#like i can't BELIEVE how good Kevin sounds

[kitausuret]

not gonna lie you guys

after seeing REO Speedwagon the other day I really think I wanna get back to Dust to Dust soon here

anyways I got to see Kevin Cronin at 72 years of age belt out two of the songs that inspired the chapter titles:

Before the show they were also playing Sinatra - not any of the chapter titles I've written so far, they played "Fly Me to the Moon" - so I was like. Is this a sign. Because it felt like a sign. 😂

Anyways. We (I went with my parents) had fun. They've still got it after over 50 years!

[shanastoryteller]

i know supernatural is the show of missed opportunities but man. the trials really get to me - what a perfect way to reboot and reset this show that you're artificially extending for ratings. it could have been really, really good, actually

so the trials of god is a way for someone to gain the ability to seal the gates of hell and the gates of heaven

they have the translation for hell, they know that slamming the gates of hell shut means calling all the demons back home and locking the key. it's logical, then, to for them to believe the same is true of the one for heaven - that it calls all the angels back home and locks them away where they can't do any more damage

peace, for the people of earth, outside of the influence of angels and demons. that's got to be worth it, right?

so while sam is completing the hell trials, they get the angel tablet, kevin gets translating, to figure out the angel trials. or maybe metatron helps nudge them along to figuring it out, since him being the big bad here isn't really relevant and they are in a bit of time crunch

canon doesn't tell us what the heaven trials are, except that the first one involves a ritual using the heart of a nephilim. they make it sound like they're carving it from their chest, but what i would do is

have a nephilim offer you their heart from their chest (gain their loyalty in a binding ceremony)

create grace from freshwater (there is no rain that falls anywhere on earth that is safe to drink and god said let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters)

find a human soul to guide you to heaven (babel fell but the stairway was built and those with wings have no need of stairs)

so sam is in the midst of the hell trials when dean sort of accidentally on purpose completes the first heaven trial and then the brothers are on parallel train tracks heading in the opposite direction

sam works to close the gates of hell

dean works to close the gates of heaven

demons and angels both working to stop them

sam completes the trials. he restores crowley's humanity and he dies and the gates of hell are closed

but that's not the end

metatron says they can close the gates if they're willing to pay the price. canon says the price is sam's death, but frankly that doesn't make any sense. what's the death of one human against the horrors of hell? and remember, metatron doesn't know the winchesters. maybe another angel would make this comment, knowing how the winchesters have weighed the safety of the world against their brother and left the world out to dry, would think this a price worth warning for. but metatron wouldn't bother, wouldn't even think of it, if that was the only price

the gates of hell close and malevolent spirits explode across the globe, evil spirits and angry ghosts causing death and destruction everywhere

hell serves a function and now the gates are closed and every evil human soul is forced to stay on earth, causing as much destruction as it can

that's the price for closing the gates of hell

except. except. aren't the hell trials interesting?

kill a hellhound. rescue an innocent soul and return it to heaven. purify a demon and restore their humanity.

the trials are not to prove if someone is worthy of closing the gates of hell. it's to prove they're capable of setting hell to rights

the trials are if things got too out of hand, if things were taken too far, and hell had to be put back in it's place. sam dies and ends up exactly where azazel wanted him - ruler of hell. all the demons and souls are trapped with him and what he has to do, while he has them all there, while they can't escape, is exactly what he did to get there

he kills the hellhounds, leaving only those meant to patrol hell. he releases every innocent soul bound there. he purifies the demons one by one, who he either releases as innocent souls or who to pledge to do their job as demons of hell - punishing evil, containing evil - in penance for what they did before (how do i even begin to make up for what i've done, crowley had asked, and this is the answer)

meanwhile, dean, heartbroken, completes the heaven trials and dies

and the gates of heaven slam shut and all the angels are stripped of their grace and expelled from heaven and dean finds himself in charge of an empty heaven

the trials are for when things have gone too far and heaven must be rebuilt, after all

good souls pile up, no one who dies able to truly leave earth, and given enough time they become twisted things that must be hunted along with the spirits of evil men and women who cause chaos from their last breath

dean has work to do. he has one angel - the nephilim whose loyalty he earned in the first trial - and this is what he has to do. he recruits more, to replace the ranks, he creates grace and hands it out judiciously. he sends them to guide the good souls home, using the stairway that the former angels wouldn't be able to use even if they wanted to, and each good act and deed earns them a little more grace. former angels throw themselves into the fight for humans, because they know it's the only way that dean will return their grace to them and lift them back into heaven

and in fighting for them, in living like them, they learn to love these creations of their father that they'd despised. they see what he saw and the thought of destroying this place in a civil war becomes unthinkable to them. they are once more the angels god intended them to be

in this, dean and sam fulfill their destiny as lucifer and michael's vessels. not in letting them in, but in pushing them out, in doing the work each was intended for but refused

only when there is only evil human souls being punished and caged, only once the demons are once more working to run hell and earn their release to heaven, does sam reopen the gates of hell

only when there's a full choir of angels once more, committed to their cause, only once there are souls working with reapers as it once always was, does dean reopen the gates of heaven

they're called the god trials for a reason. above and below, sam and dean act as god, putting things back in their intended places

they could stay. they should stay. keeping house, making sure it all goes smoothly, eternally keeping earth safe from angels and demons both

they're called the god trials for a reason. not even god could resist the paradise inbetween that he'd created

dean doesn't know if sam is going to return to earth. he might stay in hell, and if dean becomes human once more, then what's the point? he'll live and die a human, get stuck in heaven, and be forever separated from the brother he loves

sam doesn't know if dean is going to return to earth. he migh not be able to, might be stuck doing his work - sam assumes if the hell trials did this to him, then the heaven trials did the same to dean, and the idea that dean could have failed the heaven trials after he dies doesn't even cross mind. if he returns and dean's not there then he loses it all, he never again gets to see the brother he loves

but when, exactly, haven't they been willing to risk everything for each other?

dean falls as lucifer fell, throwing himself towards earth

sam rises as michael did after the fall, pulling himself towards earth the same way michael once pulled himself to the top of heaven

what's the use of being a god without his brother, after all?

dean and sam are reunited on earth, human once more

no more angels, no more demons, heaven and hell functioning once more as they should. we're back to basics, a clean slate, all of the rest remade and set aside by their own hands (it's literal and a metaphor, the way the show could have remade itself with the trials, after setting aside kripke's plan while at the same time recognizing that the design of it - two brothers who love each other going across america and fighting evil - is the thing that made it worth watching to begin with) and now it's them again, brothers forged in blood and sacrifice and love, and a new appreciation for the humanity they gave up and returned to

and then we get my beloved monster of the week with no stupid too high stakes, convoluted bullshit involved, beyond the occasional angel who dean refused to reinstate and demon tracking down miscreant souls and, every once in a while, a person or creature or something in between squinting at them and going - weren't you two gods?

nah, they say, all corn fed grins and the dimples their momma gave them, we're brothers

[mini-minish]

nathaniel wesninski & andrew doe au i picked up from a 2021 sketch 🪓🖤🔪

notes under the read more!

• andrew doe gets adopted into the wesninski family when he's just a little older than nathaniel, who hasnt been sent to edgar allen tryouts yet, and andrew doe is trained to be his bodyguard since childhood

• mary doesn't like it, he becomes a weakness for her son and when she leaves she refuses to take andrew with them, so nathaniel stays, and in that mary never really gets to leave

• on the same day she fails at running away and nathan finds them, nathaniel loses his eye lolastyle

• one time when he's a little older, andrew receives a letter, from a boy who claims to be his twin. andrew minyard doe throws it to the fire, and nathaniel picks it up while he's turned, before it burns completelly

• from the day nathaniel gets injured because he refused to leave andrew behind, they go from annoyed acquaintances to inseparable friends

• he calls andrew "drew" and andrew pretends to hate it. later when theyre older the name "nathaniel" starts to weight, starts to sound weird, so he asks andrew to call him something else, and andrew calls him alex, stefan, adam, until they get to neil

• but he only calls him neil when theyre alone, when its a secret, when nathan cant hear them

• "nathaniel" takes up the axe. he's as good a hitman as the little devil of baltimore has to be. he hates it, hates the color red, the color of his hair

• one of andrew's first memories at the house is of nathan cutting a man to pieces and making him watch, making him learn not to flinch, but red is the color of neil's hair, soft, safe, soothing

• before that, though, theres little league. theres learning andrew is talented at exy, theres kevin day, and riko moriyama, and theres jean moreau

• i want jean and andrew to be funny about each other just for some levity here ok

• the reynolds are a renowed fashion brand, far from them to refuse big mafia money, so they work on suits, on silk shirts, on tailored pants, and allison reynolds is always joined by her friend renee when she goes with her parents for fittings

• renee walker meets andrew doe, and andrew thinks shes silly enough to keep in touch.

• kevin day leaves them, and neil realises he doesnt have to be kept either. kevin day gets to get out and nathaniel wesninski gets quieter.

• neil finds his uncle's contact among some of the things his mother left behind. from stuart he gets to ichirou. from ichirou he starts to make a plan

• riko moriyama is going to make a big announcement soon, something about the perfect court, something that will finally brand the rest of them as his, and well, andrew has always told neil how much he hates that the pen's ink makes the skin of his face break out

• and neil still has the address of a boy who claims to be his andrew's twin

• for whatever reason the moriyamas and the wesninskis have one of those rich people dinners planned. neil gets kevin to show up, nathaniel gets andrew to leave, kicking and punching and a promise broken

• later in the night, a little after the first course is served and they begin the socializations, neil gets kevin to leave, leave, run as far as possible, *now*.

• he sees jean, grabs his wrist, and takes him outside. theyre walking fast before neil starts running, and then the explosion comes from inside the house, from the basement, and knocks both of them out before they turn the corner. the hathford's men long gone from the scene.

• all renee walker and andrew doe see from where he's been waiting for the little voice at the back of his mind to make sense, is the house bursting on fire, believing that it does so with what he's supposed to protect still inside

• but since i can't bring myself to do this to them, andrew finds him, finds jean, and at the hospital finds stuart, who takes his nephew in

• he gets contacted by a man called david wymack, who was convinced by kevin day to offer them a place among his foxes :)

[petew21-blog]

Fitness coaching, part 2

(a different inbox request 😈) I'll refer to you as kid and combine the stories. Hope you don't mind

Warning: The kid is just a nickname. The person in this story is of age

A high school assembly where Kevij Hjenas talks about his success and motivation

Kevin (or is it Kevin really?):"Hey everyone, today I am here to talk to you about following your passing and lack of motivation. First I gotta tell you how I started. How I wasn't so different from all of you..."

Kid to himself:"Yeah, you got it easy. You had the looks, you had the muscles and no one was beating your ass when you went to high school"

Kevin continuing:"So whenever you feel like giving up, you gotta stand up to that thing and beat it. And the biggest fight there's gonna be is the one that will be in your head"

Kid;"Sure, I wanna be the one in your head. Try being me for a sec while everyone is beating your ass, looking you in the lockers and picking on you for not being good enough."

Kevin:"And if you ever have a problem, don't worry to walk up to adults and ask for help. Most of the adults are willing to help you win your fight"

Kid:"Jesus, Kevin. I admire you and yet you come to school and talk to us about this bullshit? Nobody cares. Of course they don't. They don't want to fill the paperwork, talk to the parents. It's easier not to care. Damn. I wish I could be Kevin Hjenas and him to be me so that he could see what it's like to be a kid in high school again"

BAM

Kid tries to open his eyes, but can't. He can feel... stretched? Around something. He can feel something hard inside of him. He can feel a butt? What is going on?

He tried to scream:"What happened? Where am I?"

Kevin stops his speech as the voice inside of his head now turned more louder, but it sounds different. "Kevin? Go back to being an obedient speedo, would you? I got a presentation to finish."

Kid:"Kevin? What? I am... I am a student. I was just watching Kevin. Why are you calling me Kevin? Where am I? Did you just call me a speedo?"

Suddenly a kid's in the audience gets up from his seat. "I can see again. I can talk! Somebody help me. Someone stole my body." He stares in disbelief at his previous Kevin Hjenas body, or atleast the one who looks like him. "You did that! Give me my body back!"

Teacher:"That's enough of this outburst young man, you'll come with me to the principal."

The other kids lost it and the whole auditorium started laughing. This kid is gonna get beat up today so much more than usually.

(Not) Kevin to Kid as his speedo:"Look kid. Let me finish this and I'll explain. Ok? Just stay silent and I'll fix this. Ok?"

Kevin finishes the presentation and goes to the nearby park

Kevin:"So tell me what did you do before you ended up as my speedo?"

Kid:"I couldn't believe the bullshit you were talking at the assembly. I had the worst time yesterday and I envied you. Your body, your fame. Everything. So I wished to be in Kevin Hjenas body and him to be in mine"

Kevin:"Oh... I see what went wrong"

Kid:"It didn't work, that's what went wrong"

Kevin:"Well technically you are in Kevin's body. Cause... I'm not really Kevin. I'm wearing his body as a speedo and that gives me the ability to look like him. I'm a different person. So the one screaming in your body at the auditorium was the real Kevin in your body"

Kid:"Ok, then change me back to his body then. If you have the power."

Kevin:"It's not that easy... we gotta contact this writer. He writes stories and if you ask he grants you the wish in a form of a story/transformation. He likes to play with his subjects after. But the waiting time is horrible. He works all the time and only writes a few stories a day. So that is the tricky part"

Kid:"So what if we ask him nicely? Maybe if we explain the situation to him, he might understand"

Kevin:"You really are naive, kid. But it's worth a shot. Let's go home. You gotta get used to being a speedo and there is not better time to let you learn like now"

Kevin's dick gets visibly hard

Kid:"Oh, this is strange. But... it feels nice. I can actually feel it"

Kevin:"Just a few benefits of being a piece of clothing. Just wait till you feel me stroke myself or have an orgasm. Oh jesus. How old are you kid?"

Kid:"Don't worry. I'm old enough to feel you cum onto my... fabric?"

Two months later

Author:"Oh hey Kevin. Sorry for the waiting time. You wouldn't believe what kind of wishes all the people have. There was thos guy who wanted to be merged as Hulk and..."

Kevin:"Stop. This can't wait. I need a favour. And so does this kid." Kevin pulls down his shorts and points at his speedo

Author:"Is there something wrong with the real Kevin? You still look like him so what's the issue?"

Kevin:"The issue is, that this isn't Kevin anymore. Some kid from local High school wanted to swap bodies with him and he did. Kevin is now attending school again, while he is stuck embracing my dick as speedo"

Author:"Oh... well. I don't have good news for you boys. Because another spell intervened, I can't really do much about the appearance of Kevin's original body. But... there might be a solution. You may not like it"

Kid:"I don't care, I just want to feel what it's like to be a human again. Atleast for a while"

Kevin:"The kid is on board with whatever plan you got. Depends what it means for me."

Author:"It's quite simple, guys. You might have to learn how to share. You'll both have the ability to control your body, swapping with the speedo. Only one gets to control the human body, while the other rests as speedo"

Kevin:"I'm not giving this up. I worked hard to look like Kevin"

Kid:"You can't do this to me"

Kevin:"Can't you place his soul into something else, please?"

Author:"Wish I could, but both of these spell are now combined and can't be broken. If I take his soul away, you won't look like Kevin anymore. It's either this or full reversal. And let me tell you... Kevin is gonna be really pissed"

Kevin:"Would you be ok with that? Sharing a body like Jekyll and Hyde?"

Kid:"Who's that suppose to be?"

Kevin:"Jesus you kids these days. So... like Moon Knight?"

Kid:"Oh cool. If it means I get to be human and also Kevin, I'm in."

Kevin:"Ok, let's do this..."

Two weeks later, pier beach

Kevin:"You should stop with all these carbs. We'll get fat"

Kid:"Oh shut up. I'm enjoying myself."

Fan:"Hey, Kevin. Could I take a photo with you?"

Kid:"Oh yeah. Right on"

Fan:"Thank you. Could... could I touch your biceps, sir?"

Kid:"Oh of course. Go on. I can't get enough of these things too. They are massive right?"

Fan:"Haha. Yeah. Thank you"

Kevin:"You need to tone it down a bit. People are gonna get suspicious."

Kid:"Oh relax. You'll get your turn soon. I'm just enjoying my part of the day. I still think it's unfair that you get the night. I wanna party and fuck other people too. And not just as a speedo"

Kevin:"You'll have a chance soon. Don't worry"

Who knows if the boys will learn to share

A request from Inbox story set as a second part. Guys, you two might have to learn how to share 😁

Hello today is worst day of school someone just randomly pick on me and the worst is no one at the school cared for me, tomorrow kevin hejnas is coming to our school i just wish i could be him so i could feel what life would be as a famous man.

[stabbyfoxandrew]

AERIE!~

gimme ANY OF THEM for wipw!!!

(I am catching up with mafiafront rn, tank u so I really do mean any of them!) okay byeeee <3 -- @quiescentdestiny

WIP Wednesday (3/12) | Vampire Andrew AU (Part 228)

"This was not planned. Come here. I'll take care of you." Andrew says, making Kevin's flush increase tenfold. (He knows how to push Kevin's buttons and enjoys the effects.) After a bit of hemming, Kevin finally comes to sit down on the couch in his usual spot. He makes doe eyes at Andrew.

'If he makes fun of me you have to kill him.'

Andrew nods to appease him and points at Neil. "Sit. Watch." He commands. Neil crosses his arms but sits down on the arm of the sofa. Andrew takes Kevin's hand and finally, finally, lets his fangs descend. He watches Neil as they fill his mouth then glances down to Kevin, whose eyes are locked on him as always. Kevin swallows and closes his eyes tight.

'Don't moan this time. Don't. Not in front of Neil. Not—' Andrew interrupts by biting into the delicate skin of Kevin's wrist. He hears Neil gasp and Kevin's breathing hitch. The hand he's not drinking from cups the side of his face and Andrew growls a warning that Kevin ignores, perhaps assuming Andrew wouldn't kill him with a witness present. Kevin pushes careful fingers into Andrew's hair and Andrew punishes him by sucking hard enough to pull a keen from his throat.

"Did that on purpose," Kevin mutters, sounding half drunk. Andrew flicks his gaze to the side to find Neil watching them intently, stock still with wide eyes. Good.

Satisfied Neil isn't going to make a run for it and out him as a bloodsucking monster, Andrew takes mouthful after exquisite mouthful. He loses himself in Kevin's taste, eyes falling closed as he drinks. Kevin's babbling into his head the entire time, throwing around words like 'love' and 'yes' and 'keep going'. Andrew believes two out of three. He takes and takes until he's actually full and Kevin is far, far away.

When he finally pulls back, Kevin's hand drops to his lap and he lets out a pitiful whine. Drama queen. He enjoys it far too much to pretend it hurts. Putting on a show for Neil, Andrew supposes. Oh, right. Neil. Andrew had nearly forgotten. He licks his lips and turns to look up at his one human audience, whose eyes are blown wide.

"Convinced?" He asks, one ragged word.

Neil nods slowly and Andrew thumbs the bit of blood running down his face. He considers it, then licks it off before running his tongue over Kevin's wrist. He holds it up toward Neil so he can watch the punctures seal themselves up. Neil's mouth drops open a bit at that. When Andrew gets to his feet, Kevin looks about melted into the cushions. His pretty little brain is just as melted, like soft serve in July. Andrew watches his chest rise and fall, his eyelids flutter. He's so fucking...

"Is he okay?" Neil asks, also watching Kevin intently.

'Yeah,' Kevin thinks at him. Andrew rolls his eyes.

"Of course. Kevin just likes this part a lot. It takes him a moment to come out of it. He'll be back soon." Andrew explains with a wave of his hand.

"Sh-shut up. I'm right here..."

"Kevin, don't pretend. Neil has eyes. He can tell you're high as a kite. Can't you, Neil?"

"Yes." Neil tilts his head to stare at Kevin. "Does... Does it really feel that good?"

Kevin's cheeks go pink with whatever blood Andrew missed and he groans, "Yes."

Neil's brows raise in surprise, but he doesn't say anything else. "You said you're strong?"

"I could rip a tree out of the ground or punch a hole through the building if you want. Or we could go downstairs and I could flip Seth's car over— that was Kevin's suggestion. I'm also fast. I can cross the court in five seconds."

"Four." Kevin corrects, still under the effects of Andrew's teeth. "I've timed him."

"Four seconds." Andrew corrects. He watches Neil mouth the same phrase.

"Alright. You can watch my back, like Kevin's, and I'll stay out of your way. But what's the catch?" Neil says, in German. It makes Kevin squint at him, confusedly trying to figure out if he's so far gone he's lost his grasp on English.

"No catch. You're in. That means you belong to us now, kiss the upperclassmen goodbye. They will not want you if you start hanging around us."

[emichen88]

Nothing but praise for the recent video! Excellent craftsmanship from the both of you, terrific! I have to ask though, what was the most difficult shot to animate from the both of you? The whole thing looked so complex and so many things happened at once, I’m so curious

Oddly, this screenshot sums up one of the hardest shots for me. Another one was the one where Krang is falling with all the rockets flying at him because there were so many to keep track of which smoke is above which one for consistency And lastly, the entire project was a challenge. Yeah this sounds like a lazy answer, but it really was because our main goal was to keep the characters on model with the show. So I had to study how to draw Krang, how to draw all the other characters in insane perspective poses that Kevin Ortiz had boarded. The only thing I kept telling myself as animating it was "One day at a time. You can't rush this, but you CAN get this done. Giving up on a drawing won't do you any good or have progress so take a break, draw another shot, and then get back to it". Trust me there were so many times where I just went "no I don't want to draw so n so doing this, I just want to stop" but since I was the only animator, that kind of thinking won't get anything done. With @powerauerart, I believe her answer would be just to figure out the style of the show and paint/animate smokes. I was mostly in charge of the mystic effects and little smoke while she took care of the rest. It was challenging for her to figure out how colors affect each other and how well they read. She can testify to that more LOL

[s10127470]

So recently I've been seeing some discourse online about voice actors.

Particularly ones that can only really do one voice.

We're talking about the likes of Kristen Schaal, Dana Snyder, Patrick Warburton, Kevin McDonald, Keith David, Brad Garrett, H. Jon Benjamin, David Kaufman, Brian Stepanek and Eddie Deezen.

However, it's not in the way you may be thinking.

In fact, the discourse is about praising these guys and showcasing just how good of VAs they are despite only being able to do one voice.

Thought it did get me thinking about another notable VA that can also only do one voice.

However, in contrast to the VAs I just mentioned, they're looked down on for that.

If you haven't guessed who it is already, I'm talking about the infamous Justin Roiland.

It got me wondering why are the aforementioned VAs so beloved and praised as being good, while Justin isn't.

Well putting aside the obvious fact that they're not abusive creeps or talentless hacks, there are a few reasons I can think of.

Characters and Inflictions:

Despite using the same voice for their characters, what truly makes those aforementioned VAs such great VAs are....well, the characters they play.

Just about all the characters those VAs are different from each other, and the VAs use different inflictions in order to perfectly capture their personalities.

Justin unfortunately lacks this skill.

A common complaint towards his characters is that a lot of them tend of feel similar to one another.

Which is not helped by his lack of a vocal range.

The worst examples of this are in the case of Rick & Korvo and Morty & Oscar.

The latter duo have this the worst.

Not only being similar to each other character-wise, but also having the EXACT same voice.

Rick and Korvo are a little better (though not by much) since the latter does sound a little different (though once again, not by again), but they still suffer the problem of being too similar to each other from a characterization standpoint.

Acting:

Although most people consider them two separate mediums, acting and voice acting are essentially similar to one another, as it involves performing as a character.

And although they can only do one voice, you can tell those aforementioned VAs can actually act!

They can actually sell on the emotion their character may be feeling.

H. Jon Benjamin is one of my favorites when it comes to this.

Because of how he always talks in a monotone voice, I always get taken aback whenever he screams or yells.

They just sound so genuine.

Now compare this to Justin.

Justin seems incapable of doing emotional moments.

Whenever he does, it feels rather stilled and somewhat forced.

Like, compare his last official voice performance on Rick and Morty....

To some scenes featuring some of the aforementioned VAs.....

You can hear the emotion in their performances!

Back to that Mr. Poopy Butthole scene.

Apart from the fact that at the point of this episode's premiere, Justin's trademark of doing an annoying goofy voice has ran its course and became, well, annoying.

Listen to when PB is in pain.

He doesn't really sound like it.

Like dude, his legs were crushed.

He should be screaming bloody murder!

But instead he just sounds like he's having a sugar rush.

Justin is also famous for heavily relying on ad-libbing and improvising when it comes to voice acting.

Hence his trademark stuttering

And while that isn't a bad thing in itself, it gives off the impression that he really just can't voice act.

And given how much of a talentless hack he was proven to be, I honestly believe that is the case.

There's also the fact that he famously drinks before voice acting.

And I don't think I need to explain to anyone here how alcohol can negatively affect....well, anything.

Quantity:

I think the biggest reason why so many people don't like Justin's voice acting is just how of him there is.

Justin famously has a lot of voice roles in Rick and Morty.

Not just voicing the titular duo, but also a decent chunk of secondary characters and a WHOLE LOT of extras.

Contrast that to the aforementioned VAs, who only really voice one character in whatever show they're in.

Bar a few exceptions like Bob's Burgers.

Since after hearing so many characters voiced by Justin in the same show, you can't help but start to get tired of it.

And I know there's gonna be some people who are gonna bring up Seth MacFarlane and Alex Hirsch, two creator who also voiced a lot of characters in their shows.

Both in the main and secondary cast.

And as extras.

But both of them use different voices for just about every character they voice.

And although this is a slightly smaller example, but the MTV animated series Undergrads had the series creator, Pete Williams, voice all FOUR of the main protagonists.

And to this day, I'm still shocked by his performance as all four of them.

Like, they all sound so different from each other. So much so that you wouldn't be able to tell that they're all voiced by the same dude.

To wrap this all up, I wanna bring up one last thing that makes this especially bad.

And it doesn't have to do with Justin's quality.

Apparently, the reason why Justin voiced so many characters in this show was so he could use it as an excuse to not get fired.

Anyway, that's all I have for today.

A short post, but something I wanted to talk about.

And also, Justin, if you're reading this......

Go fuck yourself.

[notmorbid]

other birds.

dialogue prompts from other birds: a novel by sarah addison allen.

don't hear of many people moving to ____.

i'm trying to recover the story i lost.

i don't like being around people.

that's one too many things to process with a hangover.

even unlikable things have worth.

even my death can't be all about me. how fitting.

i'm not here to make friends.

you'll regret not feeling sorrier for me.

someone was trying to break in.

the sooner you give me what i want, the sooner i'll leave.

i don't understand, and i don't want to.

i never thought about leaving until you came along.

i always get maudlin when i think of ____.

there's not a bit of truth to that, but it makes a nice story.

in all my years, i've never encountered something that didn't mean anything.

saying goodbye isn't a prerequisite for leaving. you know that good and well.

sometimes it feels like i'm almost gone. weightless. floating.

it's nice to be remembered.

you always want to know everything about everyone.

do you need me for anything?

you didn't hear anything last night, did you?

you're really nice. i knew you would be.

'invisible' doesn't always mean 'imaginary'.

history is known for sugarcoating.

second chances are not to be wasted. that's one of the most valuable lessons we can learn.

there are easier ways to get a date, you know.

i figured you would have left years ago.

i don't know who i am when i'm around ____.

resting on your laurels isn't as comfortable as it sounds.

we said we were going to keep in touch.

i think ____ likes you.

i can see you as a teacher.

tell me about _____. make me love it as much as you do.

you don't believe in ghosts?

you don't strike me as someone who's afraid of anything.

i'm scared all the time. of everything and everyone.

i'm not smiling, you're smiling.

no one likes a know-it-all.

i don't want my photo online.

i saw your doors were open.

were you watching me?

there is always a story. you taught me that.

if the people around you don't love you just as you are, find new people.

you don't have to show me you love me. i know you do. i've always known it.

don't hold onto old love so hard you forget to live. it's not the only love you'll ever have.

you really walk the walk, don't you?

you don't seem to know how to say goodbye.

isn't that what you were wearing last night?

you're not going to see me for a long time.

would you like to see where i grew up?

i have the strangest feeling that i've been here before.

this is like the local version of 'six degrees of kevin bacon'.

i feel like an accident waiting to happen.

___ couldn't stand to see me happy.

you thought you knew my whole story, didn't you? everyone does.

you need to let go of all this.

it's about the love you give, not the love you get.

you're a sight for sore eyes.

you didn't fail me.

i want to hug you. is that weird?

there's something in the air tonight. do you feel it?

there's a lot to be let go of.

i had a dream about you last night.

i know i'm not an easy person to get to know.

just to be clear, i'm going to kiss you later.

you always wanted to be like ____, didn't you?

i didn't want you to know. not ever.

you were supposed to protect me. that was your one job.

you can't kill me. i died a long time ago.

look after ____ for me.

you don't have to do this alone anymore.

eventually, we all have to choose.

i'm not sure i remember how to be myself anymore.

'going' doesn't mean 'all gone'.

not everything has to be real to be true.

i don't know what it is you do, exactly.

my soul still needs to fly.

[ladyfallon]

OK so I've slept and spent time thinking about last night's Elimination Chamber. People may disagree with my views but hey that's the great thing about maturity - you can respect other opinions even if you don't agree with them. So here we go:

Women's Chamber - we knew Jade would appear. I still think Naomi is too predictable and is a scapegoat for Bianca who wanted to get away from Jade to been dominant in the singles scene but couldn't do it without getting rid of Jade and implicating Naomi. I'm not happy that Naomi wasn't able to compete and I still believe she's being punished for the walkout with Sasha. I feel like there's more potential for a bigger feud with Bayley and Roxanne but they may push for Alexa and Roxanne. I am not happy about Alexa being pinned by Morgan either. Don't bring people back if you're going to allow them to be pinned like that. However, I did enjoy seeing Bianca whip the hell out of Morgan. As for the winner - I am not a fan of Bianca but I am glad Liv didn't win.

Women's tag match - nice to see Trish perform to a home crowd in front of her kids. Definitely good to see Tiffany Stratton working with her too. I'm hoping she starts to get more recognition from fans instead of some of the nasty stuff the IWC have said about her. Her athleticism needs to be recognised instead of saying she's trying to copy Charlotte.

Sami vs Kevin - in a word, BRUTAL. My heart was in my mouth for Sami this whole match. I'm sick of whiny Kevin. He moans about situations of his own making and sounds like a kid in primary (elementary) school "you can't be my friend because you're his friend". I was proud of Sami using the barbed wire chair though. Proof that a man pushed too far can fight on a darker level. I was relieved to see the return of Randy Orton but so annoyed that he was stopped from using his punt kick. REALLY?!?! You let Rollins do his stomp which he royally fucked up on Roman at the Rumble but won't let Orton do a move he has more control over?

Men's Chamber - Drew getting pinned first I'm not sure about. Okay it might set up a new feud with Priest but I feel they made Damian look weak here.

THE MAN QUALIFIED BEATING BRAUN STROWMAN AND JACOB FATU FFS!!!!

Why let Logan Paul pin him? It makes no sense. However, I am glad the douche nozzle was eliminated by Punk. Talking of which, the feud with Rollins will definitely culminate into something special at Wrestlemania. The way he cost him the opportunity after Punk got rid of him was brilliant. My only question is will they allow Punk the honour of main eventing night one in a match that will equal the Hell in a Cell he had with Drew? Which brings me to John Cena.

Cody makes his choice - so after the men's Chamber we saw Cena and Rhodes exchange mutual respect. Then the Rock arrived with Travis Scott (though I'm unsure why he was involved). Cody telling Rock to go fuck himself was entertaining on so many levels. It's like watching your little kid swear 😂 But we all knew that Cody would need to fight a heel if he wouldn't be one. We just didn't expect it to be squeaky clean kid's favourite John Cena. Fans screamed for years that they wanted him to turn and he's done it in spectacular style. Joining forces with The Rock made great cinema. Honestly, I laughed at Michael Cole swearing on commentary saying kids look up to Cena. He does realise those kids grew up and were looking to see that very unexplored darker side too. They cry for Cena to turn was heard and ignored for so long. With little time left to make it happen, he's chosen that time is now and I can't wait to see how this unfolds.

[tame-a-messenger]

Since the sit com live is so close, what are your main predictions before watching? Do you think it’s gonna be good, who do you think is gonna break the most, and stuff like that

OOOO FUN!!

I think it's going to be the best Live they've done in recent time!

I really believe in Syd and Olivia as the main writers, anytime they've been involved with writing things with Smosh it's always my favorite content (I've watched Smosh videos and ended up thinking it was better than usual and of course their names are always attached <3)

From what Syd + Olivia said;

Keith & Angela are going to have long dialogue with hard words, so they will probably be getting things wrong and switching somewhat frequently

They also said Amanda & Shayne are probably going to break often based on how much improv and wild que cards they'll get.

I'm thinking

Chanse will break a lot because of Krungle

Damien & Noah will break over Dominic and Sebastian

Anthony is going to break a lot purely based on him not acting too much the last couple years (he's also going to be having too much fun!)

For who's going to break the most I'm thinking Keith, Chanse and Anthony? They seem the giggly-est to me :D (I can't wait to see the tally of breaks after!)

MOVING ONTO PREDS!!

REALISTIC PREDIDICTIONS

The Chosen's are going to be in-between storylines as a sort of "Ad Break" I'm guessing they'll be doing the Live voting segments

Martha x Dominic kiss

Krungle flirting with all the cast and saying some VILE pick up lines

Young Sebastian is going to blow someone up (light someone on fire?)

UNREALISTIC PREDICTIONS

Musical break? like they break into song at some point (possibly romantic)

Benny having Homosexual tendencies

Martha revealed to be a lesbian (I'm thinking there's going to be something romantic going on with her and one of the other main characters)

Martha x Krungle reciprocated flirting (see above^)

Young Sebastian having a kid crush on one of the main 4 (main 4 = Benny, Dominic, Martha, Kevin) NON RECIPROCATED !!

The show ends with Kevin getting his birthday party, and his birthday cake setting off Sebastian's contraption(?) and the screen cuts to black as explosion sounds go off with screaming :D

I won't be able to watch it live so let me know if I got anything right!

The biggest thing I'm excited for is everyone being together! It's never happened with all of the cast in this era!

[coimbrabertone]

Formula One Was Good Actually?

Yes.

I can't believe it either, but I did actually enjoy the F1 race this weekend.

Okay, so, just going to get the elephant out of the room now - the fact that Lando Norris won instead of Max Verstappen is doing a lot of heavy lifting here, but it's not just because of that - and now that I've said that, I'm going to talk about why I enjoyed F1 yesterday at the 2024 Miami Grand Prix.

Full disclosure, I didn't watch the sprint and it doesn't sound like I missed much.

In the race, however, something interesting happened...Max didn't break the field right away. He pulled a bit of a gap on Leclerc, yes, but Piastri in third was quick, and he managed to overtake Leclerc for second pretty early on, even started gaining.

Once Max pit, it was Piastri in the lead by a pretty comfortable margin, then Sainz, then Norris. I tuned into the race around this point since NASCAR at Kansas - also a banger of a race, I might get into that later actually - was in a rain delay. Piastri and Sainz made their pitstops, Lando was actually going quick - IIRC he had the fastest lap at this point - but still, it looked to me like Max had a clear path to the lead for the umpteenth time.

Kevin Magnussen, attempting to overtake hometown driver Logan Sargeant, hit the Williams and sent him into the barrier gearbox first. Logan was out on the spot, Kevin continued, and the safety car came out.

Now, maybe Bernd Maylander was just used to slotting in ahead of Max Verstappen - and can you blame him after these last three years? - but the safety car picked up Max in second, while Lando was free to run to the delta. Everyone knew he was going to make a free pitstop at this point, but with the rest of the field stuck behind the safety car, the question became...is Lando going to put a hole lap on the field?

Well, fortunately or unfortunately, race control waved the field by the safety car before any shenanigans could occur, so when Lando made his stop and came out on fresh hards, he caught the safety car with the rest of the field directly behind.

This is where things got fun.

On the restart, full disclosure, I thought Lando blew it and let Max Verstappen get too close...only for the Red Bull to fail to get the pass done on the start-finish straight. Lando kept the lead...and pulled away for the rest of the race.

Meanwhile, Verstappen spent the first part of the post-SC portion of the race breaking out of Leclerc's DRS range, while behind, Piastri and Sainz where showing that DRS wasn't a free pass this time out. And that's really what I liked about this race - the fact that, lap after lap, Sainz would get DRS on Piastri and would try and pass going into turn eleven...and it wouldn't be enough.

Unfortunately, Sainz eventually just decided to barge his way through and sent Piastri into the pits for a new front wing and fresh tyres, but the idea was there. DRS was an overtaking assist, but it wasn't a free overtake - and that's how I believe it should be.

That being said, as Piastri showed once he was on fresh tyres, a faster car could get by, so he charged through the likes of Albon and Ricciardo, taking fastest lap and eventually finishing thirteenth after having come out of the pits nineteenth. Sainz would get a five second penalty post race.

We had a new winner in Lando Norris, the winner started from fifth on the grid, it was a Grand Prix in the United States at a pleasant afternoon timeslot for me, and for the first time, it felt like it lived up to the hype of Miami.

Now there was also another thing, and it's so divisive that I'm not even sure if I should talk about it in this blog, but it's that Donald Trump was in attendance. He was a guest of Muhammad Ben Sulayem and Liberty Media, they took him through the McLaren garage, he posed with Zak Brown outside the garages, and he took a photo with Ben Sulayem and Lando Norris post-race. Not only that, but David Croft, in his race winning call went "On a weekend where McLaren has welcomed an ex-President into their garage, it's Norris who trumps Verstappen!"

So...in the eyes of some people, Norris' first win is forever going to be associated with a divisive ex-President who is one: subject to various legal proceedings in a number of states, and two: is running for office yet again. I hate that for Norris.

I'm not getting into the politics, I'm not making a judgment either way, please don't use this as a place to rant about your particular political views, I'm just saying it sucks that, a day after this guy's first win, I'm still seeing people talk about a guy who was a guest in the paddock rather than the guy who actually won the race.

It must suck for your first win to be at the center of people's political and moral arguments one way or another. I wish it wasn't a topic of conversation coming out of this race.

So yeah, I got to watch an F1 race I enjoyed for the first time in awhile, I even watched some of the post-race content, and by the time that was wrapping up, it was time for NASCAR.

I really like 1.5 mile triovals and Kansas is one of the best ones. We had moments of three, four, and even five wide in that race, and at the end of it all, we got the closest winning margin in NASCAR history. 0.001 seconds for Kyle Larson in the #5 HendrickCars Chevrolet over Chris Buescher in the #17 Castrol Edge Ford Mustang. I was rooting for Buescher, I desperately wanted Ford to get their first win of the season, but seeing that, I just had to throw my hands up and say it was a good race.

So, while there wasn't any MotoGP or Indycar this weekend, F1 and NASCAR managed to give me a pretty good Sunday of racing. I'm pleasantly surprised and I'm glad I can say that.

I hope McLaren can keep the forward momentum going and actually challenge Red Bull somewhat consistently, and I hope Ford can snap their winless streak in NASCAR sometime soon.

[dalekofchaos]

Why I hate Cody Rhodes

Ya know, for a longtime, I just couldn't think of it, but there was something about Cody that I just can't bring myself to like him. Here's why.

As he started in WWE, he was a midcarder at best. Showed promise in Legacy, shined as the dashing and excelled as undashing and lol Stardust happened. Then he rebuilt himself on the independents, formed a friendship with The Elite and helped build AEW and finally completed his goal. All that sounds good on paper, so why the dislike?

Cody to me, is one of the most disingenuous people in the wrestling business. He talks like a snake oil salesman. He workshops his promos and just sounds phony every time he talks. He desperately wanted to be like John Cena, the face that ran the place. He and Brandi wanted to be HHH and Stephanie so fucking bad in AEW and it blew up in their faces. He has to use the memory of Dusty Rhodes to get over. He had to use his friendship with Kevin Owens to get taken care of by the Bucks. He needed The Elite to build his stock. He needed the Rhodes Family and The Elite, because on his own, Cody is NOTHING!

On Brandi. She was a heel while her husband was the top face of the midcard and ran the worst faction in AEW history. But oh she's a face when she's in Cody's entourage. "WHO TOLD YOU IT WAS OPEN MIC NIGHT, BITCH?" then she threw water in Shaq's face. Then she got pregnant and everyone cheered! Despite that, she had to be the center of attention, whether in the woman's division or Cody's feuds. Then Cody had the most ridiculous, carny and overbloated feud between himself and Anthony Ogogo where he markets Brandi and their mixed baby. He did it! Cody ended racism…..while racially antagonizing a British black man.

Then Cody and Brandi did a fucking kayfabe breaking reality show. Then Brandi set Cody’s back on fire. That happened. “That’s what you get for that stupid neck tattoo, babe”

Then the fucking Dan Lambert feud happened. When Dan fucking Lambert is more over and more cheered than this alleged babyface and his wife, it’s time to pack up and go home. It was absolutely fucking ridiculous.

The difference between Dusty and Cody is, when Dusty speaks to you, you believe in him. He makes you feel good about yourself and gets you fired up! When Cody speaks, he's condescending and talks down to you.

To me Eddie Kingston, Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens represents the common man and closest thing to the American Dream aka Dusty's legacy than his own son.

Despite how much he loves Dusty and tries to emulate him, Cody comes off more like the love child of Ric Flair and Jeff Jarrett than Dusty Rhodes.

This is why Cody's refusal to turn heel baffles me so much. He is the perfect disingenuous smarmy heel. He even has Brandi as the perfect heel valet. He has bleached blonde hair like Gorgeous George and Flair. This clown even dresses up as Homelander. Unless Cody is a closeted MAGA, there is no way he doesn't know or understand that Homelander is the fucking villain, you can't tell me he doesn't lack this much self-awareness.

This is why his refusal to turn in AEW was ridiculous.

He got booed out of the fucking building like he was forced down cookie cutter Roman babyface. His own belt was thrown back at him. Him and Brandi had get off my TV heat to the point where Dan Lambert got cheered over them. Seriously, his AEW run was weird.

If he stayed in AEW? He should've turned heel. Embrace the EVP/Founder mentality. Use your power as EVP to get rid of the stipulation of being unable to challenge the AEW World title. Become an insufferable power couple with Brandi. Unite The Elite and run the goddamn place.

If Cody had any self-awareness, he’d stay The American Nightmare and own that shit. A rich guy whose greatest achievement is being born to a great man, teaming up with another rich guy whose only achievement is having a billionaire father, booking himself to be champion in a fixed game by "beating" self made men. His father was a son of a plumber and lived the American dream… he is a shining example of the nightmare everyone else has to live through. You can't write a better heel story.

And goddamn. You already have the perfect heel story in WWE. "I ran the revolution, but I sold out to the fed and became world champion" He brings out his wife as the perfect bitchy unlikable valet and brings out an entourage and Cody acts like Homelander. Someone who acts nice and like the good guy, when in reality he's this obnoxious self-centered prick.

So yeah, when the chips are down, I just can't bring myself to like Cody cause of how phony and disingenuous he is and how he refuses to embrace the perfect unlikable heel.

Also #Kevinowensisright

[ultimate-marysue]

I want to ask people to please please accept nuanced characters and not be a bitch about it. I've already seen so many crazy takes and I don't know if I can handle the death of media literacy right now. We've been through this in AFTG, let's not bring that energy to TSC.

For those who have read the book, examples under the cut.

Let's start with the fandom's favorite scapegoat: Thea Muldani. "She thought Jean was a whore sleeping with the defense line". That's what she was told and what Kevin and Jean allowed her to believe. Context is important: Thea was there because she just found out her team (and she wasn't involved at all with the mafia part or Riko's torture) had lied to her about her boyfriend's injuries. She obviously couldn't believe it because, would you!?? And when she sees Jean she's instantly on his side asking what happened to him. She's heartbroken when he doesn't answer and tells her to just believe what Kevin tells her. You can tell she cared about her little duckling and was horrified with what happened under her nose.

Then Kevin. Kevin is the recipient of Jean's unrequited love and that's not his fault. Hell, there's a lot of chances he didn't even know about it, Jean was the closest thing he had to a friend. He didn't seduce and trick Jean for his own benefit, he tricked his friend to survive and regretted ever since. He knew Jean wouldn't run, he knew Jean would have tried to stop him if he told him. It wasn't fair for Jean, but it was Kevin's only chance. I thought this was obvious. Jean is entitled to hate him, but the audience should know better than mischaracterize him like that.

Jeremy and the Trojans are the closest we have to a normal pov. Their way of handling Jean's trauma is not going to be like the Foxes'. They try not to pry too much, to offer him distractions and accommodations. They honestly do as well as they can. The people saying they're so pushy and annoying???? My bestie in Christ you'd probably handle it way worse.

I just think that we as a fandom should appreciate how good Nora's character writing is. Most characters are not fully evil (and those who are you can understand how they turned into monsters most of the time), but they fuck up. Sometimes they fuck up unknowingly, sometimes they fuck up because they don't know better, sometimes they fuck someone over because it's their only way out, sometimes the circumstances get in the way.

That doesn't make things better for the characters that get screwed over. Jean is entitled to his complicated feelings over Kevin. Aaron is allowed to not understand why his brother killed his mother. Just because the current narrator's pov makes it obvious for the audience doesn't mean the characters inside the book have the info and knowhow to do better.

TSC made me love Kevin even more because I'm a sucker for for imperfect victims. I hate the IRL narrative that in order to deserve sympathy you have to be purely the most victimized victim of them all. Kevin had to step over Jean to get out of his situation. Kevin had to witness the abuse, unable to do anything about it. Kevin is a bitch to his teammates and endangers them just by being in their team. He also loves them fiercely and forces them to keep on living.

It's complicated. And if you can't handle nuanced and complex characters please just keep your incorrect opinions to yourself??? Like why is everyone so comfortable admitting publicly they don't understand how to analyze realistic traumatized characters??? Why would you admit you can only see in black and white?? "Well if you're a victim and a good guy then you would never ever do something not nice. Gotcha!" That's how you sound.

[pyrepostings]

"Comrades don't do that to comrades. Enemies do that to prisoners." and/or Dragon AU!

"Comrades don't do that to comrades. Enemies do that to prisoners."

This is my most recent wip and it's in the limbo of Canon-Until-It-Rubs-Up-Against-Other-Planned-Events-Wrong. But so far the backstory is Kevin is in a paramilitary regiment that the local crown is afraid of, and tensions rise, Kevin's captured/tortured/escapes. Plot progresses. Kevin lashes out during an Inconvenient PTSD Episode during another spike in tensions, Is deemed to be unfit for service at this time/needs someone watching him/Julian has too many things to deal with to watch one person personally, and is put under guard.

Kevin does not Take This Well, and sees it as another betrayal (the first being his capture/torture) and develops a very strong "If you're not helping me escape, you're a traitor to me and now my enemy" mindset.

The following is part of the lead-up to an escape attempt:

Kevin got up from the bed and started pacing the tiny room. It had already been made clear to him he wouldn't be allowed outside without an escort, and he had no interest to be the prisoner they paraded around, so the anxious fidgeting was only partly an act. It wasn't long for Cody to notice. "Hey, man, are you alright?" He actually sounded concerned. With any luck it was really genuine. "I'm fine. I'm only being held captive, nothing new really." Oh for the love of fuck, pick up on that sarcasm correctly. Kevin stopped, and stood facing away from the guard, slouching so to pull at the hair on the back of his head. He heard the book close. "Scotty-" Kevin bit back a retort at the nickname he had made clear he didn't want anyone else tainting more than it already had been. He had to be personable here, had to lull his captor into remembering when they were allies. Focus on making him realize that he was hurting a friend. This might be a good sign actually. "You know Why this is happening, right?" "I know I'm not allowed to leave. I know I've been stripped of my gear. I know there's a rotating guard watching me eat, sleep, and breathe. I know you're reporting to the lieutenant, the man who pinned me down and tied my hands together a week ago. There doesn't need to be a Why. Comrades don't do that to comrades. Enemies do that to prisoners." Kevin turned around as he uttered the last sentence. Cody looked like he was having trouble replying to that. "We're not trying to hurt you, Julian means for the best-" Kevin huffed and turned away again. "You don't really believe that. Or, maybe you do, and that's the problem." "I'm sorry, I don't know how to convince you." Kevin hummed a note, pretending to think for a moment. "Cody, would you keep a secret for me, if I asked?" "I don't know. I guess it depends-" "Or would you report everything to the lieutenant regardless of my wishes?" "It depends, Scotty. I can't promise without knowing what I'm promising." "It's not a plan to escape. It's not a plan to hurt anyone. It's not malicious, but I have my reasons. Please, Cody." He let that statement hang in the air. Let the guard think it over. "Ok, I promise to keep your secret. What is it?" Kevin went to the shelf and pulled out a pack of cards from a basket arranged on it, and sat opposite Cody at the table. "I want to play cards."

Dragon AU

hehe this is probably my kinkiest one lol. CW noncon, eggpreg, mentions of disordered eating, vibes of incest

The overall World Lore/setup changes the most in this one too. There is a kingdom of dragons conquering the world, and Kevin's regiment is fighting them directly, with more help from the crown than they ever get in canon (they're like an even further reaching Scout regiment in this one honestly. Really flattens that aspect. Good thing that part's not the focus in this one)

In one battle, Kevin catches the eye of a dragon general, and is captured as a gift to that general's lord. Cue defiant sex slave tropes. Cue several escape attempts and subsequent punishments. Cue slowly breaking down the pet through pain and drugs and brute force until he actually starts to let it all happen.

And then let him get rescued.

But of course, it can't be that easy. Not if we can't fit some ~Eggpreg~ in there.

Once Kevin starts actually submitting, Lord Aloskos uses him as an incubator, you know the drill. There's some dragon magic to handwave some of the practicality issues. The main difference between my take on the trope and most of what I've seen is I don't really care for the oversized belly aspect? Just doesn't do it for me ig. This is Plot Relevant though because it means he's rescued while eggnant and has to figure out how to Tell Julian that the reason he's been Sick since rescue is he has a clutch of their enemy's children in him, and that he brought them into the center of a magically protected region. And also he wants to keep them.

Cue Wary But Supportive Julian. Cue Magically Breastified Cis Male Kevin. Cue Growing Up Montage with light child soldier vibes for about 6 hatchlings.

But of course, we can't just Let It End There. Aloskos Returns, and lays seige. Breaks through the barrier, lays waste to the city. Kevin tries to give himself up to end it, and ultimately it works. But Julian is captured too, as well as the hatchlings. Most of the hatchlings are sent away and our cast is reduced to Kevin, Julian Aloskos, and Ciarán the eldest hatchling. Quinn is introduced at some point in this arc.

I'm going to jump to what's probably the most kinky and get to the ~Incest Kink~. Kevin and Ciarán view themselves as dad and son, even if there's no actual genetic material between them. Aloskos wants to break down that connection as much as he can, so when Ciarán becomes Of That Age, Kevin is given to him as his only Outlet. And, well, it certainly does something to their abilities to compartmentalize.

Eventually, Julian is given to Ciarán, which is a blessing and a curse for everyone. This path isn't free of the Incest Vibes because while Julian never called himself any kind of Proper Family to the hatchlings, he still helped raise them, and still views them as Children Under His Care (though at this point they are teenagers at least)

Other captivity shenanigans happen. Hired human guard Quinn tells kevin off for eating outside of the servant's quarters which is the first domino spiral in a Disordered Eating arc that lasts the rest of captivity and into recovery. Aloskos burns new magical brands onto Kevin such as the Spell To Make Him Sing, which only accomplishes Kevin making every effort to Not Speak A Word Or Make A Sound Under Any Circumstances, and a spell to Knock Kevin Out Whenever He Wants.

All of this puts Kevin into so much distress that Ciarán finally stands up to Aloskos and kills him, taking his Father's titles and land and armies for himself, and kickstarting the Recovery Arc Proper.

I don't really have any specific WIP snippets for this one written, everything that's more than bulletpoints or daydreams is up on tumblr. You might be interested in this recovery arc piece about the collar?

[mememanufactorum]

Badger’s Best of 2023 sentence starters

* FEEL FREE TO SHARE AS YOU PLEASE, NO CREDIT NEEDED. CHANGE PRONOUNS OR ANYTHING ELSE AS DESIRED

All lines are from this video created by TheRussianBadger.

"I ACTUALLY EARNED ONE, MOTHERFUCKERS!"

"Those noises that were coming out of you were inhuman."

"You ever had a hotdog burger before?"

"You did NOT just come up with that word."

"I need to know if this was a riff or if this was an actual meal."

"I heard the word 'hotdurger' unprovoked."

"Dudes with nut allergies when I hit them in the head with a brick."

"YOU DIDN'T JUJU ON THE FUCKIN' BEAT."

"I don't misinform. I just lie."

"Did you just punch someone for all their coins?"

"I don't know, just blow 'em all up, I don't care."

"I just fucken hate you."

"STOP BLINDING ME, YOU ASSHOLE! I CAN'T SEE, YOU GOBLIN!"

"To the charge of wire fraud, you are pleading 'nuh-uh'?"

"Your honor, shut the fuck up. You wasn't even there."

"This conversation sounds like four raccoons with internet access."

"You wanna know how I got these GAINS?"

"I was driving through upstate New York and I saw a Tesla with the license plate 'I'M HIM'."

"That license plate made me laugh so hard that I walked up to his window and put a 12-gauge slug in his chest."

"You got me fucked up bro, I can't believe you would question if I'm real."

"Here's a picture of my nuts."

"Those are gonna be my dying words to my wife: I just want you to know… PS3 has no games."

"Chimichangas are a CIA psyop."

"If you put me in the cockpit of an apache I will Kevin Gates, put my hand on the dashboard, and start it."

"Boy I love having something with none of the same consistency as anything else in my sandwich in my sandwich."

"Dude I definitely love biting into my sandwich and then leaving with an entire pickle slice in my mouth."

"Own a musket for home defense since that's what the founding fathers intended."

"I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grapeshot. Tally ho, lads!"

"Well it's just straight up racism, and it's not even like an occasional racism, it's like, this is full blast firehose racism."

"It's the floodgate of racism! The Big Gulp of racism!"

"This shit will turn your pacemaker off."

"I point blanked that shit with a panzerfaust."

"Me going to Arby's after losing a $50,000 Marvel vs Capcom tournament."

"Me walking to the fridge to get my five day old caesar salad."

"Fresh caesar salad, already not a good start. Five days, dog."

"How does that predator missile work? Oh, you just go NYOOOOOOM."

"This Nyquil beatin' my ass, that is not THAT funny but, like, I can't stop laughing!"

"Y'all just verbally buzzered that man."

"I stole your girl, I stole your whip, I stole your shoes."

"You cannot land a KC-135 in a Kroger parking lot."

"As someone who lives in Tennessee, you can land a KC-135 in a Kroger parking lot."

"That's how I'm going to describe the size of our parking lots to Europeans without internet connections. We can land that in our parking lots."

"I call that my main menu tax."

"Bro, I can't hail a cab in Detroit for shit, bro."

"First bullet, Toyota Tacoma be like 'I ain't hear NOTHING. Y'all hear something?' Second bullet? Legalize nuclear bombs."

"Your voice literally has to wait in line to be heard."

"I'm gonna bomb your trailer park."

"Don't take advice from the dead guys."

"Smoking on that diabolical arch-necromancer pack. Those who don't ball would do well to steer clear."

"Do you know the word 'whermst'?"

"It's like where and for what purpose and why. Location, reason, background context in one word: Whermst."

"Did he just prefire me? Bro, go to jail."

"That's your first option for recourse?"

"Alcatraz, we ain't talking county jail. You're getting in there with the dementors."

"Stop calling the 3D avatar mommy."

"How do they fit this many flares in an airplane? It makes no sense. It's like a clown car but for fireworks."

"I'M SCREAMING ABOUT IT MOTHERFUCKER, STOP!"

"Hey what's up guys? I just bought a 1911 at a Red Lobster parking lot, AMA."

"Just kill me. Just take me to heaven. Just… Take me out of this reality."

"Heaven? BITCH, YOU GOING TO HELL!"

"Hey, fuckin' imagine getting friendly fired by a .50 BMG. Imagine."

"My client pleads oopsie-daisy."

"I'm sorry that your dog is not going to college now."

"Ay you ain't on your grind, son. You ain't on your bag."

"No one's Batman impression is bad."

"You sound like you're in an alley with a trench coat, what the fuck?"

"Oh my God, his Scooby-Doo villain is coming out again."

"Are you repairing our conversation?"

"Why is 'slime' such a funny yet affectionate nickname?"

"Get the fuck out of our shower."

"Why can't we just share the shower?"

"Enemy. Man. 300 meters. North. Fast. Fast. Fast."

"Fun fact: The TSA allows you to bring a live lobster through security."

"I myself have brought 432 lobsters through security."

"THAT'S THE FOURTH TIME YOU'VE SHOT ME!"

"SHUT UP! YOU JUST HAPPEN TO BE WHERE MY BULLETS ARE!"

"All units, be advised: My stummy hurt."

"Homie got the dog in him with that one."

"Pulled pork? Yeah I cranked my hog today too."

"How blessed are we that I can just log on to YouTube and the first video I see is 'Master Chief teaches you how to change the oil on your 2006 Nissan Murano'?"

"That went from 'funny' to 'demonitized'."

"If your state has 90 degree corners, you probably eat corn syrup on your pancakes."

"Why do you always say 'theoretically' and it's not at all theoretical?"

"You have the world's WORST EVERYTHING."

"My boy got the object permanence of a frog."

"That boy cooked the most rare steak."

"I gotta use the bathroom or something, bro. I gotta go to college or something. I can't be with these motherfuckers."

"He went behind the tree and my brain was like 'WHERE'D HE GO?'"

"Somebody buy me a stat reset, PLEASE!"

"You should not be legally allowed to commit crimes if you're listening to Lynyrd Skynyrd."

"I'm on my Super Mario Sunshine shit."

"Are you barking at me?"

"You might wanna be a LITTLE shidded right now."

"I'd trust Gengar with my kid."

"I didn't know he was chill like that."

"No. We are not putting a controller around somebody's neck and twisting it. It's a wireless controller, you can't even do that."

"And 45 is just a caliber."

"Ranch was made by California to keep the Midwest fat because they're scared of our power."

"I refuse to believe that Kranch is real."

"Alignment charts are for the governable. I grow corn in my yard."

"Tell me the name of God you fungal piece of shit."

"I'm pretty sure that was the most sacrilegious shit I've heard in my life."

"I will pass that to the higher ups – parentheses: I do not give a shit."

"This is getting a little too fast for my brain."

"You fuckers are at a pie eating contest and I'm just like, nah son. Free pie."

"I'm about to hit 'em with the Glock-no-jutsu, on God, bro."

"Regretting a free purchase is crazy."

"THEY'RE JUST POLYGONS!"

"I've had people call me things that I wouldn't even dare say to myself."

"Take five 5-Hour Energies and enter the forbidden hour of the day."

"Those responses do not surprise me at all. I definitely expected that kind of language."

"Bro, it's goof-a-clock right now."

"The moon already isn't real."

"You think I can't kill a fuckin' banana?"

"That was a little too much rage for a potassium transportation device. I didn't mean it. You full of electrolytes."

"I'm gonna eat pizza because I like the sauce on the pizza with the cheese on the pizza."

"I could not have killed him any harder."

"Don't make me make you say some out of pocket shit."

"I've been saying out of pocket shit all day."

"By sheer artillery alone, we should have tunneled our way to Atlantis by now."

"Yo, I don't know the Tom & Jerry lore, fuck you!"

"What if you wanted to go to heaven but God said to you, 'WE'RE GONNA TRY THIS WEEK'S CRUMBL COOKIE MENU'?"

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE TINNITUS, WHAT?"

"Is this like punching someone in the dark? Is it like a legal loophole?"

"There's only one of me in all the world. I am one in a krillion."

"If you're a chest sleeper, you're just a fuckin' psychopath, alright?"

[stabbyfoxandrew]

Ahh!!! I'm finally on time again for wip Wednesday! I'm so excited! I would love some Angel Neil.

(I loved the long snippet from last week but obviously I will love anything of any length you post)

WIP Wednesday (9/18) | Guardian Angel Neil AU (Part 235)

So he's going to once again get Bee's thoughts on the angel. He's going to make her tell the truth and admit one way or another if she thinks he's got a serious problem. (If she calls Neil an imaginary friend again, Andrew might bite her. No, no. He wouldn't bite Betsy. But he might light a fire in her office.)

See, Andrew ruled out Neil being a side effect after Monday morning. He'd come charging up here first thing during his nightmare-induced rampage, without taking his meds, and Neil was here waiting for him like always. Andrew's quite sure he's not actually psychotic, no matter what his teammates like to say. But he wants to check his notes against Bee's one more time.

This way, if he ever starts to doubt Neil again he can remind himself that Betsy thinks he's fine and that Kevin knows the Butcher's son. That's what he would need, reassurance from the two people he trusts most. God, how did Kevin Day end up on this list? Andrew digresses. The biggest problem with grilling Bee about this is Neil himself. Because Neil said he would stay as long as Andrew believed in him. If he were to overhear anything... Would he leave for good? Is he actually able to? Andrew does not want to find out.

Andrew realizes with a start that his cigarette is nothing but a tiny burned up nub between his fingers. He looks at it, annoyed, then flicks it into the bushes below. When he turns, Neil is staring from where he's propped on an elbow. Has he been staring this entire time? (Andrew thinks he could stare at Neil for days. That's beside the point.) He cocks a brow.

"You know, I'm right here." Neil says, looking amused. "That means you can actually talk to me instead of just thinking about me real hard."

Andrew flusters and bristles simultaneously. "Who said I want to talk to you?"

Neil laughs like Andrew's being stupid. "Your head is going to explode, Andrew. Or maybe mine is. I can't tell. But it's getting annoying, so just say something."

"I hate you."

"There you go." Neil smiles. "Let it out and stop pounding on the insane of my skull."

"Is that what it feels like when I think about you?"

Neil sighs, "Not always. Sometimes it's a little pinch. Maybe a tap on the forehead, a flick to the ear. But sometimes you get real... Thunderous."

"Thunderous."

"Yeah. Like I can't think because you're too busy thinking about me." Neil says, sounding only slightly accusatory. "You're doing it now. Want to tell me why?"

"You told me you don't come into Bee's office. Is that still true?"

"Of course."

"Isn't it the angel's right to know what's going on with me?"

Neil looks almost offended that Andrew thinks he'd eavesdrop. "No. I've told you before. Whatever you have to say to her is none of my business and I certainty don't care to hear what she thinks about me."

"Right. I know."

"Then why are you asking this again?" Neil asks suspiciously. "Should I be listening in on you for some reason?"

Oh fuck, time to backtrack.