#like i have an outline right

[get-caitjinxed]

staying up too late working on the next chapter of YHTG... fellas does your own writing ever fucking Get You

[themeraldee]

Okay hear me out: to get Homelander really into the Vought Christmas spirit, you teasingly promise that you’ll always kiss him under the mistletoe no matter when or where. Of course, you’re picturing around his apartment or perhaps in an empty hallway. But no. Our boy loves a good promise and decides to carry a piece of mistletoe on him at all times, waving it above him whenever he decides he wants a kiss: in the middle of a meeting with the Seven? Sits back in his chair and waves it around like a bell. In the middle of a crowded elevator? Oh yeah, he pulls it out and clears his throat to get your attention and waits for his smooch. He’s such a dick about but you can’t bring yourself to give a fuck and will happily kiss him whenever he wants 😌

| 600 | Homelander x gn!Reader | Established Relationship. Fluff. Suggestive themes but nothing happens. Mistletoe kisses.

“Here, really?” You were giddy when you left the penthouse this morning, already high with the feeling of a hundred kisses descended upon your lips. Homelander shook the mistletoe right over the two of you right as you left for work. Knowing you had many more to come left you excited.

Now that you’re standing in the elevator, not so much. You quickly look around to note how many people are looking your way.

“You promised~” He says in a sing-songy tone, already way too drunk on this power you’ve presented on a silver platter. Taught to have zero shame, he’s not-so-patiently waiting for you to do your part.

You lean in for a short and quick peck and like the asshole he is, he asks for more. “Oh come on, that’s not very jolly of you.” You kiss him again, enough to temporarily tame his hunger for you and he relents with a pleased hum.

This whole setup puts Homelander in a great mood. A rare occurrence for the Vought tower employees. There’s a pep in his step with you on his arm, he’s whistling and boisterously exclaiming ‘Merry Christmas’ to any passerby. Of course, it’s less about spreading the Christmas cheer and a whole lot more about bragging.

But after the kind of Christmases he’s had, both corporate-washed and soulless, you can’t fault him for it. So you let him have it. However annoying he manages to be. 

In the middle of a meeting with the Seven, he whistles you over with a significant little shake to the wrapped bundle. Although it’s pretty embarrassing to kiss the head of the table while other people are talking he doesn’t relent and you still smooch his kiss-red lips for over a hundredth time today. 

You’d think you’d get annoyed by the shit-eating grin he throws you each time with a side of suggestive eyebrows yet you love him too much to care about how obnoxious the two of you are being. It’s starting to take the PDA levels to ones you’ve never seen from him before.

Nowhere is safe. Homelander doesn’t shy away from sneaking into a meeting you’re presenting in. Disrupting your speech and leaving you flustered and distracted for the rest of the hour. He kisses you in the halfway, by the printer, in the break room and by the coffee machine.

With the lead up to Christmas you’re really gonna need to invest in some heavy supply of chapstick.

When you finally find some peace and quiet in your office, you still smile when you see the door opening. Although the public kisses are fun, you much rather prefer indulging in private where nobody is there to watch the two of you get utterly lost in each other.

“Still haven’t had enough?” You crack a smile and lean back in your office chair.

“Of you? Nah, never.” Homelander walks toward you, you see the little bunch of mistletoe that at this point has really been through it. You start to get up at the sight of it but instead he wiggles his gloved finger in front of you.

You watch as he places the mistletoe right above his belt and you burst out laughing. “Leave it to you to make a cute Christmas tradition perverse.”

“Hey, it was your idea. I’m just playing by your rules. Kiss under the mistletoe, remember?”

“Yeah, I remember.”

And well, who are you to take this newfound joy of Christmas away from him.

[bandaidfingers]

Happy Star Wars Day!

I went insane with this Metal Bikini Han Solo collage last month >:o) I’ve doodled him in the infamous metal bikini in the past, but decided it was time I dedicate myself to a real quality illustration of it. Enjoy! Lol

nine bazillion process pics under the cut

[askblueandviolet]

I need to see the spider demons please 😭🙏

MASTER POST

Asks Start 💙💜

Previous 💙💜

Next 💙💜

[fisheito]

everyone gets a turn in the ridiculous skintight edmondsuit. or at least, .everyone SHOULD

[dawnthefluffyduck]

feeling of being watched

[thegreatyin]

current fallen london fandom experience feels like im standing at the corner of a party holding a sippy cup going. i thought firmament has been pretty fun and intriguing so far

[rotshop]

the testament to mach pipeline is real and it'll get you

[ rbs much appreciated , please send regretevator reqs im begging ]

[sevensinswithin]

Okay so to everyone who was here for the original post, here’s basically how Alicent and Laenor get married in my lavender marriage au:

The entire thing starts because Alicent catches Laenor and Joffrey fucking in a secluded part of the castle a few weeks before Aemma dies. The boys only realize they’ve been caught because Alicent runs away from them like her ass is on fire. That girl had no idea gay male sex was an option in life and now needs to reevaluate everything in her life after catching them.

Laenor then spends the next few weeks trying to find a way to get her alone because guess what. Fucking in a secluded but also public area is not a good strategy if you want to keep your gay love affair a secret. So now Laenor is hoping to convince Alicent to stay quiet about what she saw because his dad seems to think he'll grow out of it (do not attack me, this literally happens in canon) and he doesn’t want anyone to know yet since it might impact who he’ll get married to eventually. Meanwhile Alicent is desperately trying to forget that she ever saw anything and doesn’t tell Otto about seeing Laenor and Joffrey because let's be real. This man said “childhood companions” like it was a slur in that one scene, so she knows that her father would do something with this information. Alicent does not want to be the reason Joffrey and Laenor are in trouble for their relationship. Nevermind that she’s suddenly having the realization that women liking women isn’t that far of a stretch after all.

Unfortunately, to everyone else in the world, it looks like Laenor is trying to court her and that Alicent is just trying to be very polite about his interest in her since she never wants to be alone in a room with him unless they’re around other people. Which is something that is totally normal and not weird at all. Why would you say otherwise?

Then Aemma dies and Otto sends her to see Viserys in his room and Alicent is now very stressed about something else in her life because she wants to do what her father says, but she also doesn’t want to betray Rhaenyra.

So during those six months after Aemma dies - which is apparently how much times passes between Aemma’s death and when Viserys decides to marry Alicent according to a HOTD article I read - Alicent, like in canon, is sent by her father to Viserys’ chambers and desperately hopes that her father’s ambitions won’t happen and that Viserys will simply see her as person that is supporting him in his grief.

(Life Hack: If you ever want to read an article and it says you have to make an account to read the rest of it, just go back to the google page you found it on, right click the link, and save the link as an HTML document. That lets you read the article without having to make an account. I found this out from someone on the internet and damn did it help when I wanted to access any account restricted article. Anyways, back to the plot.)

So to counteract that and make it so she’s less appealing to Viserys, Alicent always mentions Laenor and how fond of him she is during their talks. She also mentions how worried she is about Rhaenyra and her position as heir because there seems to be so many people that seem to be under the impression that they can replace her by having Viserys marry one of their daughters and convince him change his heir to one of the possible children he might have with those daughters.

Meanwhile, Laenor is absolutely losing his mind because all of a sudden Alicent is always around him and receptive to interacting with him, even though literally weeks before she avoided being around him like the plague. During this she also manages to wring out of him the fact that his parents (mainly Corlys, let's be real) are talking about potentially marrying Laena to Viserys and that he hates that idea as she’s way too young in his eyes for that. Eventually Alicent manages to find a way to be alone with Laenor and make him swear to secrecy about what she'll tell him because telling anyone might mean that his sister will actually have to marry Viserys. He does and she fills him in on what her father wants and what she’s attempting to do, and that she needs his cooperation to get him to at least appear like they’re courting.

So Alicent and Laenor put up the appearance that they’re at least attracted to each other to get people talking, which totally doesn’t ignite jealousy in Rhaenyra at the idea of Alicent being in love with her cousin. Cue Rhaenyra absolutely doing everything in her power to make Laenor appear like a loser to Alicent and the rest of the court. Alicent makes sure to get her to stop that shit real quick and tells Rhaenyra that she and Laenor are only pretending to be in love in order to avoid having to marry someone that would disrespect Laenor’s preference for men and disregard Alicent’s autonomy. Alicent also mentions that possibly marrying Laenor means that Alicent and Rhaenyra will be allowed to see each other very frequently as she will be Laenor’s wife and the Velaryons are often at court since they are related to the royal family. So now they have Rhaenyra on board.

Eventually the night before that one small council meeting where in canon Viserys announces that he’ll marry Alicent, Alicent “confesses” to Viserys that she’s in love with Laenor and that she wants to marry him, but that her father would never allow Alicent to marry Laenor because he and Lord Corlys dislike each other. She also lets it “slip” that Otto is very adamant that Viserys must have a male heir despite the fact that Rhaenyra has already been made heir, and that he sees Alicent as a potential bride for Viserys despite her unwillingness to marry her best friend’s father. She also sprinkles in the fact that Rhaenyra would be devastated at the idea of her father remarrying, especially if the bride in question were her best friend or even her little cousin (Yeah fuck you Corlys, you’re on thin ice for that and the grow out of it comment), and the fact that surely his wife would want him to defend his daughter’s claim to the Iron Throne from potential usurpers, which is something that would definitely happen if he had a son.

This causes Viserys to absolutely lose his shit, but Alicent calms him down and he sends her away from his chambers. However, not before Viserys hints that he would not dissolve a marriage between a highborn lady and lord if they eloped and consummated the marriage. So instead of heading straight to her rooms, Alicent instead books it to Laenor’s chambers. The two of them run off to a sept and convince a septon to marry them with a few commoners as their witnesses because they can’t take any nobles in fear of being stopped (and to also have the commoners spread the fact that Alicent and Laenor eloped). Then she and Laenor head off to Laenor’s chambers to consummate the marriage with the help of Joffrey, who they had stay in Laenor’s chambers so that no one would get him in trouble or notice that he was in the room with them during the consummation, and to have Alicent stay over so that people could catch them together in the morning and spread the news of her “ruined reputation”.

The next morning Laena bursts into Laenor’s chambers like she always does and “catches” them before running off to tell Rhaenys the way all little siblings do. So then Rhaenys and Corlys show up, as does Otto; he caught wind of the situation through a servant he paid off to spy on the Velaryons. Once there Otto starts shaming Alicent about her ruined reputation and Laenor retorts that she didn’t ruin anything as he married her before he bedded her. Otto then explodes at the pair when Laenor says that and Corlys rushes to defend his son against all the stuff Otto is saying and threatening him with.

Eventually their argument gets so loud that a servant rushes to get Viserys and a few guards since they’re afraid that the two lords will resort to violence. Trailing after them is Rhaenyra and the Small Council, as the meeting was supposed to start half an hour ago but certain people were missing and needed to be found. So now the entire Small Council, Rhaneyra, and Viserys are at the doorway of Laenor’s room while a furious Otto and Corlys trade insults. Meanwhile Rhaenys sees how afraid Alicent and Laenor are and rushes to the pair’s defense (because they need someone in their corner that isn’t shaming the other party), saying that perhaps the two wouldn’t have resorted to eloping if Otto and Corlys weren't always at odds. Seeing the King, Otto rushes to demand that he have the septon reverse the marriage, but Viserys reveals that he knows about Otto’s plan to make Alicent marry him and how he knows that she wished to marry Laenor instead. He then fires Otto from being Hand and sends him packing to Oldtown, approving of Laenor and Alicent’s marriage as a final insult to Otto. He also firmly informs the small council that he will not be getting remarried, that Rhaenyra will remain his heir, and that anyone who objects otherwise is speaking of treason.

So there you go, the outline for a story that I’m most likely going to write in non-linear bits. In this world Alicent is Lady of Driftmark, Laenor and Joffrey get to be happy, and Viserys prioritizes making sure that Rhaenyra’s claim to the throne is secure. Also somewhere down the line in this universe Rhaenyra and Alicent get their shit together and realize they’re in love with each other, and Rhaenyra gets to marry Harwin because Daemon never takes her to the brothel and so she gets to pick her husband and be the polyamorous bi queen we all love.

[lale-txt]

he's just like me

[stevieharringtonwifeguy]

fae!steve who, practically the moment he learns what he can do, sets up a trap curse for his parents. if they ever kick him out and disown him, then the second he exits their threshold he'll take all their luck with him. he'd feel bad about cursing his parents, but the point of a trap curse is that it doesn't activate unless the targets of the curse do something to meet its requirements. if his parents were just good people, good parents, then nothing bad will ever happen to them.

but they really can't seem to help themselves. steve guesses he saw this coming.

he tells eddie about it, when eddie comes to pick him and his one allowed box of clothes and shit from the harrington house. eddie'd offered to curse them, 'might as well make good on my whole evil satanist reputation', but steve told him he already had it covered. told him about the trap. he's never seen eddie look so proud and so sad at the same time.

and sure enough, all good luck leaves the harrington household when steve does. a random irs check reveals harrington sr's years of tax fraud, and his business goes bankrupt trying to pay the fines. someone leaks pictures of one of mrs harringtons senior aides on a drug filled bender in the city, ruining both her campaigns squeaky clean image and her chances at reelection in the fall. several of mr harringtons former secretaries sue for sexual harassment, while seemingly every other woman he's ever come in contact with simultaneously sues for child support.

and steve just watches. he's happy now, living with eddie in a small apartment with their cat and the various small woodland creatures eddie keeps trying to sneak in (so far steve's had to kick out three raccoons, a possum, a skunk, two bats, and a coyote. they've all been very understanding when he's explained the situation to them but eddie still acts like a kicked puppy every time he does it). eddie keeps a little shoebox under their bed with newspaper clippings of every terrible thing to befall the mighty harringtons, says it's in case steve ever wants the reminder that he got one over on them in the end. a reminder that steve's happy and they're not.

steve doesn't need it. he feels it, every time the curse does something to them, something clicking in his chest like one of those alarm clocks with the flaps that flip over from one minute to the next. he wonders if it'll ever feel like too much. if he'll ever think they've been punished enough. they've had a rough couple years, it's sort of only a matter of time before something happens that's unlucky enough to injure or kill them.

steve thinks if he was human, maybe he'd care. maybe he'd look at that shoebox with the guilt eddie seems to be half-expecting every time he brings it out. but he's not, so he doesn't. he set the trap, but his 'parents' are the ones who sprung it.

they really should have known better than to cross a changeling.

[pagesofkenna]

what if i just completely threw out 60% of the existing plot concept for the novel i'm already writing the second draft of

[melonisopod]

My personal headcanon for the WH Mirror World is that Ishmael agreed to be a maid under the Edgar Family because she knew the heir was a sickly waif of a man who would probably croak from TB in a decade or two and she can train up to face Ahab in that amount of time, but unfortunately she got really attached to the sickly waif of a man she was banking on dying young.

[sallymew4]

i dont think i made his hair big enough honestly

[crimeronan]

The potential of a pre human realm arc Lumity kiss is Hilarious to me. Like “yes hello I know we just kissed and have begun testing the waters in our (still not totally defined) relationship However I am being told by every adult I trust that I need a vacation or else I will die So. Uh. Whoopsie!”

Like is Amity going to Join Them on their vacation (couples trip becomes throuples trip!) Or is she just going to be stuck in the Demon Realm trying and failing to be cool about the fact that she kissed the Empress. What would she even Do in either case. On one hand Amity alone in the Boiling Isles stuck in her feelings with nobody to talk to about it except Lilith and Darius is Peak Comedy. But on the other hand. Luz showing up to Camila’s with Hunter and Amity and being like “Hi mom you remember my Hunter well now I would like to introduce you to my Amity! Can she stay too pls.” is also Peak Comedy

LMAO. GOD.

this is 100% going to depend on how stupid luz and amity end up being after the kiss. which i honestly won't know until i draft it properly. we could be looking at anything from "i think we're the equivalent of vegas married now. scoot over bitch i love yall" to "hey hunter. when you saw amity and i hooking up last night..... did you think she was into me"

[britneyshakespeare]

literary theses are so hard to come up with when i choose to write about things i really truly love with that emotional, subjective part of me that is the true professor in my heart... like i know how to analyze texts... but can't i instead just tell you about all the beautiful, magical parts instead?