#like i am the microwave and they are the bowl

[shadowsight-aster]

OH AND BEFORE I FORGET cause the last post reminded me of it i love love love the project bluebird au/theory it makes me want to jump up and down and climb walls and froth at the mouth i'm so normal about it so here's little q and jaiden in a little colored sketch i did :)) ough they're so important to me i love them i love them so much the other image is just some info on the other test tube kids from my fic planner. not a LOT to see but i wanted to include foolish and cellbit and baghera

(not that anybody asked but. if you want to know my like full idea here) (the federation brought them up together as a little sleeper agent family to help them in the future and it kinda backfired since only 2 of the original 5 (6? technically with elquackity) actually want to work for the federation anymore) (if you want to hear me ramble i will) (please i have so many thoughts about them)

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

So I was reading articles about John Hurt (as I do when I procrastinate on life in general lol) and I saw a still shot of a movie I’ve never seen still shots of before; so I looked it up. It’s a play. I was worried I wouldn’t find it in full online; but I did, so here it is in all its glory:

He’s just… ugh I want to gently hold his face in my hands he’s just so sad and lonely with his weepy voice and eye bags. I couldn’t process half of what he said but I think this is a warning about always speed-running through life to get to the next good thing. We should appreciate the moment; because in the end, we’ll have nothing at all but our memories. If we rush through life, we won’t have any memories to keep us warm at night when the chill of death creeps up on us in our old age.

Also, spool, spooooooooooollll…….

spoooooooooooooooooooooolllllll [cackles in mentally unstable]

@kaleidoscopr @theindo @possessedbydevils @randomtwospirit

[tiny-huts]

At any given moment I am thinking about Artemis Entreri and how he is my babygirl

[sparklingpax]

A sequel to Masterforce done in that really good 90s-style animation with the muted color palettes and epic effects....would be so cool...so pretty.....I cannot be the only one contemplating this 😭✨

[thisisadecisionimayregret]

word to the wise. if you're gonna put a cloth mask in the microwave after washing it to make it dry faster: don't!! or at least don't put any ceramics you wanna keep in there with it

[writersdrug]

Simon "Ghost" Riley is the kind of man who:

In your shared home, always sits with his legs spread. Manspreading king. Adores it when you cross your arms and give him a disapproving look, saying there's no room for you. "Course there is, luv. Jus' sit between my thighs."

Refuses to let you do simple tasks around the house, like making tea, folding his underwear, or putting away the dishes. One might think it's a sweet, husbandly gesture - but he's just super picky. You made tea in the microwave once, and now you're banned from ever touching his tea stash. Likes his underwear folded in a specific way, and you don't understand the importance of it. He got tired of you stuffing his underwear in his drawer, so now he folds it himself. And the dishes? Couldn't stand how you put them away. "There's no rhyme or reason to 'em." "I didn't think there had to be, Si-" "Just gimme the damn bowl." Fewer chores? You aren't complaining.

Looks like he's always on edge - and he is, kinda. When he's out with you, he can't help but be alert and watchful, and extremely protective of you. You've tried to get him to loosen up - it's the supermarket, what could happen? - but have just come to accept it as his nature. Plus, you get that giddy feeling when you see other men look straight down at the floor, avoiding Simon's stare as the two of you pass.

Is the grumpiest, poutiest, and most indignant man ever when he gets sick. Doesn't want you doting on him in case you catch whatever he has. But, wait - where are you going? "Get your ass back in this bed - 'm cold." Grumbles like a child when you force him to let you get up to grab him soup, tea, or medicine. And no, he doesn't care how sick he is, he's not wearing that stupid, floppy ice pack hat.

Brings Johnny over unannounced, and you've grown used to it. The moment you hear that Scottish yapping out the front door as the key unlocks, you grab a third plate for dinner - he insists you don't need to feed him, but you always make extra for Simon's lunch the next day regardless, and the last time he'd said that, he ended up grabbing an extra fork and picking from Simon's plate. Which, of course, had Simon up at 1 am making instant ramen because he was still hungry, but didn't have the heart to ask you to make him a decent meal. So, yes, Johnny would be fed.

Loves spoiling you on your birthday. What is a man if not someone who spoils his partner rotten? Orders in food from your favorite bakery, sets all your presents neat and nice on the table (the excellent wrapping job done by yours truly, Gaz), flower petals sprinkled on the ground and the table top (also Gaz's idea), and a seat on his lap so for you while you open your presents. Loves watching your face light up, and each little "you remembered?!" fall from your lips as you open each gift. Scoffs and shifts in his seat. "I's not that much of a fuss, luv..." as you squeal excitedly, but you know he's biting back a proud smile. The blush, he can't even attempt to hide.

Is somehow a magnet for your young nephews. Every time he comes along to your sister's place, he's either making conversation with her husband in the living room, or he's interrogated and cornered by her two sons. And, lord help him, he doesn't understand it either. He'd always expected kids to look at him like a monster, but, especially with these two, that was never the case. They'd ask him for stories about "being in war" - half of the time, he'd make up some not-too-gory adventure, sparing them the details of real war. The rest of the time, he'd talk about "Soap, my mate who blows everything up." And they'd listen with wide eyes and jaws on the floor.

Has scared you unintentionally, more than too many times. He'd come home at three in the morning from a mission, and all he wanted was to quietly peel his dirty uniform off and slip into bed with you. His main intention was to avoid waking you up, because you'd force him to shower before joining you in bed - and he was too tired for that. However, you'd been rounding the corner, up for your 3 am glass of water - you screamed as you saw the hulking, dark figure by the front door, launching your phone at him. He'd caught it effortlessly and shoved it into his back pocket. "What've I told ya 'bout using the bat?" "I was just getting water!" "I coulda been anyone." "Well you're not." "Missed ya, luvie." "Missed you too- but you're grimy. Go take a-" "No." He grabbed you and threw you over his shoulder, ignoring your protests as he hauled you back to bed.

[daisynik7]

Pairing: Takuma Ino x f!reader

Rating: Explicit – MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Word Count: ~1.7k

cw: explicit language, mentions of a popular horror movie, smut – PIV sex (cowgirl position), nipple play, blow job, mask kink, slight degradation (slut, whore), use of pet names (cutie, sweetie, baby) 

Summary: You and your new boyfriend Ino decide to watch a horror movie together in honor of spooky season. Halfway through, he notices how skittish you are, making him want to play a silly prank on you with his signature ski mask. It’s all fun and games until he realizes that you actually like seeing him in this way more than he anticipated. 

Author’s Note: Happy October y'all! What can I say, I am VERY into Takuma Ino right now and I just had to get this out of my system. This is barely edited or proofread, sorry for any grammar mistakes or typos, I really was just letting my fingers fly through this in a moment of passion LOL. Likes, reblogs, and/or comments are always appreciated, thank you for reading! MDNI banner by @/cafekitsune. 

You turn off all the lights, the only source of illumination coming from the TV screen, paused at the very start of the movie you decided to watch tonight. With a big bowl of freshly popped kernels in your grasp, you huddle beside your boyfriend, Ino, on the couch, covering both your legs with a fleece blanket. He wraps his arm around you, pulling you in closer, reaching to grab a handful of popcorn to stuff inside his mouth. “Ready?” he muffles, pointing the remote to the screen, finger pressed to the center button. 

Nuzzling your head against him, you answer. “Yup!”

It’s apparently one of those cult classic horror flicks according to Ino, who recommended it when you mentioned how you wanted to watch something scary for October. He’s seen it before, many times in fact, but he insists that you watch it. He has no clue how frightened you get over the silliest things, so tonight will be a treat for the both of you. 

The opening scene plays out: a beautiful blonde picks up the phone and the conversation ends quickly short because it’s the wrong number. Normal so far, good. It rings again, but now the caller seems interested in talking. Do you like scary movies? Do you have a boyfriend? The man’s voice gives you the creeps, and you find yourself shuddering from it, cuddling closer to Ino, who glances at you with a smirk on his face. 

You never told me your name.

Why do you want to know my name?

Because I want to know who I’m looking at.

This line gives you goosebumps and you lift the blankets up to hide behind it. “Ew, creepy!” Ino only laughs, throwing a few more pieces of popcorn into his mouth. 

It escalates from here, getting increasingly chaotic and violent. By the time you’re halfway into the film, the bowl is down to its last kernels and you’re crouched in Ino’s lap, peeking through your fingers. He pauses the movie after one particularly brutal kill. “Snack break! I’m going to make some more popcorn and go pee.”

“You’re leaving?!” you whine, clinging on to him as he tries to get up.

He chuckles. “Babe! It’s just a movie. I’ll be right back, okay?” He kisses you on the forehead, heading into the kitchen, leaving you alone in the living room. 

Of course it’s just a movie, but you can’t help feeling creeped out in the dark like this. You reach for one of the nightstands, turning on the lamp. You hear the drone of the microwave, and after a minute or so, the distinct sound of popping. Eventually, it comes to a stop, and the entire house is eerily quiet. You’re tempted to call out for Ino, wondering where he is, but you remember that he had to use the bathroom. 

Suddenly, a shadowy figure appears right behind on you on the couch, grabbing your shoulders and shouting gibberish at you. You scream bloody murder, ready to punch him and run away when Ino lifts his ski mask up to reveal himself, tears streaming down his face, cracking up at you. 

“Ino!” you yell at him, slapping his hands away from you. “You fucking asshole!”

He doubles over, cackling, wiping his eyes. It takes a good while for him to regain his composure as you glare at him, arms crossed over your chest. “I’m sorry, baby. I just couldn’t resist.” He sits beside you, stretching his arms out for a hug. “You have to admit, that was fucking hilarious.”

You shake your head, refusing. “You’re such a dick.”

“Oh, come on! It was just a little prank. Now you’ll be way more prepared for the rest of the movie!” He pulls the mask over his face again, everything covered except the holes for his eyes. “See? Not so scary anymore, right?”

You inspect him carefully, still pouting, not saying a word.

“I’m sorry, sweetie. Truly. I promise not to scare you again.” He scoots towards you, nudging you in the arm. 

You roll your eyes at him, relaxing. “Fine.”

“Can I get a kiss now?” 

He tries to lift his mask up, but you stop him, pulling it back down. “I don’t want to see your face right now. I’m still annoyed, you know.”

“Aw man! Really?”

You hoist it just past his nose, leaning in to give him a soft kiss on the lips. When you break apart, he smirks at you. “You like this, don’t you? Seeing me with my mask on.”

You shrug, a sly grin on your face, neither confirming nor denying his accusation. Sure, you were a bit upset at first, when he scared the shit out of you. But seeing his face covered like that may have sparked a desire in you that you never knew you had, until now. 

“Oh my god! You do, you do!” he exclaims, shaking your arm. “My cutie has a mask kink!”

“Shut up, asshole!” you yell at him, pretending to shove him off, smiling. 

“You’re a fucking freak!” he giggles, pouncing on you. He starts tickling you along your ribcage, causing you to squirm beneath him as he straddles you, trapping you between his legs. His fingers flutter under your arms, stroking your sensitive skin.

“Ino!” you cry out, laughing from the sensation. 

You can feel his cock growing hard in his pants, balls heavy on your stomach. Suddenly, he stops, mask still folded to expose his lips, leaning down to kiss you sloppily. He pins your hands above your head, locking his fingers with yours. He slips inside your mouth, grazing your tongue with his, hungry for your saliva. “Fuck,” he moans into you, nipping at your bottom lip. “You like this freaky shit, don’t you? Nasty slut.” His playful tone is laden with lust now, low and sultry, mouth brushing along your neck, sucking at your pulse points to mark you. 

You whine his name, wrapping your legs around his waist, grinding yourself against him. 

“Look at you, getting so fucking dumb all because of my mask,” he purrs. “What else turns you on, cutie? Tell me.”

Without thinking, you blurt out, “Spit. Your spit. I want it.”

“Oh shit,” he swears, licking his mouth. He traces the outline of your lips, beckoning you to open up, dribbling a thick wad of saliva inside you. You gulp it down, sticking your tongue out for more. 

“Oh fuck, you’re nasty,” he says, doing it again. “Makes me so fucking horny seeing you like this. Seeing my cutie act like a fucking whore.” He slips beneath your shirt, fondling your bare breasts, flicking your peaked nipples with his thumbs. 

“Fuck, Ino,” you whisper, pussy throbbing in your panties, arousal leaking through the fabric. 

“You like it when I play with your tits, huh?” Like it when I pinch them hard like this.” He squeezes them between his thumb and index finger, enough pressure to stimulate you, making you moan his name again and again.

He swears under his breath, shoving his pants down his legs, shimmying out of them until he’s only in his underwear now, erection stiff in his boxers. “You gonna suck my cock now or what, slut?” 

You nod, kneeling in front of him, knees on the carpet, spreading his thighs apart. He lifts his ass off the couch to slide out of his boxers, letting them fall around his ankles. You kiss the tip of his dick, smearing his precum around your lips like gloss before swallowing him into your mouth. 

He lets out a drawn out, “Fuck,” watching you with wide eyes as you bob up and down his shaft. Voice shaky, he asks, “Can I put my hands on you?”

Something about him in this ski mask makes you want to be submissive, makes you want to be used. You grab both his hands, guiding them towards the sides of your head, giving him free rein to manhandle you.

“Holy shit,” he murmurs, gripping you tighter, gradually thrusting his hips in tandem with you. His cockhead hits the back of your throat, teasing your gag reflex, but you resist, tears collecting in the corners of your eyes, enduring it. 

Noticing you, he pulls out, a string of spit between you. “Baby, baby. Please don’t force yourself. I don’t want to hurt you.” He reaches to his side, grabbing a tissue from the table beside the couch, wiping away the spit around your mouth and the tears in your eyes. “Come here, cutie. I want to make you feel good too.”

You strip out of your bottoms, straddling his lap, pussy wet and aching against him. He moans as you rock back and forth on his shaft, pressing his thumb to your clit, massaging it. “There we go. Now we both can feel good, yeah?”

After a few more strokes, you beg him to fuck you, lifting up to guide his cock inside you slowly, sinking down on him until he bottoms out. You bounce on him, his hands gripped to your waist, guiding you, moaning your name between expletives. 

As you approach your orgasm, you pull up his mask, placing it on his head as he usually wears it. He smiles brightly at you, nuzzling his nose to yours. “There’s my pretty girl. Can you come for me now? Come all over this cock?”

You kiss him passionately, arms wrapped around his neck as he thrusts into you, hands squeezed on your ass now. You reach your climax, moaning into his mouth. He comes with you, shooting his load deep into your womb, filling you up with his cream pie. The two of you continue to kiss slowly, catching your breaths. He caresses your back while you melt into his embrace. 

“We need to establish a safe word,” he suggests, cradling you in his arms. “I want to make sure I’m not hurting you.”

You hum into his skin, saying the first thing that comes to mind. “Popcorn."

He chuckles, stroking the back of your neck gently. “Alright. Popcorn it is.” A beat later, he exclaims, “Popcorn! I totally forgot about the popcorn!”

You laugh, giving your boyfriend a wet smooch on the cheek.

[spider-ghoul]

Babysitting <3

Percy Jackson X gn!reader (fluff)

In which: a call from Sally Jackson leads you to help with her youngest, and spend the night with her eldest son. Lingering glances and sleepy confessions only to be forgotten by morning.

Warnings: Reader is mentioned to be smaller than Percy once, kissing, none I can think of but as always lmk if there's anything!!

this might be complete shit lmao I finished this at like 3:00 am last night but I wanted to get something out to feed the beasts of this website

~~𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𓇼 ࣪ 𓈒ㅤׂㅤ⭒ 𓆡 ⭒ㅤ𓈒ㅤׂ 🫧~~

At six o'clock on a Friday, normally I'd be rotting in my bed after the week of school. And that was the plan, until Mrs. Jackson mom called.

"Oh- (y/n) I'm so sorry for asking but do you think you could watch Estelle tonight? Me and Paul had a date but Percy was going to the movies with Grover tonight and we-"

"Mrs. Jackson, yeah, it's fine. When do I need to be over?"

"Six is when we're leaving."

"I'll be there at five fifty."

"You're a savior."

This was perfectly fine. Me and Percy were friends and i was the only half-blood who lived around here. I watched Estelle a few times before too. No biggie. Except for the fact I'd been in love with Percy Jackson for...a while.

I mean, he was  kinda my friend. But god, he was Percy Jackson.

At five forty, i headed out. I grabbed my backpack, making sure i had the baby sitting essentials for any four year old: nail polish, beads, and my old rainbow loom (i also spent a extra minute making sure my hair looked okay so that if i saw a certain older brother) I figured that and the t.v. would be more than enough to keep us occupied till her bedtime at eight.

I got there right on time (surprisingly), and Sally greeted me with another thank you. She tried to hand over a few bucks cash, but i pushed her hand away.

She rushed out of the door with Paul after a few more (failed) attempts of paying me, leaving me with an excited two four old. And before too long, she had me watching Bluey (Though i do thoroughly enjoy that show), and making bracelets for us.

She watched as i showed her how to bead the string and make sure the letter beads where on the right way, and then she helped me choose colors.

To start i made one with her name in purple and white. She giggled and slide it on her wrist. I started working on a second one, and she told me to tie hers. It was all blue and had me spell out 'Percy' with beads for her.

"Is this for your brother?" She nodded excitedly, "well, we'll give it to him when he get here, okay?"

I got a solid hour with the beads before she got bored, and by the end both of our wrists had a fair share of bracelets littering them, and a small pile of three bracelets for Percy.

I seriously hope she's awake when he gets here, I can imagine the teasing that would come with handing him bracelets and saying, "oh yeah sorry I'm at your house haha baby sitting- oh me and your sister made you bracelets-". Or i could imagine our hands touching causing me to panic. I could imagine a million things actually.

I think this whole crush is really getting out of hand, especially with me becoming his mom's go to sitter now a days.

Estelle broke me from my thoughts with requests to watch 'Nemo', her favorite. We've watched it every time I've babysat. Part of me wonders if Percy likes it too, I mean with the whole sea god thing. 

As for her request, I made a bag of microwave popcorn and set her down in front of the TV.

I vaguely remember the opening, and Estelle fell asleep next to me before i dozed off myself.

I woke up a bit later, maybe half an hour? The movie wasn't finished, but Estelle was already fast asleep. I took the liberty of scooping her up and placing her in her own bed before going to clean up the main room.

It wasn't bad, just putting away my beads, and getting the popcorn bowl out of the way. I was tired enough, school was rough this week. I just planted myself back on the couch, finding Nemo not quite finished as I did.

I'm not quite sure when i feel back asleep, just that i did.

I'm also not quite sure when Percy Jackson sat down next to me, but he did.

I woke up, curled around a throw pillow, the end credits were playing. I rolled onto my back, and that's when I saw him.

Maybe i was too tired, or maybe he was just smiling, but i didn't feel all that anxious. At least not like i normally do around the son of the sea god.

"Do you always fall asleep to Nemo or is this a special occasion?"

"Do you always watch me sleep or is this a special occasion...?"

He laughed and my heart fluttered.

"Uhm, sorry your mom had me come over to babysit, I didn't know you'd be home yet." I say awkwardly smiley as i sit up, yawning. 

"It's fine, y/n. She texted me, sorry to have you waste a Friday."

"Oh its fine, better than doing nothing. Your sis was an angel, like always." I say, shifting, my shirt bunched up around my waist while I was sleeping. I was also pretty positive my hair was a mess. 

"Oh and speaking of my mom- before i forget." He pulled out a twenty, "now I figure you aren't gonna want to take it, but it's sally's orders."

"I'd feel bad, its just a favor. Your mom is always so nice, she patched me up after a monster attack once, this is just me repaying her."

"She did? When?" His eyebrows furrowed together, his eyes filled with concern.

And i felt my face getting hot again.

"A few weeks ago, your house was closer than mine, it's fine." I mutter, looking down. 

He sighed, "what happened?" he said, reaching out to put his hand over mine. I short wire for a moment, looking back up at him. 

"Just something on my way home from school, it wasn't bad."

After a brief moment of silence, i wanted to crawl out of my skin.

He sighed, "as long as you're fine." he lifted his hand off of mine, though I could still feel his warmth. 

I smiled weakly, "oh uh..what time is it?" 

"Uh.. ten-ish?"

"I should be getting home." I say, sighing turning away from him. 

"It's pretty late, I wouldn't want you to walk back alone."

"It's not far-"

"I'm sure my mom would say the same thing, you know."

I sighed, knowing he was right, "i don't want to intrude." 

"Neither me or Sally would care."

"...."

"...can i bribe you to stay with waffles?"

"...yeah you can." I sigh, any of Sally's food was enough to make me do just about anything. 

Percy smiled, making my heart melt.

"Great, it'll be like a sleepover. Do you need to borrow a shirt or something?"

"Yeah, that uhm- that would be great." I mutter, pushing myself up off the couch. My neck was sore, who would have guessed that a throw pillow wasn't great for sleeping? I stretch my arms out over my head, yawning again. 

"tired?" He chuckles, raising his eyebrow. 

"well you did just wake me up-" I resort, rolling my eyes. I always forget how nice Percy is. I always worry about stupid things, but when I'm with him none of it really matters.

"You woke up on your own- I was simply..." He trails off, and I laugh:

"Watching me sleep?" 

"What can I say? You looked so.. pretty." He look down at me, and I could swear my heart stops, but I don't look away.

"...Yeah, whatever." I mummer quietly,  staring into his eyes and blinking a few times before finally breaking eye contact.

After a short moment, He mumbles something about getting me to bed. I nod quickly, following him to his room, which is surprisingly clean. He digs though his dresser drawers for a moment, pulling out some old band tee, and blue plaid pants. He hands them to me. 

"Is this fine for you? might be a big big, just let me know-" 

"it's fine. No worries." I say quickly, taking them, making sure to avoid his hands. "Thanks." 

He smiles again, and I leave for the bathroom, my heart pounding in my ears. 'pretty'? it's nothing, Percy is just nice like that. 

I change into his clothes, the smell of ocean engulfing me as the soft fabric hangs from my body.  I can't help but to push my head into my shoulder. It smells like him. 

I ball up my jeans and tee shirt, shoving them into my backpack. I slipped out the bathroom once I calmed myself down enough to talk to him again. 

I walk up to Percy's door, "Hey, I'm gonna go lay down do you have a blanket or something I can use..?" 

His eyebrows furrowed as he looked up at me from where he was laying on his bed, "You don't seriously think I'm making you sleep on the couch-?" 

"Well I kinda assumed..?" 

"Get over here you dork." He said, scooting over on his bed, "Plenty of room- you don't mind, do you?" 

Part of me lit on fire, and part of me was desperate to put it out. My ears got hot, but I managed to nod.

"No, I don't mind.." 

I place my bag on the floor by the door, walking up and sitting on his bed, sliding my legs under the covers and sliding down to lay next to him. I was stiff, worried to so much as touch him. But eventually, I relaxed, turning to lay on my side, facing him. 

I looked at him through half-lidded eyes, my body already starting to sink into his bed, ready to get a proper night's sleep. My eyelids slowly drifted shut. 

I was woken when Percy broke the silence. 

"Y/N?" Percy whispered, almost silent. 

"Mhm..?" I mumbled back, not bothering to open my eyes. 

"I really like you, you know that?" 

If I wasn't half asleep, maybe I would have said something different. If I had the energy maybe I would have been flustered. 

"... I really like you too." 

I only heard him chuckle before he placed a hand on my hip. 

"Get some sleep, yeah? I'll confess my undying love when you'll properly Remember it." 

I must have frowned, because he laughed lightly and pulled me a little closer. 

It didn't matter though. I slipped back to sleep, and when I woke up I didn't  remember. 

I remembered waking up some point in the night, but I didn't know what was said. 

And in the morning, I got the promised waffles and left the Jackson's apartment. 

The ever chivalrous Percy Jackson (who I woke up cuddling with), offered to walk me home. 

We took the long way, and when we reached my door step, he pressed his lips to mine and told me he couldn't wait for me to babysit again, though he wouldn't mind me coming around before then. 

He left me breathless and giddy, and so so happy to have accepted Sally's offer.

[aennasan]

There is a reason why Kenji Sato stays hole up in his room whenever he is sick.

It wasn't because he is too sick to move around and take care of himself. If that happens, Mina would have taken care of him in a pod, where he could rest for the whole day, and feel better the next day.

It wasn't because he hates being seen as weak either. The idea of being seen at his most vulnerable may have brought a pink hue on his cheeks but it didn't bother him as much. He is sick after all. There is nothing wrong with that.

What bothers him is the fact that he could be a bit….er….. clingy. When he is feeling under the weather, the constant warmth of someone is very comforting to him.

Actually, a bit clingy may be an understatement.

When Mina informed you that Kenji cannot meet you for the day because he is not feeling well, it worried you so much, especially, when Mina insisted that he would be alright and she would take care of him.

Although Mina is an amazing help, how could you just sit back, and wait for him to get better without checking up on him, or lending a hand to take care of your own boyfriend.

Mina was insistent that you shouldn't. But you refused to back down, so against her better judgment, she let you in, with a reminder and an ominous warning; “I wish you goodluck.”

The moment you stepped foot out of work, you made your way to his house, and it broke your heart to see him bundled up, and sleeping under the covers. His shivers were so intense, that even if he is hiding beneath a bunch of fluff, you can see the tremors above.

“Kenji, I am here. Do you need anything?” You softly called out to him, and patted the area, where you thought he would have his head.

After hearing your voice, his tremors stopped… for a moment. He whipped his head out of the covers with renewed vigor, eyes wide, nose red, his whole face is pale with sickness.

You almost fell backwards when he suddenly hugged your torso and nestled his head on your stomach. You shivered at the sudden shift of temperature, feeling the heat boiling out of his skin, goosebumps forming on the part of your body he touched.

“How are you? Feeling better?” You asked. Voice laced with concern and worry. He didn't reply, instead he just shook his head like a kid. You put your hand on his forehead to check his fever, and you don't need a thermometer to know that even if it was midday now, his fever hasn't gone down.

“I’ve brought some porridge. Let me put them in a bowl so you could eat. Mina told me that you refused to eat anything. That is not good, you need food to have energy, and for the medicine to work.”

Removing his arms tightly hugging you, you scold him softly, and leave a kiss on his forehead before putting a plaster of kool fever, to help with his high temperature. You heard him cooed at the coolness, and watch as he closes his eyes, as you help him tucked back on his bed. His head resting comfortably on his pillows. You left his room, and made sure to close his door softly, before heading towards his kitchen, and put the food you bought in the microwave to heat it up.

Even outside his room, the air is thickened with the heady smell of sickness. Usually, Kenji would play even if he was sick. However, with the gloomy atmosphere of his house, and the minimal lights opened. You are sure that he never even set foot out of his room, for anything. You tapped your finger on the counter, as you watched the red blinking number countdown. You were in deep thought worrying over Kenji, that you didn't see the shadow looming behind you, the quiet steps he took as he approached you.

You let out a scream of bloody murders when an army suddenly snaked around your waist. His face resting at the crook of your neck. His arms tighten up, whenever you try to move or do anything, refusing to let you go.

“Kenji? Oh god! You scared me! What are you doing here?

“You're taking too long.” He replied. Voice muffled because he still refuses to remove his face, nestling on your neck.

“Too long? I'm just heating up your food for five minutes. I will be back soon.” You convince him, as you try to remove his arms around you. Feeling uncomfortable with his high body heat, racked with fever. He is still way too strong for someone who is sick.

“No.”

“No?”

“No.” He repeated. And you admit a bunch of question marks were forming on your head.

What exactly is going on? Also…Where is Mina? She is awfully quiet. She didn't even inform you about Kenji walking towards you.

Kenji Sato. Your boyfriend. Refuses to leave or move or let go of you, no matter how much you begged him too. He would even tsk or let out noises of disapproval whenever you try to do something to outsmart him.

So in the end, you just make yourself comfortable while he snuggle and hug your arm. His head resting on your chest.

“Kenji, what if I get sick too because you are way too close to me.”

“I’ll take care of you. And snuggle with you too.”

You are trying your best not to let out an exasperated sigh. No one told you that Kenji could be so clingy whenever he feels sick and vulnerable.

It got to the point that even if you excuse yourself going to the bathroom, he would throw a tantrum and cry, if you don't allow him in and allow him to hold your hand to do your business. The second time he refuses to let you go, you scolded him for a bit, which made him let you go alone, although reluctantly. You watch as he just sits there by the door, looking so sad and lonely, that guilt gnaws in your chest.

He looks like a kicked puppy, more than his usual wolfish demeanor and persona, which seeks to be always on the top.

After some time, Kenji finally slept like a log. The fever finally went down. You let out a sigh of relief and did your best not to make a sound so as to not wake him up.

You have learned your lesson when you woke him up earlier. You were greeted by a disgruntled Kenji, scowling, and full of distrust. He would close his eyes but the moment he realizes he did, he will shoot awake and scowl at you with a pout. Asking if you moved. Even if you say no, he will just glare at you.

It was like playing a game you will never ever win so you just sat there, holding his hand tightly, patting his side, humming a melody, to make him feel relaxed and finally sleep.

You thank all the gods when you pull your hand from his hold, and all he does is grumbles a bit before turning, and continues sleeping.

You tiptoed walking towards outside his room, making sure that you will not make any noise, as you slowly close his door. You were in bated breath as you carefully walked backwards away from his door, counted to ten, and cried tears of joy when no angry Kenji went out to lash out at your disappearance.

You almost had a heart attack when the moment you turned, Mina was in front of you.

“Mina, you-”

“I wished you good luck. I even told you not to go.” The AI replied with a sound followed by a shrug.

You're probably just so tired and drained that you have no energy to argue, and you even thanked her for preparing a meal and a hot bath for you as an apology.

Although, a sick Kenji is a pain in the ass, you admit he looks kind of cute and adorable, pouting and clingy like that. You just hope that when he does that next time, it wasn't because he was sick.

You can't take cute photos of a sick Kenji Sato, right?

[inkskinned]

the body is such a strange and vapid creature. i am eating soup with noodles that i cooked in a microwave. i don't know how microwaves work, only that most of my meals come from her yellow mouth. i put mine on the fridge; i have to stand on tip toes to take the bowl out, balancing it on fingertips.

i have to eat soup because i'm coughing up blood.

when you have been raised wrong, conditions of alarm are offset. which is to say that three weeks ago, i had a panic attack because i thought i saw him the liquor store. i collapsed into a heap, ready to sob into multicolored gin bottles. it was just someone who looked a lot like him, working a shitty 9-5. the poor man. what must it be like, to have someone go pale at your profile.

i spoke too loudly during a zoom meeting, and nobody answered immediately. the shame of that scoured my entire ribcage clean. i hated the experience so much i wrote it down in my notes: a reminder not to be so fucking annoying!

but the conditions of alarm are met at the moment. i am well-and-truly ill, the blood in my hand and on the pavement. at this moment in dr. house episodes i would be swaying, and then i'd collapse delicately and awaken in a crisp hospital bed. instead my dog bites my hand in excitement. now there is blood on his muzzle.

i am diabolically, almost robotically calm about it. i laugh about it, actually. i am feeling positively waifish. i am one nightgown away from holding an oil lamp up and saying milord? are thee turnin' in for the night? new blood is pinkish, almost feminine in her brightness, a tease into the tissue.

i haven't ever cried at a funeral. i didn't know you were actually allowed to. it felt like new blood - a way of making it about me, when my job is to flatter the shadows and stay tucked out of the way. i am always doing something for someone else. i am always earning my keep. i am always loveable, because i will do what it takes to make you able to love me.

here are the personal things i have been worried about in the last three weeks: if the spider i put outside was now able to restart her life. if an hour and a half every day is enough walking for a greyhound. if i drink too much coffee. if all my friends secretly hate me. if i'm a bad friend and i should be sad about it. what happens after this next goalpost? what if i'm deeply and inherently boring?

i cough up blood. my mouth tastes like iron gummies. i am not worried about this. my body is a seahorse. my body is an ocean wave. i can detach from it, be outside of it - just float away.

[cal-flakes]

could u pleaseee write a blurb abt reader accidentally hitting rages nuts while try to get comfy cuddle him and he starts swearing and like whining like a little baby cause it hurts and reader juat try’s to comfort him xoxo

ABSOLUTELY YES (assuming i read this correctly, this gif felt fitting) i hope it’s what you wanted, enjoy <33

╰┈➤ rafe gets injured

warnings: swearing.

summary: while trying to get yourself comfortable on top of your boyfriend as you settle down to watch a film, you accidentally hurt him.

the smell of butter popcorn fills the air as you stand in the kitchen, bored. according to you, three minutes is a very long time to wait for popcorn. “you coming baby?” rafe calls from the living room, waiting for you to come watch american psycho with him. “just a minute!” you call back.

the loud beeps of the microwave break your concentration on your nails, alerting you the popcorns done. sighing contently, you open the bag, careful not to burn yourself, before pouring the contents into a large sharing bowl. sparing the kitchen one last glance to make sure you haven’t forgotten anything, you switch off the light and head through to the living room.

as you set the bowl down on the coffee table in front of him, you scanned his figure, internally screaming at how good he looks splayed across the couch. “where am i supposed sit?” you pouted, poking fun at how he’s taken up the whole damn chair. rafe smirks up at you before gesturing for you to simply climb on top of him. deciding to be a bit pedantic, you do exactly that and plonk yourself down on top of him.

nothing could prepare you for the dramatics that would happen next. “fuck!” rafe yells, possibly louder than you’ve ever heard him. your eyes widen at the scene before you. rafe rolls around the rug on the floor, clutching his crotch, possibly in tears.

at first you thought he was being dramatic and let out a loud laugh, that was until he began his torrent of curses.

“it’s not fucking funny y/n! do you know how much that fucking hurt?” rafe shouts out in a weak voice, somewhat out of breath. realising what you had accidentally done, you crawl over to him and sit by his side. rafe flinches as you put your hand on his cheek and turns to face you. “oh my god! i’m so sorry! im so so so so sorry! i didn’t mean to!” you pleaded, noticing the tears welling up over his waterline. stroking his face, you lean down to kiss his forehead while he continues his hold down below.

sighing breathlessly, he rolls over onto his back as the pain subsides. his eyes narrow at you, shooting daggers. “you are so going to regret that y/n” he jokes as he quickly jumps up. before you could blink, rafe had you locked in his arms, pinned underneath him as he began tickling you.

kicking and screaming, you struggle to get away from his grip. “rafe! i-im sorry! i didn’t mean to!” you choke out between laughs.

you could never understand why tickling made a person laugh, especially when it was one of the top five torture methods, or atleast it was in your books.

[lemoncrushh]

Anniversary Pancakes

Summary: Harry and his daughter make breakfast for his wife on their anniversary

Warnings: None, cutesy family fluff (very small mention of sex at the beginning)

Word Count: 1264

A/N: From my 2016 collection, this is written from Harry's POV.

I was in love with her. After six blissful years of marriage, I was still as much in love with her as I'd been the day we said "I do."

I woke up before she did, thinking about the night we'd shared. I'd made love to her three times, each time bringing her to the brink as she called out my name. Then we'd laid in each other's arms, whispering sweet nothings, exchanging confirmations of our everlasting love. The sun was just starting to rise, a blueish glow streaming through the curtains. I laid in bed watching her for a good ten minutes, her chest rising and falling as puffs of breaths escaped her lips. She was so beautiful, it took all the strength I had not to wake her up with a gentle kiss. But I wanted to let her sleep. Today was our anniversary, and I had plans.

I sauntered into the kitchen squinting my eyes when I flipped the switch, light illuminating the granite countertops. I started the coffee brewing, knowing that's the first thing my love likes when she wakes up. Opening the refrigerator, I pulled out the eggs, milk, cheese, spinach and bacon. I'd just finished whisking the eggs in a bowl when I heard the pitter patter of little feet on the hardwood floor.

"Morning, Daddy," my little girl said softly as she appeared around the corner, her tiny fist rubbing her eye.

"Morning, princess, what are you doin' up so early?"

She merely shrugged before reaching her arms out to me for a hug. I set the bowl down on the counter and lifted her into my arms, giving her a kiss on her forehead.

"Whatcha makin'?" she asked me.

"An omelet," I replied. "For your mum."

"What's a omnet?"

I giggled as her mispronunciation. "Omelet. It's eggs with stuff in it."

My daughter made a face, showing me she did not approve. I shook my head and set her down on the nearby stool to watch me. I got the first pan ready for the bacon.

"Daddy, I'm hungry," I heard behind me as the bacon started to sizzle.

"What would you like to eat, love?"

"Pancakes."

I chuckled. "I don't think I know how to make those all by myself. Can you help me?"

"Uh huh!"

I flipped the bacon over before turning to my little girl.

"Will you get me a bowl from under there?" I pointed to the cabinet next to her.

"Okay."

She hopped off her stool, eagerly searching for the bowl she knew her mum had used to made pancakes in before. When she came up with it in her little hands, a satisfied grin on her face, she handed it to me.

"Here you go, Daddy."

"Alright monkey," I said. "First I need some flour. Do you know where that is?"

Her little arm immediately shot out across the counter, her finger pointing to a canister.

"In there?" I raised a brow, teasing her. "You sure?"

"Uh huh," she nodded. "The big one is flour."

I grabbed the large canister and lifted the lid, widening my eyes.

"What do ya know! There's flour in here!"

My daughter giggled, covering her mouth. I winked at her, dropping some of the flour into the bowl. Then I added baking powder, salt and sugar.

"Will you stir that for me while I grab this bacon off the fire?"

I lifted her back to her stool, handing her a big spoon. I removed the bacon from the stove while she stirred.

"Good job," I remarked. "Now we get to add the egg."

"Can I do it?" she pleaded.

"Uh...how 'bout we add it together."

"'kay."

I cracked the egg gently as I covered her hand that held it, opening it with precision, careful not to get any shells in the bowl.

"What am I missing?" I narrowed my eyes, putting my finger to my chin.

My little girl shifted her eyes back and forth before giving me a big shrug, her hands in the air.

"Butter!" I exclaimed.

I quickly grabbed some from the fridge, warming it in the microwave to melt. I let the little one pour it into the bowl while I started heating the griddle. Then grabbing the whisk once again, I handed it to her.

"I like the whisk," she commented, her S held out longer than the other letters. I smiled as I watched her move it around the bowl.

"Here, bug," I said, covering her hand again, showing her how to whisk the ingredients.

Her wee little tongue poked out of the side of her mouth in concentration. I brushed her hair back with my other hand, kissing the side of her face. God, I loved my family.

"Alright," I chimed. "Time for pouring."

My daughter watched as I poured the pancake mix onto the griddle. While I waited for it to bubble, I poured my previously prepared egg mixture into the second pan to make my wife's omelet.

I'd just folded the eggs and had made two good pancakes when I heard a little voice say cheer "Mommy!"

"Hi, precious," she said, her voice still groggy from sleep.

Our little girl hopped off the stool once again to wrap her arms around her mum.

"What's all this?" my love inquired, lifted her head to look at me.

"We made breakfast!" our daughter danced.

"You did?" Her eyes were locked on mine.

I grinned at her sheepishly, setting down the spatula. Then I pulled her to me, planting a soft kiss to her lips.

"Happy Anniversary," I murmured against her mouth.

She leaned her forehead against mine. "I love you."

"I love you more."

"Daddy?"

"Yes, monkey?" I asked, even though my eyes were still on my wife.

"What's a ammivassy?"

I grinned. "It means your mum and I love each other a whole lot. And today is the day we celebrate."

My beautiful woman's face beamed back at me as I took it in my hands, kissing her once again.

"Harry..." she said when she broke the kiss.

"Yeah?" I asked, my lips pressed to her jaw.

"Something's burning."

"Shit!" I exclaimed.

I tore away from her to remove the scorched pancake from the griddle. As I cursed under my breath, I heard her chuckle behind me. Luckily, it was only one pancake. And I was able to save her omelet. I felt her hand on my back as I poured more of the mix.

"This is wonderful," she whispered in my ear. "You're wonderful."

Her arms wound around my waist as she rested her head on my back. Then she kissed my neck before backing away. I winked at her as she poured herself a cup of coffee, adding the creamer she liked.

"C'mon, precious, let's go sit at the table so we can have this delicious breakfast you and Daddy made."

I slipped an omelet onto a plate along with bacon, setting it in front of her. Then I gave my little girl her stack of pancakes, covered in syrup before making a plate for myself. I ate with my gorgeous ladies, another morning of complete joy.

My wife smiled at me as she ate, a look on her face that told me something else was on her mind. Perhaps she woke up thinking about last night too.

"I love you," she mouthed silently.

I was about to declare my love in return when my little girl spoke.

"Daddy?"

"Yes, love?" I turned to her, giving her my undivided attention.

"When is our ammivassy?"

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[intimidating-fettuccine]

Random quirks/habits some creeps have

I might make a part two of this in the future

Toby squeezes things in his sleep. If he's sleeping with you, he likes to gently wrap himself around you or lay a hand on you and gently squeeze you. If he's sleeping alone, he wraps himself up in his blankets and constantly squeezes them overnight. He doesn't know he does this, it's just something that relaxes him and comforts him while he's sleeping. 

Jeff bounces his leg obsessively. It does not matter where he is sitting or what he is doing, he is going to be bouncing his leg. If enough people voice complaints he will stop for that session, but the next time he sits down somewhere else, he will start again. If you want him to discreetly stop you, or someone like Liu or BEN have to sit next to him and put your hand firmly on his leg to get him to realize he's doing it. Also taps his foot if he's standing.

Slender reorganizes things on a very regular basis. When he can't think and he's feeling stressed, he destresses himself by reorganizing all of his stuff. It could be his office, it could be his bedroom, his closet, or the entire downstairs of the mansion, but he will be moving things around until his mind is settled and he can finally breathe and think again. Literally, NOTHING can stop him when he gets like this. Unless Toby breaks his legs falling out of a tree again, that stops him, but nothing else.

 I think I might have mentioned this in response to a question once before, but I am bringing it back. EJ needs a type of scratching post. Since my EJ is a feline demon he has sharp claws and instinctually likes to scratch things, and so he essentially has what equates to demonic scratch boards that he can dig his claws into whenever he gets angry and wants to scratch something. Sometimes he growls when he uses them, sometimes he purrs, but regardless, it relaxes and soothes him to use them. Some he keeps around the mansion, some are high up on his bedroom walls, and some are hanging high up around the mansion. He likes standing and stretching high up the most to use them. You are the only person allowed to watch him use them.

LJ juggles when he gets nervous. He doesn't know why or how it started, but when he gets extremely anxious for long periods of time, he juggles to destress himself. Sometimes it's standard juggling props like bowling pins, but sometimes he will just juggle random objects so long as he can have at least three of them. The more objects he's juggling at a time, the more anxious he is. His current record for anxiety juggling is 14 balls. 

BEN, when feeling anxious or dissociative or selectively mute, communicates through electronics. He will speak through his phone, or the microwave, or the TV, or a computer, or the old rotary phone Slender has hanging from the downstairs kitchen wall. Any electronic near him, he'll produce a voice through to communicate. The voice sounds mostly like him, but it's much more robotic and detached, much like how he's feeling. If he's feeling too anxious or mute to do that, he'll produce text bubbles above him displaying what he would want to say, just like how I've headcanoned he can make emojis appear around him.

[upsidedownwithsteve]

Love Sucks II. The Interrogation

Vampire!Steve Harrington x fem!reader He’s just a gloomy, little guy.

The Masterlist 🩸

You scolded Eddie and Dustin immediately. 

But Steve didn’t seem to mind, shrugging in that tired way that he did as he wandered off into the corner of the Wheeler’s kitchen with them. They’d set up an awful interpretation of what you deemed to be an interview room, the dining table pushed into the darker space where the light from the window didn’t reach, Nancy’s old desk lamp plugged in beside the microwave, the bulb shining harshly at the empty seat Steve was told to sit in. 

He blinked as he did, tired eyes aggravated by the brightness but he just squinted and slumped in the chair, looking over at you with that longing way he did. You held up a coffee cup at him in question, smiling. He nodded, pleased. 

“I assume you know why you’re here,” Eddie began as the rest of the party milled around aimlessly. 

Some were listening, others were bickering about what to watch on TV. Nancy was making popcorn and Robin was already asleep in the armchair beside Max. 

Steve nodded, knowing it was only a matter of time before he got the big brotherly talk from Eddie about you. He readied himself for the questions about his interest in you, his intentions, how he planned to keep you safe from— 

“Can you turn into a bat?” Dustin asked instead. 

Steve frowned, confused. 

“Dustin!” You scolded the younger boy from across the kitchen, teaspoon clattering into the mug, coffee grains spilling on Mrs Wheeler’s countertop. “What the hell?”

“What?” Dustin yelled back, arms held out in question. “It’s a serious question!”

Eddie was grinning, wide and a little manic, looking from Steve to you and back again. “Well?” He asked the boy. 

“This is so rude. You cannot be for real, Eddie.” You went ignored, eye roll and all. 

“Um, no?” Steve answered, squinting at the two through the light they were intent on keeping aimed at him.  

“You sound unsure,” Eddie countered, dubious. He wasn’t allowed to smoke in the Wheeler’s house so he was chewing on the end of a bubblegum pink straw instead. He waved it at your boyfriend, suspicious. “Is that because you haven’t tried or aren’t allowed to say?”

Steve looked at you for help. “Why wouldn’t I be allowed to say?” He replied weakly, visibly concerned and confused. 

Dustin shrugged before leaning across the table, bright eyed and grinning toothily. “Vampire overlord, maybe?”

Steve shifted uncomfortably. You were still making coffee, too far out of reach for him to hold your hand. Steve loved holding your hand, you were so much softer and warmer than him and sometimes you painted your fingernails a really pretty colour— someone cleared their throat. “Uh, I don’t think I’ve met him yet…”

Eddie and Dustin reacted immediately to this answer, heads bent and producing a notebook from seemingly nowhere, scribbling down notes in chicken scratch handwriting about their ‘findings.’ 

“… does he live around here?” Steve tried once more. “Is he my boss? Am I going to get in trouble?”

You soothed him with a hand over his hair, appearing at his back to place down his coffee in front of him, black and unsweetened in a mug as big as a soup bowl.. “Sorry, baby,” you offered, shaking your head at your two friends. 

Steve loved it when you called him baby. 

It went on like that for a while, Ghostbusters playing in the living room while Eddie and Dustin kept Steve at the table under the spotlight, drilling him about things you could only shake your head at. 

“Can you fly?”

“No.” 

More notes written, a worrying sentence jotting down about taking Steve somewhere high for experimentation. 

“Can you run fast?”

“Uh, I have asthma…”

“What about jumping? Can you jump onto the roof?”

“I haven’t like, you know,, tried. Heights are scary.”

Sighs, heavy and disappointed, came from the kitchen. Steve was pouting, arms crossed. 

“Can you read minds?”

“No.”

A brief pause, and then Dustin whispered to Eddie,  eyes narrowed and still on Steve: “he’s lying.”

“I’m not!”

“Can you turn invisible?” 

“No.”

“Do you sleep in a coffin?”

“What? No?”

Eddie paused, studying Steve. “Unconvinced,” he concluded. “Further investigation required.”

“How come you can come out in the daylight?”

“I don’t know, but that lamp is super bright, guys..”

Stumped, Dustin and Eddie finally relented. Ghostbusters was just finishing, the rest of the kids tired from too much sugar and arguing about who the best team member was. 

“So you’re just a really shitty vampire, huh?” Eddie asked, his nose scrunched and sounding unaffected.

“Kinda boring, actually,” Dustin agreed. 

They were both staring at Steve with a little disappointment, like two kids who’d finally found out Santa Claus wasn’t real. They sighed again and got up, raiding the Wheeler’s pantry for snacks while they left behind a sad and insecure vampire. 

You scowled at the boys as you passed, punching Eddie on the arm a little harder than what would be considered good natured. You nudged your way between Steve and the table, folding yourself onto his lap and into his arms. He wound himself around you immediately, grumbling softly into the crook of your neck about bats and powers and being a poor excuse for a cryptid. 

Later, over dinner, you stole Eddie’s last slice of pizza and scolded him for giving your boyfriend a vampire complex. 

[markhoffmans-certified-slut]

First Time With Billy Loomis

Pairing: Billy Loomis x female!reader

Word count: 5.3K

Warnings/contents: Smut: Fingering, blow job, rougher sex, various sex positions, orgasms, light dirty talk, light daddy kink. Strong language. Fluff.

Notes: I wrote this… really fast. I proofread it because I finished this around 5 am last night. I enjoyed writing this one a lot and I really hope that you guys enjoy this. The chapter advances fast, but I feel like that is what sex with Billy would be like: fast, rough, hard— then having a few moments of rest before going again.

<>~<>~<> 

The weather was awful: the man on the news had previously in the day said that it was supposed to storm all night long, and so far, he was right.

The rain started at 9 PM and it hadn’t even lightened up by now at almost 11 PM. You didn’t mind much, listening happily to the loud thunder and the rain hitting hard against the windows by your front door. You yawned lightly, watching a boring movie and yet being unable to find anything interesting so you’d simply settled. It had been about five minutes since your last text from Billy. You wondered if he might’ve fallen asleep since he’d woken up early this morning.

Letting the movie continue playing, you stood and walked towards your small kitchen and raided the fridge. You really needed to go shopping, the only thing edible it seemed was the take out box of Chinese leftovers you had from two nights ago when Billy and Stu were over for movie night.

You settled when your stomach growled, grabbing the container full of orange chicken as well as the fried rice container and shut the fridge. The microwave was convenient for things such as this; late night snacking when you knew that you shouldn’t eat, but being unable to sleep and being hungry was never a good mix.

Reaching for the microwave and opening the door, you smiled at the sound of thunder booming across the sky overhead. This was the perfect weather to read. If only it wasn’t so late and your eyes were tired you might be interested in picking up the book you were currently reading.

A rapid knock on the door made you jump. Quickly checking your phone that sat face up on the counter and seeing no message from Billy, you cautiously walked towards the door and peeked out of the peephole. Billy stood there, nearly soaked. You opened the door quickly and moved aside.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, shutting and locking the door behind the man as he pushed his wet hair back from his face. “I figured you fell asleep.”

“I couldn’t sleep.” He said simply, stripping his coat off and hanging it over the stool beneath your counter. “Smells like leftovers.” He leaned in, pressing a quick kiss to your lips that you easily returned. His lips were cold, worrying you.

“You’re soaked,” you said, gesturing to the man to stay while you went to get a towel from the bathroom. It was a good thing that you had just done laundry and all of your towels were clean and smelt fresh. You walked back towards your front door, watching Billy strip his shirt off. “Here, dry off so you can get warm.” You took the shirt for him, trading him the towel. He wrapped the towel around his shoulders and kicked off his shoes with a sigh.

“Thanks. I hope I’m not bothering you.” With a smile, you reached forward and wiped a drop of water that was sliding down his cheek away from his handsome face.

“You’re never a bother. I’m sorry you got so wet.” He gave a quick shrug and unbutton his jeans, nearly making you flush as you looked away and walked back around the counter towards the microwave.

“I had to park far away. I figured it would be fine. I have clothes here.”

“They’re in the top drawer of my dresser,” you said with your back turned to the man as you watched your bowl turn slowly in the microwave, stomach grumbling again at the smell. Without a word, Billy walked towards your bedroom, knowing your apartment like the back of his hand. He’d spent many days and nights here with you. Even whole weekends when neither of you were busy.

You stopped the timer at 30 seconds and pulled the hot bowl out, using your fork to stir the food up. You gave a soft sound in content, excited to taste the food that had been calling your name the previous night. You were happy now that you saved it instead of eating it.

With a soft gasp, you jumped slightly before giving a soft chuckle when Billy wrapped his cold arms around you and leaned in to kiss your neck. You shivered at his touch.

“Your nose is freezing. Go get under the blanket, silly.” You were willing to give him the blanket on the sofa that you were using throughout the night to warm him up. He gave a soft hum, pressing another kiss to your shoulder before he let you go and went to sit on the sofa, wrapping the blanket around himself. “You can put whatever you want on.” You called to the man. “I couldn’t find anything to watch and just stuck with this movie.”

Bringing your bowl to the sofa and sitting snug beside the man, you watched him scroll through the channels that you had as he wrapped an arm around your warm body. You kissed his forearm before you leaned up and took a bite of the hot food; you nearly burned your tongue, but it was too delicious for you to hold out on. With a soft huff after you swallowed, you took another bite and hummed in content.

Billy put on a movie, a comedy that he had always liked, and turned his attention to you. You felt the mans heavy stare and sent him a small smile— something he returned before leaning in and pressing a kiss to your lips. You gave in, leaning gently into the man and returning his slow kiss. The bowl was warm on your lap, slowly starting to cool down but you decided to risk eating cold leftovers for the taste of Billy’s soft lips.

He raised his hand, gently gripping your chin and teasing your lip with his tongue. You gave a soft giggle and returned the gesture with your tongue against his mouth. Before Billy shoved his tongue past your lips, you pulled back and sent him a smile.

“Let me eat in peace,” you teased, earning a soft chuckle from the man as you turned back to your bowl.

“You leaned into it.”

“I know.” Billy’s fingers gently caressed your shoulder as he turned his gaze back to the television while you finished up your food. If he was going to get what he wanted tonight, he knew he’d have to be patient either way.

<>~<>~<>

As soon as your bowl of food was gone, you snuggled into Billy’s side, engulfed in his warmth from being dry and in your snuggly apartment. The weather was still bad— thunder booming loudly, hard enough that you swore you felt the building shake. The rain was falling hard and you were glad that Billy was here with you, holding you comfortingly and occasionally pressing a kiss to your head.

The two of you were going on 5 months of being together and you were nearly inseparable. Billy had been the best boyfriend that you’d had in the past— something you were incredibly relieved about. Having nothing but bad experiences thus far, you finally felt safe in Billy’s arms when the two of you napped together. Having him around just felt right.

With a yawn, you pulled away from Billy for a moment to stretch your body out. He quickly looked at you and raised an eyebrow.

“Sleepy?”

“No— I napped at like 6 o’clock. The weather is just making me think about how many naps I take when it storms.” He gave a soft hum in response, watching you as you shifted on the sofa in order to stay close to the man and let your sleeping foot stretch out onto the coffee table. You looked at Billy and smiled softly. “Are you tired?”

“Not at all.” You hummed, leaning closer to the man.

“Good.” Giving the man a soft kiss was your intention, but instead he leaned closer to you and extended your original plan. You didn’t fight it, pressing a hand to his thigh and kissing him back. The kiss was sweet— much like your previous— it was slow. Like before, you felt engulfed in the man and didn’t want it to end. You felt this way nearly every time that the two of you had made out.

He was an excellent kisser; his taste was simple and his smell was immaculate. Everything about him being so close to you made you desperate for more. He reached down, placing his hand on your leg and giving it a soft squeeze as he leaned closer into you. Shifting along with the man, you leaned gently back on the sofa with him on top of you. Your arms circled around his shoulders, keeping him close as he pushed his tongue into your mouth.

You gave a soft sound in content and shifted beneath the man, seemingly only making him press closer. One of your legs dangled off the sofa, your other between his legs. Billy pressed fully against you, an obvious hardness between his legs that made your cheeks flush. It was far from the first time Billy had gotten hard when the two of you were making out. It was also far from the first time that you had helped him out and let him touch you as well.

However, the two of you have never had sex.

After being in relationships where you were used purely for your body, you wanted to wait; to let the man prove that he was with you for you, not for your waistline and breasts.

But that didn’t mean you didn’t miss sex. That didn’t mean that you weren’t excited to feel him inside of you. In fact, it was far from it. You tingled at the thought of his fingers pushing inside of you again while he sucked on your neck. You gave a quick exhale when your lips parted for Billy to turn his head, but you were as quick as he was to connect your lips again. You grabbed tight onto the mans shoulders, giving a soft hum when he shifted his hips against you.

You were easily convinced by the man to give into his sexual desires. You shared them, thinking purely of the way his cock looked and how it felt in your mouth. You didn’t want to wait any longer, and you knew that Billy didn’t want to either. It seemed unspoken at the moment while you pulled on his dark blue shirt by the collar and ached to keep him closer. Your opposite hand buried in his hair, giving it a light tug that earned a soft grunt from the man over you.

Using your grip on his head to your advantage, you leaned your own back and gently guided his head down. He didn’t hesitate, his lips moving to your neck while your pulse beat rapidly beneath him with every kiss. You closed your eyes, the sound of the movie long drawn out by the sound of the rain and your racing thoughts. Billy was quick to give you a love bite that made you yelp before he kissed your skin again.

Slowly, he licked a trail along your warm skin and up to your chin. You looked back at the man, getting a few seconds to gaze into his eyes before he pressed his lips back to yours. The sight you saw was different than other times the two of you were in this position; he was aching for you like you were aching for him. You could tell by the lustful gaze in his dark eyes that you loved so much.

Billy wasn’t always the most expressive man, but his eyes told you everything that you needed to know. His love for you, his desperation for you, and right now his lust for you.

You were certain that your eyes matched his gaze. Your actions certainly did. Your lips were feverish against his, arms grabbing him tightly as you wrapped your leg around his waist and pushed his hips down against yours. Billy gave into his urge, grinding his hips against you and earned a sweet sound in return. His teeth caught your bottom lip, gently nibbling on it and giving it a soft suck before he let you go and pulled back with heavy breaths.

“Wanna go to your room?”

“I really do.” Both of you were out of breath, but he was quick to stand and grab your hand to help you as well. He pressed another kiss to your lips, one you leaned into quickly.

The two of you stumbled towards your bedroom, nearly tripping over several things on the way. Something fell and hit the floor with a ‘thud’ but your mind was occupied on Billy’s tongue. When his back hit a wall, the one right beside your bedroom door, he turned the two of you around and pushed you back against it, earning a grunt from you in return as he shoved his knee between your legs and yanked your hips towards him.

He shoved your head up, sucking on your neck with every quick kiss to your skin. You gave a quiet moan as you shifted against Billy’s thigh that pressed between your legs. You ached deeply inside for the man, this rush of sexual tension between you two only made each kiss and every touch that much better.

You reached down to grab at him, but he caught your hand and pressed it against the wall, biting your neck and making you yelp. His fingers easily pressed to your clit over the pajama pants that you wore. You let out a soft moan just as he went to shove his lips back against yours in a teeth-clattering kiss.

Before you could even think, Billy picked you up, slamming you back against the wall with your legs around his waist. You bit his lip by accident in return to his quick movements, but he didn’t even falter as he shoved his erection against your aching clit. You couldn’t wait for the clothing to come off and feel him inside of you for the first time.

“Mmm, Billy—“ You mumbled against his lips between hot, wet kisses. Neither of you cared about the drool on your chins, instead you were too focused on each other— the way Billy’s hips grinded against you in the front of your mind. Billy moved back a bit, sliding your shirt up to your waist. You quickly leaned closer so that he could strip the clothing off before pressing you back against the wall and tossing it somewhere. You hissed at the cold wall against your warm back, but it didn’t last long.

Billy finally pulled you away from the wall, walking to your bedroom and tossing you onto your bed, he got on top of you again, reaching over to turn the bedside lamp on while you ran your fingers up his shirt and felt along his light abs and to his chest.

Before he leaned back in to kiss you, Billy stripped his shirt and let it fall off the bed, grabbing your hands and sliding them up his chest, smirking at you when you bit your lip and smiled.

“You like what you see?” He asked in a teasing tone.

“I always like what I see.”

This wasn’t the first time the two of you had ended up in this position. But you both knew tonight was going to be different. There was a certain feeling in Billy’s gut that you wanted him this time. Your kisses were more desperate than the last.

“Then let’s get this off and let me admire your body, too.” He said, sliding his hand around your back and unclipping your bra. You shifted, making it easier on the man as he slid it off and tossed it aside, eyes falling to your breasts and giving a soft sigh. He reached down, fingers giving your left nipple a soft pinch and watching your other perk up quickly as you whined at the touch. “Do you want me?” He asked quietly. He knew the answer, but something told him to ask. When you confided in Billy about your past relationships, he took it to heart. He’d fallen in love with you over the years that you’d known each other. He didn’t want you to feel like you were just a sex toy to him— no matter how horny he was.

“I want you so bad,” you said back in a low tone. “I don’t want to wait anymore. I want to feel you inside of me. I want you to fuck me until I’m screaming.” He gave a soft chuckle and leaned down to kiss you.

“I’ll fuck you until your legs are shaking and you’re a blubbering mess.” Your fingers tingled at his words. Nobody had ever made your body react the way that Billy did.

He reached down, his fingers sliding into your pajama pants through the loose hem and pressing to your clit over the underwear that you wore; they were nothing special, plain black that didn’t match your pink bra.

You shifted your hips against his fingers as he started rubbing an antagonizingly slow circle against you. You gave a whine that made him laugh against your lips.

“You’re desperate, aren’t you?” He teased, gently biting your bottom lip before kissing it. “Patience, baby.”

“We’ve both been patient long enough,” you spoke, but Billy gave a hum in thought.

“I think I’ll make you wait a little bit longer.” You gave a disappointed groan and let your head fall back onto the comfortable bed. “Don’t worry— I won’t give you nothing. I’ll make sure you’re just barely brimming over the edge when I shove my cock inside of you.” He moved back, his fingers pulling your pajama pants down off your hips with your help. His fingers caught your underwear at the last second, tugging them down and moving so that he could slide them off of your legs.

He lifted your legs up, grabbing them with one hand while he tossed the clothing away, leaving you bare beneath him. Billy put your ankles on his shoulders and took his time gazing across your body.

“Every time I see it, it gets better.” He spoke quietly, his fingers sliding along your inner thighs and pressing to your clit. You gave a soft whimper at the touch before Billy moved his fingers down and teased your entrance. At the feeling, he immediately laughed. “Someone sure is wet tonight.”

“I told you— I’m ready for you.” He gave a thoughtful hum and abruptly shoved two of his fingers knuckle deep inside of you, earning a moan in return as he started to pump them inside of you. “Oh, Billy—“ You whined out, wiggling your hips against his hand. He placed his other hand on your hips and pressed you into the bed. “Mmm— Billy, please… move them faster.” He did as you asked, moving his fingers quicker inside of you and giving a soft kiss to your ankle before he shoved a third inside of you and earned a glorious moan from you just as the thunder boomed overhead.

Billy moved, letting your feet lay on the bed and resting down on his stomach. He didn’t waste any time before he put his tongue on your pussy, sliding it from the wetness against his fingers all the way to your clit that he gently sucked on and earned another sweet sound in return from. The sound of you moaning his name made him throb in the sweatpants that he was wearing. He could never hear it enough.

He swirled his tongue around your clit, fingers curling deep inside of you and making you moan out his name again. Your toes curled at the sensation of his warm tongue licking quickly at your clit and his fingers teasing your g-spot. He gave a suck to your clit before he started kissing along your hips towards your leg. Billy left a bite mark on your inner thigh that made you yell out. He kissed the spot, knowing that it was going to bruise— just what he wanted. A wordless way to say that he was here between your legs like nobody else could be ever again.

Your hips struggled against his mouth when he went back to your clit. He could feel the intensity building up; he knew for sure that you were going to have an orgasm soon, so with one final suck, he pulled his mouth and fingers away.

You looked at the man with a betrayed look, one that earned a teasing laugh.

“I told you that I was going to leave you brimming to the edge.” He spoke teasingly, leaning down to press a kiss to your lips that you quickly returned. “Now get on your knees and suck my cock.” Flustered, you were quick to get up and watch the man strip his pants and boxers , letting his aching erection finally be free from the clothing. You got on your knees on the floor at the end of the bed and leaned in to take the head into your mouth.

You could taste the pre-cum that was sliding down his shaft. With a hard suck, you pulled back and let him pop free from your mouth. He gave a soft sigh, hands reaching for your head while you leaned down and licked his balls. Billy watched you quietly, knowing that you knew what you were doing with him. Your tongue slid up his shaft before you engulfed the tip of his cock back into your warm mouth and started to bob your head along him, taking as much of him as you could into your mouth and reaching down with your free hand to hold his balls, occasionally gripping at them with your fingers.

You gave a quiet hum around him, shifting on your knees and pressing your legs together; you were aching for the man, sucking on his cock only made it worse. You were imagining how it would feel inside of you when Billy suddenly thrusted his hips up a couple of times and gagged you with his cock. Following suit, you took more of him into your mouth with every bob of your head, sucking on him and earning a quiet sound from the man as he held tighter onto your hair.

He twitched in your mouth as you sucked hard and slowly worked your way towards teasing his cockhead.

“Fuck,” he mumbled quietly, tugging gently on your hair while you started to deep-throat him again. Your fingers gripped tight at his thighs as he would thrust his hips up occasionally to gag you around him. Billy gave out another sigh before he pulled your head back and his cock slipped from your mouth. Drool slid down your chin as you met his gaze. He guided you up and pressed a kiss to your lips before he pulled you up with him as he stood and turned to shove you onto the bed.

“Scoot back.” You did as he said, moving to where your head would rest on the pillows you had. He sat between your legs, cock throbbing in his hand as he pressed a kiss to your lower stomach. “Ready?” You bit your lip and nodded, eyes following his every movement as he often did with you. Billy moved closer, lifting your legs to rest loosely around his waist.

You shivered as the tip of his cock pressed against your aching entrance. Without a second to spare, Billy started to push himself inside of you, his grip on your legs tight as he watched you lay your head back and moan. He closed his eyes, letting out a quiet moan of his own as he pushed all of himself inside of you.

Billy didn’t wait long, almost immediately starting to thrust his hips and pulling almost all of the way out before shoving it all back inside of you. Your eyes seemed to roll back into your head at the feeling of him bottoming out inside of you.

“Oh, f-fuck, Billy—!“ You moaned weakly, hands reaching down to hold his own against your thighs. “God, please go faster,” you finally met his gaze, eyes desperate as you squeezed his hands. “Please, daddy— please.” He sent you a small, teasing smile at the nickname you had given him long ago. It was an accident at first, but he had said that he wanted you to call him it and it had stuck quickly.

Billy started to thrust his hips faster, earning a pleasured moan from you; it was clear that you’d been aching for this as much as he had, so he decided to give you what you wanted and started to rock his hips even faster against you.

Each thrust seemed to earn him another, sometimes different, sound in pleasure. Billy lifted your legs, letting your ankles rest on his shoulder and leaning up slightly, burying himself further inside of you and earning a loud squeal in return.

He gave a soft chuckle and panted lightly, the feeling of you clenching around him was better than he thought it would be. You were so ready for him, but you were so tight. Squeezing around him with every rough thrust inside of you. Suddenly, he pulled out of you.

“Put your ass up in the air. I’m gonna fuck you in doggy.” You quickly nodded and moved onto your knees, resting down on your elbows. He pressed a soft kiss to your butt before he shoved himself inside of you without warning and nearly made you scream. Billy didn’t start slow and teasing this time. Instead he was fucking you as if he’d done this to you a thousand times, simply knowing your body by heart.

His fingers grabbed at your waist, but he pulled a hand back to give your ass a slap that made you moan as you wiggled back against him. Billy leaned over you, pressing down against your body and wrapping his arm around your neck, letting your chin rest against his forearm while he fucked you as fast as he could in the new position. You shifted beneath the man, being as close as humanly possible while moaning almost pathetically.

He pressed a kiss to the side of your head and moved to grab the headboard with one hand, grabbing your ass with the other and occasionally giving it a rough slap that left it red. Billy moved you, lifting your upper body up with his arm and pressing you flush back against his chest. Your head laid back on his shoulder, your hair tickling his nose before he leaned down and kissed your shoulder where he could.

You were quickly becoming a moaning, blubbering mess against the man as he shoved deep inside of you. This time, he reached around and started to rub your clit, his lips kissing your shoulder as you moaned loudly. You could barely move back against the man as you reached your first orgasm, digging the back of your head into his shoulder.

Billy pushed you forward, pressing your hands to the headboard as he pulled back to watch himself fuck you from behind. He gave a soft moan, glancing at you as your shoulders leaned against the bed frame. You moaned again for the man, returning a few of his lagged thrusts by pushing your hips back against him. He leaned forward and bit your shoulder this time.

“Ah! Billy!” You yelled out, squeezing the mans cock tighter than before as he grabbed rough at your waist. You knew that you would be bruised tomorrow, but you didn’t care. The only thing on your mind was Billy’s cock slamming inside of you and the headboard starting to hit the wall along with the creaking of the bed.

Once again, Billy pulled back and let himself slide out of you, this time turning you and setting you on his legs. He pressed a kiss to your lips, slowly bringing you down with him as he laid on the bed. You shifted on the man, trying not to break the heated kiss as you pushed his cock inside of you. Billy’s hands groped at your ass, lips hot against your own as you started to rock against him.

Finally, you pulled back, leaning back onto his legs and rolling your hips on him. He met your gaze with a dark look in his eyes, fingers holding onto you as if you might disappear. You were flushed, sweaty— but he could only think about you rocking your hips against him. Billy stilled you, starting to thrust up inside of you and giving a soft moan as your breasts bounced with every movement.

You went along, starting to bounce along on his cock until he stopped and let you do the work. Your thighs started to burn quick, but watching Billy lay his head back and gulp was enough to keep you going all night if he asked you to.

A quiet moan left Billy, something you’d heard several times and were shocked by every time. Billy didn’t seem like the kind of guy to moan during sex.

The sound was like heaven to your ears.

When you started to slow your pace, Billy stopped you and leaned himself up onto his elbows, meeting your gaze as he panted along with you.

“Lay down.” Billy moved with you, pulling your hips against him and shoving himself inside of you, making you moan out loudly. He leaned in this time, down on his elbows, his nose pressed to your shoulder as he started to thrust inside of you.

Your toes curled s you wrapped your legs around his waist and clenched at his shoulders. You could feel another orgasm coming quick with every steady thrust from the man.

“Fuck, daddy I’m gonna cum! I’m gonna cum! Please, daddy— don’t stop! Don’t stop!” He didn’t say anything, but he pressed a kiss to your shoulder and continued at his pace, giving a soft grunt as you clenched around him and pressed up against him as you reached another orgasm. “Will you cum in me?” You asked the man after a few desperate pants. He gave a soft hum and pulled back to meet your gaze.

“I sure as hell will.” He pressed his hands flat on either side of your head, watching your face as you moaned out; Billy thrusted his hips quick against you, knowing that he wasn’t going to last much longer.

For this round at least.

He leaned his head back, closing his eyes and biting his lip.

“Fuck,” he mumbled. “You feel so fuckin’ good.” He met your eyes again and panted. “I’m gonna cum.” You reached up, fingers sliding through his hair.

“Cum as deep inside of me as you can so I can feel you dripping out of me.” He bit the inside of his cheek, not letting the higher moans he could give slip from his mouth; instead, he grunted with every thrust, though only giving a few before he quickly shoved all of himself inside of you and moaned quietly as he came. He gave a few slow thrusts afterwards before he let himself rest and licked his lips.

“Goddamn,” he moved away from you, laying on the bed beside you and wrapping an arm around you as you moved closer. You were both still panting, coming down from the high of sex together. “You feel even better than I thought you would.”

“Mmm, ditto.” He chuckled at your sleepy tone and pressed a kiss to your head.

“Is that all you got in you? Just one round?” He teased, but you were quick to fire back.

“Give me five minutes and I could ride your dick for hours.”

“Maybe I should hold you to that.”

“Hold me against whatever you want, baby. If it’s you, I’d certainly not mind.”

[rottenpumpkin13]

Out Of Context Shit Heard On The SOLDIER Floor #6

Previous: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5

Angeal: No, Genesis, you spaghetti-noodle-spine-having-ass bitch.

Sephiroth: I identify as a tonberry *chases Cloud with a kitchen knife*

Zack: Ra Ra Rasputin *kicks Sephiroth over*

Genesis: Unhand me you cretin *alone, talking to no one*

Angeal: Zack just showed me a picture of the Grinch and said "hear me out"

Lazard: No, Sephiroth, you cannot have a human-sized cat bed in your office "for enrichment"

Cloud: Parkour time *crashes through the air vents*

Sephiroth: I'm the biggest lesbian ally in this department, actually.

Angeal: For the sake of my sanity I'm gonna pretend I didn't just see Zack twerking to One Winged Angel.

Luxiere: I would commit unspeakable atrocities for a crumb of Zack's attention.

Lazard: That stripper pole better be gone when I get back or so help me, Genesis, I will return you to the goddess.

Sephiroth: *does a single pump of sore throat spray* This is enough for sustenance for the day.

Kunsel: Care for a deep-fried cigarette?

Angeal: You look like an AI-generated twink.

Sephiroth: I've grown so tired of Genesis's voice that we now communicate solely through interpretive dance.

Lazard, over the speakers: Whoever heated fish in the break room microwave, please come by my office so I can break your knees.

Zack: Aww, I forgot to feed the Roomba :(

Genesis: I don't know why me and Angeal are being judged. Simulating a birth with a watermelon is a perfectly normal activity for two people.

Kunsel: Hopefully this office party won't end in accidental weed use.

Angeal: WHY IS THERE A FAMILY OF RACCOONS IN THE TRAINING ROOM?

Genesis: I noticed some homosexual subtext in your screams, do you want to talk about that?

Angeal: *sniff sniff* Ooh~ who's barbecuing? OH MY GOD IT'S AN ELECTRIC FIRE.

Roche: Every time I think about chopping my hair short I think "Sephiroth wouldn't want this for me" and the feeling is gone.

Genesis: I made a friend *drags in a skeleton with a Sephiroth wig*

Cloud: *points at Angeal, Genesis and Sephiroth* Pure of heart, dumb of ass, big of tit.

Lazard: I told Zack to use Excel and he started sobbing.

Angeal: WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST SEASONING YOUR GROUND BEEF?

Sephiroth: It's extremely rude to ask someone why they're eating a salad bowl of udon at 8 AM. Mind your business, Zack.

Cloud: Genesis likes Loveless so much because the title resonates with his love life.

Zack: You keep your anxiety pills in a takeaway to-go box? Dude that's so fancy.

Lazard: Why is Sephiroth the only one wearing a shirt??

Angeal: Common sense has chased Zack all his life but he wears wheelies so he's faster

Sephiroth: I personally don't use the peace sign because I haven't had a day of peace since I was 12.

Kunsel: I'm never going out in public with Zack again. A child's balloon popped when it went near his hair.

Angeal: No I'm not giving you an aspirin. Last time I gave you one you crushed it and snorted it like cocaine.

Lazard: An overwhelming majority of you peaked in kindergarten.

Sephiroth: Zack, I'm becoming increasingly concerned by the amount of potatoes in your pants right now.

Zack: This year I want an A/B/O themed birthday party.

Sephiroth: Please don't commit tax fraud, Genesis. You won't thrive in prison.

Genesis: Does anyone have an extra ramen packet to give Sephiroth? The 64 he consumed this morning weren't enough.

Roche: Commander Rhapsodos and his emo fringe is our culture.

Zack: I'm at my fucking limit! I'm about to eat a vegetable!

Genesis: He's a son of a bitch Sephiroth: That implies he has a mother, so I don't see how that's an insult.

Zack: Fuck around and find out *said with a chunk of Genesis' red coat hanging from his pocket*

Cloud: Does anyone have an extra brain cell? I lost my remaining one when Genesis spoke to me this morning.

Sephiroth: Damn.

Kunsel: Zack owes me so much money that if he sold his box of random shit he stole from Angeal, he still couldn't pay me back.

Angeal: Why are you guys playing Queen's Blood in the closet? is this a metaphor?

Genesis: Have you prayed to your Sephiroth cardboard cutout yet today?

Sephiroth: Alert me once Rufus Shinra arrives so that I may greet him adequately *said while building a pipe bomb*

Lazard: It's all fun and games until the timeout cage that I ordered online arrives.

Genesis: I will atone for my sins by becoming a nuisance to the environment.

Cloud: If Zack were a scented candle he'd smell like ADHD and crayons.

Sephiroth, standing on a table: DO NOT. EAT. THE CHEESECAKE. IN THE FRIDGE. It's mine.

Angeal: *with a bucket while it's raining hale* Free ice baby.

Zack: I finally have enough gil to buy a sixteen bouncy castles.

Genesis: Being overcome with the desire to eat pasta and call your mother at 2 AM and wondering if you're having a mental breakdown or are possessed by Sephiroth.

Lazard: I can't fire any of you, but I'm about to start setting things on fire.