#like i didnt agree with their opinion abt something but now i realize i was wrong HAHA i wish i could apologize

[swing-crow]

Another ask abt Bonnie's Bakery bc yes

What's your opinions about "That person" or "The Protagonist" because I don't see very much thing about her, so I wanted to ask this xd

{Çok boş yaptım biliyorum-}

OH HO HO I do have some guesses about her:

My biggest headcanon about her (and I fund other ppl agree on this too) is that she is the secret wife of Bear. The wife not wanting to show her face to anyone, having a rocky relationship with bear and being alert seems like some clues on that.

If this theory is true than it makes sense:

She was already alert about the Woodstown's status. Bear wanted to get pastries to help his wife, ended up bonding a friendship with Bonnie. Bear probably told about Bonnie to her and while looking at the pastries he bought she realized something is off. Than the stalking/collecting evidence part starts.

Another think about the Protag is that "why she also sees ppl as animals?"

Well it can really be two things:

1 - For some reason she has the same situation going on as Bonnie, causing her to see ppl as animals. Someone suggest she might be an ex-cult member or something for example.

2 - Or MCS didnt plan the story to be this big when they made the jam game, so "animals are humans" wasnt a thing at the time. Of course they probably easily found a way to fill in this plot hole.

In Bonnir QA she also writes a note saying "she took everything from me". She cant just mean the Bear right *eyebrow rise* hmm hmm

At last, I think now everyone agrees that the Protag and the Pyun Pyun owner are not the same gal.

had to draw with mouse sorry lol

[raspbeyes]

A bit more of a revised opinion on David lol

I did my intial thoughts post a while back but kinda realized that my initial impression was so different than how i see david now.

i pretty sure this has already been said, but yeah David's reveal is not really a reveal of true character but rather feels more like a breakdown in who he is

Now yeah, he definetely has got a flair for the dramatics but honestly, i think it makes sense why david would want to play up his cynical viewpoint to a cartoonish level like we see. But for all of his life, he's been playing a role that it seems he does not believe he actually deserves (as his hidden quote may allude to deep self hatred), so for once, david is truly acting out how he believes he really is

essentially, the reveal was not him being a liar, it was a reveal of how he believes himself to be a liar.

Not to mention ... and maybe this is that same denial i was saying before ep 11 that maybe david has the hopeless child secret but ... his motivation just doesn't add up to me.

His "mask" initially slipped in the prologue where he spoke about wanting to be in bed and not deal with people or wanting to come to hope's peak. Idk about u but that just feels like just being an introvert. Maybe a bit of a bitchy introvert lol but nothing that is a manipulative liar who wants to watch everyone kill each other for ... uhh ... shits and giggles???? I truly feel he is acting the part that his secret is.

So what exactly is his secret referring to as manipulative?? I think i agree with hu when i said its phrasing (For example, arturo does not seem as heartless as his secret ambiguously makes it seem, clearly very affected rather than how the secret implies callousness). I think the secret is really just referring to what his talent is. It is what we all guessed initially: He manipulates people, aka "inspires" them. He may just have the ability to manipulate using his words, but he has so far put that to good use.

But i think david never sees it that way. I recall seeing a few posts commenting how david must feel guilt/grief over the death of xander and arei, since he had gotten close to the both of them before their death. And i think that guilt is being amplified with arei's death:

A lot of people point to David's slip in ep 10 as either a sign of him being a good person or a bad person, as his way of talking can be interpreted as either.

(To recap, those who claim this proves this shows his truly good nature point out that he is truly upset abt the death of arei and he is showing his true distaste for the killer, something he wouldn't have said if he had wanted arei to die and didnt care for her like he said in ep 11. However others can mention how david speaks abt how she was in such a vulnerable state to be killed and his creepy smiling sprite sure doesnt help)

Personally i am leaning on the redeeming side, as i think david feels that arei's death proves why he's such a manipulator. We now know of the conversation (or really only a part of it judging by how arei is never answered) was likely when David first learned of his secret about him being a manipulator. David is completely silent, shuddering and unresponsive. I think that he may have at first viewed Arei as his usual routine of lifting someone up, but when we see arei actually hug him, he is caught off guard. And once he hears arei herself saying she really wanted to change for the better, david may have felt he did one good thing. Only then, arei reveals her knowledge of his secret and David is at a loss. Now, the one person who could have been helped by him now realizes his words are as hollow as he believes. So when arei begs david to respond, he cant seem to muster any words.

So when we see how he talks in ch 10, it is his own guilt and anger at himself combined with his grief to arei's death all muddied together. He had been able to help someone, but its because arei had put herself out there - a positive change he triggered - and got herself killed, david blames himself. After all, he can use people however he wants. So if they become worse off, he believes he is the reason behind it.

personally i want a more redeemable version of david since i just dont believe his supposed motivations. they just dont add up!!! moreover, with it being obvious he is not the killer, david has to now live with a supposed chapter 3 with everyone well aware of his "real" personality, so i wonder how david would feel about now actually being treated like a villain rather than a good person like he has for most his life. It might force him to realize that he might actually not be as bad as he thought he was, so maybe he'll slowly try to work up good faith with the group??? I think David has been trapped between two extremes: His morally good outward persona, and his self hatred making him believe he is irredeamable. So maybe david's development is him learning to gain a more nuanced look at himself :)

Or maybe he'll just die in chapter 3 lol and have an unresolved arc :'))

[auspex]

for markyboy! essentials 8 & 9, death 5

oh awesome i didnt even expect this 2 b an sak game but im always here 2 talk abt my Bo7

8. Who are their Touchstones, if any?

We have Dr. Armatto, who was his faculty advisor while Mark was getting his PhD. So he was a big inspiration to him, helped him out a lot - cemented a love of learning, and a love for humanities history w/the idea that humanity is always growing and advancing. They are still in irregular contact. In a year or two I expect Dr. Armatto to question Mark on why he hasn't been publishing papers lately :/ Like Dr. Vela My Friend I Thought You Wanted Tenure, Let Me Help You???

Then we have Kenny, who was his ex from high school. He meant a lot to Mark cause he helped him realize his sexuality and they went through a lot of shit together in high school. They lost contact after he graduated and moved but Kenny of course just back to Detroit and Mark finally agreed to meet with him after months...Kenny is a very openly gay man despite it being 2000s Detroit, very flamboyant, very confident n cool. but yeah Mark is a dangerous person 2 be friends w so he should leave him alone. Finally there is. Sampson <3 whom i love. Sampson and Mark were dating just before he was turned, and theres a lot of shit with them that many of my followers have heard many times but in short he is now Mark's ghoul and ex and things are. difficult betwixt them

9. What are their Convictions (moral opinions and standings they hold fast to)?

So these were poorly worked out cause mark is my first VTM OC and my storyteller was lenient but in approximate order of touchstones above: Knowledge should not be destroyed and should be shared/a general love of humanity and its progress Something about innocence and young love (the worst worked out one aslkdjfds) and finally that People can be loved in spite of flaws

In the game these haven't come up mechanically but are definitely themes. Dr. Armatto's is actually one of the more interesting ones and is a very. opposed viewpoint within kindred society, who look down upon humanity, but idk how it will come up. Mark has already commented that kine are juts as intelligent as kindred to one vampire and got a raised eyebrow look lkasdfjds

5. Which of their Clan’s stereotypes apply to them? Which do they act against, or embody the opposite of?

Tremere are fucking nerds - check

Tremere have a lot of secrets - check

Tremere are kind of assholes - check

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh so he embodies that stuff lmao

Tremere are Cool - FAILED Mark is not cool.

Tremere are unforgiving - FAILED Mark does indeed believe in forgiveness <3 So he acts against that for sure. He also is going to act somewhat against the authoritarianism by helping the poor gargoyles <3 good luck Mark

idk if there are more clan sterotypes i missed 4 tremere dslkjfsdfj lmk if so

thank u this was fun af!

[simreaper]

new follower here! i was wondering how you take/edit your screenshots in the sims? they always look so nice and i was wondering if anything special went into making them look so good!

thank u!! i stress over my photos a lot sometimes so i'm glad u like them :D i edit differently every time, i don't really use a specific psd unless i'm doing like a legacy and want it to match (but i haven't done that in a while so i don't have any examples.) i play the game on ultra so that helps a lot. i use this lighting mod in CAS, and this mod plus this mod in game. when i'm in photoshop, i sharpen it until it looks good and then do whatever editing i want. if there's a specific picture u had in mind i could roughly show u what i did to it! i don't use reshade or anything because i'm too stoopid to figure it out. i WOULD like to redownload topaz if anyone...knwos...where to find that because i've sorta looked around and haven't been able to

[matoitech]

ive said this b4 i think but i do not agree w ppl when they say galo at first being rude about the burnish to lio in the cave after he defended the burnish at the pizzera served no purpose and was an ooc moment for galo. i was actually rly shocked that that was a take bcuz i always read that as like, galos a good person but good people are capable of being ignorant n believing bad things abt marginalized ppl without realizing they believe it n how damaging it is, so when galos a dick here lio calls him out for it and galo apologizes n proves hes learned n done better later in the movie. galo believing hes a progressive person is in my opinion a part of the movie that kind of requires keeping in mind when watching and its also why acting like galos too stupid for politics is rly dumb n insulting not only towards his narrative but also towards the narrative of the movie. as the movie starts out lio telling him youre NOT better than other ppl in promepolis u believe some of the same shit too is not like an assault on galos character, its just stating a fact bcuz galo is ignorant n doesnt know a lot of whats going on towards the burnish n the propaganda hes grown up with and hes not burnish so he doesnt get it how lio does, and him like recognizing accepting and working with that and with the burnish towards helping them is something thats important to his early n continued growth as a character. like its how he responds thats important. thats why they showed that bcuz Character Growth

but this moment in the cave w galo saying like ‘i didnt know the burnish even ate food’ snarky is not supposed to be like representative of galo hating the burnish or something ur not supposed to take galo being a jackass to lio once like that, galos a good person who wants to help people but hes ignorant in some ways and can hurt ppl thru his ignorance n him being made aware of that n apologizing for that 2 lio (and showing he clearly learned better every time he says things like ‘human powered’ instead of ‘burnish powered’) n him n lio working together n trying their best to understand each other despite their differences is the point its not like ur supposed to look at that and say wow galos such a jerk who is incapable of growth! when he apologizes immediately after and proves hes learned better. n once lio sees galos genuine he accepts that

also ppl have to remember the burnish arent a real oppressed group, if they were a metaphor for an actual irl oppressed group then i would get ppl looking at galo saying smth dickish as it being ooc or it even being smth ppl didnt like him for, but the burnish are a fictional oppressed group of people so i dont think you should be like.. having a reaction to galo being kind of a dick about the burnish Once the same way a character committing a microaggression against an actual oppressed irl group would be. thats probably WHY they were comfortable showing galo doing that and then apologizing for it, bcuz the burnish arent a real oppressed group and it wouldnt reflect badly on galos character it would just be obvious tis for character growth and the narrative. bcuz ur supposed to like galo and know hes a good person who just wants to help even if he fucks up sometimes, and if he was like mildly bigoted abt irl oppressed ppl or something even 2 show character growth people wouldnt like him as much obviously 

oh and also galo DID get knocked out and was tied up in a cave w lio who he’d only ever heard was a terrorist so we cant ignore the context of who galo thought he was talking to. knowing what we know abt the burnish Now it was obviously rude of him to say and thats why he apologized but like. context.

[reineyday]

some feelings abt touya and bnha 302 in general! (long post)

jesus this whooooole chapter makes me so so so sad for touya, like he's canonically a crier and i just have all these images now of him crying off to the side while enji looks at his other kids and gives them the time of day. knowing that he was/is a frustrated crier makes the fact that dabi cant cry cuz of his burned tear ducts that much sadder ohhman

one of the things i cant get over is how touya was SO shunned by his dad that when he went to go tell enji about his fire turning from red to blue, he says "i might be as awesome as shouto sooner or later!" like?? this boy is 13 and shouto is 5 yet he's talking like the brother that's eight years younger than him is better than him and thar it's just a fact. the sky is blue, enji wants to beat all might one day, and shouto is better than the rest of his siblings. nevermind that he's only five and just wants to play with his siblings (and dont even mention to me how shouto says he wants to play with "touya and them" cuz im gonna fucking cry abt it. like even though touya's accepted he's bottom of the ladder in this family, shouto clearly wants some sort of acknowledgement from his older siblings and especially his older brother. IM FVCKN SOBBN). enji has made it clear in this family that shouto was what he was looking for and everyone else is not as important, and i knew this from shouto's pov but it's kinda wild to see it implied so casually in touya's words.

"you'll be glad you created me! i just know it!" HOLY SHIT. god my heart. oh my fuck. literally all enji had to do was show up to the fucking mountain, and he couldnt even do that? what the hell?? your son asks you to go to the mountain, you tell your wife not to let him go traim but she said she couldnt stop him, and instead of going yourself to make sure he's okay and BECAUSE HE ASKED YOU TO COME (and with an actually valid reason, no less! fire changing colour is kind of a big fucking deal!!!) you just?? let him go and let him stay there??? my god the amount of times touya must have burned himself and the trees with tears in his eyes. ahhhHHH!!!

what kills me (and touya too soon?) was that we thought before the back story started that enji forced touya to train till he burned up. then when 290 came out--and definitely after 301--we thought maybe touya overtrained himself and burned up. and sure, he was definitely overtraining, but to find out that the burns that "killed" him started just bc he was crying so much he lost control and didnt know how to ease up on his flames? he was upset and literally trying to get himself to stop crying, and then he just set himself aflame and burned up cuz of all his emotions??? that HURTS. holy fuck.

i cant believe natsuo's feeling lowkey guilty for not socking enji in the face like he wasnt EIGHT???? and let's be real, enji woukdnt have fucking listened to natsuo telling him to talk to touya--he already wasnt listening when touya would straight up say "look at me" and when even rei said touya just wanted enji to look at him and notice him. listen, i know sometimes miscommunications happen in families and children are embarrassed to admit they want attention and so their parents remain unaware that theyre not giving their kid something they want, but touya was as clear as can be on MANY occasions, and even rei agreed touya needed the attention and enji just wasnt listening.

also i know there was discourse abt touya being sexist by telling natsu that "the women in this house are good for nothing" and mb it was partly diff translations cuz i feel like saying "this house" makes it specific to rei and yumi instead of all women everywhere, but even disregarding that--i think it's a valid thought for him to have when rei wasnt standing up for him (where he could see, at least) and yumi admitted herself that she was too scared to interfere and so just tried to fix things and keep appearances. i feel like based on what touya's seen from them, it makes sense that he has that opinion. (also gonna mention that i think rei's and yumi's choices also make sense and i think they were valid, seeing as how they were afraid as well.)

and poor natsu being woken up in the middle of the night (what was implied to be often enough, esp cuz it seemed they share a room and their futons are close) bc of touya's pain. that's a lot of emotional responsibility for an eight year old, and it is also so sad that at 13, touya didnt have anyone else to turn to but his kid brother. at 13, i remember being fully aware of the distinction in maturity between an 8 year old and myself, and it sucks that touya couldnt go to anyone but a younger child with all his pain. i bet yumi being too scared to interfere translated to touya as "she wouldnt help me" and thats another reason he didnt go to the 2nd oldest when he needed to vent. (also not related to this but how the FUCK was natsuo so tall at 8 years old? wh a t)

this chapter. this fucking chapter. my heart aches for touya, and it's just such a huge fucking shame he didnt get the attention and validation and support he needed. there must have been workarounds so that touya could safely use his quirk. there weere DEFINITELY better ways to support your son through a self-destructive quirk, ways that involved actually being there and seeing him. i feel like if someone showed him the attention he needed and talked him through how to better control his emotions (and by extension, his flames) and a positive and healthy way, he could have been someone so great. and if he ever learned how to set aside the way he felt infefior to shouto and saw that shouto just wanted to play with his cool older siblings, it might have been really beneficial to see that there was someone there who thinks he's cool and gave him attention just bc he was an older brother, who needed him when everyone else in the househild didnt seem to need him.

and lastly, the fact that the chapter ends with rei saying that shouto is the family hero and that shouto will have to face dabi?? and it makes me angry that shouto has to take on that responsibility. that he was five and suffering for things he wasnt even a part of, couldnt be properly aware of, bc he was so young. he just saw that he was separated from his siblings and that his dad bullied his mom, then grew up shouldering enji's heavy goals and high expectations and abusive training alongside the barely-there memories of his older brother who died (i say barely there bc if natsu didnt even know shouto liked cold soba, shouto was definitely not around enough to have solid memories of touya before he "died"), and now he has to do the emotional labour of fighting his villain brother (who i bet shouto lowkey empathizes with when he thinks abt it late at night) as well as suffer the physical consequences of that agni kai. and it makes me angry that he has to do that, bc he's a Good Guy and he probably feels he has some sort of filial and familial responsibility. he's only 16. he just wanted to play with touya and them, and now he has to deal with this horse shit dabi's causing cuz his dad's an emotionally neglecting asshat who couldnt see past his dumb fucking ego until he saw shouto play with a bunch of kids during shou's remedial exam a decade after his eldest son burned himself to death. what the fuckety fuck.

lastly, since we saw touya burn uo the way he did... did he really just like... burn so much his jaw fell off, and that's how they found the jawbone? cuz holy hot (BURNING too soon???) damn that must have been painful as all hell. i wonder if next chapter we get to see if someone found touya at the park and helped him out and sorted out the jaw bone thing, or if we finally get to see if deku wakes up lol.

anyways this chapter hurt my heart big time, and i kinda wanna draw kid touya crying while being overlooked by his family to let out some of those feelings but we'll see.

and i still stand by my idealistic and naively optimistic hope that dabi gets redeemed and they soend some actually time together as a family (without enji. or at least, with an enji that has apologized to touya in seiza. like, forehead-to-floor apologize.)

does this hope sort out how dabi redeems himself, seeing as how he's murdered people in cold blood and shouldnt be excused for that bc those actions are also inarguably terrible? no. not sure how he could redeem himself for that kinda stuff honestly, but it doesnt mean i dont still somehow want the todoroki sibs to get along, cuz im weak for mending families.

also id like to send a huge kudos out into the world to rei todoroki for being firm for once and for also not running away from her mistakes like her asshole husband has been. i really admire and respect that. she was afraid and being abused, but now that she's been away from enji and has had time to heal, now that her and shouto are in the mend and she's seen that her eldest son is alive and a villain, she's a place where she can acknowledge that even though she was a victim too, she played a part in touya's emotional neglect and she's taking responsibility and that speaks to some incredible fucking strength. damn.

i hope one day that dabi realizes the same in regards to his mother and natsuo, who shouldered a lot of his emotional pain and suffered the consequences of his outbursts (even though his emotions are valid and his outbursts understandable, he still hurt rei and put a lot of pressure on natsu), and i also hope he sees that for all that he hates his father, his whole existence revolves around enji and it's a shitty place to be (and then he'll have ANGST abt it and that shit will be!! so good!!!)

yeah i think those were all my feelings. i had so many lol. their family situation is so difficult, i hope they all turn out okay and alive and healing.

oh i guess i also wanted to say that i kept calling enji an asshat and asshole cuz he was for sure, but i still think his redemption is valid and im glad he's taking those steps to be a better person by being a better father. i dont know if id want his family to forgive him for all that horrible shit he put them through (im personally hoping that no matter what anyone else does, natsuo will choose to to cooperate in the healing of his family as a unit but will never forgive enji) but i think it's good of people to try to be better than they were yesterday regardless of whether or not they get forgiveness. i dont personally like enji, but i dont hate that he's getting a redemption. i just hope it's a redemption that makes sense and forces him to put in the work, and isnt something like a death sacrifice for shouto or dabi. i want him to be alive and i want his redemption process to hurt like a fucking bitch while he forces himself to make better choices and be a better person, cuz redemption isnt supposed to be easy in the slightest. i GUESS all the crying he did in 302 was a good start.

anyways, if for some reason you read all the way down to the bottom--hello! and thanks for reading haha. cheers! :)))

[foryouthegays]

Forming a secret organization [Dream SMP] liveblog and summary!

Good laugh times: 7:40, 1:18:15, 1:19:25

Protect mr philza minecraft from baby zombies (he really went all out on that bit today): 20:35, 32:40 34:45, 1:16:35

Sellout pog: 30:45, 1:00:50, 1:30:55, 2:01:15

Summary:

Techno started the stream in the Nether. He quickly went back to the overworld and to his house, where he meets up with Phil and Ranboo. He mentions that the house smells like gunpowder, and Phil quickly ushers them outside and they continue their conversation.

Techno nudges Ranboo away from the conversation, and he leaves the call. Phil and Techno watch as Ranboo leaves the house, and then Techno tells Phil his news. He talks about how taking down L’Manburg wasn’t the greatest plan, especially as he’s only one person. He wants to bring other people to their anarchist ways.

Phil agrees to form a secret organization for anarchists, because they can’t fight ten to one.

Techno and Phil go to Ranboos house, asking for a feather, and Ranboo asks if he’s getting kicked out. They say no, and then Ranboo says that he has something that might get him kicked out.

He talks about how he sometimes doesn’t remember what he does, and that he was the person who blew up the community house.

Techno asks why, and Ranboo says he doesn’t know.

Phil and Techno agree that they don’t really care about the community house, and Ranboo continues, saying that he has one of the discs. Phil and Techno agree again that they don’t care about the discs at all.

Techno and Phil leave.

Techno leads Phil to a stronghold, which he calls a ‘structure,’ and they cover it with gravel to hide it. They enter the structure, and they find a library, some useless doors, and keep exploring, finding nothing. Techno is confused, thinking that there had to have been a reason for the stronghold's existence.

While looking at a connected Abandoned Mineshaft, Techno finds an enchanted golden apple.

They go into the lower parts of the stronghold, and they find a prison. Techno mentions that the bread he found earlier tasted around 2,000 years old, which gives us a rough (and joking) estimate of when the stronghold was made.

Phil finds a strange portal, and they talk about how advanced the previous civilization must had been, to be able to make unbreakable blocks. They hear a villager writing, and dig up to a strange room.

It ends up being the igluu where Orphans parents lived, and they start laughing, but then, DreamXD logs in. He breaks the portal, and then leaves. Techno begs dream to put the portal back, because it would’ve added to the lore, and that their characters didn’t know what it was, and were going to use it as a table.

Dream logs in again, and puts one (1) portal frame block down, and then leaves again. Phil tells Dream how to place the blocks incorrectly so they wouldn’t form a portal, and he logs in to place them back.

DreamXD hears Techno joking about going to the end, logs in, and then logs out when Techno says he’s joking. Then, Techno explains the difference between DreamXD and Dream, saying that DreamXD has canonical access to creative mode, and is like God, but Dream is just some homeless teletubby. DreamXD logs in, says ‘they actually are I am the protector,” and logs out.

In chat, Techno asks ‘who was that dram fanboy, how did he get whitelisted,’ and DreamXD logs in again, hits Techno with a sword a few times, and logs out.

Techno and Phil decorate the meeting room a bit, and they start talking about what the association should be called. Techno says that he wants it to be the ‘[blank] Syndicate,’ and before they can agree on anything, Ranboos nametag is spotted, and they agree to kill him if he comes into the meeting room.

Techno puts down a sign with the organization's motto, which is ‘Sic semper tyrannis,’ which means ‘thus always to tyrants.’

He starts writing in the manifesto.

“This syndicate is formed to promote anarchy and fight tyranny in all its forms.

“We shall have no Leader; no member shall be compelled to act if they do not choose to.

“No member shall reveal information about the Syndicate to outsiders.

“Technoblade shall serve as the Recruiter to induce new members into the Syndicate with Approval from a Majority of members.”

Phil and Techno leave the Stronghold, and realize that the Igluu wasn’t actually Orphans parents, but instead a different Igluu that Ranboo had been using for Cartographers. They go back to the house, planning to meet with Ranboo, but on the way, they find a strange tower made of stone. Its hollow, but theres no chests or anything inside. They continue and meet with Ranboo, who has gifts for them. Techno gets a Netherite shovel with Efficiency V, Mending, Silk Touch, and Unbreaking III.

He brings them under his house, and we find he has a ‘comfort room,’ made of netherrack, that has several mob heads on the walls, an extra set of armor, and pets sitting next to the ladder. They talk about the map on the wall, and Techno seems concerned, or a bit scared.

Techno and Phil leave the call, and talk about how extremely strange the room, and Ranboo, was. They recount their adventure, and move the villagers into a more efficient layout. Ranboo joins them after a few minutes, at 1:38:00, and they work on curing the zombie villagers and giving them jobs

Liveblog:

I love when technos computer says he isnt streaming so he just rambles about that before it says he does and then he does the starting the streammm thing. Also if u havent heard the starting the streammmm thing u r missing out it is amazin

Techno pls get a new laptop im gonna cry

HE SAID THREE HE SAID THREE if u dont know, techno says three v nicely

“I havent even shown you the secrets, how would you guys be able to snitch??” SIR????

Oh my god is he using his phone to read chat,,,,,i hate him i hate him so much u haVE 5 MIL SUBS AND CANT EVEN GET A SECOND MONITOR WHYY

Ranboo!!! Philza minecraft!!!!! Hi!!!

5:40 ‘why does it smell like gunpowder?’ Techno there is no smell in minecraft. Lore pog?

6:45 AKDFJGLSA RANBOOS FUNDY IMPRESSION IM

8:45 ‘any second now its gonna be 11 percent updated, and thats like halfway done, if you think about it’ adhd autism solidarity right there lmao

I dont think techno can physically pay attention to lore for more than a minute at a time. He just like, sees a dog and zooms in on it while someones talking and its such a mood. All techno know is get distracted, kill orphans, protect philza minecraft, and anarchy. Love him

10:45 he just got COMPLETELY distracted w his laptop im actually crying form laughter

So uh. 17 mins in. Techno (without saying anything). Kills a zombie that was trying to kill ranboo. Thats. Thats a thing he only does for people he trusts. Uhhh

Technos voice at 21:30,,,,,,hhghn why is he like this why is he randomally doing weird voices

26:35 ‘hacker voice: were in’ HGKDFJSL

Ok but techno making fun of doors is so funny tho. Also he rlly did go all out on the baby zombie bit tdoay im actually crying

Techno when phils being chased by two creepers, a few zombies, and skeletons: i do not see it

Techno when phils being chased by one (1) baby zombie: loOK OUT PHILZA MINECRAFT

42:00 god apple poggggg

45:50 techno sir why do u know what 2,000 year old bread tastes like

Dsmp techno :handshake: minecraft story mode techno

Hating doors

Dsmp techno :handshake: smp earth techno

Living right above a stronghold

48:35 ‘dude, they had all this super advanced technology because they didnt waste time trying to figure out how to make doors’ FSKHGJDAL

50:25 UH?? WHAT IS THAT LMAO

OH ITS ORPHANS PARENTS LMAOOOO

GDFJKHSL DREAM HI

51 MINS IN HGJSKDFJASL DREAM PUT IT BACK IT WAS A GOOD TABLE DREAM

56:25 ‘listen, I’ve read a lot of mythology Phil, and nothing bad has ever happened from angering the gods.’ You SURE about that?

I will actually never get over techno making fun of dream its so funny to me 1:01:10

I am so, so extremely queer for technos planning/schemeing voice like when its kinda quieter and deeper n slower? Hhgnn

Also is latin canon in this universe? Pog

Asmr Technoblade makes a cult :)

Ok ok ok ok SO i know that techno wants to make all the members equal (and i do think that hell try his best to make that possible) but bc hes just,,,so FREAKING powerful both in terms of pvp and resources, i feel like his opinion IS gonna matter more, but also im p sure hes the writer of the arc so like. He has more important opinions anyway so unless he is v obviously controlling the other members of the group, i think this could be a fun collab thing. And i am SO excited to see all yalls analysis for what other people think of him ahhHHH i love analysis.

1:17:10 “whose idea was it to make baby zombies stronger? Why are the babies stronger?? Have you ever fought a baby in real life? I have, and it was trivially easy to defeat, Phil.” TECHNO????

Also i can NOT believe that someone thinks techno doesnt use dark humor,,,,have u WATCHED his videos?????

1:25:05 Like literally RIGHT after he makes a joke abt how ranboos shovel’ll be good for digging graves for his enemies, which was taking soooo long before

Ah yes, technoblade, the 21 yr old child 1:28:40

[littlebabycrybtch]

oh my god regs stop claiming old identities to excuse being a bigot now. idc if u thought you were ace or trans or nonbinary, if you Admit that you arent now and openly Hate and Reject these identities, you no longer get to have a relevant attachment to it and parade it around like a trump card. even though you thought you were, you are not actually that identity. you are saying this yourself. so this shit doesnt count for anything. you may have used the labels and been in the community, you may have had vague experience with it, and thats fine to talk about and see it as something personal, but you dont get to be vocal about it as if you are Still There or relate with it. thats an offense to the people that are actually that identity i mean, you wholeheartedly admit you literally Arent Us but you’re still trying to talk over us? FOR us? lol no, you dont get to pretend you saw the corruption of an identity you literally didnt have, and odds are the reason you felt uncomfortable was bc you fucking admit you were not actually that identity. like. of course you’re going to be uncomfortable when you get your identity wrong and are unknowingly in the wrong environment. how much more simple could this be. you made a mistake and are unfairly blaming others for it. 

cis ppl dont get to be vocal about the trans community bc they questioned their gender previously, non aces dont get to talk for the aspec community, binary trans people dont even get to have opinions on nonbinary trans people, what you may see inside these communities is automatically skewed once you can look back and realize you were not actually one of them. you need to acknowledge this. to be specific ig, internalized homophobia has to be fought on all social levels but is still in the end a completely personal based problem and therefore cis gay people you are on the most basic level like everybody else responsible for your own misunderstandings of yourself and these other identities, and most importantly, you have to recognize that you have the ability to DAMAGE them when you are trying to talk about them but confess you dont actually see yourself in them. if you change your identity you change your community, end of story. you dont get to keep talking about the old one like its evil of them that you chose to be in it out of ignorance. idk like. i saw a terf blog just this Morning that called themself a ‘de-transitioning trans woman / gay man’ and. i am just so Tired of this shit like not to be blunt but no you are not you are a hateful cis guy who had some trouble figuring out ur identity and to hate trans women now makes you a transphobe no matter what your past was like bc you are cis NOW. yall you dont get to just. collect up a bunch of identities so you can hold onto them and feel you can talk abt any issue without listening to others and be free from criticism like even broadly you have to pick Something here and i think when you decide to Hate an old identity you’ve made it clear which side you’re on. you are not the same as the people in these groups, there was always a distinction between you and them, you admit this, you agree with this, so stop acting like you get it. stop using YOUR mistakes and misunderstandings against harmless minorities. again, im not saying if you de-transition or change label you cant talk about your old experiences but... once you realize the truth about yourself, all your experiences with that prior identity are inherently personal and not community ones now bc You were the person that was in the the wrong One and you are switching for a Reason so its not ‘your community’ anymore and frankly, never was. you were always looking at it as someone who wasnt really a part of it, for the love of god, use some brains and recognize that

[sunsetsover]

i think ben has feelings for callum, not so sure callum has feelings for ben, i do think their maybe an attraction from callum end maybe before the i smell a queer scene, when ben said callum got looks and a sense of humour and is the full package and doesn't understand why he doesn't like himself, callum seemed a bit flustered by that. i think ben was intrigued from callum from the start, he introducing himself to callum, digs at callum/whitney and eyes on callum when went serve customer.

i kind of agree with you but also i kind of don’t. 

i absolutely agree that ben was intrigued w callum from the start, though idk if it was necessarily attraction? i think it was more curiosity than anything else, esp after he saw callum in the park w the bottle. callum puts out this air of a kind of happy-go-lucky guy that doesn’t have a care in the world that very few people have got to see past, and yet ben got to see through it almost straight away (accidentally, of course) and i think that contrast piqued ben’s interest. like since he came back ben is someone who likes to know people’s weaknesses so he knows which buttons to push, how to exploit ppl. it’s just the kind of person ben is. so i don’t think that intrigue was necessarily romantic/sexual at the start.

so like when ben said that at the car lot abt looks and a sense of humour etc i think that was him a) just being himself (i mean look at how he’s flirted w ewan, keanu etc, i think that’s just a part of his character now) but also b) him trying to sell that dodgy van on and get it off his hands bc he saw an easy target in callum. ben is a clever manipulator, and when he saw what was going on with the stuart/whitney situation, he exploited that in order to guilt callum into buying the van for whitney, thus getting rid of his problem. he didn’t really care what happened to callum after that, he just wanted the van gone. and he flirted w callum in order to try and disarm him, but also have a bit of a dig (’i can’t understand why you don’t like yourself’) bc that’s just the kind of guy ben is. and ofc callum got a bit flustered bc at the end of the day he is still a repressed gay man being flirted with by a openly gay man. but again, i don’t think really think there was anything between them at that point beyond ben’s curiosity and seeing callum as an easy target.

it’s when when callum had ben pinned, that seems to me when there was some kind of switch in callum that got flicked. it’s not like ben’s not attractive. and there was some serious sexual tension in that moment without either of them meaning for it to be there. and of course ben picked up on it and immediately makes a snarky remark (’i smell queer’). but i actually don’t think either of them are particularly that interested in each other even then. they just had a moment. (and!!! something i’ve not seen anyone talk about before is the fact that ben initially seems like he wants to help callum until he says ‘i ain’t nothing like that’, which is lowkey homophobic, and ben immediately switches and becomes defensive and vindictive. i think that’s really interesting bc that’s a pattern later on too - ben tries genuinely to help callum, some (usually homophobic, usually stuart/jonno based) bullshit happens and ben immediately backs off from callum and begins being cruel again. it’s something i haven’t seen anyone talk about!!!)

i think the first time feelings get somewhat involved is at the housewarming where ben tells callum abt paul. it’s then that callum realizes ben isn’t actually all bad, he’s just hurting and lashing out, and actually he has a surprising capacity for love underneath it all. and ben is obviously touched that callum stood there and heard him out and was kind to him even though he himself knew he probably didn’t deserve it. which is why he went out of his way to thank him the next morning - even though he was obviously very embarrassed and callum probably hadn’t been expecting it. that’s when both of them realize that actually, there’s more to this person than they had first thought. ben shows callum a lot more empathy and tries to be supportive after that (though he does flip flop but like i said, that’s usually linked to violent homophobia at the hands of callum’s family, which is absolutely understandable tbh), and callum is much more willing to sit and listen to what ben has to say. 

then obviously it all culminates with what happened at the park, which is why i don’t agree that ben has feelings but callum doesn’t. callum is obviously someone who takes sex and relationships very seriously. he was a virgin when he got w whitney, even though he had had something going on with chris (and i’m p sure he told whit he had had opportunities to have sex in the past but he didnt bc it didn’t feel right, which just emphasizes the point) - he clearly isn’t the type to just have sex with someone for the sake of having sex. i mean he literally said in the same episode if he has sex with someone, it has to mean something. i don’t think he would have had sex with ben had he not had some degree of feelings for him. callum obviously felt smth for ben by then, otherwise i highly doubt he ever would have gone there in the first place. and if he didn’t before, then he definitely does now. (that said, did callum call ben to the park that night knowing something was going to happen? idk. like i believe he just wanted to warn ben off, but he must have known deep down that there was a chance something might happen, surely.)

i guess you’re right though that ben is developing feelings more obviously than callum. i mean like callum is the first person in a long time who isn’t family that is showing him kindness, and he sees a lot of himself in him. like yes he has a lot of problems, and the situation with his dad, but he has a lot less going on in his head than callum rn. at least his sexuality is the one thing he doesn’t need to be confused abt anymore. bc callum is clearly still messed up and is trying to deal w his feelings towards whitney and his own sexuality and men in general and this desire to live a straight life and this thing with ben and now chris has come back too like?? he has a lot on his plate, bless him. ben isn’t his priority rn. but you only have to see at the way he looks at ben and how he reacts to ben’s name to know he feels Something. 

and i mean you know they’ve only hooked up once!! they barely know each other when u think abt it. there’s obviously something between them, but is it capital f Feelings?? maybe not? not yet at least. but obviously there’s Something. a lot of chemistry, a lot of potential. the beginnings of feelings. i mean if there wasn’t anything why would we all be here !!!!

but ofc you have your opinions and i have mine!!! we all interpret things differently, and obviously i like to hyper analyse Everything lmao :-)

[nvrissa]

hello laid ease and furries ( u know who u are )......hahaha....are u ready for this ? zimzalabim ! my name is xan ( she/her pronouns ) and my laptop has been broken for a good 3 years now i have to use an onscreen keyboard so if u see me typing for 20000 years on discord only to send u a single sentence u know whats up x JSDBJWBJW here is the intro....im really winging this no one call me out for that WOOO....tw: medication, mental health, body image ? perhaps just to be safe <3

ok ! so im not gonna talk too much abt family stuff bc yuno and i are doing the collab of the century here and art takes time people ! JSBDJBWDJW but so u get a good idea...i will write a little abt it lets get it 

so the kwons were two of the biggest faces in hollywood ( and tbh they are still considered icons / hollywood royalty no matter how old they get they stay #Relevant ) think bradgelina ! literally everyone knows who the kwons if u dont u probably live under a rock /: 

their parents are very into the fame thing...so when it came to their kids ( nari and wolfe ) they SUPER pushed the famous life onto them, really expecting both of them to be just as obsessed and enamored by the public. idk if u guys ever say that vid of gigi and bella hadid before they were huge were their mom was pressuring them both to get into modeling and to stay skinny and to be stars etc....it was kinda like that !

so narissa, being the first born, really just internalized that shit...like imagine being told ever since u were a baby that fame and status and ur last name are wildly important and not being able to remember a time when u werent being watched by cameras / a third party ( the public ) bc that was her life ! nari has....no experience as to what life is like without cameras and without having to create this image of herself that ppl are gonna be into 

obviously that’s NOT normal....and it had it’s toll on her /: as a kid she grew up so fast like u know those kids that seem so mature and wise for their age ? that was nari. she always had two versions of herself: inside nari vs outside nari. she was so good at being good just bc she knew what stuff to express and what stuff to keep inside ( spoiler alert: most of it was kept in x )  

she is still very much desperate to please her parents despite it all /: i feel like for a long time she kinda excepted and agreed that fame is everything ( hence why shes known for using her last name to get her places ) but shes starting to realize just how FUCKED it all is and just how much it’s messed her up so stay tuned for more fun !

ok so career stuff ! nari started off as a child model bc she was um super cute and super good at knowing what to do / not freaking out in front of cameras <3 but she was always obsessed with actors ! she used to sit in front of the tv for hours legit study and memorize ppls mannerisms and various movie lines.. she was literally always just quoting random lines / imitating various actors so often her parents were like ok word go act !    

she landed her first role at 12 and it was a pretty huge role as a lead chara in a mini television series that revolved around a cast of kids ( think stranger things but not plot wise just how some of the mains were kids ) with zero acting experience before hand ... so it was pretty clear to the media nari got the spot bc she was a kwon ! there was a bunch of controversy around the show before it came out but once it was released...there was no denying nari had talent

after that it was just a whirlwind of acting doors opening up for her. everyone wanted nari bc of her last name and all the attention that came from it, not to mention every director wanted to be The One that helped narissa kwon become one of the most famous actresses of the 21st century. most of the time she was getting cast for selfish reasons but nari never realized it /: she was just happy to be acting bc it really was like therapy for her to become different ppl

flash forward to age 15 when narissa was finally diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and was prescribed meds to help ! it was actually a director from a movie she was working on that suggested to her parents nari might be struggling after witnessing her have a panic attack on set. not wanting a scandal, her parents agreed it was best to get her “help” which included pills and weekly therapy ! 

so nari actually didnt mind it too much tbh she HAD been struggling for a while she just assumed her anxiety was normal and just like something all famous ppl were dealing with but that wasnt the case. she was hesitant to open up to her therapist just bc she was still obsessed with this idea of inside nari vs outside nari, and she was very scared to cross that line so it took....years of sessions to build up that trust

as she got older though and as she got more famous, everyone just assumed she was better. she was more famous and loved by the day, she had become a chanel ambassador ( thank u jennie x ), her interviews on youtube always brought in record views, she’d started in plenty of movies critics agreed would become cult classics, her social medias were nearing kardashian level in terms of followers: everything was on track....

....except nari had actually never been more unstable. she had become so dependent on her meds she couldnt go anywhere or talk to anyone without popping a few in. all the watching eyes were starting to make her paranoid, not to mention the pressure from her parents ( who couldn’t be happier with nari being so famous ) was at its all time high. she had been nominated for an oscar at 21 and everyone was expecting her to win...and then she didnt

narissa kwon famously fainted at the 2018 oscars after it was announced she had lost the award. her actual fainting wasnt caught on camera or televised, but it WAS witnessed by some of the most relevant names and faces in hollywood who were in that room. the scandal took the media by storm, the hashtag #getwellnarissa trending for over 42 hours until a statement was released she had fainted bc of dehydration and other undisclosed causes and that she was okay & currently taking it easy at home surrounded by family 

in reality it was the abuse of her medication as well as all the stress, but when your last name is kwon manipulating the press is as simple as making the right phone call. unfortunately for nari and her parents, the article about the brat pack came out a week later, and there was no manipulating that source /:

for narissa, it was all a wake up call. she decided to go off her anxiety meds altogether. after falling out with the brat pack she spent that year trying to figure out who she was separate from her fame and her last name. despite some offers from a few casting directors ( surprisingly some people still wanted her despite the scandals bc she was still a kwon, after all ) narissa rejected every role except one in a coming of age indie movie that explores womanhood and mental health as well as strained relationships with mothers. the movie is set to release sometime mid august hehe (~:

she agreed to come to milan to reunite with the brat pack bc she’s still searching for herself ! nari figures the people who quite literally grew up with her might give her some answers......not to mention there is still a part of her who is desperate to reclaim the image and status she had before everything fell apart </3    

PERSONALITY/TIDBITS

narissa is....complicated to say the least. growing up in front of the cameras and in a family who prioritized fame and outside opinions of you as the most important thing, she is quite literally desperate for praise and approval. because she legit has no idea what parts of her are real and what parts of her she’s created for her public persona, she often looks for understanding in others!! shes very very good at analyzing people and understanding people in the hopes that its gonna make her better at analyzing herself, but to no avail. 

libra sun capricorn moon !! THIS is super accurate and telling if u wanna read but i kinda just summarized it in the last bullet

she is such a perfectionist with everything she does and a bit of a control freak in the sense that if she’s not the one doing something, she doesnt have faith whatever that is will be able to live up to her unrealistic standards. directors are often concerted with nari bc whenever she gets big roles.....she is so hard on herself, often asking for take after take bc she monitors every little thing abt her expression or her movements. she’s often left frustrated and disappointed with herself bc again, her standards are SUPER unrealistic ):

she’s relatively sweet!! growing up with the brat pack they probably knew her as the life of the party, very bubbly, confident, and very easy to have fun with as long as you’re being tolerable. however, she can get kind of opinionated at times so it’s very hard for you to gain her trust and respect back if you lose it. she’s also prone to random mood swings / periods of isolation, but whenever she returns its with a big smile and a soft voice assuring you everything is okay 

very good at lying and deceiving ppl but she hardly ever does it on purpose ( unless her publicists asks her too ). she’s carried this persona / public image of herself curated for consumption from others for so long, sometimes she has no idea when she’s being sincere or if she’s just convincing herself she’s being sincere. most of the time she only deceives other people about herself. she can come across as kind of elusive because of this ( think daisy from gatsby’s perspective ) but it’s not on purpose. she just legit has no true sense of self isnt that sexy?

speaking of sex. JWDBJWBDJWBD she also uses that as a coping mechanism / a weird affirmation that yes, she IS wanted by others and yes she IS seen as someone beautiful and that she IS something to be consumed by others ( like i said in my tags....male fantasies male fantasies ) but then at the same time she feels guilty abt this and so unsatisfied and disgusted at how she’s living her life as an object / manifestation of other people’s projections rather than as a normal person...rip </3 its a cycle

ever since her relationship with micah that was so hated by the public it actually ruined and ended their relationship, nari has been too scared to publicly have a relationship again. the media seems to love seeing her on casual dates with other stars, but not to see her tied down to one person, as that kind of “damages” this super accessible persona she’s put out ( think idols and why they cant date )  

she loves poetry, french music, all of marilyn monroe and audrey hepburn’s movies, nonfiction essays abt womanhood and identity, anything chanel, is particularly fond of silk dresses but is partial to velvet as well, wears lacy bralettes under everything bc it makes her a little more confident, actually prefers large parties to small ones because small gatherings are more personal therefore give her more anxiety, would only eat fruit and drink champagne if she could live like that, doesn’t know how to swim so she’s scared of the ocean as well as the dark, used to study ballet as a kid and misses it terribly, doesn’t know how to drive and isn’t planning to learn, can be materialistic at times, is probably an introvert masquerading as an extrovert for 22 years now, the only movies she cant stand are westerns, loves to travel but is scared of flying, doesn’t drink coffee, and is allergic to nuts. 

last but most important fact about narissa is that she loves her brother wolfe more than anything in this world so messing with him is the only way nari is bound to 100% hate you. she can bully him all she wants ( ex. starting very real rumors he IS in fact a furry ) but no one else is aloud to actually be mean to him or she will kill you

also very random but i had a hc that when she was 6 and her pet cat jinx died she caused enough fuss at home her parents actually made it a national holiday in about thirteen different states. the anniversary of this death is december 4th and yes . the brat pack better mourn jinx with nari every year......

pls spare plots im sorry this is so long.....JBDJBWJDBWJBWDJBJ i promise it will be worth it also im sensitive and very small ... how can u say no ? 

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

ah yeah i suppose ur right. yeah i think quarentine has had that sort of effect on a lot of people :( sorry to hear abt ur strict parents, hopefully ur friend will be able to come back soon. small outings (even with family) are still good tho, make sure ur taking care of urself toff.

youre totally right! ah yes thats good advice (/gen) ill try and use that when im in a slump ty. any music suggestions?

lol sames. even some of the stuff abt seungmin, innie etc is a little uncomfortable, like theyre grown ass men for sure, but at the same time, theyre still young, still just over being a teenager in the grand scheme of things. (on that note, i do struggle with worrying that im infantalising them, obviously theyre adults but at the same time, theyre still young. i do treat all fictional characters as my children, but i guess its different when its real people. idk. what do you think?) yeah some stans rlly need to take a chill pill, some are rlly walking the wire between 'ah theyre attractive/that look rlly suits them' and making fucking smut fics abt minors, like... they do not see a problem with that?? yeah tbh i feel like unless theyre 18 they shouldnt be put into the spotlight, weve seen what it does to peoples mental health, but modern day kpop industry is a lot like old hollywood with a lot of popular child actors -_- hopefully the big companies will learn but i agree, its unlikely

suuuuure toff haha. ill go searching for them, but idk if ill be able to find the fluff needle in the angst haystack (jkjk) yeah, fair i groan and complain but you do write angst etc rlly well, so if its what ur comfortable with, then pls continue, it is one of your strong suits, well as you write fluff aside

ah okay good! ill continue to send you essays then

THE ALBUM YES. so ive been looking forward to it for literally months, this is actually my first skz album release as a stay (since the last on was 9 months ago) i was sitting there hitting refresh on my spotify the second 6pm kst came around. (speaking of which, how did you do the release? i couldnt decide whether to watch or listen first but i ended up on listening cos there would be more material) okay: so cheese was super cool, very skz ya know? tho i almost wish theyd made domino the title track, tho obv it was a more experimental track and would have been a bit controversial (much like whistle for bp) i looooved domino and thunderous was absolutely impeccable. all the songs were amazing but standouts were- secrets, secrets which lowkey made me tear up idk why, red lights which almost killed me (it did not have to go that hard, but it did) and OT8 WOLFGANG omgggg i wasnt sure if hyunjin was going to be included in it but i was hoping and, ya know people had said hed be in there, but the further i got in, the less i was sure and then BAM hyunjin started what had been jisung's part and i just sat there grinning for about 5 minutes. surfin was absolutely adorable and gone away almost made me cry AGAIN. star lost was so touching, almost a nod to hyunjins little star? silent cry was relatable beyond anything. SSICK was funny? for some reason I was laughing while it was playing, idk the combination of added cheering and minhos aggressiveness and the totall seriousness they sung it. but i rlly enjoyed it. sorry i love you showcased their vocals like nothing else. the view is THE BOP of 2021, absolutely going to be stuck in my head for the next decade, that hook is genius. what did you think?

also did you watch their grow up performance? with all the stays and ALL THE TEARS? ;n; i feel like this is the end of an era of skz and tbh im kinda happy but also sad. super excited for their promotions but super bummed they wont get to tour. ah well

<3 w.a. 🐺

answer under the cut bc i gave an equally long answer to this already long ask HAJSH

oh yeah, abt quarantine having an effect. my friend and i talked about this earlier actually. i didn't realize the world was moving so fast until the pandemic happened. being in quarantine gave me time to think and i got to know myself more. it's just the sole good thing i got out of the isolation lmao. and abt my strict parents, ironically i got to go out today so i got to hang out with a few of my bestfriends. i had fun but my legs are a bit sore from walking. but they're a different set of friends. i'll get to hang out with the others when my getaway driver comes home in december.

hmm music recommendations for writing? depends on the plot you're writing. care to share what story you're working on and i'll try to rake my brain for a song that might match the vibe. i listen to classical / lo-fi if i don't have song inspo for a fic because lyrics sometimes distract me.

i don't think that's infantilizing tho. for me, it has something to do with my environment and the way i was raised. maybe it's the same the other way around? like this certain age (for the ones above 18 but below 20) is thirst-able for them. idk really. it's just not for me ?n? what i do NOT condone is writing smut for minors??? like get checked : D // i agree with everything with the idols being 18+ before they debut simply because it's for the best for their well-being like. how can young idols decide that this shit is the thing they want to do for life? or at least until their contracts last. idk :// it's unfortunate that it's unlikely to happen.

WELL. i have a list so you won't have to go search for them! in class (minho), in the rain (seungmin), gladius maximus (chan) and you've read five star already. and i just realized that most, if not all, of my upcoming fics are fluffs and i'm fond of all of them :D i used to focus a lot on angst because fluff disgusted the living shit out of me. i think things changed when i wrote champagne problems and hurt myself so bad i wanted to drop angst entirely. i didn't, of course, but i allowed myself to be self-indulgent now.

for the release of the album, i was on twt and watched the vid at 12 views (if i remember correctly, i watched back door at 14 so HASJH) i’m gonna talk by track so it wont be too confusing? bc i wrote this in paragraph format and it just ???? beware im very picky with tracks even if they’re my ults. so no offense if we have opposing opinions and i’m not fond of reading lyrics so these are all music wise.

cheese - oh god i hated cheese at first listen but it grew on me easily. i was singing the yeahyeahyeahyeah bit all day today :D

thunderous - i cant say that it’s my favorite title track. it felt really dry sometimes, both mv and music wise. but at the same time, it’s not that bad. the choreography carried the song tho o.O it’s so fucking cool. but like go live, another track has my heart and it’s

domino - AND YES I AGREE THAT THEY SHOULDVE MADE DOMINO TITLE TRACK UGHHHHH WHAT A WASTED FUCKING OPPORTUNITY. WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS HOW FOND I AM OF THIS SONG. it stands close to the level i love easy.

ssick - was a skip on first listen too because i found the chorus underwhelming but it grew on me? not that much but i can bear listening to it.

the view - it’s something the gen public like, hence its something i dislike. im not fond of songs that are structured like this? it’s not a bad song, just not the type of song i like. but i agree that the hook is very not catchy but it would get stuck in ur head.

sorry, i love you - it’s not as sad as i expected but i actually like it??? i can’t wait to write a fic out of it (1) HAJSHAJ it’s like a 3/5 for me. it’s angsty but chill?

silent cry - i’m pissed at this song bc it hits but sometimes it doesn’t?@?#!? but it’s starting to grow on me but definitely not my fave track.

secret secret - glad i found a secret secret enthusiast because my irls thought it was a skip?$?#@$? it gives me ikon vibes and i’m a huge fan of ikon’s discog so this was a win for me T_T +

STAR LOST - gives me bigbang song vibes and now im very sad :(( in case u didnt know, i’m a hUGE yg fan and 2ne1/bigbang introduced me to kpop so when i heard this track that gave me yg feels i just <3___<3 and it’s one of my favorite tracks anw moving on,

red lights - I WANT TO SKIP THE FIRST TEN SECONDS OF RED LIGHTS EVERY TIME IT PLAYS LIKE IT MAKES ME FEEL AWKWARD KDSJFSK but fine. i’m adding this to props and mayhem’s playlist LMAO it’s more aggressive than sexc tho. more enemies to lovers o. O

surfin’ - this coming right after red lights just wasn’t the best decision arrangement wise because how did we go from ooh sexc to aigh pARTAY. felix saying sheesh T___T it’s such a fun song i want to go to the beach ;n; do you like beaches?

gone away - i have yet to read the lyrics because i’m using this as inspo for a jeongin fic jskjash it’s not the type of ballad i like but it’s so fucking sad to listen to :’ ) the pitch change caught me off guard? still does. it’ll grow on me prolly.

wolfgang - I YELLED WHEN I HEARD HYUNJIN IN WOLFGANG. i didn’t like this song until recently. it gives me the confidence boost i need to pick myself off self-esteem crashes.

and no i haven't watched that performance and i prolly wont because i’ll cry. i’m excited for the promotions too. do you think they’ll still have a repackage?? i cant fucking believe that i just finished waiting for 12am kst for skz teasers and now i have to look forward to 12am for nct 127??@?#? NOT A SINGLE DAY OF REST FOR THIS STAYZEN

[heartsoftruth]

i have had a multi part in me since the neymar/cavani saga started so i thought i let it out. some things to get out of the way- cavani is a great player; neymar is a greater player; no hate just straight talk. 1. neymar went there(downgrade in league and club) to be the main man & thats exactly why psg bought him. he certainly wasnt tempted to go there to serve uruguays second best striker. idk what cavani thought abt it but likely it didnt escape him that his position as the team's star is

Anonymous said:2. threatened and he decided to put up a fight and show neymar whos the boss(insisting on all fk/pen, not passing to him). he scored many goals last year but didnt lead psg to trophies. i feel bad for him waiting so long to be the star but he is deluded if he thinks psg will be his team and neymar will accept. id bet my ass he wont. neymar is a better player not only in skills but also in leadership drive- e.g. the remontada. i think neymar tried to work with him(passing to him a lot, not asking

Anonymous said:3. the first couple of games for freekicks/penalties) and that made cavani think this is how its gonna be. idt cavani realizes that theres only one way this will end- with neymar winning, for 2 reasons- psg bought him to be the star of the team and moreover neymar is a better player then cavani. both of those are a fact and not an opinion. this embarassing problem now is the management and coach’s fault. emery may have other great qualities as a coach but HR mgmt doesnt seem to be among those.

Anonymous said:4. this is very bad for this team. *a divided team will win nothing and make no one shine regardless of the quality.* it was increadibly stupid to not address the pen/fk situation from the start,a huge fail by the coach. he didnt think they will both feel entitled to take them?!? one by virtue of being last year’s taker the other by being brought in specifically to lead the team. its like both the coach and cavani thought that if they ignore the potential problem it will just settle by itself.

Anonymous said:5. i read today that some psg brazilians are against neymar in this case- i dont believe that for a second: even if they are not friends already(which most are), they play together for br and with wc next year its in their best interest to keep him happy and well practiced and comfortable in all aspects, penalties and fk included. if he leads br to the wc they will all walk away champions not just him. dani alves tho is not doing neymar any favors by making it look like a playground squabble.

Anonymous said:6. i also read something about cavani saying to neymar on the first day do you think you are messi- i dont buy that either, it would have been openly hostile and childish and immediately soured their relationship irreparably. cavani cant be that dumb. its just an example how the whole situation has become a circus and everyone (media) is taking advantage to invent things. i cant imagine how neymar would have reacted on and off the pitch but it surely would have shown in the first games.

Anonymous said:7(final, thank god lol). lastly, while i do advocate neymar to be the fk/pen taker and psg as his team and i think cavani must fall in line(maybe ruthless but life often if), i dont applaud neymar spotlighting the issue on the pitch- imo he should not have aired it out for the world to discuss and mock. he should have waited and addressed with the coach after the game. probably even after the first game it happened(st etienne?) and not let it escalate as it did vs lyon.

Oh boyyyyy hahah. I think the most - whats the correct English word for this - organized way of answering this is part by part? haha. 

I wrote a long rant a day after the controversy with Cavani. I havent posted it on here - only showed it to one person on here - but some things I wrote you also pointed out. 

1. Indeed we all know Neymar went to PSG to be a leader and not play second fiddle to Cavani. He learned from the best and decided it was his time to lead. He won’t play under a player like Cavani who talent wise/potential doesn’t come close to Ney. 

2. Again: I think the main problem is that both players though they would be responsible for the freekicks/penalties. I can’t remember if Cavani also took all the free kicks in the other matches? (for some reason I think no but I have no idea). 

¾: The problem here lies with the coach for me. You can say he’s a new player in the team he should know his place, but he didnt came to PSG to know his place and work his way to the top. He came to PSG because he IS the top and they want to get to the European top. Emery should have known Cavani wanted to be the no1 still and it was clear what Neymar wants to be. If the little incident - that didnt blow up - against St. Etienne, but even after Lyon he couldnt act like a coach and leader and tell the press they will discuss who is the penalty takes… 

I like Unai. Don’t get me wrong. What he did with Sevilla was amazing, but at PSG he’s getting exposed. I know it’s not an easy task if you have two players with this talent act liker this, but step up. 

5. That’s the most dangerous thing with Ney: agreeing with him just to keep him happy. That’s why I always will find his transfer to PSG dangerous because I think with his personality he also needs someone who tells him the truth from time to time. Who tells him when he’s being a brat, when he should stfu and man up. Dani is annoying me since he left Juve the way he did so I won’t comment on him (since it won’t be good haha). But it’s bs to say Marquinhos is annoyed by him. I see him even more with Marquinhos than with Dani tbh (I love Marquinhos btw. What a sweetheart). Maybe Moura can secretly be annoyed by his arrival since PSG has to get rid of a few players and he’s one of them. 

6. These full quotes always amaze me and - after this whole PSG transfer sage - I know not to believe them tbh. 

7. That would mean Ney would think instead of acting immediately and - with all due respect to my hotheaded munchkin - he doesn’t so that in the moment. Also one of his biggest weakness but also what makes him world class. He doesn’t think when he’s on the field and just does what comes to mind. With the ball that’s good without it, it’s dangerous and it showed us manny times it can be (in the past also). 

To be honest it’s weird for me because I dont give af about PSG, but I care about Ney. So I can’t think in only Ney’s interest since I know he needs this team to achieve his goals with them… Normally - like most of the other football fans - I would have laughed at all these troubles for a buying team like PSG, but when you’re fave plays for them it’s like you wanna laugh, and you laugh, but then you realize Ney is in this mess too… 

PSG has a lot of problems to be honest and I don’t know how Bayern is doing - probably amazing - but they have more thing to worry about other than this incident. The fact is also that they are - even with all these buys - play very badly, slow tempo, wrong passes and with some players who don’t even deserve to be on the team. They have much work cut out for them even without this shit. And all eyes will be on them more then ever and most people outside of France hope they will fail. 

[aerisse-remade]

hi its time to talk shit again

im gonna be doing these with su (like i said in the tags lmao) bc i cant answer like half of these with vocaloid so,.,

all of this is gonna be under a cut so sorry @ app users ig

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

uhh gregpearl, jaspis, grasper, pewey, pretty much all gem/men ships except gregrose. also steven/gem ships

2. Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?

amedot maybe?? i like it tho, i think it's cute

3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

not yet, but i definitely will if i find out if ppl hold certain opinions lmao

4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?

my ultimate notp is jaspis. jasper deserves better than to be shipped with her literal abuser lmfao. not only is it the most popular jasper ship, its also popular overall unfortunately :////

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

LAPIDOT. i still like it a bit, but the fandom (and canon) has made it worse lmao......i miss old school lapidot

6. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?

i dont think so? i can't think of any

7. Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?

uhh i guess lapis? i wouldnt say that i cant stand her now, but i do hate her lmfao. she used to be so good pre-jailbreak.......i'll never forgive for what they did to her

8. Have you received anon hate? What about?

surprisingly no! im really surprised ive never really gotten shit for thinking (more like realizing lbr) that jasper was the victim in the malachite situation (or for shit talking jaspis lmao). bc lapis stans always wanna excuse the shitty things she did and blame jasper for everything :///

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why?

lapis. nd its super petty but it's literally just bc of how she treated jasper, got away with it without facing any consequences, AND bc of the fandom turning around and labeling her as the victim and shat all over jasper and calling HER the abuser instead

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

the sardonyx arc. the show made it seem like garnet and ruby were somehow in the wrong for being angry at pearl ?? when they had every right to?? id be pissed too if someone i trusted broke my own trust and used me/my relationship for their own benefit. ....also i dont really care for sardonyx herself tbh

11. Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

ronaldo!!! everyone hates him but like.....he's my boy. he reminds me of a friend i had in hs

12. Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

uhh i dont really go into the tag much anymore, and when i do its for art, so i dont know how it was recieved overall. but i know that a lot of ppl really hated the human zoo arc (and with good reason too!). yeah the human zoo was incredibly fucked up and bad, and there were better ways it could've ended, but ig overall i was ok with it? i wouldn't say i loved it, but i certainly dont hate it either. i was glad to see blue diamonds design revealed (even tho its not how i imagined her ://), holly blue, the famethyst, and yd and the pearls singjng

13. Unpopular opinion about XXX character?

uhh i'll just do peridot. i honestly dont care for her much anymore after she lost her limb enhancers. and i see a lot of ppl complaining abt her and lapis not being in the recent episodes but im really glad theyre not tbh. im so tired of them

14. Unpopular opinion about your fandom?

the su crit crowd makes really good points sometimes. yea some of them reach sometimes but for the most part, they make really good observations nd have made me think about the show's writing more. everyone shits all over them without actually looking at the good stuff they post

15. Unpopular opinion about the manga/show?

it's not as progressive as many claim it is. sure, it's got a lot of lesbians, poc, and women overall, but the show has a real bad habit of treating it's poc and butch characters like shit while overly focusing on the white(coded) and femme characters

16. If you could change anything in the show, what would you change?

GOD i would change a lot of things. the main thing i'd change is how the whole mala situation went down and how jasper and lapis were written/treated. i would also have peridot either get her limb enhancers back or make new ones for herself. i'd want steven to at least TRY to free the humans and the famethyst from the zoo. i also think itd have been really interesting for him to take one of the bubbled rose quartzs with him. ALSO BISMUTH. free her!!! she didnt deserved to be bubbled again nor did she deserve to be treated like some villain for wanting to shatter literal dictators :///

17. Instead of XYZ happening, I would have made ABC happen…

instead of lapis tricking and imprisoning jasper, she'd either have said no and let the cgs handle jasper, or have just punched her off like she did to her in alone at sea. or she agreed, formed malachite, THEN in chille tid, told steven where they were so the cgs could come and poof them and bubble jasper. for bismuth, instead of her getting angry and fighting steven only to end up bubbled again, i wouldve had her actually talk to steven. say smth like "rose said the same thing" and actually listen to him and come to some sort of agreement and not be bubbled at all. or yknow.....have steven agree with her that the diamonds are bad and actually want to try to liberate all gems

18. Does not shipping something ‘popular’ mean you’re in denial and/or biased?

not really lmao? theres a lot of shitty popular ships. tho i will say that if you dont ship rupphire then like.......wyd

19. What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

their treatment of butch characters and non-stereotypically feminine gems lmfao. esp jasper and bismuth, and ppl always wanting to call non feminine gems "wow a male gem finally!!!" (jasper, ruby, bismuth, blue zircon). not to mention the (probable) majority who literally think jasper abused lapis :///

20. What is the purest ship in the fandom?

rupphire, no doubt about it

21. What are your thoughts on crack ships?

uhh as long as its not pedophilic or shipping the gems (besides rose) with men, then im probably ok with it

22. Popular character you hate?

lapis

23. Unpopular character you love?

ronaldo. and also jasper ofc. but i dont know if shes actually popular or not. it sure feels like she's unpopular tho.....

24. Would you recommend XXX to a friend? Why or why not?

yeah, but only so i'd have someone to talk with about it lmfaooooo

25. How would you end XXX/Would you change the ending of XXX?

uhh i guess for me i'd want jasper uncorrupted, happy, and not barned, first of all. i'd also want bismuth unbubbled, all the other corrupted gems healed n happy. the rubies, famethyst, zoo humans, topaz, zircons, and off colours all happy living on earth. i also want all the bubbled rose quartzs to be saved, and possibly any other gem on homeworld being free from the diamonds rule. or yknow....,just have the diamonds stop being dictators and dismantle the hierarchy/caste system. if the diamonds cant be redeemed somehow, then they should be shattered

26. Most shippable character?

fuck if i know

27. Least shippable character?

steven ig? you cant really ship him with the gems or most of the humans soooo

[leaughrilke]

super-sensate-seestras replied to your post

“Who do u think the superbabies will date?? :D (also since stella looks...”

I would love to hear more about Stella and Beth's relationship drama cause I absolutely love all of these breakdowns about the superbabies

WELL FRIEND there’s other drama too but this is the Major drama that hinders their relationship for a long time

so stella know she has a crush on beth, has been like aggressively ignoring said crush and tryin to Live Her Life and its been a year since stella came out, came to terms and she’s just started her nighttime shenanigans as a vigilante, just started trying to help the way kara does, the way maia does and its going ok???  until she.  you know.  gets stabbed (LIGHTLY STABBED) and is like hmmm i feel as though i should reassess maybe

and then beth’s back in national city after graduating early with like three bachelors (xenobiology, nanotechnology, and engineering) and at least one masters and a corresponding doctorate (in something sciencey, listen im barely an english major), working at l-corp bc she’s a Documented Genius and stella wants to step up her vigilante game, especially since she recently was lightly stabbed and doesnt rlly want that to happen again, and beth’s always been rlly calm and steady, very logical and she keeps all of maia’s secrets, so stella approaches her a little reluctantly to see if she’s willing to help and beth gives her this long, searching look and finally agrees, designs and builds her a new suit with a shitton of gadgets, is the main reason stella starts getting called mechagirl by the press but only helps with stella’s promise that beth can then help with actual missions bc like??  beth cares about her a lot too, doesnt want to see her die ya know??

and it’s weird??  bc now she’s friends with beth in her own right???  works alongside her a lot and beth serves as her tech person, finds her jobs she can do that supergirl or birdy (maia’s superhero alter ego) haven’t gotten to yet and national city gains a new superhero pretty much bc of beth.  and then its a late night of saving ppl and stella comes back to her apartment/headquarters and beth’s still there, wrapping up some end of night reports (she insists on keeping detailed logs in order to avoid any issues with the cops later on) and she’s ordered stella’s favorite takeout, put it in the oven to warm for her and stella’s so grateful and also pretty tired??  rlly tired and beth basically lives with her and sometimes the proximity blurs lines in stella’s mind and so she just leans down to kiss beth, murmurs thank you sleepily and goes into her room to change.  and beth’s just sitting there??  like oh my god, the girl i’ve been in love with for months just kissed me and she doesn’t even realize it but then stella REALIZES IT and runs back out like shit im so sorry beth, that was so inappropriate of me but beths like??  wait do you not like me and stella’s like WAIT DO YOU LIKE ME???? 

surprise!!  this is how stella finds out beth’s an alien and also how beth finds out stella’s an alien lmao.  like.  beth’s species has mental shields, similar to martians??  so stella’s never been able to read her or see in her mind but she never rlly tried to or even questioned it??  or even noticed bc she’s rlly empathetic anyway, reads body language rlly well, so she’s never known that beth likes her the way stella likes beth

like, later in their relationship, stella suddenly can read beth??  like rlly well and she’s like um what the hell and beth’s like oh, yeah, i stopped putting up the block and stella’s just like starry eyed like holy shit you trust me that much???  

beth’s like uh yeah but dont let it go to your head you nerd

but are they smart abt this and admit their v deep feelings for one another then??  no.  they just hookup and then keep hooking up, pretending like nothings changed, pretending like theyre not basically living together or doing all the shit Couples do but just refusing to tell anyone or acknowledge it at all.  and it’s ok for a while??  its solid

but then stella’s suit malfunctions, gives her a nasty burn down her side and she begs beth to not tell anyone that she’s in the hospital, that she’s been hurt and beth’s like shit, stella, i can’t keep doing this bc they’re working with a budget of about eleven dollars, a starburst, and stella’s bus pass, building with shit from the scrap yard and old electronics from secondhand stores and beth wants stella to just tell her family she’s the new vigilante bc then they’d have access to better resources, then beth wouldn’t be so scared every time stella runs out to go save a family from a burning car or stop a bank robbery, but stella refuses, knows that it would be a battle to be accepted like this.  

its a fight they’ve had for months before and then stella’s armor fucks up and beth just calls it.  tells her that she comes clean or beth won’t help her keep almost dying, so stella tells her that she doesn’t need her and beth moves all her shit out of stella’s apartment and its all rlly quiet, subdued and its so fucking sad

she takes the job offer she has at wayne security in charm city (wink wink) and doesnt tell stella, stella finds out when she goes over to her moms and finds beth there, with maia and her moms and finn, all laughing and grinning and maia tells her that beth is getting her own department at wayne security, that she’s moving on friday and stella fakes a smile, congratulates beth before she leaves and that’s the end of it, she never sees beth again

but then stella wrecks her motorcycle.  i think i mentioned once that stella is a little bit of an adrenaline junkie??  well she’s a huge adrenaline junkie and she was testing the limits of her newly redesigned bike, pushing it past 90, 120, 150 and then she just??  loses control of the motorcycle.  it just spins out and stella tries to stop it, turns into the spin and pumps the brakes which slows it down enough that she doesnt just fucking die, but not so much that she’s not close to dying

beth is still her emergency contact.  so beth gets the call, middle of the night, that stella danvers was in a wreck, is on the way to the hospital and that she should get here as soon as possible.  but beth is a ten hour drive away and can’t possibly know that she’d get there soon enough, be there if....if it came down to stella not being alone.  and.  well.  its not her place, never was.  so she calls lena, tells her the emts called the last number stella called bc its so much easier that way, kinder to everyone she thinks

she still drives through the night to national city.  gets there just a little after maia does, her eyes red and puffy from sobbing on the freeway, hands shaking a little.  thank god no one asks why she’s there or why she’s this panicked, bc she’d probably tell them and she knows that’s the last thing stella would want (or, well.  she thinks that at least).  maia just sobs out that beth is the best friend for coming, holds onto her in this desperate, damp sort of hug and beth just stays quiet

beth doesnt stay after she finds out stella woke up, is going to be okay.  she can’t right??  she shouldnt be here in the first place right??

so maia stays in national city to help stella in her recovery bc stella’s being stubborn and refuses to move back in with their moms, and maia figures most of her moping is to do with the fact she’s not allowed anywhere near her motorcycle anymore, but then she finds this one shirt that she knows is beth’s, knows beth has had since high school and its tucked under stella’s pillow and she puts it together pretty quickly.  the way they were friends and then all of a sudden they werent, the way beth came running back to nc the second stella got hurt, that weird pulse of anger, hurt she felt when stella found out beth was moving to charm city.  and like???  she doesnt know what to do with that information, she’s not sure what to feel or how to think about this so she just files it away for a later time, tucks the shirt back under stella’s pillow without saying anything

so eventually stella gets convinced to move back home, bc maia’s like hey.  i dont mind living with you and i dont mind helping you, but the neighbors are starting to think its weird that i carry you up the three flights of stairs to your apartment every day so finally stella moves home and maia comes with her bc they’re finally in a good place again??  they finally worked things out between them from when they were kids and maia’s not about to leave stella, not when stella’s like finally started seeing her as another Certified Safe Place.  so they’re back in their childhood bedrooms and then lena finds out about stella’s vigilantism.  mostly by accident??  stella’s still p much out of commission until her body’s at a 100 percent again but lena finds the mask and its a whole Thing between them, the first time stella’s ever really fought with lena and then by natural extension, kara finds out and then maia clues in and then the whole family has an opinion on it and stella’s just like MCFUCK OFF

and maia??  is like desperately scared for her sister, and she’s angry and she’s hurt that she didn’t tell her, didnt think that she would do anything to help her, but she also knows how isolated stella feels, how helpless she must be feeling, how stuck she is, so she calls beth

and when beth is beating around the bush with it, playing dumb like idk why you’d call me??  stella and i really aren’t that close, maia just calls her out on it like.  elizabeth, i know for a fact you were sleeping with my sister

oh

yeah, oh.  i have some words to share with you at a later date, but right now stella needs someone in her corner and that can’t be me 

and beth doesnt like.  doesnt even hesitate.  she drives her shitty beat up jetta the ten hours it takes to get from charm city to national city and gets a shitty hotel and is so, so nervous??  bc what if stella doesnt want her here??  what if she never wants to see beth again???  but then maia’s texting, saying that the house is empty if she wants to talk to stella and she does, she really does, like?  she didnt realize how big of a part of her life stella was until she was gone, until she had moved to a new city and met new people like she’s completely in love with stella, so she goes

stella opens the door and just stares for a second before she says that maia’s out for a while but beth just keeps looking at her and finally says it outright, says i’m here to see you, stella like its the most obvious thing in the world and stella’s so tired, she’s starting to close the door and she’s saying i dont need another lecture, i’ve had enough of those for a lifetime and beth lets her close it, knows her well enough to know she wont walk away from the door before beth does, so she calls through and says im not here to lecture you, stell.  i just.  i wanted to see you

the door opens

and its incredibly uncomfortable for a while, incredibly tense and when beth tries to ask her what’s going on, stella just hisses what, like you care?  and beth like??  normally would fire back with something, normally would let this blow up into a fight but she’s thought about it, she really has, and she knows that any time she can have with stella is better than no time at all.  that she’d rather take stella as she is, thrill seeking and too good for words and hard headed in the extreme, take the risks that come with her than have anything else.  so beth nods.  yeah.  i care.  i care a lot about you stella, and i shouldnt have forced you to make a decision like i did.  but its scary when the girl you love doesnt see the same value in her life that you do and it was terrifying watching you leave every night and not being sure if i would wake up to your face on the news

and stella’s like??  shit.  shIT, didn’t account for this at all.  but beth is very steady, is giving her this even-keeled look, keeping her eyes on stella but not forcing eye contact and she finally stands, gets ready to leave 

and she tells stella i love you.  and believe me when i say that transcends boundaries like platonic and romantic.  i love you, stella danvers, and i will always be here for you, in whatever way you want me to be and then she’s leaving 

and stella has a choice to make, two paths she can take and she stands a little unsteadily and grabs beth’s hand and pulls her back 

and she’s like im still pretty stupid, you’re aware of that, right?  and beth laughs, refutes the statement as she rests her forehead against stella’s.  you’re not stupid, stella, never stupid.  a little dense sometimes...  and stella laughs too before she admits, finally, i love you too, genius.  and i dont think i can keep doing this without you?  and she tries to backpedal, bc she’s worried she’s being manipulative or something but beth just shakes her head, says im going to kiss you now, ok?  and stella’s nodding fast, tears finally starting to fall when it all hits her and then they’re kissing for the first time in six months and theyre maybe still kissing when everyone comes home and maia groans bc like i texted you specifically so i could avoid seeing this ugh you guuuyyysssss