” he called, barely raising his voice despite the cacophony of the room. 

Not that he needed to: the moment he spoke, the room fell quiet as all eyes glanced at him as if waiting for him to continue. In return, he just arched an eyebrow at them. “Well, don’t let me put an end to your fun.”

A dark haired man sitting at a table in the far corner playing cards with two others raised his glass in a mocking toast. “Worry not,” he called in return. “You won’t.”

Laughter broke out yet again at that, and most of their number returned to their previous conversations as Combeferre pulled up a chair next to Enjolras’s. Enjolras pursed his lips, looking unamused. “Why is Grantaire even here?” he asked Combeferre, who, quite to the contrary, looked like he was trying not to laugh.

“I imagine because you have not yet told him that you wish for him to leave and never return,” Combeferre said evenly before giving Enjolras a rather assessing look. “Assuming, of course, that is what you wish.”

Enjolras ground his teeth together. “That’s not the point—”

Combeferre cleared his throat. “No, the point is that you had a comment, I assume, about the pamphlet I gave you to review.”

Enjolras still looked disgruntled, but seemed more than willing to allow the change in subject. “The pamphlet is fine, but I imagine you already knew that.” He handed the pamphlet draft back to Combeferre before asking, “What do you imagine the distribution schedule to look like? With Parliament sitting this week—”

He was interrupted by a thin, rather-nervous looking man appearing at his elbow, the doorman to the establishment who was paid a decent sum by each man inside the room to not interrupt them and to report nothing of their comings and going to any who might enquire. When Enjolras had made that arrangement, he had been thinking of the police; when his friends had followed his lead, most were thinking of their mothers.

“M’Lord Enjolras, I do beg your pardon—” he started, sounding almost as nervous as he looked.

Enjolras’s brow furrowed again. “It’s fine, what is it?” he asked, a touch impatiently.

The doorman bobbed his head and cleared his throat. “There is a, ah, a woman seeking entry.”

Bahorel, seated nearby, let out a wolf whistle. “The young ladies of the season are getting restless!” he crowed, to much laughter. 

“Restless, and bold, if they are coming into the city to seek their groom, and without a chaperone to boot,” Bossuet said with a grin.

“Leave to Enjolras to be the one to cause all tradition to break,” Jehan sniggered.

Enjolras could feel his ears burning red but he studiously ignored the jeers and catcalls from his friends, instead frowning at the doorman. “May I ask why are you telling me this?” he asked, struggling to keep his voice even. “Last I checked, it was your policy to restrict admittance to men, despite my protestations to the contrary.”

“Of course, M’Lord, it’s just…” The doorman quailed slightly at the look Enjolras gave him. “The woman in question claims to be your mother.”

Immediately, all jokes ceased as identical, horror-stricken looks crossed the faces of each of his friends. Enjolras blanched, all the blood draining from his face. “Did you confirm that I was inside?” he asked, a little desperately.

The doorman shook his head, his eyes widening. “No, of course not, m’lord’s discretion being of utmost importance to this establishment.” He hesitated. “That said, she did not appear to believe our denial, and is threatening to come inside and verify for yourself that you are not here.”

Enjolras groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Of course she is,” he sighed. He glanced at Combeferre as if considering asking for his assistance, but seemed to think better of it, instead standing and drawing himself up to his full height. “Right,” he said. “Well, I think you’ve got everything handled here, so I suppose I’ll just go, er, handle this situation.”

Combeferre again looked like he was trying very hard not to laugh. “Of course,” he said. “And, if you do not return, I shall call upon you later this week, shall I?”

“Yes, but the question will be more whether you should call upon me at my house or at the hospital,” Enjolras muttered, and it was to Combeferre’s credit that he still somehow managed not to laugh.

The same could not be said for Grantaire, who started humming what Enjolras recognized vaguely as a funeral dirge as soon as he headed towards the door, and Enjolras gave him the nastiest glare he could muster. Of course, Grantaire was unaffected – if anything, it only caused his grin to widen, and he raised his cup in yet another mocking toast as Enjolras swept out of the room to go deal with his mother.

It was anyone’s guess whether his mother or Grantaire irritated him more.

He started to ask the doorman where his mother was, but found that he did not need to ask – her voice was echoing all the way from the entrance hall. “I am the Dowager Marchioness of Enjolras,” she was practically shrieking, and Enjolras winced, mentally calculating how much money it would take to smooth this particular incident over. Certainly less than when Courfeyrac almost burned the place down, but almost certainly more than when Bahorel and Grantaire had gotten into a fistfight and broken two statues and a chandelier.

He really needed better friends.

And a different mother.

“I demand to speak with my son!” his mother continued, her voice rising in both volume and pitch. “And do not give me this nonsense that he is not here, I know quite well where my son is!”

“M’lady, I apologize, but as I have said, we cannot confirm that your son—”

“I shall confirm it for myself,” Enjolras interrupted, saving the poor proprietor, who had never looked more relieved to see him. “Mother, kindly stop screeching at these gentlemen for doing their jobs.” His mother spluttered incoherently  but Enjolras knew better than to allow her the chance to regroup.

Instead, he grabbed her by the elbow and steered her to the door, glancing over his shoulder to nod his thanks at the proprietor. As soon as they were outside the building, Enjolras dropped any pretense at propriety. “What the hell were you thinking?” he snapped, not releasing his mother from his grip. “Coming all the way into the city to find me? Pray tell what could possibly have been so important to cause such a scene!”

His mother yanked her arm from his grasp and glared up at him. “A scene?” she repeated, her voice deathly quiet. “My dear son, if you consider that a scene, you are ill-prepared for what is soon to follow.”

Enjolras sighed and tried not to roll his eyes. “There is no need for theatrics—”

Without warning, his mother slapped him across the face. “Theatrics?” she hissed. “When I have spent every waking moment these past several years trying to ensure your future and the future of our house!”

She made as if to hit him again but Enjolras caught her wrist, staying her hand. “Madam, you may be the Dowager Marchioness but I am the Marquess of Enjolras, and I will not permit you to assault me in the streets, my mother or not.” He released her arm before adding sardonically, “Besides, think of the gossip.”

Again his mother gave him no warning to gird himself, but this time, she burst into tears, sobbing into his shirt. “Oh, for the love of—” Enjolras took her again by the elbow, gentler this time, and led her to where her carriage waited. “Get a hold of yourself,” he snapped. “You have already made enough of a scene this evening.”

“Perhaps a scene is what it will take!” she half-shouted in return. “For you to finally listen to me, to hear what I have been telling you!” Enjolras rolled his eyes, holding out his hand to help her into her carriage, but she stubbornly refused to move. “Since you clearly don’t listen to me when I make arrangements solely for your benefit.”

“I assure you, you have never once done anything solely for my benefit,” Enjolras said tiredly. “But if it will stop your screaming then please, tell me the latest way in which I have ruined your plans for my future.”

“The Thénardier ball!” his mother wailed, crying again. “All those eligible young ladies, and you could not even deign to show your face! How am I to get you married at this rate?”

Enjolras rolled his eyes so hard he half-feared he would pull a muscle. “Hang the bloody Thénardier ball,” he ground out, hesitating for only a moment before picking his mother up and placing her inside the carriage, swinging up after her before she could protest. 

“What are you doing?” she cried as the carriage moved off at double speed, and Enjolras thanked whatever higher power there was that his mother’s driver also clearly did not wish to linger.

Enjolras sighed. “You wanted me attention,” he said tiredly. “So you have it, albeit not in public where you clearly wanted it.”

For one long moment, his mother just glared at him, tears shining on her cheeks. Then she sighed and sat upright, her pose turning almost prim as she drew a linen handkerchief from her sleeve and delicately dabbed the tears from her cheeks. “Very well,” she said calmly, all traces of earlier hysteria gone in an instant, and Enjolras realized immediately that he had been duped, that he had played directly into her hands.

She had anticipated that making a scene would be the easiest way to get him to leave with her.

And now she had him as a captive audience for however long it took for her driver to reach her house. And while he was not a betting man, he would wager all his money and lands that she had directed her driver to take the long way.

His mother was smiling at him, a cold, unpleasant smile, and Enjolras groaned, tipping his head back against the pillowed cushions. “Please don’t tell me that you really pulled all of that because you wished to discuss the Thénardier ball.”

“Don’t be foolish,” she said before tapping his knee. “And sit upright, you will cause your clothes to wrinkle.” Enjolras groaned and reluctantly sat upright, glaring balefully at her as he waited for her to continue. “No, I merely wished to discuss something and this seemed the easiest way.”

“Then by all means, please tell me: what do you want to discuss?”

“Why, what else?” she asked, a small smirk lifting the corners of her mouth. “Your marriage.”

----------

There were few things that Enjolras loathed more than being hoodwinked by his own mother into a conversation he’d been spending the past several years avoiding, but as he stood staring up at the rather imposing façade of a house he had been to only perhaps a handful of times, he thought this just might rank.

Still, his options were decidedly limited, and he hesitated only a moment more before climbing the stairs to the front door, knocking briskly. In telling of a house less used to visits during the season, it took a moment for the butler to answer the door, and Enjolras shifted uncomfortably on the stoop as he waited. 

“May I help you?” the butler asked as he opened the door. 

“Yes,” Enjolras said. “I’m here to see Grantaire.”

The butler eyed him warily. “And who should I tell Mr. Grantaire is here to see him?”

It took everything in Enjolras not to roll his eyes. “Tell him that the Marquess of Enjolras requests his presence,” he said dryly, hating the way the butler’s eyes widened when he realized just who was standing in the doorway.

“Of– of course, m’lord,” the butler said, immediately opening the door wider to usher Enjolras indoors. “Beg your pardon, m’lord. I’ll just, ah, go fetch Mr, Grantaire.”

He retreated up the stairs and Enjolras finally did roll his eyes, sighing heavily as he wandered a little further indoors. He had spent half his life, it seemed, going from one grand house to another, so very little surprised him, but he was intrigued by what he might find in Grantaire’s house. While his own park-adjoining manor had been in his family for generations, and was decorated accordingly, Grantaire came from new money, and this house had belonged to a different family entirely not even a decade before. 

He paused to examine a small portrait of two young children, a boy and a girl, when he heard footsteps clattering on the stairs and he turned to look up as Grantaire joined him, a jacket rather hastily thrown on and buttoned incorrectly.

“My Lord.”

Grantaire’s voice was pitched just slightly higher than usual, in a way that indicated genuine surprise at finding Enjolras standing in his foyer, but somehow still retained the telltale lilt that Enjolras had long since realized meant Grantaire was making fun of him. 

He scowled automatically. “Enjolras,” he corrected with an exasperated half-sigh.

Grantaire inclined his head, a smirk twisting his lips. “My lord Enjolras,” he said, and Enjolras’s scowl deepened.

“Just Enjolras,” he said flatly, not waiting for Grantaire to escort him into the house, instead crossing the foyer to peer into the front sitting room. 

“By all means, make yourself at home,” Grantaire said, following him.

Enjolras twisted his head to give Grantaire a smirk of his own. “As you seem so keen to remind me, I outrank you,” he said. “And believe me when I say this is one time I will feel no guilt using the trappings of the nobility to my advantage.”

Grantaire just snorted, brushing past him into the sitting room, ignoring the tea that had been set on the table and instead making his way over to the drink cart against the far wall. “Forgive me, but I can think of many instances where you undoubtedly used your title and your family to your advantage without any guilt,” he said dryly, pouring himself half a glass full of amber liquid before pausing, considering it, and adding another finger. “But let’s save that particular fight for a different time.” He turned back to Enjolras and raised his glass in a mock toast. “For now, before I forget my manners any further, let me say welcome to my home, and please, allow me to pour you a cup of tea.”

“I am capable of pouring my own tea, thanks,” Enjolras said, a little stiffly, and he sat down on one armchair before leaning forward to rather stubbornly do just that.

Grantaire did not join him, as if he thought keeping physical distance between them might keep things civil. “Only you would think that hospitality was an insult.”

Enjolras arched an eyebrow. “The way you said it, it was.”

“You underestimate my capacity for being genuinely polite,” Grantaire said dryly, taking a large sip of his whiskey.

“Do I?”

“Tell me, my Lord—” Enjolras gritted his teeth but chose not to interrupt him. “—if not to insult me to my face in my own home, what brings you here, and at tea time no less?”

His voice was calm, pleasant even, but Enjolras felt himself flush in realization that he had done exactly that. And no matter how frequently he might wish to throttle Grantaire with his own hands, that was offensive even for him. “I’m sorry,” he muttered, looking down at his tea as he stirred it. “I have been rude.

Grantaire looked briefly surprised, as if he had not expected an apology. But then his smirk was back in full force. “All is forgiven...my lord.” Enjolras really might shatter his teacup at this rate. “But you still didn’t answer my question as to why you are here.”

Enjolras set his teacup down and straightened, looking Grantaire in the eye. “I came to ask for your help.”

Grantaire laughed. “So you come to my home, uninvited, you insult me to my face, and you still have the audacity to ask for my help?” He drained half of his whiskey in one long gulp. “You are lucky you have been granted the face of a Greek god, Apollo.”

“Don’t call me that,” Enjolras sighed, though he knew it was a losing battle. Grantaire had called him that on the first day they met, when Grantaire was finishing college and Enjolras just beginning, and he had continued to call him that for all the years since. “Look, I am sorry, and not just because I need your help. I am ill suited to polite society and the longer the season drags on, the more foul my temper becomes.”

Grantaire made a small noise of agreement. “You and I both,” he murmured, draining his glass and pouring himself another before finally joining Enjolras, settling into the armchair across from him. “Very well. You have my attention.”

Enjolras leaned forward, sudden urgency in every line of his body. “Word has it that you were instrumental in helping Lord Joly and Mr. Lesgle avoid scandal last season when both were in love with Lady Musichetta.”

“Well, we avoided a big scandal at least,” Grantaire said, eyeing Enjolras carefully. “There must always be a little bit of a scandal or none would believe it.”

Enjolras waved a dismissive hand. “Either way, all three are happy, and living at Lord Joly’s estate, and not a word about them has been wasted in Lady Whistledown’s papers this season.”

Grantaire arched an eyebrow. “I am astonished to learn you have read any of the newly-revived Lady Whistledown’s papers, let alone with enough frequency to speak with such authority on the subject.:

Enjolras flushed a mottled red and looked away. “It’s an easy conversation topic,” he muttered, “when I am forced to speak to those with whom I have nothing in common.”

“Such as the twittering nitwits your mother foists upon you at every turn?” Grantaire asked lightly.

Enjolras met his eyes evenly. “Exactly. And exactly why I am here.”

Grantaire’s eyes narrowed. “You’re here to better learn how to talk with women?” he asked, almost certainly purposefully obtuse. “I admit, I am an expert on the subject, but—”

“Of course not,” Enjolras snapped. “Not to mention if I did need help in that arena, you would be the last person I would turn to.”

Grantaire laughed. “Your loss, he said cheerfully. After all, to have bedded as many women as I with a face like mine requires quite the expert hand at wooing.” Enjolras rolled his eyes and Grantaire smirked before taking another sip of whiskey. “Very well. If you are not here for my help in speaking to young ladies to finally secure a marriage match, then why are you here?”

“Because I do need to marry someone,” Enjolras said, trying not to sound as desperate as he felt. “But I need it not to be real.” Again he met Grantaire’s eyes. “And you are the only person I can think of who can help me pull that off.”

[evilwickedme]

ok so to sum up my feelings for leverage: redemption, season 1(a): (long post warning, there’s a tl;dr at the end)

I knew that Hardison wouldn’t be in most of the season due to Aldis Hodge being a busy bee nowadays, but I didn’t realize that meant he’d only be around for the first two episodes. He was sorely missed, not only because of my attachment to him, but also because he’s usually the grounding factor in the group dynamic, and his role as info guy and tech guy was split evenly between two characters who had their own issues.

That said, Hardison is absolutely a highlight of the two episodes he’s in. his speech about redemption was everything I could’ve hoped for (plus, more evidence for the Jewish!Hardison pile...). I wish we’d gotten to see more of his dynamic with Breanna because what we saw was funny and sweet and we don’t generally get to see Hardison taking care of somebody who so desperately needs taking care of. I hope that Aldis Hodge is around for more episodes in 1(b), because what we’re left with feels a little hollow.

Sticking to original leverage characters for now, for the most part the leverage crew still felt true to the original series as characters, even if the show itself was a little bit confused at times. The actors understand their characters and embody them so well that I think one could give them the trashiest script ever and they’d still sell it. Sophie is a particular focus in 1(a) because of Nate’s death, and she’s particularly well written as a result.

That said, I’m super bitter that we saw little to no mastermind!Parker. Parker’s character being given the mastermind role was a big deal and it feels like they’re walking it back because they feel uncomfortable with it. It is eventually given an in-text excuse, but literally in the last episode, and it was not a particularly convincing reason, and in fact contradicted moments from previous episodes (Sophie leaving for a client meeting and ignoring Parker in ep3 comes to mind). It’s frustrating, it makes the end of the original leverage feel pointless, and letting Parker make a decision once in a while is not the same thing at all. The original series repeatedly showed us that while everyone in the team had their strengths, Parker works problems and solves them in unique, interesting ways, and other characters’ days in the limelight tended to be comedic or even failures. It’s a broken promise, and a pretty major broken promise at that.

On a more positive note, Parker’s dynamic with literally everyone was fantastic. She’s possibly the best written character this season. They’ve taken the autism out of the subtext and into the text (although obviously still undiagnosed), and given her coping mechanisms that were taken seriously in the text even when they were played for laughs, which I appreciated. Her attempts to mentor Breanna were sweet, her friendship with Sophie was electric and at times (CRIMES) hilarious, and as usual, she has a fantastic dynamic with Eliot that makes my heart burst. If you don’t think they’re romantically involved, at least acknowledge there’s a life partnership here. They’ve spent the last decade together.

(We’ll get to Harry.)

Eliot isn’t given much arc-wise, which is frustrating since he’s my favorite. He’s being presented as the goal at the end of a redemption arc, ie to keep working at it every day until your soul heals or whatever, and it doesn’t reflect the message they’re trying to convey via Hardison’s speech and our two new characters. He’s got his moments, but I think they under utilized his potential.

Breanna!!! Breanna’s my new favorite, except for Eliot. She’s hilarious, she’s insecure, she’s nerdy and excited in a way that’s similar to Hardison but still distinct in its inherent teenage-girl-ness and I LOVE IT. Unlike the previous series, where Hardison’s “age of the geek” was often a joke played on Hardison, we’re at the point where Eliot and Parker are both right there with him, and so they accept and even appreciate Breanna’s nerdiness. Also, canon gay character? In YOUR Leverage? It’s more likely than you think.

(No, I never thought they’d make ot3 canon on screen. I hoped, but I didn’t think it would actually happen.)

I think Breanna’s the character that will be the most interesting to see grow. She’s got a lot of potential and a list of crimes a mile long (or more). I adore her with all my heart. I want to see her tiktok account.

Harry. Oh, Harry.

It took me a while, but I do like Harry. It took a while, because the narrative positioned him at the same level as Nate back in episode 1 of original Leverage. But in episode 1 we didn’t know the other characters. We had Nate as the POV character, and so we cared about him because we were seeing the world through his eyes. (This is TV Studies 101. I know this, because I took TV Studies 101 in 2019.) In Leverage: Redemption, we no longer have a POV character, for several reasons:

Nate, previously the POV character, is dead.

As it is, by mid-season 3 of leverage Nate was no longer a POV character. This is, coincidentally, the point where the leverage writers realized they had four other characters in the main cast they could do something with, and in-universe, Nate accepted that he was a thief, not a special Good Man.

Sophie is sort of a POV character for the first episode of the revival, but only for the first few minutes. Afterwards, the series settles into the groove of seasons 3-5, i.e., the entire crew is our POV. We know our crew, and we love them as is.

Narratively, however, Redemption insists on positing Harry as the POV character, because it is his redemption we are pursuing most vehemently. And I think they really relied on us already knowing the actor - I’ve never seen him in anything before, so to me he was a completely fresh face and they put almost no effort into selling him to me. Beyond being competent and consistently mildly baffled by the antics of the leverage crew, I honestly don’t know who this man is by the end of EIGHT episodes with him. I have a much better handle on Breanna by the end of 1(a), and I can tell you I knew all five of the original leverage crew better by the end of the first episode of the original series than I do Harry. What’s the name of his daughter, John Rogers. Is he still married. How old is the daughter. Why is none of this worth mentioning. Give him a sense of humor that isn’t reacting to other people’s shenanigans. I’m so frustrated. It’s bad writing.

I did manage to grow to like Harry by the end, but I’m pretty sure this is down to Noah Wyle’s charismatic portrayal of an under-developed character, at least partially. And I never stopped being frustrated at not knowing who this man is at all.

The two highlights of the season are undoubtedly episodes five and six. Episode five was the first time I felt like the episode was more than a collection of good moments between the main cast and mediocre moments between the main cast and also the main plot. The issues with pacing and tone that I suffered through for most of the season were mostly non-existent in ep5 and 6, and at least in episode 5 I attribute that to the pared down cast. They had time to focus not only on our actual characters - Sophie, Parker, Breanna - but also on the case. This is the only client from 1(a) I am going to remember next week without googling it first, mark my words.

Episode six worked for the exact opposite reason - it completely disregarded the client and plot and immersed itself in the characters. Breanna gets a moment to shine, but everybody else gets their bits and I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the script that was most fun to write. The characters felt natural, real, and captured the found-family dynamic that’s been missing all season for the first time.

While episode 2 is the weakest episode, I don’t actually have much to say about it. I am disappointed in episode 8. For a mid-season finale, I really expected them to do something. Instead, it was an episode about Nate Ford that copped out of being about Nate Ford (both with fake-Nate and with the new version of him being relayed to us). I would have told the writers to give that energy back to episode 1 and write an episode that’s about anybody who isn’t Harry, oh my God. I know I said I grew to like him but so many episodes were about Harry. He’s the newbie! Why didn’t Hardison get an episode that was actually about him, considering he was only around for two episodes? Why does Eliot have to be the butt of the joke when the theme of the series should directly tie back to him in a much more meaningful way? The last episode parodies their own tagline by saying Eliot isn’t just a hitter, but it deftly avoids noticing that they’ve turned him into nothing more than very muscly comic relief, including in that very episode!

Also, I hated the Marshal. Eliot actively looked uncomfortable around her.

tl;dr

The season took a while, that’s definitely true. But it did find its footing eventually, and by the halfway mark of 1(a) it finally felt cohesive again. The characters were played fantastically even when they weren’t well-written, and if nothing else, the humor landed every time. It still has its kinks and problems to work out, but if you look at it as a brand new show rather than a continuation of one that went off the air over eight years ago, it’s actually doing rather well. I’m choosing to judge it in both lights - according to its own standards, it establishes its identity in episode five; according to Leverage standards, it establishes its connection to its roots in episode six. Either way, I thoroughly enjoyed 1(a), and continue to have high hopes for 1(b).

fic writing will commence in three, two, one...

[hiccanna-tidbits]

*kicking at your door, smashing it* DING DONG

Hello! 🥰🌸

from "Questions You Should Be Able To Answer For Any OTP" 1,3,4,5,9 and 10 for moanida!😅💜 But you can answer all of them or only few of them is it's too much ahaha

Ily, take care!!

YEAH BOIIII

Coffee shop AU: Who is the barista, and who frequents the coffee shop?

I'm just imagining Moana being a barista at some hole-in-the-wall authentic Polynesian coffee place by the beach, and of course Merida because she damn well needs her caffeine in the morning or she'll pass out, and Rapunzel insists on starting these fucking Squad Beach Days early. Merida was honestly willing to take the first cup of coffee she could get when the gang first went into town, but uhhhhhh oh GOD that girl behind the counter is cute!!! Merida starts "ending up" in there quite a lot, although initially she can barely string a coherent sentence together in front of that cute barista and can't make eye contact for more than half a second. Extroverted as she can be, Merida dissolves into an absolute mess as soon as a pretty girl is involved XD

Merida also pretends to only like black coffee to make herself seem tough, but in reality she kind of hates it and prefers sugar-laden lattes and sweet teas. After a while, when she and Mo have established kind of a friendship, and Merida can have an conversation with Mo without imploding and making an idiot of herself, Mo notices Mer making a face every time she sips her Plain Black Coffee and kinda smirks and is like “You know, there’s no shame in adding sweeteners. I mean, for god’s sake, my favorite drink here is the blonde vanilla coconut latte, and I’m still pretty tough.” Merida is just like “OH THANK GOD” and finally admits that she’d much rather be ordering an Irish crème, toffee, buttered rum, cinnamon, or caramel latte. If the seasonal flavor selection offers any apple-accented or apple pie-esque lattes, Merida’s all about that shit, too! Probably the most “intense” drink Merida actually enjoys is a pretty spicy cinnamon latte. She ends up ordering this pretty frequently to impress Moana with her spice tolerance, even though she really doesn’t need to.

Also, in case there’s any question about it--yes, Moana absolutely memorizes Merida’s orders! Moana also memorizes what flavor syrups Merida seems to like best (i.e. spicy cinnamon, apple pie, caramel, toffee, butterscotch) and gives them extra shots of them in her drinks. When the manager complains about all of Merida’s favorite flavor syrups running out frequently, Moana is like “Oh nooooo, I have no idea why THAT could be! That’s terrible!”

Rivals to lovers AU: Who takes their rivalry seriously, and who is half in it just to push the other’s buttons?

I love the idea of them having a super-petty sports rivalry in a modern AU! Merida strikes me as being competitive as hell, so I’m betting anything she’d be the one to take it way too seriously and get increasingly annoyed with Moana outdoing her, while Mo kind of gives in and indulges Mer but is also secretly amused and kind of flattered that Mer is like...that into their rivalry. Moana’s just like *Regina George voice* “Why are you so OBSESSED with me???”

Like maybe in a modern-day college AU, Merida has been the star of her college’s archery team basically since freshman year. She wins the championships!!! She gets the trophies!!! She’s very well-known within the tiny niche community that is college archery!!! Then, come junior year, this girl in Merida’s year who Merida’s never even SEEN before shows up out of nowhere and makes the cut for the team. She’s honestly way better than she has any right to be (like judging by how she is with that harpoon gun, Moana’s aim is pretty damn good) and is constantly stealing the spotlight, and Merida is a very angry lass. Like it seems like no matter what she does, Moana can always one-up her, and Merida wants to tear her hair out in frustration. Doesn’t help that every time Moana does ridiculously good on a drill and gets 7 bullseyes in a row or some shit, she’s insufferably smug and cocky about it. Merida very-nearly throws a fit every time Mo outdoes her, and Moana honestly finds the whole thing pretty amusing. She’s sort of flattered that apparently only she can get such dramatic reactions out of Mer, and that just tempts her to push Mer’s buttons all the more.

Then, come the annual Big Archery Tournament Finals! As usual, Merida’s college’s team wins--although this time, it’s through a combination of Merida’s and Moana’s skills rather than just Merida kicking archery ass for like 2 hours straight. On the individual evaluations, Moana scores higher than Merida, but only by a little bit. Merida is, of course, extremely salty, but she’s also grudgingly grateful that Moana being there was able to give their team a definitive edge in the competition.

Afterwards, the team goes out for celebratory drinks. After probably 3 drinks too many, Moana finally works up the courage to try and actually like...have a straight conversation with Merida for once, instead of just communicating with passive-aggressive show-offery. She wanders over, sits next to Mer at the bar, and half-slurredly asks if she can declare a truce just for one night, in honor of their kind-of-teamwork winning the tournament. Merida is also a few drinks in, so she’s just like “sure, fuck it, maybe yer not so bad after all. Now prove to me you’re not a pain in the arse!”

They chat for a while, and it turns out Moana is actually pretty easygoing and fun to talk to when she’s not mega-flexing with her archery skills. After a few more drinks, Moana is like “...can I tell you something?” and Merida’s like “why not?”

And then Moana just goes bright red and looks away and admits that the whole reason she got into archery and boosted up her skills enough to join the team in the first place was because she saw Merida making like 50 bullseyes at the previous year’s tournament, and developed a huge crush on her--to the point where she did all this extra-ass shit just so she could join the archery team and get to know Merida better. Also, every instance of Moana acting smug and cocky after acing a drill or perfectly hitting a target? It was honestly because she was trying to impress and show off to Merida, and also because she’s awkward as hell and has no idea how to actually flirt without being joke-mean and joke-cocky. Merida, a much more emotional drunk than she will ever admit, starts crying and gets super apologetic, because oh god, she was being so mean and rude to this girl who only ever thought she was cool and wanted to impress her from the jump??? How COULD she??? Moana lowkey loses her shit laughing because how mad Merida got at being upstaged was honestly kind of hilarious, and she was actually really flattered that Merida was, again, that obsessed with their rivalry. It made Moana feel weirdly special that only she could get to Merida that much, and she honestly liked the attention, even if it...wasn’t the most positive XD And Merida starts laughing, too, because she’ll admit that in hindsight, this whole thing feels a little ridiculous, and extracurricular college archery really isn’t that big of a deal.

Finally, Merida just rolls her eyes and says “C’mere, yeh bloody show-off yeh” and grabs Moana by the front of her archery uniform and smooches her!!! The entire archery team hoots and hollers because OH SHIT, DAT GAY!!! Merida holds out her other hand and flips the entire team off, which honestly just makes them cheer more.

Enemies to lovers AU: Which one switches sides?

Depends a lot on the conflict, I think! Maybe a war breaks out in an AU where someone other than Moana is chosen to return the Heart of Te Fiti--I’m gonna say Tui, for irony’s sake! Moana and Sina take over as co-chiefs while he’s gone, but he takes significantly longer than Moana did in the quest, so Moana’s tribe is eventually forced to flee Motunui to find new fishing grounds before their island is overtaken by darkness. The people of Motunui sail across the world, trying to find a new place to call home. Unfortunately, every time they find a habitable place, it’s already occupied, and the people who live there are uninterested in sharing their already-scarce food.

Eventually they stumble upon Dunbroch, far enough away from Motunui that the seas aren’t affected by the spreading darkness, and fish are plentiful. Naturally, Moana’s tribe sets up a camp on the shores and starts catching as many fish as they can, hoping they’ve finally found a place where they can have enough to eat again. Unfortunately Fergus and Elinor aren’t too crazy about this, and are like “yo, these oceans and these fish and other game belong to the people of Dunbroch and you gotta leave” and Sina and Moana are like “Pls we don’t have any place to go and we’ve been barely eating for a long-ass time, can’t you spare some food?” and Fergus and Elinor are like “sorry bro, it’s almost winter and we have our own entire kingdom to look after, we don’t need more mouths to feed. You gotta be on your way or shit’s gonna get real.”

So Moana thinks this sounds sketch as fuck because like...there’s an entire forest full of deer, rabbits, and other game, and they have NO food they can spare??? That night, Sina sends Moana to spy on the kingdom, since she can be pretty sneaky when she wants. Moana manages to climb the castle battlements and watch through a window, and she sees a bunch of people enjoying a massive feast in a huge dining hall. Her eyes are particularly drawn to a girl about her age with a head full of bright, fiery curls, wearing a nice dark green dress and gorging herself on pastries adorned with white icing and raspberries.

Moana heads back and tells Sina “actually it looks like these assholes have PLENTY of food to spare, and they just want to keep it all for themselves” and Sina is like “well shit...why don’t we raid their food store, then??? They’ve gotta have one somewhere!” And so the Motunui village storms Castle Dunbroch at dawn, catching them almost completely by surprise.

The first thing Moana does is seek out the redheaded pastry girl, whom she’s developed a particular disdain for. When she rushes her, she’s surprised that the ginger girl whips around and immediately sends an arrow sailing into her shoulder. When Moana gets close, the redheaded girl pulls out a sword. Moana takes out a long, sharpened wooden spear made from a particularly tough oar.

She turns out to be much more competent than Moana expected, especially for someone who was shamelessly shoving sweets into her mouth not 7 hours earlier.

They go toe to toe Raya-and-Namaari style, and the redheaded girl admittedly gives Moana a run for her money. The longer the battle goes on, the more Moana’s rage grows. She taunts the redheaded girl the entire time, calling her a spoiled, selfish brat who’d rather gorge herself with all the sugar in the world than share even one grain of it. Merida, who hasn’t exactly heard good things about these people from her parents, is just like “well, you’re no better, showing up and thinking you can just steal what belongs to Dunbroch and we won’t put up a fight!”

And thus the war begins. Motunui is never quite strong enough to get through the guards and raid the food stores, and Dunbroch is never quite strong enough to fully drive Motunui out of the kingdom. Fergus and Moana are both far too stubborn to surrender (despite the fact that Sina is kind of ready to), and so the battles continue. Casualties start to pile up. Dunbroch seeks help from the other clans, but they refuse--they did not take their leaders’ sons being scorned by the Dunbroch princess lightly.

Over and over, Moana can’t help but be drawn to the redheaded girl. She realizes after a few battles that this girl isn’t just anymore, but the Dunbroch princess--her resemblance to the king and his protectiveness over her can’t be a coincidence. It only makes Moana hate her more--but time and time again, she isn’t able to get the better of the princess. Moana can fight hard, and she can be vicious--but so, she’s discovering, can the Dunbroch girl. The princess is clever and cunning, and underestimating her has almost gotten Moana a blade in the throat one too many times.

Merida would be the one to change sides eventually, I think (wooo! Finally got to the actual question!). Once she finds out her parents didn’t tell her the whole truth about their first meeting with the Motunui village and sorta fudged what happened, Merida is livid that they turned away people who needed help. She said if she had known there were people who were tired and hungry and just needed a place to rest, she would have gladly given up some of her own meals for them! To prove this, she gathers up her dinner--plus some apples and some pastries she was going to have for dessert--and puts it in a basket, taking it to the Motunui camp as a peace offering. Moana ambushes her and very nearly slices the basket in half, if only because Moana was convinced it was filled with venemous snakes. After some bickering, Moana finally snatches the food away and, after testing it to make sure it wasn’t poisoned, brings it to Sina.

Unfortunately, one basket of food isn’t enough to feed the village, and the fighting continues. Merida tries to convince her parents to share their food stores with Motunui, but they still refuse, saying they need those stores for their own people and the Motunui people killed any chance of goodwill they might get when they attacked. Determined not to see people starve, Merida starts stealing from the reserve herself and sneaking the food out to the Motunui camp. Moana is feeling a lot more kindly towards Merida at this point, and feels a little bad about being so quick to judge her initially.

Eventually, Fergus and Elinor notice the food in the stores going missing, and figure some of the Motunui villagers must be running stealth operations to sneak in and get it. Dunbroch launches a full-scale attack on Montunui--while Merida is at their camp sneaking them food, in fact. Fergus makes a beeline for Moana. Word has gotten out by now of the times she managed to spy on the castle, so her sneakiness is well-known--and Fergus is all but certain she’s the thief. He charges at her with his sword, aimed to kill, when his own daughter steps in the way.

He barely manages to stop himself, but he does just in time. Merida admits she was stealing the food the whole time, and she can’t let Fergus hurt Moana. Fergus demands to know why, and Merida tearfully admits “Because I love her!”

Fergus, in a rage, takes out his sword again and charges Merida. Swords clash between father and daughter, and Merida looks like she’s just about to be overpowered. Moana can see the fear and betrayal in her eyes, appalled that her father would actually contemplate hurting her.

Not wanting to see whether he actually would, Moana steps in and helps Merida to fend Fergus off. “Enough!” she screams. “How can you live with yourself? My father risked his life to try to save his daughter and his people--and you’re willing to fight yours because she doesn’t agree with all this senseless violence?! You make me sick! I’m standing with Merida, because...because I love her too. I’ll leave if you want, but I want this to end.”

This finally snaps Fergus out of it, and he and Elinor decide that maybe the fighting has gone on long enough--and maybe it’s not worth it anymore, if it’s pitting them against their own daughter now. They end up trying to work out something with Motunui. Establishing a peace treaty and figuring out how to proceed forward is a long and messy process, but everyone is willing to put in the work--for the sake of Merida and Moana, if for nothing else.

Soulmate AU: Who is eager to meet their soulmate? Who absolutely does not want to meet their soulmate?

Neither of them want to meet their soulmate XD Merida has just been repulsed by the idea of marriage and commitment since she was young, mainly because she can’t not see it as just a means of taking her freedom away and making her be subservient to someone. Besides, given the, um...heteronormative culture of Dunbroch and all, she assumes she’ll get not just stuck with, but cosmically bound to a man and that idea just...doesn’t do anything but fill her with unadulterated disgust XD Like please no, she’s perfectly happy to go where she pleases when she pleases with no one but Angus for company. The last thing she needs is some stuck-up, snot-nosed boy telling her what she can and can’t do.

Moana has similar concerns, although maybe a bit less extreme. She’s mainly worried that when she meets her soulmate and, as per expectation, marries them, she’ll be expected to “mature” into a full adult and fully embrace her responsibilities as chief, leaving behind her childhood dreams of exploring the ocean. Same as Merida, she’s worried the person she’s destined for will tie her down and prevent her from exploring and going on the adventures she craves so badly. She’s also, like Merida, worried she’ll get stuck with some lame, boring dude who she’ll be destined for because...he loves her!!! And will be really nice to her!!! But will not stimulate or interest her in any way whatsoever!!! And Moana is pretty uninterested in romance and dating regardless, so the idea of any kind of romantic partner who she’d hypothetically have to run crazy ideas by before just doing them doesn’t sound too appealing to her. Like, she’s happy where she is and having her friends and family for company, what does she need an SO for??? It just feels like the whole “soulmate” business is just the universe attempting to give her a babysitter, and Moana ain’t about that. She can do things on her own, dammit!!! And what makes the great elder love gods think she wants another person to keep track of on her escapades, anyways?!? It’s enough effort keeping herself safe without worrying about someone else!

Imagine their shocked delight when each finds out their soulmate is a) a girl and b) a girl arguably just as chaotic, adventurous, and rebellious as they are!!! They meet and they’re like “huh...maybe the universe wasn’t being some big dumb fucking idiot binding us together after all. I can work with this!!!”

Pirate AU: Who is the pirate? Who is the member of the royal family who did not sign up for this?

Merida is the pirate! Or at least...the one who becomes a pirate first! XD Maybe to escape her betrothal she steals a ship and flees Dunbroch, and BOOM trouble on the High Seas time!!! Eventually she sails to the south Pacific on her naval escapades, and stumbles on Motunui. When she finds out Moana is a chief’s daughter, she naturally kidnaps her and holds her for ransom--because screw it, she hasn’t successfully pillaged any merchant ships recently and she needs some cash. But instead of being like “Noooo take me home!” Moana is like “Actually this fucks, I’ve always wanted to sail the ocean anyways and my dad wouldn’t let me before, so you’ve accidentally given me an avenue to achieve my dreams!!! Thank you!!!” And Merida realizes that a first mate would actually be a lot more useful in the long run than a handful of hostage money, so she just kind of shrugs like “aight, yer on the crew.”

Merida is a bit salty because Moana takes to the pirate lifestyle excellently--so much so that before long, she’s arguably a better pirate than Merida XD While Merida is a bit cranky about being outdone in the art of piracy, she also can’t help but admire Moana’s natural aptitude for sailing and propensity for mischief on the High Seas!!!

Their ship is called “The Arrow,” and Merida definitely uses her bow during pirate-to-pirate combat! She teaches Moana how to shoot a bow, but discovers Mo is pretty nifty with a harpoon gun as well!

Childhood best friends AU: Which one was super obviously in love with the other the whole time? Who was oblivious until they were older?

Oooooh, this is a fun one!!! Admittedly I don’t usually think about these girls in a Childhood Friends to Lovers AU (very possibly due to...geographical constraints lol) so this’ll be a cool thought experiment!

SO in order to fix my unfortunate geographical constraints, I’m gonna say that this is an AU where the people of Motunui were wayfinders from the jump, and while voyaging (admittedly a LONG way), they stumbled upon Dunbroch. Moana’s parents and Merida’s parents immediately hit it off, and established a political alliance of sorts.

Moana, meanwhile, pulled the classic “little girl on vacation/at an event immediately seeks out other little girl and becomes best friends with her.” Moana and Merida naturally also hit it off immediately, and are both pretty bummed out when Tui and Sina want to leave and continue voyaging and such. However, they make plans to visit as frequently as they can and Merida and Moana are super hyped about this! They both always get extremely excited for said visits, and Little Moana nearly falls off the front of her family’s boat several times because she’s leaning over so far and squinting so hard to try and see Dunbroch.

I love the idea that Moana was the one who was totally smitten from the jump, to the point where it took her years to realize she was aspec because she was like “Of course I can fall in love!!! I’m in love with Merida!!!” She just didn’t realize most people have romantic inclinations toward more than one person over the course of their lives XD

It absolutely does not help that Merida is extremely romance-repulsed when they’re kids--mainly because she associates romance in general with being docile and acting stupid to impress some annoying macho guy, and that thought kinda makes her want to puke. That, and given how, er...heteronormative things are in Dunbroch, it doesn’t reall occur to her that romancing girls is like...an option. So poor Moana has always kind of resigned herself to thinking she has no chance with Merida, and keeps her feelings under pretty tight lock since she doesn’t want to ruin their close friendship and all and she doubts Merida even swings that way.

THEN when they’re in their early teens, Merida is like “hmmm...I wonder what it would be like to kiss Moana?” but then IMMEDIATELY feels weird for thinking that and tells absolutely no one. She’s definitely starting to feel something a little different than just platonic friendship though, and of course she’s also convinced Moana only sees her as a friend and probably doesn’t like girls.

Then one day they’re wrestling around out in the woods, like they have since they were little, and at one point Merida leans down and just impulsively kisses Moana. She’s super flustered and apologetic afterwards, but Moana just stares in shock before being like “holy shit, I never thought you’d actually want me too. Holy shit!!!!” After that, they start secret-dating and everyone around just thinks they’re still “very good friends” XD

When Merida turns 16 and gets the news of her betrothal, she’s devastated. It takes her several days to process her emotions, and several times she tries to protest to her mother, but Elinor steamrolls her and talks over her at every turn. Finally, when Merida can get a word in edgewise, she tearfully bursts out that she can’t go through with this because she loves Moana. Elinor, traditionally-minded woman that she is, is horrified by this.

When Fergus finds out, he GOES OFF at Elinor and sticks up for Merida. He basically says that she’s their daughter and they should want her to be happy, and they should be happy for her that she did find someone she loves, even if it’s a bit...unconventional.

Later, at the betrothal ceremony, Merida picks an archery contest for the suitors with the hopes of cheating the system and winning her own hand. Imagine her surprise when Moana rushes in late with a makeshift bow on her hip, shouting “I am Moana of Motunui, and I’ll be shooting for the princess’s hand as well!”

Luckily, due to Moana’s years and years of informal archery training from Merida herself, the other suitors really don’t stand a chance.

It turns out that Elinor and Fergus set this whole thing up, deciding in the end that their daughter should at least be able to marry who she loves if she had to get looped into a political marriage. And honestly, they weren’t going to say no to a stronger alliance with Motunui at the end of the day. Merida is so pleasantly shocked by the whole thing that she forgets to be mad about the fact that she’s still being pressured into a marriage pretty young XD Luckily, Moana has no intention of trying to hold Merida back or take her freedom away! Their relationship really barely changes after they officially become wives, and they’re still just as in love as they’ve basically always been.

As for the issue of heirs, Elinor and Fergus just make Merida’s brothers the heirs of Dunbroch, and Tui and Sina are fine with Moana and Merida choosing an heir for Motunui who isn’t necessarily their biological child. Neither Moana nor Merida are crazy about the “leaders have to be from the chief/monarch’s bloodline” rule anyways, so they’re more than fine with this!

This is in reference to this post! Still answering these questions for Moanida and Hiccanna, if I haven’t done so already!

@takaraphoenix come get your daily dose of Moanida!

[panharmonium]

@bloomiii asked: Hey!  Do you think merlin actually hates Mordred?

Heya!  I’m assuming this is a follow-up question to the ask that @once-and-future-gay​​ sent me the other day, and I gotta say, I love this question just as much as I did that one, so thank you!  :D  It’s a great ask - relevant one, definitely, for Season 5. 

I have kind of a lot to say about it, so I’m going to put most of this reply under a cut, but the short answer is this:

No, absolutely not.  I don’t think Merlin hates Mordred.

I think Merlin hates himself.

I wrote in the previous post on this topic (which I think this ask is a response to) about the actual reasons why Merlin is in conflict with Mordred, none of which are based on personal dislike and all of which come back to Merlin knowing that he has to prevent Mordred from killing Arthur, not out of a selfish personal desire to keep Arthur safe, but because Arthur’s survival is supposed to be the thing that is going to bring peace to the land and liberate the magical world.

But Merlin, as I said in that post, does not want to be in conflict with Mordred.  He likes Mordred.  He says as much, to Gaius.  He cares about Mordred as someone who shares his oppression, as shown in the beginning of the Disir.  He agrees to keep Kara a secret from Arthur, at the beginning of 5.11.  And Mordred’s philosophy - “the love that binds us is more important than the power we wield” - is literally as close to Merlin’s own as it can be.  That is exactly how Merlin, at his core, sees the world.

Everything Merlin does to Mordred, he does for no other reason than that he thinks he has to.  (And I discussed in that other piece how Merlin is not foolish or mistaken for thinking so, either - important to keep in mind.)  But all of the things he has to do go completely against his nature, and by the time we hit the end of 5.11, I really feel that Merlin has descended into a pit of self-loathing that the show, because its ending is so poorly constructed, never allows him to climb out of.  

Every decision Merlin is forced to make about Mordred makes him hate himself a little more.  The decision to let Mordred die in 5.05 is visibly traumatizing for him.  He takes no pleasure in leaving Mordred behind for Morgana in 5.10.  And 5.11 is the ugliest, most soul-killing situation Merlin has been confronted with yet - he is torn between doing what he truly wants to do and what he feels like he has to do, when Kara comes into the picture.  He initially tries to hide Kara from Arthur, because there is no part of him that wants a Druid to be captured and harmed, even if she was with Morgana’s forces.  Mordred tells Merlin, “she’s one of us,” and Merlin agrees.  “Your secret is safe with me,” he says (and those are sacred words for Merlin; they’re exactly what Lancelot says to him in 1.05; this is not something Merlin would ever promise lightly).  He doesn’t betray Mordred’s secret, and when Kara is captured (through no fault of Merlin’s own) Merlin is the one who originally urges mercy, telling Arthur, “you’re breaking his heart/you’ll lose his trust” when Arthur claims he has no choice but to pursue execution.

However, after that, when Merlin learns that Mordred plans to escape with Kara, he boomerangs back to “he’s going to run to Morgana and then he’s going to kill Arthur and I am not allowed to let that happen/magical and godly forces have all told me that the entire fate of Albion and the future of magic all depends on me preventing Mordred from killing Arthur.”  And so he tells Arthur that Mordred is planning to escape, ultimately leading to Mordred and Kara’s recapture.

But THEN, after THAT, when they’re back in custody -  Merlin urges mercy yet again.  He tells Arthur to “free them both.”  He says, “How will one more death bring about the peace we long for?”  Merlin does not want Kara to be killed.  He does not want Mordred to suffer.  He does not want any of this to have happened; he did not rat Mordred out because he wanted to; he did it because he truly believed (for legitimate reasons) that he had no choice.  Like I talked about in that previous post - Merlin, at this point in the show, feels that his life has no purpose beyond the fulfillment of the destiny that has been prophesied.  He has come to see himself as a tool, with no intrinsic worth or value beyond what he can do to ensure Arthur’s survival (and thus the establishment of peace for all people).  He hates the things he’s supposed to do, but he literally cannot see an escape for himself.  This is just what he was “born” to do.

Even as far back as Season 3 we see this helplessness growing in him:

You feel trapped.  Like your whole life has been planned out for you, and you've got no control over anything, and sometimes you don't even know if what destiny has decided is really the best thing at all.

Merlin, in 5.11, doesn’t feel like what destiny has decided is the best thing.  But he also has reached a point where he feels like he has to do what he was told.  He’s seen the future.  He’s been told by multiple magical and divine sources that Arthur is the Once and Future King who is going to build the “the world we dream of.”  And so he does things that he thinks will enable that future to arrive (like preventing Mordred from running away with Kara), but because these things go so completely against his nature and cause him such pain, he then whips around and says, “Don’t kill her.  Let them go.”  He can’t help himself from slipping back into the kind of person he truly is on the inside.

He is trapped between his true self and what he feels is an inescapable duty.  And every step he takes away from his true nature makes him hate himself more.

Kara’s interview with Arthur, where she refuses to repent her “crimes” in exchange for her life, has one of the most telling, devastating shots in the show, when she says, “It is not a crime to fight for the right to be who you are.”  The camera, in that moment, is trained on Merlin’s face, not hers:

That is done on purpose.  The cinematography is trying to say something.  It wants us to look at Merlin and listen to Kara’s word’s and hear the contradiction.  It wants us to recognize that Merlin is dying inside.  The absolute MISERY locked down in his expression here!  He has been forced to do things that seem to work against the very goal he’s been told he’s trying to achieve (to have the right to be who he is), and it’s been going on for so long that it’s shattered his soul.  He listens to Kara being able to say that, proudly, without fear, and he hates himself for not being like her.

But he can’t see any way to escape the things he knows he’s supposed to do.  So ultimately, at the very end, he does nothing, and Kara’s execution proceeds.

He despises himself for it, and when Mordred escapes and runs to Morgana, Merlin’s only reaction is a dull, hollow resignation.  He doesn’t blame Mordred for whatever’s going to happen next.  

He blames himself.

This is, yet again, another reason why the Merlin finale is garbage storytelling.

It makes no narrative sense for the show to give us 5.11, which ends with Merlin in quite possibly the darkest and most miserable, conflicted spot he has ever been in, and to then start the next episode with him having a raucous good time at the tavern.  Merlin, after what happens with Kara and Mordred, is not going to be out laughing and cheering, playing dice, and making casual, tongue-in-cheek, meta jokes about his secret like it isn’t the most painful and soul-destroying burden he’s ever had to carry (“Ah, I knew you’d discover my secret in the end.  There is just no fooling you, my lord!”).  It is inconceivable for him to be out partying, after the previous episode.  It’s insulting to me as a viewer, that the writers thought they could show this to me as if it’s an even remotely rational direction for the story to go, as if I’m not going ask “what the HECK is going on???” when I see Merlin gleefully stumbling home like a drunken frat boy, without a care or concern in the world.

There is ZERO tonal consistency between the end of 5.11 and the beginning of 5.12.  It’s horrendous writing, and it’s why I continuously say that Merlin BBC does not actually end, it just STOPS - abruptly cut off after 5.11, with a slapdash two-episode finale tacked on, one which does not actually resolve anyone’s arcs, or address any of the central questions of the show, or follow where the narrative was naturally heading prior to that point.

Merlin’s arc with Mordred is what finally takes him to a place where he is irrevocably, inescapably confronted with the conflict that he has been struggling with from day one - how is he supposed to justify the things that Destiny is asking him to do, when what it’s asking him to do seems to be hurting the very people he’s trying to help?  How is he supposed to reconcile his responsibility to his people (and HIMSELF) with an externally-imposed responsibility to protect Arthur?  He’s been wrestling with this cognitive dissonance for years, and 5.11 is the inevitable crisis point - Kara is dead, Mordred has defected to Morgana, Merlin’s secret is OUT, and Merlin has never hated or doubted himself more.  It makes no sense for the beginning of the next episode to show us Merlin living it up at the tavern.  Merlin is tortured, at the end of 5.11.  He’s dying inside.  The next episode was supposed to be a natural progression from that moment, meaning Merlin should have had the chance to finally confront his conflict head-on, rather than having it all completely wiped away by the pile of garbage that was the finale.

The correct fallout from Mordred’s “turn” should have been a reckoning.  Merlin never wanted to be in conflict with Mordred in the first place; he hated himself for everything he had to do, and I really think the end of 5.11 took us to a place where Merlin had finally been pushed over the edge; it was the last straw.  The only correct progression from that point would have been change, and Merlin was finally desperate enough to do what he needed to do to find himself again and make things right, but we never got to see it, because the people in charge decided to completely abandon every complicated question they’d been pursuing, in favor of “actually Arthur’s the good guy and we’re gonna pretend we didn’t just spend an entire episode reminding people how Camelot is still an unjust place.”

I don’t understand it.  The same people created 5.11, too.  They wrote Kara’s righteous speech.  They framed her execution as an evil, and they framed Mordred’s flight as something Merlin and Arthur brought upon themselves.  

And then they did a 180 and dumped every ethical question they ever raised.  They never let Merlin find his feet or hold his head up high, and I’m honestly never going to forgive them for that.

[pepper-snack]

Did anyone else have mixed feelings about Wizards? (spoilers)

Beyond however you feel about what happened to Jim.

Like I’m not going to sit here and pretend like I didn’t just binge the whole season in one sitting and ugly cry but

Some thoughts, some critiques, and some shameless gushing. Welcome to my TedTalk.

Soooooo I may be a lil biased because I think Trollhunters set a bar for character development and world building in the series that the following seasons just haven’t measured up to. There was so much love and nuance put into that world and every relationship in it. It’s the arc of this whole show that I find the most compelling, and that I keep coming back to. Of course there are flaws. Of course Claire is a Mary Sue. The lore is still top notch.

Which brings me to Wizards.

The Good!

-Spirit!Jim Pacing over Killahead, repeating his duties as a Trollhunter, and the responsibility he feels for the people he loves. Good lord. The despair. The resignation. They really nailed just how tired and defeated this boy must be.

-MY BOYS. Okayokayokay I’m an unabashed ho for the Galadribros but honestly every scene with them made me so happy. I had my fingers crossed that Dictatious would make an appearance but I was not expecting him to get as much screen time as he did! He and Blink have a single brain cell to split between them and I live for it. They made Dictatious out to be much bolder than I would ever have expected. It was inevitable but I was still so heartbroken when he got sucked into the Darklands, especially because the last scene we had with him was him getting carried away by goblins like a fucking goober.

-GENERAL AAARRRGGGHH!!! OH MY GOD WHAT A CHONK. WHAT A LAD. His redemption arc was hella rushed and a little clumsy (much like everything else in Wizards but I’ll get to that) but seeing those lil tender moments between him and Blinky? MY HEART.

-Dragon Dad. Quality character design. Archie’s reasoning for lying about who he is is kinda bullshit

- Hi Angor Rot so nice of you to stop by.

The Everything Else

-Everything felt so??rushed and disorganized??? and any lore that didn’t already exist from previous seasons felt so flimsy. The Arcane Order and their ooky spooky skull ship? The Genesis Seals, whatever those are? Literally everything involving the forest nymph and why she was there? I don’t mind being left with questions and leaving things up to interpretation, that’s part of the fun of any adventure, but this just seemed like clumsy writing.

-ToA isn’t new to continuity errors but like... The Amulet existed before Deya? It just seems so weird to me that Wizards established Deya as the first Trollhunter when there ARE SO MANY OTHER CANONICAL TROLLHUNTERS BEFORE HER. UNKAR WAS A RUNNING JOKE FOR THE WHOLE SERIES.

-Speaking of where was Kanjigar? We see Draal for about two seconds and none of the gang is going to acknowledge seeing their dead friend again?

-”Without the Amulet, can I even be the Trollhunter anymore?” Jimothy my darling again there was an entire episode establishing that YES. YES YOU CAN.

-WHY IS TOBY NO LONGER A PART OF TEAM TROLLHUNTERS. WHERE WAS STRICKLER. WHY HAS JIM NOT STOPPED IN TO SAY HELLO TO HIS MOTHER.

- What the fuck was Douxie doing for the past 900 years why do we not get any character development for him beyond what purpose he serves in relation to Merlin/Morgana/Team Trollhunters.

- Are we never going to find out what happened to Jim and the rest of the trolls on their way to New Jersey? It seemed like they were going to build it up so much when we caught a glimpse of them in 3Below but in Wizards they just show up and... Jim’s in a crystal and Blinky’s all fucked up and despite the former being a major plot point we get almost no information on how either of them got into this state? Where are the other trolls? Wasn’t Merlin with them? You could argue that he pulled some wizard shit to get back to Arcadia but that whole chunk of time is never addressed! Why even have it?

- Man I know y’all hate Merlin but he was a really compelling asshole and this season was just so reductive for his whole character. He was much more interesting when he was a gross creep who didn’t give a fuck about anyone. The forced father/son relationship they tried to establish between him and Douxie felt so weird

- I thought they were going to tie together literally any of the plot points of 3Below but outside of Krel showing up for about two sentences it’s never addressed. 3Below ended with the acknowledgement that Trolls and Aliens have some history, and somehow Seklos and Gaylen are involved in a much bigger picture, I can only hope that the movie ties it in somehow.

- I thought Morgana creating the first changelings was going to be a much bigger deal, I was surprised by how anticlimactic it was. The creature design was super dope though, that fight was so fun to watch.

[anextraordinarymuse]

Hi ...it’s me again, with another WCTH meta

And since I am incapable of making these short and to the point, buckle up and thank you in advance if you stay for the whole rambling thing. This one deals with 8x05 (obviously). Let’s gooooo!

I loved seeing Nathan tease Bill about his uniform. It’s a great moment of levity in an otherwise serious set of storylines for Nathan so far, and I am so glad they included it. ALSO though, I appreciate that this is a side of Nathan that we get to see here and there because it ties right in to Allie’s assertion that Nathan was a lot more fun before the events that took place at Fort Clay. They’re establishing that even though we don’t always see them (or it might take some time to come out) there are these really fun and playful sides to Nathan’s personality. I love them no matter what, but I really appreciate them for how special these moments feel. And I feel like Nathan has kind of an understated humor rather than an outright goofy, in your face humor (unless kids are involved, in which case he’s just outright silly with his funny faces and dad jokes).

I have mixed feelings about the scene with Elizabeth and Lucas on the bridge. I like that they showed Lucas’s considerate side by having him choose not to attend the graduation ceremony in order to not make it uncomfortable for Nathan (and I hope they become friends eventually because they have a funny dynamic); I didn’t like that it felt like they were showing Lucas’s considerate side at the expense of Elizabeth’s. Having her play it like she didn’t even consider that it might be uncomfortable for Nathan felt disingenuous. Elizabeth has always been a thoughtful and considerate character and she has said many times that she doesn’t want to hurt Nathan or Lucas. To have her suddenly blind to the fact that having Lucas there would make it difficult for Nathan just felt wrong - especially after the scene they gave us with Nathan riding by on the horse. It made Elizabeth seem inconsiderate - which leads me into the next bullet point

They have really humanized Elizabeth this season. Is it comfortable? No. Is it my favorite? Not exactly. BUT it is good storytelling. In previous seasons Elizabeth has always been a little hard to relate to because she can come across as sanctimonious and too perfect. She’s always thoughtful, and chastises people for their mistakes but also super quick to face and fix her own. And that’s just not realistic. This season, we get to see an Elizabeth that is clearly doing things we may not agree with, and being selfish, and not realizing she’s making mistakes - or realizing it and making them anyway. When she rides away from Nathan after he tells her he loves her that’s clearly a moment of giving in to cowardice. Not only does she literally run away, we then see and learn that she’s just been flat out avoiding Nathan. (Note that I am not ragging on her character here or how she chose to handle it. Whether you want her with Lucas or Nathan, that was a moment of cowardice. She straight up runs away from her problems/an uncomfortable situation and then just ... pretends it’ll go away if she doesn’t address it). Elizabeth is also being rigid, selfish, and what sometimes feels like mean. These are normal things - everyone is like this in some way, at some time or another. Elizabeth has dismissed Nathan’s love almost out of hand simply because of his profession (and because she’s terrified); she chastises Nathan for being jealous of her being with Lucas when Nathan himself won’t just ask her out, but when he does she hesitates and then backs out ON THE WAY TO DINNER and still asks Nathan and Allie to walk her home (I am not lying when I say that this is probably the only scene in the entire show that I absolutely despise and I will not watch it); she has apparently forgotten that she doesn’t want to hurt Nathan and shows little consideration for his comfort. Now, I don’t hate Elizabeth for these things, I’m just noting that this is what we’re seeing. This is also one of the main reasons that I consider her relationship with Lucas to be an act of selfishness. She even mentioned in 8x05 that when she’s with Lucas there’s nothing weighing on her - she doesn’t have to grade papers, or be a mom first, or deal with the very real trauma and fear that come with loving Nathan. Lucas and their relationship is an escape for Elizabeth, and we’re all a little escapist at times.

On this point, I have mixed feelings: Nathan and Elizabeth’s scene in her house. There’s a lot going on here, and I have questions. When did Elizabeth leave a note for Nathan? Was it during the day and he didn’t get it until later because he and Allie were out all day? Was it in the evening, or after her date with Lucas? Because there’s a lot to unpack there if the answer is anything except she left it during the day and he didn’t get it until later. That conversation could have waited until they were on neutral ground, in the daylight. Instead, it happens in a very intimate setting. It’s night time and the lights are turned down low (and Nathan Grant looks like a whole ass snack with his unbuttoned shirt and rolled up sleeves and forget Elizabeth, that man is MINE) and everything about this scene is personal. There’s a clear undercurrent of unease and awkwardness between them and they’re clearly not on the same page, but there is a vulnerability to them and this scene that is hard to miss. Also, this scene is lit very warmly: lots of yellow and gold tones in the lighting which is mostly provided by low lamps and candles, and soft shadows. Again, it’s intimate and personal. But the real takeaway from this scene for me is the caliber of Nathan’s character. The fact that the woman he loves has just chastised him for basically doing the same thing she’s doing and not facing his problems, and then bringing up Fort Clay again, and he not only accepts that with grace but then owns up to the hurt his actions have caused with real humility and chagrin ... seriously, I’m in love with him. And I think that it’s clear that in this moment, Nathan is showing that not only is he a stellar role model for Allie, but also Elizabeth. Whether she wants it to be or not, whether she wants to admit it or not, I think Nathan is the measure of the quality that Elizabeth is looking for in a partner as well. I think that will have a hand in the undoing of Lucas and Elizabeth’s relationship. 

The dinner date with Lucas and Elizabeth is also interesting. It feels very different from her scenes with Nathan. There is little vulnerability there. They’re shy and a little nervous with each other, which is natural for a new relationship, but there’s not a lot of depth. The whole date is very romantic and reminiscent of Jack’s grand gestures - all of the candles and the fancy dinner (which we’ve seen is typical of Lucas) - but it’s almost the exact opposite of the scene she shares with Nathan. The lighting is colder, the shadows are sharper, and even their clothes are flashy. The whole thing feels very formal and easy, and their conversations are only surface deep. 

The way that Elizabeth looks at Nathan after he walks away from the graduation ceremony ... no it’s cool, she’s fine, I’m fine, we’re fine

This isn’t necessarily an observation from this episode, but more a general observation from the last few and what we know of the next few: I don’t think Elizabeth knows what she wants, or is ready for what’s happening. I think things will end with Lucas and she’ll spend a few episodes alone and trying to figure things out. My guess is that the kiss that’s teased in 8x06 won’t happen, but it will scare Elizabeth or make her realize that she’s not ready/confused/not all in. We’ll go back to the status quo - awkwardness between Elizabeth and both Nathan and Lucas as they all try to navigate each other and the situation - and then Elizabeth realizing what she wants and gathering her courage in the last three or four episodes

That’s all for now (until I realize I forgot to add things)! Overall it wasn’t my favorite episode, but it wasn’t the worst. It had great moments between other characters, some of which made me actually giggle. I am tired of this triangle, but I’m still convinced Nathan is endgame. 

[americangodstalk]

People are getting confused over my vague reactions so, some thoughts about episode 4 under the cut

... Again, what was that? I was thrown right back in the worst episodes of season 2 where I felt I wasn’t watching an adaptation of American Gods but something else entirely.

One part of the episode is... simply not American Gods with nothing from the book in it. Another part of the episode feels like a badly written fanfic. 

I will not lie, I am getting quite bored of Bilquis’ storyline. It is dragging on too much, and it just pulls the story in a direction that goes too far away from the book for me. Maybe it will pay off, but honestly I did not became a fan of the show to see Bilquis become a major character when she was just a two-scenes character in the novel. 

I hope that the Demeter’s subplot will not become something that takes up Wednesday’s entire screen time in this season. If Wednesday spends the entireity of season 3 trying to obtain Demeter’s help, I will honestly be pissed off - unless there is an excellent pay-off. 

So... Laura is ALIVE now? What the... Her being an undead was one of the key characteristics of her original character. Again, they are hyper-exploiting her character. They should slow down on that.

For the Orishas, I currently cannot say anything because I don’t know where they want to go... on one side I picked up that they acted the very opposite of Anansi, preaching solidarity and help and unity where Mr. Nancy preached anger, violence and rebellion. That was pretty clear. But on the other side - why would Oshun go help Bilquis? What do they have to do with Bilquis storyline? Weren’t the Orishas sold as part of Shadow’s story? 

My biggest concern with this episode however was that... it felt really like a parody sometimes. I hope they were trying to be funny and simply failed to recognize it was mishandled, because else it means they included funny stuff without realizing it, and... it would be very sad. But I mean... You can’t play Tech Boy’s PTSD-like troubles seriously but then use it as jokes. They use him and his new persona as if he was still the character from the book, a relatively not-so-powerful New God with limited control over technology - when previous seasons established that he was one of the main New Gods and the embodiment of technology as a whole... The same goes with Bilquis - when she forgets her true name and Oshun comes to her, it is a serious, powerful scene, but then they make a joke about it when she appears simply crazy to the guards... There’s a serious unbalance in tone here. 

And again - they are straying away from the book. What has the disparition of a crooked CEO anything to do with American Gods? That’s just... I don’t know what it is.

Anyway, two good episodes that put faith back in me, two episodes I did not really liked that took back this faith. I’m back to square one. 

[acephysicskarkat]

Redemption, Forgiveness and She-Ra S5

So just to spite the anon who told me to stop posting my opinions, I’m gonna post another opinion!

This will contain spoilers for SPOP, Avatar: the Last Airbender, The Good Place, and Steven Universe.

So the most common take that I’ve heard about S5 from Catra stans is that it’s a story about redemption and forgiveness and that if I’m in any way critical of it then I’m saying abusers can never redeem themselves.

To which I say: the second part is a strawman argument, and the first part doesn’t help because it’s a bad story about redemption and forgiveness.

Part 1: Redemption

The problem with S5′s stories about redemption is that they are, universally, undercooked.  For things that the fanbase had been wanting for months, they’re surprisingly lacking in meaningful impact.

Catra’s is the least bad, because Catra is at least on-screen long enough to tell us that it seems to be sticking, but it’s still not good.  It’s rushed, it’s weightless, and it feels like they didn’t even check what she’d done in the past three seasons that she would need to find redemption for.

At no point does she meaningfully confront her actions (which, in case you’ve forgotten, ranged from bringing about the death of Queen Angella (S3E6), to repeated attempts to murder or permanently harm Adora (S1E11, S1E13, S2E5, S3E4-6, S4E3), to bullying Scorpia (present throughout but most obvious in S4E6), to taking part in a war crime (S4E8)), nor does she really confront the jealousy and spite that drove them.  Indeed, the episodes that could have been spent showing us her character development are spent showing us that she still has a very unhealthy attitude towards Adora (S5E6) and telling us that she underwent her character development offscreen, while we were distracted by Double Trouble (S5E8).

Hordak’s is even worse, because Catra at least admits she wronged people, even if the focus is put almost entirely on Catra feeling bad about it.  Hordak realises, accurately, that being made into a cog in a machine of conquest is bad (S5E13)...but he never makes the leap onscreen to it still being bad when he did it to other people, as he did to Adora and the other Horde kids (S2E7).  It treats Hordak’s decision to break free of Horde Prime as if it in and of itself makes him good, overlooking that the life he’s trying to go back to was the one where he ruled over an empire of stolen children.

I don’t even want to get into Shadow Weaver.

AtLA gave a compelling redemption arc to Zuko by having him confront the consequences of his actions.  SU gave a compelling redemption arc to Peridot by showing us, in great detail, her evolution from antagonist to ally.  SPOP just kinda tells us that characters are good now and expects that to work out okay.

And the really depressing thing is that both these characters actually could have sustained really compelling redemption arcs!  I would have loved to see Hordak meaningfully realise onscreen that the universe does not consist of him, Horde Prime, Imp, Entrapta, and a bunch of largely interchangeable pawns for him to treat as he sees fit.  I would have loved to see Catra wrestle with and overcome her resentment of Adora, maybe come to understand that being Shadow Weaver’s favourite fucking sucked actually.  The show just didn’t bother, and so what we got was on par with a bad fanfic or the backstory for a D&D character.

Part 2: Forgiveness

For my money, one of the best stories about forgiveness in modern media is in a third season episode of The Good Place called “A Fractured Inheritance”.

Explaining it with as few spoilers as possible, protagonist Eleanor Shellstrop discovers that her cartoonishly neglectful mother Donna faked her death and seems to have built a new life where she’s a good stepmother to a child.  Eleanor spends most of the episode convinced that her mother is running a scam, but eventually concludes that this does appear to be sticking and gives up her plan to reveal Donna’s secret, cautioning her not to go back to how she used to be.  At the end, she opens up to a friend about the trauma she sustained as a result of her upbringing.

SPOP could never.

"A Fractured Inheritance” tells a more compelling story about forgiveness in 15 minutes of screentime than she-Ra S5 managed in four and a half hours because The Good Place cares about Eleanor’s trauma.  It’s portrayed as pretty understandable that she has a grudge against her mother, and working through that takes time and sustained proof that Donna has changed.  More than that, forgiveness isn’t portrayed as a magical button that instantly solves Eleanor’s issues; just because she’s letting go of her anger towards Donna doesn’t mean that the harm she suffered as a result of Donna’s neglect goes away.  Her fear of opening up or being vulnerable, stemming from a childhood of constantly being shat on when she did, is still there, even after reconciling with her mother.

Contrast this to She-Ra S5.  The second Catra says she’s sorry, Adora is willing to forgive her and go across the universe to help her (S5E3), even though in their last interaction, back in S4E3, Adora actively tried to kill her for pretty darn compelling reasons (you may remember those reasons from S3E4-6).  Adora gets, like, a brief rant in S5E4 where she seems to be confused about this, but there’s never a point where she meaningfully seems to process the trauma she’s suffered as a result of Catra’s treatment of her, which we know has been toxic, controlling and unhealthy since they were kids (S5E3).

More than that, there’s never really a point where any of the people Catra victimised in the first four seasons gets to deal with that.  Glimmer seemingly never realises that Catra is why her mother is dead (S3E6), which is especially jarring given that the effects of Angella’s death on Glimmer drove the entire previous season; Entrapta barely remembers that Catra betrayed her and sent her to her presumed death (S5E6); Bow thinks someone who’s done nothing but attempt to hurt his friends for as long as he’s known her is adorable (S5E8); Scorpia forgives her before she even finishes saying sorry (S5E13); and both Frosta decking her in S5E9 and Perfuma’s understandable irritation with the woman who bullied her GF in S5E10 are portrayed almost as jokes, the latter never escalating beyond mild rudeness.

This also extends to Hordak, who, after his tissue-thin face turn in S5E13, gets a baffling montage that tries to portray his picking up an abandoned child and indifferently turning her over to an abusive sorceress (S2E7) as somehow heartwarming and a big bonding moment, and then the notion that Mermista might have some grudges against the guy who burned down her home and displaced her people (S5E7-8) is framed as comic.

I’m not even saying that neither of these characters should never be forgiven by anyone!  Just that the forgiveness they get in the show is lacking in dramatic weight, because the actions that are being forgiven don’t feel like they mean anything.  Catra has hurt Adora, Glimmer, Entrapta, Scorpia, Mermista and countless unnamed innocents, and it’s all treated like it has the same impact as borrowing Adora’s Xena DVDs and forgetting to give them back.  Hordak should be considered Etheria’s greatest monster given the number of people who’ve died as a result of his actions and maybe one person is slightly irritated at the prospect of having to send him a Christmas card this year.

(This is without getting into the fact that Glimmer and Entrapta are expected to deal with the consequences of their actions to some degree, with each getting an episode focused around that (S2E2, S2E4).  It’s kind of wild that Glimmer nearly destroying the world because she took a reckless risk in a desperate gamble to try and save the people she cares about from the Horde blitzkrieg, a gambit that she immediately tried to fix when she realised she’d fucked up (S4E10-13) is treated as something that causes a notable rift in her friendships, but Catra nearly destroying the world because she was just that jealous of Adora (S3E3-6) is breezed past with an “I’m sorry.”  Entrapta building the robots causes the Alliance to hold grudges; Hordak waging 25 years of warfare is [shrug] Just Horde Clone Things.)

3. Salvaging These Plot Points

Now, as I implied above, the notion that I think these characters are irredeemable is a bullshit strawman, a thought-terminating cliche that Catra stans use to dismiss criticism without processing with it.  So how would I go about it?

Catra

I would start by having Catra and Glimmer be in the same escape.  Having her attempt to sacrifice herself in S5E3 had some weird thematic issues given her previously established self-destructive streak (S2E5, most of S3).  If we have to keep the bad plot point where Adora recovers the friend who loves and cares for her and immediately goes “well, we gotta leave our friends back home to deal with a colonial invasion while we charge across the universe to save my abusive stalker ex who’s never respected my personhood or autonomy”, I’d probably look at the two biggest missed opportunities in the season: S5E6 and S5E8.

S5E6 is terrible, and should just be expunged mercilessly with fire for its baffling endorsement of the sentiment “yes i abused u but now u hate me so i’m the victim really”.  Its replacement should probably be focused around Adora genuinely processing the harm she’s sustained as a result of Catra’s treatment of her, probably deciding at the end that she’ll accept Catra’s help but is still understandably suspicious of her given the established mistrust (S1E8) and hostility (S4E3).

S5E8 is easy to fix, though; instead of it mostly being the characters bumbling around a haunted house, I’d make the setting actually do stuff for the characters��� arcs.  We already know that First One ruins can bring up memories, so I’d turn it into a reversal of S1E11 where Adora and Catra’s friendship can actually be rebuilt, probably culminating in Catra saving Adora from falling off a cliff as a symbolic rejection of the resentment she would have been struggling with throughout the episode.  This is probably where Adora starts to actually believe that Catra has become a better person.

Basically, the goal here is to show the audience that Catra is working to overcome her issues and become a better person, instead of telling us that it happened offscreen.

Hordak

The problem with Hordak’s face turn is that at no point in the show, including after we’re supposed to treat him as Good Now, does he seem to give a shit about anyone not on a list that contains maybe 4-5 names.  I’d probably put in some scenes earlier where his experiences seem to be actually changing him for the better: maybe his response to Entrapta asking him to spare Catra isn’t to commute her sentence to a suicide mission, or he feels a sudden sympathy with a captive Etherian after the fall of Salineas, as the shared feelings of loss line up, and orders their release.  Basically, the idea is to put in some groundwork so that it actually feels like he might be safe to have around, instead of him betraying his tyrannical overlord because he misses his life where he was, himself, a tyrannical overlord.

I also would not play the idea that people might be a little bit suspicious of a man with a 25-year history of ruthless oppression, colonial violence and unprovoked warmongering as a joke.  Just one of those personal quirks.

4. Summary

In conclusion:

S5 is a bad story about redemption because it doesn’t give the characters being redeemed engaging or compelling redemption arcs, favouring a blind rush to the ending, and it’s a bad story about forgiveness because it treats the actions that are being forgiven as though they don’t mean anything, even when episodes or entire seasons have been built on the effects of those actions.  It’s not that these ideas are bad in general, that these characters axiomatically couldn’t be redeemed or that forgiveness is problematic; it’s just that the execution is bad.

Anyway, thanks, jackass anon, for inspiring me to set down my thoughts in detail like this!

[jiminrings]

cabin pressure

pairing: taehyung x y/n

glimpse: pilot!y/n who accidentally became famous bc of a viral post about her, best friend!jimin!, taehyung having a shy lil crush on you aND ot7 being meanies for a tad bit :((

wordcount: 17k

notes: this is my first bts fic im gonna post and for sentimentality’s sake, im paying homage to the bullet-point format™️ because this is the same thing i use for my reviewers and it’s v effective in making me focus and not lose interest!!! 

╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

jimin really misses you :((

you’re his longtime friend!! someone who’s stuck with him even before he was famous!!

unlike tHose who suddenly appeared claiming that “aHHHHH jimin from bts aha actually we were friends even tho i have never spoke to him once hE’s actually asking me out and-“

and he loves u to death even the both of you fond each other annoying at times

like that one time he pretended he was sick with a bug just to get u out of your very important meeting just bECAUSE he wanted u to cook up a meal he missed

“hey why are u crying and also can you pls still cook why you’re crying”

“jimin i fucking hate you”

:((

and needless to say he really made up for it because he may have screwed up your job bc he wanted you to drop EVERYTHING to cook cheesy tonkatsu for him

so yes he really went up and above just to get you to forgive him

and u know what

jimin misses his best friend so much that he’s thinking of you in the middle of a meeting

and literally at the mention of bon voyage, the gears in his head start spinning!!!!

basically his thought process was:

bon voyage = abroad = y/n = oH DAMN OH RIGHT Y/N’S A PILOT = airplane whoosh = abroad = BON VOYAGE!!!!

“PD-nim!!!!!!”

“what”

and he’s really gonna make a leap for this because it’s given that him and the boys ride in private jets and first-class and all

literally everyone is looking at him now because his previous outburst of a call was surely attention-grabbing and it makes him shrink a bit because aha :D oops lol okay so what i was saying

“i-i was thinking uhm like since, abroad, right?? my friend y/n y/l/n is a pilot!! and the airline she-...”

“you know y/n y/l/n??” bang si-hyuk literally asks with his eyes wide and everyone could tell that it was the positive type of shock

wait

what

everyone in the room is like divided with some nodding and some clapping excitedly and some just with their mouths agape

and that confuses jimin because

“you know y/n??”

bang si-hyuk, ceo of big hit entertainment, his boss,,,, knows you, his childhood best friend-

and it’s not like jimin is territorial when it comes to his best friends and most esp you!!!! but yeah he realizes that he is now, especially because everyone in the room apparently knows you??? and he’s only ever introduced you to the boys???? briefly?? hope and jin have yet to meet you in person???

“how could we not?” jungkook interjects with a bunny smile on his face and everything is seriously confusing jimin rn because honestly

“do you like live under a rock” yoongi has the most confused face ever to jimin’s cluelessness, the situation being ironic because normally the hyung is slower when it comes to these type of things

“y/n went viral all over the news like last week!! up to now even” it’s no joke that namjoon knows everyone that his members know but for jimin to hear joon speak about you in THIS degree offends him

because wait he’s your closest friend he should know these things

he’d like u to know that he isn’t bitter :)

and his eyes go wide at that because oH GOD WHAT DID YOU DO

everyone agrees to what namjoon said, still a bit dumb-founded as taehyung practically yanks jimin’s chair to sit closer near his and almost shoves his phone to his face

it’s you

in your pilot uniform with your luggage at tow

sunglasses at the top of your head and phone on-hand

your id still worn around your neck and

oh

jimin basically deduced all of these things with a couple swipes:

a) ok you look ethereal in those pics

b) it was supposed to be a stolen picture of this dude but you were in the background and you cOMPLETELY stole the show

c) someone zoomed in on you and edited so now basically your ethereal being got even more magnified

d) someone zoomed in on your id (he got a lil bit mad at that)

e) aha the internet loves you

f) edits and i have thirty minutes i am free this saturday retweets and digging into your images in social media EVERYTHING!!! the whole nine yards!!!!

when you woke up to that frenzy though

you literally couldn’t function for five minutes and then you started catching up and digging in on what was happening

“but i don’t look ethereal!! my skin is dry n oily at the SAME time because of cabin air and my eyes are stinging!!! i look ghastly and only a little bit fresh because of the air u get when you’re 50,000 feet up in the air!! but im-...”

oh that’s it you went viral completely on accident

you were just waiting for the free service back home your airline offers it pilots, because you brought your car to work but you were too tired to drive back home

but now you are viral in the worldwide interwebs with articles and twitter threads about you and multiple multiple DMs that make your phone freeze and

wait did your airline just email you about that :D

oh lol did beyoncé just follow you :D

basically jimin got his brothers giving him a three-minute crash course each about what happened with their managers even stepping in to gush

he basically can’t believe that he didn’t know that!! even if you didn’t mention it to him, he should’ve known because it was practically everywhere!!!!

bang si-hyuk is well-pleased and even got jimin to tell how he knew you and what you were like and he was very much :O when he got into the word that aish!!! his employee has really been living under a rock lmao

by then, the conversation about bon voyage has been slightly derailed to talk about you

who knew that jimin simply mentioning your name (lol he didn’t need to because the conversation about you was nearing anyway) would land the meeting to

“oh! actually! the airline y/n works at reached a couple of weeks ago about a proposal to get bts to star in a commercial for them!!”

and now they’re hyped because yes they endorsed clothes and food and malls and establishments but never did they endorse an AIRLINE!!! a damn airline!!!!

okay so now not only did they tackle that you would pilot for them in bon voyage

“ah! you could like also play games on the way there with y/n!!”

“wHO WILL PILOT THE PLANE THEN??? we’re gonna crash!!!”

“you’re thick, jungkook, and not in the way you think so lmao”

“maybe we could extend their vacation! shoot a skit or two with them being flight attendants for run!! one week for shooting, two weeks for resting!! two birds with one stone, really”

an airline commercial

a couple run bts! episodes

a whole season of bon voyage (with a longer production because they have longer vacation days)

more traction for them

more time than he ever wished for to be with you!! :D

soon enough the meeting is finished and it went so good that the boys were gonna be treated to a beef dinner so

everyone’s scattered and dispersed, some making small talk w him about you that makes him smile

taehyung’s lingering behind him with his hands on his back

“what is it, tae?”

the younger boy is just giggling and fiddling with his hands, a careless shrug to his shoulders

“can i have y/n’s number :D”

...

...

“aish!! if jungkook were to ask for her number, you would’ve given it to him in a heartbeat because he’s the youngest!! and-...”

“ya!! thanks for reminding hyung! jimin-hyung may i also pls have y/n’s number :D”

...

...

...

jin had to drag jimin with him bc he wasn’t done shooting the both of them glares and his cheeks were practically pink with how annoyed he was at the younger two

needless to say taehyung and jungkook didn’t have any extra portions of beef from him

he is very protective of you and even if he’s become closer with his brothers more than he’s been close with you he jUST can’t help it!!

not that he doesn’t trust them or anything

not that he doesn’t trust you either

but he doesn’t want figurative blood on his figurative ledger because he feels that it would be his responsibility if ever yOu and someone became a thing and HE was the one who inteoduced you both :(

it’s not just a him thing :( he can’t put it into words but he’s just looking out for both parties!!!

kinda figured out that taehyung may or may not have a shy little crush on you

spoiler alert: it was HUGE

for their entire dinner, every single time your name was brought up, tae instinctively has his ears perk up at the mention

simultaneously he shrinks to his seat and purses his lips and looks around to what’s being said

why are u mentioning y/n’s name?? what is happening??

and taehyung having a serious case of sweater paws doesn’t help him from jimin’s observing gaze

and yes he feels a bit sorry because taehyung kinda looks a bit upset; that little “oh :((“ on his face when jimin snapped at him so quick

he’s not gonna force him to tho,, out of respect since someone else is involved (and in this case it’s you and your number)

jimin nudges him by the shoulder to get his attention

everyone’s passed out at this point because the beef was so damn good

tae kinda looks spaced out so he turns his head immediately and he forgot for a second that he was supposed to be cold with jimin

“what?”

“..... do you still want y/n’s number?”

taehyung almost fALLS out of his chair as he nods eagerly, making jimin shake his head to himself as he hesistantly takes out his phone from his pocket

oh god jimin’s phone is on his hand now oh god that’s your picture oh god that’s your number oH-

“i’m not gonna text her tonight if that’s you’re worried about?? i mean we barely know each other!! consider me asking for her number to be used for future references only :D”

“what does future references even mean?”

...

“... luggage. i want y/n’s luggage bag.”

...

“i also want y/n’s-...”

“BUTT OUT JUNGKOOK!! BUTT !! OUT !!”

when you open up your company’s email to you, you really can’t help but to feel nervous

today was your off-day and they specifically requested that you come to the main office at 10 AM sharp

and in your off-day, you aren’t even awake at that time of the morning!!

it wss both a blessing and a curse that you slept early the night before so your body clock just went “lol u wake up early today get up at 6”

and not to mention the fact that it was the same day you learned that you went viral last night when you were peacefully asleep

so the last few hours have been WILD and it kinda put you into shock

the closest you’ve ever been to fame was having your pictures leaked with jimin when you were still kids!!

if you were lucky enough, your face would be covered by every possible animal emoji that was ever released

apart from that, it was the occassional mention of your name in stan twitter and that was it

but THIS type of fame is on a whole another level!! higher than being tagged as jimin’s best friend outside of bts!! higher than having your face covered with animal emojis

when you thought that you were gonna be fired over being viral for some reason unbeknownst —

even if you know that you haven’t violated anything and if anything, you were the one who got violated because someone uploaded a picture of you without your consent!!!

so when you learn that they aren’t mad at all and ecstatic in fact

because your airline basically got free publicity and promotion just because you looked so good in pictures that weren’t even intentional

and that there is a more than noticeable spike in the bookings of flights

and that people were cALLING to ask if you would be the one to pilot that flight

AND RIVAL AIRLINES WERE CALLING IN TO ASK WHEN YOUR CONTRACT WOULD EXPIRE

and that said rival airlines were pitching in salaries that competed with your paycheck now aND THAT THEY WERE EVEN higher

needless to say that your day was more than eventful

you don’t know how to cope up with it either so while the meeting drags on to talk about your newfound fame you’re just :O the entire time

“i believe that park jimin from bts is a close friend of yours, correct?”

wAIT what

you shouldn’t be shocked by now because practically everyone’s familiar with him and the rest of the boys

but it still takes you off-guard because as much as he is your friend

and as much you admit that you miss jimin :(

or that you haven’t talked to him as much these past few days

you genuinely don’t see the connection of why jimin would be brought up into this conversation that doesn’t involve him in the first place

there’s a self-pitying realization in between that it seems like your only determining factor these days was to be known as a best friend of a kpop idol and nothing else

:(

that’s a sad topic you’d rather not delve in at the moment

:(

“prior to you being catapulted into fame suddenly — we reached out to their company for them to become our endorsers. a commercial and a billboard and some other things.”

“and this is just the pERFECT timing because you’re famous now and people love you!!!”

this was it

the stars were aligning for you

not only do you get to hang out with jimin, but now you’re launched into much more job opportunities!!

when the meeting concluded, you narrow it down to the conclusions that:

a) you’re most likely to film a commercial and some adverts and perhaps be included in a billboard with them (their company has yet to confirm within the week but your ceo ji-eun is damn sure at this point or else she will flip

b) you’re now getting an agent :D because apparently offers have been waiting for you left and right and they already got you one before you even said “yeah sure i guess???”

c) you’re getting a RAISE

d) sooner or later you’re gonna do this photoshoot so your own company could post about you this time

e) interviews. you’re gonna be asked to chat your heart out intentionally. i n t e r v i e w s

and it’s a humbling moment for sure because it’s like 

oh. you didn’t mean for this to happen but it’s here now and you can make the most of this while it’s still here!! you get to do what you love and be with the people you love and basically get paid for it!!

oh is this what jimin feels like all the time then??

maybe you should apply as the 8th member of bts

it’s during an intentionally cold night in your apartment that your phone basically vibrates itself off the table

right when you were still in the bathroom taking your time because you were getting PR!! and the mask you just put on happens to be something you’ve been curious about but it was too expensive for you to be curious about lol

also: curiosity that leads you to buy either new skincare products or makeup are either a godsend or a godforsaken situation because 6 out of 10 times you do that, you breakout!!! 

the sound of something clattering to the ground immediately makes you scramble towards your living room, phone flipped over to see jimin up close, eyes even in a picture enough to intimidate you for not answering immediately

“Y/N!!!”

“JIMIN!!!”

the both of you put each other on speaker mode because while you didn’t want to risk ruining your mask, the rest of the boys wanna listen in

the entire phone call was so intense because even in speaker mode you were still yelling at each other

and it was spent with so much enthusiasm on trying to catch up with the past days and jimin apologizing profusely because he’s been living under a rock

“i can’t believe it!! I CAN FINALLY RIDE IN ON A FLIGHT YOU’RE GONNA PILOT”

what

wait

“... jimin what do you mean”

because as far as you knew, the airline commercial would be done with a green screen to ensure that it’s of the best quality

not a gopro type of thing because ur flight attendants would yell real-time to the camera crew and the boys when they try to do something and the seatbelt sign is still on!!!

“wait jimin i think y/n wasn’t supposed to know that yet”

you hear a voice in the background and it’s very much familiar and it’s now hitting you that there’s an audience for your entire call

“namjoon, is that you???”

“Y/N IT’S ME!!! NAMJOON!! OMG”

and then you hear this scuffle over the line and a very slight commotion

it’s jimin holding his phone away with his arm and the other fending off namjoon while hobi scrambles to steal it back

jin is helplessly saying hello to you in the background while jungkook is hopping around going all “miss y/n i am a fan of you!!!”

taehyung is going all sweater paws again while yoongi is desperately trying to shut them up because he’s still listening into yours and jimin’s conversation and he’s genuinely engrossed ok

and now everyone’s calm and collected especially since jimin gives them a death glare each and nobody admits but angry jimin scares the shit out of them

he’s back to being soft-spoken now because he realizes that he may have slipped in saying information he probably shouldn’t have yet, a sheepish scratch at the back of his head

“uhm well you see you’re gonna fly us over for bon voyage and uhm kinda stick around for some pieces here and there?? uhm that’s from what i know hehe”

right now you’re just blanking out and staring into the distance and you’ve suddenly gone awfully quiet

yoongi’s on the background like “yo i think you just broke her”

“is y/n’s cell broken? i’m gonna get her a new one”

“is she okay?? wHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENED TO HER???”

“jimin-hyung you said y/n sometimes forgets to lock her door right??”

it’s once again another frenzy and once you realize that you’ve blanked out, you immediately shush them and they miraculously do

it’s a feeling of being overwhelmed and disbelief because this is more than you’ve ever asked for

to think that just last week you were tired and was about to pull off an AWOL because your off-day couldn’t have come nearer

“i certainly didn’t know that”

and there’s a nervous chuckle and a nervous silence that encompasses and for a moment, jimin frowns because he thinks that this is all too much for you and you’re gonna turn down the offer even before it’s gonna be officially pitched to you at a meeting tomorrow (you have yet to know that there’s gonna be another meeting tomorrow)

“oh my god i get to be with the lot of you!!!”

one excited shriek from you and that’s all it takes for hell to break loose

“JIMIN I MISSED YOU SO MUCH I CAN’T WAIT TO WHACK YOUR HEAD AGAIN”

“i can fINALLY meet jin and hope!!”

“where’s namjoon?? this old lady from one of my flights own a stall at the airport and she’s afraid of riding in airplanes! and i was apparently so good and she wasn’t scared and that she waited for me outside the cockpit! she gave me a written note saying that i could come to her stall anytime and the bOOKS I’M GONNA CHOOSE WILL BE FREE OF CHARGE EVERY SINGLE TIME”

“yoongi if you’re hearing this; i heard kyle kuzma’s gonna fly first class next week and i fly that same aircraft do u want me to ask for an autograph”

“we have a boatload of dog treats we give for lil ones we have onboard so they stay behaved!! taehyung can have them for yeontan”

“tell jungkook that he can finally have my walkie-talkie he’s been bugging me about!! i have a new one anyway”

it’s official

they love you

they are practically swooning right now and are mad at jimin because wHY DIDN’T YOU LET US KNOW Y/N SOONER 

they only met you a couple times in the past and hobi and jin are jealous because atleast they got to meet you :((

and all of them are willing to take a splinter for you no doubt 

everyone goes to sleep that night all warm and fuzzy and content

not to mention taehyung being so giddy about what you said

not only did you think of him you also thought about yeontan aNd you haven’t even met the little devil yet!!

and he isn’t the only one who thinks of this but

there’s just something about you that is so warm and so genuine

like you could be as introverted as yoongi and be as much of a team player and and extrovert as taehyung is when needed be

but the point is that there’s always something about you for everyone that makes them gravitated towards you

of course jimin explains this to you and you basically shut him off

“aish don’t put me in a pedestal because i swear that i’m not that special”

“why won’t you believe me??”

“because it isn’t true now eat your cereal jimin i will pinch you thru the screen”

the meeting comes soon enough and you have to pretend that this was your first time hearing this bit of information

the pilot you were helping learn the ropes, hyunjin, will take over your normal workload for the meantime!!

in less than one week’s time, you have to pack your bags for three-ish weeks!! because as from what you can tell, things are gonna be a bit more hectic for you because you’re not only gonna fly planes

for a run episode, the boys are gonna be your flight attendants in a mock flight with the passengers as staff members

but the plane being in the air and them wearing flight attendant uniforms will be very much real

and then another episode to be squeezed in with them trying out flight simulators and quizzed with aviation facts 

and whether u did the best or the worst with the two-part episode

they’re still gonna go skydiving :)

they’re really milking out the sky motif but ok it wasn’t your show anyway and you were just gonna guest so they can go off by all means

after all that work, you’re gonna fly them off again but it’s for bon voyage this time!!

they basically res for two-ish weeks and you can tag along behind the scenes because i mean like you’re flying them home too so might as well

get some clips in between to be used for the commercial

and said commercial would be shot a few days after you all get back from said vacation!!

that’s it narrowed down and as you were taking notes, you can’t help but to feel very excited and nervous at the same time

a few days pass and it’s finally time!! yeah sure run episode but JIMIN AND THE BOYS CAN FINALLY SEE YOU NOW

you were supposed to reunite in the aircraft itself but jimin is an impatient baby which is why he’s called you insistently to say some excuse of “you have to go back to the empty boarding gate u need to meet your camera director”

lol but in truth you really don’t need to and where they are now is what you need to pass to get to said boarding gate

so when jimin sees you by the jet bridge they were all at, he sprints

like actually SPRINTS to get to you 

and he attacks you with a massive bear hug and sprinkles you with noisy cheek kisses

“Y/N *kiss* I *kiss* MISSED *kiss* YOU *kiss* SO *kiss* MUCH *kiss*”

no lie you really did miss him too

and once you get him to calm down because he was crushing your bones and you return his cheek kisses

the boys are all just looking at the scene in front of them with awe

jungkook’s looking at namjoon with his eyes saying “lol imma do that too” and namjoon’s staring back going “NO”

taehyung’s extra pouty right now

he didn’t conisder the fact that maybe you and jimin were an unspoken thing and that his crush on you is now something he shouldn’t hold onto

he got discouraged very quickly

hobi is waddling to you at full-speed and goes for a hug which is wild move for someone who he’s just met (but u don’t mind)

“you’re adorable your uniform is so cute omg”

jin goes in for a hug too and you say something along the lines of “i could see the handsomeness they were talking about” and he goes absolutely rED

he’s laughing uncontrollably like a seal 

namjoon was about to go in for a hug but then he sees your wrist and-

“iS THAT A KAWS WATCH???”

“OH MY GOD YOU NOTICED???”

“HOW COULDN’T I? THAT’S LIKE LIMITED EDITION HOW DID YOU GET IT”

“I HAVE A FRIEND THAT’S A COLLECTOR HE GIFTED IT TO ME I CAN GET YOU CONNECTED TOO”

you are now being wrapped with namjoon’s long arms 

he doesn’t seem to be letting go of you soon

yoongi just has his arms wide and his eyes in a faux irritated manner

“what are you looking at”

and then his gummy smile appears when you just cave into his hug and jin is like??? “aH! y/n’s power is unparalleled”

jungkook immediately goes in for an embrace and even twirls you around

“ooh!! you have more piercings now than the last time i saw you!”

“i can pierce ears now!!”

“jungkook can you really”

“lmao no”

and now that it seems like hugging is the new norm, and taehyung being the last in line for you to greet, that kinda burns your nerves becauseif you were to “admit, you may or may not have a little crush on taehyung ever since the first time jimin introduced the both of you to each other

so you do the sensible thing and don’t think about it

no thoughts head empty head first

“tae!!!”

“aha y/n :D”

you hug him and well

taehyung blanked at that and panicked internally

the stark difference of your enthusiasm and his timid response was cringeworthy and it makes you screw your eyes shut as you hug him

but the moment tae realizes this, he holds on as you were trying to let go of him as qUICK as possible because it was too awkward for you to bear

and a little crushing if you were being honest

taehyung now takes first place for wanting to be reincarnated as a rock in the next life

after yoongi seeing that interaction he was just like ᵒᵒᶠ

before it goes anymore awkward though and tae starts squawking, jimin thankfully whisks you away 

“you look so badass in your uniform will u let me wear it”

“let me wear your hoops and i’ll let u borrow”

“lol forget that i even asked”

no matter what, jimin doesn’t let you borrow his earrings!!

like even if the boys borrow some from him time to time

he absolutely does not let you borrow and when you ask why, he just rolls his eyes and smacks his lips and goes N-O

and then eventually he has to shoo you out because they have to film the intro at the jet bridge and you’re not supposed to be there really

jungkook excitedly squeezes you again and goes “see you later!!”

jeon jungkook knows what he’s doing

so right before the cameras start rolling, he’s just staring at the side of taehyung’s face in close proximity with a teasing smile on his face and then wiggles his eyebrows in the slightest when tae finally returns his stare with a knowing glare

“what was that awhile ago, hyung?”

“one more word out of ur mouth and i’m ratting you out to-...”

“i was just kidding hehe don’t rat me out to namjoon that i accidentally stained his precious table hehe pls”

and he blinks at that and is taken aback

because that was supposed to be an empty threat

and now that jungkook realizes he’s fallen smack-dab into the trap, he now wants to ignite himself

taehyung now has blackmail material :D

jungkook is now held captive by said blackmail material :D

they eventually get done with their intro and into the aircraft itself!! jimin is the one to introduce you and throughout the whole ordeal they’re just hyped-up bc it’s the first time they get to do this type of episode

and they’re doing it with you so that’s a plus

and they get changed into their custom flight attendant attire

snug pink get-up with a silk navy blue scarf tied around as the uniform’s collar 

and golden nameplates engraved with their names on it

and AIR BANGTAN embroidered into the breast pocket!!

they looked absolutely good

your work would be lighter if only they were your actual flight attendants

you’d work every single day

even though they could be tiresome at times bc they could be all over the place

taehyung was admittedly swooning the whole time

the production staff made you alter your speech a bit so you could insert air bangtan and introduce all seven of them individually for the skit

and then everyone’s briefed with what they have to do and how safety should be the no. 1 priority

and then it’s takeoff time!!!!

jimin is really really proud of you

he takes advantage of this as his bragging rights

“aha that’s my best friend who’s flying the plane we are in right now :)”

“lol i love y/n i was best friends with her first :)”

“best take-off ever in your life amirite :)”

“i’m friends with a pilot in case you didn’t know :) no big deal”

“technically that’s captain jimin to you too now :)”

it was a fun and a chaotic episode

a bit unsafe? yes

but then the icing at the top was taehyung swooning at everything you did and cussing at himself every time he remembers how he screwed up earlier

he is the most behaved person in this flight and he wants you to know that :((

yoongi’s mercilessly teasing him

“y/n’s gonna come out to do her landing speech soon; you should pretend reading the safety manual now”

“somebody give taehyung a barf bag and a pen he’s gonna ask for an autograph from y/n”

“ey jimin do they sell y/n’s perfume in this flight?? someone just wants to ask”

the episode wraps soon enough but not without jimin rowding everyone to CLAP FOR THE PILOT WHO ALSO HAPPENS TO BE MY BEST FRIEND AHA EVERYTHING WAS SO SMOOTH SO COMFY QUICK TAKE A PICTURE OF ME N MY PILOT BEST FRIEND :D

and there’s just this innate feeling everyone feels every once in a while

that everything feels so right and so complete

it’s like complete nirvana

and before you know it, bon voyage is already happening

a vacation with seven best friends (jimin insists that he has the superlative best when you’re talking about them as friends) 

(and maybe one of them you don’t see as a best friend and perhaps something more and that person really doesn’t show much enthusiasm for you as you do for him)

(it’s taehyung)

and it’s not like taehyung isn’t fond of you

in fact, he very much is!! believe him!!

it’s just that he’s paralyzed over his crush on you and the fact that he sees you often because of these circumstances and he can’t believe it

too paralyzed over the fact that he might and may have already made a fool out of himself

and that he’s afraid to make moves on you with the boys here because jESUS CHRIST

he knows he would be teased mercilessly or he would be teased mercilessly while they help him out but they would never let him live this down

and jimin

oh god jimin

because as much as jimin loves him, he knows that one wrong move on you and he knows he’s gonna yeet him to the han river

he doesn’t know either what would be jimin’s reaction if he knew of his crush on you!! will he flip? will he be happy? wILL HE FORBID HIM FROM SEEING YOU EVER AGAIN????

at times he could be very overbearing

and he admits that

but all for good cause as he tries to explain

oh and jungkook

damn jungkook

he’s caught on pretty quickly about tae’s crush on you

and kook likes you but not in the way tae likes you

it’s just a fuzzy, warm, and platonic type of like like what the other boys have for you

but with fLIRTINESS

jimin’s the same but it was natural since you’ve been friends for absolutely ages

jungkook’s however was very fresh and very aBRUPT

it’s him trying to get a rise from taehyung and urging him to just make a damn move on you

he hopes that his flirtiness with you would just intimidate his hyung to the point that “open your eyes!!! oh what am i doing?? don’t you feel that i’m trying to steal y/n away from you?? MAKE A MOVE!!” gets across

taehyung has yet to realize that though

bon voyage doesn’t really include you (as you also try to remove yourself out of the picture as much as possible)

the cameras aren’t always turned on and not all hours of the day are spent on filming

so they can still get to do things and activities without staff members flooding the house!!

the house you’re all staying at is a gigantic one

so it got divided into two wings and you can even close it off!!

one wing solely for the boys and the other for you and the production staff

you were at their wing more often than you are in yours though

and during these past few days that turned into weeks, you’ve been closer to them more than you could imagine

they were easy to get around with!! them knowing that jimin knows you is a plus factor if you think about it

and even if not for that fact, they still think not much would’ve changed in your present friendship dynamic right now

it was comforting to be with them, really

the other way around!!

and you could also hang out with them either individually or as a group and it wouldn’t be awkward!!

.. taehyung may or may not be a slight issue though

you honestly think that he hates you :(

and you’re trying to backtrack your actions to see if you may have done something to him

you always try to keep up with his energy

jungkook was fooling around with a drone and trying to experiment flying it

and then he suddenly had this idea of “tae do you think you could outrun my drone”

and kook’s whipping his head around for you as if in a silent question to ask “wait is that possible”

and you’re just over there narrowing your eyes like “jungkook just because i’m a pilot,,,,, it doesn’t mean i know every flying object in the air and how to operate it,,,,,”

...

“but y/n can you outrun my drone tho”

it’s the sudden challenge that takes you aback and makes your eyebrow raise

and then it’s become a cHALLENGE

taehyung’s competitiveness making him forget that you’re even there and that he’s not acting all conscious

so it’s literally all fun and laughter

and the both of you may or may not be so caught up into this stupid challenge you stupidly both participated to

you’re not even sure if there was a rEWARD for this

so stupidly caught up to the point that jungkook’s already led the both of you to the beach that you were overlooking from the house you all stayed at

(jungkook’s running with the drone and that completely destroys the purpose of the drone but he’s having fun too ok)

before you knew it, both you and tae are crashing full-speed into the beach and it takes a collective second for you to realize that you both were indeed wet when you’re hip-deep into the water

and it sends another burst of laughter and you’re just looking at him helplessly and out of breath

“oh my god i didn’t even-...”

it hits taehyung now that he’s having full-on eye contact with you on what the fuck is he doing

he just immediately tenses and all the alarms in his head are going off

‘hahahaha yes :)”

and there it is again

that noticeable shift in the air that makes your mouth dry at what could you have possibly done

he’s quick on walking himself out of the water, quite literally leaving you there

jungkook’s by the shoreline laughing himself to death and sees taehyung waddling himself out

“hYUNG OMG YOU DIDN’T EVEN-...”

ok what was that

what the fuck was that

he only gets a blank laugh in return and it’s a dampener for his mood right now

and it only sinks in now that why is taehyung returning by himself

“y/n did you drown????”

no you didn’t drown

but the idea did seem enticing because you felt so embarrassed and down with what just happened

so right now jungkook just has his arm around your shoulders as he’s trying to figure everything out

“did i -- did i do something wrong?”

and even if the context isn’t clear. he immediately says no

the both of you are just walking back to the house while the sun sets and he still isn’t sure of what happened but he knows that it’s enough to make you sad and most probably has something to do with taehyung

he just wants to cheer you up :(

so mid-way he kinda picks you up wordlessly and you don’t fight him about it

you’re completely drained of your energy both physically and emotionally

you melt into jungkook’s grasp on you as your way of thanks and he acknowledges it with a squeeze on your arm

by the time you get back, everyone’s just doing their own thing because it’s nearing dinner

kook kinda plops you into the couch yoongi’s sitting on

his eyes question that something’s kinda off but he doesn’t question it

and you just crawl the short distance so that you’re laying on his lap and be sad in peace there

all he does it just past your head once and that’s it

and he’s just watching a replay of a basketall game because he hasn’t had time to catch up with those championship games (even if he knows who won and who lost)

and out of the blue yoongi just hears you softly pipe in

“my ex is a professional basketball player”

“wHO’S YOUR EX WHAT KIND OF PROFESSIONAL ARE-...”

and you shush him bc you don’t want anybody else to know

“omg jimin doesn’t know this?? and i’m like the first one to know?”

“yes”

oh and he kinda huddles because after all, this is a secret and it does have something to do with basketball

“professional as in he played in this show you’re watching rn”

“is he in this game????”

“lol no from what i know, he got injured even before championship but yeah his team’s playing right now”

“what’s his name???”

“theo. i call him theo”

and then that name sounds awfully familiar and he’s specifically requesting to see what he looked like and even tries to get hobi to look for your phone

but your pictures with him are all deleted now so you just make yoongi search up his name and he’s like :O

“....... why did you break up then..,,.,”

and then you just gently explain that it was a mutual decision and that both your jobs were demanding

so yeah it was impossible to happen

and yoongi forgot that fifteen minutes ago, jungkook just plopped you here because you wanted to lie down and were too sad to function

and he made you retell what happened to you and your ex that only he knows about

so he feels a little guilty

“you don’t have to speak if you don’t want to :(”

and you just wave him off that catches him off-guard

“nah it’s all okay :)”

man were u selfless

yoongi now loves you more

jin and namjoon finish dinner soon enough and everybody goes down to eat

even taehyung who’s with jimin

and it doesn’t even look like something’s wrong

but jimin’s counting all the heads in the room and was like ‘wAit where’s y/n???”

he sees you getting yourself out from lying in yoongi’s lap and he’s there with you in a heartbeat cooing at you

“y/n baby what happened”

and you’re back to lying down again but this time it’s jimin pushing you to lie on his shoulder as he’s stroking your hair

you said “nothing”, you know...,,., like a liar

jimin throws yoongi a questioning look and the older boy just shrugs his shoulders because he doesn’t know either

taehyung’s abandoned at the edge of the stairs

and you were about to scoff but that obviously doesn’t hurt as much when he abandoned you hip-deep into the water

“mhmmm i see :D”

jimin most definitely knows you’re lying but he doesn’t want to prod into it because it’s obvious that you weren’t in the mood to be questioned

at this point he’s just trying to cheer you up but in the same time give you sustenance

he’s literally feeding you right now

jin cooked up a lot of box mac n’ cheese (he transferred it into actual bowls) from the conveniece store and you know what

he wanted to try it out

it is not the healthiest thing in the world but atleast it’s somehow foreign right???? 

as much as jimin loves you, he does want to eat though

so he asked jungkook to get him a big-ass bowl with a portion big enough for the both of you and he did just that 

but you aren’t that much cooperative because you’re not eating that much and jimin is really really enticed with the smell of the food rn and jungkook senses that

“i’ll feed her, hyung!! go get another spoon for you or something”

he is really thankful for that so he just pushes the bowl to kook and scrambles for a utensil and perhaps even his own bowl

jungkook’s feeding you now and without jimin sending you a questioning glance every two seconds, you’re more cooperative 

taehyung is sitting by the far corner of the couch parallel to yours and he is CLENCHING

and he’s groaning to his mac n’ cheese and namjoon is ??? why are you like this ???

“good. it tastes so good.”

he nods but he’s still sending tae a questioning look

you eventually gained the appetite to eat

but jungkook was in charge of the dishes tonight and he doesn’t want to wash one more spoon so he insisted that you just share one instead

taehyung is gonna COMBUST

he is now practically yelling into his mac n’ cheese

everyone is now ??? at him and he makes a show of just shoving the bits of pasta to his mouth

“jin-hyung :) namhoon-hyung :) this is so delicious :) how did you do this :)”

“...... taehyung that’s instant,,,, boiled water and the cheese powder...,.,”

“aHA so that’s why :)”

his actions are v fishy and v funny 

but deep down he is boiling angry and frustrated both at himself and a jungkook

kook is giggling to the bowl right now that you had to pry it away from him

you’re not even LOOKING at taehyung’s direction

usually you did

but your will to treat him like how he treats you is stronger

that’s it that’s gonna be the rest of the trip

if there’s any personality trait you’re gonna pick up from jimin from having been his friend for so long

it would be the stubbornness

you avoid taehyung like the flu

AND HE NOTICES THAT

AND THE BOYS ARE STARTING TO NOTICE IT TOO

jimin is the one most on-guard about that 

and he is whispering to everyone except taehyung 

“if you see something that relates to y/n and taehyung tell me ok tELL ME!!!”

and even tae feels sad about it to the point that he’s trying to make a conscious effort in making conversation with you

when you’re on the floor with your laptop turned on and they’re surrounding you trying to help you out with your emails

emails that don’t relate to aviation work and more-on to the viral side of things such as designer !!! brands !!! reaching out to you personally instead of your agent!!!

“mhmm they have really good shoes. what’s your favorite color anyway?”

and he says that in the midst of voices overlapping bUt the boys realized that taehyung gave input into the conversation and wAS LIKe wait wait tae’s speaking shut up shut up

but jimin answers for you in a heartbeat and hobi pinches his arm and he was laughing suddenly

he’s looking around trying to say something with eyes

“lol i’m sorry did i ruin his move on y/n”

and his subconscious-

“WAIT WHAT TAEHYUNG IS MAKING MOVES ON Y/N???”

it takes all four of his hyungs to plead him to shut up with their glares and don’t make this anymore awkward as tae wants to be swallowed wholly by the ground

your resolute will doesn’t crumble until jimin makes it his ultimate mission to find a drink that’s gonna sink you

because your alcohol tolerance was brought up again when they were talking about buying drinks

and jimin tells the story of how you outdrank him one night and didn’t wake up with a deadlier hangover than he did aNd he was still curious to how you did it

you don’t know either but you’re as interested as them in finding a drink that’s gonna sink you

hobi’s random pick in the grocery store did JUST that

you finally sunk

you finally got as drunk as jimin’s level

as in a shit-faced type and not just a happy buzz you usually felt

you and jin have been laughing without end for five minutes now

no one even joked

you just made eye contact with each other and you both immediately started to wheeze 

he was starting to get so red he looked borderline pURPLE if you were still seeing clearly

yoongi was laughing by seeing the two of you laugh because it was starting to get contagious at the point 

by now namjoon’s back was being slapped carelessly by yoongi who’s pleased with himself

taehyung has a grin on his face because you were so adorable

as if his cheeks weren’t warm enough just by seeing you so happy and bubbly

and the heat in his chest isn’t just because of the alcohol nor the warmth his sweater provided

maybe this isn’t a little crush anymore :((

while he’s ignoring that possibility, everyone else is considering it

everyone besides you :((

jimin’s on his feet at the moment because oh my god it’s happening!!!

good news because you’re drunk out of your mind

and bad news that you’re drunk out of your mind

so he’s tending to you with a glass of water and you won’t drink it

he’s trying harder this time by putting the glass to your lips but you were flailing around so much by laughing that it spilled some to you and jimin himself

he’s now looking for a straw

this one’s for boba but he has to settle for this now

and he’s trying to coax you into drinking it

hE’S EVEN USING A VOICE HE USES FOR BABIES

“but water tastes like nothing :((”

“which is exactly what you need”

“but i want it to taste like something”

he’s about to groan but then he sees your eyes glossing 

and oh god did he hear a whimper

“y/N BABY DON’T CRY OK OK WHAT DO YOU WANT????”

he’s now looking for an ice cold chocolate drink that isn’t overly sweet

namjoon has made it his personal decision to follow jimin around

and with his twofold clumsiness at this state, yoongi follows him but not without holding on to the back of jooni’s shirt so he could be slid around

jin stands up and follows them but he’s not sure why

“why are you all -- this is NOT a conga line!!!”

hobi’s staring into the distance turned into snoring

taehyung isn’t all that drunk

but you, on the other hand, are very much drunk

tae’s not sure to why you’re approaching him

maybe it’s because the hoodie he’s wearing now is jungkook’s

maybe it’s because jimin’s scent is on his hair from having borrowed his shampoo

maybe it’s because you’re drunk and your first thought is him even if drunk

but all his thoughts fly out the door when you’re squeezing yourself into the couch he’s lying on at the very moment

one that’s too small for the two of you and that he had to grab you split-second because you were about to fall out of the couch so hard if not for his strong grip that holds you

“y/n.”

taehyung’s not sure either to what his tone contained

whether it was for warning or for reprimanding, literally all his thoughts are crushed once again the moment you speak

“you’re voice is very deep.”

he’s not sure if you know this either but you were unconsciously cuddling up to his side, filling in the gap at the couch that just made you barely fit

you’re

cuddling

him

“a-and it’s very calming.”

he’s not sure to why but the moment you put your hand on his chest because you were basically almost lying on top of him

his first instinct was to put his hand on the small of your back

and the moment and the feelings were so warm that fuck this isn’t the alcohol anymore

nor the sweater

so warm to the point that the both of you don’t notice jimin’s :O and everyone else’s :D

because the make-shift conga line has arrived right in front of where you are and hobi just woke up

and right when everything feels surreal 

taehyung watches a split-second decision happen right in your eyes

you just kissed the tip of his nose

:’)

taehyung thinks he’s gonna ascend to heaven

it’s the softest moment ever because you pull away trying to gauge his reaction

he’s all red with his bottom lip in between his teeth and oh my god his eyes are so expressive

jimin steps in tho

and he clears his throat and taehyung iS SUDDENLY BACK TO EARTH

oh my god oh my god that just happened oh my god

this is a bit more scary and intimidating now

because jimin doesn’t look neither thrilled nor angry

he looks neutral

neutral blank-faced on the verge of who knows what jimin is the most frightening jimin

“hey baby here’s your chocolate drink you asked for :)”

and with just a head rub you immediately come to your senses and are already making grabby hands to the cold mug (with a straw!!) and you’re scrambling to stand up and jimin’s helping you to stay stable because you’re attached to him now

taehyung is now looking at his hands as if they were the most entertaining things in the world “wow look at my rings i have never seen them before so shiny so silver”

and he knows jimin can see right through him

jimin has the tiniest hands out of all of them while he has the largest

and u know what

he could be still strangled with those same hands 

and u know what too

maybe he’ll accept that wrath because he kinda deserves it  

he’s sent a brief look that’s enough to let him know that the both of them will talk

that taehyung shouldn’t leave this couch

nor leave this house

nor this country

you know what maybe tae better start timing his record on how long he can go without breathing

he can do that for a minute and a half underwater

soon enough jimin finally tucks you in with not much protest

much force from him tho but much more apologies and coos when he apologizes and you do as asked

got to make u brush your teeth and change into a fresh set of pajamas

he has to trick you into “seokjin would be mad at u when he learns that you went to sleep with dirty clothes on”

and him being the good friend that he is

since he also achieved of getting to sink you with a drink

he’s gonna go the extra mile

went so far as to wipe you with a wet towel and dry you off since you didn’t want to shower and he’s afraid ur probably gonna fall asleep not even midway

he even does your skincare routine for you

you kept giggling when he was patting your face so he did it more but now you were in the verge of tearing because in your drunk state you tHOught he was slapping you over and over again with both palms at the same time

and after all that

jimin finally gets around with taehyung on the couch and the younger boy just immediately straightens his posture

...

“...,.,., so you and y/n.,.”

there are literally no words in his mouth

“aha yes me and y/n :D”

and it’s a habit of tae’s to be incoherent whenever he’s flustered

that kinda doesn’t help his case because jimin needs ALL of his brainpower and coherence

“what are your intentions?”

“uhm i uhm aha :D great pilot. no jet lag.”

he’s nodding even there isn’t something to nod at

god he didn’t even drink much but he feels just as floaty and as spent

“calm down, taehyung.”

he SOBERS at that

jimin even pats at his knee to try and ground him

“y-you’re not mad at me??”

“lol i kinda am to be honest”

:(

“but i’m only mad because you treated her from the start as if you didn’t like her!!”

“but hyung you knOw it’s hard and -- wait was it really obvious??”

“there’s a difference between being shy AND being an insensitive ass that leaves the room whenever she enters!!!”

“but-...”

“and i know that people cope with things differently but your mechanism with your little crush on y/n was just kinda off for her, y’know? like this is the time she genuinely gets to know you and not just a five-second introduction by me!! and it’s just kinda a ballsy move because she just got to know you in this level and you’re acting like an ass and she doesn’t know why!!”

“ok but-...”

“and ok the boys and i aren’t mad that you kept from us because it was pretty obvious but i mEAN like you could have just went to us, ya know?? even if some would give poor advice, it’s the thought that counts!!”

“jimin-...”

“oH also what if y/n fell for jungkook instead of you, huh??? he has balls and he doesn’t even like her in that way!!”

this effectively shuts tae up because he hasn’t really considered that possibility

and it’s a dunk at sobering reality that each one of these days he let pass could have been the moment but it was just him hindering himself

because he is a shy boi for you and the crippling fear of rejection just always paralyzes him

aND NOW THAT TONIGHT HAPPENED!!!

with his nose still tingling and his cheeks still flushed because of that kiss

with somehow permission from jimin

with you in the picture now and everything in place

taehyung really can’t help but pout adorably and cry up tears of happiness a bit

jimin hugs him for that with a pat on his back

they both know though that even without any verbal warning that jimin will give taehyung hell if ever he breaks your heart

tae kinda pales at the realization because it may be a conflict of interest

and jimin would be like

lol :) why would you be afraid of me when you have no intention of hurting her :) 

tae SWEARS he could hear jimin in his head and he was about to reply but he realizes that he’s just a little bit worried and much more overwhelmed

needless to say that things really did do change overnight

you were trashed yet thankful that you remembered most of how the night went including that bit in which you were drunkenly topping and cuddling taehyung then pressing a soft little kiss to the tip of his nose

you could still hear your internal monlogue of “boop :D” when you kissed him

you’re woken up by the boys (yoongi included because it turned out you slept in for much longer) since today was a no-film day and they basically get to do anything in this vacation without it being documented and such

it was just a never-ending warm feeling with tae

throughout the whole day he was just grinning at you and maintaining eye contact and at times when you’re not even doing anything

(he’s glued to your side much to the grumpiness of jimin)

it was a slow burn at most

bumping shoulders and squeezing of wrists 

having his hand casually on the small of your back and around your shoulders

taehyung scrunching his nose SO MUCH

hobi is genuinely concerned

“tae do u have a cold??”

yoongi is fucking relentless

“what? what? what did the good boy smell???”

seokjin keeps pursing his lips intentionally after trying to gain tae’s attention and he = would shrug his shoulders excessively

“i saw that u little punk i SAW that”

namjoon would be on tune with how yoongi just won’t stop

“tie that bandana around your neck instead and sTOP sniffling”

jungkook would roll his eyes and scoff playfully whenever taehyung would glance at him

“do i need to kiss y/n so you’d be jealous enough to do so??”

jimin would be the mediator with all the teases but that doesn’t exactly mean he’s on tae’s side either bc the one time taehyung bragged that jimin was protecting him, he got whacked on the side of the head

“lol no this isn’t for u taehyung,, i’m just doing this because y/n’s cheeks are so hot and they’re burning a hole on my shoulder”

as much as your relationship was slowly but surely blossoming with taehyung

it happened for the boys as well!! even with jimin who you didn’t even think was possible to get closer to

bonding with jin was spontaneity and strict adherance to plans combined

“jin do u know milktpapi on twitter”

“bubble would have been a better name for that puppy”

following twitter recipes that are fast-paced and a little vague became a big hit for the both of you

he went on a watching binge one night and the morning after there were just paper bags on the counter of ingredients upon ingredients that he so sweetly asked the staff to get for him

DC CUPCAKES!!!!!!!

he liked that there has to be some type of drama between those two sisters

jin would just be ranting to you with no end

“they were on CONEy island,,, C O N E ,,,, and she made cupcakes in cONES but they still chose the sister who thought hAMBURGERS,,, in C O N E y island,,,, was a good idea!!!”

another inside game was to guess the personification of inanimate things but to food

“what must sadness taste like”

jin and you and the never-ending bickering between the two of you almost always fills in as white noise

yoongi and you are rather a quite dynamic duo

and as hobi explains that you could just really really catch on with his tempo

like at times they would just catch the two of you lying on the same couch but at the opposite ends with your feet meeting in the middle

awake and in complete silence

jungkook has his eyes squinted

“why are you texting each other????”

and it has him genuinely baffled but he’s just answered with a grumble and he CAN’T tell whether it’s from you or yoongi

just like with jin, there’s also a food approach

“that dumpling kinda looks like namjoon”

“i was JUST about to say that”

it wasn’t a showy type of friendship with yoongi; rather a more silent concern type of thing and the occasional hug

love language with him seems to be the both of you having a drum-off because he has a nervous habit of tapping his fingers

and he’s v thankful because oh :) you’ve just distracted me from that thing i was nervous about :)

also likes snoozing off so whenever you can, you squeeze in a pillow when his neck’s in an awkward position and when he wakes up and realizes he’s just like :) gummy smile :)

hobi is a force to be reckoned with

asking “hey r u ok” out of the blue even if you weren’t particularly sure how the other one felt and sometimes one of your heads would just whip and go “you noticed???? :(”

hanging with him whenever he scrolls at his phone and online shops

the only difference is that he buys what he wants

“you’re telling me that we scrolled for like an hour and you’re not buying any of the things you saw????”

and you just pass it off every time because although a pilot’s wage is above average salary, your future and earning isn’t as sECURED and SOLID as his was

that doesn’t stop him peeking at your cart when you aren’t looking and adding it to his and perhaps checking out :) i mean it’s definitely not from him when you see some parcels in your doorstep by the time you get home :) not from him :)

it’s become a constant thing to link your arms together!!!

even if you’re not necessarily walking, it is essential to link arms with you as he argues

one time jimin tried getting in between your linked arms with hobi bc he wanted to join

hobi IMMEDIATELY glares at him and jimin backed off like sheesh ok but u don’t get to do the things i do with y/n either

writing on each other’s forearms is a thing too

sometimes it’s to conversate when you’re not in the mood to talk verbally

sometimes it’s just about talking shit but don’t tell jin he has his coat on backwards he looks laughable

“can u choreograph something for twinkle twinkle little star”

“y/n i-...”

nAMJOON however feels like he should’ve met you earlier like WAY WAY EARLIER

he gets on with you so well and sometimes he just sulks to jimin

“why didn’t you introduce y/n earlier to me god what was life like before y/n”

brain talk is more prevalent than ever because there are thoughts that delve deep into your mind that sometimes only namjoon could get

noah fence but if you were to rant about this to jimin, he would just drone off and grumble and he’d turn to sleeping because he just can’t help it

movie symbolisms????? count that to him and jungkook

after watching parasite for the nth time, you’re sure all three of you had all bases covered but nO it was somehow bottomless

“isn’t it ironic and somehow oxymoronic that...”

he is eternally grateful for you because one night the boys wanted to have a seafood night and u may or may not have had some recipes sent in your airline gc with how your airplane food was made

(surprisingly it didn’t suck)

and you considered him since he hates it and you know what,, he gets something else cooked for him

god namjoon gets why taehyung is smitten with you

also joonie is a bit oblivious to this fact but the other boys notice that you always bring him back a trinket of some sort

you noticed (and jimin might have pointed out one time) that he tended to fiddle with things and do small tasks whenever he was ticked off or stressed out

you keep note that you should gift him one of those fun kiddie entertainment packs when you’re back to regular programming as a pilot

it’s also a constant thing for you to bury your head to his chest

for no reason at all

it’s really comforting to say the least

he could be preparing breakfast and you’re just trudging down the stairs still not fully awake

“hey. i’m making-...”

boop

“oh ok jus hang there if you want but u might get burnt by the pan but it’s ok it’s ur call”

jimin has become even much more of a precious being

gets in your nerves a bit more often than the last time but it’s normal at this point

head rubs that lull you to sleep are the best :((

taehyung sometimes looks to his hands because jimin got you to sleep instantly and he pouts

“how do you do that?? i wanna do that too pls”

jimin’s voice feels like a warm weighted comforter,, that you gotta admit

“your voice is very velvet-y and it’s unfair because i can’t stay mad at you”

“𝓲 𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀“

you still make an awed face whenever jimin cracks his bones

you’re in the middle of being fond and being disgusted at the sound so it’s still a 50/50 whether you grimace or gasp at him

“can i pls borrow your hoops”

“you could ask a million times and i would still say no”

playing with his rings whenever you’re sad is a habit you would never grow out of

which is why you were attached to him by the hip,,, or rather hands ,,, when taehyung was in the verge of being an ass to you

jungkook is something ELSE

if you aren’t lingering around jimin or taehyung, you would definitely be around him

taehyung is most jealous with the two of you but no he didn’t say that :)

annoying each other is the no. 1 task 

but lately annoying feels like second nature now so it doesn’t seem like tradition anymore

you would be his audience whenever he’s drawing because you’re genuinely enthrilled with him and his work

“how are you so good at this”

you’re almost always trying to copy what he draws

“what were you attempting with this”

“i was attempting your drawing”

“lmao are you sure with that???”

jungkook likes playing with you by pretending that he’s annoyed

but when he sees that u made his art your lockscreen, he was so awed that he was literally about to BAWL

he pretends not to notice when you push your food to his plate because you either aren’t too keen with the dish or you’re just too full

when jimin calls you out for “y/n why are you putting ur food on jungkook’s plate” and jungkook with “and jungkook why are you accepting it”

kook just shrugs and comes to defend you

“nope i didn’t see anything hyung :D”

if you liked shoving your head to namjoon’s chest, you liked leaning on jungkook’s shoulder

seokjin looks most offended 

“not even half of me y/n not even H A L F of me”

this really warms taehyung’s heart

because not only are you close to him but also with his brothers!!

even if he wants to deck jungkook sometimes

and that he may need to work on his jealousy

but none of those things matter because he’s given the assurance that you’re exclusive

that he may be yours and you may be his 

as cheesy as that sounded

taehyung’s working on a plan to properly ask you out once bon voyage ends and not just steal cheek kisses from time to time

or hold your hand and avoid your gaze because he too will surely combust

or hug you from behind tenderly 

much to the teasing and the hoots of the boys

and jimin’s occasional scowls but that’s ok he’s moving on and slowly starting to accept the fact that he can’t be overbearing this much anymore

bon voyage wraps soon enough

and truth be told you didn’t want it to end because you were in such bliss!!

it was a very memorable trip that you now carry close to your heart

and the fact that they still have a commercial to be filmed with you and some billboards to be shot makes you very :D

since the commercial was to be filmed tomorrow and you lived close to the airport, jimin initiated the idea of “hey what about if we just sleep over at y/n’s place??” which was very applauded

taehyung squeals the loudest when the idea was pitched in

“lol no you don’t get to sleep in the same bed as y/n”

namjoon shoots jimin a look that he was being overbearing again

“or you could just let her decide :)”

it’s only been four days since they last saw you but needless to say that it was borderline chaos when they met you at your apartment that was more on the spacious side

“y/n’s uncle kinda owns the building” jimin explains at first because the building did look more lavish than the average complex

“d-do i get to meet y/n’s uncle??” 

taehyung is a bit nervous because he didn’t know that fact obviously and now he’s meeting the family and he is unprepared jesus christ and-

“no he probably won’t like you”

“jimin sTOP making taehyung nervous because he’s gonna start sniffling again”

the lot of them get to your apartment before you because your flight got delayed and therefore jimin just had to whip out his key you gave him as an extra

he does it fast enough before taehyung takes a deep dive to how he doesn’t have an extra key from you or something like that 

jimin does feel like he’s being a bit hard on tae so he lays off of it for now

taehyung has the ultimate heart eyes for you the moment you come home

“i missed you” in the most adorable and heartwarming tone

and there it was again

a cheek kiss and not just a quick peck!!

a tight hug to your waist and a nuzzle against your hairline!!

MUCH WARMTH AND FUZZINESS

once jimin finally got to pry taehyung off of you because he claims that he’s hogging you all to himself, you’re met with very eager hugs and greetings

seokjin and basically everyone else are still in awe seeing you in your uniform so he squeezes in a quick pic in his phone 

you sent him a look and when you peered in, the picture turned out really cool with the nice lighting your apartment had

AND he’s really pushing it that it was good because of the app he downloaded that made pictures have a vintage film cam aesthetic to it

so you yielded and just told him to send the picture to you later 

aha ego boost :D

they insisted on cooking dinner since you did look a bit exhausted from your round of flights even if it was routine at this point (the highlight was when some people recognized you from the pics that went viral and asked to take a pic with you when you were greeting them out!!)

“are you really sure you’re gonna cook dinner, tae? i could always order-...”

“you don’t need to!! i wanna cook for you anyway!!”

that was heartwarming more than usual

jungkook clears his throat

“....,., and us”

“aha yes of course i meant for you and the boys as well :D”

you go to change clothes more than enthusiastically now

because things just seemed to be good with no complications at all

the idea of domesticity with taehyung makes you iMPLODE just by thinking about it

the thought was too soft and too fuzzy that you’ve become energized

maybe reading a couple of emails before taking a shower and cleaning up and getting yourself to look a bit more presentable isn’t a bad thing

it isn’t anything but sheer giddiness when you check your inbox and see an edited version of a run bts ep from a staff member you befriended during bon voyage!!!

you kinda get now what jimin was saying that you had the ability to have people wrapped around your finger

maybe it’s charisma you picked up from wanting to please people just so you could have extra credit???

anyways

it’s a run bts ep you get one of the first dibs on to watch so that’s always a reward

basically the context for it was that it was a hot tub confessions type of thing!! the twist was that they had to speak their heart out (their dislike is very much encouraged) over a certain someone bUT they had to rely on their ~telepathy because names wouldn’t drop

and it was a random selection to who would start the confession first and the others had to go with the flow and basically hope that they’re talking smack about the same person lol

only the name blank would be used and it for the pronoun!!

you were already making assumptions to who it would be about

it could be about jungkook because throughout the whole trip, he would literally gasp out of the blue and take the others in shock like seagulls going WHAT WHAT WHAT IS IT WHAT WHAT

or maybe jimin because he’s a lil shit and would pull chairs and that hobi fell victim and was so annoyed because he fell on his ass so hard 

last prospect was seokjin simply because,, as jungkook emphasized throughout this whole trip,, “ʲᶦⁿ⁻ʰʸᵘⁿᵍ ᶦˢ ˢᵒ ᵒˡᵈ ᵒʰ ᵐʸ ᵍᵒᵈ” just because he complained about his lower back one time

speaking of jin, he gets chosen to open the game!!

and he buffers for a moment that gets another tease from jungkook 

“ᵒʰ ᵐʸ ᵍᵒᵈ ʲᶦⁿ⁻ʰʸᵘⁿᵍ'ˢ ᵐᵉᵐᵒʳʸ ᶦˢⁿ'ᵗ ᵍᵒᵒᵈ ᵃⁿʸᵐᵒʳᵉ ᵍᶦᵛᵉ ʰᶦᵐ ʰᶦˢ ᵐᶦˡᵏ“

“blank bought me an actual film camera!! bit more complicated than taehyung’s!! keeps telling me every five seconds about my settings and i!! i KNOW HOW TO WORK IT THANK U VERY MUCH!!”

although jin is a bit guilty about that because he admits that he has a more-than-sure feeling that most of his pics may or may not be either over-exposed or too dark

this reminds you of that time you bought a film camera for jin on a whim because it was on sale and you were talking about it the night before

lol what a coincidence

hobi takes second call

he is only about a quarter-percent sure to who jin was pertaining to so he trails around for a bit

“blank is like a broken kitchen timer”

he plays it safe with that one 

although there is some sort of edge with his bluntness because everyone might be a little drunk hehe 

“blank looks at things as if it was born yesterday!! literally goes :O”

even goes so far to imitate said expression and it makes everyone gIGGLE

yoongi snorts with that and now he’s a bit more feisty since he’s tipsy

“it joins me in my silence”

wait

“texts me even if i’m in the same room like wtf i can see you”

wait

hold on

“likes hUGGING ME TOO MUCH”

you really didn’t like making things about you because other people doing that makes you tick

but there’s this unsteady feeling in your gut

something that makes you think deep in thought and in doubt

jimin was next to speak so that calms your nerves

he would never, right??

maybe you’re just taking things to heart!! the boys really aren’t talking smack about you, right??

your breath is just held because jimin was surely taking his time in making a show with inhaling so deeply so he could yell a bit more dramatically

“DOES IT NOT HAVE ITS OWN CLOTHES????”

oh

your eyes flicker for a moment to the sweater that’s by your dresser

something of jimin’s that you forgot to return

oh.

“needier and whinier than jungkook”

it was the youngest’s turn to cackle

and at this point you’re only half-listening

you’re a bit too preoccupied with the hurt blooming in your chest

“i!! am!! not!! a!! baby!!”

jungkook’s meltdown makes everyone else laugh because right now he had his fists clenched and his face looking like a baby’s

“blank always wants to be included it’s not funny anymore”

there was just a little bit more hope lingering that this may no be about you at all

but god it was getting too specific 

too specific when it came to namjoon who was a bit more eloquent in speaking and wanting to get his point across

“.... trying to memorize my rap in UGH! .....”

fuck this really is about you

and it’s not just sadness that’s overtaking you

makes you more than deflated than you thought you could ever be

“at this point i sometimes avoid her”

and god there’s this more than familiar laugh that fills your ears through and through

“lol namjoon where do you hide?? i hide in the pantry”

taehyung even?

at this point you can’t even bear watching the video anymore

willing your laptop closed so forcefully that it bOUNCED back open but you can’t even begin to worry that you might have put a crack on the screen

shoving it to your desk with the screen facing anywehere instead of you being the best option

the hurt is painfully fresh and oddly felt so surreal

god were you really that intolerable?

you didn’t know how to cope with what you’ve just heard nor experienced

but the only thing you were sure about is that your situation has just been too good

perhaps this was the complication you were looking for because you weren’t used to things being so good

and you know for sure that this feeling isn’t good at all

and you hated it

at this point you’re just trying to go about your previous plans of showering and cleaning up but the eagerness isn’t there anymore

nor is the eagerness to see the boys

nor is the eagerness to see taehyung

didn’t even notice that you were taking up much time that jimin was at your door knocking, voice gentle and inquiring

“y/n did you fall asleep??”

you’re very much tempted to not go out at all because you lost your appetite for eating too

very much so that you make no move at all and actually think that jimin’s given up on knocking at your locked door

but then your phone rings and he knows for sure that you haven’t gone to sleep because it would’ve been put on silent

“are you hiding???”

you pretty much are and you don’t wanna go out at all

but you basically had no choice to

it was a pressure to wipe at stray tears and say “i’m coming” in an unwavering voice and even more-so pretend that nothing’s wrong at all

or the fact that everyone’s eyes are on you and jimin’s prodding makes everyone else wonder

“are you crying??”

the question doesn’t faze you but it does take you by surprise now that you aren’t comfortable with the situation nor the new attention

taehyung’s getting worried because now he notices the redness in your eyes and the bit of puffiness in your lips

“just sleepy. my eyes tear up when i’m sleepy, right?” you’re using jimin’s knowledge about you against him and he agrees to that almost instantly

can’t help thinking that something was fishy though

you weren’t telling him off when he was bickering to taehyung that he shouldn’t sit next to you for dinner

didn’t react either when tae let off a little victory giggle and grinned when he sat next to you not one bit of acknowledgement when a replay of cake boss was on your tv with jin’s eyes flickering over to you repeatedly but he doesn’t receive an excited glance back

even yoongi found you oddly too quiet and he was tempted to pull out his phone to text you

it’s weirdly off

there’s something missing

namjoon was starting to get worried because you aren’t really engaged in this conversation with a topic he’s direly interested about

“and something done to that degree would just be far too suspicious, right?”

“mhmm yeah”

:(

even jungkook who’s kinda throwing himself at you and you’re just barely responding

he’s wriggling himself to fit by your side and just curl up and when he looks at you expectantly to do something, he just gets a pat on the head

a pat??????

hobi’s being over the top with his reactions right now to try and gauge a reaction from you but to no avail at all

normally he would’ve made you laugh or atleast smile at this point

but there’s nothing

just nothing

taehyung gets you alone on the couch because everyone else was just dispersed at this point and are bumping into each other asking if they knew what happened to you

jimin himself is pressured because he prides himself in being your closest friend aND HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON WITH YOU

tae is a lil bit more confident that he could coax out to why you were acting so differently

even gets far as to hold your hand and nuzzle his face to the crook of your neck

“everything okay, baby?”

god and he’s only called you baby only for a handful of times

“yeah”

that didn’t hurt taehyung’s ego

not at all

or make him overthink to why you’re not all that willing to open up to him nor even look interested in this conversation he’s carrying alone on his back

no not at all

not even when jimin has the most balls out of the group and is the testing point to see how the waters would go

while the night’s coming to an end and everyone’s slowly starting to settle in

“aha so where are we gonna crash anyway?”

you know what he’s trying to get at 

but seeing to it that what you just watched prior to this and perhaps for even a longer period besides that particular episode you don’t even wanna watch

you might as well not give anyone the sense of satisfaction nor pride; even if the question took you by surprise with how bluntly he addressed it

“uhm well the guest room now has two beds since some friends come over from time to time”

“but-”

“yeah the huge couch could fold over as a bed”

“but-”

“i could also-...”

“but y/n you have a king-sized bed!!”

jimin blurts out and almost whines out, a frown evident on his face as you keep your will not to break

“oh. just wanna sleep alone, jimin, yeah? kinda tired because of work today.”

he almost always gets what he wants and this blooming feeling inside him isn’t because of the embarrassment that you didn’t grant his wishes of just plopping beside you on your bed 

it’s because he’s thinking of why not

taehyung tries his best to just swallow the lump in his throat because he may or may not have daydreamed that he’d get to share beds with you

nothing but cuddling in his mind and the tiny bit of friskiness but that’s beside the point

he doesn’t wanna think about how there are no goodnight hugs

the closest thing to it was jungkook receiving a pat on the shoulder

because it happened that his arms were outsretched awkwardly

no cheek kiss for taehyung either

yeah it’s perhaps just fatigue as hobi tried to reason

they don’t know if they’re convincing each other or just themselves

maybe tomorrow would be better :D

...

aha no 

in fact at this point of morning when everyone knows that you’d be awake and it happens to be your off-day before the shoot tomorrow

and that whenever they’re around, you’d rather linger around them than to stay cooped in your room because you would be too sluggish then go back to sleep again

“blank always wants to be included it’s not funny anymore”

yeah you’d rather keep your pride at this point

jimin knocks again and you know you have no choice if you wanted this to go as discreet and as smooth as possible without raising suspicions that you knew

jin panicked for a moment because he was making french toast that he saw from damn milktpapi to try and catch your attention so when he hEARD your door click he was rapping litanies faster than the rapline ever could

they unconsciously just gravitate towards the couch and are practically hovering around you

you’re awfully quiet and the only input you give is when you’re asked a direct question

the only noise was coming from them reminiscing about their bv trip 

namjoon keeps bringing you up with “yahhh do u remember when y/n-....”

yoongi makes a point to keep laughing and have his arms protruding and therefore nudging you each time

at one point he almost shoves you but he’s barely met with a reaction

goddamn does he need to throw you off a cliff or something just to get a rise out of you

they really think that there must be something wrong 

so right when they wanted to open it up, they literally get interrupted but this time with a doorbell

you practically leap at that opportunity because quite literally were you saved by the bell

you don’t know who’s ringing your bell and why but you’re willing to take it 

jimin knows that you aren’t expecting anyone besides them as he’s made you promise

he might as well square up right now and be huffy about it

you’re bordering on confusion and curiosity as you open the door and even more-so your audience behind you who may or may not be in the same state

“theo??”

yoongi’s ears immediately perk up at that while his eyes go the widest

he’s toppling over as he scrambles for a vantage point that would get to see theo but without neither you nor theo seeing him

oh my god is this really your prfoessional basketball player for an ex-boyfriend

the boys are panicked to how yoongi’s acting and they even help him adjust his position even if they don’t know what it’s for

“wHAT YOONGI WHAT WHAT WHAT”

“BE QUIET”

he’s racking his brain for the description you gave and the picture you showed him

tall? intimidatingly. shoulders? perhaps even broader than seokjin’s. muscles? even more defined than jungkook when he lived in the gym. fluffy and silky-looking hair? enviously so :((

oh god it is theo

is he supposed to fanboy now

wait 

what was your ex doing here anyway

“i’m just gonna be out for a second, yeah?”

you say aimlessly and yoongi catches your gaze and he pretends to eat french toast while he’s stretched out on the floor to not break his cover

no one even has a chance to question nor respond because you’re already shutting the door

“WHO WAS THAT”

“WHY IS HE HERE”

“i sWEAR i saw him on tv once”

“taehyung are you ok”

yoongi’s bombarded and even if he’s shocked at the the turn of events because one second ur eating french toast with them and the next you’re out the door; he does have a bit more of an idea

“oh that was theo”

...

“are we supposed to automatically know who tHEO is???”

“you gonna add more context to that or????”

“even jimin doesn’t know!!!”

“theo’s a basketball player”

there are a couple of awed reactions

even namjoon’s explosive “aHHHHH so that’s where he’s from”

but there’s this question that’s begging to be asked

jimin taking front line as he asks with so much spite

“why is theo here then??”

this baffles yoongi too

most times he just doesn’t sugarcoat things and his mouth speaks the truth before he could even think of something else

“aish i don’t know i just know that she’s y/n’s ex so stop asking me if-...”

jimin’s in the corner with his mouth dropped, tongue poking at his cheek

“oh uhm i didn’t know that”

taehyung is sat on the floor with his attention not on the french toast anymore

eyes distant and not blinking as he’s nodding

“i see”

both jimin and taehyung clearly need time to process this bit of information

the conversation ends at that and everyone else staggers around

jimin’s in thought because why didn’t he know that??

shouldn’t he know that?

and what’s it with yoongi knowing instead of him?

taehyung, on the other hand, is conflicted with what he should feel

he’s jealous that’s for sure

the both of you covered masses of topics during the outing

but it never came to the topic of past flames

were you meaning not to tell him? or theo wasn’t talked about because the topic never came????

is this insecurity that he’s feeling

jungkook has to hold taehyung’s head still because he’s still nodding while deep in thought

you really weren’t expecting theo to show up at your doorstep

it’s in good intentions and you remained as friends but he was just too unexpected

“didn’t you know?? i’m gonna be one of those extras tomorrow for your airline commercial and it’s just a lil cameo but still!!! i don’t know i just wanted to visit you since i was in the area too :D”

and that’s what ended up with you coming with him to the little cafe at your complex with the promise that it was just gonna be quick and you’ll show him out

and perhaps that you don’t wanna be in the same room as them either

avoiding is good

yeah it would be good

:)

jimin doesn’t know what he’s trying to prove either but there’s this tug on his chest that basically yelled at him that he was a shitty friend

hasn’t been an hour ever since you left but he’s kinda sitting there fazed, whatever the other was saying coming in his ear and going out the other

“i lost my charger :(((”

jimin’s mindlessly answering to a pouty namjoon

“y/n has the same laptop. you could just get the charger by her desk”

he says naturally as if it’s clockwork and only waves him off when namjoon asks if it would be okay with you

he smiles at that and practically bounces to your unlocked room

quickly finds your desk and looks for a familiar charger

oh uhm it’s still connected to your laptop

jimin already said it was no worries so namjoon sleekly takes it out of the port with little hesitation

why did your laptop turn on

wait

is that his face??

is that

is that them in a hot tub

jimin’s wondering why namjoon is taking so long

he himself hasn’t been in your room for a long time and the thought makes him spring up

“hyung??”

fuck

oh god

it feels like freezing cold water was just splashed onto their spines without warning

jimin immediately pales

it’s taehyung who piles in last to your bedroom with all the commotion he could hear

he wants to absolutely deck himself 

everyone’s just speechless when they clicked play on the video even when they had this underlying feel to what it was

there’s a collective intake of sharp inhales because they couldn’t even finish the episode in which they basically talk shit about you for a solid three minutes

jimin has his face on his hands and he’s visibly stressed as everyone else is

couldn’t even tell on which blow was the hardest because they were all so harsh in their own ways

basically hit where it hurts most 

they were drunk beyond their comprehension and weren’t necessarily thinking

the episode was filmed pretty much in the first day of bv 

and whatever circumstance that night was in, it was still no excuse

absolutely no excuse to how they acted

maybe they took joking and overexaggerating too far

but whatever route they took, be it honest or not, no doubt that they were sure it hurt you

god a mental breakdown is already creeping at the back for all seven of them

tAEHYUNG’S SOBBING

jimin’s shaking

jungkook’s rubbing his eyes

jin and namjoon are repeating themselves

hobi’s dead silent

yoongi’s hands are practically trembling

it’s when you go home that you’ve momentarily forgotten that everything was going downwards because you spent the last hour or two being distracted by theo in just your pajamas

but it’s when you know that they know

and some can’t even look you in the eye

jimin’s the first to shoot up from his seat and god he looks somehow wrecked

“y/n i-...”

“m’sorry for being introlerable and all of those things, yeah? won’t happen again.”

everyone tenses at that

you shouldn’t even be apologetic!!

in fact they’re the ones who fucked up and you’re the one who’s acting as if you did

this makes them even more guilty

they all pipe in and try to point that out but you just easily drown them out with a tilt of your head

taehyung who’s standing by your doorframe just buffers as if to reach out for you but he retracts it quickly

they’ve really done it this time huh

it’s all just in characteristically empty spirits

the shooting next day was painful

having to drive together and be squished in between yoongi and jungkook whose mouths were so dry and eyes glossy

“i didn’t mean it”

jungkook first says under his breath and it’s quite a hitch in his throat when he adds on to it

“we weren’t thinking at all”

it’s a quiet show as jungkook and yoongi try to apologize to you and you’re in the middle trying to just sit through it all

it’s a quick nod as you have for a response before you hurriedly go down the van in perfect timing

you did listen and the apologies were sincere and heartfelt

just not too keen on forgiving something of that gravity in an instant

even with their promise that they could work something out to have that bit cut out or even scrap the whole episode if necessary

you just couldn’t wait to get the day over

you’re rigid with them and them trying to get to talk to you in between takes

the skits required more of them than you anyway so you just sat that one out

all while they try to get genuine with the feelings and lines indicated in their script

taehyung was the most distracted

even if people expected more of him given his acting credentials

and when it’s your turn to be filmed at, he can’t help staring

you looked blank

there’s this certain hyunbin (and also to your surprise) that’s gonna act as your co-pilot that got to make you smile a time or two after making a fool out of himself

if only taehyung knew that theo’s gonna be here as an extra

he would flip and THEN bawl

and as if things wouldn’t get even more unfavorable for you, they decide to cram in the photoshoot for the billboard at this very day too

multiple shoots of you being in the middle of them with a commercial-like smile

you having a solo one

them having one too

the boys wearing your airline’s flight attendant uniforms

trying to have a candid shot but all of you should be laughing and smiling as per the director

that was painful

that was really painful for the staff to watch

most painful for the eight of you

they even had to count to three so you could laugh together even if that takes away the essence of a candid shot

jimin wants so badly to hold you and talk to you

taehyung wants to get on his knees desperately if it means earning your forgiveness

the shoot raps and you’re zooming out the set

tae breaks down yet again because they’re gonna be held up by your ceo for awhile

:(

things feel empty and slow

everyone got around to texting you their apologies because as much as they’re desperate to apologize, they’ve done enough damage and respecting your space is the least they could do

that doesn’t stop jimin dropping in from time to time to leave something by your door

nor taehyung who doesn’t give up with all his texting and calling and sometimes waiting on your door

jimin and him coincidentially went at the same time and they just teared up and sulked together

you weren’t even home at that time

of course you’ve read their messages

trying to talk it out too as you’ve refused to succumb into your passive-aggressiveness

admittedly

you don’t wanna lose what you have either

:(

it’s only been two weeks so far

progress as you reply to texts here and there

slowly warming up again!!

namjoon earning back his partner for talking about movie symbolisms and perhaps everything wrong in this barren earth

seokjin getting to send you incorrect quotes from cake boss again left and right

hobi gaining his online shopping partner back 

yoongi making you promise that you’d hug him when he gets to see you again

jungkook vowing to teach you how to draw and makes sure to send daily content so he could make you switch wallpapers

jimin

well jimin

jimin’s going over the top as he has a lot to mend

but forgiveness was clear in the path and when you finally agreed to meet up with him after your shift

(he’s made the effort to wait for you in your lounge hours before as he got to pull some strings)

and then when you have a drink over it and talk about what happened properly, it just ends in a massive hug and some tears shed :((

“i missed u so much”

“i know”

“i could really be a fucking asshole sometimes”

“you are”

“you are none of those things and i don’t ever wanna stop having you as my friend”

“aha yes”

“you love me too much and i love you too much and this is forever now ok pls don’t get mad at me ever again”

basically everything was slowly returning back to normal

taehyung hasn’t texted you for a couple of days

even if you barely responded and miss him as much

it’s something you still have to come to terms with because his blows hit the hardest

you’re losing sleep just by thinking about him :(

you try to get on with your days with the knowledge that you get on with the six of them

things becoming more hectic for you because sometimes you forget that you’re famous now

but sometimes it was just lackluster if you were to admit

you basically sprint at the chance to pick up a normal shift again because you’ve missed flying

you liked being pampered for shoots but being tired from flying is the ache you’ve been craving for :((

it’s when you’re briefed that the plane you’d be flying isn’t your usual aircraft yet you still have the clearance for it

it’s when you just had the kick to be extra punctual and jump at the chance to greet passengers boarding

it’s these little extras in your day that you were so eager for things

that things just seem to be aligning

:)

taehyung’s by the front-most seat

hyunbin by his side as he gets up and goes to the cockpit to do nothing but take your place

it’s oddly warm just by looking at taehyung

no apologies have been said yet and it’s when that hyunbin practically says over the mic that “y/n take a seat and put your seatbelt on jesus christ” you do beside tae

the atmosphere’s just a loving type of warm

you really can’t explain it

it’s the same type of slow burn the both of you felt in the outing

the same anticipation you had for each other even if the other was doing the bare minimum

“hi”

taehyung croaks out after an eternity, a grin he tries to earnestly keep as it breaks out

“let’s talk.”

he’s nervous as he sees you relax to your seat, knowing in routine that the plane was to take off 

taehyung ever-so slightly shifts in his seat, shoulders touching with yours and hand in an armrest as he flexes them so slightly -- only supposed to be an attempt at a loving tease but it’s when you shift towards him and have your hand skim his for the slightest fraction

:)

“let’s talk.”

[rainhadaenerys]

Analysis of the Game of Thrones Soundtrack: House Targaryen

This an analysis of the music of House Targaryen by Jordi Maquiavello. I really love his videos, I think his analyses are brilliant, but unfortunately, a lot of people don't know them because they're in Spanish. So I decided to try to translate this video, one of my favorites, in which he talks about the music of House Targaryen, mostly about Dany's themes. By the way, before I start, I must warn that I don't actually speak Spanish. But I'm a Portuguese speaker and the two languages are very similar, so I think I could understand most of what was being said. If I commit any huge mistake, feel free to warn me. Also, I might skip some parts of the video like jokes or other parts I didn't think were essential, but I tried to keep the translation mostly faithful to what was being said. Anyway, let's start.

Before we start, the Game of Thrones Soundtrack can be found in the public articles of Wikipedia (HERE).

Season 1

House Targaryen has themes related to three characters: Daenerys and Viserys Targaryen, and Jorah Mormont. The first theme we hear in the show is Viserys' theme, "A Golden Crown". Later we will see why Viserys has his own theme and what's the meaning for Dany's character development. What we hear is a harp as the main instrument, and the theme contains several rests (pauses). It's a theme with a mysterious sonority, and finally, a group of violins joins when Daenerys enters the bathtub. It's a very different theme from the intense ones we will later see with Daenerys.

(Link to A Golden Crown)

(Link to the bathtub scene)

In the next scene, we see the first appearance of the Dothraki. Their theme will also influence a lot Dany's theme in the future. The theme is called To Vaes Dothrak, and starts with a duduk. It's an Armenian wind instrument, and it's the main instrument of the Dothraki theme. This duduk is accompanied by drums that play in the rhythm of a horse ride, obviously because a huge symbol of the Dothraki people is the horse:

(Link to the theme To Vaes Dothrak)

(Link to the scene where Dany meets Khal Drogo)

Again, when Viserys whispers in Dany's ears, Viserys' theme plays again, this time with a distant violin. And in this scene, Dany and Drogo's romantic theme, Love in the Eyes, plays for the first time. But the theme plays in an accelerated rhythm, because in this scene, the theme is from Drogo's perspective [I didn't understand everything Jordi said here, but that's the gist of it]. The drums sound progressively, until Drogo and his bloodriders ride away.

(Link to the theme Love in the eyes)

In Dany and Drogo's wedding, Drogo gives her a white mare, and we hear the theme (Love in the Eyes) because Daenerys is grateful for the gesture, but we hear it distant because she still sees Drogo as a brute barbarian and she doesn't like him very much.

It's important to talk now about the musical theme of the fucking dragon eggs, which are chords in a metal wind instrument (brass instrument) that appears every time the dragon eggs appear. It's the "Finale theme", theme of the birth of the dragons, but played softly here in the beginning. (This sound appears in this scene the moment the dragon eggs are shown)

During the rape scene, the theme that starts playing is Love in the eyes, but the scene ends with the theme playing in a minor tonality, because obviously, Daenerys isn't happy.

(Link to the wedding scene)

The next episode starts with the dragon eggs. Again, the fucking eeeeeeh sound. Here, the composition is very interesting, because we hear very distant chords very, played with a duduk of what will be the final composition, because, for the first theme, we are told directly about the dragons, instead of just showing the damned eggs.

When Doreah teaches Dany how to please Drogo (he starts a small rant of why he hates Dany x Drogo), "Love in the Eyes" plays, to prepare us for the next scene. (Jordi then remarks on how incredible Dany's evolution is, when Dany is here timid even though Doreah is her slave, and later she will be confident with Daario). During Drogo and Dany's sex scene, Love in the Eyes plays, but it sounds perfectly melodic now, because they are finally both in love with each other (he then starts to rant against Jonerys haters that say Jonerys was rushed even though Dany goes from being raped by Drogo to being in love in an episode and a half).

(Link to the dragon eggs scene, Doreah teaching Dany, and Dany and Drogo sex scene)

Let's skip some scenes that don't go anywhere and start again our analysis in Viserys' death. When Viserys threatens Dany, we hear some chords that intensify to generate expectation, fear, unease. When Viserys believes he got what he wanted, the theme Golden Crown plays, because he believes he finally got what he wanted. But things get twisted, and we hear minor chords, and meanwhile we see Viserys beg for his life. It's pertinent to remark something very cool, that the theme doesn't change while the gold pours on Viserys, and the theme stops playing just as Viserys dies. Viserys' theme goes with him just as it came.

(Link to Viserys' death scene)

I'm going to skip the parts before Drogo's death, because they have nothing important, and won't influence the soundtrack in any important way. When Daenerys kills Drogo, the theme "When the sun rises in the west" plays. This theme starts with recycled chords from a previous scene, in which the Maegi tells Dany for the first time the famous phrase, "when the sun rises in the west and sets in the east, blah, blah, blah… I am a witch", and then Love in the Eyes stars to play, but there's something important in this composition, this theme lacks something: the drums. The duduk will even play the theme faster, the melody is modified because Drogo has died. The drums that evoked a horse's gallop no longer are here, and the theme is not sounding in a moderate tempo (tempo is the rhythm, how fast a music goes), but at an accelerated tempo. We could almost say it's Presto (a faster tempo), but I'd say it's an Allegro tempo.

(Link to "When the sun rises in the west")

(Link to the scene where Dany kills Drogo)

Let's talk about the scene of Drogo's pyre. The scene uses three themes. First place, the fucking metal wind instrument sound of the dragon eggs that drive me crazy (when we see the dragon eggs). In second place, Love in the Eyes plays for the first time associated with the love theme from Jorah's point of view, when Daenerys kisses his cheek. Here is the first time Dany shows affection to Jorah. Before this, we knew Jorah liked Dany, but this is the first time Jorah receives a show of affection on Dany's part. The theme Love in the eyes plays solemnly, with inverted chords.

In the continuation of the scene, the drums come back, because Daenerys has established her own leadership position over the remaining khalasar, combining with the theme of the dragon eggs. It's in this scene that the theme Love in the Eyes becomes Dany's theme permanently, dissociating the theme from Drogo. Love in the Eyes intensifies as Dany enters the fire and dies. (Basically, Dany has taken over Drogo's role, which is why the drums are not just for him, but for her)

(Link to the theme that plays in the scene, Fire and Blood)

(Link to the scene)

In the next scene, finally, we see the dragons, and the metal wind instrument sound that we we hearing since the fucking first episode. And when Dany starts to get up, this theme used for the dragons starts being played by strings, growing and growing with major chords, until the composition explodes and we wear the theme Finale (basically, the small dragon egg sound evolves into the theme Finale). He hear the strings section together with strong and clear vocals. The vocals will be very important in Daenerys' themes, because they symbolize all the people that follow her and are loyal to her, from here on. The metal wind instrument sounds converge in a composition combined with the Main Theme, with strings, drums and choir together.

(Link to Finale)

Season 2

During this season, the soundtrack almost doesn't evolve. It evolves only in the last episode in an important way. But during the entire season we will have two themes: Qarth, the theme used during the entire season, since we are in Qarth, and Pyat Pree, Pyat Pree's theme. The Qarth theme utilizes an oriental touch of Essos, also represented previously in the Dothraki theme, and later, in Yunkai and Meereen's themes. This preference for wind instruments and exotic scales, especially oriental ones, is due to the fact that Essos is completely different from Westeros. They are different cultures, have different customs, different armies, different economies, and different politics, like how in Essos slavery is legal and in Westeros it’s forbidden. Even Syrio Forel, in the first season, showed us the difference between the two continents in the fighting style. This is why the soundtrack of Westeros is completely different from the Essos one. The contrast between the compositions gives life to the series, making counterpoints between the different plots, Jon Snow’s plot in the North, the different plots in the South, and Daenerys’ plot in Essos. This contrast gives us the feeling of plausibility of the world and the show, and very different tones in the soundtrack, that we are able to associate unconsciously.

(Link to the Qarth theme. It uses a wind instrument and percussion in an exotic scale, in this case, an oriental scale.)

The second theme we see in this plot is Pyat Pree’s theme, the wizard that kills the Thirteen and kidnaps Dany’s dragons. His theme is a dark version of the Qarth theme, with a lot of percussion with a mystical and magical touch. It’s a perfect theme for this character, because he is the magical and mystical side of Qarth. And it’s dark because he’s an evil wizard with not very ethical intentions and methods to get to power, killing innocents and all the Dothraki khalasar that accompanied Daenerys, bringing Dany to the House of the Undying.

(Link to the theme Pyat Pree)

For weeks, I’ve been bombarded by people asking me to make an analysis of the House of the Undying scene, and sincerely, no. The best analysis channel of GOT has done it, and hundreds of channels in English and Spanish have analyzed this fucking scene. Gods! Enough! According to the soundtrack, what is the House of the Undying scene? Just one more scene of the show. Zero musical complexity. It’s Daenerys’ theme, Love in the Eyes, playing with vocals, and when she sees Drogo, it plays the version of the theme from when Dany killed him, When the Sun Rises in the West. And that’s it! Nothing more!

Now this scene is what’s interesting (referring to the scene when Dany finds her dragons chained). Pyat Pree chains Daenerys, and soon Daenerys will say the magic word. Is it the theme Dracarys that will sound? No! Dany’s dragons have evolved throughout all seasons together with Daenerys, so their soundtrack also evolves with her. The first theme of the dragons is Finale, that relates to the brief sound of metal wind instrument, because it evokes their roar and their minuscule size, it’s a birth and growing. But then, this is the first moment when we are shown that the dragons are very dangerous, which is why the theme that plays in this scene for the first time is Mother of Dragons, because the dragons have just demonstrated their power for the first time, and Daenerys has demonstrated her power too, since the dragons have obeyed her orders (Mother of Dragons is an evolution of that first sound used for the dragons). So while this is the second evolution of the dragons (like Pokemon), it’s important to emphasize that this version, Mother of Dragons, is a more accelerated version, with vocals, and with major chords of the theme Love in the Eyes, Dany’s theme.

(Link to the House of the Undying scene)

(Link to the theme Mother of Dragons)

It’s important to emphasize that every season finale of Daenerys, with the exception of season 5, is with her power growing. In the first season her dragons are born. In the second she recovers her dragons and becomes rich by sacking Xaro’s house. In the third season she has a legion of soldiers and people. In the fourth season she is queen of Meereen. In the sixth she has her army and navy ready. And in the seventh season she is fucking Aegon Targaryen. Yes, very powerful finales. But there is something to be explained.

Game of Thrones’s Main Theme has a meaning. And it’s this one: the fight for power, the ascension to the throne, and the fall.

Exactly. The second season ends with Mother of Dragons combined with the Main Theme because 1) Daenerys has demonstrated to have enough power over her dragons and 2) because her power has increased considerably, from a nomad with newly born dragons and on the verge of death, to a rich traveller with powerful dragons and a ship. They are huge differences. That's why the Main Theme of Game of Thrones intensifies, because her power has grown, just like in the first season, from a khaleesi with nothing to a Mother of Dragons.

(Link to Dany's last scene in season 2)

Season 3

During this season, Daenerys gains two new themes, and it’s probably the season in which her power grows the most. When she’s in Astapor, and we see the scenes with the Unsullied, we hear drums and distant vocals, because they are preparing us for what’s to come. We will associate these drums to the Unsullied’s army.

Like I have commented, when it comes to the soundtrack, Daenerys is a sponge. She absorbs musical themes that are utilized in other themes associated to her, like what happened with the melody Love in the Eyes, that is inspired by Dothraki themes, her several Targaryen themes, like the previous chords of the theme Mother of Dragons, which are inspired by an inversion of Viserys’ theme, etc, etc. When Daenerys obtains the Unsullied and executes her master power play, we hear for the first time this wonderful “drop” (when Drogon sets Kraznys on fire), that we will hear in each season. This sound is obtained with a cello and a double bass and a a tremulous effect. It’s a sound that evokes the roar of a dragon. In first instance, I associated the theme to the title of the theme itself, Dracarys, that is, the theme would play when a dragon would set something on fire after Dany says the word dracarys. This way, it would have a complete meaning. But it isn’t like that. The “drop” sounds twice without this happening. When Daenerys orders the catapults to fire in Meereen, and when she kills the Dothraki khals (in season 6). This… doesn’t make much sense. So… is this Dany’s theme when she’s a badass? Maybe, but then Ramin Djawadi puts the theme in the scene when Drogon kills the Sons of the Harpy in Daznak’s Pit. Daenerys doesn’t order anything, Drogon simply burns the Sons of the Harpy. So this is not the Daenerys badass theme. So what is it? It’s the Targaryen battle theme, both for Daenerys and for her dragons. It’s a drop that sounds before an imminent attack, besides being the theme of when Daenerys takes the Unsullied from Astapor.

Here we have to have something very clear. The theme Love in The Eyes is Daenerys main theme. This theme will sound in all of Dany’s themes. Well, since all of them are variations of this theme, Mother of Dragons is the theme of Dany’s dragons. Dracarys is the theme of the Unsullied first, and later the Targaryen battle theme (to make it clear, when I say Targaryen I include the Unsullied and the dragons, basically Dany’s army, including her).

Dracarys uses Mother of Dragons in a descending scale accompanied by ascending and descending chords.

(Link to the theme Dracarys)

(Link to Dany's scenes in Astapor)

After this wonderful episode, let’s go to the next, when we first see Grey Worm. In this very beautiful moment (when Dany asks the Unsullied to choose their names and Grey Worm says that he will choose Grey Worm, because it's the name he had the day Dany set him free), we hear very soft chords of the theme Mhysa, that will play when she takes Yunkai, giving us a hint of Dany’s position of mother (and a hint of the Mhysa theme that will come).

(Link to the scene)

In the Mhysa scene, the Mhysa theme plays for the first time, one of my favorite themes of the series. The choir starts with a children’s choir. When Daenerys is lifted up by the slaves, it intensifies, and a woman’s choir starts to sound. And when the theme breaks in its climax we hear a men’s choir. And in the credits, the three choirs unite. This refers to Mhysa’s own theme: Daenerys has united men, women and children that now follow her, and is a mother for them all. We leave aside the male choirs, because now, there are civilians following her, not just soldiers. It’s a wonderful composition, an interpretation of Love in the Eyes, combined with the Main Theme in a natural major scale with choir. One of the best Ramin Djawadi has composed in Game of Thrones.

(Link to the theme Mhysa)

(Link to theme Mhysa with lyrics - I've seen different versions and fan translations since we don't have an official lyrics and Ramin himself said that the song doesn't exactly mean anything, it's kinda gibberish, but that's the best I found from what the fans could make. But the translation could very likely be wrong)

(Link to the Mhysa scene)

Season 4

During this season, we have to have something very clear: it’s the season Daenerys takes Meereen, but at the end, things get twisted, and Daenerys takes, at least in my opinion, bad decisions: exiles Jorah and chains her dragons. And the soundtrack warns Daenerys of this. But let’s start from the beginning, Meereen’s theme:

(Link to the theme Meereen)

Remember the oriental and exotic touch we mentioned in the previous seasons? It’s the same. But this city has something special: it’s the older, biggest and most powerful of the previous cities. Which is why the theme has such large notes, it’s a grandiloquent theme compared to the previous ones. When Dany takes Meereen, and we see this magnificent shot of her looking over Meereen from the top of the pyramid (after she takes the city and crucifies the masters), we hear Mhysa, on the scale of Meereen’s theme, as the theme of Dany’s triumph.

(Link to the scene of Dany taking Meereen)

When Dany learns of Jorah’s treason and exiles him, we hear the love theme of Jorah to Dany, when he says he loves her. But when she finally decides to exile him, the theme starts to play with minor chords, and converts into a heartbreak theme, one of the saddest themes of the show.

(Link to the scene Dany exiles Jorah)

(Link to the theme Forgive Me)

And here, it’s where everything goes to shit (scene of Hazzea’s father). One of the last scenes of season 4. The composition that will analyze here is Breaker of Chains. The first part plays when the farmer comes with his deceased daughter to the throne room. What we hear is the theme of the dragons (Mother of Dragons) in a minor scale, with a melancholic touch. The scale continues with a small pause, and the theme restarts when Daenerys chains Viserion and Rhaegal in the catacombs of Meereen. We start again to hear an intensified theme with what seems to be a low trombone with the Main Theme. The entire composition is a negative theme, including making some leaps that the original composition doesn’t do in the same bar (measure), as well as indicating to us that something isn’t well. Like the song’s own title, Breaker of Chains, that reminds us that Daenerys, the breaker of Chains, is chaining her own children. It’s the Mother of Dragons theme in a descending scale with a trombone accompanying it.

(Link to the theme Breaker of Chains)

Season 5

In this season, we will have of one the most complex, brilliant, and better written of the show: Sons of the Harpy. I know this is an analysis of House Targaryen, but I couldn’t not talk about this song, because it’s a constant theme in this season, and its anatomy is brilliant. Remember the scene where the citizens of Meereen hiss at Daenerys when she executes Mossador? According to David J. Peterson, the language used in Slaver’s Bay is Low Valyrian, and specifically in Yunkai and Meereen, Ghiscari. Ghiscari, according to Peterson, is a very sibilant language, since most words have letters pronounced as “S”s. This is why in Mossador’s execution, Meereen’s citizens use this “ssss” sound, that reminds us of a serpent, and the great conflicts in the city start. The slave culture is directed by the mythical figure of the Old Ghiscari Empire, the Harpy. Therefore, the Harpy is the representation of the power of the slavers, their symbol. Which is why in every city of Slaver’s Bay we see in the show, we see the statue of the Harpy. When Daenerys finally takes Meereen, and casts down the Harpy statue from the pyramid, the slavers obviously don’t like it. They create a terrorist group, the Sons of the Harpy, and they have a theme. If we could use a word to define this theme, it’s claustrophobia. It’s a theme that seems like it’s going to trap you, won’t let you escape, an obsessive theme that stalks you. This is why it has chords so firm and loud, the tempo is so Presto (fast), it’s a complete declaration of intention. And this theme starts with a main idea.

It took me time, blood and sweat, but I was able to translate this song. There are no articles of Ghiscari or Valyrian about the word Harpy, or about the word utilized in the very theme, no phonetical coincidence. But in Old Ghiscari, this word does exist. Investigating possible translations, words in Ghiscari and Low Valyrian, what the theme says is the following:

Harpies! Harpies! Queen, we are the sons of the Harpy!

Queen, queen, queen, the harpy comes for you!

You you know what this theme is? It’s the theme Mhysa, but inverted, in a descending scale with minor chords, with the famous drums of the slavers sounding at all moments. The choirs are the most terrifying in the show, brutal. During the season, the idea basis of the theme is used in the scenes of this group, including the scene of Barristan’s death. But we hear these choirs so terrible, so claustrophobic, in the scene of the fighting pits, because nothing can or will escape them in that place. Now let’s analyze all the fighting pit scene.

During the entire battle scene, we hear the drums, until Jorah is about to die, and we hear minor chords of Meereen’s theme. From these chords, they grow, and play during the scene between Jorah and Meereen’s champion. Here, the drums stop sounding, because we no longer are seeing the scene from the perspective of the audience in the fighting pits, but from the perspective of the Queen of Meereen, Daenerys. When Jorah kills Meeren’s champion, the music stops, and we only hear the screams of the audience. We start the second act, where a Son of the Harpy tries to attack Daenerys and Jorah kills him. In the moment the mask of this terrorist group is revealed, the theme Sons of the Harpy starts to play, this time, for the first time in the show, with vocals. The theme grows as the members of this group are revealed, and explodes when Daario screams “protect your queen”. Daenerys takes Jorah’s hand, and the love theme of Jorah to Dany plays over the song, because the love Jorah feels for Dany has overcome the situation that is happening. The composition continues to play, and when they are surrounded, the theme of the Sons of the Harpy is renewed, until Drogon appears.

(Link to the theme Sons of the Harpy)

Third act. The silence is used to indicate to us that shit is going real, and suddenly Drogon returns. The theme Mother of Dragons sounds for the first time in the ominous way we know currently, because Drogon has come back to save his mother. Give me the drop (he says this referring to the Dracarys theme that sounds when Drogon attacks the Sons). After Dracarys, Mother of Dragons sounds again in a solemn way, and more paused when Daenerys tries to pet Drogon. The theme grows while Daenerys climbs onto Drogon’s back, we have one beat symbolizing Drogon's (I couldn't understand) and the theme explodes for the first time in the show, with no cuts, loud and clear.

(Link to theme Dance of Dragons)

(Link to the Daznak's Pit scene)

In the next episode we hear Mother of Dragons again, in the same way we hear in the scene when Daenerys pets Drogon. And after that, Daenerys goes to explore. Why not? Daenerys the Explorer. We hear again the theme that we didn’t hear in almost 5 seasons: To Vaes Dothrak (when the Dothraki appear and surround Dany), and that’s how Dany’s storyline in season 5 ends.

(Link to the scene)

Season 6

Just like the last season, season 6 starts with the theme To Vaes Dothrak. We will skip these first scenes because they bring nothing new, and go to the scene where Dany kills the khals. What we hear when Daenerys throws the fire on them is Dracarys, and the theme grows as the place burns. It’s when Dany gets out that we hear the theme Khaleesi, one of the most beautiful of the show. We hear drums to generate expectation, and Mother of Dragons plays followed by chords of Finale (the theme of the first season finale), because of the parallel between the scenes. Then we have chords of Love in the Eyes, and end with chords of the theme Mhysa, everything combined in the same theme, to show what Dany has achieved, unite one of the biggest khalasars in Dothraki history, and making them kneel before a woman. After Winds of Winter and Dragonstone, it’s the best theme of House Targaryen. It’s the theme of Dany’s reign over the Dothraki.

(Link to the scene where Dany burns the khals)

(Link to the theme Khaleesi)

The next song is brief, but very intense, because of the power of the scene. We see Drogon for the first time in a long time. Mother of Dragons sounds even more powerful than the time Drogon saved Dany, because he is much bigger, and Dany’s power is bigger as well. And it’s important to remark that as Dany’s power grows, the ominous nature of the theme grows. The theme pauses as Dany makes her speech, and in the moment she starts telling the Dothraki that they will be her bloodriders, Khaleesi starts to play, growing in intensity until Drogon roars.

(Link to the theme Blood of my Blood)

(Link to Dany's speech to the Dothraki)

Episode 9 of the season starts with the attack of Meereen by the slavers, and what plays is the Sons of the Harpy theme until we get to the dialogue between Dany and Tyrion (where the music stops). When Drogon gets to the negotiation scene, we hear the theme Reign, that starts with Mother of Dragons on a negative scale, with minor chords that sound apocalyptic, because wee see this scene from the perspective of the slavers, that are scared to death. While Daenerys flies over the ships and Viserion and Rhaegal free themselves, Mother of Dragons plays in its complete form, until Dracarys sounds when Daenerys says Dracarys. The scene ends with the theme Dracarys in its apogeu.

(Link to the scene)

(Link to the theme Reign)

Now let’s finally analyze Winds of Winter, a composition that ends the season. Many have analyzed and theorized that the theme is the union of the Greyjoys and the Targaryens, but there’s more to it. Why does the sequence start with this shot? The Greyjoy banner covering the sun? If we remember, the Greyjoys call themselves the storm that comes when the sun dies. This scene represents this symbolism, because suddenly, the Greyjoy flag no longer covers anything, because Yara’s Greyjoys are not Greyjoys. Her flag is blue, her clothes too, while Euron’s are black, as are the traditional Greyjoys. They look at the flag this way, because they have sworn allegiance to a queen, breaking with their previous customs, like rape and pillaging. This is why this scene is like this. And we see a contrast between Theon and Yara, with Theon serious and Yara smiling. It’s not a union theme, it’s a theme that symbolizes what the Greyjoys of Yara have become. Only the main chords of "What is dead may never die" play, without its main melody, because the protagonist of the scene is Daenerys. The theme continues with the Main Theme, symbolizing power, with the theme Dracarys as a countermelody. Until Drogon appears, and Mother of Dragons plays. When we see Daenerys, the choirs sound at the rhythm of the Dracarys melody, while the camera distances itself and the episode ends.

(Link to the theme The Winds of Winter)

(Link to the scene)

Season 7

The season starts with Daenerys arriving at Dragonstone, and it’s one of the best themes of the show in regards to soundtrack. The theme used in the scene is called Dragonstone, and it utilizes seven of Dany’s themes. As Dany approaches the beach, Dracarys plays combined with the Main Theme, as if it’s a combination of The Winds of Winter, adding bass to the melody Mother of Dragons at a low tone. As the dragons appear and fly over Dragonstone, Dance of Dragons plays, because the dragons have returned to their home. As Daenerys steps on shore, soft chords of Mother of Dragons play. As Daenerys touches the sand with her hands, Love in the Eyes, Dany’s theme, sounds, because Dany is finally home. As Dany sees Dragonstones gates, Dracarys plays combined with the Main Theme, because the dragons and Daenerys are reminded of their Targaryen legacy. As the gates open, Khaleesi and Mhysa play together, because Daenerys is walking to take her throne. As Daenerys starts to climb the stairs, Dance of Dragons plays again, because Daenerys and her dragons have entered Dragontone. As Dany takes down Stannis’ banner, soft chords from Breaker of Chains play. As Daenerys walks into the throne room, Mhysa and Love in the Eyes play together. As Daenerys walks into the chamber of the painted table, chords of Stannis’ theme play.

(Link to the theme Dragonstone)

(Link to the scene)

__________________________________________________________

The translation of this video ends here, but I decided to also translate bits of other videos in which he talks about the rest of Dany's themes in season 7 (with the exception of the theme Truth, because he has many videos talking about this and I want to focus this post on Dany).

Spoils of War episode

(Link to the video analysis of the episode)

I'll skip the Stark reunion, because there's nothing special in the soundtrack. So I'll start analyzing the dragonglass cave scene. The theme that plays in this scene is one that we haven't yet heard in the show (the theme Dragonglass), and it utilizes the Three Eyed Raven theme, of when Bran and his friends get to the cave beyond the wall. It's a theme that combines the themes of the children of the forest and the theme of Bran's dreams from the beginning of the show. The theme has two parts. The first one is when they see the dragonglass (the dragonglass theme combines the children of the forest's theme with new chords), and the second part is when Jon shows Daenerys the drawings of the children of the forest, where the composition of the first part continues, until the drawings of the white walkers are shown, and the theme White Walkers is used. The theme grows until Daenerys walks closer to Jon, when Jon and Daenerys' theme, Truth, starts to play. This time, it plays in another scale, but it's the theme from the previous episode. And if we pay attention, as the scale is changed, no longer we hear the chords of Jon and Ygritte's theme, we hear the theme of House Stark, when Jon says the North won't accept a Southern ruler. As Jon and Dany walk out of the cave, the theme grows, and four chords of Jon and Ygritte's theme play, so we have one more part of Truth.

(Link to the theme Dragonglass)

In the beach scene, chords of Love in the Eyes play distantly, but very low and almost unrecognizable, negative, because Daenerys is angry and doesn't know what to do. This theme plays until Jon gives her advice, at which moment Truth plays again, the version of the previous chapter in the same scale. We confirm what we say previously: in first place, the theme of Daenerys and Drogo plays, and then the theme of Jon and Ygritte plays, but for longer this time. Truth sounds twice in this episode, in the two scenes of Jon and Dany.

(Link to the cave scene and the beach scene)

Now let's analyze the battle. The song that plays in the battle is composed by several themes together. As I said in my analysis of the battle of Castle Black, battles are a pulse between the two opponents. And the soundtrack shows this. At first, we hear the Dothraki screams combined with a line of musical tension, one note with higher and higher tone with beats of timpani, which inspires tension and expectation. Until Drogon appears, and Mother of Dragons plays, the theme associated with Dany’s dragons. But we hear it slightly low, as if the it was lowered by a few tones. It’s the first time this theme plays with a negative connotation, because we see the battle at every moment from the perspective of the Lannisters, and at no moment from Dany’s perspective or the Dothraki’s perspective. That’s why the theme of Dany’s dragons sounds so low and negative.

After she sets them on fire, a theme with progressive beats plays, like the rhythm of horses riding. This theme corresponds to the Dothraki, who are executing a cavalry charge, and again, it plays with a negative tone, until the Dothraki stand over their horses and start to shoot, which is a new Dothraki theme, with a regular progression, on the rhythm of horses riding.

Once again, the dragons' theme starts to play, when Drogon burns the line of the lancers and the wagons. When Jaime orders the attack on Drogon, Mother of Dragons continues playing, but it combines with the Lannister war theme, Blackwater, which has several beats of timpani and combines with Rains of Castamere. The theme resumes when we see Bronn trying to get to the scorpion. When Bronn kills the bloodrider, the scorpion is revealed, and Cersei’s theme plays, Light of the Seven, in a very low tone. It plays because, as we’ve seen from the second episode of the season, the theme plays when the scorpion appears, because it’s a weapon created by Qyburn, and Qyburn is linked to Cersei in this theme. When wee see Drogon, Light of the Seven is combined with Mother of Dragons.

When Tyrion sees the Lannister army being destroyed, the theme that plays is Rains of Castamere, the theme of House Lannister, played in violin, just like House Stark’s theme, that is, in a sad and nostalgic way. Until Drogon appears again, and Mother of Dragons plays in a negative way again. At no moment it sounds with a positive connotation or with the original scale of the theme, because we are seeing this from Jaime’s perspective. Once again, we see Bronn, and Cersei’s theme plays again, and again it combines with Mother of Dragons.

When the scorpion hits Drogon, chords of Love in the Eyes plays, softly, combined with Mother of Dragons, this time, for the first time in the sequence, in its original scale, because we see it from Tyrion’s perspective, and Tyrion is worried about Daenerys. When Dany tries to take the spear from Drogon, Jaime rides towards her, and the Lannister battle theme that was playing, Blackwater, plays again, but with beats of Light of the Seven in the same scale, because what this theme meant was Jaime’s sacrifice for the Lannisters and for Cersei.

(Link to the theme Spoils of War Part 1)

(Link to the theme Spoils of Wart Part 2)

(Link to the battle scene)

Beyond the Wall Episode

(Link to the video analysis of the episode)

As I commented, in Spoils of War, Mother of Dragons is played in a negative way, because we see the battle from the perspective of the Lannisters. In the scene where Dany decides to go save Jon, we hear Mother of Dragons played in this same negative way, because we see the scene from Tyrion’s perspective, who doesn’t want Dany to go, he doesn’t agree with her action and worries about her.

(Link to the scene)

(He starts to analyze the battle, and I’ll skip this part because only Dany interests me).

When everything seems lost, My Watch has ended, Jon’s theme, plays. It’s a theme that only plays in very personal moments for Jon, like Jon abandoning the Watch, Jon’s death, and even in this episode, when Jorah lets him stay with Longclaw (for his children). But it also plays in moments where Jon is about to die, like the Battle of the Bastards. Which is why this theme plays in this moment, nostalgic and depressing, until Drogon arrives. Now it’s important to note that in this season, we saw Dany’s dragons more than any other season. And yet, in no moment does the soundtrack portrays them as positive when they are attacking, only in moments like when Dany arrives to Dragonstone, or when Jon pets Drogon. In Spoils of War, the dragons' theme sounds completely apocalyptic, it portrays the dragons as evil beasts, including in the episode when Drogon burns the Tarlys. And even in this episode, when Dany leaves Dragonstone to save Jon, it sounds negative. So in the scene when Dany arrives to save Jon, it’s the first time we hear Mother of Dragons played in a positive way, because it’s a rescue, and we see this from Jon’s perspective. Then, the theme of Jon and Daenerys starts to play in the scale of Mother of Dragons. It’s wonderful. It plays accelerated because of the urgency of getting away, and that’s the mistake that Jon makes, because the theme of the White Walkers starts to play, in the same scale that Cersei’s theme plays when Bronn hits Drogon, because the two scenes are parallels.

This is why I like Viserion’s death scene so much. When Drogon is hit by Qyburn’s scorpion, a dramatic music plays. When Robb Stark dies, a dramatic music plays. Here, there is no music, because we see the scene from Daenerys' perspective, and Daenerys has not screamed, has not cried, has said nothing. She simply looks at Viserion falling and dying without expression, because she is in shock. She can't believe one of her dragons has been killed, because until now, they were invincible. It's a scene of complete shock, because it's something completely unexpected. The theme Love in the Eyes plays, because Daenerys still doesn't believe it, and is freaking out inside. When Daenerys flies away and looks back to Jon, two chords of her theme with Jon play, but completely unrecognizable and very low, because Dany can't believe in absolutely anything of what just happened.

(Link to the theme that plays in the scene, Against All Odds)

(Link to the scene)

____________________

He starts talking about Benjen, and only about the Jonerys theme, and since I'm trying to focus this post on just Dany, I'll leave Jonerys for a later post. The Dragon and the Wolf is mostly Jonerys, so I won't translate that either.

About season 8, I also won't translate the videos, but I'll remark here on a few things Jordi said about Dany in each of them.

(Link to the analysis of Episode 8x01)

(Link to the analysis of Episode 8x03)

When Dany arrives in Winterfell, King's Arrival, the theme that played when Robert arrived in Winterfell, plays, but with a different harmony (that combines Dany's themes, like Dracarys).

(Link to the scene)

(Link to the theme Arrival at Winterfell)

In the Long Night episode, when Dany decides to abandon the plan and go save everyone with her dragons, and she and Jon start to burn the wights (which gives hope to the combatants on the ground), the theme used is the same used when Dany saves Jon in the Frozen Lake, Against All Odds. This is a theme that combines Mother of Dragons (Dany's theme with her dragons) and Truth (the Jonerys theme). As Jordi says, it's the "Jonerys flight theme", and it plays as Dany and Jon save and bring hope to everyone.

(Link to the scene)

By the end of the episode, when Dany sets fire to the Night King, another interesting thing happens: instead of Mother of Dragons (the theme of Dany's dragons), the theme that plays is Love in the Eyes, Dany's theme. This emphasizes how Dany is important, not just her dragons (my comment: it's Ramin's way of saying that this is about Dany's bravery and selflessness, not just her dragons, that Dany is not "nothing without her dragons", which I love).

(Link to the scene)

In Jorah's death scene, the Main Theme of Game of Thrones combines with the theme of heartbreak of Jorah and Dany.

(Link to the scene)