#like i don't care how old the fic is
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Um if you write Jason having to get drugs for Catherine I want you dead btw. Not only does it tell me you assume the average drug dealer would give the hard shit to a very small child and then not supervise them at all (classist stereotype that all drug dealers are inherently evil + lazy writing with no grasp on reality) and you genuinely think that Catherine was CONSTANTLY high, as if that's even possible without overdosing far sooner than she did. That's without even getting into the bad mom Catherine propaganda.
#dc#jason todd#Catherine Todd#I don't like talking about personal shit on the Internet#but I'm someone who grew up in a family of addicts and dealers and the attitude so many of these fics have#is so fucked up#like yeah my uncle would give a 15 year old weed but he won't even let them be in the house while he's doing coke#every dealer I've ever met had been THRILLED about my enthusiasm towards school and they always encouraged me#Multiple of them have given me actual job opportunities because they know a lot of people and they help their own#you guys actually just hate poor people and demonize addiction!#it's actually starting to piss me off#you don't have to write Cathy as a perfect example of morality#but if you turn her into a neglectful monster I assume you're either classist or projecting#it actually is possible to write Jason parentifying himself in order to take care of Cathy#without blaming a terminally ill woman who was already dying and likely in immense pain#you guys could be critiquing capitalism and our healthcare system and how it fails the most vulnerable people in our society#but instead you're playing up how gross and evil addicts and dealers and petty crooks are to make Jason's lige sadder???#his life already sucks you don't have to be classist to make it worse I promise
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Pokémon Masters EX spoilers ahead!
Kabu likes to play TAG with his pokemon... and he's shown to have a much softer side beneath his strictness in pokemas too... he's so grandpa-shaped to me 😭💖
#you guys have to know that today has been an eventful day for me. like... non-stop serotonin because I got one good news after another#(i celebrated my ultimate ship's day + speed-run and sacrificed sleep to post 2 fics for today's sake + successfully bought prints of said#ship with two of my bird app friends + successfully secured a birthday cafe event for a character in my city where i can meet said friends)#like. my heart was in OVERDRIVE 😭😭😭 adding kabu to the lodge has me falling off the bed from how much i giggled and rolled on it 😭😭😭#i need to replay swsh but i swear he wasn't this gentle and caring in the games 😭💗 like this scary old grandpa is actually very soft 🥺🫶#my head is spinning from thinking about how good his gym trainers' morales are with him keeping it up. or how he must be well-loved in#motostoke for not just being an encouraging gym leader but also an approachable and kind citizen. no wonder nessa and milo regularly hangs#out with kabu and that he and raihan are tor-colleagues 😭😭😭 he's actually so earnest in showing that he cares for others with each line#ossan you have to tell me which of your pokemon plays tag the best!!! and is that how you wind down after training!!! 😭💗#giving pokemas writers a big smooch on their foreheads because they're so genius for this man. yes it is a cash grab but they're doing kabu#sooo much justice too with each of his appearance... like yeah take my gems for once! you actually did a splendid job for my favorite ojisa#i don't know if i'm just still a 6 y.o girlie loving kazuhiko inoue's kakashi or i'm just itching for familial tenderness but man. he's suc#a comfort character to me now... i didn't expect that in 2024 but i'm grateful i could pull him and enjoy talks with this ossan now 🥺🫶#gym leader kabu#pokemon kabu#pokemon sword and shield#pokemon swsh#pokemon masters ex#pokemas#pmex#pokemon masters ex spoilers#pmex spoilers#pokemas spoilers#swsh#galar#pasio#trainer lodge
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fics that have forever altered my brain chemistry
(organized by fandom)
Grishaverse
read me poetry by dead men by demigodbeautiies
Major Character Death (but like, he's already dead)
Jesper Fahey/Wylan Van Eck, background Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa, ghosts, ghosts only exist in the moments they are remembered, Non-Linear Narrative, Hurt Hurt Hurt Hurt/Comfort, this one will leave you actually sobbing, implied sexual content
Word Count: 16792 words. 1/1 chapter
Summary:
Wylan suits bright colours better than anything else: especially the warm tones that bring out the gold shine in his hair. He doesn’t look good in black.
Or: Jesper watches the living carry on without him.
origami butterflies by focacciaherbs
Jesper Fahey/Wylan Van Eck, Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa, Background Nina/Matthias, road trips with a stranger, first meeting, modern au, miscommunications, so much bickering, Jan Van Ick is a terrible father but karma catches up to him eventually, implied sexual content (not really)
Word Count: 54536 words. 8/8 chapters
Summary:
“Are you Jesper Fahey?” Just say no, Jesper thinks as he stares at the man in front of him. Deny it and drive off. “Yeah, that’s me.” He sighs. “Get in.”
or: as part of a job for kaz, jesper agrees to drive a weird, annoying, definitely not at all attractive stranger across the country. shenanigans ensue.
Only One Reasonable Plea by Frick6101719
fear of noncon (it doesn't happen, and Kaz never has that intention, but Inej is very convinced that it might for a moment)
Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa, Inej's early days in the Dregs, she also gets a better explanation of her contract with the dregs, Kaz is trying his best to be a good boss but he is just so confused and emotionally incompetent sometimes
Word Count: 3883 words. 1/1 chapter
Summary:
Inej realises that she was so eager to leave the Menagerie she neglected to ask a few important questions about just what her duties as a Dreg would be, and what exactly her new boss expects from her.
a good myth is hard to kill by MajorGodComplex
Kaz Brekker/Darkling, Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa, Kaz Brekker/Jesper Fahey (kind of), Sun Summoner Kaz, Canon-Typical Violence, Mostly Kazling, unhealthy relationships, the slowest of burns (death threats are involved), Kaz learns how to open up to people the hard way, meanwhile the Darkling is busy gaslight-gatekeep-girlbossing, no seriously is gets bad, the Crows have so many shenanigans, oh and Nikolai is there too I guess
Word Count: 231561 words. 97/97 chapters
Summary:
“Kaz Brekker…Sun Summoner...I’ve been waiting a long time for you.” “Hope that means you’ve built patience, then, because I anticipate you’re going to wait a fair bit more.”
Kaz is the Sun Summoner, and boy is he pissed about it.
Batman Media
what you're longing for (you claim to abhor) by ghost-bxrd
Violence (mostly canon-typical, but there are some graphic-er parts)
They're All Good Siblings, Identity Reveal, jason pretends to be a hallucination, the bats get kidnapped far too many times to be healthy for them but it's ✨for the plot✨, the batfam has a collective identity crisis about Red Hood, Hurt/Comfort, oops Jason accidentally got emotionally attached to someone he's supposed to hate
Word Count: 52036 words. 12/12 chapters
Summary:
He smiles, all teeth, “Come on Replacement, I even got to the door with both legs busted. This should be nothing.” “You’re right. Jason… Jason wouldn’t have given up. He would fight, I can still—“ The boy wobbles, and Jason has to suppress the mortifying impulse to jump to his aid. “I can still fight. Batman needs me.” “That’s a terrible idea,” he muses aloud, and if there’s a hint of real concern somewhere under all the roiling green, well, nobody can prove it.
aka. the not-actual-hallucination Jason Todd tries the less hands on approach to getting revenge. It ends up backfiring spectacularly.
aka. the non traditional way to (reluctantly) reintegrate into the family after being dead, coming back to life, and becoming a crime lord, Jason "Red Hood" Todd edition
On The Record by oldmannapping
Social Media, Crack Treating Seriously, mostly about Roy & Bernard & Jason but there's a bunch of other characters in there too, mini stories and vignettes that kind of connect
Word Count: 9,652 words. 7/? chapters
Summary:
Bernard and Roy start a TikTok page. Red Hood reads thirst tweets. Nightwing is a troll. Roy gets candid.
Gotham isn't prepared.
I will probably add to this...
#I will probably also edit this all later because it is currently like... 3am#Go read these fics. and then comment about them on ao3. and then yell at them on Tumblr about how amazing their writing is#go on. do it#I don't care if the fic is 10 minutes old or 10000 years. you WILL read them.#I'm writing them all down here so that I never lose them#fic rec#fanfiction#ao3#jesper fahey#wylan van eck#inej ghafa#kaz brekker#the darkling#kanej#wesper#batfam#batman#jason todd#tim drake#bruce wayne#dick grayson#barbara gordon
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i wish there was a space for actual adults within this fandom. i guess i will have to create it, even if it's just me and other five people and a shoelace. i wonder how this whole thing is gonna develop!
#personal#the entire internet but also this fandom specifically is infested with ppl whose reading comprehension is lower than a 6th grader's#can't a gal enjoy a middle-aged actress without being pestered by toddlers with pitchforks#and i know i'm the pettiest bitch but i am ANNOYED esp when i see how old these ppl are. if you're over 25 you have no excuse daskjfhg#like i have cut my audience in half at least! if not more with this fic#but i'm happy bc i'm producing content i wanna produce#i wonder how my new fics are gonna be received#after i finish “particular” i have another thing coming up that ppl probs won't like lol#but i think it's important i post it#and then we have murder mysteries and gothic horror and wooooo you know#it's gonna be fun! and a bit disturbing!#wonder if imma be dragged on twitter again lol#but i sincerely hope no one will care lol#honestly i never expected ppl to care THAT much but i guess they did#it also annoys me that a concerningly small amount seems to care abt the actual quality of writing#and i'm over here agonising about Stylistic Choices(TM) lol#i feel like it flies over ppl's heads and they just wanna read abt larissa weems fucking them with a shapeshifted dick#which okay i guess but also what abt Literature#you could do smth creative with a shapeshifting character just saying. and include your magic cocks or whatever tf you're into#ah i am fuming in vain i will just write my lil fics and hope i don't get a new influx of kys messages lol
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New dad lore unlocked, what the fuck do you mean your friend knew Luca di Montezemolo so you did a test drive with a Ferrari once
#begging my dad to stop being so much cooler than me#me: I get into f1#dad: Have I ever told you about that time I drove a Ferrari on Circuito di Fiorano#f1#formula 1#ferrari#luca di montezemolo#I guess#my dad if I ever became religious: Have I told you about that time I met God#me at 21: maybe vroom vroom cars can bring me out of depression#my dad at (almost) 60: oh yes minor anectodote I met the guy Niki Lauda won two championship with#I can't stress enough how this is so fucking unreal my family does not come even close to the kind of money LdM makes#We are NOT the kind of people who would casually hang with a millionaire#Also I genuinely believe my dad's friend must have been sketchy to know LdM#I also feel like I can never read my two eye anymore like even the tag of an ao3 fic with Luca di Montezemolo#'Luca di Montezemolo/Niki Lauda' you mean my dad's friend's friend?????????#now I feel like I have a weird distant relationship with this guy#like I know I don't know him and maybe it's my problem that I think of old formula 1 people like that#but I sort of divorce mentally from the fact that old formula 1 grid are actual people they're like distant characters from a complex#mythology#and now I feel like if I was a paesant in ancient Greece and my dad just told me he partied with Dionysius once#does it make sense#rip LdM I don't feel comfortable watching your pictures from the 70s thinking slay twink anymore#I will miss saying you have American Next Top Model hips#do you think it's ethically correct to objectify some twink from the 70s if your dad met him#I know he is still alive now and he's old and stuff I don't care there ard two Luce di Montezemolo in my head one is the one still alive#and I don't give a fuck about him the other is still photogtaph from the 70s and gives me gender envy
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forever wishing that they made a boolean filtering system on ao3
#if there is such a way and im simply not doing it right please tell me#like for example#i want to read fics about daredevil or spider-man#i dont necessarily need to read fics about crossovers between the two#so i could do daredevil OR spider-man#but i only know how to do daredevil AND spider-man exclusively#and then of course the “exclude these tags” list which is very helpful#it would be so nice tho like#what if I'm in the mood for some good old found family comfort fics#and i don't necessarily care which fandom it's in#can i give it multiple parameters to sort through without making it exclusively search for all of those parameters???#¯\_(ツ)_/¯#elf rants#ao3#archive of our own#fanfiction#<- hoping a fanfic expert™ will find this post and tell me how to do it#fandom tag
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idk the "i only know a few mutuals of ieva’s from mutual friends while i was ceneid (who i won’t be mentioning here), but i do know a few, and i havent ever followed (or even heard) of a private blog from them." part gets me because me and ivy are friends (i love you ivy <3) and elise had this blog. elise was on this blog. she had a tag. THIS IS A PRIVATE BLOG!! SHE HAD AND KNEW ABOUT MY PRIVATE BLOG BTU IG THAT DOESNT COUNT!!! UGHHHH
#idk another part is just like. how she's like 'we could all constantly be lying'#but we could all be telling the truth.#how terrible is your life; elise? to have to always believe that you are not surrounded by love and truth? that people want to lie to you?#like maybe she doesn't know that me and ivy are friends but..#i'm on her blog?? like i've sent asks#nordicbananas has appeared there#UGHHHH#anyways <3 im sick of this.#this is EXACTLY like that one person#like. ok not exactly#but so manythings that she did. so many things that she says. just. echo them#sigh.#idk and idc how many pets she has like i dont think it's probable but i do not care girl why would you bring that up#if somehow she is reading this. babe don't make any more blogs. you dug yourself a hole until you reached the core of the earth and even-#-then youre trying to go further. just delete tumblr. dont go on the website. if you do; only read fics and then close the tabs.#dont do this to yourself. dont do this to everyone who knew you or ones who know people who did.#it's getting old; it's getting sad. it's just sad elise.#sighh.#:shroom is typing...#sorry for the worse than great subject on the selfship blog i just wanted to say *something* yk#i love you all <3
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Nunny! I'm sending you asks for your game.
I'm tempted to send you the entire post and just see the Nunny Rant. You might not even do She-ra. I'm thinking of She-ra sending these but go off about star wars or something else if you think it applies better to the question :D
the character everyone gets wrong (ahahhahahaaaaaaaaa)
8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about (im sure there is a long list)
9 and 10 - Worst part of fanon and worst part of canon (imo there is some overlap)
13. worst blorboficiation
14. that one thing you see in fics all the time
25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing
lakhglkajfas, I think my rant would mostly just be keyboard smashes and crying emojis so this is the better way to go lol!
the character everyone gets wrong God, like, fucking- ALL of them. :) Buuuuuut the one that's bugging me the most recently is Mermista.
I am SO sick of post canon Mermista in c/a fics specifically. Mermista would not hold a grudge that hard that long and that violently!!! Stop having her hate Catra and actively be out to do harm to her. Mermista's response to losing her kingdom was like a bad breakup where she just cried in a tub eating ice cream. Her response to seeing HORDAK at the end of the series was just a, "So are we good with him now?" implying that she's chill to be chill.
Mermista and Catra 100% would sit at a table calling one another a bitch (begrudgingly fond and pretend to not be) back and forth. Mermista would not be out to skin Catra alive! Mermista wants to talk to Catra about her murder novels because Perfuma reads too slowly and doesn't like spoilers but she NEEDS to talk to someone about the butler who has a brain cell because Sea Hawk seemed to miss the whole first half of the book AND FURTHER MORE-
9. and 10. - Worst part of fanon and worst part of canon
Worst part of fanon is the fucking shippers. This went from one of the more open and accepting fandoms for all ships that I'd ever been in to one of the worst.
Like, straight up, one of the fics that lives rent free in my head is an explicit fic where Catra and Hordak enthusiastically consent to having sex. Like Hordak is trying to be kinda standoffish but can't stop looking at boob window tits, he was Entrapta trained I'm afraid. The number of times I think of his awkward proposing they do it more frequently followed shortly by Catra dressing and winking saying, "Seriously, great cock!" is a lot lol. It's such a porn movie style fic and there is something fantastic to be said about it.
But you even hint that Catra could be headcanonned as anything besides a lesbian and your body will be found in a few months time in several different bags. Suggesting Catra and Hordak having any romantic or sexual relationship probably gets you reported to the fucking government or something. So there's a reason it's never made a rec list from me but fuck it I'm mentioning it now.
They aren't real. If I want to occasionally have a giggle about them and make my little dolls bump uglies everyone else should politely not look while my fellow weirdly sane people who get that this is all make believe but sure we're the freaks here come poke and enjoy!
Fucking shipping wars and discourse man. I'm sick of it.
Worst part of canon for me is the censorship and uncertainty that caused various issues with the plot and prevented the show from being even stronger. You can see it in real time while watching, but man it was wild in December 2018 to see how professional media talked about the show and Catra and Adora being adoptive sisters, to AJ (I think?) getting dumped on for repeating that idea and having to apologize, to the open gayness at the end. I love SPOP, but the rocky terrain the crew-ra had to navigate really did impact the quality and created weird gaps that asshole fans hunkered down into. Like, we cannot pry some of those fuckers out.
8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about
I need you to understand that my immediate response when I started writing this answer out was a very strained and painful sigh through my nose as my brain returned a static white noise sound.
I am really tired of forcing this jock!Adora and slacker!Catra thing. Like, it started in modern AUs but it's gone and infected people's idea of canon as well. It falls into a bit of the "dumb adora" trope, which people just don't seem to actually understand what that means or is about. It also falls into Shadow Weaver's narrative of who Catra is which is wild. Like. Really wild.
You are telling me Catra, a cat person who grew up in a military, is actively against exercise? Yes, she would 100% sleep in a sunbeam for a nap, and then she wakes up and craves some low key chaos and violence.
You are telling me Adora, forced into a golden child and leadership position, is bad at reading and math and science because all she cares about is training? Adora 100% enjoys physical fitness and using her body, but she's got a sharp mind on her and there's no way in hell she doesn't like to work it too.
I am just exhausted with it in modern AUs, and now it has gone to infect canon interpretations. It flattens their characters out, ignores/denies parts of their abuse, and nukes their abilities from orbit. I hate it so so much.
Also if I have to see one more fic or art piece where Catra is willingly and happily wearing dresses, skirts, and heels I swear to fucking god I will KILL. :)
13. worst blorboficiation
Again, this is all of them. Everyone suffers from being blorbo'd to an insane degree, but it just shifts depending on which character is the favorite of that part of the fandom. You have talked several times about the insanity of Catra fans vs. Hordak fans, the blorboification is insane there. Same with Catra fans vs. Glimmer fans.
Like. God damn. I'm so glad the Adora vs. Catra fan fights died out real quick because this fandom is exhausting enough.
With Catra being my favorite it's extra exhausting because there is CONSTANTLY people attacking her and then total asshats trying to defend her who I do not want to be associated with. I love her. She's a fucking idiot and a bastard and a baby. Somehow, every take on her is both the worst and factually correct and then the fandom fights.
Tipsy, I. Am. Tired.
14. that one thing you see in fics all the time
OKAY
Let's fucking talk about how GLIMMER IS NOT AN EVIL BITCH. Can we talk about that? STOP TRYING TO LEAVE THIS POST AND SIT YOUR ASS DOWN WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THIS AGAIN because someone needs to hear it louder in the back.
Glimmer is the character who is probably be done the dirtiest by the fandom but for wildly different reasons throughout the whole show. Hands down.
After S1 fandom took Glimmer and made her into an entitled dumbass whiner who threw money and her titles at her problems. They made her act like a child without any complexity. And it 100% took me from not really liking her character much to detesting her which is outrageous every time I remember that I kinda hated her at that point.
This did not improve post S2. :)
Post S3 probably was the most sympathetic and understanding the fandom was to Glimmer but it came at the cost of trying to bulldoze Catra for the Portal and people making callout posts like these characters were real people. I feel like the rise of some of the G/A shippers that I really can't stand was around this time. It was catra vs. glimmer fans going bat shit and drawing lines for ships.
If they couldn't assassinate Glimmer's character, by god the fandom would assassinate both Catra and Adora's in wildly different ways instead!
Do I need to talk about post S4? The idea of dark Glimmer and Glimmer going off the rails should have been a fun thing to play with in the sandbox and instead just writing it down made me cringe. Now Glimmer has to be an evil bitch because she had a trauma response and made bad decisions, now she is irredeemable because I made up a situation where she did something she didn't in canon for reasons so OOC someone probably slapped Donut Steel on it somewhere.
There was a little lift post series, but man people are holding onto Glimmer being a spoiled brat to play off of for Catra or a cruel bitch for Catra and, again, as a Catra fan, I want to bite bite kill kill bite kill kill kill!!!
Glimmer is allowed to grow up from being a spoiled kid who had good intentions and was naive. She is allowed to be over eager, bratty, petty, silly, funny, caring, and smart too. She's allowed to make bad choices and struggle with how to recover from it.
STOP MAKING ME THE LEAVE BRITTNEY ALONE MEME FOR GLIMMER
25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing
Shut up about redemption arcs, shut up about redemption arcs, shut up about redemption arcs, shut up about redemption arcs, shut up about redemption arcs, shut up about redemption arcs, shut up about redemption arcs, shut up about redemption arcs, shut up about redemption arcs, shut up about redemption arcs, shut up about redemption arcs, shut up about redemption arcs, shut up about redemption arcs, shut up about redemption arcs, shut up about redemption arcs, shut up about redemption arcs, shut up about redemption arcs, shut up about redemption arcs, shut up about redemption arcs, shut up about redemption arcs, shut up about redemption arcs, shut up about redemption arcs, shut up about redemption arcs, shut up about redemption arcs, shut up about redemption arcs, shut up about redemption arcs, shut up about redemption arcs, shut up about redemption arcs, shut up about redemption arcs, shut up about redemption arcs, shut up about redemption arcs, shut up about redemption arcs, shut up about redemption arcs, shut up about redemption arcs, shut up about redemption arcs, shut up about redemption arcs, shut up about redemption arcs, shut up about redemption arcs-
#choose violence ask game#spop#she ra#long post#my hot takes that are very true and correct and somehow someone will say I'm wrong#love how much I'm like ''wish more people would be active in the fandom''#and also ''MORE OF YOU NEED TO LEAVE NOW'' I am#stahp pitting bad bitches against one another#also#deadly serious#SHUT UP ABOUT REDEMPTION ARCS#I do not care who did or did not have one according to other fans who want to torture their least fave#*creaky old man voice* back in my day we wrote hate fic as a hobby not a religion!#you know that joke about seeing discourse that's like watching a dark shadow pass below your boat?#sometimes I see the fucking leviathan pop its head out to try and convince me of who deserves love and happiness#in the show about how EVERYONE is deserving of love and making your own happiness as you heal#and I feel like the protagonist from Dredge just pretending I don't see it to get back to shore
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|| Passive aggressive comments on fics are the absolute fucking best
"Do we get an update?"
Well, I don't know, mate. Do you want to get an update? Should I continue it? 🤔 Because me, the writer, might not be aware that people actually like their shit story, you know? 🤔
#asgard to earth 💚 (ooc)#writing#fanfic#|| Dear Gods of Old please send me a reader who's absolutely thrilled about sth in my fanfic - any fic - and they dare to comment.#|| Please stop allowing people to write something like ''when will you continue'' I DON'T KNOW OKAY.#|| Most likely I abandoned it because I felt like nobody cares. Every shit I've written is entirely fleshed out in my mind but I just#|| Never feel like anyone would be interested because they just read it and say nothing.#|| How will I know you've reread it 3 times in the past 3 months? How would I know you enjoyed it so much you're waiting for it??#|| Writing is so fucking difficult.#|| Staying motivated without a writing partner is hard.#|| And I still have low self-confidence.
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> posts a fic i'm proud of about dark subject matter to do with five and his abuse, which came from a very personal place, on AO3
> gets a comment
> it is, Course, a hate comment from an anti, demanding on anon to know why i would 'spend my value as a writer who's read Legacies' to write it
> roasts their ass like a thanksgiving turkey and immediately goes to write more of the thing
#LL tag#antis cw#the entitlement is unreal and it Will get you made fun of sorry#like for one thing first and foremost my art is for me; unless i am specifically writing something as a gift for someone else#which i do when i do it because it brings me joy#but also i do find happiness; joy; and fulfillment in posting art that i made for myself; and it being meaningful to other people#i've got LL fics that are ten years old that people still mention having loved now and then; and that i still get kudos on#and it is so humbling in the best way; i cannot express how much my opinion on it is not 'lol go fuck yourselves i don't care'#.......BUT. your 'value' as a writer/artist/etc in fandom is not something you '''spend'''#you are a *person* who shared your time and effort and a little part of your soul#that nourishes people it resonates with; until they have enough left over to maybe share some of theirs right back#a fandom that is good for you and treating you decently will leave you with more of yourself to share; not less#the value you are bringing to a fandom is *you*#what your value to the fandom is *not* is#'someone who's read the thing i like; puts words on paper; and is therefore categorically capable of making content for me to consume'#'and ONLY content for ME to consume'#'if you write anything i don't want to read you are personally taking food out of the mouths of me and my starving children'#writers and artists in fandom are not ATMs for the fandom to leave empty#and if anyone tries to treat you like one they're an entitled weirdo who's actively dehumanizing you & i advise you to drop their ass & run#anyway i just have a lot of thoughts about the subject and i am grateful to people in fandom who aren't Like This#whereas anon can use the block button or cry themself to sleep at night every time i post another fic about five being an abuse survivor#the salt files#abuse mention cw#grooming mention cw
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you don't need to post this, but if you go to that one negative person's blog, practically their whole page is anons tearing into wags. you couldn't write it.
yesterday i did a silly little thing and found out my blog was for "discourse thursday" and today is thursday so i WILL post this :)))) i looked at their blog for like three minutes and nearly took brain damage from the amount of wag talk,,,,, like babes???? i thought??? we were here for the vroom vroom???? the himbos?? the cars??? not to talk about women we DO NOT know????
i get the occasional smth smth about a wag! we like to think about the drivers whole lives! BUT when the majority of the scroll on your blog is about women who didn't sign up to be discussed by people? what are you doing? like read a fuckin teen magazine or some shit to get your fix because that's obviously the level that we're discoursing at???
#larks answers#i have had i don't remember how many shots of green apple smth in my silly little mixed drink and i am here to cause problems apparently#leave wags alone!!!#like why are you talking about someone's partner in more detail than you're talking about them??#when they're the person you supposedly care about???#like fuck dude you obvi don't#you just think you're too old to buy people magazine#just buy the damn gossip rag and stop pretending you only write y/n fics bc social media aus are easy
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my eyes have been opened to the world of wednesday shipping discourse. wow
this is so funny because the last time i engaged in shipping discourse was in like 2016 on a wings of fire forum. when people were arguing about moonbli vs winterwatcher vs qinter vs qinterwatcher (i actually didn’t really care but i felt like i had to have an opinion so i picked moonbli because qibli and moon were my favorite characters. and i remember that when darkness of dragons came out everyone was like “no spoilers!! i haven’t read it yet don’t tell me who she ends up with!!!!!” so instead people would say that their otp was canon. which was nice except they had their otp in their signatures which kind of defeated the point. oops that was kind of a tangent my bad). ANYWAYS i forget how strong of opinions people can have about this stuff
i think the main arguments i’ve seen against wednesday with either tyler or xavier are that it felt super forced. like no chemistry there the writers just wanted to shove a love triangle into the show. which i agree with totally agree with. i hated both tyler and xavier as characters so while i’m sure there are definitely great things about these ships i don’t see them
enid and wednesday is very popular, for good reason. enid is definitely queer-coded, especially with the whole lycanthropy as a metaphor for being queer thing. werewolf conversion therapy her poor relationship with her parents because she’s not “normal” like all of that. she was also the secondary character with the most screen time (i think. that’s what it seemed like when i watched the show) and the most interactions and chemistry with wednesday. this is understandable and i respect it
tyler and xavier i think is super funny. like they interacted maybe 3 times (which i know has never stopped shippers) but also. i can accept this i think. they both suck in different ways (in my opinion) but this is how everyone wins. pair them together and no one else has to deal with them. (that’s a joke btw. i do think this ship could have merit and i’d be curious to see what people have done with it.)
wednesday/no one: my otp. wednesday is aro/ace and you can’t tell me otherwise. the best ship in the entire show.
#wednesday#wednesday addams#wednesday show#this got long#and it sounds like i care really strongly about this but i don't#not really#like i 1000% hc wednesday as aroace but other people are free to ship whatever they want#if you ship her with xavier or tyler then do it!!! write fics draw art make edits#engaging in fandom should make you happy and if those ships make you happy then that's great#personally they don't make me happy but we are different people!!#if only everyone could understand this i would end shipping discourse forever#also#thinking about the moon ship drama of the wofmb was a THROWBACK dude#i miss that place#honestly i should reread wof i used to love it. i never finished the 3rd arc wonder how it ended#i suppose i've talked enough about it that i guess i should tag it??? maybe??#i never tagged things right on my old blog so whoops i've got no clue what i'm doing#oh well#sorry wof fans if you come across this and it annoys you#wof#wings of fire
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writing modern AUs is fun bc characters can have cell phones and you can spend a lot of time thinking about how they take their coffee. unfortunately it also makes me realize how many basic facts about the world i simply do not know
#just googled 'how old are doctors'. so that's going well#i get so self conscious about these bc when it's in fake fantasy world or whatever i am always ready to handwave the details#but when it's like no this takes place on real earth. somewhere ambiguously in the 2010s. suddenly im boo boo the fool#anna's fic notes#and like. no one will care that I don't know how a vegas residency works. and even if they did no one would get mad if i get details wrong#but what if
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~
#i can't believe i gotta work tomorrowwwwww i'm too mentally unwell rn to be there#the list of things i wanna do rn in order is:#1) have some samosas from the pakistani fast food place in hong kong that i saw on tv#2) think about the theoretical iwaoi classic childhood friends to lovers set inside my sunakomo mall au#3) sit at a beach in halifax ns fending off seagulls while snacking on a pastry of some sort#4) paint the fucked up decrepit shed at my old place#5) binge watch bocchi the rock so i can spam text d about it#6) write the osayukie kaori pov fic so i can tell d i wrote and published it#7) talk to d. just in general. ☹#8) unpack all my shit then clean all my bags and shelves and drawers then clear out my closet then rearrange my room#9) listen to music that won't remind me of r.#10) be insane and ask d to go to a local rock show w me#see how nowhere on that list is the desire to go to work.#i don't even care if there are ppl i like working with there they'll just ask me about stew and i hate that guy i'm sickkk of himmmm#they speak!
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you probably have.
given how "engagement" works combined with the anxiety readers often experience when commenting on AO3 then if you do write That Fic for someone they'll probably never tell you. They might leave kudos as a guest and never interact with you ever again but it's their fave fic of all time. often the last person to hear about your love for your fave fic (if they ever do) is the person who actually wrote it.
so since you most likely have no way of knowing if you do manage to write That Fic... may as well just go ahead and assume that you already did.
idk man, i just wanna write a fic that someone reads obsessively at 3am. a fic that someone loses sleep to finish because just one more chapter and tries to give multiple kudos. a fic that people will leave a comment on every chapter. i want to write a fic that people will recommend to others, that they think nails the characterization and relationship dynamic. i want to write someone’s comfort fic, someone’s favorite fic, or someone’s fic they read when they want to re-read something. i want to be that fic writer. i want to write that fic.
#srlsy! think of the authors we follow for years and read pretty much everything... but telling them that feels weird so we just don't#i've had “omg that's my fave fic!” about something with no comments or bookmarks that i thought nobody liked at all. so you never know.#the world of fanfiction#fandom#i KNOW how much authors live on comments and i still don't comment as much as i intend to D: D: D:#“oh they won't care what *I* think! this fic is 5 years old my comment would just annoy them now! idk what to say even!” etc - it me
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𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 ☀︎
Rockstar!gojo x art student!femreader
synopsis- satoru gojo fell in love with you when he was 17. He tried everything to gain your attention—joining the student council, participating in every extracurriculars, performing well in academics yet nothing worked. That was until high school. In college, having been forced into a band, he needed to find a new artist for their posters which he requested shoko to take care of. What he didn't expect was shoko to bring you as a volunteer—
warnings- college!au, satoru being heads over heels for you, he’s so damn in LOVE save my boy, friends to lovers, misunderstanding, SEMI PUBLIC SMUT, fingering, oral fem receiving, PUSSY DRUNK GOJO, dirty talk, creampie, BALL OF FLUFF, ANGST, mentions of smoking and alcoholism, super cute ending
w.c- 8.2k (have faith)
a/n's note- i'd poured out my heart in this (especially the smut). i hope you all do like this. your comments and reblogs are highly appreciated as it helps motivating me for writing long ass fics. taglist is open you can ask me to join. love ya' all!!
When satoru met you for the first time, he was 11 years old.
You were the daughter of his mother’s friend whom he heard of so many times. Though the accidental reunion in the mall while grocery shopping was the first time satoru ever had the opportunity to meet you face to face.
It was a totally random encounter, coincidental even, you can say when your mother recognised satoru’s mom and both squealed like teenagers. They'd a lot to catch up with, thus having their kids entertain each other in the play section was convincing enough for them to chit chat in a cafe.
And this is how satoru ended up being stuffed, hand in hand with you, to go enjoy in the play section as his mother patted his back, asking him to be good to you.
“Don't leave her hand, okay toru?! Make sure you both stay together.” His mom said before scooting herself with your mom.
Satoru looked at you, his hand locked in yours as you made eye contact with him before shying away, looking in the other direction. He stood confused before pulling you to the gaming section, without any word.
He scanned amongst the box of video games, before pulling out one which caught his eyes with his unoccupied hand. He gave a side look to you, reluctantly asking “you want to play this?”
You gaze down at the video game he held in his hands, eyes sparkling a bit, if satoru wasn't seeing things, then raise your head to look at him again. “It has vibrant colours.”
Satoru nodded, feeling a little giddy that you liked his preference. “It's called mario kart.”
“Oh.” Your eyes widened as he revealed the name.
“Do you know how to play it?” You shake your head at his question. “Then I can teach you!”
“Really?”
“Yeah, let's go and install it on the playstation.”
By the time satoru’s mother returns with your mum, they find satoru giggling along with you, hands still locked with each other, as he points to various stacked video games.
That day slowly came to an end and satoru didn't get to see you for the next two years till your giggles became a distant echo and your face a blur.
By the time he was 14, he almost forgot you.
Until that one day when he noticed you, sitting alone with your lunch staring at the sky at the campus of his high school.
You were biting on your chopsticks with dreamy eyes as recognition drew in satoru's mind.
Y/n— he thought. His brows frowned, thoughts slowly going in a muddle. How are you here? eating lunch in his high school campus unless— you're a student over here too! Satoru felt foolish, his lips slowly curving in a smile lifting one hand, abandoning the basketball in the other to greet you.
However, before he can get his words voiced out to you, gaining your attention, a brown haired girl comes up to you dragging you along with her in a hurry.
Satoru's hand froze in mid air, awkwardly stretching it above his head before bringing it down and turning towards his friends. He sprinted back to his group resuming the game, yet his mind stayed with you and your dreamy eyes.
He wanted to say ‘hi’ and watch your eyes grow wide before nodding your head just like you did back then. He wanted to show you the basketball he was holding and maybe teach you how to play ball just like he did back then.
“Oi satoru! Why are you missing the catch?!” one of his friends shouted, breaking him free of his daze. “sorry…taking a break!” He said, excusing himself, before going and plopping himself down on a nearby bench.
He recognised the brown haired girl—Yura. She often came to him asking for little favours. Did she know you? A friend? You studied in the same school and yet he only saw you today. Where were you all this time? Satoru was the same age as you. So you were bound to be in the same class, maybe different sections but he knew students from the other sections too. How come he didn't notice you yet?
The recess was over soon and he ran back to his class. Before entering the class, he noticed you again, hurrying to the class next to him.
Class 1-2.
Satoru felt silly as he read the classroom name in his mind.
As the final semester rolled on and a new semester started, satoru found out class 1-2 changed to class 2-2 and this year he was in the same section as yours.
He was excited to finally be able to talk to you without any awkwardness. After all, you were in the same classroom now— which means you will know him when he introduces himself on the first day of class. You will see him, introducing himself aloud and clear and recognition will draw on your face as you remember him.
That's what he initially thought the night before the first class. Until satoru felt the urge to perfect his speech and kept on practicing it, holding the crumpled sheet in his clammy hands, past midnight.
As a result he woke up late and by the time he hurried himself to school, the self introduction was half-over. He mumbled his apologies to his homeroom teacher, before hastily introducing himself and going to his assigned seat.
With that his perfect speech plan of gaining your attention bombed miserably. He raised his head in the direction of your seat—first row second desk, way far than his— fourth row last desk.
That's when he decided with the determination inclining in his heart to get your attention and make you remember that it's him.
The plan was simple. He just have to wait till recess and watch his chances closely. Once you're free and alone he will go make a move saying ‘hello’! Maybe even ask for your number.
Recess hour came by and his plan chose to bite the dust with girls and boys swarming around him to get his number and be friends with him. The group kept him occupied for the entirety of the recess and by the time he was done you were no where to be found in class.
Similar things happened the next day and the next day and the next day, never ceasing to leave him alone.
Satoru eventually came up with another plan— excelling in academics. The more he's good in academics, the more are the chances for you to come up to him wanting his help to understand a problem. And the plan worked exceptionally well with girls frequenting him with a doubt in their lesson— except for you.
This time satoru came up with his active participation in extracurriculars and sports. The more he active he is the more is the chance of you joining the same activity or maybe seek his assistance for the upcoming sports day.
This plan too, was indeed prodigious and did attracted a lot of attention except yours.
His last option was of joining the student council. As the spirited member of the top student council, you might come up to him with a problem you're facing or anything you want to change.
So, without thinking much he did joined the student council, hoping to finally gain your attention. However the following week, concerns and requests for changes decreased promptly. The other council members sighed, few scrutinizing satoru. After all no one in the entire school would want their so very handsome, energetic and popular Satoru Gojo to have a heavy work load after school.
“Since we don't have any work to do now, thanks to gojo-kun, I'd gladly like you all to only maintain the regular class desk arrangement.” the student council president announced before leaving the council room.
Satoru sighed, this isn't what he thought. He just wanted your attention not the entire school’s. Everyone looked at him, when he walked, when he sat, when he ate, people always turned around to take a second look. Yet you never laid your eyes on him. Even being in the same class you never came up to him to chat.
Back slouched, with his tie undone, he slammed the door open of his classroom to pick up his bag.
You flinched.
Hand covering your mouth, a dust wiper on the other, you looked at him as he froze.
One entire year, was how satoru spent to gain your attention, to get you look at him, and when it finally happened the time seemed to halt. The sun rays pooled into the room with slow breezes messing up your bangs and satoru couldn't mutter a word but stare.
Conscious about him gaping, he tore his gaze away from you before shutting the door, this time gently.
The council president asked them to take care of class desk arrangements. However, the desks in his classroom have always been arranged, even before he joined the student council.
“you…um arrange the desks everyday?” He said fixing his tie, slowly walking up to his desk, wiped clean by you. “Yes.”
Satoru accompanies you cleaning and arranging for the rest of the time in complete silence. Soon you take your leave, and so does satoru but this was the time he was happy like really really happy.
He didn't exchange any words of recognition with you, from the day at the mall. He didn't talk. Yet he was beaming radiant, for just being with you, momentarily alone, in peace.
That day soon came to an end and another year passed by. Satoru did nothing but admire you from afar. This was the only way he felt the closest to you. He saw how you wiped and arranged the desks everyday; help people without even letting them notice; lend the only pencil you have without a word; and care for the garden whose garish flowers were disregarded by others.
The more he saw, the more he knew you. And the more he felt his heart slipping away.
You were kind, gentle and soft. You noticed people behind their masks. You regarded the smallest of the things with such care. And your delicate hands, often smeared with paint, held the responsibility of others without complaining.
He often saw yura asking favours from you, shoving her cleaning duties to you, sending you to get her lunch from the 7-eleven nearby and never once you said 'no'. You were so so precious.
He knew he’d to stop; the way you engrossed him, linger on his mind all day to the point that he was unable to think of anything but you was straight up creepy but his eyes never stopped searching for you.
Even in the midst of the crowds on a random road his eyes would unconsciously seek for you.
And by the time he was 17, satoru was hopelessly, absurdly and miserably in love with you.
Another year passed by and he could do nothing but stare. And the fact that you often looked at him too made things even worse.
He was so down bad for you that he couldn't keep on going like this anymore. He was so sure he'd confess to you on the day of graduating the high school, not caring about rejection.
Satoru stayed up an entire night, perfecting his confession. But by the time the graduation ceremony ended and he went to look out for you, you were nowhere to be found.
He asked yura about you, to which she replied that you went back home early and satoru had his heart broken at 18.
He couldn't move on easily but giving you up was the only option left. Unwillingly, satoru made his devastating decision of giving you up. He never thought he would see you again until a few years later in college, shoko brought you right in front of him.
“We need a new artist to cover up for this concert.” said geto suguru, stuffing his phone back in his pockets. “Why? What happened to ren?”
“Got himself into an accident and fractured his right arm.” Geto plops himself back down on the couch beside satoru, before pulling on the fretboard of his bass.
“Should visit him then.”
“Forget it.”
“Why?” frowned satoru, geto suguru—his best friend, the one he went to middle and high school with, was not the type to feign indifference. His behavior indeed had satoru confused.
“Nanami informed he got drunk at the last concert before getting himself into the accident. Drunk driving it is.”
“Did yaga find out about this?”
“Fortunately, he didn't. Nanami covered the case before him finding out,” geto brought his hand, swiping back his string of bangs, “if it reaches yaga, he will ban us from using the campus stadium.”
“lucky I'd say…so what now?” The next concert is in 3 days and the band poster is still incomplete.
Shortly after satoru joined his college, suguru started a band along with two other guys. The band was doing well but due to a disagreement they decided to split up. Suguru then suggested satoru join the band and the following year they gained another member named nanami kento.
They used to hold performances at random pubs but as its popularity increased, the college decided to give them the campus stadium to hold their concerts. Something they did extra was hiring an artist to do their band poster— hand-drawn. It'd become a little tradition— a lucky charm says suguru, and now that their artist had broken his hand right at the eleventh hour before the concert they will have to—
“Find a new one.”
“nana—” geto shuts him before he could finish his sentence. “Nanami is trying his best, so am I. So, you try finding one too.”
“How am I supposed to?”
“Well I'm sure if you go with a face like this to the art department, people would volunteer in a line.”
“Same goes with you, why don't you go and ask. I'm sure if you could wear your shirt a little loose you can surely get your clingy ex find a good one." Gojo says in a mocking tone, grabbing his guitar and looping it around his back before leaving the club.
He was sure annoyed, but he will have to find one, geto wasn't in a mood to joke earlier either. Rather than going by himself, he decided to ask shoko get it done for him; he was sure she'd agree for a few packs of cigarettes.
Walking on his way to the parking lot he texted shoko to meet at their regular cafe.
“Sup!”
Satoru smiled knowing shoko could never fail him, even if she didn't agree right away a little guilt trip will do.
“All good?”
“Yeah, what do you need?”
“Just a little favour.”
“And what that might be?”
“Get an appropriate artist from the art department. Ren broke his arm and suguru's so down about going himself, ya’ know about his ex,” shoko started grabbing her cup of iced coffee to retreat when gojo slammed two packets of cigarettes on the table. “I've two more packs to offer.”
Shoko returns to her seat, a big smile on her face. “Okay! Since I'm your empathetic, gracious and compassionate friend, I will try and see what I can get done.”
“Yes please…”
“I'm not doing it for cigarettes ya’ know.”
“Mhmmm” satoru nods his face dramatically.
“Get the other two packets out.”
“Sure.”
Satoru knew four packets would get the job done as he parted away from shoko, driving his way back home.
And the next day when shoko texted him that she got a volunteer and is bringing her to the club, he didn't expected it to be you.
Shoko looped a hand around your shoulders “so this is the club,” chewing a gum, “and this is satoru gojo.”
“Hi…” you said looking at him, before taking a look at those instruments laying behind.
It’s you. It's really you. He couldn't believe his eyes yet stood unblinking as if you were some mirage and will fade away once he closes his eyelids.
“Gojo?” Shoko waved a hand infront of his face and realizing he didn't respond to you, he bent his torso bowing to you.
“Woah,” shoko’s face scrunched up, cringing at his behavior, “when did you start being all formal?”
You giggled at her comment while satoru hushed her with a series of ‘shut ups’.
“I'm—”
“Y/n.” satoru whispered almost as if reminding himself the way your name sounded in his lips. “Y/n, i know.”
You chuckle at his words, tugging a strand of hair behind your ear.
“You know her?” shoko tilted her head at him, not expecting you to be acquainted with him.
“We went to the same high school.” You say when satoru does nothing but gape at you with dreamy eyes.
His heart did a whole somersault at your sentence. You remembered him; you remembered his name; you remembered he was in the same high school as you. The fact that you regarded him made him so giddy that he was practically ready to throw his hands up in the air or kiss the floor on which you walk.
“Kay’ I'll leave you guys to talk then.” She smirked before raising a cocky eyebrow at satoru, excusing herself from the club.
“So…you're the only one?”
“Huh?”
“In the band— i mean…”
“Oh no” he dragged, “there are two more members along with the back musicians…”
You humm, taking a proper look at the club.
“You like it?”
“It has vibrant colours.”
Your words echoed in his ears, the same which you said to him at the mall. Oh how bad had he wanted to hear those.
“The jazzies,” you read the name of their band aloud, “why jazzies? You only play jazz?”
“No…we play all sorts of music…it's just a name suguru chose for the band.”
“you do originals?”
“Both originals and covers. Anything suguru comes up with.”
Your mouth forms a little ‘o’ as satoru explains to you.
“geto seems to be doing all the stuff, what do you do?”
“You know him?” satoru’s brows furrowed. “Whom?” you ask.
“geto…geto suguru.”
“Ofc, he was in the same class as us.”
“Oh.”
Ofcourse. Both he and geto were in the same class as you. It was no big deal for you to remember both of them. However, accepting that he wasn't any special was bitter.
Satoru’s eyes followed your figure as you went out to reach for his guitar, mindlessly drawing your finger on its printed patterns.
“You didn't answer my question…”
“I guess I found you for our band.”
When none of you says anything, satoru breaks the ice, clearing his throat.
“You know how to play?”
“Err…no.”
“I can teach you.”
He slided his index among the few string instruments before pulling out an acoustic one, bringing it to you.
“Hold the fretboard with your left hand,” satoru pulled the strap over your shoulders, “and bring your right hand over the body, fingers near the sound hole— yep that's right,” he turned your back to him, gently holding the back of your palms.
“Now, pluck the chords for me,” his chest was against your back as he guided you through the strings.
“Like this?” you ask him.
“Yes, you're doing very well.”
The guitar in your hands, played smoothly as satoru guided you through it.
Just like when he taught you how to play mario kart.
Satoru looks down at you smiling in excitement. Oh how cute you looked like that. He could admire you twenty-four seven, never wanting to tear his gaze away, for you're that ineffably eesome in his eyes.
Time almost ceased when you looked up at him, eyes crinkling with a smile that soon died as red creeps up your cheeks.
Satoru’s face was mere inches away from you, his eyes wavering down to your lips.
“SATO—RU— oh,” geto bursted in along with nanami causing you both to flinch.
He quickly leaves your hand.
“Y/n??” Geto dragged out your name, looking at you with his eyebrows knitting and lips forming a silly smile.
“Hi,” you pull the strap over your shoulders abandoning the instrument on the nearby couch. “I'm here to volunteer.”
“You do?”
“Yeah…”
“That's great! I can't believe satoru even managed to talk—” satoru smacked him mid sentence.
Nanami, for some reason, found the ceilings very interesting today, totally ignoring his two seniors.
Geto explained to you about their little tradition of hand drawn posters and showed you the posters they used for the last concerts. You, then, asked them to send them a group picture of the three and their preferences for colours and themes.
“For that I might need your number—”
“I- i can send it to her…” Geto passed a suggestive smile at satoru, which he ignored and awkwardly forwarded his phone to you.
“Yeah that sounds fine. Here's my number, save it and text me later.”
“Kky!”
You pull the sling of your tote bag up to your arm, giving them a little nod, before turning your back to leave.
“Wait!—” satoru held your arms frantically pulling you back. He hurried to the back near the couch you plopped the guitar and shoved it to you. “T-take it.”
“Ah— no I can't do that.”
“Take it. You can learn how to play and I- I can teach you.” he tried not to stutter yet failed miserably.
“No i rea—”
“consider it as a gift— from me.”
You frowned a bit but agreed anyway.
“That's really sweet of you satoru! I will wait for your text! Bye!!”
He waved back to you.
“What was that?” Geto implies in the direction of the exit door through which you just left.
“nothing.”
Later, You sent the photo of the finished banner to satoru. It took you 42 hours to finish it.
Satoru on the other hand was practicing really hard, totally different from his half hearted performances from the previous ones which wasn't unnoticed by the other members.
He has to be the best. After all, this concert will be different from the previous ones. This time you will be there to see him, cheer for him, and notice him.
You soon bring the banner rolled up to the club. “Woah! You really did a great job.”
“This is much better than ren’s.” says nanami before going back to his drum set, giving you a thumbs up.
“Satoru?”
“Y-yes.”
“You liked it?”
“I loved it. It has vibrant colours.” You giggled at his answer, shifting your direction to his gaze. His fingers seemed to flake off any dust on the surface of your work, handling it so gently.
It wasn't his fault he felt so overwhelmed. All these years he'd yearned for one kind word from your lips yet he was left starving.
And now you'd drawn him with such precision, that it was as if you were accustomed to drawing him for the hundredth time.
His heart fluttered at the thought.
“I will be there at your concert,” you say, turning your back to him. “All the best!”
The campus stadium was full with a bunch of students and hippies, it was really hard for satoru to try locating you amongst the sea of crowds.
The music rang loud, brisking fiery cheers from the crowd, full of vim and vigor. The spotlight shone on the three— geto with his vocals and string of bass; satoru with his acoustic guitar; and nanami with his drum set.
The crowd roared in excitement as music coursed through their veins.
Will you be cheering too?
Satoru raised his head from the guitar, plucking chords effortlessly, to his audience.
And as if it was fate that drew both of you together, his eyes found yours. You were there in the vip section, along with shoko and another girl. You were moving with beats, swaying your arms in rhythm to their music.
His eyes locked in yours as you waved a hand at him. Oh how, how pretty you looked. Everything except you was a blur to him.
The crowd goes even more wild, seeing satoru blush, not sensing it was you who caused it.
The concert continued till past midnight as the vibrations thrumming around the air slowed and wrapped up with their ending song: “Where Our Blue Is.”
As the applause slowly start to dissipate, satoru pulled off his instrument, running to the edge of the stage, and hopped down the raised platform.
The college girls shrieked baffled, some even reached out, grabbing on his wrists and clothes. He politely got out of their grip making his way to the vip section, geto and nanami following him.
The still air felt electric as he approached you.
“you liked the show?”
“Ofc it was amazing!!” The girl beside you answers in your stead, whom he now recognised as yura.
“It was really good.” you say swallowing a laugh bubbling up your throat at his huffed out appearance.
“Thanks to your banner, it even attracted more audience.” geto remarked, placing his arm around satoru’s shoulders.
“Thank you.”
“You should thank me for bringing her in.” Shoko reclaims, looping her hand around your arm, “let's go steal some shots.”
“Oh no i can't— i don't drink. And I need to hurry back home it's late.”
“Kyaahh— you've let me down y/nniee. Only two packets of cigarettes can get my mood uplifte—”
“I will bring it tomorrow.” You say shutting up her whines.
“kk bye and text me when you get home the rest are joining me right ?”
“Count me out. I'll be driving her home tonight.” Satoru says sheepishly, ignoring the smirks and exchanged looks of his bandmates, a slight blush creeping up his cheeks.
“No but I was about to go home with her —” yura interrupts.
“Satoru’s fine. You're coming with us.” Shoko dragged her along with geto and nanami, which satoru was glad of.
Finally he'd be alone with you.
He guided you to the parking lot from the back of the stage, before getting his car keys out.
It's metallic jingle echoing softly as he presses the button on his key fob. The car responds with a soft beep unlocking as satoru opens the passenger door, holding it open for you.
“Here,” he gestures with his other hand, “get in.”
“Sure.” You say gulping thickly.
The thick smell of your cologne mingling with the leather scent of the car.
He closes the door before sprinting to the other side, getting himself in. “Don't— ” he stops you when you reach out for your seat belt. “Allow me the honor” his finger brushes against your skin as he reaches out for the seat belt.
Your heart practically jolts at his action.
The click of the seat belt buckle echoes softly in the quiet car, as he straightens back to his former position.
“Where do you live?” He clears his throat, starting the car engine and flicking on the headlights before pulling out the car into the driveway.
“In the downtown.”
“That's quite far from the campus, how bout I drive you everyday back home?” His eyes suggestive, making you chuckle.
“I can't let you do that.”
“Why?”
“Since it's far from the campus and you won't be visiting often.”
“Who knows, I might be visiting your place often.”
You turn your face from the window to look at him.
“What?”
“I will have to— to teach you guitar.”
You crack up at his silliness, finding yourself melting again.
“Okay fine. But that still doesn't counts.”
“Why not!”
Since that day, satoru did visited you often, sometimes barging in with shoko and sometimes alone teaching you how to play guitar, plucking on chords and notes.
And you attended all of his concerts. Their previous artist has recovered now and has resumed his work, so you no longer work with them. However they insist you tag along each time and it's not like you complain.
You liked satoru’s company. He was handsome, charismatic and popular. You'd watched him your entire high school. He was the one of most popular students, good in a millions of things, starting from academics to being athletic. He'd win every sports competition and even participate in all the extracurriculars. You'd admired him for he could do the things which you didn't had the courage for.
You liked how he didn't judge people, helped them in their need, and even took care of those garish flowers nobody seemed to double take.
You'd previously met him before high school, though he never brought that up. You wondered if he even remembers the day at the mall. You wanted to ask him so bad, however—
Your world was only limited to papers and paints.
So you painted.
You painted him so many times that you'd have more than five sketchbooks with paintings full of him.
You wanted to be friends, maybe even more than friends.
But that didn't matter now. He was near you and you would do anything to keep your thumping heart in control and not have satoru cut you out of his life.
But how can you?
How can you control it when satoru so gently, so lovingly, takes your hand in his. When he smiles so sweetly at you. When he teaches you how to pull chords and other instruments. When he drops you home from college almost everyday. When he hugs you and tells you to take care.
How are you supposed to be just friends when he's so overly affectionate to you?
Or maybe it's just your overthinking.
Satoru was always polite and sweet, he'd always been sweet to others and you were no special.
“What are you thinking baby?”
You come out of your daze, rolling your eyes at the nickname.
“How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that…”
“Not my fault you aren't paying attention to me…” he pulls you closer to him, resting his face on your shoulder.
“Have you always been this hungry for attention?” you ask, getting yourself comfortable abandoning the guitar beside you on the couch— of the club.
“I've been starving.”
You cringe at his words. Satoru has another concert today and they just finished practicing an hour ago and now they are taking a break.
Geto and nanami and other back artists wanted to get some fresh air so they left you and satoru alone to entertain each other.
“Are you really skipping on me?” He looked at you with puppy eyes.
“I've a gallery exhibition tomorrow.” You need to scoot back home to get ready for it. It's a big event for you to showcase your arts.
Satoru hummed, nuzzling his face on the crook of your neck, “I'll be there. You're going to do great.”
An uncertain lump forms in your throat, hard to swallow, you say nothing. Your heart was in a conflict again, no matter what you can absolutely not—
“I will be going then. All the best for your concert.”
You push satoru away, reaching for your tote bag from the side of a random arm chair. “Wait I will drop—”
“Who's leaving?” shoko barges in with yura and others.
Satoru points at you.
“I just got here. You can't leave already.”
“Yup! Yup! Please stay a little longer, baby. I'll drop you back home, no worries.”
Shoko exchanges suggestive glances with geto and they somehow persuade you to stay a little longer.
They start practicing for another round when shoko pulls your head closer, “what do you think about gojo?”
“Huh?!” You shout over the music, unable to hear her.
She grabbed your hand and pulled you outside, with Yura following closely behind you both.
“What— “
“What do you think of gojo?”
A burning sensation hits you slowly as shoko’s question registers in your mind.
You ears turn red.
“Eh…um h-he’s a nice guy. A nice musician…and—”
“And?” Shoko wiggled her brows at you, a sly smile on her face.
“A-a nice friend.”
“Just a friend?” You nod at her, seemingly more embarrassed at her implications.
Shoko's face literally radiated disappointment. It was as if someone told her that cigarettes are now banned in the country. “I think he's interested in you,” you choked on air at her remark. “No?”
Yura shrugged.
The music slowed down and then paused, bringing your conversation to a momentary halt.
Satoru rushed outside, complaining about why you left in the middle of his practice.
“Bruh, chill, I'm not trying to steal her away from you. We're just talking!” Shoko jokes as you laugh all flustered.
Just when you were about to leave one of his fangirls suddenly appeared from nowhere and threw herself into his arms, wrapping hers tightly around his neck. He stumbled back a step, surprised, before regaining his balance but he didn't put her down rather he spinned her around before setting her back down, with a polite smile on his face.
The other members just saw the scene unfold with amusement. Nanami was surprised at the fan’s boldness and geto simply observed the scene as shoko rolled her eyes, finding it hysterical.
“What do you think of shoko’s remark?” said yura, looping her hand around your arm.
“What?” You say suppressing the slow tinge of jealousy.
“About gojo being interested in you…”
“I-i don't think so.”
You try to laugh it off.
“Yeah, he's just polite. To pretty much everyone.”
Her words felt like a splinter to your heart. You shouldn't feel like this. It'd happened before— not now again.
Yura’s right, satoru is just polite and will do the same for everyone what he does for you— because he's kind. And you're no special.
The entire ride was silent. Satoru kept asking you if anything was wrong but you just guised a smile at him, insisting it was nothing.
The next day at the gallery event, you behaved oddly. You smiled at him but didn't reach your eyes, your answers to his question were of one word, even avoiding his touch.
“Did I do something wrong?” he asked warily.
“No.”
Days passed by and you distanced yourself more from him.
Satoru, on the other hand, was almost losing his mind. His world turned upside down. You stopped coming to his concerts, ignored his texts and even refused to let him drop you back home.
It was yesterday you’d allowed him to teach you the guitar yet today you behaved as if you'd long forgotten him. You were cold and distant, leaving him puzzled by his own thoughts upon your sudden change in demeanor.
He couldn't help but wonder whether he'd done something that made you this upset?
You'd said it was nothing.
Then why?
What the fuck did he messed up?
Satoru missed you terribly and violently.
He eyed you from the inside of his car parked a bit far from your department. Today was another day you refused his offer to drive you to class. ‘I'm kinda sick so I won't be going.’ This was what you'd texted him the morning and yet there you were getting off your uber.
You lied to him.
“Come with me to their concert today.” Shoko urged you, her lips pursed in a thin line.
“I'm sorry—”
“No you're not so sorry. Tomorrow’s Saturday, come with me, gojo’s getting mad without you.”
You suck in a breath at the mention of his name.
“What's wrong?” shoko says sipping the last of her drink before plopping it on your tea table.
“Nothing.”
“Then come.”
You agreed eventually. Attending the concert won't be a big deal.
And it wasn't, except for satoru’s piercing gaze burning holes in your back. You accompanied Shoko backstage and casually greeted everyone— including him.
“God, haven't seen you in so long.” geto side hugged you as nanami gave you a nod of acknowledgement before running off to the stage for some last minute preparations. “Satoru missed you like crazy.”
You attempt a weak smile in satoru's direction, darting a hesitant glance his way. His gaze was fixed on you, but his expression was unreadable, almost giving shivers down your spine.
One of the other members suddenly hurried over to Geto, urgently speaking about some issue, he politely excused himself and exited the room, closely followed by Shoko. Now, you were left alone with Satoru, the only two remaining in the room.
“I should go and check what's the proble—” you try sprinting your way out the door, “wait—” when satoru stops you.
His hand on your arm, preventing you to go any further and when you struggle to get out of his grip, he tightens his grip even more slamming you to the wall, pinning you caging your body.
“What's wrong with you?”
“Gojo you're hurting m—”
“Gojo?” His voice cracked, grip losing before letting your arms go, “why? Why must you do this to me?”
“Do what?” You drift your gaze away unable to look at satoru, who's this close tearing up.
“This— why must you do this? Why must you ignore me? Why must you be distant from me? Why must you lie to me so that I won't bother picking you up or dropping you home? Why must you reject my affection?” He sucks in a breath “You know I can't live like that—”
“why?”
“Don't pretend like you don't know…”
“no no don't say it,” you throw your hands up in the air frantically, “don't— I can’t fall again…no— I know you're just being polite and you will do this for anyone, but I can’t help it if I don't—”
“I love you—” he whispers, bringing your hand up, placing the palm flat to his chest.
“No you don't.”
“Yes I do— what do you mean you can't fall again,” he suppresses your struggles of wrenching free your hand from his grip. “You have no idea how crazy I'm for you. I love you and I've loved you since I was 17. I was about to confess to you on our graduation day but you just disappeared leaving me alone. And now that I have you I'm not letting you go— make no mistake baby, if there's anyone I’d ever kneel for— it'd be you.”
Thick silence covered the entire room, except your heavy exhales. Satoru gojo was inches close to you, your hand still laid flat against his heaving chest.
“B-but I wrote you a note confes—”
“What note? I never….” confusion twisted on his face bitterly.
“You threw it in the dustbin— the one I wrote to you the day before graduation.”
His face told the truth, as he shook his head denying it. He never received any note from you— nevertheless having the audacity to throw it in the trash when he'd been hopelessly in love with you all these years.
“Yura told me—” you shut your mouth as the realization hits you. The person whom you considered as a friend backstabbed you long ago.
She lied about him discarding it while it was actually her who had stolen it off his desk before satoru even noticed.
Your head raised in embarrassment, ready to apologize for the misunderstanding when suddenly, Satoru's lips met yours in a tender kiss. The kiss was filled with such affection and tenderness that you felt as if you might melt in his embrace. His arms held you close, firmly yet gently, as he deepened the kiss. Your heart pounded in your chest as you responded to his kiss. All thoughts of the misunderstanding were forgotten in that moment of pure intimacy before satoru pulled away with frowned brows and a dazed smile.
“Tell me, would I kiss anyone the same way I kiss you?” he pulled you again, smacking his lips on yours as he snaked a hand around your waist, the other, still firm, holding your palm.
You could feel his heartbeat going rapid the more he deepens the kiss, sucking on your upper lip.
He pulls away again.
“Tell me, would my heart beat the same way as it beats around yours?” He smacks his lips again, this time pinching your waist making you gasp as he slips his tongue in.
His hand fumbles with the hem of your dress, pulling away again, a string of drool connecting both of your lips. “Would I be breathless the same way as I'm now?”
His hand travels up your inner thigh, till it reaches the wet blotch of drenched silk. You grasp his shoulders, when he starts drawing circles over the fabric, smirking before nuzzling his face on the crook of your neck.
“Satoru, what if someone walks in—” your body jolts, nails digging into his back as he pulls the fabric to the side, plunging a digit in without any warning. “Let them…” he goes back to sucking your skin while rubbing his thumb over your swollen clit.
Your teeth sank on your bottom lips, his finger slowly plunging in and out of you. “Nngh ‘toru, you’re—” small trembles quivered through your body as he plunged with a faster rhythm.
“Shh baby! Let me take you” he inserts another digit as your teeth dug even deeper into your lip, stretching you and filling you so well.
He was stroking you, curling his fingers inside until hitting your most sensitive spot. Sweat beaded your forehead as your trembles gave way to full body shudders, shutting your mouth with your hand not wanting to be loud.
Satoru drew himself back from your neck, satisfied marking and suckling, withdrawing his digits, slick from you as you wince at the loss of his fullness.
He brings them up and sucks your essence off his fingers with a pop. “I want to eat you out.”
Before even you can make out his words he kneels down bunching up the fabric to your hips pulling your panty down properly and latching onto your swollen clit.
“Fuck ‘toru.” he lapped his tongue on your clit, drawing circles, tasting your sweet before drawing himself back, “I am fucking you baby.” He says, licking a fat stripe on your vulva, his rigid tongue swiping back and forth over your clit sending sensations that make your body jolt. “Here and raw” he hummed against your pussy, his breath warm and hot sending vibrations to your core, before vacuuming on your clit.
Your hand grasping his hair, as he worked on your orgasm.
He plunged his digits again, rhythmatic with the little pants escaping your mouth, along with the slick sounds of your hips buckling down his fingers.
He smirked internally at your enthusiasm.
“So fucking nasty for me huh?” He said against your pussy, licking and sucking till you were nothing but withering in mindless pleasure. You were taking it well, suppressing your moans into breathless pants until he sucked, fingers pressing the most sensitive spot inside you.
A shriek fell past your lips, knees buckling, followed by a string of moans and whimpers. “Oh— fuck..” you try closing your thighs which he prevents with his iron grip of one hand, forcing it open till he has better access. “Don't even dare closing on me…”
The wet sounds of his fingers, plunging in and out of your gummy walls, echoed throughout the empty room.
Something coiled hot and fuzzy in the lower pit of your stomach. You clenched hard around his finger, when the bass-heavy beats of the band's concert began, causing you to involuntarily shove satoru’s face deeper into your cunt as you heard voices from the stage outside.
Geto's unmistakable voice rang out, accompanied by the heavy drumming of nanami. They had started performing without satoru.
“Nn’toru they start—” your voice died down into a breathless gasp as you felt your pelvic muscles clench, tension looping around your entire body as fiery sensations erupted. You arch your back against the wall, unable to stop your toes curling at the intensity of his tongue lapping, finger fuckin' you, as your vision gets blurry.
“Yeah…cum for me baby” his velvety murmurs were all it took for you to turn into a mess of sensations, your body erupting as your high came down bursting, dripping and spilling down your thighs, his chin and his neck.
Satoru lapped up the drops carelessly strewn about your skin, his tongue tracing a path along the droplets splattered on your inner thighs as he savored everything with anticipation.
“Tell me, would I kneel infront of anyone and let them cum this hard on my fingers?” He straightened himself up, “and then drink it up like a pussy drunk male whore?” his gaze never left yours, wiping the leftover slick from his chin with the back of his hand before licking it clean.
The music from outside has now gained its intensity, thrumming even louder.
No— you mouthed.
Satoru’s gaze was still fixed at you, when he unzipped his pants, his aching cock sprang out red, already leaking precum.
You gape at his girth.
It was big.
And fucking thick.
Leaning in, Satoru brings his lips close to your ear, his voice clear over the blaring music from outside, “Like what you see—”
You didn't get to answer him before he slammed right in.
A cry of pleasure tore from your throat, as you loop your hands around his neck, nails digging on his back.
He hissed out a breath, restraining himself from moving till you adjusted to his size.
Only then did he slowly pull it out leaving only the tip inside. You grimace at the loss of fullness until he slams back in causing you to clench around him.
He let out a low guttural moan which was almost inaudible to you over the roar of music if you weren't so close to each other, feeling the raw desire of his voice vibrating on your skin.
“Tell me— hahh- would I let anyone clench this hard on me if this weren't you?”
You were at a loss for words.
The kind, polite, sweet satoru you knew was gone. In his place was someone who fucked hard.
When you don't answer he pulls out and slams right back in harsh, eyes gleaming with wicked intent.
Satisfied, satoru guides his one hand to tapping on your thigh suggesting you wrap your legs up around him.
He repositions his dick on your entrance, before supporting your weight with one hand, pinning your body completely to the wall, while the other hand grabs your neck, choking you before giving you a sloppy breathless kiss.
“You like it don't ya’ hmm fuck— so tight—”
Your cries came out choked as he pounded into you, in an insane manner, desperate and primal.
“Tell me—”
Thrust
“do you—”
Thrust
“still think I'm just being polite?”
Thrust.
The roar of geto's voice singing out aloud different notes masked out the filth of your moans.
The sensation was in again, hot and uproar, coiling beneath the core of your consciousness. Satoru sensed you being close to your climax, continued to plow into your pussy, now supporting your weight with both hands against the wall.
Your toes curled again, nails digging down his back almost scratching the fabric, “yes that's it love,” your eyes rolled back as you arch your neck unable to handle the pleasure, “cum for me…”
Your mouth forming a little ‘o’, mind blank as your eyes saw stars. The only consciousness left in your body directed you to the burning of your heat, till it came crashing down.
You came hard letting your head fall on his shoulders too spent for anything.
Satoru too chased his high, thrusting into your swollen pussy, his cock twitching inside you, till you felt him getting sloppy and tense before cumming into you.
The music was still very loud, beats thrumming your flushed veins.
None of you said anything, remaining in the same position. Satoru pulled himself out, his cum dripping out your vagina, before walking over and placing you on a nearby chair.
He cleaned you up gently tugging your clothes back and fixes himself before cleaning the mess near the wall.
“They— they started performing without you…” you huff out, drained still in the very euphoria of your pleasure satoru showed you.
“I told them to do so…” he shouted over the noise.
You remain stunned for a while, letting out a breath. “I'm sorry…I avoided you.”
“Here I thought you were giving me a thousand kisses as an apology.”
You chuckle at him, back to his normal self— your sweet, kind and maybe not so polite satoru…
He came over to you, lifting you effortlessly before plopping himself down on the chair with you on his lap.
“I missed you.”
“I missed you too.”
“No but I missed you like crazy…” he pouted. “y/n be my girlfriend…please.”
Tears start forming in your eyes, overwhelmed, you never thought the satoru gojo you met at the mall, the satoru gojo you loved your entire high school would someday ask you to be his girlfriend.
To paint his heart with your love.
“I will.”
“no wait— marry me instead!”
You dug your face deeper into his chest, laughing at his playfulness. And satoru just smiled.
Finally he would be yours.
you and Satoru started dating since then and things couldn't have been any better for him. He practically announced to the world that you were his girlfriend, always picking you up and dropping you off from campus, and claiming a kiss as his reward. You’d also cut Yura off, not wanting any more negativity in your life. Satoru was yours, and you were his. And He couldn't be any happier.
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