#like i knew [redacted] was gonna fuck up BUT I DIDNT THINK ITS GO DOWN LIKE THAT

[violet-bridgerton]

ok i feel like no one watches the diplomat but YOOOOO WTF THAT ENDING????,!!,,!

[ahaura]

yellowjackets s2e9 lb

"the wilderness chose" I DONT THINK IT DID BUT OK!!!!

I RECOGNIZE THOSE CHORDS? GUITAR? HELLOOOOOOOO ITS BEEN YEARS

ZOMBIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

ok but like. the wilderness"" might have gotten into them but they CHOSE to do it that way like they CHOSE to let javi drown/freeze to death i think thats more them devolving into "survival on the only way know how to justify it to themselves" mode

also how insane is it that they were all willing to eat natalie 10 minutes ago and theyve all been starving and just like that your team turns on you bec "the wilderness chose' thats nuts

"give it a hunt" is this when my girl lisa dies. i will beat up misty for lisa idc

i dont mean to get personal on main but lottie's desperation...for lack of a better word... reminds me of me when i **** ** **** ***** and at that time i was just. so desperate to believe in [redacted] i was DESPERATE i was so far down i was just clawing at the pit walls like. god.

"make sure none of your people are here for this" NOOOOOO LISA

"we got over it" LIIIIIIIIIIIES

"i didnt want this" "you started this" LETSGOOOOOOO

oh this is so fucked

shauna butchered them... alone... it was her duty.... no wonder shes so fucked up

WALTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

SO GOOD TO SEE HIM

jeff.... the cops.... bleh

NATALIE TRYING TO SAVE LISA BUT WE KNOW HOW THIS GOES

"youre not like them" "im worse" OH NAT NO NO NO NO NO

"im glad im alive" van says to travis whose brother just died because the team is starving and it was supposed to be natalie but misty saved her so javi died in his place and theyre going to eat javi and travis will have to eat his brother to survive. insane people.

"let your brother save you, travis. after everything he went through out here. dont you at least owe him that?" INSANE INSANE INSANE INSANE INSANE INSANE FUCKING THING TO SAY VAN HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT FUCKING CRAZY

walter i likeyou so much please stick around 4 life youre so funny

"youre being awfully judgy about mom considering this all started because of your lame attempt at blackmail" CALLIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE LETS FUCKING GO

i feel so bad for her. her parents suck so fucking bad her mom is fucked up and withheld love from her and doesnt love her like her dead baby brother and her dad is a pathetic dude who is like, trying his best but hes just sO pathetic and not even in a fun way. he has the spirit tho. shes gonna be sSOOOOO fucked up when shes grown up

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAH WALTER YOU LEGEND

walter and misty match made in heaven TBH

OH GOD

JAVI'S LITERAL HEART? OH GOD

is that... buffy sainte marie singing?

I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I CALLED IT KNEW IT LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOO

OH MY GOD? MAYBE CALLIE?

CALLIE OR LISA WHICH IS IT

LET THE COP DIE IN THEIR PLACE DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT

jesus christ

they really never left huh

WALTER TALTERSAL YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING PSYCHO YOU ARE SO MUCH FUN

walter fucking over this smarmy little shit cop is SOOOOOOOOOOOO fun

oh my god lottie

the wilderness left lottie...?

NATALIE????????

IS NATALIE THE ANTLER QUEEN

OH MY GOD THAT INSANE

I LOVE IT

HOLY SHIT

HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!

what is a god to a nonbeliever etc etc oh my GOD NATALIEEEEEE

"you were always its favorite" OH MY GOD???????????/

LISAAAAAAAA MY GIRL LISA LISA LISA LISA

"we tried to kill you and it wouldn't let us"

INSANE INSANE INSANE INSANE INSANE

THE ATHEIST WHO MEETS GOD THE NONBELIEVER THE TRUE RELUCTANT SAINT THE UNWILLING APOSTLE ET CETERA LETS FUCKINGGOOOOOOO?

lottie kissing natalie's hand is insane im goi g insane INSANE INSANE INSANE INSANE

the girls allow javi to die in nat's place (or the wilderness kill him in nat's place) > shauna offers travis javi's heart to eat as first dibs in honor/waiting for permission > travis eats his brother's heart > natalie is named lottie's successor as the unwilling apostle the reluctant saint the cursed etc etc > travis places her hand on his heart

NAT BEING "CHOSEN" ALL THOSE YEARS AGO

NAT THROWING HERSELF IN FRONT OF SOMEONE WHO GAVE HER FORGIVENESS TO SAVE LISA

aaaaaand radiohead to send us off eh?

NAT IS DYING OH GOD

nat :(

WHAT DO YOU EAN WE'LL SEE?

CALLIE???????

COACH TRIED TO BURN THEM ALIVE?

OH I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO HIS DEMISE

[tobacconist]

pretty weird dream just now....

so, i was having like a house party or something, there were ike 20+ people staying at my house. some of em people i knew from school, some of em jus randoms. was having the usual anxiety dream in this situation: oh shit i hope they dont break anything / find any of my shameful secrets

a lot happened i cant remember. i remember some of us were watchin some kind of vhs, like some old kids movie; i remember walking in on a couple fucking (in a bizarre manner) on my parents bed

cant really remember what happened next, only that suddenly the whole house was shaking. i didnt know if it was an earthquake or if people were partying to hard or summat after a while it stops, from here on there was a strange chaotic atmosphere to the dream. i think something had happened and the couple who were fuckin on the bed died or vanished or something. everyone was freaking out, asking me questions cus i was the last to see them. then there was another young couple (who reminded me of redacted) ((who may have been the same one)) who were really freaking out about something an trying to go somewhere. i remember glancing at their phone as they were talking, there was an email from someone like the.magician@andrew.moore.com with hieroglyphs in its address which freaked them out really bad, the girl was having a full on meltdown like ‘we need to get out of here, we need to get out of here hes gonna find us’ the guy left to go do something and i was talking to the girl trying to calm her down. eventually she said like sorry but i really need to leave right now and opened the door and there was a weird light on the ground. i said to her ‘i think the safest place for you rn is inside...’ and she closed the door, then i woke up

[rockfact]

fuck it liveblogging tpoh but putting it in one post so its not annoying (pls read tpoh before reading this post its got so many spoilers) also this is rlly long (http://jolleycomics.com/TPoH/The%20Hook/1)

anyway wow rgb rlly didnt like hero in the beginning eh?

OOOH THIS IS WHERE THE BUTTERFLY COMES FROM I FORGOT IT WAS THIS EARLY

god i love the worldbuilding in this beginning bit like ofc theres lies and doubts and fears like sure!! why not!!! this guys got a tv head!

oh dude rgb dead<3

MADRAS MY BELOVED

"cover ur vents" dude he IS a tv eh. well i know that she takes apart his wiring later but LMAO

rgb hates water<3 i would too if i was a tv. my sona is a tv but has water IN them so... yknow

TOby MY BELOVED HELLOOO

oh yeah the ferrys gone innit

sorry she did what to u TOby??? WHAT???

DIAL HI HI HI HI HI DIAL IL LOVE YOU

i forgot rgb is British. gay little guy who says cheerio and telly

bro her fucking dreams got in his vents oh no

YOOO HIS SUIT CHANGED COLOR AFTER GLITCHING i love this fucking comic

dude she killed that idea OH hi the moth butterfly is back

oh nooo the doubts r here and shes crying nnonoooo

GOD GET HER tHE DOUBTS R GONNA EAT HER ALIVE DAMMIT

OHF UCK THE FEARS ARE BACK AND OH FUCK A GRIEF TOO?!??? FUCK

oh bro the grief fuckin cried on him oh noooo wait isn't this when he goes negative. i think soYEAH IT IS !!! NEGATIVE MY CONFUSING BELOVED

get those fears asses negative wooo !!!! also bye the grief ^_^

oh yeah gotta take him to the tree since he's out of order eh

ASSOK ASSOK ASSOK

oh rgbs outfit changed again. does that when he glitches it seems:) i love it

hero pls just listen to him

assok i LOVE YOUUUU

THE FUCKING TREE MELTED CANT HAVE SHIT IN [whatever this place is called i don't remember rn]

aaand down they go!

OGHHGHH THE IDEA DIAL TOby AND MADRAS ALL SEEING THE TREEEEE YEAHHHHHH

YES THE BIRD I LOVE THE BIRD !!!!

AND MELODY TOO I LOVE THEM BOTH THEYRE GAY <3

poor TOby :(

the fuckin.. god i love this comic. the metaphors for trauma and shit i eat it UP

rgb i love ur puns but please shut up /j

DID SOME FUCKIN SCISSORS COME IN HERE AND CUT OUT THE WIVES ??? WHAT THE FUCK<3 LOOKS COOL AF BUT DIE. WHY ohhh that's why we see them later and they're all wet n shit. the ocean ate them

AWE HERO ILY bye you stinkin butterfly get outta here !!!

OHH I FORGOT HOW COOL THE HEARING IN THE DARK BIT IS !

YES THE MARKET I LOVE THE MARKET I LOVE THE FIGHT SCENE ...

HIS SUIT CHANGD AGAIN CUZ OF THE DIMMING OF HIS BRIGHTNESS I LOVE THIS LORE !!!! ITS SO COOL

wait dial don't u dare throw TOby into the abyss i stg. die dial

oh they rlly are cousins huh. sayin the same thing.. also dial die i hate ur gay little headNNNOOOOOOOO HE DROPPED TOby FUCK YOU DIAL

nooo this is making me sad abt the characters i make and then forget :( i don't want them to be forgotten

CELL ILY

DUDE SHES IRONING HIS FUCKING ARM

god i love hero sm

LMAO RGB GETS HORSESHOES <3

i love the explanations of characters getting outlines n stuff. this is so cooooool

oh goodnight to the market. hi dial fuck you OPH HERES THE WIVES !!

oguh the one sided convo ... spooky

mmmmm don't dream around rgb or no good!! bad !!!! love the bits of lore tho. fuck yeah

oh and his clothes changed again i think! nice!!! i love the suit he's wearing in the recent ones.. really my style

WAHHH HERO LEAVING ASSOK BECAUSE ASSOK WANTS IT.. IM FUCKING. I LOVE HERO SO MUCHHHHHH THEYRE SO NICE... i love this story

this story legit be changing the way i look at other stories . mmm solid outlines my beloved

the fact rgb can just turn up his volume to scream louder<3

AH OFUCK THE DUDES GOT A GUN EH oh yeah his names click. i wonder how many names i can steal from this comic

god rgb so smart :)

click my beloved antagonist

HE JKUST SHOT RGB WHAT THE FUCK. SHOT HIM W REDACTED TOO?::?W AHT THE FUCK CLICK

god i love this bit. hero can shoot him or not. he's muted he cant defend himself. its so good oh my god. rgb accepts it too.. he takes his hat off expecting to die oh my god. i love this bit SO MUCHH

the fuckin.. "what do heroes do to monsters?" "SAVE THEM!" LIKE YEAH HERO I LOV EYOU

n then rgb is banned (rightly but how do they get assok back??) and hero becomes his keeper i love this. i fucking love all the chapters in the market

"did you ever forgive me?" "did you want me to?" "...no" "oh, well, that's too bad" HELLO? WHAT!

ogoh and clicks eye(??) falling into the market.... checkovs gun innit

madras lore yesss

all my homies love the world of make believe :)

ah fuck the trees are gone oh this is fuck

I KNEW SHE GAVE HER FINGERS TRAIN

oooh so rgb was a writer? or a comic artist or something???????? cooool

LMAO NICE TIMING LOSERS

!!! CANDLE RABBIT

idea loose in the market!!

AH FUCK CLICK IS BACK :I KNEW IT

the idea is a fish now! cool. good on it. love this idea

oh TOby finally hit the bottom huh?

this rabbit is so confusing wtf

3 suns????????? rabbit cmon man you put us way too forward wtf!!

ah yeah rgb is broken eh? getting close to the end

SHE FOUND ANOTHER BIT OF THE FUCKING SUN? R U KIDDING ME

MELODYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also lmao julienne melted cuz shes cotton candy :(

LMAO HERO IS MELTING HELP

i love how hero goes from obviously human to ?? that could be a monster!

madras time

fuckers turned off rgbs body cant have shit in make believe

MADRAS NO WHAT DONT LEAVE:(

and they step back!

elastic valley my beloved

i love these pigs sm

hi tg

"because he's *trying*" hero id fuckign die for you

AAAAAAAAAAAND I'm caught up! post time. sorry if u read all of this i have an illness and its called sharing my feelings all the time

[mspbandj]

More on The Mandalorian Season 2 and Why its so Frustrating and Also Why Lucas Film Should Just Hire Me as a Writer Goddman it coz this is My Blog and I have Feelings™

Okay so again, this pertains to the finale of The Mandalorian Season 2 so............ spoiler warning.

Lets talk about Dins face

I feel like that final scene, when [redacted] came in and took Grogu away to train as a Real Jedi rang really hollow. It didnt feel rushed so much, but it just felt really anticlimactic. We all knew it was coming (sure we didn’t know for sure it would be [redacted] but we knew someone was going to come get Grogu) but even with that knowledge, they had real potential to make the scene super emotional and touching, which the final cut just didn’t really have and heres why.

Most of the emotion was supposed to come from Din taking off his helmet to let Grogu see his face. Baby Yoda had never seen his Adopted Dads face before, and this moment was set up to be a really touching moment of connection and vulnerability. But it was dampened by the fact that we had already seen his face, multiple times, and in detail. We the audience. And because of that, we couldn’t relate to what Grogu must have been feeling in that moment. 

Like, for Grogu, that must have been such a Big Deal yk? He’s spent so much time with this man, they’d been through so much together at this point, but he hadn’t even seen his face because of the very strict Mando Creed that Din had been raised under (the cult or not cult thing is a discussion for another time btw.) So this must have been huge for him. For Din to finally make the decision that Grogu was more important than his Creed... thats a huge thing!

But! For us, the audience, Din removing is helmet was old news by now. He’d taken it off twice before (in Season 1 with the droid, and then in Season 2 at the Imperial Stronghold (dont even get me STARTED on that craptastic episode)) so we didn’t have that sense of anticipation or importance. We were very much treated like we werent in that moment with them, and I find that hugely underwhelming.

So here’s how I think it should have gone, because that moment could have been set up perfectly all throughout the series.

Din very much could have taken his helmet off the first time, with the Droid. The whole arc there was about What Makes a Life, and Are Droids Counted as Living Things right? The Mando cult Creed dictates that no other living being can see the face of a Mandalorian (with very very few exceptions, and with death being preferable to being exposed.) And the argument in that moment is that the Droid is a machine and not technically a living thing, even tho it acts and behaves like a living thing, and is capable of the same “emotion” as a human. In the end, the Helmet comes off, and we are left to make up our own minds about whether this is a violation of the Creed or not - that was my take away.

But by allowing us, the audience, to see Dins face also calls into question our own place in the Mandalorian Universe. Are we Living Beings here? Apparently not, according to this we’re not a part of the scene at all, which is a decision I disagree with because, as I said above, it dampens the emotional potential of the entire show. Allowing us to be an exception to the Strict Mandalorian cult Creed limits the use and/or very purpose of the Creed at all.

How I believe that scene should have gone is more like this:

The Is a Droid Alive philosophy is discussed, and as they talk it becomes urgently apparent that the only way to save Din is to take the helmet off and allow the Droid to attend to Dins wounds. We see a close up shot, as we did, of the Helmet being raised, with a cut away at the crucial reveal moment - denying the audience a view of Dins face. The next shot is of the Helmet being laid down beside them, which informs us that Dins face is now definitely fully exposed, but we are not allowed to see it, which confirms our place in the Mandalorian Universe, and gives the sense that we are very much there with them in that moment.

Cut in some extreme close ups of a hair line, a patch of cheek, some disinfectant being administered, with further voice overs of the discussion, and we’re golden. The scene takes on a much more intimate feel, with a heightened sense of anticipation. We get a tease of Will We Ever See Dins Face, and are left with the question of What Will it Take to Make Him Cast Aside His Creed, which is raised in light of the knowledge that a Droid does not count, but we the audience do. We ponder this for a moment and then the next time we see The Mandalorian, hes restored to full armour, and we’re reminded that this is The Goddamn Mandalorian motherfuckers, and hes here to Fuck Shit Up with his Little Green Gremlin Child.

As for the Imperial Terminal WELL

This was a very good opportunity for a second removal, and I definitely think that part was a good choice however the execution of the scene was poor as shit.

Having Din change out of his armour was a good start, it showed us that he was Serious about finding Grogu, and that he was willing to bend the rules and push the boundaries of his Creed without technically breaking it. This was discussed pretty well in the script, so it was a strong start.

Now, again, I dont disagree with the decision to have Din remove the helmet at the terminal in order to complete the face scan and access the information he needed - in fact I agree with that part entirely. Again, is shows us how far Din is willing to go to get Grogu back, and it’s a solid recall to the What Would it Take to Have Din Cast Aside His Creed question from Season 1. Furthermore, it really drives home the fact that Din will get Grogu back at any cost. Its exciting, and emotional, and drives his character development.

So heres how I think it should have gone:

Mayfield makes his attempt, sees his former superior, and turns back. Tells Din that no, it wont work, he cant do it, just as the scene originally goes. Din says no, fuck that, I havent come this far to turn back now, Ill go do it. Mayfield says lol good luck, the terminal needs a face scan for access so have fun with that, Din hesitates, and then very deliberately makes the choice to go - this is all pretty much in the scene.

Where it differs is after the failed face scan when Din still has the helmet on. The Countdown starts, Din hesitates, clearly torn between his Creed and Grogu, and we leave him there. Next shot is of Mayfield in the doorway when he looks over and sees the back of Dins head. We see this too, and we know that holy shit the madman actually did it. Hes *exposed* and his body language tells us he knows this. Maybe throw in an extreme close up of a drop of sweat on his chin, give us a lil glimpse of his bottom lip even, more than we got the first time he took his helmet off, but still not the full thing. Really get that anticipation going, you know?

As soon as Din gets the info, and the officer dude comes over to investigate, we get a half shot of Din turning while simultaneously stuffing his helmet back on his head, and the scene continues as it did. Maybe we see the same section of chin and neck in the process, maybe we dont, but the helmet is firmly back in its place, and so are we. I strongly feel like these events would have ramped up the emotion of the scene and, like i said above, the anticipation. We got closer this time! When will be the next time? Third times the charm right, so we can conclude that the next time he takes his helmet off will be The Big Moment�� so whats it gonna take???

Lets skip to that moment now.

The Final Scene. The Big Reveal. The Reunion, and the Parting of Ways.

Imagine the series went the way I just described. Imagine that in this Final Scene of Season 2, you, personally, had not seen Dins face. You’ve watched this Mandalorian trek and fight and blast his way through the Universe, been there in the room when hes been at this most badass and his most vulnerable. You’ve come so so so close to seeing his face, of seeing him break the Creed he’s clung to for two whole seasons, but you never have. Not yet. And now you’re watching him reunite with Grogu, Baby Yoda, The Kid. The one thing in the entire Universe that Din cares most for. Its a touching and emotional scene, after the fight, after the reveal of [redacted] after it becomes clear that This Is The End.

And then... he reaches up.... is he going to??? is he going to????? HE IS!

He lifts his helmet. Theres no danger, theres no threat, theres no pressure or incentive. This is completely his choice. This is Din, The Mandalorian, raised under the Mandalorian cult Creed, choosing to reveal his face, not only to Grogu, but to everyone in the room, including you.

How much more personal is that? More intimate, more emotional. We get to experience the moment that Grogu, who we all love and care for, is experiencing. We get to feel like we’re in the room. Everyone in that room knows how Strict the Creed is. Sure, the other Mandos dont live by it, but they know what it means to Din, so even they know the sheer significance of this act.

As it is, we the audience dont get to experience this on the same level. We have to think about it after the fact, after we’ve calmed down from the hype. We’ve already seen Dins face, many times, so we dont get that same intimacy. And its a real, real shame.

[tamiddyinyourcity]

WHATS UP FUCKERS, TIME IS AN ILLUSION AND I REALLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT GOES FROM HERE.

4:16pm, are we all gonna die?

Tuesday, March 24th of 2020.

Why do I follow his bro on instagram? I think i did it before, since i thought, "i dont like him, but i like his brother's mustache", so, that seems like reason enough.

Shoutout to whatever his name is, your mustache is rad.

(And of course [redacted] would used the phrase "crossed", to describe betrayal..... lmfao.)

4:20pm, blaze it. I woke up at like 2pm or some shit, (idek i wake up but then do some random shit in bed half asleep and eventually come to,) aaaaand someone is making purses out of the spine of kids with physical disabilities in other countries.

I don't care how goth or rich or edgy someone is, they should get their throat slit for fucking owning it. (Unless it was a Make-a-Wish kid, going 'i hope a rich white lady can carry me on her arm to a red carpet event'...... oh dear.... i dont know whether to cry or slap myself for even thinking that.)

I literally was trying to be sarcastic, i didnt mean for that to actually sound like some sort of tragic ironic twist on what a dying child would ask for. God. Anyway, no, shoot someone on site for wearing this garment.

Or, moreso wearing a dead child on their body in the supermarket. Only a Karen, who relishes off of seeing her kids die from being unvaccinated, and eating the hearts of teenagers in the grocery stores, would proudly strut that.

Or a creepy goth person, like Die Antwoord. They already say 'nigga', and had that blackface music video. I already expect them to be on some nut shit. White people that wear dreads and say the n word, are untrustable. (Dreadlocks are wack, but the n word is when the line is fucking crossed.)

Anyway.

I guess a sign of improvement is that I'm talking about the absurdity of someone wanting to walk down the street or into an event with the spine of a dead child in a third world country; "ethically sourced?????" Slaves were considered ethically sourced, man, but that doesn't make it right? Just because shit is sold, doesnt mean you buy it?

God, this is worse than when people drank water from the San Francisco pier for 50 bucks a slurp. So gross.

Feeling alright, I guess.

Not sure if I feel shame in any previous actions I've done.

Not sure, at all.

I did spend weeks writing that letter and making maybe 90 pages of things I wanted to apologize for.

I'll just tell myself he read it to make myself feel better. Yeah, sure.

.....

I still find it weird that we ended up getting in touch for the New Year? He wasn't really making it easy to move on, with his selfish ass trying to hoard that damn painting when he knew I wanted it for the sole purpose of cutting all ties and to peacefully forget about him, and yes, I'm still fucking annoyed by the way he ignores the principles of shit and would willingly leave me uncomfortable like that,

And I just REALLY wanted to move on, man.

I'm noticing a trend of "Tamia asks for a small thing to officially cut the tie; Patrick refuses, despite knowing that by refusing, he prolongs the conflict instead of burying the hatchet and having me move on from him. Tamia does something reckless and still somehow gets her way."

I don't get it??????? If a girl you clearly want to forget is like "hey can i have back the picture i gave u and i give u back our earrings?", and says its so she can move on peacefully..... rejecting it = oh look, she ends up at your porch, in the time period where she knows youre in a rush, since she knows youre pressed for time, and will try to get it back like the mobsters tried to do Adam Sandler in Uncut Gems

I liked watching that film with him, btw. Even though he smelled like shit, hes a good presence for films.

.....

But, yeah, i honestly didnt expect us to talk after that. All I recall is the panic attack i had later that evening, us talking, a fight.... and then eventually he got super weird, and suggested that we still keep seeing each other.

It was odd. I dont know. There was nothing really sane about the situation... for either person, really.

......

Ugh.

Its really hard to feel good, for any reason. I'm trying. It's raining, and I would go outside for the purpose of FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN, LOOK AT THE BLANK PAGE BEEFORE YOU, OPEN UP THAT DIRTY WINDO-

But, my hair is not relaxed. The second it gets wet or humid, my hair shall completely revert to afro texture. ;(

Aw, shucks.

So I can go out and have a poofy and painfully thick head of hair, or stay inside, nice and dry with shiny silky hair?

Ah, yep.

..........

OH MY GOD I AM SO FUCKIN BORED.

What's there to do, really?

Since what if none of this matters, right? What if I end up dying, and nothing up until now ever mattered?

Thats.... sucky.

Oh look, a nihilist fearing death. How funny, how she last minute cares about what happens in life.

.....

I guess that's why I cared less in the first place right?

Since who cares what boy I give my number to, or what person I curse out? I'd rather die, doing something that made me feel good, than die submissive and subservient to all the bullshit in life.

So, do I really regret anything in my life?

Some things, I don't regret. I just wish they went differently.

Like how I wish that talk we had on the porch had resulted in him being honest with me, and having the talk I desired.

I couldn't control his classic "idc if it helps you in any way, i dont feel like it, so i wont" way of responding to things.

I can only control my actions.

And so, since I truly stopped giving a shit, my action was slapping him in the nose. And I don't feel super bad about it, mainly since he's a fucking asshole. I wish it went differently and that circumstances lead to me doing some DIFFERENT spontaneous and risky action, and not slapping him for being a punk ass. But cest la fuckin vie.

But, would any other action truly change anything? If I just went "fuck it", and had my fuck it moment be to make out with him, would that have lead to anything? Probably not. Since he's just so stubborn....

Whatever.

He's the type to never reach out to a person first, due to his stubbornness and naturally isolating personality. And being blocked prevents me from bothering to contact him.

It's a cross between, "He's making it easier to strongly dislike him and therefore not want to reach him", and "oh my GOD nigga you are annoying answer the phone."

Aaaaaaaa bitch, im tired.

Universe, if you have any attractive and preferably non-assholey/non-fuckboyish/single-but-not-for-a-bad-reason men spare in town, send them my way.

.....

Relationships annoy me and often make me lose my marbles. I see why I'm always hesitant to actually confess feelings for anybody or date them, since the disappointment that comes with finding out the red flags you saw early on, but thought were quirks, would eventually be the reason you hate them? It's not so fun.

(Going from "okay sure he's super naive and will never make a first move and has to be taught everything but hes not really bad right? I like him, and think even as a casual relationship things can work out", to "cool he's yet again running from problems and not letting any information told to him sink in".)

It's just kinda sad.

I never wanted things to go as badly as they have. If things were just as simple as me meeting up with him on a late night, getting some food, checking out the stars, and whatnot.... i would've been happy, you know?

And it sucks, since even after the hot trash can that was January, we almost got to a certain degree of comfort again.

Now I'm just disappointed.

:(

Anyway, I'll be fine.

Better share some good news while I can:

Finally found out the certain flows to a song that I wanted to make.

I'm still present, somewhat not cold, and protected from the rain.

I could fuck anyone

I'm on the right path for the fulfillment of my divine life purpose

Im fly as hell

Alright.

Now, I'm gonna purge my room. It's a mess in there.

The annoying thing is, if my grandmother leaves, I would finally have enough space and room and freedom to do whatever I want without a goddamned problem.

But, rent. And would I have privacy, or would it still be my mother, barging into my bedroom and going through my closet/drawers/more? Would I be allowed to cook and clean or would I still get shunned for being seen outside my bedroom?

And in terms of moving out; do I save every single cent Eli gives me? In the hopes of moving out? Would I even find a place? Or do I spend money, and get trapped here, with these people who I hate?

Fuck.

:)

5:13pm.

Cold Burger King isn't a good thing to eat.

Yay.

I'm gonna try to avoid thinking about the depressing possibility of buying a vibrator or having all this stress just for the chance of dying to loom over us, as well as capitalism.

Peace out.

[what-the-bitch-writing]

i blame [redacted]'s intense fear of clowns for this one.

Request: none

A/N: i made another one because i cant stop thinking about how fucking funny the first one was. this one isn’t as funny and makes absolutely no sense but for some reason i still love it. enjoy.

Warnings: smut stereotypes, clowns, murder, anxiety, anal?, bondage, begging, weird shit

~~~~~~~

Greg was a senior in hs. he couldnt wait for a smexy man to find him. So he went to find one. He walk into library to see someone that looks like the teenage reject member of fall out boy, and instantly thought “i want in his pants.” thats kinda sus but its typical straight white man behavior so were gonna ignore it just like women are expected to. Greg approaches le smol bean “oi, how age are you?” le bean replies with “18”. “Oh shit brah, me too. Thats totally tubuler.” they stand there awkwardy until greg speaks again. “Ur hot. Wanna go back to my place and get ur shit rocked?” “sure” is le bean’s reply.

Thwy go back to gregs appartment and get redy to have really intense smexy man times. Le bean takes off his knee high lace up converse, mismatch socks, black ripped shinny jeans, two flannels, and his cropped tshirt that says “i hate grass”. He also removed his clip on strands of bright red hair. Greg tells le bean to lay on the bed and close his eyes while he gets ready in the bathroom. He agrees. Le bean hears greg come out of the bathroom, and then feels his body hovering on top of him. “Open ur eyes” greg says. Le bean opens his eyes and takes in the full sight of the man in front of him. And loses his fucken shit. He has never seen a more attractive person b4. Le bean knew greg was gonna put on a special outfit, but he didnt think hed be this fucking hot. He slowly reaches up to gregs face and sqeezes his big red honker. He lovingly tangles his fingers in the silky rainbow afro, caressing it gently. Greg pulls a string of handkerchiefs out of nowhere (probably from his ass tbh) and ties le beans hands together. He looks at le bean with lust in hos eyes. “The circus is coming to town” is what he says before going down on le bean.

They go at it for a while and after it seems like theyre all out of feel good juice, greg removes himself from le bean and lays beside him on the bed. Le bean, hands still tied, rolls off the bed and onto the floor. On purpose. But throught the magic of smut doesnt crack his skull open and die. Gerg’s like “what the fuck brah” and le bean’s like “i want you to step on me with your big clown shoes! I want you to almost suffocate me with your big, beautiful feet, and then stop at the last second because you know! In your heart! That clowns are not the vicious killers everyone says they are!” (that sentence brought me so much pain i’m so sorry) “fuck that was hot. Ok yeah ill do it” was gregs response. Greg complys with the mans wishes suffocating him. But greg doesnt stop. Maybe not all clowns are killers, but this one is.

Greg goes to the bathroom and cleans himself up. He glances at the clock and sees that its 11:26pm. He rushes past the lifeless body on the floor and to his computer. He has an essay due in 33 minutes, and he hasnt even fucking started.