#like i coule cry just thinking about it

[placeinsideyou]

when niall horan said “and i will steady your hand, when you're losing your grip, even if i don't understand, you can talk to me” and “show me all that you are, and if you get lost in the light, it's okay, i can see in the dark” and “i can be your lover or your shoulder to cry on, you can be whoever you like” and “nights when one broken glass turns to total collapse, just know this too shall pass i'm tellin' you now” and “it's okay, 'cause you're not alone, you can hide, you will love, you'll have your days in the sun” it just makes me think, has an artist ever been able to hold my hand through music like niall horan has? three albums and counting and there’s just so much music and love filled lyrics dedicated to being a friend to whoever is on the other side and isn’t that what music is all about? these little songs that have taken home in my heart. i’m so grateful for niall horan i don’t say it enough!

[crossbackpoke-check]

Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today [abridged], Jess Zimmerman

part one | part two

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

uh oh the post-psych mood crash

[nisuna]

Need more yuuji smut!!

So hear me out-

bestfriend!yuuji finding your depressed ass in the park while it's raining and you're soaked. So he takes you home and take care of you and puts you to sleep in jis clothes.

Then wakes you up by eating you out and then .. you know.. the rest of the stuff

Holy shit am I in my angst era? 😭 Yuji is 100% my comfort character, so this was very nice to write. He's so boyfriend oml I love him so much<3 I don't even care if this does well or not. I really needed this, tysm for the idea!!<3

⚠️ If you or anyone you know struggles with their mental health or has thoughts like these, please look up your local s*uic*de prevention hotlines. Everybody deserves to get help, and everyone deserves to live. It might not always be as easy as in my little story, but please look after yourselves, I love you all so much and thank you all for all of the love and support🫶🏻 As someone who's been struggling with their mental health ever since their early teens I can say that I definitely can't speak for everyone on this matter, but maybe some will find comfort and familiarity in this

TW: angst, s*icid*l ideation, mentions of declining mental health, hurt and comfort, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, cream pie, body worship, nipple play, body appreciation, mating press, confession, a lot of crying, this is so dear to my heart, supportive!bff!yuji

~2,8k words~

<3masterlist<3

--------mature themes ;strictly 18+ MDNI-----------

Everything has been fucked lately. Your job sucks, school isn't going great, your social life is almost nonexistent, your family is a mess and you just want some peace and calm. You've been home constantly, but you just can't stand it anymore, which is exactly why you went outside for some fresh air. And as if the universe was giving you the middle finger as well, it started raining. But you just couldn't be bothered anymore. Life sucks and your mental health is declining. So you don't even flinch at the rain hitting your lowered head. You don't care that your clothes are soaked at this point. You just sit there and take it. You've been sitting here for what feels like hours. There has been multiple nosy on lookers that passed by mumbling. Some of them showed concern, but some of them were threw disgusted looks at you and assumed you're some kind of junkie that's loitering around in their peaceful park. You couldn't care less, nobody was actually brave enough to approach you anyway, so you let them talk.

It's getting cold, but you can't bring yourself to move. You're soaked and it's getting dark, but you feel like you have nowhere to go. You're starting to feel numb, your hands and feet are cold and you almost can't feel them anymore. This is actually quite nice, you're neither sad nor mad, you feel empty, but it's not uncomfortable like it usually is. You feel calm, you're not worried. You think that freezing to d*ath might actually be a good way to go. It would be like falling asleep without having to ever wake up again. For the first time in weeks you felt yourself smile. You've made up your mind, nobody will miss you anyway so why bother. But as you were about to lie down, you heard a familiar voice screaming your name.

"What the hell-", you thought to yourself as you sat back up and looked around. You didn't have to wait long before seeing a familiar figure run towards you.

"Y/N!!! Where are-? Oh my god there you are. I looked everywhere for you. What are you doing?", he reached out to grab your shoulders, only for you to flinch away.

"Yuji, what are you doing here?"

"Well, you weren't picking up my calls and I got worried." When you didn't give him an answer, he continued, "Are you alright? Whoa you're soaked and my god you're ice cold c'mon let's get you home. I don't want you to get sick.", he grabbed your hand, trying to get you off that bench. But you didn't budge.

"Y/N? What's wrong c'mon let's go-"

"No, I'm fine, really. Just leave me be."

"What are you even saying? How could I? You are in no condition to be left alone. It's freezing and you're soaked c'mon let's go home-"

"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE GODDAMN IT!", you screamed and felt tears leave your eyes. Shit. When you reached up to wipe away at your eyes, Yuji stopped you and wiped your tears with his sleeve instead.

"Y/N I don't know what's going on, but please let me help.", he knelt down, squeezing your trembling hands and giving you a warm smile.

"Why do you care so much?", that came out way too wobbly for your liking.

"Why do I care? Y/N, you're my best friend of course I care. How could I not? Look at you."

You were at a loss of words, so he continued. "Is it okay if I touch you more?" Nod. As soon as you gave him the okay he pulled you into a tight hug. It took you a bit to relax, but you eventually gave in and let your emotions run wild. You were shaking, crying loudly in his embrace. All the built-up tension of the past weeks came flooding out, but he was there to catch you. He held you close as you let go. He didn't say a word until you calmed down a bit.

He pulled away to take a look at your puffy face. "Let's go over to mine, hm? What do you say?"

"Fuck it.", you thought as you nodded and got up.

"Want me to carry you?"

"No, that's embarassing. I can walk alright.", you huffed.

"Don't worry, it's late. Nobody will see."

"Okay."

After he wrapped you up in his jacket, you got on his back and let him carry you to his apartment. He's so warm and smells really good. You subconsciously nuzzled your face closer to him. Falling asleep like this would be way nicer than alone. You thought of that as you closed your eyes and hugged him tighter.

Luckily, he only lived a couple blocks away from the park. He was gentle when he set you down as soon as you arrived.

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it.", there it was again, his sweet smile. "You should go take a bath before you get sick. I'll lend you some of my clothes." Nod.

------

You felt like a new human being after the warm bath. His clothes were also warm and smelled like him. It was oddly comforting. Has he always smelled this good? Your thoughts were interrupted by a soft voice.

"Oh wow, you look better already.", he grinned.

"Yeah", you cracked a smile back at him, "I do feel a lot better. Thanks a lot."

"Of course! Now, what do you want to eat, you must be starving? How long were you out there anyway?"

"All day actually...", you confessed.

His shocked expression made you giggle as he pushed you into his kitchen.

After a good meal he said you could go sleep in his bed. He'd sleep on the couch tonight. But you stopped him. "I don't want to be alone. Can you sleep with me tonight."

"Sure, I thought you needed some space and didn't want to make you uncomfortable."

"Can we cuddle too?"

"We can do whatever you need."

That's how you found yourself back in his arms for the nth time today. The atmosphere was calm, as you were exchanging occasional remarks while watching something. You don't know what overcame you, but you just felt so safe and taken care of that you leaned in for a kiss. However, you quickly pulled away when you felt him stiffen up and not kiss you back.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. God, I'm so stupid. You probably hated that. Shit, please don't hate me-"

"No, please calm down, it's alright. It's not that I don't like this. It's just..."

"Just what?"

"You're in a very fragile state right now. I don't want you to do something you might regret."

"But I'm sure, I really want this-"

"Sleep it over. Just one night and if you still feel like it tomorrow I'm down. I'm here for you. We can cuddle all you want, though. I just don't want to take advantage of you."

You shot him your biggest pity pout and when that didn't work you gave in. "Alright, alright, I guessss.", you huffed and fell into his embrace. Both of you didn't talk much after that, there was a bit of tension, but you didn't act on it. When you finally drifted off to sleep it was enveloped in his warmth and smell.

You haven't slept this well in a long time. And you definitely haven't been woken up this nicely in a long time, either.

After such a good night's sleep you didn't expect to wake up to your best friend between your thighs, lapping away at your pussy.

"Hi, good morning", he rasped, morning voice heavy. "You just looked so cute wiggling around in my arms and when I checked you were already so wet down there. Sorry, I couldn't resist.", he said while softly kissing up your thigh.

"It's alright, let me wake up first, though ah-", you couldn't finish your sentence, because your head snapped back with a moan, as he dove back between your legs.

"Sorry, but I need this just as bad as you do. You taste so good. God, I've been missing out on this this whole time? Just lay back and let me take care of you."

You couldn't say no. Not that you were able to say anything at all with his skillful tongue and fingers working your cunt open. He made you a whimpering and sensitive mess in a matter of a few seconds.

"Shit, how are you so good?", you let out a drawn-out moan, but didn't get an answer from him. His actions spoke instead of him, as he had you cumming on his tongue soon after. Once he licked you clean he slotted his body between your legs and kissed you nice and deep.

"Mmh", you moaned against his lips, tasting yourself on his tongue.

"Tastes good, right?", he grinned.

"Shut up", you playfully hit his chest, grinnig right back at him.

"Alright, my turn.", you smiled, trying to get him to lie down only to be pushed back, as he got on top of you again.

"Nope."

"Hey! Not fair, I wanna taste you, too.", you pouted at him.

"Maybe next time. Today's all about you, I don't want you to lift a single finger. As I said, lay back and let me take care of you."

That was an offer you definitely couldn't refuse. So you gave him a nod and waited for his next move. His next move was a very welcome one, as he finally rid him himself of his shirt. You always knew he was well built from years in the gym and other sports. But seeing him like that up close made you gush. His front was mouth watering, and his arms were to die for. He was huge. You would've rubbed your legs together to ease your pain if he wasn't keeping your legs open with his body between them. You didn't even notice you were staring until he spoke up.

"You're practically drooling."

"Fuck, sorry.", you shrieked looking away.

"Don't sweat it. Oogle me all you want, I dig it.", he smiled, pulling your face back in his direction.

"Can I touch you?"

"What kind of question is that? Go for it!"

His skin's so soft, but the ripples of his abs and chest are brick hard. He let you explore his body before grabbing your hand and giving it a gentle kiss.

"My turn.", he whispered against your fingers before pulling your shirt up and exposing your tits. Your nipples were already hard from all of the stimulation earlier.

"Fuck, they're so pretty.", he whispered, grabbing one in each hand and giving them a hard squeeze.

"Shit.", you moaned, back arching off the bed and pussy rubbing against his hard cock. To make matters worse, he leaned down, licking a thick stripe up your neck and pinching your aching nipples between his fingers.

"Off. Now.", he demanded, already helping you pull the shirt over your head. You were finally fully exposed and he ate it right up. He leaned back down, taking one of your nipples in his mouth and massaging your other breast. He made sure to pay equal attention to both. It felt really good, but you were getting impatient, already grinding against his hard crotch.

"Yuuji~~", you moaned at a particularly hard suck. "Don't tease. Pleasee, I need you.", you whined.

"Shit, sorry I got distracted. Wait here, I'm gonna go get the condoms."

Before he could leave you, you stopped him.

"No, wait, please don't. I want to feel you.", you said, already digging your nails in his arms at the mere thought of doing it raw.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive.", you smiled reassuringly.

"Fuck, alright. Got it.", he swore and rid himself of his boxers.

Once again you were staring. He was bigger than you thought. You definitely couldn't wait any longer. You needed him inside of you immediately.

He didn't make you wait long before he started to slowly bottom out. Your moans grew embarassingly louder with each inch that filled you up.

"Shit, you're so tight. Please loosen up, you're gonna kill me."

"Sorry, it just feels so good.", you mewled back arching and pressing your soft tits against his hard chest. "Kiss me, please~~" He immediately obliged, crashing his mouth against yours. It was so raw and messy when your tongues kept mashing together, but it just felt so right.

"I'm gonna start moving now. I'm gonna fuck you so good."

You nodded and pleaded. Your wish was his command, so he finally picked up his pace. And god, was he good with his hips. With each thrust and shift of your legs, he kept hitting you deeper and deeper until you practically saw stars. It's so cliché, but you felt like you were in heaven.

Your nails kept grazing his broad back and shoulders, but you didn't want to hurt him, so you held back. As if he had read your mind, he leaned down and whispered against your ear.

"Do it. Mark me up, it doesn't hurt. Please don't hold back."

So you didn't hold back anymore. You let your emotions run wild, exploring his body with your hands. Shyness long forgotten, as you left long red streaks all over his back, occasionally pulling him down for a kiss.

The world stood still. You never noticed before, but he has always been there for you. He was the only person that you ever felt loved by. How had you never noticed. Even if you two never said it out loud before, you loved each other. It had to be love. You felt overwhealmed as his fingers slipped between your bodies and started rubbing thick circles in your sensitive clit. Your breath hitched as the words you kept secret for far too long came tumbling out.

"I love you, Yuji. I love you so much, thank you for always taking care of me. I only have you in my life. Thank you, thank you, thank you so much. Please never leave me, I need you."

If he was taken aback by your words, he didn't show it. He just pressed his lips against yours and kept rubbing and moving his hips until you came undone. And as you were moaning and arching your back, he finally answered.

"I love you, too. So, so much. I always have. I promise I will never leave. No matter what happens, I got you. Forever.", that's when the dams broke down and tears were spilling from your eyes. You just hugged him close and thanked him.

Not long after, he was reaching his limit as well. So he hoisted your legs over his shoulders and pounded away until he filled you up to the brim. All the while he was kissing your tears away and saying how good you were for him and how well you did.

When his hips finally came to a halt, he gently put your legs down and kissed you again. He was gentle when he pulled out and you winced as you felt his cum drip out of you and onto his sheets.

Immediately after, he pulled you close, hugging you like he was about to lose you and you were able to calm down a bit. But the bad thoughts came back as you whispered against his skin.

"Today was so stressful and you must've been worried sick. What if I have another breakdown. I don't want to be a burden. I don't want to stress you out. I don't want to break your heart if anything happens to me."

"Y/N, look at me.", he begged, hands on your cheeks.

You finally looked back up at him, tears stinging your eyes.

"You're not a burden.", he whispered, giving your forehead a gentle kiss. "I will protect you forever. For as long as I live, I will always be here to catch you. No matter what happens. You're not alone anymore. You don't have to endure everything silently and on your own. I promise, things will get better. I will be here each step of the way. I love you so much, so please don't leave me."

You wanted to believe him, you wanted to get better. Maybe you finally could with his help. It's a big gamble, but you're gonna bet all of your cards on this relationship. After a long pause, you gave him a silent nod and burried your face in his chest, all while he was gently patting and kissing your head.

Life and everyone else might be shit, but at least you got him now. He was worth living for.

--------

If you read this far, thank you so much<3 I hope I can make some lighter and happier content soon, but I'm on a roll right now *sigh* Please stay healthy and look after yourselves, mwah

Hope to see you all very soon<3

[l5byrinth]

slut!

“in a world of boys, he's a gentleman.”

pairing: finnick odair x reader

summary: in which finnick takes care of you after you survive a blood rain. aka finnick being an absolute gentleman ;)

warnings: idrk maybe thoughts of not surviving, fluff, lmk if i should add more, non-edited

requested!

a/n: this sucks i’m so sorry anon but i loved your request and hope you like how i brought your idea to life 🩵 also i listened to slut! on repeat when writing this so that’s why i associated it with that song 😝

MILLIONS of thoughts raced through your head, as you tried to walk as carefully and quietly as you could. You couldn’t believe you lost your allies - which included one of your closest friends - within the first few hours. Your chances of survival plummeted, and you hated yourself for foolishly wandering off.

The jungle was silent, apart from the birds chirping occasionally, and normally it would bring you comfort. But now, as you were reliving the same nightmare you had a few years ago, it wasn’t much of a comfort at all. Usually, the jungle and the water would be your number one place to escape to. To ease your mind. But now, walking around in the jungle meant life or death.

Something fell on your shoulder, making you stop in your tracks. You looked up at the sky, but saw nothing strange or unfamiliar. You scanned the trees thoroughly just to be sure no one was hanging in there, before slowly and cautiously continuing your journey. But then you felt something drop on your face. You wiped it away with your index finger and looked at it, red substance staining your finger.

With furrowed eyebrows, you inspected it—resembling blood.

You looked up at the sky, confused as to where this might come from. But before you could even register what was happening, the red substance started pouring from the sky.

Your vision was entirely blurred because of the substance you assumed was blood, and there was nothing you could do. All you could think about was Finnick, who you had grown feelings for during the years you had known him. The thought of him was the only thing making the situation look less unpleasant than it was.

You were close to giving up, when you heard a scream of your name. Even though you could hardly see, you moved from your place, looking around. Another scream of your name and you followed it, screaming for Finnick, whose voice you had recognised.

Warmth filled your heart. There it was again, that little hope Finnick always gave no matter the situation.

You got closer, his voice getting louder every time he called for you, “Finnick?!” But it was like he couldn’t hear you. You got so close, you were sure you were close enough for him to hear you. But when you wanted to take another step, there was this force withholding you from doing so. You put your hand on the force as it was still pouring and fear took over you once again.

But that was when you saw Finnick, looking around worriedly, his trident in his hand. You yelled for his name, banging against the force, a cry for help escaping your lips. And when Finnick spotted you, his face relaxed at the sight of you. He ran over without a doubt, but ran straight into the force. Finnick fell backwards to the ground, and all you could do was watch him get up with confusion. It seemed to hit him now that blood was pouring on you like there was no tomorrow.

You could see him say something, but you couldn’t hear him anymore. A tear fell down your cheek, but it was almost unnoticeable because of the blood pouring from the sky. But Finnick noticed everything you did and didn’t do, and he put his hand on the force. “You will be okay.” He said, trying to convince himself more than he was trying to convince you.

Even when you didn’t hear him, you knew exactly what he was saying and you nodded. You rested your forehead on the force, as he followed your action. With your foreheads almost leaning against each other, you waited until it all was over. It killed you how you couldn’t touch him right now. He was so close, yet so far away.

And when you thought it would never end, the one thing that separated you from Finnick, and the rain, disappeared. Before you knew it, you had fallen into his arms, and he was holding you as tight as he could. “I thought I had lost you.” The tremble in his voice made a lump form in your throat. You tightened the hug, never ever wanting to let go of him.

Soon enough, Peeta and Katniss came running. While panting heavily, they released a sigh of relief, glad to see you were okay. “Finally found you.” Katniss spoke. She rested her hand on her hip, as she gave you a small smile, glad you were okay.

After giving you time to recover - which you actually didn’t at all - you and your allies headed to the beach. During your entire walk back, Finnick never let you go. One hand always lingered on the small of your back, as the other held your hand tightly. Even when you had made it to the beach, his fingers were intertwined with yours. And if you had to be honest, you enjoyed it more than you initially thought you would.

The first thing you did when you stepped foot on the sand was collapsing onto it, obviously still shaken up about what had happened. Finnick sat down next to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulled you even closer to him. “It’s okay.”

You nodded at his words, before resting you head on his shoulder with a sigh you were holding in for too long. The two of you sat in silence for a while, your fingers intertwined as they rested in your lap, his thumb rubbing the back of your hand soothingly. Butterflies swarmed in your stomach, but the thought of everything going on right now, gave a whole different meaning to the feeling in your stomach. You almost forgot you were in an arena again, and when the realisation hit you, anxiety washed over you.

Finnick seemed to notice this, just like he always did, and he softly whispered your name.

But you ignored him, lost in thought as the breaths you took were heavier than usual. “Hey,” He gently took ahold of your chin, making you look at him softly, “You’re okay.”

The green in his eyes reminded you of the sea, and if it meant looking at them all day, you wouldn’t mind drowning. The hand holding yours, brought your hand up to his lips. You watched with a racing heart as he lovingly kissed your knuckles one for one, holding eye-contact with you through all of it. Peeta and Katniss, who were watching you two from afar, shared a look.

You took in a sharp breath, before telling Finnick, “I should probably clean myself up.” The man in front of you nodded, and got up swiftly. He offered his hand to help you get up.

With his hand in yours, he led you to the water until it was at the height of your legs. Finnick grabbed a bit of water with the palm of his hand and started washing your arm. He removed every single trace of blood on your body, and you closed your eyes as he did so.

At some point you had sat down, your legs crossed over each other as the water reached the height of your neck. Fish boy - as you liked to call him - washed your hair as if he had done it a million times before. He massaged your head in the process, making you relax under his touch. He was gentle with everything he did, as if you were as fragile as an item made of glass. He handled you with such care, it made you feel like you didn’t deserve him at all.

You got up after he was done, and the smile that adorned his face made your heart leap in your chest. “Almost done.” He mumbled, before cleaning your face affectionately, his thumb swiping softly against your skin. You looked at him as he focused on the dirt on your face, his tongue poking out of his mouth in concentration.

“Done,” He whispered, so insanely close to your face, that you could feel his warm breath against your skin. “Thank you, Finnick.” You breathed out, your hands almost instantly grabbing his, as if his hands were magnets. He left a kiss on your forehead, before finally resting his on yours. There was no force keeping you apart anymore.

It was just you and him.

[mermaidgirl30]

✨Always In My Heart✨

Pre-Outbreak! Joel Miller x fem! reader

A/N: I lost my best fur baby today. October would’ve been 3 years since I adopted him. From a stray on the streets to a spoiled house cat. He battled so much. From FIV+ to broken teeth to diabetes and then to cancer. He was the best kitty ever and was my very own first cat, so he was extra special. I wrote a little one-shot to try to express how hard this loss is for me and to try to cope. I miss you, little Biscuit. Mama loves you 🥹 This is for everyone who’s ever felt the loss of losing a beloved pet.

Summary: Losing a pet is never easy, but you’re not alone because Joel is right there with you, keeping you afloat.

Word Count: 1.2k

Tags: Grief, love, soft Joel, losing a pet, angst with comfort, no use y/n, no outbreak au

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

Drip. Drip. Drip.

   The misty rain pelts on your drenched skin, and you’re cold. You’re so very cold. You can feel the chill burrowing down to your shaking, fragile bones like they may break at any moment. 

   Thunder booms through the gloomy sky, lightning flashes in the far distance, and you swear you can hear the faint cry of a lost soul deep in the woods. Can almost hear your favorite meowing coming from the covered grave in front of you…

   The grey clouds completely cover the sun, the pattering rain seems to mourn just like the cold tears that stain your cheeks. You feel lost, broken, just like your heart is. Completely shattered.

   The crunching noise of the shovel meeting the earth is almost too much for you to handle. This is too much. On your knees, fingers curling in the hollow dirt, your jeans ruined from the muddy ground. And you can’t look up, can barely open your swollen eyes as you mourn the loss of your favorite cat who had made you so very happy. 

   He was your entire world.

   You miss him so much. The feel of his long, soft fur. He felt like velvet, smelled like a warm summer’s day, and you miss the way he’d curl up on your shoulder at night, purring with affection and love. You miss his little meows, the ones that would echo down the long hallway. It always was your favorite thing to wake up to.

   But now he’s gone. Faded into the afterlife when the cancer became too much. He was a fighter, the strongest fighter you’ve ever known. But now he’s just a precious memory. 

   And it hurts. God, it hurts.

   Your tears blur your vision, your face buried in your dirt covered palms, fighting the bitter sting of losing your best fur baby. You only had him a few short years. It wasn’t enough time. And now he’s gone…

   The sobs escape your lips, and you’re now a blundering mess on the ground, asking God to just give you one more day. One more day of long cuddles and top of the head kisses. And his slow blinks. The ones he’d give you every single time you told him how much you loved him. 

   You just want him back, but life isn’t fair, and pets don’t get to stay nearly as long as you’d like. Life is cruel, and you wouldn’t wish this awful pain on your worst enemy.

   You shrink against your drenched raincoat, not even caring that your hair is tangled and dripping down your back. You don’t much care for anything right now; all you can feel is the large hole that’s gaping in your broken heart.

   The rain continues to pelt down on your shoulders, your body shaking like you’re stranded in the middle of the Arctic Ocean. The frigid waters are dragging you under, and they’re about to swallow you whole.

   Just when you think the dark depths will win, strong arms encircle your back and envelop you into a warmness that soothes the screaming voices in your head. 

   “Hey. Easy now, sweetheart. Easy.” His thick, deep drawl shrouds you in comfort while big teardrops fall against his dark green flannel. He cradles the back of your head with one hand, the other gently drawing soothing circles down the middle of your back.

   “I… I didn’t get enough time, Joel. It wasn’t enough. I should’ve done more. He could’ve had more days. I didn’t…”

   “Shhhh. S’alright, babygirl. You did more than enough. You gave him the best life he could’ve had. Do you know how lucky he was to find you? You were the best cat mama I’ve ever seen. You loved him so much, and he loved you very much,” he coos, pulling you closer to where you can smell his woodsy cologne and a hint of tobacco wafting off his tongue. 

   He feels like home. He is home.

   “You really think so?” you sputter out, tears breaking over your lash line and falling onto his soft button-up shirt.

   “Look at me,” he says gently, his hand cupping your chin and tilting your face up to look into his soft brown eyes. Eyes that make more tears spill over the edge. He catches them, wiping them off with the pads of his thumbs and softly traces them down your cheeks until you feel warmth flood your insides. “You’re such a brave girl, my love. So very brave. And you were nothin’ but loving with that cat. Even made me fall in love with him, sweetheart.”

   You giggle, your breath shaky and eyes misty. Even when you’re sad, Joel Miller can make the rainy days turn to blue skies. “He loved you, Joel. He followed you everywhere you went in the house. Especially in the mornings when you made your coffee.”

   He laughs and shakes his head, his brown eyes a little teary from the memories. “Yeah, he sure did. And I’m gonna miss him a lot.”

   “Me too,” you squeak out quietly, gripping onto him like he’s your lifeline. 

   He leans forward and traces his plush lips against your forehead, leaving you breathless with the semblance of comfort he leaves on your skin. He’s like a blanket of warmth, and he’s just saturated you in love.

   When he pulls back to look at you, he pushes a wet strand of hair behind the shell of your ear and lingers there on your cheek, sparks radiating through his touch. “I love you, sweet girl. And I know this hurts. It hurts like hell, but you’re so strong and brave. You’ll get through this. It’s gonna take time, but I’m right here to help you through it. You’re gonna be okay, sweetheart. Maybe not today, maybe not next week, but you will be. And I’ll be here through it all with you.”

   A tear slips from the corner of your eye, and then you’re crashing into him, throwing your arms around his broad back as you sniffle into the soft material. “Thank you, Joel. For being here for me. For helping me lay him to rest in our backyard, for loving him as much as you love me.”

   His fingertips brush your skin, and then your head tilts back automatically, knowing what that touch means. He leans in and places a soft, lingering kiss on your lips, the kind you want to melt in, one that tastes like honey and longing and pure comfort. When he breaks the kiss, he places another on the top of your head and pulls you flush to his chest, strong arms enveloping you once more. And it feels like peace, a place you can rest and bring life back inside your worn body.

   Joel brings you to life time and time again. And this time is no different. 

   “‘Course, sweet girl. I’ve got ya, always. I love you,” he whispers, blanketing you in love that only Joel can make you feel. 

   Suddenly, you know you’ll be okay. It might hurt for a bit, but Joel will always be here. Even on your worst days, he keeps showing you that he’ll never leave you struggling. He’ll be here for it all, loving you till the end.

[pyrodolls]

possession (yandere bi-han/sub-zero x reader)

warnings: mentions of blood and murder, bi-han is possessive

summary: yandere bi-han takes care of your shitty ex boyfriend. reader is gender neutral.

a/n: i haven’t written a yandere character in sooo long. i chose bi-han just bc he’s easy to write as a yandere :3 anyways next one i write will be a yandere smoke x reader so stay tuned

bi-han was always possessive over you. the moment he laid eyes on you, he knew you were his. he carefully pretended to be your friend and then court you like a normal person, hiding his true colors.

he knew he would most likely scare you away if he showed his true colors too soon. he had to wait until he knew you’d never leave him. he had to be patient. but he couldn’t hold back anymore after he saw you crying.

“love.. why are you crying?” bi-han asked, gently holding you in his arms.

“it’s just..” you hesitated to tell him, knowing that he doesn’t know about your ex-boyfriend. you haven’t told him yet.

your boyfriend held you, waiting patiently for your answer, and getting ready to comfort you. if someone said something to make you cry, bi-han would rip out their spine and bring it to you. if it was anything else, he would just hold you for hours and not let go.

“my ex. i can’t stop thinking about all the shit he did to me.” you admitted, wiping your tears.

bi-han’s gaze turned cold. “your ex? who is he? what did he do to you?”

his grip on you tightened. he needed to know who it was. so he can teach the bastard a lesson.

he was also jealous of your ex. he got to hold you first, he got to kiss you first, and he got to call you his. but he fucked up by hurting you. bi-han will not let him live with those sins.

you told him all about your ex and what he did to you. you opened up to bi-han about all the trauma you endured because of your ex. and how he was the reason you were hesitant to get in another relationship.

bi-han struggled to stay calm. how dare he hurt you...

he had the audacity to hurt you? you’re so precious. so delicate, like a flower. you were so lucky to have bi-han as a boyfriend. he can protect you. he can hold you and keep you safe from harm.

“where is he?” bi-han asked, but it sounded more like a demand.

“i don’t know? he’s most likely at his house right now. why?” you questioned.

“give me his home location.” bi-han commanded.

you looked up at him in confusion. “huh?”

“don’t make me repeat myself.” bi-han sneered.

startled by his sudden anger, you blurted out your ex’s location. bi-han immediately got up and left to find the bastard and make him pay for what he did.

you couldn't sleep that night. bi-han left and still hadn't came back yet. did something happen to him?

you were worried sick, until you heard rustling and grunting outside. that had to be him, right? nobody else is awake at this time.

you walked outside, barely being able to see anything, but you saw your boyfriend slowly dragging something behind him.

"bi-han? what is that?" you whispered. your boyfriend stopped in his tracks when he heard your voice.

you took a closer look at what he was dragging. it was a dead body... but it was unrecognizable, almost as if it was beat to death. you assumed it was just some random guy the lin kuei killed, until you noticed the clothes. that dead body had your ex-boyfriend's clothes.

"by the gods.. did you kill-"

"he cannot hurt you anymore. he was a fool to put you through pain. i simply taught him a lesson. and now, you can live in peace. with me." bi-han interrupted, as he dropped the body and held you in his bloody arms.

you looked up at him, and he had a terrifying look in his eyes. this man enjoyed beating your ex to death.

"you know i will do anything for you," bi-han continued. "if i must get my hands dirty in your honor, then so be it. you need me, don’t you? without me, more people will target you and damage you. you're welcome, my flower."

he was trying to convince you not to leave him. how could you leave, when he just demonstrated what he is capable of when he is angry?

"i don't know about this, bi-han..." you whispered.

his eyebrows furrowed. "what do you mean? you know i can protect you, so why can't you trust me? if anything were to happen to you... i would tear the world apart. if you dare defy me, then i must teach you a lesson."

you panicked. you didn't want to end up like your ex. "no! i'm not defying you, love."

"good. it pleases me that you and i can live happily together now. nobody can hurt you while i am around. i will not let that happen." bi-han mumbled.

he meant every word he said. he will keep you safe from harm. he would never hurt you, so you must stay with him.

[samcarpentersgirlfriend]

Wes getting attacked (but living) and being comforted by gn reader

found this in the drafts, sorry it took so long </3

summary: above

includes: gn!reader, swearing, maybe some light angst?? (no mention of judy or her death idk pretend it doesn’t happen here if you want to)

word count: 1k

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹

“Wes! Wes! I came as soon as I- Oh my God,”

It’s like seeing your boyfriend laying here all bandaged and bruise makes the situation sickeningly real instead of just some twisted nightmare. “Wes,” is all you can bring yourself to breathe out.

You think you’re going to be sick.

“Hey,” Wes croaks out, and God, he sounds so much worse than he looks - if that’s even possible. His skin is an eeriely translucent, and white and tubes jut out from his body from all sorts of unnatural angles. You can practically feel your heart sink to the floor.

“Oh my God,” you repeat once more, stumbling over to his side. You know you should do more - offer your boyfriend some stupid semblance of comfort and security, but you need a minute to pull yourself together - for both of your sakes. Wes wasn’t exactly frail, and the idea that one day you might see him this vulnerable, this bare, hadn’t ever crossed your mind.

You reach out to cup his face, running a finger over his cheek tentatively. It’s one of the only places you can touch, one of the only that isn’t dressed or stitched up somehow. Wes leans into the touch as his eyes flicker closed, letting out a pained sigh.

“What happened?” You urge, voice barely above a whisper. It can’t be any worst than the nightmarish images you’ve conjured up in your mind - visions of your boyfriend screaming for help, a knife tearing through his beautiful skin like paper as he bleeds out all alone.

“Fucking Ghostface,” he breathes out, attempting a hollow laugh but wincing when the effort is evidently too painful for him. “He got in the house, took me by surprise. I tried to fight him off but he was stronger than me. I coul- I couldn’t-“

Telltale tears well in his eyes, and you notice the way he attempts to rapidly blink them away.

“Hey, it’s okay. I got you.” You clasp his fingers in yours as you press a soft kiss to his temple, and that’s all it takes for Wes to burst into tears. You don’t push him to speak or even stop crying; you simply sit besides him, grasping onto his hand as if it’s a lifeline. God, you feel so damn useless, but what is there for you to do? What do you say to your boyfriend who almost got stabbed to death? How do you even start to fix this?

The two of you sit like that for a while - Wes shaking from the effort of his tears, your hands still interlocked. You can’t help but think just how close you were to loosing him- loosing all of this. How you’d never see that stupid grin and bleach blonde hair ever again. How you’d be forced to live, expected to go on in darkness after the blinding light that was Wes had flickered out. It’s enough to make you want to scream.

But you can’t. Not now. And not in front of Wes.

“I’m sorry,” he says, low and strained. His red eyes meet yours, and all of a sudden, you’re angry. Angrier than you think you’ve ever felt before. Not at Wes - never at Wes - but just at how damn unfair this all is. Why was Wes - your Wes- falling apart and barely alive when the monster who did this to him was still out there? How was it fair that he feels like he has to apologise for you for daring to cry about almost dying?

“No,” you say, trying to keep your voice steady. Your ire must seep deep into your tone though, because Wes glances back up at you before turning his head away once more. Gently, you turn his chin so his eyes are back on you, and you repeat yourself again - this time, much more softly.

“No. Don’t you dare apologise, you hear me? You’ve got nothing to be sorry about. And I’m not angry at you, baby. It’s just-“ you sigh before you speak again. “It’s just that… I hate whoever did this to you. When we find out who it is, I swear, I’m gonna fucking kill them myself. “

Wes smiles. “Didn’t know I had my own personal bodyguard.” The fact that he still has the ability to crack jokes after all that’s happened, you realise, makes you want to smile and sob - preferably at the same time. Wes really is the most resilient person you know, but goddamn it, he shouldn’t have to be.

“I wish I was your body guard,” you reply, lips quirked upwards. “Then I could be with you all the time. Means you wouldn’t have been by yourself when it happened.”

At that, Wes’s gaze snaps up, all traces of his grin gone in an instant. “And have you lying here next to me - fuck, instead of me? Have you dead? No way in hell.” His tone leaves no room for argument, so you you simply keep quiet. Neither you nor Wes speak, the two of you presumably both lost in your own racing thoughts. It strangely borders on comfortable, and more importantly, it’s enough.

After a while, you shuffle closer to your boyfriend, carefully resting your head in the crook of his neck as he places his head on top of yours. It’s the best thing you can think of right now - you can’t wrap Wes up and tell him everything’s okay because it’s not. None of this is okay.

“I love you,” you murmur into the silence, because you need Wes to know. Need him to know how grateful you are to have him, how grateful you are that he’s alive. Because honestly? You have no idea what you’d do without him - you dread to even think. “And I’ll be here for you every single step of the way. Promise.” You hold out your pinky with the last word - it’s childish, you know that, but after everything, maybe that’s exactly what you need right now.

“Love you too,” he echoes, interlocking his finger with yours before squeezing it tight. “More than you’ll ever know.”

[avocadoguru]

He was staring at her in a way no one had in her entire life. She couldn’t read anything in his eyes - not surprise, not fear, not malicious intent - nothing. (wolfrry, werewolf!harry, alpha!harry, ranger!y/n)

Lupus Noctis- Masterlist, Author’s Note & Warnings

Chapter 10 / alternatively, read on wattpad

Chapter 11 (word count: 8k) -updated July 3rd

Harry had never cared less about appearing vulnerable to someone else. The amount of times Niall had seen him cry and cling to Y/N whilst whispering sweet nothings into her ear was well out of his comfort zone. But it didn’t even occur to him to mind.

It was like no one else existed.

Y/N was all that mattered. Her frail state that he could barely look at the first two days. Niall had told him not to, but he’d climbed next to her in the hospital bed. When he realized his friend was worried for his own injuries and that it would not affect his human, he completely disregarded his admonishments.

And Harry was aware that Niall had saved his life. He was lucky for such a friend as him and he would tell Niall as much once he got his mind in the right place. Once his human was up and talking and smiling again. But until then, he would sit by her side and talk to her, holding her hand and caressing her face, petting her hair. 

His own wounds would heal. He was okay but in pain, as his body had lost an almost fatal amount of blood. But he wasn’t thinking about that. He wasn’t worried about himself. He could endure the pain, the healing. He could endure the aftermath, his anger.

He’d not made his friend’s job easy. Niall had had to operate on him right there, next to Y/N, because he simply would not leave her sight. At Niall’s practice in the city, he set up two beds. One for Harry and one for Y/N. Lester helped aid him as much he could because time was of the essence with Harry. He was aware Y/N was too far gone to save but he did what he could in order to clean her up and close the wounds. Keeping her stable only prolonged the inevitable but Niall wouldn’t live with himself if he didn’t at least try. He knew it was of no use but he could stop her bleeding and get her to safety. That was all he could really offer.

For Harry, though. He was strong and could heal. He’d lost too much blood but he was a werewolf and his body would repair itself at a rate a human’s body would never be able to. So he cleaned and stitched, and stapled Harry’s wounds and broke him the news about his human. 

“No. She’s still alive. That means something. She’s not gone.”

“Harry…” Niall spoke softly and slowly knowing his friend had to hear the truth as awful as it was, “She’s not going to recover. I just want you to be prepared for this. Currently, her heart is still pumping but it’s getting weaker as the hours pass. Her lungs aren’t working and we’ve connected her to a ventilator so she can breathe but that just means her body is unable to function properly.”

He refused to believe she was dying. He was looking right at her, leaning over her body, his hands grasping her limp ones. She was only asleep. She was only unconscious and her body needed time. Just a little more time.

Niall went home every night to sleep in his own bed but he stayed with Harry as long as possible and he always returned the following morning with food for his friend.

He was worried about Harry. Not because of his injury, but because he wasn’t sure if Harry would be okay when Y/N’s body finally gave up. He was sure Harry would lose it. He was worried he’d go and get himself killed. The muttered words, “If she doesn’t come back to me I’m going to kill every fucking person that was involved,” told him as much. Niall was worried he’d lose his best friend.

The more time went on, the more desperate Harry became. While at first he’d just sat next to her bed, he’d ended up crawled next to her by the crack of dawn. If he barely could take in the sight of her at first, he was now scanning every inch of her as if to memorize her better. Barely daring to talk to her at first, he was now whispering right in her ear. Not for fear of being overheard. Again, he couldn’t give less of a fuck about how he appeared to Niall, Lester, or any of the nurses who came in during the night to check on Y/N. But as to be as gentle as possible with her, as to not startle her in her slumber, for he knew she was only asleep. 

He did hope she could hear him. Because he had a lot he wanted to tell her. Things he was desperate to get out, for fear he maybe wouldn’t get the chance to later on.

It wasn’t ideal, this wasn’t how he wanted this to happen. But he couldn’t hold it in any longer. “My love, please come back to me,” he murmured in her ear, not for the first time, not for the last time. “Please, I want to look into your pretty eyes again. Wish I’d told you how much I love your eyes before. I get so lost inside your eyes. Would you believe it? Or would you scoff and look away, thinking I was taking the piss? I don’t think you ever knew how far gone I was. I never showed you what you do to me. Not just my body, but my heart. Was too afraid to. Like a fucking coward. I wish I could take it back, wish I could show you just how much you’ve meant to me all along. Wish I could’ve seen your eyes when I first told you I loved you, no, when I sobbed it, when Niall brought us in and finally left us alone after he poked at my injuries for what felt like hours. It’s not that I didn’t want him to hear, hell, I’ll shout it from the rooftops. Mountain tops. I’ll howl it to the moon. I just… I wanted your ears to hear it first. I love you. You’re my mate. I’ve known from the start. I wish I could’ve told you. I wish there’d been a better way. Wish I’d been braver. Anything. Anything but this. Anything but you in this bed. Anything but you so weak and in pain, and–”

Harry buried his face in the crook of her neck and allowed himself to sob once more. He’d not cried since he was an infant, as children do, but he could physically feel his heart breaking. It was unbearable. If he held onto her tight enough, she couldn’t leave him. Right? 

“Everyone left. My parents. My brother. Don’t leave me too. Not when I finally found you. Not when you finally know. Not when I know that… you love me too… I know you do. Tell me you do, Y/N. Please. Please open those pretty eyes, and move those pouty lips and tell me. I swear I’ll not want for anything ever again. And if you don’t… That’s… that’s ok, too,” he sniffled, pulling away a bit and wiping his tears away from her skin. “Just wake up. If I’m wrong, and you don’t want to see me again, if… if seeing me was too much, is too much… I swear I’ll understand. I’ll do whatever you want, I’ll get lost forever if that’s what you want. Just please… wake up. Please.”

On the morning of day three, Niall came in with bagels and fruit. And it was no surprise when he saw Harry sitting next to her in bed. After assessing the scene and finding that Y/N was still alive he greeted Harry, “Hey, morning.”

Harry turned to look at his friend and ticked his head in a nod before bringing his full attention back to Y/N as he continued speaking in whispers to her. Private confessions. Promises. Declarations. Apologies. Supplications. The sort of things one whispers to a loved one on their deathbed.

“Got bagels and some spreads. Some bananas and melon too. It’ll be over here if you’d like any,” Nialll placed the food on the table he’d been using to eat on next to the window. 

Harry was a little hungry. He hadn’t eaten all that much in the few days since the fight. He hadn’t really been that hungry. But his body was healing well and now it was asking for some sustenance. 

Lifting his head he turned to face Niall, “Yeah. I think I’ll eat,” he stood from his chair and walked to the table selecting his bagel and a packet of butter as Niall watched him closely, “What?”

“Just… I’m glad you’re eating first thing. That’s good news. You’re healing well I think-”

“I don’t give a fuck about me. I know I’m fine. That makes all this so much worse!” He gestured around the room.

Niall nodded, “Yeah. I know. I just mean, for me. You know? You’re my friend. I’m just glad, is all.”

Harry was chewing into the bagel as he nodded, keeping his eyes on his friend. Swallowing down his bite he looked across the room to Y/N then back to Niall, “You’re a great friend, Niall.”

Harry took his usual quick nap once he’d finished eating the bagel. He would stay up all night with his eyes on his mate to watch for anything. He refused to sleep since Niall wasn’t there to check on her. He couldn’t risk being asleep if anything happened to her and no one else could watch over her, even with an overnight nurse present in the practice in the doctor’s absence.

Niall hoped against hope that, somehow, she would wake up. That she would be okay so that his friend would also be okay. He knew it was just about impossible, but if she didn’t wake up Harry would get himself killed by trying to avenge her.

After the last patient had left and Niall was shutting everything down he heard Harry calling for him. Niall took a deep breath, imagining the worst as he turned into the room the pair were in.

But it was the opposite of what Niall had thought. The patient monitor was showing a stronger heartbeat and slightly higher blood pressure. He scratched his head as he looked at the vitals on the screen and immediately pulled his stethoscope over his ears and held her wrist as he placed the chest piece over her heart to check the stats for himself. 

He looked up at Harry who had an expectant, hopeful expression on his face.

But Niall was confused. How? He double-checked her heart rate and swallowed, “I… She’s getting stronger. But I don’t know what this means. Um, I should stay the night. We can take shifts-”

“No. You can sleep if you need to. I’m gonna stay right here with her,” Harry spoke as he looked over his human and took her hand into his, “You’re doing so good, Y/N.”

Niall put on a pot of coffee and continued monitoring her as Harry stayed by her side. But the night didn’t change her status. She still had a stronger heartbeat and that was good. But no improvements were notable by the time Niall laid down to shut his eyes for a bit. His friend was glued to Y/N’s side. 

After Niall had fallen asleep Harry paced the room a bit. His nerves were getting to him. She’d gotten stronger suddenly and Niall was surprised by that. The not knowing what was to come was hard. Harry was used to being in situations where he could pretty well foresee the outcome because he was the one calling the shots. But this was different. Y/N’s life hung in the balance and he had no way of forcing his hand in this. It was up to fate. To chance. 

When the sun slowly drizzled into the room, golden first light hues scattered over her face as Harry sat by her side. Even asleep she was beautiful. Even with a tube in her throat. With a bandage on her neck, scratches on her face. 

“Good morning, Y/N. Sun’s up. Where are you? Are you coming back today, my love?”

Seconds after Harry whispered his words the patient monitor sounded with an alarm and Harry stood up quickly to see what had caused it. Rapidly increased heart rate.

Niall was quick to jump out of bed and take over but before he could pick up his stethoscope she moved. Her neck turned and her brow furrowed and Harry inhaled a sharp breath as he watched his mate come back to life. 

Quickly snapping on his gloves, Niall carefully pulled the tube from her throat, “She’s breathing. Respiratory waveform is active. I may need to reintubate but she’s breathing!”

Harry didn’t know what Niall was talking about but he didn’t care. It was all good news to him. She was moving and wincing as the tube was pulled out. Once it was tossed to the side Y/N began to cough and her scratched throat and trachea sounded like she had laryngitis but Harry was smiling and his heart was pounding in his chest.

“Y/N!” He pulled her hand into his and squeezed as she slowly blinked her eyes open. When her vision cleared and Harry came into sight she startled and yanked her arm away from him, eyes wide and looking around the room. 

The smile fell from Harry’s face at her reaction to him but figured that was deserved. He was just happy she was with him. She was awake. She was alive.

Niall quickly adjusted the settings on the monitor so the alarms would stop and then he looked her over, “Y/N. You’re in my clinic right now. You’re recovering from an injury. Do you know who I am?”

She tried using her vocal cords but winced and coughed, “It’s okay. You don’t need to use your voice right now. You had a tube in your throat and you’ll be a bit sore and uncomfortable for a bit. Just nod or shake your head to answer.”

She nodded slowly and scrunched her face in pain.

“She’s hurting, Niall!” Harry spoke quickly. Her little body was in pain. He could tell.

Niall pulled an IV and inserted the appropriate amount of narcotic to put into her bloodstream to ease her pain, “I know, Harry. One thing at a time, man. She’s just becoming conscious.”

Harry could feel warm tears begin to fill his eyes and blur his vision but now that she was breathing, and looking around the room, he didn’t want her to see him falling apart. Now that she was back he knew he needed to stay strong for her. He quickly exited the room so he could let himself feel the sadness and joy heave from his body. He leaned into the wall and tilted his head back to look upward as he clutched over his pounding heart causing the tears to drip into his ears and on his neck. 

If Harry didn’t need Niall he’d have strangled him then and there when he re-entered the room after collecting himself and seeing Y/N was back asleep. 

“I had to sedate her! She was in too much pain!”

Harry kept it together upon hearing that. “But she will wake up again. Right?!”

“Absolutely. She’s… I can’t believe I’m actually saying this, but she’s on the mend. She’s getting better. It’s only uphill from here, man. Listen, I know you wanted to talk to her… but she was struggling, I could tell. Another round of IVs and she should wake up way smoother next time. Plus, she’s breathing all on her own! Look!”

And Harry was looking. He’d not taken his eyes off of her. Niall had better been right about this, otherwise he’d never forgive himself the mistake of stepping out for the brief moment she was awake. But he didn’t want her to see him fall apart like that. He needed to be strong for her. Needed to reassure her. Brighten her up.

He hoped he hadn’t missed his shot.

*

Niall decided to sleep at the practice again that night, knowing Y/N would probably wake up and he wanted to be there to give her proper medical care and make sure Harry didn’t accidentally smother her back into a coma. He kept that thought to himself, along with his other suspicions regarding her sudden, and quite miraculous recovery, at that.

Instead, he tried distracting his friend who seemed even more impatient for her to wake up than before, “She’s a fighter, your Y/N.”

Harry couldn’t help but smile at that, ungluing his eyes from her frame. He sat on a chair on the side of her bed when Niall was in the room, mostly so he could prod at her freely. 

Niall was very pleased with her vitals. She was almost fully recovered, judging by all her stats. The bloodwork had come back almost impeccable. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say it was a scientific miracle. It kind of was, in a way. But Harry wasn’t questioning it at all. Maybe to him it didn’t seem like such a miracle, with all the pleading he’d been doing for her to get better, it was like all his prayers had been answered. He didn’t have the medical knowledge to grasp the uniqueness of the situation.

“She always has been, you know. Brave little thing.” He told Harry how she had gone looking for him that night and found Niall at his apartment and how he knew she didn’t buy his story about taking over the lease. He’d called Lester the very next morning to tell him that Y/N was concerned about Harry being missing and Lester told him that she was in danger and he was on his way. Lester knew not to trust Harry’s pack. He knew something wasn’t right. He’d been around long enough to know what was what in that world.

“And then Lester said that as he was leaving the house and saying goodbye to Alma, Edward growled and pounced on him to get him to wait and that’s when he shifted back. No one expected it but it happened. So Lester, Alma, and Edward all made the trip together because Edward wanted to help. Then I tried calling her and texting her so I could warn her but by then it was too late. And that’s when I found her apartment door open and her purse left behind.”

Y/N had been smart to go searching for Harry. If she hadn't, Niall might have not known he was missing because it wouldn’t be uncommon for Harry and Niall to go a week or two without talking. And both she and Harry might be dead at that moment if not for Lester and Niall’s intervention. 

Lester’s sway amongst the leaders of the packs was wide-reaching. He threatened to call on reinforcements if Harry’s pack didn’t offer a trial (which they weren’t going to at first). So, as grim as the current outcome had been, it would have been worse if Niall and Lester weren’t there to help.

But it had all started with Y/N. She’d been worried about him, even mad that he’d gone missing, again. 

Eventually, Niall left the room to nap in his office and Harry was once more alone with his little human. Knowing she was definitely going to wake up again now made him focus on how he was going to fix this mess. He wasn’t foolishly assuming she’d forgive him and want him back, even though he did know that she loved him too. He’d seen it in her eyes when he was about to fight that scumbag for his life. 

Be that as it may, he knew that didn’t equate to her wanting him in her life necessarily. What she’d witnessed was hard to accept. What he’d kept from her was hard to come to terms with. And she was fragile now. She needed space, he knew. But he wasn’t going to leave her out of his sight no matter how much she opposed it. He was going to bring her back home and assure her he would give her space, the space she needed to figure things out whilst recovering safely. 

He didn’t trust her alone at her own place. Sure, he’d earned their freedom from the pack but there were still loose ends he needed to trim. Like Irina. Harry hadn’t forgotten about her and her complicity in all of this. She was going to have to pay, too. But that was for later. For now, he was focusing on Y/N and her safety, and he didn’t trust his former pack, especially Irina, not to try and get to them again. They were conniving, double-crossing fiends, and even after earning his freedom fair and square he was still expecting some sort of retaliation. 

His plan was for them to move away for good as soon as she made a full recovery. Granted she still wanted him, of course. He had no plan for the eventuality that she would kick him to the curb. He couldn’t even ponder that option. 

But Lester’s offer was all the more appealing now. And he knew she loved it there on his farm too. Maybe that could be their new home. Anywhere she wanted. As long as they were together.

Just then, he felt her stir, and he climbed off the bed gently and sat on the chair next to her bed. He didn’t want to suffocate her with his proximity. Didn’t want to give her the impression that he was assuming anything. But he still held her hand, he just couldn’t let go. He didn’t need the monitor to feel her heartbeat pick up and know she was waking up, and he saw Niall approach from the corner of his eye, his watch alerting him of the changes on the monitor.

“She might be a little woozy ‘cause of the higher dose of painkillers I gave her. So don’t worry about that.”

Harry nodded and squeezed her hand in his gently, “Y/N? Are you awake, kitten? C’mon. Open those pretty eyes for us.”

And open them she did. Fluttering eyelashes gave way for her lovely irises in which Harry had feared he’d never see his reflection again. 

Both men smiled widely at her compliancy and Niall brought a tall tumbler of water to her lips, “Need to lubricate your throat a bit, Y/N; have a sip, please?”

She looked up at him and gave the faintest of nods, and he took it as his cue to hold the straw steady as she puckered her lips around it and began drinking out of the glass slowly. She winced at first, taking the first few gulps, her throat sore no doubt, but she finished the glass in its entirety which prompted Harry to squeeze her hand once more and coo, “Good girl.”

Her heart rate picked up a bit at that and Niall gave him a sly smile, but Harry was too enthralled watching his little human to notice. She rested her head back against the pillow, the strain in her neck keeping her head up getting to her. Niall fluffed the sides of her pillows a bit to give her even more support and smiled at her, “You’re doing so well, Y/N. You’re recovering beautifully. Would you mind trying to talk to us a bit? I know it’s a bit uncomfortable and your throat must still be sore, but I know someone is dying to hear your voice again.”

Harry kicked his friend in the ankle at that. He had no business putting that kind of pressure on her and Niall got the message loud and clear, but she seemed to miss the interaction altogether and opened up her mouth to try and get some words out. “How…” she frowned at the sound of her own groggy voice, and tried clearing her throat but it came out the same, “How long was I…?”

“A few days. Nothing major. Don’t worry about that. You’ve made a full recovery, so nothing to worry about whatsoever! You still have some scarring that will fade but I guarantee there will be no marks left to tell for them. And of course, you need to build your strength back, but at the pace you’re going, you should be on your feet as soon as tomorrow!”

Harry shot up his eyebrows to Niall’s statement as he watched him prod at her further, making her follow a small light he fished out of his breast pocket and then asking her more questions to assess her reflexes and awareness. Wasn’t that a bit too optimistic? He’d never heard of anyone making such a speedy recovery waking up from a coma. He didn’t want Niall to create false expectations for her.

“In fact, I’m discharging you today!”

Y/N was just as surprised as Harry to hear that she was going to be ok to leave so soon. She had no idea how long she’d been out of it exactly, but she disliked hospitals as much as the next person, so she was glad for it.

“Now… I know this is a sensitive subject, so I’m going to step out and leave you two to it, but I’m going to have to need you to tell me if you want me to send over a nurse to look after you for a day or two at home, or if you’re comfortable with nurse Harry over here,” Niall nudged over to his friend. “There’s really nothing special he needs to do, just make sure you take your meds on time and keep an eye on you, make sure you make no sudden movements, make sure you hydrate and feed yourself properly, you’re still going to need to sleep as much as possible so it’s easy to lose track of all that yourself.”

Y/N made to say something but stammered, trailing off and Niall took it as his cue to leave the room, but not before praising her for her recovery again, “You’re doing great, Y/N. I’m so happy to see you on the mend. Had us worried for a moment there, but you’re a fighter.” 

Harry watched his friend close the door behind him and then turned back to look at his little human and found her eyes already on him. He was still holding her hand, running his thumb over her skin in soft strokes all along, and he took one more look at the sight of her small hand in his before he removed himself in order to give her the space she needed to make the decision.

He looked back at her then and his heart soared at the sight. He didn’t know whether it was the drugs she was on, but the brazen look in her eyes and the way she didn’t shy away from his as she sometimes did had his own heart pounding against his ribcage. For the first time ever, he didn’t know how to approach her. She intimidated him. A feeling so foreign to him. He didn’t think anyone had ever made him look away, stare him down to the point where he had to break eye contact. Surely it was the guilt he felt, he reasoned. 

“Are you alright?” she whispered as to not strain her vocal cords. Her voice sounded more like her old self when she did that, she found.

Again, Harry felt his heartbeat pick up at her concern for him. “I am now. How are you feeling? Are you hurting?”

She shook her head slightly, “I feel fine. It’s like I just woke up from a deep sleep. But I remember the pain…” she winced at the thought, and Harry made to grab her hand in his again but stopped himself just short of.

Instead, she stretched her arm ever so slightly and grazed his hand with the back of her fingers. Both of them watched intently as their fingers intertwined. Harry couldn’t fight the urge to raise their conjoined hands to his lips and kiss hers. “I was so afraid I’d lost you,” he murmured against her soft skin, his brows furrowed and eyes shut tightly.

She understood all the different meanings to his statement and wanted to say the same. But she needed more time. She needed to clear her head a bit. But she also needed him, that she knew for sure. She didn’t want to go home without him. Not after she thought she was going to lose him, herself. No. She wanted him near. “So take me home, nurse Harry.” 

*

Y/N felt exhausted by the time Harry had brought her back to his house. He’d carried her all the way, to and from his car, and she could’ve sworn she felt his heart threatening to break free from his chest as she laid her head atop of it, in his arms. She’d never seen him drive that slow, avoiding every little pothole just so she could be as comfortable as possible for the small journey to his house. She knew they needed to talk and clear the air, but she didn’t have the energy for it quite yet. She was happy he was alive, and she allowed herself to bask in that feeling. 

She’d asked him to run her a bath, the sponge baths the nurses had been apparently giving her had left her sufficiently clean but she felt like she needed to really soak and preferably wash her hair too. Harry wasn’t too sure about that, though. He wanted to give her space, but this could be too dangerous for her still weakened state. He didn’t want to push it and suggest he get into the tub with her, but he told her he’d be standing by the whole time and wash her hair for her, and she agreed to it.

He tried looking away when she undressed, and he even helped her to an extent, but then he reasoned he needed to assess how her bruising and scarring was developing. He was pleasantly surprised to see her skin was barely tainted.

And Y/N was very aware of his eyes on her, on the way his blood quickened in his veins, could almost guarantee he’d stiffened in his pants at the sight of her bare body before him, but she couldn’t act on it as much as her own body was responding to their closeness. She needed time. Her body needed time, too, not just her heart and her mind.

He helped her climb into the tub and sink into the perfectly warm water and Harry sat on the floor next to it and leaned on the margin, looking at her through bubbles, content to have her safe in his presence. Content to know she wasn’t in any pain. He didn’t know how he’d gotten so lucky. It seemed like a miracle that she was awake, let alone able to do all this so rapidly. 

But he didn’t want to tell her how close he’d been to losing her. Didn’t want to tell her how worried Niall had been and adamant she wasn’t going to wake up. Didn’t want to tell her that he’d been prepping himself for losing her for good, telling her all he had weighing heavy on his heart.

They sat in silence, and it was perfect. She was there. She was alive and well. And she’d not told him to get lost. His heart was hopeful.

Eventually, he helped her wash her hair, sitting on the edge of the tub behind her. He was extra gentle, and she hummed deeply at how good it must’ve felt. He was happy he could make her feel better, in any way.

And later, when she let him dress her in one of his shirts to bed, his heart soared. He wanted so badly to kiss her, just a soft peck. Just to be close, and communicate how he felt. But he wouldn’t push it. Her hair was still damp but the look in her eyes had gone soft and hazy, and he knew her energy was running low. He gave her her meds and helped her in bed, and then stood there stupidly, unsure what to do.

“Are you not tired?”

He nodded. He was exhausted. He’d barely slept for all those days, and he was still recuperating himself from fatal injuries. Of course, being a werewolf, his recovery was expedited, but he still felt weak. Above his physical injuries though was his mental exhaustion. He’d worried so much for her that he was now feeling it all catch up to him. 

“Will you hold me, then? I know you’re injured, too, so only if–”

She didn’t even have time to finish that sentence before Harry was undressing and climbing into bed behind her. He’d kept his boxers on- again, boundaries. But he tentatively reached for her soft body and pulled her into his chest, holding her to him.

Her own hands grabbed on to his arm and she nuzzled closer against him as he spooned her, “I just know I couldn’t fall asleep without your scent all around me,” she mumbled, already so close to falling asleep.

He’d not had time to shower himself that day, so hopefully it wasn’t off-putting for her. But he’d get that done in the morning. As well as cook for them, his appetite was growing now that all was well in the world again. And, well, he’d have to do something about the erection he was trying to keep from pressing into her. He was determined to give her the space she needed and that meant keeping his urges at bay. 

He was so happy she was in his arms, he felt like crying from happiness. It was hard refraining from smothering her in his affections when she was right there, pressed against his chest.

“Oh…” she gasped softly. “Is that… are you purring?”

Harry froze and immediately stopped, “‘m sorry, thought you’d fallen asleep…”

“No, no. Don’t stop. I like it. Please keep doing it?”

Harry didn’t even have to force himself to, just hearing her asking him to purr had him doing so naturally. It felt incredible to be able to do so freely, after having to hide it from her for so long. His natural reaction to her proximity when he felt happy and warm and fuzzy. 

She giggled. Harry smiled widely at the feel of her trembling in delight in his arms, and it spurred him further, tightening his arms around her a bit more, still careful not to harm her in any way though. “This feels amazing…” she trailed off, drifting into unconsciousness. Harry agreed wholeheartedly.

*

Harry had woken her up at around 6am to give her her meds, then before she could drift back to sleep he told her he’d be stepping out very briefly in the morning to restock their fridge so he could cook something for them, as promised, making a point out of how he’d be back before she’d even wake up but in case she needed anything, anything at all, she was to call him ASAP. 

But she was feeling fine, in fact, she’d used the bathroom before going back to sleep all on her own, no need for him to help her to the ensuite, she was just very tired still.

So when she woke up later, she didn’t really need to go downstairs and check to know that Harry was not back yet. In fact, he’d probably just left since his scent was still lingering pretty heavily around her. Plus she couldn’t smell any cooking taking place.

Still, just to be sure, she got out of bed and decided to go inspect. She was feeling… surprisingly fresh and reinvigorated. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d woken up so well-rested. She couldn’t believe she’d suffered any injuries, she was feeling fine. More than fine. 

Strange.

But she wasn’t gonna complain about it. She did feel hungry though, so she was hoping Harry would be back soon from grocery shopping and she was determined to convince him to let her help. She had a burst of energy and couldn’t imagine being made to lay in bed for one more day.

She still felt like this house had way too many rooms. Was way too big. Who needed all this space?! She liked it, she really did, but she much preferred the cosiness of her own home. That was probably what was wrong with it, this just felt like a house, not like a home.

It hadn’t been lived in all that long, to be sure. But still. Passing by a spare guest room she suddenly stopped in her tracks.

She furrowed her brows, following the overwhelming scent she was picking up on, coming from that room.

She’d expected it to be a laundry room with the kind of scent she was picking up on, but there were no hampers lying around the room. It all smelled of brand new furniture, except for one specific chest of drawers. 

Approaching it, she reluctantly opened up the uppermost drawer, on a whim. 

Her eyes rounded in shock. She gingerly picked one of the several pairs of panties. Not just any panties, but her very own. Her very own used panties. 

She dropped them back and took a step back, incredulous laughter escaping her lips that she then covered, still in shock. “...Holy shit!”

Maybe she should’ve found it repulsive, she reasoned, but to her dismay she found this was turning her on for some reason. She didn’t know what it was about her discovery, but it awakened something in her, something very… primal. 

But she didn’t really have time to contemplate this when she heard the faint sound of a car door. The huge, semi furnished house must’ve had quite the echo if she could hear him out front when she was on the other side of the house entirely.

Nonetheless, she decided to bring it up later, use it to her advantage somehow, the idea sending a thrill through her body.

For now, she needed to eat. She was truly ravenous. 

She made her way into the kitchen, just in time for Harry to emerge with the groceries. He was being very careful and quiet in his movements, but she noticed him rush to the kitchen after he’d entered the house, almost as if he knew she’d be there.

“What are you doing here!?”

She shrugged, “Waiting for you. I’m hungry, you said you’d be quick.”

Harry didn’t know whether to be annoyed or glad. He was happy she was feeling good enough to get out of bed, happy she was hungry, but he’d told her to take it easy. “I told you to call if you needed something!”

“Why? I knew you were probably on your way back, and I don’t exactly need anything. But you’re letting me help.”

Harry placed the groceries on the island, taking her in. She was quite sassy all of a sudden. Again, there was something about the way she was looking at him. Something was just… different. Like she was challenging him, more than before. She was never the meek and obedient kind, and that’s one of the things he liked about her, but now… she’d amped it up a notch. Or two.

And he liked it.

“Is that so?”

She nodded. “Are we making eggs benedict?”

Harry furrowed his eyebrows, his lips quirking up in a smile. “I am. You’re gonna wait on the couch all snuggled up.”

Y/N frowned, “But I’m tired of lying around! How long was I even out for, I feel like my muscles need a good stretch! Could we go for a swim later? Besides, you went for a jog yourself, don’t be selfish!”

Harry was taking all of this in, trying to process what she was saying. He wasn’t all that familiar with human recovery, but this sounded out of the ordinary, even to him.

“It was just a quick run before I headed out. I’ll have to check with Niall and see if he approves. He told me to make sure you take it easy.”

“Yeah, nurse Harry, I remember. But surely swimming isn’t too strenuous… I just wanna stretch my limbs a bit.”

Harry had a different idea as to how he could help her with that but he kept it to himself. For now. Especially with how he was certain he could smell hints of arousal on her. But he knew he couldn’t dream of pursuing that idea until they had a serious talk about what had happened. And he was waiting for her to initiate that conversation. For now, he had to burn off his pent-up energy by doing things out of character, like jogging. He would’ve skipped it had he known she’d be up so soon. For as long as he’d known her, Y/N had never been a morning person. And now especially, she should’ve been still in bed, recovering. But it was barely 9am and here she was, giving him lip that early in the morning.

“I just don’t know where,” she mumbled while she started unpacking the groceries. “Can’t exactly go back to the preserve…”

Harry furrowed his brows even deeper watching her unpack the groceries. His mind was racing, trying to make sense of it all. “How did you know I was planning on eggs benedict?”

Y/N shrugged, “Guess I had a hunch? Oh, crap. The hollandaise is dripping!”

Harry approached her side to inspect the jar, luckily not much had dribbled down the side of it, “Yeah, I opened it up to check if it was any good otherwise I’d have had to make it from scratch. The lid must’ve unscrewed on the way here…”

Part of him wondered if she’d smelled the sauce, and that’s what had given it away, but there was no way she could smell that tiny bit that had dribbled out of the jar. He could smell it now, of course, being as close as he was to the opened bag, but had he been able to get a whiff of it earlier he’d have secured the lid in place.

Y/N was having a hard time with him so close to her. He smelled delicious, all manly after his jog. She felt like burying her nose into his neck and forgetting all about breakfast. Suddenly she had a different appetite that needed sating. And then there was the tiny detail about him collecting her discarded panties…

No sooner did she finish even thinking about that, that Harry pulled away as if electrocuted and she watched him take a few tentative steps back. “What’s wrong?”

“I just remembered I’m long overdue a shower, I must reek. I’ll be quick, please don’t start without me, alright? Turn on the TV or something, sit.”

She rolled her eyes and watched him rush for the staircase. Fine. She’d wait. 

Harry had not allowed himself any reprieve since this whole nightmare had started. The first good night’s sleep he’d gotten was that very night, with Y/N safe and sound in his arms, in his bed. The jog earlier that morning was meant to help him blow off some steam, but Y/N’s proximity was making it very hard for him to ignore his urges, especially when he most definitely smelled hints of arousal on her.

He was determined to keep it in check for her sake, and aside from the fact that he really did need to shower, quite desperately so, he was also going to jerk off to clear his head a bit.

He came way too fast, and very hard since he’d not released in over a week. He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d gone so long without. Probably not since he’d first masturbated as a teenager, which was saying something. But it left him unsatisfied. He needed more. He huffed his frustration but then heard a loud knock on the ensuite door. He turned the shower off so he could hear her properly, “Y/N? What’s wrong?”

“You tell me! It sounded like you were in pain, are you alright?!” a very distraught Y/N could be heard from the other side. Harry frowned. Surely he hadn’t been that loud when he came. And the water should’ve muffled it. 

“Yeah… yeah, I’m fine.” He quickly grabbed a towel, placing it around his hips and holding it together in his fist as he emerged from the ensuite, taking in the distressed look on her face.

But her look of distress quickly morphed into something else. He could visibly see her eyes darken as she unashamedly scanned him head to toe, her hungry gaze following the path the water droplets were making on their way down his body.

She took a step closer, then, to his surprise. He was already hardening again just taking in her own body’s response to his. And Harry definitely noticed the way her eyes widened when they reached the way he was tenting his towel, even held snug around his hips as it was.

And he could definitely smell her arousal, too. She must’ve been dripping with how potent it was. Harry was in limbo, frozen in place waiting for her to do something, anything. He knew she desperately wanted him, just as much as he wanted her, but he wasn’t going to push her. Not when he knew there was so much to–

His throat went dry immediately when her eyes traveled back up to meet his. Her eyes. It couldn’t be…

“I, uh, I forgot something in the car! Be right back!” he stammered, clutching his towel tightly as he made his way downstairs in a rush, all wet and slippery on the marble floor.

He not only went outside, but surpassed his car parked out front, and instead circled the property all the way to the furthermost corner of the expansive garden. He’d made sure to grab his phone first from the kitchen island where he’d left it, and dialed Niall’s number as soon as he was as far away from the house as he could get, given his state of undress.

An amused voice sounded from the other end when Niall finally picked up, “So… did you figure it out, yet?”

Chapter 12

A/N: (@fkinavocado and @gurugirl here) What do you think this all means for Harry & Y/N? Did you vote correctly?

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[a-998h]

Hello! May I please request romantic headcanons for Charlie, Vaggie, Husk and Lucifer with a fem! S/O who is clingy but is scared that they’re annoying so they tend to back off and be nervous about showing affection? Thank you so much!

TW: MENTIONS OF THE FEAR OF ABANDONMENT & INSECURITY

Charlie and Vaggie with be paired together as a ploy with reader & Reader is the third in Lucifer and Lilith's relationship.

🍎Charlie & Vaggie🦋

🍎🦋 Now, this pair is healthy and open with emotions

🍎🦋 Charlie might have some issues

🍎🦋 Vaggie has a lot of trauma from being an Exorcist

🍎🦋 Together, they make each other better

🍎🦋 When you joined the relationship, everything seemed fine

🍎🦋 Charlie herself is a tad clingy, so neither Charlie nor Vaggie noticed you being clingy

🍎🦋 They only notice when you suddenly stop

🍎🦋 Now, Vaggie isn't good with emotional topics and Charlie will dance around the issue

🍎🦋 So, while the others are busy, Charlie and Vaggie stage an intervention

🍎🦋 They sit you down and have an open and honest conversation with you

🍎🦋 You tell them that you're afraid of driving them away with your clinging

🍎🦋 Charlie hugs and cries with you, swearing that she'd rather give up than abandon you over something like this

🍎🦋 Vaggie joins the hug, reassuring you that her and Charlie won't be leaving you anytime soon

🍎🦋 They help you work through your issues

🍎🦋 Helps you learn to be more open

🍎🦋 Teaches you how to cling in a healthy manner

🍎🦋 Never let's you think you're being annoying

🍎🦋 Gives you extra cheeks kisses if you start to get nervous

🍎🦋 Whenever your fear gets to you, Charlie sets up a pillow fort for the three of you

🍎🦋 Helps you find a balance between clinging and backing off

🍎🦋 Makes sure you know that you clinging is welcome in moderation

Lucifer

🐍 You clung to Lucifer because you love him, and he loves you too

🐍 He never thought of you as annoying, you just seemed to match his energy

🐍 Doesn't notice anything is wrong until you start back off

🐍 He is not the best with emotions, so he has no idea what to do at first

🐍 Sits you down and has an doesn't talk with you

🐍 When he learns you're scared of pushing him away and have insecurities about being the third in the relationship with him and Lilith

🐍 Holds you hand, and reassures you that he and Lilith love you

🐍 Uses some of the things Charlie taught to help you walk through your issues

🐍 He is also a clinger, so you both look for middle ground

🐍 Makes sure you never feel like "the other woman"

🐍 Whenever your fears and insecurities haunt your mind, he shows off his cute rubber ducks

🐍 Reminds you that he loves you by gifting you rubber duckies

🐍 Makes sure you never feel like you're not an equal in the relationship

🐍 If you ever get to clingy, he'll help you reasonably back off

🐍 Makes sure you know that you're loved

🐍 You two cry over Lilith being gone

🐍 Gifts you a rubber duck version of him, Lilith, and you

🐍 He thinks that if you have those you'll never question how loved you are

🐍 Will cling onto you himself, so you both need work

Husk

🃏 His own issues make him not that open to affection

🃏 When you too get together, he is a little annoyed by your clinging

🃏 When you slowly become less affectionate he raises an eyebrow

🃏 At the hotel bar, you two have a conversation

🃏 At first, he feels bad, thinking he might be the reason you've become less affectionate

🃏 He explains his side, and is tactful is the way he does

🃏 After that conversation, you two slowly start to get better

🃏 Husk learns to be a tad more open, and letting you know that you're affection is welcome in small doses

🃏 Helps you walk through what is the right amount of backing off and clinging is

🃏 Whenever you get scared that he'll leave you, he rolls his eyes and says "Do you really think I'm that fucking stupid?"

🃏 He is blunt and clear when he lets you know he'd have to be dumb to leave you over something that could be worked through

🃏 Shows you a few magic tricks to take your mind off your fears

🃏 While he is cold, he makes sure you know that under that she'll is a man who loves you

🃏 Never lets Alastor come between you two

🃏 Might go to Charlie for help if he doesn't no what to do with emotions

🃏 Might not the best at handling emotions, but he will learn for you

🃏 Whenever you bring up your fears of being abandoned, he'll offer you a drink

🃏 Makes you special drinks as his way of showing affection

🃏 Hopes Angel can get you confidence up

🃏 While not as clingy as you, Husk is still affectionate

🃏 I think Husk can purr, so when you're down and clingy he'll purr while hugging you

🃏 Uses his wings and tail to cuddle you

🃏 Lets you play with his wings and ears

🃏 Slowly welcomes your clingling with a grin

[romanestuffsposts]

Coul you do one were the reader got pushed? Or like some guy pushed the reader and her daddies saw it and were overprotective

Hi there love! 💜

Of course I can! Thank you for being so patient toward me, I know it was long and I apologise deeply for that!

I hope you like how i wrote it <3

Enjoy <33

*****

Warnings : little reader being pushed, tickle to cheer up, reassurance, apologies, fear, angry Daddies,

Pairings : Daddies!Stucky ; Daddy!Bucky x Papa!Steve x Little!Reader

Summary : a mean guy push you away at the mall. Lucky for you, your Daddies were here for you

*****

It was a really hard day today. You absolutely needed to go to the mall with your Daddies because it’s winter and your clothes are not warm enough for the season.

It was the only schedule you all had free so it was now or never. There were reductions so it was the perfect moment to go shopping now.

But your Daddies didn’t thought there would be that many people at the mall that night.

You couldn’t see at two meters Infront of you because of the crowd in the stores. It really scared you and the idea of losing your Daddies in there scared you even more. You always had a piece of their clothes or their hands in yours.

But sadly you couldn’t be holding onto them all the times… you were attracted by a shop window where there were drawings stuff and books for kids.

You love going in store like this and just wondering around, eying everything that’s around you.

Your Daddies were behind you and kept an eye on you but they let you enjoying the view alone, which was a mistake..

A man was standing beside you, looking inside the window just like you. Only you can see from the corner of your eyes that he’s moving toward you while keeping his eyes on the toys.

You were about to move so he could walks past you but something caught your eyes and you forgot everything else.

A new set of drawing pens was exposed in front of you and your eyes sparkled with stars.

You forgot about the crowd and the man beside you, that until you feel his hand on your shoulder and then your butt hitting the ground.

You were too shocked to do anything. You stare down at you and wonder how the hell you ended up there. You quickly feel the tears coming in your eyes because the pain is only felt after the fall.

Your Papa is running toward you and is quick to pull you on his laps. He pulls your face in his neck and gently stroke your back ‘’shhh baby, you’re okay, you’re perfectly fine’’ he tries to reassure you so you don’t cry.

At the same time, your Daddy grabs the man and pulls him against the wall, his forearm against his throat and a murderous look in his eyes.

Your Papa keeps talking your so you don’t hear what is happening ‘’you fell but you’re fine, nothing is broken’’ he kisses your temple.

You sniff and look up at him through teary eyes ‘´you sure’’ your sweet and quiet voice asks.

You Papa tilts his head ‘’we can check if you want but I’m pretty sure nothing is broke’’

You nod your head because you really want to be sure. Little tears are falling down your cheeks because it really start to hurt.

You watch him touching your arm first ‘’does it hurt ?’’ He asks. You shake your head. He rolls it a little so you can feel that nothing is broken.

He does the same with your other arm and then your legs. He then looks at you ‘’do you feel better ?’’ He asks pulling your hair behind your ears.

You pout and hide your face in his neck again, he gently chuckles at how adorable you are ‘’I should probably keep checking, don’t you think ?’’

You nod your head and feel him grabbing your wrist, he lifts it up and as you thought he was checking your shoulder, his fingers fall in your ribs and wiggle his way in between the bones.

You flinch and fall more in his arms as you squirm, laughing loudly ‘’ maybe a bone in there isn’t doing good. I think I should keep checking, no ?’’ He teases.

You shake your head and grab his hands so he would stop tickling you ‘’notin’ broke’’ you say, a left over of giggle leaving your lips after the words.

Your Papa laughs and nod his head ‘’alright then, everything is fine. Nothing is hurt’’ he kisses your little nose ‘’your butt can be sore again for a little but it will go away very soon’’

You nod and close your eyes when his forehead fall against yours.

Someone clears his throat beside you causing you to look in that direction. When your Papa sees the man held by your Daddy at the neck, he stands up with and lifts you in his arms.

You rest your cheek against his shoulder and look at the man. Your Daddy squeezes his neck causing the man to grimace. But after that, he starts talking.

‘’I wanted to apologise to you’’ he says with a weak voice ‘’I shouldn’t have pushed you away. I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t hurt you’’

You can’t see it but your Daddies know how fake his apologies were. But before they can say anything, you talk ‘´is Oki, I no hurt. Papa checked’’

Your Papa smiles down at you and kisses the top of your head ‘’that’s right, I checked and he’s lucky that you have nothing’’ he smiles down at you, but his voice a little bit harsher so the man really know how lucky he is.

Your Daddy pulls his ear to his mouth and say something that you can’t hear before shoving the guy away. This one almost fall on the ground but is quick to run away once he found back his balance.

Your Daddy comes to you and takes you in his arms ‘’ how are you feeling my precious little one’’ he asks, worried. ‘I fine’’ you whispers and wrap your arms around his neck and his your face in his neck ‘’but I tired’’ you mumble

‘’I Know baby doll, I know. We’ll go home now, it’s enough for today’’ he kisses your temple.

‘’Please tell me you didn’t just shove him away without being able to find him back’’ your Papa quietly asks so you don’t hear.

‘’I’m not stupid Steve’´ he show him his phone where a little blue bubble is seen

‘´Good’’

[writersmess]

I DON’T KNOW HOW | EVAN BUCKLEY

Pairing: Evan Buckley x fem!reader

Summary: After an exhausting shift, Buck decided to expose all the fears he had kept in his heart for so long.

Warning: a bit angst, some crying, fluff.

Word count: 0.9k

a/n: hey there my sweeties, here I am again. This came to me while i was listening to a song, and i couldn't stop thinking about our precious boy. english is not my first language, so im sorry if there’s any mistakes. hope you enjoy it.

Masterlist

................................

No one could ever understand the mess that was inside that heart. How many times he was left behind, he couldn’t even count. His heart bled, it ached. He wanted to love, he was willing to love someone, to care for someone, to settle down and start a family. Buck was desperate for that. But suddenly he was left and they’re all gone, because no one saw him as the one, but as the one they could call when they needed some fun.

He was not seen as the one who was responsible, or the man of someone’s dreams. That man that someone would imagined a future with. And he accepted it. He accepted that nobody would look at him and imagine him as the father of their children, that nobody would look at him and think about the beautiful life they would have. He accepted his destiny. He accepted that he was broken.

And if brokenness is a work of art, surely this must be his masterpiece.

He stopped looking.

Until he found you.

But the fireman’s heart was already so wounded, so guarded. He couldn’t just let you in. But you easily found a way in. And you loved him. And imagined a future with him. And you imagined your children together. And suddenly you were everything he’d ever wanted, everything he’d ever dreamed of.

After leaving work early, you decided to go to Buck’s house to make some home-cooked food, so that when he came home from another turbulent shift, he could enjoy some fresh food and rest. By your side.

He definitely did not expect all this when he came home destroyed from an extremely heavy shift, a shift with some losses. He was so tired.

You understood this, you knew how hard it was sometimes, and you accepted it when even after thanking you so much, he spent the whole night quiet, trapped inside his own head, his own thoughts.

You were sitting side by side on the couch watching a movie. At least you were, buck was traveling in his thoughts, again.

“baby, is there something bothering you besides your work” you paused the movie when you realized he wasn’t paying attention, and sat down on your side, looking at him with that loving gaze that you had. You were so perfect.

You were surprised when you noticed some tears falling down Buck’s face but decided not to say anything when you realized that he was trying to say something and couldn’t, he was trying to find the right words.

“i wanna tell you but i don’t know how” your heart missed a beat at that moment. What could have happened? Did he want to break up with you?

“i wish I could tell you how much of a mess I am, how everything inside me always hurts and I can’t make it stop. How broken I am and how afraid I am. Because I wake up every morning waiting for you to realize how worthless I am and decide to leave.”

“baby i-“

“And every single moment that I share with you is unique. Because no one has ever been willing to live it with me. But I don’t know how, every second that I am with you, I keep waiting that they will become just memories, memories once again so painful. Memories of a life that I could have had, but I didn’t” you could see how painful this was to him, and you just stayed still, waiting for him to say everything that he wanted to “and I want to love you for a lifetime, I want to give you my heart completely, but I don't know how. I want to truly love you, but I don't know how. Because all the times that I did it, that I loved, a piece of me has been torn away and taken away along with them”

You had never seen Buck fall apart like this, and you could see how vulnerable he really was. And not this indestructible man he showed himself to be all the time. You knew how much he had hurt from past relationships, you just didn’t realize it hurt this much.

But you wouldn’t go anywhere.

You wanted to stay by his side for the rest of your life, because despite all the things he said, you had never felt so loved before, so cared for.

Buck was sobbing, and all you did at that moment was hold him in your arms. You put all your love and care into that hug. You were willing to face everything, all his monsters, all the pain, in order to mend that broken heart and make him happy, as he truly deserved to be. You waited until he calmed down and held his face tenderly, making him stare at you with red eyes.

“I’m not going anywhere, baby. I promise. I love you, and this love is not going to disappear overnight, no. Actually every morning when I wake up next to you I realize how lucky I am to have you by my side. I realize how much I want to live the rest of my life with you, to have your children, to have a family with you. I want to grow old with you, Buck.”

That was enough for Buck to crumble again. Finally he had found his home. And it was right there, holding him in a way he had never been held before.

And in that moment after so long, he allowed himself. He allowed himself to be loved and allowed himself to open his heart for you to come in and take care once and for all of that heart that was once so broken.

[deathmetalunicorn1]

Can I request Eri Reader with Yandere Parental Figures (Aphrodite is sobbing when she calls her ‘Aunty’) Shiva’s Wives (Who like to dote on her) Brotherly Figures, Hermes, Hercules and Ares (Ares is sobbing in the corner after she called him ‘Big Brother Ares’) the Valkyries are her Sister Figures (Sasaki and Zeus have a ‘rivalry’ about who’s ‘Grandpa’)

Everyone is very overprotective and territorial of Reader, as the Pantheons and Humans tend to fight each other over who she gets to spend time with (But hide their fighting so Reader doesn’t cry/get upset)

They end up making a Week System, Monday is the Greek Pantheon, Tuesday is the Norse Pantheon, Wednesday is the Valkyrie Sisters, Thursday is the Four Sages and Zerofuku, Friday is the Hindu Pantheon and the Weekend she spends it with the Human Fighters

And it goes great… until they learn they’ll soon have to enroll her in school, making their time with her cut in half (And everyone’s sobbing/whimpering about her growing up…going out into the world…making friends…meeting boys…boys develop crushes on her…digging holes in the backyard for said boys…making alibi’s for said missing children… *sigh* the struggle of being a parent/elder sibling is rough 🤣💀)

-Everything had been smoothed over, the gods, humans, and valkyries coming to an agreement on how things were going to be done regarding you, their precious little Y/N.

-They had all adopted you, either as parental figures, or siblings, aunts and uncles, and even a few grandpa figures, Zeus, Odin, and Kojiro, and you loved all of them, beaming so brightly now and you were safe and sound, having your massive family protecting you.

-However, fights and arguments started to become more frequent, all of them fighting over you, fighting over who go to spend time with you next, or that one individual was hogging you and not sharing.

-You didn’t like seeing your family fighting and the first time you burst into tears, seeing them fight, they had to figure out something and figure it out quickly.

-And they did find a solution quickly, you would spend time each day with a different group of your loved ones.

-On Monday you were at the Greek pantheon, with you big brothers Hercules, Ares, and Hermes, with Auntie Aphrodite, who ugly cried the first time you called her that, grandpa Zeus, and Uncle Hades and Poseidon, each one of them taking turns playing with you or telling your stories.

-On Tuesday you were with the Norse pantheon, running around playing with Loki, reading stories with Grandpa Odin, and cuddling with Thor, who swears he’s not crying.

-On Wednesday you’re with your big sisters the valkyries who dote on you, playing with you, having tea parties, dress up, and making sure you’re happy.

-On Thursday you hung out with Zerofuku and the Four Sages, usually spending it in Buddha’s garden, eating snacks, being taught how to read and write, taking naps, and just relaxing.

-On Friday you were at the Hindu pantheon, dancing with Shiva and his wives, playing with Ganesha, and learning about the world around you with the other Hindu gods

-On the weekends you were with the humans, with your papa and mama, Adam and Eve, Grandpa Kojiro, your other big brothers and uncle figures, and they teach you how to just be a normal human, teaching you how to run around and play, using your head to think and solve problems, and just showering you with love.

-However, a problem arose when Eve noticed you staring at children going to school as she walked you to the Greek pantheon, and she brought it up to Hades.

-By the end of the day, everyone in your massive family knew, and after Ares inquired with you, you told him you wanted to go to school to be with other kids you own age.

-An emergency meeting was called to discuss this, as that would mean your time with certain members of your family would be shortened if you started going to school, something they didn’t want to think about.

-Eve took you to the school, taking you on a tour so you could see if you believed you were ready to start, and the kids your own age were very welcome, greeting you warmly and they didn’t care about your horn at all, finding it cool as many of them were children of the gods and had their own unique features.

-When Eve returned, holding you as you were passed out asleep, she walked in to see everyone surrounded by gloom, as they had all come to the realization you were growing up, you were spreading your wings, wanting to explore the world! You wanted to go to school and make friends!

-Eve held her cheek in her hand, “Oh my~ if this is how you are all going to be when Y/N starts school, how are you going to be when she starts dating?”

-Shiva pointed to the corner where several shovels were already prepared in advanced, as they realized this and she giggled softly, as she knew that was a part of parenthood, watching your child grow up, but as parents, it was their job to nurture you, keep you safe, but also learn things on your own.

-Your first day of school was a day full of loud obnoxious sobbing, many members of your family ugly crying, not wanting you to leave while others, like Parvati, were taking picture after picture, wanting to always remember this day.

-You waved bye-bye to all of them, a bright smile on your face as they watched you take your first steps into this new milestone in your life, all of them standing behind you, supporting you.

[loveandleases]

(Our second fluff ABC's. This time for our hothead. You can find the first fluff ABC's here. Below the cut~)

A = Admiration - Cam admires honesty.

B = Body - Any part of MC, doesn't matter. Just know Cam is very much paying attention to all of their body.

C = Cuddling - There were many nights when MC and Cam were having a sleepover that Cam ended up half laying on MC. Cam loves to cuddle, and why not do that with your favorite person?

D = Dates - For Cam he would prefer something more laid back. While he would take MC out on the town if that is what they wanted, just having that one on one time is a plus in their book.

E = Emotions - They are known as our resident hot head for a reason. Cam can take a lot, he will bury it. (Looking at all those emotions he has pushed down for MC). If Cam feels someone is being rude or out of pocket just know he will do something about it. Even if it has nothing to do with him.

F = Family - For him, those people he considers famliy are the most important to him. Whether that is MC, or MC's aunt, even doggo. They matter to Cam. Now how that applies to his own siblings, you will just have to wait and see.

G = Gifts - He loves to give gifts, believes them to be little reminders of his appreciation. If you see the inside of Cam's room, you will see trinkets from many different points in his life. Things from his childhood, such as the first pebble MC gave him. To a stack of polaroids of Kara's first steps, to when he got the doggo for MC.

H = Holding Hands - He holds hands with such fervency. Afraid that if he lets go the person whose hand he was holding will cease to exist.

I = Injury - While Cam can handle pain thanks to growing up sick, he can't handle it when it has to do with people he cares about. When he saw MC's nose bleed (thanks Cam) he nearly fainted form the sight of blood. Just the idea of hurting someone gives him the ick. (unless that person is Chris.)

J = Jokes - Definitely a jokester, sometimes you just have to laugh to keep from crying. Sadly that is one of Cam's ideals. He will be sulking out of your view.

K = Kisses - Cam kisses with urgency, as if each one will be the last. Each one more dear than the one before.

L = Love - Cam has had love for people, platonically, and romantically. Though no love burns brighter or hurts as much as the one he has for his best friend. It's a love to never be given lightly or that expects anything in return.

M = Memory - He has many memories he holds dear, from the first word Kara spoke, to his first kiss. One of his favorite memories is prom, and when he headbutted Chris. (Okay that one yeah that one is top 5.)

N = Nightmare (what is one of their fears?) - One of his biggest fears is to be discarded. To be replaced and treated as if he never mattered at all. He can do without that.

O = Oddity (what is one quirk they have?) - MC will see Cam just grab at his hair and faceplant on the table, the couch even his bed. MC has yet to find out why but they always hear Cam mumbling things under his breath.

P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?)- Red.

Q = Quality Time (how do they like to spend time with you?) - Cam prefers to just hang out, relax. Talk about your shared past and what coul be your future. Watch really cringey shows. Share a pint of ice cream together. Help in any way he can. Also…laundry.

R = Rhythm (what song do they hum to themselves, when they think no one is listening.)- He will hum anything even if he doesn't know the lyrics, his current go to is Say Yes To Heaven by Lana Del Ray.

S = Secrets (how open are they?) - With others he's not open at all, with MC like an open book. (well except for one secret he keeps close). He will never intentionally tell MC's secrets, those are sacred to him.

T = Time (how do they spend their time?) - Pining. Doodling in a journal he keeps hidden in a drawer. Taking horrible candid photos of people. Cam also likes to read, there will always be a book dog eared in his camera bag.

U = Upset (how do they act when they're upset?) - Depends on how upset he is. While somethings he will bottle, other things will make him out swear a sailor. Cam gives it his all in a lot of things, especially when it comes to cussing someone out. Did they bump into MC, alright hes going to tell them their mother should have swallowed. Our boy is fiesty sometimes to a fault. But it's because he truly cares.

V = Vaunt (what are they proud of? Do they like to show you off?) - Their accomplishments. While his parents don't recognize how good he is as a photographer, Cam is truly good at it. At capturing a moment or an idea just with photos. It's something he prouds himself on. If he sucks at everything else, at least he knows this is the one thing he can do.

W = Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting? Would they fight for you, beside you, etc?) - He has a scar on the back of his thigh from doing just that. Cam will fight for you, beside you. To him it doesn't matter. You just tell him where to throw that punch.

X = X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?) - Very well. There will be times when Cam can read MC better than he can himself. He won't always know when something is wrong or whats wrong, especially if your relationship changes. He will try his best to figure out whats wrong.

Y = Yes (how would they propose to you?) - I can't give all the details away, but it would depend. It's not that he wouldn't plan it, it's just likely that he would be so overcome with emotion that he just blurts it out.

Z = Zen (what makes them feel calm?) - Someone touching their hand or a hug. He never really got them from his family so to him it's not only shocking when someone does it but its so comforting to him that he wishes it would never end.

[mill-s]

HOW IS THE SKY FEELING TODAY ?

~a small gojo drabble

warning: none, a bit angsty

~1.1k

It was yet another rainy day. And as much as you loved the rain, it has ben 13days now of constant rain and it was getting too much.

You didn’t understand, and no one was understanding why such weather was going over your head for about two weeks now. Even the meteorologist’s predictions didn’t concorde. For them, it was sunny, but the sky was just crying over and over again.

And your heart was clenching.

Deep inside, you knew something was wrong. All this was the cause of a person or someone in an agonizing pain. It has to, it was the only explanation. And so, you decided it was your mission to solve it. And mostly to help this sad heart.

That’s how your journey began. You weren’t the only one on the case, humans and sorcerers were searching for the cause of it all. Rummaging all places across the country, exercising every curse hiding. Places have never been clearer. But the sky was still crying. Over and over again.

26 days have past and on the 27th it was different. Outside, it wasn’t rain you were seeing anymore, but snow. Little white pearls were falling from the sky this morning.

“The sky is cold today”, you thought out loud.

“The sky does not have feelings Y/n. Why do you keep thinking that every day?” That voice of her startled you and put you out of your thoughts.

“I don’t know Shoko, I just feel it, it’s like a string is attached from my heart to the sky and I can feel everything.”

“Then find a solution, talk to it and keep the rain away, I’m tired of it.” She retorted.

“It’s snowing today tho” you opened the window and put your arm outn feeling the snowflakes land in your hand and immediately disappear. “It’s pretty” And you were happy that since the grounds were so wet, snow couldn’t stay just becoming another raindrop into a puddle.

Pure white snow just made you sick to your stomach now.

“Last time it snowed in Tokyo maybe the sky was cold but at least our hearts were warm” It was very unlike Shoko to be sentimental like th- “If it doesn’t stop, we gonna drown and I deserve a more honourable death than that.” She sighed “Shitty weather, shitty life. We just need to get the fuck out of here and let the sorcerer life behind us. We have enough money to live a century with all the compensations that we got” There she was, it’s like I almost missed her.

“I’ll be going out. See if I can find something today.”

She hummed “Get me cigs on your way ack pretty”.

“M’kay, love you.”

“Yea yea, love ya. Now let me read in peace and stop with your weird string shit.”

Boy it was freezing outside. Even with your puffy jacket and his old scarf you were cold. The faint smell of him that still linger on it kept your heart a little bit warm but the strong smell of wood in his perfume was slowing leaving place to the one of humidity as you entered an abandoned building. The silence was often cut by the sound of a waterdrop and it was very dark inside.

Little noises were echoing inside this cold and empty place “Curses must have stay hidden inside.” You thought but as you try to feel cursed energy around you, you felt.. nothing. “Weird.”

Closing your eyes, concentrating, searching every little corner for curse energy you still found nothing. You frowned and started feeling every detail of this building without paying any mind to your surroundings that you missed the little creature coming towards you and slowly touching your ankle.

“AAAAAAHHH! Spiders I hate freaking spiders!” you screamed as you took a step back waving your hands in the air and closing your eyes. “Ah. What a weak sorcerer you must be if you fear a little innocent spider like this” his words resonated in your head as you remembered one of your first encounters.

But as you opened your eyes, you weren’t expecting to see..

“Meow”

A cat?!

What was that kitten doing in a place like this. “hi you” you said as you bended over, slowly approaching your hand to its face so it could sniff you and let you touch it. “What are you doing alone here?”

“Meow”

He was little, probably 3 months old, yet so fluffy already or so it seems. Its white fur was now grey and brown covered in dust and mud, looked starved, wet and cold, and has its eyes closed.

“Poor baby look at you” “Meow”

It was answering every time as you talked to it more with a baby voice.

And when you finally look at it again, after taking it in your arms and petting his head you saw it.

Bright blue eyes.

So blue.

So bright.

Piercing right through your eyes.

But totally making your heart clench. Mesmerized by this little furball, bawling your eyes out in the middle of an empty building.

It meowed again, and again, looking at you before posing its paw on your jaw. The action made you stifle a laugh.

“I’m fine kitty, don’t worry” “Meow”,

It was almost as you could feel worry in its voice.

“Let’s get your home hm” you said smiling.

“Almost though you died back there. Did you get my cigs? I don’ have any left.” Shoko tells you as you entered her office.

“Nope. But I got this, look!” you exclaimed happily showing her the kitty sleeping peacefully in your arms.

“A cat, seriously Y/n…” she facepalmed “Aren’t you allergic or something and that’s why you didn’t let G-“

“I don’t care Sho,” you pout “it was lonely and cold, I couldn't just let it to die like this. And beside that’s why you exist hm? You can heal m- sneeze”

“That’s not how it works.”

“Pleeeease”

“Fine, I will try to make something for you when I have the time.”

You spent your evening making him take a bath, doing all you can to warm him up, feeding him and you both passed out cuddling on your bed.

You woke up by the sun hitting your face. Outside, was a a big blue sky and a sun shining as its brightness.

“As blue as your eyes hm” you said to your kitten who was peacefully sleeping between your boobies. You laughed at the sight.

“You really are just like him yea” he purred as you start to pet his head.

From now on, the sky was only happy and warm.

I was feeling a bit gloomy about gojo today and thought of this, 🤧

hope you will like it <3

@chandeliermichel saw it first, thank you love

[parkersdahlia]

tough love || m.s

𝜗ৎ based on tough love by gracie abrams

𝜗ৎ warning: mentions of being drunk that's it i guess

you were currently sitting on a train, it was a saturday night and you felt crappy like you wanted to cry because your boyfriend of 2 years was gone. it was the night after your 24th birthday and the guilt of breaking up with him was starting to catch up. you had done it over text, telling him that it was the right thing to do. he was freaking out constantly asking you why and was it something he'd done or said. you explained to him how his growing popularity with his brothers meant that fans will get increasingly invasive and mean. he said he didn't care but you were pretty firm on your decision. he asked to meet up atleast once to talk things out and figure things out but you refused.

It has now been a week and at first you didn't feel much guilt but last night when you were celebrating, surrounded by your friends, you suddenly missed his presence and the guilt catching up to you. in a drunken state you stalked one of his brother's story and found out they're currently home. which is why you found yourself in a train that was taking you to boston. sitting in his jacket that had a little rip in the side. you look around the train full of strangers. normally, it would freak you out but not right now. you liked these strangers more, more than anyone else in this moment. you found being surrounded by them oddly comforting. you sat there and thought about how you hated when you both fought. It sucked. but then you thought whatever ,he's just one of the boys afterall and you're so young and you can date whoever you want and leave when you feel bored. there was no need to be so sad about it right?.

the train eventually came to a halt and you got down. the cold evening boston breeze hitting you, making you shiver and hug yourself tightly holding the jacket closer. you took a cab to his house feeling weird and doubtful all of a sudden about what you were doing. travelling all the way to his hometown all of a sudden? after ghosting him and not returning even one of his desperate calls or texts. was this right? you thought to yourself. you don't get much time to think because the cab was pulling up outside his house making your heart stop. you got down and called him before you could chicken out. he picked up making your heart skip a few beats "y/n?" he said "um hi" you said awkwardly, surprised at the fact he hasn't blocked or deleted your number yet "um c- can you- um I mean coul- could y- could you come outside?" he was confused "what? outside where?" he asked completely lost. you closed your eyes and gathering all your courage "can you come outside please? I'm here outside your house and I wanna talk" you said desperately. he goes silent for a moment. he peeks out of the window seeing you stand there completely shocked at the sudden visit. "matt?" you confirm if he's still there "um yeah i- I'll be there hold on" he said hurriedly ending the call. he comes out as you're standing there wearing his old jacket and hands shoved in the pockets. he looked so confused and totally not expecting this. "hey are you okay? is everything alright? " he asked concern lacing his pretty features and his voice. "um yeah everything is fine don't worry i- i just wanted to talk" you said looking down "I know this isn't the best time and after what I did i thought the least I can do is give you a proper explanation. I owe you" you see his features relax at that, making relief wash over yours. he nodded and your heart settled feeling greatful that he was willing to give you a chance to explain. matt was still angry and confused but he thought if you travelled all the way here just to talk then you deserved the chance and he really wanted to make things right too. he missed you so. he looks at you for a moment a little smile tugging at his lips "oh and by the way, happy belated birthday " he said , making you smile at the the fact he remembered. he took you to a coffee shop where you both talked things out, mostly you as you spent the time explaining why you did what you did and why you still think it's the best decision for the both of you. he kept on saying that he didn't care about the fans and that he can handle it, but you were firm on your decision. you told him with the amount of time spent working and increasing popularity of him and his brothers, it was easy for things to get out of control before he even realises and that he may feel like this is a bad decision right now but will resent your relationship down the line because things change and you didn't want to hold him back. "matt I'm so proud of you for doing so well but the timing isn't right" he shook his head vigorously assuring you none of that will happen. you looked at him, pained look takes over your features as you try to get your point across. you chuckled when he tried to call your bluff in desperation thinking you're making some sick joke and you shook your head. you told him you weren't just thinking about yourself but also about him and how vicious fame can be and how not charmed you are with the idea of it all and that's why you're leaving. he wouldn't understand but there's only so much explaining you can do "you'll understand my reasons eventually" you said giving his hands a squeeze whispering a quiet "goodbye" as he refused to meet your eyes swallowing his tears. you left him there in pieces, you didn't know what else you were leaving for.

leaving the coffee shop you felt heavy weight on your shoulder still lingering, not quiet off and with you not home and nowhere else to go you decided to take a walk by the river. the cold night breeze making you shiver as you kept walking you found a bench and decided to sit there and gather your thoughts. greatful for this little bench that gave you somewhere to go and washing you with a feeling of home. you sat there for a while thinking and rethinking things. it was getting too much, the constant thought of what if you were doing something wrong , what if this was a mistake and the hurt that came with breaking someone's heart you didn't want to think anymore. you felt the strong urge to forget and drown out your feelings. you realised there's a bar down the road, deciding on spending whatever time you have left in boston there.

you get to the bar only to run into the sister of a boy you had met through some mutual friend back in college. you and her decided to get wasted toghether. you didn't know her well but you knew she was a bit of a weird intellect. she was very harsh and direct with her words. she really liked to tell the truth and say things for what they are. that's why all her boyfriends up and left , they couldn't take her honesty. she just had that effect to her, you thought to yourself. you told her how you had just broken the heart of your boyfriend who is now an ex. you told her being honest and leaving feels brutal she nodded and said "but that's just tough love and you're lucky to receive it right?" she said hitting the table to go with what she's saying, god she was hammered , you thought to yourself. "he'll just crumble to pieces" she continued sipping on her drink shrugging her shoulders making you chuckle. "love is not always soft sometimes it's tough. I mean you left him because you were thinking about him and you care for him, right?" you nodded "you left him even though it hurt you , you left him because you don't want to hold him back. he may not understand it now but he will eventually" she said. she had a harsh way of telling things but she was also right.

after leaving the bar you walked towards the train station waiting for a train back home. you settled down inside the train, still clad in his jacket, in a similar position you found yourself in hours ago but this time your mind was much lighter and the weight lifting off by the second. you thought of all the negatives. everyone talks about things you'll miss when you seperate from a person but you tried to think of things that you won't miss about him, trying to make yourself feel better about leaving you though how you weren't going to miss the way he kicked you in your bed while sleeping, a childhood habit of his, or his crappy rich influencer friends who were entitled and so full of themselves who preferred to spend their nights binge drinking, or his old inflated ego that he couldn't hide sometimes knowing there's so many people that wanted him, or his shallow thinking, you were not doing to miss denying that you've got your own damn reasons. a smile taking over your lips as you thought there was no way you were wasting your 20s on random men. they were nowhere close to being cooler, smarter or tougher than all your friends and although you hated the thought of leaving someone's heart bleeding , you were still free and young and not ready to be with someone if it didn't feel right. you took a deep breath smiling to yourself,

now knowing and understanding, what you truly left for.

a/n: shaking as I type this because this is literally my first fic ever and I'm so scared and excited to put this out. I've wanted to write this for so long honestly but a huge shoutout to @jayz4dayz4 making that post that finally pushed me to write it and put it out <33 hope this is good enough xx

divider by : @poemale