#like i knew they were gonna break up!!!
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Coherent thoughts will come tomorrow. Or wednesday. Or when I'm done crying.
but how DARE they put Arcade over that scene. that is just a personal attack
#like i knew they were gonna break up!!!#i expected it#but that shit HURT#i'm gonna be crying the rest of the week#yr s3 spoilers
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a glass sun 1/2
#my art#my stuff#this is really fucking long so im gonna have to break it up into multiple reblogs#(howling) WAUGHHHHHHH#i love aishang by xiaoshiguniang#i love to implicate my alma mater in my art about being gay in the shittiest most conservative corner of singaporean society#by some terrible trick of fate i ended up in the conservative chinese christian cishet circuit from primary school to end of hs#obviously i am not most of these things but there i was. Depressed#and there i was after that at Liberal Arts College. the 4 years i spent there were a clusterfuck#but like a good and outrageous and lively clusterfuck#and i graduated in may this year and when i came back it was for the first time in 10 months. it was like. what da hell#like i love being here in specific ways but there is also the pain of being seen as something you're not constantly#can i blame them? i ask myself this every day. for most of my ex classmates and relatives i Am the only not cis person they know#idk my lottery number was bad this corner of society really is that bad#and so its like. idk dawg anyway i aint offering solutions but u get it like it fucks with your head to be misgendered either which way 24/#but to leave them behind would be to leave the only people who knew me for the first 19 years behind. and thats a lot of my life#i am 23!!!!!! ough#anyway. whatever. if u liked it i have a ko-fi#reblogos appreciated
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Just got back from seeing Sonic 3 and HOOOOOOLY SHIT y’all. Oh my fucking god. OH my god. Ohhhh my g o d
#IT. WAS. PHENOMENAL. PERFECTION. LITERALLY EVERYTHING I COULD HAVE ASKED FOR#SPOILERS AHEAD IN THE TAGS BEWARE#They gave us Shadow on a motorcycle. Shadow with a GUN. Shadow flexing by POPPING OFF HIS LIMITER RINGS LIKE A BADASS#AND!!! THE MOST GORGEOUS CREATURE I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY GODDAMN LIFE. HOMIE WENT SUPER SHADOW AND HE WAS G L O R I O U S#THE LIGHT FUR…..THE SPARKLES…..THE GLOWINGGGGG!! HE WAS GLOWING!!!!!!#WE GOT LIVE AND LEARN!!!!! WE GOT LIVE AND LEARN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ALSO genuine family bonding? Sonic Team bonding? SONADOW BONDING???#Shadow’s little smiles during the flashbacks with Maria MY GOD I WAS GOING TO BLOW UP.#Shadow did the Akira slide on his bike and I said repeatedly under my breath I’m not a furry I’m not a furry I’m NOT a furry#I’M NOT I SWEAR#I’M JUST A HARDCORE SHADOW GIRLIE#Homie had me swooning tho I WILL NOT LIE!!!#I felt so bad for my friends I was probably insufferable for the entire film I tried SO hard to reign my fangirling back#I squealed and stimmed a LOT. SORRY Y’ALL THE AUTISM LEAPT OUT. THAT WAS BEYOND MY CONTROL#OH AND THE END?????? METAL SONIC??? A M Y??????#I KNEW they were gonna tease Amy I had a feeling#Also also it was so funny as we were walking out of the theater this guy was like ‘TAKE THAT OBAMA!!!’ and waited for an answer#And then he was like okay nobody got that. But then I said ‘I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT!!’ and he started CHEERING LMAOOO#That movie was a religious experience. For ME. I feel like I’ve ascended to heaven#I’m so. Fucking happy right now I’m SO happy it was so good I’m going to cry#I love you Shadow the Hedgehog I love you Sonic the Hedgehog I’m going to break apart literally right now#Also one more BIG thing but I’m putting that in a separate post. Hold on.#Shima speaks#Sonic 3#Sonic#Sonic the Hedgehog#Sonic movie 3#Sonic spoilers
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god i will never stop fawning over how absolutely SPECTACULAR afo vs bakugou was. genuinely one of the best fights in the entire manga in terms of art, the themes, the pararells, the gayness, the fight itself, and just. everything about it makes me wanna scream into my pillow and chew on it
#MIND YOU this was the fight that made me interested in afos character#ugh like i shouldve known bakugou was gonna take on afo ... like i knew him and izuku were gonna take on shigafo#cus of the whole win to save save to win thing#and its perfect for shigafo cus yk!#but i didnt know tomura manage to break free out of afos grasp early on#(which srry tomura for not having faith lol)#but yeah pitting bakugou against the guy was fucking amazing#like theres so much layers to it#like first off making bakugou(and izuku) fulfill the save to win thing by rescuing all might from afo#like how all might did in the kamino arc with bkg but this time bkg didnt'end' all might he was the one who saved him#AND THE FACT THIS WAS FILMED TOO JUST LIKE BEFORE#BAKUGOU WOULD NOT BE KNOW AS THE ONE THAT ENDED ALL MIGHT BUT THE ONE THAT SAVED HIM#AND FUCKK bakugou and afo.......amazing foils seriously#boys with gifted powers but one grew up with almost nothing and the other grew up with love#they both turned out shitty but only one of them actually changed for the better#afo in a way is like bakugou past self. hes fighting on what he couldve been if he let his ego take hold on his mind#and no bakugou did not solely defeat afo himself . and god my boy is so grown he KNOWs if it werent for everyone elses effort#he wouldnt be able to take this bitch down#bakugou i love you so so much#you are such an excellent character fuckkkk#and afo...... well you see what happened to him. fitting end to someone who thought highly of himself#died in a pathetic subpar way. fighting an injured teenage boy lmao#OH AND SAID TEENAGE BOY THAT LOOKS LIKE HIS OLD NEMESIS LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO#ive said this before but bakugou is afos karmic incarnation#i CANNOTTTT wait for volume 40 to drop. possible dawn of quirks era content afo character page (please) and yoichi/kudou colored by hori?#bakugou katsuki#mha all for one#mha manga spoilers#OH AND bakugou telling afo to shut the fuck up!?!?!?!?!?!?!? AND PROCEEDS TO BEAT HIS ASS IN 3 DOUBLE SPREADS????? MY FUCKING GOAT.#dahlia.txt
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No because Sun does not understand what "no" means.
Ongsa said that she didn't want to do the scholarship program with her and Sun took it the worst possible way:
Then Ongsa was upset that Sun just outed not just their relationship but also that she is not straight to her parents, Sun was immediately defensive and made it about her:
But let's also look at not their literally just started relationship.
Sun decided that Aylin gets hugged because "that's what friends do" even though it's very clearly not what Aylin does.
When Ongsa was still "Earth" and Sun asked Earth to meet up she always said it was fine if he couldn't but would become bitter when Earth never showed up.
Sun is so lost in her own self that she should not be in any relationship. She needs to learn to be a partner and listen when her partner expresses a concern or a hurt. Sun doesn't get to decide that someone's reaction to her actions are more painful and worse. She doesn't get to unilaterally decide things about her relationships with people and be upset when people disagree. She loves Ongsa but she sure doesn't like her enough to actually learn anything about her. Like...oh I don't know...how comfortable Ongsa is with being out. Or anything about her relationship with her parents.
It is okay to be ready for different things at different times. It is not okay to decide someone else's readiness for them and be upset when they're not actually there yet.
#23.5#23.5 the series#23.5 series#in case anyone didn't know i am big mad about this#cause like i feel like ongsa and i have similarish home lives#or my home life in high school#my parents were supportive and i knew they were supportive#i knew i could come out and still have a home and still be loved#but i had a lot of internalize biphobia i had to deal with before i was ready to be out to myself let alone my parents#i can't imagine the pain of someone making that decision for me before i was ready#and i had much more of a backbone than ongsa has#next week is going to hurt because sun decided hurting ongsa by outing her wasn't enough#sun perceives her hurt as far more important and bigger so she hurts ongsa further by breaking up with her#and of course it's going to be ongsa that is heartbroken and fights to get the relationship back#when sun should be begging ongsa for a second chance#but we're not gonna get that because the show has already decided that sun can do no wrong
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yOu'Re gOiNg fOr a LiTeR? | "Habs react to Quebec Maple facts", 10.22.24
#guys this is not becoming a regular thing this is just the mental illinois breaking through but ALSO I SAW THIS AND SCREAMEDDDDD#they did this For Me. those are all my guys. like yes yes we know about xhekovský but that’s my adopted austrian son david reinbacher!!!#that’s my baby goalie carey price time travel cowboy son cayden primeau!!!! and i just LOVE that they were like#‘yeah so one of them is gonna be a bitch in both pairs. & yeah we’re gonna make them lose.’ & i am HERE for it. you know the media day vid#where they asked all of them who was brat on the team and like 75% said slaf which we all KNEW? yes. correct. even more evidence godddd#also empathize so much with him because i hate feeling stupid & he is notably like. a very smart guy w/good awareness of broader society#and sorry to get like this on a silly little post i’m about to fanfiction-ify before i have xhekovský hours but so much of this goes back#to the xenophobia in the nhl and how we treat players (not only that. people in north am/west tbh) whose first language is not english#and degrade/discredit them and their intelligence by virtue of their multilingualism and how we even think about multilingualism as a whole#e.g. the sense that certain languages are perceived as more ‘valuable’ capital/the support that SHOULD be there for language learning simpl#is not from what i can tell in the nhl so even if you wanted to foster an environment of intercultural competency they’re doing nothing to#support it. the stories!! of so many guys! reliant solely upon their teammates for basic necessities! WHERE is your language acquisition#programming. sorry the linguistics language and culture attempted to jump out there & i am not conveying what i want to say at ALL. anyway#juraj's slow descent into madness as u can SEE him visibly getting more & more over it & done is my roman empire. like he's having fun#at first he's laughing 'what is this whiskey?' & i AM thinking that toothy little grin at arber with the jerkoff hand motion about the mapl#syrup only taking a few minutes to come (out) was a dig. lord knows arber deserved it with his shorts pulled all the way up like GOD the me#you put here to wear slutty little 3" shorts live in cold CANADA and have to cover up their thigh tattoos. what a travesty. and the amount#of THIGH in this video i- biting. arber's hairy legs slaf's manspreading more as he gets frustrated & arber teases him i. and DAVID????#on a completely different note cayden with his face covered is giving me INTENSE brainworms i have the most unhinged storylines for him#AND THE BRYNDZOVE HALUSKYYYY everything past 2:00 is gold. david's tired sighs. slaf hating it here. arber having the time of his life#'taste' 'that's not an advantage' DAVID kill him. 'maple syrup specialist... normal guy 🤷' slaf you are the WORST loser and ily for it#arber defending his wife w/his life... juraj's the smartest guy in the room & arber's on his leash about it. it goes both ways (to be cont)#juraj slafkovský#arber xhekaj#david reinbacher#cayden primeau#montreal canadiens#i'm xhekovský posting leave me alone i'm also *****
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i was lookin at a few vids about the bg3 dream visitor romance [spoilers if anyone's still early game i guess lol] and like i was so shocked people were, like, so upset and betrayed when they discovered the dream visitor's true form fksdjgkdljf like okay i forgot not every corner of the internet has monsterfuckers and also i guess normies are playing this game. and ALSO it reminded me that the % of players that even have the steam achievement of sleeping w/the emperor at all is so low. 12.7%. why is everyone a coward. i'm not even a self proclaimed monsterfucker. i dont like sex and im mildly phobic of tentacles. WHY IS EVERYONE A COWARD!!!!!
tho to be fair probably a lot of ppl are also romancing a companion and wanna be faithful - ive only gotten to that scene in multiplayer where none of us were in companion romances so it was guilt free go for it see what happens, in the discord call all together LOL..... then we had a lover's spat after the raphael fight 😑
#im p sure you have to become a mindflayer to do his whole romance which i dont wanna but like it's fun to see what happens lol#but also our friend has played further and was heavily biased against the emperor#im like dude no spoilers i wanna make up my mind as we go. im gonna fuck him LOL#3/4 of us did#our friend didnt and then he was like OH WAIT I FORGOT THERES AN ACHIEVEMENT well thats what u get for being a hater i guess#p sure we are going to betray him and break that guy outta there but idk maybe we wont. gotta mix it up see what the vibes are#in the multiplayer game we kinda just let things happen in the moment it's a fun and chaotic time#sometimes we lie. like we lied to raphael. it's fine#and then we tried to lie to the emperor about the fact that we made the deal but i think we rolled bad lol#so he knew and we had to be like IT'S FINE DUDE TRUST ME WHATEVER#anyway my point was i was surprised people werent into his tentacle form i just assumed all sex enjoyers do but#i forgot about the normie allos..........#there was like ONE person in the comments that was like yeah i romance the dream visitor and YES i know 👍#only real person in that comment section i s2g#anyway we havent finished a full playthru yet so idk maybe ill be a hater by the end of it but rn i have fun with him#even tho he was kind of a bitch when we had that latest talk lol he was so shamey about our raphael deal 😒#i think he was mad he couldnt see what we were up to down there like bro give us some space!!!
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Was Archie holding Mallum's phone funny as in the same way he holds his knife?
HE WAS IM SO GLAD THAT WAS CLEAR ‼️ it's also what made Mallum's panicked (and possibly mildly concussed) brain go I KNOW THAT FUCKER
Also you didn't ask but Archie picked it up and stayed close enough to be run into because it was Mallum's phone, he recognized it and was like "hm that doesn't bode well"
#it's not WHY i made him drop it but#a lot of my writing process is coming uo with things that need to happen#and then introducing new elements on the fly#and realizing i can tie them to necessary story beats#in this case:#there were any number of ways i could have resolved the phone situation#have mallum scoop it up on his way out#have one of the twins take it and mallum can yoink it back when he frees himself#make it so he never drops it to begin with#but i knew he was going to run into archie at the end#so i was like oh! archie can have it!#and that gives archie a reason to be nearby beyond sheer coincidence! great!#IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS ABOUT WRITING TBH I LOVE HOW THE STORY COMES TOGETHER IN FRONT OF ME#i didnt know all that was gonna happen!#i didn't know mallum was gonna break elison's nose until i went#'how do i get him out of this?'#and thought back to the line about poetic irony from the beginning of the drabble#and then i was like YESSS EXACTLY WHAT MOLLIE DID TO GET AWAY FROM /HIM/#IT'S SO FUN YOU GUYS I LOVE IT SO MUCH
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>:(
#i need to vent a little im sorry pls ignore this if u are bothered by my thoughts#SH tw !!!!!!#this morning i was supposed to have my weekly therapy session but i had to cancel bc my mom got covid and obviously stayed home from work#and i do online therapy and i didnt feel comfortable doing it with my mom around but i really needed to do it tbh#and then my professor replied to my email with all of the things ive been working on since august and didnt say anything about the material#he just asked to call me on the phone tomorrow and i started to spiral…. like Spiral with a capital s#even now thinking about it my stomach sinks bc i have this feeling that his feedback is going to be negative and i just know my#barely existent self esteem is going to break and idk what im gonna do with myself then#this afternoon while i was spiraling all i wanted to do was /hurt/ myself. i kept thinking that i wasnt good enough and i had done a#horrible job.. so bad that he couldnt even tell me by email but needed to do it on the phone and i felt like throwing up and i couldnt get#/that/ thought out of my head and i could only cry#and all of this not even actually knowing what my professors feed back is going to be because this is just all in my head#but i was talking to my school friends and they were like oh its gonna be fine even if he doesnt like it u can still put the project in ur#portfolio hes not even our professor anymore and so on#and i kept saying that i knew that but i just could not handle that sort of feedback and rejection mentally#i was telling them that i knew i would crumble if i got real negative feedback and i was terrified of that and they just couldnt get it and#idk it made me feel really lonely#im a bit calmer now but i feel so depressed#i am really anticipating something that will hurt really bad
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i started all of these games at wildly different times, took varying levels of breaks partway through each of them, and then finished all of their achievements in the same two days
i don't know what to do with myself now
#buenos dias short people#tunic was like. i played to maybe halfway. took a months long break#when i picked it back up i didnt remember what i was doing so i started a new file and played like a third#months long break. but this time i resumed the second file and played through to the end#the game is very cryptic but starting over gave me a handle on the mechanics and what was important#outer wilds took like four tries even though i knew it would be good i just wasnt hooked#the game is about knowledge even more than tunic like knowledge is the whole deal and it comes slowly at first#but when it hit it really hit. god damn#please play outer wilds#spyro? um. it was good#i don't know that i took any big breaks from it? there were some but a couple weeks at most#spyro levels are not particularly complex. or content rich. and i really felt that 60 hours#playing the whole trilogy all back to back can really burn you out#its a collectathon you're bound to spend a good while just wandering around to find that one last thing you missed#and i didn't know i could left stick for sparx to point out the nearest gems until like halfway through 2 so that was a time waster#im not saying it wasn't a good game but spyros moveset is like. glide fire charge and you do this for three games#until they throw in random nonspyro playable characters in 3 and they all control really bad and weird. but its still mostly spyro#i could have taken big breaks between each game and it would've been better probably but its a collection im gonna roll to the next one
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people are really so weird and so fatphobic huh
(and oops most of my commentary is in the tags XD)
#people really out here acting like some chocolate is gonna kill you#idk maybe you should check how stats and data actually work and not just blindly trust things that get it wrong and such#because hate to break it to ya but increased risk does not equal absolute risk#it just increases the risk which is normally only by a small margin and doesnt mean anything in reality because it doesn't mean that it's#absolutely 100% going to happen that's not what risk or increased risk means#anyway this reminds of when a friend of mine took part in a study#and they were like oh yeah you have a 6% chance of a heart attack in the next 10 years#they asked if they lost weight would that decrease by a lot and the person was like uhh by like 1% it's really not the big deal everyone#makes it out to be people are just fatphobic because that's the society we've built that at all times you must be skinny#or you aren't worth anything or worse when people act like you're such a strain on the system#and that you dont deserve to have healthcare like i will scream#everyone needs to stop being so damn weird about it!!!!!!!!!!#it's literally fine it's so literally fine#you know actually thinking about increased risk with alcohol and smoking - to which is totally your choice and up to you btw#i knew someone who smoked like a chimney and drank like a fish and lived to his 70s and died of something completely unrelated#increased risk is just that increased by a certain percentage which is like not a lot in the grand scheme of things to really put it into#perspective when you have like 1 in 100 chance and the increased risk is 100% that just raises it to 2 in 100 which yes is just 1% to 2%#i will scream when people act like food is going to kill you - especially when it gets so bad people act like fruit is bad for you because#of sugar like i will cry i will start sobbing because all of this is why im pretty sure most people have disordered eating#if not full on eating disorders and that's the real concern how our attitudes make people change their behaviours and develop mental health#conditions because society is just so insistent on this one issue that you can't escape it's bad it's so bad and i hope one day#we get past all this and people can just live how they want without others getting on their backs#fatphobic people are the reason why so many people i know think they're worthless and ugly and i just that's so upsetting to me and yes yes#there's the major issues like doctors ignoring symptoms in favour of just lose weight! and then just send people into the world with 0 help#in that oh and oops now they've got an eating disorder when the problem in the first place was not weight <.<#and even if it was (which it rarely ever is) it's like okay where's the help then because there is no help and then study after study is#like oh btw dieting doesnt work lol and then what do you do what do you do im gonna start screaming hdfghsdfg#anyway sorry these tags are long im just so tired and so frustrated at the world and i hope one day people get over themselves
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Spotify wrapped charts:
tag game: share your top 5 spotify wrapped artists and songs
Thanks for for tagging me @shinwolo
(I'm vv late to the game 😳🫣 but time is an illusion anyway- so enjoy 🥰)
tagging: @amelee23 @jisungshotfirst @proudahgase-exol @astarlightmonbebe (I'm not sure if any of you guys have done this or even have spotify but in case you haven't here you go) you def don't have to if you don't want to tho!
#i will be screaming in the tags hehe#while kebbi already knows how much mx is on my wrapped- its crazy#i listened to 73 different genres & 2739 different songs#but the first time a different artist appears is nct at number 28- and then back to mx- when i say it didnt#start becoming mixed up good- it wasnt until the 70s when we saw diversity in my top song playlist 🫣#60 s area* ehqhahq limbo made the break thru for the rest of the songs to make it into the chart ✊️🤧#also as was pointed out by kebbi was that my songs were symmetrical 🥹#ptg made it at 13 but they are a top artist so it didnt count ehsha#i absolutely sobbed knowing i wasnt going to get a wrapped message from ki & mx 😭 i already knew ptg#wasnt gonna give me one- but ohh i was in tears 😭 i got one from kyun so thats my highlight#i got a svt wallows and dpr . ian one! tho- i didnt care for the wallows message tho#i could really continue screaming tbh but ill chill- thank you sm for tagging me kebbi 🥺💖#idk maybe i dont like kikis music- idk- (literally i have his whole first album in my top 10)
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literally nothing scarier than buying second-hand clothes online. that said, these were the coolest fucking pants i've ever SEEN in my entire life so if there's even a slim chance of them fitting despite being an inch smaller than my waistline it'll be $40 well spent. and if not i'm gonna have to start working out and eating different bc I Will Fit Into These Pants If It Kills Me. and if i can't drop a little bit of weight then i'll make sure they find a good home ig. but i YEARN to wear these so i'm praying they fit 😭
#i had to keep myself from immediately adding to cart and go look at my closet for things i could pair them with#and after i realized i have at least 3 or 4 shirts that would look cute i with and that's not even counting the stuff in the wash you bet#your ASS i bought those puppies. i maybe spent like 10 mins total agonizing on whether or not i would buy em but like... i have the cash to#spare & knew they were gonna get snapped up soon so i decided to break my rule of waiting at least several days before buying smthn i like#i sometimes spend a little more than i should when hypomanic (it's not a Problem it's just a bit annoying) so that's why i got in the habit#of waiting to purchase but i absolutely NEEDED these pants so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it is what it is#len speaks
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screaming myself hoarse til I pass out we were together during a very tumultuous time in our lives I will always have your back and be curious about you about your career your whereabouts!!!
#not about j we're good - about the friend who i haven't shut up about in the 14 years i've been on the hellsite#the fun part is that i know his forever career and his forever whereabouts and it will break my heart into shards for the rest of my life!#and goddamnit we weren't romantically together but instead together as part of a weirdly codependent friend group of four and we were#near identically weird and fucked up emotionally and in our humor and how we spoke and how we meshed and i will NEVER fucking get over it!!#i'm still agog that i sent you a last chance hail mary sort of letter like the lyrics in this song about how i think about you often and#have always believed in you and been rooting for you like all the rest of us who knew you before things got really bad because you were and#are such a fucking incredible person and musician and friend and so smart and creative and LOVABLE! i said that in the letter without#realizing alanis said that in one of THE best lost love songs of all goddamn time!#i wish i could tell you one more time - right now today immediately or better yet five years ago - how i have always loved and admired you#and everything about you. even now. all the way out here in iowa i am still loving you with everything i have in me every single day#knowing i will never speak to or see you again [i think about you all the time but i don't need the same] and i finally started to admit#that to myself and my friends and my therapist in 2021 and i'm more at peace with it than i ever was or thought i could be in 2019 and 2020#but i know it's gonna take my whole lifetime to get a grip on it and accept it. and it'll stop hurting one of these days. i know it will#i don't think i've ever loved a friend as much as I loved you. i think you were the best friend i've ever had#and that's one of the nastiest parts of it - we were good friends and you did seem to like me plenty#but i think i was the w-h-auden_morelovingone.txt by a mile. i was a weird obsessed stage 10 clinger.#and that's surely a large part of the dwelling and the fixation. if things had been more equal then maybe it'd be very different now.#guess i'll die because i sure ain't finding out!!#HELLO LOVES HAVE SOME RICH NUTRITIOUS ANNIE LORE ON THIS FINE FREEZING COLD SUNDAY AFTERNOON!#love letters
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Trigger warning for sh topic in tags, just me rambling, dont read, if you do its at your own risk of wasting your time lol 🙈
#so when i met tyler last saturday i was like...#thinking about making it my goal to not sh for a year or smth#like make a big gesture of going clean#maybe like the next time i meet him i could have been like: i've been clean since you signed my arm!!#but oh boy#i knew in the back of my mind that night that that wouldnt be possible#i was like: well maybe maybe i can just not hurt myself in the primary qay#*way#i couldn't even promise no scars#couldn't promise no blood no bruises#i can't promise shit#and now i'm here like 3 days later already ready to give up#having clear goals makes me wanna go do the exact opposite#makes me want to go worse#not like /actually/ bc if i were to literally break my fingers i couldnt work and as soon as i could i would be working he phone#and nope nopidity nope#thats the last thing im gonna do#ignore me#the sh thoughts are never easy to deal with#tyler has no idea the impact he ever had on me that i actually made it 4 months clean before#that i ever tried#and managed to stay clean#like#i used to be so obsessed i would shake and be unabke to fall asleep and would literally panic that bad things would happen if i didnt sh#and it was through derek hale that i actually attempted to stop the first time#when i was 17#lasted 2 weeks and that was 10 years ago and im not sure i can do 2 weeks anymore again#but it was huge#it's been 16-ish years since i've been clean of physical sh for longer than 4 months#a really bad habit
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started my new job but ngl I’m so depressed lately lol
#Idek why I’m sad#Like I knew we were going to break up but I cut him out a couple days ago and it hasn’t even helped I feel worse then before#idk what to do with myself anymore and I’m gonna be 24 soon living on a couch#god I hate life
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