#like i have the lando tag muted

[juwaiin]

piastri gaining more positions in races doesn’t mean he’s performing better than norris or more consistently. he’s 13-3 down in quali, you are always going to gain more places if you start further back! norris has consistently outperformed him this season, which is kinda clear from the gaps between them at the end of races - norris has finished more than 20 seconds ahead of him quite a few times this season. piastri’s biggest lead to him was abt 10 seconds and that was when norris didn’t put under the sc at jeddah.

norris is getting team orders because he is the one who has performed well enough and consistently enough to be in the championship fight. oscar hasn’t. simple as that.

the sheet will also show you the positions norris has lost. you gain more positions if you start further back, but you really aren't supposed to lose more positions if you start ahead! norris makes too many errors that cost him positions. simple as that.

and speaking of consistently outperforming,

i personally don't think what norris needs is team orders. what he needs is to perform better- and not just in comparison to oscar. the bulk of his point loss is because of stupid errors and, not to sound like a broken record, but calling for team orders instead of improvement on his end is like slapping a bandaid on an open wound. will it work? maybe. is there a bigger problem that needs to be resolved? absolutely. is it unfair for oscar to be the bandaid at his own expense in this scenario while the gaping wound goes unaddressed? goes without saying!!

go back and read that paragraph three more times because i keep repeating the same notion but i don't know why you have elected to ignore or misinterpret.

everyone hates team orders yadda yadda but most people will shut up when they're justified. in this case, it's unjustified. if you lose positions in 47% of your races, you are not consistent or strong. if you NEED team orders to fight a championship and cannot carry your own weight, you do not deserve it. simple enough i hope.

anyway, please stop sending anon asks about norris jesus fucking christ. it's cowardly and pointless. if you want to share your opinions, you have a blog for that. if you want to have a conversation (and i doubt this is the case :p) dms exist. but i don't think there's a conversation to be had given. vague gesturing. the nature of this exchange

[luvclerc]

Do you think you can do a Lando Norris one where you’re a casual fan of F1 and you meet him through your job? The job can be anything.

can’t keep a secret — ln

synopsis: y/n, singer and model, gets invited to the mclaren garage and there she meets a boy that can’t seem to understand what a secret means.

face claim: rosé from bp

liked by landonorris, yourbestfriend and 4,292,012 others

youruser a huge thank you to @.mclaren for having me at the mclaren garage this weekend. officially a mclaren gal now 🧡

mclaren glad you had a great time, see you at the next grand prix?

yn.nation poor yn going to suffer every grand prix weekend

landonorris we’re most definitely working on those corners next time

liked by youruser

view all 87,928 comments

liked by youruser, danielricciardo and 4,013,983 others

landonorris she no longer drives into the bush

[tagged: youruser]

lnnnn16 the most unexpected duo 👀

youruser only because i had a great teacher 😊

landonorris we still have a few things to work on 😉

yn.nation are they flirting in the comments…

lulusifn does this mean no more sad songs from yn 😢

danielricciardo she’s coming for your seat on the grid

mclaren yn driving at the next grand prix 😎

view all 109,293 comments

landonorris added to their story

liked by yourbestfriend, landonorris, and 4,948,021 others

youruser went out on a date

[tagged: yourbestfriend]

hevrtyn the royal couple

landonorris without me?? 😔

youruser if only you don’t have to drive around in your little orange car this weekend :p

yourbestfriend kids settle down

user1 the obvious flirting they want each other so bad

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liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc and 8,384,091 others

youruser secrets out! if you have a secret don’t tell f1 driver lando norris :)

[tagged: landonorris]

landonorris stoppp i thought the mic was on mute

charles_leclerc he went around the paddock telling everybody he was dating you 🧍🏼

youruser of course he did 😞

landonorris i did not i only told a few people

maxverstappen1 i think he has mini shrine of you in his car

lewishamilton in his golf bag too

yukitsunoda0511 if you look closely at his gaming room during his streams you’ll see one in the corner too

mclaren we were the first ones to ship yn and lando 🙋🏻‍♀️

view all 305,482 comments

liked by danielricciardo, youruser and 8,273,103 others

landonorris i love my gf and for the record i can keep a secret

[tagged: youruser]

danielricciardo yes lando we know you love your gf we hear it every race weekend

youruser my lovieee

liked by landonorris

yn.planet can we see the yn shrine

view all 437,492 comments

[pampushky]

Teaser: My Name Is Brutus (And My Name Means Heavy)

Alpha! Lando Norris/Omega! Lauda! Reader

oooo what's this?? me dropping a juicy little teaser of probably one of my favorite things I've written??

so. this is basically an ABO au with a race engineer & lauda mc, with the wonderful trope of enemies to lovers thrown in, as you will soon see from the scene I'm releasing a bit early.

other things about the fic: slow, and i mean fucking slow, burn. exploration of what disabilities would look like in the ABO world (especially centered around the sense of smell and how that could be considered a disability if someone doesn't have one in a world where most things are communicated by smell), societal pressures about what the ideal alpha/omega/beta should look like to the rest of the world which leads to Lando making assumptions about MC's secondary gender/sex, mentions of past emotional & mental abuse, PTSD, scarring, and worries about self-worth. Oh. and obvious hurt/comfort. But again, and I cannot emphasize this enough. Slow. Fucking. Burn.

uhhh i guess i'll do a tag list too for this so. tell me if you wanna be on that.

“I do have… issues, with the way you run things here,” you scratch your claw into the wood of the table, a low rumble in your throat. The scent blockers you have on are distracting to Lando. He wonders, briefly, what your scent is like, when it’s not so medicinal. “You need more discipline. Less media. It makes you seem… soft.”

“Soft?” Lando leans forward, tilting his head. You look back at him with your constantly blank stare, a slight frown on your lips, icy eyes that challenge even the Lauda death stare. “What do you mean?” You hesitate, looking to Zak and Andrea, who both gesture for you to continue. You then look at Oscar, who bites his lip and makes eye contact with you, and shrugs softly, as if permitting you to say whatever you were about to say.

“....you will take offense to what I’m about to say, I’m warning you.”

“Please, I’ll be fine,” Lando waves it off, grinning lazily. His nose twitches. The heavily medicinal smell of your scent blockers is getting to him. Do you truly need to cover your scent that much? Are you worried that he’ll act aggressively because you’re also an Alpha?

“.... no. You won’t. I’ve seen your interviews.” You say dryly, and fold your arms. Lando balks. 

“I beg you pardon?”

“You don’t take criticism well.”

“I take it just fine!” Lando shoots back, feeling himself starting to get frustrated. Why did you have to wear them? Even if you are an Alpha, the medication provided by the FIA should be more than enough to keep anyone’s tempers from flaring.

“Then you won’t throw a hissy fit when I list out all my problems with the way you work?” 

Your tone is icy. Even. Perfectly calculated. 

“Oh, you know I want to hear about your issues with me,” Lando slams his hands down onto the table, and you just raise an eyebrow at him. He’s down to his undershirt, his fireproofs hanging at his waist as you stare at him. “So say it! Don’t hold back!”

Andrea just massages his temples as Zak looks like he wants to be anywhere else. 

“Only if you don’t throw a tantrum when I’m right.” You state, examining your nails from where you sit, as though this is boring for you. Monotonous and icy-calm. 

Lando hates your voice. Specifically how robotic and monotone it sounds. What little he knows about you— which is as much as the rest of the world, with how private the Lauda family is— is that you apparently have some vocal chord and brain damage. Nothing substantial enough to impede your thought process or the way you speak to make you mute, but enough to have caused the monotonous way you talk. A small enough problem that Lando doesn’t feel like a total dick for what he’s about to say.

“Oh, just fucking say it, you robotic bitch!”

That gets your attention. You pause, slowly bring your hand down, and look at him. With the classic, terrifying Lauda glare. Your eyes pierce his soul, and for a second, just a second, Lando considers apologizing. Tucking his tail between his legs, his ears folded back. But then, he remembers who he is, and he meets your glare with his own, lips drawn back to bare his teeth....

[gay-for-victoria-de-angelis]

Exam Stress - DR3

Note : I am so sorry to the original requester but I somehow managed to delete the original request and lost your account so please comment if it was you who requested this so that I can tag you (I managed to save the request tho so I can still write it and put it on here). I also wanted to add that I am not glorifying anything, please take care of yourselves.

Request: Hey bestie, it’s exams and im literally dying so something with Daniel where the reader is attending races to support cause he just came back and she is tiring herself to death so Danny and other drivers (charles, george and Max) tries to calm her or something like that

Warnings: talk of overworking and burn out, ignoring mental and physical health, forgetting to eat and sleep, panic attack, Max/Charles/Lando being older concerned brothers.

Word count: 1608 words

!NOT PROOF READ!

I knew that I should tell Danny. I knew. But he was really stressed with racing and everything that I didn’t want to worry him. I thought I had been doing a good job of hiding the stress I was under and Acting like I wasn’t always on the verge of breaking down. I spent my time studying non-stop and then travelling to races from time to time to avoid suspicion. That soon became harder when Daniel and the other drivers started to beg me to come to more. The media had become suspicious as well but I had been muting notifications and ignoring the media. I eventually gave in and agreed to go to more races. Spending the two weeks leading up to my flight worrying about how I was going to balance studying and the races.

Two weeks later, I was on the flight out, quickly sending Danny a quick text saying that I was about to take off and that I loved him, turning my phone off before he responded. I needed to focus on studying as much as possible before the race. When I got off the plane, I turned my phone back on and responded to Danny, telling him I would be out in a couple minutes.

As I walked out of the gate, I saw Daniel looking around for me, frowning. His expression quickly changed when we locked eye contact and his beautiful smile formed on his face. The sight of his smile made me forget my worries, if only briefly. He rushed over to me and hugged me tight before kissing me hard. When he pulled away, I murmured a quiet ‘I love you’ to him before arguing with him over taking my bags, eventually letting him take them - despite my protests.

When we got to the hotel, Daniel opened the door and placed my bags down, watching concerned as I went to grab my laptop and sit on the bed to do work. “Don’t you want to shower and take a nap?” He asked but I just shook my head and said I had work to do. Danny came and sat down next to me, softly taking my laptop from me, ignoring my protests. “You need to rest.” he stated, taking in the bags under my eyes and the weight I had lost from forgetting to eat. “Please?” he added when I didn’t respond. I just nodded and let him turn on the shower for me, eventually leaving me to shower - sensing I wasn’t in the mood for him to shower with me.

I knew I was in there a while but I just couldn’t bring myself to get out, standing under the water and staring at the wall. When I finally managed to gather the energy to get out, I heard Daniel on the phone talking to someone.

“I can tell there's something going on with her but I don’t know what.” I paused my movements. Crap. He could tell something was wrong. I couldn’t hear the other person on the phone but as I worried about him finding out, I blocked out the conversation until I heard him hang up. “Thanks Max, will do.” I quickly finished drying myself off and started to brush my teeth as he walked into the bathroom.

“Hey honey.” Danny said as he walked in. I spit out my toothpaste and said hi back, leaning into his touch as he hugged me. “How about we order in and watch a movie in bed?” he asked, looking down at me. I bit my lip, contemplating as I still have a lot of work to do. It seemed as if he could read my mind when he said that I should take a break from work so I agreed, to avoid suspicion. He seemed surprised by my lack of resistance and smiled before walking out to grab me my pyjamas. I said a quick thank you and moisturised before changing.

“What do you say about Italian?” Daniel asked, looking at his phone for places.

“Sure.” I responded, not feeling that hungry but wanting to make Danny happy. He looked up as I walked in but quickly shifted and moved the covers back to allow me to get in. I curled into his side as he wrapped his arm around me, grabbing the TV remote and choosing one of our favourite movies.

When I woke up the next day, Daniel was gone but he had left a message saying he was at the track and looked forward to seeing me there. After getting ready I decided to use the time I had left to do more work. The test was later in the day, my teacher was letting me do it online, and we would be getting results back the next day. I knew I had gotten distracted when I got a call from Max asking where I was. “Shit I got distracted, I’m on my way now.” I said as I grabbed my bag, pulling on my shoes and running down to my car.

As I pulled into a parking space and walked quickly towards the red bull paddock, I was surrounded by reporters and photographers asking questions and taking pictures. It was all overwhelming but I ignored them and continued to walk quickly into the paddock. When I reached the building, Daniel greeted me, hugging me tight before pulling away and scanning me to make sure I wasn’t hurt. “Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yep, just a little overwhelmed from reporters and all them.” He sighed and hugged me again before allowing me to find somewhere to sit to watch as the saturday practice session started. I spent most of the time revising and doing work so that I was prepared for my test.

When it ended, I quickly put away my laptop as to not alert Danny or Max. Daniel ran over to me, hugging me as it had gone well today. I hugged him back with a smile as he planted a kiss on the top of my head. “We’ll go home soon yeah?” he said and I nodded before he walked away.

The first thing I did when I woke up the next day was check for my exam results. They hadn’t been uploaded yet. Due to the fact that I had woken up earlier than usual, Danny was awake but still in bed. He took my phone from me gently and made me lie back down, pulling my body into his. “You did amazing okay? Let’s get something to eat and go to the paddock yeah?” I sighed and nodded, laying there for a couple more minutes before we both had to get up. We got ready and went to a small café for breakfast. I managed to eat the small amount I had ordered, Daniel asking if I was still hungry but I just shook my head no.

As we made our way into the paddock, Danny had a tight grip on my hand, reassuring me as he knew how the reporters and photographers that frequented made me anxious. The race went well for him and Max and after debrief I waited in his drivers room as he showered and changed. I wanted to check my exam results but Daniel, Max and Charles had forced me to promise that I wouldn’t. We met up with Max and Charles as we walked out, agreeing to go to dinner with them later.

When we got back to the hotel room, I could finally check my results. Daniel was in the bathroom when I checked them.

30%.

I couldn’t understand how I did so badly. I spent weeks revising non-stop, not eating or sleeping to make sure I covered everything. Which I did. I was so engulfed in my thoughts that I didn’t realise that Daniel had walked out and seen me panicking. He quickly rushed over, taking the phone from my hands before pulling me into a hug and sending a message to Charles, Lando and Max. He held me as I cried, comforting me. About five minutes later, Charles, Max and Lando showed up at the door, letting themselves in with the key Danny had given them.

I had calmed down enough by then to show them my results and they sat down, looking at my phone, giving me sympathetic looks. They asked if I wanted to talk about it but I just shook my head. I laid down on top of Danny as we all watched a show until Max paused it. I looked over, confused as he sat up.

“We need to talk about what’s been going on.” Everyone else sat up as they looked at me. I just looked down at my lap. “Y/n. You’ve stressed yourself out so much with this exam that you haven’t been eating or sleeping enough.” I continued to just look down until Daniel gently grabbed my chin to look at them. Lando then spoke up, “We’ve been talking and we know now that you’re going to have to retake the test and we think that you should be monitored for now. Not in a hypervigilant way…”

“But we want you to either eat with us or tell us what you’ve eaten and we know that Daniel will know if you’ve slept enough.” Charles finished.

“You also shouldn’t be doing more than a couple hours of revision a day okay?” Daniel said and I just nodded quietly. “I love you.” Danny said, planting a soft kiss on my lips.

“I love you too.” I responded as we laid back down again.

[happyself]

I am so happy that @wishful-soda tagged me in this cause it's been a while since I've done something like ♥ So thank you darling ♥

1. Why did you choose your url?

So I've made my url this because before it was Audeself ( my nickname + yourself ) and then I decide to change it to happyself when I was in a period of my life that I needed a reminder to try my best to be happy so happy + yourself, it's like a little reminder everyday that I should try my best to be happy.

2. Any side blogs?

I have a sideblog called @happyselves where you can find all my writing

3. How long have you been on Tumblr?

I start tumblr back in 2012 I've had a couple of blog that I don't have anymore

4. Do you have a queue tag?

No I don't because I rarely tag anything under the post I reblog

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

My first blog was for a kpop group and my currently one used to be just for stuff I like, I hadn't planned to turn it into fll f1 but I fell in a hole !!

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Well because I love Lando, he is m favorite driver and this picture is just so pretty and fit well with my blog

7. Why did you choose your header?

My favorite team being Mclaren, and my favorite 2 drivers bein Lando and Daniel I wanted a nice picture and mclaren delivers the perfect one recently ♥

8. What's your post with the most notes?

On this one ? One where I share my opinion on something that I find unfair, I don't know which one it is and it has been a while but yeah it's probably one of this one

9. How many mutuals do you have?

Mutuals ... mhhhh how am I supose to know that, I guess a lot and I like them all ♥

10. How many followers do you have?

On this one 475 and on the writing one 468 :)

11. How many people do you follow?

535 !!

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

When do I not make shitpost that I think are garbage ?

14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog?

A fight never, a small argument when I had different opinion yes it happened once but it was always respectful, just explaining each others opinion trying to understand the others that's it.

15. How do you feel about "you need to reblog this" posts?

Listen I hate them ... I'm a hyper sensitive person, guilt is deeply inked in my dna and that's not fair

16. Do you like tag games?

I love them so much, but sometimes there is some that came and I'm all excited but forgot to do :/

17. Do you like ask games?

Yes I love interesting on asks and all but generally I don't receive anything .. which is super sad :/

18. Which one of your moots do you think is Tumblr famous?

For me @acollectionofficsandshit @wishful-soda and @towhomitmayconcernf1 are famous, I didn't choice it's my mind !!

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

Maybe I do I can't even tell I have friendly crush like I have some person I follow or mute that I would love to interact more with and know better and be friends !!

So I guess I have to tag a few people so let's put @danielricciardhoes , @norizzioo @scotlynaurora @landoavocado @profoundlynerdywolf and everyone that wants to do it, just tell that I tagged you it's okay ♥

[kyloreyorgana]

STAR WARS 9 ! TROS SPOILERS !

In case this is not obvious enough, this post will contain SPOILERS for the last Star Wars movie, which I’m just now coming home from. These are my first thoughts. I have tried to tag as best I could so that people who mute the tags don’t see my post. Do not proceed f you don’t want to read any spoilers.

You have been warned. Long (and I mean LONG) post ahead.

First of all, I’m happy to be back y’all! Just with TLJ, I come from months (or has it been years already ?) of inactivity to jump right back into the fandom, as obsessed as I was back when I came home from TFA. Which is funny because at the time TFA came out, I had lost all interest in Star Wars and heard so many critics from people who’d seen it and said it was horrible and that Disney basically sold the franchise to the devil that I didn’t even want to see it, to keep the good memories closer to my heart. One night, one month after its theatrical release, I thought “aw fuck I might as well see it, at least for Carrie, Mark and Harrisson” so I went to the cheap theater that was near my home... I had zero expectation, and really I think it’s the reason why I loved the movie so much. I didn’t chose to ship Reylo, this ship whacked me like Harley Quinn’s oversized hammer with the Hades and Persephone aesthetics. When I came out, completely mesmerized with what I had just seen, I jumped on Tumblr as soon as I got home, and I ended up creating this blog just days later. I wanted more and more, fics, metas, fanarts, headcannons, theories, cracks, I could never get enough. For TLJ and TROS, I had lost most interest in the fanfics and the fandom (because as much as I love the movies and some people in the fandom, most of it can eat shit as far as I’m concerned). I heard so many critics of TROS already, I was afraid I was going to be disappointed. But I loved it. Only Star Wars can make me go from utterly uninterested to “Wow I can’t wait to see this new Star Wars in theater, what a time to be alive”, to a stage of total obsession that lasts for months. And that is the reason why I don’t give two shits about anyone disliking the movies. It’s sad you didn’t like them, but it made me feel the same way I felt right back when I was a child watching the original movies with my father. It feels like home. And that is the best thing I could ask for.

Like in TLJ, I cried as soon as I heard the first note of the opening. The last Skywalker story, the last time I ever see my Space Mommy on the big screen...

I know the Reylo community is about to be nuts. The whole movie, like TLJ before it, is basically a series of things we’ve already done in fics and theories. I am 100% positive I have read a fic where Rey and Ren try to hold back a ship with the Force and Rey ends up involuntarily shooting lightning. Whichever one of you did it is probably going to have a stroke in the theater. I nearly did.

And really, I wish I could see the look on the Antis’ faces when they see the movie. I’m sure it is a sight to behold. I wanted to scream “TAKE THAT, BITCHES” more than once. As in TLJ.

My biggest fear was what they would do with Leia. I knew Disney said they wouldn’t use CGI and chose to stick with the scenes Carrie had already shot, and I was afraid it wouldn’t honor Leia’s legacy. Well I... have mixed feelings. While the way they used Carrie’s scenes and made it look like she really is here is to be lauded, it sometimes feels like Leia had nothing interesting to say but they tried to put her in a dialogue anyway, because she needed to be seen doing (or rather, saying) something in the Resistance. And about her death... I still can’t put my finger on what exactly I didn’t like about it but I felt like something was missing. Watching the scene, at first I didn’t know if she was having a heart attack or if she stabbed herself or chose to give up her life because she somehow felt it was the moment, I’m still not sure just why she did what she did. I wish they put something more to motivate her decision and explain what exactly she does. I don’t know, a flashback of Leia holding baby Ben, a little more dialogue, something. Not just Leia suddenly getting up and going to bed whispering her son’s name. 

I knew I was going to be disappointed. Among all the celebrities’ deaths, Carrie’s is the one that affected me the most, and believe me I was a wreck when Bowie passed. I miss her, I think about her every single day. And Leia deserved more, much more. When I saw TFA, part of the reason why I loved the movie was that, even though it pained my heart that Han and Leia’s son turned out this way, I thought they would make it right. I spent hours imagining a scene in the 9th movie where Ren would defeat Rey (incapacitate her the Skywalker style cutting her hand or something) and approach to give the killing blow, and Leia would enter the scene, pick up Rey’s lightsaber, look her son dead in the eye and say “Over my dead body, son”. Because Leia would never give up without a fight, even with her son. And she would get her son back, and her story arc would have been completed. I would have paid good money to see this. 

Episode 9 was supposed to be Leia’s movie, just like ep. 7 was Han’s and ep. 8 was Luke’s. When Carrie died, I knew it would be compromised and it broke my heart, because Leia deserved better. She lost everything. Her parents, her planet, her father, her husband, her son, her brother, the Rebellion, the Resistance, everything. She fought all the way, all her life even faced with the worst odds she never gave up hope, she inspired hundreds of people to keep fighting for what is right, and she would never have a satisfactory ending. What a fucking heartbreak. She didn’t even get to see Lando. Leia deserved more. Every little girl in this world who grew up with her as a role model deserved more. But c’est la vie, as we say in French... My only solace is that I know fanfics and fanarts are going to make me feel a little better about it.

Of course I cried every time I saw her on screen, and especially when they honored her body, as we all honored Carrie when she passed away. This was one of the many fanservice moments, and surely the one I liked the most, although there was some concurrence (more to it later).

Another thing I didn’t like is what they did to Poe’s character. Many people disliked TLJ because of it, which they attributed to a political agenda of hate on men. This is so ridiculous and has already been debated enough that I won’t get into it. I did like the evolution of his character in TLJ, because for me it was an interesting character development as well as a good message: wartime is not only about barging in fights head first, shoot first think later, as is, let’s be honest, everything Anakin ever does. At one point, the narrative of the reckless hero who saves the day when a situation seems impossible and everyone begs him not to do it gets old. Sometimes in war, you have to think ahead, to plot, and yes, listen to what your allies have to say. And it actually was a good critic of toxic masculinity. Could the conflict between Poe and Holdo have been avoided with minimally sane conversation ? YES. But the message was here (as were Holdo’s hair and dress and WOW gurl) and I thought that was it, and Poe would evolve into a wiser person.

But this Poe is, at least in the first half of the movie, not very likable. Hear me, I never really liked Han Solo (never been into macho men) but I really loved Poe in TFA because he was genuinely nice and brave. Here, he’s bitter and annoying. I told myself that he was jealous of Rey because he heard of Finn’s crush on her and he wanted to keep Finn all for himself, which I know is just a crack headcannon, but hey, anything to make it better I guess.

Of course, I’ll never forgive Disney for not making FinnPoe a thing, when even Oscar Isaac ships them hard. And trying to make Poe flirt with the other girl (whose name I even forgot and whose face we didn’t even see, now tell me again how Star Wars has been corrupted by feminists... sigh)  Speaking of, it is me or did two women kiss at the end ? 

I liked the new droid, it reminded me of my puppy. But at the end, it was just another fanservice moment, it didn’t really do anything useful onscreen apart from being cute and funny.

When Rey was finally revealed to be a Palpatine as I hoped, I giggled like a wee girl. Watching TFA, I begged the old gods and the new that they wouldn’t make her another Skywalker, because it would’ve spoiled the Star Wars spirit for me. The whole franchise, in my opinion, is a story about fighting for what you believe is right, no matter who you or your parents are or where you come from. Even though Luke and Leia’s ended up being Vader’s children, they weren’t the only meaningful characters. Anakin was basically a Space Jesus and went from a total nobody to the Chosen One. I didn’t want Rey to be a Skywalker because it would mean that your importance would only ever lay in your bloodline, and that is depressing and totally against the spirit of the Rebellion/Resistance: no matter who you are, you can fight for what is right. For this reason, I wished for Rey to be either a real nobody or Palpatine’s granddaughter, which is also why I liked the fact that Han and Leia’s son turned out bad, even though it made me sad for them (Leia didn’t deserve this). No matter your bloodline, you can always make things right, or fuck up badly if you let yourself be taken away. And, of course, the reveal that Rey and Kylo Ren are two sides of the same coin (aka one of the many times where I picture us Reylos screaming CALLED IT in our seats) was exactly what I hoped for, a beautiful balance. I didn’t share Palpatine’s implication that a Palpatine and a Skywalker are meant to work together, though. That is not how I choose to interpret this duality. That is not what they end up doing, anyway.

Speaking of that old pal Patine, seeing the trailers I feared I would feel nauseated that they chose to reanimate the Big Old Villain, just like they reanimated the Even Bigger Death Star in TFA (how lazy can you be ?). But I enjoyed it. What saved it was Palpatine’s will to be killed by Rey to perpetuate the Sith rite of passage. I don’t even care if it’s cannon or not. I was afraid they would recreate Vader’s dilemma in ROTJ with Rey, but I liked the choices she made. And the throne scene worked for me. Like the rest of the movie it was flawed, for instance we don’t even get an explanation on how he survived. Just like we don’t even get what Finn wanted to tell Rey, even though it was emphasized several times. Was it a love declaration ? What happened to the rushed romance with Rose in TLJ ? (What happened to Rose, actually). While we’re at it, why did Palpatine want Ren to kill Rey ? So many questions. So many flaws.

And, of course I cannot comment this film without mentioning my sweet star-crossed lovers, Rey and Ben. First, I’m really eager to see your reactions. We did it, Reylos! Years of hate and slander and we were right all along. Let’s rejoice.

I like Rey’s evolution. For the moment, I don’t feel like I have too much to say about it (which is fine because this post is way too long already). I like the way she handles her emotions, I like her choices and her character evolution. 

And Ben. Oh, sweet Ben. Although I think the part where he gets his old mask fixed wasn’t necessary, I kinda like what they did with him as well. I must say though that I liked his hair in TFA better.  Oh boy, I loved Kylo Ren but I absolutely adore Ben Solo. And I think the way the movie depicts him even surpasses some fics. The moment when Rey gives him the lightsaber and he gets up and does the Han shrug  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  I almost lost my mind. This ties with the hommage to Leia’s body as my favorite fanservice moment.

And their relationship... Look, I know I wet my pants really enjoyed myself in TLJ when they held hands, but that scene felt rushed even for me who ships them with the force of a thousand suns. Like many things in TLJ (and, as I said, also in TROS) it felt like things I had already seen in fanfics, but in the fics I enjoyed the most Rey had tried to kill him at least 5 mores times before even agreeing to have a one-on-one conversation with him. Their romance in TLJ felt like it was hormone-driven, but I get Johnson couldn’t really do a slow burn in 2 hours. When Leia died and they both felt it in the Force, I could feel that Rey wanted to touch him, to confort him, to grieve with him. I’m glad she didn’t. It wasn’t time. And I really like that she told him she wanted to hold Ben’s hand, not his. And Ben, the Dork Knight, finally realized that if he wanted The Girl, he shouldn’t, you know, threaten her and chase her but get back to the Light Side like she begged him multiple times. Because he really isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer, this is apparently what makes him choose to tip over. That or the fact she saved his life. I was still frustrated by Leia’s death so I don’t know if I’m not entirely convinced because it happened just after, I’d have to watch it again. I liked Han’s moment, though.

And in my opinion, Rey and Ren’s fight on the wreck of the Death Star is as good as Anakin and Obi-Wan’s. My Reylo heart will always have a special place for their couple fight in TLJ (aka the best non-sex sex scene in cinema, don’t @ me) but I also liked this fight in light of their relation. Surprisingly, it reminded me more of their fight at the end of TFA, when we see Ren holding his blows and Rey barging in. I thought it was endearing.

The end. Oh my god, the end. I can’t wait to see the first gifs and I really really can’t wait for the HD gifs, because oh boy, I now only live for Ben Solo’s smile. That’s it, I found my will to live, my depression is cured. And the way he handles Rey’s body with the utmost care (while Finn apparently watches it and does or says nothing). And that kiss... And the SMILE. And the KISS. 

Oh, dear gods. Oh dear.

I can’t wait for the first fics in which Ben doesn’t die and they live happily ever after on Tatooine or Naboo or wherever they damn want. Or the fics where he is indeed dead and they still share a beautiful relationship (if Force Ghost Luke could get his X-Wing out of the water, I’m eager to imagine what Ben would do with his Force dick, tongue and fingers. Forgive me, it’s getting late and I’m still flustered thinking of their kiss)

And the fact that she declares herself a Skywalker ? I know a lot of people are disappointed in this, but apart from the fact that she completely deserves the title in my opinion when she inherited the will of both Luke and Leia, which is reason enough, she is absolutely married to Ben and deserves her place in that family. Also, it’s again a beautiful way to remind you that bloodlines don’t matter as much as what we choose to do with our lives. And while I’m glad they showed Leia’s Force ghost (I would’ve been really mad if they didn’t) I’m super frustrated they didn’t show Ben’s. What am I to believe, that he gave his life for her, became one with the Force and vanished into litteral nothingness for him to never be seen again ? Like hell I don’t. Again, counting on the fics and arts to right this wrong.

The movie sure has its flaws, and I still have many unanswered questions, like what the fuck is the badge Maz gives Chewie, or how Rey does her lightsaber staff at the end, and I wish they explained some things better. I wasn’t sure if the saber Leia wanted Rey to have was hers or her mother’s. Most of those questions will be answered by bigger geeks than me in this fandom, so I really can’t wait to read from y’all.

I know a whole lot of people are going to hate the movie. The antis, the gatekeeping trve fans (already I’ve seen people say that those who enjoyed the movies are not Real Star Wars Fans and welp, we’re going to see a lot of shit). The manbabies who genuinely believe in a feminist takeover and see equality as a direct threat. I’m specifically happy they will be disappointed while I got the privilege of enjoying Star Wars as much as I did. It’s not my fault, or Disney’s fault even, that they turned out to be on the Empire’s side. And the day has not come when I defend a megacorporation. 

Leia was the first SJW. The Resistance lives on. People will always fight against evil, like it or not. I know the world is a shitty place and we don’t have much hope nowadays for things to get better, and Star Wars has always motivated me to keep going and stick to my values and my convictions. I felt chills several times in the movie, like at the end where everyone comes to fight, and now I’m more willing to keep fighting than ever. For Leia.

Godspeed, Rebels! 

[lundgaard]

tag game (thanks so much to every one of you who tagged me, love you guys @callumilott @f-1-stuff @sleepyverstappens @lovingtheleclerc @k-raikkonen @italianoaussiepapi @landofnorris @lando-4 @marcus-armstrongg @notascandinavian )

Rules of the game: Answer these questions and tag 10 blogs you’d like to know better!

nickname: don't have one

zodiac: cancer

height: 174 cm

time: 11:50 pm

favorite band/artist: 5 Seconds of Summer

song stuck in my head: it might be you from tootsie ost

last movie i saw: pride and prejudice (for the 30th time lmao)

last thing i googled: facebook video downloader

other blogs: right... main: @hobbitthair (used to be 5sos themed, now mostly personal with sprinklings of dnp) sims 4 blog: @newbrokensims and a bunch of others that i dont use as much for things like videogames and tv shows

why this username: bc im the main max hoe on here lets be real

following: 727

average amount of sleep: about 7 hours

lucky number: 4 / 44 (sorry lewis copyright)

what I'm wearing: giant tshirt i sleep in

dream job: I'm happy with my current one

dream trips: IRELAND! scandinavia! anything with cool weather and mountains really

favorite food: dude. roast chicken. thats all ya girl needs

instruments i play: guitar and a tiny bit piano

eye colour: green with a hint of hazel

hair colour: really dark brown

aesthetic: way too much. to list a few: the shade under trees on gloomy rainy days, all black clothes, window seats, early morning sun shining through blades of grass, muted colours, blue twilight in winter, bridges in foggy weather, i could go on for ages

languages i speak: russian, english, a lil bit of dutch

most iconic song: i honestly wouldn't know

random fact: i was born beyond the arctic circle lol

not tagging anyone specific cause i feel like yall already did it but if you haven't and want to, say i tagged you ❤

[gondalsqueen]

Chapters: 15/17 Fandom: Star Wars: Rebels Rating: Explicit Warnings: Major Character Death Relationships: Kanan Jarrus/Hera Syndulla, Ketsu Onyo/Sabine Wren, Alexsandr Kallus/Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios Characters: Hera Syndulla, C1-10P | Chopper, Original Characters, Kanan Jarrus, Ezra Bridger, Sabine Wren, Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios, Alexsandr Kallus, CT-7567 | Rex, Mart Mattin, Wedge Antilles, Ketsu Onyo, Jacen Syndulla, Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa, Ackbar (Star Wars), Lando Calrissian, Jan Dodonna Additional Tags: Pregnancy, vague mentions of abortion, future character death in the background, Season/Series 04, Established Relationship, Oral Sex, Chair Sex, Table Sex, sex during pregnancy, chapter 2 has lots of sex, Secrets, the best pilot in the galaxy, flying combat, character injury, canon torture, flight of the defender, rebel assault, Jedi Night, Major character death - Freeform, Grief, Morning Sickness, Counseling, Masturbation, Dreams, Traditions, Space family, Inappropriate bets, Lothal, Shopping, down time, Space Combat, Battle of Scarif, Rogue One - Freeform, hammerhead corvette!, Yavin 4, Stardust - Freeform, Alderaan, Death Star, labor, Childbirth, domestic life, Lothwolves, Dogfight - Freeform, Hoth, did i mention babies yet?, Babies!, One baby, Work/Life Balance, Advice, Bounty Hunters, Capture, this story has it all apparently, Return of the Jedi, Second Death Star, Existential Anxiety, parenting, Breakups, wine and cheesecake, wine and cheesecake needs its own tag, battle of endor, Battle for Coruscant, forces of destiny: an imperial feast, The New Republic - Freeform

... “LANDO CALRISSIAN?!” “Hera, shh!” “You want to tell me how in the seven hells LANDO CALRISSIAN ended up leading this attack, Gial?” 

“You weren’t here.” 

“I was coming, and you knew it!” 

“And yet.” 

“No, don’t feed me that ‘your dedication to the Alliance’ crap, Gial, you of all people—” “—General Syndulla, if you’ll step into the briefing room with me…” She glowered at him. Gial Ackbar nodded his head towards the room—please.  “Oh, all right, fine.” Hera sighed in exasperation and let him hold the door for her. Old school Ackbar, still. “Calrissian is NOT leading the attack,” Ackbar told her as soon as the door shut. “Good.” “I am.” Hera considered. “They gave you all the cruisers?” “Yes.” She considered some more. “All right, that’s fair.” 

“I’m so very glad you think so,” he told her dryly. “But if you seriously think I’m taking orders from Calrissian—” “If I tell you to, you will.” Karabast. He knew her too well. “Yes, of course I will.” 

“Lando Calrissian is leading Gold, Red, Gray, and Green squadrons, and he will spearhead the run on the Death Star’s reactor.” 

Hera tried not to feel cheated. Again. “He’s a good pilot, huh?” 

“Yes, he is. And he has the Millenium Falcon, which is a good ship. But I want you to look at something, since you missed the briefing.” He dialed up the plans for the half-completed battle station on the table display. “Here is the run.” A dotted blue line. “Here is the target.” A green circle. “Do you see this?” “That shaft is big enough to fit two freighters, side-by-side.” “Yes.” “That target is the size of a corvette.” “Yes.” “So...we get people in there and it’s not hard.” “As you see.” “Hmm.” “We have given you a command, General. In the field, as ever.” “I’m interested.” The blue and green disappeared, and a new green spot lit the entrance to the tunnel. “This is where we begin the run on the Death Star’s reactor. If we can’t get pilots in there and keep them protected once they enter, we can’t complete the mission.” Oh. Hera tried not to grin. “You want me to guard the entrance.” “You and four squadrons. Can you do it?” 

She considered. Shooting down TIE fighters was her specialty. It would be difficult not to miss any in a pitched battle, a real challenge, but she could do it. Shooting them down while staying in one area and not getting blown to bits, herself… Now that was a worthy task. “Yeah,” she said. “It’s good.” “We finally get to attack a Death Star.” “I can’t believe they named it the same thing again.” “This from a galactic empire that decided ‘Death Star’ was a good name in the first place.” “Yes, I suppose that puts it into perspective.” “Don’t you have a transport called ‘Phantom 2?’” “Let’s not quibble, Gial.” 

...

Hera saw Rex off at the flight deck. “You be careful,” she told him. “Watch out for those kids, and don’t let them do anything dumb.” He hugged her so hard she thought her ribs would crack. “All I have to do is hide behind some trees, General. You keep up the fancy fighting, okay?” “Born for it.” “Yeah.” He grinned, a wry thing. “Me, too.” 

Rex boarded the Tydirium and Hera watched, waiting for it to leave. “General Syndulla!” a voice called from behind her. “Hey, Hera!” Lando, of all people. “Calrissian, how did we get so lucky as to end up with you?” 

He ignored her tone, as ever. “Eh, you know how it is. I’ve got some good business interests, some good friends…” 

“No. Friends, you?” 

“I’m as surprised as you are! Speaking of friends—” he clapped her on the shoulder— “I was sorry to hear about Kanan.” Hera blinked. That had been five years ago.Then, putting on his particular brand of smarmy sympathy, he asked her, “How has your sex life recovered?” It was so unexpected, and so Lando, that she burst out laughing. “Classified!” she told him. “And you will never have the clearance.” “Ah, well, a man can dream.” 

He’d changed, but not that much. It hadn’t been a pick-up line, though—just a joke to make her feel better, something naughty and unexpected amidst a long list of sincerity and platitudes. The Tydirium’s engines hummed to life and they watched it take off, Lando uncharacteristically silent as it went. 

“Your friends are in there?” Hera asked. “They are.” “Mine too.” 

…

Space battles typically didn’t last long. One side blew the other up (or EVERYBODY blew up), and then it was done. Endor was the longest combat flight of Hera’s life.

The Alliance fleet jumped into...a LOT of Star Destroyers. And the Death Star itself, looming as large as a moon. She’d forgotten how big those thing were. Get in fast, she thought. Finish this job before they can scramble all of their forces. “All wings, report in,” she called. “Phoenix Squadron, standing by.” 

“Orange Squadron, standing by.” “Blue Squadron, standing by.” “Yellow Squadron, standing by.” 

“Phoenix and Orange,” she called. “We’re going to beeline for that Death Star. Blue, Yellow, you’re flanking. Keep Imperial fighters off all squadrons and keep us moving.” 

“Copy, Phoenix Leader.” 

“Commence run.” Even now alarms were sounding in all those Star Destroyers, on-duty pilots donning helmets and climbing into their fighters, the rest scrambling into their gear. They wouldn’t encounter the onslaught of TIEs for a few minutes, though. She muted the comm. “Chop, what do you read on that thing?” 

He grumbled a negative. 

Hera frowned. “You have NO readings? Not even static from interference?”

Nothing. That didn’t make any sense. “You’re sure you would be able to tell if they were jamming us?” Unless the Empire had invented some completely new method of scrambling signals, he could tell. Unless they... Of course they’d invented a new method. She unmuted the comm, but Lando’s voice was already calling, “Break off the attack! That shield is still up.”  

“You heard him!” Hera called. “About face!” She pulled the Ghost up sharp, watching in relief as the fighters behind her followed suit. She muted the comm again. “Great, Chop. Now what?” 

Ackbar’s voice, “We have enemy ships in sector 47!” Oh. That was what. “Do we have a plan for getting that shield down, or is this just for fun?” Hera asked. “Han will have that shield down. Fly pretty, Phoenix Leader.” Fly pretty. He had some nerve. But Rex was on the strike team too, after all, and she remembered throwing fighters at a blockade, trusting her own people to take care of the planetary defenses. Okay, Hera. Keep your pilots alive and buy them time to work down there. “All right, you heard him. Engage those TIE fighters. Chase them away from the cruisers. Stick with your wingman and force them to fight two-on-two. Make your skill count.” A chorus of “yes, sirs” sounded over the comm. She knew every one of those voices. “May the Force be with you,” Ackbar said. Oh, it will, Hera thought. Then five TIEs came at her all at once, and she and Mart dove right into the middle of them, rendering them unable to shoot lest they be caught in their own crossfire. Wedge Antilles led Red Squadron by moments after they’d dispatched the group, howling like a krayt dragon and having way too much fun. Hera and Mart waited until the X-wings had passed, then caught the TIES that were chasing them. Some of them, anyway. Several of the remainder peeled off and came after Phoenix Squadron. Skill, not luck, Hera reminded herself. Skill, not luck. Take it slow and wait for your chance. Don’t make stupid mistakes. You’ve got a long time. Outfly them. And then it was nothing but the melding of instinct and analysis that was combat, flying in her zone, keeping an eye all around her, keeping the other eye on the shape of the battle as a whole.

Until the Death Star started blowing things up.

“Get the cruisers out of range!” Hera screamed into the command channel. All the other squadron leaders were saying the same thing, a cacophony of voices. The fighters could avoid fixed beams like that one, but the bigger ships were toast. “Home One, get out of there!”

“Break off the attack.” Even now, Ackbar sounded steady and measured.

“We won’t get another chance,” Lando argued. “Han will have that shield down, we’ve just got to give him more time.”

He was right. Fight now or lose...just like always. “Back the cruisers out of range; the fighters will engage,” she argued. That thing could blow up a planet, huh? Let them get frustrated trying to pick off fighters one by one. Meanwhile, she could bounce TIES off the surface of the big ships for a while.

Lando was thinking the same thing. “Move in as close as you can and engage those Star Destroyers at point-blank range!” Yeah, that would work.

“Hey, Gold Leader,” she said. “You want to stay and dance?” “I knew you couldn’t resist me forever, Phoenix Leader.”

“Yeah, yeah, you keep those delusions. You’re going to need them.” She shot two TIEs out of her way and sped towards the Star Destroyers. “You take the six Destroyers on the left, Gold Leader. We’ll take the six on the right.”

“Phoenix leader, I like your style.”

“I’ve picked up one!” Dek called, panic in his voice. “He’s got a lock on me.” “Serra, get on it!” Serra shot the threatening TIE out of the air without even slowing down. A moment later she caught an ion blast right in the fuel port and exploded before she could even call for help. “Stay alive!” Hera yelled. “Your only job right now is to keep each other alive until the shield goes down!” She flew a tight loop around the Star Destroyer’s communications tower and lost the TIE fighter on her tail when it cut the corner too close and crashed against the dish. Then she and Mart ran straight at each other, picking off the fighters on the other’s tail as they went. He wiggled his s-foils as he made the close pass over her, pilot-speak for “Hi, there.” She laughed, but all this was minutiae. They’d never take out all of the TIEs, and she hadn’t gotten in any good hits on the Destroyers. Then one of Green Squadron went down, crashing into the foredeck of a Venator class ship and sending it right into a Super Star Destroyer. Not the way she wanted to take those things out.

She lost four more in quick succession, good pilots, her pilots. That was enough to spook a team, turn their luck. “You’re doing great,” she told them, voice as soothing as she could make it. “We’re hanging in there.”

Ackbar made the call—Hera and the rest of her team were too busy to notice. “The shield is down. Commence attack on the Death Star’s main reactor.” Oh, thank the Force, she thought. “You heard the Admiral,” she called. “Same plan as before. Blue Squadron, Yellow Squadron, you’re on flank. Keep us steady on the sides. Phoenix, Orange, straight through the middle. Clear out a path for the strike team.” No more playing the long game. Now it was all about speed. “Wedge, 0.7!” she warned. Her voice was beginning to go hoarse. Well, at this point, both speed and stamina. Guess you’re thankful for those double-shift practices now, kids, she thought.  

“I’m going in,” Lando called. His copilot added something and Lando translated: “Here goes nothing.” Then the Falcon disappeared breakneck speed into the half-finished maintenance tunnel, two X-wings following it in.

“Close the gap,” Hera yelled. Her people moved in but those blasted TIEs were too FAST, and four of them slipped by before she could get a lock on them. She took out the fifth and sixth without wasting a shot. “Gold Leader, you’ve got four hostiles on your tail!” “You guys taking a nap out there, Phoenix Leader?” “I believe your exact words were, ‘I won’t do anything you wouldn’t do,’ so just take them out!”

This was the hard part, though. They flew a pattern, one squad guarding the entrance while everybody else kept the ships off of them, but the entire Imperial fleet was headed her way now, and Hera could tell the difference between “poor odds” and “impossible.” She was losing people left and right, trying to coordinate whose shields were maintaining and whose were gone. 

“Fly really, really fast in there, Gold Leader!”

Wedge was with him. That should help. “We aren’t exactly stopping for caf, Phoenix Leader!”

She moved so quickly the only thing she remembered about this part later was trying not to die. They heard nothing from the team in the reactor for five long minutes—five minutes was a death sentence in combat terms. Then:

“We got it!” Lando’s voice was pitched so high she barely recognized it. “Phoenix Leader, we got it! Get those fighters clear, we’re coming out!”

“You heard the man, go go go go go go go!” She was expecting to lose even more on the way out, but the Imperial pilots must have gotten a clue when the Rebels started running, and it was as if everyone together had agreed to make a break for it.

She didn’t see the explosion, though the light from its blast behind her nearly blinded her and the concussion knocked the Ghost head over heels. Hera went with the roll, using her ion engines to steer away from other ships until she’d ridden the shock wave out. When she looked back, she saw nothing but glowing particles and heard nothing but a collective, triumphant roar that had her wondering if her ears had gone as well as her voice. They’d done it. They’d done it.

She didn’t learn until later that both the Emperor and Vader had died with the Death Star.

…

They worked through fifteen hours, rounding up enemy combatants and patrolling the forest moon before pilots were allowed to take shifts. During that time they acquired a hundred and seven TIE fighters and a Star Destroyer, and Hera began to fantasize about flying one of those TIEs again. Then she came off duty, landing the Ghost just beyond the Ewok village and hitting the comm button before she’d gotten on the ground.

Sabine didn’t answer. She tried a second time and got a touseled-haired version of her friend with lines from the sheet still pressed into her face. “We won we won we did it!” she shouted as soon as the image appeared. Behind her, Chopper beeped a string of expletive-laden excitement.

“What? Hera! Are you okay?”

“Yes! We won!” 

“Slow down. I can’t understand you. Are you all right? What do you need?”

Hera took a deep breath. “Is Jace asleep?”

“Yeah.” “Go wake him up.”

“...Okay, but you so owe me.”

Five minutes later Sabine reappeared with a mostly asleep Jacen, who perked up when he saw her. “Hi, Mama! Hi, Chopper!”

“Okay,” Sabine said. “Go ahead.” “We destroyed the Death Star,” she said calmly and slowly.

“YEAH! “Woo!” Jace and Sabine high-fived. “The Emperor and Vader are both gone.” “Gone?” Sabine asked.

Chopper tweeted a distinct ha-ha. “D-E-A-D.”

“Dead,” Jacen translated with a disturbing level of satisfaction.

Sabine clapped her hands over her mouth in delight. “The majority of the Imperial fleet destroyed or appropriated.” A small squeak from behind Sabine’s hands. “There’s still plenty of clean-up to do, but we’re expecting a formal surrender from most of the Moffs within hours. We won, you guys. The whole war. We won.” Jacen whooped. Sabine picked him up and twirled him around, then swung him into her arms and kept spinning. “We won! We won!”

She watched them flip out for a solid two minutes and wondered how much her son was going to learn about fireworks tonight. Then they calmed enough to talk to her and Jace turned an eager face to the holocam. “Mama, can you come home now?” 

She winced, but only on the inside. “Not yet, love. We’ve got to finish making things safe.”

“Well, how long is it going to take to make things safe?” “I don’t know, baby.  A few weeks? We’re close now.” Not safe—she wasn’t naive enough to think that they’d fixed everything—but this triumph was more than she’d expected to see within her lifetime. She’d take it, and offer it to a four-year-old as a win.

“Hey—” Sabine attempted to distract Jacen, “—your mom just beat the Emperor. You want to help celebrate?”

“Yeah!” Walk it back, Sabine, Hera thought. He’s going to be telling everyone that I beat the Emperor from here on out. In an instant she realized: With the Emperor gone, so was the galaxy-wide ban on Jedi.

“Hey, Hera,” Sabine grinned at her. “We’re going to break the news to Lothal. It’s not classified or anything, is it?”

“Certainly not! They probably already have a report.”   “Okay, then. Talk to you in the morning. WE LOVE YOU!” “We love you! I love you, Mama!” Jace chorused, all smiles. She laughed. “I love you guys, too.” “Okay, bye! LOVE YOU BYE!” “Bye, buddy.”

Hera switched off the holo, put her face in her hands and thought, I’m going to do it. I’m going to do it. I’m really going to make a better galaxy for him.

Then the comm beeped again—Han Solo—and Chopper gave her a skeptical whistle.

“Of course I’m going to give him the ration bars. I just want to make him sweat for a while first. Here, watch this.”

…

“A few weeks,” she’d told them. Hera didn’t make it back to Lothal for four months. After Endor they rode on momentum, running through Onderon, Corellia, Duros, supporting dozens of worlds in their own rebellions. Mandalore liberated itself, which had been a long time coming, anyway. Hera provided the air support for Ryloth’s Resistance, wincing in embarrassment as her father demanded to know when she was going to bring that sweet baby to see him again—right as they flew in and strafed the AT-ATs that had his forces pinned down. Then they destroyed the remainder of the Imperial fleet at Akiva. She commed Lothal whenever she could, setting aside extra time on Jacen’s birthday. When he appeared in hologram that day he was distracted, running onto camera still talking at someone over his shoulder. “Say hi to your Mom,” Sabine’s voice advised.   “Hi, Mama! I’m having a party.”

“Wow! Right now?” “No, tomorrow, but you should SEE the balloons Sabine’s doing. They have these things on the inside—”

Sabine’s face appeared, cutting Jacen off. “They’re safe,” she explained hastily. Then she gave him the “shh,” look.

“Who is invited to your party?”

“My friends from school.” Jacen had long been in school on Lothal at that point, happy and popular if often in trouble with his teachers. (“Jacen is outgoing and sweet, a good friend to all,” she recited his last report to herself. “He is ahead of his age group in all academic subjects. For next quarter, we will work on listening to his teachers and making good judgments about when to exercise caution.” She could have written it herself.) “They’re all bringing me presents,” he added. Ah, the important part. “Did you get my presents?” Hera asked.

“Yeah, but I liked the tooka game and the Luke Skywalker toy better than the clothes.”

“Fair enough. Luke still your favorite?”

“Ye-eah. Me and my friends, we’re going to play Jedi today, though.” “Lothal is crazy about its Jedi,” Sabine put in quickly. I didn’t tell him anything, her tone meant. “What are you learning in school?” Hera asked.

“I learned grav-ball!” Never anything about history or engineering or math. All games and friends. She didn’t really mind that—it was so different from her own early childhood. “Oh, and I learned a song for my music program. It’s about ‘hey, little lothcat.’” He launched into it and sang the whole thing to her. “I’ll record the performance for you,” Sabine promised.

“Thanks. Hey, Jacen Syndulla,” she said.

“What?” “You are five years old today. What’s your favorite color?”

“Green! Or yellow.” “Fair enough. What’s your favorite food?” “Ice cream with meiloorun sugar sauce on top.” “What’s your favorite thing to do?”

“Watch Battle Droids and play fight with my friends. But we don’t get in trouble, Mama.” “If you say so. What do you want to be when you grow up?”

“A Jedi!” Kriff. Hera took a deep breath and told herself not to worry.

“Or a pilot or a teacher or an artist. Or maybe this guy who has a pet rancor and he goes around eating up bad guys with his rancor. And then he lets kids ride it, but it doesn’t eat them unless they’re mean.”

Whew. That was...somehow a less disturbing answer. What did her level of relief say about her parenting?

Jacen turned again and chattered with somebody off-screen. “Do I need to let you guys go?” Hera asked. “Yeah, I think so, for now,” Sabine told her. “The first cake blew u— Uhm, it didn’t turn out great. We’re going to buy a new one.” “I really will be back soon.”

“He’s happy, Hera. He misses you, and I am pissed off that I’m not in the fight on Mandalore right now, but we’re okay.” “Soon.”

“Jace, come back here and say goodbye to your mom!” “Bye, Mama!”

“Bye, love.”

After his holo disappeared she thought: I am just like my father. Then she put her head down and sobbed in guilt and self-pity. Chopper was rearranging some crates in the cargo bay, and she thought she had the cockpit to herself, so she didn’t pull herself together until she heard footsteps on the ladder. When Rex poked his head through the hatch she was still mopping her face guiltily.  

“Hey— hey— General— There’s no cause for that; we’re the conquering heroes.” “I know.” “Today’s Jacen’s birthday, huh?”

She nodded, then burst out crying again in spite of herself. “I’m RUINING him, Rex.” “Hera, I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.” “I’m not even there. He knows I’m somewhere in danger. I can’t even bother to make his school performance.” “He’s, what? Four? I’m sure there will be other school performances. I doubt his life is ruined.”

But Hera shook her head. If he stayed on Lothal, he was happy and safe in a society that adored him. And without her. When she came back she’d scoop him up and they’d be off to whatever child-unfriendly outpost came next. “I don’t want to do to him what… I don’t want him to grow up to be like me.” “That’s because you’re an idiot, General.”

She wiped the handkerchief across her face angrily. “You unhappy with the galaxy?” he asked.

She shook her head. “Everything you’ve been through? You’re still out here fighting and believing in us, still happy to be alive? We should all grow up to be like you.” “That’s...incredibly nice, Rex, but you don’t really know me.”

“With all due respect, General, maybe YOU don’t really know you.” They took Coruscant the next week with so much support from its citizens that Hera was able to leave and await a new posting.

She returned to Jacen and Sabine as a General of the New Republic.