#like i didnt even have to do anything i just screenshotted a frame and she looked amazing in it lmao

[spiralmode]

spiral + @screenshotsofdespair IV

[maryhadalittlehobby]

Recap of my experiences at the IWTV Premiere April 30, 2024

I found out about if from one of the most unlikiest sources. A person I thought was an even bigger fandom lurker than myself😅 I wasn't even gonna ask but I said fuck it, maybe they know someone who knows someone. And they did but said people were under ndas. Initially said they couldn't say but then last minute said they believe they knew where it was going to be.

I didn't say anything because 1) I didn't want them or their friend to get in trouble by spreading the info. 2) possibly spread misinfomation if that wasn't the place and 3) nobody asked lol

I thought I would just show up and see what I could see. In the past I have done this at a Walking Dead premiere. At that event it turned out that they had a lobby full of props that anyone could enter and take pics of. They even had walkers roaming around. Then the kicker-I got into that TWD premiere TICKETLESS by pure accident! So why not fuck around and find out again.

I put on a "closet cosplay" of Claudia in the upcoming yellow dress using all stuff I already owned and headed out.

I walked up to Mckittrick hotel, asked if there was a standby or waiting list but the person said they didnt know. There was a lot of important looking people surrounded with guards double checking lists and whatnot so I gave up that angle and loitered around with the other 15 or so fans who found the location too hoping to just see a glimpse of our favs.

Didn't have to wait to long as one by one they started showing up. The first one I noticed was Delainey and she slayed in that black sheer number. She was soft-spoken and a little shy but took her time and signed/took pictures with all the people who were there. Not sure if she knew I was cosplaying Claudia but she did compliment my contacts.

I had all my pics on motion video so if I didnt like the actual pic there was a few frames of vid to pick from as well. The actual video is a bonus! Too bad I can only link 1 video here but a lot of vids are on my IG in the highlight. Same name!

Then Sam came. As soon as he exited the car the wind blew his hair back and I lost my train of thought. He is pretty and his eyes are a lighter shade of blue than they look in pics. Also he is blonder! And so slim! The suit they had him in was a fun nod to vintage suits.

He too complimented my contacts! In the vid he is asking me questions about them but as soon as I take the pic another fan was yelling his name and grabbed his attentionl. Not mad lol I probably would have gotten less coherent the more I talked😅

Jacob showed up soon after-all smiles. What a cutey. He was damn near falling in the garbage they had us lowly non invites next to trying to contort this way and that to sign and take pics. Again-so small! And he too complimented my contacts😁 if the suit would have been properly tailored( the pants looked to long!) It would have been slay

Not gonna lie I kinda blacked out after meeting Sam so my memory with jacob is fuzzy.

Assad and Luke arrived together shortly after but got whisked away pretty quickly so I didn't get a pic with them. Eric was the very first to arrive and despite me being there I missed him too.

But I was sooo happy getting the unholy family little else mattered. I contemplated waiting after but I was BUZZING with adrenaline and starving lol. My fandom plug said she did come after and met EVERYONE and their momma. Cast and crew alike and they were still happy to engage even after their long night❤️

Finally Fang Gangers, please do not repost/ reupload/ or screenshot anything of mine as your content. Linking back / sharing is ok.

🖤🧛🏾‍♀️

[demadogs]

what do you think differentiates mike from being gay as opposed to bi? i love all ur analysis posts btw

ok so one thing that convinced me is the scene of them kissing at the beginning of s3. its pretty subtle, i didnt notice it until someone else here pointed it out, but el tries to touch mike while kissing him and he doesnt let her. her hands are on his face and he moves them and then she goes for his chest and he moves them again. its hard to show it in just screenshots but you can see it in the very first few seconds of this clip.

another one is the fact that el was mistaken for a boy multiple times in s1. even i thought she was a boy before i watched the show bc the first thing i saw of stranger things was a gifset on here of the reveal of el in the rain a couple weeks after it came out. i knew it was about some missing boy and i thought el was him and only realized shes a girl once i watched it. anyways i wouldnt consider this substantial evidence if it werent for the fact that two characters say she looks like a boy and one mistakes her for a boy. mike might have subconsciously thought she would be a socially acceptable romantic partner that would satisfy him more than a really feminine girl would. and once el does look more feminine in s3 thats when you see how unhealthy their relationship is.

another thing is mikes reaction to max in s2. lucas and dustin are immediately attracted to her and mike’s just pissed off about it. you can argue that its bc he doesnt have el, but it could also be bc he doesnt see why lucas and dustin would be attracted to her at all and hes mad that theyre thinking so much about her when hes concerned about will.

i am SO annoying about this one. this is like the fifth time ive brought it up in an ask but listen its the answer to so many asks ive gotten. this frame:

this sells me on him being gay instead of bi bc he’s framed in the closet while el kisses him and the door perfectly divides their kiss. they could show a frame of him in a closet any time to hint at him being queer but they chose to do it specifically when el kisses him. also the fact that the closet divides their kiss perfectly indicates that the closet is the reason he’s not kissing her or saying he loves her back. that wouldnt be the case if he were bi. he may not love her but it wouldnt have anything to do with his sexuality bc he’d still like girls so framing him like this wouldnt be necessary.

lastly, i dont think mike would have a problem breaking up with her if it was simply bc he doesnt love her, not bc he doesnt like girls in general. it’s clear that mike isnt in love with el right? especially after that one-sided kiss and him having no emotional or happy response to her saying she loves him. then why is he hanging onto the relationship for so long if theres nothing there? at the very least i would think we’d see him talking to one of the guys about him not loving her or wanting to break up with her and not knowing how but instead he just stays in the relationship bc he doesnt want to accept the fact that hes gay. i think this was represented well with that one recent finn and millie interview. i forget which one of them said it but they said “its like theyre married and theres no option for divorce”. milevens threw a party when they read that line but honestly its just sad and fits this point really well.

[technowoah]

Forever Was a Long Time Ago

Where you and Clay find yourselves caught up in someone elses lies.

- ANON REQUESTED!

- FEM READER!

Prompts!

4) "I never fucking wanted this/that!"

16) "Stop bringing it up"

⚠︎ toxic relationship, swearing, mentions of sex (?), and horrible writing. I didn't proofread either

It was hard to not talk to him, but that was your decision at the moment. You didnt even tell him what was the matter, and you refused to until you found out your real feelings about where you lie. Right now you were mad, fuming, of course you were refusing to talk to him because he dosen't talk to you.

The reason why the distance between you and Clay grew further and further apart was that a stupid tweet from this girl. He knew what he wae doing too, it was like him to do this behind the scenes. It was a tweet that showed him at a dinner table with another person other than you across the table from him. At least they had the decency to exclude his face from the frame, but the hands, and clothes were something you were all used to. The tweet continued on and on, and you believed every word.

He knew what he was doing. He did this often, because jealousy was a big thing in your relationship. You can admit it isnt all just him too, it was a possesive relationship. It wasn't healthy at all and you knew it. Your friends and family knew too, but you two always found yourself in his arms.

Clay liked to toy with you, but this was taking it too far. You ended up messaging the creator of the tweet and they said that everything was true and they went into extreme detail too. They even brought up screenshots of messages that you would deem fake. If it wasn't for your rage right, you would've debunked that right away.

Wallowing in your anger was a common thing for both of you in the relationship. The first time this happend was at a small party Clay invited you to. He ended up flirting and paying all of his attention to another person just to get you jealous. It started off innocent to make something more out of nothing, but became worse with time. You started to do the same to him and vice versa, it became a habit more than a thing to make eachother horny for a night.

The jealousy thing became more of a guilty pleasure, and the guilty pleasure became cheating. For you two it was okay because you two were going back to eachother, it was okay until now. Now a person was rubbing it in your face, usually it was a quick night without eachother, ignoring one another for a week and then getting back together until the cycle completes again.

It was emotionally tiring but you couldn't break out of it, maybe this was a sign to stop.

Today marks a week and a half with no contact with Clay. You had locked yourself up in your home today, you couldn't bother to do anything productive today. It was just one of those days, and it was a day where you wondered if Clay would text or call you. You shamelessly watched his livestreams, you missed his voice, his touch, his whole being. You wondered if his friends were saying the same stuff about you your friends were saying about him.

You were a puppet. You fell everytime his hands weren't pulling the strings and right now you wouldn't be under his control. You refused this time.

Speaking of the devil, your phone chimed signaling that you have received a message. You had opened it and it was one of many extremely vauge texts from Clay.

( Clay )

Im coming over now

[read]

Not bothering to text back, you continued to pay attention to something else. You were ready to confrony him and put an end to this.

It was a few minuted before you heard the lock on your door being unlocked and a voice calling for you.

"You home?!"

"In the living room!"

He reached the living room and sat in a smaller chair to your right. You two sat in silence until you worked up to courage to speak.

"Why are you here?" You asked him breaking the silence.

"Why did you let me in here?" Clay retorted.

"I mean, it's not like you just invited yourself in. You had to have something to say."

"Not necessarily, can I just visit my girl?" Clay leaned back into his seat.

"Yeah you can, but I wouldn't consider myself your girlfriend." You sat up and croseed your arms. Your phone was to your side waiting to show him the evidence.

"Really? What is this, the 5th time you've said that?" Clay rolled his eyes in response.

"You've done the same thing more time than I could count. You have no right to talk."

"I have absolutely every right." Clay smirked. He knew he was getting under your skin.

"So, Why did you go out with that girl?" You asked bluntly.

"Why wouldn't I? I mean it isnt a big deal we're here now."

"To me it is a big deal!"

"It never fucking was before when you were seeing another guy!" Clay yelled sitting up.

"I never fucking wanted this?! I never wanted to see you with a different guy, but here we are!"

"I didn't fucking start this whole cheating rabbit hole thing!" You flared your arms.

"What I saw was that you were talking with that girl for a while! It was months."

"What?!"

You had brought out your phone and pulled up the messages and extended your arm to give him your phone to read. He had taken the phone out of your hand with a confused face on his face. You waited while he scrolled through text messages while an emotion you couldn't read was on his face.

"Would you be mad if I said it was all true?" Clay had this look of caution on his face.

"YES! I fucking would!" You exclaimed in disbelief.

"I still dont know why?"

You stood up wanting to let off some steam. "This is what we do! Dont you see?! We keep going in circles. I go out with a man, and you get mad. You go out with a girl and I get mad, we come back together, but a whole month?!"

"Does it matter?!" Clay stood up too.

"Yes!"

"Remember when-"

"No! We're talking about YOU right now and how this little fling started a month ago. If you loved her that much stay!"

"Remember when you spent two nights over that boys house and-"

"Stop bringing it up!" You interrupted him.

"Then you stop trying to act like you're a saint!"

Pausing for a moment you wanted to get out of this situation. Clearly this argument wasn't getting anywhere or heading to the right place, your body temperature was hot, you needed to clear your head.

You tried walking away, but Clay held you there. "I dont "love" her I never-!"

"You stayed consistent with her more than me!"

"Stop acting like you're such a angel! Acting like you haven't dont the same too!"

"Not for that long! Get that through your head!" You tried walking away again, but he had a grip on you wrist.

You glared at him, staring right into his eyes, his grip getting slightly tighter wanting to make you stay.

"Let me go."

He froze at that and stood still. After sll this time of you two being together, you have never said those words. They had multiple meanings at this moments. One being "let me go physically" and the other being "let me go so I can move on." You had meant both.

"You mean it?"

"What do you think I mean?" You asked, his grip on your wrist stayed there as you awaited his answer.

He paused for a moment and then he started to speak. "You want to leave this relationship. That's what I believe."

"Well. You are right. Clay I'm tired. You know that!"

His grip on your wrist loosened. He was giving you an opening to leave and you took it. You took that opening and when your hand left his you two were done with eachother. The confrontation was quick, it usually was like this, today you just wanted it to be over. You grabbed your keys and a coat from the coat rack needing some fresh air

"You need to leave my house by the time I get back. Okay?" You turned around to see Clay in the same spot you left him in. He nodded and you slipped on your shoes and left the house for the night.

The windows of your car were rolled down as you rode through the streets not having a destination in mind. It was clear to you, a weight lifted from your shoulders and a new opening was near, but you couldn't see it yet.

You could breathe now, nothing else mattered. You had stopped at a red light and you phone continued to light up. There was not that many drivers on the road at this hour, so you opened the phone to a string of messages.

( Clay )

She lied

I was trying to tell you, but you lashed out, but I understand

I'll focus on you I promise. I wont break promises anymore.

Come back

[read]

You sighed looking at the messages and a wave of guilt washed over you. You had found a place to turn your car around and drive back to your house where he was waiting for you against your wishes.

The circle was completed once more.

[lily-orchard-gossip-blog]

Anonymous Submission

these are the relevant screenshots to that ask i sent about the family guy episode

1. in the GoW tropes vs ida davis, lily shows this list of her stated favorite episodes of family guy (video is public on her channel, as shown by the current icon of her and mikaila, as well as mikailas name in the handle). she presents this list genuinely, as she describes her top favorite episode, quagmires dad (the episode the video is mostly about), as having been her favorite throughout her transition, and then spends the video explaining why

2 and 3. the thing i kind of remembered where she praises the episodes for being funny/"an acid trip" in SSPs case, and vindicating that the abuser is killed/"action is taken" in SoSs case (like i said in the other ask, in my opinion, just because the abuser dies doesnt excuse the "flaws" or "shortcomings" lily is conveniently being coy about, being the episode blaming the abuse survivor for her abuse—i also didnt mention this before but i thought of it now, killing the abuser is all well and good and i do actually personally feel vindicated watching "action being taken" like i dont Disagree with lily necessarily on that, but it again centers the issue around someone other than the abuse survivor: quagmire kills jeff to save brenda and "take action" since the police wouldnt, but it frames it as a conflict between quagmire and jeff and completely shoulders brenda, who this SHOULD be about, completely out of the narrative. based on what i know of aliana in TSR, i think lily probbaly enjoys filling the "savior" role that quagmire plays in that episode. just food for thought)

4. lily trying to act like it was all a joke and she didnt mean anything she said about any of that, its not her fault that her audience thought she liked the episode/s that screamed abuse apologia, even though she presented the information like she believed what she was saying and had NO hint of sarcasm or... parody... or idk, fucking ANYTHING shes lying im saying shes lying about the list not being genuine we all know it is but shes trying to cover her ass for enjoying problematic media. which is FINE btw who fucking cares, its fine to like the damn episodes, but dont pretend like u were being facetious the whole time. doing the whole "im just kidding if u disagree, but im totally serious if u agree" thing makes her look so stupid i swear

[antiloreolympus]

11 Anti LO Asks

1. heres the thing to me. i think a lot of us love a good messed up character, we love it when theyre assholes, who doesnt? theyre fun to read/watch, the issue in LO is rachel made sure to set up persephone/hades/hera/eros as can do no wrong perfect beings who uwu feel so bad for the stuff theyre forced to do or anything bad they do is excused off vague feelings or someone else pushing them too far. if rachel wanted complex characters then fine, why didnt she set them up like that from the start?

2. Something I don't get is how Minthe “gets off on making Hades miserable.” Like... I know some toxic and abusive people act on intent and are calculated but look me in the eyes and tell me Minthe wakes up every day specifically to make Hades miserable. 

From OP: Yeah, I have no idea why RS said that. Considering RS also said Minthe and Hades do care for each other.

3. LO fans cant claim to be feminists when they say the most misogynistic things about Minthe, Thetis, Aphrodite, and Leto because they aren't Persephone and/or Hera. They seriously cheered on Minthe being crippled, they call Aphrodite a slut and a whore all the time, they say Leto should be tortured, and are now calling for Thetis to be maritally r//ped for the sin of no being Hera. I'm not saying they have to like them, but they can't say stuff like that and still be so gendered in their hatred.

From OP: Literally the other day, someone sent me a screenshot of someone in a LO server saying Thetis should be married off to Apollo...and people reacted with the laughing emoji :|

4. is ariadne going to be helpless too? is she going to be assaulted by theseus for dionysus to "save" her? are pasiphae and minos going to be made abusive to excuse ariadne running away? does she even know the minotaur exists, what if she just makes him a normal bull as ~subversion~. is semele dying in such a horrible way going to be framed as a hashtag girlboss moment for hera? does she know with ruining apollo she robbed us of the popular friendship of hermes, apollo, and dionysus? i hate this.

5. It's stupid to me how RS is clearly setting up Zeus as the egotistical maniac who just wants to punish poor Persephone as if 1) committing and then covering up mass murder is ... ok? because Persephone does it? but more so 2) we already know her and Hades gets married, she becomes Queen, and won't face any actual punishment, so why waste so much time trying to push Zeus will punish her when we've already known for years she won't be? Like I know Rachel can't stand Zeus but this is just stupid.

6. I'm honestly shocked Rachel doesn't realize part of the reason Zeus slept around was propaganda? You can go on his wiki page right now and see the vast majority are just random people, and that's because it was used by kings to claim those were their ancestors and they have "divine authority" to be the king. Hell, even the immortals he had outside of Hera, at least according to Hesiod, were all BEFORE they were married, so doubly he's not at fault? He's still a horn-dog, but he's not evil.

7. didnt persephone say she wants to atone for her crimes and get punished? why is hades going out of his way to bully and threaten witnesses in court and even phsyically grab zeus? because that implies he doesnt care about what she wants and thinks shes too stupid to make her own decisions and he has to "protect" her. also if this is live broadcasted in universe, does he realize how even more of the UW citizens will hate him more for being so irrational and cruel in such a serious situation?

8. im sorry, i love a good simp too, but hades burning down every bridge he has (which is pretty limited, esp in the underworld) for some teenager he met like a month before at best is so??? bad?? like thats not charming or romantic, its showing a deeply disturbing sense of ownership from him over her and him not actually respecting her wants and decisions. also it just makes him look like a jackass who is acing like a bratty child being told "no" over a respected king of the underworld.

9. (REC) This comic just re-launched on Featured from Canvas but you guys should read LMLY! It's by a BIPOC female creator and it's a sweet story is about a mixed-race couple and it's such a nice, pretty read. I read it on Canvas and it seems to not have changed much about it, so it it's a really nice read! I highly recommend it!

10. can we just point out in that confession ask that it's super ableist to say hephaestus is flawed because of his disability and rachel is promoting that with her same face characters? bc even in the conservative ancient greece held hephaestus to be more perfect than even the best human, so idk how they think saying that is ok?

11. The plot is still a hot mess but I feel like the art has improved drastically in the last 3 chapters. The characters have greater internal consistency, variance in facial features between characters and the composition of some panels is just phenomenal (RS can’t anatomy for shit but not her compositions are amazing). I especially love the panel of Hades floating while defending Perse. I really hate how he’s violent towards Zeus though… he’s just as nasty as we recall smh mans never gonna change

[anime-pro-shitposter]

wonder egg ended and I’m disappointed <3

shit where do I even begin okey:

I’m not gonna bother taking screenshots i’m too mad and i want to rant. *i ended up too frustrated and took screenshots*

functionalities:

a.. goddamn.. recap.. AGAIN.. they literally have a recap in the original run what is this mess of a studio and not even 10 mins they did a whole 25 mins recap.. my blood is boiling.. next and well most importantly the art is really bad and i get oh we shouldnt be so pissed at artists for the time frame but my god they had 3 months and the ep was literally 20 mins (cuz of the 25 mins RECAP) so what excuse? the backgrounds are mostly stupid no art just colors, and if u look more critically they have too many scenes from the back or far away.. there are bits with a weird place where neiru and ai stand? frill was literally added there for no reason? and even when they viewed neirus dream it was literally just a voice over 😭😭 we didnt EVEN GET TO SEE HER SISTER😭😭 im ah…… when ai threw the phone it was Literally Black Outside my god thats shit and the movement was shit. the last last like 5 mins were fine but honestly in comparison to what i know they can do (ep11 with frill) its just underwhelming to say the least. idk just watch it and tell me this isnt stupid and disrespectful. sheesh.

seriously seriously look wtf is this?????

WHAT IS THAT??? so bland and feels so not in touch with what the series is so far art wise.. eh

Storywise:

I dont mind the way neiru is an AI and I mean she alluded to this since long, however I guess there was a real neiru at one point??? how does she have a sister and the fact that we got ZERO explanation about that? also she isnt the type to just get up and leave did she trade herself/her life? wtf happened idk im way too confused.. like did frill take her? and we still didn’t get ANYTHING about how frill can even manipulate any of this no explanation about dot and hyphen nothing it literally answered nothing just made us weirded out by the friends suddenly deciding they arent that much of friends afterall!!

but what actually pisses me off is ai refusing the call.. You Want Me To Believe that????? IT MAKES NO SENSE completely out of character. ah yes the girl who she has been calling foe about a million times she Refuses her Call because?? she’s an AI? since when is ai that shallow? and rika’s reaction too? like that’s it? and she never even went back to neirus house? wtf its a complete and utter mess. ai just got her whole character arc demolished right in front of us. the stupidness of the ending that she transferred schools? for what? how did the friend with blonde hair travel through parallel worlds? neiru got her sister back but not her? they literally dropped story points from before…

we never got to see how rika and momoe got over their intense fears? they just did? had to? IDK ITS Shit and im beyond mad they did them dirty.. they were barely even mentioned and sidelined completely to fit this weird conflict about neiru that no one asked for.. literally the last of rika we see is her crying saying she’ll die of pain FROM THE BACK..

we dont see how they deal with their friends that they sacrificed so much for no longer knowing them.. we barely see any pain at all about that even and it gets also pushed to the side. even if lets say neirus story is worth exploring just explore it dont vaguely mention it and give no explanation and NO EVEN VISUALS for it but the shitty empty abstract place like wtf.. idk im sad yall

lastly they brushed the mf teacher to the SIDE like literally acting like he was nothing.. the whole story point of him was weird and unfitting honestly but i was fine with it because well they are kids and he is a bit weird but the dude didn’t exactly Do Something.. but alsooososososso the reveal of the Big Big Question right? the one of why did koito kill herself? and we get this stupid 2 seconds lines from the teacher saying she slipped and fell.. she.. slipped.. and fell.. and that she was threatening him which okey okey but.. she slipped.. let that sink in

final thoughts:

I feel robbed seriously.. wonder egg meant so much to me and I could see the potential it had so many right elements and seriously could’ve been great. exploring girlhood, pain, sewerside, relationships, friendships, love, unrequited love, gender issues, and much much much more. making such lovable characters then smashing them on the ground. idk what went on inside the damn studio im going to look now but i am gonna learn japanese just to send them a bullying letter for this. i appreciate all those that worked truly but i still think this is not the best that they can do im sure of it.

Thank you for reading I would rant more but this has gotten too long :D byee

[piximiplays]

Take Us Back “Review” ig

Wow that episode was just... wow 😭 That was actually a really good ending (at least the one I got, I'm not sure about any other endings there might be) to an amazing series 😭😭

Also, if you haven’t blocked the twdg spoilers tag, I’ll put a break here but if you haven’t played the episode and/or don’t want major spoilers for Take Us Back, don’t read the rest of this long ass post. You have been warned. (That sounded super serious sksksksks 😂)

Ok so I’m just gonna start off with the beginning when AJ voiced the “last time on The Walking Dead” like damn that entire sequence put my anxiety (which was already super high because I was literally freaking out about possibly getting Clem or anyone else killed) through the roof. He was listing all the things I’ve taught him in the past and that shit honestly gave me ten different types of anxiety.

So, I got James killed in the last episode so I have no idea what he says in this episode or anything like that, but I’ve heard that it’s not great sksksksk

Anyway, the fact that we literally saw James as a walker broke me so much I was literally crying at that point.

And then when AJ said he wanted to be a firefighter damn that shit was lowkey kinda cute. At that point I was a little more relaxed because we were somewhat safe in the cave.

But then shit went so south when we left the cave and after we met up with Violet.

Of course I had to mention the tree house and omg I almost cried again just thinking back to season 1 when we met Clementine in her tree house 😭 (Even though I’m pretty sure she said she hated her tree house in season 2 abgsfhj)

And of course I had to rename Ericsons to Castle Violet who do you think I am

But the bridge OOF

Fuckign Minerva akajsfkjh I’m wondering if there was a way where she could have lived I highly doubt it but damn I wasn’t expecting her just die like that wow I was lowkey kinda hoping maybe she would get some kind of redemption but wow that whole dragged out death was so gruesome but not necessarily in a bad way, at least not for this series sksksksks

And damn Minnie just had to fucking slice Clem’s leg that shit looked like it hurt askdjashdg

AND THEN TENN FUCKIGN DIED WHAT THE FUCK

I think if I hadn’t told AJ to make the tough calls then he wouldn’t have shot Tenn, and Violet probably would have died instead (or Louis if you saved him at the end of episode 2) Fucking hell

And when we split up and Vi went back to the school goddamnit that scared me because I had a feeling something was gonna go wrong  AND I WAS FUCKING RIGHT WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK

At this point I was fucking crying my goddamn eyes out because CLEM GOT FUCKING BIT WHAT THE ACTUAL SHIT JFHJKSGHJGF

I was such a mess at this point there was honestly no saving me

The entire time I was shouting at Clem to just chop her leg off at that point because there was no way that Clem was gonna die in such a stupid way like damn. wait fuck that's how Lee died AKSFJKG IM SORRY LEE I DIDNT MEAN TO DISRESPECT YOU LIKE THAT FUCK

Anyway

And then when I got that fucking achievement after that at that point like, first of all fuck you game, second of all fuck you. But seriously, I was genuinely wondering if there was any way to avoid her getting bitten but idk at this point it’s almost 1am I have school in the morning and I am way too tired to replay the entire episode even though it was a lot shorter than I thought it was gonna be tbh probably because I didn’t look around for collectibles as much and because I probably didn’t pause the episode as much as I usually do while making hard decisions sksksks

And then when we made it to the barn and we fucking started playing as AJ I was freaking out at this point

But when Clem was literally dying I was sobbing the entire time and just fuck, the parallels between that and season 1 when Lee died goddamn that shit hurted

I literally had to pause the game at this point because AJ was crying right in my ears and I couldn’t focus because I was also crying and only one of us can cry at a time buddy

Originally in episode 3 I told AJ to leave Clem if she ever got bit but fuck I didn’t think it was actually gonna happen so I changed my mind and told AJ to kill her because god damn I’m not gonna let her turn into a walker fuck that (even though that’s exactly what I did with Lee fuck) (Also I just looked and I’ve literally used the word fuck in this post like 23 times so far sksksksksks 😂)

And when it cut to black after that, literally all that was left was the sound of my sobs goddamn. And the achievement “final lesson” that shit just made me cry even harder

And the fucking ranch flashback right after goddamnit I was still mourning Clem you can’t just have me play as her again like that, shit. Also damn poor AJ 😭😭

And then when AJ was fishing and Rosie showed up damn she actually put a smile on my face somehow. I didn’t think that was possible at that point

Clem’s hatttt 😭 I was so scared I wouldn’t get it because I kept missing the quick time events but then Rosie got it thank god

And omg when we got back to the school and Take Us Back started playing I was even more of a mess I thought the episode was gonna end there but boy am I glad it didn’t

Also omg Ruby and Aasim holding hands damn that shit was adorable

When the music faded out and shit, I was like ok I think there’s still a little more to the episode but then FUCKING CLEM STARTED TALKING AND AT FIRST I WAS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING IS AJ IMAGINING THIS BUT NO CLEM WAS ALIVE AND OH MY GOD I LITERALLY STARTED CRYING AGAIN BUT THIS TIME THEY WERE HAPPY TEARS AJHAFSGF

I was so fucking glad that Clementine was alive I didn’t even care about the fact that she was missing a leg I was just so glad to see her oh my god I really thought she was dead

And they all lived happily ever after

Jk except for Tenn GODDAMNIT HE DESERVED BETTER

But seriously, I was so glad Clem wasn’t dead and that mostly everyone was alive I seriously thought I was gonna get a shitty ending (But I’m also a little confused on how Clem survived the bite. I know she obviously cut her leg off and she did say something to AJ about she was glad he didn’t listen to her in the barn which I’m assuming was referring to when she told him to kill her, but if that was where Clem had her leg chopped off, I feel like the bite would already have spread to the rest of her system at that point? Idk I’m not gonna question it I’m just extremely glad she’s not dead)

And the very ending where we walked through the hallway and it showed all the names from the Still Not Bitten Team damn I loved that so much

And omg when we went into the room and were able to look at Disco Broccoli and his friends, I noticed that the option to look at Disco Broccoli kept popping up so I kept selecting it and ALKHASDFJKG I FELT LIKE I ENTERED ANOTHER DIMENSION WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT I don’t wanna spoil it but y’all need to see that if you haven’t already skskskkssk whether you replay the episode and see yourself or if someone makes a video of it on YouTube (which I feel like someone will eventually)

But omg the very ending with the “thank you for playing” that shit hurted 😭 I literally started crying again but not nearly as much as I thought I would tbh I thought I would be bawling my eyes out for hours but at this point I just feel kinda numb 😂 Like it hasn’t really set in that The Walking Dead just ended. Maybe because I can immortalize it forever in my Steam library and replay it however many times I want (and by reading fanfiction sksksksksks) 

(Also this post is gonna be put into my queue until more people play the episode so it probably won’t be posted until later tomorrow. So just know that this post was made at 1 in the morning a few hours after the release of episode 4 and I have to go to school tomorrow morning. Wish me luck)

Long story short, that entire episode was amazing (even if it did fuck with my head a little and was a little emotionally scarring sksksks) and I am so glad I was basically able to grow up with Clementine and this entire series

Also here are some screenshots because why not 😂

sksksksk AJ’s face 😭😂

This shit hurted 😭 (But it’s also a really pretty picture and I highkey want this framed on my wall or at least as my wallpaper on my phone or some shit)

What the fuck when did I ever say it was okay to try and kill someone if they try to steal from you alskhjags (Update: I just realized that this was referring to when I attacked Abel aksjdhkhg AJ THATS NOT WHAT I WANTED YOU TO TAKE AWAY FROM THAT)

This was actually really cool and even though it made me feel a little guilty because some of these choices I made weren’t the best, oh well

And here are my choices because why not 😂

And lastly, I want to thank Skybound from the bottom of my heart for saving this incredible game. If it wasn’t for this company these last two episodes wouldn’t have ever come out and Clementine and AJ’s story wouldn’t have gotten a proper ending. So thank you so much Telltale for starting and creating this amazing game and thank you to Skybound for giving it a proper sendoff.

[therealkn]

David’s Resolution: Day -2

Day -2 (December 30, 2018)

The Night of the Hunter (1955)

“And then the good Lord went on to say, ‘Beware of false prophets which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly, they are ravening wolves. Ye shall know them by their fruits. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit. Neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. Wherefore by their fruits, ye shall know them.’”

There have been plenty of actors who’ve tried their hand at directing films, with varying degrees of success. A big example is Ron Howard, who started out acting in The Andy Griffith Show and Happy Days, then went on to become an accomplished filmmaker with a lot of good films like Apollo 13 and A Beautiful Mind. Clint Eastwood’s had a pretty solid career as a director, with films like Unforgiven and Million Dollar Baby. Same with Rob Reiner, who went from being known as Michael “Meathead” Stivic on All in the Family to being known as the director of This is Spinal Tap, The Princess Bride and Misery (and also North, much as we’d like to forget that film exists).

Mel Gibson took on directing Braveheart himself, and that film was also a big success commercially and critically (also has a great soundtrack by James Horner); same thing with Tom Hanks and That Thing You Do!. But not every actor who goes into directing met big success, at least initially, and one such example is Charles Laughton.

Charles Laughton was a great actor whose more memorable roles include William Porterhouse in 1932′s The Old Dark House, Dr. Moreau in 1932′s Island of Lost Souls (a really good old horror movie where he is the best thing in it), and Quasimodo in the 1939 adaptation of The Hunchback of Notre Dame, which portrayed Claude Frollo as a judge over 50 years before Disney’s animated adaptation of the story. He was a fantastic actor who sadly directed only one film, but at least the film he made is fucking incredible and one of the best thrillers of all time.

The Night of the Hunter is the story of one Rev. Harry Powell, played by Robert Mitchum. Powell is a traveling preacher who also happens to be a serial killer operating in the same vein as Bluebeard: he finds wealthy widows, marries them, kills them, takes their money, rinse, repeat. And his latest target is Willa Harper (played by Shelley Winters), a widow living in Depression-era rural West Virginia. Willa’s husband Ben (played by Peter Graves) was arrested, sent to prison, and executed for bank robbery and killing two men during the robbery, but it just so happens that Ben’s cellmate was Rev. Powell himself, who was serving time for car theft. And Powell learns that Ben, before his arrest, gave the money to his two children - his son John and his daughter Pearl - for them to hide, meaning that not only is Powell going to go after Willa, he’s going to go after her kids.

So after Powell is released from prison, he goes to Willa’s town and begins charming his way into the town and endearing himself to the townsfolk, which does two things. One is to show Robert Mitchum’s talents as an actor: he is legitimately charming and charismatic as he tells the now-famous story of why the words “hate” and “love” are tattooed on his knuckles, and he quickly endears himself to the town and to Willa and Pearl, even to the viewer in some degree. And that’s where the other thing comes in, and that is that it shows how goddamn terrifying Robert Mitchum can be.

I ended the It Happened One Night review saying “Robert Mitchum is a scary motherfucker”, and this movie shows why. There’s a reason the American Film Institute put Powell on their list of the 50 greatest movie villains of all time. The way Mitchum plays Powell is captivating not only in how charismatic he is, but also in how sinister he is. At all times, even when he’s singing hymns with the townsfolk at an outdoor picnic, there is always this sense that something doesn’t feel right. Even when he is played a little more for comedy, like when he’s peeking upside-down at Ben in prison like he’s Kilroy, or when he’s hollering like Daffy Duck after getting shot in the arm (we’ll get to that later), there’s still this feeling of unease around him. If anything, the fact he can be more comedic makes him scarier because it makes him feel more like an actual person. It makes him more grounded and fleshed out and all the more disturbing.

Powell soon marries Willa and kills her, but not before convincing her that she has been a wicked woman - their honeymoon is him making her feel ashamed for wanting sex in a marriage, and she soon adapts herself to her beliefs. This leads to what I feel is the most disturbing and terrifying scene in the movie, where Willa is preaching to the townsfolk about her “formerly wicked” ways, surrounded by torches as she preaches her rhetoric. It’s legitimately terrifying to see her indoctrinated into these beliefs and speaking these words in this way.

Willa dies at Powell’s hands, and it eventually leads to John and Pearl striking out on their own, travelling downriver to avoid the pursuing Powell. This eventually brings them to Rachel Cooper, an old woman played by Lillian Gish who takes care of stray children, and who takes them in to live with her. Rachel is established as a badass old lady who does have a very kind and understanding side. The film reaches its peak when Powell tracks the children to Rachel, who doesn’t buy his sob story about Willa’s death for one moment and, when Powell goes after John, immediately goes for her shotgun to force Powell off, leading into a tense nighttime standoff between the reverend and Rachel. And how it ends... yeah, not spoiling this one. You’ll have to see it for yourself.

Put simply, it’s really depressing that Laughton didn’t direct another film. This is one of those movies that took some time to be seen as a classic. When it first came out, it did not do very well with critics or audiences, and it really got to Laughton to where he didn’t direct another film. It sucks because I’d have loved to have seen him direct more films, because if The Night of the Hunter is anything to go by, he’d have given us more great classics like it. This makes me wonder if after his death, he saw the film’s reception even today and how so many see it as a classic.

All the acting in the film is great, from Mitchum and Gish and Winters to the child actors, even to the Spoons, an old couple who are friends with the Harper family and whom the wife Icey (yes, her name is Icey Spoon) I absolutely fucking hate as a character. That’s not a bad thing, I think she was designed to be a character you hate, and if that is the case then it’s done very well. The music by Walter Schumann is excellent at conveying mood, especially when things get dark. But then you get to the cinematography and the lighting, and that’s the really good shit.

That screenshot I used for the film is the perfect example of that. The use of lighting in this film is god-tier and there are few films before or since that have used light like The Night of the Hunter. The symbolism behind it is very simple - light and dark, good and evil - but it’s absolutely striking. There are shots that are beautiful to look at and haunting at the same time: the ethereal depiction of Willa’s body in her car at the bottom of the river, the whole thing framed like a painting; the shot of John and Pearl sleeping in a barn when John sees Powell on horseback in the distance, searching for the kids; and the scenes with John and Pearl floating downriver, with the night sky above and the animals watching on the ground. There’s some really beautiful imagery in the film and it’s worth watching just for that.

I highly recommend this movie. Just the cinematography and lightning’s enough to make you want to see this movie for how great it looks, but it’s also a top-notch thriller with one of cinema’s greatest and most terrifying villains. Also, this is the first movie that I’d recommend you watch in the dark, preferably in the evening or in the early morning before the sun rises.

Next time: a Joan of Arc film, but not the kind you’re thinking of.

[plunder-heaven-and-devour-god]

This fan base never ceases to amaze me. Apparently, no one moved pass their SuperWhoLock mentality.

I loved the film, but I’m still adjusting, that is all I will say about the Last Jedi. 

Having a good or bad reaction to the content does not bar me from critiquing any production experience of a major film franchise. I can admire a film franchise I dont like for its creativity and cast and crew, and I can critique one I do like for where it goes wrong. 

But I have written this as a reaction the internet’s hatred toward’s Rian Johnson, not the film, not his choices, not Lucasfilm’s or Disney’s choices. That is an entirely different subject. This is about the hatred that sprung from the ground like oil out of nowhere. This dirty oil did not exists before December 15th. 

Where to start?

People are pulling up out of context interviews and tweets to make it seem that Rian Johnson was hated by the cast and no one wanted to work with him. I’ve seen every accusation under the sun. If you ask Tumblr, Reddit, IGN, etc, he’s everything from racist to Cthulhu. 

This type of reaction from the internet is predictive and cyclical. 

There was, and still is, a camp of disatisfied star wars fans born in 2015 dedicated to defaming J.J Abrams and The Force Awakens. This was in the wake of the criticism that The Force Awakens was too similar to A New Hope. Coincidence? If you said no, you’re right. 

But back to Rian. 

I want to state here and now that I don’t have a rosy tinted view of the production, I’m not saying everyone warmed quickly to the plot points of The Last Jedi. I want to state that no one, strangely, had a problem with the director. That’s it.

I hope that I can bring up some points that are on record to remind people, that maybe, if not surely, that this criticism is transparent and stupid. 

There was a slow evolution for the actors, like many of the avid star wars fan, to adjust to the change in gear for the franchise. I find it especially amazing that Mark Hamill went out of his way to publicly state his wariness and the disagreements on the script which the late Carrie Fisher collaborated on with Rian Johnson. Hamill came back and said he was wrong and now he is utterly in tune with Rian’s vision. If there were any hard feelings left they wouldn’t have mentioned it on the press tour. This isn’t remotely reminiscent of Chris Hemsworth staring into camera during the 2015 Ultron Press Tour and saying: I had no clue what was going on. 

If Hamill and Johnson hadn’t reconciled you can bet that their original disagreement wouldn’t have made itself known on the Star Wars 40th Anniversary Celebration Stage. If audiences want to counter and say that it was Disney’s plan all along to bolster the image of the Last Jedi, go ahead, it’s a damn good strategy. People disagree in creative circles, and to have one publicly state their agreement is a good thing. 

Carrie Fisher didn’t seem to be the only collaborator. Rian Johnson and John Boyega inform interviewers on separate occasions about how happy they were to work on progressing Finn’s character together. John Boyega took a huge lead in strengthening the character and making him stronger, he even cites rian’s auteurship as the reason for the maneuver room in the franchise. 

Gwendoline Christie also cites Rian’s collaboratory attitude when forging ahead with Phasma’s story. Oddly enough so does Oscar Isaac.

Daisy Ridley speaks about her wariness for the direction of the franchise as well. But she also speaks on how open the director was to input and how much he tried to make everyone feel comfortable. I say this because I saw someone pull up a tweet of Daisy’s reaction to J.J coming back to work on IX. The article states she apparently was delighted and cried with joy at the TFA director’s return. The blog post framed it as a relief and reprieve from Rian’s supposed reign of terror. This sounds very silly because J.J Abrams wasn’t AWOL during pre-production, production and post: He’s the producer. Not even executive producer. Producer. He is also present for writing/directing the third installment in the trilogy. The most important detail left out was that this was a reaction to Colin Trevormorrow who was slated to direct the third installment. I believe he left on creative differences with the Walt Disney corporation and lucasfilm. His vision for the film was not in tune with the direction of the movie. This was also a secondary source article, there was a clear bias in the words spoken by the article. 

Speaking of bias, the internet loves screenshots, so much so that they become subsitutes to whole videos and dialogues. An out of context picture is misleading, for better of worse.

The cast joke about the poker faces during interviews because their NDA comes with a side order of Mickey Mouse Snipers. But yet, bloggers on the internet take screencaps of the interviews mid questions and post them with captions like: They’re hiding their hatred for the director and/or the movie. In reality, they’re in the middle of listening to a question or trying to not react to a spoiler. If any of you have seen anything of the press tour, most of it is the cast trying to keep a straight face and avoid spoilers. And trust me, I watched the entirety of the press tour, I know which moments were screenshotted. 

If this sounds familiar it’s because the internet is predictable. This is beginning to sound a lot like how people tried to frame Adam Driver like some sort of 9/11 bigoted ex-soldier with no respect for his cast mates after TFA. There was divisive crowd who initiated a backlash against him simply because they didnt like the character. Remember half the reason he isn’t in most of the press junkets and press conferences? Half of it is his self proclaimed discomfort at the whole idea of the spotlight. But it isn’t absurd to think the other half is unfounded backlash he receives for his character.

I saw people also quoted one of Adam’s interviews and his feeling on 9/11 and left it at that. The blogger made it seem like he was what all liberals fear. They forgot to mention his exit from the Marines, the creation of his foundation for returning War Vets and reintegration and encouragement through the arts as a way to explore trauma. When I did my gendered violence class we found a Ted Talk with him talking about the toxic masculinity of the US military complex. It’s a great speech and its deeply profound. If you really care about feminist issues and the nature of the military backbone in the United States there is some great reading I can recommend but this is a good start.

I don’t want anyone to mistake my fondness for any of the characters for any biased defense. They are people too, they aren’t perfect, but they aren’t evil incarnate. I’m not opposed to dumping a content creator like a hot potato for violation of ethical rights and questionable conflicts in production. 

This is all to say that Tumblr finds ways to do what all bad journalists do: commence head hunts through clipped interviews, out of context quotes,images, and pseudo liberal pitchfork waving. 

I’m half expecting half the disgruntled fans to be Alicia Silverstone in the Scooby Doo movies. So much of the hatred on the internet feels like Freddie’s dialgue cut together to say: I THINK COOLSVILLE SUCKS.

All for what? For the same reason they don’t like the new movie. They’ll skim the surface for buzz words, absorb misunderstood information, and ignore internal meaning, and cast aside the answers to their questions which are explicitly stated. 

Until I see any facts that actually exist outside the draconian and dogmatic bubble of Tumblr’s bowels I think its safe to say that Rian and the cast are A-Okay with one another. I’m not avoiding being convinced, I just hope people can see HOW SILLY IT ALL SOUNDS.

It seems like we haven’t really progressed from the SuperWhoLock Days? Huh, Tumblr? It just seems to hide behind seemingly more lofty righteous reasons. 

[tumblunni]

Anyway! I’m having fun playing Monster Rancher Advance! YAAAAY! Absolutely none of this damn series was released in my country except MR2 for the playstation, so this is all my first experience trying some of the other games. Woo! Rambles below:

* The portrait sprites are really neat in this one, the characters actually lip-sync to the dialogue boxes. I wonder how they even programmed that on such a low power console? It looks a bit weird tho to have really animated lips on these tiny tiny simple faces that never move.

* I know in advance (lol) that this is the only game in the whole series that doesn’t have Hare monsters. WHY? I mean, its one of the big 5 anime monsters! and its also one of the most popular ones in both japan and america! AND IN MY HEART! so alas no bunnies for bunni until i play the next game

* I find it really interesting that in this game you dont actually play a newbie rancher for once. The game says you’re a veteran who’s travelled here to tutor these two other kids on how to rescue their failing barn. It still all works the same gameplay-wise, but its a nice twist on the usual protagonist-assistant formula!

* ...Thier names are Aroma and Zest. MAN, this series loves to use random english words for characters! The dude looks like a cute nerd big bro type and the girl’s design is a bit boring, I honestly would have thought she was Colt if not for the different eye colours. I know Colt kinda had similar design traits to Holly, but it wasnt this ridiculous! You gotta do something to set the new assistant apart, other than just turning one ponytail into two!

I mean seriously.

* For some reason the Lab is called the Studio now. Man, why does every MR game have to be translated with no consistancy? XD It was weird enough going from MR2 to MR1 and seeing how training = drills and errantry = training, and then in MR DS errantry is different again... But seriously, why ‘Studio’? Its still just a pixelated render of the same lab lookin place fulla freezey test tube fusion devices. Anyway, this country’s lab technician is an absoluely ADORABLE mom-looking lady!

I love her immediately! Way better than FIMBA league’s grumpy asshole cliche scienceman.

* Also the AGIMA registration secretary ALSO looks like Colt in a different costume. What.

Or if Holly and Colt did a fusion dance!

* Interestingly, it seems in this game you have alternative choices instead of your monster just dying when it gets too old, and not carrying anything over. You can register your monster as a coach to help with training new monsters, if it achieved a high enough league ranking during its lifespan. I dunno how getting a teaching degree makes you immortal, but whatever! I’m excited to see how this changes gameplay! Another useful anti-frustration feature is that you can freely re-summon a monster of any species you’ve found before. And the summoning process used to read random CDs to generate a monster, but here instead you type in passwords. I guess that’s all they could do on a GBA game, but still its not quite as cool! Its also super crappy that you start off with a limit of four characters and have to wait a while to use longer words...

* Here’s the few cute mons I found so far by typing random stuffs! I dunno who to use!

Also, yeah, the sprite work for the monsters is... not great. I REALLY dislike it! Its this bad faux 3D look where they took a bunch of screenshots of a 3D model and compressed them to all hell in this like.. slow as fuck 3 frame animation. ITS AWFUL! And SO MANY of the combinations look bad cos the recolour filter is bad, and now every single monster is a recolour instead of any unique designs or differing textures. I think they could have done a way better job representing the variety of characters in other games if they’d just made regular sprites instead of these huge fake 3d monstrosities. How much cartridge space did you waste on this?? ...anyway, I feel guilty being so critical on the game, so here look at the three monsters that didnt look awful. I really like the green golem, the odd recolouring works in its favour to look like glowy crystal! Oh, and the sun mane tiger I got from entering my best friend’s name! And the momo monsters are just really cute, and it was the closest i could get to an oc I made today, lol. THEYRE ALL TOO CUTE TO LEAVE BEHIND

* so thus this is why i spent 2 hours spamming different passwords and not actually playing the game, and now im gonna go sleep and continue tomorrow! and hopefully reach a decision then! tho im already leaning towards the golem cos ive never raised a golem before. but the momo is a species that wasnt even in MR2 so i havent raised that one either. and the tiger dog of friendship sunshine is also a good choice!! AAAA!! even when im being critical about how comparatively not-cute it is compared to other MR games, IM STILL BLOWN AWAY BY THE CUTENESS

* oh and their names are Carole, Maple and Jade and monsters dont have a gender stat in this game cos breeding is magical fusion instead, but im random headcanoning Jade as female just cos there’s never been a female golem character in the anime. I am determined to craft a bazillion personality headcanons for each and every smol monster pet, and cry like a baby when they die! HOORAY, TRAUMA!

* ...eh, maybe I’d just use the other two after the one I pick first. But really, that’d be a really bad choice cos fusing your first monster to get your next monster is how you actually pass on stats. Going back to a first generation monster and starting from scratch would screw me over! Ehh, maybe I can spam passwords forever again til I can get the exact combination of monsters necessary to fuse the same monsters again but with better stats...

[nobody-needs-to-know-that-blog]

She was the youngest of the family

here is the other story. The story of 4 and a half years. 4 and a half years that i thought i was with the man i was supposed to spend forever with. I was just out of a relationship and a new drama season was starting and so we would be together almost everyday for about 4 months. Maybe a little less. I ended up asking him out via facebook because i was too chicken to do it in person. (i have learned now but not much) 

i asked if he would date a freshman he said he would depending on who. i was being stupid and asking for myself but i was like one of the people who was at set construction. For some reason instead of waiting a week i just asked before he went to FFA states. He said yes...  We werent really dating at that point... it wouldnt be for another year and a half before anything really happened between us. We were dating. He would always say these really cute things to me that would make me smile... Now they just make me cringe every time i see them or read them.. maybe even glance over them. (there is a reason i have a new device... so i dont have to go through my fucking screenshots on my ipod...) there are so many... oh so many... even on my phone i had so many conversations saved and for some reason i couldnt bear to look at them.

When a break up happens you like to think that you would look back and remember the good times.. But you wont. Even if you have a million and two pictures of the “good” times it wont be good... who knows... maybe you do think of the good times. 

so that is just freshman year of highschool... We kissed about 13 days after we first started dating. he told me that i had soft lips... im not sure how he could tell or why.. The story of our first kiss is funny... I was sitting on the back of my directors tailgate and he was messing with it and one of our friends was like dont kiss in front of me and like ran off... and then he kissed me... (in retrospect i think my eyes were open..) 

then shortly after that i had my first meltdown... i was on stage for our spring show, literally lying on the couch debating if i really wanted to be with this kid... i didnt... but i didnt think that anybody else would want me..

i stayed with him. 

then the summer came and i didnt really see him that much.. i didnt really want to hang out with him because i didnt want to be forced to do couple-y things... i was only 14 when i started dating this kid... i thought it would be a good idea... (oh how wrong i was...) He could not make out to save his life... it was gross and disgusting and i just didnt want to do it... 

so we didnt make out any more... until the rapture (12/21/12) that was a thing... we ended up making out in his truck before school started.... it was weird... better but weird.... 

so many things happen and when you look back on them you realize that all the warning signs were there.... 

the constant meltdowns, the pressure to please... all of that... He was on a high horse and for some unknown reason i wanted to keep him up there. His family still has him up there... he may be a little lower now that im not there because they all loved me and really didnt want us to break up... ( but apparently me “making out” with another human would be fine for me to stay with him because im the definition of a perfect child?? wtf idk)

I was constantly using my parents to not hang out with him. There was a little time frame where i was fine with hanging out with him.. but it wasnt often...

My junior year in highschool went just fine.. no really freak outs, except for the last day of spring play... i was balling my eyes out and i was sick and it was just terrible... I didnt want him to leave and i didnt want to not be at the lock in and yeah it was just a mess.

My senior year was a different story, i was stressed, he was stressed with honors advanced calc 2. I was president of NHS i didnt actually do much... Not like what i do now... The responsibilities of  high school to the responsibilities of college are so different..

Senior year was a roller coaster of emotions... I was in my first show in 2 years. It ended up being shown for two weekends instead of one. I went hunting on the day of the last show. This kid ended up shooting two deer. We went to the play it went off with out a hitch ( well minus the lights being fucked up THIS IS AN OUTRAGE... is one of my lines and i was actually hella pissed...) Well driving home after hanging out with him for a little bit, it was snowing... i wasnt used to the snow... I was heading north, i ended up doing a 180 and landing driver side down heading south but on the same side of the road that i was on to begin with... I was panicking... i called the boyf and he helped calm me down and then i ended up calling the parents because there was no way i would be able to get the car out of the ditch. Seeing the damage on the car, its a miracle that nothing worse happened to me. As hard as I hit when it fell, none of the airbags went off which is great, because that would have sucked and i would have had much worse injuries than just a cut on my knuckle...  ( i mean i may have some issues with my shoulders but idk)

that was at like 2 or 3 in the morning... i ended up going home and sleeping it off... i didnt go to church though and all of my friends were freaking out about me... it was adorable... I was fine... I mean i was still shaking and i was confused as to why i was shaking but it was fine. I was fine.  I joked constantly and i still kinda do... Dude gets two deer and i get a car accident... Parents were looking to get a new car anyways but i just happened to push it forward a little bit...  I had team sports the next morning and i was like im fine i can still play... ( no i couldnt i was in so much pain when i was playing lacrosse.... it was bad...) The next day i ended up giving a note to the teacher explaining as to what happened and she was like WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME???? lol it was funny, i thought i would be fine but i was sore, the adrenaline wore the shit out of me... 

The rest of the senior year went off with out a hitch ( minus the director saying that she wanted me in another play and then that not happening and me crying.... and yeah it was great... i love working the booth i love being in my home... Its been years since i have been back to the booth...) 

Summer after senior year went off with out a hitch, nothing big happened, but then i started school. My freshman year in college was his sophomore...  i spent the night in his dorm a couple times and he spent the night in mine a couple.  November came around i thought i was ready for the “D” i wasnt... i wouldnt realize that i wasnt ready until January...We had only had sex a couple times by that point... His uncle had died unexpectedly and i came home for the funeral... I am not selfish. I am very selfless... The night before the funeral i thought that giving him what he wanted would help him cope... It may have to this day i still dont know... and i would rather not know.. what i do know is that i was trying my fucking hardest not to fucking cry. Now a little backstory, sex has always hurt for me... im just now learning that it shouldnt hurt no matter what... that it only hurts if you werent properly turned on... 

That was January, we would hang out a couple more times before may but not much... I was busy with rushing the sorority and being active on campus... Then comes may. 

I finally got a job!! so did he. We were both super busy and making money... which was good. however that means that we had less time for each other in the upcoming months...

Now rolls around august. His annual family reunion, i always loved going to it and this was the 2nd or 3rd time going to it. I had warned him before that nothing was going to happen... he thought that i had just meant that we werent going to have sex... nope i had meant that absolutely nothing was going to happen between us. He was super frustrated with that and not happy with me in the least bit  

That was August. September rolls around, My first active semester of the sorority. First semester where boys are not allowed to spend the night in the dorm room ( not that that had stopped two of us but that comes much much later). I spent the night in the “tuba” house a couple times.. not often but a couple. September was super busy for me and he didnt like that i had a life outside of him. I wasnt dedicating all my time to pleasing him. I was learning to be myself... I just ended up hurting two people in that process.... And the rest is in the other story...

Who lives, who dies, who tells your story?

[growthvue]

Minecraft in the Classroom

Jeff Gearhart on episode 162 of the 10-Minute Teacher Podcast

From the Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis

Follow @coolcatteacher on Twitter

Are you studying Mars? Why not let students go live there? Jeff Gearhart is working with teachers in traditional subjects to let students immerse in the subject in Minecraft. In today’s show, learn about Minecraft EDU and how it is being used to teach. Join a delightful, fun world of immersive teaching.

Book Creator for Chrome. Previously on the 10-Minute Teacher, guests have mentioned Book Creator as one of their top apps for the iPad. Well, now we can all use Book Creator in our classrooms using the Chrome web browser. Make books, send the link to parents and even include audio and video.

This is a perfect idea for special ed teachers and parents who want to use today’s show and make books Book Creator will let you record audio and video AND share the link with parents.

As a teacher, you can get started with a library of 40 books as part of their free version – go to http://ift.tt/2y2OTLZ to get started now. This is great news! Now we can all use Book Creator in our classrooms, on any device, using the Chrome web browser.

Listen Now

Listen to the show on iTunes or Stitcher

Stream by clicking here.

Below is an enhanced transcript, modified for your reading pleasure. All comments in the shaded green box are my own. For guests and hyperlinks to resources, scroll down.

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Enhanced Transcript

Minecraft in the Classroom

Shownotes: http://ift.tt/2wuu0cp Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Vicki: Happy Ed Tech Tool Tuesday! Minecraft in the classroom. Jeff Gearhart @Techjeff09 did it all last year, and he’s going to tell us all about it. He was actually recently featured on the Microsoft blog about what he’s doing.

How Jeff is using Minecraft to get kids excited

So, Jeff, describe for us… How are you using Minecraft in your classroom, and what kind of things are you teaching?

Jeff: Ah, yeah… So I’m using Minecraft Education Edition in my technology classroom with my students. I’m at Brinnon School District in Brinnon, Washington. We’re a very small rural K-8 school.

One thing that I wanted to do with Minecraft Education Edition was bring something to the students that 1) they probably had never done before, and 2) give them opportunities for things that they wouldn’t be able to experience if it wasn’t for being in a technology class.

So with Minecraft Education Edition, that’s what I was able to accomplish. I was able to give these kids something to get excited about. We know kids these days. It’s all about technology. It’s all about gaming. When I brought up the subject of Minecraft, every eye went wide open, and the excitement was there.

What I was able to do with Minecraft Education Edition was I was able to engage students for an entire class period to the point where they didn’t want to stop because they loved doing it so much. That’s what Minecraft Education Edition does. It’s able to engage those students otherwise, where they wouldn’t do it if they’re just in a normal classroom doing pen and paper type stuff.

The great thing about that was that I was able to incorporate all different types of subject matter – whether it was art or science or history. I was able to bring that into Minecraft, and it allowed them to work on a lesson and collaborate together at the same time in one world of Minecraft. In a normal classroom setting, they probably wouldn’t do that.

Our students are very diverse, so we only have a total of three classrooms, and they’re all mixed with three grades each. So there are different learning levels and different learning environments for all these students. But the one thing Minecraft is able to do, regardless of that learning level, is it’s able to bring them all together to work collaboratively and be engaged at the same time and work together at the same time.

Vicki: Love it. Now, I’m totally onboard. My students have used Minecraft. We’ve participated in Givercraft.

(Editor’s Note: the Givercraft site isn’t there but my blog post has screenshots and explanations of this fantastic project.)

We did Gamifi-ED. So I totally get how you can teach with Minecraft. But let’s go into a lesson.

You know, lots of teachers listen, and they will say, “Sure, they want to play Minecraft a whole period. Of course they do.”

Example Lesson: Using Minecraft to Teach Science

But how would you teach a science lesson? Give us an example.

Jeff: So one of the things I did with science this year was I worked very closely with the other teachers and what they were doing in their normal classroom versus technology.

So let’s take the middle school class, sixth through eighth grade. They started working on a Mars project, reading about Mars and exploring Mars, and doing all this. A part of the Minecraft Education Edition and the entire Minecraft world, there are several Minecraft mentors – global mentors, which I am one of – and there’s just a huge plethora of resources out there that are available for other people who want to share their information or their worlds.

This full lesson and assets are available on the Minecraft EDU site

So I was actually able to find a Mars simulated world on the Minecraft website which is available for everybody to go to. So I just took that world and I worked with the teachers as to what they were doing in their normal classroom. I paired each student up with another student. They were in this world together, and they basically – it was a simulated world – had to learn to work together on how to survive Mars.

They were given a basic structure of being able to live with some food and resources and stuff. But then they had to work together and figure out how they were going to grow on that or improve their world or their habitat, and how they would be able to go out and “mine” or look for other resources that would help them along their way while they’re in this simulated Mars world.

It just worked fabulously because it coincided with what they were doing in their normal class and with their teacher, talking about Mars. I was able to modify the world and make those changes that they were working on, so that at the same time they were getting that same information together, only in a different environment. It was normal classroom versus gaming with Minecraft.

Teacher as the Game Master

Vicki: You know, one of the most fun things about this approach is that the teacher is a game master. I remember when I first took my kids into Minecraft, they just kind of wanted to play and be silly.

I literally levitated myself and then turned on monsters and made it go night – so that they would have to craft. I said, “OK, guys, you’ve got five minutes to craft something so that you can defend yourself.”

For people who don’t understand Minecraft, you’ll say that’s crazy. But we as the teachers do have an ability to kind of add a gaming element. So how do you play game master in this type of environment?

Jeff: I give them specific tasks or challenges that they have to do. Like I said, with the world they were given basic resources. But I told them, “OK, this is what you have to do. You have to add on another wing to your environment for farming, or for crafting resources, or for living quarters if you have more people coming into your simulated Mars colony.”

They would have to go out – and because the entrance to the outside world from their habitat was just a one-way door, one of them would have to then have to go out and work, while the other one stayed in so that they could get back into their habitat. And then vice-versa.

One would go out during the daytime and do stuff while one stayed and did work within their habitat. Then when it became night, one would go out and venture a little bit and look for those resources while the other one swapped roles with them and did stuff inside.

They were just able to go out and collect those resources that they need to add on a wing for additional housing or additional farming or additional crafting type resources – stuff like that. They had a specific task they were given and a certain amount of time frame. They were able to go out and do that.

A Key Tip: The Non-Playable Character and Linkable Information Inside Minecraft

Vicki: So Jeff, how did the teacher that you worked with in this particular example feel about what these kids understood about Mars?

Jeff: She loved it.

That’s the great thing about Minecraft Education Edition. There are specific elements that you can add into the game – that you can’t do with the normal console version. One of those is called and NPC, or a Non-Playable Character. Basically, you just put this character in there, and you can put information about something with the hyperlinks.

So if they were talking about airlocks or something, there would be an NPC that would talk about airlocks, and then there would be a URL that they would click on that would take them outside of the Minecraft environment to a specific website or video. That would explain what that is.

So for this instance, and airlock would take them to NASA’s website, and it would talk about airlocks and how they work. So they were able to understand that at the same time. Bringing in what the teacher was doing just reinforced what the teacher was talking about, in how you would live and colonize on Mars. I was able to incorporate that right in the world, and give them those outside resources even though they’re still in the game.

30-second Pep Talk to Get Started in Minecraft EDU

Vicki: OK Jeff. We have 30 seconds to give information to teachers who want to get started using Minecraft Education Edition in their classroom. Go.

Jeff: Go to education.minecraft.net There’s a plethora of information. It has resources. It has worlds. You can connect with Minecraft global mentors all across the world, myself included. There’s tons of information on there, and if you want to know anything about it, please feel free to reach out to me on social media, through Twitter or my e-mail address. Or you can get me on the Minecraft Education website.

Vicki: So many things are happening in Minecraft Education. It is a powerful tool. It has been around for a while. There are a lot of those practices about how to really engage kids.

There’s another show that I’ll link to that actually shows that kids who are using Minecraft can improve in their social-emotional learning.

Dr. Michelle Zimmerman – Edtech and Social Emotional Learning – talks about this research.

So this is serious games. These are serious ways to teach and really make for remarkable experiences. So if you’re looking for something to really hook those kids in, think about Minecraft.

Also see: Why Minecraft in Schools in the Modern Marvel: 5 Epic Ideas (Lucas Gillispie)

3 Ways Monsters and Minecraft Can Drive Exceptional Learning (Joel Levin)

Transcribed by Kymberli Mulford

Bio as submitted – Jeff Gearhart

I am the Technology Coordinator for Brinnon School District in Brinnon, WA. I am a self-proclaimed “tech nerd” and love to have my hands on all the latest and greatest products and software.

I love the camaraderie among other educators. Being able to network with so many other educators through social media has been an amazing experience. I love to share what I have learned with my fellow educators. I love being able to teach other educators about my passion of technology. When I am not working I love spending my time with my wife and four kids. I am an avid sports fan (Go Hawks!) and technology guru (obviously)!

Blog: http://ift.tt/2wv6lJ2

Twitter: @Techjeff09

      Disclosure of Material Connection: This is a “sponsored podcast episode.” The company who sponsored it compensated me via cash payment, gift, or something else of value to include a reference to their product. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I believe will be good for my readers and are from companies I can recommend. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.) This company has no impact on the editorial content of the show.

The post Minecraft in the Classroom appeared first on Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis @coolcatteacher helping educators be excellent every day. Meow!

Minecraft in the Classroom published first on http://ift.tt/2xx6Oyq

[viralhottopics]

Snapchat rising: is Facebook-sized success the future for this youthful app?

The ephemeral app is set to go public, could be worth $25bn, and is seen as the only serious challenger to Facebooks audience. But can the ascent continue?

What is the value of Snapchat? The notoriously secretive parent company of the ephemeral messaging app is about to find out. Snap Inc has this week released paperwork designed to drum up interest in its initial public offering, scheduled for March, which some analysts say could value the company at between $20bn and $25bn making it one of the biggest technology offerings in recent years.

Snapchat was created in September 2011 as a selfie app that let users share pictures that deleted themselves once theyd been viewed. It quickly developed a reputation as a sexting app, although this wasnt representative of how the app was actually being used.

A lot of people misunderstood what it was about early on, thinking it was for sending naughty pics. But the value is that when you know stuff you share is not going to be part of a permanent online record, you can be a lot more casual, raw and honest, said Jan Dawson, founder of Jackdaw Research.

It doesnt have to be that perfectly framed selfie or the picture of your lunch that looks amazing. It can be the a picture of the new zit that popped out or the fact that you put on odd socks because it was dark.

The rawness was an appealing antidote to the highly curated environments of Facebook and Instagram.

I like Snapchat because its more chill [than Facebook], its not forever, said 14-year-old Lila, an active Snapchat user. You can post funny videos and stuff and I like that you can talk to people without having a conversation, you can just send them a picture.

Snapchat has since evolved its product offering, adding even more creative tools to enhance the camera and chat functionality, allowing 2.5bn Snaps to be created each day. Its also launched Snapchat Stories, where users collect Snaps together in chronological order. This allows individuals, brands and media companies to tell their stories to larger audiences, and its the key area for selling advertising.

The Stories section has allowed for social media stars to emerge on the platform, such as 27-year-old Cyrene Quiamco (username CyreneQ), who has more than 100,000 followers. Advertisers pay her between $10,000 and $30,000 to tell stories about their brands through a series of short videos.

Quiamco typically creates games and challenges, encouraging her followers to interact with and respond to her content.

My content is fun and lighthearted. I do a lot of games. So I ask people to take a screenshot of my videos, then ask them to draw on it or create stickers. Its fun, lighthearted and interactive, she said.

For example, she worked with Walmart to promote Black Friday by asking her followers to pick a present for her mother, whose birthday coincides with the annual shopping extravaganza. Her followers sent her their ideas, which she re-posted to her story channel, before she picked her favourite and gave the present to her mother.

She does around four such commercial deals each month, as well as speaking gigs and consulting that nets her around $500,000 per year.

I still cant believe all of this is happening, she said.

Despite it looking a bit like a media or messaging company, Snap describes itself as a camera company, something it reiterated in the IPO filing today.

In the way that the flashing cursor became the starting point for most products on desktop computers, we believe that the camera screen will be the starting point for most products on smartphones. This is because images created by smartphone cameras contain more context and richer information than other forms of input like text entered on a keyboard.

Snapchat CEO and co-founder Evan Spiegel says the company cares about not being creepy when it comes to advertising to its users. Photograph: Jae C. Hong/AP

Its impossible to talk about Snapchat without also talking about Facebook. Facebook tried to buy the messaging service for $3bn in 2013, but Snapchat turned the offer down.

Snapchat has been the only serious challenger that has threatened to take audiences away from Facebook, said Dawson.

Facebooks response was to build a clone called Slingshot, which didnt take off. The social networking giant has since been relentlessly and shamelessly experimenting with incorporating many of Snapchats popular features, such as ephemeral messages, photo-editing tools, face-altering filters and scannable personal barcodes. The scattergun approach appears to have finally taken off: with reports suggesting that the Facebook-owned Instagrams cloning of Snapchat Stories may have led to Snapchats user growth stalling.

Facebook has started to take a very experimental and incremental approach to try to counter Snapchat. Instagram Stories has been massively successful, said Dawson. Its sucked some of the air out of Snapchats sales over the last few months.

Even if Snapchat continues to grow, its got a long way to go before it would be anything other than a small thorn in the side of Facebook, which has 1.86bn monthly users and made $27.6bn in revenue in 2016. By comparison, Snapchat has more than 150m daily active users, generating more than $400m in revenue, and has yet to become profitable.

Snapchat is challenging Facebook and Instagram in terms of features, but certainly not in revenue, said Deborah Aho Williamson, principal analyst at eMarketer.

In order to thrive, Snapchat, whose users are mostly between 18 and35, will need to appeal to a broader user base (read: older) and address some core concerns within the product, such as building better measurement tools for advertisers.

They have an audience that is very attractive to advertisers, but lack any ability to measure how many people are seeing ads and whether their perceptions of the brand has changed. That needs to happen if Snapchat wants to win any mainstream advertising budget said Dawson.

However, the more data Snapchat tries to generate for advertisers, the more it will have to compromise user privacy.

Back in 2015, CEO Evan Spiegel said: I got an ad this morning for something I was thinking about buying yesterday, and its really annoying. We care about not being creepy. Thats something thats really important to us.

In the future, being creepy will have to be less of a concern if Snapchat is to please investors.

The company will also need to diversity its offering given Facebook and Google continue to dominate the ad market.

Snapchat has dipped its toes in the water with hardware through the creation of Spectacles, smart glasses that record and upload 10-second videos.

The staggered launch of the product through colourful vending machines dotted around the US, was a PR masterclass, with lines of Snapchatters waiting hours to buy a pair, and some reselling on eBay for thousands of dollars.

I tried to get Spectacles three times in LA, but then I happened to be in Vegas and was able to get them, said Goldstein. You can definitely tell its a first generation technology, but its a great storytelling tool.

Although Spectacles havent been a big money maker for Snap, they could signal a move into the much-hyped realm of augmented reality wearables, where it could insert digital content over images of the physical world as they are captured by smart glasses.

Snapchat has revolutionized communication for young people and Spectacles show its thinking creatively about new ways to communicate, said Williamson.

Whether that translates into Facebook-sized success remains to be seen.

Read more: http://bit.ly/2kptebz

from Snapchat rising: is Facebook-sized success the future for this youthful app?