#like i dont have to worry about taking it too seriously
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Your writing is amazing 🤩
Can I request headcanons where The Big Three hedgehogs (separately) would react with a reader who doesn’t want to be in a romantic relationship with them; not because of them specifically, but because reader doesn’t want to be in life-threatening trouble all the time. They want to live peacefully, and they can’t have that if they’re dating hedgehogs who are known for attracting danger.
Sonic villains are scary and op. I wouldn’t want to deal with them, even if it meant rejecting the coolest characters in fiction.
Yandere triple s x Reader
Sonic:
Sonic is the embodiment of freedom and excitement, living life on the edge is all he knows. When you tell him you don't want to be in a relationship with him because of the chaos he attracts, he's initially confused.
"What do you mean you don't want excitement in your life?" he asks, his grin faltering. "You're seriously saying you'd rather stay boring and safe than, y'know, live it up with me?"
You explain that it's not about being boring, it's about being genuinely weary snd concerned. Eggman, Metal Sonic, literal GODS, waiting to pop out of the woodwork aren't exactly conducive to a peaceful lifestyle. You want to enjoy life without worrying about explosions, kidnappings, or world ending disasters.
At first, Sonic brushes it off with his usual charm. "C'mon, don't be like that. I'd never let anything happen to you, you know that!" But when you stand firm, his sunny charm starts to crack.
"Are you serious?" His voice lowers, losing its playful edge. "You're really turning me down because of a little danger? You think you're safer without me?"
His words filled with disbelief and growing frustration. How could you not see that he's the guy for you? He protects you better than anyone else could. Sure, Eggman"s schemes are dangerous, but they'd be even more dangerous if he wasn't around to stop them.
As days pass, Sonic'a obsession starts to surface in ways you didn't expect. He's always watching, always. You'll look out the window and catch a fleeting blur of blue, or feel the wind shift as he speeds past. You can't shake the feeling that he's nearby, even when you're alone.
When he finally confronts you again, his tone is far less casual than before. "You don't get it, do you? If you're not with me, you're vulnerable. I can't just leave you out here, waiting for something to happen. It's too dangerous without me."
His logic twists. In his mind, your rejection only proves that you need him more. You dont want to be around him because you dont want to get hurt? He'll give you that wish. Sonic begins isolating you from anything that could "endanger" you. Friends mysteriously cancel plans. Locations you frequent suddenly close down. If you dont want to be happy with him, thats fine, he'll make sure you cant be with anyone. After all, they might "endanger you" too
Shadow:
Shadow doesn't take rejection lightly. When you tell him that you don't want a relationship because of the danger associated with him, his first reaction is silent disbelief. He stares at you, his eyes narrowing as he tries to process what he just heard.
"You think being with me is dangerous?" His voice is cold, almost offended. "I've kept you alive all this time, haven't I? Do you really think anyone else could protect you better than me?"
You try to explain that it's not about him failing to protect you. You just don't want to wake up every day wondering which new villain will target you because of your association with him. Shadow's life is crazy, and just way too "eventful", and you're not cut out for that kind of stress.
For a moment, Shadow seems to consider your words. He's calculating, always analyzing the situation for the most logical solution. But then his own head gets the better of him, and the idea of you rejecting him, for any reason, sends him into a quiet fury.
"So, you think you can live a peaceful life without me?" His tone deceptively calm. "You think you can just walk away and no one will come after you?"
It’s a veiled threat, but there's truth in his words. Shadow's enemies are ruthless, and you even being friends would have already alerted them enough of your presence by now. In his mind, letting you go isn't just reckless, it's cruel. You need him, whether you realize it or not.
Shadow begins to follow you. He's always nearby, watching from the shadows, ensuring you're safe. But his presence isn't comforting. Every time you think you've escaped his grasp, he's there, reminding you that your "peaceful" life is a fantasy.
"You just dont understand, do you? If anything, im the only thing keeping you safe."
And if you still insist on resisting? Shadow's methods become less "gentle". He's not above using force to keep you by his side. In his mind, it's all justified. After all, he's doing this for your own good.
Silver:
Silver is the most emotionally vulnerable of the three. When you tell him you don't want to be in a relationship because of the danger he attracts, his first reaction is heartbreak.
"Wait... what?" His voice cracks, and his wide, teary eyes search your face for any sign that you're joking. "You… you don’t want to be with me? Why...?"
You explain that it's not about him as a person, it's about the constant danger. You're not strong like him. You don't have speed, psychic powers, or any training. You're just a regular mobian trying to survive, and being with him feels like painting a target on your back.
Silver's lip trembles as he tries to process your words. "But... I can protect you. I'd never let anything happen to you, I swear!" His desperation is just saddening. He doesn’t understand why you'd reject him when he's offering to keep you safe.
As the days go on, Silver becomes increasingly obsessive. He can't stop thinking about you, about how wrong it is for you to push him away. He convinces himself that you're just scared and that he needs to prove he can give you the peaceful life you want.
Silver starts "fixing" your life in ways that quickly spiral out of control. He uses his powers to move you away from anything he perceives as a threat. If someone looks at you the wrong way, they trip and fall. If a place feels "unsafe," he blocks your access to it entirely.
When he confronts you again, his tone is a mix of desperation and determination. "I've done everything I can to make things better for you! Don't you see? We can be together. You just have to trust me!"
If you still resist, Silver becomes more unhinged. He's not naturally violent, but his obsession with keeping you safe drives him to extremes. He starts to believe that the only way to protect you is to keep you with him, always.
"I know you're scared" he whispers, holding you close despite your protests. "But I’ll make everything okay. You'll see. You don't have to worry about anything anymore... because I’m here."
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#fanfic#sonic the hedgehog x reader#sonic x reader#shadow x reader#shadow the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog x reader#silver#shadow#silver the hedgehog#silver x reader#silver the hedgehog x reader#yandere shadow#yandere#yandere silver the hedgehog#yandere silver#yandere shadow the hedgehog#yandere sonic#yandere sonic the hedgehog#yandere sonic the hedgehog x reader#yandere shadow the hedgehog x reader#yandere silver the hedgehog x reader#yandere triple s#triple s#team triple s#Yandere triple s x Reader
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MSPaint Michael dump
#at this point my mspaint art folder is bigger than my fr art folder#mspaint#tma#michael shelley#michael distortion#theres juts something theraputic about drawing in mspaint to me#like i dont have to worry about taking it too seriously#i can juts doodle with my mouse and listen to youtube#anyways i have more but most of them are weird because theyre like drawn to go along with stuff ive made with my S2S ai voice model of shel#shelley* hit the tag lenght limit#i just vibe w pre distortion michael ok i want a happy ending for my boi
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i know too fucking much about qsmp badboyhalo.
#and also. not enough#that one big summary of his Deal was like . 1k words.#and it brushed over so much shit#like his trust issues and the vacation arc and his criminal background (on qsmp) and the way he was the first to take protecting the#eggs seriously and i dont even KNOW enough about his relationship with maxo and the french that is a big blindspot for me but bad and max#(and foolish?) og founders of the theory bros the first people who started questioning cucurucho and then the french his family the people#who keep proving to be on his side over and over and i love it when he hangs out with pierre and talks create#and when he chills with antoine and helps fix the big spinning ring#and his WEIRD warrior's bond with etoiles (bad always gets along with the protectors have you noticed that#forever was the second big egg protector and baghera took care of pomme from the start and cellbit threw himself to the feds to try to help#the island and etoiles took the weight of the code attacks from bad's shoulders to his own in entirety. he respects them all a lot and i am#chewing him to pieces)#and his relationship with baghera!!!! she can read him so so well and he fucking trusts her enough to be dapper's mom#he may have felt weird about it and was jealous and :c because tahts HIS dapper but#he didn't kill her about it#or really do anything to discourage it#and he noticed her tear streaks and her leg and got Worried about the federation 'fixing' her and#genuinely he was so so happy when he realized she was back he went !!! mode#look. LOOK at these fucking tags. look back at the post. i can Keep Talking.#my point remains i know too fucking much about qsmp badboyhalo#shit and i didn't even TALK about his weird bullshit with foolish#i need a giant corkboard
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gamers I love unions and everything but Uh Oh. UH OH. Canada post just voted YES to strike literally 2 weeks before my contract with them is supposed to start. They all may walk out as soon as Nov 3rd and my contract starts on Nov 17th ;-;
Like again I’m definitely ALL for unions but!! Uh oh!! My fucking JOB!!! They may strike for longer than my contract even lasts and since I’m part time and wouldn’t have received a pay check at that point I don’t think I’d receive anything from the union fund (which is okay because I wouldn’t feel right taking from it anyway)
I’m hoping the government is gonna bend quickly because of the holiday season but with how profitable Amazon is over the post office I kindaaa think they’re gonna drag it out and test their luck. Which is :(
Fucking MAN.
#apparently college teachers voted yes to strike too but my teacher said it would take a little while for them to actually get a strike to#happen. so I MAY be okay. but now I’m seriously worried about my hours#I’m in plant operations and I’m not super sure how unions work so I’m not sure if that’ll be disrupted? cuz I’ve heard it’s like certain#areas of Canada that strike at a time so people don’t. like. fucking die.#BUT I DONT KNOW THIS IS MY FIRST JOB AND MY FIRST UNION#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#;-;#i guess I’ll have to wait to see what happens but fucking I hate when things start looking up and then BAMMMMMMMM right back down it goes#again I love unions they’re 👍👍 power to the people but like. I’m gonna be devestated#serenade posts
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#i will warn you only once: tsc spoilers#literally just finished it as i am drafting this its 5am where i live#so you may be subjected to some nonsense#that all being said i have thoughts.and feelings#the kevin was lovely and tasted delicious! jean defending him at every turn even when he swears to hell and back he'll kick his ass#the kevjean was surprising i was only half expecting that#the dog metaphors i have to say i need this one cashed in. nora run me my check#im joking of course dont quote me on it#jean taking kevins promise to the end and living on it is seriously so. well.#'be careful with him' 'take kevin's name out of your ignorant mouth' 'you promised me'#also kevin getting called the court's queen had me tender and on my back oml#jean's relationship with the trojans is sweet and he is very interesting and complicated#a character with many moving parts im sure#there were a few things i did not care for#namely jeremy and the trojans felt remarkably flat to me bar lucas (by far the most interesting) and catalina on occasion#i didnt quite enjoy jeremy's pov and felt like he spent perhaps way too much time worrying over jean? if that makes sense#i wish he had some more complexity to him or really anything to catch a hook on#all we know is hes attractive and smiley and gets along terribly with his family#so much of his character is sucked out by jean he didnt feel like much more than a plot device to me#which i wouldnt mind if jeremy wasnt the literal main character alongside jean#i was living for everything jean thought but had to drag myself through jeremy's pov if im honest#uuuuh what else. neil! funny. deranged. i have to love him#andrew couldnt give less of a fuck about jean which is funny as all fuck#two bugs placed in the same habitat ignoring each other#the thing with elodie i thought was complicated. i wish we knew some more about her or that shed been mentioned a little earlier#but im assuming thats a topic to be revisited#uuuuuuuh yeah so thats most of it. i think my first thought and the one that sticked out the most to me is that the book felt remarkably#pedestrian#not necessarily in a bad way#it lacked to me one of the main appeals of aftg which were the numerous interesting side characters
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chapter 256 fueling my ailette/hestio(/tes) delusions, thank you for the food!!!!!
#s-class heroine spoilers#webnovel reaction#hestio ligenel#screaming shrieking and exploding hestio is soooo cute !!!!!#hestio trying his very best not to worry even though hes worrying sooo very much#hestio having to take in a big gulp of air because hes just way too worried#hestio going 'haha of course theres nothing to worry about!' and then just snapping and going of course we're worried!!#wah.... who let him be this cute#hestio rushing to ailette's defence. 😔#i am dead on the ground. deceased.#hestio insulting a prince because how dare he suggest that ailette would spare any effort in protecting tesilid#and dont forget ephael having to jump in to shut him up because he's hestio's impulse control and survival instincts actually#i feel so vindicated that i got that part of their dynamic right#literally so cute that we get introduced to hesphael as ephael being the one who doesnt seem to take things too seriously#and whom prob needs to hv a leash on him at all times lest he get himself in trouble#no.... its hestio who needs a minder. and its in the form of ephael the very guy whom we thought hestio was minding#🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 i love their dynamic#anw hestio's literally so cute. the 'hestio didnt even flinch' to hestio taking a huge gulp of air to 'of course we're worried!!!'#the way you see him spiral with worry and fall apart within like 10 seconds GRRRRRRRRRR#i am very normal about him. the normalest#ailettehestio
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I hate being told how 'strong' I am when I say I'm so tired.
#i know the whole 'black women strong' thing is yknow a thing#but im tired of being 'strong' im tired of 'enduring' and nobody takes me seriously#all ive done all my life is endure and tolerate#I literally hate being alive. i hate being told 'youre too strong to cave' 'youre too smart to do anything bad'#I cannot stress how badly I would throw away my entire life just to belong to someone and not have to worry about it all anymore#like all i want is to either not be alive or to belong to someone to the point I dont have to think about anything anymore#that sound bad but I literally do not care. I would kill for someone to pat my head and wait for them to come home like a lonely puppy#im so tired of being a human when my existence is pain.#the worst thing you can tell a person who is tired of struggling is how good they are at struggling and to keep struggling
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I can't believe the Younger Brother (1689) by Aphra Behn has the only one bed trope
#act iv scene i#olivia is in disguise as mirtilla's page endimion and she's wooing welborn on her own behalf#and welborn is like well im hosting a gentleman in my lodgings right now but u can sleep w me#and olivia is like uhmmm uhmmm i can't do that not for any particular reason i just can't sleep in ur bed#(bc she's modest but she is kinda tempted. but also worried if she denies too hard he might suspect her of being actually a woman)#and he's like what are you afraid my bed's diseased? do u think im gay? im telling u there's nowhere else for us both to sleep#im not gonna make u sleep on the floor kid#PLEASE#the younger brother might be one of my new favorites from behn. i haven't finished it yet but it kinda has everything i love from her#mirtilla in particular is such an interesting character#text post#aphra behn#restoration comedy#in the edition edited by janet todd for vol. 7 of the collected works#i believe it's based off of the original quarto text that was published after behn's death#i highly suspect a lot of this prose dialogue is supposed to be blank verse#SO. MUCH. of it flows exactly like blank verse. it kinda bothers me#i do dream about editing and publishing my own edition of behn's plays and i would definitely amend these to be verse#i wonder if montague summers' version is verse? idk this is the first janet todd edited play ive read#i dont yet know the differences between their editing styles#god i wish more than 2 ppl in history had ever bothered to edit and publish this woman's collected works#oxford world classics should definitely put out another volume of her plays#i love the one they have featuring the rover/feigned courtesans/lucky chance/emperor of the moon#but she's got what like 15 other extant plays? and oxford world classics has the range and capabilities to do it#or if penguin classics ever wants to pretend they're really as good as oxford they can print their own#as far as diversifying the canon and widening the availability of older texts. oxford still beats penguin any day#but it does piss me off that no classic book publishers take this period of early-modern women's drama and proto-novels very seriously#or rather. no big ones that i know other than oxford#im not counting print-on-demand companies that reprint the texts of public domain works w no editing#those serve a purpose but those are not leaders in the publishing industry for a reason. theyre not sposta be
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they rejected my application :(
#i mean i knew that they were going to. i literally do not have the degree they want#but sometimes it feels as if people in this field don't take me seriously because im young lol#like they assume that my experience just Does Not Apply because im not in my 40s#its fine. i never told anyone irl i applied for the job so i don't have to worry about that (ty past me) (i almost said it like 10 times)#when the time comes for me to REALLY start job hunting ill start taking rejections more personally but this was a good experience i think#them giving me a rejection at all and not just ghosting me was actually a huge relief tbh#am i supposed to respond to the rejection email? i guess i will?#dont burn your bridges etc#it feels a little weird saying ty for the opportunity when they didn't even interview me#but this whole corporate bullshit is just empty tradition at this point so whatever#anyway the GOOD news is that my really big name reference told my current boss (as a joke but still) that he wanted to steal me from her#he works for the state which would be an INCREDIBLE opportunity if he was in any way serious#so when the time comes ill be casually mentioning to him that im job hunting and we'll see where it goes#literally every conference ive been to people know his name and ask where he is so im hoping he will have enough pull to let a fresh grad in#two different people (both also rather big names in the field) have told me that he thinks really highly of me#and while working with him was a little bit like pulling teeth i don't really have the option to be choosy rn lol#anyways. im disappointed but not surprised#it was a remote position too :( oh well
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I can't sleep again.
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#лёва паспрабуе АДК#it's not about that. i'm just tired.#(stayed up too late for the first time in a while)#well... it compounded the issues.#i look like some guy with my blurry vision and yet its not enough and i dont know WHY#i do know why. have you ever not been seen?#flipped the coin from independence within my grasp to nothing is ever going to get me out of here#not even 'getting out of there' got me out#i can't wait for guard season again but i'm worried it's only going to put me right back into the depression mines#... seasonal depression notwithstanding#i need to make a choice at auditions and its whether i will be out; as me - and hopefully have a better season because of it#or just... stay like this. forever.#... my consult is right before second auditions pretty much. schedule that month is looking full..#anyways its not fair of me to expect anyone to check in on me#especially when one of my housemates seems to ... Also be going through it#and i can tell you now which of us is actually likely to talk about it and its NOT me#i'm not built for this idk. i never should have taken her up on that job offer.#...... i'm thinking about relapsing again. more seriously considering it.#i KNOW it's not good i KNOW it won't help but i dont know what fucking else will!!!!#remember when it felt like i was getting hobbies again?? so much for that..#.. i need to pull life into my *own* control but i need help to get there#and i can't even imagine being fully independent#... even if i'm taking all the right steps to get there#the MOST annoying revelation was that i could Maybe Actually benefit from therapy and the second most was that if i tell her this there is#almost no way any therapist she finds will be queer friendly#going to dig myself out of it. as always. mostly just not pushing myself right now but GOD does it suck.
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im kinda jealous of how involved american colleges are. like your professors actually take a personal interest in you? my tutors all barely remember peoples names and most of them don’t even try. you have mandatory classes? i went to 1 class out of 13 for one of my units this semester because i couldn’t make myself go. you are failing or need extra credits? the professor can choose to give you some. maybe it’s just my uni but they do NOT give extra credit no matter what. we don’t even get supplementary assessments so if you do badly you’re just fucked. extensions go through the uni itself and not the teaching staff. you have multiple classes per subject a week? ok maybe not all colleges but i feel like if i had more than one to go to i would show up more and would also get to actually know the people in my degree. i am four years into this and i have like. 2 friends who study law and we aren’t even in the same stage of the degree. one of my old unit coordinators was american and she had such a culture shock coming to my uni because of how detached it is. she tried to structure the unit in a way that encouraged students to actually show up to class and get to know people in the classes and she had to change it because it went against uni policy.
#im obviously stereotyping american colleges#but i think the one thing that gets me is that it seems pretty common for american professors to be able to actually help struggling#students#like you can speak to unit coordinators at my uni obviously#but they can only give you advice they can’t actually do anything tangible to help#i think it’s also a My Uni thing#my brothers uni is way more involved#and like i know it’s not always a good thing like it’s a lot harder for people to have jobs when uni is so demanding#but my uni barely has classes we don’t have in person lectures there’s no connection between teaching staff and students#there’s no supplementary assessments (which my brothers uni has and im so jealous)#im graduating at least a semester late now because i had to drop classes before i failed them#and if i had supplementary assessment i might have been able to salvage my grade#ALSO before anyone gets mad at me like i said im stereotyping i know all colleges aren’t like the movies n shit#but all the americans i’ve spoken to who have done college in america seem really shocked with my uni experience#part of me wants to switch unis but at this point im kinda committed and i dont want to have to#worry about credit transfers and repeating classes#and i dont think the other main uni has the same type of double degree im doing anyway#don’t take this too seriously it’s just a vent post
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the aftermath of having 2 terabytes of storage
#i have never had a computer this nice lmao#i'm constantly so used to automatically assuming i Can't Do Most Things bc most of the time i'm barred from Everything#either by physical skill or money or age or location#so when i got a Nice Computer my brain was like STUFF I CAN DO?????????? STUFF I CAN DO!!!!!!!!!!!!#and just. downloaded all the games i haven't been able to play bc my laptop sucks ass#the dopamine rush. lmao#i can actually play skyrim again for the first time since i was 17 😭#genuinely getting this computer has given me the exact same feeling as finally getting my wheelchair#just the fucking sheer joy of *oh my fucking god i have freedom now. i can actually DO STUFF*#seriously being able to use the wheelchair has made me so fucking happy i don't feel awful when going to the store i can actually THINK#bc i dont have brain fog from having to focus all of my energy on staying upright#and the computer is giving me the same feeling of freedom like. i can actually DO STUFF with my computer and not worry about it crashing#i can record video now!!!! I COULD START STREAMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i can actually learn to code because the coding programs will run!!!!!! i can start making datapacks!!!!!!!!!!!!!#can PLAY THE GAMES I'VE BOUGHT OVER THE YEARS FINALLY#FUCKING THANK YOU STEAM FOR LETTING ME KEEP THESE GAMES UNTIL I CAN ACTUALLY PLAY THEM#INSTEAD OF BEING A SHITASS STREAMING SERVICE THAT TAKES AWAY YOUR PRODUCT *AND* MONEY WHENEVER THEY FEEL LIKE IT#like i bought assassins creed odyssey the year it came out and i've never even been able to OPEN it on any of my old computers#i bought Jusant recently because it looks very pretty but the game wouldn't let me download it on my laptop bc the graphics card was shit#i have a bunch of games that I've just hoarded on my steam account for years and now i can finally play them#i can get back to subnautica too!!!! and finally finish out we happy few!!!#anyway im gonna go continue to be insane about this machine i love computers theyre so fun
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Jimmy is aroace and Sarah is VERY supportive about it.
She'd argue to hell and back with anyone who dares to say anything wrong about it to him.
Yes yes I support this!!
I actually started writing dialogue for a possible future comic that's starts out with Jimmy coming out as NB to everyone and Sarah is so aggressively supportive of her friend. She beats up Eddy a lot because it takes him a while to get their pronouns right haha
I also like to think that Jimmy would have possibly been scared to come out to Sarah. What if she didn't support them? Were they ready to face that possibility? They feel like a fool once they do though because of course Sarah supports them with every fiber of her heart and soul no matter who they want to be. To her, they've always been Jimmy, her bestest friend in the whole world. No pronouns, sexuality, rain, sleet, or snow can stand between them.
#torra answers#cute headcanons#i love jimmy with all my heart tbh#i also like to think it was wdd they initially came out to because they knew edd would accept them if nothing else#i love the idea of jimmy and edd having a special kind of friendship#like ofc each one has their main group of friends#but with each other they can be truly honest and not have to worry about judgement#theyre both such kindhearted people#jimmy and sarah are like that too dont get me wrong#but maybe for a brief spell they were afraid of losing her#or worse they were afraid she wouldnt take them seriously#im ramvling too much
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actually, you know what ? im glad my ex gf ghosted me, i dodged a bullet it seems
#this was two years ago and just a few months ago i started getting over it#on the one hand yeah it fucking SUCKS i wish i had had some type of warning instead of radio silence suddently from one day to the other#on the other i was ready to move to texas (me: poc queer fem presenting nd bitch) and was looking seriously jobs over there#and like- i fucking HATE the usa but she was really scared about leaving the states to come to europe- so i was willingly to travel there to#be with her and not put her through that (ive been traveling since childhood so im used to it- but she has certain mental stuff going on and#taking her away from her family and her childhood city was going to be really tough- of course i'd sacrifice my life for hers)#and like im so sorry to everybody who is stuck in the usa right now bcs ur country is treating yall so poorly i feel genuinely bad#but as someone who was planninh to work over there as a teacher..... IM SO FUCKING GLAD I DONT HAVE TO SET FOOT THERE 😭#every single thing i hear about the education system there seems hellish- as well as the teachers' conditions and wages#like over here its not all rainbows and flowers but at least i dont have to worry about school shootings or getting fired for recommending#books from a banned list 💀#ESPECIALLY as a poc latino queer linguistics and literature teacher- i'd love to talk to students about a big range of things- i cannot#imagine having to censor myself or dance around a subject becs “kids are too dumb to understand queerness” “youre trying to groom them”#“dont brainwash em you commie” like ma'am im trying to help your child develop basic empathy and respect for those who dont look like them#like i hear some serious worrying stuff from teachers over there i hope u guys are holding up somehow 😭😭😭#anyways idk how the phrase in english goes but in spanish we say cuando dios cierra una puerta- abre una ventana#(<- trying to look for the positive in getting ghosted by the girl of their dreams)#its fine guys anyways#yeah that was the first LD relationship ive ever had- never trying that again#also i found out im arospec so im definitely not getting into a romantic relationship lmfaoooooo#only QPRs for me now if anything lol#vanya strawberry flavored
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Vent bevause my life sucks ass and The Purge isnt real
#currently stuck sitting up unable to laydown cus its too cold for my dad to leave#was gonna jack off the the depression but obviously cant do that now#and im so clausturphobic with all the trash and stuff#im literally squished into a one by one square for hours upon hours upon hours#and i cant stretch out my chronic pain unless i stand up straight#......i told my therapist im quitting#i realized i go there every weel basically apologizing for not getting anything done#shes really nice im just starting to hear it in her voice that she thinks im not trying or doing as much as i can#its nice to vent to someone but my dad keeps asking what i do at therapy and if its helping#...im very stressed and in so much pain#my dad gets so angry at my emotions and now im squeezed in with no escape#i seriously wanna die and nothing anyone is saying is changing my mind and thats really scary#like....we talked about what would happen to me if my dad died and if id be open to a group home or living with my sister#i cant imagine a world where i dont k!ll myself#my therapist tried to remind me that spring will come. but then summer comes and so do bugs and mold and heat.#i cant do another year of this but i also cant get the courage to actually end it#(only cus im worried that ill survive a pill death and wreck my liver with pain; i dont wanna live with more pain)#if i had a gun this would be easy#i wish i was a kid so that the goverment could force my Dad to get his life right#im a stupid little kid trapped in an adult body#i wish there was someone to call for help :(#but nobody can DO anything. they can only say everything i already know.#i so badly need to be physically saved...#i imagine being kidnapped by a stalker in his warm basement with a bed#:( i need someone to care for me.....#i wish i wasnt so fucking needy i wush i could take care of myself#my helplessness and neediness is ruining my life in more ways than one#my dad acts like im crazy for crying and being depressed......#im 25yrs old and i have to talk about marriage and social workers and stupid deep shit out of nescessity#my sister gets to just live a normal life n get married n do things for herself and be independent she doesnt have to think about deep shit
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literally had to quietly turn off asks on my main because in the last line 2 weeks ive gotten probably 50 asks about that whole situation asking for money. how about no.
i 1. dont have money 2. live in fucking missouri usa 3. dont have any influence nor reach online and 4. refuse to post about that topic on my main blog EVER. because i like my main staying as light hearted as possible.
i am the last person these people should be sending asks to about this.
hell, there was even one that started with 'youre our last hope!!!' no the fuck im not. you probably sent that ask to 100 people. i am no ones last hope.
also apparently im r@cist for thinking that at least a few of these are scams. because there totally couldnt be people taking advantage of this situation to be greedy and awful and scam people. it wouldnt be the first time, nor the last.
it was also just annoying. i never get people talking to me online anymore so when i get asks its usually so exciting... but now it was just dreadful. 'whos gonna try and guilt trip me today?'
seriously, most of them started guilt trippy. at least some of them started polite though.
i know its a huge tragedy and w@r and all that but i dont know why i need to have any part of it. there is nothing i can do about it, and all it would do is make me upset, especially because theres nothing i can do.
and people can tell me all they want 'but there IS something you can do!!' but like... if people are getting killed, i doubt me signing a petition is gonna make them go 'oh, i guess i was wrong to kill people, sorry' like...
and like i said, i dont have reach or influence online. plus, thousands if not millions of people are already posting about this topic CONSTANTLY and saying everything better than i could, and having more reach than i ever will. i think me not posting about it will be fine.
#this whole thing has been going on since before literally all of us were born. probably even since before my dad was born.#like maybe we can sway it around and shit but i doubt itll end anytime soon.#thats awful to say and it feels awful to say because i know its horrible but#thats just how it feels to me#plus i dont like the idea of making things about countries. its the government. its always the government#but anyone who says 'dont blame the everyday people for this' and shit are called g3noclde apologists#seriously. every single time someone calls a celebrity that and i look up what they ACTUALLY said. its ALWAYS THAT.#its not 'wow im so glad that people are dying and i love the government for it!'#its ALWAYS 'hey please dont hate the everyday people who are just trying to live their lives in that country'#its begging you to not see things as purely black and white and begging you to not harass people who have nothing to do with it#not to mention all the @ntlsemltlsm people are throwing around#dude most celebrities saying that stuff are j3wlsh too. like ive seen maybe one g0y say that and the rest were j3wlsh#idk how much i need to censor but i dont want people finding this im just ranting#hot take that could get me killed if people found it but#everyone else is worrying about one side. i think its fine if some people worry about the innocent people on the other side. someone has to.#like. even with the other w@r that started a few years ago. that one sucks too but i couldnt help but worry about my russlan friend#i hope hes still doing okay. he seemed to be last i saw him
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