#like i feel so jazzy and cool

[boimgfrog]

have a problem (<- can't stop buying cheap press on nails 4 the .5 secs of childlike glee before remembering how terrible having long nails is and ripping them off like a caged chimpanzee)

[coconut530]

AMAZING CRANE WIVES ALBUM I LOVED IT A LOT!!! MAD DOG RUSHING RIVER ARCTURUS BEAMING SCARS MY BELOVEDS!!!

ALSO

Was SOOOO not expecting them to drop a single today, of all days. And it FREAKING SLAPS 👏🏼!! BEAT DROPS INSANE

[wynnyfryd]

Trailer park Steve AU part 35

part 1 | part 34 | ao3

cw: Fred slander apologies to any Freds

“Okayyy,” Robin says with a shaky laugh as she points at everyone in the booth, going around the circle and introducing them in a single breath. “Amy-Tim-Vickie-Beth-Grant-Jordan-Fred, aaand Nancy. You, um, you already know— Nancy... r-right,” she stammers at Steve’s pointed glare, “so, um. Anyway!”

She grabs him by the shoulders; shoves him front and center like he’s a really cool new toy she brought to class for show-and-tell. “Everyone, this is Steve! Steve, this is—”

“You don’t have to say it again.”

“Oh, thank god.” She slides into the booth with a relieved huff, and Steve scoots in after her.

Despite the awkward tension and that bonkers introduction, everyone at the table does their best to act cool, to say hello and make him feel welcome while they wait for the band to start. Grant slides him the basket of fries, and Jordan compliments his watch, and Vickie asks if he’s coming to the last football game of the season, voice high and shy as she rambles about how ‘Robin’s solo in the halftime show is sooo good, you really should come see it!’ and wow.

Is Robin vain or something? She’s got a crush on a clone of herself.

Steve munches on fries and keeps an eye on the stage, hoping to catch Eddie before the show starts, and the whole thing’s… not so bad, actually. Kind of decent. Almost nice, until Fred fucking Benson ruins it. Steve’s saying something about the basketball team’s chances this season when the little asshole rolls his eyes and leans in to stage-whisper to Nancy loud enough for the whole table to hear, “The Hair? Seriously? What’s he even doing here?”

...Yeah, fuck this. “He’s getting a drink,” Steve says and storms off to the bar.

—

He’s not getting that drink.

Turns out a tenner isn’t a big enough bribe to get a bartender to break the law, so Steve nurses a diet Coke that he pretends is a lager and refuses to even look in the direction of the booth. Fucking Fred. What an asshole.

And what a stupid name, too, like— who looks at a baby and thinks, yep, looks like a Fred to me? Ugh.

Robin, bless her, has the good sense to leave him alone for a couple minute until he cools off, but then the music starts and she comes over to shout ‘stop moping and dance with me!’ and that’s the end of that.

—

The band is fucking awesome.

Steve doesn't know what he expected, but it wasn't this: high energy, tight rhythms, a driving beat that makes him want to dance. The bass reverberates through the floor, up his shins and through his chest, and for a second it almost feels like he has his hearing back, like his whole body is a wall of noise, filled with the wail of Eddie’s guitar, the scratchy rasp of his singing voice, and Eddie's…

Eddie’s amazing. Lightning in a bottle as he bounces around the stage, hips moving to the rhythm, fingers blurring over the frets. He looks so fucking hot. Denim vest, silver rings, jeans showing a delicious amount of skin — skin Steve has put his mouth on; tattoos he’s tasted with his tongue.

God, he can’t wait to kiss him. Is probably going to combust if it doesn’t happen tonight. Or like, come in his jeans, more realistically.

They dance and jump and shout along to the covers they recognize, and when Eddie dips backstage to let the band do an instrumental thing, Steve shakes the sweat out of his eyes and heads to the bar for a water.

—

"Mind if I join you?" Nancy asks.

Steve sighs. This is what he gets for wandering off alone. Robin's still by the stage, twirling Vickie around swing-style to a frantic, jazzy drum solo in a move that's actually pretty impressive even if it makes no sense with the music, and Steve resigns himself to his fate and nods at the empty stool beside him.

They sip their drinks in silence — awkward and charged, old hurts hanging between them like static waiting to strike. "Sorry about Fred," she says eventually. "And- and for me, too, I guess."

Steve huffs a laugh. Appreciates the sentiment, even if it doesn't change anything. "It's fine."

She glances over at him, that journalistic focus etched into her face. “How are you?” she asks softly.

Another laugh under his breath. He thinks about answering her honestly, just to entertain himself. Pictures the way her face would fall as he went on and on: "Oh, you know. My mom left me to go ‘rest' in Evanston, like I don’t know that means she went to rehab without saying a goddamn word, and when I called my aunt to yell at her about it, she said some ice cold shit about how I should be happy my mom left me, because now I can keep the money from the lot fees all to myself, and I said ‘what lot fees?’ and it turns out mom had been hiding, like, a lot of money from me while I stressed out about our budget for months. Oh! And also my dad’s dead, but you knew that already. And also I want to hump my neighbor against a brick wall so bad my dick is turning purple. How are you?"

"...Steve?" she tries after a moment.

“I’m good,” he settles on. Gives the bullshit answer because that's all they've ever been to each other, isn't it? Bullshit. "Yeah, I'm good," he tells her, "and you?"

"I'm fine." Her smile is tight, bags under her tired eyes, and then she sighs out long and slow, "Actually, I'm not. Everything's been..."

Steve tries to listen, but he just can't bring himself to care. Doesn't want to hear about whatever drama she's going through with the guy she dumped him for. And then Eddie comes back out on stage, and he's looking out into the crowd, and no fucking way is Steve letting him look over here and think he's cozied up with Nance. No fucking way. Nancy's ruined enough good things for him already.

"Sorry," he cuts her off, not feeling sorry at all as he stands up and walks off without looking back at her.

"Steve?" She calls after him. "Hey- wait!"

Steve makes his way to the front of the crowd.

“Howdy,” Eddie greets the room, stepping up to the mic with a Hollywood-worthy grin. His guitar’s strapped over his back, the neck pointing to the ground, and he looks so good up there. So comfortable and real.

And his outfit's different now. The denim vest is gone, and he's wearing a cut off tank top. The tank top; the one he wore that night, loose around the arms to expose his pretty, painted ribs. Steve looks up at him, transfixed. Like staring straight at the sun.

“How’s everybody doing?”

The group at the stage all whoop and cheer, and Eddie laughs delightedly; thanks them all for coming, thanks the tech and service crews. He introduces the band next, pointing each member out by name and letting them do a little solo, and then he swings his guitar over his shoulder and says, “We got one last song for you tonight!”

More cheering from the crowd. Eddie plants his feet and scans the room, a small, secret smile lighting up his gorgeous face when his eyes land on Steve. Just for a second before he looks away, but that smile stays firm, and Steve knows the next words are meant for him.

“Now, this isn’t our usual style, but uh… a little birdie told me someone here might need to hear this.”

Eddie strums his guitar. The opening notes of Go Your Own Way ring out, sped up and made grittier to fit the band's sound. Steve’s heart is in his throat.

“Good morning, sweetheart," Eddie beams as his bandmates join in, "this one’s for you.”

—

part 36

tag list in separate reblogs under '#trailer park steve au taglist' if you'd like to filter that content. if you want to be added tomorrow please comment and let me know (must be over 21; please either verify in the comment or have your age visible on your blog)

[aquareegia]

Transcript of Will Ramos' essay on Sleep Token for Rock Sound magazine

I might play in a metal band as part of my job, but I don't listen to much metal music anymore.

A few years ago though, I remember one of my friends saying to me, "Dude, you've got to check out this band Sleep Token… They're pretty cool".

I'd never heard the name before, but I'd listened to 'Hypnosis' and a couple of other songs from the band's second album, 'This Place Will Become Your Tomb', to see what they were like.

Hitting play for the first time, I was caught off guard. You hear the guitar and these slamming instrumentals and instantly you think, 'This is about to fucking kick ass'. You're so sure that the vocalist is about to come in with some gnarly screaming, but then you hear this man singing, and he's singing so beautifully. I didn't see it coming at all, and as soon as I heard it, I knew that it was exactly what I needed to hear.

At the start of a long drive that I had to make on my own, I hit play on 'This Place Will Become Your Tomb' from the beginning for the first time. As the record began with 'Atlantic', I was vibing to the sound of the music, but as it rolled through each track I started to get more and more caught up in this incredible sonic journey. By the time it was over, I realised that I'd been on this emotional roller coaster of love, pain, happiness, sadness and nostalgia.

Boom, that was it - I was hooked on that album. Every single song on that record was so freaking incredible to me, and I needed to know more about Sleep Token. Believing that my friend and I were the only people in on this hype, I spoke about it to my band one day, and they said to me, "You need to listen to 'Sundowning'!" I was so mad that they knew about this band the whole time, and nobody ever told me, but I went back and listened to Sleep Token's first album like they suggested.

I remember thinking it was very different. It's not as polished, but it's very dynamic and so beautiful. I think it definitely says something when you can see the progression of a band from just their first and second albums. From then, I knew they were onto something incredible.

It feels like more and more people have been catching onto that hype over the last year, and now it seems as though their name is impossible to ignore. I remember when they released 'The Summoning' at the start of 2023, the day after they'd released 'Chokehold', it felt like it all went crazy. They had something like 4-million hits on that song in just two days, and now, it's got over 70-million plays on Spotify. It was the beginning of a huge explosion for Sleep Token, and the first time I heard it, I was genuinely confused by it. It's so ridiculously versatile, and on my first few listens I felt like the super jazzy outro didn't fit at all, but the more I listened the more it began to click. I remember at the time I showed it to Elizabeth Zharoff, a vocal coach from The Charismatic Voice, and the outro was immediately one of her favourite parts.

She's from a completely other world of music, so to hear her approval showed me how capable Sleep Token were of reaching people outside of the metal scene.

I might not listen to metal music anymore, but Sleep Token are revitalising heavy metal. It brings back the nostalgia that I felt when I was a little kid listening to this type of music for the first time and being like, 'Holy shit, what is this? This is so cool'. I had started to lose that feeling over the years, but every time I listen to these songs, all those emotions come flooding back. In my opinion, there's no band out there that sounds like them - and that's a truly impressive feat.

Merging metal with pop, R&B, and rap influences, and bridging all these different gaps that many artists have historically been afraid to explore, there's something here for so many types of music fans. For a long time, metal bands have been putting themselves in a box. There's been this idea that a metal band needs to be heavy, that you need to have a breakdown in every song, and that you need to tick all the boxes in order to succeed. It's been so refreshing to see the evolution of the genre over the last few years, and to see bands like Sleep Token bring all these different sounds to the forefront of metal.

It brings a whole bunch of unique people into the fold. People love to say that metal is dying, but it's music like this that keeps it alive. It doesn't just move the scene forward, it expands it.

Now, there are all these people who didn't listen to metal before listening to Sleep Token. R&B and pop fans are coming into this as fans of Vessel's singing voice and hearing all these metal influences along the way. The second verse of 'Take Me Back To Eden' has this great rap-inspired singing part, and it's these little things that speak to different people in different ways. All of this feeds into our community in some crazy way, shape, or form. It's welcoming people into a genre that they may never have been exposed to otherwise, and I think that s a beautiful thing.

As a vocalist, one thing in particular that draws me to Sleep Token is Vessel's voice. I have always been a screamer, but I've always wanted to be a singer at the same time. I always practise on the side of Lorna Shore, but in my mind I'm like, 'This isn't very good. My voice is not fit for metal at all, as far as singing goes'. When I first heard Sleep Token though, one of the first things I noticed was that Vessel and I have a very similar range. Hearing him lay down all of these incredible parts, it makes me realise that I can actually sing metal vocals.

Back when I first discovered them, I wanted to cover their songs in the hopes that more people would hear them. Now, I just want to cover them so that I can sing something that is in my range.

Obviously though, his voice is much more dynamic than mine because he's been polishing it for a very long time. He does a crazy vibrato and can switch between his head voice and chest voice super easily. It's crazy stuff, and as someone who has been a vocalist for so long, I can appreciate the techniques he's using. I love to hear the different ways he's able to blend his voice into the genre.

Another thing that makes his voice so unique is that it's so emotional. When I hear Vessel sing, I can truly feel the emotion behind his words. He might be this otherworldly figure singing about an ancient deity, but there's a distinct humanity to his vocals. You can sense his sadness and pain, and whether people realise it or not that draws a lot of people to Sleep Token's music. They're the band that you can listen to at two o'clock in the morning when you're driving down the road alone. They're the perfect companion for those moments where you're upset about something, and you just need to listen to something that feels like a release.

That's a beautiful thing, because when you write music, you want people to feel the same emotions that you're feeling when you're writing it. The way that Vessel translates all of that is so incredible, and it's arguably my favourite thing about the band. Between his vocals and the instrumentation behind them, you feel exactly what they want you to feel. Even before thinking about what I knew about Sleep Token, when we were thinking about what we wanted to do with Lorna Shore, that was the goal. We wanted to bring a little bit more emotion into heavy metal music, and now they've done that and brought the singing into it too. Metal's now even more emotional because of the way he uses his beautiful voice, and I think that's what this genre has needed for a long time.

The truth is, from the moment I first heard Sleep Token, I knew they were one of those bands. Between their studio quality, their musical skill, and their ability to conjure up their own lore to incorporate into the music, I could see that they had the potential to be something truly special, they just needed that little push.

As soon as they got that with 'The Summoning', that was it - they were taking over.

First impressions are a big thing, and I think 'This Place Will Become Your Tomb' will always be my favourite album because of the way I first connected with it, but 'Take Me Back To Eden' is phenomenal. They have been able to get all of their emotion out in so many new ways on those songs because there's even more happening from a musical perspective. They've managed to strike the balance between heaviness and beauty perfectly and that's what we strive to create with albums. The goal is to create an album you can sit with, front to back, and feel the waves of emotion. A record to let yourself feel those things, and an opportunity to sit in isolation whilst you experience that journey.

It's a feeling that's amplified within Sleep Token's live shows, and I was able to catch them at Blue Ridge Rock Festival in Virginia. Lorna Shore were also playing, and we had a meet and greet scheduled for that day. It was scheduled to take place from 7pm until 7:30pm, and Sleep Token's set started at 7:30pm. I was a little antsy, because I know that meet and greets always overrun by half an hour or so, and they were the band I was most desperate to catch.

I was sitting there, it was 7:29pm, and the meet and greet line was still as long as it had been when we'd started. I started to hear 'Chokehold' playing in the distance, and I felt so sad.

People online were messaging me to tell me that Sleep Token were playing, and I was like, 'I know! I can hear them, but I'm stuck here!'

That's where it started to set in how freaking massive Sleep Token were becoming. They're one of the biggest metal bands that I'm aware of right now, and there were so many people watching that set. They refer to their live shows as rituals, their fans are the congregation, and the stage as a place of worship. It's something that could easily seem tacky if a band did it with little consideration for the details, but they're so committed to what they do.

After about three minutes, as I heard 'Chokehold' coming to an end, I stood up and said, 'Alright everybody, I've got to go. I'm so sorry, but if you know me, you'll understand'. The people who come to our meet and greets know how much I love Sleep Token, so they were like, 'Dude, go!' I sprinted out of there, leaving the rest of the band still doing the meet and greet, and made my way over to the stage. I thought I was the only one who wanted to see their set, but ten seconds into running I turned around and saw Of Mice & Men's singer, Aaron Pauley, following me. We started running through this huge crowd together, and everybody was so excited. I'm not the type of guy to leave a meet and greet early, but I needed to witness that set. It was an act of true love!

Even when they post on Instagram after shows, the captions are always like, 'The ritual has been completed in Copenhagen'. They totally absorb themselves in the spiritual aspect, physically, visually, and sonically. It's a brand, and they completely own that brand. They've made it exactly what it is, and they stick to it.

When I saw them, they had four people onstage doing harmonies with them, and they just stood there in their cloaks.

They didn't move throughout the entire set, and I began to picture it as a church choir at the side of the ritual. The whole experience does feel super spiritual, and they don't just give 50 per cent to the theming, it's 100 per cent. People feel the emotion, see the way they embody this ideal, and hear this incredible music - and I think that's why people are so ready to absolve themselves in this spiritual moment.

Everybody has a different connection to every song because of the different things everyone goes through in life, but they get to experience all of that in a place where everybody else is feeling something too.

Vessel's vocals translate into their live experience so perfectly, too. His screams are even better live than they are in the studio, and he still sings beautifully, which is so impressive. I was genuinely doubtful that he was going to be able to hit all of those vibratos and do all the other crazy vocal work he does on the albums, but he hit every note. Sometimes, he doesn't even hit the notes that he does on the studio versions, but he hits another note that is equally as stunning. He's a true performer.

You can tell a lot about a band from their live performance, but as a band in the modern age you also have to put a lot of thought into your promotion. The way you come across on social media is important, and the way that people perceive you is largely down to how you come across online. That's why I've always been fascinated by Sleep Token choosing to keep the identities of their band members a secret, refusing to do interviews and placing the focus on their visual identity.

I definitely think that's played a part in their success, because it's allowed the music to take centre stage. I remember when I was first talking to the rest of Lorna Shore about Sleep Token, they told me about the lore behind the band and that the members are all anonymous. That was before 'The Summoning' came out, but since people have caught on there have been some serious investigative deep dives, so l'm pretty sure the internet has found out who Vessel is.

I didn't look that up though, because personally for me, I always really appreciated the fact that they were totally anonymous. I like the feeling that Vessel is just a voice in the ether. You can hear it, but you can't classify it as being the voice of any one person, it's just this intriguing mystery. I've heard a lot of people say that it reminds them of when they first got into Slipknot because when a lot of people I know first listened to that band, nobody knew who was behind the masks. They were just a bunch of dudes making music with no outside perceptions, but then obviously people found out. I think that Sleep Token have that similar allure for a whole new generation, but sadly for me that mystery was shattered when I met them after a show.

It was great to meet them, but I also really didn't want to know who they were. I loved not knowing and I think that the anonymous aspect of what they do plays such an important role in the impact they're having on the heavy metal world.

It's a bit of a double-edged sword because everyone wants to know their identities, but once you do know - you miss the anonymity.

There's something special about the way they're putting their music out into the world with no need for individual validation, and I think it takes a lot of guts and confidence in what you're creating to do what Sleep Token are doing.

Usually, you almost want everyone to know who's in the band, because often that helps push you forwards. If you have someone in your line-up who's been in a well-known band before, you want to use that name to get yourselves out into the scene more. Sleep Token aren't anybody, and that takes a lot of courage and humbleness to do. There's no predisposed idea of what their music is supposed to be or what it's going to be, and that's part of the magic.

It's something that also comes out in the lore, the symbolism, and the cryptic clues that Sleep Token scatter throughout everything they do. There are Reddit threads dissecting every single word in the songs and analysing each pixel within their visuals, but it's not something I've had the chance to fall into just yet.

When I first listened to 'This Place Will Become Your Tomb', I could only find one or two articles about Sleep Token online.

They were basic articles explaining the idea of the band and what they were trying to do, which I thought were cool, but I never really looked it up again.

Over the last year or so, it seems that these conversations have spiralled. People are coming up with these different ideas about the band's story, and there are all these hints appearing constantly. I don't know any of the Easter eggs yet. I'm still just fascinated by the music and their wicked aesthetics, but I love that they've got people talking. It's become this kind of community around the band, and as someone who grew up in this scene, seeing artists who are able to foster that feeling amongst fellow music fans is such an incredible thing.

I think that's one of the reasons why Sleep Token have been able to find success on such a wide level so quickly, because there's a constant conversation about them. If people aren't talking about their music, they're talking about the lore and the stories behind it, or they're talking about the potential identities of the band members. They have this perfect package in place that lends itself to a world class metal band, but they're achieving it at such an incredible speed.

They thought out every single element of this band before they even started, from how the melodies work with the vocals, to the emotion and the quality of the sound. A lot of people put out music that sounds like they're hitting a trash can, and whilst they might have really good singing over the top of it, you can't ignore that trash can. Sleep Token have got incredible production value though, which is even more impressive when you consider how versatile their sound is.

It's so well thought out that you hear new things in each song on every listen. If you listen to 'Take Me Back To Eden', the title track of their third album, there's an allusion to a particular part of 'Chokehold', and it's details like that which make their production so unique. They wanted to make sure that it came out perfect, and maybe - like all musicians I know - they think they could have made certain parts of it better in retrospect, but I honestly can't imagine how.

Between the versatility, the emotion that people feel when they listen to it, the heaviness, the quality, and the songwriting, Sleep Token don't cut any corners anywhere. That's why they're already playing these huge, career defining shows, and putting out music that's changing people's perception of heavy music as a whole. It's so exciting to be a Sleep Token fan, and I just want them to write even more mind-blowing music and play even bigger places because they truly deserve it.

The bigger the places that they play, the better they're going to sound live. They're already playing arenas over in the UK, and with the size of those venues I just know they're going to sound absolutely incredible. They're reaching heights much higher than most metal bands that I know, and the bigger they get, the better their production value is going to be all round.

'Take Me Back To Eden' only came out earlier this year, but I already can't wait to hear them put out more music. lf what we heard on album three is the direction that they're going in, I'm very optimistic to see what the future holds for Sleep Token. I imagine at one point, they're going to make it on the radio - and honestly it could happen sooner rather than later. I knew it when I first heard them, and I'm even more certain of it now - they're going to be huge.

[fairyhaos]

seventeen as seventeen songs

requested by @nishloves

notes: honestly this was hard to do 😭 i kept thinking about songs that are most iconic for that member rather than which song they fit, but hopefully it's still somewhat accurate <3

[the spotify playlist with these songs in too]

masterlist

seungcheol

clap. if there's any song that screams "i'm the leader of seventeen and we're better than any of your lazy asses", then it's clap. it's also such an iconic song, and the hypeness and brightness and the coolness and suaveness it radiates all at once is very very seungcheol, if you ask me. it also doesn't hurt that he looked so so good with his silver hair in the mv.

jeonghan

snap shoot. okay, this one sounds really unusual, but hear me out. snap shoot gives encore song vibes, goodbye song but not quite goodbye, "today was fun and i hope to see you soon" vibes. it's like standing back and watching everyone have fun because of something that you did. it's being happy n having fun by seeing that you made others have fun. and that's jeonghan.

joshua

falling for u. it's such a delicate song, all polite and sweet and delicate and therefore it's just very very much joshua. the youthful, almost playful edge to the melody reminds me of him, along with the kind of naive, "you're so pretty so i fell in love" kind of loving that the song feels like makes me think of josh. also a bonus that he has tons of lines in this song, since it's just a duet w him and jeonghan haha

junhui

my my. the hope!! the sweetness!! the little funky music in the intro that adorably reminds me of junhui's voice!! it's all just so him. the way this song just encapsulates feelings of youth and life and being forever young and forever going towards your dreams... that never-failing optimism is so junhui it almost hurts

hoshi

hit. if you don't think the constant "woah woah woah woah woah"s and "let me drop the 음악" aren't the most hoshi things ever then idk what you're on, man. it's hype, it's powerful, it's "im better than you and even you know it" and so cocky but also so True that you can't even refute it. it's about always doing better, always going further, and that's just so hoshi.

wonwoo

lean on me. jazzy, chill, dependable vibes are a very very wonwoo thing, actually, and that's what this entire song is about. it's laid back, and yet loving at the same time, caring and comfortable and ready to be by your side. it feels like a song you'd listen to while on a walk with him at night, his camera up to his eyes, his hand wrapped around yours.

woozi

247. it's romantic, but also a little wistful at the same time? elegant, yet nostalgic, thoughtful and sweet and like dancing across a glass lake. it's what woozi feels like, with his intelligence and how delicately he feels things. to be honest, a lot of the ballad-style, romantic earlier songs of svt fit him rlly well, but 247 even more so

minghao

hit song. it's a smooth feeling song, like running a cloth over a black marble countertop. honestly, finding a minghao vibe song is really hard for me, but some of their gentler songs seem to fit him, full of devoted, almost shy love that feels very minghao to me. that devotion, that softness and yet the determination also present feels like him

mingyu

boomboom. purely based on the vibes of the song tbh, and the prominent drums and chromaticism of the melody feel like mingyu, along with the brass accents and the confidence and coolness is just all so very very there that it makes me think of mingyu practically almost instantly.

dokyeom

kidult. not only because his vocals in this song are both iconic and utterly incredible, but even its message is very dokyeom. it encapsulates his innate urge to help people, to heal people, to make sure they smile and that they know they're loved. it's a precious song, and a song about letting others know they're precious, and has me crying and smiling, just like dokyeom does.

seungkwan

'bout you. it's a devastatingly romantic song, like a simple, easy love. it's like the type of love with zero complications, just full of two people laughing and running through fields hand in hand and hearts full of love for one another. the entire song feels so fresh, almost citrusy, and never ever fails to bring a smile to my face. just like seungkwan, actually.

vernon

crush. im gonna be real with u i have no idea how to explain this one but yeah. crush gives me vernon vibes and idk, maybe it's the funky vibes of the song with its mild chromaticism that give me a vernon feeling, but yeah. vernon is crush. (maybe it's because that's what i have on him-)

chan

domino. it's a light song, like floating but not quite. almost as if bouncing on your feet in midair, leaping across clouds which just gives me chan vibes. it also gives me movie ending credits song vibes after a bright, high school-set rom com learning-to-grow kind of movie which is very very chan in my opinion

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[llamagoddessofficial]

Thank you @thats-one-cool-dude for this commission, inspired by itsxroxannex's amazing art. Nothing quite like Nightmare himself <3

---

... You were in a dream.

The realisation hit you, the moment you became aware of yourself and your surroundings. Ironically, it felt like you had just ‘woken up’- snapping back to reality. But you couldn’t have been more conscious of the fact that this reality wasn’t yours.

You still felt like you were dreaming. Partly. It was hard to think, there was still that signature disconnect between your head and your body. And yet... you could feel things you didn’t normally feel in a dream, sensations that were usually either muted or entirely gone. Was this what lucid dreaming felt like? You'd never been able to do that before. You’d never woken up, and immediately known with every fibre of your being that you weren’t really ‘awake’.

... You looked up. There was a small table before you, draped in a spotless white cloth, and decorated by a single lit candle. Very gentle piano drifted through the air, jazzy and slow, like you were in the middle of a nice restaurant... two chairs pulled up on either side of the table.

... Someone occupied one of the chairs.

He was a skeleton. A tall skeleton, his bones were slick and dark, bluish black as a midnight sky, with the faintest iridescent sheen like the shimmer on a bubble or an oil spill. He looked as if he were made of tar. A clean smile of ice white teeth... one eye, a powerful, electric cyan blue, the other socket covered by that same tar-ish substance.

... He was wearing a suit. You didn’t expect that. A nice suit, it outlined him well, it made him look well-proportioned and tidy. Somehow, the liquid of his body didn’t stain the white cuffs or collar. Dream logic? You had no clue.

Were this any other situation, you probably wouldn’t have reacted as... calmly. But because you were in asleep, your mind felt far more forgiving of the bizarreness of the situation. Sure, a skeleton with inky bones and one glowing eye was waiting for you at a table set up like a date. Why not? You'd had weirder dreams.

That, and...

... Well, his face looked so... gentle. He simply stared at you, with a low smile, like you were the prettiest thing he’d ever seen. The candlelight flickered against him... he had a nice face. Strong curved cheekbones, a pretty defined jaw. His skull was handsome in a regal, timeless sort of way.

Your cheeks felt hot.

“ah. finally.” His voice was silky, low, and dark. Very pleasant to listen to, and exactly the kind of voice you expected to hear from a creature that looked like him. “i thought you’d never sleep.” 

... You looked down at yourself. You were dressed for a date- an outfit you definitely didn’t normally wear. 

“... come on, now. don’t be shy. i’ve been waiting for you.” He said, sweetly, patiently. “come sit with me.”

...

Well. It was just a dream, right? So you had nothing to lose. You shuffled over to the table, sitting down opposite him. His grin lifted, the flickering candle played with the shadows on his face... the gentle piano continued.

“i’m sans.” He shifted his elbows onto the table. The black parts of his suit, although it was clearly fabric, very faintly had the same iridescent sheen as his bones. “don’t worry, i already know your name.”

“... You do?” You asked. Was that something you needed to worry about?

He chuckled. The sound was handsome. “of course. it’s only a dream, right?”

“... Oh. Yes, right.”

Remembering that this was a lucid dream gave you a strange sense of... confidence. It made your chest puff up a little, it brought your hands out of their curled position on your lap, the anxieties you usually always carried finally melting off. Warm confidence flooded your system- he was right. You didn’t have to be embarrassed, or scared, did you? This was your dream, wasn’t it? You could do whatever you liked. Man, lucid dreaming was great.

‘Sans’ gained a slight twinkle to his beautiful blue eye. He kept looking at you like you were everything- it was making you feel warm. Important.

“i know it’s a boring question. but do tell; how was your day?”

“... Slow.” You replied. He had such a nice face. This was a nice dream. “Very slow.”

A knowing look. “sometimes a slow day is better than a frantic one.”

... You let out a little laugh. He leaned a fraction closer to you. “Yeah, I guess. I’d take a slow day over the kinds of days I normally get.”

“what would a normal day be, for you?”

“Like you said. Frantic.” He had instantly put you at ease. His dulcet tones, his impeccable sense of dress, his gentle aura... despite the fact that you were having a conversation with a skeleton, it felt like you were talking to an old friend. “I work a lot. Then on my few days off, it feels like I’m so exhausted I have no energy to spend on anything other than recovery. It sucks.”

“i think you aren’t alone in feeling like that. today is far too fast-paced.”

There was suddenly a wine glass in front of him. And in front of you, too. An expensive-looking bottle beside the candle, in the middle of the table- Sans picked up the bottle, offering it to you.

“shall i pour you something?” He asked, invitingly.

... You paused. “I... don’t really know if I should...”

“come on now.” He purred. “it’s a dream, right? you won’t have a hangover. when will there ever be a better time to have something to drink?”

“... Pft.” You felt... kinda silly for saying no. “Oh, alright then. I guess you’re right.”

Sans grinned. He poured you a generous serving, the liquid was a beautiful tyrian purple, and once he stopped pouring the candlelight in the wine made it appear as if your entire glass was filled with ruby. He filled up his own glass as well. It was good wine, too, it was exactly to your taste.

“... What is this, by the way?”

“... wine?”

“No, this.” You gestured around. “Are we on a date right now?”

“of course.” He placed his glass down and chuckled. Sans had such a warm gaze, despite the cold blue colour of his eye. It almost looked... adoring? He hadn’t stopped staring at you since the moment you woke up in this dream.

“Why?”

“because you’re wonderful.” He knitted his fingers together, using them as a cradle for his head. The ends of his phalanges looked sharp. “and i think you deserve a good date. none of those terrible, thoughtless outings you’ve been on recently.”

“How do you know I’ve been on dates?” You asked, but teasingly, drinking a bit more. Of course he knew, this was your dream. His eye flickered to your lips as they touched the rim of the glass, but they returned to your own eyes so fast you couldn’t tell if you really saw the movement at all.

“those fools don’t know what they’re doing. who tries to take someone back to their parents’ house on a first date?” He looked like he still couldn’t believe it. “despicable.”

You snickered at that one. Who wouldn’t?

“They weren’t so bad.” You said, softly. “Rough around the edges, sure. But they meant well.”

He leaned a little closer again. Every time you laughed, he seemed unable to stop himself from drawing nearer. The space was getting more and more intimate.

“you’ll realise how terrible they were when i show you how good dates can be.”

“I’m sorry, but...” You traced the rim of your glass. “am I going to get any more context on who you are? Or are you just too mysterious?”

“i’m nobody important.” He said, reaching the wine bottle across the table again and refilling said glass. “i haven’t any ulterior motives, dear, if that’s what you’re afraid of. i just want to get to know you.”

... You liked the way he said ‘dear’. It made you feel warm again. You swirled the wine around the glass, admiring the strange colour- huh, funny. Even though this was a dream, you could still feel that familiar sensation of being tipsy.

“... This is nice.”

“yes.” He murmured, gazing at you through a lidded socket. “it is.”

“I don’t really want to wake up.”

His eyelight flashed.

“... now. don’t go saying things like that, dear. someone might think you’re serious.”

///---///

You woke up with a lovely, soft, cosy feeling. Right down to your core. Far from your usual stuffy, too hot/too cold awakenings, the bed felt like a pair of arms around you- a comfortable pair of arms that made the thought of just closing your eyes and slipping back to sleep again all the more appealing.

...

You rolled onto your back, staring at the ceiling. Morning light was seeping through the curtains; as nice as it sounded, you couldn’t really go back to sleep right now. The day was starting.

... You could almost still taste the wine. You almost felt like its fuzzy warming effect was still thrumming through your body. And, in your mind’s eye, you could still see him- looking at you, smiling, like you were the prettiest thing he’d ever seen.

“i just want to get to know you.”

...

... Sans, huh?

///---///

“hello again, dear.”

The same feelings of ‘waking up’. The same knowledge you were dreaming. And, when you opened your eyes... the same skeleton in front of you.

No suit, this time. Just normal clothes, all toned as black as his bones, sharing his faint iridescence.

... This dream wasn't set at a table. It was on a sunny street corner, in a musical-looking city, bright blue sky and quaint cafes surrounding you, bicycles and colourful pedestrians and trees on every inch of available pavement. People busied past both of you, like you weren’t even there- like there was nothing strange about a large, ink-black skeleton holding the hand of a bewildered human.

... Holding your hand. You blinked, looking down... his midnight claws were entwined with your fingers.

You looked back up at his face. “Sans?”

He grinned, evidently delighted you recalled his name. There was so much you didn’t know, in his eye, so much he understood but you didn’t.

“surprised to see me? i said you i’d take you on more dates, didn’t i?”

Yes. You were very surprised. It took you a few moments to gather the words, mouth opening and closing again, dumbly.

“... I-I just... it was a dream.” You couldn’t tear your eyes away from him. “My dreams don’t normally...”

“repeat?” He squeezed your hand gently, brushing his thumb over the back of your palm. “perhaps they do. perhaps they just weren’t worth remembering before now.”

You flushed at the casual touch. “I didn’t expect to see you again.”

“well." He tilted his skull. "are you the good kind of surprised, dear?”

Again, yes. But you didn’t seem to need to say it, judging by the delighted softness his smile took on.

“... Where are we?”

“you're so cute. paris.” He replied, amiably. “i took the liberty of finding the nicest looking side. it’s a charming city, certainly... but not all of it is this pretty.”

“... I never thought I’d...”

“... be able to go?” His voice was a disarming, lulling purr. “i told you. i want to take you on real dates. we can go anywhere you want- anywhere at all. time and distance are no issue.”

“Why?”

“i said so before. i just want to get to know you.”

... You looked around. At the beautiful streets. You could hear people talking, smell baked goods and coffee. It was so romantic... so unlike anywhere you’d ever been.

...

“Could... we go somewhere high up, when the sun goes down?” You asked. “To see the lights?”

... A small laugh left his chest. Like your question had an incredibly obvious answer.

“... of course we can.”

///---///

Sans, whoever he was... he was quickly becoming a staple of your life. 

He kept his promise. He took you on dates. Wonderful ones, hopelessly romantic ones- strolls through starlit woods, picnics on hills overlooking the ocean, scenic boat rides through canals and rivers alike, city tours that felt so impossibly vivid and real despite the fact that your feet never ached. Various delightful places across the world you were certain you’d never be able to visit in your own reality. 

... Sans was charming. Charming in a sophisticated, cultured way, he had that lifted air to him that made you feel so important when he seemed to so much enjoy listening to what you were saying. He spoke sweetly, he was effortlessly funny, he knew precisely how to make you unwind. He already knew more about you than most people in your life.

Though you still knew nothing about him.

You’d never been so well-slept. Your dreams were starting to become your favourite place. Why wouldn’t they? Nobody in the waking world treated you so kindly. There was nowhere else where you felt so consistently cared for, listened to. If you ate together, you would wake up not hungry anymore. If you drank, you would feel the faint buzz even after your eyes opened. 

... And you always felt warm.

...

You hadn’t researched Sans until now. There was just... something that felt prying about it? You had no reason to think that way. Today was the day you were going to try and find out something about your nightly visitor.

... It was worth researching. Dreams that recurred that often probably had meaning, right? 

A few google searches wouldn’t hurt.

///---///

You saw him again the next night. Because of course you did.

... It was a much simpler setting than usual. Sans usually took you to places that would take your breath away... here, it was just a park bench in a flower garden. 

“morning.” He said, with a teasing lilt to his voice. “how was your day?”

You sat down beside him. Your heart was starting to beat faster. “... Could I talk to you about something?”

He paused. Only for a moment. It seemed like... he could sense your apprehension.

“... oh. of course.”

“I... did some research today.”

A flicker of something in his face. He covered it quickly. “the fun kind of research?”

“Research about dreams. And nightmares.” You fiddled with your hands, looking anywhere but him. “It took some digging. But I found something eventually. Old legends, really old, about a being that can enter people’s minds while they sleep and influence what they dream about. A skeleton with black bones.”

...

“... interesting.”

“... A lot of stuff was different. Like... tentacles, ‘evil’ energy, making people have night terrors so bad they’d give themselves insomnia to avoid sleeping. But, I mean... a skeleton with black bones that enters people’s minds while they sleep?”

... Sans had gone quiet. You glanced at him.

“Are you... uh... are you ‘Nightmare’?” 

...

As you held his blue eye, a strange sensation fell over you. 

It was like... you had come home, and a door you were certain you left closed was wide open. The feeling of staring into a room and knowing, just knowing, there was someone in there that shouldn’t be there. 

An interloper. 

His face... suddenly didn’t look quite as inviting.

...

Had he always been that big?

...

“i see.” He said, softly.

...

Then you were awake. Staring blankly at your ceiling.

You didn’t feel warm. Not at all.

///---///

It was a normal dream, at first. A busy room full of people you didn’t recognise, a nonsensical list of reasons you had to be there that only made sense because your higher thought functions were locked away. Your head felt as though it were stuffed full of sand, and you had little care in the world aside from the base anxieties your brain was projecting onto the scene before you. A test, a missed train, you couldn't even recall.

A normal dream.

...

Something in the corner of your eye flickered. A shadow, moving the wrong way.

...

Just like that, you were aware.

The hair on the back of your neck prickled, the faces around you blurred and unfocused. You felt... singled out. Alone. A real person, in a room full of mannequins.

... You could tell he was there. You'd had enough dreams with him to know when he was nearby. But you couldn't see him- you turned around, only the rest of your dream behind you. But you could feel it... he was in there with you.

"... Sans?" You said.

... Nothing.

Your voice wobbled. “Are you... are you there?”

Silence.

...

“Nightmare?”

“no.” He said, softly, right in your ear. You jumped- it sounded as if he was standing behind you. “do not call me that.”

You didn’t turn around. Something told you there was a reason he was remaining out of view. “... Why did you disappear?”

He hissed. “i never wanted it to be like this.”

“Like... this?”

“it should’ve stayed a dream. it was never meant to be real.”

...

Your gaze dropped to the floor. The carpet, a product of your sleeping mind, repeated itself over and over.

... You suddenly felt... stupid. For a lot of reasons- but mostly for letting yourself feel hurt by that. 

What did you think was going to happen, getting so attached to a random guy in your dreams that did little more than take you on a few pretty looking dates and say a few sweet words? All he had to do was feign interest in what you said, and you were like a fish on a hook. Idiot.

You wanted to wake up.

...

Hands pressed against your shoulders.

“ ... that’s not what i meant.” His voice was a lot softer, suddenly. Softer than you'd ever heard it before- softer, even than your 'first date'.

It was your turn to not respond.

“dear.” It felt like he wanted you to turn around, now. You didn’t. “i promise that’s not what i meant.”

When you spoke, your voice was sullen. This was the end of your nice dreams, wasn't it? “... What else could you possibly mean by that?”

He didn’t let go of your shoulders. “i... it was...”

... Him needing a moment to speak... it didn't exactly cheer you up, but it made you return to the moment a little. It made you listen. You were so used to him knowing exactly what to say at any given moment, silken words coming so easily- the fact that he needed time to gather his thoughts made what he was about to say seem a bit more genuine.

“... the waking world is so complicated.” He finally said. “dreams... are the escape. i didn’t want this to be complicated.”

...

“... Complicated.” Your tone had significantly eased. He wasn’t wrong. Things had definitely become more complicated, as soon as you brought the real world in. 

“i wanted to see you.” His hands moved, from your shoulders to your torso. “i wanted to know you, but i didn’t... want you to have to think. i just wanted to be a dream, for you, someone you could escape to. i wanted to be a good dream for once.”

You didn’t reply. He was convincing. But you didn’t even know if you believed him.

“... don’t wake up.” He murmured. You felt his face press to the back of your head... his arms tucked around your middle.

“I don’t know if I can trust you.” You said. “I don’t know anything about you.”

“i didn’t want you to be afraid of me.”

“Should I be?”

“no.” Instantly, breathlessly. Like he couldn’t believe you asked that. “no, of course not.”

...

You sighed. 

“What’re you willing to tell me?”

“whatever you ask.” 

... It was an interesting way of wording it. You didn’t miss the specificity- whatever you asked him, he would answer. But volunteering information seemed beyond him for now.

“we should go somewhere. to talk.” He offered. “where do you want to go?”

You paused.

...

“Well. How about... somewhere you want to go, this time?”

[secretagentsociety]

Huge yandere X extremely concerningly chill reader pt2

We all know the drill eng isn't my first language,I didn't proof read yada yada and this is again just self indugent

more about huge yandere!

•first thing first the world you're in Because no!people no no this fic is not taking place in our normal modern world that would be boring.to write,anyway this world is a fantasy world called gaia,it have worrior,villains,heroes,fairy,god goddesses,elf,goblins and even the legendary m.i.l.f. and d.i.l.f so there's that.

In my defense who doesn't know a fantasy magic based world amirite? Alr we done? We cool with this? Moving on!!

• so whats like his deal?,like what's his backstory?Well you're in luck!bcuz I have just the thing!firstly he hails from a humble beginning-

Nah he's the hero of this world,yes you heard it right the righteous hero,summoned isekaid typical op mc but he's just built naturally tall and naturally scary so ppl thought of him as a devil and basically discredit his hero Status, The mages then proceed to summon another hero a more traditional looking one yk?suave,cool,has way with words and prolly have a whole harem?yes that replaced our beloved yandere

oh but it's fine!he doesn't rlly see the point of a harem,in his eyes there can only be one person he shall devote his life into And that is you!:D his beautiful dearest darling (yes even if you're a dude you'd still be beautiful to him)(no exceptions)

• now that his backstory is over let's get to know him really His name is Tresh (real name unknown)(goes by Tresh cuz yes)

his height?that depends how tall are you?now take that and add about...hmmm....alot more than that and bam!you have his height!(How many is alot more is unspecified,go ham make him a giant for all we care :P)

His appearance typical scary mobster but still kinda cute kinda hot ya feel me?,like wouldn't be the first guy you laid your eyes on but wouldn't be the dude you forget instantly

his hair is basically just black with little white strand to it His eye colour plain brown just normal brown that looked like black nothin special but it's cute yk?I love brown eyes,they cool,they vibing

•his job? well he's basically a hero?villain?who knows not even me the author knows,but I could tell you this,since he is the original hero the world favours him GREATLY!

so don't even try to run cuz some of the most ridiculous sht will happen to you like for example tripping on a stick and bam! Right into his arm how you get there?idk.

and since he basically got the world's favor he's strong as fk remember? he's mc,typical op and yada yada all that jazzy plot armor,yes he had those even if he's 'replaced' the only thing the new hero can obtain is just the thing he never pursue After

which he felt lucky that he pursue you (he say pursue I say kidnapping,but yk what tomato potato) Before the new hero,cuz just the thought of you being eyed by that sleezy womaniser!perverted!douchebag! new hero made him angry to the point his mana spills out causing a not so good natural disaster

Oh well he's sure the new hero will fix it :D

• how jealous CAN he get Now I mentioned previously he's jealous as fk,now his jealousy doesn't show Infront of you,although if it did you prolly wouldn't even gaf,but behind you oh boy...

honestly had you not been aware of you surroundings?!

basically everyone avoided gazing at you for more than 5 seco-i mean 3-no?ok 2 seconds???- okay he gotta stop or everyone gonna have to use a blindfold just to keep the empire peaceful and away from his wrath

may or may not have had his loyal subordinates to trail after you,not to stalk you or anything (yes it's to stalk you) it's just to take records of what you're doing everyday (which is stalking) but it's not rlly stalking if it's for your safety (nope still stalking) he just loves you so much what if you got injured?!and he wasn't there?! Oh god the horror of paper cuts you could be in pain!!(cool motif still stalking)

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

Have to stop here bcuz it'll be too long,I shall continue later.

Pt1

[joshym]

Lilac Moon

Pairing: Josh Kiszka x f!Reader

Summary:

You’re a singer in a small, local band called Lilac Moon. You play rock and roll music with a bit of a bluesy, jazzy, r&b flair to it. You moved to Nashville with your best friend, Ivy, to pursue your dreams, leaving your families behind as they weren’t the most supportive of this endeavor.

Your band does well enough locally, even having a small group of die hard fans who love you, but you haven’t been able to go much beyond that.

You now have 2 self funded, indie label ep’s out, and currently working on your first album. However, lack of funds is making this venture quite difficult and it’s taking longer than you and the band would’ve liked. This means picking up gigs wherever and whenever the opportunity strikes. It’s mostly small, run down bars that you play, bars that are really only visited by the locals. This makes it a bit hard to get your music out there and the joy of playing has ceased due to lack of motivation.

One night, you and your band have a gig at a small, locally owned bar in East Nashville. To your surprise, all four members of your favorite band just so happen to be in the crowd.

After the show, you catch them talking with your manager.

What could this possibly mean? And why did Josh keep staring at you during the set?

Word Count: 5.4k+

Warnings: (18+ MINORS DNI) *most of these are eventual warnings, not specifically presented in this chapter. each chapter will have it’s own specific set of warnings* angst, mentions of cheating, alcohol abuse, fighting, arrests, drug use, sexual situations, lots of eventual SMUT.

a/n: hi, everyone! ☺️ this is an idea I’ve had stuck in my head for awhile now, and I’ve finally found the time to sit down and write it. I really hope you all enjoy this little brainchild of mine. don’t be afraid to let me know what you think!

much love, lis. 🤍

(let me know if you want to be added to the taglist🫶🏻)

 ♪°•°∞♬°•°♪°•°∞♬°•°♪ 

You decided to take a stroll through downtown Nashville by yourself this morning, clearing your head after a particularly stressful set with the band last night. Nothing worked right, from the sound system to the lighting, all the way to your tired and worn-out vocals. You had another set tonight at the same bar, and you were incredibly nervous. You needed to get some fresh air, clear your mind, and walking the streets of Nashville in the quiet of the early morning usually did the trick. 

You’re walking aimlessly, green tea with honey in hand, when you’re stopped abruptly by running into the back of someone. 

You nearly spill your tea all over the unsuspecting man you so rudely collided with. He turns around swiftly as you struggle to keep your balance. Upon turning to face you, you're left breathless. Is this….Josh? Josh Kiszka? From Greta Van Fleet? 

Greta Van Fleet is one of your favorite bands, one of your biggest inspirations. You’ve been in love with their music since the early days of From the Fires. You and your best friend followed them to countless gigs, even had a few priceless souvenirs such as some guitar picks from Jake and even a drumstick from Danny. 

You knew they lived in Nashville, but over the course of living here over the last few years, your paths somehow never crossed. You were busy, they were busy, it just never happened.

You’re completely still, stuck staring at this man whose music inspired you to chase after your dreams. 

He looks at you with a confused grin plastered to his face, and you knew then that you had to say something.

“Holy shit, I am so sorry. I totally wasn’t paying any attention. I didn’t spill this on you, did I?” 

You decided then that you wouldn’t let on that you knew who he was. You weren’t going to be that annoying fangirl that gawked at him and made him feel uncomfortable by proclaiming your love for him. So, you did your best to keep your cool, opting to just treat him like the human being he is.

“No, no not at all!” He huffed a laugh. It eased your nerves only slightly. “Just took me by surprise.”

You’re relieved that he’s so cool about it. He giggles more as he takes in your mortified expression. 

You stand there for a spell, wondering what to say, when suddenly a very loud laugh comes out of nowhere. You turn to your side to see Sammy, Josh’s little brother and the band's bassist and pianist. You then realize that he was most likely a witness to the whole thing.

“Ah, ignore my dimwitted brother. He’s high as shit at the moment.”

Sammy walks towards you both, holding two lattes that came from the small coffee shop around the corner.

You’re starting to question whether any of this is real. Josh and Sammy, here? With you? It simply can’t be.

“Here’s your oat milk latte, brother, sans dairy so your voice doesn’t turn to shit. Hey, thank you for almost sending my brother to another dimension, but you should try a little harder next time. Really get the job done.”

He pats your back as he’s praising your clumsy act, laughing as he envisions the scenario all over again. You laugh with him, but the embarrassment creeps back up on you and Josh notices.

“Sammy boy, get fucked. She barely nudged me. Besides, it would take a lot more than that to send me to oblivion. I’m quite sturdy on my feet, as you know.”

“Yeah, okay. Pretty sure you’ve been on your ass more than your feet in your lifetime.”

You all start laughing, and the boys are laughing quite loudly as you hold back a little to not embarrass yourself even more with your obnoxious, snorting laugh. 

You can’t help but notice Josh’s not-so-subtle glances at you as the two of you make eye contact multiple times. His eyes are so genuine, so sincere. You’re pretty sure you’d get lost in them if you gave yourself half the chance. 

There’s no way he’d ever be interested in me, right?

“Um, well, sorry again. I really need to pay better attention. I just zoned out completely, I guess.”

Josh giggles, making you blush.

“No seriously, it’s no big deal. What’s your name?”

“My name's y/n.”

“Well, y/n, this is my much younger, far more immature brother Sammy, and I’m Josh. It’s nice to meet you on this lovely morning.”

You laugh a little at this, not because of what he said about Sammy, but because it seems so strange to you that they’re introducing themselves so casually, like they aren’t rockstars in one of the biggest bands in the world and completely unknown to the fact like you’re one of their biggest fans. You keep up the act, not wanting to make this encounter anymore awkward for you.

“It’s nice to meet you guys, too! I, um, should probably get going. Pretty busy day. I’m sorry again. I’ll pay better attention next time!”

“Oh, next time, huh? Look Josh, she’s already planning your second date!”

“Sam, you're absolutely insufferable. I sincerely mean it, y/n. No hard feelings at all. But I’m holding you to that paying attention sentiment. Some people around here aren’t nearly as pleasant as I am.”

There was something about hearing him say your name that instantly caused the butterflies in your stomach to swarm.

He ended his statement with a wink. You smiled and looked down at your feet, attempting to hide the blush that was again creeping up on your cheeks.

“Thanks, Josh. Hope to see you guys around sometime!”

You continued your walk while waving back at the rockstar brothers, nearly crashing into yet another bystander and causing them both to laugh. 

What you didn’t know was Josh watched you walk away until you were out of sight. He was captivated by you. He loved how shy and sweet you were, and he thought it was adorable how your cheeks turned pink with almost every word he said. He knew he wouldn’t forget you, and he genuinely hoped you would bump into him again. 

“Oh, Joshua. You foolish fuck.”

“Um, pardon me?”

“She was clearly into you. You’re batshit for not asking for her number.”

“I don’t know, Sam. I think the universe might have something in store beyond our control. I don’t believe that’s the last I’ll see of her.”

“Damn hippie.”

 ♪°•°∞♬°•°♪°•°∞♬°•°♪   

You’ve been resting most of the day, drinking lots of warm tea and gearing up for the show tonight that you’d been secretly dreading. 

You love music. You love performing. You love the feeling of being on stage. Nothing compares to it. But lately, you've been in a slump. You’ve lost your confidence, your ambition. You’re quickly running out of money, and the small amount that these gigs make you and the band is hardly enough to keep you afloat.

You want to finish the album. You want to move forward from this phase in your career. It just wasn’t happening, and you felt stagnant. 

You’re not sure how much longer you can continue these bar gigs full of drunk, mindless people who couldn’t give a shit one about your art. If you have to listen to one more belligerent man yelling at you to take your top off in the middle of a heartfelt song, you might *accidentally* toss an amplifier in the general direction of said man.

You hate that you feel this way. You hate that the music has become lost in the stress of trying to make enough money to eat.

You want to go back to the beginning of it all, back to wanting nothing more than to make the music you want to make with the people you love the most. That all seems like a distant memory, a dream of a dream trapped in another lifetime.

Still yet, you tried your best and gave your all in every show. 

You were often emotional on stage as the lyrics you typically write come straight from your heart. There’s something so magical about creating a song and sharing it with the world. It’s when you allow yourself to be your most vulnerable, to truly let the music guide your spirit. 

There’s always a bet in place amongst your bandmates over whether or not you’ll cry during a set. Jokes on the ones betting that you won’t break down in tears, because 9 times out of 10, you do.

Although you still weren’t thrilled about playing in the same, lackluster bar as the night before, something about tonight felt different. You couldn’t quite pinpoint it. You somehow felt a little lighter, a little more inspired. Maybe tonight won’t be as much of a shitshow. You hoped for as much, at least.

 ♪°•°∞♬°•°♪°•°∞♬°•°♪   

You arrived at the bar around 5:00 in the evening, about two hours before the doors were set to open. You weren’t scheduled to hit the stage until 9:00, but you and the band wanted a little extra time for a soundcheck given how messy last night was.

You all start getting things set up, but it didn’t take long considering you had left most of it in place from the night before.

You’re in front of the microphone stand preparing for a mic check when the go ahead is given from the guy in the sound booth. You started singing a little melody you randomly came up with, moving your thumb up and down a few times signaling where you needed the volume set.

You never used any sort of in-ear monitors over fear of them not working properly, and you just never saw the need for them since you mostly played really small venues. This meant that the sound truly needed to be perfected at every show to ensure you could hear yourself and your bandmates properly.

Still talking to the mic, you decide to tell everyone about your encounter earlier.

“You guys will never believe who I ran into this morning. And by that I mean I quite literally ran into him, like physically bumped into his back. I wanted to crawl in a hole.”

Jay, the guitarist, (and unfortunately your ex) had to chime in with his typical rhetoric of mocking you and your not-so-graceful moments.

“Jesus, y/n. It’s a wonder they let you out on your own and not worry about whether or not you’ll be fit to sing the next day. Why is it you always find yourself in these stupid situations?”

“To be fair, it’s because you played like shit last night and I had to think of how we were going to make up for it tonight. So, I guess you could say I was a bit distracted.”

The other two in the band bust up in laughter. 

You and Jay never really rekindled your friendship after the break up, considering he cheated on you multiple times, with multiple different women.

You managed to keep things professional, because as much as you hated to admit it, he was a damn good guitar player and you two have written some wonderful pieces together. Your music just wouldn’t be the same without each other. 

“Alright, alright. That’s enough, guys. Tell us, y/n! I’m dying to know.”

Your bassist, Ivy, has been your best friend for the better part of the last decade. You two decided to leave your hometown behind and take on Nashville together, to live out your dreams. 

She wasn’t a huge fan of Jay. Never had been, if she were to be honest. She never fully approved of you two dating over fear that he’d do, well, exactly what he did. She could see right through him when you were stuck with your rose-colored glasses on. She tolerated him for the sake of the band, but you’re her best friend. More like her sister. She hated him for what he did to you.

“Okay, first let me ask you this. Who would you say my favorite band is?”

Ivy immediately stops what she’s doing and looks at you with wide eyes and an open mouth.

She knows exactly where this is going. 

The two of you had gone to as many of their shows as you could before starting the band. You guys had always bonded over music, and Greta Van Fleet was a band that made your friendship even stronger. They brought out the best parts of you both.

“No fucking way.”

You just look at her with the biggest smile on your face as hers displays more and more shock.

“Are you fucking serious, y/n?” she asks with the biggest grin you think you’ve ever seen on her.

Julien, the drummer, also caught on immediately. He knows you and Ivy had a huge thing for Greta Van Fleet in the past. (still do, unapologetically)

“Oh my god, holy shit, y/n. Which one did you meet?”

“Josh. Fucking Josh. And I didn’t just meet him, I slammed into him from behind because I was off in my own world. Then Sammy came up and he-”

Ivy cuts you off with a loud gasp.

“JOSH? SAM? You’re shitting me. What were they like? What did you say?”

“Josh was so nice, so funny. And Sammy was hilarious. But I was so embarrassed and honestly completely taken off guard. I didn’t say much, just kept telling him I was sorry for invading his space that way.”

“Did you tell them about the band? About how much their music inspired us?”

“Well, no. In fact I acted like I didn’t know them at all. I didn’t want to embarrass myself even more, ya know? And I didn’t want it to turn into a shameless plug.”

“You’re much stronger than I am, y/n. I probably would’ve lost my fucking mind. I’m proud of you for keeping your composure.”

The three of you laugh as you all know damn well that Ivy was right in saying she would’ve lost her mind.

Jay then shoots you a look of pure anger as he makes his way over to you.

“What the fuck, y/n! That could’ve been our chance! They could’ve hooked us up with their people, their label, anything! You fucked us over! You didn’t even invite them to the show? Fucking ridiculous.”

“I didn’t want to bother them with that! They probably get so sick of things like that, of small bands using them to get their name out. I refuse to be that person. We’re not that desperate, Jay.”

“You’re so selfish, you know that?”

With that he storms off, leaving you and the rest of the band in complete silence.

Julien walks up to you, wrapping you in a big hug. A world famous, Julien hug.

“Don’t listen to him, y/n. You did the right thing.”

Julien is the peacekeeper in the group, and whenever trouble brews he’s usually the first to ease the tensions.

He followed Jay to try and alleviate some of his anger so that you all could have a proper soundcheck.

“God, he’s a prick. Why do we keep him around again, y/n?”

You huff out a laugh while you’re adjusting your mic stand to the perfect height. 

“When you find another guitarist with half his skill, let me know and we’ll drop him. Until then, I think we’re stuck, Ivy.”

 ♪°•°∞♬°•°♪°•°∞♬°•°♪   

7:30 pm

You had run through a pretty successful soundcheck and had now gone backstage to your respective dressing rooms to get ready.

You and Ivy typically shared a room so you both could share makeup and stage clothes. You liked to coordinate with each other for performances.

The rooms were small and dingy, and they wreaked of old cigarettes and stale beer. They also barely had any lighting so you two had to use the flashlights on your phones to be able to see to do your makeup. 

Tonight, you had decided on a black leather mini skirt with black tights and a strapless black bandeau top with a sheer bell sleeved crop top over it that tied in the front. You chose a pair of black doc martens to complete the look, along with your insane number of necklaces that you stacked with precision.

Ivy chose a low cut, short black dress that hugged her curves in the perfect way. She was a lot more graceful in heels than you, so she donned a pair of black leather knee high boots with a 4 inch heel. She added the finishing touches with her necklaces that perfectly matched yours.

You both had done your hair in messy curls with tons of volume, and your makeup each consisted of a sultry, smokey eye with nude lips.

You both looked damn good. 

The guys typically opted for a more casual stage look, usually jeans with some sort of ripped up t-shirt. They didn’t seem to care quite as much as you and Ivy.

 ♪°•°∞♬°•°♪°•°∞♬°•°♪   

8:55 pm

“You guys have 5 minutes! Better be ready or I’ll have your asses!”

Joe is the ‘unofficial’ manager of Lilac Moon. He’s basically everyone's dad who is there to keep you all in line. He’s technically retired from the music business, having been everything from a producer and a sound technician, to a member of multiple different groups, playing just about every instrument under the sun. He’s a bit of a jack of all trades, you could say.

He barely gets paid, but he doesn't mind. He enjoys the music and loves being the mentor for the group. He isn’t afraid to tell it straight, but he always has a loving intent. 

 ♪°•°∞♬°•°♪°•°∞♬°•°♪   

9:03 pm

Jay and Julien are already on stage ready to go, keeping the crowd entertained while you and Ivy finish up some last minute touches to your stage looks. It’s not uncommon for you two to be the last ones to make it out.

“Y/n! Ivy! It’s past nine, let’s go! You look fine, now get yourselves out there!”

“Shit. Sorry, Joe! We’re ready!”

You and Ivy finally hit the stage to roaring applause as your local fans are excited to see you both.

Ivy quickly grabs her white Hofner violin bass, already plugged in and ready to be played.

You make your way to the mic and start talking to the crowd, making some of your famous (more like infamous) jokes to warm up the audience. 

You look back and nod at the band, signaling that you’re ready. At last, the bar is filled with the sounds of Lilac Moon. 

The crowd is quite loud and excited tonight. You all feed off of their energy perfectly as you play your music. You changed the set a bit from the night before, so everything felt fresh and new. It was going so much better than last night, and you felt the love radiating from the crowd in ways you never had before.

 ♪°•°∞♬°•°♪°•°∞♬°•°♪   

9:47 pm

You’re at the part of the night that your set typically slows down, doing a few softer, ballad-like songs. 

You had been working on a new song for awhile. It was loosely based on your experience with Jay. You hadn’t performed it yet, knowing you would be entirely too emotional, but you decided that tonight was the night for it. You were ready. 

Before you and Jay split up, he had been teaching you guitar so you could eventually play a little on stage with him. Well, since you broke up, you’ve not really wanted to pick up the instrument again. This new song, though…it requires a bit of backing rhythm guitar, meaning you’re the one that needs to play it.

You walked to the guitar stand to pick up your baby blue epiphone les paul that you bought yourself second hand several years ago. This is the first time you’ll be playing it on stage, and you’re nervous.

“If you’ve been to a Lilac Moon show before, you know this is, um - a bit out of the ordinary.”

The crowd laughs as you get your guitar set up comfortably. 

“Don’t worry, I’ve been practicing. But if it sounds like shit, just blame Jay.”

You glance at him with a smirk as he throws a matching one right back at you.

Right as you're about to strum the beginning chords of the song, you notice a familiar set of faces in the crowd, albeit faces you’ve never seen at one of your shows before.

You’re completely still as you lock eyes with none other than Josh. To say you’re stunned is an understatement. 

He looks just as shocked as you, with a large, confused smile gracing his face. There’s no way he remembers you, right? No - no way in hell. 

To make matters worse, the whole band is here. They’re with other people whom you can only assume are friends of theirs, possibly their security team or management. 

You’re not sure how long they’ve been here as the lights pointing to the stage have been far too bright to make out any faces in the crowd up until this point, save for the ones who were right up against the stage.

If you had to guess, you’d say they’ve been here the whole time. Now you’re really nervous. And you’re about to play guitar for the first time in front of a crowd-in front of them. 

It’s too late to back out now, and with your bandmates looking at you with subtle confusion, you decide to just go for it.

“This is a new song we’ve been working on, it’s still a bit of a work in progress so bare with us. It’s called “Alone Again.”’

The crowd gets excited at the thought of new music and you’re happy with the reaction.

The song begins. You start strumming the chords and singing, already feeling the emotions rise.

Don’t you dare start crying, y/n. Not in front of them.

The bridge of this song is passionate, serving as the climax to the eventual heartbreak the song ends with. 

You’re really worked up, unable to control the emotions any longer.

You step away from the mic briefly as you gather yourself during the chorus, Ivys’ backing vocals taking over. Julien watches you with concern as his drumming increases to a wild pace. 

You gain your composure and step back in front of the mic, singing with so much fervency. 

The song ends strong. The crowd is the loudest they’ve been this whole night.

You did it. You fucking did it.

You set your guitar back on the stand and grab the mic.

“What’s a Lilac Moon show without a little emotional breakdown from yours truly, am I right?”

You do this sometimes to lighten the mood a bit, when it all becomes a bit too heavy for your liking. You laugh with the crowd as you all prepare for the final song.

“Let’s get a little louder, shall we?”

The audience cheers as you perform the last song. It’s an upbeat, good old fashioned rock and roll song that never fails to garner a strong reaction from your fans.

You glance every so often to see the famous rock stars dancing and having a great time. 

You can’t believe it. They seem to be enjoying themselves, listening to your music. You would have never in a million years seen this coming.

You finish the song to loud, boisterous applause as you all make your way off stage.

You quickly run up to Ivy to ask her if she saw what you saw, but you’re cut off by the loud chanting of “ENCORE” coming from the audience.

“What the hell? They want an encore?”

You’re surprised as this has never happened before.

“Well shit, kids. Get back out there! Give the people what they want!”

Joe is practically shoving you guys back on stage. You’re all in utter shock as you make your way back out. 

The cheering is almost deafening as you begin another song. 

You’re filled with so much love and excitement as you can feel it emitting from the people in the audience. You feel fulfilled, you feel happy. 

As you’re performing your encore, you can’t help but notice that it seems the boys and their entourage are no longer in the crowd. 

You’re betting they just wanted to leave before the after-show chaos ensues, but you can’t help feeling like maybe they just weren’t impressed enough to stick around for the encore.

You quickly shove those thoughts down to give the audience the best you can give. It was the perfect ending to this amazing show. You guys even decide to throw in your own little rendition of Me and Bobby McGee by Janis Joplin, a crowd favorite cover of yours.

Julien tosses his drumsticks to the crowd as Jay follows suit with a few guitar picks as you exit the stage for the final time.

♪°•°∞♬°•°♪°•°∞♬°•°♪ 

10:24 pm

You’re all backstage again, full of pure adrenaline.

Julien runs around hugging everyone and gives you and Ivy enthusiastic kisses on your foreheads.

“Holy shit, guys! I think that’s the best we’ve ever been! Where’s Jay?”

Ivy rolls her eyes and looks at you before responding.

“He’s probably already at the bar on his third or fourth drink. You know how he is; the drinking binge begins as soon as he’s done with his responsibilities to the band.”

You’re not interested in talking about Jay. You have to ask them if they saw the guys in the audience.

“Did you guys see who was out there tonight? I almost lost my shit.”

“What? No, who are you talking about?”

Julien is a bit confused, but Ivy saw them too.

“Holy shit, y/n. What the hell were they doing here? I thought you said you didn’t tell them about us?”

“I didn’t, I swear! I’m just as confused as you are!”

You both hug each other, laughing and trying to make sense of it all.

Julien has already moved on from the conversation, making his way to the bathrooms.

You start to head back to your dressing room to gather up your things when a thought enters your head.

Where’s Joe? He’s always waiting on the side of the stage for us, always there when we exit. Why wasn’t he there after the encore?

As you turn the corner, you see him.

“Joe! There you are! Did you see-”

You then realize that he’s not alone. He’s talking with some people, but not just any people.

He’s talking with Josh, Jake, Sammy and Danny, and the people they came to the bar with were also part of this conversation.

You stop dead in your tracks.

What the hell are they doing back here? And why are they talking to Joe?

“Y/N! Holy shit, you sly dog, you!”

Sammy runs up to you and embraces you in the kind of hug you give to someone you’ve known your whole life. You eagerly hug him back. You can’t believe he remembers you.

Here comes Josh with a huge, toothy smile on his face.

“Hey, y/n!

He pushes Sammy to the side so he can have his turn giving you a hug. He sways you back and forth in his arms a bit and you practically melt under his touch. You feel you could stay in the safety of his arms for the rest of your life. 

He breaks the embrace but keeps his hands planted on your shoulders.

“You know it’s funny, but I can’t seem to recall you telling us you’re in a band. A fucking incredible one, at that!”

“I-I guess I just didn’t think to mention it. What on earth are you guys doing here? I feel like bars like this aren’t really your speed?”

Danny starts to make his way over to you, leaving Jake and their team with Joe to finish the conversation.

“Daniel here has been trying to get us to come and see this band he’s been digging for a while now and we finally agreed. Had I known how fantastic you were, I wouldn’t have hesitated!”

“I don’t know why you idiots haven’t learned by now that you should always trust my music taste.”

Danny introduces himself to you, and you’re once again in shock. 

Danny knows your band? He actually digs your music? 

“I swear every time I see you guys, you blow me away! Truly great stuff.”

How many shows has he been to??

“Oh my god, thank you so much. I’m not even sure what to say. I mean, you guys are incredible and I’m a huge fan. I wouldn’t have ever expected you all to be here and-”

Your rambling is cut short by Josh removing his hands from your shoulders, displaying a look of slight concern mixed with a smirk.

“Wait, you’re a fan of us? You could’ve fooled me! Why didn’t you act like it when we met you this morning?”

Shit. Your act is up.

“Well, I guess I was just in shock and didn’t want you to think I was just another crazed fan who just so happened to run into you accidentally-on-purpose, you know? I swear, it truly was an accident.”

Josh starts giggling at you, seeing that familiar look of embarrassment flushing your face again.

“Oh trust me, y/n. I have no doubt it was an accident. You looked like you saw a ghost or something.” 

He grabs your arm, letting you know it’s okay and that you can relieve some of your visible tension.

“So what are you guys doing back here? What were you talking to Joe about?”

About that time, you hear a high pitched shrill coming from behind you. You instantly know it’s Ivy. 

She runs up to you and the guys and introduces herself to them. She’s having a hard time hiding the fact that she’s a major fan, and you can’t help but laugh at her and her enthusiasm as she hugs them.

Joe, Jake and the people accompanying them start to make their way over to you all.

Jake gives his brothers a confirming nod.

“We’re all set, boys. I suppose we just need the official ‘okay’ from the band.”

Jake glances your way, his cheekbones high on his face and he smiles at you both. 

You and Ivy look at each other with genuine confusion as you can’t figure out what the hell is going on. You both look to Joe for some answers as he’s grinning from ear to ear.

“Y/n, Ivy, the boys and their management have asked me if you would like to join them on the road for the first half of their next tour starting in July. Thoughts on this, ladies?”

You’re both at a loss for words. They want you to join them? What? Is this actually happening?

You instantly look at Josh who appears to be anxiously awaiting your answer as he chimes in.

“You see, we’re down an opener for the first part of the tour, and that’s why Daniel wanted us to come watch you guys tonight. He figured you all would be perfect for the job, and I agree. So what do you say? Care to join us on this audacious trip?”

“Oh my god..I-I mean we’ll have to check with Julien and Jay but, I don’t see why not! That sounds amazing! I can’t believe it, you want us?”

“Josh absolutely insisted on it as soon as you walked out on stage. In fact he could hardly keep his eyes off you, isn’t that right, bro?” Sammy says as he nudges your shoulder and throws you a wink.

You look at Josh to see that his cheeks are the ones burning red this time.

Julien is practically sprinting down the hall when he figures out who’s backstage with you.

“What’s up, guys? Huge fan of your stuff, seriously. So sick to see you here!”

He gives them all handshakes that turn into his notable hugs.

“Hey Jules, they just asked us to join them on the road this summer. Think that’s a good idea?” you ask him as he’s instantly making friends with the other drummer.

“Are- are you fucking serious? Of course I do! No way, man!”

You all break out in laughter as he makes yet another round of handshakes and hugs to show his gratitude.

Josh moves a little closer to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and bumping your hip with his playfully.

“So, it’s settled then, y/n?”

You look at Ivy as she’s vigorously nodding her head up and down, tears in her eyes as she’s struggling to contain her excitement.

“I think that’s a resounding yes!”

to be continued...

Chapter 2

join the taglist!

♪°•°∞♬°•°♪°•°∞♬°•°♪ 

taglist: @jakeyt​​

[infamous-if]

So I was thinking of Infamous (like I’ve been doing for weeks now) and I started thinking that It would be kinda cool if, years after the story takes place, once MC’s band and Soft Violence have reached a considerable level of fame, the remaining members of the two bands (maybe some of them left to start a family or pursue other projects) formed a new band together. Do you ever see this happening?

I know that my MC would love the idea (MC and Seven back at singing together<3), but what about the other members of MC’s band and Soft Violence? Which ones see themselves doing music for decades to come, and which ones are more like Jazzy instead, happy to settle down and leave music behind? Would they join this hypothetical band?

See themselves doing this for decades to come: Rowan, Iris, Orion, Pope, Avina.

I can see Rowan joining, but not Iris. I see Iris going solo or hopping around bands and gigs and just going where life takes her. I think after a while she wouldn’t want to be tied down. August would probably join but they’re happy to let it go after they feel their time came and went. It just depends how they feel.

Orion…if Orion has belief in the band then yeah he would want to be involved but if he thinks there’s no potential there he wouldn’t stick around lmfaofjdkfndb

Happy to settle down: Devyn, Kieran, August,

Seven is half and half. They wouldn’t mind settling down but music is all they know. It’s hard to move away from what makes up majority of who they are as a person.

[crimium]

My thoughts on the new Hifuu Album

Well, Taboo Japan Disentanglement just came out! after reading the story and listening to the tracks, I thought I'd share my thoughts on the album!

The tracks

I'm going to go through the album tracks in order and give my individual thoughts on them.

1 - Morning Comes on Tanabata Hill (Original)

This is surprisingly emotional for an opening track. The new drum set here is wonderful, and the piano is soothing and atmospheric. I do think the melody is kind of all over the place though, and it's a bit hard to follow. All in all, a really nice calming song.

2 - Tinkerbell of Inequality (Original)

I've been excited to listen to this one ever since the album got announced because of the interesting title, and HOLY SHIT THIS SONG IS AMAZING. The instrumentation is so weird but oh so good. The track is ominous but jazzy. The melody is catchy. It reminds me of GFC and CoSD, with it's apocalyptic futuristic vibe. This is easily the best track in the album. Solid.

3 - Does the Forbidden Door Lead to This World, or the World Beyond? (HSiFS arrangement)

Now we get to the arrangements. The song is sporting a new drum set and piano, and I can safely say that the instrumentation is a huge improvement to the original. To be frank, I'm not too much of a fan of HSiFS's instrumentation, now don't get me wrong, the songs are great, but they suffer a bit because the instruments ZUN uses are a bit lackluster. Here, that is not the case, this a great arrange. Something I do want to note, is that the BPM of the arranges seems to be lowered a bit from their original counterparts. Not a bad thing, but it's interesting to keep in mind as you keep listening.

4 - Smoking Dragon (UM arrangement)

HOOOOOOLYYYYYY SHIIIIIIIT. The key change. the new drumset. the new, climactic/triumphant atmosphere. The new section added in??? It's all so perfect, this does the original song justice. I love this so much. One of my favorite arranges in the whole album.

5 - Mugen Noh ~ Taboo Marionette (Original)

This song is calming, but sinister sounding as well. It hits a nice balance of calming and uneasy. The instrumentation, once again, is really good here. I do feel that the electric guitar a bit later in feels a bit out of place, but in general, the song creates a really good atmosphere, and it's definitely a standout track.

6 - Crazy Backup Dancers (HSiFS arrangement)

I don't really have much to say about this one, other than that it's a fairy good arrangement of the original song. ZUN added a new synth(?) into the mix, which gives it a distinct sound from the original. It's fun!

7 - Yorimashi Between Dreams and Reality ~ Necro-Fantasia (AoCF arrange)

ZUN. you can't keep getting away with this. This is peak. The song has a newly added intro of the Necrofantasia main theme before the song kicks in, and WOW does it create an atmosphere. The instrumentation is once again great and the key change (that just dissapears half-way through lmao) is also really cool. This is a great track.

8 - The Lonesome Path in Hitachi (Original)

A surprisingly upbeat track given the title. It's composed in swing rhythm, and because of that, it kinda reminds me of Let's Live in a Lovely Cemetery and Like the Brilliance of Fairies. Not that that's a bad thing, but it does make it sand out a bit less for me. Still a good track, though! Also ZUN chill out with those reverbs

9 - The Lamentations Known Only by Jizo (WBaWC arrange)

I like the new choir here, it makes it sound more dramatic. I am a bit disappointment that the flute kind of overshadows the Spooky Lead from the original, but it's not a bad arrangement at all. And man this drum set is really doing wonders rn

10 - The Concealed Four Seasons (HSiFS arrange)

WOW. TALK ABOUT A GREAT FINALE. This arrangement tweaks just enough without completely changing the vibe of the original song, and it's fantastic. About halfway through, there's a key change that makes it sort of feel like a phase 2 to the song, and it really completes the whole package. Fantastic.

11 - Apparitions Abound Even Outside of Night (Original)

Oh cool, what a nice, calming, uplifting trac- ZUN WHAT ARE YOU DOING. So the song starts off very calming and atmospheric, and then turns into digi-rock like a minute in. It's kind of jarring but I think it works, the song is still fantastic, and does a good job wrapping things up for the album, and the story. Speaking of which...

The story (spoiler warning)

Without going into too much detail, because I highly recommend you read the story on your own, the predictions of Merry and Renko being separated where not exactly wrong, although I think the story was a lot less heartbreaking than everyone thought it would've been. It serves as a nice drama and really shows how these characters relate to each other. Seeing Renko drop everything just to save Merry shows that even if they get on the wrong foot, they're still the Hifuu club, through and through.

In conclusion, this album is absolutely stellar. ZUN's instrumentation this time around is incredibly diverse, and I can tell he was having fun experimenting. The story is also well written, showcasing these two characters and their conflicting yet similar ideals. Please, go give this album a listen! It may have been 8 years since the last hifuu album, but it was definitely worth the wait.

[cosmicsundust]

My thoughts on some randomly chosen Will Wood songs

Yes, to Err is Human, So Don't Be One: Had a really cool opening then got funky

You're Body, My Temple: Sick guitar rift immediately followed by clown music

Skeleton Appreciation Day in Vestal, NY (Bones): Tasty old piano and love the sentiment

The Main Character: Sounds like I'd hear it in a movie like Megamind but not Megamind itself

Laplace’s Angel (Hurt People? Hurt People!): I feel like I could listen to it on a lot of occasions if I don't actually listen to the lyrics

...well, better than the alternative: Upbeat jazzy sad

Cicada Days: Nice and oddly calm for Will Wood but then he rocks out at the end

Half-Decade Hangover: Sounds a little churchy but in a positive way also he curses like he doesn't want to

Big Fat Bitchie’s Blueberry Pie, Christmas Tree, and Recreational Jell-o Emporium a.k.a. “Mr. Boy is on the Roof Again” (Feat. Pasta by Sneakers McSqueakers) [From the Motion Picture ”B.F.B.’s B-Sides: Bagel Batches, Marshmallows, and Barsh-mallows]: Nice name wish the song was as long as it

Against the Kitchen Floor: It's a song I want to share but don't know how I could

White Noise: So close to being a song you could fall asleep to but he just couldn't hold himself back long enough

Red Moon: idk it's just good in the way that made me go "ooo that's nice"

And I can't leave out my sister's comment on the original post

[undefeatednils]

TTRPGs I Desperately Wanna Play

I like TTRPGs. I've only played with three systems (D&D 5e, The Dark Eye 4th Edition Revised, and Dread), but I'd love to try out more. These are a small selection of games that I wish I could play, but I sadly lack the group(s) for that. Also, as an honorary mention, Pathfinder 2e needs to be pointed out. It's very mainstream, and I think I'd enjoy it as a player, but not as a GM.

These games are all in alphabetical order, by the way!

Blades in the Dark

Blades in the Dark is an absolute classic, from everything I've heard. Designed by John Harper and pretty old by now (2017!), I'd just love to experience a short campaign with it. The usage of "clocks" to represent progress when solving problems, the focus on intrigue in general, flashbacks! Blades in the Dark is a very specific game, but it sure looks so fun!

Cloud Empress

Designed by someone going by watt, Cloud Empress is heavily inspired by Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind, the first original movie by Hayao Miyazaki (by the way, not a Ghibli movie, because it predates the studio, and its success allowed Studio Ghibli to be formed!).

Cloud Empress really feels like a world where violence is an option, but rarely worth it. Gorgeous illustrations, a fantastic injury and stress system, and a dark yet hopeful setting really give it a lot of flavor that I really, really love!

GRIM

Designed by Tumblr's own @efangamez, GRIM is a dark sci-fi horror game inspired by Quake. I loved reading about its fast-paced, coin-toss-based gameplay and its focus on players rushing around the dungeons, so I'd love to get to play it some day! Let me slay some eldritch beings!

Mausritter

Another oldie, but a goldie! Mausritter by Isaac Williams really plays with the squishyness of player characters in TTRPGs of yore and plays with it by making the players create cute little mice that go on adventures. You can go Watership Down dark, or whimsy, or somewhere inbetween. Perfect little guy energy in the form of a game.

Mothership

So... Are you looking to play a game with someone that really allows you to mirror classic films like Alien or Aliens or The Thing or Event Horizon? I think Mothership by Sean McCoy and others would be the perfect game for that. It largely uses d100s and really seems to allow for characters that fit the archetypes you can find in sci-fi horror movies and have them be both weak enough to be in danger but competent enough to have a shot at dealing with the problem at hand.

See You Space Cowboy

See You Space Cowboy (also known as CUSC) by Onslaught Six and the rest of Tidal Wave Games is really just Cowboy Bebop the TTRPG without the licensing required. Lots of jazzy slang creates the short ruleset for this fun sci-fi RPG. Its system of traits, talents, and breaks feels very intuitive, and I just wanna put on some T-Square or Yoko Kanno or Casiopea while me and a bunch of friends try to survive in a zanier version of space compared to, say, Mothership xD

Sherwood

Created by Richard Ruane, with additional design by Eric Swanson, Sherwood really looks like it can capture the feeling a lot of TTRPG campaigns want to achieve when presented with the idea of adventurers being more trouble for commonfolk than they're worth.

It uses a nice, elegant 2d6 system, its four attributes also serve as a resource for your outlaw, and it really seems fit to tell fun folk tales filled with magic, rebellion, and merriment!

The Electrum Archive

Developed by @emielboven, I just adore pretty much everything about The Electrum Archive. It combines an incredibly flavorful desert world setting with mechanics that are easy to grasp for folks who mostly play 5e, and three very cool classes (I adore the Warlock and the whole magic system which involves knowing the true names of magical spirits and a bit of negotiation between the Warlock player and the GM). I backed the game's second volume via Kickstarter because I was so blown away even by the free rules. I adore it!

Wanderhome

Wanderhome, by Jay Dragon, is another classic. And it barely has any "conventional" mechanics, mostly relying on conversations guided by the, many, many playbooks that exist for it. It really seems like such a beautiful game, an exercise in empathy, and I'd love to read the rulebook more and sit down with folks to "play" Wanderhome, sharing tasty drinks and snacks in the sun.

Also, as an honorary mention, Pathfinder 2e needs to be pointed out. It's very mainstream, and I think I'd enjoy it as a player, but not as a GM.

Also sorry to the two folks I tagged, both are just very prolific people who are also (semi-)active on Tumblr, so yeah...

And again, I didn't get to play any of these. But maybe I will sooner rather than later? Hopefully?

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

no we need to talk about all of taylors vocal decisions on ttpd, between the monotone voice mixed with the high vocals on so long london that alludes to both resignation but also a sort of self explaining, or the softness in loml or a play on who's afraid of little old me being both high and low (which symbolizes for me her voice at the beginning of her career and now) or the how she chokes up on 'for free'...i could go all day

So I had written a long post answering this and went to hit post and instead Tumblr ate it 🤬 I am going to try my best to remember it lol.

I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS FOR DAYS.

With a disclaimer that yes, I know all musicians use their voice to tell a story and Taylor is not unique in that bla bla bla, the way she uses it and specifically the way she uses it on TTPD is so masterful. She truly uses her voice as an instrument on the album the same way she uses her guitar or piano on stage.

There are so many songs where this is evident, but So Long, London is the one that sticks out the most immediately, because the way she uses the tools in her voice to tell the story of what is in some ways the stages of grief within the song is incredible.

The song opens kinda cool, almost dare I say jazzy with “I saw in my mind fairy lights in the mist,” telling a story throughout the verse like someone on stage in a dark club, or even in my mind, like the beginning of a film noir movie. She’s not IN the situation anymore, she’s recalling it like she’s giving a police statement. I feel like you can practically feel the smoke in the air.

When she gets to the first pre-chorus, she sounds almost exasperated, like you can hear the fatigue and almost exasperation in her voice with that kind of low, raspy drone. “How much sad did you think I had, think I had in me? Oh, the tragedy,” always gets me because spoiler alert: she flips it the next time she sings it, with just the change of one word, but specifically here, that “Oh, the tragedy” is sarcastic; you can hear the eye roll. It actually reminds me a lot of the way she sings “Here we go again, the voices in his head” in My Boy. She’s tired of it the merry-go-round.

She gets airy in the chorus, decidedly gentler in “So long, London, you’ll find someone,” like her mind is trailing off, but she’s also, if not tender, then at least like… vulnerable? Considerate? You can feel the ache in the lightness of her voice.

In the second verse, she finds her voice again, and the lower register feels like something is bubbling, even in that kind of jazzy cadence. But she also kind of rushes her words together, like she’s building steam, so that by the time we get to the end of the verse to the first real shocker moment of “I’m pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free,” you feel the anger starting to take over. The first verse ended with exasperation, the second with frustration. She’s finding her footing and her groove in this rant. The way she sings “for free” is filled with so much emotion, and again the fact that it’s all beneath the surface in her lower register, and almost spat out, conveys how mad she is underneath the sadness.

By the time we get to the bridge, that anger is ready to burst out, which is when she starts using her belting too to effect. She hits higher notes, and there’s again almost a kind of gospel/blues/church-y sound to it, not unlike Don’t Blame Me to my ears, which contrasts so starkly with that steady low thrum you mentioned in the earlier verses. You can feel her white knuckle dying grip. The whole bridge just feels like a rant she wishes she could unleash on the person, but of course they aren’t there and hadn’t been for a long time. I think I particularly note the way she sings “every breath feels like rarest air,” because it FEELS like she’s taking a big breath. As @grilledcheeselouise reminded me of (from Tumblr eating my post 🤬), it almost sounds like hyperventilating in the middle of an anxiety attack, or in between sobs. (Which matches the pulsing beat of the song that FEELS like you’re being chased, or like a building anxiety attack.)

My favourite part of the song, and one I’ve written about before (good luck trying to find it, thanks tumblr) is the switch when she repeats “How much sad did you think I had, think I had in me, how much tragedy?!” She only swapped out two words (“oh” for “how much”), but the way she sings it completely changes the meaning of it. It is raw and sad and angry. It’s less breathy and more desperate. Whereas the first time she’s kind of snarking, the second time she’s IMPLORING the person to understand how much pain she endured. What did you think was going to be my final straw?! How did you not think I was going to break right in front of you?! She modulates the power in her voice and vocalizations and tone to great effect to tell the story.

Yet I love that it then starts to temper when she sings, “Just how low did you think I’d go before I’d self-implode, before I’d have to go be free?” Because she ends it on such a breathy note, like she’s already flown away. Her voice trails off, just like she left the relationship.

So then when we get to the last verse, the anger is replaced by sorrow. The rasp in her voice and the pulling back on her power sounds like you would after you’d been yelling or crying and are just exhausted from your grief, which matches “You swore that you loved me but where were the clues?” Part of the verse. BUT! BUT! As she sings that she’s “just getting colour back into my face,” you FEEL her coming back to life, and she sings louder and more confidently, and when she gets to, “I’m just mad as hell because I loved this place,” she SOUNDS like she singing through gritted teeth, like you can heard the difference in her mouth shape as she sings. She’s angry because she felt like her hand was forced, because she the relationship that brought her so much comfort at one point and as her home completely imploded.

By the final chorus, you feel the resignation and the acceptance of it all. It’s sad, but there’s also an… understanding? In her voice in “had a good run,” acknowledging the good in the relationship that is now gone. It gets breathier and lighter so that by the time you get to “You’ll find someone,” you know she’s fully walked away. It fades away as quietly as the memories first entered her mind in the opening line of the song. (And it’s an interesting outro to lead into “But Daddy I Love Him” next.)

I said the last two paragraphs so much better in my original post but now I’m too tired and mad to try to remember it lol.

Another moment that stands out to me is how at the end of The Black Dog, she sings “old habits die screaming,” where she can barely choke out the last word in the faintest of whispers in contrast to the word which would demand a belt. It conveys how despite how angry she is, by the end it’s really just left her broken.

There are so many other instances of it that I could not possibly list them all!

[madrone33]

I finally listened to Hadestown! 🎉

Starting with the Original Cast Recording, ‘cause might as well do it in release order. Loved it! Groovy music. Snickered. Cried. Wrote down my reaction as I went, so if you're chill with rambled thoughts and observations, here you go lol

(Soz for any typos, I was touch typing most of the time, and I've edited it but probs missed stuff)

Road to Hell (Live)

Oh it’s JAZZY. Huh. Didn't expect that, but I am living.

I like how at the start they’re simulating a train’s chugging.

Those call and response harmonies tho *chef's kiss*

Kinda reminds me of Udad.

Oh that’s Hermes!

“It’s a sad song” he says, while singing the boppiest of bops.

I like that “suitcase full of summertime” line.

“About someone... who tries.” Oho, we’re gettin into it now! *rubs hands together*

Also, I completely get now why Jorge said that first draft of EPIC: The Musical Hermes was like Hadestown.

Livin' It Up on Top (Live)

That’s a smooth transition👌

Persephone’s voice is really cool. Kinda rough texture?

Oh I didn’t realise Persephone and Hades would be having a turbulent relationship in this.

Oooh Orpheus’ voice is smooth.

They’re all so happy huh. Welp, you know there’s gonna be a crash in their future.

Orpheus seems really grateful for Persephone’s... graciousness? When he said that she'll always fill their cups and they'll raise them to her and stuff. Theory: either she’ll have a soft spot for him later, or he’ll feel betrayed and blindsided by the more cold side of her later.

All I've Ever Known (Live)

I don’t know anything about Eurydice, but is this her song?

Ah yeah Orpheus is singing, so it must be.

Oop. Foreshadowing.

Way Down Hadestown (Live)

Hermes is back!

“Bored to death” HA

“Graveyard” wow the puns/metaphors are going hard XD

I can’t tell who’s singing lmao. This is like when I listened to Hamilton for the first time. I’ll need lyrics, or familiarity RIP

The coins as the percussion/tambourine is a nice touch.

Hades’ voice is DEEP.

They haven’t mentioned gods yet, I don’t think? Just the Fates, right? It sounds more like a mining operation metaphor for mythos right now, hmm.

Epic II (Live)

King of diamonds and spades - like the playing card suits, but also like the mining operation.

It’s the La la la la thing from Wolfy’s animatic! Almost. A different rendition - I bet I'll hear that later 👀

Why is it called Epic II? Where’s 1? Am I missing something?

Chant (Live)

Oh they’re doing overlapping meodies!!

Ah wait this is Eurydice now, gotta go back a few seconds to catch that. I keep getting her mixed up with Persephone 😅

Oh now we’ve got Eurydice and Orpheus relationship troubles? Huh, I kinda assumed they’d be the perfect couple till her death.

And a semi callback to her song, nice.

Hay Little Songbird (Live)

DAMN his voice is deep!

Is this Eurydice??

Is- Is Hades seducing her? To work for him of smth? Ummm.

Not the canary!

That shaker sounds like a rattlesnake, and it does not bode well for a little bird.

When the Chips are Down (Live)

Oh hey I was right! It is a metaphorical rattlesnake!

Does she choose to go to the Underworld of her own volition? I thought she like- died.

Gone I'm Gone (Live)

She does??

Ouch. She sounds so resigned.

Is this a metaphor for her starving to death? Oof.

The harmonies!!

Wait for Me (Live)

“Six feet under” oh yep.

“Lay low, stay outta sight” - getting Hamilton's Stay Alive vibes.

“Don’t look back” ah. FORESHADOWING.

Ohhh the River Styx being a high wall is so smart!

“And don’t look no one in the eye” I must be too deep in the Odyssey related fandoms, because I'm seeing puns where there are none lmao

The HARMONIES!

Poor Orpheus, but I mean, he was kinda being a bit… naive? If he didn’t prepare for winter and just went off in his own head to make songs?

Why We Build the Wall (Live)

Free from who?

Enemy? 👀

(Yes, I'm aware I'm being led into asking all the questions he wants me to ask, but in my defence, it's very effective.)

Oh huh. Wasn't expecting it to be poverty, tho maybe I should've.

Him calling them “My children” plus the chanting is uh. Why does this sound like cult propaganda?

His voice sounds like the Ozymandias poem guy.

Also giving Frollo “She ran, I pursued” vocal vibes.

“Behind closed doors” - ominous.

Ha! Ok nice subversion.

Our Lady of the Underground (Live)

Persepone is a drug dealer XD

That’s a strange note on “there’s a crack in the wall”

Oh no, am I supposed to remember all these band member names? *crying*

Way Down Hadestown II (Live)

Bringing back motifs I see.

The pickaxes as percussion is cool.

Oop, Eurydice is getting a bit of a wake up call.

Chant II (Live)

Ooooh does the ‘backdoor’ Hermes meant, mean that Orpheus doesn’t have to ‘die’ to get there? ‘Cause he didn’t sign anything, which is a metaphor for him not actually being dead in the myth, so he can still leave.

“Hungry for the underworld” - the pomegranate?

And now Eurydice and Orpheus are singing half the La la la la tune each as if to each other from across the Underworld!

Ooh I LIKE those slant rhymes! "Young man, you can strum your lyre, I have strung the world in wire."

Oh this is where Orpheus sings his plea!! I know this is a thing because of Udad's Underworld Blues lol.

Epic III (Live)

The harmonies 🥺

Oh! It’s that part from Wolfy's animatic :O

I’m tearing up bro.

Just thinking that Eurydice was so upset with Orpheus for focusing on writing his song about Hades and Persephone, but it's that very song that is giving him a chance to sway Hades' mind. But on the other hand, if he'd focused less on the song, he never would've had to use it, y'know?

Word to the Wise (Live)

Ha the Fates(?) doing Hades’ inner monologue like, yeah bro u screwed yourself.

Uh oh this is probs where Hades comes up with the ultimatum. Wait no don't-

His Kiss the Riot (Live)

Those strings are creepy.

Belladonna? Oh the poisonous flower.

Did he call Orpheus the Jack of Hearts?

That acordian is awesome.

Fuck, I knew it.

He sounds like the guy who does the creepily ominous monologue in Micheal Jackson's Thriller.

Promises (Live)

Oh huh. It’s my theory from the 2nd song but it's Eurydice feeling betrayed that the world isn't always plentiful and not Orpheus?

Those strings are gorgeous!

Oh! A duet!

When the couple actually works out their shit:

“I do” omgggg!

KEEP WALKING. DONT LOOK BACK.

Wait for Me II (Live)

Aww that’s nice. Persephone and Hades are gonna try too!

Oh no not the “wait” like in Hurricane-

Doubt Come In (Live)

Oh noooooo

KEEP GOING. JUST KEEP GOING. SHE’S WITH YOU

OH NOOOO DON’T FALTER

LISTEN TO HER! HOLD ON! KEEP GOING!

... Oh god

Road to Hell II (Live)

NO THERE'S A FUCKING AD

Hermes sounds so sad but resigned. Like, 'Oh well. I knew it would turn out like this, but I'd hoped.' Which like. SAME.

The instruments stripped away so it's only silence and one voice is so good.

I can just imagine Orpheus collapsed shell shocked on stage as Hermes not unkindly pushes him to go on.

That reprise and ending is so fucking good AHHH omg no regrets. Some regrets. Whatever, it was good.

... Time to listen to it again with lyrics :D

And then I'm gonna listen to the Original Broadway Cast Recording!

[uldren-sov]

The new normal

A look into the band and a start of what real fame may start to look like as always it GOT AWAY FROM ME and initially it was just going to be the ending bit but if I don't give context I will explode ~3k words lil @infamous-if ficlet Camy Rose is mine! Everyone else (but those fans) are canon

✩

Camy should not be alive right now. Or at least, she should not be awake right now, not after the party that happened last night. It’s day two of a two day music fest and even though they had two-day passes, they were only scheduled to perform on day one. Which meant the after-party for all the other bands also only playing on the first day had every right going as hard as it did, but had no right leaving her in the state that it did. 

She remembers doing her due diligence: rubbing elbows, laughing, networking, and making fast friends with the right people. She remembers the flashes of recognition, the compliments on her band’s performance and their newest album, the excitement of the connection was happening with other bands, mutual comments of admiration, and all of the selfies and pics and tags to show off brand new friends. She also remembers the tight smiles, the sympathy in some words, the condolences that still haven’t gone away, because despite their new album – Gambit – finally coming out (more like getting ripped out of her like a bullet would in an action movie), despite it doing better numbers than she would have ever expected, despite it getting better reception than she anticipated, despite it being over a year later, despite Soft Violence’s debut; the breakup, the breakdown was still on everyone’s tongue. She remembers the drinks, the drugs, the laughter, the dancing, and hands gripping her clothes. She doesn’t remember much after that. 

But at least she woke up in her hotel room, not only with all her clothes on, but on the correct way, without any kind of signs that there was anyone else here besides Jazzy. Small victories and she’ll take them where she can get them. Wait, Jazzy? She doesn’t remember falling back asleep but the next time she opens her eyes – it’s raining? The rain is warm and it’s soaked her through, her clothes feeling like a weird, warm, weighted blanket. No, that’s stupid. It’s not raining inside. She’s in a white tub, in a white tiled bathroom, and Jazzy has her chin propped up on her hand at the edge of the tub smiling as their eyes meet. 

“I’m not going to recreate that Vine-” the headache bursts behind Camy’s eyes and she’s scrambling to hunch over the tub’s drain in the next second. Hands drag her long navy hair away from her face as she dry heaves with her whole back curling with the effort. A gulp of air wracks her before she rests her head against the cool tile, even as her headache pounds with every beat of her heart. “I’m good.” She gasps, sagging down and curling into a more comfortable position, nausea sharp in her stomach even if the soft patter of water alleviates some of the tension across her body. 

The familiar snapping of a top twisting open reverberates in the small bathroom as a plastic bottle is pressed into her grip.  

“You’re amazing,” Camy groans, blindly sipping the electrolyte filled drink. She knows immediately she needs to stop after just a couple of sips.

“You know it,” Jazzy says gently. “I’m kinda feeling nostalgic, actually. It’s been a hot second since we’ve done these, like, frat party recovery sleepovers,” she teases gently, placing the bottle on the corner of the tub so it won’t have too much water in it from the shower.  

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” she replies around the pounding in her head. “Though look at you, being the responsible one and not being here in the tub with me. Guess I owe Chris something for stealing you last night.” Peeking an eye open she dares a shaky smile as she draws herself up straight with even shakier arms. Jazzy watches her closely, just in case she might slip or collapse or something. Even if she wants to tell her she’s worrying over nothing, they’ve both been fucked up with each other during college. So she’ll hold onto her conclusions and be thankful for the safety net. 

“Designated driver, Camy-baby. I got you and don’t worry about him.” And Camy feels some hair getting drawn out of her face. “By the way, no need for any damage control. Or, well, at least from you. Not sure who Rowan went off with. But! Your phone’s been blowing up, and we got a ton of good feedback on our Insta after yesterday. You were on fire, girl, and I’m glad you got to let loose.” 

Is that what I was doing? Sure, partying now is part of her work, and Jazzy’s summary does put some part of her mind that isn’t screaming at her, at ease. But she can admit to herself she might have gone a bit overboard… 

“‘Kay, good,” she groans. Reaching out, Jazzy puts the bottle back in her hand before she gets it herself. As she sips from her bottle and lets the warm shower rain over her face, she thinks she’s slowly feeling better. “And maybe once I get over this hangover I’ll agree that partying as hard as I did was a good idea.” She dares a smile because she doesn’t dare trying to laugh along with Jazzy, yet. “I’m better. I’m good. Go check on the others.”

“All right. Love ya,” Jazzy says as she gets to her feet as Camy hums affirmatively in response. “Want help putting your face on later?” 

“No. We’re not performing and I did enough work last night. I’m just a civilian today,” she smiles a little more pointedly and Jazzy backs off. 

Camy manages to hold on until the hotel door closes before she turns and barfs her guts out. 

-

An hour later and she’s found herself in the full length mirror, showered and dried, in clean, dry clothes, glaring at what she sees. 

When Seven ripped the rug out from under her with his move – showing up after a month of radio silence to being caught with boxes of his things stacked near the front door – he left three things behind: his favorite, red, “7” guitar pick because it was under the cushion of a chair he didn’t take; the hoodie he’s had since he was 16 because it got lost between drawers, and; his leather jacket she was wearing as she walked through the door and fought for what would be their last time. She brought the hoodie with her on this trip because it was still the most comfortable thing she owned. Once three, now two, sizes bigger on Seven, she used to be able to curl her legs into her chest and drag it over her whole body to nap on the bus with it. Now it hangs off her, covering her fingertips and nearly covering up the rips and embroidery on the thighs and knees of her jeans. Pair it with her old, trashed, sneakers and completely fresh face, and she looks exactly like she did when she was 17. 

Her hair is longer now, and, well, blue, instead of brown, but can she even say she changed that much? Seven years later and it still feels like she’s waiting to grow up, to work off the shine of adolescence and be beautiful, to find some sign of being different from who she used to be. Maybe she’s even looking for a scar, a sign in her eyes that would tell people she’s different, she’s more mature, she’s irrevocably broken, she’s hanging on by digging her nails and teeth into the things that used to come so easy to her.

What does survivor’s guilt look like on a person?  

Whatever it is, she doesn’t find it. There’s nothing there. Just miserable Little Camila staring back at her. 

She ducks away from her reflection before it has time to judge her, putting on a cap and the hood over the top of it. 

…Maybe her cheekbones are a little more pronounced. 

-

It’s not long until she’s back at the music festival. The whole event is set up as a couple of stages at the back of a massive grass lot, to get to it the fans have to pass through a lane full of tents with merch from bands and food. At the mouth of it is a decorated arch with ticket booths and security and it is still so cool that she can flash her badge saying Talent and just – get into places like this now. Looking back at the lines and, even with her hazy mind, she can manage to appreciate how her band is slowly going from being the people in the lines, to the ones they’re paying to see. 

She tucks her badge back underneath her hoodie and sips from the sports drink she bought from a vending machine as she shuffles further in. Dressed down like she is people just pass by her like she’s invisible, which she gets. She’s dressed like she’s in high school, it makes sense that people treat her like she’s back in high school too. At least she’s free to catch up on social media and the hot mess of a group chat with her band trying to coordinate a meet up. Collecting the clues of what happened last night through photos and messages, following up on some texts, and reaching out to others, she makes her way to where they’re all meeting up as music starts filtering through the air. 

“I’m telling you guys, I think I’m in love,” she catches Rowan’s voice first as she finds them standing around, looking way more the part of musicians, or at least attending a show than she is; especially Rowan who’s still in last night’s clothes. “He was just so- oh, shit, Camy. It’s that kind of morning, huh?” His laugh rattles in her brain as the rest of the band regards her with a spectrum of wary surprise to clear amusement. Flicking her arms out to get her hands out of the sleeves, she grins brightly as she flips them the double birds. 

“Fuck off, I did my time. I’ve earned the right to be comfy today and chill.” She says lightly as she gives him a side-hug to a chorus of light laughter and smiles. She goes around to the others, murmuring ‘morning’ and giving half-hugs and casual greeting kisses to the air beside their cheeks. 

“Aw, I’m going to miss my mosh-pit buddy today,” Jazzy chirps in. Chris emerges behind his girlfriend and hands Camy the final coffee in a four-cup cup holder. She exchanges it for a cheek kiss with a quick thanks, and she gestures to him. 

“Isn’t that what he’s for?” She smiles with a wink as Chris settles a strong hand on Jazzy’s shoulder. 

“It’d be an honor to be in the crowd with you, babe,” he vows down to Jazzy, managing to keep a straight face even as Camy and Rowan snort and Iris shakes her head a little. 

“I wouldn’t have anyone else be my back-up.” She purses her lips together and makes kissy noises at him as she leans in, and of course he plays into it, pursing his lips too and humming until they lean in for just a quick pop of a kiss and a mwah! The rest of them roll their eyes and groans at the display. 

“You guys are ridiculous,” Iris teases around her smile. 

“But still very cute,” Devyn supplies as they look to Iris expectedly. “Maybe we should be more -”

“Absolutely not,” Iris cuts them off as Devyn just laughs gently, snaking her arm around Iris’ as they lean against her affectionately. 

“Gross. We’re honestly so strong dealing with these couples, am I right?” Rowan shoots to Camy with a grin but then stalls out. There’s a flash of alarm and panic as he scans over just what she’s wearing again and all the implication that comes of it. His grin turns brittle and, just for a moment, she lets him stew in it, staring at him flatly. 

“For real.” She smiles back brilliantly after a beat. “If I didn’t think I was sick before, I might be now.” She shrugs her shoulders dramatically, marking the motion of heaving before they all dissolve into a lighter mood and she drinks from the lukewarm coffee. “But, might not be the case anymore because you’re in love? Again?” She narrows her eyes at her prompting.

“Oh! Phew, yeah! Listen, it was magic, okay? Like, he was so cool and when he-” Rowan started again. 

“Oh my god!” A stranger’s voice cuts him off as he groans. All of them turn to regard a group of three people. A young man in a mesh shirt, black shorts and spiked platform boots, the source of the interruption, leads his other two friends who are also decked out in black, studs, and belts over to them. “You’re Chaos Anthem!” 

Camy squeezes her eyes closed as she subtly steps back. Dammit, that’s right. No such thing as downtime anymore, is there? Not when they are actually getting recognized more and more often. They all glance to her quickly before Iris steps forward with a confident smile. 

“That’s right,” and even though she’s opening her mouth to say more, Boots cuts her off with a gasp. 

“I saw your set yesterday-”

“We saw your set yesterday!” One of his friends cuts in, a girl in a short, tight dress that looks like it could double as lingerie. “So awesome.”

“I love the new album!” The third cuts in, the three of them getting closer and slowly crowding Camy out. The band all look between the fans and Camy with alarm as she just smiles wider and wider, trying and failing to hide her amusement. What the fuck is happening?

“Yeah! We all bought it and love the new, harder, sound.” Boots says straight to the others as Camy’s attention flits between the praise of these simultaneously very kind and very dense fans, and Devyn staring at her with alarm as they continue. “Rosa sounds so good-” and she nearly chokes on her spit, “-and you guys are killing it!” Her eyes widen as she stares openly at the back of these fans heads now that they have effectively separated her off. Her thanks is on the tip of her tongue before she bites back a laugh at how they continue. Devyn is about to say something but she quickly shakes her head. This is just too good.

“It’s so awesome and so impressive that you all have that ability to just nail it across genres!” Dress says once more before Boots whips out his cell. The band barely has time to get their thanks across before they continue with their praise and Boots shoves his phone at her. 

“Can you take a picture of us and Chaos Anthem?” As Chris pulls away to get out of the shot he’s the one who breaks first and laughs aloud. She stares openly for a moment, first at the phone then at Boots, before she manages to get the phone into a better grip. 

Turning her back she tries to at least set up the selfie to include her. They wanted the whole band, right? It’d be a dick move to not include herself even if they don’t know. Rowan nods along with the silent decision, throwing his arms around Boots and Dress, as she somehow manages a smile. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” Dress cuts in and Camy whips around to the remark, wide-eyed. “Just us! Did I say you, too? Be fucking normal, rando.” And Camy almost loses it, Iris has to duck to the side with the effort to hide her laugh, covering her mouth with the back of her hand. 

“Sorry,” Camy manages, lowering her voice as her band all have to hold themselves back now. She set up the shot properly and takes a picture of just them and the band. “Got a few, here.” She hands the phone back and it’s snatched from her hand, the three of them turning their backs on her once again.

“Thanks,” Boots says at least. “It was so great to see you guys! Can’t wait until your next shows! And maybe we’ll be able to catch Rosa - I mean, Camy - then.” With a timber of pride in his tone because he knows her real name. “She’s such an inspiration.” From her place behind them she mimes dramatically ‘such an inspiration.’ Jazzy grins as she tries to signal her to reveal herself but she just shakes her head.

“Yeah, maybe,”  Rowan grins at her over their shoulders. “Appreciate the support! You guys are great.” The three of them turn over their shoulder to glance at Camy one more time as she takes a long drink from her coffee. With the cup obscuring even more of her face and her hoodie hiding any kind of shape of her, she doesn’t even blame them as the fans say their goodbyes without another thought. Though she does catch a weird look from them after they leave, most likely as to why some rando is still hanging around the band. 

They all wait until their gone before bursting out laughing. It makes her wince, the added effort of laughing aggravates what remains of her hangover as she recovers the quickest. 

“I can’t believe that just happened,” Devyn giggles still. Jazzy tapers off her laughter breathlessly, touching up her eyeliner so her tears won’t mess it up. 

“I feel like a fucking superhero with a secret identity,” Camy grins wickedly even though she clutches onto what remains of her coffee for dear life. Hangovers suck so bad. 

“How did they not know?” Rowan gapes as he shakes his head. “Like, who else could you be?”

“Just another fan trying to get your guys’ attention obviously. If they’re only used to seeing me perform,” she shrugs a shoulder. “I’m pretty sure I could not look more opposite right now to that if I tried.”

“Don’t they know that makeup makes you shapeshift?” Iris rolls her eyes with a smirk. 

“You’re joking but-” Rowan starts.

“Quit while you’re behind,” Iris is quick on it as Rowan throws up his hands to another round of chuckles. 

“We should post something like, posing with our number one fan,” Jazzy says with a grin though Camy just shakes her head. 

“Maybe some other time. It does have me thinking that we can start posting less like, official stuff, and more us hanging out? Makes us seem more approachable, maybe doing some QnA streams? Adding what we do in our downtime together, rather than just keeping that to our personals,” she suggests as the rest of her band give various noises or gestures of agreement. 

As they begin to wander toward a performance and Rowan finally continues his story about the newest love of his life, Camy removes the hat and hood to fix her very distinct hair. There’s an immediate no fucking WAY! from somewhere behind them and everyone shares a laugh before she fixes her “disguise” back in place. She gets ready for a rare day off, listening to their peers and colleagues, and soaking in any inspiration she can squeeze from the event. It’s been a while since she felt hopeful, but hopefully this is a sign of better things to come. 

[snowangeldotmp3]

mean girls (2024)

fine. FINE. it is time to discuss mean girls (2024) bc i can't stop thinking about it and i had a severe mean girls the musical phase in 2018 and 2020 two separate times. and also i took notes watching the movie last night. so now you are all subject to hearing them. spoilers, obvi. (under the cut, of course)

i think it should be noted here that i also have Thoughts and Feelings on the bway musical. so if anyone wants to know those... moving on.

it's a movie-musical adapted from the stage musical adapted from the 2004 movie adapted from a BOOK called Queen Bees and Wannabes released in 2002. now that that's out of the way:

the good:

the sets are so much fun in the movie. the musical is like. a few desks and tables and a bed that all move and then. screens. i missed real sets. so much

opening the musical with janis and damien recording the video in the garage and having their narration work like that worked sooooo well. and then of course ending in the garage was very fun.

speaking of janis and damien, these are my favorite versions of janis and damien. auli'i and jaquel KILL IT as janis and damien.

angourie's cady (acting-wise) is really good. really cute and naïve and it feels authentic as a transition from new kid cady to plastic cady.

i also don't mind the changes to apex predator. i think auli'i and jaquel killed it and i think it works! i like the choreo too where everyone is acting animalistic (re: this is Girl World in the og movie) except regina.

avantika and bebe wood are also really great as gretchen and karen. this might be my favorite version of karen. ily karen shetty.

LOVE this version of someone gets hurt. i love regina controlling the atmospehere around her and literally becoming the apex predator. the partygoers don't move unless she allows it, and even planning cady's reaction (which is. gayer than expected) is so good.

CONTROVERSIAL TAKE? i prefer the story behind the pyro-lez thing. i never liked the space dyke story in the musical and i thought it was weird (though i prefer them calling her a space dyke because it's supposed to be mean. ya know)

im saving this for this bullet point bc every other bullet point would've been about but i've been a fan of renee's regina for forever now, so being able to see it outside of broadway and outside of shaky bootlegs is a blessing.

after regina eats shit at the talent show, during the social media montage, you can briefly hear the intrumental version of world burn, and i think thats cool.

SOMEONE GETS HURT (REPRISE) you will always be famous. i am so sorry they didn't put you on the soundtrack

damien on the jazzy will forever be funny. it's better than the og movie. i will stand by this.

also the background/looming beat of world burn like a second after janis gets done singing + the looming threat of regina's revenge is very cool.

OH world burn is very awesome in this bc. duh. of course it is. but what really stands out to me is that it's like apex predator again where everyone is acting like animals and reginas above it all (bc she did this lmao). another thing is the transition between one of the high notes to regina fake crying in mr duvalls office. that was so slay.

the reginald joke is my fave in the whole musical and im so glad they kept it. it makes me giggle every time.

canon lesbian janis imi'ike i love you.

the bad:

i miss all of the songs. give me back It Roars, Where Do You Belong, the entirety of Meet the Plastics, the What's Wrong with Me reprise, FEARLESS! and Whose House is This, More is Better, and Do This Thing!! GIVE THEM BACK TO ME!!! PLEASE!!! OH my god and Stop. jaquel would've blown this out of the water i just know it.

i miss the jokes about mrs george and her boob job. that shit was hilarious.

i don't care for cady's pov in revenge party in this one. those who have seen it Know.

i also miss the "NO! THEY'RE BOTH IN THE COSTUME!" that shit killed me. absolutely hilarious.

the musical (bway edition) actually did cut some of the iconic scenes from the movie, but i think this movie would've benefitted from adding them back in. give me the "we should totally just stab caesar!" line.

i hate Rockin Around The Pole. so fucking much. i hate it in the broadway version and i hated it in this. i hate this song so fucking much.

chris briney. that's all. he's got about as much personality as a wet piece of paper. get a different aaron.

even the broadway musical is like, actually mean. it still pales in comparison to the og movie. this movie could have done a little more to stand out from the actual musical and the og movie. idk. it could've said something. but if you walked into this movie and expected it to say something then that's on you. sorry.

this isn't something that needs to be categorized but i miss cady's inner monologue. it's very obvious in the movie but she's even got these cute little asides in the musical that i WISH they would've kept. like: "it seems kinda bad to spy on someone, but they're the first friends i've got, and i don't want to have none." is so much fun and gives cady so much character and i love it so much. erika henningsen is my favorite variation of cady. she's believable as both nerdy cady and plastic cady. also she's so, so funny. (honestly i think they should've brought her back for cady's songs in this musical. sawry. i don't think they should've replaced angourie bc i really like her cady But.)

another cute and quirky thing that i like from the musical that isn't in the movie (because it would be really hard to pull off) is that mrs heron/mrs george/mrs norbury are all played by the same actress.

anyway that's all i have to say about mean girls (2024). in my (completely unprofessional) opinion, they should've literally just adapted the actual musical script if they wanted to make this so bad. or released a pro-shot with renee as regina and this cast or something. they should've gone all out campy musical with this one instead of trying to market it as a remake bc it's not Really a remake. like it Is but it's Not.

if u read this whole thing thank you. if you saw this post and went "jesus christ" im sorry. i wish i could stop thinking about it, too.