#like i dont think i can do anything bc the pharmacy would be like sorry we mailed it dont know what to tell you and the post office

[bunnyb34r]

God I hope my fucking meds get here today I stg

[inekepp]

WOULD LOVE ANYTHING YOU COULD TELL ME ABOUT THE PHARMACY WIP FRIEND :') <3

Hii!

Okay, so. Pharmacy AU basically comes down to Alex working as a pharm tech in a 24/7 pharmacy (another reason why his sleeping schedule is shot to all hell, bc, yknow, eves, nights, the lot), and Henry is coming in to pick up meds for Arthur, who still suffers from cancer in this fic and all that. Henry keeps on getting Alex as the one who helps him (either bc coincedence, or luck, or timing, or however you want to call it, though i think i put a reference or two in that he did hit other coworkers of alex too, as to make it a tad more realistic). Alex, being quite experienced at this point, immediately clocks as to what Arthur is suffering from (in broad lines, anyway. beyond 'cancer' he ain't getting much further) and in the beginning he holds out hope, but that diminishes as soon as he sees that it's been quite a bit since Arthur got meds for chemo, and what Henry is coming to pick up (which, basically, is painkillers).

eventually, which is what i've yet to write, henry is going to come in to pick up meds like morphine and midazolam bc of palliative care (which, as the midazolam suggests, means hallucinating/possible aggression and the likes bc delirium), and then has to come back because the midazolam isn't doing the trick.

i was also v much planning on henry coming in at some point where alex is on the phone w his boss who tried to contact a coworker but failed (dunno if said coworker is hunter but yknow might as well be haha. but like, failing could happen bc travel or whatnot i dont think it matters much). so here alex is, saying to his boss that hed pass on the message when coworker gets in, but just says 'he' instead of coworker, cue henry panicking bc he thinks it mightve been fam trying to contact him about arthur, and, well.. yeah.

im not being nice to henry here, im sorry.

anyway, alex is v much crushing, but like, cant do much about it aside from helping henry as fast as he can and make it as pleasant as such a visit could be, bc p r o f e s s i o n a l i s m, (which he prob v well throws out the window w panic attack bc, well, he cant henry suffer alone can he?).

and in the last chapter, which is gon be x time after alex saw henry at the hospital last, is basically going to be them running into one another somewhere (idk, coffeeshop? library? somewhere. havent figured that out yet) and get to talking and maybe possibly set up a date (also bc henryd be thanking him in person for all hes done, and henry being henry had send a massive mail to the boss at some point complimenting alex for all his help and care and bc he deserved to get the praise. alex v much would want to thank him for that bc boss (zahra prob) having been like dunno what youve done but good work, and just, getting praise, esp in healthcare, be rare as fuck, so yknow. its something big.

im also hella drawing on my own experiences as a pharm tech, and i do have a load of quiet eve shifts, so, lie, its not unheard of, and while i do not state in which country they are bc i cant be arsed to look up laws and practises and shit like insurance shit bc its irritating and complex enough where im from and im the person who deals w insurances in the first place, i guess its all universal enough (and i did google if midazolam and all that were still like used the same in other countries, bc availability in meds and whas used can differ from country to country).

does that answer it? if not, feel free to clarify!

[qingxinis]

time stop - hu tao x gn reader

hELLO!! im sorry i didnt really post anything here, ive been busy T-T anyways, theres a big lack of hu tao in this community, maybe its bc she was just released eheheh im finally a hu tao haver!! i hope yall get lucky with the pulls as well, hu tao is so cool…. anyways, i hope yall like this, im super uncreative with titles tbh 😭😭 and also, dont be afraid to request me!! i had a huge art block until today,,, then i read hu tao’s story and i was like I NEED TO WRITE SOMETHING

warnings: near death experience ig? but that’s it

word count: 720 

soulmate au; where time stops for a few seconds when you first touch your soulmate. 

gathering herbs was never an easy task, but it was necessary.

as a healer and a bubu pharmacy employee, it was quite normal. it came with the job, after all. so, here you were, walking around in the eerie abandoned village in wuwang hill. although it was daytime, the fog and darkness in the region made it hard to see things from a distance, making you walk around helplessly as you looked for some violetgrass. 

you didn’t particularly liked being here, but it was your job. the mysterious atmosphere made you quite scared, especially as you were completely alone, since qiqi went to mingyun village to gather her share of herbs. maybe if i had a soulmate, they could come with me, you thought. soulmates existed, but they weren’t quite that usual. maybe one in a hundred people had soulmates, at least in liyue. 

they said time stopped when you first touched your soulmate, quite literally. and that’s how you knew someone was your soulmate — you just had to touch them.

just thinking about it made your heart flutter. having a soulmate who could help you when you’re scared seemed like a good deal. this hill was scary, and the feeling of not being able to see things properly made you anxious. if anything were to appear, like a hilichurl, you knew it would be hard to defeat it. you were a healer, not a fighter. it simply wasn’t really something you liked or enjoyed, so you didn’t really try to learn anything beyond the basics.

you suddenly hear a noise, snapping you out of your thoughts. it was something moving in the grass, but it was too foggy for you to identify what it was. there was something nearby, and you knew it. you looked around, finally spotting a silhouette.

as you reached for your weapon, the silhouette disappeared. the next thing you knew, you were on the ground. 

you opened your eyes, whining in pain. now that it was closer to you, you could see it was a cryo whopperflower. you turned your head in fear and looked for your weapon, but it had been knocked out of your belt and was now laying on the ground, far away from you. even if you managed to get your weapon, it wouldn’t be of much use, since your hand and ankle hurt a lot from the fall.

as the whopperflower prepared itself for its next attack, you closed your eyes. is that it? you thought, the sudden realization hitting you. is this how i die?

suddenly, a warm breeze meets your skin. after a few seconds, you open your eyes, only to see the cryo whopperflower on the ground, defeated. you look around, finding a girl with brown hair with red tips.

she turned around to look at your frightened self, giving you a smile. she wore a hat with a symbol you knew you had seen before, and, as you digged through your mind to find out what it was, realization hit you. she was the director of the wangsheng funeral parlor, hu tao, as the hat indicated. you had heard of her, mostly from baizhu, who seemed to be always annoyed at the director’s persistence to give qiqi her final rest, but you had never really met her. 

“hey there! what were you doing wandering around wuwang hill? it can be quite the dangerous place, you know…” hu tao stopped her sentence, looking at your injured hand. 

she walked towards you, and then lowered herself, as if to check the injury.

“t-there’s no need to check, i’m a healer, i can just-” you said, holding your injured hand with your other hand, but stopped suddenly as she touched you.

a weird feeling made its way to your heart, and the wind seemed to stop blowing. hu tao felt that too, as you both looked around, only to find that everything was frozen in place. the grass, the leaves of the trees, even the animals in the area. you looked at hu tao, and she looked at you, both with widened eyes. 

and, as you looked into her crimson eyes, time seemed to be back to normal, just as fast as it froze. yet, you couldn’t notice a thing. 

you could only stare in surprise as she smiled softly.

“i’ve been waiting for you.”

[loveylangdon]

If You Don’t I Will

Word count: 3.3k

JJ Maybank x Reader : showing jj subtle ways of how you care for him and John B is tired of him not seeing it

A/N: I wrote another JJ thing bc im a simp and I love him and this was also another idea thats been floating around. Fluff is you squint but you dont need to squint hard, next will def be angst bc I live for it Xx

 masterlist

*not my gif full credit to owner*

“Hey” you let out as you carry 2 bags of groceries into the cheateu seeing the boys lounging on the couch gathered around John B’s phone you hear a chorus of “hey’s” as you move towards the kitchen. John B looks up and hands his phone to JJ making his way out the front door sending you a wink. Rolling your eyes you follow John B outside to your car. 

“You didn’t have to,” John B says smiling at you grabbing a grocery bag from your trunk shooting you a look 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about” you smile innocently to him and make your way over to grab the last grocery bag. You reach past John B until you feel his arm wrap over your shoulder, putting his grocery bag down he wraps his other arm around your shoulder engulfing you in a full hug laying his cheek at the top of your head. You wrap your arms around his torso and give him a squeeze 

“Thank you really” he lets out into your hair. You just give him a hug, you haven’t known them for long but John B automatically became like your brother and JJ was definitely your confidant. When you heard about Big John and Uncle T leaving John B by himself, your heart broke. John B had to support himself and apparently JJ was a constant resident in the chateau and it got harder to support themselves even if they both pitched in. When you found out always being smart with your money you set some aside to help supply the chateau so the boys wouldn’t starve.

JJ broke down one night during a late night smoke sesh you two had to get away from everything. He ended up telling you about his dad and mom in its entirety. After that you guys were kind of inseparable.You told him about why you had to move to OBX and he told you where his bruises and split knuckles came from. You never would’ve guessed one of the most caring people you knew would have to go through that. After that you subtly did more little things that hopefully made it easier on him. 

When you joined the Pogues you fell for his blue eyes and wild personality instantly his careless but protective nature made you fall hard but there was the rule. No Pogue on Pogue macking. Still fairly new to obx barely being here for a year you didn’t know how real the rule was. Being extra nice to JJ consisted of bringing extra of his favorite beer or asking him to buy you joints even though you didn’t smoke often, you would let him keep them, noticing his favorite snacks and bringing them on boat trips. Kie gladly gave up the title of caretaker and let you take over the snacks and picnics for day trips. After JJ told you his secret he made it clear that he didn’t take pity or handouts, you didn’t pity JJ you loved him and just wanted to make sure he knew it. 

So you helped JJ whenever you could making it seem like you were doing it by pure coincidence, knowing that he lived with John B you helped out the house, in general, to make it less obvious. Claiming you all spent so much time there any way it wasn’t fair to not help stock the necessities. 

Breaking away from your thoughts “I’m here for you guys always” you squeeze John B once more after you feel him loosening his grip “Let’s go I got ice cream” as John B fist bumps you snort “Oh I also got a better first aid kit” handing John B the second bag you move to the passenger side of the car. Hearing John B go back into the house you grab the first aid kit and hear footsteps as you open the back seat door to grab blankets. 

“What are the blankets for,” JJ asks questionably moving over to you to help grab some and you see him eye the first aid kit before you tuck it into a blanket

“For movie night. You can’t have a horror movie night without tons of blankets JJ it’s like against the rules” You quickly come up with the excuse. In all honesty it was starting to get colder and knowing the Chateau has minimal heating capacity you were going to accidentally leave them in the house and let the boys use them. The last time you were here late you asked JJ to borrow a sweater or a blanket and he gave you the one he was wearing and soon realized it was probably the only one you’ve seen him wear ever. Noticing Kie always brought her own blanket you assumed they were more supplied for the warmer days. John B was a big boy he would ask for help when he needed it JJ, on the other hand, was stubborn as hell and would rather freeze then ask for anything to help. 

“Okay” JJ says questionably not believing you entirely but not questioning it further “Are you staying tonight?” He asks you can see a glimmer of hope in his ocean eyes as he leans against the car door

“Yeah I think so” you smile and nod at him closing the car up “Are you?”

“No I’m just asking you so you can share my bed with Kie” he deadpans and your cheeks flush 

“Sorry” you squint up at him and you see him smile his “sharky smile” “Are Pope and Kie staying too?” 

“I think so” he nods at you biting his lip and you know he wants to add something but doesn’t

“Can I share a bed with you?” You ask assuming that’s what he wanted to ask “if I have to share a room with both Pope and Kie I might jump off the end of the dock, plus I got those joints still and extra snacks” you chuckle out trying to bribe him like you even have to. You see relief and a cute smile grace his features and you know that’s what he was trying to ask without even asking 

“Yeah you can crash with me, I like you the most anyways” he winks at you and nods towards the house “Have you eaten yet?” He asks you softly as you walk up the driveway “Pope and John B went to help Heyward earlier while I went to work and apparently they ate already” JJ trails off and you frown knowing there hasn’t been food at the chateau in a couple of days and John B has been incognito

“I can make us food,” you say and he perks up “I haven’t eaten yet” you continue which is a lie but he doesn’t need to know that “I bought stuff to make that shrimp thing you were talking about the other day” and you see his face light up as you walk into the house you smile at him and you can see pink dust his cheeks at the fact you remembered that small detail. He puts the blankets down taking the ones in your hands as well and wraps you in a hug carrying you to the kitchen leaving you in a fit of laughter. You see Pope peek his head out over the freezer with raised eyebrows 

“What are you doing,” he asks confused as to why you’re wrapped in JJs arms 

“Get out Pope y/n is making our food” he throws a look at Pope as he sets you down making Pope return a hurt one 

“You guys suck” he huffs out going back into the living room 

JJ sits on the counter as you start to pull out ingredients to make his food, John B put the groceries away thankfully and you hum to a random tune 

“Thank you” JJ lets out in almost a whisper and you look up at him and see he’s playing with the rings on his fingers a nervous habit he has while looking at his lap not making eye contact 

“For what” you feign innocence even though his small thank you made your heart flutter knowing your efforts and little signs of affection didn’t go unnoticed by the blonde boy. Moving to the stove to heat it up JJ finally looks at you and he shrugs his shoulders softly before twiddling his thumbs in his lap

“For taking the time to care about me” he shrugs again like he’s not worth the effort, you go to say something and he cuts you off looking at you with his ocean eyes making you forget how to breathe for a second, sincerity is swimming through them and you can’t help the butterflies in your stomach “I know you had dinner with Kie already. She told me you guys were gonna eat at The Wreck during her break if I wanted to pass by before you went to run errands which I’m assuming was getting food for here” your face flushes at being caught lying about dinner “I also saw the first aid kit you bought, and Its a nice one. I almost stole one just like it from the pharmacy a while back and I know John B doesn’t need one that good” he goes back to looking at his thumbs “And I know the blankets aren’t just for the movie night” He shoots you a knowing look causing you to blush and smile at him, taking a moment in the comforting silence you assume the boys are outside messing around 

Humming you smile giddily not confirming or denying “Okay I’m gonna make you food now go away” you joke shooing him out of the kitchen 

He gasps in shock “You wound me” he clutches his chest with both his hands and falls back against the cabinets “Treating me how I treat Pope now that’s cold” He gets off of the counter still clutching his chest moving closer towards you 

“Leave” you squeal at him as he traps you in between his arms and the sink, he leans in and you think he’s going to finally kiss you, heart beating so fast you think he could hear it if he got any closer. His eyes flicker to your lips and back to your eyes as he licks his lips your breath hitches in your throat, he leans down to place a kiss on your cheek leaving the kitchen and going outside. Watching him retreat you finally let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in. “Jesus Christ” you huff and go back to making his food with a big smile on your face 

____

“Holy shit” JJ practically moans at the smell coming in from the kitchen “I can’t even think of the last home cooked meal I’ve had what about you John B” You hear JJ ask as him as they walk back into the Chateau,

“Uh I think-” John B starts but is cut off by JJ 

“That was rhetorical bro shut up” you hear them walk into the living room and see them come into the kitchen “we know you have a secret kook family chill” JJ lets out referring to the fact that John B disappears some nights and during the day and no one knows why. Causing a laugh to come from you and a scoff from John B

“That smells delicious y/n” John B lets out which earns a mean look from JJ 

“You can’t have any” JJ says defensively “she made it for me and her you guys are all traitors eating without us” JJ winks at you “what happened to Pogues together for life” JJ adds pointing a finger at John B as you try to stifle a laugh grabbing plates 

John B looks at JJ with the most unamused look you’ve ever seen which causes a burst of laughter from you. Catching John B’s attention he gives you a look as if asking if JJ is serious, you shrug your shoulders as John B scoffs “I welcome you into my home JJ and this is how you repay me” He tsks opening a beer for you and placing it on the counter by your plates, he gives you a side hug and places a kiss on your forehead before retreating outside to help Pope and Kie with a projector she found in her garage. As he walks through the living room you hear “Eat your food dumbass, and if you don’t marry her I will” John B shouts out and you immediately turn to look at John B who has his beer raised in the air “Salud” and he walks out of the Cheateu. 

Turning to JJ his face is beat red and you let out a small laugh as JJ groans mumbling something about murdering John B “Here eat tough guy I’m gonna grab blankets for outside” you say as you place a plate in front of JJ. You’re about to walk into John B’s room when you feel JJ grab your hand 

“Stay please” he lets out a smile while tugging on your wrist gently patting the spot next to him, you can tell he wants to say something again but you can’t tell what its gonna be because he’s looking down at his plate of food. Your foot starts tapping the floor a nervous tick you have when you can’t tell how something is gonna play out. His head snaps to your knee placing his hand there gently to stop it and he looks up at you “Don’t do that, not around me” he lets out looking at you 

“wha-”

“You do that when your nervous or unsure of a situation” he squeezes your knee in a comforting motion giving you a small smile at your confused expression, “You think you’re the only one who notices things around here” he shoots you a look and his eyes go wide trying to cover up his confession with a chuckle 

“Do you JJ Maybank have feelings for little old me” you shoot him an amused look with a gasp. He opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out and he looks at you sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck while pink tints his cheeks 

“Hey, Lovebirds we got the movie set up come on” you hear John B yell from outside. You move to get up and JJ stops you looking up at you with a look of concentration before he exhales

“I like you y/n a lot actually and it’s scaring me. I’m not gonna lie to you. I’m not used to this or feeling wanted, hell even wanting to be around one person constantly is new for me. You are this incredible person who came out of fucking nowhere and the first thing you did was make sure everyone is taken care of. I didn’t even notice what you would do for me at first because I was so angry at everything. John B pointed it out to me when we found more of my favorite snacks in the cupboard than his” he let out a chuckle and you did too “He told me to stop being stupid and I realized then all the small things you would do for me like when I wouldn’t eat with you guys you brought food, or extra snacks on boat trips when you knew I was going home after, you and Kie would go shopping and you literally got me a hoodie because you told me it reminded you of me. No one has cared about me in the way you have and I’m so sorry for not realizing it sooner” you squeeze his hand gently reassuring him noticing his voice waiver “you’re so strong and stubborn but god if it didn’t make me fall for you harder, and I wasn’t gonna say anything because there is no way in hell that I’m good enough for you, I mean seriously I don’t know what you see-” cutting him off you place a kiss to his lips to shut him up, he places his hand on the side of your neck holding your jaw melting into the kiss. This is what heaven feels like you think. This blonde haired blue eyed prince. JJ breaks apart and rests his forehead against yours smiling like an idiot 

“I like you a lot actually too, if you couldn’t tell” you whisper out causing him to let out a laugh placing a chaste kiss to your lips, pulling you into his lap, your back to his chest as he nuzzles into the crook of your neck before you move to face him “Oh” you let out and he looks confused, you shoot him a look and he smirks. Hitting his chest playfully “get your head out of the gutter” 

“I know exactly where I would like my head to be” he smirks placing a kiss to your pulse. Rolling your eyes at him you start off “If I hear you talk bad about yourself I will fight you Maybank do you hear me” you look at him knowingly and he raised his eyebrows as if telling you to proceed “That is a fight you will lose every time. I can promise you,” you look at him softly “you deserve the world and all the love that comes with it, you care so much about your friends you’re willing to do anything to protect them literally anything” emphasizing the literally he lets out a chuckle “You are so kind, generous always giving even when you don’t have much yourself that’s what I love about you. There is more good than what you define yourself as and if you have doubts I will be more than glad to fight them with you” you let out rubbing your thumb on his cheek which he nuzzles into until he crashes his lips into yours again. 

“I thought you were eating, you haven’t even started are you kidding? YOU GUYS ARE MACKING we’ve been waiting for like 10 minutes” John B lets out from the doorway of the house raising his arms in a what the fuck motion, causing you both to laugh “J I’m proud of you for finally telling her, but Jesus come on guys the foods all cold, we don’t even have snacks because you’re distracting y/n, we’re dying out here” he fake whines 

“Sorry John B” you let out a smile knowing you usually prepare the snacks for movie nights but got distracted

“My girlfriend is not your Slave John B get your own snacks” JJ jokes holding onto you tighter

“Says the guy she made dinner for but hasn’t even touched it yet!” John B says dramatically “honestly the disrespect happening in this house, everything is all out of wack,” John B says going to the fridge and grabbing a case of beer and candy making his way back outside before he turns around heading back to you and JJ “Actually,” he says out loud before taking JJ’s plate with food taking a bite and moaning at the taste John B continues “I’m serious y/n if he doesn’t marry you I will” he gets out with a mouth full of food, moving slightly to avoid JJ arms that are trying to swat him for taking his food. John B walks out of the house leaving you two alone again 

“I’ll get you another plate, grab the blankets?” you ask chuckling as you move to get JJ another plate of food but he stops you. 

Taking his pinky ring off his finger he places it on your fingers trying to find the best fit, finally, it fits on your middle finger, a little loose but not by much, he chuckles “maybe I’ll get you a chain for it” he states chuckling he kisses your knuckles when he’s done “Not an engagement ring but a temporary promise ring until we get you a real one so John B can stop trying to steal you from me.”

“I think its perfect” He smiles bright placing a kiss on your lips and you know that this is exactly where you’re supposed to be

________

A/N: so I wrote another jj thing bc who is not a whore for jj especially soft jj. Roughly edited but not really, this has been floating in my head for a while so feedback and commentary is again always welcome my inbox is always open I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did Xx 

[socialistsooner420]

ok i gotta slow down

i accidentally overmedicated myself with my focalin. not too much, dont worry, im not even prescribed a proper amount for an adult (which is a whole other can of worms i'll get into) and i only took one extra. ive done way more uppers than this, ill be ok i just need to do a little ramble here so i can slow down and vent

i took an extra bc i panicked and just felt overwhelmed by the amount of chores n shit i needed to catch up on from not having meds the past two weeks and living in a literal garbage pile

my psych wont up my dosage because she thinks its illegal?? but like... im on the lowest dosage possible, twice a day, instant release. i've been on it for over a year, and she can absolutely up the dosage. i used to have extended release prescription (god i miss those so much but i couldnt afford $165 a month plus my other meds ugh) and just one was 2 times stronger than the current dosage of my instant releases. so?????? why the fuck

all yall ppl who say "be honest with yr psychs!!!!" hahahahahaahaahaha they lie to me why tf would i be honest to them? especially when in the times i have been "honest" its actively harmed my treatment

like, do yall not understand how hard it is to get medication when your doctor doesnt even believe in the specific illness affecting you??

ive literally been told to "pray the anxiety away". i left that doc after one appointment. but thats just a PRIME example of why being "honest" just dont work here

ive been misdiagnosed and mismedicated all while my doctors just wouldn't listen to what the fuck i was saying and that i was dealing with and wanted to just use the "textbook conditions". and agoraphobia isn't well researched, because, well..... thats pretty much our biggest fear. being observed. being open with strangers. so its not really a "textbook condition".

its a complex issue that is different in every agor because it's usually induced by individual trauma, and its not a "societal/behavioral" illness and therefore not really something to "fix" with just meds. meds absolutely help. but since its not a "behavioral" illness, its not "as urgent of an illness" and i need to focus on my "REAL PROBLEMS" of anxiety and depression

which?????? what the fuck does "behavioral" even MEAN???? agoraphobia absolutely is behavioral, i cant fucking leave my house by myself, and BARELY with trusted people since ive regressed so bad due to covid panic. it effects my daily life and my "real issues" of anxiety and depression are actually fucking SYMPTOMS OF AGORAPHOBIA.

i will give credit where credit is due, but doctors (esp psychs) are NOT magical gods of medical knowledge that people hold them to be. living with a nurse ive learned that doctors are actually pretty fucking dumb and that they're really just "management/public relations" in hospitals. ive had a lot of bad experiences with doctors. so no i do not just trust them and tell them everything, they've probed to me countless times that they're not listening anyway.

and the reason why i put quotes around "honest" is because im not lying to them, but

idk how y'all's psych appointments go, but mine are literally just this conversation

"hi! how are you doing today?"

eh. im surviving haha

"hahaha yeah we all are. any panic attacks?"

ohhhh yeah hahahaha. plenty.

"oh! okay well lets move on, how is your add?"

i cant really focus on anything for more than like an hour but... at least i get that hour?

"well ya gotta just take the time ya got to do what ya need! how about the depression?"

well, i can barely leave my bedroom, which is covered in garbage because i cant go outside to take them to the trash and thats pretty depressing

"hahaha awww, im sorry to hear that. well, im sending your prescriptions to the pharmacy, see ya next month!"

i dont even have an opportunity to be honest. its so fast.

i dont want to have to find a new doctor because ive literally had to fight tooth and nail to find someone who would prescribe me anything that can actually HELP me, aka my vallium, which is a hell of a lot more difficult to get than any other fucking benzo for some reason???? the only others ive been prescribed was xanx, kpins. xanx is nice but its too temporary. its for when you're having an anxiety attack, not for general anxiety like valium is. and kpins?? mannnnnn FUCK KLONOPIN THAT SHIT DID NOTHIN.

idk i guess rant over for now thanks for not reading this long dumb post where i cry about not being properly medicated and being actively neglected & abused by doctors who literally don't believe in agoraphobia & refuse to acknowledge its existence or the consequences it has on both my mental state and my physical state.

[yioh]

hi yura, im the one who procrastinated by watching (several) movie(s),, the movie was not really good but also not too bad and exactly right for procrastinating,, i had my exam today and i think (or am 99% sure) that i failed, i dont feel too good right now bc i know it's my fault and i'm angry at myself and idk i dont want to think about it too much but even though i dont think i would just drop out of uni bc i just started i really wanna just drop out.

also im just thinking about how i only got in bc i was lucky, my gpa was way too bad for pharmacy and i only got in through the succession procedure (i hope thats the english word) i know i wont drop out bc then i have to search for a job and my anxiety is already too stressed out but i just, idk i feel weird and like i want to cry but also cant. i realized this got kinda negative so im sorry if this was too much, you dont have to answer this, i think i just wanted to write out my thoughts (2/3)

in english bc it is less scarier to me than in the language im fluent in,, sending you lots of love!<3 im really really sorry for all the negativity i just realized that this was not the best way, im regretting writing this now, i hope youre not mad (3/3)

ok first of all . LEMME GIVE U A BIG BIG BIG HUG . i'm 10000000% not mad at all and in fact, im so so so glad u sent this :) because, god i relate so freaking hard i can not express this enough... throughout my exams in school i always performed either terribly or average on math & physics and somehow i got lucky and got a decent grade in my finals (like once) and now that im at uni im struggling so insanely and i can barely finish any of my work by myself and all i can think of is that im too dumb for this and that i should've never been accepted in the first place ...... so bro, from the bottom of my heart i understand u so much . all i want is to drop out and stop studying a course im shit at and hate anyways but im 2 years in and idk what else i would do and its so freaking complicated and fills me with anxiety the more i think abt it and like fkjsksn yeah ... somehow its comforting to know that im not the only person whose struggling.... i hope u feel the same <3

as for advice, why don't you take it one step at a time? maybe tell ur loved ones that ur struggling first, and maybe test how u feel abt ur degree some more, and if u still feel horrible, reach out to someone in ur department maybe? usually they are more than willing to help figure something out to make it easier !! but i also know how hard it is because i haven't got the guts to do it either kdhdlshshkahjfkc ,, if anything, please prioritise ur mental health and don't let everything overwhelm you. its not your fault at all. life is so so long and it's inevitable that you will find ur way, and ur place, u just have to trust the process and go with the flow :) im sure everything will work out in the end, don't worry at all <3 i love u, take care of urself !!

[joongzone-blog]

ateez reaction to you playing a viagra prank on them (m)

anon: omg love your writing. can i please request an ateez reaction to you playing a viagra prank on them and if you could please make it a little long. i just think that’ll be hilarious.

HONGJOONG:

he’d be in the hotel room next door to yours, sharing a room with yunho when he starts to feel it getting hard

he doesn’t know why it’s getting hard, he wasn’t thinking of anything besides wanting to go to sleep but it jolts him awake

luckily yunho left the room to go join san and wooyoung

u, on the other hand, are wondering if it had set in yet so u look it up and when u realise it should kick in by now

u facetime him just to mock him

he immediately picks up

u put on a smirk and ur suddenly more annoying than usual according to hongjoong

“hi joong. how’s it going?”

he tried to hide it but u know whats going on...he just...doesn’t know it was u

“nothing much” he says “just y’know...making beats on my laptop...haha!”

“oh? that must be hard to do huh?”

“not really, it comes naturally to me now. why are u still awake?”

“it’s just...so...hard...to fall asleep and it’s so frustrating...my temper just...keeps growing...because of it...”

“stop that...why are u talking like that u weirdo” 

ur laugh suddenly can’t be contained and u just burst out in cackles, throwing the phone on the bed 

“ya! why are u laughing at me!”

once u managed to get urself together u grabbed ur phone and told him the prank u pulled on him while u and the members went out to eat earlier

his face fumes!!!

“ya! was this u?” he angrily scoffs “why would u pick me as ur victim?!”

“ur easily deceived joong. plus i saw it at the pharmacy counter yesterday and thought it’d be funny”

“im gonna beat ur ass when i see u tomorrow”

“come to my room we’ll figure out what to do with it”

“it would get flaccid seeing u, no thanks”

and u start bickering back and forth for a good three mins before joong groans into his pillow

“ya! i hate u so much!!!”

SEONGHWA

omg this baby would be so shy about it

u gave it to him it in replace of headache relief pill...but he doesn’t know that bc seonghwa doesn’t check

he’ll be on a vlive with yeosang later on when it starts getting hard

ur watching their vlive from the other room and ur just waiting...for something to happen...

when it gets hard all of a sudden his face contorts

“omo...”

and he’d look down but then immediately look up bcos he’s realising on live broadcasting

yeosang b like “what? what’s wrong?”

and seonghwa would be so speechless he’d look back and forth from yeosang to the camera 

nobody can see it bc of the filter but he is blushing like crazy

“hyung, stop fooling around, what’s wrong?”

and u watch as seonghwa whispers something into his ear, u in ur room quietly laughing to urself but also thinking of how to apologise to seonghwa bc u know he doesn’t handle pranks like these well

yeosang then does the same as seonghwa and looks back and forth from him and the camera

yeosang be like “ok everyone we have to go! it’s getting late goodnight!”

but the time is only 8pm and u just laugh as u turn ur phone off

from ur room u can hear them panicking about what to do, and seonghwa yelling and yeosang yelling back

YUNHO

big baby would also be so shy!!!

this prank would be urs and wooyoung’s idea

u would be accompanying him and the members on the set of an mv filming

u would be watching yunho and wooyoung being goofy behind the scenes in front of the cameras

and then yunho’s face suddenly changes...like in the gif...god

and wooyoung is smirking and being touchy feely with him bc he knows whats up

“yunho, is everything ok? ur not feeling sick are u?” he teases

“get y/n...i need her...like now...wooyoung please...”

wooyoung laughs at him as he goes over to u and tell u that ur boyfriend wants u

“baby what’s wrong?” u say, acting like u dont know whats wrong

he looks around, his face blushing bright red, to make sure nobody is looking at him

“i...”

“yunho...tell me what’s wrong”

“babe i-i have a...b-boner...”

u cant help but laugh and he quickly covers up ur mouth while backing u up into somewhere secluded

“shhh!!! please!!!”

“how’d u manage that huh? what were u thinking of huh?”

“literally nothing! idk why i just got it...god it hurts...what do i do?”

u put ur hand between his thighs knowing u two are alone and u squeeze one of his thighs lightly

“we could help it a bit? there’s an unused room down the hall-”

but before u can even finish it yunho grabs ur arm and dashes through the hall with u

“please, i just want it gone, i cant be having a boner on an mv, i’d get clowned by atiny”

YEOSANG

i think he’d either be the most calm about it or be the complete opposite and freak out 

but let’s stick to the most calm since that’s more his personality

u would pull the same prank on him like u did with seonghwa, making him think it was a headache relief pill

he’ll be in the middle of dancing with the members when all of a sudden...

he’d be like: and i...OOP!

he’d try to get through a few minutes dancing with it bc he thinks he’s gotten a random hard-on and thinks if he focuses on something else then it will go away

but not with viagra

when he realises its not going down he’d excuse himself to the toilets 

he’ll sit in a cubicle and wait for someone in there to leave before taking off the lower half clothes and touching himself

he wants it to go away because he has no time to be embarrassed

he just wants it to go away and he’s panicking because he’s been touching himself for god knows how long and he cant feel himself getting close

so he texts you as a last resort

yeosang: babe

you: yes?

yeosang: i really need a big favor from you

you: hm...depends what it is...

yeosang: baby can you touch yourself and let me hear you?

you: oh? you’re horny?

yeosang: i wasn’t but i just got this hard-on and i went to touch myself but nothing...

yeosang: i know it’s late but i panicked, im sorry...oh god, you really don’t need to, it’s okay don’t worry

YOU are calling...

SAN

cute baby boy would so laugh the fact that you and yunho had plotted to pull this prank off so san wouldn’t sleep tonight

he’d just laugh at himself as he watches it get harder and harder in the shower

“oh my god! what is this!”

cackles and cackles, his cute laughs everywhere

yunho is sitting in their shared room on his phone and all he can hear is san yelling and cackling at himself in the shower

he knows what’s up

“yunho! i got a boner!”

yunho laughs so hard at how easy it is for san to just tell him these things

“pretty sure a little birdie and i slipped something in your americano this morning to get back at u for the shampoo prank but that’s none of my business!”

san laughs so hard he nearly slips but thankfully he’s okay

he’s just . looking down at himself . laughing

he isn;t surprised that yunho pulled this off but you? his own girlfriend? would betray him like this?

he peeks out from the shower curtain and grabs his phone thats sitting closeby and he starts to call you

when u pick up u are welcomed to the sound of san’s high pitched screaming

“ya! i can’t believe how much of a snake you are! do you know what you did to me? cause im staring at it right now and it hurts! it’s funny but what if this never comes down in the morning! how am i supposed to sleep on my stomach when this...thing...wants to sleep with me! ya! you’re dead tomorrow!”

san doesn’t talk about anything else for the rest of the night except for ways to get rid of his hard-on while yunho is fast asleep

MINGI

omg another big baby that would both be shy and be dramatic about it

u pranked him earlier and now u and mingi are baking something together for yeosang’s birthday that’s coming soon

he’s whirring mixture when it starts to get hard and he immediately shuts the machine off

he takes a big deep breath because he’s not sure just how on earth he has managed to get a boner in the middle of baking

he tries to push it down but that!!! hurts!!!

he shrieks and u ask him whats wrong

he ushers you away, telling u nothing is wrong

but u have a faint idea that maybe it’s the little viagra pill u slipped into his drink earlier

mingi can’t take it no more bc it gets harder and harder the more he tries to ignore it

he’s quiet, silently inching behind you before you feel it pressing against your back

hm, you think

“babe. i’m not sure what’s going on but it’s stressing me out.”

“but we’re baking”

“i know but if i keep going the others are bound to see it and i, for sure, know they’re going to clown me”

“the cupcakes are gonna burn baby, you’ll just have to wait”

but he’s a big baby and he just whines over and over, whimpering as it gets even harder and warms his stomach

it makes you laugh so hard but you enjoy toying with mingi 

you love seeing him be so helpless and under your control

“baby can’t we just pause the oven and resume it when we’re done?”

WOOYOUNG

i see him having the same reaction as san but more exaggerated except because of the situation, he’s more collected about it:

u thought it was funny to drop one in his coke while u were eating out with the members

on the drive home the members are all fast asleep in the van except for you and wooyoung

you because you were reading a really cool book and wooyoung...well because he’s been trying to hide his hard-on since it started getting hard

you’ve been noticing how often he’s been changing positions with his legs and it started to irk you a little now because you just want him to tell you that he’s hard without getting shy

“babe, if you’re going to keep hiding your hard-on from me you might aswell just sit with the driver so i can’t see”

“how...how did you know?”

you laugh to yourself putting your hand between his thighs and rubbing it 

wooyoung is hot and absolutely not collected but he stays quiet because he’s with his members and they’re all asleep

you unbutton his jeans and wooyoung gets even more hotter bc ur hand presses against his throbbing hard-on

you rub it, just to see his reaction and the way he closes his eyes pleases you

but then he opens them quickly, realising where he is

you laugh at him and punch him jokingly, “relax, i’m not going to jack you off while the others are here”

and wooyoung groans but he knows ur right and besides, it’s much more fun when u two are alone

JONGHO

omg what a sweet boy!

[a-franciscan-spirit]

Hey, I am sorry to bother you, but I saw you rebloged something about PCOS and how you rejected birth control as a treatment, I am currently trying to find a doctor that will give me something other than pills and had no success, can I ask a little more about your experience? Thank you, God bless you!

Im sorry this took me so long to answer, but I felt like I needed to give it the time for a proper response.  Under the cut cause it got long.

I do have PCOS, as diagnosed the OBGYN who put me on the pill. Ironically, my mother told me “shes Catholic too, and its ok if its for medical reasons.” I listened; after all, at nineteen, I had no knowledge of alternatives. What followed was a period I call “The Dark Times”. Birth Control “balances” your hormones; sure, my periods were finally manageable, but over time, it started to eat away at my mental state. I became indifferent to things I used to valued; I allowed the wrong people to influence me. I made a series of poor decisions that led me into an emotionally abusive relationship. Its not hard to imagine how that further spiraled into a life of sin. I wont go into the details here, because that’s not what this ask is about. (No, my parents still dont know about this a decade later and Id like to keep it that way.)

When it finally manifested as a serious depression, my OBGYN simply prescribed me antidepressants. I was willing to take them because “most people I know are depressed”. But my mom was wiser than I, and rejected them. Much later I learned that antidepressants have a family history of backfiring drastically. My mom instead said, “something with this is wrong”, and started to do her own research. My mother has the medical knowledge in the family, and I am grateful that she has the wherewithal to not take doctors advice at face value. And to actually comprehend the research into alternatives. Through that, I learned that with proper diet, maybe a few supplements, and exercise, it was possible to reduce the symptoms of PCOS. Around this time, I had become somewhat despondent and was desperate for any way out of an increasingly bad situation. I missed being myself. Not one to do things by halves, I left my relationship, all the friends I had made during that time, and stopped taking birth control. (Disclaimer: please do not discontinue anything you were prescribed without a doctors supervision.) Oh yeah, I also never went back to that doctor. Occasionally the pharmacy will still fill my old prescriptions for BC, oops. Within a couple weeks of it being out of my system, I was able to be myself again. Surprising how such a seemingly small thing can make such a big impact on your life. With my parents help and support, I made it on my own for a long time. No doctors. I often dont trust them anyway, so it wasnt hard to avoid them.

Part of this process involved a good bit of trial and error to learn what diet and supplements would work best for me. This is not something I would advise doing without solid medical knowledge, because supplements may sound safe, but it takes a lot to make sure they dont interact with each other. I tried a few alternative hormone supplements, and found that a majority of them also messed with my head--which is one of the ways I know it wasnt entirely my own screw ups that led to The Dark Times, but that BC played a part in it.

When I did return to vaguely normal doctor visits, I simply refused BC. I think I straight up told a pushy doctor one time that it messed up my mental health, and theyve thankfully never pushed it again. Its worth doing the research to find a doctor who does not prescribe to the “BC is the magic answer to everything” agenda, but I realize this is easier said than done. Ive had good luck with naturalist doctors. In fact, the last one I had gave me diet suggestions, an additional supplement to take, and suggested metformin for my genetically high cholesterol. While unfortunately I am unable to continue seeing her (her office moved and its too far away for me now), I still follow the outline she laid for me and Ive been very happy with it so far. I miss her, she was good.

The up side is this: all of that information is now in my medical record, so even if I go to a generic physician, I dont have to repeat information. They already know what is working for me, and have chosen not to mess with that. Which may not be a common practice, but Im grateful for it.

Anyway, thats my imperfect experience... and I hope its somewhat helped you, even if I dont have direct medical advice. Just “do your research and be your own advocate!” I wish I had more useful information to share with you.

I think there are other Catholic blogs here who also have experience with PCOS and may be better able to point you in the direction of medical information to assist you. I cant remember which blogs those are right now, but feel free to comment or something with extra information if you have it!

As a last note, please, do not consider this post as me advocating for disregarding a doctors advice... mental health and physical health are important and you should be very careful in altering either of them... If BC works for you, then great. I just want people to be aware that it may *not* always be great and that it can have effects one doesnt normally think about. So its important to know your body, and your medical information, so you can make the best decision for you.

[happyimaginaryme]

Retail

I really don't want to work retial anymore. Infact I don't want to work customer service jobs anymore. I've been doing it for 8 years and my currant Job is breaking me. Its not a bad job persay? Like don't get me wrong, I don't mind the pay, the yearly raises (even if they are small -cough- .25-.40 cents small -cough-) and the benfits are decent.

However... Is it fucking worth it? The shit we go through. The Shit Customers put us through. Sure sure there are some you like. Some you may even worry about if you don't see them. Some who you may see as a friend. It's going to happen.

However they don't always make up for the ones who are just nasty, The ones who are demanding, or The ones who creep you out. It's just tiring some. If something small doesnt go their way they chew your head out.

Like roday (well yesterday now) I am not even in work an hour and a lady comes over to the photo department to ask for her photos.... Sure fine no problem. Well you would think. No other rhan giving us her name the first thing she snaps at us is "Where is my 15% discount?! That's the regular price. I had a coupon for 15% off!" Absultly demanding the extra $2 dollars off. Now I am the closing manager. So I can okay the sale. But we need to see the coupon code as proof.

Now she has her phone in hand (A smart phone mind you) and she tells us its in her e-mail. That she can't get to it.

So I said 'well we can look on our website and see if we can get you another deal. There might be a better one...."

She wasn't happy with that. She demanded her 15. (Even tho onlime we had a %30 off for enlargmets which is what she got. But w.e she wanted 15)

Fastforward a few minutes after I gave her the %15 off b.c I wasn't going to argue with her she starts to accuse us for printing out her photos wrong. So my accoate explainds to her that we only print what is.sent over. We can't change things. (We can crop but only a little bit.)

Well she wasn't happy and refused the order. But.she still wanted 3 of her photos to take. So I adjusted the price. And she left once it was lowered from 15 to $7... Like lady damn.

And it just got on my last nerv. And I was only an hour in. Between a couponer whos crazy, a theif who lets her kid run around crazy while she is dressed in onsi pajamas, A guy trying to return something without a recept and then steeling what he wanted to exstange for, and a cowroker who wont so anything... I'm tired.

I am tired of being one of the only workers who does something. And there are days where I feel like I am the only one. (I love three of my coworkers to death but one goes around playing with a telzon, one dissapears or stops working after one task and the other takes his time and sometimes rather watch youtube as he works) but thoes are the three that will also work when asked. Everyone else are lazy shits.

Plus we work every fucking holiday and my store manager is always like "I have such a good team they will work the hokidays and then I wont have to yay! ESCUSE YOU BITCH I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE IT OFF TOO AND MAKE YOU WORKK! Fucking cunt.

Then we do work the holiday and we get a lot of "sorry you're open. At least we/I'm here to make your time well spent

No Karen you being here is WHY we have to. GTF home and be christmas or whatrver you celebrate hole. Like DAMN the less customerd we havr the less likely we'll be open.

And whats really not fair is the Pharmacy is closed and all the techs don't have to work. I get their primary jobs are to work in the pharmacy but when they want extra hours they are up front with us. So I don't get why the Techs don't have to work either. Or maybe we shouldn't give them hours bc they don't even volinteer and when asked they say nah sorry. Well screw you crystal you "intitled" bitch. Yet god forbid we dont help them the following morning when they are overflowing with scripts. Coulda shoulda worked it then.

I am also so tired of the distract managers telling us to be non Bias yet have western Union and to be suspecious of everyone who is making a purchas.

Don't accuse anyone from steeling even as you watch them do it, but as soon as they go to the Kiosk for western union you need to know everything from their mother's maden name to their great aunts sosocal secerety number.

Speaking of we now card everyone. Oh yeah you 80 years old and want to smoke some newports but you forgot your I.D? Sorry bra no lung crushers for you today. But here you can buy this lighter for 1.59. Have a great day!

Also corpate is so dumb. Half of them probbaly never worked in reatail their life but insists they know how to treat customers. Sorry to say this bucko but the customers always right BULL SHIT flew out the window along with beepers. Customers are NOT always right. They are NOT right when they yell at your face. They are NOT right when they call you names. They are NOT right when they tell you to have a real job. They are NOT right when they bring in their tiny non service dogs and allow them to pee on our floor. The only thing a customer should do is get their item(s) pay for them and get the fuck out. If a coupon ism't working we can usually solve why in minutes without you butching and yelling. Like okay Linda I'm not going to give it to you if you keep yelling in my face.

Also why do customers think its okay to hit on you? I have this customer who chases me around the store, asks me to merry her a few times a wek. What does my managers do? Laugh about it. Coz we can't kick customers out of the store unless they are physically hurting us or useing cuss words. Nothing about sexual herassment.

Lets not even get me started with school kids. Kids to vandlize our bathrooms, and cuss throughout the store. Not to mention steal what they can.

Fuck I am just tired. Goodnignt.

Stressful depressful Lemon Zest

[zealusts-blog]

❛ ⋆ ․˙✰ nora grace nguyen is graduating in a month with plans to attend harvard in the fall to study law and political science. four years complete and she’s leaving the hamptons being remembered as the zealous, which makes perfect sense considering how articulate, venturesome, pugnacious, and unpredictable she is. that title landed them the senior class superlative of most likely to be arrested for organizing a sit- in protest at the local kill shelter. you’ll know they’re around when you hear hierarchy - cailin russo coming from a car this summer. speaking of summer, i hear their plans are to spend it doing a part-time internship at a law firm. morning coffee and afternoon boba, shiba cuddles, sitting in during public court cases, and plaid skirts with oversized knit sweaters.

hello it me ellie (she/her/hers pronouns) and this is nora! i havent done an intro or been in a rp in 10 years so please excuse this post if its awkward n stuff im cringing just writing this bc i forgot how awkward an intro post is like wow... ANYWAYS! i’m vv excited to b here and rp with u guys, love u guys, b here w u guys, all that nice cute stuff w u guys!!! 

u can read nora’s stats here and learn more about her here but like that page is  really long n lengthy so i’m gonna some her up for u guys as best as i can but if its gets long n lengthy too pls forgive me thank u im trying 

her family is wealthy bc of their role in pharmacy work. their family owns  a couple pharmacies (mainly in new york, new jersey, n rhode island) and has some investments in other companies as extra money

theyre wealthy and could stop working for like maybe 10 years if they pleased, but the nguyens dont rest and thats y nora’s parents are absent alot 

bc her parents r absent since theyre always working, nora had to grow up faster to b independent and also raise her younger sister, daisy jane

shes mature but only bc asian parents love handing off parenting duties to their eldest daughter and that happens to b nora! it’s only two of them but still she gave up part of her childhood to p much raise daisy jane on her own despite her parents being alive n healthy

shes a big time activist and feminist and is very upfront about how she feels about certain things and about policies and regulations she thinks should b changed/fixed/removed/etc. 

her dream is harvard and thats been her only dream and plan since she was born. her parents gave it to her and she’s never changed it bc (1) her parents r strict n (2) she craves their acceptance and wants to make them proud and if it means listening to what they want from her then she’ll do it 

shes v open about what she believes in and will talk about it and will also fight for it. 

shes always willing to fight someone and have a debate over anything like it’s more fun for her if its something surrounded politics or stuff going on around the world but also if u wanna argue about how people who aren’t lactose intolerant are abnormal then she’ll b a square bc its literally not normal for ur body to still b able to breakdown lactose enzymes 

shes somewhere in the top 10/15 of the entire class, but shes worked hard to get where she is. studying doesnt come easy to her and she doesnt have photographic memory. she feels really dumb bc of that and hates how she has like... work to get the grade bc she wishes she was smart n could read the textbook once and get it but shes not wired like that n so  a bitch struggles w that n feeling like shes not as smart as her parents want her to b n it doesnt help that her parents let her know that

shes v sarcastic n argumentative and funny and sometimes sexual but she’d never act on those sexual things she says shes an innocent n too shy to b upfront like that u feel 

like she never deters from an argument n hates losing but if u say something too sexual for her n make an initiative to do it then she’ll back down n shy away like thats the only way u can win an argument w her otherwise she’ll keep pulling shit out of her ass until she wins or u call some truce (but in nora’s mind she won bc who backs away from a fight? hm not her!)

nora struggles talking about her feelings and will literally not talk about deep shit about herself like  ya she’ll voice her opinions n fight for it n shit but if u wanna talk about her parent’s incoming divorce, her academic struggles, her need for her parents acceptance, n shit like that then good luck trying to make her talk n shit  bc she wont unless ur close to her and have her 100% complete trust 

this is already long and im blanking on what to include bc idk whats important important about nora that i need to include here but! feel free to read the tidbits page for her u’ll get to know nora better n  know lil like... things about her like hades, veganisms, protests, driving, etc. 

i’m also a slut for plots so if u wanna plot with me for ur chara and nora then please reply to this with a word or something so i know and i’ll come to u!! id tell u guys to like this post n then i’ll come to u but sometimes im not sure if people  r liking the post so its like.. an acknowledgment or bc they actually wanna plot idk if that makes sense pls help me?? ANYWAYS below r some connection ideas that i thot would b cool for nora aha x 

neighbors! 

(1) theyre friendly and hung out a lot bc u kno neighbors n its easy to go to each others houses. the person would also b friends w nora’s little sister daisy jane bc when theyre home and nora is on parent duty she n daisy jane r a duo 

(2) theyre not friendly n they cant stand each other we love a good notp! we can expand more  on this if ur interested but rn my mind is blanking

childhood besties:

(1) maybe things went sour and now theyre enemies like maybe its a betrayal or something but like! besties for the resties to besties for never r always so beautiful im a slut for those type of connections

(2) things didnt go sour but they just drifted and now theyre kinda awkward but try really hard for it to not b awkward??  they knew each other like the back of their hands and now theyre kinda like?? r u still the same or did u change?? whats up whats happening??? 

one sided crush: nora could have a crush on them thats ongoing or is new, but its just a crush and nora actually acting on it is so so rare like she’ll punch someone for saying some racist shit to her but will cry if someone forces her to shoot her shot

(1) maybe the person knows and teases her for it n nora hates them for it but is also like :) but also :( u feel like does that even make sense? 

(2) the person doesnt kno n is kinda just like what the fuck y is nora so timid n shy around me when she just decked a guy for blatantly littering at the beach and saying the beach should b more trash cans if they didnt want people littering 

enemies! 

friends!

tutor: maybe a tutor?? like nora isnt dumb and shes not failing like she’s in the top 10 of  the class but that doesnt mean she’s the smartest person and not struggling trying to keep her grades up. having someone she can study with n can like. help her would b really good for her 

(1) twist is that it could b secretive bc maybe nora doesnt want people knowing that she has a tutor or that the person tutoring her is her tutor for whatever reason. again i can expand on this if ur interested!!!!

bad influence: someone to get her to wild n out n like tell her to forget her parents n responsibilites n shit. maybe make her hoe it out so she can stop getting cold u feel what im saying?? idk if u do im literally just rambling at this point im so sorry

i’m out of connection ideas rn but! if none of these r interesting enough for u then we can do something else like if u have a connection u want filled or like??? we can just think of something else that’ll b more fitting im down for anything n everything 

[plu7e]

you dont have to answer this!! but i was wondering if you could kind of talk about your journey so far on testosterone?? im seriously thinking about it right now and wanted to know about your experience!

apparently u sent this like 2 weeks ago omg bby im sorry !!! my inbox is bugged and doesnt show any asks, i hope u can forgive me ;u;

BUT ok i can totally talk abt it

first of all my parents had to sign a contract that they were aware of the possible dangers of the treatment and such, as im underage, next, the doctors at my current clinic said i had to take a blood test to make sure everything was fine, and it was, so i got my prescriptions, currently my treatment is an ampoule per month even though i could go for one every 3 weeks, i decided to play safe bc to me its pretty invasive to just pump an ampoule filled w hormones in your body, but it all depends on what your doctors recommend

until i reached the 6 months in testosterone mark, i had to take a blood test every 2 months to make sure that it was having the desired effect and such, this was kind of a bumpy road bc there was a strike in the whole country which made gasoline impossible to get, making it impossible to go to the clinic to get more prescriptions to get more ampoules, but after a month or so the strike finally ended and so i went right back into the treatment, no side-effects showed up during this month off tho (thank god bc u cant just abruptly stop the treatment lmao but i was good!!)

in the beginning there was nothing really big, my testosterone levels got up a little bit, which kind of worried the doctors, but on the 6th month there was an obvious spike so we decided on taking one blood test every year, exercising, eating well and all of that, the first effect was that my menstruation completely stopped, i dont even remember how uncomfortable it is to wear a pad anymore lol, and that hair started to grow a lot... everywhere... for the first months it stopped there but with the spike (6th month) my voice got significantly deeper (after cracking all the time), im pretty sure i got a little bit taller (would get a lil bit more if i were exercising constantly but...), my libido got really intense and your clit grows a little bit with each ampoule, thats all completely normal and good! but there were also effects that unfortunately happened and that i wasnt (and still am not lmao) happy with, like my hair getting thinner (not anything serious but bc of my shitty eating habits that almost got me into an ed again, and bc testosterone does thin you hair, i had to start using medicine to get my hair to the thickness it was, special shampoo, etc) and the MOOD SWINGS... i am DEFINITELY more prone to anger and stress (but also bc of the current situation of my country and a lot of other personal problems) and its recommended that you see a therapist while doing the treatment, i didnt, but im thinking abt it now with so much stress accumulated into my life

in general, i dont regret anything, i just wished i had taken better care of myself in the beginning of the treatment so that i could minimize all the possible unwanted side effects (cough cough hair thinning cough cough), so take that as an advice!! i am more confident with myself and the way i present as a man, and i know for a fact that if i had waited till i turned 18 to start treatment i would just agonize for more time, bc one of the biggest causes of dysphoria for me was menstruation, so when it completely stopped i felt like i was finally free lmao

so if youre really planning on doing it, please exercise and eat well, it helps in the long run, also get in contact with your doctors if you need to change your testosterone (i had to bc the brand i was using stopped fabricating, so i changed to another) and never inject yourself w/o proper knowledge! i get my ampoules at a pharmacy and apply there but im planning on applying into a nursing crash course in the future so i can learn how to to it myself and not depend on anyone

i hoped this helped you somehow, also im sorry abt the english mistakes and stuff, its late and im tired, feel free to ask me anything!

[qkantyjk-blog]

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I have been taking generic suboxone 8/2 MG buprenorphine/nalaxone. My insurance just changed and I have a $1500.00. Even the generic cost is?

I have been taking generic suboxone 8/2 MG buprenorphine/nalaxone. My insurance just changed and I have a $1500.00. Even the generic cost is?

Is killing me. What pharmacy offers the best rate for this med? Any ideas on cost saving?

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SOURCES:

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[scarletiris]

silence is the deadliest form of torture.

the title says it all doesn't it? like i mean i had a day to figure out what i did wrong, like i know you said theres nothing between us and you are not mad at me, but then why do i feel so distant from you? I know what i did wrong and every time i just want to pick up the phone and call you or text you but i know you need space, which is funny because you say theres nothing going on between us. So lets start from square one right? the part where i mentioned even though you are my blood cousin, i always considered you my actual definition of a best friend. You were always there for me in my lowest moments, seen my darkest times, and helped me actually be the sole reason why im able to smile again. All from being roughly 1700 miles away. So i guess when i admitted that to you and i started having such nervous conversations around you and i did notice you were quiet around me, ignoring my calls, like come on be real. like, obviously if you see a miss call and you dont respond to it or even text me back thats ignoring. like theres no way around it, A! thats why im a bit hurt you know? i know what i did was selfish. to assume that you were always going to be there for me when in reality, fuck it right? i mean we havent even known each other for too long, what, like 5 years if anything? you probably just see me as the “fun” california cousin and whatnot. but like, really. what. the. fuck? i was ALWAYS there for you and how i was raised WAS different yes? that no matter what the situation was no matter what problems went on, i would drop anything for you just to make sure you have someone to talk to and feel better, but when i needed you you tell me you cant be there for me and you should focus on yourself? like i understand it and all, but WHAT THE FUCK? is this your true color? is this the true you? you get where im coming from though? like if this is really you, its a nightmare you know? someone that i finally for the first time in my life put my absolute trust into, doesn't feel the same. now again, let me clarify that i know i fucked up. i was being a petty little bitch who kept pouring problems and scenarios where it doesn't involve you into them. I never once thought it might be too much for you and to be completely honest, i never thought it could ever be enough. I mean thats the idea right? of having someone as close as you? would you understand how i felt when you said that though? you knew i was more sentimental than you, i guess thats just the natural sexist persona though, males aren't suppose to have any feelings, they are supposed to always be strong and its a one way street when the girl vents to the guy right? if thats how it is really supposed to be then ill go back to it, to keep quiet to myself and just let it fade. But just know that really hurt, A. and whats worse is theres nothing from you anymore, just silence. no snaps, texts, calls, asking how im doing or if im up. and it really makes me mad. im just gonna be blunt bc i have so much disarray in my thoughts right now. like fuck man it really did hurt me and im mad and sad and upset and just confused. like where is it supposed to go from here? you see what the outcome was when you said that to me? its like, do you want me to move? are you waiting 10 months to find a good excuse to push me away and not have me move? are you trying to just cut me off completely and just finding the right words? i get it right? we are family, so word will get around and you dont want to be the reason you hurt me, but you dont know how else to say it right? so by just giving me the silent treatment and just disappearing from my life you want me to grow apart from you with my own hatred forming in my heart. NO. i dont believe that, i dont believe that you are a bad person, through anything. you have way too much passion in your heart to do that to me. What do i do then A? guide me. i need guidance, im not asking you to hold my hand, im asking for just a sign, a sign to show we truly are as you say on the same page and still close. because i dont feel it anymore and the lingering effect it has on me, with so many scenarios and outcomes replaying over and over are dismantling my very core of my belief in you. Not even just my belief in you, my belief in humanity, how when the going gets tough its ok to just bounce? and never be heard from again? LIKE again dude. i get it, pharmacy school and being 1 F away from failing the program is such a huge task, but did i ever say im gonna distant myself from you so you can pursue it? no, what did i say? i said NO MATTER WHAT, ill always be there for you. family is more important than a career, at least to me. i will never ever hate you if i lose my career to be there for you. thats why im mad, confused, sad, and clueless why you believe that your idea is correct. “it sounds selfish but im sorry if i cant be sympathetic or caring as you want me to be, i need to focus on myself” that stung, almost as much as “i dont feel comfortable weighing in on your important life decisions” like THE FUCK? do you know how much things stick to me? i cant just brush it off and forget it like you can. i cant just go oh okay see ya around next time. ill dwell on it, let the worst thoughts eat me up inside, and honestly its justifiable to dwell on that situation. like DUDE, my or at least IN MY EYES, the only person i can really call my cousin/bestfriend/hero just says no thanks? not interested.? how do you think that makes me feel A,? better yet how do you think im gonna react to it?>> everytime i see and hear from you i get really happy. just remember that, if we grow apart, ill never forget you A,. hopefully i really am just overthinking all this, see you soon, and hopefully i dont just waste my time and drag you down.. i just wish you were able to see my fear and be here for me. im sorry for being a brat about it. but i only want you to somehow see this and dont push me away like some ugly monster, but to just let me be a brat and let me hold onto ya for a bit. weird as fuck because im a guy and your a girl and its strange to know that a guy needs your help? is that why youre mad? idk. just know i need you here for me, and its antagonizing know you dont want to be..