#like i got the sense this was an appeal for the reader to pity him here

[fideidefenswhore]

When an outbreak of plague hit, Charles [V] anxiously suggested that Mendoza drop what he was doing and flee for safer areas; Chapuys had never received such concern. Mendoza had planned to depart England by the end of August, which he anticipated with unconcealed joy. He had asked for a recall. Charles not only immediately granted Mendoza's request (whereas he had refused to do so for Chapuys), but also sent money to cover any debts he had incurred.

Inside the Tudor Court, Lauren Mackay

[pjisskullourful]

𝙁𝘼𝙑𝙊𝙐𝙍𝙄𝙏𝙀 𝙂𝙊𝘿

😈 Ethan × reader

18+ readers only!!!🔥 sex demon does explicit shit, a lot of explicit shit

° Ethan Torchio/female reader insert

wordcount:::: 13,519

° impeccably requested by an anon: anxious/gloomy/perpetually stressed (a med student? Stem girlie?) y/n is too busy to date and isn’t very experienced for the same reason but one day something happens and the fomo hits—her sadness, pessimism, unexplored potential is so powerful she accidentally manifests incubus!ethan ° got your own request in mind? send it here! but for more control& priority status hit me up for a commission

° lyrics stolen from cobrah

° [ITA:] cazzo: fuck

getting stronger, going harder than your favourite God ...

It was another Saturday night of sitting alone in your apartment because you had been too tired from the week to make plans. The slog of med school continued, taking up all of your time while you felt like you were no closer to leaving the student phase of your life.

Your friends had invited you to go out with them. But as much as they sang the praises of their favourite nightclub, you knew that you wouldn’t really enjoy your time at The Den. You just didn’t get clubs. You had yet to figure out where the fun was supposed to be derived from. It had only ever been an overwhelming and overpriced experience for you.

But when Amandine began texting you from the club, you did feel that little sting of regret. With nothing to do but stare at the screen of your phone, you worried what you were missing out on. You felt less secure in your decision to stay home.

if i find a guy thats your type can i give him your number? Amandine’s words appeared on your screen.

Maybe on another night you would have laughed at this strange question. But right now you were just feeling down. How do you know my type? I don’t even know my type.

But Amandine didn’t let you shake her from this unexpected goal. i’ve been shopping with you so much, i know your tastes.

Your best friend of so many years, you knew that she didn’t mean you any harm. She wanted only the best for you.

Get their Insta handles for me and I’ll judge for myself, you replied.

This didn’t threaten your sense of safety too much. You could keep yourself in your comfort zone, not treading the uncharted territory of romance unless you really wanted to.

always judging, she said back. if you’re not careful you’re gonna judge your whole life away.

You just stared at these words, completely lost on how to respond. There was no way for you to defend yourself against what was essentially the truth.

You were the least experienced of all of your friends. You were the odd one out when it came to conversations about relationships, sex or men.

You shut down any pitying sentiment by stating that you were waiting for the right guy. Some days you felt extremely patient, or you forgot about the wait.

But on other days, your insecurities would be louder, more distracting. You wondered why you weren’t following the same timeline as everyone around you. Was it because there was something wrong with you, and the perfect man had seen it and already decided to avoid you? You worried about staying a virgin for a very long time because you didn’t know how to change it, which prompted more waiting.

Your thoughts and views of yourself didn’t improve as the night wore on. Amandine started to send you usernames of the ‘talent’ she found for you amongst the crowd.

But you couldn’t see yourself with any of these men. The first one had an aesthetic combination that you couldn’t find appealing - the length of his hair, his style of glasses and facial hair reminded you of someone you had gone on a few painfully awkward dates with. The next guy looked like a fuckboy. The next one had photos of himself holding different fish he had caught. The next guy’s Instagram featured photos of him only dressed in tailored suits, with extensive captions, as if the photos were prompts for essays.

You felt nothing when you looked at these men. Maybe it would be different if you were standing in front of them. Maybe then you would be able to feel the sparks that you had been waiting for, that hadn’t been present on any of the dates you had been taken on.

You were feeling bitter as you typed a lie to your friend. You told her to give her matchmaking skills a rest because you were going to sleep. You claimed that you had an early morning shift tomorrow at the café where you worked.

You thought you knew what she was thinking about you right now, it was something she had shared with you in the past - you didn’t know what you wanted, but your standards were way too high. You were aware that you were more likely to tell your friends what you didn’t find attractive, than talk about what you did like. You couldn’t pin down exactly what your type was, only what it wasn’t.

You turned the volume of your phone off and placed it face down, not wanting to give it another second of attention. You switched off the bedside lamp and began getting comfortable in your bed.

For a while you didn’t think that you would be able to fall asleep, not when your mind was racing. You still felt bitter, making a very long list of all of the things that you were missing out on. Then you began to rank these items based on how much of your life you were likely to spend continuing to not have them.

Then you got stuck on a specific idea of how nice it would be to have the comfort of cuddling with a man right now. You had never fallen asleep in someone’s arms before. You wondered how it would feel.

You were certain that you didn’t want to do it with any of the men Amandine had deemed to be your type tonight.

But who would you want to do it with, who were your options? You wanted someone who looked like Heath Ledger, but specifically how he had looked in 10 Things I Hate About You, with long and dark hair. Or someone who looked like Johnny Depp, but only from the early ‘90’s. Or someone like Jason Momoa, but not when he was doing that tough guy angry face.

You realised you were falling asleep when you lost track of thoughts, or they just stopped making any sense. Your mind couldn’t clearly give you an image to soothe you. It was all a muddle of ideas, your emotions still running with more power than usual. But you were already drifting off, unable to do anything beyond observe these feelings.

Loneliness.

Lust.

Frustration.

Uncertainty.

Desire.

Pessimism.

*** *** ***

The first thing that your bleary eyes saw were numbers in red - 3.33. Damn, it was way too early for you to be awake.

You were so displeased by the time, focused on this and not noticing what was wrong with what you were seeing. It took a few seconds before you realised it: the numbers on your digital clock were usually green.

This made you flinch before you raised your head, starting to fully (begrudgingly) wake up. You felt disorientated, much more than usual. There was something different about this bedroom you had been inhabiting for the past three years.

Then you realised why you had stirred in the first place: someone was knocking on the front door. Even though you were hearing it with your own ears, the insistent rhythm didn’t seem real to you.

You sat up, forcing yourself to grapple with your apparent reality. You took another look at your clock, seeking greater clarity. The numbers were back to their green hue, but they still read that ridiculous hour of three in the morning.

You had no idea of who could be at your door. There were no earlier arrangements that had slipped your mind. Nor were there any past instances that you could assume this to be a repeat of.

But the person seemed determined - surely this would only come from being in the right place at the right time.

You swung your legs out of the bed. You tried to ignore the fear that was like a little pit in your gut, because it was just over-dramatics.

Valentina or Amandine or one of your sisters was pulling a surprise on you. Someone that you knew had caught you off-guard by organising a delivery from Uber Eats - your brain produced this as a solution and you found it to be logical. You also liked it because it wasn’t threatening. You attached yourself to this theory as you walked towards the front door, the fear a little easier to write off.

There were six quick knocks, then a pause would follow before another burst of six knocks came. Your movements felt automatic as you willed yourself to not put too much thought into this scenario.

You reached the door and heard six more knocks. Before you could get freaked out, you turned the knob and opened the door, the security chain stopping it only a few inches from the frame. You looked out, the light behind you illuminating the doorstep.

You didn’t see anything in the hands of this stranger. It was just some guy, lacking any kind of context. But you didn’t just shut the door again, you let him make eye-contact with you as your heart positively rushed.

He addressed you by your name, not struggling over the pronunciation for even a second and you didn’t hesitate to nod. “Can I come in?”

You started to complete the action of unlocking your door without thought, against your better judgement. Once you realised what you were doing, you were horrified and you wanted to stop. But you couldn’t make yourself stop. It was as if you were watching the actions of someone on TV, so disconnected. This brought the fear into the forefront, combined with confusion.

Once the door was fully opened, he very calmly walked into your home. He wasn’t trying to intimidate you - he didn’t rush at you or brandish any weapons.

But you thought about how close you were to the kitchen. The sharpened cooking knives were the key to defending yourself against an attack.

“You can close that, there's nobody with me.” He said and you were following through with his instruction before he had properly finished speaking.

The action happened without you realising, it was as if someone else was in control. It made you feel cold inside, but you couldn't make yourself act any differently.

You were wide-eyed staring at this man, trying to gather all of the information that was available to you. He looked to be about the same age as you, no lines on his face, which was made up of strong angles. He was clean and well put-together, dressed only in black. He didn't quite look real to you, from the intricate lace on his undershirt to the perfectly swept back long hair - it all looked too good, it didn't fit with the ordinary surroundings of your home, your reality. He carried nothing with him, he was just some guy in a leather jacket.

“Who are you?” You asked, your insides trembling as you stood opposite the broad-shouldered stranger.

“You can call me Ethan.” He said. There was nothing threatening in his tone and his accent was typical to your ears.

“Because that's your name?” You asked.

“One of them. It's the only one you need to worry about.” He said.

You were pleased to find that you could speak more - you still had some control. “But who are you? What are you doing here?”

“You summoned me.” He said simply. He was so secure and confident, certain that he was right.

“I- uh- I didn't…” You said. You watched for his reaction, hoping you weren't about to unknowingly provoke him. “I don't know who told you to come here or why. But I didn't ask you to come, oh at all. I was literally just sleeping in my bed and- uh, sorry you came all this way, but…”

“Did you manifest something?” He asked. “Maybe as you were falling asleep, just as you were slipping from one state to the other?”

“Manifestation isn't real.” You stated.

His calm demeanour didn't falter. He walked closer to you, and your gut clenched as the rest of your body froze.

He reached out and grabbed you just above the elbow, where your skin was bare. He laid his fingers on you then pinched. The twinge of discomfort was strong and immediate, making you gasp, flinching away a little.

Thankfully he didn't pinch you for long, releasing his hold and a small smile began on his lips. “That felt pretty real, huh?”

“I don’t understand.” You said.

You didn't know how to feel, it was all just adrenaline keeping you upright and alert. Were you in flight or fight?

“Yeah, they always send me to the clueless ones.” He said, backing off a couple of steps. He was still close enough that he could grab you and you didn’t doubt that he could physically overpower you. But it didn’t seem like that was about to happen.

“Could you help me to be, uh, less clueless?” You asked.

“Let’s sit down, hm? There’s really no point standing around here when you’re not about to show me the door.” He said.

He didn’t wait for approval or guidance from you, just turning and leaving from this area. He left the entryway, wandering into your lounge room and you instantly followed after him. He looked like a regular visitor to your home, there was something so natural about the way he just sat down on your couch, seeming to get comfortable at once.

“What’s next, I offer you a fuckin’ drink?” You asked, trying to make a joke to cover your unease.

“Such a good hostess. Water is fine for me, sweetie.” He said.

You turned your back on him, giving him another shred of your trust. You went into the kitchen and your first action wasn’t to go for the knife block. Instead you got a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water, him calling you sweetie rang in your ears as you did so. You didn’t get anything for yourself, you couldn’t tell if you were thirsty or not.

You walked back into the living room and his dark eyes were on you immediately. His stare was so intense that it gave you a rush of heat in the depths of your gut. You had never experienced something like this before.

“Thanks.” He said. “Sit with me.”

You did it, sitting on the same couch as him. He turned to fully face you, more of that strong stare - what was he looking for?

“How did I summon you?” You asked.

“Great question.” He said. “And a great opportunity for me to find out just how sceptical you are. There’s boundaries that separate one realm from another…” You furrowed your brow. “And when you’re falling asleep those boundaries get less solid- imagine curtains and how they move and sway, things can slip through because it isn’t firm, it isn’t air-tight.

“And what slipped through was your manifesting. You weren’t tied down by reality, neither were your desires. You wished bigger than you would have if you thought for a second that anyone would hear. But desperate wishes like that- it’s what my kind are always listening for, we’re obsessed with it.

“Your wishing, or manifesting, or whatever you want to call it, slipped through to a more powerful, more mystical realm: mine.” He said. “Does that explain how you summoned me?”

It was like you had happened upon a puzzle. Several of the pieces were in place, connections formed, but the majority were scattered about in an unhelpful mess. And there wasn’t a reference image for you to know what you were working toward. But this stranger knew what the picture was supposed to be.

“Kinda. If I just put my scepticism to the side, I guess I can sort of understand what you’re trying to say.” You said.

“Good girl.” He said with an encouraging smile.

If you dropped the want to label everything as crazy, then you could proceed forward. “You said something about your kind- um, what kind is that?”

“I’m an incubus.” He said, looking amused now.

You couldn’t keep yourself from laughing, the nerves making it more high-pitched than you were used to hearing from yourself. “Alright, now I know that you’re in the wrong place, whoever told you to come here is lying to you. I didn’t summon you- why would a fuckin’ virgin summon a sex demon? You’re in the wrong house with the wrong girl, I hate to break it to you.”

You were embarrassed after saying that, silent as you sucked on the inside of your lower lip. You didn’t know why you had said it. Your absence of sexual partners wasn’t anything this stranger needed to know, but you had almost eagerly given him the information.

He didn’t have much reaction, taking a sip of water. He didn’t agree that he was in the wrong house, making no moves to get up and head for the door.

“Would you like me to act surprised that you’re a virgin?” He asked and you started to avoid his eyes, which seemed to see too much. “Because that’s what people usually do, right? They simply cannot believe it, and I see how it could catch them off-guard.

“But I already knew. You would have to work hard to surprise an incubus.” He said. “I’m in the right place, that’s why I know so much about you, darling.

“So you know a little about incubus? Enough that you didn’t need to ask for clarification.” He said.

“I’ve heard of them, I don’t know if I believe they’re real. But I’ve seen, um, stuff online.” You said.

He curiously tilted his head to the side. “Stuff?”

“Porn.” You said before you slapped a hand over your lips, your eyes growing wide. Your embarrassment skyrocketed more, you were physically uncomfortable and there was a blush in your cheeks hotter than you had ever felt before.

“It’s okay. In fact, I would say that’s a pretty common way for the word incubus to get on someone’s radar.” He said.

You gradually lowered your hand, speaking in a very small voice. “I don’t know why I said that.”

He gave your knee a pat, which felt a little condescending. “Don’t worry too much about it, baby. It’s just because I’m compelling you, it makes you more agreeable.”

“Are you controlling my mind?” You asked.

“Yes and no. The thoughts that you’re having are still your own, I can’t mess with that. It’s your actions that I’m having a kind of influence over. They must have covered this incubus talent in those very educational videos you watched.” He said teasingly, and your cheeks continued to flame. “Are you still unsure if me and my kind are real?”

You stared down at your hands, a noticeable shake in both of them. “I guess it’s- in a really weird way, it’s the most logical explanation.”

“Now you’re getting it, just go with it.” He said. “Do you know what incubus do?”

“I don’t know, you have kinky sex with people.” You said.

“We make deals. Being from a different realm and all, I can give you things that you would never be able to get for yourself. I could grant a wish for you.” He said.

You lifted your eyes slightly, getting a little closer to looking at his pleasing face again. “A wish?”

“Yeah. Well, within some limitations. I can do more than you, but I can’t do everything.” He said. “But I’ll tell you if your wish is possible or not before we do anything, darling.”

You looked up, finding the courage to meet his eye. And when you did, you began to smile for a reason that you couldn’t name. You didn’t mind how intimidated you felt, you supposed you were getting used to it.

“Do you like it when I call you that?” He asked.

You licked your lips. “Yeah, I think so.”

“Yeah, it gives you a sense of comfort, right? One that you didn’t know you needed.” He said.

He moved his hand slowly, giving you ample time to tell him to stop. But you didn’t want to, you were content to watch him place his hand on your knee, then keep it there.

“Do you wanna have kinky sex with me?” You asked.

“Very much.” He said without hesitation. “It is literally the whole reason why I’m here. Do you want to have kinky sex with me?”

You hesitated, getting overwhelmed by the possibilities. It was more than just stepping into uncharted territory. It was having to walk into uncharted territory wearing 10-inch high heels with absolutely no practice beforehand.

“I- I’m not still a virgin because of some plan, seeking virtue or anything. I don’t like the thought that I’m gonna meet someone who is so turned off by it and I don’t like feeling like my friends are pitying me every time it’s brought up.” You said, continuing this streak of sharing so much with him.

“We could so easily get rid of that label forever.” He said. “And I know that you don’t want to lose it to someone who’s going to treat you, your body and your pussy like it’s all made of glass.”

“No, I don’t. I don’t want someone who is gonna be so gentle and boring, you know? It should be significant, not basic and just missionary where I don’t learn anything.”

“You would learn so much from me, darling.” He said, easing his hand up and onto your thigh.

You swallowed. “I only want to kiss you ‘cause you're in my mind telling me that's what I wanna do.”

“No, I told you I'm not changing your thoughts.” He said. “I'm in your head to tell you that you can kiss me. But don't get ahead of yourself. I'm here to make a deal, you have to tell me what you want first.” 

“My wish?”

“Yes, and please don't bore me by asking for good grades. Make it something that's worth me coming all this way.” He said.

“Um… so I'll just say it and you'll tell me if you can, like, do it?” You asked.

“Mm-hmm.”

“Could you promise me success? I don't need you to give me my dream job right now, I just don't want all this hard work and shit to be for nothing.” You said, more shy to say this than some of the other exposing comments you had made to him. “I need to know that I'm not doing all this for nothing, I want to end up someplace where I'm fulfilled and-... Is that too vague, or���?”

“No, it's perfect and I can do that. I can put that into the universe for you and make sure that you get to where you wanna go, not toiling away at something beneath you.” He said. “But you have to give me your body, just for tonight, that's all I need to make your wish come true.” His hand was up quite high on your thigh now. “And if you think about it, we're taking care of two wishes: ensuring your success in the medical field and getting rid of that troublesome virginity.

“But it’s up to you, darling.” He said.

You were glad when there was a pause after this. You didn’t see yourself going through any automatic movements. It wasn’t like before where you didn’t feel the control over your body. Now you knew that you weren’t watching someone on television, this was conscious consent.

And you made the conscious effort to share it with him. There was still so much of this puzzle unsolved. The only thing you knew for sure was that this devastatingly handsome man wanted to sleep with you and holding onto that kept you from getting distracted by everything else.

You leaned forward, more of that intoxicating adrenaline fuelling you as you aimed to cross the distance between him and you. He watched you getting closer and it was so nice to know that you weren’t about to be rejected.

Your eyes went down to his lips and you weren’t thinking of the other people you had kissed before this. This would be the most significant kiss of your life.

Your eyes fluttered shut and your mouth met his. He was so warm and so firm as he instantly kissed you back. He rested each of his hands on your face and you moved closer.

You were invigorated, your heart pounding as you felt more-and-more of his body heat. You laid your open palm on his chest, feeling his hot skin through the thin, pretty material of his shirt. He tilted his head slightly and your bottom lip slipped in between both of his. As his fingers caressed your cheeks, you started to feel his tongue on your lip.

The desire was beginning to pool between your thighs, you were so aware of it. You wanted to explore everything that went with it.

He barely broke the kiss to speak. “Good girl, good fucking girl.” He kept kissing you as he wrapped a strong arm around your middle and started to ease you closer. You went with this, feeling like you could melt in his embrace. As you felt more hints of his tongue, you knew you had made the right choice - you felt ready and excited.

“Do you want me to grant your wish?” He asked.

Amongst the flurry of kisses you almost didn’t want to answer, you just wanted to experience more of his mouth. You kept close, his breath still on your face as you spoke. “Yes, please yes.”

“Are you going to do whatever I say to get it?” He asked.

“Yes, yes I will.” You said, you had never felt so willing in your whole life, with very little to hold you back.

“You’re getting this needy tone in your voice that is just so sexy.” He said, his fingertips still savouring the texture and heat of your cheek. “You aren’t like the other people I meet who just want this…” His other hand had slipped under your shirt, rubbing at the small of your back. “You need it.”

“I really do, Ethan.” You said, surprising yourself with how you could just leave shame behind.

“You don’t want anyone to be too gentle, which is fucking perfect. I’m not gonna be, you and me are gonna find every one of your limits and that’s gonna be so much fun.” He said, making you smile. “But I am gonna ease you into it, we won’t start with the most intense and feral stuff.”

You looked at the face of this stranger, not seeing anything that brought you fear, you just kept feeling more intrigued. “What are we going to start with?”

“You’re gonna show me what you can do with that mouth, show me that you’re worth being my fuck doll.” He said. “You’ve got to earn the favour of my powers. Take your clothes off, you won’t need them going forward.”

You felt a lack of confidence as you began to remove your clothes, showing him more than anyone had seen before. Maybe he thought it would help to make things more even, taking off his leather jacket. You weren’t sure if you felt less uncomfortable, but looking at his impressive arms did distract you from your insecurities. As you pushed down your pants, he reached down to take off his boots. But he didn’t make any moves to remove his shirt or pants, meanwhile you were taking your panties down.

“Be a good girl now and kneel right here.” He said, pointing to a spot on the ground in front of where he sat on the couch.

You knew the tiles were going to be cold and hard on your bare knees. But you made the move anyway. Your need to prove yourself to him dulled your other thoughts down, your perceptions not quite the same as usual. He changed how he was sitting, placing both of his feet on the floor, but leaving enough room between his legs for you to fit. You placed yourself here as he started to unbuckle his belt.

“You don’t have to be nervous, darling.” He said, opening the fly of his jeans.

Your eyes were wide, with no prior experience to guide you, all that you could think to do was stare at him. This wild encounter kept unfolding and you were as daunted as you were intrigued.

“I know you’ve never sucked a cock before, so you’re gonna start with my balls.” He said, reaching a hand into his underwear. “You’re gonna worship them, put them in your mouth, cover them with so many kisses. Then when you’ve proven that you can please me, then you’ll get my cock.”

Your mouth dropped open when his cock was out and directly in front of your face. The stiff length was bigger than the toy you kept in your nightstand. You imagined that it would be quick to overwhelm you.

“Um…” Your stomach was twisting and you wondered if your excitement had given you a false sense of your capabilities. “That’s, like, really fuckin’ big.”

“I’ll teach you how to take it.” He said. He held the shaft close to the base, while his other hand played with your hair, smoothing it at a soothing tempo. It was hard for you to know where to put your eyes - did you meet his, or were you supposed to be looking at this intimidating boner?

“Don’t forget that it isn’t your starting point. My balls are first.” He said and he changed how he held it, lifting the length so that less of his balls were hidden. “You can handle those for me, can’t you? Surely you can, in exchange for the future that you want.”

You licked your lips and began to lean in, thinking about things you had seen in dirty movies. You could remember the hunger you had felt when watching those types of videos, the curiosity so strong it felt like it could burn you. You looked at the textured skin as it got closer to your face. It was easier to not think about his shaft when you wondered what his balls would taste like.

You started with a kiss, feeling the heat on your lips at once. Then you applied another kiss and another, exploring across his scrotum slowly. More of his rich, primal scent filled your nostrils.

“Tell me, have you ever called someone Daddy before?” He asked as he put his hand to the top of your head.

You looked up at him, finding him watching you very carefully. “Only as a joke.”

His fingers were no longer just lying on your head, now they had found a hold. “That’s what you’re going to call me, but neither of us will be joking.”

“Yes, Daddy.” You replied, very eager to say it and find out how it felt. It was instantly kinky and you liked how it felt.

It seemed that he liked it too, showing you a smile that made your heart flutter. Then you felt him directing your head forward again, back into his crotch. You didn’t resist, a little less intimidated than before as you wondered if you could get more than a smile from him. The word daddy floated around in your mind and you hesitated less between kisses, your lips spending more time on his skin.

Then you started to open your mouth, pushing your tongue forward to drag along him. He gripped your head harder than before and you liked the pressure. He hummed happily and you shut your eyes, one lick promptly following another.

“Don’t be afraid to put them in your mouth.” He invited.

You pushed your face closer to his scrotum and changed how you were holding your mouth. You wrapped your lips around his sac, bringing it to rest on your tongue.

It didn’t take you long to adjust, so you soon started to move your tongue. You massaged it against what filled your mouth.

“Oh yeah, you like those balls in your mouth, don’t you dirty girl?” He said.

You didn’t want to take him out of your mouth to speak. So you tried to find a different way to agree with him. You drew your cheeks in, starting to suck. You kept working your tongue and you could feel yourself getting into a groove. You could handle this.

“Keep worshipping those fuckin’ balls.” He said.

You were starting to gain confidence - maybe you could be good at sex. The sense of accomplishment pushed you onwards and you kept rubbing your tongue on his skin, lapping keenly. He was shifting in his seat and every once in a while you felt him give his cock a single, lethargic stroke.

“I think I’m gonna make you into a great fuck doll.” He said.

Why was that your instant favourite compliment you had ever received? It made your heart do a little somersault and it prompted you to mentally notice how wet your pussy felt. It was the most erotic thing you had ever heard, affecting you so deeply.

“You’re making my balls feel so fuckin’ good. Do you feel how heavy they’re getting?” He paused to groan and your thighs tensed, your own anticipation growing. “That’s all my cum and you’re gonna get all of it. It’s gonna be a lot, you’re making my balls ache with need.”

You sucked your cheeks in a little harder and he jerked your head closer. Your nose was brought flush to his skin and he held you there, with less breathing room. You saw how easy it would be to lose yourself in his pleasure as all of your senses were dominated by him. But it was exciting as you waited for his next reaction, something you couldn’t predict.

“Okay, let’s see if you can treat the shaft just as well.” He said, pulling and moving your head away.

Your mouth was emptied and you started to open your eyes. At first your eyes went to his very close tip. Then you looked up at his face, your breath remaining short.

He curled up some strands of your hair in his fist and you didn’t dare to move. “Thank me, thank me for the privilege of getting to worship my balls, baby.”

“Thank you for the privilege of worshipping your balls, Ethan.” You said, getting all of the dirty words out and feeling like you meant them.

“You liked it, didn’t you?” He asked and you were quick to nod your head. “It’s fun making me feel good, hm? You’re gonna have fun sucking my cock too, I know it. You only think that you can’t do it. But you just have to start. So how about you start? Go ahead and give the tip a kiss, hm?”

You looked down at his cock, feeling how much you were shaking. You tried to hold onto your accomplishment of successfully playing with his scrotum - if you could do that, maybe you could do this?

He held it steady and you leaned in. The skin here already shone with a bit of moisture. You kept your lips together and your eyes open.

This skin was firmer and hotter. He gripped your hair and you cautiously gave it another kiss, then another. As your heart raced, you looked up at him and he was watching you with great interest. The rising and falling of his chest seemed to be coming in quicker.

“You look good like this.” He said and you started to linger longer between kisses, growing more familiar with how his tip felt. “And I get to see it before any man.” 

“That’s right, savour it just like you were savouring Daddy’s balls.” He said and the soothing tone in his voice helped you get comfortable. “Wrap your cute lips around the tip.”

You parted your lips, drawing the crown of his cock between them in slow and sensual kisses.

Then you contributed your tongue, sliding it in an upward motion. You saw the expression on his handsome face not change, he didn’t seem unhappy with what you were doing. And so you licked him more-and-more, the taste of his skin so intimate.

“Now suck it.” He said at the same time as he eased your head forward. “Suck it like it’s the sweetest lollipop in the world.”

About an inch of his erection moved into your mouth and you kept your mouth set around him. You relaxed your tongue beneath him and started to suck, as if you were using a girthy straw. His eyelids fluttered as he let out a shaky exhale and you felt more of that motivating pride.

“Mm-hmm, I told you you could do it.” He said and you felt him guiding your head forward again. “Don’t forget this, I am always right.”

You had started to squeeze your thighs together as you continuously got more invested in his passion.

He let you feel the firmness of his grip on your head. “Come on baby, you can take more. Your mouth isn’t a virgin anymore.”

You moved with him, completely willing to remain in his control, wanting to see what would happen next. Your curiosities and interests came before any of your current needs, they were easily overpowered.

He fit more of his shaft into your mouth, the tip pushing against the roof of your mouth. Until he readjusted so that it was pointing towards your throat’s opening. You braced yourself with your hands on his thighs as you felt your heart beating harder.

Even though your mouth was getting closer to being full, you still felt like you could manage it. You shut your eyes as you concentrated on sucking, attracting no corrections from him.

Before too long, he was jerking your head further forward again. You were surprised when your lips bumped into the hand that held his shaft steady at the base. You forgot about keeping your breathing regular momentarily.

He didn’t let you adjust to this depth. You worried that you had done something wrong as he dragged your head away. But he didn’t let his cock slide free, pulling you forward before your lips could reach his tip. He repeated this motion, guiding your mouth back-and-forth on his length.

“That’s how you make Daddy feel fuckin’ good.” He said.

Both of his hands went to the top of your head as he set into a tempo of how your lips should continue to work him up-and-down. You tried to settle into this motion, your tongue rubbing consistently on his underside.

You had never felt truly used like this before and you didn’t want to recoil from it in the slightest. Your cunt was reacting to the explicit noises that he was making. You enjoyed how straight-forward everything was and you were pleased that it seemed you were rising to meet the challenge.

“Honey, that mouth is really great. You’re off to a promising start, yes you are.” He said, different tones brought out in his voice.

The rushing adrenaline made your sense of accomplishment all the more significant and it was an addictive feeling. With no room in your head for other thoughts, there was nothing to slow down your enjoyment. You could feel moisture on your thighs as you kept them clenched together.

His fingers clenched, gathering up sections of your hair. “No more easing, you’re gonna make me come now.”

He started to direct your head faster and you felt a mild pulling on your scalp. This new tempo was relentless, there were no breaks to compose yourself and you could feel wetness spilling over your lower lip.

Even more spit spread down your chin when he struck his hips up, driving the tip into your throat. You were too surprised to keep yourself from sputtering.

Your breathing caught, and there was no gaining it back, not even when he eased off from your throat, the momentum taking him to a shallower point.

But just as quickly, he was bringing your mouth down again, filling it up without hesitation.

“You’re my dirty girl now. And that’s exactly how you’re gonna take this.” He said.

He was pulling on your hair, bringing a stinging sensation now. And it didn’t seem that he was on the verge of stopping.

It had become a legitimate effort to keep up with him now, and you weren’t sure that you were doing the best job of it. But at the very least you were keeping him in your mouth. As your lungs burnt, you understood that this was a skill, which you would need to develop.

Currently, his determination seemed to make up for your inexperience. It was all good enough to keep his dick stiff as his vigour continued.

He threw his head back for a loud moan the next time his tip pushed into your throat. “Fuck, yes. Oh fuck. I’m not going to come in your mouth. No, you’re going to wear the first load you’ve ever earned.” He stroked himself back before your head was brought down just as fast. “So when I pull out, keep your eyes shut.”

That didn’t happen straight away, instead he kept up the tempo. Your ears began to ring as his movements remained just as persistent.

Then suddenly he was dragged entirely out of your mouth, which stayed hanging open. Before you could fully register this change, you were feeling something wet hit your face. You flinched and squeezed your eyes shut even tighter. It was unlike anything you had felt before: the pronounced droplets and streaks were so hot.

He took his hands off of your head one at a time, panting out your name. You felt another rope of his cum shoot onto your left cheek, making the coverage more even.

“There you go.” He said. “You can open your eyes now.”

You did this slowly, gasping for air as reality crept back in. You settled your eyes on him as you felt some of the thick liquid give in to gravity, sliding down your skin.

He looked pleased, there weren’t any lines on his face to indicate annoyance. Maybe he was on the verge of smiling as he relaxed back on your sofa. His cock was noticeably softening, no longer demanding your attention.

He put his fingers under your chin, guiding your head back. “You’re going to thank me again, thank me for this unparalleled privilege. But you’re going to thank my cock.”

You licked your lips, tasting him even more strongly. You lowered your eyes to his shaft as you remained short on breath. “Thank you, thank you for the absolute privilege of getting covered in your cum.”

“Mm, you’re welcome, darling. I knew you had great potential.” He said. “I’m glad you like giving me pleasure, it’s so very obvious that you’re enjoying this. That’s good, that’s sexy. But just like I can tell that, I can also tell that you aren’t totally in this yet. You can call it fear or insecurities, whatever it is, something in here is holding you back…”

He tapped his finger on the centre of your forehead and you furrowed your brow. But he was speaking again before you had the chance to disagree.

“I can’t fuck you until I’ve broken you out of your mind further.” He said.

Now you didn’t know how to disagree with him because you weren’t sure what he meant. You silently watched him sit back, anxiety trickling in.

His attention left you, going to where he had laid his leather jacket out. He started to look through the pockets and you remained at his feet, unwilling to get up without instruction.

He produced one bundle of red rope, then a second. This got your interest and curiosity.

But you started to question everything you were seeing as he pulled out a long, metal rod. It was taller than him, there was no way it could have been hidden until now. It had a small, grippy-style foot at one end and he put this on the floor, resting the pole against the couch. Once he was content that it wasn’t going to fall, he went back to the jacket and soon another rod was appearing.

“Wait, wait, how are you doing that?” You asked.

This new pole looked like it was the same length as the first as he pulled it free. He glanced at you then back at the object. “Oh, right. My jacket is what you might call magic, in that I can pull almost anything out of the pockets.

“Almost anything.” He said as he rested the pole with its twin. Then he picked up the jacket and brought it even closer for you to see. But you were just as confused because it appeared to be nothing but limp leather. “I can’t get something living from it, so don’t think about asking for a bunny. I also can’t use it to produce something as big as a house or a car.

“But within those limitations, there’s a lot I can do.” He said, his hand going into the average-sized pocket and you saw the top of another rod. “It’s a little incubus trick that always keeps things easy for me.”

You watched as he pulled out more-and-more, still not fully believing your eyes. “Could I get anything from it?”

“Nope, they would work as regular pockets for you, my pretty little thing. It only works for demons, so it would do you no good to steal it for yourself.” He said in a casual tone as he got the end of this third rod free.

“I wasn’t even thinking of… what are those?” You asked.

“I’m gonna make a temporary frame.” He said as he stood up. His first action was to take down his pants and briefs, freeing his legs entirely. Then he stepped out of your personal space and started to gather up these rods. “You’re gonna learn a little something about shibari, specifically suspension shibari.”

Images you had seen online were brought to the forefront of your mind as you heard the pronunciation of this word for the first time.

You watched as he started the assembly. Towards the top of each rod was a small divot, a spot for one to securely attach to another. They fitted together with some clicks, forming the top of a triangle.

He got the apparatus standing upright, it was tall enough for him to stand under. He made adjustments to how the rubber-padded ends rested on the ground, they looked like they were evenly spaced out.

The tripod didn’t waver or wobble. You accepted what was seemingly your only option and gave him more of your trust that you weren’t about to be injured.

He collected up the rope and got to work with that. It would have been easy for you to get distracted by his nudity, your eyes moving away from the rope every so often. You tried to only look at his cock when he seemed distracted enough to not notice and your thoughts rushed with every glance.

He secured the rope around the tops of the rods with some knots, the tail of this rope freely hanging down. It remained unattached to anything because when he picked up the second bundle of rope, his attention went to you.

He beckoned for you to stand up and you hurried to do so, facing him. There was something about having your exposed body this close to him that kept you from fully catching your breath.

The rope wasn’t rough against your bare skin as he started to wind it around you, just beneath your bust. He created a band by wrapping it around you four times, tight without letting it dig into you.

This was affixed with a knot behind your back. Then he progressed to making a second band, this one going over your navel. He stood behind you as he tied more knots into the rope.

There was some length left over, which he allowed to dangle, brushing against the backs of your thighs.

He returned to the enchanted leather jacket and you saw more rope come from the pocket. He unwound this bundle as he looked you up-and-down - planning rather than judging.

“Kneel.” He said and you quickly lowered yourself down, returning your unprotected knees to the cold tiles. Even though his cock was now directly in front of your face, you endeavoured to not get caught up in just staring at it. You lifted your eyes, meeting his gaze.

“Raise your arms above your head, yep.” He said, stepping to place himself behind you. “Now reach down like you’re trying to grab the back of your neck, but on opposite sides.”

You bent your elbows and crossed one wrist over the other at the back of your head. He was completely out of your sight as he started to tie your wrists together.

To keep you from changing the position of your arms, he created a new bind. He looped the rope from your wrist to your bicep, then copied it on the other arm. He ensured its preservation by tying more firm knots. The restriction made you feel vulnerable, but that wasn’t a negative experience.

Once this was complete, he walked around to stand in front of you again. He studied you, a serious look on his face. “Any pain, pretty little thing?”

“No, it’s fine.” You said.

“Great, then I’ll keep going.” He said before lowering himself down to sit on the ground in front of you. He tapped your right leg. “Extend this leg out.”

Your centre of gravity felt off, but you managed to make this shift without falling. Then he was on you with a new length of rope, wrapping it around your thigh this time.

He created a couple of bands, then extended the end of the rope back and behind you. He moved, leaving your sight as he kneeled behind you. You tried to picture what he was doing as there was a slight tug on the rope that wrapped around your thigh. The length remained tense and soon he was attaching it to the main knot resting on your back.

“Very nice.” He said, his voice just as smooth, but less warm than before. “Stand for me.”

“Um…” 

As you placed your right foot firmly on the ground, you were already imagining yourself falling over. You pictured dark red droplets on the tiles after your nose smacked into it.

You lifted your ass and leaned your body weight forward, allowing you to move your left leg now. You got this foot set on the ground too and started to push yourself up. Cautiously, you kept your knees bent.

He watched instead of offering his assistance and you feared that you were about to be chided for taking too long. As you straightened your back, you found the rope on your thigh pulling. You brought some give to the rope by lifting your right foot from the ground, letting it hover as you found this less uncomfortable.

“How is that? Are you feeling like a helpless little bug stuck in a spiders’ web yet?” He asked.

“That’s a very appropriate way to put it, yes.” You said.

He came closer, smirking as he stood in front of you. “But that isn’t a bad thing, is it? I actually think that you don’t mind it at all.”

You tried your best to maintain steady eye contact, even as you couldn’t help swaying a little. “You’re right.”

He placed his fingers under your chin as he got closer again, his eyes briefly going down to your mouth. “Because you want to surrender to me, don’t you, dirty girl?”

Your breath was coming in much faster and you were practically counting down the seconds until he next kissed you. “Yes, I do.”

Your eyes fluttered shut and the powerful anticipation prompted you to part your lips. You were able to stop thinking about the strain in your limbs. Even when he took his hand away from you, you remained locked in your hopes.

“Over here now.”

When you opened your eyes, it was to find him standing next to the super-sized tripod. You had to twist and change your posture to walk over to him. And even then, it was more of a strange shamble across the floor.

“Stand in the centre.” He instructed.

You made more of your awkward shuffles until you were standing under the apparatus. He joined you, placing himself behind you. He was doing something to the rope harness around your chest, making adjustments that shifted it about, without compromising any of its security. He was silent as he completed his task.

Without any warning, you felt the binds tense and pull upwards. Your feet left the ground, getting higher-and-higher to the sounds of his little grunts of effort. Your stomach twisted as another aspect of bodily control was taken from you. It was thrilling (and intimidating) to see your feet dangling a few inches above the floor, all the while knowing you could do nothing to get down.

Then your right leg was yanked even higher as he pulled at the rope attached to your thigh again. Your thigh was pulled away from the other and kept like this as he kept the rope taut. He tied it to something new, the line that hung directly from the apparatus. You bent your knee, trying to settle into this unusual position. He got it all secured and then he took a few steps back, surveying his handiwork.

“Sweet girl…” He said, wandering back into your field of vision. “This suits you so much better than the whole studious virgin thing you had going on.”

Some strands of his dark hair had come loose from the bun, now framing his face. His eyes moved so thoroughly over your body as a small smile pulled at his cheek.

He nodded to himself and stepped away, going back to the couch. You watched as he picked his jacket up again, going for the magical pocket.

You were rushing with adrenaline and partially you started to think of all of the things that could go wrong - the amount of ways you could be injured wasn't getting any smaller.

When he turned around again, you saw that he held a leather paddle in his hand. “Are you ready for Daddy to break you out of your mind?”

You gulped audibly. “Yes. Yes, please.”

He walked over, letting you feel the paddle by rubbing it against your raised thigh. There was no sharpness at first. You stared back as he fixed his eyes on yours. Again, you wondered about mind control.

You lost the competition, your eyes snapping shut when he slapped the paddle onto your pubic mound. It was like a little explosion of heat - the kind of heat that felt alive because of the tingles it brought with it. As your breath caught, you tried to determine if you had enjoyed the sensation.

“Ooh, is that so sensitive? Is that just so needy, swelling with blood and getting so wet?” He asked, holding the firm toy against your pussy. “Hm, is it, honey?”

You forced your eyes open as he tapped it on your labia. “Yea- yes, I don’t think I’ve ever been this needy before in my life.”

He slapped the toy against your thigh, making you wince. “And yet, I’m going to make you even needier.”

“Thank you.”

He gave your other thigh a hit before walking around, going beyond your view again. “Now, when I first showed this to you, you probably assumed I would use it to spank your ass, hm?” You jerkily nodded your head and your answer was met with him striking your ass. “That’s what most people would do if given this…”

A series of spanks was inflicted upon each cheek, bringing a glow to your ass. It hurt more every time, keeping you paying attention to only this.

“But I’m not most people.” He said, stepping in front of you. “And I know that the fun of spanking doesn’t have to be limited to ass.”

Your eyes grew wide as he flicked the paddle up. Your body shook and your thoughts were fragmented as you tried to guess where he would hit you next.

When he whacked it against your breast, the sensation ripped right through you. Your stiff nipple hurt the most, the pain much sharper here. But it stung everywhere that the toy had hit.

This skin was still prickling when he took the paddle away, swatting your other tit. You gasped, keenly aware of the feeling of your nerves fraying.

Each of your nipples throbbed as he kept spanking, alternating from one breast to the other. There was a fire in his eyes and he didn’t appear to tire - just as impassioned each time.

Before you could reach that point where it was too much, he stopped. You were left reeling, your mind blank.

“Do you like that?” He asked.

You were gasping for air, it couldn’t be denied that you were feeling invigorated. There was a lot to enjoy about the adrenaline dominating your system. “Yes, Daddy.”

“I don’t know why I asked. I can see by this ridiculously wet pussy that you’re liking it.” He said.

You squirmed but there wasn’t any way to cover yourself. You simply had to remain exposed to him.

“I didn’t forget about it and how needy it is.” He said, putting a hand to your pussy. You wordlessly whined when you felt him push your folds back. “I’ll give it all of the attention it needs…” He slowly laid the toy against your skin. “And then some more after that.”

He struck you, the paddle hitting directly on your exposed clitoris. It was a complete shock and your heart did a somersault, then launched into your throat. You were reminded of the intensity of orgasms in that split second.

You flinched, little squeaks falling from your mouth when he repeatedly tapped it against this spot. The pleasure was fast, you knew if it were more sustained it would entirely blow your mind.

He switched back to using the toy to spank you, using a decent amount of strength each time. There wasn’t enough time between strikes for you to recover, so you remained trapped in this state of hyper-awareness and hyper-sensitivity. You weren’t forming any complete thoughts, your mind preoccupied by these grand, continuous reactions.

“Fuck.” You burst out, feeling like you could feel your heartbeat in your clitoral hood after the most recent slap.

And it wasn’t the last. You were getting intoxicated on this combination of pleasure and pain. One accelerated the other, their power never failing.

When he eased the paddle away, you continued to feel its effects. A strong heat radiating out from your cunt. It twitched and throbbed through what felt like aftershocks.

“That’s better than me just tapping this thing on your ass, hm?” He asked.

“Fuck yes, it is.” You said.

He snapped his fingers and you lifted your head a little. “Look at me now, baby.”

Amongst all of the rushing sensations, you tried to give your concentration to him. “Yes, Ethan.”

He gave you a long look. “It’s starting to look pretty empty behind those eyes.”

“Yes, Ethan.” You replied.

He continued to study your eyes, confirming something to himself. “No thoughts, no fears, no questions, no worries, no insecurities, just pleasure.”

“Am I broken out of my mind yet?” You asked.

“You tell me.”

“I…” You felt the lack of inhibitions, the lack of shame and you started nodding. “Yes Ethan, I think I am.”

“I think I agree. But there's one way to get to the truth, a taste test.” He said and your throat tightened.

He began to get lower, lining himself up with your pussy. You were holding your breath as you watched him, preemptively feeling the pleasure of what was to come next.

He maintained that intense eye contact with you as he opened his mouth. He moved closer and you felt his warm breath on this already scorching hot area. Then there was his tongue, wet and firm as it dragged along your slit.

It felt like all of the pleasure in your body finally had a place to land and it was the start of an exciting relief. He slowly dragged his tongue back-and-forth, seemingly seeing no reason to rush.

With your chest heaving, you were poised to feel him move inside. And you knew that would be the point when the pleasure exploded inside of you.

But he took his mouth off of you instead of going deeper. You froze, confused on such a deep level.

“Yeah, I think you’ve successfully been broken out of that chaotic little prison of your mind.” He said, resting his hands on your thighs as he looked up at you. “Now, do you know how to control your orgasm? If I say you aren’t allowed to come until I’m done counting down: can you do that?”

“Um, I think so.” You said.

“Only one way to find out. I’m going to count from five to zero, and when I say zero that’s the moment that you come. But not before that.” He explained.

Words failed you so you just nodded. Internally, you panicked because controlling your orgasm while you had absolutely no control over your body seemed like an impossible feat. But you had to try for him.

He lined himself up with your pussy again, half of his face disappearing from your sight. Before saying any numbers, he extended his tongue to your entrance.

It felt like a long time before he started to count. You heard five and you curled your hands into fists as you tried to steady yourself.

But the sensations kept getting more intense, thanks to his tongue quickly swirling around your entrance. He said four, then you felt his tongue move inside a little. He kept swirling at this shallow point and your tummy clenched. You heard him say three and you started to get excited for your release.

The anticipation was crushing on your chest. But when he said two, you thought you would be able to make it.

“One.” He said after slurping noisily.

You were holding your breath as he plunged his tongue inside, to thoroughly rub it against the walls of your pussy. You felt like you were ready to float away with the pleasure.

But zero didn’t come. Instead he retracted his tongue, your pussy uselessly clenching as he repositioned.

His hands went to your butt, holding each cheek as he eased them apart. You drew in a series of shaky breaths, you were so confused and unsettled.

You felt the smooth wetness of his tongue glide across your hole. This unique experience was like a jolt through your system, surprising you enough that you didn’t know how to react.

He stroked his tongue back the other way and moaned. “Mm, virgin asshole, what a rare delicacy.”

He repeatedly licked at this secret spot. When he began to ease his tongue inside, your eyes fluttered shut. It wasn’t like anything you had felt before. The pleasure was deep, but less intense - it would need to be built upon. And it seemed that was what he intended to do, finding a new way to make you float.

The paddle was brought back to your attention when he slapped it against your pussy. He spanked it onto you repeatedly, too fast for you to recover between strikes. You were rapidly climbing up to that edge again.

It was a wonderful combination. His tongue firmly in your hole felt like it could lead to an orgasm, you were floating. But the paddle hitting you made you want to explode into your orgasm. The sharp and the sensual danced together, bringing out more need.

You were given a break from the flogging. He dragged his tongue from your asshole to your pussy. Your entire body was responding as he repeated this motion, getting into a lovely rhythm. You began to think your release was possible as this consistent pleasure took you away from feeling like a person - you were becoming nothing more than a throbbing need.

“Ethan?” You feebly began. “Aren’t you gonna finish counting?”

“Hm?” He hummed as he took his mouth off of you. “I guess I hadn’t considered it.” You bit into your lower lip, hard. “Are you saying that you could come from this?”

“Ye- ah.” You were entirely shocked when he swiftly plunged his tongue into your ass again. As your whole body clenched, he resumed his licking from one hole to the other. “Yes, please. Please Daddy, please.”

He briefly interrupted his flow to speak. “You could come like this?”

“Yes, yes. Please, yes.” You whined.

He stopped licking, now repositioning so that he could stand in front of you. You stared back at him, lost of how to react, only knowing that patience was currently beyond your limited capabilities.

“No, no, not like that. I need to see your face as you’re coming. That’s the kind of stuff Daddy likes.” He said.

Even more of his hair had come free from the tie, giving you a physical representation of how all of this effort was affecting him.

“So you’re getting very close, hm?” He asked.

You nodded as you panted heavily. You were so primed that orgasming was literally all you could think about.

“You were telling me I had the wrong house. But now look at the desperate mess you’ve become.” He said, standing close enough that you could feel his body heat. “All because of me. What a spectacular transformation.”

Your wait was concluded by him spanking your pussy with the toy. Then he turned it around, freeing the handle and holding it by the paddle.

You didn’t know what he was doing, until the handle’s rounded end was applied to your cunt. He pushed it firmly against you then manoeuvred it down, touching it to your clit.

Your throat clenched as he kept it there. Maintaining the pressure, he moved it up-and-down on the hood. You were immediately moaning, dazzled by the sensations this brought.

“Where was I up to?” He wondered aloud. Then he spoke before you could answer. “Hm, I totally forgot. I guess I’ll start over- five.”

He worked the handle consistently against your clit, making you violently tremor all over. As he slowly counted, he grabbed you by your chin. In the brief seconds when you managed to open your eyes, you saw the intense way he was watching you, not missing a single reaction.

“Two.” He reached and you began to get yourself ready to let it all go.

Trying to keep the climax back felt like you were attempting to hold fire in your hands, as a safety precaution. The energy wouldn’t stay contained for long, it was too volatile for that. And as you held it, you were still getting a little burnt.

“One.” He calmly said.

“Please Ethan, please, please…” It was an effort to get these words out due to how tight your throat was clenching. But you persisted, because you needed his mercy. “Please, please, Ethan please, please.”

He didn’t say a word as he took the toy’s handle away from you. The next sound came from you - you wailed when he spanked your clit.

You thought that if he said zero in that moment, you would have been able to come as the sensations of that hit reverberated through your system. They were powerful enough to take you down.

But the number didn’t come. When you opened your eyes, you realised that you hadn’t missed him saying it. He had simply left the room without saying it.

You didn’t know where he had gone. As your thoughts raced, your breath continued to come in faster than usual.

You checked around as much as you could manage, but you could only see his belongings. Not being touched felt so much worse than any of the pain from the paddle. The absence was crueller than his excessive teasing.

You were still short on breath when he re-entered the room, with a full glass of water in hand. Even out of his presence you hadn’t been able to relax, you had found no reason to do so.

He hadn’t fixed his hair yet. He approached you, brow furrowing. “What’s wrong with you? Why are you panting like a dog?”

“I dunno, I’m not doing it on purpose. I guess I’m just too worked up to catch my breath.” You said, feeling the labour in your lungs.

“Well I don’t need you hyperventilating and passing out.” He said. “Hanging like that isn’t going to impede you from doing breathing exercises with me, is it?”

“I don’t think so.” You said.

He had a drink. “Okay, let’s slow it down. You’re going to watch me take a deep breath and you’re going to do the same. Okay, inhale…”

“But, Ethan…” You said and he frowned. “I need to come.”

“No. What you need to do is calm down and take some deep breaths.” He said.

“But I can’t calm down right now.” You said. “You don’t understand-...”

He grabbed your chin, staring you down in a serious fashion. “You can and you will. And you’ll feel better for it. Okay, inhale through your nose…”

You copied him but your inhale was shakier than his. You held your breath when he did, but you exhaled much quicker.

He started to caress his hand along the side of your face and you let yourself be comforted by this. “Stop freaking out.” He spoke slowly to keep up this tempo of breathing. “Come back to yourself, baby. And when you do, you’ll find it makes everything feel better.”

The feeling of frenzy died off from inside of you as you improved at matching his breaths. Less of your body was stinging. Overall, you felt more sane as you watched his chest expand around another deep breath.

“See? You don’t have to tell me that I was right, because I already know that.” He said. “Water?”

“Yes, please.”

He raised the glass to your lips and carefully tipped it. The water was so smooth on your scratchy throat. Added to everything else, you were properly refreshed.

He stroked your cheek. “Do you want Daddy to let you down?”

“No, thank you.”

He helped you to have another sip before he moved to place the glass down.

When he came back, he ran his hands up-and-down your sides as he stared deeply in your eyes. “Now, let’s get to that other pressing priority of yours: you need to come.”

You didn’t care that he was mocking you. You nodded.

One of his hands went to your cheek and he drew in for a kiss. There was less to distract you, allowing you to enjoy these kisses more.

“Poor little tied up thing, you are about to get so used.” He said, and this comment registered clearly in your pussy, making it flutter.

He wrapped an arm around your waist and pressed himself to your chest as he resumed kissing you. You were looking forward again. The new taste on his lips hinted at what was ahead of you.

You interrupted before he could guide his tongue between your lips. “Ethan, I’m not gonna get pregnant, am I?”

“No, I don’t make sperm. That’s a human thing, it would be totally pointless for me.” He said.

“Oh, okay.” You said.

“Don’t worry about anything.” He said, trailing his fingertips along your spine. “Just concentrate on feeling good, darling.”

He kissed you and as you kept in rhythm with him, you felt into his body more. Now that you were calmer, you could properly feel the silent communication between your bodies.

You wrapped your free leg around his waist when he began to grind against you. All of those excited tingles came rushing back in. The intimacy allowed you to return to that state of receptiveness, making the connection of your bodies feel so significant.

“Don’t be an idiot and hold your breath.” He ordered as he rubbed his dick on your slit. “Keep taking those deep breaths, as much as you can.”

You were staring at his lips as you nodded. “Okay.”

He moved his hand to your ass, gripping you here as he applied himself to you with more pressure. This firm tempo was bringing the throbbing of your pussy back at full force. Wet sounds were accompanying his movements.

“Tell me, what’s Daddy about to do?” He asked.

Your cunt was already eagerly clenching. “Take my virginity.”

“Uh-huh, and…?” He prompted.

“Give me my wish.” You said.

“That’s right. Now be a good girl and let Daddy in.”

Your attention immediately wanted to relocate from your breathing rate when you felt the head of his dick working you open. He eased the length in, making you feel a stretch different to anything experienced before. Your heart moved up into your throat again, your excitement so ready to overflow.

He moved slowly at filling you up. He squeezed his eyes shut and let out a quick exhale. Lines formed on his face, showing you his determination.

“Fuck, that is really tight.” He said, puffing out another sharp breath.

You were feeling a little amazed that it was fitting inside. The pressure brought more blood pumping into this area, making you feel even more tender. As his hips gradually came closer to yours, your pussy kept adjusting to accommodate him.

He stopped before getting the entire shaft inside of you. “Cazzo, that is next-level tight and it’s so, so good. I’m definitely gonna have to come in this pussy.”

You were getting used to this feeling of fullness when he started to thrust. Between your walls, he smoothly moved himself back-and-forth. His tip massaged against you in the most intimate fashion. This brought new sensitivities to the forefront of your mind, dazzling you as they promised to take you to climax.

It didn’t take him long to establish a tempo, one plunge confidently following the next. It felt better than the teasing, now all of your tingles were lingering and reaching deeper. At the core of your being, you were getting ready to fall apart for him.

“Sweet girl, please tell me that you haven’t changed your mind, and now you want a gentle fuck.” He said.

“No.”

“That’s very good. Because it would be literally impossible for me to hold back when you feel this amazing around me.” He explained.

As he picked up the pace, you couldn’t help feeling so flattered. It was incredible (you probably wouldn’t have believed it at the start) that you could bring him to the point of losing control too. You felt even more connected to this stranger, feeling like the passion was so mutual. 

“Ethan, are you gonna do another countdown?” You asked.

“No, no more of that. I’m just gonna tell you when I want you to come. And when I say it, you better do it.” He said.

“Okay.” You said, nodding through all of the surging sensations.

You were filled with the most luxurious warmth. The tingles had been replaced by jolts - unpredictable and exciting, they accompanied you on this climb to the peak.

Eventually he could work all of his generous shaft into you, plunging straight for your sweet spot. Your tummy clenched and you were in disbelief over how marvellous it felt. It was what everything had been building towards, and it was better than anything that had come before.

It felt like your nerves were on fire, even when he was rocking his body weight back. Your efforts to keep your breath were now being painted with whines - the desperation you felt was impossible to hide.

The excitement only made the clenching of your inner-walls more powerful, an involuntary clamping around his length. This squeezing didn’t impede his momentum. Instead it added to the intensity, inspiring him to go even faster.

“Fuck, you’re getting me there, sweet girl.” He said as you twitched and kept losing more of yourself. “Are you close?”

Your body was full of earthquakes, the strongest one yet made you cry out before you could answer him. “Yes, so fucking close. Oh, ah…”

“Let it happen. Surrender it to me…” He ordered and you found the feeling of him driving into you slightly changed. There was an extra heat, something that felt like splashing. “Surrend-uh, um, oh fuck.”

This new sensation continued, allowing you to identify it as his cock unloading into you. You savoured the feeling of him marking you so deep.

He drove himself the whole way forward one last time, delivering him to your sweet spot. And he stayed there, grinding on you as you clenched up, every muscle tensing.

Then you started to rupture. On every possible level, you were overwhelmed by the pleasure.

Soon the satisfaction took you away and you transcended absolutely everything. You didn’t feel the ropes restricting you, you didn’t feel him. You could feel only bliss, like a white light guiding you.

You accepted the tiredness as it seeped in, exacerbating how weak you were. You kept your eyes shut, even as you felt your body gently being jostled around.

Before you had the chance to notice the change, you felt yourself being laid on something soft. You opened your eyes to discover that you were back in your bedroom. You could freely move your limbs about again. You were still naked, and so was the man in the room with you.

Ethan didn’t join you on the bed and you got the impression that now was the time to take your last looks at him. You curled onto your side, moving back to almost the same position you had been in when he had awoken you by knocking on the door.

“If I go into your bathroom, will I find some kind of washcloth, to get that load off of your face?” He asked, speaking with no edge to his tone.

“Yeah, it’s the last-”

He cut off your instructions before you could properly get started. “I know where it is.”

Once he was gone, you redirected your gaze to where you kept a bottle of water on the nightstand. With a tender arm, you reached out and collected it.

You got distracted before you could have a sip, your eyes going to the alarm clock’s glowing numbers. 3.33.

Assuming it was broken, you sought the second opinion of the clock on your phone. You picked up the device and activated the screen, just for it to report the exact same time. This was confusing, but you weren’t alert enough to try to figure out the how or why.

Ethan returned, a damp cloth in hand. He crouched down beside your bed and began to gently wipe at your face.

“How do you feel, honey?” He asked. His gaze was just as intense as before.

And you were blushing. “Distinctly un-virginal.”

“You just stay where you are. I don’t need you to show me to the door, or anything.” He said, working the cloth over your entire face.

“So that’s it, then?” You asked.

“Yep. I will get my shit together and just disappear into the night.” He said. “Wham, bam, you can thank me, ma’am.”

“How do I know the deal is officially done?” You asked.

“For fuck’s sake, can’t you just take my word for it? I don’t have a receipt you can keep.” He said.

“Okay.”

“We didn’t sign a contract on paper. We signed it with our bodies.” He said.

“Right, and that’s a very new concept for me. But I’ll try to remember that.” You said.

He was smirking as he finished cleaning the dried cum off of your face. “I don’t think you’ll have any trouble remembering every part of this night.” He got to his feet. “Now, rest.”

You watched as he began to leave the room. Even though you knew that you had to let him go, you worried that all of the good you were feeling would go with him. “Goodbye, Ethan.”

He turned off the light on his way out and you kept watching, until he was entirely gone from your sight. You drank some water, listening to the noises of him preparing to depart. It was ending, the only way for your mood to go was down.

You heard the front door close behind him. Now the green numbers on the clock read 3.34.

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reflections from you? ---- does the suspension frame fit back into his jacket? (or does he leave it at her house?) - will she tell her friends? - did she make the right wish? - favourite nickname he called her? - will she try to summon him a second time?

[hischierswhore]

drunk calls

pairing: Christian Pulisic x Reader

TW: mentions of alcohol // drinking // mentions of a breakup

Your break up with Christian, your boyfriend of 2 years, definitely took a toll on you. You isolated yourself from the outside world, preferring to stay in the comfort of your home, not wanting to risk being hurt again. You found yourself thinking about him, even after a month. In fact, you've only been able to think about him since the moment he walked out the front door of your apartment.

And that brings us here: you're sitting in bed, staring blankly at your laptop as your mind drifts back to when you last saw his gorgeous smile...and wondering how in the hell things got so screwed up between the two of you.

When did everything go wrong? How could it be possible for you and the love of your life to become nothing more than strangers after everything you'd been through together?

As you think, the clock ticks away over on the wall, reminding you that it is now almost 2 am. What was supposed to have been an easy evening at home with just a little bit of internet browsing turned into hours spent dwelling on what went wrong between the pair of you.

-

"Y/n, I'm telling you. You need to go out and stop torturing yourself" your friend Sadie says in exasperation as she sits down beside you on your sofa.

"I know it hurts, but you can't live like this forever" For a moment, you let out a pitiful groan, burying your head in your hands, causing your friend to put her arm around you, giving you a comforting hug.

"It just doesn't make any sense. We loved each other" You say as you lift your head to stare directly at your closest confidant, needing to see her face for some sort of reassurance.

"I know you loved him, but he broke your heart, Y/n. There's no going back from that" She replies with her own personal version of sympathy, leaning in closer to whisper in your ear.

"How about we go out tonight?" She suggests quietly, resting her chin upon your shoulder. Her suggestion makes sense; you don't want to sit alone at home while you replay the whole situation again and again in your head.

"We can find a club, get drunk, dance all night long..." She starts, but you don't let her finish her sentence before you're nodding your head in agreement. The very thought of doing something as pointless as drinking until you feel numb seems strangely appealing right now.

"Great idea, come on, lets go!" You both stand up from your seats, making your way to your bedroom to get dressed.

-

As you and Sadie entered the club, you both made a beeline for the bar. Tonight would be a good night to start getting drunk. If you were honest with yourself, you just wanted to forget all about Christian and drown your sorrows in alcohol.

At least, that's what you hoped.

You took your first sip of a dark red wine, savouring the taste and feeling it run smoothly down your throat, before taking another sip. Sadie drank two glasses of wine before calling it a night, stating that she was the designated driver for the pair of you. You, on the other hand, decided to push the envelope a little more, ordering 2 more drinks at the bar, downing them almost immediately.

You couldn't remember the last time you felt this free, having gotten completely hammered on just 3 drinks. At times, the lights seemed to turn on their side, spinning dizzyingly as they circled the room, accompanied by flashing colors of purple, orange and green.

The rest of the night was a blur. You vaguely remember Sadie telling you that she was leaving to go hookup with some dude she met at the bar, abandoning you at the club, drunk and alone.

After another hour, you decided you wanted to leave, so you turned on your phone and scrolled through your contacts and tapped on the one you were most used to calling.

Christian.

"Pick up pick up pick up" You drunkenly mumbled to yourself.

"Y/n???"

"Oh my god, heyyyy. Your voice is like, really hot right now"

"Y/n... you sound drunk...where are you?"

"What do you mean where am I? I'm at a club with Sadie. Duh." You mumbled, before taking a deep breath.

"Well, Sadie left to go get some, but I'm still here. You know, enjoying the vibes" Your speech was slurring as you spoke.

"Y/n, I know you're probably drunk off your ass right now, but please stay right where you are. I'm coming to get you" You sat in silence for a few seconds before realizing he had actually hung up.

-

Less than 5 minutes later, Christian had arrived at the club. He only knew which club you were at because that was the only club you liked going to. He jumped out of his car and raced inside to find you. As he cut through the crowds, he saw you sitting on one of the leather couches. He let out a breath of relief as he approached you.

"Hey sweetheart" His warm voice pulled you from your thoughts of the different colors you saw floating throughout the club. It felt as though you had sobered up almost instantaneously just by hearing his voice.

He pulled you up gently, placing his hands under your armpits and supporting your weight against his chest, carrying you out of the building. As he stepped outside onto the sidewalk, he placed you into the passenger seat. He sat behind the wheel of the car, glancing over at you before beginning his drive.

"Drink this. It'll help" He handed you a bottle of water to help you sober up.

"So what exactly were you doing at a club with Sadie?" He cleared his throat before speaking, leaning forward slightly in his seat to gaze through the windshield.

"Trying to forget" you replied honestly, keeping your eyes focused ahead of you while slowly drinking the water bottle. Christian quickly glanced at you as you answered.

"What were you trying to forget about?" He questioned.

"That's a stupid question" You retorted dryly before you looked at him, unable to read his expression due to your current state.

"You... and us..." You whispered, feeling sorry for yourself. A frown appeared on Christian's lips as he listened to your confession.

"Why did you want to forget about us?"

"Because it hurts too much to think about what we had and then it all suddenly got taken away from me" You buried your head deeper into your lap, wishing you hadn't spoken up. He inhaled deeply through his nose, letting out a shaky exhale before speaking again.

"I don't know why I did it" He added. He heard you sniffle loudly, so he reached over to squeeze your hand reassuringly.

"I know you may hate me, but I do love you. I don't want you to feel like it was anything you did. It was all my fault" He continued softly.

"You don't need to carry around guilt for things that weren't your fault. Don't punish yourself for my stupidity" You nodded, gazing out of the window instead of looking at him. He sighed, rolling his shoulders as he kept his eyes fixed on the road ahead. You had never been so close to tears.

"I hope you know that I don't hate you" You finally found yourself speaking up, your voice shakier than ever. Christian turned his head to face you.

"I couldn't possibly hate you, Chris. I love you too much to do that" You whispered before turning to meet his eyes. He smiled sadly, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you towards him.

-

Once he had driven to your house, he helped guide you out of the car and up to your front door. You handed him the key, allowing Christian to turn the lock and open the door before guiding you inside. He led you upstairs, opening your bedroom door and leading you to your bed.

"I'll go grab you some make-up wipes. You just uh... stay here and get changed into something comfy" He whispered as he disappeared into your bathroom.

While he was gone, you took advantage of the opportunity and changed into a pair of sweatpants and a random hoodie. Moments later, Christian walks back in with a pack of wipes in hand. He freezes as the sight of you.

"Is that my hoodie?" His question causes you to look down and take a look at what you were wearing. It was indeed his hoodie.

"Oh, yeah I guess it is. Do you want it back-" You asked but were cut off mid-sentence.

"No, keep it. It looks better on you anyways" He gave you a soft smile before removing one makeup wipe from the package and wiping it across your face.

"Thank you" You murmured as you watched him put away the unused ones. An awkward tension filled the room as you both sat in silence.

"Did you really mean it? When you said you still love me?" You questioned the man in front of you.

"I wouldn't lie about that, Y/n. I don't think I'll ever love anyone as much as I love you. Even though I'm an absolute idiot, I want to make us work" He admitted.

"Then how about we give it another try?" You stated firmly.

"I'd really like that" He smiled at you, before pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead as he made his way to the exit.

"Chris" You shouted in attempt to grab his attention. He turned around at the mention of his name.

"Stay with me, please" You gave him a look and he knew he wouldn't be able to say no to you. Having already been in a pair of sweatpants, Christian slid into bed next to you, initially keeping himself at a far enough distance to not make you uncomfortable, but you pulled him closer to you anyways.

You laid in his arms as you began to feel yourself fall into a deep slumber, his hands slowly rubbing your back.

"I love you, princess" was all that could be heard as you were finally fell asleep in Christian's arms once again.

-

TAGLIST

@ithinkimokeei @myheartgoesvroom @mounthings @tall-tanned-tattoo @itsnotgray @alwaysclassyeagle @charlewiss @pianoisland @chelseagirl98 @lovelynikol16 @username-envy

[chilling-seavey]

✦ ✎ ✿(Love Thy Neighbor), ▵(Enchante), ❖ (Love Thy Neighbor x George, his Grass, and his Girl) I tried to have some self control. May have failed.

✎ how do you think readers would guess a fic was yours if you posted anonymously?

Probably because my xReaders are written with height unmentioned (so there's no 'he leaned down to kiss you' or 'your tiny frame' vibes). I'm a tall girlie and I'm very aware of the small-girl bias in fics so I try to be as generic as I can with xReader to include many heights LOL Or just lengthy descriptions about George and fawning over him and his 'princely features' and various minor descriptions of him that aren't often talked about (the way his mouth moves when he speaks, his small fidgeting habits, etc.)

✿ did anything major change when you started writing [fic] to when you finished? - Love Thy Neighbour

Honestly, with this one, no! That one kind of stretched just as is beginning to end. I debated having Andrew find out but I was really appealed by the open ending and his blind ignorance to allow the reader to have a sense of pity for him as a secondary character.

▵ pick a fic and I’ll tell you my favorite line - Enchanté

Then, he offered with a voice so rich and smooth you felt it in your soul, “I have a complimentary bottle of champagne back at the hotel that won’t drink itself.” OR He asked it softly, gently, with his hand trailing over your shoulder and your collarbones and down the neckline of your blouse, “So you’ve never had cum on your tits before?”

❖ pick 2 fics and I’ll combine them somehow - LTN/TWIG

Okay but TWIG in the 1980s?! That would eat ngl. Maybe even TWIG George still cannon in F1 but he's got his cute little family and his nice plot of land. And this George would never dream of cheating on his wife. Imagine their new neighbour starts to come onto him?? He'd literally turn to his wife and be like 'omg can you believe this woman?' and his wife would be like 'you will never see our neigbours ever again x'

[moyazaika]

Work just ended and I decided to get back and see what I missed while I was getting used to my work. I’m doing all of this while my dad, who also speaks and understands English perhaps to a lesser degree than me, is next to me. Sometimes you just need some adrenaline to remind you that you’re alive.

Regarding Indulgence. I think I’ve said it before, but honestly the way you write makes me feel defenseless. You make me want to analyze and pick apart what you’ve written just for the sake of both properly appreciating everything and just… understating. I can’t even express what I’m feeling right now. I feel like Gollum, your writing is the ring.

TWO TONGUES??? IM IN. Been a while since I read something that has a monster, more in the physical sense. “—that i’m not some big. bad. monster.” IM- IM HITTING THE TABLE, IM- “and this time, when he finds you (and he will; for there is no way you can outrun your own shadow)” I’m in love with the way you write. I’m speechless, I want to ask a million questions and just,,,, I don’t feel like what I want to say makes sense. BUT IM KAYDJQJSBQBSNBBQBS

Reading the jaded lawyer reader and the yan crime kingpin. Forget the yan, I don’t know whatever I want to be darling or if I want them. Nevermind, I also want the yan. Love the dynamic. There’s something about the banter that just scratches an itch in my brain, I just love all of this. Keep feeding me this good stuff pretty please. As long as you’re free and wish to do so, of course. Remember to rest properly.

Just finished the extra. I’m obsessed and deeply concerned for darling. Fly high darling, I know you’re not making it out alive. 🕊️ Man’s got nothing to lose, he already has nothing but his life and he doesn’t even seem to care.

By the way, I was once spacing out while working and ended thinking about red because why not. I think you once said that both the yans and red had that certain desesperation that seemed appealing to me, so I began to wonder what exactly made them so interesting to me. I ended getting obsessed with a edit that is unrelated to the point, but it’s was a Taylor’s song and there’s this certain part that reminded me of Red.

“And I love you, it's ruining my life

(I love you, it's ruining my life)

I touched you for only a fortnight

(I touched you) but I touched you”

I love the “But I touched you” part. Because, like, I feel it doesn’t really talk about physical touch. It’s something deeper, at least I felt so and in a clip of the video it seems to show so. The first time I ever came to see Red was in the overly amazing anarchy fic. That story was absolutely amazing I still remember crying at night over it. Anyways, it shows a domestic scene and perhaps that’s what made me crave them. I think that at least to a certain degree, yans win. At least from what I’ve seen and remember, they get darling and end murdering Red or doing whatever to get him away. Red doesn’t win. They seem aware of the fact that they won’t win. Why do they keep trying? What’s so important that they repeat the same mistake over and over again? And you could perhaps say that seems kinda obsessive of them. It’s almost pitiful, but there’s something that I love about tragic characters.

Btw, in the fic with Dean (the one that inspired me to draw Red) there was this other character that was all lovely dovely with Red. At least from what I remember. I’m not proud to say that the first time I read that his name was Freddy (can’t remember if that’s how it was spelled, I don’t care. Man stole my spouse 🫵 /jk) my first thought was Freddy Fazbear. Anyways, if said love was mutual, then Red could be taken out of the equation. I mean, they don’t show romantic interest in darling (I think), so that somehow makes me think that they’re somehow safe in that regard. I love to think about the different implications. And, even if it somehow pains me to see my beloved with someone else /jk, I would be glad to think that they’re somehow safe. Meanwhile darling is crawling into the wolf’s den. Way to go babe, hope you make it out in one piece. 🕊️

So I was writing this in my notes app and forgot to send it. It’s been hours since my shift ended but I didn’t want to edit certain stuff. Now, how are you doing? Have you been eating properly? Drinking enough water? Please remember to take care of yourself, I know you’ll achieve great things and your efforts will be rewarded, but do remember to treat yourself kindly.

- ❤️‍🩹 anon, apologies for sending long paragraphs. I know you said that you wanted to empty your ask inbox and I feel guilty.

NONONO do NOTTT ever apologise for sending an ask i love long asks like this the most and i promise i don’t mind!!! and even tho i am clearing out older ones, interactions like this are like the fuel that keep me writing on tumblr so dON’T APOLOGISEE

i hope works been going well nepo baby LOLOL no but truly it can be so daunting when u know ur working later that day so i’m sure you’re doing great and i’m rooting for ya !! :)

DEFENSELESS!?$)!?!??!$2$& i’m losing my marbles that’s the best compliment you could’ve ever given me nonnie T_T thank u so much,, gOllumAND THE RING NOWOSOSII that’s taking me out 😭😭😭 “my precioussss my preciousss” well then you’re the gold and i’m smaug 😜

i love monsters in the more abstract sense like wdym the monster is just. your own shadow. what. i’m working on something rn where the monster in question is childhood nostalgia or childhood fears and i’m veeeery excited for u to read that !!!!! altho two tongues is always a bonus too in a more physical sense 😝😝

i fully agree with you yan kingpin needs to be put down he’s like a mad dog but lawyer darling helloooo handsome!!!! wdym they’re bossy and no nonsense and never lose a case,,, they’re gonna be winning another case when the court decides to give me a restraining order for how much i love them 🙏🏽😭😭😭 i love darlings colder or more nonchalant than the actual yan it’s so fun 🤲🏽🤲🏽 even tho that means the darling is more attractive to me than the yan HAHHH 😭😭

FREDDY FAZBEAR NOSOSODOSO i actually forgot his name too i haven’t touched that trilogy in so long oops but yeah you’re right in saying red holds no (?) romantic attraction towards reader, but i’m still not sure if that makes them safe. i know i keep teasing u with this amazing backstory they have but trust me one day i’ll write it out and post it and i think you’ll realise all the pieces fitting together :’) but for now, i can only say so much cus i want it to be as satisfying as possible for u when u do read it.

yea thank u for asking lovely!! i’ve been tryna drink 1L a day because i want to cut back on consuming mindless junk food, and i heard it keeps you fuller so hopefully it goes well :p i hope you’re also taking care of yourself <3

[kakusu-shipping]

I think me and you might have two different pictures regarding the pig reader. I was picturing the most ever “Fuck it. we ball” bitch on the planet. That reader that I'm imagining couldn't win and then immediately went for The Silly To survive. 

Probably not realistic at all. It is a bit more of an OC character with a second personal narrative. Maybe a bit of a Mary Sue? I don't know, I just think it's interesting.

As Someone having a battle of wills against the Luca Blight over how much Miserable Non-sexual pet play that they would do without him even saying a damn word is the kind of dark comedy I can get behind. Are you determined enough? How much of a good actor are you to act like an obedient little piggy? How long can you last holding yourself together? How much can you take and still know that you are a human deep inside? How much do you have to bury to survive? How long can this act last before you get consumed? Or can you be clever enough to get yourself out without revealing yourself to be smarter than you should? All you know is that you should never stand up and absorb as much as you can and try to keep yourself as sane as possible. you will get through this. This Little Piggy has a life worth fighting for. (((What's got to be done to make this work? How are you going to appeal to him?)))) You're not going to come out of this unscathed but you're going to come out of this No Matter What. 

(((This thought probably came from How I Probably cuz I really can't comprehend somebody doing for any amount of time In this particular scenario involving Luca blight Without Either being absolute batshit insane or completely cracked out in deceit and determination.  (To be fair being pathetic is totally an option but man does anyone want to be that pathetic?)))

Am I honestly asking for an unconventional badass reader in this situation? Yes actually. Can we split this in two versions cuz I think both are very valid. Mind breaking with agony due to a great fear of death versus strong-willed piggy with no shame, willing to do anything. (((Not to say that the reader in the mind breaks the Submissive Pig thing can't be strong nor is incredibly valid, of course. any reader got to be to last this long but man is that such a nearly inconceivable dark spot to even think about let alone wright geez. I like to explore all angles still )))

I actually think we're very much on the same page with this reader's strength, anon. Where you are on the outside and seeing the inherent hilarity of the situation, I'm simply writing it from the perspective of Luca Blight projecting onto the reader.

To him you are lowly. To bow your head and eat whatever scraps he's willing to give you. To oink and squeal and stare with empty eyes. To do anything, even give up your pride, to survive. He sees what he wants to see with you, a pathetic thing desperate to live, like himself all those years ago captured by a city state. It is the way of being human, a way he's long sense abandoned. He finds humor in seeing it on full display.

But you're right, the reader is strong. They made a choice and they stick by it and they are strong for it. How long are they willing to bow their head, to be treated as an animal, to be looked down upon and shamed. They don't feel that shame but it is there, in the pitying eyes of Jowy Atreides, in the mocking laugh of Rowd, in the way the Windamiers refuse to acknowledge them. It's there, it is not felt but it is there and it is known.

The one thing I've yet to wrap my head around is the reader's feelings for Luca. You'd expect resentment, hatred, for the man who burned your village and murdered your friends and family and now owns you like a personal pet. Who laughs at you and yells at you and threatens you with a sword daily before once again collapsing into hysterics upon looking at your face.

Perhaps it's pity, to be so near Luca Blight, like no one has ever been before, is to see the little things, to hear the fear crack in his voice before he raises it louder while speaking to himself in his chamber. To see him loose sleep, to skip meals, to randomly burst into rage unfit for a king and destroy his chambers before collapsing into a fit of hysterical laughter amongst the destruction. You know something awful happened to him, that he may have lived like you are now once upon a time.

I think I've landed on indifference. Like how Luca cares naught for you, you care naught for Luca. You are his pig, a creature he keeps around for entertainment, and you stay for food and the warmth of his bed and safety so long as you stay as you are. This is the exchange. It is one of chance, of happen stance, anyone could have been here in his room resting on a pillow by his feet. But it's you. Oh so stubborn you.

This little piggy has a life worth fighting for.

[hereforhalstead]

Period Pains

*Gif not mine, credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader.

• Requested: Nope! Just fancied some soft!Jay

• Warnings: pure fluff besties 

• Summary: Jay looks after you as you experience a rough period, unlike anything you’ve felt before. 

• Words: 2482.

• A/N : When I tell you this is the ugliest thing I’ve ever written lmao. I’m so weak for soft!Jay at the moment and had just came on my period when i started this  a few weeks ago.. I have a few ongoing requests at the moment that I’m working on, promise I’m not ignoring them but I just don’t want to post them until I’m happy with them! 

Hope you enjoy!

You notice the bed beside you dip with Jay’s weight as he joins you, fresh from the shower as you feel the heat radiating from him. You attempt to shift and face him, craving the feeling of having your head against his chest with the rhythm of his heartbeat soothing you to sleep. You wince as a cramp hits your stomach, slinging your arm across your stomach as a natural reflex for when the wave of pain arises. 

Jay places a hand on the edge of your shoulder, gripping round your skin as he moves your hair to one side to place a delicate kiss to the exposed shoulder blade “Stay facing that way, I’ll be able to rub your stomach” he whispers into the nape of your neck and causing a shiver to run down your spine at the softness of his words. 

You happily do as you’re told, still in somewhat of a half consciousness as you doze in and out of sleep with the thought of knowing he was there beside you helping the pain drift away. 

“Life your hips for me baby” he softly demands, encouraging you to lift your side for just a few seconds to allow him to slip his arm under you to rest a hand on your stomach “You’re burning up” he tuts, removing the hot water bottle you had pressed against you and placing it on the the other side of the bed “Don’t want you getting too warm, you’ll make yourself ill”. 

His firm tone made your heart flutter, he always had your best interests at heart and made the smallest of actions seem natural to him. You’d happily let yourself curl up under a blanket with a hot water bottle until you were burning hot but it would always leave you feeling faint and you’d end up cooling off in a cold bath or shower which really defeated the object..

You laid in a comfortable silence with Jay, cursing under your breath as another wave of pain hit "Why am I a girl” you mocked, digging your head further into your pillow as some form of distraction. Jay would take it in his stride, dropping a kiss to your back and chuckling as you swear under your breath to take your mind off the intense cramps. 

The motion of Jay rubbing his hand softly over your stomach didn’t stop, you expected it to after a while but it never did. He was constantly tracing shapes across your skin, running his fingernails back and forth under your shirt and laughing as you occasionally flinched if it tickled. Whether it was a placebo affect or not, the cramps would ease under his touch and helped you get a brief moment of sleep. 

You awoke just under an hour later to an empty bed, turning over to see the covers thrown back and Jay’s side of the bed vacant made your heart sink. He was the one helping you through this and even though the painkillers had kicked in, you still missed him just being beside you.

You would often be the first one up in the mornings, heading to the gym before work or just wanting to be awake to make him a morning coffee meant you weren’t used to being in bed alone. He was always there with you, even when you teased him for how long the pair of you would spend in bed on your days off, you loved it and wouldn’t want it any other way. 

In replacement of Jay’s hand, you must’ve reached for the hot water bottle in your sleep and that was a mistake. You were now sweating, the clothes clinging to your skin as it glistens with sweat, feeling clamy and gross wasn’t what you needed right now.

Trudging over to the bathroom and catching a glimpse of yourself in the mirror was an instant regret, you were hunched to try and relieve the cramps, hair disheveled and your body was covered in red blotches from the hot water bottle. If you didn’t feel horrendous before, you did now. 

You always worried in your relationship that you weren’t good enough for Jay, he woke up and looked perfect, would finish an intense workout and look like a sports model or even concentrating on some paperwork he would look flawless and here you were looking the complete opposite.

You let out a deep sigh, running your fingers through your hair in some attempt to regain a sense of decency but there was no point. Your feelings were being intensified from your period and leaving you feeling worse than ever, wanting to curl up in bed and cry was seeming most appealing but before you can enjoy a good ole pity cry you hear the keys turning in the lock.

Quickly wiping the tears from your face and using Jay’s tshirt that you were currently wearing to try and remove the stains from your cheek was useless, you panicked. Jay seemed to have unnatural ability to tell when you’re not feeling yourself, and this is no exception. Just from taking one look at you he’d be able to tell you were upset and you didn’t want that to be the case, you’d already had a pity day and the last thing he needed was to see you were feeling worse. 

You chugged some water that he had left on the side and took another glance at yourself in the mirror, the red blotches had made their way to your neck so were now much more visible and your normal cheery smile was no where to be seen. 

“Baby?” you hear Jay call out, rustling around with some bags in the kitchen before making his way over to the room you shared. You were sat on the edge of the bed with your arms folded across your stomach, leant forward in pain as you rested your head on your knees.

His heart pulled at the sight, you were in pain and there was nothing he could do about it. He prided himself on always doing whatever he could to help you in any given situation and not being able to take away the hurt was killing him. He’d helped you through many periods in the past but this was the worst one by far, you’d be able to take some paracetamol and carry on but this was defeating you.

You barely had a chance to respond before you heard the footsteps getting louder as he made his way towards you, letting out a deep sigh as he sees you scrunched over in pain. The noise of bags rustling comes to a stop as he crouches down in front of you, resting his hand on the back of your neck and the other on your knee to hold himself steady as he balances.

“What happened baby?” his smooth voice was music to your ears, he didn’t even have to do anything and he was already soothing you more than you ever could. You sniffed before bringing your attention onto him, watching as his eyes soften when he see’s the redness in your cheeks and the hurt in your gaze. 

“Nothing” you lie through your teeth, already knowing he won’t fall for it but thinking it was worth a shot. Instead of giving you the normal ‘are you forgetting how well I know you?’ speech, he simply tilted his head to the side and lifted his hand to rest on the side of your face with a doting look “We’ll talk about it later”.

You were grateful for how well he knew you, knowing not to push you and that you weren’t in the mood to be interviewed like a suspect. Normally you loved it, thinking it was cute how he always craved to prove how well he knew you and could tell you were off just by a simple look but in doing this he knew best to leave it until you were ready. 

“Did you have to go back to work?” you question, still absentmindidly leaning into Jay’s touch as he gently moves his thumb back and forth to caress your cheekbone. A simple shake of his head made you smile, you were secretly hoping you’d have him to yourself so when you awoke to the empty bed you just assumed he’d been called in. 

You couldn’t hide the frown that formed as he removed his hand and stood in front of you, reaching for something on the bed as you stayed hunched over below him. “I got your favourite ice cream” he comments, holding the tub out to you with a grin spreading on his face as your eyes light up “I thought they stopped selling it?” you questioned, already peeling off the plastic from the lid. 

“They did in our local, I asked around and drove to the only place they said still sells it” the pride in his voice was unlike anything you’d heard before as he carried on rummaging around the bag before pulling out 3 more tubs “Didn’t know how many you wanted so I stocked up” he chuckled, placing the tubs back into the bag and watching as you nibble round the edge of the container, too impatient to wait for a spoon.

“You don’t want these then?” you looked round to see him holding a family size bag of crisps, a handful of candy bars and even a box of your favourite instant hot chocolate that you used to have as a child. “How did you know” you probe, reaching for the box and examining the text.

Struggling to remember the last time you saw the packaging in a shop, let alone holding it in your hands. The box feeling so much smaller than it used to from when you were young, bounding to the cashier with 5 or 6 boxes to buy with your pocket money.

 “On our first date we passed a shop that sold them and I’ll never forget the look on your face. You told me how your mum would always make you one if you were having a bad day and they’d always make you feel better” he smiled and could feel the tears brimming in your eyes.

You and Jay had been together nearly 8 months and he still remembered the tinist detail from your first date, something you had even forgotten about. A little remark you made as you passed the shop on the way back to the car park, not thinking much of it as who would remember about a box of instant hot chocolate that probably didn’t even taste good? Jay did.

“Get into bed and I’ll get some bowls for these” he collects the items and puts them back into the bag, his tone still gentle despite the excitement you knew he had inside from presenting you with everything you needed without being asked.

You shook your head, standing to wrap your arms around his torso. Nestling your head into his chest as you feel it vibrate from a silent laugh “I told you to get into bed baby” you felt the shivers run down your spine as he rested his hand on the back of your head, allowing his hand to roam up and down your back in a soft motion. 

“What did I do to deserve you” you mumble into his chest, feeling him rest his head on top of yours as his hand settled on your lower back to push you further into him “So I did good?” you could practically hear the smirk on his lips, pulling back to examine the glowing grin peering back at you as his eyes glistened.

You reached to place a light kiss to his lips, a soft kiss that told him everything he needed to know “Are you gonna make me tell you to get into bed again?” he joked, tapping your back to retract yourself from him. Begrugingly you did so, already feeling the slight cold from the lack of contact you now craved from him. 

Picking the bags up from the bed to pull back the blanket, you felt the weight of something still in the bottom. You opened the carriers to see what must’ve been atleast 5 boxes of different sanitary products rolling around in the bags “What’s this?” you asked, confused as to why he went out of his way to buy you the snacks but you never would’ve expected him to know what products to buy you, or atleast try and guess as you always joked about how little men knew about the whole thing. 

“I didn’t know if you needed any” his voice was timid, reaching to rub the back of his neck with his hand which was a sign of nervousness you’d picked up on over the past few months . “Jay, how much do you think I bleed?” you were grateful to see the corners of his lips lift in a smile “Well, I realised I’ve never bought you any so I wanted to get a few so I had more of a chance of getting the right ones” he admitted, your hands falling to your sides as you allowed the bag to drop to the floor. 

Your feet were bounding over to him before you could even think, all you wanted to do was throw your arms around him as you had no words for everything he had done. “I can’t believe how much I love you” your voice slightly cracked as you felt the lump rise to your throat, as much as Jay loved to care for you, you never would've expected this. 

“I’m sorry I can’t take the pain away” you felt him plant a kiss to the top of your head, another one of his small guestures that made you week at the knees without him even knowing. “You’ve helped more than you’ll ever know” you smiled into him, cringing at your cheesy confession but knowing he loves to hear these things from you, adding to his ego of how well he looks after you. 

You both stood in a comfortable silence, basking in each other presence with the simplicity of the background noises coming from the streets below. From someone looking on, the way you were standing probably didn’t look very comfortable. The way you were entangled together, your arms hanging from his neck as his moved around your body to press his fingertips in the various parts he knew you were probably feeling pain. When Jay finally breaks the silence, he mutters the words that at the moment sounded better than ‘i love you’ when they fell from his lips “Do you want some ice cream, baby?” 

**

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[silverhairsimp]

Alone - Frozen Hearts Collab

Here is my submission for @kingkatsuki and @bakuroo-writings Frozen Hearts Collab! Thank you so much for letting me be a part of this! Go show all the others some love!

Summary: Life was good on your own until you got a taste of what it felt like to be wanted. It didn't last long and now you're left to deal with the consequences, alone.

CW: Quirkless AU, dabi still has his scars, smut, angst, angst, angst. Reader comes from a rough background - Mentions of foster care. Unprotected sex. Pregnancy/unwanted pregnancy(one sided). Dabi is a piece of shit in this I'm so sorry. cheating? but not in an established relationship. Abandonment. ALL CHARACTERS ARE AGED UP. NSFW. 18+

Word Count: 8,744

Life was never particularly good to you. You were forced to grow up far too quickly for a 15 year old - having to deal with parents who didn’t want you and becoming very independent at a young age. Repeatedly going in and out of a system that could give a shit where you ended up. You were never wanted and life became so much easier when all you had to worry about was you. With no ties, no responsibilities, no one to care about and no one else to look after; and for the last 8 years, you’ve done just fine. Making ends meet where they need to. Bouncing around from job to job, city to city. You’d be lying to yourself if you said it wasn’t lonely being alone. But this was for the better. You didn’t have the time or energy to invest in something like a friendship, let alone a relationship. It was never a guarantee how long you’d be in any particular place and you’d rather save yourself the heartache.

The last few months have been particularly difficult. Not being able to keep a steady income, losing your housing and trying to feed yourself has become more of a struggle than you’d like to admit. Things had never been this bad for you before. As you walk down a busy street, not sure where you’re headed, you start to wonder why. Why you? Why didn’t anyone want you? Why were you such a burden to everyone your entire life? Why couldn’t things just be easy for once? Before you knew it, your vision was blurred by tears and your hearing was drowned out by the sound of your heart beating in your ears and stomach grumbling. When was the last time I ate? You couldn’t remember.

Your emotions began to take over you as the tears continued to fall on your cheeks. Lost in whatever emotional, self-pitied trance you were in, you had lost track of time and location. Wandering and wandering and wandering until your feet would give out from under you.

The sound of a car horn blaring as you stepped into the middle of the street has finally brought you to your senses. Turning around quickly to step back onto the curb, crashing into a tall, lean figure. Your eyes come off the ground to meet his.

“Now what’s a pretty girl like you doing with her head hung so low?” The stranger asked you as his hands gripped both of your arms.

You didn’t know how to answer the strange man in front of you. His scarred body and stapled face made you stare longer than you had intended. He looked so scary and unapproachable, but something about him was so appealing, so delicate. His soft grasp on your arms didn’t match the rough edges of his appearance. Looking into his bright turquoise eyes and his relaxed features forced you to wipe your tear stained cheeks with your sleeve. Trying to compose yourself and find the words to stomach a response for his question.

Until he speaks again, “Whats’a matter? Y’arlight doll?”

You weren't sure how you felt about the pet name coming from a stranger, but something about it was so oddly inviting. Trying to ignore that voice in your head telling you that you wanted to hear more of it. Which was very unlike you to want something so asinine.

As you clear your throat and blink a few times to center yourself, you pull away from his grasp and finally mutter a response.

“I’m fine. Not that it’s any of your concern.” You say sharply.

“Oooh, feisty aren’t we? I like ‘em like that.” He lets out a low chuckle, “And y’know.. I think I’ll make it my concern.”

You can’t help but huff and simultaneously cross your arms as you roll your eyes at the man in front of you.

“C’mon Doll, what’s your name?”

There’s that god damned nickname again… for some reason, the more you want it to annoy you, it does the complete opposite. You want to hear more, but you still say nothing. You didn’t have time to get involved with someone. With anyone. Right? So why are you letting yourself?

“Fine, I'll go first. Name’s Dabi. From the looks of it you look like you could use a shower and some food. Whataya say?” he smiles down at you, offering you his hand, palm up.

What the fuck is this feeling? Why do I feel so vulnerable right now… and even worse… why do I feel okay with it? Is all you can ask yourself before taking his hand and finally giving him your name.

“Y/n. You can call me y/n.”

He pulls you in against his hip as you start to walk hand in hand. He looks at you with such a doting smile. “Pretty. Suits you.” He says before looking back up to the street in front of you.

Words don’t physically come out of your mouth, but the rosiness rushing across your face is all the response this stranger needs from you.

“Where are we going anyway?” you ask, slightly annoyed tone laced in between your words.

“Toldja. Food and getting you a shower. Maybe a fresh set’a clothes.” Dabi responds.

“The fuck is wrong with my clothes huh?” you snap. Removing your hand from his, taking a step away from his side.

“Woah, calm down. I just mean it looks like you’ve been through the ringer. Just tryna help,”

“I don’t need your help. Or a pity party. Been on my own for years now, I don’t need some stranger turning me into their fucking project.”

“Guess I should’ve expected that. I was just trying to help out a pretty girl like yourself. Wouldn’t mind gettin’ t’know ya either. That okay with you?”

There it goes again. His vibrant turquoise eyes bore down deeply into yours. You should be upset. You should keep your guard up. You don’t need saving. You’ll be just fine on your own. You don’t need anyone. You never have, why would that change now? Maybe you’ll figure that out someday, but not today.

Something washes over you and you give in. Maybe the enticing possibility that someone might actually want you has you yearning for that feeling. Maybe that aching emptiness you’ve been forced to feel your entire life is finally ready to be vanquished.

“Fine, but don’t expect me to stick around for long”

“Hmph. We’ll see about that. I think I can change your mind.” Dabi says, bringing an arm to wrap around your shoulder and pull you in.

You can’t help but wonder if he’s this bold around everyone. For some reason it might seem out of character for him, but what do you know. You just met the guy. One thing’s for sure, you can see he’s been through a lot and you’re sure he’s got some secrets buried just as deep as his scars run. Maybe you will stick around… at least long enough to figure out more about Dabi. More about who he is and how he got to where he is now.

The two of you walk to a nearby cafe. A place Dabi clearly seems to be a regular at. Walking in and being greeted by a man behind the counter. Shaggy light blue hair and cracked lips, tired red eyes looking right at you as you wait by the entrance. Dabi and the man exchange few words before he’s grabbing a paper bag off of the counter.

“You a regular around here or somethin’?” you ask him.

“Got connections here, might as well take what I can get.” he says shortly.

“Hm.” is all you respond before walking a few more blocks down the road. Wondering what Dabi meant by ‘taking what he can get’. You wonder how much weight those words hold. Part of it makes you think that he almost suffered in a similar way you have. Maybe he grew up with no one wanting him just like you did. Maybe he was forced to do things for himself. Maybe you two were far too similar than you’d like to acknowledge.

The rest of the walk was made in silence. Not awkward but not as comfortable as you’d have liked. You fought the urge to ask him anymore personal questions, trying to further convince yourself that you didn’t need to get involved. Telling yourself it wasn’t worth it because you didn’t plan on sticking around.That sentence playing in your head like a broken record.

Don’t get involved, don’t get involved, don’t get involved. You’re just fine on your own.

Even though your voices were silent, Dabi’s eyes were screaming. Staring and roaming your body loudly, but still he said nothing.

The two of you approach a run down apartment complex. Chipped white paint coating the outside of the building. Differently decorated and abandoned balconies.

“This place has… character.” You say sheepishly, hoping your words don’t offend Dabi.

He pulls open the side door to a poorly lit stairwell. You two walk up the stairs and finally make a stop in front of his own door.

“Least I have a place. What’s the deal with yours anyway?”

“Wow you have no shame do you?”

“Well, I ain’t got much to lose. Plus, I did just invite you, a complete stranger, into my home. Forgive me if I wanna get to know you.”

“Fair enough…” you pause, “I got kicked out about a few weeks ago. Lost my job and couldn’t keep up with rent.” You shrug your shoulders, acting as if it’s no big deal. Putting up a front to cover the fact that you really are struggling.

“And what have you been doing since?” Dabi’s eyes are now locked on yours, watching intently to see how you handle his prying.

“Been doing what I can. Details don’t matter.” you’re doing everything you can to hold your composure, avoiding his gaze as best you can.

“Mm... Well, you can crash here if ya want. Got a spare bedroom around that corner.” He says, tilting his head to the hallway behind you.

“You don’t even know me… Why would you-”

He cuts you off, “Pretty girl like yourself shouldn’t be roamin’ the streets. Never know who could be out there.”

“You mean like you?”

He laughs softly, it comes out in a single breath. “I can already tell I’m gonna like you. So whataya say doll? Will you stay? Promise I don’t bite.”

You stand in silence for a bit. Softly tapping your toe against the hardwood floor as you consider the offer.

“Fine. I’ll stay. But only until I’m back on my feet again.”

“Didn’t give ya a time limit doll. Don’t be in such a rush to get out of here.” He stands up to walk toward you, his tall, lean figure getting larger the closer he gets. He bends down slightly to whisper in your ear, placing his palm flat against the wall next to your head. “You and I could have a lot of fun if ya’d just give it a chance.”

His words make your heart rate speed up and you clench your thighs at the implications.

Dabi noticed the soft shudder in your breath as those words rolled off his tongue. He steps away and locks his eyes on yours. “Bathrooms that way if you want to shower first. I’ll put a towel and some clothes in there for you when you’re ready.”

All you do is nod. Still in awe of the way he’s making you feel right now. The pure care you feel after all these years of lacking it. The way his words are laced with an addictiveness that you can’t explain. It’s all so new to you. None of it makes sense. The more you fight the urge to feel things for him, the harder it becomes to hold back. You decide a shower might be a good idea. You’d tried your best to keep up your appearance but with the cold weather and no access to a roof over your head, let alone running water, you couldn’t wait to feel hot water running down against your skin again.

You walk down the hall into the bathroom and turn the shower on. Undressing yourself while the water heats up. Your bare figure reflects in the mirror before reaching your hand under the stream to check the temperature. Not realizing you didn’t lock the door, it slowly opens and you're met with that piercing gaze once again.

Scrambling to pick up some article of clothing off the floor to cover yourself, you’re stuck on how Dabi’s eyes don’t leave your body. The subtle flex of his neck muscles as he gulps down around nothing makes you feel like prey and he’s the predator.

“Pretty face and a body like that, huh? You really got the whole package, don’tcha?”

Your body tenses and you wrap your shirt around you tighter. “Ugh, don’t be vulgar.” You try your best to avert your eyes from his but you can’t help it. Your eyes meet his.

“It’s a compliment. Don’t take any offense.”

You fell silent for a while. Waiting for Dabi to leave, or at least say something else. He was probably waiting for you to do the same.

“Can I… help you?” you finally ask.

“Just enjoying the show doll.” He says with no shame, resting his lean body against the doorframe.

You roll your eyes, “What’s with the nickname anyway?”

“Got a problem with it?”

“Never said that.”

Dabi doesn’t respond after, not much more than a subtle groan, but he doesn’t move from his position in the doorway. His eyes still wandering your body as if they’re looking for something. Waiting for something.

You grip the shirt closer to your body, as if it could cover you any more.

“What are you doing in here?” You ask, looking anywhere but at him.

Dabi smirks, “Tell me to stop and I will.” His tone is so sinful. He says, setting the towel, a pair of sweats and a shirt on the counter. Slowly walking closer to you. Before you know it, his warm hands are gripping at the flesh of your hips. His fingers are dancing around the little fabric that’s trying to cover you. His breath is hot against your skin. He pulls you in flush against his chest and your breath catches in your throat at the sudden contact.

“I…” You take a deep breath, “I don’t want you to stop.”

That’s all the confirmation he needs before his lips are crashing against yours. He wastes no time as his tongue is already fighting for dominance in your mouth. The metal of his tongue ring feels so good wrestling against your own soft pink muscle.

Your hands drop the grip you had on the shirt to reach around Dabi’s neck, deepening the kiss even further. His hands move further down past your hips. Gripping the back of your thighs to pull you up and set you on the counter. Like it’s second nature, your legs wrap around his hips, ankles interlocking with each other.

Your fingers getting lost in his hair, tangling themselves in his dark locks. You tug on it slightly as you pull Dabis bottom lip in between your teeth. Making a mental note of the small whine that leaves his lips when you do so. His hands find their home on your hips again. Delicately playing with the skin as he traces small shapes with his fingertips. His hands begin to wander up before resting on your waist and he pulls away from the kiss.

He clears his throat “‘m sorry.. I shouldn’t have-”

You cut him off, pulling the shirt back up to cover your body again, “No, it’s okay. I uh.. I’m equally to blame.”

“Right, uh. I’ll let you shower.”

“Yeah, sure.”

Before you know it he’s slipping out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him. You lean back against the mirror, bringing your fingertips up to your lips. Thinking about how good his felt against yours. How nice it was to feel his hands on your body. An intimate touch you haven’t felt in years. You felt something, and you’re sure he felt it too.

You bring your hands up to cover your face. Trying to hide the smile and blush spread across it before jumping off the counter to get in the shower. The entire time you’re in there, you can’t help replay everything that has happened. Not just in the bathroom, but all day. How weird it has been meeting a complete stranger, having him offer so easily to take care of you. Everything he has done for you in hours of knowing you. It’s more than anyone has done for you in your entire life. You’re left with the pondering thoughts swimming around your head; wondering if you really feel something for him because it’s genuine, or if you feel this way because someone finally cares about you.

You hope it’s genuine and only time will tell. Guess you will have to stick around.

Once you’re done showering and dressed, you make your way back into the living room and are met with the sight of Dabi relaxed into the couch with steaming food on the coffee table.

You sit in the seat next to him. “Thanks for the clothes. I’ll see if I can go out tomorrow to get something. And thanks for the food, I really appreciate all you’re doing.”

“Don’t worry about the clothes. We’ll figure somethin’ out. And no need to thank me.”

We’ll figure somethin’ out… Maybe you were right. Maybe he does feel something for you. You never expected this to happen so fast, but it’s nice.

>><<

After showering and eating, the rest of the evening is spent talking about yourselves; well, mostly you talking about yourself. You explain to him how you grew up in the foster care system, in and out of every fucked up family you could imagine. You talk to him about how you ran away at 15 and have been on your own ever since, explaining to him why you’ve been so independent. His genuine acknowledgement and how intently he’s listening to you is something you have never experienced before.

Everything came so easy with Dabi. Opening up about your past was uncharted territory that you never had a desire to unfold. But with him… there wasn’t much you weren’t willing to open up about. He never pushed about much, asking subtle questions when he wanted you to elaborate more, adding comments about how he can already tell your experiences have built your character. The reassurance was nice.

After all the talk about yourself and your past, there’s been something weighing on your chest. It was inevitable that this conversation would come up.

“So… um, why did you… why did you kiss me earlier?” you ask, slowly crossing your arms across your chest and rubbing the outside of your arm.

“Why’d you tell me you didn’t want me to stop?” he asked with a raised brow.

“I asked you first.”

He snorts at how childish the back and forth of this conversation seems.

“Impulse I guess. And maybe I wanted to. Maybe I’ve wanted to for a while.” He’s looking directly at you now, eyes locked on yours as your face twists in confusion.

“Wait… wh- what do you mean you have for a while. You don’t even know me. We’ve never even met before.”

“True, but this wasn’t the first time I’ve seen you. Nor is it the second or third.”

Your brain is turning into mush and your brows furrow at the words coming out of his mouth. Has he been stalking you-

“Look I’m not a stalker, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

That's exactly what you were thinking.

“I’ve just seen you around on the street a few times. Walkin’ around. Y’always looked so sad and wandered around like you had nowhere to go. So when you bumped into me, I thought that must be a sign or some shit.”

He seems genuine… It's odd. But it’s nice that he’d noticed.

“I, um, I really had no idea. I never thought anyone would ever notice me. So, thanks I guess.”

He looks at you with a cocked head. Almost as if he’s wondering why you are so hard on yourself. Wondering why you’d ever think someone wouldn’t take notice of you. Sure, with your past it might make sense, but damn, give yourself some credit. Instead of being honest with you, all he says is “Don’t worry about it. You should get some rest though.”

“Right. Good night then. And Dabi? Thanks again for everything.”

He hums in response and shuffles off to his own room as you turn to do the same.

It took awhile for you to fall asleep. Thinking about the conversations that were had tonight. It’s such a strange feeling to know that he had seen you before decided to offer help. If you’re being honest, he doesn’t seem like the type that would go out of his way to help you, or anyone for that matter. He’s so reserved, he seems so distant. And there’s something about him that you can’t shake.

Eventually drifting off to sleep, your last thoughts were about Dabi and where you expected things to go. What were you truly looking to get out of this? Was it just convenient? Was it just to put a roof over your head for the time being? Or was there actually something you felt there. The kiss in the bathroom sure didn’t feel like convenience, and now with the other information about Dabi having seen you before… maybe there was a possibility for something more.

>><<

Here you are five months later, still falling asleep and waking up under the same roof. Things hadn’t gone any farther than the kiss you shared on the first night together, not yet at least. The two of you have grown closer, sharing more secrets, talking more about your pasts, exchanging flirty words and long, lingering touches. He even opened up about how he got his scars and told you bits and pieces about his family.

It was nice. Getting to know him. Having a friend.

The comfort of sitting next to him, a little closer than normal, on the shared couch in the living room. Dim lights from the candle flickering in contrast to the tv. Sitting side by side but leaning in opposite directions against the armrest of the couch. Your legs tucked underneath you just enough to where the bottoms of your feet are pressed up against Dabis thigh.

You can see his eyes fluttering between where you two were innocently connected and back to the tv. Suddenly, he drops his arm off the back of the couch and brings it down to hold your feet. Slowly drawing circles around the bone of your ankle.

Your eyes dart toward him but he doesn’t look away from the screen a few feet in front of him, unfazed by your eyes watching him and still continuing his motions.

You clear your throat softly and he only tightens his grip around you more.

“Everything okay Dabi?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?” he says, still not looking at you.

“I just uh… We’ve sat on this couch together more times than I can count and, I guess… you’ve never really held onto me like this? Why the sudden change?”

He slowly turns to look at you, and speaks so slowly. “Maybe my patience is wearing thin.” He pulls your legs toward him. “Maybe I can’t contain how much I fucking want you.” Your body involuntarily turning square to face him. “How crazy you’ve driven me, only being able to watch you these last few months.” He’s hovering over you, settling himself between your thighs.

“Dabi… I –” Your breath hitches.

Before you can even form any more of a response, his lips are on yours. Hips pressing into you at a slow, sensual pace. You rock back against him as your legs move to wrap around his hips. Your nails drag along the fabric of the front of his shirt. Your fingers gripping at the material tighter the harder he presses himself into you.

Dabi slows his movements just enough to where you’re craving that touch again.

“You got any idea what you fucking do to me?” He asks as his lips find their way to your neck. Your head leans away from him slightly, granting him more access. Humming at the way his tongue grazes over the soft, sensitive flesh.

You’re too lost in how good his body feels pressed up against yours. Your white knuckled hands loosen their grip on his shirt as they move themselves lower. Before you or Dabi can say anything, your hands are tugging at the cold clasp of his belt, undoing it with ease as you make your way to unbutton his jeans.

He softly chuckles against the dark purple mark he’s just left on your skin. “Don’t get too far ahead of yourself now,” he reaches down to stop your hands from their movements. He looks at you with sudden concern written across his features. “Y’sure you want this?”

“Would I be here if I didn’t?” You playfully shoot back at him, pulling your hands free from his grasp. Your eyes watching his lips curve into a smirk before pressing yours back on his.

“Suppose not.” Dabi lets you continue your work to undo his jeans as his own hands tug at the soft fabric of your leggings. The kiss is all teeth and tongue. Your bottom lip between his teeth. Your tongue on the roof of his mouth. It’s messy, but fuck, if you’ve never wanted something so bad. Wanted someone so bad.

With one hand supporting himself on the arm rest behind your head, the other pulls at the waistband of your leggings down with ease. He gets them past the plush curve of your ass and he smirks into your lips when he notices you’re not wearing anything underneath.

“You were ready for me weren’tcha?” He tugs the fabric down more, this time from the front. His pupils are blown wide at the sight of your already slick folds. You unwrap your legs from his waist so he can fully undress you. Your bare bottom half on full display for him.

He lets out a low hiss between his teeth as you sit up slightly, pulling at the waistband of his jeans. A small pout pulling at your lips at the unfinished work in front of you. To help level the playing field, he pulls the dark colored shirt over his head. More than pleased to see that pout of yours turn back up into a grin.

He lowers himself back down to you, hand back next to your head and lips back on yours. His long, slender fingers skating across the skin of your inner thigh.

The pads of his fingers are like fire on your skin. The touch is so hot and so intoxicating. It burns in the best way and it feels so good, like nothing you have ever felt before. You want more. You need more.

“Dabi… please. I need it.” you whisper into his lips.

You can feel his thumb ghosting over your clit. You whine at how close he is to finally touching you where you want it most. It's almost pathetic how desperate you sound under him. Your thighs twitch from the teasing tension between your legs. You thrust your hips up to meet his touch, barely reaching his thumb.

He smirks and scoffs before pulling away from your lips slightly. His eyes looking into yours before flicking down between your legs.

He sucks in a deep breath as his fingers drag their way up your clit.

“You’re fucking soaked and I haven’t even touched you yet, tch. Such a slut for me hm?”

“Shit. Dabi, please.” You’re aching for his touch. Your knuckles are turning white as you tug on the soft black locks of his hair on the base of his neck.

Quickly, two slender fingers are inside of you without a second of hesitation. Dabi’s pace is ruthless. Pumping in and out of you so fast that your body is rocking from the force. The tips of his fingers are reaching new depths inside of you that you never knew needed to be touched. His thumb finds its way to your clit as it rubs small circles against it. Your orgasm is building so fast from the change in stimulation. The lack of attention to the sudden unstoppable pleasure.

The room filled with sweet sounds falling from your lips, loud squelching coming from between your legs and breathless huffs coming from Dabi as he continues to work himself inside of you.

Your thighs begin to shake and your breaths are becoming erratic. He knows you're close. Dabi lowers himself between your thighs as his lips pull and suck harshly on your clit. His fingers are somehow moving slower inside of you but it feels so different. Like nothing you’ve ever felt before. So fucking good. Too good. Before you know it, Dabi’s assault on your pussy becomes too much and you’re gushing around his fingers.

Your release covers his hand and chin, spilling onto the fabric of the couch.

Your chest is heaving as he helps you down from your high. Your fingers playfully wrapped in his hair, nails dragging lightly against his scalp as he kisses the inside of your thigh. Wiping his face of your release.

Your eyes are heavily lidded as he moves himself away from you to sit back down on his side of the couch. Watching him closely as his eyes practically burn a hole into your core, admiring the work he had just done.

You hum before speaking, “why’d you move over there?” You ask playfully, hinting that you weren’t quite ready for tonight’s events to end. “Want me to help you out now?”

“I’m not sure you can handle more than you already have doll.” He smirks at you but he spreads his thighs wider. Almost as an invitation. And who are you to decline such an offer?

You get up slowly, shifting onto your hands and knees as you crawl toward him. Grabbing around his neck as you move your legs to straddle his lap. You bring your mouth to his, sticking your tongue out lightly to drag it across his bottom lip. Moaning at the taste of yourself still lingering on his lips.

You start to rock yourself down into his lap. Feeling his hardened cock straining against his jeans.

You move your hands down in between your bodies, tugging down the zipper and pouting that there was still something separating you two. One of Dabis hands is on your hip to steady you as you continue to rock yourself against him and work at getting him undressed further.

Your fingers hook into the belt loops of his jeans and you start to tug them down further. You slide off of his lap just enough so that his jeans and his boxers are off his thighs and pooled around his ankles.

His eyes are locked with yours as you stroke him up and down. A thick bead of pre-cum already dripping down his pierced tip. Dabi’s dick is thick at the base and long with a pretty mushroomed head. You’re honestly impressed by the size, knowing it will feel like nothing you’ve ever experienced before.

You lean in to him, pulling him into a hungry, sloppy kiss. Your saliva mixing together as you pull away and drop a fat glob of spit on the tip. Earning a soft hiss from his mouth as you stroke him faster and grip his length harder in your hand.

He starts to buck his hips up into your hand, fucking your fist himself. Growing impatient he grabs your hips tighter and pulls you down onto his length. A loud gasp leaves your lips at the sudden stretch and depth he’s hitting inside of you.

The ball on the tip of his piercing has you reeling as it prods against your cervix. Almost painfully, but it feels so sinfully good. As much as you try to set the pace, Dabi is not one to not have control. He’s still got one hand on your hip to keep you in place while his other wraps around your backside to grip a fistfull of your hair. He’s tightening his grip on your scalp as he pulls your head back to leave marks across your neck and chest as he’s thrusting up into you.

Your head has fallen back and your mouth is open in a silent scream. Grunts and the slapping of skin on skin echoes in the living room.

Dabi slows his pace down but it’s only to fuck into you deeper. He can feel the way your walls clench around him. “Touch yourself for me doll. Wanna see you play with that pretty little clit of yours.”

You’re finally able to muster up a whine as Dabi releases your hair from his fist. Only to bring it to the front of your body and find itself gripping your neck. His thumb and forefinger gripping tightly at your jaw as the other three fingers dig into the flesh under your ear.

“Look at me, doll. Cum for me, yeah?”

“Fuck - Dabi, ngh!”

“Same time baby, come on. Cum all over my cock for me.”

You’re whining and moaning his name as your wrist begins to flick faster, rubbing tighter circles around your clit, bringing yourself closer to your high as Dabi’s pace picks back up inside of you. His thrusts become erratic and his hips are stuttering. Trying to hold himself back until you’ve finally come undone yourself.

He thrusts particularly deep inside of you and you’re seeing stars. Your release coming out in waves all over his lap. Seconds later he’s spilling himself inside of you. Covering your walls in white with his thick cum. He releases his hold on your neck but still moves his hips against you. Fucking his cum as deeper inside of you.

Your body feels so weak. Your hands are resting on each of his shoulders and your forehead comes down to connect with his. Chests rising and falling in sync with one another as you finally open your eyes, meeting his, which are watching you closely.

You push yourself away from him slightly and bring your hips up to help him slip out of you. He’s still half hard when he comes out and his cum starts to leak out of your dripping hole. He moves his fingers down to push his cum back inside of you.

“Wouldn’t want that to go to waste.” He says as he kisses the side of your jaw, an obvious smirk spread across his lips.

You humm into his touch. You can’t remember a time where you have ever felt so content. So close, literally and figuratively, to someone.

>><<

It has been exactly one year since you had met Dabi and moved in with him.

A year of living under the same roof. A year of sharing secrets. And about 7 months rotating whose bed to sleep in on a given night.

Looking back, you would have never thought you’d be here. Developing feelings for someone, having someone to come home to after a long day. It all seemed so out of reach for you. Part of you is thankful that you allowed this type of vulnerability to enter your life, and the other part has you hanging on by a thread hoping it was all worth it.

And the position he has you in right now makes it absolutely worth it. Bent over the side of his bed, ass in the air with your back heavily arched and your face getting pushed further and further into the mattress. His hips snapping relentlessly into you, the room filled with whines from you and grunts from Dabi behind you. Complete and utter filth spilling from his lips as he hits harder and deeper inside of you each time.

“Fuck - Dabi, please, more more more, ngh!”

“Shit doll, ‘s so fuckin’ good. My pretty little slut.”

“Harder Dabi, please! Ah!”

“You like that? Ahhaahh Fuuuuck.”

You could feel Dabi’s hips stutter just before he spilled his seed inside of you. Still thrusting his cum deeper into you before pulling out, just like he always did. Only this time, it felt different. So very different.

With Dabi’s weight collapsing on the bed and him pulling you into his chest, you mustered up the courage to say something that’s been weighing on you for quite some time.

“Dabi… I, um, I need to tell you something.” you say, almost in a whisper, not prepared to let these words actually leave your mouth.

He flashes you a look of concern, but it quickly changes to amusement as he scoffs.

“Oh yeah? What’s that? You gonna tell me you're in love with me or some shit?”

You fall silent. Slowly gripping the bed sheet tighter in your fist as you pull it closer to your body.

You clear your throat trying to gain some courage to admit your confession.

Dabi sits up quickly and turns to face you.

“Wait.. tch, you can’t be serious?”

“Why? Is that so wrong? So what if I might have feelings for you…” your eyes don’t meet his but you can feel his locked on you.

“You can’t have feelings for me. It’s not gonna happen.”

He’s so cold, he’s never been this cold with you before. What’s changed? He’s never been this distant. He was so certain every other time.

“Why? What has all of this been for then?” Tears start to fill your eyes as you internally beat yourself for letting this happen. You knew this would happen. It’s everything you had tried to protect yourself from. Everything you had protected yourself from for years.

“Not like it hasn't been for nothing. Come on doll, the sex is great.” he says, playfully nudging you with his elbow. “No one said that had to stop. I’m just… not really the commitment type. Hope you can understand.” He flashed you a wink, as if it’s just some sick joke.

“Yeah, sure.” Now you’re the one getting up, taking the sheet off the bed with you, feet softly padding against the floor as you make your way to the bathroom to take a shower without another word.

If you were still in the room, you would hear Dabi cursing himself for letting you slip through his fingers. You were far too good for him. It amazed him that you allowed yourself to get so close to him. If he were being honest with himself, he felt the same way you did.

But he would never allow himself to have that sort of happiness. He didn’t deserve that. And he didn’t deserve you. So he would do what he did best. He’d push you away. No matter how badly it hurt you, and certainly no matter how bad it hurt him to do it.

The idea of being in a relationship never crossed his mind. With his past, he didn’t think he was capable of giving or receiving love. Not with the way his own family pushed him away like he was some outcast. He never knew what it felt like to be loved, but the time he spent with you, he felt it. He felt every ounce of what you had to offer. But he would never allow himself to take that from you. Not when he knew he could never love you back the way you deserved it. Sure he could try, it might be unconventional and awkward, but – no, he can’t. He won’t.

For the first time in a long time, you feel truly alone again. Over the last year, you’ve had Dabi’s company. The last 7 months you’ve had more than just company, you had a connection, but here you are, alone. Sitting on the cold tile of the shower floor. Your body caving in on itself. Knees pulled into your chest and your face buried into your arms.

You had been in the shower so long you’d barely started to notice the water run cold. If it weren’t for the goosebumps on your skin and the teeth clattering shivers, you probably would have spent all day in here.

Finally getting up to turn off the water, you grab your towel, wrap it around yourself and head to your bedroom. Not even bothering drying yourself off first. The sound of wet feet sloshing against the hardwood floor fills the room. You can hear the creak of a door from behind you but you don’t bother turning around. Knowing it’s Dabi and right now, you don’t have much to say to him.

A few days pass since your confession and you start to see less and less of Dabi. If you had known things would turn out like this, you would have just kept your mouth shut. Or better yet, you would have never even taken him up on his offer in the first place.

Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into two and a half months later. Something wasn’t right. Over the last week or two you’ve felt extremely tired. It’s become harder to wake up in the morning. A growing knot in your stomach that you can’t seem to shake. Dabi is out of the house and you decide that maybe some fresh air might be best.

You head out on the busy street and find yourself walking past all of your favorite places you’ve been with Dabi. That cute little cafe that had the best pastries. The corner liquor store, smiling through the window as you subconsciously recite Dabi’s ever infamous purchase of some cheap shitty beer and even shittier cigarettes.

Shaking your head and smiling as your eyes focus back down at the ground in front of you so you keep walking.

Now passing by the grocery store you two went to weekly. Reminiscing all the good times you had shared arguing over who was going to cook what for dinner and pouting when you didn’t get your way. Dabi of course telling you that ‘If you keep pouting like that your face is gonna stick permanently’. What a bastard. It’s hard to say that, because it felt like he was your bastard. Your pain in the ass. Guess some things are just too good to be true.

It’s the same for him if he was having this conversation with himself. You’re too fucking good for him. He wants you to live your life and find someone who will love you in every way he doesn’t know how to.

You find yourself walking into the store, lazily strolling up and down every aisle. Your favorite clerk recognizes you and heads your way. Her ever bright smile plastered across her face.

“Hi y/n! How are you! I feel like it’s been awhile since you’ve been in? How’s Dabi?”

You pause for a second, How’s Dabi?, shit if you knew.

“Uh, hi. I’m uh, I’m okay, not feeling all that great right now.”

“Really? I could hardly tell! You’re practically glowing!”

“What?”

“Oh I’m sorry I didn’t mean to —”

“Ah, no, it's okay really. I should be going though. See you around.”

Glowing? What does that even mean… there’s no way… surely she couldn’t be implying… No it’s not possible.

If only that were true. Here you are, in your favorite grocery store bathroom peeing on a stick that would change your life as you know it.

The minutes seem to pass like hours. Not wanting to look at the results of the three sticks you have set up on the counter. You had to be sure, there’s no room for chance.

You take a deep inhale, squeezing your eyes shut. You flip over the first pregnancy test.

Pregnant

Your heart sinks. Surely this has to be a mistake. Maybe a false positive. Yes, that has to be it.

Flipping the next one over,

Pregnant

You take another deep inhale, surely all three can’t be false positives. Flipping the last test over, you’re met with the same results. Pregnant.

It takes you a minute to gather yourself after you had fallen to the floor of the half clean bathroom. Pulling yourself up off the ground, you stand to face yourself in the mirror. Wiping off the fresh and dry tears that have stained your cheeks. Taking in your reflection in the mirror you slowly avert your eyes to your stomach. Placing gentle hands over your belly and rubbing in slow circular motions.

You take one last deep breath. “We’ll get through this together little one.”

You pick the pregnancy tests off the counter and shove them into your back pocket. Quickly making your way back to the apartment you have been calling home. Only, the closer you got to the front door, the farther away home felt.

Putting a hand on the door knob you twist, weird. Dabi always leaves it unlocked, a horrible habit of his you guys have argued over countless times.

You dig around in your bag and pull out your keys, slipping them into the lock and turning.

Opening the door to the shared apartment, you’re met with a site that puts your heart in your throat.

Dabi, on the couch with someone on top of him. A girl in his lap. A girl that isn’t you. Clothes discarded haphazardly around the living room.

You drop your keys loudly against the hardwood floor.

“Shit.” You hear Dabi mumble under his breath, against her skin.

“Who the fuck is that?” The girl spits, looking over her shoulder at you. Not even phased as her half naked body is still rocking down on his lap. That used to be your spot.

“No one. Don’t worry about it.” He says, turning his attention back to her.

You feel like you’re going to be sick. This wasn’t at all how you had planned this going.

“No one huh? Tch.” You say mockingly. All you can do is pull that little piece of plastic out of your back pocket and throw it in his direction. It bounces off the cushion of the couch, only to land perfectly, face up.

Dabi looks down.

Pregnant.

The girls eyes go wide before she scoffs and looks back at Dabi, then back over her shoulder to you. “Sure doesn’t look like no one to me. I’m outta here.”

She gets up, aimlessly slinging her clothes back on her body and picking up her boots before slamming the door behind her.

“WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!” Dabi shouts at you angrily as he picks up the pregnancy test.

“You have absolutely no right to ask what the fuck anything Dabi.” You cross your arms over your chest. Fighting the urge to let your tears spill over, replacing all that hurt with rage.

How could he do this to you? How could he do this to someone who loved him so purely? Who cared about him so tenderly? Who complimented him so genuinely? How could he break the heart of someone who gave him everything, as if they were nothing? Why was it so easy for him to break you just as easy as it was for you to fall in love with him?

“Ugh! What do you expect me to do about this? You knew that I NEVER wanted this.” He gets up and starts pacing before he walks in your direction. “Maybe if you weren’t such a fucking slut you wouldn’t have this burden to bear now, would’ya doll? Guess you shoulda taken care of it when you had the chance.”

It’s true, Dabi made it very clear to you in a previous conversation that he never wanted a family. He never felt like the dad role was fit for a guy like him. There was a small piece of you that had hoped. Hoped that one day he would change his mind. Hope that one day he'll give himself a chance. Give you a chance. Maybe one day he would want to be everything his father wasn’t. But here he is, letting the cycle repeat itself. Abandoning his kid, not wanting to take the responsibility for how fucked up it might turn out.

You knew how it felt to be brought into the world unwanted. Even though you might not know how yet, you’ll make sure to give your child everything you can. Make sure they experience a love and want that you never did.

You were the only person in this life who has ever truly, genuinely cared about him. You gave him everything. Showed him what love could be like if he would just give you a chance.

But his heart was set on hurting you from the start.

So with that, you packed your bags and did what you do best. You ran. Far away from him. Far away from this town. Far away from everything that reminded you of him.

You spent the entirety of your pregnancy alone. Not really sure what to do, but handling it as best you possibly could. The doctor visits were hard. The morning sickness and back pain was harder. But being alone was the hardest of all, no matter how used to it you were.

But you’ll never forget the day that truly changes your life. The day the doctor found two heartbeats instead of one. This whole time you thought you’d be in charge of one life. Now you were in charge of two? All alone? You’re not sure you were cut out for this. Reality hit when you were asked if you wanted to know the genders.

One boy. One girl.

It would have been everything you’d ever dreamed of, if not for the circumstances.

Sometimes you wish you could go back to when it was just you. Just you being broken by yourself. That way you didn’t have to force your kids to live in a broken home with a broken family and a broken future. Being responsible for two more lives complicated everything so much. Not that you wouldn’t love them, not that you don’t already love them. It’s just… you were never wanted as a child, and when you thought you were wanted as an adult, you were failed and proved wrong once again.

How can you provide for these two if you don’t have anything to base it off of?

You’re kicking yourself for allowing you to be so vulnerable. How could you allow yourself to feel these feelings knowing you’d just end up getting hurt in the end. Maybe you couldn’t know how this would end. But you should have expected it. You’ve never felt worthy of happiness. Never felt worthy of love.

You tried your best to change your perspective once the little ones made their arrival. Making a promise to yourself and to them that you would do everything you can to make sure you’re well taken care of.

In awe of the two newborns you had, you couldn’t be more thankful for the pain you had gone through for them to get here.

Raising them was not easy but loving them was.

Your little girl resembled you in every aspect. Her bright smile. Her matching hair and eye color to yours. Even her developing personality was destined to be exactly like yours. Your little boy on the other hand… looked painfully like his father did when he was a child. Resembled every feature to a T. The bright turquoise eyes, glowing against his sporadic white hair. Delicate pale skin. Every feature on his face was a spitting image of the man who broke you. Who left you with absolutely nothing. Nothing but a reminder of how truly alone you are.

As you walk down the snow covered road, somehow the brokenness of your heart makes the winter weather that much colder.

a/n: HUGE THANK YOU TO

@butteringg

@scarlettriot

FOR BETA READING and being there for me every step of the way. I second guessed myself so much writing this entire thing. I couldn't have finished it without y'all.

[darkdevasofdestruction]

A Thousand Year Love ~ Ryomen Sukuna x Kitsune!Reader

Okay, I wrote the Reader's name as "Kitsune", but that's mostly because I envisioned a nine tailed fox without an actual name, that everyone would just call her "Fox" as if she wasn't anyone worth naming, despite her rank.

This is a little fic which explored Sukuna's supposed backstory, 1000 years prior to he action of Jujutsu Kaisen - Idk if it's accurate, I didn't yet read the manga, I still have 6 more episodes from the anime, but I had this idea and I couldn't stop myself from writing about it.

Most of it builds up the bond that very slowly grows between Sukuna and Kitsune, then snaps during a scene somewhere around episode 4 of the anime, when Sukuna takes over Yuji's body, and Yuji can't switch for a while, but with enough altercations that it's not exactly the same as in the said episode.

Hope you enjoy this <3

-------------

"What are we doing here...?" Kitsune asked her parents in a voice that was barely audible as she looked left and right at the huge estate's gardens.

Estate? Rather said, palace, since this place was grandiose - Most likely, even more so than the Emperor's own Palace, the girl thought to herself. Everywhere she looked, cherry, plum and pear trees were in blossom, even though it wasn't their time. Statues and little shrines, along with various small pools with flowers, lanterns and lotuses were scattered as much as her vision would allow her to see. Looking up at the estate, she realised just how small she was in comparison to the intimidating and imposing energies radiating all over the place.

"You are going to meet someone very important, dear." her mother spoke, yet her voice wasn't as gentle as usual, rather, it sounded stiff, on the edge...Almost afraid, maybe? It was foreign for young Kitsune, as she has been confined in her little palace her whole life under the pretext of keeping her safe. But it did exactly the opposite, she believed, considering she itched to explore and go on adventures with each second passing. "Who is it?" she asked as soon as they stepped inside the palace...But it was so dark, save for the red, malicious light from the lanterns and candles lit in just the perfect places so it would guide them to the room they had to go to. "...You will find out soon." her father snapped at her, and she could only frown, her fluffy ears flicking as her tails wrapped protectively around herself. She knew something was wrong, and she had half a mind to believe she was brought there as a sacrifice for some War Deity that would allegedly save them from this era of war...Or something along the lines.

After a longer walk than expected, they found themselves in front of two large, red doors, and without any kind of reticence, Kitsune effortlessly slammed the doors open and saw a dimly lit room with a few stairs and a throne where a man with short, kinda spiky pink hair, garbed in a loose, white kimono was smugly sprawled over that royally embellished chair, while tons of gorgeous women dressed in the most luxurious kimonos, their hair done up with intricate headpieces and flowers that would put any living being to shame...

But what is this about? Kitsune was more confused than anything, and she could only step inside the room, slowly and carefully, before turning to look at her parents, who had a pitiful look in their eyes.

"What is going on?" Kitsune demanded an answer, her voice agitated, her body ready to go into a fight or flight mode, her eyes darting rapidly between her parents and the man on the throne whose name she wasn't interested in finding out. "Well, darling...You see...You had to find you a husband. You are old enough to be married, and you can't stay with us forever. You need to have a family and children. You are the princess of the Fox clan, there is nobody more beautiful than you -..." her mother tried to reason, but the young girl wasn't stupid. She understood what was going on. "No. No. If you want to speak - Then speak the truth. Don't lie to me. This guy is strong, isn't he? Some kind of demonic thing that everyone is afraid off. You are giving me away to this guy...To be his...Thousandth concubine in his harem or something, just because you're too weak to take care of our kin. That's the truth, isn't it? Go on, admit it. Stop trying to sugar coat the situation." her nine tails opened from around her in a large, undulating fan, making her aggression obvious, as fire began to immolate the tips of her fur. "SHUT UP, IMPERTINENT, UNRULY CHILD!" her mother slapped her face, not wanting their benefactor to hear his future concubine speaking so foul of him. "You are a woman, and the princess, nonetheless, and your role is to continue our kin and obey your family and husband. Do not speak unless you are allowed to!" but before her mother could grab her face, Kitsune's tail slapped her hand away, and she stepped back. "I am nobody's toy. I will not obey anyone's orders. Not yours, and not his. I will not be just another concubine for some disgusting, good for nothing lecher with no redeeming quality." the girl snarled at them, ready to make her escape out of there, if needed. "If your sister was alive, she would have sacrificed herself for the greater good of this family! You are nothing more than a selfish brat!" it was her father's time to accuse her, which made her ears perk up, while her tails completely deflated. "Yes, of course, how could I forget. It was me who should have died, not my perfect elder sister. Sorry, but you should curse the Gods, not me for that. But, since it seems that my life is meaningless to you, then I will make you a favour! I will end it myself! I'm sure you'll be happy without me, won't you? Ahh...But how will you save our war-ridden? Too bad I won't be alive to witness your demise, huh?" with a dark chuckle, Kitsune's hand went inside her kimono, taking the small kodachi sword and unsheathing it, hearing only the gasps and shrieks of fright from the harem girls. Kitsune could only guess that these girls were all high-born and unfamiliar to the horrible things happening outside of these walls. "What the hell are you doing, you idiotic child?! Cease this madness at once!" her mother shrieked at her, lounging towards her, trying to stop herself from impaling that blade through her body, and yet...

The second the girl launched her hand down to stab herself...She got stopped. The whole place became instantly silent, save for the sound of a blade bouncing down as it fell on the wooden floor. "Enough." a dark, annoyed voice resounded through the place as Kitsune's wrists were grasped by the man's...Front hands? While her body was immobilized in an embrace by his other two arms. "I was promised a beautiful princess as a concubine, and you failed to do as you promised. Leave, before I get bored and kill you." he threatened the two adult fox people who scurried away in a hurry, leaving behind their only daughter without a second thought. "You, however...Will remain here." he chuckled in her ear, but Kitsune wasn't one to be messed with. Her answer came in the form of lighting up her tails on fire an wrapping them around the man, who hissed and unhanded her, allowing her enough time to go into a corner and get in a fleeing stance. "Why did you stop me? I have no intention of being one of your whores. You should have let me end it right there." she scoffed at the man, who dismissed the bottom pair of arms and laughed. It was almost a psychopathic laugh, she thought, and it made the hair on the back of her neck stand up - Unsure if it was from fright or disgust. "You amuse me, little vixen. Very much, you amuse me. Having a little fox wag her tails around this place, all fired up, would give some sense of fun, wouldn't you say?" his voice was grating her, and she only wanted to sock him in the jaw. "Keep on dreaming. I'm not your toy, and I'm not here for anyone's entertainment. You have enough girls in this place to amuse you. I'll be going now, and even if you chain me, you can't stop me from achieving my freedom." Kitsune growled at him, slamming open the sliding door that would lead into the balcony, from where she could jump the hell away from there. "You proved you value your life even less than your parents do, so chaining you would do nothing. I have never seen a woman as fiery as you. All the ones I have are the same. Meek, soft...Afraid. Boring. They all like the same things, and hate the same things." he groaned pitifully, evidently bored out of his mind. "They hate you, don't they? You want women, but you don't bother treating them right. Can you get even more typically terrible? Pitiful and disgusting, that's what you are. You just want to break people for your entertainment. You are nothing more than a selfish megalomaniac. No wonder you are in need of entertaining, you are thoroughly boring." Kitsune's degrading words, however, didn't seem to phase the man at all - In fact - It made him laugh. Never, in this life, has he heard anything this degrading before - Everyone tried their best to appeal to his benevolent and merciful side - To at least spare their lives. He was stronger than anyone alive, so nobody dared speak up in front of him. It was obvious she had no idea who he was - All the better - He thought. "Ryomen Sukuna, missy, but you can call me your Emperor." that confident laugh was enough to drive Kitsune up the wall with anger as she stomped to his side and actually punched his jaw. It was annoying - The height difference - As he towered over her entirely, but at least she managed to reach where needed, little miss firecracker. "Piss off." the fox girl growled in anger at him...And yet...He only...Laughed. And he cupped her face, getting his own so close to hers that they could feel each other's breaths. "You. Are. Mine." his grin was so wide and sociopathic that he might as well have had his face split in two. "I will never be yours. I will never be anyone's. I'm not an object. I will not obey anyone. The second you leave me out of your sight, I will flee, and you will never see me again. And if I can't, I will find a way to kill myself. I have nothing to live for, but everything to die for." Kitsune bared her elongated canines at him, and gosh, was she enticing. "And if I get rid of the harem?" he asked, not bothering with everything she talked before. "You'll be a heartless jerk who'll destroy

the lives of so many women." she refuted just as quickly. "And if I don't fuck anyone but you?" he threw that, wanting to fluster her, but the fire in her eyes only ignited even higher. "As usual, you can only think with the wrong head, can't you? There's nothing to you but your stupid little prick. How pathetic. And you call yourself a man. Go die in the war or something." she grabbed him by the loose neck line of his kimono, only to hear him laughing condescendingly. "But darling, that just couldn't possibly happen. I am simply too strong to get killed. Everybody fears my power, why else do you think your parents were so willing to give you away? They were weak, just like you said, and every weakling needs the help of Ryomen Sukuna, Japan's own God of War." this statement made the girl's gorgeous eyes widen in shock...Only to start laughing, almost hysterically. "Oh, bow down to the self proclaimed God of War! Can you believe that! Your majesty, tone down your arrogance, it's gonna get yourself killed! I knew it, you're absolutely useless! All you can do is bark, no bite, little puppy! The only thing intimidating about you is your height, other than that, you are just a generic man who thinks he's all to powerful. How ridiculous." the fox girl couldn't stop her degrading laughing, which confused the man for a while, only to smirk and pick her up bridal style, carrying her out of that room, not letting her get out of his grasp, no matter how much she tried to wiggle or burn him. "I won't let you go until you acknowledge my infinite strength, cute, little fox. But don't think that just because I favour you, I will let you get away with all the shit you called me." his voice sounded darker, more ominously, but it didn't seem to intimidate the girl. "Not in a million years. Not even in your sweetest dreams. You're pathetic and I'll never acknowledge you as anything else but a disgusting, lecherous pig!" she yelled at his face, to which he responded by letting her roughly fall on a soft futon, then crouching by her side and gripping her face just as her mother did before. "Say that again when you'll end up screaming my name as if your life depends on it." he laughed at her before leaving her new room, which she won't leave for a while.

This annoying girl, Sukuna was intrigued by her, but at the same time, he was very tempted into strangling her or snapping her neck - Despite all that fire she lets out, he was curious if she'd end up groveling in self-pity, begging him for mercy, going back on her previous misguided and foolish courage. Wasn't it bad enough that she had no idea who HE was? He also had to endure such disrespect - And even worse - Enjoy it? That little fox bitch was ready to commit seppuku in front of everyone just to prove a point, what the hell else could be more entertaining? All the women he's had were given away by their families as tributes, and none said a word. He was a jerk to them, he fucked them, he mistreated them - Sukuna didn't give a fuck about any woman, man, child, animal...Or any living being in the world, except for himself. All were beneath him - Unworthy, weak, frail -...

And yet, they still lie to his face, trembling as they say all the fake, sweet nothings - "I love you, My Lord" the women would say, their voice shaky, jumping in fright as he'd touch them. He was a rough man, he never knew gentleness, nor mercy, no love - Through all the words spewed by the firey woman, the part where she declared he had no idea how to treat women properly - Yes, it was true, but did he care? Of course not.

Humans were all puppets with whom he could play as much as he wanted - All instruments for his entertaining in this terribly boring world, he would manipulate everyone like dolls on his strings, and when they've exhausted their means of entertaining him, the string will be cut, and the puppets will fall in an abyss of infernal fire.

For the first two weeks, Sukuna and Kitsune were literally acting like a cat chasing a mouse - And each time, the cat would surprise the mouse just as she was about to survive - He was giving her hope of success, only to pick her up by one of her many tails, or embrace her from behind, pick her up, trip her, show up from behind a tree, play with her hair as he came up from a tree behind her, and sometimes, even going as far as to mock her by pointing her the way out of the place.

But very soon, she gave up, and decided to starve herself to death by not leaving her assigned room, ignoring him entirely whenever she'd get visited by him - But that ended in the worst way possible - With her fainting and unable to wake up, and Sukuna freaking out because he didn't want his little toy to die before she got boring.

He laid next to her on the futon, holding her in his eyes, brushing her hair out of her face, playing with her vivid red hair - She truly looked like a fox in Sukuna's eyes, and he almost felt his heart warm up as he felt up the soft fur on her tails, waiting for his cursed energy to heal her up. After some time, he noticed the little red ball of fur getting smaller and smaller as she cuddled into his chest, resembling a defenseless kit searching for warmth, love and safety from its mother. She was so much smaller than him - So frail, so thin, so soft...So cute? - What was it that he was feeling? Calmness? Protectiveness?

He was furious at her for neglecting her health just so she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of toying with her - But that was also endearing, in its own, messed up way? She would go to such dramatic extremes to prove him wrong...It seemed that no matter what she did, it would still make him enjoy her company.

Whenever he'd fuck one of his harem girls, he wouldn't stay over, not even for a kiss - Hell, he didn't even know most of their names - Why should he? They were all the same to him - But he felt such a strong sense of protectiveness over he - He didn't want to strangle her to death anymore - Maybe just a bit of fun, some teasing, some startling - His hand around her supple neck as she looks up at him with her sparkling eyes, calling out his name - Sukuna, Sukuna - Pleading softly, but desperately to him for her sweet release - Sukuna, Sukuna - And he will be merciful, for once, and give her what she wants.

Just as he was caught in his own, sick fantasy, he felt the girl move and grumble, turning on her back, her small hands flying to rub her eyes awake - And he rolled over her, a playful, teasing smirk on his face as he waited for her to realise the position they were in - And yet, she was still out of it, for her eyes were half-lidded and gleaming, she was still weak from her lack of self-care, and she could only look up at him, dazed..."Sukuna...?" she mumbled in a whispery tone - What is she doing to him?! How dare she entice him so much? He wasn't supposed to be attracted to her in any way, so why...?!

"Relax, sweet-cheeks. I'm here." he spoke in a low voice, not wanting to alert her...Wait, what - "...Thanks." muttering that, she let out a soft sigh as she closed her eyes again, the corners of her mouth slightly turned upright as she allowed herself to fall back asleep and rest, not caring too much that she felt a slight pressure on both of her hands, in the form of the demon man pressing his own hands to hers, intertwining their fingers together as he towered over her, watching her chest rise and fall rhythmically as she breathed, her kissable, pink lips just a tiny bit parted. He couldn't stop himself - She was too irresistible, and he was much too insatiable - And he leaned down, pressing his own lips over hers - Gently - Very gently in fact, almost as if afraid of breaking a porcelain doll, as if afraid to crush a snowdrop he just picked from a glade, one just just barely managed to get out from under the remaining, melting snow of early spring. "You'll be the death of me, cutie." he found himself saying as he licked his lips, taking in the sweetness of the kiss.

Since then on, despite not being exactly friendly with the man, the fox girl didn't hate him that much anymore. It even got well enough for them to eat in the same room, or play shogi - The girl beating him at it more often than not, which left mixed feelings in his heart - And then he showed her the musical instruments that the concubines would sometimes use whenever he'd want a banquet and more sinful indulgences. He didn't ask her to play for him, though. He realised that the more he tried to push the girl, the less likely she'll actually do anything he wants.

Even more, the more time they spent together, the more his concubines would get neglected - So much that he was completely drawn to this fox girl and all the other women were completely wiped from his head. - And he started gifting her a bunch of beautiful kimonos, only to find them in front of his room's door, rejected. She didn't want anything from him, nor did she want his favour, so she continued wearing her simple clothes.

Until...

Until one night - It was a special night, really - For the moon was full, and big, and gleaming with such a beautiful silver light that neither of them saw in the many years they've been alive. And Kitsune dressed in one of her festival yukatas and went to the lotus pond, surrounded by a few wisteria trees, as the mirror of the water reflected the celestial orb like sparkling zircons. The fox gingerly jumped in the middle of the sheen, walking on it like a spirit, only her feminine silhouette being seen, as her long hair was gently blown by the warm spring wind and her tails were dancing around her in perfect sync. As her feet moved to the sound of the melody she played on a vertical flute she was given by the owner of the place, Sukuna found himself unable to move from his place on the palace balcony, his sight fixated on the woman's form as she alternated playing the instrument and dancing with ribbon-fans.

Her moves were fluid and mystifying like those of a priestess leading a will'o'wisp to rest into kakuriyo, the land of the dead - what was he supposed to do now? He was confused and mesmerised. He's seen his fair share of beautiful women playing instruments and dancing for him - Hundreds of them, in fact - But none could match the effect this nine tailed fox girl had on him.

This continued days on end, but he never admitted to her that he was stalking her every night, nor that he was completely enchanted and under her spell, at the point of no return.

"I'm going to war tomorrow." he told her one evening as he poured himself some sake. "...Good for you. Finally, more entertaining for the most powerful man on Earth...Or something. Bring me a souvenir when you return, I guess." the girl merely shrugged her shoulders as she took the tea pot and poured herself some tea, not bothering with any reaction. "You're not worried for me, are you? What if I die tomorrow? Will you weep for me?" he leaned forward, taking her chin between his fingers. " 'Course not. You're the one who keeps boasting about how you're the most powerful man on Earth and The God of War or something. Besides - If you die, I will just steal all your money and get the hell out of this place, so I can finally see the world through my very eyes, not through inked letters on paper. I want to be free and fly. Life here is boring. I've had enough years of being home stuck, don't you think?" she snapped at him as she snatched the now empty sake up and poured herself some alcohol. "And what if I promise to take you out to see the world when I return?" he smirked at her, watching her ears perk up a bit at the proposition. "...I don't believe you." she looked away before she could reveal any real emotion in her eyes. "I promise. But you also have to promise to relax around me. You're always on the edge, even if you've been here for a whole year. I saw you play in the winter, jump to collect autumn leaves taken by the wind, pick up fruit after climbing up the trees, and make flower crowns in spring. I saw you get buried completely in snow, only one of your tails being seen, I saw you make fruit wine in autumn, send paper lanterns into the sky and bathe in the lotus ponds. We're not strangers anymore, and I've never hurt you even once. So, do we have a deal?" his hunter-like eyes carefully watched her every reaction, noticing how her bottom lip quivered ever so slightly, before biting into it softly - She was nervous, that much was obvious - And Sukuna was now a pro at reading her behaviour. "...I'll try. But if you go back on your promise...I promise you, you won't wake up the next morning." she scoffed, threatening him, but it only ended up making him laugh. "The little kitten has claws, how adorable. That's fair, I'll let you have that." the man chuckled at her, petting her hair just between her ears, making her close her eyes and blush just a tiny bit. He was finally able to reach her - Not by much, but even this much was enough for him...For now.

For a whole month, Kitsune was all alone in the palace - Or so she felt, despite the numerous harem girls and the servants - All who had to obey her every order - But she refused any of that. If she wanted to eat, she would make food for herself. If she wanted to drink, she'd get some herself. If she wanted to bathe, she would prepare the bath herself - Just as she's always done. However, all this time, she was never in need of company. She couldn't handle people, nor their fakeness and many other useless emotions that would only make them vulnerable and susceptible of being used and taken for granted.

She's been through that numerous times while living with her family, and she wasn't about to let that happen again.

Thankfully, Kitsune never felt lonely, nor bored - However, she realised that she actually enjoyed Sukuna's annoying presence, and somehow, she found herself awaiting his coming back sooner.

"Master came back, vacation's over. Take care, everyone...I heard he's been injured. Can you believe it? Never thought demons can bleed." the many rumours circulated around the palace, but the fox girl only snapped at the gossipers, glaring at them to shut up. But she didn't go to greet him, like everyone else did. Instead, she waited until night to go to his room, and she found him on the ground, calmly drinking some sake.

"Ah, look at this, a little fox found its way in my humble abode. What ever could you be doing here, I wonder?" he chuckled teasingly, as she only looked down at him, giving him a slight head tilt, yet no expression on her blank face. "Are you wounded?" she muttered in a low voice, almost half-wanting not to have been heard...But she was. "Ha! So you heard those rumours too, haven't you? How ridiculous! Me? Ryomen Sukuna, the God of War, getting injured? Preposterous!" his bark-like laugh echoed through the place, but it didn't move the girl in any way. Instead, slowly crouched next to him, snatching down the already loose kimono top from his torso, letting it fall down to his chest, as her delicate fingers traced his chest, arm and back, analysing each and every fresh wound and scar alike. "I thought you could heal. Cursed energy magic or something. What you did to me when I passed out. Stupid liar. All you know how to do is to boast to everyone, but you can't even admit that you are still capable of making mistakes sometimes." her voice was obviously pissed off, but not enough to sock him in the jaw again. "Anti-regeneration magic. I didn't know something like that existed. Gimme a break." he scoffed, looking away in mild embarrassment. "Lucky you. Now don't move, or you'll really piss me off." she sneered at him as she made blue fire light up her palms and focused on healing him. It was then that she realised how good it felt to feel someone's bare skin, to feel his muscles, sore from fighting so much. He was finally beginning to look more like a man - A warrior - Not like some obnoxious, bratty, entitled casa nova. "I didn't know you could heal people. It tickles." he smirked slightly, turning his head to watch her focused face. "You don't know many things about me, Sukuna. Don't even bother trying, you'll never be able to, anyway." she scowled at him, but this time, it wasn't as aggressive as usual. "I've always loved a challenge, sugar." he chuckled boastfully, only for her to frown and look at him. "Is that all I am for you? A challenge?" she asked in a softer voice, sounding almost disappointed. "Not anymore. You've always been an enigma for me. You were fun, that's why I kept you around. If you weren't, I'd have killed you. I have no regrets about killing anyone, reason or not. But you got under my skin. I don't want to unveil the enigma behind you anymore. I just want to know you." carefully, his hands found their way on her hips, just before pulling her on his lap, only for her to stiffen up completely, her hands quickly taken off of his skin, as she quickly snapped her head away from him, her face covered by the long hair that resembled the blood he spilled on the battlefield. "Aww, are you shy, cutie~?" his seductive voice was back again, one of his hands reaching up to cup her face - But she couldn't bring herself to speak - Instead, she just gulped and jumped away from him, taking a few deep breaths before getting out of the room, and climbing up to the roof, hugging her legs to her chest, leaning her chin on her knees, her bottom lip bitten into to the point of drawing blood.

What the hell was she thinking, letting herself getting touched like that? By someone like Sukuna, nonetheless, who, if given the chance, would have his way with her, then toss her aside like he did with all the other women in his enormous harem. Her heart was beating so hard, so fast against her chest. It was a foreign feeling that scared her so much that for a long while, she couldn't help but avoid him once again, going out of her way to only leave her room when she was sure he wasn't there. It didn't always work out as she wished, but she still tried nonetheless, as succeeded for most of the time.

"Are you scared of me?" Sukuna asked the girl one night, when he found her softly shedding tears up on the roof. "...No." she offered a monotone answer. "Then why are you avoiding me again? Do you hate me?" he asked again, only for her to hang her head and hug herself. "I realised that I shouldn't be alive. All my life I've known only two emotions - Hatred and Rage - All of them masked by a facade of complete neutrality, passiveness and uncaring. But, now...I can feel my heart beating. And it hurts. I was so ready to throw away my life, and I knew I would have no regrets. I lived for nothing. I have no memories of anything good happening in my life. I thought that...I thought that maybe...I would be able to feel, staying here, with you. I wanted to feel something good, for once. What was that called...Happiness? Love? I wanted to feel those too. I guess it's too much to ask from this cruel life. The second you touched me, I started panicking and I got scared. I was afraid. Not of you, but of the idea of possibly getting hurt. I don't know how to feel, and I don't think I'll ever be able to be a proper being...But maybe...Someday...I will be able to look up at the same sky, at this very same moon, and the very same stars...And smile...And my chest won't be hurting anymore. And I won't be afraid anymore. Maybe, in the next life...Or the one after that...I will be lucky. Maybe times will change, and people won't be so cruel anymore. I'm sorry, Sukuna. I didn't end up being who and what you thought I'd be. I will forever be a disappointment to everyone I meet." she wasn't sure if her words were directed to anyone at all, or if she just found the courage to speak for the first time in her life - To acknowledge the existence of feelings altogether - But Sukuna understood her. Except for the thrill of the kill and fleeting quenched lust, he didn't feel any relief. Just like her, anger and hatred, for the entirety of his life. How different and similar the two of them really were, he realised, as he went to hug her from behind, resting his chin on top of her head. "You have never disappointed me, Kitsune. You cannot disappoint me. I understand what you're feeling. It's a cruel world, and we are much crueler to everyone around us, including ourselves. If you ever think you have it in your heart to accept me, I will be waiting. Forever, if needed. And if not, I will be awaiting in the next life. Or in the next one. I won't give up on you." and saying that, he planted a kiss on her temple before leaving her alone to watch the same silver moon they've been looking up at for so long. "...Thank you." she spoke to herself after who knows how long.

And she smiled.

Every day passing, she would look at the pink haired warrior, and every day, she'd want to throw herself in his arms, but every time, she'd start shaking, and she'd turn around and leave the place. This whole ordeal continued for well over three months, until one day, the palace was attacked with burning arrows, and the whole place was lit aflame.

In the mayhem in cause, the fox girl made sure to gather all the civilians in the huge estate and lead them to safety, and by the time she was done, she rushed to search for Sukuna, the person the enemies wanted to bring down, once and for all. However, by the time she found him, the whole place was ablaze, the once blooming garden was now turned into ashes, and the Demon God of War was heavily bleeding, slouched and leaning his back against a wall.

Opposite of him, many meters away, a menacing looking enemy who had spears in his hands was ready to throw them at him...And Sukuna merely smirked, defeated, and closed his eyes, awaiting for the impact of his ultimate death.

"Sukuna...Keep your eyes closed." Kitsune's low, shaking voice called out to him, but instead of doing as he was told, his eyes snapped open, only to widen in terror seeing the girl he grew to love, impaled by numerous spears, acting as a shield for him. "K...Kitsu...Ne...?!" he managed to usher after getting over his shock. "I told you...To keep you eyes closed...Idiot." she shook her head as she curled her fingers on the wall, taking a few deep breaths, despite her legs shaking. "Idiot. Idiot. You are such an idiot." "No...You...You were supposed to run away...I told you to run away...I told you...To...Live..." his voice was desperate, trembling, not believing what he was seeing before his very eyes. "Not without you...We were supposed to...Go...together...And be happy...And look at the moon...And stars...Together..." but as she said that, she heard the air getting split by yet another set of spears that go through her tails and torso, making her lose strength and fall over the man she was shielding. With her last strength, she punched back the spears out of her body and crawled on his lap, cradling his body, wrapping it up protectively with her tails, holding tightly onto him. "I never learnt how to fight...I never had anything to protect...Until I found you. I have no regrets dying, if you live. Close your eyes, Sukuna. I...I love you." and just before all strength left her body, she cupped his face and stole a weak kiss.

She was happy. She finally found her courage to act as she wished - With her heart, not with her fears. She was finally able to expel all the bad things possessing her. She died, and yet, she was finally smiling. She regretted nothing.

She was really happy.

"...Look there, Kitsune. Look at the moon. And the stars. And we are together. In this life. And the next one...And the one after...I will find you. And I will protect you. Don't be afraid anymore...Nothing will hurt you again. Until then...Sleep well, my Princess...Wait for me...Very soon."

---------

"Don't worry, Yuji! We will find all the victims of this place and rescue them! You'll see!" the cheerful nine-tailed girl wagged her fluff left and right as she dragged her best friend to the ominous place, as their other two team mates followed soon after, both having different reactions, as usual.

As her shikigami fox and Megumi's white wolf were assigned to make sure no cursed spirit would sneak up on them, they tried to make heads or tails of the distorted reality inside the place - They knew they may be dealing with a Special-Grade monster, but to have power of such magnitude seemed...Unreal...And unsettling.

"Guys, calm down. This is the Innate Domain...Cursed energy made this foul play...But I've never seen anything like...This. We have to move fast, and not split up, or we'll get picked one by one." Kitsune gritted her teeth, feeling the fur on her tails stand up. "Where's the door?!" Megumi yelled, turning around, only for everyone to gasp, realising the way they got through completely disappeared. "Th-The door's gone?!" Yuji blinked, incredulous at what he was witnessing. "How?! We just came in through here, didn't we?!" Nobara freaked out, only to make a short, brain dead dance with Yuji. "Calm down. The dog remembers the scent of the entrance." saying that, the two fawned over the two canines as they let them lead the way, only to find three mangled corpses, one of them having a name tag - It was the name of the child of the desperate woman outside of the place, pleading to the police to rescue him.

However, a fight erupted between the two boys who couldn't decide whether they should run away or rescue the corpses, as closure for the woman outside, at least, and while Nobara yelled at them, trying to make them stop...She...Disappeared?! Through a makeshift hole in the floor that wasn't there before.

"B-But...Megumi's demon dog and my fox should have been able to sense the curse...!" Kitsune then quickly turned around, only to gasp, noticing the bloody corpses of the said shikigami protruding from the walls. "NO! CYNDER!" she whimpered, hating to see her lovely companion in such a state. "ITADORI! KITSUNE! WE HAVE TO RUN! WE'LL LOOK FOR KUJISAKI AND -" but before he could finish speaking, Kitsune's whimper, that grew louder, along with the presence of the demon she was pointing at, staring straight at her...Made both boys stop in their tracks, wide eyed and shocked...And very much afraid.

The trio was sweating bullets, trying to move, trying to get the hell away from there - But Yuji moved first, taking out his knife, slashing at the Special-Grade....Only for his hand to go flying far away...From the impact.

"Megumi, run away! Go find Nobara, I'll stay here and create a diversion! Give us a signal when you're out of here! Yuji can get Sukuna and save us!" the fox girl yelled at her brunet friend desperately as she pushed him away, but a mouth on Yuji's cheek, speaking very derogatory, pointed out he doesn't give a fuck about Yuji's body, and that he won't die, even if his vessel does. "Nope~! Even if parts of me inside you die, I've still got 18 other fragments of my soul! Still, irritatingly enough, I don't have control of this body, so go away and switch, if you want! But once you do...I'll kill that brat before the cursed spirit can! Then, I'll go for that woman. She's a lively one. I'll have fuck with her. And then...I'll claim this cute fox girl that you care so much for!" Sukuna kept talking, and it was creating a state of panic in Yuji's heart. "Don't listen to him, Yuji! I know you won't let him take over you completely! You can't hurt us!" Kitsune yelled at her friend, trying to snap him out of the trance Sukuna put him in. "No, no, no, darling, you're wrong. If he's too focused on me, his friends WILL die~!" the demon kept laughing at his vessel, until the Special Grade unleashed a full blast of pure, cursed energy. "Yuji, look out!" she jumped at him, getting him out of the blast's range. "Stop listening to him, and take care of yourself! This isn't Jujutsu, this is pure cursed energy! We have to buy Megumi and Nobara enough time to get the hell out of here! Look at this jerk, he's having fun. I'm sure we can figure something out." the fox girl gritted her teeth in anger, but before either of them could try to attack or dodge - In the blink of an eye, really - She felt herself getting picked up and slammed on the wall before her by yet another blast of cursed energy - Followed by another, that flew her on the bridge in the next room, rendering her barely conscious. "KITSUNE! KITSUNEEEE!" she heard her pink haired friend's desperate wail as he tried to shake her awake. "...Sukuna...?" she asked, her shaking hands trying to rub away the tiredness from her eyes, as she looked up at him with gleaming, half-lidded eyes.

Before he could answer, shocked that she would call him by his demon's name, and even more, his own demon shocked, hearing her say something like that, she managed to cling onto the boy enough to get herself back on her feet, turning towards the attacker, her big, fluffy tails opening like a protective fan for the boy, as she created a blast of blue spirit fire to try to counter the cursed energy blast from the enemy. It made her growl from the pain, but her mind was blank - She had no regrets - No matter what life she was living, she will only get stronger and stronger, until she succeeds and protects the ones dear to her.

But not in this lifetime.

She wasn't strong enough yet. She was nowhere near her mentor, Satoru, in power. She had no way to compete with him, nor could she protect her friends when needed.

How pathethic.

It was her last thought before the cursed energy took over her, burning away some of her skin and creating even more damage after getting slammed and breaking yet another wall. With the last bit of consciousness she was able to hold onto, she saw her pink haired friend still alive and well - By some standards, at least - And she could merely smile and fight back the darkness threatening to take over.

But...Something happened, for the boy now seemed fearless - And he even taunted with the special-grade...And then he healed his own arm, before going to her, looking down at her, shaking his head. The markings on his face...This wasn't Yuji. This was...

"Idiot." a much darker, more masculine voice came from the body of the teenage vessel as he crouched down to the girl. "You never change, no matter what life you reincarnate into, do you? But that's the charm about you, stupid fox. You never really lose your memories of the past, do you?" he gently caressed her face, feeling his heart beating a bit faster as he noticed she was smiling and leaning into his touch. "You said you'll find me...So what is there to fear?" she mused weakly, before she got picked up bridal style, allowing her to cuddle into his chest, finally allowed to rest at ease. "Let's teach this weakling a lesson and get the hell out of here. The moon is up." Sukuna chuckled as he walked up to the demon, effortlessly punching in the head, slamming it into the bridge, only to smash his foot into its head, breaking the bridge altogether. As they fell, the monster grabbed his leg, but the fox-fire burn on his hand was enough to get his to shriek in pain and let go, as Sukuna jumped on one of the falling rubbles, taunting and laughing condescendingly, as he ripped apart the monster limb from limb before impaling it into a wall, as soon as they reached the watery ground. "Honestly, I'm jealous. I could never get to your power with jujutsu alone. Satoru said this thing is 80% born talent. How disheartening." she grumbled, feeling better already. "There's nothing cursed in your heart, sugar. Let the killing to me. I promised I'll protect you, I'm not going back on my word. I'm not going to see you die again." he threw her up a bit to get a better hold on her. "Hang onto me, foxy. Let's show this sucker how we do things." seeing his infamous smirk on his face, she threw her arms around his neck, holding on tightly, seeing as he did a hand seal, calling out his Malevolent Shrine...And they were back home, dressed the same as they were so long ago...A thousand years ago...And the monster got split in 5 slices, before Sukuna dug out another one of his soul-fingers, and he started grinning even laughing even darker, realising that Yuji couldn't switch bodies again, which made villain jump out of the facility, right on top of it. "I guess...No matter what life we live, the sky is going to be forever beautiful." Kitsune sighed as soon as he let her down, but she didn't let go of him. Not this time. Fears won't take over her life anymore. "And yours is even more eternal than the moon's or the stars." he cupped her face, taking in her beauty for the first time in over a thousand years. "It's been to long. I made you wait far too long. I hope you didn't miss me too much." one of his hands found its fingers raking through her hair, and she closed her eyes a bit, taking in the warm, loving feeling that completely took over her. "I'll forgive you. You did take your bloody time...But at least you're here now. And you're not going anywhere. I won't let you." her hands slid down to the neck of his blouse, pulling him to her level, which only made him smirk smugly. "Good. That was my intention." his charming, dark voice spoke, making her heart beating faster, and feeling the hair on the back of her neck and the fluff on her tails stand up from excitement. "Won't it be weird? Being Yuji's body...?" she asked shyly, as he only chuckled, pulling the same Malevolent Shrine trick, so they finally looked as they did when they first met. "Better, sweet cheeks?" he pulled her flushed to his body, as she got on her tippy toes to get closer to his face. "Spectacular."

As the fox girl couldn't stop touching his face, raking her fingers through his hair, feeling his body closer to hers as her whole body felt hotter than ever before - It was just a kiss - His lips so sweet against her own, his arms, so strong, holding her, feeling her, loving her.

It was only them, under the gentle light of the silver moon, guarding them, as the stars softly twinkled, embellishing gold into the dark sky - Just like this love light up the darkness in their hearts.

Her tails wrapped around him instinctively, as they pulled apart, and looked each other in the eyes for the first time since they've known each other. Her eyes were sparkling with happiness, her lips were curled into a kitten-like smile, and she was glowing - It made Sukuna's heart have a pleasant arrhythmia as he saw in front of his very eyes a sight that he's been dreaming about for over a millennium - The woman that captured his heart - Happy, in his own arms, safe, and very kissable.

This feeling and image were worth waiting a thousand years.

[loquaciouslo]

3 / ? | Study Date.

chapter synopsis. in which there are lessons to be taught.

pairings. yoongi x reader. jimin x reader. eventual ot7.

genre. this is guilty pleasure genre, there. absolutely gonna be smut. smut is essential. if you’re here to be holy, come on in!

word count. 5.9k

next chapter ➸

WARNINGS! oblivious vs blatant flirting (oh no how awful), absolutely genuine and trustworthy niceness and chivalry, a little manipulation, manhandling, sub!reader, dom! yoongi, dom! jimin, coercion, tw dub con / non con approaching this ch. 

Not even a yogurt in sight. That’s what you’re thinking as you stand in front of the fridge, the door swung right open; the light illuminated from within reflecting off your pouting face. There’s nothing but a water bottle and grape juice on the top shelf and nary a snack, a morsel, anything, in sight for you to eat. Usually, there’s a little something, but everyone else must have gotten to everything earlier and before you. Just the thought makes you wish you had eaten breakfast earlier, but in your eagerness to make it on time and not be that person interrupting service, you just skipped. You regret that decision now. And as if on cue, your stomach makes a pitiful growl and you groan, looking down disappointingly at your tummy.

Change of plans. Time to raid the cupboards. You go for the one closest to you and peek inside, reaching your hand in to pull out a can of… peas? When did the church ever need a stock of peas? It just feels weird to you, so you shove it back. It’s not very appealing anyhow. The further you look up the shelves you spot nothing but ingredients, things like sugar, coffee creamer until you peer up and see something you could stomach—some delicious saltine crackers. The little crab ones meant for soup. Okay, it’s not exactly your go-to snack unless you’re sick or hungover, but it’ll do. You’ve eaten blander options, like your aunt’s cooking.

Now if I could only reach the top. You take in a deep breath and stand at the highest of your tiptoes. The heels you’re wearing help give your rather average height advantage, but it’s just not cutting the gap between the box and your fingertips. Your nails graze the bottom, almost, but you end up back on your heels, defeated and pouting once more. Who designed this fucking kitchen? The tallest man alive or what?

“Need a little help?”

The voice comes from behind you. While you’d been preoccupied with your task at hand, you hadn’t heard the soft click of Jimin’s footsteps or noticed the way his frame leaned against the door, deciding to play it quiet for the sake of getting to watch your shapely ass lift from the ground in those heels. He could spare a few seconds watching the way your skirt rides up your thighs, only hindered by those delectable cheeks, couldn’t he? But as much as he appreciated the view, he wanted to get a good look at the sheer blouse you’re wearing.

You really should get better at getting a sense of intuition when someone has their eyes on you. Really, you should just have more sense of awareness in general, Jimin thinks, but the upside is that it works to his advantage. It’s when you aren’t looking that he can take his fill without a single guilty thought at work.

“What?”

You answer on instinct, swiveling around on your feet, completely taken off guard. You didn’t expect someone to be there, observing you. You shake off your hypervigilance.

“Uhm—it’s okay. I got this.”

“It really doesn’t look like it,” Jimin replies, unaware, or perhaps entirely aware that his tone sounds just a tad patronizing. Do you like that? You're not sure, as pretty as it sounds coming out of that mouth of his. When you fail to answer him, he walks towards you in languid strides. “so, let me ask you again. Would you like a little help?”

You’re not… sure what to say. But he expects an answer from you, that much is clear. Obviously, he's looking for something along the lines of a yes, and then those words just tumble out of your mouth on yet again, instinct, because you do feel a little silly denying him. What’s the point of this existence of yours? You’re wearing heels and you still can’t reach the fourth shelf. And Jimin is taller than you by at least three, maybe four or so inches than you?

“Okay.” You say nodding. “Please help me.”

Jimin likes the politeness of your answer and smiles yet again. He has a better poker face than you, one that doesn’t give him away half as much as yours does. 

All you know is that he looks even better up close and personal.

The second he’s standing in front of you, you’re distinctly aware of your close proximity to each other. He’s close enough to reach, to touch. You can smell the soft scent of his cologne mixed with what must be his natural smell and body wash; you can peak at the sliver of an exposed neck and collarbone from the first button of his shirt being undone. It’s white, and it contrasts beautifully against his soft skin.

Jimin takes advantage of your distraction, smiling above you, and as his much longer arms are reaching for the box at the top shelf, he doesn’t give you much of a choice to move anywhere besides backing you into the counter. You could have moved, but now it's too late to do so; too awkward. You’re forced to lean back, trying to keep the millimeters apart between you two, as if you’re afraid of touching him. Your fingers are already trembling at the idea, but Jimin just wants to make this hard for you.

Does he know that?

He places the crackers in front of your chest to take, so you gingerly grab the box with both hands. You’re happy you have something to put your eyes on instead of his face because you have the vague sense that he’s looking rather intently at yours. You go to pry open the unopened box of pure bland yeast sprinkled with ground salt. It’d be better in a soup, you internally mope.

“Thank you.” You tack on after a beat. You don't want to seem ungrateful.

“You’re welcome.”

Jimin is...

This time, you find yourself able to move around. You put some distance between you two, hoping it looks as natural as you tried to implement it, and close the cupboard door.

“So, what has you scoring for food in here instead of going out to eat? Service is almost over and everyone’s getting ready to go home.”

“Oh,” You say, honest immediately. “Yoongi asked me for help with some parts of the sermon we went through. The verses, you know. So, I’m trying to eat something beforehand, that’s all. I kind of skipped breakfast.” You leave it at that, feeling like you’re gonna start rambling. You put a few of the crackers in your mouth and grimace at the taste.

Jimin nods in understanding. And then he surprises you.

“I have some skittles if you want some. It’s not really food, but.”

You look at him then, right in his lovely brown eyes. You can’t help but admire the blond locks of messy coiffed hair, nor the way he likes to part it. Sometimes, you wonder if he has a professional stylist or if he just naturally has himself all figured out. It’d be nice if you had yourself all figured out, too.

“Okay.” You let out a little laugh, unable to deny that you’d like that. “If you’re offering. They’re my favorite.”

“Really?” Jimin lights up when he hears that. He reaches into his back pocket, bringing out an unopened pack of them. Ripping a slit off the top, he goes to pour some into your hand.

“I thought I was gonna eat these during the service but thought better of it.”

You can’t tell if he’s serious or not.

“Have as much as you want.”

This is way better than having to eat another stale cracker. You give another smile and pop one into your mouth. You like to suck on them until the color is gone, then chew and then swallow. Jimin watches the action with ease, the gentle way it slides down your throat.

“It’s sweet of you to be so helpful.” He compliments, dragging his eyes away from the slope of your neck. He follows suit and pops a skittle into his mouth, the tip of his tongue peeking out between those beguiling lips of his. It’s hard for you to not notice the swallow of his Adam’s apple, either. The next thing he says pulls you out of your thoughts, eyes blinking.

“I didn’t know you offered such services. If I had known sooner, I would have liked to ask you for help too.”

Your expression morphs from a distracting desire to a look of consternation.

“Well,” You laugh a little nervously at his touch of unintentional—you’re sure is—flattery. “I wasn’t until Yoongi asked.”

“Oh... so, if I asked you now, could I join in? I could use some helpful feedback.”

A beat passes.

“If—you know—you’re willing to help a second party out.”

Jimin tacks the last sentence on quickly, as a way for you to have an out. But the way he phrases it, and the hopefulness in his tone has you saying yes after just a beat.

You do, much to his concealed delight.

“I wouldn’t mind.” You nod, fiddling with the corner of the box, unsure of how else to occupy your hands. “The more, the merrier, right?”

Jimin smiles wide at that, letting out a quiet laugh. It’s breathtaking, how easily handsome he is.

“I like your enthusiasm. You’d make a good tutor.”

Another skittle goes in your mouth. It allows you to come up with something to say.

“I’m surprised you don’t have a degree in flattery.”

The playful comment doesn’t miss Jimin, and he’s quick to throw it back just as easily.

“It’s not that hard when you’re so easy to flatter.”

Is that a compliment or a backhanded tease?

Before you can even tease him back—let alone throw something smart as him—you hear a text tone going off. It’s Jimin’s phone, you realize, not yours.

Hey, wait. Where is my phone?

“Sorry.” He says quickly, pulling you out of your momentary panic. His attention has been diverted to the text message that pops up on his home screen. A few seconds pass and he’s typing away something quick and hitting send. Honestly, you’re thankful for the distraction. You need to find an excuse to go so you can have time to prepare yourself and find your phone. Now that you think about it, you don’t recall having used it or heard it go off during the morning sermon. I must have forgotten it at home. Fuck. And I bet there’s no time to head home and get it either. I have to rely on...

“I actually have to go, but I’ll be back in time to meet up! I promise. I can tell Yoongi to meet us in the garden?”

You know which one. You like spending your time there, on the church's grounds, and it is where the three separate and smaller buildings which this public place of worship is built on. They’re meant for the children, youth, and young adults to gather for their own sermon being held and to study with their fellow group mates.

The set-up there was simple, comfortable, and minimalist. The color scheme was cool, bright tones, in order to give the atmosphere of being calm and uplifting. Decorations were present in every building. For example, the children did arts and crafts that the church hangs around their building to celebrate and show off. And the furniture? Two words: So comfortable. You loved lounging on the couches while you studied either the word or your homework. Pastor Min was responsible for all the tasteful choices, and you loved him for that.

It’s one of the many reasons you like going here and only here.

Now granted, it wasn’t quite the kind of idea you had in mind, but Jimin’s idea is equally, if not a better idea. You didn’t see why you couldn’t all gather there. It’s a reasonably good choice.

You nod once more in affirmation and Jimin gives you one last smile before leaving, a skip not too noticeable in his step.

“Great. See you soon, y/n!”

Once Jimin’s gone and out of view, far enough away for you to no longer hear his shoes against the hard floor, you release the breath you’ve been holding.

I survived that. I survived a whole conversation with that... that man.

It doesn’t take long for the minutes to pass by while you try to enjoy the handful of skittles Jimin gave you, crackers forgotten on the counter.

You’re in the garden before the two of them arrive, sitting down on one of the stone benches, rubbing the petal of one striped carnation by your feet. Aren’t you an interesting fellow? You’ve never noticed striped carnations in the garden before. I’ll have to look you up when I get home. You spend a few moments admiring some of the universe’s finest creations, that you forget to note the mental time.

You’d hazard a guess that it must be close to 2 P.M. because that’s how long it usually takes for everyone in the church to disperse after the afternoon is over, and you don’t have a phone to rely on for the rest of the day, so you relied on the devices around you to keep you on track. Your attention is quickly taken by the murmuring voices you hear approaching from your left.

And there they are. Jimin and Yoongi turning the corner of the entrance, coming into your direct view. You swallow softly. You must practice keeping yourself focused on the task at hand so that you can give the best advice that you can offer. If you can do that, then this will have been a positive and memorable experience. And you’ll have left it unscathed and unaffected. And most definitely not with an even worse harboring of a crush.

It’s just kind of hard when they’re wearing similar, but not completely matching outfits. They’ve both got on their formal wear; white long-sleeve shirts with ties and black slacks. One sports a pair of dark brown shoes, the other distinctly black. It’s something you’re used to seeing them wear. Yoongi’s the first to wave, stepping into your inner circle as you rise to greet them.

“We meet again!”

Yoongi is the first to reach for you, gentle, into a chaste half-hug; his cheek nearly brushing yours. Jimin follows second. Their expressions are warm and inviting when they pull away, and it lights a fire under your heart. You've never hugged them before and this is the closest you've ever come.

Why is my heart beating so wildly? 

It’s the first time they’ve treated you so affectionately that without a doubt, and without it meaning too, it leaves you feeling good. 

Why do they have to be so nice?

“You can blame Jimin for us taking so long getting here.”

“Oh, shut up,” Jimin snarks, giving Yoongi a look. But then he turns to give you a half apologetic one, shrugging, “it was nothing. Sorry for the wait.”

You take his word for it, not wanting to push the topic. You’re not that interested in knowing why.

Okay, you’re a little curious. But it's not your place to be nosy and you must remember to be on your best behavior. You barely know the two of them. So, impressions matter.

“Are you ready?” You ask instead. Not trying to rush, but trying to get somewhere with the conversation. You didn’t want this to lull into a period of tense silence all because of you and your nerves.

“More ready than Yoongi.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“You both are.”

You mutter, laughing while walking ahead of them. And that is to your detriment. You feel an assertive touch to your back. It’s Jimin that pokes his finger into the back of your shoulder.

“Are we? I could say a thing or two about you.”

Before you have anything smart to say back, your walk through the garden in search of the right building's entrance. Yoongi is the first to reach for the knob and opens the door wide, beckoning both of you inside.

“Ladies first.” His eyes meet yours again, and you promptly look away, too nervous to look him in the eye. Shooting him a subtle smile is as far as you get. The light that filters through the room is quickly cast away at the sound of the door closing shut behind all three of you. 

You walk past him, mustering a thank you very much. You suppose chivalry wasn’t dead.

And behind you, unheard to your little ears, is the 'click' of the door locking shut.

Jimin distracts you by leading you to one of the couches in the middle of the room, letting you settle in comfortably. You smooth your skirt, listening to something Jimin has to say as they both come to sit on each end of the couch. Jimin to your left, Yoongi to your right.

You’re exactly where you ought to be.

“It was a lovely sermon, wasn’t it?” You say, looking between the two of them. You pull a piece of hair out of the frame of your face and settle your book on top of the coffee table in front of you.

“Yeah, it was great.” Jimin agrees, while his companion replies after him. “It was fantastic.”

“It was quite touching.” You nod, sufficiently calmed down.

“Ah, I love the way he delivers the word.” It’s Jimin who speaks next, right as he’s shuffling through his bag for his bible. He pulls his out just in time with Yoongi.

“My father is good at what he does.”

The praise rolls easily off Yoongi’s tongue, and abruptly you’re hyper-aware that you’re still with the pastor’s son. Of course, his son respects his father. Everyone respects pastor Min and his family. And everyone has good reason with good hearts. You really did put a lot of faith into people and their good intentions, including Yoongi. After all, like father like son, right? And Jimin, by association, since they were so incredibly close.

You didn’t have a doubt in your mind that they could be anything other than just nice, good-to-do people.

Yoongi’s the first to open his bible as he eyes your blouse. It’s one of your favorites – a soft, pink, satin blouse. It hugs you in the right ways, just enough give so that it’s breathable against the skin. It’s pulled more taught around the middle of your chest, seeing as you’re much fuller there than the rest of you. You don’t think much of it, not right away.

“That’s satin, isn’t it?” Yoongi asks, his tone discernible by the way he’s looking at you. It takes you a second to understand what he’s talking about.

“What?” You blink.

Oh. You look down.

“Yes, it is.” You laugh, looking at him the slightest bit funny. What an odd question. You didn’t expect him to just... know? Let alone point it out. The only guys you knew who could tell the difference between fabrics like cotton and polyester were your friends with a great sense of fashion. And they just loved to help coordinate your outfits. This one was courtesy of your best friend, Ellie. Bless her soul. You did look rather nice. Pretty even. You almost wanted to ask how come he’s asking, but you bite your tongue to let him implore further if he wants.

Yoongi clearly has a sense of fashion, that much has been revealed to you. It’s something you find very attractive.

“It looks good on you.” He continues. “A little expensive.”

“It was a gift.” You blurt out, feeling immediately embarrassed. Why should you? Just because it was a little expensive.

So naturally, you second guess yourself. It’s your turn to ramble and continue.

“... from a friend. But thank you for noticing. God has definitely blessed me with—”

“—God’s definitely blessed you,” Jimin responds, “God has blessed all of us.”

“Quite so, yes.” You agree, relaxing. He’s not wrong…

Yoongi’s the one to bring something else up.

“Want to go over the sermon?”

“Yes,” You say, eagerly, half forgetting what’s in your own lap. Your own bible. You look between the two of them, trying to gauge their reactions. “Who wants to go first? Unless there’s a section you’re both confused with? We can go over that together first if it makes it easier.”

Jimin’s the first to pipe up, intending to take his turn first. He shifts an inch closer to show you.

“He was saying some really interesting things. It’s in… what was it?”

Jimin starts flipping through the pages of his own book, tongue poking out just a peek from between his teeth as he seems to search for something specific.

“Hm, my bookmarker here, let’s see… yeah, this is where I read it. I really like…”

All the while Jimin is talking, pilfering through the finely printed pages of his book, the gap between you two is shrinking. You don’t notice it at first. Until his fabric-clad knee bumps into you. What became a foot between the two of you is closing in on nothing. Your leg twitches on instinct, withdrawing from the contact, all the while trying to keep your focus on what Jimin is trying to explain.

You hope Yoongi doesn’t feel ignored. He’s awfully quiet behind you, so much so that you could easily forget he was there. And briefly, you do.

Jimin, you’re starting to sense, has no idea what personal space is. When he notices the dubious look on your face, an apology falls easily from his plush lips and sheepish face.

“Ah, I’m sorry, you just make me very nervous.” He bites the inside of his cheek. “You’re so pretty.”

He says it so smoothly, like the satin you slid over your skin this morning when you buttoned up your blouse, wondering if anyone special would take notice. Not that you weren’t actively looking for compliments, but ever since Jimin remarked how pretty you looked in your summer dress last week... well, you did have half the girlish mind to wear another one the next Sunday.

And yet, you deliberately decided to not do that the next morning, somehow upset with yourself for basing your decisions on whether Jimin—or Yoongi—would or wouldn’t like it. Like you were dressing up for them. They weren’t even yours, so who does that?

“Ah, thank you—thank you very much.” You flush, uncertain whether you feel flattered or uncomfortable. That’s the second time he’s said that to you. Does he not feel shy when he tells you that? You keep eye contact until yours are inevitably brought down to the closed bible in your lap. Your fingers, trembling ever so slightly, pinch the pages open to where Jimin’s bookmark lies. He is still eyeing you with intent.

“Now uh, what was it you wanted to go over?”

You try to break the tension that’s taken hold of the room.

“From the Book of Mark? Just show me which verse you need help with first and we’ll go from there.”

The words come out a little ushered, trying to calm your racing heartbeat and the pace of your breathing all at once.  

“Are you always like this?” Yoongi chimes in, done being a simple onlooker to what’s transpiring between you and Jimin. You really forgot he was here, in the same room, until he spoke up.

“Like what?” You ask, turning your head around.

“Like a bashful deer in the headlights.”

“Bashful?” You murmur, bewildered. I'm not bashful, I'm just feeling a little inexperienced.

You turn to Yoongi openly, brows furrowed. You’re a grown woman, you tell yourself. And that doesn’t sound much like a compliment to your sense of womanliness. "I'm no such thing."

“You’re a sweetheart.” Jimin softens, his voice betraying your thoughts. You turn your attention turns to him. You’re keenly aware of the hand resting behind you on the couch, but it makes no move to touch you. He won’t touch you. Not yet.

“I don’t know how many more times I can keep saying thank you. I don't...” You admit, resisting the urge to bite the inside of your cheek, “... really know what else to say.”

It was just one of the ways you were raised. When someone compliments you, you’re supposed to thank them. Doesn't matter if you're thankful or not, or whether you understand why in the first place. What you did have was a problem with being viewed in an unfavorable light so you soften down on their intentions and try to relax. You really do.

“You don’t have to keep saying thank you,” Yoongi reassures, tilting his head. You can feel the soft caress of his hand along your spine when seconds ago it wasn’t there. The action tickles your skin in a distractive way. “You can just accept the compliments we give you. You’re already so thankful, we can tell.”

“You two are very sincere,” Your mind scours the depths of your brain for the right words. “I can see that. But…”

“What is it?” Yoongi encourages, leaning in.

“I just don’t know what brought all of this on,” You divulge, all in a rush.

There. You’ve got it off your chest. It just feels like things have taken a weird turn in a different direction ever since Jimin approached you last week and you can't shake it off. There was just something different about it. About them.

"Was it because you…?”

“If you really want to know, it's because I actually really like you...”

Okay. 

Okay, okay.

Yoongi smooths a hand down his thigh and turns to better face you. His face is soft, understanding.

“... as well as your mom. You're very kind and respectful additions to our little community.”

“And,” Jimin adds, “you made us pretty get-well cards when we were sick.”

You don’t say anything at that. That's right. I did do that. But why does it matter?

“What? Did you think we’d forget?” He smiles.

“I just…” No, but you didn’t expect them to give it that much thought, just that they might appreciate the sentiment at the moment and move on. If it were you, you’d appreciate the same, but would you remember it now, months later? 

Do unto others and you would have them do unto you. That’s how it’s versed. Maybe it doesn't matter.

Yoongi’s next question is rather disarming.

“Is it just you and your mom who always go to church? We only ever see you with her when you're here.”

Your father is a sore subject, but when it comes to him, you do have a good poker face.

He’s old news to you. He doesn’t deserve to have you wince at the indirect mention of him.

“Yeah, it’s just her and I! Not a lot of my friends are… spiritual, I guess?” You shrug, brushing it off. That’s okay with you. You’ve never been the judgmental sort. “I’ve tried to get them to come. Maybe one day. We’ll see.”

“That's a shame. Maybe one day you can convince them to come along and visit. I’d love to meet one of your friends.”

Jimin actually sounds like he means it.

“Is your mom coming to pick you up?”

“No,” You shake your head. “I told her to go home for the day. I can walk home since I don’t live far from here.”

“Wow. So, it’s just you.”

The silence that falls after that revelation is deafening. The sense of security they gave you begins to fall away when, for the first time in your life, you know the warmth that radiates from Yoongi’s bare hand resting on top of your thigh, finger almost slipping underneath the hemline. Something doesn’t seem right about this situation. About Yoongi and Jimin.

Who have been nothing but nice to you, you remind yourself.

You're gentle with your defenses, your hand touching Yoongi’s long enough to gently remove it from where it’s caressing you.

“No, not too lonely,” You smile, brushing a strand of hair out of your face, avoiding Yoongi’s scorching gaze, “I have the word to keep me company.”

You move in the opposite direction of Yoongi’s spreading thighs, only to bump into Jimin, who makes no motion of moving. You realize there isn’t much room for you to go anywhere between them. Nowhere to go. You squeeze the bible in your lap like it’ll give you the answer of what to do.

You get two unison chuckles at that, Jimin wiping one of his eyes. “You’re so funny,” he laughs, "and so cute.”

“Very cute,” Yoongi hums.

The open palm of Jimin’s hand rests along your lower back, rubbing it suggestively as he works with his friend.

“But you know, y/n... everybody needs a little bit more company, sometimes.”

A part of you has finally started to understand what’s going on here.  

A part of you has finally, finally, started to panic.

“I...”

It’s in the look they exchange between the two of them that has you standing up, getting ready to leave before you can find out where this is quickly snowballing, but you’re simply not fast enough, nor strong enough to get out of the grip of two surprisingly strong arms. You don’t get to think about what happens next as you’re being hoisted up and onto Jimin’s waiting lap, your thighs pulled over the side so that you have no choice but to look at him with the way you’re turned.

“Don’t you agree?” He asks, arms wrapping around your waist, one of them rubbing along the edge of your skirt. Skimming the thin fabric of your pantyhose. Your heart hammers in your chest. Jimin has gone from zero to sixty in how he wants to touch you.

“S-sorry,” You resist, pushing away at his chest. Your eyes are wide, frantic, your heart begins to beat out of your chest from the unexpected maneuver. His hands are on you like it’s his right to touch you like this.

“I really, really like to leave room for Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.”

It’s your nervous habit to laugh and make jokes when you’re in a situation so overwhelming you don’t know how else to save your ass. But it’s enough to make Jimin laugh again and let go of you momentarily to unceremoniously fall off and out of his lap. Your thighs are shaking. You smooth your skirt out and down to rid them of the nerves.

You’re afraid to look at Yoongi. You shouldn’t be. What Jimin did just now is inexcusable– isn’t it?— and why didn’t Yoongi do anything? Why did he sit there and let it happen? You look at him, eyes imploring for answers, but the fixed look he gives you causes nothing sort of a shiver running down your spine.

You’re not ready to find out what it means.

“You are so adorable,” Jimin cuts into your anxious thoughts, and now that he has, you’re no longer safe. You should have gotten up again when you had the chance.

“But really, you should come here.”

Jimin’s voice is still playful, but it suggests that there’s no room for argument. His steady hands lift you with the same disregard for your autonomy as before and settles you down on his lap with albeit more force than the first time.

“Stop.” You protest, harsher now, wriggling to get let loose in his grasp. You push your hands against his chest, ignoring how flat and hard it is underneath his shirt. If this were under different circumstances, you might have been dying to know what laid beneath it—whether he was just as toned beneath what his clothes suggested. You didn’t want this right now.

“Come on, Jimin. Let’s—let’s let go,” You soften, your voice being gentler, kinder. Like you can talk him out of it if you talk to him sweetly, like a child who needs some convincing to let go and compromise. You shift in his lap, antsy, hands shaking as you shove at him. With Jimin clutching you so close to his chest and refusing to let go, you have no choice but to feel the hard cock lying stiff inside Jimin’s pants.

He’s getting hard from this, you realize. He’s hard. I can’t believe it. 

You don’t know how to process this, but it’s like the knowledge this brings you puts you more into a frenzy; laughing nervously while Jimin’s greedy hands wander up to your thighs and along the sides of your waist. He shoves your skirt up so that it can expose your ass to Yoongi’s view, bunching up and around your hips. A view he more than appreciates.

“This is not appropriate! No.” Then you change tactics. Maybe if you ask nicely…

“Please?” You whine, hopeful. You don’t like how Jimin isn’t listening to you. No one’s listening to you.

It doesn’t work.

“I think you just need to relax a little bit.”

“Yoongi—” You turn your head around, twisting your body to get a fuller look at him.

The sight you’re greeted with takes your breath away. He’s laying back against the couch, one arm draped over the armrest while the other finds refuge between his legs. He’s palming his dick, you recognize, eyes wide as you watch him watching you. He grips it then as if it’ll excite or worry you, and the myriad of complex emotions running through you is enough to leave you dizzy and distressed.

He looks like he wants a turn.

Your eyes return to Jimin, pleading once more.

“Maybe you should—Maybe I should go and get us some water—” You try to assuage them, arching backward and taunt in Jimin’s arms. It just causes him to pull you in tighter, without the possibility of escape. “—stop it!”

“Come here,” Yoongi drawls, demanding a look from Jimin. Your protests are starting to get old and tiresome to him and he needs you to calm down. He sits up. Jimin and he exchange glances and before you know it, the weight of Yoongi’s hand is palming your bare ass, squeezing. Touching you through the tights is just a tease to make them harder. “You look so pretty like this.”

“No, I don’t think I will.” You bite, flinching. You’re getting tired of your pleas being ignored. No one is listening to you! And you hate it. You wretch Yoongi’s hand away, not wanting him to touch you.

The next second, in retaliation, your arm is yanked forward, and his hand is back where he put it just seconds before you so rudely shoved him away. The look on Yoongi’s face is nothing short of a warning, his lazy, sweet tone replaced by a man who doesn’t appreciate too much talking back.

“Just relax some. You need to relax.”

“I think you should leave.” You grit out. Or I should leave. Either one will do.

Jimin gives another low laugh at that, leaning forward to sigh a breath of excitement against the skin of your neck. It’s so hot, warm. All while your heart and mind are wild with fear.

“I think we’re gonna stay.”

next chapter: lesson learned ➸

[iamdeku]

Needy: Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

Me? Making a fic title that isn’t based off a song somehow? Seems unlikely. 

Warnings: school stress. makin’ out. not proofread.

For @sems-diarie

You hated your classmate Bakugou Katsuki with a passion. He was arrogant, brash, and extremely loud. He was rude to you and he was rude to everybody else and he was completely convinced he was the greatest thing to ever exist. There was really only one thing you hated more than Bakugou.

Being teamed up with him for your class’s newest group project.

You had pleaded and begged with Aizawa to let you pair up with literally anyone else, but he was unyielding. All of his pairings were final, and you and Bakugou were no exception. You were just going to have to learn how to work with him, your grades be damned, apparently.

“Alright, listen up,” you said, taking your seat next to Bakugou the day after your group pairings had been announced. “You are not going to mess up my grades. If anyone is going to mess up my grades it’s going to be me. I don’t think you’re an idiot. I know you’re an idiot. So just sit down, shut up, and follow my lead.”

You were perhaps slightly harsher than necessary, even for a guy like Bakugou. In your defense though, you’d had a truly garbage day. Your coffee machine had broken, leaving you with no caffeine this morning. It was an expensive coffee machine too, and you weren’t sure when you would be able to buy a new one. You had spent half of your morning looking for the manual to the coffee machine in the hopes that Momo could just create another one for you, and by the time you realized what time it was you had no opportunity to do anything but toss your clothes on before heading to class. On your way to class, it had rained, soaking you through because you had forgotten your umbrella and provoking Mineta to make a comment on the clinginess of your wet uniform. You had gotten a worse grade than you were expecting on your last test, you had tripped and spilled all of your lunch across the floor, and now here you were, having to sit next to your assigned group partner, hair still damp and mood still very, very bad.

“Hey, I don’t know who you think you are extra, but I’m no idiot. If you think we’re not beating everybody else in this class, then you’re wrong. I don’t know what you’ve been told, but Bakugou Katsuki never loses.”

You had known the great Bakugou Katsuki for the last 3 years of yours and his UA career, and now, in your final year, you were pretty confident that you still knew him. You knew him as a guy who had definitely lost before in the past. There was no particular shame in that, but you couldn’t afford to lose this time, especially not on Katsuki’s account.

“You better be right about that, pretty boy, because this grade is important to me. If we get a bad grade on this assignment it’s going to throw off my entire average, which I really can’t afford right now. Speaking of which, we really don’t have the time for all this dilly-dallying. Let’s get to work, king explosion murder,” you mocked.

To your surprise, the ever confident Bakugou turned bright red at the old nickname.

“Whatever. Let’s just get to work. We’re going to have to trade contact information so we can figure out a time to meet up. Plus I don’t trust you not to screw this up without my advice.”

You rolled your eyes. The nerve of this boy. The sheer gall.

“Yeah, okay, whatever.” You reached into your soggy backpack and pulled out a pencil and a piece of paper, scribbling down your phone number.

“We should just be able to meet up in one of the dorm’s common areas. The trick will be finding a time when everyone else isn’t working there.”

You sighed, knowing your classmates wouldn’t make the scheduling of this easy. Even ignoring the fact that you might have to deal with their noise and obnoxious planning, Bakugou’s sleep schedule was another barrier to your project design. He went to bed early enough to severely limit your time for working on the group project. You honestly didn’t know when he found the time for homework. If you didn’t do yours immediately it probably wouldn’t get done until the very last minute.

“We can just study in our rooms. It will be quieter there.” Bakugou shrugged.

You froze at his casual words. Study in your rooms? As in study in his room? Nobody had ever been invited into Bakugou’s room. Not his best friend Kirishima. Not his childhood rival Midoriya. Not even that girl from the gen-ed course he’d dated when you were second years. Nobody.

“Uh…are you sure?”

“Yeah. Why?” He raised an eyebrow at you. “You’re making a weird face, idiot.”

You shook your head. “Nothing. I was just thinking. Yeah, we can just study in our rooms. Just text me before randomly showing up, okay?”

“Yeah, whatever.”

Aizawa was starting up class, causing you both to shut up. You felt a part of you get very excited that you might be about to see Bakugou’s room. There was something sort of forbidden to the feeling, fluttering around in your chest like a stupid flock of butterflies or something. You were sure it was just the appeal of his room, the secrecy of it all. You loved knowing other people’s secrets. That must have been what it was.

As it turned out though, your hopes and dreams were all in vain. Bakugou texted you to ask about studying, not in his room, but your room. You complied of course. As much as you wanted to see the inside of his mysterious room, you respected his privacy. After all, rooms were sacred. Your room was a deeply personal expression of yourself, and you weren’t about to pry into his space. It wouldn’t get you a better grade anyway, seeing as your project wasn’t on the inside of Bakugou’s room.

You had cleaned up your room earlier in preparation for this moment, anticipating that sooner or later Bakugou would want to study in your room even if you had briefly entertained hopes that he would want to study in his. Your normally messy desk was cleared off, your bed was made and your dirty laundry was all in the basket where it belonged. If you hadn’t cleaned the room yourself you would probably think that you didn’t live here.

Bakugou walked into the room with all the posturing of royalty, shoulders thrown back confidently as he eyed your room. He sniffed, passing whatever final judgement he would, and proceeded to sit down at your desk.

“Nice room, nerd. Cleaner than I thought it would be.”

You grew uncomfortably warm at the truth of his accusation, feeling specifically called out. Could he possibly have heard you vacuuming earlier? It didn’t matter. You didn’t care about his opinion.

“Yeah, whatever. Let’s just get to work, shall we?”

You pulled out your notebook, taking a seat on the floor and gesturing for him to join you.

“Why are you sitting on the floor, idiot?”

“I don’t have two chairs for both of us to work at the desk, so therefore the floor is our next best option.”

“No it isn’t.” Bakugou rolled his eyes. “You have a bed, don’t you? We can just sit on your bed and that way you don’t have to break you tailbone on the floor. Unless you like sitting on the hard floor.”

You gritted your teeth, glaring up at the challenge.

You pushed off from your hand, standing so you could loom over where he sat at your desk. “Fine. Bed it is then.”

You took a seat on your bed as he stood up from your desk chair he had invited himself to sit in. You waited for him to take his spot next to you on the bed, but he hesitated. For a guy who had suggested this idea, he didn’t seem to like it very much. Your surprise wore off though when you realized that he was being…awkward. Bakugou Katsuki was being awkward.

Was it you? Had you done something to make him uncomfortable? Or had he just been shy this whole time?

You could have laughed at him, but instead you took pity. You remembered your first year, when you had been painfully awkward. Maybe Bakugou had always been like that and you had just never had occasion to notice until now.

“Go ahead,” you said, patting the bed next to you. “Take a seat. I don’t bite, and even if I did you would like it.”

You laughed a little bit at your own joke, even if Bakugou didn’t seem to think it was very funny. You did succeed in getting him to sit on the bed though, so some small victories were won. He was stiff and sat much farther away from you than necessary, but he sat nonetheless.

After hours of working together, you managed to have a rough outline for the project. It was sort of a tricky project, based around gathering knowledge and making a presentation on the hero you thought to be the best. Bakugou had insisted with surprising vehemence on making it on All Might, and you agreed with him. After all, he was the symbol of peace and had been the #1 hero for decades. Even though this was a move you would have predicted more from Midoriya, you figured if you were going to do this project you might as well do it right.

Bakugou got up to head to bed, but you stopped him before he could leave. “Hey…I didn’t know you were so into All Might.”

Bakugou blushed, nervously scratching the back of his head.

“I mean, we all love All Might, don’t we?”

“I mean, I know I do.” You laughed a little to set him at ease before revealing a little bit of yourself. “When I was a kid All Might was always my favorite hero because of his smile. I always thought that if someone were ever to come save me, I would want them to smile at me like that.”

Bakugou was silent for a moment, thinking about your words.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. I was always so impressed by his strength, and the way people loved him. I always wanted to be loved like that. I wanted to make people believe that I could help them. That they could trust me.”

There was a deep sense of vulnerability to his words that made you want to know more and made you want to understand this boy you had clearly underestimated.

“Is that why you became a hero?”

He huffed, retreating back into himself.  “I became a hero to prove I was better than everybody.”

In a way, it was a yes.

“Have a goodnight, Bakugou.”

He stopped in your doorway, looking back at you with a hint of that vulnerability from earlier.

“Goodnight.”

You had been working nonstop for the past 4 days. You had your schedule set up to an unreasonable level of strictness. You would work for an hour, watch a 10 minute motivational video, then work for an hour again. The only real breaks you took were to eat and sleep, and it was starting to wear on you. You just had so much work to do, and you needed to be free this weekend for the sleepover Mina was having, but you were exhausted.

You had finally reached a breaking point tonight, and you found yourself sitting in your bed crying. You weren’t pretty crying either. It was an ugly, exhausted cry, yanked out of you by the hours of work and stress. You had fallen onto your side, curled up in bed as the sounds choked out of you, ugly things breaking you open and cracking your chest and your voice.

Because of all the stress you had been under, you had completely forgotten about your group project. You had met up with Bakugou the first couple of days, but yesterday you had begged off and reschedule for…today. Right now.

You didn’t even hear Bakugou’s polite knock on your door, the same three knock rap he had given the last few days before coming in to work on your project with you for an hour. If he thought you were ignoring him or just not there, it didn’t stop him from coming in. You didn’t notice, completely oblivious to his presence until he spoke.

“Are you hurt?”

He rushed over to your side, rolling over your body to inspect you. His hands were surprisingly gentle as they skimmed over your body, checking for injuries, gently pressing into the divots of old scars. He found no hurt on you though, and pulled back, frowning.

“What’s the matter? Why are you crying?”

You sniffled loudly, shamefully wiping your arm across your face.

“I’m fine,” you reassured him, repeating it for your own benefit. “I’m fine, I’m totally fine. Everything is fine.”

“You sound like stupid Deku. Every time he’s ever told me he was fine he was lying.”

You choked out a giggle against your will. “Yeah, he does that doesn’t he?”

“Yeah, he does. But unlike Deku you’re not stupid. You want to explain this little episode to me?”

“I’m just…stressed.” You sighed, explaining your situation to him.

He sat back, stunned. “Well no wonder you finally broke. Nobody can work like that. You have to have fun, you idiot!”

For such a nice sentiment, he said it awfully aggressively. He almost made you burst into tears again, but he seemed to realize his mistake, quickly softening his voice again as he floundered for something to say.

“I…you…I’ve never seen you cry before,” he said.

“Yeah, well, I do it. This may come as a surprise but I’m human too, y’know.”

His hands still rested on your thighs, and you looked up at him hesitantly, breath catching in your throat. You had, of course, noticed that he was pretty before. Sharp cheek bones, harsh blond hair, bright red eyes that dug into your soul. Somehow though, he had gotten prettier over the past couple of days as you had gotten to know him, gotten to understand him better.

Before, you had thought he was arrogant. From your conversations though, you knew better. He just cared about people too much. Cared about their opinions too much, feared rejection. You offered up a little piece of yourself in exchange for everything he had admitted to you.

“Remember what I told you about All Might being my favorite hero? I thought to be a good hero you had to always be smiling. You could never show weakness. Not anger or sadness or anything else. That’s why you’ve never seen me cry before. Why I’m always so happy go lucky. Because I have to be.”

There was a pause while Bakugou processed that information.

“That’s…stupid,” he decided. “You shouldn’t hold back on your emotions like that. You deserve to feel things. You can’t dedicate your life to other people like that.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m starting to figure that out.” You stared down at your bedspread.

You were shocked when you felt a warm, calloused hand brush your cheek. Bakugou hesitantly, tenderly wiped the last of your tears away, and you felt something in your heart flutter. You had known Bakugou Katsuki a long time, but you had never known him like this. Looking up into his eyes did nothing to dispel your butterflies when you saw how soft his gaze was. Something in you ached to be looked at like that, to be held in someone’s hands as carefully as he was holding you now.

“Can I…can I kiss you?”

You weren’t sure where the question had come from, and yet you were, because some time along the way of getting to know him you had realized something. Everything you had thought there was to hate about Bakugou was really something to love. Over the course of this project, you had done something extraordinarily stupid. You had developed feelings for a boy who would never like you back. Which was why his next words stole your breath entirely.

“Please,” Bakugou said, his words a sticky sweet, fervent plea.

You blinked, daring to look at him again only to find him wide open to you. He was leaning forward, a look in his eyes you could scarcely describe, a feverish desire overcoming him. His hand on your face twitched ever so slightly in anticipation as you leaned forward.

When your lips met his, you were surprised by the easiness of it. You fell forward into him, arms draped around his broad shoulders as he pulled you in, large hand wrapping around your waist, firm and capable. He tasted like burnt sugar, impossibly so, and it made your head spin, made you dizzy with the sensation. It made you hungry for him.

When he licked your lower lip, you let him swallow you down, hands blazing a fiery trail across your waist to your back, making the trip over and over and burning into you with their warmth. You tugged on his hair lightly, eliciting a moan from him that shot straight through your chest. You gasped into his open mouth, your clumsy kiss flipping when he slipped his tongue into your mouth. Everything became easier when you let him take over, let him pull you into his lap up against the hardness of his body and tilt your head to the side just so, pliable and soft in his arms. Kissing him became easy and natural, shivers running through your body as you surrendered yourself to the experience.

When he finally pulled away, you found yourself licking a mixture of your spit and his off your mouth, not even minding how profoundly gross that was. Normally you would have shuddered, but you were far too busy staring at him, mesmerized and breathless.

“You, uh…that was…that was really nice. And I think you’re pretty.” Bakugou coughed. “Do you want to go out sometime? Because obviously you need somebody to distract you from your homework, stupid. Look what you did. Made a mess of yourself.”

You ducked your head into his shoulder at his words, hiding your face and your embarrassment. “Yeah, sure. That sounds nice.”

He hummed, the sound resonating in his chest and traveling straight to your ear. “Can I…kiss you again then?”

“I thought you would never ask.”

[wreckofawriter]

Magnolia Final Part

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: Mentions of blood and death

Summary: idk dude just read the other chapters first or this is gonna make no sense

A/n: I did this instead of studying for my finals, also it could probably use a neither round of editing but I was anxious to post it. And I really don't give a fuck if this is historically inacurate all research done for this was from Pirate of the Caribbean.

Part 1 Part 2

♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~

You considered the stars your friends, their predictability and reserve made them easy to get along with. You had been taught to read their language from your early days of ships and oceans. As a child, you would speak to them, whispering secrets from your bedroom window. Your young nights had been filled with time spent stretching from the top of your magnolia tree to try and grasp their beauty. Even now as you stared up at the heavens you wished to cradle them like priceless jewels, their wonder never faded. But you supposed their mystery is what made them so appealing, everyone wanted something they could never quite reach.

The news of your captured prince had spread like fire in a dry wind, the letters you had sent to Aldir and their neighboring kingdoms throwing many into action. Sirius’s kingdom was large, powerful, and merciless. Some wanted the prince for leverage, many others wanted blood; revenge driving them to empty treasuries and sharpen swords. At first, you had been sitting pretty, letters of bids coming to you at every stop you made. Eventually, prices got too high and kingdoms decided it would be easier to take than to pay.

Ash burned in the back of your throat, you stared at your feet as the second ship that week crumbled into the ocean. Its flames were heavy on your back, reflecting in the greys of the sea. A particularly large crack of the fire made the breath catch in your throat. Your fear of the element had persisted for years filling your nightmares with smoke and screams. 

As the distance between you and the defeated ship lengthened your heart began to calm. The air was thick with moisture, purple clouds bruising the dull sky. The ocean was frothy, waves lapping tirelessly at the sides of your ship.

Your mind felt dizzy, the taste of blood still thick in your mouth. Two more men had been lost in the fight which had taken place just minutes ago. One flung into the ocean and the other struck by a bullet. That was six bodies that you had been forced to dump into the sea the past month. 

You had to get rid of Sirius before more corpses were to be fed to the sharks. This had never been so strikingly obvious before yet, you hesitated. Nails dug into your palms, the voices in your head fighting a clamoring war. Your feelings were illegible, their messy colors smeared together in an uninterpretable painting. So you threw them away, ignoring the throb in your chest and taking a breath. Sirius was to be sold to the highest bidder and that was that. You felt your past’s grip on your throat loosening. There was only one way to get rid of what used to be, you had to kill it. 

   

Sirius had never been so bewildered before. His life had been a book that was written a thousand times over. The prince falls in love, the queen doesn’t approve, the love runs off, the prince finds the love, and then happily ever after. But life wasn’t as sweet nor simple as a children’s story and this may be the first time that he had ever truly realized that. All it took was the prince to be tied in the love’s basement ready to be sold to his death. 

Sirius woke with a start as metal clattered inches from his face. His heart pounded loudly in his ears as his breath slowly returned to his lungs. He stared at the plate which had woken him, it was piled higher than normal with two rolls dropped next to it. He peered up at the giver of this gift.

He recognized the small blonde as the one he had threatened a few weeks before, the fear he had seen in her eyes that moment now replaced with pity, bitter and soft like rotten fruit. 

“I wanna talk.” She said plainly, toeing the plate towards him like a bribe, he supposed that’s exactly what it was. 

Sirius sat up ignoring the hammer of his head. His hair stuck to his cheek, slick with sweat. The woman whose name he never learned dropped to a squat beside him, a small knife held in her hand. His eyes widened as it glinted in the small gas lamp hanging above his head. 

“Relax.” She sighed cutting the rope that tethered his hands behind his back. 

Sirius felt his shoulders groan in protest as they fell forward, his wrists aching and rubbed red. Hot pin pricks filled his fingers as he clenched and unclenched his fists. 

When he looked back up Adrie was now seated in front of him, her legs crossed. She glanced down at the food and then back up at him, “You can eat if you agree to answer some questions.” Her demands were simple. 

He let silence settle for just a moment, “Fine.” After all, what did he have to lose? His dignity? His pride? They had been sleeping with the fishes for ages. 

She pushed the plate towards him, watching him quietly as he began to eat, “You don’t look like much of a prince to me.” She hummed after a moment.

Sirius swallowed, licking his lips, “Does anyone after two weeks locked in the bottom of a ship full of scum?"

Adrie cracked a smile, “I suppose not.” 

She stared at him still, she was lying a bit. Years held prisoner couldn’t erase the royalty he was raised with, it stuck to him like wet stuck to water. Nothing and everything proved him a prince, you could take his crown but you could never take his title.

“How do you know y/n?”

Sirius was startled by the suddenness of the question but not remotely surprised it was asked, “She hasn’t told you?” 

“I wouldn’t be asking if she had,” Adire responded, her tone was blunt. 

He bit into a roll thoughtfully taking his time to chew slowly, she was patient, her blank expression, not faltering.

“I thought you were friends.” He mumbled with a full mouth. 

Her jaw tightened, “Y/n doesn’t speak of her past.”

“So you’ve come to me for information?” Sirius said mild mockery in his voice.

“Obviously.”

He eyed the woman curiously, she was not what he had expected of your right hand man. Sirius smiled loosely, “You sure you wanna disobey Captain’s orders?” 

“Start talking or I take the food and hang you by your ankles.” 

Sirius huffed glancing between her and his food, “Fine, you win.” 

“Good. Tell me everything.” She demanded.

Sirius felt his throat tighten around the potatoes he had swallowed, his mind ached with hazy memories of summer days and speeding hearts, “There isn’t much to tell.” 

“You’re a bad lair.” Adire hummed. 

Sirius sighed, eyes falling to the bright white scars which laced his hands. He wasn’t sure where else to start but the beginning. He told of a loud baker girl who snuck over the walls into his garden and brought him pastries and friendship. He continued with vague details, of growing up together with swords and stars, reliving each moment he shared. 

He felt his words stiffen as he spoke of falling in love with you. Part of him felt like he was talking of someone completely different. Someone who had burnt up with her parents in a small bakery a million miles away. What was left, muffling cries above him, was a shell of that girl her soul replaced with seaweed and smoke. He pushed the thought away, swallowing it with the lump in his throat as he continued to speak of a proposal he regretted and the consequences of disobeying his mother. 

The broken fairytale cut his tongue filling his mouth with a bitter taste. He attempted to wash it down with the rum his listener had brought to him but its flavor was just as bad, it's only redemption was the warmth that filled his stomach.

Adrie looked at him blankly, "I don't blame her for wanting you dead." 

Sirius wished she had stayed silent. 

"But I pity you, you don't deserve death." 

He didn't look up and instead finished his drink, "Your pity means nothing to me." 

She sighed standing to her feet, "I never thought it did." 

When her boots disappeared up the ladder he let his cup drop to the ground, it rolled knocking into his heel as tears dripped from his chin.

By the time you had dropped anchor just off of Haran, the moisture had dropped from the air. Dry winds and clear skies greeted your crew. 

Rowboats were dropped in the water quickly, the sun was setting fast and a night of cheap ale and cheaper women were in the forefront of many a man's heads. 

You were tired, the happiness of your crewmates falling short at your feet. Exhaustion had replaced all anger and sadness you had harbored for the past weeks making your eyes grow dull as the bags beneath them. The satchel burned under your arms had a note you had written agreeing to the Yerith King’s price. You had singed your finger on the wax used to seal the envelope, it still throbbed a bit with the unsteady beat of your heart. You tried not to think about much on your way to land instead filling your head with that faint burn and fog of the setting sun. 

Adrie watched as you played with the diamond strung around your neck, a new piece she had only seen in recent days. She assumed you had taken it from one of the ships which had recently burnt into the sea. The bright stone was so different from the rest of your jewelry she was surprised you wore it all. Obnoxious gems had never been your type.

She was wrong on this thought, large jewels used to be what you would stare at as you passed shop windows, wishing you had the money to clutch one in your hand. They used to be a dream and a wish, now they were just things you stole and sold to the highest bidder.

Sirius had been briefly told of the plans for the evening. Two men whom he had become somewhat accustomed to during his stay had tied him up. The knots were tighter than usual as they were to be gone for the night. In his usual nature, Sirius complained about the ache of his wrists and the cramps in his legs. His grievances went unheard and his company disappeared from sight. The boat was quiet within the hour, nothing but the creak of old boards and calls of gulls far above his head breaking the silence. 

He drifted in and out of sleep for a few hours, time passing in its usual way, slowly. Finally, a clear thought came to Sirius’s head, he had the whole boat to himself. That meant there was no one to stop him from escaping his certain and quickly approaching death. 

Sirius tried to twist his hands out of the rope for what must have been an hour and only resulted in drawing blood from his wrists. Switching tactics he began to slowly shuffle and roll around the cabin he was in, searching for anything that could cut rope. As the sun’s light began to fade his task was growing difficult. Just before he gave in to his exhaustion Sirius found a bent nail sticking about a centimeter out of the ladder that led to the upper deck. The next two hours were spent rubbing his binds against the dull metal until they finally snapped. 

    After a month of being held prisoner, freedom left him stunned. He stumbled up the ladder until he reached the ship’s deck. The warm breeze which washed over him felt like a gift from the gods. A smile stretched his aching cheeks and for the first time in a while Sirius Black let out a genuine laugh. 

He quickly found a small boat which he could lower to the water. He could be miles away before the sun rose and you found his binds cut. Judging by the port you had stopped at he was only a few days' row from neutral lands. There he could gather himself and write for help. He was saved.

Sirius’s glee was cut short as he realized that he was missing one vital thing; you. The only reason he was out here in the first place was for you. He had spent years following rumors across the sea, he had given up his place as king, he had spent hundreds of thousands on supplies. But the truth was even if he hadn’t done all that, even if he had stumbled across you within a week and spent no more than ten doubloons he still wouldn’t leave this ship alive unless you were by his side. 

Sirius cursed, slamming his fist into the deck. His eyes darted around in what felt like panic. He was trapped between your love and his life and while he had chosen the former weeks ago he had no way of securing it. 

In the dark, a glint of light was seen. A crate of liquor stowed next to the captain’s quarters revealed itself to the pale moon. The man's mind buzzed, he realized quickly that he would need to act fast, the hours of the dark he had left must be well used. 

The deal had been easy, one glance at the large gem and you had a buyer offering hundreds. You walked away with 400 doubloons knowing it was worth much more. Not that you cared, you had been hours from chucking the necklace into the sea. 

It was late at night now, the golden light of pubs and brothels spilling onto the gravel road you walked. Your legs still felt weak, they were accustomed to the sway of boats on sloshing waves not the strange sturdiness of the ground. You hadn’t been able to sleep well on land since you had stepped off it, you had always opted for a swinging hammock over a still cot. 

You swung your bag of coins round in circles as you made your way to the beach. The water was smooth save the ripple of waves drawn by the full moon. Sand glistened silver under your boots, the light crash of water on rocks echoing around you. 

You had never intended to spend the full night on land, your crew was well aware of this fact and none would be surprised to find you gone in the morning. You shoved one of your beached row boats back into the water, splashing about ankle deep before leaping into it. 

When you reached your ship, you sensed something was wrong immediately. The small voice which you tended to ignore was screaming in the back of your head. As you climbed onto the deck the strong scent of liquor overwhelmed you. You heard a soft splash and glanced down to look at the puddle you had stepped into. Swiping two fingers through the fluid and plopping them into your mouth you hummed. There was no mistaking the sharp taste of gin. You looked around to find the leak and instead locked eyes with a figure who stood about 20 meters in front of you. 

“Sirius?” You asked though you already knew it was him, you didn’t think you would ever forget his face, even if it was obscured by the shadows of the moon. 

He gapped at you, unsure of what to say.

You took a step closer and caught a glance of the bottle he held in his hand. Its thin neck was stuffed with a piece of cloth, the soft glow of a gas lamp flickering behind him. The second you realized what he had planned your gun was pointed at his chest.

“Drop the bottle Black.” you hissed with a steady voice despite the fact that your gun was rattling in your hands. Your thoughts were now fogged with fear, plagued by smoke and flames.

Sirius had suddenly found his voice, “I know you’re not stupid enough to fire that. One spark and we’ll both go up in flames.”

Your breaths quickened, vision blurring as tears welled in your eyes. “Why are you doing this?” You croaked. “Why do you want to ruin everything I’ve built for myself?”

“I’m not leaving without you y/n.” He shouted, “I can’t live without you. Just come with me. Please. Just come with me and it will all be fine.” 

You shook your head, “No.”

“Please, please! I need you y/n, I can’t go back without you!” He begged, snatching the lamp from behind him, “I won’t be able to live.”

It was in that moment that you understood he was just as desperate as you, just as lost and hopeless. You dropped your gun to your side, tears sliding slowly down your cheeks. Your throat tightened holding back a sob, “Okay.” You said with a broken voice.

Sirius cracked a small smile, “I knew it.” He sighed, “I knew you still loved me.” Setting down the lamp he opened his arms walking towards you. You met him halfway burying your face into his rough jacket.

“God I missed you y/n,” he whispered as you slipped a knife from under your sleeve.

“I’m so sorry Siri.” You mumbled in response before plunging the blade into his back. 

You held him as he collapsed forward, choking back on his own blood. You had begun to sob, hand still clutching the hilt of the blade which was lodged into him. Eventually his weight became too much to bear and you both fell to the ground. Sirius rolled off next to you, his hand still clasped around your own. The two of you started up at the stars listening as his breaths slowed. Just before they stopped completely you felt a small squeeze of your hand and for just a moment you saw the soft pink of a petal floating towards you.

You weren't sure how long you lay there, staring up at the sky but it was long enough for you to finally realize that you were the villain of your story. It was an odd thing to recognize considering in all of the books you had carried as a child you took the place of the protagonist; the one who swung the sword to save the kingdom You had always been the one to end your life with a happily ever after. 

Now you had realized that you had never been a hero. You had spent your life as a villain in the making, each step you had taken leading you closer and closer to your undeniable fate of evil. You had your chance to be the princess trapped in the tower, but you had ignored the prince and now took the shape of a witch. A witch who stole and killed and burned all that she hated. Some had to do it after all, we can’t all be heroes. There is no story without a villain, at least not one worth reading.

As much as the small baker girl who rested amongst the magnolia tree would have hated you, the woman you saw when you looked in the mirror was okay with who you had become. And if she was okay with it, then why did it matter what the past would have thought? You had been running from it for years and now you would never have to again. Because now your past ran from you. 

taglist:

@april-showers-and-flowers @fleurmoon @chaosinparadise @re-zerohora @pregnant-piggy @approved-by-dentists @theweirdobella @fific7 @whitewashedghanianlol @artemis1orion @justmesadgirl @bberree @songforhema @wangmangagavroche @evyiione @atomicpunkrock @fairywriter-oracle @moon-zodiac @secretsofageek @accio-rogers-blog @roslea @k3nz-doodl3 @theseuscmander @sleepingalaska @chloe-geoghegan1 @obsessedwithrandomthings-blog @coldlilheart @suseptiable-bur-siriusexual @inglorious-imagines @the-natureofme @trickylittlewitch @layaa-layaaa @teheharrypotter @sarcasticallywitty15 @rosieweasleyy @dracosgoodgirl @inglourious-imagines

so many of u changed ur urls so if I have the wrong person tagged or the wrong username let me know

Masterlist

[meltwonu]

8. “Like what you see?”

19. “Take off your clothes.”

48. “You’re so fucking hot when you’re mad.”

notes; idol!soonyoung x stylist!reader, mirror fucking, dirty talk, a little praise kink😗, softdom!soonyoung, oral(fem receiving)/fingering, also waiitttt this is hot😳🥴but u have to imagine 191227 kbs gayo soonyoung with the mesh shirt ykwim, i actually want to sew my own rendition of these green outfits tbh like the seamstress in me is so in love with the green shades and silver accents just *chefs kiss* maybe when i’m not lazy LOL, anyway!! Thank you for liking my long posts😭💕 jdkksfh I know I can’t shut up… This ‘drabble’ is 2200 words bc I got carried away dkjfsf ☠️ And thank you for requesting! Enjoy! 💕

“Take off your clothes.”

Soonyoung pretends to be scandalized; eyes wide and lips parted in an over dramatic gasp. “You didn’t even buy me dinner first~” He jokes, already slipping off his fluffy coat as you roll your eyes.

“Soonyoung, please. I need you to behave and help me pick out the clothes that’ll decide what the rest of the performance unit members will wear. I’m behind and I need to get hip hop unit’s clothes picked out after.” You let out an exasperated sigh, pulling the rack of clothes closer to the two of you as Soonyoung stands and faces the tall full length mirror.

He slides his shirt off, lips in a pout when you toss a silky button up his way. “You’re overworked and you need a break. When was the last time you slept?”

“Try this one first, please. And yes, I’m aware. It’s busy this time of the year, I have a lot of things to do and who knows if I’ll even sleep before the new year.” You say it jokingly, but the look in your eyes tell Soonyoung it might not all be in jest.

“You need a break, baby.”

“I know, okay? Just try this damn shirt on first and we can talk about that later.”

Soonyoung looks good in everything he tries on, but everything he’d tried on so far didn’t seem to have the look you were going for.

“I don’t know… I feel like these black suits are overdone and the uniforms just look too formal, y’know? Maybe we should go for something casual… Maybe more sexy?” You help Soonyoung out of a brocade blazer, tossing it onto the rack as you sigh. “I don’t know, Soonie… You look good in everything but I don’t know what’s the mood right now.”

Soonyoung laughs as he unbuttons the pressed black button up before he, himself, starts going through the rack of clothing. “I’m telling you, you’re overthinking this.” It goes quiet for a bit as he sifts through the rest; a small ‘ah ha!’ leaving his lips when he picks out a dark green velvet lined blazer with matching pants.

“There’s no shirt with this one?” He asks.

“There is, it’s---here.” You help him out, pulling the hanger with the mesh shirt out. “I--I wasn’t sure about this one since it’s gonna be cold. I can put a shirt under it if it’s... y’know.”

“Lemme try it on!”

He shoots you an eager smile; letting you do your job as you help him into the green ensemble.

Your throat goes dry once Soonyoung slips on the blazer and you can’t deny the way your body warms up at the sex appeal that Soonyoung naturaly exudes in the outfit.

“Like what you see?” He grins, doing a spin for you.

Fuck.

“Um--uh…” You’re at a loss for words, suddenly shy with the way Soonyoung shoots you a knowing smirk. “You just saw me with my shirt off so why are you shy now?” You don’t know how to explain it to him, but the mesh shirt that paired with the blazer gave the outfit a sense of flirtatiousness and sexiness without being completely bare.

Soonyoung’s eyes twinkle in a familiar way and you can only gulp knowing exactly where this was going.

“I think… You need to take that break right now.”

“F--fuck, Soonyoung don’t---don’t get the clothes d-dirty!” Whining, you place your hands on his clothed shoulders the second he drops to his knees; still dressed in the outfit as he rolls his eyes up at you.

“It’s fine, if anything it’s just a ‘lil dust. Now shut up and let me eat you out already.”

He had backed you up against the tall mirror, soft praises on his lips the entire time before he’d kissed you hard and slotted a leg between your own. Teasingly, he pressed his chest against your own; smirking when he saw the lust pooling in your eyes when you felt his, essentially, bare skin against your clothed chest. He knew the effect he had on you and it definitely hadn’t been the first time a fitting session ended with more clothes off than on.

Soonyoung pries your legs apart, leaning in and pushing your skirt up until it bunches up around your waist. “You really need a break, baby. When’s the last time I even got to eat you out, hmm?” He doesn’t give you much of a warning before he’s leaning in and licking at you through your panties; a soft moan on your lips at the feeling.

“Ugh, fuck, but it’s me that has to clean it, Soonyoung…” Muttering, you watch as he focuses on teasing you; flattening his tongue against your covered folds and the action has you grinding down onto his tongue, biting your lip at the way him not bothering to move your panties only intensifies the pleasure.

He lets you do as you please; your soft and quiet cries the only noise in the empty changing room. “Oh, Soonyoung…”

Smirking, he slightly pulls away as he brings his fingers up to pull your panties to the side. “I know, baby. Let me make you feel good.” You nod slightly, hazy eyes fluttering shut when you feel his tongue on your skin.

You let out a long groan, head thrown back into the mirror as Soonyoung drags his tongue from your entrance to your clit; flicking at the nub with the tip of his tongue. “Fuck, you’re--you’re such a tease…” You whine, to which he chuckles against your skin.

‘I could be worse,’ he thinks.

He drags his tongue down until he can dip it into your entrance, teasing you when he repeats the action over and over and you quickly find yourself wanting more than just his tongue.

“Fuck, I want m-more…”

Soonyoung takes pity, knowing that this was a much needed break for you. So he brings his fingers up to your folds, collecting the wetness on his index and middle finger as he looks up at you.

“This is cute and all but I do hope you remember we’re on a time crunch.” Grinning, he positions his soaked digits at your entrance before fully sheathing them inside of your tight warmth in one fluid movement. You cry out his name;  body on fire when he curls and scissors his digits just the way he knows you like it.

“Mm, I could eat you out all day. Get you up on that makeup table and eat you out little by little in between sets until your entire body is trembling.” Soonyoung pauses, thrusting his fingers into you hard. “You’d be so cute too, baby. Imagine your ‘lil pussy all wet for me, ready to take my cock after a loooong show. I’d bend you over the sofa and give you what you want. Fuck you nice ‘n good and make you come home with me so I can fuck you again while we get cleaned up in the shower. And you’d be so fuckin’ wet I bet I could slide my cock right into you, huh?”

Soonyoung’s words combined with the skillful flicks of his wrist are almost enough to throw you over the edge. 

But the two of you knew you wanted more.

“G-god, Soonyoung, please! I’m so---so wet you can fuck me n-now!” You harshly whisper; hips moving on their own to meet his hand. The said male smirks, licking his lips before he leans in once more to flick his tongue against your clit.

“You deserve it for working so hard~” He coos.

You’re not sure what it is, but Soonyoung has a fascination with mirrors. You don’t know if it’s because he has to watch himself so often in them, but he takes any chance he gets to fuck you in front of one.

Not that you’d complain.

“Palms flat against the mirror, baby.” You watch through the mirror as he shrugs off the jacket; tossing it haphazardly behind him as it falls to the ground in a lifeless heap. “Goddamn it, Soonyoung! I’m gonna have to dry clean that!”

He can only smirk, repositioning himself behind you as he meets your not-so threatening glare. “You’re so fucking hot when you’re mad. Remind me next time to rip something instead.”

Soonyoung undoes the button and zipper of his pants, shimmying his underwear down just enough for him to wrap a hand around his cock. He lets out a groan as he thrusts up into his palm; smearing the precum down his shaft as you squirm and wiggle your hips. “Soonyoung, please hurry…”

“Ah, guess you’re right. Wouldn’t want someone to walk in on us, would we?”

He moves your panties to the side and positions his cock at your entrance, already inching in before you can open your mouth again. “Oh? You really are soaking, baby.” Your tight warmth sucks him in deeper and when he meets no resistance, he fully bottoms out inside of you as you cry out.

“Fuck m-me, please! I can’t w-wait any longer!”

Soonyoung chuckles under his breath as he draws his hips back, “You’ve been workin’ so hard, baby. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.” He thrusts into you slowly; letting you feel every inch of his cock before he starts a moderately quick pace. “I wish we had more time but, ah, still so much work to do, huh?”

You nod shakily, eyes clamped shut as you focus on the feeling of Soonyoung’s skillful thrusts that are angled perfectly to tap your g-spot. “Ngh, I--y--yeah…”

“Baby, look at me when I’m speaking to you.”

Soonyoung’s voice is gentle and warm, yet firm. And more than enough for you to blink your hazy eyes open. “Suh---sorry…” You mewl.

His stare pierces through the mirror and you can’t deny how attractive Soonyoung looked fucking you in the mesh top that he hadn’t bothered to take off either.

“Ah, look at how cute you are falling apart on my cock. So fuckin’ pretty.” He grits his teeth, already feeling the pleasure building up in his body. “Mm, gonna make you finish up the rest of your workday with my cum inside of your cunt.”

You clench around his cock as you mentally imagine his cum pooling in your panties and soaking through the material while you still had to deal with the other members. “Please… Soonyoung… I--ah, wanna g-go home with your c-cum dripping, mmh, down my t-thighs…”

He lets out a whistle, shaking his head slightly before he laughs. “Since you said please. Touch your clit for me, baby.”

Reaching a hand down, you use your index and middle finger to rub soft circles on the swollen nub; moaning into the mirror and fogging it up as you tighten up around his cock.

“Fuck, baby, I don’t think I’m gonna last much longer…” He mutters.

You can only nod and work your hips back to meet his own thrusts, “M-me too…” You hear him groan before he doubles his pace, fucking into you faster as you feel your body shifting more and more towards the mirror. You rest the side of your face against it, breath fogging it up as the two of you chase your orgasms.

Neither of you know how much time is left in the fitting session, but you really hoped nobody walked in on you slumped against the mirror with your skirt bunched around your waist and Soonyoung with his cock out.

“Cum on my cock, baby. Get it nice ‘n wet before I fill you up.”

You work your fingers quicker on your clit, this time alternating between pinching the nub and rubbing harsher circles to throw yourself over the edge.

“Oh, S---Soonyoung, ‘m c-cumming!”

It only takes a few more perfectly angled thrusts before your orgasm washes over you and Soonyoung’s name rolls off your tongue in a hurried, jumbled mess and through the haze, you can vaguely hear Soonyoung’s groans as he follows suit; hips stuttering and losing rhythm. 

You moan at the feeling of his cock throbbing inside of you just as he moans at the feeling of your walls fluttering and tightening around him; the two of you slowing down your movements as you let the warmth wash over your already heated bodies.

“Fuck…” He mutters.

A sheen of sweat covers his brow and he’s quick to run a hand through his hair as he watches your body tremble underneath him. He chuckles under his breath; letting the remnants of his orgasm ebb away before he’s slowly easing his cock out of you.

You moan at the emptiness and your sticky hand quickly finds purchase on the mirror again to keep yourself upright. Your panties slide back into place like they’d never been moved and you bite your bottom lip when you already start to feel his cum soaking into the fabric.

“Ngh, Soonyoung… I feel… s-sticky… and we---we need to c-clean up...”

The said male is three seconds from laughing when there’s two sharp knocks on the door that have the both of you going rigid at the same time.

“Hey, um, our fitting sesh should’ve started 15 minutes ago. Just… letting you know. We’re... behind.”

Vernon’s shy and quiet voice pierces through the awkward silence and through the mirror you meet Soonyoung’s red cheeks and sheepish smile.

“Oopsies~”

[genshin-scenarios]

To Pierce a Masquerade - Chapter 1

A/N: What better time to post the first chapter of this than on his birthday? Yes, I finally did it - this is the Diluc manhwa-esque fic I talked about, and will be continued with more chapters about once a month!

Warnings/Notes:

Reader is implied to be female, though it isn't explicitly noted for the most part. Slight mentions of alcohol!

Underneath the many chandeliers of the ballroom were figures that twirled like gems in the light. They're clothed in the finest silks and garments, though with the curious addition of masquerade masks, as was the theme of the ball tonight.

You’ve retired to the sidelines for a break from dancing, finding yourself a drink to wind down with. It was a pleasant wine, slightly tart in flavour while not being too dry - and knowing of the past mishaps that occurred with a certain baron’s son, its alcohol content was likely on the low side. Tipsiness, when controlled, was quite regular by the end of nights like these, but no one wanted to witness such a spectacle again; Not when it ended with almost everyone doused in barrels of aged vintage…

Gods, you weren’t even sure how much of the rumors were true, from how drunk you’d gotten yourself - and you weren’t even one that took their alcohol carelessly!

Memories aside, masquerades were the crown prince’s favored theme for events, and as such, were held at least once a year in his honor. He, as word said, liked the anonymity of donning a mask, with only one’s attire as a semblance of a clue to an identity.

He found it fun - and while you’d initially thought the addition of such an accessory was frivolous, you’d begun to see the appeal of it. Even if you couldn’t shed the weight of your noble blood on these nights, you at least would have the freedom of mingling without thoughts of your specific image in mind, as long as you dressed the part.

The music began to swell as the guests waltzed and spun amongst one another - it was time for a new collection of songs, and the most appropriate moment to rotate partners, or join the sea of dancers if one wished.

You contemplated the latter, but who might you dance with? Mingling with unfamiliar faces was fine, but it wasn’t like there was anyone nearby that seemed to be available.

Not anyone you’d be comfortable joining, at least. You thought as a trio approached you. They seemed to have taken their drinks quite heavily, from the way they walked. A woman hung off the arm of a man, laughing at something he said as they neared you. With them was another masked in gray, though he only turned his gaze to yours after listening to something his friends said. Introductions were brief names, as titles would ruin the nature of the ball, before they asked if you’d like to join them on the dance floor.

...You were sure they’re nice, decent people… But there was something in your gut that hindered you from accepting their offer; Which was odd, considering that other than tipsiness, there wasn’t anything else you could objectively pinpoint as a reason.

Could you get away with saying you didn’t feel well..? Though looking at the way they interacted with you and each other, you had a suspicion that they’d simply offer to help rather than just leave you be. People that overestimated their bounds were always harder to handle...

In your dilemma you found your gaze shifting towards the main doors, which weren’t too far away. Maybe it was the desire for an escape that caused you to look there, but no sooner than you could consider other excuses, one of the doors swung open to introduce a latecomer to the event. His entrance was a quiet one, since it was halfway through the evening; You don’t think you would’ve noticed him at all if it wasn’t for the timing and your position here.

It was a man dressed in black and gold, with a similarly subtle mask. He wore a dignified design, but what made him stand out in particular was his hair - a rich scarlet that ran down his back like flames. You’re caught in surprise when he scans the room and eventually looks at you.

Had he sensed your gaze? Regardless, you tense from being caught red-handed, scolding yourself internally for staring. Well, he was quite attractive, even from this distance, but you were raised better than that! You couldn’t simply get distracted by any pretty person you see!

Ah, and now he was walking in your direction. Some over-optimistic part of you considered he might’ve been looking past you rather than at you, but the closer he was, the more apparent it got that that wasn’t the case.

The lady you’d half-forgotten was there stops in her chatter to follow your line of sight. She raises a brow at the redhead. “Do you know him, dear?”

“So you weren’t alone!” Her partner chuckles, as if the notion was a pitiful one to begin with. You might’ve felt annoyed at their over-familiar attitude towards you if it wasn’t for the stranger that was now here.

“Who wasn’t alone?” The stranger asks, tilting his head slightly. You pray that his personality did match his appearance - that he wouldn’t fall into their conversation and make it impossible for you to escape at all.

You can’t help but note that his dark apparel highlighted his features well; He seemed even more like a prince up close.

“Me,” You supplied. “They were kind enough to pay me company when I was taking a break alone...”

That seemed to be enough to help him read the situation. “I see,” The stranger gives you a small bow, placing a hand on his heart. “My apologies for having you wait, my lady.”

You give him a gentle smile, playing along. “It wasn’t a problem, please don’t worry about it.”

“Ooh, in that case, we won’t bother you two any longer.” The lady winks at you, tugging at the arms of her companions as if to clue them in. “The next dance is starting.”

“Shall we?” The stranger offers you his hand, an invitation to dance. You take it, turning back to give the trio a short farewell before he leads you into the fray of dancers.

“Thank you,” You bow your head slightly, adopting a more relaxed smile. “I don’t think they meant any harm, but being crowded like that all of a sudden…”

“They seemed like the type to not read a room.” He observes as you both start a waltz, shoes gliding over the marbled floor. “I’m glad I could help, I have some acquaintances that are the same… They can certainly be quite annoying.”

You have to stop yourself from chuckling at his words. He was certainly more honest than you’d expected, from that gentlemanly rescue earlier. “I thought it might’ve been rude of me to admit such a thing.”

“There’s nothing wrong with stating a fact.” He pauses. “Well, you can at least say that much to me. It’s a night of masks, after all, no one will be any the wiser.”

You’re led into a twirl underneath his arms, at which point you do let out a soft laugh. “That’s true, we’re in a room of unfamiliar faces, at the moment.”

“I think I’d be more worried if you said this sight was a familiar one.”

Your lips quirk. Just who was this guy? “Touche. I wonder if you’re as well-spoken normally?”

“Who knows?” He returns, lips curved covertly. “You’re quite the curious one as well.”

[ddarker-dreams]

Aspiration Part 2. Yan Chrollo x Reader [COMM]

click here for part one! 

“You’ll hurt your neck if you keep craning your head down like that.” 

What good it does to chastise you on an insignificant action like this is beyond you. There isn’t much else to do until you land in this “unknown” destination that he’s spoken of earlier, yet the thought of entertaining conversation with him doesn’t feel appealing either. Being kidnapped will have that effect on you, he shouldn’t expect otherwise but seems to. 

“Nothing a few painkillers won’t solve.” you respond with forced disinterest, flipping to the next page of the magazine Chrollo gave you earlier. It feels like a minor loss to entertain him with a response, your cold shoulder treatment temporarily lifting. 

You’ve read this magazine at least three times by now, hoping that giving your mind something to focus on will steady you in reality. The lackluster stories about summer sales, latest keto recipes, and what celebrities have been up to lately offer none to little substance. Yet your eyes continue scanning them dutifully as if it’s a sacred text recovered by a forgotten civilization.

Letting out a small yawn, you continue to read until you get to the familiar final page once again. Fully intending on completing the cycle of rereading it, Chrollo interrupts this by plucking it from your grasp before you get the chance. All you can offer in return is a halfhearted glare and grimace. 

“Hey! I was reading that.” you protest with a frown, feeling vulnerable without anything to hold onto. 

He ignores your agitated exclamation, placing the magazine out of your reach by his side. “I don’t believe you’re missing out on anything of importance, seeing as you’ve read it multiple times already.” 

Huffing but not humoring him with a response, you cross your arms and stare out the window. The clouds below you are an enticing sight, still not enough to maintain your attention for the remaining thirty or so minutes of this flight. When traveling, it’s always the last amount of time before reaching your destination that feels like the longest.

Chrollo lets out a disapproving sigh at your actions, then pulls back his sleeve to check the time. “It won’t be much longer. I’ll attribute your current behavior to being hungry.”

“Well, yeah, there’s that,” you finally look over at him, lips pursing indignantly. “And there’s the fact that I’ve been kidnapped by an A bounty criminal and am currently heading to god knows where at four in the morning.” 

“You’re by all means welcome to rest.” 

How he can calmly rebuke all your thinly veiled sarcasm is a special talent, like water off a duck’s back. You don’t want to admit it, however, you’re grateful he isn’t hotheaded and offended by your boorish remarks. Watching your tongue would be how any sane person would deal with a threat like this… then there’s you. Making poor decisions and winging it. A life motto, really. 

An invitation to rest your weary eyes isn’t easily declined, an alluring proposal. His presence makes it a challenge to feel comfortable enough to fall asleep, that state leaving you entirely vulnerable. When you’re awake you have some tandem of control, even if it isn’t much. 

“Where exactly would I do that? I don’t see any beds in here.” You emphasize your rebuttal by glancing around the room you two occupy, as if one would materialize at your words. Now that would be a useful nen ability, if he happened to have it. 

Chrollo smiles, in a way that doesn’t sit well with you. “Why not rest on my shoulder?” 

“W-whatever happened to your previous care over the well being of my neck? That’ll just hurt it after five or so minutes.” you stutter back, face flushing as his lips quirk further upwards. Amusement is dancing within his dark eyes, drawing out further discomfort from you. He seems to like exchanges like this, flustering you with the same ease as breathing.

“Painkillers. You said it yourself,” Chrollo throws your previous statement before you, challenging you with a raised eyebrow. “I’d be happy to get them, if that’s the only reservation you have about sleeping on me.” 

Inhaling sharply at his teasing assault, you close your eyes to prevent yourself from doing anything foolish. Gritting your teeth and balling your fists by your side, you remember why you were giving him the cold shoulder earlier. Talking to Chrollo is exasperating, all of his composed words like needles in your skin. Not wanting to swat at the wasp nest any further, your mind starts drifting, in a last ditch effort to distract yourself. 

It’s been an eventful night. The most memorable night of your life, if you’re being honest. You had always acknowledged and accepted the risks of looking into the Phantom Troupe. The stories of their unabashed cruelty served as an appropriate warning. Playing it close to the chest usually entailed fear of death, so never in your wildest dreams were you expecting… whatever this is. 

At least it beats dying? So you’ve got that going for you.

There isn’t anything you can do now, is what you’ve been telling yourself. Playing along with his whims is all you can think to do. It isn’t the ideal situation, but your only option now is to wait for an opening for escape. Even though Chrollo has more strength than you, he is still human. The thought offers a glimmer of encouragement, knowing that people aren’t infallible. You’ll take advantage of any weaknesses you can find. 

Getting more information out of him is a path worth pursuing for the time being. 

“I hope we’re not camping,” you murmur, shuddering at the horrific thought. “Bugs eat me like I���m the last supper.” 

“We won’t be camping. And despite the name, the last supper isn’t actually the last time the disciples ate.” There’s something extremely ironic about a murderer correcting you on this. 

“Please forgive me for not being up to date on biblical theology. I’ll be sure to correct that before the next test,” you deadpan before a realization hits you. “Wait, so what exactly are we doing? How am I even allowed to be on this blimp without my passport? God, none of this makes any sense…” 

“I was beginning to wonder if you’d ever ask. To answer your questions, we’ll be staying at a hotel for a few weeks. I know some people in the area who are interested in purchasing what was stolen earlier.” Chrollo explains with a casual air, smoothing out a wrinkle in his shirt. 

It all hits you again. This is really happening to you. An inescapable reality where you’re at the complete mercy of this man, who despite showing no interest in harming you, is fully capable of doing so. Your contempt style of speaking until now has been a pitiful defense mechanism to help you cope with the extremity of this situation, not doing anything aside from momentarily distracting you. Running a hand through your hair, you feel your heart pounding within once more.

Chrollo takes note of how you shift in your seat, and tilts his head. “I understand this has been quite a lot to process. I meant what I said earlier -- about having no intention to harm you -- unless you do something that forces my hand.” 

He smiles, the warm action not matching up to the dark implications of his words. It makes your blood run cold, how a monster can wear the skin of a human. There isn’t any benefit of getting yourself further worked up, so you continue rambling on. Life is all about testing the boundaries of what you can and can’t get away with. 

“I still… don’t really get it. I know I was looking into information about you guys, but in that case, why not just,” you gulp, fearful that saying it will solidify the possibility. “Kill me? Even more so now that I know more.” 

For the first time all night, Chrollo doesn’t offer an immediate quip in response. He carefully considers your words, in a way that leads you to believe he doesn’t entirely know the answer himself. It’s not that you have a death wish, yet your curiosity is overwhelming. Whenever he does decide to grace you with an answer, maybe you’ll find out something that’ll prove useful to escaping in the future.

“There’s no simple reason that’ll satisfy you. You piqued my interest, and that’s a dangerous thing to do with a thief,” he leans over, clearly assessing you as you back away in response. “I confirmed my suspicions when we spoke earlier in the car. So for the time being… I want to observe you.” 

He was right when he said the answer won’t be satisfactory. His response leaves more questions than answers, some of which you don’t want to delve into. Backing down from this befuddling conversation, you focus on something else.

The soothing night sky outside elicits butterflies in your stomach. Darkness allows for the city lights beneath to stand out, little twinkling dots of light growing closer as the blimp descends. You can’t help but feel a sense of relief knowing that you’ll be on the ground soon, a sense of claustrophobia constricting you in this room with no escape. His suffocating presence doesn’t help on that front. 

Chrollo is finally considerate enough to leave you to your thoughts. Within a few more minutes you’ve made your landing, leaving through a private terminal with what has to be forged ID. A black car rental car is waiting for you outside the airport, Chrollo opening the door to the passenger seat for you. The gentleman-like act almost causes you to roll your eyes, but you’re far too exhausted to do anything other than sitting down obediently. You’ll save the cheek for a later time. 

He shuts some luggage into the trunk, then starts the car with a low hum, driving off to where you presume the hotel he mentioned earlier is. Looking out the window, you squint as the sun begins to rise into the sky. Your eyelids grow heavier by the second, in spite of how desperately you cling to consciousness. Eventually, the world around you grows distant, and you’re lulled into a deep slumber.

Dreamless rest is stolen from you, Chrollo gingerly shaking your shoulders and bringing you back to cruel reality. Letting out a low groan at the unwelcome interruption, you feel like swatting his hands away. “What… oh, it’s you.” 

“Good morning to you too,” If he’s bothered by your unenthusiastic greeting, he doesn’t show it. Taking out the keys from the car, the vehicle ceases making noise. “We’re here now. You did mention wanting to sleep on a bed earlier, didn’t you?”

Craning your neck to look out the window, you see only about half an hour has passed since you first fell asleep. Outside is a grandiose looking building that must be your hotel. As much as you hate to admit it, you find yourself staring at what has to be the very expensive venue. Much more than anything you could ever hope to afford. While you’re appreciating the sight before you, Chrollo gets out to get his luggage. 

That’s right. What are you supposed to do for clothes anyways? All of it’s stuck back at your apartment, and you don’t think Chrollo was generous enough to pack for you. At least a hotel will have toiletries, so that won’t be a concern. 

‘Oh well. I guess we’ll cross that bridge once we get to it.’

“Do you need me to carry you?” Chrollo calls over from the curb, two large suitcases in hand. You realize only one of them has a lock on it.

Not even humoring him with a response, you get out of the car, keeping your distance from him. To your understanding, attempting to flee or signal down anyone will earn “unwanted consequences”, or at least that’s how he put it. It’s one thing to endanger yourself in a daring escape, but you can’t justify putting other’s lives on the line. 

Morning chill prompts you to wrap your arms around yourself, warding off the cold. Following Chrollo’s lead, you head through revolving doors into a breathtaking lobby. Warm, yellow light from a glass chandelier basks the room in an ethereal glow, accenting the white marble flooring. He walks up to one of the employees behind a desk, checking in and getting a key to the room. 

In the liberating few minutes away from Chrollo, your eyes sweep the surroundings for any openings. Is it possible to make a run for it for one of the cars outside? He’s fast -- you’ve seen it for yourself -- undoubtedly more than you. Such an obvious attempt at escape will only be met with failure. The lobby is wide open, no possibilities for hiding evident. 

‘There goes that idea.’

Your insistent glancing around the area must’ve given you away, Chrollo placing a warning hand on your shoulder, and giving a firm squeeze. “Let’s head to our room. You must be exhausted by now.” 

Once again offering no signs of protest, you head to an elevator together. Chrollo hits the button with the highest number on it. Ascending upwards, you watch the lights around the rims of the buttons with interest until it reaches level thirty. The elevator adds to your dizziness, a fuzzy feeling budding in your head. 

With a ding, the door opens to reveal a long hallway. Chrollo checks the number on his key once more, before navigating to a room.

Finally, after what feels like forever, he opens the door to your shared suite. The lobby clued you in earlier that this is no cheap hotel, the suite confirming that. Since it’s at the top of the building, the entire city is visible to you. It’s a breathtaking sight, one that keeps you entranced as Chrollo shuts the door behind you. Looking out the window, you see more signs of life as the morning progresses.

The glass opens up to a balcony, the handle locked and cold to the touch. It’s probably not a good idea to walk out without permission, not sure of the act could be interpreted in a negative way. 

Chrollo takes a place by your side, a little too close for your liking. Amidst the beauty before him, he’s more interested in looking at you. “I take it you like the view?” 

“I’ve never been in a place like this,” you tell him, eyes wide and mouth agape at the breathtaking scenery. “If I had known we’d be staying here, I would’ve let you kidnap me sooner.”

“That’s a joke, by the way.” 

He chuckles lowly at your rushed cover up, thinking little of it. “Are you hungry?” 

Now that gets your attention. You can only imagine how wonderful the food here is, and you haven’t had anything to eat since your dinner last night. Having gone so long without food you’re surprised you aren’t ravenous, the kidnapping likely stunting your appetite. Still, you won’t be turning down the offer. 

You nod your head to confirm his words. Chrollo walks over to a phone in the room to place an order for room service, quietly listing off a variety of breakfast foods. While he’s occupied doing this, you look around what will be your residence for the next few weeks. He must not take any issue in your wondering about, seeing as he’s covering the only possible exit. How considerate of him. 

While he’s busy placing an order, you wonder off to take in your surroundings. From the door that leads to the hallway is a small closet on the left, and an expansive kitchen in the middle of the room. To the right of which is a living room, all surrounded by glass windows. That leaves your sleeping arrangement. 

Saving the bedroom for last, your fears are confirmed. You realize that even in such an expansive suite, there’s only a single bedroom, with a king sized bed. Luck doesn’t seem to be on your side. Well, it’s not like you can’t sleep on the floor or couch if the opportunity presents itself. A nagging voice in the back of your mind tells you Chrollo won’t allow for that, unfortunately. 

Plopping yourself down on the right side of the bed, you could almost melt into the comfortable mattress. Tempting as it is to fall asleep, you don’t trust Chrollo enough to give that a shot. Frowning at your fancy evening wear from the previous night, your previous concern about not having any clothes to change into returns. The bathroom did have a fluffy, white robe in it. 

‘That feels too vulnerable... I’ll take my chances with the dress.’

Getting up before you fall asleep, you look around for anything that might be useful. The phone in the living room might be an idea, if you could somehow call and alert the staff of your predicament. Something tells you Chrollo has already taken that into account, and you write off the idea as soon as it appears.

Speaking of Chrollo, he enters the bedroom with an inviting cart of food in front of him. Everything from hashed browns, scrambled eggs, pastries, pancakes, bacon and waffles sit atop silver plates. 

“I wasn’t sure what you like, so I got everything. Help yourself.” 

Not needing to be told twice, you grab a plate and go to town. Chrollo grabs a steaming cup of tea, taking a sip and sitting down next to you. The bed creaks underneath his added weight, you too occupied with eating to care about the implications of his action.

He raises the glass to his lips. “Is there anything else you want to ask me, [First]?” 

Swallowing your previous bite, you give his question some thought. There is plenty on your mind that you’d love to know. A better, more conclusive answer for why he kidnapped you at the top of that list. You recall how he looked detached from reality when you asked him about it on the blimp, leading you to believe that asking again will earn a similar result.

‘It’d be best to play it safe for now.’

“Yes, actually,” you take a bite of a blueberry muffin, wiping your mouth before continuing. “Am I supposed to wear this damned dress for the remainder of this... arrangement?” 

"As lovely as you look in it, no. One of the suitcases has clothes for you, among other things.” 

Blinking at this new information, you wonder if he ever intended on telling you this. In your short time of being acquainted with Chrollo, you’ve picked up on how he rewards you for conversation. Humiliating as it is to play along with his tune, you’ll have to do just that. 

“Other things...?” you repeat back in a faint murmur, showcasing your confusion by tilting your head. Chrollo nods his head in affirmation to this, setting his now empty tea cup on a nightstand with a faint click. 

“You strike me as the type to want something to do, so I went through the trouble of procuring a few of your belongings. A few books, and the like.” 

‘Ah. How terribly considerate of him.’ 

It’s not much, but knowing you have some of your personal possessions is comforting. Anything is better than being stuck alone with him, or your thoughts. The worst possible case scenarios. 

Your meal now finished, you get up and place your dirty plates back onto the tray. Chrollo continues relaxing, eyes still following your every moment. How is he not exhausted? The only thing keeping you awake is your fear of what could happen when you’re asleep, and even that is beginning to wane. Maybe some caffeine will help with that. 

“I’m gonna get my stuff.” you call over, holding your breath in anticipation of a response. 

At his lack of protest, you assume this action is approved of. Helping yourself to the suitcase without a lock on it, you unzip it to find it’s just as he said. Some of your clothes from home, your switch, books, a few offline games, your favorite perfume, shampoo and body wash. 

It’s creepy to know someone went into your residence and took your stuff, but that’s the least of your problems right now. While grabbing a change of clothes, a thought hits you. Looking up towards the phone Chrollo used to call room service earlier, your hand twitches by your side. It’s a temptation, taunting you over the possibility of freedom. 

‘He’s in the other room relaxing. Maybe, just maybe I have enough time...’

Cautiously, as not to alert him of your scheme, you begin to silently tiptoe over to the phone. Time feels like it goes slower, not even trusting yourself to breathe in fear of him hearing it. Hand hovering over your possible saving grace, your fingers grow closer to pressing 9. 

That’s when he appears in the corner of your eye, leading you to hurriedly bring back your hand and straighten your back. 

“I already cut the wires. It was a good idea though.” he calls over from the doorway, leaning against it and smiling in a way that makes your stomach curl. Not a single detail has gone overlooked, but what were you expecting from a mastermind criminal who has managed to go this long without being caught? 

Checking to see if his words hold any merit, you find it’s just as he said. Wires cut in a single clean motion, biting your lip as your hopes evaporate in front of you. 

It reminds you of Tantalus. Who was cursed to be hungry and thirsty forever, in the taunting reach of food and water that’d recede whenever he went to partake in it. An eternal punishment you’re now being subjected to. 

‘I should’ve known it wouldn’t have been so easy. Still, how could he have not made a single sound? I didn’t even hear the bed creak.’ 

Laughing nervously at being caught, you step back as to avoid further consequence, cheeks flushing at being caught in your measly attempt. “Just... checking to make sure all is in order, aha...” 

Walking away from it, you look to change the subject. Chrollo doesn’t seem bothered by your defiant actions, having clearly already anticipated your idea. He rolls out the cart from before, leading you to stiffen when he walks past you. Heart pounding away in your chest, you silently observe him opening the door to place it outside. 

He looks back at your anxious form after shutting the door. “I’d rather not have to constantly monitor you. Whether or not I do will be determined by how you act.” 

There’s a thick pressure in the room from his words, one that pushes down on you like a heavy weight. Unable to maintain eye contact with him any longer, you look to the side, clutching your clothes to your person. Chrollo doesn’t have to resort to infuriated threats or physical violence, his presence commanding enough on its own.

To ease the tension in the air, Chrollo speaks up. “If I happened to leave out anything you need, let me know.” 

Grateful for the change in subject, you nod your head in a daze. From now on you’ll have to be more discreet. Mentally slapping yourself for not giving your earlier actions more consideration, you move on at Chrollo’s lack of reprimanding. 

“Is it alright if I get changed?” you speak up, voice meek enough to remind you of a mouse. Chrollo considers you before nodding his head. You jump at the opportunity to be alone, borderline running to the master bathroom and shutting the door behind you.

Looking in the mirror, you see your frowning reflection staring back. Placing a hand to your face, you inspect the bags forming underneath your eyes. Peeling off the dress feels heavenly, using a wet rag on the sink to quickly clean your body. Showering with a murderer in the other room isn’t a tempting proposition.

Putting on your clothes, you feel like a new person. Straightening up your hair and splashing your face with cold water, you place your hands onto the cool marble counter top. 

‘I’m going to get out of this. It’ll be okay, [First]. Stay calm.’

Finishing your mini pep talk, you fold your previous outfit and place it on the floor. Will Chrollo even allow someone into your room to clean it? Not that it matters, seeing as you spotted a washer and dryer earlier. 

He’s sitting up in bed when you open the door, a book now in hand. At your presence, he looks up to acknowledge you. Chrollo’s dark hair frames his face, and you flush at his admittedly handsome appearance. How are you supposed to remain composed in his company? 

“I can close the blinds if you intend to sleep.” he offers before turning to the next page of his book. 

Oh, that’s right. Now that you’re wearing pajamas he must assume you want to sleep. The next hurdle of this headache inducing dilemma, Chrollo having the expectation of you resting next to him. Eyelids feeling heavier by the second, you wonder how much coffee would be necessary to keep you awake.

That’d still be delaying the inevitable. Coffee or not you won’t be able to stay conscious forever. Earlier, when you fell asleep in the car, he didn’t do anything weird... right? Nothing that you can account for. 

He looks up at you, noting your lack of response. Unfreezing from your prior stiff position, you make the decision to sit down next to the bed. Chrollo most likely wants you where he can see you after your previous stunt, and sleeping on the floor isn’t the worst thing in the world.

Aside from the back pains. 

Making yourself comfortable, you fully intend to fall asleep on the floor. Chrollo closes his book at your antics, coming over to your side of the bed and frowning. “What are you doing?”

“I’m about to sleep.” 

“... On the floor?”

“Yeah, that’s the plan.” 

Unreadable grey eyes pierce through your being, sending chills down your spine. From your previous interactions with him, you thought a measly sign of resistance such as this one wouldn’t matter. Your initial assessment must be incorrect, as he sends you a disapproving look.

“There’s no reed for that.” he reasons with you, leaving little room for argument. Not wanting to give in, you remain planted in your spot. Without wasting anymore time, he gets up and crouches next to you. You wonder if he’s going to chastise you further for your childish actions. 

He instead lifts you up in a single, fluid motion. A small noise of shock leaves your lips at the sensation of being hoisted up, scrambling to clutch onto him in fear of falling. It doesn’t last long, as he places you down onto the bed with gentleness that you didn’t expect him to have.

Arms receding back to his side, Chrollo returns to his previous position as if nothing out of the ordinary had just occurred. You feel your face burning, a bright red glow coupled with it. The scent of his cologne lingers, memory of his touch flustering you further. 

Clearing your throat to play off the events, you still can’t manage to look at him. “I was planning on sleeping here, actually. Was just testing the floor out.” 

He opens his book back up to its previous page, lips quirking into an amused smile. “I’m sure you were.” 

Having no other options, you lay on your side facing the wall. Muscles taut and incapable of relaxing in his presence, you squeeze your eyes shut to no avail. All you hear is the gentle hum of the air conditioner on the wall, and the occasional page flip from him. 

More time passes, at a snails pace. An hour ago you would’ve entered slumber easily, now it taunts and eludes you. Huffing at your inability to rest, you adjust yourself against the soft mattress. 

Sighing quietly in defeat, you attempt to make conversation to pass the time. “Do you not ever need to sleep?” 

“I’ll be fine for a while longer. Are you concerned for my well being?” You can imagine the smug visage on his face, clear as day. It’s tempting to want to bite back with no, you’re not very worried about his health. You bite your tongue and instead ignore the teasing.

Sitting up and hugging your knees to your chest, you look over at him. His guard is still on high alert even while he’s reading. There’s an immeasurably gap in strength between you two, accented by his casual demeanor. 

“That makes two of us. I don’t feel tired now,” you narrow your eyes in his direction, wanting desperately to know what it is he’s thinking. “Something tells me we’re not going to be sitting here all day.” 

“For a majority of it. I’ll consider taking you out for dinner if you continue acting agreeable.” 

Tempting you with food, huh? It’s a most valiant effort, one that almost threatens to win you over. Especially since cities always have a variety of nice restaurants to choose from. Giving his proposition some thought, you realize there might be a catch. There always is with these kinds of ordeals. 

“What is your definition of... agreeable?” 

Disliking the way the word feels on your tongue, you purse your lips. Dehumanizing is how you’d describe it, knowing that your actions are being analyzed and studied. If Chrollo notices the bitterness in your voice, he doesn’t feel a need to mention it.

“I don’t care much for labels, but I’d equate it to wanting to date you. I told you earlier that I had taken an interest in you, that’s what I meant.” Chrollo explains to you with ease that tells you how much thought he’s given it.

When he had told you he was interested in you earlier, you thought he meant it in an entirely different way. Like how you find a certain movie interesting or entertaining. Now you’re unsure what to think. Mind swarming with thoughts ranging from maybe it’s a good thing, to what do you do now? 

Finally, you deliver your eloquent and delicately woven response, having put every level of care into it. 

“Oh.” 

Glancing over at your dumbfounded expression, he can’t help but laugh airily at your mortified look. 

“I’ll take that as a yes.” 

[deceasedanddesist]

unrequited ( lily evans )

this is for @strawberrywafer​‘s 300 writing challenge 

pairing: lily evans x griffyndor!reader

fem! reader ( pronouns are not specified )

warnings: lots of angst, not a happy ending, mentions of homophobia, lots of talk about emotional turmoil and pain.

notes: i love me some angst, especially if its sapphic. i personally have experienced being in love with your straight best friend and I may or may not have cried writing this. enjoy :)

word count: 2.2k

you were in love with your best friend. it was the most gut wrenching form of self sabotage that you could fathom, and the worst part was you couldn’t even be mad at her, or even james potter for that matter.

its not like you couldn’t see the appeal, i mean he was stuck in the same boat as you. almost. if you didn’t see her subtle double takes when he walked into a room or the lingering disappointment in her eyes when he did something ridiculously immature, you probably would have bought the half-hearted glares and demeaning nicknames. if only you hadn’t paid so much attention to her striking emerald eyes as she watched the back of his head at the first feast of seventh year, you probably would have been fooled along with everyone else.

that was when you knew you were royally fucked, because she just didn’t seem into it this year. at first you tricked yourself into thinking it was because she was finally sick of him after all the years of extravagantly expressing his undying love for her, but a few weeks into your final year at hogwarts you knew. you knew it wasn’t because she was tired of him, it was because she was tired of pretending she didn’t love him back.

so no, you weren’t mad at james potter, in all of his arrogant, quidditch all-star glory. and you weren’t mad at lily evans—but who were you kidding, you could never be mad at her. you realized the anger you felt, that burning, self destructive pit in your stomach, was directed at yourself.

how could you let this happen? it had been in fifth year when you realized the feelings you harboured towards your roommate were not something a friend should feel for a friend. you kicked yourself for it then and you do the same thing now, because you always knew the red-head talked about james potter too much for it to just be out of hatred. what was it that you were always telling her, “there’s a thin line between hate and love, lils”, and it felt like you took a stake to the heart when you found out that she began to look at him with something in her eyes that you knew oh-so well. it was the one thing you and potter had in common.

then they were together, it happened faster than you could say quidditch. one minute james potter was professing his love, as per usual, and none of your peers looked twice at the impromptu great hall confessional. well, until people realized lily wasn't yelling and calling him an ‘arrogant toerag’. 

you knew it was coming, and as much as you wanted to squeeze your eyes shut until they’d have to be pried opened by marlene, you forced yourself to watch as she finally said yes to the love of her life. you don't know why you did it, looking back, you would’ve walked out as soon as you came to the realization. maybe you felt you deserved it, after all, your parents aren't very supportive of who you love. maybe your mom’s world-crushing passive aggressive comments, or your dad’s suggestion about sending you away to some church town in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere were finally getting to your head. 

they found out this summer, unbeknownst to all of your friends and peers. you still aren’t quite sure what happened, all you knew was that they found a more than friendly unsent letter to a beautiful red-head, and you certainly didn’t think your life could get any worse.....until now. 

you hadn't realized your head had gone off into space until mary macdonald nudged you back into reality, giving you time to evaluate the situation. 

lily had sat back down and began to furiously blush, while james was getting patted on the back by people from numerous houses, even he himself looked quite shocked she actually agreed to go out with him. 

you told yourself you tried to listen to what lily was telling the group of girls, but in reality you were accumulating strategies in your head on how to slip away unnoticed to go cry somewhere. you didn't want to hear lily talking about where james was going to take her, and you certainly weren't gonna listen to her go on about how hard it was to keep up her resolve all of these years. 

so you left, and when you looked back, she hadn't even glanced your way. 

it didn't even come to a surprise to you that you were easily forgotten, and you hated yourself for it. you hated yourself for ignoring the obvious fact that lily evans and james potter were always meant to be together, and you hated that you would ignore factoring it into the equations you imagined in your head.

you hated being out of control, so you focused on the one thing you could. staying away from her. 

it was completely selfish. you knew it, and so did marlene, mary, and dorcas. but you didn't give them time to convince you, because in your head this was the only option to help you get over her. 

you walked into the dorm after you got confirmation lily was asleep, and you were gone before she woke up. lily didn't have any idea why and you almost felt bad for her, but you couldn’t bring yourself to. why? because she's the one that gets a happy ending, and the absence of one friend ( no matter how important you were to her ) isn’t going to fuck that up. 

you were unlucky enough to get the short end of the stick, and it made you want to scream. the pressure of doing good on your n.e.w.t.s so you don't have to spend another suffocating summer with your parents, and now, with all of this unexplained weight on your chest that you have yet to figure out how to get rid of. it was infuriating, and letting it all brew up inside yourself was bound to make a mess later. 

you knew that later would come eventually, but you never knew it would be in the form of james potter. 

the realization came to you as soon as you saw the look on his face as he walked towards you in the hallway outside of the potions classroom you just walked out of. he looked spooked almost, like he felt a severe sense of dread to have this conversation with you. 

“hey.” he dragged it out as the one word left his mouth. yup, definitely dreading this. 

“hi.” you matched his awkwardness, he cringed like he was realizing how stupid he sounded. “you’re here about lily.” 

you saved him the trouble. both of you didn't want to be here having this conversation, and he looked like he was on the verge of a stroke. not the confrontational type, you noted silently. 

“yeah,” he paused and took the time to observe your stance, his brows furrowed almost, like he was wondering why you were so nonchalant about this. “just here to clear up a few things.” 

it was your turn to furrow your brows. clear up a few things? why would lily send james to do her bidding? 

“I don't know what exactly needs to be cleared between us, potter.” you unintentionally spat his name out like it was poison to you. immediately deflating when you saw his face drop, this wasn’t his fault after all. 

“okay, it’s clear that you don't like me, but I don't know what that has to do with lily.” he paused once again before reluctantly continuing, “at first I thought it was because you fancied me-” 

his words were cut off by your laugh, “how heteronormative. no offence james, but you’re really far from my type.” 

his eyes widened, you nodded.

“if lily wants to ‘clear up a few things’ she can come to me herself.” 

you left with the last words, and a bewildered james potter as an added bonus.

it had been a few weeks since that conversation, and you didn’t think lily got the message. well, that was until she somehow bribed mary into telling you she went to sleep early and  managed to clear out the room. you guys always joked that she was the weakest link.

you were dissatisfied with yourself when you found that when you looked at her, all you could think about was how beautiful her eyes were. her red tresses appeared to be lazily thrown up into a bun, and she adorned some gryffindor pyjamas that the school provides you with every year.

you let out a breath you’ve been holding ever since the decision to distance yourself from her. it was like the weight you’ve been carrying was replaced with dread, because now you had to tell her, and you weren’t worried for your feelings, you were worried for hers. one think you knew for sure was that lily evans had an enormous heart, and it would be like passing the weight of your unrequited feelings onto her, and who would want someone they loved to deal with that.

“hi.” you decided to initiate the heavy exchange that was about to occur, you don’t know why you did it.

“we need to talk, y/n”

you just nodded. wanting to hear what she had to say first, you gestured to her meekly.

“i know you and james had a conversation, he told me,” she paused, seemingly collecting herself before she addressed the question that you knew she already knew the answer to. “i’m just a tad confused about the context of your side of it.”

“no you’re not lily.” you whispered it so softly you weren’t even sure she heard you, but the bit of breath she took in out of shock let you know she caught the innuendo.

“i-,” she collected herself once again, “i don’t know what to say, y/n.”

you looked down, because the pitying look she was giving you was going to make you mad if you looked at it any longer. with every utterance of your name, you felt a pang in your chest, the congestion of emotions finally clawing their way out. it was thick and it was coming out of you with the speed of a freight train, you broke the silence first.”

“look, you don’t have to say anything. i know you don’t reciprocate, and i’ve accepted it.” you hoped the one conversation you could never control the outcome of was over, and you did try to leave it at that by walking to your trunk and grabbing your night clothes, but something lily said stopped you.

“why did you keep this from me?” she seemed a bit angry, and the shock of it rolled through you as you processed the tone in which she spoke.

but to her surprise you just let out a wet laugh, wishing she would just let it go and let you sob it out in peace, but before you could even open your mouth to speak she did it for you.

“you just ignored me, like i had no business knowing that you feel this way towards me. it could have been different, you know.” she looked like what she said pained her to do so, and you hated it.

the tears were already flowing freely down your cheeks when you turned back around to face her,

“i was right here lily, by your side all along but you never saw me, did you?” you were full on snot nosed crying now, but you continued anyways.

“i know you’re angry because i’ve been ignoring you, but i just want you to be happy, and that can’t happen if you know i’m in love with you.”

“why-”

“because i’m around you constantly, lily. you’d never forgive yourself for not reciprocating, so we’re better off like this.” she looked like she was gonna disagree, so you added “i know you, and you know it’s true too.”

she took one unconscious step closer to you, to which you stepped back.

“just let me go,” you begged, “it’s better this way, i promise.”

she took one good look at your tear stricken face, “how can you know this is better y/n, look at you.”

you wiped your nose on your sleeve, “i’ve been dealing with this for so long. just let me go, if not for your sake, do it for mine.” she wasn’t going to let up until you looked at her and attempted to once again beg, but it just came out as a silent plea overcome by your fresh tears.

you just looked down, waiting until you heard her footsteps out the door to let your knees give out.

you really hoped all this pain would be better for you in the long run.