#like i can’t read anything else yet because it’s just been book after book changing my life | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

imaginesfordifferentfandoms · 2 years ago

Text

You’re Losing Me

Click here for my masterlist.

Click here to add yourself to my taglist.

Prompt - ‘Every morning I glared at you with storms in my eyes. How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dying?’

Notes - I won’t lie I don’t know if House still has an active fandom but I just started watching it so have this, also the way this song was leaked like four hours ago and I immediatly jumped to google docs

It seemed impossible when you had first realised how you felt, falling in love with a man twice your age, a man who was your boss no less, it had been an impossibly bad, stupid idea. You hadn’t planned on acting on it, the man was meant to be your mentor but he was so unlike anybody you had ever met before, so bluntly honest, never beating around the bush, there was something so charmingly arrogant about how that you just couldn’t help but like.

So it went on for months, months where you silently pined for him, sneaking glances at him as he watched his soaps in his office, stealing moments together as he pulled you into an empty room as he avoided clinic duty and instead quizzed you on the latest patient. You had hoped that ignoring how you felt would just make your feelings go away, make you realise this was just a silly crush and yet nothing ever changed.

Nothing changed until the man started seeking you out more, he started to look to you first for answers, it was you he found first to talk about cases or music or whatever else came to his mind. He wasn’t open but he did begin sharing little pieces of himself with you, nothing overly personal to most people but when it was Gregory House sharing those tidbits they felt big, they felt important, like it was this closed off man's way of trying to open himself up, to give something in return for all you shared with him.

You knew as you spent more time with him that it wasn’t just a silly crush anymore, it wasn’t just some admiration that had gotten out of hand, you were falling for the man and you tried not to let yourself hope that he was falling for you too. Then you’d see him talking to Wilson, the two of them sat together, Wilson looking hopeful whilst House frowned, his eyebrows furrowing together before both their gazes found you and his frown turned into a small twitch of the lips.

Neither of you acted on it for a while but the pining and the tension eventually became too much for both of you. You couldn’t exactly say who snapped first, only that the case you had been working had lasted for an exhaustingly long week and you were both pent up with far too many emotions, add the bottle of something strong from his office and it wasn’t a surprise when you found yourself pressed against the wall with House’s lips on yours.

From there on nothing had been defined for a month or two, you both spent more time together, slept together, went for meals together, yet nothing was ever defined. It had driven you crazy, not knowing if House wanted something more from you or if you were simply a way to burn off steam after work.

Eventually you had given into your need to know, waiting until you were alone, you pulled against his chest, tucked up in bed together. You hadn’t been able to get the words out, mouth opening and closing, your fingers distractedly playing with him as you tried to collect your thoughts.

House never missed anything though and if he could read other people well without ever needing to meet them then he could read you like the words of his favourite book. He had been the one to start the conversation, telling you to say whatever you needed to say and listening as you stammered out the question of what were you.

House had paused, it wasn’t like he wasn’t expecting it, of course he had been waiting for it and yet he still had to pause. He had to remember all his conversations with Wilson, the ones where he had promised to give this a real go because his feelings were real. It wasn’t easy, he had closed himself off for years, never letting himself get attached, never letting himself fall.

Of course you came along and ruined that but he had never been able to find it in himself to be mad. He was glad it was you he got to try again with, he was glad it was you who showed him that he wasn’t totally ruined.

He may not have understood why you wanted to be with a man twice your age, a man who was explosive and closed off, a man who needed drugs just to make it through a day, a man who was so far beyond damaged he couldn’t remember a time he had been whole. He didn’t understand it but he wasn’t taking it for granted.

He told you as much and you let yourself fall a bit more for him at the honesty, at the trust he had given you. From there on, you hated how cliched it sounded, but everything just seemed to have fallen into place.

You went out together and called them dates, House let himself relax, stopped analysing every word he said, stopped debating whether he was enough for you and instead let himself slowly open himself up to you. You hadn’t been hurt the way House had, sure your last relationship had broken you for a while but you were trusting House to not do the same, you didn’t have the same insecurities so whilst you fell first it took House a little longer but he fell in love with you too.

It was good for the first few years, not perfect because nothing was ever perfect. You worked together and you went home together, sometimes that was too much, sometimes a case was too much and you couldn’t leave it at the door, instead dragging it in and letting it linger but everything always resolved itself, everything was good.

You fell hard and so did he. You moved into his place even after he offered to find somewhere else but you had just smiled at him and told him his house felt like home and you’d love to move in with him.

You couldn’t say how many nights had been spent with the two of you on his sofa, his arms wrapped around you with you against his chest, holding you close as you spoke softly to one another, how many nights had been spent listening to him play the piano that sat in the corner or listening to music filling the room after a long day where no words were needed.

It was good.

So where had things started to fall apart? When had that love turned into something else, something that seemed more for show than anything else. When had you gone from sitting in bed as House read aloud, the lamp lighting the room with a soft orange glow before the two of you drifted off in each other’s arms to you staying awake long after House had fallen asleep, staring into the silence and wondering what had happened, wondering if time was running out for you.

It had started with little things, things you hadn’t even noticed until months later. He brushed you off more, not just at work but outside too, suddenly your opinion didn’t seem as important. Then it escalated to him cancelling plans which evolved into him forgetting to cancel plans, leaving you sitting alone in a crowded restaurant, having to keep the tears out of your eyes as you left realising you’d been stood up again.

It was when the sympathetic looks came that you couldn’t bear it, not from the strangers around you but from Cameron, Foreman and Chase. Each of them had warned you away from him at the start, told you House just wasn’t a relationship guy but you had ignored them and it was worth it, it had been worth it for the best years of your life.

Their sympathetic looks hurt, they could see something wasn’t right but their’s weren’t the one that cut deep. That honour belonged to Wilson. House trusted that man more than anyone and to see his fond looks turn sad and sympathetic, that’s when it hurt.

The only person who couldn’t seem to see that things were falling apart was House himself. The man who notices everything, the man who sees the smallest thing and pieces together an entire puzzle without any other parts, the man who spots and obsesses over every anomaly failed to notice how tired you were. He failed to see the way you were sick, sick of being tired, sick of feeling unwanted, sick of questioning what you had done and why you weren’t good enough and where things had gone wrong and why he didn’t love you anymore.

You were sick and he couldn’t see it or maybe he just wouldn’t admit it. He still said the words I love you even as you frowned, wondering how he could so easily say those words when he couldn’t even see you in front of him, couldn’t see how you were dying from how much everything hurt.

How did he miss the pain and anger and grief in your eyes as you glared at him in the morning, him so easily going about his day whilst he ignored you, gave you a little bit but never what he used to. He smiled and joked in front of everybody, the others whilst knowing something was wrong never knowing the extent because not even House seemed to realise what was happening.

It had been years and you had wanted so much more with him, you wanted to give him everything and yet House seemed content stuck where you were, happy to stay frozen in time. You wanted to beg him, fall to your knees and plead with him to do something, to see that he was losing you despite how badly you had always wanted him.

It felt like your heart was twisting and stuttering, sometimes beating too quickly that you were afraid it was going to push you over the edge and sometimes beating so slowly you thought you were already dead.

You wanted him to notice, you needed him to notice, to do something to fix it. He was a doctor, he was the one who always noticed everything, focusing and giving it his attention until the problem was fixed but when he looked at you he didn’t see a problem because these days he never looked for long enough.

The thing was House had always been the one to understand you, to know what you were thinking without you ever needing to vocalise it, he used to be able to take one look and understand everything about you. Now though it was like you were a stranger to him.

You didn’t want to lose him, you didn’t want to be in a world where you didn’t love him anymore but you were tired and drained and just sad. Sure you may still fall asleep in the same bed but he never pulled you into him anymore, suddenly all the songs that he played sounded infinitely sadder and you nearly laughed at how you felt like those songs, becoming sadder and sadder as each day passed.

You had given him so much, you had never complained once about the drugs, accepting that was who he was, you had never given a second thought to his leg even when he tried to use it as an excuse to keep you from loving him, you loved his personality where most people struggled to even accept it.

You had given him the best of you and now it felt like everything was too far gone to bring back to life.

“Can I talk to you?” You asked softly as you stepped into House’s office, already having spoken to Cuddy and knowing you were doing what was best for you even if you did feel like your heart had exploded in your chest.

“Little busy right now.” He told you, barely taking his eyes away from the board in front of him, sparing you half a glance and missing the way your eyes were teary and red. “Can it wait?”

You took a shaky breath, wanting him to notice, wanting him to realise everything was broken. Where the man before you had once felt like home, had felt like he had been made by the universe for you to find, tied together with an invisible string to lead you to each other, now it felt like that string had been slashed, cutting off your blood flow and oxygen and stopping your heart all together.

“No, it can’t.” You said and watched as he huffed before turning to you, leaning against the desk to look at you and still not seeing something was wrong. Your lips quivered as you forced yourself not to cry, even as you felt the sting of tears returning. “I’m leaving.”

“You’re leaving?” He asked, raising an eyebrow at you, not seeming too alarmed.

“Yes, I’m leaving. I spoke to Cuddy and handed my resignation in and-”

“Wait a second, you’re leaving the hospital? Why? You love it here.” House said, his eyebrows knitting together as he tried to solve the puzzle in his head.

“I’m leaving New Jersey.” You interrupted his thought process, watching as he stared at you dumbly. “I already spoke to my parents, they’re letting me move back home for a little bit until I find something else but I’m leaving.”

“I don't understand.” He told you and it hurt, it hurt how genuinely confused he sounded. He really hadn’t figured it out, he hadn’t cared enough to notice everything had gone to pieces.

“I know you don’t.” You told him because it was all you could say, you knew he didn’t understand but he should, he should love you enough to see understand.

Do something, you pleaded in your head, say something, lose something, risk something, choose something, choose me.

You needed him to choose you, needed him to swallow his pride, to lose it for just a few minutes, risk being emotional, risk something, you needed him to choose you, all you wanted was for him to want you, to need you the way you needed him.

“So that’s it?” He said and your lips thinned as you fought back a sob.

Of course he wasn’t going to fight for you, of course he wasn’t going to choose you, not when he had been pulling away for so long without even realising it. Or maybe he did know what he was doing and he had just been seeing how long it would take for you to crumble and break.

“That’s it.” You forced out, somehow managing to keep the flood of tears from falling even as you felt the last of your heart stop.

“Right, well then, if that’s everything I have somewhere to be.” House told you coldly, not giving you a chance to say anything as he grabbed his cane and walked past you and out of his office, down the hallway without so much as glancing back.

Alone in his office you let the tears fall down, a hand to your mouth as you tried to muffle your sobs, not sure you’d be able to come back from this one. It hurt too much, all you had wanted was for him to fight for you and he didn’t even want to.

How had things gone so wrong?

Doctor Gregory House Taglist -

New character, use the link in my bio to add yourself

Thank you so much for reading!💜

944 notes · View notes

andkisses · 1 year ago

Text

♡ lovesick | enhypen ♡

ot7!enha headcanon: him realizing this feeling he has? is something he might want to pay attention to

♡ ot7 x gn!reader | wc. 615 total ♡ genres/tropes: fluff! he’s in love he just doesn’t know it ♡ mentions of/warnings: none ♡ a/n: little something for every member <3 first two above the cut, and the rest below ^^ inspired by taylor swift lyrics <3 i lowkey feel it doesn’t match the title but uh here’s wonderwall; this was also marginally proof read lol ♡ masterlist ♡

✧･ﾟ: *jungwon

everything is shinier now, brighter–jungwon almost can’t believe it. he wonders how could one person change everything? but there’s proof. he sees you in everything, the moon and the stars and the sun. you’re the birds singing, even the rain. and when he gets to hold you? he’s soft and delicate, like you’re the most precious thing the world–no, the universe has to offer. surely, this feeling will never go away, and jungwon’s okay with that.

✧･ﾟ: *heeseung

it hits him one random afternoon. heeseung’s not sure if it’s how the sun came down through the window or how you look sitting on the other end of the couch paging through a book. suddenly, he feels dizzy and the room is spinning, and you are at the center of it all, shining so brightly. and there’s this feeling in his chest unlike any other. it makes him feel sick, but it’s different. and, most terrifying of all, heeseung’s pretty sure he likes it.

✧･ﾟ: *jay

it takes bravery, sure, to be so close to you. you’re intoxicating, invigorating. at first jay feared it would be too much, but there was something–he couldn’t put his finger on it–that kept drawing him in. now, sitting here, listening to you talk about something with passion and light in your eyes and your hands drawing examples in the air, he thinks he knows what this feeling is. jay knows it will take a little more bravery to say out loud.

✧･ﾟ: *jake

he never thought it could be possible to see someone the way he sees you. you’re like a warm light, a glow where you are. jake never thought he could feel someone’s absence like he does yours, either. the coldness, how his thoughts chase after you. your smile, your laugh. you’re like an energy booster, nothing like anything else before. it causes a particular dizziness jake hasn’t been aware of before, and he’d like to know more.

✧･ﾟ: *sunghoon

the movie climax of the movie and all the drama plays out on the screen, but sunghoon can feel himself drifting off. he knows he won’t make it to the credits. he might not even make it through this scene. you’re already asleep next to him, head on his shoulder, hand on his arm. the rise and fall of your breaths, the sweet smell of your perfume. sunghoon isn’t sure if the feeling in his chest is because he’s tired, or something else entirely. as he drifts off, he decides he could get use to it.

✧･ﾟ: *sunoo

he’s certain you could out do any star. sunoo has met a lot of people, but none like you. he isn’t sure how you do it either, it seems to be so natural. yet you’re intriguing, creating your own kind of gravity. and even though he can’t name this feeling–or, he’s too shy to name it yet–sunoo knows he would be okay if he were a satellite caught in your orbit. because even if he doesn’t want to admit it yet, sunoo is already very comfortable with this feeling.

✧･ﾟ: *niki

it’s in the way his hands rattle when you’re near, or how niki’s breath likes to skip. the way his heart beats so badly, so loudly that he’s certain you can hear it. what is this feeling? he’s got to do something about it, because he feels like he is noticing everything about you, and he’s never seen anyone like this before–the way you fix your hair, your fashion, the way you laugh. that is what gets niki the most–whenever he gets you to laugh, and he knows, above everything else, he’d do anything to keep you happy.

218 notes · View notes

guiltyreverie · 1 year ago

Text

Remedy

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3

Pairing: Gojo x reader

Content tags: enemies to lovers; slow burn; afab!reader; clan issues

Warnings: slow burn, gojo being a dick (even geto can’t save him here), enemies to lovers, arranged marriage, gojo dating around, pain :)

Word count: 6.5k

“Say something. Anything,”, he grasps your hands and you push his hands away, almost disgusted at him for behaving this way, “I’m begging you.”, he looks at you with a defeated expression.

“You’re un-fucking-believable, Gojo.”, you almost spit at him but you take a step back away from him to avoid such immaturity and shake your head.

It’s been almost two weeks since you went to Gojo’s house and he finally got the stick out of his butt to realize just how badly he screwed up - it took him two weeks to notice, mind you.

“Are you always going to be an immature asshole, insulting me whenever we disagree, Satoru?”, you aren’t yelling yet, but with all your pent up anger and worse, hurt, it’s going to be only a matter of time.

He interrupts your well prepared monologue, “No-“

“Shut it.”, he immediately shuts up and looks at you like a kicked puppy. “I’m talking now, no interruptions, you hear me?”, he nods along afraid of what you’d do if he actually interrupted you again.

“I did not deserve to be treated like- like a himbo in front of your entire family!”, you stutter, your anger consuming you to the point all your prepared insults and thoughts just crumble and you aren’t able to form coherent thoughts. You take a deep breath and run your hand through your hair: “All I wanted was for you to open up because I care about you and I worry for you,”, Satoru widens his eyes and opens his mouth only for him to close it again like a fish when you give him a ‘don’t you dare speak’ look, “but even that seems to bite me in the ass with you, Gojo. I’m done with whatever kind of friendship we had, do what you want, I’m out of here.”

“Y/n”, he grabs your arm to hold you back from turning around but you quickly shake it off.

Your steps halt for a second and it seems like all your inner turmoil just disappeared and you’re left with some sort of clearance: no anger, no hurt, no frustration, nothing.

You coldly glance at him and shake his arm off then keep walking - a silent goodbye.

He wanted to run after you, catch you, you were slipping off his grasp but he knew if he didn’t respect your wishes now, he’d completely lose you and there would be absolutely no way you’d ever forgive him.

With every step you took you felt the tension in your shoulders ease and when you finally stepped outside the nagging sense of freedom was gnawing at your skin as if it was finally breaking free you suddenly could breathe the breath you were holding in and relief washes over you - the chapter about Gojo Satoru was over what you fail to realize is that it’s an entire book about him

Saying goodbye to your feelings towards Satoru was easier than you had initially thought - maybe you were in denial or in a state of apathy but it helped immensely.

Even when you finally see him after a few days your body gave out no reaction - no thumping heartbeat, no goosebumps, nothing; you were so indifferent towards him, towards anything really, you had become a mere shelter of what you had once deemed as yourself but there was no changing it - at least some of his comments were true it seems.

He’d glance at you several times even when somebody else was talking to him and despite your best attempts to ignore him you still feel him staring; it irks you, makes you feel naked, you knox he’s trying to read you; figure out what’s going on im that pretty little head of yours and it’s only a matter of time before you break under his excruciating stare.

Your mouth opens before you can even stop yourself: “What?”, he is startled - he didn’t expect you to actually talk to him first.

“You’re pretty.”, your eyes widen in surprise and you flick his forehead.

“Compliments aren’t going to make me forgive you.”

“It was worth a shot.”, that boyish smile reappears, the same smile that makes you feel giddy and almost always makes you want to drop down your guard and let him in; for a split second you think that smile is worth your ruin and you have to shake yourself off of those thoughts, let the rationality take over again otherwise you might catch yourself falling into a hole you can’t come out of.

You shake your head no, your eyes distrusting, to someone like him you probably just look like a scared bunny but you didn’t care, you let him in once and see where it got you.

“Anything important you need to discuss?”, you stare blankly at him.

“Hmm, something important...”, he grabs his chin contemplatively, “well if I say ‘you’, how would you react?”

“Gojo, be serious for once in your life!”, you scoff at him.

“I am.”

“No, you aren’t.”, you roll your eyes.

“See, y/n, that’s your problem, you always assume what’s going on in my head and why we can never see eye to eye.”, he’s starting to whine.

“I wouldn’t have to, if you’d just say what you think for once in a while,”, you sigh, “but as we have seen at the dinner, sometimes I really don’t want to know what’s going on in your head.”

“C’mon, sweetheart, I wasn’t being serious, I just wanted to rile you up a little.”

“Well you seriously hurt me, so I guess you did rile me up in some way.”, you want to forgive him, but the part of you that was always at odds with Gojo, the part that was always insulted by Gojo couldn’t; The two of you don’t know how to be friends with each other and maybe it should just stay that way, and hopefully someday you’ll become acquainted enough to get married.

The odds weren’t looking good for the both of you and it would always just be a matter of days or weeks when you’d just start to fight again, that’s how you guys always were and how you’d always will be, you can’t deny this.

“I’m sorry, it was never my intention to actually hurt you.”, Gojo grabs your face and looks at you with so much intensity and honesty, add his height to the equation and you can’t help but feel intimidated by him, “look at me, y/n, look at me and tell me I’m lying. We both know I’m not.”.

The two of you stare at each other for what feels like minutes but you don’t know how much time has actually passed and you sigh.

“You’re on very thin ice, Gojo.”

Smooch - you felt a wet and warm sensation; Satoru had just kissed your cheek sloppily, you’re too shocked to even react - He had kissed you; suddenly you’re unable register anything other than your face heating up and the inner little devil voice in your head craving more of this.

When you finally manage to pull yourself together you push him away stunned and flustered: “Gojo! Have some shame, won’t you.”, he grins that boyish smile once again and you can feel the ice on your heart thawing little by little - a sense of doom overcomes you. You hate this, you hate him, you hate yourself for letting him crawl back to your heart.

You take a step away from him, a bubble of anxiety rises within you, you need to breathe, a task which you find really hard to do when you catch yourself once again staring at his blue eyes that look at you with the same anxiety you’re feeling - were those his or your feeling reflecting in his irises? You weren’t sure, maybe both.

“Look, you screw this up and it’s final, no more redemption, apologies or whatever else you come up with are gonna work anymore.”, you look at him trying to read his stoic expression but as always; it’s hard to find out what’s going on inside his head. “I’m tired of opening up just for it to bite me in the ass afterwards.”

“I know and I promise, I did not mean to hurt you.”

You nod, he deserves the benefit of the doubt, at least for your own sanity and your future together.

To your surprise he did seem to pull himself together and although you two still bicker at any chance you get or he ends up teasing and annoying the hell out of you, it was different than before - it was more lighthearted, less intense, you liked this dynamic between you. You guys hang out even more together - Haname even complains about how he is taking up all of your time and in response he ends up bragging about that towards her and you end up scolding him for his immaturity.

Sometimes the three of you would hang out together but other times Satoru would drag you out by yourself or Haname would explain she had enough of him for a while and needed some girl time and right now was one of those occasions.

Haname and you end up sitting in a nice restaurant and enjoying each other’s company, god you loved her so much.

“Yknow, I’m not trying to be all sentimental but remember when we ate here for the first time?”, she grins at you happily, you can’t help but roll your eyes at her playfully.

“God, you sound like a 80 year old lady reconciling with her long lost friend.”

“I mean, you do have been kinda M.I.A. these weeks.”, she wiggles her eyebrows like a mad woman and you scoff.

“I have not.”

“You have.”

“How have I been M.I.A.?”, you gasp in surprise - you had fairly often talked to her the past few days.

“Uh-huh”, she hums, “baby, even when you’re with me, you’re still hung up thinking about your boyfriend.”, she grins, a glint in her eyes, that tells you she knows exactly what’s going on inside your head - even without telling her.

You scowl at her: “He’s not my boyfriend.”, and try to save at least some of the dignity that your cheeks starting to flame up as if you had just entered hellfire are taking away from you.

She looks at you with a pointed look: “I didn’t even mention his name.”

If you thought your face couldn’t get any redder than now, you were proven horribly wrong now.

“It’s not like that.”, you roll your eyes, a little pang hits you in the chest, “he doesn’t even feel the same way”, you shrug and gulp down the tension that’s building up in your throat. “We’re just facing the fact that we’re going to end up together either way and decided it might be better to get along instead of hating each other’s gut.”

“What I’m hearing is, you like him.”, she smiles at you.

You nod hesitantly.

“Well, how are you so sure, he doesn’t feel the same?”, she looks at you, her gaze clearly saying ‘don’t assume what other people are thinking’

You shake your head at her and gesture to the couple a few seats behind you: “That’s why.”

She turns around to the spot you pointed at before she gasps loudly, catching the attention of several people in the room, including Satoru, who was sitting in front of a pretty girl and then smiled at you guys before focusing back on the girl in front of him; she seemed to pay no attention on everyone but him.

“Why. Are. You. Letting. This. Happen.”, she hits your arm in between each word.

You smile at her sadly, you had already accepted this situation but it still felt like salt being rubbed into a wound you didn’t even know was still open. “Just because I like him, doesn’t mean I’ll stop him from finding someone he likes.”, you shrug once again and stab the fork into your steak. “We’re arranged, Haname, I can’t force him to like me romantically.”

She looks at you as if you had gone insane: “And you think that makes it ok for him to see other girls without your permission?”

You chuckle coldy at her: “No, that's where you’re wrong.”, you take a bite of the steak and swallow it down, the same way you’re swallowing down all of your feelings regarding this situation, “He did ask for permission and I gave it to him.”

She shakes her head at you: “You’re a fucking idiot.”

“Thanks, I know.”

“Don’t you think it’s unfair to the girls to be dating someone who is already promised to someone else?”, she scowls at you and you can’t help but feel offended.

“Don’t you think I don’t know that?”, you scoff at her and can’t believe she’s trying to make you the bad guy in this situation. “I already told him, he’s just going to break their hearts and if he wants to relieve some steam he should be upfront about it.”

She looked relieved: “Good. What happened then?”

“Nothing - he just said to let that be his worry.”, you sigh, “anyways, can we drop this, I don’t like talking about it.”

She looks at you sheepishly and considers her next few words as if she was talking to a scared child: “Y’know, if you’d just tell him how you feel, you could save yourself the pain.”

“And give myself the pain of embarrassment?”, you chuckle, “or of rejection? Besides, I don't want him to treat me like a fragile little thing just because my heart beats a little faster whenever I see him.”, god you really didn’t want to talk about this topic anymore - it makes the formerly delicious steak taste horrible and makes you want to throw it up at the next chance you get.

“Baby, your heart beating a little faster whenever you see him is an understatement - your eyes practically search for him whenever he isn’t there and when he is? Full of hearts.”, she raises her eyebrows as if trying to make her point come across clearer, “not to mention, whether you like it or not, you basically crumble at his attention, girl- you’re completely whipped.”

“No way.”, you look at her as if she’s the insane one now. “I do not!”, the urge within you to throw a fry at her grows stronger.

She laughs and makes weird googly eyes at you while saying: “See, this is how you look like.”

You shake your head and laugh - you'll get over him, you’re sure of that and give the two of them one last quick glance before you shove down any type of remaining angst deep into your chamber of unresolved issues.

It seemed like you couldn’t be any more wrong, though because whenever he gives you his boyish smile your legs still feel like pudding or when he wraps his arms around you, you can’t help but lean in a little closer - as Haname said, you were whipped, it doesn’t matter how much you deny it.

Although the next time you’re faced with his charming smile you’re almost about to throw up.

“I really do like her, y/n”, he smiles.

Please shut up, you almost wince out, but you can’t, you can’t let him see what you’re feeling, not when he was finally genuinely happy after Geto left. It pained you to know there would always be someone else behind the reason for his smile and never you. You could laugh and joke around with him but you’d never be the one holding his heart and you wished you could more than anything else in the world but you’d rather kiss a curse than ever openly admit it to him.

When you finally break out of your thoughts you notice Satoru is staring at you nervously, as if he was waiting for a reply and you try to gulp down any sort of distress you were feeling; he didn’t sign up for a girl unable to handle her feelings for him.

You try to smile sheepishly at him but your voice still comes out shakier than you had planned: “I’m sorry, ‘Toru, I wasn’t listening.”

He ‘tsked’ and poked your cheek: “What’s gotten your pretty little head so deep in thought that you can’t focus on this dashing young man in front of you.”

“It’s nothing”, you breathe out and he looks at you in disbelief and you reassure him again “It’s really nothing,”, you give him a pointed look, “just got my head in the clouds, I’m fine”, it seems like you try to reassure yourself more than him.

He still gives you the same look but then shrugs it off: “No pressure, if you don’t want to tell me. I was asking if it was fine to ask her out to be my girlfriend.”

Absolutely nothing could have prepared you for this, if you felt like he had punched you in the guts before, this time it felt like he threw an entire planet at your gut - you really were going to puke now.

“I- Satoru..”, you didn’t know what to focus on, your vision started to get blurry, you really were about to fucking crack and you wish you could erase your feelings when you can make out his worried expression - you felt guilty, horrible and most of all you yearned, you yearned for him and it’s slowly killing you as if you were an animal at the butcher’s house slowly bleeding out, simply because you know, this will always be one-sided affection.

He grabs your shoulders and he almost violently shakes you and you finally get a hold of reality, Satoru is in front of you and you’re probably terrifying him with your weird behavior.

Your voice cracks: “I’m sorry, Satoru,” you felt incredibly selfish but on one hand you knew this would be the right decision, “I can’t agree with that.”

He looks at you, startled for a second and then he realizes what you’re saying; his expression quickly goes from confusion to anger. “Why?”

“Look-“

“What, y/n? Can’t handle me being happy?”, he let’s go of your arms, his jaw is tense and his once blue yet warm eyes felt like nothing but an eerie ice cold lake.

You wince, you can’t handle him being angry at you, especially when it’s rightfully placed anger - you felt terrible. “We are arranged to get married, Satoru.”, you look at him, you were truly sorry and incredibly selfish, so fucking selfish.

“So what? Does that mean I have to deprive myself of love completely, y/n? Am I unable to love anyone that isn’t you?”, his voice is getting louder and you have to hold back a whimper - your tears that already risked coming out were now falling continuously.

“Don’t you think it’s unfair?”, you finally manage to get out, your voice was as unsteady as you felt - god you wish you hadn’t agreed to this in the first place. “I’m sorry, Satoru, I really am.”, you try to grasp his hands but he shakes them off and you have to gulp down the aching pain of betrayal in your chest, “but don’t you think it’s unfair to the girl, to hope on a love, knowing you’re promised to another?”, you tried to maintain a pretext of reasoning, of sense, but deep down - in the deepest parts of your heart - you knew it was because you couldn’t handle seeing him with someone else, not with the knowledge that she’s his girlfriend.

He scoffs at you in disbelief: “Cut the bullshit, you wouldn’t care less about a stranger, it’s about the fucking family image, isn’t it?”

“No, it’s not-“

“Fucking save it.”, he interrupts you and you had never - not even in your arguments before - heard Satoru speak with such disgust directed towards you and he walks away.

You felt absolutely utterly terrible and finally let out the sobs you’ve been holding in - this is all your fault, you whimper to yourself. You were a hypocrite - telling him to go out with someone but the moment it gets actually real you deprive him of exactly that.

You stay at the place for probably several hours - you didn’t really count - but you stay there until your breathing finally evens and you’re able to go a few minutes without crying; you had cried your soul out that night until you were only left with the biggest headache and a void inside of you, you knew were unable to ever fill again.

Slowly you get up, your legs felt weak after sitting for so long but you had to get a grip, you had to at least go back to your room.

Just why did you have to open your mouth and ruin all the good stuff happening between the two of you, you felt terrible your own pain colliding with the guilt of your intertwined fate; two forces clashing into one another creating a cataclysm in your very own mind. You wanted to curse at everyone, hate everyone for putting you in this position: entrapped in freedom - you were kindly speaking a mess.

The room was silent - only your irregular breathing was audible, which was quite contrary to your very loud mind. You wanted to apologize, take everything back, undo what you did but sooner or later this would’ve happened anyways. Imagine explaining to your girlfriend you had your own engagement party to attend, at least that’s what the logical side of your brain told you - your heart was wondering how long you would’ve been able to bear seeing Satoru love someone else.

It was all pointless now; the pure anger - almost seething hatred - in his eyes was enough to tell you he would never feel the same, the two of you will probably never even be on good terms again after this.

To your own disappointment your premonition had been right: when you showed up to class the very next day he had sat himself as far away from you as possible and didn’t even bother to look at you. When you try to reach him when the class is over he was already away from the entire campus.

“You look like a truck ran you over. Twice.”, she states, visibly concerned.

“Thanks.”, you reply sarcastically.

She steps closer towards you and wraps her arm around yours: “Wanna talk?”

“No, thanks.”, you shake your head, “I’ll talk it out with him first, when we’re both more collected.”

“I don’t know, babe. It seems bad, maybe waiting is the wrong solution.”, she raises her eyebrows contemplating, “I mean, you guys, no matter how bad, have never sat apart.”

You tense up even more than before: “I know.”

Several days pass after that, you had finally started to collect yourself; instead a comforting void in the former emotional chaos had ignited in you and you figured you were finally calm enough to reach out to Satoru and talk to him.

Just when he’d sit down in his seat you take up the spot next to him and the teacher immediately enters the classroom, although he doesn’t acknowledge your presence and immediately turns towards the blackboard you were determined - you needed to sort this out now or never.

“Satoru”, you whisper.

No response.

“Pss, Satoru.”

He gives you a side glance but turns back around.

“Satoru”, you stand up and the attention of the entire class is on you.

Now he genuinely looks at you - albeit he’s probably wondering if you had finally gone insane but you didn’t care.

You take out your hand and wait for him to take it so you can lead him outside. The teacher demands an explanation but he only gets a simple ‘sorry’ from you before you focus back on him.

“Please.”, you whisper, you felt desperate to fix this, you wanted everything to go back to normal so bad, even if that meant having to let him go to another woman.

He sighs and reluctantly gets up: “Excuse us, teach, we’ll be back before you know it.”, he doesn’t take your hand and walks out of the room, you awkwardly let your hand fall down and follow him. Impatiently he’s tapping his foot and almost looks like he could rip open your skull, you gulp - maybe he hasn’t cooled down yet.

You hadn‘t noticed before, probably because Satoru was never the one to actually get mad at you but right now - he was more intimidating than any curse you‘ve ever met and you felt like a defenseless little child standing in front of him, he towered over you, like always but the cold anger in his eyes made you feel so small, in a way you never felt before.

A part of you wanted to run away - let everything stay the same, ignore the storm but a bigger part inside of you knew, if you didn‘t speak up now the storm would never vanish and you’d be trapped in its chaos for eternity.

You take a deep breath and sigh: “I’m sorry, Satoru.”

“For what?”

It takes a few seconds to sort your thoughts - what were you sorry for? Him? Or yourself?

“For everything.”, you breathe out, “reacting the way I did, but also for agreeing to let you see her in the first place.”

He raises an eyebrow - he looks angrier than before and he immediately opens his mouth, probably to curse you out, but you hush him and plead with him to let you finish first.

“Look, it’s not because you’re seeing her or because I have feelings for you, it’s just-“, you bite your lip in frustration, “that relationship is going to be doomed from the start. Yes you’d be just boyfriend and girlfriend now but in a few years? How would you tell her that you can’t go any deeper because you’re already promised to someone else? It’s unfair and absolutely selfish to do that to her.”

“You have feelings for me?”, he repeated in confirmation, it seems like he still hasn’t processed your revelation.

Your eyes widen in surprise and for a second you almost curse yourself for letting it slip: “I thought you knew.”

He shakes his head and you’re ready to throw yourself out of any skyscraper; you briefly close your eyes and calm yourself down - it’s okay, so what if he knows, you try to reassure yourself.

For a second he seemed to have calmed down before the anger seemed to consume his facial features once again: “Why don’t you just say you can’t handle seeing me with someone else because you have feelings for me? Why make up all these other excuses?”

“Because it’s not-“

“Don't fool yourself, y/n. That’s exactly why.”

You grow more and more frustrated, yes you had feelings for him, but it also seemed like you were the only one rational enough to realize just how doomed his little “relationship” is, despite your feelings for him.

“No, Satoru. I’d never prioritize my dumb little feelings over your happiness because I have feelings for you.”

He chuckles sarcastically: ”Yeah, right. Then why don’t you just let me be happy for now. Before I’m chained down to you.”, you felt like puking, does he even realize how much his words hurt? “See, in the end, you will end up with me by your side anyways, I can’t escape it, let me enjoy being with someone I like.”

Right now it feels like he’s stabbing you with a knife over and over and you can’t help but think - he’s doing this on purpose. Be it out of anger or frustration or whatever else it may be, he wanted you to feel pain, that was his goal and god you wish you didn’t care for this bastard but you did and that would be your most likely downfall.

“You’re being a complete asshole right now.”, you say, your voice filled with exhaustion - you didn’t want to argue anymore nor care for him nor actually have anything to do with him, “look, I am sorry for going on about it like this and for hurting your feelings in the process, believe me, but I don’t think I deserve to be treated like this either.”, you shake your head, you hoped he’d finally understand where you’re coming from.

“Awww,” he coos exaggeratedly, “did I hurt your feelings?”, you scoff, how did you even like this man in the first place.

“Thanks for letting me know where I stand.”, you smile coldly, visibly uncomfortable, “I’ll kindly step out of your way now.”, you were done with this situation, you had spoken your mind and apologized but if he didn’t wish to fix things, you wouldn’t either.

The storm between the both of you had stilled, you went radio silent with one another, aside from the occasional mission you had together, in which you’d also just exchange the most basic necessities or the occasional family meetings where you two would go back to pretending you’re deeply infatuated with one another. It was complete radio silence between you guys - you weren’t gonna lie; you missed the playful banter, you missed him, but it wasn’t worth being hurt over and over.

Soon your second year passed and you had even reached the end of your third year; the elders had announced your engagement party - the skyscraper sounding once again as tempting as the waffles in front of you. Your mother, Satoru’s mother and you had gone out to buy an engagement dress and accessories for you and they really didn’t hold back.

They chose a beautiful white long backless dress ornamented with various pearls on the neckline and back, the sleeves were covered in lace and it was absolutely stunning, you had bought matching white high heels and got yourself french nails.

You knew this engagement party would be extravagant and the wedding would top that by at least 20 times but looking at the location you were absolutely stunned, it was beautiful and straight out of a fairy tale; the tables were decorated with white and lilac flower everywhere fairy lights were strung up, even a photo venue and the symbol of both of your clans were stitched into handkerchiefs meant as gifts for the guests - your moms had gone out of the way for this.

There’s a bittersweet taste in your mouth upon looking at the venue - it was beautiful but you wish you also had a just as beautiful bond to your soon to be fiancé. You sigh to yourself and thank the both of them for all their work before you take off to get your hair and make up done for the evening and get dressed.

When it’s 8pm Satoru rings the doorbell to pick you up; you give yourself one last look in the mirror to check if everything is alright then grab your purse and open the door hastily.

His eyes trail up and down your body - you thought you looked good but now you weren’t so sure anymore, not when you’re met with him in a dashing black suit that made him look absolutely handsome, for a second you wondered if you looked good enough for him and you had to refrain yourself. After all this time there’s a small part within you that still cares- longs for him - that always wants to know what he thinks of you and you doubt you’ll ever stop caring for him like that.

You try to refrain from nervously biting your lips, you want to ask him ‘how do I look?’ but the fear of rejection, of being hurt, stops you from asking exactly that, instead you simply nod at him as a form of greeting and close the door behind you.

You shakily whisper: “Let’s go.”, you didn’t even bother looking at him and simply made your way towards the car and stepped inside, not waiting for him.

The car ride is silent, which is a huge contrast to the booming cluster of conversations inside the engagement location. When you two enter side by side, Satoru uncomfortably close to you, his hand at your lower back, the guests are silent for a second before everyone cheers loudly and you smile at everyone gracefully - maybe if you acted good enough you might actually start feeling that way.

“Y/n, Satoru, come, let‘s take pictures!“, your mother grabs the both of you and drags you to the photo venue; she was brimming with excitement and you smile to yourself - at least her happiness is worth the sorrow.

She forces the two of you into several poses, Satoru looks visibly annoyed and you have to pinch his side; you give him a pointed look and try to get rid of that scowl on his face. How would this seem authentic if he‘s frowning in all of the pictures that are probably going to be hung up everywhere in both of your houses. He briefly looks at you before he shakes his head and seems to put himself together and a smile reappears on his face and your breath stills - his smile is fake but nonetheless his beauty couldn‘t be any more real.

Suddenly Satoru‘s mother pops between you guys and scolds the both of you: “How can we have engagement pictures when there’s at least 5 inches of space between you?”, she pushes you closer to each other to the point your shoulder hits his chest and you do your best to not take a step back away from him.

“Come on, guys!”, your mother yells, visibly annoyed at the lack of romantic affection between you, “a kiss or two hasn’t hurt anyone.”, ‘yet’ you add mentally and groan.

“Come on, mom. It’s embarrassing.”, you grumbled and give desperate look at Satoru who had a tinge of amusement glinting in his eyes, “we don’t do PDA.”

“It’s your engagement!”, she sighs and gives you a pleading look and you breathe out in defeat.

You feel Satoru’s chest rumble in your back and he chuckles deeply: “Well, let’s give our dear mothers what they want, don’t we?”

You almost do a double take - Who are you and what have you done to Gojo Satoru? Before he wouldn’t even look at you and now he’s willing to kiss you? It felt so surreal to the point you don’t even realize that you guys had been facing one another and Satoru was waiting for your response.

The nod you give him is so subtle, you aren’t even sure he saw it until he starts to lean in and you are absolutely sure you are going to freak out. The huge space in this hall suddenly wasn’t enough, your breathing was starting to become uneven and you wanted to push him away, you needed the distance and yet your body was acting completely different. It was leaning closer towards him until your lips finally meet one another.

Kissing Gojo Satoru was one of the last things you expected to do tonight but here you were. His hands softly grab your face and you lean in even closer into him. Despite his soft hands there was a certain rough touch into the kiss - it’s like he put in all of his anger, hatred for and at you in it and it was addicting to say the least. A bridge inside you broke and you were falling deep into the river and drowning in your feelings and yearning.

When you two finally part it feels like mere seconds passed but your heavy breathing suggests otherwise. The two of you just keep staring at one another, you feared that if you broke the eye contact everything would go back to the way it was before, so you remain silent; the warm tone of the fairy lights being the only thing surrounding you.

Faint laughter seems to finally break the bubble you have created and you step back in shock; the realization of what just happened finally dawned on you.

“Excuse me.”, you push yourself away from him and step out of the venue; you needed to collect yourself and you can’t do that with Satoru around.

The cold air hits your burning cheeks and you finally seem to calm down now the only thing filling your head was confusion - Satoru confused you. He went from hating you to radio silence to kissing you; yes, it was because you guys were urged to do so but he could’ve also simply rejected them. You close your eyes for a brief second and sigh to yourself - men. There was no point in dwelling and overthinking this in a few minutes he’ll either go back to ignoring you or being an asshole.

A jacket suddenly appears on top of your shoulder and you flinch back in surprise.

“It’s cold.”

“Thanks.”, you smile at Satoru and wrap his jacket even tighter around you.

He smiles back and you have to wonder just why he is out here with you, when he could be enjoying a glass of wine inside.

As if Satoru could read your mind he chuckles and runs a hand through his hair: “I know we haven’t been on the greatest terms the past few years.”

“You don’t say.”, you reply sarcastically and he rolls his eyes in response.

“It’s just, I’m a fool, y/n. Unsure of what he wants and feels and I’m sorry for dragging you down into my pile of bullshit.”, you didn’t know what to say, how to go about this - this pulling and dragging between the both of you, you were tired of it.

“You might be unsure of what you feel, Satoru, but for someone who claims to hate me he sure was into the kiss.”, you point out as a matter of fact, you two kissed each other in there like you both had been each other's lifeline.

He chuckles: “Yeah, I might feel a little more than just hatred for you.”

“A little?”, you frown.

“More than a little.”, he grins, “but I can’t believe you haven't moved on already.”

You scoff and he looks at you so sure of himself and you can’t help but shake your head while laughing.

He stares at you and you awkwardly stop laughing: “What?”

He looked sorry: “How can I make it up to you?”

“How about you start with kissing me and we’ll figure out the rest.”, you grin at him and once again you’re ready to open your heart to the man in front of you.

“I can work with that.”, he grins before grabbing you by the arms and pulling you closer towards him, your lips colliding - you could get used to this type of remedy.

#fanfiction #x reader #jujutsu kaisen #gojo #gojo satoru #jjk #jjk x reader #jjk manga #satoru #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #satoru x reader #guiltyreverie

214 notes · View notes

lovelyyandereaddictionpoint · 2 years ago

Text

Yandere Overlord | A Little Crush

“Oh, my–who is this?”

You had been allowed to sit in on the meeting with Ainz, reading his hidden plea that you actually help him understand some of this. Of course under the guise of learning the guardians pay no mind in fact their barely able to contain their excitement to see both you and Ainz.

“That is the insolent emperor of the Vassal country of Baharuth Empire–”

Albedo continued to spew insults but you couldn’t help the heat that spread all over when you looked at his purple-pink irises. You put the picture down before your typical smile could change too much instead using your abilities to inform, Ainz as you promised.

‘Scared him into submission? I don’t remember doing anything but making peace before…’

‘Demiurge is specifically thinking about your appearance at the match…apparently, he was trying to meet with the Slane theocracy but your showing up immediately scared him into submission. Wow! Good job, Ainz!’

‘No good job! I didn’t even know that was happening!”

‘Sure. Sure.’

The meeting continued, which ensured a constant struggle as you tried not to look at the image they had crafted. When it ended you fought with yourself not to take the image instead opting to use your power to photocopy the image onto paper later…or maybe a body pillow.

“Jircniv huh? What a cutie!”

______________________________________________________________

You didn’t have Ainz’s emotional regulator…that much was clear. Yet in the beginning, your true emotions illuded the guardians of Nazarick. But after many months of observation and talking with you they picked up on the subtle signs. Like today the heat emanating from your body, the way you crossed your legs, the bite of your lip to restrict the larger smile–it was all too clear.

“FOR A CRETIN LIKE THAT NO LESS!?” Albedo smashed the table.

Demiurge rose, fighting the urge to angrily thrash his tail about.

“Calm yourself Albedo…this could just be mere interest. (Y/n)-sama has expressed a growing interest in politics…we shouldn’t be so quick to judge!”

“B-but they n-never looked at anyone else like that!” Mare spoke sharing worried eye contact with his sister who returned the favor.

“At this rate…they’ll like them more than us!”

A pregnant silence hung over the room; each of the floor guardians imagining horrifying images of you leaving them for a mere human. Some were of you on the emperor’s arm in wedding garments, others had you sharing a milkshake and feeding the emperor, and another had you promising to run away with the dreaded emperor. Fear and horror enveloped all in the room bringing them to their knees as they reeled in pain. Amidst this Cocyutus took a stand, prepared to bring these worries to light.

“I say…we bring our concerns to Ainz-sama!”

“YES!” “Y-yeah!” “I agree.”

______________________________________________________________

It doesn’t take long for Ainz to see this behavior himself. Hearing your telepathic giggles when you open the same page in the book you’ve been reading for a month is enough confirmation for him. And like always he is the one left to make the hard-hitting decision.

“AINZ-SAMA I suggest I personally help quell their sexual needs!”

“I’m more equipped to take care of them, ariska. ”

“Are you kidding, Mare and me cuddle with them all the time! Maybe you should make them do more with us!”

“Y-yeah!”

“Perhaps they simply wish to explore its healthy for youngins to—”

“Shut up Cocuyutus!” “Grrrr!” “Quiet Cocyutus, ariska!”

And while he agrees you’re boredom is probably a good indicator it’s also because you’re you. He’s sure if he knew you in his old world or even in his guild this would have been normal. As your technical guardian, he shouldn’t really interfere…but even he can’t help but be annoyed with the telepathic squeals you keep making. So maybe on a whim, he’ll make a judgment call.

“A trip to the Vassal state?”

“Yes, it's important that you publicly integrate yourself with the Sorcerer Kingdom.”

‘Do you want to?’

“I’m especially grateful!! I’ll take my mission with pride!”

‘Yes!!! Thanks, Ainz!’

Your telepathic voice warms his nonexistent heart and he sends you away with Aura and Mare. He hopes their presence will deter any acting out on the Emperor’s end and as a deterrent from you possibly…deepening relations. At the guardian's insistence, Ainz sets up a magic glass to watch you from. So with great anticipation, they all watch as you pull away in your carriage pulled by the undead as you make your way to the Baharath Empire.

______________________________________________________________

“Oh, Aura Mare now that we’re practically here I’ve suddenly become so nervous!”

You nervously mused playing with your headdress and veil resting on your lap. You could see through the carriage with your power easily; watching the people of the Baharuth Empire look on in astonishment. But your nervousness wasn’t about meeting people at least not entirely, you were going to meet the man who plagued your imagination with his face for the last month.

“U-uhm (Y-Y/n)-sama why are y-you so nervous! You’re the most amazing Supreme being next to Ainz-sama s-so y-you should be c-confident.”

Mare peeped out, blushing as he complimented you. You gave him a loving smile patting your gloved hand on the tip of his clenched fists causing him to release.

“Thank you Mare, for reminding me! It’s just I’m more nervous about meeting one particular person.”

“Oh? Who is this particular person? Have they done something that we should punish them for?”

Aura probed leaning close to you as if on the verge of discovery. While Aura understood good and well that the Emperor was the cause of this she couldn’t place how; or why the guardians were so averse to it. She guessed it was similar to the way Albedo felt about Ainz but you didn’t do anything as she does so she was stumped…how could a weak human have anything against a Supreme Being like you?

You giggled, “Oh Aura, you’re so cute! I’ll tell you when you’re older!”

She blushed at your statement hiding her face against the corner of the carriage as she mulled against her shaken resolve. She just couldn’t help but crumble when your attention was solely focused on her like that. In a way, she related to big sis Albedo a bit.

With your Sorcerer headdress resembling Ainz and a dark veil covering your face you stepped out of your carriage with Yuri lending you a hand out of the carriage with a bow of respect.

“Presenting (Y/n)-sama, the flower of the Sorcer Kingdom!”

The people guffawed as you traveled up the stairs of the Emperor’s palace, many whispering words of awe as you made your way up the steps. Thankfully the people were so focused on you that they failed to notice the twins who so easily killed a great mass of people before their vassal status.

The guide into the palace was one of his personal guard, fighting the tremble in his voice as he recognized Aura and Mare. Passing by various staff and soldiers you drew their attention easily many dropping weapons or papers as they watched you for as long as they would be let. Past a set of golden double doors you finally laid eyes upon the deeply bowing emperor.

“Jircniv Rune Farlord El-Nix, at your service.”

It was a demeaning bow for someone called the “bloody emperor” and you couldn’t help feeling pity. Already knowing what you wished Yuri cleared her throat and demanded that his personal guard and any remaining staff clear the room. She even sent a look towards the twins who pouted until you turn to them with a pleading tilt of your head. Sulking they excused themselves finally leaving you and Jircniv, with the exception of Yuri, all alone.

Worldlessly she bowed towards you once more before raising your veil, you smile when shock overtakes his face.

“Its a pleasure to meet you Jircniv! I hope you can show me the best Baharuth Empire has to offer.”

“Of course my liege!”

______________________________________________________________

When Jircniv had been informed of a visit from Nazarick he near crapped himself in fear that it be in reprimand to his attempt to betray...but when he heard that the “Flower of Nazarick”was in attendance he relaxed…a little. This probably was the final nail in the coffin for him, pulling at his hair and cursing his hubris he ordered the best for your arrival. Even as you arrived with those dreaded dark elves as guards he was sure you would be the one to rip out his heart.

To that, he was right. The lifting of your veil was the fist, tightly grasping his heart as it slowly revealed your face to him. The pulling was the ethereal gleam of your smile and voice. In complete juxtaposition from Ainz Ooal Gown you glowed with a heartwrenching presence that had him practically becoming a puddle on the floor. If he were a lesser man he would have been far to floored to look away to bow even harder than before but he was an emperor for blood’s sake.

Immediately he rearranged the whole plan for the day, changing seating arrangements that would have put space between you two to eliminating them entirely. Offering his hand to you when there was so much of a change in tiles. Even when maid with the gauntlets threatened to kill him for overstepping he remained steadfeast. All his fear had dissipated the moment you revealed your face, he wondered if it was some sort of sorcery that made him so infatuated. If it was, he doubted he’d ever wanted it removed. Even when your veil dropped over your face again and he felt misery take hold of his being once more–he still didn’t want to be relieved of this joy. Watching you feast on the various delicacies as they disappeared behind your veil overtook him with a feeling of pride.

Hearing the relayed words of joy as you experienced the different activities and festivals he had prepared in your honor. Had him swooning all the more, completely nulling the deathly glares from the elves that had so easily lay waste to his army.

“Ahem (Y/n)-sama would like to thank you for the griffin egg, tch, they say they will be thinking of you when they raise it.”

“I’m honored, my highness!”

Hardly able to hold back his tears when you must retire he takes a bold step that leaves all your guardians itching to pulverize him. A kiss against your gloved hand before you dismiss yourself for the night is all it is.

“Good night, oh luscious flower of Nazarick! I’ll be counting the seconds until I may see you again!”

In the comfort of your room with Aura and Mare sitting on the grand bed you received they watch as you float about as you scream into the various pillows.

“Keeee he actually said that to me! OhmigoshOhmigoshOhmigosh! Can you believe he said that to me!? Hehehe!”

So enveloped in your joy you fail to register the dark shadows that have cast over Aura’s and Mare’s faces.

“Yeah…it sure is great…”

“Isn’t it? Who’d think he’d be so sweet! Especially on the first day, too! Weeee, its just like those romance fanfics–”

“U-uhm (Y/n)-sama? C-can y-you tell me how g-good I was today!? I followed Ainz-sama’s and your orders and I didn’t hurt any humans!

Mare’s outburst had Aura incredulously looking at her twin. Especially because she knew well and good how many times her twin opened the ground to swallow the humans following after your entourage. But she watched as your floated back down to the bed pulling Mare into your chest as you pet his head, she hurriedly crawled to your other side.

“M-me too! Do me too (Y/n)-sama!”

“Okay okay you two get over here!”

Miles away in the safety of Nazarick the other guardians watched as the glass ball they had been watching from received a crack.

They weren’t the only ones who were regretting letting you leave.

On a completely personal level...

This man just sends me...

I wanna bite so bad I don't know why! 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

505 notes · View notes

simpcityy · 8 months ago

Text

My Little Spawn Pt.6 (Dadstarion X Child!Reader)

Summary: Astarion was finally free from Cazador after being kidnapped by a mindflayer but he was stuck with one annoying task, you.

Disclaimer: I do not own Baldur's Gate 3 or any of its characters.

Word Count: 960

Warnings: Use of (Y/N), Cazador, language, violence, spoilers for those who haven't gone far in the game, mentions of blood, animal death...Uhhh...I think that is all. MAJOR SPOILERS IF YOU AREN'T IN ACT 2 YET.

Author Notes: Hello everyone, another short chapter for this week but next week I am going to focus on the new story I want to publish soon while. Thank you so much for the support! I should be updating the master list with all the links of each chapter. Remember to Reblog and like if you enjoy this series.

You looked at Astarion as the group was having a meeting of what they have done so far. “So we slayed an old hag, killed a Gur, defeated some Gnolls, met a devil and killed other creatures we came across and you still want us to rescue this Halsin guy?” He complained, crossing his arms. “He can be our ticket to curing this tadpole.” Tav stubbornly kept the same plan, recusing Halsin. You tugged at his arm “ Astarion, if we save the mister, we won’t have that yucky worm.” You tried to cheer him up. “See, that’s the spirit little soldier!” Kalarch smiles, “You should listen to them Fangs.” Astarion only mutters looking down at you before picking you up “ I guess you are right but I won’t be happy if this Halsin can’t do anything. Just wasted time is all. We could’ve been in Baldur’s Gate by now.” He walks off to his tent with you in his arms.

How Astarion hated that he was right, after a long brutal battle, Halsin wasn’t any help. He stood at his tent sipping the cheap and awful wine. He wasn’t even in the mood for a celebration. He scanned the camp seeing the tieflings and his odd companions celebrating for taking down the leaders. He turns his head hearing your giggles as Scratch is chasing you around. He turns over to Tav as they walk over. He smirks and puts on an act “You know, I never picture myself as a hero.”

You were by the lake looking out to the moon. Scratch was long gone resting after playing with you. You boredly threw rocks into the lake before looking over hearing something shuffle in the bushes. You walked off into the woods that surround the campsite. There is a sweet scent in the air and you wanted to find out what it is. Getting closer and closer to the sweet smell before a gloved hand grabbed you from behind. Your tadpole was squirming. “Let me go! Astarion” You yelled before the headache got worse before going to a deep sleep. Someone else has had a wiggly worm like yours and made you go into a deep sleep.

The following morning, Astarion walked back to camp watching Tav head back to their own tent because anyone else wakes up. He walked into his but stopped seeing it empty “Oh Little spawn, where are you?” He hums “Having a sleepover without telling me?” He hums to himself and lays down on the bedroll. He pulls back out the book and continues reading till everyone else wakes up.A couple minutes passed and he heard the shuffling of everyone stirring away. He lets out a chuckle knowing some of them might be hungover. He gets himself changed and walks out seeing everyone but he keeps looking for his little spawn. “Have you seen (Y/N)?” He walks over to the Wizard. Gale looks up “No…last time I saw them was last night playing with Scratch.” He looks around “Maybe she stayed with Shadowheart?” He goes back to cooking breakfast. The pale elf walks over to the Cleric. “No, I haven’t seen her since last night.” Shadowheart says “but maybe that gith might know” She was already pointing fingers. Astarion was slowly panicking, no one knows where the hells you were. He quickly downs a potion of animal speaking and walks over to Scratch. “Where is (Y/N)?” He stood in front of the dog. Scratch tilts his head “(Y/N) was last seen by the lake before I went off to rest?” He begins to sniff the ground and runs into the woods. Astarion follows quickly, and looks around seeing your small footsteps along with larger ones. “No….” He whispers. Scratch barks looking up at him “The scent goes through this path.” He walks off sniffing the ground. Astarion only stood still, his mind wondering who took you. Was there a goblin that they didn’t kill, did another Gur hunter found you? He was brought back down to earth hearing someone calling his name. “Astarion what’s the matter.” Tav walks over with the rest of the group. “(Y/N)...they…they were taken…” He whispers before stabbing his dagger to the tree frowning. “ This…this..is all your fault.” He looks at tav refusing to believe it was his own fault. Pulling back the dagger, he walks off following Scratch who was on your trail. Everyone else watching him walk off, seeing how a few days together alone, you have impacted greatly on his life.

You were placed in a dark jail cell, the trip was a long one. When you woke up, all you could do was wail and hug yourself. “I wanna go home!” You cried. You quickly kept quiet as the big door opens and hear heavy footsteps. “What’s this general?” You only push yourself closer to the corner scared. “ My soldiers told me about this young one with a tadpole. I had to see myself.” You look over whimpering and flinch as the door to your cell opens. “So young and tell me why are they here? When this isn’t part of our plan Ketheric.” Ketheric looks over “ Someone did some digging into her tadpole, they aren’t just a human child with a tadpole but a dhampir Gortash.” This puts a smile on Gortash's face, “Such a beautiful creature” He looks down at you. “Bring them with you to the city when your part of the plan is done…we can use them as part of our plan.” He added before walking off. Both men walk off locking the cell once again. You only whimper crying out softly “I wanna go home” You whisper “Astarion” You cried out in the empty cell.

#dadstarion #baldurs gate 3 fic #baldurs gate astarion #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 astarion #bg3 fic #dadstarion x child reader #fatherfigure astarion #child reader

127 notes · View notes

kaija-rayne-author · 12 days ago

Text

Dragon Age Veilguard wrap up review and final thoughts

So… I wrote that string of reviews (section one starts here) while I was playing the game. I’d write them either before or after logging in for the day, so I wouldn’t forget anything I wanted to mention.

Spoilers for Dragon Age Veilguard. Tried to keep them to a minimum, but they’re there.

My thoughts on breaking the media blackout I stayed under while I played Veilguard to completion.

A little about me. I’m an editor by trade. I’m an author and a reviewer. I’m a pretty heavily left leaning, queer as fuck, non-binary person, so I’m not one of the awful reviewers who are causing so many problems from what I’ve heard. No one paid me for a review or to write anything. I’ve played the game to completion and watched the credits all the way through to that awful last scene. These are just my thoughts and my knowledge. And honestly? My broken heart.

I’m just someone who has absolutely loved Dragon Age from the moment I first turned on DAO. Because I’m an editor and a writer… my reviews tend to be more in depth than an average person’s? Maybe? I have a medical background (Forensic Anthropologist) and I legitimately read encyclopedias for fun.

In case you haven’t guessed yet. I’m autistic/ADHD (AuDHD). Dragon Age has been a hyperfocus/special interest of mine for years. I’m absolutely a lore fiend. I probably know more about the lore than many people actually working at BioWare. Especially if Veilguard is anything to judge by.

Also, this is all my off the cuff writing. I haven't the time, energy, or desire to edit them.

The problem with Dragon Age Veilguard… well. There’re a lot of problems with it. I think what it really comes down to is poor adhesion to the established lore, a crappy fighting and levelling system, and poor writing. And with Trick Weekes as Lead Writer? I never in a million years would’ve thought I’d have to say that about Veilguard.

I’ve enjoyed Weekes’ writing for a few years now. Two of my favourite Dragon Age books are by them. I really wish I could write a positive review for Veilguard. But I just can’t.

There were some things I liked about it. I liked some of the mechanics. Ziplines and the Elven light puzzles were pretty awesome. I liked how some of the streamlining made the game better. I liked how the logs were a lot easier to walk across than they were in any of the previous games. Some of the characters grew on me despite their poor writing. I liked the map when I was at the Lighthouse. Being able to see when and where a companion wanted to talk to me was great. I liked the wardrobe and how nice and easy it made changing how your gear looked. There were probably a few other things I liked. I tried to be scrupulous in my review series on saying both the positive and the negative. So if you’ve got the time to read that long thing, it’s probably worth it if you’re on the fence about buying and playing it.

And if you had a hand in making that travesty of a CRPG? You really should read it. For professional development, if nothing else.

If you’re Solavellan? I’ll just flat out tell you not to. It’s not worth it. There is no happy ending for Solas and Inky. There’s no intimate scene. Every single thing most Solavellan’s have been hoping for… for ten bloody years? It’s not there. And in fact, they did Solas so dirty. There were memories of him. I wanted memories! I did not want memories of every awful thing he’d ever been forced to do as a rebel leader. They hammered home how awful Solas was with a freaking jackhammer.

As a diehard DA fan and a committed Solavellan? It was an outright painful game to play. It really hurt. And then to see his horrific wolf form (he honestly looks like a Chinese crested dog on a really bad day. I really wish I were joking.) And then to not have anything resembling a happy ending? It’s not worth your time, and it definitely isn’t worth your money. Fanfic writers will have to heal our broken hearts, because Weekes certainly did not.

No. Trick Weekes. That was not even a suggestion of a happy ending. And I will honestly never trust you again after you actually tweeted that to me. You gave me hope. And there was no reason to hope.

So… yeah. I’ll never be able to cover all the bad in Veilguard in a short (ish) review. I’m trying to keep this short!

I’m not good at that. For what it’s worth. XD.

The Lore.

There is so much Lore they had to use for inspiration. Three full games, five books, six comics, at least two coffee table/art books and probably stuff I don’t know about. They had all of that to use as inspiration. What little they did use? Was so twisted it was hardly recognizable. I went into more detail in the longer review series so I won’t here. But they hardly used the amazing amount of Lore at all. They shoved it under the rug of bad writing to make a very unsightly lump to anyone with eyes to see it.

It’s almost like they were so eager to shuffle Solas off so they could move on to writing a new game in a different age that they just… I don’t even know. Treated him poorly doesn’t begin to cover it. Screwed up the story by sidelining a plot-necessary character also doesn’t cover it. Which as both an editor and an author, I really do not understand. You don’t do that with such a plot heavy character. It leaves the consumers unhappy.

After the game play reveal. I honestly didn’t have a lot of hope. I knew Varric’s fate even before that. (It’s not good. In case you’re wondering.) Becoming an editor has absolutely ruined me by making it easy to guess what’s going to happen.

The Writing.

I’ve actually heard and seen the writers saying they were pleased with how the characters came out. Professionally? And as kindly as I possibly can? May I suggest you all learn how to write better? Most of those characters and the plot were just so poorly written. The romances were ridiculous. And I’m a romance author? So I kinda know what I’m talking about? At every juncture, you all chose the most basic, most puerile options. The only surprises for me in that game were how you completely ignored the Lore and how bad the writing was.

I think Veilguard would’ve been perfectly fine as a non-Dragon Age action RPG. And for anyone who loves it for that… I’m truly happy for you.

But that’s not how it was marketed. It had all the right Dragon Age voice actors, character names, location names… but that is not Dragon Age. You’d need to actually use the lore for that. They did not. Or if they used a little? It was heavily retconned and twisted out of recognition. The only thing even remotely close to being like a Dragon Age game were the settings, environments, and scenery. Those were phenomenal and the only thing that held that travesty of a game together. Everything else? Goddess. How do you fail so horribly at something when you have every resource you could possibly need to make it good?

Because it could actually have been good. It could’ve been phenomenal. If they’d actually written that game for Dragon Age fans? You know… us middle-aged or slightly younger/older gamers who’ve lusted for another DA game for years? If they’d paid attention even a little bit to the Lore? If they hadn’t side-lined a plot-important character? If they hadn’t retconned soooo much that I often felt like I had whiplash playing it? If they hadn’t stripped it down to the very bare bones of mediocrity? If they hadn’t basically made it for children? While condescending to them? (Heads up… kids hate being condescended to.)

If they hadn’t nerfed rogues so badly that I don’t know why they bothered to call them rogues at all? You cannot pick locks, hide in shadows, sneak, set or disarm traps, brew potions or bombs… absolutely none of the fun stuff that makes a rogue a rogue is in Veilguard. If you’re a rogue player? Skip it. You’ll just be as disappointed as I am.

Nor can you garden. You can’t make potions or bombs or… anything. You can’t craft anything yourself. You go to someone called The Caretaker at the Lighthouse and use everything you’ve collected by smashing far too many barrels (why… why with the barrels?) for them to upgrade your stuff. You can’t really dress up your companions in funny clothing or armour. They’ve scraped most of the detail out of Veilguard like they were carving a pumpkin and had to get the guts out. The problem is? Those guts are needed for any story. It’s called world building.

Get this. BioWare… BIOWARE removed blood splatter from Veilguard. There’s no toggle I can find that makes it even possible. They truly made this game for kids and not for the middle-aged gamers who… y’know… usually have money to spend on games. Do NOT ask me how that made any kind of sense. Their logo for at least two games was a blood splatter Dragon ffs. And now there’s no blood splatter option in game. I just absolutely cannot understand it.

The fighting system.

Dear gods. The fighting system. So first? They tied how often your companions get skill points to how high their bond is with you. You increase your bond with them by taking them with you (and you can only take two) and doing their quests, etc. But do you know what that means in functionality? If you’re not a tank player? You’re basically cream cheese. I’m not a professional gamer. But gaming is my number one form of entertainment. I play on hard/ultra hard for most games I play. And a lot of them are live-fighting types like DAV was trying to be.

Guess whose rogue had a permanent tattoo of ‘I have aggro please come eat me now’ on their forehead? Mine. I have a very intimate understanding of the inside animations of the dragon’s mouths. If they’re going to keep that crappy leveling system, the least they could do is let us all have the ‘no death’ toggle on every level. Won’t matter to me because I can’t imagine ever playing it again.

I lost 14 hours of my life with the crashing, glitching, and reloading I had to go through to get the damned thing to even run. (And it’s not my computer. It has an ssd. The video drivers are all updated and up to snuff. It’s around a little over midway between necessary and recommended specs. It’s just a shitty game.) It’s a shame I can’t charge BioWare for those lost hours of my life. How could they have possibly thought that this game was ready for release?

If you want to know the rest of the negatives (and a few more positives) the whole review series is where you’ll find them.

But between the actual craptastic showing of Veilguard and that last scene taking all the agency away from every character who ever came before? Oh, and with the bad guys from across the sea wearing something an awful lot like a burqa? You know… the long black robes and veils many Afghani people and other Muslims wear? Nah. I’m done. Finite. I may occasionally enjoy the first three games. But Veilguard does not exist for me. And anything they make going forward doesn’t exist for me. That last scene… WTAF were they thinking? I actually can’t believe out of all the people who must have worked on that game that no one else made that connection about maybe insinuating that people wearing black robes and veils who live on the other side of the sea are evil is maybe a bad thing!?

I just can’t anymore. If you’re looking for a no-brain needed, kid oriented, action RPG (they really did simplify this soooo much for children that it’s absolutely condescending) then you’ll probably be fine with it.

If you love the Lore as much as you love the world? If you play rated M games with romanceable companions for the intimate scenes and the romance? (You’ll be disappointed.) If you have a few thoughts on whether it’s a great idea to remove the agency of all previous characters in the entire series as being bad? If you think maybe it’s a bad idea to insinuate people in burqas are evil? If you play anything other than a tank? Veilguard is not a game for you.

#da veilguard #dragonage #veilguard #dragon age veilguard #solas #dragon age #bioware critical #bioware #Veilguard #Review #Dragon Age Veilguard Review #Game Review

20 notes · View notes

kayakischaotic · 2 years ago

Text

PJO/HOO/TOA HEADCANONSSSS 🎉🎉🎉

WHOS READY TO RUMBLEE

also I haven’t read the books in awhile + I have terrible memory so o7

clears my throat

PERCY JACKSON:

—>all my faves had a emo phase. including Peter Johnson

—>he owns a BUNCH of different earrings, nothing too big or extravagant, but like a little fish, maybe an arrow, etc

—>dyes part of his hair blue because he’s Percy

—>Sally TOTALLY knew he was bi when he was little

—>has a bi flag necklace (I’m jealous)

—>once dyed his hair blonde while he was at camp and after everyone called him a dumb blonde he decided to never dye it blonde again

—>he totally loves having his hair played with cause Sally used to always play with his hair when he was a kid

—>his eyes change from blue to green depending on the lighting

—>he’s been the little mermaid for Halloween at LEAST once

—>has an extensive collection of Hawaiian shirts

ANNABETH CHASE:

—>she sticks a bunch of little pins on her Yankees hat

—>doesn’t know how to drive (at least not very well)

—>if she could she’d have road rage so much

—>probably owns at least 5 different pairs of earbuds/headphones that she uses on her iPod and/or Daedalus’s laptop

—>building a campus place similar to New Rome at CHB

—>instead of a box of chocolates for Valentines day, she once gave Percy a bag of M&M’s. but only the blue ones

—>drinks at least 3 cups of coffee most days

—>bi-curious/questioning

—>also questioning her gender a bit

—>read Harry Potter and couldn’t tell if she wanted to BE Hermione or be WITH Hermione (still can’t tell)

GROVER UNDERWOOD:

—>pan, ace

—>will eat anything if he’s stressed

—>has little rings he can put around his horns for added style

—>tism

—>he/they KING!!

—>will just snack on a head of lettuce

—>has to wear reading glasses (what a nerd /pos)

—>has an extensive knowledge of which plants around CHB taste good, and which taste bad (has definitely been taken to the medics once or twice for eating poisonous plants)

JASON GRACE:

—>everyone makes fun of him because of The Brick™️.

—>THEATER KID

—>will ramble to you about wolves for as long as you will let him

—>frequently dyes small strips of his hair with hair chalk

—>him and Annabeth are like best friends. please.

—>questioning

PIPER MCLEAN:

—>she ate the rest of the non-blue M&M’s for Annabeth

—>genderfluid she/her lesbian.

—>helps Hazel, Annabeth, and the other girls do their hair (and sometimes Percy)

—>sees Jason and Leo as her brothers

—>wears suits to fancy events

—>usually uses her charmspeak to win at board games

—>girl in red’s biggest fan

—>EVERYONES WINGMAN

LEO VALDEZ:

—>makes everyone friendship bracelets

—>will totally light candles just to watch them burn

—>pretends he’s Festus’s vet whenever he has to fix him

—>calls the Argo II his child

—>doesn’t have a proper sleep schedule in the slightest…

—>gay, demiboy

—>totally introduced everyone else to neo/xeno pronouns

—>he/they/it mainly, but also uses a bunch of neos and xenos

—>has a dragon stuffed animal he calls Festus Jr. that he struggles to sleep without

—>he is the autism creature /j

—>will call anyone in sight bro or dude

—>scared of heights

—>keeps calling himself “the rizzler”

REYNA AVILA RAMIREZ-ARELLANO:

—>therapist friend

—they/she

—demiromantic asexual

—>astrology lover

—>straight A student without trying or studying

HAZEL LEVESQUE:

—>the only person on the Argo II that can keep a plant alive (somehow)

—>unlabeled

—>her and Nico help paint everyone’s nails

—>is always wearing either a skirt or overalls. (better yet: overalls skirt)

—>lactose intolerant

—>totally holds a dance at Camp Jupiter that is similar to a school dance at least once a year

FRANK ZHANG:

—>token straight friend

—>has a fairly large stuffed animal collection (only to be rivaled by Octavian’s)

—>if he ever visits CHB he purposely avoids being near the fire

—>makes the rest of the 7 watch superhero movies with him

—>owns lots of comics

—>him and Percy ramble about superheroes and comics together

NICO DI ANGELO:

—>certified DJ of the 7

—>his favorite restaurant isn’t even McDonald’s.. (it’s Olive Garden /j)

—>if demigods could use technology, he would totally be a tumblr user. (happy (late) Ides of March)

—>THEATER KID

—>he keeps saying “gaslight gatekeep girlboss” and everyone is kinda confused

—>loves listening to 70s/80s/90s rock

—>is (attempting) to learn the drums

—>survives off of energy drinks and coffee

—>has a nightlight in his cabin for when Will visits

—>also listens to Crywank

WILL SOLACE:

—>definitely has dressed up as a lamp for Halloween

—>HE/THEY!!!

—> trying to convince Nico to be in a band with him, playing guitar, Austin, playing sax, and Apollo, playing flute (Nico’s not having it)

—>favorite color is “all of them”

—>attempts to grow plants (fails)

—>he would totally be addicted to Tiktok if he had it

—>if anyone asks what time it is he will respond one of three ways: “it’s time for lunch” “its game time” or “it’s time for you to get a WATCH”

—>he’s really bad at reading clocks

—>totally cried during Frozen

APOLLO/LESTER PAPADOPOULOS:

—>he/they bi icon

—>motto is “fake it til you make it”

—>adhd, probably

—>always looses board games

—>chronically online…

—>will purposely sing the wrong words to popular songs so half of CHB thinks they’ve been singing these songs wrong the entire time

—>him and Nico bond over saying things like “gaslight gatekeep girlboss”

—>scared of the dark

—>quotes Mean Girls at least once a day

—>trying to make a theater class at CHB (Chiron agrees, Dionysus is… not quite there yet)

—>surprisingly good at lying (fake it til you make it!)

—>some Aphrodite kids told him their skincare secrets while he was mortal and gave them a few products

—>wears eyeliner on a daily basis

—>when he was a mortal the Aphrodite cabin and his cabin played dress-up on him and made him wear a bunch of weird outfits

THATS ALL FOR NOW!!!!!

I bet you totally can’t tell who my favorites are by how much they have put down…. /s

TELL ME SOME OF YOUR HEADCANONS SO I CAN ADD THEM TO MY HOARD

#pjo #hoo #toa #pjo hoo toa #riordanverse #percy jackson #annabeth chase #grover underwood #jason grace #piper mclean #leo valdez #reyna avila ramirez arellano #hazel levesque #frank zhang #nico di angelo #will solace #apollo #lester papadopoulos

158 notes · View notes

kitsunesfandomtime · 9 months ago

Text

Hated by Life Itself (Rough Draft/Concept)

Summary: A young AFO wonders why he is still alive and his purpose for his continued existence. He decides to try and figure it out despite everything else saying he should die.

Inspired by: @tengoku-izumi, @kstbj and song this is a rough draft and not the completed fic. I just like sharing since it might change so enjoy~

Completed Version: Link

Since he was born it felt as if life itself abhorred his very existence. Blood and death followed his every path as nightmares of the dead sneered and screamed at him. There are times he wondered if he should listen to their words, grab his own spike and ram it into his throat. To end it all as there is only more death in this world.

Only to remember that Yoichi is still there.

He would die without him, unable to fight or defend himself. While he didn’t care about his own life, always eating second and prioritizing the other, he can’t bring himself to abandon Yoichi. It was a selfish thought, he is sure, that he didn’t care much about himself and yet can’t let go of his little brother. As the only reason he could think of if Yoichi died is, he wouldn’t like it.

Little brother. It was Yoichi that learned that term after he brought all those books. It was also when he chose to name his little brother. As the only kindness the world has ever gifted him despite everything else wishing for his death. Yet he still hasn’t chosen a name for himself, even refusing his little brother's attempt to name him.

He didn’t need one.

A name is something for those that have an identity, a dream, or actually have some light to look forward to. His brother says live peacefully, be kind, even to his own detriment and while at times have gotten annoyed enough to roughly shove or hurt his brother. He admired it, that naivety was in a weird sense sweet because he wished he could live peacefully. What a wonderful thing it would be if he could just live like that, but he knows he can’t.

Every radio talks about a new death, every TV they find has another riot and chaos of people fighting those with powers. There are marches of people who sneer at the paranormal, looking at him and implying if has power they will kill him. Living Peacefully was never an option for them, but he can at least let Yoichi believe in that. It not like he cares what strangers think only that Yoichi lives and is at his side, then its enough.

Though he notes they both have been growing. Yoichi has more comics now after they found a bookstore to hide in. He goes to his side and reads.

And in that moment also realized, like the hero, if they died there would be no one there to mourn them. No one would care about their existence and for once the thought did bother him because it was unfair. Unsure of what to think of these feelings he keeps it close to his chest listening and trying to learn more of the world. Only to learn of the ‘Glowing baby’.

…He was loved. He was born with mutant powers but everyone loved him. They adored him and he made changes. Everyone would care if he died, he would be a martyr.

He saw red, wanting to scream why everyone loves him? Why didn’t anyone help him or his little brother? What made them so different!? His hands trembling as he stared at the screen as this ‘baby’ was actually his age if anything a bit younger. Wanting to ask why he was born so loved while he is in the streets with scraps barely surviving.

Because you’re a monster!

He flinches. Somehow a voice echoed in his head causing him to stumble awat from the TV, knowing he was getting a few looks. His head was pounding, able to hear the jeers and sneers, they were so loud… He just wanted to live for his little brother. He just wants what everyone else has so won’t feel so terrible and is only trying to survive while people keep trying to kill him. Is that so wrong? Was he that terrible?

Why was he even alive?

“...It’s all pointless isn’t it?” He whispers more to himself as he just listens to those voices. A deep breath and a sigh as he looks at the TV screen. Thinking about the comic book they read reminded him of the villain. The villain wasn’t alone. If he's already been a monster since birth then he should embrace that role. Then everyone would have to look at him then when they have nothing, he can show he can care for them.

No one will be able to ignore him. He won’t feel lonely anymore.

He needs to return to Yoichi. Before he does this he wants to be with him, he won’t tell him his plans might fail. If he dies because of failure at least he wants to be sure that Yoichi will be fine for a while. Because in the end if Yoichi dies, no one would even know or even care that he existed either.

________

“Yoichi I brought back food,” The unnamed young man called out with a grocery bag. Of course he had to mug some drunks for the money since no one wants to hire some rats off the street. One of the food though was a nice donation from that kind restaurant, the man always left nice food in the back. He wishes he could pay him back somehow, but if he succeeds then he will try his best to repay him back.

“And not all of it from stolen money. The guy that puts out free food in the back had a full meal out today he must be doing well,” He notes as he takes out that first since is sure Yoichi already making a face at the idea of food obtained dubiously. But the moment he mentioned that specific man his eyes lit up already eagerly holding his hand out to snatch the food. Opening and devouring it with his hand.

“Hey! He brought us forks we should at least try to eat it,” he laughs just a bit and Yoichi stops himself. Looking a bit embarrassed but to be fair they didn’t know manners they only learned by watching other people. Usually through a window and that's how they even learned about utensils, regardless Yoichi did accept the plastic fork and knife to eat his noodles a bit more cleanly. While the older brother sat beside to eat the leftover Katsudon enjoying the meal a bit he thinks about how could set his little brother up.

“Honestly, you can probably visit that guy sometimes too. He usually has a consistent schedule and thankfully not too many people cause trouble there,” He noted. Watching Yoichi look up in surprise as this was the first time he ever suggested Yoichi do anything by himself. “It's just a thought. Eventually I might die so it's good to know how to care for yourself.”

Yoichi suddenly sputtered and choked, looking shocked. Was it really that surprising? There were tons of attempts on their life-

“You aren’t going to die! Don’t just say stuff like that, you don’t want to die do you?” Yoichi questioned with concern and honestly… The older brother was a bit dumbfounded. Staring at his little brother confused at what he means about how he doesn’t want to die. Slowly tilting his head he thinks about how he doesn’t care if he does die but guessed it not like he is actively trying.

“I mean if I obtained an immortal body I guess that wouldn’t be an issue,” he answers quite bluntly. Yoichi’s concern turns to annoyance as he leans over and smacks his shoulder as if had just been tricked.

“You’re an ass! That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it. Are you just messing with me by talking about death?” Yoichi questions and he honestly just shrugs. Likely only frustrating his little brother more but he didn’t exactly know how to explain it. Thinking a bit more carefully about how he is supposed to communicate his words.

“I am serious. If I was immortal it would be nice, I would be able to take care of you forever without any issues. I’m sure you like being immortal as you could read all the comics and books in the world,” He informed him, though his little brother seemed annoyed. At least he wasn’t saying he wanted to die or anything. He’s just indifferent to the idea if he was honest but he would avoid it if he could. So that should be satisfactory.

“But honestly… If either of us died, the world itself likely wouldn’t care.” The unnamed teen muses and Yoichi freezes. He doesn’t say anything, just a long moment of silence because honestly it's the truth. Yoichi may be smart and probably get along well in society but it won’t allow him in unless something huge happens. They see his white hair and they steer clear of him right away just on the possibility he’s a paranormal.

“...But I don’t really care about the dying part.” He finally admits watching his little brother freeze, “I wouldn’t pursue it of course, you still need me and I would do anything to avoid it as there are things I still want to do. But at the same time, I would rather you live over me if given a chance that’s all it is.”

“Shut up! What is wrong with you!?” Yoichi screams and the anger did surprise him. It was rare to see his little brother so riled up and when examines his face he was trembling. As if hadn’t expected this at all, his words came out of nowhere. “You’re always selfish and demanding the hell you mean you rather I live over you!?”

Selfish…? Demanding…? What does that have to do with this conversation?

Oh! Likely because he ignores Yoichi whenever he tries to stop him from killing their enemies or any of his demands to be ‘good’. He is quite stubborn like that but he didn’t see anything wrong with what he said, not like he has any issues with Yoichi personally either. He’s known that his brother is just like this and he accepts him he isn’t going to stop caring about him. He continues eating like Yoichi isn’t looking on the brink of crying. Honestly confused at why he is making such a big deal about his statement.

“Well, I just wouldn’t like living without you alive.” It was blunt and to the point. To show he is still the same and selfish brother that he always knew. Watching those green eyes widened as tries to register his words. Then they filled with tears and a broken laugh escaped him as if had said something funny.

“The hell is that supposed to mean? That doesn’t make sense… You don’t make sense,” Yoichi whispers and in the end he guessed it was true if he said it didn’t. But in the end he was selfish and didn’t care about what was the correct way to care about someone. Some might think he is being selfless but it is not as if he wants to die for his little brother. He just prefers not to entertain the idea of being completely alone.

“You don’t need to understand it just how I feel. But you probably shouldn’t cry over your ramen. It 's going to end up extra salty,” He points out. Watching his little brother snort as wipes his eyes then goes to eat the remaining ramen. At the least they talked it out even if his brother started yelling at him and getting emotional suddenly. But in a weird way, he did feel closer and he was happy at that moment.

He hopes he can succeed and eventually they no longer have to live off of scraps.

#All for One MHA #All for One BNHA #yoichi shigaraki #First One for All User #Yoly's Rough Draft #Yoly's fanfics

25 notes · View notes

starriri · 9 months ago

Text

Similarities of Murder On Orient Express / Calais Coach to Danganronpa Despair Time

So like. Hi. I’m Starri. And uh. I’m not very much of a theorist but a few days ago i began to read Agatha Christie’s Murder on Orient Express, also known as Murder in the Calais Coach in America. I’d been searching for a copy for a while until i finally found one from my local library.

For the record, I’ve only been able to read half of the book so far (i have to put it on hold to finish another book which i need to return soon (i can’t renew it as someone wants it)), so I’ll most likely make an updated post that elaborates more on it.

Murder on Orient Express has been mentioned a few times in the DRDT franchise, most notably being in Min’s execution as the last question (Who wrote Murder in the Calais Coach?). A page of it also appears in the Literature Girl Insane (fun fact ive been calling it nonsense literature girl the whole time smh i’m a fake vocaloid fan i’m sorry) MV.

In fact, Agatha Christie herself has been mentioned multiple times in the story. For example, in chapter one, Teruko mentions her (although her name is considerably censored)

This also reveals that Teruko reads mystery novels (slay!!) which I think is pretty neat lol

For the record, Strychnine isn’t used in Murder on Orient Express, but it’s used on one Agatha Christie’s earlier mystery novels, that being The Mysterious Affair At Styles. I actually haven’t read that yet though since I can’t find a copy myself.

She is also, of course mentioned in the Literature Girl Insane credits. Although the original vocaloid MV has mentioned a ton of Authors (eg. Dazai Osamu, Kaiji Motohiro) that do appear in the DRDT ver, Agatha Christie does not appear in the original vocaloid MV whatsoever, meaning that she has been added deliberately, along with Lewis Carroll (i haven’t read alice in wonderland because i’m a little dipshit sorry i can’t do anything with him) and possibly a few others.

To be honest I do think Agatha Christie herself is somewhat related to the plot, along with other books of hers that aren’t Orient Express.

But I digress. My main topic here is how Murder on Orient Express has similarities to DRDT. Even if I’ve only read half, there’s a few similarities I can find:

1. There are 16 passengers aboard the train

In the novel, there are multiple compartments, however, in the main one, there are 16 people. You know what else has 16 people?? The danganronpa series, mainly, which includes DRDT.

2. The victim has somewhat ulterior motives/secrets

The man who died is revealed to be a murderer, who has changed his name to avoid being identified. At the beginning of the story he asks Poirot/The protagonist to protect him from someone who has been targeting him, which Poirot declines.

How is this similar to DRDT? Well, firstly, Xander, like the victim, died mainly because of their own actions. Xander died attempting to kill Teruko, while the victim died because he was a scumbag that killed. It’s quite far fetched but. Yeah.

3. ‘Charles Cuevas Motive’ and the Handkerchief

The handkerchief from the novel has been embroidered with the letter H. However, H in russian is N. Do you see where I’m going?

In the story, the handkerchief is revealed to belong to a russian woman by the name Natalia because of this.

In DRDT, ‘Charles Cuevas Motive’ or C CU MO is misread as 3MOC until Rose tells everyone to turn the disc.

Both stories have a sort of misreading of possible evidence that end up being clarified after a while.

4. People fainting after seeing blood

In both stories, someone faints from seeing blood: Charles after seeing Teruko on the ground, and Mrs Hubbard (a character) after finding a bloodied knife in her purse (?). Mrs Hubbard says that, just like Charles, it’s due to her fear of blood.

This one I’m almost sure is somewhat referencing the novel.

The end (because i’m stupid and haven’t read the whole book)

Ultimately there’s probably more similarities that I’ve overlooked (there’s most likely something to do with the ‘woman in the scarlet kimono’ ) so I promise to update this soon. But for now. uh. toodles

If anything, i think the references to Orient Express only go as far to the end up Chapter one. I think chapter 2 might be centric to another Agatha Christie book (i have a few theories on which one but like. i’ve only read 6.) so yay i guess

also if someone has already done a theory on this certain topic i’m sorry jd dkdbdjbdks

#danganronpa despair time #drdt #drdt theory

44 notes · View notes

everlasting-rainfall · 1 year ago

Note

Can you please do Crocodile for the Pages au??

Ok so just like Doflamingo, I’m not the best at writing a romantic Crocodile and I know why but they’re reasons that I won’t be disclosing to anyone that isn’t a close friend of mine

Regardless I’ll be doing my absolute best with this but I apologize if this isn’t all that good in the end

!-MINORS DO NOT INTERACT-!

!-POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNINGS-!

Stalking, Delusions, Broken Bones, Kidnapping, Implied Brainwashing

!-POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNINGS-!

!-MINORS DO NOT INTERACT-!

—————————————————————- So Crocodile in the Pages AU, I can personally imagine that Crocodile is the type to sit down and read a book if he doesn’t have anything else to do and although he doesn’t have any particular favorite genres

That changes when he gets his hands on the first book of your series, he usually isn’t a fan of getting into book series but let’s say that he wasn’t aware of it being part of a series like it was gifted to him as one book from someone or the seller didn’t think to tell him

Proceed to Crocodile reading the book and just like everyone else, he manages to find it somewhat interesting as the author has written it pretty well

He reads it over a while and personally I can imagine that Crocodile might not actually manage to connect to one of the characters in the story so he’s just enjoying the books although his favorite character is the MC

Upon finding out that the book is in a series after reaching the end, he’s somewhat annoyed as he unintentionally got sucked into the story of a book series and he never wanted to get into a series as he doesn’t want to have his mind occupied with yet another thing

But alas, he has and he finds himself seeking out the other books in the series which he continues to read when he has nothing else to do however soon enough he even finds himself wanting to read the series when he so much as has a few minutes to spare

As Crocodile reads these stories, he would find the MC becoming his overwhelming favorite character and there are little to no illustrations of them in the story so that’s a bit disappointing to him until you included a picture of yourself at the very end of a story to go alongside your message to the readers

He knows deep down that it isn’t what the MC looks like more than likely but something in him just can’t help but imagine the MC looking like that and it doesn’t help if you were wearing an outfit similar to one you described the MC as wearing

This man still won’t delude himself into thinking that he’s a character from the story but he can however delude himself into thinking that you might be the MC from the story and you know how people fall in love with fictional characters? Yeah, he’s falling in love

And when you’re in the middle of writing the last book in the series, let’s say that you’re on a trip somewhere to relax a bit after writing so much

You might run into an intimidating but somewhat friendly acting stranger who keeps messing up your name and referring to you as the character from your book, it’s creepy but it seems easy to get away from this man as you simply walk away after you’ve finished talking

Certainly was weird, wasn’t it? But although you continue on your way, you can’t help but feel like you’re being watched everywhere that you go like the only place that you don’t feel like you’re being watched is the bathroom and you can’t stay in there forever

So eventually at the end of the day, you just return to your room at whatever establishment you find yourself staying at currently and finally the feeling of being watched stops allowing you to wind down with a shower, maybe some reading, and overall self care before bed

As soon as you wake up though, say goodbye to life as you know it as you’re in a room that looks lovely but it’s also more terrifying than lovely because you’ve never been here before

And after a while of looking for a potential way out or something to clue you in on where you are, the locked door that you tried earlier opens up and in walks Crocodile who looks at you

He has a twisted smile on his face and you recognize him as the man from the trip that you ran into, he’s kidnapped you and was likely the person to be following you all that time

He’ll tell you good morning and welcome you home amongst other things all while referring to you with the name of the MC from your book

Welcome to your new reality, Crocodile is your loving husband and you’re the MC from the book

You can try to fight and try to run away all you want but that’s not going to work now, he’s going to catch you with little to no issue and drag you right back to his home potentially breaking one of your legs to make it harder for you to run

I wouldn’t recommend not responding to the name of the MC either as one way or another, Crocodile will force you to respond to it

Even if it means making you just as deluded as he is

#pages au #yandere one piece #read the trigger warnings #the rain talks back #minors dni #yandere #yandere male #Yandere crocodile #crocodile #reader insert

56 notes · View notes

fluffypotatey · 4 months ago

Note

“Same old Wukong.” Just that, nothing else attached. How do you think he’d feel about it 🤔 so many centuries have passed, is it a comfort that you haven’t lost yourself, become unrecognizable, some of that time you’re nostalgic for remains in you, or is it agony that it has remained within you, alone all this time as well, and…haven’t you changed? That was meant to be a good thing. Or any other views you may have to offer on this, Fluffy? I also came across a new Wukong angst to haunt this monkey in that he never checked in with his friends families through the years. He couldn’t. I imagine living for centuries and protecting generation after generation with the world passing you by, yet you remain gets exhausting when you can stay alone on a mountain instead. I wonder if Wukong could bear to visit his old companions in their old age. Thinking also of how they always fought together, Wukong in his little boy scout scarf get up and then they died. And it was just him, putting on his legendary battle armor and putting up radiant smiles because what was he but someone meant to be a hero, always? While hurting, tired, and lonely inside. Alive, not just a living myth meant to do living myth things for the world to receive their stories. It’s this part in the series when he mentions having to fight so many demons that Macky’s image also shows up (in the pilot ep) so I think it’d be super funny if the writers revealed there wasn’t a single connection to Jttw here. No anger at the monk, no impersonations, not for any special reasons. They probably died already when Macky found Wukong again but that would mean he left Wukong alone for so long :’) I can’t accept that so, but it kinda, well he did say “someone who was there for some of it” to MK. Which is WEIRD. Because ShadowPeach’s promise and fight was NOT or shouldn’t be at least, written in JTTW. And the parts that were, Macky wasn’t there for, either at ALL (like the entire journey) but he could have heard about. (Like the training with Subhodi.) I also realized that the scroll showing Camel Ridge along the way despite it not being a sentimental memory was because Wukong probably felt guilt about the way it was built. All that stuff Azure said before on doing good and draining life to build it? And yet Wukong still felt bad for putting them away. Afterall, he’s experienced people thinking the worst of you himself and their punishments when you’re more than that. Thinking also lol, what if the whole “Macky read the book” thing is a reference to the fact 6EM “read” aka “own personal audiobook-ed” the journey with those ears to impersonate better and answer the questions only Wukong would know XD

[…] is it a comfort that you haven’t lost yourself, become unrecognizable, some of that time you’re nostalgic for remains in you, or is it agony that it has remained within you, alone all this time as well, and…haven’t you changed?

i feel like Macky resented the fact that Wukong “hadn’t changed” in s3 because all it does is confirm, to him, that Wukong never learned anything about his mistakes

but then we get to end of s4 and s5, and there’s an acknowledgment of that. Wukong hasn’t changed in the core parts thag matter and that’s good. he has changed many things and matured but the most individual part of himself is still there and Macky is relieved. (a little annoyed in ep1 bc him and MK have been avoiding the monkey MK conversation)

Because ShadowPeach’s promise and fight was NOT or shouldn’t be at least, written in JTTW.

well, i mean, nothing about their relationship in lmk is at all accurate to jttw. and i do think that Mac is written in them in lmk but he might be unnamed. maybe Wukong was the only one who knew him during that fight and no one else knew enough to name him?

idk it’s a reach theory rn but one i think about often

#lmk #asks #shadowpeach #lmk sun wukong #lmk six eared macaque #lmk s5

13 notes · View notes

avatarmerida · 1 year ago

Text

Meeting the parents ✌️ read on AO3 or under the cut. I know it’s been a month since I updated don’t mention it I’m sensitive

It was so odd how a simple word can change everything and nothing at the same time?

When they saw each other at school, she still greeted him the same way. She’d either rush into his arms, laughing as he spun her around or she’d wrap him in a tight hug to spin him around (it all depended on who got to the other’s locker first). Hunter was surprised at first, he had assumed that them dating would change everything, but somehow it hadn’t. He realized that it meant that the way she felt about him hadn’t changed, that she really had liked him for awhile. It still made him blush like an idiot.

But now he didn’t mind if she noticed the blushing, because he was her blushing boyfriend.

When his hand would brush hers when they walked, she took it. She’d link their pinkies or laced their fingers and he didn’t have to make an excuse or it in his mind like she didn’t want him to get lost or something. She did it because he was her boyfriend and she wanted to be close to him, and she wanted everyone to know it. Because he was something to her that no one else was.

Nothing in his world had drastically changed. He still went to school, went to flyer derby practice, helped Dell with the palismen, but now everything he did he did as Willow Park’s boyfriend. He roamed the realm as someone Willow Park publicly liked as more than a friend. He knew he was someone, but now he was someone to her . He’d endure 100,000 “That’s Hunter, the old Golden Guard” for one “Hunter? Oh, you mean Willow’s boyfriend” identifier. It was the first title that did not make his heart feel tied down, but bursting and free. A title he hoped to never pass on, only to rank up.

He hadn’t changed; he looked the same, talked the same, dressed the same. And yet, he was totally different. Because he was Willow’s. He was Willow’s boyfriend.

And he did not get tired of saying it.

“Sorry, I can’t talk right now, I’m waiting for my girlfriend Willow. Since I’m her boyfriend, I wanted to walk her to class, ya know? Since we’re advanced friends. Just wanna make sure my girlfriend doesn’t need help carrying her books. And if she does, I can help. Since that’s a boyfriend job and I’m her boyfriend after all.”

“Okay… I literally didn’t say anything but I’m glad you two are happy,” said Viney, who was literally just walking by. “Tell Willow I said hi, okay?”

“As her boyfriend, I will be sure to let my girlfriend know,” he said proudly as Viney picked up the pace.

Willow’s hair had never been more full of flowers. The sight of Hunter waiting for her made her absolutely giddy and that unbridled joy manifested itself in flowers so vibrant and colorful she looked like a walking topiary. She was too enamored to be sly and her inability to hide her joy made his wide, toothy, dopey grin even dopier. Which made more flowers and it was just a never ending cycle. It was like every day was the first day.

The way he looked at her hadn’t changed but now the look lingered and he didn’t turn away when she caught him. He still got nervous around her but now it was a nerve he was confident about. Willow couldn’t describe it with words but she felt the subtle change between them. It was a new kind of uncertainty, a different brand of scary, it was more exciting and less heavy. She had been worried for awhile that it was all in her head, that she was misreading his blushes when she complimented him or misinterpreting the soft way he said her name, like it was something precious to him.

Willow made it clear that she was a fan of affection and Hunter made it clear that he loved receiving that affection. But as much as Hunter absolutely loved letting Willow know how much she meant to him, he sometimes still had trouble being a “just because” person. He was used to everything having a reason, a bigger purpose. So when Willow would lean over the table to quickly peck his cheek as he was sketching “just because he looked cute,” well he didn’t know how to adjust. He felt he hadn’t earned it. Granted, he was not complaining, but he was unsure how to return the gesture. If he went to kiss Willow every time he thought she looked amazing or was on his mind well… he may never stop.

But Willow was always ready and willing to validate him. Whenever he made a move, no matter how small, she made sure to show her approval. If he placed his hand on hers, she’d lace her fingers through his as though to say “I’m keeping you.” If he put his arm around her shoulders she would grab his waist as though to say “this is where you belong.” And when he embraced her, she would wrap her arms tightly around him and lift him off the ground to say “you are the best thing that’s ever been mine.”

So every morning when they eventually needed to part for class, Willow would quickly kiss his cheek and it was like a shot of caffeine. She had just kissed it to say hello minutes ago and just when he was shaking off the daze that brought, she lured him into another. He practically floated to class after that. She loved the effect it had and she loved that he was helpless to hide it. She wished she could dedicate her mornings to covering his whole face in kisses, but Gus was threatening to start charging them a snail for everytime their goo goo eyes distracted them from a group conversation. Willow knew he was kidding, but noticed the next day Hunter had brought some in a pouch, just in case.

They were insufferable to everyone around them and Willow absolutely loved it.

“So, what did Willow’s dads say when you told them?” asked Luz as she sat on the basement coach reading as Hunter worked on yet another gift for Willow at his sewing machine. He was adding pockets to a dress she had found at the thrift store ( Willow, my girlfriend, loves having pockets to keep things in , he had said proudly to the lady at the craft store who did not ask). Then on top of the pockets he was adding patches and stitches so there was no mistaking who the dress was for and who it was from.

“Told them what?”

“That you and Willow are dating,” said Luz like it was obvious. “They can be pretty strict, so you must’ve been pretty nervous when you asked for their blessing.”

Hunter stopped what he was doing and when Luz heard the sewing machine stop she looked up and saw Hunter staring at his hands in a panic.

“I was supposed to… ask them?” he said, beginning to sweat.

“Woah, uh hey! It’s okay!” assured Luz, jumping up from the coach to make sure he didn’t accidentally stab his hand with the needle while he was distracted. “You technically don’t have to ask them, that’s just something people sometimes do! But I mean as long as you told them that you…” the panicked look on Hunter’s face did not let up. “You haven’t told them, have you?”

“I… don’t think so.”

“I mean, you’ve told everyone else on the Isles,” laughed Luz. “Plus everyone in line at the supermarket.”

“I know I just… I mean, I wasn’t hiding it or anything but I’m weirdly scared of them?” said Hunter. It still baffled him, he had no reason to be but he knew that if he even suspected they disliked something about him he would throw himself into the boiling sea. But that was normal, right?

“Well, I’m sure Willow has told them,” said Luz, hoping to undo the stress she had summoned.

“But what if she hasn’t?” Hunter was beginning to spiral. “W-what if she just assumed I did that part right and they already know? I mean, I didn’t do anything else right but I would’ve if I had known-.”

“Hey hey hey, chill out hermano,” said Luz. “The Parks totally love you, out of all of Willow’s friends you’ve definitely gotten her in the least amount of trouble.”

“But… I kidnapped her when we first met.”

“Has she told them that?”

“Um…” Hunter knew she had told her dads about him, she had mentioned it here and there in the human realm but she never went into much detail. The subject hadn’t come up when they first met, he could recall the day in perfect detail. He had just helped Willow find her dads and was catching up with Darius…

“... and they’re pack animals which means they create families and they’re always-,” Hunter looked up and saw Darius’ eyes were elsewhere. “Sorry, I’m probably boring you, huh?”

“Hmm? Oh, no no little prince of course not,” Darius chuckled fondly. “I just think there’s a certain someone trying to get your attention.”

He followed Darius’ gaze and saw Willow talking excitedly with her dads, who looked over at him to suggest he was a topic of discussion. Willow’s eyes found Hunter’s and gave him a quick smile before turning away, her cheeks flushed.

“Something tells me she doesn’t need to try all that hard,” said Darius, giving Eberwolf a knowing glance. “Aren’t you going to introduce us?”

“Huh? What? Why?” said Hunter nervously. “Y-you know Willow, you’ve seen her before.”

“Hmm, that’s not who I meant,” smirked Darius, looking across the room somehow knowing that the flyer derby girl was having the same conversion with her fathers. He walked over as Hunter trailed nervously behind him, unable to help but smile at the way Willow’s fathers whispered more intensely the closer he got. Darius extended his hand to them and smiled.

“Hello, I’m Darius,” he said, the two men looking up at him as though starstruck before Gilbert took his hand and mumbled ‘pleased to meet you’. “It’s a pleasure to meet you sirs, I’m a big fan of your daughter. Though, I have to admit I think Hunter here will fight for the status of her biggest fan.”

“Oh, so this is Hunter,” said Harvey in a tone that suggested he had come up in conversation long before this. Suddenly all eyes were on him and all the grimwalker could go was offer a shy wave as he gulped. He knew how important Willow’s dads were to her and he suddenly wished he had more time to prepare. He wished he smelled better and his clothes weren’t so disheveled so they didn’t think he looked like this all the time.

But before he had the chance to say something embarrassing, he was pulled forward and was suddenly wrapped in a tight hug with the entire Park clan. Willow was right beside him as her fathers towered over them, and there was no room to be nervous here. This was just warmth and love and safety and gratitude.

Hunter chuckled nervously as the embrace only tightened, as Darius chuckled endearingly to the side.

“Thank you,” whispered Harvey and somehow Hunter knew he was talking to him.

“Uh, y-you’re welcome,” said Hunter as they did not loosen their grip around him and Willow buried her head in his chest. He fought the urge to let the tears fall again, somehow hopefully he had wordlessly made a good first impression. It felt undeserved. “What ah, what did you tell them about me?” he whispered to Willow.

“I just told them you mean alot to me,” she whispered to him as she gave him a smile.

Unlike most people, the Parks had liked him from the moment they met him. He was certain that no matter what they learned about him, they would still like him because Willow liked him and he made her happy.

But that just meant he had so much to live up to. It meant he had to do everything he could not to sully their opinion of him.

“You could do what Amity and I did for mom,” suggested Luz, sensing his mind was fabricating a mission.

“You mean make a video?”

“Yeah! Willow has tons of pictures of you two together, it’ll be easy,” said Luz. “Plus, they’ll see how happy you make each other.”

“And the video convinced Camila to give Amity her blessing?”

“Well, I guess so,” said Luz, jumping up to get the photo album Willow kept there. “It was actually more of just a cute way to officially tell her that I’m bi.”

“Oh,” said Hunter, getting up to help her select photos to start. “Good idea then, I didn’t know I had to officially tell them.”

Hunter arrived nearly an hour early. He was so paranoid about being late that he hadn’t considered being too early. But he hid the bushes and rehearsed what he’d say and how he’d say it. He wanted to show them he was a confident, capable boyfriend. He needed them to know he was worthy of the title.

When the time finally became appropriate for Hunter to knock on the door, the door flew open almost immediately as though Willow had been equally anxiously waiting for him on the other side.

“Hiya,” she said sweetly, beaming at the sight of him as though she hadn’t just seen him at derby practice a few hours ago.

“Hi,” he said, the sight of her looking so happy to see him easing him a little. He was worried he had overdressed, a light green dress shirt and bright, floral tie had been carefully selected to show how much he belonged in Willow’s world. But as she stood in the doorway in a golden sundress that matched her glasses, he felt validated in assuming the evening's importance. “Y-you look beautiful.”

She smiled and he could tell by her smile she was about to lean up and kiss his check, an action that never failed to make his ears flutter, when suddenly they were joined by two taller figures on either side of Willow.

“Well, that’s exactly what we said,” laughed Harvey as he put his hand proudly on Willow’s shoulder.

“Hello sirs! Pleased to meet you- see you! Haha, we have met before,” he said nervously as Willow tried to hide her smile, unable to help but to find the whole scene endearing. He held out his arm as he turned between the two men as though trying to calculate how to shake two hands at once while still concealing the bouquet he hid behind his back. Whenever he brought flowers, he tried to have Willow guess what they were, he’d give a fun fact about their land of origin or what they signified as a hint. It was a silly little game that allowed them both an opportunity to impress the other but for some reason it felt too silly to do in front of her dads.

After the managed to help Hunter pick an order to shake their hands, they welcomed him inside and Willow leapt up and whispered in his ear

“Primroses, iris, and zinnias,” she said softly.

“Correct,” he replied with a smile, revealing her prize to which she happily took. She smelled them, knowing he had spent a great deal of time selecting the perfect shades to balance the collection.

“And what’s this?” she said, noticing the laptop bag hanging from his shoulder for the first time. “Are you gonna have them watch the Cosmic Frontier movie? Because I think you should probably-.”

“Oh, no no,” said Hunter as his nerves caught back up with him. “I wanted to tell them we’re advanced friends in a special way, so they know I’m a good choice.”

“Awh Hunter, that’s so sweet but I promise-.”

“I know I was supposed to do this sooner, but you mean so much to me that I wanted to make sure I didn’t skip any steps,” Hunter said sincerely, and Willow knew he was determined to see it through. When Hunter liked something, he gave all of himself to it. Whether it was sewing or palisman or Cosmic Frontier or derby, being something he cared about meant you were something he did not give up on. And at the top of that list written in the most precious handwriting was her, and she could not deny the lengths he went to in order to remind her.

“Okay,” she said with a smile. “I’ll go help you set up.”

“Thanks,” he said, taking a deep breath. “I want to make sure I leave plenty of room after for questions before game night officially starts.”

“So what’s this all about, kids?” asked Harvey as they sat on the couch, watching Hunter set up the laptop as Willow adjusted the lights. “Showing off your human realm items? What’s this one do?”

“Oh! Is this the one that toasts things?” asked Gilbert. “Or the one with all the dancing?”

“Not exactly, Mr. Park,” said Hunter as he finally remembered Luz's Lessons on how to queue the video, as he turned to face them standing beside the laptop. “I um, want to thank you for having me over tonight because there’s something important I wanted to tell you, about how I feel about Willow.”

The flowers in Willow’s hands seemed to poof, as though literally elated by Hunter’s words. He locked eyes with her and became stuck there for a moment, finding another reason to hopelessly admire her every time he did, but he managed to return to the mission at hand.

“But uh then I thought, why just tell you when I can show you!” he said, his voice unable to shake the obvious memorization in his delivery as he pressed the spacebar to play the slideshow. He smiled nervously, hoping it would be to their liking, but when the song he had carefully chosen from Luz’s online music gallery did not begin to play he grew worried.

Because instead he heard his own voice.

“Are you recording?”

Which was not the plan.

“Yes, ” came Luz’s voice on the video. “ But don’t worry, I’ll edit this out.”

“That’s uh, haha t- the wrong video,” announced Hunter as he tried to make the computer go back. But Luz had preset it for him, unaware the wrong video file had been pulled up.

“Okay, now you just need to record a voice over,” came Luz’s voice, the screen black and trying to come into focus.

“Well what do I say?” asked Hunter’s voice on the screen.

The little button had disappeared from the screen and he didn’t know how to get it back. Oh, why hadn’t he watched the video all the way through before bringing it here?

“I dunno, say something cool?”

“Like about Willow?”

“Well, I’m sure they know Willow is cool but show them that you’re cool too!”

“They’re not stupid! They’re gonna know Willow is cooler than me!” said Hunter on the recording. “What if they think I’m too weird or sweaty to go out with her?”

“Awh, she makes you weird and sweaty?” Luz gushed sweetly on the recording.

Meanwhile, Hunter was frantically pushed every button he could but the torture did not stop.

“They’re not gonna believe she’s my girlfriend. I can’t even believe she's my girlfriend.”

“What if they don’t believe you? Are you gonna kiss in front of them to prove it?”

Hunter felt as though he was melting into the earth and in a moment of panic unmatched by anything else he had ever experienced, he threw the laptop across the room. Not so hard that it broke or became unusable but enough to render it silent.

Hunter’s eyes widened as the Parks’ eyes darted from the broken human technology back to him, trying to process what had just happened and why. Hunter was positive they’d recede any blessing they had been ready to give. Hunter was too embarrassed to speak or move or blink and the room was silent until Willow broke it with a sigh.

“Okay,” Willow said softly as though in defeat. “You guys can show him.”

Her fathers gasped at the same time. “Really?” asked Gilbert. “Are you sure, petal?”

“Yeah,” Willow said as though bracing herself. “Go ahead.”

“What are you talking about? Show me what?” asked Hunter, confused as her fathers ran into the next room, giggling like school boys. They were obviously excited about something. The uncertainty made Hunter nervous. Was this some kind of punishment for failing the advanced friendship announcement?

“Here,” said Willow, patting the seat beside her. “You’re gonna wanna sit down for this.”

Hunter confusingly obliged as he sat beside Willow, unable to read her expression. Her fathers rushed back in and sat on either side of the pair, as Harvey’s scroll floated in front of the group and a video waiting to be played.

“What is this?” Hunter whispered to his girlfriend.

“You’ll see,” she sighed. “They’ve been dying to show you this for months.”

“Okay, okay, shhh!” said Gilbert as though they were in a theater as he managed to press play, despite his giggling nearly overtaking his body.

“ The healer said we need to monitor her symptoms,” said Harvey on the recording, the camera failing to focus but Hunter could tell they were looking at Willow laying on the couch with a blanket and an army of pillows around her.

“Papaaaaa I’m fiiiine,” Willow groaned in a tone that suggested otherwise, congested and strained. “I need my scroll back please!”

“Sweetie no, you need to rest,” said Gilbert lightheartedly, suggesting she had made the request many times.

“Daaaaad, I need to message him back!”

“I’m sure Gus will understand if you take awhile to-.”

Willow in the recording started to giggle. “It’s not Gusss,” she smiled as she began to fiddle with her braid.

“Oh?” asked Harvey, trying to recall another ‘he’ in her friend group. “Wait, is this the boy from flyer derby?” Harvey set his scroll on the table, unaware that it was still recording, as he adjusted the quilt on Willow.

“Maaaaybe,” said the slightly delirious Willow, out of frame but still able to be heard.

“And does this boy have a name?” asked Gilbert’s voice with a smile that was audible.

“Maaaaybe,” Willow giggled once more. “He has a face though, and it’s veeeery cute.”

On the couch, the current Willow hid her face in her hands as Hunter’s face turned a matching shade of red.

“Oh, so he’s cute and he plays flyer derby?” teased Gilbert. “Sounds like you and I have the same type.” Hunter knew the Parks well enough to know through hearing it alone that he playfully nudged his husband’s ribs. “So when can we meet him?”

“Daaaaad stop!” Willow said, her voice too giddy to be convincingly irritated.

“I didn’t say anything, petal,” he laughed in response. “You know we like meeting all your friends.”

“ Something tells me he’s a little bit more than a friend,” teased Harvey.

“Papa!” Willow gasped as though the suggestion was utterly scandalous. “That’s so… I mean, why would you think…”

But Willow could not finish her accusation as she dissolved into a fit of giggles. She could not convincingly deny it, but it was still a new realization for her. The common mold did not offer her clarity, just the chance for her mind to entertain the notion unfiltered. Her fathers joined in her laughter, delighted to see her so delighted. It had been a while since their Willow had been so happy, so if there mere mention of this mystery boy caused such a reaction, well then how could they not approve?

“Why did you show me this?” asked Hunter delicately.

“I think it’s really sweet that you made a video to tell my dads we’re dating,” started Willow. “And I think it’s even sweeter that you were so worried about getting their approval, but I wanted to show you that you don’t have anything to worry about.”

“Really?”

“Basically every day since they took that video they’d ask about you,” laughed Willow. “If I had talked to you, how you were and then when we got back from the human realm it was always ‘have you asked him yet?’ or ‘has he asked you yet?’”

“Oh petal, it’s not like it’s the first thing we asked you when you come home from school,” said Gilbert as he got up to go to the kitchen.

“Yeah,” agreed his husband, following him to fetch the games from the cabinet . “It was the second.”

“I’m sorry, just to be clear,” said Hunter. “The boy you were talking about in the video was me, right?”

Willow just smiled and looked over her shoulder to make sure her dads weren’t close before darting up to kiss his cheek. “Of course, who else?”

“So your dads… approve of me?”

“Hunter, every time you come over they have to hold themselves back from making every single one of your favorite foods,” she said with a laugh. “I promise you don’t have to try so hard, they want you to like them just as much as you want them to like them.”

“Well, that’s easy for you to say,” he joked, taking her hand in his. “You already know everyone here likes you.”

She squeezed his hand. “And isn’t that the most important thing?” She teased with a grin. “It’s also really important to them that you’re comfortable.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” she said as she heard her dads return, one carrying a tray of Hunter’s favorite snacks and the other a pile of board games almost blocking his vision.

“Plus they don’t want you to hold back when we divide into teams,” she finished quickly with a smile, too excited to be embarrassed as the coffee table became covered in boxes and plates. There was no question that Willow’s competitive nature was hereditary.

Hunter chuckled to himself as he watched the scene unfold, as Willow and her fathers debated about the order to play and who would be what piece and the rules they would follow (theirs or the ones that came with the box). It was loud and vibrant and warm and chaotic.

But one thing was not up for debate: Willow would always be on Hunter’s team

#huntlow #huntlow fanfiction #toh #toh fanfic #Willow park #Hunter toh #the owl house #winter toh

48 notes · View notes

esther-dot · 11 months ago

Note

I feel very conflicted and I know I’ll get hate if I post this on my blog but I just want feedback. I loved D for years after watching the show until season 8 came out and I felt betrayed. I thought it was out of character. I wanted happy romantic J x D. I saw myself in D. I’ve read the books at long last over the past year and I know I have confirmation bias. I love Sansa too. And I see myself in her as well. Deep down I know that I am far more like book!Sansa than I am like the character D really is and that the D in my head is not truly who the character is. I want to love Jonsa. I think that could be such a happy end for Sansa and I want to want that (that being specifically Jonsa; of course I want a happy end for her). But I don’t know how to shake my attachment to D and the character I want her to be. I can’t let go and stop projecting despite consciously being aware that she is not truly very much like me at all. I think perhaps because Sansa’s arc has not yet had as much direct payoff. She has not yet been able to claim power in the way D has and I think thus identifying myself with her may cast a light on uncomfortable feelings of helplessness within myself. But I’m not really sure. All I know is that logically I wish for Sansa to be my favorite and I want to love Jonsa instead of JxD and I know Sansa is quite a bit like me but I just can’t seem to embrace that. I’m not sure if I am looking for any sort of advice or wisdom or perhaps just wanting to put my thoughts out there. I’m curious about anything at all that you might have to say

I have my opinions and preferences, but there’s a difference between emotionally connecting and intellectually engaging. I’ve read loads of classic novels because I want to know what they say, why they matter, but I often fail to find them personally meaningful. That’s simply due to life experience which is why certain things resonate with me or don’t. I’ve found, none of us read the same novel, even if we agree on certain aspects or characters, there’s always something else that hits us differently. That’s not an indictment or vindication of a person because I’ve revisited books years later and my response is wildly different.

The book didn’t change, life changed me so I read it differently this time around. That's a good thing to bear in mind when we're talking about the same series for years on end, there's room for us to evolve our stances because we're changing. I leave room for that with others, I permit myself the same understanding. I hope you do that for yourself too!

Also, my sensibilities aren’t Martin’s, so even if I make arguments about why a certain thing shouldn’t/should happen, I know it still might or might not. Jon and Dany isn’t a universally accepted pairing for no reason. And even though most of what I say about Dany I tag with “anti,” that’s just because I want people to be able to avoid it if they’d like. I don’t hate her, I have a lot of sympathy for her. I think her story is full of tragedy, so I don’t think there’s anything weird about reading the books and your heart going out to her. Many, many fans identify with her, some because they too are abuse survivors. That’s why a lot of fans connected so deeply with show Sansa as well. I was frustrated before the GoT finale because the people who argued with us about Dany were actively defending her burning people alive and denying where her story was going, but after GoT ended, I went into the Dany tag and saw a few posts by more normal fans who simply loved a girl who had inspired them and helped them in their own struggles, so I understand who she is to people even if she isn’t that to me.

I loved D for years after watching the show until season 8 came out and I felt betrayed.

This was a pretty universal sentiment, and I felt betrayed too (although for different reasons, coming from a completely different direction), so I sympathize.

Deep down I know that I am far more like book!Sansa than I am like the character D really is and that the D in my head is not truly who the character is.

I think the “problem” (not really a problem, but we’ll call it that) is that Martin wants his characters to be more than one thing. I’ve said in the past, he has quite an expansive view of what one person can encompass which means, I look at, let’s say, the Hound quite differently than many in the fandom. Every bad thing I have ever said about him is true, but there are good things about him that are true too, and Martin wants both to coexist. That’s true for Tyrion (another villain), Jaime, Theon….it’s true for Dany too. She’s even more enmeshed with good things, as more good desires, than those guys, so it’s easy to let it eclipse everything else. I’ve pointed out before that with Dany, it’s always a one-two. She “saves” people, then we discover it wasn’t salvation at all. You have to be open to questioning her to realize that though.

The way the show framed her, a lot of people saw themselves or who they wanted to be in Dany, and even now, I’ll hear people occasionally compare themselves to Dany in a positive way, because for years, she was a #girlboss. We might have a lot of skepticism around that idea now, realizing it was to hide what her story actually was, but it resonated because, who wouldn’t want to be capable of fighting injustice? Of walking into a situation and taking control of it and rectifying wrongs? The problem is, in the books, we’re presented with the reality that her methods aren’t improving things, and in the show, they mute that as much as possible. When the author is trying to show the devastation of war and the showrunners opted to glorify it, the audience is gonna have a reaction that’s no longer compatible with the original intent. For instance, Arya killing all the Freys. That’s presented as a bad ass moment, that’s their view, so why would a fan realize, “but over here vengeance / unnecessary bloodshed is bad.” It’s careless storytelling, but D&D were also dishonest too. They included certain moments to justify the ending, but undermined it so fans wouldn't track it, rewrote characters to make them obsequious to Dany. And then they drowned it all in bs interviews / commentary, loads and loads of hype and marketing....they twisted it completely out of any discernible shape. Confusion is an understandable response to such contradictory nonsense. People I'm a fan of made sense of it, predicted it, but I do think y'all were lied to by the showrunners which annoys me to no end.

But I don’t know how to shake my attachment to D and the character I want her to be.

That's love though. I've experienced this so often in real life, wanting good for someone I care about, desperately wanting them to see the self-destructive patterns they have, and not being able to get them to change anything and learning to either accept where they are/who they are, or learning, I can't accept it and ending the relationship because it wasn't healthy for me to be involved. Martin loves his villains, Tyrion is his fav, he wants you to care, that's where he'll get the tragedy in Dany's ending rather than it simply being a clear cut good vs evil ending. I think he wants us to have sympathy on both sides of the coming struggle, and to have fans see the heroic path Dany could have and watch her fail to follow it and walk down a path she didn't have to choose...it's gonna make it heart-wrenching rather than cliche. I think you may be almost just where Martin wants you.

I think perhaps because Sansa’s arc has not yet had as much direct payoff. She has not yet been able to claim power in the way D has and I think thus identifying myself with her may cast a light on uncomfortable feelings of helplessness within myself. But I’m not really sure.

Obviously, I don't know you, but from what I've seen people write about Sansa, I do think her relative powerlessness is a major detractor for fans. For some it makes her boring, for others, they despise her because they're so frustrated by her not doing something. But it's a dose of reality in this fantasy world to have a character constrained by her situation and her life dictated by her gender. I'd argue that Sansa is a more impressive character for the mercy and bravery she shows even thought she is a captive herself, but I understand that's not as thrilling as other characters' stories.

I want to love Jonsa instead of JxD

Sansa has had a few crushes which are fairly...I’ll say, detached from reality. She connects to the characters emotionally by imagining them as romantic figures, less a tangible knowing and loving the individual. It’s all very daydreamy, but mainly, she's been the object of desire for creeps. So, while I disagree with them, there is a part of me that understands why fans aren't looking for her to have an actual romance because the way it has existed in her story thus far isn't tangible for her or rewarding, and of course, there's her age. Dany on the other hand, as young as she was when this story began, has had sexual partners she loves. We say Drogo was an abusive POS, we know Daario doesn't truly care for her, so I understand, with one part of my mind, that fans are looking for her to have a mutual, sexual relationship. If you love Dany, a healthy sexual relationship feels more pressing than one for Sansa, due to past experiences. It feels more appropriate due to her age as well. So, I understand why one can have hooks for you as a fan that the next doesn't. It’s always good to remember though, while we connect to these characters as if they’re people, the author is using them to discuss ideas, and they will experience, or not experience, certain things as a result.

I feel very conflicted and I know I’ll get hate if I post this on my blog but I just want feedback.

I'd like to tell you that isn't the case, but it's probably true. I still get rude messages because I'm a Sansa fan/Jonsa, and I can't imagine a situation like yours, loving both characters and being open to Jonsa but shipping J/D, would allow you to be fully comfortable anywhere. I can't assure you that my corner of the fandom will treat you with the utmost understanding either, so I'm glad you reached out this way and felt safe coming into my inbox. I find talking about things is helpful. There isn't always an answer, but it makes me feel better, so I'm happy to read your thoughts on this even if I can't offer any advice, in the hopes it makes you feel better too. 💗

#dot chat

13 notes · View notes