#like i dont have to worry about taking it too seriously
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MSPaint Michael dump
#at this point my mspaint art folder is bigger than my fr art folder#mspaint#tma#michael shelley#michael distortion#theres juts something theraputic about drawing in mspaint to me#like i dont have to worry about taking it too seriously#i can juts doodle with my mouse and listen to youtube#anyways i have more but most of them are weird because theyre like drawn to go along with stuff ive made with my S2S ai voice model of shel#shelley* hit the tag lenght limit#i just vibe w pre distortion michael ok i want a happy ending for my boi
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i know too fucking much about qsmp badboyhalo.
#and also. not enough#that one big summary of his Deal was like . 1k words.#and it brushed over so much shit#like his trust issues and the vacation arc and his criminal background (on qsmp) and the way he was the first to take protecting the#eggs seriously and i dont even KNOW enough about his relationship with maxo and the french that is a big blindspot for me but bad and max#(and foolish?) og founders of the theory bros the first people who started questioning cucurucho and then the french his family the people#who keep proving to be on his side over and over and i love it when he hangs out with pierre and talks create#and when he chills with antoine and helps fix the big spinning ring#and his WEIRD warrior's bond with etoiles (bad always gets along with the protectors have you noticed that#forever was the second big egg protector and baghera took care of pomme from the start and cellbit threw himself to the feds to try to help#the island and etoiles took the weight of the code attacks from bad's shoulders to his own in entirety. he respects them all a lot and i am#chewing him to pieces)#and his relationship with baghera!!!! she can read him so so well and he fucking trusts her enough to be dapper's mom#he may have felt weird about it and was jealous and :c because tahts HIS dapper but#he didn't kill her about it#or really do anything to discourage it#and he noticed her tear streaks and her leg and got Worried about the federation 'fixing' her and#genuinely he was so so happy when he realized she was back he went !!! mode#look. LOOK at these fucking tags. look back at the post. i can Keep Talking.#my point remains i know too fucking much about qsmp badboyhalo#shit and i didn't even TALK about his weird bullshit with foolish#i need a giant corkboard
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gamers I love unions and everything but Uh Oh. UH OH. Canada post just voted YES to strike literally 2 weeks before my contract with them is supposed to start. They all may walk out as soon as Nov 3rd and my contract starts on Nov 17th ;-;
Like again I’m definitely ALL for unions but!! Uh oh!! My fucking JOB!!! They may strike for longer than my contract even lasts and since I’m part time and wouldn’t have received a pay check at that point I don’t think I’d receive anything from the union fund (which is okay because I wouldn’t feel right taking from it anyway)
I’m hoping the government is gonna bend quickly because of the holiday season but with how profitable Amazon is over the post office I kindaaa think they’re gonna drag it out and test their luck. Which is :(
Fucking MAN.
#apparently college teachers voted yes to strike too but my teacher said it would take a little while for them to actually get a strike to#happen. so I MAY be okay. but now I’m seriously worried about my hours#I’m in plant operations and I’m not super sure how unions work so I’m not sure if that’ll be disrupted? cuz I’ve heard it’s like certain#areas of Canada that strike at a time so people don’t. like. fucking die.#BUT I DONT KNOW THIS IS MY FIRST JOB AND MY FIRST UNION#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#;-;#i guess I’ll have to wait to see what happens but fucking I hate when things start looking up and then BAMMMMMMMM right back down it goes#again I love unions they’re 👍👍 power to the people but like. I’m gonna be devestated#serenade posts
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chapter 256 fueling my ailette/hestio(/tes) delusions, thank you for the food!!!!!




#s-class heroine spoilers#webnovel reaction#hestio ligenel#screaming shrieking and exploding hestio is soooo cute !!!!!#hestio trying his very best not to worry even though hes worrying sooo very much#hestio having to take in a big gulp of air because hes just way too worried#hestio going 'haha of course theres nothing to worry about!' and then just snapping and going of course we're worried!!#wah.... who let him be this cute#hestio rushing to ailette's defence. 😔#i am dead on the ground. deceased.#hestio insulting a prince because how dare he suggest that ailette would spare any effort in protecting tesilid#and dont forget ephael having to jump in to shut him up because he's hestio's impulse control and survival instincts actually#i feel so vindicated that i got that part of their dynamic right#literally so cute that we get introduced to hesphael as ephael being the one who doesnt seem to take things too seriously#and whom prob needs to hv a leash on him at all times lest he get himself in trouble#no.... its hestio who needs a minder. and its in the form of ephael the very guy whom we thought hestio was minding#🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 i love their dynamic#anw hestio's literally so cute. the 'hestio didnt even flinch' to hestio taking a huge gulp of air to 'of course we're worried!!!'#the way you see him spiral with worry and fall apart within like 10 seconds GRRRRRRRRRR#i am very normal about him. the normalest#ailettehestio
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#i will warn you only once: tsc spoilers#literally just finished it as i am drafting this its 5am where i live#so you may be subjected to some nonsense#that all being said i have thoughts.and feelings#the kevin was lovely and tasted delicious! jean defending him at every turn even when he swears to hell and back he'll kick his ass#the kevjean was surprising i was only half expecting that#the dog metaphors i have to say i need this one cashed in. nora run me my check#im joking of course dont quote me on it#jean taking kevins promise to the end and living on it is seriously so. well.#'be careful with him' 'take kevin's name out of your ignorant mouth' 'you promised me'#also kevin getting called the court's queen had me tender and on my back oml#jean's relationship with the trojans is sweet and he is very interesting and complicated#a character with many moving parts im sure#there were a few things i did not care for#namely jeremy and the trojans felt remarkably flat to me bar lucas (by far the most interesting) and catalina on occasion#i didnt quite enjoy jeremy's pov and felt like he spent perhaps way too much time worrying over jean? if that makes sense#i wish he had some more complexity to him or really anything to catch a hook on#all we know is hes attractive and smiley and gets along terribly with his family#so much of his character is sucked out by jean he didnt feel like much more than a plot device to me#which i wouldnt mind if jeremy wasnt the literal main character alongside jean#i was living for everything jean thought but had to drag myself through jeremy's pov if im honest#uuuuh what else. neil! funny. deranged. i have to love him#andrew couldnt give less of a fuck about jean which is funny as all fuck#two bugs placed in the same habitat ignoring each other#the thing with elodie i thought was complicated. i wish we knew some more about her or that shed been mentioned a little earlier#but im assuming thats a topic to be revisited#uuuuuuuh yeah so thats most of it. i think my first thought and the one that sticked out the most to me is that the book felt remarkably#pedestrian#not necessarily in a bad way#it lacked to me one of the main appeals of aftg which were the numerous interesting side characters
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I hate being told how 'strong' I am when I say I'm so tired.
#i know the whole 'black women strong' thing is yknow a thing#but im tired of being 'strong' im tired of 'enduring' and nobody takes me seriously#all ive done all my life is endure and tolerate#I literally hate being alive. i hate being told 'youre too strong to cave' 'youre too smart to do anything bad'#I cannot stress how badly I would throw away my entire life just to belong to someone and not have to worry about it all anymore#like all i want is to either not be alive or to belong to someone to the point I dont have to think about anything anymore#that sound bad but I literally do not care. I would kill for someone to pat my head and wait for them to come home like a lonely puppy#im so tired of being a human when my existence is pain.#the worst thing you can tell a person who is tired of struggling is how good they are at struggling and to keep struggling
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I can't believe the Younger Brother (1689) by Aphra Behn has the only one bed trope
#act iv scene i#olivia is in disguise as mirtilla's page endimion and she's wooing welborn on her own behalf#and welborn is like well im hosting a gentleman in my lodgings right now but u can sleep w me#and olivia is like uhmmm uhmmm i can't do that not for any particular reason i just can't sleep in ur bed#(bc she's modest but she is kinda tempted. but also worried if she denies too hard he might suspect her of being actually a woman)#and he's like what are you afraid my bed's diseased? do u think im gay? im telling u there's nowhere else for us both to sleep#im not gonna make u sleep on the floor kid#PLEASE#the younger brother might be one of my new favorites from behn. i haven't finished it yet but it kinda has everything i love from her#mirtilla in particular is such an interesting character#text post#aphra behn#restoration comedy#in the edition edited by janet todd for vol. 7 of the collected works#i believe it's based off of the original quarto text that was published after behn's death#i highly suspect a lot of this prose dialogue is supposed to be blank verse#SO. MUCH. of it flows exactly like blank verse. it kinda bothers me#i do dream about editing and publishing my own edition of behn's plays and i would definitely amend these to be verse#i wonder if montague summers' version is verse? idk this is the first janet todd edited play ive read#i dont yet know the differences between their editing styles#god i wish more than 2 ppl in history had ever bothered to edit and publish this woman's collected works#oxford world classics should definitely put out another volume of her plays#i love the one they have featuring the rover/feigned courtesans/lucky chance/emperor of the moon#but she's got what like 15 other extant plays? and oxford world classics has the range and capabilities to do it#or if penguin classics ever wants to pretend they're really as good as oxford they can print their own#as far as diversifying the canon and widening the availability of older texts. oxford still beats penguin any day#but it does piss me off that no classic book publishers take this period of early-modern women's drama and proto-novels very seriously#or rather. no big ones that i know other than oxford#im not counting print-on-demand companies that reprint the texts of public domain works w no editing#those serve a purpose but those are not leaders in the publishing industry for a reason. theyre not sposta be
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they rejected my application :(
#i mean i knew that they were going to. i literally do not have the degree they want#but sometimes it feels as if people in this field don't take me seriously because im young lol#like they assume that my experience just Does Not Apply because im not in my 40s#its fine. i never told anyone irl i applied for the job so i don't have to worry about that (ty past me) (i almost said it like 10 times)#when the time comes for me to REALLY start job hunting ill start taking rejections more personally but this was a good experience i think#them giving me a rejection at all and not just ghosting me was actually a huge relief tbh#am i supposed to respond to the rejection email? i guess i will?#dont burn your bridges etc#it feels a little weird saying ty for the opportunity when they didn't even interview me#but this whole corporate bullshit is just empty tradition at this point so whatever#anyway the GOOD news is that my really big name reference told my current boss (as a joke but still) that he wanted to steal me from her#he works for the state which would be an INCREDIBLE opportunity if he was in any way serious#so when the time comes ill be casually mentioning to him that im job hunting and we'll see where it goes#literally every conference ive been to people know his name and ask where he is so im hoping he will have enough pull to let a fresh grad in#two different people (both also rather big names in the field) have told me that he thinks really highly of me#and while working with him was a little bit like pulling teeth i don't really have the option to be choosy rn lol#anyways. im disappointed but not surprised#it was a remote position too :( oh well
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I can't sleep again.
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#лёва паспрабуе АДК#it's not about that. i'm just tired.#(stayed up too late for the first time in a while)#well... it compounded the issues.#i look like some guy with my blurry vision and yet its not enough and i dont know WHY#i do know why. have you ever not been seen?#flipped the coin from independence within my grasp to nothing is ever going to get me out of here#not even 'getting out of there' got me out#i can't wait for guard season again but i'm worried it's only going to put me right back into the depression mines#... seasonal depression notwithstanding#i need to make a choice at auditions and its whether i will be out; as me - and hopefully have a better season because of it#or just... stay like this. forever.#... my consult is right before second auditions pretty much. schedule that month is looking full..#anyways its not fair of me to expect anyone to check in on me#especially when one of my housemates seems to ... Also be going through it#and i can tell you now which of us is actually likely to talk about it and its NOT me#i'm not built for this idk. i never should have taken her up on that job offer.#...... i'm thinking about relapsing again. more seriously considering it.#i KNOW it's not good i KNOW it won't help but i dont know what fucking else will!!!!#remember when it felt like i was getting hobbies again?? so much for that..#.. i need to pull life into my *own* control but i need help to get there#and i can't even imagine being fully independent#... even if i'm taking all the right steps to get there#the MOST annoying revelation was that i could Maybe Actually benefit from therapy and the second most was that if i tell her this there is#almost no way any therapist she finds will be queer friendly#going to dig myself out of it. as always. mostly just not pushing myself right now but GOD does it suck.
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im kinda jealous of how involved american colleges are. like your professors actually take a personal interest in you? my tutors all barely remember peoples names and most of them don’t even try. you have mandatory classes? i went to 1 class out of 13 for one of my units this semester because i couldn’t make myself go. you are failing or need extra credits? the professor can choose to give you some. maybe it’s just my uni but they do NOT give extra credit no matter what. we don’t even get supplementary assessments so if you do badly you’re just fucked. extensions go through the uni itself and not the teaching staff. you have multiple classes per subject a week? ok maybe not all colleges but i feel like if i had more than one to go to i would show up more and would also get to actually know the people in my degree. i am four years into this and i have like. 2 friends who study law and we aren’t even in the same stage of the degree. one of my old unit coordinators was american and she had such a culture shock coming to my uni because of how detached it is. she tried to structure the unit in a way that encouraged students to actually show up to class and get to know people in the classes and she had to change it because it went against uni policy.
#im obviously stereotyping american colleges#but i think the one thing that gets me is that it seems pretty common for american professors to be able to actually help struggling#students#like you can speak to unit coordinators at my uni obviously#but they can only give you advice they can’t actually do anything tangible to help#i think it’s also a My Uni thing#my brothers uni is way more involved#and like i know it’s not always a good thing like it’s a lot harder for people to have jobs when uni is so demanding#but my uni barely has classes we don’t have in person lectures there’s no connection between teaching staff and students#there’s no supplementary assessments (which my brothers uni has and im so jealous)#im graduating at least a semester late now because i had to drop classes before i failed them#and if i had supplementary assessment i might have been able to salvage my grade#ALSO before anyone gets mad at me like i said im stereotyping i know all colleges aren’t like the movies n shit#but all the americans i’ve spoken to who have done college in america seem really shocked with my uni experience#part of me wants to switch unis but at this point im kinda committed and i dont want to have to#worry about credit transfers and repeating classes#and i dont think the other main uni has the same type of double degree im doing anyway#don’t take this too seriously it’s just a vent post
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Jimmy is aroace and Sarah is VERY supportive about it.
She'd argue to hell and back with anyone who dares to say anything wrong about it to him.
Yes yes I support this!!
I actually started writing dialogue for a possible future comic that's starts out with Jimmy coming out as NB to everyone and Sarah is so aggressively supportive of her friend. She beats up Eddy a lot because it takes him a while to get their pronouns right haha
I also like to think that Jimmy would have possibly been scared to come out to Sarah. What if she didn't support them? Were they ready to face that possibility? They feel like a fool once they do though because of course Sarah supports them with every fiber of her heart and soul no matter who they want to be. To her, they've always been Jimmy, her bestest friend in the whole world. No pronouns, sexuality, rain, sleet, or snow can stand between them.
#torra answers#cute headcanons#i love jimmy with all my heart tbh#i also like to think it was wdd they initially came out to because they knew edd would accept them if nothing else#i love the idea of jimmy and edd having a special kind of friendship#like ofc each one has their main group of friends#but with each other they can be truly honest and not have to worry about judgement#theyre both such kindhearted people#jimmy and sarah are like that too dont get me wrong#but maybe for a brief spell they were afraid of losing her#or worse they were afraid she wouldnt take them seriously#im ramvling too much
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wish i could slap the apathy out of trans channers
#you might think its the one trait that just makes you oh sew kewl but i am so fucking bored of you.#being apathetic might as well be an admission to your uselessness.#we get it you provide nothing of meaning to society and never care about anything ever bc you cry like a bitch when you feel your emotions#we really do get it dude.#which ~i~ dont think theres anything wrong with crying like a bitch but i sure as fuck know you do lmao.#cant be vulnerable ever what if all the other edgy memelords see me and make fun of me and i lose all of my coolness status D':#its a you problem if you actually think random memelords opinion online matters lmao#literal bottom of the barrel ass people that you care about the opinions of. wish you'd care more about the opinion of your mom or#something then maybe you'd actually be useful to society in some capacity#but of course we cant have that bc your mom is a vagina-haver and as we all know all vagina havers besides the ones who've converted#to the 4chan irony poisoned cult are Evil and Robots and Should Never Be Listened To Or Taken Seriously.#and the ones who do join should hate and feel ashamed about having a vachina bc as we all know in 4chan land a place overwhelmingly#ruled by cishet men is that penis's are the most important thing and vaginas are lesser than so honestly just never admit that you have one#anyways this is a totally normal and fine way to think about other humans. to dehumanise and treat them as less than for their#genitals that they have no control over how they are unless you wanna get surgery which is already shamed everywhere too.#and i already know w/o having to be on there that theyre routinely dehumanizing non op trans women too and im worried that some#of yall just think its a kink meanwhile the cis guys doing it dont think of it as just a kink. and want to enslave you. like actually.#in this regard i love to be a party pooper bc i want you to love yourself and take care of yourself and know you deserve better than to#ACTUALLY- not kink related- be treated less than by these shit cishet dudes.#you deserve to be treated better and more than just like a fucking sex toy. maybe thats your thing but you gotta know you deserve better#outside of kink settings. please. for me. i want you to love yourself and take care of yourself and defend yourself from shitheads.
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hhhHHHHHHNHHGh
#sorry im fine dont worry just the sudden dysphoria attack.#sometimes i genuinely consider just changing everything about my style and my tastes just to 'pass' better#not bc i actually care about that but bc i just want to be *believed*#and i know no one in my life who knows me in person would believe im a man because of my style and my tastes#even though cis men with the exact same style and tastes exist#and *i* know it makes me no less of a man but *they* wont know#and god it just feels like ASS#sometimes i wanna throw out all my dresses and skirts and anything pink and dye my hair back to brown and get boring glasses again#just. i wont ever do that because i value myself too much but it feels like i have to for anyone to take me seriously#this suuuuuuuuucks
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Vent bevause my life sucks ass and The Purge isnt real
#currently stuck sitting up unable to laydown cus its too cold for my dad to leave#was gonna jack off the the depression but obviously cant do that now#and im so clausturphobic with all the trash and stuff#im literally squished into a one by one square for hours upon hours upon hours#and i cant stretch out my chronic pain unless i stand up straight#......i told my therapist im quitting#i realized i go there every weel basically apologizing for not getting anything done#shes really nice im just starting to hear it in her voice that she thinks im not trying or doing as much as i can#its nice to vent to someone but my dad keeps asking what i do at therapy and if its helping#...im very stressed and in so much pain#my dad gets so angry at my emotions and now im squeezed in with no escape#i seriously wanna die and nothing anyone is saying is changing my mind and thats really scary#like....we talked about what would happen to me if my dad died and if id be open to a group home or living with my sister#i cant imagine a world where i dont k!ll myself#my therapist tried to remind me that spring will come. but then summer comes and so do bugs and mold and heat.#i cant do another year of this but i also cant get the courage to actually end it#(only cus im worried that ill survive a pill death and wreck my liver with pain; i dont wanna live with more pain)#if i had a gun this would be easy#i wish i was a kid so that the goverment could force my Dad to get his life right#im a stupid little kid trapped in an adult body#i wish there was someone to call for help :(#but nobody can DO anything. they can only say everything i already know.#i so badly need to be physically saved...#i imagine being kidnapped by a stalker in his warm basement with a bed#:( i need someone to care for me.....#i wish i wasnt so fucking needy i wush i could take care of myself#my helplessness and neediness is ruining my life in more ways than one#my dad acts like im crazy for crying and being depressed......#im 25yrs old and i have to talk about marriage and social workers and stupid deep shit out of nescessity#my sister gets to just live a normal life n get married n do things for herself and be independent she doesnt have to think about deep shit
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desperate male lead syndrome is making a strong comeback in 2024 and i’m here for it!! so i wrote about this annoying loser (your honour i love him so much)
husband atsumu drabble because this is what the people want ^^ (i’m people)

“baby, don’t go looking at yer’ poor husband like that..” atsumu pouts, poking your cheeks at the sight of your evidently disdained face.
okay. you could go do that. you could also just forget the broken ceramic on the floor, still not cleaned up because atsumu would rather make amends with you first than cleaning up the potential risk that was right infront of you both.
honestly, you couldn’t tell whether you should be glad, or concerned.
“i’m not mad at you,’ you say, the expression on your face clearly betraying your words. “don’t worry about it, atsumu.”
you thought that maybe your words would ease the blonde man’s resolve, however it seemed to have only made it worse for him.
“atsumu?! no baby, no love, no ‘tsumu?!” he stresses, hands going up to his mouth.
you stare at his rather dramatic delivery,—and was that the life in his eyes flying away?? he looks like a modern rendition of casper the ghost.
“i’ll do the dishes for a week, no,—a month! i’ll buy ya’ those heels ya’ told me not to buy at the mall!!” atsumu frantically spouts, saying anything he could think of as he continues to cling onto your figure, his face mushing onto your neck and shoulder area.
you shut your eyes. just.. how could you stay annoyed? look at his pouty face, how his ears seemed to be more red than the rest of his skins current complexion. he practically made it impossible for you to even be the least bit mad, and you would’ve felt as guilty as a convict for even attempting to do so. that’s the kind of effect he had on you.
in response, you merely sigh. but there wasn’t any bark to it. “or, you could clean up the shattered pot on the floor.” you say, making sure to bring your tone to a more gentle and reassuring one.
atsumu turns to at you once again, his blonde locks tickling your skin as he moves.
“yer’ not mad anymore?” he beams. “i mean, we could always make another pot, right? how ‘bout it?” he says, hopeful eyes staring directly to your orbs.
in all realness, you genuinely weren’t mad at him, —(as much as he would sulk and say you definitely were), no. you were just sad at the fact that you and atsumu’s ceramic that you both had worked so hard to sculpt and paint on your first date was now shattered on the floor, all but beyond repair.
“i was never mad at you, promise.” you say. “just a bit disappointed. i liked that pot a lot, you know.” your hand reaches for atsumu’s cheek, pinching it slightly. physical touch always seemed to reassure him more than anything else.
atsumu mentally notes that he should make you breakfast in bed the following morning as he stares at your affirming expression. he plants various of pecks on your face after doing so.
“i’m sorry, princess.” atsumu coo’s, his hand pushing away the little hairs on your forehead as he plants a kiss on it.
“i’ll make it up to ya’, i promise.”
— • —
now, you know that you most definitely shouldn’t be all too surprised, considering that, well, —this was miya atsumu we were talking about,
but seriously….
you stare at the little bundle of fur politely sitting on your lap as you rub your eyes, just having come out of your nights sleep. you also happen to notice the smell of pancakes and hot chocolate coming from the bedside table.
“ ‘tsumu, where—?..no, when did you get this dog?”
“i have my ways.” he proudly grins. “but look, it’s yer’ favourite breed!”
“….yes, i know. but where did you—“
“we have a daughter now, hehe.”
“since when did i agre—“
“so adorable, definitely takes after her mommy and daddy. look at the bow on her head!”
“ ‘tsum-“
“i love you.”
“dont change the subject!”
——————————————————————————
atsumu brainrot is real and clocking me out (kageyama i can explain)
update: TYSM for 1k+ notes omg ??!! thank u all for loving this loserboy with me i feel so heard 😢😢🙏🏽
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